#Sorry this weird shit has been I'll i've been doing lately. It's all I've felt inspired to do.

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Character voice

Thanks to @elsie-writes here, @elizaellwrites here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, and @willtheweaver here.

Rules: rewrite a given line in your OCs' voices!

Got long, under the cut :)

"I've got a headache."

Lexi: "Oh, man I got a headache. Well, that's what ibuprofen is for. Time to go out to a crowded bowling alley!"

Maddie: "I've felt worse. I'll be fine." (Is dizzy)

Ash: "I have felt worse before. Maybe I should use those probing devices :)" (bad idea)

Gwen: (if she has nothing to do) "I should probably go lie down. I don't feel good." (If she does) "I feel terrible, but I'll push through. For [person]."

Robbie: "Pfft I'll be fiiiine don't worry about it! I have braved through more before!" (Is later seen lying down)

Akash: "No need to worry about me. I'll take some Tylenol and be okay."

Jedi: "I will be alright. We have medication for a headache." *Injects himself with some over the counter drugs*

Carmen: "Everyone BE QUIET I have a headache!"

Everyone is so healthy here (:

Prompt: Uh oh, you forgot to do something very important!

Lexi: "Oh no! I forgot!?? How??" *flips frantically through her color-coded planner* "I couldn't have forgotten to write it down.... it's not possible...it has to be here somewhere..."

Maddie: "I did? Whoops."

Ash: "Oh. Sorry. Uh, guess I'll try and remember next time."

Gwen: "Oh my gosh I am so sorry I forgot!! I've been under so much stress lately... It won't happen again. What can I do for you to help?"

Robbie: "Oh SHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT--" *scrambles around trying to get it done in five seconds*

Akash: "WHAT?! Shit, there's no way I forgot... Guess I did, huh. What is wrong with me? This is why I write stuff down... Oh, um, sorry I forgot, man. Uhh hey is there any way I can make this up to you? Like now? Cause this may haunt me."

Jedi: "Oh, I am terribly sorry... It must be sleep deprivation... I apologize, I will go do that now."

Carmen: *borderline panic attack, likely kicks or punches something*

"Where are we? How did we get here?"

Perfect for TSP actually

Lexi: "Wait, what just happened? Everything just simultaneously changed. The temperature and humidity levels are different. I must be dreaming." (Anxious)

Maddie: "Woah that was super weird. Where do you think we are? (Excited and curious)

Ash: "What-- that isn't possible...but it clearly is... what happened?" (Is also genuinely curious)

Gwen: "Woah. How did we get here? It's... admittedly cool here. Beautiful even."

Robbie: "Holy shit, where are we?! Did I blackout? Or was I just walking and not paying attention so much I took a wrong turn?"

Akash: "Dude...what happened? Did we take a wrong turn? I don't think we did - I was paying attention."

Jedi: "Well... *looks around and pokes at the map on his tablet* it appears this map was not as straightforward as I assumed. I frankly have no idea how we got here. I suppose we are lost. Well, if we must be here, let us survey the area and collect data." (This is what I call the Star Trek Voyager method)

Carmen: "Who gave me wrong directions?! There is no way I possibly got lost. Who can tell me in precise detail how we got here?!"

"I don't have enough curse words for how much you pissed me off."

This one was harder than I thought because most of these guys don't get cold angry, but I'll try.

Lexi: "I have a pretty large vocabulary. I know all the synonyms for, like, every curse word. But I don't think that I know enough for you!"

Maddie: "Hm. I'm not sure I can think of enough curse words that can describe how I feel toward you. Like, none of them work."

Ash: "I would love to cuss you out, but nothing is accurately describing how mad I just got."

Gwen: "I'm not exactly one for swearing, and I'm really pissed that I can't use any cuss word in English, Spanish, or Italian because you're making me so angry."

Robbie: "Bro, I have the most creative swears I know, and even I can't think of one you deserve."

Akash: "Y'know you're pissing me off so much that I literally cannot think of a good enough swear for you."

Jedi: "I will have you know that I am not one for expletives, and I see that this is because I have never been able to find one that quite describes how I am feeling toward people like you."

Carmen: "I would love for you to see how angry I am, but unfortunately you're such an irritating idiot that I cannot find a single swear in my vocabulary that can accurately depict that fury!"

"You want me to eat that?"

Lexi: "Oh, you want me to eat this? Um, that's...fine, thank you.... Y'know I actually ate a lot earlier, and I don't think you want me to eat anything else...thanks though. Really thoughtful of you."

Maddie: "I don't want to eat that."

Ash: "No offense, but I'm not going to like this."

Gwen: "It was very sweet of you to think of me, but I don't actually like [ingredients]. Yeah...sorry. I feel bad, can I do anything for you?"

Robbie: *long exhale* "Look, man, I know you worked really hard on this. And...yeah it's awesome for you to uh....do this. But...I don't think you want me to eat that."

Akash: "That food looks interesting. Oh, you want me to eat that? Umm. Okay..."

Jedi: "It would...be my pleasure to eat this. However, I am afraid I don't quite like this meal."

Carmen: "Why would you want me to eat that? It's gross."

Alrighty that's finally done. Softly tagging @aziz-reads @atelierwriting @mysticstarlightduck @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @stesierra @rickie-the-storyteller @sam-glade @memoriethereaderandwriter-blog @ahordeofwasps @spitefulbull + anyone else who wants to

Your phrase is, "Who would leave milk on the counter?"

