#Sorry guys living out my stylist fantasies over here
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packing to go home tomorrow im only there for a week... thoughts on my clothes list!!!
- 2 maxi skirts, one denim one to wear out one earthy ruffly patterned one which is comfy and can be dressed up or down
- 2 pairs of jeans... realistically i should bring one pair but i love them boooth. i might ditch one 💔 ok im keeping the baggy dark wash pair bc they are easier to style w what im bringing
- 2 knit jumpers one black one oatmeal coloured
- 2 tshirts a white blondie one which i cut off the shoulder and a dark gomez shirt which covers all the bases rlly
- 2 long sleeves to layer underneath things if im cold!!! a black one and a grey one
- 1 blouse but i havent decided which one yet. maybe my beige peasant blouse w drapy sleeves so funnn
- 1 dress it is green and plaid and very cute
- my big black coat bc it is warm and goes with eeeeverything
CANNOT decide on shoes. i rlly wanna bring my tasselled black cowboy boots bc i lit wear them every day and they go so well with EVERYTHING including jeans bc theyre just above the ankle!!! but like realistically i should wear my biker boots bc they are more Normal and dont make a Shk Shk Shk sound when i walk. much to consider... i dont have room to pack 2 pairs of shoes...
vibe i like to go for when im at home w my parents is like a little more chic less whimsical less gothy... like a cool chill girl from a band. so this is what i am curating here. i think this is a really good packing list like ive covered all the bases going with mostly b&w and denim so i can mix and match but then playing with texture more to compensate
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BruiserMates
Word Count: 4,644 (it's a long one)
Warnings: Sexual Situations, banter, there's some fluff in there somewhere.
Summary: The British Bruiserweight is more grumpy than usual. But his friends and a co-worker think they just might know a way to fix it. (Also, I tried to make an attempt to keep true with accents for the first time. So I apologize if it's horrible!)
The lukewarm water rushed out of a shower head in the back of the arena. The water pressure in these showers were never that good, but it was early and Lauren had the whole locker room to herself. She had the curtain drawn for privacy, just in case anyone else arrived early. Mostly because she was in the men’s showers. And just as she was rinsing the shampoo out of her hair, she heard several voices from the locker room echo into the bathroom.
"You could've stopped to get breakfast first." A British accent rang out.
"They 'ad food at the hotel." The familiar accent of Pete filled the room.
"Not anything for a vegan. And ya know that." Another voice argued.
"I don't know every damn vegan place in tha country." Pete spat back.
"Uh guys, just so you know you're not alone in here." Lauren informed them.
"Who in the bloody hell is that?"
"Lauren. I'm a backstage interviewer here. I really needed a shower after my workout before I got ready to work and they were cleaning in the women's locker room when I got there. No one was in here so I ran in. I'll be quick." She explained.
"Pete?"
"Yeah, she works here." He vouched, recognizing her voice.
"Ah. Alright then love. As long as you work here. I'm Tyler by the way."
"Trent." The other voice rang out.
"You guys are here from NXT UK for the tag tournament, right?" Lauren asked.
"You got it love." Trent answered as he turned on a shower on the opposite side of where Lauren was. "And you don't 'av to rush. We don't mind if you don't."
"As long as you stay on that side of the curtain." Lauren responded in a joking but friendly way.
"Great." Pete murmured.
"What's wrong with you?" Trent asked him.
"He's still sore about his girlfriend messin' around on him." Tyler answered getting ready to get a shower himself.
"Tell my business to the whole locker room, why don't ya." Pete said annoyed.
"She's the only otha one in here. And she sees ya more than us. I'm sure she's noticed you're grumpy."
"No more than usual." Lauren said as she conditioned her hair.
"Aw piss off all of ya."
"See? He's always this pleasant."
"I thought you said you were gonna be quick." Pete pointed out.
"I was, until Trent was nice enough to tell me I didn't have to. So now I'm taking my time."
Pete let out an aggravated grunt. "I can't shower with 'er in here."
"Relax Pete, I'm almost done. What brings you guys in here so early anyway?"
"Time change. Kind of has us messed up. And Pete just doesn't sleep." Tyler replied. "What about you? And working out nonetheless. I’d think you’d moreso be off writing questions."
"How else am I supposed to fit myself into those tiny dresses they want me to wear?" Lauren partially joked, causing two of the englishmen to chuckle. "I have a few interviews I have to do for some social media shows before the actual show tonight. This was the only time I could fit in a work out. I was going to shower real quick then get to work, but the women’s bathroom was closed, so I that brought me here. I guess it’s just bad timing.”
"Ah, I wouldn't say that love." Trent said.
"Well maybe not on my part. Anybody could walk in here. So many people have probably had fantasies that start like this. But apparently, it’s bad timing for some of you.”
"Would any of those fantasies include any of us by any chance?" Trent asked in a joking tone.
“Trent, ya can’t just ask a woman ya just met something like that.” Tyler chastised.
“Why not? I’m just joking.”
"Hm, some just might." Lauren answered.
"For fucks sake…"
"Jesus Pete calm down, I'm done. I'll be out of your hair in a minute." Lauren said as she turned off the water and wrapped her towel around herself.
"Yeah relax mate. We're just messin' around." Trent said to his friend.
"You need to get laid." Lauren stated.
"Excuse me?" Pete asked, sounding offended.
"We've been telling him that the last two weeks love." Tyler said to her.
She pulled open the curtain and stepped out of the shower stall. "Take it from someone who pushed away a lot of her friends by being a negative mope after going through a rough breakup. If she's gonna fuck around, then so can you. Try smiling, go get laid, and live. See ya later boys. I believe I'll be the one interviewing you later!" Lauren called out before walking away.
Lauren left them alone in the men's locker room and walked back to the women's which was thankfully now able to be occupied. She walked quicker than she planned seeing as how she couldn't get dressed there with the guys there. So she was running around in just a towel. No one had really showed up to get ready yet, but she still had to go over interview questions, get dressed, and was expected by the stylists soon. She was rummaging through her bag when there was a lock at the door. She dropped what was in her hands and curiously walked over to the door. Upon opening it she saw an annoyed Pete Dunne standing there. He was still in his trousers, nice button down shirt, and vest. His hair pulled back. Obviously he still hadn't gotten into the shower yet.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of a visit from you? Miss me already?"
Pete held out a plastic bag with tiny bottles inside. "Ya left your crap in the shower."
"And you're such a gentleman you brought it back to me?" Lauren joked.
"I drew the short straw."
"You sure it doesn't have anything to do with what I said?" She asked as she took the plastic bag from him. “Because my fantasies about you usually start with me still dressed and you ripping my clothes off me, but if this is how it happens I’ll take it.”
“No, it’s because I was the only one who was still dre…wait, what?”
Lauren smiled "Thanks for bringing my stuff back Pete. I forgot it in all the conversation. And if you’re just here to drop it off, I really need to finish getting ready. I need to be in make-up soon. I’ll see you around later.”
She closed the door, leaving Pete standing there dumbfounded at the interaction he just had.
Lauren had gotten dressed and was sitting in the make-up chair. She had decided on a short black off the shoulder dress. Even though the shoulders were bare, the dress had long sleeves, making a bit more acceptable in the workplace. The strappy heels that she had on also made it a bit less casual. She already had her hair done. She chose to leave it down since it was only shoulder length, but add some waves to it. Pete had wandered over to the area as Lauren was laughing while the make-up artist applied the dusty pink lipstick. Lauren was deep in conversation with the artist. She got along with everyone. Well, mostly everyone. She was easy to talk to and calming, which was a plus with her job. The interviews always flowed nicely and never seemed forced. She never really had any real problems with anyone she worked with. Pete leaned against a wall off to the side watching her talk. He had his wrestling gear on now, and had his long hair dangling down over half of his face.
"Alright, all set. How's it look?" The make-up artist asked as she held up a mirror.
"It looks great! Thanks Rachel!"
"Awesome. If you need a touch up just let me know."
"I will. Thanks!"
Lauren checked in the mirror one last time, pursing her lips together, before jumping out of the make-up chair and leaving it for someone else. She walked away from the styling area and right passed where Pete was brooding.
"Lauren."
"Hey Pete." Lauren replied as she walked by.
"Hey, hold up."
"What's up?" She asked as she stopped and turned to him.
"You tell me." Pete stated.
"Is this about what I said earlier? I’m sorry for getting involved in your business. And I never would have said anything had we not already been in the middle of a conversation. But I’ve been there, and I didn’t want you to end up pushing your friends away with your bad attitude like I did.” She explained.
"Not that. After. At the locker room." Pete said in a much lower voice.
Lauren smiled and crossed her arms. "What is this? When is Pete Dunne so timid?"
Pete rolled his eyes. "F'get it."
"No I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself." Lauren said reaching out to grab his arm. "I'll be good. What did you want?"
"You to stop being intimidating for a moment would be good."
"I've heard that once or twice before, but not from anyone like you."
"What you said earlier, did you mean it?" Pete asked changing the subject.
"That you need a good lay to forget about her? Absolutely. Your friends seemed to agree."
"No. That you've 'ad fantasies about me." He said as he took a step closer to her.
"Maybe a few times." She answered, surprising him by the serious tone in her voice. He stood there not quite sure how to follow up while Lauren opened the small bag she had with her and looked through it. "Listen, I really have to go and interview Daniel Bryan. But if you want to take my advice, I would love to be the girl that gets under you to get over her. Room 308 if you're interested."
She slipped her spare hotel key into his hand before turning around and continuing to walk down the hallway. Later on that night Pete sat in the back watching the show on a t.v. He was watching Lauren interview his two best friends while he spun the hotel key around in his fingers while being lost in thought. He pulled it together to go out and put on a good show, like he always did. All of his cockiness and aggression was on display. Lauren had been watching his match extra closely that night.
After the show Lauren was sitting alone in her hotel room. She hadn't made any plans for the night in case Pete decided to show up. After about an hour of waiting, she decided to change her clothes and get comfortable. She had the television on and was laying down in the bed, trying to relax, but she found herself not paying attention to it and trying to figure out what reasons Pete could have for not showing up. After driving herself crazy for some time, around 11:30 she realized she was being silly. His good friends whom he hadn't seen in months were in the country for a bit, so he was going to be spending time with them. Plus with all the joking around that she had done with him that day he probably didn't even think she was serious. Or maybe he just wasn’t interested and didn’t know how to tell her in a nice way. Lauren grabbed her phone and laid down on her bed to play some games until she got tired. Only a few minutes after she relaxed herself for the night, there was a knock at her door.
Lauren put her phone down and got out of bed. She walked over to the door curious of who could be there this time of night, especially without texting her first. She looked through the peephole and saw Pete standing on the other side. She quickly opened the door.
"You do realize I gave you a key so you wouldn't have to knock and wait in the hallway, right?"
"I didn't feel right usin' it." Pete told her.
Lauren opened the door wider and stepped aside inviting him in. He stood near her as she closed the door.
"I see you stayed dressed for me." Pete joked as he looked at her in her pink tank top and black yoga pants.
"I could say the same for you." Lauren retorted noticing Pete was in grey sweatpants and a t-shirt.
"It's not m' job to look pretty." Pete stated.
"Good thing I'm off the clock then."
They hadn't really talked much before now, other than just a hello or exchanging pleasantries. Maybe being involved in the same conversation as a group of people. Mostly that was because Pete kept to himself or only really talked with the people he was close to, where as Lauren would talk with everyone and insert herself into others conversations. But Pete definitely took notice today that not many people were able to throw back at him the way that she did, and he liked it.
"So did you just come here to criticize my clothes or…" Lauren trailed off.
"Actually, I wanted to talk." He answered.
"Oh, uh okay."
Lauren definitely hadn't been expecting that. She lead him into the room a little bit more and she sat down on the edge of the bed. Pete took one of the seats that were in the room and placed it in front of her before sitting down as well.
"So?"
"I've been thinking about what ya said. And you're right. If she's gonna bang a bunch of guys and not care, then I should too. Well, ya know."
"So what's the hold up?" Lauren asked.
"I don't want pity sex with someone just because they feel sorry fa' me. Especially if it's someone I 'av to work with."
"I can understand that. I'm not really one for random hook ups either." Lauren agreed.
"But then why did you…"
"I like you Pete." Lauren told him.
"Why? I'm kind of a bastard." Pete asked confused.
Lauren laughed. "Yeah, most of the time. I've watched you. You're grumpy face and your angry promos. But I've also seen the way you joke around with your friends. I've seen how interact with kids. I know how much you care about animals. There's a sweet guy behind that whole bruiserweight thing."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Your best friends. Those goofballs wouldn't waste their time with a complete asshole." Lauren answered with a smile. She reached out and placed her hand over top of his. "I'll be honest. I've had the hots for you since you started coming around. And then when I actually learned things about you I had a crush on you. And seeing you laugh with your friends, I've wondered what it would have been like if we had that kind of relationship."
Pete couldn't help but flash a genuine smile that he usually kept hidden. "Why didn't ya eva say anything?"
"You had a girlfriend, remember?"
"Right. Right. Forgot about that."
"Well that was the plan." Lauren giggled.
"So girls really dig the whole aggressive arse thing huh?" Pete asked amused.
"Oh yeah. There's something wired wrong in our brains. And the accent doesn't hurt either.”
Pete leaned back slightly in his chair and chuckled.
"Did I just make Pete Dunne laugh?" Pete didn't even try to hide it this time after she pointed it out. "Up until now I think I've only made you scowl."
"Yeah yeah, just don't spread it around."
"Don't wanna ruin your unlovable reputation, huh?"
They both sat in awkward silence for a few moments, neither knowing what to say next. Pete fidgeted in his chair slightly before standing up. Lauren promptly stood up along with him. He reached out and pulled her to him so her body was flushed with his, wrapping his arms around her in a bear hug. The act took her by surprise.
"Thanks." He said into her ear.
Lauren put her arms around her torso returning the hug. But her senses perked up. He was still holding her, his head down and his nose grazing her neck. The thought of his mouth that close to her, with his history of biting, sent an electric wave through her nerves. She tried to push those thoughts out of her head and hugged him tighter.
"Anytime Pete." She said lightly.
Pete broke the hug and stepped aside looking down at her smiling. She gave him a half hearted smile. She was glad that she was able to be there for him, and it seemed like there was a friendship forming between them. But she was a little disappointed that it wasn't going further. And embarrassed that she told him how she felt, and now she had to deal with him at work all the time with him knowing that. She didn't say anything as she followed him as he walked to the door.
"I'll see ya around, alright?" Pete said as he put his hand on the doorknob.
Lauren nodded with a smile. She closed the door behind him and leaned it against it sighing. She felt like an idiot. She was just hoping he wouldn't make a big deal about it at work. She began walking back to her bed. When she was a few steps away, she heard the door click. She turned around and saw the knob turning. It pushed open and Pete walked back inside.
"Hey. Everything okay?" She asked confused.
He slammed the door behind him and walked towards Lauren, throwing the room key onto the bed as he passed it. He made it to where she was and placed his bands on her hips and pushed her up against the wall crashing his lips down onto hers. Lauren put her hands up on his shoulders, bracing herself at his actions. He moved his hands from her hips up to her sides all while continuing kissing her neck. He traced along the top of her tank top before grabbing it with both hands and ripping it down the middle. Lauren gasped into his mouth. Pete didn't give her any time to adjust to what he was doing before his hands traveled back down her body and behind her thighs picking her up and pressing her against the wall. He tore his lips away from hers to slowly lick down her chest until stopping at her partially exposed breast. He lightly licked around her nipple a few times before taking it into his mouth. Lauren ran her fingers through Pete's hair, softly moaning. When he lightly bit down she moaned deeper and arched her back off of the wall. Pushing herself even further into him, she became even more aware that her legs were spread around him and she could feel herself getting wetter every time he nibbled.
Pete pulled her away from the wall and carried her over to the bed. Lauren laid on the bed looking up at him trying to catch her breath. He was looking down at her with his signature cocky smirk. He reached out and lightly grabbed the waistband of her pants before yanking them off and crawling on top of her. Pete nuzzled into her neck kiss and biting causing her to arch her hips up and feel the large bulge in his sweatpants. Lauren slid her hands under his shirt and scraped her fingers down his chest bringing a low growl from him.
"You are wearing entirely too many clothes." Lauren informed him.
Pete chuckled, but it wasn't the light hearted one from earlier, there was a deeper tone to it. There was something sexy in that chuckle. He leaned up onto his knees and peeled his shirt off.
Lauren took the moment to just look at him, kneeling in front of her with his hair hanging down partially in his face. Watching his eyes in the light. He could see her eyes glancing up and down his body.
"Is this what ya wanted?" He asked.
"Fuck yes." Lauren answered out loud, instead of in her head like she planned. "But this was supposed to be for you."
"Does it seem like I'm not enjoyin' it?"
"Well yeah, but what is it you want?" Lauren asked.
"Haven't been asked that in a long time. Honestly?" Lauren nodded. "I want someone to want to be with me. Not just use me ta get off and pass out. Someone who enjoys being with me. To feel loved."
