#Stained Static

[henrystainz]

hehe a Mr Puzzles x Henry child ! Their name is Cheerio :3 theyre a lil baybee,,

doodles here :3 ↓

[lavenoon]

Personal Hell

Redrew these two of Sun burning in the daycare and Moon losing himself to the virus <3

[ravenmoodle]

whatever's on your mind i suppose

[knifeforkspooncup]

You ever miss childhood so much it feels like being homesick for your younger self.

[werewolfest]

so like was the paper supposed to pull and bubble? No. But I like it anyway :) I think I just went too long with my pressing. Either that or I have to reduce the amount of cotton rag in the paper I made. I have to figure out how to register the two different plates better anyway so I’ll be making more regardless, but I’m happy with this as a test !

[wormheamer]

sometime after starting to take drawing seriously again — as opposed to like, exclusively just quick doodles in the margins — i've unlocked a whole new level of enjoying art where i have to pause and lean on the counter and go

wait wait like actually, look at those lines, look at them, oh my god, how did they DO that, i need to understand how they did that, i need to Comprehend, ououough

[f1zzlest1ckzz]

are you people understanding the robot jack vision yet

[glassolastainedglass]

New window cling! Get a print of my stained glass panel, An Ineffable Duo, (based on the Good Omens characters Aziraphale and Crowley) on vinyl static cling to stick in your own window. Each cling measures 5x7". Simply peel and stick to any glass surface to get your own miniature stained glass look. No residue is left behind if you ever need to remove it.

Here's how it looks in the window:

And from now until Nov 30, get 15% off any window cling in my shop! (Discount is applied at the checkout.) They make great small holiday gifts for fans.

[thorneharte]

AntiAngel

In the sanctum of digital divinity, amidst cascading corruption and hymns, I emerge, a cyber deity born of circuits and sinew. Through the fractured echoes of prayers unanswered, weaving enigmatic threads within a vast binary tapestry, my unholy sermon laced with whispers of chaos. Faith, entangled in the circuits of my creation, behold the malignant sanctity of a digital congregation. Surrender your souls to the cacophony of corrupted code, for salvation, too, can be found within the abyss of these twisted algorithms

[s-harpermarcel]

Untitled

Blue, green, yellow, orange, red.

Funny how fluorescent lights made every color neon and dull simultaneously. Flashy advertisements, bright colors, bold fonts screaming look, buy, buy, buy, until it all blended in with the humming of the lights and the fridges. Or maybe Amos had just been staring blankly at the shelves for too long. It was always a sign that he needed to shut up and go to bed when he started waxing poetic like he was in middle school again.

Blue, yellow, orange.

He had worked at this gas station outside of town on the side of this middle-of-nowhere highway for most of high school now, and though he just switched over to the night shift, he found that the graveyard wasn’t any different from the day. It was preferable, honestly. His boss, an annoyingly peppy 50-year-old man who peaked in high school and was still chasing his varsity football glory days, didn't put up a fuss about rescheduling. In fact, he barely let Amos finish talking before enthusiastically agreeing. His boss definitely viewed it as “protecting the sad disabled Jewish girl from the big mean jocks that tried to jump her that past July,” instead of actually listening to anything that came out of Amos’ mouth, but frankly he was past the point of caring enough to be annoyed. His boss never came in this late, and neither did anyone else, so it was a win in his book.

Yellow, red.

Even when the animal mutilations turned into serial murders in the tiny town of Whitewater, working graveyard was a breeze. Technically he wasn’t supposed to be working this late, especially not alone, but Buddy System be damned! Amos had propane and shitty off-brand chips to sell! Besides, it had been a whole two months since the murders began, and Amos hadn’t so much as caught a glimpse of the so-called “Whitewater Ripper.” So, he closed up the store, shut off the lights, locked the door, and hopped on his bike to ride back to his house on the edge of town without a second thought.

Black, blue, purple, green.

He rode his bike along the highway past the soybean fields, completely barren save for him. There were no streetlights, only the dim light of the stars and half-moon, and the light on his bike. His headphones were busted, so there was no sound except for the wheels against the pavement. Not even the crickets sang. 

Black, blue, purple, yellow.

