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yanderechuu · 3 years ago

Note

do any of the teachers ever notice the things happening to y/n? (i headcannon Mic and Midnight as yanderes that would give advice to 1A lol)

yandere!Class 1A x fem!reader

[2.1K]

Summary: Aizawa is the first one you approached in regards to your certain predicament.

Warning: nonconsensual recording

│

Aizawa suspected something wasn’t quite right by the moment he saw you entering the class a minute before the bell rang, all haggard and teary-eyed, though you tried your best to obscure your disposition. He always knew you to often be in a state of discomfort whenever you were compelled to socialize, especially with your classmates, but now - you looked as if you reached your limit of holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, crashing down all at once as depicted on your crestfallen expression.

And when you showed up in front of the faculty room, timidly soliciting his presence, his suspicions were only further verified. Even with a pending question regarding subject matters in your mind, you weren’t one to approach a teacher to inquire about it, and if you did it was because the teacher was the one who would ask your attendance; never the other way around.

Present Mic was the first one to acknowledge you. He stood up from his office chair, waving at you comically. “Yo, (l/n)! Having trouble with English again?”

You never had a problem with his subject; he only insisted that you’d come to him in regards to that. “N-no, not really. May I speak to Aizawa-sensei?”

“Talk with me instead!” He enthusiastically spoke and headed over to you. “Come on, what’s the matter?”

“It isn’t your place to ask that when I’m here.” Aizawa interceded, clearly unimpressed by Mic’s antics. He failed to see the latter’s displeased countenance. “(L/n), what is it?”

You avoided eye contact with him, averting your view to the ground - that was alright. You were always like this, and he didn’t mind. Nothing out of place except for the fact that it looked as if you were about to cry any moment now.

“Can we- can we, um, talk somewhere more private?” You asked quietly.

His brows raised in wonder at your request. Nevertheless, he didn’t decline you, only nodding lackadaisically before heading towards the teacher’s lounge, where you followed him suit. He flicked the door tag to ‘occupied’ and entered the room after you, when he told you sit on the three-person sofa situated not quite on the farthest left of the space. Then, he settled himself on the chair across you.

“Well?” He asked, expectantly.

But you had once again your head above a thick cloud of anxiety. You knew that after the event with Momo in the girls’ locker room - where you had injured her against your will because she had been violating your personal space - your homeroom teacher kept a cautious eye on you in case you’d re-enact that incident. And it wasn’t just that incident that made him look at you like you were a criminal on the loose, either. Your classmates found and did a lot of ways to place you in Aizawa’s naughty list just so you wouldn’t snitch on their abusive (they’d call it affectionate) behavior on you.

That didn’t erase the fact that you were nevertheless his student; he cared for you no less than he cared for his other pupils, yet you were just too ignorant in figuring that out. All that mattered to you was that you’d voice out your current concern to him, but with your insecurities holding you down it seemed it would be more difficult than you had primarily foreseen it to be.

“I-I,” you stammered out, fiddling with something inside your pocket, “u-um, you see, t-there’s this, I mean, I can’t-”

He grew increasingly frustrated with your constant stuttering, and although he did understand your shy nature which largely affected your conversational habits, he only had so much patience to deal with it.

“I don’t have all day.” He stated, glowering at your form in mild irritation. “If you’re going to keep doing that, talk to the wall.”

You abruptly halted in speaking after that, only looking down on your lap, staring wide-eyed, grief-stricken at the revelation that perhaps he really did not want to heed any of your words because you were just that bad of a student that he had decided you were not worth much the effort to concern himself with. And maybe he was right - that your words didn’t matter because you didn’t matter; that there were more affairs he better be tending to than yours; that you were only making a big deal out of this when it truthfully wasn’t.

Oh god, you felt like vomiting. Self-deprecation was getting the better of you.

He stood up and sauntered to the exit, not bothering to spare you a glance. “Come back to me when you actually know what you want to say.”

It was a matter of seconds when you ran to him, pulling him back rather harshly by the grip you had on his sleeve. He turned around due to the force to see your head still hung low, avoiding his gaze as always - only, your shoulders were quivering sporadically, and occasional sniffs were heard from your person.

“P-please, sensei...” you voiced out, shaken and horrifyingly delicate. “I-I’m so scared. Please.”

While he looked at you with contracted irises, countenance now alert from your unexpected disposition, you pulled your trembling hand out of your skirt pocket, nervously disclosing to him from your palm a small, black device with a tiny yet prominent lens.

“M-my room,” you heaved, “I-I saw this i-in my room, m-my closet, while- while I was dressing up, and I don’t know how long it had been in there but it probably already caught me bare and-”

You broke down in a flurry misery and shame, allowing yourself to fall to the ground but you didn’t - Aizawa seized you in his arms, his gentle, fatherly arms that could only do so much to console you from the horror of your reality. And he held your head as you cried on his chest, one little thing he could do after ignoring your situation and letting you think that your significance was less than the rest of his other students. At that moment, you were just so little, so fragile, so naïve he’d keep you in his pocket if he could. Why would someone do something as debauched as illegally recording your innocent self?

“I’m sor-sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m really telling the truth, p-please-”

“Shh, it’s okay. I don’t doubt you.” He reassured. Why were you apologizing? Were you that insecure of being a nuisance? No, no, you never were. Not to him. He reached for your hand to take the cursed device. “Since when did you find out?”

“J-just this morning.” You responded.

“Alright. Do you want to rest? This must have taken a huge toll on you.”

But you still had classes ongoing. Then again, you didn’t feel like looking at the faces of the prime suspects who possibly did you dirty, even when you knew that you’d have to eventually interact with them to get notes of your missed lessons. You were so tired from summoning the lot of your courage to confront your teacher regarding your problem, so you probably wouldn’t have the energy to listen to class discussion. Aizawa finalized your decision by pulling you up and guiding you towards the office of Recovery Girl who, after being briefed of your predicament by your homeroom teacher, welcomed you with a warm smile, telling you to make yourself comfortable in one of the beds in the infirmary.

He then made his way to 1A classroom, a newfound swelling of rage and disappointment in his chest, both forwarded to his class and to himself because only now did he realize that perhaps you were often so restless and apprehensive in the presence of your classmates because they did things that made you bury yourself in the deepest parts of your shell as a last attempt to revel in a sense of safety. Your timidity was not entirely derived from your own nature; it was also due to the maltreatment you were receiving from your classmates. Halting his steps by the classroom door, he looked through the glass window, seeing the class focusing on Midnight’s lecture.

Well, not quite. He could tell that your classmates were visibly affected by the lack of your presence, glancing at your desk from time to time as quiz papers were being passed behind - so they were in the middle of a test, he guessed. But that wasn’t his concern.

In impudent manner, he walked in amid Midnight’s talking, disregarding her face’s sudden morphing into vexation as the students gave him a look of confusion.

“Eraser, what are you-” she was rudely interrupted as Aizawa took the test reference papers from her hands. Something about Modern Hero Art History, he read. He faced his class with disdain, stating,

“Until someone confesses their crime of hiding a spy camera on (l/n)’s dorm room, all of you are receiving failing marks on this test.”

Quite suddenly, the class burst into violent upheaval, gasping, perking, some allowing the dreadful news of your situation to sink in, others letting out noises of complaint before actually taking consideration to the main point of Aizawa’s statement. Midnight stared at him in disbelief, but did nothing to stop his measures.

Momo abruptly stood. “I-is (y/n) okay? We should go check on her!”

“No, you shouldn’t.” Aizawa said. “All of you are suspects. You’ve no right to see her.”

“She probably just made that up get back on us for whatever fucking reason!” Yelled Bakugou.

“Yeah?” The male pro-hero disingenuously mused. He then picked up the spy camera and held it for everyone to see, before setting it down the teacher’s podium. “This was found on her closet. Would she risk recording herself naked just to prove that point?”

Noise died down thereafter, setting their sights solemnly at the device, the class collectively having the same thought in regards to the spy camera.

(Why hadn’t they thought of that? It could have been easier to check on you that way, since you almost always confined yourself in the privacy of your own room.)

“So? No one wants to speak up?” Aizawa asked, though expected the silence.

“Aizawa, have them approach you after classes. It’s embarrassing this way.” Midnight intervened.

“Well that’s the point. Get them exposed to the entire class, so everyone could realize how much of a perverted bastard one of these to-be heroes are. Good values, my ass.” He replied, not bothering to filter rather colorful vocabulary. “Where’s your dignity?”

He let a minute or two pass for the perpetrator to reveal themselves, but soon it became apparent that whomever they were refused to admit to their crime, willing to sacrifice the grades of the class for the sake of anonymity. That would be deemed useless, anyway, because Aizawa was already set on figuring out whom they were, no matter the extent he’d go to in order for that to happen. He’d expel them at once.

But he didn’t have the power to expel someone outside of his class.

“I guess that’s it for your test.” He sighed, disgruntled, picking up the small camera and sauntering his way out of the classroom after giving Midnight a look that he was dead serious with marking all of them a failing score. She stared at him in uncertainty, nonetheless abided by his decisions, albeit hesitantly.

Upon ascertaining his absence, Midnight turned to Class 1A, amusement and humor dancing on her seductive countenance.

“Naïve, hormonal teenagers,” she mused, “the closet, really? Couldn’t you have chosen somewhere less conspicuous?”

None of them bothered to tell her that they were truthfully unaware of the incident.

===

Hagakure Toru, stealth hero, entered your room silently in the nude, the only proof of her movements being a tinier, different spy camera she’d brought along with her. No, not the closet, you might find it again. It looked so painfully obvious on the desk, too, and neither in the bathroom due to its pale white interior.

But on the pencil holder situated atop your nightstand would do. You barely moved it, anyway, only having its purpose served as a decoration; something to fill the vacancy of the bedside table. After a few adjustments in camouflaging the device with the environment and making sure the lens displayed the area of your space, Hagakure checked its concealment one more time, before mechanically heading outside and back to her own dorm.

Her body collided almost violently with her room’s door, snapping her out of her trance.

“H-huh!? Weird... how’d I end up in my room?” She asked, receiving no answer from particularly anyone.

But Shinso Hitoshi could provide her one, if only he weren’t outside, staring at your terrace from five stories down your room, a gratifying smirk donned on his features. Now, the only thing he had to do was dismantle and relocate the gadgets wirelessly connected with the camera Aizawa had confiscated.

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emithecharmer · 3 years ago

Text

Love at First Sight

Please let me start by saying that I have no clue how fan signs work? All I know is that you meet them and interact a bit, I don't know if they sign any object so, you can pick your own. And yes I have been to Korea, I do know a bit about their culture, but I know more about Japanese culture, because I'm around it more.

Chan

When you came to their fan sign you were starstruck, Chan could almost literally see stars in your eyes. You're smile was so beautiful to him, he'd never appreciated someone's presence so much before. You gave him your object for him to sign but quickly noticed he wasn't moving. You waved your hand slightly, getting a bit nervous, this was not good for your social anxiety. He quickly composed himself and signed your (object of choice??) he added something below his name which made you lift your right eyebrow. He smiled and said, "My uh, number, don't give it to anyone else though, please." You nodded, dumbfounded, and he could see the blush rising to your already pink cheeks. You bowed to him as you left and went home that night, texting him, he answered immediately.

Lee Know

He saw you walking down the sidewalk while he was doing a vlog with all them members. He, without realizing dropped the camera at your feet. You gasped a bit and picked it up, dusting off the not existent dirt and handed it back to him. Your Korean was absolutely horrible so you said sorry in English. He nodded and quickly started talking to you in English, leaving the rest of the guys standing there awkwardly. He left with your number and a new crush. He texted you within two minutes, way too excited to wait any longer. He's really good at responding, and if he knows he won't be able to, he always tells you in advance.

Changbin

You were in Cosmetology, you loved everything to do with makeup and skincare. If there was one thing you were confident in, it was your fashion and your makeup skills. You had been chosen to be Jisung's stand in makeup artist as his just up and left. As soon as you walked in Changbin told his stylist to go to Han and he would take you, they were skeptical at first but went anyway. You went to Changbin and quickly got to work, he tried talking to you but you kept shushing him, he was hurt at that but hushed anyway. A little over 10 minutes later you sighed.

"Now you can talk, you were messing with the makeup." His mouth make an 'o' shape and he nodded his head. He slipped you his number before he went on stage.

"Call me later ok?" His eyes were the definition of puppy dog eyes and it was too adorable to refuse. You called him around 7 hours later, wanting to make sure his performance was done and he talked to you for what felt like days. He'd never been happier talking to someone.

Hyunjin

They were visiting Japan and wanted to go to the coffee shoppe they'd heard about, coincidentally, you happened to be there too. You had just gotten your drink when you turned the corner and bumped into a tall man. You started cursing at yourself and apologizing to him, grabbing napkins and wiping his shirt before realizing how weird this looked. You just apologized more and offered to pay for his drink, all while never looking at his face. You could hear laughter and then a "Hyunjin, a pretty girl and all you can do is stare." You look up to see a child of Aphrodite infront of you, a man who looked like his face would cause the world to go blind from looking at it too long. He got his wits together and quickly assured you that it was fine, it was just a shirt. He did however say there was a way to compensate him. You nodded quickly but froze when he gave you his phone.

"Did I break it?" You asked horrified.

"No! No! I was hoping you'd put your number in it.." He trailed off, about to take his phone back when you took it and put your number in. He smiled and his friends dragged him away. He texted you until it was well past 2 am and you needed to sleep because you had classes.

Felix

Felix was in a sweet shoppe, looking for random candies to send back home to his family, when he saw you. You looked like you were in very deep thought, looking between a vanilla and birthday cake flavored lollipop. Felix went up and said that the vanilla was better but was left speechless when you turned around. You thanked him with a smile and picked the vanilla, you were about to leave when he grabbed your wrist. You stopped at the touch, and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes?"

"Um, can I get your number by any chance..?" He looked nervous enough and though you never gave random guys your number, his freckles were too hard to resist. You nodded and went on your way. That night when you were about to get in bed your phone rang, it was an unknown number. You answered and he introduced himself.

"Sorry I called so late, I really wanted to hear your voice again." He was such a sweet talker, he had you kicking your feet and despite common sense, you already liked him.

Han

They were at a photo shoot and you were helping with wardrobe. When Han came up for a clothes change you were the one to help.

"I almost don't want you to take this off." You were joking of course but his response left you blushing.

"Then can you do it for me?" You eyes widened and you laughed before nodding.

"Good one."

"Wasn't a joke." He said as he walked away with his new shirt on, leaving you speechless. When the shoot was done he went and found you again, getting your number and kissing your cheek when he left.

Seungmin

He had always wanted a pet, preferably a golden retriever, so he went to a shelter, you were the one to help him out.

"This is Amaris, she's 4, she was found a little over a year ago after a flooding." You explained. Now, Seungmin had fallen twice, for you and for the dog. He quickly signed the papers and got your number. You explained that Amaris and your dog had play dates regularly, so if he wanted to, you'd like to continue, he agreed and your relationship took off from there.

You two actually met in his last year of high school. You two were partners for a project and that's how he got your number, you hung out a lot before he joined the group, but he never forgot about you. He always invites you to rehearsals and when they go out to eat. The guys have gotten used to your company and you get along fairly well. IN asked you out when you were eating with them, he kinda just, blurted it out? You choked on your noodles and he started to panic. You agreed to date him after recovering from your near death experience.

#skz bang chan #skz changbin #skz felix #skz fluff #skz hyunjin #skz i.n #skz imagines #skz minho #skz seungmin #skz han

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spacewassocool · 2 years ago

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Hello again.

Could I request the space crew + crew! mack and he! mack conforting a tired and depressed captain

many things on the ship want to go kabom! and the cap is running from one thing from the other and they haven't called any of the crew because they were also tired from all the work

sorry if this is to especific...

today was a difficult day at work :( I just want to be conforted by my favorite people

I AM SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG AAAAH

Many chaos happening

PLEASE ENJOY!!!

Fandom: ISWM Pairings: None Pronouns: You/Yourself Warnings: Blood mention, mention of guns and shooting Word count: 800ish?

I don't think I've said this but my first language is not English. please do not go after me for saying something wrong.

What a wonderful week it has been.. Not. Everything has been going wrong, stuff exploded, all your notes had accidentally been thrown away, you were constantly running into stuff being moved around. Yet you never got to complain. You were the Captain of the Invincible II, you could not let your crew down. When ADS went off and started shooting everyone, you were there and fixed it, despite being shot in the leg, you kept on going. Oh no, looks like Cyro is freezing everyone, off you go captain.

Now you were tired, there were purple bags under your beautiful and/or handsome eyes. Your legs kept giving out, you didn't get any sleep for ages. You didnt really eat or anything a normal human should do.

Mark

He found you passed out outside Cryo. My man was terrified.

Being the strong boy that he is, he brought you to the bedroom that was for emergency purposes

When you wake up, you can see him sitting next to your bed, bumping his leg up and down.

“Oh my gosh I’m so glad that you’re okay. Here have some water”

Then he hands you a croissant instead of water because he’s so distracted.

After talking to him about what has been happening the past week, he connects the dots in his tiny brain.

So that's why you were avoiding him, you were tired and sad

He gets it now.

Immediately patches up any wounds that you have, gets you to do it by yourself if its in a place you dont want him looking.

Cries and hugs you when he sees you because my boy is scared that you’ll pass out again

Follows you around because he wants to help you forever now

Gunther

He sees you laying down at your desk, just mentally screaming

Immendly squats down to your level to ask whats wrong.

Shoots your chair leg to force you to go to bed

Don't ask questions

Get in the bed

Asks a lot of questions

Thats how you know he’s serious

Wants you to rest

He’ll get Mark to take charge. The Captain cannot be workin in this condition

“Okay, next time ADS goes off, tell me.”

Threatens to shoot anyone who goes near you while you’re sleeping

Celci

Sees you outside Cryo leaning on the door for dear life

“Woah Cap, whats going on?”

Escorts you to her private room

Defo makes you hot chocolate

Talks to you about everything

Reasons to you about why you shouldn't feel the need to fix everyone else's problems

A Lot of cuddles to make up for everything

Rechecks all of the security systems to try and figure out what caused the mess

Just a huge sweetheart

Helps you get more sleep

Burt

This man notices right away that you arent okay

But he does not say anything due to social anxiety

Sends you messages but gets worried when you don't respond

When he finally gets the courage to go ask what's wrong, you are nowhere to be seen.

After searching for 10 minutes, he finds you crying in a cupboard

Hugs you like the MAN he is

Asks you what's wrong and takes you to his safespace

Comfort baking anyone?

Yep, you guys make cookies together

Forces you to get a good night sleep

Just a really good guy

Crew Member! Mack

Since he is such a good member of the crew, he likes to keep logs on everyone

And there is not a person whom he cares more for than the Captain.

However, he has become rather concerned lately

His favourite person is not doing so great

He knocks on your office to try and talk to you, only to find you in the corner looking done with life, and also fast asleep

Much like Mark, Mack has big boy strength, so picking you up is no problem.

