#Spencer you’re not awake I need you to be awake I’m going crazy I | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fortheloveofwonderland · 3 years ago

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Speakeasy To Me | S.R

New Series 90 Days is coming soon, just needed to get this out my drafts.

Summary - You’ve been lost for nearly as long as you can remember jumping from year to year, time to time. You never stay for long, and you can’t control when or where you’ll land. One day after being thrown from Ancient Greece to America in the roaring 20’s you find yourself stuck. You’re unsure what has changed or how long it will last. Then you meet Spencer. Weeks turn into months he tells you he loves you and you realise for the first time you’re in love. This must be why you were lost in time: you were looking for him all along. You fall asleep in his arms, when you wake up your in 1780s France. You don’t know how but you know you have to make it back to Spencer whatever the cost.

A/N - mostly set in 1920’s, some language of the time used, see end of fic of definitions. I had 90% of this written for the longest time and finally forced myself to finish it, yay me!

Pairing - Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - angst, fluff, mild smut (NSFW minor DNI)

Content Warnings - gun fire, illegal drinking, some possible historical inaccuracies, mild mentions of penetrative sex, angst.

Word Count - 9.5k

Masterlist

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Stifling heat and a perpetual dryness in your throat had become your new norm as of late. Even in your light peplos, the long linen tunic made for you by one of the women in the village, the heat was unbearable.

You wondered how the people of Athens ever got used to this. But you also supposed they’d been born and raised in this climate, you had not. You’d grown accustomed to the rainy climbs of Northern England over the past three or four weeks? You weren’t sure exactly how long it had been.

That was the biggest and most ironic problem you found being a time traveller: you had absolutely no sense of time anymore.

You were born in the United States in the nineteen nineties. It all seemed such a long, long time ago now.

Your life had been without incident right up until the eve of your eighteenth birthday. You’d gone to bed as normal, awaking the following morning filled with excitement about your pending birthday celebrations only to find you were not in your own bed. You weren’t in your own house.

You weren’t even in the states.

After some investigation you discovered the year was 765 BC, and you found yourself in the newly founded city of Rome. All you’d had were the clothes on your back (a similar style tunic to the one you were now in Athens) and a letter under your pillow in your mothers distinctive handwriting.

Y/N,

I have been dreading this day for years and now it has finally come and I still don’t feel fully prepared. You’re going to be confused and have a lot of questions I won’t be there to answer. But I will try my best to explain.

A handful of people throughout history have been born time travellers and you, my dear are one of them. We found out when you were very young but we’re sworn to secrecy. You have no idea how many times I wished to tell you.

There’s no telling where or when you will wake up on your eighteenth birthday but I pray it’s somewhere safe. There is also no telling when or if I will ever see you again. There have been so few travellers of time that it’s an unpredictable art. Some souls are born to find themselves lost in time and sadly you were one of those few.

No one knows why or how these people wander through time and place. Hopefully one day you will be able to find more answers than I have these past eighteen years.

I’m sorry I can’t shed more light on this situation but that is the extent of my knowledge. Just know your father and I love you so, so much and I hope to god that one day, our paths will cross again.

I love you my sweetheart. Stay safe. Try to live this crazy life to the fullest. One day, may we meet again.

All my love,

Mom xoxo

It all felt like some kind of elaborate, crazy joke. You’d never in your life heard of time travellers, not outside of fiction anyway.

But years passed and as promised in your mothers letter, you jumped from year to year, place to place without rhyme or reason. You never stay in one place for long, and you can’t control when or where you’ll end up. It had been almost ten years of this and by now you'd just accepted that this was your life, no matter how strange it was.

You knew your time in ancient Greece was coming to an end and you were so glad for that. Women in Greece were treated no better than slaves and you were a prisoner in your home, counting down the days until you awoke in another plane of existence.

As if right on cue, the following morning you awoke in a new place and time. Thank god, was your first thought as you rolled out of bed. Anywhere had to be better than where you’d come from.

For a time there had been excitement in waking up somewhere new. After the initial confusion let up and you resided yourself to this being your life you had actually quite enjoyed the unpredictable nature of it all.

You’d seen some of the most beautiful places all around the world over various stages of history. You had some amazing stories to tell, if only you had anyone to tell them to.

The loneliness of this lifestyle had taken its toll. You made friends wherever you went, you had to survive somehow. But of course they could never last, you always had to keep people at arms length.

You never forged romantic relationships, what was the point? There was no need to break your own heart and the heart of some unwitting person when you suddenly vanished in the middle of the night.

It was an incredibly lonely existence. What you wouldn’t give to meet someone and settle down, start a family and be truly happy, probably for the first time in your life.

But it was too much to hope for, and so you didn’t. You’d given up on the idea of a happy ever after long ago.

Until you found yourself transported to the year nineteen twenty one, in Washington DC and you met him.

***

Finding yourself back in the states was a blessing for you. It had been some six years since you’d found your way back here. Maybe you could find your way to cross paths with your grandmother in her hay day?

There were possibilities here. It was the closest you’d felt to being home in almost ten years.

You were a teacher in this incarnation, your best gal pals were fellow teachers Elizabeth and Ruth. You shed a brief thought to what happened to these people after your sudden departure but knew it was dangerous territory to think too much on such things.

Prohibition was in full swing. The eighteenth amendment banned the manufacture, transportation and sale of intoxicating liquors, leaving a bitter taste in the mouths of many.

It should have been a time for celebration, prosperity was on the rise and just last year women had finally been granted the right to vote.

But with prohibition came the rise in organised crime which left common folk feeling uneasy.

That afternoon the three of you hurried out of the school, chatting and giggling between you, no better than the kids you taught.

As you reached the curb in front of the school and went to go your separate ways, Ruth ushered you both close, a secret on her lips you could tell.

“I overheard a bull session in the lounge earlier.” She spoke in hushed tones, a coy smile on her lips.

“You ought to be careful with all that eavesdropping you do Ruthie. Your ears will burn off.” Elizabeth chided her playfully.

“What did you hear?” You probed, not wanting to miss out on gossip.

“Loose goose.” She whispered even more quietly this time.

You and Elizabeth shared a confused look before turning your attention back on Ruth.

“Loose goose?” You frowned, speaking a little louder than you’d meant to which garnered a light slap on the arm from Ruth.

“Shush Y/N!” She scolded you, rather more aggressively than you thought necessary.

She motioned the two of you even closer despite the fact you were uncomfortably close to begin with.

“They were talking about one of those blind pigs.” her voice was so low now you were having to read her lips to know what she was saying but you suddenly realised why.

A blind pig was another name for one of the illegal speakeasies that had popped up in basements, attics and other secretive places across the country in the wake of the prohibition. Mostly run by members of organised crime syndicates, they were hubs for bootleg liquor, places men and women alike were welcomed into the shadows to drink away their sorrows or party until the sun came up.

You knew of them, although you’d only spent a few days in this era, you’d heard the talk. You knew they were hard to find, even harder to get into. The speakeasies were named as such for how low you had to speak a password to be granted access.

Loose goose.

“The password.” you breathed. “Loose goose.”

“Shush!” Ruth and Elizabeth spoke in unison, silencing you instantly.

“Don’t blow this for us, Y/N.” Elizabeth nudged you.

“Yeah, don’t be a bluenose.” Ruth added with a roll of her eyes.

“I am not being a bluenose.” Did she just call you a prude? “Aren’t those places filled with dope peddlers and the like?”

“Jeez Y/N, lighten up.” Elizabeth scoffed. “It isn’t illegal to consume giggle juice.”

“But it is illegal to purchase it. Which we would have to do in order to drink it.” You put your hands on your hips, unsure why exactly you were protesting this.

The worst that could happen would be you’d get thrown in the slammer. But chances were you wouldn’t be in there long before you woke up elsewhere anyway, so what did it really matter?

“We’ll I’m going.” Ruth folded her arms in defiance.

“Me too.” Elizabeth mirrored her.

This time next week I could be in ancient Egypt or caught in the middle of World War II, it’s not the end of the world, Y/N, you tried to reassure yourself.

Don’t make a buzz, don’t ruffle feathers. Your one rule you had was to get in and out of each time and place without causing a commotion.

You huffed a little, trying to seem as though you weren’t happy about the situation as it would look hinky if you changed your tune so quickly without argument.

“Fine.” You grumbled. “But if I end up in the clink because of you gals…” you trailed off.

“You won’t regret it!” Elizabeth cheered.

Ruth beamed at you both as she kissed your cheek and then Elizabeth’s.

“Get your glad rags on girlies. We’re hitting the town.”

***

Spencer Reid exhaled a heavy breath as he removed his fedora and placed it on the oak top bar.

He stretched out his long limbs as his coworker sidled up beside, giving him a playful prod in the ribs as he did so.

“Hey!” Spencer’s voice pitched about ten octaves out of pure shock. “Can’t a guy stretch in peace?”

Luke Alvez gave him his trademark smile and simple shrug in response.

The two had become fast friends when Spencer had started working at the factory a few weeks ago, despite their differences. Luke was a self proclaimed drugstore cowboy, always on the prowl for dames, although Spencer thought he was secretly sweet on Penelope, the slightly screwy gal who delivered lunches to the factory workers.

Spencer was the furthest thing from a ladies man imaginable. He was an introvert, smart well beyond his menial job and his giant brain forced him to overthink everything.

Especially the fairer sex.

Spencer snapped out of his self deprecating thoughts when Luke shook him by the shoulder.

“Reid?” He laughed. “Where’d you go fella?”

“Nowhere, sorry. What were you saying?”

Luke gave him an amused look, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

“You’re too smart for this world.”

Don’t I know it, Spencer thought. His brain would be much more suited for a job involving test tubes or analysis of some kind. He wasn’t equipped for factory work which often involved an element of manual handling which his slim frame was just not cut out for.

But such is life, Spencer thought. It wouldn’t be forever.

“What are you drinking?” Spencer asked his friend, trying to change the subject.

“Make mine a gin rickey.” Alvez patted him on the shoulder, his eyes wandering across the room as he spoke.

Spencer followed his gaze towards the door of the speakeasy. The lighting in the joint was low and the music soft. A woman sang in dulcet tones accompanied by a quartet. It was nestled behind a soda shop, through the back office, access to which was only granted with a password to stop the coppers finding them.

Rossi’s place was a favourite of Luke’s and he always insisted on coming here, although it left a lot to be desired, Spencer thought.

Despite the low lighting, Spencer knew exactly what had caught his friend’s attention.

The buxom blonde lit up Alvez’s eyes as she stepped in and Spencer had to wonder why he never made a move on Penelope when he was clearly carrying a giant torch for her.

She wore a black flapper dress that hugged and cinched every single one of her voluptuous curves and Spencer watched the way his friends' eyes trailed up and down her figure.

Alvez was practically drooling as she sauntered inside on her kitten heels, eyeing every man in the bar in turn.

When her eyes finally landed on Alvez’s, her bright red lips turned up into a smile she seemed to reserve only for him. She brought the cigarette holder that was dangling between her gloved fingers to her lips and sucked on it, never taking her eyes off of him.

“Goddamn.” Luke hissed a little as he spoke, his shoulders deflating.

Spencer didn’t speak as he wasn’t even sure Luke had meant to say that outloud.

Just as Spencer was about to turn away and order them a couple of gin rickey’s, the door opened behind Penelope and three young dames walked in.

Spencer barely registered the two on the outside, his eyes landing straight on the sheba in the middle.

She wore a floor length flapper dress, teal in colour and covered in sequins which sparkled when the light hit them. She had elbow length gloves matching her dress in colour. A feather was tucked into her hair and she toyed with a long pearl necklace hanging around her neck.

Her eyes were about the most beautiful pair Spencer had ever laid eyes on and the shy smile playing on her lips were sending shivers down his spine.

In all his life, Spencer Reid had never been floored by a broad in such a way. Of course he noticed a beautiful woman if one were to cross his path, but it wasn’t often Spencer acted on his attraction. And this was the closet he’d come to acting on it in a long time.

Admittedly, Spencer was probably touch starved. Despite his aversion to physical contact due to his germaphobic nature, Spencer longed for the touch of a woman just as much as the next guy.

But it wasn’t as easy for him as it was for most. Spencer longed for a connection with someone, he wasn’t a casual hook up type of man. But the catch twenty two with that was that Spencer couldn’t commit himself to someone, no matter how much he might want to.

It was something that was beyond his control. She was most certainly the cat's meow; the bee's knees. He had to know her but he also knew that wasn’t an option.

He unbuttoned his suit jacket, still not tearing his eyes away from her for a second, and smoothed down his matching sweater vest before fiddling with his tie.

He hadn’t even noticed that Alvez’s attention had been cast away from Penelope and he was now looking at the bewildered expression on Spencer’s face.

“Someone’s smitten.” Alvez’s voice cut through Spencer’s thoughts and the young genius’ head snapped around to look at his companion.

“Applesauce.” Spencer scoffed, turning his back on the young dame entirely and placing his hands heavily on the bar.

He caught Rossi’s attention with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Two sidecars.” He told the aging bartender, who was more than likely a gangster of some description.

“One sidecar. One gin rickey.” Alvez corrected him.

Spencer felt sweat gathering around his shirt collar so he pulled at his tie a little to loosen it. He tried to ignore Luke’s eyes, still staring at him.

“Everything ok with the kid?” Rossi called to Luke as he made up their drinks.

“He’s got his eyes on-“

“Everything’s Jake.” Spencer cut Luke off before he could finish his trail of thought.

Rossi brought the drinks back over to them with an amused smile on his lips.

“Oh he’s keen on someone, alright.” Rossi placed their drinks in front of them and Luke threw down some bills.

“I’m sure I don’t know what either of you are talking about.” Spencer picked up his drink and took a large sip that contradicted his words.

Alvez and Rossi exchanged amused glances.

“In that case I’m sure it won’t ruffle your tail feathers to know she’s right beside you.” Alvez smirked.

The noise that left Spencer’s lips could be best described as a squawk and he physically jumped as he turned to look over his shoulder.

He heard Alvez and Rossi burst into fits of laughter behind him but they hadn’t been wrong.

There she was in all her glory, barely a few feet away from him being handed a mint julep by another bartender Spencer knew as JJ.

“Smooth, Reid.” Alvez slapped him on the back, causing him to jump again.

And that’s when she turned and her eyes met his. And Spencer Reid fell head over heels.

***

The speakeasy was abuzz with excitement. The atmosphere was electric, you could feel it pulsing through you as you entered through the office in the soda shop after Ruth had whispered the password to a man with fewer teeth than hair.

The second you stepped inside, you felt a part of something bigger than yourself. Something almost magical was in the air but you wouldn’t know what just yet.

Not until you were standing at the bar being handed your mint julep by a pretty, petite blonde and all of a sudden a movement to your left caught your attention.

As soon as your eyes found his hazel ones, the world outside of the two of you ceased to exist. The sound of a woman on stage singing soft jazz music that had been tickling your eardrums faded away, replaced by the sound of your own heart beating.

Ruth and Elizabeth dissipated from your peripheral vision, as did the bartender and the other people in the vicinity.

Suddenly it was only him, just large expressive eyes and a mop of unruly hair. He was tall, much taller than you that much you could tell from a few feet away. He was slim and wore an extremely well tailored three piece brown check Herringbone suit.

You were snapped back to reality by the sound of Elizabeth and Ruth giggling like school girls and Elizabeth’s elbow to your arm jolted you back into the room.

You tore your eyes off the stranger and looked at your friends who were still giggling wildly.

Ruth’s gaze shifted past you and onto another man you hadn’t even noticed until now.

“Do we need to make the introductions?” The other man spoke to Ruth with a smile.

“It would appear that way.” She laughed, patting you on the arm. “Go on, I’m sure he doesn’t bite.”

You felt your cheeks burn and you were sure your whole face was tinted a dark shade of red.

Your eyes found him again and his lip turned up at one side in a shy, lopsided smile.

“Would you uhm…would you care to dance?” His voice was like honey as it floated on the air and found its way to your ears.

He was holding his hand out for you to take. He looked a little bashful himself but you thought it was just about the most precious thing you’d ever seen.

You took a sip of your drink for some liquid courage before placing the glass on the bar and taking a few tentative steps toward the handsome stranger.

When your hand slid into his much larger one, you felt a spark between your palms and your eyes met his again, searching to see if he felt it too.

You saw his breath catch in his throat and you knew he had.

His hand engulfed yours in a magnificently comforting way as he led you to the middle of the small longue where a few people were already dancing.

You looked at each slightly awkwardly, neither of you sure how close it was appropriate to get to one another. Of course you were dancing so you had to be in reasonable proximity to each other but you were still strangers.

He tugged you gently closer by your hand and rested his other hand on your hip. You placed your free hand stiffly on his shoulder, keeping your body far enough away so as not to touch him anymore.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to, honestly you couldn’t think of much else better than to be cocooned in this stranger's arms. But that was why you had to exercise caution. Never get too close, physically or emotionally.

But the way he was looking down on you as he swayed you both to the live music made you feel as though you could fall there and then.

And you wouldn’t have a single regret.

You kept eye contact as you moved together, every now and again exchanging shy smiles.

After a few songs, he bowed his head a little closer to your ear and you felt your heart beat reflect his closeness.

“I’m Spencer by the way. Spencer Reid.”

His breath caressed the side of your face and your eyes fluttered closed briefly, revelling in that feeling.

“Y/N,” you said, your voice slightly breathy. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

He gave you a smile of appreciation and naturally the two of you moved closer to one another, but not so close as to be flush against each other.

He moved you around with ease and you happily let him take the lead. You were lost in a pool of hazel that were his eyes.

“What do you do?” He asked with a smile that told you he was genuinely interested.

“I’m a teacher. Elementary school.”

His eyes lit up at that and whether he meant to or not, he moved in closer to you, your bodies now inches apart.

“That’s so admirable.” His hand that was on your hip snaked around and came to a stop on your lower back.

You felt yourself blushing. It wasn’t as though you’d had a choice in your career, just like you never did when you ended up somewhere new. But you obviously couldn’t tell him that.

“Thank you.” You felt like an imposter so you decided to change the subject. “What do you do?”

“I just work in the local factory. Nothing interesting.” He averted his gaze as though he were embarrassed but you weren’t sure why, it was a common occupation in these times.

When his eyes met yours again you saw the embarrassment in them, but you also saw something else, something you couldn’t quite place.

“I’m sure it has its moments.” You replied with what you hoped was a reassuring smile.

You weren’t sure which one of you had moved closer to the other, maybe it was both of you, but now you were flush against each other’s chests.

Spencer’s hold on you had tightened and you were so close you could feel his warm breath on your face.

“I hope I’m not speaking out of turn,” he started, chewing on his bottom lip. “But I have to say, you are beautiful. So much more than beautiful, I’m not sure there is even a word for it.”

Your cheeks burned and your heart soared simultaneously. You felt like you’d been waiting a thousand lifetimes to feel like this and have someone feel the same about you.

It was all you’d ever wanted. To find someone to look at you the way Spencer was looking at you now. It was just about the best feeling in the whole world.

But with it came trepidation. You could wake up tomorrow a hundred years from here and you would just be a distant memory to Spencer. Just a woman he’d shared a dance with and nothing more.

It shouldn’t be anything more. It really couldn’t be anything more. But your heart was already invested from the moment you’d laid eyes on him. And in a battle of your head and your heart, your heart was most likely going to win.

You knew a moment or two before he went to kiss you that he was going to kiss you. And you knew it was a bad idea. You knew as soon as Spencer’s lips touched yours you would be hooked. And you were not in a position to fall for someone.

But regardless you watched as his eyes fluttered closed and his face inched closer to yours. You found your own eyes closing out of instinct, the worry and fear seeping out of you the closer his lips got to your own.

The warmth that spread through you as the gap between you got smaller was like nothing you’d ever felt before.

You were like two magnets being pulled together and you weren’t strong enough to stop it from happening.

But divine intervention was something else.

Maybe it was fate that intervened or maybe it was simple coincidence, you’d never know. But mere seconds before Spencer’s lips touched your own there was a loud crash followed by an even louder, aggressive voice.

“Everybody hands where I can see them!”

You jolted away from Spencer as though you had just put your hand too close to a fire.

Both of your attentions were turned towards the door that was now hanging precariously on its hinges and the two cops who had bust it down.

Their firearms were drawn, honed in on the man behind the illegal bar.

You swallowed around a giant lump in your throat. Was this it? Was this how you died? Before you’d even gotten the chance to feel Spencer’s kiss?

In the blink of an eye, the bar's owner, Rossi, drew his own gun and after that everything moved at lightning speed.

The sound of a gun firing damn near deafened you but you didn’t have a chance to work out if it was Rossi’s or one of the cops who pulled the trigger.

You were frozen in place but fortunately, Spencer wasn’t. His hand clasped around your wrist and you found yourself being dragged away from the line of fire just as another bullet whizzed right passed your face.

An involuntary scream left your lips as Spencer continued to drag you by your wrist.

You heard more gunfire in quick succession accompanied by womens screams that you were pretty certain weren’t yours this time and the smashing of glasses.

And then you felt cool air on your face. You blinked a few times, trying to comprehend it.

Spencer had somehow pulled you into a back alley and the air you felt was the soft breeze caressing your face. Then you felt Spencer’s large hands on your cheeks as he gently wiped the pads of his thumbs under your eyes. It was only then you realised you were crying.

“You…you saved my life.” You stuttered, staring deep into his eyes.

He shrugged as though it was nothing, like he did this kind of thing all the time.

“Are you ok?”

Suddenly, you were ok. You were more than ok in fact. Looking into his beautiful hazel eyes, you were more ok than you’d ever been.

You’d been scared to get close to someone your whole life because you knew it would inevitably end with your disappearance. But you’d come this close to being shot in the face today. And suddenly nothing else but Spencer mattered.

You grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him back against the wall in the narrow alleyway. And you didn’t hesitate in almost forcibly crashing your lips against his.

Spencer seemed startled by your forwardness, women of this day weren’t so ballsy. But he soon relaxed into you, parting his lips to deepen the kiss.

His hands found your face which he cupped with a delicacy you’d never experienced before. You pressed your body into him, needing to be as close as humanly possible to this man.

The kiss was more intense than anything you’d ever felt before. The two of you were so in sync it didn’t feel like a first kiss. It felt like it was a thousand lifetimes in the making.

Suddenly the sound of gunfire pierced the bubble you and Spencer had created and you leapt back from him panting, partly from the kiss and partly through fear.

“We need to get out of here.” He was panting too, chewing the bottom lip you'd just been kissing.

He took you by your hand and hurriedly ushered you down the alleyway and onto the street. But he didn’t stop there. He kept leading you god only knows where and you found you trusted him. You’d let him lead you anywhere.

After a few blocks, he came to a stop, using his free hand that wasn’t holding yours to gently brush a strand of hair from your face.

“Will you come back to my place? I need to know you’re safe.”

You smiled at him, feeling your heart soar.

“I can’t think of any place I’d rather be.”

***

Spencer’s apartment was about what you’d pictured it would be from the little you knew about him.

His perfectly pressed slacks and shirt and polished brown oxfords led you to assume his apartment would be no different and you’d been right. It was so neat it looked as if no one actually lived here, like it was all for show.

It was dimly lit and all the walls and furniture were dark shades of browns and greens.

Each jacket had its own peg on the coat rack by the door, every plant, every ornament had its own place.

Even the books on the coffee table were lined up perfectly, the largest on the bottom, the smallest on top.

He stood a little awkwardly, watching you as you took in your surroundings.

“So, uhm…” he chewed his lip. “This is it.”

You stopped your visual inspection and let your eyes land on him. You could tell instantly he wasn’t used to having company and it made him feel uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to leave?” You asked softly, hoping to god the answer wasn’t yes.

Because you didn’t want to leave. You felt safe here. You didn’t know what it was about this man but his presence made you feel calm for the first time in your crazy life. And you weren’t ready for that to end.

“What? No!” He shook his head frantically, clearly not wanting you to leave anymore than you wanted to leave. “Not in the slightest. It’s just…I rarely have company. Least of all such beautiful company.”

You felt yourself blushing as Spencer came closer to you. With each foot closer he got, the more your heart raced with anticipation.

“We just met.” He frowned, seemingly talking to himself and not you.

You took hold of his hands when he was close enough, knowing what he meant and what he was thinking.

“True.” You whispered. “But I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

You were giving him the green light, permission to do what you both so sorely needed him to do. He let go of one of your hands so he could cup your face. It felt so small and delicate in his large hand.

“Me too. But I’m not this kind of guy.” His voice was low and breathy and it was sending shivers down your spine. His body was flush against yours and you could feel a twitch in his groin.

“I’m not this kind of girl.”

A large smile broke out in his lips and it was just about the most magical thing you’d ever seen. His face edged closer to yours as his fingers caressed your cheek.

“What are we going to do then?”

Before you had a chance to respond he had captured your lips with his own. His other hand moved to your face and he held you close as your arms snaked around his neck, pulling him impossibly closer.

You felt him hardening against you and you moaned into his mouth, encouraging him to kiss you deeper still.

You managed to remove your gloves and dropped them to the floor. Your hands started to roam and found their way inside the shoulders of his suit jacket, pushing it backwards and down his arms.

He laughed into your lips before pulling back to unbutton the jacket, allowing you to push it off him entirely.

With deft fingers he removed the feather headdress from your hair, placing it behind you on a table by the door.

You were already working the buttons on his vest, thinking to yourself that men wore way too many layers in this era.

Once his vest was on the floor with his jacket he kissed you again while working on his tie and pulled back once more so he could get it over his head.

His suspenders were unfastened with haste and then he took your hands and placed them by the top button of his crisp white button down.

The look in his eyes was almost playful, daring you to undress him further. You never were one to shy away from a dare.

As you started working on the buttons, he kissed you harder than before, almost knocking you off your feet and certainly knocking the air from your lungs.

