#Steven Meth

[rosiespokemontwitterau]

Meth + Boilogy class :D.

[bananitryithegoatman]

[retro-system]

Sorry for ur loss

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER, REASONS WHY LUIGI WON THE WEIRD STRANGE GUY TOURNAMENT IN MY EYES:

he was the ideal host for an entity that had the power to destroy all of existence, despite very much not having any desire to do that.

he once broke a hospital clinic's ventilation system after breathing too hard into a spirometer.

he thought he was dead once and basically shrugged it off. he did not care.

he has not once, but twice been fooled into entering a haunted building with his brother under the ruse of winning a competition he never entered.

his sleeping pattern is so fucked up he can open portals.

he has disguised as peach and completely fooled the man who's obsessed with her into thinking he's her.

sometimes he can swim. sometimes he can't.

he once swam around an entire sea to find a key. in overalls. only allowing himself to rest once he found it. and it was the wrong key.

he once touched a cursed object because it was shiny, while it was in the hands of two cursed people.

he blushed after getting poked the ass multiple times by a sword (to be fair he was absolutely in love with the guy poking him).

this list is not exhaustive.

[sodium-bitch]

gemsonas are meant to be natural crystalline-esque materials. quartz, snowflake, bismuth are all examples from official SU. crystal meth is manmade, and more like glass. discus.

Shocking to me that there's such a fandom for Breaking Bad here on this website, full of people who found the moral nuance of Steven Universe to be unmanageable.

[foone]

Your best guess is that you've been in this time loop for something north of 15 years. You've lived that day, April 9th, 1997, something like 6000 times. You think... The second most ironic thing about being in this time loop* is that you have ADHD, and time blindness has always been something you've suffered with.

The time loop hasn't helped. You'll really get into a book, and don't look up from it until it's yesterday. Or, earlier today? Or tomorrow, it's all the same day. You wake up in your bed at 8:27, having slept through your alarm, no matter what happens. You've had plenty of time to do all the classic time loop things: told everyone (they forget the next day), kissed everyone (a surprising number of people turn out to be up for itl), tried to run (you made it all the way to Memphis one day, but it didn't make any difference), tried to make everything perfect and right (harder than you'd think, and there's nothing obvious that needs fixing), and gotten yourself exploded and shot and run over. You even made it into orbit once, NASA still swearing at you on the radio the whole way up. You've robbed all the local banks, kidnapped the mayor, and stolen half the stuff in the town, just to see what people have. Why not? It's hard to have a sense of morality when there are no repercussions to any actions, at least none that last more than 24 hours.

You convinced a scientist to shoot neutrinos at you once, thanks to something you'd read in a book on time. Didn't seem to make any difference, though you could swear the next day felt different, in some hard to define way.

You've gotten into a rhythm of starting each day and just walking out your front door, to visit a different place in the city, and knock on their door. If they're home, you ask questions, then use the answers next time to get further. If not, you let yourself in and see what their house looks like from the inside.

Even their shocking crimes no longer can shock you. Mr. Stevens is a burgler, Jenny J. is halfway through murdering her husband, Alex over on 5th street has a basement full of photos they shouldn't have, and more neighbors than you'd think are cooking meth or growing cannabis in their little backyard sheds or closets.

You can go to the police, you can confront them, you can explose them, or you can get a weapon and go all vigilante on them... It doesn't matter in the long run (and for you, the long run is very short indeed). They'll be fine the next morning, back at it again like nothing happened.

You wake up that same Wednesday morning, put on some clothes, and walk out the door. You got into a gimmick of crossing the road with your eyes closed: you know where the cars are, and if you keep the same pace, they definitely won't hit you. Besides, if you do, you wake up back in your bed. Big woop.

But you don't make it to the road this time. You trip, falling on the hard concrete of the sidewalk. What the hell? Your arms ache from catching yourself, and you have to suppress the time-looper instinct of "I hurt. Restart the loop!",at least until you figure out what happened.