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

[frostycatblr-fandom-files]

if you're sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, wondering why no one's commented on your hiatus status(es), i'll help you figure out why

you're behaving like a selfish, entitled bitch. you're throwing a pity-me-party while you accuse people of favoritism in the same breath. like, no wonder your ~CoMmUniTy~ won't feel sorry for you, or interact with your bad artwork or your other uninspired bullshit when you bitchfit that no one's sharing your shit: no one wants to interact with that melodrama. there's better writers out there that don't cry about interaction bullshit.

you need to grow the fuck up, and maybe do people all a favor by not coming back.

Wow... thank you for sending me this present shortly before Christmas (Dec. 20th, to be exact). Real lovely stuff.

So listen while I break this down by section and say things later on that I don't mean:

If you're going to call me an 'entitled bitch' or criticize my content, you should really take ownership of your words like a grown-up first. You're welcome to those opinions, I suppose; but it means NOTHING when you send me this from a position of cowardice. If your goal was to hurt my feelings and upset me, I would only award you with partial congratulations, if that.

I'll concede it was a bit of a "bitchfit" if it makes you happy, because yes, it kind of was. I'll take ownership of that: I should have been better, and I wasn't. I should have been a lot calmer, and I wasn't.

Maybe then more people would have given a damn about me and what I had to say. Or maybe they wouldn't. I don't know anymore, quite frankly. I can't say I ever did.

Your point about "better writers out there [who] don't cry about interaction bullshit" is wrong, by the way. I can think of several fan writers (and I'm not going to compare content quality because that's gross) either on my dashboard or in fandom tags (many with larger followings + outreach than me) who've complained about lowered interaction these days at one time or another.

Or several times, even. It was largely and perfectly fine when they spoke up about it. Weird to me, anon, how it's okay when these unnamed and so-called "better writers" speak up, but not the little guys.

Some people are a little too comfortable telling those with smaller followings/outreach to just suck it up because interaction has been bad for everyone lately. Or placate themselves with excuses for why they didn't offer any sympathy to people who admit to struggling with feeling like belonging, or those wishing they felt more included. Noticed. Remembered. (Whatever the case may be.)

I mean I've seen who repeatedly makes the cut on these stale recommendation lists that float around… Your 'pool of so many talented writers/artists in this fandom' is more of a damn puddle. You'll have to fucking forgive me for just wishing to be remembered (for one or the other) and included in these little "~fandom enrichment activities~" at this point once in a damn while! Why's it such a fucking crime to you, anon, that I just want people to remember I'm here too?

I spoke my feelings about things feeling like a popularity contest rather than a true community back in December, and you thought that warrants calling me a selfish, entitled bitch? Telling me do people a favor and not come back?

What the fuck??????

I think you're something of a rancid tar pit for hoping to kick someone while they were down, or whatever it was you intended by all that. Did you get the warm and fuzzies typing this out? Did you feel good about yourself for choosing to be malicious to someone going through a hard time? Someone admitted they were going through a hard time between Seasonal Affective Disorder, and being upset about a lot of trivial stuff, and you thought "Hey; let's pile on!" was the correct solution rather than offer any kindness where you had witnessed a lack of?

It would be so tempting to stoop to your level and wish you nothing but ill on top of telling you to do me a favor and fuck off; I'm going to encourage you to learn to have a little more compassion for people instead and be a better person than whatever you are now going forward. May you learn to be kinder to people in the future, anon… You make the world a far better place that way.

[leviadraws]

helloo i must ask you. your thoughts on yuki (the dra one)

Oh boy, he's a tough one for me, so I'll try to splruge some thoughts. (Sorry I've been slow with asks lately, I promise I'm working on them, also I really need to rewatch DRA at some point but I am tired atm so there may be some inaccuracies).

(under the cut, DRA and some SDRA2 spoilers throughout).

So DRA Maeda is honestly my favourite protagonist in canon and another. Due to the whole reveal at the end and the divine luck factor there's quite a lot of layers to him that you don't think about at a surface level but then you scratch it a little and it's all like "hey this is kinda clever" whether it was intentional or not. But a lot of that would be talking about Utsuro, not Maeda so I'm not really gonna cover it much.

I will say I do love the system headcanons that have been covered by yourself, Nikei, and Dragon (I was going to link posts but jesus finding posts on tumblr is so goddmn hard). I haven't researched the topic well enough to comfortably talk about it myself, and I think you guys have done a pretty thorough job already.

I would like to talk about something that has always bothered me a little, and that's how Maeda/Utsuro are portrayed in the flashback. During the flashback and when Kinjo references their time at Hope's peak, he's referred to as being more Utsuro. But then that doesn't line up with the picture found of the class, where he's clearly appearing as Maeda. I'd like to think that they existed together before the real Yuuki's memories were implanted onto him.

(This is 99% me wanting to have both Maeda and Utsuro in pre-canon haha, but it is interesting). As I said before I've not done adequate research and I don't want to accidentally offend, happy to remove this section entirely if necessary.

So I like him a lot since he's kinda just a kid, yanno? He gets annoyed with the other classmates, he's downright mean sometimes (he's kinda brutal to Satsuki in her FTEs, iirc), and he's kinda bitter in places (him refusing to help Kinjo in chapter 3). It just makes him feel more, real? If that makes sense.

And like in trials, since none of the trials are that hard that we don't get totally baffled, him leading doesn't seem that off. The "smarter" kids of the class are either unhinged (Kinjo) holding information for no reason (Rei), underused by Linuj (Kakeru, Kanata, Kinji), or have a chapter 5 plot device in their head (Mikako). I'd probably want someone like Maeda to lead trials too.