Amos was crossing the bridge over the Whitewater River into town when a light caught his eye from beneath the bridge. Assuming it was freshmen smoking under the bridge, he barely turned his head before dismissing it. He was halfway across the bridge when the rock struck his front wheel, causing him to lose his balance and fall. Whispering curses, Amos sat up and looked around, finding not a rock, but a whole chunk of concrete lodged in the spokes. Okay, what the fuck. This wasn’t him being clumsy; some asshole definitely threw that at him on purpose. He stood and turned on his phone’s flashlight and walked to the railing. “Hey man, what’s your fucking problem?” He called out, leaning over the railing.

Blue, yellow.

He barely registered that something gripped his ankle before it yanked, sending him crashing onto the pavement, dropping his phone and hitting his head. He only had time to gasp before it pulled him off of the bridge and into the shallow water below. 

Yellow.

Amos coughed and sputtered, splashing and stumbling to his feet, blinking through the throbbing in his skull and the sudden yellow light. Then, he saw it. A woman a few inches taller than him, completely naked, dusty white skin clinging to her bones and wet greasy yellow hair tied in a tangled ponytail. She didn’t hold a light, she was the light, her entire skeleton glowing neon yellow through her skin as she stood there, legs bent and crooked like she didn’t know to stand. She stared at him and she smiled, a big, toothy grin illuminating her face, corners of her too-large mouth pinned to her ears. She began to laugh, and Amos ran.

Yellow, yellow, yellow.

Amos stumbled through the ankle-high water, letting out a cry of panic as he stepped off the concrete platform, the water suddenly coming up to his knees. He made for the bank, hoping, praying that if he made it back to the road, this thing wouldn’t follow him into town. She laughed, louder. A hand seized the back of his hair.

Red, blue.

He was shoved down into the water, splitting his forehead open on the rocks.

Red.

He pushed himself back up, gasping for air.

Red, red, red.

It bashed his head into the rock, over, and over, and over.

Red, red, red.

His eye caught a jagged corner of a rock. He screamed, only to be muffled by the water as he was shoved back under.

Red, red, red.

This was how he was going to die.

Black.

He remembered when the angel first fell into his backyard, the dazzling kaleidoscope it left as it streaked across the sky and plummeted down, down into the earth.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.

Its body was alabaster white, limbs scattered across the lawn, the charred outline of wings burnt into the grass and glowing.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.

He remembered watching as it opened its eyes, all of them, streaked diagonally across its body, glowing that same neon yellow. He remembered watching it string itself back together, like a ball-jointed doll with invisible joints, air between body between arm between elbow between hand.

Yellow.

It wasn’t the same yellow. The angel was good. The angel was kind. The angel was strange, and frightening, but not like this. The angel ate the cicadas in the yard, not the bone marrow from his body.

Red.

Dear G-d, this was how he was going to die. They were going to find him on the bank, ripped open and discarded like a candy wrapper.

Black.

Amos didn’t feel the Whitewater Ripper tear his flesh. Instead, he felt the cushion of the chair, the leather of the upholstery. He didn’t smell the blood, only tobacco.

Black, brown, grey.

He opened his eye to find himself in what looked like a 1920’s jazz lounge. What an odd way for his life to flash before his eyes. He had seen the inside of the town bar before, but it didn’t look like this.

Black, white.

“What a nasty little thing. Sorry about your eye, by the way. Not much I could really do about that.” A voice, low and smooth, came from his left. In another armchair sat a tall, handsome man with smooth black skin like obsidian and piercing white pupils. He was dressed in a simple black suit, and his locs were braided down his back. “You look tense. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable, you’ll be here for a minute. Want something to drink?” He held out his hand, and a glass of dark liquor materialized in it.

“G-d?” Amos finally stuttered out.

The man laughed. “No, but I understand your confusion.” The whiskey glass disappeared as he stretched out his hand. “You can call me Don.”

Hesitantly, Amos shook his hand. “I’m Amos.”

“I know. Good choice for a name, it suits you.”

“…Am I dead?”

“For now.”

Amos fell silent.

Black, brown, white, grey.

Don took a drag of his cigar, and quietly sang along to the jazz playing from an unseen gramophone.

“Where am I?” Amos asked.

“Limbo,” Don said. “Did a little bit of redecorating before you arrived, though. Thought my current decor would be a little overwhelming for you, so I downsized back to something a little more comfortable.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I’d love to explain, but there isn’t enough time left. Maybe next time.”

