#Sore Throat due to Ice Cream and Cold Drinks | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cesabutterflywrites · 5 years ago

Text

525,600 Minutes

Summary: Logan meets Patton in a coffee shop after losing his connection to the stars. What follows is a year of their life, and their first seasons of love. Inspired by Seasons of Love from the musical RENT.

Word Count: 15,708

Rating: Strong T for mild cursing, mentions of sexual intimacy

Ship: Logicality

Characters: Logan/Logic, Patton/Morality, Thomas Sanders(brief), Virgil Sanders(brief)

Warnings: Suicide mention, self deprecation, anxiety, alcoholism, arguing

A/N: This was supposed to be 4k words and a little short oneshot. The infamous fic I’ve been complaining about for a while. It was supposed to be a little fluff piece to distract from my Prince in the Storm fic. Well, Patton and Logan had other ideas. I put a lot of effort into this, but it has been a few years since I’ve written anything so it will be a bit rough in some areas. I hope you enjoyed and feedback is encouraged. This is not a multichapter. Also on Ao3. Song Logan sings is Irresistible by One Direction.

525,600 minutes

Summer

It was a hot August evening. Despite the darkness of the night, the temperature outside was still a good seventy degrees Fahrenheit. There was a hint of a breeze in the air, however, that made it more bearable to go stargaze.

One thing Logan loved about summer nights were the clear skies; perfect for seeing the sky with its navy hues of blue and purple. He also enjoyed how the grass in his backyard wasn’t muddy from rain. It was still soft enough to lay on (with a blanket underneath him, of course).

Summer nights were for relaxing. The heat hardly made it easy to do anything productive. Even less invigorating activities such as reading, sitting at a desk, and taking a shower ended with him still drenched with sweat. While it was grimy, dirty, and made his skin feel uncomfortable...he also loved it. The heat swelling in his face gave him the feeling of life that he had lost over the course of cooler months.

Knowing it was hot outside, he was prepared in adequate attire. He did not want to dirty any presentable clothes with grass stains, so he wore what would be deemed as ‘house wear’. A white tank top that was a bit too small from many times in the dryer, some denim shorts with a belt. It was not his preferred way to dress, in fact he avoided thinking about what would happen if any of his friends saw him in those clothes.

When the blanket was laid down, Logan rested his head in his hands and looked at the stars. Of course, he could name the constellations that were popular. Orion, Ursa Major, et cetera. However when Logan needed a break from recalling fact, when he needed a moment to just exist within himself, he made his own constellations. That was what summer was for. Summer was for retreat. Time away from work, away from stress, away from...people.

That night, however, he struggled to come up with an image. His mind kept swirling with questions about the stars. What would it mean to touch a star? What would it feel like to see the stars in someone’s eyes? Everyone around him in the summer were focused on romantic endeavors. His colleagues would take about their dates to the boardwalk, to an ice cream parlor, to a swimming pool. Summer seemed to be the time where everyone found someone.

Logan took a deep breath in, tasting the hot moisture of the night and letting it stick to his lungs. He was not blind to the fact that he was thirty years old without ever having a...person. Not that he didn’t desire anyone, he just never found someone he ‘clicked’ with. Of course, there was no point in setting himself up for heartbreak when he saw there wasn’t a stable enough connection. Most times it wasn’t bothersome, most times he could be distracted by his work and the stars. For as long as he could remember, the stars were better companions than other species. They listened to his concerns without him ever needing to verbalize them. They heard his deepest wishes, tasted his loneliness when it was unbearable.

So what was different about that night? He could see the stars but it was as if they had hung up on him. It was as if they abandoned him. When all he sought was some relaxation, he was met instead with isolation.

He closed his eyes, hoping that by doing so the galaxies above him would shift just enough for him to pick up the connection.

When he opened them, there was a bright sun and the sky was a light blue. He brought his hand up to shield himself from the sudden burst of light to his eyes. His skin was sweaty, and a bit red. His tank top stuck to him and his shorts chafed against his thighs.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. Perhaps the warmth of the night had acted like a blanket and helped him drift off.

With a sigh, he slowly pulled himself off the ground to make his way indoors. He didn’t want to bother with the blanket, what he needed was a cold shower and some aloe vera lotion. After that, an iced coffee.

~~~~

The coffee shop wasn’t very crowded when he arrived. Most everyone had already grabbed their drinks and were enjoying the sun. Logan wasn’t too burned by his outdoor slumber, the only place he felt sore was his face.

When he got to the counter he noticed the barista was new. Chocolate brown locks curling over a tan face with a splatter of freckles along soft cheekbones and a button nose. The man made the standard uniform of white shirt, black pants, and a blue apron seem like something out of a magazine.

Logan felt his face heat up even more. It was uncomfortable to blush under his burn, but not unwelcome.

“Hi there! Welcome to Skye’s Cafe. What would you like to order today?” the barista asked, and Logan nearly fainted. His voice was filled with such enthusiasm. Logan hadn’t thought it possible that he could hear sunlight.

“Uh-I would like a, um,” Logan needed to think. What had he come in for again? Where was he? His skin was on fire from the intense waves of immediate attraction pulling him in.

“Don’t worry, take your time,” the man encouraged, “There’s no one behind you so don’t feel rushed.”

Logan glanced behind him and was brought back to earth. He shook his head as if the feelings that overcame him were nothing more than fleeting thoughts.

Turning back to the handsome figure behind the register, he gave his order as casually as he could, “Iced coffee, light cream and sugar.”

The barista cheerfully nodded as he put the order into the register. Next he grabbed a cup and sharpie, “Name?”

Logan’s throat closed but he managed to get out, “Logan”

“Logan, what a great name. Mine is Patton!”

Another wave of emotion crashed over Logan. Patton. Suddenly he knew the name of God’s most perfect angel. Fire licked at his feet and he struggled to keep his balance.

“Thank you, uh, Patton. Are you new here?” Logan asked, noticing the nervous tone in his own voice.

Patton didn’t seem to notice the edge in Logan's voice. He walked off to start making the drink but he answered, “Yes I am, today is actually my second day out of training.”

Logan didn’t have a response other than ‘hm’. Patton had gotten the drink ready quicker than any of the other baristas had before. Logan grabbed the drink from the counter and indulged in one more glance at Patton’s face. They both exchanged a smile.

“That was the quickest anyone made my drink,” Logan blurted out.

A pink blush crept up underneath the freckles on Patton’s face. “Oh, thank you. Everyone has been saying that today. I guess I’m a quick learner.”

“Well, thank you. I hope to see you more often,” Logan internally chastised himself. He didn’t mean to overstep his bounds.

Patton blushed even harder, “Well, at the end of the week I’ll know what my schedule is for sure. Maybe after that I could tell you.” Patton’s eyes went wide when he realized the implication of what he said, “O-of course, so you can have your drink made quicker!”

Logan smirked at the flustered barista. It was a comfort to know he wasn’t the only one flustered. “Then I’ll hope to see you when you know.”

Patton only nodded in response, then the bell rang signaling another customer walking in. “Well, it was nice talking to you Logan. I hope you enjoy your drink.”

Logan nodded then went to sit down at his usual table in the corner near the window. It was the perfect lighting for reading a book. He took a sip of his drink and jolted a bit.

So this is what heaven tastes like

~~~~

A few weeks went by, August was nearly over, and Logan made it a point to go get coffee 10 minutes before Patton was due for a break. They had gotten to know each other quite well, though Logan realized the man of sunshine could be a bit...eccentric.

“Hey, teach, wanna hear a joke?” Patton asked as he sat across Logan.

Logan sighed. Mostly out of habit, he knew whatever joke came out of those pink lips would fill him with joy. “Sure, go ahead Patton.”

Patton started giggling, barely able to start. Logan’s heart pounded to the rhythm of the sound. “Okay, okay. What,” Patton grinned at Logan with a raised eyebrow, “do you call a pan from mars?”

Logan’s eyebrows scrunched, wondering what the punchline would be. “There are no pans on Mars that we know of.” He responded.

“Marzipan!” Patton shouted before dissolving into a mess of giggles. His arms wrapped around himself in an attempt to hold himself together.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “That one didn’t even make sense, Pat.”

It took a few seconds for Patton to compose himself to respond. Logan felt a smile tug at his lips at how absolutely precious the man in front of him was. “It doesn’t have to make sense, that’s why it’s so funny!”

Logan let out a small laugh, “Whatever you say, Sunshine.” Logan’s eyes widened immediately. He hadn’t meant to call Patton Sunshine, it just slipped out.

Patton looked stunned for a minute, before he broke out into a wide grin. “What did you call me?”

“I- I didn’t mean… I hadn’t meant to- I’m so sorry I don’t know where that came from.” Logan put his head in his hands to hide his blush and shame from Patton.

“Hey Logan, look at me,” Patton requested softly. Logan just shook his head in his hands, refusing.

He didn’t hear Patton move, but suddenly there was a warmth sitting next to him. Gentle, soft hands wrapped themselves around Logan’s wrists and tugged them down. Logan was a slave to the request, fire spreading up his veins and causing his heartbeat to fill his head and ears. He looked at Patton to see a light in those puppy brown eyes he had come to quickly fall for.

“It’s okay, I like the nickname. I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, cause...well I…” Patton looked out the window behind Logan, a twinkle in his eyes and red starting to creep up along his cheekbones. “I think pretty highly of you, too.”

Logan couldn’t hear his thoughts, or perhaps he had none. Words had escaped his mouth and mind as they had the first time he laid eyes on Patton. “How much?” he asked. He needed to know if Patton, too, felt the fire. He needed to know if Patton felt the pull as well.

The curly haired, freckled, sunshine man looked into Logan’s eyes. There was the fire. The flames Logan had felt consuming him all these weeks; they came from those eyes.

Patton moved a hand to reach up to Logan’s face. He waited for Logan to nod before making contact. Logan felt himself lean into Patton’s hand. It was almost as if those hands were sculpted to hold him. Or maybe Logan’s face was made to be the clay Patton were to use to his own will. Patton didn’t seem to know it, but he held all of the power over Logan.

“I think you are so smart. You may seem annoyed by my humor, but I can tell that you secretly enjoy it. You have pretty blue eyes that make me feel like I’m in a refreshing pool of water. You seem guarded with everyone except me, and I feel that it is an honor that is rarely given. So, I think very highly of you.” Patton’s voice was low for once, his words sounded as if he had rehearsed what he needed to say.

Logan could no longer bear it. He was too warm, his throat was dry, he needed to do something to release and cease the heat. He grabbed Patton’s face and pulled him in for a kiss.

Fireworks exploded in his stomach as Patton kissed him back. The world disappeared until all that was left was them. Logan’s first kiss, the first kiss he had been skeptical would ever come for thirty years, made all that time worth it. He felt himself smile against the soft lips of his new love. They pulled apart, grinning at each other like fools.

“Sunshine, how do you feel about stargazing?”

525,600 minutes

Autumn

October had come to an end, and Patton was the happiest man on Earth. Autumn was his favorite season. It was the time of year for hot chocolate, warm soup, cozy blankets, and snuggles. The air cooled, breezes picking up orange leaves and scattering them along the ground. They crunched under his feet. Rain fell from gray clouds, making him feel like he needed to dance. Well, maybe his reason to dance was more than just that it was raining.

Things were going great with his new boyfriend, Logan. They had been going steady since the first time they kissed at the end of August. He had been working at Skye’s coffeeshop for about two months and was recently offered a raise for how much business he was bringing in. He wasn’t quite sure what she had meant by that, but he didn’t really mind. Skye was an amazing boss to work with, and started to become an amazing friend. Patton loved making friends. He just loved making people happy.

He had been on his way to Logan’s house when the rain started to really pour. He had forgotten to bring an umbrella with him before he left work, so he started jogging so he could get to the warm embrace of the house and Logan’s arms quicker.

He had reached the door when the downpour had started to turn into a storm. His knuckles knocked on the dark wood door to the house he had come to spend every evening at for a month. He rubbed his arms and bounced in an attempt to warm himself up. Despite the cold and wet, he couldn’t help but feel happy.

Every day he felt laughter bubbling up in his chest as he looked forward to seeing his wonderful boyfriend. All he could think about every day was the way Logan’s lips twitched when he was trying to hide a smile. How he would tip his glasses up and glance away when he felt extra smart. How he would blush whenever he caught Patton staring. He always looked forward to spending what precious moments he could with his most bestest boyfriend ever.

Logan answered the door. Patton’s smile wavered as he took in Logan’s appearance. His hair was disheveled, his glasses were missing, and all he was wearing was a robe and boxers. There were dark bags under his eyes, and his lips were curved down in a frown.

“Oh my God, what happened Logan?” Patton gasped. He had never seen Logan look this unkempt.

Logan looked confused until he seemed to process Patton’s question. “Oh, nothing Patton. What are you doing here?” The whiskey on his breath wafted into Patton’s nostrils. Oh.

Patton didn’t answer as he tried to step past Logan inside. Logan tried to resist him but he stumbled. Patton scanned his eyes across the living room and couldn’t believe what he saw. There were books strewn about as if they had been tossed around. The couch was covered in tissues. There was a whiskey bottle on it’s side resting on the coffee table. Try not to think about it, Patton.

He jumped as Logan slammed the door. “What are you doing here, Pat?” Logan sounded...angry.

Patton turned to look at Logan. His blue eyes were bloodshot and puffy, as if he had been crying. Patton walked closer but Logan backed away. “Don’t.”

Tears formed in Patton’s eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall. He needed to know what was going on, so he kept walking forward until Logan was backed against the wall. He was a little shorter than his boyfriend, but that didn’t make his stare any less intense.

“Logan, Starlight, what’s wrong?” he asked softly. He tried to ignore the sob that was threatening to escape his throat. The cold fear stabbed his heart.

Logan put his hand on Patton’s shoulder to push him away, but he was too weak. His head lolled sideways as he tried to form a response. “Nuffin’” was all that he came up with. He then slid down the wall to sit on the floor. “Standing hard.”

Patton took a deep breath in to calm himself. He knew Logan needed him, so he shoved his worries and temptations aside and sat next to Logan on the floor. Once again he asked, "What happened?"

This time Logan didn't try to push Patton out. He leaned his head onto Patton's shoulders and cried. The sounds rang in Patton's ears like a twisted version of the bells in Logan's laugh. Patton's heart beat erratically in his chest like usual, except this time for much more heartbreaking reasons.

All he could do was put his arm around his love and rub his shoulders for comfort. Logan calmed a bit in response to the touch, as if Patton touching him gave him enough clarity to speak through the burning alcohol in his blood.

"A, uh, a student of mine passed away yesterday." Logan whispered, "Suicide," he choked out.

Patton suddenly saw why Logan seemed destroyed. He was a fairly new teacher, and chose to work at the middle school. He hadn't dealt with a student death before, especially one so young.

Patton felt the ice in his heart melt away from the empathy he held for his love. He unfortunately was very familiar with the beast of suicide.

So maybe that's what gave him the right words to say, "Starlight, you can't hold yourself at fault for the death of another. You did what you could, and in the end you lost a person close to you. However that doesn't lessen the worth of your efforts. Sometimes," tears fell down Patton's face like the rain outside,"Sometimes it feels like we're being swallowed whole. That simple things like getting out of bed in the morning is the same as jogging for six miles with no water or food. No matter the love we receive, sometimes our minds are filled with so much darkness we filter it all out."

Logan looked up at Patton. Even while intoxicated he understood what Patton meant by 'we'."Are you suicidal too?"

The question hung in the air between them. Lighting flashed through the windows and thunder followed suit. The silence between them was amplified by the electricity in the air. Between them a puddle of truth that Patton had to step into in order to reach the next step in their relationship.

"Why aren't you answering me?" Logan pleaded, tears once more flowing. His voice was gravel. He clung Patton's shirt in his fists and pulled himself to sit in front of him.

Patton's eyes were wide. Hiding the pain was always better. Making others smile was the only way to keep from adding more pain in this world. Yet he saw that with each second of silence he was hurting Logan more.

He decided to try a new way of soothing another's pain. "I was, as a child. I had a lot going on. I made an attempt at one point, even. But I survived. And now I’m glad I did, because I have you.”

Neither of them could speak after that, for there were no words. The two of them instead used their bodies to speak. Patton rubbing Logan’s back in small circles said ‘I love you’. Logan nuzzling into Patton’s chest while crying said ‘it hurts too much’. Logan taking Patton’s hand to move to the couch to cuddle meant ‘thank you’. Patton petting Logan’s hair said ‘You’re welcome’.

Logan kissing Patton’s thigh before falling asleep whispered ‘I love you too’.

~~~~

“I want you to accompany me to Thanksgiving dinner with my family.” Logan blurted one cloudy afternoon.

They had decided to go for a walk in the park by the coffee shop. Patton had forgotten his umbrella again, but Logan anticipated this, and brought an extra one. They had been walking in comfortable silence, taking in the image of the trees bare of their leaves. The world looked more toned down, which in a way calmed Patton. He loved the gray tones of the clouds in the sky, he loved the pumpkin patches, he loved the leaves, he loved the smell of rain.

Most of all, he freaking loved Logan in a scarf and jacket.

“Uh, what?”

“I want you to come with me to visit my family for Thanksgiving.” Logan repeated. The blush on his cheeks seemed to be deeper than being from just wind chill.

“Oh, um…” Patton was at a loss for words. Of course he wanted to go, but past experiences had told him that meeting the family wasn’t a good idea. “I don’t know…”

Insecurity crept it’s way into Patton’s mind. His exes had always been interested in him until he interacted with their families. He always told a joke that fell flat, always got too confused, always said something wrong. Always… did something wrong. However, he was a different person now. Plus he loved Logan so much...he just wasn’t ready to lose the love of his life through his own stupidity, or possibility of stupidity.

He obviously had been too quiet, because Logan stopped walking to look at Patton, his head tilting to the side in a way that tugged at Patton’s heart strings. Logan looking inquisitively made Patton feel important. When he puzzled Logan it wasn’t because he was a ditz, it was because Logan found him fascinating. The look on his face made Patton want to double check that his fears were unfounded.

“I mean, are you sure? What if I say something embarrassing?” Patton looked down at his shoes.

Logan lifted Patton’s chin up. Cool blue eyes chilled the heat in his heart. He felt his breathing get steadier with the solidity that was Logan. With one simple touch he felt roots planting into the ground beneath them, intertwining their souls to grow together forever. No wind could shake them. No storm could knock them down. In that moment, Patton knew there was nothing that could make Logan stop loving him. He also knew that he felt the same way.

“Sunshine, nothing you could do would make me unsure of how right you are for me,” Logan confirmed.

He cupped Patton’s cheek with his hand, “Your face was made to fit within my hands, for you are my world.”

His other had wrapped around Patton’s torso, pulling him closer, “Your body was made to be against my own; for you are my support.”

He leaned his forehead against Patton’s, “Your mind is the opposite of mine. Bubbly, bright, and full of light; for you are the sun to my moon.”

Logan’s lips brushed Patton’s, and he whispered, “Your lips were meant to kiss me; for your name is my prayer to the stars.”

Logan then kissed Patton in a way that felt different than their other kisses before. He felt as if he was being pulled back into his body. He embraced his love and they twirled, lips never parting. In that moment the two of them knew what it was to find what fit in the empty space within their souls.

Being grounded within Logan helped push his insecurities, fears, and old demons to the side. Logan’s arms were where he needed to be.

~~~~

Patton felt his nerves were firing up to the point he couldn’t sit still. It was a two hour drive to Logan’s brother’s house. Logan was in the driver’s seat, which was a good thing because Patton was too excited to concentrate. He was wearing his Thursday Best. He had an off-white cardigan on with a light blue polo underneath. He rubbed the palms of his hands over his freshly ironed khakis. It was the only thing he could do to stave off the need to bounce his leg.

“Hey, Starlight?”

“Yes, Sunshine?” Logan’s voice was deeper than normal. When he was concentrating on something else his voice dropped, and it sent butterflies flying in Patton’s stomach every time.

“Does your family know I’m coming with you?” Patton didn’t want to intrude

“They know I am bringing a plus one, yes.” Logan’s response was curt.

“A plus one?” Why did that leave a sick feeling in Patton’s stomach?

Logan sighed, his hands gripping the steering wheel tighter. “I...I never dated anyone before you.”

Patton was stunned. He was Logan’s first boyfriend, first partner...ever? He knew Logan didn’t have much experience with relationships...but he didn’t know ‘not much’ meant ‘none at all’. “Why not?” he couldn’t help but ask. Underneath his question was ‘why me, then?’

Logan took a minute to form a response. The downward curve of his mouth told Patton that his boyfriend was at a loss for words. He waited patiently for the response, choosing to look out the window at the rain falling around them in the daylight.

“I never found anyone who I saw as compatible enough to risk a relationship. I didn’t want to start something that was doomed to fail.” Logan blushed, “I guess you are the one for me, I never questioned my attraction to you. I never had to list the pros and cons of starting a courtship.”

“Awww...Starlight,” Patton cooed, “I love you too. Thank you for taking the risk, because if you hadn’t I don’t think I’d be here.” There was some truth to his statement, they were getting into the time of year when he started feeling…wrong.

“Well, obviously, it’s my car.”

Patton laughed, “Dad joke!”

Logan groaned, “You know I didn’t do it on purpose.”

They both chatted and sat in silence on and off until they pulled up to the house. Anxiety crawled up the back of Patton’s neck like a spider. He shivered. When Logan opened the door for him he didn’t move to get out.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Logan asked, concerned.

“I’m a bit..scared…” Patton admitted with a whisper.

“You’re going to be okay, I promise.” Logan reached his hand out. Patton had no choice but to climb out of the car to grab the steadying hand of his lover.

They walked hand in hand up the path to the house. The sun was starting to set, which set orange and pink hues splattered on the yellow house. If the family inside were as inviting as the outside of their home, Patton would have no problem fitting in.

Logan knocked on the door. His expression was his usual neutral stare. Patton felt Logan grip his hand tighter as the door was opened by a man who looked like Logan, but younger.

The man smiled and pulled Logan into a hug, which Logan stiffened in. “Good to see you, brother! Hey, who’s the friend?”

“Patton, this is my brother Thomas. Thomas this is my-” Logan paused, they hadn’t exactly had a chance to discuss how he’d be introduced. Evidently Logan decided for Patton and boldly proclaimed, “My boyfriend.”

Thomas’ eyebrows raised. “Well, that explains, um, a lot.” He then turned to Patton to shake hands with a bright smile, “It’s nice to have you over, Patton. Welcome, and come on in.”

They entered the house and the inside was even more inviting than the outside. The living room they had walked into had two couches. There was a fireplace in one corner, and in the other corner next to it was an entertainment center. The room’s walls were decorated in family photos, and some awards.

Patton was in awe, it was very different from his family’s home when he was growing up. The lighting was soft, warm and welcome. He loosened his grip on Logan’s hand just a bit. He felt more relaxed.

Not acknowledging the other people in the room, his eyes zoned in to the creature on the floor.

“Cat!” he loudly whispered to Logan.

Logan didn’t have time to form a response because conversations in the room ceased to look at them. Patton noticed that Logan was very uncomfortable, but he couldn’t figure out why. They all seemed like nice people.

An older woman came up to them, her smile was so bright. Patton couldn’t help but smile in return.

She reached out to shake hands. “I’m Matilda, Logan’s mom. Thank you for joining us.” Her voice reminded Patton of warm chocolate chip cookies. Her eyes were blue like Logan’s but more lively, full of stories and experiences only an older person would have.

He shook her hand back, “Nice to meet you, I’m Patton.”

There were a few more members of the family to meet. They formed a bit of a line to make introductions easier. There was Thomas, who owned the home. Matilda, Logan’s mom. One of Logan’s cousins, Jeff, and his teenage son, Virgil. Virgil didn’t introduce himself per se, he just looked up from his phone when he heard his name and waved halfheartedly. Patton didn’t take much offense, he remembered being a teenager once.

Once he had greeted everyone, he kept his eyes on the small cat perched on the windowsill. It was a lovely little long haired calico. Patton loved calicoes. He so badly wanted to go over and pet it, but he hadn’t thought to bring his allergy medication. He was so focused on the cat that he didn’t hear Logan say his name.