Take you to the Captains quarters!!

Tucks you in and does a scan of your injuries, covers up the most serious ones

Tracks your breathing because he loves you so much (Why am i making him a yandere)

When you wake up, bombards you with questions

When he realises he’s overwhelming you, shuts himself up

Just lets you talk

Pets your shoulder

He’ll be here for you

Head Engineer! Mack

Just another day in the ship, say where is his Captian, he wants to complain.

Notices a trail of blood leading up to your room

Immediately panics

Uses his override code to open the door

Sees you at your desk, crying and just being done with all the work you have to do

Hugs from the back people

This is huge guys

He does not like physical touch

The fact that he willingly gave it to you is a privilege

Honestly, just holds you while you cry

He knows how tough space can be

Must be even worse when you’re a captain

Listens to all your problems (that's a first)

After you’ve calmed down, leaves to go find whomever fucked everything up

In all, he’s here for you, and will never leave your side.

#in space with mack #mack #head engineer #ISWM #In space #iswm part two #in space with markiplier #writers on tumblr #markiplier #celci #burt #yandere?#fiction #iswm #request

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comfortmarvelimagines · 4 years ago

Text

You are Home, and Home is Safe

heyhey ! deciding to just get it over with and post this tonight (for those of you who don’t know what i’m talking about, a post explaining can be found here. side note, please be nice in my inbox, its been rough getting some of those comments). i am, however, going to continue to tag autistic!reader fics with #whenyoucantfindthequiet and #wycftq, so they’re easier to find. hope it’s what you’re after, nonnie, and i’m so so sorry it took so long !!

features : autistic!reader x mama!nat, lowkey asshole Tony Stark (it’s okay i didn’t make him really mean, just kinda well-meaning but misplaced/ mistimed)

warnings : uhhh i guess meltdowns, some self-injurious behaviour

Words are hard. Always have been, always will be.

You haven't always had a family. For years you were passed from foster home to foster home, with a consistent message: you were too much. Your needs were too high, your behaviour too confusing, your struggles too much to deal with. It got to a point where you began to question yourself, your diagnoses and trauma, wondering if it was all in your head or for attention like you were told over and over.

That changed when you met Nat.

It wasn’t immediate of course. There was the initial period of complete and total distrust, of another stranger whose life you were thrust into the middle of, floundering and drowning with no support. There was shutdown after shutdown. The trauma of being ignored and punished for meltdowns meant that you’d learned to internalise. You barely ate, and didn’t speak. But Nat met you where you were, unwaveringly. Was always calm, composed, voice level. Kept food out on the kitchen bench at all times, figuring out your safe foods and keeping them stocked. Realised you liked small enclosed spaces and stocked your bedroom with beanbags, pillows, stuffies and blankets, a permanent blanket fort taking up residence in the living space. Perhaps the most wonderful was her commitment to listening to you, with or without words. The superspy was quick to recognise your shutdown states from body language alone and responded quickly, with two option questions and the request to tap the hand of the answer you wanted.

You almost wanted to feel embarrassed, humiliated, of the accommodations she made so immediately. But she always spoke to you conversationally and never in an infantilizing tone, like so many before her, and the trust you held for her grew. It didn’t always grow in a way that you felt was positive, though. As weeks passed you felt your shutdowns turn into meltdowns and silence into frustrated screams. You didn’t want to hurt her. You didn’t want to feel ungrateful or angry or like any of this was on purpose but somehow she knew. As she held you close after each one she reminded you that your body was unlearning trauma, that you were safe, that you were loved so fully and unconditionally and nothing, including meltdowns, would change that. The way she held you felt like home.

But no one else was like Nat. Social workers were condescending, school was overwhelming, nowhere was safe. So you stuck to Nat. It wasn’t long after you were placed with her that she pulled you out of school, realising that they were doing more harm than good, and she was always there for homeschool. Not looking over your shoulder, but present. You could hear her humming through the walls, or swearing as she dropped a spoon into a pot of soup on the stove again, and it was comforting. It wasn’t the apartment that was home, per say, but having a parent made it feel like one. If she went to the grocery store or a walk in the park you came with, ear defenders on, clinging to her sleeve for safety. She told you that she loved you a million times a day, until one day you said it back.

Words came easier after that. Simple things, like asking what’s for breakfast, became routine. It wasn’t just Nat softly illuminating the cramped space with hummed melodies and occasionally vulgar language but you as well, asking for help with homework or explaining a meme. It felt normal, comfortable, okay. The outside world was too much, but inside your home, the anxiety all but melted from your throat.

You never wanted to leave safety. You wanted to feel it all the time. It was warm and sweet and heavy but in a calm way, like a weighted blanket sinking into your joints. It started as a one-time-thing, after a particularly rough meltdown, but you started sleeping in Nat’s bed. It just felt… right. The panic that set in when Nat left the room and you didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing or if she was ever going to come back was so all-consuming and nauseating that going to sleep alone, in another room, unable to hear her was torturous. What if she abandoned you, gone in the night, social worker beckoning you on to the next uncaring couple, crowded foster family or group home? This way, when you woke at 2am from a nightmare, the first thing you heard was her even breathing. Home. Safe.

***

Tony Stark was something else. Nat eventually started to transition back to work, and, as being homeschooled permitted, brought you with her. Even in classified meetings where you weren’t allowed in you sat in corridors and made sure you could see her red braid through the frosted glass, glancing up from your laptop every few seconds to make sure she didn’t disappear while you wrote your English critique. The rest of Nat’s colleagues (it felt too weird to just casually refer to them as the Avengers and co) didn’t mention your presence, at least in front of you; it was as if they didn’t know what to say or how to say it. Not that you’d say anything back. Outside of the safety of home it was like the anxiety disconnected your brain from your throat, anything you wanted to say cut off before it reached your tongue. It was frustrating. The first few days ended in meltdowns when you reached the apartment and it felt weird and strange and almost like you were two different people but an all-round embarrassment of a child. It was weeks before things settled into a routine and a pattern of acknowledged non-acknowledgement. A pattern Stark ignored.

You were sitting at the island bench in the communal kitchen, drinking chocolate milk and typing out an assignment, when you heard both Nat and Tony heading down the hall towards you. They’d just come out of a meeting, you sitting watch outside the whole time, and Nat had sent you to the kitchen to wait for her while she headed upstairs with Tony to drop off some paperwork to an intern. You hadn’t thought much of it. Sure, you didn’t like being away from Nat at all, but if she was clear in where she was going and how long she was going for (provided it was only a short period), you did okay. It was okay, until you heard the discussion from down the hall.

“Damn, Nat, is that the longest you’ve been away from the kid?”

“No.”

“C’mon, Nat. I know the kid’s been through some shit, but this isn’t healthy. For either of you. What happens if you can’t get out of the mission next time? They’re gonna have to be away from you at some point. You can’t be in this line of work with a barnacle of a kid.”

You’d heard enough. As the topic changed and they entered the kitchen, you didn’t look up from your laptop in greeting.

***

Too much. Too clingy. Too anxious, too needy, too autistic, too much. You needed separation. Give Nat space. Of course she needed to work. The world needed her, and they didn’t need you tagging along. When you got home that night, you headed straight to your room. Buried yourself in the mountain of blankets and stuffies and waited until Nat came to check on you, facing the wall, feigning sleep. You doubt you fooled the former spy but nonetheless, she left you be, a whispered “I love you” hanging in the air as she creaked the door close behind her.

It was seconds before you broke. It felt like choking. All of the fear that was slowly reduced to an ebbing tide through months of living in a caring environment crashed on you like the mother of all tsunamis, saltwater running down your cheeks and into your mouth as if smothering all the words you wished you could scream. It lasted for hours and hours and it was relentless, painful, as if your heart was being ripped out and an empty throbbing numbness was expanding in its place. You were too much. Too much. Too much.

Nat stood outside your door at the time when she’d usually be gently waking you up, watching you unfurl and stretch yourself out of the cocoon of blankets you slept in every night. She knew something was wrong from lunch yesterday, and your isolation from her was concerning. She figured you needed space, but the sleep she knew was an act sat at the back of her mind and bugged her all night long. Even with that nagging suspicion that something was up, nothing prepared her for the way her heart sank when she came in and saw your body curled up, eyes red and barely open from exhaustion, pillow and face damp from tears.

She was at your side in seconds. Your resolve to cut yourself off melted at the sight of her open arms, safe, warm, home. And immediately your body melted. Hands running through your hair, the promise that you were safe, loved, worthy of support, the request to “tell me next time, please, you don’t need to deal with this on your own.”

For some reason, those were the words that broke out the first sounding sob in the 12 hours of silent crying. It was so loud and gut-wrenching and it almost didn’t feel like it came from you at all and it was such a weird feeling, and all of a sudden you were scratching at your arms to try and re-embody yourself and Nat was breathing calmly and deeply and gently rubbing your shoulders until you found yourself easing back into your physicality.

“Did you hear what Stark said yesterday?”

And just like that she figured it out, of course she did, because she’s a trained spy and that’s her job, to put the pieces together and slot the narrative into place. And god, were you grateful, because you couldn’t see yourself stringing sentences together to accuse none other than Iron Man himself of triggering waves of hurt just by stating what you’d convinced yourself was the truth. She was quick to reassure. You are loved, you are wanted, you are always welcome and will always be her child and what you need will always come first. The warm safety settled itself in your belly and you let the tiredness wash over you, drifting on a life raft of whispered Russian lullabies and Nat’s hand rubbing circles on your back. At peace.

Of course, you’d never tell Nat, but hearing her whisper-yell at Tony over the phone for being an insensitive dick was possibly one of the best moments of your life.

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knowyourworth-sellyoursoul · 4 years ago

Text

Proposal

Ask: Hii welcome to fandom 😆 i hope you have lots of fun 🤭❤ so i saw your post and i was thinking: could you please write Bucky proposing to fem!reader? Like he tries to come up with something special but gets a bit nervous and ends up just telling reader why he loves her and does the whole kneeling thing hahaha 💗

Thank you so much for your ask @alotofrandomfangirling. Here it is!

This got away from me and I am not sorry???

Author’s Note: Brief mention of anxiety. This is fluff central. Seriously it is going to rot your teeth.

This is my first fic for this fandom and I would love to have more prompts! I am just getting back into the writing game and this was so fun to do! Also in my world I do not acknowledge Nat, Steve and Tony’s deaths. RIP Marvel but I’m different.

Bucky paced anxiously inside your small foyer. You had sent a text twenty minutes ago letting him know you were on the way home. He flexed his arms in the t-shirt he was wearing-one of your favorites on him- and glanced at the door again when he passed it, willing it to open. On his second pass in front of the door, he pat his pocket, making sure the small box was still there. A snort behind him made him look up. Steve stood in the doorway leading into the living room.

“It’s going to be fine Buck.”

Bucky grunted and continued pacing. Steve watched for a moment before snagging his shoulder, stopping him on his fifth pass in front of the door.

“Seriously Buck, what’s got you all worried.”

Bucky looked him in the eye for only a moment before his thoughts came tumbling out.

“The flowers. I ordered too many. She has allergies Steve! She’s not even going to be able to stop sneezing long enough for me to-“

“Buck they’re carnations-her favorite- which she told you was because they didn’t make her allergies act up and-”

“-‘they last forever’,” Bucky interrupted, smiling at the words you said each and every time he picked up your favorite flowers for you. “What about the candles? We have cats Steve! Those goblins knock everything over if it so much as touches a surface they want to sit on.”

Steve laughed as one of your cats, Queen, took the opportunity to come prancing through the foyer to follow her brother up the stairs. Bucky watched as she swished her tail at him. Queen was originally your cat and she had not taken too kindly to her new brother, Bronx, that Bucky had introduced to the family after a particularly awful mission.

Bucky took a deep breath and smiled at Steve. “Okay I guess the cats won’t be a problem.”

Steve nodded his agreement and released Bucky’s arm. “Just relax pal. She’s going to say yes.”

From the other room a large crash came through the walls. Bucky ignored it. Sam and Nat had said they would help set up the living room for tonight. They could handle it. Another second later he heard a curse through the wall and a quiet thump that had him wondering if they had broken your favorite picture frame. Steve held up his hands to keep him in the foyer as he went to investigate. With the situation under control, Bucky began pacing again.

Three minutes and twenty seconds later, Bucky heard your car pull into the driveway. He took a deep breath and shook out his arms, the metal clinking lightly when he shook his metal hand roughly. “She’s here guys.” Without another word he watched Nat, Sam, and Steve leave through your side door. He could only hope they had successfully set up the room for him.

Bucky took one last steadying breathe as your keys jangled in the door and you pushed it open in a flurry of movement. You looked windswept, keys in your left hand, three bags slung over your right shoulder and your phone pressed into your ear through what Bucky could only assume was the reversal of gravity.

“-and I understand your frustrations Ms. Danner, but we need to work together to come up with a plan for Dante. At this rate, he is going to fail English I and I certainly don’t want him to have to repeat the class again next year.”

Bucky met your eyes as you registered his presence and couldn’t help his breathe catching for a moment. You smiled at him largely, eyes crinkling slightly and cheeks turning a dusty pink. He returned your smile and grabbed the bags off of your shoulder as you kicked the door closed. Seeing you working was something he could never grow tired of. He asked constantly to come watch you teach at your high school. Each time you laughed lightly at him and smacked his chest playfully. “The students would think I’m trying to intimidate them with my extremely handsome and famous boyfriend.” He would roll his eyes at your compliments and ask once more. Your response was always the same, “Once I can introduce you as my husband and people can see you’re mine, then sure.” It always made Bucky laugh how possessive you were over him. It wasn’t an unhealthy amount as he knew you trusted him, but he still loved to see you want him and want other people to know you were his.

You brushed past him with a small peck on his cheek while kicking off your shoes. You headed up the stairs and into the bedroom. Bucky knew you would be changing into your comfiest clothes. He walked your bags into the office to the right of the foyer and set them down. As he waited for you to come back downstairs, he watched Queen and Bronx run down the stairs. Before he could grab them, they sprinted into the living room.

“Hey babe!” He turned to see you coming down the stairs in your sweatpants and tank-top, hair pulled back into a messy bun and glasses sitting askew on your face. He smiled as you reached him and wrapped your arms around his waist. He corrected your glasses as you looked up at him. Before leaning in to kiss you, he bopped your nose gently with his metal finger, sending your face into a little scrunch that he adored.

“Hey doll.” He gave you a kiss. “How was the last day before break?”

You sighed and leaned your head against his chest. He could feel the tension leaving your muscles as you stood there, just breathing. It was something that you had started doing a long time ago to help him with his anxiety and dissociative episodes. You called it co-regulation. Bucky tightened his arms around you as he matched his breathing to yours, finding the moment with you in his arms the calmest he had felt all day. After a minute of standing together, breathing and hugging, he felt you pick up your head.

“It was fine. I had to make the last few phone calls about failing students. It seems even after the Blip, kids don’t want to show up to school even to socialize.”

Bucky laughed and let his arms slide away from yours. As he opened his mouth to respond, a massive crash sounded from the living room. You both turned in that direction to see Bronx and Queen running back out from there and up the stairs.

“Shit.” Bucky muttered as you walked into the living room. He heard you let out a large gasp and an “oh my gods”. He followed you and groaned at the scene before him.

Where there was once what Bucky could only assume a delicate display of flowers was now a massive puddle with petals scattered everywhere. Candles were knocked down from their perches and wax covered surfaces Bucky wasn’t even sure it could get removed from.

“Those goblins! I am going to put them back out on the streets I swear!”

Bucky watched as you surveyed the room with a questioning look. Suddenly the box in his pocket was extremely heavy. He felt his right palm get sweaty and he flexed the fingers on his metal hand.

“This isn’t what I planned.”

You turned around to him, the questioning gaze still sitting on your face.

Bucky glanced around the living room, eyes frantically searching for something that he could anchor himself with. It was ruined. He couldn’t propose to you like this. It wasn’t right. He felt his pulse jump slightly as your hand gently rested on his chest. His eyes snapped back to yours and it wasn’t until he felt your hand moving up and down rapidly that he realized he was hyperventilating. You looked at him calmly, waiting for his breathing to slow down.

“I wanted it to be perfect.”

He watched you nod.

“It isn’t.”

You smiled then, shaking your head. “It’s our home Bucky. It’s always going to be perfect.”

“There’s wax in the carpet.”

“I have a trick for that.”

“I’m going to throw those two monsters out onto the streets.”

“No, you won’t.”

“I will!”

You laughed then. “Honey, you’d miss them too much. You’re their dad through and through. You once threatened the neighbor when they complained about Queen running into their garden.”

“She’s a cat! They can’t expect her to understand property lines.” Bucky smiled and then looked around your ruined living room. On the mantle was one flower still intact. He reached over and grabbed it, handing it over to you. You plucked it from his hands and pressed it to your nose.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

He waited until your eyes were open again before kneeling down. His metal hand whipped the box out of his pocket and quickly flipped the lid. Inside was a beautiful ring, subtle in design and shining brightly against the back satin of the box.

“I wanted this to be a romantic moment for you because we aren’t doing this a second time. I don’t intend on letting you go anywhere (Y/N). For as long as you’ll have me, I’ll be here.” He watched as a few tears fell from your eyes and you began to tremble. His other hand reached out to hold your waist gently, grounding both you and him in the moment.

“I thought that I was too broken to find something special like this. To find peace. Then I met you and my entire life shifted. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I never went to pick up Peter that day and I just can’t imagine. I love you so much sometimes I wonder if there is room for anything else in me. I want our life together. I want our family- cats included.”

At this you chuckled and dropped down to your knees in front of him. Both hands framing his face as your watery eyes searched his. Bucky smiled and plucked the ring from the satin, holding it out to you.

“Will you marry me?”

It took only two seconds as you collected yourself to choke out a yes. Bucky grinned wildly and slid the ring onto your finger. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him. He kissed you back enthusiastically, pulling you closer and then both of you up into a standing position.

Bucky pulled away and looked down as something grazed against his calf. Queen looked up at him and meowed. Bronx came into the room and laid in the mess of petals on the carpet, proceeding to groom himself.

“We’re late for their dinner time.”

Bucky groaned and as he pulled away from you.

“Can’t I have one moment!?”

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes x you #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

Text

If it means a lot to you (a.i)

Pairing: Ashton Irwin X Reader

Summary: Songfic based on the song “If it means a lot to you” by A Day to Remember. You haven’t heard from Ashton in weeks, could you endure all the pain while he’s on tour or it would become too much?

Warnings: ANGST, strong language, overthinking and anxiety. Also some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word Count: 2.6 K

Author’s Note: I was feeling so angsty today and this was the product of me pouring out my feelings into a fic. Reblogs, coments and feedback are always welcome and apreciated! I would love to hear your thoughts 💙 Hope you like it and Happy reading🦋

My Materialist

It felt good to be on the stage again. It felt more than good, actually. The sound of screaming fans, calling out your names in pure ecstasy as one by one the songs pass and reverberates throughout the whole stadium, or arena or a simple, yet packed, venue. The adrenaline that cursed through the veins of each one of them as they gave their all, feeling how the base makes the entire stage shake with rhythms they know by memory and would never get tired off. It felt good to be on the stage again, to be on tour again. But not everyone gets to have everything they want.

