#Steve gives a good hug because he also needs a hug and he’s selfish about it

[morganbritton132]

Eddie is trying to get a book off the shelf at the library and Steve is in his way so he just tries to reach around him. Steve interpreted Eddie’s arms reaching around him wrong and hugs him.

They are not friends.

They have literally never talked to each other.

It’s a good hug and Steve pats Eddie on the back afterwards like, “Good talk.”

And then just leaves him there with a crush that is growing.

[missvelvetsstuff]

Where You Goin, Star?

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Reader meets Bucky when the truck hauling her show horses breaks down as she is trying to leave for an event and he works for the mechanic. Passionate, secret love affair ensues. After a confrontation with her father, Bucky decides she deserves better than a poor biker like him and leaves town with his friends Steve and Sam. Three years later, reader is trapped in an abusive relationship and about to give up hope of things ever improving, when Bucky comes back.

Chapter 9

Warnings: swearing, angst, fluff

John Walker was panicking, everything was falling apart so quickly and he didn't know what to do. He was supposed to keep Y/N around until they had a kid but that damn biker came back and ruined everything.

He shook his head, he always knew what to do. He was John fucking Walker, West Point graduate, decorated Army Captain, congressman on his way to the Oval office. He had a beautiful wife and her family fortunes. He was-. Interrupted by the doorbell- thank God she's here.

He answered the door to see the love of his life, Olivia.

Olivia was mad at first, when he married Y/N. But after a long talk he made her realize that it would be good for their relationship. Well, good for his career which was always the most important thing to him.

John had a plan when they got married, he would rule over Y/N. Beat her into submission so that she didn't question where the money was going. Her father on the other hand asked too many questions. She didn't even question her father's heart attack and it was easy enough to seduce Sharon, to convince her to give Alexander Pierce the injection that made his heart sieze and stop. False promises of being with her when Y/N was taken care of and 7 figure deposits in her Cayman account smoothed the way.

John Walker had it all under control until Bucky fucking Barnes waltzed back into town, making heart eyes at his wife. Even worse, his return seemed to light a spark in Y/N that John was sure he had snuffed out completely.

And now she had proof that Olivia's kid was also his. He should have known that Pierce had some dirt on him. He was panicking because he was sure that wasn't all the dirt that conniving old man had.

Olivia came into the penthouse "John, baby? Are you alright? What happened? You never call on Tuesdays, I had a hard time finding a sitter for Johnny.

How can I help?"

John smiled at Olivia, a real, loving smile, his wife never cared about his feelings or needs unless he was taking it out on her, and gave her a hug murmuring in her ear "You help just by being here. I love you so much, baby."

Olivia pulled back "What did that selfish bitch do? I don't know why you haven't gotten rid of her yet."

John kissed her "I'm so sorry baby but I won't be able to see you for awhile. Somehow that bitch has a DNA report, that proves Johnny is mine. If that gets out my career will be over.

Brock is taking care of her but I'll have to play the mourning husband and all eyes will be on me. When things blow over we will be able to be together for real, to get married and we will have the Pierce fortunes to take care of us."

He rubbed her almost flat belly "We should be together before our little girl gets here."

Olivia smiled "Whatever you need baby."

John smiled and wondered why his wife wasn't like that. Her father promised she would be the perfect, submissive wife. Olivia kneeled in front of him "Let me take some of that stress for you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Bucky got the call from Nick Fury his heart stopped. He ran to his bike and raced to the Pierce house, arriving when the paramedics did. He didn't remember jumping off his bike and bolting into the house right in front of them.

"Star! STAR! Where are-"

He stopped when he saw her on the couch, lifeless, an empty syringe and tourniquet on the coffee table in front of her.

"Nonononono, Star, please" he tried to shake her and gently slapped her face with no response. He turned to the paramedics with tears in his eyes, moving out of the way so they could help her.

The EMT looked at the syringe and shook his head, reaching for the narcan and injecting her. He recognized her and Bucky from the recent groundbreaking. "You're not her husband?"

Bucky shook his head "No just a friend. I think someone drugged her. A friend of mine got a call from one of her bodyguards but he must have left right after. Her husband is-"

The paramedic nodded "I know who he is." He looked at the syringe. "Don't touch that so it can be checked for fingerprints."

A police car pulled up a few moments later and the officers came inside to check things out. The EMT told them what he found when he arrived, pointing out the syringe. One of them put on some gloves and put the syringe and tourniquet in a bag after taking a couple of pictures.

Y/N groaned softly and tried to open her eyes. She tried to speak but only coughed. Bucky brought her some water. She looked at him "Jamie? I must have died but it's already better than being alive."

Bucky hugged her gently "It's real Star. You're alive and I'm here. How do you feel?"

She groaned "Like a truck hit me. Everything hurts."

The EMT looked her over "That's normal with an overdose. You should be more careful.

We need to take you to the hospital. Just because you're feeling better now doesn't mean you are out of the woods yet."

The EMT's loaded her into the ambulance and Bucky held her hand all the way to the hospital.

Once she had been thoroughly evaluated the attending physician decided to keep her overnight.

"Mrs Walker besides the overdose you are dehydrated, underweight and likely more but we have to wait for your blood tests to come back. You have extensive bruising on your neck, shoulders, backside and thighs. The gynecological exam found evidence of forced coitus, including vaginal and rectal tearing."

Star looked confused "Overdose? I don't remember...?" She trailed off.

"I see. Do you remember being raped?"

Star nodded

"You will need to file a police report and a records release with the hospital so we can give them the medical reports.

Your dinner should be here soon, I've ordered a bland diet for tonight. Eat and get some rest, I'll check on you in the morning."

After the doctor left two detectives came in, introducing themselves as Det Coulson and Det May. By the time she had gone over the events of the last few days, Star was exhausted.

When she woke up the next morning Bucky was sleeping in one of the chairs but he woke up when he heard her moving around.

Bucky told her his side of yesterday's events including the syringe he found on the coffee table.

She shook her head "I don't do needles. That's not mine."

Bucky nodded "I had a feeling. Do you think John would try to kill you?"

"There's no reason for him to- wait" she groaned holding her head "When I was cleaning out my father's office I found a key for a safe deposit box that had some papers of my dads. A DNA test from John's kid with his ex, Olivia. It was dated last year and she just had a kid.

I talked to Pepper Stark and she was going to help me. John must have been monitoring my texts because he had Brock take me to the penthouse after my lunch with her. It gets fuzzy after that."

She rested her head on Bucky's chest

"I found something else"

Bucky kissed the top of her head and hugged her close for the first time in 3 years. She smelled like vanilla and strawberries, like Heaven, like Home.

"What else did you find, doll?"

"An envelope with Star written on it. In your handwriting. And your grandmother's ring. Brock must have given it to my father." She felt herself choking up

"I'm sorry I doubted you" she couldn't hold back the sobs, gripping his shirt as he squeezed her. "I'm so sorry for all the things I said to you."

Bucky shook his head and shushed her "No, Star, it's not your fault, it's Brock and John. You didn't know. Where did you put everything? The ring?"

She giggled "I gave them to Pepper to keep safe. I didn't want to take any chances."

Bucky loved hearing her laugh a real laugh, the last 3 years had been torture, missing her. "That's my smart girl. They can stay there for right now, until we need them. Unfortunately I don't think John is going to back down when he finds out you survived. He has a lot to lose and we will do everything we can to make sure he loses all of it."

Star nodded, feeling happy and hopeful for the first time in years.

After she had breakfast the doctor showed up. He looked at her chart and gave her a quick once over. "How are you feeling, Mrs Walker?"

Star grimaced "Please call me Y/N or Ms Pierce if you must. I never wanted to be Mrs Walker and will be changing that as soon as possible."

The doctor nodded "Fine Ms Pierce. How do you feel?"

Star smiled softly "Honestly I still feel pretty bad, mostly achy all over with hot and cold chills, like with a high fever. Emotionally I'm better, much better."

"Those are typical symptoms of withdrawal. I'm guessing yesterday wasn't your first brush with opiates." He looked at her knowingly.

She looked down "No, I've been dependent on them for awhile but only pills from a doctor, I've never used needles or anything like that."

"I recommend you check into a rehab, there are some excellent ones locally."

She shook her head "Does it have to be inpatient? I just wanna go home."

"It can be done outpatient but with all the physical trauma you've had I'm concerned for your safety. Do you have somewhere safe that you can stay?"

Star shrugged "I'm not sure but I'm-"

Tony Stark interrupted her as he walked in the door with Pepper "You can stay with us. Stark tower is one of the most secure buildings in the city and I have a small suite near our penthouse that we use for important guests." He looked at her fondly "It's all yours for as long as you need."

Star smiled nervously "Tony, it's so kind of you to offer but I don't want to impose."

Tony scoffed "Impose? Are you kidding me? Pepper can't wait to have you with us. It'll make it easier to meet with doctors, attorneys and all that."

Bucky was beside himself "Thank you Tony but you realize we're a package deal, right?"

Tony rolled his eyes "Far be it from me to seperate you lovebirds after all this time apart. Luckily for all of us the living quarters are all soundproof."

Star felt her face heat up but she couldn't stop smiling.

@pattiemac1

Maybe her 30th birthday would be better than she anticipated.

Chapter 10

[wildestdreamsblog]

I can’t keep loving you

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Y/N

Summary: The one where he loved with only half of his heart

A/N: Helloooooo. I was listening to half of my heart while studying and this came to me. I hope you enjoy this! Also, I hope when u love, u love smartly. 

Then you come crashing in like the realest thing. Try my best to understand all that your love can bring

Bucky had just arrived from his month long mission- to him it wasn't that long. But to you, it felt like a lifetime, days dragging as you waited for him. The door to his apartment opened, and before he knew it you were jumping on his arms, your face buried on his neck as you embraced him, basking in his warmth. Bucky hesitated before wrapping his arms around your thighs to support your weight. He let you hugged him before pushing you away. You leaned in to kiss his lips, but he subtly moved away his face, smiling at you as if he just didn't let you kiss him.

"I'm dirty, Y/N. I'm gonna take a shower." He set you down before walking directly to the bathroom, passing by the feast you readied for his arrival, barely sparing it a glance.

It's okay. He was just out of it because of the mission.

Your faith is strong, but I can only fall short for so long

You were surrounded by your friends and family as they sang you a happy birthday, your best friend walking to you with your birthday cake. You feigned a smile, your eyes scanning the room to check if he was there. He wasn't.

"Make a wish, Y/N!."

Closing you eyes, you blew your cake. Everyone applauded, and you excused yourself to check your phone. He hadn't called. So you decided to call him, it took him five rings before he answered breathlessly, "Y/N? Now's not a good time-"

"Happy birthday again, dear!" your aunt side hugged you, before leaving.

"Shit." You heard him on the other line, "I'm sorry, doll. I was just busy with something."

It's okay, you told him. It's not important. I love you, you told him.

Down the road, later on, you will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart

You were seated on the restaurant where you and Bucky had your first date. Patiently waiting for him as you sipped your wine, your eyes constantly looking at the entrance. More than an hour passed, you were getting worried. He wasn't answering his phone.

Can't make it. Stuck in briefing.

That was the only message you got, and you received it just as the waiter came around to tell you they were closing. Sounds about right. You were the only one left in the restaurant. You mustered to flash a smile to the waiter and paid, not minding the pity looks they were throwing your way. You only get to see Bucky for at least a week for the whole month he was gone for missions.

It's okay, you told yourself. He's just busy.

But I can't stop loving you with half of my heart

Steve glared at him and shook his head. "If you want to break up with her, why don't you just tell her?"

Bucky sighed. He knew he was being a coward. But how could he hurt you when you did nothing but shower him with warmth and love that he knew he didn't deserve?

"Do you love her?"

He took a minute before answering, "I-" he looked up, before answering, "I think I can love her."

Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that half of my heart won't do

You heard all that. You went to the compound to surprise him with his favorite food- but instead you were surprised. Half of his heart was not enough when you gave him more than your whole heart. So, you went home to the place the both of you called yours, and started packing your stuff. And that was how he found you, his heart, the selfish part of it, wanted to stop you, to tell you that he could do better, he could learn to love you more, that he just needed time.

But instead, he sat down and didn't stop you. He would not be selfish this time, you deserved more than the half-ass love he was giving you.

And before you left, you kissed his cheek one last time.

I'm sorry, he said.

It's okay, you said, it's not your fault you don't love me.

But he did, he did love you with half of his heart.

------

Please take note that I give no permission for my work to be reposted or published anywhere other than on my Tumblr account.

REBLOGS ARE MUCHOOO APPRECIATED!!! If you made it this far, comments are highly appreciated!  Also, I don’t own the Marvel and any of their work, this is just purely a fanfiction

[angstysebfan]

The Past Can Break You - 1

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

AU: Avengers

Summary: You and Bucky have been dating for aa few years. As far as you’re concerned he is the one. But what happens when a blast from the actual past shows up?

A/N: Ive seen a lot stories of Bucky getting his first love from the 40′s back. And I’ve always wondered... what would happen if he was dating someone already? Reader is from this time. Not proofread.

--

If someone asked you what you loved about being an Avenger, you would definitely say the people. Not even the people you save, but the other members of your team who have become your family. See, you didn’t have a family growing up, and when Tony brought you into the Avengers you had no idea that he was also bringing you into the family.

Sam, Steve, and Thor were your big brothers, always protective. Natasha and Wanda were your best friends and sisters. Tony was definitely a father figure to you as well as one of your favorite people in the world. Bruce and Vision were two very good friends that you knew you could always count on. And Scott was the funniest person on the planet and always made you laugh.

But none of them compared to Bucky. When you first joined the avengers Bucky was new too. You guys became very close friends and eventually developed a very loving relationship. He was nervous at first to ask you out because it had been so long since he dated anyone. When he was back in the 40s he was definitely a ladies man but now he was more reserved and shy, which you didn’t mind.

Before you started dating he did tell you about his first love, Dot. You knew that she was his first love and tried not to be jealous of a woman from the 40s, and you tried not to compare his love to her to his love for you. You knew he missed her, but hopefully now that he was dating you, not as much, as selfish as that sounds.

You now have been dating Bucky for 2 1/2 years, and it’s safe to say that he is the love of your life. You both moved into the same room and spend as much time together as possible when you’re not on missions. In fact you’re out with Natasha and Wanda right now getting a special gift to wear tonight with Bucky.

“What’s the occasion for this again?” Natasha asked.

“Oh nothing, just feel like making him feel special,“ you say with a wink. Both girls rolled her eyes at you and continue searching for the perfect lingerie for you to wear for him.

When you got back to the compound you walk to the common room with your new purchase super excited to show your soldier later.  you see everyone standing around staring at this big contraption that’s now in the middle of the common room. You walk up and stand next to your boyfriend staring at both the contraption and Tony who looks super excited.

“What the hell is this?“ you ask. 

Tony looks at you and see the excitement in his eyes like a kid on Christmas. “I’m not sure. I found it in the archives when I was looking for something. I thought we could all open it up together,” her says.

You look at your boyfriend who gives you a shrug of his shoulders and a smirk, “He has been like this for a half hour,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer, kissing the top of your head.

“Where were you off to?” He asks, ignoring the commotion for a moment.

“Oh just picking up something for you… for me to wear… in bed.. tonight,” you say.

You see Bucky’s eyes darken as he leans closer to you, “well can’t wait to see it and rip it off of you then, Doll,” he whispers in your ear before placing his lips on yours.

You giggle as you then lean your head toward Tony and the contraption. You see Tony pressing a few buttons before some air or steam come out the top and the door opens. When the steam clears you all see there is a woman inside who appears to still be alive.

“It’s a cryogenic chamber!” Tony shouted in excitement.

Everyone stepped back to give whoever was in the chamber a few moments to awaken and come out slowly. After they clambered out you realized it was a red headed woman. You hear Bucky’s breath hitch as you all get a look at her face. Suddenly the woman looks at Bucky.

“Jamie?!” She asked.

You look at your boyfriend who is in shock looking at the woman before him. His hand around your waist falls away from you as he starts to step toward her.

“Dot? Is… is that really you?” He asks in amazement.

Suddenly your own breath hitches as you realize that your boyfriend is looking at his first love. The woman you felt you had to compare to. The one you thought he would never see again. She was now in your living room staring at Bucky in disbelief.

“I thought you were dead! How are you alive?” She asks.

“It’s a long story,Doll. One I’ll have to tell you later,” he says as he smirks at her.

She reaches out and pulls him toward her in a strong hug. Your heart slowly begins to break as you feel completely helpless, and selfish at the same time. You see all your friends, Steve included, are giving looks of sympathy.

You start taking slow steps back, not wanting to draw any more attention to yourself. You stumble and stop though when you see her kiss him. Your heart is officially obliterated. No way will you stand a chance next to Dot.

Bucky had his first love back. He didn’t need you anymore. You quickly turned away and leave the room: no one calls for you, letting you go. Bucky and Dot don’t even notice.

Bucky pulls away from Dot, “I’m sorry, I can’t. There is so much we need to talk about, but I can’t…”

He trails off as he finally turns toward the room and sees that you are gone. He feels terrible and steps away from Dot.

“You should go down and see Bruce. Get checked out. I’ll meet you down there. I just have to check on something first,” Bucky says.

Dot grabs his hand, “Please don’t leave me. I don’t want to be alone,” she begs.

Steve steps up, “I’ll go with you Dot. Bucky will meet us down there,” he says.

Bucky gives his best friend a thankful smile before nodding at Dot and turning toward your shared room. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know what to think. All he knew is that he was at a crossroads where one or all of the participants will get hurt.

He was terrified.

- -

Chapter 2

Ok so as I said up top, I always wondered what would happen if Bucky’s 40s gf came back while he was dating someone else. I feel for both reader and Bucky in this situation because this is a tough situation. Looking forward to writing it! Feedback is appreciated!

Permanent Taglist:  @hailmary-yramliah @tuiccim @comedictragedy @cap-n-stuff @thefridgeismybestie @swiftmind @aleaisntcreative @lookimtrying @pinknerdpanda @morganclaire4 @iamvalentinaconstanza @verygraphicink @im-squished @joannie95 @peace-love-hobbitness @connie326 @amandamdiehl @harrysthiccthighss @its-izzys @roserose26 @rebekahdawkins @elegantobservationstudentsblog @broco8 @shinykoalacat @white-wolf1940 @jessyballet

[crazyunsexycool]

‘til the end of the line and back.

Chapter 6: Timing is everything

Pairing: Bucky x Fem Reader, Steve x Fem Reader, Steve x Bucky, Stucky x Fem Reader eventually, 

Word Count: 8.4 k

Warnings: Angst (probably badly written), an argument, language, mentions of human trafficking, Angry Reader, slow burn.

A/N: Adam is back in Reader's life. Agent Donovan is also reintroduced. This chapter kicked my ass but I hope you like it.

Minors DNI

Please don’t copy, rewrite, translate or repost my works. No permission is given to use my works in any capacity even with credit.

Series Masterlist

Ch. 5

The day had been much more intense than what you had thought and you weren’t even ready to unpack everything that happened with Jackson. You wander through the hallways not ready to go to your room even though you are exhausted. Everything had you on edge. The argument in the conference room didn’t help. Bucky and Steve being upset because of you was the only thing you could focus on.

Bucky and Steve.

 They should be your priority. You’ll be restless if you don’t apologize. It was a stupid thing to do, you know that. You saw the relief that washed over Bucky when he saw you in the warehouse. How hurt he felt when you pushed him away when all he wanted to do was to make sure you were ok. You knew Steve was just as worried as Bucky was at that moment. The way he defended you when Tony was arguing didn’t deter the fact that Steve was going to pull you aside later to talk about it. It was only right for you to apologize. You take a deep breath and turn back to the conference room and try to catch them once the meeting is done. You run into the rest of the team as you’re heading back.

“You good?” Sam asks.

“I will be. I’m sorry for today. It was stupid and I shouldn’t have dealt with this situation the way I did.” 

“We’re a team for a reason, we would have backed you up no questions asked. Just don’t scare us with your disappearing act again.” Wanda tells you as she offers a hug. You accept it and thank her.

“Do you need us to stay with you?” 

“No, it’s ok I have something that I need to do.”

“You know where to find us if you want to talk.” Nat says as she passes by and places a hand on your shoulder giving it a squeeze. 

You wave goodbye as you continue to walk back to the conference room. The team forgives you quickly but it won’t be that easy with Bucky and Steve. Although if Steve was upset with you he didn’t show it. He was just as caring as Bucky when it came to you. He even stepped in and helped Bucky calm you down. You need to make things right with them since they’re the ones you’re closest to. Even though you’ve known Bucky for longer, when you met Steve it felt like he was always meant to be a part of your life, they both were. The friendship came easily, maybe because everyone was shutting him out or because you made sure he knew you were there for him too. It didn’t matter though it only took a few days before you went looking for him. 

You see Tony walk down the hallway in the opposite direction, so you knew it was only Steve and Bucky in the room. You could hear their voices but not what they were saying. As you turn your head to look through the glass wall you see them and your heart drops. 

They were kissing. 