It didn’t take long before you’d gotten the buttons undone and then you were tugging the bottom of the shirt free from where it was tucked into his slacks.

He shrugged the shirt off, holding the back of your neck now as the kiss got deeper still.

You let your fingers flit across the warm skin of his shoulders and down his biceps. When you moved your hands to his bare chest you felt him shudder and little goosebumps prick his skin.

His hand moved from your neck, down your shoulder blades and came to a stop on the zipper of your dress.

He pulled away from your lips to look you in the eyes, silently questioning if it was ok to continue.

You smiled at him, giving him a nod of permission. Spencer exhaled his gratitude, as if worried you had changed your mind and now relieved you hadn’t.

He was cautious in his movements as he slowly tugged down the zipper. Once it was open, you freed your arms from the sleeves and let the material cascade down your body and onto the floor.

Spencer’s breath hitched as he looked you up and down with a combination of adoration and hunger. You were so thankful that this era had prioritised comfort in their lingerie choices and forgone the previous decades of corsets and girdles.

Your silk and lace teddy would be much easier to get out of in a hurry. It may not have been as sexy but the way Spencer was looking at you told you he thought it was.

“I am…in complete awe of you.” He whispered in hushed tones as though he wasn’t quite sure he wanted you to hear.

He moved closer to you and pressed his body against yours and you could feel how hard he was now.

You let him push you back against the front door with his hips as he kissed you feverently. One of his hands snaked into your hair while the other pressed against the door next to your head.

You were caged in by him but there was nowhere else you'd rather be. He was grinding against you and you needed to get this remaining fabric out of the way.

You found the button of her slacks and undid it with ease before sliding down his zipper.

His tongue explored your mouth with vigour as he let you slide the slacks over his hips and let him fall to the floor.

He stepped out of them without breaking the kiss. His hands moved under your teddy to the backs of your thighs. He tugged, you jumped and landed in his strong arms.

He didn’t stop kissing you for a moment as he carried you expertly through to the bedroom, somehow manoeuvring through the obstacles of furniture.

Before long you felt yourself being lowered and your lips parted as you felt his sheets beneath you. He knelt over you on the bed, gripping the hem of your lingerie like his life depended on it.

It was only now that you looked up at him that you noticed your lipstick smeared across his mouth and you wondered briefly if he realised.

The thought left your mind as quickly as it entered as he tugged a little on the teddy.

You gave him a smile and a nod and in an instant he was pulling the fabric up your body and over your head.

Spencer moaned viscerally once you were naked beneath him. This was not at all how he’d expected his night to go but it was the best kind of unexpected.

You reached for him, pawing at the last remaining article of clothing separating the two of you. He caught your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your knuckles.

“Please,” you found yourself whining, more than desperate to have him as naked as you were.

Your desperation made his dick throb and he moaned again. How could he deny such a request?

He hooked his fingers in the sides of his underwear and swiftly dragged them down his legs, freeing his aching member.

You let out an involuntary hiss as he discarded the underwear. Once you were both in an equal state of undress, Spencer laid down on top of you and kissed you once more.

The feeling of your skin touching unhindered was phenomenal. His hands explored your body as he kissed you, clearly wanting to commit every one of your curves to memory.

You ran your nails over his shoulder blades as his lips moved to your neck. Your hips were bucking to meet him in pure desperation to feel every part of him.

He cupped your breasts in his hands, tweaking your nipples between his long, slender fingers. It caused you to moan and rock beneath him.

He sat back to look at you with that playful smile again.

Your moans were the sweetest melody he’d ever heard and to be the one to cause such noises was turning him on more than he’d ever been.

You reached between your bodies and gripped the base of his shaft, causing him to moan into your neck.

You started stroking him slowly and seconds later one of his hands had descended your body and found solace between your legs.

You were drenched and he was already leaking onto your hand so foreplay didn’t last long.

When Spencer did enter you, it was as though all the stars aligned as you duetted your songs of pleasure.

He kept his eyes fixed on yours, placing gentle kisses on your lips ever so often. He was cautious with you, as though he thought you were made of glass.

He moved in and out of you in perfect rhythm and each time he buried himself all the way inside of you, you rewarded him with a delicious moan.

If Spencer could bottle one sound, it would be the sound of your moans.

Spencer looked at you like you hung the moon. In all his years on this Earth he’d never experienced true happiness, not like this.

You were everything he’d wished for his whole life. The way you felt, the way you tasted was electrifying.

Nothing made sense in Spencer’s life, except being here with you. This moment made more sense to him than anything ever had before. Like he’d found the meaning of life, the secret to the universe.

It all came down to you and this moment.

Neither of you were able to last long. You seemed to work each other’s bodies as though you’d known each other your whole life. You pushed each other’s buttons like this what you were put on Earth to do.

Spencer held you in his arms afterwards. Your bodies were slicked with sweat and you both fought to refill your lungs with air.

He kissed your forehead and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“You are the most sublime creature I have ever laid eyes on.” He whispered softly. “I’m not sure what this was for you…”

Your lips tugged at the corners. He was utterly adorable and you knew falling for him would be a pleasure and privilege. If only you could.

“What do you mean, Spencer?” You let your fingertips ghost over his bicep and you saw him shudder.

“I told you I’m not this kind of man. And even if I were, I certainly can’t be that kind of man with you.”

“What are you trying to say, Spencer?” You giggled a little.

“I am utterly infatuated with you already, my love. I never want to let you go.” He stroked your cheek and you felt your heart simultaneously melting and breaking.

Because you also never wanted Spencer to let you go. But that wasn’t something you had control over.

You forced a smile, not wanting to come across as hinky.

“Then don’t, Spencer.” You kissed him so he wouldn’t see the tears that had settled behind your eyes.

You didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. Or the next day. But for as long as you were here, in this time and place, you would belong to Spencer.

And even after you inevitably found yourself traversed through history, you would continue to belong to him.

Maybe this was what you’d been searching your whole life for? Maybe this is why you’d wandered for so long, in search of this man.

And if you woke up in another time and place tomorrow, at least you’d had tonight.

***

You and Spencer became instantly inseparable after the night at Rossi’s.

He had a renewed spring in his step which hadn’t gone unnoticed by Luke, something he loved to tease him about.

But Spencer didn’t care, Luke could razz him all he wanted. Spencer was smitten with his new squeeze and thankfully for him, the feeling seemed mutual.

You spent almost every night together, frequenting dance halls, skating rinks and movie theatres. After Rossi’s place was raided, at least five more speakeasies opened in its place and sometimes you’d join your friends and Spencer’s for drinks.

Every night you spent together ended between Spencer’s sheets. You knew your time here was limited and you wanted to make every second with him count.

But weeks turned into months and every morning you awoke in Spencer’s arms gave you hope.

Maybe this really was what you’d been searching for? Maybe you were thrown around from place to place and time to time in search of your soulmate.

And now you’d found him, perhaps this really was home?

You arrived back at Spencer’s place after dinner and you watched him as he undressed, fascinated by his every move.

Truth be told you were fascinated by everything he did. You found him so utterly riveting, whether he was spouting facts or simply taking off his tie.

He got undressed to his underwear, the whole time you were perched on the bed enraptured by him.

He moved closer to you, his moves slow and deliberate. He dropped to his knees and cushioned himself between your thighs, running his hands over your hips.

“These past few months have been the bees knees.” He smiled at you, taking hold of one of your hands and kissing the back of it.

You giggled, using your free hand to wrap around him and toy with the hair at the back of his neck.

“You’re the bee's knees, mister.”

“I am completely stuck on you, Y/N. That is to say, I am off the deep end in love with you.” He looked deep into your eyes awaiting your reaction.

Once again, you found your heart melted and shattered all at once. Hearing those words from his lips should have been the pinnacle of perfection.

But his words left you fearful. Because what if this wasn’t the end of your journey? What if you were swept away from it all one day, never to see Spencer again?

This was the longest you’d ever stayed put in one time and you had to have faith that this was where you were destined to stay. Because despite yourself, you loved Spencer too.

“Spencer Reid, I am unfathomably in love with you. And if anything should happen to me, I need you to know that I will always be in love with you.”

“What do you mean, my love?” He entwined his fingers with yours, a soft frown forming on his features.

“Nothing.” You shook your head. “Don’t mind me, I’m getting mushy. Let’s go to bed.”

Spencer kissed you and you fell back to the bed together. He made love to you and you felt all your fears and apprehension melt away.

You fell asleep in Spencer’s arms to the melody of Spencer’s heart beating beneath your ear.

You’d spent your whole life in the pursuit of happiness, only to find it in the arms of Spencer Reid.

***

You stifled a yawn as your eyes fluttered open the following morning. You stretched your arms above your head and rolled onto your side as you opened your eyes fully.

The fluffy hair usually found on your neighbouring pillow wasn’t there, nor were the intense brown eyes you’d grown so accustomed to.

Your heart was thudding against your rib cage as you sat up in the bed to inspect the room.

It was only seconds before tears were brimming in your eyes and a pit formed in your stomach.

Gone were Spencer’s dark wood nightstands. Gone were his floorboards and robe that hung on the back of the door.

And gone was Spencer himself.

The room was stark whites and pastels, a complete one eighty from the room you’d fallen asleep in.

You were situated in a plush four poster bed with thick downy sheets. There was an elaborate dressing table in the corner and floor to ceiling windows.

Your tears had started to fall before you even made it out of bed. A feeling of complete and utter anguish consumed you.

Spencer was gone. No, that wasn’t right, you were gone. Somewhere, sometime, Spencer would be waking up to an empty bed where last night he’d fallen asleep with the woman he loved.

He would find no note, he would find no clue as to where you’d gone. And he wouldn’t know it yet, but he would never see you again.

The pain encompassed you. You’d let yourself feel something for someone for the first time in your sorry existence. You’d let yourself be devoured by Spencer, only to have a finite amount of time with him.

You knew any amount of time would have been too short. But this seemed too cruel for words. You’d found the one person in this life that made your heartbeat faster. You’d found the holy grail, the kind of happiness people searched their whole life for.

And now it’s gone. And there was no way to get it back.

You would soon come to discover it was seventeen eighty nine and you were in the midst of the French Revolution. You’d only stay a few days before moving on.

The pain would never leave you. You’d carry it with you wherever you went, through time and place for the rest of your days.

You’d never let yourself love again. You’d left your heart in nineteen twenties America and there it would stay.

***

1830, England.

800 BC, Egypt.

1545, Poland.

1989, Russia.

1260, China.

1545, Poland.

1513, Italy.

1905, Japan.

The list went on and on. After a while you stopped keeping track. After long enough, it was all the same. Time or place didn't matter.

You spent years shifting about on autopilot. You went about your days whenever you might find yourself without making a buzz.

After you found yourself in seventeen hundreds France, nothing mattered to you anymore. Nothing mattered post Spencer Reid.

You didn’t care where or when you woke up. You got in, didn’t make a fuss and disappeared without a trace.

You carried the memory of Spencer with you everywhere you went. Every incarnation of yourself held recollections of the messy haired man who had opened your eyes and your heart.

You were numb to it all. People, places and faces; they were all just a blur. You weren’t really living, how could you?

What godforsaken luck that you had to be born into this life.

When you woke in a new bed you embraced it and went about your day. You dressed in the clothes found in your closet and made your way to your job.

You slotted into your assigned life like the good little time traveller you were.

Don’t make a buzz, don’t ruffle feathers.

Maybe one day you’d find it in you to care again.

Today was not that day.

***

Spencer sat quietly listening to the team chat around him, chiming in when needed. But for the most part he wasn’t even listening.

He went through the motions, he agreed politely when the team invited him out for drinks after a tough case. He stayed the perfunctory amount of time before it was courteous enough for him to leave without seeming rude.

It was his turn to buy a round of drinks and after that he would take his leave. Not that he had anywhere exciting to be, but Spencer found hauling himself up in his apartment alone was what was best. Being alone was easier than the alternative.

He caught the bartender's attention and ordered the drinks. He tapped his fingers on the bar while he waited for them to be made.

He’d carried his heavy heart with him for what felt like forever but was in reality only seven years. But he still remembered that day like it was yesterday, waking up to find his bed empty and the love of his life vanished without a trace.

Not two days later he’d left Washington anyway, so maybe it was for the best. That didn’t mean it didn’t still cut him open from the inside some days. It didn’t mean that the pain didn’t still paralyze him sometimes.

There was a newspaper on the bar counter and he picked it up to scan while he waited on their drinks.

He’d never in all his years found himself back in the same city, although last time he’d woken up in Washington it had been a much different time.

A bar like this would have been closed due to the prohibition. Jazz music would be humming around him. Women were much less scantily clad then than they were in these times.

His finger traced the date on the top of the paper.

January 12th 2022.

At least this time around he was able to put his brain to better use as a member of the FBI’s Behavioural Analysis Unit.

He put the newspaper back on the bar just as his drinks were being brought over. He paid the man behind the counter and thanked him.

As he was placing the drinks on a tray to take back over to his table, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention.

A shiver passed up his spine and he felt as though something passed through him.

And then he heard the voice.

“I don’t suppose you could make me a mint julep? I’m feeling particularly nostalgic tonight.”

Spencer screwed his eyes tightly shut. Soft jazz music floated to his ears, his nostrils filled with the scent of cigars.

Feathers pinned in hair. Pearl necklaces dangling from the neck.

Prohibition. The roaring twenties.

“Do we need to make the introductions?” A girl giggled.

“It would appear that way.” Another girl laughed. “Go on, I’m sure he doesn’t bite.”

When he opened his eyes he was snapped back to the present time and place and a pair of hauntingly familiar eyes were staring back at him.

You tentatively stepped towards him, a curious yet fearful expression plastered across your features.

You looked older, around seven years older to be specific. You wore jeans and a t-shirt instead of the long beaded dresses he remembered of you. In place of feathers in your hair was a simple scrunchie.

You stopped right in front of him, chewing on your bottom lip. Your hands at your sides were shaking.

“I…this is going to sound crazy…” you continued rolling your lip between your teeth awkwardly. “Im sure I…you and I…we’ve…”

Spencer chuckled a little at your inability to form a sentence. It was understandable given the circumstances.

“Hi Y/N.” He spoke softly with his lop-sided smile you remembered so well.

You made a sound somewhere between a sob and a gasp. And then you threw yourself into his arms.

“Spencer, is it really you?” You immediately started to cry, burying your face into his shirt.

“It’s really me.” He wrapped you in his arms, scared to ever let you go again.

“You’re…?” You looked up at him, tears rolling down your cheeks.

He cupped your face and wiped at them with his thumbs.

“A traveller of time? Yes. And clearly so are you or you would be much, much older right now.” He laughed again and you’d missed that sound so much.

“Oh my god, Spencer.” You choked, a smile tugging at your lips. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“I’m here, my love. God I missed you.”

You rested your head on his chest and Spencer started swaying you to music that lived only in your heads.

The jazz singer’s dulcet tones were tickling your eardrums.

When you looked back up at Spencer he was smiling down on you. Over his shoulder Luke, Elizabeth and Ruth were making eyes at you and Rossi was running the bar.

Spencer spun the two of you around and the jazz band were taking up the small stage. The lights were dimmed and the atmosphere changed.

The walls around you crumbled away and all of sudden you were in the back of a nineteen twenties soda shop.

“What’s going on?” You whispered as he continued swaying you, feeling the hem of your flapper dress whisk around your ankles when he spun you again.

“I’ve no idea.” He was still smiling at you.

“Have we…” you didn’t want to speak it out loud. You didn’t want to jinx it.

But if you weren’t mistaken, it appeared as though in finding each other again, you’d been transported back to the place you met.

Did that mean this was all over? You’d never travelled while you were awake so it had to mean something.

You’d found your soulmate in America’s roaring twenties and in finding him again you’d wound up back here.

Maybe you and Spencer were destined to live your lives together in this era. Maybe you’d wake up tomorrow or next week somewhere completely different without him by your side. Or maybe you’d travel time together.

You had no way to know what the future held. But right here and right now you had a second chance. And that was your only concern.

The here and now was all that mattered.

“I don’t know what’s going on.” He raised one hand to cup your cheek. “But I do know we need to make every second count. Because anything could happen.”

“Agreed.” You smiled at him, nestling yourself closer to him.

“Whatever does happen Y/N, now I know I can find you, I will find you. I will always find you. I’ll always come back to you, my love.”

With that Spencer kissed you and it brought back memories of times passed.

But not just the memories of kisses in America’s nineteen twenties. Kisses in Paris, kisses in Rome. Kisses in Ancient Greece and war torn Germany.

Every memory you had from your crazy, unpredictable life flashed before your eyes and Spencer was now present in every single one. In every incarnation of your life, he was there by your side.

When you first met Spencer felt like you’d known him for your whole life. And it was only as he kissed you again now, that you realised you had.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Taglist -

All -

@muffin-cup @andiebeaword @measure-in-pain @takeyourleap-of-faith @spencers-dria

@sexy-dumpster-fire

SR x reader -

@frickin-bats @dreatine @adoringanakin @dr-spencerr-reidd @sleepretreat @spenxerslut @sweetandsunny @bellaswanismysoulmate @mcumorningstar @dontcallmekittens @kuolonsyoja @radtwinkie @drayshadow @lytrc

@nani-2305 @rainsong01 @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @safespacespence @shemarmooresfedora @pastelbabygirl19 @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @people-whatabunchofbastards @justreadingficsdontmindme

1920's Slang -

Bull session - informal conversation

Bluenose - prude

Dope peddlers - drug dealers

Giggle juice - alcohol

Hinky - suspicious

Drugstore cowboy - fashionable loiterer who hangs around trying to pick up girls

Screwy - eccentric

Sheba - woman with sex appeal

Applesauce - nonsense

Everything’s Jake - everything’s ok

Razz - tease

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #speakeasy to me #criminal minds smut

188 notes · View notes

boldlyvoid · 3 years ago

Note

Spencer and fem!reader have been together for a decade, married for five. They got married right after the Justin Mills episode, she proposed cause she almost lost him. He proposed to her once he got out and she had no idea he was going to. Anyway I got off on a tangent sorry I have ADHD. But anyway so part of Spencer was scared she’d leave him while he was in prison, which of course she never would. Not only because they have a three year old daughter. She of course doesn’t, and they’re both there to greet him when he’s released eighty-four days later. She’d been using porn to pleasure herself while he was gone, but it wasn’t nearly the same. He’s been so pent up that he jumps her the second they get back to his apartment. Needless to say, she wasn’t expecting him to be even more dominant when he got out of prison than he had started to be when he went in.

so i changed it up a bit, she hasn't had an orgasm since he left. she's so touch starved becasue she cant even hold his hand at visiting hours and they both can't help but fuck the second she tell's him they're bringing him home.

word count: 1.4K

cw: unprotected sex, dirty talk, daddy kink, dom!spencer, wall fucking, public sex, creampies, talk of pregnancy, touch starved reader and spencer, canon typical violence, references to PTSD, (I hope I got it all)

She’s anxiously tapping her foot, she’s been awake for 48 hours now, she hasn’t seen her daughter in just as long, and her husband even longer.

84 days to be exact.

She feels like she’s going to explode, she misses him so intensely and if he doesn’t come home now, she might never see him again. His mother is missing, he stabbed himself to stay safe in prison, he might not come home. again.

In the 10 years that she’s been with Spencer, he’s almost died 3 times. she thought that was the extent of her worry for her husband's safety... then he went missing, then he was arrested in Mexico and now he’s in prison fighting for his life.

She has her head in her hands, curled into a ball on the briefing room sofa, trying desperately to get her mind to stop saying he’s dead, they’re going to kill him, you’re too late. Over and over and over, the thoughts are so intense she almost doesn’t hear Emily call in and tell them to go get him.

It’s time to bring him home.

She stands faster than before. Faster than when they found the cemetery. Faster than when he almost coded in the ambulance from the anthrax he was exposed to. The only time it rivals is when the doctors came out and said they stopped the bleeding, 2 weeks before they eloped, 9 weeks into a pregnancy they were trying to hide from the team.

She always finds herself rushing to his side, fearing the worst but never has she been this close to the edge. She’s on the plane with JJ, Luke and Penelope faster than she’s ever moved before. Leg still bouncing as she sits, trying her best to stay awake, but her adrenaline is making her dizzy.

“Y/N,” JJ whispers from across the table, “he’s okay.”

“I know,” she whispers back. “That’s not why I’m nervous.”

“Why are you?”

She turns and sees Penelope and Luke arguing in the back, flirting way too much to eavesdrop, she takes a deep breath.

“I haven’t touched him in 3 months,” she whispers. “You guys may not think he’s a touchy person, but I haven’t slept. I don’t know how to sleep without him beside me. I haven’t had a real hug in forever…” a tear falls down her cheek.

She shakes her head, it’s been so unbelievably hard to be separated from him and she’s kept her composure this long. “I haven’t even been able to touch myself.”

She’s ashamed but JJ doesn’t budge, she simply tilts her head to the side in sympathy, “oh honey, he might be really distant, you have to prepare for him to continue to not touch you, or he might not leave your side and drive your crazy. I’m not sure how he’ll react but I know it’s not going to be easy.”

She nods, releasing a shaky breath and pretending that it’s not making her more anxious, “I know.” She finally breaks, sobbing and hiding her face behind her hands. “I’m sorry.”

JJ gets up and moves around the table, rubbing her hand over her back and shushing her, “you can tell him. You can go in and have a few minutes alone with him, Penelope and I will wait in the hallway.”

“I just want a hug,” she whispers, “I’m not going to fuck my husband in a prison.”

“Bundy did it,” Luke replies from the back of the plane because of course, they were listening in. “Plus, I don’t think he’s going to be comfortable enough to do that yet, I think his mind is on saving his mother.”

“Exactly,” Y/N rationalizes it, even if all she can picture is him bending her over that table that she wasn’t allowed to cross.

Sometimes the prison was so intimidating for her that she felt like she wasn’t even allowed to look at him. It was easier for her to send letters, they corresponded regularly. She knew everything, on a level the team didn’t, she knew just how hurt he was in there and she was already preparing for his recovery.

She has a binder in her purse, it has every resource he’ll ever need. Random information pamphlets for him to read on the way home and his sponsor's number. She got it from the VA, taking a special trip with Luke to ask the men there what they wish they had when they came home from Afghanistan, how they coped with PTSD and what they wish their partners knew beforehand. She’s as prepared as she could be.

But nothing prepares her for the look on his face when she opens the door. The guard steps aside and JJ closes the door as soon as Y/N is safely inside the room with him, she just cries.

“Is my mom okay?” He panic, “who’s watching Elly?”

“Spence,” she walks up to him, “we’re taking you home.”

“What?” His face drops, he turns as white as a ghost like he’s hallucinating and doesn’t believe what he hears.

She simply nods and throws her arms around him, holding him tighter than ever before, he holds her just as tight. She can’t breathe, he’s holding her too tight and then he’s picking her up and sitting her on the table, kissing her neck and down her shirt and she can’t help herself from leaning back and attempting to unbutton his jeans.

He pushes her skirt up and pulls her panties to the side, roughly kissing her as she stokes him a few times before wrapping her legs around him and bringing him inside. His beard is longer than it’s ever been, scratching at her skin as he explores her, she can’t believe they’re actually doing this but it feels too good for her to even say a single word.

“God, I’ve missed your sweet cunt,” he grunts in her ear, picking her up and turning them. He presses her against the brick wall, holding her with a strength he’s never had before, and fucking into her with intent.

“I haven’t cum in 90 days,” she says between pants, wanting him to praise her.

“So that’s why you’re such a desperate slut? I’ve made you into a whore over the last 10 years, haven’t I?”

“Yes sir,” she replies on instinct, they’ve tried having him be more dominating but it never really worked out in their favour… this however, this is more than that.

This is primal.

He bites her shoulder, over her shirt and making the fabric wet, grunting as he fucks her, he’s like an animal. It’s incredibly hot, she’s so deprived she almost cums but she holds off, “please?” She begs, wanting his permission for the first time in months.

“Please what?”

“Please can I cum?” she cries, actually tears fall down her cheeks from the frustration, months of anticipation bursting at the seams, “please, daddy?”

“Ugh,” he lays his forehead on her shoulder and fucks into her harder, rubbing her clit with his thumb. “Cum baby, come on daddy’s cock, you depraved little whore.”

She tosses her head back against the wall, it’s going to hurt later but her orgasm is so intense she barely even feels real. She’s floating there as she grips his shoulders and her legs hold him close to her. He stills as he cums, filling her up, they both sigh at the same time.

Sliding to the floor, she’s still wrapped around him, cock inside her as they hold each other. Faces buried in the other's neck, they try to come down but all they can do is run their hands over each other's bodies, appreciating the fact they’re allowed to hold one another in this stupid room again, no one is going to yell at her for holding his hand or passing him a bracelet from their kid.

They hear a knock on the window and that’s their queue to get presentable again. She feels a little gross, but this is the closest she’s felt to him in forever. Carrying a part of him inside of her was her favourite thing in the world, all she could hope for was another little one to be the glorious result of this terrible situation.

#spencer reid #spencer reid request #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid smut #blurb

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mercy-burning · 4 years ago

Text

The 13th Hour

Part of Mercy’s 1k Celebration: A collection of Spencer Reid x Reader requests to celebrate 1,000 followers.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader and Spencer conduct a 12-hour sexual experiment Category: SMUT (this isn’t as hardcore as it could have been, but it’s still explicit, so 18+ only) Warnings: Some language, Sex (edging, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, female receiving oral sex, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, aftercare) Word Count: 3.8k

Full Request: “...Okay... Spencer running a little experiment on you, seeing how many times he can edge you... and then how many times he can make you cum, being all clinical and scientific about it, I just can’t get the idea out of my head! Congrats on 1k🥰🥰🥰” — @bluesunrise02

MASTERLIST | 1K MASTERLIST

NOTE: I know I’ve read something similar to this before, but I can’t for the life of me remember whose post it was, so if any of you remember, or know of another concept like this, please let me know! I hope this isn’t too similar, I did try to make it a little different than what I remember from the other fic. I hope you enjoy it! Also, DISCLAIMER! I’m... not really sure if it’s realistic for this to happen in 12 hours, so excuse me if that’s a little out there. I hope it’s okay!