Lauren leaned up so she was sitting up in bed facing him. "Really?"
"Yeah. Sounds stupid. I guess when ya with someone for so long those things kind of become lost."
"No Pete, they don't." Lauren said as she placed her hand on his face. "That's what happens when people stop caring."
The words hurt Pete, but deep down he knew she was right.
"Lay down." She told him.
"What?" He asked confused.
"Take your pants off and lay down. Let me take care of you." She said it in such a calming tone, you'd forget they were just dry humping each other.
He complied with what she asked. Lauren removed her underwear and straddled him. He rubbed his hands on her thighs She pulled off what was left of her shirt. Pete unknowingly bit his lower lip upon seeing her naked in front of him.
"Like what ya see?" She asked with a coy smirk
"Damn love."
"You sure you wanna do this?" She asked him.
"Love if you don't get on me right now I'm going to push you down and get back on top of you."
Lauren smiled and moved to slide herself down onto his dick. She gasped as she slid down. She could have guessed the size of it based on what he wore in the ring, but she didn't think it was as thick as it was. Pete hissed as she began riding him.
"Fuck babe. You're so tight." He commented.
"Yeah, it's been a while." She replied as she rolled her hips.
"You're so wet." He stated.
"I told you, I like you. Now are you gonna do commentary the whole time or just enjoy it?"
"Oh I'm enjoying it love." Pete said as his hands slid up her legs. He groaned as he saw her bouncing on him, her breasts bouncing along with her. He ran his hand along her body and brushed his finger onto her clit causing her to yelp. He liked the sound that she made and continued to rub along her clit as she rode him.
"Fuck Pete if you keep that up I'm not gonna last long." She warned him.
"You keep makin' those sounds I won't eithea."
Lauren pushed his hand out of the way and brought her upper body down so she could kiss him before moving to his neck. She began kissing and sucking on his neck like he had been doing to her earlier. Pete reached around with both hands to grab her ass. She was moving at a slow and steady pace, keeping with his grunts of pleasure. She would bite down on his neck every once in a while hoping to catch him off guard. He would squeeze his grip tighter pushing her at a different pace causing her to moan.
"Wait, Lauren stop." Pete said suddenly.
Lauren stopped and sat up. "What's wrong?"
"I wanna be on top." He told her.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
Lauren wanted to stay on top and take care of him, but it's what he said he wanted to she switched positions with him. She had to admit having Pete in between her legs staring her down was something she had thought about several times. He began placing kisses down her collar bone as she ran her fingers through his hair again.
"Mmmm Pete, please." Lauren begged bringing a smile to his lips.
"Please what?" Pete asked as he ran his length along her entrance, teasing her.
"I know I'm being selfish at the moment but please, I need you." She moaned as she tried to push herself closer to him.
"Baby, I love hearing you beg." He said as he entered her starting slow at first.
"Pete, faster please."
Pete grunted before speeding up, loving the feeling of her needing him, He began to thrust harder as he sped up. Lauren wrapped his leg up around his waist to give him better access.
"Oh God Pete, I'm so close." Lauren said as she scratched her nails down his back.
"Let go for me love." He rasped into her ear.
Lauren grabbed onto Pete's face to pull him into a passionate kiss as she came. Pete finished shortly after her before collapsing next to her. Their session was relatively quick, but emotional and intense. They laid next to each other trying to catch their breath.
"Well, that was unexpected." Pete stated.
"Yeah, definitely didn't think that was gonna happen when I woke up this morning." Lauren agreed as she laid next to him.
"I'm sorry it wasn't really what ya wanted." Pete apologize.
"What do you mean?"
"Ya said you wanted aggressive, and ripping clothes off, and all that."
Lauren leaned up on her elbow and turned to face him. "That's one of the things I've thought about, but I really just wanted you Pete."
He responded by lightly placing his hand on her head and pulling it down to rest on his chest. Lauren laid there cuddling on Pete, which is something she never would have expected from him, and soon found herself falling asleep.
Around three in the morning Lauren jerked awake. She didn't mean to fall asleep. She didn't even realize she was that worn out. Or maybe just comfortable. The room was now all dark, Pete must have turned the lights out. She couldn't see anything but she felt over to the other side of the bed and it was empty. Of course it was. He came for what she said she'd give him and then left. He wasn't looking for anything beyond that. Lauren knew that when she offered him to come to her too, but she didn't think it would hurt that much when he was gone. She laid back down in her beg and pulled the covers up feeling pretty stupid. Just then she heard the toilet in her bathroom flush and the door open. Pete walked out of the bathroom and back over to the bed.
"Pete?" Lauren asked.
"Hm." He replied.
"I thought you left."
"Why tha hell would I do that?" He asked as he pulled up the covers and got back into bed next to her.
"You were gone. I thought you got what you wanted and left. Especially after I fell asleep on you."
"I believe you're tha one that wanted this love." He reminded her. "You’re the one that offered."
"Well, yeah…"
Pete wrapped his arm around her waist and held her hand, lacing his fingers in with hers. He nuzzled his nose into the back of her neck.
"I'm pretty glad you did though." He admitted. This was the most love he had felt in a long time. He really felt like the person he was with wanted him, needed him. That she was focused on him, and it made him want to be focused on her. He felt an actual connection, which is something that he had been missing.
"I'm not goin anywhere for awhile love." He said as he squeezed her into hug, pulling her body to his. "I loved those sounds I heard earlier. They drove me crazy. I look forward ta havin' ya make more."
Lauren giggled as Pete kissed the back of her neck. Neither knew what the future would hold, but right now they were both enjoying the moment.
#pete dunne#pete dunne one shot#pete dunne fanfic#pete dunne imagine#wwe fanfic#wwe fanfiction#mustache mountain
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Lighten up
Here’s my fic for the @mlsecretsanta! So happy I joined in this year too, it’s one of my favorite events!! 😍 Hi @xlexicx! ❤ I’m your secret santa! Here’s my present for you, I hope you like it! Merry Christmas!! 😊😊
Summary: Take the high road, do not intervene. That was what Adrien said, to his friend and to himself. Then again, Chat Noir said none of that. And he really didn't like seeing Marinette sad.
Also on AO3
How to make the worst Christmas Eve, by Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
Ingredients.
Seven days filled with plenty of akuma attacks, as fresh as possible, dripping with exhaustion. A couple of extremely busy hours to finish the dress to bring to the party, whipped consistently with stress and pressure considering all the important figures that were going to see it. And a big handful of disappointment, because while trying her best to ignore how out of place she was feeling during such an event – at least without wearing her special pois suit –, Marinette had almost forgotten the golden boy to add to the situation, or to be precise it was Adrien himself that hadn’t been able to come. Because that was what gave this terrible night its distinct disappointing taste.
“I can tell you all about him, he’s even more charming when he’s not into his suit!” A whistle in his ear. Lila was marching in the middle of the ballroom, waving around her black dress, the feathers on the hair pin over her head, and her long innocent eyelashes, followed by some of Marinette’s most precious friends. “He said he got in like a breeze even without getting recognized, I guess this party could only be that exclusive since even Marinette could get the tickets! Oh, but I’m still grateful!” She waved at her, grinning widely.
Right, she forgot one important part of this disgraceful recipe, an extremely generous sprinkle of lies all over. Better of hypocritical origins. She clenched her hand around her glass, the drink raised up a little. She was starting to wish he got the Cat Miraculous.
Just for the sake of a good old Cataclysm.
Marinette forced her grimace into a smile, for the sake of Alya, Rose, Nino and Juleka all orbiting around the star of the night. Yeah, of course she was. Even though it was the stylist who got the tickets from Jagged as a little Christmas present, it was all about that liar once again. She didn’t even know why she was surprised anymore.
“You’re welcome…” More unique was, the latest idea the brunette had come up with to grab attention. And that one was even more out of the line than her usual.
“You guys, I’m really thirsty, and I saw Chat pretty tired too. I’m gonna take a little break, have something to drink.” Lila snapped at her friends one of those insanely studied, absurdly accurate, innocent smiles. “I would never want my date to get tired, especially since he’s a superhero in disguise! Oh, sorry, I raised my voice but remember that this stays between us, right?” She did her bat of eyelashes, she did her little wave of her hair that was meant to be annoying only to those who knew her – ergo, only this everyday Ladybug at the moment –, and leaving her excited friends behind she headed straight towards the drink station.
Right where Marinette was. Oh no, not another war declaration. When she had decided to come to this party despite knowing her sixth ticket would had gone to her, she had promised herself not to cause an argument and to stay as far away as possibly from her. Something that Lila had deliberately decided to ignore considering how she was pondering on what to drink while giving her the smuggest look, like she had just discovered Hawk Moth’s identity and wanted her to beg for it.
Hawk Moth had to be busy today. With all the evil intentions that the stylist was feeling right now, she could had become three different akumas. Then, her phone vibrated from her purse. She read the name, and all darkness dissipated immediately. Her heart was melting way before reading.
“Getting to my rescue, my prince?” She whispered, checking the new notifications.
Adrien had sent her Nino’s video first, that alone brought a smile to her face. The DJ had been absolutely adamant that he made at least a little film about the party, to show the blonde that they were all hoping he was going to recover soon. For once that he would had been allowed to attempt to an event that had happened to include a few friends of his, he had to faint a day after the end of school for Christmas break. Exhaustion. If it hadn’t made so much sense she would had been so much angrier. And she was fuming. She was mad, and furious, and sad, and all of the sudden Christmas felt so unfair. Like after being unfairly negated so many things in life, Adrien had to be stopped by a cold.
More messages followed.
Adrien: I’m glad everyone’s having fun.
Adrien: I hope the night gets better for you, you look tense.
Adrien: See you soon :)
Of course, she had made quite a face, since Lila had started to talk about her supposed relationship with her partner. Also of course, complete goo heart. Along with a deep sadness.
An angel. Even now, while forced under the cover of his bed – with those lovely cheeks all red and lucid gorgeous eyes and perfect lips and dang Mari stop it –, like he hadn’t been stuck into his own room enough to last him for a lifetime, even now he had taken the time to worry about her. He was worried about her. What a wonderful, sweet, caring, so lovable, unbelievably kind-
“Well hello Marinette, grabbing something to drink too?” Awful, hypocritical, incredibly annoying liar that had dared to interrupt her mental praises towards her beloved Adrien. Lila put herself right next, grabbing a glass herself, wearing that smirk on top of her lips. “I am too, I’m so tired, you have no idea! I didn’t know admitting my relationship with Chat Noir was going to cause all of this fuss! I guess these people really drink whatever you tell them…” It had to bring some kind of relief to her, not having to lie to Marinette since she was perfectly aware how little integrity the brunette had in her. Then again, who knew if even this manipulative face wasn’t another lie. If it turned out under all those veils there was absolutely nothing underneath, the stylist would had believed it.
She knew engaging her was a bad idea. Take the high road, like Adrien said.
But then she noticed a little necklace hanging over the black dress. With a round bell on it. And it was enough. She put the glass down to not crush it out of frustration.
“What do you want to get out of this?”
“I’m so glad you asked, you know what feels even better than seeing you hopelessly trying to prove to everyone that I’m wrong?” Yep, good call on the glass. “Thinking of that pathetic pois superhero discovering on the Ladyblog, because let’s be real Alya can’t keep her big mouth shut even for a second, that her beloved partner is going out with the girl she hates so much.” Lila hummed with satisfaction, sipping her drink, sighing delightfully. “Two birds with one stone, bella! She won’t be able to prove it wrong either, because the stupid doesn’t even know Chat Noir’s real identity!”
Marinette had always thought that her normal life and her superhero life were separated by one giant wall in between. Then this girl had come along, managing to get all the hate from the both of sides, making her feel like double herself, and double the need for vengeance.
She tightened her fists, glaring at her.
“This is dangerous, Lila! Their identities are important, their lives are! It’s one thing messing with me or our classmates, but they’re the heroes that save us every day!”
“So glad to hear your opinion, the one I don’t care about. Well then, I think I’ll go meet with my date, Chat Noir.” Lila giggled, pointing at a random guy. “Could it be him? Or maybe him? I’m the only one who knows, after all!” She laughed, Marinette grunted. “Maybe him? How about him?”
Not her kitty. Not her partner. Not her l-
“I might have a good guess.” One cheerful, sassy, unmistakable voice erupted between them. “But please keep going, don’t let me stop you. After all, when the cat’s away, the mice will play!” Chat Noir winked at Marinette, most likely hinting at that short time of her as Multimouse. Which would had been very annoying yet kinda witty, if she hadn’t been this shocked to see him.
To see him… like this.
The mask was there as usual, the ruffled hair and the pulsing eyes too. But that wasn’t his usual costume, at least not completely. He was rocking a full black suit tailored like it had been made just for him, yet the gentle shine over the cloth and the clawed gloves still present gave it away that it was still part of his normal superhero attire. He had a bright green tie with a minuscule fantasy that looked like many tiny Cataclysms one next to each other, and his usual reinforced shoes looked less rough and more refined.
He looked good. Something about Chat Noir’s confident attitude and that certain egomaniac tendency gave it away how in a proper suit he would had looked pretty great, but this was real. This was actually happening, and Marinette found herself catching her breath.
Luckily – for once in her life and only this once –, Lila was there as well.
“Chat Noir?!?” Oh, that horrified, overwhelmed face made the stylist’s night. That perfect satisfied face cracked violently, and she was frozen on the spot.
“Oh my, it is him!!” Unluckily, for once for Lila, Alya had a special filter in her ear for scoops and even from the other side of the room she managed to hear – also the brunette had erupted into a pretty impressive and delightfully scared squeak. “You actually showed up in your costume, what happened to the secrecy? Don’t worry, I know about yours and Lila’s situation, and I promise it’s between very close friends!” She had the recorder out already, pointed out like a weapon, looking oh so hopeful.
Chat Noir grinned, flashing a wink at the phone Nino was holding up to record the scene.
“You know I’m always up for a special interview for the Ladyblog, Alya.” The holder of the fox Miraculous brightened. “But I’m gonna need a heads up, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.” And just as fast the glimmer died down, turning into a frown. She put a hand over her hip, her peach-colored dress wrapped tight around her torso.
“Come on, do you really have to make it difficult? I don’t actually know your identity, although I did have a look around knowing you were somewhere.” A snort.
“Yeah I was somewhere, somewhere else. You do realize I just arrived, right?”
“Of coooouuurse, you just arriiiiived.” Alya winked at him. The cat superhero stared at her blankly, taking his time to fill a glass and empty it pretty quickly. He did look pretty tired now, like he did quite the run. “… you were here as a civilian, right? You even sent those little notes to Lila, saying how beautiful she was and all the rest!” The journalist held the recorder with one hand and picked up something from her pocket. A little green note saying ‘love the feathers, you look like a queen. CN.’. And wow, Marinette could at least compliment how shameless the brunette had been.
Chat Noir peaked over it, frowning.
“… Alya I signed stuff for you, you know that’s not my handwriting.” The journalist hummed uncertainly, like she did have that thought. “Besides, as I said, I wasn’t here. I arrived now.”
“Oh you don’t have to lie Chat Noir!” At last Lila came back from whatever world she had been stuck on, pulling off that obnoxiously wide smile right towards her kitty, huh, this kitt- the kitty! “But I understand that you’re not ready, so don’t make too much of it, forget about it and enjoy the night!” Of course she couldn’t give up, it was never that easy with her.
The cat superhero simply smirked, filling his glass again.
“Thank you Lila, a very warm welcome. How about you give the same to Officer Roger and Mr. Ramier over there?” Next to the mayor, chatting happily, where the two named that had in fact appeared only in that moment. Sabrina was greeting her father with a big hug. “We had a pretty tough moment back there, they got into another argument over pigeons and laws, luckily we managed to arrive to a compromise before things escalated. Bet Hawk Moth bite his Miraculous over this one!” He snickered, emptying another cup with a satisfied sigh.
Trying to solve a conflict through words and a plan instead of destroying everything, that sounded like the Ladybug way. And there he was, her – the – kitty, looking all happy about it like he was thinking of her proud owner petting his head.
A smile came on its own, Marinette couldn’t help it, and maybe didn’t want to.
“Great job, Chat Noir.” The superhero beamed at her. Adrien’s eyes were pure and breathtaking, but the unnatural beauty of these was impressive too. So very pretty.
Alya looked like she had half the forehead from how hard she was frowning.
“But Lila said you’ve talked all night together…”
“We did! He’s just covering it up!!” Lila’s voice raised of one octave at least, judging from how hard Chat Noir had winced being right next to her. The brunette smiled at him, batting her deer-like eyelashes. “Chat, I know what’s going on, you still feel like you own something to Ladybug. But you got hurt so much by her already, and this is not fair! Don’t you think you deserve better?” She scooted closer, raising a hand over him. “Come here, come to someone that can give you what you want.” Okay was Marinette really the only one who thought this was getting weird?
