#Sorry I tend to be very hostile at Anons

[kakusu-shipping]

I have no idea how it would feel to be in a real-life relationship. I never got the chance. Real people aren’t attracted to me. 😢

Not to be mean to you anon but why is it every time recently I reblog a post that's like 'Reblog and put in the comments' I get an anon ask telling ME their response.

Why not send this to the OP? Why not just reblog it like the post asks? Why self deprecate in my ask box? What do you hope to gain out of this interaction? What do you want me to say? How does one respond to such a comment?

Consider these questions next time you go to answer a post I didn't make in my ask box, please.

[catbread0]

Hiya, may I request a Sebastian Solace x (GN/fem)reader, where the reader had also went through urbanshade’s experiments to enhance mobility in the water or abnormal strength. Maybe it could take place a day or two before the whole lockdown where the reader is put in with Sebastian in hopes for trying to tame Sebastian’s bumbling rage and a companion (aka, another sentient being) in hope of keeping him under control.

Mayhaps as well when the whole lockdown does happen Sebastian goes to find the reader since they might have also been getting transported and they had more of a larger dose of the tranq (since Ik Sebastian faked being knocked out and someone had to smart enough to hear the gaur panic about it and gave reader and extra dose.). Just a smidge of angst.

Sorry if this doesn’t make complete sense, I tend to do that when I’m excited about something rush to put all my thoughts and ideas down 😭

-🌽 anon

Sebastian Solace x Fem! Experimented! Reader 

I loved doing this. Sorry for the late response. There have been so many requests since the last time I saw. Hopefully, you enjoy reading this.

(*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

Words: 3,148

Very OOC, mention of killing/death and drugs (anesthesia), a bit of angst, happy ending, a bit of comfort

All the information I found is from the official Pressure wiki, urbanshade.org!! NOT FANDOM WIKI (MOST STUFF ON THEIR IS NOT CORRECT, PLEASE CHECK THE OFFICIAL WIKI!!)(Note: I made this before the friendly fire update came out)

Sebastian Solace Masterlist

Beloved Companion

Document:

Z-##, codename: _________, real name “(Y/n)(L/n)”. Z-## has undergone experiments to enhance the ability to breathe underwater and strengthen humans. Z-## has successfully gained the ability to breathe underwater. However, their strength has also increased but only to a certain point that could break in half the body of a human. When added more DNA of stronger sea creatures, it seemed to stay the same no matter the animal. After that experiment was done, Z-## underwent another experiment that had DNA strands of sea creatures that are known to be calm and friendly towards sea creatures. However, due to most of the fish being small, it had a drawback, it decreased her height to 8 '2", she was originally 10' 1".

After the calm sea creature experiment, Z-## was put in containment cells for other experiments in Hadal Blacksite for a few days. Some include Z-317 (Eyefestation), Z-367 (Pandemonium), Z-283 (The Angler), and S-Q (Squiddles). All of the interactions with Z-## have been a positive outcome. The specimens have been calmed down and/or have been less hostile for a few days until Z-## is put back with them. 

Because of the variants of success with Z-##, her rank has been moved up to MR-P, and she was given more benefits with her rank being moved up. These benefits included: better living conditions, being allowed to roam the facility freely, and being involved in non-deadly testing. 

Recently, Z-13 (Handy Man) has been getting harder to control due to his anger and rage whenever he sees one of the scientists. We have debated if Z-## should enter Z-13’s containment cell. While Z-13 is also an MR-P, it is unpredictable if he would harm and/or kill Z-## due to the burst of outrage he has been having for the past week or so. In the end, it has been decided that Z-## will go into Z-13’s containment cell. If Z-## gets harmed, then Z-13 would be neutralized by any means necessary but not to the point of killing him. Then, Z-## would be taken out immediately and rushed to be checked up on.

The goal is that Z-## will hopefully calm down Z-13’s rage, just like the other specimens that have encountered her. This will also be a test to see if there could be a potential chance of them being partners to see how their human DNA mixed with the DNA of sea creatures in both of them, could affect genetics when it comes to their offspring.

End of Z-##’s current document.

You were roaming your spacious water enclosure when you heard your ‘name’ be called on the speaker in your enclosure.

“Z-##, please come outside your enclosure. You will be entering another specimen’s enclosure today. They are an MR-P just like you.”

You swam to the door that will get you out of your enclosure. You stood in the middle of two doors, the door behind you closed shut, and the water started to drain from where you were in between the doors. Once the water was fully drained, the door in front of you opened, and you entered the room.

 You followed the small scientist to where these new people you would be meeting today. You would wave to some of the scientists. It was a habit since you would always wave at the other sea people each time you met them in their enclosure. 

You soon arrived and stood in front of the glass window to the water enclosure. 

“Today you will be meeting Z-13. He recently has been having outbursts every time a scientist walks by or when they try to communicate with him through the intercom. You will be with him for 5 days and 5 nights, in the morning you will return to your enclosure. Then, later in the day, you are scheduled to have another experiment. If anything were to happen to you in Z-13’s enclosure, yell, and you would be taken out immediately. Understood?”

You nodded at the small scientist. You looked back through the glass window to try and find ‘Z-13’. To no luck, it looked empty in the water enclosure.

“I should warn you that he is bigger than most specimens you have encountered before. Z-13 is 10 '6".”

The small scientist stated that as you entered the door. At least they gave you a warning.

The door behind you was shut, and you were again in between two doors. The water slowly rose and filled the small room you were in to enter the water enclosure. The door in front of you opened once it was filled with water, and you swam into the enclosure.

The small scientist pressed a button that made the glass window no longer able to see through both ways. It was for Z-13 not to be outraged if a scientist were to accidentally walk by.

You swam around but still couldn't find Z-13. 

That was until you spotted what looked like a cave on the side of the wall near the floor, its entry was covered up in large seaweeds, making it almost hard to see it in the first place.

You swam into the cave, “Hello? Are you here?”

You soon see 3 blue eyes in the corner of the cave, and you jump a bit, not expecting that. You swam closer but stayed a few distance away.

“Hello, I'm Z-##, but my real name is (Y/n)(L/n). What is your name, Z-13? It would be nice to put a name to a face.”

Sebastian didn't answer. He thought you were just doing this because of the scientists forcing you.

When you realized he wasn't going to answer you, you waited on the opposite side of the cave and made yourself comfortable.

You kept talking about small things, like what you did before you were jailed, why you were put in jail, how nice the other sea people were to you, etc. Whenever you talked, you seemed genuinely happy every single time.

After talking, you started to think that maybe he thought you were annoying. 

“I'm sorry, I will leave if you are uncomfortable.”

You got up and started swimming the same way you entered since there was only one way to exit and enter the cave. 

“Sebastian, Sebastian Solace is my name”

You immediately paused, not expecting him to answer or talk to you at all. You immediately swam right towards him.

“That's a nice name. Can I see what you look like? If that's fine with you, of course.”

He was silent for a bit before pulling on his anglerfish lure.

Goodness, when you saw him, you felt something inside you, as if your heart skipped a beat.

He was quite handsome, at least in your eyes. But you shook that thought out of your head.

You both started small talks, but they would give brief replies.

Soon, the day would end. You slept on the opposite side of the cave, not wanting to invade his space.

Meanwhile, Sebastian would stare at you for a few minutes.

‘She'll probably ask the stupid scientists to take her away tomorrow’ he thought before turning off his lure and going to sleep.

The next day, he woke up to you gone, ‘I was right. It was stupid to think she would sta-’

“Oh, you're awake? I got your bucket of fish that the scientists brought. Here.” You said as you entered the cave and handed him the bucket full of fish.

Sebastian took the bucket but looked at it before eating it. He thought you put something in it before realizing you didn't. 

You talked, and he ended up opening up to you a bit more this time.

As some hours passed, you both were out of the cave and swimming around Sebastian's enclosure.

At some point, Sebastian was teaching you Spanish, or at least how he speaks Spanish since he's Chilean-American. Different countries speak the same language but say it differently.

You both ended up spending almost the whole day outside of the cave and returned to sleep.