You were sitting on your sofa, getting lost in thought as the TV played some old episodes of your favorite show as background noise of your own pity party. It’s been two months since Ashton went away on tour with his band again, and even though you knew this made him happy, you always hated when he had to leave.

The feeling of loneliness crept in two weeks and a half ago, when he started to miss your calls and texted you only once a day. You knew he was busy, you knew he must be tired, but so are you.

You understand that this is his job, you’ve been through this before, but the separation was never easy. You always worried about his safety, how he’s dealing with stuff and if he ever misses you or if he had someone else he’d rather be with while you were away and tucked under your shared sheets in LA. He always came through though, pushing those thoughts away by reassuring his love, either by facetime or a simple call. But you haven’t seen him or heard of him in so long that you couldn’t help but drown yourself in a pity parade for one. You miss him, you need him. And it’s still so long until you could see each other again.

A notification on your phone pulls you away for a while, it takes a few moments before you realize that it was in fact your phone and not a trick of your mind. You jump right to it, thinking, hoping that it would be Ashton trying to call you or even a simple text. The beating of your heart ran like a horse before you could even register that it was just a notification from instagram, you just saw his name and quickly swiped to open it.

@ ashtonirwin: Thank you for singing with us xx

The post was simple, you could see the crowd going wild as Andy took a photo of the boys in their element. Ashton was smiling behind his drum kit, taking in the scenery of a thousand screaming fans that were there just to see them, to sing with them. And it hurt you.

It hurts not being there. Not being the one that was at the other end of the smile, and oh, how you miss that smile.

You opened the camera roll, forgetting to put a like on the post as your mind decided to add some salt to the wound. You scrolled a few pictures down until you found what you were looking for: A video of Ashton.

His smile was clear even before you pressed play. You remember the day he sent that to you, it was at the beginning of the tour and you were feeling a little needy, so he decided to send you this while you were asleep. He knew it would make you feel better once you woke up. And it did.

It was a simple video of him just talking to the camera, but it always made you feel better and you hope this time it will as you pressed play.

“Hey, darling” Ashton said with a smile so wide you could see every dimple and wrinkle on his face “I hope you’re good tonight, I know you don’t feel right when I’m leaving… It’s not easy for me either, being away from you and being unable to kiss you and cuddle you like we do. I miss you, dear”

The sadness in his voice moved you and you wished you were there with him, doing your best to push that sadness away. “Tour’s going great so far, I really wish you were here to see it. But you will be, one day and it will be awesome. But I can’t come back home till they’re singing, and oh, how amazing it is to hear them sing back at us, it’s almost as beautiful as to hear you sing to me one of our songs, even if it’s to mock our oldest songs” His smile lit up the screen ashe giggled “Just wait till I get home, baby. It won’t be long now, I swear. I love you”

“I love you” You whispered to the face on the screen as the video stopped.

The tears were rolling down your face and you couldn’t do anything to stop it. The video always helped to make you feel better but, somehow, it just made missing him worse.

It wasn’t enough, you needed him. You needed him and he was MIA, the only news you get from him are from social media and you couldn’t handle it anymore.

You couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same.

Ashton was laying in his bunk bed, smiling as he scrolled down twitter to read the reactions to tonight’s concert. It was one of their best and he was very proud of the energy they put on stage for the world to see.

He always enjoyed tour life, visiting new cities and countries every night, giving his all in all the concerts and spending time with his best friends. It was all he ever wanted since he was a kid and now he was able to experience it.

“Hey, Ash!” Luke called his attention from the bunk across the small hall “Could you tell Y/N that Sierra wants to talk? She said it was something about a recipe but it seems like she can’t get in touch with them”

Ashton frowned, you were never the one to shy away from their friends, always being the most social one of the two of them “Uh, yeah. Sure man”

“Thanks, and tell Y/N we are missing them, it’s been too long since we saw each other”

‘It has been a long time’ Ashton thought, or at least it seemed like it because he was sure he sent a text earlier today and…

Ashton’s expression froze when he saw that he didn’t text you today, or yesterday or the day before that. He didn’t even respond to your last text.

Y/N: Tell me something sweet to get me by.

How long ago was that? Why didn’t he notice before?

A feeling of guilt ran through him, feeling disgusted at himself for forgetting about you, the most important thing in his life. How could he? You must’ve been feeling low that day to text him something like that, he knew how much you hated when he had to leave. You didn’t text him after that, maybe you were okay now, but he still needed to talk to you, to apologize.

He sighed when he saw what time it was, now it wasn’t time for a facetime call, knowing that you were probably asleep by now. He would apologize to you in the morning.

Little did he know that you were still awake, sobbing and calling out his name through your cries.

You woke up when the sunlight hit your face. You furrowed your eyebrows at your surroundings, realizing that you fell asleep on the couch. Luckily it was a Saturday, so you had no other responsibilities other than crying yourself to sleep for maybe the tenth time in a row?

You knew it wasn’t fair, for you or for him, to be enduring this kind of pain. But if you meant a lot to him, why hasn’t he responded? or calling to check up on you? This place felt lonelier by the minute, his mugs were in the cupboard, some of his clothes were in the closet, his music room remains untouched and yet it seemed like he was never here at all to begin with, just a ghost of his memory floating around to remind you of what you were missing.

You felt the tears about to crash down again, but you had no energy left in your body to cry. You were exhausted, needy, lonely and down right miserable while the love of your life was living his best life without you in it.

Ashton was living his best life, but he still felt something was missing. He sat down on the couch the venue offered, it wasn’t as comfortable as he would expect but it didn’t matter. He knew he had to talk to you.

He has been a shitty boyfriend lately, he understood and hated that. You didn’t deserve to be pushed aside like he did and he felt awful. So, with his heart in his sleeve, hoping you’ll forgive him and that you were okay, he picked up the phone and called.

Ashton heard the beeping tone three times before you decided to answer “...Hey, sweety” You said with a sigh.

Ashton could tell you were sad, a punch in the guts hurt less than hearing your voice so small and defeated. “Hey, darling,” He said,making his tone a little bit more uplifting, thinking it might help “How are you? Sierra said that you weren’t answering your phone, is everything okay?”

Hearing his voice, his cheerful tone as if nothing has happened or as if this wasn’t the first time in weeks that you’ve heard of him, hurt more than you could ever expect. You felt silent tears rolling down your face as you contemplated what to say about that.

“I just-”

“Ash, we need you for soundcheck” A voice said on the other line.

Ashton raised his hand, annoyed at the interruption, asking the boys to wait a second. He needed to hear from you first. All three of the guys backed up immediately when they saw the serious expression on the drummer’s face.

“Sorry, love. I think the boys need me” He said, hoping you wouldn’t get mad.

“But, what about me?” You asked before you realized what was coming out of your mouth.

“What?” Ashton said with a concerning tone.

“I need you here, Ashton” You cried, unable to keep the tears at bay anymore “I need you here tonight, and I know that you don’t wanna be leaving and I get it, I swear I totally get it and I’m not trying to pressure you or anything, it’s okay that you want this”

Hearing you cry through the phone broke Ashton’s heart. He did this, he caused this. How could he neglect you like that?

“I want it but I don’t need it” He quickly reassured you.

“Yes, you want it. But I can’t help it, I-” Your voice shook “I just feel complete when you’re by my side. I know I can be needy sometimes and believe me, I hate that as much as you do, probably. But, Ash, I haven’t heard from you in weeks! Yes, a morning text now and then but sweety, I don’t think you understand how bad this hurts”

Ashton felt the tears burning in his eyes, your broken voice sounded like an echo in his head, making him wish he could go back and fix his mistakes, to take all your pain away.

“Do you know how hard it is to be in this house alone, not knowing if you are okay or if you miss me? I found myself walking around aimlessly, trying to hold on to the memory of you here, to even a hint that I wasn’t dreaming when I held you close because it’s been so long and I don’t think I can take it anymore. Knowing that you can’t come home till they’re singing, till everyone is singing back at you”

“B-baby-” Ashton said, not caring that he sounded desperate, because he was. He didn’t like where this conversation was going “Baby, I know I fucked up, big time. But don’t you ever doubt that you are the most important thing to me, I swear. Darling, if you-” He said, swallowing the lump in his throat “If you can wait till I get home, I swear that when tomorrow comes this will all be in our past”

You stared blankly ahead as you heard him say those things. It broke you to your core, but you knew what you had to do. It was the best for both of you.

“Ash, you know you can’t give me what I need. Not right now and I can’t ask that from you, I would never ask that from you and you know it. Even though you mean so much to me, I need you to be happy, I need to be happy and maybe we thought that we could find happiness together but Ash, this ain’t it”

“Darling, wait-”

“I love you, but I can’t wait through everything. I can’t keep crying myself to sleep every night wishing for a text, a call, a sign that you are okay. And I can’t ask you to give up your life just to be with me, we both know it’s not going to work and we’ll be miserable-”

“Is this really happening?” Ashton interrupted you.

He was pacing back and forth in the little room, tears falling freely as he understood the words you were trying to say. You were leaving him. You were leaving him and he couldn't blame you. He knew it was too much to ask but he hoped… if he had tried hard enough, if he hadn’t neglected you the way that he did and invalidating you by not acknowledging your feelings, maybe this wouldn’t be the outcome of his mistakes.

“I love you,” He pleaded.

“Ash…”

“No, Y/N!” I know, I fucked up but please! Please, darling, don't leave me” He begged “I swear I’ll never be happy again, not even if we stay friends so don’t even dare to say that. Y/N. I love you. I love you, darling. You are the love of my life and -” He choked, overwhelmed with grief of what he just lost.

“Ash, please don’t make it harder” You cried, silently as your heart broke in a thousand pieces “We knew it’d happen eventually”

“No we fucking didn’t! I didn’t! I want you in my life, Y/N. And I know I sucked at letting you see that but- I swear, if you can wait till I get home, I swear we can make this last, baby. Please”

You stayed silent, wanting to be able to believe him right now, but knowing this was for the best, even if it hurt, it’s what needed to be done so both of you could be happy. And you want nothing more than for him to be happy and free to do whatever he wants, even if it breaks your heart.

“Goodbye, Ash. I love you” You said, voice breaking at the end “I’ll always love you”

“Y/N, don’t-” He pleaded one last time before you ended the call “FUCK” He yelled, throwing the phone to god knows where.

He lost you.

Luke, Calum and Michael came running towards the room when they heard Ashton yell. However, they didn’t expect to find their friend sitting on the floor, sobbing as he started to hyperventilate.

“Mate, what happened?” Ashton took a big breath.

“I fucked up, Cal” He said with a voice as broken as his heart “I fucked up and I don’t know if I can fix it”

Part 2

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melyaliz · 3 years ago

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Remember Me 9

Master List

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x OC

Notes: I'm due in a little over a month... and it's the weirdest feeling.

All Masterlists @melyalizarchive

Connect with me! AO3 / Instagram / Pinterest / Newsletter

DONATE

Check out my published work.

--------Olive---------

“Oh my god, I can’t breath” Olive giggled, crumbling into Eliott’s lap. Her husband smiled down at her gently playing with her hair.

“This is serious Olive!” Eliott said, his smile melting away to a very strained serious one. His dark brown eyes studying her face, “it’s the greatest story ever told. Guy dates a woman, woman’s ex is a mob boss who is involved in an illegal fashion, mob boss’s daughter almost gets killed. Now the guy must use his skills from the years of being in the other four movies to get revenge on his girlfriend’s daughter’s father. Tale as old as time “

“I’m just saying they should have killed the guy and the daughter could have gone full ninja killer and taken out her father and his gang.” Olive giggled, wiping her eyes from the tears of laughter that had been rolling down her cheeks.

“That would probably have been a better movie… but would it also have bad dummy shots?” her husband asked.

“Of course” sitting up inspiration struck, “I have an idea!” Eliott watched her as she sat straight up. “You write the action and I will write the romance.”

“How much romance will there be if the daughter is 12 years old.”

“Well romance and character stuff.” she shrugged, “And you can add in all the poorly done dummy blow-ups you want.”

“I will,” Eliott said nodded, “But only if I can use sex dolls.”

“Like, Hard Ticket to Hawaii? Oh, wait! Now hear me out” Olive giggled scooting up so she was now straddling her husband taking his hands in her own. A goofy smile spread across Eliott’s face as he weaved his fingers into her own.

“Oh are we at the wait stage of drunk Olive?”

“Shhhh” she giggled leaning forward slightly brushing her nose on his, “But really, this is serious.” Cleaning her throat for dramatic effect she continued, “a Hard Ticket to Hawaii Death Wish 4 crossover.”

“Oh girl,” Eliott said, his voice hitting a higher pitch on his girl . Olive giggled pushing herself forward so she was resting on his chest.

“I love you.”

“No way really?” Eliott gave a fake gasp “That’s sooo weird because you know what? I love you too”

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“ So just be ready,” Kirishima said, prepping the gang, “She’s… the same but different. ”

The group nodded in unison, game faces ready for whatever was coming. And that something was slowly walking toward when in the form of Bakugou and Olive.

Right off the bat it was obvious something was off. While they were holding hands it looked unnatural. Bakugou’s shoulders were hunched and he seemed to be looking anywhere but at Olive who was talking in the city as if she had never walked down this street before. Her large hazel eyes taking in everything, mouth slightly open.

“Olive! Bakugou!” Kirishima said, waving. At the sound of his voice, Olive looked up and waved, a smile on her face as she looked over at the group of others standing with them. Her eyes intently taking everyone in as if searching for something that wasn’t there

“ Hello! ” she said as they both stood there awkwardly. Hands had been let go and now hanging at their sides. Limp as if unsure what to do.

There were a few more awkward nodes before Kirishima led them all inside toward the balcony seating, their usual stop. “T his place is amazing! ” Olive said looking around her eyes wide as she took in the atmosphere. Everyone froze as the blissfully unaware woman turned to her husband, “ How did you find this place Katsuki? ”

“ I didn’t, you did,” he said as everyone around him winched slightly. The awkwardness was so thick you could almost taste it, and it didn't taste good.

“Oh.” her voice soft as she bit her top lip looking down at her purple painted nails. She had found her polish that morning and had decided to try out the fun colors.

There was a long pause when Mina spoke up, “How’s Clare and Lilly and the others? ”

Olive blinked looking up, “ You know the girls? ”

“ Yeah, we have wine and Rupaul's Drag race nights. I think the last one we did was about a month ago wasn’t it? ” the last statement, more of a question than a comment.

“Uhhh” Olive shrugged unsure how to respond

“ She doesn’t remember it ” Kaminari mumbled to the little pinked haired girl. And again there was a lapse of awkwardness. Turning to Momo from across the table Olive pointed to her shirt.

“ I love your shirt so cute! ” she said, stumbling slightly over her words. Momo lit up pointing to the shirt that Olive had gotten Momo for the hero’s birthday. The words “Females are strong as hell” in English was written in script across the chest. She had gotten it because she always told Momo, who was the 4th hero and number 1 female, that she was the most badass out of everyone (and that ranking didn’t mean shit). Also, they were both addicted to “Unbreakable Kimmy Shimitt”

“Thank you, I’m Momo '' the dark-haired hero said, noticing how much Olive was struggling trying to piece together who was who. Before they had come Momo and her fiancee Shoto Todoroki had decided to treat her like they had met for the first time. “ and this is Shodo, my fiancee .”

“I’m Mina! ” Mina said quickly and everyone else followed suit with a quick round of introductions.

“Yeah, I have pictures ” Olive lit up at the introduction. “The fair.”

“What picture did you have ?” Momo asked, leaning forward.

“This one of the fair? ” Olive said, holding up the phone leaning over the table to hand her the phone. Watching them Kirishima chuckled leaning toward Bakugou.

“Why are they across the table from each other?”

Bakugou shrugged, rolling his eyes, not shocked by the poor seating choices. After coordinating this whole night was he really now in charge of seating as well?

“Oh, that was so fun. ” Momo smiled looking at the photo. Memories of her trip to the US where Olive had given her the grand tour.

“ Oh is that the American Fair? What other pictures do you have? Do you have the one from when we all went to that spa? Do you have the one of us in those masks making the peace sign? What about... ” Mina was bursting with questions going way too fast for Olive to keep up. The poor girl’s smile looked slightly strained as she tried to look like she was understanding more than every other word from the excited pink haired girl.

“You’re going to fast for her! ” Bakugou barked out noticing the very overwhelmed look in his wife’s eyes, “ She's still learning .”

“Oh sorry Olive” Mina whispered looking down at her hands feeling her face flush.

“Don’t yell at her.” Olive said good naturally in English nudging Bakugou playfully with her shoulder. The blonde looked like the wind had been knocked out of him her words cutting him harder than he wanted to admit. “Which picture did you want to see Mina?”

Before the pink girl could respond the waiter came up to introduce herself and take drink orders. A look of desperation came over Olive’s face as she looked down at the menu. Anxiety quickly flooded her system. The social pressure of trying to be normal while navigating a language she was still learning was extremely stressful. And this was besides the fact she had no idea what was good here or what she would like to order. Did she had a regular drink here? If so, what was it?

Desperately she looked down at the Japanese characters as if they would suddenly jump out and give her all the answers.

A large hand slammed over the menu making Olive lookup. Bakugou’s intense red gaze met her hazel one.

“I’ll order for you,” he said softly in English, more of a statement than an offer. His red eyes studding her as if reading all her thoughts. She smiled softly at him making him flush slightly looking away from her to the waiter ordering quickly.

“Thank you” she whispered, her hand gently brushing against his arm. Her fingertips leave a trail of goosebumps in their wake. It felt like her touch was fire.

Quickly he rubbed his arm as if he could put out the flames that were licking at his skin.

Fuck. He had it bad.

“Yeah well you looked so lost.” he grumbled looking away turning to Kirishima who was intently watching the conversation with the most annoying smile on his face. “ What are you looking at? ” Struggling Kirishima’s annoying smirk didn’t fade but he offered no explanation for his expression.

Typical.

Lucky for Bakugou the conversation shifted to other things. Work, life, weird food Kaminari had tried last week on his trip to Bermuda.

Olive quickly picked up her conversation with Momo about the place she was looking into for her wedding and life in general. Since they were - as Kirishima had pointed out- sitting across the table from each other, Olive had to basically lean up over the top of the table to shout of the music that was playing in the background.

Bakugou couldn’t help but frown watching as his wife literally looked like she was crawling over. Her eyes bright as the two talked. It was the most enthusiastic she had been in a long time.