Apparently not, from how promptly the cat superhero had dodged the touch. He was suddenly extremely tense, a very wary smile on his face, hands raised like he was surrendering. Somehow his usual goofiness looked almost charming today…
Or that was the suit. Yeah, definitely the suit.
“Now there, I know I’m irresistible, but I really don’t think you should get any closer.”
“Why would you get away? Do you hate me? Prove me you don’t and get over here!” Lila tried to grab him again, but it was too easy for him. “Ladybug doesn’t even love you, why all this fuss??”
“Lila, I’m telling you, it’s better for you to stay awa-”
“I said get back here!!”
“Nope, no way!”
What a weird scene, an angry fox chasing a cat in the middle of the ballroom of the most luxurious hotel of Paris, surrounded by guests now very aware of the commotion happening. Their friends, guests, celebrities, even the mayor was starting to get worried. Marinette spotted Rose and Juleka, with the former all saddened by the fight between two people that she knew and probably wanted to get along – predictable –, and Luka along with Chloe and Kagami, with the rich girl absolutely living through this – predictable and relatable.
As a fairly common scene, Chat managed at the end to step on his own tail and struggle to stay up, right as Lila finally managed to land onto his chest with a grin.
“See everyone? It was simply a little fight between sweethearts, nothing to-”
Marinette could confidently say that, in her life, she had witnessed plenty of extremely satisfying moments. Saving her city every day along with her trusty partner while helping the people she loved? Awesome. Stepping up as her own person thanks to the confidence given from being Ladybug and getting to leave a mark into her life? Incredible. Spending occasional but so precious time with the love of her life knowing that with every single moment spent together, the chance of becoming something more became at least somehow possible? Priceless.
But this one, this very specific moment when Chat Noir scowled visibly and then sneezed, loudly and very grossly, right into Lila’s face, this one could take the cake. She had never seen such a perfect sequence of moments happening in her life.
The brunette screamed, panting in pure shock, as the hero wiped his nose.
“I tried to warn you, achoo!” He took two steps back, waving his hand at her. “I’m super allergic to feathers, and you’re wearing a hair pin full of it! I couldn’t stay near you if I wanted to!” It had some weird effect, this suited up Chat sniffing with his head up in desperate search for a tissue. Both extremely him and endearing, to the point Marinette cracked a laugh when the research was fruitful and the superhero blew loudly into a paper towel.
With the white feathers on her head, the nasty green of her eyes and the absolute flushed face of her, Lila looked one with the flag of her country. For a second. One extremely Italian second.
Then, of course, the waterfalls arrived.
“That was so mean of you, you should’ve at least warned me!” Chat Noir’s simple retort was a large grimace that said ‘I tried to’ quite clearly, but the brunette was into her part now. “I thought you were kind and special, but you’re just a jerk! You wanna make me look bad! I should’ve known! Right Alya?” She turned around to get her friend’s support.
Only to meet with something that for luck of fate, when she had first transferred in their school, Lila Rossi hadn’t managed to encounter: Alya Cesaire’s inquisitory glare.
“Wait a second.” She lowered her recorder without switching it off, stepping forward with one foot. “If he’s allergic there’s no way he talked to you or even got close to you tonight! All along you told me you were chatting with him… Lila… were you lying?”
Marinette could hardly believe it. She stared, agape, but never as much as the actual liar.
“I wasn’t! Of course not, he’s making that up to make me look bad! I don’t know why he’s pulling up all of this act, he’s probably getting manipulated by Ladybug to make me look bad! And here I thought she was a friend! Besides, I bet he’s pretending the allergy!”
“Excuse me, miss.” Completely out of nowhere none other than Mr. Ramier appeared, along with Roger and Sabrina, with the latter immediately running towards Chloe – with eyes sparkling like stars at the sight of her best friend’s two chaperones. “But if I may interject, there’s no way Chat Noir is lying about his allergy. I would know, since I get akumatized quite often and he’s forced to endure my pidgeons all the time. Very sorry about it by the way.” The gentleman looked at the cat hero, who got another tissue kindly offered by Rose and simply waved his hand like it was not a big deal. Which was fair, Mr. Pidgeon wasn’t nearly the most menacing threat ever – a bit of routine in the mess that was their lives was actually nice sometimes.
That same sweet blonde and helpful girl with the pink dress gasped all of the sudden, tears shining in her eyes. Actual, genuine drops, unlike someone else’s.
“You said the feathers were artificial, that your grandma was running a charity association that wanted to erase everything made by animals in the fashion world!!” Her lip covered in peach gloss quivered vividly. “I can’t believe you would lie about that, Marinette was right!” She turned to the stylist, who couldn’t believe this was actually happening. “I’m so sorry Marinette, I should’ve known!” Juleka from behind her nodded, looking sorry.
Lila gasped, again in her overly dramatic way, shaking her head.
“How could you say that? You know I would never lie, you know me! I… I…” Marinette should had seen it coming, as soon as those vengeful eyes got stuck on her. “It’s all Marinette’s fault!” Crocodile tears once again, the stylist didn’t even have it in her to be annoyed. “She wants to make me look bad, she did ever since I came here! I don’t know why she hates me so much!” There was such a long list into her diary, but the stylist felt like it wasn’t necessary. Her friends looked doubtful. Like they were on her side again. “And you’re trying to make me feel bad, I could get akumatized! How could you?”
“You do realize I’m right here, right?” Chat Noir grinned at her, getting closer to Marinette. “I could easily take care of you while Ladybug gets here, no problem. So go along, get crazy.” Wow, Ladybug would had not approved that. Good thing she wasn’t here.
“Did Marinette drag you into this?? She is the worst!!”
“No way, Marinette’s the best! She made these awesome shades of mine!” Out of nowhere Jagged Stone interjected, cocking a wink to her favorite designer who couldn’t help the little giggle – the frequency he showed those glasses reminded her of her dad whenever she accomplished anything. “Girl the way you’re talking to her is totally not rock and roll, who do you think you are??” The Rockstar glared. And so did Fang behind him, showing all of his teeth.
All colors drained from Lila’s face, as she pointed at the rockstar.
“What- Why- He isn’t supposed to…!”
“Oh yeah, didn’t I tell you?” Chat Noir seemed to be trying his best to contain his smug aura. “Another reason I got here this late, I thought of inviting Jagged and prince Ali! Isn’t it great? They’re usually super busy and not really into random celebrations, but it turns out they’re more than happy to participate knowing one of their heroes is here. What do you know?”
Lila was at loss, going with startled eyes from the celebrity in front of her, to the royalty not too far, to the people staring judgily at her. She opened her mouth to speak, try more covers, but Alya’s lips smack interrupt her. The journalist looked like she finally had enough, turning to Jagged.
“A question. You don’t know Lila, do you?”
“This girl? Definitely not.”
“So you never wrote her a song because she saved your cat?”
“Pff, a cat? I’m allergic to cats, and I hate them, they’re so unfriendly! Well, most of them, Chat Noir is pretty cool.” Another wink was thrown at the superhero, who cocked finger guns at the superstar. It looked oddly appropriate between these two.
Alya grabbed her head between her hands, groaning loudly.
“I can’t believe it, I… I’m so stupid. Marinette.” Her eyes were so gloomy, so different from her usual self. It made them trustworthy, despite everything. “I’m so sorry, I should’ve believed you right away. I promise I’ll make up for all I did. In the meantime…” With a quick gesture, as quick as Rena Rouge would had done it, Alya grabbed Lila’s arm and dragged her forward. “We’re gonna make sure you don’t know prince Ali too, and find out where in the world where you during your vacation since, you know, it looks like you missed school without a reason! And all of my interviews on the Ladyblog, ooooh, you’re in big trouble girl!!”
“No!! Let me go!! Marinette’s lying!!” The image of the perfect girl crumbled right away, as Lila started to pull such a tantrum that Manon would had felt embarrassed for her. “It’s all Ladybug’s fault! Or Marinette’s! Or both!! And Chat Noir’s!! It’s their fault, not mine, they’re the liars! I’m not a liar! I’M NOT A LIAR!!” And like that she was dragged away without mercy, like a criminal finally getting brought to justice.
People followed the scene, Rose and Juleka still looking sorry, Nino as well while making sure his girlfriend wasn’t going to straight up murder Lila. And Marinette stayed where she was, looking at them as the prince turned around, and another tantrum was born from the exposed liar.
After five full seconds of silence, Chat Noir blew his nose into the tissue once again, so loudly nearby guests gave him weirded out looks.
But not Marinette, no. She burst into laughter.
“Oh my gosh, it actually happened! Karma happened! A Christmas miracle!” She had to wipe a tear, more relieved than happy in reality. “If this is a dream please don’t wake me up, I wanna live in this world forever!” And in that precise moment the music changed, a slow rhythm that made her smile incredulously. “Wow, really? This night everything is meant to go just right, huh.” She giggled again, pushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. She turned towards the hero, her actual hero, finding him staring at her. The mask covered most of his face, but was that a blush?
“… then it would be a pity going against the flow, right?” Chat Noir smirked, bowing in front of her and extending a gloved hand. “May I have this dance?”
Marinette gaped at him.
“Me?”
“This superhero has every intention to dance with the prettiest girl of the night, yeah.” Curse this flirtatious little kitty, looking like he had everything under control after pulling such a stunt against that liar. Curse herself for letting it work, as she was led in the middle of the dance floor.
The lights got softer, the song too. Even with the confrontation happening not that far in the room, Marinette found it extremely easy to simply live in this moment. Especially given that her – the… alright her – kitty turned out to be quite the dancer, pulling her along gently, a hand over her hip and the other clenched around her hand. It felt like her goofy partner was miles away from this elegant person, but at the same time something told her that this made sense. For some reason him being so kind and sophisticated made her feel like it was perfectly normal.
Marinette smiled softly, moving slowly. Savoring this instant.
“I didn’t think it was going to end up like this.” Chat Noir hummed questioning. “Dancing with a superhero after the defeat of a villain without akuma, that’s something.”
“You got pretty lucky, huh? Especially on the first part.” And there he was, ruining the mood, pulling her along as he laughed. Maybe a little too much? “… oh! Sorry!” He straightened up, snickering nervously. Looking dizzy. “I’m a little out of it tonight.”
The stylist frowned in worry.
“If you weren’t feeling good you shouldn’t have come.”
“Bet Ladybug would tell me something similar, along with the scolding of my life for getting involved into civilian stuff.” She was pondering about it. Mm, maybe she could let this one go. “I understand it, I do, and I usually would’ve been on my own without interacting with anyone, but I couldn’t keep it shut anymore… not after seeing how sad you looked.” And suddenly his eyes were serious, focused. Like there was actually a guy underneath all the jokes.
It was supposed to be a shock. It felt more like a surprise to her. A little push in an unknown right direction, unexpected yet somehow helpful.
“You did it for me?”
“I think Lila getting busted helps everyone, but yes, mostly for you.” Again with the red on his cheeks, this time it was undeniable. “I thought I could let it go, but I saw how it got on your nerves, and after a while it got on my nerves because it got on your nerves, and I guess I couldn’t get my paws out of this one huh? I thought that fox needed a little less- Oh.” Huh, apparently this kitty did have an off button. And Marinette actually grinned while holding him, her cheek over his solid chest, hands around his neck. Feeling comfortable, happy.
… familiarly happy? She frowned a little.
“How did you know I wasn’t okay? You said you just arrived.” She could feel him swallow from this close, after finally putting his hands over her back. And again that warm lightning shocked her over the skin, a pinch in the middle of her brain. Like this was a dream that had happened before.
Chat Noir snorted softly.
“Let’s say a friend told me.”
“Let’s say I don’t believe you.”
“I would never lie to you. I… I really don’t want you to be sad, ever. You’re so amazing, you deserve all the happiness you can get.” And with that he let himself go with the movement, less shy, more him as he led her through the dance.
The music was lovely, Chat was lovely, and one by one other people were joining the dance floor like they were all part of the same fairy tale. She could spot Juleka and Rose holding each other, Kagami pulling forward the arm of a very flushed Chloe with a giggling Luka following behind, Alya clearly satisfied of the dealt situation with Lila dragging her boyfriend in, who looked way too into it to say anything, putting quickly his phone in his pocket.
His phone… the video… everything.
Marinette gasped, her mind finally unlocking that everything.
The film of the party that only one person had managed to see besides the DJ. The same allergy to feathers. The same golden hair, the same gorgeous green eyes. The confidence in his ways, the poor health of tonight – he was here while he should had been recovering, this dumb reckless kitty, she so wanted to slap him and smooch him. And this emotion, this undeniable feeling of belonging that came whenever she was between his arms, dancing like they had at Chloe’s party when he had made all of her dreams coming true with one single moment.
It was so obvious. The more she thought about it, the more she felt stupid and unbelieving and so, so incredibly happy. So much it was making her tear up, so much it was burning her heart violently. So much she wanted to scream it, tell all of Paris, tell the entire the world that it was happening.
“It’s you.” It came with a whisper, without her realizing.
“Mhm? You’re kinda shivering.” She untangled herself from him, missing the warmth, melting into his big, confused eyes. “Are you okay?”
There really was no one else.
“… could you come to my house tomorrow night?” Marinette tried her best to hold her voice together, tightening her hands onto him. She could see his smile. She could see him, under the mask or with it. “I’ll have a Christmas present for you. As a thank you gift.” And just like every time with every single akuma she had met, a specific plan formed into her head, with Chat Noir by her side.
Only this time, it was a complete solo mission. The most important one.
***
How to make the best Christmas night, by Adrien Agreste.
Ingredients.
Seven days filled with plenty of akuma attacks, as fresh as possible, dripping with exhaustion. One or two – two – very generous pinches of scolding from father because of ineptitude at being absolutely flawless. And kwami, possibly cat kwami, fallen asleep on his pillow with his cheesy smelly breath directed towards him all night. Let it all fall onto the ground because of exhaustion, making him miss the Christmas Eve party where he was supposed to meet with his friends and have a great night – black cat, bad luck, har har.
Then… pick up the bowl and start over. Add an abundant thirst of revenge after watching one blue-haired girl all gloomy – and pretty, that dress wow, she really was unbelievably talented –, a fulfilled vendetta that hopefully wasn’t going to generate more troubling problems than the major one that got solved, and an invitation from said blue-haired girl for Christmas.
An actual, proper Christmas.
Chat Noir grinned widely, jumping right into the freezing air, way less fatigued than yesterday. He slept all day, regaining the strength, getting constant smug eyes from Plagg for some reasons. His father had even checked on him, maybe even sad that this year they hadn’t had Christmas at all. So he brought dinner to his bed, and they had it together. It had been somehow unsettling and nice at the same time. Last Christmas, his escape had caused a major problem, yet the solution to everything. Adrien really hoped it was going to be the same, especially for his feelings.
He stopped over a building. He could see the Dupain-Cheng’s bakery from there, and a sudden surge of worry caught him off guard. What was he expecting from this? Marinette was incredible, being invited felt like an honor alone. Was that why he was out of breath? What else was coming? His heart was for Ladybug, then why did it not doubt about helping Marinette?
A breeze caught his right under his neck, making him shiver. Ah, he was here in any case. And he was pretty sure his social skills still weren’t developed enough to let him come to a conclusion.
He jumped over the railing and landed on the small terrace at the top of the bakery, feeling his entire being immediately burst into amazement: it was beautifully decorated with Christmas lights and plants, little Christmas balls, stars, bows and little angels all over. A little table was settled with two chairs, with plenty of sweet goodness like bonbon, macarons, brownies and one wonderful Bouche de Noel. It had stopped snowing this morning, so the night was as clear as ever, shining of stars and wonder.
This was too much. It was so much that Adrien felt himself coming out of the costume in form of little tears, that Chat Noir quickly rubbed away. He faced a bully for a girl the other night, and now he was getting emotional because this precious little corner felt so comfortable he wasn’t used to it? He had to pull himself together before-
The door of the terrace opened. He took a deep breath. Play it cool, thank her, enjoy the moment. So he turned towards the sound with the widest smile Chat Noir had.
“I have to admit, this is pretty paw-some, Mari-” His voice got stuck into his throat.
This was a dream. This was the most vivid and lifelike dream he had ever had. Ladybug was stepping up from the door, eyes glimmering under the mask, wearing a majestic red dress covered in black dots. Long black gloves covered her elegant arms, her blue hair fell gracefully over her shoulders, and her pink lips were curved in the sweetest smile possible. With her flushed cheeks and the lights framing her figure, she looked like a queen.
And she stepped forward, her highness, looking pleased and even endeared by the kitty’s reaction, that still couldn’t move a single muscle.
“I’m glad you like it, I know you have a bit of a sweet tooth. And you seemed to really dig dad’s vol-au-vent that time we had Sunday brunch, so I asked him to make some. Without telling him why of course.” Dad…? Before…? “Ah, but you’re here for this, aren’t you?” Hadn’t he been completely out of himself from the daze of this apparition, maybe he would had noticed the little box into her soft hands. It was covered in a green wrapping paper, with a black bow on it.
