#Stan joins in at the same time and is THRIVING

[vegalocity]

I mentioned this in a server chat but i think it's funny-

now that i actually have been a dungeon master for Dungeons and Dragons im physically incapable of watching the gravity falls episode "Dungeons Dungeons and More Dungeons" because i cant possibly be expected to presume that the lesson was 'Stan and Mabel need to learn to get out of their comfort zone and might end up surprised' when Ford and Dipper are shown to be extremely inhospitable DMs to anyone with a different play style other than themselves

[c0la-queen]

Tord Headcanons | The Stoic One

---

Let's start with his physical appearance!

My Tord has pale skin, since he is from Norway and doesn't get a lot of sun.

His hair is naturally that dark brown color that we see in Classic, but he dyes it the caramel brown color from Legacy- though, sometimes he can be seen with dark brown roots when he needs to touch up the dye.

My Tord has silver eyes, and I often describe them as piercing or being able to see through people. I think his eyes are one of the most unnerving parts of Tord, and makes people uncomfortable.

No facial hair- he shaves it if it starts to get stubbly.

Tord is the second tallest in my timeline, standing at 6'4 (I like my boys inhumanely tall). Edd is the only one taller than him and it pisses Tord off to no end.

I like to think Tord has the most athletic build of the group, being the military oriented one. He's not skinny and he doesn't have painfully unnatural muscles like you'd see in magazines. Think more along the lines of Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan. (Also has the juiciest man tiddies) Tord would alternate between going to the gym in the morning and going on morning runs through the neighborhood. He runs more often during the winter, since he's always thrived in cold weather. If Reader also liked working out or was interested in starting, he'd gladly let them join him. I think he'd even teach them self defense if they asked.

Because I think Tord would have some connection to his cultural roots, my Tord has a small tattoo of Yggdrasil on his collarbone, and an even smaller protection rune on one of his wrists. He has a piercing hole in one of his ears that he sometimes wears a simple black stud in; he got it pierced during his emo phase in high school.

Family life:

Tord is an older brother is one younger sister. He practically raised her until he moved out.

His dad was Red Leader before him and put him through intense training. Turned him into a child soldier. Resents his dad for it all.

Only time he ever argued with his dad is when he tried to give his sister the same training- Tord refused to let him.

Worst thing his dad ever did was make Tord do wilderness survival for 3 nights in a Norwegian forest. He was 12.

A Eurasian Lynx managed to find him, but he got away with only claw marks on his back. He's still got the scars.

He doesn't hate his mother, but he's not particularly close with her. Because his training started from such a young age, he spent most of his childhood around his father and other high ranking soldiers.

Cares a lot about his little sister and travels home to see her once or twice a year.

Now, personality:

My Tord is very apathetic sometimes, but mainly is just kind of calm and chill.

He likes to say that he'd rather be with his machines and inventions than other humans, but that's a bullshit lie and he's just being dramatic

Prefers being quiet, doesn't say a lot unless its under specific circumstances or he has commentary to give. He enjoys listening to Reader ramble endlessly, or just have her in his arms while he silently does some task.

He switched from cigarettes to vapes after a while, since its better than smoking and has more flavors available.

Likes energy drinks more than coffee, enjoys the variety they offer.

Actually pretty good at cooking, he'd cook for himself and his sister when his parents were busy with work.

Way smarter than he looks. If he had to take the ACT, he'd probably get a nearly perfect score.

A STEM girlie. He uses the garage as his workshop and spends most of the day there (not counting weekends).

Absolutely has a motorcycle in the garage. He rides it if he's having a low day and needs to get away. Has a special route that takes him the long way through the city before ending up at the cliff overlooking the neighborhood (the one we see in The End). Takes Reader on that route to cheer her up or clear her head. One time they fell asleep on the cliff and woke up to several calls from Edd, Tom, and Matt, who were all scared shitless.

Never gets cold. If someone comments on it, he says its "nothing compared to Norwegian cold." (The others are all tired of hearing that and roll their eyes)

Despite this, he's not dumb. He knows how to stay warm and how important it is. Will scold Reader for not wearing enough layers.

His music taste is so mixed up and wild that nobody can give it a name.

Probably reads the most out of the four, will never tell you what he's reading.

Gets angry about historical inaccuracies.

Not allowed to play Trivial Pursuit because he knows a bunch of random facts.

"Kill yourself." "This is why we can't have nice things."

Likes Super Smash Brothers and can create ass kicking combos for any character in a couple of rounds.

He works as a mechanical/chemical engineer. Works independently by taking commissions for blueprints and fixing machines for people. He mostly works at home in the garage but very rarely has to go to another location. He prefers to have the client talk to him over the phone or meet him.

Likes Liquid Death Mountain Water.

Smokes cigars occasionally, usually on special events.

Smells like smoky wood and vanilla.

Does some art every so often, but not as often as Edd.

Vibes/Aesthetic:

Red LED lights as the only light source

Night so late the entire house is silent

Sneaking out of the house to get candy and drinks at the gas station

Sleep Token playing on the drive

Anime on his laptop

Making battery acid drinks together

Fucking instead of sleeping

Athletic shorts and hoodies

Thigh high socks

Late night drives

Vape clouds and suckers

Trying to stay quiet

Playlist (Based off my Own Spotify Playlist for Him):

Sleep Token

CORPSE

Hollywood Undead

Twenty One Pilots

Kanye West

Childish Gambino

Eminem

Glass Animals

Rob Zombie

[queenhallebe]

https://www.tumblr.com/yoonminschoice/762647549916151808/the-jikookers-choice-why-im-not-a-jikooker-and?source=share

Bro, I get defending your ship and "debating" about who you believe is the real couple but literally why is Jimin & Jk's bond always accused of being fake. I'm tired of this fanservice term. Can people not believe Jimin & Jk are with other members without thinking they play shit up for the camera? Is this really what the fandom has come to?

Unfortunately anon, it is what the fandom has come to. They do it for reasons only they know of. But the obvious thing here is- this is Jimin and Jungkook we're talking about. And that on it's own is enough for them to be crucified.

It has become a norm to hate on anyone who is a part of BTS, or related to BTS in any way...wether as a fan or a coworker, or a family member. So it doesn't help that Jikook, of the famous BTS, and the two biggest soloists of the group are close. Anyone would hate them, and sometimes it be your own people! As much as Armys like to say you aren't an Army if you hate any of the members, but it's true. Sometimes it be the same Armys hating on these two.

I don't know about you Anon, but from what I've seen since I joined the fandom, jikook's biggest haters aren't the kpoppies, or locals.. whatever people prefer to call them.

6.It's the hyung line stans. I think you would know why I'm even saying this. For some reason, the hyungs don't have as much support as the maknaes, and who gets affected at the end of the day? Jikook. Why? Coz they're Jimin, and Jungkook. “ That is how they keep themselves relevant, atleast my fave doesn't have to resolve to fan service to sell, unlike Pigmin and Payolakook 🤢”

5. VMINers... These two are the soulmates of BTS,as we know. And Jungkook, “ separated” them. He “ played” besties. And this came directly from a girl on TikTok, legit..💀

4. KTHs... These are the V lovers. As the most followed on IG, I observed that a lot of people expected him to be the biggest soloist. And also because of his acting career, his model like figure- I mean he's perfect in all ways. And it is a lot of the subgroup that never ever expected Jimin to thrive alone. As time went on, they threw tantrums that V was being mistreated by Armys, BTS and HYBE. And we all know who got the most hate; Jungkook. The one man who was supposed to take care of V,his boyfriend! Did you know, that 99.9 % of taekookers are V biases? Now we all know 😀 and he's blamed for not supporting Taehyung, for not rebelling against HYBE that treated V unfairly.

3. JJKs...these are well known Y/Ns of the fandom; Jungkook stans. Mostly where the homophobia comes from, within the fandom. If I'm not wrong, there's a famous Wattpad story called motorsport..? And the biggest JK story ...I forgot what they call it. Oh yeah, mutual help!! And this is not a hate for the authors in any way. The JJKs love this type of thing, they j*rk of to these things. They write “ Jungkook's the type of boyfriend to-” . And what happens when they see Jimin jumping on JK's back and inhaling him?? “Jungkook is straight, Jimin is just an attention seeker, he loves queerbaiting so bad!” And if you haven't yet noticed, most JJKs love Jungkook as a soloist. They don't give a sh*t about any other member. BTS would be nothing without Jungkook, and the JK validation goes crazy, so Jimin is using him. Jimin is fake, and whatever he does with JK is only to help himself. Poor Jungkook...

2. I don't even know what to call these ones. But there's a certain subgroup within this fandom that believes it is jungkook's duty to end all the delusions in this fandom. They're the gossipers of the fandom. The drama lovers. They think BTS is Hollywood in some way. If Jimin laughs with Jimin today, they run to shipper accounts to find out what their opinion is. Tomorrow he laughs with Jin, they go to the senseless shippers accounts to hear the tea. They get confused in between, feel bad for the poor members whom apparently jungkook's switches like his underwear. They want Jungkook to have a stand. Now they ask themselves, and irritate others on the media,“ why doesn't Jungkook hug V when he knew Jimin was watching?? Why didn't he laugh at Jhope's joke? Why doesn't he just be decisive and love one member?” All because they decided to entertain the shipping drama...Now Jungkook is the enemy

1. I know a lot of people would disagree with this one. I mean no one wants their faves to be treated unfairly, and there is a softness towards one's own bias. But this is a truth that people deny still, to this day. No one gets hate like Jungkook in this fandom. Not outside, WITHIN the fandom... Yes, the hyung line is overlooked, Jimin is hated by KTHs, and V too is hated. But when one person out there finally decides to talk about Jungkook and the hate he's getting, it's all “ it happens to other members too” . It's suddenly, “ he's famous, he should have known” when sasaengs invade his privacy. “ Jungkook shouldn't get anything this time, let's vote for RM, JK will be happy that his hyung won!”

I absolutely agree that all members get hate, and this isn't a competition where one member's pain should be compared with another. But you also know what's not fair? Refusing to acknowledge that Jungkook is at the centre of almost everything here, centre of the BTS ships, centre of his own group, and the maknae. People refuse to just take their eyes off their bias just once, and see that Jungkook is getting hate from all sides of the fandom. He's always the one to throw under the bus, the one who will be “okay” at the end of the day. And I know it's taking forever to say this one thing, but people have resentment towards Jungkook in this fandom, and some don't even know it. It only took one album for people to expose themselves. And no one hates Jungkook in this fandom like a PJM!

“Look at how Jimin invested in his album, nothing was handed to him. He even sang in Korean, and got to the top! He worked so hard. Why should he be no.2 ? Especially to that Jungkook whom the entire fandom got his back, and scooter also? His songs weren't even all that!”

And in case no one here knows, Jikookers are 99.9% PJMs 😹😹. People can say whatever they want, but PJMs be acting like they graduated from Harvard. Like they're the ones who birthed Jimin. Just like KTHs and VMINers, they think their biases are suffering while everyone's got jungkook's back. They don't see that they have Jungkook as a servant who has to kiss the ground Jimin walks on, kiss his feet, compliment him, just be whipped for him. They see themselves as Jimin Park's twin flame. I don't even have to say anything more...just go and see what people are saying about Are You Sure , and recently if you're a Twitter person, a Jikookers GC was exposed... Go and see what all they say about JK (and V)💀💀

Anyways anon, I don't know if you'll agree with me, but I just pointed out what I see everyday. Not everyone in these subgroups is like that, but majority here is overshadowing the good ones🤷. And these are the people who degrade the relationship that Jimin and Jungkook have. They cannot deny that they're an energy, a force, and they're tight like this 🤞. So what will they say?? Fan service. They cannot unsee the cuddles in AYS, so they'll say it's scripted. They cannot comprehend that Jungkook and Jimin are men, and they play rough, so they'll call Jungkook abusive for the same thing their fragile Mimi just did to Jungkook a few minutes ago.

