#Sorry for all the edgy posting lol

[mickeys-onehalf]

Do yall have that one song that you try to avoid but if it were to ever come on you get absolutely zoned out and you have at least a 3-4 minutes recap of your life's choices and events and it jst kinda leaves you like

[anistarrae]

shadow bandee design i made awhile ago :D (jan 17th, 24)

i feel like mirror bandee would be very skilled without putting the effort in, getting where they are by power, instead of earning it through putting the work in. this would lead to them becoming over-confident and become the cause their biggest weakness. a friend pointed out this would mirror dedede in the beginning of the series too!

[swanmaids]

Some of these Takes… do some of yall even actually like the silmarillion?

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU

As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.

This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry

This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.

His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.

He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.

...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.

But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.

It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?

Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.

There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.

Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.

He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.

He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.

As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.

The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.

When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.

All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.

There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.

-----

UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)

But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style

Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)

Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

would it be okay if u told me why u like aoki😭/gen😭😭😭😭BEEN TRYNA LIKE HIM FOR SO LONG I JUST CANTT but i love ur art so much so i still consume it otherwise lol

i liked tohru adachi in high school and tbh i think that alone is enough of an explanation for why i ended up liking aoki

[toytulini]

act annoying on this post and ill block you ♡

everyone accusing black sails fans of Being Rude In The Notes owes me $10 for making me look in the notes (like. What. WHERE) and $10 more for subsequently making me witness the Stede fans also being unhinged petty assholes but it doesnt count when they do it, i guess?

at this point im saltier about Black Sails fans being repeatedly being called assholes but ofmd fans Not being called out for probably the same behavior or worse? and with what feels like very little. evidence? god damn

[spectrearia]

some random OC picrew stuff, haha. someone recently found an old post of mine on my archived blog where I used this particular picrew, so I felt like revisiting it with Khalan and Antony since they didn't exist at the time I made that original post!

got two variations on Ravenwood RP Khalan, as well as his edgy Hatif persona from Codename: IRIS. for Antony, I went with both his Primordial SMP version (struggled with the outfit, not super happy with it but i couldn't figure out how else to make it mimic his tunic/sash), and also his Ravenwood version :'0

if anyone wants to add onto this with their own OCs, feel free to do so! I can't say I've ever seen any OC-centric picrew posts, so maybe that'd be fun! :D

[storfulsten]

hey uh sorry for disappearing yet again for a couple months. don't have much of an excuse, though things have been more stressful than usual, offline life having involved family and hospitals and stuff, but not gonna go into any details, things are better now either way so ye. my way of coping with things have been mostly to just play games (ffxiv mainly, leveling alts and other grinding can be a good distraction sometimes) and nothing else to keep my mind off things, so haven't been able to focus enough to do much of any art at all. I am hoping to get back into the swing of things, I am back on my meds that I skipped out on for like a year due to various reasons, but they seem to be helping again so yeah, fingers crossed that things will work out and such ha

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

[bistaxx]

Controversial and possibly insane take... but

This pokemon is k!Luzu coded <3

[mainfaggot]

Oh also a girl in my spanish class who became my seat partner referred to something she dislikes as "so fucking gay" (derogatory)

[daisynik7]

when I tell you that we would absolutely RUN Jujutsu High

I'm lying, we definitely would not

[nerves-nebula]

Remembered Mikey dissociates and imagines up all sorts of fantastical stories and adventures in his head, not grounded in reality at all. And I was thinking about how I also did that as a kid, thus none of my art or stories related to my deeply suppressed trauma at all. Except I actually just now realized it definitely did, just in more subtle and hard to see ways. It was stuff like scenes accidentally paralleling all the running away from home plans I made, and deity and angel type characters being exactly what I wanted my parents to be (guiding and safe etc.)