Chat Noir blinked. Adrien blinked, because his brain was returning to him incredibly slowly but he could still hear the echo of what was happening. And he didn’t know if he was going to be able to take it. So without looking at it he grabbed the present, lips shivering.
“L… Ladybug?” And she dared to blush, like she didn’t look breathtaking already.
“J-just open it, okay?” And she dared to ask him to do something, alluring to the possibility to move or think or act – honestly it was asking a little too much from his little feline brain.
Nonetheless, after what felt like an eternity, Chat managed to trace the wrapping of the present with his claw, gently cutting the paper in the process. He grabbed an edge and discovered another box, black with a red cover. It was already perfect. But shivers caught him as he was pulling up the top, because Ladybug looking at him so intensely, so incredibly involved with him, that every movement felt meaningful. And when he finally peaked inside, his poor heart thought it was going to stop right there, just for the sake of passing away this happy.
A green branch, tender leaves, and white berries. A little mistletoe plush was waiting for him inside the box, soft looking and well made, like only one person he knew could had done with such care and dedication. So there was no stopping the gears inside his head anymore, not when everything was making this much sense all of the sudden, not while Ladybug was stepping close, putting her hands on his over the box.
Those hardworking hands, those hair as dark as night, those pretty bluebell eyes – blindness, thy name Adrien Agreste – that desire to get her closer and more comfortable with him. That feeling of ease that he thought was only meant for the closest of friends.
Ladybug smiled. Marinette smiled.
“Tikki, spots off.” In the cold night of Christmas, a red glimmering light manifested over the girl of his dreams, revealing the one he had been looking for all along. And through her lucid eyes, her goofy smile, her flushed cheeks, he could still see all of her. Because this was her. Beautifully her. “I-I thought this was the best present I could give you, after what you did yesterday and always did for me.” She laughed when Tikki flew over the present and picked it up, right over their heads. He loved that kwami. “I hope it’s good enough…?”
Her eyes fell, the slightest fear shaking the hands that were still covering his.
And Adrien felt appalled, so outraged, looking at her straight into her beautiful eyes, smiling so much he probably looked silly. But she didn’t seem to care.
“Plagg, claws in.” She knew, he didn’t know how, but she knew. Perhaps he was going to ask later. Right now, while Plagg reappeared and gave his fellow kwami a hand, still showcasing that same irritating smirk, all Adrien wanted was to take this miracle and hold on to it as long as he could. “It’s the best present of my entire life.” He let the box fall, gently grabbing her hands.
She laughed, and all of Paris felt envious of such beauty.
“Silly cat.” Marinette beamed at him. She then leaned forward, shy, glowing. And Adrien did the same, meeting her in the middle, finally kissing the girl of his dreams, feeling the glimmering joy inside of his heart outshining every single light of Christmas.
#mlb secret Santa#miraculous ladybug#marichat#adrienette#ml fanfic#fanfiction#fic#adrien agreste#marinette dupain cheng#lila rossi
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Boss Lady
Hey guys, I hope you had an amazing Christmas!
This story was inspired by a post I saw a couple of months ago on a subreddit called MaliciousCompliance. I immediately thought that this is something that Hiccup and Astrid would totally do and just hoped I would be inspired to write it at some point. Well, today is that day, so enjoy!!
Summary:
MODERN AU
Her boss’s insistence on changing her dress code leaves her in a fit of rage. Good thing that she has an amazing boyfriend to help her maliciously comply to his stupid requirements.
***
‘I’m sorry, what?’
‘I’m just saying that it would be more appropriate if you dressed more like a professional.’
Astrid was internally fuming, but she tried to keep her cool in his office.
‘And what do you mean by ‘professional’ exactly?’ The young woman asked, her teeth grinding.
‘You know, dresses, heels, skirts.’ Her boss replied nonchalantly.
‘With all due respect, why am I the only one you approached with this request?’ If murder was legal, she would have skinned him alive a long time ago.
‘Because they’re not my assistant.’
***
Hiccup was preparing dinner when he heard the door slam brutally. He turned the heat off and placed the pan on a cool surface. His girlfriend, in a fit of rage, was struggling to untie her shoelaces as he walked into the living room.
‘Bad day at work?’ Astrid just grumbled. ‘Who was it this time, Thuggory? Lars?’
‘My obnoxious boss.’
‘Ah.. Should’ve guessed it. Why did he call you in his office this time? Your shoulders were distracting him? Did you show your ankles again?’ Her boyfriend dramatically gasped.
Astrid worked in a small company where the employees were not required to dress professionally since they’re not facing any customers. There’s still the A/C turned on full blast, so it wasn’t like Astrid was showing a lot of skin to begin with, not that it mattered. But her dirty old boss thought it would be appropriate to point out her attire on an almost daily basis. She quickly got tired of it and decided to have part of her closet dedicated to unflattering clothes so she could avoid being grossly objectified by her superior. Today, however, he crossed a line.
‘That pig decided that I should be wearing ‘corporate clothing since I’m his assistant’ while the others are free to wear jeans and t-shirts.’ Astrid fumed as she violently threw her bag on the sofa and stomped toward the bathroom to take shower. Not having the time to reply, Hiccup simply walked back to the kitchen to finish the cooking.
When Astrid came back, she seemed to have cooled off a bit. They sat at the table as they ate their dinner.
‘You know my dad would hire you if I asked him. You’re smart, focused and hardworking. He would love to have you as an employee. And he loves you. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even his son seeing how much he dotes on you.’ Hiccup laughs. A small smile formed on his girlfriend’s face. ‘You know he loves you to death. I’m not the one that’s getting my ribs crushed every time he hugs me because he missed me. Besides, I don’t think it’s fair for me to suddenly be hired on the spot by your father just because I’m dating you. Some more qualified people might need it more than me. I already have a decent paying job, it’s just that I hate the people I’m working with.’
‘I know, I know. But it’s also not fair for you to endure all this just for your boss’s sick pleasure. You’re not paid to be his eye-candy. You’re paid to be his assistant, and right now he clearly is trying to force you to make his disgusting fantasies a reality. Just please, think about it, alright?’ Astrid looked away, but Hiccup scooted his chair closer and caressed her cheek, making her face him again. Her frown still visible. ‘I’ve noticed you know.’ He stated.
‘Noticed what?’
‘You’ve been stressed a lot since you got this job. You barely eat or get a decent night of sleep anymore’ Hiccup traced the dark bags under her eyes. ‘You always seem irritated by something’ He brought a hand to her hand on his sleeve, trying to relax her death grip. She released him and he grabbed her hand, holding it to his chest. ‘You barely have the time for your friends and family. If we didn’t live together, I probably wouldn’t have seen much of you either. I worry about you. I miss you’ Astrid looked away again.
‘I’m sorry, I didn’t realize th-‘
‘It’s not your fault babe. What I’m trying to say is, maybe it’s time for you to be a bit selfish. You’ve worked so hard to get where you’re at, and your accomplishments are not being acknowledged because your boss is only thinking with his dick. You deserve so much better than this. Please accept my help. Not only will the job my dad offer you will be more high paying, but also less stressful. Well, as stress less it can get with Snot and the twins.’ The pair laughed. ‘But most importantly, you’ll also be working with me.’
‘Now that last part seems very tempting.’ Astrid smiles. Working with Stoick and Hiccup definitely sounds much better than being stuck with her current job.
‘Well I sure hope so! I would take serious offence if you told me you’d rather work with that sleezy old man over me!’ Her boyfriend replies while laughing. ‘But in all seriousness, I’ll talk to my dad, I know he’ll be more than thrilled to help you. If by some thorsaken reason he refuses, then I’ll help. I mean you’ve been by my side for the longest time. You stood by me when I lost my leg and had to learn how to walk again.’ He stomps his prosthetic on the floor to prove his point. ‘It’s really the least I can do.�� Astrid sighed.
‘Alright, just this time, I’ll let you help me. Because I really can’t stand working in the hellhole anymore.’ Hiccup beams and raises the hand he’s holding to his lip, kissing her palm. ‘Great! I’ll call dad now and will let you know as soon as I’m sure you got the job. Then you can finally send your two weeks notice letter.’
‘Already written since the end of my first week on the job. For now, I just have to worry about this dumb new dress code made specifically for me.’ Astrid rolled her eyes.
‘I think I might have an idea. Let’s go to the mall this weekend.’ Astrid saw Hiccup struggling to hide a mischievous grin as he got up and walked to the bedroom to pick up his charging phone.
***
‘Hiccup, you’re missing a leg, not your sight, this is very obviously not my size.’
‘Exactly, it’s perfect, I’ll lend you one of my belts so you can keep these up.’ The piece of clothing in question were a pair brown dress pants in the size M from the men’s section. ‘Now let’s check if they have a matching blazer. I’ll also lend you my dress shirts since they’re not the main focus.’ Hiccup picked out a matching blazer in the same size and held it out to Astrid. ‘Actually, let’s find you a dress shirt so we can see how the whole outfit looks like when you go try it.’ Astrid followed Hiccup as he walked towards the shirts and picked one out.
‘Go try this first, I’ll go find a few other outfits you can try.’ He shoos Astrid to the changing rooms.
‘First outfit?’
‘I mean if you want to wear only one outfit every single day until you leave that place, that’s your choice. But it would be wiser if you had a few spares’ He replied sarcastically. Astrid scoffed and left to change.
Hiccup took his time finding a few other oversized outfits for his girlfriend. Once he was satisfied with his choice, he walked towards the changing rooms.
‘Astrid?’ He called out.
‘In here’ She replied from the very end of the corridor. ‘Honestly, I hate the outfit, but this is a great idea.’ Astrid pulled the curtains aside and dramatically posed. His bewildered expression made her laugh.
‘Well, what do you think?’ Hiccup quickly recovered from the initial shock. ‘In all honesty, terrible, but at the same time you seem to be able to pull it off.’ Astrid twirled around.
‘I think if I styled it a bit and asked Heather to sew a few things, because we all know I can’t sew to save my life, it could become a nice outfit. At least we’re not wasting money. She said as she rolled up her sleeves.
‘That’s a pretty good idea.’ Hiccup grins. ‘Is it weird that I want you to bend me over a table and call you ‘Sir’ or ‘Daddy’?’
‘Eh, maybe. I’m used to you being weird though.’ Astrid laughs. ‘But please don’t call me that, it creeps me out.’
‘Roger that. Here, I got you some other outfits. I don’t think you need dress shoes, that might be too much. You can use your pair of loafers.’ Her boyfriend handed her the clothes and went to take a seat while she tried the rest of the clothing.
***
Astrid closed the door behind her. More gently than last time indicating her much better mood. Hiccup’s head popped out of their bedroom’s doorway. He smiled when he saw her good mood and walked towards her and kissed her.
‘I assume things went well?’
‘You should’ve seen the look on his dumb face! I spent the entire day trying not to laugh!’ She rejoiced as she circled her arm around his neck. They swayed for a couple of seconds before ungraciously landing on the sofa. ‘He couldn’t really say anything, because technically, I did what he asked for. I dressed professionally. I just decided to ignore his suggestions about wearing a dress or heels. I mean, who does he think he is, my stylist?’ Her boyfriend laughed and hugged her.
‘I wish I was there to see it all. But I’m happy it worked out for you.’
‘It’s all thanks to you. Things would have gotten way worse if you didn’t have this idea. I most likely would have shoved my heel down his throat or something, probably getting myself fired in the process. Then again that’s not such a bad outcome.’ Astrid rambled.
‘What can I say, I am pretty amazi- Ow!’ He cried as Astrid lightly punched him in the shoulder. He sulked as he held on said shoulder. ‘Whyy?’
‘I could see your ego poking its head out of your oversized mop of hair of yours.’
‘Harhar, if it’s not the leg jokes then it’s got to be the hair jokes. I should’ve seen that one coming.’ He mumbled that last part. Astrid smiled and kissed him.
‘But you’re right, you really are amazing. You’re the best.’
***
I’m normally not a big fan of Modern AUs, so I kind of struggled writing this one. Either way, hope you liked it!
Happy New Year!!
#fanfic#Hiccup Haddock#Astrid Hofferson#modern au#dorks go shopping#hiccstrid fanfiction#Hiccstrid#httyd
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pre-relationship, harry sees y/n in a bikini for the first time then gets awe and tongue tied🥰🥰
Wow I actually received two other similar requests haha.
“Shy y/n wearing a bikini for the first time to the beach with harry and his friends (pre-relationship) and he gets grumpy and jealous when a boy is flirting with her and she flirts back a little”
“A blurb of harry seeing y/n in a bikini for the first time before they’re dating? He feels like he’s in an entranced but she feels so shy and all”
.
“What do you mean you didn’t bring any clothes? We’re at the beach, Princess.” Layla scoffed, turning all the attention to Y/N whose face was already turning scarlet. The poor girl was the only one there not wearing a swimsuit, but with all these eyes on her, she felt like she was the most exposed.
“You literally threw my bag out because your suitcase didn’t fit in the car!”
Everyone immediately turned to Layla, who had just now remembered what she’d done. She turned to Trix, looking a bit startled. “Wait, I thought you said it was Niall’s?”
“Okay, so if it’d been Niall’s, it would’ve been okay to just throw it out?” Niall sounded offended, but as always, nobody cared.
Rolling her eyes, Layla exhaled and said, “fine, I’m sorry—“
Everyone gasped...
“—that you think it was my responsibility to make sure your stuff stayed in the car.”
...only to sigh at once. But it would‘ve been concerning if Layla had genuinely apologized.
“It’s okay,” Harry finally spoke. “She can just...uhm...wear my shorts and t-shirt.”
“Wow, Prince Charming is here to save the day, again.” Layla chuckled. “Oh well, I’ll let her borrow one of my ten bikinis.”
“Why the fuck did you bring ten?” Louis stared questioningly at the girl just like everyone else did. “We’re only here for one and a half day?”
Layla quickly pointed a finger at him. “Judge me again and next time I’ll throw your stuff out instead of Niall’s.”
“Am I supposed to feel happy about that?” Niall raised his voice, and again, nobody paid attention to him.
Layla walked over to get her bag and took out a yellow bikini as small as the one she had on. Harry had to stop her right before she could hand it to his flatmate.
“Y/N is not wearing that,” he said with nervous laughter. He could already imagine her wearing that, and the last thing he wanted was for Liam, Louis, and Niall to begin having the same thoughts as he was.
But unfortunately, Layla was never on his side.
“Are you her stylist now, Styles?“ She shot him a glare and pushed him aside to give Y/N the yellow swimsuit. “Change fast.”
“Oh...okay...”
“Wait!” Harry snatched Y/N’s wrist before she could walk away. “If you’re uncomfortable, you can just wear my clothes.”
“It’s fine, really,” she reassured him. “Layla‘s wearing one. So is Trix.”
“But they’re...Layla and Trix.”
“You do realize we can totally hear you, right?” Layla asked in an annoyed tone, but Harry didn’t really care as Y/N pressed her lips into a smile and told him she would be right back. His heart was already pounding when she walked away. How could he handle seeing her in the actual bikini?
Well, he couldn’t.
He couldn’t handle it.
She walked out a while later, holding her clothes to her chest, but her legs and her bum were enough to set his eyes on fire. He had only seen her with this little fabric on once, when she was taking shower in his room (because her shower was broken), and she forgot her clothes, so she ran outside quickly with only a towel covering her soaked body. She was so fast he hadn’t seen much, but it was enough to keep him awake many nights.
Now, he got to see more than he’d anticipated, and as much as he loved this view, he was more worried about how the other three guys also shared the same thoughts with him.
“Good,” Layla said, clearly unbothered by the boys gawking at Y/N. “Now let’s go catch some waves before I get fried by this heat. Niall!”
“Coming!” Niall shouted but his eyes lingered on Y/N a few seconds more before he hurriedly ran after Layla and Trix. Harry had seen that, and now he was fuming.
“Okay, that’s enough.” His loud voice caused Louis and Liam to snap out of whatever fantasies they were having. Quickly, he threw a beach towel over Y/N’s shoulders and wrapped it around her like she was a burrito. “Let’s keep you...uh...covered up...since you know...you haven’t put on sunscreen and all that...”
“Right.” Y/N nodded, giving him a smile which was all it took to turn his knees into jello. He almost forgot they weren’t alone until Liam spoke up.
“I brought sunscreen. Want me to do your back?”
“Go do Louis,” Harry jumped right in before Y/N could speak for herself. “We’re good, thank you. C’mon, Y/N.” Then he left his friends standing there speechless and took her hand to lead her to a shade nearby where he put his backpack.
Watching Liam and Louis run towards the ocean to join the others, Y/N turned back to see Harry handing her a tube of sunscreen. It was funny how he couldn’t even look her in the eyes as he spoke. “Put this on and...uhm...yeah...and join us when you’re done...”
“Wait,” she stopped him right before he left. “Can you put it on my back?”
On the outside, the boy calmly nodded and watched her pull down the beach towel he’d wrapped around her. On the inside, he was yelling “fuck” in every language he knew.