***

HOUR 1

It was something the two of you had talked about before, but with both your crazy schedules, it was hard to find the time. But once there was a weekend where you and Spencer realized you both had off, there was no question about it. This was your time.

There was a notebook in his hands as he examined your body, laid out perfectly for him to do whatever he wanted. Though, seeing him writing things down now seemed strange considering he wasn't actually doing anything.

"What could you possibly be taking note of right now?" you questioned, verbalizing your minor concern.

He just looked up from his work and smirked at you, only for a few seconds before he went back, jotting something else down.

To experiment on your own, you closed your legs and rubbed your thighs together, hoping he'd get the signal.

The second he put his hands on your knees to spread your legs open again, you almost broke down right there. Because you finally realized why he was talking forever to get started.

He was making you wait for it. Getting you excited and antsy.

"Keep 'em open for me, sweet girl," he said softly as he ran the tip of his pencil over your bare thighs. The sensation admittedly made you clench around nothing, and he smiled, returning to write something down.

But then he was done teasing. He set the notebook and pencil down and sat beside you, making sure you looked him in the eyes before he spoke. "Are you sure you still want to go through with this? You know whenever you feel like it, you just say the safeword and we'll stop."

You smiled up at him with a slight nod and reached out to grab his hand. "I'm ready when you are, Doc."

He squeezed your hand and leaned down to kiss you sweetly. Though, the sweetness didn't last. After you started to get squirmy, his hands gently roaming your bare body as he kissed you for about a half hour—Yes, a half hour—he relented, trailing his kisses down to the insides of your thighs. By the time he actually truly touched you, you were already a whimpering mess.

If that was any indication as to how the rest of the day would go, you were in trouble. Good trouble, sure, but trouble nonetheless.

He took it easy, gently swiping his tongue out to tease your clit as his middle finger slowly—and torturously so—entered in and out of you. Whenever he could tell that you were getting closer to orgasm, he pulled back, pressing gentle kisses to the insides of your thighs again and then returning to his work sometime later.

This was a cycle that kept repeating until about another half hour had passed, and Spencer retreated to take more notes.

"You feeling okay?" he asked, brushing the hair from your face.

You smiled up at him, a little frustrated at not being able to get off, but blissed out nonetheless at all the build-up. "Mhm...

HOUR 5

By now he'd brought out the weakest vibrator you had, keeping it on a low setting as he alternated between pressing it to your clit and pumping it in and out of you. In between hours, you'd been drinking water and eaten a few decent snacks to keep yourself hydrated and fed.

You were nearing the end of the first half of the day, and after this next hour you'd be able to stop for an hour to eat lunch and take a break.

But you couldn't focus on that right now.

No, right now you were too busy gasping and moaning out every time Spencer's tongue flicked and swirled over your clit as his fingers worked the vibrator in and out of your body.

The pressure was building and building, and like it had become second nature at this point, you tapped his head to let him know you were on the brink. So he pulled away completely, leaving you whimpering and sweating.

He turned the vibrator off and came to sit next to you rather than in front of you. His hand grazed your cheek as he looked down at you, his gentle and caring nature instantly calming you down.

"Keep going?" he asked softly, rubbing his thumb along your bottom lip.

You kissed it and nodded, knowing you could hold out for another forty minutes or so. "I can do it."

"I know you can, sweet girl. Just a little longer, and then we can take a break."

He kissed you sweetly again before returning to his spot in front of you, and the sound of the vibrator turning on immediately set your insides aflame.

This time, he pressed it to your clit, and you jumped at the sensation. And as if that wasn't enough, he leaned forward and added his tongue to the mix, both of them completely overtaking your senses and sending you into a tailspin.

It didn't take very long for you to need to tap his head again, and he chuckled as he pulled away, leaning into your thigh. "So soon already, baby?" he mused.

"I can take it, I just... I need... more frequent breaks," you breathed, trying to look up at him and failing to keep your head up.

"Oh, that's gonna make the second half of this little experiment so much fun," he mused again, and then dove head-first back into said experiment.

HOUR 6

You were sitting at the kitchen table, and your legs felt like they might fall off. When you told Spencer this, he laughed and reassured you that you'd be fine, but let you know kindly that if you didn't want to go through with the rest of this and stop for the day, that was more than okay, too.

He made you toast and cereal for lunch, despite his protests to get you to eat something a bit more sustainable. But you insisted that you had to have Lucky Charms and toast, and really, who was he to say no to you?

It didn't take long for you to eat, so the both of you spent the rest of your hour-long break cuddled on the couch. You were wrapped in a soft new robe he'd just bought you for an anniversary present, snuggled into his side as he rubbed your head, his fingers brushing through your hair and almost making you fall asleep. And you probably would have, too, if not for the fact that you knew what was coming next.

Despite the slight exhaustion that was starting to wash over you, it kept you awake and alive with electricity just thinking about what the next few hours would entail.

HOUR 8

You'd ended up dozing off a little longer than expected, no doubt throwing off your experiment a little bit, but once you woke up on the couch to find Spencer taking more notes in his book, the feeling you had (relaxed and refreshed and ready to go again) let you know it was worth it.

"Can I see what you're writing?" you mumbled, reaching out to pull him closer to you.

"You can tomorrow. I want you to be as unbiased as possible, so you're gonna have to wait."

You kissed his neck and nuzzled into it, already feeling replenished and ready for phase 2. "Whatever you say, Doctor," you hummed into his skin.

About 20 minutes of making out on the couch, some water, and a bathroom break later, you found yourself perched on the bed again, this time leaning against the headboard and toying the hem of your robe, which you'd left on and open, per your boyfriend's request.

He watched you intently as your hands started to roam, slightly pushing the silk aside to expose your breasts and then gently kneading them. Under his intense staring you felt yourself grow wet again already, and it was... well, intense, for lack of a better word.

After being edged for five hours straight, even with a decent break in between, everything that was happening seemed to be amplified, every sense heightened so that with every touch and even every look, it likely wouldn't take long for you to start falling apart again.

And you couldn't wait.

Rather than tell Spencer this, you showed him, spreading your legs wide and pouting, running your hands down your front and then resting your fingers promptly at the crease of your thighs.

"Eager already?" he laughed, writing something down.

"Mhm," you whined in earnest, though you'd have been lying if you said you didn't do it to catch his attention, too.

Whether that's what did it or not, you were excited to see that he set the notebook down and was making his way to nestle between your legs once more. As he kissed the insides of your right thigh you reached out to run your fingers through his hair.

"You remember your safeword if anything gets to be too much?" he asked, pausing his trail of kisses to look you in the eye.

You nodded, repeating the word, "Raven." The day you walked into the BAU for the first time, the first time you met, he was reading The Raven, and the two of you had a decent discussion about it for hours once you'd had some free time.

And even that was before the both of you had realized just how compatible you two were. You shared a lot of the same interests, and where you didn't know about something, he'd teach you, and vice versa.

That philosophy also happened to extend into your sex lives.

You didn't even really know you were into edging and overstimulation until one night Spencer would not stop teasing you, bringing you to the edge just to pull back until you were begging for him to finish the job.

Now look at where you were.

His finger teasing your pussy and gathering the slickness that had unsurprisingly already started to form there brought you out of your fond daydream. You looked down at him, sighing out at the way he looked in that moment and the way he made you feel. And when his middle and ring fingers slowly pushed into you, his mouth dropping open and forming a small 'o' as he worked so curiously, you start to realize just how lucky you'd gotten.

HOUR 10

"Fuck, baby, please!"

Spencer came to a halt then, keeping himself buried deep inside of you as you gasped out for air.

"You wanna cum again, sweet girl?" he cooed, reaching down to cup your cheek.

You looked up at him and nodded, small whines escaping that closely resembled Mhm.

You'd already cum twice per hour since you'd started phase 2 of this experiment, but with only a few left to go, you pushed through the fatigue and focused on everything else. At first you tried to delay yourself again, thinking that maybe the payoff would be better and the overstimulation wouldn't be as bad, but you were sorely mistaken. After the third time you came, it was clear that there wouldn't be anything you could do unless you stopped it altogether, and you didn't want to. You knew your limits, and if there ever did come a time where you knew it was too much, you knew exactly how to stop it.

It also helped that Spencer was n absolute angel about everything. He always asked if you needed any water, if you were okay to keep going, if you wanted him to slow down or let you take a little break.

You had nothing to worry about.

He started drilling into you again, close to his first orgasm of the day, and you were more than willing to embrace it after having nothing but his hands, mouth, and a vibrator the whole time. Which, of course, was still a damn-near magical experience, but nothing ever compared to the way it felt when he straight-up fucked you. Especially now considering you were practically higher than you'd ever been.

When he did cum inside you for the first time that day, you yelled out, moaning obscenely at how... well, just good it felt. You couldn't think of any other words to describe it, especially while you were on the brink of coming undone yourself. Everything was just so high and sharp and good that you couldn't form proper words.

But you didn't need them.

You came shortly after he did, and Spencer still continued to slowly thrust into you. As his movements slowed, he tilted your head up to look at him, and spoke. "I think you can give me one more before our hour is up, yeah? Just one more, baby?"

"Uh... Uh huh," you breathed, giving him the best smile you could.

When he leaned forward to kiss you, his angle deepened, and you gasped out against his lips. He stayed there, taking sharp, staccato thrusts forward that kept his cum planted deep inside you and quickly started to give you another orgasm.

"You got it, baby, you got it. Let go for me, it's okay..."

His words sent you over the edge, your body finally shuddering with the effects of your sixth orgasm of the day. You clung to his neck, squeezing him until you were sure he couldn't breathe, but nonetheless, he kept at it, encouraging you with sweet words and running his hands gently through your hair.

When you were practically writhing around him in uncomfortable pleasure, he pulled out of you.

You breathed out a shaky sigh of relief against his shoulder, taking in all the sweet whispers he sent in your ear. Eventually your breathing slowed, and together you were both harmonious in slow, gentle breathing. You could have fallen asleep right there.

"I'm gonna pull back to look at you, sweet girl, is that okay?" he asked.

"Uh huh," you offered quietly, loosening your grip on him and allowing him to finally meet your eye again.

His gaze was soft, loving, everything that kept you going.

"Let's take a little break before we finish the rest of this, okay?"

HOUR 12

This was it. This was the homestretch.

After a half-hour break during which Spencer cleaned you up a bit, made sure you were rested and hydrated, and set up for this last hour and a half, he had you on your stomach. Your ass was up in the air, your cheek resting on one pillow while another laid under you for support. It was comfortable, and you knew that it was the best way to end off the experiment.

"You ready for me, pretty girl?" You heard Spencer's voice from behind you, and it made you smile.

"Ready whenever you are, baby," you offered back clearly. You were more than ready for this.

You could practically hear his smile when he said, "That's my girl." His hands ran over your bare ass, and to show that you were in good spirits, you wiggled a little, causing him to laugh as he brought his hands down to your pussy.

The contact made you clench, and a small moan left your lips as he ran his fingers through your wetness.

"I love how eager you are, sweet girl," he mused, continuing his slow back and forth motions from your clit to your opening. And you couldn't help it. You begged. You didn't even really know what in particular you were begging for, just that it was setting your soul on fire not being touched to the fullest extent.

"Please," you cried out, relishing in the way his fingers did touch you, and begging for more.

Thankfully he seemed to be merciful, not wasting any time asking questions and simply getting to work. Two of his fingers slid easily into you, and you moaned out at the sensation. Between that and the small praises you could hear falling from his lips, truthfully you could have fallen asleep. Everything was so high-inducing that it felt like you were floating.

But you didn't fall asleep. You made sure to stay fully aware of what was happening, even if it did feel like time and space were coming in and out of focus sometimes. Besides, that fuzzy feeling was how you'd come to know you were close to orgasm.

It rocked through you like water crashing onto the shore, each new wave of pleasure stronger than the next until it subsided altogether, leaving you with a clean slate in the sand. You were moaning out incoherently into the pillow as you tried to catch your breath, but then smaller, yet still prominent waves met your shore and left you humming as his hips stayed pressed into your ass.

You were coherent enough then to realize that he was coming inside you, and the fuzziness of your surroundings cleared enough for you to hear him calling out your name in sweet, blissed-out whispers. Each syllable was like a prayer, desperate and unwavering as your body relished in the feeling of his warmth flooding inside of you.

But you almost didn't even hear the last part.

"Are you okay, Y/N?"

Surprisingly to you, you found yourself unable to respond—the words were forming in your head, but your body and your mouth simply refused to do anything to communicate how you were feeling.

What did come out was, "How... much... time?"

By now Spencer had pulled out and away from you, and was now perched on the bed, beside you while his hand stroked the hair from your face. "Time's up now, sweet girl. You did so well."

HOUR 13

Time, as it turns out, had not been up.

In actuality, the last hour only ended up being fifteen minutes, and upon seeing how exhausted and almost incoherent you were, Spencer decided to call it quits. Not to mention he had been tiring, himself. It gave him ample time to clean you up and get you into a nice, warm bath, though. As you waited for the water to run, he jotted some quick things down in the notebook and then tended to you the rest of the evening.

He washed you up, gave your shoulders and head a nice massage while doing so, and after about a half hour, dressed you in your favorite, comfiest pajamas. Your legs were so weak that he half-carried you to the bed, where you almost passed out on the spot. He'd crawled into bed with you immediately after throwing on a pair of boxers and a tee shirt, and took the time to rub your head, your arms, anywhere that comforted you.

You barely registered them because of how weak you felt, but he whispered praises against your temple, alternating between gentle words and even gentler kisses.

And now, you were well into the thirteenth hour of your experiment, sleeping soundly beside Spencer as he wrote a few more things down in the notebook.

THE NEXT MORNING

He wasn't there when you opened your eyes. It worried you at first, but you saw a note on his pillow that read: Left to grab breakfast. Be back soon. I love you. —S

You smiled lazily, stretching out and instantly feeling how sore your muscles were. Through a wince, you stretched out some more before spotting Spencer's notebook on his bedside table.

And... Well, he did say that you could look at it after the experiment was over, didn't he?

So you climbed over, grabbed the notebook, and flipped it open, your stomach fluttering with butterflies at the thought of what he might have written.

Sure enough, the more you read, the stronger the butterflies got. Your eyes skirted over page after page, detailing in bullet points the filthy things he did to you and how you reacted, every hour a highlight reel of all that he tried and even some of the things you'd said. Some of it you didn't really remember at first, but it slowly started to come back to you as you woke up more, the blush on your cheeks deepening immensely as you read on.

You got near the end of the experiment, and that's when you noticed an added 13th hour.

More than curious as to what that could entail, you read a few paragraphs in Spencer's messy handwriting that sent a shot of warmth straight to your heart.

Y/N has finally fallen asleep. This is the 13th hour we've spent together today since the experiment started, and truthfully I think it's my favorite one. I find that even the intense fire I felt burning through me all day could never compare to the warmth I'm feeling right now, as she sleeps beside me, blissfully unaware of what I'm writing while her breathing softly threatens to lull me to sleep. I can't think of a better feeling, to be surrounded by her presence. It's comforting and warm and beautiful, and that's not even the half of it.

No matter what remarkably devious things I do to her body in the name of sexual experiments, what matters most to me is that at the end of the day, Y/N feels just as comforted and warm and beautiful as she makes me feel. Which is why I think I'll bring her blueberry pancakes tomorrow morning— they're her favorite. And while I'm out, I want to pick up some of her favorite snacks, some flowers, and maybe a stuffed animal or two. And... maybe that's a little much...

But as long as she knows how much I adore her, nothing is ever too much.

Your throat was suddenly tight, and tears threatened to escape, every muscle in your body tense as they tried their hardest to prevent you from actually crying. Maybe the physical intensity of yesterday was to blame, but deep down you knew that Spencer's heartfelt words would always be more powerful than any physical toll on your body, heart, and soul.

You hadn't even registered that he'd come home, his voice snapping you out of your little trance.

"You weren't supposed to see that yet," he said softly with an amused laugh. When you looked up, his hands were holding a bouquet of pink carnations, your favorite.

And with the soft, loving look in his eye, a tear managed to fall down your cheek. "I love you," you whispered through a smile, feeling your body start to break down after holding in all the tears.

"I love you too, sweet girl," he replied, striding over to you in a few steps.

When he reached the edge of the bed, you sat up on your knees and grabbed his face with your hands, bringing his lips to meet yours as the flowers tickled your chest over the thin material of your shirt.

"You're going to smush the flowers," he mumbled against your lips, and you laughed, pulling away to take them from him.

"Thank you, they're beautiful," you said, tilting your head down to instinctively smell them.

Spencer smiled back at you, and the sight made your heart beat a little faster as he said, "Just like you."

PERMANENT TAGLIST:

@elldell1204 @muffin-cup @calm-and-doctor @slutforthegubes @s1utformgg @rainsong01 @yourmisosoup

tags not working: @takeyourleap-of-faith @emilyprentisslittlewhore

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meganskane · 3 years ago

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In The End

masterlist

summary: after doing some thinking reader decides that maybe being in a relationship with spencer isn’t what’s best for the both of them.

warnings: yanno the usual break up stuff…. like crying and sad stuff lol </3

word count: 1.6k

pairing: spencer reid x reader

A/N: SHES HERE!!!!! it’s literally been foreeeeeeever since i’ve come out with something and i did want to post something before college starts back up again…. it starts monday so i’m right on time lol …. anyway! i genuinely enjoyed this fic and i hope you all do too!!

She was nervous, that much had been obvious. Anyone would’ve been able to tell, whether it be the incessant pacing, nail picking, or tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Most people would’ve been delighted to have their boyfriend come home after not being able to see him, to talk to him, for weeks. Not her though. It wasn’t like she had a boyfriend that was terrible, he was amazing in almost every way possible. And it wasn’t like she no longer loved him because she did, she truly did.

Her mind had been on this constant spin, filled with the endless notion of how this conversation could go gnaw at her brain, the good, the bad. It all nearly caused her to miss the familiar sound of Spencer’s keys jingling in the lock. A sound she once adored now caused her breath to bitterly sit in her throat.

Y/N’s eyes quickly snapped in the entryway of the small apartment, painfully waiting to see the man she once longed for. “Hey” Spencer greeted, voice filled with exhaustion. She hadn’t even realized that she was holding her breath till she tried to speak. Even when she had it came out as no more than a whisper,

“Hi”

“I didn’t think you’d still be awake when I got in, I missed you. '' he softly spoke, it was clear that he was exhausted but still seemed to gather enough energy to flash the biggest smile in her direction because he was happy to see her. A soft groan left her lips, the guilt was unbearable.

Spencer cautiously began to walk closer in her direction, his eyebrows knit together. Clearly, he had been trying to piece together what could possibly be going on in her mind. After the long silence, he finally mustered up the courage to ask, “You okay?” Sure he studied human behavior but when it came to Y/N? Spencer was always so lost. Maybe it had been due to his naivety with women but in moments like this, every book textbook he’s ever read seemed to be futile. She was damn near impossible to read.

“Spencer, we need to talk. Now.” his eyes flicked over to her face before nodding to himself,

“Spencer? Wow okay, this is serious. What’s up?” he playfully joked, setting his bags down not quite putting his full attention on her as he began to strip off the layers he bundled himself with to try and tolerate Virginia’s winter air. “I miss you, I rarely get to see or speak to you anymore, and when I do get the chance it's for a minute. Before you’re off back to work.”

“I know, and I'm sorry it's just because they've been bringing in cases like crazy and can’t seem to find another team to take over them. I’ll be better with this, I promise.”

“No, you won’t. You’ve been telling me this for three months Spencer, and I just can't do it anymore. I can’t keep living my life like this” she sounded selfish, she surely felt like it. But once she started it seemed like she couldn’t stop, “I can't sit here lost and alone waiting for you”

“O-or that dreaded fear that lives in my head that you won’t make it back to me. That one of your friends is going to call me and say you were abducted again, in surgery or worse, dead! It’s not fair to me.” Spencer stared at the woman in front of him. She had been difficult to read most times but the look on her face? It would take a fool to not notice that look. She looked defeated. That much was noticeable.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he stared into her eyes, “This sounds like you're trying to say goodbye?” she silently began to pick at her nails, avoiding any sort of eye contact with him, and from the corner of her eye, she watched as his head snapped up in disbelief due to the lack of response on her end. That silence seemed to have spoken for itself, “What?! Y/N! No!” he screeched

“Spence come on, think about it. What’s the point in this if only one of us is willing to make it work?” That right there? Those five words just confirmed everything Spencer had feared. Y/N was done.

“I’m willing to fix it! I’ll be home more often, I-I can work full time as a professor. Consult on cases from home and spend more time with you! We could even get one of those dogs you’ve always wanted!” she was done but that didn’t mean he was, he wanted this, He wanted her and he wasn’t going to let this go without some sort of fight. He’s been waiting for a love like this for too long.

He didn’t want to do the whole get to know you talking all over again when he met her he thought he met his forever person. He was done and this was it for him.

“A Frenchie?” he eagerly nodded in response before continuing, “Yeah! Did you know that since French Bulldogs are so top-heavy and also brachycephalic, they can’t swim? That this type of vigilance is crucial around large bodies of water? So I guess that means no beach days for the little guy” he chuckled, reaching his hand out expecting her to lean into his touch like all the times she had done before.

But, that’s when she sighed, taking his hands into her own rubbing soothing circles against his veiny skin, “Sweetheart, as tempting as that is, I can’t ask you to do that for me. It’s not fair to you. The BAU is your entire life and it would be selfish of me to make you stop doing what you love.”

“Doing that alone would make you resent me forever, and I couldn’t live with myself having that in the back of my mind”

“But, I’m not ready to lose you” he desperately pleaded.

“You already have. I have been going back and forth with myself for weeks on this, you aren’t in the right place for a relationship and you know it,” I sighed ''Why continue to string me along?”

This is where they both stared at one another in silence watching as they both began to slowly become a wreck. Neither he nor she was sure when the tears began to flow and neither sure when they had ceased. “I still love you”

“I know you do, and I will always love you” that’s where she began to laugh. Spencer furrowed his eyebrows once again as he stared at her hoping for an explanation for the laughter. Luckily she hadn’t left him waiting for too long.

Once her laughter died down she looked at him with a slight smile, “God look at me! I sound like a corny breakup song” despite the situation they were facing he too couldn’t stop his lip from twitching into a smile and giggles began to erupt from them both. The laughter was short-lived and a comfortable silence fell between the two of them. Neither one of them was sure what to say or do next.

Spencer broke the silence with a final question, “But, now's not the right time?”

“Yeah, now just isn’t the time.” she assured, as she began softly wiping away the remaining tears that seemed to stain his pale skin. He’d be okay without her and she knew it. Spencer would find his happily ever after again someday, that much was certain. So, Y/N wasn't worried.

“Okay,” he nodded. There was that obvious disappointment that filled his voice but yet? He understood.

They both stood from their rightful spots Spencer took her hand into her own as they silently walked toward the front door. Spencer placed a soft kiss on her forehead as the realization dawned on him once more.

“Goodbye Spencer” he gave her a weak smile as she walked into the hall, away from him and into her new life.

They always say that sometimes you meet the right person but it's just not the right time. I never really understood the saying because I always liked to believe that it’ll always be the right time if it’s the right person. But, then she met Spencer, and now it all just made sense.

Spencer watched as Y/N descended from their his staircase waiting till she was out of his sight to close the door behind him. He aimlessly wandered to his sofa sitting in silence, a dull ache sat in his chest. He felt around his pocket looking for one thing in particular and once he found it he let out a painfilled sigh.

He opened the small box admiring the jewelry that sat in it, he had picked it up when visiting his mother during this last case. It was hers, a ring that had been in his family for generations and he planned on giving it to her.

The more he stared at the ring the more tears began to fill his eyes, he was alone once again. Everyone he once loved seemed to have abandoned him in some way, Y/N was just another added to the list. Just like that. Gone. When only an hour ago he and Derek were tossing around ideas of how and when he should propose to her.

“Won’t be needing this anymore” he mumbled to himself, setting the box down and laying back, his body feeling numb. They both said this was forever but, forever? It hadn’t been as long as he had hoped for.

taglist: @coldlilheart @emilyprsntiss @idonotexiste @takeyourleap-of-faith @lumosemily @winifrede @averyhotchner @reidingmelodies @spenxerslut @aayaissaa @reiding-recs @moderatelydelusional @iwouldburnupintheatmosphere @reidyoulikeabook @spookyspence @altsvu @spencersrose @xoxospencerreid @miraclesoflove @bxbyjjsupremacy @raegan-reid @bingereid

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#spencer reid #dr spencer reid #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fic #criminal minds #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #nati writes #breakup #breakup fics #cm #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x fem!readr #spencer reid x you

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quicksilverownsmysoul · 4 years ago

Text

Take Me Home Tonight

Summary: Warren accidentally confesses to you and is forced to realize that he’s been in love with you for a while now. This is Evan’s warren lipka I just wanted to specify

Word Count: 2928

Warnings: None this is pure fluff, Warren being his usual goofy and incredibly hot self

You were having the time of your life right now, nothing was funnier than drunk Warren Lipka. He was the definition of a hot mess, one second he was grinding on some random lady on the dance floor and the next second he was passed out on the toilet, pants down and Spencer had to go and get him. You always volunteered to be their designated driver when they went out, you loved getting to see Warren like this. And because you would never get drunk in front of Warren, you knew you were a bold drunk and whatever you did he would never let you forget it.

