#Sorry that this have to be my first post after that long of an unplanned hiatus
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facets-and-rainbows · 3 months ago
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Update from Kazue Katoh's Twitter
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The Blue Exorcist hiatus will be extended for another month (through the November issue)
[Drawing of Katoh apologizing] Sorry for all the delays!
As Blue Exorcist celebrates its 15th anniversary, I'm taking my first ever unplanned three-month break from publishing it. I think it's about time to share more information on the situation with my readers...It's a personal matter but I'd like to tell you.
I was actually diagnosed with an illness at my regular checkup in March, and I've spent the last few months working in between hospital visits.
I've finished surgery, which went well, and I've been discharged for the time being, but I needed extra time for post-op treatment so I'm going to have to extend the hiatus.
It's ended up as a long 3-month wait, and I'm sorry about that!
I'll be keeping my exact diagnosis private for now, but in my case it shouldn't be life-threatening with proper treatment.
I'm currently back to work and feeling good, so don't worry too much!
[Drawing of Katoh in a hospital bed] I actually got excited for my first hospitalization, and my first surgery, and my first general anesthesia, and my first catheter... Maybe it's a manga artist thing. I had my catheter removed by a nurse who apparently reads Blue Exorcist, haha, nothing can scare me anymore (*Catheter=a tube that goes directly in the urethra) (Nurse: Take a deep breath and I'll take it out when you exhale...)
[Drawing of Katoh at the gym] I got back to the gym 3 days after I was discharged from the hospital! They said exercise will be good for my recovery.
The current plan is:
Next month: There will be no Blue Exorcist chapter in the November issue of Jump SQ (which comes out in October), but I'm drawing a new poster for it!
The month after next: Blue Exorcist is scheduled to return in the December issue of Jump SQ (which comes out in November.)
At any rate, I'll be continuing treatment alongside work for a while, so there may be times when that impacts my work and makes you all worry...Apologies in advance! My soul couldn't rest if I died before finishing Blue Exorcist, so I'm hoping to stick around and keep drawing it while I continue my treatment.
All this has just been spurring on my inconsistency as an author, but I hope you'll stick with Blue Exorcist going forward!
Kazue Katoh, Sept 4, 2024
[Drawing of Katoh making a determined little fist] And take care of yourselves too! Get your annual checkups!
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love-anddeepression · 1 year ago
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EVERYTHING IS FINE- Miguel O’Hara x fem!reader
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this is it. angsty asf. bittersweet ending it’s sad people. tw: infidelity. based on my most recent post. please comment i’m literally begging you and tell me how you like it<3
Part 2
In the depths of your heart, you already know. Your Miguel is not yours anymore.
You remember the stolen glances between him and Dana where you pretended not to notice the palpable tension between the three of you amidst the throng of about ten other people in the house.
It was a nice dinner that you’d planned, after spending almost a week away because of your actual job as well as your little side gig that was being a part of spider society.
But fifteen minutes into the little shin-dig and you get a call from none other than your boss. Not the nice one who showed you the ropes when you first joined and provided you with hours of mentorship. The bitch that was a variant of your husband was currently floating above your watch as you glared at him in the bathroom.
“We need you.”
“Not today.”
“It’s an emergency.”
“It’s always an emergency.” you roll your eyes.
“Look this was unplanned, you think my life’s aim is to torment you?”
“Kind of.” you nod and he groans, “Give me twenty minutes.”
——
At the end of twenty minutes, you storm out of your house as quietly as you can, yes it’s an oxymoron but you’re pissed off.
At Miguel, at your husband, at yourself.
Your mother always said that you were one to pity yourself, even when every bad thing that happened was the result of your own actions. All your life you’ve disagreed, but now you think that maybe your mother was probably right.
None of this would have happened if you’d just said no. No to Dana making her way into your marriage to her guy best friend and co-worker.No to the variant of him with fangs and red eyes and No to your own urge of fucking things up because you wanted to see what happened. If maybe what your heart felt was wrong. That there was nothing wrong with you and Miguel, that he still loved you.
You let out a shaky breath and open a portal from an alleyway behind your apartment building. The purple hue reflects onto your face. No, you weren’t a spider. Just a traveller that stumped your boss and changed his perception of everything he knew about the multiverse.
The man himself nodded at you as you stepped onto the platform he was standing on, looking back to the holo of what looked like a rogue Doc Ock, Goblin and another Spiderman.
“What, now we have evil spidermen? Isn’t that breaking the canon?” you raise an eyebrow.
“That’s the thing. There’s no canon event broken. He was meant to be a villain. Yet, I’ve never heard of him, or of this universe.”
You look at him like he’s just told you that he used to be a stripper in college and all his money came from his side-gig, “I’m sorry, what? The all powerful Miguel O’Hara with the pixel suit doesn’t know of the existence of a universe?”
“You’re being real helpful right now.” he grumbles.
“Thank you, I knew you’d appreciate the help.”
——
The house is quiet when you walk in, evidently everyone has left. The kitchen has been cleaned and the lights are off.
He’d always been your biggest supporter. Always so humble even though he had a high position and a fat paycheck, always telling you to let him help you. Doing some of your work for you when you were busy.
The bedroom door creaked a little as you enter, the sound of your loves breathing makes you crack a small smile. His hulking figure curled up and moving up and down. His face slack.
God he was so beautiful.
You shed your clothes and go through your night routine as fast as you can. Brushing your teeth and scrubbing your face. Cursing the pimples that always make their way onto your forehead at the wrong time.
The mattress squeaks as you get on, slowly wrapping your hands around his body. He stirs and looks up at you, his eyes softening. He’d been drinking, you can tell. He hasn’t looked at you like this for a while.
“Hi.” his hands cup your face and you smile softly as you kiss his rough palm. Your own covering his.
“Sorry I disturbed you. Thank you for cleaning up.” your hands mirror his actions, thumbs caressing his cheekbones.
He answers you with a soft kiss. And then another. And his hands are travelling down to pull you to him. Engulfing you as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. Your hands move to play with his hair as he drifted back to sleep.
You close your eyes and pretend that everything is fine. That the lipstick stain on his shirt in the laundry basket wasn’t the same as Dana’s.
———
“Are you fucking dumb?” O’Hara seethes, as he disinfects the gash at the bottom of your neck.
“It’s just a graze, i’m fine.” you grumble, “it’s not like anyone’s gonna care if i die.”
“No, just shut your mouth. Stop talking like you’re some martyr. There are plenty of people here who would miss you.”
“Miguel, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” you chuckle, “i get it-
“No, you don’t. actually, you don’t get it. the woman i loved died, and she’s gone and i’d do anything to have her back, and you’re so convinced that if you died your own fucking husband wouldn’t want to die too? Stop acting like you’re expendable.” his eyes glow and yours widen, “This may come as a surprise to you, but people care.”
You gulp, “Sorry.”
He grumbles under his breath as he sprays the wound with bacta so it heals faster. Apologising when you wince.
You look at his concentrated face that is focused on wrapping the bandage around your shoulder and the bottom of your neck. His face is mere inches from yours. He is the splitting image of your husband, save from the red eyes and fangs. But this close you can see the differences, his eyebrows are a tad thicker and his ears are smaller.
He is harder and his words are sharp. Your love is soft and quiet. Mean when he has to be, but kinder. More open.
More loving. Yes. He’s more loving and he loves you.
You look away and focus on the ceiling. You don’t see his eyes watching your face. Eyes filled with sadness and want.
——
“Dana, here. Have some tea.” you pour a cup for the woman sitting next to Miguel at the table. At your spot.
Is it toxic to think that maybe you want her to choke on her tea?
She’d started to carpool with Miguel a few months ago , seeing as they worked together and were on the same team, it was more efficient and made more sense.
You didn’t want to seem like a toxic wife so you nodded and agreed, because you were secure in your relationship with your husband.
“Thank you.” she says your name with a wide smile as she sips the tea, “Amazing, as always.”
“I know right, she makes amazing tea.” he smiles at her and raises an eyebrow. Dana snorts.
You look between the pair trying to hide their smiles, “Did I miss something?” an awkward smile makes its way onto your face.
“Inside joke, you wouldn’t get it. It’s a scientist thing. I don’t think your writer brain could handle it.” Dana waves you away as if you’re a fucking waiter and you bristle.
But what drives it home is that Miguel laughs out loud when she says that. His hair flops onto his forehead and Dana fixes it for him, her hands running through this hair.
You fight the urge to break a plate on her head but you know it’ll be fruitless. Because your husband will take her side.
Maybe you’re just being dramatic. Maybe the tears you’re trying to hide as you make breakfast are unwarranted and you can’t take a joke.
Everything is fine.
You call out to them from the kitchen, telling them you’re going to be late and his voice is brighter when he says, “Okay, honey.”
—————
“You okay?”
“I’m fine, boss.”
“You look dead.”
“Your eyes bags suggest the same.”
“You’re hilarious.” O’Hara smirks
“Thank you.” you take a sip of the beer he’d passed.
It was late, far past dinner time. And the both of you had taken time to go over the record of what anomalies were most common and key weaknesses in most villains.
“But seriously, are you okay?”
You gulp, “Tell me about your wife. Please.”
He blanches, and then looks at the tears welling up in your eyes.
“Well, where to begin?” he turns to face you, “She…was a writer, she had her own business. She loved sunflowers because they faced each other when the sun wasn’t in the sky.” he smiles sadly, “she was terrified of frogs and dead fish. And she hated onions. The pickiest fucking eater.” he shakes his head and chuckles.
“She sounds sweet.” you know she was variant of you, Miguel had shown you the web of life and in every universe there was version of you that made their way into his life. It was beautiful, honestly.
“She had short hair, and her smile. God, it could make anyone’s day better.” he rested his head on his hand and looked at the hologram shining in front of the both of you.
“She sounds like a dream.” you reply.
“She was.” he nods.
“Hey would you mind bringing up a live of my house?” you ask.
“Why?”
“Humour me, will you?”
He grumbles and a hologram showing your universe pops up, on the screen is your living room. And Miguel freezes when he sees the scene before him.
He sees himself kiss Dana. The version of him who is married, is kissing his co-worker. He’s taking her in his arms and nuzzling her nose. He’s pecking her cheeks and tickling her like she’s his wife.
Like he’s in love with her.
“I love you.” his voice echoes throughout the room. And Dana says it back.
His head whips to look at you. You don’t look surprised, rather, you look defeated. You breathe out like it’s a finality. Your beautiful beautiful eyes transfixed on offending scene in front of you.
Before anything else happens, he shuts it off. Immediately turning to look at your frozen form, “Hey, you with me?”
You shake your head and smile. Eyes still fixed onto where the hologram was, “I’m fine.” Tears fall down your cheeks as your mouth quivers, “I’m okay. Everyday he comes back around this time. And they carpool. I told him I’d be late today. Just after I made them tea and they laughed at an inside joke amongst themselves.”
His eyes widens, “Oh honey.” his moves to hug you and you let out an ugly sob, “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
“I knew it.” you say into his chest, “I’m so fucking stupid.”
His hand pats your back, “You’re not stupid.”
“I mean, I know i was busy, i know i wasnt always home. But I tried, i fucking tried. WHAT IS SO WRONG WITB ME?” the dam breaks and you let out a wrecked shout of agony that breaks his heart into two, “Why wasn’t I good enough?!” your body shakes violently.
“No.” he says firmly, taking your face in his hands, almost squeezing your cheeks and forcing you to looking at him, your hands fly to cover his, “ You are good enough. You are enough. Listen to me. That fucking idiot doesn’t know who he just lost.”
“But-But if i wasnt so busy-
“If he had a problem, he should’ve told you. He’s a fucking pussy.”
Your words are silenced when he shakes you once, hands still holding your cheeks, “You are the most perfect person. And the both of them will pay. I promise that, cariño.”
His arms wrap around you to engulf you as you hide your face in the crook of his neck, rapid breaths slowing. His pulse beats and you can feel the vibrations on your own skin.
You close your eyes and pretend everything is fine. Because you’re in his arms.
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lovecolibri · 29 days ago
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Alright, gotta make a petty post so I can get it out of my brain. It got long, sorry.
It is baffling to me that people keep pushing this idea that Buck would be perfectly happy with another of his LIs if only Eddie weren't around. Especially after 8x05 I'm seeing the same shit I saw with BT 1.0 which is that they're just so cute and *sigh* if only Eddie weren't around, Buck could be happy with them but sooo unfortunately, Eddie is there and better for Buck.
And I just cannot imagine we are watching the same show. Buck would be perfectly happy with someone who shuts the lights off while he's talking? Someone who basically tells him to shut up? Who doesn't want to dress up for parties, and thinks because his bio dad is alive Buck shouldn't be so upset about Bobby almost dying? Someone who really hopes Buck has the kinds of insecurities related to a troubled relationships with his dad that makes people eager to please and easier to manipulate? In what word? In what universe is this a satisfying relationship for someone like Buck who just wants someone to love all of him for exactly who he is?
And I get what they're probably trying to do here because I've seen it a hundred times with other slow burn shows, where one or both of them are dating someone perfectly nice but it's just not quite a good fit. But that doesn't work here for numerous reasons.
One big one being that T is NOT a "perfectly nice" person. If they wanted that they could have invented someone new, not just AGAIN ignored the history a character had to use them for something else without ever taking a minute or two to address it, and by that note, not allowing the firefam to be able to truly talk to Buck about his relationships because they can't talk bad about the LI, so instead all these talks turn into why Buck is being bad at the relationship and needs to be better. (NGL I am absolutely dreading what that's going to look like in 8x06 now that we know it's not about T's racist, misogynistic past terrorizing Hen and Chim. 🙄The audience does not care about that man, why do we need to invent a reason for Buck to struggle with him when there is already one there that the audience already knows about! It sounds like a waste of screentime to invent something new instead of using what you already have which is the whole point of bringing back someone the audience already knows instead of inventing something wholecloth.)
The other glaring reasons this doesn't work for this show go hand-in-hand and that is a) it's been over 6 full seasons of this so b) we've already seen this relationship carousel SO many times and the audience is tired and c) that "slow burn", "pining but they're with someone else and now you go find someone else too, but then they break up with their person but you're already with someone who is nice and you don't want to hurt them" ONLY works when the audience knows they characters have feelings for each other. Oliver talked about longing and wanting the audience to feel that longing too and he's right, but it only works if the audience knows about the feelings. The audience has to be in on it, clearly and with no question, or the trope doesn't work. That's why 3rd party confessions are such a staple, because that other person becomes the vehicle for the audience to be let in on the inner workings of a character's mind without having to do an internal monologue or something. And I love the pining and delicious longing BUT again, that only works if we know the feelings are there but circumstances are keeping them apart.
And most shows do this EARLY. If it's a planned slow burn, you get it in the first season, if it's unplanned liken Chenford it can take a little longer but not much. And they're actually a great example because they did have other relationships that were perfectly fine! They dated nice people who had fun with them! But they were always just a little bland and the show made a point in scenes like that fabulous double date to show the audience which pair is better. BUT part of the angst and longing for the AUDIENCE comes from understanding the main character's desire to not hurt a perfectly nice person they are dating. Which does not work when that relationship is bad, whether the show is trying to portray it that way or not (see, RNM trying to pretend one character making snide remarks about a formerly homeless teen "smelling like a river" and being "house trained" was normal GF behavior and they were a cute couple).
But 9-1-1 is too far into the show to pull off a fully traditional "slow burn". The character have not admitted feelings yet and until they do, the "slow burn" can't really start for the audience! I do think they have an advantage in having put in the work to do this storyline ages ago in s4, so if they play it right and get a good montage of Buddie moments under a good song they can get the audience up to speed pretty quickly. But they can't really do the whole other relationships thing for too long, and playing BT as "so close but just not quite a good fit" doesn't ring true because whether the show has intended it or not, all of their scenes come across with T being a condescending dick to Buck and looking like he doesn't even like him that much.
IDK, I just love Buck so much and I am SO TIRED of this show putting him in these relationships with awful people and never addressing it, never allowing the firefam or Maddie to address it, and always making it out like BUCK is the problem for not trying hard enough instead of asking if he's even happy, or if THEY are trying hard enough to be what BUCK needs.
ANYWAY. I am not closing on Buddie, and I am prepared for it to take a bit to get together. But I think the show needs to recognize that this is not s2 of a show where they are starting up a 3 season slow burn arc, and that because of FOX interfering, and because of the choice in character and actor THEY chose to bring on for this, they are not going to be able to exactly follow the full typical slow burn playbook. I think they can still make it work and make it good and fun for the audience to be longing alongside the characters, but they are going to have to shift some things, and honestly they need to get rid of T as quickly as possible because they are only, once again, doing a disservice to Buck's character by having him date someone like that, and to the firefam/Maddie by not allowing them to call out a LIs shitty behavior and instead putting all the blame on Buck.
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joelsmochi · 1 year ago
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Us Against the World
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A/N: How easy is it to come back after a 4 month (unplanned) hiatus? Not easy. At all. Sorry for my absence darlings, a lot has been going on from moving to health issues to new jobs… It’s been so hectic that I am willing to admit that this piece of garbage was also being worked on over the entire 4 months I hadn’t posted. This was all I could conjure up, but I wanted to polish this off so I could move onto the next project, so I also apologize for how rushed this one kind of ends + it doesn’t have the same lighthearted tone as the first 2 parts. Regardless I hope you enjoy reading (don’t judge it too critically… I’m begging.) Also I think when I pasted this it got rid of my italicized and bolded words -.- (i am serious about italics)
warnings: 18+, kinda mean!jealous!insecure!joel, cclg/ddlg [attitude] dynamic, punishment (but it’s really a reward ;]), angst, more panty kink, some useless scenes, chance of getting caught, a little sadness and a bit cheesy, lazily proofread so expect grammar issues + typos!, i don’t wanna spoil so it ends there byeee (let me know if i missed any please!)
wc: 10k (will the length make up for how bad it is? no? ok >.<)
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The bar was filled with laughter and short applause from people winning their games. It smelled slightly of stale alcohol and oak wood.
