#Something something blame my father for this since he always broke every promise he made to me as a child and made
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mrfoox · 10 months ago
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How to make Miranda lose up to 80% of her trust and belief in you 101:
- break an promise
- break an agreement on something that's kinda a big deal
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defire · 2 months ago
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Chapter 27: Clever Lies
Content: post-beating injuries, mention of child abuse, beating, interrogation, minor whumpee, slavery
Kit sat in Caboodle's chair, in Caboodle's room, and eyed his little brother, who sat hugging his knees and staring wide-eyed at the wall like he was being re-traumatized.
"And I don't know why you even had to say that crazy crap about Aunt Wry." Caboodle said. "No one will take us seriously."
"Meanwhile, our father fought in the war." Kit sighed. "Even if we did fight in a war... we'd lose."
Caboodle didn't respond, going back to staring. The black eye on the left bulged with swelling. Kit still wanted to just... bite his father's face off for that. As for himself, he had a cracked rib, and could hardly walk. 
Their father had taken them home, then had beaten the two of them till they couldn't get up off the floor. Then he came back and whipped them with the leather razor strop like he'd promised last time Nife's name came up. No more Druids.
Kit’s back still oozed from broken welts under the bandages their servant had sullenly applied, and every time the wounds broke open, a fresh sting and burn reawakened and made him want to cry out. He had to keep it in for Caboodle’s sake. The poor kid still had tear tracks down his eyes, even though it had been hours since the punishment.
"I mean, you were kind of cool." Caboodle admitted after a long pause, still addressing the wall. "But you gotta be careful what you say when you're wearing that bracelet."
"Are you blaming the bracelet now?"
"Everything happened because you tipped your cup over, then you said that thing, then..." Caboodle stopped, swallowed and glanced at Kit finally.
Like always happened, his little brother's gaze flitted around his various injuries like he could sense them under his clothes.
"Maybe they're just all assholes." Kit said.
“They might be.” Caboodle said softly. “Is Nife… Did you see how she’s doing?”
Kit closed his eyes. The tidbits had been awful–a flash of intense anguish as she faced the wall and something whacked against her back over and over. Nife’s hands bandaging Iridiss’ ripped-up back. Striker’s face, much too close, with a predatory glint in his eyes as he pressed his fingers into a bruise on her neck. She was so… afraid. The bastard.
“It’s… horrifying. It’s way worse than I ever imagined.”
“Wait–what do you mean?” Caboodle looked alarmed.
“They… They beat and torture the slaves…” Kit shuddered, fidgeting with the bracelet. “You don’t want to know.”
Caboodle winced as he rubbed his arm. Glen had targeted it brutally with the leather strop. When he saw Kit’s stormy expression, he put on a smile.
"Here, let me see that." Caboodle snapped his fingers at the bracelet. "I have an idea."
When Kit gave it to him, he slipped it on and closed his eyes.
"I have this really bad feeling, and usually I can't put my finger on it, but maybe this bracelet..." He faded out as he started to concentrate. Kit felt another tremor shake the city and the floor creak as he waited for Caboodle to stop. It was boring. He looked out the window and saw, far away, several towers falling deeper into the rot, sinking toward each other somewhat, and pulling down the nearby buildings, from what he could tell.
"...Oh, no." Caboodle raised his head and looked at Kit. "I think Striker wants to get Nife killed."
"Yeah, that's no big surprise. He thinks she's inciting rebellion."
"No, Kit... He has a plan."
"What plan?" Kit stood up. 
They weren't supposed to leave, but if there was a plan to kill Nife, to hell with that.
"I don't know..." Caboodle said. "I just heard him say 'two birds' and then sort of... felt like he was thinking of Nife. There was a plan. I could feel it."
He shuddered, taking off the bracelet.
"Here." He said, practically throwing it at Kit. "I don't... I don't like how he thinks of her."
"Horizons..." Kit groaned, picking up the bracelet and putting it back on. "We have to do something."
Caboodle shook his head.
"There's literally nothing we can do."
"No–fuck that." Kit hurried to the window and slapped a hand down on the sill, looking out over the dark miasma in the street below. "We'll do something. We can't not do something."
Nife watched as Striker stepped into the small room, maneuvering around Enimee with that signature Bane respect for about three whole feet of personal space. Nife ducked her head behind her arm, using it to shield her ribs, which she worried were broken after all the kicking.
Striker bent forward over her.
"Stand up."
Nife shivered.
"Your lordship, I–"
His kick smashed into her upper arm with terrifying strength. With that one strike, she felt how easy it would be for the man to break every bone in her body.
"Stand–up." Striker twisted a hand into the beads, wrapping them so tightly they choked around Nife's neck, yanked her back, and as she struggled to stand, caught her under the chin with the web of his hand and slammed her back into the plaster wall.
She screamed through her teeth as the impact jostled the injuries in her back. At least she was getting a little support to stand.
"Now you're going to answer every question I ask." Striker said. His calm, almost expressionless face was dark because of the backlight, but Nife could see the heat of his tongue running over his teeth inside his mouth, something he often did when he was calculating what to say, it seemed. "Do you understand me?" He said.
Nife attempted to nod, then choked out,
"Yes, your lordship."
"First. Why did you choose that moment to mouth off to my sister?"
"...Well, it's not like I choose when she decides to be extra stup--"
Striker punched her in the stomach. Nife cursed and grimaced.
"For every question you refuse to answer, I'll punch you again." Striker said.
At that, Nife could see Enimee opening and closing her mouth to object, but she didn't dare. There was not a single member of the household that wasn't afraid of Lord Striker.
"Now answer the question." Striker said.
"I... I don't know." Nife lied, and from the shaking in her voice, she did it well. She couldn't possibly tell Striker how much her friends meant to her. That would just put them in more danger.
Striker didn't move, but with her nightsight, Nife watched his fist slowly unclench, and breathed a little.
"The second question." Striker said. "You Druids can see behind yourselves, can't you?"
Nife froze for a moment, breaking herself of it with a small tremor. She shook her head slowly.
"I've been watching you." Striker said. "You saw me unclench my fist just now, without being able to turn to look. How?"
"I–I didn't." Nife lied again. "I don't know how you Banes can't see as well as we can–maybe we have better eyesight. You can see better in the daytime, though."
"That's commonly known." Striker said. "I'm asking you to tell me how you saw my hand just now."
Nife shook her head, blinking at tears of apprehension as she felt the fingers around her throat tighten a little. Not quite choking, but enough to heighten the pitch of her voice just a touch if she were to speak.
"You'd better not be lying." Striker said.
Nife didn't answer, staring at the ground. There was no kind of defense for this kind of thing. His grip slowly tightened until she couldn’t take a breath. She shook her head, opening her eyes wide with a strangled,
“Not–”
And he loosened his grip so she could breathe.
"...Last question." Striker said, stepping so close their chests touched. Nife was panting, struggling to hold herself up on one leg. "And you'd better have something more than 'I don't know', because we all saw you."
Nife glanced at Enimee, who was standing there with a hand on the handle of her cane. Right, no friends here.
"You pushed Creack's magic back." Striker said.
A weight like a heavy rock dropped into Nife's gut. She couldn't respond to this one satisfactorily, no matter how well she tried to obscure it.
"You stood up in the middle of what should've felt like an outright flogging, judging from the welts you received." Striker said. "Despite all three of them attempting to punish you at once. You counteracted the magic, and Creack can't tell me what happened. So you tell me. How did you do it?"
Nife lifted her chin.
“Guess I’m just that tough.”
Striker let go and slapped her. It had almost become reflexive not to block the blows at this point–blocking only got Nife a full on beating.
"You liar!" Striker said. "I saw the magic on your arm fade and flicker. How!"
Nife widened her eyes and gave Striker a glance in the eyes, then hastily looked back down at the ground, grinding her teeth.
"I..."
Another slap stung across her cheek, sending her staggering sideways. She caught herself on the wall, clenching her fists against a defensive reaction.
"Answer the question, Nife."
Nife wouldn't answer that. It was the fucking key to her escape. She'd take whatever she had to, but she wouldn't answer that question.
She crumpled backward, crouching in the corner, shielding her face with her bruised arm. She said nothing, preparing herself for the beating as Striker walked toward her.
He stared down at her for a full minute as she shuffled around, her protective squat getting tighter and tighter as she tried to get ready for broken bones and agony.
"Enimee," Striker said. "Leave me alone with her."
First chapter: Next chapter:
Taglist: @tildeathiwillwrite @mimostic @fleur-a-whump @a-n-j-a-maria @bamber344 per Tumblr's content policy, this is the non-nsfw version, but you can find the canon Dance of Death on Amazon and ao3 (which I'm updating shabbily as fast as I can). Also if you want, it would mean so much to me if you leave a review or comment while you're there.
Let me know if you want to be tagged!
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lyranova · 8 months ago
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Hey it's clover anon. I loved the summary and it inspired me to write this one shot :
Bittersweet
Y/n loved Nacht, ever since they were 6, she loved him when they made a pinky promise to get married when they grow up, She loved him when he used to pull harmless pranks on her but when she saw him crying alone under the tree where he saved her from bullies and she hugged him to calm him, she felt something different because she realized she loved him romantically so she kept loving him even when he dyed his hair blond and became a delinquent. When other girls used to swoon over his bad boy attitude she felt jealous because she loved him and also felt he never saw her as anything more than a friend but that feeling changed when Morgen died because they only got stronger.
When Morgen died Nacht felt so guilty he felt that he was the one to be blamed. When Yami told him to join the magic knights he was just confused "Do I deserve it?" was all that he thought lying on his bed everyday feelin numb till one day when his childhood friend visited him.
"Nacht, I'm coming it." She said before opening the door she was nervous because she didn't see him since his family's funeral. When she saw Nacht alone feeling so depressed it broke her heart. He was lying on his bed and his room was in a mess, there were so many broken things and no one where there to clean it up because all the servants had quit working in the manor. He was just lying on the bed tears rolling down his eyes barely noticing her. "Nacht" she ran towards him tears filled in her eyes. "Y/n" he replied as he sat on his bed "Why are you here?".
"I missed you. When you ignored me at your family funeral I thought you needed space but I didn't hear from you later, I didn't see you anywhere and then I heard that all the servants had quit so I came to see you" she replied
"I see" he said.
She sat next to him holding his hands and intertwining their fingers. "Nacht do you want to talk about it?"
"Well, y/n my family had a secret. We used to study devils and bind them with objects to making them obey us" He pulled out a necklace to show her she squeezed his hand and nodded. "I managed to bind 4 middle level devils in a short time so father gave me a relic connected to a highest devil." Y/n squeezed his hand tighter having an idea where this was going to end. " I was overconfident and reckless and I paid the price. The devil when out of control and killed everyone, father, mother their followers and would have even taken control of my body but Morgen came before that could happen and destroyed the relic saving my worthless life while sacrificing his." Tears began to roll down his face.
Y/n wiped his tears "Nacht don't say that, your life is not worthless if Morgen saw you in this condition he would be heartbroken. Nacht, know that Morgen loved you, know that I love you."
"Y/n don't say that, you deserve better than a delinquent like me. Someone evil like me. You deserve someone better, someone nice, sweet and good like Morgen."
"Nacht you idiot. I knew Morgen, he was my close friend but I loved you and only you. I don't care if you were a delinquent, I don't care if you were reckless, I love you, I always did and I always will. If you feel so bad then use this life that Morgen saved to help people, I know you can do it because if you were evil you wouldn't have saved me from those bullies." She took his hand and kept it close to her heart. "If you were evil then you won't be feeling guilty. If you were evil you wouldn't make this heart love you." She said with tears running down her eyes.
Nacht kissed her and she returned it. The kiss was gentle in the beginning but it got more passionate little by little. They both didn't hold back the feelings that they held for each other for all those years. Nacht remembered to be gentle with her, kissing her every chance he got, whispering "I love you", pulling her closer, caressing her face as they both cried and spent the night together.
The next morning Y/n woke up and sleeply stretched her hand to hug Nacht but the bed was empty, she opened her eyes to find Nacht nowhere. She just found a letter :
My dear Y/n
Thank you for everything. I'll remember what you said for my whole life. I'll work hard, I'll help people and I'll do everything to be worthy of you so wait for me, please wait for me. I will be back to keep our childhood promise. I love you.
Love
Nacht
She cried holding the note close to her heart.
(3 months later)
"Miss, you are pregnant" the doctor said " You are quite young do you want to get an abortion?"
"No , I want to keep the baby." She said knowing exactly how hard it would be.
"Miss, you are going to have twins" the doctor said.
"I see, more the merrier" she replied happily
"Nacht will be so happy when he sees them." She thought to herself.
Everything went as she knew. Her parents kicked her out of the house. People gossiped about her but she still kept the children as she believed that the babies were a precious gift from Nacht and she loved him.
(3 months later)
Y/n felt the pain but she held on she knew that she was going to have permanent complications after having the twins but she kept pushing. She just pictures Nacht holding her hand through the whole process and when it was all done she finally saw the two precious babies. A girl who looked just like her and a boy who looked just like Nacht. They looked so tiny and weak after all they were premature babies. "I'll look after you both well, you both will have the best of the best life. I'll make sure of that. Even though I won't be able to walk, I'll work hard for you both" she said crying.
(6 years later)
Y/N came back home on her wheelchair after a long day of work. Fortunately because she was a noble she had a lot of mana and she could get a job. She worked hard everyday burning trash till she ran out of mana. "Mama" the twins ran towards her and hugged her "Stella, Joy." She hugged them back "How was school?"
"We learnt a lot, Mama" they said at the same time.
"Shall we go to our favorite restaurant? After that I'll buy you candy it's both of your birthday after all." She said smiling.
"Yea!!!!!!" The twins said happily
Y/n pushed her wheelchair through the streets with the twins walking next to her. She wished she could close their ears as the townfolk began to gossip.
"Her son looks just like the dead lord of house Faust."
"Maybe she slept with his twin?"
"That delinquent. His whole family died all of a sudden. Maybe he killed them all."
"If he is murder then the children might become murders too."
She clenched her fists but she didn't say anything. She hated it when people talked so badly about the man she loves or her kids. "It's okay " she thought to herself "Nacht will be back , he will keep his promise. Then the kids won't have to hear anything after that"
After eating at the restaurant she took the kids to their favorite candy store. "Pick whatever you want I'll buy it." She smiled. The kids ran in and were busy picking candies when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked back "Yami?"
"How have you been?" He asked
Just then the twins ran towards her. "Keep away from, mama" Stella said
"Yeah, if you hurt her we will fight you." Joy replied
"It's okay, he is a friend of your papa." She said.
Yami looked at the kids " Nacht's?"
She nodded.
"Mister how is papa? He is protecting the kingdom and helping people . So is he well?" Stella asked
"When will he be back?" Joy asked.
Y/n smiled and patted their heads and said "That was all I could think of."
( 4 years later)
The Zogratis siblings were finally defeated. Nacht was happy to finally return to clover kingdom so that he could return to his precious Y/n. He was a little nervous, he wondered if she still loved him, if she had moved on but it didn't matter all he wanted to do was see her even if it was from afar.
He tried to look for her shadow but it was of no use he couldn't sense it. Something was not right. He desperately went to the town looking for her. He went to her family only to know that she was kicked out. He asked around to find out that she was sick and has two kids. Nacht froze "Did she move on ?" He didn't care he just wanted to see her. So he went to the house the people said she lived in only to see a funeral. Nacht went to see what was going on there weren't many people and in the coffin was his precious y/n eyes closed and sleeping forever his suspicions were true. He fell on his knees crying. Just then he felt a tap on his shoulder to see a girl who looked just like Y/n and a boy just like him both looked 10 "Are you our papa?" They asked at the same time "Are you finally back?"
(2 months later)
Nacht read the letter everyday. It was the most precious thing to him after the children. He opened it:
Dear Nacht,
If you are reading this letter then it means that I must have left this world. There hasn't been a single day that I haven't thought about you. In the beginning things were tough but then Yami showed up. He told me a little about what you were doing and I wasn't surprised, I knew you would be doing something great I always did. He even sent a fraction of your salary which surprised me. He even asked help from sister Theresa and I could leave the children in a nearby church when I had work. Please don't be mad at him for not telling you about me, I made him promise not to tell you anything, I didn't want you to abandon your duties for me and now that I am no more please look after the children they are really precious to me and I hope they will remind you of me just like they reminded me of you. I'm sorry that I couldn't keep my end of our promise. I love you, I always did and I always will.
Love
Y/n.
Nacht folded the letter and kept it on his table next to the portrait of them both as children, a portrait of them as teenagers and a portrait of her with the children. He went down to see the black bulls with the children. Charmy made their favorite food, Vanessa sewed pretty clothes, Gouche was telling them about Marie, Gordon was giving them his scary dolls, Luck and Magna were trying to teach them how to fight, the rest of them were waiting for their turn to spend time with the kids. Nacht took them to the black bulls base to stay till he could find a good boarding school for the kids. He smiled ."Are you happy Y/n" He thought
(40 years later)
Nacht was on his death bed as Stella and Joy were each hold a hand of his "Thank you for being with me kids, you both have grown to be amazing adults, I am so proud of you both." They began to cry. "Don't worry I'll meet your mother soon." and then Nacht took his final breath. When he opened his eyes he could see a white light and in the middle was his precious Y/n smiling.
She looked like she didn't age even a day since he last saw her. He looked down to look at his hands and there we're any wrinkles.
"Nacht" she ran and hugged him "I was waiting for you, all this time , my love."
"And I was waiting for this too." He said and hugged her back.
What do you think? I hope my English is okay.
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Hiya Clover Anon! Aww i’m so glad my little summary was able to inspire you to write this 🥺! I think this is great, and very well written! I honestly think you should post this on Ao3 or on you’re blog so that way more people can see it and appreciate it 🥰! Also you’re english is very good, so please don’t worry about it!
@loosesodamarble tagging you because it’s Nacht, and because when I wrote the summary I may or may not have thought about Nacsele and Dawn and Dusk 😅👉👈!
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huggybug · 2 years ago
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finally getting around to writing this
disclaimer: reminder that this is complete fiction, it’s not a direct representation of pat and brendan’s relationship!!!
happy dilf day!
It was awkward. Your son’s tournament this week went horribly wrong and with his luck, it was the one weekend that Brendan was home for which meant he was at every single game. Now, you were all in the car, driving home from the rink after his team came in 16th out of 20 teams. The silence was the most uncomfortable thing you’ve ever felt, especially since you could feel both boys absolutely fuming in their seats.
“You’re never going to make it anywhere if you keep playing like that” Brendan broke the silence and you looked at him right away. You heard your son mumble something in the back seat but Brendan kept on going, “You can’t play like that, especially when there’s scouts watching”
This tournament was the one that college scouts usually came to watch, it was one of the most important tournaments of the year and as disappointing as the team’s performance was, you didn’t think it was fair to blame it all on your son.
“I wasn’t the only one out there…” You could tell that your son was feeling a little dejected and you couldn’t blame him. Brendan was being ridiculous, blaming it all on your son and you knew it.
“I don’t care, you’re the one who could have changed it out there. You’re my son, the captain of your team. You should know better” Brendan continued to tear into your son while he stayed silent, “That’s embarrassing, aren’t you embarrassed?” Your eyes widened, shocked at how brutal he was being.
“Brendan” You scolded, “That’s enough” He looked at you but you just shook your head sharply. Brendan parked the car and your son scrambled out as fast as he could. You followed quickly, rushing into the house behind him.
“Can I please just go to bed?” He asked you, eyes pleading for you to say yes. You took a deep breath and pulled him into a hug, feeling terrible for the way Brendan handled that.
“Of course, don’t worry, I’ll talk to him” He nodded and dragged himself upstairs, clearly drained from the day. You followed, heading to your room to get ready for bed and soon enough, you heard Brendan entering the room.
You continued moving around the bedroom, finishing your routine and changing while ignoring your husband. “What? You’re not going to talk to me now?” Brendan grabbed your hand when you walked past him but you shook him off. “C’mon why are you mad?”
“If you seriously don’t know the answer to that question, I’m not going to walk you through it Brendan” There it was again, the use of his full name. He actually couldn’t remember the last time you called him ‘Brendan’ it was always babe or Bren, never his full name.
“I’m just frustrated, he is so much better than that”
“You don’t think he knows that? It was a bad weekend Bren, he knows and he doesn’t need you pouring salt in the wound and making it worse”
“I just want him to live up to his potential” He froze when the words left his mouth.
“Oh, you finally heard it?” You ask, crossing your arms over your chest and he sighs, “You sound exactly like your father Bren”
“Don’t say that” He snaps which makes you shake your head.
“You spent all your life trying to prove everything to your dad and now you’re making our son do that too” It was a little unfair to say, you knew his relationship with Pat was a touchy subject but you were defending your son, it didn’t matter.
Brendan made a vow when your son was born, he promised himself that he would never turn into his father. He didn’t want his own son to grow up feeling the pressure and obligation of ‘being a Brisson’, something his father used to tell him was a blessing.
“I’m not-”
“Yes you are!” You were tired of Brendan acting like this wasn’t his fault, like nothing he said was out of line. “You’re doing exactly what you used to complain about your dad doing Bren. I remember you coming to my dorm just absolutely devastated because your dad said something stupid about a game and you just couldn’t stand him being disappointed in you. Is that really how you want to be? A dad who makes his own son feel like that?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything” He said quietly as he sat down on the edge of the bed, dropping his head into his hands.
“Yeah, no kidding” You scoffed, sitting next to him and placing your hand delicately on his back, “I know you mean well but sometimes it’s better if we just let him process it in his own way”
“I hated my dad for doing that” Brendan shook his head, “Fuck, I hate myself for doing it now”
“Calm down Bren, you can talk to him and I know he’ll understand. You’re a good dad, I know that and he knows that, you’re nothing like your father”
“Yeah… yeah I’m gonna talk to him” Brendan smiled, taking a couple breaths to hype himself up.
“Not tonight. Give him some time, you can talk to him in the morning” You said gently, “Let’s get some rest” Brendan sighed but agreed, letting you coax him into bed quietly. You took a deep breath once he was asleep, it had been a long day and you were glad it was finally over.
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sukirichi · 3 years ago
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reckless [02.]
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With a lackadaisical playboy as your boss, being reckless wasn’t an option. But on the one time you let loose and made mistakes, your life is shattered, and now you’re playing house with your insufferable boss who is the father of your baby.
✘ cw. angst, toxic situations
✘ note. yes, feel free to scream at me in the asks. but like don’t worry, i promise there’s more to come and there’s more to happen! it’s going to get fluffier as we go hehehehe. ALSO, I can’t help but feel that Zayn’s “Let Me” speaks perfectly to CEO playboy Gojo. hmph.
one  ✘  two  ✘  three 
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One glance at the tall man beside you, and you would’ve thought he would pass out soon.
Satoru had been endlessly fidgety hours before the appointment. Flicking from music stations to another, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel or sighing at the sight of you calmly watching the city go by in a flash – it was clear he was restless. Judging from the dark circles he tried to conceal under a pair of shades, he probably hadn’t slept much last night as well.
Now that you were both inside the clinical room, with you laying back down on the reclined bed, belly exposed and all for him to marvel at, his knee hadn’t stopped bouncing. “Satoru, calm down. It’s just a doctor’s appointment.”
“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants. “I’m just…excited yet nervous, you know? It feels so real now.”
Real didn’t begin to cover it. Although you masked your nervous quite well, you felt your stomach tighten when a woman came in. Her smile was gentle and comforting enough, talking you both through the process and spilling little fun facts about pregnancy. She applied a cool gel over your belly before turning to a screen, where mixed dots and waves of black and white blurred in front of your visions. Your eyes widened in awe, throat dry from the inability to speak. The baby had always felt real, but seeing it with your own two eyes, a small figure barely even a comprehensible shape in the screen, you couldn’t help but tear up a little.
“That’s mine?” Satoru breathed out, absentmindedly looping his hands through yours. It made you stiffen for a quick second, but your attention was quickly pulled back to the sonogram. “We made that?”
Your heart clenched at his words.
He sounded so happy – like all his dreams came true and you’d just given him a gift that was beyond priceless. You supposed it really was; a baby was always a miracle and joy to have, but this child wasn’t made out of love. How could he have so much fondness for something he didn’t want in the first place?
“The baby is perfectly healthy. This pregnancy doesn’t seem like a high-risk one, but it’s too early to tell so we’ll keep checking in on you,” the doctor pushed her glasses back to her nose, the sound of her cool voice pulling you back from a dangerous path of self-doubt and wariness. “Do you guys want to know the gender?”
Glancing at Satoru, you shook your head. It was amusing that you didn’t need to share words before he got the meaning behind one look, and he squeezed your hand as if to say he understood.
“I’d like that to be more of a surprise. Thank you, doctor.”
“Congratulations on being a father, Sir,” she bowed, and it occurred to you just now she was probably a family doctor. Satoru did end up keeping his promise that your pregnancy be kept private for a while. This little detail made you turn to him with shock written all over your face, though his attention was centred in on the swirling monochrome colours on the screen. Whether the doctor noticed the brewing tension between you two or not, you were still gad when they bowed once more to excuse themselves. “I’ll leave you two to talk now.”
The moment she was gone, you sat up and pushed your blouse down. Satoru’s demeanour had changed as well. His smile was wiped from his face, replaced only by a slight downturn of his lips.
Sighing, you swung your legs over the bed, not minding one bit that he was inches away from resting his chin onto your thighs. “Is there something you’re not telling me? You’ve been so worried since we got here.”
Satoru winced.
“Am I that obvious?”
“Even if you aren’t, it’s not that hard to see through you,” you spoke gently, a spirit possessing you because there would’ve been no other logical reason on why you placed a palm over his. Satoru’s hands were warm and large as he cupped your knee, tracing little patterns over your jeans as he kept his gaze lowered to the floor. It was an odd sight to see; that the Gojo Satoru refused to look a woman in the eye. “Tell me. What’s wrong?”