“Sunshine, Patton, Patton!”

“Oh, sorry Logan. What were you saying?” he asked, blushing a bit.

“We’re going to the dining room to eat dinner. Are you going to join us or continue staring at the cat?” Logan asked, seeming a bit annoyed.

Patton tried not to notice the edge in Logan’s voice, instead he chose to smile and put his hands on his hips. “I haven’t been introduced to the cat yet, Logan. It’s rude to go eat if I haven’t even met all the residents of the home.”

Logan rolled his eyes, “Sunshine, you’re allergic.” Patton took his hands up to his face to try to give his boyfriend the puppy eyes. He knew Logan couldn’t resist his pleading face for long.

Finally Logan gave in, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Her name is Surefoot.”

Patton turned back to the cat and cooed. “Awe, Surefoot, what a pleasure to meet you. Unfortunately I have to go eat, but it was mice to meet you meow.”

He giggled as Logan groaned. “Can we go eat now?”

Patton nodded and went to join the rest of the family. The dinner was amazing. He got along great with Logan’s family. They were so fun to hang out with. Thomas didn’t bat an eye when Patton denied a glass of wine. Matilda laughed with him over some embarrassing stories of Logan as a child. Even Virgil chimed in a few times.

After Logan had some food, his mood seemed to get a bit better. He also seemed relieved at his family’s easy acceptance of Patton. The two kept making side glances at each other. Thank you, Logan’s eyes seemed to say.

Patton’s kiss on his cheek was his way of saying you’re welcome.

525,600 Minutes

Winter

Logan hated winter.

He hated the snow, he hated driving in the snow, he hated the sun reflecting into his eyes from the snow. He hated the kids shouting around him when he went to work during a snowball fight. He hated when school got canceled last minute because of the snow.

This year was a bit different. Maybe there was one good thing about winter…

Patton wearing a Christmas sweater was adorable as hell.

School had been canceled, so he had decided to sleep in. He wasn’t expecting Patton to be over that day, at least not in the morning. So he was surprised when he had gotten to the bottom of the stairs to see his boyfriend in the kitchen. He smelled bacon, and heard sizzling that suggested pancakes were being made. Christmas music was being played softly from Patton’s phone. Patton was bouncing and doing a little dance while he stood at the stove, back turned to Logan.

Logan saw that Patton was wearing a light blue and white sweater, with cats and dogs on the back. Logan couldn’t help but burst with happiness. He strode to come up behind Patton and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. Patton startled a bit but quickly relaxed against Logan. Logan peeked and saw that pancakes were being made. His stomach grumbled a bit, so he kissed Patton’s cheek and went to grab a piece of bacon.

“This is a nice surprise, Sunshine.” he commented.

Patton shrugged. “Well, I couldn’t sleep well, so I thought I’d bring some groceries over and make you breakfast. Especially since school was canceled.” Logan noticed Patton’s smile was bright but a bit..off.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” Logan asked, paying extra attention to Patton’s face.

Patton stared down as he flipped the pancakes over. “No reason to be concerned, Starlight. Just couldn’t sleep is all.”

Logan had grown to notice Patton very well. He spent so much time looking at his love’s face. He had memorized every inch of Patton that he could. He knew how his curly hair puffed after waking up, he knew how his freckles nearly disappeared when he blushed, he knew all of Patton’s different smiles.

So obviously he knew when Patton was faking it.

There was a bit of silence between them. Patton put the pancakes on a plate, reached behind Logan for some bacon, and avoided Logan’s stare. He set the food down at the kitchen table and sat down. Smiling up at Logan he asked, “You gonna join me, Starlight?”

Logan frowned as he sat down. He normally enjoyed Patton’s cooking but he felt everything was..off. Odd. He didn’t want to push Patton, but he couldn’t keep his curiosity in for long.

They both ate in silence until Logan had had enough. “Okay, Patton, what’s wrong?”

Patton looked startled. “N-nothing, I just-”

“You couldn’t sleep, I know. But I also know that you like to avoid talking about your negative feelings. Please let’s just avoid the tooth pulling and just tell me.” Logan didn’t mean to sound mad. He was just frustrated.

Patton was flushed with embarrassment and looked down. “I-I just..” he closed his eyes, and Logan noticed a teardrop from Patton’s face, “I just was feeling really down last night. It was pretty bad, that happens a lot in the winter. I start feeling...bad, for some reason. Wrong.” he pushed his plate away and laid his head in his arms, sobbing, “I’m wrong!”

Logan felt his heart starting to splinter. He hadn’t meant to ruin the mood. He didn’t mean to push, and he certainly hated the idea of being the reason the love of his life was crying.

Logan gently stood up and knelt beside Patton. He didn’t ever imagine what he would do if his love had fallen apart. He laid his hand on Patton’s back and felt the wracking sobs vibrate within his own bones. His heart rate increased the the growing sorrow he felt for hurting the one person he needed. With each sob from Patton he felt his head spin even more.

“C’mon love, let’s move to the couch for a bit, yeah?” he pleaded. He needed to hold Patton in his arms and take all the burdens of the world away. He needed to hold his love steady enough in order to hold himself together.

Patton nodded and stood up with Logan’s help. Immediately, before Logan could see his face, he was embraced by Patton. The arms around his torso tortured him with their shaking. He held back his own tears and fears as he guided Patton to the sofa in the living room. Patton leaned his head on Logan’s lap and nuzzled. Logan would have found the action adorable if it weren’t for the fact that the reason why was still a mystery.

He didn’t exactly know what to do, so he followed his instincts. He started stroking Patton’s hair. He curled the locks around his fingers, loving the feel of soft chocolate smoothly running through his digits. He gazed down Patton’s body curled up on the couch. Even in the man’s sorrow, he still looked like the human representation of a precious cinnamon roll.

Logan wasn’t much of a singer, however he knew that Patton loved his voice so he started to hum softly,

“Don’t try to make me stay

Or ask if I’m okay

I don’t have the answer,”

Patton stopped shaking. Logan kept going, noticing his partner winding down.

“Don’t make me stay the night

Or ask if I’m alright

I don’t have the answer”

He felt Patton take a deep breath in, no longer sobbing. He noticed his sweatpants were a bit wet from his love’s tears. He didn’t care.

“Heartache doesn’t last forever

I’ll say I’m fine

Midnight ain’t the time for laughin’

When you say goodbye”

Patton turned to look up and Logan, his eyes red from crying. The normal bright stars looked burnt out. In the back of his mind, he noticed that they had left Patton’s glasses on the kitchen table.

“It makes your lips so kissable

And your kiss so missable

Your fingertips so touchable

And your eyes irresistible”

Logan’s heart burst open with light at the sight of Patton’s small smile. “Sorry, Starlight. I didn’t mean to ruin breakfast for you.”

Logan gently motioned for Patton to sit up. Once he had obliged, Logan took the soft hands of the person who had become his world from the moment they’d first met. He looked into the eyes that had held so much sunlight in the days prior. He shoved the questions he had about that to the side as he spoke, “Sunshine, you could never ever ruin anything for me.”

He reached out to cup Patton’s chin. “You are my Sunshine for a reason. You shed so much light in every room you walk into. You are so much stronger than me, you have an understanding of others that I will never have. You…” Logan couldn’t find the words to express how much Patton meant to him, so he thought he’d try a different way to use his lips to express his love.

He held Patton’s cheek and kissed. He tasted the salt and snot from Patton’s crying but he didn’t care. To him it was the way Patton tasted when he fell apart, and he loved every part of this man. He loved his smiles, his laughter, his jokes, his obsession with cats, he loved the light side. He also discovered that morning that he loved the dark side. He loved the tears, the sobs, the shaking, the shallow breathing. Even though the cries pierced his heart, even though he wanted to fall to his knees as freely as Patton’s tears, he still loved. Through the pain and cries, and snot and tears his love for Patton pushed him through his discomforts of emotions.

Patton groaned against his lips, the sound more guttural than he had been used to before. The next thing Logan knew, his lap was full of Patton. He was being straddled by a man in a sweater with animals on it. He was a bit shocked at Patton’s bravado. Normally they didn’t engage in such heated endeavors. They hadn’t gone very far...physically… in their relationship. Logan was never ready, and Patton was so patient.

This time, though, he felt ready. He felt a primal need build up inside of him. His hands slid under Patton’s sweater to feel the hot skin of Patton’s back. He whimpered when Patton moved his lips away from their kiss, then gasped in shock when Patton started to kiss along his neck. He gripped Patton’s hips as teeth nicked against his collarbone.

His head was swimming in desire for the man on top of him. He wanted to take him. He wanted to feel...that feeling. He wanted to take in his love’s touch. He wanted to touch all over Patton’s body and be touched in return. He wanted to feel the fire from the beginning of their courtship. He wanted to be doused in the flames of those chocolate eyes raking over his body. He wanted to melt against the body of the brightest thing he had ever seen. He wanted to go all the way so bad, but he couldn’t.

He listened to the voice of reason in his ear pointing out the possibility that Patton was trying to avoid the mess of the fit. He willed his fingers to pull away from Patton’s skin. He used all of his strength to gently push Patton away from his neck.

“Starlight, please,” Patton whined. Logan almost felt himself give in.

“No.” Logan denied. He noticed his voice was deeper than usual.

“Why not? I thought- I thought you wanted-” Patton’s eyes started to fill with rejection.

“I do!” Logan said quickly, not wanting to give the wrong impression, “I want it so bad. But not like this. Not under these circumstances.” He reached out to touch his love’s cheek, but was denied by Patton standing up.

“What, like you haven’t before?” Patton refused to look at him. Logan just sat on the couch stunned.

He needed Patton to look at him. “Sunshine, please, listen to me, come sit back down.”

Patton huffed, then sat back down, wrapping his arms around his knees. “Why not?”

Logan sighed, he hadn’t told Patton explicitly that he was a virgin. He had only mentioned that he hadn’t dated before. “I...I know you could tell that I don’t have much experience with intimacy. I know I’ve told you that there have been no others, but I meant it in all of the ways.”

An “Oh.” fell from Patton’s lips. “I’m sorry.”

Logan smiled. “It’s okay. I still want to, and I know I’m ready, but I need to know first…” Patton looked away, “What happened?”

His love sighed, “I...I told you a while ago that I had been suicidal as a kid, after your student passed away.” Logan flinched at the memory. He wasn’t proud of the way he responded to the death, and he didn’t exactly want the reminder of the empty desk at the back of his classroom. However he let Patton continue.

“I have seasonal depression. In the winter I can get a bit… down,” Logan nodded, understanding what Patton was saying, “Normally I have been able to handle it. For about two years I’ve been managing...but this winter is especially hard for some reason.”

Logan scooted closer to put his hand on Patton’s knee, encouraging him to continue, “I guess I really missed you last night, you know?” Oh, how Logan did know, “But I didn’t want to disturb your sleep last night. So I just pushed through it. I tried to stuff it down. I felt icky and gross, kinda like I do now.”

Logan smiled softly and said, “You’re still glorious to me.”

Patton smiled and let out a laugh, “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

The conversation would have continued, if it weren’t for both of their stomachs growling for breakfast. They both laughed.

“Let’s try to have second breakfast, yeah?” Patton asked while standing up.

All Logan did was gaze after the retreating form of his partner, admiring the animals on his cute sweater.

~~~~

It was December 24th. Logan and Patton had decided to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas morning together. Patton was acting so bouncy it was nearly intoxicating. Logan wasn’t one to celebrate Christmas much, outside of going to his brother’s house for a family dinner. He never decorated outside of a small tree in the front window to give a feeling of participation with his neighbors for the holiday.

So it was a bit of a shock to come home to his living room resembling Santa’s workshop.

He had walked into the sight of garland strung along the staircase. There were figurines of angels, elves, santa claus, reindeer, and on the center of the coffee table was a small nativity scene.

The biggest shock of all was the tree in the window.

Patton was humming along to the music he had put on, and was stringing the lights along the bottom of the real, giant green tree. Patton was too distracted to notice that Logan had come in, which was a blessing because it meant that Logan could watch Patton shimmy around the tree, being his adorable self.

Patton swayed his hips while he sang. Once the lights were set, he reached into the box behind him and pulled out more garland. He had a smile on his face, and the soft glow on his face from the colored lights made it all the more miraculous.

He noticed the song Patton was singing along was a bit...well, it was certainly outdated.

“I really can’t stay,” Patton sang

“But baby it’s cold outside”, the singer on the music player responded.

Logan smirked as he quietly snuck up behind his love.

“I’ve got to go away,” Patton continued, oblivious to Logan’s presence behind him.

“But baby it’s cold outside,” Logan crooned deeply while wrapping his arms around Patton.

Patton yelped, and would have jumped if it hadn’t been for Logan’s strong grip around his waist. “Oh, Starlight, you scared me,” he let out a relieved giggle.

Logan rested his chin on Patton’s shoulder, giving a kiss onto the man’s neck. Patton must have been baking, cause he smelled like gingerbread. He was wearing the blue sweater again, the material soft on Logan’s face. Logan couldn’t help but run his nose up and down the smooth flesh. He left kisses wherever he could. Patton doing this grand gesture for him only reinforced his need.

He had a craving for every bit of light Patton exude. Patton’s laughter was his drug, he was in bliss at the sight of that crooked smile. The freckles were constellations in shapes Logan could never imagine to exist. The stars had disconnected from him that summer evening because they knew their time was up. Their beauty was no match for the man now squirming in his grip.

“I’m going to pull you away from your decorating for a bit, is that satisfactory?” Logan whispered. He took the pleased whimper in response as a yes.

He turned Patton around and gave the most passionate kiss he could muster. He was ready. He was ready and the lights were perfect. The love was in the air, so thick he was drowning. They nearly knocked some of the decoration boxes down trying to make it up the stairs. Logan didn’t know where his new bravado was coming from. It was as if he were under a spell. The fire was back in his veins, roaring louder and hotter than he could bear.

The cold outside was no match for the heat in his cheeks as he pulled Patton onto his bed with him. They had both slept next to each other before. He knew that this time was different. This was more. This was further than he had ever thought he would go in his life.

Before Patton, he was content. Before Patton, he was fine without having a companionship outside of friendship. Before Patton, he could breathe on his own. Before Patton, he had only the bare minimum to get through life. Before Patton, he only needed the stars in his eyes in order to stave off loneliness. Before Patton, he was incomplete.

With Patton, he knew what it was like to step into the sunlight. With Patton, he was never alone. With Patton, he had warmth in his bed for the winter. With Patton, even his home reflected the utter joy he felt every second he spent thinking about his love. With Patton, he didn’t need the stars. With Patton, he wasn’t alone. With Patton, he was in love.

They spent that night blending their bodies into each other. Logan had no idea how he had got on without those feelings in the past. With each new touch he put on Patton, he forgot his before. Patton kissed all the cold away from every inch of his skin. They both knew what warmth in the winter felt like, and Logan never wanted to leave his love’s side ever again. They had reached a level of pure intimacy that he knew would destroy his soul if it disappeared.

After he reached the highest of heights, Patton pulled him back down to earth to lay on his shoulder. They stayed in bed for a while, tracing their fingers over each other’s bodies. He gazed at the sweaty brown curls resting on his chest. They laid in peaceful quiet, taking in the first breaths of fresh air since their first kiss.

“I never finished decorating the tree, Starlight, and tomorrow’s Christmas.” Patton whispered, looking up at Logan.

Logan couldn’t help but grin at the concern on his, now lover’s face. “Well, there’s always next year to have the chance to finish.”

Patton sighed with a dreamy smile, sitting up to peck a kiss on Logan’s nose. “Well, then I’m going to head to the shower to get cleaned up, wanna join me?”

Logan shook his head, “I need some water before I can even consider leaving the bed.”

Patton brought him a glass of water, then walked to the door before looking over his shoulder to get one last glance at Logan, “Merry Christmas, Starlight.”

“Merry Christmas Sunshine.”

~~~~

Logan never understood the meaning behind the phrase ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. Frankly, he never was able to imagine how time would feel differently passing depending on the activities. Did time move slower for others when they were sad? Did the seconds on the clock tick at a greater speed than he was able to hear? Had everyone been privy to a secret of the way time worked that he was being kept in the dark of? Evidently, yes, because he was surprised that the New Year was just one day away.

Patton had made the plans for the holiday, but was keeping them a secret. It was a miracle he was able to hold it in, because he was so excited every time Logan brought it up. As New Year’s Eve drew closer, it was like Patton was literally vibrating constantly. Though it was endearing the first few days, eventually it was pushing a button on Logan that he didn’t understand. Perhaps it was because he did not like being kept in the dark.

“Hey, Starlight! You ready for tomorrow night?” Patton called as he walked into the door of Logan’s house.

“I don’t know how I could be ready, since I don’t know what our plans are.” Logan snarked.

Patton laughed. “Well, someone is a grumpy gus. Don’t worry, I know you’ll love it.”

Logan just rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, hoping for a distraction from his heightened annoyance. He didn’t want to hurt Patton’s feelings, he genuinely wanted to be excited, but surprises were hard for him to come to grips with. His family had stopped bothering to surprise him with birthday parties by the time he was five because he would always figure it out.

So why couldn’t he think of a possible way Patton would surprise him?

His boyfriend was such a wild card, he noticed with the seasonal depression being intense it meant that Patton was even more...emotional. Not that he minded, it was just a bit too much for him sometimes. He felt so guilty. He knew it wasn’t Patton’s fault, and truth be told he noticed the vitamin D supplements he gave to his love for Christmas were starting to make a difference.

Patton sat next to him, a dreamy smile on his face. “All I could think about at work was your handsome face.”

Logan huffed, “I hope it didn’t hinder your work.”

“No, it didn’t…” Patton trailed off, “Is something bothering you, Logan?”

Logan put his phone on the coffee table and sighed to himself. It was probably a good idea to get his feelings off of his chest in case it interfered with his reaction to the surprise in store for him. He leaned back to look at Patton, who seemed really nervous. That made it more difficult to form the words he needed.

“I love you, you know this, right?” Patton nodded. “I have been feeling...more irritable lately.”

“Why?” Patton’s eyes were watery already.

“Nothing you’ve done, per se. I just don’t really like surprises, so when you’re reminding me of it constantly it’s been a bit, well, grating on my patience.” He eyed Patton warily, waiting for an emotional response.

Instead, Patton just deflated. “I’m sorry,” he put his face in his hands, “I just wanted to give you a good New Year’s, but the plans weren’t set in stone, and so it was a surprise so I didn’t get your hopes up. I only just got confirmation today...and, and, and,” Patton curled up in a ball, still hiding his face. Though Logan didn’t need to see his lover’s face in order to tell he had started crying.

He took a deep breath, trying to ignore the urge to roll his eyes. He gently laid a hand on Patton’s knee. He reminded himself that winter would be almost over, this season would pass, and he shouldn't be so selfish to ignore his lover’s mental health problems.

“Sunshine, I’m sorry,” he truly was, “I guess I was wrong to assume you were trying to annoy me.”

“Annoy you?!” Patton’s head jerked up, heartbreak starting to form in his eyes.

“No! No, that's not what I-” Logan tried to say.

Patton stood up quickly, backing away. Betrayal took over his face like the dark shadow of an eclipse. Immediately Logan felt colder. Freezing. He knew what was happening. He was going to be put in the dark if he made one wrong move.

This moment came in every couple’s life. The highs crash into a low. The clear skies were replaced with stormy pain. It was the first test to see if they would make it.

“Patton, Sunshine, please sit down, I’m sorry,” he pleaded.

Patton smiled, but it was empty. He shook his head, dismissing Logan’s apology. “I should have known. I should have known you were no different from the others.”

Logan stood up. “Please don’t say that,” he whispered, “please don’t.”

His lover wiped the tears off of his face. “I’m sorry. I guess I thought I was better with you. I guess I thought I could be different with you. I guess I thought,” he tried to close his eyes to stop the tears, “I guess I thought I’d get to do what I wanted tomorrow night.”

Patton made his way to the door. Logan moved as quickly as he could. His tears fogged up his glasses but he didn’t care. He caught Patton’s sleeve and he got down on his knees. I can’t lose him, he thought to himself.

“I can’t lose you Sunshine. Please don’t leave. Please, I’m sorry I used the wrong word. I promise you weren’t-” he let the tears fall, exposing his heart, “I love you.”

Patton looked down at him. The fire in his eyes that Logan was used to was burning him, and for once it was painful. It wasn’t the comforting warmth he was used to, it wasn’t the fiery passion he needed. It was painful. His skin was burning and it was at the hands of Patton.

He leaned his forehead against his lover’s hand. “Please. I’m sorry. Please. I’m sorry.” he repeated over and over, a prayer for mercy.

Patton opened the door, took his hand from Logan, and pulled something out of his jacket pocket. “I’m going to go for a walk. Here’s your stupid... annoying, surprise.” he tossed a small box into Logan’s hands and slammed the door.

The small item burned a hole through his hands. He stayed there, on his knees, waiting for Patton to return like the loyal dog he was. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. One slip up, one misspoken word, one poorly timed comment- and his heart was shattered.

Tears were flowing freely from his face. This was the pain he had tried to avoid for thirty years. For years, he avoided attraction and courtship, in fear of what he was feeling. Kneeling at the door, waiting for Patton’s return.

He looked down at the box. It was a small black box wrapped in dark blue ribbon. He undid the ribbon, lifted the lid, and put a hand to his mouth to keep himself from screaming.

Inside the container was another box, obviously from a jeweler. Logan knew it’s contents before he opened it. He still needed to know. He needed Patton’s love and this was the closest he could get. Holding his breath in, he lifted the lid of the jewelers box. Inside was the most beautiful ring he had ever seen. Three deep blue sapphires set against a sterling silver band.

All thoughts of how early it was in their relationship never came. Just barely over four months seemed perfect to him in that moment. This ring gave him hope-hope that Patton would return to him to hear his answer. He lifted it out of the box with shaky, pale fingers. There was an inscription.

My Starlight

Logan tried to put the ring on his ring finger, it was a bit too loose, of course, Patton didn’t know his ring size. So he put it on his middle finger. It fit just fine. So close, but so so far.

He moved himself to the couch, still staring at the ring. He whispered a prayer to any of the stars above that Patton would return.

The stars must have burnt out in the night, because he never did. That night, or the next. So with new heartbreak came a new year.

525,600 Minutes

Spring

Springtime was usually a sign to Patton that the dark days were over. The sun making its way out of the storm clouds was the message to him that he survived. Every flower bud told him he made it past the winter. This year, however, he didn’t respond. The season coming in was a lie.

It was just another early spring sunrise peeking into his window. It was February 7th. One more week until Valentine’s day. If he had just not been so quick to overreact, he’d be where he belonged. Waking up to the bare bit of sun with the only person who would enjoy it enough. Instead, he woke up in his apartment. His dark, messy, lonely apartment.

Like he had done every morning since the mistake, he went to his fridge to search for a beer. He had been sober for two years when he had met...him. He had finally gotten a job that he was good enough at to stick with. He had finally had all the pieces of the puzzle complete. Perhaps he jinxed himself by trying to rush into the next step of his life. Maybe by buying the ring so soon, he had set in stone the doom he knew would come.

That’s why he walked out. He knew he had already corrupted the only good thing in his life. He was so disgusted with himself. So...icky. He felt wrong. That day he cemented that fact with slipping up. Without Logan, without his steady presence, he kept slipping further down the rabbit hole.

Work had stopped calling him to come in, and after two weeks he got an email saying that he had been terminated, and to come in to collect his last paycheck. He never did. Let Skye keep her money.

However, he was disappointed when he was confronted with an empty fridge. He used the last little bit of his savings to cover rent. He felt anxiety grip his chest. He knew he needed to go pick up that check after all.

He didn’t bother changing into suitable clothes. His clothes were all dirty anyways. He just put his cardigan on over his pajamas. Grabbing his wallet and phone, he left.

The light outside was too bright. The false reminder that hope was right around the corner. He put his hand up to block the sun. To block the truth. To block the facts that he was screwing up royally.