You look back and there's a sneaker sitting on the sidewalk. A perfectly normal shoe, just a little skuffed up. A bit down the sidewalk, there's another, the other foot presumably.

You have a moment of equal parts panic and elation. You're out of the loop? You're out of the loop! This might be Thursday.

You gather yourself from the sidewalk and run back up the path to your door. You open the newspaper... April 9th. This is still the same day. You look back at the road, seeing the patterns of crossing cars you've seen thousands of times before. You listen, and your neighborhood sounds right. You can hear Timothy down the road yelling about baseball, so it's not 9:14 yet.

This isn't a new day. This is the day. This is your day. So why is something different? What, a partial time loop? And almost time loop? Most things are the same, but not all? It makes no sense.

You hear yelling down the road. You jog towards it, as an out of place sound just doesn't happen in your day. Around the corner there's a police officer shouting at a woman who is rapidly disrobing and flinging her discarded clothes at the officer, who is shouting at her and his radio. So far, she seems to be winning, but she's about out of linen ammunition.

You realize you don't recognize her. She's not one of the people you know, and you know everyone. She's someone new, the very anthesis of what a time loop is about. That, combined with recognizing that charicatistic disdain for consequences makes you gasp. My God... She's another time looper. She's done this day before, and it's just repeated, and now she's doing everything to see what happens. You're not alone in this crowded city anymore! You run towards her, eager to introduce yourself.

* Themost ironic thing about being in this time loop is that every copy of Groundhog Day at your local Blockbuster is checked out.

[bokunoheros]

ཐིཋྀ KINKTOBER - day 12 squirting : shouta aizawa/eraserhead

warnings : afab reader, reader and aizawa are married, y’all have a cat, pussy slapping (pun probably intended), this is doo-doo dog shit, like this actually sucks, doo doo fart ass, dookie, poo poo fart, smegma, this fic reads like what sharting yourself feels like, this fic smells like the family bathroom at walmart, we’re fucking twelve (not literally), don’t expect anything else genuinely, butt, pretend this was never posted, PLEASE, day 12 is NOT REAL, THEY HIT THE PENTAGON— MR PRESIDENT GET DOW— bill gates did it, bill cypher is canon, squirting, fingering idk, eating ass, butthole rimming, 2024 election, ellen digestive did 9/11, Trump x Biden, 9/11, hilary emails included, proof of aliens existence, video footage of the area 51 raid, UFOs, alien butt sex, wrong usage of condoms, anal probing, biological dna harboring, sickle cell anemia, KLANCE is canon, Steven universe, major character death, gem fusions, love children, feel like cinderella naega byeonhae, NETFLIX ORIGIONAL, only on Hulu, Elsa x Jackfrost smut, playdough, me x YOU, tiana x nanami au, your mom x me, sarcamouche x kazuha, xiao x venti, improper use of crack cocaine, making herion, mentions of drug mules, dead dove: do eat, improper use of magic, meth making, cocaine balloons bursting, Harry Potter x Snape, hermoine x the whomping willow, herobrine x steve, unfortunate uses of pixels, bakudeku slime, hnnng harder daddy, mmhppgh— yeah yeah right there, cum consumption, cumflation, feeder fetish, oh yeah, koolaid man x me, very improper use of koolaid packets, nickacaco avocado weight loss journey, apology videos (tears included), , banjos, jake paul dcead body in forest footage (NOT CLICKBAIT), live leak posts, webtoon origional, anal stretching, did you know the human anus can stretch to the size of a raccoon?, now you know that, and also, the sun will explode June 17th, 3028, character flaws, bodily anatomy, your balls will explode on october 21st at 7:99am, my gleeby deeby ass, futurama, Micheal Angelo, improper use of abortions, medical surgery on a grape, plastic surgery, baby killing, tampon usage, description of endangered animal poaching, Mario Kart, tuberculosis, ima get it donnnne oh aye oh aye oh, butt stuff, dazai x chuuya, atsushi x akutagawa, mpreg, mad cow disease, omegaverse, ranpo x me, Dream SMP, matpat x scott cowthan, michael afton x freddy fazbear, aggressive typing, bath salts, bath salt inhalation, whippets, galaxy gas, all might is a bottom, skinny men, carrington x shigaraki, anorexia anorexia anorexia, afo x nana shimura, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, TW gun law debates, tenko x mon, Amazon delivery, school shootings, talk of gun laws, bad dragon toys, silicon, aoyama belly button leaking, lego ninjago r34, ninja turtles r34, bloody mary r34, kamala harris r34, tenya iida x tensei iida, jesus x judas, luigi x bowser, sonic and shadow makeout sesh, i fuck your dad, suck his dick reallll nice, penis sounding with dirty twig, orgasm denial, overstimulation, xenotransplants, oviposition, diaper Taco Bell, people die, revival, dark magic, ecoterrorism, global warming, chemical warfare, wanda x the winter soldier, haruhi x tamaki suoh, cosmo x wanda, comicon, bronies, pegasisters, mentions of twilight sparkle dying, twiilight sparkle x mordecai, air planes, shootings stars, night skies, NLE Choppa, we could really use a wish bro, TuPac is back, floppa carts: plompy haze, death of a platform known as tumblr, twitter referred to as X, elon musk creates sex robot that specializes in butthole sex, Tesla sex robot, androids that FUCK, necrophilia, android phone usage, pheromones, premonitions and words of Jesus, divine intution, potion making, heavenly visions, satan, satanic visions, the heavenly principles, celestia is above mondstadt, spiritual healing, veganism, white washing, canon hispanic hanta sero, futanari, blasian mina ashido, bovine spongiforms, Tenya Iida virginity loss, bakugo is a fucking faggot, handjobs, footjobs, peaceful protests, the government is controlling you through vaccines, asian fishing,

