#So she can’t channel. But she can interact with ghosts she knew when they were alive

[memories-break-our-fall]

wait Eve fey thought….

[l0stfoster]

For Cursed Tulsa AU: aksjsjak there are soo many things I want to ask about but first I am SO intrigued by Dally in this AU. So like him seeing ghosts is from his mom and I'm assuming he couldn't see them before he got shot/was rescued so was him 'dying' kind of like the catalyst for him unlocking that power? Did his mom ever tell him about the ghosts and he just thought she was hallucinating or did she never even try to bring that up? Does he know that his powers are from his mom or did he just wake up and was like "I guess that just happens now"?

AND THE AFTERMATH OF HIM JUST. SEEING THEM NOW.

Do the ghosts ever try to interact with him? Can they even? Since he apparently saw the Curtis parents and his mom so like did they try to speak to him ever? Or was it more just ominous staring?

And speaking of which - I'm pretty sure Dally isn't telling anyone about what he's been seeing. Is it just because he doesn't know how to bring it up or does he even understand exactly what's going on? Will he ever tell them? Or is this a secret he's taking to his grave?

Sorry for rambling lmao (expect more of this in the future) but all of this is genuinely SO INTERESTING AHH

Absolutely keep rambling Lunar I love these

His near death experience and sort of ‘rebirth’ was the reason his ghost seeing stuff finally unlocked, yes— however, that’s more in a manner of he finally became aware of it.

He assumed she was just hallucinating, and she never told him about it, both in a selfish way and in an attempt to protect him. Her thought was that if he didn’t know, then he couldn’t possibly channel it— the only issue is that if he had been seeing the ghost since he was a boy, it would’ve driven him down the same path of psychosis and mental unease she had experienced. While his mother had been able to see it since she was young, Dally’s mind had sort of blocked out the whole thing as it was due to how she behaved in correspondence to what she could see. To an extend, he’s always been able to see ghosts, but in the same way he’d blocked the Curtis’ out, his mind blocked the ghosts. It was only after actually encountering Death that this subconscious barrier shattered.

It takes a few weeks of living with it and one really bad hangover after drinking to try and block it out before he knew how to for there to be that oh moment. His mom wasn’t fuckin’ insane, she was seeing ghosts— and he’s doing the same thing she was doing, drinking to ignore it.

The ghosts are aware that he can see them once he acknowledges or reacts to them, after all if he didn’t give them the light of day, it’d just seem like another human overlooking them due to not seeing spirits. They can’t physically interact in most cases, beyond toying with items and things of that sort. The few he does interact with he has sort of ‘befriended’,, but it’s mostly just ones tied to spots that he can walk by, ask if they’d seen anyone from the gang, get an answer, and keep going.

The Curtis parents didn’t really get a chance to try and speak to him, all they’d really manage was his name or something else of a similar nature before he’d panic and block them out. His mom didn’t speak when he saw her, she just watched. Stared at him with dead eyes as he stared back in horror.

Y’know, he never knew that she died.

Dally hasn’t told anyone yet, but I think if anyone were to find out willingly first it either be Johnny or Two. Johnny’s the boy of death, he’d have to know something about seeing all of this. Two’s his best friend, he knows he can trust him.

..I think the person who would find out despite Dally’s unwillingness is Paul. Witches are pretty spiritually tied, are they not? And he’s not stupid, he’s heard about spiritual medium related things; Dally sticks out like a sore thumb when you know what signs to look for. He just won’t bring it up, since it’s.. yknow. Dally

[mylifeisactuallyamess]

Damage Control

A/N: So the Star Wars fandom is pretty shaken up after the events of Wednesday. I couldn’t let this slide by without a mention. I’m sad that his cameo was overshadowed by my utter devastation. When I saw him I woke up from my stupor and I screamed, as soon as he opened his mouth I dissolved into tears because his voice holds so much comfort for me. I adore the Ghost crew and Zeb is a huge favourite of mine.

Warnings: None really. Big feelings. Platonic relationships, just some very self indulgent comfort that I felt I needed from our favourite Lasat.

Word Count: 2.3k+

“Go!” You screamed. Your fingers gripped onto his flight suit as you dragged him along. Mud suckered at your legs as you slipped through, your boots sliding and your entire body was screaming from the effort.

“Leave me!” His voice was right there in your helmet, his choked breath chased up with a hacking cough as blaster shots still rained all around.

“No.” You carried on. Your muscles were popping, your legs were trying to give out but sheer determination kept you upright.

“Commander, please…” your eyes closed. You knew really, this was futile. His injuries were too severe, if you could just get him on the ship you could say you tried. A shot whizzed past your shoulder but you didn’t even duck. Taking one slow step at a time. “I’m not gonna make it…” he became even heavier and you grunted. Refusing to let him go. If you held on, kept your fingers in the bright orange of his suit, you could keep him tethered here with you.

“Stay with me, Major. Major?” You could see your ship through the trees. The fighting was less centred around you, shouts echoed and explosions sounded but you kept going. “We’re going to go back to Yavin 4 and have a nice glass of spotchka. Or five,” you joked. Tears leaked from your eyes, splintering the light and you blinked, feeling them filter from your lashes to streak down your face. “And then we’re going to give everyone a funny recount of this mission because it covers the horror,” you whispered.

Your face screwed up and your steps faltered. You could feel it without even turning round. He was gone. His life, taken far too soon and desolation threatened to sweep out your legs. “I don’t want to leave you!” You moaned, tipping your head back as you fought the rising sorrow.

“Commander! Commander, where are you??” A voice sounded through your com and you scrabbled to answer it.

“Blue 4, I’m…”

“I can’t shake em! No one else is in the sky I—.” The transmission cut off and that’s when you noticed the silence. Only your own breath curled inside your helmet. The sound of your tired heartbeat in your chest and you realised everything was lost.

“Can anyone read me?” Static was the only response on any channel and that’s when you let him go. Falling to your knees in the mud, the body of your best friend laying unmoving behind you. You’d heard his last breath, you’d been his last interaction and it weighed deeply inside you, threatening to bring you down to those inky depths that everyone else had fallen into.

A soft beep sounded nearby and it took all your effort to look up. Your astromech was hiding in the flora, photoreceptor trained on you as she quivered under the leaves.

“CB-23.” She encouraged you on, a patrol was coming and you had to leave. You were the only one left.

How you made it back into your cockpit you’ll never know. Your entire body was caked in mud and numb, it seeped from that empty spot in your chest like a disease, twisting around you and tightening its grip with every parsec.

By the time you broke out above Yavin 4 you were raging. The numbness had been temporary, leading the way to something so white hot and painful you couldn’t control it.

As soon as your canopy opened you threw your helmet, hearing it clatter and split against the duracrete. You shoved the engineers out of your way, refusing to apologise, not acknowledging where you were going until you came upon your room.

A room you had shared with your best friend.

It looked exactly the same as it did days ago. His extra flight suit was hung up on the bunk, old boots lopsided on the floor. The room smelled familiar, a combination of his soap and your washing powder that reminded you of home.

The longer you looked, the more you saw of him and the hotter your anger became. The scream you birthed stripped pieces of you away, ripping mercilessly from your chest until all your muscles locked and you thought your heart was going to explode.

You were like a whirlwind, anything you could touch you destroyed. Tossing anything and everything, hearing smashes as items left your fingertips and it made the storm that festered inside you so much worse.

It wasn’t until a large hand grabbed your wrist and a thick arm curled around your waist to haul you off the ground, did you realise what you’d done.

Your sobs came from the cracks of pain that littered your body as you fractured under the weight of what had happened. Of what you’d lost.

“That’s it. Let it out.” His voice was like a cloud, attempting to come and wrap you in comfort but you fought. You didn’t deserve this, you should have tried harder, you should have saved everyone. It was your duty.

Zeb held you closer, his eyes closing as he felt the physical effort it took you to keep crying at this level. He knew what it was like, he’d been here more times than he could count and he hated seeing you tear yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault.

Your body was shaking, not even his large hands could calm the tremors as they racked fiercely through you. “I’m here,” he murmured in his deep voice.

“I—can’t—breathe!” You rasped, hands flailing to grip onto him. You were suffocating, the pressure gripped you round the throat, tightening, strangling. Zeb ripped off your life support jacket, opened the fastings of your flight suit, watching you with wide eyes as he tried to think of what to do next.

“Stay with me! Remember, in for four. Out for four.” The anguish in your face was torturous as you tried to breathe, each one ending in a painful cry that made your body curl into him as he held you to his chest.

The door opened behind him and Kallus strode in, his expression concerned as he met Zeb’s eyes over your broken form. He shook his blonde head and Zeb sighed heavily. “Karabast.” He hadn’t wanted to believe the report that had come in shortly before you arrived but every word of it was true.

Suddenly his hands weren’t big enough to hold you together and his ears drew back in distress as you struggled to cope in his arms. He’d never seen you so fractured. This wasn’t something he could pull you from the brink of, but nothing was going to stop him from trying.

Kallus sat heavily on the bottom bunk, hands in his hair as he listened to the agonised sobs that broke from you. He had no experience with this, this sense of loss and desolation. It made him feel detached but it confused him to see such a reaction from someone he admired, someone who did everything for the good of others.

He watched Zeb do his best, talking to you in a low voice as he attempted to calm you down with his deep rumbling voice and it started to work.

Soon you hiccuped in pure state of exhaustion, your head lolling into the crook of Zeb’s elbow and he breathed a quiet sigh of relief. Kallus put a hand on the Lasat’s back and stood up.

“I’ll get some spotchka.”

“Spotchka?” Zeb hissed. “She doesn’t need that.”

“Well if she doesn’t, I certainly do.” He left and Zeb transferred to your bunk.

He paused when your hands curled into his short fur, a soft whimper coming from your parted lips and eased himself beside you. A large hand raked over the loose strands of your hair.

“Everything will be ok. Maybe not soon,” he added quietly. “But it will.”

You awoke to a noise that sounded like a blown exhaust vent. It vibrated through your body, almost shaking the bunk whenever he breathed in and you smiled. Zeb’s arms were loose and you snuggled deeply into his side.

Everyone goes on about hugs from a Wookiee but only a rare few have experienced a cuddle from a Lasat. He had a distinct musk that you found comforting, no matter how much Ezra moaned and teased Zeb about it.

Gently you toyed with the hairs on his face, twirling them round so his nose twitched but you found no joy in the motion.

You ached. It hurt even more today.

The knowledge that you were never going to see him again hit you like a star destroyer coming out of hyperspace and you gasped. Pressing into Zeb you tried not to sob loudly but soon his snoring stopped and his arms came back around you.

He was strong although not strong enough to stop you shattering over and over again in his embrace. Pillowed in his hold, you found very little solace, wandering the deep fissure of your soul as it bled memories and happy moments that you knew you’d never experience again.

No more were you hearing his voice, even now details of what he looked like filtered through your fingers as you tried to hold onto them. He was fading too fast and that was your fault. It was all your fault.

“Will this end?” You whispered.

“No,” Zeb replied candidly. “We never forget.” He gently placed a curved finger under your chin, making you look up into his brilliant eyes as he searched your features.

“Zeb…” you had no more words. Everything failed you in that moment and you sagged against him.

“I know,” he murmured. His claw moved to press lightly into your chest, exactly where your pain exploded from as your heart beat through the shards of hurt. “But we have to let this go. This, that sits here like an agonising weight. Slowly, we have to shed it or it will consume us.”

“I feel like it’s already demolished me,” you admitted.

He sighed, nodding a little. “It’s not a nice place to be, but you have me to hold you up.”

“We can’t all be as ashbo as you, Zeb.”

“True. True,” he agreed with a slight smile. His face dropped slightly and he scowled, glancing at the door before he rolled his eyes. “Oh, great. Here comes Agent Drunko.”

Sure enough the door opened to reveal a very dishevelled Kallus, his long hair draped over half his face and his eyes had a wild quality about them; probably thanks to the bottle of spotchka that hung from his hand.

“You stink,” Zeb instantly said.

“As long as I don’t smell as bad as you!” Kallus spat and pointed with the hand that held the bottle as his other supported him against the doorframe.

“Heh,” Zeb smirked. “Watch me not bathe for a week.” You and Kallus groaned in unison. “Give you a real taste of how bad it can get!”

“How much have you had, Alexsandr?” He frowned, his eyes unfocused and he opened his mouth a couple of times before answering.

“I have had emough for you, you, you aaaand you.”

“Did you steal that bottle?” Kallus looked down like he forgot he was holding something.

“No. I left with it.” His hand slipped and he stumbled causing Zeb to get up with a curse.

“Karabast! Help me with him,” he growled and you scurried out of the covers.

“There you are!” Another voice boomed and Kallus’ eyes widened.

“He found me!”

“Oh no you don’t!” Captain Rex stormed in the doorway his eyes taking in the scene and his honeyed gaze softened slightly. “Ah.”

Zeb grabbed Kallus by the collar, holding him up as he looked at the clone. “What did this one do?” The Lasat gestured to the entirety of Kallus, a growl in his throat.

“He stole our bottle,” Rex said slowly, crossing his arms as Kallus looked sheepish in Zeb’s grip. “But I see why. Who made the mess?” Now it was your turn to feel guilty, turning round and observing the destruction you’d caused.

“Just a little damage control,” Zeb told him with a shrug. “Nothing we couldn’t handle.” Rex watched as you picked up the flight suit, turning the fabric over in your hands and bringing it to your nose.

Even his scent was fading, it had been less than a day. You really thought you had no more to spill, but the tears rolled hot and fat onto your cheeks, merging into the orange fabric that you helped up to muffle your cries.

“Come on Ad’ika.” Rex pulled you in, letting you settle against his broad chest as Zeb dealt with getting Kallus into a bunk and taking the bottle off him. “Easy,” Rex soothed, his hands sweeping through your hair as he comforted you. “You will come out the other side. It will be alright.”

The crippling pain increased and you felt more hot tears leak out of your eyes. Because if anyone knew the loss and devastation of losing people close to them it was Rex.

“I-I’m not sure I c-can go o-out there again!” You wept with stuttering breaths. Rex pulled back a bit, using a thick thumb to catch the tears that slid down your face, a soft smile evident past the white of his beard.

“Oh, Ad’ika. You will. If anything this will feed the fight inside you.”

“He’s right,” Zeb said as he approached, rubbing the back of his neck. “Maybe not right now but soon.” Zeb waved his large hand around. “We need you.” He held out the bottle and Zeb raised his shoulders a little at your questioning glance. “Might help. For today at least.”

It did. The spotchka, mixed with the gentle rumblings of Rex and Zeb having a conversation as you lay on the Lasat’s warm chest, finally lulled you into a comfortable sense of rest.

You had to believe what they were saying and hope that you were strong enough to see this fight through. You had to, for your best friend, for your fallen comrades.

You had to keep fighting in their memory. That’s how they stayed alive.

[underforeversgrace]

healing the wounds we hid - 5

title: healing the wounds we hid

words: 3,374

Finally, the sequel to broken trust and the wounds hidden behind! (Refresh here on AO3 or here on Tumblr)

Story Summary: Now that his father knows, Danny's life is changing for the better. Jack encourages him to let his friends and the rest of the family into his small word. Unbeknownst to Danny, Jack is secretly worried about how Maddie will react to the news upon her return to Amity - and how to confront Vlad once Jack learns his true identity. Amidst it all, an enemy lurks and plots their revenge.

Chapter 5 of 11: Being With You

AO3

Tumblr Chapter One

(Tumblr Chapter Five will be here)

Beta by: @probably-dead and @scarletsaphire!