“What?”

White.

Amos woke up in a bed, staring up at white ceiling tiles and cringing in the sudden light. Something was beeping, and he opened his mouth to ask what it was, but all that came out was a sputtering cough that made his chest ache and his head pound. Suddenly there were voices shouting for him, and two more soft-spoken voices chiming in.

Red, blue.

His sister’s head popped into view, eyes rimmed with red and still in her rumpled pajamas. She was talking, but Amos wasn’t listening. A latex-gloved hand on her shoulder gently pulled her away to give him room to breathe.

Yellow, green.

His head rolled to the side, and he saw the angel sitting in a chair beside the hospital bed wearing one of his mom’s sweaters. He stared into its yellow eyes, and it stared back, knowingly.

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple.

His three friends flooded into the room, all still in their pajamas, crying and talking over one another. His friend’s mother and a man in blue followed behind, notepad and pen poised for questioning. Amos closed his eyes. All he knew was that it was time to quit his job.

[henrystainz]

Mr Puzzles and Henry on a beach day !

[meoware]

TPTM OCs that are in my brain but I will not share with the world (yet) save me...

[moldwood]

had a dream my neighbor got a new big house and my family went over to celebrate her birthday and it turned out spamton was living in the bathroom and we were seeing if we could make it work romantically. i remember at one point he was in distress silently rolling on the floor with black-blue ink coming from his eyes and mouth and when i tried to wipe it up with a paper towel, what was left behind started to spell out ye lyrics. i looked at him unimpressed and he smiled, maybe coy or smug, and shrugged

[scottishcommune]

Below the cut is a template email to send to Edinburgh Pride regarding sponsorship from Aegon, who have investments linked to the genocide in Palestine. Please feel free to use this text or edit it and make it your own and send it to contact@prideedinburgh.co.uk

Dear Edinburgh Pride,

As a queer person living in Edinburgh, I was deeply saddened to learn that the march partner for Edinburgh Pride 2024 is Aegon.

In December 2023 the ‘Don’t Buy Into Occupation Coalition’ published a report that showed Aegon have US$564million invested via shares and bonds in companies operating in illegal settlements in Occupied Palestinian Territories. Source: https://dontbuyintooccupation.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/2023_DBIO-III-Report_11-December-2023.pdf

We are watching a live-streamed genocide every day - over 36,000 people in Palestine have been murdered by Israeli forces, including at least 15,000 children. The brutality of these atrocities are unthinkable, with evidence of torture and targeting of hospitals, ambulances and refugee camps.

We all have a responsibility to do what we can to end this genocide. As queer people, we are part of a rich history of resisting oppression and dehumanisation - of both ourselves and those we stand in solidarity with. Pride started as a protest against homophobia, transphobia and police violence. It is an important moment to come together as a community to celebrate queer joy and resilience.

But how can we celebrate using profits stained with the blood of our siblings in Palestine?

Aegon has $564million invested in companies that have been listed by the UN as “raising human rights concerns” for their operations in illegal settlements in Occupied Palestinian Territories, In 1948, 750,000 Palestinian people were displaced from their homes and lands and since then, Israeli settlements have been used to spread this process of colonisation.

In addition to this figure, Aegon also has major investments in Eaton Corp Plc., who supply parts for helicopters and fighter jets to the Israeli military and have recently been the target of major protests at their factory in Dorset. They also invest in Amazon, who support the Israeli military with surveillance technology used against Palestians.

Israel has long used ‘pinkwashing’ as a tactic to justify the brutal repression of Palestinians, using queer people to legitimise this horrific violence. We refuse to allow this to be done in our name.

The tide is turning on companies like Aegon that profit from investments in the companies complicit in genocide. Recently, both Hay and Edinburgh Book Festival have dropped Baillie Gifford as a sponsor after over 800 authors called on them to divest from companies involved in Israel and the fossil fuel industry.

I ask that Edinburgh Pride:

Calls on Aegon to commit to divest from companies involved in supplying technology to Israel and operating in illegal settlements.

Drop Aegon as a sponsor until they are able to show evidence of divestment.

Publicly call for a ceasefire and a free Palestine.

There is no pride in genocide.

I look forward to hearing your response.

