#Sorry this got so long

[migmegjam]

unpopular opinion:

I don't have any dislike towards Cameron. I don't necessarily agree with the way he reacted, but I don't hate him.

I think he's very much a product of the upbringing he and all the boys had: not questioning authority, putting emphasis on a good education and profitable career as life goals, making sure to follow rules and not stand out etc. And I feel like we need to remember that, at the end of the day, he is only 16/17. Kids at that age are very impressionable, and I honestly think it's an understandable reaction that his first instinct upon exepriencing what is a very traumatic and potentially life altering event is to turn to following his authority figures and to lean into what they're saying as truth.

I also think there must be some understandable fear that if he didn't agree with what Nolan and Mr Perry were saying, it would jeapordise his whole future. Based on the reaction we saw from other parents, it would be reasonable to assume that his parents wouldn't have been happy with him if he had supported Mr Keating, and when you've spent your whole life being told that where you go to high school and what degree you get at which university will decide your future, it would be logical for him to decide to follow the rules out of fear.

Whilst I applaud the other poets for having the courage to stand up to the school staff - it is, after all, what we know and love them for - I don't really want to persecute a kid for not having that in him. My only real hope (and personal headcanon) is that an adult Cameron with more perspective and resources would be able to look back and understand that it wasn't actually Mr Keating's fault that things went the way they did, but rather an error in the system that was perpetuated by the adults in his life.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

Is there anything support the populat interpretation that old valriya and valryians in general are more feminist, and progressive than the rest in Asoiaf?

Anon, thank you! I've been wanting to address this for awhile, so I'm going to actually answer this really fully, with as many receipts as I can provide (this ended up being more of an essay than I intended, but hopefully it helps)

I think there's in fact plenty of evidence to suggest that Valyria and the Valyrians in general were anything but progressive. Valyria was an expansive empire with a robust slave trade that practiced incest based on the idea of blood supremacy/blood purity. All of these things are absolutely antithetical to progressivism. There is no way any empire practicing slavery can ever be called progressive. Now, the Targaryens of Dragonstone have since given up the practice of slavery, but they certainly still believe in the supremacy of Valyrian blood.

And I'll see the argument, well what's wrong with believing your blood is special if your blood really is special and magic? Which is just-- if anyone catches themselves thinking this, and you sincerely believe that GRRM intended to create a magically superior master race of hot blondes who deserve to rule over all other backwards races by virtue of their superior breeding which is reinforced through brother-sister incest, and you've convinced yourself this represents progressive values, then you might want to step away from the computer for a bit and do a bit of self reflection.

And remember-- what is special about this special blood? It gives the bearers the ability to wield sentient weapons of mass destruction. It's also likely, according to the most popular theories, the result of blood magic involving human sacrifice. So there is a terrible price to pay for this so-called supremacy. Would any of us line up to be sacrificed to the Fourteen Flames so that the Valyrians can have nukes?

And if you are tempted by the idea that a woman who rides a dragon must inherently have some sort of power-- that is true. A woman who rides a dragon is more powerful than a woman who does not ride a dragon, and in some cases, more powerful than a man who does not ride a dragon, but that does not make her more powerful than a man who also rides a dragon. Dragonriding remained a carefully guarded privilege, and Targaryen women who might otherwise become dragonriders were routinely denied the privilege (despite the oft repeated "you cannot steal a dragon," when Saera Targaryen attempted to claim a dragon from the dragonpit, she was thrown into a cell for the attempted "theft,"words used by Jaehaerys). The dragonkeepers were established explicitly to keep anyone, even those of Targaryen blood, from taking them without permission. Any "liberation" that she has achieved is an illusion. What she has gained is the ability to enact violence upon others who are less privileged, and this ability does not save her from being the victim of gender based violence herself.

Politically speaking, it is also true that Valyria was a "freehold," in that they did not have a hereditary monarchy, but instead had a political structure akin to Ancient Athens (which was itself democratic, but not at all progressive or feminist). Landholding citizens could vote on laws and on temporary leaders, Archons. Were any of the lords freeholder women? We don't know. If we take Volantis as an example, the free city that seems to consider itself the successor to Valyria, the party of merchants, the elephants, had several female leaders three hundred years ago, but the party of the aristocracy, the tigers, the party made up of Valyrian Old Blood nobility, has never had a female leader. Lys, the other free city, is known for it's pleasure houses, which mainly employ women kidnapped into sexual slavery (as well as some young men). It is ruled by a group of magisters, who are chosen from among the wealthiest and noblest men in the city, not women. There does not seem to be a tradition of female leadership among Valyrians, and that's reflected by Aegon I himself, who becomes king, rather than his older sister-wife, Visenya. And although there have been girls named heir, temporarily, among the pre-Dance Targaryens, none were named heir above a trueborn brother aside from Rhaenyra, a choice that sparked a civil war. In this sense, the Targaryens are no different from the rest of Westeros.

As for feminism or sexual liberation, there's just no evidence to support it. We know that polygamy was not common, but it was also not entirely unheard of, but incest, to keep the bloodlines "pure," was common. Incest and polygamy are certainly sexual taboos, both in the real world and in Westeros, that the Valyrians violated, but the violation of sexual taboos is not automatically sexually liberated or feminist. Polygamy, when it is exclusively practiced by men and polyandry is forbidden (and we have no examples of Valyrian women taking multiple husbands, outside of fanfic), is often abusive to young women. Incest leads to an erosion of family relationships and abusive grooming situations are inevitable. King Jaehaerys' daughters are an excellent case study, and the stories of Saera and Viserra are particularly heartbreaking. Both women were punished severely for "sexual liberation," Viserra for getting drunk and slipping into her brother Baelon's bed at age fifteen, in an attempt to avoid an unwanted marriage to an old man. She was not punished because she was sister attempting to sleep with a brother, but because she was the wrong sister. Her mother, the queen had already chosen another sister for Baelon, and believed her own teenage daughter was seducing her brother for nefarious reasons. As a sister, Viserra should have been able to look to her brother for protection, but as the product of an incestuous family, Viserra could only conceive of that protection in terms of giving herself over to him sexually.

Beyond that, sexual slavery was also common in ancient Valyria, a practice that persisted in Lys and Volantis, with women (and young men) trafficked from other conquered and raided nations. Any culture that is built on a foundation of slavery and which considers sexual slavery to be normal and permissible, is a culture of normalized rape. Not feminist, not progressive.

I think we get the picture! so where did this idea that Valyrians are more progressive come from? I think there are two reasons. One, the fandom has a bit of a tendency to imagine Valyrians and their traditions in opposition to Westerosi Sevenism, and if Sevenism is fantasy Catholicism, and the fantasy Catholics also hate the Valyrian ways, they must hate them because those annoying uptight religious freaks just hate everything fun and cool, right? They hate revealing clothing, hate pornographic tapestries, hate sex outside of marriage, hate bastards. So being on Sevenism's shit-list must be a mark of honor, a sign of progressive values? But it's such a surface level reading, and a real misunderstanding of the medieval Catholic church, and a conflating of that church with the later Puritan values that many of us in the Anglosphere associate with being "devout." For most of European history, the Catholic church was simply The Church, and the church was, ironically, where you would find the material actions which most closely align with modern progressive values. The church cared for lepers, provided educations for women, took care of orphans, and fed the poor. In GRRM's world, which is admittedly more secular than the actual medieval world, Sevenism nevertheless has basically the same function, feeding the poor instead of, you know, enslaving them.

Finally, I blame the shows. While Valyrians weren't a progressive culture, Daenerys Targaryen herself held relatively progressive individual values by a medieval metric. She is a slavery abolitionist, she elevates women within her ranks, and she takes control of her own sexuality (after breaking free from her Targaryen brother). But Daenerys wasn't raised as a Targaryen. She grew up an orphan in exile, hearing stories of her illustrious ancestors from her brother, who of the two did absorb a bit of that culture, and is not coincidentally, fucked up, abusive, and misogynistic. He feels a sexual ownership over his sister, arranges a marriage for her, and even after her marriage, feels entitled to make decisions on her behalf. It is only after breaking away from Viserys that Dany comes into her own values. Having once been a mere object without agency of her own, she determines to save others from that fate and becomes an abolitionist. But because Game of Thrones gave viewers very little exposure to Targaryens aside from Daenerys, House Targaryen, in the eyes of most show watchers, is most closely associated with Dany and her freedom-fighter values. And as for Rhaenyra in House of the Dragon, being a female heir does not make her feminist or progressive, although it is tempting to view her that way when she is juxtaposed against Aegon II. Her "sexual liberation" was a lesson given to her by her uncle Daemon, a man who had an express interest in "liberating" her so that she would sleep with him, it was not a value she was raised with. In fact, she was very nearly disinherited for it, and was forced into a marriage with a gay man as a result of said "liberation." She had no interest in changing succession laws to allow absolute primogeniture, no interest in changing laws or norms around bastardy despite having bastards; she simply viewed herself as an exception. Rhaenyra's entire justification for her claim is not the desire to uplift women, bring peace and stability to Westeros, or even to keep her brother off the throne, it is simply that she believes she deserves it because her father is the king and he told her she could have it, despite all tradition and norms, and in spite of the near certain succession crisis it will cause. Whether she is right or wrong, absolutism is not progressive.