He always walked as much as he could. He did have a car, he just chose to walk whenever he could. When he was in the rehab program a year ago, they had told him walking was a good way to distract from the troubles that tempted him to drink. What an irony that he was now using that to go get what he needed to keep going down the rabbit hole. He wondered to himself if he ever did tell Logan that he was an alcoholic. Probably not. He had been too open already, and he didn’t need Logan to pretend to worry about him more.

He frowned as he came up to the coffee shop. There was a reason he avoided the place. It was a harsh reminder to what once was. What was a building full of new opportunities became a building of false hope. He planned to go in as quick as possible then leave as soon as the money was in his hands.

The bell rang above his head as he entered. He remembered the way it rang when Logan had walked through the door. Now, the ring was a shout ringing in his head about how wrong he was.

He walked up to the counter to see Skye, the owner herself, running the counter. Worry filled her eyes as she took in Patton’s appearance. “Wow, Patton, are you okay?” she asked, concern lacing her voice like a thick fog.

He smiled, feeling more hollow, “Yeah, just a lazy day. I’m here for the check.”

She didn’t seem convinced, and he couldn’t blame her. “Yeah, I’ll get it in about fifteen minutes when it’s my turn for break. Why don’t you sit down and wait?”

Patton just shrugged and sat at the table in the corner by the window. Their table. He was a masochist. Maybe the promise of this spring was the promise to remind him of his failures. Failure to stay sober. Failure to to dress himself properly. Failure to keep a job. Failure to keep-

Almost as if the universe were out to punish him further, the bell above the door rang. He saw the slicked back black hair and quickly turned his back to the counter. Please, please don’t see me like this.

He heard the usual order come from Logan. He almost felt the twitch in his fingers to put the order in the register.

He barely heard Skye say something else to Logan. Hoping to himself that she wasn’t pointing him out. He knew this was not going to be the case. Skye cared about them both. She wanted to make sure her friends were okay.

He didn’t want Logan to see him like this. Broken, small, a failure. He curled up in the booth, painfully aware that he and Logan were the only ‘customers’. He knew the moment Logan saw him because he could feel that familiar warmth of his gaze on his shoulder. He closed his eyes. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. He didn’t need to cry. It was over. That’s why he needed to cry, though. It was over.

“Hello, Patton.” Logan greeted.

Patton turned to see Logan standing above him. Logan looked very put together. He looked normal. His clothes were neat, his hair was tidy, and he was carrying his iced coffee like when they first met. It was like being taken back to the past. However, it was a dulled reflection. Logan’s blue eyes weren’t lit up with curiosity, they were iced over. His mouth wasn’t twitching up into a smile, his face was extremely neutral. While Patton’s appearance screamed and outed his heartbreak, Logan’s heartbreak was just a whisper.

“Hi.” It took everything in his power to not call him Starlight.

Logan gestured to the booth, silently questioning if he would sit. Patton just nodded.

Logan sat across from him, a sigh escaped from their lips both. Patton had already started to feel Logan’s grounding presence. For the first time in over a month, he felt hope. Was this the promise of spring?

“I’d ask how you are doing, but I can tell by the silence between us after you left, and your appearance, you are not doing well.” Logan remarked with no tact.

Patton looked out the window. There were couples walking by, children walking with parents. Every single one had a smile on their face, glancing up at the sky. Patton saw that spring had blessed them with kept promises.

“I’m not. I’m not okay one bit,” Patton started, “I don’t have any excuse, or reason, and frankly I’m still a bit drunk from last night so I’m not sober enough to talk about this.” He cringed at that last remark. Logan didn’t know. They had so little time he never told. He didn’t have enough time to tell him everything.

He risked a glance to see Logan nodding with pursed lips. There was a moment of intense silence before Logan started to talk, “I don’t blame you, you know. I don’t hate you, either, and looking at you now after the month that’s passed just shows me that you hold as much pain as I do.”

Patton closed his eyes, “You clearly don’t seem to be in as much pain as me.”

Logan slammed his fist on the table, causing Patton to jump. “Bullshit, Patton.” Patton took in a breath. The ice cold exterior had broken and Logan was spilling over his raging river of anger. “Do you know how long I waited by the door? Do you know how long I stayed home, waiting for you? Do you know how often I called? I may not hate or blame you, because with all this pain I still love you, but I sure as hell am pissed.” Logan’s stare was more intoxicating than anything Patton had consumed.

“I know,” Patton said simply. “Where’s the ring?” he asked, looking at Logan’s bare hands. He hadn’t held any expectations, but it still hurt to see the reminder of what he threw away.

Logan loosened his tie and pulled out a chain, and on it the ring. “It didn’t fit, and I wanted to wait to resize it until you came back.”

He could no longer hold back his tears. Seeing that Logan still held onto hope while Patton threw all of his away showed him just how far he had strayed. He wished so badly he was redeemable enough to go back to the way it was before. He felt so wrong. He leaned his head in his hands. The fog cleared his mind with every sob that escaped from him. He saw the mess he had created. He saw his overreaction to everything. He saw that Logan still carried hope, possibly for them both.

He noticed when Logan had reached over and started to stroke his hair. The way his curls fit around Logan’s fingers made him feel homesick. He used one of his hands to reach across the table, and with no hesitance Logan grasped him. “I’m so sorry, Logan.” he got out.

“I forgive you, Sunshine.” Logan said gruffly. Patton looked up to see Logan was also crying, just more quietly than him. “Please tell me what happened? Please tell me where you went? Just tell me why you never came back.”

The pleas actually reached Patton’s heart. The storm clouds had parted in his mind. He calmed himself down and sat up.

Before he could start to explain, Skye came up to them with an envelope in her hands. She just set it on the table and patted Patton’s shoulder. Her green eyes were filled with pity, and he noticed her go to the door and switch the sign to ‘CLOSED’. He was silently grateful for the privacy she was giving them. He didn’t deserve her kindness after the way he treated the job she had given him.

“Okay,” he breathed out, “Okay.”

Logan sat there, waiting for a response. “I guess,” he started, “I guess I was afraid. I was afraid that I had messed it all up. I didn’t want to give you that ring in the way I did. I was afraid, so I slipped up when I left. I went to the bar,” he closed his eyes in shame, “I went to the bar after two years of being sober. Then when I woke up the next day, not knowing where I was, just in some abandoned house...I hadn’t been that low in years.

I didn’t want to face you after that. We hadn’t even talked much about who I was before you. I couldn’t tell you like that. I couldn’t show you my dark side like...that. So I didn’t. I didn’t, then I just stopped trying to get through it all. I stopped caring,” he choked, “I stopped caring about the progress I threw away. So I threw the hope I held for our future away too.”

He stopped when Logan grasped both of his hands. Logan’s eyes weren’t full of judgment, or pity, or even anger. He still looked so in love it hurt Patton even more. He wanted Logan to be angry with him. “Why aren’t you angry with me yet?”

“Why should I be?” Logan asked, “Why should I punish you more than you’ve already punished yourself?”

Patton shrugged, not knowing how to respond to that logic. He sighed. He didn’t know what to do, he never thought he’d be this close to Logan ever again.

Logan started rubbing his thumbs over Patton’s hands. “Come home with me, Sunshine. I can’t- I can’t bear to see you like this. Please.” It wasn’t a question. It was near a demand.

Patton smiled softly at the man in front of him. He was nowhere near okay, but the promise of spring was that they will both be there someday.

He agreed, “Okay, Starlight.”

Logan hung his head in relief. “It’s so good to hear you say that, Patton.”

~~~~

Patton woke up shaking. He hadn’t been able to stop shaking for three days. He did not miss the withdrawal. He was shaky, he was anxious, and he had been vomiting non stop. His body ached, and he was on day 6 of being sober.

Logan had to go back to work after the first two days since Patton had come back to his house. He left the school’s number on the coffee table, bathroom mirror, fridge, and bedroom door. Reminders that he wasn’t alone. He didn’t want to be an annoyance again, but Logan insisted that he wasn’t. There was a strain in his voice whenever he reminded Patton of this.

Patton tried to stand to head to the bathroom, but he wobbled. Dizziness came in waves along with the headache. He rubbed his cheek to get some feeling in his face. He felt numb. He kept going in between numbness, and extreme emotions. He felt like he was going crazy. He stumbled toward the black curtains. He peeked outside to see it was raining. He sighed, the weather was matching his mood.

He grabbed some of his clothes from the floor. Getting dressed sent pins and needles up his legs. He felt so miserable, and without Logan there, he felt cold. Taking baby steps hurt. It was definitely a fitting punishment for him.

He made it downstairs with no problem. He wanted to check the kitchen for food since he was hungry, but he knew it was pointless. He saw the spot on the kitchen floor where he had thrown up the chicken noodle soup Logan had made for him the night before. There was no indication of his sickness, Logan had been cleaning up for him with infinite patience. Patton felt a pang of guilt as he walked into the living room.

He sat on the couch, reaching for the now clean puke bowl Logan assigned to him. On the coffee table next to the sticky note of the phone number, was another note.

Please don’t hesitate to call me if you need. Also, if you can, please consider what you would like to do for Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Patton started to tear up. Just last week he hadn’t thought he’d be spending Valentine’s day with his boyfriend. He thought he’d be back at the bar, probably hooking up with someone else to curb the loneliness he had felt. Instead, he was shivering, drowsy, and anxious. He was back at the beginning of recovery. This time, though, it was different.

Spring had brought him the promise that he didn’t need to be alone anymore. The rain outside was a healing one, washing away the wounds of his past to strengthen the budding future between him and Logan. He thought about what he wanted to do tomorrow. He didn’t want to go out, while so far that morning he was a bit stronger, he wasn’t strong enough to handle an outing. He thought about maybe staying in and watching a movie. It was boring, but he hoped Logan didn’t mind.

Logan, who didn’t deserve any of what Patton had given him since the new year. Logan, who had become so soft, so much more sensitive because of Patton. Logan, who he heard crying in bed when he thought Patton was asleep. Logan, who looked at Patton like he was a dream. Logan, who left sticky notes and was willing to be bothered at work than have Patton leave again.

It was too much, Patton thought to himself. Too much to think of by himself. He hadn’t been able to thank Logan properly, or talk properly, since the withdrawal had started. Logan had gone to his apartment to gather his things, and made sure Patton’s car was still safe in the building’s garage. Patton didn’t even ask to move in, he had just stayed because he was too weak to go back to his place. Logan didn’t seem to mind.

Sweet Logan. His comfort. His boyfriend. Was he? Were they back together? Doubt crept into his mind again. What if Logan was letting him stay there because he felt bad for him? What if Logan was crying at night because he was too hurt to have Patton lay in his bed with him?

Before he knew it, he had dialed the work phone number in his cell to call. He was shaking really bad. He wasn’t throwing up, and he could technically move on his own, but he didn’t want to be alone. He couldn’t be alone. He needed Logan to reassure him that it was going to be okay. He needed Logan to remind him of the promise of spring.

The office had connected him to Logan’s classroom phone. A student picked up, “Room 48, who is it?”

Patton tried to speak through the shakes, “A family f-f-friend. It’s an emergency, c-c-c-can I sp-sp-speak to L-Logan?”

The student didn’t verbally answer, but two seconds later he heard his voice on the line. His shakes started to subside a tiny bit as he took in Logan’s soothing voice. “What’s wrong?”

“I c-can’t st-stop shak-k-king” he stuttered out. He was trying to curl up in a ball as his stomach churned. “C-could y-you come hom-m-me early?”

Logan sighed on the line, and Patton’s anxiety skyrocketed. He caught Logan at a bad time. He was going to be bothered and cranky and-

“Give me thirty minutes, is that sufficient or do you need someone there sooner?” Logan didn’t sound annoyed, just concerned.

“Thirty is f-fine,” Patton whispered into the phone.

“I’ll see you then.” Logan promised, then promptly hung up the phone.

Patton just laid there on the couch and let the tears stream down his face. He was too tired and cold to sob. He reached for a blanket and pulled it over his head. He closed his eyes, and next thing he knew he was asleep again.

He woke up a bit later to Logan shaking his shoulder. “Patton. Patton, could you wake up for me?” Concern was lacing his voice which encouraged Patton to try to respond.

“Yes, Logan?” he responded sleepily. He was so tired, he wanted to go back to sleep. He couldn’t help himself and fell back asleep despite Logan’s protests. His voice was like a fading echo as Patton drifted off. Sleeping kept the headache at bay.

His eyes fluttered open to the sound of heavy boots walking toward him, and there was a flashlight in his face. He noticed on the ceiling there were blue and red lights, and a radio was playing a ton of voices. In the back of his mind he knew there was an ambulance.

He wanted to say something, but instead fell back asleep. Or was it sleep? Was the sleep actually him passing out? It might have been.

Next time he woke up there was a pain in his elbow. He opened his eyes slowly, and he definitely was not on the couch. He didn’t need to ask anyone to know he was in the ER. It wasn’t his first time. He saw the pain in his elbow was an IV, probably fluids. He looked to the other side of his bed to see Logan scrolling on his phone with one hand, and holding Patton’s hand in the other.

Logan heard Patton’s head turn, and looked up. Without a word he stood up and kissed Patton with such passion he might have passed out again just from the butterflies in his stomach. He tasted the salt in Logan’s tears. He was suddenly aware of how dry his own lips were, and his tongue, and his throat.

Logan broke the kiss to lean his forehead on Patton’s. “Thank you so much for calling me home, though I would like for you to refrain from giving me anymore heart attacks this year.”

They both dissolved into hysterical giggles. Logan kept kissing Patton all over his face. Patton couldn’t help but laugh. They continued the playfulness until a nurse walked in.

“Good to see you awake, sir. Could you tell me what you remember?” the nurse asked while swiping a card in a scanner by the computer.

Patton told him of how he had stopped drinking the week prior, how he had been having some pretty bad withdrawal, and how he had managed to call Logan before ‘falling asleep’. Logan held his hand through it all, encouraging him to continue when he was too embarrassed. Once he was done, the nurse checked his vitals and walked out.

Patton looked at Logan, blushing. “Sorry for all the trouble, Starlight.”

“Don’t despair Sunshine,” Logan raised a brow, “However, when I requested you consider where you wanted to go for Valentine’s day, this was not what I had in mind.”

Patton furrowed his brow until Logan showed him the time; twelve fifteen am.

Patton giggled again, ignoring the way his abs clenched in pain. “Oops, happy Valentine’s Day I guess.”

Logan just chuckled and shook his head. They both kissed one more time, not caring about the setting they were in. They were together again.

~~~~

May had come, and Patton was happy. The spring rains had stopped so the flowers were blooming everywhere. He loved seeing the flowers in the park open. The world was back to being full of bold colors. The promise of spring had been fulfilled. He was okay again.

He had just finished his interview with Skye. Skye, the ever so patient and caring friend, told him that once he made it to six months sober he could have his job back. Patton readily agreed to the deal. It was more than what he thought he would get.

He was on his way to his usual Thursday 3:15pm appointment. He had an exercise he’d been trying out to see if it helped his mood. On his way to the clinic, he’d make a mental list of three things that held beauty. It could not be the same three things each week. It had been working, and it made him more observant overall.

This week’s three things were: the last flower on the rose bush outside of Logan’s house was blooming, the bookstore had a new display in the window, and there was a golden retriever tied to a bike rack outside the barber shop. The dog had greeted him excitedly, and looking at his watch he had a few minutes to talk to the dog.

“Aw, you’re so gorgeous. I wish I could say hi longer, but I have an appointment to get to. You are adorable, and I hope you also have a good day.” He spent some more seconds petting the dog, and when he made to stand up the dog licked his hand. Bonus beautiful thing.

He made it to the building at 3:05 pm. It was a smaller, green building that sat between a thrift store and sushi bar. Patton wasn’t one for fish, but he knew Logan was. He wanted to take Logan to sushi, but he was going to wait until his first paycheck after returning to work. It was one more thing to motivate him to keep moving forward.

When he was called back to the office, he couldn’t stop grinning to himself. The room was decorated with all of his favorite cartoon characters. When he had first started coming to therapy, he was pretty shy. He had been through it before, and after a while it had gotten too predictable. He knew what he was supposed to do, and when he reached a year sober he wanted to try on his own.

Logan had brought up therapy as an idea, just to help with recovery since relapsing. The doctor was apparently a volunteer at the middle school, after being a grief counselor for the students after their classmate’s death in November. Logan had talked with the doctor when Patton had left. Naturally, Patton was hesitant at first. After a week of Logan talking incessantly about him needing therapy, he gave in. He couldn’t resist his boyfriend’s pleas for long. He learned that the hard way.

He sat on the black sofa, smiling at the Finding Dory poster behind the doctor’s desk. It was only a moment later when the doctor came in.

“Hello, Patton! Do you how do?” the man cheerfully greeted.

Patton grinned in response. They had only had four sessions together, but the rapport was such a good fit. “Hi Dr. Picani, I’m alright. I saw a dog on my way here.”

The therapist gasped, “Was it adorable?”

“Aren’t all dogs?” Patton posed. They both started laughing.

Dr. Picani sighed in relief. “So, what are your threes?”

“Well, the dog I met today. There was also a new display in the bookstore. The last one is that the rose bush in our yard bloomed the last bud.” Patton sighed dreamily, he had taken to tending to the yards since he had the time on his hands. He wasn’t very experienced, but the last rosebud blooming helped boost his confidence.

The therapist couldn’t stop smiling. “Would you like to explore those, or would you like to talk about something else?”

“Well,” Patton squirmed, “Kinda both? I noticed something when thinking about the rose bush.”

“Alright, I’m listening.” Picani grabbed his pencil and notepad.

“In February, when I was at my low point, I had told myself that springtime’s promises of new hope were lies. I had messed up something I loved, I had thrown away two years of sobriety, I mean,” he tried to correct himself. His last session they had worked on the reminder that relapse is a part of recovery. It just meant he had a new goal to reach, and did not discount the proof that he was capable. “That’s what I had thought.”

“When I was in high school, the only reason I tried to push through my struggles in winter was that lovely reminder that I was one day closer to Spring’s Promise,” he smiled to himself, “I’d get to see the flowers bloom.”

“I see,” the therapist nodded, “So the rose budding was a reminder that you had survived another cold winter?”

“Yes!” Patton exclaimed. It was nice to have a therapist who understood him this well.

Dr. Picani scribbled some notes on his pad, then looked up at Patton. “What was this spring’s specific promise? What made you think that this year the promise was a lie?”

Patton looked down at his lap. He had trouble finding the words he needed, and the doctor waited patiently. “I suppose...well I suppose this year the promise was that I was one step closer to, to, well…” Patton rubbed his face and chuckled nervously, “Sorry, I don’t know why I can’t say it.”

“It’s okay, Patton,” Dr. Picani assured softly, “You are safe here.”

Patton nodded. He was safe. He was safe, and he was okay, and he was alive. “That was the promise.”

All the man across from him could muster was an eyebrow raise.

“The promise was I would be safe. I would be secure. Secure in my relationship, in my job, in my sobriety- the promise of this spring was that I was safe. Then…” he trailed off, tears starting to form when the bad feelings in his chest started to resurface when he thought about it. He took the box of tissues Dr. Picani offered. “Thank you. Then I made one mistake and all of that safety was thrown away. The worst part is that I was the one who did the throwing.”

Dr. Picani nodded, adding some more notes on his pad. “Have you ever heard of self-sabotage?”

Patton scoffed, “Yeah, it’s probably the most popular phrase in rehab centers.”

“Hm. Do you know why that is?” Patton shook his head no, so the doctor elaborated, “A lot of people with addictions tend to self sabotage. When someone who gets the life they had always dreamed of, well they tend to have doubts about whether they really deserve it. Does that sound familiar to you?”

Patton nodded, starting to make connections, “So when the doubt comes in, it can be easy to blow one small bad thing into something huge?” He asked.

“Exactly! So when an inevitable, minor miscommunication happens, it can reaffirm that doubt. What is your first instinct when you feel afraid?”

Patton scrunched his eyebrows in deep thought. What was his first reaction? Obviously he ran away, but that was his first action. What was his first response when afraid?

“Hide. I want to hide, and I want to escape. I want to avoid it,” he answered.

“Why is that, do you think?” the therapist tapped his pencil against his chin in thought.

“Hm. I guess because it’s less painful. Drinking was my escape for a while...but then it didn’t last. It just caused more pain.” Patton looked the doctor in the eyes. “Is that why I ran from Logan that day?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” the other man responded, in classic therapist fashion.

Patton laughed a bit at that trope. Shaking the thought out of his head, he focused back on answering the question. “It is. I wanted to hide from the pain of our first real fight.”

Patton felt a release off of his shoulders when he made the confession. Realizing that the promise of spring was never broken, it was just delayed. He had been seeking security in all of the wrong places. He felt the final piece of the puzzle fall into place. Spring’s promise had been kept.

He came home right after Logan. Without hesitance he pounced onto his love and planted a kiss on the man’s lips. He held the man in his arms and felt the roots from autumn continue to grow beneath them. He was no longer scared of ruining it all. He felt secure in himself to be able to handle whatever challenges came his way.

Logan pulled back, a puzzled smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you too, Sunshine. What was that for though?”

Patton laughed and wrapped his arms around Logan. “I feel safe with you. Thank you for being my constant. Today I realized you’re as steady and eternal as the stars,” He planted another kiss, “Hm, maybe that’s why I call you my Starlight.”

Logan smirked against his lips. “I hate to break it to you, but the light of the stars we see are probably a result of the distance the light traveled. Some believe the stars we see have actually died.”

Patton giggled and playfully slapped Logan’s shoulder. “Shut up and let me be romantic.”

They kissed once more, smiling the whole time.

525,600 Minutes

August was almost over. Logan was very aware of what day it was for him and Patton. He couldn’t stop pacing in the living room while he waited for Patton to return from work. He had everything set up just right. There were candles flickering in the living room with the lights dimmed. He had gotten over his fears of what he had planned, mostly.

He and Patton had never fully discussed what his ring meant. At the time, it was meant to be an engagement ring. The reasoning being a bit extreme for Logan, and the fallout after, made him hesitant to accept an engagement. He still wore the ring on his neck. It was a reminder. It was a promise. He never took it off, up until that moment.

He was still pacing when Patton walked in. Patton’s brown eyes widened in astonishment at the setup. “Logan, Starlight, this is-this is magical.”

Logan cleared his throat nervously, and adjusted his glasses. “I uh, I have something I need to tell you. Let us sit on the couch?”

Patton nodded and sat down obediently. Logan wanted to sit, but he decided at the last minute it was better to stand and pace. It helped bring his thoughts together. “Patton, on this day last year I took a chance. I kissed you, and I have kissed you many times since.”

Patton nodded, “Yeah, that’s kind of what boyfriends do.”

Logan blushed, and stopped pacing to look at Patton. Looking at Patton, his lover, his light, his everything. If he had doubts before, he didn’t then. Patton’s curls in the candlelight made him see more clearly than he had a year prior. What was only mere suspicion was now a proven fact. He was ready.

Logan hesitantly, slowly knelt before Patton. A gasp escaped from the lips of the angel. The angel that was once a mystery. His beautiful, wonderful Sunshine. “In December, when you ran, I wasn’t ready. After we rejoined in February, you weren’t ready. Neither was I, truth be told. However, now I see you. You’re thriving. You’re shining brighter every day.”

Logan pulled his ring, the ring Patton had given him, out of his pocket and put it on his own ring finger.

Patton had tears streaming down his face. Rivers covering the freckles on his face. “It- it fits now?”

Logan nodded. “I had it resized, the same day I purchased this,” he pulled a ring box out of his other pocket. It was identical to the one he had received all those months ago from Patton.

Patton covered his mouth to quiet his happy sobs. Logan cleared his throat once more. He wanted to speak clearly. “You said one year ago that my affection was a rare honor that I had given to you. Would you be so kind as to return that honor, and marry me?”

Logan opened the ring box, showing a ring nearly identical to his. However, the sapphires were replaced with yellow topaz. Patton wiped the tears from his eyes, revealing a smile. He reached for the box to pull out the ring. He put it up to read the inscription.

