#Stop being offended by every other opinion

[trexalicious]

[nikosheba]

A couple job interview hacks from someone who has to give a job interview every single goddamn day: (disclaimer: this goes for my process and my company’s process, other companies and industries might be different)

1. There are a few things I check and a few questions I ask literally just to figure out if you can play the game and get along with others in a professional setting. Part of the job I interview for is talking to people, and we work in teams. So if you can’t “play the game” a tiny bit, it’s not going to work. Playing the game includes:

- Why do you want to work here? (just prove that you googled the company, tell me like 1 thing about us, I just want to know that you did SOME kind of preparation for this interview)

- Are you wearing professional clothing? I don’t need a suit just don’t show up in a ratty t-shirt and sweatpants.

- Are you able to speak respectfully and without dropping f-bombs all the time? Not because I’m offended but because I don’t want to be reported to HR if you wind up on my team.

- Can you follow simple directions in an interview?

2. Stop telling me protected information. I don’t want to know about what drugs or medications you’re on, I don’t want to know about you being sick, I don’t want to know if you’re planning to have children soon, I don’t want to know anything about your personal life other than “can you do the job?” 

3. When we ask, “What questions do you have for me?” here are my favorites I’ve heard: - What does the day-to-day look like for a member of your team?

- If one of your team members was not performing up to his usual standard, what steps would you take to correct that?

- What can I start doing now to accelerate my learning process in this job?

- What are some reservations you have about me as a candidate? (be ready for this emotionally....it will REALLY help you in the future, and I’ve had people save themselves from a No after this, but can be hard to hear)

- In your opinion, what skills and qualities does the ideal candidate for this job possess?

- What advice would you give to a new hire in this position/someone who wanted to break into this industry, as someone who has worked here for a while?

Those are just my tips off-the-cuff. I work in sales in marketing/SAAS, so these can be very different depending on the industry, but I wish the people I interview could read this before they show up. 

[zillatastic]

rapper! ony x singer! reader

summary: good girl gone bad ; you just can’t get enough of rapper ! ony who has made a name for himself for participating in a plethora of (usually) one-sided rap beefs, being a creative lyricist/producer, & being such a bad influence to your heart.

(I suck at summarizing ಥ_ಥ̥)

this post contains: head-cannons, cursing, n-word usage, smidge of smut, spelling errors, lowercase grammar, semi-toxic ! ony or wtv, crybaby ! reader, vague description of reader’s body, lowk clickbaited summary, not proofread.

▬▬ rapper! ony who “accidentally” leaks a snippet of his new song with your moans as the intro melody.

much to your horror the audio blows up on tiktok and now every time you open the app, that accursed audio plays.

the worst thing about it is that every time you bring up the audio to ony and question how it even got leaked in the first place, you’re met with a..

“mmcht, ma, for the last time I don’t know how it got leaked. connie’s dumb ass must have did something stupid and posted the wrong shit.”

or a..

“fatbutt, I don’t know why you complaining. you sound sexy as fuck and the fans wanna hear more of the track once i release it. you don’t wanna disappoint our fans, right ma?”

“n-no, I don’t wanna disappoint them but I just don’t feel comfortable with it. maybe you can call connie one more time and try to get it taken care of ?”

“ight.”

it never gets taken care of, in fact three weeks later ony drops the song with eren as featured artist which doubles the song’s popularity and makes it on the billboard hot 100.

“whose pussy is this, ma ? ~ mhm tell me ?” ony asks while delivering slow harsh strokes into your trembling body. your hair wrapped tightly in his hands as it helps aid his assault into your weeping cunt while his free hand is gripping your midsection equally as tight.

“f-fucknmhm, it’s yours pa,” ony’s abusive thrusts to your pussy force your words to ball up in the back of your throat as you try to concentrate on listening to his commands and hold the phone recording the intimate moment.

watching the phone slowly start to slip through your half- boneless hands, it urged him to re-wrap your hair (tightly) into his hands and harshly lift your body onto his chest while continuing his now- upward thrusts into your cunt. the new angle allowed a deeper reach into your cervix as ony heartlessly knocked into it. “say it louder for the camera baby. whose owns this pussy ?”

“ony does, ony owns my pussy. fuck~ please pa I’m so close.”

“good girl, ma. you so pretty when you cry. now cum for me.” ony commands as he watches your body tremble in pure overstimulation and pleasure. biting his lip as he gently wipes the tears from out the corner your eyes and leans down to kiss your cheek.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who can sense when someone is making his girl laugh.

“ony what is your opinion on the Kendrick vs Drake beef?” a reporter asked while shoving her mic into his face.

ony who was tired of being asked this question sighed and tried his best to formulate a sentence that would not offend either rapper.

“well you know I be-” he stops mid sentence to turn around before hearing the soft chuckle of his girlfriend from across the garden of the regal event.

the reporter who was standing there unanswered lifted a brow and tried to gain ony’s attention back on the question for it’s live broadcasted audience.

“umm, ony ?” the reporter asked until she heard a feminine chuckle from the other side of her. the reporter and the cameraman turned swiftly to what caught ony’s eye to see you laughing hysterically at something thee Brent Faiyaz said.

“I’ll be back.” ony mumbled.

(damn.. someone stole my bitch.)

▬▬ rapper ! ony who promotes your music to his hardcore fan base.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who cannot keep his hands off your body.

he is stuck to you like white on rice.

you physically cannot escape this man because his strong arms are always securely wrapped around your waist, neck or arm.

ony isn’t a controlling person, but he is very clingy. he likes to feel the presence of his girl around him and having a body part of his connect to yours-

It sedates him.

cheesy? I know.. but he’s your man, so you’ll deal with it.

▬▬ rapper ! ony whose mean mug is nasty.

he does not play when it comes to people besides him being handsy with you.

ony’s sideeye has become a stan twitter icon.

in the earlier stages of your blooming relationship ony did not want to come off as too overbearing (he is) and let a lot of of his boundaries be overstepped. he never wanted to cause a big scene, so he always used his face to project his emotions instead of his words and fist.

a particular event where you had been pulled to the side to be interviewed had blown up all over social media because of ony deviously standing in the back- mugging the fuck out of the reporter whose hands were on the small of your back.

retweets of the incident had you delighted while ony was rather annoyed.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who dedicates an entire album to you.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who corrects your behavior.

ony has eyes all over. never forget that.

you two had gotten into an argument the day before over something small. at this point you had already forgotten what you two were arguing about, but the impact of the altercation was still there.

you despised when ony bested you in an argument and in retaliation you decided to attend a not-so little house party that ony advised you not to attend.

so what did you do?

you went to the party.

that night you’d tell ony that it was all sasha’s fault, but this was a conscious choice made by yourself.

that night you were spent bent over ony’s leg being spanked till tears then finger fucked.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who can’t stop talking about you during interviews.

▬▬ rapper ! ony who verbally dragged another artist who decided it would be cute to throw shade at your new single.

“ony, delete the tweet.” with your hands on your hips you let out a deep sigh. you two have been bickering back and forth all evening about the tweet-simply because you didn’t care what someone with barely 500k streams had to say.

“no, she’s gonna learn to pick her battles wisely today, ma.”

“oh my fucking god onyankopon put the phone down.”

(end of rapper! ony x singer! reader headcannons pt. 1)

author note: thank you so much for reading and noting. I have not written in years (2019-22) and I wanted to jump back into something new. usually I would’ve written a 10k fanfic on naruto but I’ve been tuning into a lot of aot/jjk content and I’ve decided this is my new era of writing. I cannot wait to find my own comfort and flow with this new fandom !!