You scanned the room trying to make sure you had eyes on them. Spencer was snoring with his head down surrounded by empty bottles and various wrappers, he was sitting at a table towards the center of the bar and Warren was near the front of the bar. He was currently fighting with some woman over the karaoke machine. Warren wrestled the microphone from her and her friends cussed him out before he flipped them off. He took the makeshift stage stumbling on the last step.

He squinted his eyes till he found you, you gave him a wave, water still in hand. He gave you a lopsided smile before pointing in your direction, pushing his hair back. “This one goes out to my girlfriend!” The crowd wolf whistled as they turned to face in your direction. You rolled your eyes.

“I’m not his girlfriend!” You shouted back with a laugh.

“Yea but I wish you were!” He shouted back.

“Wait what.” You felt your eyes bulge out of your head and turn to look at Spencer, he had the same shocked look on his face. You looked at him for an explanation and he just shrugged his shoulders, as clueless as you were. Warren whispered something to the guy running the machine and a second later Eddie Money started blaring out of the speakers, drowning out your attempts to call him off the stage.

Warren bopped his head to the music, jerking his hips out, still pointing in your direction. “I feel a hunger, it’s a hunger, That tries to keep a man awake at night!” He began to sing and it was awful. He was basically screaming and his voice was raspy from all the alcohol. But he put up so much of a performance into the way he sang the audience didn't seem to care. He held eye contact with you slowly moving off the stage and towards you.

The spotlight followed his movements, the light creeping closer to your secluded corner of darkness. “Are you the answer?” Your heart pounded at the implication of his words and the way his eyes seemed alert. He continued singing until he was directly in front of you. He threw the cord around you and used it to pull you close, you stumbled into him catching yourself on his chest. He leaned forward, his close proximity making the hair on your arms stand up, he lowered his voice as he nudged the side of his head into yours. “I can feel you breathe, I can feel your heart beat faster…”

He watched you with half lidded eyes, moving closer, his lips nearly brushing against yours, but before you could make contact he pulled away from you nearly causing you to trip over the cord as he yanked it back towards him. He danced back towards the center of the bar and jumped up on the table where Spencer was at. He threw his head back and screamed out the lyrics “TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT! I DON’T WANNA LET YOU GO ‘TIL YA SEE THE LIGHT!”

He waved his arm in the air, signaling the crowd to sing along with him. He nudged Spencer with his foot and he began to sing along with the rest of the bar patrons. They were all drunkenly sighing along with Warren, their gazes locked on you. He moved his arms around madly jumping up and down on the table, going absolutely crazy. You laughed watching him thrust his hips forward, matching the beat of the song. He pulled Spencer on the table with him and they both began to drunkenly sing to you, your face hurt from smiling so widely. You took out your phone and began to record their little song and dance. You also took a picture of drunk Warren pointing at you and screaming be my little baby. He had nearly slipped off the table while doing it, so it was all blurry and his eyes were wild. You made a mental note to make it your lockscreen later.

He started up at the chorus again, this time him and Spencer belting it accompanied by the other customers. “TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT!” Warren jumped a little too close to the edge of the table and launched him and Spencer on the floor, knocking over the neighboring tables. You were doubled over in laughter, Warren hadn’t even stopped singing he just carried on as he laid on top of Spencer on the floor.

The security guard walked over to the two of them and picked them up by their shirt collars. He tried taking the microphone from Warren but he just held it closer still signing into it, even though the music had stopped. The security guard looked at you and called you over. “Come get your boyfriend!”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

“BUT HE WISHES HE WAS!” The bar patrons chanted together, remembering what Warren had shouted to you earlier. Your face burned in embarrassment as you want to collect them. Ripping the microphone from Warren’s hands as he whined and handed it to the security guard. The crowd cheered Warren on as you guys were escorted out, he bowed and blew kisses to the crowd. You had to drag him by his arm all the way to the car, Spencer just walked alongside you guys smiling to himself.

You shoved Warren into the passenger's seat and he groaned as he hit his head on the roof going in. Spencer laughed at him. “Shut up!” Warren called reaching into the back seat.

“Stop that!” You said, pulling him back into the front seat. You buckeld yourself in before starting up the car. “I can’t believe you got us kicked out of my favorite bar.” You scolded. You weren't really all that mad about being kicked out, you were more upset about the way Warren had said he wished you were his girlfriend. You knew that when Warren was drunk he would say and do just about anything so you learned not to take him seriously. But you had been crushing on him for years now and for a second you had felt a flicker of hope that he returned your affection.

Warren just pouted with his arms crossed for a moment before playing with your radio flicking through the channels. He smiled when he heard the song he was singing earlier again. “Oh no not again.” You said reaching over to turn the radio off, he smacked your hand away and kept his own covering the buttons.

“Warren.” You warned, glancing over to glare at him. He just smirked and started singing again.

“Come on (y/n) sing with me!”

“No.”

“I feel a hunger….” He leaned across to the seat getting really close to whisper in your ear. “Come on, you know you wanna sing with me. You know you wanna take me home tonight.” He slurred. You pushed him back into his seat laughing at his poor attempt at flirting. But it got you to play along.

“Oh yeah, I’ll take you home tonight.” You said in an over seductive voice, reaching over to run your hand up and down his thigh.

“Really?” He asked, biting his bottom lip.

‘Yeah I’m gonna take both your asses home and make sure you stay there.” You pushed your hand into his chest knocking him back into his seat.

He groaned, lulling his head to the side knocking it against the window with a soft bonk. “You’re no fun.”

You winked at him. “I know.” You softly hummed the tune to yourself the rest of the ride home and Warrens smiled to himself at watching you.

You dropped them both off at Warren’s place, he said his dad wasn't home so Spencer could crash there. Warren had nearly fallen down the stairs into the basement, but you caught him and propped him up. He blushed as you gently helped him lay down in bed and removed his shoes. You laid him down and he grabbed your hand as you moved to leave. “What, no goodnight kiss?” You rolled your eyes and moved back towards him. He closed his eyes and puckered his lips, you made him lay back down and settled for a kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight Warren.” He was glad the lights were off so you couldn't see how red his face had gotten from your simple kiss. He hadn't expected you to do anything at all.

“‘Night.”

Warren woke up in the middle of the night, needing to pee. As he was washing his hands he was hit with a full memory of what had happened last night. He stumbled out of his room and made his way to Spencer who was passed out on the couch. “Dude.” He shook him. “Dude wake up!”

Spencer jolted awake. “What do you want Warren?”

“Did I do what I think I did last night?” Warren said slowly, his brows furrowed.

“If you’re asking if you indirectly confessed to (y/n) by serenading her with an Eddie Money song and then asking her to take you home tonight about a million times then yes.” Spencer curled back into himself hugging the blanket closer. He was always thankful when you made a bed for him. You always remember to give him a blanket and a pillow. Warren always forgot and he ended up having to use a newspaper or a couch cushion to keep warm. He turned back, opening one eye. “She also kissed you goodnight and left you a care package.”

“I’m sorry she kissed me?” Warren said, yanking Spencer's blanket away.

“Yes.” Spencer said bordely, blindly fumbling for his blanket. “On the forehead idiot, you asked her for a kiss and that’s all she gave you.”

“But she kissed me?”

“Yes. Now give me my blanket back.”

“One more thing.”

“What?” Spencer groaned, trying to get his blanket back. Warren kept holding it out of his reach.

“You said she left me a care package.”

“Yea, on the table.” Warren dropped the blanket back on Spencer and practically sprinted over to the table. “ But she left a gatorade for me too so don’t drink them both!” Spencer added before going back to sleep. There was a little wooden tray with a gatorade, an aspirin bottle and a whole bunch of little tricks to help with a hangover. He smiled at your sweet sentiment and downed some of the pills hoping they would ease his pounding head. He held the little care package in his hands, smiling at it unconsciously. You were always so thoughtful, you always took care of his dumbass and got him out of whatever trouble he managed to get into. You were always there for him when he needed you. He had always had lingering feelings for you but he’d brush it off as a crush, Warren Lipka didn't have “deep feelings.”

But the longer he looked at the care package you left him and as he reflected on the events of last night he couldn't deny it any longer. “Shit.” He mumbled running a hand down his face. Spencer had turned to look at him. “I’m in love with her.”

“You're just now realizing this.” Warren tossed a pillow at him and Spencer batted it away. “So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“I’m just gonna hold all my feelings in until I die.”

“Are you serious?”

“Deadly.”

Spencer sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He yawned out his reply. “Just tell her you liked her like a normal person.”

“I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“What if…” Spencer sensed the change of tone in Warren’s voice and he now had his full attention. “What if she doesn't like me back. I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

Spencer bit his lip, debating on telling Warren what you had told him. Warren noticed Spencer's suspicious behavior and his eyes narrowed. “You know something.”

“No I don’t.”

“Yes you do.” Warren plopped onto the couch beside Spencer. “Tell me.”

“I’m not really supposed to-”

“Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me. Tell-”

“Okay!” Spencer huffed. Spencer looked around as if making sure you weren't there to overhear him. “She told me that she likes you.”

“WHAT?”

“Don’t yell, I still have a hangover.” Spencer groaned, pressing his fingers to his temple. He got you to take some aspirin, Warren followed.

“She likes me, since when??” Spencer bit his lip. Warren yanked his gatorade away. “How long has she liked me spencer?””

“Since high school.”

“WHAT?”

“Dude.” Spencer yanked his gatorade back. “I told you to stop yelling.”

“You knew that she liked me since high school and you never told me.”

“She made me promise not to tell.”

Warren glared at him. He wanted to be mad but the knowledge of you liking him outweighed his anger. “And you’re sure she still likes me?’

“Yeah.”

“Positive? This ain't something I can't take a risk on. I need to be one million percent sure.”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Seriously?” Spencer signed. Warren glared at him and he rolled his eyes. “Yes I’m sure she still likes you.”

Warren went up the stairs of the basement taking two at a time and yanking the door open. “Where are you going?” Spencer called up.

“To go see her.”

“But you don’t have a car. And it’s the middle of the night.”

“I don’t care and I don’t need one.” Warren slammed the door shut on his way out. Spencer winced and went to lay back down. “That idiot is going to run there.” He grumbled.

You woke up to hear pounding on your door. You were still in bed and your roommate went to answer the door. She took one look out before slamming it shut. “Who is it?” You asked.

“Your hot friend.”

You got up and opened it, Warren was on the other side, bent over and breathing really hard. “Warren?”

“Hey.” He wheezed out.

“Are you okay?”

“Mhmm.”

“You know it’s like 4 in the morning right?”

“Mhmm.”

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re really sweaty and you sound like you’re dying.”

“I’m good just give me a minute.”

“Do you wanna come in?” Warren glanced behind you and saw your roommate leaning back in her chair, trying to see what was going on.

“Nah. I-'' He took a deep breath before starting again. “I kinda want us to be alone for this.”

You closed the door behind you and leaned against it waiting for him to continue. Warren stood back up, pushing his sweaty hair out of his face. He was all disheveled, still dressed in his clothes from last night. But his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing his chest to you, you did you best not to look. “So.” He started off, looking down at the floor.

“So…”

“About last night.” Warren fiddled with the hem of his shirt. “I meant what I said.” He looked up to see your reaction, you were watching him with wide eyes silently asking him to continue. “I really like you, like a lot. And I have for a while now but I was too scared to admit it. I didn’t want to risk ruining our friendship.”

Your heart was beating out of your chest, you were pretty sure the whole dorm could hear it. “You… you like me?”

“Yeah.” Warren rubbed the nape of his neck, his brown eyes staring into your own, waiting to see your answer.

You smiled and glanced down at the floor. “I like you too.”

“Really?” His voice was hopeful, the edges of his lips curling into a smirk.

“Yeah.” You guys stared at each other like idiots with wide smiles on your faces.

“So…” Warren started again this time a little more brave. ‘Would you maybe like to go out sometime?”

“I would love to.”

Warren pumped his first in the air. “Yes!” You laughed and went to open the door to your dorm. “As much as I love confessing to you in the hallway it’s the middle of the night. You should probably get back to bed.” He nodded. “So I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah, I’ll call you later to set up our date.”

“Okay!”

You began to close the door before Warren rushed forward, he put his hands on the door frame, stopping you from closing it. “Wait! Can you uh, can you drive me home. I don't think I would survive running all the way back.”

“Sure.” you giggled, grabbing your keys and locking the door behind you. Warren smirked at you as you guys made our way down the hall.

“So what you’re saying is you’ll take me home tonight.” He sang the last part, winking at you. You pushed his shoulder.

“Don’t make me regret saying yes to going out with you.”

Taglist: @xxspqcebunsxx @coffeeandteaintheevening @kitwalkerangel @xmaximoffic @no-mercy-bby @evanmybeloved @livingmybestfictionallife

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specialagentsergio · 4 years ago

Text

baby kiss it better

summary: When D.C. implements a lockdown order, you and Spencer decide to quarantine together. There’s just one problem—he’s working from home, and his coworkers don’t know about you.

pairing: spencer reid x gn!reader

category: fluff

content warnings: a few swear words, but otherwise it’s just fluff

a/n: ahh, the secret partner trope. how i love it. this is set in 2020, but with the season 5 cast! i was feeling particularly self-indulgent, so i made reader a night shift worker. this is for you, fellow night owls. stay safe out there everyone, and wear a mask!

a/n 2: i don’t actually know what a doctor or physical therapist would recommend for spencer’s knee injury. this is just going on my basic understanding of anatomy (i took a class in it this fall!) and what i've seen on grey’s anatomy lol.

word count: 2.2k

masterlist

Spencer tries not to grimace as he shifts in his chair. Working from home during the lockdown had initially seemed like it came at a great time, starting just a month after his knee injury. Sure, he wasn’t thrilled about having to do almost everything digitally, but at least he wouldn’t have to worry about being mobile.

Unfortunately, that had turned out to be a downside. Tethered to his seat by headphones, he hasn’t been able to get up and stretch his leg properly, and as a result, is experiencing more pain.

It’s only 8:30, but he can already feel it flaring up. It’s been happening earlier every day, likely due to the existing irritation from the day before. Today is Thursday, and he’s miserable—he dreads to think of what tomorrow will be like.

He’s wondering if there’s some way he could get out of work tomorrow when he hears the sound of the front door being unlocked. He looks up to see you pushing the door open with your shoulder, carrying far too many grocery bags than is reasonable.

“Be careful!” he exclaims, watching as you teeter to the side a little. You just wave him off and close the door with your heel.

Working from home may not have been the positive he was expecting it to be, but you’ve more than made up for it. The two of you had decided to quarantine together, and he’s really loved having you around. Granted, you’ve only been here since Sunday, but he’s starting to think that this is going to end with him asking you to move in with him for good.

He hears a thunk as you dump all the groceries on the kitchen table. Then you’re back in the living room, taking off your mask as you walk by so you can blow him a kiss. He presses his knuckles to his mouth to hide his smile.

Usually you give him a proper cheek or forehead kiss when you get home, but the team doesn’t know about you yet. It’s not that he’s necessarily keeping you a secret, he just... likes having you to himself, and he doesn’t really want it to change just yet.

He’s also not looking forward to the pitch Garcia’s voice is going to hit when she finds out he’s been dating someone for over a year without telling her.

“Are you listening, Reid?” Hotch’s voice makes Spencer focus back in on the screen.

“Oh, y-yeah. Yeah, of course. Um, I was just thinking that this choice of rope to bind the victims is interesting.” He doles out a few facts about it, which seems to do an adequate job of convincing everyone that he’s paying attention.

They take a break when the main briefing is over—Jack needs something from Hotch and Sergio has apparently knocked something breakable off of Emily’s kitchen counter. He slides his headphones off and mutes his mic. Apparently that’s a cue you’ve been waiting for, because only a few moments later you’re placing a mug of tea on his desk.

“Green tea,” you say. “Might help reduce the inflammation in your knee.” Then you’re lifting his foot off the small stool it’s resting on and sliding another pillow under it so his leg is more elevated.

“Wh—“ he starts, but you’re already hurrying back into the kitchen. You come back with a baggie of ice wrapped in a dishtowel in your hands, which you place it gently on top of his knee.

“Twenty minutes on, twenty minutes off,” you say. “Then repeat with heat instead, like your physical therapist said. I’ll get the heating pad from the bedroom.”

“Hey, wait.” Spencer snags your wrists before you can walk away again. “How’d you know it was hurting?”

“Oh, I always know,” you reply. “You should have realized that by now.”

He thinks on that as you leave to get the heating pad, sipping his tea. You do always seem to just know, whether he’s in physical pain, a bad case is bothering him, or even if he’s just in a bad mood and doesn’t know why himself.

Not a day goes by where he doesn’t feel incredibly lucky to have you in his life.

“I’m leaving it by this outlet behind you. Have you been doing your stretches?”

He bites his lip, hesitating because he knows you won’t like the answer. But he doesn’t have to say it; you can tell from his expression.

“Spencer. You know you need to be doing them.”

“I know, I do,” he insists. “I just... can’t really get up and do them with these headphones.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Okay, so take them off. Your laptop has speakers.”

“But I don’t want to disturb you,” he protests. Since you work the night shift, you sleep during the day, usually heading to bed around 11 AM. He doesn’t want the noise from the Zoom calls to keep you up. Much like the bullpen in the FBI building, the calls can get rowdy.

“You won’t,” you assure. “I’ll just shut the bedroom door.”

“I guess that works,” he relents. “But I feel weird getting up and stretching in front of everyone. Like, wouldn’t that be disruptive?”

You sigh. “Spencer, I understand it’ll make you self-conscious, but you want full mobility in your knee again, right?”

“Yeah, I do, I get it,” he says sullenly, looking down into his mug. “I need to do the stretches if I want it to heal well.”

“Hey.” You take one of his hands and squeeze it. “I’m not trying to annoy you. I just want you to get better and be in less pain. I don’t like to see you hurting.”

“You’re not annoying me. I guess I’m just... not really used to being taken care of,” he admits quietly.

“Well, I’m gonna fix that.”

The confidence in your voice makes him unable to hold back a smile. “Alright.”

You smile back. “Is there anything else I can do?”

Spencer’s about to tell you that you’ve done plenty when an idea strikes him. He tilts his head to the side. “Well, there is something.”

“Yes?”

“There’s some research—nothing too substantial, but still some—that says kisses can help relieve pain,” he says.

You laugh, but it’s not unkind. “Oh, so you want me to kiss it better?”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, glancing away shyly.

“Okay, then.” You tuck his hair behind his ear and press a kiss to his forehead. “Better?” you ask softly.

He hums. “Better.”

“Good.” You stand back up and stretch. “Well, I’ll be awake for a few more hours, so let me know if you need anything.”

“I will.”

Spencer puts his headphones back on—he wants to wait to unplug them until you go to bed to spare you from hearing anything gruesome—and looks back at the screen to find Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Garcia staring him down. Rather hesitantly, he unmutes his mic and asks, “What?”

Emily is grinning—she looks the more awake than she has all morning. “Is there anything you wanna tell us?” she asks.

“Yeah, Spence,” JJ chimes in, “any new developments in your life?”

“I don’t—” he starts, then it hits him like a truck. He remembered to mute his mic, but the camera was still on. Clearly, they all saw you kiss his forehead. He barely stops himself from hitting his head against the table; he covers his face with his hands instead and groans.

“Isn’t the whole point of all this that we stay away from other people?” Morgan asks, and Spencer doesn’t have to look up to know that Derek has a shit-eating grin on his face.

“People outside of your household,” he corrects without thinking.

“Oh my god!” Garcia shrieks and he winces, pulling the headphones off out of instinct. He’s not the only one—JJ jumps and yanks her earbuds out, and Derek lifts one side of his headphones away from his ear. Spencer hesitantly copies him, putting one half of his headphones back on.

“Jesus, Pen, you scared the shit out of Sergio,” Emily’s saying.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” she says, then turns her attention completely to Spencer. “Boy wonder. You’re living with someone and I’m just now hearing about it?”

“I mean, you never asked,” he points out.

“Well, I didn’t think I’d have to!” she huffs. “You usually tell your friends if you’re seeing someone new, let alone living with them!”

“You do, maybe. Emily and I don’t,” he says.

Emily herself shrugs. “Good point. Fair enough, Reid.”

“Besides, we’re not living together,” he continues, “We’re quarantining together.”

“Right, because that’s such a big difference,” JJ teases. He glares at her in return.

Rossi returns to his desk before Penelope can start bombarding Spencer with questions. But there’s no reprieve for him—the man takes one look around and knows something’s up. “Okay, what’s going on?” he asks.

“We just found out pretty boy has a partner,” Morgan sing-songs before Spencer can say anything.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah.”

“And he didn’t tell any of us!” Garcia adds.

Spencer groans again and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. “This is exactly why I didn’t say anything,” he mutters.

A knocking sound draws his attention away from the call. You’re standing in the bedroom doorway, your hand resting on the doorframe. “You okay?” you ask. “I just heard you groan.”

Spencer mutes his mic again and then leans over so he’s out of the camera’s frame. “They found out,” he sighs.

“Found out what?”

“Found out about... you.”

Realization crosses your face. “They saw me kissing you better?”

“Yeah. I forgot the camera was still on,” he says sheepishly.

“Well, it was bound to happen eventually.” You make your way over to him and take the ice off his knee. “It’s been twenty minutes, by the way.”

“Thanks. So, um...” He picks up the fidget toy you bought him when he was going stir-crazy in the hospital and starts messing with it. “What do you wanna do about this?”

“Whatever you’re most comfortable with,” you reply immediately.

“Okay, good answer,” he says. “But I actually want to know how you feel about this.”

“Well, I’m fine with meeting them, even if it’s just over Zoom. But if you’d rather wait, I’m fine with that, too. Really,” you add when he raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, well.” Spencer looks back at the screen. Hotch has returned now, and even though he can’t hear anything, it’s clear they’re all waiting on him. Best to just do this now, he thinks, otherwise I’ll be hearing about it all day. “How would you feel about meeting them right now?”

You blink. “Um, okay. So long as you don’t mind me looking like I was up all night, because, you know... I was.”

“You look fine,” he reassures. “Uh, just stay put for a second. Let me ask if this is okay.”

He readjusts to sit in his chair properly. He starts to put his headphones back on, but you unplug them so you can hear what’s happening.

“You ready to continue, Reid?” Hotch asks. It’s business as usual with him—if he was told what happened earlier, Spencer can’t tell.

“Well, actually,” he starts, and nervousness bubbles up in his chest. He glances up and you give him a reassuring smile. “Actually, I was wondering if I could introduce you guys to someone first?”

Garcia squeals. “Ooh, sir, please say yes!”

“Just keep it quick,” Hotch says. He didn’t even hesitate—they totally told him.

Spencer takes a deep breath, then gestures for you to come over. You seem a little nervous as well, but you handle it well, walking around the desk and into the frame. “Oh, we should have gotten you something to sit on,” he laments when you lean over the back of his chair.

“It’s fine.” You drape your arms around his shoulders and adjust so your head is on the same level as his. It’s silent for a moment, then you say, “Well, introduce me, silly.”

“Oh!” He clears his throat, trying to ignore the heat he feels in his cheeks. “Um, this is (Y/N). My... my partner.”

The call explodes with greetings, everyone talking over each other. “Slow down, slow down,” Spencer pleads. This is all overwhelming enough—he doesn’t need any excess stimuli.

Once it settles, everyone takes their turn introducing themselves (you already know who they all are, though, as he’s told you so much about them). Then you field a few questions—what you do for work, how you met, what your favorite food is (that was Rossi—Spencer suspects that he wants to know for the first dinner party he can hold after quarantine is over).

It’s going well. Everyone seems to like you, and you’re getting by just fine. Until Garcia asks her question, that is.

“So, (Y/N), how long has boy wonder been keeping you a secret from us?”

Both of you tense. “Uh, you know what, I’ll let him answer that,” you say quickly. “It’s just about time for me to go to bed.”

“Wha—no. No, it’s not. It’s just barley past nine,” Spencer protests.

“Yeah, I’m really tired. I’m gonna try and get some extra sleep today.” You give a little wave. “It was nice meeting you all.”

“Don’t leave me,” he whispers desperately. “Not with that question.”

You feign a yawn. “Sorry, I’m just too tired.”

He watches you go back to the bedroom with a pout.

“Well?” Garcia insists when he looks back at her.

Spencer cringes and preemptively lowers his computer volume.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid #fluff #my fic #yes i watch grey's what about it

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spencer-reids-adventures · 3 years ago

Text

this is a follow-up to this post, for @dubiouswriter, because the comfort part is important to me, too <3

Hotch spends hours waiting in the emergency room, alone. The team has to keep working the case, and Hotch promises to let them know as soon as he has any information.

Finally, a doctor comes out to speak to him.

"He's going to be okay," are the first words out of his mouth, and Hotch almost falls to his knees with relief. The doctor reaches out to steady him. This is clearly not his first rodeo.

"Can I see him?" Hotch asks.

He needs to know I understand, he thinks.

"You can," the doctor says. "He'll need to stay in ICU for awhile, so he'll only be able to have the one visitor until he's moved. But I need you to know that this is only the beginning of his journey, Mr. ..."

"Hotchner. Agent Hotchner."

"Agent Hotchner, we found some abnormalities with Spencer's test results once we were able to get him stabilized. I want to run further tests once he's awake. Has he been having medical issues of late?"

"He's been having headaches," Hotch says, frowning. "He told me the doctors couldn't find a reason."

"We're going to keep looking," this doctor assures him. "And when he does wake up, we can get a better idea of what kind of addiction treatment he'll be needing moving forward. Like I said, this is only the beginning of the journey."

"I understand," Hotch says, and the doctor leads him to Spencer's room.

Hotch texts the team to let them know that Spencer will be all right, but he can't have any more visitors right now, so they need to keep working the case. They all send their love, of course, and Hotch keeps the phone at the ready for whenever Spencer wakes up.