Satoru’s sigh is painfully drawn out, though his chuckles took the brunt.
“I don’t know what to do – how to be a father, I mean. Don’t you ever get worried…that maybe we might fuck up and ruin someone’s life?”
“Hey,” you cupped his cheek, forcing him to look you in the eyes – which you really wished he didn’t, because you’d never seen such azure this up close before. It was no secret that his eyes alone stole the hearts of people, but you had to remind yourself he broke them as well, so that you pulled away right before he got too close for comfort. It wasn’t what he needed anyway. Satoru simply required reassurance, so you opted for an awkward pat on the shoulder. “Weren’t you the one telling me the other day we’ll work it out?”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
“It’s nothing,” he shook his head, a smile lighting up his features once more. “Are you feeling good? There’s someplace I want to take you, as a celebration for our healthy baby.”
You pursed your lips. As much as you appreciated his enthusiasm, this ‘celebration’ didn’t sound like a good idea. You’ve made mistakes before and now you lived the consequence of it; being reckless was outdated. Caution, wariness, and space were the top three perfect recipes for the complete opposite of a disaster.
“I don’t think that’s necessary.”
“Why not?” he challenged, taking your hand in his as he guided you out the clinic. You made no comment on why he led you out the back where he’d parked his car, even going as far to bow for you as he opened your door. “Liven up a little, we got good news today! Plus, we didn’t both take a day for nothing. Come on, you’re going to have fun, I promise you!”
“And where would we go where people won’t recognize you?”
“Somewhere people are too lost in their own world to focus on others,” Satoru announced before sending you a side glance, smooth hands already on their way to rev the engine.
This wouldn’t go down well. Or at least that was what you wanted to believe, because his smile and excitement were too contagious that you couldn’t restrain the smile you wore.
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“A carnival? Really? We’re too old for this.”
“We’re never too old for anything,” he insisted, placing his hands on your shoulders as he maneuvered from stall to stall. Everywhere around you, children and people of all ages milled by, laughter and screams that fading into the distance. One survey at the long, endless lines for the rides and crowded spaces, you grimaced, feeling an uncomfortable weight resting on your shoulders that was beyond Satoru’s hands. “Aw, come on, don’t be such a bore. Day offs like these are rare and think about the baby! Don’t you think they would’ve wanted us to get a long?”
“You’re just using the baby as an excuse to have fun.”
Of course he would – Gojo Satoru was like a man-child. Whether it was someone randomly bringing donuts or puppies into the office, he easily lit up like a firework, seemingly finding joy in every little thing. Being stuck in the office and forced to work his ass off under your supervision must’ve taken a toll on him too.
Add on the fact he hadn’t gone out on dates or parties ever since he found out he was going to be a dad, the desperation to go out and do something was written all over his face.
Satoru pouted. “That’s mean. Take that back.”
“No.”
“And I’m the childish one here?” he snickered. You merely rolled your eyes at him and gave in; too much time spent working and not enough time relaxing (not that being a carnival was your definition or relaxation, but alas, Satoru was dragging you around everywhere like always) wouldn’t be good for the baby.
“You see that bear over there? I’m going to win that for you. It could be my first ever present for our baby.”
There was no stopping him. You didn’t want to, either, because you just stood there, arms crossed against your chest as you let him do whatever he pleased. A literal man-child, a youthful soul stuck in an irritatingly attractive man’s body – these were the thoughts that ran through your head while Satoru kept swinging his arm back and forth. He chose a stall where you had to knock down stacks of cans down with one set of three balls, all because he wanted to win a bear. You would really rather go home than watch him fail four times now, but he wasn’t giving up, only flexing his shoulders before gesturing to the young man.
“Hey man, three more balls please.”
Nothing was funny about it at all. Watching your boss fail miserably even after ten tries shouldn’t have been so hilarious, yet sweat was dripping all over his face and his patience was hanging on a loose thread that you were giggling before you knew it.
His usual confident bravado began to tear down bit by bit, his face flushed from the sounds of your teasing.
“Satoru, stop,” you laughed, “We’ve been here for twenty minutes and your wallet might as well be empty! You can just go buy a bear at the mall.”
“You’re too functional. Where would be the meaning behind it if I just bought a random bear?” he huffed, pushing the sleeves of his denim jacket up to his elbows. Determined now more than ever, he even stretched his long arms side to the side with a shake of his hips. You could tell the young man manning the stall was hiding his amusement by whistling to himself, but Satoru really was such a ridiculous sight you couldn’t blame him. “No, I’m going to get that for you, then I’ll brag to my baby how cool their dad was when he knocked those cans down.”
“You mean, if you knock those cans down.”
His shoulders deflated. “Support me a little bit, will you?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, it might just inflate your ego and you’ll be too distracted by yourself to ever actually knock those cans down,” He threw a ball with a force so strong it hit the curtain above the cans, and it bounced back somewhere below the tables. It didn’t even touch the can by a smidge, and you snorted. “See what I mean?”
Expecting that Satoru would take insult to heart (as his ego was easily wounded, this much you knew when he refused to talk to anyone at the office for a whole day because one of his directors forgot his name) you smirked at him, but that smirk immediately dropped when he grinned back at you. He was no longer wimpy like before, an aura of confidence brimming from him. “That’s like the second time you’ve told me I was distracting,” he mused, leaving you baffled because he was right. “On the contrary, I think you’rea lot more distracting, so I take that back. Just stand there and watch me win.”
“Okay,” you drawled out in faux disinterest, thankful for the corny carnival music and chatter from the crowd that he couldn’t hear your poor beating heart.
You were too focused on pretending to be unbothered by him that you failed to see how the cans were knocked down. The counter guy was already picking them up as Satoru pumped his fists in the air, way too much like a child high on sugar.
Was this really the father of your baby?
“I won! I fucking won! That huge brown bear, please!”Satoru’s smile from holding the bear that was half his size couldn’t even compare to the city lights and sparklers. Even his eyes were lit up in joy as he skipped back to you, happily waving the doe-eyed bear in front of you. At your lack of reaction, he sighed before jutting his cheek out to you. “No congratulations kiss?”
“How about a slap?”
“Kinky,” he teased, sending your brain to overheat when he tapped his chin in thought. “Well, you did make my back bleed so I kind of got the idea you’re sort of extreme in bed – ow! Would you please stop hitting me? I just won you a wonderful prize and your first reaction is to hit me! This arm is exhausted from swinging endlessly, you know.”
“Maybe if you aimed better, you wouldn’t have had to exhaust yourself. Like I said, you could’ve just bought a bear,” you scolded, raising your arm threateningly when he opened his mouth again. Idiot. “Give me that.”
Satoru effortlessly swung the bear until it was under your chins, his white lashes ethereal as he peeked at you through them. He was close enough that you could feel the warmth of his breath dusting on your cheeks, that same warmth that had been mixing with yours in a sloppy, heated kiss just weeks ago. “And who said I was letting you carry this?” he taunted, thoroughly enjoying how for once, you weren’t hitting him.“I’m supposed to wave this around proudly then place it in our baby’s room when we get home. Besides, your hand looks heavy already.”
“My hands? Wait, what do you mean our baby’s room?”
At your words and questioning gaze, Satoru did a quick turn, trying to use the bear as a shield.
“Yeah, I forgot to tell you,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “I may or may not have had my parents’ guest room renovated as a baby room, although if you ask me, I think moving somewhere else would be much better. Raising a child in a penthouse doesn’t seem like such a great idea if you ask me,” opening your mouth to scold him, Satoru stopped you by placing a finger on your lips, noses grazing against each other. “Don’t scold me right now; I know that look on your face and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, okay? We can still decorate it ourselves. I just had the beds removed and the space cleaned out. Now stop over thinking and let me help you with your problem.”
You pushed his face away for the sake of your heart. In fact, you should be paid for your acting skills for looking so unaffected.
“What problem?”
“Your hands look heavy,” he beamed, long fingers looping through yours as he swayed them side to side. “So let me carry it for you.”
“Satoru, I—”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he blinked innocently while surrendering his free hand, “I’m not doing this for you, it’s for the baby. Did you know oxytocin is released and makes you feel good and reduces pain, maybe even stress? We can pump your oxytocin levels through touch. It also lowers your blood pressure, and we want you at your happiest and healthiest for this pregnancy, right?”
“Since when were you an expert on this?”
“Since I found out I’m becoming a dad,” his words struck you speechless, mouth pressed into a flat line as you stared him openly. You hadn’t mean to come off as rude in that moment; you were just trying to gauge the sincerity behind his words, to explore the depth in his eyes, but Satoru must’ve took it wrong as he cleared his throat, “I can let go if you really want me to.”
“N-no! It’s fine…can we move? We’ve been standing here for ten minutes now,” Embarrassed, you pointed to the closest thing in your sight – a photo booth. “How about there? That looks fun.”
Satoru followed where your arm was pointed, laughing when a couple exited the red curtains while giggling amongst themselves. The guy even leaned down to steal a long kiss from his lover, and if you were embarrassed before, you wanted to crawl into a hole and never come back again right now. “You know, if you wanted me to be stuck in a cramped space next to you, you could’ve just said so. I didn’t bring the limo with me, but the Audi could be pretty small for us, I guess…”
You hissed at him in warning, “God, you never shut up do you?”
“It made you smile.”
“I wasn’t smiling!”
“Sure, mommy, whatever you say,” bumping his hip with yours, Satoru led you inside the cube. There were a plethora of filters to choose from; ranging from heart frames and ones that placed shades on your face. Not really thinking of what to pick, you reached out to press the frog hats one, but Satoru was swatting your hands away for the effect with heart emojis everywhere. “This is cute. We can show this to our baby once they’re born.”
“They won’t really know what a Polaroid is, Satoru.”
“It’s still sentimental!” he grumbled before clicking the camera icon, a huge smile already on his face until he saw you squished on the other side of the booth. Only one side of your ear could be seen, and Satoru furrowed his brows at you. “Come closer, you’ll be cropped from the frame.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Jesus, Y/N, don’t act shy now, I already fucked a baby into you,” mouth falling open at the vulgarity of his words, Satoru took the chance to drag you beside him. “Relax, you’re always so stiff. Our baby might come out frowning if you keep huffing like that.”
“You’re too close for comfort.”
“My apologies, I’ll try not to be included in the photo when you’re the one who suggested this in the first place,” he muttered playfully, booping your nose before he wrapped an arm around your shoulder. He was close, too close, that his musky perfume filled the close space. You wanted to lean closer to his warmth and sturdiness of his broad shoulders; his mere presence bringing about a sense of tranquillity despite your words. You told yourself it shouldn’t be too bad to lean into him for just a little while, absentmindedly following him as he cheers, “Smile!”
One photo turned into two, and Satoru ended up inserting a few more bills into the slot to take more. He tried out as many filters as he wanted, acting as if you two had been long time friends from how easy it was for him to be around you like that.
You supposed it came from his heavy experience with women. You were so unlike; while he was open to touch and didn’t care too much about space, you craved it deliriously.
It was obvious none of this meant anything to Satoru. You were probably just another woman in his life, with the exception that you had a kid, but you couldn’t mean something more. If anything, he treated you more like an old friend than a lover. He’d said it himself before that you weren’t his type and you didn’t mind, so why did it hurt the longer you mulled about it? Sure, you may not be as attractive or luxurious as his previous lovers, but did you really not even have charismatic pull? Is it because you weren’t his type that he was so casual with you, while you on the other hand, felt like you would lose your mind at every little thing he did?
You watched as Satoru pulled out his wallet and kept the Polaroid of you both grinning at the camera, forming a silly heart shape with your hands per his request. It was silly and platonic – yet the gesture confused you to no end.
“Why’d you do that?”
Satoru’s hand paused. “Am I not allowed to…?”
“We’re not lovers. You can’t just put a photo of us in your wallet.”
As if to prove a point, Satoru pulled out more photos of his wallet and showed it to you. There were several more wallet-sized photos, mostly of his white cat with black shades, another of him and his best friend, Shoko, and the last photo was of him skiing. They were all placed in his wallet along with a small, faded out photograph of what seemed to be his parents from the younger days. You couldn’t understand why he was showing you this, much less how patient he was as he smiled softly at you. “It’s memorabilia. I keep photos of everyone I care about everywhere with me,” he said, pocketing his wallet back before gazing up at the night sky. “I like to think we’re friends, at least. We’re definitely not just boss and employee anymore.”
Then what are we?
There were so many things you wanted to ask. You always knew he was always this overly friendly and nice, but what did make you? What did a friend mean to him? Other than Shoko, who was his lesbian friend who was also the company’s resident doctor, you’d never seen him be platonic with another female before.
The realization made your mood drop.
Maybe you were right. He probably didn’t even see you as a woman, but what did it matter? You didn’t like him. You shouldn’tlike him. Even if he had no intentions of wooing you, Gojo Satoru was far too appealing for his own good. Being around him was dangerous for your heart.
“Wanna ride the ferris wheel? The night city always looks beautiful.”
He was just your boss...and you were just a friend. Things were going to be alright as long as no feelings were involved. You survived seven years of working with him with not a single moment where your heart fluttered when he spoke your name; a baby made between you shouldn’t change anything now. At the end of the day, you were both only doing this out of responsibility. Satoru was trying his best to become a supportive co-parent to you, and that was all it ever would be. Strictly business – purely professional – as it always had been and always will be.
Foolish girl, you could hear a voice whisper at the back of your head, don’t get too lost in his eyes.
“Y/N, are you tired? Do you want to go home now? We can just order dinner to be delivered if you’re exhausted,” Satoru tugged at your sleeve to get your attention, and you chuckled awkwardly, not meaning to have spaced out the whole time. Worry was written all over his face from the way his brows dipped, stunning blue eyes darkening like the night sky you both made memories under.
Don’t look at me like that...
“Are you okay? Do you wanna go home?”
“Yeah,” you chirped far too brightly than you would’ve liked. Right now, it was more of a mission of fake it til you make it. You would just have to keep exerting the same amount of effort into making this work for the baby’s sake. And if that meant pushing aside any budding desire for this to last any longer to focus on your ‘friendship’, then you would do it. Taking Satoru’s hand for the first time since the baby ordeal, you flashed him a genuine smile. “The ferris wheel sounds nice. Let’s do some sightseeing before the night ends.”
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Neither of you speak inside the cab. Beautiful the night was as the city shone into awakening illumination beneath you, comforting you with the thought that in the grand scheme of it all, you were small. Insignificant. That somehow everything you worried about wouldn’t matter when there was a much bigger world out there, and you were but a fickle dot in the middle of its entirety. But that was you, and Gojo lived in a much different world than you did. For somewhere in the city, you could recognize several of the sky towers, buildings, and establishments owned by his family. He mattered in the grand scheme; you were a small factor in his world.
Glancing back at the man who’d been silent the whole ride, you smiled upon seeing that he was doing the same. Satoru was practically bouncing in his seat as he snapped several photos of the city, mumbling something about he’d never seen this view before.
He was so innocent yet so out there, igniting within you an urge to take care of him and wanting to be taken care of by him.
You’d already accepted that you may just never have him that way. That small, fleeting crush was like a butterfly – pretty look at, but damn near impossible to catch. You’d already stopped crying yourself to sleep over the new changes brought about in your body, that in a few months’ time, you’d look back into everything and see that everything had changed. The mistakes you made that night were still something you regretted because you wished you could’ve done better, but seeing him right in front of you now, there was only gratefulness blooming within. Grateful that he was right by your side, grateful that at least the father of your child was more than capable of giving them a comfortable life, grateful that he didn’t push you away like you expected.
Acting more on impulse than logic, you leaned over to press your lips on his cheek.“Thank you,” you mumbled, eyes closed as you let your lips stay there for a few more seconds.
His skin was warm underneath your touch, and when you opened your eyes, Satoru was gazing up at you with stars twinkling in the vast galaxy he called his eyes. You smiled at his reaction, watching as he reached a palm out to caress that spot your lips had landed.“For what?”
“For everything,” you crumbled,“You’re not a bad person, Satoru, I know that,” with shuddered breaths, tears sprung at the back of your eyes again. “I’m sorry for being so difficult. I just need time to adjust to…well, all of this.” Your voice cracked at the last sentence and you were crying before you knew it, face hidden behind your palms in fear he’d look at you differently. In his eyes, you were always his stoic secretary who didn’t even bat an eye when people gave you backlash after Satoru hired you despite the lack of a college degree.
This all felt new – to cry, to trust, to rely on someone – and there was a flurry of emotions you couldn’t quite place yet.
Scooping you into his arms, Satoru patted your back as your cries grew louder. “Take all the time you need. We don’t have to rush into anything at all.”
In the harsh world of conglomerates where the laws of business blurred thinner and thinner with each day, it was hard to believe that not rushing into anything would be possible. It was always a flurry of hurried phone calls, frantic preparations for emergency meetings, anxiety over presenting new proposals and hoping that your superiors would sign your documents so you could go about your way. Time was as imperative as money was to them, but Satoru had proved he could be beyond that.
From the moment you met him, he never treated time as if it was something that slipped through his fingertips. He enjoyed every second he had of his life, and perhaps that was why you hated him so much in the first place.
You thought he took everything for granted, when in reality, all he did was bask in the little things life offered.
This much, at least, you trusted him with. If he said there would be no need to rush and you could both take it slow, he meant it. Around him, time felt more like a secret whisper than a treasure you both had to seize to protect. The night drifted off until it was already midnight and the crew was ushering all visitors out. You and Satoru made it home safely and quietly, hands linked together as if it was the most natural thing ever. No rush, you kept telling yourself, and you plopped down on the couch heavily as you let your muscles relax from such a long, eventful day.
You stayed there for a solid minute or so when you felt warm hands take your heels off. Opening your eyes, Satoru kneeled before you, his fingers expertly rubbing and pushing against the sore muscles of your feet. “Wh-what are you doing?”
“Your feet must be tired from all that walking,” he mumbled, looking up briefly to meet your eyes and tease your shoulder back. “Lean back for me. I’ll take care of you.”
Judging by the sentiment behind his smile, you figured it wouldn’t be harmful to enjoy this at least once. You’ve never gotten foot massages before but his hands kneading yours felt heavenly. You knew from experience beforehand that Satoru was quite godly when it came to the skills and magic his fingers brought, though this one was on a different level, and you were sinking deeper into the couch from the bliss. He was right; you were tired, and if having your boss massage you like this every night after dragging you wherever he pleased, then you wouldn’t complain.
The ringing of your phone made you sit up abruptly, surprising Satoru whose head you almost knocked into. “Sorry,” you croaked out sheepishly, “It’s my dad. I need to take this.”
“Do you need me to leave you alone?”
“Uh, no, you’re fine.”
Satoru gestured to your foot as you took the call, mouthing, “Should I continue?”
“Yes, please,” you answered back, palm pressed over the mic before you answered. “Hey, Dad!” Your father greeted you back with much enthusiasm, his energy heard even by Satoru who sent you small smiles and curious glances every now and then. A part of you wanted to ask if he was fine kneeling on the floor like that, but his knees were on the fur carpet anyway that it shouldn’t hurt him. He extended your leg and trailed up your calves, pulling a soft moan from you when he kneaded the flesh and rid it of its knots. His ministrations distracted you until you were nodding absentmindedly to your Dad every now and then, not really paying attention to what he was saying.
Then the call ended, and his last words kept ringing back into your head ominously. Satoru took quick notice of this as he tapped your knee, bringing your attention back to him. “Is something wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I...” you started, helplessly fumbling around Satoru. “My dad is in Tokyo. He said he wants to have dinner with me.”
“You don’t look particularly happy about that. Do you not want to meet your father?”
“I do but...”
“But?”
“I have to tell him about this,” you shivered, refracting your legs back to the couch until his touch disappeared from your skin. For a moment, you had the urge to crawl back to his heat, but you were restless, agitated. “About us. He’s going to want to meet you and I don’t want to hide the pregnancy from him either,” Satoru remained unmoving as you rambled, and you hid your face behind your arms again as you remembered the rules you asked him to follow. “Listen, I’m sorry if I sound unfair right now, I know I said I didn’t want anyone else knowing—”
Warm lips brushed over your knuckles, large hands peeling your wrists to reveal your face. “Hey, it’s fine. He’s family and you can tell him. It’s not like your Dad would ruin your image or something like you expected to happen.”
“He won’t but...” you frowned, “My dad isn’t going to like this. I can’t guarantee he’ll be civil the whole time, especially towards you.”
“You told him about me?”
“A few years ago, yeah, when I still couldn’t tolerate you.”
“So you can tolerate me now?”
“Only a little bit,” you corrected, pushing his hands away as you opened your phone to check your schedule. It was mostly Satoru’s schedule, truth be told, but you were free for the most part tomorrow. Satoru could just longue back in his office while you clocked out early to meet your dad. “You don’t have to go if you don’t want to. On second thought, he doesn’t have to know at all. I’m only a few weeks in and it’s not like he’ll notice—”
“Y/N,” Satoru interrupted you, rudely snatching his phone from your shaking fingers. You would’ve scolded him had he not sounded so worried. “I did promise I would take responsibility for you, right? I want to meet your dad and introduce myself properly. As a father-to-be, I think I can somewhat understand that he might react strongly to this, but I also need to reassure him you’re in safe hands,” taking your hand in his, Satoru leaned into your palm, the smile he wore way too charming than what your heart could handle. “As long as you’re okay with it, I would like to meet him.”
“I’m sorry if he does something stupid.”
“Don’t be,” he reassured with a chuckle. “I’m sure everything will go well.”
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It didn’t go well. Your father wasn’t throwing a fit or causing a scene like you originally feared, but the current situation wasn’t any better either. He looked like he was on the verge of tearing Satoru’s head apart, his grip on the bread knife so tight his knuckles flashed white. Your father was the literal definition of unpredictable and out of nervousness, you held Satoru’s hand under the table for comfort.
In complete opposition of yours, Satoru handled it with class and composure. His head was ducked down in respect, making sure to be curt and precise in counters to your father’s harsh accusations.
“I’m really sorry for everything, Sir.”
“Did you ruin my daughter’s life?”
Satoru finally tilted his head back up to look your father in the eye, both your hands turning cold and sweaty in between the seats. “Pardon?”
“I asked if you ruined my daughter’s life by getting her pregnant.”
“I would never intend for that to happen, Sir,” Satoru straightened up. From your perspective, he looked every bit the man parents would want their children to be with – handsome, elegant, educated, polite, respectful and well-off – but your father was no ordinary parent. He sized Satoru up like a predator hunting his prey even as the latter acted cool about it. “Granted, it was an accident and neither of us are prepared for this, but I promise I’ll take care of her. I take responsibility as the father and you have nothing to worry about.”
Your dad slammed his palms down on the table, the loud smack catching the attention of nearby tables. “How dare you tell me I have nothing to worry about?”
“Dad, please don’t do this.”
“No, he needs to know,” he snapped. Unable to help it, you groaned inwardly and scooted closer to Satoru, knowing where this was leading. “I lost her mother right after she was born; raised her by myself when I was barely out from high school. Rich men like you may never understand the struggles of taking care of a baby all by yourself, but I did everything I could to make sure she grew up well. My daughter had a happy, comfortable life. When she told me she wanted to follow her dreams in Tokyo, I supported her, and then you go take everything away from her because you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself? You dare defile her like that?”
“Dad!” you roared, clutching Satoru’s hand who’d gone limp. “It was equally my responsibility as it is his! I wanted this; we both got carried away but we’re doing our best, so please stop being difficult to us.”
“You wanted this?” he laughed dryly, “A child with this man you kept moaning to me about; the same man who went to clubs every night while he left you all by yourself to work, to clean up his mess from him? You wanted him?”
“Dad,” you gritted your teeth, nails sinking down onto your thigh. Satoru remained silent between you both, although you could feel his burning gaze penetrating through the back of your skull. “It’s both our mistake. But this child...we don’t see it as that. We like to view it as a blessing. It may be true we harbour no affection for one another, but we want to be good parents. That’s all you need to know and I find no reason to explain myself to you. If you have nothing else to say, you can go back home. I’ll pay for your ride,” slamming down a few bills his way, you glared at your father, who shrunk back at the anger radiating off of you. “You’re not welcome here, Dad. Just go back home.”
“I’m just worried for you.”
“You don’t have to. I’m not a little kid anymore.”
“I never said you were,” he sighed, rubbing the sides of his temples. “But he just took all your opportunities away from you! What about your dreams? What about your plan of having your own career once you have enough experience? What about—”
“Are you implying that because I’m pregnant, suddenly I’m not qualified to fulfil my goals?”
“Sir,” Satoru cut you off, releasing your hands as he leaned forwards on the table, becoming more and more like the CEO he was trained to be – all authority and gentle command that won the hearts of multiple investors. “I assure you that I won’t be holding your daughter back from the things she wants to achieve. As her co-parent, I’m perfectly capable of supporting her in the dreams she wishes to achieve. I’ve worked with her for years; I know she can reach for the stars if she wanted.”
Your mind blanked.
“Young man, don’t talk to me as if you know my daughter better than I do,” your father scorned, “I’m not questioning your capability to support her, but what about your credibility? How can you assure me you’ll really be there for her? How can you assure me you won’t leave my daughter stranded in the middle of nowhere? How can you assure me you can protect her from the harsh criticism of society? Money can’t provide nor does it solve anything,” your father copied his gesture by leaning forward, but it was to poke Satoru’s chest. “From what I’ve heard about you, I suppose you understand perfectly well why I don’t trust you.”
“Sir, I do plan on marrying your daughter and to give her the life she deserves,” Satoru confessed, effectively stealing from you the ability to speak as he glimpsed your way. “If she lets me.”