“My Sunshine.” they spoke in unison.

Patton put the ring on, “How did you know to get the right size?” he asked.

Logan chuckled. “I had figured that you used your own finger as a measurement for mine.” They shared a laugh before Logan hesitantly asked, “So is this a…?”

Patton launched himself at Logan, knocking him over so they ended up tangled on the floor. Logan let out a grunt of surprise that seemed quiet compared to Patton’s scream of “Yes! Yes, yes, yes my Starlight!”

They embraced, laying on the floor in the candle light. They kissed each other all over. The two, Logan and Patton, the lights of the stars and the sun, had finally seen each other clearly.

They both laid there, staring at their hands, both wearing their matching rings. A fitting finale to their first seasons of love, and a fitting beginning to the rest of their years together.

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist of any of my ships!

#logicality #logicality fic #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #Mama Cesa writes #suicide mention #self deprecation #anxiety #alcoholism #arguing #one piece fic #oneshot #over 15k words

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catchlalune · 5 years ago

Text

Cold Nights and Coffee

authors note: The feeling is warmth on a cold night with a nice cup of feelings and a shot of trouble. or alternatively; Moon Taeil is whipped

Reader x Barista/Bartender Taeil, best friends Ten and Johnny and cutie Mark

Originally posted: sometime in December of 2018 woops, it’s also posted on my ao3

word count: 4,480

warnings: alcohol, some dirty dancing, a little jealousy~, slightly suggestive, reader flat out falls on her ass and Ten’s annoying af lol

You regretted taking the chance on taking the last train back home. You were cold, sore, and really really tired. You had an exam in sociology soon and decided that studying with your friends who already took the course would be a great idea. Of course, you didn’t account for the fact that they were several train stops away from your campus and there really wasn’t much studying that got done (but there was a lot of eating, and laughing, and just about everything but studying.) You had just slipped on some ice a few minutes ago and honestly just wanted to crawl into bed and cry a little after a warm meal.

You were at least another twenty minutes from home on foot and the sign for Nouveau Café was looking very inviting. It was one of your favorite places on campus, they had great coffee, decently reliable wifi, some of the most handsome guys you’d ever seen worked there, oh and they were open twenty-four hours. Not that you were into appearances like that but they were all undeniably attractive in a way that was extremely befitting for internet cafe workers. Everyone on campus knew about NCT, Nouveau Cafe Team members were notorious for being attractive, intelligent, and great at customer service. Some things you were greatly craving right about now.

The tinkling of the bells over the door signals your arrival inside and the smell of coffee and the feel of warm air instantly makes you relax. In the back of your mind you know it looks strange to be standing right in front of the threshold with eyes closed but you can’t bring yourself to care too much. Until he says something to you of course.

“Long night?” The man behind the counter smiles at you, he always does and you can hear it in his voice as you hum.

“The longest, please give me something to make it worth it.” You finally open your eyes to give him a response and he chuckles at you.

“Wrong job for that right now, but I’ll see what I can do.” He says it with a smirk on his face and you raise a brow at him as if asking for him to elaborate but he turns from you to start on your order.

“Hey, you don’t usually work so late. What happened to Ten?” You tilt your head at his back and he stops briefly to look back at you then continues as if you hadn’t said anything. Fair enough, that question was probably pretty rude anyway.

You slip into a stool at the countertop and groan at the dull ache on your left side. You weren’t going to be able to walk well tomorrow.

“I’m disappointed, you don’t want to see me?” He asks jokingly but you can see the earnestness in his eyes as he sets down a hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and a warm muffin in front of you.

“Maybe I just wanted to bother my friend, don’t be too jealous.” You stick your tongue out at him before reaching for your muffin. You look around the establishment as you take a bite and note that it’s just as dead as you thought it’d be at 1am on a Wednesday. “Doesn’t it get boring being here all alone?”

“Not really, I’ve got you to keep me company for the time being.” He laughs as you wrinkle your nose up at his corniness. “I’m joking, mostly. I’ve been doing that Soc study guide that’s due on Monday.”

“Shit Taeil, it’s due Monday?!” You nearly choke on the cocoa you were trying to gulp down in order to question him. You hope he’s joking but he just nods and you groan with frustration. You knew you were forgetting something.

“Aw cheer up, how about I make you another hot chocolate and you can give me your email so I can send you what I have so far. We can even study together if you want to.” You thank the heavens for Moon Taeil, he wasn’t really a friend but he sat a few seats away from you in Sociology and always made your coffee just like you liked it so he was always in your good books. This just earned him a thousand more points.

“Seriously?! You’re a lifesaver! Thank you!” You beam at him and take another large gulp of your drink the warmth of it finally seeping into your fingertips.

“No problem! I’ll make the hot cocoa to go for you so you can stay awake on the drive back.” You tilt your head at his statement.

“I didn’t drive here, I walked. Part of the reason I look like hell probably.” You grumble the last part to yourself and roll your shoulder wincing slightly at the deep tug in your muscles.

“You walked...in the cold...at 1 am...when there’s snow outside?” He seemed completely mystified at the idea, it even sounded idiotic to you when he said it like that.

“Actually it’s all ice now, had to learn that the hard way.” You pout and take another bite from your muffin that was starting to get cold. His eyes widen a fraction and he leans closer to you.

“Are you hurt?! I can’t believe you fell on ice!” He sounds so concerned it makes you stop munching and swallow dryly.

“Just my pride mostly, it’s nothing I can’t handle. Don’t worry about it, really.” The fact he was so worried even though he barely knew you were extremely endearing to you.

“Well, I can’t let you walk back, at least not alone. My shift ends in like twenty minutes, I’ll take you back.”

This was now a little less endearing, extremely kind and suspiciously so. You weren’t very inclined to trusting strangers with taking you home. Granted, Taeil wasn’t exactly a complete stranger you couldn’t really say you knew him very well either. He could very well be a serial killer and you wouldn’t know it. Peeking another look at him over the edge of your mug you weigh the pros and cons of your situation. On one hand, he was offering a free ride or at least free company on the walk back, he was trustworthy enough to go off of what Ten’s said about him, he was extremely attractive, and he was going to make you a free drink. On the other hand, as good looking as he was you didn’t know him too well, Ten doesn’t really have the soundest of judgment, and he could very well be trying to kill you.

“You don’t need to feel pressured, honestly. But think about it okay?” He gives you a small smile that makes your heartbeat quicken and then goes back to scribbling in a notebook, probably doing the rest of the study guide you think.

No one else pops in for twenty minutes save for the next employee and you don’t go anywhere. Taeil places your cup of cocoa down on the counter and when you reach for your wallet to pay he shakes his head at you.

“No need, I already paid for it. Besides you really needed it.” His smile looks so genuine and you could already feel the sleep set in fifteen minutes ago, at least that’s what you tell yourself to feel better about what you say next.

“Okay, you’ve convinced me. I’ll let you take me home but just to let you know if you try to kill me I have very strong lungs and can scream very loud.” Your comment makes him (and his coworker) giggle but he nods anyway.

“Okay, I’ll see you later Taeyong.” He waves at the man that takes his place behind the counter and then turns to you. “Ready?”

When you nod he smiles softly and leads you out into the cold, tinkling of the bells above the door signaling your departure.

***

“So you’re coming out with us yeah?” It had currently been a whole week since the last time you set foot in Nouveau Café and you were really about to punch Ten in the throat if he didn’t stop talking to you before you got a cup of your nightly coffee.

Ten was for some reason over the moon about the fact that Taeil drove you home that night and that the two of you essentially studied the entire weekend together when the two if you weren’t working. He had said something about it being fate that he called out from work to practice for his dance midterm but the thought of something like fate made your stomach turn.

“Oh come on! How can you say no to this handsome face?” Ten pouts at you and it takes everything for you not to actually kick him in the shins.

“Why do you even want me to go out so bad? It’s not like you don’t see me every day.” You move your head to try to see the front of the line wondering why the hell it was taking so long. The cafe was never so busy at 8:45 on a Wednesday night before and you were starting to get impatient.

“First of all, this is the first time I’m seeing you face to face in two weeks.” He frowns at you and you look at him in shock. Had it really been so long since you’d seen him? “And second, it’s not just me. Mark and Johnny miss you too! Maybe even Jaehyun.”

“Jaehyun wouldn’t miss me if I was the last person on Earth and he hadn’t spoken to anyone in two years.” You groan and move up in the line, finally, it was moving. You weren’t usually so agitated but you were pretty sure you were going through some sort of coffee withdrawal.

“Touché, speaking of which I would really like to know what’s up with that.” He stops for a second to think about it then shakes his head as if coming back to the task at hand; annoying the hell out of you until you caved. “Anyway, Mark and Johnny miss you too and you definitely need a drink.”

“Yes, I need a drink of this coffee and- oh hi Taeil.” As soon as you see him all the tension leaves your body and you even offer him a small smile. Ten gawfs at you and folds his arms, clearly a little offended your attitude changed so tremendously.

“Hey, the usual right? My shift ends in a few minutes but I’ll make it for you. Jungwoo can you take the next customer?” Taeil gestures for you to move to the side and Ten lets out a sound.

“Hey lovebirds, I’m here too you know. What if I wanted a coffee?” He says it with a mocking pout so you pinch his cheeks with a roll of your eyes. The scene makes Taeil laugh.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make you the usual too. Thai tea right?” When Ten flashes him a smile and nods Taeil turns around to quickly start on the order.

“Ten you don’t even like coffee.” You give him a side-eye and he pouts again but this time for real.

“I like coffee! I just hate fruits.” He takes a straw from out of the dispenser and boops you on the nose with it.

“Literally how could I possibly forget how much you hate fruits? You’re always telling us! Also, how do you hate fruits but like fruit-flavored things? It makes literally no sense. You probably taste like-”

“Honey!” You have to blink twice at his outburst.

“You do not taste like honey and this is not a conversation we should be having in public.” You look around at the people in line and Taeil’s coworker but it doesn’t seem like anyone has heard anything.

“Here you go.” Before Ten can even point out that you were the one to bring it up Taeil sets your drinks down.

“How much is it?” Ten takes the words right out of your mouth and hands his card to Taeil.

“Ten why are you-”

“Now you have to come out.” He smirks at you taking back his card and grabbing your drinks. With a wink, he turns on his heel and you swear you could strangle him.

“Thanks, Taeil, now if you excuse me I have a friend to go beat up.” He shakes his head at you giving you another laugh.

“You better hurry, I hear his bones are made of liquid.”

****

“Literally why did I let you drag me here?” You were not here for it, not the tight clothes Ten made you wear, not the loud music, or the sweat of all the people around you. You really hated clubs.

“We’ve been here for all of five minutes. Besides Johnny and I are gonna by your drinks all night.” He had a good point, as much as you hated the overall ambiance you weren’t really giving the club much a chance. Plus free drinks were always a good thing, you’d been getting lucky lately in that department.

When you see the top of Johnny’s head Ten all but drags you in that direction, politely but forcefully pushing people out of the way with his body. Did there have to be so many people? It just turned 12 am for God Sake.

“Hey, cutie! Haven’t seen you in like a month.” Johnny leans down to give you a hug and you can’t do anything but smile. Of all your guy friends he was probably the one that made you feel the most comfortable.

“I haven’t seen them in like two. Move over.” Mark pushes Johnny away from you playfully and it makes you laugh so you give him an extra squeeze.

“That’s because she’s been too busy ogling over her new-” You elbow Ten in the arm before he can finish his sentence and smile at his wince. Payback for him cutting you off twice earlier.

“He’s talking out of his ass. I’ve just been busy and Sociology has been kicking my ass. If it weren’t for Taeil I’d probably be crying into a glass of cheap wine right now.” Johnny thinks this is funny and grabs a jello shot off of the table to hand to you.

“Ten said you needed some destressing. So, let's destress.” You lift the shot to your lips at his words and finally let loose a little.

Or maybe after five more jello shots, you had let loose a lot. You're sure it’s been at least two hours since you got to the club and all the dancing you’ve been doing with the guys has made the alcohol start to wear off. You tug on Johnny’s shirt and he follows you to the bar helping you to sit in the stool.

“Hey Taeil, whatever she wants just put it on my tab.” The mention of his name has you perking up in your seat and looking up to find him staring down at you with a bemused look. He looked damn good in his bartender outfit almost better than his barista uniform and it made your palms a little sweaty.

“Are you following me?” The alcohol had surely muddled your brain. You didn’t just say that out loud right? The laugh from Johnny assures you that you had just said that out loud and you groan.

“Wait let me try that again. You work here too?” Johnny mutters a smooth under his breath and if you were a little more alert you probably would’ve hit him.

“Yeah, I work here too.” Is Taeil’s reply and he’s laughing again and you really wish you would stop giving him a reason to laugh. “So what will it be gorgeous? Or should I just surprise you?”

“That was the corniest shit you’ve ever said to me ever.” He’s laughing again and Johnny just shakes his head at you. He knew you were bad at flirting but he thought he taught you a little better than this.

“Surprise it is then. I’ve got something I think you’ll like.” Taeil winks at you and you're sure your heart stops beating for a second.

“Okay, you’ve gotta get better at this. Do you need some help?” Johnny yell-whispers at you when Taeil turns his back to make your drink. Had he always had such nice back muscles?

“Help? How?” You tear your gaze away from Taeil for a second to look at Johnny who’s giving you the same smirk Ten did earlier in the café.

“Make him jealous, how else?” Johnny says it like it should be as plain as day to you and maybe it should but you weren’t exactly sure that Taeil was attracted to you. Guys flirt for fun all the time, right?

Johnny notices your apprehension and gives you a reassuring smile. “He’ll be jealous, I promise.” Then he’s on his phone texting someone so you go decide to concentrate on counting how many colored glasses there are on the wall. Six blue, five purple-

“Hey! Getting drinks without us?” Ten slides an arm around your waist and that's when Taeil turns around to set down your drink. It's pretty and looks good but you’re a little wary of trying out new alcohol.

“It’s called Golden Roots. Figured you might want something a bit fruity.” You trust him, the bartender probably knows best. So you raise the glass and take a sip.

“Holy shit that's good.” You close your eyes at the taste of pineapples and lemons. When you open them the boys are watching you so you hold the straw up to Johnny’s mouth. “You try, it's really good.”

He dips his head down to take a sip and lets out a sound of approval. Johnny turns his head to you and licks his lips but you think nothing of it and turn your attention back to Taeil. There's a flicker in Taeil’s eyes you notice and he shifts on his feet.

“How did you make it? Can you teach me?” You ask him but his eyes seem to be more trained on the arm around your waist you’re sure Ten seems to forget about because he’s having some conversation with Mark about how to say things in Thai.

“He can teach you later, I like this song. Let’s go dance?” Johnny takes the drink out your hand and places it down in front of Ten who stops for a second to give him a look. When Johnny nods at him he takes his arm from around your waist and goes back to talking to Mark.

“Okay, if you really want to.” You give in to his request with a simple shrug and he whisks you away. It’s not too far from the bar you have the perfect view of Taeil as he serves some other patrons actually but your more focused on the heat of Johnny’s body behind you.

Johnny’s hands and touches are a little more aggressive than they were at the beginning of the night and he’s grinding more on you then he ever has but you just chalk it up to the alcohol. It’s not like the two of you haven’t gotten drunk and done this before, it just feels a little different this time. But Johnny is a really good dancer and he easily pulls you into his world. The beat of the music is fast and it thrums through your veins just as hot as you feel. Your clothes are sticking to your body again and when you open your eyes you make direct eye contact with Taeil.

His jaw is set and it looks like Ten is saying something to him but he doesn't answer. Just watches you even as you give him a small wave. It confuses you a little but then Johnny is tugging on your chin to look at him and you have to look away.

“I told you I could make him jealous cutie.” Johnny has to lean down to say it in your ear and it takes you a second to process it.

“He doesn’t look jealous to me John, just tired and maybe a little annoyed because of Ten.” Johnny rolls his eyes at you then spins you around so your ass is pressed against his groin. It’s much closer than you’re used to with him and it makes your body feel just a little bit hotter.

“I bet after this you’ll definitely see it.” As if in time with his words the music changes to something much more sensual and it has your body melding to Johnny’s in a way that must look positively sinful.

It feels like an eternity that you and Johnny are out on the dance floor dirty dancing so when you sit back up on the bar you’re more than thankful for the ice that somehow still remains in your drink from earlier. Taeil has disappeared somewhere and the crowd is starting to thin as the early morning hours approach much quicker. You grab at Mark’s phone to take a look at the time and note that it’s nearing 5 am and you’re thankful you don’t have class later.

“Hey, guys I’m getting kind of tired. I think I’m gonna call it a night.” You’re a little disappointed that Taeil left before you could say goodbye but it’s been ten minutes and the only person tending the bar is some guy named Yuta who gave you a glass of cold water when Johnny asked him to. He’s nice and certainly attractive but he’s no Taeil.

“Let me take you home then?” Taeil’s voice makes you whip around startling you at how unhappy it sounds.

“Yeah, okay.”

***

It’s just as cold as it was last week when you fell on ice and your body is feeling just as sore too. Taeil deposited his jacket on your shoulders as the two of you walked to his car and he turned the heat all the way up but it didn’t retract at all to the coldness you felt. You weren’t really sure why but you felt like you’d done something wrong.

Taeil wasn’t talking much save for asking if you need more or less heat and if you were hungry or not. Even though you said no your stomach still growls so he pulled into a drive-through to get you some warm food to eat. His actions are warm but you still feel uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you okay? You’re probably really tired right? I can't believe you work at the bar too.” Taeil doesn't answer you for a second and then he sighs.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, that’s all.” You were hoping his words would make you feel a little less tense but they seem to do the opposite.

“Did I do something wrong?” You take a peek at him from your side in the passenger seat and you confirm he looks just as tired as he says he does. But he’s still just as pretty and looking at him makes your heart flutter.

“No, it’s not you at all. It’s just me being stupid.” He speaks with a somber tone that makes you pout.

“Moon Taeil you are not stupid.” You huff at him and he pulls up to your apartment with a grunt.

“Listen, can I talk to you before you go inside?” He seems a little nervous but less tired so you turn to him with a smile his jacket falling off your shoulders a little. His gaze wanders down for half a second before he chews on his lip.

“You can say whatever you want to me Taeil. You could probably curse me out and I’d probably tell you you were right.” You try to lighten the moon with a laugh but he runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“Can you just be quiet for a second?” He glares at you and it makes you frown but you nod anyway. This causes him to groan again and then he’s leaning on the console that's dividing the two of you.

“No that came out wrong, I don’t want you to stop talking I just...I like you. A lot.” He reaches out towards you then draws his hand back as if he had touched something hot. “I had no idea you and Johnny were a thing before I started flirting with you. I wouldn’t have if I had known that.”

“I-what?” He wasn’t making any sense at all. “Johnny and I aren’t dating? Wait you were flirting with me?!”

Taeil takes a second to look at you before he starts laughing. He’s laughing so hard that his eyes crinkle and a tear rolls down his cheek. You aren’t sure what’s so funny but seeing him so mirthful makes you smile wide too.

“Ten told me you were oblivious but I had no idea it was this bad! I’m sorry it’s just, I’ve been flirting with you since the beginning of the semester.” He’s shaking his head at you again looking at you as if you have stars dancing around your head.

This time when he reaches for you he tugs his jacket back over your shoulders and smiles.

“Let me show you what I mean.” And then he’s kissing you. It’s soft and warm and he tastes like mint. There’s something so casual and comfortable about the way he kisses you but it still manages to take your breath with him when he pulls away. “Do you get it now?”

“I-no not really. I mean I knew you were flirting but I didn’t know you were serious and why did you even think I was dating Johnny? I mean I know we’re close but-” He’s kissing you again this time a bit more firm and it shuts you up or it leaves you gasping like a fish rather.

“Remember when I said I was just being stupid? To be fair though, you were dancing pretty close.” He leans forward more to nuzzle his face into your neck before whispering in your ear. “But if you say yes to being my girlfriend he can’t touch you anymore.”

“But what if I want to give him a hug?” His whispers leave you breathless but the kisses on your neck leave you wanting just a tad more.

“A hug is fine, no dancing.” He runs a hand up the other side of your neck and traces along your bottom lip with his thumb.

“But what if-”

“Shhhh, what did I say about talking?”

“Actually you said you didn’t mean it.” He groans at you and pulls away completely.

“Okay okay! I’ll be quiet,” He turns to look at you then. “But only if you make me.”

“That can be arranged.”

#nct scenarios #taeil x reader #taeil scenarios #taeil fluff #taeil angst #nct fluff #nct angst #kpop scenarios #kpop fluff

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scottybrock · 5 years ago

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Sick & Sweet - Colby Brock

A/N: Based off of the prompt a beautiful anon sent: Anonymous said to scottybrock: “so could you do an imagine where the reader is sick and just wants to cuddle and colby takes of them and it’s just really fluffy”

It wasn’t often you fell ill, but when you did, it hit hard. You woke up one rainy morning to a sore throat, a stuffed nose, and a pounding head. You groaned, rolling onto your stomach as your body began aching. You glanced over to your sleeping boyfriend, and sighed, wishing for more sleep. The tickle in your throat grew more and more, until you couldn’t contain your wheezy coughs. You covered your mouth, desperately waiting for the coughing to stop as it only made your throat hurt even more. Colby cracked one eye open to look at you. Your skin was paler than normal, other than your cheeks, which were flushed due to your rising temperature.

“Baby,” Colby said softly, reaching over to run a hand down your back soothingly as you continued to cough. “Baby, lay back down.” Your coughs died down and you weakly laid back, closing your eyes wearily. Colby slid out of the bed, making his way downstairs. He walked into the kitchen and filled up a glass of ice cold water, then grabbed the bottle of Tylenol off of the kitchen counter. He hurried back up the stairs, back to you. He kneeled on the floor next to the bed, looking down at your prone form sadly. “Here, baby,” He murmured. “Drink it slowly.” He lifted the cup of water to your mouth as you slowly drank the ice cold liquid. You sighed in appreciation as the icy liquid slid down your raw throat. “Thanks, babe.” You rasped, your voice scratchy and nearly gone.

Colby hushed you, then gently placed the two capsules into your mouth, bringing the cup of water back to your lips. You felt your eyelids fluttering. Your coughing fit took most of your energy. Colby pressed his lips to your forehead as you slowly fell back asleep. Once you were sleeping, he slid a pair of shorts and grabbed a t-shirt, hurriedly throwing it on. He grabbed his car keys, then made his way downstairs once again. Sam greeted him from the kitchen, his eyes still sleepy.

“Hey, where’s your other half, brother?” Sam teased good-naturedly. Colby chuckled at that, then shook his head. “She’s sick. I’m going to run out and get her some stuff to help her feel better.” Colby told his best friend. Sam frowned sympathetically, nodding. Colby quickly tied his shoes, then walked out to his car. He drove to the closest pharmacy, and quickly walked in. He wanted to get back to the house before you woke up again. He grabbed another bottle of Tylenol, some cough drops, some gatorade, and a fever-reducing medicine. On his way to the cash register, he spotted a blue stuffed dog. He smiled, picked it up, then placed it into the basket. He grabbed your favorite candy, then turned around to grab some ice cream, in hopes that it would help soothe your throat.

After checking out, he drove back home. As he made his way upstairs, he heard your wheezing coughs. He ran up the rest of the stairs, then dropped down onto the bed next to you. He gently patted your back until the coughing subsided. You looked up at him, your eyes teary from the pain of your coughing. He ran a hand over your forehead, checking your temperature. “Hey, babe, I went out and got some stuff to help you feel better,” Colby told you quietly, aware of how you winced at any loud noises. You smiled feebly at him, squeezing his hand. “You’re a saint, Colbs.” You whispered, rubbing at your throat.

Colby began unpacking the bags. He held up the cough drops, and your eyes brightened. He opened the bag and handed you one, smiling as you immediately popped it in your mouth. He showed you the rest of the medicine and the gatorade, and you felt your heart swell. Finally, he grinned at you. “I have a few more things for you.” He held up the stuffed animal, and if you could’ve squealed, you would’ve. He handed it to you, laughing softly as you brought it to your chest and cuddled it. You beamed up at him, and he was momentarily taken aback at how genuinely beautiful you looked, even when you were ill.