I mean you can't say you don't know what happens when two famous people, with an insane chemistry, and a large following are also close, can you? 🤷 And coming to your real ask..( I'm so sorry for straying 😭)... There are people who genuinely believe Jikook are dating other members, and they'll do anything to prove it, even if it means calling jikook a script. And some of these Yoonmin shippers are taekookers who want to keep their accessory Jungkook. Some are PJMs who hate Jungkook coz KTHs hate Jimin.

[joesalw]

Hi l'm a new Joe stan & I'm loving your page!! I have been trying to piece together his amazing acting career and public persona, independent of certain individuals (lol). I gotta say it's nice to see people are finally waking up to Her antics lately, the Grammys and jet backlash has been so satistying. Can't wait to see the truth finally come to light when the album drops, Joe's thriving and it's killing her!!! I was wondering if you have any info on the truth behind things like Joe not being "public enough" going to events and stuff with her. I’ve become more & more of a TS hater as time goes on so I’m trying to see through all the swiftie propaganda 😷

Joe has always attended events when he had upcoming films or nominations for his movies, or even for taylor. This is a lie spreaded by swifties that he never attended award shows or been publicly spotted, when he even attended golden globes and NMES as Taylor's partner. Can we say the same about Travis? No. The video of them running towards the car was taken after he joined Taylor at vmas after party. He showed up for Taylor at the Cat's premiere. When he couldn’t attend himself, he sent his mom/the whole family to support Taylor. So this narrative that Joe was never supportive of Taylor or her career is completely false. It's insane how swifties are trying to rewrite the history to make him look like a bad guy. Joe, in times when needed, has been public. It’s just the relationship that he wanted to protect and keep private instead of making it a media circus like tayvis. However this man has kept his priorities straight and just because taylor couldn’t cope up with it doesn’t mean someone else won't. Swifties can cry about it all they want but deep down taylor herself knows how public joe became for her.

[occulthours]

Can you rate some bonnie ships

Sure! This is just based on my personal preference, combining what we got in canon and the potential Bonnie stans explore in fanon.

This is pretty long so I'll put a text breaker (or whatever that's called) here. If you wanted me to go in-depth for a certain ship, feel free to ask! I apologize in advance for any misspells, grammar mistakes or errors.

1. Stefonnie and Bonkai

I have a few posts dedicated to my love of Stefonnie, but I’ll say it again, out of all of Bonnie’s ships, they had some of the best foundations based on canon alone. Same with Bonkai. There easily could’ve been a smooth transition into a relationship for both ships.

Season 5 was the perfect time to set Stefonnie up instead we got the blandness that is Ste.roline due to how similar their arcs were up to that point and how the main conflict of that season affected them two the most out of the main cast.

Anyone with eyes could see that Bonkai had a similar setup to TVDUS “dark romance” ships like DE and KC. The whole “bad boy x good girl” trope combined with the “evil guy is willing to change to earn the heart of the morally rich girl” trope was very on brand for Julie and Bonkai did it in a way that, again in my opinion, subverted from the norm. Bonnie held Kai accountable in a way that Elena and Caroline simply didn’t when it came to their highly questionable boyfriends. On top of that, I loved how Kai brought out the more vengeful side of Bonnie that had been somewhat watered down in seasons 3-5. Bonkai had one thing that was missing from all of Bonnie’s canon ships; passion. Out of all of Bonnie’s ships, canon or otherwise, Bonkai had the most electric chemistry. You can feel the emotions from Kat and Chris through the screen and they played off each other so well.

2. Klonnie

Bonnies ship with the most wasted potential. Klaus and Bonnie had everything in place to be a well-done ship. Not only did Kat and Joseph have great chemistry, but they were the biggest captains of this ship when Klaus was just getting started in TVD. They individually had the most interesting lore of all the TVDU characters and given how intertwined the Mikaelsons and the Bennetts were, should’ve interacted far more times in canon. Klaus was said to always have a witch by his side but wouldn't want to seduce Bonnie into joining his team after nearly reaching the damn near impossible feat of killing him? As a "novice" witch at that!

Additionally, Bonnie would've THRIVED in The Originals. TO was a very witch-centric show with a lot of characters I would've loved seeing Bonnie interact with. No offense to Hayley, but there's no denying that Bonnie being Hope's mother would have made more sense than what canon gave us.

3. Bonora

If Julie and Co didn’t want Bonnie to date one of their precious fan-favorite white men, fine. Bonora was there and would’ve been such a nice ship for Bonnie. Kat had been advocating for Bonnie to be bisexual for a long time to no avail instead we got Fr.eelin which, no shade, is basically shein Bonora despite Kat having great chemistry with women as well as men. If you had put Nora in Enzo's place in the later 2 seasons of the show very little would’ve changed. In fact, Bonnie’s arc would’ve significantly improved.

4. Kennett

Kennett has somewhat slipped down my ranking due to how disgusting the actor who plays Kol is, but for the ship's sake let’s just imagine Daniel Sherman was the one to start off playing Kol, okay? Okay <3

Kol was said to have a love of witches very early on in the show. The most consistent thing about his character was how he stayed connected to magic despite no longer being able to practice it himself. Bonnie was undisputedly the most powerful witch he had ever come across. Why wasn’t he more interested in her? Bonnie was the one solving everyone’s magical issues as a 17-year-old self-trained witch. Kol would’ve loved to dissect her mind, watch her do spells, and even share his own 1000 years' worth of knowledge about magic with her.

5. Tonnie

I honestly don’t have much to say about Tonnie, but I do think they could’ve been fun in the later seasons. Julie said that her shitty alternative ending for Bonnie was her ending up with Matt and having children with him, which sucks ASS by the way, and while I had the idea of Bonnie getting an even more half-baked romance than she got with Jeremy and Enzo, I would've sucked it up if it were with Tyler. Bonnie and Tyler were childhood friends and should've gotten even closer when Elena and Matt started dating considering they were their best friends. I can definitely imagine Elena trying to force Bonnie on a double date with her, Matt, and Tyler.

While Forwood is one of my favorite canon TVDU ships, Tyler and Bonnie bonding early on over their supernatural heritage would've made a lot more sense given that witches and werewolves traditionally get along significantly better than either species do with vampires.

6. Bamon

If you had asked me this in 2020/21, Bamon would've topped my list. I don't by any means hate them, but I'm admittedly not as fond of them anymore. I feel like Bamon is most serious Bonnie stans first, and/or most beloved ship. And it makes sense! Bonnie and Damon had excellent chemistry, a large amount of focus on their relationship in season 6 and onward, and a lot of romantically coded scenes despite the writers' hopes of dissuading the fans. My biggest gripe with Bamon is that, like most dynamics including Damon, Damon benefits from having Bonnie in his life significantly more than Bonnie benefits from having Damon in her life. Additionally, given how they wrote Steroline in regards to Stelena, how Bamon would play out in canon in regards to Delena sounds like a nightmare to me.

7. Bonenzo

Bonenzo is Bonnie's best canon ship but lord knows that's not saying a lot. The ship felt as if the writers took bits and pieces from Bamon and Kennett/Kolvina and said "Here, damn!" in hopes to shut Bonnie fans up. I honestly wouldn't dislike them nearly as much if they were actually endgame. Enzo's presence was merely to give Bonnie a romance, and he didn't even fulfill the means that justified his existence.

8. Beremy

He cheated on her with a ghost. Enough said.

[abbatoirablaze]

Day Off, Sebastian Stan

Word Count: 790

You yawned, not wanting to open your eyes.  Halloween and Thanksgiving had passed way too fast for your liking and now the end of the year was closing in.  You had been far too busy with work to begin with, but now things were getting even harder to deal with at the management company you worked for, with everyone vying for the last big burst of holiday advertisements and roles. 

You needed to forget the world on your day off and had one idea of how. 

Reaching out, you hoped that your boyfriend was still in bed, but as your hand hit his side of the mattress you frowned, feeling how cool it was.

He must have had the opposite thought of you.

Sebastian was your everything, even if he was the exact opposite of you in every single way. 

He could take work with a laissez-faire demeanor and people loved him, while you busted your ass on and off the clock, with people still managing to be unhappy. 

He was on top of things at home, making sure the apartment was always extremely organized and cleaned, while you thrived in the chaos of your disorganized home office, which he would kindly shut the door to, because he knew that you preferred your mess.   

And he could smile through anything, while you constantly battled your demons. 

But he was your angel. 

Your everything.

Curling up, you sighed contentedly when you felt a familiar pair of lips grazing your temple.  His musky cologne wrapped around you, and you sighed once more, “You’re playing with fire, Mr. Stan.”

“Good,” he teased.  You felt the bed dip, and instinctively you shifted forward, making room for him.  You felt the cool air in the apartment quickly as he shifted beneath the covers to join you, and then the warmth of his body replacing it.  He pressed a series of kisses behind your ear, and started working down the back of your neck, while his hands worked their way under your clothes.  His warm, calloused hands grazed over the expanse of your stomach and you sighed contentedly again.  You felt his lips turning upwards in a smirk, “you know you can’t make those noises around me honey...not unless you want me to react.”

You felt him even before he said those words; his cock half hard and pressing against your rear, “Sebastian...”

“God, I love the way you say my name,” he purred softly against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, “say it again, honey.”

“Sebastian!” you moaned, feeling his hand slipping up to your breast to cup it.  You gasped when his thumb slid over your nipple, the callous on the pad of it creating the slightest friction. 

“I love how easily you react to me!” he smiled, “it always puts me on top of the world.”

“I may put you on top of the world, but you are my world!” you promised, opening your eyes.

Your alarm ruined the moment. 

You felt him smiling against the back of your neck once again, and his hands fell down to your hip, “as much as I would love to continue this...we have to get up.”

“Shit...” you cursed, rolling over and reaching past him to grab your phone.  You turned off the alarm and tossed your phone behind you.  Sebastian was smiling softly at you as he looked into your eyes.  You nearly felt breathless as you admired just how the sun lit up his features.

“How did I ever get so lucky to end up with you?” you asked. 

His smile lit up the room even more, “I ask myself the same about you every morning I get to wake up with you.”

You couldn’t help but to crack a smile as you wrapped your arms around his neck, “so...what is the plans for today?  I know that you’ve probably already got them...”

“I made breakfast,” he admitted softly, leaning forward to press a soft kiss to your lips, “and after that, I figure we get dressed and head out for some shopping.”

“I don’t get paid unti-“

“I’m spoiling you today, honey...this isn’t about Christmas shopping...I just happen to wanna take my girlfriend out...during Christmas time and treat her like the queen that she  is.”

“And what if the only gift that I want is you?”

“You always have me, honey!”

“I love you, Sebastian.”

“I love you too, baby...” he smiled, kissing you yet again, “now....come get your cute butt out to the kitchen and let me show you the breakfast I made you...then we can get ready and go shopping...and after that, we’re meeting my parents for lunch.”

“Okay,” you sighed dreamily, “but it’s only because I love you!”

[ask-serendipity-sky]

Please he's making sure none of his minions will leave him.. and they'll be still up with all their theories and clout when he comes back in 2025 lol. This is not me who said this but his minions themselves.. they said whenever they reconsider about tkk, Tae will appear and leave some crumbs and signs for them to keep believing in tkk. He said he saw army working about the division he joined so he obviously saw cult being sad and mad over jkk's enlistmet too.. so he had to feed his fans. Who cares whether Jimin will be harassed for forcing JK to be in same unit as him? Definitely not Tae.