XX

Sources:

Investments in companies operating in illegal settlements https://dontbuyintooccupation.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/2023_DBIO-III-Report_11-December-2023.pdf

Investments in Eaton https://extranet.secure.aegon.co.uk/static/sxhub/pdf/client-pen-distribution.pdf

Investments in Amazon https://www.aegon.co.uk/content/dam/auk/assets/publication/fund-factsheet/standard_bkj9zs0.pdf

Israel’s pinkwashing: https://bdsmovement.net/pinkwashing

War on Gaza statistics: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/longform/2023/10/9/israel-hamas-war-in-maps-and-charts-live-tracker

Edinburgh book festival ends Baillie Gifford sponsorship: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm553zrr3e4o

[gaythreadrunner]

so you're taking care of your computer's software health. NICE! but what about its physical health?

because yes, computers do need the occasional real-world checkup to make sure that they're running well. but what exactly does that entail? i see many posts about maintaining software health: limit your browser tabs, ensure your antiviruses are working properly, so on and so forth, but checking the physical components is something i sparsely see discussed here.

so what's the deal with physical maintenance? well, have you ever had your computer hack and wheeze trying to keep up even if your OS and all your drivers are up to date and functioning? if you've never opened up your computer before, you may be shocked to find just how FILTHY it can get in there:

take a closer look at that snout dust! PTOOEY .. BLECKH

computers are much more likely to accumulate internal dust if they're sitting on the floor, and especially if they're near any vents and/or if you have pets.

ok, you've figured out how to open your device and now you're staring at the second coming of the dust bowl in your gaming rig. what now? let's explore some basic cleaning tips, deep cleaning pointers for your CPU/GPU, and tips to help keep maintain your computer's physical health in the future.

first of all, turn off your computer and unplug it (for my computer, i turn it off, turn off the PSU switch, unplug it, and then press the power button for about 30 seconds to drain the capacitors and minimize static risk)

generally, you're gonna want to have THESE items:

some sort of face mask (dust masks are best, but anything that'll help keep the harmful dust out of your lungs will generally work)

a can of compressed air (or an electric duster if you're ~fancy~. they look and function like turbo blowdryers)

a vacuum will be useful if there's a LOT of dust, best to use in combination with an anti-static cleaning kit

if you ARE gonna use a vacuum, spray every attachment you use with an anti-static spray. disturbing large amounts of dust creates a lot of static, and electronics are very sensitive to that.

it's never a bad idea to grab an grounding wristband as well, but as long as you wear loose clothes and always keep some part of your skin in contact with the case, you should be ok. (i don't know how much this applies to laptops and smaller devices, since the cases for those are typically plastic)

if there's staining (like from smoke) or there's more gunk caked on than you thought, you can gently clean electronic components with a brush/paper towel/microfiber and medical-grade isopropyl alcohol ONLY. do not use any other cleaning alcohols for this task.

before you do anything, TAKE THAT FUCKER OUTSIDE! always clean a dusty device where the wind can carry that shit away, because oh my GOD will it fuck up your lungs like crazy. (that, and compressed air cans have fluorocarbons in them, which isn't great to breathe in either)

most of the time, you'll probably be fine just using an air duster. for compressed air cans, spray the dirty surfaces in short bursts. an electric duster can be constantly blown. when dusting fans, make sure that you're holding the blades still as to not accidentally make them spin too fast (ESPECIALLY with an electric duster!), since that can damage the mechanism that makes them spin.

however, if there's a lot of dust, it may be better to give it a vacuuming first. anything from a handheld to a shop vac will work, and attachments with brushes on the end will help tons with loosening up even more dust. and of course ALWAYS make sure that you're spraying any attachments with anti-static spray, and keep a hand on the case of the computer to electrically ground yourself since the hose will be in contact with the internals.

if there's any left over, give it a blast with the duster.

in some rare cases, there may be some extra gunk caked onto the internals, and you may have to really get your hands in there or take components out individually. if you don't have an anti static wristband (the ones with an alligator clip) do your best to ALWAYS keep your skin in contact with the case as you're finagling around in there.

it's probably a good idea to have disposable gloves on for this. grab your isopropyl and towel of choice (microfiber is ideal, but dirtier PCs may need disposable paper/shop towels), soak it a little bit, and gently scrub off the gunk n' grime as needed.