This one has surprise art from @duchi-nesten! She knew Savant Par was in the fic and gave me a lil treat! See their post here.

~~~~~~

The three of them walked towards Danny’s house after school. He knew he needed to tell his father about their discovery today, and as much as he trusted his father now… it still felt shameful, to do something so ghostly. Even though Jack had known for so long about what he was, and Sam and Tucker hadn’t, he still felt stronger with the two of them.

Part of him wondered if that was related to the emotion eating, if they were purposefully channeling positive emotions to him, channeling strength.

“Man, I still can’t believe Ember was a ghost!” Tucker lamented.

“I can!” Sam said. “The way her music was basically mind controlling people!”

“Not basically mind controlling,” Danny corrected. “It was straight up mind control.”

Tucker continued to mourn his favorite singer being part of an evil plot to take over the world, and Sam continued to be righteous about how much stuff in the popular view was doing the same thing, just on a less literal basis. Danny was just laughing, occasionally throwing in more bits and pieces of the story. He had nearly two years’ worth of stories to tell and two friends ready to hear all of it.

“Oh, can I ask about a specific incident?” Sam asked once she got bored of the Ember conversation.

Danny shrugged. “Sure.”

“The Ghost King incident - Parrish Dark or something? What happened with that?”

“Pariah Dark. And what all do you know? I, uh… wasn’t feeling too well after it and missed the media coverage.”

“We don’t know much,” Tucker admitted. “Inviso-bill stole the Fenton’s battle suit and flew off into the Ghost Zone, somehow remotely taking down and putting the shield back up. Half of what the news was talking about was wondering how the hell you even got within the shield, especially concerned you apparently had some control over it. Do ghost shields not affect you?”

“I can pass through them when I’m human,” Danny answered. “I can’t pass through them as a ghost, but the ecto suit had remote access to the shield, since it’s powered by ectoplasm too.”

“Cool! Man, I can’t wait to talk to your parents about how they got that level of interactivity between their devices and -“

“Anyway,” Sam interjected, cutting him off before he could go too far down the tech geek rabbit hole. “Like Tuck said, half of it was you being inside the shield, the other half was wondering if you’d decided to challenge Pariah Dark and stake claim over Amity yourself. Though they did mention a few times that you’d given yourself a name as you flew away - called yourself Phantom.”

“I will forever be grateful that people only heard me say Phantom because of the suit’s interference,” Danny said with a laugh. “What I said was Danny Phantom. Drew up a fancy logo and everything. Get it? Danny Fenton, Danny Phantom?”

The other two both groaned at the pun.

“Dude, secret identity much?” Tucker said.

Danny smiled sheepishly. “That was only like five months after my accident and I was just so over being called Inviso-bill, y’know? When I realized that was all they heard, I went with it.” Danny paused. No more secrets. No more lies. He reminded himself before continuing. “And I didn’t need to challenge Dark,” Danny admitted. “He challenged me when he tried to claim Amity Park.”

“Really?” Tucker asked.

Danny fidgeted before continuing. He wasn’t used to openly discussing his ghostliness and he kept having to remind himself they weren’t going to run away. “Amity Park is my haunt. Under ghost custom, the people here are mine.” The three had stopped walking and while they looked at him with confusion, they didn’t seem repulsed by the idea. He forced himself to keep talking. “Even if it wasn’t, one of my Obsessions is protecting Amity. He tried to stake claim over my home, my haunt, my people, my life.”

He realized he had growled out the last part, the memory still sending a surge of anger and the desire to protect within him. He cleared his throat before continuing. “He knew Amity was mine when he tried to take it. He didn’t think I was a threat. And, honestly, if I hadn’t stolen that suit, I probably wouldn’t have been.”

“And then what?” Sam asked.

“Well, not much, honestly. The other ghosts helped take down the weaker ones in the king’s army and I accepted Dark’s challenge. I won,” he said with a shrug, deciding it was fine to not tell them everything - they didn’t need to know how afraid he’d been, how he’d felt his soul being ripped apart by the suit, how he’d accepted death as blackness had consumed him, how much pain he’d been in. 

How he had wondered if this death would finally grant him the peace he’d been denied the first time he died.

“That is so fucking cool!” Tucker said, practically with stars in his eyes as he looked at Danny.

“What?” Danny asked, confused. That was not a response he’d been expecting.

“Tucker’s right,” Sam agreed. “You took on a super powerful ghost king by yourself and beat him.”

“You’re a legit badass, dude!”

Danny just laughed and they resumed walking towards FentonWorks. His initial reaction was to question them not reacting to the whole ‘this is my town and I ghost-own everyone in it,’ but he didn’t. They didn’t care. They didn’t care about his weird ghost stuff and they continued to prove it with every word and action.

“Danno!” His dad shouted as soon as Danny opened the front door. “How was school?”

Danny shrugged, tossing his backpack to the floor. Sam and Tucker’s quickly joined his. “It was school. Thank the Ancients it's Friday!”

“‘Thank the Ancients?’” Sam repeated.

“Oh, uh. Kinda like ghost gods. But, like, verifiably real? One of them’s a friend.” Danny answered.

“Is that the time one?” Jack asked.

“‘Time one?’” Tucker asked, his and Sam’s faces growing steadily more bewildered.

“Clockwork. He controls time.” Danny supplied.

“When the hell did you meet the ghost god of time?” Sam asked.

“That’s… it’s not a story I like to tell. Something bad happened and Clockwork intervened. I’ll tell you the full story one day, okay?” Danny tried not to grimace as he forced the memories down.

“Dude, how many stories do you have?”

Danny grinned sheepishly at Tucker. “Enough of them.”

Jack, who knew some of the story, intervened. “Danny, I actually wanted to talk to you. Sam and Tucker can join if they want to!”

“I need to talk to you, too. Everything alright with you, Dad?” Danny asked as he plopped down on the couch, Sam and Tuck following to either side while Jack sat in one of the chairs.

“Well, your mother will be home in a week,” Jack started. Danny immediately tensed, though he relaxed some when both his friends went for his hands. Right. He had them and he had his father. “So, I want us to talk to Jazz tonight, bring her in, so all of us are on the same page when Maddie gets home.”

“Are you sure about all of this? Telling her? Do we… do I have to?” Danny asked, hating how small his voice sounded, how afraid he still was of his own mom.

“We can’t hide it from her, son,” his father said softly. “Keeping it secret this long… it’s been hard. You know your mother loves you.”

“More than she hates ghosts, though? Can you guarantee that?”

When his father’s face fell, his eyes on the ground between them, Danny felt a shiver of ice down his spine at the wordless answer. “I can’t,” he admitted. “I love her, and I trust her, but…”

“You really think Mrs. F will hate him, even though he’s her son?” Tucker asked, throwing a worried glance Danny’s way.

“It’s not that. I’m not entirely sure if she’ll even be able to believe in hybrids. We had contemplated the idea in college and tossed it out, it was simply impossible, study after study we did seemed to confirm that.”

“So you’re worried she won’t believe he’s Danny?” Sam asked.

As uncomfortable as the conversation was, as much as the idea of his mother hating him hurt, his core still hummed with some sense of contentment. His friends seemed to be invested in the conversation, invested in keeping him safe.

Jack nodded. “What’s more likely? A scientist believing something she’s disproven several times, or believing that a ghost has possessed her son?”

“And you don’t know if we can ever convince her I’m still Danny, do you?” Danny asked, though the answer was written all over Jack’s face.

“You found out on accident and believed it. What convinced you?” Tucker asked.

“Has he told you how I found out?”

“Uh, yeah. You found some kind of video on a flash drive.” Sam answered.

“That’s all they know. I didn’t go into more detail.” Danny provided and again the other two looked at him in confusion. He knew he had made it seem like the video Jack found was some random, silly thing, instead of the good-bye it had been. He motioned to his father, letting him know it was okay to continue.

Jack cleared his throat. “Well… to keep it short, it was a video Danny had filmed in case he never came home… if he was never able to come home again.” Horror and realization dawned on their faces and Danny grimaced. He hadn’t been sure if they had fully understood the risks he took. This confirmed that they didn’t.

“What I do is dangerous, guys. The other ghosts, the human hunters… being kidnapped or dying is always a possibility.” Danny admitted. His friends’ grips on his hands tightened and their desire to protect struck him so hard he was nearly breathless.

“Maddie and I nearly killed him, about six weeks before I found the video,” Jack added, guilt on his weary face. “So he filmed the good-bye video, as Phantom. Told the story of who he’d been before his accident, what the accident did to him, and then he transformed. I can’t explain it, what convinced me. But all the pieces fit. Suddenly I could see Danny in everything Phantom did.”

“I know what you mean,” Tucker mumbled.

“You could just show her the video? It convinced you, wouldn’t it convince her?” Sam asked.

“Danny erased it.”

“No, I didn’t,” Danny said. “I deleted the video journal. I haven’t removed anything from the main USB. But I don’t want her or anyone else finding out that way. No one was ever supposed to see that, I just forgot to record another version.”

Jack sighed, running his hand down his face. He looked older than Danny had ever seen him. “Either way, we have to tell her. And I want us to tell Jazz tonight. I’ve already called her and asked her to be home for a family meeting.”

Danny pulled his hands away from his friends, instead placing his elbows to his knees, resting his head in his hands, eyes shut tight, as he thought about telling Jazz, telling Maddie. Jazz he was fine with - he’d never been afraid of her rejection, not really. He’d been afraid she wouldn’t be able to keep it secret. The most he was afraid of with her was the psychoanalysis - he wasn’t dumb, he knew the life he led caused a myriad of issues. Maddie, though…

In his mind, he heard the echoed laugh of another female scientist, felt the memory of a burn along his chest. The healed scar beneath his shirt twitched with phantom pains and he pressed a hand to where he knew the three lines intersected.

Maddie had always been the one he was more afraid of, between his parents. Maddie was the better shot, the crueler scientist, the one who went into the most detail of what she wanted to do to a ghost while Danny tried to eat his cereal.

“Danny, no,” Jack said, standing and moving in front of him, kneeling down to his level. “I won’t let that happen to you again, okay? I will protect you, you will never end up like that again. Not from Maddie or the Guys in White or anyone else. Do you understand me? As long as I’m alive, I will never let that happen to you again.”

“Never let what happen again?” Tucker asked.

“You haven’t told them. Shit,” Jack muttered, glancing at the two teens with guilt on his face.

Danny just pressed his eyelids tighter against each other, tears falling as he pushed away memories of sadistic laughter and restraints and an explosion of electricity as even his core was cut into. So familiar to the electricity that had initially killed him. “The Guys in White caught me once. Please… please don’t ask me about it. My secret is safe and I survived, that’s all that matters.”

“Danny…” Sam whispered, still pressed against his side.

Tucker said nothing, wrapping his arms around Danny and pulling him close, just like he’d done in the clearing. Danny let him. After spending so long touch starved after his Accident - untouchable as Phantom, isolated from his friends, afraid of his family - he found himself eagerly seeking warmth and comfort every time it was offered to him.

“Fine, let’s tell Jazz,” Danny conceded after a moment of silence, finally cracking his eyes back open. “We can - Dad, what the hell is that?” He asked, shooting back up into a sitting position as he noticed the purple bruises on his father’s neck, just barely visible over the neckline of his jumpsuit. 

Jack immediately tried to pull up the fabric, trying to hide the injury like he had before, but Danny stopped him. He batted his hand away and pulled down on it, letting the light of the living room show dark, angry splotches coloring his skin. Danny’s stomach dropped.

He’d had enough hands wrapped around his own neck - enough bruises he’d spent hours trying to cover in the mirror - to know what it looked like when someone had been choked out. “Dad?” He asked again.

Jack sighed and stood, walking away from him. “I was going to tell you.” He finally said after several moments.

“Tell me what?” Danny asked, pulling away from Tucker’s embrace and standing as well. He felt bad for his friends - they’d gotten pulled into family drama, his family drama - but he still didn’t want either of them to leave.

“Do you remember the first time you called me? The injury from Skulker?”

Danny frowned. “Barely. I’d lost a lot of blood. My memories are spotty.”

“I’d asked you to talk to me, so I would know if you lost consciousness.”

“I don’t remember any of that.”

“I asked you to tell me about Skulker. You told me you were a unique ghost.” Jack finally turned around, blue eyes full of regret. “Told me you were one of only two.”

Danny’s eyes widened. That wasn’t good - what else had he said?

Jack continued when Danny remained silent. “You called the other guy a fruit loop.” No no no. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard you call Vlad that?”

“No,” Danny whispered in horror, thoughts spiraling rapidly out of his control.

“I had no idea who the other ghost was, you didn’t give a name. Had no clue who Vlad’s ghost half could be. And then Monday at the Nasty Burger, with Plasmius. And he called you little badger. I’d always thought it was just a godfather’s cute nickname for his godson. I was wrong, wasn’t I?”

“Dad!” Danny panicked, glancing at his father and then at his friends behind him. “You can’t know that! Vlad’ll kill you if he ever finds out you know! Oh, Ancients, Sam and Tuck…!” He trailed off, berating himself for letting this happen, for telling anyone his secret, for ever making that stupid video.

“Danny, Danny, calm down,” Jack said, grabbing Danny’s shoulders, grounding him. “I’m fine. I talked to him today.”

“You what?” Danny asked, staring at his dad in horror, before anger flared inside him. “Did he do that?” he growled.

“Danny, it’s fine, I’m fine, we just talked,” Jack said. “Let me talk before you start to panic, okay? Can you do that for me?”

“I don’t panic…” Danny mumbled but didn’t interrupt when Jack spoke again.

“Sure you don’t, son,” Jack teased. “But I talked to Vlad, okay? Everything is fine, he isn’t going to hurt me or you. And he doesn’t need to know anyone else learned his secret.”

“If everything is fine, why do you have bruises?”

Jack shrugged. “Those are from before we talked.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were going there? You know what Plasmius is like.”

“He’s my friend and I hurt him. It was my responsibility.”

Danny grumbled but dropped the topic for now. He and Vlad would be having some strong words - and fists - the next time they saw each other.

“Jazz will be home soon,” Jack said, glancing at the clock near the front door before heading to the kitchen. “I’m going to order pizza, okay?”

“Do you want us to stay?” Tucker asked, getting up to stand beside Danny.

“Please?” He answered.

“We’re right here, Danny,” Sam said, grinning. “Do you want to tell him about the other thing before or after Jazz gets here?”

Danny groaned. He’d completely forgotten about that with everything else that had happened since walking in the front door. “Before.”

“I have to run to the bathroom, wait for me before telling him?” Sam said, going up the stairs before either boy could answer.

For the first time since Danny’s revelation, he and Tucker were alone with each other. He turned to his friend, mouth open but words failing him. He focused again on the emotions that weren’t his, the feeling of love still just as strong as it had been before.

“Okay, dude, I swear, it isn’t the superhero thing!” Tucker said as he saw Danny’s hesitation. “I think I’ve felt that way for a long time, and it hurt so bad when you left and then being around you hurt and then when you asked to talk to us and then I just kind of realized it but I didn’t want you to think I was just crushing on you because I found out you’re Phantom so I didn’t mention it but I know you felt it during lunch and I hope it’s okay and doesn’t ruin our friendship and -!”

Danny cut off Tucker’s rambling, stepping into his personal space and deftly snaking his hand around Tucker’s head. He pulled him down until their lips pressed together. Tucker relaxed against him instantly, wrapping both of his arms around Danny’s back, a pleasant warmth against the chill.

Danny knew he was being impulsive, taking something new that he’d never had before and running with it. But it just felt right, pressed against Tucker even as they pulled their faces apart because of  Tucker’s need to breathe.

“I know you’ve been through a lot,” Tucker whispered. “Even more than I originally thought, apparently. But I’m going to be by your side for everything, now. I’m not going anywhere. Understand me?”

Danny chuckled, letting the stress of the earlier conversation and the fear of conversations still to come slip away from him, even if for only a moment. “Understood.”

Tucker grinned and Danny was again melting into the warmth of the other boy’s lips.

“Man, I’ve been anticipating this since middle school,” Sam said as she descended the stairs. Both boys jumped, rapidly pulling away from each other, blushing hard. Sam just shrugged. “You two have been setting off my gaydar for years. The only ones surprised here are you.”

Danny and Tucker just grinned sheepishly at her as she laughed, throwing each other sidelong glances.

No matter what happened next, Danny knew he had people in his corner. Dad, Sam, Tucker - his support group kept growing, and hope was a warm feeling inside of him as he prayed his sister and his mother would be joining the group soon.

[mightbelola]

Lola’s Disappearing Act

You know you can just disappear? Move to another country. Throw your number away. Don’t tell people. Become a ghost.

I’ve done that three times now. Speaking from experience, it was nice, quite freeing. Knowing that no one knows who you are feels like freedom. The only catch is, you will get lonely. You will miss human interaction. Well, the humans you care about. They can’t interact with you now they’ve lost your number. Would you like to reach out first?

But also, speaking from experience, it’s fine even if you have no one, or that you don’t talk anymore because at the end of the day, I still care and I’ll call them on their birthday.

Things happen. People make friends and people break up all the time. I mean, I’m not anyone special, they probably didn’t notice. What’s sad is I wouldn’t reach out first.

I can’t explain why. I have issues. No one wants an issue, so is it okay if I excuse myself for a while?

As long as that lasted, I got lonely. It’s not that bad, because I’m used to it. I was trained for this. When I was six, I took care of my sick dad, he said I was his best nurse and his favourite. When I was ten, I called the school principal myself, asking for a school transfer. When I was twelve, I transferred to this poor school with no water supply. I was a real snoozer there. I don’t remember learning anything. I learned Arabic, but I still can’t speak it. I couldn’t stay awake during classes because I was so exhausted from carrying water up to third floor every single night before I went to sleep. I was small, those pails were heavy. I also met people there, some of us connected and it was nice but tell you what, we don’t talk anymore. I don’t even know where they are. Can’t even remember their names.

Fortunately, I moved to this other school. The school was free but it was 3 hours away from home. It had better rooms with water pressure. One day, I called my mom to tell her I was really sick. She didn’t believe me so I stopped calling ever since. I was sent to sick bay, and stayed there alone for a week, for being sick. No one sent me to the hospital because I had no guardian. No one visited.

I was fine.

But for the first time ever, I was really lonely. I knew I was already on my own. I went somewhere quiet where no one could find me, and got on my knees. For the first time ever, I had to, I really, desperately prayed. I was thirteen.

“God, I don’t know what I’m feeling. I feel like crying all the time but I can’t do it here, there are so many people. Please help me. I want to be happy.”

Just like a miracle, right when I walked out, it felt like someone had just cheered me up.

Similar moments happened again when I first broke up with someone, and again after that, and again after that, so really I was trained to go through this life, alone with no one.

I learned to fix my own problems. Graduated schools, got myself an honorable job, married myself a good man, made enemies, made friends. I’ve done them all, I did good. Didn’t I?

But no, just when I thought life was finally good, it creeped up on me when I was the happiest, then ripped my heart out to pieces. I stopped being happy and so catch me tonight on Lola’s Disappearing Act, 9PM Bangkok time, here on Channel Three.

I am not exactly alone but I can’t help feeling lonely. I’ve got him here and he’s so good to me. I’ve got a family, I’ve got friends and people I want to talk to back home but I don’t. I still can’t explain why except I’m trained for this. Even if we talked, it wouldn’t stop me being a sad cat lady without her cats, would it? That’s fact number one, and fact number two, there are no twins. Fact number three, number three is cursed. Fact number four, I miss them all.

But I trained myself again and again, “Don’t get attached.” Think about it, what’s the point? We’ve established that no one or nothing ever belongs to us, so we might as well wake up from dreaming. Or else, you’re in another nightmare, where you finally found your treasure, you keep holding on to them, thinking now you’re rich, now you’re happy, giggling and screaming, “They’re mine!” but you got too excited and you slipped. You fell into a black hole holding your treasure. It’s impossible to hold onto anything now you have to let it go, and you did. So you fell, and you fell, as your life flashed before your eyes.

“It’s not real. It’s just a nightmare.”

Reality is, I look around and I see crucial evidence that I didn’t imagine the whole thing. Their keepsakes, like these pink hospital wristbands. They were on their ankles. They’re real.

I could try another prayer. I could say, “let me be happy again,” but last time I asked for a miracle, it didn’t happen. It’s a test, maybe. Testing my faith and my patience, but God knows how patient I’ve been, so that’s not the test, I don’t think. We’ve done this before, I did good.

Maybe I didn’t.

I don’t know. I can disappear all my life, it would be best for me. I dreamed about it, but something is missing. There must be something I can do, that I must make right. I just don’t know what.

But tell you what, I’ll disappear for a while.

I’ll be fun later.

[asweetprologue]

Nili’s Benchmark Geraskier Fic Rec List

hey yall! I officially hit 750 followers (a few days ago, I blew past the benchmark without even realizing!), which is... insane. I truly can’t believe that so many people over the last year have enjoyed my presence in this fandom enough to continue to follow my work. you guys are so great and I love you all so much, so I decided to put together a gift for you!

