#Sorry about that but it seems i really will have to abandon this blog due to real life taking priorities

[acgames]

Starting to realise that my artistic days might as well be over due to real life...

[suguru-getos]

| Bully! Gojo Satoru x F!Reader | Part 5 |

Part: 4 / 3 / 2 / 1

Summary: You had just transferred schools, and your first day was an encounter with your new bully. He’s mean, terrifically hot & absolutely a menace. Though there’s more to that personna

Chapter Summary: After doing your much needed due-diligence with Satoru, he’s backed you up against the wall in the school corridor again. Things are a little… different however.

Warnings and A/N: For a change we have no such warnings here :3 Just Satoru Gojo sama 🙇🏻‍♀️ getting a little in his senses and grieving when the Reader-chan opens up a little. <3 Angst? Yeah.

Taglist: @mc-reborn @tvdumarvelhpsimp @alula394 @getoxmahito @knanamii @he4rts444mi @localginger22 @animeisforkings @ran6ia @creative1writings @lenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa @nerdiel-has-no-braincells @zoemaelol @shoutascoffeepot @whydohumansss @nyahctrl @a-trashbag @yoontaedotin @tojisworm-5 @mo0nforme @luciledreamz @camilo-uwu @sassyfoxunknown @bitchyinternetinfluencer @bakananya @mizzowizzo @k1y0yo @bl0odycutz @daidaiseam-blog @flirtyjen @jihyuniepark @stupiditystaar @lu-lynds @aymasakusa @creative1writings @roscpctals99 @eravariety @nanananananaiknow @b4tm4nn @milkm4nz @millimacis @bubera974 @ranhanabi777 @bleachisfood @thealphagirl @pinkprincessglitterzombie @tojisslxtt @chilichopsticks @deegausserr @tremendousdinosaurpizza @shittyhair234 @trisharay13 @luvvmae @tremendousdinasourpizza @stuckinaoaktree @ropickle @onlywaytobesane @mayumemehhh @lovernatashaa @rott3npoetry @ilovebattinson @qxdlx2 @herelegancy @megumisthirdog @k-sv @lyah17 @roscpctals99 @polarbvnny @eyes-ofhell @kazuahhh @theitchbbbb @millimacis @victoria1616

Can’t add more people in the taglist I’m sorry, it’s throwing me an error that I can’t add more than 50 users. If anyone has a workaround for this please 🙏🏻 please let me know. 🫡🩵🥰 Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated! 🙇🏻‍♀️✨

"Can I please have some money." You want to recoil and kill yourself right now. The scrutinizing gaze of your mother is like leech on your skin, itching your core. You don't like this, but after what you had done today in the cafeteria; you really want to get this over with. There are still flashes of Satoru's face in front of your eyes. He looked devastatingly beautiful with those bangs drenched with water. Pale skin reddening at the coldness of the water. He looked so harmless. So… human. The way he extended his hand to you, he didn't seem like he had any malice or could ever harbour any.

"For what?" Your mum asked casually, "We have given you enough money to be comfortable, Sweetheart. I don't see the point." She dismissed, sighing at you. She couldn't care less about you suddenly being a tad too needy over finances.

You expected this, which is why your lips are unable to part in resistance. You open your mouth in false hopes that a sentence will come to aid you, against your mother, against Satoru Gojo. It doesn't.

She has given birth to you, you'd like to be in the disbelief that she can't see the stress in your face. You get up, "That's fine, nothing important actually." Your shoulders droop in defeat. You don't want to be mistreated, called irresponsible, told that you should be careful, less egotistical, more bendable to people's wills, told to tone yourself down, to mellow your aura, to water yourself down…

"What is it, Y/N?" She called your name softly, "haven't seen you go and attend Kickboxing classes either. Want to do something else? You always pick up new things and abandon old ones. No discipline- no consistency-" normally, you're professional in letting her words linger through one ear and part from the other. Not today.

"Yeah, thanks for being so appreciative. Love that for me." Ignoring the chastising replies, you stomped to your room. Yeah, you can't be free of Gojo Satoru so easily. You can't even hope to fathom what he will do with you tomorrow in school.

---

Meanwhile, Satoru's not changed his shirt, even after returning from school, sitting in his room and replaying back your words and your actions over and over like a tape he wouldn't get sick of, even if he tried his best. Lips parted and huffing. He's hurt. His ego is bruised but his heart doesn't feel okay after watching the repercussions of the damage done to you either. Part of him feels rightly treated, now you wouldn't see him with that petrifying look of disgust he hates. His hands slump over his face as he leaned his back over his California king sized bed, sighing in dishevelled breaths. Truth is, yes he collided against you in the cafeteria after all this began. Yes he did purposely and you called him out for it in front of everyone. Someone who is calling The Gojo Satoru accusingly was hard to digest. Be like other people and apologize, or even better, act grateful that he talked to you. No, you didn't do that. You were fierce and stern, you were like burning coal, warm… capable of burning when held the wrong way.

He still feels better than the nonchalance you presented him with when he abided you in a contract. That wasn't the you he hoped to meet, he hoped to meet the 'you' he met today in the cafeteria. The 'you' who holds the guts to obliterate him and anyone else when angered. The 'you' who isn't scared of things like financial status, powers, influence.

He likes you so much.

He likes you so much…

He likes you so, so much…

It's sickening, his heart pangs at the way the subtle hints from his mind about having a crush on you are now intensely, brutalizing storms he can't ignore. The only revolting thought that curdled his brain was how he would like to kiss you. Maybe he should have bullied you like that - that way, at least, partly, it would feel good to you and would have given him a safe bet to reach out to you later. Even right now, all he can imagine is his long, thick, looming fingers wrapped around your waist, pressing you plush against him, rendering you immobile. How great would the then-faint scent of your perfume would now intensify when you're in his hold. How good would it feel to taste you on his tongue, to feel you crumble and to…

To trust him enough to crumble…

Suguru was right, what an stupid thing to do. He couldn't give up, you didn't give up. Now he's forced to see through his mess he wishes to pretend never existed.

Would grovelling help?

What about the copious amounts of unhealthy egoism he wears?

Fuck that… would you forgive him even after he bore his heart out to you? It would be worse than getting physically naked. Satoru Gojo can't take rejection. Even more than that, he can't take being vulnerable in front of anyone. Vulnerability is sacred, and Satoru isn't sure there's anyone worthy enough to carry his weakness and still shielding his ego. Maybe he should try… the worse you can do is reject him and his company. As if he's not making an exquisite pathway for it since the very beginning.

His thoughts are making him insane, they are making him lose his grip on his mind.

Which is why, you both are here. Satoru's had you pinned against the wall in school the next day, the same way this all started. You're struggling and wiggling to no avail. Panting heavily. "Please- stop it!" You whimper out, gasping out when his eyes land on you in a sternly arrogant manner. Why do you hate him so much god damn! Oh wait, he knows…

"I'm not going to hurt you or manhandle you or be an asshole. Just here to talk, hard to believe right?" He smirked, looking at you in a little tender undertone now that you're eyeing him curiously. You pouted, gnawing at your lip. "I don't believe you, especially after what I did yesterday. It was water though! You can't really get marks from water! I don't owe you any money."

Gosh you are hilarious without even trying, he leans back a little. Having no sense of personal space anyway.

"I don’t want the money. Okay? I thought that you would have a month to… get to know me and to talk to me." He pouts, sighing. It's so hard to suddenly talk to you after being an ass. You don't trust him anyway. It's visible with the way you look at him, trying to dig any ulterior motives.

"So what you just needed your ass kicked to stop?" Gosh your mouth…

"I'm being nice, little bitch. The moment you realize you don't have to pay me back your tongue is back to dancin' around shitty words, eh?" Satoru grips your face with his hand, sneering a little with an amused grin.

You roll your eyes, "not scared of you since day one." You half-lie. He does… intimidate you. You wouldn't admit it though. He has made you cry, he has made you miserable. You are not going to let it slide so easily anyway.

"Uh huh, I know." He leans back, embracing the weird and awkward silence that accompanies you both. You nibble at your lip and look down, "Look, if you don't want the money. We don't have any reason to talk to each other." You tried to sound as nice as possible.

Technically, you both do not have any reason anyways. Which is why Satoru came up with this ego-inflating scheme. Now that he's officially decided after much contemplation to hook you off. He can't shove you back in. He looks at you like a kicked pup. Something you haven't seen in his eyes. He was always controlling you, tossing you around.

"There's no reason to, unless… you'd like to tolerate me." He grins wide.

"I'd not like that." You smile. Bouldering over him with your words.

"Well… alright."

Satoru walks away, he can't really do anything about it. You just rejected the possibility of a conversation, let alone entertain the idea to have him close to you. After a few steps, he comes back stomping & you almost cower beneath him.

"I.. well, I- may have been, an asshole."

To be honest, you have no idea what he means suddenly and what does he want. He is emotionally stunted and somehow lacks the comprehension of anything else except what he wants. "May have?" You raised a brow in disbelief, what does he mean by 'May have'?

You grit your teeth, "I've cried myself to sleep twice because of you, I dreaded going to school, I wanted to give up and change my school, I wanted to ask you why are you so mean to me? I wrote things a thousand times as asked for you to 'review' as you said cause I talked to Geto san!" You winced, the memories are hurtful and scathe you badly. It aches. What you tolerated was essentially for nothing! It hurts. FUCK IT HURTS.

Satoru looked stunned as well, you have been appearing so normal he could never believe you were impacted. Which is why he was only trying harder… oh no. "I wished to be as rich as you so I could have ended this then and there and wouldn't get blackmailed." You sighed, and that sentence makes him fall into decay.

"Well, if you could have just-" his voice is meek and submissive and you're quick to cut it down.

"Could have just what Gojo san? Apologized for something I never did? You're going to give me that I collided against you by my own mistake when it was 'you' who did that purposely and kicked me for raising questions on it? Then proceeded to make my life hell because I didn't back down? Could have what? I could have begged you to be merciful like a caged prisoner? Asked you to show me some kindness for something I didn't even do?"

Oh will you stop? Will you please stop? Satoru can't take this, every sentence feels like a deep gash on his heart. His throat feels hoarse and there's a rock hindering his speech. He just- did it- without thinking so much upon it. Satiating his ego and getting a rise out of your little reactions. God he wants to undo this so bad.

How can he undo this? He can't…

"I- uh- I'm sorry." He finally manages to croak out a small mouthed apology. Though he means every word of it even if he knows that wouldn't do anything.

"You should be."

[factual-fantasy]

29 asks! Thank you!! :))) 🛝

@skatermusic

Oh boy.. dare I even look.. 😅💀

@holly-opal

AAAAAA THANK YOUUU!!!! :DDDD

@anikakitty11

Oo! It all looks so yummy! 😋😋😋

@cat7890

Unfortunately due to my poor health, I'm unable to work on it atm.. hopefully I can get back to it someday! <:)

Oooo!! I'm surprised by the tender hearted motive! Perhaps I should give this game a look.. 👀👀

I have actually never heard of this challenge-- so yeah, I have nothing planned for it <XD

A little yeah :00 Everyone is almost exactly what you'd think they'd look like <XD Barnacles has white hair, Kwazii has orange hair, Peso has black hair.. etc.

@artistiemi

Its fiiiiine <XDD

@mahlifeissad

ooo :00 Sounds tasty! Thank you for the recipe! :))

They're intended to be there yeah. But I STILL. HAVE NOT PLAYED THE GAME. 💀 So I don't know any of the games lore and how to incorporate them into my story- <XDDD

XD Emmet has a few strong words for Arceus..

@uallstupid

Woah.. who is that guy? Is he actually a cyborg?? :00

XD I get that comment a lot actually- and I take no offence! I see the resemblance! XDD

@skatermusic

<XD Silly Barnacles!

(In response to this post)

And there's likely more where that came from!! :DDD

@chromchill (In response to this post)

Haha! XDD I'm afraid :))

@beryl-shade

I've seen 8-BitRyan play it. I like the concept and the RUIN like style it seems to have.. though I'm not a huge fan of how the animatronics/characters look in game..

I'd like them to be bigger. And either clearly fully animatronic or fully living animal. They some how look kiiind'a somewhere in between..? <:0

@justvibinginvoid (Referencing this post)

XDD Well as I get further into the show, more fanart from me is likely! :)) I'm glad you liked it!! :DDD

@gizmos-n-gadgets

Its been a while since I made their designs so I don't remember much.. but I think I tool a lot of inso from Navy/Marine/ocean?? Military?? Uniforms <XDD

Oooo :0 sounds like a slick tool! Thanks for telling me about it! :)

(In response to this post)

NOOO NOT BEAKER TOO XDDD (I assume you meant Beaker-)

@emmetest (In response to this post)

XDD They're still dealing with Kermit!!