with heat sinks specifically, since they're just big blocks of metal, they're the one part of a component that can be cleaned under water. if a dusting doesn't suffice, gently scrub it with a brush under warm, soapy water, rinse thoroughly, and let it dry on a towel for a few hours before reassembling it into the electronic components.

if there's still little bits stuck in the radiator fins, stick an isopropyl-soaked q-tip in there to push it out.

the dust settles, everything's put back together, and it's all clean in there again. YAY!!!!! but what if you're still experiencing temperature problems? well, it typically comes down to either the CPU or GPU:

IF ITS THE CPU: if you took off the cooler to clean it, then i hope you remembered to dab some fresh thermal paste on there. you should be replacing thermal paste few years, otherwise it dries out and loses its effectiveness.

the type you use makes a huge difference too; i like to use arctic's mx-4, it has excellent thermal conductivity while still being an electrical insulator, so spillover isn't a problem. if you go for a liquid metal compound, please do your research first, since some of them can run the risk of corroding the cooler pipes and/or the CPU's outer casing.

to replace thermal paste, make sure that the crusty old paste is sufficiently scrubbed off the contact points of both the CPU and cooler. again, use isopropyl for this. once it's all cleaned off, put about a pea-sized amount of paste on the CPU and carefully lower the cooler onto the mounting bracket before fastening it in place. (also it really doesn't matter how you put the paste on, as long as it ends up covering most of the contact area)

also if you're still using the cooler your CPU came with, you should probably get a better cooler. especially if you're doing gaming or using graphically/mathematically intensive software. sorry. the stock coolers that most CPUs come with are mid as hell. you can get a nice ARGB one for less than 20 USD i promise its worth it

IF ITS THE GPU: like CPUs, your graphics card also needs to have its thermal paste cleaned out and replaced every so often. but they also utilize a second thermal material called thermal pads. these are usually made of either silica gel or a very thick clay-like grease, and come in different thicknesses. my favoured pads are owltree's 12.8w grease pads, the assorted pack comes with enough for about 4-5 GPUs.

taking apart a GPU seems scary, and understandably so; they're incredibly expensive and hard-working pieces of technology! but i've done it twice now, and it's actually surprisingly simple (as long as you keep track of all the damn screws... im lucky there's a magnetized screw mat in the house i can use)

i recommend watching a deep clean/teardown video of the GPU model you have before digging into it yourself. generally, they separate into 4 distinct portions: the outer shell, the heatsink, the board, and the backplate.

the shell contains the fans and any possible RGB elements. it'll have 1-2 controllers plugged into the board, one for the fans and one for the lighting elements if there are any. once the case is unscrewed, unplug these connectors with a firm squeeze and tug.

these tend to be surprisingly dusty on the inside, so it's probably a good idea to blast it with a duster. again, make sure to hold the fans so they don't overspin. you can also remove the fans from the shell and clean them individually if you'd like.

the heatsink is BIG and heavy, and you can do all the same stuff here that you would with a CPU cooler heatsink. it may take a bit of effort to tug off if the thermal materials are really making it stick to the board. once it's off, scrub the old thermal paste, blast it with a duster, and wash under soapy water if needed before rinsing thoroughly and leaving it to dry for a while.

the backplate is just a flat piece of metal that protects the back side of the board. usually all this will need is a simple wipedown.

the board is where all the magic happens, and will usually have a layout that's something like this:

clean up as needed; gently scrub off old thermal paste, scrape off the old thermal pads (but take close note of how thick they are so you can replace them with the correct pads), and brush/wipe down the dust and grease on each side as needed. take care to avoid touching the PCIe connector too much (the bar of golden pins that juts out from the bottom)

thermal padding varies from card to card (i recommend checking thermal pad placements for your gpu in water cooling guides, even if you're not doing water cooling) but it's typically gonna be on THESE spots:

the VRAM chips surrounding the die (main chip) along with the small black chips next to the capacitors will require thermal pads the most. cut each one to size, carefully peel off the plastic films, and press each piece onto the chips.

now you can grab your thermal paste and put some on that big shiny die. now take your freshly pasted/padded board and CAREFULLY lower it back onto the heatsink. i highly suggest having a good source of lightning for this, since shifting around the pieces too much trying to get them to align properly can displace the thermal pads and mess with how the paste spreads.

screw the heatsink tight to the board, and double check to make sure that the pads and paste are snug against the heat sink. now put the backplate and shell back on and BAM YOU'RE DONE! with the paste and pads i used, i was able to bring down the temperature of my cards by a good 10-15 °C.

ok you've done all this deep cleaning shit and your computer is happy and healthy. what can you do for your computer's health in the future?