this is a list of my favorite geraskier fics from the fandom, which I have been putting together over the last year or so. a few of these are big in the fandom, but a lot of them are smaller pieces that I feel deserve more attention! I have provided ao3 and tumblr links where I could find them, as well as ratings and summaries. Most of these are canon!verse because I’m not personally a big fan of modern au’s, but there will be a few of those scattered throughout as well. I’ve divided the fics into two sections: oneshots and multichapter. See the list below the cut!

Being in this fandom truly has gotten me through the pandemic in a big way and I have made so many good friends while here. thank you all for validating my weird obsession with these characters and enabling me in these trying times <3

Oneshots

all that was good, all that was fair (all that was me is gone) | M | 7517 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions Of Violence | @xdandelionxbloomx

Somewhere, deep in a forest, a man drags himself from his grave by sheer power of will. He lies gasping on the forest floor and does not know who or what he is. The world is wide and wonderful, though, and there is so much to see.

Or, Jaskier is so stubborn that he literally comes back from the dead.

Another fascinating addition to the mythology of the Witcher. Jaskier’s slow rediscovery of himself is so well done here. One I’ve come back to again and again. 

As Fast As Love Can Go | T | 9628 | @bygodstillam

There are Faeries in the Wood.

That's what everyone said, at least, not that there was any solid proof. Jaskier had tried, more than once, to find some. Just a hint somewhere, of a real story, of real magic. But all anyone seemed to have was stories.

Jaskier was determined to find proof. He wasn't expecting to find a witcher in the process.

Fascinating fic with some really interesting worldbuilding, and a fresh new take on True Love’s Kiss. Also with some great art by @hehearse!

beautiful, he stirs up still things | T | 2575 | @alittlebitmaybe

“You’re not asking me to dance,” says Geralt.

Jaskier turns his palm up on his knee, offering it. “I think you’ll find I am.”

Just them dancing. This is a lovely sort of pre-relationship dynamic. So soft.

Dialogue Prompt | NR | 2932 | @reinvent-and-believe

Dialogue Prompt 48: “You make me want things I can’t have.” Wordless I-love-you 50: buying them a special treat when you go out shopping

Geralt gets Jaskier a gift, which prompts some confessions.

Even a small love | E | 22,272 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con 

“Well,” Jaskier replies distractedly. “Lots of things want to strangle you.”

“You don’t.”

It isn’t a particularly troublesome accusation, or even necessarily an accusation at all.

This is one I read early on in the fandom, and it really stuck with me. The dynamic between Jaskier and Geralt is perfect, and the misunderstandings between them feel so realistic. The non-con is not extreme, but do mind the warnings. 

For the Space of a Heartbeat | T | 2021 | @drowningbydegrees

As it turns out, falling into bed with your very best friend who you are privately very much in love with isn't nearly so nerve wracking as waking up with them the morning after.

Just sweet, morning after discussions. I love to see them talking for once.

Greensleeves | T | 10,414 | @rebrandedbard

When Geralt crosses paths with Jaskier in the spring, the world is dressed in green. Quite literally. Everyone everywhere is wearing green, and it all comes down to a song Jaskier has written that, to his mortification, has become popular throughout the Continent. It's torment, being forced to preform the song over and over again and have his heart broken anew. But who is this Lady Greensleeves the people say Jaskier is so maddeningly, heartbrokenly in love with? At the baron's wedding party, Geralt is determined to find out.

This is one of my personal faves - there’s just something about Jaskier’s feelings being put on blast while Geralt remains totally oblivious that I think is so very them. And the resolution at the end is delightful.

I Don’t Wanna Fall (If It’s Not In Love) | E | 13,902 | @writinglizards

The first time it's out of desperation. Things get rapidly out of hand from there.

OR the building of a relationship through mutual wank sessions.

I love everything Ashley writes, but this one was the first fic I read by her and it still has a warm place in my heart. I also highly recommend It’s Been A While (makes me cry every time) and Tell Me Honestly

Like a Storm, Like a Flood | T | 1065 | @valdomarx

Jaskier is leaving for the winter, and Geralt can't bear the thought of not seeing him for months.

It was soooo hard to pick only one fic by George, but this one is so soft and sweet and yearning I just had to go with it. This is really just about Geralt finally hitting a breaking point and saying enough is enough.

one flesh | E | 10,763 | WARNING: MCD 

“Well, then. I’m a ghost.” Jaskier spread his arms grandly. Geralt held his gaze for a moment, then dropped his head and laughed. Jaskier put his hands on his hips. “Do fill me in on what’s so funny.” It wasn’t funny. It was just so - ridiculous, the things Geralt’s fucked up brain would invent. This had to be the last nail in the sanity coffin, it just had to be.

Or: Jaskier is a ghost, and Geralt is a mess.

Jaskier dies and comes back as a ghost to haunt Geralt into taking care of himself. Geralt does not handle this gracefully. This fic is so sad and heartbreaking, but the ending is so sweet.

to render it transparent | E | 23,901

Geralt wakes up warm, peaceful, and utterly content, which is how he knows that something is severely wrong.

Sigh. This fic. This is a time travel fic - Geralt ends up in the future living with Jaskier on the coast, just after the mountain. It’s slow and beautiful and extremely bittersweet, all about how we choose to love people despite how much it can hurt us.

With All the Continent A Stage | M | 4745 | @greyduckgreygoose

Later, Geralt learned that the play was four hours long. Four hours long. It didn’t feel like it. Most of it passed by in a fever dream of ominous music, dance-fighting and dryads in gossamer leaves, swinging from hoops attached to the ceiling. Yennefer made an appearance, played by Priscilla in a glittering negligee. She sang a song to Geralt about putting him “Under Her Spell”, and they had a sensual dance number which was made a little strange by a sickened Jaskier (played by Jaskier) coughing loudly in the background.

(Jaskier invites Geralt to a musical production inspired by his own life.)

Jaskier basically writes Geralt a love letter in the form of a four hour long play. Geralt is an idiot about it.

Multi-Chapter Fics

A Lover’s Lament | M | 25,364 | @somedrunkpirate

So,” Jaskier begins, as casually as he can, “you are telling me, that in theory, if I were to be in love with someone — anyone — that person could well be in terrible danger?”

Of all terrible and ridiculous things that have threatened Geralt’s safety, Jaskier’d never thought that loving him might be what will get him killed.

I honestly can’t count the number of times I’ve read this fic. The monster is so interesting, and the mythos of it fits seamlessly into the world of the Witcher in my mind. Jaskier being so afraid that his feelings are going to put Geralt at risk, clearly unable to see that Geralt is going through the exact same thing. I think about the scene with them looking at each other almost daily. 

A Pair of Gloves, the Scent of Roses | M | 24,134 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence

In the bustling days before the Midsummer festival, Geralt is sent into the countryside to deal with a monster - with Jaskier once again by his side. But the bard has not forgiven him, and while he's not hiding his contempt for the Witcher, he is recalcitrant about revealing his true motives for joining him. As the hunt turns into a desperate mission to save an innocent man and the monster is not what is seems to be, Geralt learns a few new things about his old friend and decides to finally attempt to mend the rift between them...

This is one of my favorite’s in the fandom - it feels so believable, the world is so rich and the oc’s are convincing and charming. Geralt and Jaskier feel so honest here, stumbling around each other but still drawn together. Beautiful beautiful beautiful

Bearing the will of the flower | NR | 11,449 

The way Jaskier sees it, his hobby of following a witcher around was always pretty likely to get him killed.

The fact that it's happening now because the witcher in question doesn't love him, he thinks as he coughs up crumpled flowers, hardly makes a difference.

My favorite hanahaki fic in the fandom. I’m such a sucker for these, and these two idiots being so incapable of talking about their feelings really makes them prime candidates. 

Food of Love | T | 22,488 | @wallatile-qvibbler

I brought a dead princess back to life through the power of song is the kind of thing that would have got an eyebrow raise even from the stone-faced Geralt of Rivia, so it's a good thing he and Geralt will probably never see each other again.

(or: the one where Jaskier channels magic through his songs, and it almost never goes as expected.)

This is a Jaskier and Renfri centric fic, which wasn’t something I knew I wanted until I read this. Jaskier is a bard which in this AU comes with magical powers, but it feels so well integrated into the universe that I wish it was just... how the Witcher is. Renfri is so good here, and even though Jaskier and Geralt barely even interact you can feel the tension and love between them. Cannot recommend highly enough.

friends and allies of the witcher | T | 10,312 | @theamazingbard

Yennefer crawls over to her newest cellmate. They’re curled up on their side. Breathing, but only just. She’s not sure what she’s hoping for when she turns them over. Still isn’t when she sees that it is indeed Jaskier.

“Shit."

Yennefer and Jaskier each suffer in more ways than one at the hands of Nilfgaard.

Yennefer and Jaskier get capture by Nilfgaard and tossed into a cell together. Exactly what I want out of season 2 honestly. Their interactions are gold.

I’d Be the Choiceless Hope | E | 45,188 | WARNING: Rape/Non-Con | @lesdemonium

As a baby, Jaskier was visited by a fae, who gifted Jaskier's mother with Jaskier's obedience. As Jaskier grew older, the "gift" became more of a curse.

You know I’m not gonna make a rec list without listing Zoe’s Ella Enchanted au. Need I say more?

Silver and Copper | M | 56,139 | WARNING: Graphic Depictions of Violence | @kaer-cuan

Geralt is just supposed to pass through the quiet Lettenhove area. He's not anticipating being begged by its people to help save their viscount from a curse that keeps him from daylight. Lord Jaskier, they call him, and he's likely dying.

As Geralt struggles to untangle the ugly web of history that has lead to the increasingly complicated curse, he finds himself spending more and more time with the strange young viscount and wondering just what he might have been before the curse, and who he might be after. But things are not always as they seem, and as the curse tightens its grip on Jaskier, Geralt is forced to face the fear of failing yet another person whose choices were stolen from them.

Or-

Jaskier is kept from becoming a bard. Geralt finds him anyway.

This is a fic that haunts me. It’s very scary in parts, and mind the tags - there are some very heavy themes here. But it’s beautiful and touching, and Jaskier feels very true to himself even though his origin is so different.

we could be married (and then we'd be happy) | E | 50,222 | @a-kind-of-merry-war

Jaskier reached into his pocket, fingers grasping around the little box. He pulled it out with what he hoped was a romantic flourish, flipping it open to reveal the simple gold band inside. “Geralt,” he said, confidently, cooly, like this wasn’t terrifying, “Will you marry me?”

Geralt and Jaskier fake marriage proposals to get free deserts and shit but it goes tits up when Vesemir catches them in the act. Not knowing how to fess up, they go along with it for a while, which is hell because they’re both pining like mad. As I said, I don’t love modern au’s, but it’s merry so of course this one had to end up on my list.

~

And that’s it! 20 fics for you, and hopefully you can all find one or two you haven’t read before. There are a lot of people and fics that I didn’t include in this list only because I was trying to not put a million down (which I could). I highly recommend anything by @wherethewordsare, @julek, @contemplativepancakes, @witcher-and-his-bard, and @inber, as well as those linked to fics above, and I’m sure there are others I forgot to mention. Yall have truly made being in this fandom worthwhile <3

[parkerslatte]

Gone Forever

Luke Patterson x Reader

Warnings: Car accident, death

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: (Y/N) is friends with Julie and the boys - she is very friendly with Luke in particular. Not long after the Orpheum performance, (Y/N) dies in a car accident. Luke tries to find her as a ghost.

*****

(Y/N) beamed up at the stage as Julie and the boys performed, she was beyond proud of what Julie has accomplished with the boys. Julie was no longer the timid girl who shied away from music. She was now performing on stage at the Orpheum. (Y/N) was beyond proud of her. However, no matter how proud (Y/N) was of Julie, there was still an aching feeling in her heart. She knew that the boys were going to cross over, she knew that this was the last time she was going to see them. 

The song drew to a close and (Y/N) clapped along with everyone else. A single tear fell down her cheek as she looked at Luke, Alex and Reggie. She made eye contact with Luke and he gave her a small reassuring smile. It’s okay, he mouthed. (Y/N) smiled at him once more before smiling at Alex and Reggie who both gave her a smile in return. The four of them took a bow before the three boys disappeared, leaving Julie along on the stage. 

After the show, (Y/N) went straight home. Julie offered for her to stay the night, but (Y/N) just wanted to be alone. Julie understood this, knowing how much the boys crossing over had affected her. While Julie went home to find the boys dying (again) on the studio floor, (Y/N) went back to her house and cried on her bed. (Y/N) wished that she had never fallen for the shaggy haired ghost, but it had happened. She knew that a relationship between the two would never be possible for them but at least she could’ve still spoken to him - but now he was gone forever and there was nothing (Y/N) could do. 

There was a faint knock on her door and (Y/N) tried to compose herself quickly, knowing that it was most likely her parents, “Hang on, I’ll be a minute.” (Y/N) hastily wiped the tears from her face while getting up from the bed. The door opened and (Y/N)’s heart dropped. She stopped wiping the tears away and stood there stunned.

“Luke?” 

Luke smiled at the girl, “Yeah, it’s me.” (Y/N) noticed that he looked different, he looked more alive.

“But, how- how are you here? You crossed over.” (Y/N) said, inching forward towards him.

“Playing the Orpheum wasn’t our unfinished business.” Luke stated, stepping closer to (Y/N).

“What about Caleb? What about his house band? Are Alex and Reggie okay? Does Julie know? Does-” Luke cut (Y/N) off by holding her upper arms gently, “How- how are you doing that?”

Luke smiled again, “Something happened with Julie at the studio, we don’t know what it was but I don’t think we need to worry about Caleb anymore. And as for this-” Luke’s moved his hands from (Y/N)’s upper arms to cup her face, (Y/N)’s moved hers to hold gently onto his wrists, not believing this was real, “I still think we’re dead but we can now touch people. So now, I can finally do this.”

(Y/N)’s eyebrows furrowed, “What do you mean-”

Luke planted his lips on hers, cutting off her speech. (Y/N) kissed him back, gripping onto his wrists a little tighter in surprise. Luke pulled away and rested his forehead on hers. (Y/N) opened her eyes and looked at Luke. A smile stretched across her face. 

“How long have you waited to do that?” (Y/N) mumbled.

“A long time.” Luke answered before leaning in and kissing her again.

***

It was a few weeks after the Orpheum performance and everything was going amazingly. The boys had figured out that they could choose when they wanted to be seen and could make themselves tangible at will. This of course made Reggie very happy as he could interact with Ray without it being a one sided conversation. But even Reggie’s happiness didn’t meet the happiness Luke and (Y/N) felt. The two of them were not rushing into things, the last time they had kissed was that night after the Orpheum performance, but the two of them were now extremely touchy with each other. They were always connected in some way, whether that be holding hands, Luke’s arm slung around her shoulder or their feet touching as they sat opposite ends of the couch. 

The four band members were sitting on Julie’s couch flipping through all the TV channels trying to find something to watch. (Y/N) wasn’t with them, she had decided to go shopping with her mother that day - of course Luke sulked at the thought of spending time away from (Y/N) since the two had been connected at the hip these last few weeks. (Y/N) had reassured the boy that she would come around later that day.

They flicked through the channels until the word ‘Breaking News’ flashed up on the screen. Julie stopped flicking through the channels as the four band members listened.

“At 4:02 this afternoon, a car was hit in a drunk driving accident. The drunk driver sustained few injuries however the car they hit wasn’t so lucky,” The news reporter said, “The two people in the car, believed to be a mother and daughter, suffered major injuries. The mother was quickly rushed to hospital to treat her, the daughter however, wasn’t as lucky. Seventeen year old, (Y/N) (L/N) was pronounced dead at the scene.”

Tears fell down Julie’s cheeks as she jumped up from the couch, immediately phoning her dad. Luke, Alex and Reggie sat there in shock, their eyes glazed over with tears. It wasn’t until a few minutes later once everything had sunk in, that Luke got up from the couch and began pacing around.

“No, no, no, she can’t be gone. She promised she'd be here and she never breaks her promises,” Luke ran his hands through his hair as tears slid down his cheeks, “Maybe- maybe she’s come back as a ghost, I mean we did right? Maybe she has too.”

Alex looked at his friend, even though Alex himself was distraught over the news, he knew that Luke was hurting much more than he was, “But Luke, we had unfinished business, that’s the reason we came back. And we came back twenty-five years after we died, if (Y/N) does come back as a ghost, it may take her that long.”

Luke took one look at his blonde friend before leaving the house, not before saying one final comment, “I’m going to find her.”

For days after her death, Luke had searched everywhere for (Y/N). He had checked the site of the crash, he had checked her house, he had checked the small cafe she had loved so much. He looked everywhere he could think of and she wasn’t anywhere to be found. Luke didn’t want to believe that (Y/N) was gone forever, but he was beginning to think it. 

He collapsed on the side of the street. No one would be able to see him, he made sure of that. All he could think about was (Y/N). If she wasn't a ghost, he would never see her again. He would never get to hug her again. He would never get to kiss her again like the night of the Orpheum performance. Luke just wanted (Y/N) back. 

Luke wished that he hadn’t convinced (Y/N) to come around Julie’s later that day, maybe then she and her mother wouldn’t have been caught in that crash. They would have taken another route home and (Y/N) would still be alive and her mother wouldn’t be in the hospital. Luke’s eyes widened, there was one place he hadn’t checked yet. 

***

(Y/N) stared down at her mothers body laying on the bed. Her chest going up and down in shallow breaths. Her mother was alive and (Y/N) was happy about that. Her mother was okay and that’s all that mattered. Even though she was hooked up to multiple different machines, (Y/N) knew she would pull through - her mother was a strong person. She would never let something like a drunk driver take her life. (Y/N) had been in the hospital her mother was in the past few days, she hadn’t left. (Y/N) had realised that she was a ghost quite quickly after someone had walked directly through her. (Y/N) even watched as her body was placed into a body bag. 

However, since she had died, (Y/N) hadn’t gone to see Julie, Luke, Alex or Reggie. She would have no idea if Julie would even be able to see her. (Y/N) wouldn’t even know what she would say to Luke. (Y/N) had gotten entertainment from people from her highschool posting tributes to her. When there was no one at the computer in reception, (Y/N) went onto instagram and saw everything people were posting about her. She always laughed when someone she hated posted a tribute saying they were the best of friends, it took everything for the dead girl not to comment on the post, but (Y/N) thought that a comment from a dead girl would probably give them a heart attack so she refrained herself from doing so. 

Feeling another presence in the room, (Y/N) turned around expecting it to be another doctor but when she saw who it was she stood up. Luke was standing there, he looked clearly disheveled and his eyes were red and puffy like he had been crying. (Y/N) felt her break, she suddenly regretted not going to see him once she became a ghost. 

“(Y/N)...” Luke had rushed forward and pulled the girl into his arms. The girl he had been looking for for days was in his arms.

“Luke,” (Y/N) said, pulling away from the hug and looking up at him, “I am so sorry I didn’t come to see you. I was scared and I didn’t-”

“I don’t care. You’re here, that’s all I care about.” Luke’s hands held (Y/N)’s waist gently. 

“So how are the others? How’s Julie doing?” (Y/N) thought of her friend and how she was coping with her death.

“She’s been a bit distant, she hasn’t spoken to us much about it. Alex and Reggie tried to talk to her but she just brushed them off.” Luke explained.

“Do you think she will be able to see me?” (Y/N) questioned.

“There’s only one way to find out.” Luke said, taking a step back from the girl and holding his hand out.

(Y/N) looked at his hand before looking back over to her mother in the hospital bed, Luke noticed this and took her hand in his, “She’s gonna be okay, alright. The doctors and nurses are going to take good care of her. She’ll be fine.”

(Y/N)’s glance lingered on her mother a few moments longer before it finally shifted back to Luke. (Y/N) gave him a small smile, “Alright, let’s go.”

“One thing first.” Luke said before pecking (Y/N) on the lips. (Y/N) smiled before the two of them poofed away.

[ryqoshay]

Putting on Hairs - Post Production: Somnial Experiments

Primary Pairing Trio: EmmaKanaKarin Rating: G Words: 590 AU: Theater, Cryptids, Demons Fandom: Love Live Nijigasaki Parent Fic: Putting on Hairs - Post Production Time Frame: Sometime before the main story Event: Promptober 2022 Event Source: Idol Fanfic Heaven channel on Discord Prompt: Somnial Content Warning: Brief descriptions of Hell

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Author’s Note: Primary entry for Oct 24th

Summary: Emma and Karin agree to let Kanata experiment with their dreams

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Karin blinked. Nope. Still white. Everything was white. It was like she existed on a blank sheet of paper. Paper that was in three dimensions, or something like that. Was this what Kanata usually saw when eating dreams?

“Is this our dream?” Emma was the one to give voice to their thoughts.

“Oh, oops…” Kanata laughed lightly. “Sorry, I’m not used to doing it this way, with such… willing hosts.”

“Your hosts are usually unwilling?” Karin balked.

“Well, the high majority never know I’m there, so it would be unfair to call them willing.”

“I see.”

“Isn’t that a bit hypocritical, Karin-chan?” Emma asked gently.

“Uhm�� yeah, I just realized that.” The succubus hung her head. “Sorry, Kanata.”

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” The somnophore dismissed with a casual wave. “But that said, my consumption of dreams is not all that different from your consumption of life force. Both are vital to the host’s wellbeing so taking too much would be detrimental to them. If you drain too much, your host could become your thrall, or just flat out die. If I focus too much for too long on an individual host, they will eventually go insane. Dreams are important, even those you don’t remember.”

“And that’s why you two have learned to take less from more hosts, right?” Emma surmised.