(In response to this post)

I'd be lying if it didn't seriously discourage me at first.. but then everyone rushing to support me reminded me why I post here in the first place. :))

I'm so honored to hear that my artwork helps you through your depressive times. That make's two of us! XDD I hope to keep posting for people like you that really benefit from it <:))) thank you so much and I wish you well 💞💖💞💞

@untitled-7613

😔

(In response to this post)

You know? With how long I've been ill for.. the thought of trying to sell stickers or some kind of merch has crossed my mind more than once..

@tallchest13-blog

XD There ARE humans in their world for sure. Though they don't have a trainer. It felt weird to kind'a.. insert myself into the world..? Or someone that was meant to take my place.. And I like that with the absence of a trainer, Gloria is the leader of the group and everyone looks to her for guidance. :)

They mostly just travel from place to place. Staying away from humans due to their recent attempts to catch Anastasia.. Sleeping in caves or abandoned structures.. looking for food and sparring with each other. Just living life :))

And I am 3 days late to respond to this <XDD

<XDDD I'm sorry- but who are Bingus and dent?? XDD

@hershelwidget

AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DD IM SO GLAD TO HEAR THAT IM YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST AND THAT YOU'VE GOTTEN BACK INTO PIXEL ART BECAUSE OF MEEEE 😭😭💞💖😭💞

@stupid-thatsme (Post in question)

Thank you!! Though I'm not sure I understand the question.. <XD But I have a comic I'm thinking about making that shows how Grimace mega evolved! :DD

[snarkylinda]

I’m very glad you’re talking about spencer being parentified because it feels like people sometimes gloss over it a bit? or maybe I’m just looking in the wrong places. if this isn’t something you do in you’re blog feel free to just. not respond but do you have any more thoughts or. idk headcanons on how that might have affected him as an adult?

Hi anon! To be honest I have no idea what is essentially discussed alot on the fandom other that a tiny fraction of it I expose myself to because 1#I am too tired and old to deal with fandom discourse about my blorbo, and based on my previous experience with fandoms I KNOW that the most popular the character, the bigger the discourse so haha no- 2# I joined in late lmao literally a couple of months ago, so I am super out of the loop just screaming to the void in desperate needs for someone to scream back 🤲🏼 do this kind of asks actually made me so happy agahagaha 🥰🥰 Buckle up bois this is LONG-

Ok now to those that might come across this and ask themselves what the hell does being parentified means, it's a broad term used for the phenomenon of (at best) a child sharing parental responsibilities due to x circumstance, or (at worst) downright having the parent/child dynamic completely swapped, with the child being the caretaker for the parent and household. You don't have to know deep CM lore knowledge to realize the latter is Spencer Reid to a T. Hell, they aren't even subtle about it lmao:

Btw parentification is often mixed in with abandonment and while they share the "child being forced to grown up" too quickly, the former is often distinguished by the fact that, more often that not as is this case, the parent still cares for them but are unable to do so how it should be (tho there are several cases where parentefication is an part of willing neglect, sadly) and added to the fact that they have to look after themselves- they have to look after another.

This is a really complicated, broad topic and I just mentioned this to go full disclaimer and that I don't blame Diana at all for how messed her son ended up since she can't help it- and to make a joke about how Spencer was abandoned and parentified. Also harassed. Guys he wasn't even 18-

Anyways but back to your question, how do I think that affected Spencer growing up....well in everything basically lmao

But I will take on two instances that had stood up to me the most: emotional management and hiding secrets.

The second one is easier: you would catch this man dead before he vents to you over something other than his shitty dad (that I find very funny tbh) and when he does is because he is at his limit and about to fucking cry.

Now don't get me wrong: we all are entiltde to our privacy. These are grown ass adults and they have lives outside of their working circle....

Right?

Haha we have an problem-

So yeah, Spencer kind of actually needs to rely on his co-workers because he has literally nobody else to rely on-

And yet

Oh here is the thing- Spencer is one polite boi but he is also blunt, if he doesn't want someone on his business he says so (look back when Alex discovered him and Maeve) this is literally "I wanted to tell you but I feel like I shouldn't"- this is not season 1 mind you, this is season 11, and yet here he was one of his oldest friends literally grabbing him by the arm and having to tell him it's never a bother- I am the only one fucking crying at this?

Excuses seems to come to Spencer like it's second nature- "sorry a tube on my apparment broke" "Oh I....I tripped!" "There was a lot of traffic so..." "I was watching an movie" and I am not am expert on USA's history or some shit, but Child Protection Services had been a thing since at least the 60s, so I don't think that a 10yo living alone with his mentally ill mother would have flown well- you get the idea.

I think this scene summarizes the whole thing perfectly

Get it? it's irony. (I love how Spencer is about to say something like dismissive "thank you" but because this shit hit too close to home to comfort he just gave a polite smile and walked away. That silence was LOUD) Because Spencer had always had done the former but the latter er.... :D

And it's not only when it concern Diane btw, any problem whatsoever Spencer would rather lock himself up (literally lmao) that sit down and talk about it- it's only when his bs is exposed and he can't refutage (like that little scene after Gideon's death when Rossi asks him if he had been there all night- he points out the fact he is wearing the same cardigan as the day before) that he opens up....or he runs away, which leads me to the second big point that I think shows how much Parentification fucked him up:

Spencer has the emotional maturity of a teenager.

I talk about this literally all the time so I'll be shorter lmao basically Spencer... has an issue- ok he has lot of issues- and that is the way he dislikes direct confrontation, so whenever he is hurt or angry he would rather be dismissive and passive-agressive that talk it out with the person- even going as far as turning away and storming out of the room.

(Here is the part where I put the screencaps but him storming off would be out of focus so lmao er.... Elephant Memory, Memoriam, Proof, a little part in 15x2 and The Gathering)

Now... I do think that a grown-ass man doing this shit is hilarious, like I love Spencer's bratty side so much lmao but it's an clear sign of someone that never learned how to deal with his emotions on a healthy way, someone that 6 out of 7 days of the week had to interiorize everything in and because of that holds on so much....resement, so much repressed anger but also without an stable force on his life to help him manage that- so we are left with an teenager trapped in an adult's body, loss at how to handle shit like he always did.

....And want to know the worst part about an Parentified boy onto adulthood?

That they don't know better.

[insufferable-homestuck]

wow!!!! this classpecting assigning thing you do seems so cool!!! ive taken some quizzes and *think* i might be a prince of space but its always good to get peoples assessments on you personally rather then relying on unknowing and unloving machines! I can dm you also if you think checking out my blog would be helpful! :) 

Some things about me

Autism (i know, i'm so cool) Very interested in creative subjects (music, art, acting) An extrovert! But a shy one?? Like i get energy from talking with people and get iffy if i haven't seen or spoken to someone i like in a while, but also i hate meeting new people and events drain me so much that i have to recharge by talking to people online, but usually its by talking not just doomscrolling sort of? AWFUL at arguments, even at joke ones, i’ll always get stuck in my head and run out of comebacks and sit there appalled thinking of how to come back from my cringe fail behaviour I’m extremely forgiving of people I'm close with, even if they anger me, I'll never really blame them for much? At least not outwardly, might be fear of abandonment idk shrug

Ummm AWFUL at romance, gets stuck in my own head about if someone would like me or not and then never makes a move ever ever ever and just stays close friends with that person and it usually works out (curse my wrenching heart!)

Treads the line between being annoying fr and being too self conscious about being annoying when people assure me i'm fine (But i'm being fr when i say sometimes i'm a pain in the ass!!) Not very confrontational? At least not alone, usually ill go and try to get someones help to back me up (due to sucking at arguments) Hyper empathy, i feel such a connection to objects and inanimate things, like i have cried about leaving soft toys behind AT MY AGE because i feel as if no one  will come and get them. 

Very silly (this is pertinent!)

Will probably not get along with someone for long unless we have 1 shared interest or an interest that is 1 degree of separation from each other (like i'm not into genshin at all but genshin fans will at least understand what i mean when im talking about sopping wet meow meow troll or whatever)

Cat person, not a dog person, but more golden retriever coded then black cat coded

CRACKED AT GAMING

That's about it if you want more info like i said i am HAPPY to give more this is like when you go to a psychic and they read your palm or go to your childhood therapist and they give you like a 69 on your depression quiz and that's after you lied on it cuz your mum was in the room.

how's it hanging nepeta lalonde?

i appreciate the obscure amount of text, and your willingness to go as far as let me view thine blog for the sake of classpecting, buuuut all your listed traits did not make this easy at all! everything you've said contradicts itself in some way when it comes to classpecting! which is to be expected of course, you can't throw a magical label at a real, multifaceted, person and expected to stick like it would to a comic character, but yeesh

You call yourself a prince of space but you're interested in creative subjects, the prince part of that classpect becomes confusing!

You experience huge amounts of empathy but you're bad at romance, heart players usually don't swing both ways at that

if a heart player you're sure twisting the meaning of heart around! i hand you witch

and you don't seem like a prince of space to me, sorry, i know that classpect all too well, but i WILL give you rogue of void!

you're just a shy sweetie bless your heart

[sickestprettyboy]

Forgive me if said questions are a bit insensitive, I am just a bit curious as to what your blog is about. So for context, I discovered your blog through a hashtag that I always visit. And I saw your get to know me post (answering another anon’s question). And within that post you mentioned how you are an actual ‘yandere’ (and how how bpd, bipolar, and histronic personality disorder leads you to that, for anyone confused scroll down to the get to know me post). My question is how does all of that affect you in the real world (as in day to day, when trying to build friendships, actual real life relationships)? Do you find more acceptance online?

I personally found it to be a bit out of place in the sense that the hashtags I lurk and mostly female writers and not male (let alone someone who says they are ‘yandere’). Not saying that’s a bad thing of course, but a guy writer is a bit of rare thing for me to find as I read fiction about as to what you write (not sure if that made sense). (What are your thoughts on this).

some fun questions: are you in college/university? What are you studying/ hope to be career wise? And if you have a celebrity look a like who do you think people say you look like the most?

Sorry for the long post, you don’t have to answer anything at all, and quite literally this is my first ever anon post on tumbler! - 😐 anon

No need to apologize, Darling! I'm happy to answer any questions you may have. I have been asleep though, so my apologies for getting to you so late....

As far as BPD, Bipolar, and Histrionic Personality Disorder goes, yes it's definitely a recipe for disaster.

Looking at symptoms of these cluster disorders, I feel as though it may make sense:

Histronic Personality Disorder symptoms I have:

• Being easily influenced/gullible, especially by the person I like. I have awareness at times, but I usually ignore it.

• Having difficulty maintaining friendships, as I may appear unrealistic or shallow in my interactions with 'friends'.

• Needing constant approval and reassurance.

• Feeling as if I'm worthless if I'm not receiving any attention.

• Rapidly shifting emotions

Borderline Personality symptoms I have:

• Impulsive behaviors which vary from different situations. I am not a fighter or aggressive most of the time. But I have an issue with reckless driving, and being into "unsafe sexual activities"

• Repeated Self-Harm. I still do this, though it isn't out of being upset. I genuinely enjoy the pain and watching myself bleed. I often feel as though I'm not real and scratching, burning or cutting myself seems to help with that. I don't condone this for anyone, but I still love the feeling.

• Temporary paranoid/intrusive thoughts. I struggle with this pretty bad. It's a type of dissociative episode. I'll just stand still/stare into space and have an internal battle between urges and consequences.

• Fear of abandonment as that is quite literally my BIGGEST FEAR. I don't want to be alone. I don't think I could survive...

Bipolar 1 symptoms I have:

• Manic episodes, I'm still becoming aware of these and I don't quite know how to express them yet.

• Psychosis. I experience more delusions rather than hallucinations. Though I wouldn't exactly call myself delusional 😔

• Mood swings. I really don't get angry much. Most of my mood swings consist of being chirpy, then distant and sulky. Very few times have I actually gotten angry- angry. I'm mostly frustrated because I still can't seem to express myself how I want.

To answer your question, yes. I have extreme issues with having any sort of relationship/friendship. I can't seem to get a grip and I attach myself to certain people really quickly which... They don't like. I'm quite a clingy individual. I'm always needing to show myself off for the people I care for. All of my relationships have been cut short, due to me. I'd like to believe they simply didn't understand me and though that was some of the reason, most of it was because my symptoms were at their prime and I didn't have enough social/communication skills for a relationship.

I label myself as a Yandere, strictly because that's the group I feel as though I fit in most. It describes me well.