He sat down right behind her and squeezed the sunscreen onto her back. His hands were trembling as if he had never touched a girl before. Her skin was hot and soft, and he could only think about biting her neck as he took her from behind. Now he felt disgusted with himself. If she could hear his thoughts right now, she would move out as soon as they returned home. Fuck, he really needed to stop.
Think about dead puppies, Harry. That’s sad. And an old person eating alone too. That’s also sad.
He had almost cleared his head from all these dirty fantasies when her next question came up and flushed all his efforts down the drain.
“Want me to do you?”
Yes, do me, the voice inside his head shamelessly shouted. Do whatever you want to me.
You’re disgusting, said another voice. Honestly, he had to agree with this one.
Shaking his head fast, he broke into a crooked smile and stuttered, “I...uhm...already...put on sunscreen...”
The last thing he needed was for her to touch him. He didn’t want to get a boner on the beach. Layla wouldn’t let him live, he could already see a photo of his covered hard dick as a highlight story on her Instagram.
“You sure?” Y/N seemed worried as she brushed a curl out of his face. That little gesture alone could make his heart skip a beat. “Your face’s all red.”
The fact that she was so unaware of what she’d been doing to him without even touching him, made her much harder to resist. And now Harry finally believed ‘love sick’ was real. He felt like dying and flying at the same time.
“I’m good.” He nodded, scratching the back of his head shyly. “Wanna go now or?”
“Okay, let’s go.” She happily smiled and walked straight ahead. It was then that he noticed how her ass cheeks bounced for every step she took, and apparently he wasn’t the only one who saw that. A few men over there were watching her too. Fuck, it’s like me against all the males on this planet, Harry thought, rolling his eyes as he quickly pulled out a random t-shirt in his bag before running after her.
“Love! Hey! Put this on just in case. Sunburn is no joke.” He tried to catch his breath as she looked at him funny.
“What’s wrong with you today?” She giggled, but listened to him, and threw on the t-shirt anyway. “Thanks, I do feel like I’m naked in this small bikini. It’s cute and all but I’d be more confident with a body like Layla’s.”
“But I love your body.” Shit. Fuck.
“You what?”
“I mean.” He widened his eyes as she raised both eyebrows at him. “I mean, I love every woman’s body.” That sounds even worse, shithead. “No, I mean, all bodies are beautiful.”
“I think the sun is really turning you insane.” She giggled and grabbed his hand.
As they walked to the ocean, he had to check out her ass more than once. And all he could do was hope that he could go through this day with all the accidental physical contacts, but not her moving out as soon as they got home.
#flatmate talk#flatmate!harry#harry styles fluff#harry styles smut#harry styles imagine#harry styles fanfic#harry styles blurb#flatmate blurbs#harry styles fanfiction
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have you guys ever watched the docufiction film The Last Dragon | A Fantasy Made Real? Its a fictional documentary set in an alternate universe where dragons were real
I wrote a few reviews abt it quite a while ago, but the longer one is p old and kinda cringey/incorrect in certain places, so I’ll run down my basic thoughts here
also if anybody wants to watch this film, here’s a link to it. I first watched this when I was a wee lil dragon-fanatic, and I’m obviously a sucker for faux-documentary/field journal fantasy media, so this movie holds a special place in my heart. HOWEVER, as I will explain here, it unfortunately gets a LOT of things wrong. it’s def got some positive qualities (which I will also describe), and it’s a fun watch, but DO NOT take this movie as an accurate assessment of what dragons could have been under different circumstances
WHAT THIS DOCUFICTION GETS WRONG*:
*I’m ESPECIALLY harsh on this movie b/c it’s a DOCUfiction. I tend to be a bit more lenient when a story isn’t necessarily aiming for a realistic setting (stylistic consistency is relevant here), but when a piece of media sets out to describe a scientifically feasible setting?? I bring the hammer DOWN
1) dear god, the anatomy is janky
the wings in particular can get RLY bad.
these wings clearly need more musculature and lower arm/’hand’ length, and a full membrane connection to the torso. they don’t even have ANY hint of integration/connection to the ribcage– no keel, no shoulder/chest musculature, not even any scapula!!
disgraceful…
while I can accept elbow spines in certain cases, I still don’t rly think they’re necessary in most cases– ESPECIALLY in this case where they don’t even provide extra area to the membrane around the elbow! what’s even the point!!
also I just noticed the designers forgot to put the elbow spines in the skeletal, so I can’t even check if they were integrated correctly….. hell, looking closer, I don’t think the front legs have scapula either….. DISGRACEFUL…
the wing shoulders also need to be shifted back behind the front leg shoulders, obviously, but they ALSO ought to be shifted down more towards the sides of the ribcage. wings based high up near the spine are typical of birds b/c they’ve got specialized wing musculature that basically pulls all the wing muscles (including the “back” muscles) down under the ribcage. bat wings aren’t built for that kinda setup, thus the shoulders are based more towards the sides on actual bats. this would likely be the same for bat-winged dragons
and those aren’t even the worst wings
I legit lose my mind a little lookin at these wings like…. why no membrane…. WHY NO MEMBRANE…
also there was clearly some attempt here to give these wings chest/shoulder musculature, but the designers didn’t know how much musculature a wing actually needs (or even how those muscles need to be shaped to properly hold a body..). thus, we just get pillowy, bara-boy boobs that would be useless for flight, even if the wings themselves were actually designed right
obviously a keel is necessary for a creature this big, but even if the designers nyxed the keel, the LEAST they could do is stretch the pecs down the full length of the ribcage to properly support the torso…
beyond the wings, some of the torsos are JUST a mess
the wyvern’s torso is mostly a problem b/c of weird wing integration, but the hexapod up top just has a plain weird torso, wings or not
it feels like the designers attempted to slap canine-like front legs on an ungulate/equine chest, and just utterly failed to integrate them properly. thus, the legs are floating to the sides of the chest rather than connected to and holding it up in any substantial way
I actually see this lack of shoulder integration in a lot in dragon designs, but it’s usually a result of trying to preserve the shape of chest/throat scales, so it’s kinda weird to see on a leathery-skin design
another thing abt this particular hexapod dragon is a bit hard to explain, but the neck is like… weird. idk if it’s super apparent to others, but the neck attaches more under the skull, a bit like a dog (ignore the skeletal, it’s clearly not accurate to the dragon actually presented). however, the flow of the neck from the chest is more of a horse neck? the strong up-and-over curve of a horse neck can’t rly attach to the skull in any way except the direct back of the cranium, yet this neck attaches somewhat to the underside of the skull, giving it a VERY awkward curvature. I happened to recently answer an ask abt necks that may explain this better, but suffice to say, the neck is weird
also, as u can see above, the base of the neck at the chest is super stiff b/c the animators didn’t bother to shift the mass of the chest/neck w/ the movement of the neck, which in turn makes the neck look ABSURDLY thin at angles like these
oh, and while this is certainly not the worst of the anatomical sins, the shrink-wrapping is p bad. yeah yeah, flighted creatures gotta be light, but flying animals still have SOME fatty deposits, like…. c’mon, u can SEE the cartilage rings in the throat of that poor wyvern, gimme a break… + it gets cold in the sky, where are some protective feathers/’fur’ for these guys?? especially side-eyeing the one living in the mountains. yeah I know they’ve apparently got that heat-retaining blood protein or whatever, but much like the flight bladder (which I will get to later), that’s asking me to excuse a bit much in terms of anatomy
(tho to be fair, the actual dinos featured in the film are naked and thin too so… at least this inaccuracy is consistent..)
I feel like this is especially bad w/ the heads. it looks like there’s barely any muscular support at the connection to the neck, and no jaw musculature to speak of. of course, a croc-like jaw design could layer the muscles under bone so that they’re not necessarily visible from the outside
but note the mass distribution of the bones of the jaw– they still stick out a fair bit to leave room for the muscles underneath (including on the upper jaw), and more importantly, the area for basing the muscles on the lower jaw is WIDE. now dragons may not necessarily need a strong bite-force like crocs if they’re using their talons and fire for attack, but most ANY toothed-animal skull is gonna NEED a lower jaw with a wider back end to provide stable, strong support to the jaw muscles. what I’m seeing from the ‘croc-’like dragon heads in this movie (not the wyvern head so much, that actually isn’t too bad in this respect) are flimsy, cardboard structures that will warp at the slightest hint of pressure
also, the teeth on all the dragons are weirdly straight and thin? like fishing teeth? but the main dragons are all land predators– they SHOULD have thick/curved teeth. even crocs have thick, slightly curved teeth, get w/ the program!!
and let’s not forgot this fucker
sir… SIR, that is a muscle-less TUBE with LEGS…..
………..funny how suddenly the wiener-dragon ain’t shrink-wrapped, eh?
also this dragon absolutely CANNOT glide, no matter what kinda “flight bladders” they got, the membrane surface area is FAR too small even for gliding, I’m sorry!!
2) “evolutionary theory? what’s that??”
basically the film goes, “WHOA this dragon has 6 limbs! no other vertebrate on the planet has 6 limbs! they must have a wild genetic mutation for that to happen– oh, yep, they sure do!” and just… leaves it there
the evolution of 6 limbs in any evolutionary tree similar to Earth’s is literally so complicated, I have an entire post dedicated to breaking down JUST that concept. the way this movie so briefly presents this “wild mutation” doesn’t even BEGIN to cover how incredibly difficult it would be to shift something as hard-wired as vertebrate limb number from four to six
what’s even MORE frustrating tho is that this movie’s timeline for evolution doesn’t even make SENSE! supposedly their oldest dragon is the wyvern– the tetrapod. then that TETRApod somehow led to the HEXApod marine dragon. what in the world?? WHERE did that other limb set come from? WHY is there another limb set suddenly???
as I explain in that post linked above, it’s practically impossible for another functional, full limb set to evolve in a complex vertebrate– that’s why it’s most reasonable for hexapods to evolve long before tetrapods set the standard, and the two evolutionary lines would go their separate ways. there’s a small chance a limb set could evolve properly into a small, early tetrapod (tho even that is a long-shot), but in a LARGE vertebrate whose entire physiology revolves around their current tetrapodal, bipedal setup, as this movie suggests w/ their wyvern? hell nah, not a chance
and there are def other evolutionary problems throughout– generally just the fact that dragons seem to change VERY little, ‘aesthetically’ speaking, despite so many years of evolution and adaptation to wildly different environments (looking at the marine dragon..). yet when the dragons ARE markedly different from one another (wyvern vs. hexapod), it only brings up more problems, as covered above. like it’s all just so vague and ungrounded in any real evolutionary reality
also this post pointed out further problems w/ the evolution I didn’t even think abt (like the forest dragon being a contemporary to the mountain dragon, despite being used as an intermediary b/t marine and mountain) so I’m rly just 🤔 abt all this
3) BAD lab procedure!!
why aren’t the researchers wearing masks? they need masks to protect the corpses from human germs, and protect themselves from breathing in anything weird that was on the corpse! and they keep touching the corpse w/o gloves, getting their human oils all over the body! have they never heard of contamination?? AUGH
there’s definitely more wrong here that I rly don’t have the experience to speak on (and some of it I’m willing to excuse for the sake of a short, dramatic film– like the team having a whole lab setup right on the mountain), but the cross-contamination is what rly bothered me.
WHAT THIS DOCUFICTION GETS RIGHT and/or FUN:
1) realistic, cool behavior
the dragon behaviors featured are actually realistic, and downright cool at times!
screaming to both call for help and hurt an opponent’s ears; flashing wings to warn off opponents; mimicry to trick prey; that KICK-ASS courting ritual (if not displayed a bit awkwardly in terms of body positioning); the fiery brooding method (if we at least assume egg physiology that could handle and require that kinda direct heat, which I don’t think is…. necessarily outside reality… perhaps… maybe…)– these are all awesome examples of neat behavior
2) flight bladders? kind of??
this one is in the “got it right” list based more on potential than actual application in the movie
see, the idea of a flight bladder is p cool! the source of gas from digestion is completely reasonable, and it makes sense as a way to help a huge creature relieve some of the stress of flight
plus, the connection w/ fire-breathing is super interesting! it’s a very reasonable give-and-take system, and I like it a LOT. so this post pointed out the problems w/ having a flight system that relies on a product also used up by a different system, so now I can’t even give it that much credit lmao
however, the flight bladders in the movie are used to excuse some of the worst wing anatomy I’ve seen passed off as “realistic designs”. flight bladders may make up for *some* shortened wing length, or flight endurance, but they CANNOT make up for the problems I described in the “got it wrong” list
3) fire-breathing mechanics
if we now ignore the problems w/ this gas system being directly connected to the flight system, the fire-breathing is decently grounded in reality! the designers not only took into account the fuel source (gas from digestion), but also ignition source (platinum deposits). both of these sources are super interesting to me cus’ they technically utilize outside resources, which is not usually the case w/ a lot of fire-breathing mechanics I’ve seen
also love the specialized mouth anatomy– a scaled inner mouth and protective palate-valve make perfect sense to protect the dragon’s innards from fire, esp since the fire is igniting towards the back of the mouth. though the source of ignition being so far back in the delicate throat is itself suspect, and makes me wonder why it wasn’t simply ignited up towards the front of the mouth to prevent injury….. man I can’t give this film an inch w/o taking a mile back, huh!!
-Mod Spiral
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One Kiss (Girls Talk Boys part 5)
Possibilities I look like all you need
Each chapter has a song title attached so I could keep my files straight on my phone but it ended up really working so I kept it. I have 11 chapters actually written so far but they need revising so I'll be posting every couple of days or so if anyone was curious
Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use and cursing. Usual stuff.
Previous Chapter
She says she's not ready to leave yet. Still trying to find herself. Keeps asking me to buy prosecco. Camille smiled at the message and the picture of her shiny pink pen resting on what she assumed was Calum's couch. Kicking off her blankets, sleep forgotten for the moment, she knew two could play this game. Camille snuck downstairs ignoring the obvious sex noises coming from Cher’s bedroom. Grabbing an empty beer bottle and Calum's Zippo she set the scene on the kitchen counter before snapping a pic.
Drank four Bud Lights before passing out. Won't stop calling me bro and asking if “they're real.” Tells dad jokes. Camille grinned as she hit send.
I still don't understand how you got my lighter. watch out he'll try to feel you up when he's buzzed Calum was quick to text back
I get to have my secrets. She's a messy queen when she's wine drunk. You've been warned. After hitting send Camille gave in to the butterflies and the way anything and everything Calum did gave her fanny flutter. She opened the drawer on her nightstand and an incognito tab on her phone.
Camille woke up to her phone chiming. She had to laugh when she opened the message. There was Calum, shirtless, still in bed, hair a mess, and eyes and lips still puffy with sleep looking wide eyed and panicked for the camera. Captioned (It's not what it looks like) Camille could see her pen lying on the bed next to Calum. Camille took his lighter off her nightstand placing it on her shoulder nestled in her hair she closed her eyes and feigned sleep and took the picture.
It IS what it looks like bro.
It went on like this for days. Calum sent her snaps from the studio, his home, his favorite coffee shop, his walks with his dog Duke under the pretense of holding her pen hostage. Camille reciprocated taking his lighter with her to dance practice with Tom, on her trips to the market, to the shelter where she volunteered. She even placed it somewhere in frame on her IG and Snapchat mock draft videos. Calum had noticed and teased her for going Hollywood. Camille was surprised by how goofy and silly he really was. He came off so stern and serious when they'd meet. Now here he is cracking up at her jokes, pulling silly faces to make her smile and all the time with the compliments. Camille didn't believe them all but she couldn't lie hearing Calum say she was cute, funny or smart made her entire day. She couldn't tell if it was friendship or flirting, but regardless it was a distraction. She reminded herself yet again, a tan gorgeous muscular cheeky distraction.Who has a girlfriend, and you've known less than one month.
Right now Camille needed to focus on being her damn job and not a sexy Australian. She had her first appearance on ESPN today and this game with Calum had messed with her concentration all week. Carefully arranging her hair into a French twist and priming her face for the studio makeup she put on her best charcoal grey A line dress and matching heels and headed for the door. Just before she reached her car she saw Calum walking Duke talking to Harry out for his morning run. She waved and the guys waved back. Harry shot her an appraising smile and a thumbs up. When she got to the studio she checked her phone before silencing it. There was a picture of Calum holding his dog under one arm and her pen against his cheek with a big cheesy grin.
Knock em dead today. You look great. We believe in you.
Camille shut her phone giggling. She then ran face first into a wall. At least it felt like a wall but really it was just a massive mountain of a man. Camille felt an arm encircle her waist keeping her from falling. Looking up she was met with golden eyes, rippling muscles, tattoos everywhere and a huge smile. She just blinked taking in the second best looking man she'd ever met and certainly the biggest. “Oh my gosh are you ok I'm so sorry” he was apologizing as Camille started to recognize who he was. #87 All Pro Wide Receiver for the LA Rams “Hi I'm Quentin Diaz-Castillo” he introduced himself. Holding out his hand to shake hers. “Yes you are” Camille let the words escape before her brain could move. Her hand felt like a child’s compared to his. Catching herself she shook her head “What I meant to say there was thank you, I'm fine. I'm Camille and it's a pleasure to meet you. You've helped me win my fantasy league twice.” Quentin chuckled “That's cool, a girl being into football.”