On the 3rd day, he woke up and saw you sleeping. He went outside the cave and picked up both of your buckets of fish, and brought them back to the cave.

The whole day, you two spent knowing more about each other's life, your family, colleges you both went to, what classes you both majored in, and some of your talents. Sebastian even used some of the plants, rocks, and garbage he had lying around to make a prop that looked like an electric guitar and tried to teach you. 

You both laughed and smiled with each other almost the entire day.

Night came back more quickly than you both thought. You and Sebastian returned to the cave.

As you were getting comfortable to sleep in your corner, you felt a soft material cover your upper body.

“I snatched this when the scientists weren't looking while I was doing some janitor duties. Perks of being an MR-P.”

You gave Sebastian a warm smile and thanked him before falling asleep.

Sebastian didn’t want to admit it, but he felt happy when he was with you. You would listen to him, and it didn't feel like he was talking to the wall. Unlike those scientists, they only asked questions about his mutation and waited for a response from him to record it. 

Only caring about the progress.

On the 4th day, Sebastian woke up early and decided to pour some of his fish from his bucket into yours.

The scientists had seen this through the glass, during the night they decided to make the glass be 1-sided, they could see you but you couldn't see if they were there.

They saw this as a sign of success but also that maybe he was trying to court you. This made them think that there could be a possibility that you two could have offspring and they could continue their testing.

Later in the day you and Sebastian were messing around, he was trying to teach you how to ‘dance’. The dances were ones that he saw people dancing to at Chilean/Hispanic parties that he went to. It was a mess since you both didn't have legs to step on, but you both enjoyed each other’s attempts.

On the 4th night, you both moved closer to each other and slept peacefully. But both of you had your back to each other.

It was the 5th day, and you and Sebastian were getting closer to the end of your visit.

“Sebastian, I have to leave tomorrow morning, and after that, I'm scheduled to be experimented on. I'll make sure to see you after it's done”

After telling him you could tell he didn't look pleased, his ears and tail twitched.

“I am also scheduled to have an experiment done on me tomorrow. Maybe we will be able to see each other again right before it happens.”

You smiled when you heard that, “I hope we can.”

Soon, it was the next morning, and it was time for you to leave. You said bye to Sebastian and gave him a warm smile before you left. 

After a few hours, he was called out for his scheduled experiment. 

He was left in the surgery room and was given anesthesia. He pretended the effects had worked on him, but he was fully awake.

He heard the door open and close to his room, footsteps walking around the room, and heard the scientists speaking.

“After we are done with Z-13 we have to perform on Z-##, even if the chances of her dying is 75%, there is still a slim chance of her surviving and for it to be a success. It would be a great benefit for Hadal Blacksite.” One of the scientists said

“But she’s an MR-P. They are only allowed to be experimented on if it's non-deadly.” the second scientist asked.

The first scientist answered, “Well no surgery or experimentation is 100% safe. If she perishes, then we will start back on square 1 on another inmate.”

Sebastian felt his body fill with rage once again. Once the 2 scientists were close enough, Sebastian immediately killed them by slashing them with his claws. 

Sebastian immediately slithered out of his surgery room, and an Elite Guardsman was standing right outside. Just as the Elite Guardsman was about to shoot at Sebastian, Sebastian killed him and stole his keycard.

There were other scientists and guardsmen around as this happened. 

Everything went into chaos. 

People ran to escape, and guardsmen shot at Sebastian, but the bullets did not affect him, making some of them run away with the others. Desk’s, doors, tables, chairs, and the lights were either destroyed or thrown around.

Sebastian killed the Guardsmen who were shooting at him or trying to stop him. As he was doing this, he was trying to find your room to take you away before they could kill you.

Meanwhile, you were lying on the surgery table. You trusted the scientist who would perform on you since you are an MR-P. But also because you were always nice to them, helping them calm other sea people around the lab, always following orders, etc. 

How naive you were, or was it because of the fish's DNA that mixed with yours? It didn’t matter to them. To most of them, you were just a lab rat who benefited them.

As the scientist in your room gave a syringe of anesthesia, you both heard the sound of people screaming and things being trashed. That's when the scientist's handheld radio (or walkie-talkie) started making noise from the other end.

Blood-curdling screams could be heard loudly, “Z-13 HAS FEIGNED HIS EFFECTS OF ANESTHESIA AND IS ON A LOOSE KILLING SPREE. I REPEAT Z-13 HAS FEIGNED-” 

That’s all that was heard until the other end was abruptly cut off.

You sat up immediately, “Sebastian is wh-”

That's when the scientist gave you 3 more syringes of anesthesia quickly. They knew if Z-13 wasn't affected, then you mostly weren’t with just one. They were frightened with the idea that you would do the same. Your strengthened ability could break a human's body easily in half. They thought you would follow Z-13 and try to kill them.

You immediately fell off the table, from the sudden effects making you pass out. 

The scientist was about to give you another syringe again with anesthesia until Sebastian barged into the room. He finally found you but saw you on the floor unconscious. He saw the scientist who did this with the syringe in their hand. He immediately killed them, tore them up, and they were almost unrecognizable afterward.

Soon, the commotion died down and came to an end. It was only the two of you currently. Everyone who survived escaped or maybe died while running away.

Sebastian carried you in bridal style with his 2 arms and used the 3rd one to try and feel your pulse. 

He felt that your pulse was dangerously low.

He carried you out of the surgery room and went looking for other rooms. He soon found a vent that led to another small room. He laid you down carefully on the floor. 

He knew he couldn’t do much. It was just a matter of luck and time to see if you would wake up. Too much anesthesia could kill you or send you into a coma. All he could do was just watch and protect you from any further physical harm.

4 days have passed of endless waiting.

Sebastian watched over you, trying to find more things to make you comfortable, feeling your pulse from time to time, bringing in extra fish, or whatever snacks that were left behind by the scientist, and stored them on the shelves in the room in case you woke up from your coma.

During your coma, Sebastian used the keycard he stole earlier from the Elite Guardsman and released the monsters in Hadal Blacksite. Some of the monsters decided to help after being told what happened to you by killing the people who would enter to try and retrieve the crystal to get the place back into running its cruel experiments.

You slowly opened your eyes. It was pitch black. You didn't know where you were. That's when a sudden light lit up the room. (Sebastian’s angler lure)

“You're finally awake. You had me worried that you would leave me behind. I have food for you, go ahead and eat. I’ll explain what happened while you eat.”

You slowly started eating, still somewhat under the effects of the anesthesia that was steadily wearing off. As you were eating, Sebastian explained what he had overheard when he was faking about being under anesthesia, the killing spree he went on to find you, him releasing the monsters, causing the lockdown, you being unconscious for 3 days, etc.

You felt betrayal dig a small hole into you, but you also felt stupid for thinking they wouldn’t do that to you at some point no matter your rank. 

Sebastian helped you process everything and pat your back when you would choke on your food. Sebastian helped you all the time while you were still too weak.

After a few days, you started to become your old self again. You went to see some of the monsters and wandered into rooms you never got the chance to see.

You helped Sebastian set up his shop by collecting the items he accidentally found when he was trying to find files to blackmail Hadal Blacksite. 

After some months, you both started to gain feelings for each other. It took a while for the both of you to realize you felt the same way towards each other.

You both helped each other, you patching his arm, him protecting you from people trying to kill you because they mistook you for being dangerous, talking with p.ai.nter (Z-779) and spending time with each other in the shop while inmates buy things from the both of you.

You were glad that he saved you from your deathbed and glad you were both in a relationship.

You gave him one last kiss before you both went to sleep for the night. Already looking forward to tomorrow.

Bonus!

How you both learned you both felt the same was by accident.

You were visiting p.ai.nter, and you were talking to him until they accidentally mentioned that Sebastian likes you.

“Sebastian did tell me that he thinks that he has feelings for you, since when you were first with him.”

It was dead silent for a bit, both of you realizing what he said.

“Oops…”

He also made the same mistake with Sebastian, telling him you like him.

....Maybe it wasn't actually a ‘mistake’.

~Lilly's

[dualityvn]

Hello again! It's the same anon that asked about the situation where they would kidnap you from before.

How are you today?