Acceptance and approval... As far as that goes, I do get more online. I do have a few friends IRL, though! I've become anti-social over the years though, so I mostly keep to myself now.

As far as being a male Yandere, I feel slightly out of place as well. I don't see many. It's mostly just women. I don't mind, of course. I have thought about trying to start off a conversation with them, but I don't trust myself to not fuck it up, and a good half of them are Lesbian and I would like to respect that.

💜 And onto the fun questions! Yes, I am taking college courses! Most of them are related to business and finance. But currently, I work at a library. I like it for the most part, it's a calming environment. 💜

💜 Ive been told that I look like the male version of Billie Eilish. From eye color, and facial features. I have been through many different dye stages and right now I have black hair with vibrant purple undertones. I have been told over and OVER that I "look like Billie eilish, but like, the boy version". So I guess that's something! 💜

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

Okay, SO. Probably "fiances who had a falling out" is good enough for Karlnapity (Karl/Sapnap/Quackity), because while they are SO MUCH more than that, its pretty hard to give a short summary. Buuut imma try anyway.

Basically the three of them entered a polyamorous relationship and became fiancés pretty early on. They started a country, El Rapids, together and they hatched a plot (that, it should be noted, all three of them agreed too, i think karl may have even volunteered.) to gain independence for the country that would involve Karl losing the first of his three lives. Fast forward a bit, El Rapids does NOT work out and Karl and Sapnap start a new country (Kinoko Kingdom) with their freind George, that they intend to have Quackity live with them in. Karl is given the job to invite Quackity, but is suffering severe memory loss (directly caused by the fact that he's secretly a time-traveler, but thats not important here) and completely forgets. Meanwhile, Quackity has started his own country, Las Nevadas, and intends to have Karl and Sapnap live there with him - the country even features a wedding hall! However, due to Karl's failing memory, Quakity hasnt heard anything from his fiancés since El Rapids, and thus thinks himself abandoned by them, and Sapnap must think Q is refusing to visit Kinoko. After some time, Sapnap eventually comes to visit Quackity in Las Nevadas, and seems very happy to see him. Quackity gives Sapnap a tour, and, though Quackity seems nervous about the idea, Sapnap manages to convince him to come visit Kinoko Kingdom and Karl. Upon reaching Kinoko, Quackity is met by a standoffish Karl, who pulls Sapnap to the side and asks why he would bring Quackity here. Sapnap is confused by this, and the two rejoin Quackity. before long however, Karl demands the same answers from Quackity, who is, understandably, a bit ticked off by the question. It soon comes to light that Karl now remembers Quackity as nothing more than the man who got Karl killed for El Rapids - Karl completly forgetting about both his own agreement to the plan, and his and Sapnap's relationship with Quackity. We have yet to receive any true closure regarding this, and it seems increasingly doubtful we ever will.

Um. Okay so that probably didnt seem short to you but i cut out SO much. Um, lemme try again.

Karl, Sapnap, and Quackity are canonical fiances who, throughout their long storyline, find themselves founding entire countries at least in part for eachother. Due to a series of misunderstandings caused by Karl's continuingly worsening memory, however, the three have a heatbreaking falling out.

Okay thats better i think! Feel free to edit that in any way you want, (if you want to use it at all) i hope this helps!

i really appreciate you taking the time to explain their relstionship and add a summary. unfortunately someone else informed me Quackity has expressed discomfort about being shipped w his friends, and it seems unclear if he also means the characters. because of that i have decided to remove the ship from my list. there won't be anymore posts about it in this blog. im really sorry agai that you wrote all of that and i won't be able to use it, and i hope you understand.

[ask-void-official]

Happy New Years!

Oh, hi! Well, uh... ahem. As you probably know, I, er... haven't updated Ask Void since, what, before Halloween?? Awkward, I know. Deepest apologies for that.

Now, don't worry, I didn't abandon Ask Void due to any sudden distaste for my short sad skeleton scientist, nor is Void's story getting completely left in the dust; I love my small skelly boi too much for that.

No, the real reason you haven't seen anything of Void is because I realized one autumn evening as I was pacing the living room holding a mug of apple cider and contemplating sowing the seeds of destruction and chaos onto this mortal plane that I realized that an ask blog isn't exactly the medium I want to utilize to tell my Void-boi's story; an ask blog is a medium that simply far too much whimsy and slice-of-life built into it to tell the story of someone with so much plot and character development potential like my depressed Void.

Void needs something that can really convey that 'Void' feel, and something I won't feel bad for breaking away from the happy fun times 'let's mess with Void' hours to suddenly go 'Oh but wait he has trauma actually'.

I don't regret making the ask blog though, it really helped me hone my character for Void, and I absolutely adored drawing the comics and writing for him. Oh, and don't worry, Ask Void will still be here! I'll basically be archiving it and effectively putting it aside in the pantry, which you can always look in to reminisce! And of course, we'll be addressing the asks ya'll sent in during my exceedingly unannounced hiatus (Again, sorry about that)

For everybody who wanted to know what was inside the house:

The GUAAHSTER GAENGGG set up a lovely chandelier in his house to help with the gloomy lighting! Void definitely probably appreciates it.

For that one lovely person who gave Void glasses that don't need tape:

Ok, he really appreciates these. Thank you!

For that one person who sent that ask likely intended for when Void was in Waterfall saying he seemed rather 'down in the dumps':

He appreciates that too; I wonder how long it's been since Void dusted off the old 'sense of humor'?

While the Ask Void universe may be set aside, there is still something that remains of it, and that would be the liminal space in between our reality and that of the Multiverse, where all of our ideas are in that incubatory stage of 'not quite there yet', and where our lovely Liminal!Void and Strawberry!Void live, as well as a reflection of myself. Their ask box isn't going anywhere, so feel free to still send asks to them if you wish; and of course, you may send asks about anything else in general that you want, from the smallest "avocado?" to the largest "What is the meaning of life?"

So, I imagine you're wondering; what is going to happen to Void's story, then, if it won't be told in an ask blog? Well... I'm still figuring it out, but you're all overdue for a solid answer.

Me and a few friends, including but not limited to my friend @emikaat, are figuring out how it'll be told, but I'm at least 90% certain that I think I'm going to write it in a book; I was contemplating a comic for a little bit, but hoo boy, that would be so much effort and commitment. I mean, I love Void, but I don't think I'm going to turn him into a lifelong career, you know?

So I think the best way to go about it would be to write a book for it and then go through my hyperfixation-addled Void drawing cravings separately. I'll figure it out, don't you worry.

Now, I'd just like to take a moment to get sappy and sentimental and say thank you to all of you who stuck around this long for my silly little ask blog for my extra-little skeleton. I really appreciate it, and Void couldn't get as far as he has without you. If you stick around just a little longer, I'm sure we're going to get to places even more exciting! And in the meantime, have this lovely peek at what the idea making process for Void's story looks like...

Luckily, this only shows the ominous conspiracy board and not the mess of crumpled papers, candy bars, and the exasperated artist on the floor contemplating existence

[my-strange-attraction]

I think the reason I’ve been so inactive on this blog recently, aside from being back at college and busy, has to do with the slow move away from aspec labels I’ve been doing over the years and how it feels much more like a betrayal now that I’ve finally put it out there and changed the labels on my bios and all that. I preach a lot about fluidity within labels and fluidity of labels, but when it comes to applying it to my own life I’ve had trouble. 

From the moment I identified as ace (pretty much a full four years ago at this point) and then aro (two and a half years ago) I’ve felt constricted. I’ve struggled, if you look back on this blog, several times with feeling like I need to let go of the idea that I will ever find romance or have a partner in that way, and though I think it’s healthy for everyone to consider that they might not find a life partner ever, I think viewing it as an objective truth really troubled me because, well, I do want it. 

I’m a romantic at heart, and for the longest time, even though I know all the aspec terminology for romance/sex favorability and I’m very well aware of how diverse the community is and I’ve actively helped to spread that information, I always had this idea in my head anyways that ace/aro people can’t want sex/romance even if they do enjoy it while it is happening. 

Obviously that’s not true and a label can’t stop you from wanting whatever you want or feeling however you feel, and I think many people who have the exact same feelings I do still enjoy the aroace label, but I needed a change. Not just for how I see myself, but for how others see me as well. I struggled against the ace label initially all those years ago because, even having never had a crush before in my life, I was still worried that if I labelled myself that way I would be telling others I’m not available, and cutting off my chances of ever dating at all.

I don’t think the label has actually done that. In fact, it saved me from a really awkward situation with someone I was friends with for a short time last year who ended up being really toxic for me, so it has helped me avoid bad situations that I might have fallen into due to my desire for a relationship. But I had to say goodbye to it, which was what my last post (that wasn’t a reblog or an answer to an ask) was about. 

God I’m rambling so much. Back to the original point of this post: I haven’t been posting so much on this blog, because leaving behind my aspec labels made me feel guilty. I started this blog and built up the community around being aspec. And I may have abandoned all the previous branding that connected it to being an aspec blog at this point, but it’s still the community. It’s still what I’m known for. And I don’t want to abandon my aspec content, but I also want to post about my other queer experiences that don’t have to do with being aspec specifically. And honestly posting about aspec things is still a bit uncomfy for me right now, just because I left behind the labels for a reason and I feel like posting about them associates me with them.

This is not to say I’ll never post about being aspec again or that I’ll only post about being generally queer. I don’t know honestly what this is saying, but I like to be very open and honest about my experiences relating to me being queer on this blog, and this is the explanation I felt the most need to make. 

Tl;dr I am queer now, not aspec. This does not mean I don’t still have aspec exeriences, but I’m feeling disconnected from them currently and felt the need to change my label. I will probably be posting less about being aspec rather than just generally queer from now on, but rest assured, I always will answer any advice asks like please still ask me about aspec things I am a fountain of information and advice! You can still think of me as an aspec blog, I just felt the need to post this explanation as a sort of announcement about why my blog might seem different going forward.

Sorry even my tl;dr was long. If you have a problem with it, you must be new here, hi I’m cloudy and my original post tag is cloudy rambles and that’s all you really need to know to understand my posting style. If you made it all the way here, thanks for sticking with me! If you didn’t, I understand, haha. I will try to post more from here on out now that I’ve explained myself, because I really do want to come back to this blog and this wonderful community. Some queer confusion/ struggles just have to be dealt with less publicly than others, I guess. Or just less in real time. But I’m back now, I hope!

[moonchild-things]

Chapter Four: The Nest

Summary: Living in Detroit, the capital of androids, constantly reminds Natalie Tyler of the accident that changed her life for the worst. Her world is overturned after deciding to adventure out of her apartment and back into the cruel world. When androids start to peacefully protest for their rights, she is asked to work with a RK800 prototype android that goes by the name Connor.  

Word Count: 5145  

Blog Masterlist | Series Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

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DATE

NOV 6TH, 2038

TIME

PM 03:34:21

THE TRIO RODE UP THE SHAKY ELEVATOR of the apartment building the report stated the alleged deviant was spotted. The small enclosure rattled as it moved slowly up to the correct floor. Natalie had her arms crossed and tapped her foot impatiently. The elevator was taking too long for her liking, and she wanted to get to the deviant quickly. She was not allowing this possible deviant getting away like the last two.

Finally, the doors of the rickety elevator slid open. Hank exited first, then followed quickly by Natalie. Connor paused in the elevator as his eye fluttered slightly and his LED turned into a dull yellow. Seeing that their partner had not moved from his spot, Hank turned to Connor.

"Hey, Connor! You ran outta batteries or what?"

"I'm sorry," Connor quickly apologized but didn't move from his spot in the elevator. "I was making a report to CylierLife."

Connor stood silently after he explained and Hank shared a quick glance with Natalie. She tilted her head and smiled at Connor, "Now that you've done that, aren't you going to follow us?"

"Yes," Connor responded quickly, Natalie swore she could hear embarrassment in his words, "I'm coming."

The trio walked along the hallway. The paint on the walls were chipped and dull due to no maintenance kept on the floor. Not only that but there were trash and pigeon feathers scattered along the floor. Natalie wrinkled her nose in disgust as a horrid smell greeted her nostrils. You would think someone would have the decency to keep this place clean.

"What do we know about this guy?" Hank asked as he trotted towards the door of an apartment that was on the floor. Natalie bent down an examined one of the pigeon feathers in curiosity. She knew that abandoned places usually attracted birds and other wild animals to take residence there but to her, there seemed to be evidence of a large population of the birds staying here. There appeared to be a far larger amount of pigeons that might have been staying here than how many usually would. It seemed suspicious to her.

