#Sometimes The Only Way Out Is As A Carcass (Memes)

[a-muscle-the-size-of-your-fist]

Mun's in a bad way mentally right now so just send for any ship you like! If it's a ship I have on the blog, great, if not, also great. I just want to do something to take my mind off of All Of This Bullshit.

Send Me 🎔 + A Ship And I'll Tell You:

Who wins a prize at a carnival/fair/festival:

Who does most of the cooking:

Who does most of the shopping:

Who is hopeless at board games:

Who is always trying to make the other laugh:

Who has a tendency to give out TMI:

Who does more DIY projects:

Who is the big spoon:

Who gives more casual affection:

Who reads to whom:

Who brings drinks and food without being asked:

[darkwingphoenix]

Midnight Arrival of @loominggaia Memes, Comin' Right Up!

My two videos I always see when opening my meme archive to post (Gettin' Tips with Granny is the first, the other's just there and it's too awesome not to rewatch):

Skylie rapping as she terrorizes the Modernist army as she makes a new mermaid-esque affliction, the Khaenri'ah, who impulsively fight those who are extremely bigoted

Balthazaar, Skel and Glenvar as the only straight and cishet FGG

Citrine as a Toddler (She was a SWEETY PIE and affectionate ASF until Skylie showed her the art of pranks, and she never looked back on being an upstanding citizen)

Skylie, Saraia, Darshaan and Iriana being arrested by the Uekoran Guard as they were joyriding Rook way too fast for such a massive fucking unit (Darshaan fucking fell off)

Skylie at Cerulea's funeral (She killed her mom personally and just lied to clown on the woman, and Cobalt, Lazuline, Saphirra, and Cyana all caught on that bullshit)

Rook to Skylie (Breakfast is an entire cow carcass she caught 3 minutes ago with some berries and honey in the form of a shattered beehive, with pissed off bees still flying around)

Maia when she first encountered Skylie's monster pet for her, Ajaw (A tiny lil enantiornithine/pterosaur/sarcopterygian monster Skylie hand forged using Saraia's Chess Egg blueprint)

Cinnamon if Tomato proposed to Azadora (Saw the ask)

Hydriads to the newly spawned sirene and cecaelia (They're still comprehending the trauma of being spawned in like in WorldBox):

Saraia to Skylie after finding out she got torched by Cerulea and Rodrig and fed ash-smeared bread for a week

Zareen and Damijana polluting Western Evik to oblivion

Skylie posing dramatically to refuse a thing to over-obsessive fans

Skylie sometimes (She read this at the Athenaeum)(Angeline memeing on that shit like me rn)

The epic final charge of the Battle of Marduk Hill, led by Skylie, the Sons of Calydon, and every Reformist cavalry (Your Holiness, Free Bird was playing), seen through a leading Calydon Knight's helmet:

(4:25 is the best spot to jump to BTW)

Skylie obeying normal battle procedure, which SHE wrote herself, until the absolute last nanosecond, knowing it's good to prove an example to her soldiery, but immediately proving she solos and was just playing with kid gloves on, and took them off

Citrine normally vs. On her way to do a seance:

Blomi celebrating the new peace deal with Cobalt (She's about to fire the entire military in one go)

Skylie using literally everything in the books to make a monster zoo for Ascendance (She accidentally made West Evik's new ecosystem stable again and made a Wonder of the World)

A great way to describe boulderbacks:

[a-muscle-the-size-of-your-fist]

TAGS LIST

MAIN BLOG TAGS

Mr. Meek Speaks (OOC)

Yeah Okay Well Here's The Twist (Answered Asks)

Let Me See You Stripped Down To The Bone (Submissions)

Sometimes The Only Way Out Is As A Carcass (Memes)

Perfectin’ My Passion Thanks For Askin’ (Headcanon Memes)

Live In Dog Years And I Feel Twenty-Six Yeah I’m Old Bitch But I Learn New Tricks (Munday Meme)

I’m Key Look At Me! (Self Promo.)

What Do We Have Here? (Promo.)

NSFW Tag - (NSFScreamQueens)

I'll Meet Queue Underneath The Moon; Haunt Me Tonight

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TYPE BINGO ➽➽➽

CHARACTER TAGS - ALL MUSES

Your Heart Is A Muscle The Size Of Your Fist; So Keep On Lovin'; Keep On Fightin' (𝔸𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Heard A Scream In The Woods Somewhere (𝔹𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕣 𝕎𝕚𝕥𝕔𝕙 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Some People Are Just Born With Tragedy In Their Blood (𝔽𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕝 𝔻𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

There Are Devils To Slay And Dragons To Ride; If They See You Coming; Hell They Better Hide (𝕀𝕟𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Everyone Was Stoked; It Was Like The Whole School Was Totally Coked Or Something (𝕃𝕠𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕡𝕠𝕡 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

We Twist In Torment And Make-Believe; There's A Truth And We All Submit (ℙ𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕪 ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Never Thought I'd Live To See The Dead Walk (ℝ𝕖𝕤𝕚𝕕𝕖𝕟𝕥 𝔼𝕧𝕚𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

So How Did You Learn To Be Sick; So Cunning? It's Easy To Sing But You Just Keep On Humming Along (𝕊𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Serial Killers Know How To Party (𝕊ℍℝ𝕆𝕆𝕄𝕊 𝕄𝕌𝕊𝔼𝕊)

Don't Make A Sound; They're Not Dead; Just Sleeping (𝕊𝕚𝕝𝕖𝕟𝕥 ℍ𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Why Must I Digest You When Every Single Bite I Take Gives Me Chronic Stomach Ache? (𝕋𝕖𝕩𝕒𝕤 ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕒𝕨 𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕤𝕒𝕔𝕣𝕖 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

Mirror My Melody; Transfer My Tragedy; Got A Curse I Cannot Lift (𝕋𝕙𝕖 ℚ𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕪 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

I Can Be the Monster; I Can Be The Teeth Sunk In Your Skin (𝕌𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕝 𝔻𝕒𝕨𝕟 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕖𝕤)

CHARACTER TAGS - SINGLES

I'm Not A Good Person Ask Anyone Who Knows Me; I'm Mean And Bitter And A Failure (𝔸𝕕𝕒𝕞)

And When She Walks All The Wind Blows And The Angels Sing (𝔸𝕤𝕙𝕝𝕖𝕪)

I Want To Ride My Bicycle I Want To Ride My Bike (𝔹𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕪)

I Will Battle For The Sun And I Won’t Stop Until I’m Done (𝔹𝕠𝕓𝕓𝕪)

It Skulks Around In The Shadows Watching Me; It's Waiting! It's Torturing Me By Waiting! (ℂ𝕒𝕥ℕ𝕒𝕡)

I Might Be The Villain In Somebody Else's Story But That's Fine (ℂ𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕝𝕚𝕒)

Kill Me I’m A Monster I Beg You Now ‘Cause I’m Not A Killer (ℂℍ𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕥𝕥)

Hey There; I Know It's Hard To Feel Like I Don't Care At All (ℂ𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝)

My Life Is Like A Video Game Trying Hard To Beat The Stage (ℂ𝕙𝕣𝕚𝕤)

Fingers Blistered From The Nightly Scratching At The Window Which Won't Open Far Enough To Let Air In (ℂ𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕪)

I'm Beginning To Lull Myself Into A False Security 'Cause It's Easier To Lie To Yourself Than To Face Reality (𝔻𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕕)

Do You Feel Okay? You Look Pretty Low; Very Handsome Awkward (𝔻𝕪𝕝𝕒𝕟)

I'm Not A Girl I'm A Swarm Of Bees; Wrapped In A Skin Suit; Perfect Teeth (𝔼𝕕𝕚𝕥𝕙)

And Everyone Tells You You’re Better; They Beg And Plead And Scream That You’re Better; But You Could Never Be Better Than You (𝔼𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕤)

I Can Hold The Weight Of Worlds If That's What You Need; Be Your Everything (𝔼𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟)

Mr. Cellophane Should Have Been My Name 'Cause You Can Look Right Through Me; Walk Right By Me; And Never Know I'm There (𝔽𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣)

I'm Fired Up And Tired Of The Way That Things Have Been (𝔽𝕠𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣 & 𝕃𝕚𝕡𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜)

Why Are People Always Hating On Me? Hmm Must Be ‘Cause I’m Really Good Looking (𝔽𝕣𝕒𝕟𝕜𝕚𝕖)

They Won’t Like What I Say I Force It Out Too Corrupt They Hate Me Anyway (𝕀𝕒𝕟)

Don’t Let Me In With No Intention To Keep Me; Jesus Christ; Don't Be Kind To Me; Honey Don't Feed Me; I Will Come Back (𝕁𝕒𝕔𝕠𝕓)

Oh; He's Sweet But A Psycho; A Little Bit Psycho (𝕁𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤)

I'm Bigger Than My Body; I'm Colder Than This Home; I'm Meaner Than My Demons; I'm Bigger Than These Bones (𝕁𝕖𝕤𝕤)

Game Face On; Hit The Pose Like Perfect! Smack My Face On The Pavement; Nurses! (𝕁𝕦𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕥)

And Then My Eyes Got Used To The Darkness And Everyone That I Knew Was Lost And So Long Forgotten (𝕃𝕒𝕟𝕖)

The Rhythm Of Rebellion From The Rattle In Your Bones; A Sonic Liberation; Salvation In Your Headphones (𝕃𝕒𝕣𝕜)

Tiptoe Through The Window; By The Window That Is Where I'll Be; Come Tiptoe Through The Tulips With Me (𝕃𝕚𝕡𝕤𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕜)

You Look At Me But You Don't See; Understand I'm A Sinner; Don't Corner Me; Don't Lecture Me (𝕃𝕠𝕘𝕒𝕟)

You're Looking Good But You're Feeling The Pressure (𝕃𝕦𝕚𝕤)

The Tide Is Rising High; It's Sink Or Swim; It's Hit Or Miss; What Will You Pick? (𝕃𝕪𝕟𝕟)

I Cut My Tongue On The Rust Of A Silver Spoon (𝕄𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕜)

When My Time Comes Around Lay Me Gently In The Cold Dark Earth; No Grave Can Hold My Body Down (𝕄𝕒𝕥𝕥)

I Never Knew You Could Hold Moonlight In Your Hands Until The Night I Held You (𝕄𝕒𝕩)

He Was In The Habit Of Taking Things For Granted; Granted There Wasn't Much For Him To Take (𝕄𝕚𝕜𝕖)

I've Had To Work Much Harder Than This For Something I Want; Don't Try To Resist Me (𝕄𝕠𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕦)

Staying Up Until The Morning I Wish I Was More Discerning (𝕆𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕚𝕒)

What Doesn't Kill You Will Make You A Killer (ℙ𝕖𝕥𝕖)

Of Course I Get Manic When I Cause A Panic (ℙ𝕖𝕥𝕖𝕣)

In The Valley Of The Dolls We Sleep; Got A Hole Inside Of Me (ℙ𝕠𝕡𝕡𝕪)

Oh My Yeah I Get So High I Can’t Think Sometimes I Try And Drown In My Drink (ℝ𝕠𝕣𝕪)

If I Wasn't A Narcissist I Wouldn't Like Me Either (𝕊𝕔𝕠𝕥𝕥)

I Hope I Become A Ghost And Make Sure The Future Turns Out Fine (𝕊𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕤)

You Take A Mortal Man And Put Him In Control; Watch Him Become A God! Watch People's Heads A-Roll! (𝕊𝕨𝕒𝕟)

You'll Learn Right Now I Don't Play Nice And If You Hurt Me Once I'll Kill You Twice (𝕋𝕒𝕣𝕒)

Nothing’s Gonna Hurt You Baby; Nothing’s Gonna Take You From My Side (𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕧𝕚𝕤)

I Feel So Bad I Got A Worried Mind; I'm So Lonesome All The Time (ℤ𝕠𝕖)

PET TAGS

If You Want Me To Wait I Will Wait For You; If You Tell Me To Stay I Would Stay Right Through (𝔹𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕥)

I Guess I'm Waiting For Nightfall Or A Solar Eclipse (𝔻𝕦𝕜𝕖)

Here Come The Wolves; They're Coming To Get You (𝕎𝕠𝕝𝕗𝕚𝕖)

VERSE TAGS

V: Don't Scream Your Story's Marred With Bad Intentions - Main Verse - Canon events have happened unless previously discussed. Dead muses can be interacted with as ghosts/zombies or in flashbacks. Note: Adam is dead for this AU.

V: Just Let The Sun In; It's Love! - Everything Is Fine And Nothing Hurts Verse - No canon events have happened. Typically a modern AU unless there's a specified time period in the media.

V: Everything Is Alright; Yeah Tell Me That You're Alright - Post-Canon Fix-It Verse - All canon events happened but Something happened to rewind things. All dead characters are alive again and are okay. They have scars from their deaths, however.

V: Smile For The Camera But Don't Flash Your Teeth - Werepire Verse 1 - Please see muse list for Werepire species of each muse - A verse in which supernatural creatures are real and people know about them. They are integrated into society like normal people for the most part.

V: I Could Be Honest; I Could Be Human; I Could Become The Silver Bullet In Your Head - Werepire Verse 2 - Please see muse list for Werepire species of each muse - A verse in which supernatural creatures are real and they are not widely known by the general public. They must hide themselves and present human as much as they can, and many do by means of magic.