(Feel free to ignore or just answer only a few of the questions!)

1.) Is this a heat of the moment choice or something they would plan in advance?

2.) Would this option be something they both agree with, or would one of them be against it?

3.) What method would they choose to kidnap you, and how would they restrain you?

4.) How would they react with us behaving hostile, acting indifferent as if it's a normal situation, reacting scared, or giving them the silent treatment when captive?

5.) How would they react if our will just breaks while captive?

6.) If we escaped, how fast would they find us, and how would both react if we return as if nothing happened?

7.) Can we gain their trust to get freedom again? And how would they react if we tried to escape from them again after gaining their trust if so?

(Can I be "✨🐇" anon, in case I ask anymore questions in the future?)

(Also, sorry for bombarding you with so many questions. I didn't want to spam you with so many, so I put them in one ask.)

Thank you for responding before! I enjoy yandere trope characters for the horror element because of how scary I find them the obsessive and possessive traits (especially the last one). I really like how your character gave me the spooks, but still, how sweet both can be at times! They make me want to learn everything I can about them.

Also, I had no idea about the spider plant at the time when playing, so I got extremely spooked by it/them!

I hope you have a great day/night!

Hi! I'm doing well. And oh boy, this is gonna be fun.

1.) This is something a crazed Keith would do spontaneously. He feels like there's no other way to keep you beside him, so he must use force. If he felt like he had time to plan it, he would. But when he's in this state, he's even more anxious than usual, so he might not wanna wait.

2.) Tenebris would be against it. He's not the type to force people to love him. If he ever managed to force his way out, he'd try to stop Keith or help you escape.

3.) He'd put a sedative in your drink, borrow a car from his parents and take you out to their vacation home, out in the mountains.

4.) If you were hostile, he'd act act sad and keep repeating that all he wants is for you to love him. If you were indifferent or silent, he'd act guilty and anxious. If you were scared, he'd be very doting and sweet to make you feel at ease.

5.) He'd be happy while he's in his crazed state, but once he snapped out of it, he'd hate himself.

6.) He would find you very fast, because as long as you're in the game, he can always know where you are. But if you managed to make it difficult and then simply returned, he'd snap out of his crazy state and start crying and begging for your forgiveness.

7.) If you acted nice enough, he'd eventually return to normal and let you go. If you tried to leave him again, the whole thing would repeat.

I'm glad you've been enjoying the horror aspects of my game! These two do tend to be sweeter than your average yandere, but they still have their messed up episodes.

[thedoover-if]

is this my first snippet haha? this got a little long LOL sorry but ill put it under the cut so your feeds arent clogged

little explaining of each here haha

first: you have a drink or more most days of the week. most times you hang around the club, the bartender has to cut you off personally and threaten their colleagues not to hand you any more drinks while they try to arrange a ride home for you

second: i think i responded to an anon's mail a couple days ago but youre kind of aloof, pessimistic and you tend to space out a lot (kind of not there mentally)

third: this MC doesnt spend many nights alone. very much a "no strings attached" kind of person now. they let loose, have their fun for the night and then move on and forget the next. they havent had that emotional bond with anyone since their ex-spouse. its going to be hard for the bartender and the patient to open up to this MC because they dont want to get caught up in that whole thing. by the time either of them take that step therell be heart involved but whether thats the same for the MC is the real question...

fourth: 'tell yourself something enough times, and you start to believe it'. the complete opposite of the second. this type of MC doesnt allow themselves much time to wallow. and they bounced back insanely quick after the divorce but can they keep the happy front up...?

fifth: shuts down every attempt of their friends and family tying to get them to open up. most people only know that the ex cheated and you divorced because of that. they refuse to re-hatch the past and instead of processing the divorce they just ignored it. its like it never happened. so when the ex-spouse shows up at their front step that will completely catch this MC off-guard but youll choose how to react

fyi the bartender's opinion on the ex being back in MCs life will completely differ between a 24/7 happy MC and an MC that refuses to talk about the divorce if that makes sense? they dont like the ex either way but like i mentioned theyre protective and they will be more or less hostile depending on how the MC coped

for the MCs who try to make the ex jealous with the bartender or the patient i want to let you know that by the end of the game you can have pretty much ruined your relationships/friendships with these people cause they wont stand for it

hope this makes sense!!!!!!

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

I've been struggling a lot with anxiety and depression about COVID. Only one person in my immediate family still regularly wears a mask, and even my friends and significant other don't often wear them. I feel like the most I've been able to do is continue to try to model good practice by masking most of the time, but I don't directly address the issue with anyone. I wonder sometimes if I should be distancing myself from friends and family that don't mask. I've felt really alone and hurt, because it seems like people don't care about making spaces safe for people who are immunocompromised. The most hope I get is from seeing people around me at the grocery store and on public transport who still mask. I've felt especially deep disappointment in the church, because I thought we were supposed to take care of each other and take care of those who society marginalizes, but so many people there have stopped masking too. I also feel a lot of anxiety that *I'm* not doing enough. Do you have any place you draw hope / comfort from when it comes to COVID issues? (I know this message is a lot of anxious thoughts, so no worries if you aren't able to respond.)

Ach anon, I'm sorry for the delay; this hits very close to home. I am with you in your frustration, your sense of isolation, your lament. This got really long, so my TL;DR is this prayer:

The Body of Christ has COVID.

The Body of Christ is immunocompromised.

Blessed are they who cannot go to church, because to do so would risk their health and lives, for God hears their grief; God holds them in their loneliness; God treasures their worship wherever it takes place.

Blessed are they who keep on masking — even when it feels useless, even when facing mockery or pressure — for theirs is the Kin-dom where the last are first, the oppressed are lifted high.

Blessed are they who mourn and rage against unjust systems, for they will be given the courage and strength they need to join God's revolution.

___

Now the long response. I feel your pain — especially your disappointment with faith communities that stopped requiring masks long ago — for so many of us (and it really is so many of us, even if distance and silence makes it easy for each person to feel like they're the only person hurt, the only person who gives a damn), that's been just the latest bead in a long string of disillusionment at human iterations of Church.

How indeed can we claim to follow the one who makes his home among those the world calls "least," when we fail the bare minimum steps at ensuring such people can at the very least enter our spaces without risking their health and lives??

It's a stark reminder that the Church as a human institution =/= the Body of Christ — and sadly, in fact, often makes itself hostile to that Body. We are called to prioritize, to center, to treat with greatest honor those parts of the Body that are most vulnerable (1 Cor 12).

It's no wonder so many of us end up seeking spiritual homes outside Church, when Church tends to center the very opposite kinds of people. Meanwhile, others stay, calling Church out for these failings and calling Church into a better way. (I personally find myself on a tightrope between those two options — taking frequent breaks from capital C Church to find spiritual nourishment beyond it, and to fuel myself to step back in and keep calling for that better way, as many times as it takes.)

___

I wish I had more comfort to offer, places I find encouragement. I'm definitely with you that seeing others masking out and about is huge balm to my soul. It's so easy to feel utterly alone in this, but we aren't! There are others who care, who are dong their small part, and it does matter!

...But mostly I just have shared lament — which is the soul's outcry that this is not how things are meant to be:

"[Lament is] an innate awareness that what is should not be. As if something is written on our hearts that tells us exactly what we are meant for, and whenever confronted with something contrary to this, we experience a crumbling. And in the rubble, we say, God, you promised. We ask, Why?" - Cole Arthur Riley, This Here Flesh

Make space for lament. Hold on to the truth that this really is not how things are meant to be, that God has promised something better — and that therefore, something better is coming! It is unfolding right now, every time one small person, one small community, chooses to believe that a better world is possible, and acts on that belief.

This truth in a better world is not shallow progressivism, the idea that the future will automatically be better than the past — we can look around and see how false that is! Assuming that things will just magically work themselves out lulls us into passivity.

No, this is a truth with teeth, with a loud voice, with feet and hands ready to join the Spirit's movement in making the arc of the universe bend towards justice, dammit, because it sure as hell won't bend that way by itself.

___

...Whoops, I'm rambling far beyond just masking lol— but the failure to keep masking seems like such a stark example of everything that is holding us back from justice that it's hard for me not to start thinking bigger!