He held up a carton of your favorite ice cream, then displayed your favorite candy. Your smile only grew wider, and your eyes even brighter. “You’re too good for me, Colbs,” You murmured through smiling lips. Colby shook his head, placing the bounty onto the nightstand next to you. “Not true, baby.” He told you, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. You pouted suddenly, alarming him. “What’s wrong, babe? You alright?” He asked, his voice urgent. You pouted even more. “I’m fine, I just wanna kiss you.” You whined, your voice scratchy. Colby raised an eyebrow. “So what’s stopping you?” He asked, amused. You frowned at him. “If I kiss you, then you might get sick.” You replied, your eyebrows furrowing. Colby rolled his eyes, then leaned down and pressed his lips against yours softly. You couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, feeling his lips curl up against yours as well. He pulled back, his smile stretching into a grin.

“Totally worth it, babe.”

#colby brock #sam and colby #colby brock fanfic #sam golbach #xplr #jake webber #corey scherer #traphouse #aaron doh #katrina stuart #tara yummy

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ice-cream-nekogirl · 5 years ago

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Dusk Till Dawn (Shinsou Hitoshi X Reader) PART 3

PART 2: https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/186248881234/dusk-till-dawn-shinsou-hitoshi-x-reader-part-2

Taglist: @estherosoro

Summary: You and Shinsou are made to suffer and forced to do things against your wills, but thinking about each other is what keeps you both from giving up.

I'm not the best with graphic things but I tried my best! This is... definitely my most... probably psychological thrilling chapter... I’ve watched a lot of shows that include torture so... I think I did well? I tried ^^; But this does serve as a warning for some who might not be good with torture scenes or the idea of torture. There’s quite a lot of angst in here too.

Warnings: Some graphic violence, gore and sexual situations.

Featuring: Our Purple Son!! <3

Chapter 3: Torment

3 DAYS LATER…

It hurt…

Everything in your body was hurting.

You shivered while you lied on your ‘bed’ in pain as burns and scars lacerated around your stomach, back, wrists and arms. You were positive that they were going to get infected at some point because it was still so freaking cold in here, and even with the weak jacket you still couldn’t bear the cold because it made your wounds feel even worse. And you didn’t even want to imagine how Shinsou must have been feeling since he was beaten just as badly as you were.

These men made you search for heroes and other students with strong quirks, and when you refused, they either beat you or shocked you with a cattle prod until you reluctantly gave them their location. They asked you questions about UA, and every time you refused, they shocked you again and tortured you until you tearfully gave them answers about what you knew. Your friendships with Izuku and Bakugou as well as your closeness to 1-A.

You felt so horrible when they managed to bring at least three other kidnapped teenagers and then Shinsou was forced to brainwash them or else he got prodded. So he made them do things that he never would have made anyone do, and was constantly threatened with even more severe beatings if he attempted to brainwash any of the goons like Bozo, Lothario or Mad Dog.

Guilty from the deeds you did, you silently cried for the 3rd time that day, and you didn’t even know how long it had been because it felt like you were trapped here forever. They barely took you out of this jail cell unless they needed you to find someone, or for bathroom breaks which they were surprisingly generous enough to do.

But they barely gave you any food, all you’ve had for ‘breakfast’, ‘lunch’ and ‘dinner’ was this disgusting old gruel that couldn’t have been good for your body. It tasted awful and you could barely even eat it as you felt your stomach cramp painfully from hunger. They had left a bowl of that same gruel for you, but it was untouched for the past day because you just couldn’t down it, but your stomach demanded you to put something in it…

Whimpering, you inhaled sharply as you numbly crawled to the plate, leaning in to get a small bite of the vile gruel.

The sickening taste making your tastebuds revolt as you shuddered and forced yourself to swallow it, but you instantly gagged as soon as that slop went down your throat.

At least they gave you water, in fact they gave you more water than food since humans needed water to survive. But it wasn’t enough, because you were in pain, starving, thirsty and imprisoned. It was like Hell on earth. A true nightmare for the two of you, and you couldn’t even be around Shinsou other than when they made you both use your quirks for their evil deeds.

In your moment of self-pity, you gasped with tears in your eyes when the door opened and it was Lothario, the one you hated the most as you trembled when seeing his sick grin. “C’mon you… need your mind again~.” He drawled as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulders, ignoring your weak protests and soft sobbing.

However, you forced yourself to look and see around the place, wanting to memorize your surroundings so that way you could think of possible ways to escape.

But one thing’s for sure, you weren’t leaving Shinsou behind at all.

Elsewhere…

Shinsou was curled up and trembling in the blood-stained ‘bed’ of his cell as he tried to ignore how much his body was hurting. Purple bruises spotted all over his back, chest and stomach with raw scars on his wrists from the restraints they constantly put on him. At least he didn’t have the gag in his mouth anymore, but it didn’t make the agony any or the freezing cold any better.

Bozo had it out for him, and beat him every chance he got but he was wise as he made sure to only hit Shinsou’s torso and lower body, refusing to hit him in the face or the head as to keep him alive and conscious to use his quirk.

Everything was sore, he could barely even move his limbs because whenever a bruise formed, Bozo made sure to hit the same spots over and over again to keep him weak and unable to fight back. Shinsou was thankful he at least wasn’t drugged, but he knew that he was only kept stable just so he could properly brainwash others.

Shinsou hated this, he hated everything. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as the swirling self-hatred inside of him. All the things his old classmates said about him, his ‘potential’ to become a villain, had come true…

He forced people to do things; he forced them to act as tools for Koru, and they were trapped here just like you and him were. Just like a villain, this man turned him into the villain his classmates always said he had the potential to be.

He hated it.

Shinsou didn’t even hear the sound of the door opening, no longer dreading a beating from Bozo because he felt it was deserved for what he had been forced to do. “Purple Mist.” It was another goon that went by ‘Tornado’, that he could tell but Shinsou didn’t budge from his spot. So the man picked him up, and roughly dropped him to the floor as the teen grunted slightly as the impact only made more blood from his nose leak and stain the filthy floor.

“Drink.”

Purple eyes blinked to see a ladle full of water out for him to drink from, slowly he peered up to see Tornado’s cold blue eyes. This man was silent compared to the rest of the screaming lunatics here, but Shinsou knew that he couldn’t be stable since he was here voluntarily. He enjoyed seeing him in prison like this and making him feel like a prisoner.

The last drink he had was over 24 hours ago, and he couldn’t deny that he was extremely thirsty, and starving. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that this person was doing this on purpose for his own pleasure.

“Drink.”

He repeated and Shinsou’s tired eyes narrowed a little bit; he’d been drinking nothing but water for the past couple of days because he could barely down that disgusting gruel, even though he knew he needed to eat and drink to stay alive. Maybe if he stopped drinking then these men would discard him and he could no longer do things for them. Maybe he should have stopped fighting because there was no one coming to rescue you and him.

Until he remembered you…

He couldn’t leave you, and he wouldn’t leave you…

Every time he was taken out, he remembered the halls, and carefully listened to the men talking and the sounds of heavy wind hitting the walls every room he was put into. Outside the one window he saw every day, there was nothing white. Heavy snow, he assumed, as it would explain why it was so fucking cold. And there was also a ski lift with old chairs.

But based on how far the ski-lift descended, he deducted that they were at the very top and likely near a mountain…

This place used to be a ski resort, and that made sense as to why it was far out and isolated, because it was abandoned due to malfunctioning chairs that got a few people killed back in the day according to an amused Bozo. Koru had found it and turned it into his personal fortress since nobody else came around here and with the mountain taking away Wi-Fi, combined with his powerful snow quirk, it made search and rescue almost impossible.

“Drink.”

Tornado was persistent, his expression still like stone as he looked down expectantly for Shinsou to drink so he was still hydrated, but didn’t notice that the boy was in deep thought, “Is he givin’ ya attitude?” But Shinsou’s eyes slightly widened as soon as heard Bozo’s voice.

And there he was, walking right inside next to Tornado and glaring down at the battered teenager. “Didn’t your parents ever teach ya manners? When someone gives you something, you take it and say ‘thank you’.” Bozo reprimanded him, grabbing a fistful of his hair as Shinsou shut his eyes and grit his teeth.

“I… know…” He rasped out, resenting the fact that he had to be so damn compliant, but he didn’t want to be killed or beaten any further to prevent a potential escape.

Unsatisfied, Bozo scoffed and let him go, shrugging his shoulders as he took the ladle from Tornado and held it out for Shinsou to take a drink from. Although his body was still quivering, Shinsou did pick himself up to take a drink, but then he shut his eyes when a sudden downpour of freezing water suddenly crashed over him and soaked his hair, face and torso. He sputtered and started coughing out the water that got into his nose and eyes, his body automatically shivering when the frigid air just made him colder with the added wetness.

Shinsou could barely hear Bozo’s uproarious laughter over his chattering teeth and didn’t see the bastard taking Tornado to leave. “Start showin’ manners kid… maybe I’ll be nicer to ya when ya do.” Bozo said one last time before he left the teenager to tremble all by himself in the bitterly cold room.

He hated that man, he absolutely hated him more than he’s hated anyone before. The act of cruelty doing nothing to quell his thirst as a very reluctant, but very desperate Shinsou slowly crawled over to the small little puddle of water left on the ground.

Disgusted with himself and ashamed for how pathetic he felt right now, he unwillingly pressed his lips to the spill to sip up whatever was left…

He had to survive. He had to survive for yours and his sake so you both could escape...

FIVE HOURS LATER…

You successfully found three other young teenagers that had strong quirks, and Koru had already sent out some of his goons to go and retrieve them. A stray tear fell down your cheek when you heard the boss’s heinous little giggle. Koru saw this though, and he wiped it away as you slowly peered up at him with an empty, yet repulsed gaze.

“Don’t be upset Psy-Fy… I’ve told you… we are doing a good thing here…” He ‘reassured’ you, but you knew better. This man was a lunatic, hell-bent on trafficking children.

Koru smiled at you, he was aware that you weren’t exactly broken yet. “Hey… if it makes you feel any better. You and Purple Mist aren’t going to be alone too long.” That made your eyes widen a little bit, and you felt apprehension beginning to build in your chest.

“I’ve heard the stories… Shigaraki had the right idea… but he did it wrong. He tried and failed to get that Bakugou kid… and didn’t bother to get any of the other stronger ones with the useful quirks… what were their names again?” He feigned innocence as he recollected the names of your friends that you were forced to tell him, “Midoriya, Kaminari, Endeavor’s kid, sweet Yaoyorozu and Uraraka… or even that weird bird kid… ”He started smirking as soon as he saw you trembling when some of your very good friends were mentioned…

“It’s because he didn’t have enough resources and couldn’t get close enough to him… it was sloppy work. Very sloppy… not enough back-up, and not an inside source… or even a villain with a quirk useful enough…” Koru’s eyes widened as he gave a false gasp, clasping his hands together as he gave you an open-mouthed grin.

“But we do! We have you! And Purple Mist! Your quirk can find them… I’ll send Bozo and Mad Dog to find him… and Purple Mist will make them do what I need them to do!” He said excitedly, snickering when you visibly shook and tears sprung to your (E/C) eyes.

Choking on a sob, you shook your head, “N-No… please no… d-don’t… don’t make me… please don’t make me look for my friends… please don’t make me find anyone anymore…” You tearfully begged and whimpered, but all Koru did was give you a look of fake sympathy. “I NEED those kids Psy-Fy… why can’t you just understand that this is all for a greater world?” He asked you softly, a slight edge of roughness at the end of his sentence when you shook your head.

“N-No… No I’m not gonna help you find Izuku or Katsuki… I ain’t helping you find any of them…” Your lip quivered as you refused and Koru’s baffled face contorted into a silent fury as he smacked you hard in the face. A loud shout left you as you tried to hold it back, but his hands were so cold and firm and you cried out when he grabbed your hair, pulling on your scowl as he snarled.

“I NEED YOU (L/N)!! I need those kids!! They are the tools for my plan! A plan that’s even bigger than all of us to remake the world into a greater one, and you are NOT GOING TO FUCK IT UP!!” He screamed in your face as spittle’s of saliva splattered onto your face; your eyes shut as you bit your bottom lip to quell a terrified wail.

You whimpered and gulped hard, your body shaking on a knife’s edge as you reluctantly nodded, not wanting this man to beat you again…

But you had your own plan…

“Now find em for me…” He muttered to you, as you shakily nodded and allowed him to take you outside to the satellite dish. The cold wind pierced through your thin clothes and made you shiver and throw your arms around you, but Koru wasn’t concerned as he put the headpiece on you so you can track the people like some kind of fucked-up Cerebro. “I want Bakugou and Midoriya…”

Koru gave you the order and you nodded through your shivering, closing your eyes as you searched throughout the country thanks to this satellite. Blocking out how cold you were to focus as hard as you could…

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neokollection · 6 years ago

Text

Mine To Play With ㅡ Doyoung (M)

A/N: Someone asked for a continuation of drying DY’s hair- So, I'm here doing it because I’m in a Doyoung mood and a horny mess ready to take it out on him :/

**MATURE**

Word Count: 2K ㅡ Genre: Domestic smut & fluff ㅡ Teaser: A lazy day with your man while your hormones are raging causes you to have horny temptations. Who better to take it out than your ever willing boyfriend?

no, im not oki

Your period certainly came with a plethora of side effects, a wild appetite, mood swings at ungodly hours, cramps and pains, and occasional horniness. Your victim, always your victim, endearing Doyoung, sat idle on your floor- He’d been playing Need For Speed on your phone to help you level up since you’d been whining about being stuck on a level. However, slumber had gotten the better of him... His head hung low your phone caressed by his familiar hands. His hands- They were beautiful, warm hued and smooth skin that you loved to touch, prominent knuckles and veins that snagged your attention, and slender delicate fingers that did ungodly things to you. You’d nearly been nodding off to sleep yourself, watching over his shoulder from your comfortable bed-

“Youngie,” you murmured, stretching your leg beneath the covers to nudge one of his broad shoulders.

His shoulders- They were so broad. A safe haven for only you to embrace and to protect you- Prominent and alluring, it was prime real-estate that was begging to be marked.

“Dongyoung,” you tried again, nudging him once more.

“It’s weird when you call me that,” he muttered, raising his head before shaking his tresses to get them out of his eyes.

“I miss you,” you whined, a pout forming on your lips.

You weren’t normally this needy or cutesy, but you couldn’t help it at the moment.

“What do you need?” he questioned, shifting slightly to set your phone upon your nightstand.

“You,” you half-joked.

He crawled onto your bed, resting atop your covers as you shifted beneath them, the homey sounds of sheets shifting causing him to smile to himself tiredly.

“Let’s take a nap,” he suggested, shifting to let his face fall to your pillow, draping an arm over you.

“I don’t want to sleep,” you hinted, wiggling closer.

He let out a muffled hum into your pillow to serve as an inquisition as to why- Reaching over, you massaged the nape of his neck gently, knowing it must have been sore from how he’d fall asleep.

“Because I want to spend time with you.”

“You are-”

“I want you to hold me,” you blurted, dragging out your words.

Knowing how childish you could get if your affectionate demands weren’t met, he slipped off the bed, throwing back the covers before sliding in, nudging you to scoot over with his body pressed to yours. His arms wound around you, his face tucking itself into your shoulder, his cheek resting upon the fabric of your sweaters as his doe-like eyes met your own for a moment before closing. Disrupting the peace, you turned from your back to your side to face him, peppering light kisses across the expanse of his face, to which he grinned before nuzzling into your chest as he whined for you to quit, his cheeks heating at how unusually affectionate and forward you were being. You arched your back slightly, pressing your chest against his face to savor the sensation.

“Doyoung...” you called gently.

He drew back slightly to glance upward.

“I’m really horny,” you admitted, turning sheepish.

He knew you were on your period- He was able to read the boisterous signs. Plus, you’d been using it as an excuse, as to why you couldn’t leave home, and as leverage, as to why your ice cream choice was more valuable than his due to your menstruation.

“What’s there to do?” he questioned partly to himself.

You let a hand sneak beneath the front of his black shirt, letting it raise along with your tempted hand.

“I want to do stuff-”

He let out a small hiss, swatting at your hand as you pinched his nipple. Not in the mood to be teased, he herded your hand to your other, collecting your lithe wrists in his single hand, to keep them docile.

“You have to be more specific than that.”

“Let me take care of you,” you tried, mustering a pleading expression.

Wordlessly, he released you, instead, his hands moving in haste to push your sweater upward, frowning at the sight of your bra before he was tugging it down, the straps biting into the skin of your shoulders. Your voice was caught in your throat as he leant in, pulling you closer by the small of your bra that his fingers had hooked in. He was already peppering kissed over the warm skin, his lips growing wetter with each pass. You let out a breathy sigh of his name, weaving your fingers into his black hair to pull him closer. His hot tongue glided across your nipple, causing you to screw your eyes shut to keep quiet as his teeth grazed it next.

“No, no-” you muttered, pulling at the soft hair at the nape of his neck.

As much as you loved the effect he had on you, you wanted to be the one inflicting pleasure- To touch his body and make him writhe. Your own personal pornographic content starring your dream boy.

Easily, he let you push him away, content with resting on his back as he watched you pull your sweater down. His eyes were half-lidded with lust and drowsiness, the small unconscious pout on his lips alluring your own. Letting your mischievous hand sneak under the hem of his shirt once more, you lazily kissed, swallowing his muffled sound as the pad of your finger traced around his pink areola, your palm melding to the curvatures of his chest. He could feel a blush creeping on to his cheeks, he hadn’t known you were so fascinated with his chest- The unfamiliar sensation of attention on his sensitive nipples causing him to writhe gently in the sheets. Your hand abandoned his chest, going to the front of his sweats to palm him as your lips trailed to his neck, suckling upon the side of his neck, causing him to jerk at the ticklish sensation.

“Ah- You’re so...” he paused, trying to find the right word, “horny-”

“You made me like this,” you blamed in a low utter.

You hand slipped beneath the waistband of his sweats, fingers crawling towards his length, before his hand met your own.

“Slow down- There’s no rush,” he huffed, cheeks flushed.

You wiggled your hand from under his grasp, suckling upon the delicate skin of his neck causing him to hum lowly. He gave up trying to slow you once you crawled on top of him, his head lolling to the side as you pushed his flimsy t-shirt to rest at his collars. You kept a watchful gaze over him as your lips fell to his chest, your body pressing to his own. It was easy to pull him out of his boxers and past the waistband of his sweats, tucking it beneath his taut sack as your stroked his length. Squeezing his scrotum, you watched how his brows knit together, lips parting slightly. You tore your eyes away from his features to let your teeth dig into the supple flesh of his chest, littering love bites in your wake. His skin was warm, with a salty twinge, a familiar scent- his scent. Your tongue laved across one of his nipples as you squeezed the base of his shaft, his body jolting at the sensation.

You sat back, straddling him just below where his cock lay. Your greedy gaze swept over his chest, pink marks littered, but none angry enough to leave a bruise. Your hand moved to the tip of his length, its weight comfortable in your hand as you used your thumb to swipe the precum from his tip. Doyoung let out a sigh of satisfaction, let his head fall back before nodding forward, petal pink lips parted and hair disheveled as he watched your other fingers slip between your lips.

“I want you,” he muttered, knowing he couldn’t- At least in your current condition.

You removed your glistening fingers from your mouth before licking your palm. He let out a slight whine at the lewd sight, feeling his cheeks once more ignite and his cock twitch. Using your slicked hand to caress his length, you began to tug him, forming a comfortable pace at which to pump your boyfriend’s shaft. His hips began to flex, eager for more, his chest rising and falling in unison. You angled him towards himself, flat against his toned stomach. You worked him, your slickened hand sliding from veiny shaft to rosy tip. His moans and pants were godsend to your eager ears, unable to keep quiet. He came on himself, his abdomen crunching as he lurched forward slightly, calling your name before falling limply back to the sheets.

Beneath you he lay motionless, only his chest rising and falling. You massaged his shrinking length in your palm, drinking in the sight of him. Worn out, he pushed your hands away, bucking you from his thighs. A small yelp escaped you as nearly tumbled off the side of the bed, grabbing his boney hips to stay seated. Impatiently, he tore his shirt the rest of the way off, sweat having formed along his hairline and neck. His eyes fluttered open to meet your own once he finally felt your weight crawling from him. He tugged his sweats back up to cover his decency before getting off the bed with a creak, careful to not let the cum on his stomach drip. Giddily, you followed him to the bathroom, turning on the tap to wash your hands of him. He was unusually quiet, turning to turn the knobs of the shower. You watched his back flex in the reflection of the mirror, suddenly wanting to embrace him and plant soft kisses along his warm back-

He showered, turning the water cold to cool his scorching body and regain his breath. He took longer than was necessary, his movements slow with fatigue. Opting to tug on only his shirt and his boxers before returning to your room. The bed dipped dramatically as he dropped to it, snuggling close and lazily tugging the covers over the two of you- but you squirmed away from him.

“Your hair’s wet,” you complained, the dampness uncomfortably cold on your warm skin.

With a sigh he got up, tossing the blankets away dramatically as he slinked into the bathroom. You heard some commotion before he was dropping back to the bed, reaching to unplug your phone charger and plug in your... hair dryer.

“Do it for me,” he bargained, glancing over his shoulder from where he sat on the edge of your bed.

With a small sound you sat up to crawl towards him, sitting on your haunches behind him, as you picked up the dryer. You turned it on the lowest setting, raking your hands through his hair in the process. His head bobbed to and fro where your hands raked, his eyes drifting closed. You turned it up to a higher setting, watching as the fine black stands slithered through your fingers easily, no tangles. With your fingers you brushed his bangs down in the front and the sides before drying over them, combing your fingers through the fluffiness to tame it. He let out a low hiss, bringing his hand to cover his ear; evidently you held it over the same spot for too long. With an apologetic tone, you focused on his other side, turning off the noisy dryer once you felt he was sufficiently dry. Gently, you dropped the dryer to the floor, off the edge of the bed. Brushing Doyoung’s hand aside, you saw the angry red shell of his ear. Apologizing, you tucked his hair behind it before giving it a chaste kiss. You coaxed him to lay with you once more, holding the covers open invitingly as you wiggled your way in.

Exhaustion got the better of him as he snuggled into the valley of your breasts, your inviting warmth and soft hands brushing through his tresses lolling him into a peaceful slumber.

