#Spidermen all have fat asses because they wall crawl. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mechazushi · 4 months ago

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Don't ask how my brain came up with this...

Kafka as Spiderman and Hoshina as J. Jonah. Jameson and they're in a secret relationship with Hoshina knowing who Spiderman is. Which leads to a whole different interpretation of menace.

Hoshina: That Kaijuman is a menace!

Kafka(as Kaijuman and outside Hoshina's office window.): You're just mad because I made you cum first last night!

Hoshina: *whips around and tries to launch a coffee mug through the open window at his Kaiju/spider lover* *Kafka catches it and webs it to the high ceiling of his office, just out of reach before he swings away.*

Hoshina: KAIJUMAAAAN!

#kaiju no. 8 #kafka hibino #soshiro hoshina #kafhoshi #kaiju no 8 #i'll add some funnier tags later.#need to make food and leave.#okay I back.#Now that I've thought about it. It would make more sense for Hoshina to be Spiderman and Kafka to be JJJ because of their personality...#but let me provide a piece of persuasion to my side...#Kafka.... with a Spiderman canon level FAT ASS.#its true #look it up #Spidermen all have fat asses because they wall crawl.#Also I just jumped to Kafka being spiderman because of the whole Kaiju thing.#But I would also be down for a purple; sword welding; wisecracking Hoshina Spiderman variant #Like a JJJ meets Headline moment.#(Headline is JJJ as Spiderman if some of you weren't aware of that)#I like to think that Kafka would be considered an anomaly in Spider verse because of his suit.#I picture it looking like a spider suit #but it acts like a mix between his normal transformation and a version of Venom.#Its not sentient like Venom but it can become partially sentient if he comes under extreme duress (Like he fights Isao again)#Kafka gains his powers SWALLOWING the spider.#and it was the same size as the mini Kaiju that turned him.#He's now a version of Spiderman that's now terrified of spiders.#last thought #Has there been any version of Spider Man that had a romantic relationship with their reality's version of Jonah Jameson?

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