Jk *may* have given consent to post the ss... but I don't believe tho.. coz he was SO ADAMANT about not showing his head in last 2 lives. It was his place to show not Tae's nor any other member's. It wasn't even a selfie they took with intention of posting but a fucking screenshot of video call he maynot even knew Tae took. But ofcourse some people just lack boundaries or understanding.. they thinks everything is 'joke' and go on and post things without your permission. If feeding cult wasn't his point he would've posted something.. atleast an old selfie with jimin wishing him all the best..but he didn't do that right? Same with Bam too.. he didn't posted with his own dog but bam ? ��🤣 he's laughable atp.

But apparently only Jimin is fanservice king who's mia most of the time, when the real fanservice king is hidden in the plainsight and always defended by major chunk of this Fandom no matter what he does. Btw someone tell him feeding tkkrs wont make his songs chart highly nor make album hit. It will only have China fb mass buying and Thailand streaming farm.. not the real popularity where stans from other kpop fandoms also knows your songs lol.

Hi anon,

True true true...

This is what one of them said after the pic was posted:

Sigh...

Tomorrow his songs will have better streams and tkkrs will be thriving.

It's crazy. Instead of focusing on his last days as a free man and enjoying life, that's what he does. Feed his cult.

Its really weird behavior. He should be ashamed of himself.

I hope he grows up.

Thanks for sharing.

[baekhvuns]

this is late mihane mihane

MISS UNIVERSE OH YES BABY i mean how could she not? How could she not be the miss universe? THOSE PRETTY EYES, THOSE LUSH PLUMP LIPS, HIGH CHEEKBONES she wasn't made...she was ARCHITECTED! (idc if it's not a word-) oh and i realized tht the second actress, who is a marvelous dancer was the mc of hum aple hai koaun HOW COULD I BE SO STEWWPIDD! really a shakespare play?...tht just made it better.

NOOOO *ugly crying* you are right i missed that i thought they were just playing and messing around BRUH THEY PREDICTED THE FUTURE their manifesting game is high in negative things, bring it down a notch.

no no no don't even talk about tht movie. the scene where the main actress says, "Ever since you've joined the army, it's like you're trying to distance yourself from me." ... i can't. i can't even-

....eh? they are. the actress is Deepika right? ofc ik her my cousin has a huge crush on her ever since he saw tht one movie where she stars with vin deisel. but this just makes it even better bcz come on, WE GET THE COUPLES WE'RE THRIVING FOR! INDIAN INDUSTRY BE MAKING OUR DREAMS COME TRUE! ooh same director. you gotta tell me which movie did they first meet at.

dude fr. When i tell you i read the little synopsis of the movie i was ..... perplexed. Because goddamm a sting operation?? just for the sexuality? what is wrong with people?? If i ever went to hell imma tell satan to bring those cruel creatures to where i am and i'll show them what 'hell' truly is.

AHHHH NOOO ATEEZ + BODY RYTHMM I FOUND MY NEXT DREAM 😭😭😭😭nah ur right that rawness of ateez, and just hopes and dream...and a boat, True those were the days man. I mean i started stanning them when i heard illusion (its underrated af idk why people don't like it??) and then i stumbled upon those beautiful masterpieces ughh i would sell my soul just to hear those amazing songs once again for the first time.

aww ill always be here, also ik we're like in the whole Yunho era can i just...

thnk u hv a nice day/night/evening *runs away*

no worries! take your time!

RIGHT THISE PRETTY EYES AND THOSE LIPS SHE IS SO GOD DAMN FINE IM VERY MUCH OBSESSED WITH HER SHE REALLY WAS ARCHITECTEDRHWJ (fun fact! all the movies that director has made even the ones deepika starts in, the directors first choice was always miss world 🤲🏻 BUT SHE NEVER IS AVAILABLE) the second actress is oh omg she is so stunningly talented like miss girl rULED 😭😭😭

NO BC WHEN I SAW THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME LIKE THSE MF MANIFESTED THAT INTO THEIR LIVES???? i wish the second actress got a love interest so bad 😭😭😭 some actual nice guy 😭😭

NO RIGHT AND WHEN HE WAS TALKING TO HIS FRIEND HE SAID “i’ll come back, either wrapped in the flag or with the…” 😭😭😭😭 SCREAM CRIED AT THE LAST SONG SCENE LIKE HOW DO U PUT THIS MUCH PAIN INTO 3 MINUTES OF THE SONG

they are! honestly her in that vin diesel movie, she was so incredibly fine, ahead of her time actually !! THEY REALLY MAKING THEIR DREAMS COME TRUE WITH THE WAY THEY FALL IN LOVE ???? those twts about “i could never be a actor bc id fall in love” and they fall in love on set,, oKAY they first met at the movie ram leela (romeo and juliet with a mafia twist!) he saw her later in 2014 (when that movie was gonna film) at an award show where she won an award and he was the one presenting it to her and he just kind fell on spot <3

AND THE WAY IT WAS FUCKING BASED ON AN IRL STORY??? A STING OPERATION JUST FOR THAT??? vile. no ur so right, when i die one day will come back to haunt ppl like this on purpose,,, im sorry but like this is beyond me,, A STING OPERATION OVER SOMEONES SEXUALITY??

right??? treasure had such rawness, like one mic, 8 dreams and a song,,, to be in those simpler times and to ACTUALLY hear their voices blend in w songs like i be missing that so terribly, illusion is so underrated!!!! honestly wave’s entire album is ngl fbwnfh BRING BACK WAVE !!!! right?? ateez’s song choices at that era were so spectacular i just wish they also go into different genres, like a versatile discography— bring back the classics 😭😭

DO NOT PLEASE. DO NOT I JUST FINISHED EDITING YUNHOS TEASER AND UR HERE DROPPING THIS MAN LIKE HE ISNT CALLING MY NAME FROM THE DRAFTS ALREADY

[mtntownlesbian]

DISABILITY IN SOUTH PARK

FROM A DISABLED PERSON'S POINT OF VIEW. 

A lot of people shit on South Park’s portrayal of well, everything, but as a disabled person myself, I would like to praise the show for its disabled characters. 

In this post, I’ll be focusing on: Timmy, Ned, Jimmy, Mimsy, Nathan, and all of the other disabled characters shown in the series.

Firstly, we have the earliest episode featuring a disabled person, Nurse Gollum. She appears in the episode ‘Conjoined Foetus Lady’, and I have a lot of praise for this episode. This episode accurately portrays the abled bodied saviour complex and how abled bodied people will refuse to acknowledge that aspect of their identity because of the aforementioned abled bodied saviour complex. Sheila in this episode represents the able bodied savour, always trying to police the others on what to say and not to, even though she is not Nurse Gollum. Sheila also hosts the festivals for Nurse Gollum, celebrating her disability as something inspirational and beautiful, but as a disabled person, that shit is not true. It’s neither great nor horrible, it’s just a normal part of our life that exists. This is what she herself states in the episode, saying that this kind of celebration is aggravating and counter productive, saying that she only wants to live a normal life, instead of being celebrated for every little thing she does because of her disability.

This episode is one of my favourites featuring the disabled characters of South Park, because it feels very accurate (although exaggerated for comedic effect) to what me and many other disabled people go through on an everyday basis.

Another example of displaying abled bodied savourism is in the season 4 episode, ‘Timmy 2000’, in the subplot of the episode, Timmy joins a band called ‘The Lords of The Underworld’ and competes with Phil Collins, who presents concern for Timmy as he thinks that people are laughing at Timmy, which is an unfair assumption for an abled bodied person to make. This kind of assumption that whenever a disabled person does something and is given praise, it's because it's out of pity or amusement (at their disability - not what they are doing), which I personally believe says more about the person saying that rather than the consumers of the media. Matt and Trey seem to agree with me on that sentiment in the episode, when Stan says: ‘The people that are wrong are the ones that think people like Timmy should be "protected" and kept out of the public's eye. The cool thing about Timmy being in a band was that he was in your face, and you had to deal with him’. This quote additionally makes a very important comment about disabled visibility and how it is needed for people like me to be seen thriving, living everyday lives and not sharing our sob stories constantly to make our society unhook the chains of ableism within the world, and this message has been shown all throughout the series.

The show across all seasons, we consistently see characters like Ned, Jimmy, Timmy, etc, living everyday lives, having a job or going to school, being treated the same for simply being a person, they are never denied of their disabilities or praised for them, but instead it is acknowledged and made into nothing sort of a big deal. Matt and Trey have never infantilized them, making them just as vulgar and inappropriate as the rest of the able bodied cast, and I love that, so so much. 

Matt and Trey show that its possible to add disabled characters in a comedy without making fun of them (I mean, they certainly have made fun of them, but I think the way they go about it is forgivable when the entire cast is made fun of for whatever).

Anyways, sorry for the long walls of text and all, I just wanted to say thank you to Matt + Trey, the rest of the South Park team for calling out this ableism and following through the sentiment with actions. This has been my take on the disabled characters from South Park as a disabled person, thank you for your time. :D

[adrena-dine]

Belgian GP : a summary

Charity match with Sebastian and Mick. Seb did terribly but we forgive him 🫶🏼

Daniel leaves McLaren, sad but expected

Charles grid penalty. Max grid penalty. Valtteri grid penalty. Esteban grid penalty. Norris grid penalty. Mick grid penalty. Guanyu grid penalty. Everybody GRID PENALTY

Lewis mysterious new account 😳 (it was a clothing and it’s already ✨ out of stock ✨)

Yuki said that he regrets not having spent his holidays with Pierre. Yukierre is thriving as always.

Guanyu fashion icon always

Valtteri too (I love the camping fit like go off king!!!)

Daniel hasn’t got a seat, but Guenther called him and Omar is drinking coffee at McLaren, things were getting spicy hihi

Pierre 100tb GP 🥰

Magnussen engine YEET

Charles’ car in FP3 YEET

Charles made checo ate dust, yummy

Alonso saying that alpine didn’t want anymore bc he’s old. It’s the drama for me.

Omar saying that Fernando blatantly lied to them sksksksksk

Alpine vs Oscar whose gonna win ?

Alex contract extension for SEVERAL years with Williams 🥰🥰🥰

Lewis said no to the medic and got ✨scolded✨

Someone proposed in front of Esteban ??? Goals

After a lot of complains, Spa is going to be on calendar next year 🥳🥳🥳

Carlos pole !!! VAMOS CARLOS !!!

Charles got told everything by journalists this weekend from his place on the grid to his penalty 💀

Daniel sat alone before the drivers parade just broke my heart

And then he did the same before the race and George, Mick and Alex joined him, what a bunch of sweethearts 🥹

Oh and Alex and George took this opportunity tu blatantly FLIRTED in front of the entire world, bc you know there’s no better place to be who they are (I loved it)

Lando watching TV while he’s driving ? Man I can’t even check my blind spots and turn at the same time 💀

Ferrari messing up one more time, but who’s surprised now ?

No rain for once 🤧

Lewis out at the first lap, my man flew out

Alonso clashing Lewis. Are we in 2007 ?