And let me just say, none of this means that you can't enjoy the Valyrians or think that they're fun or be a fan of house Targaryen. This insistence that Targaryens are the progressive, feminist (read: morally good) house seems by connected to the need of some fans to make their favorite characters unproblematic. If the Valyrians are "bad," does that make you a bad person for enjoying them? Of course not. But let's stop the moral grandstanding about the "feminist" and "progressive" Valyrians in a series that is an analogue for medieval feudalism. Neither of those things can exist under the systems in place in Westeros, nor could they have existed in the slavery based empire of conquest that was old Valyria.

[gunsatthaphan]

GMMTV 2025 trailer reviews

as usual and because I'm getting some asks, here are some initial thoughts on the trailers from today (in order of release, BL/GLs are marked with a 🏳️‍🌈, favorites with a 🌟):

Dare You to Death 🏳️‍🌈: Strong start!! I did not expect JoongDunk to make another comeback but I didn't expect that from any the other pairs either and yet here we are lol. This looks interesting, I'm digging the MOD vibes and I'm charmed by inspector!Dunk lol. I also like how the romance doesn't seem to be the main focus. I'm not always a murder mystery fan but if the script is good then I'm into it. and I am very intrigued by this! .

Head 2 Head 🏳️‍🌈: I was praying for a more interesting story for SeaKeen's second project and my prayers were heard. Trailers can be deceiving and I don't know how it will all turn out but this looks pretty good to me. New being the director is not something I would have guessed, it looks like he's branching out afterall. the Bad Buddy/rivalry vibes fit them better than the one-sided flirting in Only Boo imo and the future visions/foretelling trope intrigues me as well. I'm sad we're not getting RyuJava as the side couple as they both have different partners in this lineup but it's okay. This might be the first time where I'm certain that I will tune in for a New show lol. Well done! .

Burnout Syndrome 🏳️‍🌈🌟: FIRST HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT!!!!! This looks absolutely BOMB I'm so obsessed lmao. I followed my personal annual ritual of saying I don't want another OffGun show and then ending up being captivated by the trailer lmao. I don't wanna compare this to any of their previous shows though because for one Nuchy is the director which is amazing and also Dew is part of it lol? He is the last one I expected in a show like this, let alone a bl lol. He always kept his safe distance so this is a surprise lol. Him making his bl debut alongside OffGun is risky however, especially since his acting is not exactly oscar-worthy so I hope he works on that. But all in all this excites me a huge amount. also lowkey hoping they keep the soundtrack bc it's fire lol. Super hyped for this one!!!!! 🧡 .

I Love A Lot of You: This is one of the 2 lakorns in the bunch and I feel bad but it didn't intrigue me at all. The schizophrenic plot seems strange and I'm not feeling a spark between the characters. Good for Nanon for making his comeback though plus good for the 4EVE members for breaking into the acting business lol. .

Whale Store xoxo 🏳️‍🌈: This looks cute!!!!! I can already tell that Maewnam is a more likable character than Sun in 23.5 lol and I feel like this is a step-up for MilkLove, even if not a big one. The plot seems light and easy but I'm okay with that as long as it's not high school. I'm also excited to see June again, it's sad that ViewJune is over but Mewnich is an excellent addition imo. I loved her in Mission Fan-Possible so I'm pretty excited for this! .

Only Friends: Dream On 🏳️‍🌈: WELL WELL WELL. What do we have here 😭 The trailer was definitely overstimulating me lmao, I'm still not sure what exactly is going on, I had to watch it 5 times to even grasp anything. I remember Mix teasing Jojo at the end of Only Friends that he wants to be part of a sequel which was played off as a joke back then but boy did they fool us lmao. Never in a billion years would I have expected this to actually happen. I'm not a fan of second seasons, though I'm not sure if we can count this as such? It's more of a spinoff. Still something they have never done before so this is interesting. OhmLeng and JossGawin joining EarthMix is an interesting choice but very welcome. JossGawin getting a second gig before their first one even aired is giving big d*** energy lmao but good for them!!! I knew OhmLeng would get another show and my guess was that they'd be part of an ensemble so yay I was right lol. The plot - in old OF tradition - looks messy as hell and since Ninew is directing, I'm expecting a similar energy throughout the show. Not sure how I feel about Boston being there though. He was my least favorite in OF. But we shall see. I'm loving the Romeo + Juliet theme though which I'm 100% sure is Jojo's doing lol. What can I say. I'm ready for another messy clusterfuck. Bring it. .

That Summer 🏳️‍🌈: I'm happy to see that WinnySatang are getting their own show, about time!! I hope Winny works on his acting a little bit because I didn't love his performance in We Are. Satang is still out-acting him so I hope that changes. Satang being a prince is my favorite part of it all like Damn right he is lol. I love him. Ryu and Mond as the side cp is interesting and I'm always up for a good soft beach-lovestory. Also Jojo is behind it so obviously I will tune in. .

My Romance Scammer 🏳️‍🌈: Tbh I keep forgetting that Ohm Thitiwat is with Gmmtv since he hasn't really been participating in anything since he joined lol. But it's nice that he's debuting now and the fact that he's paired with yet another Fluke makes it so much better lmao. I like their energy together so this could be good. I'm not a big fan of JuniorMark, it looks a bit chaotic plus New is directing so I will be on guard lol but I'm putting it on my list nonetheless. .

Melody of Secrets 🏳️‍🌈: ForceBook are trying hard to break out of their previous roles and I appreciate that but unfortunately it's not working. at least not for me. I like them as people but as actors they have never struck a chord in me and never will. All their characters are the same to me. But people have different opinions. Good for them for trying out a different genre but the plot confuses me and I'm not hooked so I'm likely skipping this one. .

Love You Teacher 🏳️‍🌈: OY, we got a weird one on our hands lol. They had me in the first half of the trailer, PerthSanta have a decent chemistry and the teacher theme is cute. but then... Santa wakes up... as a....7 yr old???? lots of things not sitting right with me about this lol. Santa has a juvenile acting style which is not necessarily a bad thing but did they really have to take it that far lol. Not sure how this will turn out, it could go either way. I just wish they hadn't added the line "if he'll be a kid forever could you still love him even though you hate kids?" bc uhm... nah. idk I'm gonna tune in though and see how it goes. .

MU-TE-LUV (mixed): Yay this looks interesting!!!! I was hoping for another multi-plot show since they haven't done one of those in a while. And this has definitely sparked my interest. The stories are very different, I like the pairs, it's nice that OhmLeng and SeaKeen are part of it as well, plus the drag group looks like they're gonna be a lot of fun. Reminds me of the old gmmtv days. I'm in!!! .

Cat For Cash 🏳️‍🌈🌟: It took me a while to gather my thoughts for this and my initial reaction was what in the feverdream am I looking at, but after watching it a few times I see it a little differently. Anyone who follows FK knows they were never the ones to conform to the big crowds, they don't accept roles just for the heck of it; they move around in their little bubble and only do something if they're 100% behind it, no matter what genre. Which is why I trust them with any project they do, as with this one. They have expressed that they wanted to move away from the heavier plots in the future, which doesn't mean they were forced into anything, but a project like this feels like they get to relax a little after being on the grind for the last 2 years lol. They said they wanted to do something silly and fun and now they get it. It's small and lighthearted with an admittedly very silly plot and yes it might flop but to hell with it. They seem excited about it and that's all I care about. They got the show they wanted so I consider every part about this a win ✌🏻 .

Girl Rules 🏳️‍🌈🌟: ON MY KNEES for this one ohmygod 😭 I can't believe Jojo finally gets to do his messy GL that hes been talking about for so long lol and the cast is absolutely DIVINE. Not only did I not expect NamtanFilm to get another gig right away but I did not expect MilkLove to go raunchy so fast lmao. But ohmygod I'm SO seated. We got the mix & match in the good ol' Jojo fashion and everything that comes with it. Everything about this is up my alley. Sign me up. .

Boys In Love 🏳️‍🌈: This seems basic but it's nice to see some new faces. Mick finally gets to debut, plus I'm pleased that I was right about ChokunAston lol. PoddPapang were not hiding anything so they didn't come as a surprise, still I wish we had gotten them as mains. I'll still take it though. Considering that this is the annual newbie-show, it doesn't look too bad. I'll tune in. .

My Magic Prophecy 🏳️‍🌈: This is a big surprise for me, not because of the plot but because of JimmySea lol. After Jimmy said he will go abroad next year and he doesn't know if he will have projects etc., I took that as a confirmation for no JS series in 2025. Now I don't know if this will actually air in 2025 or if it will be pushed into 2026 but yeah I did not see this coming at all. JimmySea going back to their fantasy roots with this one, Sea is continuing his theme of seeing things he's not supposed to lol, I just hope it won't be too similar to Last Twilight. Not plot-wise but acting- and character-wise. Sea's acting is always excellent but Jimmy's characters all blend together as his acting stagnates a bit. But it's too soon to tell. It's going on my watchlist! .

A Dog And A Plane 🏳️‍🌈🌟: Speaking of surprises, this is another one lmao. Like how are we getting the third TayNew series in a row?? Insane. I usually expect the worst so I thought of Peaceful Property as their last joint project for a while. But apparently they never thought of quitting and it looks like I'm getting another comfort show �� I have a ton of respect for them as actors, I was so impressed by their performances in Cherry Magic and Peaceful Property so ofc I'm super excited about this one. Newie as a flight attendant dating the plane Captain and Tay as a paramedic? They did that just for me. I love it. I also can't wait to see MarcPoon again!! Finally they're getting different roles. Plus it is yet another Jojo project so we're in good hands. .