You had just walked in with Joel behind you. As you were taking in your surroundings, Joel had already seen a guy or two look you up and down. He chose not to say anything. They weren’t worth the trouble.
You both sat at the bar and ordered two beers though you weren’t necessarily trying to getting drunk tonight. You just wanted to keep your promise of making him jealous.
He didn’t think you’d actually go through with it, but when he saw your eyes go from your fresh drink to scanning the men around the bar he knew he was in for a real treat.
“You’re serious ‘bout this?” He rhetorically asked.
You only gave him part of a smile and a shrug to say and what if I am?
He half rolled his eyes and sipped his beer, immediately grimacing at its subpar taste.
“Fine. Do whateeeeever you want, little girl. Just like you always do,” he said. “Gon’ and dance for other guys. I don’t give a damn.”
You glared at him when he called you a little girl, keening a dark chuckle from him. He was poking the bear inside you, waiting for the moment you would choose to give up on your cunning idea.
You stood up out of spite and slowly walked over to a man roughly your age, clad in some lousy outfit that somehow made him stand out to you.
The teasing smirk Joel was wearing replaced itself with a scowl. You swore you felt him shooting daggers into your back as you whispered in the younger man’s ear.
“Wanna dance?”
The boy looked at you with excitement and surprise, bashfully nodding and following you when you pulled him next to the other dancing couples.
You pressed your back into his and looked everywhere except for where Joel was sitting, swaying your hips in sync with your dance partner and occasionally pressing back into his crotch gently.
Joel stared long and hard at the boy who was just using the curve of your ass to jerk off, yet when his eyes wandered to you, all he could do was think about using you like that, only with fewer clothes on.
The song ended and Joel thought it would be the end of your shenanigans; he watched as you whispered in the young man’s ear again, and once you pulled away he motioned for his friend to come over.
Another young man approached the front of you, and you gave him a flirty smile as your arms linked around his neck.
Joel was gritting his teeth so hard he was sure he heard one crack. He wanted to keep his cool, not give you the satisfaction, but watching you dance for men that were your age when he was already insecure about being thirteen years older than you pissed him off.
He knew you were just having fun, but fucking hell.
He hated seeing those idiots practically fucking hump you in the middle of the bar. They were feral and inadequate compared to Joel who knew they could never take care of you the way you needed to be taken care of.
Joel had about enough when the boy in front of you began slipping his thumbs underneath your baby tee and saw how it made you tense up so he reached in his wallet for cash to pay for the drinks. Then, he stomped over you and grabbed your arm, snatching your body from between the two men.
“Fuckin’ idiots,” Joel growled at them before pulling you behind him. He felt you resisting his grip after entering the parking lot so he grabbed your hips and picked you up. He sat you in the passenger seat then got in himself, driving back home without saying a word.
You knew you were in for it.
Once you two made it to his place you were trying to get Joel to speak to you. He just gave you a hard look and tossed you over his shoulder without further resistance; he carried you to his bedroom, sat down, and forced you to bend over in his lap.
“I’m sorry, Jo—ow!”
He had landed a firm slap across the back of your thigh and then broke the zipper on your shorts from yanking them down. Your hips ached from the waistband digging into your bones. You tried wiggling from his grasp causing him to grab a fistful of your hair and yank it back.
He smoothed a hand over the peaks of your ass for a few seconds, not wanting to hurt his precious girl.
But then he remembered how you left him without a care in the world just to spite him.
He gave you another spank that burned furiously against your flesh and forced a cry out of your throat.
“I’ll never do it again,” you pleaded, “I swear! Joel—“
Another smack.
“Fuckin’ damn right, you won’t,” he grunted, watching your ass color red. “You wanna fuck some dumb college boy, huh?”
You whimpered and waved your feet around desperately.
Smack! “Answer me when I ask you a question. Do you wanna fuck people your own fucking age?”
You shook your head frighteningly fast, waving your feet around more as if it would get him to release your hair but his grip only tightened. “No, Joel! I only want you—just you. Please, Joel, I’m sorry.”
He tugged at your panties, not too harshly, just gently enough to create a wedge between your cheeks. You were thankful he didn’t notice your eyes roll back and the soft moan that left you from the friction against your throbbing clit and asshole.
“My ol’ ass not enough for you? S’that it?” He whispered in your ear.
“Of course not—“
He popped you again from your words before pulling your panties up again, hating how you said it like it should have been obvious.
He watched you grind into the taut cloth, humping his knee. Although it was a subconscious movement from your body it didn’t stop him from letting out a humorous laugh.
“So fucking needy, ain’t ya?” He cooed, releasing the fabric and trailing a thick finger down the wet spot in your panties. “M’over here punishin’ you and you’re fucking my leg.”
“M’sorry,” you mumbled.
“You like it when I spank you?” He cooed in your ear; you nodded and he chuckled softly, tickling the hairs along your neck. “Yeah?”
“I like it when—… When you pull my panties,” you bashfully admit. “Feels good.”
He slowly let your hair go and cradled your jaw softly to keep your head up. With a smirk, he toyed with the linings of your panties. “You like when I hurt that pretty little ass a’yours?”
You hummed, taking one of his fingers in your mouth. He circled the pad of his middle finger around the rim of your clothed asshole, letting out a hum or a chuckle every time he felt it pulse.
“You’re gonna be good from now on, girl?”
“Yes, Joel,” you whispered against his fingers, spit drooling into his palm.
“Good,” he hummed softly, “good.”
“Can you,” you paused, unsure of why you were still acting shy. “Can you please pull my panties again?”
He happily obliged, starting a little gentler this time. He watched the shadow of your face contort with pleasure while you moaned softly, grinding your clit into his knee some more.
He watched one of your swollen pussy lips escape from the constriction so he pulled them some more to make the other lip appear.
You moaned at the thin fabric being engulfed by your cunt, clenching so more of your juices oozed out.
You felt his finger gently slip beneath the fabric to rub your wet entrance. You exhaled at his long finger slipping inside of you, collecting your slick before sliding it up to your asshole to circle it briefly.
He removed his finger and snuggled your panties up more. The friction stung your skin deliciously. He landed a smack on your ass cheek with the noise piercing your ears; you yelped and flinched, seductively laughing afterward.
Joel noticed the outline of his hand appearing along your flesh, red and bruised. He kneaded it with his palm and told you to bend over the edge of his bed. Once you were on your stomach again you felt him pull your shorts off of you completely, then your panties. His hands warmed over your thighs, grazing your ass and touching your lower back. He pressed his thumbs in slightly to massage you there for a few seconds before he slid his hands back down again to spread your ass.
You held your lip between your teeth throughout his touches, not wanting to make any noises in case he wanted you quiet.
The cool arousal leaving your body dripped down to your clit almost making you flinch from the temperature difference. Your pussy was clenching around nothing, seeking his fingers or his tongue or his cock — anything. His laugh was taunting and raspy, seeing how desperate you were for him.
"Such a needy girl, hmm?" He took a deep breath leaning into your flesh; his tongue scooped up your juices from your clit to your ass in one long, heavy lick. You gasped, surprised by the sudden contact. You were left disappointed when he didn’t continue lapping at you, but a rush of joy ran through you at the sound of his belt unbuckling behind you.
He heard your simpering little giggle, smiling at how cute it sounded but still popping your right ass cheek where you had begun to bruise. You hissed, chewing on your lip while he undressed from the waist down.
He teased his length along your slit, spreading your wetness upwards and slapping his fat tip roughly against the tight ring of muscle.
And it fucking hurt, more than you were expecting, but judging by Joel’s chuckle he already knew it would.
You understood his need to humiliate you. That was the whole reason for doing what you did. You wanted him to have his way with you just as you had a few nights ago.
But you hurt his feelings more than you expected to and much more than he would like to admit.
He slapped your puckering hole even harder to elicit a response from you, satisfied when you groaned his name.
“Joooel, that hurts.”
He lined up with your pussy, not quite touching you yet. His only response was, “Good,” before shoving his thick cock inside of you.
You screamed at him tearing your walls apart with cruelty, clenching furiously around him to try and adjust quicker.
But he wouldn’t let you.
He pulled out of you to watch your muscles flex for a second, then rammed back inside of you; he stayed as deep as he could.
After ensuring your stomach would remain glued to the bed his lips pressed a wet kiss to the rim of your ear. He listened to your soft cries, feeling your hips wriggle beneath him.
“You gonna be good for me?” He asked again.
You panted with annoyance and told him, “If you fucking ease up on me.”
It was an absentminded comment with consequences you’d be dealing with for days. Joel just clicked his tongue at you and dug his hips into your flesh deeper. His cockhead nudged your cervix serving up a mixture of pain and pleasure throughout your stomach.
He didn’t want to be too mean, however, so he pulled back and pushed his weight into your lower back from his palms. Your stomach being smooshed into the bed made the impacts of his thrusts feel deeper than they were.
Your precum enthusiastically coated his shaft, lubing your entrance as he rammed into you. Your voice was breathy as you spoke.
“Joel—th-that feels… That feels good.” Your eyelids hung low creating a blurry line of vision, head bobbing from his stuttering hips.
“You like getting fucked like a slut?” He spat to which you confirmed. “S’that why you act like one?”
You admitted your faults, not wanting him to ease up on you.
“You wanna fucking dance on someone again?”
You didn’t respond, too immersed in how good he was touching you.
He grunted, pulling out of you leaving strings of your precum mixed with his hanging; he flipped you around and wrapped a hand around the back of your neck, using his other hand to hold you at the base of your spine. He lifted you off of the bed, making you yelp.
Once he got into a comfortable position he removed his hand from your neck, showing you how strong he was being able to hold you up on his own. Your legs looped around his waist as he stood tall, your hands clinging to the broad peaks of his shoulders.
“Look at me,” he whispered; not wanting to be scolded again you lazily obliged. He laughed like a bully at your worn-out expression. “You’re so pretty like this, already fucked out like you can’t handle it.”
“Too much,” you complained against his lips in a short breath.
His hips snapped into yours, jolting your eyes wide open. “I don’t care. You wanted to act like a slut, so you’re gonna have to get fucked like one.”
“Joel—“
He shut you up by shoving his free fingers into your mouth, while the nails of his other hand dug into your back.
He didn’t want to hear your apologies anymore, or your complaints. He wanted you to shut up and take it, like a good fucking girl.
He saw the hindrance of innocence in your eyes that tried to beckon his forgiveness. He ignored it, meeting you with a punishing frown. The heavyweight stare riddled your nerves with anxiety — you didn’t want to disappoint him again.
He ravaged your attitude, breaking you down until he got his way with you just like you had all this time.
“You gonna be a good girl?” He asked again, shoving his fingers further back. You hummed into his hand and nodded, eyes as wide as saucers. He gasped when you twirled your tongue around his digits, slurping up the taste of his flesh. “You like that?”
“Mmhmmm.”
He experimented by pushing his fingers deeper, hitting the back of your throat; you gagged and coughed, but bit down on his knuckles so that he wouldn’t take them out.
His thrusts slowed because he was too focused on feeling your throat, something that felt entirely different against his fingers versus his cock.
Seeking his approval, you took this as an opportunity to fuck yourself on him. With your shaky fingers pressing into his shoulder blades you lifted you rocked your hips up and down, clenching around his length often.
“Look at’cha… You need to cum baby?” His fingers left your mouth indicating he wanted a verbal response.
“Yes, please,” you whimpered. “I’ll be good for you.”
“You’ll be good?”
“Yes. Fuck—yes. I’ll be so good for you, Joel. I promise. I’ll be a good girl for you.”
He moaned at your cunt gripping him, smiling at how you humped him. You couldn’t hide your deprivation from him any longer, but he wanted you to earn it.
“Put your fingers in your mouth,” he instructed, smirking when you did so immediately. He gripped your ass with both of his wide hands to steady you. “Yeah, there you go. S’pretty like this…”
Your hair was glued to the sweat on your face and your eyes were low with a wave of tears waiting to spill onto your cheeks. Your teeth waned behind your red lips as you gurgled from choking on your saliva.
“You’re so pretty for me, princess,” he cooed; despite the softness in his voice, his tone was still suggestive of his anger.
He was on the verge of forgiving you, but he still wasn’t quite there yet.
Your arms and core were growing weaker the harder you worked your body on his, but you were so determined to cum — and to do it on his command.
“Tell me how pretty you are,” he said with a devilish grin widening.
You were a little lost — what exactly did he want?
“Hmm?” You hummed, unintentionally slowing down.
“Tell me… How pretty you are,” he said again.
“Um…” Your mind was blank, God, Joel could really fuck you stupid, couldn’t he? “I’m—I’m so pretty,” you whispered.
You couldn’t think of what to say.
Maybe if I compliment myself the way Joel does…
“You like how pretty I am for you?” You asked. “All fucked out from your cock?”
His eyes rolled shut as he let out an obscenely long groan.
He liked that, you thought.
“I look so pretty with your cock stretching me out, don’t I? Hmm, yes, fuck—ah! You make me so pretty when you let me fuck myself on you, Joel—gah! Do you—fuck. Do you wanna see how pretty I am when I cum like this?”
His eyes shot open at the proposal, the only words his mind was able to compute being, “Yes, princess. Yes, yes, cum for me—mnh, God. You feel so fucking good.”
His words were encouraging enough to keep you going, long enough to light that fire that tickled you red.
“Show me how fuckin’ pretty you look when you cum for me, baby.”
Your ass stung from him squeezing where his punishment landed, adding fuel to your rising orgasm.
He saw it spread across your precious body: your eyes wavering between open and close, your mouth pouting with his name leaving your tight throat, your nipples peaking, goosebumps flaring across your entire body.
You were flushed red and heaving and Joel couldn’t look away. You looked so ethereal, wrapping your fluttering pussy around the base of his dick and grinding in circular motions.
Pins and needles poked your arms from holding your weight, but the climax felt too good to let up so soon. You were sensitive, knotty, and engulfed in the stillness you were finally able to have.
“My pretty girl,” Joel whispered sweetly.
You opened your lazy eyes, giving him a soft smile. “Show me how pretty you are when you cum,” you said against his lips.
He took a moment to catch his breath before propping his arms underneath your thighs one by one. Your body thanked you for the relief.
Your cunt squelched cum onto his balls while the air thickened with the aroma of sex and sweat.
So sleepy, you felt as he continued to drive his hips into you, but he was so handsome in the low light of the moon. You felt your soul tie to his own, blending your orgasm into admiration for the man.
This was anything but the casual agreement you two had come to weeks ago, but fuck was it well worth it. His jealousy was a sign of a weakness he only possessed when it came to you.
“I’m gonna cum,” he whispered with need. You wrapped your hands around his jawline and pressed his lips against yours.
The slip of your tongue against his was nasty. It was fucking filthy. You licked each other anywhere you could reach, coating one another in saliva as if to mark your territories.
Joel whimpered against your lips, admitting his arrival in the middle of the kiss. “I’m cumming. I’m cumming. I—…”
His mouth parted as he brought you impossibly close to his body, and he felt a knee nearly give out from the intensity of his orgasm. He drifted his body to the floor so he could sit on his knees, not wanting to drop you.
His thrusts were small and deep as he continued ruining your sore walls with his ropes of cum.
Still entangled in a series of kisses, they simmered to a savory pace. You tasted each other and relished in the filthy mix of bodily fluids.
You’d never been so sweaty from sex in your life yet it felt so fucking amazing.
He pumped you so full of cum that even with his cock plugging you a little bit of it managed to leak out. You both smiled at the feeling and broke away from each other's lips.
With your head tossed back on the edge of his bed and his head resting on your chest, you just sat there in silence.
His hands gloss over your back and your fingers stroking the wet curls on his head. You wanted to stay here forever, clinging to him like a bear to a tree.
He pressed a kiss onto your collarbone before raising his head to look at you.
“You hungry?” He asked.
“Mm-hmm,” you moaned shut-eyed, obviously very tired from sex. He grunted from standing up again and laid you in the cold bed before grabbing your panties and slipping them back up your legs. You finished it for him, making sure they were snug against your entrance to keep the cum from spilling out too much.
“I’ll go get some takeout, princess.”
You hummed with a small smile at his new nickname for you, feeling him press a kiss to your temple before you fell into a deep slumber.
“What are you doin’?” Joel yawned as he entered the kitchen.
“I am making us eggs and only eggs because you have a poor selection of breakfast foods.”
He snickered, closing the space between you and wrapping his warm arms around your waist. “Well, thank you, princess,” he mumbled against the curve of your neck.
His fingers slipped beneath the shirt you borrowed from him and found the hem of your panties. You didn’t allow his hands to distract you as you spread the fluffy eggs out over two plates.
“I guess this…” His fingers slipped inside of your partially wet cunt, curling just the way you like. “…is my breakfast.”
You shivered as goosebumps poked your skin from the motion of his hand, and you smirked to yourself when his other hand tugged at your panties. Once they hit the ground he bent you over slightly to pull his cock out, gliding it along your slit to tease you. You turned the stove off and gripped the counter, careful to not burn yourself.
Not even a moment later you felt his velvety cock smack against the peak of your ass, and you moaned at how warm he felt against your cold flesh.
“Joel,” you exhaled. “You’re fucking ruining me.”
“Y’say it like it’s a bad thing,” he grunted whilst sliding inside of you.
You moaned, eyes closing softly. “Not at all.”