“That’s right.” Kanata nodded.

“So, how does this work?” Karin asked.

“Well, since you two were willing to succumb to my somnial spells, I was easily able to induce a lucid state as well. And while I could impose my own will on things, its your dream, so you two should be in charge. Just think of the setting you want.”

A moment later, the three were surrounded by a strange amalgamation of the Swiss Alps and Hell, with pine and snow-covered mountains of brimstone that occasionally burst forth with hellfire. Demonic imps and other hellspawn flitted around and interacted with deer, squirrels and birds.

“That works, I guess.” Kanata chuckled.

“I think it looks wonderful.” Emma admitted, holding out an arm for a nearby imp to land on. She giggled and patted its head.

“You said it was our dream?” Karin asked.

“Right.” Kanata confirmed. “I’m currently acting as a conduit between you, allowing for a collective dream.”

“So are you possessing us or something?”

“Not physically, no. I’m not a ghost. I’m quite happily snuggled between you two.”

“Kanata-chan is very fluffy and snuggly as a sheep.” Emma pointed out with a smile.

Karin hummed her agreement.

“But, can’t demons possess people too?” Emma then asked.

Kanata blinked. “You know, I think you’re right, Emma-chan, most probably can. Or maybe all of us can. Honestly, I’ve never tried. I’ve always just stuck to possessing dreams, so to speak.”

“Can you possess people, Karin-chan?”

“I haven’t tried either.” Karin admitted.

“Well Karin-chan is certainly possessive of Emma-chan.” Kanata grinned.

“She’ll probably get that way with Kanata-chan as well.” Emma giggled and slid an arm through Karin’s.

Kanata hummed happily and mirrored the move on her other side.

“…” Karin knew she was blushing but couldn’t do much about it, even as her lucid dream self.

“So, what do we do now?” Emma asked.

“Whatever you two want.” Kanata replied. “Again, it’s your dream. Kanata-chan is just here for the ride. And the delicious meal.”

“Then let’s explore!” Emma decided, immediately pulling her girlfriends along.

Karin smiled at her girlfriend’s enthusiams and let herself be led into the strange dreamscape before them.

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Author’s Note Continued: This is yet another one I’d love to expand on at some point. Dreams are fun to play with. Or eat, in Kanata’s case.

[alwaysmychoices]

The Memorial

Synopsis: On the day of Danny and Bobby’s funeral, Charlie slowly (and unwillingly) begins to feel the impact of her trauma, and Ethan tries to protect her from her own pain.

Chapter 20 of the “with and without” series

Previous Series: “a weekend with dr. ramsey”

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x MC (Charlotte “Charlie” Greene)

Words: 5.8k

Rating: T (language)

tw: disassociation, trauma, emotional distress negative self-talk

disclaimer: I used my experiences as inspiration for Charlie’s emotional state. I am not a trained mental health professional and apologize if I misrepresent anything in this chapter.

That morning, Ethan had no choice but to discharge Charlie from the hospital.

There was no reason to keep her, even after an unusually thorough final exam. Her vitals were normal, and she hadn’t exhibited any concerning side effects from her treatment in days.

Charlotte Greene had survived. She was in the clear now.

For the first few days, Ethan didn’t let himself dream of such a thing. He didn’t want to be disappointed if she took a turn, and he didn’t want to blind himself in his diagnosis and treatment of her. It was only in the last 48 hours that her discharge had become a real and impending event. Truthfully, he could have released her yesterday. The only reason he didn’t was that she experienced a few headaches he wanted to keep an eye on.

But it wasn’t the headaches, not really.

Ethan kept her in the hospital because, deep down, he doubted she was ready to leave.

Charlie seemed fine – sometimes, on a good day, even normal. But there was a haunting in her gaze, a lingering ghost in every movement. Something unresolved and untouched hid in every interaction.

The truth was that they neglected her psychological healing, placing all of their emphasis on her physical improvement. Each of her loved ones denied this to themselves, of course. They showered her with support and affection, and when she had those moments where she seemed lost in something, they stayed with her until she found her way back.

But they hadn’t touched the root of it.

They hadn’t had the courage, nor the stamina.

They didn’t know if they avoided it for themselves or for her. The free days – the one where she wasn’t thinking about her tragedy – were the best. She was a model victim, full of energy and strength. She made jokes from the confines of her hospital bed and offered warm smiles to comfort her loved ones.

Her parents left Boston confident that their daughter would make it through. Even when her father harbored doubts, he looked to Ethan to protect her.

But Ethan knew.

Somewhere, deep down, he knew.

He observed as if surveying her for cracks in the façade.

Even now, as Charlie collected her things from the hospital room in preparation to leave, he studied her. She seemed happy. She felt happy, but Ethan wasn’t sure if she was.

“You’re pouting,” Charlie commented playfully as she picked up her jeans and started to shimmy into them. Sienna had been kind enough to bring her a fresh set of clothes from the apartment so that Charlie didn’t have to leave in the scrubs she wore when disaster struck. Sienna had been more than happy to do it. It gave her a sense of power, that she could do something for Charlie after feeling powerless during her suffering.

“I don’t pout,” Ethan murmured, taking a seat in the free chair. He was, of course, still pouting.

“Well, I’m happy,” Charlie commented as she continued dressing, “I’m finally free, and I’m counting down the hours until I can finally take a shower in my own shower. I never thought I would miss water pressure this much.”

Charlie had a whole list like this – full of tiny luxuries and familiar habits that she missed. Some of them she already had plans to satisfy, like the shower and her coffee maker. Some were more abstract, like dinners with her friends and hearing Sienna hum during their morning routine. There was one she wouldn’t take a “no” on, which was that she intended to spend the night in Ethan’s bed no matter what happened today.

Right now, the world was full of possibilities, and after so long, she could finally reach for them again.

Ethan felt guilty for what he would say next, but he was also confident it had to be said.

“Will you be attending the memorial today?”

He watched the crack in her sunny day take shape and splinter her soft smile.

Charlie froze, and a cold, cold realization washed over her. It froze everything it touched until it reached her bones. Nothing was safe from its icy grasp.

It was a warm room, Charlie knew it was. And so, she pretended she wasn’t cold, even if her teeth felt like chattering.

“Is that today?”

Charlie knew it was today, but she asked just to be sure.

“Yes, at 3:30 pm.”

Charlie nodded, instinctively rubbing her arm as she tried to channel the warmth and happiness she felt only moments ago. It was coming back – so very, very slowly.

“You don’t have to go, you know,” Ethan ventured carefully.

As he expected, Charlie’s eyes shot to him with an expression that could only be described as surprise and disgust. She had to go. Those men died for her!

They…

They died for her.

Charlie felt knocked back, and afraid Ethan would see it, she shook her head and turned her gaze to her jeans as she buttoned the top.

“I have to go, Ethan.”

“No, you don’t.”

They’d had this conversation last night, and even if Ethan knew he would lose, it felt imperative to try.

“Ethan.”

“Rafael Aveiro isn’t going.”

“Because he wasn’t medically cleared to go. That’s not the same.”

“Everyone would understand, Charlie.”

“I wouldn’t understand, Ethan,” Charlie insisted, “I have to go, for me.”

Ethan knew this was a terrible idea. He wasn’t sure why or specifically what would happen, but he knew Charlotte Greene should never step foot inside that memorial.

But there wasn’t much he could do. He knew Charlie very well, and if she intended to go, there was nothing he could do to stop her. Even if he demanded she avoid it and threw up barriers, she would overcome each obstacle with a vengeance. She was a stubborn woman with conviction, a damning combination.

All he could really do was make sure she didn’t do it alone.

“Alright,” Ethan conceded, earning a look of shock from his girlfriend, “Go home. Get some rest. I’ll come by to pick you up.”

Charlie squirmed, surprised by how easily he’d given up the fight. It gave her a moment of pause, and at that moment, she wondered if she was making the right decision. But then the thought faded, and her certainty returned.

She owed it to Bobby and Danny…

“Do you want a ride home?” Ethan offered, still a bit nervous about letting her out of his sight today, “I have time to take you, if you want.”

He’s scared, she realized quietly.

It was startling to see, though the sight was not unfamiliar.

Seeing fear now felt wrong. This was their happy ending, wasn’t it?

Charlie crossed the room to reach her boyfriend, who watched her in silence. When she studied him, she noted the exhaustion and the concern etched into his handsome face. Between his eyebrows, a firm wrinkle of unease sat. She gently smoothed it with her thumb and hoped that was enough to settle it. Ethan recognized her attempt at assurance and comfort, but he didn’t feel like he deserved them.

He was supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.

But really, they needed it equally.

They were two shattered people fumbling to put themselves back together.

“I’ve missed walking,” Charlie politely refused his offer. Ethan wasn’t terribly surprised she did.

“You have my number if you need me,” Ethan reminded her, and something warm settled in her heart, a break from the bone-chilling sadness.

She loved him so, so much.

“I’ll be fine, Ethan,” Charlie said with the upmost confidence.

Ethan raised a questioning eyebrow.

“I will be!” Charlie insisted.

“It’s okay if you’re not,” Ethan declined to confirm her assertion. He couldn’t in good conscience assure her when he didn’t believe her.

Charlie wished he would anyway.

She made a show of rolling her eyes like she was amused with his overconcern. Ethan wasn’t impressed with the display.

It didn’t take long for Charlie to finish dressing and collect her things. When she was done, there was nothing left to keep her in this hospital.

They hesitated at the door and watched one another to see who would make the first move to leave.

Instead, Ethan kissed Charlie softly, whispering, “Goodbye, Charlie.”

She smiled into his lips, “I can’t wait to kiss you somewhere outside of this hospital.”

Ethan grinned. He felt a profound sense of relief that she would make it out of this building. His wonderful Charlie could do anything with this independence. She would continue to exist, even out of his line of sight. She was no longer a fixture in this hospital, nor a victim to gawk at during rounds.

She was free.

They were both free.

Ethan wasn’t sure what came over him. It could only be explained as an instinct to run. He was sure they had to. He was convinced that they were up against a tragic, impending disaster and that they needed to leave while they still had time.

“Why don’t we run away?” Ethan asked.

“What?” Charlie laughed, but the severity of his expression made her smile falter.

“I’m serious. Let’s run away, right now.”

“You’re at work,” Charlie cautioned with confusion.

“So? I doubt anyone would begrudge our departure after everything we’ve been through,” Ethan decided, “We’ll just go somewhere – anywhere you want – and come back whenever the hell we want to.”

Ethan wanted Charlie to say yes more than he’d wanted anything. He wanted this more than he wanted her to say yes to his offer at a relationship all those months ago. Really, he didn’t just want it. He needed it. It felt like the only way to quell his growing anxiety and avoid pain and tragedy. It was the only way to protect her.

But Charlie wasn’t the kind to run away.

She was the kind to try, even if it broke her.

It was one of the reasons Ethan loved her, but it was also one of the reasons she scared the hell out of him.

Placing a comforting hand on his cheek, Charlie kissed her nervous boyfriend softly and told him, “I’ll see you in a few hours, okay?”

She never gave an explicit answer to his offer, but her aversion was answer enough to disappoint Ethan.

“Okay,” Ethan conceded weakly, kissing her forehead one last time.

When she walked away, Ethan wondered if he was worrying all for nothing.

She looked strong. She looked healthy. She even looked happy.

But something told him that she wasn’t, and against his best wishes, he trusted it.

Charlie left Edenbrook to a relieved fanfare. Everyone wished her well and showered her in comfort and adoration. A few of the nurses who had stayed with her this week took turns giving her goodbye hugs. When they held her, a quiet thought wondered if they just wished they could hug Danny. A pair of rowdy interns cheered when she walked by, but Zaid silenced them with a glare. Sienna paused her rounds just to give Charlie a big, tight hug.

It was a powerful and cheerful time.

But then she was at the front door of Edenbrook, and Charlie hesitated.

She felt almost contained to Edenbrook, like something would break if she exited.

It was an irrational fear, of course. That’s what she told herself when she finally made that first step on the sidewalk.

They never made it out.

Charlie felt the air get knocked out of her chest at the mere thought.

But that was ridiculous. It was a thought – and an intrusive one at that.

She wouldn’t let it stop her.

What makes you so deserving to get out?

Charlie gritted her teeth and fought the thoughts as she took another step.

They didn’t stop, though. At every block, there was something new – some horrific image in her mind, some intrusive thought, or some terrible memory.

She heard it in the voices of strangers on the street, but every time she looked over at them, they hadn’t really said a thing. They observed her wild, scared expression with a sense of concern and avoidance. More than one stranger took a few steps away when she looked at them.

They weren’t talking to her. Charlie knew that.

Still… little snippets of their conversations twisted into dark, terrible words.

“They deserved life more, you bitch.”

“You only lived because you’re a coward.”

“Would you have even saved them, if you could? Or are you too selfish?”

Even the beep of a cell phone brought her back to the horrible, irregular beep of Raf’s heartbeat monitor that night.

It followed her.

It was everywhere.

The anxiety started in her chest, but it spread through her body like an infection.

Like the infection that should have killed her.

Charlie fought it. She rebelled against the thoughts and battled the improbability of the dreadful words. She went in and out of panic in a series of disorienting flashes.

She didn’t always know where she was.

Once, she looked around the group surrounding her as they walked the crosswalk, and she wondered how she got here. Where had she been? Where was she going?

Then, it came back. She remembered again, and she pretended she never forgot.

Somehow, she made it home.

She was relieved to see her building. Quietly, she recognized that it was a miracle she navigated so well when her grip on reality felt fragile. But she pretended that nothing was wrong. Of course, she got home. She was normal, after all. Those were just bad thoughts and bad moments. It didn’t have to mean anything.

Then she realized she was just staring at her building.

She made no moves to go inside. She didn’t even fish her keys out of her purse.

Something in there was a threat, and she couldn’t go home yet.

She started walking away with no real plan. First, she thought she would just stop at a nearby coffee shop, drink an espresso, and then go back to normal. But she walked past the coffee shop and kept walking. She wasn’t sure where she was going.

A mile later, she finally decided.

Half an hour later, Charlie knocked at Rafael’s front door. Within seconds, Rafael’s grandmother opened the door with overwhelming exuberance. Charlie hardly had a moment to process Juliana at all before she was pulled into a big, tight hug.

The affection, if just for the moment, knocked Charlie out of her fog.

Juliana ushered Charlie inside with offers of drinks and snacks.

“Oh, thank you, but this is all too much,” Charlie insisted.

“Nonsense!” Juliana exclaimed, pushing a plate in Charlie’s direction, “You saved my beautiful boy. Nothing is too much for you!”

“Your beautiful boy saved me,” Charlie asserted with a bit of guilt. She wasn’t a hero. She didn’t deserve all of this.

A gentle creak of a door alerted Charlie to Rafael’s presence, and he sheepishly corrected, “We saved each other.”

When Charlie looked in his direction to greet him, Rafael knew.

Something was wrong.

He couldn’t put his finger on it, but something in her eyes was amiss, even pained.

Charlie finally caved and accepted a dessert. Juliana, however, wasn’t satisfied and began packing her a tin of goodies to take home.

While she was a few feet away, Rafael took a few tentative steps towards his friend.

“How are you?” Charlie asked when he was close enough.

Rafael shrugged, “I can make it up the stairs without wheezing, which is an improvement.”

Charlie nodded slowly, “And Sora?”

“Definitely over,” Rafael confirmed, “But I think it’s for the best. You and Ethan?”

Charlie thought back to their night in quarantine, when Rafael implored her to tell Ethan how she felt. She was happy to have taken his advice.

“I told him I loved him. He told me he loved me, too. Naturally, I cried,” Charlie smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes, “I don’t think he believed me until the next day, though. Something about deathbed confessions not being as meaningful.”

“At least it worked out for one of us,” Rafael smiled playfully.

He was watching Charlie, though. She realized it during a pause in their conversation. She felt studied, and she wondered what he saw.

Whatever he interpreted couldn’t have been good because, after a beat, he asked her to join him on his walk. Just as Ethan had hours before, Rafael regarded Charlie with concern.

Charlie accepted.

They navigated Rafael’s neighborhood largely in silence. The silence invited the fog back, and by the time they reached the park, Charlie felt like she was fighting against wet sand to keep moving. She was almost as exhausted as Rafael as they collapsed into a nearby bench.

Charlie felt like Rafael was the only person in the world who might understand what she couldn’t yet put a name to. But given the opportunity, she was too afraid to ask. If she asked, it would be real, and she wasn’t ready for it to be real.

“I never asked how you were,” Rafael said pointedly.

“Are you asking now?” Charlie asked, looking ahead at the park instead of her friend.

“I am.”

Charlie thought for a moment – maybe too long of a moment, really.

“My reports say I’m perfectly healthy,” Charlie finally answered.

“That’s wasn’t quite what I asked,” Rafael seemed amused like he had expected her to evade him.

Charlie rolled her eyes at his smirk, but it was a show. She just wanted to seem amused, too.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came.

He gave her time, allowing the silence to stretch until she finally had the strength.

“Does it stay like this?”

Rafael raised an eyebrow in silent question, and she let the façade slip just enough for him to know what she meant.

Charlie wanted Rafael to tell her that, while he felt what she feels now, it eased over time. Being home helped him become whole again. The thoughts and the panic would subside if she just waited.

But Rafael told her the truth instead.

“Yes,” he admitted, “I feel it every second. Sometimes, I feel like it’s harder at home. I wake up at home with my family and my life. And they… they don’t.”

His words crushed Charlie, and she sank further into the bench.

“Do you feel like it’s everywhere?” her voice was so soft, so scared that it shook Rafael to his core, “Like… if you’re just walking down the street, do you feel like you hear the bad thoughts? The ones that remind you of what happened.”

Rafael looked terrified.

He was, he realized belatedly.

Not just for himself and his trauma but for her and hers.

“Sometimes,” Rafael confirmed, “I feel it mostly in the pain… When my body aches and fails to do easy things, I’m so angry and then… Then, I remember why and what happened – and that Bobby and Danny only felt the pain in the end.”

Charlie grimaced, and she held onto the bench until her fingers turned white, fighting the wave of pain that followed the mental image. She looked pale and on the verge of collapse when she finally opened her eyes again.

“Don’t go today,” Rafael warned.

“I have to,” Charlie swallowed, “I couldn’t save them… I might as well honor them.”

Rafael didn’t have much of a counterargument, so he didn’t give one. He understood. In a lot of ways, he felt the same about the memorial. He, unlike Charlie, had been saved by his precarious health. He didn’t have to make that choice. He was relieved, even if he felt a twinge of cowardice for not even trying to go.

When Rafael didn’t try to stop her, their conversation fell into a lull.

The silence was nice.

Neither of them expected anything from the other.

They didn’t have to pretend to be okay…

Maybe they should have stayed.

But they didn’t.

Charlie, looking at her watch, realized she was running out of time. When she told Rafael that she had to go, she looked normal again – strong, even. Like she was clothed in armor. Like, maybe, if you squinted, you didn’t have to worry about her.

Rafael wished her well, and she started to leave.

“Wait, Charlie,” Rafael called out before she got too far away.

Charlie stopped, turning to him with an expectant expression.

“Thank you for making it out of that room.”

Her heart stopped, and her eyes watered.

They were supposed to be dead, and her heart burst with how happy she was that he was alive.

“Thank you for making it out, too,” Charlie was sure she had never meant a thank you as strongly as she meant that one.

He smiled softly, and then she left.

This time, when she reached her apartment, she had the courage to step inside.

It was… eerily the same.

Like this apartment was magically immune to all of the pain and trauma.

Something echoed in the halls, something she couldn’t yet touch.

The thoughts were distant though, but… so was everything else.

Charlie tried to put her life back together. She unpacked her things, cleaned her room, and started a pot of coffee. The entire time, she struggled to keep moving. She kept finding little moments of lost time. Alone, they were strange, but together, they were terrifying.

She knew her surroundings, yet something about them felt strange. She knew where she was, what she was doing, and what she was supposed to do next. But the haze…

It surrounded her.

It was everywhere but somehow out of sight.

She never saw it coming, but when she snapped out of it, she realized it had enveloped her.

She was empty, but the thoughts were finally quiet.

She felt nothing, but at least she didn’t feel the torture.

Charlie kept going because Charlie was the kind to always keep going.

When she turned on the shower, she was fighting to stay here, to stay aware. She wanted to stay.

The water was hot, obscenely so. The shock to her system burned more than just her skin. Her mind felt like it was ablaze, and finally, Charlie felt herself again. She didn’t know how much she missed her awareness until it was back. She turned the water hotter to keep feeling it.

Then…

She was back in the hospital – in the burning hot shower after she was released from quarantine. She was alone washing off the sweat and grime of that hospital room. She used shower products that weren’t hers, that didn’t smell or feel like her. She was alive. But who else was?

She was a lone survivor. She was the final girl. She was the lucky one.

Charlie screamed.

No. No, Charlie really screamed.

She was back in her apartment, and she was screaming.

She caught her breath, reaching for slippery tiles to find her balance.

She slid. Or maybe she sat down.

But she was on the shower floor, knees pulled to her chest as she begged for fresh air.

She sat on that shower floor, hoping for a miracle. She put faith in everything.

In the water, that it would wash away her pain.