#yep that's it- that's the post #I turned soft #doyoung #nct #nct scenario #nct smut #nct fluff #domestic nct #doyoung scenario #doyoung smut #doyoung imagine #nct imagine #doyoung fluffy smut #nct fluffy smut

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paulasldkjf-blog · 5 years ago

Text

(scroll down for references)

I’ve heard stories of athletes in their 30s/40s getting extremely sick

seek medical attention if: short of breath, blueness in lips/fingers, choking sensation, persistent pain/pressure in chest, mental confusion

symptoms take between 2 and 14 days to appear after infection

people experience mild symptoms, start to get better, then go into severe symptoms and pneumonia around day 7

mild symptoms: impaired sense of smell/taste, upper-respiratory tract infection that progresses to a lower-respiratory tract infection, dry coughing (from the chest not the throat), sore throat, headache, fever, high temperature, tiredness, aches/pains, nasal congestion, runny nose, diarrhoea

severe symptoms: shortness of breath, blueness in lips/fingers

"Seriously sick coronavirus patients in New York state’s largest hospital system are being given massive doses of vitamin C — based on promising reports that it’s helped people in hard-hit China"

if experiencing severe symptoms take 1500mg vitamin C every 6 hours (food-sources are not effective at high dosages, only liposome vitamin C will work: https://au.iherb.com/pr/SunLipid-Liposomal-Vitamin-C-Naturally-Flavored-30-Packets-0-17-oz-5-0-ml-Each/90757)

"fatality rate was 14.8% in people 80 or older ... 1.3% in 50-somethings, 0.4% in 40-somethings, and 0.2% in people 10 to 39"

"A new study found the SARS-CoV-2 virus was detectable in aerosols for up to 3 hrs, up to 24 hrs on cardboard and up to 2-3 days on plastic/stainless steel."

home-made sanitiser recipe: "mix two parts 95% non-denatured (denatured contains toxic elements to prevent drinking) ethanol ... with 1 part aloe vera gel"

fabric over the mouth/nose should help against the virus contained in water-vapour in the air

weaken immune system: alcohol, sugar, stress

strengthen immune system:

adequate sleep

moderate exercise (intense exercise temporarily weakens the immune system)

spending time in nature

vitamin D (sunlight (sunscreen blocks vitamin-d intake), organ-meat) cuts risk of respiratory tract infection by 50%

hot bath/sauna

200-500mg vitamin C /day (1 orange contains 50mg or https://au.iherb.com/pr/California-Gold-Nutrition-Gold-C-Vitamin-C-500-mg-240-Veggie-Caps/61866)

vitamin A (fermented codliver oil (1t/day), organ meats https://www.ebay.com.au/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313.TR10.TRC0.A0.H0.Xblue+ice+cod+liver+oil.TRS0&_nkw=blue+ice+cod+liver+oil&_sacat=0)

fermented vegetables (high vitamin-c content + other)

garlic and onion

bone-broth (boil bones for 3 hours)

saturated fats (butter, coconut oil, meat fats, cream, cheese)

mushrooms (chaga, shiitake, maitake, turkey tail; https://au.iherb.com/pr/Four-Sigmatic-Superfood-Blends-10-Mushroom-Blend-2-12-oz-60-g/82309?rec=iherbtest-pdp-related&gclid=Cj0KCQjw6_vzBRCIARIsAOs54z47x95jolkYlc6bTCbEnxc_5MEJlm14Q1UmX5Okc5rNSqsHLrXnhywaAiiUEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds)

berries

magnesium

essential oils

coconut oil

zinc

ground flaxseed

elderberry

licorice root

activated charcoal

chloroquine/hydroxychloroquine

peptides

oxide therapy

fermented vegetable recipe: 2g salt per 100g water (or 2.5g for warmer climate); fill jar with vegetables up to 2.5cm from the top, add salt-water up to 1.25cm from the top; taste-test every three days (or every day in warmer climates) until the taste is right, then refrigerate; they keep for months in the fridge; it should never smell/taste 'off' or be slimy; to prevent build-up of CO2, loosen/release the jar-lid every few days (fermentation-kit: https://www.nourishmeorganics.com.au/collections/cultured-vegetable-starter-cultures)

======================== SYMPTOMS/SEVERITY OF THE SICKNESS

"About half of the 109 Covid-19 patients (ages 22 to 94) treated at Central Hospital of Wuhan, researchers there reported, developed acute respiratory distress syndrome (ARDS), in which fluid builds up in the small air sacs of the lungs" [1]

"About 5% of all COVID-19 cases need intensive care, and without it, all of them will die" [3]

"If you're starting to feel severely sick though, if you're getting short of breath, if you're having any blueness in your lips or in your fingers, if the illness just feels like it's taking hold of you, you do eventually have to go in because there are interventions in the hospital that are extremely necessary" [7.1]

"They've also noticed that the progression of the illness to the severe illness seems to be happening a bit later in the course. So, somewhere around that 7 to 10-day range. So, people will often start with sort of a mild upper respiratory tract infection, progresses to a lower respiratory tract infection. Then over the course of a week, progresses to the more severe illness where they start getting the inflammation and the acute respiratory distress syndrome or the ARDS. They've also noticed that the ARDS cases are not quite as bad, and a lot of times, the patients will actually recover from the ARDS, and then it'll actually be the dilated cardiomyopathy that gets them in the end. A cardiomyopathy is where your heart stops squeezing as well, basically. So, it doesn't squeeze as well as it normally does your ejection fraction, which is an estimate of how well your heart is performing decreases severely, and then patients end up dying of basically cardiogenic shock" [7.1]

if choking sensation, call doctor

every morning breath deeply and hold breath for 10seconds. If this can be done without difficulty/coughing all good [30]

impaired sense of smell [15, 44]

cough, fever, tiredness, dry cough, aches/pains, nasal congestion, runny nose, sore throat, diarrhea, difficulty breathing [39]

"These symptoms are usually mild and begin gradually" [39]

symptoms that indicate severity and warrant seeking medical attention: trouble breathing, persistent pain/pressure in chest, confusion, bluish lips/face [40]

symptoms take between 2 and 14 days to show up [40]

"you sort of get better, then it comes back, you sort of get better, then it comes back" [42]

"little bit of cough, headache, runny nose ... for first 36hours ... got a little bit worse with muscle aches ... day five ... fever, muscle-aches, pain everywhere" [42]

"98% had fever, 76% had cough, 55% had shortness of breath" [43]

"incubation period of maybe about a week or two, and then there was the illness that lasted for 8 days, and then there was the shortness of breath" [43]

loss of taste and smell, fever, dry cough that comes from your chest, shortness of breath ("If your chest becomes tight or you begin to feel as if you cannot breathe deeply enough to get a good breath"), persistent pain/pressure in chest, blush lips, mental confusion, headaches, digestive issues, body aches, fatigue, runny nose, sore throat and sneezing [45]

"One possible sign that you might have Covid-19 is if your symptoms, especially shortness of breath, don't improve after a week or so but actually worsen" [45]

"you get better before it gets worse" [46]

"common cold, my nose was was stuffy, I had ear problems, sinus problems ... got better ... got hit with the flu ... headache ... was getting better with the flu and that's when I got hit with the pneumonia ... can't take a full breath like you need to" [46]

"very mild persistent headache ... that was a friday, then saturday I started to feel gradually worse during the day ... got to the sunday ... full flu-like symptoms, weak, achy ... cough at that point and high temperature ... felt like I was starting to turn the corner ... breathing problems" [47]

ibuprofen/advil could make it worse [48]

MOST VULNERABLE: ELDERLY AND THOSE WITH PRE-EXISTING HEALTH PROBLEMS

"this virus has been worse in the elderly and quite mild in children. And we think that's probably due to some immunity that's cross over from the other coronaviruses, which we typically get when we're children. So, that immunity is lost as we become adults and we age" [7.1]

"The people most vulnerable to viral infection and death are the elderly and those with acute or chronic diseases." [7.2]

Patients who have been tested for SARS-CoV-2 are disproportionately those with severe symptoms and bad outcomes [33.3]

"fatality rate was 14.8% in people 80 or older" [11]

"1.3% in 50-somethings, 0.4% in 40-somethings, and 0.2% in people 10 to 39" [11]

"The age-related death risk probably reflects the strength, or weakness, of the respiratory system" [11]

AVOIDING CONTAMINATION

"A new study found the SARS-CoV-2 virus was detectable in aerosols for up to 3 hrs, up to 24 hrs on cardboard and up to 2-3 days on plastic/stainless steel." [6]

"It's an enveloped virus (with a thin plasma membrane), so easily broken chemically: killed by soap/detergents" [8, slide 17]

90% of virus dies after 6h of weak sunlight [8, slide 17]

home-made sanitiser recipe: "mix two parts 95% non-denatured (denatured contains toxic elements to prevent drinking) ethanol ... with 1 part aloe vera gel" [8, slide 44]

"20 seconds of thorough hand-washing can take one down" [9]

fabric over the mouth/nose should help against the virus contained in water-vapour in the air [15]

"Covid-19 transmits very early in infection, even before people start to become unwell." [41]

"“I don’t think we know,” said Weiss when asked about the immunity question. “I think they’re going to be immune for a while." Perlman said some other coronaviruses — the four that cause colds and flu-like illnesses — can be caught more than once. He wonders if people who had asymptomatic infection would not develop enough antibodies to be able to fend off the virus on a later exposure but might have a mild infection on a second go-round." [41]

STRENGTHEN IMMUNE SYSTEM

"the less toxins we put in ourselves, the healthier we get our intestines and our heart and our lung, and the more we sleep and the lower our stress, and the more we exercise and we're doing everything to get our immune system and our biology working well, then that has potential to be a long-term strategy of preventing infections. And I would say that has been borne out in my clinical experience." [7.1]

"if you strengthen your immune system you will be okay" [11]

"The common denominator is a compromised immune system. People with robust immune systems have a much lower infection vulnerability and, if infected, a much higher survival prognosis." [7.2]

THINGS THAT WEAKEN IMMUNE SYSTEM

"Excess alcohol consumption affects booth innate and adaptive immunity, leading to a significant weakening of your defences and heightening the risk of infections. Avoiding not only sugary drinks but sugar in general will also benefit your immune function, while a high sugar intake is associated with an increased mortality risk from all causes" [33.4]

"She covers the role of 5G in weakening the immune system" [14.2]

ADEQUATE SLEEP

"I don't know if there's anything that's really going to have as much of an impact on your immunity than sleep" [7.1]

recommends [11]

"Shorter sleep duration, measured behaviorally using actigraphy prior to viral exposure, was associated with increased susceptibility to the common cold" [38]

EXERCISE

" immunity will actually be slightly lower when I'm training really hard. So, movement, staying in shape but not overdoing it will be important when you think about exercise" [7.1]

"Exercise boosts your immune system in multiple ways, including causing white blood cells, which fight disease, to circulate more rapidly, allowing them to detect illnesses sooner" [33.4]

"excess sitting is a risk factor for disease in its own right and has even been linked to an increased risk of death from all causes" [33.4]

SPENDING TIME IN NATURE

recommends [15]

"In a study of 20,000 people, a team led by Mathew White of the European Centre for Environment & Human Health at the University of Exeter, found that people who spent two hours a week in green spaces — local parks or other natural environments, either all at once or spaced over several visits — were substantially more likely to report good health and psychological well-being than those who don’t" [22]

"time in nature — as long as people feel safe — is an antidote for stress: It can lower blood pressure and stress hormone levels, reduce nervous system arousal, enhance immune system function, increase self-esteem, reduce anxiety, and improve mood" [22]

STRESS

"Worry and panic and stress deplete vitamin A, which we need to fight the virus" [14.2]

stress/anxiety weakens the immune system [33.4]

HOT WATER IMMERSION / SAUNA

"increase your own heat shock protein production and enhance your immunity, and that's via the use of frequent sauna exposure" [7.1]

recommends [11]

"sauna practice ... increases the expression of heat shock proteins and also boosts white cell counts" [7.3]

Men that used the sauna 2-3x per week were 27% less likely to get pneumonia and those that used it 4-7x per week had a 41% reduced risk compared to men that used the sauna 1x per week [25]

"Here we discuss the potential benefits and mechanisms of active (i.e., exercise) and passive heating methods (e.g., hot water immersion, sauna therapy) to reduce chronic low-grade inflammation" [26]

"Scientists are not sure why saunas have such a dramatic impact on respiratory illnesses but the theory is that the heat generated by them eases airway obstruction." [27]

VITAMIN C

(1 orange contain 50mg vitamin C)

"Extra natural vitamin C such as Pure Radiance C – 1 teaspoon two times a day or 6 caps daily" [2]

"I recommend camu camu, a bushy riverside tree. One teaspoon of its cherrylike fruit in powder form has 760% vitamin C" [4]

“People that have more vitamin C are less likely to get the illness, and if they do get it they’re more likely to have a mild case.” [5]

"Only 200mg of vitamin C...reduced the death rate of elderly pneumonia patients by 80 percent.” [5]

"So, there's some studies that have shown that vitamin C, when it was given intravenously, decrease mortality and prevent the organ system failure in patients with sepsis" [7.1]

small studies have found vitamin-c to help with sepsis (life-threatening illness caused by the bodies response to infection) [8, slide 36]

'liposomal' Vitamin C is required, regular Vitamin C will not be effective, even in high doses. 20ml/day [7.2]

"I suggest taking 200-500mg oral vitamin C during cold and flu season" [7.3]

"To find a good-quality vitamin C product, look for an all organic food based supplement, or a USP grade vitamin C, produced in a GMP certified facility. A few good brands that fit these criteria include Whole Foods Food Sourced Vitamin C, American Nutraceuticals and OrthoMolecular Buffered C capsules" [7.3]

"High dose vitamin C was discovered by Linus Pauling to fight disease" [17.1]

recommends [19]

recommends [29]

"Your best source is fermented veggies like sauerkraut" [17.3]

"vitamin C, found in foods like broccoli and kiwi, exerts anti-viral immune responses as well as has antioxidant, immunomodulatory and anti-infectious effects" [33.4]

"said his intensive-care patients with the coronavirus immediately receive 1,500 milligrams of intravenous vitamin C. Identical amounts of the powerful antioxidant are then readministered three or four times a day, he said." [21]

"The patients who received vitamin C did significantly better than those who did not get vitamin C" [21]

"natural absorption of vitamin C above an intake of about 200 mg decreases sharply by 50%" [49]

"Liposomes are phospholipid containing microscopic spheres that carry vitamin C at their core. Their absorption does not depend on vitamin C transporters like SVCT-1 but rather on direct fusion of the liposome with the small intestinal cells resulting in direct intracellular release of the vitamin C and eventually into the blood circulation." [49]

"allows it to bypass the slow vitamin C transporters present in the gut" [49]

"some products labeled as “liposomal" vitamin C don’t utilize “liposome” delivery at all" [49]

"A good liposomal vitamin C supplement should be non-GMO and preferably use phospholipids derived from sunflower lecithin" [49]

"Choose a formed liposomal or a well made pro-liposomal supplement that contains vitamin C and a fatty substance (phospholipids or phosphatidylcholine), but does not include ascorbyl palmitate, ascorbyl oleate, or cetyl ascorbate as they offer no advantage over regular vitamin C" [49]

"A good liposomal vitamin C supplement should be non-GMO and preferably use phospholipids derived from sunflower lecithin" [49]

high-quality liposome vitamin C: https://au.iherb.com/pr/SunLipid-Liposomal-Vitamin-C-Naturally-Flavored-30-Packets-0-17-oz-5-0-ml-Each/90757

high-quality (USP, GMP) non-liposome vitamin C (meaningless to take more than 500mg at one time): https://au.iherb.com/pr/California-Gold-Nutrition-Gold-C-Vitamin-C-500-mg-240-Veggie-Caps/61866

GARLIC AND ONION

recommends both [11]

recommends garlic [19]

"Onion and garlic are natural sources which are known to possess antiviral properties. It is well known that onion and garlic are rich source of organosulfur compounds. Organosulfur compounds like quercetin and allicin are associated with inhibition of viral infection" [23]

"As far as the research goes, garlic has immensely powerful anti-infective (i.e. suppressing dysbiosis and opportunistic overgrowth of microbes) properties" [33.2]

recommends garlic [33.4]

VITAMIN A AND D WORK TOGETHER

"when you take [vitamin A and D] together, that can be synergistic" [7.1]

"How vitamin D works synergistically with vitamin A" [14.2]

Vitamin D works with vitamin A to give us a strong immune system. [17.3]

VITAMIN A

"Fermented Cod Liver Oil – 1 teaspoon per day" [2]

"Vitamin A turns out has a whole diversity of ways that can improve immune function ... You definitely need to have some of it, but you don't have too much [7.1]

"eating liver once per week" [14.2]

"vitamin A (from animal foods) is critical for fighting disease" [14.2]

"egg yolks, butter, liver, and cod liver oil are good sources of vitamin A" [14.2]

"vitamin A is a powerhouse for fighting disease" [17.1]

"Foods high in vitamin A are pastured yolks, beef liver, lamb liver, cod liver oil, mackerel, salmon, pastured butter" [17.1]

"Vitamin A is a fat soluble vitamin, which means if you are taking a supplement, first of all it’s synthetic and not often absorbed by the body, but also can’t absorb if it’s not taken with fat" [17.1]

"Orange foods, high in beta carotene, like carrots, butternut squash, and pumpkin, are powerful vitamin A support as the beta carotene goes to your liver, where it is converted to vitamin A" [17.1]

"Vitamin A is our number one protection against viruses" [17.3]

"Best sources are cod liver oil, egg yolks from pastured hens, butter from grass-fed cows" [17.3]

high-quality codliver oil: https://www.ebay.com.au/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2047675.m570.l1313.TR10.TRC0.A0.H0.Xblue+ice+cod+liver+oil.TRS0&_nkw=blue+ice+cod+liver+oil&_sacat=0 [50]

VITAMIN D / SUNLIGHT

"vitamin D deficiency may actually be considered a risk factor for sepsis and inflammatory disorders" [7.1]

"The next one would be vitamin D. They've called it the pro-survival molecule and it's felt to be helpful to the immune system in states of excessive or chronic stress" [7.1]

vitamin d3 every day: between 5000 and 50000 international units [11]

vitamin D/K blend (5000mg daily) [7.2]

UV helps fight virus's

recommends sunlight [15]

"sunscreen blocks vitamin D from getting into our skin" [17.1]

"Foods high in vitamin D include pastured yellow butter, seafood, fish eggs, organ meats" [17.1]

vitamin D (sunlight, meat, egg) [19]

Analysis of 25 randomised controlled trials from around the world found that vitamin D supplementation cut the risk of respiratory tract infections by 50% in people that were deficient and by 10% in people with normal vitamin D levels. [20]

"Vitamin D supplementation was safe and it protected against acute respiratory tract infection overall. Patients who were very vitamin D deficient and those not receiving bolus doses experienced the most benefit." [24]

vitamin D intake may be harmful if not paired with vitamin k [51]

FERMENTED FOODS

recommends [7.3]

This podcast (40mins) explains fermented foods and nutrition in general. [14.1]

"Drinking home fermented kraut juice or fermented garlic brine are both great options" [17.1]

"People are finding that when they take the maximum tolerated levels of kraut juice daily, they don’t get sick. Each person’s maximum tolerated level is specific to them, the amount just before they see die off" (recipe: https://www.nourishingplot.com/2014/06/02/kraut-juice/) [17.2]

"Fermented foods and beverages, such as yogurt and kefir, are also beneficial. Consuming a probiotic drink has been found to reduce the incidence of influenza in children[vi] while eating yogurt fermented with Lactobacillus delbrueckii ssp. bulgaricus augmented natural killer cell activity and reduced the risk of catching the common cold among the elderly" [33.4]

fermented vegetable recipe:

increasing your nutrition too drastically can cause 'die-off' [17.5]

"die-off ... when these gut pathogens are killed, causing their cell wall to burst open and dump toxins previously contained inside the bacteria into the intestines ... can cause uncomfortable symptoms" [52]

fermented vegetable recipe: 2g salt / 100g water (or 2.5g for warmer climate); fill jar with vegetables up to 2.5cm from the top, add salt-water up to 1.25cm from the top; taste every three days (or every day in warmer climates) until the taste is right, then refrigerate; they keep for months in the fridge; it should never smell/taste 'off' or be slimy; to prevent build-up of CO2, loosen/release the jar-lid every few days. (fermentation-kit: https://www.nourishmeorganics.com.au/collections/cultured-vegetable-starter-cultures)

BONE BROTH

recommends [7.3]

"bone broth is an excellent immunity booster and detoxing protocol" [14.2]

recommends [17.3]

boil bones for 3hours

SATURATED FATS

"we need saturated fats to keep the lungs working well ... found in butter, coconut oil, meat fats, cream, & cheese" [14.2]

"Coronavirus has an affinity for the lungs, and the lungs can’t work without saturated fats, so eat plenty of butter and avoid all industrial fats and oils" [17.3]

MUSHROOMS

mushrooms (chaga, Shiitake, Maitake, turkey tail). "My favorite way to get a daily dose of immune-boosting mushrooms is through Four Sigmatic’s 10 Mushroom Blend" [7.3]

recommends [33.4]

BERRIES/FLAVONOIDS

recommends (herbacetin, isobavachalcone, quercetin 3‐β‐d‐glucoside, and helichrysetin) [33.1]

"Flavonoids, for instance, found in berries and onions, among other produce, reduce the incidence of upper respiratory tract infections" [33.4]

MAGNESIUM recommends [11] recommends [7.2]

ESSENTIAL OILS recommends [11] recommends [7.2]

COCONUT OIL "1 Tablespoon of coconut oil per day" [14.2] recommends [17.3]

ZINC

"Zinc deficiency we know is associated with immune dysfunction, including some pro-inflammatory cytokines, atrophy to thymus, reduction in T regulatory cells. So, personally, I started taking a zinc supplement, which I wasn't in the past. So, about 15 to 30 milligrams per day" [7.1]

if exposed to sickness, dissolve 4 zinc lozenges in mouth per day [7.3]

recommends [29]

GROUND FLADXSEED flaxseed ground (if not ground it can't be digested, 2Tbsp twice/day) [7.2]

ELDERBERRY

elderberry in the form of juice, tea, tinctures, and supplements [7.3]

"Elderberries are commonly used with the onset of of a virus as it stops a virus from mutating inside the body. It is not recommended for the coronavirus due to an increase in cytokines." [17.1]

"Elderberries, small, dark purple berries grown on the Sambucus tree, are well known for their cold and flu-fighting properties" [33.4]

LICORICE ROOT licorice (1500mg / day) [7.2] recommends [7.3] recommends [33.1]

ACTIVATED CHARCOAL recommends [11] recommends [7.2]

CHLOROQUINE/HYDROXYCHLOROQUINE

"chloroquine works against sars-cov-2 in human cells" [8, slide 18]

"hydroxychloroquine was found to be more potent than cloroquine ... a loading dose of 400mg twice daily of hydroxychloroquine sulfate given orally, followed by a maintenance dose of 200 mg given twice daily for 4 days is recommended for sars-cov-2 infection" [8, slide 20]

"common side effects [of hydroxychloroquine] include vomiting, headache, changes in vision and muscle weakness" [8]

overdoses of hydroxychloroquine are rare but possible [8]

"despite its small sample size our survey shows that hydroxychloroquine treatment is significantly associated with viral load reduction/disappearance in COVID-19 patients and its effect is reinforced by azithromycin" [28]

PEPTIDES

recommends [7.1]

"The most effective immune enhancement substance I am aware of is the Russian developed Peptide Bioregulator Vladonix (for thymus/immune system)" [7.2]

OXIDE THERAPY

recommends [7.1]

Dr John Bergman recommends ozone therapy (blood is extracted, oxygenated then injected back in. Vitamin C must be consumed 1.5hours later [29]

OTHER

Arsenicum album 30C and Camphor 1M as homeopathic defense: First take one dose (about 2 to 3 pellets) of Arsenicum album 30C. If your flu-like symptoms are significant contact your local MD, describe your symptoms, and see about getting tested for coronavirus. If the Arsenicum album 30C helps alleviate your symptoms, continue dosing this remedy two to three times a day, for three days or more. If your flu-like symptoms are not being alleviated by this remedy however… Then take one dose (about 2 to 3 pellets) of Camphor 1M, from two times a day to every four hours (depending on the intensity of your symptoms), for three days or more. If neither the Arsenicum album or Camphor help reduce your symptoms within a few hours, contact me or your local homeopath as soon as possible. Early intervention is crucial. [2]

"Emu oil – 1 teaspoon two times a day" [2]

"CHAMP Pro Plus – From ½ to 1 scoop daily in water (GALT, Gut Associated Lymphoid Tissue, regulates almost 70% of the immune system.)" [2]

"NotaSan 4X – 2 drops rubbed over the tonsil areas of the upper neck or snorted up the nose, three to six times a day, to help reduce cold, flu, sinus, or allergy symptoms when they arise." [2]

"Unfortunately, we do not know how long this immunity lasts. We already observe multiple strains of COVID-19, and will see many more, due to the large number of carriers." [3]

'Flattening the curve' is not a viable option. The virus is predicted to infect >40% of people it comes in contact with. In order for the 'curve' to be flattened to a point where our care/treatment facilities are not exhausted, it would have to stretch over an unrealistically long period (the article estimates 10 years). The article considers containment (eradication via preventing the spread until those infected are identified and cured) as the only option [3]

"Why doesn't the government, the CDC, offer any nutritional or dietary advice? Think about it." [4]

olive leaf extract [7.1]

hot soups, ginger, root vegetables, hot liquids, conscious breathing (breath out twice as long as you breathe in) [11]