When he does, his face slowly transitions from sleepy to confused to horrified as he realizes where he is and who he's with. He opens his mouth as if to speak, but no words come out.

"I'm so glad you're all right," Hotch says. "You had us so worried, Spencer. Nobody's mad at you. We just want to help."

"I'm so sorry," Spencer finally whispers. "I didn't mean for this to happen. It was the headaches, it was the only way to..."

"Shh, it's okay," Hotch reassures him. "The doctors here are looking into the headaches as well, okay? They want to do more tests."

"They don't think I'm crazy?"

"No, I don't think so," Hotch says with a small smile.

"Does the team know?"

"They know you're here, and they know you're alive," Hotch says. "They won't be able to see you until you're out of ICU. I guess you're stuck with me until then."

"Can't really think of anyone else I'd rather be with," Spencer says. "Were you the one that, um... found me?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry you saw that."

"I'm sorry you went through it."

"Hotch," Spencer says, fighting back tears. "I'm scared."

"I know," Hotch says, standing up and moving to the side of the bed, taking Spencer's hand in his own. "I know. But you're not alone, okay? I'm not going anywhere."

#cw drug overdose #spencer reid #aaron hotchner #maya's spencer whump collection

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youresog0lden · 4 years ago

Text

Call Out My Name || S.R

Word Count: 2.1K

Summary: being kidnapped was never easy and neither was being in love

Tagging: @doctorthreephds

Warnings: cursing, kidnapping, nightmares, mentions of being kidnapped.

Masterlist

Based off this post

I never thought it was going to be like this. To end up in the situation, in which a sadistic man kidnaps three federal agents, holds them hostage and makes them spill their darkest secrets. In which I also didn’t know that I was going to tell the only person I’ve ever loved that I loved him, in front of the girl he was in love with and, it is true I am completely and hopelessly in love with Spencer Reid. From the countless times we spent night on his or my couch watching Disney movies together or, when we would talk about stupid memories from our childhood, to times when he would cry to me about being scared of what his future would be like. I never in a million years thought I would be sitting on the floor hands tied together, feet tied together, tears spilling out of my eyes, and seeing Spencer and JJ sitting on the floor the same way. Broken glass and the numbing of my wrists were the only things I could feel right now. I wanted so badly to scream and shout. I wanted so bad to escape but being held at gunpoint won’t let me be able to do that. I wish I would’ve stayed with Emily, but I insisted I came with them. Is that selfish of me? It might be but it would be better than being here.

“Okay so who’s going to start. We don’t have all night agents.” his voice was harsh. “Hmm, you.” he points his gun at JJ.

“Start spilling or-” he takes a minute to look between Spencer and I. “He’s dead.” his gun pointed at Spencer. My eyes went wide, looking around for anything, anyway to get out of this.

“Doll, we don’t have all day. I’m starting to get impatient.” I look the guy in the eyes before taking a deep breath.

“My deepest secret is that I wish I never joined the BAU.”

“Hmm. Not good enough, elaborate.” he smiled a crooked smile. I look at Spencer as he furrows his brows at me wondering what she was talking about.

“I wish I never joined that BAU because I wouldn’t have fallen in love with someone I shouldn’t have.”

“Who.” he jabbed, I looked at Spencer, then at JJ, then right back at Spencer. The ringing sounded throughout the room. I hear Spencer let out a yelp, when the bullet barely missed his leg and went straight to the floor.

“Spencer. I’m in love with Spencer.” she cried my eyes rushing to look anywhere but his right now. My eyes went wide as I felt a few tears prickle. I sat there just looking between them watching Spencer just sit there and stare at JJ with so much disbelief in his face. I mean who couldn’t the girl he was in love with just told him she was in love with him.

“Good now-” before he could say anything another ringing sound was in the room. The smoke was filling the room, seeing it come from Spencer's hands, holding a gun.

“Come on let’s go.” JJ said, lifting up Spencer and walking out holding him up. I let out a long awaited sigh and stood up walking to the exit. I watch the swat team come into the building along with the medics. I take a step out into the cold winter air letting it hit my face.

“Y/N are you okay?” Emily walked up to me, putting her hand on my shoulder.

“Ye-” I watched them hugging tightly. “Yeah, sorry I’m fine. I just think I really need some sleep.” I sighed. It didn’t take long before everyone was walking back to the jet, happy that no one got injured badly. Everyone sat on the plane making small talk, trying to defuse the tension. I just sat there staring at the ground, trying to get my mind off of what just went on. JJ was in love with Spencer and I couldn’t tell. I mean she did tell me her and Will were having some troubles right now, and her and Spencer had been hanging out a lot, and the way she looks at him. I’ve seen it somewhere I just can’t pinpoint it. I’ve seen that look before. It’s the look of hope, the look of being in love with someone. It’s the look I’ve given Spencer a thousand times. I was supposed to be a profiler and I couldn’t even see this coming. I felt my eyes get watery once again so I lay against my hands and try to go to sleep.

After some much needed sleep, I feel someone trying to wake me up. I let out a loud yawn and meet the eyes of the one and only Luke Alvez.

“It’s time to get up. We’re home.” I nod, grabbing my to-go back and walk off the jet. I don’t say anything to the team but a wave goodbye and quickly walk to my car. I sit in my car for a second before I can’t stop the tears. They start coming out, letting out loud sobs, and whimpers. I felt hopeless, I had no chance of being with him. I start my car, my hands shaking as I get to the apartment complex. Starting a long and treacherous night. I get to my apartment and unlock the door before sliding against it and bringing my knees up to my chest, letting out loud sobs.

12:00 P.M

My head was spinning, my throat was dry, my heart was heavy. I sat at the table looking through all the team photos, the photos of Spencer and I. Everything seemed so off recently and I was never able to tell. Going through the photos made my heart hurt more and more. Photos of Spencer holding my hands, kissing my cheeks, and holding me. It doesn’t take long before the tears start up again, and I’m all alone in my thoughts.

1:00 A.M

I’ve tried to sleep, but every time I fall asleep I see him, and her, and that place and I wake up screaming, with no one to hold me. To comfort me when I need it. I think about calling Spencer but I decide against it. He probably has a lot going on too. So I’m trying to go to sleep again.

2:00 A.M

“Stop, please stop. I need him here.” my body was twisting in my sleep, sweat drenching off of me.

“Please, kill me. Not him, kill me instead.” tears we’re on my cheeks.

“I don’t think so, doll.” I jumped up, crying harder.

3:00 A.M

My neighbors checked on me. They said I woke them up screaming and needed to make sure I was alright. I told them I was fine, just a bad dream and I’m sorry for waking them. I didn’t want to chance that again so I sat at my couch and stared at my t.v. Nothing was playing, no sound was coming from the apartment. It was cold and irey and I didn’t know why.

4:00 A.M

My eyes are getting heavier, but every time I close my eyes I see him and the shop again. I see Spencer smiling with her. Everything just seemed to be about him, but now my eyes feel heavy and I’m fast asleep.

11:00 A.M

I woke up to someone shaking me awake. When my eyes do finally open then I look up to see a very worried Spencer looking over me.

“What- what are you doing here.” I groaned sitting up.

“We have a case, Emily tried to call you, so did JJ.” I winced when her name came out of his mouth. He didn’t say anything but it didn’t go unnoticed.

“I um-” I was looking around my room for my phone, trying to find it. “I don’t know where my phone is.” I sit on my table, trying to fully wake up.

“ ‘s okay. We all had a rough day yesterday. Emily said and I quote ‘I get it if you guys want to take some time off. That is understandable.’ but you never texted her back or me. I tried to call you. I was worried. I didn’t get to talk to you after… everything.” he looked at me.

“How are you doing.” his hand went to my arm. I sigh at the touch, I wanted so badly to be mad at him but he’s here right now.

“It was a rough night. I couldn’t really sleep without-” I cleared my throat.

“Without having this nightmare.” I looked into his eyes.

“What kind of nightmare.” he rubbed his hand up and down my arm.

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“Y/N just talk to me.” he sighed softly.

“I had a dream... we were back in that place but it was just us and the unsub.”

“Us?”

“You and me.”

“He- he was trying to kill you, I begged him multiple times not too, but he didn’t care he shot you dead and told me it was my fault. All my fault and that I didn’t tell him a good enough secret.” I cried.

“Hey, Y/N. You’re okay. I’m here.” his hands wrap around my waist.

“I’m right here.”

“Then I- I had another dream.”

“Okay, tell me about it.”

“He made you choose.”

“He made me choose? Between?” I looked at him for a second. “JJ and I.”

“That’s crazy why would I have to choose-” he stopped mid sentence and looked at me. It was like everything from the past night had finally made sense.

“Do you love me?” his eyes snapped to mine. I looked down, his hand moving to my chin to lift it up.

“Y/N.”

“Yes.” it was barely audible. He let out a little smile.

“Why are you smiling.”

“I just- I never thought someone like you would fall for someone like me.”

“Are you crazy.” my eyes finally met his. “Spencer you are charming, caring, one of the sweetest people I have ever met. You care for everyone and anyone. You have one of the biggest hearts out there. You are so so smart, and anyone would be more than lucky to have you. Especially JJ.” my last part was quiet but I know he heard it.

“Why would I choose JJ.”

“Because she is so much smarter, prettier, can handle so much more than me. She is so much of a better person than I am.” I look down once again.

“Y/N I don’t ever want to hear that. You are one of the sweetest people I know. You always put someone else before yourself. You are so beautiful, and you are so strong. If you weren’t as strong as I know you are you wouldn’t be doing this job. Y/N please don’t ever doubt yourself because I love you. I know I don’t act like it sometimes especially yesterday but we all had a lot going on. I just needed to sort out my mind. Y/N maybe if you asked me ten years ago who I would choose you or her. I might choose her, but today if you were to ask me who I would choose it would be you. No hesitations. I’ve loved you for the past five years. Every time I needed someone who was the person by my side. When I needed a shoulder to cry on one who was there. When I was scared for what was going on, what was going to happen to me. Who was the one by my side. When I just needed some food and wanted someone to talk to, or what about when I wanted to watch Star Trek and everyone else said it was too nerdy and you sat there and told them how good the movie was. Who was there. Because it wasn’t JJ, it wasn’t Derek, it wasn’t Emily. No it was you. You are my partner in crime. How can I not love you. How can anyone not love you.” tears by now were streaming down my face, his thumbs wiping off every tear.

“I wish you would’ve told me sooner.”

“I was scared.” i laugh quietly

“Of what?”

“That you wouldn’t feel the same way.”

“Was it not obvious.” I look at him

“No.”

“Oh well in that case.” I grab his face pulling his lips to meet mine. After a few minutes we pull away.

“I love you.” I laugh.

“I love you too.” and his lips are on mine again.

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #CRIMINAL MINDS FANDOM #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler smut #mgg x reader #Luke Alvez #tara lewis #Jenifer Jareau #emily

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fortheloveofwonderland · 2 years ago

Text

What Lies in Our Anatomy | S.R | Part 3/3

Previous Part

A/N - if you watch Grey’s you might notice my take on a Meredith/George storyline and a Sloan/Lexie one.

Summary - a face from Spencer’s past shakes everything to its core and forces him to make a choice. And what happens if you aren’t it?

Warnings - allusions to sex (both fem/male and male/male), confessed feelings, reader freaks out, angst followed by fluff followed by more angst, swearing, use of “whore”, secrets come to light, talks of Spencer’s sexuality, brief mentions of reader x Luke, hospitals and details of sexual injury, drinking.

Word Count - 8.4K

Part Three - As We Know It

February - Four Months Ago

You’d never celebrated Valentine's Day before and never really felt a need to.

But when you showed up at Spencer’s on February fourteenth to find his apartment decorated like Cupid’s Grotto, you had a very quick change of heart.

“What on earth is all of this?” You laughed taking in the over the top decorations filling his home.

“Do you like it?” He beamed, happiness flooding from his every pore.

You took it all in. He really had gone all out.

Heart shaped balloons were tied to the backs of chairs, lamps, door handles and every other piece of furniture he could tie the string to.

Rose petals scoured almost every inch of his floor from the front door to the bedroom and all over the bed. Dozens of bouquets of an array of flowers were in vases dotted about the apartment, enough to fill a florist's shop.

A teddy bear almost the size of you sat on the couch holding a red heart stitched with the words, “I can’t BEAR to be without you.”

And in the middle of it all stood Spencer, clad only in a pair of red silk boxers, holding a single rose between his teeth.

“You’re crazy, you know that right?” You chuckled, slipping off your jacket and folding it over the back of the couch.

“I’m crazy about you. I know that much.” He smirked around the rose as you stepped through rose petals to get to him.

“No one’s ever…you’re amazing.” You pulled the rose from between his teeth, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him.

“I’ve never been into Valentine’s. But this year I made an exception.” He sighed in content.

You tore your lips away from his and took hold of his hand.

“I’ve never done it on rose petals before.” You smirked wildly at him as you tugged him to follow you towards the bedroom.

He was quick to get you undressed and lay you down on the bed of petals. He made you come so many times your head felt as though it was full of cotton wool when you were finished.

Your eyes were fluttering closed after several hours spent between the sheets. Spencer chucked around a piece of chocolate he’d popped in his mouth.

“You are so goddamn beautiful.” He whispered, reaching over to stroke your cheek.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” You smiled sleepily as he leant in to give you a kiss. His lips tasted like chocolate.

“Goddamn, Y/N.” He sighed against your lips. “I am so in love with you.”

His words crashed harshly against your ears and spiralled towards your brain. You suddenly felt wide awake, like someone had shocked you with defibrillator paddles.

You sat back from him, staring at him wide eyed. He was smiling at you, clearly not realising what he’d said.

“You…uh…what?” You croaked, shuffling back on the bed.

Spencer’s face fell as he came to formulate the words he’d just said out loud.

“I…I didn’t mean for it to…I didn’t mean…I did mean it I just…I…I…” his brain short circuited and he couldn’t form a coherent sentence.

But it didn’t matter because you weren’t listening. The only thing going around your brain were the words he’d spoken against your lips.

I am so in love with you.

You slipped out of the bed and started getting dressed, well and truly in panic mode.

“Y/N…” Spencer shuffled closer to you as you robotically threw your clothes on.

“I have to go.” Your voice was monotone.

“Y/N, don’t freak out. I’m sorry, it’s too soon. Just pretend I didn’t say anything.” He pushed himself to his feet and gripped you by the shoulders.

Usually his touch combined with the sight of his naked body was enough to ground you. But not this time.

“I have to go.” You repeated, stepping back from his hold and continuing to get your clothes on.

“Please don’t go. Please.” He begged you, his eyes like a puppy dog.

You finished dressing, shaking your head at nothing in particular and trying to locate your shoes.

You padded out of the room in a daze, feeling rose petals sticking to your bare feet and trying to ignore the balloons and flowers and giant bear.

“Y/N, talk to me!” He ran after you into the living room, not giving much care to the fact he was naked.

“Got to…got to go.” You found your shoes and slipped them on your feet, before finding your coat on the back of the couch.

“You’re just going to walk out?” He huffed in frustration. “I told you I’m in love with you and you’re just walking away?”

You turned to him slowly, eyes wide like a deer in headlights.

“It was just supposed to be a fling.” You croaked out, turning quickly again and hurrying towards the door.

Spencer had nothing left to say so he just watched you go.

He watched you walk out the door, taking a piece of his heart along with you.

***

For two hours Spencer sat on the couch in nothing but his stupid silk boxers and stared at the even more stupid heart sharpened balloons.

The idiotic bear sat beside him, mocking him.

He was a complete moron.

It was the story of his life, falling too fast and too hard. He’d married Ethan when he barely knew the man. And now he’d gone and fallen in love with you when you’d seen it as nothing more than a fling.

Wasn’t he supposed to be a genius?

He half wanted to destroy all the stupid Valentine’s stuff but he didn’t have the energy to do so. Unrequited love was draining.

He spent two hours mentally berating himself for being so dumb, so wrapped up in his detrimental thoughts he didn’t hear the key in the lock or the door open.

“It was never just a fling.” Your croaky voice startled him and he jumped up from the couch and spun around to face you.

You had tear stains down your cheeks and your eyes were red rimmed.

“It was never just a fling.” You repeated while he stared at you. “The reason I didn’t give you my number after that first night was because I knew you were the kind of man I could fall in love with. And I didn’t want that. I needed to focus on work and not get distracted by a man. But it could never be just a fling with you.”

“I’m sorry I freaked you out. I honestly didn’t mean to blurt out like that. But it is how I feel. I’m in love with you.” He shrugged meekly.

There was no point in lying, no point in taking it back. It was out there now. If he lost you because you couldn’t handle his feelings then so be it. He wasn’t hiding them.

“I’m sorry I freaked out.” You whispered, cautiously stepping towards him across the rose petals that still riddled the floor. “No one’s ever said that to me before.”

Spencer’s brows furrowed deeply.

“No one?”

“Not in a romantic way. My parents have, obviously, but not a man. I never really dated, I was too focused on school and college and then the academy. I’ve had flings but never anything serious. So no, no man has ever said that to me before and I got scared.”

“I find it hard to believe no one has ever been in love with you. You’re so easy to love.” He chewed on his lip.

“So are you.” You stepped closer, but stopped a few feet from him.

You saw him processing your words, the way the look in his eyes kept changing as he read between the lines.

“Are you…are you saying…?” He trailed off.

“Yes.” You laughed lightly. “I am stupidly in love with you Spencer.”

He quickly closed the space between you and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

You melted into him as always, wrapping your arms around his waist and resting your head on his bare chest.

He held you so closely, as though afraid you might change your mind.

The two of you stood like this in the middle of the Valentine’s grotto for some time, just relishing in being close to one another.

Falling in love with Spencer Reid had been inevitable. And you knew you’d never be able to stop.

***

March - Three Months Ago

He watched from the shadows like a hunter stalking his prey. Lurking. Waiting.

He wasn’t deliberately creeping, it hadn’t been his intention. But it was late and all the lights on the floor were off aside from the small glow from the desk lamp in the middle office.

From where he stood it wasn’t bright enough to reveal himself. But it was enough for him to see what was going on through the window of the office.

Messy curly hair that bounced softly with his movements. His profile was cast in light, showcasing his sharp angles. The dips and curves of his body were on full display.

He saw the way the other man’s muscles tightened each time his body shifted. The way they tensed and flexed with each motion.

The lamp was luminous enough for him to see the way the man’s body reacted every time he thrust himself into the naked body sprawled out on his desk.

He could make out legs wrapped around the man’s waist, breasts heaving up and down with each pound.

The woman’s face was obscured from view, in the shadows but the man fucking her was as clear as day.

He watched for longer than he should have, longer than he wanted to look. The better half of his brain was begging him to leave but he couldn’t get his limbs to cooperate.

When the other man threw his head back and his lips parted with a soft moan, he finally tore his eyes away from the scene and retreated further back into the shadows.

The room was silent apart from the occasional heavy breath or moan permeating the quiet.

And as he backed further away, the last thing he heard was a female voice lamenting, “oh fuck, Spencer, I’m gonna come.”

***

Nine Hours Later

Spencer rubbed his eyes and took another long sip of his coffee as he stared down at his desk.

It had been the middle of the night when he’d finally gotten home and he’d only had a few hours sleep. It was going to be a long day.

The two of you had done it so often on his desk that even looking at the item of furniture caused his cock to stir in his pants. Although now covered in paperwork, a few hours ago you’d been on that desk, legs spread just for him.

A shiver passed up his spine as he fell down into his chair and willed himself not to grow hard thinking of the activities that took place here last night.

He’d be fired so fast if anyone knew how he used his office after hours.

***

You fixed yourself another coffee in the small kitchen whilst stifling a yawn. Spending your nights with Spencer was getting the better of you.

You weren’t sure why the two of you insisted on hooking up in his office so often when you both had apartments with perfectly good beds. Your back was in tatters after spending another night being fucked over his desk.

But god, was it worth it.

You picked up your mug, another yawn leaving your lips as Tara stepped in the kitchen looking much brighter than you.

“Late night?” She teased you, her eyes sparkling a little.

“Something like that.” You nodded.

“I am dying to meet this mystery man.” She spoke as she headed to the coffee machine.

You felt your chest tighten the way it always did when someone mentioned the mysterious man you were hooking up with.

Since your birthday and the gift from your secret admirer, the team hadn’t stopped badgering you about him.

You told them it was casual and that you weren’t ready for the team to meet him. You didn’t miss the looks sent your way by Rossi and Blake.

Since then they'd all been bombarding you with questions about your secret man. It was awkward at first but you’d learnt how to control your facial expressions and everyone was none the wiser that you were sleeping with your boss.

“Hmm, maybe one day.” You shrugged, stepping out of the kitchen and heading towards your desk.

You set your coffee down on the desk but before you could slip into your chair, a voice behind you startled you slightly.

“Hi there.”

You spun on your heels so fast you almost toppled over.

A man stood behind you with a friendly smile and large, kind eyes.

“Uh hi?” You swallowed, glancing down at the visitor's badge hanging around his neck.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He chuckled and it was such a nice sound your defences instantly lowered.

“It’s ok,” you laughed too. “Clearly I haven’t had enough coffee yet. Can I help you with something?”

The stranger eyed you up and down, his eyes slowly and carefully raking up your body and you felt your chest tighten again but in a completely different way this time.

“Sorry,” he shook his head when his eyes landed back on your face. “That was incredibly unsubtle of me.”

You felt your cheeks burning and you hoped to god he couldn’t tell.

“It’s fine.” You chewed on your bottom lip.

His black hair was swept off his face and his beard was neatly trimmed. He wore a navy button down with the top few buttons undone, more black hair peeking out from his chest. His jeans were tight fitting and paired with a shiny pair of brogues.

“You’re very beautiful.” The stranger blurted out and your eyes widened at his forwardness.

“Uh…thanks?” You swallowed.

“Oh god, I am so sorry! That was incredibly inappropriate of me. I’m told I have no filter, sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

“No, no it’s ok.” You insisted.

He smiled softly at you, reaching forward and placing his hand on your bare arm.

You hoped it wasn’t completely obvious that you were practically melting into a puddle.

“What’s your name?” He asked, his warm hand on your skin causing your brain to short circuit.

“Y/N.” You choked out.

“Suits you.” He smirked slightly. “It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N. Im Et-“

He was cut off by the sound of a door opening and then a voice bellowed across the bullpen.

“Sorry to ruin your mornings but we have a…” Spencer trailed off when his eyes landed on the man still with his hand on your arm.

He felt his stomach coil into knots and his heart seemed to stop beating entirely.

He clenched his jaw as the man glared up at him, stepping back from you folding his arms across his chest.

“Round table room. I’ll be right there.” Spencer choked out, frozen in his doorway while the other agents made their way up to the round table room.

You hung back, concerned by the look that Spencer was trying so hard to hide from his features.

He slowly made his way down the stairs once everyone else was in the meeting room, never taking his eyes off of the stranger.

Once he was close enough he spoke to you without looking at you.

“Go with the others Y/N, I’ll be right there.”

“What’s going on? Are you ok, Spence?” You frowned, looking between the two men who were seemingly in the middle of a stare off.

The dark haired stranger was the one to finally end it, tearing his eyes off Spencer to look back at you.

Seconds felt like hours as he stared at you, his expression unreadable.

You looked between him and Spencer who looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

And when the stranger finally spoke, your world came crashing down in an instant from one simple sentence.

“Oh, so you’re the bitch who’s screwing my husband?” The stranger shook his head in frustration.

To say his words were like a freight train colliding with you was an understatement.

All the air left your lungs and your heart raced so rapidly it felt like it might just beat right out of your chest.

Your eyes widened and darted between the stranger and Spencer.

“I…you…what?” You croaked, eyes begging Spencer for an explanation.

Suddenly the stranger started to chuckle, but it wasn’t as nice a sound as it was earlier.

“Of course, you didn’t tell her.” The man rolled his eyes, looking back at Spencer.

“You need to leave.” Spencer spat at the other man. “You need to leave right now.”

“But I haven’t formally introduced myself to your little whore.” The man turned back to you again. “I’m Ethan. Ethan Reid. And you already know my husband…intimately.”

“Sp-Spencer?” You looked at Spencer, desperate for a justification in which this man was lying.

But the look on his face said it all.

Ethan was not lying.

“I’m sorry.” Spencer choked out. “I’m so sorry.”

Your mouth opened to speak but no words came out. Your eyes flicked between Spencer and Ethan rapidly while you tried to blink back tears.

“You’re sorry to her?” Ethan scoffed. “What about me?”

“What are you even doing here, Ethan?” Spencer growled at him.

Meanwhile you felt like the Earth was shattering around you.

Your vision started to blur from your tears and your head began to pound violently out of nowhere.

You stumbled backwards, breathing heavily. You bumped against your desk and used it to steady yourself.

Somehow Spencer was right in front of you, gripping your shoulders.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” His voice was distant.

“Don’t…don’t touch me.” You pushed him away, stumbling again.

“Y/N, let me explain…”

“You’re married, what’s to explain?”

“It’s not as straightforward as that. We-“

“I don’t want to hear it.” You cut him off. “Fuck you Spencer.”

You spun on your heels as fast as you could and ignoring Spencer calling after you, you fled the bullpen.

You hurried down the six flights of stairs as fast as your trembling legs would carry you. By the time you reached the parking lot, tears were streaming down your face.

You didn’t make it to your car before you collapsed in a fit of sobs on the tarmac.

***

Spencer went to go after you, making it to the glass doors before Ethan’s voice halted him in his tracks.

“Really? You’re going after her?” He spat as Spencer reached for the door handle. “You’re going after your little whore instead of your fucking husband?”

Spencer turned back to him, glaring darkly at Ethan.

“Don’t you dare call her that.” Spencer growled.

“She was sleeping with a married man, that makes her a whore in my book.” Ethan folded his arms.