“If you want to be with her so bad go sit over there, ” he said, it came out much harder than he had meant it to be. But he was annoyed and sometimes -ok most times- had a hard time masking his emotions. Olive blinked looking up at him confused for a moment before getting up from her seat moving over - much to Momo’s delight- to sit down next to her. He could see her pulling out her phone probably to show off pictures of Dolemite. Or maybe to ask more about the people who littered it. He could tell she felt awkward about asking him those questions. Knowing it hurt.

But also he wanted her next to him. To feel her next to him. To know she was still there with him.

“ OMG I love this song !” Mina squealed as a song came on.

“ Let’s dance, ” Momo said, getting up knowing Olive loved to dance. Normally she was the one dragging the girls onto the floor. At the promise of dancing Olive lit up as she stood to follow them. However before she left she glanced over at Bakugou, as if checking in with him.

“Why are you looking at me? Go!”

Olive flashed him a wide smile before following the girls into the crowd. The other two girls grabbed her laughing as they swayed with the music. Not having to talk just laughing and enjoying each other’s company. The universal girl code of good music and alcohol.

Three songs later and she was slowing down, taking a moment to breathe looking around the dance floor.

And that was when she thought she saw him.

Long blonde hair pulled up in a man bun. A basic flannel shirt, on the shorter side with broad shoulders leaning on the bar, his back to her.

Eliott

Her brain zoned in on it, for a second she forgot he was dead. Forgot he was gone.

That first month after his death she saw him everywhere. Heard his laugh. Sensed his presence. Slowly it had gotten better. His presence slowly fading from the bright sun of the day to the dark of night or in those first moments when she was waking up. And even more recently his presence had slowly faded. Her brain too busy trying to understand this whole new life she was living to focus on the loss.

But as the man turned and she saw it was clearly not him something washed over her. Hit her right in the face crushing her inside.

She didn’t even realize she was crying until Momo came up and hugged her.

“What happened?” she whispered in English as Olive raised her hands to her face trying to stop the tears. But they wouldn’t stop. Her chest so heavy it felt like her whole body was filled with sadness and the only way out was through her tears.

“I just… I thought… I saw Eliott.” she hiccuped, “I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Momo asked, frowning as she studied Olive. Mina, whose English was not as good, hovered around them both rubbing Olive’s shoulder trying to understand what had happened.

“I just… can't stop crying.” Olive sobbed trying to take deep breaths to gain control of herself.

“It’s been a lot for you.” Momo said, “come here” she hugged the girl for a moment before pulling away.

“ It’s ok to miss someone. ” Mina said, holding out a napkin she had grabbed from the bar.

“Yeah and for you it’s been very recent.” Monmo added nodding

“I just feel guilty… Katsuki.” Olive fumbled through the words trying to explain all the emotions that were swerling like some muddy concoction in her chest.

“ Oh Bakugou can get over it. ” Momo said, waving her hand trying to keep her words simple so both girls could understand what she was saying, “ he gets all moody but he really cares about you. ”

“ Yeah, the first time I met you he was so… relaxed. ” Mina said, trying to find the right words, “ None of us had ever seen him that way before. ”

“ He was happy. ” Momo nodded, “ He will be fine, you need to focus on yourself.”

From across the bar Bakugou had lost sight of where the girls had gone. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker as the night had dragged on. He knew Olive would be safe with Momo and Mina there but still, he wanted to make sure she was ok.

And then he caught a glimpse of them. Standing at one of the far corners of the dance floor. Momo and Mina standing over Olive, hovering around her with concern on their faces. For a moment Mina moved and he could see Olive clearly, holding a small white napkin wiping her eyes.

Shit.

“ Hey bro where are you ?”

“ Just drink your beer. ” Bakugou interrupted Kirishima as he quickly made his way to the dance floor. Momo’s eyes met his and she shook her head but he didn’t care. Olive wasn’t Momo’s wife, she was his. They were supposed to be distracting her, not reminding her about her memory loss.

“Hey,” he said, reaching out for her. Olive turned eyes wide, still slightly glassy from her tears. Her makeup smudged. “Dance with me.” pulling her away from the girls who looked like they were about to protest. But one death glare from Bakugou told them not too.

He led her across the floor, his red eyes studying her as she took a few shaky breaths. Trying to compose herself. After a few moments her body slowly relaxed letting him lead as he felt her slowly lose herself in the music again.

“You dance?” she asked looking up at him.

“Depends.” he said shrugging

“Humm” she hummed, nodding like Eliott was what she was thinking. Eliott Eliott Eliott. Even Momo got more out of her than him. He felt like she was more comfortable around everyone but him. “You know” she said leaning forward resting her head on his chest catching him off guard. “I like to be with you too.”

He froze, his stomach clutching tightly, his breath coming out in a short gasp. She looked up at him with those hazel eyes studying him. “What you said about Momo, I like being with you too.”

“I heard you the first time” he said sharply only to soften quickly.

“I… I obviously liked being with you before or I wouldn’t have married you.” she added a genuine grin spreading across her face.

“That would make sense.” He said nodding as they swayed in the music both caught up in their own thoughts. Eyes meeting, dancing in the lights overhead. For a second it felt as if time stood still and Olive was sworn she wasn’t in real life but in some weird musical romcom. As if her whole life was some televised novel filled with hi-jinks and drama.

Caught up in the moment Bakugou gently leaned forward, his nose brushing hers before pausing. Her heart leapt into her throat at the soft intimate touch. Crimson eyes searching hazel for a moment before moving closer, his warm breath caressing her ear.

“Let me kiss you?”

- GET TAGGED -

Master List

Story Tag: @0hmydeku @inumorph @it-jinxed-us @myraticm

#bakugou katsuki smut #bakugou katsuki x oc #bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x you #bakugou katsuki

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crescent-quill-writings · 4 years ago

Text

Rockefeller Ice Rink

Fandom: Hamilton - Miranda

Words: 2489

Relationship: James Madison/Marquis de Lafayette

Additional tags: Fluff, Christmas, Ice Skating, Modern AU

Inspired by @ovrarches!

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

December in New York City was as charming as it was any other year. It was still early in the season, but the city had already been caught up in the full swing of the holiday spirit. Businesses had been decorated with reds, greens, and golds, and the landmarks of the city were preparing their own grand displays for the coming holidays.

James couldn’t help but smile as soft snowflakes landed amongst his eyelashes. As much as he tried to keep himself from getting caught up in the chaotic festivities of the city that never slept, the little things always got to him.

Once he turned the corner and ducked into the little niche of a cozy cafe, he pulled his ochre scarf below his chin, sighing as he left the winter-chilled air behind him. He allowed the scent of fresh coffee and seasonal spices to fill his nose as he stepped into line, and it didn’t take long before the attention of the barista was focused on him.

“I’ll take a dark chocolate mocha, hold the whipped cream.” He instructed quietly, offering the barista a nod in thanks as she went to prepare his drink and he took a seat in a booth by the window.

James was quiet as he waited for his drink, watching as the hustle and bustle carried each passersby throughout their day. He was happy that the café was quiet save for the instrumental carols that provided a classic, festive atmosphere to the little café. It was pleasant, although James would never fully admit it.

Soon, his name was called and he stood to collect his drink, his lips twitching upwards at the little pair of reindeer painted on the side of the cup as he returned to his seat.

He barely got a chance to bring the mug of warm chocolate to his lips before a familiar face stepped through the door.

“Jemmy! It’s good to see you,” Thomas called, walking past the counter to sit across from his friend, taking a moment to shake some snow out of his hair before he continued, “How’s the season been treating you?”

“It’s nothing that isn’t normal,” James replied with a small sigh as he set down his mug and leaned back in his seat, “I appreciate your concern, Thomas, but you shouldn’t worry yourself over me. We’re not kids anymore; I’ve mostly grown out of my asthma.”

Thomas gave him a bit of a strained smile as he folded his hands in front of him. He was bouncing his leg; James could feel the motion slightly shaking the table and creating little ripples in the surface of his mocha.

“Something on your mind?”

“Sort of,” Thomas began again, giving James another smile, this one nervous instead, “Are you busy at all today?”

“Not particularly, why?” James knew what Thomas’ tone meant. He was about to ask for a favour, or spring some social event on him. Or both.

“Do you remember Lafayette? I roomed with him when I was working in France a little while ago,” Thomas replied, tilting his head as he tapped his fingers on the table, “He actually just moved here last month, made fast friends with Alexander and his group too.”

“And you're telling me this because…?”

“I may or may not have already told him that you could go ice skating at Rockefeller with all of us today.”

And there it was. James could only sigh in response, shaking his head and pinching the bridge of his nose, “Thomas, you know I’m not exactly a social person.”

“I know, I know,” Thomas replied with a sigh of his own, looking down and away from James in shame, “But he really wants to meet you, Jemmy. I told him a lot about you back in France and he’s excited about this.”

“Don’t ‘Jemmy’ me now,” James muttered, turning his gaze to his mocha in an attempt to ignore the pouts and whines that Thomas was trying to persuade him with.

“Come on, Jemmy, just this once? For me? It’s only a couple of hours, and I’ll owe you big time…”

“Fine,” James relinquishes with a huff, “You better not forget about this favour either.”

He didn’t give Thomas time to respond before he stood, taking his mug with him as he approached the counter and cleared his throat to get the attention of the barista.

“Could you put this in a to-go cup?”

*~*~*~*~*~*

The Rockefeller Centre was busy enough any other time of year, packed with native New Yorkers and tourists alike. The holiday season only dialled up the crowds to eleven.

The Christmas tree, though it was still in the process of being decorated before its grand unveiling, still caught the gaze of the many from the grandeur of its sheer size. There were streams of people coming in and out of the stores surrounding the square, the buildings of which were all dressed up in festive colours and to market themselves for the holidays.

It was New York’s beautiful, chaotic, and imperfect celebrations were well underway.

“I still miss the South’s way of celebrating this season,” James muttered as he did his best to keep up with Thomas’ long strides while he struggled to swim upstream through the mass of people, “It’s much classier, and causes much less anxiety too.”

“As much as I agree with you, James,” Thomas replied with a shake of his head, looking down and back at his much shorter friend, “Try to keep your chin up, alright? We’re here to have fun with some friends.”

James only huffed in response, looking down at the cup he held in his gloved hands. He just hoped he’d get a chance to finish his mocha soon.

“Thomas, mon ami! I am so glad that you could make it.”

James looked up as another man began to approach them. His resemblance to Thomas was uncanny, and save for a few details of his face and the neat bun that held back his thick curls, they could have easily been identical twins.

“I always keep my promises, Lafayette, it’s nice to see you too.”

James watched as they shared a few more words he couldn’t make out, most likely because they weren’t in English, before they pressed a pair of quick pecks to each of each others’ cheeks. It confused him for a moment until he remembered something about French greetings, and then Lafayette’s attention was on him.

“And you must be le petit James! Thomas has talked a lot about you, I am glad to finally meet you in person.” Lafayette’s demeanour was sugar, spice, and everything nice.

James had to catch himself before the icy appearance he usually kept with strangers melted away. He sent a quick glance to Thomas to ask for a translation of the words he didn’t recognize, but when he received a shake of the head in response, he decided not to dwell on it.

“Thomas has said many things about you too,” James replied with a curt nod, shifting his mocha to his left hand so he could extend the other for a handshake, “It is nice to meet you too.”

Maybe Lafayette didn’t see James’ hand, or maybe he simply ignored it, because as he a warm laugh bubbled past his lips he leaned down and pressed two quick kisses to James’ cheeks.

Almost immediately heat rushed to his faced as he stared up at the Frenchman with a flustered gape, opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water as he tried to find an appropriate response.

“Oh, mon Dieu! I am so sorry, James, I forgot- I was only trying to be polite. That is how I would greet friends back in France.” Lafayette quickly replied once he realized what he’d done, taking hold of James’ still-extended hand in his mitted grip as he continued to murmur apologies.

Thomas, who had been watching this scene unfold with a guileful grin, couldn’t hold back his laughter anymore, “Don’t worry about it, Laf. James doesn’t take offence that easily, right?”

In the moment James finally managed to collect himself, giving a simple nod in response as he tucked his hand back in his pocket, “Of course not. Uhm, are the others here too?”

At the change of topic Lafayette smiled again, offering a nod in response, “Yes, they’re already on the ice. I just wanted to wait for you two.”

“How sweet,” Thomas replied, giving the Frenchman’s shoulder a pat to grab his attention, “Why don’t we go grab ourselves some skates and get in on the action before they’re all tuckered out, hm?”

Lafayette smiled brighter this time with another nod as he followed Thomas to the little skate rental booth, going on to chat about something or other in his same sweet excitement.

James simply watched them leave, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as he turned away to find a place by the boards where he could watch. It’s not like he had the skills to join in on the fun anyways, and here he finally got to enjoy his mocha.

He was quiet in his content as he sipped at the dark chocolate drink. It had lost some of its original heat, but it was still pleasant to hold and helped warm his chilled body. He turned his attention to the skaters a moment later, searching for the faces he recognized.

He saw Alexander and John laughing together as they ducked and wove between the other skaters in a rush to go nowhere. He watched for a moment as Burr stumbled for a moment before catching himself on Hercules, a giant of a man that looked a little out of place on the ice. Then, his gaze drifted back to Thomas and Lafayette, though he was only focused on the Frenchman.

James couldn’t help the way his lips twitched up in a smile. Lafayette’s eyes were warm, like the gentle glow of a candle on Christmas Eve. He watched the corners of the Frenchman’s eyes crinkle up as he laughed, and James felt himself mirroring the expression before he snapped himself out of his little daze.

“Get a hold of yourself, James.” He muttered, turning away as he finished off his mocha.

Still, he couldn’t help himself as he went back to watching Lafayette.

And that’s when their gazes met.

The Frenchman’s lips curled down into a frown, tilting his head in show of his confusion before he said a quick goodbye to Thomas and started to approach.

“Do you not want to join us, mon petit? I hope it is not because of me, I truly did not mean you any offence.”

“No, you’re alright,” James replied, hoping that it wasn’t noticable how his breath hitched when Lafayette touched his hand, “It’s just…”

“Is something the matter?”

James glanced away, clearing his throat. He tried to force down the embarrassed flush that tingled in his cheeks as he spoke, words not much more than a whisper, “… I can’t skate.”

Lafayette blinked for a moment, and James still didn’t look back at him before he heard sweet laughter bubble past the Frenchman’s lips. “If that is it, mon petit, then there is nothing you should worry about! Come, I will teach you.”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“I will teach you!” The Frenchman repeated with a beaming smile that James just couldn’t bring himself to say no to.

James’ cheeks were still warm with embarrassment as Lafayette hopped over the boards and held his hand, both figuratively and literally, through the process of renting and tying his skates before leading him to the edge of the rink.

“I’m not so sure about this…” James murmured. His steps were already shaky enough as he tiptoed behind the Frenchman, he didn’t know what would happen if he dared to step on the ice.

“Just don’t let go of my hands, yes? I will make sure you don’t fall.” Lafayette reassured, his words gentle and his smile as sweet as sugar.

James nodded, taking a wobbly step into the ice. He nearly slipped right out of the gate, but Lafayette was there, keeping his hands in his tight yet comfortable grip.

“See? It is not so hard. Just follow my lead, I will make sure you are alright.” Lafayette added with a soft laugh and a little smile. Sugar, spice, and everything nice.

James wasn’t sure if his legs were wobbling because of the skates or the fact that at this rate the Frenchman was going to make him melt.

He gave a small nod in response, smiling a little bit as he began to slowly glide forwards. Of course, Lafayette was doing most of the work, but he still let himself feel a little proud that he was getting somewhere.

James let his lips twitch up into a smile as he glanced up at Lafayette, and a different kind of heat flushed to his cheeks at how the Frenchman was looking back at him.

There was a gentle pride shining in his eyes as he smiled back down at James, giving his hands a little reassuring squeeze. He was nothing but genuine, soft and sweet in all his actions and words.

James couldn’t help the heat that flushed to his cheeks again and how his legs began to wobble. Whatever was left of his icy composure had long melted away, and apparently so did his balance.

“Oh Dieu!”

Lafayette wrapped his arms around James’ waist in an attempt to keep them both upright, but the Frenchman had already been knocked off balance. He fell back, landing flat on his backside with James pressed flush against his chest.

They slid to a stop a moment later, both staring at each other with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

James burst into laughter; it was all he could think to do in the moment. The sound rang clear like a bell as he relaxed against Lafayette’s chest. The Frenchman soon joined in, his own laughter a bright chiming sound that tickled James’ cheeks as it bubbled up from his chest.

“I’m sorry,” James began to speak, slowly calming down after taking a few deep breaths, “I don’t quite know what happened there.”

“It is quite alright, mon petit,” Lafayette replied, shaking his head. He was still laughing, though the chime had quieted down, “You did quite well for your first time, you should be proud.”

James smiled more with a quiet hum and a nod in response. He began to shift so that Lafayette would be able to stand again, and in turn, the Frenchman helped him back up onto his feet.

“I should repay you for doing all of this for me… Do you like hot chocolate? I know a good café that’s not far from here.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea, mon petit.”

#Hamcember 2020 #my writing #Madlaf #fluff #christmas #ice skating #two sweet boys #the coffee is a slight metaphor for James' demeanour #Hamcember prompt 7 #Hamcember

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deanstop13billyjoeltraxx · 4 years ago

Text

Superposition

a deancas college roommate AU

Chapter 4 is up on AO3! (Chapter-by-chapter masterlist here.)

They’re Gonna Love You

Three Years Earlier

Cas was terrible at making friends.

He really was trying his best — he spoke up in class whenever he could, he talked to his seatmates when it was appropriate. And that was fine, everyone was perfectly nice to him. But he couldn’t figure out what exactly he was supposed to say to make himself less “that one guy from accounting” and more “Cas Novak.” So, he was three weeks into college with nothing to show for it.

Nothing, save his roommate.

Unlike Castiel, Dean had already found a group of friends from their floor. He was hardly ever in their room. Cas didn’t mind so much; it gave him space to focus on his homework, which already felt overwhelming and never-ending. But every day, like clockwork, Dean was back by seven, and he dragged Cas away from his computer and into the dining hall with him.

Castiel had to admit that dinner was the best part of his day. Dean rarely failed to take his mind off of the dangerously constant spiral of social anxiety and school-related stress. Cas learned that Dean moved constantly because of his father’s job, that his brother, Sam, was “a textbook nerd,” that Dean’s guilty pleasure was Grey’s Anatomy (“Don’t look at me like that, Patrick Dempsey is in it”), that he loved pie probably more than anyone should be allowed to. And Castiel told Dean things, too, things he’d never had the luxury of sharing; how he decided to be a writer after reading The Great Gatsby for the first time, that his attending college had made him the black sheep of the family, how he had never lost a game of Trivial Pursuit (“Is that a friggin’ challenge, Cas?”).