I guess there's that kinda lingering thing that due to divine luck, any leap of logic would always be correct, but it didn't feel jarring since he'd always come across as kinda pragmatic. That and the leaps in logic aren't the level of crazy that SDRA2 chapter 2 and 3 had.

He's also flawed, he doesn't always say the right thing. He doesn't give out hope speeches (that I recall at least, I could be wrong on that one), he succumbs to the motive in chapter 4 just as much as the others do. He holds grudges over the course of the game, he's devastated over Kinjo's actions in chapter 5. Actually his relationship with all three survivors + Taira are really good.

I'm not hugely fond of some of the FTEs with him tho, I sometimes get the impression that they were written earlier? He feels more like the generic protagonist is some of them. Rei's feels like one of the worst offenders of this, like earlier in the game Maeda doesn't really put up with Kinjo's or Rei's bullshit in their attitude to others, but in her FTE he puts up with her shit to hear her story? Idk it felt weird to me.

I do however love his interactions with most of the rest of the cast in the story itself, mainly Kinjo because kshkjefnad they are disasters and I love them so much.

One little thing, I really would've liked to see him snap a little more in canon. There's obviously the part with Mikako, but like so many fucked up things happen and there were like at least three other opportunities off the top of my head?. Can you imagine the slight change in his expression, but his whole vibe just becomes so much darker and the reactions of the people around him?. Kinjo and Akane's reactions (both pre and post chapter 5) would've been so interesting.

Imma probs get on that rewatch now and realise that I missed a load of stuff and feel very silly. But hey, here's a tired mess of thoughts that yous are all free to rip apart and tell me I'm wrong haha.

Also give him a hoodie he a tired boi let him be comfy.

[closetednobody]

C'mon, I cannot be the only that after all the shit they put Maya through with the demotion and the way Beckett was harassing Maya at work that thought that bottle of whiskey was well-deserved revenge?

She didn't force Beckett to drink. That was on him. I would've given Sullivan something too! Like, hire a PI, get photos of him and Ross and put all around the internet, the Stations, etc. If you're going down, bring them with you.

Like, why did everybody forgive Sullivan?

Honestly, there a lots of fingers to be pointed about Maya's breakdown.

Hello OP!

Sorry that I replied to this a little late, but no, you're not alone.

Although I wouldn't encourage Maya's actions, I understand why she felt compelled to do so, especially with how she was raised by Lane Bishop.

I also partially disagree with Ben's "you did that because you were in a bad place," and for Maya to "apologize when you feel comfortable" because it wasn't entirely Maya's fault. They saw how Maya was being bullied by Beckett - what did they do for their former captain who was demoted for saving a kid's life? NOTHING.

Of course, one would argue that Maya could learn from Andy's more diplomatic approach or Sullivan's more political (read: cunning) approach. Or maybe , she could've been patient for slightly longer, and things would've unraveled itself. But Maya has been patient - from being ignored by McCallister, bullied by Beckett, and unfairly lectured by Ross. In one of my posts, I've explained what could be Maya's thought process behind the blackmail (and probably why she wouldn't send PI on Sullivan and Ross) and that was the start of her... downward spiral.

So... should Maya give that bottle as revenge? No. If she is as heroic and noble as Andy Herrera, she shouldn't.

But Maya is an anti-hero. The twisted protagonist with a dark side. One who has been treated unfairly and has been "nice" for too long, and without Carina in her corner, she was... wounded. Feral. Desperate.

So, as far as Maya was concerned, Beckett was not an alcoholic when she gifted the bottle to him, as per Ross' wise and fair evaluation. So, a little whiskey to celebrate should be fine. (Maya's smirk when she left the room was sinfully satisfying.)

Should Maya apologize? Objectively, she doesn't have to. Conscientiously? She can. But it's not her fault. I hope we can delve a little more on her self-blame tendency, which is common amongst people who are recovering from traumas.

Sullivan's case? Honestly? Imo, it is just how the system/society treats men and women differently.

If a man fights for his rights for power, he is passionate and driven.

If a woman does the same thing, she is reckless and selfish.

Why? Because by social norm, women would generally become the "healer" while men are demanded to be the "hunter" - fascinatingly, it's something that is almost coded in our brains. But society and gender roles have changed so much that our brain, weirdly, couldn't adapt to it, hence creating biases that we subconsciously practice.

As "healers" (e.g., homemaker, mothers, etc), women are expected to be role models who are patient, forgiving, respectable, loving, optimistic, and the list goes on. Believe it or not, these are some of the traits associated with maternal qualities. Phew.

As "hunters" (e.g., earners, husbands, etc), men are expected to be goal-driven and focused because their main role is, basically, to go out, find supplies, and get their ass home, safely. They are expected to protect their home and dependents - by all means, at all cost.

But centuries have passed, and society has evolved. Even gender roles have shifted now, and the old norm doesn't seem applicable anymore. BUT! Our mind doesn't know that. (Recommending "The Idiot Brain" by Dean Burnett if you are interested in this weird conundrum.)

It's frustrating. But... *shrugs*

I never liked Sullivan after what he did to Maya, and I don't think I ever will.