Me And Thee 🏳️‍🌈: We're continuing the theme of "I never thought this couple would get another show together" but that's what the whole point of "riding the wave" seems to be about. But anyway. PondPhuwin usually go for whatever the fans want so I'm sure this will blow up just the right way. The story seems fun, though I'm a bit fed up of the mafia theme. But for now it's just a trailer. I might tune in. .

WU: I'm very confused by this, the trailer gave us no information, all I know is SkyNani are still going strong in the bromance/borderline bl department so good for them I guess lol. I can't really say anything else about this since we don't know much and haven't seen much except for some long stares and another red thread reference. I'm not saying everything should be bl but HSF is already queerbaiting and it looks like this one will follow that lead so I'm not too thrilled about it. No idea what this bromance-hype is all about, I really don't get it. but oh well. .

Memoir of Rati 🏳️‍🌈: This one has really nice visuals and an interesting plot, my only concern is GreatInn as Wandee was a disaster but I want to believe that was due to the bad script. I think they could redeem themselves with this. The genre, characters and costumes seem very fitting for them and AouBoom are also a nice addition. I was expecting them to get their own show but so be it. It is also Gmmtv's first period BL which is exciting. And it looks so pretty!! The French irritates me a bit but whatever lol. It's going on my list. .

Ticket To Heaven 🏳️‍🌈🌟: We have arrived at the last highlight of the night and my goodness. What a treasure they kept for the end. I can't remember the last time I was this captivated by a trailer, I felt this in ever fiber of my body. The visuals are outstanding and the production of the trailer alone is insane. I don't want to say anything wrong but the theme of Catholicism in association with guilt, faith and sexuality in particular is not something I would have ever associated with Gmmtv. I have seen mostly Western productions like Skam tackle stories about spirituality and sexuality and unorthodox bl productions tackle themes of sexual awakening and self doubt so I consider undertaking this kind of narrative in the mainstream Thai media environment as quite bold. Not that these issues are any less real there but it's uncommon, and translating them into cinematic context adds an extra layer of intricacies. So this is a risky production but this trailer gave me full-body chills so I'm very much looking forward to it. GemFourth are not my favorite actors sadly but if they get this right, they could easily redeem themselves. This is a clear highlight for me. .

Conclusion: This lineup has been full of surprises but in the best way possible. When they announced "Riding The Wave" as the tagline for the event and after Tha gave the speech about the company's ambition to go for what's popular, I was worried that the quantity would once again drown out the quality. And I know these are just trailers and we have made the experience that even the best trailer can have the most frustrating outcome but to me today's announcements all look very promising. I liked some more than others but objectively speaking, if they put the same effort into the actual productions as they did with those trailers, then we're in for one hell of a year lol. I'm keeping a positive mindset about everything, I'm thrilled about most announcements, my personal highlights for now are Burnout Syndrome, Cat For Cash, Girl Rules, A Dog And A Plane and Ticket To Heaven. This is the first lineup that has almost no lakorns as 18 of 20 productions are lgbt-themed. Almost all fixed couples are coming back with the addition of a few new ones which I like. And we got a few unexpected combinations which I am always a big fan of lol. Personally I can see the ambition and aspiration in everything and I am eager to see what they make of it. I'm expecting about half of these shows to be pushed into 2026 and since they usually air the shows in the same order they announced them in, that will most likely be the second half of the lineup.

If anyone read this far, thank you and sorry for rambling, I just wanted to put my thoughts out lol. let me know your thoughts if you want!

xxx

[the-au-collector]

Fell into a rabbit hole of rewatching Age of Calamity cutscenes (since I don't have the game) and

this game is so needlessly dramatic

"it whaaaat" - Revali

Robbie is an icon and there needs to be more of him

the DLC memory scenes are the best cutscenes in the game

Terrako singing ballad of the goddess 😭😭😭

Baby Zelda is so cute

Terrako is OP

I love how the entire game starts all dramatic and then there's just E G G

Also the opening credits of the game imply that the tapestry is about the Calamity where BOTW Link failed??? Either that or Terrako existed at the same time as the OG Calamity which works for me!

Terrako is the main character prove me wrong

Baby Sidon is too pure for this world

I like how Zelda narrates the game. You could almost see it like she's narrating it to her kids or something and I think that's really cute

Sidon's adult voice actor is so over-the-top lolll

I love Daruk so much

"None of this makes any sense" No Daruk it does not

I love Riju's voice actor

I love how Patricia gets her own name tag too

This game varies between incredibly dark to incredibly funny/corny and I love it

Astor my beloved your laugh is terrifying

Khoga is an icon too "you're my best lackey!!!"

Mipha is so tinyyyy

Urbosa is such a mom I love her so much

Hell yeah Vah Ruta flood Hyrule Field!!!

We need more evil magicians in Legend of Zelda. They're all so iconic

Rhoam is actually pretty likeable at the end of the game ngl

Baby Sidon is so so so tinyyyyyy 😭😭😭😭😭

Yunobo's eyes are so funny

Tulin is a sweetheart and not even Revali can escape his cuteness

Khoga's hair is so hard he can't put the thunder helm on oh oy goddd that's hilarious 😂😂😂

Urbosa, Rhoam, and Zelda's mom had to have been a threesome

I didn't need Khoga to be such a dad but here he is... best dad for the best lackey

Astor has followers??? Like he's a cult leader??? *stores that information away for later* Well to be fair they kinda died in the only scene they were in lol

I can tell Robbie's voice actor had a blast doing this

Also this game lowkey reads like a Kingdom Hearts game lol So much random, corny goodness is here and I love it

[radiojamming]

Prompting you for anything with Tartnell

hi i'm DJ and i and i want to write all the missing scenes i wanted to see in the terror.

---

In a memory with no date, they are children. It is a honey-gold day with sunlight playing on the river, a wood-warm scent in the air from the fences around the orchards. John carries Tom on his back down the road from the Burnt Elm farm, the corner of John's mouth still stained purple from the blackberries they picked out of the hedgerow. Tom's fingers are dyed the same shade, and their mother will surely have a few words to say about the stains on their clothes.

But for now, Tom is full, warm, and happy. There is sweetness in his mouth and the sun on his back, his brother to his front, the sound of magpies chattering in the trees around him.

John hums a tune. He's not a particularly good singer, but Tom likes to listen to him anyway. It's a shanty—one that they've heard at the Dockyard when they run down to see their father and walk home with him. Tom thinks it's about ladies; most of those songs are. He tries to hum along, but the sway of John's gait makes him too sleepy to try.

Instead, he yawns and asks, "Can we do this again tomorrow?"

"Sure," John replies, hefting Tom up a little further up his back. "We ought to bring a basket, though. To take some home."

Tom nods and turns his head so his cheek is pressed against his brother's back. He watches the Danbury farm slowly give way to the Simon orchard, and he counts the rows of trees until he gets to the one that was hit by lightning last summer. Eventually, he closes his eyes.

There's not much meaning to this memory. No lessons learned, no part of Tom's life altered. What's important is that John is there—a child, thin, tall for his age, keeping Tom close and safe. Walking so Tom doesn't have to.

No. This memory means everything.

---

They fight only once. Truly fighting; not just the general struggle of being brothers with only two years' difference between them.

Tom doesn't recall his exact words. All he knows is that he's angry. Angry that John keeps himself cloistered in the same job that's slowly killing him, that he exhausts himself day after day to make ends meet without a care for himself, that Tom's certain he'll come home on leave only to find John's headstone beside their father's in the churchyard.

(He's scared; not angry. But it's so much easier to mask it as anger than to ever admit he's frightened.)

But Tom's words are coarse, scoured over with years on the Volage and deckled on the edges with every gunshot or dying wail of a comrade in his ears. He curses in a way their mother would scold him for, but he can't take the words back even as he sees John go milk-pale at the sound.

He remembers only one sentence. The only one that matters.

"You're so selfish," he snarls.

(It's not true. It's never been true. John doesn't know how to be selfish. His life has always been attached to someone else, for someone else's benefit. His mother's, his brothers', his sisters', Mister Sarge's, Jane's. Selfish people don't lose sleep like John has, don't wince when they move their hands the way he does.

But all the other words Tom wants to say don't come out. They change shape, consonants, vowels. They turn into something awful.)

He sees the whites of John's eyes, and as soon as his brother takes one step forward, straightens himself out of his perpetual slouch, Tom remembers how much taller John is.

"Shut your mouth, Thomas," John says. His voice has always been low, a little scratchy like he's in need of clearing his throat.

And never—never has he used Tom's full name.

John takes another step forward.

(Where they are, Tom can't remember. There's a wall of a building. Home? Church? The Inn?)

And another.

(He remembers John's shirt, stained at the wrists. Shoemaker's black.)

And then John's hands are on Tom's shoulders, and he shoves. Tom reels back, catches himself before he can hit the ground. He knows he should step back and apologise. He knows there's so much more he could do or say that could fix this. But he's a sailor, and there's this awful crashing noise in his head that he simply can't quiet. He balls his fists and before he can think clearly, he swings.

At his fucking brother.

(He remembers crying into John's shirt at their father's grave.)

He has to aim up because John's so much taller.