By now they had gotten through security to the actual studio and Camille could see her boss chatting with the host of Fantasy Squad. “So Quentin, how's that wrist feeling after surgery” she leaned into him forcing him to crouch to hear her “would you say you'll be back to full strength by the season opener or should we draft Pickens as a handcuff in deeper leagues?” Camille asked with her most wide eyed innocent little girl voice and the devil in her eyes. Quentin stared at her processing her words. Her boss and owner of profantasysports finally spotted them and hurried over. Stephen tossed her a jersey “New season, new merch Cam. Sorry but it just came in.” Camille pulled the jersey over her head avoiding her hair. Looking at Stephen she asked “cap or no cap? Glasses or no? Are we selling smart or cute?” “Both” Stephen replied “no cap, wear your other glasses, and I like your hair up but can you make it, bigger?” The studio stylist nodded and started to lead Cam away. She stopped and placed a hand on Quentin’s arm “you never answered my question.” He answered in a loud stage whisper teasing her “I can't tell you my secrets in front of everyone.” “Fine” she let out a dramatic sigh “I guess you can tell me over dinner.” “I don't have your number” Quentin answered as the stylist pulled Cam away to get her ready for the camera “He does” Cam pointed at Stephen who promptly whipped out his phone.
Cher invited Luke and Tom over so they could watch Camille’s big debut. Calum and Ashton came along with Luke. The theme music for NFL Fantasy Live started and Cher made everyone hush. Cher cheered out loud when her friend appeared on screen. She was split screen with two guys who kept trying to talk over her but Cam was having none of it. It was verbal jujitsu watching her take down both so called experts. She hit all of her talking points, corrected one guy’s stats, name dropped PFS and looked great in the new merch. Cher made everyone in the room high five her when the show ended.
Cam stepped off stage and found Stephen waiting for her. “You were fantastic” her boss looked pleased “I have no doubt they're gonna ask you back.” Internally she was jumping up and down and screaming, on the outside she was still pretty giddy. “That would be amazing” Cam stopped and glanced around hopefully. Stephen noticed “Sorry, he had to leave, he seemed to like you though.” “Did he want my number?” Camille tried and completely failed not to sound too eager. “I gave it to him but don't hold your breath” her boss warned “He has a serious reputation.” Camille turned her phone back on walking to her car. Her phone started buzzing like an electric beehive. She scrolled smiling at messages from her friends and family till she saw Calum's number.
Am I supposed to be impressed? Because I'm impressed.
Her chest fluttered but then an unknown number popped up.
If you're hungry I'm free right now. Look up.
Camille raised her head and there was Quentin lounging against an expensive looking Rover.
“Let's get lunch. I'm starving” Quentin called out. Camille snapped a quick pic and sent it to Cher. Going to lunch with this guy. Don't wait up.
Camille was both thrilled and terrified. The little bistro he'd taken her to was simple yet elegant. They were tucked away on a little patio to give them a little privacy and Quentin some room. Restaurant chairs just weren't designed with 6’4, 220 lb NFL players in mind. It wasn't just that he was an enormous human being Quentin was even better looking up close. He had an easy smile and his eyes went from chocolate to amber with his moods. Quentin had a great sense of humor and was a natural entertainer. He kept Camille laughing with story after story about football while also being genuinely interested about her life and interests. They were both into football of course. It turns out Quinton was as obsessed with 90’s music as Cam was. They both loved Game of Thrones, Beyonce and boy bands. Her head was spinning and Camille wasn't sure if it was Quentin or the wine.
The food was excellent. Brined and roasted duck with truffle mac and cheese and fresh snap peas. “I'm glad to see you're a girl who appreciates food” Quentin commented. Camille felt herself blush, she'd always been self conscious about her weight. “What do you mean?” She replied trying not to sound defensive dropping her eyes to her lap. Quentin immediately grabbed her hand across the table. “Nothing is worse than going on a date with a cute girl who won't eat or talk” he winked at her. Now she was blushing as she smiled at him “I've never been afraid of either. In fact not being able to shut up got me here today.”
“I saw your segment. Those jerks kept trying to talk over you” Quentin leaned back motioning for the server “ doesn't that bother you?”
“Of course it does, but I've been playing fantasy for ten years, professionally for three. Before that I worked in restaurants. I'm small, female and pink. Nobody ever takes me seriously, at first” with that Camille’s sour expression switched to a sly grin. Quentin faked a horrified expression “I'd hate to get on your bad side” “They don't call me the Angry Chihuahua for nothing” Camille finished her wine. Quentin cracked up right as dessert arrived.
The restaurant was known for its “tea”rimisu. Consisting of rolls of spongy floof cake drizzled in the house crafted green tea liqueur, layered with whipped marscapone, more delicious floof cake, topped with a dulce de leche sauce and fresh whipped cream. Camille took her first bite and gazed across the table at Quentin. Their eyes met as the sweetness hit her tongue. Camille felt her heart flutter and knew she'd fallen in love. This cake was that fucking good. She closed her eyes not wanting to let anything ruin the moment. “You should see the look on your face” Quinton teased her. “Now I know your secret to being such a ladies man. Seduction by cake.” Camille teased back.
It was almost 9 pm by the time Camille got home. After dinner she'd wanted to leave a thank you note for the pastry chef. This turned into a quick visit to meet the kitchen staff and Quentin posing for a few photos. Quentin had volunteered to drive her home, but Camille didn't want the hassle of picking up her car the next day. She'd only had one glass of wine with a full meal. She came home to just Cher and a surprisingly tidy house. “Oh you're home, and alone” Cher came out of the kitchen. “Good Lord I just met him this morning I'm not going to drag him to bed that quickly” Camille had to laugh. “Well I ran the boys off just in case” Cher responded “some of them were very eager to meet your date. Cody is dying to hear from you and tell you about him and Nick. Tom says Quentin is one of his favorite players. Calum didn't look all that thrilled though. I wonder why. Probably doesn't want you replacing him as your boyfriend.” “I don't have a boyfriend” Camille snorted. “Not yet” Cher shot back lighting a joint and handing it over.
Next Chapter Jealous
#5sos#5sos imagine#ashton 5sos#ashton irwin#calum 5 seconds of summer#calum 5sos#calum hood#calum imagine#luke 5sos#luke hemming imagines#luke hemmings#5 seconds of summer#harry styles#luke 5 seconds of summer#tom holland#luke hemmings fanfic#one kiss#girls talk boys#5 seconds of summer imagine#5 seconds of summer fanfic#5sos fanfic#5sos fanfiction#calum hood fanfiction#calum hood fanfic#calum hood imagine
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So, I have to go to Book Expo America at the end of this week. If you are not some official publishing person you’re probably like, “What is Book Expo America?” It’s this big huge massive (insert another large-sounding adjective here) industry thing where there are:
1. Publishers 2. Authors 3. Book sellers 4. Publicists
And almost all of them are well dressed.
There is the issue! I am from Maine…. Okay, I live in Northern Maine. How northern? When people from Glamour Magazine came up here to do a photo shoot with Megan Kelley Hall and myself (for our Dear Bully anthology) they made us DRESS IN LL BEAN CLOTHES!!!!!
Yes, even Glamour knew that it is not glamorous up here.
Sigh.
Megan still looked good. Me? The hair stylist/make-up person kept complaining about my hair, and how my nose turned red in the cold, and I felt so badly for her because she was used to super models or My Little Pony (really – she was the stylist for My Little Pony) and then she got stuck with me.
Anyway, I was thinking about BEA and authors who are always beautiful and poised and funny and lovely. And I have decided I need to somehow magically channel these authors at BEA so I don’t look like a hick from Maine or like, you know, I’ve never actually interacted with other actual human beings before.
But pretty much everything in my wardrobe has paint stains on it, holes, or long white dog fur.
She always blames me. There are lint rollers out there for a reason. Geesh.
I basically come across as either an eccentric old-money professor or homeless.
You may think I have no reason to be panicky, but I’m going to repost what happened to me the last time I went to BEA, and maybe you’ll understand.
ONCE AGAIN FOR THOSE WHO MISSED IT BEFORE – HERE IS THE HORRIBLE INCIDENT OF ME AT BEA LAST TIME (Taken from the original blog post of horror): So, yep, I had my skirt fall off (YES! PAST MY KNEES!) when I got out of the taxi today! Oh, Britney…oh Lindsey…oh Paris… I so feel your pain. Fortunately, there were no paparrazzi, just my cab driver (His eyes got really big) and a father with his eight-year-old son (WHO WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!). They were standing right there, waiting for the taxi. The little boy gasped! GASPED!!!! I have marred him for life.
I then realized I should not be let out of Maine.
So I started yanking my skirt up with my hand while trying to: a. Pay taxi driver guy b. not die c. juggle three massive bags full of ARCS d. not worry about that little boy’s therapy bills.
It was then that I realized that hotel security cameras probably totally caught the skirt fall action.
I thanked God (and pretty much every potential deity in existence) that I am not famous and therefore not worthy enough to have the skirt DISASTER image blasted all over the internet.
I then hid in the hotel room, vowing never to come out again.
So, yeah. I don’t want that to happen again.
If you would like to see me in unsuitable clothes, check out the Lerner Booth on Friday, June 1 from 11:30 to noon. I’ll be there with a spy who was also a catcher. 🙂
WRITING NEWS
Yep, it’s the part of the blog where I talk about my books and projects because I am a writer for a living, which means I need people to review and buy my books or at least spread the word about them.
I’m super good at public image and marketing for nonprofits but I have a much harder time with marketing myself.
So, please buy one of my books. 🙂 The links about them are all up there in the header on top of the page on my website carriejonesbooks.blog . There are young adult series, middle grade fantasy series, stand-alones for young adults and even picture book biographies.
Time Stoppers
Flying
Moe Berg
Write! Submit! Support! Begins Again in July!
“It’s not easy to create a thriving writing career in the children’s industry, but what if you didn’t have to do it alone? Write. Submit. Support is a six-month program designed by author and Writing Barn Founder Bethany Hegedus. Classes are led by top creatives in the children’s industry field; they’ll give you the tips and tools you need to take both your manuscripts and your developing career to the next level. Think of it as an MFA in craft with a certificate in discovering (or recovering) your writer joy! – Writing Barn “
And more about the class I specifically teach? It is right here.
Here is what current students are saying:
Carrie is all strengths. Seriously. She’s compassionate, funny, zesty, zany, insightful, honest, nurturing, sharp, and…Wow, that’s a lot of adjectives. But really, I couldn’t praise Carrie enough as a mentor. I’ve long respected her writing, but being talented at something doesn’t automatically mean you will be a great mentor. Carrie just happens to be one of those rare cases of extreme talent and excellent coaching. Aside from the specific feedback she offers, she also writes letters in response to the process letter and analyses. These letters have been so impactful for me as I writer that I plan to print them and hang them up. Creepy? Maybe. But they are so inspiring. And that, in the most long-winded way possible, is how I would summarize Carrie as a mentor—inspiring.
Dogs Are Smarter Than People
And finally, the podcast DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN PEOPLE is still chugging along. Thanks to all of you who keep listening to our weirdness. We’re sorry we laugh so much… sort of.
Look, Mom! It’s a podcast.
Book Expo America is Coming and I have Nothing to Wear So, I have to go to Book Expo America at the end of this week. If you are not some official publishing person you’re probably like, “What is Book Expo America?” It’s this big huge massive (insert another large-sounding adjective here) industry thing where there are:
#amwriting#bea#bookexpoamerica#carriejones#maine#maineauthors#maineclothes#moeberg#writerinsecurity#writertravel#writinglife
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....It took Ignis a while to realize that he was shaking, literally trembling where he stood, his jaw hanging inelegantly open as he gaped at the scene before him. Astrals, he hadn’t been this wonder-struck since his first visit to the club.... *blush* ummmm like this whole chapter to be perfectly honest.
You. I like you.
I’m going to totally commentate the entire freakin’ chapter because insomnia is refusing to let me sleep and I love the chance to blather on about my work to a willing audience!
I will be kind and put it behind a cut, though.
Okay, I’m pulling up the chapter and commenting as I go, so if you read it as you go my comments might make more sense! Wait, first I should make coffee. Coffee is love, coffee is life.
Okay, I’m back with coffee! So, the first thing I’ll say about this chapter is it’s actually the first thing I wrote. Specifically, the Ignis POV starting with his arrival at the club. A few days later, I wrote the Gladio POV, and a couple days ago, I added the paragraphs at the beginning about Ignis’s relaxing day going to the farmer’s market, coffee shop, etc to help it flow from chapter 1 better. I initially was going to have this be maybe chapter 4 or so, but I said fuck it, let’s start the bdsm off right out of the gate so people know what they’re reading, lol.
Lest you think those first few paragraphs are merely filler, let me assure you I love Ignis getting downtime, and I will write it into as many stories as I can. It’s a good balance for how often I put him through all the angst.
So, Iggy’s outfit I put a lot of thought into! He’s a strategist, so I figured he’d have his disguise nailed. First, the suit. Iggy wears suits all the time, but I headcanon they are perfectly tailored, high class affairs. So for this, he wears something off the rack. The red tie was actually an in-joke/call back to a scene in my co-authored fic with @aliatori, This Too Is Sacred (check it out). He couldn’t take his car, too much of a clue to his identity. He absolutely cannot speak - his accent? Way too recognizable. So we have the silent, carless, off-the-rack suited, masked Hawk, anonymous in the crowd but still a bright beacon to those who are looking closely, because even with the different guise, it’s still Iggy, and he’s still amazing.
Fun fact: the card Iggy needed to show the doorman to get in? Based off a local kink party I attended for several years before it stopped running. You had an approval process, and once you were totally vetted you got your card and then you could get into events without signing waivers or being vouched for etc.
I also borrowed heavily from personal experience when I described what he saw/heard/smelled as he walked into the club proper. The very first kink event I went to had a dress code that was basically formal wear or fetish wear, if you showed up in jeans + tshirt you wouldn’t be allowed in. While I personally don’t feel the need to be that strict, I like the atmosphere of everyone being formal, whatever that means to them. I also thought it fit Iggy.
The ridiculous cacophony of conversation/sounds of beatings/loud music takes some getting used to, haha. And I am here for being in a room that basically overwhelming smells like leather.
The ‘rules’ I put in place are again, stolen from real events I attended. Not that consent is a unique rule since its the law everywhere that I live. Anonymity is super super important at events like this though. The best events are the ones that manage to feel exotic, but still like a safe space where you can just be yourself. The no alcohol thing, too. You really don’t want to mix consensual beatings with intoxication.
Okay I live for the headcanon that while Ignis’s refusal to speak is part of his effort to keep his identity secret, that his refusal to cry out during play is also a challenge issued to every top he scenes with.
“Who was that, in the far corner there?” the point where everyone is hopefully shouting IS IT GLADIO IS IT GLADIO
I stopped typing for several minutes because I read the paragraph describing Gladio giving that beating and… yeah. lol.
Iggy of course gets pissed seeing him there, because as we established in chapter 1 he has a gigantic unrequited crush on a man he perceives as straight and therefore off-limits. Also, I try to make the characters human, and Iggy losing his temper at something that isn’t actually a wrong action on anyone’s part makes him very human to me.
One of my favorite lines this chapter: “He cautiously walked closer, knowing he was playing with fire - if anyone could see through his masquerade, it would be Gladiolus - but like the proverbial moth he was drawn ever closer to that brightly burning flame.” Not to toot my own horn or anything haha!
Now we’re to the section you actually put in my ask box. Ignis has totally lost hold of his self control at this point. Well, not totally, I suppose. Totally would have had him going right up to Gladio and kissing the crap out of him, lol. But seeing the man he’s been crushing on is also a skilled and inventive top, it’s all a little too much for our Igster.
And then, Ignis’s play partner finds him. I tried to strike a balance between writing their scene so that the reader could tell who Stag was meant to be, without making it blatant. After all, Ignis doesn’t know. The guise of Stag was directly chosen because of the stylistic details of Nyx’s headgear in Kingsglaive.
Of course Ignis has to hesitate, though, since Gladio is RIGHT FUCKING THERE OMG, but his desire for his monthly fix wins out.
For the beating itself, I won’t say much, except that I do so love writing gladnis bdsm and I never plan to stop.
Now we hit my favorite line of this chapter and I am not at all ashamed to highlight it: “And then, the kaleidoscope of his waking dream shifted, and he saw nothing but Gladiolus.”
Sigghhhh
An oops, some clean up, and a little flirty banter, and Iggy’s POV ends with him noticing Gladio staring at him like he’s a Cup Noodles, and he gets a flash of hope that maybe his crush isn’t so hopeless as he’s previously though.
And then we’re over to Gladio.