Charles having someone’s tear off in his brakes and forcing him to pit (it was Max’s)

Mick going 🙄🙄🙄 when told about his car’s performance. We stan a sassy king

QUESTION

George amazing race 👏🏼

Pierre amazing recovery since his car said « no ❤️🥰 » when they tried to start it ON THE GRID

Valterri and Nicholas just colliding with each other. Just like that 🤷🏻‍♀️

Charles be like « look at me, I’m the strategist now »

A battle of three between Ocon, Vettel and Gasly 🤩

Max amazing comeback 😳 and won. Another time hihi

Ferrari had (1) right call to make and they ✨didn’t✨

Charles being told on live TV he has a penalty and drop out one more place

Oh and the team didn’t came to celebrate with Carlos for his podium. Nice.

Mick’s ass was on fire apparently 🥴🥴

I’d like to thank this entire GP for the GIGA number of memes it provided

[oriigirii]

Streamer MC headcannons with the brothers 💞

"You were quite a known face on social media back in the human realm, playing games, doing unboxings, just vibin in general, fans around the globe looked forward to your streams a lot! However, considering the sudden (unannounced) invitation to the exchange program, you had to leave all of that behind out of the blue. It wasn't as bad at first, but you have to admit you do miss the feeling of being able to do goofy shit online. Luckily for you, with the advance technology of Devildom and some spicy magic, the internet had synced with the human realm, and thats when you decided to finally re-enter the streaming scene. How will the brothers react upon seeing your peculiar past time?"

Head empty, No thoughts aside from the brothers just bothering the MC while they stream so here you go haha

Warnings: None, just crackhead energy and a lotta mispellings

Gender: Neutral!

Hotel: Trivago

* [ ಠ╭╮ಠ ] Lucifer *

{How did he know about your career?}

I honestly don't see him as someone who goes on the internet a lot

(He screams boomer to me, change my mind)

He doesn't have the time either, he's too focused on work!

So him finding out is gonna take a while

But! He did find out the hard way when shrilled screaming was heard from your room when he was passing by with some paper stacks in his arms (courtesy of Diavolo)

This man felt his instincts kick in, he ran as fast as he could, papers forgotten, and he immediately slammed your door open. Splinters scattering around, your door definitely damaged, as his eyes held a glare and his demon form was out, wings spread in a threatening display.

He was ready to beat someone's ass as he had thought someone had hurt you in here.

But all hes met with is you, infront of your chair and PC, and a game over on the screen...

To say he was unamused was an understatement cause you just lost your internet priviliges for giving him a heart attack (He said it was because you were being rowdy and noisy but with what you saw you knew that wasn't the case)

Good luck tryna puppy-eye your way to his heart to let you continue streaming lol.

If by some miracle you managed to wriggle your rights back from his hands, he'd warn you not to be so loud next time.

You already learnt your lesson though~ (Hopefully)

{How does he feel about your streams?}

Not everyone's the same, so if you were the shy soft streamer who does more art streams or something akin to a podcast, you can bet that Lucifer will be putting you on while he works, he kinda knows your streaming schedule at this point and if you were running late, he'd force one of his brothers to take over your dish washing duties or any chores you were stuck with

If you were the loud obnoxious meme type, hed still try to watch out of curiosity, and as much as he appreciates that you were getting comfortable here in Devildom with how you laugh and joke around, he still can't approve of it. Its too loud, its much like his brothers energy and he has enough of that already, so he probably doesn't watch as much.

He has countlessly came to your room to shush you and at this point your fans had made a compilation of each time Lucifer had barged in to tell you off

Look he likes it when you scream, but not when hes in the middle of work okay--

At this point, chat has deemed Lucifer as dad and you as their mom/dad.

If he ever catches wind of this he'd definitely be teasing you in private for centuries to come.

Overall fine with it, as long as don't do something stupid on stream.

* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ Mammon*

{How did he know about your career?}

I would say he found out by him crashing into your streams midway but that's too predictable, hence why you've Mammon-proofed your bedroom during streaming hours!

Thanks to our wizard daddy, you have managed to cast a simple lock spell on your door and as well as a sound proofing

You love your broke idiot, but you did wanna keep the tone of your stream today a bit more chill, you wanted to have a proper Q&A with your fans to hopefully clear any bad vibes around your 3 month disappearance.

When Mammon has learnt your door was locked he definitely was a bit pissy, he knocked on your door loudly even and was calling out for you to let him in, but to no avail.

Bro he's scared.

He usually was allowed to enter, and you usually answered if you did need to be left alone for a bit, so just leaving him hanging got his mind racing and he had to press up his ear on the wooden door to try and hear if you were okay

When this continues on he finally resorts to getting help, but the only one in the house ws Levi, so he kicks down HIS door.

Levi boutta summon Lotan for interrupting him honestly

But as Mammon exclaim you weren't answering and he worried for your wellbeing, Levi rolls his eyes and scoffs,

"Idiot Mammon, they're streaming don't bother them…"

Streaming? why didn't you tell him???

Rude much.

He did huff and now was forcing his way to use Levi's PC for a moment

Can Levi stop him?

Nah.

He was busy on his console, and if he stood up now hed be breaking his world record so he was at a terrible state so he just resorts to threats of him drowning the Avatar of Greed if he does anything stupid on his PC.

He immediately logs in to your streaming platform and he watches for a bit,

You were more dolled up now just to look decent on stream, and he felt this jealousy rise as you interact with your chat, especially to those saying I love you's and stuff, and you even said it back? the audacity! You were his werent you? Were you replacing him with these nobodies?

He huffs as he realized that those who paid got their message highlighted, and thus, he starts donating. (Mind you this was Levi's account...)

"Mcccccc Open the dooorrr"

"Ill behave i promiseeeee"

"Cmon pleaseeee?"

Chat is c o n f u s i o n

NGL, they thought Mammon was a creepy stalker and red flags were being waved everywhere

but as chat was pondering who the hell he was, you can only sigh and look at the camera with that unamused expression, but ugh! you just KNOW hes doing that kicked puppy expression of his, and maybe it really wont be so bad

So you snap your fingers and say, "Okay MonMon, its open, Im giving you 3 seconds"

Mammon wasnt deemed to be the fastest out of his brothers for nothing

As soon as you got to '2', you were already tackled by the white haired male and chat went wild.

Now that you've shown your life in Devildom, maybe its time to introduce chat to your boyfriend no?

{How does he feel about your streams?}

You get paid to sit infront of a camera, do I have to say anything else?

But really though, as much as he enjoys the thought of getting so much cash from something so simple, he prefers the joy of being able to proudly exclaim that he was your first man!

ohhhh he thrives on the salt of your overly attached stans

but for those who fully support you, he always feels so mushy and shy when they say the ship you guys so hard

The fanarts has him WEAK (he may or may not have saved a few)

You usually do streams alone, but now you've allowed the door to be left open to let Mammon join whenever

Chat pogs when he enters with so much confidence, only for it to crumble when you kiss his cheek on stream.

Overall finds it fun to spend time with you, but just dont play scary games cause Lucifer might hang him upside down on stream.

* ▘▂▝ Leviathan*

{How did he know about your career?}

He is honestly the most attached to his D.D.D and he catches wind of almost anything going down in the internet, so your 'revival' being hyped up was something he definitely saw and he was just s wo o o ned

His Henry 2.0? a famous streamer?

Were you truly a blessing gifted upon him or was he dreaming?

He definitely didn't bring it up at first as he didn't wanna make it a big deal, but you notice hes been more in his head lately, and you have tried asking him what it was but to no avail.

You have to corner this little snake if you want answers and he eventually admits that he knew of your persona online and was incredibly shy to ask you to stream with him

He's a streamer himself afterall but maybe he doesnt stream as much as you do nor does he have as large of a following, so his intrusive thoughts attacked him and made him think that maybe since he wasnt as famous he didnt deserve to be in the same stream as you

Please tell him to join you and gib him kiss U3U

He'll absolutely m e l t

But now, as you make the announcement to your viewers and Levi to his, the internet explodes as a special collab stream was hapening between the expert gamer and avatar of envy of Devildom along with the beloved exchange student and streamer of the human realm

Your usual viewers reach between 10-15k, but as you start stream, that number boosts higher and beyond

Before streaming though, Levi was incredibly nervous, he'd picked the games for you to play that he knew you would enjoy with him, but his mind kept racing about whatthe fans thought, he didnt wanna disappoint them

But you had to remind him that whatever they say will not matter in the end as this was merely for fun, this was YOUR stream and you guys were gonna do what you want and nobody can have a say on it. (Maybe except Lucifer)

You usually talk for him with your bubbly personality, and to calm his nerves, he hs your pinky wraped around his where the camera can't see it.

Regardless, his thoughts subsided as you two delve into your stream that lasted a solid 7 hours, you definitely promised your chat that you and Levi will be doing more streams together from now on.

Once the cameras cut and yall are left alone, Both of you collapse on bed, and despite you being asleep already, Levi was just far too giddy as everything dwells on him.

Having a player 2 by his side now had never felt so intoxicating and he as just so lucky to have you.

{How does he feel about your streams?}

He obviously adores it, although some streams he wouldnt join just so he can play games on his own

He's still an introvert afterall, he needs his alone time

But he prefers that alone time with you, his Henry.

So when youre about to go stream, he kinda becomes a bit pouty, but with a simple promise of kisses (and maybe even more if youd like) he would let you go, but his attention would disappear from his game altogether.

He might just end up watching you instead

May or may not, at some point, just chat you and ask if its too late to join you

You do allow him to join you and play from the comforts of his room as both of you can simply play via internet, you give him the comfort to not turn on his mic or webcam either and you have no idea how he appreciates that.

Will definitely fight someone online when they start claiming you as theirs (-cough- stans) Please make sure it doesnt escalate to him summoning Lotan

Although the comments would often get to him, and as much as he can fight them online, he still does find himself pondering if they were true, so you need to give him a lotta lovin and reminder that he is your player 1 and no one else can ever fill that place.

------

Wow 3 brothers this time, what an improvement, anyways hope yall enjoy! I think its pretty clear who I simp for depending o nthe length of each lol, but do let me know if you guys want a part 2 for the rest of the brothers, or even the undateables!

[fallen-gravity]

Intellectual Adequacy

Stan hates to start any unnecessary conflict, especially when there’s a very real chance that Ford will be moving to California next year, but he knows deep down that if they don’t talk about this now then he’ll never have the courage to bring it up again.

“Wait,” Stan shouts to Ford, and he stops dead in his tracks.

~~

Notes: In which one little plot bunny that was preventing me from getting any work done becomes its own rabbit hole.

I genuinely cannot believe that in the six-seven years I've been in this fandom, I've never tried my hand at the fix-it-fic where Stan and Ford just talk it out as teenagers, just like they should've in canon. I've seen a lot of different approaches, but I feel like I've yet to see one that tackles it from the perspective of Stan's own battle with his self-worth, rather than the actions he or Ford have already taken.

AO3

Stan hates the principal’s office more than anywhere else in the world.

He swears, he’s called down every other week for something that’s not even his fault. He punched Crampelter in the nose for harassing some poor freshman? Principal’s office. He talks back to a teacher calling his classmate stupid for forgetting an “obvious” geometry equation? Principal’s office. He accidentally drops his pencil during an exam and bends over to pick it up? He must be cheating. Principal’s office.

If you asked him, the whole idea of sending kids to the principal’s office is pointless to begin with. Oh, you did something bad, and now we’re gonna make the big man in charge tell your mommy and daddy? How old do these people think they are?

Stan wishes he could say that this time is okay because they’re not even talking to him. They’re talking up a storm to Ford in there about another college scholarship and all the reasons why he and he alone would be the perfect candidate for some random school all the way out in California

But it’s not okay, because the longer Stan sits in the dumb waiting room the more he’s starting to feel like chopped liver. They’ve been in there for at least five minutes with no sign of stopping anytime soon, but every time Stan asks the secretary if he can just go back to class already she dismisses him with a wave of her hand and it’ll be your turn soon, sit back down.