In the air, that it would allow her to exhale her guilt.

In her body, that it would remember how to stand again.

But gasping through the water, she just felt like she was drowning.

Then…

When it was too much, when it was all too much, it stopped.

Like a warm, protective hug, her brain shielded her.

And then it was over.

What felt like seconds later, there were loud knocks at her front door. They were jarring and set her free from wherever she had been.

Charlie looked around frantically, trying to remember where she was.

The shower was still running, through the water was less hot now.

Everything looked the same, but…

But the sun was lower.

Charlie scrambled for a towel and turned off the shower. She fumbled for her phone on the counter, and her heart sank.

An hour.

She had lost an hour.

The knocking started again, and Charlie didn’t have the time to process what her lost hour meant. Still trying to get her bearings right, Charlie went to the front door and swung it open to find out who the fuck was so insistent about getting inside.

It was… Ethan.

And he was dressed in a suit.

Why was he-?

The memorial.

Ethan watched as her eyes widened in understanding and then panic.

He didn’t know what to think or how to interpret her apparent confusion. She was soaking wet still, as if she had just gotten out of the shower, and her skin was bright red, like it had been burned by the water. She looked…

Confused.

And scared.

Ethan immediately knew that something was wrong.

“Charlie, are you okay?” he broached carefully, taking a step toward her. He wanted to hold her, but she looked fragile…

“Yeah, I just, um… I was just…” Charlie stammered, “What time is it?”

“Three,” Ethan answered.

“What?” Charlie felt a wave of nausea. The memorial was at 3:30.

Ethan surveyed her again, taking in every clue like she was a mystery to be solved.

The wet hair. The confusion. The panic. The inability to explain.

What was it?

How did he help her?

“Charlie, why don’t you know what time it is?” Ethan asked cautiously, placing his hands carefully on either shoulder. She was hot to the touch.

“I, um, I was just in the shower,” Charlie answered. She felt like her mind was sludge, and words were nearly impossible to string together, “I must have zoned out and lost track of time.”

“For how long, Charlotte?”

Charlie dropped her eye contact and shrugged.

He leaned closer, pushing her soaking wet curls out of her face, “Rookie, please. How long?”

Her green eyes were full of fear as she finally admitted, “An hour.”

Ethan’s chest tightened, and he let out a horrified, terrified huff of breath. Instinctively, he pulled her in, tucking her safely in his chest where he knew she was okay.

She told herself she didn’t know why he was doing this. It just a little bit of time – only a little scary. More confusing than anything.

But she fell into his arms like she needed it because she did.

Ethan didn’t care that she got his suit wet.

He only cared that he had her.

“We’re not going today, Charlie,” Ethan decided authoritatively, “We’re not.”

“Ethan!”

“You’re not,” Ethan said more firmly.

“I have to be there!”

“No, no, you don’t,” Ethan pulled away just enough to look at her so she would know how intensely he meant this, “You do not need to go, Charlie. You need to make it through today. I’m not letting you do this to yourself just because you feel some obligation. Charlotte Greene, you owe your survival to no one.”

He knew she didn’t believe him by the way she averted her eyes.

“I have to go,” she insisted forcefully.

“No,” Ethan shook his head, reaching for her hand determinedly, “Come on, let’s get you dressed.”

He started to pull her to her bedroom, but she remained firm.

“Please, Ethan,” she pleaded.

Ethan felt a moment of pause.

The way she looked at him… like she needed this, like she needed him to let her have this.

His heart broke.

His beautiful, wonderful Charlie was in so much pain.

And he caved.

He caved because he wanted to make it go away so, so badly that he was willing to make a thousand mistakes.

He grimaced but consented, “Fine. But we still need to get you dressed.”

Getting dressed, like everything else, was hard.

Charlie struggled against her mental fog, and as a result, she moved slowly. She was frustrated as she tried to push through her shortened routine. Even just putting her hair into a braid felt like a monumental task, and she cursed under her breath.

Why couldn’t she just be okay?!

Ethan stepped in before she could get too irritated. He helped her finish the braid and secured it behind her back. He found her dress hanging on the door and helped her step into it. He hesitated after he finished with the zipper, wondering once more if he should stop her before it was too late.

“I’ll be okay,” Charlie whispered, watching his hesitation in the mirror.

Ethan didn’t believe her.

Instead, he kissed the side of her head and whispered, “I love you, Charlie.”

She smiled – a real one. A tired one, but a real one.

Ethan found her shoes on the bed, and he held her hand for stability as she stepped into her high heels.

Then, she was ready…

And he had to take her.

Ethan didn’t leave her side, not for a single second. Not when they parked at the cemetery and were surrounded by friends and coworkers. Not when people tried to call him over to give their condolences. Not when Charlie’s friends surrounded and showered her in support.

Especially not when Danny and Bobby’s families greeted her and thanked her for all she did to try to save them. Not after, when they stepped away, Charlie collapsed into his side, tears running down her face.

He never left her.

Ethan held her hand the entire time. He didn’t give a shit who saw or what they said.

It was a relief when the service began, and everyone stopped crowding her. They stood in the back, where no one cared when Ethan put his arm around Charlie’s waist to hold her up. It was a lovely service – lighthearted but reverent. There were heartwarming stories and cheerful anecdotes. Bright, shining moments of joy were followed by waves of grief and anger.

When the families stepped up to the podium and began to speak, Charlie absently whispered to Ethan, “I think I’m supposed to speak…”

Ethan thought that was a terrible idea.

But out of respect for her grieving process, he asked, “Do you want to?”

Charlie considered it.

In her pocket, she had a piece of paper where she’d scribbled thoughts last night. It was full of platitudes and grief, even an admission that she couldn’t save them.

She couldn’t say it. She couldn’t say any of it.

She couldn’t even hear it.

“I think I want to go home,” she replied.

Ethan nodded thoughtfully, squeezing her waist reassuringly, “Okay. I’ll tell Naveen, and then we’ll go.”

Charlie nodded weakly and missed his warmth the second he stepped away. A minute later, Ethan returned to guide her back to the parking lot. They slipped away quietly. Only a few people noticed, and they were respectful enough to not say a word.

In the car, Ethan held her hand.

The fog was back and even stronger.

Charlie was silent. At times, she felt like the only thing keeping her connected to reality was Ethan holding her hand.

Ethan took her back to his apartment, where he knew she would be safe and free from well-meaning mourners and friends. He held her in the elevator and regretted letting her go to unlock his front door. Ethan had never been more relieved by Jenner’s love than when he saw Jenner shower his girlfriend with affection, allowing her to crack a small smile.

Ethan left Charlie and Jenner in the living room to change out of his wet jacket.

Alone for the first time since he found Charlie, he drowned in awareness. His Charlie…

He almost cried. He wanted to cry. He wanted to release this. He wanted to go back to the hospital, where he and Charlie slept quietly and smiled from across rooms.

He didn’t want to grieve.

Neither did she.

He had to protect her. He had to save her. And he didn’t know how.

Ethan sat on the corner of his bed, waiting for an epiphany.

Instead, he found Charlie standing in the doorway.

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked quietly.

Ethan shook his head resolutely, “No. Are you?”

Charlie let out a deep, deep breath.

“Not at all.”

Ethan laughed at the honesty. She had been lying to him all day, and hearing the truth was nearly funny when it was so glaringly obvious.

“You should have made me run away with you,” Charlie grumbled, kicking off her shoes as she walked into his room. She fell into his bed like it was the only place she felt safe.

But really, did she even feel safe there?

Ethan placed a comforting hand on her back and drew a soothing pattern with his fingertips,  “We still can.”

Charlie sighed, her eyes closing just a little, “Right now, I just want to stay in this bed.”

“You always liked my bed,” Ethan observed, kissing the top of her head. He kicked off his shoes and then fell back into bed beside her, turning his body to face her.

“It’s because you’re usually in it,” Charlie mused.

Her eyes were closed with Ethan decided to wrap his arms around her, tucking her head safely in his chest. She fit in his arms like he was designed to hold her…

When she looked up at him again, there was something raw hidden in the green of her iris.

“I almost lost you,” she said it like it was a revelation, one she hadn’t let herself think of since that night.

“I think it’s more accurate to say I almost lost you,” Ethan suggested.

“I’m serious, Ethan.”

“So am I.”

Charlie hadn’t allowed those kinds of thoughts or memories to permeate her life. She hadn’t wanted to be sad, but…

They happened.

They were real.

They followed her anyway.

“I woke up, and you weren’t there,” Charlie said, more to herself than to Ethan, “I was relieved. I missed you, but… I didn’t…”

Something was stabbing her.

Something inside. Something sharp and terrible and scary and it was here.

“I didn’t want you to watch me die,” she said in one breath, just to get it the fuck out of her.

She needed it out. She needed all of it out. It was trapped. It was torturing her. It was going to kill her.

She couldn’t breathe.

Or maybe she could…

She panted, trying to just fucking decide.

The fog was gone. The haze left.

And she was there, and she felt it. She felt all of it.

Nothing came to save her from the feeling.

She wanted to scream again, but it came out as a mighty, aching cry. She devolved into uncontrollable, body-shaking sobs.

The cracks in her perfect, sunny day splintered and shattered the illusion. There was nothing to hold on to now… It was just rain.

No, she was wrong.

There was one thing to hold on to.

And she held onto him just as tightly as he held on to her.

Ethan wasn’t going to let go, so Charlie let herself fall.

That didn’t go where I thought it was going to go, but wow... this may be the saddest chapter I’ve ever written. 

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[buckyhoneyno]

High Without Your Love Pt.5

********Warning*******

This book is being moved into a Stucky x OC fic rather than a Y/N. Her name is Athena, nothing else about the book is changing.

***************************************

Steve x reader x Bucky

Soulmate AU where the first words you say are tattooed on your soulmate.

“Sorry I’m high on feminism…and a little weed”

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4

Masterlist

Warning: Smut, 18+

The trio decided to spend the next day on their floor together lounging about. Athena was sporting one of their sweatshirts, and a pair of boxers that she had to roll quite a few times to get them to stay up. It was still pretty early, around 8 in the morning.

"We can make..." Steve started saying as he looked in fridge, "...sandwiches?" He said it like a question as he looked at Athena and Bucky who were both sat at the bar drinking coffee.

"We need to go grocery shopping," Bucky stated as he stood up to put his empty cup in the sink.

"I need to go find out where my room is," Athena muttered as she stirred her spoon around the cup. "I can't really wear this to the grocery store,"

"Your room?" Steve reiterated. "I thought you would want to stay on our floor, you know with us," His frown made Athena's heart melt as she got out of her seat to move to his side. His arms instantly wrapped around her to pull her to his chest.

"Of course, I do, but obviously coming here I wasn't exactly expecting to find my soulmates. Tony had all my stuff moved in a few days before the party. At the moment, I was thinking of just using that room as storage for my stuff till we figure out our living situation," She ran her hands up and down his back in soothing motions before leaning up and placing a kiss under his jaw.

"We have about 3 extra rooms on this floor," Bucky mused. "and for the living situation, I actually had an idea for that," Athena and Steve looked at him waiting to hear his idea. "How about we pick one of the rooms on the floor as a community room, we can get an extra big bed, make it our own. Then we can each have our own rooms as well, for when we get sick of each other," He joked at the end.

"I think that's a great idea," Athena said with a smile, reaching a hand out for him she quickly pulled him closer. Leaning up she gave him a slow building kiss before pulling away. "We could go shopping for the shared room today if we want, I have everything that's meant for my own room now. I just need to move it all here."

"Miss Athena, would you like me to have the movers come by while you are out shopping," Jarvis's voice filled the kitchen, making Athena jump, still not used to the AI.

"Yeah that would be great," She replied, "You can have them all move it into..." she looked at the men with a raised brow.

"Move it into the room between Bucky's and mine," Steve supplied with a shrug. "There's one at the end of the hall that'll do just fine for our group room,"

"Alright then, I'm going to go find my stuff. You two can get ready here," she said with a nod.

"Well come with you," Bucky said quickly. "Just in case you need help," Steve nodded in agreements. If they were being honest though, the thought of leaving her, even for a moment was something neither of them liked. It was a feeling they knew would calm down eventually but at the moment their bond was so new that they felt threated by just about everything and everyone.

"I think I can figure out how to put some clothes on and pack a bag," Athena replied with a wink but sighed when she saw their unchanging expression. "But if you must," she teased before walking toward the elevator. Both supersoliders on her tail. "

The trio made it to her designated floor which she happened to share with Natasha and Clint. It wasn't uncommon for this to also be the floor that many of their other team mates seemed to gravitate towards. Currently at the kitchenette, Bruce and Nat sat drinking their morning cup of coffee and speaking in low tones to each other. Clint sat on the couch in a pair of iron man boxers and a baggy shirt, lazily skipping through channels, a bowl of half eaten cereal in his lap.

"Well good morning love birds," He joked noticing the trio walking in. "Have a nice night?" He teased with a wink.

"It was great," Athena replied with a little smirk as she continued towards her room, if you could even really call it that.

"Jarvis informed us that some movers were going to be coming to get your stuff today, so I imagine it was a lot better than great," Nat said off handedly, though they could tell she was holding back a little smile of her own as she teased the girl.

Athena only gave a hum in response, keeping some mystery alive in their little tryst. At one point, she knew that her and Nat would sit down and she would spill all the dirty details though. She just had to wait till her super soldiers weren't around. They might fuck like animals but they were still gentlemen from the 40s and she had no doubt that they weren't the biggest fans of sharing what they did in the bedroom.

Steve and Bucky chose to stay quiet through the interactions, happy to let their girl talk. It also helped that it was so early in the day, none of their team mates were to chatty before 11. They all made it into her designated room and saw that all of her things were still thankfully in boxes. She seemed to know which ones had what in them and quickly put the boys to work on finding her suitable clothes to wear while she found all of her toiletries. The two men had shower stuff she could have used but Athena would die before using a two-in-one shampoo conditioner on her beautiful hair.

"How about this Doll?" Bucky called over holding up a sundress and a pair of sandals. He seemed almost nervous but she smiled with a nod and he felt relief spread through him. It was a stupid thing to be worried about but he couldn't help himself.

"Maybe a jacket with it, I think it's supposed to be a bit breezy today," she added as she turned back to the box.

"Found one," Steve said from his spot on the floor tossing it to Bucky. "I think it matches," Bucky laid the outfit out on the bed and nodded.

"I should have you two pick my clothes from now on, it's a cute outfit," Athena complimented with a smile. "All I need now is to find underwear and shower," she ticked off her list on her fingers.

"Well all your underthings are in that box," Steve pointed to the one he happened to be sifting through on the ground. "And what a collection you have baby girl," His eyes seemed to darken as he thought of some of the pieces that sat in the box. A navy baby doll set had been the star of his current fantasy and he would do just about anything to see her in it right now

"Well maybe if you two are extra good today ill model a few of them tonight," She bit her lip as she leaned against the bed post looking over her two soulmates. Bucky looked into the box and reached a hand in pulling out a little lacey number that had silk strings holding it together, it was a shocking red color that looked like blood.

"Or you could do that now," He hummed as he walked towards her. Athena have a soft little laugh while taking it from his hands. Leaning up on her toes she let her lips ghost over his cheek before landing on his ear.

"Nice try sarg, but we got plans today," she whispered the words with a little nip that made him shiver. Stepping back, she clapped her hands together breaking the two men out of whatever spell she had them under. "Now that we have some of my stuff we can head back down to our floor and get ready, chop chop," She said with a nod while scooping up the outfit and the lingerie on her way by, her bag of toiletries swung over her shoulder as the men stood dumbfounded in the room. They looked at each other and then the box with her lingerie in it and silently decided they would grab it now.

The thought of another person touching her more intimate things made their blood boil. Steve quickly flipped the lid closed and picked it up. Bucky followed him out of the room and towards the elevator where Athena was waiting. She took one look at the box they had and had to hold in a laugh.

"You two are ridiculous," She teased as they stepped into the elevator. Bucky grabbed her free hand and pulled her to his chest.

"Your all ours pretty girl, which means we don't want some random movers handling your delicates. That's our job," He made her breath hitch as he let his hands wander down her backside, giving it a good squeeze. Leaning closer he found the spot on her neck that he knew drove her wild and gave it a sharp nip that had her letting out a mewl of need, before the elevator dinged, letting them know they were on their floor now. Patting her backside once he left the elevator leaving behind a slightly frazzled soulmate. Steve chuckled before following Bucky, towards the middle room which was going to be designated as Athena.

"She going to make us both pay for that one," Steve stated as he set the box down.

"Yeah, but it'll be worth it," Bucky said with a smirk. A huff could be heard from the doorway as Athena came in the room. She gave Bucky a halfhearted glare, though it came off more sexual then she planned. Placing her things on her bed Athena moved towards the bathroom with her toiletries and moments later the sound of the shower turning on could be heard.

The two men stood in her room for another few minutes debating what they should do.

"You know saving water is very important," Steve started looking at Bucky who nodded quickly.

"With global warming and all," he replied just as quick before the men practically flew into the bathroom clothes discarded. They were in the shower in record timing standing on either sides of their soulmate who didn't look the least bit surprised.

"took you both long enough," she teased while moving under the water, tilting her head back in a sensual motion as water cascaded down her body. Her hands wandered over her own chest in an almost clinical way but it still entranced the two men who were struggling to keep their eyes from popping out of their heads.

Steve seemed to lose his composure first as he lunged forward sinking his hands into her hair and pulling her to his chest. His mouth quickly descended onto hers and they fought tongue and teeth to gain dominance. Steve turned around, Athena still in his arms, and back her into Bucky's waiting arms.

The metal armed man waited very little time and let his hands rom between his soulmates legs. His fingers played with her little bundle of nerves, a moan resonating through the steamy room as she voiced her enjoyment. It was cut off by Steve though who continued to kiss the day lights out of the woman. His mouth though slowly trailed down her body till it found purchase on her chest, working over her nipples. Her hands sunk into his hair holding him to her as she let out another strangled sound of pleasure.

"Please," she whimpered as she felt Bucky line up with her back entrance, "I want it,"

"Oh, I bet you do, kitten," He mused back before lifting her legs, Steve quickly took them from his friend and wrapped them around his own waist, his erection sinking into her passage without warning. A ragged sounded building in her throat. Bucky didn't need any more motivation and found himself surrounded by sweltering heat when he pressed himself forward.

The three of them found a rhythm quickly and soon were making sounds in the shower that resembled some wild animalistic matting as they pounded into the woman who seemed to be loving every second of it.

"Fuck I'm gonn- fuuu-" Athena orgasm over took her suddenly making her shake in the men's arms as they raced to their own finish line. Another few thrust and then men were done for.

Minutes passed as they all came down from their high and disconnected from each other.

"Now that you have sufficiently made me dirty, why don't you two clean me off," Athena said with a sigh as she leaned back into Bucky's chest, her legs still shaking a bit.

__

Once the trio was clean and dry and had finished off yet another round in the shower they began to dress themselves for their day.

"How about we go get some breakfast somewhere first and then go look for stuff for the room," Steve delegated from his closet while Athena and Bucky sat cuddled on the bed both getting ready quicker then him. Stepping out fully dressed he knelt on the bed next to them, his hand slowly tracing patterns on Athena exposed thigh. "Then we can finish our errands at the grocery store,"

"Sounds like a plan," Bucky said with a nod before sitting up, they each took one of Athena hands and pulled her off the bed with them. "come on doll face, let's go face the world,"

--

I have a few more chapters ready to go so let me know if you want to be added to the tag list!

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[octoberumbrellas]

Potential jobs/careers for the Hargreeves if they weren’t raised by Reginald

In which the (not)Hargreeves were raised in supportive environments where they were able to pursue their own interests and weren’t turned into child super soldiers

also this turned out way longer than intended (like 1500 ish) and I don’t really have creative writing experience so this may read like an essay

Luther: Physical Therapist

Luther would frequently go to the gym for stress relief or just for fun. He would practically become a personal trainer/support team for any of his friends who asked for advice at the gym. The coach at his high school frequently encouraged him to compete in weight lifting, but Luther decided not to because he thought using his powers would count as cheating.

He realized senior year of high school that he could continue helping people by doing what he loves so he decided to study physical therapy when he went to his university. At one point he switched to being a general sciences major but he switched back after a semester.