[writingwithfolklore]

Relationships and Closeness

              There’s two kinds of relationships in a story—the bond your characters have with each other, and the bond the reader has with your characters. Try to push the relationship to levels of vulnerability too fast, too soon and both types will come off as forced or stiff.

              Luckily, there’s a helpful tool for categorizing what ‘stage’ of closeness people have with each other from communications theory, but I think could also be used for writing. It’s called (and stick with me here), the social penetration theory. (Cue that Pitch Perfect gif)

              The stages (generally) go as follows:

1. Orientation

This stage is basic, safe information you might initially share with a stranger. Name, age, maybe pronouns, where you’re from, where you go to school or work, etc.

2. Exploratory affective

This is likes and dislikes, some preferences, and other safe opinions. You’re probably not getting into politics too much yet, but you might share which class is your favourite, what you think about where you live, etc. Typically opinions you’d think are unlikely to offend the other person.

3. Affective

This stage sounds like it is—an increase in affection! This can look like making jokes or goofing around together, sharing goals and aspirations, and generally being a bit more familiar. Typically your work friends or peers get to this stage, and unless you hang out with them outside of work/school, (in my experience) they stay at this stage too.

4. Stable

You start to get more comfortable and share more personal details. Religious/political affiliation, sexuality, sometimes family details and other things about your inner life are shared here.

5. Depenetration (ew)

This stage is the last and the most vulnerable. This is where you share deeply held fears, fantasies, traumas, mental health, and other deeply personal details. Can include your own concept of self, or conversations that go into that depth of individual humanity—what makes you, you on a fundamental level?

              Some relationships stop at an earlier level than others, but that doesn’t make them less strong. Have you ever met someone where you don’t really know all that much about them, but you’d still stick up for them against anything? Versus someone you’ve known forever and you’ve shared all your insecurities with, but you still might prefer to hang out with someone else on your birthday.

              These stages are a guideline, not a rule, to how people tend to interact and the order of which they tend to share with each other. That doesn’t mean that people won’t jump to one stage before another—just that it can sometimes be unreciprocated, or feel a bit uncomfortable. It all depends on the situation and the people within it.

              However, it can be helpful to use these guidelines as a guide to what to share and when in your writing. Right away, you’d probably tell readers your main character’s name before their deepest trauma—or maybe not, maybe you’d establish your character with that openness to the reader right off the bat. What’s important is that you determine what level your character is at with others, and with the reader, and move through them with intention.

              I hope this makes sense!

[moodymisty]

You know what I think? Since most of the primachs are emotionally constipated along with their legions except Vulkan. I headcanon that gestures ( like hugs or Emperor forbid kissing(on the cheek) that might be acceptable amongst friends. Your primach lover/husband probably won't like or think every male other primachs will try to take u away. If it's a baseline human then depending on the primarch they're getting unalived. Or Peter Turbo will most likely throwing them of a balcony. Sanguinius on the other hand I see him being more lenient... on the surface. The angel will probably be a little pissed off.

Bobby G I see him nipping it in the bud and Konrad will probably just eat them or send em to the next chew toy of the Night lords.

I think depending on the legion they'll be offended for the genefather if a human tried to flirt with their Legion Mother. Plus it aint like they're gonna get another one. Not in this lifetime at least. ex Blood Angel's and Salmanders

The night lords would deal with the homewrecker immediately to prevent Konrad from going off the deep end and repeat the flesh statue incident

Lorgar would probably see it as sacrilegious for quote 'Attempting to separate the bond of him and his love, his soul mate, and goddess. You must perish for that.'

Since most of the legion and primarchs see humans as expendable except the Salmanders. I wonder how it'll go over if reader was a human from Terra whose heart goes out for the common man. Or reader tries to save her friend by pleading for her primarch to forgive the 'transgression'

Ps. I see that afterwards reader won't have many friends at least outside of the space marines. Or any friends she does have will distant themselves to avoid triggering a jealous Primarch

Sorry this is so long. Just wanted to know your thoughts

I agree with this a lot. It's easy to see how they would misinterpret friendly gestures, or allow love to turn into possession. And as for the legion, they are vehemently programmed to protect their primarch and in their mind their primarch's beloved eventually in a way becomes part of them, and is wrapped in that vehement protection, but being a baseline it's ever worse. People just trying to talk to her and show her respect get threatened until she has no one but her primarch and his men.

also yeah... sorry i vomited some writing here real quick.

-------------------

“Please, calm down!”

The Space wolf lieutenant largely ignores your plea, standing tall and intimidating the man who sits at the left end of the table. The other astartes of your retinue are similarly on guard, both in defense of their lieutenant. You are frozen in your seat thanks to a ceramite gauntlet holding you down, the marine attempting to push his body between you and their new target.

“Our Wolf Mother is betrothed to Primarch Russ. And you, some measly baseline, attempt to steal her?”

The man glances to you briefly as you try to argue on his behalf, standing up.

“Lieutenant! He was only being polite, stop this!”

Perhaps the man’s choice in words was a bit tackless, but he had clearly meant not much by it, however the Wolves take even the slightest thing so incredibly seriously.

"You are a beautiful and smart woman," His hand reached forward to gently touch yours over top of the papers you have stacked. "If only I had gotten to you before the Space Wolves did!"

Normally your men listen to you well; If Russ issues orders your husband will quite obviously rank above you, but they still take your opinion into a surprising amount of account. But for some reason during these past few months, as they've begun to call you Wolf Mother, they have shown their teeth and threatened anyone who so much as comes within grabbing distance of you.

"This is ridiculous, quit this!"

You look to the man who has lost all blood in his face, under the glare of a massive Space Wolf with braids decorating his hair. "I am so sorry, there's been a horrible misunderstanding and I-" You choke on your words as the instigating Space Wolf turns to you.

"There has been no misunderstanding, he-" You open your mouth and quickly speak, cutting him off. "No, there has been! The man was using hyperbole, he didn't actually mean what he said!"

The wolf looks down at you, and you see anger in his face slowly simmer down. You silently thank the Emperor and breath a sigh, putting your head in your hands.

This behavior keeps getting worse; You feel like you're stuck in a vice trap. So many people fallen from your life because they fear the snap of a Space Wolf's teeth, or worse, their Primarch's. You know Russ is instigating this behavior, encouraging it, is part of it, keeping you feeling so suffocated. You're so tired, you don't understand why they're acting like this.

Your head in your hands you let out a shaky breath, pressing down on the corners of your eyes so water doesn't leak from them. This is all too much. As you lean back up, the lieutenant sees the redness in your eyes and while stoic, is still noticeably concerned that you're about to cry.

"Wolf Mother… Are you well?" You take a deep breath and clear your throat.

"I'm fine. We should go." When you go to get up again, the gauntlet on your shoulder gives way and lets you rise up. You dip your head at the man who is starting to have color return to his face, now that he no longer is being threatened.

"I am so sorry, on behalf of everything. We'll be taking our leave."

You move to walk away, and your retinue follows close behind; Like a shadow.

[sturnioloshacker]

argument apologies - a matt sturniolo short

a/n: requested by @stupendousoperatorwolfathlete; lowercase intended

DISCLAIMER: THIS IS ALL FICTIONAL! MATT WOULD NEVER EVER DO THIS TO THIS SIGNIFICANT OTHER! PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT TO HEART!

cw: very angsty but has a fluffy ending

summary: a heated argument results in physical contact

in the dimly lit living room, matt and i are engaged in a heated argument. the tension thickened with every exchanged word until, in a moment of frustration, matt's hand swung accidentally, making contact with my cheek. time seemed to freeze as shock registered on both our faces. stunned, i recoiled and fled to the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind me. i lean back against the door, holding my cheek as i slide down the door in tears. why did he do that? what caused him to do that? i said nothing to offend him. it’s his fault that i’m pissed off. 

the tears haven’t stopped. i’m so angry and upset right now, it’s going to take a lot to get me to be happy again. i silence my flowing waterworks when i hear footsteps inching closer to the bathroom door. then it’s complete silence. am I hearing things? after what felt like an eternity, i hear a gentle knock, signalling matt’s remorse and guilt. 