"Not much," Connor said as he finally exited the elevator and followed his partners towards the end of the hallway. "Just that a neighbor reported he heard strange noises coming from this floor."

"This floor is supposed to be deserted," Natalie commented as she stood up from her crouch position on the floor. "Nobody lives here, but the neighbor said he saw a guy hiding an LED under his cap."

Hank huffed, "oh Christ, if we have to investigate every time someone hears a strange noise, we're gonna need more cops."

Natalie chuckled at his comment, "looks like you're actually going to have to do your job, Lieutenant."

Hank shot her a narrowed eyed look and turned to Connor as he approached them, "were you really makin' a report back there in the elevator? Just by closing your eyes?" He was growing exceptionally curious about what Connor could really do.

"Correct."

"Shit… wish I could do that…"

The three of them stood in front of the door and glanced at each other. "Are we just going to knock? Or what?" Natalie asked confused which only earned a shrug from Hank. She rolled her eyes and raised her hand to knock on the door. They waited a few moments and heard nothing on the other side. Sharing an unsure and confused look with each other, Natalie took it upon herself to knock again, this time more forcefully. "Anyone there!" Her eyebrows furrowed as she was able to hear a slight sound from within the room.

Gaining no real indication that someone was going to open the door, Connor stepped up and banged on the door. "Open up! Detroit Police!" Suddenly, there was a commotion heard from the other side of the door. Thumps and bangs were heard which alerted them to the indication that someone was in there.

"Stay behind me," Hank commanded the two as they backed up from the door. Neither of the two argued with him as they saw the situation became serious.

"Got it."

"No problem."

Hank pulled out his handgun and took it off the safety as he readied himself. Then he swiftly kicked the door open. They walked along the entrance hall with light footsteps. Hank checked the rooms on the side that were connected to the hallway and found that they were clear. Natalie gnawed at her bottom lip in anxiety. To think, it was only yesterday that she decided to leave her stuffy apartment and adventure out into the world once again. Now she was creeping along a hallway in order to find a deviant. It is so strange how life moves so quickly.

Hank kicked down the last door at the end of the hallway only to be bombarded with a flock of pigeons fluttering around. "What the fuck is this?!" He pointed his gun around wildly and looked around the large room for any sign of someone being there. "Jesus, this place stinks…"

Natalie placed a hand over her nose as she walked into the room after Connor. (He had made it crystal clear that he was to go into the room before she did. Much to her annoyance.) She held back a gag, "you can say that again."

"Uh, looks like we came for nothin'... our man's gone…"

Natalie finally allowed herself to get over the putrid smell that wafted through the room and was able to speak without bile rising from her throat. "Not for nothing," she started to explain. "He must have left some clues behind, maybe they can give us some insight into his thoughts and personality." She was starting to sound more like a psychologist than an android technician.

Connor and Natalie made quick work of starting to search around the apartment. While the flock of pigeons flew around at their movements, Natalie made her way into another room while Connor marched towards a poster. It was green and white and displayed the U.F.D. (Urban Farms of Detroit) He examined the poster and noticed that it looked like it had been removed several times. By scanning the poster he was able to tell that the worn out and torn poster could be removed. He swiftly pulled the corner of the poster down to find a hole in the plaster of the wall.

Inside was a small brown book. He carefully removed the book from its place and opened up its yellowing pages. Each page was covered back to front in drawings and writing that Connor tried to make heads or tails of. It seemed to be gibberish, but he would have to take the time later to delve deeper into what was written in it.

"Found something?" Hank asked as he stood in the apartment stiffly. He had been in many different places for cases, but this room took the cake for being one of the most disgusting.

"I don't know…" Connor stated, "it looks like a notebook but it's… indecipherable."

As Connor continued to find a few more clues about the deviant, Natalie cautiously tiptoed into the bathroom. The sink, toilet, and bathtub were not in working order which meant whoever decided to live here had not been using them. Not to mention, there seemed to be some Thirium in the sink along with an LED. That only proved the hypothesis that they were dealing with a deviant. She surveyed the bathroom further and stopped in her tracks as she faced one of the walls.

With her head tilted, she walked closer to the wall caked in grime and dirt. Also on the discolored wall was writing. "rA9…" Natalie muttered to herself in contemplation. The writing didn't have any significance to her, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of her mind that said otherwise. It was like she had heard it before, but her mind was clouded and hid the meaning of it from her. It was strange…

"Did you find something?" She jumped slightly as Connor appeared behind her and brought her out of her confused thoughts. She spun on her heels to face the android and tried to calm down her beating hearts.

"Well, I think so…" She gestured to the writing with her hand and moved out of the way for Connor to get a better look. "rA9 has been written 2471 times on this wall," she pointed to the sink. "There's also Thirium in the sink and an LED in there as well. The tell-tale signs of a deviant, I would think."

Connor nodded his head as he took in the information she presented him. "rA9, that's the same sign Ortiz's android-"

"You mean Gideon," Natalie couldn't help but interject.

Connor glanced at her for a second, "yes, Gideon wrote on the shower wall…"

Hank walked over and leaned against the door frame as he observed everything in the room. He couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows, "what the fuck…"

"They seem to have an obsession with this rA9, whatever that is," Natalie said and shrugged her shoulders for she did not have a clue as to what it meant. If she really tried, she was sure that she could look into multiple databases to find a lead on what it could mean at that very moment. However, that would only result in a killer headache for her afterward, and she didn't want to deal with one while working.

"Looks like mazes or something…" Hank gave an offhand remark and moved to walk out of the room while still looking at the wall.

Natalie tilts her head and sees that observation as well, "maybe it is…?" She sounded uncertain of herself as she exits behind Hank. Connor glances around the room to find a small stool overturned on the ground. While Natalie looked over the fake identifications of the deviant and the bird food on the counters, Connor scans the stool and finds that the suspect they were looking for feel off of it only recently.

He follows his scans and finds that the suspected deviant ran into the living room. Connor walked out of the bathroom and continued his scans in the living room. At first, the suspect ran towards the entrance which knocked down the birdcage from the ceiling. (That must have been the loud bang they heard.) However, the suspect changed his mind after he heard them enter the apartment. With haste, the suspect climbed the chair in the corner and heaved himself into the open ceiling.

Connor marched towards the corner and stared up at the hole in the ceiling with narrowed eyes. Natalie watched him with furrowed eyebrows and wondered what he noticed. Suddenly, a figure jumped down from the hole, which disturbed all of the pigeons in the room, and made a run for the door.

"God damn fuckin' pigeons!" Hank grunted. It was quite hard to see and move when all of the birds flying in the room, but the trio tried to follow after the suspect. "What are you waiting for?! Chase it!" At Hank's words, Connor took off in the same direction as the suspect in hopes of catching up with him.

Natalie's eyes twinkled with excitement, "oh, I love the running!"

She and Hank tried to follow after the two of them, but that proved to be a challenge. At least, for Hank, it was a challenge. Natalie tried to keep pace with the two androids and nearly did. She just reached the edge of the building on the roof and was prepared to keep running. However, She was jerked back when Hank grabbed her upper arm right before she was going to jump across a gap between buildings.

"Are you crazy! You'll get yourself killed, girly!"

Natalie ripped herself out of his grip and huffed, "you said go after him!" They were losing ground already and they needed to get after the deviant fast. There was no guarantee that Connor would be able to catch their suspect. "We need to catch up, come on!"

While the two of them found a safer route across buildings and towards the direction Connor and the deviant went, Connor was taking every risky path he could. He ran through slightly crowded areas, jumped obstacles, slid down the sides of buildings until he and the deviant were headed towards an oncoming train. Using his quick reflexes, Connor flawlessly landed on the top of the train.

Natalie and Hank ran up to the edge of the building they were on to see the awesome display of Connor's ability. "Holy shit…" Hank breathed out as he tried to catch his breath.

Natalie nodded her head with wide eyes as they watched Connor jump from the moving train onto a ladder. She only marveled in their partner's amazing actions for a moment before she shook her head and pulled Hank another way. "Come on, we can cut him off!"

Natalie sprinted along the rooftops with speeds that could match Olympic gold medalists! Of course, because of her fast speed, she had outran Hank by quite a bit. Hank may be a decorated officer, but that didn't mean he was in the best of shape. Especially when he was pinned against androids that were perfectly designed to be better than humans in just about every way. He had slowed down a bit to try and prevent himself from passing out due to all of the running. Natalie was a different story.

She used parkour and jumped gracefully around the obstacles that were in her way. She had found a route that would intercept the path of the two androids. With the speeds she was going, there was no doubt they would be able to corner the android they were chasing.

She landed on the ground and rolled before standing right outside a crop of corn. She could hear the rustling of the leaves and stalks which meant she was in the right place. The pounding of footsteps against dirt finally landed on concrete as the android they were chasing emerged from the crop.

Natalie allowed herself to take in the raggedy status of the android with a dirty coat, old hat, and baggy pants. The android instantly saw her and realized that she was chasing him just like that android who was hot on his tail.

"Hey! Don't run, we just want to talk!"

The android paid her no mind and tried to run away from her, but Natalie wasn't having any of that. She leapt forward and grabbed the android in hopes of stopping him but the android only tried to push her away. Natalie knew that if she was human, completely human, then the android would have no problem throwing her away from him and running off. However, because she had the added strength of being half machine, she proved to be a tougher opponent. Though that didn't mean she would succeed.

Connor had just emerged from the stalks of corn himself when he saw the scuffle between the android and the engineer. She appeared to be holding her own against the android, however, she quickly lost the small fight between them. The deviant was able to push her back enough to throw her over the side of the building.

Natalie screamed as she instantly reached out to grab the ledge. The android made his hasty escape while Natalie dangled from the high building. No one was going to help her up. Hank was too far away and Natalie was certain that Connor would go after the android because it was imperative to their investigation that he did. She would have had an easy time gripping onto the building's edge due to her robotic limbs, however, it was quite hard when she had a fear of heights. She was frozen in shock as she stared down at how high up she really was. She was going to die. God, she really was.

Connor took a second to make a decision, but he saw one of the two far more important than the other. He ignored the deviant that was running the opposite direction and rushed to grab Natalie's hands. He used his own strength to pull Natalie up and over the edge.

Natalie took in a deep, shaky breath once she was pulled up onto the rooftop. Her body was shaking slightly due to fright, but she tried to calm herself down before standing up. Hank then rounded the corner and saw his two partners but no suspect.

"Shit!" He exclaimed out of breath as he leaned on his knees to catch his breath. "OH SHIT! We had it! Fuck."

"It's my fault, I should have been faster." Connor took the blame for what had happened, but Natalie wouldn't let him.

"No, it's my fault, you'd got him if it wasn't for me." She shakily took in a breath. "I shouldn't have tried to stop him like that."

"You tried, Natalie." Connor started to reassure her, "you did the best you could. All that matters is you're safe now."

Natalie tried her best to smile softly towards him and nodded her head, "thank you, Connor." The sincerity in her voice was unmeasurable. If it wasn't for him, Natalie could have been nothing but a heap of blood and circuits on the pavement. She owes him her life!

Hank noticed the tremble in Natalie's body along with the terror and appreciation in her words. He didn't want her to feel even worse about the situation than she already was. He may be an asshole, but he wasn't one all the time. "That's alright." He reached an arm out and began to guide Natalie towards the door leading into the building. "We know what it looks like. We'll find it…"

Natalie sighed and gulped, "yeah, yeah, you're right. Still, I'm really sorry." Both Hank and Connor could tell that she was extremely apologetic for her part in losing the android.

Hank didn't really care. He would have rather lost the android then lose the life of one of his partners. Even if she was only assigned to work with him that morning. Besides she was young, he would hate to see a kid get killed on the job. He's had his fair share of colleges who had been killed while working and reporting the news to their families was always tough. Especially if the one who died was as young as Natalie. But he couldn't help himself but glance at Connor with a calculating stare. Like Natalie, he was slightly surprised to see that Connor had given up going after the deviant. It was in his programming to do everything in his power to find everything he could for this investigation. God, he was confused.

Connor was… relieved that the engineer wasn't harmed or killed because of this. Keeping her safe was apart of his mission…? She was the technician assigned to make sure that he didn't malfunction so, in turn, to help with the success of his mission. Yes, that was why a strange coldness enveloped his body when he saw her fall over the edge and a wave of warmth washed over him when she was safe. She was important to his mission, that was why he had to make sure she was safe. But why did it feel like there was another reason…

"You should get home, girly." Hank's comment tore Connor from his internal conflict. "We've all had an interesting day."

Natalie shook her head as they all walked down the staircase from the rooftop. "No, if we start our search now, we can find that deviant. He couldn't have gotten far…"

Connor interjected, "I suggest we take you home, Natalie. After being in such a traumatic situation, I advise we take you home to rest."