However, his love of science never faded. He’s become a regular at several science museums and planetariums in his city and the surrounding area. He’s considering going back to college for another degree so he can teach science someday because he’s always had a passion for sharing what he loves.

Diego: EMT (Emergency Medical Technician)

Diego didn’t realize that his good aim came from his powers until he was in middle school; up until then he figured that he just didn’t have any powers. He played t-ball when he was young before switching to baseball and playing through high school. Although he could have used his powers to do supernaturally well, Diego focused on utilizing his own natural talents, which earned him a spot on his university’s baseball team.

Although he considered going pro, Diego decided to become an EMT. He has a passion for helping others and knew that this was a healthy and helpful way to channel the hero instinct that he’s always had.

Even though Diego didn’t pursue a career in baseball, he still enjoys the sport. He volunteers to coach a kids baseball team on the weekends. He has become a significant positive role model for the kids he teaches. Now he occasionally uses his powers to entertain them with pitches that could never happen naturally.

Allison: Lawyer

Luckily, Allison was able to train her powers to only work for a certain phrase fairly early on, when she was around four years old. Her parents helped her come up with a phrase so they could take a break from having ice cream for dinner almost every day.

After a few unfortunate incidences of letting her powers go too far, she decided to be more careful and only use her powers when absolutely necessary. Allison recognized the importance of people using their voices for good so she participated in speech and debate teams and in student government throughout high school and college.

Allison studied pre-law before attending law school. She has taken on many high profile cases and plans to open her own firm fairly soon. She makes it a point to provide low cost or free services to people who may not be able to afford a good lawyer.

Klaus: Philosophy Professor

Being able to speak with the dead caused Klaus to have a lot of questions about the world, life, and the afterlife. His parents helped him to healthily cope with the ghosts around him; now he’s not afraid of ghosts and occasionally is able to help them. He excelled in school and graduated a year early.

Klaus worked as a medium and palm reader to have some extra funds while in college. All of the medium experiences were real but the palm readings were entirely made up (but were somehow always correct).

He double majored in philosophy and classics before pursuing his master’s degree and becoming a philosophy professor. He’s still a bit of a character, but what professor isn’t? Klaus is known for his thought-provoking lectures; students always try to enroll in his classes because they know that it will be a positive experience.

Five: Physicist

While he was very young, Five figured out that he could teleport; once he grew older, he made it his mission to find out how it works. He took as many classes as he could while in elementary, middle, and high school. Five studied physics at his university to continue to study the science behind teleportation.

After graduating college, Five got a job at NASA. His goal is to continue studying his power so that he can replicate it with machines to revolutionize the future of space travel. He’s begun considering whether or not he should attempt to time travel with his powers but he’s still considering the ethics of this.

Five’s other goal is to create the perfect cup of coffee. He worked as a barista in college to help him on this mission; the results were very mixed.

Ben: Book Editor

Ben discovered his powers as a young kid and was, unfortunately, terrified. He began keeping to himself and it took him a while to open up again. During those years to himself, he fell in love with books and literature.

When he began college he chose to study literature, but he switched to professional writing at the beginning of sophomore year. Ben worked at the school newspaper for his last two years of college and he has been working on his own novel on and off for several years.

Now he works as a book editor; this allows him to travel occasionally because he can work practically anywhere. Sometimes, Ben chooses to go somewhere remote so he can allow the thing inside of him to stretch out. He’s also trying to find and meet some of the other people like him so they know that they don’t have to be alone.

Vanya: Music Teacher

Vanya’s parents realized early on that she could healthily channel her powers through music. She enjoyed studying her first instrument so much that she now knows how to play eight, but her favorite is the violin.

She participated in band and orchestra throughout high school and continued on with orchestra through college. Although she didn’t declare a major starting out, Vanya decided to study music education after she began giving music lessons halfway through freshman year.

Vanya now works as a music teacher at an elementary school because she’s great with kids and understands that music can be a good way to channel emotions when you can’t describe what you’re feeling with words. She still does private lessons on the weekends and in the summer.

How they met each other (bc I still want them to be friends without the Academy)

Luther and Five

Luther and Five met in a general science class freshman year. They were in the same group for a project and quickly became friends; partially because they had a lot of shared interests, partially because their other group partner did practically nothing to help.

They rented an apartment together for the next three years. They accidentally discovered each others powers at the same time; while attempting to move a couch up the stairs to their apartment it started to fall, Luther picked it up to keep it from falling on Five as soon as Five teleported away. After that, they were happy to finally stop hiding their abilities. Luther and Five had a shared passion for space; Luther actually suggested that Five could apply his abilities to space travel.

Allison, Vanya, and Klaus

Allison decided to take piano lessons sophomore year, a friend recommended that she take lessons from Vanya. Allison only took lessons for a few months before she had to stop due to a busy schedule but they still hang out at least a few times a month. They met Klaus at a New Year’s Eve party when he offered to read their palms; they both declined but now they all hang out.

Klaus told them that he sees ghosts shortly after they met but they both thought that he was joking. Allison and Vanya realized that he was telling the truth when he manifested a ghost on their birthday junior year. Vanya was excited to share her powers with them but it took Allison a few months to be comfortable with sharing her abilities.

Ben and Diego

While Ben was working at the university paper, he met Diego while writing an article about the baseball team. They ended up in a class together the next semester and became pretty close friends. Even though they didn’t have a ton of interests in common, they both loved video games and would compete in Mario Kart competitions together.

Despite becoming close friends and celebrating a few birthdays together, they never told each other about their powers. Diego was worried that people would find out about his powers and assume he was cheating at baseball, meaning that he would be kicked off of the team. Ben was still not fully comfortable with his abilities and was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to keep them under control.

note: I know that it’s not likely 100% realistic that they would all end up going to a college or university because not everyone does. But it is a realistic way for people with different interests and from different countries to interact with each other so that’s what I went with. Idk I just like to think that they would all still be able to be friends without the experience of being in the umbrella academy to bring them together.

[cosmicaces]

it’s. it’s something when the game you’ve sunk almost 1900 hours has one more surprise for you. i’ve replayed the prologue so many times, and, on the game’s final day, only just now have i discovered that you could interact with this poster

i may be a writer, but i’m not necessarily good with words. battleborn has had a significant impact on my life, for better and for worse. while gigantic is my special interest as well as the way i met my partner, battleborn was, well, the start, i suppose you could say.

when this game came out on may 3rd, 2016, i was in a real bad spot. my parents relationship had, well, gone south. the process of divorce began in november 2015, and my dad was using me to vent, spouting horrible, awful things to me, lies, blames, contradictions, those sorts of things. i started off 2016 feeling pretty suicidal because of it, leading into a downspiral of self-deprecation that worsened in april. see, my dad had decided to move us back into our shitty down, back on our shitty street, into a shitty house down the street that was small, cramped, and infested with centipedes. my sisters and i, we didn’t want to move, but we had no choice in the matter.

it was at the start of may, the start of going back into that school i despised that i learned about battleborn. i saw the opening cinematic on twitter, and i was in awe, starstruck. this game was a light in the darkness that had made itself so prominent, and when the game had gone on sale, where others laughed and pointed fingers i was ecstatic because that meant i could get it.

my laptop ran this game on the barest of minimum requirements, but it ran. low graphics? bad frames? it didn’t matter to me so long as i could play. i started with orendi. of the starter characters, i thought she was the most interesting, both visual and kit-wise. i played her until the renegade, where i got stuck. it’s embarrassing to admit, honestly, but because of my failures i unlocked shayne and aurox, who i immediately adored. they were witty, snappy, playful, and i loved the energy they brought. as a matter of fact, i played them throughout the rest of story. there’s a simple reason for that though: i just wanted to play mellka.

mellka stood out to me the moment i saw her in the cinematic. looking back on it now, i realize that it was the first step to me realizing that i wasn’t aromantic, but a lesbian (it wouldn’t be until 2020 that i realize that i was demiromantic as well, but nevermind that). she was really cool, to say the least, and god was she pretty! i wanted to play her immediately, but to unlock her you had to beat the heliophage on normal. this meant that i wanted to get through the story as soon as possible. the moment i completed that final mission, well, the rest was history.

i played mellka nonstop, constantly replaying the story and working on her lore challenges. i had almost finished them...until i ran into a bit of a hurdle. see, to get the last challenge, i needed to play with a ghalt. problem was...i didn’t have any friends with the game, hell, i hardly had friends at all. i was terribly shy, and the thought of having to ask strangers for help was terrifying. desperation to complete the challenge won, though, and that ask for help genuinely changed my life forever.

for the first time, i had sought out a discord server and joined a discord server, joined a place with complete strangers and battled through discomfort and fear and soon found my place, feeling comfortable and excited. i was socializing, and my energy knew no bounds. of course, being an 15-16 yr old with unrealized neurodivergency who had minimal knowledge of talking to people would later come back to bite, and now, haunt me, but social consequences had no thought in my mind at the time. i had done what i thought was impossible for me, and that did lead to a positive change. and, y’know, that energy did lead to some good things.

my memories of battleborn are very fond. some of them are tainted now, but stains can only cover so many feelings. feelings of fun, of bonding, of just...not being alone. i never realized how alone i was. as i was playing through each mission, i was just...catapulted with emotions. so many flashbacks of playing through missions, various divergencies of which characters we were, of who was there, of laughs, jokes, frustrations, all of these things. it made me want to smile. it almost made me burst into tears.

it’s not something i’ve talked about publicly, and i’ll scarcely go into detail about what happened, but...man, it’s hard to admit but it’s also because of battleborn that i’ve developed some pretty bad social trauma. it’s...hard, and weird, y’know? like...i wasn’t able to play the game for months after it happened. looking at the game just wanted to make me cry. that situation left me with...so much anger, sadness, and anxiety. hell, i still get angry about it, thinking about the way i was treated, about how i was the youngest person involved but i tried to make things right. i used to think i didn’t handle it in the right way, but i’m older now, and i can say that yeah, i did my fucking best. i think about those people, of course i still think about them. i can’t help but wonder, do they think about me too? do they have any idea how it’s permanently affected the way i grow with people? that i’m so fearful of being annoying, overstepping a boundary, of being lied to, of asking for honestly and being met with 0 response, given no chance to try and make things better? the answers clearly no. i know i’m the only one who still dwells on it, and i feel like they’d laugh at me for it. if they somehow read this, well...cool. won’t bring me any peace. please don’t ask me about it, either

its...not something that feels right to include with a post that’s essentially a memento, but...it’s important, and it did affect how i felt towards the community. i’d see people refer to the battlefam, but...i never felt apart of it anymore. i became all too aware of how my youth affected being apart of a community with adults, and it felt so...less welcoming after that. it’s a shame, really

thanks to that situation, though, i was able to grow closer with two people, my friends viv (@/brokenandazure) and ghost (ghostbones). viv really helped me come to terms with some of my emotions, and i’ll forever be grateful for that. they helped me be outgoing, helped me feel more confident in playing pvp, and is still an inspiration to me with how they can play games and just...be fine and not get frustrated.

i’ve a bit to say about ghost. so, remember how i said how that energy did lead to some good things? well, ghost is one of those good things. i met them through youtube. there had been a link shared on tumblr to their video about alani, and being the only channel who was posting about battleborn, i gave them a follow. still riding off that socialization high, i found myself commenting on all of their videos. they were enjoyable to watch! they’re funny, kind, and they say some pretty insightful stuff! honestly, seeing them upload anything new was a highlight of my day. battleborn brought us closer, and, y’know, they’re kinda like an older sibling to me. they were there for me in some REALLY rough times, and when i say rough i mean rough, and i’ll forever be grateful for that. sometimes i look at payday 2 and wonder if i should reinstall it, just to have another thing to do with them. we’re still pretty close, and we play apex together! they do have to deal with me being a complete sap towards pin though ehehe <3

speaking of pin, well...honestly, while we met through gig, it really is thanks to battleborn that i met her. battleborn helped me learn how to socialize, and it’s through socializing and wanting to find people to talk to about the same interests is how i met pin. i’m...really appreciative of that. my relationship with pin is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. if you read this, dear, i love you <3

as abrupt as it feels, this post does need to have an ending. replaying through the story felt so...nice. i went from playing it in 2016 with the lowest settings possible to playing it in 2021 with the best settings possible. i never thought id actually be able to see the game in its best form but...i did! and it was like playing it for the first time all over again. sort of. close enough. i think the best part of it was playing through the heliophage without any lag. y’know, i didn’t skip that ending cutscene this time, and, let me tell you, it hit a helluva lot different. i mean, asides from the “game is being permanently shutdown” thing, but the line “may our battle never end”. now, that’s a line that just sticks with you. for the worst thing about my final playthrough, well...it hurt, talking about the dumb shit i’d do. about breaking the map with mellka, of lore squads, of gags, and just...not being able to do anything like that again. it really hurts, but...i’ve found my peace with it. i think. well, it’ll have to do.

in the end, it is because of battleborn that i love, that i know im loved. this game really was something special, and it’s a shame that people never gave it a chance. i’m glad i did. and, in the end, it gave me one final surprise.

thank you, battleborn, for everything <3

[chaoswillfallrpg]

EVAN ROSIER is TWENTY-NINE YEARS OLD and a SOLIDER AND ADVISOR in THE DARK LORD’S ARMY at THE DEATH EATER HEADQUATERS. He looks remarkably like AVAN JOGIA and considers himself aligned with THE DEATH EATERS. He is currently TAKEN. 

→ OVERVIEW:

tw: blood, death, murder

Pessimistic and vengeful, Evan Rosier is someone that many hold with respect and at a great distance. Easily angered, he holds bitterness towards the world, years of heart ache and bubbling inner turmoil only leaving him downcast and resentful. Though, the broken male has not always been filled with sarcasm, hatred and regret. While now his name strikes fear and panic into those that dare say it, once he had a caring heart though very few around him remember it. Born to AXEL and ADELE ROSIER, Evan was cherished from a young age. Loved by his parents, he was overly spoiled with the vast riches their family possessed. Dressed in fine clothes, he was adorned in velvet blacks, crisp shirts and held an air of entitlement that came with being a member of one of The Sacred Twenty Eight. Never left needing or wanting, everything he desired was easily at his fingertips. His youth was spent with his parents and sister ALEXANDRA, inhabiting their home in Kensington London while their father held high office as a high standing judge in Wizengamot. The family was highly respected, both within England and in France where they split their time. With family roots in Paris, the Rosier’s preferred to escape the often heaviness of London to their preferred city. Rooming along the side of the Seine, reveling in the sites and the atmosphere of a place that had always felt more like home. Only apparating to their second home in Lyon after visiting their family tomes. Joint in arm as they recited their family mantra to their ancestors: Si vous ne trouvez pas de chemin, faites-en un. If you can’t find a path make one.  

As the sole male air, Evan was expected to carry on the Rosier line. Compared to many of the sacred twenty eight, the Rosier siblings had a relatively ‘normal’ childhood. Unlike his other counterparts, the regulations he had to meet were reasonable. Stay out of trouble, marry well and produce a male air carry on the family name. Associate with other Pure-Blood’s and hold them in high regard. Above all else, respect the legacy in which you’re a part of; meaning no diluting the bloodline with dirty blood. His parents were traditionalists, while they didn’t hate Half-Bloods or Muggle-Borns as passionately as other purist families, they knew the legacy that they had to uphold and made sure to instill the same ideologies within both of their children. The Rosier family were known as being insular, it was rare to see them at functions and associating with many of the other twenty eight. It wasn’t because they didn’t value their company, rather they were simply more selective with their time. His father digressing his free time was of great value to him and he’d rather spent it with family. Instilling in both Evan and Alexandra that above all, family was the most important thing. Though they parted ways for the majority of the year when it came to school, the siblings remained close. Sending owls to one another from their respected schools and marveling at their differing experiences after their mother insisted on sending Alexandra to Beauxbatons. Their father agreed, only seeing it as a chance for them to interact with their future societal peers and establish strong connections for the family in both England and France. 

Sorted into Slytherin with his cousins BELLATRIX, ANDROMEDA and NARCISSA BLACK, Evan didn’t waste time in befriending like minded Pure-Bloods whom he knew his father would be content with. Namely, he found friends in a group of Slytherin’s orchestrated by his cousin Bella including: RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE, CASTOR WILKES, ASTAROTH SNYDE and EDRICK SELWYN. The group were notoriously feared thanks to his cousin. It wasn’t uncommon to see the Slytherin’s openly mocking Hufflepuffs and throwing a jinx at an unsuspecting Mudblood. His time had been running smoothly, his parents instilling hard work as an desirable trait; the eldest Rosier excelled in his classes. Only fitting for a boy who was fluent in English, French and Latin by the time he was merely eleven. Though as charming as his life had been, the summer between his sixth and seventh year changed Evan forever. Long gone was the once charming and witty male, left in its place a ghost of a boy. Summering in their home in Lyon as they waited for Alexandra to finish her term, Evan had been tending to the white rose bushes that adorned the property with his father. Leaving the scene only for a moment to retrieve a glass of lemonade for the pair, what waited for him upon his return was horrifying. To this day, Evan can only remember the series of events in fragments. The piercing screech of a gunshot, roses stained red, shattered glass and his father’s limp corpse sprawled on the grass. 

A part of Evan was stolen that day, he became bitter, grief consumed him leaving him tormented and riddled with nightmares. His mother was inconsolable and much as Alexandra tried, there was nothing that could ease their mother’s wails of agony at loosing her husband. Evan became absent, reclusive and full of rage. Betrayed by the very justice system Axel Rosier had served in, the Ministry deemed the murder as an accident. Instead ‘compensating’ the family for their loss and silence. Insisting the public knowledge that one of the highest ranking wizards in their society was murdered in his prime by a gang of muggles no less, would cause anarchy. In turn, they did nothing. Amid the heartache, there was one person that became a saving grace to Evan; Bellatrix. Though some who knew the situation - particularly Alexandra - would have deemed her as a heathen or more accurately one of the Erinyes praying on the vulnerable. Bella acted as a catalyst. Igniting an anger within him that only burned brighter with every passing day. From an outside perspective, some would say Bella ruined Evan. Prayed on his grief and used his anguish to boil it into something sinister. But in Evan’s mind, she saved him. Showed him what the world really was and how it could be. How it should be. Bellatrix spoke of a new world, a concept imagined by THE DARK LORD, where muggles knew their place and would be unable to hurt any other wizard again. It was that that captured Evan’s attention. Left betrayed by the Ministry who deemed muggles seemingly more important than one of their own, Evan longed for something more.