“baby, i’m so sorry. can you please let me in so i can explain?”

i hesitated but opened the bathroom slightly, coming face to face with the boy who i adore but who also just broke my heart. matt’s eyes mirrored regret as he spoke.

“i never meant for any of this. i let my anger get the best of me, and i’m truly sorry."

“i’m really hurt, matt. not just physically but mentally and emotionally. i can’t believe you chose to hit me. what did i do to deserve that, huh?” i say, tears still streaming down my face.

“i should never have raised my hand, and i promise it will never happen again. i care about you, and i can't stand the thought of hurting you. i can’t stand the thought of arguing with you either. i hate both of those with a passion. i’m so fucking sorry, my love. if you need more time to yourself, i understand. but i really am so sorry.”

i felt a sense of sincerity in his voice as he spoke, his own eyes welling with tears. he begins to walk away from the bathroom, wanting to give me space, but not before looking back with a sad smile on his face. i close the bathroom door, conflicted at the situation i’m in. i love the boy with every fibre of my being, i really do, but he stepped over the boundary line. i don’t know what to do. i decide to message nick and chris and get their opinion.

y: guys, i have a problem

n: everything okay? 

c: is it matt? is it you? what happened?

y: long story short, matt hit me during an argument, he apologised but now i don’t know what to do

n: what a fucking idiot!

c: dickhead

y: okay, okay calm down please! i don’t want this ruining your relationship with your brother

n: so he apologised?

y: yes

c: i reckon you should talk to him. he just messaged me a whole essay about your situation and he’s really upset and defeated by it

n: i agree with chris for once. he’s not going to let it go until you forgive him. he loves you so much, he really does

y: i’ll go talk it out with him. thanks guys 💕

i head to matt’s room, knocking on the door. being told to come in, i slowly make my way in. i gasp at the view in front of me. tissues sprawled everywhere, a sweater of mine on the floor and his figure curled up on his bed. 

“matt, please look at me.” i whisper, picking up my sweater from the floor.

matt slowly looks up at me, his eyes all red and cheeks puffy. his lips are all swollen from the tears he wept. 

“oh matty”, i sigh, another load of tears threatening to spill from my eyes.

“baby, i-“

“shh, shh, shh. it’s okay, bub. i forgive you. one argument and one slap isn’t going to destroy our relationship. i love you way too damn much to let some lame argument get in the way of what we have.”

“oh thank god. i love you so much, thank you for forgiving me. can i get a hug?”

“of course you can.”

i lean into his embrace, only to be pulled in closer. the hug is gentle yet full of love. i feel matt’s fingers lightly scratch my back while i play with matt’s hair, our fingers dancing along their respective areas. i look up at the boy, my heart beating super fast at the adoration and pure love i have for him. i press my lips to his, the kiss igniting a fire deep inside us. that night, we fell asleep, cuddled up nice and close in each other’s arms. the world around us started moving again, everything was back to how it was and our relationship was still intact. 

[cvnt4him]

Spending 4th of July w zuzu!!!

Usually on holidays everyone on campus is supposed to go home and spend time with their families, but of course it's tradition for you all to spend some time with each other before you all part to be with your families.

You all hung out in the common area and watched a movie and laughed together eating snacks and wearing little onesies giving your last hugs to each other before leaving. You, izuku, and katsuki were the first to leave you all went together because izukus mom loved you and he loved that she loved you so he couldn't imagine going and not bringing you with him, and katsuki was basically family to inko, plus his mom and dad were barbequing among other things.

The three of you caught the train to head over to the bakugous house. You sat next to izuku lying your head on his shoulders he laid his on top of yours with a soft smile as he closed his eyes sighing in content. Katsuki groaned and looked out the window your lovey dovey bullshit was making him sick to his stomach, he couldn't believe he had to ride all the way to his house with you two.

Upon arriving you see inko welcoming you all in hugging each and every one of you. She leads you all to the backyard to see katsukis mother sitting on a chair watching her husband and toshinori [allmight] put food on the grill.

"mistuki, look who's arrived!!"

Inko calls out to her friend catching her attention, the blonde legs down her sunglasses to see her son, his friend and a girl she's never met before, you.

"well I'll be damned. Who this little firecracker?"

She asks standing and walking over to you all with open arms, she hugs izuku first with a sway before rubbing her hands in her hand through her sons hair who pushes her arm away, she slaps him in the head before he groans loudly and yells at her, they begin arguing over literally nothing as izuku chuckles nervously and turns to you. You give him a warm smile before mistuki ignores her son and turns to you with a happy smile.

"well I'll be damned. Little izuku has himself a cute lil girlfriend!"

"auntie mistuki this is y/n, my normal sized girlfriend!"

You wave politely with a slight bow to your head, you weren't exactly shy you just didn't want to exactly talk yet. You were afraid you'd say the wrong thing and embarrass yourself. You've already won over inko but katsukis mom was hot, her opinion mattered a lot to inko as well so if you didn't make a good impression she might think something bad of you. You cannot let that happen, you speak your mind often uncontrollably so it's best you keep your mouth shut so you don't offend anyone.

Izuku placed his arm around your waist and planted a kiss to your forehead, you wrapped your arms around his neck and buried you face in his neck. Mistuki and inko gush about how cute the two of you are.

"KATSUKI! WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET?!"

You all see mistuki yell and question her son who tells her to quote "stop talking to me you old hag!" Which leads to her stomping away to hit her son with her shoe.

Izuku laughed and turned to you he looked at you with the most love filled eyes in the world. His blazing wide emerald green eyes peering down at you. His pupils were literally heart shaped. He had that stupid wobbly lovesick smile on his face his freckles being flushed with a light blush. He was adorable.

"what 'zuku."

You say looking up to him, he shakes his head and just continues to look down at you. He was so in love with you he couldn't help but admire you, your face, your eyes, your lips. You were mesmerizing and he was glad to call you his.

"I love you."

"I love you too, silly."

AN: anyways chat happy 4th of July or wtv if any of you even celebrate ts. I'm black and my family will use any little day as an excuse to barbecue and throw water balloons n what not.

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

why are law of assumption women on tumblr so defensive and fragile? i wasn't trying to harm you. i just hoped you can say something beautiful and poetic to help me feel like i deserve my desires even tho others worked 20 years for success

Warning: A Rant + plus if you don't like what i said just scroll down buddy:

Well i'll excuse myself if i offended you, cause some anons just Comes at me and sending hateful Asks or don't believe in loa (and please stop saying mean words about everyone, be grateful that i'm answering your ask).

Anyways, many people, no BILLIONS OF PEOPLE around the World don't know the existence of Law of assumption.

So you should consider yourself lucky that you discovered the cheat code to life.

We were taught since we were young that for achieving something or deserving something we need to work hard, so you'll start noticing that many people that discover loa will have difficulties manifesting their desires, why? Because they still have this lingering thought and feelings that they should work hard to deserve it or consider loa too good to be true that it is easy and simple.

Everyone deserve success and a better life, no one deserve horrible circumstances, being poor, being Homeless, having abusive parents and partners.

You deserve every single thing that exist in this entire universe.

We were born to learn, explore, have a better life and many more.

You don't need a degree to be a millionnaire.

You don't need money to have a car.

You don't need to be perfect and pretty to be with your SP.

You don't need to be a good student to get accepted to your desired university/college.

You have this power at the palms of your hand, use it and you'll be the happiest person alive.