He rolled his hips slowly, careful not to break you any more than he did just the night before. His hot breath filled your ears with decadent compliments about how good you were for him and how much he wanted to show his appreciation.
Joel fought a moan every time he saw your eyelashes flutter shut and heard you sharply inhale between gritted teeth. His confession of admiration seemed to hold more weight than before. That knot inside of you gushes at his rasps of affection, pushing you toward the edge.
You focused on how he felt, every little thing he was doing: his left hand held you steady at your hip while his right stroked your hair calmly as if you were his new pet kitten. His hips curled into the shape of you as if his body was planting kisses anywhere you managed to still be bruised from his punishments. His thighs trembled against the back of your stiff legs, urging you to let go whenever you were ready, not quite rushing you.
His voice was staggering and cracking, the words I love you straining against his throat from him suffocating it with praises instead.
You knew all of the you’re doing so good f’me’s and you sound so beautiful’s and you look so pretty with my cock inside of you’s were just invulnerably hidden I love you’s, but it didn’t bother you.
You understood what he truly meant and that’s all you needed for now.
His lovely teeth nibbled into the valley of your ear earning a giggle from you; you were so close—so fucking close. You needed more.
You tried rubbing your swollen and throbbing clit yourself but it wasn’t enough. Joel’s need to take care of you radiated from the heat of his body and you craved more of his touch; you moved his hand from your hip to your stiff bud, guiding his fingers to perform the way you sought.
His fingers were strong and thick and just what you needed to overflow, clawing at his bicep, leaning your head back to rest upon his shoulder.
It felt so good to be held by him. A longing that burrowed itself into your soul resurfaced. Ready to be fulfilled by him.
His words turned into simpering little mewls of yes’s and cum for me’s as you clenched around him.
He knew you were just barely there and he was adamant on not changing his pace or patterns if it meant he could watch you crumble.
Joel’s right hand left your hair and held your agape jaw to keep your head from bobbing too much after one of your legs buckled and your grip around his muscles tightened. He increased the force of his thrusts emphasizing the sound of his hips clapping against your heated skin.
His body was aching from the lack of rest but every moan you let out was so soft and subtle that it motivated him to continue.
Your breathing was shallow, filled with whimpers since he wouldn’t ease up on your sore cunt, but you loved it. Your body craved the sin of secrecy that had Joel’s name written all over it.
All the sneaking around, lying, and pretending you two are nothing more than long-time neighbors made all of this worth it. The games. Chasing each other. Waiting days—if not weeks just for a kiss was the thrill of it all.
Deep down you knew it couldn’t last forever; it’d either have to come out or come to an end. But couldn’t you live in the fantasy just for a little while,
moaning Joel’s name a little longer,
feeling the thick cum etched between your bodies,
feeling him stiffen up or jolt whenever your breath hit his sensitive ears,
laughing every time he accidentally slipped out,
getting so carried away that you couldn’t hear anything else…
…Like the garage door opening.
“Oh! Shit!”
You and Joel immediately pulled away, shocked by the sudden boom of Tommy’s voice; with trembling legs, you struggled your underwear back up while Joel tried to tuck in what refused to be hidden.
“Sorry, guys, I didn’t…” Tommy’s voice trailed off as he looked over and realized it was… You?
Wearing one of Joel’s big t-shirts and some rainbow-striped socks, Tommy said your name as if he couldn’t believe it was you. If you didn’t know any better you’d say he was kind of checking you out.
“Jesus, Tommy. Quit lookin’ at her like that,” Joel complained while ushering Tommy into the next room.
“Like what?”
“Like she’s a piece of meat.” Joel briefly looked back at you with those puppy eyes of his and asked if you were okay. You could only give him a tense nod in response.
You exhaled a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in before looking at the plate of now-cold eggs.
Embarrassed wasn’t even the word. Distress curled around every crevice in the pit of your stomach making you feel nauseous.
You inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, regaining enough composure to grab two forks from the utensils drawer and take them out to the living room where the two men sat and spoke.
“Here you go, Tommy,” you said sheepishly while trying to pretend that you weren’t avoiding eye contact. Turning to Joel you said, “I’m gonna head home.”
“You don’t have to leave ‘cus I’m here,” Tommy said, his apologetic tone emphasizing his indication. “I didn’t mean to impose or nothin’, it was… Just a surprise.”
“I gotta go shower and change my clothes anyways, so, uh…”
“Here, I’ll go help you get your things. I’ll be right back Tommy,” Joel said. You both walked up to Joel’s cluttered room where he shut the door softly and then apologized. “I forgot we picked up a job for today,” he explained.
“Well, I have been told I’m a pretty good distraction,” you teased, fumbling with last night’s clothes. He chuckled and watched as you got dressed, asking himself how it got to this point. “I probably can’t do anything until Sunday. My dad wants to take me to this new movie tomorrow, and then some event thingy Saturday.”
“Sunday, that’s…” Joel’s voice trailed off while he pretended to think about something.
You scoffed and narrowed your eyes at him for a moment before hitting his arm with his t-shirt. He caught hold of it and used it to bring you closer, the grin of a jester playing on his face.
“I’m kiddin’, princess. I know it’s your birthday,” he cooed against your lips. His kiss embraced your laughter and made him smile again, but this time much more humbly. “I got you a present—but if I give it t’ya now I’ll be empty-handed in two days.”
You cocked an eyebrow up and stared at his lips causing him to vapidly blush. “You won’t be empty-handed,” you whispered. You held his hand in yours and brought it next to your face.
“Oh?”
“Mmhmm, ‘cus I’ll make sure to keep both’a your hands busy,” you teased.
He watched carefully as you brought his index finger to your drooling mouth and took it in slowly. You somewhat forced his finger down your throat pretending it was his cock. You choked on the thick digit and pouted at him with your eyes.
He gasped at the textures of your narrow throat, frowning in a way that let you you’ve ignited something in him. He fought his moans harder than he ever needed to before, staring at you gag and slurp and slobber around his finger.
You curled your tongue against the webbing of his fingers and licked all of the excess spit up into your mouth with a swift bob of your head.
This made him bite his lip to shut himself up; you decided to not bully the poor man any longer and released his hand, smirking.
“You’re gonna regret that Sunday, princess. I’ll tell you that right now,” he threatened, however, his tone was full of defeat and his voice sounded higher from the strain of silencing moans.
“What are ya gonna do about it, old man?” You teased before walking out of his room.
Your birthday was more fun than you were expecting, more than enough people showed up (granted more than half of them were your dad’s friends), and you spent more time being the photographer than the center of attention.
Joel and Tommy showed up fashionably late (you’ve chosen to believe Joel’s watch is set two hours back). Meanwhile, their arrival earned a few giggles and stares from your high school friends.
They tried to talk to you about how much hotter Joel and Tommy had gotten while you pretended not to feel the pang of jealousy in your chest whenever they gawked at Joel a little too long.
They asked if you two had hooked up since being back and the only lie you managed to conjure was, “Joel’s either always at work or with my dad, so… I haven’t really been able to try.”
“Wait, does your dad know you two used to hook up?” One of your friends, Bri asked.
Right now you were really regretting telling all those lies…
“No,” you said almost too enthusiastically, “and I plan on keepin’ it that way. Not worth the trouble.”
“Well, if Joel’s not worth the trouble to you then you wouldn’t mind if I gave it a shot, would ya?”
You resisted rolling your eyes, wavering the drink in your hand around and mumbling, “Go ahead.”
“Hey,” another friend said after tapping you on your extended arm, “there’s plenty of fish in the sea. Joel’s just one guy.” She must have noticed the defeat in your eyes.
Maybe to you, you thought.
Before you could respond Bri was sitting back down at your patio table with an embarrassed pout on her face, and for some reason, you were surprised rather than happy (okay, you were a little happy).
“What happened?” You asked.
“He said he’s seeing someone else,” she scoffed. “Do you know if he even likes blondes? Because I can always dye my hair darker.”
You chuckled, “I don’t think he has a preference.”
The rest of them changed subjects so when your eyes went searching for Joel, you found him standing next to your dad at the grill where he was already looking at you wearing a smile. You smiled at him and then turned your focus back to your friends for the remainder of the afternoon.
Once your friends had left for the night and your dad ended up in a game of dice with his buddies, you realized you needed some time to decompress from all the socializing.
Your dad insisted on cleaning up for you the way you always did for him, so you made your way upstairs intending to lie down for a few minutes.
With your back facing the door as you flipped through a magazine Joel was able to sneak into your room; it was the lock clicking that scared you.
“Jesus fucking Christ! Joel!” You gasped while throwing your magazine at him.
He chuckled hoarsely and leaned against the wall with the doorknob sticking into his back.
“Could at least make a little more noise when you’re following me!”
“The more noise we make the quicker we get caught,” he spoke under his breath.
Your eyes were wide as you took the sight of him in; his skin was beautifully tanned from the Texas sun, his biceps straining against his almost too-small t-shirt, and his jeans hung a little lower than usual.
His glossy eyes lingered on yours as he watched you stand up and check him out. He saw the fear on your face morph into lust, increasing as you walked towards him.
“What’chu nervous for?” He teased after watching your hand fidget with your belly button ring.
You barely heard him, thoughts immersing into thoughts of all the things you wanted him to do to you. “Hmm?”
Even as you got closer to him your eyes couldn’t leave the imprints of his muscles effortlessly flexing against his shirt.
“You play with your piercing every time you get nervous,” he told you after you pressed your body against his.
Ignoring his statement, you stared at the shadow of his collarbone and the light layer of hair coating his chest.
“Look at me,” he cooed, yet you only did it for a second, fueling that same attitude he had at the bar.
He tapped underneath your chin more roughly than you liked, almost like a smack.
But when you looked at his face again you saw that darkness you knew you wanted it like that night again, despite your attempts at hiding it.
Joel could always see past your bullshit.
“You like when I’m mean to you, girl?” He asked. You opened your mouth, ready to omit, but he held a warning finger up. “Don’t. Do not lie to me.”
You swallowed the dryness in your mouth and batted your eyes at him before naively nodding your head. “Yeah,” you said. “I didn’t peg you for the mean type.”
His eyebrows raised in amusement, a sly smile tugging at his lips. “No? But you like it?”
“I fucking love it,” you whispered against his wet lips.
You didn’t need to decompress. You needed to unwind.
“I bet you did, rubbing that needy little pussy all over my leg when I was bruising you up all sweet and blue,” he bullied.
Your eyes fluttered shut as your breath left your body, remembering how good it felt for him to punish you. When you looked at him again you saw an egotistical smirk had plastered itself onto his face.
“Problem s’that you didn’t disobey me tonight, so how could I possibly punish you when you were being such a sweetheart? Sayin’ thank you after opening every one of your gifts and offerin’ to help out.“ His tone was sadistic, taunting…
“Well, it is my birthday…” You said grinning. A heat burned through the pit of your stomach and spilled into your panties. “…and no one’s given me my birthday spankings yet.”
He remained quiet opting to run his hands up your arms until they cradled your face, thumbs stroking your lips and cheeks.
“You gonna count ‘em for me?” He whispered without breaking eye contact.
You smirked and kissed him tenderly. “Yes, sir.”
He pointed at your bed where you went to bend over the edge for him.
His boots softly knocked against the hardwood floor as he paced behind you, pondering in his head how he wanted to proceed.
Despite the curiosity that made you want to turn around and ask him questions, you stayed still and quiet until he gave you your first instruction.
“Take your shorts off.”
You reached for the button and zipper before pushing the denim down until it met your knees on the floor. Your hips wiggling more than necessary.
“No panties?” He said amusedly. You heard his body move behind you so that he became eye level with your ass. “You must’a really wanted that present from me tonight, huh?”
You nodded your head and reached under your stomach, using both hands to spread yourself for him. “I’ve been touching myself all weekend thinking about it.”
Joel stifled a moan at the sight of the creamy precum that revealed itself between your swollen lips.
You flinched and yelped at the sudden feeling of his middle finger spreading your cum around your tight hole making him smile.
“Rub your clit f’me, baby,” he rasped.
Licking your lips you rested your head down on the bed before listening to him; your ring and middle fingers rubbed perfect loops on your bud while your pinkie finger kept your cunt spread for his eyes.
He glanced at your ass which was still marked from his abuse nights prior.
“My God, girl… These my bruises?” He asked wanting to hear your submission.
“No one else I’d let do this to me,” you breathed out.
His calloused hands gripped and massaged your butt for a few quiet moments until a firm smack landed on your left cheek.
His touch left your body as he anticipated a verbal response from you but it took too long for you to compose yourself.
You were just so fucking eager for his fingers to dance around your cunt that you made the mistake of forgetting the arrangement that occurred only two minutes prior.
“I don’t hear you countin’, girl,” he warned.
“Shit,” you whispered, “sorry—“
He interrupted you with another smack, only this one landed on your spread lips.
“Ah!” You yelped, quickly burying your face into your sheets. It stung ruthlessly. “One… And two…”
You couldn’t see it, but you felt the mean smirk on his face burning into the back of your skull. “Take too long t’answer me again… You get the rest on that pretty little pussy a’yours. Understand?”
Your knees braced into the floor as you nodded. “Yes, I understand, Joel.”
“Mm,” he hummed grumpily. “Good.��
Smack.
“Three,” you hissed.
Smack.
“Four…”
Smack!
The pain was starting to get to you in the best way possible.
You knew that for the next week anytime you would sit down on your bruised cheeks you’d remember how Joel took care of you in the way you wanted him to.
One spanking in exchange for one orgasm — that’s how you saw it anyway. He wasn’t into unnecessary punishment, but he went into this knowing he’d find a way to make it worth your while however you saw fit.
Joel only dominated you because you dominated him in every other aspect. When it came to sex he lived to serve you. So if 23 spankings is what you wanted, well then… What kind of man would he be to deny you of that?
By the end of the torture, you didn’t even want to think about sitting down for the next two weeks.
Joel saw your reflection in the mirror hanging from your closet, watching those red and puffy lips curl into a beautiful smile.
“Dunno how much longer we got, girl,” Joel grunted as he stood up. “Best make it quick.”
Your eyes softly close and you bite your lip, giggling and moaning at how his southern drawl sounded especially sexy tonight. He noticed how lazily you were acting and laughed.
“You already fucked stupid?” He said with a small smile.
You turned onto your back, hissing at the pressure on your ass but giggling again at his annoyed tone and pursed lips. “Hmm… Maybe.”
Joel opened his mouth to say something but you raised your feet to rub against the growing bulge in his worn jeans. He watched your bottom lip get stuck between your rows of teeth, shining a drunken smile at him.
“You wanna play around, girl?” He flirted, a crooked show of his grin sending chills throughout your body.
“Wanna feel you, deep…” You let out a strained moan, cunt gripping so tight around nothing your precum slid out.
His fingers slid to the bulky strap of his belt and pulled it from his waist so fast it ended with a snap.
“So pretty like this…” He whispered as he sprung his cock free from its restraints.
Your face warmed with blush and your nipples stiffened at the sight of his dick: so hard it only slightly curved to the right, with a red hot angry tip beaming with a thick droplet of precum.
He leveled with your body and slid into you slowly, not wanting to risk making you moan louder than the walls could handle.
“Need you to be quiet for me, baby,” he whispered, “can ya do that f’me?”
Your eyes were shut, lips still between your teeth as you hummed and mewled. You nodded, looping his curls around the webs of your fingers and legs around his soft waist.
A breathy grunt escaped his mouth. His breath hit just below your ear making your skin prickle with goosebumps.
As his hips softly crashed into yours you felt yourself tensing at the sound of people outside and downstairs. You’d managed to forget your father’s friends were still here, and any one of them could walk upstairs to use the restroom only to hear the soft squeak of your bed frame—your father could.
Joel was just so easy to get lost in. His scent, his pretty smile, his touch… The way his tongue lapped at your neck like a cat would milk. How his hands cradled your waist and thighs. When he’d move his head up just for a moment to look into your heavy eyes.
God, you were a fucking mess.
His cock slid effortlessly against your needy walls, pressing deeply into that perfect spot at an angle you’d never felt before. And fucking hell, you wanted to say his name shamelessly. Scream it and plaster it onto the fucking walls if you could.
You did everything in your power to keep quiet, struggling from how your bruised ass stung even more every time his body crashed into you.
Joel bit the meat on your shoulder to shut himself up. His body yearning to fill you up with his precious seed was almost distracting. Almost.
“Doin’ so good f’me, girl,” he whispered into your chest, the pace increasing. “Might need t’cum.”
“Joel,” you whined, not needing anything more. Your fingers tightened in his hair and your head was thrown back into the mess of your blankets.
The knot in your tummy twisted, curling tightly around itself. You let out too loud of a breath that turned into a moan, but nothing too incriminating.
“Do not make me have to pull out and stop, now,” he rasped before taking two fingers and shoving them into your desperately open mouth.
You choked at the surprise but settled down and bit at his knuckles.
His face pressed into one of your tits as another desperate attempt to keep quiet, but all he had to do was feel you cumming to finish himself. Joel’s cock was sensitive and overwhelmed, and despite his best efforts to keep going for the sake of satisfying you he just couldn’t fucking take it.
You pouted and tried to pull him back in after he slipped from inside you to no avail.
“M’sorry, princess,” he huffed, annoyed with himself. “Can’t handle you sometimes.”
You rolled your eyes but saw the disappointment on his face as he buckled his pants back up.
“Just sneak over tonight,” you flirted, “suck me dry.”
He smirked at your coy smile and slid your bottoms back onto your hips. “I’ll do what I can,” he promised.
“Don’t leave me hangin’, cowboy.”
It had been about a week since your birthday, and Joel did indeed sneak over to give you your well-deserved orgasm, give or take three more.