Natalie turned to him with sharp eyes. She may have been placed in a stressful and harrowing situation, however, understanding what's happening to androids is far more important when compared to her own well being. Her fears only affect herself and didn't impact hundreds upon thousands of people like the android issue. She has to look at the bigger picture.

"But-"

Hank shook his head, "no, Connor's right, we're taking you home."

Natalie crossed her arms over her chest and scoffed, "you guys really like ganging up on me, don't you?"

"Yeah, now let's go," Hank said with a tone of finality as he led them through the building. Natalie rolled her eyes and allowed herself to be guided by her two partners through the building and out onto the street.

They all walked in silence along the streets back towards Hank's car. Natalie's trembling had stopped completely as she strolled leisurely on the pavement. Her hands were stuffed into her pockets as she contemplated everything that happened. She couldn't help but wonder why the phrase "rA9" seemed familiar to her. She had a feeling that it had an enormous part to play when it came to what was happening to the androids. Perhaps Elijah would have a clue as to what it was.

---

DATE

NOV 6TH, 2038

TIME

PM 04:22:17

After a car ride across the city, the trio pulled up on the curb in front of an apartment complex. The building was just as large as the other skyscrapers that surrounded it. The building was nothing too special, but appeared to be It was obviously not one of the most expensive high rises, but it was decent when compared to others in the city.

Hank and Connor followed Natalie as she exited the elevator leading up to the forty-seventh floor. She pulled out her keys and put them into the lock while turning to the android and lieutenant. "I'm still sorry about losing-"

"I swear if you apologize one more time, I'll-" Hank started to threaten when the door to her apartment swung open quickly. Three pairs of eyes landed on the man who stood in the doorway. He had a mop of brown hair that swept across his forehead and obscuring his light green eyes. He was around the same height as Connor and at the moment, he eyed the two standing behind Natalie.

"You'll what?" He crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the older man. It was a similar gesture that Hank had seen in the past from the woman who stood in front of him. Though it's effects were not the same.

Natalie scoffed at Ethan's attempt at appearing intimidating. It didn't suit him, at all. "Stop it, Ethan." She gave him a pointed look.

He turned to her with an exasperated look while dropping his arms, "what?! It sounded like he was threatening you!" There was a slight whine in his voice that made him sound like a child.

Natalie nodded her head sarcastically, "yes, and I'm sure he could totally hurt me." She raised her eyebrow in a challenge as she dared him to contradict her. When she saw the defeated look cross his face, she smirked. It slipped off from her lips, however, when she was suddenly pulled forward by her forearms.

Ethan noticed the bandage that was on her forehead and the fact that it was stained red with wide eyes. He examined her forehead closely as concern painted his face. "Oh my god, Nat! What happened?!"

Natalie pouted her lips in annoyance as Ethan held her head in his hands and rambled on worriedly. She always hated it when he switched to 'protective little brother' mode over her, as it became annoying sometimes. She didn't even try to understand what he was saying because he was speaking so fast. She just had to let him get it all out before she actually tried to calm him down. He was such a worrywart!

Hank and Connor glanced at each other as they watched the strange interaction between the two people in front of them. Hank's expression was pure confusion and irritation at the display of affection Ethan had for Natalie. He wasn't sure who this man is, or who he was to Natalie, but it seemed like they were very close.

Connor was quick to scan who the man in front of them was. It wasn't due to the unusual hot sensation that enveloped his circuits, not at all. Definitely not because of the uncomfortable feeling that wormed its way into his mind palace due to the close proximity of the man to Natalie. No, not at all.

'Tyler, Ethan'

Born: 2/10/2015 // Wayne State Student

Criminal record: None.'

Natalie's bored expression was plastered on her face as she allowed Ethan to continue. When Ethan had to pause for breath, Natalie took it as her chance to stop him completely. "If you're done, I'd like to get inside my apartment, thank you." She sidestepped him and entered their apartment.

Ethan pouted at Natalie before he turned to Hank and Connor. He noticed that the man on the left of him had the blue triangle on his chest and armband that indicated he was an android. It dawned on him that this was the android Natalie was tasked with looking after. It was a surprise to him that Natalie had gotten the job so quickly. He thought Elijah would have had a tougher time getting Natalie a position at the company. He still has a lot of power in CyberLife even if he wasn't apart of it anymore, it seemed.

Ethan moved aside with a polite smile, "why don't you guys come in."

Hank nodded his head and instantly walked into the comfy apartment. Connor marched after his partner and observed the cozy apartment. At the moment, the television was on and displayed a game of baseball that Ethan was previously watching.

"Ethan!" Natalie exclaimed as she stalked around the kitchen counter. She held a pizza box in her hand while tilting her head. "I said not to order pizza this morning, I was going to cook dinner tonight."

Ethan scratched the back of his head sheepishly as he, Hank and Connor moved over towards the muted television and couches. "Well, you weren't here, and I didn't know when you would get back, so…"

Natalie couldn't help but laugh at the innocence on his face, "whatever, I guess I'll just cook myself dinner." She turned to Hank with a raised eyebrow, "you want something to drink."

Hank didn't even contemplate her offer, "sure-"

"And I'm not giving you alcohol, Lieutenant." Came her remark as she walked over to the kitchen counter again. Hank deflated slightly at her words.

Ethan chuckled and reassured the older man. "Don't mind her. Neither of us has been people to drink alcohol." He then stage-whispered, "she is also a complete lightweight."

"I heard you, idiot!"

Ethan rolled his eyes as he plopped down on the plush, soft couch that rested in front of the television. Hank and Connor followed after. Hank took a seat next to the younger man on the couch while Connor sat on the loveseat that rested against the wall beside the couch.

"I suppose you guys are working with Natalie," Ethan commented.

Connor nodded his head, "yes, she was assigned to look over my programming to make sure that I don't develop malfunctions or errors within my software."

"She's his babysitter." Hank couldn't help but interject with a hearty laugh. Ethan smiled brightly and joined in the laughter. Though he tried to smother the noise with his hand over his mouth, as he knew Natalie would be irritated by Hank's joke.

"Did you tell her that? Man, if I said something like that to her I would have been slapped!"

Natalie waltzed over to the loveseat, where Connor sat rigid and stiff, and sat next to the android. She had discarded her hoodie and taken off her shoes so she could curl her legs underneath herself in order to get comfortable in her spot. "Be warned, the threat's still there." She glared playfully at her younger brother who only raised his hands in surrender. She rolled her eyes at their antics, "anyway, that's Lieutenant Anderson," she started off introductions for the three others in the room by nodding at Hank. "This is Connor," she gestured towards the android before addressing both Hank and Connor. "And this idiot is my little brother, Ethan."

Ethan flashed a bright and charming smile while offering Hank his hand, "nice meeting you." Hank shook his hand as he looked over the man. With a firm handshake, Hank nodded his head. To think that the woman who appeared to be headstrong, independent and with a seeming spark of mischief and rebellion in her had a brother like this. Natalie seemed to be able to intimidate just about anyone and also was kind and polite when the situations called for it. Ethan appeared only able to be kind and polite. He seemed to be a people pleaser and hated confrontation. At least, that's what Hank concluded about him. For all he knows, Hank could be wrong about Ethan. "It's honestly good to see that Natalie was actually able to get along with you."

Hank tilted his head slightly, "is she not a person who usually plays nice?"

Ethan shrugged his shoulders sheepishly after a moment of deliberation, "I'm just glad she isn't completely socially awkward like I thought she would be."

Connor noticed that Natalie shifted uncomfortably next to him. "Why would Natalie be socially awkward?" Connor asked.

"Well, after staying inside for three ye-" Ethan started to babble about the progress that his sister had taken, however, paused when he saw the heated glare from her. He gulped before clearing his throat. Connor watched the interaction with narrow eyes. What was he going to say? Why did Natalie appear irritated with what he was going to say? "I bet you three had a tiring day, wouldn't want to keep you all too long, Lieutenant." Ethan stood up as Hank slowly followed after along with Connor after a moment. The Tyler siblings showed the android and Lieutenant to the door. "It was nice meeting you both, hope we can meet again."

Hank gave a gruff reply back in farewell and bid Natalie one as well before exiting the small apartment. Connor also said goodbye and followed after his partner towards the door.

Natalie licked her lips and stopped Connor before he could get too far away from the door to her apartment. Connor's eyebrows furrowed as Hank continued towards the elevator, and he turned to the short woman who had grabbed his upper arm. Natalie smiled softly, "listen, Connor, thank you again, really for saving my life."

"It was no problem, Natalie."

The gratitude that shined in her eyes was almost blinding. Connor was positive if it wasn't for that fact that he was an android, he would have gone blind. "Really." She took a deep breath, "I just wanted you to know that I owe you for what you did."

He was only doing what he saw necessary to their investigation. Keeping her safe was important. He doesn't completely see why she is thanking him so much. Connor was an android specifically created to perform different and difficult tasks which, in this case, included saving Natalie. It was like she was thanking him as if he had made some sort of human decision. She made it sound like he made a decision based off of emotions instead of logistics. "You don't-"

"Connor, come on!" Hank's shout cut off any rebuttal that Connor had for Natalie.

Natalie chuckled at the impatient tone Hank used. She didn't doubt that he would leave the poor android there at her apartment building if Connor didn't hurry up. "I'll see you later, Connor." With that final goodbye, Natalie closed the door of her apartment and sighed. In the hallway, while making his way towards the elevator, Connor contemplated Natalie words and actions. Not only the fact that she had to thank him profusely for saving her life but also how she reacted when Ethan mentioned her being socially awkward.

[monokingrps]

hey, so. this is probably gonna be the last time i log onto here. as you can see, this blog’s been abandoned for quite some time. (i didn’t log on again because anything happened - i don’t keep up with these people i helped to call out, i’m simply going through my old tumblr logins and deleting some different blogs/sideblogs that don’t need to be around)

re: jirachi:

the main reason i gave up, honestly? because none of these people - especially not jirachi - will ever stop. very shortly after the latest callout update for jirachi, i heard that she deleted her blog after being called out for vagueposting about someone. (i was not able to find receipts of this happening unlike other jirachi-related things, so take this one with a grain of salt.)

my entire conversation with jirachi in private at the time was extremely focused on how bad it made her feel, and i didn’t feel listened to whatsoever even when i started to pour my heart out about how what she & other people in the cuphead rpc did seriously hurt me. there was no way she was actually reading and listening to what i was saying - even a fast reader doesn’t reply that fast. it was very clear to me that she didn’t care, but just wanted me to take her callouts down. and to be honest, even despite not feeling listened to, i was willing to do that, and originally agreed i’d remove the callout doc after one year.

...and then, i heard of her guilt tripping people through vagueblogs, once again. keep in mind, this is a woman in her 30s who has now been called out for that type of behavior 3+ times. that is ample opportunity to learn you should treat other people online better, and yet. zero improvement, and one instance where she was blatantly lying and pretending to be new to tumblr so she could roleplay with people... instead of. you know, changing? i think she absolutely could’ve gotten trust back with the vague apologies i saw her post after this recent callout update, but. after hearing she’d been hurting people again - because, let’s be blatant, that IS what vagueblogging and other toxic behavior is. it’s harming others - i am not really that confident in her abilities to change.

re: aku and others:

uh. i’m genuienly not sure why people seem to REALLY believe this, because i have always had a very different typing style, but i am not the person who ran @/alluringroyal or who managed the aku callouts. i never interacted with aku, the most i’ve done is read their callouts and go “wow that’s awful behavior” and signal boost it by reblogging. i have zero affiliation with that person who ran alluringroyal. said person and i are not even friends. i really can’t do or help with anything relating to these situations, sorry.

things i’d like people to pay attention to:

i’m not kirm. my pronouns are he/him. (i have never used they/them pronouns and was unable to use they/them for many years due to a hyperspecific abuse trigger, and i still would not be able to pick they/them as a preferred pair and can only handle those pronouns being used before i introduce myself.) afaik kirm is she/they and has never used he/him.

also, i never went by mono or monoking as a name but i guess you can use that to refer to me if you need to mention me since it remained my url here after i stopped roleplaying.

conclusions:

here are the links to the different callouts i worked on. however, i have no plans At All to ever touch or update these again. these are essentially here as archives and i do acknowledge it’s entirely possible x person mentioned could’ve changed - but. i think that they should stay up so that if these people start harming more people, it can serve to show patterns and allow people to build their own conclusions on whether or not they want to interact.

nemo || cw: pedophilia mentions, suicide, guilt tripping

(found this right after i posted this post) nemo has apparently recently apologized and as far as i can tell actually was serious in addressing the issues with her behavior. i genuinely think this is an awesome step. this is all anybody ever wanted, really. read that here. however, i am uneasy about the part where she claims she didn’t stalk someone. i no longer have communication with this person, but i spoke at length to the victim of this, and they experienced things like getting email notifications from old blogs of nemo’s following her. these old blogs were otherwise abandoned for YEARS, and the logical conclusion here [to me and to the victim] is that nemo only logged onto them because she was blocked on her main blog, and the following (and then unfollowing) was an accidental press while nemo was checking their blog to see if they were posting about her. either way, i do genuinely think it’s pretty awesome nemo acknowledged her faults.

like i said above, i don’t really want to touch these documents, but nemo’s genuine attempt at apologizing for toxic behavior does deserve archiving as much as the original behavior did, so i will figure out somewhere to include it later on.

blue || cw: rape mentions, transphobia and homophobia, guilt tripping

jirachi (& gigi, altho i’m pretty sure gigi has entirely left any roleplay commmunity) || cw: pedophilia mentions/pedophilic fanart, diaper kink, fetish mining, guilt tripping, misgendering

nil || pedophilia mentions, guilt tripping

faz || enabling of people mentioned above, ableism

resources:

a couple blogs that i personally follow or used to follow are:

@nbapprentice , @dontreblogbigots @persontoblockoftheday

i also found these blogs: 

https://www.tumblr.com/multicallout https://www.tumblr.com/akugetahint

i don’t plan to ever log in here again, i won’t see or respond to any comments or anything. i did queue up some re-reblogs of callouts and what i think is current info about some folks i used to hear horror stories. peace out.