He’s thinking of just sneaking out the next time the secretary buries her nose back into her magazine. It’s simple: just wait for her to pull it out from her desk, sneak by as quick as he can, and slip out the door and back to class before she can even notice he’s gone.

He stands from his chair, pretending to stretch and preparing to execute, but freezes solid when he hears his name being spoken from within the principal’s office.

“��What about our little free spirit Stanley?”

It’s Ma, and whatever it is they’re talking about in there, she isn’t happy about it. Frowning, Stan glances over at the secretary to make sure that she isn’t staring at him, and presses his ear to the office door to listen to their conversation more carefully.

The principal laughs in response. “That clown? At this rate he’ll be lucky if he graduates high school”

Stan’s taken aback by the harsh choice of words, but if he knows Ford, then he won’t just sit there and let the principal talk about him like that. He presses his ear further into the door, waiting for Ford to interrupt the principal’s rambling about how he’s never going to amount to anything with you just don’t know him like I do, or something along those lines, but it never comes.

Not a single interjection that…anything he’s saying is wrong. Not from Pa, not from Ford….and not even from Ma.

They don’t…all really believe that, right?

There has to be something else he’s missing. He bets they’re defending his honor right now, and the reason they’re not making a big scene about it is because they’re in public.

Yeah.

He’s got nothing to worry about.

He peeks into the window, expecting to see Ma glaring daggers into the principal, or Ford silently cursing him out behind his back, but what he’s met with is so much worse. Ma and Pa are exchanging warm smiles, and Ford is frantically shaking hands with the principal, beaming brighter than Stan’s ever seen in his entire life.

Matter of fact, Stan’s not sure he’s ever seen any of them look so happy in his entire life.

He’s worthless, he’ll never go anywhere, and they’re all smiling about it.

Stan’s heart drops to his stomach, and he slides to the floor to join it.

Is this some kind of cruel joke? Were they expecting him to listen in on their conversation? Is this their cruel workaround of telling him he’ll never amount to shit?

He sighs.

He stays there on the cold tiled floor for what feels like hours, contemplating all the times he’s been called dumb, or stupid, or a terrible influence on his brother. All of those times when he could brush it off just because it was coming from someone he didn’t care about.

But worthless?

Behind his back, spoken directly to people he loves, and they won’t even bother to defend him?

That one’s new, and if Stan is going to be completely honest with himself, it’s much harder to brush off his shoulders than all those other times.

Stan doesn’t even notice the office door opening until it nearly smacks him in the back of his head. He quickly jumps to his feet and brushes himself off, pretending the best that he can that he wasn’t just eavesdropping on them for the past ten minutes.

“Stanley!” Ford comes bursting out of the room, his grin threatening to split his face in two. “I just received the most incredible news! The admissions team at West Coast Tech heard about my science fair project, and-”

The beam suddenly slips from his face, replaced with some sort of mix of confusion and concern. “Is...Something wrong?”

Stan rubs at his eyes to make sure he hadn’t started tearing up without realizing it, but no, his eyes are bone dry.

Curse Ford’s stupid ability to read his mind.

Stan covers up the gesture of rubbing at his eyes with a yawn, and stretches his arms in the air. “Nothing except you taking forever in there” he flashes a fake smile easily. “Talk about a blabbermouth, am I right?” Stan gestures towards the principal with his thumb.

Ford laughs, and returns his gaze to the pamphlet in his hands. “I don’t know,” he says. “I don’t think he’s so bad”

Stan opens his mouth to quip back, but Ford doesn’t seem to be paying much attention anymore. He’s just staring at that dumb pamphlet, his grin slowly but surely returning to his face again.

Instead, Stan shoves his hands in his pockets and shrugs, turning his gaze to the floor. “Yeah, I guess you’re right”

~~~

Stan feels like he’s in a haze for the rest of the day. Even when he tries to focus on class to take his mind off of things and redirect it on anything else, he can’t get his mind to stick.  Not even final period gym class can save him, which is really saying something, because the gymnasium is usually the one place where he thrives.

Worthless.

The word won’t stop bouncing around in his skull, hitting him where he’s most sensitive.

It doesn’t help a thing that Ford is dead silent on their walk home from school. He’s usually chatting up a storm to Stan about stuff he doesn’t really understand, and under normal circumstances Stan can’t wait to get home so he can bury his head in his pillow and drown out the sound of Ford’s babbling.

But today he’s not even looking in Stan’s direction, just burying his nose in the West Coast Tech brochure with stars in his eyes, and now Stan wants nothing more than to hear Ford babbling on about his advanced physics classes.

It’s almost insulting.

Stan sighs, and lightly taps on Ford’s shoulder to catch his attention. “Can we talk?”

“Hmm?” Ford blinks, like he needs a few moments to readjust to reality. “Oh! Of course. I was actually planning on asking you the same thing” he places the brochure in his pocket. “Same place as always?”

Stan nods. “Same place as always”.

It’s a quick change of direction and a shortcut to the beach before they find themselves on their old swing set. By now they’re both too heavy to use it properly without a risk of snapping it, but they still find it’s a good place to go when they just need to get away and talk.

“You’re not really thinking of going to that stuffy old school, are you?” Stan asks as soon as Ford sits on the swing beside him. “They’ve gotta be crazy if they think four more years of essays and exams are better lookin’ than tanned babes and gold chains. We’re so close to finishing up the Stan-O-War. Soon as graduation rolls around we’re outta here, just like we always promised”.

Ford chuckles. “That is a nice thought, but…” he pulls the brochure out of his pocket again, and unfolds it for Stan to see. “You have to understand that I can’t just pass up an opportunity like this. Maybe I don’t need a degree from any old state school, but this is West Coast Tech we’re talking about!” he beams, the stars returning to his eyes. “They’ve got cutting edge technology and multidimensional paradigm theory”

Stan rolls his eyes, but he can’t help but admit to himself it’s nice to have his brother back again after an entire day of radio silence.

“Beep boop, giant nerd robot oncoming” Stan punches Ford in the arm.

Ford’s grin only widens. “I figured you’d say that, but it’s too late to change my mind. The head of admissions already flew in this morning, and with my go-ahead they’re going to check out my science fair project later tonight and let me know then and there if they want me at their school”

“Well that seems kind of harsh” Stan quips. “What if they say no?”

Ford shrugs. “Well, then it’s like you said. If they don’t want me, you and I sail off on the Stan-O War and never look back”.

Stan frowns at the strong emphasis on if. He really thinks he’s going to get this, doesn’t he? Stan can’t exactly blame him when he’s been the reigning valedictorian of their class every year since they were kids.

“And if they say yes?”

Ford grins. “Well, then you better visit me on the other side of the country” he punches Stan in the shoulder, and stands to his feet without saying another word.

Stan can’t bring himself to join him. He knows that Ford didn’t mean anything by it, but he can’t help feel wounded by his brother’s implication that while he’s off in California having the time of his life, Stan’s still gonna be stuck living with their parents in New Jersey.

It’s just like their principal said. He’ll never amount to anything anyway, so why wouldn’t he stay in New Jersey? Where else would a worthless piece of shit like him end up?

Stan shifts on his swing and watches as Ford walks away, and he can’t help but wonder just how much of the principal’s tangent that Ford believed.

All of it?

Some of it?

Had Ford even been listening to what he said at all?

As he continues to watch his brother walk away, he can’t help the feeling in his gut that he has to know. He hates to start any unnecessary conflict, especially when there’s a very real chance that Ford will be moving to California next year, but Stan knows deep down that if they don’t talk about this now then he’ll never have the courage to bring it up again.

“Wait,” Stan shouts to Ford, and he stops dead in his tracks.

“Yeah?” Ford says, turning around to face him. Stan suddenly finds himself very aware of his heart loudly pounding against his chest, but he forces himself to squash that down. He’s never felt shy or anxious about asking his brother anything, and he sure as hell isn’t letting that start now.

“You don’t…uh,” he swallows. “You don’t think I’m…worthless, do you?”

Ford looks appalled. He neatly folds the brochure back into his pocket and starts walking- no, jogging, almost sprinting back to the swing set. He pauses in front of the empty swing beside Stan for a moment, like he’s debating whether he should sit down or not, but eventually he shakes his head and sits down anyway.

“What on earth makes you say that?” ��There’s a hint of anger to his tone, but Stan’s not entirely convinced it’s directed at him. “Why would I think you’re worthless? You’re my twin brother! What could’ve possibly put the idea in your head that I thought that?”

There’s a tiny voice in the back of his head screaming at him to back out, brush it off with a joke and have this conversation later, but there’s an even louder voice shouting at him that it needs to be had now.

Stan sighs. “I…overheard everything in the principal’s office today”

Ford blinks, like he doesn’t understand a word that Stan just said. “About…West Coast Tech? Is this because you’re afraid that I’ll get in, but you know you won’t because you’re not even interested in applying anyway, but you know you’re going to miss me, and you’re not sure if you can handle-”

“About me, Sixer!” Stan shouts, and tries his damn hardest to ignore the waver in his voice. “He practically called me a useless piece of shit directly to Ma and Pa and neither of them said a word about it!” He scrubs his hands down his face because he’s not choking up, not over something so pointless and stupid. “You’re going to travel the world and become the smartest person the scientific community has ever seen, or whatever, but me? Apparently I’ll always be stuck here in New Jersey to pick up after everyone else’s messes, because that’s all I’m ever good for”

Stan buries his face in his hands. He hadn’t meant to blow up, and he certainly hadn’t meant to direct his anger at Ford, but he just feels so hopeless, and he’s the only one around who’s willing to listen. He wouldn’t be surprised if Ford returned with anger of his own, or told him off for being selfish, or even if he just decided to stand up and walk away from him for being such an embarrassment.

The silence that follows is thick and heavy. Stan is so convinced that he must’ve driven Ford away that when he feels a hand on his shoulder he nearly jumps a mile out of his skin. When he finally pulls his hands out of his face to meet Ford’s eyes, his face is flushed pink and he looks…embarrassed.

“Stan, I had no idea, I…” he awkwardly pulls his hand away and grips tightly to the chain of his swing. Stan can see Ford’s face shifting through about a dozen different emotions at once. “I…must’ve been too focused on everything else to realize he was saying those things about you.” He shakes his head. “I know it’s not an excuse, but…” he sighs. “I’m sorry”

There’s another bout of silence between them. Stan’s half-expecting that to be the end of it, and for Ford to walk away without another word.  

But Ford breaks the silence with a sigh, and when Stan glances over at him he’s staring down at the ground.

“If it’s any consolation...you’re much smarter than me in a lot more places than you realize”

Okay, now Stan has to laugh. “Okay, now you’re being too nice to me. You don’t need to lie to make me feel better”

“I’m serious!” Ford’s cheeks flush pink again, and he adjusts his glasses before returning his gaze towards Stan. “There’s actually been a fascinating number of studies about intelligence lately, and, well…” Ford’s face is turning redder by the minute, Stan swears. “It turns out that…there’s more than one type”

Stan raises an eyebrow. “You’re losing me here, Sixer”

“Well, you see, I thrive in academic intelligence. Math, science, history, you know, school stuff. That’s the most commonly known type of intelligence because a lot of our formative years are based on it”

Stan doesn’t say anything, just raises his eyebrow even further.

“But,” Ford continues quickly, “They’ve also made discoveries about the existence of social intelligence”

“Social?” Stan blinks, suddenly finding himself significantly more interested. “You mean like talking to people and stuff?”

Ford nods. “Precisely. They say people with high social intelligence are much better at picking up on social cues, and can make friends with others much easier than those with lower social intelligence.” Ford kicks at the sand. “The reason social intelligence hasn’t been recognized is because it’s often mistaken for having a friendly personality”.  His face flushes pink again, like he’s afraid he said the wrong thing. “Not that a person can’t have both, but…”

Stan smirks, nudging at Ford with his elbow. “Stanford Pines, are you calling your good-for-nothing brother intelligent?” He teases, but can’t help the genuine smile creeping to his face.

“Think about it!” Ford throws an arm into the air, the other one tightly gripped on the swing to prevent himself from falling off. “Every time Ma and Pa leave us in charge of the shop so they can go to Atlantic City for the weekend, who’s the one bringing in all the customers? Who’s the one selling out our daily stock less than two hours after we’re open? You are, Stan, just by being yourself. You know how to persuade people into buying our stock at ten times the listed price.”

“You can’t learn that from twelve years of public school. They can try to teach you, but at the end of the day it’s all about your ability to connect with people” Ford rubs at his arm. “I’ve tried teaching myself those kinds of tricks for years, but at the end of the day…” he shakes his head. “I’ve never been able to catch up.” He smiles. “I raise my white flag to you, Stan. You’ve outsmarted the smartest brother in the world”

Stan chuckles. “Try telling that to Principal Comb-over. He hears you saying the so-called dumbest clown in the entire school system is smarter than you and he’s going to cart you away to the loony bin”

Ford laughs. “You know, now that I think about it, there may actually be a way to tell him off for what he said about you and get away with it scott-free”

Stan raises an eyebrow. “Yeah? How so?”

Ford smirks. “I think you should try to graduate out of spite”

Stan’s not sure he follows. “Whaddya mean?”

“I mean, think about it” Ford stands from his swing and begins to pace back and forth. “The principal called both of us down even though he only wanted to speak to me, and then he talked shit about you even though he knew you were sitting right outside his door?” he pauses in his pacing. “Stan, he knew that you could hear him. Maybe he didn’t intend for you to listen in when he was talking to Ma and Pa about my scholarship opportunity, but he knew you’d be listening the moment you were brought up in the conversation”

That’s…true. Stan was just about to sneak out before he heard them say his name.

“He’s expecting you to fail, and he wants to put it in everyone else’s head too. He thinks it’s the easy way out, because if you choose to fail out on your own than he doesn’t have to take responsibility for being such a shitty educator. It gives him the chance to say look how he didn’t even try instead of look at how we failed him.”

“But if you proved him wrong? Imagine the look on his face when he has to be the one to place that diploma in your hand. Imagine him having to look you dead in the eyes and tell you he’s proud of you. You’ll know he’s speaking bullshit, but he knows he can’t talk shit about you anymore without making himself look bad.” Ford smirks. “Matter of fact, imagine the looks on the faces of everyone who’s ever doubted you walking across that stage. Pa alone is gonna have a heart attack”

Ford’s smile softens. “I already know that you’re much smarter than you’re given credit for, and I think it’s about time that everyone else recognizes that too”.

Stan’s cheeks burn red, and he shyly kicks at the sand. “Heh, thanks. I appreciate it.” He says. “But even if I did manage to graduate, what am I supposed to do with a high school diploma? Every job application I’ve been skinning through recently says college, college, college”

“Well…” Ford taps at his chin. “Then why not go out for college?”

Okay, now he’s taking things too far.

“Pardon?” Stan mocks, because if Ford thinks that Stan’s going to willingly take four more years of classes than maybe he should be carted away to a loony bin.

“I’m serious!” Ford blushes. “Maybe not a high intensity school like West Coast Tech, but college is so much more freeing than high school, Stanley. It’s not class after class on subjects that other people tell you to take. It’s personalized. If you hate science class so much, you never have to take another science class again”

Ford’s blush darkens. “I know that school is a big drag and all, but if you asked me?” he averts his gaze. “I think you’d really benefit from business school. Charisma and social intelligence is the number one thing that big name businesses are looking for, and I know you’re filled to the brim with both. Ultimately it is your decision, but…” Ford fiddles with his thumbs. “Just…just consider it, okay?”

For a brief moment, Stan just wants to burst out into hysterical laughter. Ford’s been offered the opportunity of a lifetime at one of the best schools in the country, and he’s still taking the time to help out his good-for-nothing brother who’s been cheating off of his exams for the past ten years.

Instead he settles for a roll of his eyes. “Alright, Professor Poindexter, I’ll consider it”

Ford giggles at that, and for a few moments neither of them says anything, watching the waves gently lapping on the beach in the short distance. It’s a comfortable silence, a reassuring sort of feeling that Stan hasn’t felt in a long time.

The frantic beeping of Pa’s wristwatch interrupts them, and both boys flinch at the sound in unison. For a moment Stan is worried that Pa’s standing behind them having heard every word, but when he glances over at Ford, he sees him rolling up his shirt sleeve to reveal that he’s the one wearing the watch, and clicks the alarm off.

“Pa made me borrow it so I wouldn’t be late for the presentation with the school board” he rubs awkwardly at the back of his head. “I’ll probably give it back as soon as I get home tonight”

Stan smirks. “You still hate the sound of that thing too, huh?”

“I can still hear it in my nightmares,” Ford exaggerates, his eyes going wide, and the twins burst into laughter as they both stand from the swings and stretch their arms and legs to wake them up from sitting for so long.

Ford wipes at his eye as he fidgets with the wristwatch. “So…do you think you’re going to be okay?”

That in itself is a pretty loaded question that could take him all night to answer, but all things considering…

“Yeah,” Stan smiles. “I think I’ll be okay”

Ford smiles back, and gestures with his thumb towards the direction of the pawn shop. “Then I’m going to head home and get ready for my presentation. You coming?”

Stan shakes his head. “I think I’ll stay out here and just…watch the ocean for a little while longer”

Ford’s smile softens, but he doesn’t say anything else. He turns heel and walks back towards the house, and it feels as though a giant weight has just been lifted off of Stan’s chest. He glances back to watch Ford go, but finds comfort in the feeling that he feels nothing at all.