V: The Smell Of Flowers Was So Thick And Sickly Sweet I Felt Like I Might Choke To Death - Hanahaki Verse - Please see muse list for the flowers that they cough up in the verse. UNDER CONSTRUCTION - A verse in which unrequited love leads to the coughing up of flower petals. It can be fatal if the infected person does not get the surgery to remove them or confess and have those feelings returned.

Blair Witch Verses

V: And Everybody Says They Know Better; And Maybe They’re Right - Non-Blair Witch AU - Ellis didn’t go to the forest to look for Peter because Bullet got sick after stealing a piece of pizza with onion on it. He made it because Ellis took him to the vet immediately, but he missed going to the search party. Lane and Talia never went with the group to the woods because of Lane's father interfering and making them late.

V: I Still Felt Real Depressed But I've Got Plenty Of Other Things To Spend My Time - Fix-It AU - Ellis reasons with the witch and manages to undo a lot of the damage to those he cared about. As long as they remain in Black Hills Forest, he is allowed to have Emmett and Carver around. He spends a lot of time with them and calls Jess whenever he has a signal. Lane does not become possessed due to Ellis' relationship to the Witch. She takes pity on him, but cannot let him go, so he remains with Ellis and the others.

V: Sometimes The Short End Of The Stick Is The Sharpest - Becoming Carver AU - Ellis destroyed all of the witch's sigils and eventually became Carver. He is a gentler Carver and is still depressed and guilty. He hates what he's done and craves death much of the time. All he wants is his freedom.

V: Hey Would It Be So Bad If I Stayed? I'm Just A Ghost Out Of His Grave - Ghost!Ellis AU - As a ghost, Ellis haunts the woods and the surrounding area. He is joined by the other dead in the forest and is often subjected to the witch's desires and whims. He spends a lot of time with her and the other ghosts in the forest.

Final Destination Verses

Insidious Verses

Resident Evil Verses

V: I Wanna Start From The Top Maybe Like A Do-Over - Patch Notes AU - Post-canon Fix-It AU. Nobody stayed dead, nothing hurts, and everything is fine.

Saw Verses

Silent Hill Verses

The Quarry Verses

Until Dawn Verses

V: Can You Forgive Me All These Things That I Have Done? What's It Like To Be Two Times Martyred? - Hunter Verse - Post-Canon Supernatural Hunter Verse. All muses are available to become hunters of the monsters that terrorized them or all supernatural creatures.

EVENT TAGS

None At This Time

ON-BLOG & TAGS

I'll Build A New House In Every Town I Pass Maybe Then I Won't Always Feel Lost And Trapped (Adam & Peter)

All You Need Is Just Some Good Fxcking Music You Can Headbang To (Adam & Scott)

A Woman's Voice; I Quickly Ran; Into The Trees With Empty Hands (Ellis & Lane)

I Am Aware That You Are All Assholes; Who The Hell Cares About All Of That Though? (Lark & Scott)

And He Tells Me He's Sick And He's All Alone (Logan & David)

Me Without You Ain't Right (Mike & Jess)

ON-BLOG SHIP TAGS

We Creep About The Floor To Indulge Like Rats (Adam ♡ Lark)

A Mí Ne Gusta Que Me Digan Poesía; Al Oído Por La Noche Cuando Hacemos Groserías (Ashley ♡ Luis)

Eres Una Obra De Arte; Con Solo Mirarte; Algo Que Da Paz (Luis ♡ Ashley)

He Doesn't Know What He Deserves But He Still Falls So Hard It Hurts (David ♡ Logan)

You're A Lesson That I Wish I'd Never Learned So Well (Lark ♡ Scott)

I Shouldn't Have Fallen In Love; Look What It Made Me Become (Logan ♡ David)

I Just Wanna Feel Alive And I Do When I’m With You (Mike ♡ Jess)

Combat Baby; Come Back Baby; Fight Off The Lethargy; Don't Go Quietly (Scott ♡ Adam)

I'm Too Sweet To Be Salty About It; Too Sour To Be Happy Without It (Scott ♡ Lark)

& TAGS (SPECIFIC)

& Tags With @lovely-cadavers

Frown Gets Her Way Like Every Step To The Daylight Keeps You Stumbling On (Ashley & Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Have You Ever Been Close To Tragedy Or Been Close To Folks Who Have? (Clancy & Jack - lovely-cadavers)

I've Never Had To Knock On Wood; But I Know Someone Who Has; Which Makes Me Wonder If I Could (Clancy & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

I Got These Terrible Dreams Where I Do Terrible Things; I Don't Want To Believe It's You I Am Doing Them To (Ethan & Jack - lovely-cadavers)

Oh; Now You Are A Handful; I Forgot About Handfuls (Ethan & Karl - lovely-cadavers)

I Got The Devil In The Details And He's Gonna Teach Me Wrong From Right (Ethan & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

I Just Wanted To Protect You; But Now I'll Never Get To (Ethan & Rose - lovely-cadavers)

Come Back To Me A While; Change Your Taste In Men (Luis & Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Say What You Want And What You Want Is Behind Your Teeth (Moreau & Alcina - lovely-cadavers)

They Tell Me That You're Lonely; It's No Surprise When You Walk Around All Day Wearing Those Lonely Eyes (Moreau & Donna - lovely-cadavers)

I'll Be Just Fine Pretending I'm Not; I'm Far From Lonely And It's All That I've Got (Moreau & Karl - lovely-cadavers)

Stronger Folks You Could Not Find; They Ain't Afraid To Speak Their Minds (Zoe & Jack)

'Cause At Night; The Sun In Retreat; Made The Skyline Look Like Crooked Teeth (Zoe & Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

& Tags With @inthepines-inthepines

Can't You See Me? You And I We Are The Same (Ellis & Carver - inthepines-inthepines)

But On The One Day They Close Early; That's The One You Want To Stay (Ellis & Emmett - inthepines-inthepines)

But Please Don't Give Up Dear Walls; Don't Let The Ceiling Fall (Ellis & Jess - inthepines-inthepines)

& Tags With @but-ive-been-called-worse

It Feels Like We're Dying But Baby We're Doing Just Fine (Adam & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

You'll Never Hear This Song; You'll Never See The Movie In My Head (Adam & Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Forget Everything You Think You Knew Of Who I Used To Be I Look Much Better As The Enemy (Cecilia & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Pretty Boy Don't Speak; You Pretty Boys Are Only Good For One Thing (Mallick & Brit - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Float Like A Butterfly Sting Like A Killer (Peter & Amanda - but-ive-been-called-worse)

The Saint Charade Is Over Plastic Royalty Exposed (Peter & Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist (Peter & Mark - but-ive-been-called-worse)

You're Something To Die For But Don't Hold Your Breath Now; You're Just Killing Time (Peter & Lindsey - but-ive-been-called-worse)

& Tags With [Placeholder]

Here We Are Just About The Same; Foggy Little Feline; Drowsy Little Dog (CatNap & DogDay - Placeholder)

& Tags With @21xpickup

I Died So I Could Have You; I Died So I Could Haunt You (Clancy & Lucas - 21xpickup)

I've Got Friends In All The Right Places; I Know What They Want And I Know They Don't Want Me To Stay (Ethan & Lucas - 21xpickup)

They're Hiding Their Faces; Their Smiles Can Break The Heart In Two (Zoe & Lucas - 21xpickup)

& Tags With @emilesmuseassembly

Don't You Want To Get Matching Necklaces? Each Of Us Can Wear One Half Of The Heart (Jess & Matt - emilesmuseassembly)

The Only Thing Constant Was The Constant Reminder He'd Never Change (Mike & Matt - emilesmuseassembly)

& Tags With @trapped-twins

Don't Look So Down And Out; Built Your House You Burned It Down (Logan & David - trapped-twins)

Everybody Said Uh-Oh; Let's Go; Here Comes Trouble But Trouble Does Come In Threes (Specs & Adam & David)

What If There's Nothing More To Me? I'm Just Skin And Bones; There's No Mystery? (Specs & Adam - trapped-twins)

The Bright Ideas Always Get Lost Along The Way (Specs & David - trapped-twins)

& Tags With @wr4th-of-the-gods

All You Need Is Just Some Good Fucking Music You Can Headbang To (Adam & Scott - wr4th-of-the-gods)

Stay Right Here; We Can Change Our Plight; Storming Through This Despite What's Right (Chell & Stacy - wr4th-of-the-gods)

& Tags With @homelander-rp-blog

You Got A Reaction Didn't You? You Took A White Orchid Turned It Blue (Clancy & Homelander - homelander-rp-blog)

They Cannot Steal The Light That Shines From Who You Once Were (Ethan & Homelander - homelander-rp-blog)

& Tags With @thxwxlf

I'mma Shake You Off Though; Get Up On That Horse And Ride Into The Sunset; Look Back With No Remorse (Bobby & Kekipi - thxwxlf)

I've Got An Animal Inside Of Me; I'm Getting Sick Sick Sick Of Pushing It Down (CHackett & Kekipi - thxwxlf)

& Tags With @suniside-crossing

Don't Be Scared My Friend; Death Is A Beginning Not An End (CatNap & DogDay - suniside-crossing)

& Tags With @riggedtraps

Put Your Fist Up If You Wanna Do Something; Make Your Mind Up If You Wanna Do Something (Logan & Amanda - riggedtraps)

& Tags With @dollhidden

Strutting Through The City; Her Heart Has Got No Pity For You (Ethan & Alcina - dollhidden)

Tragedy Comes In Threes; Third Degree Apathy (Ethan & Bela - dollhidden)

I Need You To Hurt Me; I Need You To Fight Me; I Need You To Kill Me; I Need You To Destroy Me (Ethan & Cassandra - dollhidden)

It's Not That I'm So Unprepared; It's Just You'd Think I'd Grow Out Of This; Wouldn't You? (Ethan & Daniela - dollhidden)

& Tags With @twinklefairy-dust

Is It Wrong There's A Song That Is Called Barracuda? There Is None That Is Named After You! (Moreau & Jazmin - twinklefairy-dust)

& Tags With @mountaindmned

You Don't Have Long; I Can Feel You Feel Strong; But You Don't Bow To Kings Or Anybody (Chris & Jack - Mountaindmned)

& Tags With @fromgallowsandgraves

I've Played With Chance Like You; I Loved To Toy With Fate But Oh; I Didn't Have A Clue (Peter & Adam - fromgallowsandgraves)

& Tags With @hopeturned

It Haunts Me When You Taunt Me Into Darkness It Haunts Me So (Foster & Lipstick & Josh - hopeturned)

SHIPPING TAGS (SPECIFIC)

Ship Tags With @lovely-cadavers

'Cause I'm In Too Deep And I'm Trying To Keep Up Above In My Head Instead Of Going Under (Clancy ♡ Lucas - lovely-cadavers)

If You Rise Again Take A Form I Know (Ethan ♡ Jack - lovely-cadavers)

Baby; No One's Honest Anymore But We Could Be Different (Ethan ♡ Karl - lovely-cadavers)

No Te Vayas Quédate (Luis ♡ Leon - lovely-cadavers)

Ship Tags With @inthepines-inthepines

Somebody Somewhere Will Clean Out Your Wounds With Dirty Fingers (Ellis ♡ Carver - inthepines-inthepines)

If You Need A Little Sunshine You Can Borrow Some Of Mine (Ellis ♡ Emmett - inthepines-inthepines)

Seems Like We've Waited Long Enough For Someone Else To Make Us Feel Complete (Ellis ♡ Jess - inthepines-inthepines)

Ship Tags With @but-ive-been-called-worse

I Need Love So Someone Bring Me A Photographer (Adam ♡ Lawrence - but-ive-been-called-worse)

'Cause When I Mess Up You Never Give Up Your Love; Yeah I'm A Fuck-Up But You Swear I'm Enough (Mallick ♡ Brit - but-ive-been-called-worse)

I'll Fill The Graveyards Until I Have You (Peter ♡ Mark - but-ive-been-called-worse)

Shipping Tags With [Placeholder]

I'm Daydreamin' With My Chin In The Palm Of My Hands; About You And Only You (CatNap ♡ DogDay - placeholder)

Ship Tags With @trapped-twins

I'll Be Your Lucky Star If You Promise That You'll Never Let Me Go (Logan ♡ David - trapped-twins)

Ship Tags With @suniside-crossing

I've Grown A Mouth So Sharp And Cruel; It's All That I Can Give To You My Dear (CatNap ♡ DogDay - suniside-crossing)

[gorbalsvampire]

Hope it's still okay to send you asks for that VtM character meme?

For Penny: Life 4, Death 14?

For Sorcha: Death 13, Clans 4 (but specifically for the non-Giovanni precursors)?

It's always OK.

Did they have any vices, addictions, or mental illnesses? Which carried over into death?

Besides her Catholicism, and the chip on her shoulder the size of a small house? Not really. Penny was quite horrifically depressed when she died, but her life had been systematically ruined from outside for the last three years. Her general personality - the haughty posh girl who knows she's cleverer than almost everyone and isn't quite clever enough to shut up about it - was acquired young, though.

Have they ever Frenzied? What happened?

Heheheehe... yes. Yes she has. And Penny's frenzy is a cold fury, a shaking, snarling, stalking state of dissociation that's surrounded by so much meat. Her quarters in the slaughterhouse haven are the old meat locker, and she keeps carcasses slung up as much for stress relief as study. Battering the shit out of a frostrimed corpse must teach you something.