[keepxsolxinxsolxinvictus]

What the Hell is going on here?

Well that is a good question and I am glad you asked!

This blog was originally meant to be a nice, peaceful, inoffensive blog, to go to and relax while looking at pretty seasonal and/or holiday pictures. I am in North America, so these are the seasons as they occur for me. I am American so these are the holidays which are common here, but I do try to include other holidays. Whether I am successful depends upon if I know about the holidays and if there are tumblr posts which relate to the holidays.

Then I discovered positive cartoons and I have included them. Unfortunately this blog seems to have outlived some of them, or at least their presence on tumblr. So there are some sweet older cartoons in my archive.

I have also added in actors, television shows or movies which I enjoy. This isn't really a fandom blog, though. For something like that, please visit the blogs that I reblog from.

I also occasionally find a particular post that is funny or weird and I will pop that in here too.

Mainly this is a queued blog. Generally it posts 50 times a day. I have decreased the posts to 25 times a day if there isn't a big holiday, or a lot of tumblr posts that are relevant to the season.

But if there is something politically or socially going on, I will post, or reblog other blogs about that. I post those when I am actually online though, those are not usually a part of my queue.

I have more recently begun reblogging posts with terms peculiar to tumblr ie. blorbo, or old posts that are well known on tumblr ie. World Heritage posts, or posts that may be so old that people have seen posts about them, but have never seen the original posts. I have been on tumblr for a lot longer than I have had this blog, so some of these are nice memories for me, or make me laugh.

Occasionally I will go through my list of followers and reblog something from each of their blogs to keep myself up to date with them and to introduce them to each other. These are usually put into my queue, so you may see that I liked a post and then a week later that I reblogged it. I still try to find posts that somewhat fit my theme.

For my seasonal and holiday posts, I use search terms. As fewer people are on tumblr, I find fewer posts there. Also, some people are just as lazy as I am and forget to tag their posts. I always tag my original posts, which are fewer, but I don't always remember to tag my reblogs. In general this is because only the tags on the original posts will put them under a search term.

I do, however, try to tag anything that might squick someone out, or be triggering.

For instance, I do reblog from @jenny-jinya . I always tag her posts with jenny jinya, lovingreaper, and sad comic, as well as other tags about the actual content, to help my followers who need to avoid them do so. But I think her messages about cruelty to animals and other such subjects are important and beautifully done, so I want her work to be a part of my blog. I would have never found her if someone I was following hadn't reblogged her work, so I try to do the same.

I usually follow back those who like or reblog from my blog, unless they have something on their blog which makes me uncomfortable. Lots of people like pretty pictures, so occassionally I find a blog that doesn't post things that will make me happy when I see them on my dash. That's nothing against them, just a difference in opinions or tastes.

I don't often participate in the "tag more people" types of messages. Not that I don't appreciate them, I just have a lot less time for that rn, I'm sorry! I used to have another blog which was my main blog, and a second side blog but I abandoned those a few years ago to concentrate on my happy blog due to time constraints. That's why a little more of my personality has come out on this blog than I originally intended.

So that's the story. Thank you for reading it!

Peace and love to you!

Sol

Established May 2016

ARCHIVE

[jungkxook]

—amortentia.

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader

⟶ genre: hogwarts/harry potter au / enemies-to-lovers + fluff

⟶ words: 5,486

⟶ rating: pg-13

⟶ summary: jungkook loves everything strawberry but the simple pleasure is always kept hidden, stowed away as if some hideous secret to protect the rumours that had built up around him — until a love potion outs him.

⟶ disclaimer: this is a repost of an old fic from my old blog since i know some of you were asking about it! i hope you enjoy!!

Jungkook loves strawberries.

He remembers fondly the warm summers as a child when he would go strawberry picking with his grandmother, and revels in the taste and the memory each time he bites into a fresh berry, the juices coating his tongue in sickly sweetness; he likes the smell of all the lotions and lip balms, candles and fragrances, that carried notes of the red fruit in comforting wafts, remembering distantly a time when his mother’s fruity perfume would breathe warm life into his cold house in the middle of a dull winter; he remembers sentimental times spent at the local cafe near his home, loving and basking in the way the homely and warm aroma of a freshly baked pie and the sugary tartness of strawberry lemonade would fill his nostrils and consume his senses, leaving his mouth watering. 

Jungkook loves everything strawberry but the simple pleasure is always kept hidden, stowed away as if some hideous secret to protect the rumours that had built up around him.

Ask any girl that thought Jeon Jungkook is handsome or any boy that thought Jungkook is a god and they would say he smells like the purest form of any man with a harmonious scent of musk, cedar wood, and oak; like fresh rain that soaked in the middle of a mossy forest, spices, and black coffee — but they couldn’t have been more wrong. Maybe he did smell of musk or wood or rain when he was continuously outside, practicing every moment he had with his Quidditch team, but Jungkook was more than just that. Really, though, it made sense as to why people thought that way about him when he had left such a lingering impression on the school.

You can still remember the very first day you saw him; the very moment you had, from your spot in line in front of the Sorting Hat on the first day as a first year, saw the stoic boy step forward. Made up of a nervous face and obsidian locks that fell into his equally dark eyes, the Hat had instantly deemed the boy a Ravenclaw — and perhaps the house’s reputation was what added to his mystique and strange charm. Even then, from what you observed, he had been a silent boy, making his way to and from classes usually alone, and somehow ignoring the gaggle of girls (from all years and from all houses) that trailed along behind him, giggling and clamouring over how cute he is.

As the months went on, you never witnessed much change in Jungkook safe for the friends he suddenly made in the first half of second year (a surprising mix of Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs, Gryffindors, and Slytherins) and the smug attitude he began to develop. A rebel, they said, a bad boy at heart, the very antithesis of Ravenclaws. Someone all the girls craved for and all the boys yearned to be. And while you tried to assume that perhaps there was more to the boy than meets the eye — that maybe he was built on different layers you could one day explore — when he begins to become too conceited with the way he is praised, you grow disenchanted by him and his cocky smirks. Yet, for some reason, he finds it necessary to go out of his way to talk to you no matter what — and you were quick to learn to despise him and his constant mocking, all possibilities of trying to get to know him diffused. 

In first year, you had to endure a whole semester worth of Jungkook tugging at your hair when he sat behind you in Charms class. In second year, an unspoken rivalry began in which the two of you would compete to see who could earn the better grades. You can’t quite pinpoint when or where the hatred for one another began, but the irritation that comes as a result of it only grows more adamant with each passing day.  

In third year, you distinctly remember being confined to the many dusty oak shelves and rows of leather bound books in the library, your eyes constantly flickering to the ornate grandfather clock nearby you as you wait alone. An agreed time of 6 pm to meet in the library after dinner to work on a partnered assignment had otherwise vanished from the boy’s memory. Had it been up to you to decide what partner you wanted, you would have much rather preferred to pick one of your friends and not the Ravenclaw who was fifteen minutes late. With the project due in two days, and with the nearly three weeks you had to finish it, you had constantly asked to meet with Jungkook to work on it and each time he had made a different excuse. 

As time crept on and the waning hours of the daylight dwindled to a dull darkness, twenty minutes would pass and it was then that you would grudgingly begin packing your belongings. The wait was not worth the trouble. Yet just as you are standing from your seat, the boy waltzes into view, coming to a nonchalant halt in front of you and placing his bag on the table, as if he didn’t know how late he is. He has abandoned his robe to wear only a grey fleece pullover on top of his white button up, his torn up Converse shoes ruining the uniform outfit with his casual flare. Your stare flickers up to meet his smug face and a frown forms on yours as you spot the other third year Slytherin girl giggling a flirtatious goodbye to the boy who winks in response. Finally, he turns to look at you.

“You’re leaving already?” Jungkook asks. “I just got here.”

“Twenty minutes later, Jeon,” You snap.

The boy quirks a brow, twisting around in his spot to look at the clock. “I could have sworn you said we should meet at six-thirty. I’m ten minutes early.”

“I remember saying six o’clock,” You say. “As well as you telling me that six was perfectly fine. Look, History of Magic isn’t my favourite either but I would appreciate it if you at least put some effort into the class and this project.”

“Shh!”

The hiss that comes from the student studying near you only makes you scowl. You turn around hotly to continue shoving your books and papers into your backpack.

“I was busy,” Jungkook says.

“Busy flirting with every living thing?” You asks.

“What?” Confusion paints his face, and then he is shaking his head furiously. “No!”

Your eyes narrow into a scrutinizing glare. You point over your shoulder at the same Slytherin girl who is still within the library, standing just a few feet away from the pair of you. She has an opened book in her hands in an attempt to look distracted but her eyes are fixated solely on Jungkook. When she catches Jungkook staring, his gaze lifting over your shoulder, she hurriedly looks away and blushes.

“So I assume she’s just a friend?” You retaliate. “You know what your problem is, Jeon? You never take anything seriously.”

Immediately, Jungkook tenses. His arms snake around to cross in front of his chest.

“Well, you take everything too seriously,” he says. “When was the last time you had some fun? Any time I talk to you, you’re always fussing about the work or about how much you hate me—  it’s like you’re a walking, talking, breathing dementor! You suck the life out of everyone.”

“Shh!”

The snarl this time is much harsher, coming from yet another student who has been devoting his time to writing an essay. But now you can’t be bothered to worry about silence. You slam shut the book in your hand with a very loud thump that seems to echo around the eerily silent room and fling a strap of your bag over your shoulder.

“Well, I’m sorry that I, and this assignment, are such inconveniences to you,” You say, “but from now on I give up on making sure we both don’t fail this class. If you need me, which I assume you won’t, I’ll be in my room, far from you.”

“Excuse me!” The familiar bark of the librarian’s voice hardly makes you jump even as she comes marching down to the two of you. “This is a library, a quiet place to study. It would be greatly appreciated if you could bring your conversation out into the halls.”

Had she not interrupted your conversation with Jungkook, you would have never realized just how loud your voice had risen. Clearing your throat and tightening your grip on your bag and the book, you tear your eyes from Jungkook and stomp defiantly out into the corridors to retreat to your common room, leaving Jungkook alone. He would find you the day after in a sluggish state, his hair dishevelled and his clothes askew as if he had slept in them — or, rather, had not slept at all — showing you all the work he had finished for the assignment the night before.

In fourth year, you are leaving the stands of the Quidditch pitch on a surprisingly warm November evening. Following the slew of students back to the school after a heated game between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor — where the latter team won after a fiery race between the two Seekers for the golden snitch — the eager chatter buzzes in the air. Beside you are your two friends who are, just as many others are doing, whispering excitedly about Jungkook’s role as Seeker and his “amazing performance.” 

“Did you see the way Jungkook played?” Hana asks from the right side of you. “How can someone be so attractive?”

To your left, Nayeon is practically standing on the tip of her toes, desperately craning her neck to search the crowd for the boy and his friends. “Oooh, look! There he is! He’s so sweaty! Imagine his muscles—”

“You’re ridiculous,” You sigh with a disapproving shake of your head.