And his real birthday present was a small Eiffel Tower; he had remembered how you’d always wanted to visit Paris. While he wasn’t the most superstitious or spiritual man he said he’d hope it would bring you good luck with traveling for fashion.
Your dad on the other hand had been quite distant since that night and you wondered if he saw or maybe even heard something that gave your little secret away. Your dirty lies. Had they finally caught up to you?
Or were you just overthinking things? Maybe he’s just been moody or tired or in hermit mode. It could have been lots of things, right?
Needless to say, it was a shock when he called you downstairs as soon as you were done with your shower.
“Hey Dad, what’s up?” You asked as you entered the kitchen.
“You tell me,” he grumbled, eyeing you as you sat down.
“Ummm, the apocalypse is happening and flesh-eating monsters are taking over,” you answered sarcastically. When his facial expression didn’t even change in the slightest you stopped joking. “Uh, I…don’t know…”
“Whose shirt is this?”
A dull brown and red flannel was tossed onto the island and you just knew your face gave you away.
“Dad—“
“Don’t lie to me either,” he said between gritted teeth.
Your father already knew it was Joel’s, you knew that. But he always gave you the opportunity to take accountability for your actions. Not like it made him less mad, it just softened the blow.
“Where did you find it?” You asked, voice shaking.
“Yesterday,” he said after some hesitation, “you were at work for your last day. I was doin’ your laundry and there it was, as plain as day.”
You shut your eyes, a tear of embarrassment rolling down your cheek that you wiped away swiftly. “It’s Joel’s.”
“Why is it here?”
You looked at him with eyes that begged for him to not ask, but his face was hardened.
“Because Joel was here,” you reluctantly answered.
“When.”
“A… A few times.”
“Why?!”
The tension was suffocating; you figured you were already caught so you may as well admit to everything—well, not everything if you could help it.
“Because we’ve been seeing each other,” you said softly, leaning your forehead onto your hand. “Since I got back, we’ve been seeing each other. Sometimes I go there, sometimes he comes here.”
“Since you got back?”
You nodded and faced him again, fighting your tears. It wasn’t that you were sad or worried about what your dad may have done, you just wished you were more honest from the start.
“Yeah,” you answered. “I made the first move. I was trying to get over my boyfriend and… He was there… And it just sort of happened.“
“S’good thing you’re going back to New York soon.”
Your heart sank—had your dad forgotten when you said you were thinking of staying in Austin to stay close? Not just for Joel, but everybody. Your family, your friends, you wanted to be near when Sarah graduated. You missed life in Texas, too much to go back to New York State so soon.
“I—I told you I wanted to stay, that I was thinking of staying close,” you rambled, “did you forget?”
“No, I didn’t forget. You’re not allowed to see him anymore. You in New York makes sure that happens.”
“Wh—not allowed?!” You almost laughed. “I’m twenty-five, I make my own decisions.”
“He’s too old for you,” he said.
You scoffed, standing up. “I’m not some mentally incompetent eighteen-year-old, Dad. I’m a grown woman dating a grown man!”
“Not here! Not when you’re living in my house.”
“Well, then I will just fucking move out!”
You ignored his protests and calls for you, feeling like a grounded teenager all over again.
What you and Joel had was fickle, you knew that. You weren’t stupid. It wasn’t built on a foundation, it was hardly dating even though you wanted it to be more.
Your dad would come around someday. Hell, maybe he would have already had you been honest from the start.
“Hey, Sarah, is your dad home?” You stiffly asked.
She frowned at your puffy eyes and red nose, looking over her shoulder before saying, “Uh, n—no, but he’s just runnin’ a bit late from work. Why don’t you come in and wait for him? He should be back any minute.”
“No, that’s okay. I don’t wanna impose. Just tell him to call me when he gets some free time, please?”
“You sure?”
You nodded, not necessarily trusting your voice anymore with how you were choking up from your tears.
Sarah’s shoulders dropped and she insisted you come in. “Come on, it’s starting to rain.”
After a moment of hesitation, you followed her inside after picking your bag up, wiping your nose, and clearing your throat.
Sarah was kind enough to bring you a glass of water, setting it on the coffee table and sitting down a couple of cushions away.
“Are you breaking up with my dad or something?” She asked after a minute or two.
“What?”
“He told me a couple days ago, but I already figured because I heard him talking to you on the phone a while ago. Something about missing you,” she explained.
“I’m sorry, Sarah, I…” You sighed and looked at your hands. “I wish I was there to tell you.”
“No, that’s okay! I think it’s kinda cool. A little weird, but cool.” She assured. “But are you? Breaking up with him, I mean.”
“No, well at least I hope not,” you chuckled softly. “My father isn’t a very forgiving man.”
“He just wants to protect you. My dad said that’s just what fathers do. I’m sure he’ll come around someday.”
“Thanks, Sarah.”
The lock clicks soon followed by the door creaking open; you and Sarah watch as Joel walks in with empty hands before he notices you sitting on his couch. A look of worry spread across his face.
“Everything alright?” He asked.
“Yeah!” Sarah chirped while standing up. “She just came by to see us.” Sarah walked into the kitchen to give you some privacy.
Joel sat next to you and gestured at the ground. “Why do you have a bag?”
“Oh, I’m just going to stay with a friend for a few days,” you said.
He nodded reluctantly, sensing your nervousness. “Your dad find out?”
A wave of sadness took over you again, but you managed your tears away better this time. You only offered a nod, nails picking at a loose thread on your jeans.
“Why don’t you stay the night? I was gonna make steak for dinner.”
“I—I don’t wanna… Impose.”
He chuckled. “What d’you mean impose? You’re my girlfriend.”
Letting out a surprised sound, you frowned and looked around the room incredulously while Joel just stared at you anxiously.
“Girlfriend?”
He shrugged, leaning his elbows onto his knees. “Well. You are my girlfriend, right?”
“You never asked,” you laughed.
His eyes were a mix of amusement and surprise. “My apologies, darlin’. Forgive me for not having been gentleman enough.” He takes your hand earning a laugh from you. “Will you be my girlfriend?”
“You’re so sappy,” you teased before giving him a peck on the cheek. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”
“I dunno what I’m gon’ do,” you said softly.
You and Joel had been in bed for a couple of hours just talking about everything, with Sarah sound asleep in her room; the three of you had watched one of Joel’s favorite movies and Sarah gave him a fixed watch.
You shifted up to rest on your elbow and looked down at him. “How much longer you think he’ll be mad?”
“I don’t know, princess,” he said after sucking his teeth. “He doesn’t tend to hold grudges but I know he’s more mad at me. F’it’s any consolation.”
You let out a weak chuckle and leaned down to kiss him. His hand cupped your jaw just firm enough to keep you still. Your lips tangled with his, fingers reaching up to clasp his curls; he climbed on top of you carefully, humming on the tip of your tongue.
He began to grind and hump eliciting moans from you both while his right hand got to work beneath your shirt, thumbing the nipple just enough to tickle you.
Your hand snaked between your bodies to find the opening of his boxers; you pulled his velvety cock out and pumped it gently whilst not bothering to touch yourself as your panties were already pooling.
Your heart ached with so much pain and at the same time so much love. You needed Joel. In every fucking way possible for as long as you’d be blessed to have him.
His lips broke free from yours to greet your neck, then your collarbone, before planting around your now exposed breast.
You exhaled at his warm tongue swirling saliva around your peaked bud, sending waves of shivers down your arching spine.
“Joel,” you whispered leaning into his gentle touch.
With a throbbing clit and a slippery cunt you felt weak beneath him. You were enamored with pleasure that it overtook your body. You couldn’t control your breathing or your trembling. Hand awkwardly shifting around his shaft.
He took your other nipple into his hot mouth, shirt bunched around your arching neck. With daunting hands he traced the hem of your panties, pulling at them carefully.
He sat on his knees to undress your legs, adjusting so his cock lined up with your entrance. He slid in slowly, knowing the lack of foreplay could ruin this.
But it didn’t.
Your walls burned with a stretch so delicious it set your skin on fire. It took everything in you to not moan as loudly as your body begged to.
A soft gasp only leaving your lips, your head lolling back, eyes clenching shut… Yeah. Joel knew how to fucking work you.
Your walls clung to him fearing even just a moment of loss. His eyes burned into your feverish skin, watching the rise and fall of your chest and stomach as you took in deep breaths.
“You feel so good,” he whispered into your collarbone, placing a sloppy kiss on it afterward. “I lo—“
A pause in his voice made your eyes fly open; his hips stuttered the same way his voice did signaling something was wrong.
Joel’s heart punched against yours, but he kept grinding into you like he hadn’t spoken at all. Oh, but all the worry was written in his eyes.
“Joel?” You softly asked between moans.
He took in the softness of your hands cradling his uneven stubble. He hummed and kissed the meat of your palm before biting it gently.
You fought the nerves in your voice. Everything inside your body screamed that this was wrong, yet as you looked into his eyes your heart swelled with admiration for the man that helped you find pieces of yourself again.
“I love you too,” you finally said.
He stopped moving his body against yours and he just stared at you. He was conflicted with whether or not you said that only because he almost did.
But when you said it again and tightened your legs around his waist to affirm it he gave you a gentle kiss, finding his tongue bumping into yours along the way. Pulling back, Joel finished his sentence.
“I love you.”
“You love me?” You teased.
But his face remained serious, eyes boring into yours.
After a few more silent seconds Joel laid his head into the curve of your neck and began riding into you again. Hips rolling into you, breath hitting your neck, and hands gripping the sheets.
Your body was hot as molten lava, melting into the mattress. Joel felt so safe, so beautifully safe. Safe enough to say, “I love you,” in his ear over and over again, his voice overlapping yours with the same words.
He took care of you that night. Letting you immerse yourself into enjoying every damn thing he gave you. His grunts staggered and turned into short hisses of pain as you bit into his shoulder to keep quiet. That’s what fueled him: the pain of your undying desire.
He reached deeper inside of you than he ever dared to before, reaching reaching reaching to find your soul and bear all commitment to it. To serve you, as his gravelly voice whispered, “I fucking live for you.”
“I love you, Joel,” you responded. “It’s you and me. Forever. Us against the world.” A tear made its way from your eye to his forehead.
He kissed the trail the tear left and repeated you. “Us against the world.”
It was just sex talk — usually is, but Joel always knew what words would just make you fucking cum. Those words dripped from his lips like a poisonous honey for you to lap up and savor.
He wanted you cumming all over his sheets cock to fucking mean something. To permeate his love anywhere it could stain.
Joel had started to cum just a second before you did, forcing him to let out a moan. You held his head to your chest while he cradled your back.
Your head buzzed the same way it would when you got high, only it felt better. Quieter. More immersive. Your back arched into his touch and the rolling of his hips kept you in that limbo. Not here nor there. You were right where you needed to be, whatever that fucking meant.
You managed to keep quiet a little better than him, giggling softly when he just plopped down onto you after you had both come down.
He stayed like that for a few minutes while you just stroked the curls by his ear, his other one listening to your heartbeat slow down.
“I’ll get ya cleaned up,” he cooed, and just as he finished dressing his phone began to ring. He just answered it as he walked to the bathroom, letting you rest some more. A few minutes later, he came back and wiped wherever you asked. “I gotta go help Tommy real quick with somethin’. W’ya stay here, keep an eye and ear out for Sarah?” He asked.
“Yeah, for sure. Be safe.”
You shared a kiss with him again before looking at the alarm clock on his nightstand. Shit. 11:32 PM.
“Joel?” He looked back at you with a raised eyebrow. “Happy Birthday,” you said with a smile.
“Thank you, princess.”
-
taglist: @paleidiot @sarap-77 @mmeereaa (cant tag) @ssweetart42
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httpiastri · 4 months ago
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❣️ I just read your confession post for oscar and others! Can you do it for other drivers like Paul, Ollie, and Kimi? Love your writing! You inspired me to start my own Formula blog :D
❣️ – send me a prompt and one/a few drivers and i'll tell you how i think they would react!!
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paul aron
paul is no stranger to short-lived flings and summer romances, but he's not as familiar with the feeling of his heart fluttering the way it does whenever he thinks about you. he isn't used to the way that he thinks about telling you whenever something good happens to him, nor the way that he wants to ask for your help when he's going through something. he doesn't understand why you're the first thing he thinks about in the morning, and the last thing on his mind before he falls asleep. it takes him so long to figure out these new feelings, and when he eventually realizes that he's falling for you, he just gets scared.
he has no experience with these feelings, and everything he's heard about real relationships – commitment, trust, loyalty – sounds terrifying. but it doesn't take long for him to realize that it's worth it if it's with you.
i think the confession itself would be quite impromptu and unplanned. i'm imagining a movie night at his place, with you cuddled up to his side, when he just can't hold back anymore. when he asks if he can tell you something, he sounds just as playful as he usually does, so you never could've guessed the words that fall from his lips after that. "you're so... special. in a good way, a great way. and i... i think i'm falling for you."
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ollie bearman
i see ollie as... kind of shy in this way? he isn't embarrassed or cowardly, but something in him makes that first real step a little too hard to take. i think ollie would much rather find a romantic, subtle way to do it.
one day, you're surprised to hear your doorbell ringing – you aren't expecting anyone, right? and you didn't order anything, did you? when you open your door, you find only a big bouquet of flowers standing outside it. you smile to yourself as you pick it up, your mind instantly wandering off to the tall, handsome brit you've been spending a lot of time with recently, who has had a bit of a habit of giving you flowers. this bouquet is especially big, though, and you try to search through your mind for any possible major occasion the bouquet could be for as you bring it inside.
but when you set it atop your dinner table, a note falls out from in between the flowers. and on the note, in ollie's messy handwriting, comes that confession you've been waiting so long for.
i like you. i really like you, and i would love to see what we could be. only if you feel the same way, of course. (please forget about all of this if you don't)
i'm sorry for not having the courage to say this to your face, but i would love to see you tonight if you're free. please call me.
sincerely, your bear ☺︎♡
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kimi antonelli
kimi would be very spontaneous about it. he would not be planning it; it would come as just as much of a surprise to him as to you. i see it coming when you're sitting next to each other in class/the truck/etc, and you've been playing around with him and bothering him for quite a while. when you notice that your attempts to disturb his focus haven't worked, you turn to tickle him in hopes that it will work better – and it definitely does.
kimi folds over instantly, gasping loudly as his own hands come down to wrap around your wrists. "you're so annoying!" he exclaims, switching to hold both of your wrists in just one of his hands, as his other hand gives you a playful slap across the face. "you're lucky i like you so much, otherwise..."
you both come to a halt at his words, neither of you having expected them. instead of addressing it, though, he settles for moving his hands to tickle you instead, hoping to distract you from what just happened. you definitely won't forget, though, but the change is only for the better.
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jolenes-doppelganger · 1 month ago
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Windows To the Soul- Kinktober Week Two
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Juliette Nichols x Fem!Reader
MINORS DNI 18+
[Originally labelled 'Mirror, Mirror On the Wall, Who's the Biggest Slut of Them All?]
Summary: An unplanned visit after your abrupt breakup with the Sheriff of the Silo brings unexpected revelations.
Kinks: Mirror sex, post-break-up sex.
A/N: This fic is less explicit smut and more graphic emotion-wise. What is the dirtiest, most sinful thing one can do if not admit they need another? (I am struggling to write the smut and it shows bc everything I write is just SAD).
Word Count: 2.1k
Every breath of air you took in this moment felt woefully inadequate. You couldn’t get a breath in, not a true, full-bellied breath that would soothe the ache in your lungs, relax the tension in your stomach, release the blockage in your throat. Three weeks of no contact, not a single glance in the hallways, and she was back, sitting on your couch like she’d never left. Taking you off guard in your own home. It’s something Juliette would do. The same blonde hair falling out of a too-loose ponytail, unbuttoned uniform and belt loosened to accommodate the natural press of her slouched abdomen against her pants.
“Jules.”
“Shut up.”
You don’t know who moved first, her barreling towards you off of her perch on the couch, you careening forwards and meeting her halfway. Her hands on your back, hips, shoulders, grasping-grabbing-pulling-yanking-cradling-holding all of you. Her mouth smashing against yours, the goddamned whimper she let out. All of the anger and hurt of the break up forgotten in the paroxysm of her body on yours, her mouth tracing hungry patterns wherever it found purchase.
“Jules, wait, please-”
A swipe of her hand over the table, glassware smashing on the floor; the destructive nature of her desires on full display.
“I can’t get you out of my head.” she whispered, nose pressed against your temple and shaky breaths puffing out over the small hairs that clung next to your ear.
That stupid face. Those stupid blue eyes and cocky smirk, the class of glassware.
“Get the fuck off.” you shoved her back, getting off the table.
A perplexed look came over Juliette’s face, her hands raised in mock surrender.
“Sorry.”
“You would be.” you snapped. 
The broken glass littered the already well worn linoleum. Another mess, another headache Juliette brought upon you. Neither of you spoke a word as you swept the broken glass into a pan, putting it in a bag for now.
“I should’ve slapped you.” you mumbled, not quite meaning it.
Juliette raised her brows, shaking her head dismissively. Her thumbs worked circles over the fabric where they perched out of her pockets, adding to the sheepish posture.
“Yeah, well sex with your ex is supposed to be cathartic.” she sighed.
“Not if you ended on bad terms.” you snapped.
Juliette shrugged, using your less than furious response as a cue to push forwards a little more. One step closer towards you at a time, slowly invading your personal space.
“It was a short fling, I didn't think I needed an explanation for leaving.”
Her reasoning was nothing short of inadequate. A fling, a minor dance of passion between two people who were just in the same place at the right time. Until it was the wrong time. But it hadn’t been, not in your eyes. Realizing she had never really gotten over George well enough to love another had been a hard pill to swallow, one you’d only managed recently.
