#🪐 —– the heavens created an angel just for me

[bitchcorpse]

i don’t want just love, i want obsession.

whenever i pitch a fit or have to leave, practically beg and wail for me to stay. tell me i can’t leave because you need me so bad. hug my leg like an abandoned dog and plead until you eventually get your way.

get jealous over the littlest things. ask me everyday who i’ve spoken to and what we talked about. tell me you hate whoever it was i was speaking with, it doesn’t really matter who they were. after all, i’ve got you, right?

demand i say i love you, say you can’t live without my affections and need constant reaffirming. beg me for those three special words, cry when i won’t kiss you, and constantly threaten me whenever i try and make you purposefully jealous.

i want you, any of you, to feel the same way that i do. i want to feel so loved that i’m practically drowning in affection.

[koumeowkami]

🪐 no celestial ; kanallen

— chapter six

"Kanata was a poor little angel that heaven couldn't help. He'd always been a tough one, not trusting anyone but his little brother Nayuta, the only person that ever made him feel love. Growing up by themselves, he did everything in his power to protect his sick brother, things that dirtied his holy hands. "It's for a good cause though", he thought. But it wasn't enough, and Nayuta died soon after.

Kanata's soul was completely spent. He became unable to feel love, and adding to his dirty dealings that soon were found out, he got cast out of heaven. Fallen on Earth with his wings blackened, he felt so lost and empty he thought he could've just died.

But a random encounter with a very annoying, persistent, stupid redhead human boy would've made him discover love again."

2268 words

genre: supernatural, hurt/comfort, angst

warnings: none

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Weeks kept going by, as Kanata was slowly getting accustomed to the hectic life of the city. He was learning how things worked there, how humans worked. As he wasn't used to being around people to begin with, living with Suzaku and his friends had never seemed to be appealing to him: actually, it felt absolutely atrocious in the first few days. They were noisy, annoying, and the redhead's friends were constantly nagging the boy to do the dishes, clean his room and stuff like that; although he absolutely hated them for never being quiet, he had to agree his current roommate's bedroom was a literal mess, as there were clothes and records scattered everywhere and his bed was never tidied up, the redhead always in front of that glowing screen making music.

Sometimes he also joined him, creating his own pieces of art coming from his broken heart, thinking that could've helped him ease the pain, at least a little bit. He still thought he deserved to die, but that boy was preventing him to do that without even realizing it: Kanata didn't understand why he wanted to take care of him so bad, always trying to look through him with those red eyes burning with passion, with life. The angel just thought he pitied him like everyone else would and he hated it, but still... his heart was getting warmer and warmer each day, to the point it hurt, beating so loud in his chest that he could hear it in his own ears; he always had to put his hand on it to shut it up.

Thankfully, the trio wasn't always home, as they were busy with their studies and their Hip-hop career: whenever one of those days came, Kanata would just spend his time chilling on the bed, looking at the ceiling and reminiscing about good memories with Nayuta; when the thoughts would start getting grim, he'd just compose music by himself, letting himself and his unspoken words free through the notes. He never really thought about going out, almost considering that apartment like some safe haven, and they wouldn't let him go take a walk by himself anyways, since he didn't know where to go.

Until one afternoon.

Kanata really thought he needed some fresh air, being the little stray cat he was: he felt safe in there, but suffocated. Those humans probably underestimated him, who had wandered through the streets ever since he was small. He put his sneakers on and left with soft steps.

The streets weren't particularly crowded there, as it was mostly a residential area with just a few convenience stores here and there. He sighed softly, enjoying the breeze and silence under the setting sun, while sipping on a cheap drink he had bought with the pocket money the trio gave him. He had said multiple times he didn't want that, already grateful enough they gave him a roof to live under, but they were just too stubborn and handed him some anyways. Just in case.

"Ugh, these rich snots... they just keep treating me like a kid" he said to himself, while crushing the can with his hand.

He walked around for a while, until he stopped by an almost empty square, finding it the perfect place to rest before going home. He noticed a group of boys not too far from him hanging out but he didn't care about them, sitting on the opposite side and closing his eyes to enjoy the quietude.