Decide your desire+ affirm + persist.

That all you need to do.

Now for the part where you said that people wasted so much time working for 30 years to have what they want, well sadly these people doesn't know the existence of LOA.

This life is not supposed to be a burden, it is supposed to be easy, but sadly the society kept feeding us that WE can't have that and that without working hard for it.

I feel so Bad about those who have commited suicide and they didn't know there was too much to life.

But don't you DARE Say that these people who have Dreams to achieve are pick me or lazy, you don't know them and you don't know what happening to them behind their blogs/account.

If you don't like what i said, you're free to leave.

No one, literally NO ONE is forcing you to believe in loa.

If you think it is unfair well that is your belief and your opinion.

But i'm just here to tell you that you deserve every fucking desire you want to have, that include wealth, happiness and health, even the most illogical things.

I Hope you realize that there's more to life.

Xoxo, Eli

[famemonsterrr]

Astrology observations part 13;

Pliz don’t copy my work and pliz don’t get offended if you can’t relate with my blog because they are my opinions and what I have seen around me

➶-͙˚ ༘✶

; I have noticed when you and ur partner have 8th house placements you tend to be really obsessed with each other even if you have broke up u probably can’t move on that easily. ✩

For example if you have Venus in the 8th house and your partner has mars in the 8th house or if you both have more than one of 8th house placements. This is could be a blessing or a curse ✩ I have seen this happening multiple times

; speaking of houses and couples/friends ✩ if you have the same houses then it means you have the same energy and understand each other really well ✩

; I don’t know it is me and all of my friends but libra moon are the most talkative out of the air signs ✩ They never stop communicating and sharing everything with their loved one✩ also they tend to overshare a lot ✩

; Virgo women are soo talented in everything without trying hard ✩ Let’s just say they are naturally talented but also they love to be perfect ✩

; air and fire signs can’t stay calm under serious situations ✩ water and earth signs are the ones who can deal with everything and stay strong no matter what ✩

; I know it’s overrated to say but never trust a men that is a Gemini or have Gemini placements ✩ from my personal experiences all the Gemini I had interactions or flirted with they end up being so psychotic ✩

➶-͙˚ ༘✶

; maybe it’s a mutable thing but I have noticed that Gemini, Pisces, Virgo and Sagittarius tend to have a hobby and then leave it for no reason and after few months they remember it again and get addicted ✩

Speaking of mutable signs I have to mention how funny it is that they try something new and they fail so badly. I’m a Pisces and I love cooking but the amount of times I have failed and burned food…on the other hand my bestie who is cancer she can do everything without trying hard.

; I know a lot will disagree with me but Aquarius placements either they will love astrology or they will say it’s stupid and they don’t believe it ✩

; you might not agree but the most dark and deepest out of all the zodiac signs is Scorpio ✩ They just are- and I remember once I asked a friend of mine who has Scorpio placements "what colour matches with the feeling of love?" and he answered "black because love is consuming and deep" ✩

; we all know that libra, Gemini and Aries are the most indecisive creatures but y’all forgot about Pisces ✩ THEY CANT decide anything ever ✩

; in my head libra and Pisces relationship is like Pam and Jim from the office ✩

; also two Pisces being in relationship reminds me of Ken and barbie from life in the dream house ✩ ironically both of them are Pisces indeed ✩

; 8th house and Scorpio placements tend to change friends every 2 years and that happens because themselves their are changing and so does the people who surround them ✩ These placements are about rebirth and involving ✩

; Gemini and Pisces are the signs who can’t end a show or movie ✩ like my mom she can’t watch a movie ✩ 3 minutes in and she has stopped watching it already ✩

; Leo , Capricorn and Virgo they look they have their shit together because they look so organised and "perfect" but they aren’t at all ✩ most the times are a mess but they know how to hide it better than the rest ✩ Leo with their confidence, Virgo with their clean and organised space and Capricorn with their decisive character ✩ I know u losing ur mind babes xoxo ✩

; water rising have the most beautiful eyes ever they look like they sparkling ✨

That’s all 💙

Thank you for reading so far and liking my blog ✩ I’m really grateful ✩ plz take into consideration that I’m not a professional astrologer and neither a Native American so I try my best to not make mistakes ✩ stay hydrated and health in these summer days ✩ send you love and light for y’all

Also here is my master-list if you are interested 💙

[kerubimcrepin]

An analysis of That One Moment from Wakfu OVA - Book 2, Ush

Technically, this post is a part 4 of my liveblog, but still...

Today we will be talking about the interaction that I am most mentally ill about in the entirety of Wakfu.

Before I go completely off the rails: I think it's cute that despite everything, Keke still cares a lot about Ecaflip and Ecaflipus, and Atcham still cares about killing people for wronging him.

Things have changed after six centuries, but they're still just themselves. Anyway.

There is so much happening here. SO much. Let me break it down point by point:

The most obvious one: by addressing them as kids, he pulls his "I am roleplaying as your father for these strangers who don't know anything about our weird familial situation, and you will obey me" card. This is important because:

Kerubim and Atcham know how much Joris cares about the Brotherhood of Tofu and their opinions of him, to the point of going a little bit crazy at the thought of offending Yugo and Adamai.

So, even if him pulling the "I'm your dad" card is a bit egocentric, they can't say anything about that openly — because Joris would be so, so sad if everyone in this room knew he lives with his dad for 600 years now. He'd be so mad too, because "papychaaa, chaaaoncle stop embarrassing me in front of my friends!"

We KNOW Kerubim cares about not embarrassing Joris — because in the Dofus MMO he won't shut the hell up about his 20-30 dead loved ones from 200 years ago, says a Singular Thing about Atcham, and absolutely nothing about his very much alive son/fake dad, at best managing a little "we all want someone small in our lives..."

In my opinion, while some families are built on mutual roasting, the Crepin-Jurgen household houses three people with very fragile senses of self-esteem, so anything resembling roasting is usually light, exclusive to when they're all alone, and never about things that they actually hate about themselves ("short, weird, ugly, hypocrite, weak, overthinker"; "ugly" (some bald jokes allowed, but it depends on the mood); and "narcissist who kept his son in a hazardous environment for the first 7 years of his life and gave him 30 mental illnesses").

Besides the fact that Keke and Atch care about Joris making friends, — for the three of them (but especially Joris and Atcham), feeling belittled is the easiest way to ruin a relationship irreparably. If you insult them, it's just over. And I don't mean it in a funny-haha cutesy way. Sometimes, people actually dislike when they are insulted repeatedly about something they legitimately hate about themselves, and, y'know, hate everyone who hurts them this way? And you will not believe it, but people who actually care about them know and respect that. Because they love them.

So yeah, the three of them are all creatures of pride, and they respect that about each other, — which is why would never put each other in a position where they might get laughed at. (like suddenly revealing the Dad Roleplay and "600 years of living with his dad" sort of interpersonal lore)

However, being creatures of pride, I don't think Kerubim and Atcham are happy about Joris doing this. Especially because of the next point: Joris uses his position as their roleplay-dad and Asocial Son/Nephew Who Needs To Impress His Friends to essentially force them to let him go into a battle alone. Essentially, this line is translated as "you have glass bones and paper skin. you can't follow me because I said so, and you can't protest without looking weird." into Normal Human Tongue.

Joris does this for a very simple reason: they are weak (though so is he), and he's scared — he loves them! It's normal that he doesn't want to see them be hurt! Even if they have multiple lives, but they're not infinite lives, and it doesn't make every time they die NOT scary and traumatizing! He wants Kerubim and Atcham to go and rest, and he's also excited that they're finally meeting his friends.