They had occasionally eaten with Dean’s friends from the dorms, most often on Fridays when the group was heading to a party afterward. That is, until Castiel brought a copy of Pride and Prejudice to the table to read before his next literature class, and Cole Martin asked him if he was gay with a smirk. The table had gone silent; Cas just looked at him, heat flaming across his face; Dean was staring daggers. Cole, refusing to get the message, prodded for a response, at which point Dean asked if he could talk to him for a minute.

Dean didn’t speak to Cole again after that.

He apologized to Cas profusely on Cole’s behalf, the “sorry’s” punctuated by assurances that it was great if Castiel was indeed gay, that Dean didn’t care, that Cas was Cas. But even if he was curious, Dean never asked the question. And that was good, because Cas wasn’t quite ready to have that conversation, seeing as coming out to Bartholomew during his senior year had led to six months of no-contact. Instead, Cas just informed Dean that he was accustomed to the treatment by now, that bringing Twilight to school his freshman year placed him solidly in the “insert homophobic-slur here” category, according to his peers. This only partly fixed the issue, because while Dean stopped apologizing, he started on a tirade against Castiel’s high school demons.

Cas had never had anyone care enough to stand up for him. He thought he was very lucky to have Dean Winchester as a roommate

It was Thursday, and Castiel was agonizing over a problem set for accounting when Dean walked in.

“All right, Einstein, let’s go,” he announced, dumping his backpack next to his desk. “Dinner time.”

“Give me a minute,” Cas muttered.

Dean moved over to Cas’ desk and leaned over his shoulder.

“Damn,” he said. “You really are a genius. I don’t know what any of this shit means.”

“Save your accolades for when I pass the class,” Cas said, sighing.

“You’ll pass, but not if you die from starvation first.”

Cas rolled his eyes. “I think you’re projecting.”

“Maybe I am,” Dean said, shrugging. “But you still need to eat.”

“All right. I’m coming.”

The pair walked to the dining hall, Dean explaining the details of the party he was attending the following night, how he hoped the girl from his English class would be there. Cas never had much to add to these types of conversations, but he typically tried to remain engaged. Tonight, he just uttered monosyllabic responses when it seemed appropriate.

Cas couldn’t stop thinking about how alone he had become. The novelty of college had worn off; all Cas could see now was how many hours he spent in solitude. He couldn’t help but feel as though he was doomed for a repeat of high school. The interaction with Cole certainly didn’t help matters, and though Dean was a great friend, Cas couldn’t escape the feeling that everything he did was out of pity.

“Okay, dude, what’s up?” Dean asked.

“What?”

“You’re acting all weird. Kinda mopey,” Dean explained with a mouthful of pizza.

“Oh,” Cas said. “I apologize. It wasn’t intentional. I just…”

Dean raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“I’ve just been distracted tonight.”

“By what?”

Cas gave Dean a look. “It’s not important.”

Dean opened his mouth to argue, but Cas interrupted him, changing the subject.

“How are your classes?”

Dean shrugged. “Eh. Whatever. I don’t pay attention much.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to major in?”

“Wish I was smart enough for engineering, but… Nah, I haven’t figured that out yet.”

“Dean,” Cas said. “I’m sure you’re smart enough for anything you want to study.”

Dean chuckled. “Appreciate that, Cas, but definitely not.”

Cas eyed his friend a moment, but didn’t say anything else.

“Hey, you know the party I was telling you about?” Dean said after a moment of silence. “You should come. It’ll be fun.”

Castiel nearly choked on his chicken strips. There was only one thing that would make Dean invite him to a party. The thought of Dean feeling that bad for Cas made him want to become one with the floor. Not to mention the idea of attempting that level of social interaction was enough to send him into a tailspin.

“That’s very kind, but I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Cas said. “I’m not much for parties.”

“Oh come on, Cas. You’ve never even tried it!”

“I understand the general idea.”

“Man, it’s the experience.”

“Dean, I’m not going to a frat party. I have enough to worry about with my classes. Besides,” Cas looked away, refusing to meet Dean’s eyes. “I’m not… particularly adept at social interactions.”

“What?” Dean exclaimed. “Dude, you’re awesome. You do fine with me!”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“I don’t know,” Cas sighed. “You tend to do most of the talking. It saves me from ruining things.”

Dean just looked at him. “Ruining things?”

“I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly your typical college student.”

Dean laughed. “Well, I mean, no, but that doesn’t ruin things. Plus, I can guarantee that every girl at that party would be all over you. Most of the guys, too, probably. You’ve got the sexy nerd thing going on.”

Cas blushed profusely. “That’s irrelevant. The point is, I’m not going.”

Dean sighed, long-suffering. “Fine. I give up. For now.”

Cas let out a breath of relief.

They finished dinner and headed back to their dorm. Dean asked what class Castiel liked the most, which led to Cas gushing about creative writing for ten minutes. Dean graciously humored him, and when Cas apologized abashedly, Dean punched him in the shoulder and told him to shut up.

When they got back to their room, Dean put on another record (Wish You Were Here, by Pink Floyd, Cas was informed) and left to take a shower. Cas finished his problem set with “Have a Cigar” in the background, grateful for the distraction from his earlier thoughts. That was the one good thing about his double-major — he truly did not have time to ruminate on his problems.

Dean returned to work on an English essay, talking to himself the entire time. Cas did his best not to laugh at the muttered “what the hell am I even trying to say” and “I can’t use ‘demonstrates’ again.”

Hours later, after trying, and failing, to read ahead for philosophy, Cas resigned himself to his bed for the night.

“Tired?” Dean asked from his desk.

“Yes,” Cas said, throwing off his t-shirt and getting in bed. “But you can leave the light on if you have more work to do. I’ll fall asleep eventually.”

“Nah, I’m tired too.”

Dean flipped the lights off and climbed in his own bed. Cas closed his eyes against the quiet blackness.

“Cas?”

“Yes?”

“Are you all right? Level with me, man.”

Cas sighed. He supposed this conversation would happen sooner or later, if this friendship was to continue. “I’ve never had many friends,” he said. “I told you, after Cole, about the comments regarding my sexuality?” Dean made a grunt in understanding. “Well, it didn’t help that I was homeschooled until I was fourteen. I was what I believe is called ‘the weird kid.’”

Dean snorted. “You? Weird? Never.”

Cas rolled his eyes in the darkness. “I’m serious. I just don’t want to be the ‘weird kid’ again, I suppose. I believed college would be my second chance, but it’s beginning to feel like a bad sequel.”

“Dude,” Dean said, “you have me. And Benny and Charlie like you, too. If you just went out more —”

“I’m not sure I want my friendships to be predicated on underage drinking,” Cas replied, and cringed at the way it sounded. When Dean didn’t respond, he added, “I just mean… I want people to like me, not my drunken antics.”

“Right,” Dean mumbled. Then, “What was homeschool like?”

Cas furrowed his brow at the change in subject, but humored Dean, anyway. “Terrible. My father attempted to teach all five of us on his own. It was mostly history and religion, which, coming from him, meant racism, fire, and brimstone. He had this grand plan for me, and for my brothers, to become pastors.” Castiel paused. “I had to sneak out to the library with Anna just to teach myself basic algebra.” Another pause, a breath. “Anna kept me sane most days. She was more of a mother than a sister.” I miss her.

“Where was your mom?” Dean asked.

“Not sure,” Cas said. “We were all adopted as children. My father never took a wife, and I never knew my real parents. I asked my father about them once. He told me they died ages ago.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, Cas.”

“It’s okay.”

“That makes more sense,” Dean said after a moment. “I was wondering why none of y’all looked alike.”

“I probably should have explained that earlier. I forget it isn’t common knowledge,” Cas replied.

Dean was quiet for a long time, so long that Cas suspected he may have fallen asleep. Cas was about to follow suit when Dean said, quietly, “Sometimes I was the weird kid, too.”

Castiel snapped his eyes open at that. It seemed unbelievable to him that Dean Winchester could be disliked by anyone. “What?”

“Yeah,” Dean mumbled. “Always moving, you know. Sometimes, people liked me. Sometimes, they really fucking hated me. It sucks, you know.”

“I do.”

tagging @nguyenxtrang :)

#destiel #deancas #supernatural #superposition #destiel fic

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marvinswriting · 4 years ago

Text

stupid social experiment

Disclaimer: there is no logic and this would not happen in real life but its a shrink fic and those are never quite logical are they..... anyway be ready for frustrating levels of inaccuracy, I'm sorry Tw: it's a long fic, a lot happens, there's a bunch. D slur, shots, falling, fainting, extreme fear, the usual

minimal to no mean girls knowledge needed for this fic

This was bound to be stupid as fuck.

Northshore doesn't get picked for anything good.

So this "social experiment" was going to be boring.

Calling it now.

We don't even know what it's about. Parents know. They signed a bunch of forms.

We don't know who is running it, what they're trying to study, any of it.

If it's just a Here's What You Do episode I'm dropping out of high school.

"Janis!" An arm wraps around my shoulder and I turn to see Damian.

"Hey," I show him the slip of paper I was handed. "I've been randomly selected for the experiment. Why are they calling it an experiment? What is it?! What are they going to do to me?" I flop against Damian dramatically and he laughs.

"Jan, your mom signed off on whatever it's about. I'm sure you're fine."

"Well, I hope so. Because they want me in the library right now."

Damian tsks. "I'll either see you at lunch or the next period if it takes too long."

I nod. "Right."

Damian squeezes my shoulder before breaking away, heading to the lunchroom. "Love you!"

"Love you too." I mumble, making way to the library.

There's a teacher outside, keeping watch, and all windows to the libraries are covered.

A pit forms in my stomach.

Whats this experiment about that requires so much secrecy.

"Hello, Janis." The teacher nods. She's a short English teacher I had last year.

Hated her, she never let Damian and I sit together.

"The library is closed today, I'm sorry."

"I'm here for the-" My voice falters as I lift the paper. "Thing."

She nods, opening the door.

The library is filled with students and people I've never seen before. There's a cloth creating a barrier from the entrance to the library and the back, with students and workers walking in and out.

"Hey, love!" There is a lady at the main desk who I've never seen before. Definitely not a librarian. "Can I get you checked in?"

"Yeah, Uh- what's this all about?"

"Surprise." The lady says with a wink. "Name?"

"Janis, Sarkisian. S-A-R-K-I-S-I-A-N."

"Alrighty, Janis. Height and grade?"

Height and grade?!

Why hight?

"I- uh, senior. And 5'10?"

"Lovely. You can go right back and sit in one of those chairs while you wait."

I frown but walk over to the clump of chairs anyway.

Aaron Samuels sat in one of the chairs to the far right. He gave me a slight nod before looking away.

Whatever.

Better than how most people treated space dyke.

The curtain behind me pulled back revealing Regina Geroge walking through.

I instantly looked to the ground, avoiding all eye contact.

Revenge party was last year. Yeah, we both apologized, but that didn't make us friends.

Nowhere near, actually.

"Coco, Sarkisian, and Samuels?" A professional doctor person pulled back the curtain, calling names off a clipboard. A couple of us got up, walking back.

My heart was pounding out of anxiety and curiosity.

I hated being on camera. Were they gonna interview me?

"Please sit down for your shots?"

"Our what?" Aaron asked.

"You mean a photo, right?" Somebody called from behind me.

"No, like the quick pinch with a needle. You may each take a seat."

I froze.

No.

Nope.

Nu-uh.

"I don't do- needles." I say, stepping backward.

The doctor sighed. "A fear of needles is normal, I'll make it quick."

Why do we need shots for a social experiment?

"You can find somebody else." I say, shaking my head. "I'm not kidding. I kicked a nurse once."

The doctor just chuckled, guiding me to a chair. "Relax, deep breaths, it won't be too bad."

I wanted to scream and cry, thrash around because what the fuck has my mom signed me up for- but I can't do that in the fucking high school library.

Instead, I let the "doctor" clean my arm, scrunching my eyes tight and cringing.

I flinch when I feel a pinch in my arm, followed by a quick tap with a bandaid.

"All done. See? Not so bad."

Debatable.

"What was that?" I ask, getting up.

The doctor smiled. "All part of the social experiment."

Don't I have the right to fucking know what's just been injected into me?

Did I just get a heroin addiction?

Shane Madej’s fears seem a lot more relevant now.

The doctor hands me a lollipop. "Only for the best patients."

I frown, but take it anyway.

One weird social experiment.

"A shot?"

"A shot."

Janis had just joined Damian and I at the lunch table, telling us about the social experiment.

"They gave me a butterscotch lollipop. I don't even like butterscotch!" Janis whined. "Want it, Cady?"

I shake my head. "I'm good."

"Damian?"

The boy takes the lollipop without hesitation. "But you hate shots."

"I do. I'm surprised I didn't puke."

"No kicking the nurse?"

"No."

"This is good!" Damian grinned. "A big step."

"There's gotta be a law about injecting people with random needles and not telling them." I say.

Janis just shook her head. "You would think so."

"Regina!" Gretchen ran up to me. "Any updates about that shot you got?"

I shrug. "No Gretch. And it's been a week. I doubt anything is going to happen."

I've been going into the library every day to get my vitals rechecked.

No changes.

Some social experiment.

Gretchen nodded. "Well then if you're up for it, maybe we could throw a party this weekend?"

I shrugged. "Let's ask Karen about it at lunch."

Gretchen nodded, typing away in her phone. "Let's go to the cafeteria."

I nod, turning on my heels and stepping away from the locker.

My limbs feel funny, like tv static all over.

Not painful and nowhere near enough to be concerning, but- odd.

"Aaron, you need to pay attention." I scold.

"Cady, my head hurts. Can we take a small break." Aaron shakes his head. "I don't know what's up with me." It's Aaron and I's lunch period and while Aaron is great, I would much rather spend it with Janis and Damian right now.

I sigh. "Sure. Let me know when you feel better."

Aaron nods, taking a sip of his water. I look back down to my notes trying to prepare what to do next.

I can hear Aaron place his water bottle back down, letting out a pitiful moan.

"Aaron, if you really feel sick maybe it's best you go ho-" I look up but Aaron isn't there anymore. "Aaron?"

Damian and I walked through the halls idly. It was almost the end of our lunch period and we didn't really have anywhere to be.

"Dame, my head is pounding." I groan.

Everything felt off. It started small- a minor headache that formed last period, but now everything hurt. I felt nauseous, my head may explode, my limbs felt heavy, and my vision was swarming.

Damian took no pity in me. "This is what three all-nighters in a row does to you Jan. I love you and I wish I could help, you should have gone to bed last night when I told you too."

"Something tells me this isn't lack of sleep." I mumble, looking down. My vision had fully become a swarm of grey haze.

"You got sick because of a shity immune system because of lack of sleep."

He doesn't believe me.

I mean, he shouldn't.

He's right, I have a history of bad habits getting me sick.

But,

"Damian that's not-" I take a shuddering breath and stop walking. My entire body feels numb and broken. "That's not it."

Was this death?

It ached to the point of sharp pain.

"C'mon Jan." I could faintly hear Damian keep walking over a harsh ringing in my ears.

"I- ah-"

My knees were buckling, everything burned. Why does it burn?

I could vaguely feel my knees hit the cold tile before I felt nothing.

Not that it lasted long.

Or maybe it did.

I fucking passed out.

My vision was blurry as I peered down at the tile. The ring in my ear was fading but my body still had an overall ache. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to lift my head.

I just wanted to lay back down.

But-

The bell was gonna ring and seeing space dyke just lying on her stomach probably was just gonna get me teased.

I sit up, ignoring the way my stomach twists and look up-

-what the fuck?

What the fuck what the fuck what the fresh ever-loving godsend of a fuck?

Even through the blurry haze covering my vision, I could tell something was wrong.

The lockers in front of me were big.

Not big, fucking huge.

The other set of lockers I had pushed myself against were the same. The tiles underneath me weren't an exception.

The entire hallway was hu-

No.

I've seen the movies.

I know where this goes.

I'm just really small.

Somehow- that realization didn't sit much better with me.

My stomach twists again as I look down.

Maybe I was still passed out?

Was this a weird hallucination?

Something deep down told me that wasn't the case.

"Janis?"

I freeze.

My breath feels caught in my throat.

I know that voice.

It's loud and echoes through the halls, but I know that voice.

I don't raise my head, I don't think I can physically bring myself to move, to react, to respond.

I'm frozen. Maybe it's fear, maybe its denial that this is actually happening.

From my peripheral vision, I can see sneakers a couple feet away.

Giant fucking sneakers.

Too close.

Too big.

I know who owns a pair like that.

I force myself to look up slowly, ignoring the dull thump in my head.

Damian stood a little further down the hall at his full height.

How I should be right now.

He looked down at me with wide eyes, probably having the same moment I'm having.

Everything is so big.

Except for me.

Oh god.

My throat is dry and if feels like air isn't properly getting to my lungs as it should.

Damian, my best friend, who was tall normally, now quite literally towered over me.

Neither of us said anything.

Neither of us moved.

My brain was still trying to process the situation.

This had to be a weird fucking dream.

Right?

Damian was right, I need more sleep, so my body forced shut down and now I've got a nightmare.

Right?

My mind thinks back to the shot I got Monday. Five days later and nothing changed- until now.

Was this-

Was this part of the experiment?

"Hey, Jan?" Damian's voice is soft, but that doesn't make it quiet.

To me, at least.

"Are you okay?"

I don't respond. I can't bring myself to. I'm frozen.

I'm tiny.

I've been shrunken and now I'm in the middle of a giant ass high school hallway, unmoving.

What the fuck?

What the fuck.

"The bell is gonna ring. You can't just sit there." Damian talks again.

I give a small nod, not really paying attention.

How could I?

I was four inches tall- at most.

The world that was normally just scary was now big and scary.

I look back down to the floor underneath me. I can't look up, I don't want to look up.

This was just a weird fucking dream.

It had to be.

"Jan-" Damian's voice is full of worry.

My total silence probably isn't helping.

There's movement out of the corner of my eye as Damian steps forward.

"No!"

My head snaps up as I push myself back.

Damian freezes, visibly surprised by the sudden outbursts.

"Please. Just- not yet. I-" I look at my hand that pressed onto the ground. It's so small compared to the pattern in the tile.

I'm so small.

I bite my lip, trying not to cry. It'd be stupid to cry. Crying won't fucking fix this.

"I'm sorry." I whisper. I know Damian can't hear it. I don't look back at him.

I don't want to see the hurt and worry on his face.

Stupid fucking social experiment.

Damian knelt down but it didn't help.

Everything was so big.

What the fuck.

"Jan?" His voice was softer this time. "You okay?"

I gazed up at him, he looked as scared as I felt. But- so tall.

"I'm-" My voice trails off. What do you say in this circumstance?

The hell if I were to know. Damian frowns.

"The bell is gonna ring, Janis. We gotta get you somewhere."

I push myself further against the wall.

I knew what he was implying.

I'd have to move.

He'd have to pick me up.

This was Damian. He wouldn't hurt me.

But I'm so small.

What if something happened?

What if I fell?

"Janis," I can hear the stress in Damian's voice. "I'm not gonna touch you unless you say okay. But- we're running out of time here."