Despite your condescending tone, you can’t help but glance over your shoulder to follow your friends’ gaze. Laughing in triumph with his team and friends, Jungkook stands adorned in the usual Ravenclaw royal blue Quidditch uniform, the robes somehow accentuating his tanned skin and dark hair that clings to his sweat-covered forehead. Since when had he grown so tall? And maybe Nayeon was right — since when did Jungkook start looking so muscular? 

“Your staring is obvious, Y/N,” Hana says. 

“And so is your crush on him,” Nayeon murmurs. 

“Crush?” You burst out into laughter. “Now that’s funny. I could never have a crush on him!”

“Have a crush on who?”

The familiar voice makes you groan inwardly and the arm that is tossed around your neck almost makes you gag. Your body grows rigid under Jungkook’s touch, though he doesn’t seem to notice that or the way you carefully try to peel his arm off of you but to no avail. Joining him is his typical duo of friends. The other Slytherin boy next to Jungkook is the shy and soft Park Jimin, accompanied by their inseparable Hufflepuff friend, Kim Taehyung. The two boys smirk wolfishly down at your friends, both of whom are so suddenly at a loss for words.

“Evenin’, ladies!” Jimin says. “Enjoy the show?”

“We hate to brag but we taught him everything he knows,” Taehyung says, ruffling Jungkook’s hair.

Jungkook rolls his eyes and swats Taehyung’s hand away. “Maybe the three of you can come down to watch us practice one day.” 

Your friends exchange glances and giggle nervously. 

“We’d love to,” Nayeon smiles.

Your lack of response clearly doesn’t go unnoticed by your friends, nor Jungkook and his friends. As you turn your head to look away from the group, you briefly catch the sudden scent that is Jungkook and your face scrunches. It isn’t so much as gross as it is overpowering. Passed salt and sweat, you can smell something clean like freshly cut grass or some sort of lemongrass shampoo. But instead of telling him out loud what you thought, you pushed him away.

“You smell terrible,” You said. “Go take a shower, Jeon.”

“Always playing hard to get,” Jungkook sighs. “Sorry we can’t all smell like your floraly essence after playing an intense Quidditch game.”

You only hum in response, turning your head to look away from him and his friends. The act seems to earn a smirk from Jungkook and then he and his friends are parting from you, walking back to the locker rooms. After that day, your friends’ profuse pleads and begs for you to come with them one day when the Quidditch teams are practicing would eventually make you cave in. When Jungkook sees you sitting in the stands burrowed in a wool scarf and heavy robes, albeit with a frown on your face and your eyes scanning the pages of a book in your lap, he catches your attention by shouting your name and then winking at you. Seconds later, a Quaffle is thrown his way by a fellow teammate and nearly knocks him off his broom.

In fifth year, you are seated in your Transfiguration class at the back and nearly dozing off as your Professor drones on and on in the early morning about some boring lecture. Jungkook sits in the row opposite you and a seat behind but that doesn’t stop him from constantly trying to catch your attention, whispering your name. It is only when you hear a few classmates near you break out into wondrous awes that you lift your head from its resting place wedged between your folded arms on top of your desk and turn. Soaring above the students’ heads is an enchanted paper bird, its thin wings fluttering its way to you.

You gaze at it for a moment, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips, before noticing that it is Jungkook who had magicked it, wand in hand as he waves it towards you. As soon as it reaches your table, it floats around your head and lingers in front of your face, beckoning you to take it. Instead, your hands try swatting it away though it doesn’t seem to budge. When you relent and succumb to taking the bird, it is not before you shoot an annoyed glance back at Jungkook. Then, you unwrap the bird in your hand. With thin black ink sprawled out in perfect cursive writing, a single dreadful question is poised in pretty script: Meet me tomorrow at noon at the Three Broomsticks? It’ll be my treat.

“Is that from Jungkook?” Hana asks. She peers over your shoulder from beside you to look down at the paper, her voice incredibly louder than you would have liked. “It is! Is he asking you out? You know, I always knew you liked him. You’re a terrible liar— ”

You gasp. Your hand quickly covers the paper, yanking it out of Hana’s view. “I do not like him!”

“Do too!” Hana laughs. “So, what are you going to say? Huh, who knew Jungkook was so soft and cute? Have I told you how cute the two of you would be together?”

Maybe it’s the way she so suddenly begins to gush over you dating Jungkook, or the way her voice garners the attention of those sitting around you, letting other girls fawn over how cute his simple gesture is, that makes you curdle with embarrassment. But what are you so shy of? You are insistent that you don’t like Jungkook but you were certain that if word spread that you did have feelings for him, your whole life would be drastically ruined. Or maybe you were more fearful of the idea of possibly liking Jungkook in return, even if you had so profusely been lying to everyone and yourself.  

“Stop it!” You hiss. “I would rather kiss the squid in the Black Lake than date him!”

Then, as if to emphasize this apparent hatred, you grab your quill and furiously write in big scratchy letters “NO” before crumpling it in your hand and twisting in your seat. Set on chucking the balled up piece of paper right at Jungkook’s smug face, you are startled when you feel the paper being plucked from your grasp by none other than your Professor. She stands before you with a sour look on her face, a willowy old lady with gray wisps of hair pulled back into a tight bun. 

“Ah, Miss Y/N,” she hums, “if you have more important matters that you seem to want to discuss with Mr. Jeon, surely you can divulge with the rest of the class too.”

Your mouth clamps shut. You watch, stricken with horror, as she unravels the paper in her hands, her glossy eyes skimming its contents from beneath her half-moon spectacles. She purses her lips, and then shifts her gaze to you and then to Jungkook sitting behind you. The silence that follows as she moves towards him is near unbearable, making you shift uncomfortably in your seat.

“If you would have much rather preferred to flirt with Miss Y/N than listen to my lecture, feel free to leave my class, Jeon,” Your Professor says. She drops the paper onto his desk with a flourish. “Though, it’d be in your best interest to stop your daydreaming and pay attention to my class because I’m afraid her answer was no.”

Your eyes widen as you twist in your seat to look at your Professor and a startled Jungkook. And, maybe, if you looked hard enough and passed the smug smirk, you could see his conceited stare falter as a look of hurt flashes across his eyes. A few murmurs and giggles break out amongst the students, making your cheeks burn hot and forces you to turn back around and away from Jungkook.

“And I suppose that now neither of you are busy tomorrow, you wouldn’t mind spending it in detention with me,” Your Professor says. Then she was rounding on her heel, marching back to the front of the classroom and restarting her lecture.

After the torturous detention where Jungkook suddenly refuses to look or talk to you after what had happened, and a week after the missed Hogsmeade trip, you would find Jungkook walking the halls, hand-in-hand, with another Ravenclaw girl. As they pass you, seemingly unaware of your lingering presence, you see the girl stop Jungkook and lean forward to kiss him, his own hands resting on her waist and tugging her closer to him. Though you tell yourself you’re free from his constant flirting and mocking, you can’t help but feel somewhat let down as you walk away that day.

In the beginning of sixth year, when all the students had found a moment to themselves and a much needed break from all the sudden stress of homework, you would wind up at a party being held in the Room of Requirements. Though you weren’t quite sure how the students were able to smuggle alcohol into the school, you remember drinking until you are blissfully numb and without a care in the world. Most of the evening had been spent chatting to Nayeon and Hana but when they become distracted with flirting with their crushes, you are left alone. It isn’t much long after that you stumble into Jungkook. Drunkenly dancing to the upbeat thump of music that reverberated around the room, you had, somehow, lost your footing. As you fall into the thick crowd, a pair of strong hands reach out to swiftly catch onto yours arms and hold you up. Jungkook’s surprised when you don’t bother pushing him away and let him help straighten you up. Clearly, you’re much too drunk to function, and he makes sure to hold you at a comfortable distance away from him. Then, there, under the dim lights of the room, you are met with his typical smirk tugging at his luscious pink lips (which you find yourself gazing at for longer than necessary). 

“Ah, if it isn’t Jeon Jungkook,” You rasp. You sway dangerously in his hold and nearly fall to the floor again. He tightens his grip on you and catches you once more before you can slip away. “What do you want from me tonight?”

“Hey, you bumped into me. I’m just being nice and making sure you don’t face-plant the floor.” 

“Yeah, but of course you had to be right beside me. I think I’d rather have face-planted the floor.”

He quirks a brow. He feigns dropping you, momentarily loosening his grip just enough for you to come flailing forward with a yelp of surprise. He doesn’t let you fall too far, though, and catches onto you swiftly once more, hooking his arm around your waist. When you meet his stare with a scowl, he grins. “You were saying?”

“Do you remember that one time you told me I never have fun?” 

“Not really.”

“Ah, well, you say a lot of shit to me,” You say. “But that stuck out the most. You called me a dementor. A dementor. My thirteen year old self never forgot that.”

Jungkook winces at how carefree you seemed to say it, at how you still remembered it three years later. His hands drop from you once you’re steady and he runs his fingers through his locks, softly pushing them up and out of his eyes before they ultimately fall flat against his forehead once more. 

“I didn’t mean it,” he says. “I mean, look at you now. You seem to be having a lot of fun. How drunk are you anyway?”

“It’s not fun when it feels like I’m trying to prove a point to you,” You sigh. “But I already know you don’t care about me.”

“That’s not true,” Jungkook says. “You’re the one who doesn’t care about me.”

You burst out into a fit of mocking laughter and shake your head at him. Swaying forward, almost precariously close to him, you tap the tip of his nose with your finger. “Jeon Jungkook, you can be real oblivious.”

And then you are kissing him, pressing your soft lips to his. He doesn’t push you away, albeit however incredibly surprised he may be. Instead, as he feels your lips move against his, he finds himself basking in everything that is you. All he can smell is your floral perfume and, passed the liquor that stained your lips, could taste your peach lip balm and the bubble gum you had been chewing earlier in the night. He hates how much he loves it. His hands lift to rest on either side of your face and he gently brings you closer to him, his tongue laving at your peach flavoured lower lip. He hears you moan softly in content as you melt against his chest, your fingers suddenly tugging desperately at the hair at the nape of his neck. It’s then that you realize that all you can smell is the scent of freshly cut grass and his lemony shampoo, but all you can taste is something warm and sugary that feels all too comforting.

You come to the conclusion in your drunken mind that you would have loved to keep kissing him. That, maybe, kissing Jeon Jungkook wasn’t so bad. But then just as suddenly as you had kissed him, he is pulling away from you, sending you crashing and burning down from your reverie. With swollen pink lips, wide eyes, and dishevelled hair, Jungkook shakes his head abruptly and mumbles a quiet, “I’m sorry.” 

He flees from your grasp and from the party before you can stop him — and it is in that moment that you began to hate Jungkook, but not more than you hate yourself for actually enjoying the way it felt to kiss someone like him. You would never learn why he had left so soon until much later when he tells you that he didn’t want you to regret anything you did drunk — didn’t want you to regret kissing someone like him when you had seemed to hate him for years prior.

In the second half of sixth year, when you begin to fail Potions, your Professor does what he thinks is best and pairs you with Jungkook, the smartest student in his class. Hearing that Jungkook, of all people, is remarkable at Potions doesn’t come as a surprise. You are quick to learn just why he had been placed into Ravenclaw, carrying their impressive ambition and intelligence. If anything, you are almost jealous of how easily he seems to pick up on things and can reproduce them at top notch quality.

Your friendship with him is still strained and is perhaps even worse than it had once been ever since the night of the party. Neither of you talk about the moment and, from what either of you were concerned, both of you had long since forgotten the night had ever happened. Unbeknownst to you is that when Jungkook sees how cold and distant you become in the days after, he refuses to tell you the truth that the kiss is always on his mind. So, when you are forced to work with him for any assignments or in-class work, most of your conversations end in constant bickering. Miraculously, somehow, your grades do gradually begin to pick up. 

One day, when you both walk into class, you are greeted to the sight of a smoldering cauldron placed neatly on top of your Professor’s desk, a beautiful scent filling the room that seems to be coming specifically from whatever has been brewing. The liquid contents within contains a mother-of-pearl sheen and clear smoke spirals from it in wisps. As soon as everyone is seated at their desks, your Professor steps forward and begins his lecture.

“Good evening, class!” he chirps. “Today we have a very exciting lecture that has to do with what is currently sitting on my desk. Now, can anyone tell me what exactly it is?”

A few shouts of guesses are tossed into the air but all are wrong as your Professor simply shakes his head. Jungkook raises his hand casually and your Professor points enthusiastically at him. 

“Yes, Jungkook?”

“It’s Amortentia,” he says.