“You know, you really should’ve made it clear that you weren’t planning on staying.” 
Looking at her was an awful mixture between painful and infuriating. You busied yourself with the dishes instead. They’d been soaking long enough, it was a matter of draining the water and actually washing them. Such an act conveniently coincided with having the excuse to avoid looking at her.
“Listen, I get that you’re upset that I wasn’t upfront about what I wanted, but no one ever is, so…” Jules shrugged, watching as you dove headfirst into the nearest task.
“Doesn’t excuse the fact that you just up and left. Lead me on… Flirted, teased, even hinted at something more in the future. Kind of like how George did to you.”
Juliette let out a groan of anger, turning on her heel and running a hand over her scalp in the anxious-avoidant motion she was so fond of.
“Founders be damned, are we just going to sit here and trade barbs all day?” she huffed. “I have enough shit going wrong for me, I don’t need you-”
“Oh you're still entitled to me?” you snapped. “Pretty mature of you, slinking back for a less than underhanded attempt at trying to fuck me.”
Juliette spun on her heel, now facing you. Her jaw quirked to the left, mouth working its way into a grimace. Again she smoothed her hair, hands stilling on her hips.
“I came because I wanted to apologize, and then you came in with your business casual shirt all rumpled, and in that damn skirt that just hugs your body, so yeah, maybe I got a little side tracked.”
There was nothing you could say to that. It wasn’t an insult, but it wasn’t exactly a compliment. She’d left emotional baggage and pain the same way George had left it with her. A cute little cycle, but not one you excused her from. Soap was up to your upper arms, each dish scrubbed beyond what was really necessary to get it clean, but it was better than outright hurling something at her.
“Listen, I do miss some things, it just… For so long I didn’t know what I wanted, and now I do. And it’s not here, not with you, as wonderful as you are…” she choppily advocated, taking slow steps forwards until she was just short of touching you.
“As wonderful as I am you’re an asshole who wanted someone to fuck and hold you close while you were going through your shit. There’s a word for it, and it’s called a rebound. Shittiest thing you could ever do to a person, honestly.”
A long sigh crested over your shoulder, close enough to tickle the back hairs of your neck. Her arms snaked forwards, resting lightly on the swell of your hips. 
“Crawling back to you isn’t what I was planning, but I can’t resist another go…”
An arm snaked around your front ready to pull you back towards her, to snag you and pull you towards another hook up you knew you’d regret.
“Just one more time, for the fun of it…” Juliette whispered, breath climbing over your ear, attempting to lure you into a yes.
Anger welled up again, and this time you had a sink full of soapy water and a small pot to work with. Turning on your heel, you doused her front with several cups of warm dishwater. Juliette looked down at her clothes, and then you. 
“I have the maturity problem? Yeah right.” 
She reached in the sink, using a bowl to douse your work clothes in that same water. You smacked her with the damp dish towel, she snapped your ass. The two of you fought like children, splashing each other with water until both of you were wetter than not. A particularly violent toss of water caused your frictionless shoes to slip on the linoleum, causing you to careen back. The plastic cup fell against the floor, your body careening down towards the ground. Two hands reached outward, gripping your shoulders. Juliette let out a yelp, losing traction as well. You both crashed against the floor in a mess of limbs. Her elbow against your ribs, her chin clacking shut as her jaw cracked against your shoulder.
Both of you groaned, each more than a little sore. Juliette adjusted her body over yours, staring down at you, laid upon the linoleum with water lining the floor around you. Her head blocked the main light of the kitchen, creating a small halo around her head as she looked down upon you with more than a fair degree of concern. Neither of you broke the silence. Doing such a thing would be precarious, shattering the subtle tranquility of the moment. She settled above you, elbows on either side of your face. 
When she leaned down you didn’t push her away. Her body was warm, seeping through the damp cloth of her soaked uniform. You swore you could still feel the familiar dip and swell of her muscular back, and as your hands traced the line of her spine, you found the familiar divot at the base, hiding just under where her belt sat. Juliette, to her credit, was far more cautious in her next attempt. Soft kisses graced your cheeks, her fingers just lightly tracing the hair above your ears.
“Yes?” she whispered.
“Since we’re both here…” you softly replied, a squeeze to her back to affirm that subtle consent.
Juliette hummed once, hands sliding under your torso, pulling you up and off of the wet floor. Her hand cradled the back of your head, soothing pressure overwhelming the dull ache from where your skull had made contact with the ground. To have Juliette be this soft with you spoke to her inner guilt, a phenomena you’d witnessed many times after she vented to you about George. But you wouldn’t complain. Not when she was pulling you up, cradling you to her like a small child, carrying you away, out of the kitchen, towards the bathroom. 
As your feet touched the ground, she caught your chin, pressing a soft kiss there. A reassuring kiss, probably the only real intimacy you’d get out of this experience. Her mouth found your neck, wetter, meaner, hungrier kisses working slow patterns down, her calloused hands undoing the zipper of your skirt, the buttons of your blouse. Your own hands shook as you undid her uniform. Belt clanging to the floor with her slacks, uniformed button up shrugged off in the same manner you’d watched countless times. Neither of you could speak at this moment, neither of you dared. Words could ruin this moment, would ruin it. 
By the third time her lips crashed against yours you were finally bold enough to reciprocate, mouth slackening as her tongue slipped past your lips. She had the smallest hint of coffee breath, the one beverage you were sure she consumed regularly. Juliette lived on coffee, she depended on it in ways you knew to be worrisome. But when that coffee-breath stained tongue touched yours, it was a comfort. A spark of assurance in an otherwise vague moment. Her hands slipped to your back, yanking off your bra, blunt nails digging in with the desperation of her jerky moments. You both kicked off your shoes as you finished pulling off your panties. A push into the shower, that was all the direction she gave.
Cold water shocked your flushed skin as she turned the water on, body pressing against yours as she desperately kissed you against the shower wall. A quick glance to the long mirror in the bathroom confirmed the sight. Juliette’s hands tracing your hips, her mouth tracing desperate patterns on your neck. You didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop. You’d wear turtlenecks for a month if that’s what you needed.
“Jules, look at me, please.” you broke the rhythm of the moment, trying to catch her gaze.
“I am.” she whispered.
Her gaze slipped to your right, and you turned, following it. Blue-steel eyes meeting yours in the slightly foggy mirror. You turned, still making that eye-contact as her hands slipped around you from behind. One hand down, parting your labia. The other cupped your left breast, thumb drawing circles over the pebbled flesh. 
You didn’t watch her hands as they stimulated you, fingers dipping inside, thumb tweaking your clit. You felt that. But all you saw were those blue eyes overrun with emotion. A white-hot throbbing erupted in your chest, complimenting and growing alongside the burning ache in your core. The sounds you both made, the way you moaned, the desperate whines she let out as she watched you climb higher, it was all background. Center stage were those blue eyes, heavy and burdened. 
One climax, then two. Your legs gave out, the two of you collapsing in the bathtub. You kissed hungrily, devouring her tongue, her lips, her breath. As her thigh made contact with your cunt, hers pressed against the complimentary thigh. And as you rocked together, you felt that grief.
The small little stuffed animal she kept in her bedroom, the books she had on her shelf. The way she left all of her socks inside out to ensure she didn’t put them on with a hair inside. The nose scrunch, the awkward bug-eyed look she sported most of the time.
“Please stay.” you whispered, your hands splaying over her back.
Juliette leaned down, her forehead pressed against yours. One loud whine and she came undone. Her body slouched over yours in the bathtub, the shower going cold as the water pounded down around you. Juliette’s breathing evened, nose finding that familiar crook in your neck and just nuzzling.
Tags: @ilovehotactresses @marvelwomenrule @midnight-lestrange
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starqueensthings · 2 years ago
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I was going to wait to post this until Mama Echo Monday, but fck it. Happy Star Wars Day, Pals!
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Pairing: GN!Reader x Echo. No mention of Reader’s appearance/gender (with the exception of "an unladylike grunt" mentioned once to describe exertion). 
POV: 2nd person, 4641 words.
Summary: Echo and SquadMedic!Reader share their first kiss after he makes an unplanned trip to the MedBay.
Warnings: Slightly whumpy as Echo gets injured while completing some ship repairs, mentions of blood and medical procedures (stitches specifically), mentions of Echo's traumatic past, mentions of the anxieties he deals with regularly now in regards to medical treatment. 
Rating: SFW, fluffier than a fkn cotton ball
A/N: I am not a doctor. I’m not even close to a doctor. I don’t know if any of the medical words/references make any sense but I did my best with the tools I had LOL 
Huge thank you to the always incredible @staycalmandhugaclone for beta reading, your time and feedback was so appreciated. 
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You hummed quietly along to the song warbling from the radio in the corner as you flattened the last of the dozen cardboard boxes that had, up until this morning, housed the carefully packaged restock of your MedBay supplies. Hunter had long since asked you to start keeping the empty boxes, as they worked well for kindling and the squad had taken to settling down after missions with a bonfire wherever possible. But storing bulky boxes in your already cramped closet of a MedBay had proven a challenge in itself, as the only method for storing such clutter was to have them sandwiched tightly between the wall and the arm of your bulky treatment chair. 
“Don't get stressed, it's gonna get figured out…” you sang to yourself. The fluffy pop song filling the quiet corners of the room was not your regular cup of tea, but was surprisingly successful at pulling a small wiggle from your hips, and the occasional snap from your dusty fingers. “Deep conversations at the Waffle House...” You sashayed across the room to the beat of the song, heading towards the wall of cabinets opposite the door.  
“But you knowwwww it’s always love,” you chorused, holding an invisible microphone in front of your mouth with your right hand, while your left latched each of the cupboards closed. 
The clunk clunk of approaching heavy footsteps (the kind that could only belong to the large metallic feet of Echo) were masked by the reverie that the radio always seemed to put you in, and you were momentarily deaf to everything else.
“Um… Mesh’la? Mesh’la?”
A sudden sharp intake of breath tugged heavily at your throat as your body jerked in surprise. You spun around towards the door, ready to adorn the person who’d induced your cardiac arrest with the most vehement glare you could muster… but the distress on the face of the man slumped in the doorway wiped every ounce of ire from your mind immediately.
“Sorry,” Echo mumbled from the doorway where he had paused. “I didn't mean to scare you.” 
The urge to clamp your hand over your thundering heart was immediately robbed from you as your eyes registered his visible torment, and his even more obvious need for medical attention. “Maker,” you hissed, your eyes widening and your lips parting. 
“So it is that bad...” he grumbled, correctly reading the shock on your face and triggering his shoulders to sag. 
You closed the space between you in a brisk walk, your brows knitted tightly in concern and focus. Echo had his hand clamped over his right cheek, though the pressure he was applying from his palm was nowhere near enough to stem the flow of blood now cascading down his jaw and dripping onto his chest plate. 
“Let me see,” you instructed gently, wrapping your fingers around his wrist and slowly tugging his arm downwards.
You had no choice but to ignore the loop-de-loop that your heart did in your chest as a result of your contact with his skin; Echo had had that effect on you from the get-go. For obvious reasons (and not), he was unlike any man you’d ever come across before. Sure, his cybernetics and past experiences made him unique enough as an individual, but it was more than that. He had a distinctive, polite sort of grace about him; a warmth that emanated from deep in his person that you’d never encountered before. There was just something about the way his eyes seemed to caress your features as he listened to you ramble about whatever topic it was that you needed to vent about that particular day; something about the way that his smile tugged just a little more on his left cheek than his right when Wrecker got him laughing hard enough; something about the little smirk on his lips, and nod of his head that he sent your way every morning before he was awake enough to voice a greeting.
Simply having him in close proximity somehow simultaneously calmed and excited you, wiping your mind of all coherent thought, while your heart was jolted into overdrive. It was particularly bad in the moments like this one where your skin brushed against his, as your body always seemed to take it as a cue to throw composure out the window, doping your blood with enough hormones to make your hands tremble. And then there was the fact that time did not seem to be a concrete concept when you two were together; you could have happily spent a continuous decade passing tool after tool over his shoulder as he patched up the ship, or three weeks collecting firewood from the nearby forest, or simply reading side by side in the cockpit chairs.
You cleared your throat quietly, trying to rid your insides of the butterflies that had launched into a fluttering dance routine at his touch, so you could focus on his injury. “Tech told me to come see you,” Echo mumbled through an expression laced with fear as his arm fell to his side. “He said something about a flap being ‘full thickness’?”
Now free from the pressure of his palm, the laceration on his cheek began to leak freely the moment it was exposed. Barely a breath later saw your fingertips quickly cloaked in the same red carnage that had seeped through the cracks of his own fingers. As you gently pulled at the loose overhang of skin, you reached around to the waist pouch on your lower back, yanked the zipper open, and deftly retrieved a handful of sterile gauze packs. With a quick rip of the paper packet, you unfolded a fresh square of linen and immediately pressed it against his cheek. He winced lightly against the pain of the pressure you applied, but did not pull away from your touch.  
While one left hand continued to hold the gauze in place against the warmth of his oozing cheek, your other reached for his elbow, pulling on it gently until he took a step forwards through the threshold of the door and into the MedBay. Somewhat awkwardly, as you were walking backwards and at a drastically reduced speed, you guided him towards the treatment chair and sat him on the worn albeit squashy cushion on the seat (an addition you incorporated upon first seeing the cold and rigid equipment).
“What in the name of Mandalore’s moon happened to you?” you asked him, reaching for his hand again and gesturing for him to hold the gauze in place for you.
He swallowed with apparent difficulty, his eyes flickering anxiously around the room, glaring at each piece of diagnostic equipment mounted on the walls around him. The MedBay was Echo’s least favourite area of the ship, and he had already apologetically admitted that he only visited it when he absolutely needed to. “The machines and stuff kinda freak me out,” he had divulged quietly halfway through the generic physical you had put him through shortly after you joined the squad.
Thanks to your research and the details in his medical chart, you were well aware before joining the crew that he had had several limbs replaced by cybernetic machinery in the past, but it wasn’t until several weeks after, in a whispered night-watch conversation on the ramp of the Marauder, that Hunter explained how… and why. Echo’s recurring MedBay anxiety, or the “Med Dreads” as you had comically labeled it since, became immediately validated and unspokenly understood.
“Your cheek, hun. What happened?” you probed again when he failed to answer you, deliberately keeping your tone light and warm as it usually helped diminish his anxiety.  
“I… uh… got cut.” He answered your question in a mumble, forcing the lump of anxiety down his throat for a second time and sending you a fleeting glance.
“Well I can see that, Captain Obvious,” you quipped with a smile and a small eye roll as you took the saturated material out from under his hand and replaced it with a fresh one.
After tossing the used fabric into the biohazardous waste bin beside the chair, you reached around your waist into the pouch again, this time retrieving the travel sized bottle of your go-to wound disinfectant: a neon orange effervescent solution that smelled strongly like iron, and worked remarkably well at cleaning superficial wounds with minimal pain. You held the gauze over the opening in the bottle and tipped it upside down thrice. Once satisfied with the level of saturation, you screwed the lid back on and returned the bottle to your pouch.
Your fingers wrapped tenderly around his wrist again, tugging it away from his cheek and collecting the soiled linen from his fingers. The bleeding had almost entirely subsided, blood now seeping out from under the flap of skin in droplet form, as opposed to the crimson river it had been when he first walked in.
“It’s… it’s Corporal.”
Had you not seen his lips move out of the corner of your eye, his murmur of words would have been completely lost amongst the incoherent chatter of the radio hosts.
“Pardon?” you asked him, stopping the movements of your hands to give him your undivided attention.
You were surprised to see a small smile begin to tug at the corners of his mouth as he turned his gaze back to you. “It’s Corporal,” he repeated. “Corporal Obvious.”
The upswing in his demeanor took you by surprise, momentarily blanking your mind of a response as a smile worked its way across your own face. You peered into his twinkly eyes for a breath of a moment, basking in the warmth that they smothered you in every time that they fell on you. “Oh, my apologies, sir…” you chirred with a smirk, resuming your careful wiping motions across his injured cheek. “Apparently you’re Corporal Funnyguy today, too.”
A small laugh left his nose in something of a soft snort, triggering the butterflies in your stomach to resume their tortuous, internal flap-about. Your cheeks began to burn as the echo of his laugh; you loved when he laughed, particularly if it was you that had managed to pull it out of him.  
In an effort to keep the giddy smile off your face, you bit down on the insides of your cheeks, deliberately keeping your eyes away from his until you could regain your composure. After discarding the gauze in your hands, you turned your attention back to the laceration on his cheek, prodding it gently and tugging on each end to observe its reaction to various degrees of tension. Now that the area was cleaned of the carnage, the injury was thrown into sharp relief, and you were internally grateful you’d removed the mirror from this room months ago. Echo was a tough cookie but was notoriously squeamish with blood and injuries, and whatever it was that had cut him, left a clean albeit deep wound, extending from his cheekbone outwards to his ear.
“Hmm,” you hummed, placing your hands on your hips and wiggling your nose as you thought about the best method to close the wound. “It’s definitely full thickness, unfortunately,” you intoned. “I’ll have to E-Mag stitch it, hun.”
His shoulders sank dramatically, and a heavy sigh left his mouth as he tipped his head back in exasperation. You swallowed against the sadness and empathy building in your chest, placing what you hoped was a calming hand on this shoulder. He nibbled gently on his bottom lip before looking back at you, his eyes now framed with small creases of suppressed fear and contempt. 
“Can’t you just use a bacta patch?” he asked you, failing to entirely stifle the desperate plea in his tone. “Or some of that fancy tape you have?” His eyes darted around the room again, this time almost frantically, as if visually finding the tape would be enough to convince you to use it, but his silent petitions were met with nothing but a poignant shake of your head. The inevitable, and likely infinite, list of alternatives he was sure to propose, as he so frequently had in the past, were no match for the dismissive explanation waiting patiently on your tongue.