(Remembers John standing under the lychgate into St. Mary Magdalene's, fist pressed to his mouth, biting his knuckles so he wouldn't cry.)

His fist connects with John's upper lip and nose, causing his brother's head to snap back. Something crunches under Tom's knuckles, and his stomach twists in a fierce knot at the feeling. He sees blood—orchard fruit bright red—on his hand when he draws it back.

(Remembers John in bed, gasping with breath that simply wouldn't come. A bloodstained handkerchief clenched in his fist. Their mother weeping as she watched their father dying of the same affliction.)

John doesn't make a sound. No yelp of agony, or gasp, or curse. Just silence. Agonising silence that makes a minute into an hour. Tom only sees him stagger a little, blood pouring freely out of his nose and onto his mouth, his shirt collar.

(Their mother scrubbing blood out of his shirt.)

It drips onto the ground. Slow. Raindrop-heavy.

(The bed linens on the line. A blossom of blood visible, drying in the breeze.)

He says nothing. Instead, he raises his head and sniffs once. Hazel eyes in skull-deep sockets. Exhaustion bows his back again as he nods.

"Alright, Thomas," he says. Another sniff. "Alright."

And he walks away.

(Where does he go? Where does this happen? Tom wishes he knew, wishes he would have run after him and begged his forgiveness. They never fight again after this, but Tom can't shake the memory of his brother's blood on his hands.)

---

They join up together. It's easier this way—two incomes flowing into their house, right when Charlie's on the cusp of joining up as well.

"I can help," says Strickland. He bounces on the balls of his feet as John signs his name in the allotment book. "Mum says she doesn't need the full amount or nothin', but I think Aunt Sarah would like it."

"No," says John, mostly to the book and to Mister Helpman who's watching the whole family scene with amusement. "Good Lord, Stricks. Why would we make you do that?"

"You're not makin' me do nothin', Harts," Strickland retorts. "I'm contemplatin' doin' a kindness, you joyless thing."

Tom doesn't have to see his brother's face to know he's rolling his eyes.

"Well, tell your mum so," John replies, then steps back and gestures to Tom just as Mister Helpman turns to a fresh page. "You're next, Tommy."

Tom walks up to the book and tells Mister Helpman all the details he needs to know. Where his pay goes, to whom, what's the relation, where does he hail from. He watches Helpman's quick hand neatly record every word.

"Sign here, sir," Helpman says.

Behind Tom, Strickland grunts in a way that suggests John has him in another headlock—his favourite method of subduing anyone. "Lemme go, you big oaf!"

"Come now, Mister Strickland," John says primly. "Is this any way for a member of Her Majesty's Navy to behave?"

"I'll show you Her Majesty!"

"That doesn't make sense. Actually, that sounds right obscene." John pauses, just as Tom finishes signing his name. "I'm just sorry, Mister Helpman. He's usually a good boy."

Helpman stifles a laugh and shakes his head. "Well, you lot will surely keep the ship entertained. Now, please release Mister Strickland so he can give me his details."

"You heard the gentleman, Stricks," John says, releasing Strickland who darts forward, sand-brown hair a mess. "Do we need to remind you how to spell your name again?"

Strickland gives him a very unkind gesture behind his back where Helpman can't see.

Tom returns to John's side and grins at his brother. People often comment how they look nothing alike, save for their smile. John gives him a perfect reflection of it now—playful, tilted up at the left corner, eyes squinting in happiness.

"You gonna behave yourself on this trip?" he asks John.

"Of course," John replies. "I have to be the responsible older brother, don't I?"

They laugh.

As if John's been anything else.

---

John starts to get sick in November.

It comes on slow. Coughs stifled in his fist or elbow. A wheeze he can pass off as simply poor lungs struggling in tight quarters with far too much pipe smoke in the air. Begging off early for bed even when they're deep in a game or a book.

Then he falls off a ladder, and Tom knows something's wrong.

John's never been particularly graceful. Uncle Hoar used to compare him to a colt that wasn't quite sure of its own legs. But in the rigging, he's a different creature entirely. It's as though he's waited his whole life to get off the ground, to see the world from some place higher than the world he'd been relegated to. His grip is always sure and steady, his footing secure. Only a few years in the Navy and he's done well by himself.

But it's the ladder—the damn ladder that does it. Just the one to maintain the lamps on deck. Only a few rungs. A few steps. It's not so very far to fall.

(It is. It's only ice and hard wood under his back when he lands. He's in so much pain by the time Tom, Sullivan, Tadman, and two Marines on duty get to him that he can't speak.)

He recovers for a few days in the sick bay until he can stand without wobbling on a weak ankle again. Doctor Stanley gives him some concoction and a few terse instructions. Mister Goodsir diligently follows up a few minutes later to advise on the dosage and how much rest John should get.

John improves.

And then he doesn't.

December comes in with a howling gale that sings in the lines holding the tent to the deck. And it comes with an awful sound rattling up from John's lungs.

It comes with blood on a handkerchief.

(Scrubbing it out of a shirt.)

---

"They say one of the stokers on Terror's got it, too," Tadman tells Tom in confidence. "He's barely conscious."

Tom stares down hard at the floor.

"You don't think he's been sick all this time?" Tadman asks.

Tom's quick to say, "He hasn't. He'd have been sent back by now."

Outside, on the stony shore of Beechey, two men sent by the captains of both ships make note of a particularly flat spot of land. Good for graves, they say.

"He'll make it through," Tom says.

---

In the doorway, Tom watches as Mister Weekes makes measurements of John. His height, the width of his shoulders, the width of his knees side-by-side. As he does, John sleeps fitfully, a pinch between his brows and sweat beading his top lip.

Weekes doesn't know Tom's there. He finishes his work, penning some numbers down in a little pocketbook. Then, he turns and sees Tom at last. His eyes go wide.

"Ah," he says. "Mister Hartnell."

Tom doesn't reply. Anything polite is caught in his throat. He only nods.

Weekes seems sheepish, apologetic. He fights for his words, but in the end only says, "A good evening to you," before walking by Tom.

Tom silently walks to John's side, looking his brother over now with new eyes. His height (for the coffin's length), his shoulders (for its width), his knees (tied together). But his eyes move restlessly under their lids, his cheeks are flushed, his fingers twitching as he dreams.

Then, he jerks away. He gasps, sputters, coughs. His glassy eyes cast about the sickbay until they catch on Tom's image, and immediately he settles.

"Tom," he croaks. Even sick as he is, he manages to smile. "S'dreamin' of 'alifax."

Tom forces a smile and pulls up his usual chair. He hasn't slept in two days, afraid of sleeping through what now seems inevitable. "Were you now?" he replies.

"Mm."

"Which part?"

John closes his eyes and grins. "You much for guessin'?"

"If it's what I think, then I'd rather not."

"Hah." He coughs out a laugh, and Tom tries his damnedest to ignore the rim of red on his bottom lip. "No. I was dreamin' about 'olystoning a bloody deck."

"You were dreaming about work?" Tom asks incredulously.

"Right?" John cracks an eye open. "I'm dyin' in a sickbay and that's what I dream about. S'awful."

Tom goes quiet then. John's never said anything about dying before. Up until now, it's been quiet reassurances that he'll make it through this again. As a veteran consumptive, he knows all the right strategies. He's made jokes about it.

John looks at him, his expression hard to read. If anything, he seems to try to read Tom's, searching his face for something. He clears his throat and looks away. "They plannin' anything for Christmas out there?" he asks.

It takes too long for Tom to comfortably respond. Eventually, "Yeah. Full-on feast or the like." He cringes, but manages to wrangle it into a weak smile. "Don't suppose there's a Goldner's Christmas Meal in one of those cans, d'you think?"

John laughs again, and it crackles in his throat. "I'd love to see it if there was."

"You will," Tom says. Maybe a bit too fiercely, too defensively. It takes him by surprise as much as it seems to take his brother. But he reiterates it, "You will."

"Sure, Tommy," John says. He nods, and a single drop of blood drips out of the corner of his mouth. He doesn't seem to notice. "I will."

---

By Christmas Eve, Mister Goodsir kindly tells Tom and Strickland that John's not doing well. It's soft sympathy, meant to cushion a blow that Tom's felt continually since November.

"He's not taken much by way of meals," Goodsir says. He fidgets with the cuffs of his shirt, apparently eager to do something with his hands. "I've managed with a little broth and some medicine, but he's gotten... Well, he doesn't seem particularly pleased with it."

He's gotten combative, Tom thinks. He's seen John's reactions lately, the way he strikes out at nothing, snarling at the ceiling like something there personally offends him. Tom can only imagine John trying to hit Goodsir as the man feeds him, like a temperamental, colicky child.

Strickland's hat is in his hands, and he's squeezing it so hard that Tom worries he'll crush it.

Goodsir goes on, saying they'll keep him comfortable, try to keep him fed, medicate him as needed.

Never once does he say John will get better.

---

They bury the stoker on New Year's. Tom doesn't see it—no one sees much of anything from the ships, as dark as it is. But he hears about it from Billy Orren.

That's how he learns about the open grave right next to the stoker's.

---

Tom sews a pillowcase. His hands are quick at this sort of work, learned from years of watching his mother and sisters, his aunts and cousins. He's always had a knack for sewing and mending, which is why some of the men on Erebus come to him for repairs. John was always—

John is good at it, too. Shoemaking and all.