Bucky wouldn’t even talk to Steve so when did this happen? Why didn’t they tell you? Had you read your relationship with both of them wrong? You knew you loved Bucky but you didn’t think either of you were ready for a relationship. You denied any feelings you had toward Steve as romantic, but now at this moment you couldn’t. It was overwhelming thinking that you could love two people in the same way and at the same time. Was it even love? Were you just being selfish? They’ve been through so much already they deserve happiness and who are you to question them.

You’re frozen where you stand. This is something else you weren’t ready to face. It dawned on you that maybe Bucky never made a move because he never saw you that way. You knew there was something between the two of you, it was there with you and Steve too. The lingering touches, going out of your way to get each other’s favorite food, being each other’s first good mornings or last good nights. How could you have been so wrong about all of it? 

“Fuck Stevie I’ve wanted to do that for so long, I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Bucky’s muffled voice snaps you back into reality. You can’t do this, you can’t listen to them confess their love for each other, it will break your heart. You turn and run to your room, you don’t realize you’re crying until your vision is blurred. You take a quick shower and change into jeans, a black shirt and a light jacket. You need to get out of the compound, this time you leave a note and hopefully no one will follow you.

Needed to clear my head. I'll be back soon. -Y/N

You leave it on the desk where you know someone will see it and head out.

It was late when you left the compound. You drove around aimlessly for a while. Maybe it was the freedom of not having a destination that subconsciously pushed you to where you were now. Standing in front of an old  familiar apartment building. You take the few stairs up to the door. The name on the buzzer was almost faded but you didn’t need to see it to know who lived there. You look back to the door to consider if you should go in or not. The door opens before you can talk yourself out of it, as the couple steps out you catch the door before it closes. You take the stairs three floors up apartment 3F.

You knock and wait, you can hear the tv on and the shuffling of feet getting closer. You take a deep breath as the door opens.

“Y/N?”

“Hi Adam.” you say with a sheepish smile, you stand in front of your best friend. The last time you had seen him in person you ran away from him at the bookshop and that was about a year ago. You kept track of him through his social media accounts but you hadn’t made contact with him. You always wanted to but you weren’t sure if you were still friends. It wasn’t until this moment seeing him in his t-shirt and pajama pants that you realized the ache you had in your heart for someone familiar with who you were before HYDRA.

“You look like you could use a hug.” he says after a few seconds of silence. 

“I would really like that.” you reply as you step toward him letting him embrace you. He rests his chin on top of your head and holds you tight and you can feel him take a steadying breath. 

“It’s been too long, I missed you so much.” He whispers as he lets you go. You can see the shine in his eyes as tears threaten to spill, but he holds them back. He steps back as he invites you in.

You take a look around the living room, it’s small but comforting. There are books everywhere, a plant by the window. The couch is old but comfy and the walls are filled with pictures and art, not just any type of art it was yours. You recognized it from your old Instagram page, he had kept them, he had kept a piece of you alive. You get little flashes of memories here. Time spent with Adam, laughing and crying, the celebrations and the heartbreaks. Decorating this very room, helping him hang up those pictures. This was a second home to you and after everything that happened today you realized you needed home.

“Have a seat. Do you want something to drink? Tea maybe?” he offers but doesn’t wait for a response as you hear him moving around the kitchen getting mugs and a kettle. A few minutes later he’s back with a mug for you and one for himself.

“This should be just how you like it. Or used to like it I guess. I should have asked how you like your tea now, do you still drink tea? I can bring you something else if you want.” His nervous rambling made you smile.

You grab the cup before he can leave and take a sip. “It’s exactly right, Thank you Adam.” You sit back on the couch just looking around trying to remember more from this place and your time spent here. The silence was a bit tense but not uncomfortable. There is a lot to be said on both your parts. The light of the tv dances around you both as you look at Adam sitting next to you  before he breaks the silence again.

“What happened to you? You disappeared all those years ago, then you showed up a year ago and you just left. Were you in trouble?” he says as he looks at you.

There was no easy way to do this. Just like ripping off a band-aid you had to just tell him what happened. You took another sip of the tea he made you before you started. It was second nature by now, telling someone how your ex-boyfriend sold you. This time it was different, Adam knew Jackson personally. He knew Jackson when you first met, when you told Adam you were in love and that he was ‘the one’. He was there every step of the way when you built your relationship with Jackson.  He helped you both move into your first apartment together. You could read his emotions so easily as you sat at one end of the couch, he wore his heart on his sleeve since he was young. The two that stood out were guilt and outrage.

“How could he do that? He loved you, he was always so protective and caring. He was a wreck when he called me and said he hadn’t heard from you in like two days. He said That the two of you had a fight and he left with his friends for a few days to blow off some steam. Talking about how he couldn’t believe you would leave him.” 

You scoff. “Oh please, Jackson had some huge debt he needed to clear. The only way to clear it was by giving me up because he didn’t have the money. It was either that or they would kill him, that coward.”

“You know he kind of dropped off the face of the planet after you disappeared. I thought he was so grief stricken that he couldn’t be in your old apartment. I should have known he had something to do with it. I haven’t seen him since. What if they killed him anyway?”

“Oh he’s still alive and kicking unfortunately.” you say with a scowl thinking about how he managed to get away.

“You’ve seen him? Where?” 

“Some warehouse yesterday” you say as you take another sip of your tea. “He escaped though, I didn’t get a chance to bring him in. It seems like he is more involved with those people now.”

“Are you talking about the warehouse in Queens? Captain America and Spiderman were there. So was the other guy, what's his name, the Winter Soldier? Do you know them?”

“Not the Winter Soldier anymore but yup” you say, popping the ‘P’.

“Ok we need alcohol for this conversation. You still like tequila?” Adams asks as he moves back into the kitchen.

“I can’t get drunk anymore so I don’t see a reason to drink.”

“You can’t get drunk?” his face scrunched up as he looks at you.

You tell him about HYDRA and what they did to you. This was when you couldn’t look him in the eyes. You were afraid he would be scared of you. You explained what the serum did to you and that was why you couldn’t get drunk anymore. How they wiped your memory and some things were still foggy.

“Drink anyway, For the flavor.” he shrugs.

“If I remember correctly, we used to get drunk so that we could forget.” 

“Yeah but we were young and dumb.” He laughs. 

You had forgotten his laugh, it was contagious and you didn’t realize you missed it. You laugh with him.

“And now what are we?” as you take a shot glass from him and drink it.

“Old and dumb.” he laughs again. “But seriously you actually know Captain America?”

You look at him and after a second you nod. 

“Well actually I know all of them.” 

“How do you know all of the Avengers? Wait, that means you know Black Widow.” He wiggles his eyebrows at you. 

You chuckle, “I will be keeping you far away from Nat. She would eat you alive. Well I work with them.” you look at him to gauge his reaction. “Actually I’m part of the team.”

“Hold up, you Y/N Y/L/N, are an Avenger?” his mouth agape.

“I have been for a year and a half.” 

“But you hate violence how are you part of that team? You don’t even know how to fight? Those people did more to you didn’t they?” 

“It was torture, literally. I had to learn hand to hand combat, and weapons training. They forced me to do a lot of things I didn’t want to do. I escaped the day everyone came back. I didn’t have all my memories so I ran for three months, trying to stay ahead of them. Then I ran into Tony while he was on a mission and he offered me a place with the Avengers and I’ve been with them since.” 

“HYDRA was that organization that was on the news, right? They had infiltrated that other government agency.” you nod as he talks.

“Those people that Jackson gave me to, they sold me and somehow I ended up at a HYDRA base and well they did horrible things to me.” You keep your eyes glued to your lap. You’re afraid Adam will be scared of you if you tell him everything so you wait for him to ask.

“What did they do to you?” he asks again as he takes your hand and gives it a squeeze. He has always been good at comforting you, this you remember.

“Other than the serum, they did other experiments on me and now I can do this.” You move your free hand up and take control over the tequila bottle. It rises slowly and tips over pour into the two glasses.

“Neat party trick huh?” you ask as you exhale a shaky breath. When he doesn’t reply you look at him and he sat up straighter and had tears in his eyes. 

Shit. Now he’s afraid of me. You think to yourself but you’re wrong.

He pulls you into a bone shattering hug, well if he had the strength for it. But you don’t break anymore, at least not physically.

“I’m so sorry Y/N, I should have done more to find you. I-I didn’t know what to do. If I hadn’t stopped looking I could have saved you.”

“Hey, no don’t do that to yourself. It wasn’t your fault, I saw the police report you filed for me. You did everything you could. Not to mention the world went to shit a few months later. I was taken to Europe anyway there wasn’t much to be done.” you say as you wipe away his tears. Your hands frame his face as you rest your forehead against his.

“You’re the only family I have Y/N and I lost you for 7 years. I didn’t keep you safe and that’s my fault. When I saw you at the bookshop I thought my heart was going to burst, I thought I was dreaming.”

“I’m sorry that I left the way I did. I had only been free for a few months and I didn’t have my memories back. I still don’t have a lot of them but running into you that day unlocked some so I have you to thank for giving me myself back.” You smile at him. You lay your head on his shoulder and take a deep breath. 

“You’ve always been the strong one. I’m happy  you made it out, if anyone could it would be you.” Another moment of silence 

 “Tell me something, are you happy?”

You look up at him and give him a small smile and nod. He studies your face for a moment, the thing about having a lifelong friend is that they know when you’re lying. You know he knows that you’re hiding something but it’s late and it’s a topic for another day. You sit in silence again but this time he doesn’t say anything else. You take a couple of more shots before Adam calls it a night. He offers you his bed but you decide to stay in the living room and promise you’ll be there in the morning for breakfast.

“Oh,” is all Steve can say but he doesn’t pull back from Bucky.

It’s a truth Bucky wasn’t ready to face. He didn’t really know how he could love two people for very different and very similar reasons. He had been in love with Steve since they were kids and now he knows Steve feels the same. As he held onto Steve in that moment, the realization that the love wasn’t one sided didn’t ease the hurt Bucky felt when he left. He was alone in a sense, the love of his life had left him without a second thought. He was finally free in more ways than one and it wasn’t enough, he felt like he wasn’t enough for Steve to stay. Then in the middle of his darkest times was the hope he never thought he’d feel again. The hope that maybe he still had a chance at love and that hope was you. In the blink of an eye you were at the compound and your arrival in his life wasn’t sudden and completely unexpected. It was slow, steady and welcomed. You smiled when you passed him in the hall even if he didn’t return it at first. It was saving you a seat for movie night. It was you leaving a copy of a book he might like by his door. It was tea and whiskey at 3:00 in the morning, and conversations that shouldn’t have been important ingrained in his memory. The nightmares that you chased away for each other and the small touches that brought you back from the edge. Most importantly it was the promises, the pinky promises, that made Bucky fall in love without realizing it until he thought he had lost you. 

Bucky finally pulls away from Steve and takes a step back. He rubs the back of his neck then pulls his hand to scratch his jaw.

“I want to say that I’m sorry but I can’t. I love you and I love her. She was there for me when you were gone. She means everything to me. You mean everything to me and I don’t think I could choose.” Bucky admits.

“You don’t have to apologize. I get it, Y/N is incredible. It’s easy to fall for her Buck.You don’t even realize it until you think it’s too late. I don’t think she realizes the hold she has on us.” Steve says.

“Us? You’re in love with her too?” Bucky whips his head up at Steve. 

Steve hadn’t even considered being in love with anyone other than Bucky. His first few days back at the compound were the hardest, everyone except Nat was ignoring him. Sure the day after he came back you both talked but it was a short conversation, you told him you would be around if he needed you but he hadn’t really seen you around much afterwards. It wasn’t until one afternoon he found himself in his office that you knocked on his door with lunch for the both of you. It was something so simple but it meant so much to him. You didn’t really know him but there you were offering your time so that he wouldn’t feel alone, which he felt he completely deserved. The more he got to know you the more he felt protective towards you. That should have been his first clue. He would do just as much for you as he would for Bucky to ensure your happiness and well being. He was mesmerized by your kind and selfless nature. He was addicted to your company and when you made physical contact he felt electricity rip through this body. So he should have known but he didn’t because how could he be in love with two people at once?

“I haven’t known her as long but yes, I am. I would do anything for her. I would do anything for you, if you’d let me.” Steve steps closer to Bucky again. He’s itching to hold him again. 

Bucky shakes his head, this is too much to process. He loves Steve and Steve loves him. He loves you and he’s sure you love him. Did you love Steve too? What if you and Steve chose to be together then he would lose the two of you.

“It’s not that easy, how can I trust you again? You can always just up and leave whenever you want.” 

“I won’t and I’ll prove it.” Steve says confidently “All I ask for right now is that you don’t shut me out again. We can just talk right? We can be friends again. Let's start there, what do you say?” he pleads.

“I can’t promise it will be easy for me but I’ll try.” Bucky replies.

“That’s all I ask. Now why don’t we go check on our girl?” 

“I’m not really liking this us/our thing you have going on punk. I met her first.” 

“Don’t be a jerk.” Steve chuckles.

They leave the conference room to find you. It’s second nature to check your room first. This time the need to make sure you’re ok has doubled. They move quickly through the halls until they get to your room. Bucky hesitates for a moment before he knocks, he still doesn’t know what to make of you pushing him away. He’ll lie and say it didn’t hurt but it did. There wasn’t a moment after The 4th of July that the two of you weren’t holding hands or sitting so close your bodies were always touching in one way or another. By now it was normal to sleep in the same bed together, no questions asked.

“Y/N are you ok?” Steve is the one that speaks up. 

No answer.

“Pinky?” Bucky knocks again.

 “Fuck.” He doesn’t wait for an answer since he can’t hear anything in your room so he just opens the door. They look around realizing you haven’t been in there for a while. 

“She went out,” Steve says as he holds up the note you left. “She said she’d be back soon.” 

Bucky clenches his jaw and walks out of your room and into his. Steve follows him and closes the door. They lay in bed together after getting comfortable, stolen kisses in between the silence. The night for them is long, waiting to hear you come back.

You spent the early morning having breakfast with Adam. The conversation picked up where you left off and soon enough you learned he didn’t disappear when the snap happened. He told you he bought the bookshop from the previous owners shortly after you disappeared and that he had a girlfriend at one point. They broke up because she wanted to move to a bigger place but he wanted to stay in the same apartment just in case you showed up again. He was happy to be right about that last part. You leave after exchanging numbers and setting up another time to hang out. 

You walk into the kitchen to grab a water bottle after your ride back. It’s still midmorning so you’re not surprised the kitchen is empty. Everyone is most likely in the gym or training recruits. As you drink from the bottle with your back to the entrance you lean against the kitchen island, you hear someone walking towards you but you don’t turn because you know who it is.

“Where have you been?” Bucky asked through gritted teeth, you can hear the plates in his left hand adjusting as he clenches his fists.

“I was out.” 

“That’s it you were out. Do you know how fucking worried I’ve been?”

“Bucky, I’m-” You stop right as you begin to  apologize when you see Steve walk in and stand right beside Bucky. You swallow thickly as you turn your back on them leaning against the counter again. “I’m sorry I made you worry.” 

You don’t see the confused look exchanged between them before Steve speaks up.

 “We need to talk about yesterday Y/N.” 

“I got information for traffickers from four different locations. It’s enough to bring down the operation. What is there to talk about?” You question as you pick on the label of the water bottle.

“Y/N, what you did yesterday was reckless. You should have told us, we would have backed you up.”

You knew it was reckless and you were willing to accept it but you couldn’t understand why they were talking to you like that, especially Steve. You scoff as you turn back to look at them. 

 “You’re bullshitting me right now. You think I was reckless?”

“You could have gotten hurt or they could have taken you again. Don't you see how dangerous this job is?” Bucky speaks up again. His concern is clear in his voice but you don’t focus on that.

“Bucky’s right, you shouldn’t have left like that. It was impulsive and stupid.” Steve clenches his jaw as he stands a bit taller, squaring his shoulders in the process.

If he wants a fight, he’ll get one. You think as you quirk an eyebrow up.

“Oh please, who are you to tell me I was being impulsive? I’ve seen you out on missions and you’re probably the worst one out of all of us.”

“I’m the captain of this team and you can’t go off on your own like that. You’re too close to this mission, you aren’t thinking clearly and you should have let us handle it.”  He stands with his hands on his hips. 

“Are you really the captain though? Because if I remember correctly only two people were speaking to you as of a few days ago and no one wanted to include you in mission briefings. No one except for Nat and myself were asking you to join our missions. And you-” You say as you look at Bucky. “You’re just as impulsive as he is. You seriously think you can stand there and try to lecture me about how dangerous this job is?”

 You say as you cross your arms as you glare at them. You’re letting your emotions get the best of you and none of you realize that some items in the kitchen are starting to float, including glasses, plates, the stools, the small table and the chairs. 

“Don’t try to turn this on us, Y/N. You know Steve is right on this.” He takes a few steps into the kitchen. “Those people work with HYDRA, they could have been alerted of your location. You weren’t thinking clearly and now we have a mess to clean up because of it.”

Bucky’s words had you seeing red. As if you were the reason that HYDRA was doing what they were doing.

“Well if you would have gotten rid of HYDRA the first time around, none of us would be in this mess to begin with.” You snapped as all the items in the kitchen came crashing down. You don’t waste any time stomping out of the kitchen leaving both men looking around at the mess with matching shocked expressions. 

“Ms. Y/L/N, your presence is being requested in the conference room.” F.R.I.D.A.Y. announces. You groan as you get out of your bed. After your argument with Bucky and Steve you retreated into your room and haven’t left in hours. You managed to cry out your frustrations and the pent up emotions of the last day and a half as you sat in your bathtub. You change out of your pajamas and head down to the conference room. You mentally prepare yourself since you didn’t know what you would be walking into. 

As you walk in you notice the whole team is already there files opened in front of them. One of the only chairs left at the table is right between Steve and Bucky. You roll your eyes when you realize it and take the seat right by the door. The action didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of the team. You look toward the head of the table where Tony is standing as you wait for the meeting to begin although it seems like they had started before you joined. 

“Good you’re here. Let’s get started then.” Tony says as he pulls up intel from the offices and the warehouse you had gathered. You hit the jackpot of information that spanned years back and current business dealings. Although most of it would be handled by regular agents there were a few items dangerous enough to warrant the Avengers getting involved, including weapons trade that involved alien tech and another batch of super soldier serum. Tony did love the sound of his voice because he kept going on and on. You sank further down in your chair as your arms were on the armrests and your hands were clasped together over your midsection, your legs stretched out completely.  

“That will be everything for now but we will have another meeting once we have a lead on where the weapons and the serum are.” He finishes as everyone starts to leave the room. Before you’re able to get up Tony stops you.

“Kid, we’re worried about you, especially after yesterday.” He starts once everyone has left the room.

You tilt your head as you sit up, you study his face for a moment as you wait for him to continue.

“Ok?” is all you say.

 “We think that for the time being it would be best if you sit out for some of the missions.”

You blink a few times as you process what you just heard. Brows drawn together as the weight of what Tony is saying finally registers. You frown as you look at him.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. Why is it that I’m being benched, because I went off on my own?” 

“You went through a lot and we want to make sure you’re ok. Take a few days to rest and then we’ll see where you’re at.”

After a few moments of silence you let out a humorless laugh. “You know what, Fine.” 

You leave quickly and quietly. You keep your steps light so you don’t alert the other’s that you’re out. Sam and Nat have stopped by your room to try and talk but you closed yourself off. Wanda brought you food and left it at the door along with some books Vision picked for you. Although Steve and Bucky haven’t tried to talk to you since the argument in the morning, you’ve heard their footsteps come close to the door to check that you were still there. You make it to your room and close the door laying on your bed face down.

“So, how long do you plan to ignore us for?” Nat says as she steps out of your bathroom and sits on your bed.

“Spies are the worst, you know that.”  say as you turn your head towards her.

“No we’re not. You’re just mad you didn’t know I was in here.”

“Yes I did, I could hear your heartbeat and smell your perfume.” you smirk up at her.

“So what’s going on, need me to kick someone’s ass?” She tries to lighten the mood but you both know the deeper meaning of the question.

“How much time do you have? I’ll make a list.” You smile as you turn to lay on your back. 

Your relationship with Nat has evolved so much. You started out as teammates, then slowly built up the friendship. You were quick to call each other best friends along with Wanda. Before you knew it you realized she was more than a best friend. She became the big sister you always wanted. You were very protective of each other and although she could hide her emotions well you had learned her tells, she did train you after all. Like at this very moment as she plays with your hair and looks down at you, her eyebrow slightly raised for just a moment before her eyes narrowed as she studied your face. She was pressing for answers gently, and she expected nothing but honesty. You would have to be delusional if you thought you could get a lie past her. 

“I know you know Bucky, Steve and I had an argument. Before you say anything I understand that they were worried about me, but I didn’t appreciate the way they ganged up on me.”

“I know. We all were worried about you. Especially them,” She raises her hand stopping you before you can say anything. “Don’t get me wrong I’m not excusing how they dealt with things this morning. I’m just saying that they let their emotions take over. I’ve never seen either of them care for someone like they do you. And I know you care about them just as much.”