Do they believe in Gehenna? How do they feel about Thin-bloods, and do they believe they’re a sign of the end times?

... does Sorcha believe that everyone believes the world's going to end somewhere, somehow, sometime? Absolutely. Does Sorcha believe in a lot of what she's heard about Gehenna? Absolutely not. Sorcha's planning ahead, for the world as is and as she wants it to be, and if it ends in the meantime, that's not something she can do fuck-all about.

As for the "time of thin blood" - Sorcha is a thin-blood, and recently got clued in to the "it's not thin-bloods existing it's you eating them" interpretation of that particular bit of prophecy. So the elders are setting themselves up to fail by bringing about their own apocalypse? Fuck 'em, then.

Being a thin-blood is all potential to Sorcha: her emergent fusion of necromantic and alchemic practices is going to break Oblivion wide open if she can just get a clue about where she's going. Thin-bloods are the wave of the future, baby - the next step in Kindred evolution - and if the sects don't see things that way, Duskborn just gonna have to represent.

(She talks a big game, but she's still very much under the protection of her family. It's possible that her whole neutrality kick is Hecata supremacy by another name... but two of her best friends and mentors are hardcore Duskborn activists, and knowing that she came in later than them and hasn't lived the hard life they have is either a spur for her ambition or a rod for her back. Depends how insecure she's feeling.)

…Clan Hecata (or their predecessor clans, Giovanni and Cappadocian)?

Cool as shit. She's only met a couple of Harbingers, at arms' length, but she's fascinated by them as these ancient death entities that seem as far beyond Kindred as Kindred do people. She knows the Naysan San Am exist but hasn't had much contact with them (yet, that's gonna change in... about a week's time). Sorcha was adopted into a post-Reunion clan, and as far as she's concerned this is the way it ought to be.

[thessalian]

Thess vs Marketing Execs

When I’m having a particularly bad day and really need to get my mind off something, I have a little trick, and I have Tumblr to thank for it.

I mean, you look at a lot of media by a lot of the big individuals and a lot of what you find is fairly formulaic stuff. Some of it’s good. Some of it’s bad. But all of it is very clearly micromanaged by a bunch of executives looking at a spreadsheet and saying, “This is what The Young People want. This is what will make us money”.

The problem for them is that their whole model’s out of date, and has been since the internet. Once upon a time, they could reinforce the formula through the only way we The Young People ever got to hear about anything new that we might like - radio, TV, magazines. And then the internet came along and you could type something into a search engine and find the official site ... but also a lot of fan-made sites by people who were into it which often pointed to the other things they were into. Yeah, those sites were cringe, often badly coded on Geocities ... but we got a bigger window to the world than most companies wanted us to have, because they wanted to control what consumers thought was cool as much as possible and suddenly people were just ... sharing what random shit they thought was cool, and people were getting into those things rather than just jumping on The Next Big Thing.

Thing is, even when we got into the social media space, The Almighty Algorithm allowed MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter to reinforce the formula. Tumblr, on the other hand ... we’ve called it a lot of things. The Last Wild Frontier of the Internet; the whale carcass that sinks to the abyssopelagic zone of the internet to feed the deep-dwellers there, all kinds of weird analogies. Fact is that it’s just never been that level of profitable. The algorithm attempts never worked here. The format’s wrong for it, and people use it for things that just aren’t profitable in that way. And yeah, we celebrate fandoms, but we also create new ones, beautiful and impermanent as soap bubbles, for the most random fucking shit.

So sometimes, when I’m feeling particularly grumpy and need to start thinking about something else for my sanity, I imagine a marketing team assigned to monitor Tumblr, reporting back to their team lead, and the team lead asks, “...What are they obsessing about this week?” Just because I love the mental image of what happens when the answer is something like, “Sea shanties, The Cask of Amontillado, and this guy who sold substandard copper a couple of milennia ago”. Imagine a marketing department who lives to tick the boxes on a marketing spreadsheet trying to find some way of making bank on something like “Out Of Touch Thursday”. Or trying to figure out what exactly The Young People are trying to say about the viability and direction of the Star Wars franchise in the wake of “Live Slug Reaction” memes.

Seriously, next time you’re depressed or angry, just look at whatever weird and wacky bullshit is on your Tumblr at the moment and imagine someone trying to explain it to a marketing exec. We don’t feel like we have a lot of power in the grand scheme of things, but by the gods we can frustrate people who want to make us little more than a demographic to which to sell shit.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP Meme from "Chapter One: The Bad Old Days" in the Bone Gnawers book from "Werewolf: The Apocalypse" Part 2 of 2

"Soon you’ll be blind to the world around you!"

"Oh, and then there was the long-discarded ideal of actually giving a shit about the human race. Remember that?"

"We fought to defend everyone, before we became so damn cynical and skeptical."

"It is our pleasure to serve. And it is a pleasure to entertain you."

"Look at this poor sap. Living off garbage. Sleeping in the street in that smelly cloak."

"What’s so great about being homeless?"

"For what? Money? Power? Privilege? For nothing."

"They say we’re cowards, bastards, lazy, selfish, or worse. Don’t buy it."

"Let me be straight; I’m not dumb enough to try to save

everyone."

"Most folks aren't worth saving."

"The world is corrupt, so people are corrupt."

"Ninety percent of everything is crap, including humanity."

"It’s like a big garbage dump."

"I can’t just laugh off the world."

"My world is different."

"In my world, when I walk down the street, no one looks me in the eye. They lock their doors. They keep their distance."

"People on the sidewalks reach out for help, and all they get is nothing."

"I don’t want to play the fool."

"It’s up to us. It’s time we acted up."

"You’re only a bum if you want to be a bum.

"You want to be a hero? Get to work."

"We had to save the world."

"The meek were set to inherit the Earth, but they were going to get dirt unless they took what they needed."

"We fought for anyone that had been cast out, kept down, or ripped off."

"Clearly the next taleteller has an edge, or perhaps a bit of influence in the right place."

"Quit your growling!"

"Okay, so maybe it went a little easier on us."

"Women laying down with wolves to mate with them, bearing their spawn. Men breeding with beasts in animalistic rites. Stalking demons showing up in the dead of night to claim their children from human parents."

"Millions suspected of witchcraft and heresy writhed on the flames of bonfires."

"No more finding food for the hungry to eat. No more protecting places where the homeless could sleep."

"Cowardly freak."

"Humans found the remains, stripped of flesh and gnawed to the bone."

"No matter where we came from, we came together in America."

"We’ve fought for a lot of ideals, as you can tell, and we’ve certainly suffered when they’ve failed."

"This time, we wouldn’t take the cowardly way out."

"In a sense, the war almost became a game to us — a deadly, glorious game."

"Sweet, glorious freedom."

"If we didn’t have a place of our own in Europe, then we’d have to make a home in America."

"Because we fought for it honorably, we felt like we’d earned it."

"Fair play is the American way, after all!"

"But right now, you’re on my turf!"

"We each tell the story to serve our own ends."

"Maybe I’m just proud of who I am. You got a problem with that, pal?"

"Ancient and powerful undead stalked the corridors of Versailles. Tainted vampires took obscene pleasure in sipping the blue blood of the French nobility. Evil ancients remained content to maintain their facades of power and privilege."

"And we don’t do that sort of thing, do we? Well, do we?"

"They didn’t understand what we were fighting for!"

" And then again, maybe we should have paid less attention to human society and more to our own."

"But if your lot in life involves getting humiliated on a regular basis, it’s time for a change."

"You see, we’ve been cast out and kicked out and beaten up over and over again, but we never gave up, and we never give in."

"Some bit of hope or foolishness kept us going, and enough of us believed in it back then that it started to make a difference."

"If we weren’t good enough for the old traditions, we’d make up new ones."

"And remember, anyone can be a success if they work hard enough!"

"When the Romanovs lost power, the people surged up to retake what was rightfully theirs."

"Hey! I ain’t no Commie! But I got a lot of sympathy for anyone who’s been beaten down for so long."

"Sometimes you have to survive any way you can."

"Someone preaches a high ideal, we do the hard work, someone else reaps the rewards."

"You keep fighting until you win."

"If everyone works, everyone wins."

"You were still a hero."

"We didn’t want to die; we played to win."

"So where the hell are we?"

"Drunk off our asses and freezing cold."

"We should get involved."

"How is the world going to end?"

"Or is the Apocalypse just the dawn of a new age, where everything’s going to be created all over again?"

"I live here and now!"

"I’m alive, and I’m going to stay that way, no matter comes my way!"

"We’re gonna survive, even if we have to scavenge the bones of the carcass of the world!"

"Look into the flames! That is what the world will look like, and soon!"

"THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE!"

"Life in the shadows continues."

[madamhatter]

subserviiient inquired :  ⚰️ + Atsushi and Anzu? if they killed someone meme: send ⚰️ + a ship ... | accepting ! | @subserviiient​

is more likely to kill someone: Depends on the time and universe. Atsushi, before getting his ability under control, has been responsible for countless deaths that he wasn’t aware of. Past that, it will trouble him greatly to consider needing to kill someone and, imo, he gains hesitance and sometimes get sickly when he’s forced to think back on what he did and what happened to those bodies. Anzu, meanwhile, could be used to the brink of her humanity when particular buttons are pushed and she could revert to her pre-Kimisaki days. However, in normal conditions, any form of a murder wouldn’t happen. Anzu would be the most likely to do it at a bad time while Atsushi has to due to his work.   only threatens to kill someone but won’t actually go that far: I would find that Anzu would do it more often that Atsushi. He is one not to really threaten someone as opposed to telling them he’d stop them or for them to stop it. Anzu, meanwhile, may say it in an unconventionally cheery way and later move on with her impending plans of murder.  freaks out and who stays perfectly calm and collected: Frenzy fresh in the air, Atsushi and Anzu are immediately in a full-fledged panic over the current circumstances. Thoughts race, questions arise, but nothing is answered. Just how did they end up in this predicament? And how do two teenagers begin to defend and justify what has now just occurred? However, as normalized as he is to the visceral reality of death, the young detective would be the first to calm down and attempt to alleviate the producer’s panic. provides the utensils to help get rid of the body:  By all means, the young detective has the right connections if he wanted to get rid of the body. He’s quite aware that some colleagues in the ADA have a history of making people disappear. However, he only owns the clothes on his back (which were gifted, tbh) and the empty wallet sinking in his also empty pockets. Anzu, meanwhile, is not prepared to handle carcasses unless it’s the one she calls ‘senpai,’ who already considers himself undead. Even then, she knows the right people who know the right contacts, either way, there isn’t a chance she’ll notify them of her current situation. Neither would be quite ready for this!

comes up with the hiding place for the body: Coming up with a plan to hide a body wasn't exactly neither of them was prepped for. Both producer and detective were fishes out of water; where they were wasn’t either of their native cities. It is only through a quick exchange of questions and fretful talking that they both considered a location.  watches out that nobody witnesses them getting rid of the body: Atsushi stands guard, shifting uncomfortably in his shoes while hearing the producer struggle with the remains. While he wants to ensure that no one else notices, he will end up going back to help Anzu. Though, he’s already thinking of what to tell the ADA about this mess. hides the body and murder weapon: Anzu could try to do everything on her mind, wanting to keep any traces of Atsushi from the crime. However, Atsushi will step up and tell her not to push herself beyond what she can handle. knows the right people to deal with this: Anzu and Atsushi know the people to call. Of course, what do you expect as a friend to the Oddballs and as an employee of the ADA? However, neither of them would call for back-up. This is their mess, they’re keeping it as their own. isn’t doing this for the first time: Cue Atsushi’s face paling when he realizes what he’s gotten himself into again. will cave in and eventually call the police: Anzu’s overwhelmed with guilt while Atsushi attempts to hold the operation together. He would try his damnest to make sense of the situation while wanting to keep her safe. She didn’t even have an M.O. However, Anzu’s nerves will get the better of her and she’ll call the police.  puts the blame on themself to save the other: Taking on the martyr role, Anzu holds herself responsible and will take fault for everything. The young detective, in the story she’s creating in her mind, tried stopping her and she failed. What she fails to realize is that Atsushi would counter her claims since he isn’t rather big on someone taking fault for something they didn’t do. It bitterly reminds him of how the other children at the orphanage treated him. is the better liar: Anzu’s true calling is lying. Lying to her loved ones, to herself, to the world around her. She wouldn’t think twice of it but Atsushi is trying to defend her and explain the scenario to put her in a good light. Other members of the ADA would recognize the large discrepancies, meaning Anzu’s lies may get called out. 

[thetradeway]

Session 38 27 Mar 2021: The Flesh Ripper - “We can salvage this!”

The world is a massive bollocking twat this week, so nobody is super happy. Luckily it’s D&D day! Ed reminds us that Melaina did 46 damage in one hit last week, making us all feel inferior. Foul noises are coming from roll20, worrying all of us. Maybe it’s a chest opening noise!

Joe suggests a different noise, one that sounds like a very large beast doing a cross between a belch and a roar, and this one kills Matthew’s sound card. Too much gain on the monster noises.

Matthew heard a news story about a baby shark getting swallowed whole by a crocodile. Tiktok is going to go nuts for that one, they love baby sharks. Ed says he heard about how sometimes baby sharks eat each other in the womb, and it’s the most metal thing he’s ever heard of. There’s a verse for the baby shark song. (We all conspicuously do not sing it, for the sake of Sophie who has never heard it.)