He uses his fingertips to crimp the frills around the edges of the pillow, sewing them firmly into place. He's already got some cast-off rags and such to stuff it with, provided by some of the other Chatham boys who felt they needed to contribute somehow.

They've all been to see John—anyone who knew him in any capacity. Any man who didn't know him directly but who hailed from Kent and felt they needed to see their man off properly. Mister Armitage came the night before, offering his quiet condolences to a fellow St. Mary Magdalene congregant.

They paid their respects.

Tom swallows hard, blinks harder, and keeps sewing.

Then he pricks his finger with the needle, hissing at the contact. It stings, and he immediately sticks the tip of it in his mouth until he tastes copper. It seems to spread in his mouth, at the same time he notices the pin-sized droplet of blood on the pillow.

He stares at it for a long while as the bow of Erebus creaks and groans around him, as the sound of men enjoying the New Year carries down to his ears, as blood spreads across his tongue.

---

He doesn't want to remember this.

The high pitch in his ears, drowning out the ship, the Arctic, the world. His heart rampaging in his chest, throttling itself against his ribs like a prisoner. Tears ember-hot in his eyes.

No.

No, he doesn't want to remember this.

(He remembers it in sections now.)

The grief—

(John, still. Cold. Bloodless.)

Good God, the grief—

(Hands cold in Tom's. Unmoving. Callouses on his index fingers and thumbs from all those years of work.)

The way he cries out to nothing, to no one—

(Lips still, but slightly open. The barest shine of his teeth. Like he got caught on his last breath and forgot to shut his mouth after.)

The way his knees hit the floor—

(The blankets are damp with the sweat of a dead man.)

The way his whole body shudders, wracked with an animal noise—

(He can't look at his brother's face.)

And his forehead in his hands, like he's trying to hold himself together—

(Or the blood on his clothes.)

---

Tom shaves John's face. Orren trims his hair. Strickland cuts his fingernails. They wash him down, quietly trying to find something to joke about.

"God, remember when we were in Plymouth together?" Strickland says. His voice wobbles as though he's caught on a laugh and a sob. "That whole time he was trying to get Betsy off the breakwall. Like watchin' someone try to get a cat out of a tree."

Orren snorts and trims a piece of hair from behind John's left ear. "I heard about that," he replies. "The same time he fell in the water, yeah?"

"Absolutely," Strickland says.

"I'd have paid good money to see it," Orren goes on, brushing the hair off John's gansey. "This poor scrump absolutely soaked like a drowned rat."

It's easy to disguise a sniff as a laugh. "He's hardly a scrump, mate," Tom says.

"Eh, it kept him humble to say so."

They keep working in silence. Tom carefully shaves away the last of John's dark red stubble, the only part of him other than a smile that he shared with his brothers. He's clean-shaven save for some whiskers on his chin that he would no doubt be damned to see off.

Quietly, Strickland says, "I think he looks right proper, eh?"

Orren agrees. "Hardly a sailor no more. Looks more a'like one of those ponces in the high parish."

Tom silently agrees. Something about seeing John like this—shaven, trimmed up, relaxed—it almost doesn't look like him. For a moment, Tom thinks of what his brother would have been like if he'd been born anywhere else, to anyone else. If he'd just had more of a chance to be a child, to have a job he didn't hate and only find one he loved when it was far too late.

He hears Strickland sniffle beside him, and he wonders what he must be thinking. Of all their cousins, Strickland looked up to John the most. Proud to share a name with him, to sign his name alongside his, eager to follow him anywhere.

And now this.

Tom clears his throat. "He's to be buried in the morning," he says. "Sir John wants to say a few things then an' have a proper service."

"Feels wrong to just leave him tonight, though," Strickland replies quietly. "Should one of us stay?"

"No," says Tom. "I need— We need the rest, I think."

"Right," says Strickland at the same time Orren says, "Of course."

---

Fucking Christ, he doesn't want to remember this.

He sees his brother's chest open, blood bright on Goodsir's hands. He sees—

A heart.

His brother's heart.

Gore has to hold him back—

(Graham Gore, handsome and proud and practically glowing on the deck of the Volage. "You're a good man, Mister Hartnell," he'd once said.)

Restraining him by the chest, pinning his arms behind his back. Someone's hands are on Tom's shoulder, and someone else is yelling in his ear.

He feels delirious with it. The sight of Goodsir holding his brother's innards in his hands like he's simply been playing about in his chest. Oh, look what I've found, he imagines Goodsir saying. A liver. Ought we check if he drank overmuch?

Rage now.

(Not fear.)

Pure, bloody fucking rage.

(What could he be afraid of?)

He gnashes his teeth and wails. He snarls. He begs. He tries everything he can just short of clawing his way past all the men holding him back to shove the doctors and surgeons away and let his brother fucking be.

("They say men don't go to heaven if parts of them are amiss.")

Then he's on the floor, half-compressed under Gore's weight as he bodily holds him in place. "Hartnell, I know. I know," Gore says into his ear.

(Which Hartnell? he wants to snarl.)

"It has to be done. You know it does."

The person behind him hauls him back by the shoulders, and only then does Tom see that it's Armitage, his own eyes wide and face sickly-pale. He doesn't say a word to Tom, but Tom knows he's just as appalled. Only he's trying to keep Tom from getting a lashing or worse for acting out like this.

Tom moans in agony, the weight of this crushing him. He's steered away, the last sight of his brother open on the table like he's nothing more than a specimen to be studied.

Blood on the fucking linens.

---

Tom feels nothing on the day they bury John.

He's spent too much of himself. He feels like a candle guttering on its last supply of wax. Just smoke and air, now.

All he thinks to do is help cover John up a little more. His shirt, monogrammed, dated, wrapped around John like it'll keep him warm in the grave. That maybe something will change if he carries Tom's name on him to wherever it is he goes.

("They say men don't go to heaven—")

He doesn't hear Sir John's service, or the words of sympathy the officers give to Tom. He hears them say how John was a good man, and Tom wonders how they could possibly know that. How could men who scarcely leave their comfortable bedrooms and wardroom, who grew up in gilded halls with servants and cooks who made them wholesome meals that no one had to share—how could they know?

That's uncharitable. They're being kind.

But they don't know how this feels. The sensation of a heavy stone in his hand that he has to throw onto the navy-blue coffin lid, listening to the sharp tock as it makes contact, resounding in the half-filled hollow below.

He hopes to God they never have to bury one of their own.

---

Much happens after. Too much, too quickly. The world ends. A gun goes off.

Nothing happens at all. Not in this part of the world.

---

"Go be with your brother now."

---

John is carrying him back up the knoll. The air is summer-sweet, birds singing in the morning air. It rained last night, and John leaps over puddles while Tom shrieks in laughter.

They get to the hedgerow, still dripping with rain. John carefully lets Tom down and hands him the basket. "Remember to mind your fingers, Tommy," he tells him.

Tom eats more berries than he stores away. They stain his mouth and fingers again, and when he looks at his big brother, he giggles at the sight of berry stains on his face as well. They laugh together, their smiles identical.

When the basket is half-full, John pats Tom on the shoulder and motions for him to hop up on his back again. "Let's go home," he says.

[beenania]

Little rant incoming

I just don't understand what qstudios is doing right now. Like this entire time I've tried to remain hopeful because it seemed like we were moving in the right direction. The baker bunny and the whole ghostberry thing really made it seem like they were about to bring the admins back in, or were at least close to figuring something out. But instead the few eggs that did wake up got to stay for like a week before they're leaving too. Pepito is probably gonna be going today as well, maybe leo too. What was the point of it all then? Why bring some of the eggs back? Why make it seem like you were about to have an entire arc of the eggs waking back up? I just don't get it. Not to mention the egg figurines. Releasing that merch when we still have no idea where the money from sales is going to. if it's not to pay the previous admins and it's not to keep the ones who were still on the project, then what is it? Is it really just to keep this hollow shell afloat? Why? Almost no one plays on it aymore, and multiple cc's have stated that they will not play on it until the admins are payed and allowed to return to the server. Shouldn't that, then, be the top priority? The qsmp is basically "The egg server" and now you're getting rid of the eggs. all the cc's who have been bonding with these admins for the past year have lost all motivation to play. The servers reputation is down the drain. Do you really think you can just...start over? I was around during the dsmp days, I've seen this all before. It didn't work. Wouldn't it be better to let the server end gracefully rather than this slow decay? Pay the admins and let everyone say their goodbyes? The qsmp accomplished its goal, it broke language barriers and brought people together who would have otherwise never met. Why taint that?

[mermaidchan05]

Vesuvia Weekly: Modern Date Nights

More bullet point headcanons! This time we get some date nights with my Apprentices and their love interests, modern-day style!

Nadia, Portia, and Chimalus: Movie Night

Or, more specifically, nostalgic movie night, as decided by Portia

Neither Nadia nor Chimalus exactly had ordinary childhoods. 

(Both for somewhat different reasons) 

They’re both aware of a lot of the movies that were popular when they grew up, and other “childhood” things, but they didn’t really get a chance to experience them. 

Portia, on the other hand, knows all the “kid’s stuff,” and unironically loves a lot of it. 

So she’s made it her mission to introduce her two loves to everything she can. 

It’s tough with Nadia’s very packed schedule, but Portia is an expert at finding time for important things. 

And as far as she’s concerned, this is of the utmost importance.

So the trio sets aside one weekend every month at lest to snuggle on the couch, make the coziest snack foods, and binge as many "children's movies" as they possibly can. 