Anyway, are there any sorts of weird consistent themes like that going on in ur Mikey’s daydreams?

dissociation as a term evades me at times. like, I actively and intentionally ignored my surroundings a lot as a kid, especially when things got bad. i'd just spend time thinking of my fantasy worlds and tweaking situations between characters and stuff. i could be snapped out of it, but it's also a reason that I can't remember a lot of my childhood lol. but like, is that dissociation? at the time i thought of it more as just "ignoring stuff" if i didn't want to listen to my siblings fighting or i was bored or tired or annoyed, i'd force myself to think about other stuff. and that other stuff was daydreams cuz its not like i had shit going on as a kid. it was a distraction and one i did on purpose.

though there was a thing called "shut down" which I would do to myself when i was under extreme stress and pressure, which was kind of a further step, and more akin to real dissociation. but also somewhat akin to autistic shutdown so idk. these things overlap.

uhh anyway i think what mikey does is more like the "ignoring stuff" thing. you could probably call it maladaptive daydreaming. that's probably what it was.

I mentioned in one of my earlier Neglected posts that he writes his stories down and has like, a long ongoing epic about him fighting what is obviously a stand in for his dad. I think at the time i said he did that on purpose but I think I'mma change that, because it'd be more likely he does it on accident. I also brought up a character he made called "pizza horse" who learns to love herself despite people calling her an abomination for being half pizza half horse.

i think a lot of Mikey's stuff has to do with people being appreciated for things that make them weird, or learning to love themselves or something. first of all cuz that's an easy and popular thing to write about but secondly because splinter thinks he sucks and is weird and stupid and Mikey. doesn't like that! he doesn't like that his dad thinks he's weird and stupid!! it hurts :D sad thing is that even if you decide to say Fuck The Man!! it won't mean u no longer care that your dad hates you :3

anyway sorry i keep rambling the answer is YEA. there are reappearing themes of like, evil guardians, or maybe princes who were stolen by evil people or thrown out into the rain as babies to die- who eventually reclaim all the praise and power they were supposed to have. Kids getting often killing or otherwise "defeating" the people who abused/bullied/hurt them. typical abused kid power fantasy stuff.

I think there's probably a few edgy oc's in there too, like, shadow the hedgehog type edgy. like black and red with glowing eyes and half angel half demon and they end up killing the evil king who keeps them in the dungeon and beats them daily. and there's blood everywhere.

ok i started rambling again about something else under the cut uhhhh sorry its not relevant to ur ask at all asdfsadf

i like the idea of Mikey snapping at Leo, Donnie, and Raph later on cuz he was the first one to realize splinter sucks and they just kind of didn't listen to him for years haha. I like to think about them sitting in like a gay ass therapy circle or something talking about their feelings and mikey thinking.... "isn't this what I wanted? they all agree with me now. We don't live with splinter anymore. It's great. they're even talking about their feelings and trauma... why am i like. kind of angry."

it's something along the lines of him getting annoyed that they all wanted sympathy and companionship and brotherhood now that they realized Splinter is awful but when MIKEY was the only one saying Splinter Sucks nobody listened. Because they believed splinter when he told them Mikey was stupid. Because as poorly as splinter treated them, at least they were all worth something to him in some way.

Like, they all believed Splinter was an Ok Dad because they had stake in believing that. They didn't want to think their dad was awful, of course, but they also had stake in their identities as the favorite (leo), as someone who was making a meaningful contribution (raph), or as helpful towards someone/something good (donnie) and if Splinter turned out to not be worth all that effort- then that'd mean they all suffered for NOTHING.

but Mikey didn't get that. The identity splinter gave him was Useless, Stupid, Annoying one who wasn't as good as his brothers at anything important. And in Mikeys mind (though the reality is more complex), his siblings didn't care enough about him for the way splinter treated him to be seen as an indictment of splinters character. saying "splinter is a bad dad cuz he says i'm stupid" gets met with "but you are stupid tho." and "splinter is a bad dad because he starves me" gets met with "omg mikey you're not special we're all hungry stop whining"

and now they all want to whine about how bad things were??? AND THE WORST PART OF IT is that a lot of the time Mikey doesn't feel like he as a right to complain- i mean they were all doing way worse than him, right? they're sharing all these horrible stories! Donnie was in mental health hell and constantly getting groomed by ppl, Leo was getting sexually abused constantly and had all these secret rules and expectations, and raph had a hand in both mental health hell and sexual abuse AND he had a ton of responsibility when it came to their houses upkeep. Mikey got ignored and belittled but, like!! so what!! that's nothing compared to them.

but it still hurts :D growing up knowing you were in no uncertain terms that your dad thinks you're untalented and wishes he didn't have to deal with you.