“You’ll marry her? Be faithful to her as your wife and have a family? Are you sure you can do that?”
“Yes, Sir, I’m highly confident I can. I’ll make sure of it.”
“Then that’s all I need to know,” your father leaned back in your seat, arms crossed against his chest and a stern expression on his face. “And if I find out you hurt or make my daughter cry in any way, I’ll beat up that pretty face of yours. I have two more sons that’re willing to do the same, if you don’t watch your actions.”
Satoru beamed at your father’s ‘approval.’ “I’ll face any consequence if I fall short on my duties, Sir, but I assure you, it will never have come to that.”
“So we’ve come to an agreement?”
The two men linked and shook hands across the table, completely disregarding the fact you were right beside him. You were beyond appalled, but mostly hurt that you’d been reduced to this way. And they were unaware of it, too, sickening and satisfied yet tense smiles were masked on their faces as they decided your future.
You stood up and left the restaurant.
You kept walking as fast as you could in the cold night, hands shoved into the coat of your pockets. Thousands of pin needles pricked at your heart and your skin the more you replayed the memory in your head. How stupid were you to think that Satoru would be different? And marriage? Was he serious? It all made you sick to the core to the point you wanted to throw up and disappear, until a heavy set of footsteps echoed behind you and tugged your wrist.
“Y/N, wait!” Satoru panted, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. “What’s wrong with you? You just up and left—”
“Seriously, Satoru, you’re asking me that?” your face fell flat at his cluelessness, “What’s wrong with you? You men are sickening; planning my entire future like that right in front of me as if I don’t have a say in what I want. None of you asked if I’m okay with this. You really went ahead deciding we’ll get married when I told you already, I don’t want to marry you and I never will!”
Satoru brushed a hand over his hair, a hand on his hip. You could tell his patience was being tested – after being verbally harassed by your father and now with you pushing back in the same heat, it was only a matter of time before he lost his cool. Surprisingly enough, however, his voice remained levelled as he sighed. “What did you expect me to do back there? Tell your father that we’re just going to be roommates and raise a child together as if we’re not already family?” he defended, words slow and pronounced with a hint of hurt behind them. “I respect you and I truly do want to be with you, that’s why I wanted us to get married.”
“You respect me?” you laughed incredulously, “Are you hearing yourself right now? No person respects another by deciding what happens to my life without my consent!”
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask, okay? I apologize for it and I acknowledge my mistake that I didn’t give you much of a choice. Me being cornered and pressured isn’t a good excuse, but I wasn’t lying when I said I want to take care of you and—”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why do you want to be with me?” you demanded, “Why do you want to take care of me so badly? How did you even take this so well? You weren’t even that angry when I told you I was pregnant.”
Satoru paled. “Was I supposed to be? Should I have pushed you away and kicked you out my life? Is that what you wanted me to do, or is that what you expected from me, considering you’ve made it extremely clear I’m nothing but your airheaded boss and a man who always wants his dick wet, right?” the sting of his words pricked you both – you with your guilt, and him with his pride crushed. But he didn’t let on, didn’t waver and didn’t match your anger as his chest shook with impatience. “I’m trying to be good to you; I want to be good for you and the baby because despite what you think of me, I’m not the devil the tabloids make me out to be. I sleep around, yeah, but I wouldn’t go so far to turn someone away especially when I know I’m supposed to be there.”
“Satoru, if you’re only doing this out of obligation, you can be a good father without marrying me. Marriage is not a requirement; I don’t care what people say that I got pregnant without getting married. That’s the least of my concern, I just want the baby to grow up healthy but I don’t want to be involved with you.”
With how stunned Satoru looked, one would’ve thought you slapped him right in the face. That mere sight of seeing your boss tear his walls down in front of you almost made you feel bad, but you had to be strong.
You had to be firm with what you stood for.
“I really don’t want to be with you, Satoru. I’m so sorry.”
“What do you want me to do?” his voice cracked, begging and pleading as he stood before you, looking every bit of a man lost in uncharted territory. “I don’t know what you want me to do, Y/N. One moment, you’re telling me you want me to be a good father, and then the next you’re pushing me away. People are so sure that I’m a man who can never settle down because they believe I have commitment issues, but I’m telling you I can commit to you right now,” he held your hand, rubbing some of his warmth at your comparably cold ones. You didn’t fail to notice that he was trembling, but what about what you couldn’t decipher. “Are you really sure I’m the one here who isn’t capable of that? What are you so scared of that you can’t trust me?”
“Because you’re you! Because you’re a fucking asshole who’s been treating me like I’m an overworking machine and always expects me to undo your shit for you! Because you make me sick and I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know what love means!” Exploded. You exploded. “I regret everything that happened between us that night. No, in fact, I regret ever meeting you at all.”
Satoru took a step back.
All the light and joy that fit so perfectly with him had now disappeared.
“I’m sorry,” he demurred, “I’m sorry that I’d been so repulsive that you’ve felt miserable for all this time. I’m sorry I haven’t been a decent boss and I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.”
“Gojo, stop. Stop doing that; stop apologizing!”
“Then tell me what you want me to do,” he barked desperately. “Because I can’t read your mind and I just want to be good for you.”
“What if I don’t want you to? I don’t want you to be good to me, I don’t want you to care about me. Be there for the baby, but don’t involve yourself too much in my personal life. Stop asking me to marry you because you and I would never work out. We’re impossible, okay?”
“How do you know we’ll never work out when we haven’t even tried?” he pushed, “You never even gave me a chance.”
“You’re not worth that chance.”
If someone could receive an award for effortlessly trampling over someone repeatedly, you would’ve been crowned winner a long time ago. You had no idea what came over you as you spat all those hurtful words to Satoru, but did your words bear no truth? The fact that he no longer defended himself meant he also knew that he wasn’t worth it – that he wasn’t someone to be trusted. It wasn’t that you were completely unfair too; of course you considered it. Weeks of living under the same roof as him and you most definitely considered it. Say you did get married and became a real family – what then? It wasn’t a marriage out of love, but rather out of responsibility and obligation.
As much as you loved your child, you couldn’t imagine throwing away your future and living miserable for the rest of your life like that.
A life built on lies wasn’t a life worth living.
“I would never hurt you.”
Your heart cracked. After everything you said, after all your efforts to keep him away from your own safety, after all the hurtful things you’ve done to him, and he was still apologizing? Why did he have to make it so hard to let go? You were tired, so tired that you could no longer refrain your lip from quivering as tears caked your face.
“Gojo, please, don’t—”
“So if me stepping away from your life is what would really make you happy, then I’ll respect it. But there’s one thing I have to ask,” Satoru swiped a thumb under your eye to catch the tear. His smile was forlorn, his touch cold and words melancholic. “Do you want the baby? Do you...want to keep the baby and be a mother? You don’t have to do anything for me, I just want to know if the mother of my child even wants to be one. And please be honest, because everything you say right now are words that I’ll mark seriously.”
The word left your mouth before you could stop it.
“No.”
“No what?”
“I don’t want to be a mother,” you admitted, hands trailing over your belly. It felt like you were betraying your own child, but you hadn’t planned this. “I’m too young, Satoru, I-I’m not ready for this. With you there beside me or not, I really don’t want this.”
“Then,” he cleared his throat, turning his head to the side to catch a moment. You swore you saw his eyes shine under the city lights with tears, but it was gone so soon that you might’ve just fooled yourself with it. Once he deemed himself ready to talk, Satoru took a deep breath. “Do I have your consent that once the baby is born...it’ll be under my care? Would you prefer to reach your own dreams, then? You’ll never have to be a part of the Gojo family if it’s really not what you want, even though I could support you as much as you need me to.”
Your eyes widened at his proposition. “You’ll take care of our baby?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Can I...can I visit them, at least, once in a while?” It was more than just your heart that broke that night. There was no telling whether you’d hurt yourself in the long run with this decision. It was no easy choice to make – to actively pursue your dreams somewhere else more than being a mother. You wanted to do your best, of course you did, but it wasn’t that easy. Gojo didn’t have to tell you for you to understand that once you married him, you’d be expected to run the business with him and be involved in his family and their dramas. Now that wasn’t a life you wanted.
“You’re free to visit them whenever,” he promised, voice fading even lower into the background. “So is this it? We’ll just be living under the same roof until the baby is born and once they’re here...”
“We’ll part ways.”
“We’ll part ways,” he nodded in agreement, sniffling for a brief second before fixing his tie. The Gojo Satoru you got to know for a few weeks had now disappeared. Not even the goofy boss you spent seven years with could be found in the coldness of his eyes, almost as if he’d put up such impenetrable walls around him and nothing could pass through. The sudden shift in aura made your heart clench as he offered his hand to shake. “Okay. Let’s stay professional until then?”
“Yeah, Sir, I can do that,” your hands shook as you enclosed it around his, but now all the warmth had disappeared – from his eyes, his touch, his soul. It hurt, but this was necessary. It was what felt right. “Thank you – for everything.”
“You’re welcome. Anything for you and the baby,” Satoru proclaimed, perplexing you both when he suddenly pulled you in his arms. Just like that, the dam broke, and you were staining his precious suit before you could stop it. His arms rubbed up and down your back the longer he held you there, almost like a final moment to lean on one another before you had to say goodbye eventually. Beneath your palm, his heart beat exuberantly loud, so much so that you might’ve heard the prayers it whispered. “Stop crying now. The baby might feel sad too. We’ll both be alright – we just have to get through this.”
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dailytatsu · 3 years ago
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Hello! I saw request were open so i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the Archons and/or the Adepti meeting a God reader who is the God of Chaos and destruction. The reader is not a Archon tho and travels all over Teyvat cuz small bits of destruction were ever they go. They're pretty mischievous and somewhat smug but despite how they act they're actually a good person. They dont mean to cause problems(most of the time anyways) chaos follows them were ever they go. Idk if you have a character limit but if you do please tell me so i wont make a mistake again. And if there is you can just do Zhongli and Xiao. Optionally could you make them a dendro user, there not a lot of dendro content and if not thats fine. I understand. Could you make the reader Gn or Non-binary they/them pronouns please? If not male reader is totally fine. Im so sorry for the long post and I hope you have a good day/night!
Ohmy, it’s my first time just writing headcanons! I’m use to write a lot, so let’s hope I did it right (^ ^' )7
Thanks for the request! ✨
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[HC] God of Chaos! Reader and the Archons + Xiao
Characters: Zhongli, Xiao, Venti, Shogun Raiden (Ei).
Gn! Reader
I tried doing it with everyone but I’m no still that confident to try writing with some characters _| ̄|○
Sorry for any mistakes!
Request are open!
Genshin Masterlist
Second part ->
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VENTI
To be honest, he didn't notice your presence at first. He had other concerns on his mind that day to perceive the chaotic (and slightly threatening) aura that Mondstadt was infected with that day.
Barbatos is a person of habit, so he couldn't help but be curious when the crowd in front of him began to look a little agitated instead of seeming to enjoy his lyre and his songs.
But then a series of domino events appeared in front of his very eyes.
The purity of the chaos was such that he felt overwhelmed, even without the white-haired boy around, if it wasn’t Bennett fault, then how was it possible for everything to be ruined in such a short time?
His patience ended when, out of nowhere, the strings of his lyre jumped close to his face as they snapped. Making that awful noise that couldn’t mean nothing good.
Okay, enough, who is messing around in here? No more joking in his nation!
He concentrated a little, a faint but unique presence kept his nerves on edge, as if he was being watched from afar. He moved away from the busy areas and then chased that ephemeral energy to the highest point of the church, where the bells were ringing in an irregular and stressful way.
Then he found you. Snoozing against one of the columns, somewhat tired because the trip you made to reach Mondstadt.
Surprisingly, Barbatos understood you since the first exchange of words. A god of chaos who was also a free spirit, you followed no rules ever written in Teyvat, and you had no plans to apologize for the mess you made.
Both of you were Zhongli’s worst nightmare, but that’s another story.
He managed to through your arrogance and your teasing nature that you, in fact, were a lonely spirit that liked to witness the life from above of everyone.
The difference between teasing someone accidentally and committing a crime was really visible, but he still couldn't help but feel like he should scold you after your mere presence messed up with the guild's baskets full of fish.
But hey! He also enjoy the company! Venti tried to teach you how to enjoy the calm and the whisper of wind, music can also contain chaos, feelings, old stories waiting to be told again, expressions and desire united, in a wonderful piece of-
As you yawned his lyre broke up again. Making clear the message.
Okay, not even God of Freedom and Wind can control chaos. Anyways, what a tragedy, but there’s nothing a simple bard can do, smh.
“Do you like kids, don’t you?” He said once, after a nice day of hearing him sing before your chaos reached his little concert. Again watching everyone from above on the hands of the statue, with your attention caught by some kids playing tag.
“… I don’t know what do you mean.” Once discovered you had no choice but to remain defensive, pretending to be disinterested.
“Heh, you aren’t a good liar.” It may not be the wisest thing to make fun of someone who could destroy the place where you were resting, but Venti was confident that he knew you well enough to know that you were not so explosive. “You know!, I just have some pieces, but I think it’s because they are little walking concentrations of pure and innocent chaos, am I wrong?”
He wasn’t, no at all. But you would never confess something that embarrassing.
This guy wrote a ballad about the days when Mondstadt got immerse with that strike of bad luck. Kind of an apology of not being able to handle the situation.
Now there’s the rumor that says that, every time somebody sings that song, something unlucky will happen in front of you.
The song is cursed.
One night when the moon was shining on the Cider Lake his well tuned ears distinguished a melody that was broken from time to time by the accidents of his performer, distracting him of his way to look for you.
It could be painful to listen to, but Venti could certainly feel the dedication of the one who was playing the imperfect song.
The ballad of the god of chaos, hummed like a lullaby that instead of making you sleep makes you question the events of the day. Wishing for the slightest thing to be different after an exhaustive week of peace and tranquility.
A lonely spirits cursing their existence, sitting in the highest point of a stranger’s palace, where you can reach the sky by only rising your hand.
The next day, Barbatos invited you to drink some wine, this time near Windrise to avoid accidents in the city.
As he almost dropped the bottle when a lot of slimes were attracted by your presence, he confirmed the theory about that the way to spend time with you would not be his personal definition of hanging out.
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ZHONGLI
Okay, there’s only two scenarios that could happened when you set a foot in Liyue.
Old man has a soft spot for you for being a relative young deity.
Or he’s always lecturing you for not having control of your aura and powers.
How u dare bringing chaos to the nation of order? It’s that a death wish?
Jokes aside, you’re not really a threat. And he could sense that after he saw how you tried to avoid having direct contact with the city. Rex Lapis found your silhouette jumping and crossing through the mountains until reaching the fairest point that allowed you to enjoy the view of the streets that were filled with life and light as the sunsets.
He even noticed how you sighed in frustration when a storm started out of nowhere. A rain dedicated just for the arriving of the God of Chaos. Not even bothering of getting shield, you stayed in your place to look at all the people who were getting back to their places.
The rain seemed to stop over your head, for a second was enough to stop you from being cruelly swamped by the very weather you had created. An elegant umbrella covered you, the long awaited surprise you expected from someone as outdated as Morax.
You looked up, and found his expression calm and attentive, watching you. As if he had made a great discovery that he could not believe
“May I have a moment of your time to keep you company? Letting out your sorrows in the middle of a torrential storm is not what I would recommend as way to spend a good day.”
“… What are you talking about? Get in your own business, old man.”
“Well, you should know that a sorrow shared is a sorrow halved.”
Next time you knew was that he was helping you to dry your hair with a towel once you let him guide you to his place.
Zhongli picked you up like a abandoned cat that day. Even if having you near meant to deal with new the roof leaks.
Also kept you away from Hu Tao, if you two ever get along for being partners in crime he would seal himself underground-
For all the time you spend exploring Liyue, there he was. Like a little kid showing his treasures. But also like a worried father looking after his child for them not to stumble making their first steps.
Look at you! Almost crushing those Treasure Hoarders when a bunch of rocks fell down after you jumped at the edge of the cliff.
Wait, no- come back here! You should verify the surroundings and be aware of the weight of your power if you’re going to explore in that bold way. You, chaotic brat.
Another one who believed fervently that your mood was to blame for the constant chaos you caused. He also tried to show you the wonders of peace and calm, teaching you how to prepare tea while listening to the storyteller (also both being a little far away from the rest of them, just in case).
He couldn’t help but sigh when the teapot arm broke as soon as you tried to serve the tea. What a waste, he thought.
You apologized to him, kind of stressed with yourself after you took all the pieces with your bare hands to run away with them. Leaving a confused Zhongli behind.
Next day you were back, with the teapot repaired and just like new.
He let out a lot of thankful words, some flattering and a lot more cheesy things that you never had received before.
With that unexpected affection you couldn’t help but react flustered; then a cat that was chasing a bird jumped through a lot of decorations and merchandise, almost starting a fire as the chained events kept going.
Yeah,, uh, Zhongli got some useful mental notes about you and your chaos that day.
Hey, before you go, want to make a contract? You won’t regret it!
But as the wandering spirit you were you had no problems in reject his offer, but also promising that you would visit Liyue if he wanted you to.
Of course he wanted! But.. maybe next time you should stay in Huaguang Stone Forest instead of roaming near the city,,
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XIAO
Tried to kill you.
I mean, your aura is threatening and full of a destructive energy, how is possible that you weren’t a demon to eradicate??
Sorry, but he had a point.
Your first met was on your way to reach Huaguang Stone Forest along with Zhongli for introduce you with the Adeptus.
Xiao, in the other side, thought that you were about to attack Morax from behind, so he just struck against you. With his polearm near to go through your chest, just stopped because you felt him before.
Lifting your hand at his direction, summoning chaos, this time, on purpose. The wind gained a wrathful nature and the biggest roots that were hiding under his feet rose to caught him.
And when you were about to hit each other Zhongli’s shield appeared just in time to separate both of you. Preventing a real catastrophic event.
Now stop fighting and introduce to each other.
Nice(n’t) to meet u.
What if you tried to awake Azhdaha to bring chaos and destruction to Liyue? What if you wanted to summoned Osial? What if… ?
Zhongli had to confirm and promise to him that those cruel possibilities won’t be a near future for respecting the real reason of your travel.
No matter if he wasn’t comfortable with your presence, it wasn’t his decision to allow you to roam freely, so he had to get use to it.
He immediately knew after hearing about your nature that was your fault that lately there were a lot more demons and monsters. Even his karma was getting more painful than usual.
(If you ever meet Hu Tao, please think twice before doing Xiao a prank)
You both didn’t interact a lot, and being honest, it was better that way.
He hadn’t a single intention of talking with you again until the day you were practicing the song that your Anemo friend taught you. By the other hand, Xiao noticed that the melody had the same nature as the one he once heard before being consumed by the karma.
It wasn’t a flute, but a worn lyre that was still in one piece after weeks of being repaired again and again.
“That song… ”
“Do you know it?” Xiao just nodded, staying in silence, being your very first audience even if you still have a lot to learn about playing a lyre.
It wasn’t as effective as the original, but was still… nice, kind of nostalgic.
Next morning, the Yaksha called for you. Made you stay still in the middle of a plain and then he disappeared of your sight.
He abandoned y- wait, what’s that? Why those monsters has that weird dark aura?
You were about to defend yourself until Xiao appeared back just in time to defeat them.
That day you became his personal bait for demons and monsters. Naturally you attracted chaos, so anyway you were, there will be also something to fight.
I guess this is your way to pay for all the troubles you made for him and his duty, so no complaining about it.
If you ask for a unexpected experience to Ganyu she would said that once she found both of you fighting along against the catastrophe, looking after each other’s back and almost having a perfect synchrony.
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SHOGUN RAIDEN; EI
Also tried to kill you.
Well, the puppet tried to.
And then Ei tried when you had the opportunity of facing her.
But since killing a god just mean the releasing of a lot, pure, energy she couldn’t afford that risk, much less considering your “speciality”.
Who knows what would happen to Inazuma if your vital energy burst across the nation. Just like that old story about Sal Terrae and their goddess.
She just defeated you. Letting you rest and recovering in the midst of the plane of her reality within her mind. Your inert body in the middle of the battlefield as she kept meditating.
When you woke up she ignored your presence, but also denying your complaints about letting you go out back.
In her words, you were a burden, another enemy of eternity. Something as unpredictable as you and your “accidents” couldn’t get along with her utopia.
Ei could banish you from Inazuma, but she knows your type. Stubborn and not accepting the most simple orders to obey.
She knew that you would found a way to be back.
It’s better like this.
And in the hypothetical case of you being freed when she trapped the traveler (kicking you out) and then having a chance to see her again after the end of the war, then things would be somewhat different.
There’s not that much of civilization on some islands, so she allowed you to explore as much as your heart wanted. But if something serious happen, she promised that would end her work in the middle of the sea so your remains never be found.
Okay, message clear. Just do chaos near monsters and bandits, got it,,
Even if she wanted to spend some time with you and telling you some stories about Inazuma and other gods she couldn’t found the right time to call you at her presence.
As the current ruler of Inazuma she was busier than the rest of Archons you have meet. Maybe just some letters now and then like a way to keep a logbook, but not really a face to face talk.
Until she got the opportunity of a day off, just to found you messing around near some ruins. Trying to solve a puzzle before your speciality strikes in. The structure fell down after your fingertips reached the stone.
When the dust dissipated, you discovered her figure judging you from the other side of the remain ruins.
Give her a good reason for not errase you from the map, I dare u.
You felt the worst was about to come when Ei ordered you to follow her after a long sigh. Crossing her arms and starting to walk away from the bunch of old and worn rock.
Plot Twist, she actually invited you to rest under a tree, asking in her serene voice the reason for your journey and your origin. In such a direct way that it seemed more like a sentence than a talk to get to know each other better.
You answered what you could remember and then the silence stayed like the only way of interaction between you two.
Ohno, you know this pattern. Something’s about to happen-
“There is some strange beauty in the chaos, it may be the calm after the storm, but the catastrophe itself is seen as a necessary evil to appreciate the stillness. How much it would last until the lighting hit the valley?”
“So I arrived to keep order between the humans?”
Well yes, but actually no.
“… You see, if there is nothing but order and a lack of problems, mortals are likely to create them on their own. Their minds feels the need to be tested, to prove their worth, so I guess some of your chaos may be part of the history.”
“… then shall we take a walk in Inazuma?” You did not know if you were right, but you thought you saw a faint smile through his lips in the same way that lightning can be seen in the sky.
“I’ll allow it.” She said.
Her only condition was for you not to approach the huge boxes of fireworks down the street.
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years ago
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Imagine if Meng Shi begged and bargained and collected favors till she was able to send her A-Yao to education with the Lan Sect, perhaps even become a cultivator with them. Would he take that change? Would he become a rogue cultivator? Would the strict rules help curb his inner muderimpuls or enrage him or teach him to hide better?
A Good Fit - ao3
“The…Lan sect?” Meng Yao said doubtfully. “Are you sure?”
“I am sure,” his mother said, her mouth tight. She looked upset, the way she always did these days when he referenced, intentionally or otherwise, the original plan that she had had to send him to join his father, sect leader of Lanling Jin. She’d raised Meng Yao on a steady diet of stories of what his life would be like when his father finally took him back the way he’d promised her he would, stories that had filled his days and nights for years and years and years, and then just last year she’d suddenly stopped talking about it entirely. It was as if the person who’d told those stories had nothing to do with her.
Meng Yao didn’t know what had happened, but he assumed it must have been pretty bad.
“It'll be a good fit,” she added.
“Then I’ll go to the Lan sect,” he said, and pretended not see the way his mother relaxed a little, relieved that he wasn’t asking too many questions. “I’ve heard they are gentlemen there, righteous but gentle; it will be the best match for my personality, I’m sure.”
A lie, of course. ‘Gentlemen’ were just as likely to come to the brothel as brutes, and they were all the same once they had a cup of wine and a beauty in their arms – Meng Yao tried not to have any illusions.
“Can we afford it?” he asked instead, since that was something he was sure his mother would have thought of, would have expected him to ask. “Gusu is so far away…”
“I have obtained a letter from the local sect recommending you to their sect leader, Lan Qiren,” she said. “He’s the one that teaches the classes – the one that sent out the summons asking the subsidiary sects to look for individuals with raw talent to join his classes and offering them an extra seat for their sects for each nameless orphan they find that lives up to Lan sect standards. Only the Heavens know why he’s doing something like that…I assume they’re trying to expand.”
That seemed like the most reasonable explanation. Meng Yao nodded. “So I’ll be traveling with the local sect?”
“That’s right,” his mother said, and raised her chin a little. “At least this much, your mother was able to do for you.”
She’d begged and bargained and traded favors for it, then, Meng Yao thought, and yet taking him along was to their own benefit: if they were looking for inherited cultivation talent sufficient for the Lan sect, then the bastard son of another Great Sect leader would be a better bet than some random nobody. She’d probably humiliated herself for nothing.
“Will you come with me?” he asked, more concerned with that – it was too easy for women of ill repute to disappear into the depths of the city if they didn’t have someone to watch out for them.
Even someone as young as he was. He wished he was older.
“You can come back to visit me during the Spring Festival,” she said, which meant no. “I’ll be all right, A-Yao.”
Meng Yao wasn’t so sure.
Still, not having him around would at least remove a visible reminder of his mother’s age – she’d been kicked out of the better brothels because of him, because no one wanted a woman who was a mother. Leaving would at least do that for her.
“I’ll write,” he finally said. “I’ll write as often as they let me.”
“And I’ll write back,” she promised him, kissing his cheek. “I promise.”
With that, Meng Yao supposed he had to be satisfied.
-
The Lan sect was both exactly like what Meng Yao expected and absolutely nothing at all like anything he could have dreamt.