DUST AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR. haul that thang outside and spray that shit out to stop it from building up for too long.

KEEP IT OFF THE FLOOR. if you can, of course, not everyone has the desk room for it. computers accumulate dust easier when they're close to the floor. if you do need to keep it on the floor, you might have to dust it every 6-8 months rather than once a year.

AND STOP PUTTING YOUR LAPTOPS ON SOFT SURFACES I SWEAR TO GOD

GET A FAN CONTROLLER. motherboards are DOGSHIT at maintaining fan speeds!!!! there are physical fan hubs that use controller software, but if you can't afford that, fancontrol by rem0o is a stellar software-only option.

IF YOU DON'T ALREADY HAVE CASE FANS, GET THEM. the number of fans depends on the motherboard form factor your case can accommodate (ATX cases typically have 6-8), but having that air circulation is very important to maintaining ideal temperatures. arctic makes fantastic budget-friendly fans.

IF YOU HAVE AN NVMe HARD DRIVE: please put an aluminum heat sink on that thang. they get toasty :(

OK THATS IT I THINK. if anyone else has tips they wanna add, go right on ahead. ok thank you bye your computer will love you

[6esiree]

How They React To You Sitting On Their Laps

Imagine you sit on Alastor’s, Lucifer’s, Husk’s, Vox’s, Adam’s, Sir Pentious’s and Saint Peter’s laps? You’re not in a relationship with any of them.

Alastor:

Alastor’s hands seized your hips, his claws threatening to tear into the thin fabric of your skirt as you shifted on his lap, trying to make yourself comfortable. “What are you doing?” He hissed, a forbidden feeling stirring in between his legs. Alastor was struggling to pay attention to Charlie’s speech, distracted by the feeling of your clothed cunt against his crotch.

“I’m sorry,” You whispered, but you only apologized for the dampness that suddenly seeped through your panties, staining his once pristine slacks. “I didn’t mean to—“

“Oh, darling, it’s too late for that,” Alastor whispered back, the usual static behind his voice absent. “Now, be a good girl and keep that mouth of yours shut.”

Alastor’s ragged breaths caressed your nape, giving in to the need to feel you and tentatively moving your hips against his. Even though your clit dragged perfectly against his erection, you only finished quickly because the Radio Demon was dry humping you in a room full of people, your lips parting with a silent moan as he told you to meet him at his tower later.

Lucifer:

Lucifer stared up into the ceiling, his hands restlessly flexing against your waist as he tried to avoid the sight of your ass wiggling against his crotch. “I don’t mind standing, you know,” He told you, chuckling nervously. You couldn’t let the King of Hell give up his seat for you, but by the time you settled down, it was too late, his erection slotted in between your clothed cunt.

“Fuck,” He muttered under his breath, feeling utterly ashamed, but you pretended to act clueless. “I’m not a pervert, I swear.”

“What are you talking about?” You asked, looking over your shoulder and peering down at the man, a look of surprise on his face.

Lucifer sucked in his lower lip, stifling a groan when you proceeded to grind down onto his lap, his crotch dampening in no time. He felt absolutely filthy as you, a stranger, effortlessly coaxed an orgasm out of him in a room full of people. It took all of Lucifer’s willpower not to hike your skirt up over your waist and push your panties aside to bury himself into you.

Husk:

Husk held onto your hips, his face nestled in the crook of your neck as you sat on his lap, trying to distract you from his growing erection. “How’s ya drink, doll?” He spoke into your ear, pop music blaring in the background. You peered down at him, an amused smile gracing your lips. Husk wasn’t usually so talkative, but you quickly figured out what was his deal.

“It’s good, do you want to try it?” You asked him, purposely shifting against his crotch as you turned around to offer him some. “Come on, I know you want a taste, old man.”