Donnie got to be the weird but ultimately useful prodigy, Raph got to be the strongest, Leo got to be the leader, and Mikey got to be a joke.

[edennill]

If Tolkien characters had Tumblr blogs part 2:

part 1

Finduilas:

url: waitingtothewind

pfp: drawing of a fictional crush in pastel colours (babygirl fulfills her royal duty to exercise patronage over artists by comissioning reams of fanart lol)

bio: ✧˖･* princess finduilas of nargothrond :) ✧˖･* 47 ✧˖･* poetry appreciator ✧˖･* romantic at heart ✧˖･* girl of many fandoms ✧˖･* favourite animal: doggos ✧˖･* favourite food: strawberry juice ✧˖･* and if I had a voice that could make mountains melt I would walk over stars just to see how it felt ✧˖･*

title: ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

has a very pink custom theme with a fancy font. runs a fandom/aesthetic blog and stays clear of discourse. writes really good meta that is quite popular and poems that get notes in the single digits. doesn't really know how to deal with anon hate. participates in every tag game she comes across.

Maeglin:

url: keeps changing it between @molelol and @twilitdark because he likes small animals, but wants to sound edgy.

pfp: keeps changing it between a baby mole and the kind of very dark photo where you can't really see what it's supposed to be.

bio: M / not a minor

title: the dark under the trees

guards his personal info incredibly closely (a good practice, but how much of it is due to his father having been so controlling that he learned secrecy early on is up for discussion). rarely posts, mostly reblogs photos and shitposts. vaguely vents about his idril/tuor/gondolin/treason problems. when he gets into discussions with people he can be uncomfortably fierce, has sent anon hate on occasion.

Celebrimbor:

url: craftingsilver

pfp: red eight pointed star (default variation, not technically fëanorian) on yellow background

bio: older/younger than you think | look I've seen the Trees that's enough | Noldorin jewelsmith | male

title: time and soul, wrought and tempered

mostly posts and reblogs crafting tiktoks and tips, sometimes adds a dash of science, philosophy or something personal. has made a resolution to filter out any posts pertaining to his family on his dashboard and keeps to it almost till the end. shows a strong sense of humour and has gathered quite a following.

Idril:

url: celebrin-does-things

pfp: blurred photo of her with her back to the camera

bio: 500s - architect, wife and mother - everyone is welcome

title: "ammë, there's winter in my boots"

started off as a miscellaneous blog, but shifted to being mostly about Eärendil's shenanigans. she vaguely vents about maeglin/gondolin/cousin's treason sometimes, but still comes off as way more laid back than irl. hardly used her tumblr before her son was born and still treats it mostly as a place to document things he has said + a way to talk with like three treasured mutuals. the architect part in bio is mostly a ruse because she has only ever completed one or two projects but can hardly reveal she's a princess, can she? (before the fall of nargothrond if she got on tumblr it was to nag Finduilas to remove her personal info from bio hah)

@eri-pl, this is in part because you asked (a while ago, sorry), though I'm afraid I don't have much to say about all your suggestions. I prefer not to get into Sauron's headspace actually, but the idea of him having access to social media is horrifying lol. And Pharazon has all the worst characteristics of Reddit atheists, non-ironic modern white supremacists and racist trolls rolled into one with the added horror of the new unsavoury state cult. Míriel is not allowed a sim card🙁😬

also I'm just now realising I tagged a compatriot in something I wrote at 3 am so if you have time stamps on you now know my messed up sleep schedule and if you don't I've just told you lol but never mind.

[meanbossart]

Misc. Ask compilation

These aren't all of the asks I want to reply to, just some that I can answer relatively quickly to clean the ol' inbox out before things get out of hand. Thanks for your patience!