I think I am rambling... so I'll stop here. 😆😂

[darlingian]

tagged by @deedala , @thepupperino, @gardenerian, @gallawitchxx, @energievie tag game tuesday. thanks for thinking of me!

name: Chani ✨

sun sign: capricorn. ♑

what day of the week were you born? Saturday.

first app you open in the morning: whatsapp or discord.

last song you listened to: Little Hell by City & Colour.

what type of phone do you have? Galaxy Z flip 4. I adore having a flip phone again.

something you’d like to learn how to do: I'd love to get into book binding, and or wool felting. But then again, I have oodles of other creative pursuits I've yet to fully dive into but own all the supplies for.

art gallery or history museum? While I do love a good art gallery (Always check out the AGO when I have the chance when I'm in Toronto) I'm in love with niche history museums. Little hole in the wall museums that are community run or are passion projects. I've been to a nursing museum, a medical instruments museum, penitentiary museum, so many more. I love em all.

your least favorite chore: Tidying. I'll scrub a toilet, wash floorboards, and dust till the cows come home. But I hate little scattered messes.

do you believe in fate? I'm so far past believing in anything but the pure random chaos of the universe. I don't know that anything is meant to be. Too much needless shit happens for me to find much meaning in it. I've learned that we just have to be as kind as we can, love as hard as we can, and maybe leave some good behind us in the chaos.

if offered immortality, would you take it? Oh we are immortal. I don't think love ever truly passes. The carbon we are made of was a part of life before us. It will be after. Everyone that was is still here.

how are you feeling right now? Raw. Lonely. Sadder than I thought possible. Sadness is so weird. I'm used to feeling empty. But the sadness has filled me right up. It's a new thing to be so full. I think it's better. It's painful as fuck, but it beats nothing every time.

finally, tell me something you’re looking forward to: A day when it's easier to take a breath. A day when I can rest easy. The green spring has finally given us is giving me thoughts of reading in the park, foraging, and picnics. That would be lovely.

Got too sad on main again. Lmao sorry. and as always I'm so late in filling this out that everyone has either already filled it out or been tagged a billion times. Gah. sorry.

[six-of-ravens]

aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella 🥘). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing

[maria-eve-falcon]

Astrologically speaking, the way she felt kinda tracks..

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cnc3vqZL25l/

An excerpt:

Joe's Venus in Pisces is capable of a very iconic, all-consuming, unconditional and potentially endless love. Their Venus/Pallas conjunction playing out in Taylor's 4th house, which represents the domestic sphere, stresses once more that he really likes her for her, and not for her stardom. ⚪ But is it all picture-perfect between these two? Probably not. Their Venus/moon square indicates that Taylor sometimes doesn't feel "properly" loved by him. With his Venus in Pisces, Taylor might sometimes perceive Joe as distracted or might feel like she isn't in the center of his attention or even on his radar. ⚪ He might appear elusive at times and erratic in his way to show her his love. With Taylor being a Cancer moon (wanting to care for others and to be cared for; easily irritated by the behavior of others; needing to feel loved and secure), this might cause trouble in paradise,

Omg omg I agree! I also think that she is very complex when it comes to love cause she mind not want it overdone but she feels not properly loved easily.

Sorry took a me a long time to see this ask anon.

Ik shit bout atrology but this person seems accurate. Also thank you sooo much for the excerpt.  The things they pointed out (I could see much cause I have no insta, thanks for the excerpt again)

Seemed quite there, also this made me smile:

So, I think I totally almost totally agree with antphodite here.so imma share this too

https://youtu.be/nktwP_c085c

ik shit bout astrology but Joe seems to me like a person Who knows what he wants, is secure idk what level and yes. I feel he is a very bad communicator.  Cause he goes like , "I feel weird" instead of going like "I don't like it. Or I hate this "

I also think as I've been a fan of tay longer than joseph, she's the typa person who is pretty insecure. Maybe I'm projecting but, I feel she's the type to go "if he says he loves me...for...me.... is he for real?" And when someone goes like, "No it is for real" she won't believe easily. Like I do that too cause the crappy shits that have Happened before. And she already makes up her mind. That can be overwhelming for a person like joe who seems very calm and quiet but confident.  Tay is the exact type to be like "I'll search for your darkside even tho I'm alright here." But hen again it's not her fault cause crappy relationships and it's not his fault that he wants just to relax sometimes and not give in to her bs or over thinking tendencies. I also think she has a hard time adjusting as she has said in nothing new and other songs. Since she got to know that someday this fame won't be here. So...

But I hope she realizes that these 70k people or more all around the world will never know her . Like will never really know her. At they end of the day , they won't matter. This fame, it won't matter except that it lets her earn money. ,(don't come at me cause it's true. I'd rather have one true friend than millions of dollars and thousand of people who'll never know me)( not strictly about swiftwyn)

As antiphodite,  I also had a feeling like she's gonna be like "this fame took everything from me lil by lil" for a very long time.  I hope she realizes or it'll be too late too soon.

I hope happiness for all and soon

[kimmimaru]

So, probably a bit TMI (mentions of mental health) for random internet strangers but oh well. I'm sticking it under a cut for people who don't care lol.