“You just established she didn’t know. I didn’t tell her about you. And talk about pot calling the kettle black, Ethan! You and Amelia slept together behind my back so in my book that makes you both whores, not Y/N.” He raised his voice as he marched back towards Ethan. “How did you even know?”

“I got into town late last night. I came looking for you here knowing what a workaholic you are. Can you guess what I saw going on in your office?” Ethan spat.

Spencer’s face momentarily paled, nostrils flaring, knowing exactly what Ethan would have seen.

“Well,” Spencer corrected himself. “I guess we’re even now we’ve both had to walk in on each other fucking someone else.”

“You run off to DC without even talking to me about what happened and immediately start shacking up with someone else? You should have talked to me but instead you just left! You buried your head in the sand, ran away from your problems the way you always do!” Ethan’s voice raised to meet Spencer’s.

“I couldn’t look at you, let alone talk to you! Looking at you now makes me feel sick. You cheated on me Ethan, I slept with someone else after I left your ass. It’s not the same.”

“You left me? Well sorry but I never got that memo.”

“I would have thought it was clear.” Spencer felt his anger pulsing through his body.

Ethan opened his mouth to respond but the sound of a door opening and heels clicking on the wooden floor caused him to stop short.

“Is everything ok, boss?”

Spencer looked up to see Garcia looking between him and Ethan in concern.

Spencer momentarily swallowed his anger before he addressed her.

“Fine, Garcia. Present the case, I’ll be with you shortly.” He kept his voice measured as he spoke to the bubbly blonde but she knew something was bothering him.

But she also knew better than to ask.

Nodding, she turned around and scurried back into the round table room.

“You need to leave. Go back to New York, Ethan, you shouldn’t be here.” Spencer spoke calmer than before.

“I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me. And I mean talk, not bark.” Ethan stubbornly folded his arms.

“I have a job Ethan. Do you remember what one of those is?” Spencer snarled at his husband. “It’s the thing that afforded you a nice house and all your expensive music equipment.”

“Go work your stupid case. But I’ll be here when you’re done. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” Ethan stood his ground, choosing not to rise to Spencer’s obvious attempt to rile him.

He watched Spencer’s jaw clenched tightly.

“You’re wasting your time. I have nothing left to say to you.” Spencer spat before he turned his back on Ethan and skulked away.

***

Three days later you were still hauled up in your apartment while the team had been away on a case.

In those three days you’d remained in bed, crying more tears than you thought was possible.

It had been eight months. Eight fucking months since the night you first met Spencer. Eight months of seeing him damn near every single day and he had never once mentioned the fact he was married. Or that he was bisexual.

Admittedly there had never been a need for him to bring up his sexuality. He was sleeping with you so it never needed to come up whether he was straight or bisexual.

But he was married. He had a fucking husband and he’d never felt the need to tell you.

Had it all been a lie? When he told you he loved you, was it all just a deception?

How could this be happening? It all felt like some kind of sick joke. The man you’d fallen in love with was married. That made you a mistress, a whore just like his husband had called you.

More tears somehow wormed their way out of your eyes and soon you were sobbing loudly into your damp pillow.

Everything hurt. How the hell could he do this to you? How could he do this to his husband?

You were sobbing so loudly you didn’t hear the key turning in the lock or the footsteps padding across your living room.

When you felt the weight of the bed shift beneath you, you jumped, wide eyed and heart racing.

But anger replaced the shock when you saw the large, sad brown and gold eyes staring at you.

“Get out.” You spat, wiping your tears on your sweater sleeve. “Get the fuck out right now!”

Spencer didn’t move. He stayed vigil on the bed, slowly shaking his head.

“No, we need to talk.” He croaked.

His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under his eyes were blacker than ever. His hair seemed to have lost its bounce and just hung lifelessly.

“You lied to me for months.” You jumped out of the bed and to your feet.

“I didn’t…I didn’t lie.” He spoke calmly, running his fingers over the bed sheet. “I just didn’t tell you the truth.”

“Semantics, Spencer. How could you not tell me you’re married!” You raised your voice and you saw Spencer recoil a little.

“Because it’s not as simple as that.”

“Yes it is!” You yelled. “You are currently married, correct? You are not divorced, you are, at this moment in time, still married?”

“Yes.” He chewed on his lip.

“Then it really is simple.”

He sighed, pushing himself to his feet.

“He cheated on me.” He swallowed the lump that formed saying that out loud. “I found him in bed with my best friend. I left New York when I found out. I left him. So although I am technically still married, Ethan and I weren’t together when I met you.”

“You should have told me. Maybe not after one night together, but when you started taking me on dates and telling me you loved me, you should have told me about him!” Your body started to tremble with rage.

“I know. I know I should have.” He agreed sadly.

“So why didn’t you?”

“Because I was scared. I was scared you wouldn’t understand. I was scared you’d end things and I didn’t want to lose you.” He felt tears gathering behind his eyes so he sniffed to try and keep them at bay.

“Ironic.” You scoffed. “Now you’re going to lose me because you didn’t tell me.”

“Don’t say that.” Spencer shook his head, stepping closer to you. “Please don’t say that.”

“You’re married, Spencer.”

“Not as far as I’m concerned.” He shook his head again. “I’ll make it clear to him that it’s you I want. I’ll divorce him, I’ll do whatever it takes!”

His tears overflowed and you hated that you felt sorry for him. He didn’t deserve your pity.

But nonetheless you felt yourself soften.

“I want to know everything.” You lowered your voice but your tone was still stern.

“About me and Ethan?” Spencer frowned.

“Yes.”

“I don’t think that’s going to help anything.”

“I don’t care. You owe me an explanation. So you’re going to tell me everything.”

The last thing Spencer wanted to do was talk to you about his relationship with Ethan, but he also wasn’t in a position to argue with you.

He fell back to the bed and you slowly came over and sat down too, leaving plenty of space between the two of you.

He raked his fingers through his messy hair with a heavy sigh.

“Ethan was the first man I ever dated. I didn’t even realise I was bisexual until I met him. We met in the academy when we were twenty one. We…hooked up and a few days later he decided the FBI wasn’t for him and he left. But we stayed in touch, and six months later just after I started at the New York field office he proposed to me.

I was young. It was stupid but I thought he was the love of my life so I said yes. At the time we could enter into a civil partnership and we did so quickly after, and got a shitty apartment in Brooklyn together. We got married as soon as same sex marriage was legalised in New York.

He was the only thing I’d ever known. He was my first love, he was the first person to really see me. He saw beyond my IQ to who I really was.

Somewhere along the line I fell out of love with him. I resented him for leaving the academy and throwing his life away for some stupid music career. I resented him for us getting married so young. I resented him because I felt like I’d missed out on so many experiences because I’d settled for the first person who showed me attention.

Then I came home from work one day to find him in bed with my best friend, Amelia. And I was hurt and I was angry. But after the initial shock wore off, do you know what I felt?” His brows were furrowed as he looked at you.

“No.” You shook your head.

“I felt relieved.” He confessed, swallowing hard. “I felt relieved because it meant I had an excuse to leave. Because I didn’t love him the way I used to, but I’d been too scared to walk away. He cheated on me and I finally had my reason to leave.”

“I appreciate your honesty. But I wish I could believe that.” You exhaled, pushing yourself back up. “If you could have seen your face when you told that story, you wouldn’t believe it either.”

“What do you mean?” He frowned, standing up as well.

“You might not love him like you used to but you clearly still love him. I saw the pain in your eyes when you spoke about Ethan cheating on you. I’m not being anyone's second choice Spencer, so you really need to think and you need to decide who you want to be with. And if it isn’t me, you have to let me go.” You took a step back from him, scared if he touched you, you’d melt the way you always did.

Spencer rolled his bottom lip between his teeth as he ruminated on your words.

“I love you.” He croaked, sniffing back tears.

“But you also love your husband. Even if you don’t want to admit it. Let me go, Spencer. Just let me go.”

“I can’t.” He shook his head.

“Yes, you can.” You insisted. “I knew as soon as I said it that I wouldn’t be your choice. So you have to let me go.”

More tears fell from Spencer’s eyes but he quickly tried to wipe them away.

“He cheated on me.” He sniffed again.

“It doesn’t make you an idiot for still loving him.” You shrugged, desperate not to let your own tears fall. “Walk away, Spencer. I’m begging you to walk away. Because I can’t. I need you to be the one to walk away.”

“I just…I need some time, ok? To clear my head, to think. Just give me some time to talk to Ethan and sort through my emotions. This isn’t me walking away or making a choice. I just…I need time.” He stepped back too, knowing better than to try and hold you.

“Fine.” You swallowed, folding your arms across your chest. “Fine.”

You watched Spencer slowly back towards the door, keeping his eyes on you as he went. Neither of you said another word as he left your apartment and as soon as you were alone again, your tears fell once more and you crumbled to a heap in the bed.

***

May - One Month Ago

You’d given Spencer time just like he’d asked for. He took a sabbatical from work for two weeks while JJ acted as Unit Chief in his absence.

You didn’t hear from him in those two weeks and you didn’t try to contact him.

The day he returned to the BAU and you saw his wedding ring gracing his finger, you knew he’d made his decision.

And the two of you never spoke about it.

You continued to work together, you tried to keep things normal between you even though your heart shattered a little more in your chest every time you caught a glimpse at his gold band adorned on his hand.

You’d heard talk from the team. They’d all found out about Spencer’s secret husband and gossip had started to fly.

If rumours were to be believed, Ethan had moved to DC and he and Spencer were trying to work on their marriage. The details surrounding their time apart weren’t known by the team but it didn’t stop them gossiping about it.

They all assumed it had to do with an affair, but which one of the men who’d committed the deed the team weren’t sure.

Little did they know, both Ethan and Spencer had been unfaithful.

You’d tried to not get involved, tried to ignore the chatter about your boss's personal life.

The team also made the realisation you had ended your secret relationship with your mystery man. Thankfully they hadn’t put two and two together that the end of your relationship and Spencer’s husband coming to town were connected.

All in all, it had been an extremely hard and draining two months.

You checked your reflection again in the mirror with a sigh. You looked good, there was no denying that. You’d even go so far as to say you looked great. But your appearance wasn’t the issue.

Right on time there was a soft knock on your door. Seven PM on the dot. As if you’d expected anything less.

When he’d first asked you out, you’d been taken aback. He’d never shown any interest in you before so it had surprised you to say the least.

You’d been so shocked in fact, you’d instantly burst out laughing.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Because it’s a joke? You’re joking right?”

“I’m most definitely not joking.”

“But you…I…you’re being serious?”

“Yes.”

“You want to take me on a date?”

“Yes.”

You’d been so stunned that you’d agreed despite the fact dating was the last thing from your mind.

And now he was at your door, ready to take you for dinner and all you could think about was that it should be Spencer.

He knocked again and with a sigh you padded to the front door.

When you opened it, he was beaming at you in a way that made you feel awful.

“You look…amazing.” He grinned as he took in your appearance.

You forced yourself to smile back and tried desperately to push thoughts of Spencer to the back of your mind.

“Thank you. I just need to grab my purse and we can go.” You turned back into your apartment for your bag on the bureau next to the door.

You slung it over your shoulder and picked up your keys, stepping out into the corridor and locking the door behind you.

He placed his hand on your lower back and motioned you towards the stairs.

This really was so surreal and you suddenly had no idea why you agreed to it. You didn’t want to date anyone that wasn’t Spencer, no matter how sweet and kind this man was, he wasn’t Spencer.

And besides, you’d always thought Luke Alvez had a thing for Penelope.

***

“I want to have sex.”

Spencer’s eyes snapped away from the book he was reading and onto Ethan who was in bed beside him.

With nowhere else to stay and Spencer agreeing to try again with his husband, Ethan had been staying in Spencer’s apartment.

They shared a bed like a good married couple. Spencer allowed Ethan to kiss him on the cheek when he left for work and he’d agreed to wear his ring again.

But apart from that they hadn’t touched each other in the two months they’d been working on their relationship.

“Did you hear me?” Ethan spoke again when Spencer didn’t reply.

“Y-yes.” Spencer closed his book and set it on the nightstand.

“What are your thoughts?” Ethan raised a curious eyebrow. “You wanted to try again but it’s been two months and you won’t even let me kiss you properly. I want to have sex Spencer.”

Sex. With someone who wasn’t you. What were his thoughts?

Before Ethan’s affair the two of them had a very healthy sex life. It was the one constant in their relationship, even when they weren’t getting along, they always had great, no, amazing sex.

And of course Spencer still found his husband attractive. Ethan was aging like a fine wine and even after nearly twenty years Spencer was still so attracted to him.

But he was also still angry. He was angry that Ethan slept with Amelia, that he could throw away their wedding vows so easily. He still hadn’t forgiven him for that.

But now the thought was in his head, Spencer suddenly realised just how horny he was.

So that was the only reason why, instead of answering Ethan, he grabbed the other man’s face in his hands and crashed their lips together.

It was the only cause for him rolling himself on top of Ethan while Ethan’s hands started to roam his body.

At that moment, Spencer was hornier than he was angry. So he was going to have sex with his husband and go back to being mad at him after.

***

Inviting Luke back to your apartment after dinner hadn’t been planned. The words had spilled from your lips before you’d had the chance to think them through.

And now he was on top of you in your bed, kissing you and trying to remove your clothes, you realised what a terrible idea this was.

Luke tore his lips from yours so he could help you out of your shirt but he froze when he saw your face.

“Oh my gosh, are you ok?” He sat back, a look of concern on his features.

“Yes. Why?” You choked out.

“You’re crying.” He frowned.

You frowned too, bringing your hand to your face and feeling the damp patches beneath your eyes.

You looked at Luke and suddenly you started sobbing.

“I’m so sorry.” You wailed, burying your face in your hands. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He quickly helped you sit up and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“I’m not…I don’t think I’m…” you tried to control your breathing so you could speak. “I’m not ready for this. For…sex. I’m not ready. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry but I can’t.”

“It’s ok.” Luke stroked your back soothingly. “Things are moving really fast. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”

His kindness only caused you to sob harder.

“I’m so sorry.” You mumbled, nuzzling your face into his strong chest.

“It’s ok, Y/N. Really.” He held you tightly and at some point the two of you laid back to the bed and he continued to hold you while you cried.

You didn’t deserve him being so nice to you. If he knew why you were really crying he certainly wouldn’t be comforting you.

If he knew that the thought of being intimate with anyone other than your boss was this upsetting, he’d run a mile.

So for now you just let him hold you and you hoped you’d never have to tell him the truth.

***

Spencer had not expected his night to end here.

Having sex with his husband for the first time since Ethan’s affair shouldn’t have ended up with neither of them getting off and one of them in a hospital bed.

They’d been in the middle of intercourse, Spencer on his hands and knees on the bed while his husband roughly fucked him from behind.

He pulled out all the way, slipping out of Spencer, and when he went to thrust back in, he missed and a hideous popping sound filled the room followed by an ear piercing pained screech.

Ethan had fallen to the bed, screaming in agony and Spencer quickly turned to look at him.

“Oh my fucking god! Oh my fucking god!” Ethan shrieked, writhing on the bed while he held his crotch. “I can’t look! You have to look, Spencer! Oh fuck it hurts so bad!”

Spencer knelt over him and gently removed Ethan’s hand so he could look.

It was a good job Ethan had his eyes screwed tightly shut because Spencer felt the colour drain from his face and his jaw fall open.

Ethan’s penis was bent, dark bruising already forming on his shaft.

“Oh fuck.” Ethan groaned. “Is it broken? Is my dick broken?”

“Uh…it’s entirely probable, yes.” Spencer swallowed.

After that Spencer jumped into action and rushed Ethan to the ER.

Ethan refused to let his husband watch while his bruised penis was being examined and honestly Spencer was grateful for that.

He sat in the waiting room and every time he thought about how nasty it had looked, his stomach churned and he swore he felt second hand pain for Ethan.

Eventually a doctor was heading his way and he jumped to his feet as he approached.

“Mister Reid?”

“Doctor Reid.” Spencer corrected him but it really wasn’t the time or place.

“Apologies,” the doctor half-smiled. “Your husband has a penile fracture. He has a tear in the tunica albuginea, which is the…I suppose I don’t need to explain it to a doctor.”

Spencer nodded and grimaced slightly. Although he wasn’t a medical doctor, he knew exactly what it was.

The rubbery sheath of tissue below the skin that allows the penis to to increase in width and length to produce a firm erection.

He felt a surge of pain again in his own crotch at the thought.

“He’ll need surgery?” Spencer asked.

“Yes, we’d like to get him in straight away to avoid any permanent sexual or urinary issues.” The doctor informed him.

“Yes, of course.” Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose as he sat back down in the chair and watched the doctor walk away.

Maybe he and Ethan weren’t ready. Maybe they’d been too quick to try and reignite the spark between them.

They certainly weren’t going to be having sex for some time now, at least a few months while Ethan healed.

Maybe they’d never be able to be intimate again. Not if Spencer couldn’t shake the sight of his husband's broken penis from his brain anyway.

***

Two Weeks Ago

The BAU’s newest case had taken them to Arizona and the humidity was so stifling you couldn’t sleep.

You decided to go for a walk, maybe have a drink at the hotel bar to try and help you sleep.

You instantly regretted it when you entered the bar and saw him sitting there alone.

You wanted to turn to leave but he’d already spotted you, offering you a slightly downtrodden half-smile.

If you turned to leave now it would be obvious you were avoiding him, not that you should really care.

In two and a half months the two of you had said barely a handful of words to each other. If the team had noticed no one had said as much but you thought it must be noticeable.

Despite your better judgement to turn and run, you padded over to the bar and ordered a glass of wine whilst slipping into the bar stool next to him.

“Can’t sleep either?” He asked, his voice slightly croaky.

“No, the humidity is a bitch.” You thanked the bartender and sipped your wine, turning to watch him play with his half empty scotch glass. “What about you?”

Spencer looked up at you, his eyes didn’t have the glow you knew them to have.

“Things are just…” he exhaled. “Ethan broke his penis.”

You almost spat out your wine at his words. Of all the things you thought he might have said, that didn’t even make the list.

“I’m sorry?” You frowned deeply.

“I should not have told you that.” He shook his head, lifting his glass to his lips. “It’s been a long few weeks.”

“You just told the woman you were sleeping with that your husband broke his penis.”

“I did.” He sighed. “I’m sorry. I have no friends in DC so I have no one to talk to. And Ethan’s just being a huge baby and I…I’m sorry, it was inappropriate.”

“I mean, he broke his penis. He’s allowed to be a baby.” You smirked around your wine glass.

Spencer couldn’t help but chuckle as he took another sip of his scotch.

“Fair point. How did things get so fucked up?”

“I believe that was when you failed to tell me you were married.”

“Right.” Spencer nodded stiffly, placing his glass back on the bar. “I miss you.”

“I’m seeing someone.” You turned away from him, downing the rest of the wine in one go.

“You are?”

“Yes. You got back together with your husband and I’m dating.” You placed a bill on the bar and slid out of your chair.

“That was fast.” Spencer scoffed.

“You don’t get to judge me.” You spat. “You gave up the right to do that when your husband showed up. Go to hell, Spencer.”

With that you turned on your heels and fled the bar before he could say another word.

***

June - Present Day

Spencer couldn’t tear his eyes away from the small bundle in Amelia’s arms while she and Ethan’s words completely went over his head.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there for, blood boiling in his veins, until he reached his breaking point.

“Who’s baby is that?” He spat, although he already knew the answer.

“What do you think?” Amelia shrugged. “You didn’t tell him? You’ve been here three months and it never came up?”

“Spence,” Ethan’s voice shook as he turned to his husband. “Spence…I wanted to tell you, I really did. But I…I didn’t know how.”

Spencer looked between Ethan, Amelia and the baby. No one knew how he would react, or what to expect.

He kept glancing between the three of them, his brain racing and his heart hammering.

The seconds that passed felt like hours and the tension was so thick it felt like it was suffocating them.

And then, to everyone’s surprise, Spencer started to laugh.

Out of nowhere he started chuckling loudly, holding his stomach as he did so.

Ethan and Amelia exchanged confused looks, thinking Spencer had lost his mind.

“Spencer?” Amelia swallowed. “Are you ok?”

Spencer didn’t answer her, he just continued laughing heartily.

Ethan dared to step closer to him and put his hand on his husband's shoulder.

“Spence? What’s so funny?” He croaked.

“It’s just perfect isn’t it?” Spencer wiped a few tears of laughter that escaped his eyes. “It’s just so fucking perfect.”

“You’re scaring me.” Amelia chewed her lip, cradling her and Ethan’s baby closer to her body.

Spencer ignored her and turned to Ethan, fishing in his pocket for his wedding ring.

He gripped Ethan’s wrist and turned his hand over before roughly pressing his ring into Ethan’s palm.

“Divorcing your ass is going to be a pleasure.” Spencer smiled almost menacingly.

“Spencer, please. We can talk about this, we can-“

“No.” Spencer shook his head. “No more talking. No more excuses. I decided to try again with you because I didn’t want to just throw nearly twenty years down the drain. But I don’t love you Ethan. I don’t even like you!”

Spencer’s slightly raised voice had started gaining the attention of his team members who were now gathered by the doors listening.

But he didn’t even notice. So he continued.

“I was a fucking idiot for giving you another chance. And not because you cheated on me. I was an idiot because I’m in love with someone else. Someone sweet and kind and everything you’ll never be.

She made me realise what true love is. In a few months I felt more for her than I’ve felt for you in two decades. So I want a divorce because I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I want to spend the rest of my life with Y/N.”

A few gasps echoed around him from his team members and that was when he realised he was being watched.

He glared wide eyed at them as they stared back at him through the glass doors until a small, stifled sob caught his attention.

He turned around quickly in the direction the sound came from and his heart burst at the sight of you sobbing into your hands as Garcia gripped your shoulder.

Cautiously he walked towards you, and when he reached you, he cupped your face in his hands. You let him wipe your tears with the pads of his thumbs and felt Garcia let go of you and step backwards.

“You…you mean it?” You choked, your bottom lip quivering.

“I do.” He nodded. “I don’t deserve another chance but I hope you’ll give it to me anyway. Because I am so in love with you Y/N and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

“But…there are rules. You said so yourself. We can’t be together while you're my boss.” You whimpered a little.

“So I’ll quit.” He chuckled. “I hate being in charge anyway. I always thought I’d make a good teacher.”

You looked up at him through large, watery eyes.

Everyone else slipped away. Ethan, Amelia, the baby, the rest of the team, all ceased to exist.

You gave a brief thought to Luke and the three dates you’d been on before you’d confessed to him that you were in love with Spencer.

Maybe it hadn’t been fair for you to lie to Spencer in that hotel bar in Arizona but at the time you’d just wanted to hurt him like he’d hurt you. Maybe one day you’d tell him you and Luke had ended things before that night in Arizona. But right now it didn’t matter.

“Are you serious?”

“Very.” He smiled softly at you. “Can you forgive me, Y/N?”

Forgiveness would be a difficult thing. After everything Spencer had put you through, it wasn’t going to be as simple as just forgiving him.

But you were sure you would one day. And you didn’t want to wake up when that day came to find Spencer hadn’t waited around for you.

“It’ll take time.” You sniffed. “You’ve got a long way to go before I can truly forgive you.”

“I’ll spend an eternity making it up to you if I have to.” He was quick to say. “I love you Y/N. I’ll do anything it takes.”

“For starters, you could kiss me.” Your lip twitched into a smile and Spencer breathed a sigh of relief.

Still cupping your face, he drew you closer and when your lips met, you melted into him the way you always did.

At that moment, all the things the two you had been through seemed irrelevant. The only thing that mattered as you wrapped your arms around his neck while he deepened the kiss, was that you’d made it here.

He’d picked you. He’d chosen you. He loved you. The story of how you’d gotten here was inconsequential, the only thing that mattered was that Spencer Reid was your happy ending.

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boldlyvoid · 3 years ago

Text

New Romantics | Part Four

18+

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Categories: Fake dating, neighbours, strangers to lovers, mutual pining, Angst with a happy ending, Smut *as selected by my poll on what you wanted to read*

Warnings: Season 9 Spencer (no Maeve arc), Angst, kissing, drinking, police training mentions, case details, canon typical violence, self-doubt, autistic!spencer, age gaps (24/33), FWB relationships, anxiety attacks, crying, misunderstandings, oral sex (both), penetrative sex, Perv!Spencer low-key, public sex, quickies, multiple orgasms,

Word Count: 5k

a/n: what could possibly go wrong next?

She’s been asleep barely 2 hours when he shakes her awake, “Hey, when did you need to get ready today?”

“Uh?” She sits up and rubs her eyes, “we don’t have to leave until 1 so, like 11?”

“It’s 8:30, did you want to stay and sleep more?”

She looks at him and sighs, “are we okay?”

He nods, “can we just call it even?”

“Sure,” she agrees without knowing what she did wrong. It was more than just snapping on Tuesday, which is what she was still hurt over. “But I’m going to go, I need to change and stuff.”

“Yeah,” he nods but his smile is sad and she knows she’s fucking it up more.

She gets out of his bed, once it was the warmest bed she’s ever known. Any bed she shared with him was, but now it felt cold and uninviting and there was an unspoken knowingness that they were both genuinely upset.

“I’m still your fake girlfriend for the next 24 hours… can we make them count?” She asks, avoiding eye contact so he can't see her cry if he says no.

“Come here?”

She gets back into the bed and she cuddles into his chest. He holds her for a moment, “you’ve been the best girlfriend in the whole world. Do you really still want to be friends after this? Have I fucked up that bad?”

“Oh honey,” she places a hand on his cheek and looks at him softly, “I will be your neighbour, your best friend, your co-worker, carpool buddy, coffee friend, girlfriend, whatever you need as long as you’d like to have me around.”

He remembers the first time she said that and she knows because his smile is the same. “I love you.”

It hurts, “I love you, too.”