"All of the nutraceuticals, other than the peptides, can be purchased at the Swanson Vitamins website. It is essential you use the specific products listed (referencing a list displayed below the quote, on the website I've taken it from) as each has the required potency and high-quality ingredients necessary to be effective. This is especially true of the liposomal Vitamin C. Regular Vitamin C will not be effective, even in high doses." [7.2]

beta glucan / beta right (500mg) [7.2]

"His research has shown that a specific combination of micronutrients can support and enhance the immune system. In addition to vitamin C, they include vitamin A, vitamin E, vitamin B6, vitamin B12, folic acid, magnesium, calcium, and iron" [7.2]

"What my Chinese herbologist friend specifically recommended was: Liposomal Vitamin C packets – 3x a day, L-Lysine 1000 mg – 3x a day, NAC 1500~1800mg – 3x a day. Be sure all of the above are taken together" [7.2]

"For adults, drink 10 mls Silversol 4-6 times daily; 1-2 teaspoons of Umcka four times daily; 6 squirts of BioCidin LS 4-6 times daily; 1 cap 50,000 units Vitamin D x 4 days; 2 tablets of Iodine 25mg daily for 4 days; 5 ml Silversol 2 times daily if there is possible contact with a virus; 1000mg of Vitamin C daily; Briotech HOCL – use as a spray and you can ingest orally" [7.2]

"Vitamin D/K, Ancestral Supplements Thymus blend, liposomal glutathione, colloidal silver, oil of oregano" [7.2]

Echinacea [7.3]

"John Douillard’s Decoction Tea Instructions: Soak 1 tablespoon of [slippery elm bark, marshmallow root, and licorice root] (you must source these herbs in a chopped, not ground, form) in 2 quarts of water overnight. Boil the mixture down to 1/2 quart in the morning. Strain the mixture through a metal strainer (use a large spoon to push it through. Save the liquid and discard the herbs. Take 1 tablespoon of the liquid every two hours on an empty stomach for one month, sometimes two months if needed." [7.3]

"look for oregano oil that contains a natural carvacrol level of over 80%. The “fake” stuff at the grocery store or bulk supplement website is typically comprised of thymol or is simply an oil harvested from thyme, which doesn’t give you the same potent effect as an oil high in carvacrol. Finally, should you purchase the 100% pure version of oregano, be very careful: it is extremely caustic and can burn the skin or the mouth, so you must mix it into a carrier oil" [7.3]

antiviral: sulfate (cauliflower, broccoli, cabbage); terpenoids (cannabis & other herbs, block uptake of virus into cell); glutathione, glycine, selenium; herbs/spices; avoid glyphosate [19]

"selenium, either oral or Iv's" [29]

hot liquids kill it [30]

ensure mouth/throat is always wet (drink something every 15 mins) [30]

"Cistus tea has been found to thwart off viruses" [17.4]

"food-derived substance with proven coronavirus-inhibiting properties: Chameleon plant " [33.1]

"Natural substances which have been studied for Coronavirus infections include: Black Tea, Cinnamon, Resveratrol" [33.2]

"turmeric and its active ingredient curcumin" [33.4]

SARS-COV-2 is the virus that caused COVID-19 (stands for "coronavirus-2019")

"I’m not planning on forgetting that earlier this week Joe Biden told the American public that anyone “not at risk of being exposed to COVID-19” (not a real category of person) should go congregate in public, including in dozens of low-income senior centers, to vote for him"

gargling salt water could clear the throat of bacteria and prevent infections getting worse

========================== [1] https://www.statnews.com/2020/03/03/who-is-getting-sick-and-how-sick-a-breakdown-of-coronavirus-risk-by-demographic-factors/ [2] https://www.louisawilliamsnd.com/post/coronavirus-recommendations-update?utm_campaign=3a59df04-d55c-4561-8259-a2d7ec266e69&utm_source=so&utm_medium=mail&cid=7cd28690-a598-42af-abc5-feafcdce315b [3] https://medium.com/@joschabach/flattening-the-curve-is-a-deadly-delusion-eea324fe9727 [4] https://twitter.com/tao_lin [5] https://youtu.be/fwyAM7fCG44 [6] https://twitter.com/foundmyfitness [7.1] https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/transcripts/transcript-how-to-improve-immune-system/ [7.2] https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/article/lifestyle-articles/how-to-boost-immune-system/?preview=true [7.3] https://bengreenfieldfitness.com/article/nutrition-articles/shorten-cold-flu-duration/ [8] https://docsend.com/view/stajszk [9] https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2020/03/biography-new-coronavirus/608338/ [11] https://www.blogtalkradio.com/askdrjohnbergman/2020/02/25/im-not-afraid-of-the-corona-virus [14.1] https://www.westonaprice.org/podcast/202-what-you-dont-know-about-ferments/ [14.2] https://www.westonaprice.org/podcast/232-protect-yourself-from-the-coronavirus-or-any-virus/ [15] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym-WGOq96G0 [17.1] https://www.nourishingplot.com/2020/03/04/natural-treatment-against-the-coronavirus-what-you-need-on-hand-to-be-prepared/ [17.2] https://www.nourishingplot.com/2017/02/07/natural-flu-shot-prevention-support/ [17.3] https://nourishingtraditions.com/how-to-protect-yourself-from-coronavirus-or-any-virus/ [17.4] https://www.nourishingplot.com/2020/03/17/cistus-tea-for-virus-and-bacteria-support-shows-to-reduce-tick-and-mosquito-bites/ [17.5] https://www.nourishingplot.com/2019/06/04/die-off-and-vitamin-c-sources-for-chronic-illness-gaps-approved/ [19] https://t.co/jtN1BOeJcN?amp=1 [20] https://t.co/rpD72lacR7?amp=1 [21] https://nypost.com/2020/03/24/new-york-hospitals-treating-coronavirus-patients-with-vitamin-c/ [22] https://e360.yale.edu/features/ecopsychology-how-immersion-in-nature-benefits-your-health [23] https://pharmascope.org/index.php/ijrps/article/view/1738/2428 [24] https://www.bmj.com/content/356/bmj.i6583 [25] https://t.co/htUYo4bFZL?amp=1 [26] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/32139348 [27] https://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/10/09/saunas-cut-pneumonia-risk/ [28] https://mediterranee-infection.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Hydroxychloroquine_final_DOI_IJAA.pdf [29] https://www.instagram.com/drjohnbergman/ [30] msg mum sent (apparently info given to hospital staff) [33.1] https://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/studies-find-natural-treatments-coronavirus [33.2] https://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/medicinal-foods-and-beverages-protect-against-coronavirus-research-suggests [33.3] https://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/fiasco-making-coronavirus-pandemic-takes-hold-we-are-making-decisions-without-rel [33.4] https://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/who-five-ways-boost-immunity-fight-covid-19 [33.5] https://www.greenmedinfo.com/blog/top-four-antiviral-benefits-elderberry [38] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4531403/ [39] https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses#:~:text=symptoms [40] https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/about/symptoms.html [41] https://www.statnews.com/2020/03/26/what-weve-learned-about-the-coronavirus-and-what-we-still-need-to-know/ [42] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzJgPvukzTE [43] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCG3xqtcL3c [44] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4eu-h_owaI&t=4s [45] https://edition.cnn.com/2020/03/25/health/coronavirus-symptoms-list-what-to-do-wellness/index.html?utm_content=2020-03-28T07%3A58%3A01&utm_source=twCNN&utm_medium=social&utm_term=link [46] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9oqvJ3iXGI [47] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxQPCfeywXQ [48] https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/ibuprofen-and-covid-19-what-gps-need-to-know [49] https://coremedscience.com/blogs/wellness/how-to-pick-the-best-liposomal-vitamin-c [50] https://www.westonaprice.org/health-topics/cod-liver-oil/cod-liver-oil-basics-and-recommendations/ [51] https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/vitamin-d-and-vitamin-k#section3 [52] https://justthrivehealth.com/blogs/blog/what-is-die-off

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rootcure · 3 years ago

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How Homeopathy Medicine is Best to Cure Tonsillitis?

Definition: It refers to inflammation of tonsils- two oval-shaped pads of tissue at the back of the throat- one tonsillitis on each side.

Tonsils form a part of the lymphatic system.

Tonsils work by trapping the germs coming in through the mouth and nose.

Common Age Group

In children (5 to 15 years of age).

Causes of Tonsillitis

Bacterial and viral infections. Mostly caused by Streptococcus Pyogenes.

Abuse of antibiotics.

Coughing or sneezing. (From one person to another).

Adults who have Immune deficiency conditions like HIV.

Hyperglycemic or Diabetic patients.

By consuming excessive cold drinks, cold food like ice-creams etc.

In some patients due to deficiency of Vitamin-D leading to recurrent tonsillitis.

Tonsil Conditions

ACUTE TONSILLITIS:

Tonsils become swollen, inflamed with pain during deglutition and develop a gray or white coating of exudates.

CHRONIC TONSILLITIS OR QUINSY:

Persistent infection of tonsils at the slightest exposure develops the condition of chronic tonsillitis.

PERITONSILLAR ABSCESS:

An infection creates a pocket of pus next to tonsil, pushing it towards the opposite side.

ACUTE MONO-NUCLEOSIS:

Usually caused by Epstein Barr Virus.

Causes: Severe swelling in the tonsils, fever, sore- throat , rash and fatigue.

STREP-THROAT:

Streptococcus, a bacteria that infects the tonsils and throat, is called Strep Throat.

TONSILLOLITHS:

Tonsil stones.

SYMPTOMS

1. Throat pain: Most common symptom. Pain may last more than 48 hours. Even empty swallowing may cause pain.

2. The pain may be referred to the ears.

3. High to moderate fever.

4. Hoarseness of voice.

5. Severe lethargy, feverishness or low- grade of fever may accompany acute tonsillitis.

6. Headache or heaviness of head.

7. Sometimes, foul odor from the mouth is affected with Strep Throat.

8. Children may also complain of abdominal pain.

9. There may be dry cough associated with tonsillitis.

10. Difficulty in swallowing any type of food.

11. Children may also have a decreased appetite with irritability.

HOMEOPATHY AND ITS SCOPE IN TONSILLITIS:

Homeopathy is highly effective in cases of Tonsillitis by removing the root cause of the disease. As tonsillitis is common among the children, Homeopathy is safe and natural in treating most of the cases.

Homeopathic medicines help in treating tonsillitis by avoiding unnecessary surgical removal of tonsils.

Homeopathic treatment also boosts up the immunity in such patients.

Here are top 5 Homeopathic medicines for Tonsillitis:

1. BELLADONNA:

Useful in red, congested and inflamed tonsils.

Key indications: Pain in throat at the time of swallowing.

The tonsils are often affected by taking any cold things : cold drinks, ice- creams or by exposure to cold air.

The throat pain is relieved by warm drinks.

The main symptom guiding towards Belladonna: First stage of inflammation with extreme redness.

2. PHYTOLACCA DECANDRA:

Tonsils are dark red or bluish red in color.

There is much pain at the root of the tongue and soft palate.

Swelling especially at the right side.

Sharp shooting pain into ears on swallowing.

Aggravation: Hot drinks or hot food.

3. MERCURIUS SOLUBILIS:

The key symptoms to prescribe are :Pain in throat, congestion of tonsils and unable to drink or eat anything.

There is more salivation from the mouth.

Pain is worse at night.

The patient feels thirsty though, there is more salivation.

4. HEPAR SULPH:

Marked tendency to suppuration. When swallowing, there is a sensation of a splinter or plug -like in the throat.

There is quinsy with tonsil suppuration of tonsils.

The patient is very chilly and cannot tolerate any cold air or cold water.

Tonsils are aggravated by eating or drinking anything cold.

5. BARYTA CARBONICA:

First grade medicine for chronic tonsillitis.

After the acute attack passes, tonsils look larger than with the last cold.

Physically and mentally, the child is very weak.

Most common symptom is whenever he catches a cold first, it attacks the tonsils or throat.

Children sweat more from their feet.

On every cold or change of weather, the patient gets a rattling respiration.

#tonsillitis homeopathic medicine #dry cough #rootcurehomeopathy rootcure DrAnamikaJalandra chronicdiseases homeopathy homeopathyworks homeopathyheals homeopathicmedicine homeopathic hom

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blogkelleyb · 4 years ago

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Cancer treatment in the time of Covid

So I have finished my second Chemo treatment 3 days ago? Why not blog after the first? Well cause I was a potato thats why. That is my new term for the overwhelming exhaustion that comes with my friend Chemotherapy. It is interesting but nothing I have experienced before. I lie, 10 years ago I was super ill and left Kingston Hospital 88 lbs. I know weak and it is a scary feeling and yeah I called them. I found out it is completely normal, give in to it. Ok will do don't have a choice because I don’t have the energy to do more than make myself a cup of tea. My daughter is doing the rest and doing it well. I can relax and just be a potato if I feel like one. So I was for about 3 days.

Around the same time my mouth started to get sore. First kind of coated then raw feeling and really chapped lips. My daughter went to pharmacy and got some special spray that is all natural and helped with the dry sore mouth quite well. She also got special mouthwash made for the same issue. It helped and it passed in about 4 days.

But that wasn’t the first side-effect. I had very mild “hand-foot syndrome” Google it because it is fascinating, and can at its worst be horrendous. It is extreme skin sensitivity to cold. First discovered when I got home from first Chemo and reached into the fridge for a pepsi. Zap, every finger touching the can starts to tingle intensely. You know that feeling when a limb or hand goes to sleep and I mean dead asleep no feeling and then it starts to wake and you hit a max on the tingly feeling? Yeah it feels like that. Not painful, disturbing definitely uncomfortable. Then I took a drink of the pepsi...OMFG my mouth and throat are tingling like crazy. The answer? Warmth. A tea, no cold drinks and don’t touch anything with your hands that is colder than body temp. Warm that water up before you wash your hands. Etc. It lasted a day and gradually improved.

The third and least noticeable side-effect is actually not due to the Chemotherapy but the high dose steroids that they give you before and during to help combat them. Steroids give you a false sense of wellness and I get very chatty to say the least. So yes I noticed this and the fact I felt pretty damn good the first 3 days after. But I know having been on steroids many times for my Colitis the fall going off them is kind of harsh so this probably adds to the chemo exhaustion that hits on day 4 and your done your 3 day steroid regime.

So lets look at the positives of this treatment shall we? I didn’t barf, not even once. Nor did I even get nauseated. I was terrified of this side-effect. I mean worse than hair loss by far. Like I said I know what it feels like to be 88 lbs when my good weight is 135. I weighed 137 when diagnosed, my weight at my first chemo was 112. I have lost 25 lbs already and the treatment hadn’t even started yet. What was I going to look like going into surgery, will it affect the outcome, will I be healthy enough to get it at all or will it have to be delayed risking my life? Yeah it was a great big fat hairy deal. And I didn’t get sick. Can I have a “Hell yeah”

The second side effect is just as exciting folks, I found my lost appetite and oh boy is it back with a vengeance. I fell like I did 10 years ago like I have an insatiable tape worm. It started to come back around day 5 post 1st chemo. And each day became stronger and stronger. I was eating bowls of ice cream at midnight and making bacon and eggs at 5AM. I even appealed to my friends who brought “Mac and Cheese” and “Oven pot pies” And I ate them all and at my weigh in before starting chemo I saw the beautful number 118.6 lbs. Omg the joy I felt I can’t tell you. The relief....1000 lbs literally off my shoulder. I am so holding on to the hope that it stays around. I expect during my potato days, it won’t be as good. But I will remain hopeful that the tapeworm stays awake and keeps eating.

But then I got my second treatment 3 days ago. It was different. The nausea? Nope its fine none of that at all. Appetite seems normal not bad but not ravenous. The hand/mouth, wow. It began as I arrived home from my treatment. My hands and feet and lower legs were tingling like crazy and I was touching nothing and fully dressed and had a coat on. The cold air, It was like minus 2 or something out. Wow what if it was in the middle of winter how would this feel? I come inside and its pretty intense. My daughter gets me a cup of hot tea and heats up my hot pack to put my hands in like I did first round. It helps. I put on my legs it helps them too.

I have a chemo bottle attached to my PICC line that goes into the large vein in my upper body into the upper vessel of the heart. Regular arm veins used for IV’s can't take chemo drugs, That chemo bottle is to drain over a period of 24 hours. I carry it around for those 24 hrs in a little bottle bag around my neck and navigate the tubing. Then the next day I get into the car and drive to Para-Med and they remove the chemo bottle, dispose into the toxic waste container and redo my dressing on my PICC line. I go home. Except two hours later I note the bottle of Chemo is not draining. I call, and they tell me I have to go back to hospital so they can fix. I did, it sucked, I tingled the whole way but did get to ask that nurse about it too. Yes it’s normal but yes we watch it some have a problem. Am I going to have a problem? I hope not she says. Yeah me too.

We drive home. I decide in case this gets worse I should take my shower while I am stable on my feet. I do so and it was glorious hot water. No tingling, until I stepped out. OMFG again. Bare feet on the floor, naked and shivering. Ok now its painful. This bloody sucks. Get dressed in flannel onesie right away. Get big winter socks on and get that hot pack. Ok I am good. How bad will this get? Is this something that could interfere with my ability to get regular prompt continued treatment so I can have surgery and be cancer free. Is this threatened? I have two more treatments and will have a long break in-between these treatments my surgery and my recovery and restarting again. It should get out of my system. But the effects are cumulative, how bad will it get? Can they give more steroids to counter act this effect and keep it controllable. You can bet I will be asking all those questions to my Oncologist when I see him before my next treatment. My daughter is going with me and will make sure I miss nothing with my hearing and that I get all my questions answered. Thats a very good thing to do together. And good news, the tingling is improving this morning. Whew!

I don’t know what the exhaustion will be like this time. I was what I called “baked” yesterday. Like you took that extra THC gummy at bedtime (oh chill its legal and I only take them for sleep) except they are always worn off by morning with zero hangover effect. Baked with a really clear logical mind and a mouth that just will not stop talking. Like there was no filter, if something ran though my head it came out my mouth. My daughter from previous experience with me realized it was the steroids! And then we laughed and laughed and laughed until our bellies hurt. The poor girl finally was able to retreat to the privacy of her room and I would still come down the hall to tell her more pearls of wisdom from my mind. I carried on a running commentary with my best friend over messenger from the early morning hours before the sun came up all the way to bedtime and yes she too finally just stopped answering me. I think its hysterical. But I get that it may be a tad annoying to others. So I went into my favourite facebook group for women over 40 that play the video game “Animal Crossing” Oh don’t judge that either, hottest selling game of the year last year, absolute record sales and got many of us through this damned pandemic. Just minding our islands and building homes and fishing etc. So peaceful, so non political and so damn cute. So yeah headed to that group and made two new online friends and yep they probably won't message again but they were kind to me. This side effect will pass today as the steroids wear off and the exhaustion kicks in. I suspect it may be little worse and last a little longer than last time. If you don’t see a new blog post till next treatment, thats why. See ya when I am no longer a potato.

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pantomatique · 4 years ago

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His Return

The small cottage came into view. Azriel slowed down, his feet touching the cobblestone path without a sound. The balmy summer air was a welcome compared to the near-constant freeze of the Winter Court, even if it made him soak his leathers through with sweat. He had built the cottage for Elain as a gift when they got married; built it in a field of wildflowers outside of Velaris. He remembered her smile as he flew her there and surprised her with it.

It has been three weeks since he stepped into his own house, the smell of peonies and sunshine wafted around him- his wife’s scent. Three weeks without his wife. He was sorely tempted to wake her up and makeup for all of that lost time. He let her sleep, she needed it and he needed to hone the whirl-wind of thoughts flying through him.

The last three weeks were spent interrogating spies caught trying to cross the border between the Night and Winter Courts. Spies from the Continent. They were apprehended in Winter, but Kallias allowed Rhys the courtesy of his own interrogation… as long as it was in Winter. Rhys stayed a week, using his daemati gifts to quicken the process. After the week, Rhys left him with Lucien to try to open up the last two spies who had been shields. Fae gifted with protection against daemati.

Walking to the dining room, he noticed a light yellow rug with a floral print. Bright and cheery against the dark wood floors. How very Elain, he thought. In fact, he started noticing all of the details added since he left. The wedding portrait that Feyre had painted of them, rested on the mantle. Vases of flowers and other feminime touches graced the house. It was perfect. It reminded him of Elain, who made anywhere she was- home to him.

They've only been in the cottage for six weeks- married that long too. He hated himself for being gone for half of their marriage, but it was a sacrifice he was willing to make to keep her safe.

Azriel poured himself a drink at the small copper bar cart near the kitchen, using a glass - not bothering with a shot glass. Ugly. That’s what those last weeks were. As a favor to his Highlord, Azriel begrudgingly worked with Lucien. When Elain had chosen the shadowsinger over her mate, the townhouse nearly collapsed due to the fight that took place. Lucien was still silently seething over the matter while they worked. Azriel’s shadows picking up the wrath thumping underneath the fox’s golden skin.

As much as Azriel hated to admit it, he was angry too. Angry at Vanserra. Angry at whatever force decided to tie Elain and Lucien’s souls together for eternity.

Pulling out a chair to face the three paned window, he took a seat at the end of the mahogany dining table. A gift from Cas, his reasoning being that the happy couple needed a big enough for both their families. Family. That’s what he and Elain wove themselves together to become.

Staring at the starry night sky, whiskey burned down his throat as he his mind circled back to that comment Lucien made to him when he found out Elain wouldn’t be accompanying them to Winter. Accused him of cloistering Elain, saying that the cottage Azriel had built her was nothing more than a gilded cage meant to keep her bound to him.

He wanted to bring Elain with him. Wanted to take her gliding over the iced over ponds hidden in the Winter Court’s forests, to show her the snow-blooming flowers that flourished in the cold… He would take her one day. Where he could give her all of his attention, she deserved it.

In truth, Azriel didn’t want Elain to see this part of him. He couldn't fathom sharing a bed with her mere hours after he tortured fae barely out of boyhood. Resting his elbows on his knees, he cradled his face in his hands, the scars and calluses scraping against the light stubble that began to form on his jaw. He thought about gentle Elain watching her husband break trained warriors apart, watching someone usually so caring and loving to her- turn to violence and bloodshed. She knew what he did, what was required of him to keep the Night Court safe. He would not allow her to see that part of him. Not anytime soon.

“Az, is that you?” a gentle voice behind him flowed like water. He turned around to see Elain standing at the stop of the staircase. A cream shaw was wrapped around her shoulders, over the pale pink nightgown edged with cream lace - another wedding present from Feyre. He had blushed when Elain opened up the trunk full of scraps of lace and satin and then rolled his eyes at the note that Feyre had left him:

“A gift for the groom. - your sister in-law”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Didn’t mean to, but he was elated to see her. Graceful as a doe, she glided down the stairs- towards him.

“It’s okay. I have trouble sleeping without you anyways.” A smile touched her lips as she talked. His heart ached at the thought that she had problems sleeping. The first night they shared a bed, she had told him that it was the first time she slept without nightmares. Did she not feel safe without him here? He had placed wards around the house before he left and even told her to sleepover at Rhy and Feyre’s if she was scared. Azriel would ask her about it tomorrow.

Placing his hands on her hips. He pulled her towards him, so that she was standing in between his legs. Resting his head between her breasts and wrapping his arms around her slim waist, he breathed her in.

“I missed you.” He whispered to her. So very, very much, he thought. Elain threaded her fingers in his midnight hair and began playing with it. Twirling his locks around her thin, small fingers.

“I’m so glad you're safe.” she said. “That is quite a nightcap you’ve made yourself.” She let out a chuckle at the large glass of whiskey sitting on the table. “I’ll make you some tea to wash it down.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to.” he responded, but she already untangled herself from him and was walking towards the kitchen. Azriel was content to just watch her. Placing the copper kettle on the stove, she turned and gave him the sweetest smile as she pulled out two mint mugs from the cabinet. She stirred extra honey into his tea, making a remark about how she heard it helps prevent hangovers.