“I do, I just-” you move up on your bed so that you are mirroring Nat. “I let my emotions take over too. I wasn’t expecting that to be their reaction and I got defensive I guess. I know what I did was reckless. But you know what it feels like right? To finally be able to take down the person that did this to you.” 

She nods in agreement giving you time to talk it out.

“But then he managed to get away, and now I’m benched. What more am I going to have to deal with in the next few hours.” 

“What?” she sits up straighter at that piece of information.

So she didn’t know.

“Tony benched me, told me to take a few days after everything that happened. Then we would see where I was at. I guess I can still work through the information and maybe find some leads for you.” you frown slightly. 

“Yeah that could work, it will at least keep you busy for a few hours a day.” she nods. “ What about the boys?”

“I’ll talk to them when I’m ready. I think if I saw them right now it would go about as well as it did this morning.” You shrug. 

“Good thinking, you come find me if you want to talk or hang out.” She pulls you in for a hug then she is out the door. 

On the other side of the hallway Bucky and Steve were waiting for Nat to come out of your room. They just wanted to know that you were ok, maybe even find out if you were willing to talk to them. Steve was leaning with his back against his door frame with his arms crossed against his chest, while Bucky sat on the floor leaning against the small sliver of concrete that separated their doors. His hands were on his laps and his legs were stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Their heads snapped towards your room as they heard the door open and then close. Nat looks over at them and shakes her head, giving them a sympathetic look before she walks down the hall and disappears. 

“Goodnight Steve.” Bucky says as he gets up and walks into his room.

“Goodnight Buck.” he replies as he retreats into his own. 

That night none of you got any real sleep. Tossing and turning and itching to go out and apologize but all three of you are too stubborn. 

You missed them.

It had been three days since the fight and for the first time you were thankful for your enhanced hearing. Using it to avoid them around the compound but it was getting tiring, you had no reason to avoid them and you missed them. You stopped going to the kitchen at 3:00 am for tea, when the team had movie night you stayed in your room, and you would always show up for dinner first or wait until everyone was done. Although you were still upset at some point you would have to face them, so as you finished getting ready for the day you decided that you wouldn’t go out of your way to avoid them anymore. It just so happened that as you opened the room to your door Bucky was standing in Steve’s doorway waiting for Steve and based on what he was wearing they were going to the gym. As your door opened neither of them could stop themselves from looking towards you, it was the first time they'd seen you in those three days. Relief washed over Bucky’s face as he looked at you just as Steve came up behind him. He seemed so tired, like he hadn’t been sleeping, and who were you trying to fool neither were you. Then the silence dragged on as the three of you looked at each other. 

“I’m sorry,” you finally said. “I’m sorry for-.” 

“You don’t need to apologize.” Bucky was quick to respond.

“Please.” You said before clearing your throat. “I’m sorry for the things I said a few days ago. I didn’t mean them, you were worried and I get that. It was reckless for me to go on my own. I didn’t know what kind of trouble I could have gotten in. But you have to understand that I felt like you ganged up on me and I really wasn’t expecting that, not from you.” You finish saying, while wringing your hands.

“We’re sorry too. Bucky and I just want to keep you safe. When we saw who you went after nothing else mattered except making sure you were ok.”

“We never meant to gang up on you. We were worried and we let our emotions get the better of us. We should have never spoken to you like that.” Bucky adds as Steve nods in agreement . “We are so sorry Pinky.” 

You tear up when you hear the nickname before nodding. Bucky quickly closes the distance and wraps you in his arms. His warmth soothing the persistent ache that had settled deep in your chest. So you closed your eyes and leaned your head against his chest like you did so many times before, then you felt more warmth surround you and you couldn’t help but open your eyes to see Steve hovering behind you. Close enough to feel the heat radiating off of him but not too close that his chest was pressed against your back. He was waiting for his turn to have you to himself. As Bucky released you Steve turned you around and pulled you in and wrapped his arms around your waist. 

“I’m sorry, I’ll do whatever you want to prove to you how sorry I am.” He says in a hushed tone as he rests his chin on top of your head. 

You felt so safe between them. You felt Bucky place his hand lightly against your back, drawing circles as a way to sooth you. The feelings you had towards both them started to bubble to the surface. The feelings you tried to push out of your mind and out of your heart were going to stay there. The need to be this close to them constantly. Wanting to kiss them and tell them you loved them. The ever growing need to take care of them and show them that after all they’ve been through they deserved happiness and love. You wanted to let them know that they would have someone to come home to on the best of days and someone to comfort them on the worst of days. Then there was the guilt, it wasn’t fair to any of you. At the end of the day it would be you who would be left picking up the pieces of your heart because they didn’t know you had seen them kiss. It didn’t take a genius to see the amount of love they shared and that if they had to choose, they would choose each other. So who were you to stand in the way? In that moment you realize that you have to step away to give them a chance or they will devote their time to taking care of you instead of each other.

“I think that it would be best if we gave each other some space.” You whisper as you step back from Steve’s embrace. 

“Pinky, hey what’s the matter? Is there something else?” Bucky places a hand on your bicep and moves it up and down.

“Please tell us, we’ll fix it whatever it is.” Steve adds. 

You take a deep breath and look at them. Two pairs of blue eyes, confused, sad and searching for answers look right into yours. You curse yourself for looking up at them.

“I just think that it would be for the best at the moment, for me.” You’re quick to say. The three of you stand in the middle of the hallway in silence. You will your feet to move because if they keep looking at you like that then your resolve will crumble. You’ll let them hold you and tell you everything will be ok and at this moment you don’t know that it will. 

“I’m sorry, I have to go.” You back away from them and turn practically running down the hallway and into the elevator. You close your eyes as a few tears escape. 

It’s for the best. It’s for their happiness. You repeat it to yourself. You take a deep breath as the elevator comes to a stop and you step out.

Steve and Bucky stood in the hallway for some time stunned at what just happened. Where did they go wrong? Was there something going on that they weren’t aware of? They didn't know what it was but they were going to find out and they were going to fix it because they refused to lose you. Bucky was the first to move, he walked back into his room and sat at the edge of the bed with Steve right behind him.

“Something has to be wrong, we’ve never fought before. What if she thinks I hate her?” Bucky asks. 

“No she doesn’t think you hate her, maybe it had something to do with what happened at the warehouse. What if her ex threatened her? She could be scared to tell us, especially after how we reacted in the kitchen.” Steve counters as he sits besides Bucky. 

“We still don’t know where she went that night either. Fuck, I hate not knowing. How am I- how are we supposed to keep her safe if she wants to stay away from us?” Bucky asks as he stands and begins to pace in his room. 

“We’ll figure it out. At least our rooms are in the same hall so we’ll be close if she needs us and it’s not like it’s just us, the whole team has her back.” Steve says as he stands and stops Bucky from pacing. 

“Let’s do what she asks for now and give her space while we figure out what’s going on. She’ll come around eventually.” 

“Trust me.” Steve says as he cups Bucky’s face with his hands. He closes the space between them and presses his lips against Bucky’s. Steve pushes Bucky against the wall. Steve moans as the kiss turns heated, their tongues fight for dominance. Both their hands explore each other’s body as Steve moves from Bucky’s lips leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw and on his neck. 

“Didn’t I tell you? You owe me $50 Romanoff and you better pay up.” Sam’s voice rings into the room. He’s standing in the doorway arms crossed over his chest, a grin gracing his face.

“Dammit, I’ll give you the money later.” Nat stands just behind Sam looking into the room at her friends who look like deer caught in headlights. Pink dusts both their cheeks as they create some space between themselves.

“Um, wha-“ Steve clears his throat. “What’s going on?”

“We were waiting for you at the gym, we were supposed to be training. I guess we didn’t get the one on one memo.” Nat says slightly amused. “Come on Sam, let's give them a minute.” 

“We should make sure the door is locked next time.” Steve says. 

“Next time? What, you think I’m easy?” Bucky asks playfully. “Let’s go and kick their asses for interrupting us punk.” 

“Yeah next time, we were barely getting started, jerk.” He smirks as he leaves the room behind Bucky. 

You make your way down the hallway into the analyst’s department and down the familiar row of desks to find Donovan, except he wasn’t at his desk. You groan as you pull out the chair from the desk next to him.

“She lives.” You jump slightly at the voice behind you. Looking over your shoulder you find Donovan with a cup of coffee in his hands. 

“Did I just catch you off guard?” He asks as he sits at his desk and turns his chair towards you. 

“Pfft, no.” You roll your eyes when you see him smiling. “Yes, maybe just a little.”

“This is a teeny tiny payback for all the times you’ve sneaked up on me.” 

“Except that I don’t sneak, you’re not aware of your surroundings.” You say.

“Yeah yeah, whatever you say, Anyways, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I was told there was a lot of information from the last flash drive I brought in, is there any chance you need an extra pair of eyes?” 

“I could always use the help, here I’m sending you some of the filtered information now, we are still cross referencing the buyers, sellers and products. In this report we are focusing on dates, locations and final money exchange.” He says as he pulls up various reports and shows you what exactly he’s working on. He sends you a copy of the reports and some of the files that still need to be added and you get to work. 

You’ve been sitting at the desk for hours working with Donovan. You move your head from side to side to get rid of some of the stiffness you’re feeling in your neck. Sitting back you watch the progress bar load slowly.

“Alright come on, coffee break.” He says as he gets up and stretches. 

“I’m ok, I’ll just keep going.” 

“Nope, you’re getting up, we are getting coffee and we are going to take a break outside. The files are going to be downloading for a while.” Donovan says as he turns your chair and tilts it forward, forcing you to get up.

 He places a hand by your lower back guiding you down the row of computers and out the door. You make it to the cafeteria at the compound and head to the small cafe that stands in the corner. You place your orders and move to the side to wait for your names to get called.

“So I heard that you found all the information by yourself, is it true?”

“Yeah, like four days ago. You were helping me with that other flash drive, remember?” 

He nods as you both move to pick up your drinks. He leads you out the double doors and towards a bench. 

“Well I ended up going to four of the locations that were listed and I found the information there.” You shrug.

“Someone also told me you went by yourself. Why did you do that?”

You sigh as you think about how to answer. “There was someone I knew on the list and I wanted to bring him in. Unfortunately he got away.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Don’t worry though we’ll catch him again.” He winks as he takes a sip of his drink.

“So Donovan,” 

“Henry.” He says as he cuts you off.

“What?” You look at him confused.

“My first name is Henry.”

“Oh, why didn’t you tell me before?” 

He shrugs “I don’t know. I consider us friends so why use my last name.” 

“Ok, Henry it is.” You smile at him. Looking back out, you see recruits running in formation.

“So what were you going to say before?” 

“I was going to ask, Henry, how did you get into computers?” you ask in order to keep your mind off of everything else.

“Well both my parents worked when I was younger and that meant I was home alone and bored. So one Christmas they gave me a computer. They thought that I’d have a few games in there or whatever then one day my mom came home early and found me in the living room with the computer putting it back together.” 

You looked at him wide eyed. “You broke your computer?” 

“No, I took it apart to see how it worked,” he chuckled. “I was successful in putting it back together. So my love for computers and everything I do now started from that moment on.” 

You hummed in response, enjoying the last bit of warmth the sun gave. You tilt your head back and take a deep breath when you hear Henry’s voice again.

“So I was Um,” he clears his throat. “I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out sometime?” 

“To hang out?”

Shaking his head, “No, I mean go out on a date.” 

“Oh- oh.” Is all you manage to say. For a moment you are already thinking of what excuse to give him because you aren’t sure you’re ready for dating. You just happen to look over his shoulder to see a certain blue eyed blond hair super soldier walk around the corner of the building, recruits following behind him and you remember you need to move on.

“I would love to.”

CH. 7

[kaunis-sielu]

Fire Dogs

The fires had been blazing for weeks now, inching closer and closer to your home and firefighters were pouring in. You’d decided to stay, the fire was mostly moving away from town, thank god. The mayor had said that people who were willing to stay and help care for the hordes of firefighters pouring into town were appreciated. So even though you were a single Omega, you’d signed up. You could take in 2-6 firefighters depending on if they were willing to share a bed with one another and if you needed to sleep on the couch. You’d been assigned 3 men, all from New York City, one a Captain and all of them Alphas.

When you open the door as they walk up your sidewalk the first, a man with light hair and blue eyes, gives you a tight smile.

“Hi, welcome. I have a dog, is that okay?” The three men don’t even have to look at one another before all nodding yes. “Great, come on in.” You move out of the doorway and the three men come into the house.

“Thank you so much for opening your home to us.” The first man says, god he smells good, like sandalwood and lavender.

“It’s the least I could do.” You introduce yourself as your dog comes trotting into the room, Cooper’s tail wagging wildly. “But you can call me Fawn, and this is Cooper.”

“Sorry, I’m Steve Rogers, this is Bucky Barnes and Sam Wilson.” The first man says introducing himself and the two men with him.

“It’s a pleasure. I’ll show you guys to your rooms.” You lead them upstairs and show them each to a room. Bucky takes your first spare room, Sam the second and Steve is in the master.

“Buck, you’ve got third shift, Sam you’re on first and I’m on second.”

“Do we start today?” Bucky asks as you make your way downstairs, you were given a small packet for the guys, things you would need to know like allergies, presentation, emergency contacts and dietary restrictions. All three are simple, no dietary issues, no allergies, Alphas, Sam has his wife Carol as his emergency contact but Steve and Bucky, or James as he’s listed, both have Rebecca Barnes, Bucky’s sister.

You get started on dinner and Sam wanders down into the kitchen bringing his

“So, why didn’t you leave town?”

“Nowhere to go. And the fire is heading away from here so hopefully everything will stay away from town.”

“The smoke doesn’t bother you?”

“I mean it’s not great but as long as Coop and I are okay I plan on staying. I’ve got some stuff packed up in my car and ready to go but I just haven’t pulled the trigger yet.”

“That’s fair. We do really appreciate you doing this. Letting us stay here.” He’s got such a soothing presence about him that you forget he’s an Alpha until his scent washes over you.

“It’s the least I can do,” you tell him with a smile, “so what does first shift mean?”

“Oh, it’s the really early shift, like 4am. Steve will be out running a crew since he’s a Captain back home and he’s around 10am then Bucky is 4pm.”

“What will I need for you in the morning? Breakfast? Coffee? Energy bars?”

“Coffee would be great. I usually take it with milk.” You jot down coffee and milk on a sheet of paper.

“How do the other two take their coffee?”

“Barnes likes it black, like a psychopath and Steve likes it with cream and sugar so he can’t taste the coffee.” You laugh and jot down creamer.

“Any chance you know what kind of creamer he likes?”

“Caramel I think.”

“I can always ask him too. I’ll set the coffee to go off at 3:15 for you.”

“Thank you.” Sam says as he sits down at the island. “What are you making for dinner?”

“Spaghetti. I make the sauce from scratch, from the garden.”

“It smells great.”

“Thanks, should be about a half hour. I’ve got meatballs in the oven and will have some garlic bread and green beans from my garden too.”

“You’re going to spoil us huh?” He says with a grin and you laugh, hoping that your suppressants work like they’re supposed to and keep you presenting as a Beta.

“I don’t get to cook for others often so I’m being a little selfish. Let me know if you need anything from town or want me to get anything. I’ll go shopping for the week tomorrow.”

“Are they paying you to host us?”

“No, but I don’t mind getting you guys stuff.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely, I wouldn’t offer if it was a problem.” You assure him and after studying you he nods.

“I’ll be sure to let the guys know.” You chat with Sam while you cook. You learn that his wife Carol is an Alpha and a doctor. The Alpha/Alpha pair is uncommon but if it works for them that’s wonderful. You also learn that he, Bucky and Steve served together and that Carol had outranked all three.

It seems that Steve has always been the one to lead their little trio, and when the smell of dinner lures him and Bucky down you include them in the conversation. Bucky, whose scent is oranges and cedar wood, is more chatty and flirty than Steve is but there’s this quiet strength about Steve that’s impossible not to notice.

Sam goes to bed immediately after dinner but Steve and Bucky stay up and watch the news with you. You set the coffee machine for Sam and leave him a note to help himself to anything he wants to eat. Then you bring Cooper outside, he wanders your wildfire lit backyard, the orange glow is spooky and the smell of smoke is thick in the air.

“Come on Coop, it’s bedtime.” You tell him leading him to the living room. Both Steve and Bucky are gone so you change into your pajamas and get ready for bed in the bathroom then head back to the couch where Cooper is laying dead center. “Move it Coop.” He grumbles but gets down, once you’re settled you let him back up on the couch between your feet.

You wake up as Sam closes the fridge.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says softly. When he turns and sees you sitting up on the couch.

“No it’s okay.” You tell him as Cooper hops off of the couch. You follow him to the back door and let him out.

“Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

“They needed three more beds so I gave them three more beds.”

“We put you out of your room?” He asks with a small frown.

“I sleep more on the couch anyway, I usually fall asleep to one baking show or another.” You tell him with a sleepy smile, you hadn’t meant to tell them they’d taken all your beds but it was too late now.

“This is your home.”

“Seriously Sam don’t worry about it.” You say letting Cooper back into the house. “Be safe.”

“Thanks.” He says and you go back to bed on the couch.

The next time you wake it’s 9:00 and you want to make sure that you’ve got something ready for Bucky and Steve for breakfast so you get up. You feed Cooper then let him out again, if there wasn’t the fire you’d let him stay outside as long as he wanted. You sit down on the couch and pull your tablet into your lap. Cooper joins you on the couch as you start to draw your characters.

“Morning.” Steve’s voice is low and soft when he greets you.

“Good morning. There are pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns and bacon in the oven. The pans will be warm.”

“Thanks,” you hear him help himself to food and coffee then he comes out into the living room. “Do you mind if I join you?”

“Not at all. Don’t let Coop fool you into any food though.”

“No people food for him?”

“Just some fruit and veggies.” You tell him glancing up at the fire captain. “So Sam said you guys were on a 4-10-4 start time but what time are you all home?”

“We’re doing 12 hour shifts, so Sam and Buck don’t overlap but I will with both.”

“Okay, I’ll have dinner ready when you get back. Is there anything that I don’t have that you need? Sam said you liked a certain flavor of creamer.”

“The French vanilla is fine.”

“He said caramel?” You glance over at him again and he has this little shy smile on his face. “I don’t mind, I need to go get groceries anyway.”

“Caramel is my favorite.” He admits and you nod then get back to your drawing. He finishes his breakfast in silence then puts his dishes into the dishwasher, Steve heads back upstairs and you hear him finish getting ready before he comes back down.

“Be safe.”

“Thanks.” He says before closing the door softly behind him.

Bucky sleeps until almost noon, you’ve taken breakfast out of the oven and put it in the fridge. He somehow looks groggy still and you’re worried he didn’t sleep well.

“Good morning.”

“Morning. How are you?” His voice is low and husky.

“Good. Did you sleep okay?”

“Yea I slept great. I could still be asleep to be honest but I might get called in early.”

“Why?”

“There are less guys at base camp right now. Apparently a group of them had some trouble on the way? I don’t know but Steve called.”

“Breakfast is in the fridge if you wanna heat it otherwise I have lunch meat and stuff for sandwiches.”

“I love breakfast food.” He says making his way to the fridge. He starts a cup of coffee then opens the fridge.

You find out that Bucky is a chatter. Which is fine but you’re glad that you’re illustrating today rather than writing because there’s no way you’d be able to focus on writing. He asks you about living in the small town, how you ended up here, about your job, when he finds out you’re an author and illustrator of children’s books he promises to buy his niece a couple books. You tell him to leave his address and you’ll send him a signed copy of the one you’re working on, he excitedly does.

When he leaves at 3:30, not being called in early, you take a break and start on dinner. You want to make sure you’ve got food ready for Sam when he gets back.

Sam comes in at 4:45, Cooper barks excitedly and Sam sinks to the ground and Cooper immediately calms allowing Sam to wrap his arms around him. You don’t say anything, just continue to cook while Sam hugs Cooper to him. You hear him talking softly but you ignore him, whatever he’s saying to Coop is none of your business.

“I’m gonna go take a shower before I eat.” Sam says at full volume, the side of his face still pressed to Cooper’s side.

“That’s fine,” you assure him, “I’ve got about twenty minutes before the rice is done.”

“Okay.” He disappears then Cooper comes wandering into the kitchen. You give him a couple of treats and tell him what a good boy he is.

Sam eats in silence then goes up to his room, you’re pretty sure he goes to bed by 7 but after the day he’s had you can’t blame him.

At 10 you start reheating food for when Steve comes in. Sure enough, 10:30 rolls in and so does Steve. Cooper greets Steve with a wagging tail, Steve gives him a little pat and heads upstairs. You hear the shower turn on and after around 10 minutes Steve is back dropping down on the couch as Cooper puts a head in his lap. Steve absently pets Cooper and you place a plate of food in front of him.

“Thank you.” His tired eyes meet yours and he gives you a little half smile.