I rub my hands up and down my fishnets nervously. "O-okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." I push myself off the locker, taking a deep breath.

It's just Damian, it's just Damian, it's just Damian.

Damian leans forward slowly, like he was scared to set me off again.

Everything about seeing a giant hand reach for me set off so many alarm bells in my head but I tried not to let it show.

It's just Damian, it's just Damian, it's just Damian.

I force myself to look away as his hand gently scoops me up from behind.

Woah.

That's-

-different.

Damian sits back on his heels, bringing his other hand to cup underneath me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I- thanks."

I've held Damian's hand before, quite often actually. But I've never been held in Damian's hand before.

It was weird.

Like, when he moved, my body felt a little delayed. I was hyper-aware of the slightest shifts.

"I'm gonna get up now." Damian warns me.

He shifts me gently into one hand and holds it closer to his chest as he sits up.

I grab onto his fingers at the sudden change in altitude. It was only a couple feet but it left me a little nauseated.

Damian freezes. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry just-"

"Don't apologize." Damian says softly.

I know he's scared, maybe even as terrified as me. But I'm not sure how to comfort him.

I fit in his hand.

I can hardly do much.

"I'm gonna find an empty classroom, okay?"

"Alright." I don't let go of his finger as he begins walking, pulling me closer.

"Regina, please calm down"

"Calm down?! Gretchen did you just tell me to calm down?! I am the size of a Crayola Crayon and your gonna tell me to calm the fuck down?!"

Gretchen blinked at me, her mouth agape.

I groaned, placing my head in my hands. One minute I'm sitting at my lunch table complaining of a headache, the next I'm passed out on the lunch table.

"You're kinda cute at this size. Like a doll." Karen smiled.

"Well, I'm not supposed to be a doll, Karen!"

I didn't seem to be the only person in the cafeteria having this issue. The entire room was just general panic all around.

"Regina, I know your upset but please don't stand so close to the edge of the table-"

I look back to Gretchen just in time to see a hand reach for me.

"Stop!" I hold my hands out defensively, taking like seven steps backward.

Gretchen's hand falls back into her lap and she stares at me wide-eyed. "Regina I'm sorry, I just-"

"I don't need your help." I say through gritted teeth.

I feel pathetic for getting freaked over a hand. Gretchen's hand no less.

There were tears in my eyes and my heart was pounding.

This is embarrassing.

"Are you crying?"

"No, Karen. I'm not."

"Gretchen, I think she's crying."

I can't help but laugh at the blonde in front of me. It's a short, bitter laugh, but it's a laugh.

Karen seems to take this as a win as she hums contently, turning back to her phone.

Gretchen is staring at the hand in her lap and I feel a wave of guilt wash over me.

It's not her fault I freaked out.

I look down at my body.

Tiny.

There's no way I'm traveling around on my own.

I'm gonna need Gretchen and Karen.

I can't keep yelling at them.

I wipe the tears away from my eyes, stepping forward.

"Hey, Gretch?"

"Yeah?" She doesn't look away from her hand.

"I'm sorry for uh- lashing out. It wasn't your fault."

Gretchen looks up at me like she's never heard an apology before. Probably not from me at least.

Maybe it's selfish to only apologize when it benefits me. It probably is. But-

I've got bigger worries than my moral compass right now.

There's a crackling of the intercom, a lot louder than I ever remember it being.

"The whole school to the gymnasium, asap."

"Do you think that has to do with whatever just- happened?" Gretchen motions vaguely to my small form.

"The hell if I know. Just pick me up and let's go."

Gretchen hesitates. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you or anything I-"

"Gretchen. I can't walk there myself."

"Right."

I pushed carefully through the crowds of students in the hall, extremely mindful of Aaron in my hands.

It seems we weren't the only ones with this issue as I passed all my classmates, a couple of them also holding tiny peers.

There's a group of football jocks all traveling in a pack. "Glen Coco coming through." They yelled.

I caught a glimpse into the center of their group and sure enough, Glen Coco sat in one of his bigger friend's hands.

"Cady!"

I turn around to see Damian coming over. "Thank god you're okay."

I nod. "Yeah, where's Janis?"

"Hey."

I blink in disbelief at the small girl cupped in Damian's hands. She looked like she was gripping onto his pointer finger like her life depended on it.

How many students were affected?!

I frown. "I'm so sorry, Janis."

"Yeah, me too." She sighs. "Is that Aaron?!"

"Yeah." He calls from my hands. I lift him up more with a smile.

"Studying gone wrong."

Damian just shakes his head. "We were in the hallways."

We continue walking into the gymnasium. The bleachers are already pulled out and there is a man in a white coat standing at a podium. I can feel Aaron tense up in my hands as Damian and I take seats near the relative front.

"You recognize him?" I ask.

Aaron says something, but I can't hear him over the crowd around us.

"Hold on, Aaron." I shift my hands, bringing him up to my shoulder. "I can bearly hear you."

"Oh," He climbs on, gripping the shirt underneath him. I'm careful to remain deathly still as he sits.

That was one of the doctors who were giving shots."

I nod. "So this whole thing is related to the shrinking."

I look over to Janis, who Damian held protectively close to him. The poor girl seemed terrified and to be honest, I would be too.

The gymnasium was crowded and unnerving at my size. I can't imagine how she and Aaron feel.

I wish I could help more but everyone seemed equally at a loss of the situation.

"Janis?"

She was staring out at nothing, totally out of it.

"Hey, Jan, Cady's talking to you." Damian nudged her gently.

She blinked, shaking her head before turning to me. "You okay?" I ask.

"It's really loud," Janis says. I can tell shes yelling just to get her voice to travel so I nod instead of keeping the conversation going.

The man-who-shot-my-friends-doctor-person stepped up to the podium, raising his hands to call for silence.

When the school had settled down, he began. I didn't pay much attention. He basically gave us his name and a vague description of his job. "Studying how society reacts to changes and new environments". He said he was excited to work with us, he had never taken his studies to a highschool.

Basically, shrinking half the school was a change. A big one if you asked me. And they wanted to see how a much of immature teenagers react.

Don't scientists have better things to be doing?

Like curing cancer?

I felt hyper-aware of Aaron balancing carefully on my shoulder as the scientist talked.

"It is odd that the results took a week to show."

Aaron scoffed. He was so close to my ear that I could hear him clearly.

"With that being said, it will be a couple of days before we've got a reverse and there's no saying how long it will be for it to kick in."

"How long are you thinking?" A student from beside me said.

"A week. At least."

"A least?!" I behind me to see a small Regina rushed to the edge of Gretchen's hand, ignoring the yell Gretchen gave, curling her fingers up. "I'm gonna be like this for a fucking week?"

I looked at Damian next to me. Janis sunk low into his hands, tears in her eyes. My heart broke slightly.

I wish I could pull her into a hug and help like she has done so many times for me.

The most scient continued. "You are all expected to continue attending class as usual. We will keep the selected student updated and-"

"Wait! How are they expected to get to class?"

"Yeah!"

"This sounds dangerous."

I nodded along to the last one. It did.

The scientist sighed. "That is for you to figure out. Now-"

"This is stupid. So fucking stupid." I frown.

Damian looked down at me. "Yeah."

He was walking to his car with Cady (and Aaron and me). Damian normally drove Cady and I home but now I really needed the help.

"I'm a high school student! I should be worrying about my next chemistry exam. Not the fact that I'm three and a half inches tall."

Aaron made a noise of agreement from where he clung to Cady's shoulder.

Bold moves, dude.

I'll stay here.

Damian shifted me into one hand as he opened his car door.

"How are we gonna do this?" He mumbled, sitting down.

We were all silent for a bit.

"I could hold both of them?" Cady offered as she shifted Aaron into her hands.

"Jan, you okay with that?" Damian asked.

I trusted Cady. I really did. In the short amount of time I got to know her, she was quick to become an important person in my life.

But I barely felt comfortable with Damian right now. And it's Damian.

Still, despite all my inner turmoil, I nodded. "Yeah."

Damian gives me a look and I know he can see right through my semi brave face. But he doesn't push.

"Alright." He leans over, carefully depositing me next to Aaron and starting the car. "Aaron, are you going with Cady?"

"Yeah."

To have somebody my (new) size sitting next to me felt oddly confronting.

Cady's hands weren't as warm as Damian's, but I knew that before.

It was weird, to sit in a hand I used to be able to hold.

When I closed my eyes and sat shoulder to shoulder with Aaron, I could almost feel like this was normal.

"So, should I cancel the party this weekend?" Gretchen asked.

Karen frowned. "Not the party!"

"No, Gretchen. I may be tiny but my house fucking isn't."

"Regina, that sounds dangerous."

I scoff. "And?"

"What if you get hurt? What if any tiny gets hurt?"

"What's your point, Gretchen? If you've already decided you're gonna cancel my party, then why bother asking me?"

I don't miss the way Gretchen flinches back.

Part of me felt bad. The other part felt smug. Like even at my size, I can still call shots. I'm still in charge.

"I was just looking out for you." Gretchen says sadly.

Well, the smug feeling didn't last long.

I take a deep breath. "Then let's just reschedule for next week. I should be back by then, right?"

Gretchen gives a soft smile. "Right."

My house wasn't big. Just me and my mom, sometimes Damian.

But holy fuck was it big right now.

Damian shut the front door behind him, bringing both hands underneath me.

"Ms. Sarkisian? Are you home?"

Obviously, Damian was with me. We were always together before and well- we had to be now.

At least for me.

"Is that Damian?" A familiar voice calls from the kitchen. "Janis isn't here hon, I'm sorry."

Damian laughs nervously, holding me closer to his chest. "Actually-"

My mom emerged from the kitchen with a smile. "I thought she was coming home with you-"

Her eyes fall to Damian's hands and I wave awkwardly.

"Oh."

I hate having everyone's eyes on me, I hate having everyone touching me and holding me, I just hate being small in general.

I was slowly getting used to Damian holding me, and Cady wasn't that bad-

but I wasn't ready for more.

So when my mom steps forward, I lean back into Damian's hand, hoping she'll get the hint.

She doesn't, but Damian does. He tips his hand up a bit so I fall with my back to his chest, his fingers curled over me.

When my mom catches on, she steps back again, giving us space. "It actually worked." Her voice is filled with humor and disbelief.

"Huh?" Of course, my mom knew what she was signing me up for. But- part of me had hoped she just missed the fine print or something.

"I didn't think it would work. Especially as it got closer to the end of the week."

"Mom- you knew?"

"Well, yeah."

I push myself further against Damian. "You would do this, to your own daughter."

"It's for science! You know, I wanted to be a scientist once when I was little."

"Then you become three inches tall for science!" I don't bother to hide the anger in my voice.

I feel-

I don't know how I feel.

I don't know what to feel.

Scared? Mad? Betrayed? Shocked?

I'm terrified. And it's my mom's fault.

My mom steps backward at my sudden outburst. "Janis-"

"No." I cut her off bitterly. "We can talk later. I just- I need time. To calm down."

She nods sadly.

The worst part of it all?

My own mother can't seem to grasp why this is wrong.

She turns on her heels, going back to whatever she was doing before.

"Damian?" I ask, sinking down.

"Yeah?"

"Your house?"

"Of course."

"Regina, are you feeling okay?" Gretchen asked.

I turn, looking up at her. It felt weird to have to look up all the time now. We were in the Smith household because I wasn't ready to go home yet. I didn't want to face the reality of all this.

The fact that my own parents signed off.

"Yeah, why?"

Gretchen shrugged. "You've been acting odd. Like- I know the shrinking and you've got a lot on your mind but-" Gretchen rambles trying to validate calling my actions 'odd'. "The point is- I was wondering if you were all good."

"What do you mean when you say odd?" I ask.

Gretchen's face flushed. "Not in a bad way or anything! Just- I don't wanna say nicer because that implies you were nice before but like- less snappy? Like not that that's a bad thing or-"

My jaw slacks a little, but I refuse to let my shock show.

Was I such a bitch that not yelling for half a day was noticeable?

I haven't yelled in literally six hours but that was enough for Gretchen to pick up on and check on me?

I silently begin to reevaluate my attitude towards my friends as Gretchen continues to ramble about how it wasn't a bad thing and she wasn't trying to offend me.

I spent most of my Friday with Aaron. But Saturday nights were for me, Damian, Janis, and whatever movie we felt fit the mood.

And no shrinking was gonna change that.

So here I say in the Hubbard basement. Damian sat to my right, holding Janis close to his chest as some mindless film played.

I was trying to pay attention to the movie. Like if I concentrated on the bad plot, I wouldn't be worrying about the small girl who literally fit into Damian's hands. The girl who was supposed to be taller than me. The bravest girl I knew, who looked so small and vulnerable that it physically hurt.

No wonder Damian was so worried about her.

I just wanted to help her- but there was nothing I could do. There was no way to help.

So I turn my attention to the movie instead.

"Cady," Damian whispered from next to me.

"Yeah?" I respond, not taking my eyes off the screen.

"Okay first off, lower your voice," Damian whispered his voice laced with rising panic. "Second, look."

I turn to see what's getting Damian so worked up.

Janis had pressed herself against Damian's chest, her eyes closed and her small form peaceful.

The tense shoulders and fearful eyes she had since the shrink was gone. She looked calm and relaxed, I couldn't help but smile.

"Shes's asleep." I said softly, now understanding why Damian wanted me so quiet.

"What do I do?!" Damian hissed.

I hold back a laugh. "What do you mean? You've fallen asleep on each other plenty of times before. You know what to do."

"But - she's so small." Damian whispered, pressing his hands closer around the girl.

"And?"

"What if she gets hurt or something?"

"Damian, we're just watching a movie." I point out. "She'll be okay."

"Right."

The weekend flew by pretty fast.

Karen and Gretchen stayed over the whole time and they were likely the only reason I haven't died yet.

The school day- now that's a different story.

It was only lunchtime on Monday and I was ready to give it all up and take a nap.

"Regina, you okay?" Gretchen asked.

"Yeah, just- tired."

I was trying to snap less but I also didn't have the energy in me to snap.

"You might be better if you ate something," Gretchen said.

"Like what?"

"A french fry." Karen said, showing her tray forward a bit.

"Janis. That is a full Dorito."

"Okay, and?"

"There are smaller, broken pieces in the bag."

"I'm aware."

I watch with a smile as my friends maneuver around this new normal. Specifically, lunch, during this new normal.

"Cady, tell Damian I can eat an entire Dorito if I want to eat an entire Dorito."

I lean back. "Don't drag me into this. You can try and eat an entire Dorito. Doesn't mean you'll be successful."

Janis scoffs. "Nobody has faith in me."

"It's a full Dorito, Janis." Aaron grins from next to her. "Even if you could eat it, do you think this period is enough time? It's gonna go stale before you can finish it."

"Dude, how long does it take you to eat a Dorito? I have forty-five minutes." Janis shoots back.

I watched with amusement as Janis held the chip, trying to examine the best way to go about her snack.

Damian just shook his head and went back to eating. "You're crazy Janis Sarkisian."

"And you're jealous you can't eat a giant Dorito, Damian Hubbard."

It was Tuesday.

The scientist had been keeping Northshore updated and we should be back to normal by Friday.

Friday was so far away.

I was just lucky Damian had so many classes with me.

It never got any less weird, sitting on his desk instead of next to his desk.

But- it could be worse.

I hadn't talked to my mom yet.

I know I'm gonna break down in tears when I do.

It can wait till Friday when I'm back to normal.

I mean-

-she didn't bother to reach out.

So I won't either.

Damian and I were in study hall in the very back of the library.

It had reopened once all the equipment was pulled out.

It will probably reclose for Friday.

But its only fucking Tuesday.

I look up at Damian, whos working on stuff for other classes- y'know, like most students do in study hall.

Damian had been so understanding of my initial freakout. And even now- when I still freak the fuck out.

Did it get annoying having to carry me everywhere?

I already thought I was pretty annoying.

Space Dyke, Northshore's lesbian with enough trama for four.

I bet being so dependent suddenly wouldn't help my case.

But what could I do?

I couldn't just walk away and give him a break.

I mean-

I could stay home.

But then I'd have to face mom.

Alone.

But Damian deserved the break.

I dunno.

I don't want him to hate me after this week.

There's movement in front of me as I look up to see Cady sit down.

"Hey, guys!" She smiles.

"Hi!" I grin, shoving all my worries down. A talk with Cady was the perfect way to get my mind off things. "Where's Aaron?" I ask when I notice he isn't on her shoulder.

"Aaron is with some soccer buddies. I love him- I really do, but I just needed a break."

Oh.

I look back to Damian, who just smiled before turning back to his work.

My heart sank.

I mean- he didn't verbally agree but- I'm right here, why would he?

If Cady feels that way- Damian probably does too.

I look down at my lap in a vain attempt to hide the tears that burned at the corner of my eyes.

I don't want to lose Damian because I'm too fucking small to do anything myself.

I move closer to the edge of the table as Cady starts unpacking her books.

I don't want to take up too much room just because I can't sit on a chair like a normal person.

Cady and Damian talk quietly to each other but I only half listen.

The library is pretty crowded for a study hall period and I'm 99% sure more of these kids weren't in study hall.

A lot of students were taking advantage of this week to skip saying their smaller friends needed their help.

And hey- I'm not gonna sit here and say that's not why Damian has skipped acting class to sit with me in art the past few days- because he has. Honestly, add it to the book about why he hates me.

Damian loves his acting class.

There's a group of freshmen messing around a table over. I'm on the side of the table opposite from them, but I still eye them worriedly. All I need is for the right book to go flying and I'm done for.

I can feel Damian looking at me before I even lookup.

"You okay, Jan?"

"Yeah. Just tired." I look at him and pray from this size he can't tell that my eyes are red.

Damian clearly doesn't buy it. He's silent for a bit as he studies me carefully before speaking. "I love you." He says with a smile.

My face flushes. To this day, the random reminders still catch me off guard. Damian always seems to know when I need to hear it.

"I love you too." I smile.

Cady awes softly and I feel my face heat up more.

"It's not aw."

"It really is." Cady grins.

Before I can make a comeback, one of the freshmen from the other table, stumbles backward into our desk. The platform I'm sitting on jolts and my hands shoot backwards to catch myself. Only-

There's no desk.

I gasp, as gravity drags me over the edge of the table.

The fall itself was a lot quicker then I expected. My brain hadn't even properly caught up to what had just happened until-

I land on my side, my face grazing against the rough carpeted library floor.

Pain shoots through my arm and my cheek feels hot.

I let out a staggered gasp, screwing my eyes shut.

Everything managed to be burning hot yet ice-cold at the same time. My entire side was enveloped in pain.

It hurt so bad.

My lungs wouldn't work.

I've had the wind knocked out of me before.

But this was so much worse.

I fell off a desk. A two and a half foot drop should not cause me this much pain.

But I'm small.

And fragile.

And probably annoying.

A hand gently scoops me up as I curl in on myself more.