When it comes to masking, you are doing your part. It's our wider communities that are failing — and I don't just mean individuals within those communities.

When I find my rage and despair about COVID directing itself towards individuals — whether that's churchgoers and colleagues, or close friends, or strangers I pass at the store — I try to remind myself that my anger and lament are better directed towards whole systems that are keeping us trapped in this horrific cycle of intentional ignorance or despair and isolation.

It's absolutely okay to feel hurt and frustrated by loved ones who don't hear us when we ask for their support. It does hurt! I wish it were easier to convince people to just wear a dang mask! And also, at some point we have to focus on what powers hold them captive, influencing their decision to go about their day as if COVID isn't still happening.

Why have people stopped masking — if they ever masked at all? Who profits when misinformation runs rampant? when people isolate for a couple days tops before heading back to work, still sick with a potentially disabling or deadly disease? when elderly and immunocompromised people, and people shoved away into nursing homes and prisons, and immigrants, etc. are left to die of COVID in private as everyone else goes about their day in a public with no room for such people?

And most of all, who profits when everyone feels so helpless about it all, resigned to COVID continuing far into the future, that they decide there's no point in them being the "only ones" to keep masking?

This isn't the post to carry on about those systems lol, but I do want to briefly name them so that no one can misinterpret what I'm saying into some conspiracy theory:

I'm talking about capitalism and fascism, about neoliberalism and nationalism and hyper-individualism. The systems that have allowed billionaires to become even richer during a global pandemic; that have allowed politicians to gain further control with an anti-vax agenda or by blaming one foreign entity or another for all our troubles; that have keep everyday people so exhausted and isolated and feeling so helpless that they don't have the time or energy to research fact over falsehood, or to take even small steps to protect themselves people they care about.

The failure to mask is a symptom — a major, deadly symptom, but just a symptom nevertheless — of the oppressive forces holding us all captive. I honestly don't know if remembering that just leads to more anger and grief, or whether it can motivate us to keep fighting those bigger evils. I think for me it depends on the day.

Sometimes I have a little despair session; I rant and rage against anyone and everything.

Then I pull myself out of that despair — or, more often, I allow someone to pull me out of it, with a suggestion for one tiny way I can make a change.

___

Sorry this is so long. Not sure how helpful it was, but I am with you, anon. I feel and respect all you are feeling.

And I'm so grateful for your continued masking, even when it feels like you're the only person left doing it — you're not, and it's not useless. Maybe someone who sees you masking will think about pulling a mask back on themselves; or even just that they're overdue for their next COVID booster. Maybe someone will see you and remember that some people do care about chronically ill people like them.

Keep on going; you are not alone. Solidarity forever <3

[drdemonprince]

your most recent article on asexuality& fetish touched upon some stuff i'd been thinking about for a long time now. (getting some more... hands on experience would help a lot, but queer(adjacent) avenues are... not kind to trans women doing that, but that's a story for another time.) especially the distinction between kink and fetish was one i'd not seen people make before which made me realize some of my stuff is definitely much more in the latter category.

poppers for one. i have an inexplicable liking for them (and much more that isn't pertinent here). which in itself is not an issue, but i'm not sure i'm liking that i like them. sometimes i feel they're a bit too... idk, it's not addiction, but more my relationship with them is kinda problematic, even though i'm very moderate in my partaking :/

Thanks for your message, anon. And I'm sorry that you haven't found avenues for exploring your fetishes more. It's true that a lot of queer spaces are really hostile to trans women. But please do not give up hope. Steer clear of the theyfabby wlw spaces, but if you are into women, keep you eye out for the ones that are more self-consciously transfemme organized and inclusive. Here in Chicago there's Strapped, for instance, a lesbian night run by lesbian trans women of color. Lots of furry and pup spaces tend to be less trans exclusionary and more gender diverse in general. There's lots of kinky trans women on Grindr specifically to find other trans women. I don't want to be pollyannaish or downplay how hard these things genuinely are, but I don't want you to give up hope either. There are people out there like you and increasingly more spaces to choose from. I hope you can find something near you that is worth giving a try.

Now onto the poppers question. If you're moderate in your usage, why do you dislike that you like them? Does it impede your life in any way? Is the primary problem (if I'm picking up on it correctly) that you kind of fear how much you like them, and that you worry that it could become addictive one day? Or that you feel you're using them in too escapist of a way? Or is shame about what turns you on?

Poppers are just about the mildest mind-altering substance imaginable; it's been used to treat period cramps and other similar health issues for decades and used to be available over the counter without much of an issue. (Leo Herrera's writing about the history of poppers is really good). And as highs go, it's over in an instant with almost no lingering negative effects. There are some conditions it doesn't mix well with, and there are some shitty brands out there that cause headaches, but I imagine that if using it was damaging your health in any way you would have mentioned it. So why is being turned on by them an issue for you?

If you want a cleaner headrush, there is always weed or hypnosis. But for a quick burst of euphoria and muscle relaxation without any hangover, poppers kinda can't be beat. Perhaps the best question is what has made you not like that you like them?

[caputvulpinum]

Holy shit, not only are you a thin wristed lil lady pretending to be a dude, but you think replying like a toddler to anon messages is "raising hell"

Thats the biggest self own ever you little dissociative disorder having lil gen z

I was wondering how well a fundraising scam on tumblr would go and you proved it'd be fantastic. 😘😘

I wonder if the reason you keep sending me asks is because I'm the only person who has shown that they're willing to pay attention to you and talk to you. How long has it been since you experienced anything like intimacy? How long has it been since someone told you they loved you? I bet it's been a really long time. I bet that one day your parents stopped telling you they loved you and didn't try and call you. I bet that one day you realized you haven't heard from pretty much any of your friends from school, the relationships you were certain you'd be lifelong. I bet that you've spent a lot of your life feeling like everyone hates you or, if nothing else, simply does not care about you. A complete lack of recognition.

And so you come onto a microblogging platform and say racial slurs at me because I've shown that I'm willing to respond to what you say, no matter how dismissive I act, but I'll still respond, and any attention is attention that you didn't have before.

People like you and me tend to struggle with suicidal ideation. It kinda just comes with the territory of it all, y'know? Anon, I want you to know that I'm not going to tell you to kill yourself. I just want you to know that the little voice in the back of your skull has never been wrong. It has all, always, been entirely your fault, and the reason that people never want to stay in your life is because you are a miserable and hostile person who poisons everything they touch. Your parents hate you for good reason, you're single--or will become single in the near future--because no one sees anything in you worth intimacy, and there will never be anything for someone like you except for trying really really hard to upset trans people online, and I'm sorry to say it but you're not actually even successful at that, either.

I'm not going to tell you to kill yourself, Anon. It brings me far more satisfaction knowing you've still got several decades to go of remembering what I've said to you today. I'm genuinely so glad you reached out, Anon, because you'll never be able to really forget anything I've said here. I'm sure you're going to try and dismiss it and laugh it off--in another Anonymous message, of course--but you're not going to forget it. Every single time anything bad happens in your life, you're going to remember me telling you it was your fault, and you can disbelieve it all you want, but I'm going to sleep easier knowing I've poisoned not just every moment of genuine despair but every moment of possible happiness. You're going to second guess yourself forever no matter how much you try and pretend otherwise.

I love you, Anon. I hope you live the sort of life I think you deserve, and I hope that you live a very, very long life.

[byghostface]

Hey. I’m on anon right now but I’m not here to hate or anything so I’ll probably take it off. Edit: I will now, knowing I’ll make my account vulnerable, but if you don’t agree then please just don’t awnser the ask, I don’t want to get hateful things in my inbox for this. Please?

You’ve mentioned things that I’ve said in the past and things that I was actually wrong about and yeah, I’m sorry about that but can I be honest? I’m tired. I’m tired of fighting all the time. I’m sick of disourse and this constant war between Damijon shippers and Daminika shippers.