“Echo, hun, we've been over this before. Bacta is a great tool, but it isn’t the end-all and be-all.” You spoke quietly, trying to catch eye contact again by shifting your weight and tipping your head until your face was in his line of sight. “The laceration is deep into the epidermal layer, and skin always heals from the bottom upwards. If we put a patch on, it will limit the amount of breathing your wound can do while it’s healing, and the chance of forming a compound infection increases pretty drastically.”
You watched the ghosts of unvoiced arguments shift his expression as he turned his face away from you again, his amber eyes flickering back and forth between the rebuttals that only he could hear; sorting through the rolodex of bargaining chips in his mind, searching for anything to help him obtain a fast pass out of this chair, and away from the prospect of foreign tools near his body. But despite the crease between his heavy brows deepening to that of dark chasm, he remained quiet, the only motions of his mouth being the mollifying nibble of his bottom lip.  
“I promise, once the stitches dissolve, we’ll put some bacta gel on to prevent scarring, and you’ll never know it happened,” you offered warmly, standing up straight and retracting your hand from his shoulder. “But for now, I’ll give you a pain injection to numb the area and you won’t feel a th—”
“No pain injection,” he interrupted, snapping his head around to stare at you. 
You stifled your sigh just enough for it to leave your mouth as nothing more than a poignant exhale drenched in sympathy. “Echo,” you started, cowering only slightly under the intensity of his stare. “We've been over this too. You know the stitcher is more uncomfortable than the injector. It'll be more comf—”
“No injection. I don’t need it, or want it.”
“Come on, Corporal Toughguy,” you pleaded, hoping that adding a dash of humour to the situation might soften his refusal. “I’m a whizz with the injector, ask anyone! And you can even load the vial yourself, if you want, so you know exactly what’s going in—” 
“Still no, and always no.”
He crossed his arms over his chest and challenged your pleading eyes with the flick of a dark eyebrow, wordlessly reinforcing that this was a battle you were not going to win, and he would out-stubborn you into the ground. Little did he know, the intensity of his warm eyes directed at you so piercingly, had almost entirely diminished your resolve, and a smile was working its way back across your face before you could stop it. 
“Fine,” you conceded, sticking your tongue out at him fleetingly before turning around and stepping away from the exam chair.
With an unladylike grunt, you retrieved the heavy durasteel case that held the E-Mag stitcher from one of the lower cabinets on the opposite wall. The Republic Cog logo on the lid was almost entirely faded from the constant friction of your hand opening and closing it, but the tool inside was measuredly kept in good repair. With the prod of the button, you brought the stitcher to life while simultaneously doing your best to hide the tool behind your back as you crossed the room towards where Echo sat watching you.  
His glazed eyes focused again as you approached, flickering only fleetingly to your hidden hand before another heavy sigh stole over him. You steeled yourself against the dread building inside of you, reminding yourself that your discomfort in this moment was nothing compared to his, and despite the awareness that you were about to cause him moderate to significant physical and emotional pain, this treatment was necessary.
“You sure no pain injection, hun?” you asked him when you returned to his side.   
“I’m sure,” he answered with a stoic nod.
“But are you sure sure? For sure, sure?”
“I’m sure sure… for sure… sure?” he answered slowly, his eyes narrowing slightly as his lips curled into a smile. “Maker, that word sounds weird when you say it so many times.”
A huff of a laugh poured from your mouth as you nodded. “I did that to Tech the other day too,” you said with a grin. “I somehow got him to say ‘tinkle’ three times in a row and I think he almost had a seizure.”
Another laugh forced Echo’s injured cheek upwards, though you were pleased to see the creases around his eyes were momentarily free of pain and tension. The look of neutrality, hell even joy on his features was a welcome change to the subdued and forlorn demeanor that the Med-Dreads drowned him in.   
You know you let your eyes linger on him for just a little too long, but you couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same euphoric pull towards you, that you were feeling towards him in the span of that shared laugh. Father Time had launched into his usual cruel tricks the second that Echo’s crinkled eyes met yours, and suddenly moments could have been hours; years could have been seconds; an eternity could have passed and you wouldn’t have known, for his eyes on you made everything around you make sense, and at the same time, irrelevant.
“Let’s get this over with,” he grumbled, apprehension ghosting behind his eyes as he clutched the armrest of the chair tightly in his pallid hand. 
“Okay,” you answered in a determined whisper, gathering the remains of your resolve, and finally pulling the E-mag stitcher from behind your back. 
The wad of boxes wedged between the chair and the wall was, unfortunately, precisely where you needed to stand to hold the stitcher at the optimal angle, but you had no intention of delaying or drawing out Echo’s torture any longer than necessary. Eager to start and to finish so that he could be free of the mental and physical turmoil, you opted to lean across his body instead. You heard his breath hitch in his chest as you stepped in between his knees and leaned into his space, but whether his alarm was triggered from the feeling of your body against his, or the fear that enveloped him upon seeing the stitcher, you were not sure. 
“Just keep your eyes on me,” you instructed him, giving him one last smile before turning your attention to his cheek.
And he did. And it almost killed you. Watching his eyes water and his muscles tense with each stitch that you guided the tool to feed through his skin sent a wave of guilt and remorse crashing through your stomach to the point where you began desperately searching your brain for something to distract him with. 
“I think I’m going to try and get Hunter next,” you declared after the 6th stitch had wracked his tense features with another wince. You paused, offering him the moment of pain-free peace that he refused to verbalize. “What should I try and get him to say? Something attainable... but I kinda want to be on the raunchy side. Any ideas?”
“Hmm,” Echo considered after a long, slow exhale. “How about something like nipple?”  
“Nipple!” you chortled. “That’s perfect.”
“It’ll be hard to get him though,” he added against another wince as the tool in your hand threaded another stitch through his skin. “He’s too aware. You’ll have to get him nice and distracted first.”
“Kinda sounds like you’ve done this before,” you suggested quizzically, glancing over at him and cocking an eyebrow.
Echo shrugged a shoulder and let the ghost of a smirk work its way across his lips. “My brother and I had some prankster tendencies back in the day,” he answered cryptically. “Though he was a natural at it, so I always took his lead.”
“Tell me about him,” you probed, grateful for the opportunity of a lengthy and important topic; one that might be enough to steal his awareness from the present pain that you were putting him through.
A surprisingly sad sounding sigh left his mouth as he closed his eyes, his nostrils flaring slightly against unspoken thoughts. “Maybe another day,” he eventually mumbled with a small grimace.
Every cell in your body urged you to protest; to argue with him; to reassure him that you truly did want to know everything about the brother that he only ever mentioned fleetingly; to remind him that you would eagerly listen, with open ears, for as long as he was willing to talk, like he had done for you only countless occasions. But you couldn’t bring yourself to force him into anything at this moment; not while he was already uncomfortable... already desperate to escape this room and the pain you were putting him through.
You sighed quietly to yourself, making a mental note to prompt again later, and pushed the 11th stitch into place.
“Okay, deal,” you answered. “Maybe you and I can take down Hunter as a team? I’ll bring nipples up in a conversation because, let’s be honest, it’d be weird coming from you… but you’ll have to think of a way to get him to say it multiple times.”
“Deal,” he agreed with eyes clamped shut. “What about Cross? Have you managed to get him, yet?”
“No,” you grumbled audibly and dramatically. “I can’t even get him to say one word, let alone the same word repeatedly. I don't think he likes me much to be honest...”
“Nah, it’s not that,” Echo assuaged, opening his eyes again and directing them on to you. “We all love you. Crosshair’s just a severe guy. It takes him a little longer to show his colours than everyone else.”
“Yeah well… so far the only colours I’ve seen of his are ‘snipey’ and ‘cranky’,” you chuckled, shifting your weight slightly so you could rest your elbow on his shoulder. “Oh… and ‘morning-breathy’.”
Pride welled inside of you as Echo laughed again, his chest vibrating below yours with every snicker that left him.
“He does have bad morning breath,” he agreed with a grin. “Not as bad as Wreck though. He could kill a man with that toxic morning gas.”
“Good thing Tech has the cabin ionizer on full blast at night or I think we’d all be dead.”
“That’s why he has it on full blast at night.”
Two things happened in the subsequent moment of shared laughter: you pushed the final stitch through his skin, but before a suppressed sigh of relief could even think about leaving your mouth, Echo’s hand shifted from the arm of the chair and landed gently on your side. He placed it there so softly that, in any other moment, you may have been able to shrug it off as an unprovoked shift of your waist pouch, but being so close to him had increased the sensitivity in your skin- in your very awareness, and there was no denying that was his hand clasped timidly, yet purposefully on your clothed rib cage.
You froze, turning your head slowly to face him. His eyes were fixed on you, and his face donned an expression that you’d never seen on him before: a juxtaposed blend of confidence and apprehension. You slowly straightened up, the breath in your lungs stalling as you watched his eyes dart from your left eye to your right.
You could have sworn you had heard music playing mere seconds ago, but it didn’t seem like your mind was presently able to register anything other than the sound of your heart pounding in your ears. You could have sworn you were just laughing about something… but that couldn’t be true, as there was absolutely nothing inherently comical about the way he was looking at you, nor did there seem to be any air left in your lungs to spare on laughter.
“Thank you,” he breathed, using the gentle hand on your side to pull you a fraction of an inch closer to him.
“For… for what?” you somehow managed to ask.  
Hesitation stilled him for only a moment, his cheeks flushing slightly as his eyes darted back and forth between yours again. “For being… you. For being so... you know... awesome.”
If the butterflies rearranging your internal organs like furniture wasn’t enough to end you right then and there, then the addition of his gentle touch under your chin would certainly have been your demise. Tingles radiated from the place where his finger rested on your skin. Your hands, still limply holding the stitcher at your side, began to tremble in anticipation as a force more powerful that gravity pulled you closer and closer to him. Your lips parted slightly as his gaze darted between your eyes again. 
“Can I kiss you?” he whispered against your lips.
“Yes,” you breathed, your eyes fluttering closed.
A cannon went off somewhere in the depths of your stomach as his lips brushed against yours, testing the waters of your approval; offering you the opportunity to pull away if you wanted, but there was simply nothing else in the entire galaxy that you’d rather be doing. There was simply no better feeling than this; than transferring every ounce of desire in your body into his through means of a kiss.
You pressed your lips more firmly against his, deepening the kiss while the stitcher fell to the floor at your feet with a clunk that no one heard… forgotten, irrelevant.  As he probed your lips further apart, your right hand snaked its way up his chest to cup his jaw just below his ear. His hand returned to your side, brushing his thumb tenderly against your ribs, as his tongue made a hesitant entrance into your mouth. You welcomed it immediately, pushing your chest right up against his, impervious to the uncomfortable rigidity of his armour.
“This does not seem an appropriate treatment protocol for a level 2 subdermal laceration.”
You and Echo broke apart immediately, both of you turning deer-in-the-headlight’s expressions to the door where Tech stood wide eyed and slack jawed in the threshold. Echo blushed and hung his head to his chest, as a nervous giggle left your lips.
“Um…” you started, your mind frantically searching for a valid excuse as to why you and Echo had just been unceremoniously draped all over one another, all the while somewhat distracted by the large smears of engine oil across Tech’s forehead. “Well I stitched him first… and then… shifted focus...” Tech deadpanned you, his expression unreadable, and his magnified eyes blinking intermittently behind the lenses of his smeared goggles. 
“What was your method of choice?” he eventually asked you, when not even the radio in the corner could puncture the awkward silence in the room.
“S-sorry?” you stuttered. Echo scratched his nose in your peripheral vision but you refused to look at him, lest you return to pieces and pounce on him again.
“What was your chosen method for the laceration repair?” Tech clarified, shifting his goggles on his nose.
“Oh… um. The Electro Magnetic stitcher. It was full thickne—”
“Then I was correct in my initial diagnoses. Good for me.”
He turned and left without another word, his gaze immediately redirected back downwards to the datapad clutched in his dirty hands.
When the sounds of his footsteps faded to nothing, you finally risked a glance back at Echo. His smirking face pulled an embarrassed smile from you immediately, but his eyes remained locked on you as he stood up and reached for your hand.
“Come on,” he spoke quietly, interlacing his fingers with yours and pulling you towards the hallway. “Let’s go for a walk.”
.
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littlelalu · 2 months ago
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Unplanned Encounters (Part 2) {Smut}
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 NOTE: Hello everyone! I ended up taking a little longer than I should have on my midterm after work yesterday. I knocked out early. Here is the post I promised :) Have a great day!
Y/N = Your name
~~~ at his hotel room ~~~
Milo unlocked his door to his hotel room and let me go in first. It was pretty huge for a hotel room. It had a small kitchen and a dining area.
“You can set your stuff down on your bed there” he said pointing at a neatly done bed.
“Thanks again Milo… for everything. You've been a great help.”
“Anything to help you out.”
I smiled at him. “Can I use your shower? I want to wash away the smell of alcohol on me.”
“Haha, sure. It's right there. Do you have comfy clothes for the night?”
I always have a backpack with extra clothes in my car. I'm glad I had it tonight. I checked my backpack tonight and I only had a set of day clothes (blouse and pants), undies, bra, and socks.
“No really… I can just sleep in the clothes I have right now.”
“Hold on.” He said and walked over to his luggage. He pulled out one of his black shirts. He came to hand it over to me. “You can use this shirt. “
“Thank you. I will be right back” I grabbed the rest of my stuff and went to go shower.
~~~ After Shower~~~
As I got dressed, I noticed how long Milos' shirt is on me. I meant we do have a height difference so it makes sense. I brushed my teeth right after. I unlocked and opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom.
I began walking towards my bed, feeling like I was being stared at.
I turned around and saw Milo in the kitchen with his mouth open. I noticed he had different clothes on. Just some sweats and a white shirt. He looked hot.
“What? Are you okay?” I asked him
He closed his mouth and started to blush “Yeah.. umm.. You look beautiful in my shirt.”
Now he's making me blush, “Thank you.”
“Do you want anything to drink or eat?” he asked
“Just some water.” I said as I walked over to my bed. I got in the blankets and got comfy.
He got me some water from the fridge and handed it over to me. He laid down on his bed and did the same as me.
We talked for a bit more before we drifted off to sleep.
~~~ A few hours later, 2AM ~~~
I woke up from a nightmare I had. It was basically a repeat of when I caught Michael with the girl in our bed.
I tried going back to bed, but I was just tossing and turning.
“Y/N?” I heard a deep and raspy voice ask.
Sh. “Yeah. Sorry. I can't sleep.”
“It's fine. Nightmare?”
“Yeah. About when I caught him cheating..” I said softly.
He turned on the light from the lamp next to him and walked over to my bed. Since I was still laying down, I was looking up at him.
“You’re gonna be alright. Trust me”
“I know. I just can't forget it yet.”
“May I?” He said as he slightly raised my blanket.
I nodded and scooted over a little bit.
He got under the blanket with me. He pulled me closer to him. He was cuddling me. How does he smell so good all the time?
“It will take time for you to move on from this, but its okay to feel hurt.” He said as he looked down at me.
“I wish I could forget about it now.”
“Give it some time, Y/N. He should be the one feeling like sh. How could he lose a girl like you?”
“A girl like me?”
“Yeah. I just met you tonight, but you are really amazing. I feel like I know you so well.”
I looked down shyly for a bit. I felt his hand on my chin and he made me look at him.
“You’re a wonderful girl, Y/N. I'm sorry he didn’t see that.”
Looking at him at his big brown eyes, I felt like I was melting. He also has a way with words. He began leaning towards me, I closed the gap between us, making our lips brush against each other. We ended up kissing.
Every negative thought I had from the least 24 hours went away. I felt butterflies in my stomach. I have never felt like this with a kiss. Not even michaels.
Milo quickly pulled away.
“Oh my god. I'm so sorry. I swear I wasn’t trying to take advantage of you.”
“Milo, it's okay… It was good.” I admitted.
I put my hand on his cheek, started to lean towards him. Our faces were close.
“Y/N… Are you sure you're okay with this?” Milo asked as our lips brushed against each other again.
“Yes..” I whispered.
He immediately kissed me again, placing one hand on my waist. My hands found his hair. I tugged it lightly. I heard him groan against our lips. I felt his hands exploring my body. He started to kiss my neck.
“M-Milo.” I moaned. He stopped kissing me and pulled me on top of him. He pulled my shirt over me. Exposing my bra. 
“Fuck…”  He started to undo my bra. He tossed it on the side of the bed. He began touching my breast. Massaging it and pinching my nipples. “You’re so hot, Y/N”
I rocked my hips against him. He groaned. He started to suck my left nipple. I felt his tongue swirl around them, driving me crazy causing me to moan his name louder.
He got me off him and began taking his pants and underwear off. He got on top of me. 
“A-are you sure, Y/N?” He asked again.
“Y-yes M-ilo” 
He lined up at my entrance. He teased me for a bit by going up and down with his dick on my entrance.
“You’re so wet for me baby…” he said in a deep voice. He was looking at me as he did this.
I noticed his eyes looked darker. Lustful. “S-stop… I need you now”
He slowly went inside me, both of us moaning at how good it was feeling. 
“You’re so tight” he groaned.
He held my legs as he started to fuck me. He used one hand to rub my clit as he did so.
“M-Milo…. M-milo… it feels good” 
“You’re so sexy. “ he said as he held my waist for more support as he went faster. I wrapped my arms around his neck, as one hand pulled his hair, causing him to groan. He started to kiss my neck again. “Moan my name, baby”
I kept moaning his name. I tried so hard not to be so loud but it felt so fucking good. 