So, I've been having a...difficult time lately. I'll keep it simple and just say I'm struggling pretty bad with personal shit. Anyway, I was considering looking into counselling but the NHS no longer fund talking therapy, it's only CBT and stuff which is helpful but not what I need. So I'd have to pay through the nose. And even if I could afford it I've only been able to find 1 single person in my entire town who specialises in treating autistic people. There may be more but honestly I have no idea where to even begin looking. Also like there's loads of groups for older people and people with toddlers but nothing for parents of older kids, groups for the parents I mean. I struggle very badly with making friends and talking to people, I'm awkward as fuck and have no idea how to socialise. Unfortunately I'm not a child so don't have anywhere to go to meet people like me. It's hard to make friends when neurotypicals have an instinctual dislike of autistic people (ok not everyone but apparently they can identify people as 'weird' without even speaking to them and generally tend to avoid us). Sorry, I did say this was probably TMI, but I'm just so fucking lonely and so stressed I'm having heart palpitations. I'm not sleeping either and unfortunately I don't have anyone to actually talk to about it so this is why I'm posting this here. Its at least just getting it all off my chest, even if it's not a long term solution maybe it'll be enough to actually help me get some sleep tonight. My mum was the person I talked to about all this shit, the only one I felt I could actually confide in and she's gone. I have family but they're busy with their own lives and tbh...I never felt like they ever really got me. My dad's a very closed off man, not in a cold way, he was always affectionate but he and my mum got divorced a long time ago and since then I've never felt able to talk to him about deep stuff. I suppose it's something to do with broken trust and all that crap. My sisters are way too busy and have their own problems and lives and my only brother is a lot older than me and far away. They all love me and care about me, I have never doubted it but none of them are neurodivergent. They don't understand me really and never have (that's not a self pitying 'oh woe is me' it's just a fact). It's a very weird feeling to be surrounded by people who love you but knowing they just don't get you. I am extremely aware that people would kill to have what I do, a big, loving family and they try really hard to understand and help but sometimes you just need more weirdos like you who see the world the same way and have the same kind of issues you do. What I want is a day. Just one single fucking day where I can just do what I need to do around the house without just staring at it for hours before I work up the spoons to do it. I want one day where I can actually do something creative as I've lost my drive (probably temporary, depression usually has the opposite affect on me and I write MORE when I'm depressed for some reason). I want to play with my daughter without constantly worrying about if she'll eat something other than junk food (she's an extremely picky eater), or is she'll take a bath without a fight or if she'll actually drink something for a change (yes, we are in contact with doctors about all this, it's just an extremely slow process). I want to wake up and not be exhausted for a change, I want to not be in constant pain for no fucking reason (chronic fatigue...yay). I want to not spend my days unable to focus on anything, to not be constantly disassociating because my stupid brain can't cope with too much sensory input. I am exhausted, I'm grieving and I just want to be normal for a fucking change. Anyway, it's all a lot more complicated than what I've written and it's very unlikely this makes any sense at all. But I needed to write it down, to tell someone, somewhere just so I can stop obsessing over all these thoughts. Maybe now I can sleep.

[plural-affirmations]

not a request, but i just want to say thank you. i have OSDD-1a and found out fairly recently, i've been in major denial about it even though my mom and partner have been like "no.. that makes sense.. let us help you... it's okay!" and that's just been making me feel even more guilty because i already knew i was schizoaffective and had BPD and already kinda felt like a burden because of that so I've finally gotten around to researching dissociative symptoms more to see how accurate this whole thing actually is... and thank you. at first i was crying and getting angry thinking, no it can't be, how is so much of this so relatable? I can't really be a system can I? and I realized, my main hang up is just as someone who is cephalaconcious (THANK YOU for teaching me that word by the way holy shit) I hate calling myself a system. And I have aphantasia so my innerworld doesn't really feel that complex compared to how other people describe theirs. Which makes me feel even weirder about calling myself a system. I call my splits exactly that, splits, which I feel is accurate for my experience with OSDD-1a. And anything going on in my brain amongst splits I just refer to as headspace, even if it's technically innerworld stuff? I don't know if there's actually a difference. But basically, I want to say thank you for opening my eyes to the fact I need help and it's okay to need it and ask for it, and also I wanted to ask, is referring to them as splits okay? Or is that bad/weird to do? I know some people call them friends and I like that for some of them but I also have a couple protectors (I think I'm using that correctly I'm sorry this is all really new for me) that I'm not very fond of, so friends doesn't work as an umbrella term for me. Thanks for reading this! Sorry for infodumping, this was originally just gonna be a quick thank you.

Hey, no worries at all for the ask length anon! I'm totally ok with long messages :) And I'm so glad you've found our blog meaningful to you! 💙 We truly try our best, even if our posting gets a bit spotty now and then lately, haha.

First of all, I wanted to say, in case no one's told you today... I'm so proud of you! Discovering there's more than one consciousness in your body can be really life-changing and overwhelming, so you're handling it really well from what I can tell!

And, you mentioned terminology concerns, so I'll go over those.

It's ok to not call yourself a system if you don't want to! You can just be "a person with OSDD-1A", if you find that the most fitting for you! Or "plural", or "median" (explanation of median: link), or any number of labels. It's about you are your brain buddies' comfort levels.

"Splits" is totally ok to use, too! Some other words you could use are ones such as headmates, system members, sysmates, friends, alters, and probably others I'm forgetting. We made a whole post about it, I'll link it here: link 2

And, yes! "Headspace" and "innerworld" are typically interchangeable synonyms for most people. You can say either! :)

"Protectors" is probably correct, though you may want to look into the definition of persecutors, too: link 3

I hope this has found you well! Please stay safe, keep in touch if you need absolutely anything else, and happy syscovery!

🖤💜💙💚💛

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

(sorry, not for the ask game, and if you're like me your ask box is piled full of stuff you meant to reply to, so don't worry about replying to this one)

it occurred to me the other day that i think about eucatastrophe a lot. a lot. nearly too much. every time i feel a plot spinning out of my control, cosmic semi-eldritch horror gets stuck in there even if it's a little silly. furthermore, everything i write now, i think of the shape of a story, and what i'm telling, and how it might fare as feed.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that you've made things that made me want to make things. it's mostly crackfic (that's half a lie. Real Shit always sneaks in there somehow) but i love writing, i think. and what i've written has made other people laugh, which is bonkers. you are an epicenter, however tiny, of wonderful things, too. your actions have greater and lovelier impacts than you could ever know. thank you for sharing, friend. it's done a lot.