I am so over it. Daminika shippers are mean and Damijon shippers are mean. We are both mean, why? Cause we’re extremely defensive. I’ve seen what you guys have to put up with on twitter by Damijon shippers and I hate it. I hate it so much and because of that, Daminika shippers will migrate from twitter to tumblr with the same idea that Damijon shippers are the same way, we aren’t but with that idea, came attacking, and having to stay on defensive constantly. It’s exhausting, I got bitter and hateful, I know I got bitter and hateful and a lot of you will get bitter and hateful too.

We should both be allowed to nurture safe places on the internet where we share content of the ships we like without feeling the need to diss each other or be at each other’s throats or feel like we’re doing something wrong.

I’d rather that. I have attacked people in the past. I have been rude, mean, on the defensive and I am spent. I don’t want to do this forever, it’ll do some serious damage to both of our well beings and online drama should never be worth that.

So I’m asking for a truce? At the very least, we stop being on the offensive and stay on defensive, we stop generalizing each other and start leaving one another be? Or we could stop posting about the other ship entirely or make both our spaces welcome to the other ship.

I like your art. I reblogged some of it and wanted some of it on my page and some of my mutauls who ship damijon reblog it as well but you stated you don’t want Damijon shippers interacting with your page, and honestly I respect that so I stopped and told my mutuals to stop as well… but… still we both tend to be hostile to each other, I think it’s just really sad to try and seek community where other people like the same things you do and find this instead. This type of culture is toxic. A good friend of mine is a Daminika shipper and they hate Damijon but I still love them so I know it’s possible, no ship is good enough to have to put up with this constantly, not even Damijon after years of shipping them. I just want some sort of common ground. So truce?

I still stand by what I said, I don't want damijon shippers to interact with me, and I don't want to surround myself with people I do not feel safe or unclear and trouble me for days.

We are both defensive, you are in a pre-existing fandom. And I'm in a new fandom. I want Flatline's fandom to be good and progress naturally with more supportive fans without overlapping big fandom to keep coming in dunked-on/talking over the content we have and enjoy, with the far-fetched fanon that doesn't even make sense with her character in the comic.

Most of the Flatline fans/ daminika fans are from Twitter because they found out about Nika through there and how we keep talking about her positively and defending her daily since 2021. They are already discouraged/intimidated by Tumblr people and how forgivable this place is by the large amount of ppl with proshipping, with "complex relationships" fanon that overshadows/damaged characters. I just happened to post art here from the beginning to stick it through and stay in my tags.

You said I generalized things, and you do the same by putting yourself into the said generalized things to defend them and create tolerate ground and bring more people from your space to talk over daminika shipper and being annoyed that we want to talk solely about the canon content or any problems we have.

People with different ideas exist. And not everything is about you, if you don't do the bad/hateful things then maybe let daminika shippers speak about our frustration without the need to come in to beat us down and gloss over the issue like it doesn't exist (when we do have ppI here seen the hate towards Flatline is real and constant from damijon shippers). It's your side of the fandom that constantly caused problems for us, and you still vouch for all like it was nothing.

Now, Nika is in the process of a relationship with Damian, as a daminika shipper I enjoyed their interaction while I could and created fan content for them. But it's not so enjoyable when some of you talk like they are going to break up in the future(so Damian can date Jon Kent). Like why do you want Nika to fail so soon in your own fanon? And villainize her when she is just a 15-year-old girl currently trying to figure out things? Like what was the reason?? (want Damijon to eventually happen that's why). When you could just write your damn fic and live in your own fanon without including her, since you will still prioritize damijon and tools her(for canon validation) in the end.

I hate it when ppl mix around the characters just for shipping out of spite and do not consider their age and current circumstances. Like the respawn x flatline things damijon shippers created months ago, and now I see ppl want to ship jondaminika…like give me a break for fuck sake. Why is a college student squeezed between two high school freshmen? Like get his grow ass out of there, I don't need ppl pushing their damijon thoughts onto Nika just so they can cope with that damijon ship is not canon and with canon age gaps!!

All I ask for is to leave Nika alone and let her have time to grow and wait for the comic to explain itself (I trust Williamson because he is her creator and clearly still have plans for her).

I'm tired too. These ship fights are too early for Nika. She's not even breaking up with Damian. Damian is not yet getting a second canon love interest any time soon, Nika is not developed enough to get her own second love interest, and I'm here fighting with none-canon shippers with pre-existing fandom. Trying to save a space for ppl who just want to root for Nika or enjoy daminika contents.

Like I can not stop what you want to ship but how hard could it be to ship different ships separately and look at them in different worlds without interfering with one another? And how hard could it be to leave me alone when you disagree with me personally when I speak my frustrations?

I really don't know how you managed your fandom cuz I never went into or tagged damijon tags, and you had me blocked for months before this(for your safety or my safety I genuinely don't know). You said you respect my boundaries and I'm grateful for that but I have heard something you have done to other fandom and see some of your post screen shots from my friends about how you talk about them. You've done a whole lot before I can even finish a drawing.

I do hope you have changed cuz you said you don't want to do this hateful things forever(so am I) and you like my art, but I need you to hear this: I do not feel any comfort with you or any of your friends around me. I think it's best for us not to interact with each other, and this is just me speaking.

Let's keep our social distance, stay six feet apart and stay in our own ship tags, the best truce I can think of.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, hi

I choose to ask you this because you’re one of the most sane voices here. I got into BTS and KPop very recently (2022 Dec) and was consuming all kinds of available content (Run BTS, fancams, concert videos, shipper narratives) and fell in love with Jungkook and Jimin. You can say I am double bias.

From what I saw in the content I consumed, both JK and JM are very popular but JM was more popular (Idols bible, face of Kpop being some titles given to him). But then, I started seeing him diminish around dynamite era? And I have lurked on few blogs here who think the same. They think that the company forced Jimin to step back.

After what I’ve seen happen to Jimin during and post Face release, I am inclined to believe that the company actually never wanted him but only retained him because they also could see his power. Now that BTS are the best boy band in the world, Jimin doesn’t really matter and it breaks my heart so much to see that. I am Happy for Jungkook getting all these opportunities but it leaves such a sour taste in the mouth because everything evil that was hurled at Jimin is kind of what could apply to JK (I’m really not saying he should be targeted, I love Jungkook. but his fans literally collaborated with pinks to hate on Jimin).

Sorry, this is turning into a long ask/vent post. I have no hope that Jimins second album will get any kind of support and he will still get as much hate and it makes me wish he wasn’t a part of BTS, a group I got to love.

***

Sigh Anon,

You say you're a new fan so I'll skip most of what I want to say and be extra brief. I'll ask you three questions.

Did you know that until very recently, many people in the fandom, solos and not, were absolutely convinced PDogg had it out for Jimin? Yeah, P - "Park Jimin will end k-pop in 2023" - Dogg. They somehow reached the conclusion that BTS's main producer secretly hated Jimin and sabotaged him with hard-to-sing lines or hatefully prevented Jimin from singing at all. You'd often see them cite PDogg refusing Yoongi's offer of gifting People to Jimin for him to sing as a solo track. I've lost count of how many PJMs hated PDogg's guts based on those theories who are now singing PDogg's praises (though a faction still hate him for the autotune use, because we know Jimin had absolutely no say in the creative process and it certainly wasn't his idea, based on his interviews /s). I wonder what you think about that fan theory now and if that tells you anything about how fan theories are made.

With the little you've seen and know of Jimin so far, do you think he would sign up (a second time) for a work situation and relationship which is hostile to his growth as an artist and as a person? You say you've been following the FACE promotions so I wonder if you've watched all Jimin's interviews where he talks about the process and how the company/producers got involved.

Are you old enough to work in a corporate setting? Because even watching BTS's official content might not be enough for some people to get the full picture if they have little understanding of what healthy team dynamics look like in a work relationship to begin with. I think it's unlikely you're in this bracket of people Anon, but I'm asking just in case because most of the questions, theories, or concerns about mistreatment and favouritism in BTS can be dismissed just on the knowledge of how teams work. This ask I responded to on the 2022 Festa Dinner shows as much.

Feeling discontent with Jimin’s roll-out is totally valid. But it’s also possible you’ve found your way into the fandom spaces that traffic in mistreatment theories for the members you bias, typically solo stan and manti spaces, that new fans tend to fall into. I suggest you spend more time listening to Jimin, not his stans and not me. (But if you have follow-up questions I’ll try to answer.)