“Right you are, my boy!” Your Professor beams. “Five points to Ravenclaw! This is, in fact, Amortentia. Now, for those of you who do not know what it is, that is perhaps all the best. But as it is, it’s important to educate you on the various effects each potion can have on a being and why someone should, or should not, administer it. Amortentia, simply put, is a love potion.”

Gasps of awe and murmurs from certain students circulate the room as your Professor carries on.

“And not just any love potion — the most powerful love potion in the world,” he says. “If anyone were to receive such a potion, it would cause an intense infatuation and obsession on the drinker. However, the potion must be continuously administered to the drinker or else the effects will wear off and the drinker will regain his or her conscience and free will. Now, if you ever wanted to know how to identify Amortentia, you can rely on its very distinct smell. Differing on the person who smells it, it will always morph into the scent of whomever you desire most. For instance, I smell lemon drops, toothpaste, and parchment paper. You may all smell something different.”

A handful of students lean forward in their seat, desperately moving closer to the cauldron and the potion that carried such charming scents. Despite not wanting to show your immediate interest in something as strange as a love potion, you sit back in your seat but inhale a slow, deep breath of air and the scent that makes your heart skip a beat. It would pose as an obstacle to focusing on the lecture as your Professor carried on, though you find you’re not the only one so easily distracted by it. Halfway through the class, he stops his lecture and informs the students of their task for the evening: replicating Amortentia perfectly with the help of the partner sitting next to them.

So, you and Jungkook immediately head to work, beginning the tedious process of preparing ingredients and brewing the potion. Naturally, your own potion brewing goes faster than others as Jungkook seems to know what to do with everything. For the most part, you sit back and watch, as Jungkook refuses your help any time you offer, claiming you would only just slow him down. When it’s done, and the entire class is still halfway through theirs, you fold your arms over your chest and look up at Jungkook, noting the way his eyebrows scrunch together as he peers down at the glistening potion.

“I can’t smell anything,” You say. “Did you even do this right?”

Jungkook grimaces, though his stare falters. He doesn’t admit it aloud, but he worries for a moment that maybe he isn’t as good at Potions as he thought he was. In the next second, he scowls and shoots you a look.

“What kind of question is that?” he asks. “Of course I did it right! I followed everything properly. It even looks perfect.”

“Well, obviously it isn’t perfect if neither of us can smell anything,” You say.

“Well,” Jungkook says, irritated, “maybe if you didn’t bathe yourself in your ridiculous floral perfume, I could smell something.”

“Me?” Your mouth drops open in an appalled gap. “Now it’s my fault? You’re one to talk. Did you have practice this morning? All I can smell is grass and your stupid lemon shampoo or whatever it is. It’s disgusting.”

The bickering continues on between the two of you until you’ve seemingly grabbed the attention of the entire class. Near the very end of the period, it’s Taehyung who finally says something, leaning back in his chair to look at the two of you. 

“Jungkook didn’t have practice this morning,” he says. “He also didn’t shower because he slept in late. Or did you forget that, Jungkook?”

“And Y/N?” Nayeon chimes in from beside you. “Didn’t you run out of your perfume last week?”

Jungkook clamps his mouth shut. Your own heart stops. Suddenly, your face is burning intensely and Jungkook’s own cheeks are pinched a bright red as, slowly, the realization seems to dawn on the both of you. Chuckles emit from your friends as your Professor signals that the time is up. You don’t dare look at Jungkook as your Professor grades each potion, and then anxiously await the chance to dash out the door when your Professor claims yours and Jungkook’s potion was done just perfect. As soon as he moves on to the next pair, you have gathered your belongings and have darted out the room. You are nearly halfway down the corridor when you hear Jungkook calling after you, begging you to stop.

“Y/N! Hey, Y/N! Wait up, please!”

Your feet quicken in pace as you round the corner. Just when you think you’re free, you feel a hand clasp around your wrist and pull you back into a hardened figure. Jungkook. He’s standing so incredibly close to you now, his gaze softening as he looks you once over. You can only avoid his stare, though your eyes fall to the distraction that is his hand clamped around your wrist. 

“I really am not in the mood to talk right now, Jungkook,” You mumble. “Just leave me alone.”

“What else did you smell?” Jungkook asks.

His question makes you stop. It’s what causes you to carefully lift your stare to look at him.

“What?” You stammer. “What does it matter?”

“Just tell me, please,” he says, his grip tightening around your wrist. “I need to know.”

You could have shaken your head at him, pushed him away and walked off, but the longer you stare at him, the faster you begin to cave. Your mind is instantly brought back to just moments ago and the love potion that had filled your senses. As you think about all the lovely things you could smell, you whisper the answer in a sheepish voice:

“Strawberries.”

There is a split moment where all you can see is Jungkook’s beaming grin before he is pulling you toward him for a kiss that nearly sweeps you off your feet. You collapse against his broad chest, your hands flying up to bundle in his shirt and pull at him tightly as he kisses you and kisses you. You wonder why he had done so spontaneously but then it seems to hit you.

All you can smell on Jungkook, all you can taste, is lemon, grass, and strawberries. 

⟶ All rights reserved to © jungkxook. I do not allow reposting, translating, or any sort of modifying and reuploading of my work.

⟶ Feedback is always appreciated!

[thejustmaiden]

So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉

Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha

I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.

For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!

Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.

[Snippet 1]

I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.

[Snippet 2]

Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.

[Snippet 3]

LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?

That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢

After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]

Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!

It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷‍♀️

I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.

You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.

This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.

So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!

Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!

We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!

Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.

I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.

At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.

Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞

[custom-emojis]

hiyo, i keep feeling bad because i had a very toxic friend, and i'm fairly sure she had bpd and it was influencing how she treated me, but i've seen so many people with bpd say how people leaving them can be really hurtful, and i feel bad. i understand supporting people with bpd, but i feel like if someone is really putting someone else through shit, asking them to suffer through that just because the person had bpd would be wrong, right?

like, ofc bpd isn't evil, and neither are people who have it, but if someone is dealing with their illness by hurting others instead of focusing on their own healing, that's their fault and i feel like no one should have to stay with a toxic friend just for fear that if they don't they're being ableist because their toxic friend has a mental illness.

i'm not saying this is your belief, but it's the sentiment i've received heavily from a lot of the posts i've seen about people breaking off friendships with people who have bpd, and it made me feel bad for doing that to my friend because i start to think i should've tolerated her toxicity because she was struggling with her mental health, and i don't want to feel like a bad person for prioritizing my own. so... it wasn't wrong of me to do that, right? i know she was struggling and couldn't control what she was struggling with, but i'm not a bad person for not excusing that or forgiving her, am i? sorry, i know this is super random and if it makes you uncomfy i'm very sorry, i just thought since you have bpd, if you give an answer to it i would trust you, idk.

Anon. First off im going to tell you off the bat this was a very fucking shitty ask to send me. and as a warning for my followers: I WILL be unapologetically angry over this.

First off, anon, lets get the elephant in the room out of the way: anybody can leave any kind of relationship they want, for any reason. even if its NOT toxic or abusive, if you want to leave someone and they happen to have bpd. you're in your full right to do that.

now. with that out of the way: you say

"i'm fairly sure she had bpd and it was influencing how she treated me"

Now, 'fairly sure' isn't the same as 'she has bpd'. DOES she have bpd? or are you just ASSIGNING her bpd because she was abusive and controlling?

"like, ofc bpd isn't evil, and neither are people who have it, but if someone is dealing with their illness by hurting others instead of focusing on their own healing, that's their fault and i feel like no one should have to stay with a toxic friend just for fear that if they don't they're being ableist because their toxic friend has a mental illness."

first off, if your sentence starts with 'bpd isnt evil and neither are the people who have it, BUT" then thats probably not a good start. secondly, yeah. obviously. no fucking shit. if someone is being, you know. ABUSIVE. then they're abusive, regardless of their mental illness. and nobody should have to stay with them.

"i'm not saying this is your belief, but it's the sentiment i've received heavily from a lot of the posts i've seen about people breaking off friendships with people who have bpd, and it made me feel bad for doing that to my friend because i start to think i should've tolerated her toxicity because she was struggling with her mental health, and i don't want to feel like a bad person for prioritizing my own"

You sure as fuck made it seem like you think thats my belief. Heres a little tidbit for you: "Anybody can leave anybody they want, for any reason, regardless of anything" and "people who have BPD do find abandonment to be extremely upsetting and sometimes downright traumatizing" are sentances that can and do co-exist. Even so. Even if some weird ass people WERE ever actually implying that: that is ENTIRELY not my fucking problem. Literally. I do not know you. We are strangers. I am a stranger to you.

so... it wasn't wrong of me to do that, right? i know she was struggling and couldn't control what she was struggling with, but i'm not a bad person for not excusing that or forgiving her, am i? sorry, i know this is super random and if it makes you uncomfy i'm very sorry, i just thought since you have bpd, if you give an answer to it i would trust you, idk.

No! it wasnt! and also, I'm not your fucking therapist! Me off handedly mentioning i have bpd and that my fp left me is NOT me opening the doors to you traumadumping on me and asking invasive and uncomfortable things about my complex trauma disorder!

people fucking demonize cluster-Bs enough as it is, why the fuck should i have to essentially coddle you and take the fall as someone with bpd just because your abuser had it.

you didnt deserve your abuse, nobody does! but its not my fucking job as a random stranger running an EMOJI BLOG who just so happened to offhandedly mention my bpd due to the relevance to a video game, to be a monolith for all those with bpd and try to convince people who already hate us due to stigma the very basic concept of 'we can be hurt by things, and our pain can be extremely irrational. and thats kind of the entire fucking point of the disorder, the fact that its irrational and a whole Problem. but we are not inherently abusive because of this, and evenif our pain is irrational or unfair we are still allowed to feel that pain as long as we understand where its coming from and how to deal with it. and we're allowed to express that pain'

and then, even further ontop of that. I literally said said fp was bad. they hurt me in other ways.

this is all in all, one of the most frustrating asks i think ive ever gotten.

you're not ableist for leaving them but you sure as fuck are by sending me this ask

[tellywoodtrash]

Hi TT.

I'm the anon who came out to you. I briefly considered calling myself the queer anon but I think some people might take offense with that and I'm terrified of using pronouns or even an initial incase it can be traced back to me somehow. So I'm just going to call myself love if that's ok.

Sooo hi. Love here. I need someone to talk to again and my friend group basically abandoned me. I didn't even get to share who I am. All they needed to know was that I support the LGBTQ community and suddenly they " don't even know who I am". It's funny because they're right. They don't know who I am. No one does. And it's just so hard to live like this. I'm constantly terrified of being outed. I use vpns and I'm always on incognito mode but I'm also deleting my browser history 5 times a day just in case I missed something. I don't have anyone to talk to so it's super lonely. And what really sucks is that all of these changes happened just for me. No one around me has any idea that anything is going on. We go about every day just talking about things we normally used to talk about. It's just really frustrating to always have to pretend to be something I'm not. And to act like my life hasn't completely changed.

I just really wish I had someone special. To confide in. To seek confront from. To talk about the things that I actually love. Someone who would just accept me for who I am.

I don't really know what I'm hoping to get out of this message and I'm really sorry for rambling on. I just needed someone to talk to.

Thanks for always being supportive and super nice about everything.

Love

Hi Love!

I'm sorry that your friend group isn't fulfilling their purpose. It's neither their fault nor your fault, really. That's just life. We grow into different people and then the older parts of our life no longer fit into the new mosaic that we are. That doesn't mean that the time you spent with them till now wasn't meaningful. It is, and in a lot of ways, made you the person you are. But now, you're growing in a different direction, and that's okay.

I'd like to suggest you make more online friends. As one of the "olds", I've been on the internet since I was a pre-teen and made many a meaningful friendship on the internet; friendships that I have maintained to this day, 2 decades later. Some I've had the opportunity to meet in real life, some not yet, and some I know I shall not meet ever, due to the circumstances of life. But these people have been there for me through literally thick and thin and have always been a comforting presence who add value to my life. They've accepted the parts of me that I don't feel comfortable sharing with the IRL people in my life. Some of these girls I met right here on this blog, and they've grown into indispensable parts of my life. You just need to put bits of your authentic self out there, and reach out to the people who seem cool, and go on from there. Of course, all the safety rules matter (talk without exchanging personal details for the first few times, etc.), but this could be the start of a friendship that changes your life. Their distance from your real life also means that they'll be more supportive of you, and less torn about the other peer members and that kinda nonsense. So give it a try; find online spaces that you feel comfortable in, and reach out to the people you vibe with. I hope you find your tribe, sooner than later!

Sending you lots of love and hugs!!!!!!!!