#Somebody New

[apleasantharmony]

Song of the Day

[1000-year-old-virgin]

Blusher - Somebody New

[ruminate88]

What I’ve learned from past relationships and myself so far:

I just watched a video about “good men” and “independent women”. Not going to lie, this video brought up emotions in me and here is why….

I grew up in a traditional household. Mom and dad both worked but mom had summers off. Mom was the home maker and dad was sole provider. Mom spoiled my dad. I watched her wait on my dad and do soooo many things for him. I truly misinterpreted their relationship. Not to mention, I watched a lot of various sitcoms with my mom such as “Andy Griffith” and “I love Lucy”. These old black and white shows that while they made me laugh, I saw this repeated message of “Women take care of the men and are submissive to men.”

I found porn at 15 and also got this toxic message of some men dominating women. I took it as “that’s life” and applied it to my idea of love. However, plenty of women in my actual life worked and provided along with their spouses. Strong women who also had strong opinions of their own outside of a man. All the women in my life voted and stood up for themselves BUT I was too young to see it or get it. I watched both my parents serve in our church and be soooooo beyond incredibly nice to people. I too became the family care taker at 15 and was putting people’s needs before my own. Abandoning myself.

I had a wound from school where teachers made me feel stupid and kids made fun of me and my best friend Lori. I always felt weird and that I was not wanted nor did I fit in. I KNEW how it felt to be unwanted or an outcast. I never wanted anyone else to feel that way but I always had a fear of “rejection” and it hurt every time someone new rejected me,“laughed at me” OR “pushed me away.” Although I was use to people leaving me, it slowly was getting to me and making me more desperate and clingy to any man who showed me attention. 🤡🤡🤡

Whenever I met Jake, he mirrored me at first and made it seem like he believed exactly how I did about love and relationships but he was sooooo controlling and dominating to the point I was not allowed to have a say at all and it shook me!!! I was afraid and intimidated by him. I knew something was off. I don’t mind to be old fashioned and take care of my man but I can still have some opinions and make some of my own choices… Eventually I tried to get away from Jake and the punishment started!!! I became stuck in this cycle and dated two more emotionally abusive men. VERY CRITICAL of me and manipulative…. I became even more sensitive and pliable. By my third relationship, with my ex Andrew, I’m at his feet worshiping and kissing his butt so hard he walks all over my feelings and doesn’t bat an eye 😭😭😭 Months and months of him being totally selfish and subtly disrespectful. Not always saying “noticeably mean things” but his undertones AND his actions making me feel constantly stupid and unloved.

At some point, someone on Twitter who wouldn’t reveal to me who they were, (I believe it was Jake but wasn’t for sure) This person started out tweeting me how they still had feelings for me but eventually it turned into “you’re too fragile” and “how dare you think of yourself as a woman from the 50s”. They called me a “racist”, a “bigot” and a “homophobic”… It hurt me as I didn’t know why I deserved continous criticism AND what’s so bad about being a woman who wants a man to lead her??????

I finally have enough of Andrew’s hurtful words and actions so I walk away but I don’t fully understand. I meet my new man and he’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met. He accepts me but overtime, he gets to enjoy my outlook on the “relationship dynamics”. I wait on him, cook and clean but feel somewhat dependable on him and began to hate it. My mom says to me “don’t you dare make your husband think you’re solely dependent on his paychecks.” wow… what about my WHOLE childhood?? I realize as my mom talks stern with me that I had sorta misinterpreted the relationship dynamics growing up. Yes, my mom did a lot for my dad and yes he was the sole provider with the money but my mom is no push over and neither is my dad. They’re not perfect with each other but try to respect each other and BOTH share opinions even when they disagree.

NOW I’m finally seeing love and life through different eyes. I can still be a loving wife who takes care of my husband and our household BUT whenever a situation seems unfair, I’m more apt to speak up now yet I try to remain nice becuase I stil carry the belief “You treat people how you want them to treat you.” No, you can’t be responsible for other’s actions or words, you can only control your own but still stand up for yourself.

I didn’t use to understand standing up for myself always, I just took all the criticism from men thinking they were right about me and I was “pathetic” and I was so suicidal thinking why wasn’t I good enough… I was too depending on those men and not learning how to be on my own. I’m slowly changing my mind and points of view but I STILL want to be a loving and caring person. Plus I want to be a good wife 🙏🏻

ONE DAY AT A TIME ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[fixatteddesire]

[companionwolf]

* puts on sad machine by porter robinson and starts sobbing my little dissociative disorder having eyes out *

[musiconspotify]

Eliza Thorn - Somebody New (2024) … debut …

[basic-human-frequency]

those guys were right. there IS something in the water

[goodgarbs]

Music| BLUSHER Offers New Dance Ready Record "Somebody New"

Emerging pop trio Blusher is back with their latest release, “Somebody New”, a pulsating track that rounds out an exciting year of single releases for the band as part of Spotify’s RADAR program. With shimmering synths, infectious beats, and a euphoric chorus, the single captures the energy of embracing change and stepping into the unknown. “Somebody New” is not just a song; it’s an anthem for…

[cyborgrhodey]

THE BANANAS ARE GAY

THESE BANANAS

THE BANANAS IN PAJAMAS ARE GAY

BELATED HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE

[demigods-posts]

currently obsessed with the idea of everyone viewing percy as a forced to never be messed with. for the sea is unpredictable and does not like to be restrained and all that jazz. except, frank and hazel. who only see him as just a little guy. a soldier left to his own devices out on the streets with nothing to comfort him but a panda pillow pet and a lingering memory of a girl he loves. he's just a little guy you guys.

[apleasantharmony]

Song of the Day

[raviyoli-webp]

WHO'S FUCKING INKLING IS THIS LMAOOO IN HEELS??? OKAY CAPTAIN

[tomwambsgays]

"harry, i'll spare you another *20 hour mind-project*"

[ruubesz-draws]

NNNOOOOOOOO LET HIM GOOOO!!!! (I used Final Wars Goji cos he's cool)

(Original painting by William Strutt)