“It’s the least I can do.” You tell him sincerely. Cooper stays with his head in Steve’s lap until Steve goes upstairs to bed. You set up your bed on the couch and set your alarm for 3:30 in the morning so you can get food heated for Bucky and coffee and food started for Sam.

You fall asleep still smelling Steve on your couch.

Tag list:

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[bambirex]

Hi I have this request that I been thinkingabout it for a while, so how about a fic where Eddie didn't go to a party at Steve's because he is sick, and so Max went skateboarding and explained to Steve that Eddie is super sick, so after hearing that his boyfriend is super sick, he wanted to drive fast to his home but he had to take Nancy, Robin and Dustin, so they go dirctly to his room where he is laying all sick and Nancy and Steve start fighting about who gets to cuddle Eddie, because they love cuddling Eddie and hugging him and they always discuss about how cute Eddie is, but is Robin who got to cuddle Eddie, and Dustin makes fun of Nancy and Steve and Steve is like wtf I should be the one cuddling Eddie he is my boyfriend and so for the rest of the week Nancy Robin and Steve try to fight for Eddie's attention but is Dustin who ends up taking care of Eddie

Warnings: none

**

"Steve Harrington leaving his own house party to take care of his sick boyfriend? Who would have thought we would ever get to this point?"

"Shut up, Henderson," Steve groaned, grabbing the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white. Thank God he hasn't started drinking yet and so he could drive; though, he would have rushed to see Eddie even if he were completely drunk.

He was worried sick when Eddie didn't show up, despite him promising he would come over. Just when Steve was about to go into the worst panic attack of his life, Max showed up at his doorstep on her skateboard, explaning that Eddie got very sick, and he sent her to get the message to Steve.

Steve wanted to be with Eddie as quickly as possible, but Nancy, Robin and Dustin all jumped on him, insisting they come along, too. This was a good test on his patience, as he had to listen to their constant teasing on the way.

"You're whipped, dude," Robin chuckled. "But I get it, though."

"We need to take care of him, Wayne is out of town," Nancy sighed. "We need to make him soup, and tea..."

"You mean I need to do that," Steve snorted as he parked his car at the Munsons' trailer. "Considering I'm his "whipped" boyfriend."

Poor Eddie surely didn't look too well as he lay on the couch with a damp towel over his forehead. His cheeks were pale, but he still managed a smile when he saw his friends coming inside.

"What are you guys doing here?" he croaked weakly. "Shouldn't you be at the party?"

"Max told us you're sick," Steve explained, shrugging off his jacket quickly. "I wanted to come see you as quickly as I could."

"Aww, that's adorable, but I didn't ask Max to tell you because I needed to be taken care of."

"Bullshit, you also need cuddles!" Robin cheered, all but jumping onto the couch and wrapping herself around Eddie like a koala.

"Robin!" Steve huffed, offended. "I should be the one cuddling him!"

"Or me, since I give the best cuddles," Nancy cut in. "We can nurse him back to health in no time."

Steve rolled his eyes. He walked over to the couch, awkwardly leaning over Robin who was still clinging to Eddie and kissed his boyfriend on the lips. He touched his cheek, frowning when he felt how hot it was to the touch.

"Shit, you have a fever. I'm getting you some medicine quick."

"Huh, not sure we have anything at home, to be honest," Eddie chucked, a little embarrassed. "I don't get sick very often..."

He let out a soft "oof" sound when Nancy joined the cuddle pile on the couch. Steve let out another offended gasp.

"Nancy! Robin! Leave him alone!"

"Don't be jealous, Stevie," Robin cooed. "We're just trying to heal your sick boyfriend."

"Hello, you just said he is my boyfriend!"

"Yeah, that doesn't mean only you get to cuddle him," Nancy shot at him. "He is my friend, too."

"But not your boyfriend, Nancy!"

"Why are you being so selfish?"

"Jesus, you guys," Eddie chuckled. He weakly pushed the two girls off of him. "I have enough of me to share."

"Ridiculous," Dustin snorted. "You would think only Steve is the whipped one, and yet..."

Eddie sighed deeply as an orchestra of offended yells and gasps filled the air, making the pounding of his head even worse. Hoping to placate at least his boyfriend, he pulled Steve close and gave him a kiss on the lips. That finally made Steve shut up, but his eyes were still shooting arrows at Nancy.

*

For the rest of the week, they basically moved into Eddie's trailer to look after him.

Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. It was mostly Steve and Nancy fighting over who gets to cuddle and nurse Eddie back to health.

Of course, Steve insisted he should be the only one there in the first place, as he literally dated Eddie. Nancy proudly claimed the "mom friend" title and told Steve that she was pretty much the key to Eddie's survival.

Meanwhile, Eddie had the time of his life watching his boyfriend and his friend fight each other to death over him. Hilariously enough, Steve and Nancy were so busy arguing, that they didn't even notice Dustin has taken their place on the couch, snuggled up to Eddie with a smug expression.

"Losers," he chuckled, way too amused by the entire situation. Eddie laughed, shaking his head.

"Well, I don't mind too much. Guess that means they love me a lot."

That finally made the other two turn their way. At least they looked a little embarrassed (but also offended when they realized Dustin filled the role of the cuddler).

"Sorry about that," Steve chuckled awkwardly. "We really just wanted to take care of you."

"You have a better chance at that if you calm down," Eddie laughed, cupping Steve's cheek. Steve leaned into his touch with a smile.

In the end, they managed to take turns cuddling and helping Eddie until he was healthy again, and luckily no blood was spilled.

[mysticalrambling]

Hey there😄😄I hope you are doing well...You did my last request so fabulously🤩🤩So I'm back with another request😅😅It's another arranged marriage request and I think its the most bizarre request I ever had so please be patient with me😂😂 and you can decline the request if you don't feel so😅😅...Ok so here it goes..

*Steve and y/n are required to get married under the marriage law, he doesn't wants to but being the good soldier he obeys the government....they get married but steve is cold towards his wife...his teammates tell him to give his marriage a chance but he ignores them...Then the accords happen and without a care he leaves his wife behind who is heartbroken seeing all this..Then after 2 years he sees her but again he feels nothing but after the snap when he saw losses around him and he gives his marriage a second chance, he starts being civil to his wife and cares for her but they never consumated their marriage...When the time heist becomes successful Steve consumates his marriage with the reader out of happiness and she thinks all is well...Everyone returns from snap and no one dies...But steve returns the stones and stays in the past and old steve comes back.... Heartbroken Y/n refuses to meet him and leaves the compound...turns out she was pregnant with Steve's baby and doesn't wants the old steve to know so...One day old steve sees pregnant y/n who is around 7 months pregnant and realises its his baby, he apologizes but she ignores and turn away from him... He goes to get help from Scott bcz he wants to be with his wife and son now bcz he and Peggy couldn't have kids, everyone thought steve was selfish...But then he tells the truth that he never wanted to stay in past, but when he went to say goodbye to peggy, she abducted him and broke the timetravel apparatus and forced him to stay in the past...Young Steve comes back and now his son is born who is around 8 months old...He attempts to get back with his family but his wife still ignores him and doesn't let him come near her or her son...Steve regrets for not loving his wife in the past and also volunteering for returning the stones...Then one day powerbroker (Sharon) blasts the house where steve's family lived thus killing his family, in way to revenge her aunty peggy...Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret....*

Regretting His Decisions (S.R)

A/N: Thank you so much lovely and I loved the plot line. I loved writing about it and I made a few additions to the story. Hope you like it.

Steve Rogers Fanfiction (Fanfiction Master List)

Summary: You and Steve get married and he is really rude to you. Then he leaves you behind and goes back to Peggy but he doesn’t realise that you are pregnant. However, Sharon kills you and the baby to avenge her Aunt Peggy and Steve is left with nothing but pain and regret.

Warnings: Angst all the way.

._._._._.

Steve never wanted to marry you or anyone else for that matter. But the government wanted it and like a good Captain, he listened to them. It was the stupid law and he wanted to wring the neck of those who made it. The protectors of the world had to get married so that the world sees them as fellow citizens instead of humans with super powers.

All the Avengers knew that Steve was hesitant to get married and he was doing out of duty. They knew that it was unfair but they all had met you. They all loved you instantly and knew that you and Steve would hit it off. However, the only problem was that he refused to meet you. The only thing that he knew about you was your name and your job occupation. Apparently, it wasn’t worth his time to get to know his to be wife.

“You need to give it a proper chance before you form an opinion.” It was the night of your bachelor party and while everyone is blackout drunk, Steve and Tony just sat on the side couch. For a person who was getting married tomorrow, Steve looked miserable and Tony couldn’t help but interfere.

“I am doing my job and that’s all that matters.” Taking a quick sip from his glass, he didn’t even wince at the liquid burning his throat.

Sighing, Tony filled up his glass again. A drunk Steve was better than a sober one, in his opinion. “A marriage is not a job and you need to try harder.”

“You don’t get to have an opinion, Tony. You got the perfect girl and the perfect wedding.” Jealousy coursed through his veins when he realised that everyone got to be with the love of their loves while he was stuck with someone who he barely knew.

Tony was left speechless and before he could come up with a response, Steve got up from his place and made his way towards his room. Calling it a night, he dreaded the next morning. He was happy for all of his friends but he also wanted to fall in love over first coffee dates, first movie nights, the first kiss and the moment he proposed because he loved you. Not because he was obligated too.

“You ready, Stevie?” Bucky was trying to be supportive but the headache was killing him. The tequila was literally seeping out of his pores. “How are you not hungover right now?”

“I didn’t drink like a maniac last night.” Adjusting his bow tie, he took a deep breath. This was the most difficult thing that he was going to do in his life and he just wanted to be left alone for sometime. “Can I have a moment alone?”

“Are you going to run if we leave you alone?”

“I am not a quitter and you all know that.” They all filed out of the room and he just sat down on the sofa and gave himself a prep talk.

You were no better on the other hand but you were ready to give it a try. Captain America was a good man and he would make a good husband. At least, that’s what you thought. You understood that the marriage was not happening under the best of circumstances but you could give it a fair chance. Taking a deep breath, you went to join your father on the doorway. He gave you a tearful smile and linked his hands with you.

“Do you take Steve Rogers as your lawfully wedded husband?” The minister asked the much awaited question and you quietly responded with an ‘I do’. During the whole ceremony, you wanted him to look at you but his eyes kept wandering. You passed it off as nerves but little did you know that he was so repulsed by the idea of this marriage that he refused to look at his wife to be.

“You guys are finally married. Treat her well, Rogers.” Fury took you both in a bear hug while your husband just hummed in response. You were like a daughter to Fury and that is why he recommended you as Steve’s spouse. He knew that Steve was an honorable man so he would fulfill all his duties as a husband.

The whole night was spent with you both smiling and engaging in conversations with the guests. However, you both made minimum effort to talk to each other except a few stolen glances. Your feet were killing you by the end of the event but you were never the one to complain. A look of relief appeared on your face when Steve announced an end to the event and thanked everyone for coming.

“Come on.” Hurriedly meeting his steps, you sat in to the passenger seat and those were the last words that were exchanged between you. When you entered the house, he took you straight to a guest room and then left. Whatever expectations that you had for tonight were crushed and so you went to bed with tears in your eyes and your wedding dress still on you.

During the next few weeks, Steve didn’t even glance at you but whenever you made an effort to do something nice for him, he shot you off. He was not willing to give it a chance and for the first few times that you made him dinner, he just picked it up and threw it in to the trash. You were never allowed in to his room and you learned it the hard way.

One day, you just wanted to put his laundry in to his room because he was not home yet. What was the harm? But boy, were you wrong. He came home early that day and he bursted at you the moment he saw you in his room. He called you some very mean things that you do not even want to recall. That night, you cried so much that your entire pillow was soaked but you didn’t want to leave him. You were in love with him way before you were married. He was the guy who saved the world and he was a good and an ethical man. Maybe he wasn’t nice to you but he was a good man and you couldn’t disagree with that.

It wasn’t that you needed a man in your life or you were dependent on him. It was that you had feelings for the man and your parents never raised you to be a quitter. You were still hoping that it all may be alright in a few days or weeks and you could have a family together. She knew that she had to be realistic but sometimes a girl wanted hope.

“I won’t be coming home for a few days.” At least he had the courtesy to tell you this time that he was going. "I have asked some of the agents to check up on you daily so if you need anything, just ask them."

"Okay." You quickly dismissed his questioning stare because he thought that you would ask questions. However, you knew that he would be rude and you would snap at him this time. A girl could only handle so much.

A week had passed and you got daily updates from Liam and Noah regarding the civil war. You still couldn’t believe that Tony and Steve were fighting because you witnessed their friendship firsthand. They had just informed you that Steve and his team were arrested by the government and shipped off to a black sight. You wanted to go to Fury and ask him to release all of them but Liam told you that it wouldn’t work. It was out of his hands.

“What do you mean?” You couldn’t believe your ears right now. Fury came by your house instead of Liam and Noah. He informed you that Chris and the other Avengers escaped from the prison and no one knows their location. Hurt was one of the most evident feeling running through your body and you didn’t know how to respond. How could he leave without telling you anything? How could he just leave?

“There will be some investigations on you but it would be nothing serious.”

“Why?” You exclaimed.

“The government is convinced that you know their location. It will blow over in sometime.”

“I am not going to sacrifice my freedom for someone who wasn’t even bothered to tell me about all this.” The hurt quickly turned into rage.

“But (Y/N)-”

“Tell all of them that I will not be doing anything and that you all should leave me alone.” You stood up and Fury took it as his cue.

Closing the door, you don’t let yourself ponder over the throbbing ache in your chest and instead get to packing. You were going to move out of this house and leave this life in the past. You moved into your parents house and immediately shot down their questions about Steve. There was a bookstore across from a studio apartment that Tony helped you find in the next few days. You loved books and the job paid pretty well. Soon, you forgot all about Steve and your failed marriage. Of course, there were feelings that you had to bury deep inside of you but you successfully managed to move on with your life.

“Have you heard, munchkin? Cap is back.” Tony shuffled your hair as he entered the library.. Pausing for a minute to absorb his words, you got right back into arranging the magazine section. It was the last thing that you had to do before you got off for the night.

“I don’t care. Are we still on for the night?”

“Yes. Pepper is cooking for the first time. Just say that you like the food.” From the past two years, Tony has been your person. He was the one who ordered you food when you were feeling too low or who massaged your feet when you had feet sores from lugging around books all day. You were thankful to have him in your life because he was not there to support you financially, he was there to support you emotionally. Sometimes, you felt so alone that you thought you might go into depression. But he was there to pull you back and so was Pepper. They were your family.

“Okay, Tony. I already know.” Quite a few things have changed over the years such as you changing your hair color to low lights and getting bangs. You changed your sense of style and. now you were pretty much unrecognizable. It was all in hope of leaving the past and turning over a new leaf. And you were somewhat successful.

“So how was the food?”

“Awesome!” The fake, shrill voice was hard to recognise, even for you but you didn’t want to hurt Pepper’s feelings.

“I know it was not good so I ordered some pizza as a back up.”

“I love you.” A chorus sounded from Tony and you as you both hugged her and kissed her on either cheek.

“Yeah, yeah.” She quickly dismissed you both but the cheeky grin on her face was hard to hide. You called it a night when you started feeling sleepy and you said your goodbyes. Your apartment was only two blocks away so you decided to take a walk to clear your head. Steve had been on your mind since the time Tony mentioned that he was back. As much as you wanted to believe that his arrival didn’t effect you, you couldn’t deny all the feelings that came rushing back in.

“Robbins Library, how may I help you?” Without looking up, you asked the question in a fake, chirpy voice.

“Why are you not at the house?” The voice startled you from your receipt checking and you gave him a confused look. As you had time to process the question, you looked over his appearance. More muscular and a fully grown beard was an interesting look and definitely suited him.

“Well, it was not mine to begin with.”

“I left you that house so you would be comfortable.”

“I am doing just fine without it. You know, I didn’t need anything from you but love and respect.”

Steve was trying to do something nice for you but he didn’t understand you. He felt nothing towards you even if he tried. Guilt coursed through him when he saw the look of hurt on your face but he couldn’t do anything about it. “That is too much.”

“Well, I deserve it and I am not going to settle for anything less.” This time, the brain won the battle and you were secretly glad. You resumed your work and he left without saying another word.

The city was in chaos in a few days because there was an alien invasion in place. The Avengers were all over the problem but Pepper and you were panicked. However, the only difference was that she could ask about Tony’s whereabouts and you couldn’t do that for your husband. There were no updates for you and when Noah came to get you both with a battered suit, you were worried.

Walking towards the tower, you realised that many people were crying but the most important thing was that it looked like half of the population was gone. There were a lot of things that you didn’t understand right now but only one thing mattered. One person. Steve. You ran towards the tower and when you saw him sitting on a chair with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” The logical part of your brain started working right on time.

“We couldn’t prevent the snap and Thor escaped.”

You didn’t know what it all meant but it was definitely something bad. “So what does it mean?”

“It means that half of the human population have disappeared. It means that half of our friends, families, loved ones have disappeared. It means that I have failed!”

“Why are you getting angry at me?”

“Just leave me alone.”

“Do not speak to me like that. I do not deserve it. When you are in the right frame of mind, come talk to me.” You were not the person that suffered silently. You were the person who knew. what she wanted and how she should be treated.

Going outside, you called your parents but it just went to voicemail. However, busy they might have been, they always picked up their phone. So you knew that they were gone too. You were alone in this world and you didn’t know what to do. In the far distance, you saw Tony and Pepper hugging and you were happy to see that your best friend was not gone.

With tears running down your eyes, you turned back and collided into a firm chest. Looking up, you saw Steve and you just wanted someone to be with you right now. That’s what Steve also wanted because he felt like a failure right now. He wanted to give the marriage another chance as he thought that it was a miracle that you both were still here after the snap. It was not fair on you but he just needed someone and so did you. It was a fair trade.

“I just don’t want to be alone right now, Steve.”

“Me too. Let’s go upstairs.” You both just silently hugged each other and kept staring out into the Manhattan skyline. You knew that he didn’t have any feelings towards you and you cared about that. But not today. Today, you wanted to just lie down and soak up in his presence because he was the only one left for you.

He brought you breakfast in bed the next morning and he took you to all the meetings. You were confused as to why he was doing all of it and when you asked him, his answer was ‘I am trying’. You didn’t get your hopes high because you knew that it would be pathetic. This was going to be temporary and you just knew it. However, you just wanted a companion so you rolled with the situation.

“We can work around quantum physics and get all of our friends back.” He informed you over the ice cream that you were sharing. A Netflix movie ran in the background because it was a Saturday and it was a routine for you both.

“That’s a really good thing.”

“We are going to do it tomorrow.”

“Nice. I am going to bed. Are you coming?” He mumbled out a small yes and picked up all the dishes to put them in the sink.

The whole day tomorrow you clinged by your phone and called your parent’s number after every fifteen minutes. You looked crazy by the end of the day but when they finally picked up, you couldn’t explain the joy that coursed through your whole body. Talking to them for hours, you promised that you would visit them and you cancelled the call.

Steve came back with a bottle of wine in his hands to celebrate. “We were successful. The world is saved. Cheers!”

“Cheers!” Both your happiness knew no bounds and after a few many glasses, you both were dancing to Taylor Swift songs. By the end of the night, you two were truly drunk and one thing led to another. You woke up the next morning with sheets wrapped around your frame and the pillow beside you crumpled but cold. You regretted the night so much because you knew that he did not have the same feelings for you.

The whole day, you spent cleaning the apartment as there were empty bottles of alcohol laying around. Then you went to the library and today was a busy day because many people wanted an update for the past five years of their lives. It kept you distracted from everything and when Tony came in, it was like the past repeating itself. He told you that Steve went to place the stones back but he came back as old.

You stopped listening to him after sometime as your mind tried to process what was happening. He betrayed you. Again. You were preparing yourself for the hurt whole day but this was totally unexpected. You knew what to do so it was a good thing. Detach yourself from the situation and do damage control. That was your motto for the next seven months and you refused to meet him even after you found out you were pregnant.

“You are in the mood of some ice cream with pickles, hmm little bean?” Rubbing your round belly, you walked towards the snacks aisle. The flavored pickle was on the top shelf but it was out of your reach. A wrinkly hand from behind picked up the jar and when you turned around to thank him, your voice was stuck in your throat. There stood your husband but the older version. The wrinkled face still held some similarities to the young captain but he had a slight hunch and grey hair.

“(Y/N), is that you? Are you- You are pregnant?” The question in his eyes was pretty evident.

“Seven months.” You curtly spoke and wheeled the trolly towards the check out. He quickly figured out the timeline and felt guilty. It was his baby and he left you alone. He caught up to you when you were bagging the groceries.

“I am sorry, (Y/N). I didn’t know. If I could change everything, I would. Please give me another chance.”

“You chose Peggy so you don’t get to come back in my life. Leave us alone. It would be a favor for this child if he never gets to know you.” Telling him off made you feel a whole lot better and you went towards your car.

Seeing you leave, Steve knew that he had to make things right. He went to the compound where all the Avengers were lounging around.