vaccines might cause autism, freshwater fishing, they will, xenophobia, hentai hucows, incest, usage of slurs, starbucks coffee, lizards run the world, obama might be a lizard, inappropriate use of baby oil, gojo x getou, day twelve never existed and it was all a lie.

word count : 420k words and 69 pages

🐙 note : we are not locked in we are as loose as a ran through sorority president

🦊 note : i am. i have no words. idek what happened. we ran out of time so we went with the option we thought might make people giggle (no we didnt we did this bullshit for ourselves)(your regularly scheduled content will resume tmr!)

🪲 note : i ain’t fucking sorry

you adored your husband—shouta aizawa—so much so, that you were his dedicated housewife. he made plenty of money as a pro hero and… enough… as a teacher, so that left you to take care of the house and your shared cat. though when he did come home he was way different than he was at work, usually at work he was all nonchalant and cold but at home he was sweet and caring, sometimes even a bit rough. his students would definitely describe him as laid back and uninterested, yet when you were around they were in awe of his personality shift.

[duffslut]

On the tour bus

Steven Adler x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 987

Warnings: Smut! Minors Dni.

Taglist: @guns-n-roses-gal @a4tumnvenice @used-to-love-her-06 @changbinsdummythiccahrms @guitarsfan @em-21 @their80smichelle @svrgs-blog @rocketttqueennn @wiifitboard @unknownperson246 @fxcethestrange @lovergirl4slash @rottoneggs01 @metallical0ver @brunette-barbie4562 @appetiteforattitude @prettypersuasion @gyaas @nenynra @brezeblog @damianodavds @ch3rry-earrings @1-800-meth-blog @hauntedrosie @inkieink @blinca

Another night on the tour bus, at least this new one had beds in it, bunk beds, not very comfortable, but still, better than just seats. Most of the boys were already passed out on their beds after getting way too drunk earlier at a random bar we had stopped at to eat, but some, like Steven, who didn't get knocked out easily by drinking because he always used something else... Was still awake. And bored.

You had also been drinking, quite a bit, in fact, the boys had to drag you out of the bar before you started a striptease on the pool table, so Steven talking non-stop while you were trying to sleep was starting to give you a headache.

- Go to sleep Steven! - You said, giving him a light push on the back, as he was sitting on the edge of your mattress.