Portia not only knows what all the best streaming platforms are, but also knows exactly how to get bargain-bin price DVDs and Blu Rays of the best movies. 

The trio has gone through almost the entire Disney catalog by now. And most of the Pixar movies. 

Portia, of course, has thrown in a few other classics.

Everyone was crying over The Last Unicorn. 

And heaven help them once they discover Bluey. 

Nadia sometimes isn’t the best person to watch movies with. Her analytical mind picks them apart and predicts twists.

But Portia’s seen everything she shows them, so she doesn’t really mind

And she giggles whenever Nadia gets something wrong... with extra giggles when Nadia actually predicts the story correctly. 

Also, Chimalus is able to mellow Nadia out a bit. Chimalus is an artist, so when they’re watching anything animated, they love pointing out all the little details that help make movies something you feel more than think about. 

Every single one of these date nights has ended in all three of them passed out on the couch in a snuggly tangle. 

(Side note: Nadia has an in-home movie theater and you cannot convince me otherwise. Yes, they could absolutely hold Nostalgic Movie Night there. No, they do not. They always opt for Portia’s Super Comfy Couch TM) 

Asra and Meleia: Convention Weekends

Two words: Couple cosplays. 

Asra is an artist. And they are an absolute aficionado of the most obscure games and movies and anime series you have ever heard of. 

Meleia loves sewing, and she’s a giant kid at heart. 

And since they both love collecting cute little trinkets, conventions are their jam. 

The two of them will absolutely spend way too much time planning out The Perfect Outfits. 

And yes, if it’s a longer convention, they will have a cosplay for every single day. 

Sometimes multiple per day. 

They're also both very good at taking care of each other.

Whenever Meleia has a more in-depth costume, like something with a ton of layers or a huge full skirt or a very intricate wig, Asra is the best hype person/cosplay care person. 

He’s got the full Mom Bag of anything that Meleia might need at any given moment, be it a little electric fan or a drink with all kinds of electrolytes or a makeup patch job or a wig brush or sewing supplies for an actual patch job. 

And Asra’s an expert at finding a cool and quiet spot to just sit back and recharge. 

The only two things Meleia really needs to be careful of when it comes to watching over Asra is making sure he doesn’t spend the entire shopping budget in one place, and that she doesn’t lose him when he finds a little corner to nap in. 

(Is Asra supposed to be napping in that corner? Up for debate) 

But in the end, the two of them have a wonderful time wandering around in their fun outfits and buying all the things and doing the silly arcade games that can only be found at conventions. 

They will pass out in the hotel afterwards. And Asra will sleep for almost a day straight once they get home. 

But it’s always worth it. 

Julian and Damian: Musical Magic

Julian and Damian have a lot of interests in common, but they truly bonded over their shared love of music. 

And we all know Julian adores drama. 

So a date night between Julian and Damian sometimes boils down to “which Broadway show can we get a ticket for this weekend?” 

The road trip to the theater is part of the date, too. 

These two can and will do an entire two-man production of Hadestown while en route to the theater and you cannot convince me otherwise. 

And when it isn’t Broadway Night, any kind of date is almost guaranteed to have some kind of music. 

A trip to their favorite coffee shop which showcases local bands, karaoke night (either at home or out at a specific spot, each with varying degrees of drinks), or, of course, the classic “going out dancing” 

Honestly, there’s just a lot of dancing involved, even if the two of them didn’t plan it. 

And when in doubt, nothing beats a gentle evening alone, where they make their own music. 

Damian takes out his guitar. Julian takes out his violin. 

And the two of them just let the music speak for them. 

[electrikworm]

I remembered that I like Aerobics :)

Taglist:

@yeehawgeek

Ref. Images under the cut:

Left is Jane Fonda and middle is Kathy Lee Crosby. I couldn't find out who the three women in the right image are, but as far as I could tell, the photo was taken by Dennis Hallinan.

[candycatstuffs]

Hello, I hope you don't mind me asking (and sorry if you've answered this before), but how did you get that 80's anime art effect on your summer Amy and Rouge? Did you use any specific brushes or textures? They both look so amazing!

I dont mind at all! I got the gist of it from this video, but I'll show exactly how I did it under the cut! And thank ya <333

First off, here's the base flats and lineart, no effects or anything

To start the effect, I added a multiply layer at 35% with a soft yellow color as a clipping layer over the flat color layers

Next, I shaded it on a normal layer so I could pick all the shading colors myself and added lighting with a light yellow color on a 30% add layer. You can choose the shading/lighting colors yourself or use layer effects like multiply or add, its just personal preference!

An extra detail I added was changing the layer effect on the shading layer from nothing to a 3px watercolor edge, that gives the shading the neat lines on the edges. I think this is a firealpaca specific setting tho

Next, I added a 35% static overlay on top of all the color layers to give the picture its texture. Some programs have noise filters built in, but I like to just google static overlay and copy paste it in lol

The next step is to copy and paste the lineart, drag it underneath the crisp lineart, and apply a gaussian blur filter to it at about 3-4. You also might wanna tone down the opacity

Then I put ALL the layers into a folder, and put a 15% opacity normal layer over it with a bright yellow to warm it up to make it give it more summery vibes, but also to reduce the contrast between the lineart and colors. I think that rly helps give it the retro anime vibes

Last step! Save the image as a png or make a folder containing all the layers and apply a chromatic abberation filter to it

And thats everything!

[miru667]

Hi again, Miru! I need your opinion on something as an old onceling. Do you think there's still room for new oncelings to do an analysis of something in the movie, or maybe interviews, or maybe the fandom itself? Is it possible to find a way to output new content? I look through archives and it honestly feels like the entire movie has already been picked apart way back in 2012 - 2014. Your thoughts?

As we are all unique individuals who have gone through different experiences in our lives and no experience is the same, yes there can always be some new perspective that someone can bestow through their watch of the movie.

For example, in 2020, 8 years after the fandom began, @floooopafloooopa made several analyses on aspects of the movie that I personally had never seen anyone else delve into, and I was really impressed by them. My favourites include the one comparing Once-ler and Thneedville to Disney and EPCOT: [link] and of course the 85 page analysis comparing Once-ler to the Beatles and other popular people and aesthetics of the 60s and 70s: [link]

And another example, just recently I happened to revisit The Conservative Lorax video on YouTube from 2012: [link] and although I know many youtube comments are the most worthless comments in the world, I still found some interesting perspectives from people in the comments even in the past year, talking about capitalism. Here's a topic that really stayed with me: One person said "a real capitalist would replant to make a profit" and another said "a true capitalist would farm the trees instead of cutting them all down" to which others replied:

These comments were all made only within the last 3 years. I doubt these people have even seen the 2012 movie.

So now if you take these ideas and think about our dear Oncie...yes, he is still a dumbass for not thinking about maintaining his resources and then being shocked that he ran out of trees, but there are evidently people out there who would've instead called him dumb for not planning to immediately move on to capitalize on the next big thing, like air. Some people would've agreed that short term profits are the smart move! This, or the Once-ler should've moved on to synthetic fibres to replicate Thneeds, or that he should've planted GMO trees that grew really fast, patent them, then also patent the air they produce (and then we wouldn't need O'hare anymore). But we all know what genetically modifying truffula trees can cause... 🧟 haha. So the 1st comment up there has a point - the story really is more of a metaphor for respecting nature rather than trying to say something specific about business decisions.

And look! I just gathered and put together a mini analysis on the subject of "sustaining your resources vs how far the Once-ler actually could have gone in the other direction". In 2023! So yes, I believe there's room for more analyses.

Not to mention that concept art for the 2012 movie keeps gradually being shared over the years well beyond 2014: [link] I pretty much consider it new source content which can then spark new analyses, as well.

As for anaylses on the fandom itself...I would just advise to be careful and respectful if you're wanting to talk about anything from the past that you weren't a part of (having been in the fandom for only a month in 2012 doesn't count either, iykyk), since many past oncelings are still around even if they're not active in the fandom anymore, and it hurts to get misrepresented.

[queenoftheimps]

Something I've just come to realize about the show version of Interview with the Vampire and its framing device is how much it connects to that confessional scene at the beginning.

Because in a very odd way, that's what this is: not solely an interview, but Louis' confession of his sins, writ large for the world to see.

The thing is: in Catholicism, confessions are private, between you and the priest. No one is supposed to listen in. Unless you are planning to harm someone, the priest is never supposed to tell anyone what you've said. You truthfully say what you've done, and, at the end, the priest is supposed to give you a penance to perform that lets you repent.

Louis tries to confess back in 1910. He tells the priest everything honestly, about his family and his work and his drinking, and he...never gets any penance. He doesn't get any method for repenting, because Lestat kills the priest. Whatever method he would have received to forgive himself for drinking and pimping and hiding, it doesn't arrive, because the priest is dead and unable to give it.

And over the next hundred years, those sins get so much worse than anything he did while alive.

In a weird way, I think he's still trying to chase that. He never got penance and he wants it. Louis wants to say everything that he's done and get rid of all the guilt he feels in a way that satisfies the Catholic side he was raised with.

Except...it's an inverse of how Catholic confessions are supposed to work. For starters, he's lying, to himself and to Daniel, which Daniel calls out repeatedly. He has Armand listening in, providing commentary and stopping him at points. And he wants to broadcast it to the world at large, so that everyone can hear exactly what he's done.