She placed both mugs on the table and was about to sit down, until he pulled her onto his lap- so that she was straddling him. Elain let out a giggle as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I like what you’ve done with the place.” he whispered into ear, pressing a kiss right below it, as he eyed the velvet blue curtains enclosing the window.

“Cassian helped me hang them up. He said the blue would go with your siphons.” She ran her fingers over the one in the center of his chest, before picking up his mug of tea and bringing it to his lips. “Drink.” He did what she said.

“Delicious, from your garden?” he inquired as he took the mug from her small hands and held it to her lips. He tilted it up as she took a sip.

“Yes, I starting growing herbs that help with sore muscles and fatigue… for you.” she said shyly, looking down. Azriel put the mug back on the table and then tilted Elain’s chin up with his hand.

“Thank you.” he said as he stared into her chocolate eyes. Thank you for everything, for taking care of me, for loving me, he thought, hoping that his eyes conveyed what he felt.

‘She is thinking you’re welcome.’ a wisp of a shadow whispered in his ear. One of the reasons he loved Elain was that she didn’t push him to talk. The two of them seemed to exude their thoughts and feelings to each other without words.

Azriel released her chin, running his hands over the silky material of the nightgown, he pulled her flush to his chest- into a passionate kiss. The shaw around her shoulders, fell to the floor forgotten. Her soft, doll lips parted allowing their tongues to intertwine along with their souls. Her hands stroking his chest, his shoulders, his wings. Desire flooded his loins.

He moved his hands over the curve of her hips, down to her knees. Then he moved them back up over her creamy thighs, up to the hem of her nightgown which was pushed up from straddling his lap. Lips parting, she began to pepper kisses along his jaw and neck.

“Arms up.”

Elain obeyed. Lifting her arms up, as he pulled the nightgown over her head and let it drop to the floor. Unconcerned of where it landed. She wouldn't be needing it for the rest of the night.

The primal, fae part of him hummed with pleasure at the bare skin before him. The moon beams streaking through the glass windows behind her, making her pale skin glow like back-lit alabaster. Clad only in a pair of pink lace panties, she whispered his name. Beautiful, Beautiful, Beautiful, the word echoed in his head as his eyes roamed over his wife’s body- exposed only for him.

Lips meeting once again, Azriel cupped her breasts, his thumbs moving in circles over her nipples- peaking them. She moaned into his mouth as her hips began to move in a soft rhythm against his own. Reminding his body that they spent three weeks without touching each other. Those days apart had left him ravenous.

He trailed one finger down the valley of her breasts, the center of her naval- until he got to the waistband of that scrap of lace she wore. Perhaps she expected his return tonight with those seer powers of hers, he thought, that would explain the… ensemble.

A purely male smirk appeared on his face, as he realized that she was soaked through. Before he could insert a finger into that wet heat of hers, she crawled off his lap to pull off her underwear. The shadowsinger sat back and enjoyed the sight. Stepping out of them, she kneeled before him. Kneeled before death incarnate.

Her nimble fingers began pulling at the laces of his leather pants. A groan escaped his lips, as his aching length sprang into her awaiting hand. He nearly lost his mind when she kissed the tip. Unable to wait any longer, Azriel hauled her up onto his lap and buried himself deep inside her in one smooth stroke.

All five hundred of those years he had spent in heartbreak and trapped in lust, had been worth it. He would have waited an eternity to wait for her. His one true love.

Azriel thrust up into her, still clad in his fighting leathers, while she writhed atop him naked. Her head dropped to the nook of his shoulder, her sweet little moans and gasps echoing in his ear.

Inside her, he forgot his sins. Forget the dark shadows of his past that leeched on his very existence- she burned them away. Outshining every star in the sky.

Azriel would give her everything.

Bringing his hand to that bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs, she fell off that shimmering edge into a pool of starlight. And as she gasped his name as she found her release, he stood up- wrapping her thin legs around his waist.

When the tremor in her stilled, he pulled himself out of her and sat her at the edge of that giant table. Pushing her shoulders so that she laid flat on her back, knees bent, legs spread and feet perched at the end of the table. Exactly where he wanted her.

“Az?”

“Soon, love.” pressing a chaste kiss to her mouth to quiet her.

Before he could take what he needed, he began unstrapping the armor from his shoulders and forearms and unbuckled the leather tunic. And as he threw the tunic to the ground, he leaned over her, guiding himself into her. His pants slung low over his chiseled hips.

Enjoying the feeling of her small bare breasts crushed against his chest, he set a punishing pace that would take them both over the edge. Elain’s small hands traced over his back, feeling the muscles flex and tighten as he thrust into her. Azriel grabbed her wrists, twinning their fingers together as he pinned her hands by her head.

No language could describe how good it felt to share this intimacy with her. But gods, he tried. Whispering in her ear about how much she pleased him, how amazing she felt wrapped around him. A blush spread from her dimpled cheeks to those perfect tits of hers.

And as her fingers tightened around his own, release found her again that night. At the sight of his wife moaning his name below him, he found his. His siphons flaring as he spilled himself into her.

Elain wrapped her legs around him, holding him close as pleasure shot up his spine. Foreheads pressed together, noses touching, he pressed an open mouth kiss to her swollen lips.

“I love you.” she said. “So very much.”

Azriel hoped that he was enough to keep her safe, strong enough to make sure they had nights like this again and again.

#elriel #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #azriel #elain #sarahjmaas #fanfiction #smut

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doctorsanddoctors · 4 years ago

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Prevent Cough and Cold with Homeopathic Treatment

Due to the rigorous season change, the cold and cough that spread easily cannot be prevented. Infect one family member that carries the next, and before long, the whole family has had a seasonal flu attack. Children are the most vulnerable carrier of these viruses. The disorder of cough and cold usually persists indefinitely for five to seven days and is only somewhat less virulent except with drugs. Although the cold and toxic seasons are hardly dangerous in the long term, they can inflict substantial work and productivity loss. And even an apparently insignificant factor like a plugged nose really can be a huge irritation that mostly reduces the energy levels.

You can prevent these sufferings if you take help from the Homeopathic consultant in Newtown and abide by the instructions he or she gives.

How You Get Infected

These seasonal viruses easily influence people with poor immune systems. The most frequently met causative factor is the abrupt temperature rise. Turning on the fan right after the exposure to heat, or drinking cold water just after coming fro outdoor, or eating ice cream in scorching heat can attract these viruses and cause illness for you. When the immunity is poor, the body cannot respond and become vulnerable to pathogens to certain abrupt changes in temperature. We are mindful of the extremely infectious and quick dissemination of these pathogens. This triggers the symptoms like headache, runny nose, sore throat, nausea, fatigue, and even fever.

What Is the Prevention?

The building of our immunity is vital and it is vital to start with. The dietary factor is the main part of developing our immunity. What we consume and how we eat has an effect on our health. It is important to have a diet full of proteins, vitamins, and minerals. In order to develop good immunity, egg and milk must form a part of the everyday routine. Green fruit and vegetables are irreplaceable as well. All essential ingredients for nutrition are strawberries, broccoli, bananas, basil, spinach, ginger, and garlic, and even fruits like amla. Besides these, you must also intake an adequate amount of water every day as it is also a crucial factor to flush out toxins from your body.

Homeopathic Remedies

There are many levels of homeopathic treatments that you can find from the Homeopathic consultant in Newtown. They help to resolve the signs and symptoms that arise during seasonal cold and tough attacks at the most simple stage. They work successfully with the infection to alleviate pain and heal the disease's body easily. These cures tend to deepen and stimulate the immune response of the body to weaken subsequent infections and to resolve those infections gradually. Over time, the person can prevent illness, and wellbeing increase markedly.

#homeopathic #homeopathic treatment

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storytaeme · 7 years ago

Text

merry xmas, i love you – taegi

Yoongi had always known that Santa Claus wasn’t real, but the appearance of a figure in his window might just change his mind.

taegi week 2017 – taehyung x yoongi

❅ Prompt: Santa ft. Ugly Christmas Sweater

❅ Elements: Fluff | Neighbors AU

❅ Word Count: 3,127 words

❅ A/N: Much shorter than my other ones! I’m going to start decreasing length to keep up sobs. But here’s a cute lil fluffy confession!

Out of all the things Yoongi expected to greet him just days before Christmas, a very, very drunk neighbor was the last on his list.

All his life, Yoongi had grown up with the belief that Santa Claus most certainly was not real. It wasn’t easy listening to his classmates’ ridiculous rambling that Santa would squeeze into a chimney and leave presents underneath their obnoxiously decorated trees. Koreans barely had any chimneys, how did they expect Santa to drop off their gifts anyway?

From an early age, he had learned the easy way that Christmas was a commercialized holiday. His parents never beat around the bush, asked him what he wanted a month before the D-day so they could search for it in advance. Yoongi and his brother had no qualms about it—after all, why would they? They got everything they wanted without the shitty make-believe stuff.

However, this cynicism was the reason why all the hairs on his arms and legs rose when he heard the tapping against his window. He lived on the second floor. He had a balcony. There was knocking against his window. A chanced glance at his bedside clock showed that it was three in the morning. Fuck. If Santa didn’t exist (plus it wasn’t even Christmas Eve), then it must be a burglar.

Yoongi quickly reached for his baseball bat that he kept handy by his bed and tiptoed over to the window. The rattling was getting louder and he hoped that his parents would notice so he didn’t have to put up this fight alone. His heart was beating too loud in his chest, practically threatening to spill out of his body. Pressing his body up against the wall, he held his breath as he flicked the curtain open just enough to glimpse into the outside.

What he saw had a scream bubbling up his throat as he leapt back. “Holy fuckin’ shit,” he snapped, whipping the curtains back to glare at the intruder.

There he was—the man of the hour. Or what Yoongi expected to be at least. But it really was just his rambunctious next-door-neighbor dressed at St. Nick. He had his face pressed up against the window, cheek flattened against the frosty surface. Yoongi wasn’t sure if he was voluntarily doing it or whether he was stuck due to the cold.

“What the fuck, Taehyung?” Yoongi muttered, unlatching his window and pulling it up carefully as to not hurt the boy.

“Hyungie!” was the first word out of his mouth as he launched himself through the open window and into Yoongi’s arms. The elder fell back with an oof, ass landing on the carpeted floor. With his wearing nothing more than a thin set of pajamas, the cold from the outside had him shivering to his very bones.

After wrangling Taehyung off of him and leave him clinging around his legs, Yoongi moved back to the window to slam it shut. The room was only getting colder and colder with the breeze that diffused into the room. When he turned around, Taehyung was wrestling with his coat, too intoxicated to properly slip his arms out of the fabric. The sight would be hilarious if Yoongi wasn’t too tired at the ass crack of dawn. Taehyung ended up flopping forward, face diving into the carpet as he let out an exhausted, pained moan.

“What are you even doing here?” Yoongi grumbled, finally making the move to lend a hand. He could barely managed to hold the boy up before Taehyung was taking him down to the ground with him. It ended up being Yoongi smothered by the younger’s arms as he pinned him down on the floor and against the side of his bed. “Christ, Tae,” Yoongi grunted, “it’s three fucking am. What the fuck are you doing?”

“N-needed—” hiccup “—to—fuck, shit—tell you something.”

Yoongi sighed, rolling his eyes and taking a breath. Taehyung had always been a peculiar child and an even more peculiar neighbor slash friend. Ever since they were kids, ever since Taehyung was born, he had always stuck by Yoongi’s side. They went to the same school, grew up with similar friends, and were generally attached at the hip. For a little while, in the beginning, Yoongi had thought that the guy was strange, too curious, too wide-eyed. But over the years, Yoongi became the one that protected him from such comments, mindless ridicule that he didn’t deserve.

If he were to compare Taehyung to something, it might be a puppy. He wasn’t innocent—no, not judging from a handful of questions he had raised before. But he was cute, yeah, cute. Cute in a way that had all the girls cooing and feeding him spoonfuls it ice cream, cute in a way that had guys defending him against foul misbehaving from jealous others. Cute in a way that made Yoongi oddly attached to him.

It wasn’t as if Taehyung was particularly difficult to handle. In fact, he was so laid-back and easygoing, so carefree that Yoongi worried for him plenty. Thus, when Taehyung was upset, he wasn’t quite sure how to even begin to tackle the issue.

Yoongi, being the smart guy that he was, pet him. He pet him. Pet him like he would a dog. As expected, Taehyung preened at the gesture. He nudged his head closer towards Yoongi, knee bouncing as a tail-wagging equivalent. They remained that way for a little while. Yoongi burying his fingers in Taehyung’s hair to stroke his head and calm him down, Taehyung with his sobs ebbing away and a pleased, content look falling upon his expression.

“You wanna tell me why you came knocking on my window at this hour?” Yoongi murmured, his voice without any malicious intent. He never could stay irritated at Taehyung for too long.

Taehyung, whose face was still flushed red from tears and the nip of the cold outside, ignored him and continued to keel into the touch. His knee bounced restlessly as Yoongi continued to humor his indulgence in Yoongi’s hand. Only once the elder felt his arm growing sore did he finally tip Taehyung’s chin up with his fingers so he could meet his eyes.

The younger let out a small whimper and his parted lips let out a whiff of something akin to whiskey. Christ, how much did he drink? “Tae, you okay, buddy?”

“Not buddy,” he huffed, jutting out his bottom lip in a childish protest. “I am Kim Taehyung. Tae-hyung. Say it with me.”

“Tae, p—”

“No, no,” he drowsily interrupted, clamping his hands against Yoongi’s lips to shut him up. The elder had a lot of patience when it came to Taehyung, but even this was testing his limits. He took a deep breath and waited as the other boy tried to recall what he was trying to say. “My name—” hiccup “—is Taehyung. Taehyung.”

Yoongi sighed, “Taehyung.”

His reaction was what took Yoongi aback. His pupils blew up, his eyes opening slightly wider, and his lips parting. A strange look passed over his gaze, one Yoongi couldn’t quite name. Not in that state at least. It was a strange response considering he really didn’t know what the fuck was going on at the time.

There he was, expecting a quiet night in when he could finally get some sleep in after spending hours at the studio. Yet, his peaceful slumber was so rudely interjected by this boy decked out in what might be considered the most festive things he had. A red, knitted sweater with what he guessed was a drunk Santa holding up a glass of beer and smirking, the letters “Ho-ho-hoes!” printed on it. It wasn’t quite age-appropriate. If Taehyung were underage. He had a pair of very, very tight maroon pants on too, clashing grossly with the looseness of his sweater. His usual neon pink beanie had been replaced by a Santa head pulled down low on his head over his bangs.

If there was a bigger cynic towards a capitalistic Christmas than Yoongi, it would be Taehyung.

“Taehyung, do you just want to sleep?” Yoongi pressed again, gesturing his hand to his empty bed.

He shook his head furiously, brows puckering between his eyes and lips pinching. Taehyung always had this look whenever he was thinking too hard, working his brain into overdrive. It kind of scared the elder to see him so frustrated with himself. “Okay, listen, I have something to tell you.”

“Uh, okay? Can it wait until a decent hour?”

Taehyung inhaled deeply again and pressed his lips together, “This is serious talk, Yoongi. Like real serious. Think of eighth grade math quiz with Teacher Han serious.”

Yoongi had no fucking clue what that meant but nodded anyway.

“So you know we’ve been neighbors for a bajillion years.” Bajillion was a clear overstatement. “And like, you’re super cool. Damn, you work in a studio and is super professional and talented. Oh my God, thinking about you in the studio—” he widened his eyes for dramatic effect “—nut material, man. Nut.”

“Dude,” Yoongi crinkled his nose, “get to the point.”

“Wait, I’m working on my introduction part.” Taehyung waved him off, chest rising in a brief hiccup again. He smacked his lips together as if he could retaste the alcohol on his tongue. “Okay, okay. Anyway, where was I? Studio, professional, nut. Yeah, so um, you’re like major cool. And that’s amazing? And I keep thinking you know—why don’t you have a boyfriend or girlfriend yet? Or any lover at all? You’re such a goddamn catch, Yoongi, the fuck.”

A breathless laugh slipped past his lips as he nodded. “Okay, thank you, Tae. I appreciate the flattery.”

Taehyung’s hands flew up to clamp Yoongi’s cheeks together, pushing his face to scrunch up. His gaze had a shiver snaking down the elder’s spine, the sheer intensity of it had his knees weakening. “No, this isn’t just flattery. I mean it. You’re a fuckin’ catch, Yoongs. Like fuck me—wait, no, not literally fuck me, not yet—shit, I’m getting the order mixed up.” He whined with a little shoulder shimmy as he squished Yoongi’s face harder. “Why are you so distracting?”

“I’ll keep my mouth shut,” Yoongi squeezed out past the involuntary curl of his lips.

“So yeah, I keep thinking to myself you know. You’re so sweet, you’re always taking care of me even though I’m a big ol’ shit who keeps getting on your nerves. And it’s not like I don’t hear people talk about us.”

Yoongi frowned, “Tae—”

“You said no interrupting,” Taehyung pressed his index finger against his lips and squinted. “I hear it all, Yoongi. You can’t just shield me from it. I’m not a baby. I’m your baby, but I’m not a baby.”

The elder snorted again, “Alright, baby.”

Taehyung tinged pink again, cheeks coloring a shade darker as his lips stuck out in another pout. “Basically, I’m just really thankful to have you around. I really appreciate it, you have no idea.”

“Tae,” Yoongi sighed, stroking his head again and Taehyung curled into him. “You don’t need to thank me, okay? We’re good right? That’s what friends do.”

“Yeah, friends,” he pursed his lips, “but the thing is, I just—” deep breath “—I’m really happy I have you with me, Yoongi. I’m glad you stuck around. Through everything, you are still the one person I can always count on.”

Yoongi wasn’t sure why Taehyung was getting all sentimental when he was drunk at three in the morning, but it made his heart throb in his chest. It was a painful thumping as his heartbeat picked up as his eyes carefully watched every twitch of Taehyung’s face as his expression crumpled again into one of sorrow and happiness at the same time.

“And what I’m trying to get at is that, you know, I just—I really think you’re great, you know,” he paused to chuckle stiffly, “you’re incredible. You’re sweet, and like you can be the super bad sexy cop or this sweet, gentle, and good cop.” Taehyung began stumbling over his words, tripping over the syllables as he tried to wrap his lips around them. Yoongi was having a difficult time trying to decipher parts of what he was saying, mainly because half of the phrases sounded as if they were formed from made-up words.

“Taehyung.”

That seemed to do the trick again. Taehyung deflated and calmed down, his shoulders slumping and breath knocking out of his chest. “Right, I’m good. Just kind of—lost my head and lungs for a second there. And words, can’t phrase, how talk wow.” Cue another nervous chuckle. “This was better when I had more whiskey inside of me, you wouldn’t happen to have like a whole bottle of vodka, do you?”

Yoongi chuckled, ruffling his hair, “What’s up with you? You usually won’t let anything stop you from talking and now you need alcohol?”

“This is different,” he cried out, but leaning his forehead against Yoongi’s shoulder. “My insides are shaking, my heart feels like it’s going to throw up, and my veins are gonna burst and there’s going to be blood all over the place.”

“Sounds pretty gross,” the elder muttered.

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

There was a vulnerable quake to his voice, a tremble in the strength of his tone that seemed too out of place for the Taehyung he knew. Yoongi’s heart ached at the sight and he wished he could just kiss all the pain—

Wait, kiss?

He needed to get it together. He had vowed a long time ago that he wouldn’t let himself take advantage of Taehyung’s admiration towards him. It was obvious that the younger had immense respect for his neighbor, but the last thing he wanted was to make a move based on Taehyung’s fanboy tendencies.

“Did you hear me? Yoongi?”

Taehyung’s deep voice and the squeeze around his arm drew him out of his thoughts. “I could never hate you,” he responded the truth quietly, an answer that came late.

“I know, that’s because you’re you and you’re amazing.” There was a faint dusting of coral on the tan of his cheeks. Taehyung looked away and, once again, pouted (Yoongi still wanted to kiss that away). “But I li—I mean, I just—never mind,” he grunted.

“No, sorry, I missed that. What did you say?”

Mumble, mumble.

“What?”

More mumbling.

“Taehyung, I can’t hear you.”

“Said I like you!” he exploded, and almost immediately burying his face in his hands.

There was a stillness in the air in which the two sat close to each other, knees touching, fingers brushing. Neither could bring the will to move in the fear of breaking that fragile equilibrium in the atmosphere. Taehyung wouldn’t look up, Yoongi was still 67% through processing what the fuck Taehyung just said.

“What?”

Taehyung moaned, looking up with such agony dancing in his irises. “Really? You’re going to make me say it again?”

“I’m just um—”

He exasperatedly smacked his hand over Yoongi’s mouth again. “I like you. Like like you. Like a stupid crush.”

“Stupid?” he said, voice muffled.

“It’s stupid,” Taehyung insisted and Yoongi quirked an eyebrow. “I know, you don’t have to say anything. ‘M just really drunk and I really needed to tell you otherwise I’m going to regret it and I really, really don’t want things to be awkward, you know.”

Yoongi pried his fingers off and intertwined them in between his. “Taehyung,” he said again. His name was beginning to sound like a prayer, a hopeful sweetener to calm him again.

“Let me down easy, please. Don’t rip off the bandaid, just peel it nice and slow—actually, no, I take it back. Reject me now—”

“Taehyung.”

He hiccuped.

Yoongi wanted to kiss him.

He did—on the cheek. Taehyung’s eyes brightened in surprise.

“I’m—I never knew and I’m honestly surprised,” Yoongi cleared his throat, feeling heat licking up his cheeks. “I didn’t expect this, especially not at this fuckin’ hour.”

“M’sorry.”

Yoongi smiled softly, “It’s fine. But I—I don’t know how to answer you right now and I’m sorry if that’s not what you want to hear.”

He sniffled, sucking in a breath, “No, I’m fine. I’m okay with it.”

“But,” he quickly added, “I think you’re just as cool and, if—if you’re willing to wait a little, I want to give this a try. I think—I never really believed in a lot of things before but you always have a way of seeing the world that makes me love it a little more. So, if you want, I want to try to show you that difference too and maybe—maybe make you love the world more too.”

There was a momentary pause before Taehyung once again erupted into tears. There was snot in his nose, his lungs were choking up, his breath catching in his throat, and waterfalls from his eyes. He was an entire mess as he pulled Yoongi in and thanked him over and over, promising to be the greatest almost-boyfriend he could ever dream of.

“Alright, alright,” Yoongi smiled, slowly accepting the fluttering in his stomach. “Stop crying, let’s get some sleep yeah? Let’s sleep that hangover off.”

“M’love you too.”

Yoongi choked, “Okay, buddy, that’s too many things in a night.”

“C-can we start wearing matching sweaters?”

“Yes, baby, okay.”

Taehyung giggled, wiping away his tears with the collar of his sweater. “Call me that again.”

“What?”

“Call me baby.”

Yoongi’s lips twitched. “Okay, baby.”

BONUS:

“What in the fuckin—”

Yoongi snapped a glare his way, “Don’t start. I don’t need your comments.”

Namjoon lifted up his phone and clicked a picture. “I’m going to make this this year’s Christmas card for the gang.”

“Fuck you,” Yoongi growled.

“Yoongi!” Taehyung squealed, tossing his arms around the elder. His frown melted away almost instantly as he wrapped his own arm around Taehyung’s waist, around the thick wool of his red, handmade sweater. Very handmade sweater. “You’re wearing it.”

Yoongi sighed, “Yes, I promised.”

“You don’t like it?”

Oh God. Not again. “N-no, baby, I love it.”

Taehyung lit up again before turning to Namjoon, “Hyung, what do you think?”

“Cute, I’m so jealous,” Namjoon grinned with a twinkle in his eye. Yoongi directed another withering look his way.

“Really? See, Yoongi! Told you I could make a career out of this.”

“Baby,” Yoongi started, “let me tell you remind you again that knitting a dick and an asshole on two sweaters does not make it a good idea for matching outfits.”

#bts #taehyung #yoongi #taegi17 #taegi scenarios #taegi fanfic #taegi fluff #bts scenarios #bts fluff #bts fanfic

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