There’s some waffle about the clocks changing while we wait to see if Mina is joining us; she hasn’t been on the group chat today. I send her a message but it doesn’t seem to get delivered. We wait a few minutes to see if she’ll get back to us. Just as Joe gives me control of Kessler, she pops in. lol.

There are some Ever Given memes on the group chat, and then we get started. We are in the Flesh Ripper’s lair…

The arcane casters (except Melaina, who doesn’t have a high enough spell slot yet) all get the Woundbind spell, which they can add to their spell lists.

The doorway on the other side of the canal where we defeated the Black Puddings is blocked with carcasses and bones. Does it look like the flesh has been ripped off them?

DM: “Yeah.”

Ahleqs: “ohhhhh noooooo……”

Kessler rolls Investigation on the pile of... stuff and gets a 15. It’s made of bones and gristle and fat from all manner of creatures from rats to trolls or ogres. The limbs look torn off. (It’s a wookiee - we just need to make sure we let it win.) She can see it will take some strength to shift the bones if we want to get through that tunnel. The roar comes again; we see the back of Ahleqs’ head as he makes a break for it. We could go back and say it wasn’t in…?

We go around the other corner instead and Melaina is immediately attacked by something, finding herself suspended in… something, and her flesh begins to burn.

(Sophie, reading the description of the attack: “‘Engulf’. Bollocks. That sounds awful.”)

She makes a DEX save and escapes. It is a gelatinous cube, AKA, the Dungeon Roomba! (This would explain why the rest of the sewer is so immaculately clean.)

Tarragon Thunderwaves it but it makes the save. She backs up a little. Grease Wizard is up next. He moves closer. “Oh! That thing’s horrendous, look at it.” He throws some acid at it, believing it to be not very dexterous. He is correct - its save is -3, so that is a fail. (Ahleqs, seeing this, warms up a Fireball - forgetting about the gas pockets Shanks warned us about. DM says he can make a Perception check as a free action to see if he smells gas. He rolls a 13; he doesn’t smell anything flammable and is very pleased about this.)

Kessler is up. She is reluctant to punch it, in spite of the potential to make it wobble like a jelly. Ahleqs suggests eating her way out if that happens. She opts for the crossbow instead, and hits it for 5 points of piercing damage. She reloads and fires again for another hit and 10 damage this time. She makes a hide attempt as a bonus action, but she’ll be doing it at disadvantage because she’s trying to hide in nothing. (Cue the Bumblebee gif again.) She rolls two tens and is not hidden. She decides she IS hidden, because she has her hands in front of her eyes. “Close enough.”

Melaina moves and makes a hide attempt, as she is on the other side of the cube now. Nat 20 for a 30 total, she is now in the ethereal plane. She shoots with Sharpshooter, rolling a 21, for 21 plus 13 damage. It wobbles like dropped jelly, and cracks start to form.

Like a blancmange when it goes bad? Well, blancmanges are MADE bad, they don’t GO bad, but yes, like that.

Brother Carl can’t do much. Does he have any paperwork he needs to catch up on? He needs to safeguard both his hit points anyway. He rolls bad on his DEX check to get out of the water and can’t manage it, so he sits down in the water like a toddler having a tantrum in a paddling pool. Not having enough movement to stand back up, his turn is over.

Matthew: “Poor Carl!”

The Cube moves to engulf Ahleqs and Brother Carl - no wait, we’ve missed Ahleqs in the order. Okay, it’s his turn. The cube moves politely back to allow him to go.

The roar comes again and we all immediately panic. Is the ripper approaching?

Ahleqs makes a DEX check to get out of the water on the opposite side to the cube - the same side we found the pile of bones and limbs. He rolls a 21. He scampers up like a gazelle and administers two Eldritch Blasts to the Cube, in short order. “Zap!” A 12 and a 17 for 4 damage total. “Yeah, he better wobble!” Does he sense that it fears him? (Probably not.)

Brother Charity gets a go. Does anyone need any making less poorly?

Us: “You, maybe?”

He slams a potion, regaining 16HP. He holds a healing spell in case something awful happens.

DM: “Okay…. Wheeee!” Oh no. ‘Wheeeeee’ is never a good sound to hear coming from a Dungeon Master.

The cube zooms forward and engulfs Tarragon and Brother Carl, but we both make our DEX saves. It throws a pseudopod at Tarragon but whiffs badly with a nat 1.

Tarragon has had enough; she Rages and hits it with her quarterstaff for 11 damage.

We can see lots of splits in the cube now; it looks in a bad way. Like a chewed Haribo. A sad sight to see stuck to a window in town. Gideon is up - with a little manoeuvring he can throw a Thunderwave at it without hitting Carl or Tarragon. It seems to have a high CON score though so it will likely make its save again… He decides to do an Aganazzar’s Scorcher instead. He stretches out his hands and a big flaming line flies out of them like a flame thrower and burns the shit out of the cube, and Gideon chuckles to himself.

“Engulf this!”

It fails its DEX save and takes 11 fire damage. Woohoo! Does he want to move? No, Gideon is no coward, he’s a stalwart Dwarf dammit.

The small folk are putting the bigjobs to shame today. Kessler gets the how-de-do-dis with her Firebolt. Hey! The bolt penetrates the cube and blows it apart from inside “because I love that kinda shit.”

Melaina is up - wait, what? I thought we did-dis?

There will be a Reason, Duncan is sure. Melaina is AFK so Matthew shouts to the kitchen to ask Sophie what she wants to do. She is cooking ribs. She can’t see what’s going on so she moves forward to attack the cube, not knowing it’s dead. and Joe asks her to show him the path she took. Oh no…

She stumbles into another gelatinous cube. She can make her DEX save, and glides right out of it on the other side to do a backflip and taking no damage. She gives it a stabby with her rapier with a ten, which hits for 7 piercing damage. She yells to let the rest of us know what’s happening around the corner.

Carl stands up and makes another attempt to get out of the water. Really focusing now… a 7. If he goes up to the plank the DM will let him make a STR check to climb up the plank. He rolls a 17! Yeahhhhhh.

It’s the second cube’s turn. Melaina must repeat her DEX save - Matthew will click it for her. a 24!

Brother Carl still gets an attack, so he swings with his mace for a natty 20! Crit table says “Bonk on the noggin. Max damage and roll the damage dice again.” And the mace dissolves…? No, it’s fine. Phew.

DM goes to get more wine, but Ahleqs is up next after that. Would he like to do some spells and shit? He doesn’t want to waste any slots though… Flesh ripper and all…

He will Eldritch Blast again. Zap! Just a hit, with a 20 and a 21 for 13 damage total. Nice.

Charity: “Carl, be careful!” With that, can he scooch past Tarragon? Good luck, she’s raging and all elbows, and will probably do an opportunity attack on him. He slides down the side of the canal instead and goes around her. He clambers back up - well he tries, but rolls a 9 on his DEX check. He goes through all his spells. “That won’t work… Nor that…” He opts in the end for Eldritch Blast and 12 damage total, insisting that it’s ‘divine energy’. Hmmm.

Tarragon rushes forward, still in her red mist, and smacks it with her quarterstaff for 9 more damage; she would move back out of the way to let everyone else get in, but it doesn’t occur to her so she doesn’t.

Gideon does a Chill Touch: “Hyahhh! Ohhhh…” He hits with an 11 for 3 damage. “I’m helping!”

Kessler shoots another Firebolt. 25 to hit and 12 fire damage “to old Blobby.” Kill it with fire!

Melaina backs up and hides, and shoots. She is literally the only competent one among us. 15 hits and 29 damage. Howdy Doody! “It implodes on itself like a nasty custard.”

We beat the dungeon! Yay!

DM: “Nope - not even close.” Aw beans.

Melaina moves forward and finds a loot chest. Too excited to check for traps, she tears it open to find a carved ivory lion with gems for eyes.

Brother Charity scoots around, avoiding Tarragon’s eye line. She growls at him as he goes by, but no-one hears that.

Gideon finds another chest and tries to kick it open but it just rocks back and forth. It doesn’t seem locked upon inspection, so he flips it open to find a blue gem and a sheet of parchment (first level spell scroll). He rolls a D6; a 3. It is a sorcerer spell. He has a bunch of spells so he offers it to Ahleqs.

Gideon rolls a d20 - he gets a 9. It is a scroll of Feather Fall. “Ah! That’s useful!” If he copies it into his book instead of casting it from the scroll, he can learn it. He’ll stuff it into a pocket. He checks on his flumph; it is safe in its pocket-aquarium.

Does Ahleqs want to interact with the chest he’s found? He’s seen others do it; he will try to remember what Melaina does after she says “I’ll check for traps”. He rolls a 17 and doesn’t find any. He can’t find the macro to roll for treasure at first; he gets it together and opens the chest to find 140sp.

Have we looted this part of the dungeon already - oh shit there’s some kind of slurping, gurgling growl. Melaina runs back to hide behind the pillar. We might have to deal with them bones, the ones blocking that pathway... 

Brother Charity sweeps dramatically down the stairs toward Tarragon and attempts an ode - Matthew plays the worst audio I’ve ever heard. It’s a very badly sung song, ending with a marriage proposal.

Tarragon: “Does 23 hit you?”

Charity: “23 hits the fuck out of me.” She does 9 bludgeoning damage with her quarterstaff.

DM: “So you were actually singing that?” Ohhhhh nooooo. This is DM speak for ‘good luck fuckers, the Flesh Ripper heard you.’

We all immediately shit ourselves, but nothing happens straight away. We are all still digging in the bones. Kessler moves forward to Goblin Smash the pile; not the most stealthy tactic. We persuade her to wait a moment before going ham on the bones.

Melaina thinks she could squeeze through the little gap at the top. She and Tarragon make Stealth and Dex checks while Brother Carl helps Brother Charity up; Charity takes a health potion.

Melaina can’t quite get through the hole, but Tarragon scrambles up and through it - not quietly, however.

She finds the Flesh Ripper.

Tarragon presses herself into the wall on the other side - she makes a stealth check with Guidance and manages to keep out of its sight. (Notes are a little spotty from here as I am panicking.)

Tarragon makes a Minor Illusion of the thing on the other side of the pile of bones so the others can see it.

Ed: “Put that away! Put that back in the monster deck!”

Ahleqs casts Mage Hand to cover his eyes, only then realising that its translucent.

Can we fit the armoured goblin through the gnome hole?

Charity asks if he can cast a proprietary spell; Gideon wants to know how many musical numbers are involved. None, his solar plexus has learned his lesson.

He scrambles up and tries to follow his true love through the hole. He’s doing great stealth, but his DEX isn’t going so well so he is struggling to scramble through. He manages eventually, and joins Tarragon on the other side.

Tarragon whisper-apologises for hitting him but says she doesn’t want to marry him. He presses his finger to his own lips, and then to hers; she bites him. He rolls CON to keep from yelping with pain but fails, and we roll initiative.

FUCKkkkkkkkckKKKKCKKkk!

Joe mutes his microphone so he can laugh, and the Flesh Ripper descends upon Charity and Tarragon.

It does something called Whirlwind of Claws which forces a DC19 DEX save. (DC! 19!!!) Tarragon and Charity both fail and take 44 - that’s FORTY FOUR - points of damage. The attack pushes the rest of the bones out of the tunnel, letting the others in behind us thankfully. Charity also does some cold damage to the thing when it hits him.

They all roll initiative and join us.

Joe: I will say one word to you before we start: Primara. (The unicorn!)

Gideon goes first and busts out the big guns. He can cast Fireball at the thing’s head and miss us, because it’s so huge. He also thinks the stonework will take a blast, so he goes for it. It fails its DEX save, ha HA! That means that it takes 27 fire damage and anything flammable in the area also bursts into flame. “Take that, you big monstrosity - die!”

Can it see those of us on the other side of the little tunnel? Yes, because it’s crouching down and looking for us.

Ahleqs also does a Fireball.

Tarragon, panicked, Rages and goes Brown bear.

Melaina shoots with her bow, with a 22 which hits. She does 28 damage. How de do dis??? Please??? She moves back into the water.

Kessler runs at the thing and smashes it with her Thunder Gauntlets. Dirty 20 to hit, for 11 Thunder damage. She uses Fury of the Small to do another 6 damage on top, and goes for another punch. 22 to hit, and ten more Thunder damage. Good opening salvo. As she’s using Guardian armour, she can force disadvantage on the Flesh Ripper if it attacks anyone other than her for the next round. Noice.

Brother Carl is up. He prepares himself for another round of combat in a water trough, as Matthew forgot about him. He makes a DEX check to climb up the side and rolls an 8 which is a failure. He uses the rest of his movement to stand up and look sheepish.

Brother Charity, and the Flesh Ripper is on deck. “I think we may have got off on the wrong foot here…” he casts Magical Glove, aka Shillehglghlbhgllehhlahh. 23 hits, and he does 12 bludgeoning and 2 fire damage. Fire damage? Huh.

The flesh ripper makes a multi attack which gives it FIVE ATTACKS. It misses Kessler with its bite and goes for a slash with its claws, so she reaction-shields. It claws again and misses, and goes for another which also misses.

It does Whirlwind of Claws again. Charity and Kessler go down, and Tarragon is almost re-gnomed.