For the first, his cynicism was almost immediately confirmed: the boys raised there were snobby as anything, looking down at the rest of them as little better than barbarians, and many of the adults were the same way. It was clear that this whole business of recruiting talented nobodies was a project of the sect leader’s – the interim sect leader, no less, not even the real thing – and nobody else’s; they were only just barely going along with it. Adding to that the fact that there were dozens if not hundreds of rules, and Meng Yao could glumly foresee a future of having his lack of knowledge held over his head as a fault, even with his marvelous memory to act as his backing.
For the second…
Well, there was Lan Xichen, who was – as unbelievable as it seemed – to actually embody all those things that people said about gentlemen, all kindness and gentleness and fierce upright pride, except only for real. There was Lan Wangji, who was basically perfect in every way and kinder than he gave the impression he was, willing to help tutor anyone who asked if only they dared disturb his solitude long enough to do so. There was the boy Meng Yao shared a room with, Su She, who’d punched the boy from the Yunping cultivator clan in the mouth for calling Meng Yao a son of a whore and pretended it was because they weren’t allowed to talk about that sort of thing, when actually it’d been because he hadn’t wanted rumors to get around that might make Meng Yao’s life harder in the future.
There was Lan Qiren, who was strict and a little boring but fair, painfully fair, handing out punishments with an equitable hand no matter that it meant that he was punishing the locals as often if not more often. It’d been his idea to bring people like Meng Yao into the Lan sect, and defending the idea was the only time he truly seemed moved to passion. Now that they’d passed the initial examination and been judged to match Lan sect standards, Lan Qiren announced, as far as he was concerned, they were Lan sect just as if they were born there, as if they’d been children of his own.
And he even seemed to really believe it, too.
Today, Meng Yao’s head was still warm from when the stern Teacher Lan had put his hand there, gentle and approving, and his ears still burning from the murmured “Well done, Meng Yao, as expected.”
“I think I would kill someone for him,” Meng Yao said dreamily to Su She, who snorted.
“You’ve got such father issues,” he said disdainfully, as if he didn’t have entire family issues. That was just Su She’s way, though – he bitched and moaned and complained without end, and he’d probably kill someone for Meng Yao if Meng Yao so much as hinted it was something he’d want. They’d made friends for a reason. “You know the bit about the poor kids being his own children is a lie, right?”
“I know which sect’s leader is my father, thanks,” Meng Yao said, rolling his eyes. “I’m well aware it’s not Teacher Lan. Like he’d ever have kids of his own, anyway.”
“That’d require noticing when someone’s flirting with him,” Su She agreed, all solemn for just a moment, and then he dissolved into sniggering giggles. Meng Yao couldn’t blame him: it was, in fact, extremely funny when women (and sometimes men) tried to flirt with Teacher Lan, mostly because of the way that he very genuinely and completely missed that that was what was happening each and every time.
“Laugh all you like,” Meng Yao said peaceably. “You’d kill for him, too.”
“Probably,” Su She agreed. “But only because of you.”
That was fair enough. After getting the lay of the land, Meng Yao had arranged for them to ‘accidentally’ be overheard by Teacher Lan while talking about the misconduct of one of the teachers who was the most biased against guest disciples, one of the ones that had been harassing Su She in particular for over a year before Meng Yao had arrived, and despite Su She’s initial nervousness about the plan, it had all gone splendidly. Sure, they’d been punished to do five copies of a treatise on upright conduct because they’d breached Talking behind the backs of others is prohibited, but the teacher in question had been sentenced to two hundred strikes with the discipline rod for abusing his position and three months of enforced seclusion to contemplate his misbehavior, and then, Teacher Lan had said, his expression dark and threatening, they could discuss what role would be the best fit in the future.
The other teachers had taken notice and shaped up very quickly, after that.
Comparatively, those five copies made in the nice cool Library Pavilion instead of having to do chores on the hottest days of summer? Practically a pat on the back for bringing it to his attention.
Su She would never have dared to raise anything if it was just him, Meng Yao thought; he had a strange fear of authority figures that combined envy and misery in an explosive combination – he would have just suffered and suffered and suffered until he’d been pushed too far and then it would have all burst out at once. He wasn’t like Meng Yao, who was unwilling to keep to his “proper” place and was more than willing to use his greater-than-average share of brains to get what he wanted, no matter what rules he broke in the process. He was the sort of person who was willing to do whatever it took to obtain his desires – no matter what it took.
Well, maybe not no matter what. He wouldn’t want to disappoint Lan Qiren too much.
(Okay, so maybe Su She was right and he had some unresolved father issues. So what if he did? Whose business was it but his?)
-
It’d taken Meng Yao a while to fully adjust to the Cloud Recesses.
Some parts he’d figured out right away – the way they all flattered themselves as gentlemen even if they were actually little more than hypocrites (Teacher Lan and his personally taught nephews exempted, of course), which of course meant that Meng Yao’s ability to act pitiful at the drop of a hat and cleverly turn black into white made him a teacher’s pet at once. The vegetarian meals were easy enough to adapt to, given that his mother hadn’t had the money for meat all that often, and the training and cultivation and all that wasn’t any challenge for his excellent powers of retention – he had ambitions of becoming one of Teacher Lan’s aides one day, and worked assiduously towards that goal. Even waking and sleeping early, which was practically the opposite of his schedule at home, was something he could adjust to, given time and incentive.
It was his mentality that took some time to adjust.
Meng Yao had perhaps grown up with too many of his mother’s stories, painting an image of a matchless paradise – at the start, he looked at everything around him, serene and elegant but not quite as rich and shining and thought that it would do, for now. When he’d first arrived, he had had every intention of making a good reputation for himself and using that reputation to get his real father’s attention – he’d liked Teacher Lan from the beginning, despite his best attempts to not let his heart be swayed, but he’d reasoned that if a teacher was like this, then a blood-related father would be even better.
And so, for the first half-year, he’d treated his time at the Cloud Recesses…not lightly, no. He was extremely serious about making sure to get the maximum benefit he could. And yet, at the same time, he still was not really committing himself to the place.
This wasn’t where he was going to live his whole life, he reasoned; it was just a stepping stone to a better future. That meant he would exert himself to point out things that made him look good, to eliminate obstacles in his path, to win himself allies, but not bother with those longer-term problems, the ones that really ought to be fixed but which would take a great deal of effort with little reward other than annoying people.
His feeling of superiority and emotional distance lasted right up until the first discussion conference.
From a distance, Jin Guangshan was everything Meng Yao could have imagined – perhaps a little too similar to the clients that his mother often saw, a little dissolute to pull off the air of a refined scholar he affected, but wearing more gold than Meng Yao had ever seen in his life, with a retinue of servants that dwarfed the other sect’s. Each of those servants were dressed more finely than even main clan cultivators in some of the smaller sects, and though Meng Yao’s Lan sect guest disciple clothing was of such quality that he didn’t need to fear their disdain, he couldn’t help but be secretly impressed.
He'd exerted himself more than usual to trade away all of his chores and duties, freeing himself up to take on patrol duty near the Jin sect. He’d perhaps daydreamed about some sort of encounter – nothing active on his part, of course, but he couldn’t quite resist playing through some fantasy of catching someone’s eye by chance, getting called over, a “You have a familiar set to your chin, who’s your father?”, a shy halting admission, recognition, a joyous reunion…
Instead, his father spent the entire night getting drunk and cursing the Lan sect’s hospitality for not providing him with girls to go with his liquor, calling Lan Qiren a miserable prude with a stick up his ass right in front of the Lan sect disciples that clenched their fists in barely concealed rage. He’d seen Meng Yao all right, ordered him to come forward, but it’d only been to mock him in front of all of his servants – and not even for being his bastard son, no, that would involve bothering to pick him out from the crowd or to ask who he was. No, he’d mocked him simply for being one of the poor disciples that Lan Qiren had taken in, all because his accent was marked with the distinct tones of Yunping rather than the sweetness of Gusu.
“Tell me, boy,” he said, breathing fumes into Meng Yao’s face and making him feel suddenly as if he’d never left the brothel – that the Cloud Recesses had all been a vague dream, and now he’d woken up and lost it all. “How does that old fart Qiren expect you to pay him back for all he’s done for you? I heard the Lan sect includes a pretty face as one of its standard requirements…”
Meng Yao put his gaze above his father’s head and pretended to be deaf.
“It seems like rather a lot of effort,” one of his father’s attendants remarked. “Even if Second Master Lan wanted a boy to warm his bed, couldn’t he just buy one like any normal person?”
“Bah, boys,” his father said, and leaned back, waving his hands in dismissal. “Why would anyone bother with a boy when you could have a soft woman instead? Just as long as they’re stupid enough – you know, there’s nothing worse than a woman who’s talented and knows it, too smart, always trying to get above their station…”
“You’re thinking about that whore in Yunping again, aren’t you? The one that interrupted your dinner and made a scene, claiming you’d promised to take in the son she bore you?” the attendant said, laughing. “I told you, you should’ve just killed her for her impudence rather than just having her beaten and thrown out. That way the matter wouldn’t still be bothering you…”
“Go away, boy,” another servant said to Meng Yao, who was frozen stiff in belated terror, nausea churning in his stomach as he realized his mother could’ve gone out one day and never come back, and he would never have known why – or maybe it was that he’d been spending his considerable time and brain on pleasing someone who would have done that, who nearly had done that. “Your accent’s brought back bad memories, don’t you see?”
Meng Yao left.
No, to be more blunt: he fled. He ran away, hot tears filling his eyes until he couldn’t see – belly full of regret and disappointment, crushed dreams feeling like broken shards of glass in his mouth and throat.
He tried to tell himself that it was better to find out now, when they were still distant, before he'd sold his soul for the futile chance to get that horrible man's affection, but he couldn't quite throw off the shame of knowing that if he hadn't heard such a thing up front, he probably would have done that. Would have humiliated himself like that, and for what? A man who regretted not murdering his mother?
He ran right into Lan Wangji, who was also on patrol.
Lan Wangji took one look at him and grabbed his wrist, dragging him away from the main pathway and all the way to his uncle’s rooms.
Lan Qiren was still awake despite the late hour, writing something at his desk, but he set aside his brush at once. “What’s going on?” he asked, frowning. “Wangji – Meng Yao – one of you report.”
“Meng Yao was on patrol by the Jin sect,” Lan Wangji explained as Meng Yao furiously tried to dash away his tears using his sleeve.
“Who permitted that? First year disciples aren’t permitted to patrol during discussion conferences,” Lan Qiren asked, his frown deepening. “It wouldn’t be proper – ah, but no, I recall now. I suppose it was inevitable. Wangji, well done, and thank you. You are dismissed.”
After Lan Wangji left, he turned his eyes on Meng Yao.
“You volunteered, didn’t you?” he asked.
Meng Yao felt his back go cold: Lan Qiren knew, then. It had never been said out loud by anyone as far as he knew, and yet it was clear that Lan Qiren knew who his father was – and probably his mother, too.
He knew that Meng Yao was – that he wasn’t anything more than –
“You are one of my most promising disciples, Meng Yao,” Lan Qiren told him, and poured him a cup of tea from his own pot, pressing it into his hands. It was finer tea than Meng Yao had ever had in his life, full of smoke and flavor. “The rules say Be loyal and filial, but they also praise reciprocity. You have not been recognized, and have not received your forefathers’ grace. You can fulfill your obligations to chivalry through your respect for the parent that raised you.”
Meng Yao stared down at the teacup. Lan Qiren had completely misunderstood the nature of Meng Yao’s concern – he was disappointed in what his father was, not worried about not living up to his obligations of being a filial child. And yet it was a little nice to hear that as far as Lan Qiren was concerned, the rules said that he could tell his father go hang for all he cared…
And that he ought to honor his mother, which was something no one who knew her had ever said to him.
“Even if she –” His voice stuttered. “Even if she’s a…”
He couldn’t say the word.
“Appreciate the good people is not qualified by class or profession,” Lan Qiren said, and his monotone voice was blissfully without emotion, as if this were just another lesson in class, and not the deepest hurt of Meng Yao’s life. “I have never met your mother, Meng Yao, but you are a good child – diligent, organized, sincere, with good judgment, and you clearly adore her. That tells me everything I need to know.”
Meng Yao burst into tears.
-
Meng Yao liked Lan Xichen a lot, but he also had to admit that sometimes, the older boy was, well…
“Dumb as a pile of rocks,” Su She announced.
“Do not criticize other people,” Meng Yao said piously, but then chuckled, shaking his head. “Say, rather, that he’s naïve and sheltered, and overly inclined to believe the best in people.”
“Like I said: dumb as rocks. How many times is going to get himself swindled into being someone’s sword or shield before he figures out that the problem is him?”
“Some people don’t have the capacity to understand the depths of humanity’s foulness –”
“Yeah, dumb ones.”
“Su She, please.” Su She held up his hands in surrendered. “At any rate, if Lan-gongzi is going to keep falling for people’s tricks, it’s beholden on us to help protect him.”
“You just don’t want Teacher Lan to be sad about something serious happening to his nephew,” Su She said knowingly, but he was already nodding. “All right, what are we going to do about it? He outranks us. We can’t exactly tell him to his face that he’s being…”
He paused.
Dumb as rocks went unsaid, but then, it didn’t need to be said out loud for the meaning to be clear.
Meng Yao sighed.
“You can only trick someone so many times,” he said. “If we want to keep him from getting tricked by other people, then we have to trick him first. And better.”
“What do you mean?”
“Lan-gongzi likes to save people,” Meng Yao explained. “He really sees himself as a chivalrous gentleman – he puts chivalry first, even though Teacher Lan says Learning comes first. That’s why he always sides with whoever he perceives to be the underdog in a given situation, no matter how wrong that impression is. That’s how most of the people who’ve been tricking him have gone for it: playing the victim, appealing to his sense of righteousness, pulling the curtains over his eyes to obscure what’s actually happening.”
“Okay. So?”
“So, we’ve both got miserable backstories – you being taken from your family at a young age and then bullied, me with my mother and, even worse, father. If we get him on our side, early on, he’ll side with us over anyone else – that way we can keep him from getting roped into other people’s private grudges.”
Su She frowned. “That seems a little manipulative.”
“It’s for his own good, and that’s what’s important,” Meng Yao said, and smiled faintly. “Wouldn’t you agree, Lan-er-gongzi?”
Su She jumped, turning around just in time to see Lan Wangji, who had been standing in the shadow of a nearby tree, step out.
He had a serious expression, as always, but a thoughtful one.
Meng Yao waited patiently.
“You cannot take advantage,” Lan Wangji finally said, and Meng Yao knew he’d won the most important ally in the battle to save Lan Xichen from himself. “That would change it from a virtuous act to a selfish one.”
“Like we need anything from him,” Su She said haughtily. “Maintain your own discipline.”
“Arrogance is forbidden.”
“It’s not arrogance if it’s justified! It’s just self-confidence!”
“Do not argue with family,” Meng Yao quoted, and was pleased to see both of them drop it at once. “Listen, we all share the same goal, and we have to start somewhere, don’t we? We’re stronger together than apart. Together, we can do anything, even protect Lan-gongzi.”
That and more, he thought as the other boys nodded, following his lead. Lan Xichen is just the start.
-
“The Wen sect will make trouble sooner rather than later,” Meng Yao said thoughtfully, one day. His friends turned to look at him. “Yes, I’m serious.”
Lan Wangji nodded, serious as always, but Su She scoffed.
“You can’t even convince that Wei Wuxian boy to leave poor Lan-er-gongzi alone,” he said snidely. “How exactly are you expecting to bring down the Wen sect?”
“I don’t convince Wei Wuxian to leave Lan-er-gongzi alone because Lan-er-gongzi doesn’t want to be left alone,” Meng Yao said. “Obviously. Isn’t that right?”
“You should call me by name,” Lan Wangji said, which wasn’t answering the question and definitely wasn’t denying anything. “You were saying, about the Wen sect?”
Meng Yao smiled.
-
“What brings one of Teacher Lan’s most promising disciples to the Unclean Realm?” Nie Mingjue said, peering at him thoughtfully. “You’re at the wrong time to be one of the usual messengers.”
Meng Yao smiled at him.
“I think you’ll find that we have similar goals, Sect Leader Nie,” he said. “When it comes to making sure that certain people in our lives don’t get hurt by the bad decisions of others, I mean. In your case, it’s your younger brother, who’s a friend of mine –”
Friend, source of information, it was all about the same thing in the end. Meng Yao didn’t have real friends outside the Lan sect, but he’d been very careful to cultivate good relationships with all his most important peers.
“- and for me, well. A teacher for day, a father for a lifetime. I’m sure Sect Leader Nie can understand the importance of protecting one’s father – right?”
“You don’t need to use any sophistry on me,” Nie Mingjue said, rolling his eyes. “If you have an idea on what we can do to stop the Wen sect before they go and burn someone’s house down, I’m all ears.”
By chance, Meng Yao did.
It was a good plan, too, daring and brave in equal measure. If it worked the way he hoped it would, he’d win enough fame to get Jin Guangshan to beg for him to join the Jin sect – not that he would, of course.
Meng Yao knew what he wanted, and he knew how he was going to get it, too.
-
“This is a lovely house, A-Yao,” Meng Shi said, running her hand along one of the soft tapestries on the wall. “Truly lovely. Whoever you rented it from has good taste.”
Meng Yao bowed. “Thank you for the compliment, Mother. I put a lot of thought into it.”
“You own it?” she asked, surprised. “But don’t you live up the mountain, with the sect?”
“I do. This is for you.”
“For – me? A-Yao! This is too much – how much must it have cost–”
“I saved the Lan sect’s core texts from being destroyed,” Meng Yao said. “I’m an inner sect disciple now – I could ask for a dozen houses like this, and they’d grant them to me without blinking twice. Teacher Lan would insist on it.”
“Teacher Lan,” his mother murmured. “That’s the one you’ve taken to treating as your own father, isn’t it? You’ve spoken so much of him, in your letters…”
“There’s no need to scheme,” he told her. “He wouldn’t notice your flirtations, anyway.”
His mother arched her eyebrows at him.
“He’s really oblivious.”
“Still…”
“Really no need,” Meng Yao said, and couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Lan Qiren pulling him into a hug when he realized that the books – and Lan Xichen – were all safe from the Wen sect’s attempt to burn down the Cloud Recesses, and, later, again, that Wen Ruohan was dead. He may have deliberately schemed for that second hug, and he might or might not have plans for more. “He already takes me as a son.”
His mother relaxed.
“Good,” she said, and smiled herself. “So, A-Yao, was I right, all those years ago? Was the Lan sect a good fit for you?”
“Yes, Mother,” Meng Yao said. “Yes, it was.”
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latte-fairytaekwoon · 4 years ago
Text
𝐌𝐚𝐟𝐢𝐚! 𝐀𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐳: 𝐀𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐞
Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, justifying, encouraging, nor promoting mafia behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.
Warnings: Suggestive themes but nothing too explicit, scenes containing violence and kidnappings.
❥𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰
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Hongjoong could already sense that something was off the moment he noticed the door wasn't locked and even more worrying was the fact it was slightly ajar. Quickly taking out his gun just in case, he kicked open the door and widened his eyes as it appeared like some struggle took place. Chairs were turnt over, busted picture frames and glass scattered across the floor, and even more terrifying, droplets of blood were seen.
"Y/N!" He quickly remembered about his spouse.
Running into the bedroom, it was in an even bigger disarray than the living room. On the bed, there was a note folded for him to read. Carefully opening it with trembling hands, his eyes took in each letter. Furiously, he crumbled up the paper and quickly dialed his most trusted friend.
"Get the squad ready."
Although you expected that sooner or later you'd be targeted just for the fact you were married to Hongjoong, nothing could have prepared you for it. After all, Hongjoong didn't seem to care much about you, treating your marriage strictly like a business deal and hardly interacting with you. It wouldn't have surprised you if he didn't even care enough to show up and save you.
But you were wrong when he broke in himself and got you safely out of there, despite having suffered quite a few injuries that had you worrying.
"Stop fretting over it, it's just a scratch." He told you when you tried to wipe the blood trickling down the side of his head wound.
"I'm sorry......you're hurt because I-"
"No one is to blame here but me. I chose to go after you and rescue you because I wanted to. If anything, I should be apologizing for getting you in this situation in the first place."
Sighing softly, you tugged at the dirtied sleeves of your shirt.
"It's not like it's really your fault. We were thrown together and naturally they thought they could get the upper hand if they captured me. And to be honest.....you didn't have to save me. I know you don't care about-"
With a loud gasp, you shut up when Hongjoong unexpectedly sat up and kissed you. You were stunned to react and even more shocked by his next words.
"I always cared. And that's precisely why you were kidnapped. From the start, I acted as if I didn't care about you to protect you. They would have never taken you if they thought that I had no regards for you whatsoever. However, I obviously couldn't hide my feelings that well, given the taunting letter they left me. As soon as I read it, I knew I had to get you back to me as soon as possible."
Kissing the top of your forehead, Hongjoong smiled at you for the first time in your marriage life.
"And I'm happy to take you back to our home, where you rightfully belong."
❥𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪
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Putting the finishing touches on your makeup and fixing your hair, you beamed with joy at your reflection in the mirror. You felt truly beautiful and walked out into the living room, where your handsome husband was currently on his phone, no doubt talking about some business things with Hongjoong. He seemed to always be busy, never having any time for anything else.
Including you, which somewhat hurt you.
"I'm ready." You told him, shyly tucking some of your hair behind your ear as you hoped he'd like the dress you were wearing, choosing a blue color since you knew it was his favorite.
"Ok. Go wait out in the limousine, I'll be there shortly."
Barely even giving you a glance, he dialed Hongjoong up and continued to further discuss some matters. Sighing softly, you walked rather disappointed out to the car, slamming the door behind you. When Seonghwa joined you a few minutes later, you didn't even care to hide your anger and frustration at him. You still had a scowling look on your face when you arrived at the party, not bothering this time to stick by Seonghwa's side like you usually did other times, playing the role of a perfect and loving wife. And Seonghwa neither noticed nor cared about it. In fact, he never really hid how little your marriage seemed to matter to him. Perhaps he treated it as any other business he owned.
"Such a pity to see such a beautiful lady look so down during such a lovely evening."
Recognizing the voice as Minho, a friend of Seonghwa, you forced a small smile.
"Not really much to be happy about really." You merely stated.
"Is your oh so loving hubby being the usual prince charming he is?" He rolled his eyes, knowing full well just like everyone else how he really treated you.
"What difference does it make? He'll never even look at me."
Unable to let the opportunity go to waste, even if it was his friend, Minho gently caressed your cheek.
"You know....... maybe you should stop trying so hard for a jerk like him....and maybe open your eyes to someone who actually knows you exist."
You were frozen when he leaned in to kiss you, then gasped loudly when none other than Seonghwa pushed him off you, sending Minho crashing onto one of the tables behind him.
"She is my wife! And the next time you touch her, I will cut your hand off!" He warned him.
You didn't even have time to process what was happening as Seonghwa dragged you outside, his grip on your wrist tight and fierce. When you reached the car, you were going to ask him what was going on but you had no time as he pressed you against the car and began to kiss you fervently and hungrily. You were left speechless and breathless, with your legs getting weak as he let out low snarls in between his kisses on your neck.
"Mine.......you're all mine."
❥𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸
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Both Yunho and you were beyond nervous at this point, hell you actually felt somewhat terrified. You knew exactly what his parents wanted when they organized this 'family vacation'. This wasn't a getaway to spend time together and they made it obviously clear at dinner when you came back from the bathroom and overheard him arguing with his parents.
"You know I can't ask her to do that!" Yunho adamantly said.
"You've been married for over a year Yunho. It's time and you know it." His mother insisted.
"I will not impregnate her. Have you ever considered her feelings? Maybe she doesn't want kids. Maybe I don't want kids, have you ever thought of that?" He asked them, voice getting more agitated.
"It's both of your duties to produce heirs to keep control and stability in the organization. Your life is at risk on a daily basis. If you die with no children it'll only cause chaos and disruption." His father reminded him.
That was the one thing you dreaded facing since the day you said "I do", having to be forced to become nothing more than a baby maker. Yunho knew from the beginning how uncomfortable you were during your first night together, that's why he ended up sleeping in another room, as he had done every day afterwards, not wanting you to freak out and giving you your space.
But now you both stared at the single king sized bed in your hotel room, reality staring you in the face. Neither of you said a word as you took turns changing and getting ready to go to sleep in the bathroom, Yunho letting you go first. As you crept into the bed, your hands tightly held onto the blanket, your eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, unaware of anything until you felt the bed shift next to you. You inhaled sharply when you felt Yunho's fingers caress your hair.
"Y/N-"
"Just get it over with will you?! Just knock me up and make your parents happy. I don't care anymore."
Although you tried to sound strong, the tremble in your voice gave you away. You could feel tears starting to well up in your eyes. When Yunho moved to hover above you, you instantly shut your eyes, tears lightly spilling out. You could feel his breath ghost over your lips and then suddenly they moved as he planted the gentlest of kiss on your forehead.
"Good night my dear. I promise I won't take up too much space."
Confused you open your eyes and watched as Yunho turned on his side, facing away from you as he scooted to give you as much room as he possibly could.
"I don't...I don't understand why..." You didn't even know what you were asking at this point.
"I'm not going to be that asshole that will make you do something you're not prepared for. I respect, value and admire you too much to make you go through that. I'll just wait until you're ready."
You weren't going to deny that your heart fluttered at his words.
"But your parents-"
"They can suck it. I've lived this long, I think I'll be fine. They can wait like I'm willing to wait. The only downside is putting up with their bullshit and nagging for disobeying them...."
You could tell he was falling asleep by the way his voice started to mumble and lower in tone, and his tiny yawn made it more obvious. You were prepared for his cute tiny rambling but you didn't expect what he said next.