Let's be honest, here: 'crackfic' just means it has a premise that's absurd or surprising or just plain weird. just because it's crackfic doesn't mean it can't hit emotional beats as hard as any story with a basic, normal premise. And in some ways I'd argue that stories with absurdist premises can hit those emotional beats harder than ones with regular premises, because by opening up a crackfic you're in some way agreeing to buy into the absurdity, and in that way you're less prepared when a Fighting Fist Full Of Pure Angst comes flying in from stage right to slam you right across the face.

Which is only tangentially relevant to what you just said, I just felt like it needed saying. Anyway. It's so bizarre to know that so many people who I'll likely never meet or recognize in real life have been affected by the things I've spent many late nights working on. People have laughed out loud because of things I wrote, people have cried over my stories, and they live on the other side of the damn world! That's absurd. That's wonderful. It makes it all worth it. The subplot in Eucatastrophe about eating a story being just as filling and fulfilling as eating a universe really isn't that subtle a metaphor, is it? Maybe I wasn't perfectly aware of how on-the-nose it was when I wrote it, but I think I knew exactly what I'm doing.

Thank you for telling me what it means to you. It means a lot to me.

[paperhats-and-evil-schemes]

*The Room voice* OH HI MARK!

Firstly I just wanted to say how nice it is to see you back and dabbling a little bit in Villainous again! 💕 It's been a little slow in the fandom these days, so seeing one of my favourite Paperhat blogs come back has been such a treat! I loved seeing that art + paragraph of Black Hat going absolutely feral! So exciting to see what's in store with White Hat again!

If I may, I had a question I've been wondering about... Will the new(er) Villainous episodes have much impact on your current writings? Like new characters for example, or how the main cast's relationships with each other are developing and such like?

Shit dude, I dunno how I missed this ask for so long, sorry for replying late, totally my bad

I DID NAHT HIT HER, I DID //NAHT//

Lmao but anyway, thank you, you're sweet. 💞 As for your question, that's gonna be a pretty definite "no" from me, tbh. As much as I like the new episodes and characters, I don't really have a fitting place for the new heroes (especially considering, as somebody else sort of pointed out, I already gave Flug a different history with a hero and ex-classmate since we hadn't known his backstory yet at the time) so adding characters like Heed and Goldheart seems a little redundant. I could possibly make cameos of the new BHO clients I guess? But I haven't really considered it or anything. My fics were plotted out years ago back when we only had shorts and orientations to go off of, so it'd feel a bit weird to try and change things now.

On the topic of the dynamic between the characters though, it actually in my opinion? feels a lot different in the episodes as compared to how they all interacted in the shorts, orientation videos, older comics, and all that. I'm not saying I dislike the episodes so far, I still very much enjoy them, but the energy between all the characters has noticeably shifted (especially with BH) in a way that I very much doubt I'll be replicating. I actually saw a post a while ago, when I was perusing tumblr (while my blog was still deleted so I unfortunately couldn't save the post and can't find it again smh, pretty sure it was by @petitprincess1 though) that summed up pretty well how BH feels a lot less "involved" with the group shenanigans now than he was in the shorts & orientations, and that extends to how he interacts with the others, too. Like, with the episodes, it's kind of like he's this completely untouchable entity that's a lot more detatched from what his staff are doing, whereas in the shorts & orientations, he was a lot more involved with them, would horse around and join in when they're all messing with each other or pranking, just felt overall more "present" with the group even though he was still, of course, very much the boss. It's that kind of dynamic that I've always more leaned towards when it comes to my fics, and it's what I prefer overall with the characters. (I'm probably rewording these points like trash lmao, but hopefully you get what I'm saying (also hopefully I didn't misunderstand that last part of your question and ramble on forever about the wrong fucking thing HUHUHU))

It'd be way too much trouble to try and keep up with new things or retcon old fic stuff

Anyway, sorry for being a rambly fuck, but yeah, TL;DR, when it comes to my fics, the character dynamics (especially BH) will continue to more resemble the shorts and orientation videos rather than the full episodes. I don't see much point in changing anything I currently have going on just to fit the newer stuff, it just feels like that'd be kinda tonally jarring, ya feel?

[breathenbounce]

Life block

I am truly sorry I didn't get this done on Wednesday. I have been so good about writing these things on Wednesday, but this week has been a tough one. First I didn't even know what I wanted to write about. What great wisdom could I impart on the small amount of people who read this. Then I realized it's not just writer's block I was suffering from, I was in the middle of a life block as well.

Last week somehow I really hurt my hip. So I have taken a week off from doing my usual routine of fitness which included the yoga and I felt like absolute dog shit. In fact this week has brought up so much shit for me, it has been just difficult going through day to day stuff.

I find myself laying on the couch most of the time, watching FB reels, seeing pictures of my family on my phone randomly come up, just feeling totally miserable. You see, BPD sucks. Sometimes you lose your identity, and then you feel like crap. I have been so depressed since 2015 and it has brought some real havoc into my life. One of the worst parts of my depression is it manifests as anger. I also am so afraid of losing people in my life, I don't always tell them how I feel and what they really truly mean to me. I feel like when I do, they run away, and I have seen that happen recently with some people. So I find myself uncomfortable to live in my own skin.