I already have a pretty good idea of who it is but I don't want to open my eyes and deal with the reality of the situation.

I'm tiny.

I fell off a desk.

And now I'm in extreme pain.

So much for not worrying Damian, huh.

"Jan?"

I don't respond.

My face stings. Rug Burn but make it the entire side of your face.

I couldn't tell if it was bleeding or an open wound, but I could tell it was painful as fuck.

"Janis?" Damian tries again. I can hear the fear in his voice, the panic he's trying not to let show.

Because of me.

I roll onto my back and open my eyes.

Damian has his hands resting on the desk and both him and Cady were peering down at me worriedly.

I could tell they were trying to make sure I was okay while still giving me my space but-

it was too much.

"I fell." I say softly.

"Yeah. You did." Cady agrees sadly. "Are you okay?"

"It hurts." I break away from their gazes. The utter heartbreak and the way Damian clearly took it personally was too much.

"I'm so sorry, Jan."

"It's not your fault." I force myself into a sitting position, ignoring the way half my body aches or the way each breath I took felt shallow and empty.

"You fell," Damian said softly, a dejected look on his face. "You got hurt. I watched you just fall. Oh my god-" Damian's hand slips out from underneath me, as I landed gently on the center of the table. "I need to go grab water. I'll be back."

I watch silently as Damian gets up and walks away before I turn around to face Cady.

"Is he-"

"He'll be okay," She says softly, her eyes trailing Damian out of the room. "Are you okay?"

"Just shaken up, I guess," I say, my hand absentmindedly touching the side of my face.

"I think we all are." Cady frowns.

I look to the abandons work Damian was doing before this. "Why did Damian take it so personally?"

Cady signed. "This week with the 'social experiment' has been kinda hard on everyone. We're all a little stressed and- while Damian and I may not know what you're going through, we also have some new changes to adapt to. Like carrying around your best friend. That's a lot of pressure and trust, a literal life in your hands. He just wants to make sure you're okay. To see you fall and get hurt- well, that's just what he was trying to prevent. If it were Aaron that fell, I'd probably react the same. He'll be fine. Just give him time to get water and calm down."

I nod, looking at the table underneath me. Damian is upset, and it's my fault.

Add that to the many reasons he will hate me after this week.

This week is dragging by for me, and I wasn't one of the people shrunk. I can only imagine how Aaron or Janis feel right now. Every morning the student affected by the experiment had to go into the nurse's office for vital checks which meant Damian and I spent most of our time before the official start of the school day waiting outside the nurse's office.

A lot of students waited outside for their friends as well but Damian and I didn't interact with them.

Until today at least.

"Cady?"

I turn around to see Gretchen Weiners walking over.

"Hey!" I smile. "What's up?"

"My stress levels." Damian mumbles from behind me.

Gretchen grins. "I think everyone waiting in this hallway can relate. I assume Damian is here for Janis but what about you Cady? Do you both watch her or-"

"I'm waiting for Aaron actually."

Gretchen wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I quickly raise my hands in defense.

"No- Aaron and I are just friends. Nothing more."

Gretchen deflates with a sigh. "Well, that's boring. Anybody else you're looking for? Maybe another tiny you hang out with a bunch?"

I feel my face flush as I wave my hand. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You, Cady Heron, are a terrible liar." Gretchen winks before turning away. "Bye you two!"

"She's right you know," Damian says once Gretchen is out of earshot. "You are a god awful liar."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I huff, pulling out my phone. "I'm here for Aaron. That's it."

The hallway was never a favorite of mine. I mean, when you're in eighth grade and can't walk two feet without homophobic slurs being thrown at you-

-you learn to hate it.

But this week has turned my hatred for the hallway into a fear of the hallway. The crowds and loud voices that were nothing more than an annoyance before post as an actual threat now. The whole falling incident in the library yesterday just solidified my fears.

I could get hurt so easily at this size.

In the beginning of the week, everyone was careful. The shrink still hadn't fully set in for most people, the fact that this was reality wasn't solidified in our heads.

But people were more reckless now. It was Wednesday, the reality of the situation had set in. The hallways were back to their normal loud and crowded state.

I pressed myself closer to Damian as he passed through a clump of students.

Unlike Aaron, who pretty quickly decided he preferred traveling by shoulder, I stayed in Damian's hands. Too many things could go wrong any other way. I stiffen every time I watch Aaron almost tip over when Cady isn't even walking.

No thanks.

All the locker slams and loud voices created a ringing in my ears and the big groups just made me cringe.

I hated crowds before.

And that's when I wasn't three and a half inches tall.

"You okay, Janis?" Damian asked bringing his hands up more.

"Yeah, it's just- it's overwhelming."

Damian nods. He doesn't understand but- he's trying.

I appreciate it. A lot. He's been so patient during my freakouts. He's so understanding when I hesitate to do the little things, like get picked up. He really is trying.

A locker slams a couple feet away and I instinctively flinch. All the noise is making my head hurt and I just want to go home.

Not home with Damian to the Hubbard's.

My home.

At my full height.

Where I can do things for myself.

Where I'm not in constant danger and a stressor to everyone who cares.

My eyes burn and I look down, rubbing my eyes in hope to stop the tears before they can even fall.

I'm not going to start crying in the middle of the school hallway.

"Janis?"

Of course, Damian caught on to my mood. Why wouldn't he? Why would I just give him a break where he won't constantly worrying about me?

"I'm really fine. I swear. It's tits, dude. Just overwhelmed."

Damian shoots a quick glance at me before looking up again- he is still walking through the halls after all. "I'm-" Damian hesitates. "I'm gonna try something, okay? Just tell me if it's any better or totally worse."

"Huh?"

Damian doesn't explain as he suddenly lifts his hand. I instantly stiffen as I'm hit with slight vertigo, things like this never get any less weird.

What is he doing?! He's moving in the halls why is he- What if I fall or get hurt or-

My inner turmoil is broken as Damian tips his hand and I fall backwards-

-into a pocket?

I'm disoriented as I quickly pull myself up in confusion.

I was in the chest pocket of Damian's denim jacket. He looks down at me.

"You okay?"

I pause, looking around. "Yeah. I'm good."

It was, new. As were a lot of things this week.

But new didn't mean bad. I don't know what I expected the inside of a pocket to be like, but, it was pretty roomy. And if I ducked fully in, the loud bangs of the hallway were muffled.

I sunk down as Damian continued walking, satisfied that I was okay. Light streamed through the lip of the pocket, which shifted as Damian walked. Light also filtered gently through the denim fabric, so it wasn't very dark or unsettling. It was the opposite actually. I couldn't see everything going on around me, but it wasn't bad. I wasn't scared not to be aware of my surroundings. The overall presence of Damian was a welcoming comfort amongst the muted sounds of outside.

And-

Holy shit.

I've fallen asleep laying with Damian before. I've had my head on his chest before, I know what his heartbeat sounds like.

But from here it's so loud and clear. It's directly next to me and I can almost feel it in my body.

I'm really small enough to fit in a fucking pocket, huh.

The sounds of the hallway outside fade and I pop my head up. We've reached our next class.

Damian sits at his desk and I allow myself to be scooped up carefully.

"Were the hallways better now?"

I grin. "Dude- you have a loud fucking heartbeat."

"Hey, Gretchen?" I roll the pencil in front of me back and forth, unable to look up and meet Gretchen's eyes.

"Yeah, Regina?"

I take a deep breath, looking up. "Was- am I a bad friend?"

Gretchen leans back in her chair, tilting her head. "What do you mean?"

I already want out of this conversation. Emotions are gross and I hate it here. But- Gretchen deserves this talk. She has done so much for me this week and she's always done so much for me. Even when I wasn't tiny, Gretchen was there if I ever needed her. No hesitation and at any hour. I took advantage of that for so long.

"This week, when I stopped yelling and being bossy and- basically when I stopped being a bitch, you noticed. That means in the past I had had to have been such an asshole that I go one day without snapping and it's such a difference that you pick up on it. So like-" I shrug, looking back at the pencil in front of me. "Sorry, I guess. For being a big bitch."

I never thought I'd be pouring my feelings to my friend in study hall when I'm under four inches tall and sitting on a desk.

But I also never thought I'd be under four inches tall in general.

"Regina," Gretchen pauses, at a loss. Clearly, she wasn't expecting an apology.

I don't know if that makes me feel any better about my past actions.

"This week helps me realize that I really took advantage of how much you care about me," I explain. "I don't know what I would do without you, Gretchen. Karen too. But- you were there the most this week. Even after all I've done is been a bitch. So, I'm sorry for being a bitch. And thank you for uh- caring."

Gretchen smiles. "Of course, Regina. You're my best friend. And you aren't always 'bitchy'," She does air quotes with a grin. "Thank you for apologizing though. It means a lot."

I smile sheepishly, turning my attention back to the pencil as I begin to roll it again. "Yeah well, an apology was overdue."

"Janis, why do I get the feeling this is a disaster waiting to happen?" Damian asks from where he sat behind me. The obvious amusement in his voice is not lost on me.

"Because, it probably is," I answer simply.

It was Thursday and to say I was falling behind in art was an understatement. I needed to do something if I wanted a piece to enter into the next art show. Besides, the art was already sketched onto the canvas I just had to start applying paint.

How bad could this be?

I had has Damian layout paints onto a pallet for me as I grabbed the lightest brushes I could find. It was a thin tip which wasn't bad since I was going to be using small brushes for the background anyway.

I've tried using a pencil at this size before. It's hard- but not impossible. It just feels like a full-body workout and the lines are sloppy. How hard could using a paintbrush be?

Very hard.

For starters, pencil tips are solid. I can rest the pencil on the surface I'm drawing on and use my body weight to move it.

I have to actually hold the paintbrush or else I'll damage the tip.

I hear Damian laugh behind me as I lean backwards a bit too far, trying to find balance with the weight of the paintbrush.

I land on my butt, the brush rolling off my lap and onto the table.

"Great." I groan, flopping backward.

I can't even hold it long enough to dip it into the paint.

"It was a beautiful attempt." Damian teases. "Maybe next time."

"Shut up." I sit up again, turning to him. "Not all of us can stand full height and pick up a paintbrush easily-" My voice trails off as I get an idea.

"No," Damian leans back in this chair. "I don't know what you're thinking but I'll tell you right now the answer is no. I know that look on your face."

"Please?" I whine. "Damian, I haven't even told you my idea yet."

He huffs. "What is your idea?"

I pick up the paintbrush, stumbly as I hold it out to Damian. "I tell you where the color goes, you do the painting."

Damian shakes his head. "Janis you know I can't paint."

"Just listen to what I say and it will be fine!"

Damian takes the paintbrush from me but lowers it back to the table. "No way. I'm not gonna ruin your work."

"Damian, you wouldn't be ruining it. Please? I know you can do it. C'mon, I need to start the painting before it's too late!" I walk back over to my canvas. "I'd literally point where it goes and we'd be fine. Please? I can't do it myself."

"You couldn't ask Cady or something? You're talking to the person with the least artistic talent in the world."

I roll my eyes. "You're being dramatic. C'mon, let's start with blue."

"It's your funeral." Damian sigh, picking up the paintbrush.

I grin, walking over to the canvas. "See that section? That whole area is that shade of the blue. And then we can mix the lighter shade for closer to the right."

"I agreed to put color on a canvas- I'm not mixing shades."

"Damian that's literally the easiest part."

"Are you lying or is it actually?"

"Well- for some people it can be."

"Janis."

"Relax! I believe in you. You're gonna do great."

"Regina, are you excited?" Karen asked.

"Yeah, I can't wait."

It was finally fucking Friday. By the end of today I'll be back to normal.

It felt weird.

Like, I was so ready to get back to normal, but this week helped me learn some things about myself and my friendships.

It definitely a week I don't think I'll ever forget.

"Let's go." Gretchen smiles, scooping me up.

"Yknow," I laughed nervously. "Maybe staying small isn't such a bad idea- I mean, no needles that way, right?"

"Janis." Damian shook his head.

Last week I had no warning before the shot. I didn't have time to panic. Yeah, I was scared, but I was mostly confused. Now, I was terrified.

They were giving the shots and then sending the tinies to the cafeteria to wait for it to sink in. Apparently this time it would only take about ten minutes.

"Damian, did you see what they did to Aaron? The syringes are huge."

"Yes, but the needles aren't. The needles are tiny, it's gonna feel just like a normal shot. The syringes are so big so the doctors can see what they're doing. It's okay."

"What if they miss? What if they inject whatever the fuck into a major vein?! Is that how shots normally work?! I don't even know Damian! I don't want to bleed out and die!"

"You aren't going to bleed out and die." Damian shifts me into one hand. We're next in l- well, I'm next in line.

"Are you sure there's like- no other alternative?"

Damian shook his head. "Nope, Jan. Sorry."

I hug my arms tighter around myself. Damian had taken my jacket from be five minutes ago. This isn't his first time making sure I get my shots. He knew what to do. And typically, he knew how to help.

But nothing was bringing me comfort at this point. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the giant fucking syringes. Can you blame me? So what the needle is the width of an average needle for my hight? The syringe is still as tall as me. And that's scary as fuck.

Add that on top of the fact that needles, in general, are scary as fuck and I'm not having a good time.

I feel like I may puke as Damian steps forward.

It's my turn.

Oh fuck.

Hell no.

I'd rather stay tiny and die than get a fucking shot.

"Damian-"

"I know, Jan. It's gonna be okay."

It's a different nurse then who gave me the shot last week. "It's okay to be nervous!" She already seems nicer than the other nurse.

Not that it helps.

"I know it seems scary but it's just like a normal shot. Same ol' pinch."

I force a weak smile.

Can Damian feel how bad I'm shaking?

I truly don't think this is worth it.

I could simply pass away.

That's a good alternative.

The nurse turns around to a table where her tools are stationed. "Do you want to be set down somewhere or-"

"No," My voice is strained and it's painfully obvious I'm terrified. "I can do it with Damian."

The nurse nods, walking over.

Now,

I was terrified before.

But when I physically saw the needle?

Game over.

"W-wait-" I step backward ignoring the way Damain's other hand shoots up to make sure I don't fall.

The nurse pauses but doesn't lower the needle or step back.

"Jan, it's gonna be easier if you get it over with." Damian reminds me gently.

"No- I know I just-" I step back again. "I can't- I-" I was dangerously close to the edge of Damian's hand. There was no more room for me back up.

I couldn't take my eyes off the needle. The syringe has to be as tall as I was. It-

Fuck.

"Janis," Damian's voice is a familiar stern but soft. "You need to get the shot."

I can't bring myself to respond verbally as I shake my head.

I can't.

Nope.

No.

I-

There's movement out of the corner of my eye as fingers wrap around me, pinning my arms to my sides.

I gasp, snapped out of my thoughts.

"Damian-"

"Please, Jan, you need to get the shot."

"Put me down!"

It's a fist. That's what if fucking is.

It's not painful, Damian isn't being hard or anything. But I sure as hell can't move. My bicep is totally exposed and I can't move my arms or turn away or-

The nurse catches onto what Damian's doing and steps closer.

"Damian put me down! Please!"

He doesn't move as the nurse steps closer. A giant cloth is swiped against my arm, cleaning it and I freeze, turning away.

I can't get out of this.

I can't avoid it.

Just like last week, there's a pinching sensation on my arm and I stiffen.

There are tears at the corners of my eyes and I feel childish that it affecting me this much.

Why can't I be normal and just get a shot?

Damian's hand around me opens as the nurse steps away and I sit down in the center of his palm. "I'm sorry," He says holding me up to eye level. "But you know you needed that shot."

"No, I didn't." I cross my arms.

"Janis." Damian shakes his head with a laugh.

He walked away from the stations and over to the cafe. Inside was just a bunch of tinies placed on tables and honestly, it was a comedic sight.

"I wanna go over by Aaron," I say, pointing to one of the closer tables.

Damian nods, walking over.

I slip off his hand as we reach the table and wave. "Bye. Love you. And uh- thanks for helping me with the shot."

Damian laughs. "Of course, Jan. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."

"So, how did Ms. I hate shots, Janis Sarkisian, deal with the needle?" Aaron asked.

I huff. "Don't wanna talk about it."

The hallway buzzed with nervous energy. I talked idly with Gretchen as we waited, but the undercurrent of excitement wasn't missed by anyone.

It was still technically school hours but all student who helped their smaller classmates this week was outside the cafeteria, waiting eagerly to see their friends at full height again.

I watched as Damian left the cafeteria and I waved him over.

"Janis, as always, was a nuisance at getting her shot."

"Hello to you too." I grin. "Really that bad?"

"It's always that bad. She kicked a nurse once! She's gotten better, I used to have to hold a thirteen-year-old Janis in my lap just for a flu shot, but I guess a syringe the size of you is pretty scary because all improvement went out the fucking window."

Gretchen nodded. "Middle school Regina and Janis had a lot in common. Most notable? Their fear of needles."

"Well, Aaron was fine." I grin.

"Wow, lucky you." Gretchen rolled her eyes. "But- that's over now and hopefully we won't ever have to deal with giant needles ever again."

"Don't jinx us." I laugh.

Damian grins. "Since its technically still the school day I gotta bolt and talk to a teacher really fast but I'm gonna do my best to get back before they're all out. Whenever that is."

"Alright," I wave him off. "Go hurry!"

My libs felt weird and my head hurt a bit but I could care less.

I was back.

Full height.

I high fived Aaron as we grinned.

This entire week was a giant nightmare.

Pun intended.

But it was over.

I'm back.

"Hell yeah!"

We follow the crowd of classmates, all normal height again, out into the hallway.

There were students everywhere hugging and cheering.

I looked around, unable to find Cady or Damian.

Aaron stepped past me, beelining to his soccer friends.

The dude spent equal time with Cady and his teammates so I'm sure I'll see him talking to Cady later.

There's a thump somewhere to my left and I turn to see all three plastics on the ground in a hug, Regina clearly having taken them down.

I grin but move on, continuing my own search for my friends.

I know Damian said he needed to talk with a teacher and he may not still be back but-

Cady should be here somewhere.

Despite being back to normal height I can't see over the mass of students.

I step away from the door and start making my way through the crowd in hopes of better luck finding either of my friends.

My eye catches a familiar reddish head of hair through the sea of students.

I grin, pushing through the crowd.

Cady has her back to me as I stand next to her. She's on the phone and doesn't notice.

"No Damian, I don't see either of them. Yes you should hurry, are you kidding me?! Okay, okay, you're right. Bye."

"So, who are we looking for?"

Cady whirls around to face me. "Janis?!"

"Mhm?"

Cady grins, pulling me into a tight hug, pressing her face into my shoulder.

"Nice to see you too, Cads." I laugh, wrapping my arms around her.

We pull apart and she grins up at me. "I forgot how tall you were."

"Yeah, me too."

As I suspected earlier, Aaron walks over and I step away, giving them space to talk.

I stand by the edge of the hallway, separating myself from the crowd.

I may not be small as fuck anymore but that doesn't make me hate big groups any less.