However, unlike them, he only has one life — and they hate to see him hurt just as much, if not more, considering how much more danger he's always in:

They would really rather not leave their p'tit Jojo Joris alone with things they know are dangerous, — like Ush, — while Joris is weakened. No matter how much he wants to fight Ush one-on-one.

So, they refuse and even joke about him in the most subtle and funny way: using his own little game to make fun of him, and completely refuse his offer of leaving to rest in Sadida Kingdom, — coupled with an overexaggerated little shrug, and rubbing their statuses as so-called "sons" and "father" in his face.

These three come up with very elaborate rituals to communicate things that take normal people like ten seconds.

[digitaldiarystuff]

Unexpected

omg i can’t believe ruben won the poll with like one vote! thank you so much everyone who voted and this is the story you’ve been waiting for, this is more like a prologue and make sure to give any opinions about the story to help me carry on💖

————

pairing: Ruben Dias x Y/N

summary: falling for your best friend is a bad idea, everyone knows that but what if it’s too late?

genre: again, a bit of everything

————

This is a story of two best friends.

Ruben was your best friend in the world, he was the one you turned to whenever things went south and he did the same. He listened to your daily rants about from people on the streets to your secrets, your relationship was perfect. You even got a job at Manchester and took the offer just to be closer to him and he was so grateful about your sacrifice.

So when did it become complicated? 6 months ago you were just dumped by the guy you were seeing and were fed up about not finding the one. Ruben, being the best friend he is, drove to you after his game and gave you his opinion on the topic.

“I think you’re too high maintenance.” he said whilst stealing a spoonful of ice cream from your part. He was extremely careful with his diet but this was after a match so he didn’t care.

“Hey!” you said both for stealing your snack and saying you’re high maintenance. “I’m not” you said offended but he just laughed.

“No okay I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant you have your standards and you get frustrated when they aren’t met.” he shrugged, if this was any other day, you’d think about this but tonight you were in defence mode.

“You’re one to talk, you can’t even find someone to have 2 consecutive dates for months because ‘oh Y/N I don’t know, she’s nice but…’

Now it was his turn to get offended.

“I need someone who can handle my lifestyle. It’s not easy, you know.”

You didn’t know how this conversation turned into you being laid down on your back in his bed taking him while he whispered in your ear how good you were. This was the first time it happened, something that you feared would change your relationship permanently. You couldn’t even blame this on alcohol as Ruben hardly drank, it was just your instincts and needs. Things became awkward immediately and you didn’t know how to approach it. After a few days with no contact, you decided it was stupid and childish to avoid each other and called him.

He came over to your place to talk and you had agreed about this being a one time thing because if it escalated, it’d put you in a hard position. It was actually Ruben who said it and you couldn’t say no because it was the truth. Two best friends hooking up was not the smart thing to do.

However, your infatuation with your best friend didn’t stop there. In fact, it only grew stronger because now you paid attention to his every move and blushed when he held you. You tried to be strong but one night out with the girls made you crawl back to Ruben, you called him after the night slowed down and asked him to pick you up. You normally wouldn’t knowing his early practice sessions but you couldn’t help it and once you walked in his house you threw yourself at him. You actually weren’t black out drunk but decided to go for it anyway because if he pushed you away you could blame it on the alcohol but he didn’t push you or yell at you. He kissed you back immediately holding your waist and telling you to jump. You had your second mind blowing sex that night.

It continued like this for a while, you thought it’d just be sexual and maybe it could’ve worked. Casual sex as best friends with benefits but it had to feel normal, you were spending even more time together now and most of it was just hanging out and doing things you enjoy, nothing too crazy or romantic but one thing that changed was you cuddled which was one of the first times ever. Before this, you only cuddled when the other needed extreme support but now you were all over each other at any given minute. At least that’s what it was like up until Ruben left the country for a camp for a whole month. You kept in touch but it wasn’t all day every day and you just figured he was busy.

You were currently getting ready for one of your friends wedding and this was also the first time you were going to see Ruben after a long while. As you were touching up your make-up your best friend Elena came in.

“Hey” she said trying to be calming but she had on a weird look.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Heyy, are you Ruben’s plus one for the night?”

“What? No, I’m not, why?”

“Well, the planner just said there was a plus one in his invitation and I thought you’d get your own invitation but just wanted to double check.” she said nonchalantly but you froze for a moment before replying.

“Um, it’s not me. Maybe he’s bringing a friend.” you said confused about it but Elena was too occupied in herself to notice.

“You didn’t talk?”

“Nope, he’s been at a camp for a month.”

“Oh yeah” she said and went on talking about his relationship drama but you lost focus quickly.

Your confusion soon turned to shock when you finally saw who was Ruben’s plus one. It was Angela.

Angela was Ruben’s ex and she was a gorgeous girl, she was quite nice actually and she never had any problems with your closeness with Ruben which is all you can ask for your best friend’s girlfriend. At least it was until you hooked up with him. Now you didn’t know how you should feel although there was a little sting at your heart.

Your mind was racing with thoughts, this means that they’re back. Does she know, why hadn’t he said anything, how were you supposed to react? All this time you thought this was as innocent as it can get, just two best friends helping each other out but right now, you were questioning your feelings towards Ruben for the first time. You felt your stomach turn at the thought of him with Angela, but you quickly told yourself this was wrong. It was probably because the sex was out of this world and nothing else, it was just a stupid phase people go through and come out the other end stronger. Ruben was happy with Angela and apparently they found their way back to each other. As a best friend you should be happy about it and forget the newly found emptiness in your chest. This meant you had to step back immediately to let him be with the woman he actually loved. This was the right thing to do for both your sakes.

You realized you were stood there watching them for a while and decided to sneak out before they see you but just as you were turning around Ruben’s gaze found yours and every positive affirmation you gave yourself about not caring went out the window.

[itsmattchou]

like sweet chocolate ice cream !

pairing: seventeen maknae line x gn!reader warnings: probably profanity i swear too much, reader is implied to be shorter than mingyu, canon typical seungkwan violence in chans section, english isn't my first language!!! genre: fluff synopsis: just cute things the boys would do in a relationship! notes: started this thing in march and finally finished like a week ago. first post kinda nervous🥴 shoutout to my beautiful gf for helping me with this!💗

hyung line version

seokmin - has thousands of petnames for you. he knows you have a name. but calling you solely by your name is too boring for him- so he just resorts to petnames. but always using the same ones isn't good enough for him either, as no single petname alone could express his love for you perfectly. so he just uses every single one and switches them up every time: honey, baby, babe, darling, love, sweetheart, sunshine, pumpkin, flower, … you get the thrill. he calls you every pretty word he knows. will get offended if you don't switch up your petnames for him from time to time too.

mingyu - rests his head on yours. no matter how tall you are, there's a good chance he's still taller than you. and he absolutely loves loves LOVES it. he does that annoying thing tall people tend to do- purposely putting stuff you need on the highest shelf so you have to ask him to get it for you (he loves feeling needed)- but his favorite thing he can do because his height allows him to is resting his head on yours whenever he gives you a random back hug. and he does it every time he hugs you. and he hugs you all the time. your head isn't for you to use, it's just "mingyus headrest" at this point.

minghao - remembers everything you tell him about. whatever you're telling him, he is always 100% paying attention. whenever you ramble about something, may it be about a show you like, about the book you've read recently or just something that happened at work- he slurps up every piece of information as if he was dying of thirst. minghao thinks of you as one of the most important parts of his life, therefore he "should treasure everything about you, even your opinion on the sweater your boss wore today" (his words, not yours). you do find it endearing, of course you do, but it's still a bit creepy when he remembers stuff you can't even recall ever talking about…

vernon - only watches shows with you. he is your typical introverted, quality time as love language, chilled kinda guy. he enjoys simply existing next to you, he doesn't even need to talk to you. your presence next to him is already enough for him to be super happy- but he also knows it can get quite boring to do only that. so he just puts a show on for you two to watch! vernon refuses to watch a single episode without you and stops the second he sees you asleep next to him and 100% expects you to do the same thing whenever he falls asleep first. he's always on the lookout for new shows for the two of you to watch and has made a list for it. he really likes to call it "your thing".