Gideon calls us back, hoping that those of us still up can hear him. He then does a Ray of Enfeeblement on the Flesh Ripper. He misses. “BALLLLLLLS!”

Kessler, raising her unconscious head for a moment for a spot of sass: “I really dislike that dwarf.”

Gideon: “At least I’ll be alive next round.”

(Savage. lol.)

Ahleqs calls Primara, who rolls initiative to join us.

That was his bonus action. He apologises to Primara for getting her killed, then does another fireball. It makes its save and Ahleqs rolls low on the damage, so it only takes 8 fire. Ahleqs, to himself: “Do I run away?”

Primara moves forward to do a Healing Touch on Brother Charity, who regains consciousness and 11HP. He assumes it was something he did. She then casts Shimmering Shield on Tarragon, which gives her a +2 bonus to her AC.

Bear-Tarragon makes a multi attack and hits twice; the thing is starting to look ‘mildly wounded’. She’ll take it.

Melaina tries Hideous Laughter. “Bazinga.” It fails its save, yay! It falls prone, and incapacitated. We have a choice here - we can cut and run or marmalise it. She rolls to see which way it falls - it collapses on bear-Tarragon, who is trapped underneath it and takes 9 damage.

Kessler makes a death save and rolls a 7 - a fail.

Brother Carl tries to get out of the stuff again. (Maybe he and Popcorn should babysit each other.) He rolls a 4.

Brother Charity is up next. He takes a risk and uses a bonus action to use his healer’s kit. He has to roll 13 or more - and gets a 24. (He injects himself with adrenaline. “I’M ALIVE!!!!”) He Cure Woundses the living shit out of Kessler with a fourteen and shlblgheghldsdllghhs the Flesh Ripper with a Nat 20! Stunning blow - Max damage and the target must make a DC14 Con save or be stunned. (If this fails, it’s back on its feet as it has saved from the Hideous Laughter now.) He lucks out - the Ripper rolls a 7 and is stunned!

It misses its turn as it’s stunned. (It automatically fails saving throws now.) Boom for big fireball damage from Gideon - but no, it only takes 21 fire damage.

Ahleqs is up. “Okay. Um. Do I have to climb out?” (of the bone rubble). Yes, a DC10 DEX check to get out. “It’ll be fine, it’ll be fine, check this out. Yay! Just enough.” He rolls an 11. He stands behind Charity and casts Burning Hands at level 2 for 14 fire damage. It looks a bit bloodied. Huh. Ahleqs gets a nosebleed and takes a few steps back.

Primara is up next. She comes up to Tarragon and does a Healing Touch to give her 11 HP back, and then Shimmering Shield again, and darts back out of range. Me, OOC: “Thank you, I say in Bear.”

Bear-Tarragon does another multi-attack - one hits the other misses, doing ten damage total.

Melaina takes aim with her bow, with encouragement from Goose. 28 damage! (Sophie, OOC: “That’s actually pretty disappointing damage.”)

Kessler is next. She gets up and clicks her neck. She goes right for the groin with her Thunder Gauntlets, 18 to hit and 6 Thunder damage. The second below the belt shot is only a ten so it misses. She dodges around it and disengages as her bonus action.

What does Brother Carl want to do? Splash around in the water? Play with a rubber duck? He decides to try the plank to help himself get out and rolls an 8 STR check. He punches the wall. DM is feeling charitable; he can make a DEX check as well if he likes. Nat 20! He basically levitates out of the water. Ahleqs holds up a little placard with ‘9.5’ on it.

Brother Charity is up. “Ohhhhh balls.” He sighs and does shillebblhlghsfflgjhheh. “Twelvesies?” That’s a miss. “I gently pat him on the shin.” Bonus action - healing potion. Wise. He regains 5HP.

It does the whirlwind again - Tarragon is gnomed and knocked out, and Charity also goes down. The flesh ripper crawls over him to get to the others.

It then hits Brother Carl with a 30 and a 19 - 49 slashing damage total. He goes down, no duh.

Gideon is next, and he casts Haste on Melaina. More speed, AC, DEX and attacks. Woo! He’s basically turned her into a superhero.

Kessler: “Or a super villain.”

Melaina hurriedly: “Shut up…”

Ahleqs is up. He doesn’t need to be in melee with it so that Melaina gets advantage, right? Cool, then he will cast Misty Step and not needlessly throw his life away. For his action he can do a cantrip, so he does Eldritch Blast and uses ToC. “Is that a good idea…?”

Chorus of “Do it do it do it.” Big money, no whammies. Two hits! 7 damage, plus 3. ten total, and he rolls on the old chart. 51: A spectral shield hovers near him for the next minute, granting him +2 to AC and immunity to Magic Missile attacks. He’s protected from Kessler if she goes more rogue than usual, sweet.

Primara moves forward to gently nuzzle Tarragon and brings her back with 11HP. She gives her a quizzical look, and says “teleport?” in her head in Elvish. Tarragon is good in here, but thanks. She politely declines and prepares to do some more battering.

She casts Greater Shilldhbbblhlshggewehh, and hits with a 21 for just 9 damage. “What? This spell is BALLS!” (In addition to the ‘DM win’ button, Joe apparently has an ‘offer false hope’ button.)

Melaina rolls to hide with a 23. “Hidden?” Yes. She shoots twice; thanks Ed. She misses twice. “Sorry, Gideon, I’m wasting my gift.”

Kessler is going to - let’s see… Magic Missile…? Would need to cast it at level 2… That would be four darts… (Ahleqs from the back, sounding pleased: “I’m immune to that.”) No, she thinks her crossbow will do more damage, so she takes aim once at each head. the first misses, as does the second. Bonus action she drinks a GHP.

(Matthew OOC: “Can I just point out that Magic Missile would have hit four times.”)

Brother Carl makes a death save, and passes with a 14. Charity rolls a death save and passes. He gets HP back… It’s a thing he can do. Hmmm.

He is still under the flesh ripper though. He casts Vampiric Touch on it. Can’t miss, as his face is pressed against its undercarriage. Can he have ADV on the roll? Yeah, okay. Oh, apparently he can miss. 

Tarragon and Kessler see, to our horror, the wounds on the hide of the thing start to knit back together.

Tarragon: “Ah, fuck.”

Kessler: “That ain’t right.”

It turns around and does the whirlwind thing again; Tarragon goes down. It crawls over her and attempts to eat Primara. It attacks with a 22 and does 14 slashing damage, then attacks again with a 30 for 19 damage. Then attacks AGAIN with a 22. Then it bites her with a 23 and does 10 piercing and 2 poison damage.

Primara casts Heal Self - phew! Then she teleports herself and Tarragon out of there. Gideon’s turn.

He can see the flesh ripper’s weird grey bits, so he has line of sight. He doesn’t have an awful lot of time for this creature so he burns it again, hoping that the burning prevents the regeneration. DEX save! He is running out of spell slots though. It rolls a 19 - “Ah, that bitch!” It’s still engulfed in flame though. He might have a scroll here somewhere… He has invincib - no, invisibility. (Invincibility would be pretty fuckin’ useful.)

Gideon may cut and run, it depends how the rest of this goes. For the time being, he will hang around. How generous. “Use fire!” he directs us all.  

Ahleqs spends some time calculating distance before casting Eldritch Blast with ToC. He rolls a dirty 20 and a 17 for 8 total Force damage. “That’s a small number!” Creatures have Disadvantage on saves versus his next spell for a minute. That’s good.

Now comes the sad moment where we see the unicorn removed from the turn order, probably. She has a legendary action and uses it to heal herself. So not dead just yet, but she can’t do much else this turn.

Tarragon passes a death save. “Yeah. Winning at life.”

Melaina has been watching the ripper with her beady little peepers. (Ed returns from somewhere. “Is it dead? Did we win?”) Can she hide, on the basis that she can see it but it can’t see her? Yes, so she rolls a 27. She is hidden! She shoots with a 21 for 27 damage, and takes her second attack. She risks using Sharpshooter again, but misses. She has extra movement from the Haste spell, so she uses it to step over Brother Carl’s body and move a little further away from the Flesh Ripper. 

Kessler rolls a death save - an 18.

Brother Carl rolls a death save - a 2, so a fail.

Charity rolls a death save - a 5, so another fail.

The Flesh Ripper takes a turn, and uses it to do whirlwind of claws against Ahleqs and Gideon. Even if he passes, Ahleqs is going down. Oh, also Melaina gets to roll versus this attack as well, Joe says. Gideon, predictably, fails the save. Less predictably, he is still up after the attack. Melaina makes the save so she only takes 22 damage. Only! No wait - she has Evasion. No wait, no she doesn’t, we’re only level 6. She has Uncanny Dodge though, so she takes quarter damage, so 11. “No thank you! Not today!”

It’s still got four attacks. Aw, fuck.

It bites Gideon. “That modifier is monstrous, I hate it.” He goes down. “I should have run away, no!!! Oh, what a horrible place to die!”

Melaina is the last one standing.We could legitimately be looking at a TPK, here...

At least our bones will all lay together.

The only thing Primara can do is resurrect us if we die, and she can only do that once; she darts away and tries to hide so she can emerge and save us if we actually die.

Gideon rolls a death save (ten - pass), as does Ahleqs (also a ten). Then Tarragon (18).

Wait - Gideon’s Haste spell in Concentration. When he goes down it drops. Ed, reading the spell description for the first time - “oh no! Oh fuck! Ohhhh…” In his defence, he wasn’t expecting to get mullered in one round.

Melaina can’t move on her turn now, or take actions until her next turn because the Haste has dropped. Can she go limp and slide into the water like an octopus? The DM - very generously - lets her take a bonus action to hide. “I can feel a natural 1 coming on…” She rolls a 14 total - the thing’s Passive Perception is 12, so she is hidden. Skin of our knickers.

Kessler makes her next death save with a 17. The Brothers also make saves; Carl rolls an 8 and Charity a 19. Ahleqs rolls a death save and gets a 9 - a fail.

Ed, OOC: “We can salvage this!”

Primara has a go at Entangling the flesh ripper; she thinks it’s probably pointless to try, but it rolls a 13 to save versus the spell and is entangled! Yay!

Tarragon fails her next death save. Melaina is up. Can she get past it? She can dash as a bonus action… She shoots at it while hidden first, using her ‘everything-I’ve-got’ button. 18 hits, but she only gets 27 damage. DM tells us not to run - we are SO CLOSE to killing it. Melaina runs to join Primara, whose space she can share because the unicorn is Tiny.

Kessler makes her death save and stabilises. Brother Carl rolls a nat 1 - and dies.

Fuck.

Brother Charity rolls a success on his save with an 11. The Flesh Ripper tries to break free of the Entangle - and fails! Yay! It regenerates some HP though.

Gideon makes a death save - and gets a 19. He’s closer to being alive than dead - but in a death save sense, not a general sense. Ahleqs rolls a ten - another success.

Ed realises he missed a death save, and rolls it now - he succeeds, and Gideon stabilises. Yay! That was a good decision.

Primara is up. Joe checks some spells… She can’t do anything to help so she stays put. Tarragon fails a death save. (Next turn, either way...) 

Melaina sneaks to the door and hides, and shoots - but misses with a ten. She recedes back like a turtle into her cave.

Kessler stabilises.

Brother Carl is dead, so Brother Charity rolls a save and he stabilises too. Phew.

Flesh Ripper goes next, and tries to break free but is still Entangled! Here’s our Hail Mary.

Ahleqs rolls another death save - and succeeds, stabilising. “In a number of hours, I can crawl my horrid carcass…”

Tarragon fails her last death save - and dies.

Fuck.

Melaina rolls a 13 to hide. She shoots with an 18 and hits, for 28 damage - how-de-do-dis!

The arrow goes into one of its’ horrible heads, which looks at the other head and goes “what the fuck!” And it dies. Joe plays some horrible audio. Final Fantasy Fanfare!

Primara comes out and says she has the power to bring one of us back - but only one. They have to choose - Brother Carl, or Tarragon.

Gideon thinks it’s not a hard choice. Melaina doesn’t want to say it too quickly.

They wait an hour while Primara goes about raising Tarragon from the dead, by casting the spell Raise Dead. Some of the others regain consciousness over the course of the hour. There are no more monsters around, so we can take a rest if we want.

We very much do want.

On the plus side, we can level up - yay!

[princessdejamars]

Q&A with...

Originally created by xFroggiiiI 

Was tagged by @twistedsimblr 

Rules: 1. Pick one of your OCs. 2. Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your OCs. 3. Tag at least four people to do this meme! 

OC Chosen: Zoey Andrews, age 15

1.    What is your name?   Zoey Rainbow Andrews

 2.    Do you know why you were named that?   My dad says it’s because my mom smoked too much pot as a teenager. Mom says dad’s just being a smart ass

 3.    Are you single or taken? **BIG SIGH** I’m only 15 and dad says I’m not allowed to date until I’m older….like thirty something….so I guess you’d say I’m single…..

 4.    Have any abilities or powers?  I see dead people….ghosts and spirits….they like just show up asking for help…with their unfinished business….I can see a person’s aura…and sometimes their soul….the truth of who they are….I don’t get why they want to pretend to be something or someone they aren’t just to please others….