"Janis!"

I smile, turning to the sound of my name, already knowing who it is.

"You took your sweet time." I grin.

Damian doesn't respond he simply pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me.

For spending the whole week with Damian, I felt like I missed him. Or really just the hugs.

I missed the hugs.

I gladly return the hug, laughing as Damian just holds me tighter.

"I'm glad you're okay." He says softly.

There was so much emotion in that one sentence as Damian squeezes softly.

I pull back a little bringing my hands up to his cheeks. "Hey."

"Hi." He whispers. There are tears in his eyes, matching the ones probably in my own.

"Thank you so much for everything you did this week, man. I love you."

"I love you, too."

I smile softly as Damian presses a kiss to my forehead before pulling away.

"It feels weird standing here at this size." I confess, looking at the crowd of students in the halls.

"It's gonna take some getting used to after this week." Damian nods.

"Yeah." I agree, turning back to him. My eye catches his denim jacket. I step forward, hooking my pointer finger over the lip of his chest pocket. "Jesus Christ, that's a small fucking pocket."

"Yeah, Jan. It is."

"I was small!"

"Mhm."

"Give me your hand."

Damian complies, and I raise my hand next to his in comparison. I've always had small hands so I'm not surprised when his are bigger than mine. But still-

I fit in his hand.

"Woah."

Damian laughs. "Now do you see how I felt?"

"Yeah. That's tits."

"Mm, not the word I would use, but sure, Jan. It was tits."

"I wouldn't do it again tho."

"Thank god." Damian shakes his head. "Stupid social experiment."

"Stupid social experiment." I agree.

dw, janis lived her life at the hubbards and never saw her mother again. as she should. @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt @sourishlemons

#g/t mean girls #tiny janis #tiny regina #tiny aaron #giant damian #giant cady #giant gretchen #giant karen #shirnkkkkkkkkkkk #this literally took a week to write

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uniarchive · 5 years ago

Text

Be The Light | 1

pairing im jaebeom (mark wants some ha) x female reader

genre fluff, romance, angst, future smut (F/M)

warnings swearing, depression, anxiety (basically our adult lives)

summary you can say emily is living the dream after she left south america to pursue her dream job in the united states working in a big kpop concert tour around the country, but her past comes back to haunt her bringing out her worst insecurities. luckily she finds a home in seven men, one of them becomes her light. what opportunities wait for her if she works hard enough?

writer’s note this is my first actual fanfic. This story is really close and personal to my heart. GOT7 is a very honest group as you all know, I just assume they’ve been through some really tough moments in all their years in the industry and they’ve voiced that through song and sns. I’m not confirming they have any mental disorder/disease ‘cause I don’t know them personally… I just really wanted to write about it in my perspective of actually suffering from mental struggles and ‘cause I wish I could help them in any way when they struggle (but I can’t) :( english is not my first language so I apologize for anything that doesn’t quite make sense. Feel free to let me know in my inbox if there’s anything I need to change.

chapters: one | two | three

CHAPTER 1 (words 973)

“Is everything ready for sound check? The Korean team is ready.” I pressed the microphone button on my talkie as I spoke to the rest of my team.

“Everything set, bring them in.” Michael, our sound designer responded.

“Thank you, Michael. I’ll call them in now.”

I half trotted from side stage, keeping in mind our short amount of scheduled time, until I reached the waiting room areas.

“Seungmin-ssi, my team is ready for sound check. I’ll take you all to the stage when you’re ready.” I spoke in korean to Choi Seung-min, their tour manager, as he went inside. I waited outside the waiting room before I took a quick glance at my watch to keep a track of time.

As he called the team, I heard the chaos installing inside the waiting area. Of course… Just as I thought. They’re just as energetic and loud as I thought they’d be.

I couldn’t help but let a small smile creep in the corner of my mouth. Remembering where I was as I looked around the backstage of the arena, I suddenly felt proud of myself. All the hard work payed off, since working with shady event organizers in Brazil as a hobby, until I could actually make a living out of my dream job in another country. I never thought I would actually have the opportunity to work with my favorite group whom I fell in love with so many years ago already, GOT7.

This was my dream coming true. Working in an arena tour with a great team and great artists. But I couldn’t help but still feel something missing and want more.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I saw a very excited Yugyeom pop his way out of the waiting room. I bowed saying hello and he smiled looking at me. Bambam was next, rocking one of his iconic yellow glasses and Mark came out with a face mask resting against his chin. Soon after, I saw Jackson joking around with Jinyoung who was 100% done since he was probably still jet-lagged and Youngjae combing his still non-styled fringe with his fingers. Jaebeom was last leaving the room with what seemed like a manager and another staff. They all stood opposite from me, most of them looking at me for the first time, the stranger wearing all black and with A LOT of equipment in her belt. I finally smiled at all of them and looked over at Seungmin manager who spoke:

“Guys, this is Emily, she is an artistic producer and event supervisor and will be with us during the whole American tour.” I bowed and as I heard all their low hellos in English.

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you!” I replied in korean to the shock of them all. I absolutely loved the expression on korean’s (well, korean speakers) faces when I opened my mouth in my 5’5 glory, 0% Asian, to speak fluent Korean.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t greet you all in the airport to take you to the hotel, but I wanted to make sure everything was ready in the arena before you came.” I said smiling. I couldn’t help but feel a little shy. Although I worked with people 24/7, I was still very shy meeting new people. These were seven of my favorite people in the whole world right in front of me, that didn’t help my social skills AT ALL. But I needed to be absolutely professional during this whole tour.

“Oh, you speak Korean very well!” I heard Youngjae say excited. I shyly laughed looking at the floor for a moment.

“Yes, I speak Korean! So If you need anything please let me know.” I replied looking at GOT7 and the rest of their team who joined us. The managers bowed their heads in a positive motion. “We’re ready for your soundcheck so please follow me this way.”

I leaded the way in the long corridor as twelve people followed me. GOT7 started chatting with each other again and I felt a presence closer to my back.

He spoke and I recognized his deep voice right away, Jackson.

“You look very young to be a producer and a supervisor, how old are you? If you don’t mind answering of course.” He spoke in english, maybe because he was more comfortable with it.

I looked back and smiled with the corner of my mouth.

“It’s okay, I get that a lot. I’m turning 24 this year, I was born in 1996.” He finally took my side and started walking beside me.

“Oh wow, you are Youngjae’s age! 영재아, 동갑이야 (YOUNGJAE-AH, YOU’RE THE SAME AGE)!” He screamed the last part in korean making everyone look at us. I didn’t have a mirror but I sure could feel my cheeks burning up.

Youngjae ran to the front of the group and walked by my left. I was in a sandwich of GOT7. Not that I am complaining.

“It’s good to know there’s someone my age for once. I hope we can get close to each other.” My heart felt warm from his words but my mind still needed to get used to mixing english and korean.

“I’m happy you feel this way, I hope you all can feel comfortable with me.” I smiled at them.

“If I were you I would be careful with your words, most of us get comfortable with people really fast.” Jinyoung joined the conversation joking with the boys.

“It’s okay,” I answered laughing “It’s better if we all have a good relationship cause we’ll see each other a lot during this tour. Please feel free to ask me anything.” I walked in front of them again and through short stairs until we reached the stage.

_________________________________________________________________________________

• be the light

→ chapter two

#got7 #got7 jaebum #jaebum fanfic #jaebum smut #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #got7 smut #jaebeom #masterlist #be the light

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swimmingnewsie · 5 years ago

Text

Of Coffee and Cookies (Chapter 2)

I’m glad to see everyone enjoyed the first chapter! I’m having a lot of fun writing this AU, getting to explore these characters in a new way. I hope you all continue to enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it.

Enjoy!

Link to Chapter 1 Link to AO3

—

When Elsa was working, she could ignore many things. She had missed many a visitor because she was focused so intently on a research article. Many phone calls and texts went unanswered in the swarm of working on her dissertation. Anna had always told her she was jealous of her focus, but in reality it was easy to get swept up in it all. If she was working, she wasn’t worrying, and that worked well enough for her. But there was one breach in that focus.

Well, three breaches actually: Olaf, Marshmallow, and Bruni.

Like she could everything else, Elsa could ignore her cats whines and meows as they played with one another, desperate to distract their owner. Anna kept them occupied during the daytime before she went to work, but nighttime was all her responsibility. But there was only so much she could take, before she could give into their pleas. So, Elsa usually went to Anna’s work for her lunch break, dropping off food often forgotten in their fridge and set up shop in the cafe for a bit to work, leaving her small friends to do their own thing until she came back from working. Then it was playtime, much to the delight of her small friends.

Today, however, the stars had aligned in Anna remembering to bring her lunchbox and Elsa having a breakthrough idea for her latest project, leaving her to work uninterrupted for five hours after her lecture. Well uninterrupted until Olaf decided he had enough and that it was supper time, pawing at Elsa’s legs meowing for attention.

“All right, all right,” she murmured, her annoyance gone when the white cat crawled up into her lap. “I guess it is dinner time, huh,” she said looking up at the clock, stroking his fur. 7:28. Certainly a productive evening for sure.

“Come on. Go find your brothers. “ Elsa dropped Olaf and sent him off while she went to the kitchen. She was surprised that they hadn’t whined earlier for food. Unless, she had ignored it. And now her cats were actually starving and it was all her fault and-

“Breathe,” she told herself, catching the thought pattern. “They’re fine. They aren’t going to starve because I fed them an hour late.” Elsa shook her head and got back to the task at hand, opening the bag of dry food. All three of her cats ran at the sound of their food, Bruni and Marshmallow swatting at her legs. It gave her a good laugh. “Settle, you two. I can only pour so fast.”

All three cats content in eating, Elsa wandered to her pantry to figure out what she needed to do for her own food. She ended up settling on a simple pasta meal for her and Anna, a bit too frayed to get into cooking like she normally would. Then it occurred to her to check her phone, see if Anna was doing okay at work.

Three new messages. That was odd.

Two were from Anna telling her about her day and reminding her to eat at some point and give their cats a snuggle for her. “Already taken care of that,” Elsa laughed to herself. She was grateful for her sisters messages.

But the third message was odd.

Hi, thank you for getting my coffee today! I had a really rough one and needed it. Maybe we can talk again sometime?

It was an unknown number, and she hadn’t stepped foot in the cafe today. Maybe it was a wrong number?

I’m sorry I think you might have the wrong number? I didn’t buy anyone coffee today? Sorry.

She responded and was ready to move on until her phone vibrated once more.

Is this not Elsa? I’m sorry, I’m reading the phone number off a coffee cup it’s hard to read.

She was ready to kill Anna when she got home. She dialed the familiar number on her phone, ready to demand an explanation.

“Mermaid’s Siren on 5th and Oak, this is Kristoff. How can I help you?”

“Hey Kristoff, it’s Elsa,” she said trying to keep her composure. “How long until Anna’s last ten?”

“I’d guess about thirty minutes? What’s up? Is everything okay?”

Elsa subconsciously nodded. “We’re fine. It seems my sister is quite the trickster and I’m going to kill her.”

“So she texted you?”

Elsa huffed. “So you knew about this?”

“I didn’t see the phone number until after I handed it out. Sorry, Els.” She could hear him sigh over the phone, just as exasperated as she was. “So are you going to text her back?”

“What am I going to say? ‘Sorry my sister is playing matchmaker and even though you’re really pretty this is not the way to go about it.’?”

“So you do think she’s pretty.” Elsa could almost hear the smirk in his voice. “Look, maybe you should talk to her. You’ve certainly got your foot in the door. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Elsa sighed. “You’re no help. Get back to work, I’ll bug Anna in 30.”

“Alright, talk at you soon, Elsa.”

I am. It appears my sister Anna has been meddling again. Sorry about that. She thinks I don’t socialize enough. But I hope your coffee was good!

Friendly, but not too serious. Secretly, Elsa hoped the woman texted her back as she turned back to her stove. And sure enough, a small buzz went off, making her heart flutter.

Well it’s nice to meet you regardless. I’m Honeymaren, but my friends call me Maren. It was actually tea and it was delicious! Well even if your sister is a trickster maybe we could get together and talk some time? Always nice to have more friends.

Elsa felt the blood rushing to her face, infinitely glad she was home alone at the moment. Honeymaren- no Maren- wanted to be friends? This was not how she was expecting this night to go. She was still certainly irritated that Anna had given her phone number out without telling her. But maybe this was worth pursuing.

I teach MWF until 3:00 but after that one day? Or TR my schedule is a bit more flexible.

She sent out the message before she could chicken out. Why was she even nervous? It was just an offer to hang out. “Because you’ve had an anxiety disorder since you were 12, stupid,” she mumbled. She called herself a name, she noted. “Not stupid. Reframe the thought. You’re just feeling bashful. It’s okay to have nerves.” Recovery was annoying to remember sometimes.

The buzz took her attention again.

I teach everyday haha. How is Tuesday at 4:00? Maybe we could grab a coffee and take a walk?

It made her smile. Anna would probably tease the poor girl relentlessly, but they wouldn’t be in the shop long even if she did.

That sounds perfect.

Elsa was still going to yell at her sister later. But maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

—

“Mare, you’re going to get coffee and go for a walk. It’s not that big of a deal.”

Maren sighed as she drove them. She had decided to drive Ryder to the gym so that she had an out if need be. “It just feels this way. I don’t know, something just feels different.”

Ryder rolled his eyes, situating himself. “You’re a math teacher, not an English teacher. Stop reading too much into this and enjoy yourself.”

Maren stuck her tongue out at her brother. “You only say that because you haven’t been on a date since we were 16.”

“Low blow.” He dramatically turned away from her, staring out the window.

“Doesn’t make it any less true,” she teased affectionately as she pulled into the gym’s parking lot. “Get going, you bum. Your boys are waiting. See you around 6:00?”

He gave her a light shove with his backpack. “Yeah. Let me know if you all need a little longer. Or a hotel room.”

Maren shoved her brother right back. “Now who’s reading too much in things?”

“Always be prepared and remember a condom!” Ryder laughed as he left the car. He blew her a kiss, and she flipped him off. Traditional parting words.

Maren knew she was overthinking. Like her brother had said, it really was just a cup of coffee and a walk. Even if she hoped that perhaps this could become something more. She barely knew anything about Elsa. She was her favorite barista’s sister. She spent an inordinate amount of time reading about microbiology and glaciers. She was the most gorgeous woman Maren had ever met in her life. That wasn’t much if anything to build a relationship on. And yet, she still felt that desire to know more.

Before she knew it, she had pulled into the parking lot of Mermaid’s Siren. It was packed as always for the time of day. Perhaps it really was better that they were going out instead of enjoying a cup in the cafe. They’d have more privacy to say the least.

Entering the cafe, she couldn’t see the girl’s signature platinum blonde hair anywhere. It had always fascinated her, she had never seen someone with hair like that that seemed natural. Perhaps it was natural, it just seemed odd in contrast to her sister’s vibrant red hair. Taking a deep breath, she headed to the register and gave her order to the barista- it was one of the younger kids today. She thanked the young girl, paid, and went to a table to wait.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to wait long. Elsa ran into the cafe a few minutes later obviously a bit panicked over her lateness. “Elsa?” she asked cautiously.

“Hi- um- Hi, Maren,” Elsa said, clearly out of breath. “I’m- I’m sorry I’m late. Were you waiting long?”

“No, not long at all,” Maren gave a small laugh. Elsa was cute when she was flustered like this. The few stray strands falling out of her braid only exaggerated the feeling. “Go ahead and order. There’s no rush.” Elsa hurried off with a silent thanks. Maren couldn’t wait to see where this would go.

—

“So you’re a teacher too?”

“Sort of. Graduate student, teaching assistant, researcher, somewhat a professor? It’s a big mess when you get to the doctoral level as far as what your actual job is. But it pays enough for the apartment and the cats, so who am I to complain?”

Elsa could feel herself truly relaxed as they walked, something she hadn’t felt with a stranger in quite some time. Maren had suggested that they went to walk over to a nearby park and there couldn’t have been a better idea. The leaves were just starting to change color as the early autumn breeze brushed by them. It was quiet but not silent and everything just felt right.

Elsa’s thoughts on her employment made Maren laugh. It was such a beautiful sound, something she wished would never vanish. “Well, at least they pay you better than me. Teaching 150 eleven-year-olds does not pay as much as I put in. But like they say, you don’t get into education for the money.”

“Isn’t that the truth,” Elsa agreed. “If you take out the tuition remission, I’d say it’s a lot closer than you think.” The worries started to creep in the back of her head. You weren’t supposed to talk about things like wages and pay on a first date. No no, that establishes some power dynamic. Wait was this even a date? It felt like a date. But she didn’t even know-

Maren nodded oblivious to Elsa’s worries. “I’m sure I’ll know soon enough. I wanna go back and get my masters soon. I just- I love it so much and want to know even more, be that about math or about teaching. Did you have to take the GRE?”

Elsa sighed, happy the topic had changed to a more neutral topic. “Unfortunately yes. I’m a biologist! I shouldn’t have to go and take a vocabulary test there is no list to study from!”

Maren laughed again making Elsa’s heart warm. “Precisely! I’m just having so much trouble studying for it because of that. It’s stupid. They should just keep the argument and math sections. Those are the important ones. Or at least weight them differently based on your programs.”

A lightbulb went off in Elsa’s mind. “Well, I could help you study if you want? I did pretty well, 165.” Shit. Power dynamics again. She needed to stop this before she came off as some arrogant-

“Seriously? I would love that!”

Thank goodness. The anxieties melted as Elsa smiled and nodded at her. “Absolutely. Maybe this weekend? We could meet up at the cafe again, get some things started? I’m sure I’ve got my notes still.”

“Perfect. The only thing I have going is brunch with my parents and Ryder- shit!” Maren’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I just, what time is it?”

Elsa waved her hand. “No no, don’t worry. I’ve said far worse before. 6:05. Got somewhere to be?”

“I was supposed to pick up my brother at 6:00. I’m sorry to cut this short,” Maren said, embarrassment evident. “But yes, let’s plan on this weekend. I’ll text you tonight.”

“Don’t worry about it, I understand,” Elsa said, calmness in her voice. “We’ll talk tonight.”

Honeymaren smiled and reached for Elsa’s hands. She grabbed them, bringing them close to her face before pressing a light kiss on her knuckles. “I can’t wait. Until then, m’lady.”

“Good- good night then,” she sputtered, stunned by what just happened.

Elsa stood in awe watching as Maren walked back to her car, her mind playing the afternoon over and over again. She analyzed every interaction from how Maren had grabbed her hand running to look at the lake to the way she listened to her talk about microbiology. She was too anxious for this kind of thing. Or too gay. Or both.

Her phone buzzed bringing her attention back to the present.

Mermaid’s Siren 1PM Saturday? I’ll buy your coffee

She smiled.

Perfect.

#frozen #elsamaren #frohana #snow sisters #ice bros #christ i wrote 2300 words #i love these nerds #my fic

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