I shamelessly used the beginning of Gladio’s POV to highlight two issues I’ve seen happen in kink communities. TOPS NEED AFTERCARE TOO DAMMIT. FUCK ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY DON’T. Seriously. Give your top a fucking hug. A bottle of water. Make sure they’re as okay as they are making sure are post-scene, ugh. And don’t treat them like beating dispensers, they have fucking feelings and they are people and and and ooookay, off my soap box. :D
I considered having Gladio also masked, but figured even if his tattoo wasn’t fully done at this point, he’s such a unique figure (even in a fantasy world like Eos, we don’t see that many 6′6″ massive muscular dudes walking around) that it would be rather pointless to try and hide. Plus… I mean, its Gladio. Why would he hide?
And of course I had to have him watch Iggy’s beating and fixate needing to get to know and hopefully play with that masochist because, well, we all know the Gladnis is coming, especially if you’ve read Discretion you know where I am taking this.
I took great delight in writing how meeting Hawk’s eyes reminded Gladio of Ignis’s eyes and then him thinking how ridiculous the idea of Iggy ever being at a place like the club, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ahem. Sorry.
So of course Nyx had to be the one to invite Gladio/get him on the approved list, because I just watched Kingsglaive and I’m thirsty for some Nyx. Also I could see them bro-ing it up and talking about shit like this organically, so it wouldn’t be like Nyx creepily offered “you should come to this elite kink party” so much as they just compared notes on relationships/dating/etc and it came up.
I also headcanon Nyx as an unrepentant flirt, so don’t mind him flirting with Hawk and Gladio with equal ease, lol.
Nyx throwing down the gauntlet to Gladio re: Hawk … nothing like a little trash talk between bros, right?
Gladio gets home and I decide he’s a shower beer guy, because really he’s like 21 years old at this point, he just went to a kink party where he spent most the night beating ungrateful recipients who left him high and dry, and then he watched a masked hottie come from no stimulation other than a flogging. He needed a fucking drink, why wait til after the shower?
At the end of the chapter I enjoy Gladio thinking it would be more appropriate to focus his thoughts on Hawk since he doesn’t think Ignis would be into him at all, haha. Those two crazy dumb kids, we’ll get ‘em there, I promise.
So this was WAY MORE INFO than you probably wanted when you sent me your ask but I HAVE COFFEE AND I CAN’T SLEEP AND OKAY THEN.
Thanks for being so kind and supportive.
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A NEW ME -1
[ Let Just Keep It Real - JADA ]
I admit it. I wasn’t happy about leaving the tour, pausing the group and returning home to Agusta. I had grown accustomed to big cities, big lights and the variety of people, especially men, that I was able to encounter daily while on the road with my FLAME crew. I didn’t want to rob Jace of his high of going solo and joining the Miguel tour but I was going to definitely miss him. We sacrificed so much of our lives to sing and do what we love. Now I’m headed home to be a 20-year-old mom. I’d be 21 in a couple of months but either way, I didn't feel that I was ready. My parents were so disappointed in me. So much so that grandpa was the only one that extended a hand of mercy to me. I guess seeing that everyone was so opinionated and had done all but kicked me out, he decided that I needed some type of support.
For now, I have told my family that Q was the father although I was uncertain. Once I knew for sure I’d feel a lot better. Luckily he just received a slap on the wrist since he hired a great lawyer. He would be released by the end of the week and hopefully, I could get some answers regarding his lifestyle. I was extremely nervous about telling him about the baby. What I needed to do first was make sure that Ernest wasn’t the father. What the hell would I say if my security guard turned out to be the father of my child? Granted, Ernest was a beautiful man and seemed like a sweet person but I didn’t make it my business to get to know him outside of our sex sessions.
Thinking about everything now honestly made me consider terminating the pregnancy. I was against it morally but I do believe that women should have the choice. I knew I was thinking crazy so I was glad when Adrienne decided to stop by for a visit. She decided to leave the tour and help me out with things concerning the unborn baby.
“Come in,” I said while laying on my bed.
“Hey trick. How are you feeling?” she asked.
“Today is a good day. I’m just a little tired and don’t feel like getting out of this damn bed girl,” I said.
“Ok. Enough with the pleasantries. Catch me up on what’s going on. Have you found out who the baby daddy is?” she said with her super arched eyebrows raised.
Adrienne was the only one aware that I wasn’t quite sure who the father of the child may be. I hadn’t even told Jace. He and I had yet to have a real sit down to discuss what was happening in our separate lives. I knew that I was missing much of what was going on with him because he was busy recording and rehearsing for the upcoming tour. I really needed my brother but I had already placed so much strain on us with this pregnancy I figured I’d spare him the details about the paternity issues.
“Well, honestly I don’t know what my next move should be. I did go ahead and make an appointment with my doctor. I’m planning to talk to Ernest tonight about the possibility of it being his baby. I’m not sure exactly where he is since I’ve come back home. He’s not securing Jace. I know that much,” I said with a blank stare.
“Well, that’s enough of a plan. That may be the hardest part about all of this,” she said.
“No the hardest part is that I can’t have sex and I don’t know how to contact Q. His phone it turned off. Probably has a new number,” I said.
“First of all, you can still have sex. I actually heard it was good for the baby so don’t fret. And yeah, I’ll help you try to get in contact with him,” she said while standing to leave. “What you don’t know is that while you were creeping around with Q, I was getting to know one of his assistants named Bryan. I can text him and get the juice on what’s going on,” she said with a sneaky smirk on her face.
“You damn hoe. When were you gonna tell me this?” I said sitting up in the bed so I could look her in the eye.
“Well, it was just a thing that happened one night we were all at the club. Girl, I’ve been getting to know a lot of guys on this tour. I had my fun. Hate it had to come to an end but whatever,” she said. I immediately felt a rush of unwarranted guilt flush over me.
“I’m so sorry. I allowed my actions to take food out of everyone’s mouth. I really didn’t mean for it to end this way,” I said on the brink of tears. My hormones were doing the most lately and today I was extremely emotional.
Adrienne ran over to hug me. “Girl, life happens. We had fun and we’ll have more fun. Our first responsibility to each other is to be family first. The work was just a bonus. There are other faces that I can beat and other booties I can dress. Don’t underestimate me, diva,” she said with a warm smile.
She left the room and laid back down to figure out how I would address Ernest. He was there to do one thing and that was to secure me. Now he may be my baby’s daddy. When hoeing goes wrong.
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[ On My Own - Jace ]
I’m going to come back before the rehearsal to pick you up so we can ride together,” Demarion said while placing kisses on my cheek, lips, and forehead.
“Ok, dude. Get off of me so I can have this conference call,” I said while play fighting him off of me.
“See you later man,” he said flashing that toothy smile that melts me before leaving my room.
Things were happening so quick. I could barely keep up but this is the life I signed for. It was just different now that all of the attention was on me. We had one more week left before I left to join Miguel on his U.S. Tour. The first stop would be Austin, TX. I knew I needed to call home and check in. I really needed to make sure Jada was cool with our decision and hopefully, she could come to my first show. I had written recorded 4 new songs for my set and was about to release an EP in a few days. Between rehearsals, meetings and kissing up Demarion, I hadn’t much extra time for a long phone conversation. I planned to go home before the tour. I was in Atlanta currently and my hometown of Augusta, Ga was only a few hours away. Mona had me set up in the heart of the city at the Aloft Hotel, Downtown, Atlanta. The only people currently here were her, the band and I. I opted to keep the same band that we had on the previous tour because we meshed so well. The conference call we were having today would decide who else we would keep or bring on for the new tour.
Things were moving fast but felt good. Luckily Demarion was in the city to keep me company and it helped a lot that he was actually from Atlanta so he was able to take me to some of the citie’s staples in between rehearsals. This morning we woke up and went running around the trail at Piedmont park and grabbed some smoothies from a unique juice bar called Arden’s Garden. We were supposed to eat lunch later but I haven’t been hungry lately. I’m sure it was still from the butterflies I was having. Strange enough, Demarion and I hadn’t discussed what we were or what we would be after sharing our common attraction for each other. With everything going on it didn’t quite matter but I still found myself daydreaming when he wasn’t around. He made me feel a way that no one had ever made me feel. We hadn’t done anything sexual only kisses, cuddles and hugs. That alone made me feel connected to him and gave me wet dreams. I even caught myself being jealous. This morning when were running he had his shirt off. His chocolate colored body was glistening and his big chest bounced at every step. He had on his earbuds listening to trap music, I’m sure, and didn’t notice me admiring him. That’s when I caught a girl wearing a yellow sports bra and running tights running towards us. She almost tripped when she saw him coming around the curb. That part was cool. However, she had the nerve to turn around and run behind us the rest of the way. It took everything in me not to stop us mid-run and tongue him down right there in the middle of the park. I let her have her fantasy gaze that day but I gave her an ugly glare to let her know ‘you can look but you won’t touch’.
That explains how I feel about him. As much as I admire him, he admires me and super protective of me. He holds nothing back when he thinks someone is giving me a hard time. I wanted to continue rehearsing last night and one of the bandmates kept complaining about the time. Demarion ripped into and told him he could leave and not return. I stood there speechless knowing he was only that upset because he knew it was annoying me.
My facetime app, on my computer, alerted me that I had an incoming call interrupting my thoughts. I quickly threw on a t-shirt and positioned the camera to get me waist up. I was only wearing boxers and Mona didn’t need to see that.
“Hey Jace, I have to be quick. I have a call with the label after this. I need to finalize the budget and you need to tell me who you want on this tour with you. We can only have 6 full-time crew members outside of the band. I’m already counted as one so that leaves you with 5 more,” Mona said immediately jumping into the call. She was very nice but strictly business when it came to business. As she should be.
“Hey Mona, well I definitely want to bring TJ on to do the lights. Also if we can see if Mr. Davis is available to run sounds. TJ has a friend named Bryson that can do the video and photography work. He can call also set us up with local photographers in each city to help us get more photos. I honestly don’t have an assistant or stylist in mind. I’m open for suggestions though,” I said matching her business tone.
“All of those sound great. I will get the information for Bryson from TJ. My niece Ashley just graduated from college and looking for some work. She majored in Business Administration so I think bringing her along as you assistant will be a great opportunity to her to see what she wants to do with her degree. You don’t want to bring Adrienne to style you?” she said.
“No, she’s going to stay behind and be with Jada. I’m sure I can reach out to her to see if she has any friends she’d like to recommend,” I said.
“Cool. Well, this is enough information for now. The entire crew will be asked to meet us here in Atlanta on Sunday so we can warm up to each other,” she said.
“Wow that’s a short time,” I said.
“Welcome to the music business baby. They either want it or they don’t,” She said with a wink. “Well, I gotta go. Check your email before bed.”
“Ok I will, thanks, Mona,” I said closing the facetime app.
I didn’t realize I had received a few texts while talking to Mona. There was one from TJ, two from Demarion and one from a number not saved in my phone. I decided to check TJ’ s first. I knew Demarion was probably just confirming the time he’d be back to get me.
TJ’s TEXT | “Hey boi. Am I invited on this tour? Did you talk to Mona?”
MY TEXT | “Yes. Just spoke to her. You’re confirmed. Even told her about your friend Bryson. She’ll be calling you soon to get more information.”
TJ’s TEXT | “Dude I freaking love you! I’m excited. I’ll tell Bryson to get some samples of his work together”
MY TEXT | “Cool. FYI. If everything goes well Mona wants Y'all in Atlanta on Sunday.
TJ’s TEXT | “I can do that. Atlanta isn’t far from Charlotte. I’m here with my grandparents so I can be there in no time.”
MY TEXT | “Cool”
I decided to answer Demarion next.
DEMARION’s TEXT | “Yo. It took everything for me not to give you some earlier.”
DEMARION’s TEXT | “My bad my mans. I just had a moment haha. Sorry.”
He must have thought since I didn’t immediately reply that he offended me. I texted back.
MY TEXT | “No apology needed. It was definitely hard for me to cool off after our run. *wink emoji*”
I immediately say the reply bubbles letting me know he was responding.
DEMARION’s TEXT | “No rush though. I want every moment with you to be perfect. Becuase you’re perfect. I’ll be back in 2 hours. Have those lips ready. I already miss kissing you”
MY TEXT | “Cool. *blush emoji* and Same.”
I said putting down the phone. I could already feel his full lips on mine and his thick tongue inside of my mouth without him even being there. He was a great kisser; soft but intense.
I was about to shower when I remembered I had another text. I decided to open it.
UNKNOWN NUMBER TEXT | Please tell your sister to answer the phone. I’ve been calling her.
I didn’t know who this was. It was quite unsettling to read, to say the least, but I would relay the message. I feel like whatever Jada was in right now was deep but I couldn’t let it distract me. Although I would do my best for her, I had a lot going on. Besides, we’re both grown and I’m out here on my own.
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31st May 2020 - Uematsu
Nobuo Uematsa (b. 1959)
Final Fantasy Collection (various) https://open.spotify.com/album/4dq25Jl7OmPSeoYPwYoV1C?si=H2lXffoGRIK6k1-wwJzyPA
So we’re coming to the end of the month, and the end of the alphabet and the composers for the next few letters are slim pickings to say the least. ‘U’ was particularly hard. There’s Ugolini who is an old choral composer, and Ullmann who seems to have written some weird piano music but apart from that I don’t think I’d ever heard of anyone on this list. For interest’s sake I’ve decided to cover some music by Japanese composer Uematsa. He’s a living composer who is apparently extremely well-known in the video game community. He seemingly wrote all of the music for the Final Fantasy series of games. I have to say, these aren’t games I have ever played, but I am aware of their existence, and I know they have a massive following. Having said that I have no idea what the music in them is like or about, so I’ll have to see if I can call this classical music or not by the end. There’s an absolutely huge amount of music available by this guy on Spotify, but all the tracks are quite short. I’ve chosen this compilation album to get a sense of what this composer is about. I don’t think that’s breaking the rules. This music is all from various Final Fantasy games, apparently.
Above - I can’t find a way to make this look good. Also, did Uematsu write a Pastoral Symphony?
1. Sadness (FF5) – I’m getting some Einaudi vibes already. This does what it says on the tin. It sounds sad. There’s a clanger at 0:39, which I think is the recording rather than the score. It’s either a wrong note or an accidental pressing of two keys at the top of the phrase, but it sounds messy and takes me out of the atmosphere unfortunately. At 0:45, we here the same pattern played correctly, and it’s much nicer! There is a strange noise in the background, it sounds a bit like guitar frets. 1:22 is an interesting pause before a slightly abrupt end.
2. Julia (FF8) – Ok, there’s something other than piano playing in this. Something sounds percussive. I don’t know what though. Here at 0:40, there’s another interesting harmony, but this time I think deliberately. From 0:58 it becomes obvious that there’s an acoustic guitar as well. I don’t know who Julia is, but she’s a little bit dull.
3. Celes’s Theme (FF6) – This is already more interesting melodically. The texture’s not very inviting, and the top line does stick out quite a bit, and not for the right reasons necessarily. Celes is obviously a little dull as well. I suppose there might be a lot of tragedy in this game, I don’t know. There’s a repeat, and the top line is really starting to grate on me now. It’s never quite in time, and the sound isn’t warm at all. I think this is an electric piano maybe, as there’s no depth to the sound, particularly in the high register at all.
Above - from Final Fantasy apparently. Is the game about cacti?
4. Hometown of Ur (FF3) – A similar composition to the last piece actually. Moving baseline with a melody over the top. The playing is not very good unfortunately, and there’s no sense of phrasing at all. I’m not going to remember this tomorrow. I don’t like many of the works by composers like Einaudi, but I can remember them.
5. Edgar and Sabin (FF6) – Didn’t Sabin invent the polio vaccine? This is the nicest melody so far. Very much the same style though. It also ends in a very weird way.
Above - Albert Sabin: vaccine superhero and big fan of Final Fantasy
6. Rydia’s Theme (FF4) – This sounds like it’s been turned into a ballad from the Eurovision song contest. I’m acutely aware that the playing in this recording is pretty poor (sorry) and not very multidimensional. This makes the music seem bad, but I think if played with a bit more musicality, that wouldn’t be the case. The tempos are strict, but then things aren’t played on time, there’s no warmth to the sound at all. 1:42 for example isn’t terrible writing, but the player should lean into that unexpected note.
7. Forest Theme (FF6) – It doesn’t make me think of a forest, but as a stylistic representation of the James Bond theme tune played on a jewellery box it gets 100%. 1:28 is a genuine revelation, with possible the first time in this CD we’ve heard something that’s not a single line of melody over the top of a simple bassline. It’s much more developed that what we’ve heard so far. There’s even a rallentando at 2:33. It still ends sounding like James Bond though.
8. Theme of Love (FF4) – Oh, arpeggiated chords under a simple melody, that’s new. Kill me now. Also, there’s no real distinguishing features between the first track about sadness and this one about love. I would be unable to pick them apart in a line-up. It’s pretty dreary. I have to say it’s quite relaxing, but it’s certainly not interesting.