seungkwan - is your personal hypeman. this man is simply so fun and precious. he loves when you talk to him about your day, your ideas, your worries, your everything- he also likes that he's able to do the exact same thing with you. but he not only listens, he also encourages you and hypes you up. for every little thing. you wore the green sweater today? AWESOME! you want to try a new lip tint? GO AHEAD! you show him lyrics you wrote? YOU SLAYED! karaoke night? YOU'RE BEYONCÉ! he's so proud of you and can't help but be your lil cheerleader boyfriend. he still gives you the "criminal offensive side eye" from time to time tho. nobody's safe.

chan - updates you on everything. there's nothing chan loves more than spending time with you. dates, cuddling or just silently enjoying each others presence: he's down for everything, as long as it means being with you. of course he can't spend every second of his life by your side (sobbing), so whenever he's not around you he resorts to texting you. "wonwoo hyung just sneezed" "seungkwan hyung just kicked hoshis kneecaps" "seungcheol hyung just told me to put my phone down" he updates you on everything that happened, doesn't even matter how important it is. also has that goofy smile on his face his hyungs make fun of him for whenever you text

[merci-bitch]

I need some headcanons with Olivia Benson 🤧

hi, been a while haha. Got lots of these I’m trying to work through, thank you all for being patient <3

It’s a bit long, whoops

gotta love Livy love

- Alright so

- You two weren’t meant to be a thing

- But as Noah says, “Fate!”

- He’s you biggest supporter

- You arrived a few months before Amanda, so you worked with the team when Elliot and Olivia were still partners

- Back then everything was alright and Olivia found you sweet

- After Elliot left and Amanda arrived, she despised you, like she despised Amanda

- Both you and Amanda kinda bonded over it

- You felt very out of place but Amanda kept you grounded and you grew close

- It wasn’t until much later Olivia started changing, becoming nicer towards you and Amanda, silently apologising for her behaviour

- You were there through everything like everyone else

- The WL time and when she found Noah

- Always offered to help her with Noah, and she was always grateful for it

- You two grew close over time and felt safe with each other

- The team is your family

- You two weren’t planned or even suspected to become a thing

- It happened after she and Tucker broke up

- You were with her one evening and it just happened

- A kiss

- The rest is history

- Noah is the one who convinced his mum to let you move in with them

- “Sleepovers every night!”

- She couldn’t possibly say no to his puppy eyes

- Or yours for that matter

- Olivia absolutely loves that you and Noah get along so well

- Before you moved in when you came over, you seemed far more interested in Noah than her

- She loved it

- Noah is a big part of her and his opinions matter as much as her own

- Time pass by and now you’ve been together more than two years

- Olivia is now captain

- And boy oh boy

- Olivia is a gentle lover

- The best of the best

- She’s got trauma and a lot of things going on

- But she’s so grateful to have someone who doesn’t question her feelings

- Someone who treats her like a normal person

- You were one of the only people to treat her normally after WL

- Not as someone who’s broken

- She’s comfortable and safe with you and for her that means everything

- She trusts you

- Which is a huge deal for her

- Specially after Elliot

- She’s the big spoon

- Even though sometimes she just wants to be held close

- Loves late nights with you

- And Noah of course

- Her beautiful boy

- He’s growing so fast

- Almost makes her cry

- Noah knows the story of when you first got to SVU, but he gets just as offended when you tell him how his mother suddenly stopped being nice

- How she despised you and auntie Amanda

-“Mom!”

- And as much as Liv scolds you for telling him the story over and over again, she sends you sneaked winks

- Small touches here and there

- Enough to keep you grounded

- No PDA

- But if it’s a late night, or empty office, she won’t say no for a quick kiss

- The slight panic in her whenever you’re hunting down suspects and she hears a gunshot and can’t see you anywhere

- You once got shot and Liv nearly killed you herself in worry

- You tried to make a joke out of it as you lay on the ground with her hands pressed against your wound

-“I’ve fallen for you, Benson”

- She hates your jokes

- Noah finds them funny, and apparently that’s the only thing that matters

- You and Noah always make little surprises for her

- On Christmas, Mother’s day and her birthday

- Flowers, cakes, drawings, anything

- It’s the cutest thing ever

- You really turned her life upside down, but for the better

- Liv Love Laugh

[hard-core-super-star]

Ngl, being able to edit things here is cool, other media don't have this option so all you have to do is delete or slowly die every time you remember that mistake🥲

WELL– in that case it would be really fun to see Yelena just being a big softie to reader and end up getting caught by her friends doing so, then everyone would make fun of her or something (it would probably be their last time making fun of something in their lives, poor souls.

I saw that you still have things to write, so no hurry (and good luck with all this-). Also, Your writing is really good so it will be good anyway, but I'm sure you'll get it!

passive-aggressive magic tricks [Y.Belova]

pairing: yelena belova x reader

summary: a fun game night with your friends takes a turn when they realize how much of a soft dork the russian turns into when she's around you.

warnings: none, i think [except peter being verbally attacked every other paragraph lmao]; so much dialogue; a weirdly written game of uno; just...so much chaos; never written for yelena before so feel free to yell at me if she's too ooc in this one

wordcount: 1.2k

a/n: this gif makes me feel things gonna start this off by saying that this is meant to be romantic but you can read it as platonic if you want. i know everyone has an opinion on yelena's sexuality and not everyone will agree with mine and that's okay! [just don't be a jerk about it. i personally think yelena is a demiromantic asexual so do with that what you will] ALSO, this is so chaotic and borderline nonsensical and you can blame 🌟 for making me think about yelena playing uno that one time. ALSO ALSO, thank you for the vote of confidence, lovely anon, this was actually really fun to write and i hope you enjoy <3

* * * * * * *

“This sucks,” Kate declares with a pout.

“Don’t be such a crybaby, Kate Bishop.” Yelena’s words only make the archer’s pout deepen which makes the whole situation feel even more ridiculous.

“Yeah, Kate,” you jump in. “You’re the one who started talking shit in the first place.”

An offended gasp escapes her lips at your accusation. “I wasn’t talking shit! I was being honest about my skills.”

This time, Peter cuts in before the blonde gets a chance to make fun of the archer again. “Guys, I thought we decided against Monopoly so we wouldn’t fight.”

“Fighting is Yelena’s love language,” you reply with a shrug.

You pretend not to notice the way the Russian’s lips quirk up into a small smile and instead focus on Kate and her awful decision-making skills. It takes her a few extra seconds and she still manages to choose the most annoying card in her hand.

“It took you two minutes to throw in a plus-four?” Peter questions, clearly doing his best to not sound judgemental.

“Shut up and take the cards, Pete.”

The boy grumbles something you don’t quite catch but Kate is quick to punch him in the arm, earning herself a kick to the shin. Their dynamic is certainly…interesting and you can’t stop yourself from wondering how much of it comes from being two only children attempting to one-up each other.

Yelena leans in toward you, pretending to whisper. “Why are we hanging out with them again?”

The pair clearly overhears her considering both the glare and the pout that gets thrown your way. You merely shrug in response, attempting to shield your cards from her expert gaze. “It’s…entertaining, I guess.”

“You guys are jerks,” Kate says, speaking the thoughts Peter is far too nice to vocalize. (It’s definitely not because he’s terrified of getting on Yelena’s bad side.)

“And you suck at Uno.”