Which provides him a very brutal form of penance, which Armand himself calls out: suicide, by way of vampiric revenge.

To sum up: I don't think Daniel's wrong to say that Louis is using him like a whore paid to hear him talk. But I also think that, to some extent, Louis is trying to use him as the priest who will give him a way to forgiveness.

Except it's wrong. Because he's not really confessing to everything he's done. And Daniel knows that.

[super-license]

girl spill-

OKAY SO….to start off i love listening to podcasts and i listen to quite a few with f1 journalists who have some insight into daniel, red bull and the whole vcarb situation.

and based on what i’ve heard, the visa/cash-app deal is really big within red bull. specifically because not only have they already had an existing deal with red bull that’s worth a LOT, they are also the title sponsor of the vcarb team. and with the whole “RB” fiasco thing (not being named racing bulls or having any other sort of team name besides the title sponsors) f1 is essentially forced to call them “visa-cash app RB” or whatever. so they obviously have a LOT riding on this deal. plus with everyone roasting them about this team name (let’s be honest, rightfully so) they have a LOT banking on them being good.

so let’s get to the daniel ricciardo part which in my opinion is very essential to this deal. daniel is arguably one of, if not the most marketable driver on the grid. he is not only talented and well known but he’s also a veteran driver who knows what he’s doing, which is something that this new team, in a transition period desperately needs. and even if this team name is shit, they can market daniel (and yuki too) to people and be like “hey this is what we bring to the table.”

another thing too is that the vcarb team is going to have a much closer relationship to red bull than they’ve ever had in years past. they’re moving their factory to milton keynes. they’re utilizing as many parts from red bull that they can within the regulations. they want to be competitive this year, and their whole goal is to get rid of this junior team mentality that everyone seems to have about them. so what better way to do that then to have one of the most recognizable and veteran drivers on the grid be on your team and get you to where you wanna be.

we all know that alpha tauri made huge improvements last year and were decently competitive in the last few races. and i think having both daniel and yuki on the team had a huge impact on that. so if i’m totally honest i think daniel’s performance, his influence and his expertise within the team is a huge reason why this deal even happened in the first place. i don’t see visa/cash-app (both huge american based companies) investing heavily into f1 like they are, if daniel wasn’t a part of the deal.

also this is just my opinion but if vcarb or whatever they’re gonna be called is actually competitive, and performing well (getting podiums, being at the front of the pack) i’d love to see daniel stay and be at his own team. as much as i think we love to talk about the red bull seat, we all know that daniel is never going to be the priority while max is still there. and honestly? just seeing daniel being happy with racing again is the whole reason i’m here, and i actually feel like the vcarb/rb/alpha tauri team (whatever we’re calling it) could be REALLY good for him.

p.s. - this is all dependent on if vcarb is actually competitive too. if they’re shit and daniel is outperforming that car and yuki then 100% i think get him into that red bull seat because he deserves it. and also who’s to say in 2025 he couldn’t move up to the red bull seat too with perez maybe being gone. that’s also a huge possibility too. and i wouldn’t be shocked if that happened. however, i highly, highly doubt it will happen this year, just based on the current situation.

[stealthrockdamage]

Ooo, do elaborate on botw sucks!! As someone who's never played but had friends hound me to play for years, I'm curious to hear the other side of it

honestly i don't have a good or like well-thought-out way of putting it which means people will have me drawn and quartered for this. but people like talk about how the Exploration Is Good but i found in my experience i'd walk around an empty field with no music playing bored out of my skull to find a shrine which had a basic puzzle, or a little camp full of a handful of the same few enemies and it just. failed to grab me. i was like. unable to comprehend how anybody got deep enough into the game to see things like divine beasts or whatever which i'm sure are actually cool because they are more carefully crafted set pieces. because the game just. is an extremely large field of mostly the same few things over and over. playing breath of the wild, to me, feels like grinding for loot drops in an rpg or something, except instead of like, even engaging with combat systems or having to optimize your grinding strategy as a little puzzle, the thing that slows you down is completely empty space, fields full of grass and nothing else. it's sinfully boring idk how anyone could like it. every time i thought i had intuited something cool like blowing up a wooden crate next to a bokoblin camp to get at their stash of valuable materials i would be rewarded with, like, an apple and a mushroom. and it's like. okay this is nothing. every weapon feels like total ass to use i nthe beginning and you have hardly any inventory space to begin with, you have to upgrade your inventory space. to me this doesn't feel like an interesting constraint that makes you play creatively and be resourceful it just made it feel like i was cycling out shitass toothpick for shitass toothpick to poke at the same few enemies with. i can sort of understand the idea that as you make your way to a larger landmark you stumble upon interesting things that distract you, i think that's a cool design philosophy but i don't think botw pulls it off because none of the distractions are *interesting.* i'll do a shrine because the rewards are too necessary to pass up, not because i really care about the puzzle. and maybe it's just not for me. that's fine. but. eugh.

[massyworld]

My Chapter 22 Commentary

“We aren’t going on a date!” “Yes, we are!” The beautiful boys that you are. I love the start to this chapter, their combined prettiness hit me like a truck ngl. It was also such an odd feeling seeing Kagiura’s hair still left in the same position as we last saw it months ago. Feelin like we’re on earth while Kagihira are on the Miller planet in Interstellar, time speeding by for us but inching ever so slowly for them. Anyway, they’re adorable here. And Kagiura is getting prettier by every chapter.

I love how much bolder Kagiura is now too; probably emboldened by Hirano’s initiative in choosing the location of the 10 seconds last chapter. And Hirano. Hirano, once again, saying no to something with Kagiura, then realizing he’s actually at least somewhat okay with it (if not more).

Chapter 22: Slowly but Surely. The Gap Between Givers and Takers Like everyone else, I’m soooo encouraged by the name of this chapter. Like. This is really happening huh. Things are really changing for Hirano in real-time, and he’s becoming very incrementally more aware of it. And the tagline is so ooogh… is it referring to the palpable difference felt when you are the giver of touch (by extension, affection, and by extension, love), is it referring to the gap slowly and ultimately diminishing to the point that there is no longer a difference felt whether one is the giver or taker and the effect felt is the same no matter what? Is it referring to the widening discrepancy between our boundless acquisition of our planet’s resources and what our poor earth is physically capable of supplying us with hence sending us further past the point of no-return for ecological sustainability? Only sensei has the true answers.

“We’re just going shopping! No one calls that a ‘date’!” “People go on shopping dates all the time!” Kagiura continuing to fight the good fight. He’s right, Hirano. I mean if even uniform dates exist, surely anything can be a date…

“How long?” “It’s a secret. But I’ll tell you… Once you fall in love with me.” Honestly, I don’t really know specifically, but I feel like the fact that sensei did a throwback to Hirano wondering how long Kagiura’d been in love with him, is more significant/relevant to the future storyline than we think right now…  

Other than, you know, Kagiura cranking up his rizz to MAXIMUM DRIVE Niibashi putting distance between him and Kagiura in front of Hirano is so funny. Even funnier is Kagiura’s adorable little “Niibashi’s mad at me because I’m missing a button :D” happy-go-lucky air here while he grins ear to ear. I also love the different ways both Niibashi and Hirano get angry around Kagiura hahah. Kagiura really is the perfect easygoing friend for that kind of personality. Still thinking about somebody pointing out the fact that Kagiura’s button was shown missing since the chapter cover for #20…

“Shall we skip practice today? I feel bad monopolizing you every day.” Please monopolize him until the end of time. Niibashi just quietly simmering in the background like my dinner. Hirano looking up at Kagiura in such a cute little way while holding the ends of his sweater, why the frick does this give me such domestic vibes.. Ha ha it reminds me of Kagiura holding Hirano’s ring folder when he was fixing it up in the nurs e ‘ s  o f  f  i     c     e         .            .                    .

I’m sorry I am now looking at the symbolism for paper cranes (the ones in the background on the table behind Niibashi calling Kagiura a slob, and well, it’s not much, it’s just stuff like honor, good luck/fortune (hmm), loyalty and longevity (hmmmmm)… Slowly but surely…

Sewing privileges transferred. Niibashi’s organs eroding from the inside-out from seeing (and probably simultaneously remembering everything Kagiura’s told him Hirano has done/said) every speck of affection dripping out from every crevice on Hirano’s gay little face and body.

“There’s nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it.” Including realizing your growing romantic feelings for Kagiura, right? Man the way Hirano keeps poking/hurting himself in the process of trying to fix Kagiura’s button/make up for wrecking it himself… makes me emo how he doesn’t mind getting hurt if it’s all for Kagiura’s sake aghhhh byeeeee… Love all the fond smiles Kagiura gives when Hirano says something cool, gahhhh… they love each other so much… I cant handle them…. “Ugh, why do you have to be so stubborn even with something like this?!” “I’m just messing with you.” Aaaand there’s his first smile of the chapter, followed by the next one 6 pages later (and one of my favourite panels of Kagihira together ;___; laughing together and relishing purely just being with the other….

Can’t remember if someone said this already, but I don’t know if it’s significant here, them both being on one side of the window frame’s shadow (the ‘centre line’ (Romance: don’t cross the line)). I mean it’d make sense I guess, since what Kagiura initiated wasn’t super romantic relatively speaking, albeit still a very affectionate gesture. Either way though- no lines were crossed, for sure.