“I thought you had retired, Cap.” Peter called out from playing his video game with Bucky.

“I want your help, Scott. I want to go back to my old self.”

“Why, Captain? Got bored of the grandfather look?” Tony asked while stuffing his mouth with buttered popcorn.

“No. I just found out that my wife is pregnant and I want to be there for them.”

“That’s sweet but why? You already had your chance with Peggy.” Natasha wasn’t very happy with Steve right now but they all had the same question running through their minds.

“Peggy and I couldn’t have kids.”

“So you are using (Y/N) and this kid as a replacement. That’s just selfish, Steve.” Everyone gave him a disgusted look because they couldn’t believe that he was just using you and the child to fill a hole in his life. Not because he loved you both.

“That’s not true. I didn’t want to stay in the past with Peggy but she forced me to. She broke the time machine apparatus and I had no other choice but to accept that life.” He looked at all of them and saw that they all were listening to him. “I made a time machine the whole time I was there and when it was complete, I got the hell out of there.”

“Oh, Steve. We are so sorry. Of course, we will all help you.” Hugging him tight, Nat spoke on behalf of all the others. The machine was all ready to go so Steve stood in the middle of it with Scott. They had to go back and fixed the machine’s timing and it would take some months to do all that.

Meanwhile, you got back home and unpacked all the groceries. Your hormones were running wild at the moment as you sat on the sofa with your swollen feet on the coffee table. You wanted a companion sometimes who would massage your back or who would call you pretty when you were feeling insecure about yourself or who would bring you food at four a.m. But this was a dream and you gave up on it a long time ago. You were enough for your baby and that was a fact.

When Steve came back, 10 months had passed by. You had given birth to a beautiful baby boy after a 21 hour labour. You cried and even though you had your mom with you, you still called out for Steve. You wanted him with you and afterwards, when you held that boy in your hand, you wanted Steve to be there with you to enjoy the moment. However, it was the last time his name even came out of your month.

“Oliver, you need to eat, bubba.” The last 8 months have been a rollercoaster ride for you and you knew through Tony and Pepper that Steve had gone back in time. You didn’t bother with the details because you had another human being to worry about.

“Nooooo.” This one word was the kid’s favorite and everyone of his sentence started with it. You were interrupted in the middle by the doorbell. Picking up your child from the high chair, you made your way through the house towards the door.

“What are you doing here?” Steve looked the same age as you so you knew that the time machine trip was successful. But you saw red. He didn’t deserve you or Oliver.

“(Y/N), is- is that him?” The blubbering baby did not even pay attention to his father and kept on pulling your hair. He was an exact replica of Steve from the dirty blonde hair to the charming smile. A literal reminder for you but you loved this little boy to death.

“Yes and now go away. We don’t need you.” Looking at the baby, he regretted the day he made the decision to be the one to return the stones. He regretted the fact that he did not allow himself to love you. He regretted everything. “Do not come near us. Goodbye.”

You went on with your week as per usual with feeding Ollie in the morning and taking him to the library with you where he had his own play pen. Then getting light lunch across the street and coming back home to take a nap for a few hours. Afterwards, you both ate dinner while Oliver’s favorite cartoons played on the tv. Except for the fact that Steve was at your house, your job and your cafe from the day he came back. He tried to apologize but the years that you spent in agony was too much. It was too little, too late.

It was a Sunday afternoon and by some miracle, Steve had left you alone. He had a meeting with the other Avengers regarding Asgard today. You were just playing with Oliver on his mat as he tried to crawl towards the stuffed toys in your hands. Before you picked him up, you thought that you smelt gas. However, a loud explosion threw you in to the nearest wall and you knew that your time was here. During the last few breaths, you tried to find Oliver but you couldn’t move. Mentally calling out for Steve, your gaze became unfocused and you lost conscious.

“Wha-What happened?” Steve knew that there was a bomb blast and he wanted to hope against all hope that you both were safe. However, the two body bags wheeled out of the burnt down house had him fall to his knees.

“There was an explosion and we caught Agent Sharon fleeing the scene.”

Sharon had confessed that she wanted to have revenge on Steve for cheating on her aunt Peggy. The new family that Steve had was a disgrace to her Aunt’s memories so she murdered them. She had gone a little crazy because Peggy was the one who take care of her when she was a child and she felt that Steve betrayed her.

Steve didn’t know what to do with his life at the moment. He was left all alone and his family was snatched away from him. He didn’t get a chance to be with them and now he was left with nothing but pain and regret. Trying to convince Fury to let him go back in time and prevent the explosion was futile because Fury just told him that this would upset the balance of nature. He didn’t understand it at first but then as time passed, he did. All the toys and photos that were salvaged from the house now decorated Steve’s very lonely apartment and he never let himself forget.

This was his punishment and he was not going to run away from it. Not this time.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved writing about Steve but I am no longer taking requests for some days. I actually have some of my drafts that I want to complete. You can send in requests but it will take some days for me to get to them:) Love you guys and do tell me if you want to be added to my taglist.

Taglist: @kalopsia-flaneur, @justile

Like, comment and reblog.

[iguana-eyanna]

What Was Left Behind Pt. 9

Summary: After the events of the Sokovia Accords, Steve is now a fugitive to the U.S. government and has left you in the worst way possible. What happens when fate reunites the two again when you are most vulnerable?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x pregnant reader

Warning: love making, Nat being the one who hypes Steve up to get freaky deaky with the reader, very descriptive to certain body parts (just skip the colored text if you don’t want to read the smut scene)

Time really slowed down when you were with Steve. Not once did you take that for granted. You were so accustomed to living in the city life where everything was rushed or one had to live extravagantly, so living at a peaceful beach house really made you reflect on what matters the most.

Steve was also thankful for this time with you as he always traveled for missions and was beaten to a pulp in order to save the world. It was almost like that weight was lifted off his shoulders. Unfortunately, not all of his burdens were lifted.

Truly, things were getting better with you. You were still married to each other, you both slept in each other’s arms every night, you even went out together to buy some fresh produce at a marketplace. He couldn’t place it, but something was missing.

Nat kept her word and visited you at the house, either spending time with you or helping Steve around the house to prepare for the baby. Steve practically begged you to not help for the nursery as he felt obligated to do it himself. You trusted his artistic instinct and gave him control of what needed to be done in the baby’s room.

You hear Nat come up the front porch with a large box, possibly being the crib Steve ordered online. Yes, it surprised you and Nat that he was able to use the internet (Sam actually ordered it cause Steve is like 100 years old, so he wanted to look capable). You greet her at the door, trying to hug her properly without your protruding belly getting in the way. You both laughed as Steve came out of the kitchen from cleaning up from lunch.

“I’ll take that. If you excuse me, I will be in the nursery to fix this.” Steve says as he bends down to grab the box with ease, flexing his muscles that could break a watermelon. You couldn’t help but stare at his figure, wondering how this man is still fit even if he hasn’t trained in weeks. You snap out of it as you turn around to see Nat covering a snicker (not the candy) in her hand.

“There was something on his shirt.” you tried saying in a convincing tone. “Sure…” Nat said, helping you walk to the couch to sit down. You started sharing some stories as Nat gave you alternatives to name your child after her “There’s Natalie, Natalya, Sasha, Tatiana, Talia…” she stops as she sees you staring at a shirtless Steve passing by to get a glass of water.

She says that you look thirsty (lol) and gets up to walk in the kitchen. Steve starts to pour water into his glass and acknowledges her presence. “Need water?” he asks as he starts getting another glass.

“Ok, what is going on with the two of you?” Nat says, grabbing the cup from his hands. Steve raises his eyebrow. “Nothing,” he says as he starts to chug his water. “So basically, you’re not having sex.” Steve spurts out his water as he regains his breathing from almost being choked.

“Wha- what are you talking about?” he stuttered while drying himself with a small towel nearby.

“Y/n has been staring at you like a dog at a bone. When’s the last time you two were intimate?” she asks, trying to figure out the two lovebirds that have been acting like hormonal teenagers. He glances in your direction, then staring down to hide the embarrassment on his face. Nat figures out that the last time they were together was before Steve left y/n. “That long, huh…” She gives a sympathetic look and stops pressing him with her demeanor.

Steve exhales as he slumps his shoulders. “Everything’s been so good with y/n, I don’t want to risk what we have right now because of my selfishness.” Nat rolled her eyes and smacked his arm. “Steve, she hasn’t taken her eyes off of you the second I came here. Even if you think you’re not there yet, she is. Maybe start initiating before she thinks you don’t want her.”

Steve rubs the back of his neck sheepishly. “How do I even start?” he asked in a whisper. Nat gave one of her sly smirks, devising a plan. “It starts with me leaving,” she says as she walks out of the kitchen and goes to you. “Hey sorry, I have to leave right now. But let me know how things go when I come back for a few days. You guys will probably be busy.” she states, giving you a wink and heading out the door.

You turn to Steve with a puzzling look, not understanding what she just referred to. “Um… can I show you something?” Steve shyly asks. You nod your head yes as he offers you his hand to get up from the couch. You walk into the hallway following Steve to the end of the hall. He opens the door to the nursery and never have you been more amazed till that moment.

The room gave such cool tones with the water-colored paintings that lined the walls as the driftwood mobile complemented on top of the crib. What caught your eye was a medium-sized picture frame of you and Steve on your wedding day. You both looked so happy, having your first dance as you could faintly hear the song in your head.

Steve saw you looking at it as if you were thinking of a sad memory. “It was the only picture I could bring before the whole accords incident. I never let it out of my sight,” he said as he came closer to you. You looked up to him, as both of you were a bit teary-eyed remembering how life was simple back then when you both were naive.

You are now inches away from each other, feeling a longing you have craved for the past few weeks. “Y/n, I…” you shush him as you place your fingers on his lips. You place your hand down and without warning, you kiss him hungrily. Steve is taken back from the force you brought onto him, but he scoops you in his arms and starts to head to your bedroom.

Without breaking your kiss, he places you on the soft mattress as he caresses the back of your head. You temporarily pull away as you settle at the edge of the bed.

You take off his shorts, revealing his massive bulge from his briefs. He stares at you hungrily as he waits for approval to undress you.

You slowly nod your head yes as he uses his large hands to lift your dress over your head. He now sees your new figure as your breasts grew 2x larger than the last time he saw them.

He admires your stretch marks and how they decorated your hips and legs, tracing his fingers to each stripe you had.

You shiver from his light touch as they lead to your back, unclipping your bra to reveal your sensitive chest. Both of you are seconds away from being vulnerable like the first night you made love to each other.

He lifts your chin and gives you a look of adoration. No words were exchanged, but you both felt ready for what was to come.

You shimmy down your now wet undergarments, throwing them to the end of the room. He quickly grabs a large pillow and puts it behind your back for comfort, then taking your legs and spreading them apart.

He kneels on the ground as he teases your clitoris with his nose and tongue, driving you to the edge.

His tongue begins to lick between your folds as he uses his hands to grab your inner thighs. He soon pulls away to breathe as he sees you lightly panting.

He then lets go of one of your thighs and uses two of his fingers and goes within your folds, widening your lips.

You clench the blanket under your hands, quietly gasping for air as he takes his hands away.

You begin to stay in charge as you pull him into your rough kiss, flipping him over till he is on the bottom of you. You take off his briefs to reveal his erected cock that stood straight like a plank of wood.

Steve helps you balance on top of him as each hand was at your waist. He slowly raises you up for you to fit in him as you ease within his tip.

You both begin to moan from the sensation as your hungry desires have been suppressed for so long. You sink deeper into him, feeling your walls pushing outwards in order to make room.

You rock up and down to get a rhythm as Steve used as much friction to his advantage. You begin to feel hot everywhere, lifting your heavy tits as they start flopping.

This made Steve even hornier as he felt that he was about to cum. The room is filled with sex and grunts as you could feel both of your fluids mixing.

Gravity gives in as you now touch the base of his cock as he softly grunts at how spectacular that felt. You pull out with his assistance as he guides you to lie next to him, covering you both with a thinner blanket.

“That was… wow,” you said out of breath, laying your hand on his chest as his hand fell on top of yours. “I never thought I was that beast-like in my life.” he huffed as he turned to you, bringing you closer to his body.

“Are you alright? I was so scared of hurting you.” he quietly asked with concern in your eyes. You give him a genuine smile.

“I’m fine, more than fine,” you reassured him. He places his forehead on yours. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted this. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to show how much I love you.”

You hold the side of his face as you feel the stubble of his beard. “You're my husband Steve, there’s no other person I would share this with,” you stated.

He takes this opportunity to turn quickly to his nightstand, grabbing a small item and facing you with your wedding ring.

“I made the mistake of losing you and I promise to never let that happen again. Can you ever forgive me?” he asks in vulnerability.

The room is filled with silence for a few minutes until you kiss Steve with pure devotion. “I forgave you a long time ago, Steve. I never stopped loving you.” you gently said. He cries with joy as he slips your ring on your finger, giving you another kiss.

Now he felt like there were fewer burdens to carry as he became a new man, now that he felt complete with you.

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[maximoffcarter]

Time goes by.

Pairings: Natasha x reader (frienship), Wanda x reader.

Summary: After the snap, y/n and Natasha tried to move on with their lives as hard as it is; y/n misses Wanda terribly, but knows Natasha is always there by her side. But what happens when she's not anymore?

A/n: I don't know where this came from, but I ended up writing it in a depressive moment and it came out like this. At first I thought it didn't make sense but I wanted to share it with all of you. Also, I feel like I'm preparing myself again to say goodbye to Nat...but yep. I'm running out of ideas even if I still have some requests and some more to post, so if you have any requests, my ask and messages are open!

Y/n had always been an optimistic girl, always trying to push people to do their best, always trying to get them to do whatever they wanted to do and always with a smile on their face, she was sometimes that annoying girl that always tried to make things better for everyone; to say the least, she was the opposite of Natasha. Not that she wasn’t positive, but Natasha had her own way to show things, she was a badass, while y/n tried her best to not show that side of her, unless they were on missions. Natasha had been a sister to her since forever, missions together, sometimes with Clint, but they always stuck together, supporting each other and being the people they needed there.

Natasha had been the one to get y/n out of that dark place she always had to be in, doing missions she had never wanted to do, or just being in places she didn’t want to stay in. Joining the avengers had seemed pointless, she had wanted a normal life out of anything that had to do with fights or missions, but she would do it for Nat. And thanks to that, she got to meet Wanda, even if it took her a very long time to really get to tell her about her feelings, it had been worth it; also all the pushing and long talks with Nat, she had helped a lot.

So when Thanos happened, of course Natasha was always there for y/n, and y/n was there for her. It was the two of them for a while, Clint had disappeared, Steve tried to keep living his life in his own way, Tony was nowhere to be found, Bruce also disappeared, and the rest…they were all gone. They both tried to get any idea, any plan to get them back, but it wasn’t easy, so on some days they just decided to keep living and have their own little fun, even if they always ended up crying together. Y/n missed Wanda terribly, Natasha knew that, but y/n always tried to hide it.

When they finally got a plan, it almost seemed like Natasha knew what was going to happen next or as if she had expected something to happen. The day before, they had taken the time to prepare for the mission, it wasn’t going to be easy, but it was something they had agreed on doing. Y/n had spent most of her time in Wanda’s room, afraid of what may happen, afraid that it wouldn’t work, afraid of everything really. It had been years, years of suffering, years of crying, years of not having her by her side, but she was also thankful she had not been alone at all.

Y/n smiled softly as she looked around and decided to leave the room. She closed the door quietly and as she looked up, she noticed Natasha’s door room open, she made her way to the room and smiled softly as she found Natasha sitting on her bed. She slowly made her way in and closed the door behind her, making Natasha look up at her.

“Do you think it will work?” Natasha asked quietly.

Y/n shrugged. “We can only hope.”

Natasha nodded as she offered a tired smile. She padded the empty space beside her as she laid down. Y/n joined her a few seconds later and looked up at the ceiling just like Natasha, suddenly feeling Natasha grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers.

“Do you remember that one mission where we had to stay in Mexico for a few days and we stayed near this beautiful beach? Every night we would go lay on the sand. We barely got any sleep for how painfully annoying the mission was.” Natasha chuckled softly.

Y/n joined her and nodded. “We also had a lot of tequila. It wasn’t that bad.” She grinned as she looked at Natasha, biting her lip softly. “Are you afraid?”

Natasha looked at her and smiled. “I don’t know. I want to believe that everything will be okay, that we will get everyone back.”

“But?”

Natasha smiled. “But we never know what can happen.” She sighed. “But also, you’ll get your witch back. I know you miss her more than anything.”

“I do. And that’s what makes me happy about all this.” Y/n smiled. “But something just doesn’t fit right.”

“Aren’t you miss ‘it’s all gonna be great guys! We can do this!’” Natasha mocked her as they both laughed.

“Ass.” Y/n laughed. “I mean yeah but…everything has changed in these past years. I’m afraid.”

“Everything will be okay.” Natasha smiled as she leaned in and kissed y/n’s forehead. “We’ll be okay.”

That night, both of them had gone to sleep with a clear mind, after many hours of laughter, jokes, memories and just talking about anything they could think of. It had been a night to remember for both of them. They had slept throughout the whole night, y/n in Natasha’s arms, both of them finally feeling like things could really get much better, and soon everything would go back to normal; it had finally been a peaceful night. The next day, everyone prepared what they needed to go ahead with the mission, they all had been serious at first, focused on the things they were doing. Natasha and y/n found each other before they all reunited and for some reason, y/n felt the need to hug Natasha, no words needed.

Space seemed to be the best place they had gone to so far, it had been the best experience they had, until they got to Vormir. Everything had happened too fast, they didn’t have time to think things through, not when both of them were stubborn. The last thing y/n remembers was trying to hold Natasha’s hand tightly to stop her from falling, Natasha looked at her with love and sadness at the same time,

“N-Nat…don’t do this to me. Don’t leave me!” Y/n cried out.

The last words she heard were ‘it’s okay’ and ‘I adore you’, the next thing happened too quickly, a scene she didn’t want to remember. She woke up in water surrounding her, she sat up confused until she noticed the small stone on her hand, bringing memories back to her. She sobbed uncontrollably as she looked down at the stone, she had lost Natasha, she wouldn’t be able to bring her back. She yelled at the top of her lungs as she cried; if this didn’t work, she was going to be heartbroken.

____________________

It felt selfish. It felt selfish to feel a little happiness in her. It felt selfish to smile. It was hard, but she couldn’t help the happiness she felt as soon as she saw Wanda. After the battle, after them winning, she ran to Wanda and hugged her tightly, crying as she buried her face on Wanda’s neck, crying tears of happiness mixed with sadness. She couldn’t get any words out, she couldn’t really talk about it right now, but she knew that after this, it was going to be hard to hold it in together.

They barely talked when they went back to safety, no words were needed when they both knew what was going on in their minds. They both showered together, and Wanda held y/n the whole time, she could feel her pain, she could feel the sadness and it made her feel the same way because even if she wasn’t as close to Nat as y/n was, she still loved Natasha, she had helped her through so much and she couldn’t believe either that she was gone.

The next day, Tony’s funeral happened. It was unbelievable to think that they had lost two members, they both sacrificed their lives to save the world. Y/n said nothing, just kept holding Wanda’s hand and she stood by her side the whole time. They both had gone back to their hotel room, y/n wanting to shut down entirely, but was also scared that she would lose Wanda too, so she pulled Wanda with her to bed and hugged her close to her, never wanting to let go.

The next few days were the same, Wanda would go get them some food and bring it back to their room so y/n would have something to eat, but she barely finished her plate and then went back to lay down, sometimes to sleep, sometimes to cry, but mostly she wanted Wanda to always be there with her. She stood up to go to the bathroom and take a shower, but even then, she always asked Wanda to join her. It broke Wanda’s heart to see her like this, she knew y/n wanted to be okay for her and wanted to make up for the time they lost, but the sadness took over her, she knew she missed Natasha terribly, she didn’t know what else to do.

____________________

Bucky had brought the last things that he had found in the mess of the compound, recovering some clothes or belongings that were buried but remained in a good state after the whole disaster, it had only been a box and some stuff he had gotten for both women. He was worried about y/n but also didn’t know what he could do for her or how to help Wanda. As Wanda went back to the room, she found y/n still asleep, giving her the chance to look at what Bucky could recover, mostly they were clothes that now seemed to be clean, she then found a letter that had Wanda’s name, but decided to leave it at the end. Her eyes then laid on something that she didn’t think she would see again, not after the disaster that was left in the compound.

She looked up at y/n and noticed she had started to wake up. She smiled sadly as she laid back the item inside the box and walked to the bed, laying down beside her and kissing her forehead softly.

“Hi, moya lyubov.” She whispered softly as she kissed her nose.

Y/n offered a small smile. “Hi.” She whispered back.

“Did you sleep well?”

Y/n shook her head. “I had a nightmare. But I couldn’t wake up.”

Wanda nodded softly. “Well, you’re back. With me.” Wanda ran her hands through y/n’s hair and leaned down to kiss her lips softly.