HAHAHA THANK YOU FOR PERUSING AROUND and for enjoying my work! I had a... Weird Gale experience my first playthrough which led to his characterization being what it is in my comics. Here's the beat-by-beat of all the shenanigans: https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740827466716807168/alright-i-am-like-90-sure-there-is-one-line-in-a

And here's just some of my personal thoughts on him! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/736193145686114305/can-you-tell-me-more-about-how-you-would-make-gale

I would be lying if I said I'm not conflicted to know my style still bears some remnants of my edgy teen roots (not your fault not noticing it though, you aren't the first and won't be the last) BUT... That comic did mean a lot to me as a youth, so I guess I should be proud 🤷 and honestly it is a little cool that such a thing would survive for so long in what I do, crazy how that works.

LMAO, re: the bottom/top debacle, I was honestly so surprised to see people react to it like it's something novel. If I ever expected to get any push back on the matter, I thought it would be from people assuming DU drow was the top and taking issue with how violent and big he is (and yknow, some people are weirdly protective of Astarion as if he isn't a sneaky murder machine rippling with lean muscle)

Very disheartening to see that mindset still so alive and well among young people, but I guess it just means I gotta draw DU drow throwing more back and Astarion drooling over more ass until the stereotype is forcefully banished out of people's minds!

(more asks below the cut)

"Sleeper agent activation phrase" absolutely took me out, Thank you so much LOL

YEAH I got it pretty late though, Astarion had already told my durge that he was a vampire of his own accord (and the response was, of course, "no duh") I forgot wheter this happened before or after the first romance scene triggered, but I think after.

Since this was after DU drow decided he was gonna fuck him out of pure contrarian spite and was shamelessly laying it extremely thick, He happilly let Astarion drink his blood. Hell, he was probably a little Too Eager - the guy likes pain and he likes letting people he trusts do with his body whatever they will, and while he didn't yet trust Astarion at that point, that event might've very well reminded him of something from his past that planted a seed which would eventually grow into his genuine affection for the guy.

Ah, he definitely got a half-chub as it happened too. I'm sure Astarion noticed it and just walked off rolling his eyes and thinking "eugh of course" lmao.

Hello!!!

Oh man, I grew up fascinated with horror things. I remember from a very young age just looking at the covers and backs of horror movies at the film-rental even though I wasn't allowed to watch them. I was also easily scared but I sought those things out anyway - I think i just enjoyed the visceral reactions it drew out of me and was always curious about most things taboo.

When I got access to the internet that just opened a (very unfortunate) door to all things vile and awful like it did for so many people at that age in time. Though my tastes have changed a lot since then (Less August Underground, more The Devils kind of guy nowadays) my stories and art are just always going to fall into a horror-y category because I just... Don't think there's many better ways to showcase the human experience and emotional range without many of the elements native to the genre, and I'm all about that.

Thank you for your question and your sweet words, have a good week yourself!

I did a little write-up about that over here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/742508493562593280/i-dont-have-a-particular-question-in-mind-sorry

That's the result of a scene that happens relatively early in the story I'm writing ("A Novel Experience" on Ao3).

{SPOILERS} DU drow accidentally passes out on a blade which puts a relatively deep gash on his hip. Meanwhile, Astarion is weakened and starved after certain events that transpired the prior night. They have a private exchange both in a somewhat hazy-state of mind and Astarion ends up prodding and prying at his wound while feeding, so it's a laceration and bite mark that just scarred over badly.

Elves apparently don't grow body hair so never LOL guess they'll just have to slip&slide up on each other for heat

[mysticmermaid108]

Look, I don’t know WHERE ya’ll are getting this whole “Dib is a depressed emo who’s edgy and outcast”. That’s not the vibe I get from him at ALL. I see him as the more “smart awkward nerd” kinda character, similar to Dipper from Gravity Falls. Idk, it’s just so weird seeing people read a character SO badly 😂

Edit: well, I seemed to have angered my favorite fandom. IM SORRY-

*ehem*

I didn’t mean to make everyone upset lol. I kinda meant ETF DIB and not really Series Dib. Series Dib is a bit more messed up, and even though I don’t view him as goth or emo, a lot of other people have solid reasoning why they do, and I can see it. But I mean more ETF Dib, where he’s more put together and not as, ya know…edgy.

Again, apologies, and I’m sorry if I ruined everyone’s day 😂 reading an entire essay of a post about Dib’s crumbling mental state was interesting tho-