Days past and Evan’s mind only grew darker. Troubled by images of hooded figures, sleep was a luxury he never had. Horrors were painted on the back of his eye lids that he dared not close from fear of never escaping. He’d spend hours scrubbing his hands raw as if that would somehow erase the memories of blood from his mind. He grew bitter and sadistic. Love was not something he knew how to possess anymore and he didn’t want it, not if it only led to more pain. Instead he found distractions. Smoking cigarettes, drinking fire whiskey until his throat burned and sleeping with others equally as troubled and damaged as him; both parties only wanted to escape one thing, their heads at night. Granted it wasn’t healthy, but he was far past caring. One particular person that quickly became a part of his distractions was ANTONIN DOLOHOV. Both equally troubled, they came to a mutual agreement to use the other as they saw fit. A distraction without the repercussions of getting attached and over sharing. Though regrettably because of their evenings, Antonin has seen more of his broken heart and his insomnia than anyone else. Evan despises the vulnerability that comes with showing his weakness and torments, but still he can’t help but feel grateful for someone to hold onto at night when everything feels like it is cascading around him.

Though his sister has tired to talk sense into him and ease his grief, nothing seems to comfort his darkened heart. Family is the only thing he holds trust in now, while keeping everyone else at a safe distance in a meek attempt to somehow save guard the remaining pieces of his black heart from being ripped from his chest. Joining The Dark Lord’s army after the introduction from Bellatrix, it gave him a purpose that he so desperately craved and a way to channel the rage that had been boiling in his chest for years. Fighting and screaming as if that could bring upon his own form of justice for his father. Holding onto a raged dream that they could build a world where no wizard would be taken too soon by a mere filthy Muggle, they’d finally know their place. Wilkes became his right hand when it came to fulfilling the Dark Lord’s work. Tormenting Muggles, Mudbloods and Half-Bloods, bringing upon the change his cousin had instilled in him. Though while Evan held his suspicions of members namely SEVERUS SNAPE, the opportunity to finally bring change was upon them and he wasn’t letting the opportunity slip through his fingers. Evan planned on making his own justice as if that could be penance for his father. One day under the new rain of the Dark Lord, he’d finally get what he longed for. Fire would rain and he’d gladly bask in the embers.

→ ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:

Blood Status → Pure-blood

Pronouns → He/Him

Identification → Cis Male 

Sexuality  → Homosexual

Relationship Status → Single

Previous Education →  Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Slytherin)

Family → Axel Rosier (deceased father), Adele Rosier (mother), Alexandra Rosier (sister), Cygnus Black (uncle), Druella Black (aunt), Bellatrix Black (cousin/close friend), Andromeda Black (cousin), Narcissa Black (cousin)

Connections  → Castor Wilkes (best friend), Rodolphus Lestrange (close friend), Astaroth Snyde (close friend), Edrick Selwyn (close friend), Antonin Dolohov (friend/romantic liaison/potential love interest), Lucius Malfoy (friend), Severus Snape (adversary)

Future Information → N/A

EVAN ROSIER IS A LEVEL 8 WIZARD.

[especiallynothim]

For all your byler needs (:

Hey lovely byler community (the Duffers included)! This is just going to link a bunch of people who have good byler theories, fanfictions, fanarts, etc. I will edit the post when I find more good people! (also giving fanfics separately)

Here is Kaypeace21 (tumblr):

 https://kaypeace21.tumblr.com/ She does amazing byler posts (as well as ordinary ST theories) literally everything she says I believe in.

Here is Hawkins School Counselor (tumblr): 

https://hawkinsschoolcounselor.tumblr.com/post/625175996694429697/are-there-any-new-team-ups-and-interactions This person does so much hard work and is so underrated! They do theories, they’re not afraid to say their opinion and are just awsome! (like everyone else mentioned)  

Here’s an amazing fic to wash down some byler theories!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13488132?view_full_work=true The Red Envelope is just amazing! Here’s the description: When Will needs to get his thoughts out of his head, he writes a letter he never intends to send. He addresses it to Mike, and tells him everything.Feeling lighter than he has in weeks and buoyed by the adrenaline of writing it all out, Will acts on an impulse and ends the letter with, "If you’d be willing to give me a chance, I’d be really happy to date you. If you’re open to trying it, please meet me in Castle Byers this Saturday at 2:00pm. I’m not asking for any promises, I’m not asking for forever or anything like that; all I’m asking is that you give me a chance. Come if you want; if not, I completely understand, no hard feelings, and I’ll never, ever mention this again."He forgets all about the letter, and the distinctive red envelope he stowed it in, until he turns around to find it missing. Now, Will has to think of some way to stop Mike from reading that letter - or should he wait at Castle Byers on Saturday at 2:00pm and pray for a miracle? [End description] I haven’t read the entire thing, so please don’t tell spoilers!

Some video theories just to give your mind a break from reading

https://www.youtube.com/user/kaychill15 This is Kaypeace, this is just her YouTube account. (Amazing, just like her tumblr)

Now lets jam to some fun music! (Songs that remind me of byler) 

https://open.spotify.com/track/5U5p472hgeXUKvh0d8RL4K?si=xlHewrjlQIOigrlkNPy9bQ (The song played when we first see Mike and El kissing, there’s a drawing of Will, overlapping Mike’s name with rainbows and hearts, Mike can never surrender trying to shift his feelings toward El.)

https://open.spotify.com/track/1JSTJqkT5qHq8MDJnJbRE1?si=mMTKgcjHTdG5x2nPed6C4w (The song at the Snowball - the words “Every smile you fake” plays while showing Will smiling.)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5WwqdeavrQrbeAMDxGawse?si=FWpRqg11R0CoXEc7Adx1_Q (The song also was played when Mike and El had their make-out sessions, but the drawing of Will, this is from Will’s mixtape to Mike, the peoples sung about have been friends for years, one of them finally thinking that their crush will like them back)

https://open.spotify.com/track/6W7ztLBiRzBN46ZaPAcQ0F?si=OKAlyxUvQgq9lFeOcBWu_A (Dirty Dancing had it right)

https://open.spotify.com/track/3fH4KjXFYMmljxrcGrbPj9?si=OpzUSvO5QSqdy0EiarZ8Cg (Mike better not forget about Will)

https://open.spotify.com/track/39shmbIHICJ2Wxnk1fPSdz?si=wisXmSx0TkaqL-Pkqujhlw How could I not put this song in!?

https://open.spotify.com/track/21uFfgSfkwvDwJA26GbmWl?si=7roRqyMwR3qdVq7ND3uUjw (Played at the Crazy Together scene)

A couple friendships between Robin and Will while you listen to the music!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902016 Here’s the description: Robin and Steve are debating how to flirt with customers, when Robin decides on a bet.Is Will gay? Is he really in love with Mike?Robin's gay intuition is saying yes. Steve doesn’t believe her. Maybe Jonathan knows the answers. 

https://www.wattpad.com/790904512-in-which-robin-buckley-and-william-byers-meet-in Here’s the description: In which Robin and Will meet. I got this idea from seeing some fan art and watching a video titled 'WILL BYERS IS GAY ASF part 2' by 'claudia says hi' check out her channel it is amazing. she should honestly become a writer for stranger things. I just got inspired so this is probably not gonna be how Claudia said it. Also, this probably sucks. ¡DISCLAIMER! I, sadly, don't own Stranger Things or any of the characters. I only own most of this plot. I also do not own the cover. I don't know who does but credit to them.

Some sad byler themed music:

https://open.spotify.com/track/5rEvuW4YhwobKwGL1HPrXA?si=c5i1nGq0T2ioYV6RZyslLg (Mike only knew he liked Will when he moved away)

https://open.spotify.com/track/50I6fV2otuiDmigTtN6WMY?si=oIaoFNXeQgmOsqFXSkuP0Q (Played when reviving Will)

https://open.spotify.com/track/3CRDbSIZ4r5MsZ0YwxuEkn?si=8-Fl_pxXSFKH3pOYd6MZjg (Will wishes he could turn back time to the good old days)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5LpSOWK15E95kkeSiEKEZ8?si=l975VWPXSSeWaGHMlnZ7NA (Played during Will and Mike’s fight)

https://open.spotify.com/track/0AmHen3jIJEUburl5bLkPR?si=24zymUt-Q-yXVsWkCQSAlw (Played when destroying the castle)

https://open.spotify.com/track/1Q3t9fWvHUXKsMmpD2XpUu?si=VS_5Ws7NQTqTLN3uNTQn2w I just imagine this song playing when Will is riding away on his bike to destroy castle byers

https://open.spotify.com/track/1gYMahNjulEXAPhxlm27ek?si=qRG2OI8RQD-V89hnlCE3-w When Will “died”

https://open.spotify.com/track/6tqzOYuE3lrNVPDgtF3MjM?si=ZR41CFLjS4q5lA8z4r8DfA The lovers that went wrong

https://open.spotify.com/track/5DqdesEfbRyOlSS3Tf6c29?si=7PXGaU5sToOLHAB3qTrxyw Mike realises that he’s always liked Will, never El

https://open.spotify.com/track/1Fid2jjqsHViMX6xNH70hE?si=TDwSqIQeTgC13RMKw7LGAg This song just fits so well

https://open.spotify.com/track/4vWeIrIQQrbThS11ogLTmu?si=ox5OUd1qTWGXdtwV8xMOcw “I can’t help but love you”

https://open.spotify.com/track/4xqrdfXkTW4T0RauPLv3WA?si=WH1PDP_EQzCIn1SEjzt_wQ This just fits Will’s POV painfully well.

https://open.spotify.com/track/2n0U2OG5d6TuW5mKx7YrC0?si=D52TOuAqQ6uAMfAy1I9dMQ One-sided byler (This song literally makes me cry)

https://open.spotify.com/track/5XPSElbh3y0S1Jl0ggpwQr?si=vG0_Zz8nRuyegBXnUq3o2A Mike changed when he turned 14

https://open.spotify.com/track/0rRjGruFonCGOt0S5zAJNQ?si=zURFhWuXTcu255UCp1CxUQ “Bye bye baby blue” (Mike when saying bye to the Byers and El at the end of S3) “wish you could see the wicked truth” (He’s gay) “ Curled up in a grip when we were us” (Crazy Together) “I settle for a ghost I never knew, Superparadise I held on to, But I settle for a ghost” (Eleven)

https://open.spotify.com/track/2ihCaVdNZmnHZWt0fvAM7B?si=gm_BgS6JS-KOQGoKthIR0Q “Don’t listen to a word I say” (Will is possessed)

If you have any other songs, theories or fics, please send them to me!

[faerieyoongles]

Fresh Air

Stoner!Jimin x Ghost!Reader

Genera: ANGST, fluff if you squint, (a bittersweet ending)

Summary: Being dead was extremely lonely, there’s nobody to hang out with or talk to. All you really can do is follow around your friends and family and help them try and move on with their lives. You were convinced you’d spend the rest of your days wallowing in depression and self pity, until one day you met Jimin. It’s odd really, you’ve never heard of someone only being able to talk to ghosts when they’re high.

Warnings: mentions of drug use, death/suicide, harsh language

You’re dead.

You’ve been dead for almost three years now. One tragic summer day, you decided to drive yourself to the movies to meet a couple of friends, on the way there, they texted you asking if you’d pick up some snacks to sneak in. You were typing a reply when all of a sudden you found yourself driving on the wrong side of the road. 

You can probably guess what happened next. The doctors say you were killed instantly on impact. Of course your friends never really forgave themselves, even though it was only your fault for texting and driving. Your parents’ relationship when you were alive was already pretty rocky, but once their only child died they just couldn’t even stand to look at each other anymore, so eventually they got divorced.

Needless to say, being dead sucked. You had to watch your loved ones suffer, and there wasn’t really anything you could do about it. Sometimes you’d try and send them messages, whether it was through dreams, songs, whispers, smells, anything you could gather enough energy to do. Most of them just rode it off as a coincidence, but a small few found comfort in your signals. Your dad never really got the hint, your mom however did and she still talks to you every night, even though you can’t really reply back.

After three years, your friends and family have finally started moving on with their lives. Doesn’t mean they’ve forgotten about you, most of them still visit your grave now and then, but they’re all doing better now. You don’t feel the need to watch over them as much anymore, which to you is a relief. It’s nice to not have to worry about them all the time, but now you’re not really sure what to do. The after-life is pretty boring. There’s no one to hang out with or talk to, you can’t watch tv unless someone who’s alive turns it on (plus you never get to pick the channels anyways), you can’t ride roller coasters, can’t shop or spend money, can’t swim, can’t read books, nothing. All you really can do is watch the world turn around you and try to live your (after) life through the lives of others. Every once in a while you’d meet another spirit, and you’ve made a few friends, but most of them are too preoccupied with watching over families of their own. It’s not like you have a phone to keep in touch with them either.

In all honesty, you thought you were gonna be alone forever, but eventually all that changed for you.

As mentioned before, your loved ones were healing much better now, so every once in a while you’d wander off to do some exploring. Your favorite thing to do was to walk down the street and follow random people around, see what their lives are like.

It was mid-January in the big city of Seoul, and you’ve opted to follow around this old lady with a basket of bread. She was throwing it on the ground to feed the pigeons, which was a sweet aesthetic compared to the hostile civilian life that surrounded the area. You were trying your best to direct the pigeons towards her. Apparently, animals can sense spirits a lot better than humans can.

“Come on, little guys” you said in frustration “walk over, come on.” Pigeons are difficult birds to deal with, you realized. It was worth it though, the old lady seemed satisfied with the cluster of pigeons gathered around her.

You were in the midst of chasing down a stray pigeon who was running off in the other direction, when all of a sudden you hear a loud “Oof!” You look over to find someone had run into and almost knocked over the old lady. Luckily, she was fine, but the bastard had just taken off in the other direction running. You ran back over to make sure she was okay, not that you could really do much to help anyways.

“Watch it!” the old lady croaked at the young man who pushed into her. He didn’t stop running though, it must have not concerned him. Just a few seconds later, another young man came running past, it looked like he was chasing after the first guy. You decide to run and follow him. Maybe if you were strong enough to, you could give them a scare or something. After three years you’re still not the best at using your limited energy to interact with the outside world, but maybe you could give it a shot.

You started running after the two boys. Being dead meant you were never really tired, you could probably chase after them for hours and you’d be completely fine, so needless to say, catching up with them wasn’t much of a problem.

The boys chased after each other for three blocks. By the looks of it, the boy being chased had a bag in his hands, so naturally you assumed the second boy had something stolen from him and he was desperate to get it back.

“Jeon!” The second boy yelled. “I swear to god, I’ll kill you!” The Jeon boy ignored him and kept running.

Impressively, they ran for quite some time. The boy named Jeon eventually cornered himself in an alleyway, much to his misfortune. This allowed you and the second boy to finally catch up.

“Give me my money, Jungkook.” The second boy threatened. “You said you’d have it, so where is it.”

“I don’t got it, okay?” Jungkook pleaded. “But I’ll get it to you.”

“That’s what you said last time.” He was clearly angry and annoyed.

“Awe, come on, Hyung!” Jungkook smiled, trying to bring the mood down. “You honestly believe I’d lie to you.”

“You did lie to me! You lied to me last time I tried to sell to you and you lied to me today! I just had to chase you for three fuckin’ blocks because you tried to steal from me!”

Jungkook kept his smile on his face. He was clearly younger than the other boy, but didn’t seem much threatened by him. From what you could gather, the boys knew each other well.

“Relax, Jimin hyung. It’s not a big deal.”

“I swear to god I could kill you right now!” The boy, you now know is named Jimin, tried to swing at Jungkook, but he easily dodged it with a smirk.

“Okay fine.” he emphasizes. “Here’s your weed then. I don’t want it anyways.” Jungkook throws Jimin the bag, Jimin catches it and puts it in his pocket.

“You still owe me. You still haven’t paid me for the last time, or the time before that, or before that, or-” Jimin was cut off

“Okay! Yeah, I get it. How much do I owe you?”

“About a thousand.” Jimin stated.

“A thousand!? Nuh-uh, no way. There’s no way I owe you a thousand.” He said, shaking his head. “It’s probably about half of that!.”

“I keep tabs, Kook.” Jimin pulls out a little book with a list of clients and the money he made. He brings the book over to show Jungkook. “See, you haven’t paid me for over a year. I let it go for a while, but I’m gonna need that money eventually, and I’m not giving you anymore ‘til I get it.”

Jungkook huffs “Fine, whatever.” He then storms out of the alleyway, clearly annoyed at his friend.

“And don’t even try getting some from Yoongi hyung. I already told him not to give you any.” Jimin shouts back. Jungkook just shoots him the middle finger and he disappears around the corner. “Sheesh, that kid.” Jimin says to himself, unaware you’re standing next to him.

You found yourself observing him. His face seemed innocent and slightly feminine, but his eyes were low and angry. He wore a black sweatshirt and ripped jeans. His boots were worn and dirty and his laces had been removed. He had a whole story draped across him, and you found yourself desperate to read it. Some things about him were obvious, like the fact he dealt weed and smoked a shit ton of it. You could smell it on him from a mile away. He didn’t have much money, but he did make a decent amount from selling drugs. His hair was blonde and messy, probably from running three blocks. He was fit, so maybe he played sports or worked out?

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Jimin pulled out his phone and started talking to someone. 

“Hello? Hyung? Yeah, he didn’t have the money. Again. Yes, I got it back. Alright. Yeah, I know. I’m coming back now, then. Okay.” He hung up the phone and started to make his way out of the alley and down the street. Before you could stop yourself, you started following him. It’s not like you had anything better to do anyways.

------------------------------

You followed Jimin for half a block until you reached his small apartment. It was a beaten up building in the middle of Seoul. You recall your parents telling you to stay away from that area when you turned 18 and finally started driving. It wasn’t the most glamorous of places, but Jimin looked pretty comfortable with his surroundings. The atmosphere suited him, he walked the streets like he’s walked them for years.

When reaching the building, Jimin opened the door wide enough so luckily you could slip in too. You trailed behind him as he made his way up the withered staircase and ended his journey on the third floor. He stopped at a door labeled 3C, took out a key and slipped it into the lock. After unlocking the door and making his way inside, he was greeted by two older boys who you assumed were his roommates.

“Jiiimmiinnnn!!” one of the boys shouted. Much like Jimin, he had a soft feminine face that looked much too innocent for the life he was living. His hair was bright red and his heart shaped smile framed his teeth perfectly. “I missed you~!” The boy said lazily. From the musty smell in the air, you could clearly tell that both the boys sitting on the couch were high out of their minds. “Did you bring anything to eat?”

“No, sorry” Jimin replied, placing his keys on the kitchen counter. “Do we not have any food here?”

“None that he wants to eat.” Replied the other boy. The second roommate was taller than the other two boys. His skin and hair was the color of honeycomb giving him a fiery tan. He slouched on the couch in a leather jacket and a blunt in his hand.

“I’ve said before that Doritos make my stomach hurt.” Said the first roommate.

“Everything makes your stomach hurt, Hoseok.” said the second roommate.

Jimin was searching the cabinets for something to eat, he eventually discovered a box of instant mac and cheese.

“Namjoon hyung, is this yours?” Jimin asked the second roommate. Namjoon just shook his head. Jimin then made his way to a lower cabinet and pulled out a pot to fill with water.

You realized pretty quickly Jimin was making himself food for his eventual case of the munchies. You knew you didn’t want to wait around and watch him get high, so you did some exploring. The kitchen and the living room were connected. On the right side of the living room was a hallway that led to three bedrooms and one bathroom. It was a small apartment, and it was clear none of the boys made the effort to keep it clean. There were clothes and dirty dishes everywhere. Lots of wrappers from food (and condoms but you chose to ignore those) and empty bottles. You found a few bags that had previously held weed in it. Underneath the cabinet in the bathroom was where you found their merchandise. There were two small plants with a purple light hanging above it. You didn’t know much about growing marijuana but you assumed that that’s exactly what its purpose was. You explored the three bedrooms and concluded that the last room on the left was Jimin’s. It was a small room with a wooden bed frame, a wooden desk, and a wooden bureau. All the furniture looked like it came from the same place, or maybe it was here when he moved in. Out of all three of the rooms, Jimin’s room was the cleanest (although it still wasn’t very clean). You noticed a picture frame on one of the back corners of his desk. It had a picture of him and a little boy, both smiling. He looked vastly different in the photo than he did in real life. His hair was black and his clothes were brightly colored. His face was still soft but he didn’t have the same angry eyes he had now. His cheeks were rosy, as well as the young boy’s next to him. You stared at the picture for a while. You concluded that Jimin was a very handsome boy, even more handsome when he was happy. By comparison to the weed induced Jimin that sat in living devouring a box of Mac and Cheese, the Jimin now was not nearly as happy as the Jimin in the photograph.

You made your way back to the living room after snooping around the strangers apartment. All three of the boys had blunts in their hands and smoke spilling from their lips. The TV was now on, and they were all focused on watching an Iron Man movie. You sat on the armchair that was placed next to the couch, deciding that you too would watch the movie. You didn’t find much interest in the film though, your eyes kept moving back to Jimin, watching him and his movements. After a while, he decided he wasn’t all that interested in the movie either.

“I’m gonna go take a nap.” He said, placing his dirty bowl on the coffee table. The two other boys just hummed in acknowledgment. You followed him down the hallway to his bedroom, there he shut his door behind him and sat on the floor. Leaning up against his bed, he just stared up at his ceiling. You sat down on the chair at his desk.

Honestly, following Jimin around was pretty boring. The day was getting late and you knew your mom would start saying goodnight to you soon, so you thought maybe now would be a good time to make your way home.

“Whoa! You scared the shit outta me!” Jimin yelled all of a sudden, scaring you in the process. You looked at him to see what the problem was. To your surprise, he was staring straight at you, but there was no way he was talking to you. You’re dead, and the only people who ever talk to you are other spirits, mediums, and sometimes animals, maybe children if they’re pretty intuitive. You looked behind you to see if maybe someone had walked in, but there was no one there. You looked back at Jimin confused. He was still staring at you. “Did Namjoon Hyung bring you here?” He asked. “He’s always bringing girls home but never telling them to leave.” he chuckled. You, however, were still very confused. Was he really talking to you?

“Uh?” Was all you could say. This was your first time having an actual conversation with a living person since you died. Jimin just kept looking at you, waiting for a response. “No, I just- um..” How would you even go about telling him your a ghost and you followed him home because the after life is boring as fuck.

“Was it Hobi then?” He asked. “I swear to god, I need to get my own place.”

“No, I came here on my own.” You replied, hesitantly. Your social skills have clearly declined in the past three years.