“I’m sorry.” Y/n whispered against her lips as she felt tears in her eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, my love. I know…I know it’s hard. I don’t blame you for feeling this way.” Wanda rested her forehead against y/n’s and sighed. “I’ll always be here.”

Y/n then smiled sadly again. “I know. And I’m glad you’re back. That you came back to me.” Her voice broke as she placed her hand on Wanda’s cheek. “You know…Nat had to deal with my sorry ass when I didn’t feel okay and when I missed you…she had to hear me cry and as much as I tried to live…I needed you. I missed you.” She confessed with a sad smile on her face. “She knew you would come back to me.”

“I’ll always come back to you.” Wanda smiled. “And I won’t leave your side. Not when you need me the most, not in your best, not in your worse. I’m here to stay.”

“I love you.” Y/n whispered softly as she pulled Wanda for another kiss.

Wanda smiled against her lips. “I have something for you.”

Y/n furrowed her brows. “What is it?”

Wanda stood up from the bed and grabbed the box she had left in the small table, walking back to the bed, and sitting down beside y/n.

“I don’t know if you remember, but when we fought Ultron, back in the tower, Pietro gave me something to wear because well…everyone was getting ready and dressed to fight, and I only had a simple dress.” She chuckled softly at the memory. “I didn’t know who it belonged to, until a badass redhead asked why I had her jacket.” She handed the leather jacket to y/n and smiled.

Y/n gasped as she grabbed the jacket, sitting up on the bed and placing it on her lap. “This is…”

“Nat’s.” Wanda smiled as she looked at y/n. “She let me keep it, I used it maybe one or two times after it.” She bit her lip. “I know it’s not much, but…it’s all yours now.”

Y/n sobbed quietly as her hand traced the lines of the jacket. “Everything was buried. I thought…I thought there was nothing left.” She hugged the jacket as more tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Well…Bucky brought the box not too long ago. Some clothes were okay, and this jacket survived.” Wanda smiled sadly. “It might not smell like her anymore but…it was hers so.”

Y/n nodded softly as she looked back up at Wanda and smiled. “It’s ours. I’m sure she protected it for us, as lame as it sounds. She would laugh at me for saying that.” Y/n laughed softly, a genuine laugh after so long.

Wanda chuckled softly and nodded. “I’m sure.” She bit her lip softly as she looked back at the envelope. “There’s also…there’s this thing that…has my name. I just…I didn’t know if I could open it.”

Y/n furrowed her brows as she looked inside the box. Her eyes widened as she grabbed the envelope. “Oh my god, I didn’t…” She smiled widely. “She really did protect these things.” She whispered softly.

Wanda furrowed her brows as she looked back at her. “Is it important?”

Y/n smiled softly as she handed it back to Wanda. “After 2 years, Nat and I went on a road trip just to clear our minds and be away from the compound. We drove until we got to New Jersey and we got to this small…town.” She smiled at the memory. “We uh…we drove around, and we saw all these houses and there was an empty space.”

Wanda looked down at the envelope and opened it as y/n spoke, her eyes scanning what it had inside, her heart stopping for a moment.

“As much as Tony was upset and wanted to make his life with Pepper and Morgan, he still helped me, and he bought this place for us. I didn’t start the whole construction because well…I wanted it to be a thing…for us…and I-“

Wanda interrupted her as she jumped on her and kissed her lips softly. Y/n chuckled and wrapped her arms around her, kissing her back just as softly. Y/n knew she still wasn’t over the whole Nat thing, but she remembered what Nat had told her, that everything would be alright, and Wanda and y/n would be back together. So as selfish as she felt, as bad as she still felt, as much as she missed Natasha, she knew Natasha wouldn’t have want y/n to be sad because of her, she would indeed pull her out of bed just like she did many times when Wanda was gone.

After a few seconds of the sweet kiss, both women pulled away with a big smile on their faces. Y/n looked into those green eyes she loved so much and smiled, Wanda doing the same as she placed her hand on the back of y/n’s neck, caressing it softly.

“I know it’s been hard, and I haven’t been at my best. But…maybe this can help us out.” Y/n shrugged.

“We’ll get through it together.” Wanda whispered softly.

“I’m sure Nat will finally be happy to know we are going to start the house. She was desperate for me to start it but understood why I didn’t.” Y/n laughed softly as she looked back at Wanda. “But I know you won’t leave my side again, and..” Y/n licked her lips. “…we can finally have that life we talked about.”

Wanda smiled. “We can finally have it.” She whispered softly as she pulled her for another kiss.

[sparklingaquarius]

Can you do one maybe after your breakup with Bucky? Like seeing him for the first time?

Worry

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Type: One Shot

A/N: oh this was so much fun to write, thanks for being my first request! turned out to be a bit longer than i had initially entailed, but longer fics the better, right? i am so sorry it took so long to get to you, i take a bit longer to write to make sure it is the best i can do! i hope you enjoy dear nonnie :)

REQUESTS: OPEN

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5 years ago today you had gotten engaged. You were engaged to the man you thought was the love of your life, then the unexplainable happened, you were gone from existence for 5 years. You couldn’t explain what happened, as you didn’t know it was 5 years, it felt more like 5 minutes. But, when you came back, to your house, your life, you realized the extent of what had happened. The man who had proposed to you 5 years ago, wanted to start a life with you, had done that with someone else. The man who told you he loved you continuously every day was now telling it to another woman in your apartment. You were devastated, upset enough to forget all the things you figured were no longer left in the apartment and run away to a new city and start a new life.

Then you met Bucky.

When you met Bucky, you could feel yourself rejuvenate, come back to life. You were discovering what love was like all over again, he was helping you heal after what happened, and you were helping him heal from his own troubles. You two were right for each other, as your friends and his had both told you. You finally felt like things were falling into place for you, and you had hoped things were falling into place for Bucky all the same. You felt like this was meant to be, that maybe losing those 5 years was the best thing to ever happen to you instead of the worst.

Then you found out.

You had found out that San Wilson needed Bucky’s help in catching a group and that would require Buck to leave and travel immediately. You knew this day would be coming, and you knew you couldn’t and wouldn’t stop him. You were selfish sure, hell you had every reason to be selfish, but you weren’t that selfish. But you also knew that you weren’t able to handle not hearing from him days on end. You were too much of a worry wart, and especially with missions as big and dangerous that Bucky will end up taking on, you couldn’t do that to yourself, or to him. So, before he had to leave to meet Sam, you knew what you had to do and end it with him. You knew how it would hurt both of you, but you also knew Bucky would know you would be worrying constantly, especially if he didn’t get in contact, so it made the process a bit easier for the both of you this way.

That was 2 months ago.

It’s been 2 months since the breakup, 2 months since you heard from Bucky. You knew it was better this way, but that didn’t help the ache you felt in the pit of your stomach every time you looked at the box of his things you had packed up sitting in the corner of your bedroom. You knew you should’ve just dumped it, but you wanted to give them back to him, whenever you could see him. He wasn’t back yet from his mission with Sam, you thought, so the box of his washed and folded clothes he left at your place, the cologne he bought and would wear specifically for you, and a little stuffed teddy bear named Mr. Waddles you won him at a fair that he kept at your place because it looked way cuter on your bed than his, all remained in the corner on a chair in your room.

You would wake up every morning and face the box, seeing Mr. Waddles’s head stick out of it, and you sighed. All the memories would flow back, and the ache you tried to push down and keep out of mind came back full force, and you desperately just tried to forget him for the day. But you knew you just couldn’t. You knew that no matter how hard you tried to forget Bucky, that you just couldn’t. All the memories played in your mind like a film, and all the love and warmness he made you feel returned to you when you would see them in your mind. Even though you had broken up, you were still in love with him, and you still worried about him. Wherever he was, that was something you couldn’t deny, something you wouldn’t deny. But you had to move on, and today, like every day, you had to live your life Bucky free, and march on living. Today was Saturday, which means it was time to go grocery shopping, an activity you loathed but one that Bucky loved and always made fun for you. You smiled softly to yourself and got up and got dressed, remembering how he would always challenge you and say “last one to the car has to push the shopping cart” to motivate you to get out of bed. You remembered this as you currently got out of bed to get ready to go do your shopping. The quicker you accomplished it, the quicker you could get home and relax.

************************************************************************

As you were pulling your credit card out of your purse at the grocery store, you looked up and saw a very familiar face walk through the doors, entering. You gave the cashier your card and you walked over fast to the person and you held your breath.

“Sam?” you asked a bit breathlessly, shocked to see him back home. And if you saw Sam back home, then you knew Bucky was back home as well.

Sam turned around as he heard his name, and more importantly, your voice, and he smiled softly at you. Although Bucky would never admit it, Sam was one of his best friends besides Steve, so Sam was around a lot for your relationship, and you considered him a friend and big brother you never had. “Well hello there little rocket, how the hell are you?” Sam asked you laughing as he opened his arms to give you a hug, and you chuckled hugging him gently. Sam had nicknamed you Little Rocket when you told him that in high school you were on your school’s track team and you were in fact very fast, giving him your time in your races.

As you broke the hug you cleared your throat and smiled softly looking back at him. “I’m doing as good as I can, I mean I’m grocery shopping so I’m as miserable as ever.” You joked and laughed softly, and Sam as well laughed.

“Yeah Buck did always say you hate grocery shopping.” He said, casually mentioning his name and you just nodded, not wanting to out right ask Sam about Bucky.

You and Sam walked back to your cart to put your bags in your cart so you could finish checking out, and you organized your cart as you watched Sam jump into helping you accomplish the task quicker. “So I see you’re back home, I assume the mission went well considering you were only gone for 2 months?” you asked him, trying to break the silence between you two.

Sam put the last bag in your cart and he nodded, immediately pushing it out as he followed you to your car. “Yeah, I mean it went as well as it could. We got the end result we desired, not the tactics we wanted to take. But I don’t have any broken bones and if I can escape spraining my wrist or ankle again I’ll consider it a win.” He smirked and you shook your head laughing.

“Yeah that would be such a tragedy if Captain America had a sprained wrist. How ever will he hold his shield up? A crime to this country.” You joked, popping your trunk to put bags in it.

“Damn you saw that? I was hoping to stop by with my shield, you know like a trick or treater.” Sam told you and you rolled your eyes shaking your head.

“I watch the news dummy. I’m so proud of you, but you knew that. But the suit looks good on you, nice and tight.” You winked and smirked, not finding the comment odd because that’s how your and Sam’s relationship was. Always funny comments without any meaning.

Sam smirked and finished putting the bags in and he looked at you, leaning against the car a bit, “So you were looking at me instead of Bucky in those clips? Or are you trying to butter me up into asking about him? I know you’re curious. He’s back home, adjusting. He wouldn’t admit it, but I know he was thinking about you just as much as you were him. And don’t even try to deny it lady, you were thinking about him.” Sam told you bluntly, and a part of you was relieved he got to the point.

You sighed and crossed your arms nodding, looking down at the pavement. “I can never lie to you Samuel, but I was going to ask if he’s home. I wanted to drop a box of his stuff off, you know stuff that was left at my place.” You admit, semi truthfully.

Sam listens to you and nods, clicking his tongue. “You sure that’s all you want to do in seeing him?” he asks raising an eyebrow and you take a deep breath and simply shrug your shoulders. “In my honest advice, take the stuff but you two need to talk. Whether it be about what happened between you two or just to catch up, you need to talk. For his sake and for yours. He talked about you briefly, but enough while we were gone. He needs closure, reasoning. Hell maybe you two can even make up and make it work. If not, then it’ll bring the closure you two need. You two had something special. Don’t let it go down in flames.” He tells you and pushes the cart back and he points to you smirking “You better make up! I miss weekly taco nights, you give it the right amount of spice.” He smirks and winks and walks into the store, leaving you with the short but deep thoughts.

Once you got home and unpacked your food, you went into your room and looked at Bucky’s box of things in the corner, tempting you. You took a deep breath and let a sigh out, knowing Sam was right. Besides, you were desperate to see Bucky, even just a glimpse of his face. You took a look over yourself in the mirror, making sure you looked presentable, and well good. You were going to drop a box of stuff off to your ex-boyfriend and you wanted to look good. You chuckled at yourself and grabbed the box and drove over to his apartment, not sure what you would be met with when you got there.

You still had the key to Bucky’s apartment building on your key ring. You felt like letting that go would be officially letting him go. This time you were thankful as you let yourself into the building and made your way up to the third floor to Bucky’s apartment. You took a deep breath as the elevator ascended and as it stopped and let you out, you walked nervously and slowly to his apartment. As you stood face to face with his shut door, you gently reached out and knocked on his door, not to loud to scare him, but loud enough to make sure he knew someone was there.

After about a minute of him not coming to the door, you knocked again, wondering if he was even home. After still no answer, you were about ready to turn around and leave when suddenly the door was open slowly, and there in grey sweats and a shirt to match, stood the most beautiful man you’ve ever laid your eyes on, that man being Bucky Barnes.

He stood in front of you, looking at you a bit in awe and disbelief. He swallowed gently as he took you in and he opened the door a bit more. “I looked through the peep hole, wondering who was knocking on my door. I was a bit shocked that it was you.” He told you, his tone soft and you looked down in the box nodding.

“If I’m being honest, I’m a bit shocked you even answered the door. I didn’t think you would want to even see me.” You told him, licking your lips nervously. “I’m also shocked you kept your hair short, if I recall you said it once made you feel like an old man?” You ask him, trying to get the banter going again.

Bucky laughed softly shaking his head as he led you inside the apartment you’ve been in over hundreds of times. “That’s just silly, not wanting to see you. And how could I destroy this magical hair cut? I had the best hair dresser in town.” He tells you, smirking softly as he keeps his eyes detailed to your every move.

You walk in and set the box down on the table, some color returning to your cheeks and you groan a bit shaking your head, turning to face him. “I wouldn’t say I was a hair dresser now, a fast learner from YouTube tutorials.” You tell him narrowing your eyes, matching his smirk, the tension loosening a bit.

Bucky laughed and walked over to where you were, looking inside the box. Bucky didn’t care what was inside the box, he just wanted to be near you. Feel the energy you gave off again, one of the many things he missed. He picked up Mr. Waddles and he looked at him, trying his best not to look at you, despite him feeling your eyes on him. “I can tell this is a box of my stuff, but I am shocked to see Mr. Waddles in here. He looked way cuter on your bed than mine.” He tells you and you roll your eyes letting a laugh out.

“True but he is your bear. I won him for you. So that makes him yours, no takesies backsies.” You tell him smirking and look down at the floor, examining your shoes. “Besides if I cuddled with him anymore he wouldn’t smell like you so he needed to be with his rightful owner.” You admit looking up at Bucky finally, holding your breath as you saw his face stay soft.

Bucky kept his expression neutral and nodded simply as he looked through the box a bit and as he was looking away, you studied him. Studied his features. You loved looking at him, studying him. Whether it was when he was asleep or wasn’t paying attention, you loved taking him in. Which is exactly what you were doing now, and in your doing so, you noticed him wince a bit as he held a tshirt up. You raised an eyebrow and walked closer to him, standing next to him. “Bucky, why did you wince when you held the shirt up?” you ask curiously and defensively now, and you could hear him sighing.

“It’s nothing here doll, you know how some missions are. I get hit, I recover. Nothing to worry about.” He tells you, blowing it off, using the nickname he reserved for when he didn’t want you to worry about him.

You sighed and shook your head, putting his arm down to his side. “I think you’ve forgotten I also know when you’re lying. This is more than a hit Buck. Are you hurt? Did you get hurt?” You ask seriously, now worrying about him as you gently put his human arm out to examine it for any injuries. You rolled your eyes at his protests and noticed when you rolled up his sleeve he had a giant purple bruise on his arm with the entire area red in color. You figured he had gotten hurt but not to the point where there was clearly some kind of internal injury. You set the box down and led him to his couch, and you went to his hall closet to grab a kit you put together for him in case he ever got hurt.

You sat down next to him and looked at him seriously but with soft eyes. “Alright Buck, put your arm out.” You tell him seriously, and as he looks at you, the light from his eyes catching yours, a light indicating he was feeling something resembling happiness, he held out his vibranium arm, in an effort to tease you, smirking wide as he did. You shook your head biting your lip, rolling your eyes laughing grabbing the correct arm, as you began to bandage it and put it into a sling. “Oh very funny sailor.” You told him as you gently put his hand on your shoulder so you could have full coverage to it.

Bucky raised an eyebrow as he looked at where his hand was, the exposed skin of your shoulder that was warm to the touch, he could feel the below his fingers. He tried not to move his fingers to run them gently over it, so to distract himself he looked at you, focused so intently on making sure he was okay. He noticed a loose piece of hair was clouding your vision, so he used his free arm to move it out of your face. You held your breath as he did so, trying not to let it on that you were affected by a simple touch. Bucky smirked as he watched you, biting the inside of his cheek. “Now you and I both know I wasn’t a sailor, unless you know something about myself that I don’t?” he asked, completely messing with you now.

You smirked, biting your bottom lip gently and you laughed, finally looking at him. “You seem to forget I know all about you Barnes, my greatest advantage.” You tell him with a wink, and set the cloth you were using down. Bucky just kept his focus on you, realizing how badly he missed you during those 2 months, realizing how badly he hated breaking up, not having you, and how badly he needed you. He once again used his free hand to use two fingers to put them gently under your chin to turn your head to face him, so you’re both looking at each other.

“It was always you’re greatest advantage, knowing all about me. And in knowing all about me, you’ll know how badly I’ve missed you.” He lets out, his tone soft but serious, and you let your eyes wander up to his face, getting lose in his eyes.

You tried looking down, but your instincts were taking over in not letting you, as you felt the pull to him that you’ve always felt, and if you looked away you knew it would be gone, and you didn’t want it. You simply nodded and let a breath out through your nose. “Bucky…it was for the better…I mean—” you start and Bucky shakes his head and just leans in to give you a soft kiss to get you to stop talking. Before he left he didn’t get to kiss you goodbye, so he was considering this a makeup one.

After he backed his face up, he looked at you and reached up to cup your face, using his thumbs to pet your cheek. “It wasn’t for the better, can you honestly say you didn’t miss me? Miss that? You know all about me, and guess what? I know all about you. And I know you missed me, you didn’t want to break up. I read it on your face that night.” He tells you, his face serious and you continue to bite the inside of your cheek as he continues. “Can you honestly tell me that you didn’t think about me every night while I was gone? Didn’t think about the memories we had together? Because I did, every single night. And all I’ve wanted since I came back was to see you, to absorb you in any way I can, forget that night happened. Because I could tell that you broke up with me because you didn’t want me worrying about you.” He explains and you close your eyes listening.

“I didn’t want you worrying about me worrying about you. I thought breaking us up would lessen my worries. But it only made me worry about you more.” You admit softly, opening your eyes looking in his and he moved his thumbs to your lips, petting them softly.

“Well my sweet girl, that made two of us worry.” He says and he smiles. “No matter what, I will always worry about you. Whether we are together or apart, no matter where we are in the world. You will always be the number one thought on my mind, whether you like it or not.” He tells you smiling wide and genuinely now and you laugh softly looking down.

“Yeah Buck, you’re always my number one thought too. I just…when I broke up with you that night, I thought it was for the better. That we both would be better off. With you leaving more now, you helping Sam or whoever needs it, I just didn’t want you worrying about checking in, and I thought that if I didn’t need you to check in, I would be okay. That I wouldn’t worry about you. But, Jesus Christ, I wasn’t expecting ANYTHING from you and I still was worrying about you.” You admit, trying not to cry telling him this.

Bucky was listening and he adjusted so he could pull you into a hug, rocking you gently as he carefully wrapped his arms around you, and you did the same, soaking in the warmth radiating off him. “I just thought we’d be better off.” You whisper and he shakes his head, kissing the side of yours.

“Baby doll I am NEVER better off without you. You are the one who taught me to love again, you got me through a shit ton of stuff. You helped me every day, every night. Even if you didn’t do all of that, I still love you and can never be better off without you.” Bucky tells you gently but passionately and you let a breath out and bury your face in his shoulder nodding.

“I still love you too.” You mumbled into him, knowing it to be true, refusing to fight it or hide it. You knew it the night you broke up with him, you knew it the months he was gone, and you knew it now as you were cradled in his arms. “I’ll always worry about you when you go off on these missions. I can’t not.” You explain and Bucky rubbed your back gently, running his fingers up and down your spine.

“I know, I wouldn’t ask you not too. I’d rather you worry with me than without me.” He whispers into your ear and you just nod, kissing his shoulder.

“I hate to be without you, and I hated possibly hurting you, I’m so sorry.” You said and he chuckled, resting his chin on top of yours.

“Nah doll you didn’t hurt me. Because I knew that’s not what you really wanted. If it was then that’s a different story. You can never hurt me, I promise.” He told you, rocking you gently as you stayed pressed against him on the couch, the unsaid words of love and affirmation making their ways out with the physical actions. You were right where you needed to be, where you both needed to be. All the worry, the talks of him travelling can be discussed later. But for now, you needed to be with each other, soaking in the moments and love you both missed.