He pulled out and flipped me over. I put my ass up for him. He instantly went in. 
I started to throw it back for him, and from the mirror I can see he threw his head back in pleasure. He placed his hands on my ass, guiding me.
I felt his hands on my body helping me up and then moved one hand around my neck and the other on my boobs for support.
“Look in the mirror. I want you see how I fuck you.”
He started to go in and out of me. I saw us in the mirror. Fuck he looked so hot. His hands holding my boobs just right. His pounding hit a spot where I knew I would finish soon. His moans in my ear. His hand on my neck, choking me, but in a good way.
“M-milo” I moaned. “ I’m close.” 
“Me too.” He kept going at the pace he liked.
I felt his dick twitching in me as I felt my walls clenched. We finished at the same time, letting out moans doing so. 
Milo grabbed his shirt to wipe himself off and then handed it to me to do the same.
“Milo… I’m sorry if I Made this awkward between us.” I said shyly as I put the shirt he had let me borrow back on.
“Are you kidding? That was wild! … Didn’t know you had that in you. You look shy, but you are very freaky too… I like that, "he said and winked at me. I smirked at him.
He walked over to me and grabbed my hands in his. I looked up at him. His eyes were no longer dark. They were back to his normal light brown color. His hair got even more messier because of my tugging.
“Listen Y/N… I know you just got over a relationship and have to figure out some things… but just know I am here whenever you need me.” He said with a soft voice.
“Thank you, Milo.” I said.
“But for now…Let's go to bed. You tired me out. “ He said as he led me back to bed. We got under the covers and cuddled. I could hear his heartbeat slowing down. How crazy were we going?
We ended up falling asleep in each other’s arms. For the first tie in a while, I felt safe. He made everything seem better despite everything. 
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mishaloveclub · 8 months ago
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here’s the very first scene in my rewrite of desert duo’s time in third life because i do not have a completionist bone in my body and i may never end up posting or even finishing the whole thing
(first 700 words of guilty, not remorseful)
The explosion leaves behind remnants of fibre and vines, a sizable crater, and the sickly smell of singed skin.
A dreadful silence weighs heavy upon those who had witnessed it, had witnessed lively green eyes grow dull as Scar’s body slumped amidst the upturned dirt and smoke. They all stare in shock at the aftermath, exchanging uncertain glances as Grian remains frozen, blinking rapidly, eyes unfocused.
A shocked laugh, almost winded, forces its way up from Grian’s throat.
He has taken a life, lured a man to his death, and all he can do is laugh.
The air only remains still for a moment longer before everyone else finds themselves laughing too, unable to help themselves.
It’s an entirely absurd situation. One moment, Grian had a creeper hot on his tail, pressing a finger to his lips as he met Etho’s eye with a cheeky grin, and the next, Scar’s body was laid burnt and lifeless in a ditch.
Grian watches Scar’s fallen body flicker as it regenerates, vanishing from the crater and leaving nothing but a flattened patch of earth in its wake. It’s only then that the guilt rushes in, pushing aside any amusement as Grian realises the gravity of what exactly he has done.
He has stolen the life of a man who has offered him nothing but friendship and kindness. Torn it from his giving hands with a maniacal grin and the audacity to claim it as ‘a joke’.
The chatter dulls down as Scar reappears at the village outskirts and it seems that no one knows quite what to expect from him: anger, possibly. Or a sense of betrayal or revenge. Grian would even understand tears, grieving the life that had been so cruelly taken from him.
And yet Scar does nothing but smile at Grian with wary eyes, eyes that now shine a striking golden colour.
“Scar, I’m so sorry.” The apology bubbles up from Grian’s chest, voice softened with laughter as he takes a careful step towards Scar.
He makes no move to step away, a shocked laugh of his own escaping his lips, breathless yet forgiving, “I know you didn’t mean to.”
Grian’s smile drops at that, mouth falling agape as Scar’s attention is almost immediately drawn away from him.
Because Scar doesn’t know that. He doesn’t know what Grian’s intentions had been - good or bad - and yet he believes wholeheartedly in his innocence. It’s a level of trust that Grian truly does not think he deserves.
Conversation continues amidst the rest of the onlookers, Scar brushing off any implication of hard feelings, lighthearted jokes being made as the panic is pushed aside. Grian, however, has grown quiet, watching Scar laugh and jest as he always does, as though the guilt that has settled in Grian’s stomach isn’t threatening to consume him from the inside out.
Scar catches his eye after an excruciating minute, his lips tugging into a frown as he approaches, “Grian, it’s okay-”
“Let me talk to you for a moment,” Grian interrupts, his voice soft as he takes a gentle hold of Scar’s forearm.
He begins to tug Scar away from the crowd, to which he is happy to comply, following after Grian as they reach a more secluded area where their conversation will be out of the prying eyes and ears of the others.
“Scar, I’m so, so sorry.” Grian whispers, carefully scanning Scar’s face, his fingers still wrapped loosely around his arm.
“I already told you: it’s fine.” Scar chuckles, a well-meaning attempt to lighten the mood.
Grian takes in a long, calculated breath and in a spur-of-the-moment decision, entirely unplanned, he drops to one knee and bows his head in front of Scar, his next words altering the course of his time in this world forever.
“I took your first life, so I therefore owe you mine.”
Scar blinks at him, bewildered, “What?”
Grian lifts his gaze to look up at Scar, unsure of how else to prove his sincerity.
“I feel awful for what I’ve done, accidental or not, I killed you, Scar… So I vow my first life to you. I am in your service and at your side, “ There’s a momentary pause, “if you’ll have me.”
A slow, understanding smile paints itself on Scar’s lips, “So you’ll dig the sand… With me?”
“I’ll do anything you want me to do.”
And so it begins.
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Hi everyone, I'm Rin, welcome!
I'm a multifandom writer and you can send requests for headcanons, fics, etc. I can write for ships but currently I’m mainly doing x readers (no smut)
I'm also currently in school, so please be kind if I don't respond for a bit :) Guys I am on an unplanned really long hiatus :( idk the writing fuel is not… I hope you can enjoy the fics I have and I’m sorry if I haven’t written your request, I may get to it but not for a while. thank you <3
Besides writing this is mainly a maze runner blog, plus whatever else I decide to put on it - at this stage likely to be stranger things, the artful dodger, the marauders, and the umbrella academy
Tags: #my writing (just fics), #rin's saved (my fav posts of all time), #asks, #not fic (any non-fic posts)
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Fandoms I write for (+ masterlist):
My personal favs: ✩, my most popular: ❀
(gn) = gender neutral reader, (f) = fem, (m) = masc
THE MAZE RUNNER
Newt
Come back to me: Part 1 & Part 2 (gn) All in two days: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 (gn) ✩ You're my favourite: Part 1 & Part 2 (gn) Tides (f) Play me something? (m) ❀ Strawberry kisses (f) Angel boy & Perfect without (gn) Soul sister (f) The night we met (gn)
Thomas
✩ Invisible string (f) Calm and Storm (f) Intertwined (f) Thomas Relationship Headcanons (gn) Something I Need (f)
Minho
Love your touches (not in a weird way) (f) Classic (f) Just cuddles and kisses (f) ✩ Real or not real (f) First date (gn) ✩ Teenage dream (f)
Gally
Scars (gn)
Aris
It's you and me (f)
Everyone (platonic)
The Heart (gn) Shields: Part 1 & ✩ Part 2 (f) ✩ Hope (f) Born to run (f) ✩ Look after each other for me (f) ✩ Yellow painted skies (m) ✩ Everyone loves Y/n (gn)
TEEN WOLF
Stiles Stilinski
New kids
Allison Argent
Lydia Martin
Kira Yukimura
HARRY POTTER (main cast and marauders)
George Weasley
It's a love story (f)
THE QUEEN'S GAMBIT
Beth Harmon
My girl (f)
Benny Watts
THE ARTFUL DODGER
Jack Dawkins
Belle Fox
THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY
Five Hargreeves (note that his age is a bit fiddly, so fics will be set a) before he jumps forward, b) in an AU where he never jumps, or c) the time he spent in the apocalypse will be reduced. also depends on whether requests specify reader's age range)
MARVEL
Peter Parker (tasm or mcu -verse)
Bucky Barnes
Wanda Maximoff
Natasha Romanoff
If you're looking for any fandom/character that's not on this list just send an ask and I'll see if I know it well enough to write it
Requests are open!!
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astranne · 2 years ago
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CHERISHED GIFTS !genshin snippet
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note // ahahaha… finally writing again :D very sorry for the delay, the network was a bit more work than i thought. ty for my beta-readers ^^ ( @venexus ; @k-zu ) for reading trough my first yae miko writing and editing/commenting it. coming back from such a long (unplanned) hiatus is kinda hard. this is one of the works that is part of the network’s first writing event! i will link the masterlist here as soon it’s posted, check it out for more awesome works!!
network writing event; ice & snow
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Yae Miko isn’t the biggest christmas partier in Inazuma. But she organizes a celebration with her shrine maidens, one that is well-known and well sought after. Of course she knows this, yet she keeps the celebration relatively small. She could use this event to expand her influence, or make it purely business. Most would think this Christmas party to be a wasted opportunity; too often the managers of the Publishing House begged her to expand it. She never listens to it and continues to celebrate Christmas in a small circle.
How could she not? Not when you always come to her party, one of the few non-shrine maiden attendants, bringing small gifts for everyone. Yet her gift is always the best one, the most thoughtful one. A rare book, a handwritten poem on the most expensive paper, dried sakura petals and so much more.
Every year you bring her the best gifts, one better than the other and of course she takes care of them. All your gifts are displayed in her room, taken care of and never touched by anyone else but her.
Miko knows Christmas is not about the gifts, but the time spent together. Yet, when she rarely sees you, she will take any gift of yours and treasure it– just as she treasures every moment with you together. It makes your gifts special, unique and her little gems.
Of course, she doesn’t hesitate to spoil you either. But, unlike your gifts, which have an emotional connection to the both of you, she gifts you the most lavish things she can get her hands on. Be it a rare collection of the first printed book series, a bottle of the best wine one can find in Teyvat or one of her many talismans, which are crafted with the best materials and clearly of higher quality than those she normally gives to other visitors of the Narukami Shrine.
Many years this has been going on, and for many years Yae Miko celebrates Christmas with her shrine maidens, all the workers of her Publishing House and a few selected guests. And, since the first year, you have been part of the celebration. A special something, a special guest, someone dear to her. This will continue for many more years, with many more gifts exchanged and more treasures for Miko to admire.
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ASTRANNE 2022
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sh00kspeared · 4 months ago
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hello give me a handful of facts for a handful of your ocs
You're so amazing for this ask; first time anyone's asked me about this on tumblr and it just made my day <33
(and I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you aaaaaaaaa)
Vincent Fox (Cyberpunk 2077 player character)
He LOVES coffee, so much so that his afterlife drink has coffee in it-- I've actually created a recipe for it (it's captain morgan's spiced rum with bailey's and coffee; I'll make a post with the full recipe and quantities if anyone's interested :)
He's married to Johnny :)
He's a dad of two kids-- his baby daughter Jackie and his baby son Barrett. Both were 'unplanned' (in quotes because, of course, he's gay and both kids were adopted). Jackie was rescued from a scav den and Johnny killed her parents after discovering that they'd sold her on purpose for drug money, and I'm still thinking of a backstory for Barrett (though I'm considering having him be a test tube baby who was grown in a lab for human experimentation purposes, and Johnny and Vince end up rescuing him and decide to unofficially adopt him).
He secretly loves rom coms and other movies/BDs that are considered 'cheesy'
At his wedding, him and Johnny play a small setlist instead of having a first dance. The setlist includes Your Song by Elton John amongst a couple of songs that they wrote for one another a few years prior to the wedding.
Growing up poor, he DIYs a lot of his clothing, which is how he got into punk culture. Even as an adult with enough money to get by, he still DIYs most of the bling on his clothing.
His fighting style is stealth, knives, and netrunning. He can clear out entire gang dens in complete silence. However, his weakness is that if he's discovered, he often is at a loss on what to do and has to hide/retreat.
He's very tall, standing at 6'5".
Cryx (Starfield player character-- I know you already know a bit about her, but I still wanted to add this for the folks who don't know :)
Her backstory is heavily inspired by Dune-- she came from a planet far outside of the settled systems, about 300 light years away. The planet is known as Canopus Gamma, the inhabitants of which are very devout religious people who are unwilling to leave their planet due to a prophecy regarding a messiah who is to come to the planet. She ends up leaving the Canopus system at age 19 due to her longing to explore the galaxy, stowing away on a cargo ship to the Settled Systems.
She's married to Sarah :)
She's a very big science nerd and loves to research various samples she finds on planets in her spare time.
Caspian (protagonist of my fantasy novel WIP)
He can play the fiddle, and quite well. Arden (the prince that he's in a sort-of relationship with) taught him in his spare time.
He keeps an extensive compendium of all of the plants and animals he encounters in his spare time-- especially the magical creatures.
He's pretty short, standing at 5'5".
He's the prince's chamberlain, though he's gotten such a reputation around the castle that he doubles as an unofficial head servant as well.
His favorite drink is pine needle tea.
Thank you again for being interested in my loreeeeee 😭💗
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anastacialy · 5 months ago
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hello! first, i wanna say you're totally right here. all the points you made are correct, and i agree with your additions, as i agreed with your original post. i wouldn't reblog something to simply disagree in the tags! the tags were there as an addition and a slight rebuttal to opinions that opposed yours. for instance, when a lot of the fandom said colin should have to beg for penelope's forgiveness for saying he'd never court her, i disagreed wholeheartedly, and thought his scene of making amends was lovely, and more than made up for his actions. i don't like the way a lot of this fandom treats colin, and i'm sorry to have seemed to be doing the same. i think some of my tags and tone were misinterpreted here though, so i just want to clarify. i'm not great at communicating, so do try to read this post with the best and most lighthearted intentions. there's a character limit within a tag limit, so i can't always add everything i want to in the tags, and when i try to keep in concise, well, things like these tend to happen. when i said "yes it would be fun" that was meant to be read as, "yeah, yeah, i know you guys [the people who like angst] would like if this happened." which isn't totally disparaging the angst-loving people, by the way, as many actors and writers have confirmed that the original cut (pre-reshoots) of the season was angst-ier! even colin's crying and soft-spoken-ness during the whistledown reveal was unplanned, though it works entirely for his character and the two of them as a couple. the way it was written, he was meant to yell! shout! get angry! so that was my way of acknowledging that, before the second half of my tags were outright saying you were correct. imagine those subsequent tags as me going, "yeah, what they said! good point, boss!" behind you. i referenced like three or four other posts that were probably not read by you prior to this response, which is fair, since i post a whole lot. (there are fifty-five pages of bridgerton content on my blog. lmfao.) i use my tags to talk to myself and my followers, as was their original use (i've been rotting on tumblr since long before they showed up in the notes of a post), so i don't always give all the context in the world. it's kinda funny, i thought my referring to other posts for clarity was over-doing it! apparently not. i don't expect anyone who doesn't follow me to care to read my tags, but i know they're now served directly to the op, so i can see why you'd read them and disagree.
the "bite back" comment was in reference to this post, where i was commenting on the rest of the fandom's reaction to the scene. (in fact, someone reblogged that post with tags i disagree with, that seemed to miss the point of my post, ironically enough.) everyone was freaking out that he said something 'so mean' and i responded by saying, 'ok yes, if we wanted all the drama and messiness that came with the show's other couples, she'd have said something mean back to him there.' i imagined the rest of the scene playing out the same, though, where she apologizes quickly after realizing being rude to him isn't the right move. i'm not saying it would be healthy, nor better, and certainly not more in character. it was just a reference to a joke post i wrote at five in the morning after bingeing the series, and a reply to other people saying she should just call everything off in anger, which i don't agree with. the second post i was referencing was this heartbreaking drabble (which i fully thought i'd reblogged but didn't, so that one's my bad for sure) that has penelope call of the wedding for colin's sake. as in, her understanding she hurt him, and saying, 'i love you so much, i don't want to entrap you in a marriage where you'll be unhappy.' which, i did specify in the tags, by the way. this is just the annulment offer, but set earlier in the show. one thing we may disagree on, though, is that you say: "So if she said 'fine, no entrapment then, we're done' that is, realistically speaking, the death of their relationship." i personally do not think that would be the end of it. especially if, as in that fic and my tags, she called it off so as to not entrap him, to say 'no, you deserve happiness, even if it isn't with me.' i do think he'd be upset by her calling the wedding off. my interpretation of these scenes is that he still wants to marry her. when asked by kate, "does whatever new information you've learned [about penelope] truly negate [your relationship with her]?" [season 3 episode 7 timestamp 30:10] he shakes his head, no. i know this is later on in the show, but it is a feeling i think runs as an undercurrent to the feelings he shows in the scene we're discussing. so when i say his entrapment line is him "holding onto the marriage with his fingernails" i mean it is both him expressing his hurt, and him using propriety and "i am a gentleman" to keep the wedding on. this post i also referenced in the tags covers a lot of my feelings on the matter, though there are some nuances in my view there as well that i didn't bother rambling in the tags for, that time. and this one, and my tags on it, though that one's pretty /silly. but you share the same sentiment just in different words: "Yes, he still wants to marry her, not out of obligation, but because they have history and he has feelings for her." it is not truly obligation that i am arguing here, merely the illusion of obligation in order to hurt her in the moment, to hide his genuine desire to still marry her, and to deal with his more complicated feelings on his own.
also, when i say i want to write a fic about something, i mean it would be interesting to explore as an alternative to what happens in the show, to see how different actions might play out. i never, ever, in a million years think that the actual show should have changed, by the way. i make that clear in this joke post that i'm by no means the best writer. i'm also still waiting on my ao3 invite, so you're safe from my bad, ooc fanfics... for now. i was also referencing a very common joke post using the "please please please" line. i promise i don't actually think he'd say that, nor would it actually go in the fic. it's just a running joke at this point!
you extrapolated a lot about how i view penelope from these tags and, again, i understand why you would, as these are the only words of mine you've read. that's why im providing the context of my blog and other posts i'm referring to. the "no empathy" penelope you described is not at all the way i view penelope! i love her too much for that. she would be an awful partner if she behaved that way. but since we can understand colin lashed out in hurt, we can understand penelope might too, in theory, or in an au. but i understand you simply thought i was seriously saying the show should change or that this was the One True Interpretation, when i was not. context is important. uuu. [this is a joking reference to "prospects are important" and the little noise colin makes after he says his next line after that one. season 3 episode 3 "forces of nature" timestamp 8:57])
this is a great post i also recently reblogged on the topic too! and this one, which i have no clue why i didn't reblog yet. i may have been on mobile when i read it, hah. but they are saying the same thing as you here, and i agree! she truly hurt him, and he was completely within his rights to make a hurtful comment in that moment. i never said otherwise, and i certainly never said she should say or even imply that she didn't love him! i think both of us are also replying to the general fandom in this way. i genuinely love that, in canon, penelope met him with empathy and care right away. it's what he deserves! anyway, to reiterate: i agree with you! i think there were some misinterpretations of my tags and for that i apologize. i'd say agree to disagree, but i think it's mostly agree to agree (on most things) and agree to disagree (on a few small details i interpret slightly different than you) lmao! i hope this clears things up a bit!!
