#So sorry Ray 🙏 please forgive me

[fuckwhoeverpickedallthefunnyurls]

teehee

I?? Never did this?? RAY I‘M SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME

My feelings about you have changed a bit since October, now I don‘t freak out anymore when you interact with me because you‘re so much cooler than me but I still get the jeebies when you message me privately

Also free space is "I need you to stop changing you entire blog theme every week"

Picture of a cat as compensation for my horribly late reply:

[presidentlokis-hornyhelmet]

idk if your requests are open but your laufey pavitr fic literally made me shed tears -- can i please request a pavitr fic based off of "My Love Mine All Mine" by Mitski? thank u ❤

My Love, All Mine

🕷MASTERLIST💔

Pairing: Pavitr Prabhakar x reader

Tags: One-Sided Attraction, Grief/Mourning, Unrequited Love

Summary: How many times can a heart be broken? As long as it trusts, or as long as it loves?

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay pls forgive me y'all 🙏 ;_;

Also read on AO3

The bustling city around you is lost to the souls who enjoy it. The morning is cold, the breeze chilling your bones but you don't care. You let the bright rays hit your skin, the tears falling down your cheek as you watch the graveyard in grim silence.

Nothing cuts deep like a love untold. And each time, somehow, it hurts more. 

The wind blows brown leaves away, twisting and turning as they land on the dull tombstone. You brush off the dust with your hand, sitting down, unable to stop the tears flowing. The dent of engraved letters feel rough and icy against your fingertips. It feels wrong.

He shouldn't be here!

It wasn't supposed to happen, not to him!

One year ago today, he.. he died. And took with him your very life.

You want to cry so hard, you want to scream and shout but you're worn out. Throat gone sore, eyes tired and dried up but the sorrow never left. Heavy bags have formed under your eyes tainting any happiness left.

To the world he may be Spider-Man: a hero demised, to his family he may be Pavitr Prabhakar -a son lost- but to you, he was a friend, a savior and much, much more.

You loved him more than words could say, more than feelings could express; you loved him with all your heart, alone.

After his death, you used to come here with Gayatri, Pav's girlfriend, and grieve together. But as months passed she had moved out of town for the sake of her mental health, wanting to move on. Perhaps she got her closure; maybe you didn't, and that's why you could never forget. Or maybe, because this was all you ever had and you wouldn't let go.

Even if it was gone.

My baby here on earth Showed me what my heart was worth

The little touches that meant nothing to him, the inside jokes, the longing eye contacts that always meant something more to you.. the ghosts of memories past haunts in shattered pieces. How many times can a heart be broken? As long as it trusts, or as long as it loves?

So, when it comes to be my turn Could you shine it down here for him?

He was the first one to like you for being Yourself. Pavitr brought a new perspective to your life. He showed you love when no one would, he gave you a hand when no one else did, he let you know you were valid, he showed what you were worth, he pulled you up from the dumps.

Pavitr gave hope to a withered, trampled rose; he made you come alive.

Except he had Gayatri to reciprocate it. You had to reserve yourself to just enjoying the unfortunate fate of being his friend, swallowing your feelings, however intense they were. What he doesn't know, won't hurt him -even if it hurt you.

You used to sit there, third-wheeling them and just being a spectator of everything you've ever wanted: Him. So near yet so, so far away.

Why you hurt yourself that way and still got addicted to it, you never knew. Maybe you loved the pain, maybe it was the kind of  drug that keeps you alive. It had you going, looking forward to enjoying the littlest things in life, the most insubstantial interactions and most trivial of feelings. It made life brighter in general, it gave a weird rush in your veins. The possibility of it growing into something more toying cruelly with your gullible heart.

The pain, it was indescribable; like a crown of thorns squeezing your bleeding heart to the last drop. It hurt, and it felt so good.

But this was a different kind of pain. It's permanent and it's... forever. This wasn't the drug type of pain, this just came in and ripped the life from your hands, leaving you soulless; empty.

This is kind of pain that tears you apart limb from limb; a pain that leaves you broken forever.

The moonlight shines bright upon the edge of the cliff, illuminating the red and blue colored mask in your hand. you run your fingers over it again and again, feeling the material. The eye-lens are so wide and bright, expressive just like him. You let the stray tear slip down, tasting the salt on your lips.

The moon is full, but you feel empty.

He's here, he's here with me. He's gone nowhere. He's here, he's here!

You won't move on; you can't move on. You're stuck and you can't help it. You embrace yourself around the knees and shudder, crying.

Moon, tell me if I could Send up my heart to you?

You lean back and lie down on the grass, never taking your eyes off the moon, the beauty radiant. Perhaps one day you would go there too? Become a star in the sky and shine down on people like you, yearning for the tiniest bit of love. Is love that expensive?

Perhaps that had been too much to ask. Or maybe some simply must not ask.

Clutching his torn mask to your chest, your eyes droop as you slowly drift off to sleep, the radiant face and shining hair of Pavitr Prabhakar bleeding into your thoughts. He's here, he's here.

So, when I die, which I must do Could it shine down here with you

There is a price we all must pay and yours cost yourself. But you're not left with nothing.

Your love you own; only your love, all yours. And thus it remains forever.

'Cause my love is mine, all mine I love, my, my, mine Nothing in the world belongs to me But my love, mine, all mine, all mine 

_________

Hope you liked it! Thank you for reading ♡

A/N: I am working on all the others, thank you so much for requesting and waiting! (hopefully i'll post them soon too!🤞)