- I can't sleep! - He complained, shaking his head.

You looked at him, his blond hair was all messy and his pupils were dilated, something about his naturally pink and wet lips bewitched you for a minute, or maybe it was the alcohol in your blood, but suddenly he just seemed really attractive, not that he wasn't always, but at that moment, sitting on your bed in his ripped jeans and a white tank top, he was just incredibly fucking hot.

- Why are you looking at me like that? - Steven asked, displaying his perfect smile on his lips.

- It's nothing. - You changed the subject, adjusting the thin sheet over your body.

- Are you sure? Because you've been looking at me like that all day. - He said convinced.

You rolled your eyes holding back a smile, so he had noticed... You did have a crush on him, being with the band for so long only made your feelings more and more obvious.

You were about to adjust your body on the bed again, feeling the tension of the conversation heat up your body when Steven held your wrists firmly and approached you, bringing his face so close to yours that your lips almost touched, his blue eyes looked into yours, as if asking for permission to finally kiss you, and you gave it. The kiss started calm and soft, you slowly surrendered to his touch, enjoying the way his lips fit perfectly against yours. Soon his body got closer to yours and his tongue went deeper into your mouth as you slid your hand over his hairy chest, Steven's hand slid surreptitiously over your embarrassingly wet panties and you almost let him, but you gently pushed it away.

You ended the kiss breathing heavily and with your forehead dripping with sweat, fighting the urge to fuck him immediately.

- We shouldn't do this. - You said quietly, afraid of waking someone up. - We're drunk.

You wanted him and you knew he wanted you too, but not like that, your head was still spinning from the alcohol, and Axl and Izzy were sleeping just a few feet away from you, you could hold on a little longer... Right?

- Are you sure? - Steven asked. - You're so wet. - He whispered.

Steven touched your panties again under the sheets and began to rub your clit through the fabric, you bit your lip hard, letting out a moan when you noticed his cock hardening beneath his pants as he stroked your pussy. You almost got carried away, kissing him again and holding his hard cock.

- No, no. - You broke the kiss again. - We can do this tomorrow. - You said trying to convince Steven and yourself. - We can go to a hotel and be alone for a while.

Steven got up from the bed with a huge bulge in his pants and kissed your forehead.

- Okay. - He said and walked to his bunk, throwing his body onto the mattress.

You fell asleep in a few minutes, thanks to the alcohol you didn't have to "finish the job" alone, sleep spoke louder. Steven, on the other hand, had not been able to fall asleep.

Hours later, with little time left until dawn, he couldn't take it anymore. He walked silently to your bed and carefully got under the sheets, getting between your legs. The alcohol had already left your body and you were sleeping peacefully, your legs were carefully parted and Steven ran his thumb over your panties, not a movement from you, so he set about removing it, sliding it down your legs and leaving it on one side of the bed.

Now with your pussy completely exposed to him, he could finally shove his face between your legs and start sucking you. It still took a few minutes for you to wake up, but when you did, you woke up with a moan of pleasure, with Steven's tongue sliding up and down your pussy, dripping wet. You didn't even think about stopping him, you were almost close to cumming so you just held his hair, forcing him to keep sucking your cunt, his hands held your thigh tightly and you had small tremors as he distributed kisses on your clit and licked your vulva, sticking his tongue in your hole making you forget about the other people on the bus and moan like a bitch.

You covered your head with the sheet, keeping eye contact with Steven as you came in his mouth, moaning and muttering curses, Steven cleaned you completely, swallowing your cum almost making you have another orgasm licking your pussy clean. When he finished he got out from under the blanket and you also removed it from your head, only to find Izzy, Duff, Slash and Axl with their arms crossed near the bed, with sleepy, grumpy faces.

- You guys will never sleep on the bus with us again. - Duff said, throwing a pillow on your bed and staggering back to his.

- For fuck's sake Steven you can't be that good. - Slash grunted.

Well, he is.

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I was watching Breaking Bad and Steven Universe was a main character and any time they had to do something morally wrong like cook meth, he would just break down into tears.