Taking this break has helped me feel better physically buy mentally it has done a number on me. However, I think there's other things going on. I vomited all over my therapist yesterday with all my depressive stuff and then I drove home hoping to feel better. I didn't. I just drove home in silence with the music off. When I got to Algonquin Rd, I did a shuffle with my music, couldn't find one song I wanted to listen to. Truth is I brought much of this shit on myself. However its because I didn't know how to survive with all these mental health conditions I have. I've lashed out, been defensive, blamed others, etc, etc. I have truly been working hard to reinvent and grow, but I don't feel like I am growing.

People tell me I am, however people important to me refuse to talk to me. I started medication in hopes it would help my depression. Lately, it hasn't. I feel weird when I get around people lately. Like I would rather be anywhere else. I went to a slow yoga class yesterday where we did little movement and it was more like meditation. Every time I go somewhere, I feel like people don't like me and think I am weird. I don't want to talk about it because people will then accuse me of trying to get sympathy, or some other bullshit like that.

Usually here on GC and BNB, I try to be positive. Mainly because I want to help others. I hate to see people feel this way that I'm feeling. Lately I feel like I am not helping anyone, most importantly myself. I got certified to teach yoga and no one wants me to teach. People say they want me to but when I show initiative to want to, I'm shut out. I am trying to put together experiences and having difficulty finding places, but then I say to myself, will people actually come? No one cares about the show.

Then my logical mind or wise mind has to come into play and say that it takes time to build a brand. Then I have to ask myself am I doing the best I truly can? Is my depression stonewalling me from reaching a higher level? I think about so many of the sins I have committed in the past and it makes me feel like maybe I don't deserve anything. Maybe I deserve to be alone. Maybe BNB won't help anyone. Maybe I’m just too much for people and I just have to accept that that I’m not anyone’s cup of tea and people just say things to be nice to me and they don’t really mean them.

Yes, I am in a funk, and I hope I can find a way out of it soon. I feel like the hole gets deeper and deeper that I have to crawl out of day by day. However, I still keep crawling out just to fall back in.

I guess I'll keep fighting. I don't know what else to do. Keep fighting too.

Love,

Michael

[girlyliondragon]

I'm late to say this here but Happy New Year or whatever.

I'll admit I have purposefully not been active here for a variety of personal reasons. The main one being I just don't really feel welcome and I feel very out of place. I still have people popping up in my notifs liking my old fandom stuff and frankly it just makes me really uncomfortable. I don't do that fandom anymore, I don't wanna be involved in that fandom anymore. I wish there was a way to just delete all posts related to it without having to cherrypick through the mass editor tbh. I want to purge it all. I don't want to talk about it outside my very small friend group if they ever were to bring it up again.

I don't really have a community to be a part of here and that makes me feel uneasy. Ironically I've felt more at home on Twitter bc I'm part of a community fandom there that frankly, I would not be able to be a part of here. I will not say where I am on Twitter bc I don't want anyone stalking me there.

If it wasn't for the fact that you can't reuse tumblr names if you deleted an account, I'd have deleted mine and probably never come back until years passed.

It's just hard to feel welcome here when your last experience regarding a fandom was basically being talked out of committing suicide by the people who not only rejected you but never attempted to speak to or interact with you again after talking you out of it, which frankly only makes me think they never actually gave a shit about me or my life by that point, and just didn't want any blood on their hands. I would've been tempted to go back on that as a Fuck You had the latter half of this year which has treated me a lot better not happened. :/

I don't really have any resolutions for here bc there's nothing I can really do here. As of now this is just a blog where I rb stuff here or there, I don't really have the motivation to interact with people outside my circle. I am still drawing but it's nothing I should post here.

Sorry for the extreme downer post, I just feel like a mismatched puzzle piece now and people have only proven to me that I'm not welcome. Hopefully you guys had a better year than me. Whoever's still stuck around well, thanks for doing that when you had all the other times where you probably should've. It's weird to still have friends here, but I sorta appreciate it still.. ik it doesn't sound like it. I'm just still bitter and broken up mentally.

My only resolution is to actually have a space where I can heal and actually surround myself with a community who want me. And I've been doing that. I just don't like posting here specifically.

Maybe I should turn this back into a RB-only type of blog like I wanted it to be in the very beginning before I got into fandom stuff again. Idk, if it'll keep people from expecting things from me.

[dzpenumbra]

4/12/23

I slept pretty crappy. I got up, did my yoga, ate some cereal and passed out in my comfy chair for a few hours.

I tried to use the nap to reset the day, and had a lot of plans. I accidentally ordered a ton of yogurt last grocery order, for some reason it put a giant tub in my order when it wasn't on the list, like I accidentally clicked it or something. So I looked up recipes for meals that have yogurt in them. It's been a while since I've done some real cooking, might as well do it while I have the interest and I'm willing to put in the effort.

I scheduled a food delivery for after my nap, late in the afternoon. I woke up and worked on music until it got here. The guy picking out the groceries did that thing where they refund something off the order real quick right when they get to the checkout, so you can't request a replacement. Really not cool. It happened to be the beans I needed for a meal I was going to make tonight. So... I decided to prep some dried beans that I had in the cupboard.

I made the entire bag, boiled them, let them sit for an hour like the bag said.