"But that's what I get for falling in love with you..."
❥𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰
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Yeosang stared out the spacious window of his office, the glittering city lights looking as splendid as they did every night, bustling with sounds of the inhabitants coming out to party and overall enjoy life. They seemed to be mocking him, mocking him for being happy while he felt miserable and empty inside.
It had been hours since you had already left, your plane had probably already landed back to your hometown and you were now ready to settle into your new life....away from him. He couldn't stop replaying the argument you had just a day ago:
"Can't you at least pretend to care?" You spat out, dropping your fork against the plate of food in front of you.
"If you know what I'm like, why even ask?" Was his only reply.
"Yes I know what you're like! You're cold, stoic, soulless and have no regards for anyone's feelings but your own! Being married to you all these years, I know you better than anyone! But I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you not caring enough to even try." She could feel her voice starting to crack.
Letting out a deep sigh, Yeosang pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.
"From the beginning, you knew what you were getting in to. We didn't get married because we were a couple of lovestruck fools wanting to vow our lives to each other. Our parents arranged it and we had no choice. If you were stupid enough to catch feelings well then..."
Finally lifting his gaze to look at you, his eyes were unwavering as he coldly declared:
"That's not my fault. And you can't expect me to reciprocate your feelings when I don't even have any to begin with."
Not taking anymore, you began crying tears of heartbreak, anger, frustration and indignation all at the same time. Standing up, you firmly declared your intent of going back home, not willing to put up or stay with him anymore.
"Ok."
Not even a goodbye, a farewell or even another look at you. Those were his final words before you stormed out and made preparations to leave as soon as possible. Yeosang had spent the entire day pacing back and forth, unable to think or do anything except look at the clock almost every hour. He had been counting the seconds since your flight was scheduled to leave, that's how he knew you were home by then.
He cursed himself for being a coward. For not speaking up and telling you how much you actually meant to him, how scared he was of his feelings for you, and most of all, he hated himself for not running out to stop you. Now you were gone from his life forever........ unless....
"Get my plane ready."
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷
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San and you didn't even meet each other until you were both standing at the altar, families ready to join together two criminal organizations to grow their power even further. Both of you looked at each and instantly felt what the other was feeling: shock, denial, insecurity, but most of all, fear. Both of you were afraid of what was going to happen. Though he was trembling just as much as you, San made sure to reach for your hand, squeezing it in his own. With that small gesture, you knew and felt what he was silently saying:
"We're going to get through this together. Just trust me and believe in me. I'll take care of you. You're not alone in this and I'll be right there by your side."
You two got along fairly well, even if there was still awkwardness between the two of you. You were both also still shy around each other that you wouldn't talk unless it was necessary or because something caught one or the other's attention and wanted to share their thoughts out loud, which the other one would try to enthusiastically add on to converse more, but it always ended in awkward laughter.
Yeah. It was extremely awkward. But at least there was no hostility between you two and you guys did enjoy watching movies together at times, hardly speaking a word, but there was no silence at all. You could read each other's minds and feelings all the time. It was truly strange how in tune your thoughts seemed to be at times and scary too. Your mind began to recall times when strange things happened like the time you were craving a certain food and coincidentally, San came later with the exact same food because he got a feeling you wanted some. Or the time you were supposed to go visit extended family but in the end didn't get on the train and went straight home because you felt San needed you. He thought you were crazy, but later that night he was burning up with a fever and you spent your weekend nursing him back to health.
"What did this all mean?" You both thought to yourselves.
"A soulmate is someone that just gets you. It's a connection of minds, a mutual respect, an unconditional love and a total understanding. It's about being yourself and knowing, not only that person is following and understanding your thoughts, but is right there with you, side by side." The actress in the movie you were watching said.
Suddenly everything seemed to click. At the moment both of you felt like the answer to your questions were finally answered. Slowly you both turned and faced one another. Giving you a warm smile as he read your thoughts, San leaned in to cup your cheek with one hand, his thumb drawing circles around it. Brushing his lips against yours, he sighed blissfully as he looked in your eyes.
"My lovely soulmate..."
❥𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲
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When Mingi met you, he was sort of put off by how different you were from him.
"Hi! I'm Y/N, your soon to be wife but please don't think of me as that if you don't want to. Think of me as your friend. I just know we'll get along!"
You were actually squealing and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, almost bouncing up and down with joy while Mingi just stood there stiff as a pole, wondering what the hell made you be so happy and cheerful like that.
"Ok.....ok got it, you can let go now." He tried to squirm out of your embrace, but you merely tightened your grip on him causing him to let out a harsh "oof!" at your strength.
"For such a tiny person, you sure aren't weak." He pointed out.
Married life with you for Mingi was...... different to say the least. He was used to such a gloomy, dark and hostile environment that having a tiny bubble bursting with energy was unusual and not something he was accustomed to. You always greeted him with such enthusiasm and happiness, not to mention you were such a caring housewife, always feeding him and taking care of him. Sometimes Mingi questioned whether you've ever seen the harsh side of the mafia world. Judging by your love for life and others, he guessed no.
And his assumptions were correct when you both were at a party held by some of his other mafia friends. Taking advantage of the occasion, rival gangs infiltrated the building. Storming in, explosions went off in several places, and gun shots were being fired at all directions. Mingi quickly jumped up and tackled you onto the ground, covering your body from the bullets that were being poured out. Taking your hand, he told you to stay down as he safely guided you out of the hall. Once you guys were far away, he quickly sprung up, pulling you up with him as he began running towards the nearest exit, pulling out his hidden gun just in case. You were in shock, even more when you guys passed a couple of dead bodies in the hallway. Feeling sick, you don't even remember how Mingi managed to get you both out of there alive and in one piece before the entire place burst into flames. Staring at the raging fire, you felt like you couldn't breathe, desperately trying to gasp for air.
"Honey, look at me. Look at me ok? You're safe. You're all right and you're going to be all right. Nothing is going to happen to you ok?"
You nodded, trying to choke back tears and forcing a smile on your face, but ultimately failing. Seeing you break down, Mingi immediately pulled you into his arms, his fingers running through your hair as he felt his heart break. You were such a fragile, sensitive and extremely precious person to him. He couldn't bear to see his ray of sunshine and hope in his dark world break down in front of him. He knew had to protect you at all costs and take care of you.
"It's ok my darling angel. I won't let any harm come to you. I swear on my life I'll protect you."
Wiping your tears away, he kissed the top of your head and smiled warmly at you.
"Come on. I'll take you home and have one of those cuddling sessions you always enjoy having."
❥𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰
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You wanted to die, and that wasn't an understatement. You felt utterly humiliated at the fact your parents actually sold you into marriage to some mafia lord's son to pay off their debts. You didn't even have time to process anything, one day you were just bound and stuffed into the back of a car and soon found yourself inside a grand old mansion. You felt alone and scared, unsure of what was going to happen to you. And you were beyond trembling when you met your future husband, expecting some evil and sadistic man when in reality:
"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!"
He greeted you with just a charismatic enthusiasm, eyes practically beaming when he first saw you.
"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first."
He laughed at that, coming closer and squeezed your cheeks.
"You're so cute, I'm already in love with you."
Love? You seriously thought he was insane. You certainly didn't fall in love with him at first sight. And even after months of being married to him, you still didn't felt love towards him, even though Wooyoung tried anything and everything to not only make life easier for you, but in hopes of getting you to reciprocate his feelings.
"Hey Y/N. Look! I got you a present! Open it. I know you'll love it."
You groaned at the thought of another expensive present being given to you. You felt bad that he went through all these troubles when they'd all end in vain. Peeling the ribbon off the huge box, you didn't even get to open the box since the Welsh Corgi inside jumped out and tackled you to the ground. You couldn't help but giggle when it began licking your face, its tail wagging out of joy.
"I knew you'd like him. Now he can keep you company so you won't be lonely while I'm gone."
Rolling your eyes, you couldn't let the opportunity pass to poke fun at him.
"Who said I was even going to miss you?" You chuckled, petting the dog's head.
"You never know." Wooyoung insisted.
Leaving you for 5 months, you couldn't believe you actually started to miss his obnoxiously loud presence. Sure your puppy kept you complaining and cuddled you, but it wasn't the same. You hated to admit it....
But you actually wanted Wooyoung to come back and smother you with what you always referred to as his annoying affection.
Opening the front door, Wooyoung called out that he was home. He smiled when he was greeted by his furry friend rather enthusiastically. But he was not expecting for you to run out and jump at him, your arms wrapping around his neck. Although he stumbled slightly, he made sure to catch you, your legs wrapping around his waist.
"Y/N are you-?"
He widened his eyes when you crashed your lips on his, kissing him as if your life depended on it. Once getting over the shock, he had a smug grin as he kissed you back.
"Told you you'd miss me."
❥𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸
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Jongho terrified you. From day one, you were intimidated by him. He always had a blank expression, hardly talked and he had a reputation for being brutally strong. Obviously you felt like you were walking on eggshells around him, afraid to piss him off. Anytime he called out to you or came near you, your body would jump.
"Y/N..."
Shrieking, you turned around when you felt his hand brush against your lower back. Tilting his head, he raised an eyebrow at your reaction.
"I needed something from the cabinet."
Without breaking eye contact, his hands gripped your waist as he slightly moved you to the side, fingers digging into your skin. After having gotten what he wanted, his thumb poked your nose as he winked at you.
"Thanks doll."
You swore he was teasing you. He'd purposefully use any occasion to show off his strength to you, his favorite being cutting up wood in the yard with an axe. You couldn't help but stare at his arms that were visible due to him wearing a sleeveless shirt. When he noticed you staring, he sent a smug smile your way which caused you to blush and you immediately retreated back inside the house.
There was also the time he accidentally walked in on you changing. There you were, standing in nothing but your lacy underwear set, for some reason not embarrased or hiding yourself as Jongho inhaled deeply as his eyes raked your body. Subtly biting his lips, he apologized before reluctantly leaving the room.
Both of you were frustrated by that point, tired of the light teasing. Jongho was the one who decided to put a stop to it one night he came home from a mission. He had been badly hurt and you, worrying about him, sat him down to tend to his wounds. It was a struggle since he had to remove his shirt and you were blushing violently, eyes always looking away.
"It's ok doll. I'm your husband...you can look at me."
His hands that were holding onto your arms began caressing your elbows, subtly pulling you closer to him without you noticing until you were firmly planted on his lap.
"Do you want me my little doll?" He asked you, voice in a low whisper as his breath fanned over your lips.
"Cause I've wanted you since the first day I laid my eyes on you."
Gifs not mine. Credit goes to their respective owners.
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no--envies · 3 years ago
Text
For most of his life, JC considered himself a victim. He thought his father disliked him and preferred WWX; he blamed WWX for everything bad in his life, from the fall of Lotus Pier to his sister’s death, and took WWX’s defection from the Jiang Sect as a personal betrayal. For thirteen years, JC felt entitled to hate WWX and kept venting his own anger and hatred on every demonic cultivator he met. After WWX came back, he still tried to use him as a scapegoat to avoid reflecting on his own faults.
It took something as extreme as the golden core reveal to make him realize how much he had wronged WWX: not only had WWX long since repaid his debt to the Jiang Sect, but the fact that he made such a huge sacrifice without telling anyone was the ultimate, irrefutable proof of WWX’s greatness.
After realizing this, JC couldn’t hate WWX anymore, but he still didn’t want to let go of his hatred, because otherwise everything he had done until that moment would make him look like a clown at best and a horrible person at worst. This is why his rant in the Guanyin Temple was so full of venom. JC wasn’t ready to reflect on his own mistakes and flaws, so he took all of his frustration out on WWX, who didn’t deserve any of his harsh words. In his rant, JC brought up everything he couldn’t stand about the situation: how WWX was such a great person and had always been better than him at everything, even though JC was supposed to be the heir; how he had brought ruin to the Jiang Sect and everyone from JC’s family, leaving only an orphaned JL; how he had broken his promise to be his right-hand man and had defected to protect outsiders, people whom in JC’s opinion WWX didn’t owe as much as he owed to the Jiang Sect.
After this outburst full of bitterness and resentment, we see JC have his first real moment of self-reflection in the whole novel:
Jiang Cheng cried soundlessly, but tears had already streaked across his face. To cry in such an unsightly way in front of others was almost impossible for him in the past. But every single moment that passed from now on, as long as the golden core remained in his body, as long as it could still revolve, he’d forever remember this feeling.
He choked, “… You said I’d be the sect leader and you’d be my subordinate, you said you’d help me your whole life, you said you’d never betray the YunmengJiang Sect… You said so yourself.”
“…” After a moment of silence, Wei WuXian replied, “I’m sorry. I broke my promise.”
Jiang Cheng shook his head, burying his face deep into his palms. A second later, he suddenly burst out with a laugh. His muffled voice mocked, “It’s such a time already, and I still need you to say sorry to me. What a fragile person I am.”
(Chapter 102)
Sect Leader Jiang’s words were eternally tainted with mockery. But this time, whom he mocked was no one but himself.
Suddenly, he said, “I’m sorry.”
Wei WuXian hesitated, “… You don’t need to say sorry.”
At this point, it was impossible to figure out who should apologize to whom.
Wei WuXian continued, “Take it as my repayment to the Jiang Sect.”
Jiang Cheng looked up. He looked at him with teary, bloodshot eyes, and a hoarse voice, “… Repayment to my father, my mother, my sister?”
Wei WuXian pressed his temples, “Forget it. It’s all in the past now. Let’s not mention it again.”
(Chapter 103)
This is the first and only time we see JC apologize to someone. He even admits that his need to hear WWX say sorry to him after so long makes him a fragile person. JC doesn’t want to feel guilty, he’s too proud to fully admit his faults. This is why he keeps bringing up old debts and promises: it’s the only way for him to keep holding onto the illusion of being a victim. JC knows deep down that the golden core transfer was an immense sacrifice and that now he can no longer hold WWX responsible for everything he has always accused him of, but he struggles to accept it. In this moment, it’s easier for JC to see WWX’s sacrifice as a repayment or as a form of redemption. WWX knows JC very well and doesn’t want him to keep ruminating on this for the rest of his life, because that would only make him more unhappy and bitter. Making JC feel guilty is not the reason WWX gave him his golden core in the first place. He made such a huge sacrifice as an act of true selflessness: to save JC’s life and repay his debt to the Jiang Sect, without expecting anything in return.
Wei WuXian, “Uh, I think it’s best if you… also stop keeping it on your mind. I know you’ll definitely always keep it on your mind, but, how should I say it…” He clenched Lan WangJi’s hand, saying to Jiang Cheng, “Right now, I do really think… it’s all in the past. It’s been too long. There’s no need to struggle with it any longer.”
Jiang Cheng wiped his face roughly, drying his tears. He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes.
(Chapter 103)
At the end of the whole confrontation in the Guanyin Temple, JC finally stops using WWX as a scapegoat. He understands that he can’t hold WWX to old debts anymore, that WWX has a new life now and owes nothing to JC. This is why he gives him back Chenqing and doesn’t follow him outside the Guanyin Temple: after an entire lifetime of holding onto his grudges, JC finally starts letting go of some of them and recognizes that he and WWX should leave the past in the past and move on, “each to their own sect”.
Wei WuXian took the flute. Remembering that Jiang Cheng was the one who brought it, he turned over there and commented casually, “Thanks.” He waved Chenqing, “I’ll… be keeping this?”
Jiang Cheng glanced at him, “It was yours in the first place.”
After a moment of hesitation, his lips moved slightly, as though he wanted to say something else. However, Wei WuXian had already turned to Lan WangJi. Seeing this, Jiang Cheng remained silent.
[...]
Jin Ling exclaimed, “You let them go just like that?”
Jiang Cheng mocked, “Or else? Have them stay for dinner? Say thank you and sorry after the meal?”
Jin Ling began to simmer, pointing at him, “No wonder he wanted to go. It’s all because of that attitude of yours! Why are you so annoying, Uncle?!”
Hearing this, Jiang Cheng raised his hand with glaring eyes, scolding, “Is this how you talk to someone older than you? You asking to be beaten up?!”
Jin Ling shrunk back. Fairy tucked in its tail as well. Yet Jiang Cheng’s slap never landed at the back of his head. Instead, it was retracted powerlessly.
He spoke, irritated, “Shut up. Jin Ling. Shut up. We’re going back. Each to their own sect.”
(Chapter 110)
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danielxricciardo · 3 years ago
Text
Cheater III
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Summary: You found out Max cheated on you part 3.
Warnings: angst and fluff by the end
Word count: 2.5k
Part 1 and Part 2
Cheating in a relationship is the saddest thing. It can kill the personality from the inside. Bring changes a lot mentally. These situations turn into you to be good or bad. Some may be helpful to be stronger.
It feels bad when our loved one cheated, cause we are well connected to our partners. We had a lot of plans for that person to spend a most valuable time of ours. When it isn't going to happen then it feels unsuccessful or bad. Expecting something from another person is common in humans. When it turns down we feel such pain, like stabbing with words, The words have the power to kill or to give life to the opponent's mind. The reason why people say 'think before you talk'.
True love doesn't involve multiple people... You knew that.
When you are in love with someone, you don't cheat and you're not talking about just finding others attractive. You just don't desire to be sexually intimate with other people when you are truly "in love" with one person. You're not talking about caring for someone or loving in general.
You're talking about the head over heels, you're soulmates, the stars have aligned and nobody else has what you have, a type of love that consumes your whole being and makes you want to give that person the world. And that includes giving them the greatest physical pleasure that they can possibly experience. Cheating takes that away from you and that is why it hurts.
The person you are in love with and desire, who you thought felt the same way is revealing to you that intimacy with you is meaningless when you thought it was special. They do not desire you in the same way that you desire them. They are not "in love" with you in the way that you thought. All of your love is in vain.
“Why do we feel bad, even horrible, when our partner cheats on us?"
A trust, expectation, a promise was broken. This type of violation hits you closer to the heart because you have let that person through all your external defenses. Because you fear the loneliness that you are going to face. Nobody wants to end alone. When you put in so much for your relationship, you want it to last. But when your partner cheats you think that you would end alone, gradually realize this happens and life doesn't end here and someone else is going to come into your life.
Why do guys cheat on girls?
Both men and women cheat. In some cases, the reasons are simple: humans are animals with sex drives. We are biologically programmed to "spread our seeds." We have other instincts, such as loyalty, honesty, and guilt feelings. Those drives duke it out with lust in our brains. Sometimes, lust wins. It's more complicated than that because we tend to associate sex with so many other things: youth, freedom, adventure, personal attractiveness, you name it.
You know people make all sorts of excuses like, “I wasn’t happy in my relationship” or “I didn’t know what I was doing” or “I don’t find my partner attractive anymore” or “someone convinced me to do it.” You’ve heard these. But it’s funny to you.
A cheater can never have any excuse. They do not deserve to have that say after cheating on someone.
If you weren’t happy in the relationship, then why didn’t you break up first and had sex with someone else? Why didn’t you say that you needed a break and then had sex? Also, how can someone even convince you to cheat on your partner? It’s nonsense.
Some people will even go as far as to say that the other person made them feel loved, so they got swayed away. If you are not feeling loved by your partner and someone else is doing that job, then aren’t you supposed to figure out your feelings first, maybe break up with your partner and then be with someone else? That’s common sense.
Nobody deserves to be cheated on. The blame is ALWAYS on the cheater. Nowadays people even try to justify cheaters. It’s insane. To you, all the answers to “why” are simply just excuses trying to justify their unacceptable behavior. You know, how they always say that a person who cheats once will cheat again.
Since you found out that Max cheated on you and until this moment, so many months have passed that you have the impression that you have started to heal. You were with a man who made you feel fulfilled, happy, and loved. There were days in a row when you didn't think about Max, but even when you thought, you had in mind only the beautiful moments. Like when, for your first date, he rented your entire favorite restaurant and he cooked for both of you, even though he didn't know how to cook more than just one egg. Or when you first visited him at a Grand Prix for the first time and he won and came to you and kissed you in front of all the cameras, telling everyone that you are his lucky talisman. Or, your favorite memory, when you were at his house after you met his family and heard him talking to his father about you. Sure, you didn't understand a word they said, but Victoria translated to you what was most important about that conversation: Max loves you so much and if he doesn't get to marry you, he'll never marry anyone else.
As dear as your last memory may be, it is also painful because it is like a slap in the face to the fact that there was a time in your life when you were in love and now you were no longer together.
When you told your family that you started seeing another man, more than 6 months after you and Max broke up, your mother asked you how you could get into a relationship so quickly. relationship.
To be honest, you weren't ready yet. You were damn scared but Stephen, your boyfriend now, went after you a lot and you decided that if you don't give him a chance now it will be many years before you think about going on a date with someone else. You knew it wasn't going to be a long relationship. You didn't have much in common with Stephen, but he was a good, sweet boy, and you needed someone who wouldn't make you hate all the men in the world.
"Look, I'm not saying you didn't go through something traumatic, but it's been almost a year since then and I think it's time to come and show everyone that you're not afraid of anyone or anything," says Anthony who called you on facetime one Sunday night after the race.
"But I'm afraid."
"Just shut up, no one needs to know. You just come here, you smile, you laugh, you act friendly with everyone and you're going to look like you're better of without him."
You sigh and get out of bed, and go to the kitchen to get a pill for your headache.
"But he will be there..."
"Okay, so? Who cares about him? I'll always be by your side, I promise he won't talk to you."
"Can I come with Stephen?"
"You know I can't stand him, Y/N. Take him with you to the next Grand Prix, I don't feel like seeing him now, okay?"
"I'll think about it."
You have decided, however, to go to the last Grand Prix of the season, in Abu Dhabi. No one but Anthony knew you were coming to the race.
You forgot what a busy atmosphere it was on Sunday. However, everyone who saw you came to you to talk a little and to tell you that you missed them. You smiled and answered that you missed them as well.
The road to Red Bull Racing was long and short at the same time.
"Do my eyes see well? Y/F/N Y/L/N!" says Christian Horner, who comes to you and hugs you.
You first see Sergio Perez who waves at you, happy to see you, then you see Max who comes from somewhere in the back. Had he just heard your name?
"Hey, guys! I'm so glad to see you again. I missed you all."
"And we missed you, Y/N!" Christian answers on behalf of all Red Bull Racing employees. "Welcome home."
You giggle.
"Thank you."
In less than 10 minutes since you got there, Anthony broke his promise. He promised not to leave you alone so that Max could not come and talk to you.
"Hey," Max says softly, coming behind you.
You shivered at his voice, a voice you've dreamed of every night since you broke up. You turn to him and analyze his facial features. He was the way you remembered him, maybe even more handsome.
You look left and right for Anthony but you can't see him.
"Hey." You answer Max and your heart starts beating much harder.
"I'm so glad to see you... I missed you."
The desire to take him in your arms and kiss him was so strong that you felt dizzy. You couldn't focus on anything, not even a few words to say.
"Do you think that we... We could see each other after the race to... Talk?" he asks, moving his weight from one foot to the other.
"Okay," you say and regret it the next second.
"How stupid am I for wanting to get back together with Max after he cheated on me?" you asked Anthony.
"First of all, you're not stupid for wanting to get back with your boyfriend. Relationships are the most real things anyone can experience. We're growing while we're together. As we grow, we also go through many different behaviors in life. Behavior does not make that person. Behaviors come and go as we grow into who we are. No one is perfect. You cannot name one person you know to be 100% perfect, right?" you shake your head and he continues. "We all grow organically, and the best thing about being in a relationship is that you get to watch each other grow. You get to experience the person you care about to develop. Relationships are like walking through a door that you don't know what's on the other side. But you go through the door without any fear, doubt, or unbelief. Relationships are the livest-realest- life experience. He is a man. A man can only love once or twice. Just because Max has sex with a woman, doesn't mean he loves her. He just wanted to get his rocks off for a moment. When it is all said and done, he loves you. It may sound strange but just think of all the men you knew. Think about all the relationships you knew about. Think those who have been together for years on out. So, no you're not stupid for wanting to embrace your boyfriend's "only temporary behavior". You're smart for wanting to have the courage to walk through the next door. You're smart for being optimistic and knowing that things will get better with time. You realize the importance of maintaining a companion."
You blink several times.
"Why do I feel like you've practiced this speech in front of the mirror several times?"
He laughs and runs his arm over your shoulder.
"Maybe because that's what I did?"
You laugh and you hug him.
"Thank you for being my friend. So you're saying I should give Max another chance?"
"You don't have to give him a chance if you don't want to. But listen to your heart. Don't just do it because I'm saying so because you might regret it and you'll blame me. If you want to give him another chance, just do it. He's not the kind of man to cheat. I don't know what was on his mind when he did it with Kelly. But something tells me he regrets what he did and he will never cheat again."
"Hey, can we talk now?"
"Sure. Congrats on the win!"
"Yeah, thanks."
You both went to his room to talk. You were scared and your palms were sweating. You didn't want to start the conversation because you had different scenarios in mind, all different, depending on what Max would tell you the first time. You swallowed hard when you entered his room. The last time you were there, you two broke up.
“I’m truly sorry for hurting you.” he started saying after he closed the door behind you. "I care for you more than anything. I’m deeply sorry for hurting you… Hurting you is the most painful thing I have ever done. With a bruised heart and a deflated ego, with a sad soul and a head hung low, I apologize to you. An apology is nothing to what I’ve done; but still, I know you have a forgiving and understanding heart and won’t let resentment destroy our love. I have shown you what an idiot I can be by making that mistake. Now it is your turn to show me what a darling you can be by giving your anger a break. Without you I feel lonely, I never want to lose you in my life. I am sorry and I’ll work hard on changing my behavior. I know that I caused you a lot of pain. Whatever happens, remember that I am the guy, who will always be there for you in good and bad times. I know you’re angry now, but I want you to know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I am ready to make amends. If I could, I would have wiped your memories about all the terrible things that I have caused you, but all I can do is to promise you that I’ll create only happy memories for you. I hope when you feel ready you can forgive me."