[thenightfolknetwork]

Hello,

I’ve found myself entangled in a bit of a situation, and I’m hoping you can help me make a decision.

I am what is known as a boroboroton. I am, specifically, a twin sized pale coral futon, of quality make with silk innards, if you can believe it. I’m not a full set, I’m ashamed to say- lost my mattress - but I get by. I manifested some fifty years ago (roundabout the time of my mattress’s loss) and since then have changed owners a handful of times.

I like to learn new places thoroughly so I don’t often smother my sleepers right off, but I was getting bored and there was a shop down the street that did second hand and my owner was getting on in age, you know how these things go.

Anyway! Once I was in the shop I was purchased by a young man from the United States. It’s been quite the exciting move, to be honest- I don’t get slept on nearly as much as I used to save for the family cat, but I do get used for television and games, so I’ve come up to date on all sorts of media, and I’ve even gone outside for a picnic! It was lovely.

None of that’s why I’m writing, though. My new sleeper is, as I said, a young man. He was in Japan for a religious trip, a- a mission. He was a missionary, from- I believe they’re called Mormons? And to each his own and all that you have to take a long view of things when you’re half a sentient futon with a bent for murder, but I don’t think it’s good for him.

See, he keeps looking up information about leaving, and then deleting the searches. There’s another person who messages him often and I think it might be his lover. His lover’s name is Steven, which I am certain that these Mormons- and more importantly his parents- would not approve of. They keep making noise about sacred duties and marriage and temple sealing and someone named- Crystabeth? Crystal Meth? I can’t quite tell, I learned English rather on the fly.

It would of course be much easier for my sleeper to leave a religion that no longer fulfills him if his parents were out of the way and it wouldn’t be hard, just a nights’ work. I might be sold again or put in an attic but I have my ways and I’m an adventurous sort. Only I’d hate to interrupt all the researching he’s doing.

I could smother him, then he wouldn’t need to worry about what might happen if he left, but where would that leave Steven? Steven sends the loveliest late night texts.

Is it any of my business? Do I just let it lie? He’s been a good sleeper, brought me across a whole ocean AND looked up the best way to keep me clean! I hate that he’s so miserable.

For what it's worth, I think you're quite right in your assertion that your owner would be better off out from the clutches of people who are stifling his sexuality and pushing him to place duty to their church over his own freedom.

There is a reason many people consider Mormons to be a cult. They are a high-control group which expects – and enforces – an unhealthy degree of power over their members, using the threat of ostracisation and punishment to curtail their liberty. I'm not at all sure I would apply the otherwise admirable sentiment of “to each their own” to such a group.

With that said, I'm afraid I can't agree that leaving the church would necessarily be easier for your owner if his parents were to suffer some kind of tragic, nocturnal “accident”. Rather, I worry such an emotional blow would in fact leave him more vulnerable, and give others in the church leverage to use against him – the phrase “it's what they would have wanted” looms darkly upon the horizon.

Your suggestion of smothering your owner himself is also rather wanting in nuance. The goal here is to support him to make his own choices, not to remove the question of choice altogether. I can't help but wonder if your perspective might be a little limited by your form. To a man with a hammer, everything's a nail. To a sentient murder futon, everything's a potential futon murder.

Fortunately, it sounds as if he might be well on the way to making this difficult decision for himself – which is, after all, the only way this change can come about. If he's already doing his own research about leaving the church, and developing a support network separate from his church contacts, then it seems only a matter of time before he takes the plunge and leaves for good.

I'm afraid there's not much you can do right now to help him come to that point any faster. He needs to find his own path, and to find it in his own time. The best thing you can do for him right now is offer him just what you've always offered – a safe, supportive place where he can take a breath, research his options, and relax. The rest – so to speak – is up to him.