Bony shoulder… hard thigh from the lap pillow… the physical awareness of each others’ bodies…. the way Kagiura rubs his head on it like he’s a cat on a scratching post… I digress. Love how sensei does lighting in her manga. The shadow that separates part of Hirano from Kagiura on the page after Kagiura told him it makes his heart race. Oooh…

...It doesn’t make mine race, though. But… It’s still not bad at all. What if I died. No but for real, this hurtssss because Hirano’s thinking to himself how he doesn’t physiologically feel the same as Kagiura, but he still enjoys the contact. He still likes touching it. Even if I’m not in love with you the way you are with me, I still want to be with you Kagi-kun.

I also want to mention something. I’ve kind of picked up this little.. thing.. of counting the panels of their ten second touching as if each panel is a second. Now, I’m too lazy to look through right now but there was at least one time when it equated to about 10 panels, 10 seconds, right? Well here, I’m counting 14 panels of his head being on Hirano’s shoulder. I was talking with friends about this and we were so unanimous about the fact that this was *not* 10 seconds long. Okay, it could’ve been, but c’mon, between all their talking, do you reallyyyy think Kagiura was fully counting the whole time. Be for real

Oh… Was that 10 seconds already? Back to the lighting. MAN. So good. The shadow on both the boys as Kagiura removes the weight of his head from Hirano’s shoulder. I hope his shoulder felt lighter. I hope it felt wrong to feel so light. Just like when Kagiura removed his arms from around Hirano after the hug and Hirano shivered a little. I hope each and every continued loss of weight and warmth is an accumulated strip torn off of Hirano’s psyche, and I hope he reaches the point where he is just a building torn to shreds whose only hope for reconstruction is the handyman responsible for the teardown in the first place.

God I just noticed Kagiura’s made that smiling while looking down face before, in chp 17, and Hirano just watches him so closely… but that wasn’t after touching. However in chp15 it was after their first 10 sec touching, but he wasn’t smiling, he looked blushily anguished, and Hirano was observing him in the panel right before it, top left, just as he is here…

Oh Hirano…bold of you to think Kagiura’s only been teaching you basketball…

It’s so crazy how Miyano dispels all this manga-obtained BL wisdom and yet does not have the intuition to put 2 and 2 together from what is coming out of Hirano’s mouth. It’s okay, not everyone can be Tashiro/Hanzawa…

Also, I feel like everyone’s processed it long enough that it’s just normal now, but Hirano admitting his heart raced during the hug and it not being mentioned at all (not even in motherfreaking SFX) up until this point is insane. It’s insanity. What other finer details are being kept under wraps til much later? Anyway, so I guess Hirano’s parents aren’t the hugging type ;_;  

Love the Hiramiya banter. And Hirano’s chibi face in the, “Yeah, right???” panel. Aaaand cue Exhibit #2(?) of Hirano’s selective hearing in full display. So frustrating yet funny. Miyano literally giving out the secrets to the universe FOR FREE and Hirano’s out here like “man I really need the secrets of the universe, whatever shall I do”

I mean, personally, I don’t think we can know for sure yet if his heart was beating hard during the hug from surprise or from ~something else~, until they, like, schedule in a hug or something. Pencil it into their busy schedules in advance and know it’s coming and be fully prepared for it only for his heart to start racing again despite the precognition and become totally ruined inside and out, only then will I sleep soundly at night-

And then the infamous: When he’s around…it’s so much easier to focus. God I wish I could see him 顔が見てえ…Kao ga mitē…I want to see his face…. instant ruination. thrown asunder further into uncertainty. I’ve definitely had crushes where my infatuation developed while at a distance, pondering how much I think of them, and then leading to further physical reactions within their proximity. I feel… good things will come of this date. Though it’d be nice if Kagiura hugged Hirano during the date, to further nail down Miyano’s quote of how much they wanted to see the person, and then getting embraced after.

Ahhh… Hirano pissed off, then receiving Kagi’s text and instantly relaxing and smiling…and regaining the focus to study. Not to mention Hirano adding a date-like activity to their very non-date date. And calling it “not a date, but...”

I’m going to throw them into the sun. /lovingly

[petit-papillion]

https://www.tumblr.com/petit-papillion/742595050403446784?source=share

Its sad that they didn't trust charles to be the leader of the project. Now they're talking about him learning like he was some rookie. He will be 28 when lewis arrive, in his seven season at f1. That's his prime

The story of an unexperienced charles learning by having a wdc teammate already happened in 2019. They decided to send the wdc away and supposedly were going to focus on charles as the new leader, but that never happened. And now they're selling this lewis move with the same story again, "a opportunity for charles" he will learn", as if time hasn't passed. Maybe it's because charles looks very boyish still so it's easy to sell the apprentice narrative.

Honesty I wouldn't be surprised if after 2028 max eventually decides to try ferrari, they will boot charles away without ever actually giving him the car to win and trusting him to lead the project.

Hi Anon! Respectfully, hard disagree. I don't think this is a matter of Charles being inexperienced/an apprentice, who needs someone to learn from. Charles is a very capable and accomplished driver himself. That doesn't mean there aren't still things he can learn from someone with many more years of driving experience (in a championship-winning car no less) than him. It would be the same if Alonso had joined the team. Fernando is a very cunning driver who has often used his seniority in driving experience to his advantage. To not see it as an opportunity to learn new or improve existing skills, would be foolish.

I think Ferrari also hopes Lewis' knowledge of how Mercedes operates as a team, comparing their car to the ones he drove for Merc, etc. will be beneficial to help the Ferrari team grow. There are many reasons for Ferrari to want Lewis on their team, that are not needing someone else to lead the project.

Time will tell whether I am right in my assumptions, but I truly believe that they are not discarding Charles as their hope for next WDC. They know that Charles is extremely well liked all around, he is a marketing dream, the tifosi worship the ground he walks on, and after everything he has been through (both in his personal life and with Ferrari), it would be a true fairy tale if he was the one to bring the championship home again at last.

As for Ferrari booting Charles out for Max... Not going to say "inconceivable", because stranger things have happened in F1, but I'd find it highly unlikely with the current people in place at Ferrari, and what I know about Max (which, granted, is not a lot). Let's not forget they were at risk of losing Charles after Silverstone, and they ended up replacing Binotto with Fred, who has a strong relationship with Charles (and Lewis for that matter). And then they gave Fred pretty much free rein to hire/fire as he saw fit to make the team stronger, (with some of the first people to go being those who did not appear to be supporting Charles as the #1 driver).

I do feel like there is a risk of Lewis getting credit for turning the team around when he arrives in 2025, when it is clear that Fred has been working hard to make changes since he started last year. And Charles's input is clearly more valued now. His feedback/suggestions being implemented in car development, strategy, etc. So I really hope that Ferrari can already show this year that they are making giant steps forward, and Charles can pocket a decent number of podiums/wins. Of course there's no telling how dominant the Newey/RB/Max combo will be this year. We may just be looking at another season ending with 23/24 wins by RBR...

In closing, here is a lovely quote from John Elkann at the 2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix: "Charles is a very strong driver with enormous potential, and there is no reason why he cannot become world champion."

[haljordns]

i always think about how much school Jason missed when he was in the ground, like he couldn’t sign back up for school since he is legally dead, he must’ve stopped school when he was 14-15, he didn’t experience prom or surprise exams he didn’t write long essays or meet people his age or even make a bestfriend. :( If he did try and catch up on his studies when he comes back it would probably be really hard since math changes every year, i like to think once he goes back into the manor

((like freshly 20 since jason isnt that much older then tim but people like to think he is since he’s done so much and he was only 17 when he was arkham knight video game wise))

but i like to think Alfred was helping him try to catch back up so he can try and go to college or would he ask Tim since Tim is around the age where he stopped doing school. Would he even tell Bruce he’s trying to catch up in his education? and he probably wouldn’t have time when he was barely red hood because he was running his underground stuff, he was like red hood 24/7 because he’s not supposed to be alive

:(((( hes just a baby to me

-🦦

yes!! I think about this a lot too! I would like to think that Jason didn’t require as much catch up when he came back; just because I assume that the education he was getting when he was living with Bruce far exceeded the education that he would’ve received at a public school.

(cut cause this got long, sorry!)

I’d also like to think that maybe while he was in prison he was part of some program to get his GED! I would love if canon talked about Jason going back to school at some capacity— even an online thing or even a throwaway line about him getting his high school deploma.

I think that Jason wouldn’t tell any of the other Bats while he was going through the process of getting his GED for a mix of reasons. 1) I imagine it’s before he’s on solid ground with any of them and 2) it would probably bring on feelings of shame and grief over the things he missed out on.

I think it’d be funny if he just casually mentions going to college one day and everyone is shocked cause they didn’t even know he finished highschool.

As for Tim and Jason’s ages!! I completely agree. Based off the early comics (that have probably been retconned but I do not care 🥳) Jason and Tim only have like a two year age gap. Jason dies at 15, Tim is Robin months later, Tim is 13 when he starts ergo 2 year difference.

Extra thoughts: going by which comic you’re reading it can be argued that Talia may have cared about Jason enough to have him educated! Not to mention the things he probably learned at the all castle. I think that Jason has an eclectic assortment of extensive knowledge. He’s ridiculously intelligent but I do think he would put a certain importance on having a high school diploma because it would feel like getting to have an experience that was stolen from him.