Goodluck.

[abyssalpriest]

hi there! sorry for anon (I'm too shy to show myself) but I had a dream involving Leviathan last night I think.

In the dream I was playing a video game that was like a cross between dishonored and stellaris(?), and I was mostly just clicking around trying to figure out how to play, and I ended up in this area that was called a word I don't remember or recognize but the subtitle was "domain of Leviathan". I remember thinking oh that's neat but when I stepped out of my ship in the dream I was constantly taking damage no matter what I did so I panicked and quit the game, and that's when I woke up.

So. Yeah. Thought you might be interested, haha. Hope you're doing well!

Oh hello! No problems for anon, it's there for a reason - also real shit who WANTS to show themselves off anon nowadays on this website, i swear its so hostile lmfao. Anyway!

I wouldn't be surprised if it was him, or some part of him reaching out. I make the distinction of parts because as much as his individual energies and limb-esque bodies are indeed parts of a whole, and I wouldn't say "part of someone patted you on the back, their hand" if. someone patted you on the back, it might just be a case that it wasn't as lucid and obviously him literally talking to you speaking a clear message because it wasn't his straight up conscious mind coming at you.

I can definitely say, especially because I'd just queued on wordpress earlier a meditation with him taking me through a Mental space (same substance dreams take place in) reflection of an area in Bloodborne (and dishonored gives me bb vibes lbr), he uh. yeah he likes his fiction a lot, he speaks through fiction and sound very commonly. He does tend to stick something that stands out related to him in these - dreams, visions, whathaveyou, but especially dreams and hypnagogia - definitely sounds like it could've been him reaching out!

Or. well. I won't say reaching out, could be that he was already there and was making himself known

Honestly all through this ive been feeling like I should say it;s him and im not getting a "its not me" feeling from him, but i like letting people make up their own decisions and i am not infallible so the rest of the reply is staying up lmfao

Definitely interested! Thank you so much for sharing, I do love to hear about him (and honestly I was noting myself earlier that yeah, no one talks about that name of his online so. yes. a little snack for me. thanks!)

[m1d-45]

And you, teddy anon (and midas ofc), never fail to come up with scenarios that my mind is all too happy to jump on. ❤️

Imagine then, after the Creator has finally been rescued and tended to, they finally wake up after sleeping for a very long time, they see that they’re in a painfully familiar, urban place. Upon realising that they’re not in, say, a hilichurl camp or are otherwise in the wilds, they panic and scramble to try and leave (they think that they’re still being hunted). Then in comes one of their characters (or they bump into them in a corridor or sth).

Off the top of my head, I see a few directions that this could go:

1. Creator tries to plead with the character to let them leave, or are otherwise trying to find an opportunity to escape. Due to their panicked state, they interpret their character’s gestures as hostile or are otherwise trying to trick them into lowering their guard. Maybe they were betrayed by someone (or that one in particular) during the hunt (I can see characters like Kaeya and Ayato doing this) and they’ve been very guarded against similar tactics since. Bonus points if they have the ability to teleport like the Traveler does.

2. Creator tries to defend themselves with their budding elemental power that they are just starting to learn to control.

3. Creator outright gives up. They shake their head, thinking themself foolish for ever believing that they could escape forever, that this was their just desserts for even trying to defy fate. They smile at their character and tell them that they win, and to go ahead and end them. More likely if said character had been extremely persistent in hunting them (e.g. Kaeya). Imagine then that they’re bracing themselves for the final blow, but then they feel warmth. They open their eyes in shock and realise that the character is hugging them close, whispering, “I’m sorry”, or “Forgive me” over and over again. Maybe the character even cries a little.

- cryo anon, whose brain can actually come up with fluff occasionally

oh my god cryo anon my dearly beloved

they’re kinda just merged together because i kinda went off so

you maybe waking up in the estate, sitting up on shaking arms. you don’t remember much, mostly just a blur; thoma shouting at you, a white kimono and a sharp, commanding voice. the details are a haze, and the room you’re in is unidentifiable. there’s a potted plant in a white and purple vase, a dark wood closet, the sheets soft- or maybe they’re not, and you’re simply used to dirt and scratchy sacks?

you don’t know. you have a headache. the door opens, and you delay so long in turning that the person has a chance to shout something down the hallway—does wonders for your migraine—before coming in. when you do look, you wish you hadn’t.

ayato is the last person you want to see on inazuma. you’d met him once before, banged up and hiding near inazuma city. he’d seen you, you thought, seen your blood, your dirty bandages and knotted hair, and you thought he’d known that you couldn’t be a threat.

you didn’t hear what he said, but you pull away from his hand when he reaches for you anyway. where are you? why are you here? your hands were wrapped, your aches had ceased, the room is cool and his eyes are warm-

“i mean no harm,” he says quietly, but all you can think of is the past, of the bustling streets behind him when he found you tucked in an alley, bruised and bleeding.

you don’t want to believe him. you don’t anyway.

if it weren’t for the fact that your legs were broken, you would have run away.

[atlasofthestaars]

another amazing chapter!! i would honestly love a movie marathon with them <3 and i love the focus on johnny this time, he's really just a guy with a good heart! bringing reader a blanket and a pillow :((( liu kang at the end there ....... hes so in love with the reader wtf ?!#$??!"? and bi han showing he cares in the most hostile way possible 😭😭😭 bxnsnsnd the only reason i dont want mileena as a love interest is bc i really wanted to see how you would explore her and tanyas dynamic :") kitana as a love interest tho..... thats wife 🤭 and ik this is getting long, but i have a couple questions; do you have an outline for the whole story prepared or is it being changed as you go? since you said adding shang tsung as a love interest would alter the story a bit? and (if it spoils anything, dont worry about answering!) how would you plan on ending it since reader's got a reverse harem going on? do you plan on giving reader an endgame with someone? again, sorry this got a bit long!

(p.s. can i be ☄️ anon? i plan on sticking around for the whole story hehe expect me after every chapter bcus ive subscribed to it on ao3 🫡)

Thank you so much! A movie marathon would be wonderful with the champion squad, but I can imagine how chaotic the emotional whiplash it could get if they all got to chose movies. Like imagine going from a lighthearted rom com to like??? A dark and gritty action movie LMAO I enjoyed writing for Johnny this time around, but I do worry I made him a bit (?) Out of character for his characrer progression, but I'm glad you enjoyed him nevertheless aha ^^ I did really like writing him as a dude who just means well, since he really just is that! Liu Kang is definitely feeling SOMETHING for the reader HAHA Mr. Fire God catching feels? Or is he just really nice 👀? Bi-Han struggles with showing he cares, but he really does. If only there was a therapist character to help him though HAHA Oh I definitely get why you'd want that! Mileena and Tanya's dynamic was interesting for me in this game, so I will have fun portraying that if she doesn't get voted in. If she does, uh, I'll definitely have to figure out what to do LMAOO I love Kitana 🙏 She's my fave female chara and my main in Mk1 !!

I don't mind it being ling at all, I love reading stuff like this and being able to interact with you all!! I don't know many people in my personal life who are willing to hear me obsess over Mortal Kombat like this HAHA

I do have a rough outline of the general story! As well as more defined plot points I like to hit within the arcs of the story. For example, I consider the part of the story we're in to be like the training/pre Outworld arc?? And I have certain moments with characters I want to hit before we move on with the plot! Of course, I am a very impulsive person so I leave it open and easy to change if needed. Events that happen later also tend to change to better fit the flow of the story, but I generally know the direction I want to head with everything.

I plan on giving every love interest an ending (think like endings in mortal kombat for each character!) So ideally I'd like to give each character their own unique ending/epilogue with the reader! People on AO3 also have requested a harem ending which I am open to making, but can't gaurentee due to characters like Shang Tsung. I mighttt make one without certain characters depending on how it all ends, one with everyone, or not one at all! I don't want to stress too much over that right now so that one is still up in the air whether I'll do it or not (especially since we've like, barely started ahaha)

And you can be ☄anon!! I'm happy to hear I have your support on this journey <3 and ty for supporting me there too! I love to see all the feedback from everyone, so I will happily await any comments you make! Thank you again for your kind words and support!