[bloobeary]

The hallway light is off when he gets home, but the one over the stove was on. Bucky knows that Steve did it on purpose so that Bucky wouldn’t have to stumble around inside in the middle of the night. It makes his heart stutter in his chest no matter how many times he sees it. So sweet, that guy of his. He’ll buy Steve some flowers, and make him breakfast and kiss him stupid tomorrow.

He toes off his boots at the door, and sets his bag down on the couch, that way it won’t make as much noise. There’s a few hours of night left before the sun starts to come up, a few hours before Steve peels himself out of bed and heads out for a run.

He’s asleep now, Bucky notices from where he creeps in through the bedroom door, arms around Bucky’s pillow, sheets around his hips. He’s even wearing one of Bucky’s old t-shirts, one that he’s sure he tossed in the hamper before he left. His mouth is a little open, and his hair is going every which way, and Bucky loves him so much it hurts to breathe.

He’s not around enough-- he knows this. Not that it’s on purpose, or Steve would ever hold it against him, but Bucky knows he misses him when he’s gone, just like Bucky misses Steve when he’s gone, too. But Steve gets all quiet and sad about it, mopes around like a droopy flower until Bucky gets home and refuses to admit that it’s hard on him. Usually, it doesn’t take much more than Bucky gluing himself to Steve like a burr to a sock for his smile to reach his eyes again, but Bucky’s not stupid. Plus, Natasha tattles.

Steve goes on ops just as much, ex-Captain America doesn’t get sidelined just because he changed uniforms, so Bucky doesn’t sleep much when Steve’s not around. He sits in bed staring at the ceiling until he can’t take it anymore. Things get fixed when Steve’s gone. Not that any of them are the ones that need to be fixed, but Bucky just needs something to do with his hands. He wonders if Natasha tells on him, too. They’re real pieces of work, two peas in one fucked up pod. They’re figuring it out.

The truth is they work too much, both of them. In and out of the house like it’ll hold them hostage if they stay for too long. Retirement comes up every so often, but even though Steve doesn’t carry the shield anymore, and Bucky’s not the Winter Soldier, they never get around to it. They’ve got too much time coiled in their bones to sit still, he thinks.

Really, Bucky doesn’t trust himself to ever leave if he gets used to being around Steve all the time. It’s hard enough leaving after they’ve got one day off together, Bucky can’t figure what it’d be like to take any actual amount of time off. After the helicarriers and everything else, Steve grabbed Bucky by the shoulders and said dont ever disappear on me again. Bucky shares the feeling. He thinks if they were to retire, officially and on paper, he’d never let Steve out of his sight again. That such a bad thing? He hears it in Steve’s voice, though he’ll never say it, not like that at least.

Bucky undresses quickly, quietly, on his side of the bed, back to the window so he can watch Steve sleep, make sure he doesn’t wake him up. He should shower, really--there’s dried sweat and what feels like a layer of grime caked onto his skin, even though he washed off the dried blood somewhat unceremoniously before debrief and he stinks. He should shower, but that would add ten minutes between him and Steve. It’s a selfish, unhygienic thought, but one he has anyways.

Steve takes a deep breath and stirs a little, and Bucky goes still, holds his breath until he settles again, face tucked into the pillow. Bucky’s heart feels too big for his body, then, and he decides that a shower can wait. He’ll change the sheets the next morning, as penance.

He crawls into his side of the bed, and wraps his arms around Steve’s middle, tucking his face into the rise of his neck and taking a breath. He smells clean and warm and a little like lavender--something about some fancy lotion he bought recently, his brain supplies-- he smells like home.

Bucky hopes a little distractedly that Steve will wake up on his own. He wants a kiss or a thousand and his heart yearns for Steve’s smile, but he also knows that once Steve’s up, he’s up. Bucky’s been jealous of him forever. How the hell can you get out of bed at three in the morning and be ready to go without so much as a cup of coffee? Standing there all chipper, eyes a little tired but bright nonetheless while the rest of the Howlies scraped themselves off the dirt trying to find some sort of energy. He could blame the serum, but the truth is he’s always been like that, even when he was too sick to stand. It’s absurd, is what it is. Bucky takes a breath and presses his lips to the back of Steve’s shoulder.

Steve doesn’t wake up quite, but he does lean back against Bucky’s chest, warm. It’s not a kiss, but it’ll do.

Not such a bad thing at all.

“Buck?” Steve asks sleepily, a few hours later, once the sun is filtering in through the blinds. He yawns and stretches a little. Bucky doesn’t even have to look at the clock to know that it's six-thirty on the dot. “When’d you come home?”

“Few hours ago.” He mumbles, and he feels Steve turn in his arms, and put a hand on his chest right over his heart. Bucky opens his eyes. The fine smatter of freckles over Steve’s nose greet him, and he can’t help but smile. “I love you,” He says, sincere, and Steve smiles, finally. Nearly a century’s worth of hearing it, and it still makes him blush. Some primal part of Bucky's ego swells with that. If he were anywhere near half awake he's probably puff his chest out like a fucking rooster or something equally stupid.

“Aw hell,” He says, laughing a little at himself before leaning forward to give Bucky a quick kiss. “I missed you. You okay?”

Bucky nods and holds Steve tighter, closer. “You gonna go run?”

Steve thinks about it, at least he pretends to. “No,” Steve says finally, simple as that. Bucky kisses him again.

Bucky could sleep another ten hours, and Steve’s liable to let him, even if he himself won’t. Steve puts a hand in Bucky’s hair and scratches at his scalp softly; it feels good, but Bucky makes a face, cause it’s dirty and greasy, and he really needs that shower. “What?”

Bucky shrugs. “I need a shower.” He says but makes no move to get up. “I stink.”

“You don’t.”

“Liar,” Bucky says, and then has to yawn right through it. “Don’t let me keep you if you got things to do.” He mumbles, resting his head against Steve’s collarbone.

It's mostly just so Steve doesn’t think he has to waste his day next to his exhausted and frankly quite dirty boyfriend. Not that said boyfriend will complain about lazing in bed all day next to him. In fact, that’s at the top of his things to do today list. He’s so warm and soft and right there. Bucky slides his hands up under Steve’s shirt, pressing them against his back. Bucky feels like he’s made of silly putty.

“Ain’t a damn thing in the world that’s more important than you,” Steve says, says it in the way he gets sometimes, all serious like he’s under oath or something. Bucky bites him and then kisses right over it.

“We work too much,” Bucky mumbles, feeling himself fall back into that syrupy sleep state. His hand is still in Bucky’s hair. He yawns again, and Steve smiles, kisses his nose. “Should take a vacation.”

“Should retire.” Steve one-ups him.

It’s a joke, kind of. Only it’s not.

“Yeah, we should,” Bucky says. He means it. He means it this time. “Sit on the porch and read the newspaper, and then fuck like married people at the end of the day,” Bucky says, and Steve laughs. He yawns again, and Steve says something, maybe, but he doesn’t quite catch it.

“Did you mean it?” Steve asks later, much later, when the sun’s going down again and they’ve both showered. He’s sitting on the opposite end of the couch, holding a cooling mug of tea in one hand, sketchbook open but untouched on his lap.

“Mean what?” Bucky asks, looking up from his phone. He pokes his socked foot into Steve’s hip when he doesn’t get an answer. “Hey,” He says, frowning a little. Steve won’t look at him, embarrassed for whatever reason. “Come here.” He asks, and Steve dutifully sets his cup down and snaps his sketchbook closed before scooching over to sit near Bucky. He throws an arm around his shoulders and manhandles him around, a little so that he’s sitting up against Bucky’s chest.

“Mean what, baby?” Bucky asks again.

Steve shrugs, and then sighs. He turns to look at him. “That we should retire.”

Bucky blinks and then thinks about it. He could do without shipping out every couple of days, he’s getting old, after all. They both are, technically, but Steve wears it better. Probably because he did all his sleeping in one go. Even then, Bucky’s a year older, so he has well earned the right to complain, thank you very much.

“Yeah.” He says, and it surprises both of them. Steve turns to look at him, eyes wide, mouth half caught on a smile like he’s not sure he should yet. “You?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I think… I think I did.” He says, and then a smile curls onto his face. Bucky laughs at him, for good measure, and Steve kisses him. “I miss you, you know.”

“Aw, babe,” Bucky teases, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder and hugging him close.

“Oh, Lord.” Steve chuckles and tries to squirm away, but it’s half-hearted, and Bucky’s got too good of a grip on him for it to work. “You miss me?”

“Course I fucking miss you,” Bucky says, honest, and Steve surprises him by grabbing him by the chin and kissing him. The angle is a little weird, but it doesn’t matter.

“So what now, huh?” Steve asks, and Bucky shrugs.

“Sit on the porch,” Bucky suggests, and Steve snorts.

“We ain’t got a porch.”

“I’ll get you a house with a porch that wraps all the way around it, like in that movie you made me watch,” Bucky says, and Steve laughs.

“The Notebook?”

“Sure.” Bucky says, not sure himself of the name but he does know that the end made him get a little teary-eyed, and Steve full-on cried, like snot-bubble cried, and they didn't let go of each other for the rest of the day. Not a very comedic romantic comedy.

“Yeah, and what else?" Steve asks, still half-joking. "Could we get a dog?"

Bucky thinks about it, thinks about how somewhere in the middle of Europe they found a stray litter of puppies, how Steve carried three of them zipped in the front of his jacket until they found the nearest inhabited town, how he tried to hide how upset he really was when they had to leave. Bucky takes a good long look at him, how there's still a light dusting of blush on his cheeks, and puts a hand on his face.

“Whatever you want, doll.” Bucky says, and he means it.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Out Of Time ~ 135

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,665ish

Summary: Y/N wants a small wedding. Tony and her find out the gender of their baby. Steve and Y/N go for lunch. (Read note and the end of the chapter.)

“I want our wedding to be small,” Y/N stated randomly a few days after the proposal. She was currently sitting in Tony’s new workshop, watching him set things up. 

“Okay, honey,” Tony responded, not really hearing everything. 

“Like, really small.”

“Whatever you want, you know that.”

“Like only me, you, and whoever’s marrying us.”

Tony looked at Y/N. “What if I already told both Rhodey and Happy they could be my best men? And invited Pepper?”

“Really, Tony? I just… I think it would be easier, for me, if it was just us.”

Tony dropped what he was doing and turned so that he was giving Y/N his full attention. “May I ask why?”

“I just… this wedding… I… it’s stupid. Never mind.”

“No, no, no, no, no.” Tony rolled his chair so that the was right in front of Y/N, and took hold o her heads. “You tell me and I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

Y/N inhaled and exhaled shakily as Tony rubbed his thumbs over her hands. “I… I have no one to walk me down the aisle.”

“Oh, honey.” He reached up with one hand and cupped her cheek. She leaned into it. “I didn’t think about that.”

“I know that Steve’s still alive, but… I’m not ready for that yet. He didn’t trust me… and he—“ Y/N’s voice broke as she got emotional, “—he hasn’t for a long time. He’s also never liked the idea of me and you. So why would Steve even be willing to walk me down the aisle? And if he won’t, who will?”

Tony pulled Y/N onto her lap with a sigh. “If it makes you feel better, none of my family would be there either.”

Y/N buried her head in her hands. “Oh my gosh, I’m being so selfish. At least I have a family member still alive.”

“You are not being selfish, you’re being realistic.” He pressed a kiss to her head before gently guiding her hands away form her face. “How about… well, you know I really don’t like your brother right now either, but why don’t you try and ask him to walk you down the aisle? I think it would be good for the two of you, healing in a way. Maybe even tell him about the baby.”

“I’m not telling anyone until the second trimester.”

“Then wait until then. Meet him somewhere for lunch—“

“If there’s still a place open.”

“—and tell him.”

“I’m just… scared.”

“I know, honey. But I’m worried this will do you and the baby more harm than good.”

“Okay… in a few weeks, I’ll reach out.”

“That’s my girl.” He kissed her softly.

“I don’t want to be fat in our wedding pictures,” Y/N blurted out, pulling away from the kiss. 

Tony chuckled. “Then we’ll get married after the baby is born. We’ll wait until the baby is old enough and we can get Happy and Pepper to take care of it.”

“Why are you so good to me?”

“Maybe cause you’re so good to me.”

~~~

Week 10 started with the “pregnancy glow” and Tony constantly commenting on how big Y/N’s breasts were getting. 

Week 11, her growing baby bump was causing aches and cramping. At one point, Tony found Y/N curled up on the floor, crying. He felt terrible that she was going through this. Tony carefully lifted her up, tucking her into bed, and spent the day cuddling her. 

Week 12, the nausea was basically gone, making the couple happy. 

Week 13 was full of dizziness. Y/N was struggling to stand up or stay standing by herself. This caused Tony to order her to bed rest, over-dramatically.

Week 14 came and it was the start of the second trimester. The doctor came over to check on both mother and baby, as well as reveal the gender. Y/N was hesitant to know the gender, wanting it to be a surprise. But Tony was an impatient child who was going to end up getting his way, legally or otherwise.

“Okay,” the doctor hummed, beginning the ultrasound. “We have ten toes, a strong heart beat, ten fingers.” Tony held onto Y/N’s hand tighter as he watched the screen intently. “Are you sure you’re ready to know the gender.”

“Yes!” / “No.”

“Come on, honey,” Tony begged. “I just want to know so we can start decorating and picking out names. Please?”

Unfortunately, Tony’s big brown eyes were hard to say no to. Y/N was going to be totally screwed if their child ended up with his eyes, but at least Tony would then get a taste of his own medicine.

“Fine,” she conceded.

“Yay!” Tony celebrated, giving her a kiss. “Now, doc, what is it?”

“Congratulations, it’s a girl,” the doctor told them with a smile.

“Yes!” Tony cheered. “I knew it!”

“You knew it?” Y/N questioned.

“I told you, I had a dream about it. So real. And we named her Morgan.”

“So I’m guessing any other names are off the table because you had a dream about it?”

“Like I said, it was so real.”

“I’ll have to think about it. While I do, can you go grab me a water, I’m dying of thirst.”

“Of course.” Tony kissed her templed before rushing off.

“Doc,” Y/N turned her attention to the doctor, “is it… this is so awkward but, is it okay to have sex? Even while being pregnant?”

“It’s completely safe,” the doctor chuckled slightly. “I’m guessing your sex drive as gotten a boost this week?”

“You have no idea. Literally anything Tony does makes me want horny. I was just scared—“

“Every new parent is. But you’re fine. The baby is well protected and higher up than you think.”

“So it won’t, like mess anything up?”

“Nope, you’re completely fine. I say enjoy it while it lasts, because it won’t last very long.”

“Thank you so much.”

~~~

That night, Tony was getting ready for bed while Y/N laid down, watching him. 

“Tony?” She called.

“Yes, dear?” He responded, looking her way.

“The doctor said it was okay to have sex.”

Tony choked a little. “Wh-what? You asked them that?”

“Well, lately, my sex drive has started to kick up and everything you do makes me horny.”

“Everything I do, huh?” He wiggled his brows. 

“So, please, help me?”

He came over and placed a seductive kiss on her lips. “I will always help you,” he whispered.

~~~

Week 15 came with extra clumsiness and a dreaded phone call. Tony was out getting groceries as Y/N at there, staring at her phone. She needed to call Steve and tell him everything. Things either needed to start getting better or they needed to fall apart once and for all. After taking a deep breath, Y/N finally pressed call and held the ringing phone to her ear. She felt like it had rung for hours before she finally heard Steve’s voice.

“Y/N?” He wondered, clearly confused. “Are you okay? Is something wrong?”

“I’m fine, Steve. I was just calling to see if you would like to meet up for lunch soon?” Y/N said, trying to remain calm. “We need to talk.”

She heard him sigh. “Yeah, I suppose we do. I’m free tomorrow. I know a place in the city that’s open. I’ll text you the address. Say we meet up around 1?”

“That sounds great. I’ll see you then.”

“Right. Okay. See you then.”

Y/N hung up and leaned back agains the couch, closing her eyes. She could do this, she had to do this.

~~~

Steve was nervous. So nervous, that he had arrived at the restaurant about an hour and a half before he was to meet Y/N. They had always had their differences, but he knew that the past couple of years had really driven a rift between the two. With him being the main reason for that. He was stuck in his own head when Y/N finally sat across from him.

“Steve,” she greeted, not giving anything away.

“Y/N,” he responded, with a small smile. “How have you been?”

“I’ve be fine. You?”

“Same.”

Before the conversation could actually go anywhere, the server came up and they ordered. Steve was a bit surprised at how much Y/N had ordered. 

“You hungry?” He tried to joke after the server left.

“Well it’s really hard not to be when you’re eating for two,” Y/N responded.

“W-wh-what? Eating for… t-two?”

“I’m pregnant, Steve.”

“Wha—how? I-I-I mean, who’s is it?”

“Really, Steve? Guess.”

“Well from what I was told you were seeing both Bucky and Stark. So I really—“

“It’s Tony’s. I… while I was dating both of them, I had rules. Like no sex.”

“And so Bucky dies and you break that rule?”

“Really, Steve? You know what?” She shook her head, pushing herself to stand up. “I don’t know why I let Tony talk me into doing this. I don’t need you there at the wedding. I can—“

“Hold up, Y/N, sit down. I’m sorry. I was just… I haven’t been good with my emotions for a very long time. Can you just sit back down, so we can talk about this?”

“Fine,” Y/N huffed.

“Before I get into anything more, I just want to make sure that I heard you correct. Did you say something about a wedding?”

“Tony and I are getting married.”

“That’s… that’s… good. You both deserve some happiness.”

“Thanks. We’re going to get married after the baby arrives.”

“Smart.”

“And I was… I was hoping that you might walk me down the aisle. And before you say anything, I realize that you, and Tony and I don’t have the best relationship, but I have no family. Only you.”

“I… I’d be honored too. But are you sure Tony wants me there? That you want me there?”

“You’re my twin and my only living relative, of course I want you there. But only if you want to be there. And, Tony just wants me to be happy. That’s all he’s ever wanted.”

“I’d love to walk you down the aisle. On one condition.”

“What is it?”

“You tell me the baby’s gender.”

“It’s a girl.” Y/N smiled, rubbing her belly. “Her name is Morgan.”

“Morgan. I like it. Are you planning to give her a middle name?”

“Currently that’s up for debate. I like Sarah or Maria, but Tony’s insisting on Howard.”

“Howard?”

“Yeah, I know. He’ll probably end up getting his way. Just can’t let him know that yet.”

Y/N and Steve sat at the table, talking and laughing, for a few hours. It was nice, good, different. Especially after all that had happened. Steve walked Y/N to her car.

“Can we do this more often?” Steve asked, a little nervous. “I’ve missed this, missed us.”

“I’d like that,” Y/N responded. She hugged Steve. “I love you, Steve.”

“Love you too.”

~~~

“Hey,” Tony greeted as Y/N entered his workshop. “How was lunch?”

“It was good,” she responded, leaning in for a kiss. “Of course, not everything is fixed and we still have a long way to go before we ever get back to where we once were.”

“You’re welcome,” Tony smirked, giving her another kiss. “Do you want to see what I’ve done for Morgan’s room today?”

“I think you’re nesting more than I am.”

“Probably right. I just want everything to be perfect and ready for our little girl.”

“And, knowing you, nothing with be. There’s always going to be something that needs fixing or updating.”

“How lucky am I to have a woman that knows me so well?”

“Extremely.”

~~~

Week 16, Y/N began experiencing her skin darkening around her nipples, inner thigh, armpits, and navel. She grew concerned but luckily Tony had already read all about it and told her that there was nothing to worry about. This week she also began to wedding plan. Nothing big, just looking at dresses and flowers and cakes. Steve and her had also began texting back and forth, as had her and Nat.

Week 17 was full of backaches and pregnancy brain. Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the pregnancy brain, though was immediately there to help soothe the backaches.

It was now the beginning was week 18, and Y/N felt like her boobs were huge. Tony enjoyed it, which led to them having sex a few times. They had just finished showering. Tony was getting dressed after helping Y/N do so, as Y/N laid in bed. Her hand was on her stomach when she suddenly she felt this uncomfortable pressure. She groaned.

“You okay, honey?” Tony asked, slightly concerned.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Y/N responded. “I’m sure it’s—ugh.”

Tony was quickly by her side. “What is it?”

“There’s these pressure.” She rubbed her stomach. “It’s coming and going and—ah!”

“Maybe I should call the doctor.”

“No, no, I think I’ll—ah!”

“Yep, calling the doctor. Unless…”

“Unless what, Tony?”

“Hang on.” 

Tony pushed Y/N’s shirt up, revealing her growing bump, and rested his hands on it. The pressure happened again. Y/N winced.

“There is it again,” she said through clenched teeth. Tony couldn’t help but break out into giddy laughter. “What are you laughing at?”

“She’s kicking,” Tony responded with a large grin. “Morgan’s kicking.”

“What?” There is was again.

“Hey there, Morguna, I can feel you,” Tony leaned in and spoke to the baby. “Be kinder on your momma, will ya?”

“She’s kicking,” Y/N repeated softly. “She’s kicking.”