 5.    Stop being a Mary Sue.   Who’s Mary Sue….does she have special gifts too? I’d love to talk to her…..most people don’t like to talk about their abilities….when I talk to people about following their heart…their bliss….to follow the Universal Plan or the contract they signed with the Creator before they’re born…..they look at me ….kind of like you’re looking at me right now….would you like me to read your soul contract?

 6.    ***CLEARS THROAT***Uhmm….No…It’s fine, let’s move on. What is your eye color?  They’re violet blue….they change colors with my mood….from dark purple to really light bluish violet….Nick says they remind him of Forget-me-Nots…..those are flowers….he brought me some once….Nick’s like ….well he sort of appointed himself my guardian angel……ever since I was like a kid….and the sea monster tried to drown me…..Nick saved me….and we went to Heaven together….but the Angel Queen said it wasn’t our time yet….we still had work to do on Earth ....

 7.    I see…How about hair color?   Well as you can see…It’s like a dark brown reddish color….but Cheyenne McKenna….she’s my best friend….kind of a diva….but I love her anyway….she says we need to shake things up now that we’re starting high school this fall….so we’re gonna shave it on one side….and she’s gonna dye her’s turquoise and I’m dying my hot pink….

 8.    Okay…Have any family members?    Just me and my mom and dad…When I was a kid….I bugged them for sisters and brothers….but they just said that wasn’t part of their deal with God…..so I got a kitten instead but when Nick lost his mom and dad….I gave her to him so he wouldn’t be so sad and lonely living out at the Lighthouse all by himself….Her name is Peaches….she’s a really good mouser…..

 9.    So, how about pets?   Uhmm….not to be rude….but kinda already answered that question…..I’m not very good with pets….they kinda “die” on me…..we have a really cool pet cemetery out back….would you like to see it…..I had a Goldfish named Spot…..he liked to do somersaults and jumped right out of his bowl and Peaches slapped him with her paw….he didn’t like that very much…it shocked him so much he had a heart attack and died…..mom wanted to flush him down the toilet…..but I told her we had to have a real funeral for him so he could go the Heaven and be with the other fish…..then there was my frog, I called him Prince Charming….I thought he might be a cursed prince….but when I kissed him he hopped away….and got hit by a car…..so we had another funeral…..

 10.  That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don’t like.  Anchovies on pizza….I mean seriously who ever thought about putting little dead fish carcasses on perfectly good food like pizza is beyond me….

 11.  Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? I like to take pictures….In the summer I work for my dad and Nick taking pictures for the tourists who rent the ships to take tours of the islands….we taking them diving to see the old wrecked pirate ships….sometimes we even find treasure….like cool shells……and colored glass….I even met a mermaid one time.....but she was shy and wouldn’t let me take her picture

 12.  Have you ever hurt anyone in any way before?    Well….I smacked Eddy Burns when he pinned me down on the playground and tried to kiss me when I was seven….gave him a black eye and bloody lip…..and when he came back to school the next day he had two missing teeth too…..I didn’t do that….Nick did….after he found out what Eddy tried to do….Nick beat him up….

 13.  Ever…killed anyone before?  Of course not….the number one Law of Heaven…..All life is sacred…. not to mention all the bad karma that would bring...I’d rather not get recycled into a bug...thank you very much...

 14.  What kind of animal are you?   Like in spirit….I think I am a fish….an angel fish….colored like the rainbow…..Nick says that’s the color of my aura….my soul….like a rainbow…he calls me that sometimes....and then looks at me with those cool blue eyes of his and my stomach gets this weird feeling like butterflies.....but don’t tell him .... I said that....he’s already way to arrogant as it is....

 15.  Name your worst habits.  Daydreaming instead of listening to the teacher in class….forgetting to do my homework and projects….biting my fingernails…..hiding dirty dishes and clothes under my bed…..

 16.  Do you look up to anyone at all?   My dad is my hero….and Nick too…even though he gets really cocky and drinks too much….and smokes too much….and has way too many girlfriends…..dad’s cool though….he listens to me ….. like really listens and talks to me….

 17.  Are you gay, straight, or bisexual?    OMG…seriously…like mom and dad sat me down for the SEX TALK…..like god that was so embarrassing…..like yuck…..I mean I like boys….I have this huge crush on my best friend Dane…..but he’s like more into soccer than he is girls…gosh I doubt he’s even noticed I’m growing a nice set of boobs…….plus my best friend Cheyenne  already called dibs on him…

18.  Do you go to school?  Oh yes….I will be starting high school this fall….Cheyenne says we will rule the school and be the head bitches….like I said …she can be a bit of a drama queen….

 19.  Ever want to marry and have kids one day?  Of course…it’s in my Soul Contract with God…..but it’s going to be a long complicated journey for us both before that will happen…..

 20.  Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?   I don’t think so….don’t you have to be like famous to have fans?

 21.  What are you most afraid of?  Losing people I love….having to say goodbye and let them go home to Heaven when the time comes…..

 22.  What do you usually wear?  I like to be comfortable….Tee-shirts and jeans ….in the summer when it’s hot…I wear shorts…and tank tops …..I like wearing this jacket sometimes…I kind of stole from Nick’s closet….I like how it smells like the ocean….Nick smells like the ocean….and smoke….not like tobacco…..even though he smokes like a chimney….more like the scent of wood burning…cedar…and hickory wood…..

23.  What’s one food that tempts you?   Chocolate and toffee and Peanut Butter….

 24.  Am I annoying you?  Oh no….not at all…this is kind of been…..interesting…..

25.  Well, it’s still not over!   Cool beans….so what else would you like to know about me….

26.  What class are you (low class, middle class, high class)?  Hmm…well I don’t believe in the class structure because we are all created equal….under the eyes of our Creator even if we do look different …sound different….see life from a different perspective…..dad says as long as we have a roof over our head….and food on the table….we are all blessed and if we see or know of someone who does not have that…we share what we have….

27.  How many friends do you have?  Oh gosh…let’s see…..Nick…he’s like my best friend of all even if he’s like a pain in my butt most of the time…..then there’s Cheyenne….and Dane….and Kandi Hart….and Annie O’Hara….and Nora Burns….she’s Eddy’s sister…the one I told you tried to steal a kiss….and Josh and Jon Sullivan….they’re twins…and since they dress alike and look alike….hardly anyone can tell them apart….I can though….they have different color auras….

28.  What are your thought on pie?   I’d rather have cake…..chocolate cake with peanut butter frosting and bits of toffee baked in and sprinkled over the frosting….with chocolate ice cream…..yummy….

 29.  Favorite drink?  English Toffee Cappuccino

 30.  What’s your favorite place?   The Lighthouse where Nick lives…I love to go all the way to the top and sit and watch the clouds in the sky and the waves coming in from the ocean….

 31.  Are you interested in anyone?  Well sure… everyone is interesting…..OHHHH….like you mean…interested in….like having a crush on Dane….or Nick….oh…you’re not going to tell Nick….right…I mean he already has a whole harem of chicks following him around…..I’m definitely not going to join that group of airheads…..

32.  That was a stupid question…  Right…I mean Dane will probably end up with Chy….she’s always seems to get what she wants…..and Nick….well like I said….not going there…..he’s way too handsome and arrogant for his own good….plus he’s got no ambition beyond working for my dad….and partying his butt off….smoking….drinking….and sleeping with his many girlfriends of which I don’t intend to become one…..

 33.  Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?  The Ocean…..I live in the Jewel Keys….the most beautiful islands in the South Pacific…..

 34.  What’s your type?  Type of what?

 35.  Any fetishes?

 I think I have to look that word up….I remember something in the SEX TALK about that but….I kind of zoned out on mom and dad during that…..especially after they brought out the picture book…I think they called it the Caramel Suitor...that made me hungry....so I started munching on some Cracker Jacks... I stashed under my pillow

36.  Seme or Uke?  ***Blank stare….blinking***…Uhmmm….I don’t know what that means either ????

37.  Camping or indoors?  Camping on the beach with a fire pit….roasting marshmallows on graham crackers with chocolate….mmmmmm

tagging @gaiahypothesims @nernershuman @dandylion240 @josiesimblr

[a-muscle-the-size-of-your-fist]

Mun's in a bad way mentally right now so just send for any ship you like! If it's a ship I have on the blog, great, if not, also great. I just want to do something to take my mind off of All Of This Bullshit.

Send Me ꨄ And I Will Tell You:

If you cannot see the emoji, please send "pumpkin heart!"

Who is ready for Halloween in July:

Who buys the most candy:

Who eats most of the candy before the trick-or-treaters get there:

Who wants to dress up:

Who has a Halloween playlist:

Who prefers vampires to werewolves:

Who prefers ghosts to mummies:

Who instigates a horror movie marathon:

If one of them would propose on Halloween:

[draculaurennn]

#squad for jun, padrika and lucid

dfghjk u always ask me bless y wyoc ask meme . — jun, padrika, and lucid  #squad: who's friends with who? what are the squad dynamics like? 

idk if this means are they friends w each other or friends w other ppl so ???? ill just break down both !!jun . —friends w padrika and lucid? probably not. lucid and jun have nothing in common, and lucid’s apprehension of literally anything electronic means jun would... do that weird, toxic association thing where she goes “that means you don’t like ME EITHER.” lucid’s really good and level, so i know she’d take that sort of accusation in stride, but they wouldn’t be friends at all. lucid also doesn’t have any interest in drama and childish attitudes, so she wouldn’t be willing to be around jun for very long. padrika’s more tolerable for jun, but she’s pretty, tan, thin, and athletic, and she may be dumber than a box of rocks, but i think jun would feel pretty threatened by her. which is hysterical tbh, bc their bi energy is off the charts and pad would probably actually adore jun. actual friends? jesse, lux, genji, & sombra. sombra was her first friend. they met in illegal circuits, and they bonded. sombra’s chaotic energy and tendency to play a double field means jun feels a weirdly genuine trust towards her. genji’s kind of the same for her; she has no real investment in him romantically, but he has her back at work, and that’s how he grew on her so quickly. lux is jun’s BEST friend. she didn’t like her for about half an hour, and then suddenly she was spilling her guts to her. lux makes jun feel safe, and liked, and she doesn’t ever feel like lux is lying to her. everything about her is genuine, and watching lux brighten up other ppls’ lives and take her problems in stride makes jun want to do the same. or at least try. jesse is her OTHER best friend, and love of her life. and she made it really hard for them, because he’s so damn genuine and easy going, that no matter how much she pushed against him in some weird, unkind test, he just took everything and gave her the respect she needed. he’s sunny, like lux, which is good, because jun is a gross little mushroom who really needs some sun in her life. squad dynamics! jun’s the shitty sister that doesn’t know when to quit being mean until someone’s feelings are hurt. she’s the one who tells people that no one gets to make jesse/lux/genji cry BUT her. her hot temper makes her quick to stand up for her friends, even if she’s also going to ream them verbally for being stupid. she can’t cook for you, she can’t really patch up an injury, and she wouldn’t really want to, anyway... but she’ll drag anyone’s carcass through the mud to get them out of a bad situation alive. her only mode of nice is mean, because she doesn’t seem to know how to be vulnerable, but she’ll literally die in battle for any one of them if it gets them out safe.  padrika . —friends w jun and lucid? padrika would likely be the “middle man” for these two. pad’s pretty chill; she has a short fuse, sometimes, but on a drama scale of one to ten (zero being no drama, ten being drama all the time), she’s like a 5. padrika’s sporty, but relaxed, stupid, but supportive and willing to learn. her valuable assets lie in her weird misdirection - she has no real goals, so nothing is too daunting to try once. she’d get along well with lucid because lucid would be the balance to reign her in; likewise, she’d always be willing to listen to whatever lucid had to say. she’d get along well with jun because jun’s technical skills are something padrika can admire, and padrika always has questions about anything. plus, they can horse around together.  actual friends? sera, ciri, jaskier, & geralt. sera is her closest friend. padrika considers a lot of people close, but sera is someone she can understand at a basic level. they’re monsters, after all, and no one lets them forget that. it means that every weird feeling padrika’s ever had, that she does and doesn’t know how to string together in a sentence, she knows she can tell to sera, and she hope’s it’s the same in return. sera’s life seems to have a lot more purpose and goal-orientation than padrika’s, so she’s fixated on helping the vampire find what she needs to know. ciri she adores about as much. she’s a person she can spar with, joke with, talk honestly with, get into trouble with... bully geralt with. it’s nice. it’s nice to feel like a person around someone. padrika didn’t really know what that was until sera and ciri. jaskier’s fucking trouble, and she loves that. his bardic nature works well with padrika’s innate need to sing, but his penchant for getting into trouble is not something she shares with him (anymore). still, he’s fun to horse around with and be noisy with. he’s never boring, so she’s never bored. padrika adores geralt. she doesn’t like to tell him; she’s no good at sentiments and she likes to tell him not to let things go to his head. but he’s strangely alone for a person so surrounded by love and support, and padrika doesn’t... get that. that wasn’t a thing she grew up with, so support is all she can really give him. even if she’s bad at it, and even if it’s just her standing around, or punching things. she knows she’s no beautiful, fabulous sorceress with destiny tied to her name. she also knows she’d wait forever from below the waters, if she had to. it’s not something she likes to think about, though. squad dynamics! padrika’s your drunk bi sorority sister who only joined because of liquor and scholarship money. she’s not responsible, calm, or smart enough to be your mom, but if you need bail money at 3am and to ask her not to tell mom, she’s your girl. padrika’s dedication is steadfast, and she knows she doesn’t bring much to the table, and she’s not really important like others, but she’ll give everything she possibly can. she’s hard to shake off, and she takes a lot of shit, even if sometimes she does lose her temper for it. her honesty is one of the only good things about her, though. she’s there, and she will be. lucid . —friends w jun and padrika? yes and no! there’s not a snowball’s chance in hell that lucid would be able to handle jun’s attitude for more than a dose of minutes. lucid feels there’s a strong difference between sulking and being a baby (she should know), and people who only work to perseverate their misery and not try to be open or make anything better are people she just cannot work with. jun’s bratty, petty, and fabricates things people didn’t say; lucid has zero patience for that kind of attitude. she’d do well enough with padrika, though. she’s much less aggressive, but she doesn’t mind closing down a bar with someone, and she doesn’t mind talking miserable, magic binding curses.  actual friends? ria, vincent, tifa, & zack. her relationship with illyria is strange, because much like zack, it’s hinged on a motherly mindset first, and a friend mindset second. she’s protective and directive, and her first instinct is to nurture and correct before it is simply to just be a friend. it can make her answers redundant or scolding, at times, but it’s simply because she’s trying to keep everyone alive and in one piece. it takes a lot for her to put them back together. tifa’s easy and kind to speak to. they just sort of meshed, two mom friends bonding over... being mom friends. they can speak honestly and without embarassment, something lucid wasn’t used to (and sometimes still isn’t) outside of the bar and outside of three or four drinks. it’s also nice to have a friend who she knows she can speak too without meddling... they can just talk, and it’s nice to get problems out that way.lucid hated vincent when they first started working together. she thought he was rude and sulky, and that kind of attitude isn’t something she likes to be around. people who only choose to wallow... especially over one thing? it’s ridiculous, and a waste of energy. but, it turned out there were more layers than she expected there, and more similarities than differences. he’s the other side of her coin, her absolute everything, and she’d not let a day go by without him if she could avoid it. the only hard question is which one’s undying devotion is going to get which one killed for the other first. lucid likes to think that won’t happen. squad dynamics! lucid’s your kitchen witch wine mom. in the chaos of zack running headlong into fights, illyria blowing up for science, and vincent falling apart from the inside-out or outside-in (depending), lucid’s there to keep picking up the pieces with pieces of her. she’s sturdy, and she’ll listen to anything anyone has to say, but she won’t accept or tolerate useless, miserable behaviour, and she’ll let them know it. thankfully, liquor is always there to help her get through the madness and cool off. and if not liquor, then she has vincent, too. 