She kisses him quickly, attempting to pull back when his fingers grip her hair and his tongue is on her lips and she’s following his lead again.

“No,” she whispers, “I can’t.”

“Oh,” he stops and his hands drop to his sides so she can get back up.

“I’m going to go get ready, but I’ll come back when I’m done?”

“Yeah,” he nods again.

It breaks her heart to get up and go, she grabs her shoes and she sneaks out of his room, finding her keys in her pocket, she opens her own door and cries the second the door closes.

She cries in the shower, she cries while fixes her hair, she cries while she has lunch. Every song reminds her of the situation, every section of her apartment reminds her of him, the stupid door where they first kissed is closed and she wishes he was stable enough to bang on it and demand an answer.

Whatever was going on between them was reaching a bubbling over point, she can only store so much emotion before she explodes on him.

As soon as she is in her dress, makeup on and ready to go, she walks into his apartment to find him struggling with his bowtie, it makes her smile for the first time since she left his room this morning, “need help?”

“Yes, please.”

She walks over to him and repeats the same movements he attempted, making the bow look pretty before smoothing her hands over his dress shirt and looking up at him. “Handsome as ever.”

“You’re always beautiful,” he compliments her right back but his voice is still as sad as the night before.

“Are you ever going to tell me what’s going on in there?” She pries, tapping his temple with her index finger, “you’re my best friend and I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“I heard what you said yesterday,” he whispers, “about how if you were just using someone you would have picked Derek.”

“And?” She doesn’t get why it’s a big deal because it makes perfect sense to her in her mind.

“And it hurt me,” he snaps, “quite a lot!?”

And the dam breaks.

“Because I proved to them that I’m not using you? Spencer do you know what I meant by that?” She snaps right back.

“What else could it mean?! Clearly I’m not hot enough for you to just fuck and toss aside—”

“I meant that I love you and that’s why I’m with you! If I was just using someone for a job then I’d fuck Derek cause he’s a one and done, toss them to the side and never see them again, kind of guy!”

“And?” He repeats her word choice in a snippy tone that makes her furious but she knows he’s just trying his best to understand her.

She sighs loudly and obnoxiously, “and you’re a take him to meet your mom, marry and have his babies, love him for the rest of your life and one day scatter his ashes, kind of lover.” Crying by the end, she wipes her tears and tries to stay somewhat presentable-looking.

He’s silent, eyes wide as he takes in all her words, “I have always loved you,” she adds, “and no matter how fucking angry I am or how stressed or upset, I am never going to stop loving you, Spencer.”

“Me either,” his tone is still just as upset, “and that's the part that sucks.”

“What do you mean?” She just poured her heart out to him and he still doesn’t get it.

“I LOVE YOU!” He screams it at her with his hands thrown in the air, “I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my entire fucking life and it’s driving me crazy!”

“It’s driving you crazy?” She can’t help but laugh like she’s losing her mind, “I have been doing everything in my power to make you understand that I love you and you keep thinking I just want to be friends!”

“Because you said you loved me like a friend the first time?!”

“No, I fucking didn’t!” She is so frustrated she’s turning the same colour as her dress, steaming from her ears like a cartoon character.

“I asked if best friends can be in love because I wanted to see if you would say you loved me more than that, and then you fucking said “yeah cause that’s how I love you” which means you love me as a friend?!”

“Because I thought that’s what you wanted?!”

She can’t rub her eyes cause she’ll ruin her makeup but she is so mad she just wants to scream. Pressing her fingers to her own temples, she turns away from him and sighs, she loves him so much and yet this is the most frustrating thing that’s ever happened.

“You are so lucky,” she just laughs, shaking her head back and forth as she turns back to him, “you are so fuckin’ lucky.”

“Why?”

She wraps her arms around his middle and looks up into his eyes with one last sigh, “we have to go or we’ll be late, so I can’t explain all of my feelings right now, so let’s bench this conversation and I can show you just how much I love you when we get back?”

“Okay,” he nods. He rests his hands on her arms and he looks down with the softest glance, he’s still trying so hard to not cry. “I’m really sorry.”

“So am I, I should have listened to you better and explained myself more,” she whispers, “do you believe me now?”

He nods, “I told you, it’s hard for me.”

“I tried my best to be subtle so I didn’t scare you off, but I guess you really don’t do subtle?” She can’t help but laugh, “but I really do love you.”

His hands are on her cheeks, pulling her into a kiss, she melts against him. He breathes her in, it’s the longest and deepest kiss she’s ever had and she honestly feels like he’s taking her soul and making her his. She belongs to him and she knows it, now he does too.

“I love you, too.”

—

All eyes are on her and it makes him smile, she’s the only one in a red dress in a room full of black and white, she stands out like a sore thumb. She looks the most beautiful, she stands beside Spencer with her arm wrapped around his and a huge smile on her face, it makes him even happier to see her smile again.

The hardest part of fighting with her was knowing she was upset and that he was only making it worse. Seeing her smile return is everything to him, he loves her more than words can express and she loves him right back, he can tell by the way she smiles at him; because it’s exactly the same way he’s smiling at her.

“I see that you’ve made up,” Derek interrupts their current dance to say hello.

The BAU team was always so busy on nights like this, they had all the best stories and everyone wanted to hear them, which meant they typically didn’t see each other a lot for the whole night.

“We did,” Spencer smiles. “Thank’s Derek.”

She looks up at them both, confused, “how many of them know?”

“Huh?” He plays dumb but she can see right through him.

“Do they all know I’m not really your girlfriend or is it just Aaron, Derek and whoever else you told?”

“Elle,” he says her name. “I told the first girl I slept with that I was falling in love with you because I needed advice from someone who has already been with me and knows how I get.”

“Sick, cool, love that for you,” she smiles and walks away.

He grabs her and she stops, “I told you how much it hurt that I had no one to talk to and you told all of them? And you couldn’t even tell me you really loved me this whole time? I thought we were best friends Spencer?” She shakes her head, disappointed more than anything, swatting his hand off her as he reaches to stop her.

“Let her go, she’s right to be a little mad,” Derek holds him back. “let her be mad.”

“Why?” Spencer is so new to relationships he doesn’t know what he’s doing.

“She wants to be your girlfriend for real, let her calm down and then go apologize and ask her,” Derek's smile is sweet as he pulls Spencer into a hug.

It slowly becomes a dance, everyone is used to Derek being touchy with his friends, he has danced with everyone so far tonight so it’s only fair Spencer has a turn. Spencer holds him tight, eyes closed so he doesn’t have to think about all the attention he’s been getting since they arrived.

“Thank you for always being here for me,” he whispers, “but I have to go see her.”

“Fights like this just make your relationship stronger, it teaches you how she wants you to communicate, she just wants you to be honest with her, always,” he whispers with his cheek pressed to Spencer's, “and angry make-up sex is really fun.”

It makes him laugh, “thanks, but she won’t be sleeping with me for a few days, if my memory is correct then she’s mad for more than one reason.”

“Ah,” Derek gets it, “good luck my friend. Good luck.”

When Spencer pulls away, he heads in the direction Y/N left and follows the hallway as far as it goes. She’s sitting on a bench by a window, staring off at the night sky as she takes some deep breaths. She looks a little more peaceful, she’s had a really rough few weeks and he’s not making it any easier on her.

“I know two things for sure,” he speaks softly but she still jumps a little as she turns to him.

“What would they be?”

“That you’re the love of my life,” he’s confident as he sits on the bench beside her and takes her hand in his. “And I’m an idiot when it comes to love.”

“That is quite the dilemma,” she smirks, her eyes gleam as she looks at him and he knows she was trying not to cry by how glossy they are, but it makes her more beautiful, somehow.

“I’m really sorry.”

“All you have to do is tell me the truth, Spencer,” she places her hand on his leg and leans in with a whisper, “it’s really simple.”

“Truth is,” he whispers right back, lips close enough to kiss, “I’m never going to stop loving you, which means more stupid moments are in my future. Just so you know.”

She giggles and kisses him quickly, “I don’t mind being the smart one in the relationship, but you still have to ask.”

“Will you be my girlfriend and let me love you for the rest of my life, no matter how much I fuck up and drive you crazy?” He teases her, knowing she’ll say yes regardless.

“On one condition,” she can’t hide the smirk on her face and he’s nervous at what she’s thinking.

“Anything?”

“You let me love you for just as long? If not longer.”

He nods, “forever?”

She nods back before kissing him just as deeply as they did that morning, her hands in his hair as she presses his face into her’s with force. She holds him there and breathes him in, pulling back with a classic smooch sound, she smiles again, “you’re my boyfriend now.”

He nods with a small smile, “what should we do first as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

She bites her lip and pretends to think about it for a moment, “fuck in the linen closet down the hall?”

“I don’t have any condoms on me?” Is his only worry, not getting caught, not that all their bosses and superiors were there, just that he didn’t have a condom.

She pulls one out of her bra with a smile, “Savannah gave this to me about 3 minutes before you came over here.”

“How much make-up sex do they have?” He asks as he takes her hand and leads her down the hallway.

She’s giddy and smiling, her heels click on the floor as they rush to the other end of the hall and open the little door. There are shelves with towels and rolls upon rolls of silverware in cloth napkins. A vacuum in the corner, some brooms and just enough room for them.

She pulls him in closer and shuts the door, reconnecting their lips as she pushes him up against it. Hands reaching for his belt she kisses down his neck and he’s like putty in her hands as soon as she strokes him, he moans by accident and she covers his mouth with her free hand.

“Do you have any idea how turned on you make me? I have wanted to fuck you since I first saw you, 6 years ago…”

“Really?” His muffled voice behind her hand makes her laugh. She removes her hand and instead runs her fingers through his hair while taking a moment to look at him and really take it all in.

“Yeah,” she nods, “which is why I asked to sleep with you on the way home from the bar, I didn’t know if I could handle it either it, but I’ve always wanted Doctor Reid from the BAU to rail me. I just didn’t think we’d end up falling in love?”

“No one has ever admitted to having a crush on me and meant it,” he whispers.

“I’m glad I get to be one of your firsts,” she smiles again before he pulls her into another kiss.

She kisses the side of his mouth and then his jaw, down his neck and then she’s dropping to her knees in front of him. He’s hard in her hands but he twitches as he sees her like this, looking up at him with lust-blown eyes as she strokes him, she flattens her tongue and taps the tip of his cock to it.

He has to cover his own mouth or else he’s going to get them caught, he moans at the feeling, closing his eyes and that's when she takes him in her mouth. His free hand is in her hair, careful not to mess it up but enough grip to steady himself.

He tilts his head back against the door with a knock and a sign, “fuck,” he can’t help but talk into his hand which only makes it sound louder in the tight space.

She feels so good every single time and yet this one feels different, he looks down at her and she pulls off, “what’s wrong?”

“I love you,” he shrugs.

He helps her back up to her feet and she backs up against the shelves, “come here?”

He helps her hike her dress up, holding all the material up as he slips her underwear off and takes that condom back out of her bra with a single kiss to her chest. He rolls it over himself and lines up with her, her arms wrap around his shoulders as she looks at him, “show me how much you love me?”

He slides in and they don’t break eye contact as she takes him, her mouth opens in a silent gasp at the feeling, her hands grip his shoulders tighter as she steadies her ass on a shelf and wraps her legs around him while he bottoms out.

With a hand on her cheek and one on her lower back, he pulls out and thrusts back in with a smile as she bites back a moan, she pulls his face in close to hers to kiss him while he fucks her. The hand on his cheek slides down her neck, applying a small amount of pressure that makes her breathing hitch. She swallows sharply before his hand starts to trail over her breasts and then between them.

With a thumb on her clit, he fucks her a little harder while rubbing his thumb in a circle. She’s breathing heavily into his mouth, placing sloppy kisses against each other as they enjoyed each other.

She’s so close and he knows it, and then there is a knock on the door.

“Spence, we have a case when you’re done?” He hears Derek's voice behind the door and he can’t believe it.

“Okay!” He calls back without stopping, instead, he fucks into her a little faster.

“Oh!” She moans by accident before covering her mouth with a slap and wide eyes, moaning behind her hand as she bounces on his cock.

He kisses her hand, making her move it so he can press his lips back to hers and absorb all the noises she was going to make, her hands both reach for his back, gripping his suit jacket so tight he’s afraid she might rip it.

She cums with a shocked gasp, it’s as quiet as possible but it still echos around them as he gets closer and closer. He buries his face in her neck and accidentally moans as well as he cums, stilling his hips as he holds her there, sputtering his hips against hers as they catch their breath.

“I love you,” he manages to say between breaths, “that much.”

“You need to go,” she smiles.

He kisses her one last time before he pulls out, he loves the way she gasps every time he does so. She smiles after, their teeth clashing as they laugh, “I’m going to get in so much trouble.”

“I’m never going to get a job,” she shakes her head as she gets off the shelf and fixes her dress.

He takes off the condom and wraps it in some paper towel on the shelf, he’ll get rid of it later. She picks up her underwear, he thinks she puts them back on, but she really slides them into his pocket for him to find in the middle of the case when he reaches for something important...

—

She rides back to headquarters with Penelope and JJ, both of them want to ask and she knows it. Mainly because she looks like she’s had sex, and also because she asks to stop at the academy so she can get another pair of underwear from her locker.

It’s not until they’re in Penelope’s office that they ask, “what’s it like?”

“What’s what like?” She plays dumb.

“Dating Spencer?” Penelope says, “more specifically, having sex with him?” She mumbles and it makes Y/N laugh.

“In total, we’ve been having sex for 3 weeks now and I’ve had 21 orgasms, and we only really fuck on the weekends cause that’s when we’re not busy…” she grinds her teeth slightly with a raised brow, taking a deep breath, “yeah. It’s really great.”

“Holy shit?” They both look more shocked than she’s ever seen them. “How many has he had?” Penelope asks with a quiet voice, pretending she didn’t.

She laughs slightly, “like maybe 14? He’s really generous.”

“What the fuck?” JJ turns to Penelope and shakes her head and there’s something more there that Y/N can sense.

“Who’s Elle?” She asks and they both turn to her with the biggest eyes.

“How do you know about Elle?”

“She’s the first person he slept with?”

“When?” They both shout.

“So he wasn’t kidding. You guys really thought he was a virgin this whole time?” She looks at them like they’re crazy. “How?”

They both just shake their heads and sigh, stuttering and looking for words they don’t have. “We just never thought he could?”

“Snooze ya loose, I guess?” She shrugs, “so what is the case and how can I help?”

“Right! We have a case,” Penelope snaps back into it, “but seriously Elle? Are you sure you have your names right?”

“Penelope,” she looks at her seriously.

“Right, they’re headed to Roanoke.”

There was a child abduction of a 6-year-old girl, CARD and the BAU were both called out and that meant everyone was mingling on the two floors and they would use as much help as possible.

It also turns out that Anderson’s surrogate went into labour a little earlier than anyone expected; so he and his husband have left for paternity leave early. Leaving JJ without an assistant and she really needs help in the office for this one.

She catches on rather quickly, knowing the protocols from her training and she’s not afraid to ask questions. She’s still in her dress, her heels click on the tiles as she rushes around with files, making phone calls and running from the briefing room to Penelope’s office.

When they finally crack the case and apprehend the suspect, she sits down finally. It’s been 11 hours since the banquet, and she was exhausted beyond belief. She never slept the night before, Spencer was uncomfortable and she was in her jeans and when she did fall asleep, he was waking her up moments later to get ready.

It's Sunday morning at 9 am when Spencer finally returns back at headquarters. She’s sitting at his desk when he comes up and wraps his arms around her, “we’re going home, come on.”

“Don’t you have to debrief?”

“Did that on the way back,” he turns her around in the role chair and tilts her head up to look at him, she’s so tired and he can tell. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ugh,” she stands up with his help, “I did enough profiling today and now I have a whole week to get through.”

“Just to come back and work here,” he smiles, “if you still want to?”

She wraps him up in a real hug and nods against him, “it’s so fun, even with all the murder.”

“Coming home to this is really nice,” he whispers before kissing her cheek quickly, “I’m glad you like it here.”

“Well, well, well,” Derek's voice is behind them. They pull away to see him smiling, arms wide as he saunters over, “if it isn’t the new romantics.”

“Did you have any suspicions?” Y/N asks, he was a profiler after all.

“I knew something was up,” he’s honest. “I knew you guys were actually doing stuff together, I just didn’t think there was so much angst behind closed doors?”

“You have no idea,” Y/N laughs, holding Spencer closer, “it took too long.”

“I thought you were fighting about the job, cause he wasn’t really upset until you were in Penelope’s office, and I heard the rumours even before he heard what you said,” Derek smiles again, “but I also knew you loved him and he loves you.”

“Correct,” she can’t help but smile. “But we really should head home.”

“Home we go,” Spencer agrees.

—

She asks him to unzip her dress the second they’re back in her apartment. She drops the dress to the floor and heads to the bathroom and he’s left alone in her room. It feels different now. He remembers kissing her in the living room for the first time like it was yesterday, he remembers the first time they had sex, the first time he said I love you, and now he’s here and she’s his girlfriend and he’s going to get to make more memories with her.

He’s so embarrassed by how much he’s been crying lately, something about being in his mid-30s was making him feel like he was about to go through menopause— he has never been very openly emotional, but it’s about time he lets himself feel. He wipes the tears and turns to face the wall while he takes his suit off.

He’s been through too much, a lot of which she doesn’t know of. She has promised him forever, whether she means it or not, and he’s worried he’s going to fuck it up before he gets there.

When she comes back, she lays a towel down on her side of the bed and gets in, “guess who got her period on her first day of work?”

“No?” He gasps, playing along with her playful mood. “At least you’re not pregnant.”

“Thank god,” she sighs, “please for the love of God, don’t get me pregnant for at least 5 years? I want a decent career first so that I don't miss much on maternity leave. I really don't want to be benched for having kids.”

He cries again and she looks so concerned as she gets out of bed and wraps her arms around him, “what did I say wrong, Spencer?”

Still facing the wall, he just lets it all out, “I’m sorry.”

“For what, sweetheart?” She attempts to soothe him by running her hands down his arms, “for crying or something else?”

“Crying,” he whispers and she turns him around then.

“Hey,” she looks up at him with the softest expression he’s ever seen, “you are allowed to have emotions, you are allowed to show them and ask for help and tell me when you need something. I’m not going to think you’re too much, or I can’t handle you or think of you as a burden. I know that’s how you feel because it’s how I fell, and we don’t need to go through that together.”

“I love you,” it’s the only thing that feels right to say.

“I love you,” she repeats it, “what made you cry?”

“Can we get in bed first?”

“Yeah, finish getting ready and then come tell me,” she whispers before reaching up and pressing a kiss to his lips.

He slips away to go to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and washing his face. He’s exhausted but he doesn’t want to miss any time with her. He hurries back to her side, getting into bed in his underwear and making sure both his phones are on the night table, charged and ready if they need him.

But until then, he belonged to her.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep?” It’s the first thing he asks because he knows she has a big day tomorrow. “It can wait.”

“What’s that thing you say about intermittent sleep is actually better?”

“Don’t use my words against me, I do that so people don’t stop me from doing what I think I deserve,” he’s truthful. “I’m not going to ever lie or fib to you again. I hate myself, and if I don’t feel like I’ve done enough I won't sleep or eat sometimes.”

“I do that too,” she’s not proud, “are you trying to tell me you cried cause you’re hungry or tired?”

“No,” he smiles, “but thank you for asking for clarification, I like this new system.”

“Me too.”

“I cried because I really love you and I’m realizing this is all real and I’m going to get to make good memories with you, and when you said kids, even in a hypothetical sense, it made it feel real for me,” he whispers the words before pressing his lips together awkwardly.

She glows in the lap light like she did that first night, “it’s a weird concept, isn’t it? The future. At some point I’m going to have known you longer than anyone, one day we’ll have lived with each other longer than we’ve lived apart. We might be grandparents together one day? It’s all weird to think about.”

“Do you seriously want all that with me?” He’s asking because he has another question to ask right after.

“Yes, Spencer,” she laughs. “I really do.”

“Would you like to Marry me?”

“Seriously?” Her eyes widen and her jaw drops and he’s never seen her look this stunned before.

He nods, “my mom isn’t going to able to appreciate my wedding the longer I wait, and if you really mean it; I’d like to have a wedding with my mom there while she remembers me.”

“I know her birthday is coming up, but can we bring her here instead?”

“Why?”

“My parents decided to drive from Salam to here for my graduation and use the flight money on a nice Airbnb for the week. We should do it while they’re all here because I don’t know when they’d be able to come back,” she has had the same worries about her parents missing her life.

“I’ll ask my mom,” he smiles. “So we’re getting married?”

“in like a week,” she laughs, “oh fuck, how are we going to do that in a week?”

He rolls over and grabs his personal phone, he dials a number and she looks even more confused now.

“Hey Penelope, how fast can you plan a wedding?”

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New Romantics:

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#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #new romantics

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it-was-summer · 4 years ago

Text

Video Killed The Radio Star - Chapter 5 (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

A/N: Sorry for the lack of content in the past two days, I have been working a little more this week and certain things happened that made me a little depressed. I am feeling better and I am hoping that you all enjoy this new chapter! Please reach out if you ever have any questions or send me a message if you would like to share any theories!

Warnings: Talk of addiction, just emotional garbage, let me know if I missed anything!

Plot: Spencer Reid extends an olive branch. We explore how Y/N is dealing with the aftermath of her abduction and how she is dealing with it all.

Word Count:3.1K

You were screaming, your ears were ringing so it was all muffled, but you could feel the air leaving your lungs. But, before you could see anymore of the gruesome sight in front of you, a newer and prettier sight blocked your vision. You only recognized him from the photos you found of him, Spencer Reid.

If you were in a different situation, preferably one where you hadn’t just watched someone’s head get blown to bits, you would feel embarrassed. He opened his mouth and that's when all sound returned “Y/N,” you could hear your sobs “Look at me.” Your eyes were shifting anxiously, trying to look behind him to see Heather. Spencer moved his head with yours, his eyes fixed onto yours.

You tried to speak, but all the words were lost as you sobbed, you took in a deep breath before you managed to say "Dr. Reid,” Spencer tried to hide his surprise, he knew you had researched the team, he just didn’t expect you to call him Doctor right out of the gate. “I want to go home.” you pulled in a desperate gulp of air, trying to calm down. Spencer was about to reassure you that you would be home soon, but the EMTs were already moving you. Your eyes caught one last look at Heather’s exploded head before your body went limp on the gurney.

Spencer watched the paramedics take you out, a surprising feeling of anxiety rising in his chest as he watched them leave before he turned around to focus on the corpse behind him.

You woke up to the sounds of steady beeping, eyes opening to confirm that you were in a hospital bed. Your foot was in a cast, carefully suspended as you looked around the room. You could see your mother right outside, talking to someone that you couldn’t quite see from your position on the hospital bed.

Your mother looked over her shoulder and saw that you were awake, gasping gently in awe. She worked her way back into the hospital room with a relieved smile on her face. “You’re awake,” she sighed happily, reaching for your hand. She was looking for something else to say, finding herself at a loss as she stared at her only child, her only daughter. Her eyes met yours and you gave her a tight smile.

“Hi, mom,” you said in a voice so quiet, knowing that your throat took some damage from all the screaming.

“Hi, honey,” she began to cry tears falling silently as she held your hand tighter.

“Excuse me,” a timid voice interrupted the moment.

Your attention was pulled towards the voice, smiling quickly at the sight of Dr. Reid standing there as he fidgeted with the strap of his bag, looking incredibly awkward as he did so. “Dr. Reid!” you exclaimed as your bed rose slowly so that you could sit up in the bed, you looked for the button, only to find that your mother was the one who was pressing the button.

Spencer returned your smile as he shuffled closer to the bed, “You can just call me Spencer.” He kindly informed you. “We usually don’t visit, but I, well, just wanted to see how you were doing.”

You swallowed nervously, not knowing how to answer him, “I’m alive,” you settled with a nervous chuckle, Spencer let out a tiny scoff and nodded in agreement. You turned your head towards your mother, “Can I get a moment with,” you began to say doctor before you stopped yourself, “A moment with Spencer, please?” you begged your mother sweetly as you saw the hesitation in her eyes. That was natural, of course, because her daughter had just been abducted for a good four days.

But, she left nonetheless smiling at Spencer as she did so. You cleared your throat softly, you knew that as soon as you spoke about it, the abduction, you would break. You motioned for Spencer to come closer with a grin, waiting to speak till he was at the side of the hospital bed. “You saw my videos,” Spencer blinked at your statement, waiting for you to continue. “I thought I was going crazy, seriously. Then when it happened, she,” you felt your voice crack, “She was horrible. I’m so scared, so scared, that I’ll never be able to recover.” You croaked softly, stealing a glance up at Spencer. “Will I be able to recover, Spencer?”

Spencer couldn’t help but feel like he was being thrown into the limelight with that question. He knew the correct answer was a simple yes, he could just say yes and leave it at that. His time with Tobias made him see things differently, made him want to be more inspirational, to be more open, but it was hard. “You’ll be able to recover. It’ll take time, but you can.” was all he could manage before he was digging into his bag to look for a pen of some kind. “If you ever need anything, I could,” he found a sharpie, “Could I give you my number?” He asked, holding up the sharpie with a tiny grin.

“Are you allowed to?”

“Well, I don’t think-”

“I was kidding, Spencer.” you pointed down to the cast on your foot. “Would you be the first to sign my cast?”

Spencer uncapped the pen, writing his name in bold lettering followed by his number underneath it. “It’s beautiful,” you laughed softly, turning your head to look at Spencer. Spencer felt a tiny shiver cross his spine as you graced him with a look of adoration. He nodded stiffly, heading over to the door. “Spencer,” you called.

“Yes?” He turned around, half expecting something from a romantic comedy to happen. Then again you were lying in a hospital bed, he doubted your mind was on the same track as his.