I went up to get my groceries and take the recycling out. I haven't showered in 2 days. I've been stressed and sleep deprived and just didn't put in the effort. I don't like showering late at night, I'm afraid of it making a lot of noise and upsetting my neighbors. Like my upstairs neighbor vacuuming the night before Easter, like that. I may not really mind because I'm up late, but I'm sure sleeping neighbors might. So... I was a bit self conscious to start.

I get up to the breezeway and put my bags into the cart, and some kid comes up and asks me if he can have something. I looked up at him super confused. There were like... 5 or 6 kids in the breezeway, like... teenagers, it looked like. High school kids? Not college age, I know that. So... I took a double take, and was like... "what? You want some of my groceries?" And he had a half-smirk on his face and was like "yeah, can I get some of your food." And I made some crappy joke like "okay, I'll sell you something for like $10... groceries ain't cheap, dude..." And... really just tried to get the fuck out of there. The whole interaction was super uncomfortable. This was the first time someone has talked to me face-to-face in probably over two weeks. And he got like... a bit too far into my personal bubble. Like peeking in at my groceries and shit, it was really weird.

It's so odd to me being around people with little sense of boundaries, aloof, oblivious. It's so foreign, so alien.

They were all like.. trying all the doors and shit, it was... getting odd. So I excused myself to the door with my big-ass foldable cart full of groceries and... immediately I could tell they were going to piggyback off my keyfob entry. There were like... 5 boys and one girl, and when I asked if they lived here... the girl came up to me. She said she just moved in, but she was... really avoiding eye contact and being evasive. It was... off. I asked her what floor, she said "downstairs" when there are 6 floors. I asked which floor to clarify, she evaded. I asked what unit and she seemed sketched out, so I just pointed her to the callbox. I started to talk her through how it works, how you can just open it up and open the directory and search for your last name and it will call the resident's phone, and they'll buzz you in. I... assume that the buzzing in would work even if you're not in the building, I mean... it works through phones...

She didn't even get to the directory part, she touched the keypad once, kinda threw up her hands in frustration and left the building. I was just like... "sorry, we're not supposed to let people into the building..." And for a lot of the night, I felt like an asshole for that. Especially because right after that, some guy around my age was coming in clearly coming from the gym on property and I... let him in. XD

I felt guilty for a while. Have I really turned into... the buzzkill adult? The lame old guy? Fucking all the craziness in the world made me forget what it was like for them. How she's probably just trying to bring her friends to her new apartment when her parents aren't home so they can chill without it being weird. All 5 guys going over to 1 girl's apartment... alone... I've just... I've seen enough dark shit out there, and it kinda ruined the innocence of it all. Because, you know, it might not be... In my head, they were sneaking in, or stealing shit, or something. I don't know.

When she left the building, she was talking to her friend, saying something about talking to her mom and saying she was going to run away from home. I don't know what that was about. I'm guessing a passive aggressive way of saying "fuck you" to me, probably, cuz god knows she wouldn't have the balls to say that to my face. That would make sense.

I went down and made the meal. The beans were still hard, and I put way too much in, and... either I ruined the meal or the meal was just not good. And I ate a bunch anyway. And after a bit, I started to feel sick. I still feel sick now, and I've barely eaten anything today. It sucks. I had to throw out so much food. And I didn't start eating dinner until 1:30AM. But, more than that, I just feel like crap. Exhausted, gut rumbling, that thing where you smell something and it turns your stomach and you suddenly get really nauseous. Like... scooping that stew into the trash just brought me back to early mornings scooping dog diarrhea off the carpet and into the trash, and the association became really strong, and then every time I got a whiff of it afterwards... I came really close to puking.

So yeah, I just made ramen and I'm even struggling to eat that. But I need to eat food, all I've had is a bowl of cereal today.

So... today was a bit of a wash.

However... I recorded all the bass and programmed drums for nearly the entire song. Lots of progress. So, every cloud, right? It should be done tomorrow!

Now, I'm gonna make a mad dash to the toilet and pray that I'm not like... sick sick. -_-

[elytrafemme]

hey, okay, so--im terrible with words so forgive me for the probably terrible way im gonna word this, but i'll give it shot:

i just wanted to say that i really enjoy what you do. i've seen your semi-recent(?) posts (the more rant-y/vent-y ones) and though i haven't felt those exact emotions, i've felt in a similar way of not feeling like i've been authentic towards people for like, various reasons and just people getting upset because i'm upset for things they deem as not important. does that make sense? again, sorry for the weird wording.

anyway, i'm kind of off topic now but i'm here to say that i really like your fics. you don't know me, obviously, and i don't know you personally (or even in an online-mutual kind of way) but i want you to know that i want the best for you despite not knowing you. your writing has been a great comfort to me in times where i've felt like complete shit and i always find myself re-reading, like, everything.

what im trying to say is that i just think your stories are cool, and i think you seem pretty cool too and i hope you feel a little bit better, stranger. :)

-- other stranger

hey stranger!

sorry about the late response to this, i've been really bad at keeping up with asks.

i get what you mean about the fears of authenticity and the whole upset-exchanges. things are weird all the time and half of my vent posts here are just trying to piece together things about my own brain and have somewhere to spitball to. i think of it a lot like putting a mosaic together; i think i'm getting closer every day.

thank you so much! i'm sorry that i've been so inactive with working on my fics, but it means the entire world to me that they can bring you comfort. genuinely that's what keeps me writing and ultimately is what will draw me back to working on fics, i think. is knowing that people care about them and can find something important in them.

thank you for your kind words (which are more eloquent than you think they are). hope you are doing well <3

[dekuinthelake]

ManBird here with the depression.