[dcbicki]

I'm sorry to double dip but could you do danxamy for 14 and Jonsa for 6? Those are my two fave pairings!

I did the Dan/Amy one, but (if you’re still interested) could you send me a different message for the J/S one - it makes things easier to post? Also, I love how this was supposed to be a ‘few short paragraphs’ meme but I went over 3k words with this… Enjoy! :)

14. Things you said after you kissed me | Post-s6, in which Amy is ready to give birth, and Dan’s feelings are semi-ready to express themselves.

-

“If I find even one picture of this on that phone, you’re a dead man.”

“Ah, come on, Amy,” He starts, grins - that prick! - and then he’s scrolling through what she can only guess is a new photo album on his fucking iPhone. “Don’t you wanna have something memorable to show people, to commemorate this joyous occasion?”

She can’t tell if he’s fucking with her, or if this is actually all just a part of his stupid fucking plan.

“I think the probable sociopath I’m squeezing out of my fucking vagina is gonna be enough of a souvenir, thanks.” Her teeth grit and she’s frowning, reaching for something to hold onto other than the railing of the hospital bed.

She’ll commemorate this joyous occasion by chopping his balls off and force-feeding them to him through a tube. That sounds like a pretty solid revenge scheme right now.

“Dan! Can you just put the fucking phone down and get me some ice chips? For fuck’s sake.”

Amy doesn’t notice the two cups already on the side, chips melting. So, he just smiles, picks one up and hands it to her. There, hold that.

She doesn’t though – instead she finds herself grasping at his shirt, knuckles whiter than usual, face a pretty picture of sheer agony, “You’re gonna pay for this, you dick.”

“So you’ve said.” He’s rolling his eyes, and he laughs (because he’s not the one forcing an infant through his genitals) like the asshole she knows him to be.

And then he smirks, because he’s Dan, because he can, “You can only kill me so many times, you know?” The threat count is probably nearing the two hundred mark at this point.

Apparently, within the next couple hours, she’s castrating him with children’s craft scissors, gauging his eyes out with bendy plastic spoons, ripping his hair right from his scalp with just her bare hands, carving out his shrivelled up black heart and proceeding to feed his carcass to a pack of wild dogs. Oh, and she’s gonna feed him his ballsack through a fucking tube. Whether that’s pre or post heart failure, he isn’t sure.

Sure thing, Ames.

“I still get to torture you beforehand.”

“True. But you know I’d just consider that brutal foreplay.”

“Oh, fuck off.” She’d let go of his shirt sometime in the past minute, and her palm is wrapped so tightly around the frame she’s sure, he’s sure it will snap. Fuck, it’ll probably shatter.

Dan looks over at her then, (attempts to) run a hand through over-gelled hair, phone finally shoved inside his back pocket, “D'you want me to leave? I can just wait in the hall. I mean, I’ve got some calls to make and-”

Yeah, Dan, you’re not good with hospitals or empathy, I know.

“You’re staying right here.” Her blue eyes are like frozen blocks of ice, and her lips draw thin, cheeks puffing as her face flushes, neck tenses. “You’re gonna stand there, and only there, and you’re gonna hold my fucking hand like the nice man your mom thinks she raised.”

He nods, complies, shuffles forward so he’s leaning over the side of the railing. Even when she’s sat and he’s slouched, he still towers over her, still doesn’t loom. What kinda bullshit-

“Okay.” Dan sighs, adds, “Your mom’s outside, by the way.” As though that will get her to change her mind.

Oh, yes, Dan. Yes! Go get my mom, and you can wait in the hall with fucking Gary! That’ll make you happy, won’t it? Go!

“Well, then, that’s where she’ll stay.” She huffs out, eyes closed since he agreed to stay. Her head’s thrown back, blonde hair askew, face pink, lips plump. God, he wants to fucking straighten her hair. She isn’t her.

“Really?” He frowns anyway, confusion clear across his face, “Don’t you want some other woman here? I thought that was like a… thing.” His nose crinkles, “What about your sister?”

He doesn’t quite understand why she wants him here, especially with her mother right outside and she’s always seemed closer to her than anybody else in her family. Hell, Gary’s probably better suited for this kind of thing than he is - he’s into all that feminine crap, right? And he’s just-

Well, he wasn’t even all that great when they went for checkups. He just sat there in the chair and smugly grinned like an asshole whenever the doctor pointed at the screen, at the bean-sized, peanut-sized, melon-sized spawn of his that Amy was incubating.

Come to think of it, he’s not even sure he’s ready for the little bugger to be born yet. Then again, him not ready being ready isn’t the worst thing. Amy’s the one having to do all the work.

Push, scream, push, push, scream, cry, push, sweat, cry, sweat, scream.

Hopefully, she doesn’t die. Hopefully, she won’t leave him alone with a newborn. That would be some serious fucking divine retribution right there. Dan, you take this. You deal with it. Have fun, fucker.

“That’s not a fucking thing, and if you ever fucking bring up Sophie again, I swear to God I will have you murdered in your sleep.”

He’s brought back then, all wide-eyed and lost-looking.

With a sigh, he concedes. He is the father. (Wow, that’s fucking weird.) He’s the one who did this to her, with her. He’s the one who fucked her, and subsequently fucked them both over.

“Nah, you wouldn’t.” He glances down at Amy, raises one eyebrow pointedly in that way she really, really, truly fucking detests, “You wouldn’t deprive yourself of that pleasure.”

His gaze shifts to the door then as it swings open, allowing Amy’s (midwife? obstetrician? fuck knows!) doctor to walk through. A nurse follows, and Dan catches a quick glance of Amy’s mom talking to Gary in the waiting room.

Are they deciding which one of them is going to watch over the kid first so that Amy can catch some sleep, and Dan can go home and change out of his day-old shirt? He’s actually surprised that, for once, Gary isn’t at Selina’s side like a fucking half-turtled turd.

Amy’s been here for fucking hours – all bed-ridden and shit in a sweaty dull-coloured hospital gown, and (truth be told) he’s still pretty pissed about the blue balls she’d left with him earlier. (Granted, she went into labour, but still.)

Going home to stroke one out might actually come in handy. Pun fully intended, he grins. Just as long as he doesn’t catch a view of her child-baring vag beforehand-

“How are we feeling?”

He’s flicking open the chart the nurse hands him - Dan’s forgotten his name because it was some European-sounding bullshit and he had more important stuff to do than learn it - and he smiles up at Amy, all red hair and freckles and glasses.

“Just tell me if I’m fucking dilated.” Amy writhes on the bed, focuses her attention on the patterned ceiling, and Dan’s damn sure she’s gonna pull a fucking Exorcist in a minute and start levitating. It doesn’t look comfortable. Maybe Mike hadn’t been lying about his surrogate’s birthing story, after all.

The doctor shoves his glasses up his nose, snaps the chart shut and smiles (like a fucking teenage boy who’s gonna get his first upfront look at a woman’s privates).

He leans forward, does his thing (and Dan watches him out of the corner of his eye because focusing on that is a little more personal than he’s willing to get right now, or ever.)

He’d rather not see some guy - trained professional or not - put his hands anywhere near Amy’s crotch. (Unless it’s in a mirror… and he’s the guy.)

“Looks like I was right on time. You’re just about ten centimetres.”

The blonde sits up in her bed then, neck muscles still tense, shoulders raised and bony, “So the little fucker’s finally ready to come out?”

“Amy.”

“I can… start pushing?” She corrects herself with a sigh, half-ignores Dan’s burning stare. Fuck you.

“Seems so.”

She briefly relaxes then, lets herself fall back for only a moment, but then another contraction hits her again, only it’s worse this time, and Dan’s hand is actually there for her to hold and bruise and fuckin’ crush. Jesus, woman!

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“If we’re waiting for that, the kid’s never coming out.”

It’s intended as a joke, but Amy just tightens her hold around Dan’s hand, waiting until his knuckles crack before finally softening her grip.

Prick.

He holds up his other hand (semi-apologetically given the proud look on his face) before lowering it down to the side of the bed, wrapping it around the metal post and leaning closer to her.

“Okay. Push.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Just fuckin’ push, Amy.” He sounds ticked off, worked up, “Jesus, it’s not hard.”

Despite herself, she finds herself reassured when his hand reaches for her own, and then she’s going for it.

-

Turns out, it’d been harder than he thought it would be.

That epidural – no, those two epidurals – clearly hadn’t done shit because she was still in pain throughout, and her body was on the brink of a fucking collapse. Maybe that’s just what happens though. How the fuck is he supposed to know? He didn’t even wanna be here for this until she roped him, forced him into it.

Watching Amy Brookheimer give birth (to his child) hadn’t ever been on his bucket list, and now, he notes, there’s a reason that was. The whole thing had been brutal. She screamed, in his face, into his shirt. She cried, in his arms, into his shirt. She sweated, like a fuckload.

She’d been all red and warm and horrifically in pain, and Dan’s pretty sure he’s going to picture her mid-labour face whenever he’s holding himself back from coming from now on.

At least now she’s calmer, and quieter, and she’s finally fuckin’ let go of his hand. Honestly, childbirth turned out to be much more of a team sport than he’d thought it would be. He didn’t think he’d ever have to be someone’s punching bag, or actual fucking support system, so that was an experience.

At least now she looks like herself, and her blonde hair is straight again because she (post-labour, of course) practically assaulted a nurse until they gave her a hairbrush. Type A, confirmed.

At least now, he can run his hands through pretty, long, straight blonde hair and grab it, tug it, pull it. Maybe once she’s out of here, and he’s changed out this bloody tear-stained, snot-ridden sweaty mess of a striped shirt, they could-

Honestly, she’s really fucking glowing and he’s kind of enjoying it. Is she supposed to look this fuckable after just giving birth? He’s probably a mess himself, all bruised knuckles from her death grip, and aching legs from standing up for so long. Oh, well.

Their son is born at a healthy weight, with blueing grey eyes and a patch of light dark hair atop his head. But he’s all gunky and gooey and just plain fucking gross, so the nurse takes him away to be cleaned up when Amy’s had just about a minute with him.

He was actually kind of… cute? Fuck, she hates that word.

Cute in a way that meant if she stared at him for too long, she’d fucking vomit. Cute in a way that meant he was cuter than most babies – but then again, that’s just their genetics.

“You did great.” Dan’s grinning (again, like a dickhead), “You know that, right?”

“Doesn’t feel like it.”

“I’m serious.”

It’s not the first time he’s complimented her skills, competence. But it’s a strange kind of sincerity, one with a little more meaning, depth behind it than she’s used to receiving from him, from anyone.

Pushing herself up on both palms, her back aches as she stretches, props herself up into a comfier position against some square pillows. It’s not soothing, though, and she has to readjust the shitty cushions behind her to find some kind of comfort. She’s fucking sat on one, and it’s doing nothing to alleviate the pain she’s feeling down below.

“When do you think I can leave?”