[yooniesim]

Hey loves! I've had a few days to rest and think about things, and thankfully I'm in a much better headspace than I was then. So now that I'm clear headed, I just wanted to make a post to explain a bit more about what's been going on and what will happen with my blog in the future.

First;; the situation with corpsetrait. For those that don't know, I addressed this briefly while on my hiatus a few days ago. I was going through some pretty heavy stuff both online and IRL with myself & my family (several of which being hospitalized), to the point where I was simply not in a place to deal with any of this. I was trying to avoid being online in any way due to continued bigoted harassment to the point of doxxing, and I have a firm dislike of any content from anonymous hate websites, so my first instinct was to stay out of this online issue and tend to myself and my family until I could research the issue properly. I think that would've been fine with just tumblr, but due to me also having a large server with that being as a member, it painted a picture of enabling that being and caused discomfort and hurt to others within the server. Due to my own problems, I couldn't see this, and eventually had a meltdown to be honest. I was dissociating heavily from fear & pain and did just about anything I could to try to get it to stop, from lashing out to excessive apologizing. There are posts in my drafts you will never see & some of them I barely remember writing. I recently privated several posts I made during it, as well as spoke to Veone & apologized to her for my actions and how I spoke to her, because it was inappropriate. She accepted my apology and acknowledged that I wasn't in the right mindset to respond properly, which I'm very thankful for. Dollie/Corpsetrait has been kicked from my server since Saturday and has also deactivated rots simblr & main blog as far as I'm aware.

Second;; speaking of the server. At first, I had the intention of closing the server completely, and most of the members were kicked. But I've decided instead to clean it up and make it a better place, for those that wanted to stay. Thus, there have been a few changes. The tea-chat channel, which was originally intended just for petty complaining and silly happenings on simblr, was closed. Too many hostile arguments over unrelated topics were happening, and to be frank, it was verging away from petty and into disrespectful. It should've never been a place for political arguments or name-calling. It was also far too difficult to moderate properly with the amount of mods I have and the personal problems I was going through. And I'm truly sorry for that and anyone that was hurt by the discussions that took place there. I've since modified the rules of the server to disallow disrespectful arguments of any kind or insults against members of the server or people on simblr. There's also a warning and ban system in place to aid in moderation. The server is now private due to raid attempts, but those that want to join are welcome to DM me or send me an off-anon ask for access. I don't blame any former members for leaving and if they ever want to return, they're welcome to.

Third;; the future of my blog. Although I've never been shy about sharing my opinion, it's become... frankly, exhausting. There's a lot of bad shit on simblr, and at the same time, simblr is fickle- especially with anyone it expects to hear opinions from, and the right opinions at that. And I've never felt more jaded with it than I have in the last few days. Although many reactions were justified, some of what I've seen said about me has been so vile and sickening, and even outright untrue, that it was almost worse than what I've seen on other websites that simblr thinks it is above. All accepted with no proof, and little sense of empathy. No one is obligated to empathize with another person, but in the absence of that, all I can beg is something that I've been telling you since I've been here: don't take information at face value or opinions as fact, and consider the bias and perspective of your sources of information. I'll be reminding myself regularly to do the same, and think deeply about what I post before I post it. Because it's far too easy to fall deep into a sea of negativity and lose yourself and your kindness in the process. My voice won't be gone completely, there are still issues in the community that are important to address from time to time, but I don't want that to be a main focus anymore. From now on, I want to concentrate on what this blog was created for: the sims! And just more positive content in general. Because I don't like what it (or my persona on this platform) has become currently. It's hurting me, it's hurting others, and that needs to stop.

Finally;; thank you to those that have messaged me and shown me compassion through these past few weeks. It's meant more to me than you may ever know. It's one thing to say you support those suffering, especially from harassment and with mental illness; it's another to actually do so when they're showing unpleasant symptoms and sides of themselves. No one is ever obligated to show that support or accept an apology from someone that has hurt them, so I consider doing so at all to be an act of kindness. And such acts kept me from spiraling further in one of the darkest periods of my 28 years on this earth. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

[thesilverlady]

https://www.tumblr.com/thesilverlady/714253266548047872/unpopular-opinion-i-dont-think-that-aegon-was-a

Not same anon, but septon Eustace was said to document the sexual rumours/scandalous but unlike Mushroom he didn't like writing about it or exaggerated it. So Eustace said that as a teenager Aegon was sulky, lazy and had wondering hands. Now this is pretty much SA by our modern standards but sadly these things are normalised in Westros. I think many parts of Aegon's upbringing, childhood, and Adult life are left ambiguous for us to interpret (just like many parts of f&b) So the question if this kind of behaviour has developed to rape is left to the reader to determine. And i like to not take Mushroom's account of this whole 12yr girl giving him blowjob *ew* because in the original novel (The princess and the queen) it has mentioned that Aegon was with his mistress and he refused to usurp Rhaenyra at first. My main problem of this whole situation is that people keep assuming the worst of Aegon for some reason

And i am not saying that Aegon was kind of a feminist man lmao but to me he is very tame compares to other characters. because a lot of these people who draw the line at Aegon actually love characters who are waaay problematic than Aegon like Aemond who keeps calling Rhaenyra a whore 24/7 , Helaena a broodmare, killed Alys's whole family and then claimed her as a war prize, commit what we can consider a genocide in the riverlands. Or they love Maegor (i love Maegor btw) who was a tyrant and forced women to marry him then killed some of them because they couldn't give him sons. I think we can all like characters regardless of their morality because at the end of the day they're fictional not real so liking only heroic morally good characters is just soo boring ( i prefer villains more) but i hate how the fandom tends to humiliate people over what fictional character they find more interesting. And thank you for being one of the tiniest minority who is willing to engage in discussions rather than being hostile like most of team green/black spaces.

I wanna say I'm sorry for the long reply 😅 but you brought up lots of interesting facts and I couldn't help myself with replying longer.

So, let's start with the "Eustace was said to document the sexual rumours/scandalous but unlike Mushroom he didn't like writing about it or exaggerated it" Eustace, like so many other maesters we see in f&b is extremely biased. I think due to Mashroom's dramatic self lots of ppl feel safer with relying on septon Eustace and I don't think that's a great idea.

Lots of maesters we see from f&b are very sly with pinning the blame to women, especially when showing favoritism for a man. They're also very anti magic and generally anti Targaryen. It makes reading f&b quite challenging because it's easy to just fall into their biased perspective. But you can see the transition during Jaehaerys I ruling, who of course was probably their favorite due to him complying more and more with the faith.

So what I'm trying to say is, while septon Eustace hardly had any love for the targaryens he still favored Aegon II - a man. Who he wouldn't want to bring out such scandalized actions mostly because what would it say about him? A septon siding with such a lecherous king?

don't get me wrong. I still don't buy mashroom's version of that event but I still think the truth was somewhere in the middle and Eustace tried to make it look better for the sake of his own self image and then the king's.

Obviously Aegon's actions in regards of women are more dismissed inside the world of asoiaf despite being punishable because of his status as a prince/king.

Of course as you said many parts of Aegon's upbringing/childhood/adult life are left ambiguous and left for us to interpret just like with many other characters such as Rhaneyra/Aemond and many more.

However there are lines here and there that do help our interpretation. For instance, one of the reasons why I'm not overly fond of making show!Aemond some poor victim of bullying who grows up to be self-restraint man of wisdom is because that's not him. A targaryen prince like himself wouldn't get bullied like this, there's no reason for his brother to side with his nephews that are alledgedy favored by his father instead of his own blood and when the family dinner later happens we get the line that Aemond "remained a wild and willful child, hot-tempered and unforgiving". The word "remained" implies that he was like that in childhood, so the show version falls apart.