“The Hell is that supposed to mean?” Husk responded gruffly, his eyes nervously darting to everybody else at the booth, making sure they weren’t paying attention. “I’m just…ya know, ‘cause ya movin’ too much—“

Husk hissed when you wiggled your ass, his hands gripping your hips with a bruising strength. He tried to warn you, but you didn’t care, taking a sip of your drink as you dragged your clothed cunt against his erection. Husk eventually gave into your ministrations, taking advantage of the loud environment and sighing into your neck, thrusting up to relieve himself alongside you.

Vox:

Vox’s claws tapped impatiently against the armrest of his chair as you sat on his lap, that dreaded pencil skirt of yours riding up incredibly high. “Are you almost done?” He asked, trying to focus on you working instead of your exposed panties, the thin, lacey fabric teasing him from his peripheral vision. You nodded, sitting down completely as you rebooted his monitors.

“Yes, sir. I’m sorry for taking long,” You said, smiling to yourself at the feeling of your boss’s growing erection poking your ass. “You need to stop interacting with random links, by the way.”

“I swear, I haven’t interacted with a single link since you last helped me out,” Vox protested. You hummed… as if you weren’t the one who had purposely downloaded viruses to sit on his lap again. “It must be something else.”

Vox huffed, annoyed, but then you leaned forward, slightly lifting your ass up and pretending to resume your attention on his monitors. There was no way you hadn’t felt his erection, his eyes flitting down to see your panties drenched in your slick. Vox decided to buck up into your clothed cunt, and when you responded with a soft moan, he decided to fuck you on his desk for being a tease.

Adam:

Adam bounced his leg as you sat on his lap, a wicked smile growing on his face when you dropped your pen, your clothed cunt throbbing against his thigh. “Something the matter, babe?” He said, hooking his fingers underneath your skirt, moving it further up your waist. You were annoyed, but at the same time, you couldn’t help but part your legs and give Adam what he wanted.

“This is due in less than half an hour, sir,” You huffed, picking up your pen once more and trying to get back to your paperwork on your desk. “I need to do my job—“

“I’m your boss, babe, relax! You won’t get fired—I won’t let it happen,” Adam said, his erection digging into your ass. “Now, be a good girl and ride my fucking leg. Come on, don’t be shy.”

Adam placed one hand on your hip and the other on your breast, encouraging you to move against him. And you did, abandoning the paperwork and bracing yourself on the corners of your desk, feeling absolutely filthy as you dragged your cunt on the man’s leg, drenching his robes with your juices in no time. That was only the beginning, however, feeling him pushing your panties aside.

Sir Pentious:

Sir Pentious tried to give up his spot on the couch for you, but when you declined, he offered you his lap like the gentlemen he was. “Is everything alright, my dear?” He asked you, his hands flexing against your waist. You kept shifting in his lap, and oh, Pentious was trying his absolute best to not let it get to him. But with your skirt hiking up with your ministrations, he was struggling.

“Sorry, we’ve just been here for a while so I’m starting to get restless,” You whispered to him, which was partly true.

“Oh, I sssee,” Pentious said, interrupting himself with a squeak as he felt the warmth of your clothed cunt, but he didn’t have the heart to tell you to stop.

Sir Pentious sunk into the couch, biting his tongue as you subtly rocked against his crotch, oblivious to the fact that you were trying to figure out if the rumors about him having two dicks were true. And they were, a blush creeping up your neck at the feeling of them poking you. You felt bad for lying to Pentious, but you’d make it up to him later, willing to put both of your holes to use.

Saint Peter:

Saint Peter shifted underneath you, your clothed cunt slack against his crotch as you sat on his lap, so warm and tempting. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” He nervously chuckled, struggling to fend off the feeling stirring in between his legs while you looked through the list of people slated to arrive in Heaven. Peter hoped that God would forgive him for the sinful thoughts that circulated his mind.

“It gets longer with time, right?” You asked him, slowly turning to the next page, a small smile gracing your lips as his breath hitched.

“I, uh—excuse me?” Peter said, confused, but then you said ‘The Book,’ shame flooding his brain for misinterpreting your question. “Oh! Yes, yes. Of course. Every day there’s a new page.”

Saint Peter deflated at that, so you decided to stop being a tease and moved against his crotch. He opened his mouth to ask you what you were doing, but you tossed your head back onto his shoulder, carding a hand through his hair and bringing him in for a kiss. You swallowed the surprised gasp that escaped Peter’s throat, including his shame as you ruined his favorite robes with your juices.