“Thank you. Please tell the rest of the team thank you for me too?” Spencer felt his smile return in a second, then he nodded, and he was gone.

***

March 16, 20XX

It was your third day out of the hospital. You were sleeping in your old room at your mother’s house, your mother didn’t want you to go back to your apartment and you had time off from your job, so you were sleeping in your old room. It was around three in the morning when it happened, you could feel something pressing onto your stomach. The memory shot through you as you sat up in a cold sweat, looking around for her. She wasn’t there, of course, thank god she wasn’t there.

You stared up at the ceiling for a while after that, waiting for sleep to crash down on you, but it never came. Every time you would close your eyes you felt, suddenly, numb, you could feel morphine in your veins. The part that scared you the most was that when you opened your eyes you missed it. You missed feeling numb and that terrified you.

It was around five in the morning that you got up, grabbing your crutches quickly, silently realizing that sleep was never going to come to you as you walked out of the room with a frown.

Two hours later, your mother emerged from her room at the sound of the television playing. Upon seeing you she frowned, but you simply patted one of the cushions on the couch and she was smiling as she took a seat next to you. You wanted to tell her how you were feeling, tell her how you felt like you needed something more to keep the edge off, but guilt consumed you. You felt so guilty for worrying her, you felt guilty for waking her up, you felt like a burden. She didn’t need to know that her daughter was thinking like that, she didn’t need to know that her daughter was feeling overwhelmed. So you sat next to her in ignorant silence, watching the television play.

It was just after noon when it first happened, you caught the tiniest look of pink light, something outside of the kitchen window. Suddenly you were in the room, in the pink room again, fire spreading throughout your body. You squeezed your eyes tight, trying to breathe, trying to calm down. You opened your eyes, blinking away panic as the sight of your mother’s kitchen reassured you that you were safe.

You let out a slow sigh, rolling your shoulders back, attempting to calm down. She was dead and you were out, safe. You shouldn’t be scared of someone who can’t hurt you, but then again people are scared of the dark and darkness isn’t even a person. You grabbed a glass, filling it with tap water, and walked back to the living room with a fake smile.

March 20, 20XX

It took about four days to persuade your mother to let you go back home to your apartment. You didn’t necessarily want to leave her house, but you were scared that with all of your anxieties and flashbacks you would worry her further. It was better to let her think that you were healthy and that you were doing better.

You waved from the doors of your apartment, watching her get into her car as you walked into the lobby of your apartment. After a momentarily struggle with your crutches, you managed to get to your apartment door. You stood outside of the door, fear making the hairs on your arms stand up as you slowly reached for the door handle.

You pushed the door in, watching it swing wide open as you quickly hobbled in, removing your keys from the lock as you shut the door behind you. Carefully limping over to your desk, you plopped down onto your desk chair. You frowned as you watched your closed computer on your desk, feeling as if you should be speaking. You hated to be alone now, you never said it out loud, but you always felt like someone was watching you now. It would be at any time of the day, morning, noon, or night and you would get the feeling that someone’s eyes were on you. That, someone, was watching you, waiting for you to be vulnerable, waiting for you to slip up and do something wrong.

You scooted closer to the desk, looking down at the photos you had printed out, chuckling to yourself as you remember how you took the time to leave tiny notes on them, they were misplaced but all of the notes were still there. You had hoped that your notes made them feel better, you wrote them in guilt. You felt guilty for your videos, feeling as if they were useless to the case, but now you could see that they helped.

After a couple of hours of cleaning your apartment, or making an attempt to clean it, you were lying on the couch trying to ignore the feelings that were washing over you. In the coming days, you were a blizzard of emotions. You would get angry at little things, flinched if something touched you when you least expected it, but the two emotions that controlled you a majority of the time were helplessness and fear.

You would yearn for some kind of release from your mind, convincing yourself that if you could get your hands on something strong enough, the world would simply melt away and leave you in mind-numbing bliss. You wanted to feel nothing again, all you wanted to do was stare at the ceiling and let your mind be empty. Right now, for example, you were alone and everything was silent, and yet your mind was screaming. Screaming in a silly panic that someone was in your apartment, screaming that something bad was about to happen, and in the darkest of times crying that the wrong person died in that room. If you were simply numb, you could float out of your mind and feel as if you were normal for a couple of hours, maybe you would feel less helpless.

Fear would enrapture you daily with a simple memory. You would wake up in the night, chest burning, phantom pain spreading through your chest as you felt a paring knife dig into your skin again. You knew you were safe, but something as simple as a kitchen knife made your heart race. That wasn’t normal, you knew it wasn’t normal. You just didn’t know who to talk to, you couldn’t think of anyone.

So you were lying down on your couch, staring up at the ceiling as you tried to think about anything else but the abduction. There was a fleeting thought, one involving Spencer Reid. He had given you his number to call if you ever needed to, but every time you would punch the numbers into your phone you would stop yourself from pressing the call button. Convincing yourself that he simply gave you his number to be nice, not because he was trying to be your friend. You realized how painfully stupid you sounded, but you decided you were right and left it alone for now.

March 21, 20XX

You were lying in your bed, feeling soft air fan your face as you opened your eyes. You smiled seeing him next to you, you couldn’t make out his face but you were comfortable with that. You let out a giddy giggle as you felt his hands wrap around your torso. You went to say his name, but that’s when you woke up.

Your heart was racing as you rolled over to your right, letting out a secretly disappointed sigh as you saw that no one was there. Heather had left you hating most romantic things, you had a personal thing against roses now, but even she couldn’t ruin romantic dreams. You were happy those were yours to enjoy still. You rolled onto your back, pressing a hand into your chest as your heart thundered in your chest. It had been so long since your last romantic endeavor, well unless you counted Heather as a romantic endeavor, which you did not. You were happy being single, but certain things would happen that would make you suddenly feel very, very, lonely. You loved, love, but you weren’t quite ready to feel it yet. Something always seemed to hold you back when in the presence of new romance, this time that thing was trauma. You couldn’t imagine being happy with anyone, especially not now.

You relaxed into the mattress, letting out a soft hum as you closed your eyes again, reliving the dream you had just seconds ago. It would be nice to have that, but it was just a dream and that was all it would be for now.

You sat up with a gentle grunt, you didn’t want today to be like the last, today maybe you would do something differently. You didn’t want to feel like porcelain today, you wanted to feel normal again. You had spent twelve days feeling broken, so maybe today could be different. You slipped one slipper on, the cast on your right leg already working as a big, hard, slipper, as you made your way towards the kitchen.

You were about to make something for breakfast, toast a bagel if that counts as breakfast when there was a gentle knock at the door. You hobbled over as fast as you could, opening it to see a man standing there with red roses. You felt your mouth go dry as you stared at them. He frowned when he looked at you, apologizing for going to the wrong apartment. You shut the door quickly but stood there frozen. You felt your chest tighten as you let stray tears fall from your eyes. You walked back into the kitchen with tears streaming down your face as you put the bagel into the toaster.

You were sitting at your kitchen table, picking at your bagel as you thought about it all. You needed to think about it because you couldn’t let something as simple as a bouquet of roses make you feel so helpless. You couldn’t let that experience hold so much power over you.

It would be smarter to visit a therapist, but you were already struggling to make ends meet, no need to add to that problem. So, for now, you were your therapist. The healthy thing would be to think about the present instead of focusing on the past, however, the past was also just twelve days ago. It was possible that in this situation it was better to simply give it time. To let the pain run its course until one day you woke up and felt better, but that was just as good as not doing anything. You had to do something, it would drive you crazy to just simply wait around to feel better. That wasn’t who you were, you took a tiny bite of your bagel.

Spencer was on the plane, coming back from a case in Arizona. He was leaning his head against the walls of the plane, gazing out the window to watch the clouds. In the past twelve days, he felt particularly strange. By strange, he felt like something was in the works. He was an avid follower of philosophy, he had a bachelor’s degree in it after all, but he didn’t know how he felt about fate. A little over fifty percent of Americans believed in fate, but Spencer didn’t know which part of the statistics he fell under; the fifty percent that didn’t believe or the fifty percent that believed.

Nonetheless, he felt as if something was going to happen. It wasn’t a good feeling, nor was it a bad feeling, it was just simply a feeling. An anxious shiver moved down his spine as he watched the clouds move, he was hoping it would be a good thing.

The sun was setting now and you, having spent all day trying to decide what could help you, watched it from your window. The sky was turning a beautiful color of purple and pink, the colors mixing as you sat on the edge of your bed. You blew some hair out of your face, picking up your phone. You looked down at your cast as you typed in the number, fingers shaking with anxiety as you hit the green button at the bottom of the screen.

“Dr. Spencer Reid,” you smiled hearing his voice, feeling unusually calm all of the sudden.

“Hi, Spencer,”

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mylovehes · 5 years ago

Text

Agent

Masterlist

Summary: Spencer is constantly mean to reader so she calls him agent to purposely get on his nerves. One day Spencer has enough and shuts the reader up.

A/N: This is one of my first writings so any feedback is appreciated I hope you enjoy! Also feel free to leave a request!

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Smut 18+

Today was just like any other day. I’ve been working for the BAU for almost five years now as an assistant for the whole team following them wherever a case may take them and even occasionally consulting. My favorite part of the job was teasing a certain messy curly haired guy, well besides helping catch the bad guys of course.

One of the rules I have to follow being the BAU’s personal assistant is not being able to go home until everyone else has, even if they decide to stay late. You can imagine how frustrating that is especially since it seems like Spencer was purposefully staying late every night, knowing how much it annoys me, when I would much rather be curled up on the couch at home reading a book and drinking some coffee.

“Are you almost done agent?” I asked Spencer with a sarcastically sweet voice, setting the copies he asked me to make for him down on his desk. The truth was Spencer hated being called agent instead of doctor and I knew that, but of course I had to get his blood boiling just a little bit. Spencer rolled his eyes and grabbed the papers stuffing them into the case file and putting it in his bag

“If you hate being here so much y/n, then why don't you just quit?” Spencer spit back annoyed with me and the improper use of his title. Spencer has had a problem with me since I started working for the BAU and I can't figure out why. eventually I gave up trying to figure it out and began purposely trying to piss him off.

“Well agent, I actually happen to like my job, just not staying way passed my scheduled time every night while you sit there and do paper work,” I said sitting on the corner of his desk pushing aside some of his papers which I knew also annoyed him.

“Call me that one more time, see what happens,” Spencer said glaring over at me while packing up his stuff for the night. Finally.

“Am I supposed to be scared of you?” I said looking him in the eye challenging him. I always had a crush on Spencer, but never acted on it due to him always being an ass towards me for no reason.

“Maybe you should be y/n,” Spencer said standing up and towering over me while wearing a smirk on his face as I was still sitting on his desk. My breathe caught in my throat and I suddenly forgot how to breathe or speak. We both were chest to chest, me looking up at him through my lashes while he glared down at me. My gaze glanced down to his plump lips while his glanced down towards mine. Suddenly Spencer pulled away like he forgot where he was for a minute. “I’m done for tonight you’re free to go.”

I began collecting what little stuff I brought with me and then headed towards the elevator which Spencer had just stepped on. I glanced over at Spencer wondering if there was any chance he could feel the same about me. The way he looked at me back there wasn’t how coworkers look at each other. Suddenly an idea popped into my mind.

“Have a good night agent,” I said right before the elevator dinged and the door opened. I almost made it out the door when I felt a yank on my arm and a hand threading through my hair roughly pulling my lips to Spencer’s. He pushed me up against the wall kissing me roughly until my lungs burned for oxygen and I had to pull away for air.

Spencer continued to trail sloppy wet kisses down my neck slightly sucking here and there. A small moan left my lips as he kissed a particular spot on my neck causing my hips to push forward onto his prominent bulge. Spencer let out a groan causing me to smirk.

“Well if you wanted to kiss me so bad agent all you had to do was ask,” I said teasingly knowing the way he was kissing me was in need of more than just my lips.

“Shut up,” he said grabbing my arm and pulling me towards his car. I hoped into the passenger side while he got in the drivers side quickly starting the car and heading towards his place. He put his hand on my thigh and I clenched them together, suddenly embarrassed by how much of a mess I already was from just a kiss.

As I arrived at Spencer’s apartment he opened my car door for me leading me to his apartment. He opened his door letting me walk in first and before I even had a chance to look at my surroundings he had me shoved against the door kissing me and unbuttoning my blouse. I shoved off his jacket and got to work on the buttons of his shirt trying to undress him as fast as possible.

Spencer began leading me to his bedroom both of us throwing articles of clothing hazardously around his apartment on our way. He kicks the door closed behind him and pushes me down onto his mattress. Our lips lock once again and I let out a quiet groan as Spencer grinds up against me, nothing separating us but his boxers and my thin lace underwear. His lips begin to travel down my jaw leading to my neck sucking soft bruises into the skin there. I reach down and grasp him through his boxers and he grips my wrists pinning them both above my head.

“No touching,” he said moving his hands back down my body, one massaging my breast as his lips begin their work on the other one.

“Spencer please,” I whine lifting my hips up to meet his. He pushes my hips down denying me what I want.

“What do you want?” He asked trailing kisses slowly down my stomach. When he gets to the waist band of my panties he pauses looking up at me expectantly.

“I want you to touch me please,” I whine trying to move beneath him to get any type of friction I can.

“Now why should I give you what you want when you can’t even refer to me by my correct title,” he said kissing lower and lower until his breath was right above where I needed him most.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry just please I need you,” I cried clenching my thighs once again. Spencer pulled my thighs apart settling between them so I couldn't close them again. He slowly dragged my underwear down my legs and threw them to the side.

“Look how wet you are,” He said dragging a finger up my folds causing me to little out a small whimper. “Who made you this wet?” I let out a moan in response threading my fingers through his hair. “I want to hear words,” Spencer said stopping all movement while looking up to my face.

“You did Spence! Please touch me!” I cried with need for the man currently teasing me.

“As you wish,” he said leaning down and sucking licking my clit leaving me a complete and utter moaning mess under him. My fingers clenched in his hair, pulling at the soft curls causing Spencer to moan against me. I cried out getting closer and closer to my orgasm. Just as I was about to come Spencer stopped his movements smiling up at me.

“What the fuck Spencer!” I cried looking down at him.

“If you want to come then call me by my correct title,” he said smirking at me drawing light circles on my bundle, just enough to drive me crazy but not enough to satisfy my hunger. I whined not wanting to give into his demand knowing it would piss him off more but not being able to hold off denying him for long.

“Please Dr. Reid I’m sorry!” I whimpered begging for him to let me get the release I so desperately needed. He applied slightly more pressure but still not enough. “Please just fuck me! I won't call you agent again I’m sorry Dr. Reid I’m sorry!” I cried pulling his head up to mine.

“Good girl listen to you, so needy,” he said traveling back up my body and locking his lips with mine. Spencer pushed his boxers down his legs and lined himself up with me. He thrust into me slowly, both of us letting out a low groan. “Fuck you're so tight y/n.”

His thrusts picked up speed leaving me a moaning mess beneath him. Spencer leaned down connecting our lips while pounding into me with even more force. I pulled away letting out a loud moan as his lips trained down my neck groaning into the skin. Soon I felt the familiar build up signaling my orgasm was quickly approaching. “Spencer I’m gonna-”

“I know baby let go,” he said not far behind me picking up his speed and reaching down to draw circles on my bundle of nerves to bring me to my high sooner. I let out a high moan feeling my orgasm wash over me and Spencer soon came right after continuing to ride out our highs.

Spencer pulled out both of us letting out a small groan at the loss of contact. He laid beside me pulling me over to lay on his chest. After a few minutes I glanced up at him to see if he was still awake. “Spencer can I ask you a question,” I whispered nervous to find out his answer.

“Yeah of course,” he said furrowing his eyebrows and shifting to look down at me.

“Why are you always so mean to me, did I do something wrong?” I asked the question that has been on my mind since the moment I met the young doctor.

“No you didn't do anything wrong y/n” Spencer said sighing. “The truth is I really like you and I thought if I was mean to you, it would make you hate me and I wouldn't have to deal with those feelings and you not feeling the same.”

“Spencer that’s stupid,” I said smiling up at the doctor. “I really like you too. I have since the day I met you.” Spencer smiled down at me pulling our lips into a sweet kiss. I pulled away smiling cheekily at Spencer, “Maybe I should call you agent more often Dr. Reid.”

“Shut up,” he smiled pulling you in for another kiss.

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ivyyreid · 4 years ago

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stars in your eyes

2 description: reader is tortured, spencer tries and save her.

category: definetly angst, maybe a teeny tiny bit of fluff?

tw: death, mentions of cuts, burns, kidnapping, words like ‘whore’, knives.

masterlist

spencer’s pov:

the team sits around the table, at the sacramento police department conference room. well, everyone but y/n. y/n is also the reason the team is in the conference room.

while the team was tracking down an unsub, y/n was kidnapped, drugged, and taken to who knows where.

at 27, she’s the youngest member of the team so everyone is protective of her. but it’s not just because of her age. it’s because she’s just herself. funny, sarcastic, bubbly, bold, gorgeous, and affectionate. even her flaws are lovable.

we all sit at the round table, discussing where she could be. the only thing we know, is that she was taken as leverage, or as a warning. all our other theories on where she could be are a bit too far-fetched.

our unsub is a woman named coleen robbins. she’s been kidnapping, torturing, and killing girls in their 20s who resemble the girl her boyfriend cheated on her with. y/n fit the description exactly. y/h/c hair, y/e/c eyes, and freckles. we didn’t notice until it was too late.

garcia's been on facetime with us for the past two hours, helping us trace pointless leads, or trying her best to track coleen. none of our efforts are working though. y/n’s phone is off, and coleen hasn’t used her credit card or anything. we’re at a loss.

hotch is pacing back and forth by the whiteboard, rossi is staring out the window, emily and jj are looking at every other victim’s file together, derek has his head in his hands, and I’m just sitting here. This is one of the only times where my brain is of no use to the team.

“hey guys?” Garcia’s voice is wobbly, somethings wrong. “i just got emailed a link. you’re gonna want to see this. i’m sending it to you now.” i’m racking my brain trying to think of what the link could be. i have nothing. that is, until a live feed pops up on the television. everyone gasps, and i feel all the blood rush from my face.

y/n is tied to a chair, in the middle of a dark room. there are burns, cuts and bruises all over her body. coleen stands behind her, twisting a knife in between her fingers.

“oh my god,” hotch mutters, and everyone else just stares at the television in stunned silence. “go on, you little whore. say your goodbyes,” coleen’s icy voice slips through the speakers in the room, and I hold back the urge to punch the tv screen.

y/n looks up, her face illuminated by a single light bulb. she smiles weakly. she’s the only person I know who would focus on others feelings in a situation like this.

“hey guys,” she says, her voice wobbling a bit. for some reason she’s smiling a bit. “i wish i could say bye in person, but this is the best i can do i guess,” she laughs weakly, and plays with her fingers; her nervous habit.

“rossi,” she starts, and he looks up at the screen, his eyes brimming with tears. “oh my god I’m going to miss you so much. you’re the only person I know who brings instant pasta in their suitcase, and you can always make me smile. just, keep being yourself, don’t change.”

“hotch, you’re like the strict, loving father I never had” her voice breaks, and she laughs a bit. no one else does. “you were always there for me, for my first dead body, my first case, everything. you’re the reason that i didn’t quit after my first case. you helped me get through it, and you can always keep me on track. i’ll miss you so much.” hotch tries to maintain a normal, serious expression but I can see the pain in his eyes.

“emily, you’re so funny and sarcastic and beautiful and amazing. i’m always wishing i knew more about you, you’re just so interesting! i still can’t tell if you were joking when you said you worked at a strip club or not,” a tear spills out of Emilys eye, and she mumbles something to the tv screen. “i love you endlessly, please please never change,” y/n says, and i see her blink away a tear or two through the screen.

“penelope, you’re probably one of the most unique, amazing people i’ve ever met. i remember on my first day i was so scared and nervous, and you just gave me a huge hug when i walked in, and I knew everything would be fine. i love your hair, and your outfits, and the way you greet the phone. i love you so much, never ever change or I will rise from the dead and perform some satanistic ritual on you” I hear penelope cry through the facetime video.

“derek. you’re just so great, and it will always amaze me how you always have a girl on your arm. i loved every second of getting drunk with you, even when you would force me to do karaoke. please do me a favor and marry penelope.” derek puts his hand on his head, and stays silent. i can see the emotion on his face.

“and jj, I don’t know how to thank you for being my first real best friend. i never really had people i could trust, but then i met you and i knew, i knew we would be friends until the end. you’re so gorgeous, i’ve spent hours wishing i was you. i’ll miss our saturday girl’s breakfasts, and our movie nights, and even you calling me at four am to say we have a case. love you forever.”

jj sobs, but everyone else is too upset to comfort her. i know it’s my turn for the goodbyes. but i can’t do it. i want to run out of the room, punch a wall, i can’t do this. i can’t watch her say bye to me, while i think about everything i never said, everything i should have said. i should have said it when we sat on the roof and watched the stars. i should have said it when we sat in the car and ate ice cream and listened to 90s music. i should have said it everytime we sat in the cafe and drank coffee with way too much sugar. i should have said it. but i didn’t. and now it’s too late.

“spencer.” y/n’s voice comes in through the tv, and i bring myself to look up. she has a sad smile on her face, and she’s holding back tears. “spencer, my best friend. not even my best friend. best friend was just too generic, you were so much more than a best friend. we were the type of people who would look at the stars together, and talk about constellations, and the theory of the universe together. we were the type of people who would come over to each others apartments at three am and watch movies or lay in bed and stare at each other and just talk. we were the type of people who would sit in the parked car, eating ice cream and forcing each other to listen to nineties music or beethoven. we would sit together in the police department for hours, drinking coffee to keep us awake while we tried to solve a case. we would laugh at each others jokes that no one else understood, and compare our opinions on classic novels. i remember the first day i met you, when i spilled coffee all over you in the elevator, and you told me this crazy fact about how meeting someone for the first time when you’re embarrassed strengthens a relationship. and then i remember i took you out for coffee because i felt bad, and then you accidentally spilled it on me. i remember getting home and laughing for hours. we were the type of people who were happier when we were with each other. and whatever star I was born under, you were born under it too. we’re not best friends spencer, we’re soulmates. and...and....I love you.” her voice breaks, and she looks at the camera with a nostalgic face, like she’s already gone.

i cry, i can’t help it. i just want to scream, ‘i love you too!’. i want her to hear me. but it’s too late. it will always be too late.

-------------------------------------------

we’re all in the suvs. coleen gave us her location. i know i should be rejoicing, but it was what she said after she gave it. ‘now you’ll be able to watch her die.’ I yell at morgan to go faster, even though deep down i know he’s doing everything he can.

‘now you’ll be able to watch her die.’

after what feels like an eternity, we pull up to a small shed. everyone jumps out of the van, vests on, guns and flashlights in their hands. morgan kicks down the door, and we all run in. i hear hotch yell that he has coleen, but i don’t care. i need to find y/n. i run from room to room, panicking, until I reach a small porch at the back of the house. and y/n’s there.

she always seemed so large in life, but now, nearing her death, she seems so small. like a little girl. i hold back tears, i have to be strong for her. she’s lightly breathing, and watching the sky. when I reach her, i sit down, and cradle her head in my lap.

“i wanted to see the stars,” she whispered, and i nod, watching her face.

“remember that day…. that day in the park?” she says, tilting her head to look up at me.

of course i do. we had just gotten back from a long case, and y/n had me come to the park with her, to watch the sunset. we laid down in the grass, and watched the sky. i was still struggling with the case, and i was telling her about how awful it was, when she grabbed my hand, and pointed at the sky. look at how beautiful the world is, she had said. without hard cases, and ugliness, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate this. we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the beauty of everything, she told me, and I remember I had just stayed silent, watching the angelic-looking girl.

“of course,” I say, and she smiles up at me, blood dripping down her face.

“remember how pretty the sunset was? how beautiful everything was? you have to remember the beauty of that day, spencer. the sky was glowing, and trees were rustling, and birds were singing. the earth is beautiful. that was the day I knew i loved you. when I held your hand, and we just looked at the sky.” she brings a hand up, and touches my face gently. of course she’s the one who’s comforting me when she’s dying. i stay silent, cradling her head, and stroking her hair. she looks at me again, and i see pain in her eyes. “i don’t want to die, spencer” y/n whispers, her voice breaking a bit, “i don’t want to die like this. i don’t want to die, spence” a tear slips down her cheek, and i notice i’m crying a bit. “hey, hey, shhhhh” i comfort, wiping the tear off her face. she stares back at the stars. this is my chance to tell her. i know she’s going to die, and it’s completely pointless because she already knows, but I have to.

“i love you, y/n. i love you so much. i’ve loved you, and i don’t want you to go”. the girl turns and looks at me, a sad smile on her face. “i know, spence. and i love you too. so much”. I stroke her hair, wishing I could kiss her but i can’t. she looks at my red eyes, and my tear stained cheeks, and starts humming. humming a song. our favorite song. my head fills the lyrics in.

you’re a part time lover, and a full time friend.

the monkey on your back is the latest trend,

i don’t see what anyone can see,

in anyone else.

i kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train,

i kiss you all starry eyed my bodies swayin’ from side to side

i don’t see what anyone can see,

in anyone else, but you.

here is the church, and here is the steeple,

we sure are cute for two ugly people,

i don’t see what anyone can see, in anyone else.

suddenly, she stops and turns and looks at me, and suddenly i realize this is it. “i can see the stars in your eyes, spence” she whispers, and i watch as the breath leaves her body. the way she sadly smiled, before her eyes glazed over to look at the sky, the way her lips parted. and it’s kind of beautiful. but there was something sad and terrible about it too. because it was death.

i can see the stars in your eyes, spencer.

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