She rolls her eyes at you but decides not to reply. The small moment of silence allows Peter to take his turn and the game continues…until Yelena decides to betray you.

You’re not fully paying attention to the strategies each one of your companions is forming which means you don’t realize it when they decide to team up against you.

You’re only four cards away from winning and the blonde beside you can’t stop herself from sneaking a look at your deck. Kate somehow manages to catch her in the act and the two stare each other down until the archer raises an eyebrow, silently asking to be a part of the Russian’s plan.

A plan that quickly leads to Kate placing down another plus-four card and Peter being thrown one of Yelena’s under the table. 

“We can stack, right?” He asks, mainly in an attempt to keep you from noticing what they’re doing.

“Yeah, that’s fine,” you reply with a shrug. “Just don’t be surprised when Yelena pulls out a knife from her boot.”

The joke gets a few chuckles, and a slightly concerned look from the young Avenger. 

“Do not worry, Spider-Boy, I promised y/n I wouldn’t threaten you…again.”

“Right…” Peter’s clearly not convinced but he throws in his card anyway.

You turn to face Yelena with a smug smirk. “Sorry, babe, but it looks like I’m on my way to winning this round.”

“You sound like Kate Bishop.” She playfully rolls her eyes at you but the glint in her eyes shows off more amusement than annoyance. “I hope you handle losing better than she does, though.”

“Hey!” You and the archer both voice your protests, albeit for different reasons, as the blonde slams down the last plus-four card needed to ensure you won’t win any time soon.

This time around, she’s the one who looks at you with a smug grin but you’re too busy being dramatic to fully appreciate how good she looks when she’s being competitive. It’s genuinely just a stupid card game and yet you pull out all the tricks you’ve learned over the past few months to get the Russian to melt into the huge softie she is at heart.

“Oh, come on, that was mean.” You pull on your best impression of Kate’s wounded puppy dog look. A look that includes slightly wide eyes and an incredibly deep pout.

A pout Yelena has never been good at resisting. (But only when it comes to you, much to the archer’s dismay)

She, literally and figuratively, keeps her cards close to her chest but you catch the way her free hand twitches slightly, almost as if she’s fighting to keep herself from touching you. It’s strange how affectionate she wants to be with you when she’s always been the first to pull away from a hug, the first one to scoot away when someone sits too close. 

Being guarded had always felt like second nature to her until you came along.

Her hand reaches out before she can stop it, landing on your knee and giving it a soft yet reassuring squeeze. It's a subtle reminder that underneath all her sarcasm and the rough edges, she cares about you. A lot more than she ever thought herself capable of.

“It’s just a game, sweetheart.” The words are a mere whisper but somehow the person with the worst attention span you’ve ever seen manages to overhear them.

“Did you just call y/n ‘sweetheart’?” Kate blurts out, clearly far too shocked to worry about her safety. “You actually have feelings?”

“Wait, did she really say that?” Peter’s slightly more cautious but there’s both awe in curiosity shining in his brown eyes.

“I heard her!”

“I think you hit your head too hard on your last mission, Bishop,” you reply, trying to steer the conversation away the second Yelena starts glaring at your friends.

Despite all her other skills, Kate is still awful at reading the room so instead of accepting the safety you’re offering, she decides to be stubborn like always. “Don’t lie to me, y/n, I know what I heard. Yelena’s just a big-”

“A big what?” The blonde cuts in with the most threatening glare she can manage. Which, considering she’s an ex-assassin, is quite effective at shutting the archer up.

“Um…” You can practically see the wheels spinning in the brunette’s head as she tries to come up with something different to say. She clearly fails based on the words that come out. “A big softie..?”

“Oh, Kate,” you sigh. “You’re never going to learn to stop poking the bear, huh?”

“What do you mean?” 

Her confusion lasts for about a second before Yelena shoots up from the couch and lunges toward her. The archer gets the message pretty quickly after that, expertly ducking out of the way and taking off running in the direction of the bathroom.

All you can do is laugh and shake your head as the Russian chases after her. “Go easy on her, babe!”

“Yeah, Yelena, listen to your girlfriend!”

“Kate!” You and the Russian yell out at the same time, leading to a fit of giggles belonging to the biggest instigator you've ever met.

"So much for a chill game night," Peter mumbles, placing his cards onto the coffee table. "You're gonna go help Kate out, right?"

You shrug. "I'll think about it."

[thrashkink-coven]

An honest post about demons

I constantly see so many posts on this site from people who work with infernals trying to attest to their “true nature” or debunk myths, while on the other hand I see another crowd trying desperately to warn others about how dangerous infernal work can really be. So what’s the truth?

First and foremost, stop assuming that the word “demon” means anything to any species besides humans. I can almost guarantee that the demons that we refer to as demons do not self identify themselves as “demons”. These are human terms. Stop assuming that “demon” is a species of “thing”, that all demons are the same, come from the same places, or look, act, or function the same. Even among set groups of defined spirits like the goetia, the diversity among the types of spirits listed is immense.

Context is your best friend. Let me be the first to tell you that the demonolatry world is extremely problematic. Remember that when we speak about goetic demons, we are speaking on archetypes defined by religious leaders and men with power. Do I honestly believe there is a hierarchy in Hell that mirrors the systems of supremacy we have here in our human society? I highly doubt it. The metaphor is useful to make sense of something that is otherwise inexplicable, but it’s essential to constantly be aware that these diagrams and ideas are inherently biased and skewed. When we define what makes something “evil” or demonic, we need to be even more hyper aware of our silent biases, lest we accidentally lend ourselves to fascism.

Will the demons hurt you?

No one can answer that question for you. Anyone who attempts to will only be speaking in half truths. So often I see people trying to project their personal experiences and assume that things will go similarly for others as it did for them.

“If you don’t offend them they won’t hurt you”

Perhaps not, although, if you are constantly dealing with a demon of pestilence and disease you might find yourself feeling a bit sickly. If you’re in close proximity to a demon who is all about rage and violence, you might accidentally redirect that rage onto an innocent friend. If you are very sex averted, dealing with a demon of lust might make you uncomfortable.

“They won’t hurt you, they love you!”

Some of them don’t love you, in fact most of them don’t have much of an opinion about you in general. As much as it’s a nice thought, the vast majority of demons do not have any inherent feelings towards anyone unless they have a relationship with them based on memories and shared respect. I have a deeply affectionate relationship with Lord Lucifer, but I speak with him nearly every day. I would be surprised to hear that Lilith or Azazel “loves” me any more than a spider or a patch of grass does. Not every demon you encounter on your journey will be your best friend. You will not work with most of them more than once, and it is completely fine if your relationship is only transactional.

The truth of the matter is that no one can predict how your spirit is going to interact with another. I have never had any positive interactions with Balial, I don’t feel anything comforting about them. But I have spoken to many devotees that say they’re incredibly kind. Likewise, I have never had a negative interaction with Lucifer, and I’ve spoken to many people who got a very mean vibe from him right away. If you do things to dishonour your demons, they may retaliate, they may not. They may not think anything of it, or they might, we can’t really speak on these things without proper context. To ask if a demon can hurt you is already a slight red flag to me. Obviously being cautious is important, but it’s almost like entering a kitchen and immediately asking if fire can hurt you. “Will the knives cut me?” Well… perhaps…? If you misuse them and aren’t being aware of yourself and your surroundings when you have them close to you… then sure, I suppose they could cut you, although I have never had much trouble with it before it’s definitely not out of the question. However, is that your first thought whenever you use a knife? If it is, why is that?

Will the demons be nice to you?

A hot stove isn’t being mean to you when you feel it’s heat on your skin, nor is a fridge being nice to you when it cools your drink. Different demons have different types of people that they really like, and they probably have people they don’t favour as well. As much as they are capable of having their own emotions, you also need to be considerate of their nature. Intention truly is not everything.