Only for a while.

"Hey, little bastard over there! Ya hear me?"

Fucking hell. He knew something was going to go wrong. He just opened one eye, looking towards the little gang with no interest whatsoever for a mere second, then closing it again.

"What, are you deaf?! I'm talkin' to you!" Kanata felt one of the guys, probably the leader, coming towards him. He sighed, already pissed off that someone was bothering him on such a nice day. He fully turned to him, looking at him straight in the eye while still sitting: "What."

The thugs laughed upon that question, trying to intimidate him. "Don't ya know this is our place? You're not invited. Get the fuck outta here" the leader spoke again, acting all high and mighty. The way they were trying to scare him away was annoying Kanata so much. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into, but he still did his best to keep his calm and avoid sending them flying. It wasn't worth it.

"Tsk... annoyin'."

Rolling his eyes, he got up. He wasn't planning to back off, having gotten himself into these kinds of situations many times before, in Heaven. He wasn't scared of them at all, no matter how tall and big they were.

"Ya wanna get your pretty face smashed?" the leader snickers, cracking his knuckles, "You're gonna get really hurt... weakling."

That single word grinded Kanata's gears, as he remembered all the abuse, all the pain he and his brother had received during their childhood from those shitty adults who only cared about showing them who was more powerful between them. "Don't you... fuckin' call me that..." he eyed the gang with an icy cold stare, growling and slowly making a fist, ready to punch that fucker. He was trying so hard to keep his anger at bay, but he felt his sanity go away more and more. His mind told him to stop, but his heart... his heart only saw red.

"Aw, Shortie is gonna cry! So cute!" the gang said, mocking him. They got closer and closer, eventually enclosing themselves around him. This was too much. Kanata suddenly felt something rising from deep inside of him, a weird energy fueling his feelings. He was so close to snapping, when his demeanor suddenly changed.

"Y'all better not want to fuck with me."

A voice octaves lower than his usual left his mouth, his once moonlight and galaxy colored hair and eyes were completely black, and a shadow of his black wings was visible on the ground. He had no idea what was going on but he didn't stop, he couldn't resist that. The snake had spilled its venom right into his veins and it felt so damn good.

The thugs immediately backed out as their faces turned pale from the panic. They ran away, muffled curses and screaming heard in the background. By the time the sun was entirely set, Kanata was back to normal, panting hard. He wanted to make sense of what came over him, but he couldn't think at all: he was feeling exhausted and his head was spinning, his body feeling almost feverish. He fainted, falling on the ground of that now deserted square.

"Aaah, I finally got it! This limited edition record was so hard to find!!" Allen was excitedly running down the streets, over the moon after yet another too pricey purchase. He was probably being a bit too hyper about it and people were definitely side-eyeing him but he didn't care, as he hugged the vinyl close to his chest. "Anne and Hajun are getting home later today, so I'll be listening to it with Kanata... I'm so excited about it! He's gonna love it!" he said, immediately smiling at the thought. He was a tough and unfriendly guy, but Allen was so happy to see him getting more and more passionate about Hip-hop every day: he knew about the healing powers of music, and Kanata did seem more peaceful when making music, or simply listening to it. He was glad he could help that boy, even if he still didn't know what happened to him to get to that point; Allen really wanted to know, but he'd be waiting for the other to speak up. He was doing his best to turn into a reliable and trustworthy friend for him, simply showing him that he was ready to listen.

Too immersed into his own thoughts, he didn't realize he took a different route, ending up in a place so emptied of people that almost looked abandoned. He looked around for a bit, trying to recognize where he was, until he saw a familiar boy laying on the ground slightly far from him. White long locks and a snake decorated jacket. He dropped his bag.

"Kanata!!"

Panting, Allen finally reached their apartment with the boy in his arms. He had already checked if his heart was beating, but he just couldn't calm down: he wondered what happened, for how long he'd been laying there like that. He carefully placed him on the couch and took a chair to sit next to him. He couldn't leave him alone, his mind occupied by any possible bad thought about this entire situation. He touched Kanata's forehead and it was burning hot, compared to how cold his body is usually. "Does he have a fever...?" he mumbled, preparing a wet cloth to place there and then he just sat, waiting.