His words took you by surprise. You knew he would try to apologize, but in your mind, you weren't crying. You knew before you came to the room with him that you would forgive him.
"I forgive you. To be honest, I think I forgave you before we broke up but my ego was hurt and I couldn't forgive you so quickly. What you did was horrible and I hated you for so many months for making me feel so small and insignificant. But I love you. And I want to give ourselves another chance."
tag: hellolipoops, taina-eny
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s0ulm8s · 4 years ago
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boys like you (1.0)
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✿ summary : alone and left in a mansion with nothing but your canvases and the dust slowly collecting on the window sills - a commission and a call from a childhood friend completely changes your life.
✿ genre : ot7 x f!reader, poly au, hybrid au, soulmate au, deer!seokjin, black panther!yoongi, great dane!hoseok, wolf!namjoon, calico cat!jimin, tiger!taehyung, bunny!jungkook
✿ warnings : mentions of death, maybe some mentions of assault, some fluff, reader is described as small (i.e smaller than jimin), slight age gap (reader is younger than jungkook)
✿ word count : 2.2K
✿ author’s note : i am inexperienced in hybrid aus, smut, and series so pls bare with me (not proofread yet)
✿ series masterlist! | 2.0
making yourself buckle down and work on the piece in front of you had proven to be more of a task than you had originally anticipated. the wide expanse of blank canvas you had stretched yourself 3 weeks ago, mocked you from the the sun room. it was only four days before you had to deliver your piece that you had really forced yourself to pick up a paint brush and do something useful.
the endless days spent alone in the vast building you now called home was doing a number on your psyche. the sheer loneliness seemed to eat away at not only your sanity but aided to your artist’s block - it was truly a gruesome cycle. locked away in an beautiful estate that you never asked for.
not only that, but working from home and having an all but nonexistent social life in a country you only permanently moved to a year prior was a fate worse than you had imagined.
you huffed, finally setting your small brush down on the easel, stepping back to assess your final draft. despite being so unmotivated and plum out of ideas, you were still proud of what you created - you had promised yourself long ago that you’d never sell a piece you abhorred, and you’d remained true to that promise thus far.
a blaring ring ripped you out of your critical trance trained on the landscape in front of you, startling you as your heartbeat quickened in pace.
“hello?” you answered, soft voice flowing through the other end as you anticipated the response from the unknown caller.
“yah! y/n! is that you?” the voice that responded was loud and excited, the baritone of it something you could never forget. a staple soundtrack from the summers you spent with your father in south korea.
“mingi? how’d you get my number?” you asked, a genuine smile flooding your face at the sound of his familiar laugh on the other end. 
of course, the two of you had stayed in brief contact since meeting as children. but as you grew, you saw less of each other. three years ago he and his boyfriend, yunho, had successfully started their own rehabilitation and adoption center for hybrids. the first year was hard, but the business quickly gained popularity and as the creator - he’d been exceptionally busy since her permanent move to south korea. they had two permanent doctors on staff, kim hongjoong and park seonghwa, along with a 24 hour staff. the workers were really exceptional, but you had only ever met their core group when the business first started. which included: choi san, jung wooyoung, choi jongho, kang yeosang, the two doctors, and of course the two owners.
“you were commissioned by a friend of mine! which is actually why i wanted to reach out.” he answered happily as your breathing evened and heartbeat finally settled.
“it’s good to hear from you, really. what can i do for you?” you asked sweetly, and mingi only briefly thought about teasing you for your soft tone and giving nature.
“would you be able to come to the adoption wing today? i’m working here all day as we’ve some new hybrids ready to find a new home. maybe in about an hour? you could join me on my rounds and we could talk. i’d like to see you, anyways. i’ve missed you.” mingi spoke professionally, but his admission made tears prick at your eyes. he almost sounded like the sixteen year old boy who had stolen your first kiss when visiting your father that summer and the memory of when things were simpler stung in your chest. your cheeks flushed. mingi smiled at your silence, knowing he had flustered his best childhood friend. you narrowed your eyes briefly, as he had tried to convince you many times in the past to adopt a hybrid of your own - but you had declined, not entirely convinced that you could provide an exceptional life for another being. because even though your knowledge on hybrids wasn't nearly as advanced as mingi’s, you still knew the basics. they weren't just animals, they were human. and there was no guarantee there. there never was with humans. you hesitate.
“y-yes. i can come by, i’ve just got to swing by and deliver my painting beforehand.” you answered as you both agreed on the meeting the time. “oh, and mingi? i’ve missed you, too.” you said genuinely as he broke into a toothy smile. it had been ages since he’d seen you, and though he knew he could blame it on his work - he didn’t know how to face you after the death of your father. he couldn’t bring himself to be there for you, to see you so broken, and he had blamed himself for that everyday. it was a relief to hear you say it. you had always been so forgiving, sometimes to a fault.
after bidding your goodbyes to the tall boy on the other side of the phone, you quickly changed clothes into something not completely ruined by the muted pigments of your paint, loaded up in your small suv, and you were off.
the delivery of your piece went smoothly, no heckling or disapproving gazes from the wealthy couple, which made your trip to TWILIGHT that much faster. you pushed open the double doors connected to the building in the right wing, clearly labeled ADOPTION. 
the smell of roses and lavender was strong in the reception area, the scent was welcoming and calming as you walked up to the front desk. 
“y/n!” the dark haired boy behind the computer called, finally rolling away from behind the screen. kang yeosang. “it’s so good to see you!” he exclaimed, eyes scanning your face as he made his way around the counter and pulled you into a soft embrace.
“likewise, yeo! it’s been a while hasn't it?” you ask rhetorically as you stare up at his daunting height.
“mmm” he hummed with a nod, releasing you. “i'll let mingi know you’re here.” he called, returning to his place behind the sleek desk, paging mingi, and then proceeding to catch up with you.
the small conversation didn’t last long before a pair of heavy footsteps drug your gaze to the wide staircase, mingi barreling down them.
you braced yourself as the giant scooped you up into a bone crushing embrace, spinning your small frame around in a circle as he let out a happy laugh. your arms snaked around the man’s neck to secure your place and return the hug.
you giggled happily as mingi finally set you down in your original place, looking down at you excitedly. had he gotten taller? impossible. maybe you had shrunk?
after an exchange of excited greetings, mingi gestured to his clipboard before finally asking, “you ready?”
you nodded softly and followed close behind as he guided you down the halls of the adoption center. he gave you the rundown of their center, showing you the wide expanse of spotless rooms sealed in by plexiglass to show the hybrids ready to be rescued. he explained that most hybrids were separated by predator, prey, species, breed, etc. but many were grouped together with their respective packs. the rooms were quite lavish, but not very homey. but what could you expect from an adoption clinic? the point was to find homes.
you passed many show exhibits, watching intently at the small dogs or tall humans sitting in the rooms patiently, playing with one another or napping quietly. you cooed at a few.
“so i asked to see you because i’d love to have your art displayed in our business.” he propositioned, leading you into an empty room as the automatic doors opened and shut behind you. you nodded, heart lurching a bit as you recalled your artist’s block. you shook the thought away as you observed the room. it was large, littered with scattered pieces of nice furniture and random toys. “ideally, i’d love to have your pieces throughout the whole establishment but this is my main concern.” he finished, gesturing to the empty space on the large wall, the one you’re faced with when first entering.
“are you wanting a mural?” you ask, voice now stable and a bit louder. 
“i'd like the piece to cover the majority of the wall, but i’d rather have it on canvas if that’s doable. in case it needs to be moved.” he explained as you nodded, taking in rough measurements of the space as mingi explained his vision for the space - effectively helping you circulate a few ideas on what you could create. you accepted his offer as he discussed payment and supplies with you, adding in an extra cost at the large measurement of the canvas you’d need custom made.
the air in the room grew a bit thick at the sound of a small beep, alerting the two of you to another door opening. your skin was now a bit hot and you suddenly became very aware of your surroundings. your fingers tingled a bit. usually a foreign feeling such as the one you were experiencing would send you into a panic, but it didn’t. if anything you felt quite calm as you looked on inquisitively at the distant thump coming toward the two of you.
“ah, it’s look like some of our hybrids are finished with their check ups.” mingi announced as you nodded lazily. he turned to you. “we usually send them into the lounge area for about an hour after routine check ups. helps them calm down.”
suddenly, you could pay no mind to mingi’s words as a black bunny rounded the corner, back foot slapping the tile exceptionally hard every so often as you smiled down at the creature happily. it stopped in it’s tracks as it’s gaze landed upon you, rearing up on it’s back legs, and tilting it’s head innocently as it examined you. 
you knelt down to greet him, the bunny immediately approaching you and sniffing your hand before accepting you and nuzzling into you closer. mingi was taken aback as he observed the usually reserved and nervous rabbit.
“hello.” you cooed, stroking the bunny effortlessly, careful to avoid his ears and tail, briefly recalling how sensitive they could be. “what’s your name?” you asked as mingi coughed.
“this is jeongguk, he’s one of our younger hyrbrids. the youngest in his pack.” he told you as you picked the bunny up and set him into your small lap. mingi almost gasped at the interaction between you and the rabbit as you pet him happily.
your trance was interrupted at the light purr and brush of a small calico next to you. you instinctively reach out to pet him, as he rubbed into your hand. “and who might you be?”
“this is jimin, the two are in a pack.” mingi attempted to explain, trying to understand the absence of jimin’s usually protective behavior and unable to tell you the full story before you asked him something he was not expecting.
“and they’re ready to be adopted?” you asked softly, not even looking up at mingi as he stuttered. the idea of adopting a hybrid didn’t seem so far-fetched now at how taken you were with the two animals in your lap. you could handle the bunny and cat, without a doubt.
“y-yes but we only adopt out entire packs together and -”
“of course, i wouldn’t dream of separating them. is there anyway i could meet them properly, as soon as i possible i think -” you interrupt. starting to gush a bit, voice hushed and excitable.
mingi cut you off, “no, y/n. you aren’t listening. they aren’t just a pack of two.” he sighed, as your gaze finally met his. “in fact they aren’t just bunny and calico, they’re pack also includes that of a wolf, black panther, deer, great dane, and tiger... their pack has been hard to adopt out as it’s so rare for such a large mix of predators and prey... but they found each other and experienced a lot together... it was only inevitable. and we can’t separate them, we refuse to. and they won’t leave one another.” he finally finished explaining as your expression fell. you let out a breath. seven hybrids. all male. and three apex predators, at that. the thought of suddenly thrusting seven knew faces - seven new men - into your home was intimidating to say the least.
you looked down at the two animals in your lap, the bunny almost looked cresfallen. gauging your reaction as his big brown eyes stared at you expectantly. as if he knew you’d reject him. mingi continued rambling on about how many adopters had expressed interest in at least one of the pack but were never willing to bring in all seven. it hurt your heart as you watched on the bunny and calico.
the estate your father had left you was empty, though. begging to be occupied. you had more than enough room and were blessed with an untouched inheritance. maybe this is what you should use it for. you had always felt too guilty to spend it. but nothing seemed more right, which was a shocking realization to someone who never thought they’d adobt a hybrid.
“could i meet them? the seven of them? i’d at least want to give them a chance... truthfully, i dont think i can leave them behind.” you admitted softly, the bunny and cat both perked up, ears raised and twitching.
“of course. i can arrange a meeting and speak with them tonight... i’ll gather their files for you to take home tonight. can you make it back in again tomorrow?” mingi asked after a deafening pause of hesitation, mouth hanging agape before coming back into reality.
“i’ll be here.”
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goddesswritings · 4 years ago
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Sins of Lovers - Colby Brock | Part One
Title: Sins of Lovers – Part One
Pairing: Colby Brock x Reader
Summary: Y/n has had a crush on Colby since middle school and now it’s ten years later when he comes back into her life. He’s back in the most unexpected way and the most unexpected of things happens between the two of them.
Word Count: 4.8 k
Warnings: Cheating parents, divorce, bullying, horrible parenting, moody Colby. 
This is an old fic that I think fits Colby. Enjoy.
MASTERLIST
********
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Colby Brock. A guy that had been your crush since eighth grade, when he’d moved to town. There was something about him that called you back to him time and time again. He was a kind soul with a passion for life. He was someone you felt you could get along with.
But his whole attitude changed when the two of you started high school. He quickly became cold and rude. Quickly climbing the social ladder to join ranks with the most popular students in the school. These were the same people who bullied you and your friends.
It should have ended your crush on him, but it didn’t. The crush only seemed to grow as you watched him from afar. You would catch glimpses of the old him from time to time, which gave you hope that he was still in there.
Sophomore year, his attitude worsened, and he grew meaner to the people around him. News got around that his parents had divorced because his dad had been having an affair behind his mother’s back. It was also known she left town and now he was stuck with his father. He began to join in on the bullying, proving his new standing in school. During this time, you still watched him and searched for glimpses of the old Colby. They were becoming far and few.
Junior year, he started dating Paige Marcus, the IT girl of the school. All the boys wanted her and most of the girls wanted to be her. She was your personal tormentor and she had been for years. She’d taken a dislike to you in fourth grade, when you got the lead in the class play that year. That girl hated you more than anyone thought was possible.
It was a real heartbreak the first time you’d seen Colby and Paige walking hand in hand down the hallway. Your smile had faded, and you wanted to just cry. All over a boy who had never taken a notice to you. Especially because you were just some nerdy girl and he was now popular.
One day, you had been late to school, so you had to rush to get to class. As you ran through the hallway to get to class in time. You ran into Colby, literally. You collided hard with his built form, falling onto your ass.
Colby just simply looked down at you and laughed. “You should watch where you’re going, nerd.” He growled when anger flashed through his eyes.
Paige was hanging on his arm and glaring at you, as per usual. “Yeah loser, you really should watch where you’re going. My boyfriend didn’t need to be inconvenienced by you.” What was she? Colby’s parrot?
Paige laughed and kicked my books across the hallway. Colby laughed along with her, and pain flashed through my chest. “There better not be a next time.” He grumbled before stepping over you and walking away with Paige beside him.
Tears welled up in your eyes, misting up your glasses. You had been so embarrassed that day. You’d hoped it would end your crush on him, but it didn’t.
Senior year, Paige set out to personally destroy you at every chance she got. Colby was by her side each time, laughing along with her. That year was absolute hell for you. There was no escape from Paige’s wrath.
The worst day nearly broke you.
It was the middle of January and it had just snowed, making the town a frosty wasteland. There was a fire drill shortly after third period began and everyone was ushered out to the cold.
You stood with your class minding your own business when Paige approached you, dragging you from the other students. You’d struggled against her, not knowing why she had pulled you away.
“What do you want?” You asked while her nails dug into your arm.
“Just teaching you a lesson.” She said as you stopped next to a huge frozen snow bank.
“Why do you have to do this to me, Paige?” You questioned when she stole your glasses from your face. “No, give those back.” You attempted to reach for them, but the blurriness had taken over. As you were about to grab them, she threw them to her friend, Cassie. So you moved to get them from her, but she was keeping you from being able to retrieve them.
“Give me my glasses!” Your voice was loud because you were angry the snickering bitches had stolen them from you.
Suddenly, Cassie dropped them to the ground and stepped on them. A crunch could be heard as she ruined your chance for clear vision.
“Oops, my bad.” Cassie spoke while she continued to wreck your glasses.
“Stop! Why are you doing this?” Tears had begun to gather in your already blurry eyes.
“Oh look, we have a cry baby on our hands.” Paige taunted before pushing you towards the ground.
Your left hand went out to catch you, making contact with the frozen ground before your body weight came crashing down onto it. A sharp pain shot through your wrist, making you cry out as the pain hit. Paige and Cassie were just cracking up the whole time.
The world was blurry around you as you lifted your hand from the ground. Pain radiated through your arm, starting from your wrist.
“What are you guys doing?” A familiar voice cut through the two girls’ laughter. It was Colby and you were afraid he was here to join in on the torture.
“Oh baby, we were just teaching Y/n a lesson.” Paige answered in a supposedly sweet voice, but anyone could hear the venom hidden in her words.
“By breaking her glasses and hurting her?” He suddenly sounded mad.
“It’s just a joke.” Paige tried to sound like it wasn’t as big problem.
“Hurting people isn’t a joke, Paige!” He was yelling now. Then he was beside you, bending down to your level. “Are you okay, Y/n?” You couldn’t really see him all that clearly, but you could tell he was looking at the wrist you were clutching to your chest.
“No, it hurts a lot.” You whimpered as the pain continued to shoot through your arm.
“Okay, let’s get you to the nurse.” He was gentle as he helped you up from the ground.
“Why are you helping her?” Paige was now frustrated.
“She needs help.” He stated as he bent down to pick up your broken glasses from the ground.
“She’s not one of us, Colby, just leave her alone.”
“No, get out of the way.” He pushed by her and Cassie while leading you towards the school. The fire drill was over at this point.
It was quiet between the two of you as he led you through the hallway full of students who were headed back to class.
“Thank you for helping me.” You said to Colby, in a soft voice.
“Don’t mention it. Paige is a bitch a she needs to be put in her place.” He spoke as you walked into the nurses office. Once again, you had seen a glimpse of the old Colby which only proved to you that he was still in there.
You ended up having to go to the hospital, much to your mothers dismay. It was a serious inconvenience for her to leave work to take you to the hospital. She practically yelled the whole drive there. Your broken glasses were another yelling point for her. At the hospital, it was determined your wrist had been broken, which only angered her further. Not that any of it had been your fault, but she claimed you’d been the one to evoke the girls in the first place. Your mother and you weren’t particularly close.
After that incident, Paige and Colby had called it quits and Paige blamed you, of course. The rest of your senior year was pure hell for you, thanks to Paige and her friends.
You were more than happy to get away from there, luckily. You had received a scholarship to a college three hours away and your father’s house was twenty minutes from it, so you stayed with him. College was lonely for you, though. Because you weren’t all that great at making new friends and your father was always away for work, or on vacation with his new wife. A wife who didn’t like you much either.
Throughout it all, your crush on Colby never once faded. You didn’t know if it ever would.
****
10 years from the time you first began to like Colby, you were returning back to your mother’s house. You’d graduated from college and found a job close to her place, and thankfully she was letting you come back. You promised yourself you wouldn’t be there long before you found a place for yourself. You couldn’t help but to feel nervous about being back at her home. It would bring back memories of high school and Colby, but you highly doubted that he still lived in town.
You pulled into your mother’s driveway, staring at the sage green house in front of you. You’d grown up in this house. Your father had once lived in this house with you. The house held so many memories for you. Good and bad.
Sighing, you finally got out of the car and grabbed your bags from the back. You slowly made your way to the front door and let yourself into the house. Immediately, the aroma of cooking food filled your nostrils. Odd. Your mother hated to cook. You put your bags by the stairs and went to the kitchen. You found your mother standing in front of the stove wearing a blue dress. She never wore dresses.
“Hi mom.” You said getting her attention.
She turned around with a huge smile. “Hello honey. How was the drive back?” She had abandoned the stove to pull you into a hug.
“The drive was fine. What are you dressed up for?”
“Oh honey, I’m so excited. I’ve been seeing this man for a few months now and I’ve invited him and his son to dinner to welcome you home.”
This surprised you. Your mother had never successfully dated since your father left her.
“Yes okay, wow. Congrats mom. I look forward to meeting them.” You honestly were.
“I think you will like him, and his son is about your age and just a sweet young man.”
“Well I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you baby. You should go get settled in. They will be here in about an hour.” She then sent you off towards the stairs. The person you were just talking to was definitely not the person she was before you left for college. You purposely didn’t come home to visit all that often because you were afraid of who you would come home to.
After a quick shower, you sat at your counter to do your makeup. You were happy that you no longer had to wear glasses, because two years ago, your dad had gifted you laser surgery as a sorry for never being around. He still wasn’t around after that though, but you learned to expect that from him. After he left, you weren’t really much of a thought in his head.
You decided on a nice purple dress of yours and a pair of flat black booties for your feet and left your room. When you were halfway down the stairs, the doorbell went off.
“Y/n, could you get that?” Your mother asked from the kitchen.
“Yes.” You said, stopping in front of the door.
You flung open the door, instantly panicking as you saw who was on the other side. Colby Brock beside an older man, that must be his father. Your mom was dating his dad.
“Hello, come on in.” You moved out of the way so they could enter the house. Colby’s eyes were glued to you, which sent chills through your body. Oh god, tonight was going to be hell.
Your mother exited the kitchen and pulled Colby’s dad into a kiss. You grimaced and turned away from the scene. “Y/n sweetie, I want you to meet John Brock and his son Colby.” She introduced the men to you.
“I went to high school with Colby.” Colby was way hotter than you remember him being. He was sexy, tall, and muscular. He had this really sexy dyed blue hair upon his head. The man was perfect.
“Oh really? Do you remember her being so clumsy in high school? Her senior year, she broke both her glasses and wrist all in one day.” Your mother’s words made you blush in pure embarrassment.
“If I remember correctly, Y/n had her glasses stolen before she was pushed into a snowbank. So it wasn’t her fault.” Colby defended you, shocking you.
“Oh, looks like you had a friend in high school, Y/n.” You face grew red now.
“I think dinner is done. I’m going to go set the table.” You quickly dismissed yourself and ran off to the kitchen to grab the plates and silverware. You desperately hoped your mom wasn’t going to keep embarrassing you throughout dinner.
You were setting up the plates when your mother entered the room, followed by Colby and his father. You idly wondered if Colby had a girlfriend.  He had to have a girlfriend with how sexy he was.
“Thank you, Y/n. Can you grab the food for us?” She questioned while already being seated next to John.
“I’ll help you.” Colby said while following you into the kitchen. “How are you doing, Y/n?” He questioned.
You pulled the food from the oven and set it on the stove. “I’m alright. Not too thrilled to be back at my moms, but it’s okay.”
“I know what you mean. Living with my dad is hard. But I haven’t seen him much since he’s been seeing your mom.”
You began to put the other food into bowls for the two of you to carry. “How long have they been dating?” Your mother never said a length of time, only that she was dating someone.
“I’m not too sure, but I know it’s been over six months.”
“She kept it a secret from me.” You concluded. To be honest, it hurt that she kept something that big from you.
“My dad is the same, but he’s been that way all my life. I found out about his affair from someone at school. So that should tell you everything you need to know.”
That was rough. ��I’m sorry, Colby.”
He just shrugged. “I’m over it now.” But you didn’t know if he was, but you weren’t going to push him.
The both of you carried the food into the dining room, where your mom and his dad were deep in conversation. The two of them looked up when you entered the room. You placed the food onto the table and took your seats, which happened to be right next to each other. Your mom and his dad were on one side and you and Colby were on the other.
You were still in shock that your crush was right here in front of you. You were double shocked that your mom was dating his dad. How in the world did that happen?
“It’s good to have you home, Y/n.” Your mom said as you started to plate the food.
“Thanks mom. It’s good to be home.” You didn’t know how truthful she was being though because the two of you haven’t gotten along for all of your life. She’s blamed you for your dad leaving and treated you like crap for it.
Dinner went on like that, with idle conversation and moments of silence. Truth be told, it was awkward as hell. You kept stealing glances at Colby, to find him pushing his food around before he would glance your way as well. You would always look away while a light blush appeared on your face.
“Alright kids, now that we have finished dinner, we wanted to talk to you about something.” John said once all the plates had been cleared.
“Sure.” Colby said, while you just nodded.
“We wanted to take a family vacation, so we can get to know each other’s family. So we booked a vacation to Boca Raton for a week.” Your mom said catching the two of you off guard.
“Oh, okay. But you know I have a job to start, right?” You stated.
“Yes sweetie, I know your job doesn’t start until next month and we leave in two days.”
“Great.” Colby’s voice was void of emotions. Like you, he wasn’t thrilled about your parents attempts to mesh the families together.
“You don’t sound too thrilled about this, Colby.” John noticed.
“I’m not. I’m being forced to get to know your new girlfriend and her daughter when I would rather not be involved. It’s not going to go anywhere, just liked the rest of them. You will probably cheat again.”
His words were harsh, but you could definitely see where he was coming from. But you couldn’t help but feel he had a dislike for you simply because your mom was dating his dad.
“That’s where you are wrong. I love Susanne and we are going to make this work whether you like it or not.” John was defensive against his moody son.
“Whatever you say. Are we finished here? I have somewhere to be.” He pushed his chair from the table and got up.
“I’m sorry, Sue, I don’t know where he got the attitude from. I promise he will be better on the trip.” You just rolled my eyes and stood up and started gathering the empty plates. Your mother followed John and Colby out while you started to clean up.
You were washing the dishes, when your mother entered the kitchen behind you.
“So Y/n, did you like John?” She questioned while you glanced over at her.
“I don’t know him enough to know whether I do or not.” You said truthfully.
“Well you should like him. He makes me happy and I’m in love with him.”
A sick feeling formed in your stomach.
“How long have you two been dating?” You needed to know how long she kept it a secret from you.
“Ten months.”
“You kept it a secret from me for 10 months!” You raised your voice as the anger took over. You put the sponge down and turned to face her.
“Yes, we didn’t talk much, and I didn’t think it was that big of a thing to keep from you. Besides, you were busy with college and whatever else you were doing at your fathers, I didn’t want to bother you.”
Her excuse was pure bullshit to you. “Save the shitty excuse and admit you didn’t think about telling me.” You growled turning away from her.
“What? No honey, why would you think that. You’re my daughter and you mean a lot to me.”
Once again you faced her, “I mean a lot to you? That’s a fucking lie. You blamed me all my life for my father leaving you, but you didn’t stop to think about that fact that he left me too. You made my life hell because you weren’t happy with yours. What kind of mother does that?”