~~~

Nearly five hours later, Stan sits at home, watching television on the couch to pass the time. Just out of the corner of his eye he sees Ford slip into the kitchen and gently click the door closed. Stan shuts the TV off, and spins around on the couch to face his brother.

“Well?” Stan asks, though he knows he doesn’t even need to bother asking, given that Ford looks like he’s about to burst. With a shaking hand, Ford reaches into his pocket and pulls out a glinting white envelope.

If he’s trying to keep an air of mystery about it, he’s doing a really bad job, because all at once his composure breaks and the smile that spreads across his face looks as though it could burn out the sun.

“They loved me!” He shouts, excitedly pacing the floor. “They told me they’ve never seen anyone else like me!”

His smile is so contagious that it hurts.

Perhaps another day, in another timeline, Stan would take offense to Ford’s excitement to bounce off to the other end of the country without him. Perhaps he’d even lash out, or do something he would’ve immediately regretted.

But here and now, Stan couldn’t be happier for his brother if he tried.

[karasunology]

⸙ ˚₊ ➷ SUNA RINTAROU & KITA SHINSUKE AS YOUR OLDER BROTHER HEADCANONS ! ❞

╰─ ─ ﾟheadcanons of suna & kita of how it would be like if they were your older brothers.

✐ . . . BIG BROTHER HEADCANONS.

[ OIKAWA TOORU & KAGEYAMA TOBIO VERSION. ] [ MIYA TWINS & BOKUTO KOUTARO VERSION. ]

-ˏˋ ➶ character(s) ━ suna rintarou & kita shinsuke <3

[ trigger warnings ━ slight manga spoilers !! ]

-ˏˋ ✉️ REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN.

⇣ please read the RULES before requesting.

SUNA RINTAROU.

➜ suna would your quiet older brother that's very caring for you

➜ nAH I'M KIDDING SHSJZ LMAOOO

➜ THIS BOY MAY SEEM QUIET BUT PHEWW

➜ DAMN IS HE NOISY IN TEXT & ON UNGODLY HOURS

➜ let me explain

➜ suna is the type of person that may seem quiet but could honestly be as chaotic as he can be

➜ good chaotic? or evil chaotic?

➜ you decide for yourself

➜ and that's when he's just a normal person to any other normal person

➜ but you're his younger sibling

➜ y'know, the one he sees everyday

➜ willingly or not HSJSNNXC

➜ yeah he'll be quiet sure but if YOU ever join into the mix

➜ fox boi is thriving quietly while your parents are just so done with you guys

➜ i headcanon that he's the type to fall asleep in day time

➜ but when it's night where h's supposed to be sleeping, homeboy is anything but sleeping

➜ he'll have a hard time sleeping and honestly you're probably also in the same situation as him because wow, sibling goals😍❇✨🗽

➜ and if you ARE in the same situation as him, and you'd get a random message from him at the most UNGODLIEST TIMES to go to a 24 hours open mcdonalds fast-food,

➜ who were you to object??

➜ like y'all's parents would wake up to go to work or something and would when they check the family gc, suna sent a pic of you falling asleep on a mcdonalds playground

➜ would paniK LMAOOO

➜ but before they pull your drowsy ass back, they'd check your guys' rooms and in the midst of checking they'd find you guys sleeping on the living room sofa

➜ woke up the next day in the floor because suna unconciously pushed you from the sofa y'all were sharing but you had a blanket placed on top of you while he was ShiVERING to death

➜ expect cursed videos or weird snapchat stories of you guys either saved privately or drunkenly high posted for the whole world to see😗😍

➜ y'all have the most random conversation at 3 am in imessage but y'all still forgot you sent those

➜ the type to message you a meme he finds funny while his drowssiness is taking a toll on him

➜ the type to message you while he's in the same room as you

➜ like especially if there are guests around & he hates socializing & just doesn't have the energy to talk to them

➜ fights were uncommon, and if it ever happens oH my

➜ he'll give you a cold shoulder because he's THAT petty b itch💅👊

➜ but he's probably the first to apologize because you are probably also a petty bi tch 💅👊

➜ b i c t h

➜ he's honestly a great listener 10/10 would recommend

➜ he may not be the best at advices, but atleast he's good at listening

➜ would a HUNDERED ( 100 ) PERCENT % dump the chores ordered for him to do TO YOU

➜ and would definitly use the excuse

“ because i'm older than you ”

➜ in conclusion, suna may be a lazy bicth but he'd be an . . . entertaining brother to say the least & never fails to take the role as an older sibling through hidden and small ways.

KITA SHINSUKE.

➜ the silent but active older brother

➜ the type of older brother that may not seem he cares about you but he actually does

➜ like  a l o t

➜ like that one chapter in the manga where kita may sound like a judgemental douche but actually cares about atsumu and gave him a note to take care of himself or something? with cough drops, pickled plums, lemon water etc.

➜ ugh i live for that

➜ anywh0res, that chapter?? yeah, you experienced alot of those

➜ you have gotten used to his attitude ever since you guys were young

➜ one time, when you guys were young, you scraped your knee and kita may seem like he's lowkey judging you but he was actually so worried

“ see? that's what happens when you're too clumsy ”

➜ yet proceeds to kneel next to you & would piggyback you while saying that you should lay off desert becausr you were getting heavy

➜ THE DIFFERENCE WITH HIM AND BOKUTO THO FGFDJJKDR

➜ and one time when you overworked yourself because of your studies to the point you got sick, kita was the one that was taking care of you

➜ your temperature? taken AND recorded by him. your porriage? made by him. if you got worse, he would make an appointment with a doctor. appointment? scheduled and made by him.