"in the original novel (The princess and the queen) it has mentioned that Aegon was with his mistress and he refused to usurp Rhaenyra at first"

here we fall into a problem that comes from grrm being unable to often keep up with his own story. I don't blame him because the world of asoiaf is massive but we should be used on events contradicting one another.

these characters are quite new compared to the ones we know. The Princess and the Queen was published in 2013, its prequel The Rogue Prince in 2014 before they were both expanded further in fire and blood which was punished in 2018. So, personally I prefer going with the latest version because I think that's more reliable with what George wants the readers to know.

So while the Princess & the queen may have used the word mistress, f&b used the word paramour. And in both versions we never see a mention of this girl ever again. A paramour/mistress to a prince wouldn't be dismissed that easily in my opinion, which is what prompts me to believe Eustace came up at the spot that the girl was that as a cover. Aegon refusing to usurp Rhaneyra exists in f&b too.

"My main problem of this whole situation is that people keep assuming the worst of Aegon for some reason"

I mean.... I don't blame you here 'cause you're right 😅 My humble opinion is that Aemond for example is waaay more unhinged and dangerous than Aegon but for some reason Aegon is treated like he's Satan. I completely agree with everything you said. The fandom is filled with bunch of hypocrites. I too actually love Maegor but I don't pretend like it wasn't mentioned he raped women. At the same time, I have moots on twt who love joking about him and praising but then they'll cause wwiii if they see a semi-positive tweet about Aegon II.

in the end of the day, it doesn't even matter if Aegon ii was an actual rapist or not. Back before hotd even existed and some minority argued against Rhaenyra, the word "rape" wasn't even brought up because there were a bunch of other reasons to explain why a reader didn't support Aegon or the Greens. Team black and team green now throw words like "rape" or "grooming" as a gotcha and to be shitty at fans who enjoy dark characters

"I think we can all like characters regardless of their morality because at the end of the day they're fictional not real so liking only heroic morally good characters is just soo boring (i prefer villains more) but i hate how the fandom tends to humiliate people over what fictional character they find more interesting."

I completely agree with you and I feel for the hurt lots of people go through in this fandom. I also adore villains, and favor imbalanced dynamics between ships, which of course brings the nastiest antis to humiliate and shame you all day everyday.

Both team green & team black have many bad apples. idk about tumblr but Twitter has been hell for me - which is why I'm taking a break from that place.

I'm very happy you feel comfy to send me an ask and don't feel hesitant to reply if you wish. Even if we don't agree with something, I get the sense you're one of the normal people who understand this is just fiction and there's no need to become aggressive animals over characters that are ink on a page.

[dreamnotnapss]

I think Georgebur is a nice little ship. A lot of people are hostile about the ship so feel free to ignore if its not one of the ships you allow ((Sorry!)) I like that they’re mild mannered on the outside and incredibly kooky on the inside. They both have different flavors of former fuckboi energy. George being a lives in sweats, former coder London hypebeast and Wilbur being a formerly, far more pretentious weirdo artist. They’re on the same 26 year old former fuckboi to mcyt to functional adult pipeline and they go on dates and kiss. ❤️

anon i apologize profusely i said dtqk+ but georgebur is absolutely allowed! i too have noticed that people tend to be hostile about the ship, but i agree, it is a very lovely ship! i've been following along with it ever since george and wilbur impersonated each other that one tommy stream in 2020 :')

describing their chemistry as being on the same "26 year old former fuckboi to mcyt to functional adult pipeline" tho is the funniest thing i've ever read about georgebur and it's killing me that you're not actually wrong about it

i have many things to say about georgebur, but i will hold off for the sake of not writing a whole essay lol but i WILL say how sweet it is to see that wilbur and george miss each other, being in separate countries (well not rn ig, since wilbur is touring!). i'll never get over how fond wilbur sounded when describing how he can tell george misses him :') they're such a cute pair

[dae-rise]

1st anon you answered here again - Thank you for the article links, I'll deffo check them out. Apologies as well for the assumption that you might not have considered poverty/indigenous ppl etc, as it's not something you can tell unless it's mentioned or known in person.

I think i'm so used to seeing people who are vegan to be on the extreme ends of the scale (extreme hostility towards all others who eat meat vs those who don't care at all abt what others eat but just are vegan themselves), that seeing your calmer view is actually a breath of fresh air, and it actually does make me want to further research the topic.

Whilst I don't think I'd ever be able to be a dietary vegan, I'm actually quite glad and surprised that you can be considered vegan for other reasons, such as just not buying leather - again, I think it's difficult to find views like this as the majority of views online can be quite extreme. Thanks for opening my eyes to this as well.

And finally, I definitely do agree that many ppl can be oblivious to animal agriculture and its effects, and I do think that if people are in the position where they can't eat vegetarian/vegan, they should still advocate for the improvement of animal welfare.

I do hope that you aren't too disheartened by any negative comments you got - I know I'm on anon too, but I'm just a bit scared to speak off anon, and I would feel awful sending hateful messages behind an anonymous mask. I hope you have a decent holiday season regardless.

You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you say all of this! When I turned vegan (not so long ago) I felt so much joy and willingness to share my passion for the topic, only to quickly find out that people tend to criticise vegans on the spot. I have sent sources before like I did with you, but they weren't even looked at. It seems like vegans are commonly seen as individuals who are annoying, extreme, privileged and whatnot. And I'm sure some of them are like that, as it is with every other 'group' really - but don't let it mislead you into believing all vegans are like that. Truth be told, I have yet to meet one single vegan who is like that. Besides, where does this idea of the 'annoying vegan' come from? We all have it in our minds, but why? Have we actually met one? Honestly, being at a dining table with others as a vegan has been the complete opposite for me: I'm the one who gets questioned, annoyed, criticised and made fun of. I still remember the very first reaction I got at a restaurant, as soon as I revealed I am vegan: "what, is your dog vegan too? Hahaha!" and from that point on, everyone at the table began talking about veganism and how extreme it is, in front of me, without listening to me. Everybody was suddenly a nutrition expert and began trying their best to show me a point that makes veganism invalid. It felt really bad and uncomfortable, and the same thing has repeated over and over, except for a few nonvegan friends who were simply curious about my choice and asked me normal questions. I shared my experience with other vegans and they've been through the same thing if not worse. Sorry for rambling, I just really want to tell you I understand, and that I had the same idea of vegans in my mind before becoming one. But being one has opened my eyes a lot. I personally don't like classifying myself as me vs. them, that's a dangerous path to take… before being vegan, I am a person, just like you, just like them, just like us. There are no sides, as I see it.

Thank you for apologising, I'm sorry as well if I made you feel uncomfortable in any way. I promise I did not mean to guilt trip anyone with my drawing, and it's absolutely great that you came and told me what you think about it! It means the world to me when someone tells me what they think or feel about my art. You're right, online views can be extreme, and I admit I have reblogged posts that felt like an accusatory finger pointed at nonvegans, but I'm still learning. Those posts feel kind of comforting, especially when others attack my beliefs (which happens a bit too often with veganism). But I'm going to try my best to keep in mind how it might sound to people who aren't vegans.

Oh, and yeah, right? I've always thought that being vegan means not eating any animal product or byproduct. A lot of people have this misconception in their minds, so when I read the actual definition of veganism, I was surprised! I quote, "Veganism is a philosophy and way of living which seeks to exclude—as far as is possible and practicable—all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose" it is just so liberating to read, isn't it? All I need to do is whatever is in my power and within my possibilities to reduce, as much as I can, my contributions to the animal agricolture industry. There is no such thing as a perfect vegan. But I can still do something, and that will be enough. For example, I personally chose to go down the dietary route (I just baked a vegan blueberry cake, hehe!) but I have yet to exclude animal products from my clothing (I have some clothes that partially contain wool, but I decided not to donate them for now - I'm taking it one step at a time). As you can see, it's really not as black and white as it is commonly believed. I'm just doing what I can.

It's okay to be on anon. I have an idea of who you are, but of course, I can't be sure. What matters is that you were so very kind with your asks and I'm grateful ❤️ Well, the other anon is clearly going through a lot and I just wish I could've helped more. There are far worse things I could've received so I'm okay, don't worry! Please let me know what you think of the stuff I linked you. Don't let anything guilt you. This will be simply you reading about things and learning from different sources. And I applaud you for it!

Merry Christmas, if you celebrate it ⭐