She just laughed it off. “You’re overexaggerating it. Now finish the dishes, I’m going to relax.” Before you could say another word, she was out the door.
****
Two days later, you were sitting in an airport, with Colby beside you and both your parents in some seats across from you. Both of you were equally unhappy to be here, while both parents acted like lovebirds. It was honestly gross to watch.
“Holy fuck, do they ever stop.” You groaned, taking your eyes away from them.
“Nope, they are constantly all over each other.” Colby stated looking down at his phone. “You seem angry.” He noticed.
“I am.” You grumbled, thinking about the conversation you had with your mother the other day. Like always, she managed to make you feel like shit instead of acknowledging her wrong doings.
“What did she do?” His focus was now strictly on you.
“She didn’t think telling me about her new boyfriend was important. She practically admitted to forgetting I existed once I was out of the house. Growing up with her as my mother was hell and she has never once apologized for the shit she did to me. For years, she blamed me for her and my fathers divorce. I was 4 when they divorced.” You said making sure your voice was low, so she wouldn’t hear it.
Colby was silent for a little while. “That’s horrible. What kind of mother blames their child for a divorce?”
“Mine apparently. Now she wants to suddenly act like it didn’t happen.”
“Well I think that’s bullshit. I can see right through them, you know. They are just using each other for company. My father has never been able to be faithful, every woman he has dated were all just an excuse to have some fun. He also resents my mom for moving on from him and marrying someone whose better to her.”
“That’s fucked.”
“You’re telling me. My father is immune to commitment.”
“We have some fucked up parents.” He nodded and sent a glare to both your parents who were giggling to themselves.
The flight was called shortly after that, so the two of you followed your parents onto the plane. Colby and you were going to be sitting next to complete strangers, while your parents snuggled up together. It was not fun. Your flight was annoying, because the middle-aged man beside you kept checking you out and trying to talk to you, despite you politely telling him you weren’t interested in conversing. It was complete hell.
Arriving in Boca Raton was a godsend because you couldn’t stand being next to this guy anymore. The last half hour of the flight, he spent it trying to guess your name and persuade your number out of you. You were seconds away from punching him, but luckily the plane landed, and you were able to get out of there quickly. Colby sent you a look as you exited the plane, you just grumbled under your breath.
“Well that flight was wonderful, wasn’t it kids?” Your mother asked as John waited for the luggage to come around.
“Fuck no. That was the worst flight I have ever taken.” You said, holding your anger back.
“Oh sweetie, lighten up. We’re on vacation.” Her words sparked even more anger.
“The old guy next to me kept hitting on me and wouldn’t shut the fuck up the whole flight.”
“Watch your language.” Was all she said before she strolled up to stand beside John.
Colby just chuckled from beside you. You sent him a glare and walked away from the group. You didn’t want to be here with them. You didn’t want to spend a whole week with your mom and her boyfriend that you knew nothing about. You didn’t want to spend the whole week pining over Colby when you knew he would never like you the way you liked him. He and you were still in completely different circles and he liked his women blonde and gorgeous. You were anything but that. Okay maybe you’re pretty, but you still thought of yourself as the nerd from high school and you didn’t doubt he did as well.
John and your mother ushered all of you to a rental car, and you were off to the hotel. Colby and you were in the back, silently sitting beside each other. He was on his phone, probably talking to a girlfriend or something.
“Oh, I almost forgot. John upgraded his and I’s room to a suite, but you and Colby will be sharing a regular room.” Your mother said with a huge smile on her face.
“That’s great.” Colby grumbled from beside you, voicing your thoughts out loud.
“Don’t sound so sad. It will be good for you to get to know each other.” John stated sternly, showing authority over Colby.
“Sure, whatever.” Colby said under his breath. you hid your smirk from his words. He nudged your side when he saw that.
You were nervous as hell now. You would be sharing a room with Colby. The man you’ve had a crush on for nearly 10 years. This was going to be one hell of an experience; you were sure of it.
The car pulled up to the hotel, which was this huge building that looked like it had been here for a while. It was beautiful and right on the beach as well. It was surely a resort and perhaps it wouldn’t be a horrible place to stay. But your nerves were still on edge about this whole vacation. Your moms attachment to Colby’s dad scared you.
Colby and you were given the keycards to the room before your parents left both of you alone to fend for yourselves. Honestly, their behavior was disgusting to you.
“Let’s get to our room I guess.” Colby grumbled, picking up his suitcase and heading towards the elevators in the opposite direction of where our parents had gone. You quickly grabbed yours and followed after him.
The two of you stepped into a gold-plated elevator and he hit the eighth floor, where your room was located. You felt like he was resenting you, because he would have to spend the whole week with you.
“I’m sorry that you have to stay with me.” You mumbled as the elevator moved up floor by floor.
The angry scowl left his face as he glanced towards you. “No, I don’t mind staying with you. I’m mad at our parents for just springing all of this onto us last minute.”
You let out a sigh of relief when he said this. You really thought he hated you or something.
“Oh, I thought you hated me.” You admitted while looking towards the carpeted floor of the elevator.
“I don’t hate you, Y/n. I haven’t ever really hated you, even when I was dating Paige.” His words surprised you.
“Really? Then why was I treated like crap when you dated her?” There was no way he didn’t hate you then.
“Because Paige was always a huge bitch and blackmailed me into treating you that way.”
“Oh, well it’s okay then.”
He shook his head. “It’s not okay at all really. I should have never done some of the things I have done. But I was horrible in high school after my parents’ divorce.”
“Well it’s good to know you didn’t and don’t hate me. Also, don’t blame yourself for the way you acted as a result of the divorce. It was traumatic to you and you only did what helped you feel better.”
“I guess so. I wish I could take so much back.”
“That’s impossible, but you can continue to be a better person from now into the future.” It wasn’t good that he was beating himself up over the past.
He sent you a kind smile. “You’re right. Thank you for that, Y/n.”
You sent him a smile as well. “No problem. Now, should we get this vacation started?” You questioned as the two of you stopped in front of the door to the room.
Colby opened the door and the two of you entered the room. It was a surprisingly nice room for it being a regular room. There was two queen sized beds, covered in crème sheets and comfy looking pillows. There was a decently sized sitting area with a nice flat screen TV. The bathroom was gorgeous, with a huge, jetted tub and a beautiful walk-in shower. The best part was the private balcony we had that overlooked the beautiful blue ocean. Staying here wasn’t going to be so bad.
“This is way nicer than I expected.” He spoke your thoughts.
“Yes, I agree. But this is an upscale hotel.” You stated as you set your bags down on one of the two beds. The beds looked so comfy, you wanted to just take a nap at the moment.
“True.” He answered when his phone went off. He was silent as he checked it. “Our parents want us to meet up in the Lobby at 7 for dinner.” His voice was flat when he mentioned the parents.
“Oh great. Well, that means there’s time for a nap.” You moved your bags from the bed and pulled your shoes off. You pulled back the covers and got into the comfy bed. Your body was in bliss the minute you laid down on the bed. It was absolutely perfect. Your eyes grew heavy as soon as your head hit the pillow. The nap was much needed.
PART TWO >>
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primergon · 3 years ago
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KINDA ANGSTY SCENARIO REQUEST: how would the tfp bots or cons (or both if you can) be at raising their child after loosing their human conjux, how would the loss affect them and the way they take care of the kid(s)? (sorry for any grammar mistakes, English is not my first language)
A/N: Thank you for sending this in Anon! Don't worry about your english, it's really good ! I'm going to the Autobots for your ask and if a lot of people enjoy this then I'll make a part two with the Decepticons! I hope that's alright <3
1. Whether it was under the influence of the matrix or not, Optimus had always wanted a sparkling. There were stories of how the matrix encourages its bearer to create life, a survival instinct crafted by the old gods to ensure that the Cybertronian race persevered. Yet even when he was still an archivist, Orion had always wanted to raise a bitlet. Therefore, even if he grieves over the loss of his conjunx, he was still the doting father. Even if Optimus was constantly torn between his responsibilities as both a leader and a father, he always seemed to make time for both. He would teach them the alphabet and read them bedtime stories, and Optimus was an expert in balancing discipline and encouragement since he used to take young soldiers under his wing. There was a familiar ache against his spark when he realizes the baby had inherited their carrier's optic colour. Whenever the sparkling cries at night, he would scoop them up in his arms gently. Cooing and rocking the little bitlet until they fall asleep. Whenever things get too difficult for Optimus, he would always look up to wonder if his conjunx is watching them. It warms his spark to know that his little sparkling will grow up just to be like their carrier. It gives him all the more reason to win this war.
2. Your death change Bumblebee. Even after the war ended and he had his voice back, it was as if the light inside him had dimmed. He turned quiet and mostly kept to himself. If it wasn't for the little sparkling you both had together, Bumblebee wouldn't have healed properly. He pushed himself to continue for your bitlet's sake, always striving to be the best father. He often seeks Optimus for advice, and when he wasn't there, Arcee and Bulkhead were more than happy to help out. Even Ultra Magnus is open to giving the Scout advice. The war sometimes makes people forget just how young Bumblebee was. He was old enough to have children of course, but he was way too young to be widowed. And so he and his sparkling learned from one another, and parenthood was a different kind of challenge for him. But the moment the baby wraps their little hand around his finger, Bumblebee knew that all the sleepless nights were worth it. He just wished you were here to see the little sparkling fall asleep against his arm.
3. Bulkhead didn't hide his grief. He would openly talk about you to his sparkling, trying to hold back tears as he remembered all the good memories you shared. He was an excellent father, even if he sometimes doubts it. Wheeljack would often remind him that he's doing amazing, even offering to babysit the bitlet while Bulkhead gets some rest. The wrecker often gets angry at the world for being unfair, for taking you away from him, from your baby. Going as far as to punch holes into the metal walls of the base. Yet, the gentle giant made sure his sparkling would never see that side of him. Always affectionate and attentive to the bitlet that reminds him so much of you. Miko would let the bitlet sit on her lap, playing with her while Bulkhead watches nearby. He often visits your grave with the baby, talking to you as if you were there to listen - and Bulkhead knows, somewhere up there, you were listening.
4. Angry. Arcee was upset, frustrated and so very angry. The world keeps on taking and taking from her. It broke her heart to know that her bitlet would grow up in such a cruel world. Yet, the moment she looks into their eyes and sees a reflection of you in them, Arcee made a promise to make sure that no hurt will ever come to her sparkling. It's funny how she used to tease June for being a helicopter mom because Arcee is no different. She's protective, sometimes too protective of the baby. Always worrying every five minutes even after Ratchet had ordered her to get some sleep. She doesn't trust anyone outside of team Prime with her child, and even if they wanted to hold the baby she would have to be close to keep watch. Jack would often watch over them, entertaining the gibberish coming out of their mouth. It warms her spark to know that even under all that loss, she still has love left inside of her. And she swore to give it all to the sparkling in her arms. Not a day goes by without her thinking of you.
5. Even if it wasn't his fault, Ratchet couldn't stop blaming himself for it. The memory of your death playing over and over again in his processor. It made him feel unworthy of the baby in his arms. He doesn't show his grief, but underneath that exterior, Ratchet was crushed. There was a multitude of emotions overwhelming him, sadness, regret, worry, anger, pain - so much pain. The hurt only goes away when the baby laughs. That gave him the push to pull himself together. Ratchet is naturally idealistic, he sets high standards for himself to cope with your absence. He became preoccupied with taking care of the baby, and if he wasn't, he was reading on how to become the ' best father.' Optimus has to constantly remind him that we cannot create the perfect parent out of a test tube. Every mistake made Ratchet feel ashamed, yet he accepted the fact that parenthood was all about learning. He wasn't religious, but Primus does the old mech feel blessed to have the baby in his arms.
6.Smokescreen still couldn't fully accept your death, stuck within this loop of bargaining and denial. It pained everyone around him to see Smokescreen so torn. The only thing that kept him grounded was the Sparkling. He loves how they remind him to stay cheerful, giving him hope even when he can barely smile. He remains optimistic for your baby's sake, knowing he still has so much to learn about being a sire. Smokescreen wasn't a perfect parent, mistakes naturally occur, but what makes him a great parent is that he tries to be better. He was maturing into a better person because of his child, achieving the best version of himself through fatherhood. Eventually, he knows he should move on from the grief, but just because Smokescreen decided to accept your death for the sake of your child doesn't mean he forgot about you. He knows that you'll always be in his spark. He wonders if you're proud of him.
7.Being a father was not something Wheeljack had predicted for himself. He had always seen himself as a lone mech, never grounded to one place. It was just heartbreaking to see that when he finally decided to build a home with you, the universe had other plans. Wheeljack guarded his emotions and kept to himself because he doesn't want to get hurt, so your death made him withdrew even more. He was angry at himself. Yet when he held the sparkling in his arms, Wheeljack realized that they needed him more than ever. He doubts he'll make a good father, but Team Prime was more than willing to help him. Bulkhead gave him a lot of pointers on how to care for the baby, even Ultra Magnus had offered some advice. Fatherhood helped him heal and at the same time, it made him realize that he still has a home. As reckless as Wheeljack was he's protective towards his baby. He only begins to cut himself some slack when Arcee compared him to Ultra Magnus. Wheeljack knew children were different from assembling ships. There was no manual. He struggled a lot, but through time and a lot of patience, he was happy to see that his sparkling grew into a mini version of himself. They remind him so much of you and Wheeljack wished you were there to see him now.
8.Ultra Magnus lives a life of fighting. Even before the war, he was already part of the military. As the leader of the Wreckers and the Autobot's second in command, Ultra Magnus has to make sure he has nothing to lose. He cannot afford any kind of liability that would hold him back. Therefore, when he lost you, he couldn't help but beat himself up for it. He feels responsible for putting you in such a dangerous position, even if your death had nothing to do with him. A common misconception is that Ultra Magnus doesn't feel, but in reality, he feels too much to the point where your death pushed him into drinking. Ultra Magnus has a hard time allowing himself grief, so once he does, he loses control for the first time in his life. The main reason he sobered up was that he knew he had a child to look after. He was attentive and observant, always providing for the sparkling whenever it cries or gets hungry. Yet, a baby is nowhere near one of his subordinates. Even if he's aware of this, he sometimes still finds himself stuck in difficult situations. The commander has a hard time asking for help, but thankfully those around him were more than willing to help out. Ultra Magnus was a strict parent. He often grows too protective of his child. The thought of losing someone after you was unbearable. However, with a little reminder here and there, Ultra Magnus had managed to raise a wonderful child. Ultra Magnus would often take a look at the holo-picture of you he keeps in his subspace and feel proud. He was happy to see that his child took after their carrier.
A/N : I hope this was what you wanted Anon <3
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whitexwingedxdoves · 3 years ago
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losing grip | one shot
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Pairing: Maggie Rhee x Platonic! Reader Warnings: Language, Angst. Summary: It had been years since your best friend disappeared and you never thought that when she returned, it would end up in an argument.  A/N: ahhhhhhhhh, I hope you all like this one! I worked really hard on it and it’s an idea i’ve had for the longest time. 
It was quiet in Alexandria today, the wall was almost finished and the new builds were well underway.  Standing in your kitchen, you hovered over Negan who attempted to work some kind of magic on the pipes under your kitchen sink. It seemed like he was finally finished after making a few comments on how clogged your drain had become.
“So is it fixed now?” you seemed a little short with the former saviour but he still managed to strike up that obnoxious smile, wiping away any dirt from his hands with one of your fresh hand towels.
“All done.” He threw the towel to the side and flicked the tap on to prove his handy work.
This time you offered him a genuine smile and the room filled with silence. You were still trying to get used to Negan being a part of the group and it was hard but you had to try, you promised Judith. Which is why you accepted his offer to help with your plumbing.
But it’s hard to let someone in when they took someone away from you.
“Better go,” he spoke softly before pushing past you, making his way to the door. You nodded in his direction and watched as the door closed behind him.
You had never felt so conflicted before, on one hand you hated Negan more than you’ve ever hated anyone but on the other hand, he was proving that he was trying to change and you couldn’t deny what he had done for the community.
You couldn’t dwell too much, the sound of your door reopening caught your attention. It was Carol this time, a welcomed distraction.
“Knock knock.” Her perky spirit only confirmed her visit was a good one. Thank god. “You have a visitor!”
With her ominous words, you cocked a brow and peaked around her as she pushed your door back open.
You recognised that face instantly.
The day Maggie left you were on a run, the details of that day had been lost throughout the years but the one thing that remained sketched on your memory was the way you felt when Enid broke the news that your best friend had left, without a word. For years you’d cooked up the perfect speech for when Maggie finally returned, if she ever did. You’d rehearsed it in the shower, in bed at night when it seemed impossible to fall asleep and every moment in between the words you had so carefully thought out would play on repeat in the back of your mind.
Now, with Maggie Rhee standing right in front of you, your carefully thought out speech seemed to completely disappear along with all the anger you held. None of it mattered now because she was there, right in front of you... in the flesh. That infectious smile gleaming on her face as if nothing happened. It broke you. You ran into her arms and held her so close that you were sure if she was any closer you’d become one person.
Tears stained her shirt as you sobbed into her shoulder, she was crying too which only made you sob harder. You never wanted to let go, scared she might take off again if you did and you most definitely wouldn’t let anyone or anything take her away from you now that you had her back.
Eventually, you did let go and when you did you noticed that Carol had left, giving you both space to really catch up.
“I’ve missed you,” you managed to whisper.
Maggie’s head dropped a little, a look of guilt washing away her smile. It seemed a lot was being unsaid, but neither you nor Maggie felt now was the right time to bring it up.
“So, what do you get up to?” you forced small talk, guiding the woman to your dining table and offering her a seat.  
“Everything” she laughed, taking a seat right beside you.
You laughed along with her, it was nice to hear her laugh again... it was nice to hear her again. You fumbled with your fingers, picking at the dead skin at the sides of your fingernails.
You can tell Maggie was feeling some type of way, her body was closed off and she could barely even look you in the eye.
“Maggie, it’s-“ just as you opened your mouth, you noticed the expression on the widow change and she cut you off.
“How could you just let him into your home like that?” Finally she looked you in the eyes but just not in the way you had expected.
 “After everything he’s taken from us!” Her eyes seemed to fill with tears but you knew by the way her words hissed, they weren’t tears of sadness. She was mad and confused. You could hardly blame her but yet you still bit at her words.
“Are you kidding me right now? Maggie you’ve been gone for years!” A squeak broke your voice and your tears matching Maggie’s “You have no idea what we’ve dealt with, what we’ve done to make sure we stay safe.” You could feel your heart beating out of your chest and tried desperately to stabilize your breathing but it didn’t seem to work. 
“And you think Negan is the answer to that?” The woman scoffed, shaking her head. You had only ever seen her this mad once. 
“Negan has done more for this community recently than anyone else. He put Alexandria first when the rest of us were too wrapped up in our own bullshit, so yes Maggie, he was the answer!” It felt like a fever dream, never had you imagined you’d plead Negan’s case to the women whose life he destroyed. 
Maggie’s face seemed to harden, her jaw clenched and the tears just stopped rolling down her face. Her head slowly tilted in your direction and it seemed like a lifetime had passed since someone had spoken. Once her eyes settled on yours a tear finally fell and she spoke in the softest tone you had known her to use “So is that enough to forgive him for what he’s done or have you just forgotten?” 
You were in pure disbelief. Have you forgotten? It seems like she had forgotten. 
“How dare you say that, I lost people too because of him! It wasn’t just you!” Perhaps you shouldn’t have said that. You did lose people but she lost the most. 
There it was again, that silence. You had to break it, you couldn’t allow yourself to dwell on your words. “You left me Maggie, you left me on my own” You whispered, wiping away the fresh tears with your thumb. It was like you were reliving the moment, like you were right back at Hilltop being told by Enid that your best friend had gone. 
You pushed away from the table and paced the room, chewing your bottom lip as you thought over your words. “You didn’t even tell me you were going! You just left me when I needed you the most!” Turning to finally meet Maggie’s gaze, you were taken back by her expression. 
She looked so sad, which in return made you feel guilty. You hated that it was your doing that she felt that way, almost making you forget why you said those things in the first place.
“I needed to get away,” Maggie snapped but the look of regret never left her face.
A scoff left your lips as you listened to her poor excuse “You’re all I have left in this world, Maggie and you just left because you couldn’t handle it? I could have gone with you if-“
“No.” Taken back by her words, you furrowed your brow as you waited for her explanation but it never seemed to come.
“What do you mean, no?” You were scared of her answer but you needed it. Maybe it would help you get over six years of being in the dark. 
“I couldn’t be near you.” It felt like someone had ripped your heart out of your chest. You struggled to find air and instantly fumbled for something to hold onto.  “You remind me everything I’ve lost” It was like she was trying to soften the blow but it only made it worse. 
You clutched onto the kitchen counter behind you and used it as an aid to control your breathing but for the second time today, the sound of your front door swinging open became a welcomed distraction. 
This time it wasn’t Carol. 
A little boy ran across your kitchen and into the arm’s of Maggie and there was no confusion on who that little boy was. 
Hershel. 
You watched as he wrapped his arms around his mother with a smile that matched hers. It was almost as if you were dreaming. The last time you saw Hershal Rhee, he was struggling to walk and form sentences and giggling at your attempts to play peek-a-boo. 
“Mommy, is this Auntie Y/N? The one you always talk about?” The boy questioned his mother, finally looking over at you. 
God did he melt your heart. 
Your eyes filled with tears, as Maggie nodded at the small child. With confirmation on who you were, Hershel giggled remembering a story his mother once told him about how scared you were of chicken’s when she had first met you. You’d have laughed too. 
He was wearing a baseball cap, just like the ones that Glenn used to wear, and it broke your heart just looking at him. 
He looked so much like his father that it hurt to look for too long but you simply couldn’t take your eyes off him. That’s when you realised that Maggie would never accept Negan, despite what good he’s done or will do, she had a constant reminder of what he was capable of. 
Hershel pushed away from his mother and walked in your direction. When he got closer, he stretched his arms out, welcoming you into a hug and you caved instantly. 
You wrapped your arms around the boy and held him tightly, just hoping you weren’t hurting him. With all you had, you held back the tears and pulled away from Hershel when he squirmed slightly but still gave you his best smile when you came face to face. 
“Mommy was excited to see you again!”  He looked over his shoulder, just to make sure he hadn’t stepped out of place with his words because just like his name sake, he was taught to be polite, after all he was part Greene. 
You too looked over at Maggie and watched as her eyes softened at his words, only slightly peering up at you. 
“We were both excited.” Hershel corrected himself.  
Maggie fumbled with her back pockets, keeping her tears at bay as she watched the wholesome moment unravel. It was good for her son to be here, around the people who helped her get to this point but the lingering thought of Negan made it hard for her to fully commit to her return home. 
“Mommy, can I go play with RJ?” Once his mother gave him a nod, Hershel’s face lit up and he made a run for the door. 
Without a second thought, the two of you followed him outside, stopping at the railings of your porch to quietly observe. There was something infectious about the way the two boys laughed as they played, so much so you found yourself giggling along with them, Maggie too.
“I'm not asking you for forgive Negan” You watched as your words ripped the smile from Maggie’s face but she didn’t dare look at you just yet “I just want you to be happy” you whispered trying to catch her gaze “You deserve to be happy, you both do” 
Maggie finally looked up at you, doe eyed as a small smile took its place on her lips again. You offered her the same smile.
A lot of things were said the day Maggie came back but in time you’d soon forget them and all you’d remember was the way you and your best friend laughed along to the sound of children playing.
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maddiwrites · 4 years ago
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Family and Hope
Pairing: Routledge!Reader x JJ (Kinda) 
Summary: A month after your brother disappeared, you’re confronted by someone you never thought you would see again, forcing you to come to terms with reality.
Note: I made this a reader x JJ pairing but the focus is more on the relationship with the person who’s introduced in this fic! Also if you haven't yet, go over to my page and read my OBX rewrite and let me know what you think (:
Word Count: 4.2k (Do I know how to write a short fic? No.)
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You’ll never forget the day that Shoupe told you he and the FBI “lost” your brother. “Lost” them. Like they were a toddler’s toy that had just been misplaced. No one knew if they were dead or alive, but most made the conclusion that they were never coming back. 
You were ultimately left with no family. After you dad disappeared, all you had was John B. And just like that, he was gone too. Your legal guardian, Ward Cameron, obviously threw you out. But it didn’t take much effort because you weren’t going to go back there anyway. See Ward, whether it be on the streets or on the Local News, nauseated you to no end. You knew he was the reason your dad and brother were gone. The greedy mother fucker would do anything to sit on the highest throne of success and fortune - even going as far as murder. And you knew this world well enough to know that he would never face the consequences of his actions. Because he’s wealthy with an outstanding reputation on this island. And if that wasn’t enough, people now felt sorry for him because his daughter was gone, and everyone blamed that on John B.
Although you were left with no blood relatives, you continue to be surprised by how far your real family would go for you. Mr. Heyward, although always disapproving of you and your friends’ antics, offered to take you in. He promised a roof over your head and food on the table until you turned eighteen so you wouldn’t have to experience foster care. You couldn’t be more grateful especially knowing that he already struggled to support his wife and only kid. 
You tried your hardest to continue living your life as normal as possible. Most days, you pretended like your brother wasn’t even dead. He was just gone. On vacation. Living life. He was coming back. That’s what you told yourself, anyway. You sound like John B when your dad first disappeared. The police called you crazy. Your friends felt sorry for you. But you didn’t care. You weren’t going to give up hope.