➜ and that's on periodt😋

➜ would scold you and use judgmental tones BUT would be so caring towards you ahHh

➜ and if it wasn't that bad but you still had to stay home the next day, but it was a school day so that means volleyball practice for kita

➜ and y'all probably argued about something that morning and he left while you were still sulking about your fight and when you entered the kitchen you would find a bag of your favourite foods, those cooled things you put on your forehead to bring the heat down, & medicines.

➜ and in the table was your porriaged cooked and served with a note on the side which says :

please take care of yourself more, i'll be home after practice like usual.

love, kita-nii.

➜ UGH YOUR HAND IN MARRAIGE SIRRRR

➜ and when bb boy went home you apologized about your fight that morning and he'd be so shocked because you don't usually say sorry first whenever you guys fight

➜ would tell you stories of what happened at practice that day simce you weren't there

➜ speaking of that, you would wait around the volleyball club and would be their unofficial manager

➜ why? because kita made you since he would ALWAYS walk you home with him and maybe some of his team mates that lives near you guys

➜ like he ain't reporting a missing teenager anytime soon

➜ already has a lot of things to handle so he would appreciate that you would get kidnapped on a different day? yeah, thx💋

➜ would garden with you because i headcanon that he really loves and has a passion for gardening & probably has his own little vegetables growing in the side awe

➜ would 100% help you do your chores

➜ and with anything you need honestly

➜ ugh we stan

➜ and if you ever awknowledge everything he has done for you and would let him know that you awknowledge him & that you REALLY APPRECIATE HIM AS YOU SHOULDDD💅😩✋

➜ he'd probably cry on the spot ngl

➜ i'm joking, but y'all would probably be so soft at that moment that he just offered you to watch those old childhood movies you guys used to love to watch

➜ in conclusion, i love this mans so much and that you should too. even if he may seem judgemental & a douche but trust me when i say he cares ALOT about you but he just shows it subtly. and he deserves a lot of love as well because you don't know how much has he taken care of you ever since you guys were kids.

-ˏˋ playing soleil's tape ˊˎ-

[ 📼 ] . . . another big brother headcanon?? y'all eating tHAT SHI T UP. but honestly, me too. also, another one of bokuto's sister x akaashi one will be posted either tonight, or tomorrow as per an anon's request. ugh we love a productive sister. @ to the anon who requested this, hope you enjoyed it because i totally did while my crusty eyes tries to stay awake last nighy writing this👑

requests are open or just send me anything because i need hooman interactions rn😋✌

[thoughtfullyyoungduck]

Scars

Summary: could you do a losers club x reader where she has scars or maybe she’s having a panic attack and basically she just hides it and then the losers find out and comfort her and they find out it’s henry so they all go and confront him

Warning: mentions of scars and low self-esteem because of it

A/N: I hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think

‘Hey guys, the clubhouse is the other way, or did you forget?’

‘Oh did we not tell you?’ Richie smirks, leaving you to instantly prepare for the worst. ‘Change of plans, we’re going to the quarry.’

For every time the losers go swimming, there’s an excuse to weasel out of it. The first few times the losers wanted to go to the quarry, you simply claimed you couldn’t swim, that the water terrified you with its unpredictable waves that could kill you at any moment if you weren’t considered enough. That excuse lasted for a while, until Richie scoured through your photo albums and found a photo of you as a little girl grinning from ear to ear in the sea near where your old home was. Then the losers started getting suspicious and called you out on it.

You were forced to admit, under rosy cheeks and a heart full of guilt, that you lied to them about not being able to swim, and you were just joking to see how long I would last before they caught on. The reasoning was flimsy at best, and Stan, never one to take bullshit from anyone, saw straight through you but remained silent.

The next time the quarry was brought up, you agreed to go, but canceled with the justification that you were sick. The time after that you were grounded, and after that you had more chores to do then you anticipated and couldn’t finish them in time to join.

You knew time was running out, and that sooner or later the losers would notice that you always and only didn’t show up whenever the activity was swimming. You didn’t back down for anything else, ranging from going to the movies or helping Eddie sneak out of his house at night, you’d be there and you’d do it. And in reality, swimming really didn’t faze you at all. Sure, it was unpredictable and could be potentially dangerous, but you thrived under that. You like the way danger adds a bit of spice to the boring and normal life you would otherwise be forced to live in a small town like Derry.

The water isn’t the problem for you, it doesn’t frighten you the way you claimed, what frightens you is the idea of your friends seeing the remnants of what Henry Bowers has done to you.

The day you moved to Derry, way before Beverly approached you and offered you a spot in the losers club, Henry cornered you outside of Keens pharmacy. You’d picked up some Tylenol to stash in your medicine cabinet at home when Henry, who you had no idea at was an actually psychopath at the time, asked you for your name.

His goons were hidden somewhere you couldn’t see, and fresh with the nervousness of being the new kid in a small town, you had been grateful someone was willing to be friendly and get acquainted with you. The sick grin playing on his features was a cruel taunt towards you having to much faith in your fellow peers. He surprised you with a knife gash to the arm, a probable single for the others to come help him by holding you back by the arms, while Henry quote; ‘Do to this bitch what I couldn’t do the fat boy.’

The name Henry now starkly proclaims what he perpetrated, and it’s the cutting is obvious every time you take your shirt off. It’s a disgusting claim Henry tried to force on you, and you won’t allow it to be seen by anyone, including your friends. And if that meant lying to them about a triviality, then so be it.

The sun glistens on the quarry water as the group arrives, and in a moment of undisclosed frustration, you glare at the water that has given you such a hard time over the past few months. In retaliation, the light reflection hits you straight in the eyes, effectively blinding you for a second.

‘Okay Y/N, time to make a decision, wanna jump from the cliff and get it over with or start slow by walking in? If it makes the choice easier, Eddie’s mom always rolls in.’ Richie says to you, grinning as a furious Eddie throws insults at him.

There’s not a lot of excuses that can be called up at the last moment, but you try to think of one anyway.

‘Actually I don’t feel so good, I think I’m going to sit this one out, but you guys go ahead and have fun.’

‘No, we’re going to help you overcome your fear of swimming today, no more putting it off.’

‘What?’

‘Your fear of swimming. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.’ Bev explains, already well on her way of throwing her clothes in a heap, leaving her in her swimwear. You gulp loudly and hope no one noticed it.  

‘Don’t be embarrassed. All of us are scared of something, but that’s what we’re here for, we help each other, so now we’re going to help you with this.’ Mike’s a sweetheart, all of your friends are, but this issue is for beyond what they think they know.

Richie and Eddie, ever the two amok makers, are in the water up to their waist shoving each other forward without waiting on the rest of the losers. It seems fun, and you really want to join in. You heard all about the water games they play when you’re too busy avoiding getting undressed and admittedly, it always stings. But it doesn’t sting enough for you to get over the weariness of showing the losers what Henry did to you.  

‘We can stay on the side if you prefer that? We won’t go any further than we can stand, I promise.’ The earnestly of the statement is what makes it so hard to decline.

‘Hey guys,’ Ben speaks up after regarding you with peeked curiosity. ‘What if we do something more fun today? We could swim with our clothes on.’

‘Ben I don’t think-‘

‘Actually, that’s a great idea. I’d really like that.’ Getting to keep your shirt on means that your scar won’t be visible, and because Ben suggested it, no one will be suspicious of you.

‘With clothes in the water? Are you crazy? Swimming with clothes increases the percentage of dying by, I don’t even know how much but like 90%.’ Eddie’s hurriedly rushing back to shore, trying to get on dry land as fast as possible. He doesn’t think twice about running over the tiny rocks that he usually carefully avoids, convinced that they carry some kind of decease with them, not when he has a whole lot of information to share. His frantic behavior causes you to chuckle.

‘Eddie-‘ Bev hisses in warning. With her eyes she tries to send a silent message, trying to get Eddie to stop talking.’

‘No it’s okay. Like Bill said, I’ll just stay on the side.’ You smile gratefully towards Ben, who reciprocates almost inconspicuously.

‘Well if your highnesses are finally done chattering our afternoon away, can we now please get on with it? I have an eight o’clock appointment with Eddie’s mom.’

‘Beep beep Richie’, the whole group chants.

As it turns out, you missed out on a lot more than just taking a dip. You forewent hours of playing chicken and sitting on the shoulders of your friends in a battle to push the losers on someone else shoulder off, and dunking Richie underwater once his bravery took over his mouth. You missed out on karaoke from the water, listening to a song on the radio that Mike brought with him from the farm house.

To protect yourself from disappointment, you’d imagined these trips to be the same boring routine all the time, but you had been proven wrong. Now you finally understood why the losers were always so eager to go to the quarry again. It’s probably even better without wet clothes sticking to your skin and the fear that in a play fight your shirt would crawl a little too high to reveal Henry’s signature, but the day you had was perfect none the less.

All the activity has worn you out, especially with the extra weight of wet clothes to drag you down, so you decide to rest up on land, sitting in the direction of your friends who are still going at it. Richie scoop his hands full of water and aims it at Eddie, who screeches and dips him under water for his efforts while the rest of the group shakes their head fondly. A typical day with the losers.

‘I don’t like taking off my shirt either.’ Ben says, spooking you with how close he’s standing suddenly. You hadn’t even heard him coming.

‘Oh, why?’ Ben having very little to no self-esteem isn’t a secret, and you’d overheard enough things at school to figure out why, but you didn’t think that was an issue with the losers, where everyone had their own little quirks and oddities and nobody was made fun of for it.

‘My weight for one,’ he laughs but it’s not bitter, it’s more a self-deprecating laugh, like the idea that he isn’t repulsive is too funny to consider. ‘And the Henry thing.’

‘What Henry thing?’

‘You didn’t know?’ He lifts up the edges of shirt, exhibiting the large letter H carved into the soft skin of his stomach. It’s nauseating, not because it’s ugly, but the fact that anyone, psychopath or not, could do something that cruel to sweet Ben. A realization dawns on you.

‘Henry didn’t like me very much, I think he was trying to do his full name and scare me off but he didn’t get the chance. Anyway it’s fine, I’ve got you guys to make me feel better. I just wanted to tell you so you’d know you aren’t alone.’ He stands up and prepares to dive back into the water, but his braveness has created a path for yours.

‘Ben wait’, you call out, dashing over to his side. ‘He did it to me too’, you say in one breath, afraid that if you think about it to much you’ll back down. ‘Look.’ Your fingers trace over the scare tissue as you raise your shirt just enough so the bottom of the lines are visible. ‘I guess he had more time with me then with you.’

‘Y/N’, Ben exhales shocked. His hand hovers over shirt, unsure if he’s allowed to touch. ‘I’m so sorry that happened to you.’

‘It’s fine, there’s nothing that can be done about it now anyway. I was just embarrassed about it I guess. But when you showed me yours, I finally understood there was nothing to be ashamed of.’

‘Hey shitheads, are you coming back in or what?’ Richie voice cuts through the atmosphere hanging around Ben and you. It breaks you out of your shared world of past grievances and hurt, and back into the new era full of love and a friendship that will never abandon either of you.

‘We’re coming’, you yell to Richie, then look back to Ben. Let’s take our shirts off’, you suggest, waiting on Ben’s conformation or denial. ‘There’s nothing for either of us to be ashamed of, so let’s just do it. Fuck Henry.’

Ben laughs, then nods determinately. ‘Yeah, fuck Henry indeed.’

The both of you run into the water wearing nothing but your swimsuits.