She wants to be working, walking about, running around, doing things. Being cooped up in a hospital bed is not fun, is not productive, is not rewarding. Granted, she can still talk and call and email but it’s not the same as being up and about, out where the action is, where she’s actually useful.

Dan gets to leave whenever he likes. Dan doesn’t have to remain on bedrest for an undetermined amount of time. Dan doesn’t have to deal with a sore vagina and everything else that entails. Dan is a man, got the ‘get out of jail free’ card when she drew the one that forces her to take five places back.

Dick, she scowls.

“Probably tonight. That nurse said there weren’t any complications so we can probably go home later.” He reasons, shrugs as though it’s nothing major. Dick.

“We?” Amy lifts a brow, sniffles, “You can go home already, you know.”

“What, you think I’m just gonna fuckin’ leave you here?” Dan stares down at her, runs one hand along the cool railing, “Jesus Christ, Amy, you just had my kid. Even I’m not that fuckin’ cold.” He almost looks appalled at the idea – he’s desperate to leave though, to go home. Fuck it, he’s half-tempted to pack her bag, get her dressed, grab the baby and make a run for it.

“I’m just saying, you don’t have to wait for me-”

“Shut the fuck up.” His head ducks, eyes closing. What the fuck is he doing?

“I can have my mom bring me back to the apartment later. It s fine-” Because she’s still here, because Grandma B likes being involved in all things Baby Brookheimer-Egan related, because she’s just that kind of person. At least they’ll have someone to babysit for them that isn’t hired or fucking Gary.

“Amy, seriously. Shut up.”

“Why?” She smirks, figures she can get a rise out of him and whatever the fuck he’s trying to conceal. Is that… fucking emotion, some kind of weird display of fucking devotion? What- “Or Gary. It’s not like he has anything better to do anyway, other than trim Selina’s nails or wipe her ass.”

“You’re not going home with Gary. For fuck’s sake, Amy. Is it so hard for you to just shut your fucking mouth every once in awhile?”

You getting worked up there, Danny?

He sighs (deeply, strangely), and then he’s leaning down and kissing her before she can even say anything else, anything at all.

It’s a weird kiss, different from their normal, their usual. There’s no tongue shoved down her throat (which she almost sadly longs for), no hand on her neck (which is oddly irritating), no hair-pulling or shirt-tugging (which she really fucking craves).

It’s just a kiss on her lips (soft, surprisingly bland yet somehow charming), and then it’s over.

“What the fuck?” She exclaims when he’s pulled back, scratching the space between dark furrowed brows. “What, did you develop some kind of sappy dad hormones as soon as the fucking baby started kicking and screaming?”

“No, I-” He begins, shifts his gaze from the white sheet of her hospital bed to her face, all pink lips and flushed face. “I don’t know, Amy. Fuck!”

He doesn’t know why he kissed her - like that - save for the fact that he wanted to (almost desperately), so he did. Fuck, he feels feverish. He’s flushed, more than she is, has been, and he doesn’t understand why. His breathing is faster than it was a moment ago, and he wants nothing more than to take that kiss back.

“Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Amy leans back against her pillows, hitches up the bottom of her gown and stretches out her legs. “Fuck.” Her eyes close and she swallows a breath, way too calm for his liking.

Why isn’t she on edge? Why isn’t she begging to be let out of this room? Why isn’t she bribing nurses?

Why isn’t she Amy?

“You know I like you, right?”

“You like me?” She grins despite her eyes remaining closed, and her neck reddens, “Wow, Dan. What a revelation.”

“As in, I like you more than I like anybody else.” Dan shrugs (for no good reason), and he clears his throat with one hand smoothing along the bed railing, “As in, I say I like you, but it’s more than that, and you know it.”

“Oh, I do? Because you’ve made it so blatantly obvious over the years?” She laughs, once, practically hiccups. “Sure, Dan. You like me like that.”

His fingers dance along the thin mattress, curling around the hem of her gown, all pale skin and pastel blue cloth.

Why is she Amy?

“You never wondered why I stayed?”

“Because you think you’re getting something out of this.” She reasons, peeks one eye open and looks at him, flicks both eyes open when she notices his frown. “Jesus Christ, why do you look like someone just reported you as a sex offender? Sort your face out.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” He nods. He did get sex out of this. He did get Amy out of this, in some way, in some capacity. He did get a mini version of himself out of this, and his narcissistic ass kind of really loves that part of the deal. “Not entirely.”

“Oh, go on.” Amy smiles, “What am I missing? Why did you stay?”

“Because it’s you.”

Why is she Amy?

Because if she wasn’t, he wouldn’t be Dan.

“Is this the part where I swoon, and you get down on one knee, and the whole hospital staff applauds when I agree to marry you?” She’s smirking - that bitch! - and she licks her lips, holds her breath for a second.

“Is this where we elope and move to the suburbs and fuck maybe once every three months and I don’t let you finish?” Biting her lip, “Is this where you say you love me?”

She drags out that word, and Dan’s face near drowns of all colour. Fuck her.

“You’re a real cunt, you know that?”

She just nods, sheepish, lets the hand in her lap move to brush against his own, toying with her blue gown, “You love this cunt.”

“I do.” His palm runs along her stomach, stops just above the space between her legs. “And you love this dick.”

Amy smiles, ducks her head, understands him straight away yet doesn’t exactly deny it, “Fuck you.”

“Oh, believe me, you will. I’m just waiting until we can leave and they clear you for sex.”

“You’re seriously fucking turned on by this, aren’t you? That’s some next level, twisted mommy-issue shit right there, Dan.”

“Babe, the only mommy I’m thinking about right now is you.”

“If you start calling yourself ‘daddy’, I swear your balls are getting the chop.”

“Daddy Egan?” He boasts, beams.

“Just my luck.”

[vowel-in-thug]

for the fic prompt meme: 25. “My nightmares are usually about losing you.” silverflint (kill me with the angst Gemma ♡)

Ack, sorry dear, I don’t know if this is as angsty as you would have liked (although lbr anything set during canon has angst inherent). Coming at you with some more of that weird, intense intimacy! Hope you like it! Set after 3x6

“My nightmares are usually about losing you.”

Flint finds Silver right where Madi said he’d be – lying in a private hut, alone, attempting to glare his pain into submission and failing.

Silver glances up when Flint arrives. He looks startled, and exhausted. “When did you get back?”

Flint approaches the bed, trying to keep his features unconcerned. He’d been on the last boat launched from the Walrus when they made it back to Maroon Island. Even from here, he could hear his crew outside the hut in camp, where they’d been talking and eating and settling in for almost an hour now. He needs Silver focused and able for the days ahead, but he also needs him not mad and defensive. “Not long ago,” Flint says. “How are you feeling?”

Silver’s face changes. The bleary-eyed weariness melts to anger as quickly as dusk becomes night. “I fucking told her not to tell everyone –”

“She didn’t tell anyone,” says Flint. “She told me.” Madi is a smart woman, who knew when to pick her battles, and this is something Flint would have figured out on his own anyway. “Answer my question.”

Silver slumps back on his bed, anger completely gone. He looks a little guilty at his outburst as he sighs. “The fever is gone. The pain is – manageable, like always. I just haven’t slept. Any troubles on your end?”

Flint shrugs. “We’re all set to sail out tomorrow morning. Get some rest until then. You need to be fit for what’s to come.” He turns to leave.

“No,” says Silver. He doesn’t sit up fully but he stretches out a hand to stop him. “Stay, just for a bit, please.”

After a long pause, Flint finds a chair and sits down. “Did you… have something you wished to speak about?”

“No,” says Silver again. He closes his eyes, hands resting back on his stomach. “Just, everytime I let you out of my sight, you nearly get yourself killed. It’s doing my nerves in.”

Flint shifts awkwardly, resolving to tell Silver about his duel with Teach – later. “That’s – not true,” he says.

“Colonial regulars, a tempest, the mercy of a mad Queen.” Silver snorts. “It keeps me up at night and, as you say, I need rest, so just sit here quietly for a moment and try not to die.”

Silver breathes evenly, but he knows – somehow, Flint knows – that when Silver actually slept, he makes a soft wheeze through a slightly opened mouth with every exhale, that he won’t sleep until he turns onto his right side, one hand beneath his cheek, hair spilling into his eyes. Somehow, Silver keeping an eye on him, has turned into Flint watching over him. It’s only late in the afternoon, too early for bed, but the heavy circles under Silver’s eyes and the paleness around his lips and knuckles indicates Silver needs all the hours he can possibly get.

He means to let Silver fall asleep and then leave, but he finds himself asking, “It’s me that’s disturbing your sleep? Not the leg?”

Silver cracks an eye open immediately, fixing it on Flint. “The pain does its part, surely. But as of late, I’d be lying if I said my recent nightmares weren’t about losing you.”

“You have dreams of me dying?”

“No. Just –” Both of Silver’s eyes are open now. He props himself up on one hand, his cheeks slightly pink, and Flint hopes it’s not the fever again. “Losing you. I dream about you – gone.”

Flint frowns at him, not understanding, and Silver falls back in bed again, passing a hand over his face with another sigh.

“Last night, for instance,” Silver says, hand still over his eyes. “I dreamt we were back in the launch, rowing out to that whale carcass again. I’d barely eaten from the fever, and though it’s not exactly the same pain, it certainly felt like the same gnawing hunger in the dream, which made it seem all the more real. Except this time, I’m rowing up front, and I turn around to face you, and you’re just gone. Your oars are still and skimming the flat waters. There was no splash, no rocking of the boat to imply you’d gone over. You are just not there – lost to me. I manage to get back to the Walrus, and they – faceless men a hundred stories up, it seems – shout down to me they haven’t seen you in years. They don’t pull me back up, because they have no use for a Quartermaster without a Captain, and they start to sail away, and the paflasmos beats away at that tiny boat until the wood wears away, and the boat sinks beneath that useless sea. Then I woke up, just as my head was going under.”

Silver’s voice is measured and quiet, as though speaking from the dream itself. Flint has been uncomfortable with the idea that Silver might dream of him, but he doesn’t know what to make of Silver dreaming of his absence and calling it a nightmare.

He decides to retreat to his old ways, whenever he’d learned something personal about someone, by following it up with a dry, scholarly question of ill-use and meaning, something both Thomas and Miranda used to tease him about. They’d say he loved learning, except anything about his fellow man. “What was that word you used?” he asks.

“What?”

“P-paflasmos?” Flint says it slowly, not even attempting the accent Silver used. “Is that… Greek?”

“Oh,” says Silver. “Yes. It means… There isn’t a direct translation, I suppose. It’s like… the tiny waves that lap the sides of boats when other boats move through the water.” The hand has fallen from Silver’s face, and he’s looking at Flint expectantly, not quite expecting this line of questioning.

“I didn’t know you were Greek,” says Flint.

“You didn’t know I speak Greek,” Silver replies with a tiny smile.

Flint edges his chair closer to the bed. Orange evening light filters through the cracks of the hut, and he could hear the villagers and his men discussing dinner. He should go make sure Vane isn’t causing any shit. He should leave Silver to his rest.

Instead, he asks, “Do you dream in Greek?”

“Sometimes.” Silver blinks sleepily at him. He looks unbearably warm and comfortable to Flint. “When I think of you, though, it’s usually in Greek.”

Flint frowns again. “Why’s that?”

Silver shrugs. “There are words you remind me of, other words that don’t translate well either. Even I sometimes think one word is preferable to ten, given the right situation. Can I get some water, please?”

Standing, Flint finds a bottle and a metal cup beside the foot of the bed. As he pours some out, he asks, “What kind of words?”

“Well, there’s levendes,” Silver says. “It means a tall, masculine man with much pride.” Flint glances up sharply, so he sees Silver’s tired smirk when Flint accidentally spills some drink onto his hand. “You can imagine I’ve heard that one quite a bit in the past.”

Flint rolls his eyes, but still finds he’s tense and unsure. He brings the cup up to his face, sniffing it to save himself some time and to make sure it is, in fact, water.

“I think of you and I think kaimos,” says Silver, watching him steadily. “It’s like… a longing, or a deep sorrow. A burden. Actually, it does have a literal translation. It means burning.”

Flint holds the cup limply in his hands. He doesn’t move from the foot of the bed. He feels like he’s walking up a staircase in a dream, thinking there’s an extra step and jerking out in his bed. One small movement and everything is disrupted.

“I think of you and I think merakai,” Silver continues. “A deep devotion. Your eagerness. I often think your body runs on merakai, yet your soul runs on kaimos. And I often think for me, it might be the opposite. The water?” He holds his hand out again.

Flint brings it to him, and Silver cups his hand and draws his fingers over the back of his other hand, gently dragging down to grasp the mug. Flint doesn’t know why the gesture is familiar, like a half-remembered haze of some vision upon waking. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised when Silver takes the cup with one hand to drink, leaving his palm light on Flint’s curled fingers. He watches Silver swallow deeply and feels a dryness curl up on his tongue.

“Alisahni,” Silver says when he puts the cup down and looks up at Flint, his eyes clearer than they had been a moment ago.

“What’s that?” Flint asks, with something that was like fear, that was like eagerness, that was like burning.

He keeps still as Silver runs the flat of his hand up to Flint’s bare wrist. Flint’s watching Silver and Silver’s watching his hand move all the way up. “I think of you and I think of alisahni. I think about the salt drying on the hairs of your arm.”