“Yeah she is. And I can already tell she’s a fighter, just like her parents.”

~~~

Week 19 was full of heartburn and constipation. Steve and Y/N also met up for lunch, slowly making amends.

Week 20, Morgan was restless. Kicking up a storm. Y/N was getting little sleep. It wasn’t helping that she also had leg cramps and swelling int he hands and feet.  The only time Morgan would calm down was when Tony was talking to her. But Y/N couldn’t wake Tony all the time, that just wasn’t fair. So Tony, ever the clever Tony, recorded himself telling stories and singing songs to play so that they could get sleep. Still wasn’t helping Y/N all that much, but it was at least calming Morgan down.

Week 21 was almost just as restless as the previous and added shortness of breath. Tony was extremely worried about that. Luckily the doctor was already planning on coming by. The doctor said that it was normal and that Y/N just needed to take it real easy. The doctor also told them that Morgan was looking very healthy, which put the parents at ease.

“She’s going to look just like you,” Y/N told Tony one night as he was rubbing her belly and talking to Morgan. “I know it.”

“You don’t want her looking like me,” Tony chuckled with a shake of his head. “Besides, she’s going to be beautiful, just like her mother.” Tony got quiet and solemn looking. “Do you think I’ll be like my father?”

Y/N knew this question was going to come up eventually. She was just hoping it would be later. “I knew knew Howard as a father. I just knew him as a good man. And I’ve always felt bad about how he treated you, that you didn’t know the man I did. But, Tony,” she cupped his face and made eye contact with him, “you are not your father. And you have learned from him. You will be the greatest father for our child.”

“You think so?”

“I know so. I would have never let this continue on if I didn’t.”

“I’m so lucky to have you by my side.”

“I know."

next chapter >

I leave for Disney World in a week. It is the last big family vacation that I will be on for a while.Because of that, I will not be on tumblr March 19th through March 24th. I will actually be deleting the app so that it’s not a distraction.

Most likely, nothing will be posted during that time. If something is, it will have been queued up. Things that are posted while I’m out of town will not have tag lists attached. I will put this note in all the fic posts until then. 

So do not come at me for spending time with my family instead of including the tag list. (I say that knowing that people won’t care and still come at me.... be respectful and get over yourself.)

And in case you didn’t read the note at the end of the last chapter, I will be doing two endings (Tony’s Ending and Bucky’s Ending).

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

I desperately need a hug/snuggles/spending the night by my bedside type of thing with either Nomad Steve, Johnny Storm, Ransom Drysdale, Curtis Everett, or all of the above. Just not feeling the greatest and need a booster if at all possible.

Scuffles broke out in the tail end all the time, people so high strung in these hellish hostile conditions, they so easily turned on one another when it became to much.

You just happened to be in the middle of this one. You ducked against the wall, trying not to get stamped on or stabbed as screams and yells echoed off the walls. Ducking your head under your arms when things started flying through the air.

Someone get me out, Please!

Hands were suddenly scooping you off the ground, panic making you fight in resistance at first till you were crushed into an all familiar chest and voice grunted in your ear. "Hush, I'm getting you out of here."

You clung to him, if at all possible you would have sink into him to never return at all. Eyes screwed shut, you put your trust in Curtis. Before you knew it, the screams were fading behind you and Curtis was unfolding you from his grasp and into his lap. Large protective hands tilting your face off his chest where you had it pressed. "Let me see You Pretty Girl."

Your fingers curled into his threadbare sweater while your racing heart started to calm down, the gentle touches he gave along your face and neck were soothing, his voice a deep calm that you let settle into your chest. When you did lift your gaze to look at him, there was relief in his sharp eyes as he cupped your cheek. "Thats my girl, you had me scared for a minute."

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself in close to him. Truth be told, so were you.

It was so dark when the Nomad found his way into your home, cautious as always while he descended down the hallway. It was always a throw caution to the wind moment coming to you, but a man, even those on the run, still had needs.

And that was you, your arms became the home he craved, the one he never had before. How good it felt to be welcomed, not for what he could give you, but for the simple fact that he needed you and you were never one to take from him.

Maybe it was selfish on his part to want something just good in his life, but the moment he saw you kneeling in the center of the bed waiting for him, he didnt mind being a selfish man.

Encased in silver moonlight, you effieciently helped him shed the captain identity till there was nothing but steve rogers falling into your bed. Shared kisses passed between you both as he caged you underneath him, your hands sliding to link over his shoulders and legs around his slender hips.

"Welcome home Steve"

"Mhm so good Kitten." Ransom praised as he reached up to loosen the knot on the headboard, freeing you from your ties. You couldnt help the shy but proud smile as you sunk into the pillows beneath you while his hands rubbed along your arms to ease any of the tension.

"Took it all so well, how do you feel?" He inquired. Ransom might be a son of a bitch most the time, but these moments after you two had particularly rough sex, he was doting. Checking in, taking care of you, making sure your needs were met after you allowed him his.

"I'm okay, thirsty?" You croaked out and he nodded, going to grab you a water which you took gratefully. He settled in behind you, hands rubbing along your back until you settled back into him, coccooned in his arms.

Tomorrow he would be back to his smug selfish behaviour, but tonight Ransom Drysdale was only about one thing. You.

The weather outside was truly frightful. Cold sunk into your bones till you felt like you would never warm back up.

But you knew better because you had a secret weapon. Johnny.

After stamping the snow off, and shedding your outer wear, you went to seek him out following the sound of excited curses and video games. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, controller in hand trying to beat a level.

Grey sweats and a white wife beater never looked so hot on a person. You admired a moment till you were curling up to him. A sideways glance from him had him suddenly hitting save and wrapping you into his arms, making you squeal in surprise as he pulled you into his lap, falling into a recline on the couch.

"You are frozen, you came to the right place to warm up babygirl." He teased with warm kisses across your face as you wriggled in his lap to get comfy. And maybe tease him a bit as he groaned softly against your lips.

"You are my own personal furnace Johnny" you rubbed your nose against his as you tucked your hands in under his shirt, effectively feeling him start to heat a bit more.

"Always glad to be of service." He winked and shared a playful kiss that had you giggling against his lips. "I missed you today, I'm glad your finally back. Your spending the night right?"

"If You dont mind, I don't want to go back out in that tonight and try to hail a cab."

You swore the bigger he grinned, the warmer he got as he tightened his arms around you. "Stay as long as you want Babygirl. I love having you here."

A/N- nonnie, I hope your night/day gets better babes 💙 sending all the love and hugs possible. Also I wrote this at 3 am, so any weird mistakes, its because I'm half asleep still.

[plus-size-reader]

Lightweight

Natasha Romanoff x Plus size!reader

Word Count: 1475 words

Warnings: alcohol?

Summary: Natasha has the sweetest, most lightweight gf who gets a little too enthusiastic about Thor's liquor

I really love the HC where Bucky and Nat are really close, and used that a lot in this one. It just makes me happy. 

——————————————————————————————————

To say that you weren’t what people expected when they thought about Natasha’s partner was an understatement.

The two of you couldn't have been more different, but she always said that was why you worked so well together. Where she was a bit rough around the edges and aggressive, you couldn't have been softer. While she was a literal assassin, you taught kindergarten in a small school downtown.

Really, there was no reason for anyone to think the two of you would have ever crossed paths.

...and maybe they wouldn't have, if it hadn't been for the party.

It was no secret that Natasha wasn’t super vocal about her private life, and that didn’t really change much when it came to you. While she didn’t hide you away, or pretend that you weren’t part of her life, she just didn’t believe in oversharing in the way certain other avengers did.

She was private.

She always had been, and it seemed easier to keep those sorts of things to herself, even when they made her as happy as you did. Maybe it was because she was paranoid, and worried for your safety, or being selfish and keeping you to yourself.

In any case, it was fine for a while, but over several months, you two got more and more close, and keeping you away from the Avengers wasn’t an option.

They were her family, and she wanted you to feel close to them. She wanted you to be able to get to know them and vise versa, that way maybe Steve would stop trying to set her up with all kinds of random people.

Admittedly though, this wasn't what Nat had in mind when she suggested that you come with her to the party Tony was throwing.

Speaking of, at the moment, you were standing on the table in Tony Stark’s apartment, surrounded by all her friends, dancing like a maniac and carrying on. It was quite a scene, but no one was really surprised.

If there was one thing that they had picked up on in the last few hours of the event, it was that you were very clearly a lightweight.

From the moment you walked in the door, they all knew that you had no place in this world, in Natasha’s world. You had sensible shoes on, and not a hair was out of place. As far as the Avengers were concerned, you'd wandered in from the street, searching for the Barnes and Noble.

Anything would have made more sense than you actually showing up here on purpose.

Though, when you walked through the door hand-in-hand shortly after a very dolled up Natasha, everything sort of snapped into place for them. She had been talking cryptically about a new partner she was seeing for quite some time.

The pieces fell into place organically from there.

You entered slowly, surveying the place with quick eyes darting back and forth. It was like you were going to miss something if you weren't careful. It wasn't until you laid eyes on Clint that you visibly relaxed.

A second friendly face made it a little easier to not have to cling to your girlfriend all night long.

Luckily, the cocktails came pretty quickly after you did and that helped you loosen up even more. "Who's carrying Y/N to the car tonight?" Clint laughed, tossing an arm around your shoulder, making it clear he was joking with you.

The others laughed as well, though they didn't know that the man was drawing from personal experience. The first time you three got together and had dinner, you drank a glass of wine and nearly had to be carried out to the car.

It was funny looking back, though in the moment, you had been so sick that you slightly winced at the memory.

He often joked that getting you drunk was like giving a baby a lemon for the first time, except there was no limit to how many times they could get a laugh out of it. That was about the time that Thor brought out a special treat, something he had been waiting to share for quite some time in hopes that it would provide some much needed entertainment.

Though, this was much better than he could have even expected.

Somewhere along the line, the music had gotten turned all the way up and was blaring through the speakers while you danced, without a care in the world.

You couldn’t even handle regular beer and wine, with hard liquor being out of the question. It only followed that something out of this realm was going to be much harder to handle.

“You-” you slurred, somehow trying to scream over the music. Everyone else was remaining rather calm, all things considered, just watching the situation unfold. Steve and Bucky were still as sober as can be, with Thor, Banner, and Tony hardly feeling anything.

They didn't seem to even bat an eye as you made a fool out of yourself, finding the entire exchange endearing if nothing else.

However, Nat, who you were now pointing out, was anything but calm. All she could think about was you tripping and falling off that table, or getting hurt in some other way. Even if you didn’t somehow break your neck, she knew you would have a killer hangover tomorrow.

“You, are so beautiful” you stammered, finishing your sentence which was a miracle at this point. Your had been stuttering and blanking through several songs that she knew you knew by heart, which was usually when she cut you off.

It was sweet, sure, but she could hardly even react before the laughs set in.

“Awe, you hear that ‘tasha” Barton grinned, gesturing up at you with the tail end of his beer, which he had been nursing for the last hour. He had never been much of a drinker, especially not since having kids.

He was just soaking it all in.

"You hush, I love her so much" you tutted, earning another gaggle of laughs from the surrounding group. You didn’t care that she was a killer, or that she had a past more blood soaked than anyone else's you'd ever known.

All you cared about was her, and the way that she made you feel. You knew that she was no threat to you, or anyone else, as far as you were concerned.

Natasha couldn't hurt a fly, at least when you were in her presence. You really thought that she was a good person, and knowing that made her feel like less of the monster she'd come to believe she was in recent years.

You believed in her, and that was enough for her.

Still, that sort of loving, reassuring was hard to focus on while you were fighting with the buttons of your blouse. "Okay sweetheart, let's get you down" Bucky suggested, shooting the redhead a glance for permission which she gave gratefully before he helped you down from the table.

He never would have touched you without some kind of allowance but he had been around enough intoxicated young ladies to know that nothing good ever came after they started stripping.

The large man lifted you from the table without any problem at all, making you gasp before erupting into a fit of giggles. "Hey, get your hands off me you big teddy bear, I'm taken" you grinned, clearly amused with yourself.

Bucky said nothing, only setting you down on the couch where he'd been sitting a few seconds ago. Perhaps out of second nature, he headed toward the front door to get your shoes, just like he'd done for Steve all those years ago.

Believe it or not, he had never been able to hold his liquor either, and Buck had spent a number of nights scooping his little buddy up of the floor and cleaning vomit out of his car. Seeing you in a similar state just triggered some old instinct in him.

"You need help getting her home?" Tony asked finally, talking to Natasha. Even if he had asked you, you weren't paying him any mind. You were too busy admiring Steve's blue eyes for anything like that.

The redhead only smiled in thanks before shaking her head. "No, I've got this." she smiled, making it clear to the rest of the group that this also wasn't her first time dealing with this from you.

"Let me know when you get home, and don't forget the water and aspirin" Bucky suggested, giving Nat a sideways hug before handing her your shoes. She smiled in thanks again, gathering herself while you muttered your goodbyes to all your new 'best friends'.

"Good to meet you sweetheart" Bucky hummed, helping you into your shoes while Natasha said goodbye to Clint and the others, thanking them for a great evening. Right now, you were on cloud nine with no signs of ever coming down, but they all knew you would be in a world of hurt in the morning.

[rosecoloredbi-writes]

When the Spark Came Back

Summary: Y/N and Steve dating in high school until suddenly, they weren't. Steve had pushed Y/N away with no explanation. Years later, Y/N finds Steve on stage playing with his band and gathers the nerve to take a step towards healing.

A/N: there is a part 2 to this that I'll be posting momentarily.

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Content Warnings: Swearing? Mentions of parents divorce and kicking their kid out, I think that's it.

It had been too long since you had seen him. You think of the time that has passed by cruelly. Back then you had all been so full of life, so excited for the future, and now, here you were: a jaded 25 year old just looking for relief. College had been good to you, you grew into your own person instead of staying on the steady path of who everyone else had wanted you to be. You opened your arms to adventures rather than shrink from them. You put what you wanted first, and loved yourself first.

The thing that was cruel about time is that now, you no longer felt that excitement about life. Instead you dreaded facing the next day and drug your feet around.

But everything was different around him.

The steady beat of the bass filled your senses. The vibration practically waking you up from the awful nightmare life had been. Then you saw him, and your heart finally felt less heavy. He began strumming his guitar easily and you started singing along. Then you felt the warm glow in your chest and a blush rose to your cheeks as the memories started flooding back.

He had been your first love. In high school he was popular. Everyone loved him or was jealous of him. Eventually, a new boy moved to town and dethroned him of his title of King of Hawkins. He chilled out then. Became more down to earth, and that is when you really began to notice him. He hung out with kids around your sister’s age and could be found driving them to the arcade or bowling or every once in a while he would take them out one on one to get ice cream. He was more tender than he ever allowed himself to be.

To your surprise, he had begun to notice you too. He noticed the way you would shyly smile at him anytime he caught your eye. The way your eyes would light up when you got passionate in classes, and eventually on dates. He noticed everything and was quickly smitten.

The lead singer asked the crowd how they were doing, and the erupting cries brought you back into the present. He was just as lovely now as he ever had been. He had grown out of some of his boyish features, but his eyes still shined with childlike innocence. He still had his long wavy hair that he would run his hands through when they weren’t busy attending to the guitar strings and gripping the neck of his guitar.

You allowed yourself to get lost in the music, but as the concert came to an end you were filled with anxiety. Coming here had been a terrible decision. What if he had forgotten about you? What if that flame you still secretly held had fizzled out over the years apart? You knew that was a huge possibility, but your heart still silently thumped in hope that maybe, just maybe he still felt the same. Even though he had hurt you there had to be a reason, right? You don’t go from being absolutely in love to not overnight.. right?

Your feet carried you to the merch table where the band was hanging out, talking to fans and signing shirts and vinyls, and taking photos. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you heard your voice call out to him.

“Steve?” you yelled a little more than you asked. You closed your eyes for the briefest of moments and took in a deep inhale. When you opened your eyes, his were glued to you.

“Y/N? Is that really you?” he asked as he closed the large gap between the two of you.

“Ha, yeah, it’s me…” you answered, playing with your hair to give your hands something to do. “Uh, hi.” you smiled shyly up at him and suddenly you were both back in high school.

“Hey! Hi. Uh, you are Y/N, right?” Steve asked, running his hands through his hair quickly.

“Yeah… do you need something?” you asked. That would be the only obvious reason Steve Harrington would ever talk to you. Maybe he needed notes from a class or something.

“Actually yes,” he said smiling, “I am in desperate need of your number.”

Your eyes grew wide with shock, but you nodded, knowing words were not going to help you at the moment. You grabbed a pen from your bookbag and quickly wrote down your phone number on his hand, double-checking it to make sure you wrote it down correctly in your fuzzy state.

You hadn’t noticed then, but Steve blushed at the contact of your hands and he swore he had fallen in love with you right then and there.

Steve wrapped his arms around you in a soul-crushing hug that you wished could have lasted forever. Much to your disdain, you were the one to pull back, looking over him all sweaty and still pumped from playing with his band. When your eyes met his, you realized he had been staring too.

“Do you want to get some food once I am done here?” he asked, running his hands through his hair quickly.

You nodded, “I can wait over there?” you said pointing to a few benches, “Take your time, I don’t mind.”

Steve pulled you into another hug before you walked over and sat down.

You watched him interact with fans, and couldn’t help but feel the familiar rush of butterflies anytime he looked at you. You busied yourself staring at your hands and picking carefully at your nails, an anxious habit you had. You smoothed out the black, denim mini skirt you were wearing a few times and retucked your t-shirt until you were satisfied with how it looked and cleaned your glasses. Finding anything to help keep your nerves down.

Finally, you felt a hand on your knee and looked over to find Steve kneeling in front of you, smiling up at you, just like he would in high school.

“You ready?” he asked, offering his hand to help you up.

You took his hand and allowed him to pull you up before answering, “Hell yes I am ready.”

You both decided it would be best if you drove since the vehicle Steve had access to was the band’s tour van. So there you were, driving down the street to your favorite diner. It was still hard to think straight, him being so close to you, but you managed to drive safely in your dad’s old VW Bug. Once the car was parked and you were both out of the car, instinct took over and you grabbed his hand, leading him inside to your favorite booth near the kitchen.

After you had both sat there awkwardly staring at the menu for far too long and the food got there, the conversation started flowing freely. You guys talked about what you’ve been up to, college for you, the band for him. How your families were, how you handled the death of your father. You found out that Steve had gotten a dog, which had been his dream since he was younger, but never could because his parents weren’t around long enough for him to ever bring it up.

“Okay, Steve… I have to ask. What happened?” Your eyebrows drew up, worried about the answer you may get. “I mean… What happened to us? Did you not love me anymore? Was there someone else? I have just been so confused all these years. I haven’t been able to get over you because you never gave me closure.”

Steve thought long and hard before answering and stared long and hard at the mostly eaten burger in front of him. Steve looked like he was going to open his mouth, but stopped for a moment. Instead, he looked you in the eyes before reaching to grab your hand. Something that had always been comforting to you.

“After we graduated, I seriously felt like there was nothing we couldn’t do. That it would always just be me and you and we could take on the world. Then, my parents were home for a while if you remember. They had seemed like they were closer than ever, and I was so happy. I had my parents and I had you and we were no longer stuck in high school. Then, I watched as my parent’s marriage fell apart… and it shook me. It really should not have been a surprise, they generally acted like things were wonderful and they were happy before shit hit the fan. But this shit was permanent. They announced their impending divorce and that I should look at moving into my own place. I just… I couldn’t handle it. I mean, we had been looking at places to move into together, but this made me feel like I was being kicked out of my family. That my family didn’t really exist anymore.” Steve took his hand back for a moment and ran them through his hair a couple of times.

“Y/N, I felt like I had nothing. I know I had you, but the only way I knew how to cope with things was to push everything and everyone as far away as possible. I have regretted not saying goodbye to you every single day since and it has torn me apart. I so wish I could have explained everything to you, and maybe things wouldn’t be the way they are now.” Again he looked at you intensely, but his eyes were soft, before continuing.

“If you need to get over me, I understand. I was so, so selfish 7 years ago. But I also need you to know that I am still in love with you. Seeing you today, it was almost like the lights had come back on. I have been living in the darkness I didn’t know about until today and I will be damned if I don’t say something. Just… please think about it? I know so much time has passed and we are probably so different than we were, but I would be so honored to get to know you again.”

It looked as if tears were welling up in his eyes that he was willing to not spill over.

“Steve, you really hurt me. I need you to understand that one day we were attached at the hip and just, so enthralled with each other, and the next, you were gone. It was almost like you had died in the middle of the night. If you were to leave me again like that, I honestly think it would break me into pieces that could not be mended.”

You took a deep breath, soaking in everything, including the way your eyes began to fill with tears and even let them spill over onto your cheeks, finally getting the relief you have needed for so long. You dabbed at your face with a napkin and looked back up at Steve, who sat there utterly heartbroken at seeing the hurt spill out from you.

After another deep breath, you finished your thoughts.

“I would love to get to know you again too, Steve Harrington.”