[For more creaturely advice, check out Monstrous Agonies on your podcast platform of choice, or visit monstrousproductions.org for more info]

[ninebaalart]

Crystal (Meth) Gems

im pretty proud of the background for this one. this is sort of a revisit to a bunch of steven universe concepts ive previously done (goth pearl, amputee peridot), just having fun with sprucing them up as a trio

[playboivamp]

Hey dude. Letting you know that someone in the queer platonic group chat (the one you left after Kai's alter made aome acephobic comments, which he later apologized for btw :/) said they found receipts on your twitter of you liking a Stoneheart Sugilite tweet which is really... yikes. Also Rainbow said you were tweeting on ur Steven universe roleplay account that you were gonna rewatch alta which is like a really transphobic and racist and sexist show and you know how Ash feels about even if they won't say anything about it bc of their anxiety..., idk dude I just wanted to let you know. I know Ash can be biphobic sometimes but they also live in an apartment and their parents are divorced so they have ptsd from it :// I think Ash might write a callout but me and Rainbow are trying to calm them down just be aware and maybe stop being toxic

OH NO 😭😭😭😭

anyway columbine carcass

[teal-sharky]

I've finished Steven Universe Movie after watching all of the original show for the first time over the course of last three months and now you have to suffer my brain gunk release in this form of the post.

Firstly I want to be clear, I said it two episodes in and after the entire show, my stance hasn't changed; Steven Universe should die. I hate that rat bastard. Worst part of the good show. Yes it says things about me. Yes the things that it says about me are probably intense goddamn personal projection and inability to forgive myself, shut the fuck up. Didn't ask.

Lot of people really miss out on solid goddamn, highly imaginative and original sci-fi for all the touchy feely shit. I'm pretty convinced that people like F. Pohl and C.Clarke would have been stoked. They'd have loved it. This shit has some real golden era scifi vibes in it, including how aggressive it is in using sci-fi to talk about feelings and thoughts people are often not ready to digest in purely realistic context. Good shit.

Peridot is the best gem. If you disagree you're fucking stupid. Fuck you.

I was serious though, Steven really should have died. Lars should have died harder too. My wife gaslit me for like two months about how "lars is actually going to die". I was so fucking angry when he didn't die permanently. Worst thing you've ever done to me, Teagan. This is the kind of a thing that will burden our relationship for decades. It will take a lot of healing to overcome this.

Garnet should be my mom imho.

Can't believe Jasper caught syphilis from fucking a dog.

Hereby I pitch a sequel videogame to round out the future of the galaxy;

An epic RPG set post Steven's untimely death (suicide by jackhammer).

In the ensuring power vacuum the need for new fourth diamond is felt, and various parties race to shape the fate of the universe. The possible true ending options are;

Greg and Pearl succeed creating Crack Cocaine. Gem empire's ensuring frenzy proceeds to destroy all organic life in the universe.

Amethyst and Lars succeed creating Crystal Meth. Gem empire's ensuring frenzy proceeds to destroy all gem life, organic life is preserved.

Peridot and Sadie create Rock Dab, gems learn to live in harmony with organics, with organo-gemic hybrids like Steven becoming common.

Devolver Digital, email me, all I'm asking for is funds for team of 10 for 24 months with demo available in 6 after we're given an office. It'll be a rogue-lite with variable gameplay style and narrative vibe somewhere between LISA and Undertale.

[lotusthekat]

[IDs: Black and white digital sketches of Steven and Lars reenacting two Breaking Bad memes.

1) Steven is kneeling down next to Lars, who sits on the ground, to ask him, "What does the blowfish do, Lars?", his arms wide to imitate said fish. Lars only raises an eyebrow at Steven, bearing an exhausted expression. Lars is wearing the Halloween pumpkin t-shirt Jesse wears in the original scene

The second and third drawings work together as a two-panel comic, where Steven and Lars are in a diner.

2) Lars, while he eats, recites the entire Breaking Bad Remix (Seasons 3-5).

3) Steven, frowning, asks, "Lars what the fuck are you talking about" /End ID]

Lars we need to cook in my dad's van so we can join the Crystal Meths Lars

(this might be one of the worst things I've ever drawn)

BrBa remix for an immersive experience

DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

Don't tag as ship.