Your boyfriend, JJ, tried his best to be supportive, but he was drowning in his own sorrow and grief. He lost his best friend too and truly believed he was never coming back. It was hard for him to get out of bed in the mornings. He was fired from his hotel job, and the couple of people who still let him mow his lawn barely talked to him. The beatings from his dad were worse than ever. Luke almost killed him when he heard it was The Phantom that had sunk. The only reason JJ is still breathing is because the police showed up after one of their neighbors called in for a noise complaint. Since the Chateau was no longer a safe escape - always being investigated by the police - he was stuck in his own home. Luckily, his dad was gone most days, which allowed you to sneak in every once in a while.
You brought him food and water whenever you could, always checking for Luke’s pick up truck before sneaking in through the window. Although you hated how depressed JJ was, it gave you something to focus on. Helping JJ with his every day tasks helped distract you from thinking about your own feelings about John B’s loss. 
Even though it was hard to tell, JJ worried about you. You were running from his house, to Kie’s, to Pope’s, finding anyone and anything to avoid your own feelings about your brother. He was afraid that one of these days you were gonna break. And he was terrified because he didn’t know what would trigger that reaction. 
~ ~ ~
“Oh, good. You’re up,” You crawled through JJ’s window and watched him sip on a PBR can as he looked for a shirt that didn’t smell completely awful. You forced a smile when JJ barely glanced at you and set the coffees and two granola bars on his night stand. “I know it’s not a lot, but it’s all I could afford right now.”
Kie’s father basically fired you from the Wreck, telling you nicely that you were scaring people away. At the end of the day, everyone on the island thought you helped a murderer escape. A murderer you were related to. So you’ve been working for Heyward behind the the counter, making less than minimum wage. 
“Okay...” you drawled out. “Well, I have to get going. Heyward needs me their early, but maybe we can go somewhere tonight? Smoke on the beach or something? Just the two of us.”
JJ looked at you sadly, wanting to say something. But he thought maybe tonight would be better. You were in a good mood - a facade he knew you put on every day to avoid talking about your family. He hated seeing you cry, but he thought if he broke down your walls now, it would help you heal faster. Even if you thought you didn’t need to heal.
But instead, he just nodded and let you leave without saying “goodbye” or “I love you.” A phrase he hasn’t mentioned since John B disappeared. 
You kissed him on the cheek and walked yourself out the front door, ignoring the crack in your heart when JJ turned away from you.
~ ~ ~
A couple hours later, JJ was waking up from another nap when Pope blew up his phone with missed calls and text messages. At first, he immediately thought of the worse possible case scenario. Something happened to you or maybe even Kie. He even let his mind wander to the possibility that they found John B’s body. But instead, what he read, only left him completely confused. 
He rushed over to Heyward’s, hoping to beat you there. 
~ ~ ~
Mr. Heyward didn’t know what to expect when his former friend showed up at his door. He was mixed with all different emotions. Relieved, confused, scared. Behind her was a man about his age. Tall, fair skinned, hair slicked back, and dressed in slacks and a button down shirt. 
“Caroline....what are you doing here?”
“I hear my daughter is living with you now. I was hoping I’d be able to see her,” Your mother admitted, feeling sheepish and a little embarrassed. “May I come in?” Heyward told himself he should slam the door in her face and tell her to go back to wherever the hell she came from. She used to be his friend, then out of nowhere, she up and left her entire family behind, without another word to them or any of her friends. He was hurt and betrayed, and he knew if he was feeling this way, he could only imagine how you would feel. 
But although Heyward loved you like his own, he felt wrong hiding your mother from you. It wasn’t his decision to make whether or not you got to confront her. 
He opened the door wider for her and her husband, he assumed, to enter. Heyward ignored their judgmental gazes as they inspected his home and called out for his wife. 
Mrs. Heyward stopped in her tracks when she caught a glimpse of the blonde hair she remembered so clearly. You were a spitting image of your mother. Long blonde hair, a button nose, and perfectly straight teeth. The one thing you didn’t get from her though was her selfish personality. 
“What the hell are you doing here?” She seethed. Mrs. Heyward loved you like a daughter and felt protective when someone who hurt you so badly in the past came back. 
“Honey...” Mr. Heyward placed a light hand on her shoulder to comfort her and then motioned for the two seats at their kitchen table for your mother and her husband to take.
“Y/N’s not here,” Mrs. Heyward glared. 
“Anne, I know you don’t think I have any right to be here -”
“Right?” 
“But she’s my daughter!” Your mother protested with tears in her eyes. 
Your mother grew up on the Cut too, and just like you, she was able to charm her way into anything. A job, a relationship, a better test grade. There was a time when Caroline, John, Anne and Heyward would cause mischief in Kildare County. But unlike the rest of the group, she was always interested in getting out of the Outer Banks and starting a life somewhere else. She knew she was settling when she married John Routledge so the second a better opuurtunity came around, she didn’t hesitate to take it. Even if it mean’t leaving her family behind. 
“Mom...” Pope walked out from the hallway and looked between Caroline and the man next to her who had his hand on her thigh. He never met Y/N and John B’s mother. Never even seen a picture of her. But looking at her, it was clear to him that this was their mother. You looked just like her, he thought. 
“Pope, this is Caroline...” Heyward hesitated and looked at the woman for clarification. 
“Bennett.” She confirmed and placed her hand on top of her husband’s, interlacing their fingers. “I’m Y/N’s mom.”
Pope noticed how she didn’t even mention John B. He wondered how cold a woman had to be to not even mention her dead son’s name. 
“Go to your room, Pope,” His mother said softly. 
Pope nodded and glanced one last time at Caroline and the man next to her before pulling his phone out of his back pocket and texting JJ. He knew Y/N wasn’t going to take well to the news that her mother was in town. All her life, he heard Y/N saying nothing but horrible things about the woman. You hated her. 
He waited in his room until he heard the familiar revving of JJ’s bike outside his house. Pope ran to the front door before his father could push JJ away. JJ stormed into the house and stopped when he was face to face with the woman he’s grown to hate too. Just like you had with his mother. 
“JJ -” Heyward stood up and approached the boy, but JJ flinched out of his grasp.
“You shouldn't be here,” JJ pointed at her. 
“I- I’m sorry. Who -”
“This is JJ. Pope’s friend -” Anne tried explaining.
“And Y/N’s boyfriend, and I’m telling you right now, she won’t want to see you.”
Caroline nodded as if she understood where JJ was coming from. But Caroline was use to getting what she wanted. Now more than ever. And she wasn’t leaving OBX without seeing her daughter. Maybe even convincing her to come home with them.
“JJ -” Heyward tried to say again, but the room grew silent when the front door creaked open again, which only meant that you were home.
“Hey! Who’s car is out front? I’ve never seen...” You slowly came to a halt when you were met with Heyward, Anne, Pope, and JJ all staring at you with pity and concern. You laughed nervously. “What -” But then you saw her. The woman and her husband at the kitchen table as if they were here for a glass of wine and friendly conversation. 
You recognized her mom immediately from old photographs your dad refused to throw away throughout the entirety of his life. You use to think she was beautiful. Sometimes, you were even jealous of how she was able to look amazing in every picture. Extremely photogenic. 
You never thought about what you would do if you ever saw her again. You never thought the day would come where you would be face to face with the person you grew up hating more than the entire population of Kooks. But you stared into the same pale blue eyes you saw every time you looked in the mirror and your skin burned with rage. 
“What the hell is this?” You looked at Heyward for some answers, ignoring her presence overall. 
Heyward coughed awkwardly. “Caroline was hoping to speak with you.”
“About what?” Heyward glanced back at Caroline. He truly didn’t know why she was here. They hadn’t gotten there yet. 
JJ stepped in front of you and pulled you in close so his mouth was next to your ear. “We can leave.” 
“No,” You shook your head and stepped away from him to get a good look at your mother. “No. I want to know what you’re doing here. What makes you think I want to talk to you?”
“Sweetie, I know you have every right to hate me. But I come here in peace -” Your mother tried explaining, but you cut her off.
“Peace?” You scoffed. “Where the hell have you even been?” “Georgia,” She said. Your mouth dropped open in shock. She was only a couple states below you. “This is Byron, my husband.” You clenched your teeth together and held your stare on the two of them. You didn’t know who you hated more. Your mother or the man who took her away from you. Your mother sighed and looked down at her intertwined fingers with her husband. “I heard about your brother on the News.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” You rolled your eyes. She sounded more like a sympathetic neighbor than a mourning mother. She talked about John B as if he wasn’t her blood too.
“I came here as soon as I could -”
“That was a month ago!” You raised your voice.
“I know,” Your mother choked, starting to get flustered. “I got caught up with work and -” It’s been a while since someone put her in her place. 
“Work? You knew about John B and you cared more about your work? What the hell do you even do, Martha Stewart?”
“Y/N...” Anne said softly, pulling you out of your dark head and reminding you to take a breath. Anne didn’t like her either, but all this yelling wouldn’t get either of you anywhere. 
“Fine,” You took the seat across the table from Caroline and leaned back on it with your arms crossed in front of your chest. “Your here now. So tell me what for. We’re not having a funeral for John B. Not until I see a body.”
Caroline looked at her husband for some sort of encouragement. Although he was unsure now more than ever, Byron subtly nodded his head for his wife to tell her daughter the reason they came up here. “Byron and I...we want you to come home.”
“Home?” You cocked a brow.
“With us,” Byron added. 
You couldn’t help but chuckle - really belly laugh at what you were hearing. You couldn’t believe the ridiculous suggestion she made. You were astounded that she even thought you would agree. 
“We’ve seen the News and read the papers. I mean the stuff you kids have been through -”
“That’s enough,” You stood up.
“We have a beautiful home. You’d have your own room, a pool in the backyard. We even have two other daughters! Ten and seven. They’re excited to meet you.”
You tried your best to ignore her as you grabbed JJ’s arm to pull him out with you. But everything she said was like a ringing in your ears you couldn’t escape. Little did Caroline know, each luxury she threw at you felt like a stab in the back. 
“I’m outta here -”
“Y/N Y/M/N Routledge! I am your mother!” Caroline stood up, her chair screeching against the hardwood. She slapped her palm against the wooden table and narrowed her eyes at her daughter. In her own head, she couldn’t believe how ungrateful you were. She was offering you a new and better life - one that wouldn’t make you dress like your entire wardrobe was from the thrift store, or sleep on your friend’s couch, or be looked at every day as a criminal. She was offering you a new beginning with the only blood relative you had left and you were gonna turn your back on her?
You swiveled on your heels so fast that your head started spinning. Your vision clouded with the color red and your fists clenched against your side. You glared at the woman who gave birth to you - hating how she acted as if she knew what was best for you when she didn’t even know you at all. 
“I don’t have a mother!” You screamed. “She turned her back on us when we were three! I don’t even know you. The only reason I recognized you is because my dad kept pictures of you in frames in his office.” Tears pricked at your eyes and you shook your head. “And I felt sorry for him that he still held onto memories of the woman who seemed so useless.”
Your voice cracked and you hated that you sounded so weak. You wondered what John B would say if he was standing next to you right now. He’d probably be more calm. He’d probably listen to what your mother had to offer and then kindly tell her that the two of you were better off without her. John B use to always keep you grounded. He calmed you down when you were on a rampage or feeling panicked. He taught you reason and discipline. Without him, you had none of that.
“You left,” You continued. “You turned your back on us when we were three. And Dad? He had no idea what he was doing. The man could barely hold a job let alone two kids. But unlike you, he did it. Hell, he even bought me my first box of tampons! He held me through my first heartbreak and taught me how to surf. And just like that,” You snapped your fingers, “he was gone. And you, my so-called mother, still didn’t show up. So John B and I...we became our own parent. We paid the bills, worked our asses off to pay the rent, and passed our classes. I learned to fend for myself because you weren’t there! You didn’t do shit for our family.” You pointed to yourself. “I did. I took care of us.”
“That’s not fair...” Your mother’s voice shook. She couldn’t even look at you as she became so overwhelmed with shame and guilt. 
“Not fair?” You bent down so you were eye level with her and looked at her like she had just grown two heads. “You just listed off all the amazing luxuries you have while I was left with absolutely nothing and you want to talk about what is fair?”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Bryon stepped in and stood up from his seat, placing a hand on your mother’s shoulder to try to comfort her.
“No, I’m just getting started,” You glared at him. “And I don’t know who the fuck you think you are, but this is between me and her. And I know she grew up on the Cut and is more than capable of fighting her own battles.” You averted your attention back to your mother. “You don’t get to waltz into my life over ten years later and pretend like nothing’s happened. My dad’s dead and my brother probably is too! I have no one left, but the family right here.” You point to the people behind you. Mr and Mrs Heyward, Pope, and JJ. “And I’ll choose these people over you every single time. So no. You’re not my mother.” You looked her up and down. “You’re nothing to me.”
You spun around on your heels and grabbed your back pack on the way out. 
“Y/N...” Mrs. Heyward tried calling out to you, but no one really tried to stop you. They knew you needed to get out from under the same roof as your mother, the woman behind all your anger. 
“I got her...” JJ told the Heyward family quietly. He glanced at Pope, who nodded once at him, before walking out of the house to find you. Only you were already gone and your bike was missing. 
Your feet moved faster than your head. You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew you had to get as far away from that woman as possible. Your tears made your vision all blurry and your brain pounded against your skull. Your throat felt like sandpaper with every heavy breath you took. 
You practically fell off your bike in front of the one place you had been avoiding for weeks. It looked just like how you had left it, only now it was wrapped in yellow caution tape. Shockingly, no one was here. No police, FBI, or any other government official. It was just you and your thoughts. 
You pulled the squeaky porch door open and were immediately flooded with memories. Empty beer cans and the butt of old cigarettes and blunts littered the floor like you were all lounging here yesterday. Guess CSI doesn’t hire a clean up crew when they are done. 
You took another step into your house. Your brother’s room was to your right, his door open, enticing you to go in. But you couldn’t. Your heart twisted in your chest at the thought of John B. He should have been here. He should have never left! How could he? He was your brother. Your older brother, even if it was only by a few minutes. He was supposed to protect you. He was supposed to scare off all the boys who showed interest in you, yell at you when you’re bathing suit showed too much skin, take care of you when you were sick, help you with your homework, be the cool uncle to your kids one day. And he was gone. Everyone was gone!
You didn’t remember how it happened, but you were in your dad’s office. This place use to be a mystery to you - a room where your Dad hid most of the time and locked when he wasn’t home. You always wondered what was so special about this room. Now you knew it was nothing. It was a curse. This room was the reason your dad and brother were gone. 
A screech ripped from your throat as your swept your arms across your father’s desk. Everything on top, papers, paper weights, pens, folders, all clattered to the floor. With all your strength, you flipped the desk over on its side. The wooden floor rumbled under your feet when it fell with a bang. 
Your breath hitched in your throat and you felt like you couldn't breathe. You stepped back until your back hit the wall. Your fingers raked through the hair near your scalp and you pulled on the roots. You body slid down the wall until you were on the ground. You cried into your knees, weeping for your brother and dad. You have never felt pain like this before. You were physically healthy but it felt like someone took a vacuum into your body and was sucking the life out of you. 
You didn’t even hear anyone else come into the house over your loud sobs. It wasn’t until you felt arms wrap around you that you looked up. JJ pulled you into his chest, curling you so that your body fit perfectly against his. He whispered against your head and kissed it after every sentence. He told you it was going to be okay. 
“He can’t be gone,” You cried into JJ’s shoulder. “It’s not fair!”
“I know,” JJ mumbled against your hair and pulled you in tighter. “I know. I’m sorry.” He felt like the worst boyfriend ever. He knew this day would come and he took advantage of you avoiding your own grief by drowning in his own. He should have been taking care of you, making you open up about your brother so that it didn’t all hit you at once like it did now. 
“I have no one.”
“No,” JJ shook his head. “That’s not true. You have me. Pope and Kie, we’re all going to be here for you. And screw your mom. You don’t need her anyway.”
For a split second, you forgot about your mom and how she wanted to take you back to Georgia. But you knew she wasn’t your real family. Not anymore. You were right when you said you had all the family you needed. The Heywards, Pope, Kie, JJ. You weren’t alone. You still had them.
“I’m sorry,” JJ said again. “I should have - I should have done something. I should have been there for you -”
“It’s okay,” You placed your hand delicately under his jaw to make him look at you. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”
“I love you.” Your heart swelled, forgetting the way those three words made you feel. Safe, loved, comforted. “And if John B’s out there, he’s going to come back.” JJ remembered the promise John B made him swear by before he left with the Phantom. How he made JJ promise to protect you no matter what. Even if you were to go through a nasty break up. He was supposed to be there for you. “There’s still hope.”
“Hope,” You repeated, tasting the word on your tongue. You still had hope.
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lansyuan · 4 years ago
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do you love fics where wei wuxian and lan wangji parent the crap out of lan sizhui? do you want to read accidental baby acquisition fics until your eyes bleed? would you die as your heart slowly turns to mush from the softness of this family? bitch the fuck, me too. here are some of my personal favourite fics of wangxian ft their turnip son a-yuan. its a range of canon divergence, post canon, thirteen years of inquiry, raising a-yuan at the burial mounds au etc - there’ll be something for literally everyone. enjoy!
the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser (38k+)
When A-Yuan gets sick and Wen Qing doesn't have the supplies she needs to properly treat him, Wei Wuxian can only think of one place to go for help. 
a crying shame by thunderwear (16k+)
Lan Wangji gets emotionally blackmailed by a toddler. It somehow fixes everything.
to recollect and long for by wonderlands (22k+) *2/3 works posted at time of posting this rec list.
a 3-part series about best boy lan sizhui and his wonderful dads who love him and each other very much.
forgetting envies, remembering your loving hold by cosmicfuss (3k+)
The first time Zewu-jun plays for him he is five and the man is trying to comfort him, playing soft songs good for soothing children. It works to a degree but he wants his gege, he wants his gege to play his lullaby. Zewu-jun apologizes and tells him that his gege is hurting right now, and needs to be alone to get better.
When he plays the xiao, A-Yuan says, "you're holding it wrong!" When he turns fourteen, he learns to play guqin, and is many years ahead of his classmates in that regard. A large factor in that is how much he has practiced Inquiry. He has grown up hearing snippets from the jingshi, of Wangji attempting to reach a spirit that never answers.
When he's sixteen, he hears a familiar tune played in the forest, he and his fellow juniors battling a stone god. It's been years since he's heard it, and he wonders why this man, Mo Xuanyu, knows it so well.
Or, Lan Sizhui grows up and learns, and remembers.
five times wei wuxian tried to embarrass lan sizhui by blackelement7 (6k+)
(and one time he realized just how badly he'd played himself)
or: In which Wei Wuxian starts a fight but Lan Sizhui (with some meddling from Lan Jingyi) ends it.
inquiry by incendir (10k+)
Sizhui cannot fall asleep for a long, long time that night. He hears the ever-familiar melody again. He thinks perhaps he has memorized it by now.
storge by respira (9k+)
Lan Sizhui is a lake.
as the warren grows in number by kore_fics (3k+)
Before Sizhui could take another step he was surrounded by black and red, loud laughter in his ears and warm fingers running through his hair, messing it up. Palms squished both his cheeks together and Lan Sizhui let out a laugh.
Lan Sizhui was home.
tell some storm* by qurbat (31k+) *the moments with Sizhui are in chapter 2, however I highly recommend reading the whole fic, it’s adorable.
"We were raised as a generation of war, A-Yuan," Xian-gege said to him. "If your generation choses to be one of love - well, I don't think any of us would be opposed to that."
In the aftermath of the events at the Guanyin temple, the cultivation world scrambles to understand their current reality. A man roams the countryside with a string of white in his hair. Another sits on the highest seat of power with a ribbon of red around his forehead. The younger generation turns out to be full of romantics. Nie Huaisang is to blame for everything, always. Jiang Cheng realizes that happiness has been more that 16 years overdue.
Wei Wuxian declares that it's time that bitch pays up.
After a generation of war - much to the consternation of the elders, much to the delight of the young, much to the pleased shock of the subjects of the tale - the world welcomes a love story with open arms.
guess we're not eating leaves today by missingnarwhal (2k+)
Baby A-Yuan has cooked up a feast, but only one lucky gege will actually get to taste it!
Set in an alternate timeline where everything is okay after Wei Ying + Wens started living in the Burial Mounds.
response by aki_no_hikari (12k+)
What if Wei Wuxian hadn't been silent to Lan Wangji's Inquiry?
love, in all its small pieces by ynvel (4k+)
Ah Yuan is brought to the Cloud Recesses and exchanges the sun and its ashes for the clouds. Lan Wangji brings a boy home, calls him his son, and renews the promises he made.
Or: Lan Sizhui is adopted by Lan Wangji and learns about his new life. Lan Wangji in turn learns about hope and living again.
child surprise by ariaste (4k+)
He huffs a sigh. “Fine. Just - let’s just make it the law of surprise, shall we? That’s nice and simple, eh? Leave it up to destiny what will bring us back in balance. Let it drop something of yours into my lap, something small, and we’ll call the debt paid.”
Three debts, three repayments.
there's a lunatic in mo village by bastetcg (11k+)
There's a lunatic in Mo Village! And to Lan Sizhui's surprise, Hanguang-Jun has decided to bring the madman back to the Cloud Recesses! How embarrassing!
A mostly canon-compliant look into Lan Sizhui's thoughts and childhood.
on being a big boy by emberloey (1k+)
“My little A-Yuan,” Dad had said the next morning, kneeling down to A-Yuan’s height with a smile, “all grown up now. Soon you’ll be hunting without your poor old dads.”
“Never!” A-Yuan shook his head and latched onto Father’s leg. He smiled up at Father, who smiled back and nodded his head. “A-Yuan always needs Dad and Father!”
in all these shades of blue (i think we found you) by fleetling (5k+)
5 times Sizhui thought about his father's white robes, and 1 time Lan Wangji wore blue.
(Or: Lan Sizhui had never seen his father in anything other than white robes.)
this is when the feeling sinks in, i don't want to miss you like this (come back, be here) by mischievousmurmurs (6k+)
Just now… the butterflies’ conversation. Where did you learn that from, Ah-Yuan?
Ah-Yuan pats his chest. In here, shushu. I feel it in here. And in here, too, he adds, pointing to his head.
Sizhui has never quite been able to remember nor forget the memory of seeing people who he knows loved each other, loved him, and whom he loved in return.
or - a wangxian story, as told by their adopted son.
yours, mine, and ours by casecous (2k+)
When they have both mostly recovered, and A-Yuan is back to his smiling, playful self, Lan Wangji presents him with a forehead ribbon. A-Yuan’s little fingers bump into Lan Wangji’s thumbs as he traces the cloud motif along it.
“You are Lan now. This is very important,” Lan Wangji tells him and A-Yuan looks away from the ribbon to meet his eyes. “You must not take it off as you please. Only family may touch it.”
A series of wangxian family moments.
innocence by snowberryrose (8k+)
In which Wei WuXian gets to raise A-Yuan.
Canon divergence from episode 31.
to recollect and long for by mme_anxious (4k+)
Lan Xichen is there when his brother becomes a father. Lan Sizhui is there when his father's heart breaks, again. Wei Wuxian is there when his son gets drunk for the first time.
Or, the GusuLan forehead ribbon, in three parts.
our little one by writedeku (6k+)
A-Yuan is here. A-Yuan, who Wei Ying loved so much. A-Yuan, who was taught to laugh just like him. Wangji hugs him to his chest and curls over him, ignoring the way the wounds on his back pull and tear. “I have to take care of you,” he says. “I will not leave you.”
(Or: Lan Wangji comes back from Yiling with a child he does not know how to care for and a black hole in his chest. Somehow, he makes it work.)
gathered herbs & sweet grasses by hansbekhart (19k+)
Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.
the sacred homeland by particulate (8k+)
He has many names, and some are mouthfuls of blood.
[Or; a chronology of Sizhui, in which he does not forget.]
to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (19k+)
His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.
Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.
when he comes home to you by kika988 (2k+)
Home is Cloud Recesses now, and that's a thing Wei Wuxian is still getting used to. He still feels like a guest here, most days, though Lan Wangji has done everything to make him feel at home. He stands out like a sore thumb amongst the serene disciples and flowing white fabric.
Cloud Recesses has been home to Lan Wangji and Sizhui for years. It is their home, where they've built their family.
The thought warms Wei Wuxian even as it sits a little ill with him. He's an intruder here, in their homes, in their lives, the same way he had been in Lotus Pier.
five times people didn’t know sizhui is lan zhan’s son and one time they did by trilliastra (3k+)
“A-Yuan.” He repeats, reaching out for the boy, growing restless when he can’t touch him. “A-Yuan.”
Oh. Lan Xichen closes his eyes as the tears start to fall. Oh, Wangji.
Carefully, Lan Xichen takes the boy and lays him next to his brother on the bed, Wangji holds him protectively against his chest and A-Yuan stops his little cries immediately.
“Wangji,” Lan Xichen tries again, running a hand through his brother’s hair softly, “who is he?”
“He’s my son.”
5 times the lan head disciple broke the rules by liji (6k+)
“I am not aware of any rule forbidding falling in love,” Hanguang-Jun said at last. There was a quiet sadness in his eye, like he was watching a scene from far away. The novelty of it gave Sizhui the courage to ask his next question.
“Have you ever been in love, Father?” he asked.
(or, five times that Sizhui broke the Lan sect's rules growing up)
the seasons change (but i love you the same) by kdkdkd (7k+)
"Hanguang-jun!"
When did you stop calling me Bàba, A-Yuan?
Lan Wangji had always promised himself that he would never become a poor father like his own had been.
Unfortunately, it feels like he has failed to keep that promise.
✨ bonus round ✨ uncle jiang cheng and nephew lan sizhui
tintinnabulum by respira (8k+)
A small bell chimes, the sound soft and pleasant like the water crashing against a pier, like low whistles in an empty cave, like a guqin playing a lullaby.
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