A few days later you walk past the school entrance with new found confidence. Of course the losers had question, but you answered them as best as you could, and it feels like a part of you, a part you didn’t want, has been left in the past while you’ve moved forward.

As you walk past the girls bathroom, you happen to pick up on two girls gossiping to the other, all hushed as if they’re sharing the biggest secret anyone could imagine.

‘Didn’t you hear? Apparently those kids that call themselves the losers club ambushed him last night. They say that Henry never stood a change and that he cried like a baby.’

‘Shoot, I would have payed money to see that.’                                                

You roll your eyes, already thinking of ways to simultaneously kill and thank your friends.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

handmaid - 22

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap

A/N: there is a HUGE musical theatre reference in this chapter and i’m rly happy it is here 😉 hope you enjoy this chapter xx thank you so much for the love you’ve been giving this series so far, i love you all so so much !! 

NEXT CHAPTER

In any other circumstances, Y/N would’ve been crying but considering Daniel was downstairs awaiting her. She was happy, she convinced herself, she was happy to spend Christmas with Dan, Gwen and everyone else. She was happy, this was just her post first time brain playing tricks on her. Why would she expect the mob boss to suddenly drop his plans to come and spent Christmas with her at his wife’s childhood home? Maybe it was a good idea he didn’t want to go with her. How hypocrite to walk into Gwen’s house with the same husband to be she just slept with. God, Y/N, get your head in the game.

With the bag that hadn’t been unpacked the day prior she abandoned her bedroom, head slightly turning towards Sebastian’s room. Unconsciously, she hoped he would be at the door but it was closed. There was no way he was spending Christmas with the Forrests and Y/N did not know why she was hoping he did. Well, she knew why. She was an hopeless girl filled to the brim with naivety. Shaking those thoughts and the events of last night into a black corner of her mind, she went down the stairs where Dan was standing, awaiting her on his phone. 

     - Hey Dan. - she forced a smile out of her clouded, over ran mind. The eldest Forrest sibling smiled at her, coming in for a hug. However, Y/N was not much into the mindset to be hugged or to be her regular self so she let herself be embraced with a dazed off look. - We should be going before it starts snowing again. 

     - Of course, birdie. 

She gave the upstairs another look as she followed Daniel onto the lift. She was happy, right? She was happy to go spend Christmas with those who she considered the only sort of family she had ever known. She was happy. She couldn’t be happier. Right? Couldn’t be happier, right there with Dan in the car, sort of like her own happy ending, right? Spending Christmas like she always did. Though it is she admits the tiniest bit unlike she anticipated but she couldn’t be happy. No, she’s happy, she’s happy to be here driving away from the Upper East into her childhood home. 

However, there’s a kind of a sorta of cost, a sort of thing that got lost when she left that bedroom. There are bridges you cross you didn’t know you crossed until you crossed and Y/N, Y/N had just crossed that bridge. With an overwhelming sadness in her eyes, a far cry from the bright sparks whenever she got to see the decorations from the car windows, she leaned against the glass, finger raising up to doodle sweet nothings onto the fogged surface.

It didn’t take as long as she was expecting to arrive to her childhood home. Maybe this was due to her need to be inside her mind wondering if she had done something mid falling asleep and waking up that would’ve hurt Sebastian. Did she hurt him in any other way or was he just playing safe? He was an analytical man, after all he needed to be in order to thrive in the environment he’d been born in. Maybe Y/N was expecting regular expectations from a man who wasn’t regular. 

    - You’re very quiet. - Dan was the first one out of the car, thanking the driver before taking her bag off the back. - Did something happen with Sebastian? I was worried about leaving you alone with him.

    - Don’t you think it’s odd he doesn’t want to spend Christmas with us ... I mean with Gwen? She is his ... wife-to-be. 

    - Dad doesn’t really want him here. Don’t you remember Gwen’s 18th? He was here. 

    - I’m sure I would remember if he had been around. - however, in all honesty, Y/N had spent Gwen’s 18th, which had also been her 18th, much more interested in reading Pride and Prejudice for the 100th time. - Why doesn’t Mr. Forrest want him here?

    - You’re making a lot of questions you don’t need the answer to, birdie. 

    - Why do you always leave me in the dark? I’m 24, I’m not exactly a child anymore. - she crossed her arms, annoyed at the lack of responses to her questions. Maybe it was the newly found annoyance at everything that gave her the chops to stand up and ask for some answers.

    - You are not in the mob, Y/N. You don’t get to ask questions and you certainly don’t get to have the answers. - he harshly opened the door, allowing her to come inside and see the same sights she saw every single year. How come she didn’t feel as excited as she should? The decorations seemed prettier and shinier in her mind and the once environment she was sad not to return to, she was now sad to be in. It just felt empty. 

   - Where is the staff? - she looked around, noticing the substantially lack of people running around despite for a few bodyguards.

    - Gwen gave them Christmas off. - Dan shrugged. - I guess she’s preparing herself to be a housewife. 

   - I seriously doubt that. - she muttered under her breathe before grabbing her bag and climbing up to her bedroom. It was mostly unchanged, like a picture frame of what her life had been like before she had met him. Well, turns out she might have met him prior but Gwen’s and her 18th birthday had been a mostly chaotic experience so maybe her brain had compartalised that far far away from her. 

Sitting down in her bed she let out a huff. God what did she want? First she wanted to spend Christmas like she always did and when she got it she felt miserable. Is that how people behave after losing their virginity or was Y/N missing him already? It surely had hurt her for him not even to consider coming with her but if Mr. Forrest wasn’t found of him then maybe it made sense. Anyway, it felt like a cold answer and Y/N was starting to tire herself of being constantly left in the dark. If she was good enough to be close to Mr. Forrest’s daughter then she was good enough to get answers. 

Much too upset with that whole line of thought, Y/N grabbed her phone from her back pocket, unlocking it to reach for her contact list. She didn’t have many which gave her an easy path towards who she wanted to reach. Sebastian. After convincing herself that he wasn’t mad at her and that all of this was a great misunderstanding, she dialled his number. Leaning her ear against the phone she heard the long and high beeps, expecting to hear his voice anytime soon. However, it never came through.  

    - I thought I’d head Daniel arrive. - Y/N raised her head from her bed to see Mr. Forrest by the door. - I’m sure you’re hungry, Y/N. Why don’t you join us for lunch and great the guests.

    - I’m not entirely sure I’m up for food, Mr. Forrest.

    - Nonsense. Besides, I’m sure Gwen misses you. - he fully opened the door, gesturing out. Gwen, yeah, how was Y/N gonna look in her eye ever again? As she went down the stairs with the head of the family, she wondered how she was ever gonna speak to Gwen ever again until she spotted her at the table being very cozy with one of the associates sons. Great, just what she wanted, a table full of the same associates that clearly disliked her by the cabaret experience. However, it wasn’t Gwen flirting with the young men at the table or the amount of associates present at Christmas Eve, it was a very familiar man sat next to the only empty seat. - Y/N, I’m sure you’ve met Mr. Williams before. He’s spending the holidays with us. 

    - Yes, we’ve had the pleasure. - he smiled as she sat next to him. - We are very glad you can spend Christmas with us, Miss Y/N.

    - Imagine having to spend the holidays with Sebastian in that tiny overrated penthouse. - Gwen said before stuffing her mouth with a forkful of meat loaf.

    - He is really not that bad, Gwen. - Y/N spoke up in her normal soft and melodic voice. Normally her opinions tended to go unnoticed but at those words, every single person seemed to redirect his attention towards her. 

    - Never mind Y/N. She’s a very forgiving person. - Mr. Forrest diffused the situation with the sort of swiftness that only people holding power could do so. Soon enough, everyone was too distracted in their own affairs and conversations to really care about Y/N. She didn’t care much about being invisible, in all honesty, her expectation in life was to be invisible and so far she was good at it. Invisible people don’t deal with conflicts ... well at least not physical conflicts as she has mental conflicts galore. 

The meal took a rather long time to finish with people laughing and stopping to comment on various issues and she had to admit not having the staff to speak to was a bit boring. Yet again, Y/N was already quite uncomfortable being next to Mr. Williams and the weird aura he always let through, so she had spent most of her lunch checking her phone for any new messages, any new calls but there were none to be seen. He was probably busy, he was a busy important man. 

    - ... no, there’s no need. Y/N can take the dishes into the kitchen. - her name being spoken by Gwen made her raise her gaze from her phone onto the table and Gwen. - Right?

   - Gwen ... - Daniel warned, voice low but still laced with threat. In normal situations, she would’ve recognised it, but the heiress was much too intoxicated with champagne. 

   - What? It’s not like she’s part of the family, she’s staff. - she added and in that moment Y/N felt a bit less guilty she had slept with her husband to be.

   - Genevieve, that’s rude. - Mr. Forrest added.

   - What? It’s true, she’s a handmaid.

   - Gwen ... - Daniel returned with that same threatening voice but Y/N found it rather hypocritical coming from the same man who just a second ago had shot all her questions down in a rather rude manner. 

    - It’s alright. - Y/N stood up and started collecting all the plates, stacking them together on top of her arms.

Gwen was right, at the end of the day this wasn’t her family. They had raised her but they weren’t her family at the end of the day. She was just a handmaid. She wasn’t part of the mob, she was a handmaid. A handmaid. She never thought about the word itself for too long, always considering herself a friend but at the end of the day she was a subordinate to everyone and that was what she would always be. 

Words can hurt and these words had cut through her. Not even Sebastian seemed to want to actually pick up her calls. Maybe Gwen was right, she was a handmaid and that was what she was always gonna be. 

She put the dishes on the sink, taking them one by one to dispose of the food scraps and start scrubbing them. She looked down at her soapy hands and then at the metal kettle on her side, noticing her reflection in it. The tendrils flying in front of her head and the soap suds made her look exactly like the staff Gwen made her out to be. She was too lost in how she looked in her reflection that the slippery plate slipped off her hand, shattering onto the floor into a thousand bits. 

Y/N kneeled down, starting to pick up the shards so lost in her own negative thinking she didn’t realise tears had started to run down her cheeks until they hit the palm of her hand and she broke down sobbing in the middle of the kitchen, surrounded by the shards of porcelain which once were a plate. 

Just a handmaid. Out of the sudden, it seemed to her that she had finally realised what she was. A subservient. At that point, Y/N wondered if that what she was to Sebastian too, a submissive creature which he could do with as she pleased.

   - It’s just a plate, there’s really no need for there to be any tears about it. - she immediately straightened her posture, returning to her standing position.

   - Mr. Williams. 

   - It’s really unfair, isn’t it? - he circled her, leaning against a opposite marbled surface in the kitchen. - People like us getting treated like dirt by the top ones. 

   - I’d really rather not speak about it. - she smiled softly, hoping he would leave. - It’s really no issue, I enjoy doing the dishes anyway. 

   - It hurts, doesn’t it, Miss Y/N? To know that she’s the one who is going to walk down the isle and you’re gonna be in the sideline. 

   - I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir. I really need to return to the dishes.

   - You and Mr. Stan aren’t fooling anyone. Maybe Genevieve, but you’re definitely not fooling me, birdie. You’re not the mistress type.

tag list: @lilya-petrichor​ @xoxohannahlee​ @irespostthingsiwanttoseelater​ @nikkipea​ @madisonpillstrom​ @cevans98​ @thelostallycat​ @sideeffectsofyou​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @captainchrisstan​ @lookiamtrying​​ @sarge-barnes-sir​​​​​ @stuffforreferences​​ @thebadassbitchqueen @sebastianstansqueen​​

[willowistic22]

Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for...  obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision�� was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

-

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit. 

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”