[galaxywarp]

Hey blue, watching videos of people smoking meth would not be a good idea right now. What are some things you enjoy that you could watch videos of instead? There are always cats, of course. I don't know if you do video essays but there are lots of em out there about roller coasters! Steven universe animatics are fun. For now, here's some cat pictures from me to you (Caspian, Milo, and Chainsaw in that order) <3

💖💖💖 thanks for sending this when I needed it

[crustyweirdo]

smash or pass but it‘s pretty much the entire BrBa cast and i‘m adding my weird headcanons (queer edition)

please don’t take this too seriously, these are my preferences and most of the headcanons are obviously jokes. 18+ please!!

Walter White: hell nooo he worked with n*zis and wears those tighty whities. definitely needs pills to get it up

Saul Goodman: smash, i feel like he‘d call me mommy. minus points bc he‘d make dad jokes during it.

Jesse Pinkman: 1000% SMASH HES SO FINE!! would smoke in bed with me after. i feel like he has piercings down there too, don’t ask why. definitely whimpers

Skyler White: had to think abt it a little but i‘d smash, misunderstood queen. lots of aftercare too

Hank Schrader: hard pass. he‘s a cop and has the personality of a paper bag.

Gus Fring: sure! more of a hookup though because i can’t imagine him being kind and gentle. he‘d say no cuz he‘s gay fr

Mike Ehrmantraut: probably not what you guys wanna hear, but smash. call it a guilty pleasure, ik that guy has experience. would focus on my needs first. i‘d do it in his car

Jane Margolis: yes omg are you kidding?! her style is everything and she’s genuinely so hot, i‘d gay panic being in the same room as her. definitely uses toys

Walter Jr: pass, too young for me and i don’t find him that attractive

Marie Schrader: smash! she‘s genuinely so sweet and pretty, perfect balance. hank didn’t deserve her

Todd, Jack and co: hardest pass, i don’t think i have to explain why. would go on about how women don’t deserve rights when they’re on top of me

Tuco Salamanca: no, he scares me. probably into knife play or some weird shit

Skinny Pete: yes! he‘s an acquired taste guys

Badger: probably? this is a hard one, smash if i got paid like 50 bucks. for free if it‘s with pete. but i‘d definitely go on a date with him

Steven Gomez: pass bc he‘s a cop. if i had to choose between him or hank i‘d choose him any day tho

Hector Salamanca: pass, no disrespect. rip Mark

Lydia Rodarte-Quayle: i‘m anxious 24/7 so her nervous attitude would make it impossible for me to enjoy it. she‘d accidentally insult me during it in some way

Gale Boetticher: smash because i love his personality. he‘s a keeper, husband material. lasts 2 minutes :(

Combo Ortega: pass i like him but not like that fr

Ted Beneke: hard pass. wouldn’t shut up abt his stupid company for five minutes. he makes really weird sounds during it and asks if you came right after (u didn’t)

Eyebrow Guy: i like hair but not like that

Andrea Cantillo: yesss baby bring it on. easily one of the pretties characters. sadly her personality wasn’t shaped out well in the show

Gretchen Schwartz: i feel like she‘s too smart for me don’t ask why. would absolutely reject me

Elliot Schwartz: maybe if he wears a hat to hide those big ass ears. i‘d do it if he paid me tho

Wendy (blonde meth head): seems very sweet and i love her style but i‘m a fan of hygiene and her teeth are not it

Carmen Molina (principal): yeah i guess, she‘s pretty

Huell & Kuby: pass bc they‘re silly little guys. only come package deal

Donald Margolis: sad guy but seems very sweet. smash? he cries when he finishes

Salamanca Twins: probably never had sex ed, lots of uncomfortable stares… pass

Krazy-8: i don’t remember much of him but going off looks, smash

Jesses Therapy Group Leader: pass, he has those crazy killer eyes

hope you enjoyed! :D

[coolocgod]

Mike: Wow, did you hear that voice crack? Steven: That wasn't a voice crack, that was a whole voice meth.