I guess what I find most funny about the 'She should call off the wedding because of Colin's entrapement line!' crowd is like. . .y'all really don't get Penelope at all, do you?
She has loved this man for YEARS. She's loved him through his engagement to someone else, she's loved him through him saying he wouldn't court her, she's loved him through multiple countries, through her family mocking their closeness, through a potential marriage to a Lord. She loved him so much she couldn't even DENY having feelings for him to save what she thought was her only chance of getting married. Do you know how easy it would have been for her to go 'No, we're just friends, I don't like him like that, you're proposing to me and that's what matters'? She couldn't denounce her feelings for him even THEN. Even when she doesn't think he reciprocates them and she's made peace with a life with Debling and is expecting his proposal. Colin was *always* first in her heart, through all those hurdles.
Because Colin has been kind in a cruel world, and he's made her laugh, and he encourages her confidence and he's warm and he's gorgeous and he centers her and he values her and he listens and makes her feel desired and beautiful. He's a good man, and her love for him makes her feel good, she treasures it. Even in the books she says it feels good to love a good person, whether he loved her back or not. And now she knows that he does and you think one line that Colin says in obvious hurt after finding out she's been hiding a secret persona for him is enough to shake that love? She spent what? Half a decade looking out her window pining for him and now on the eve of getting to live a life with him as husband and wife, she's going to chuck that away because of one sentence? How lowly do you think of her? How *stupid* do you think she is? To throw away the love of her life over what? Her pride? This fandom's OOC Fanon Pen is a disservice to Penelope's actual character.
Her love for Colin is steadfast. It's made of tougher stuff than all that. It has survived everything that has been thrown at it. Distance, other people, Portia. And y'all really, truly believe that a singular statement will make her go 'Naw, I don't want it anymore!' PUHLEASE. Even when she offers him that annulment, you KNOW she knows it's not on the table.
Stop playing. OF COURSE she didn't call off the wedding. Of COURSE she chose to understand where he was coming from and went 'I didn't mean to trap you, Colin, I love you'. Of course she asks what the marriage will be and is comforted by the fact that he still wants to go through with it.
Penelope Featherington has loved Colin most of her life. It has been one of the few constants in her existence. He has been good to her in said existence, consistently. He's listened, he's cared, he's apologized to her, he's taken ownership of his actions, he's invited her to be more open, he's joked with her, he's supported her, he saw her when she was invisible. She. Loves. Him. And for good reason.
It's not going away because of one line. Or two. Or three. Come back next time when you actually understand her.
#if anyone reads this whole thing AND all of the posts i link within it you're so strong and brave. frankly. this is a ramble and a half#i only got like three hours of sleep so if this isn't worded right BLEASE just give me the benefit of the doubt here im v tired#i was /lh in the tags. i didn't mean this to be. that serious. so pls forgiv me#but i tried my best. i cited my sources. lmfao#i also like. am constantly reblogging ''think about this from colin's side'' meta so i truly did not think those tags would be read#as being mean to or dehumanizing him (tho ill remind everyone they are fictional characters and that analysis and critique are of the#writers actors directors editors etc. every scrunch of colin's eyebrows is a deliberate choice made by a team of people and not like#one real guy i'm talking about. watsonian vs doyalist analysis is important here i think. he is after everything a fictional character)#this post took me longer to write than the amount of hours i slept before writing it. i treated this post like a nine-to-five#very important to me that people understand what i meant. being misinterpreted is my hell truly#i love this fictional man he deserves all the softness and kindness in the world#bridgerton#bridgerton spoilers#and fuck it since i talked SO much on this one it's also going into my#txtly#tag. cause im sharing thoughts and many many opiniuons#ok thanks for reading sorry my og tags were unclear!!#edit: after reading some more convos in the replies i especially see how you could have interpreted my tags the way you did! eep!!#i really hope this clears everything up cause the way you took it was certainly not how i meant it lmao!!
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cosiamdeda · 5 years ago
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First post after 2 year hiatus:
Code Geass S1 Ep 22 is complete sh*te.
See you next month. Bye
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goldkirk · 2 years ago
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Top 10 mental health/similar books you've read in the past year? (or documentaries, or podcasts, anything is cool!)
this is gonna be all over the place and way more than just 10, sorry, but i'd say my top most impactful things-of-any-type I've encountered in the past year are the following.
Books:
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog
Reparenting the Child Who Hurts
Take Back Your Life
Zak George's Dog Training Revolution
When the Body Says No
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
The Case Against Conversion "Therapy": Evidence, Ethics, and Alternatives
On Tyranny
Random:
Plato's allegory of the cave
How Tax Brackets Actually Work
UV Camera Reveals The Best Way to Apply Sunscreen to Your Face
Rhett's story of his personal religious deconstruction timeline
This guy's gut wrenchingly honest, timeline-jumping, clearly articulated, and wryly humorous series explaining his long and truly wild journey to atheism
This 6 minute interview with Liz Hunter where she talks about growing up in a cult without realizing it
Church Services Are Designed to Influence You. Here's How.
Former Evangelical leader Josh Harris on renouncing Christianity
therapist talking about the lies purity culture tells women
a therapist's take on religions and emotional manipulation
Polygamist Cult Founder’s Daughter, Rachel Jeffs, Gives Her First TV Interview
Evangelical blinders/guarding your heart
Big Joel's video on anti-abortion propaganda (large focus on the movie Unplanned)
I fantasized about martyrdom too
Omnipotence paradox & laws of logic
"Cults Inside Out" with Rick Alan Ross
An analysis of the Christian martyr complex via the first three God's Not Dead movies
Raised in a cult and finding her voice (an interview with Liz Hunter)
No True Joy Outside the Church?
Pray Away: A Therapist's Take on Conversion Therapy
Nothing Fails Like Bible History - Episode 1
Personal Autonomy Post-Religion
WHAT do you do after LEAVING a cult? (life after the moonies) (this girl is SO FUNNY)
TheraminTrees's (therapist) YouTube videos, especially:
betting on infinity
rebuttals to 'betting on infinity'
false equivalence | qualiasoup and theramintrees
punishing doubt | religious condemnation of thought
'science' of the gaps
commanded to love | performing false emotions for tyrants
grooming minds | the abuse of child indoctrination
degrading love -- part one | how religions distort the meaning of 'love'
degrading love -- part two | how religions distort the meaning of 'love'
living with abusers
imaginary defects | when dogmas label us flawed
creating sickness | recovering from religion
Philosophy Tube's YouTube videos, especially:
Abortion & Ben Shapiro (you might need to pause this one a few times just to mull things over on your own time)
Ignorance & Censorship
Queer✨
Logic
Who's afraid of experts?
Identity: A Trans Coming Out Story
Social Constructs
The Hidden Rules of Modern Society
FundieFriday's YouTube videos, especially:
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY
THE CREATION MUSEUM & ARK ENCOUNTER
RESIDENTIAL SCHOOLS
The post 9/11 Evangelical fever dream that is Jesus Camp
MICHAEL & DEBI PEARL
THE MARTYRS OF COLUMBINE
iilluminaughtii's youtube videos, especially:
The Abusive Practices of Focus on the Family
The IBLP & ATI
Ex-Fundie Diaries' YouTube videos, especially:
Christian Nationalist Child Indoctrination Cult: AWANA
Christian Nationalist Propaganda | Inside My Homeschool "Science" Binder
Christian fundamentalism doesn't always look like the Duggars
Anxiety & Anger Are a Sin in Christian Fundamentalism | Emotional Child Abuse
Child Abuse | Spanking, Neglect, & Psychological Punishments in Christian Fundamentalism
Documentaries:
Scientology and the Aftermath
Pray Away
Seduced: Inside the NXIVM Cult
Lots of others on YouTube and Netflix I'm sorry it's just hard to dig them all up lol, if I have energy some other time I will
Hope this helps someone!
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goldilockswrites · 3 years ago
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Can I have a 6 w/ vic pls??
Thorns // Victoria De Angelis
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Pairing: Victoria De Angelis x Reader (she/her)
Requested: Yes
Summary: Victoria meets her ex-girlfriend (Ava). The unplanned “date” upsets her and she decides to drink and smoke to cope. When she wakes up in the morning her best friend Y/N (who she also happens to have a crush on) is there to try and reason with her. 
Warnings: Mentions of smoking. Mentions of panic. Swearing.
A/N: Hey, guys! This is the first fanfiction from my prompt list and I was so excited to post this one; this is an old fic, that I reworked to fit the request. 
Hope you enjoy,
Axe <3
P.S. I know Vic doesn't smoke, but this is all fiction, so anything is possible ;)
P.S.2. This is inspired by a true story and was first written with different names, so any similarities with real people are unintentional. 
Tags: @moonlight-simp @le-paure-di-coraline @cuzimitaliano @dpaccione @writingmaneskin @iosonoarina @itsmaneskinbitch @theimpossiblehologramtree @blackberryblossom @unitersmoonshine @maneslut @sunflowerpumpkinpie @que--sera--sera @wasteddoubts @wannabemarlenabutiscoraline @cheese-toastie-11 @selenophiliaxx @mywritingonlyfans @l0standn0tf0und-fics 
© 2021-2022 @idyllicbutterfly on Tumblr All Rights Reserved
Add yourself to my taglist - Check out my other stories
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Victoria watched the sea, losing herself in the rhythm of azure waves. Her eyes - set on the horizon, face glowing peach from the last rays of the dying sun. Puckered lips bore the resemblance of a smile, wide enough to show that she was enjoying the sound of her own thoughts. Ava stepped closer, dry leaves crunching under the soles of her sneakers, yet she stayed quiet, allowing Vic one last moment alone. 
“You’ve started smoking again.” Thorn-like voice drawled. 
“I am not smoking.” The blonde didn’t turn around.
“I can smell the cigarettes on you. Don’t lie to me.” Ava reached out for Victoria’s hand. 
“Why do you care?” The bassist hissed; her palms, burning from Ava’s fingertips. 
“You promised me you won’t smoke!” 
“And you promised me you won’t leave.” Tears brimmed Vic’s eyes; her vision getting cloudy.
“I’m sorry.” Ava’s tone breaking. “I need you.” She admitted. 
“I needed you, too. I needed you when I cried all night long, when I bruised my knuckles from punching the bathroom tiles, when I stood in front of the mirror and hated what I saw on the other side… When I was in the hospital every other day, because I couldn’t stop shaking and gasping for air. Where were you when I needed someone to hold me through my panic? Where were you?” Victoria had started yelling; she could taste her tears on the tip of her tongue - bitter as poison. Silence. “You weren’t there! You weren’t there, because you left me! So tell me after you lied to everyone and made me lose them, what could you possibly need me for?” 
“You’re mad at me, aren’t you?” Ava fiddled with her rings.
“Mad at you? Absolutely not. Mad at you doesn’t even begin to explain it! Anger is primitive, anger develops after sadness; it trails behind, always. I am not angry, I am disappointed that you didn’t keep your promise. That you destroyed me!” The blonde walked down the beach, kicking small stones out of her way. 
“I didn’t mean to destroy you.” 
“But you did.” Victoria cuddled into her jacket. “Now, what did you need me for?”
“I’ve just felt extremely depressed lately… And I thought I’d share with someone and I just remembered how well you always understood me and how you were always supportive and …” Ava’s voice trembled.
“I could have changed.” The blonde looked at the horizon. Another pause of awkward silence torn by her voice. “You know… Before you asked me to date you, you said a girl broke your heart… Well, I found her. And I saw how you treated her and how you spoke to her and all the posts about your dates… And then I realised, you never treated me like that, even though I always put you first. I gave you the kind of love that was a shield when you needed it and freedom when you wanted it. So, please tell me, why did you leave? Did you find someone better? Someone more successful? Was I really just a replacement? Did you even care about me a little bit, miss “I’d love to still be next to you”!?” 
“You didn’t change. You can’t.” Ava was right. It was painful to admit, but she was. Victoria didn’t change, she was the same on the inside; only the outside had gotten thicker. 
“What do you need?” The bassist sighed. 
“You will help me? After all I did to you?” 
“When I wrote in that journal, that I’d die for you I meant it. Sucks, I'll have to die alone. You know my number, call me when you want something.” Victoria crossed over the small, stone bridge that led to the city. 
She threw herself in the first pub she saw on the way, submerging herself in thoughts and drinks. It took a lot of condensed pain to produce each drunk she saw sitting by the bar, storm and clouds were enough to break both a soul and heart, especially as fine as hers. So she found herself drowning in wine, all giggly, dancing with random strangers and lighting cigarette after cigarette, until the annoying stinging from her break-up had halted. For three months, without calls, or messages with someone who had become to her more important than oxygen, the only times she wasn't in pain were when she was drunk or smoking, if not both. 
***
The voile shirt draped around Victoria’s body, gently cascading down her curves. Red specks soaking into the white fabric - her bloody nose. Teardrops, stained gunmetal from shimmery eyeshadow, chased to her jawline, planting bitter kisses to delicate skin. 
“Babe?” The blonde turned around. The right side of her bed wasn’t empty for the first time in what felt like forever. “Are you ok?” The voice echoed through the small room like a storm over the sea; cold, azure waves crashing in moss-covered stones. “Do you remember what happened?” Iron fingertips gently tracing her neck.
“Y/N? Is that you?” Victoria croaked, her chest heaving up and down rapidly. 
“Yes, yes. It’s me. Now do you remember anything?” The woman stroked the blonde’s hair. “Aside from meeting your piece of shit ex, of course.”
“She isn’t a piece of shit.” Now this was anger. Fire burning ocean irises. Spite mixed in with saliva. “Don’t be like my sister, please. I have had enough of her bullshit, just to listen to you too.”
“Your sister is right.” Y/N fixed the blanket over Victoria’s trembling body.
“Don’t pretend.” The bassist’s breath shook.
“Pretend what?”  
“That anyone cares. I know for a fact, that if she had a choice she’d run, like the rest of them. She always assures me that’s not the case, but… She’s still a human… And if I couldn’t keep Ava…” Vic wiped new tears with her icy fingertips. “I hate this. I hate this. I HATE MYSELF!” Y/N winced as she watched the girl breaking down in her arms, toppling over like a house made out of cards, thinking she was completely unlovable. 
“You love. A lot. You love with your whole being; with each cell in your body, without sparing any love for yourself. You love so much you set people free, instead of suffocating them with your adoration. You let them grow in your space and you learn to stay on the sidelines, to support them and aid them when they need you; and then you slowly swallow your own heart to survive. You deserve better.” 
“I don’t. I don’t, because people like me… We don’t get to have people like Ava.” Victoria continued on crumpling. 
“People like Ava deserve a nap on the concrete, or in a jail cell for hurting someone as beautiful as you.” Y/N tucked a strand of hair behind the bassist’s ear. “Look at me, Vic.” The blonde lifted her blurry gaze. “I love you!” The woman placed her hand on the musician’s shoulder. “I love your eyes, and your smile, and the way you giggle after you say something stupid. I love how you look when you are sunken deeply into your thoughts, and I love you when you are happier than sunshine. I love you when you twirl around the kitchen, and when you sing, and when you play your music. And I love it when we go out and you drag me into vintage shops, and I love it when you say my name. And I love it when you hug me, and hold my hand, and when you pull me close. I love you. A lot. And I think I deserve you. More than Ava.” Y/N exhaled. “Look, if you don’t -”
“Y/N. I love you, too. And I never knew you felt this way! Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“Because I was afraid I love you too much and that would scare you away.”
“Y/N… I love you. I love when you are being a dumb fool, who can’t read any of the signs I’ve given you for years now that I am madly in love with you. And I love when you are trying to love me, even when I am the most unlovable person. And I love that you don’t hand out promises just because. And I love your little rituals. And I love the bouquets you keep at home. And I love it when you swoon over art, and technology, and cars, and food, and coffee. And I love it when you laugh and talk… I love you. I love you to pieces.” That’s all it took for them to lean in; meeting in the middle. A passionate kiss that made everything make sense; the years of longing for real love, the waiting; 
“I love you, Victoria! Damn… I can’t believe how long I’ve waited to say this. I love you, Victoria De Angelis! I love you! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!”
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