Anxiety was devouring him more each second that passed, until he saw the boy's body trembling. He tossed and turned, groaning in pain. Allen was getting even more worried when he noticed a weird dark glow around Kanata, who was now blabbering frantically.

"I wish... I could be as pure as you were..."

The redhead rubbed his eyes, wondering if this was real, but he was left even more confused when he came to the conclusion that it was really happening. He didn't move one inch from there, though. He wasn't afraid of him.

"Who are you, Kanata...?"

With a gasp, Kanata opened his eyes again, seemingly back to normal. He immediately sat, scanning his surroundings and finding the other boy giving him a small, reassuring smile, although at the same time he looked like he really wanted, no, needed answers. He couldn't even look at him anymore, as a part of him felt guilty for not telling him sooner. What was he even going to say, now? Suzaku was a mere human. He would've never accepted that he was a celestial creature, right? He looked at his lap in thought, still avoiding those fire colored eyes.

"I'm not gonna ask what happened" the other guy started, his voice soft, "but just know that I'm here and I'm ready to listen to you, your story... anything."

Kanata felt horrible. He really had to come clean, no matter the outcome; he knew he'd be back to being alone in the streets right after this conversation, but he thought he couldn't lie to the redhead. He'd been too good to the angel. Maybe it was for the better, he pondered: after that, he'd finally be able to die as he originally had planned. So he took a deep breath, turning to the guy, looking at him straight in the eye.

"I... I'm a fallen angel."

Black wings appeared behind him, big and majestic. Suzaku was shocked, but still stood there, not looking intimidated at all. Instead, he got closer to him, looking at him in adoration.

"You're so pretty..." the redhead whispered to him, and Kanata felt his stare falter, dropping his gaze somewhere else as he blushed. The wings disappeared. His heart was a mess, again feeling like a bomb about to explode. That guy always managed to make things more complicated, as Kanata kept feeling things in his chest that both hurt and made him feel good.

"You... you should be scared of me..." the angel said, getting up from the couch and moving away from him to try to hide himself from the other boy, "I'm not some stupid human! How can you act like this is okay?!"

He saw Suzaku looking at him with a soft gaze as he smiled, "Man, this sure is new to me" he said as he also got up and reached the angel, "But I'm not afraid of you... I know you're not evil so I don't have to worry."

"You're unbelievably foolish." Kanata replied, astounded by how stupid and accepting the other was. He knew at this point he couldn't do anything to intimidate that guy anymore, as he really had no ill intentions after all. He just audibly sighed.

"I'm fallen, ya hear me? I can fuck you up."

"I'll keep that in mind, then."

The guy let out an awkward laugh, scratching the back of his head. And then, he suddenly got serious, looking at Kanata with a worried expression.

"Um, Kanata..." he took a breath before continuing, "Back when you were dreaming, it seemed like... you were in an unimaginable amount of pain. The same pain I felt in the first song you made. I wonder if I can help you..."

"There's nothin' a human like you can fix." Kanata stopped him, not wanting to hear a single word more. He knew that warmth spreading in his chest when he was with the redhead was only temporary. That boy couldn't fix such a damaged heart.

The other muttered a "I'm sorry" before going back to his usual self. But before Suzaku was able to speak again, a black smoke with hints of orange appeared in a dark corner of the living room, floating. As the two boys turned around, a voice crept in.

"Oh boy, what kinda mess are you causin' over here?~"

Kanata's eyes widened. He knew that voice too well. That demon had been helping the twins a long time ago, he didn't really think he would get to hear nor see him ever again.

"Suiseki-san... what are you doing here?"

[bitchcorpse]

My sign-offs.

a —–- 💉.

m —–- 🔪.

m —–- 🎀.

m —–- 🩰.

m —–- 🍬.

r —–- 🌀.

s —–- ❔.

Sign-offs about him:

a —–- 🔥.

c —–- 🩸.

e —–- 🩻.

h —–- 🪐.

k —–- 🧪.

m —–- 🏍.

s —–- 🎩.

s —–- 💤.