Above - 10/10 would wear Uematsu’s jumper
9. Home Sweet Home (FFV) – We’re back in music box territory again. Is the game set in the real world? I don’t know. If there’s sections of it set in a music box, or somewhere mechanical, then this is interesting. I can’t help but realise though that if you played this on a piano, it would be no different to any of the other tracks. And the electronic output of the lower notes in this track sound like a 90s Casio keyboard à la year 7 music.
10. Music Box (FFV) – Oh, right, this one is about a music box. Yep, sounds like a music box, boring. I’d prefer the finale of Swan Lake on the music box any day. Unfortunately this one’s boring and long as well. Not in the grand scheme of things, but my time is very important right now…oh wait, coronavirus. The end is particularly shit.
Overall – 3/10. This was going to be a 1/10: the playing is awful, and not at all musical, the music itself is boring, predictable and monotonous, and even the quality of the recording is pretty shoddy. However, it gets an extra point for 2 reasons: 1. It’s not meant to be performance music, it’s designed to accompany a game set in a fantasy land (I assume), and 2. It’s a little bit relaxing, it’s not horrible to listen to.
Below is some good Uematsu. Why didn’t I review this? We’ll never know.
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A film of Arthur Miller´s famous play that made me think about Pauline Kael’s views on Long Day’s Journey Into Night, something like, ‘People argue about whether this is cinema or merely filmed theatre. I don’t care, whatever it is, it’s great’. The play, now considered a great American classics, opened to mix reviews in 1947, its run prolonged mainly by Brooks Atkinson´s appreciation in The New York Times which, according to Christopher Bigspy in Arthur Miller, ´welcomed a new talent and praised All My Sons as an honest and forceful drama, identifying Arthur Miller´s talent for unselfconscious dialogue, for creating characters as individuals with hearts and minds of their own (p.282). Word of mouth made it a hit, and in April of 1947 it won the New York Drama Critics’ Circle Award as best play over Eugene O´Neill´s The Iceman Cometh.
I saw the film in two stages. In the first, which amounted to the first act, you’re introduced to the characters: Joe Keller (Edward G. Robinson), a rich industrialist who’d been taken to trial for manufacturing and shipping defective plane parts that caused the death of 21 airmen but found innocent by a jury; His wife Kate, (Mady Christians), warm, dutiful, and with a core strength, who nonetheless seems to be living in a fantasy world where horoscopes matter and her son Larry, a pilot who’s been missing in action for three years, is still alive; their other son, Chris (Burt Lancaster), back from the war, working with the Dad he seems to worship, and having fallen in love with Anne (Louisa Horton), who used to be Larry’s girl.
Watching the first part, it seemed to me that the film was going to be about Chris being able to marry Anne without sending Kate to an early grave. It had brilliant dialogue and the actor are magnificent. But it looked so dull. The direction is atrocious, like a film made by someone who knew nothing of the medium, the camera first using establishing shots and then merely following or focussing on whoever’s speaking next. I see that that’s not actually the case and that aside from filming many of the films in the Falcon series, Irving Reis also directed films that are still remembered including The Big Street (1942) Crack-up (1946 ), and The Batchelor and the Bobby Soxer (1947). But let’s just say he’s not a major visual stylist.
After I returned to the film, I saw the last two acts in one swoop, and it made me better understand those who go to cinemas to see filmed plays even without a live broadcast. This is such a great play and it seems more relevant now than ever. According to Kate Burford in her great biography of Lancaster, Burt Lancaster: An American Life, the film was made at a time when ‘the mistakes, chicanery and treachery of the home front’ during the war had become the stuff of daily postwar headlines. The New York Times would suggest that screenwriter Chester Erksine, had carefully deleted from the original play anything that might explicitly suggest that there are ‘faults in the capitalist system’ and had confined the drama to the greed of one man (Loc 1455 on Kindle). But what drama!
As the play unfolds, we find out that Anne, the girl Chris wants to marry ,is not only his brother’s ex but that her father is the man who’s taken the fall for sending defective equipment, and that Larry is not just missing in action but that he committed suicide out of shame for what his father had done. After worshipping him all his life, the son even raises his hands to the father, which when it’s Burt Lancaster raising it to Edward G. Robinson, is really something to see: ‘You can be better’, he tells him, ‘Once and for all you know that the whole earth comes in through those fences. That there’s a universe outside and you’re responsible for it’. In the end the father realises that all those young airmen who died because he shipped defective equipment were also his children, thus the title, All My Sons.
The film might not be great cinema but it does offer the opportunity of seeing two great stars — Burt Lancaster and Edward G. Robinson — performing in one of the great plays of the era. The casting might at first seem incongruous: Burt Lancaster as Edward G. Robinson´s son? But movies have their own logic. They´re both movie stars and so they belong together, they share a consanguinity of stardom. Plus their differences in shapes and sizes also evoke something of the ideology of the era and the message of the play. The parents not too distant from the old country and the journey that brought them to America, building a base there so that the next generation can be safer, bigger, better, stronger; and then how that their focus rests so squarely on themselves and their immediate family blinds them to a larger community, to full citizenship and its inherent responsibilities.
I found passages in the film like the one above very moving. It´s the siren song of immigrant parents, the dream that gives their life strength, meaning and purpose. To hear a truly great actor like Edward G. Robinson say lines like this is, as you can see above, a thrill: ‘I want a clean start for you kid…I´m going to build you a house….I want you to use what I made for you …with joy not with shame. Sometimes I think you´re ashamed of the money…..Because it´s good money. There´s nothing wrong with that money´
Edward G. Robinson´s other aria, sparked by the moment when Burt Lancaster as the son begins to clock about his father´s actions on the line, ‘If you want to know ask Joe,’ I find unbearably moving, ‘Can´t you trust your own father? …. My own son…. Going behind my back’. The betrayal Joe feels, the hurt Chris knows he´s inflicting on someone he loves. The lashing out by the father. It´s familiarity crept up on me and its resonance moved me: ‘I don´t have to explain. Not to you. You´re my son. You´re in it with me. My flesh and blood. You wear my clothes. Eat My Food. You live in my home. I don´t have to explain to you. If I´m guilty, then you´re guilty too’. And of course, it´s a thematic pivot: Joe´s actions have also become Chris´s responsibility. His very father tells him so. And thus he must make his father answer.
Burt Lancaster here plays the juvenile role. The quiet, All-American, typical boy next door. But Chris has been to the war. He´s survived it. And he´s now in love and wants a future. And he feels guilty, probably about both surviving the war and having fallen in love with his brother´s girl. Lancaster well conveys the sensitivity of Chris, his love for his father and his mother, the slow dawning that his father and therefore he himself is also responsible for what happened. He doesn´t offer the nuances or the bravado that Edward G. Robinson does. In much of the movie, he represents rather than acts. But the scene where he jumps on his father, the violence of an action both of them would have found unimaginable a few weeks before, is truly frightening and heart-breaking.
It´s also another part he´d had to fight for. According to Burford, ‘Ignoring (Hal) Wallis´doubts and Erskine´s protests that signing him was ´like casting Boris Karloff as a baby sitter,’ Lancaster pushed hard for the untough guy loanout part of Chris…’I wanted to play Chris Keller,’ he told one reporter, ‘because he had the courage to make his father realize that he was just as responsible for the deaths of many servicemen as if he had murdered them’. Happy for the chance to portray ‘an average guy — a solid character with high standards,’ his own best dream of himself, he insisted that his choice was a step forward in the direction he, not any studio, had chosen. The overnight star that Universal called ‘the hottest thing in pictures’ was not acting like one. ‘(Burford, Kindle location 1466)
According to Christopher Bigsby in Arthur Miller, Miller himself derided the film, ´Watching the film forty years later, he found the result, starring Edward G. Robinson, a laughable melodrama that ought to be burned. His speeches had been re-written and all the subtleties blasted away(p.282)´ If so, he’s quite wrong. It’s not a great movie, but it’s a thrill to see great actors attack a great play like this. In the clip above, after Robinson has displayed his genius in the aria where he accepts responsibility it’s left up to Burt Lancaster to once more underline the theme of the play, the taking of responsibility : ‘It’s not enough to be sorry…you can be better….that’s there’s a universe outside and you’re responsible to i’ and then that great moment with the mother as she goes into the father’s room. It’s not a great movie. But I found the experience of watching it very moving.
The film is often described as a noir, which baffled me a bit. As you can see in the images there is noir lighting throughout, very effectively deployed, particularly in the scenes where Chris and Anne first kiss, their faces barely visible, the relationship haunted by the past and the actions of their parents, and there are more examples of that throughout the film (see examples below).
It didn´t seem to me too be a noir but I was perhaps stuck on it being an adaptation and overly focussing on noir in terms of recurrent techniques (though see examples of Russell Metty´s superb noir cinematography above) or narrative conventions (though there are flashbacks). However, if one focusses on thematic and atmospheric attributes one might come to a different conclusion. According to Robert Sklar in Movie-Made America, ‘the hallmark of film noir is its sense of people trapped — trapped in a web of paranoia and fear, unable to tell guilt from innocence, true identity from false (p.253) ‘. Thomas Schatz in Boom and Bust: Hollywood in the 1940s, notes that David Cook follows a similar tack, describing film noir as a ‘cinema of moral anxiety’ whose films thrived upon the unvarnished depiction of greed, lust, and cruelty because their basic theme was the depth of human depravity and the utterly unheroic nature of human beings.’ Cook notes that this style first emerged during the war but reached full maturity only with the paranoia, pessimism, and social angst of the postwar era(p.232).´
Seen that way, All My Sons is a noir. But more importantly, though not a great movie, it remains a great opportunity to see great actors perform in a great piece. I for one was surprised at how moving I found it.
José Arroyo
All My Sons (Irving Reis, USA, 1948) A film of Arthur Miller´s famous play that made me think about Pauline Kael's views on…
#adaptation#Arthur Miller#Burt Lancaster#Christopher Bigsby#Edward G. Robinson#film noir#Irving Reis#Louisa Horton#Mady Christians#Thomas Schatz
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Review: Bohemian Rhapsody
Bohemian Rhapsody – Review
Perhaps I should preface this review by admitting that I am a huge Queen nerd. Like, huge. For what reason, I don’t know – but since I really discovered their ‘Greatest Hits’ album in Munich one weekend in the mid 90s, I have joyfully immersed myself in their work and geeked out on the band’s utter pomposity and incredible musicianship. I mean, INCREDIBLE musicianship. It’s gotten to the point where I found the trailer for this film that showed the development of ‘We Will Rock You’ in the studio, my initial concern was that the timeline was all wrong, because Freddie didn’t have a mustache when they recorded that song. Yes, I’m that guy. And I’d apologise for it, but I can’t help it and I’m not that sorry either. Still, I figured that the soundtrack was bulletproof, and I’d heard all sorts of good things about Rami Malek’s performance, and so was keen to check out the film to see what it was like.
Throughout the film I was trying to figure out what the experience reminded me of. It’s sprawling, it’s stylistically all over the place, it takes massive liberties with the conventions of its genre, or it would if it could work out what genre it was trying to be, there are some emotional moments that land with real punch, some that land with a circus-esque plonk, but with a nod and a wink and some self-knowing camp, it ends strong and throughout it all there are some phenomenal performances, and the whole thing is held together by the eclectic genius and irrepressible charisma of the central figure. That’s when I realised…it’s like listening to a Queen album. Queen’s output, especially their best work in the 70s is absolutely ludicrous in places, but they just all seem to be in on the joke and it’s so wonderfully bonkers that it’s hard not to love it. The sheer scope and insanity of their early songs (and they are insane – what other band would put the gentle beauty of ‘Doin’ Alright’ alongside the utter pomposity of ‘Great King Rat’ next together on an album, or move from a thrash-metal-harpsichord-opera in ‘The March of the Black Queen’ to the bouncy throwaway charm of ‘Killer Queen’ in the space of a few months?) is the stuff that made them such a divisive band in their early days. Those who hated them did so with a real passion, and those who loved them fell for them completely. I imagine the audience for this film will feel much the same; I don’t think it’s a film that people will watch and feel indifferent towards.
What’s right with it? For starters, the cast is outstanding. Much has rightly been made of Rami Malek’s performance as Mercury, although as a long-time super nerd I feel that for all its brilliance, it’s still not as nuanced as the man himself was. There are few people who can claim the adjective ‘unique’ but Mercury was one of them. A true one-off with an astonishing ability to tame a crowd, a fantastically unpredictable mastery of songwriting and a voice that almost defies belief, Freddie Mercury was private and public, shy and insanely extroverted and outrageous, arrogant and insecure all in one go. So, playing him in film was always going to be a near-impossible task, but Malek does an excellent job with the arc he is given. Just like in the band’s musical history though, Malek needs the others around him to bring out the best he’s got. The other three members of Queen are genuinely fantastic and, just like in the band itself, their value to the whole should not be underestimated. The music, of course, is phenomenal. Queen were capable of some real dirge on their day (and the disco catastrophe of ‘Hot Space’ is conveniently overlooked here) but when they got it right, as they frequently did, it was so, so right. The energy of the live shows is captured well here, and despite some fairly clunky ‘lightbulb’ moments (John Deacon sitting down and happening upon the bassline to ‘Another One Bites the Dust’, or Mike Myers’ fairly naff ‘Wayne’s World’ shout) you do get a sense of what made the band so close and some of the trials of starting out with such a flamboyant and unusual style. Finally, the recreation of Live Aid is stunning in its accuracy and provides a hugely enjoyable ending to the film. Having said that, if you want to watch 25 minutes of Queen at Live Aid, I think this is the better version. However, it’s possible and indeed likely that because the end is so very good, people might walk away feeling like they’ve seen a better film than they actually have.
So, what’s wrong with it? Well, firstly the timeline of the band is absolutely dismantled for narrative convenience, which is fine for a feature film I suppose, but not terribly satisfying. Trying to condense a 20 year career into two hours is never going to be easy, but perhaps that’s a sign that they shouldn’t have done it. I think there are various chapters in Queen’s history that would have made for a fascinating deep dive, but that’s just me. So, much like any interview with the band themselves, we get lots of things covered, but not in an awful lot of depth. Queen were always masters of dodging and ducking around questions they didn’t like, and the surviving members have done a good job of presenting the story they want instead of (perhaps) the story that actually happened. There’s no real issue with saying that ‘We Will Rock You’ came out later than it did, or that they played in Detroit when actually they were in Denver, but the arc does hit some problems when it comes to setting up the film’s final act, which is built around Live Aid and Mercury’s AIDS diagnosis. The widely accepted story has always been that Mercury discovered he had AIDS sometime in 1987, and may have known he was HIV positive for some time before that, perhaps even contracting the disease as early as 1982, according to the excellent ‘Somebody To Love’ by Matt Richards which is as fascinating a documentary on the history of AIDS as it is a biography of Mercury. In any case, that timeline is bastardised for maximum emotional manipulation here, and that doesn’t sit well with me. Freddie’s hedonistic side has been severely diluted (although in fairness to the film-makers, I don’t think there’s a way to even get close to the sheer excess he put himself through without making the film unreleasable) but perhaps most glaring of all is the ‘one last gig’ aspect of the Live Aid story. In the film, the band have broken up, not spoken for months and not played together for years. Racked by the excesses of the rock and roll lifestyle, the band sluggishly restart their engines in rehearsals for Live Aid which is suddenly on their radar and needs to be practised to perfection. They cannot quite recapture their magic, and it’s only through the revelation that their iconic lead singer is battling the sands of time that they pull together to steal the show.
In truth, the band had no idea of Freddie’s illness until at least 1989, and Queen played Live Aid on July 13th, 1985 – just two months after concluding a 48-date world tour to support their latest album. Perhaps some of the juice had gone from the band’s inner dynamo, and there’s no doubting that ‘The Works’ is a fairly flat sounding album, and there’s also no doubt that Live Aid did a lot of good in repairing the band’s image after they played in apartheid-era South Africa during a musician’s boycott, but the idea that it was ‘years’ since they’d played together is just done for a kind of redemption narrative that didn’t exist. This takes the idea that whether this is the real life or just fantasy, nothing really matters, to an extreme I don’t care for. So for all its brilliance, that particular aspect will leave a bitter taste in the fans’ mouths, I suspect.
Mind you, all of this is a better narrative structure than Brian May’s original vision for the film which (according to original star Sasha Baron Cohen) detailed the band ‘going from strength to strength’ after Mercury’s untimely passing. Queen’s music may have sold a lot more since then, and May, Taylor and Deacon are almost certainly a lot wealthier, but the band that fans like me fell so heartily in love with died in November of 1991. Now we’re left with memories, and there are more fulfilling ones you can discover beyond the boundaries of this film, if you want them. If not though, this film is a perfectly decent way to spend a couple of hours. In 1978, Queen sang ‘we’ll breakfast at Tiffany’s/we’ll sing to you in Japanese/we’re only here to entertain you’ – and this film does a pretty solid job of making good on that promise.
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