Can you truly be surprised when a demon who is extremely involved in chaos and fury is a little forceful with his words? Does the idea of a death demon being dark and cryptic, or a warrior being stern and strict scare you?

When I call upon the demon of savagery and war, I want the demon of savagery and war. I cannot be surprised that he brings savagery and war, if that’s not what I’m prepared for, I should not have invoked his name.

Lucifer is both a gorgeous, ethereal beautiful angel who plays excellent music and brings enlightenment, and a terrible, egotistical, stubborn harbinger of knowledge that can be dangerous and destructive. Lilith is both a powerful protector and champion of self actualization, and a rageful poisonous monster who uses her power to manipulate others. This is the truth for all of these demons. If you cannot understand the dual nature of these spirits, then you may think they are mean and evil. And if you’ve only ever seen the nice side of your demon, you’ll be confused when others explain their negative interactions with them.

Will they try to possess you? Can they possess you?

Whether or not possession as it is portrayed in Hollywood is real or not, I cannot say for sure. What I can say is that in every situation where I have been in proximity to someone who thinks they may be possessed, the more likely explanation seemed to be religious or spiritual psychosis.

Mania is still a thing, guys. Hallucinations are still a real thing that can happen to you. Obsession can happen to anyone, paranoia can happen to anyone. You are not immune to mental illness. In fact it is far easier to succumb to it than possession. Constantly obsessing over a demon still gives them the energy they might want had they been messing with you. It is important for us to protect our spiritual health. But it is infinitely more important to protect your mental health. If you’re genuinely afraid that you’ve gotten yourself into some bad business with a demon, I highly encourage you to heal your mind first and foremost.

Lastly, and I want to make this as clear as possible, there truly are no rules or limits with demons. That is your responsibility.

I’ve seen people say that demons won’t take blood as an offering if you’re a minor or that they would never do something harmful to someone just because you asked them to.

Morality is a human concern. Yes, many demons do have somewhat of a moral code, but that code is not based on human ideals. A demon does not care what the legal age of consent is in your country. They don’t care if what you want them to do is mean or destructive. If you’re open to murder and manipulation and cruelty, it isn’t your demon’s job to step in and stop you. If you’re strictly against blood rituals and baneful magic, it isn’t your demon’s job or concern to pressure you towards doing those things. You are the one that establishes these limits, not them.

“The demons protect all children! The demons love all women! The demons would never work with someone who’s racist or homophobic!”

Trust me, as much as I’d like to believe it, these things simply are not true. I am very aware that Lucifer has worked with homophobes and racists in the past. Lilith has probably helped out a few TERFS. It doesn’t change my opinions on them because they’re not human beings. My personal Lucifer that I have a relationship with doesn’t tolerate these things because I don’t tolerate these things. Anyone who does could not work with my Lucifer (remember, there are many different Lucifer) But I’m not going to pretend that there isn’t a Lucifer that does, or simply doesn’t care. You can use a knife to hurt others, but you can also use it to make a piece of art or a healthy meal that helps others. Stop assuming that the knife is only going to do good things and reject anyone who doesn’t align with your ideals. And likewise, there’s no need to project your ideals onto the knife in the first place. The knife is a good tool when it’s in good hands.

Tldr, just be smart, guys.

[lucky-punk-lemonade]

Faith and Similar Revelations

| Stiles doesn’t know about religion, but he knows where his faith is. [Established relationship; college relationship, implied smut MDNI 18+, acts of worship/body worship, religious subject matter] Stiles Stilinski (College!Stiles) Very much Sailor Song by Gigi Perez, but IB other Hozier songs obviously

Disclaimer!! This is not meant to offend religious people or to disparage religion. All religions, your opinions, and your beliefs are valid here.

This work belongs to me, lucky-punk-lemonade (Minte_Condition on AO3). I do not give anyone permission to distribute or share my work without consent.

Stiles worships your body. Not in a blatant way, though. He’ll zone out and hyper-focus on your stomach while he presses messy, open-mouthed kisses to your navel. His eyelids get heavy in that love-drunk way as he kisses your thighs and up your rib cage, up toward your chest. Even when you’re arching off the bed, writhing in pleasure, messy and babbling, he’s brushing your hair up so he can see your pretty face. He’s studied so many religions alongside the supernatural, enjoying the perspective on them but not the insight gained through understanding. This helps him understand. The way your muscles contracted and your eyebrows furrowed. It was reverent, the way he cut the focus on his own pleasure so he could watch you shine. In a mortal way, you grabbed needily at the sheets and cursed, but in a way he never thought he’d witness in a college dorm; you smiled warmly with your eyes closed as he pulled your hips to his again and held your head up so he could keep admiring you, nothing short of praying to you.

He was so in over his head, he was so inexperienced, but you gave him a righteous grace in the way you moaned his name like he was doing something right, something good. Something worthy of that divine way your fingers played with his hair and your mouth kissed at his neck. And you let him. What he understood from his research, what always tied into the supernatural, was the humanity given to what people glorified. Compassion and beauty were human traits given to these beings. With every sign that you were human was more proof you were ethereal. He kissed you gratefully, content with never knowing if you were capable of bleeding like he bled. And it’s not like Stiles didn’t think you were human, but it was so far out of his mind when his fingers messily traced your lips, and you kissed him. Like a real person, but magnifying what it meant. It might’ve been delusion that took over when he’d murmur praises. How you were so sweet and right and merciful and…

You came in with that special kind of sanctitude. You were somehow human, somehow supernatural, and he understood how this had changed his mind. Regardless of religion, you’d made him better- happier-  and he was going to be deserving. Devout. It felt like a privilege when you’d kiss him, and his breathing would get shallow like he’d break down crying from how much love and devotion he felt from it. It felt like you’d bless him in that sweet way, and you’d praise him for simple actions as your eyes fluttered. When you said his name, it was gratifying. It was a novelty, the way you clung to him even minutes after you'd stopped shaking from his veneration, whining, and fawning.

You’d go half-limp because you knew he’d hold you up. And there he was holding you, saying, “C’mon, sweetheart. Gotta stay up f’me, let me see you.” In the only tone worthy of how pretty you looked, lolling your head with that exhausted grin. He’d use that time to focus on his hands firmly cupping your waist. Flesh and blood that he could hold and feel. He’d continue his ramblings, kneading at your hips distractedly as his eyes roamed indebtedly. He’d desperately repeat phrases like "Thank you, sweetheart” and “I love you, you’re so good to me” until the pieces got stuck in his teeth, all while you were slowly deflating to a comfortable position by his side. As luck would have it, you succumb to the same constraints he did. He’d listen when you’d breathe because when it fanned across his shoulder, he was reminded of what prevalent religions’ human’s first damning choice. How it was a choice, and then it was trust, and how he’d thank Eve for damning us all. Because if she had not, you might not have had the self-determination to choose him. While he didn’t know if religion was morally justified, he understood why so many people could put faith in the idea and how it created what we needed. A monster and a savior. Humans were never this simple, never good or bad. You had redefined the standard. You were the standard. Good and bad were mortal words, just like the traits of compassion and beauty. He would never figure out religion or the greater cause or why things came to be and how they’d end up, but he thanked Eve again for making the choice so, in some way, you had favored him. And you’d tell him he thinks too much when his mind is tired, and he’d tell you about his philosophy. But your hands were still in his hair, and he had found a light to fill his life with. The devoted looks didn’t stop when you started talking about your schedule and plans, and he saw no less divinity in your voice as it complained about classes and reminded him he had found this in a girl whose notes he had to borrow for a class he couldn’t stand.