“Oh, well are you here to buy then?” He asked. “‘Cause I have a bag ready that was supposed to go to another client.” At this point you were certain he was talking to you, and you started freaking out a little bit. How come he could see you now but he couldn’t before? Could he see you before but just chose not to acknowledge you?

“Um no…” You said “I’m not exactly… uh.. alive, I guess.”

“Ha!” Jimin laughed “Aren’t we all.”

“No, I mean-” You cut yourself off with a huff. It was pointless trying to explain and you should probably just leave, but you hadn’t had a human interaction in so long that you just could help but try and see where this conversation would go. “I don’t know how to explain.”

“Okay?” Jimin questioned. You wondered why he didn’t just kick you out. You were a stranger just chilling in his bedroom and he seemed to have no problem with it. You figured he’s pretty used to being high around random people. He just kept staring at you, it made you feel like you were under his microscope. You weren’t sure how to act, what to say, what to do, so you kinda just sat there. “You’re pretty cute.” He said outta nowhere. “What’s your name?”

“Um, Y/N” you spoke quietly. You had your hands in your lap and were playing with your fingers. Jimin averted his eyes down and watched your fingers squirm with each other.

“Hi, Y/N. I’m Jimin.”

“Hi, Jimin.” You said back. It got silent for a moment. The situation you got yourself in was very awkward indeed.

“I’m dead.” You said out of the blue. Maybe if you just said it, ripped it off like a band-aid then it wouldn’t be so painful trying to spill it out.

“Dead?” He asked. He still wasn’t clearly understanding who and what he was talking to.

“Yes.” You confirmed. “As in, like, I was living once, and now I’m not.” You were still twirling your fingers together, nervous how he’d handle that information, if he could even understand what you were trying to tell him.

“Oh, that’s cool.” Jimin said. He obviously wasn’t comprehending what you were telling him, but at least you tried. 

Just then, Hoseok came bursting in the room. “Jimin!” He said, “Me and Namjoon are going to go g-” He cut himself off with a little laugh “Why are you sitting alone in the dark?”

“Alone?” Jimin asked. He looked back at you with a confused look on his face. “Did you not see Y/N?” He then pointed to you, as if Hoseok was the one that was tripping balls. You looked at Hoseok, and he looked over to the chair you were sitting on.

Hoseok let out a laugh. “Dude, I think you’ve been smoking too much of that shit.” he pointed to the blunt in Jimin’s hand. “Anyways, Me and Namjoon are going to Yoongi and Jin’s place, they’re having like a small party thing. You wanna come?” Jimin was still shocked and confused as to why Hoseok couldn’t see you. Was what you had said really true? But there’s no way, it’s not like ghosts were actually a thing, were they?

Jimin took a moment to respond. “Uh, n-no I’m okay. I’m still pretty tired.”

“Are you getting sick?” Hoseok asked, Jimin's face was getting whiter and whiter the more he stared at you. “Just get some sleep and you’ll probably feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah, I will.” Jimin said.

“Okay, well, see you later then.” And with that, Hoseok closed Jimin’s door and left.

The air in the room was thicker now that it was just you and Jimin again. Jimin was just staring at the wall with wide eyes and a pale face. You figured it was probably best to let him speak first.

Jimin then cleared his throat. “So, you’re dead.” He said slowly.

“I’m dead.” You confirmed with a head nod.

“How?” He asked.

“Well, I won’t bore you with the details, but don’t text and drive.” You chuckled. Jimin didn’t chuckle back. “Uh.. Three years ago I was on my way to see a movie with some friends and they texted me when I was about three blocks away. I’m kind of an idiot and paid more attention to my phone than I did to the road. Next thing I knew I was in the left lane and there was a giant storage truck coming my way.”

“Oh, that sucks.” He said, still staring at the wall, not daring to look at you anymore.

“Yeah, it does.” You said.

“Did it hurt?” He asked.

“Um.. probably. I don’t remember much of the dying part. All I remember is being scared that a truck was coming my way, next thing I knew I was standing over my body watching myself bleed out on the side of the road.” Retelling your death never got easier for you, the whole thing was pretty traumatic. You waited for Jimin to respond, but like before he just kept staring at the wall. 

“That’s rough.” He said. He finally looked at you. He was lightening up a bit, he didn’t look as pale as before but he still looked pretty freaked out from the whole thing. It probably would’ve been better if you had just left when you wanted to. “How-” He cleared his throat “ah- why are you here now? I mean- here in my apartment.”

“Oh,” You figured it probably be fair to explain why you were creepily sitting in his room without his consent. “I’m pretty bored, most of the time. I saw you chasing that boy down the street earlier today and I figured, you know, I’ve got nothing better to do.” You awkwardly chuckled. You realized you basically just told him you’ve been stalking him for most of the day for absolutely no reason other than you had nothing else to do. “I mean, it’s kind of a thing I do. It’s not like I can go out and do anything else, you know. Being dead isn’t exactly exciting.”

“I see.” He replied. The moment went dull and neither of you knew what to say. You figured he was still trying to comprehend the whole ghost thing, and you didn’t know what to do to make him feel better about it. This is the first time a living person has seen you entirely, so you were a little uneducated on how to approach the situation. Jimin just kept staring at that wall, like it was the most interesting thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

The day was starting to turn to night, and you knew this situation was never gonna get any better. Besides, your mother was waiting for you. You abruptly sat up to leave.

“Where’re you going?” Jimin asked, finally turning his head to look at you.

“Um, to see my mom.” You replied. “She usually talks to me before she goes to bed, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Oh,” He said. Was he really upset you were leaving? He didn’t look thrilled to have you there in the first place. “Will you be back?” You were confused. Does he want you to stay?

“Uh, Maybe?” You said. “If that’s what you want.” Jimin nodded his head.

“I’ve never met a ghost before.” He chuckled. “Is it wrong to be curious?”

“No, not at all.” You stated. “You just looked a little freaked out.”

“Oh, I am. But that’s what makes this fun.” He laughed. At this moment you concluded you liked Jimin. He was soft and quiet, but weird in an intriguing way, plus you now had a friend to talk to. You figured visiting Jimin on a daily basis wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Okay then.” You said. “I’ll be back tomorrow.” And with that, you left.

--------------------

The next day seemed to come slower than you wished it did. When you arrived at your old house the night before, you listened to your mother talk to you for about half an hour. 

She told you about her new boyfriend named Atticus. He was a pharmacist who your mom met about a year ago. You liked Atticus. Every once in a while he would go with your mom to help her place flowers around your grave. You once followed them around on one of their dates. He really was a sweetheart. You wished you could've seen them together when you were alive, you knew you would’ve liked him then too. In all honesty, the main reason you liked Atticus so much is because he’s been a huge help in helping your mom move on with her life. It gives you comfort knowing your mom is being taken care of by someone who truly appreciates her.

Other than talking about Atticus, your mom mentioned something about finding an old box of yours. There were old photos, old clothes, shoes, toys, basically anything your mom couldn’t find herself to throw away. She said that in the box she found a letter that you wrote to your dad on his 50th birthday. It was basically telling him how much you loved him and how happy you are to have him in your life. She said that she wants to mail it to him, but she doesn’t know where your father moved to.

 After your death and after the divorce, your dad kinda went MIA. Even you don’t know where he ended up. You went to visit him one day in the apartment he rented nearby and he just wasn't there anymore. Apparently, your mom didn’t know where to find him either. It worried you, not knowing where your dad ended up. You didn’t even know how to look for him either, it’s not like ghosts can use the internet.

After your mom went to sleep, you searched the house for the letter she was telling you about. You found it lying on the living room coffee table, along with the rest of the box she mentioned. Even if you could find your dad’s address, how would you let your mom know where he lived? How could you possibly get someone from the outside world to deliver this letter for you?

The next morning, you went to the same neighborhood Jimin lived in. You promised him you would go and see him again, but he was also stoned so you wondered if he even remembered the conversation from the night before. Either way, it was better than doing nothing.

Surprisingly, you remembered where his apartment building was. You were kinda proud of yourself for being able to navigate yourself through an unfamiliar area. When approaching the building, you found Jimin sitting on the steps with his hood up and his earbuds in.

“Hello again!” You said enthusiastically. He gave no response though, he just kept staring off into the distance. Was he not able to see you? You waved your hand in front of his face to get his attention, but he looked right through you as if you weren’t there. “Great.” You said melodramatically. You were invisible again. Basically this whole trip was pointless ‘cause there’s no way you can interact with him now. If Jimin couldn’t see you now, then how come he could see you the night before? Was it because he was high? You haven’t heard of someone only being about to see ghosts when they’re intoxicated, but it seemed like that was the only explanation.

Jimin checked his wrist watch. He must have been meeting someone, because after he put his wrist down he got up and started walking. You decided you’d follow him. Jimin walked about a block before he got to an alleyway. What was with this kid and alleyways? Is that the only place he could do his deals? When approaching the alleyway, there were two boys waiting there for him. One of the boys you recognized from before, Jungkook. The other boy looked unfamiliar to you, but upon observing him he looked about the same age as Jimin.

“Taehyung!” Jimin shouted with a smile on his face, taking his earbuds out. You guessed that Jimin and Taehyung must have been close since they both looked so happy to see each other. “It’s been too fucking long!” Jimin hurriedly approached Taehyung and Taehyung wasted no time in wrapping his arms around him and picking him up.

“I missed you!” Taehyung laughed into Jimin’s shoulder. It was endearing watching the two boys be reunited. You found yourself laughing along with them.

“Sheesh, do y'all need a room or something.” Jungkook sneared. “There’s a motel around the block ya know.”

“Oh fuck off.” Jimin said. The two boys released each other. “You’re just mad I won’t sell to you anymore.” Jungkook just huffed in annoyance.

“Speaking of.” Said Taehyung. “I’ve got about one fifty on me, is that enough?”

“Yeah, that should be good.” Jimin said. He pulled out a plastic bag from his pocket and in return Taehyung gave him the money.

“Thanks.” Said Taehyung. Jungkook started walking over from the spot he had previously been residing in. He pulled a wad of cash out from his pocket.

“Here.” He said sternly, holding out the money. “That’s three hundred.”

“Oh wonderful!” Jimin said sarcastically. “Only 7 more to go!”

“You’re lucky I even have any money at all. I’m already so behind on my rent.”

“Oh, poor baby.” Jimin teased while tossing the hair of the younger one. Taehyung seemed to find Jimin teasing hilarious.

“Oh, fuck off” Jungkook spat. Neither of the boys seemed to take Jungkook seriously.

“Remember when Jungkook was little and actually nice to us?” said Taehyung.

“Good times. What ever happened to you, Kook?” Jimin teased.

“Drugs.” Taehyung chuckled heavily. It suddenly got quiet between the three of them. It seemed that underneath the thin layer of jokes the boys were tossing around, lay the undeniable and cold truth. Upon observing their body language and their conversation, you figured Jimin must have known these boys since childhood.

“Yeah.” Jimin sighed “That’s what happened to us all. You take care of him though.” He lightly hit Taehyung's shoulder to show he was directing his statement toward him. “I feel like I don’t see him enough to check up on him.”

“I’m not a baby.” Jungkook sneered. “I don’t need to be checked up on.”

Taehyung just laughed at the youngest’s remarks. “Yeah, I will.” It was quiet between the three of them again. None of them knew how, but they all suddenly got really nostalgic really quick. “We better get going, Kook. If we’re late again Seokjin hyung is gonna flip.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook agreed.

“You should swing by the garage sometime.” Taehyung said to Jimin. “We all miss you.”

“I will.” Jimin said. “I’ve just been busy lately, but I’ll find the time. Isn’t it Yoongi hyung’s birthday next week?” The two other boys nodded. “I’ll be around that day then.”

“Can’t wait!” Taehyung exclaimed.

The boys left the alleyway and Jimin made his way back to the apartment. You, of course, followed close behind him. You followed him until he was back in his apartment and sitting on the couch. Namjoon and Hoseok must have been out because it was just Jimin sitting alone, smoking and watching TV. You wondered if he had any other hobbies.

After about half an hour of you watching the show Jimin put on, you heard a “You’re back!” come from the spot Jimin sat in. You looked over at him to find he finally noticed your presence.

“Hello again.” You said back.

“I missed you.” Jimin smiled.

“Missed me?” You asked. Jimin nodded his head.

“I had some questions I wanted to ask you. If that’s alright with you?”

“Mhmm” You hummed in approval. “Ask away.”

“Okay.” he started. “What’s it like being dead?”

“Well, it's extremely boring. Sometimes it’s frustrating because you don’t have any control over what goes on in the outside world.”

Jimin nodded. “Makes sense.” He lifted his arm to bring the blunt to his lips. He inhaled and paused for a moment, like he was thinking. As he breathed out, he asked “What happens when we die? Is there like a heaven and hell kinda system? Like do we go somewhere first and then decide if we want to walk around and be a ghost?” Geez, this kid’s got a lot of questions.

“Uh, I honestly don’t know. It’s not like I was given a ‘How To Be Dead, For Dummies’ book. If there is a heaven -or a heaven like place- then I have no idea how to get into it.”

“Well maybe you have some unfinished business you have to complete first?”

You chuckled “Of course I have unfinished business. I died at the age of 20, nobody plans on dying that young.” Sitting up a little, you sighed. “I just have no idea what it is I need to finish. Even if I did know, I’m not very good at manifesting energy to manipulate the living world.”

Jimin thinks for a second, taking in another puff “Being dead sounds like it…. sucks, to be honest.”

You laugh. “Yeah, it does.”

He held his breath again, but this time without the smoke filled in his mouth. He looks you up and down, clearly thinking about something. For some reason, you stare back. “I want to help you.” He says, “Whatever it is that you never got to finish, I want to help you finish it.”

You stop breathing for a second. After three years all you’ve wanted was help. Wandering alone in a world where you have no answer to anything is frightening. “That’s sweet, but I already told you, I don’t even know what my unfinished business even is.” You then suddenly remember the letter from the night before. You must have gasped a little because Jimin’s face lights up along with your own.

“What?” He asked.

“Actually, there may be something you can help me with.” You say. “I can’t find my dad.”

Jimin chuckles. “Yeah, join the party.”

“No, I mean,” You huff out a laugh. You guessed before that Jimin came from a broken home. He just confirmed your suspicions. “After I died, I lost track of where he went. I went to visit his apartment one day and he just wasn’t there anymore. My mom found an old letter I wrote to him when I was 16 and I want to get it to him.”

“And you think that will help with your unfinished business?”

“I mean, everyone else from my life has gotten better. I don’t have to worry about them anymore. But my dad……. I guess I just want to make sure he’s okay. I don’t know how I could move on with at least seeing him again.”

Jimin nods his head. “Yeah, alright. I’ll help you.”

“Thank you!” You squeal, jumping out of the seat you were sitting in. Jimin chuckles at your reaction. “I don’t know how I’m gonna repay you.”

“Don’t sweat it.” He dismisses. “It’s not like I’ve got anything better to do.”

“I thought you said you were busy though?” You questioned. He looked at you confused.

“What?”

“When you were talking to those boys earlier, you said you’ve been too busy to be able to see them.”

Jimin laughed. “How long have you been following me around, Y/N?” You blushed in embarrassment. Did it make him uncomfortable that you’ve just been following him around without him knowing?

“Uh, I found you sitting on the steps earlier. I tried to say hi, but you didn’t see me.”

“Oh.” Jimin said, shocked. “Yeah I didn’t. Sorry.”

“Don’t be. Most people don’t see me.” You awkwardly chuckled. “I figured it was because you were sober.”

He chuckles at your comment “You think I’m some sort of stoner psychic.” Jimin smirked. “Huh” he raises his hand to his mouth again to take another puff.

“I’ve never heard of someone only being able to interact with spirits when they’re high, but I’ve definitely seen weirder things.” You say.

“I’ve always been able to see weird things when I’m high. I usually just got made fun of for it. Plus, everybody sees bizarre things when they’re high so I just thought it was normal”

“Weird things?” You asked. “Like what? What do you usually see”

“Like random people that weren’t actually there. Or faces that show up out of nowhere. Anytime I mentioned it my friends would just tell me I smoked too much.” He shrugged.

“Huh. Weird.” You said.

“Indeed.” He confirmed. He took what was left of his blunt and put it out in a little ash tray that sat in the center of the coffee table. He wiggled the top around for a few seconds while smoke escaped through the sides, he then finally lay the stick down in the center of the tray. “Anyways, about your dad. I got a buddy who’s really good at tracking people down.” He looked at you. “It’s not exactly legal though.”

You shrugged “I’m dead, it’s not like I can get in trouble for it. I’m cool with it if you are.”

“Alright then.” Jimin got up from the couch. “Follow me then.” He then led you to the front door and out of the apartment.

--------------------

You followed Jimin downtown, about an half an hour walk from his apartment. You expressed your concerns about him walking around the city being as high as he was. He told you that half the people that lived in this area were intoxicated with much more dangerous drugs, and that he does it all the time. You scolded him for that last part as well. He must have not taken you seriously, ‘cause after your five minute rant about how dangerous it all was, he just called you adorable. You kept nagging him about it the whole walk and he just kept smiling at you. He really did have a nice smile.

Eventually, you both reached an auto-shop labeled “Min and Kim Auto Repair”.

“These are some old buddies of mine.” Jimin said to you. “If they can’t find your dad then nobody can.”

“Really?” You laughed. “A car shop?”

“It’s a front.” Jimin said. “Or it was, until Yoongi and Jin found out they both enjoyed fixing cars more than they did selling drugs.”

“I see.” You said. You followed him inside. 

The shop was small, but it was well kept and obviously the owners put a lot of effort into it. Jimin led you to a small office in the back corner. He must have come here a lot, none of the employees seemed to question his presence or stop him from going into a room that was clearly meant for employees only. Jimin opened the door, allowing you to go in before him.

The room he brought you to was a break room. It had a small kitchen area with a fridge, microwave, a diry counter, and a sink that looked like it didn’t work anymore. There was a couch, clearly damaged but held together with duct tape.There were lockers on one side of the wall and tables on the other. Out of the whole shop, this room looked like it was cleaned the least.

“Chimmy!” Said a man walking in from one of the doors on the opposite side of the room. He looked older than Jimin did, and a lot healthier too. He was very handsome. Broad shoulders and a lean torso. You found yourself staring a little too hard. Jimin seemed to notice too.

“Drool much?” He whispered to you. You just blushed, embarrassed you got caught staring at his friend.

“I missed you, Chim!” The man reached over to where Jimin stood and pulled him in for a hug.

“I told you not to call me that.” Jimin said, embarrassed into the man’s shoulder. You’d be lying if you said we weren’t a little jealous he got to feel his shoulders and you didn’t. It was moments like these when being dead really sucked balls. 

“You haven’t been here in weeks.” Said the man. Now that he was closer to you, you got a better look at him. He had a name embroidered into his jacket that read ‘Seokjin’.

“I’m sorry, hyung. I’ve just been busy.” Jimin replied. You knew now that he was lying, but you couldn’t help but wonder what his real reason was. “I’ll try and come more often.”

“You better.” Said Seokjin.

“I actually need your help with something.” Jimin said, hesitantly. “And I know it’s a lot to ask, but it’s important.”

Seokjin’s face dropped and he sighed. “I thought I told you I didn’t want to be involved in your messes anymore.”

“I know, but it’s super important and I swear this is the last time I’ll ask.”

Seokjin sighed again. “Alright, but only because I’m happy to see you again. If I do this though, you have to promise you’ll be by more often.”

“I swear.”

“Alright, what do you need?”

Jimin glanced over at you. “There’s a man I need to find.”

“What for?”

“Uh.” Jimin looked over at you again. “He owes me money. It’s not a lot though, but ya know, I’d still like to get it.”

Seokjin eyed him suspiciously. “How much?” he asked.

“Uh, about two fifty.”

He laughed. “Alright then. What’s his name?”

Jimin looked back over at you. “Robert (L/N)” You told him.

“Robert (L/N)” He said to the older man.

Seokjin took out a pad of paper from his pocket, and a pen from behind his ear. “Okay,” He said as he wrote the name down. “I’ll look into it for you, Chim.” Jimin rolled his eyes at the nickname. “Do you know his last place of address?”

“483 Walloway Street. It’s about 45 minutes from here.” You said. Jimin repeated the information and Seokjin wrote it down.

“I’ll call you if something comes up.” Seokjin said. “I got to get back to work though, but promise I’ll see you again soon?”

“Yes hyung, I promise.” Jimin said. The two boys hugged goodbye and Seokjin went back to the room he first emerged from. You and Jimin both headed back the way you came, back to his apartment.

The walk back to Jimin’s was quieter than the walk before. You figured it was a good time for you to finally ask some questions, since he already had his turn.

“Why did you lie?” You asked. Jimin’s head shot in your direction.

“What?”

“Everytime one of the boys asks you why you don’t visit them as often anymore, you say it’s because you’re busy. You told me earlier that you basically do nothing, so which is it? Are you busy or do you do nothing all the time?” You say. Jimin takes a second to respond.

“I’m never really doing anything, to be honest. Although, I’m constantly exhausted, so it feels like I’m always busy. I don’t know if that makes any sense.” He says.

“No, I get it” You say. “I feel like that sometimes too. I’m dead so I technically don't get tired, but the constant dread and worrying about watching over everybody makes me feel so drained.”

He pauses for a moment and stares out into the distance. “I don’t have anybody to watch over though, I just feel like I’m floating through time and space. That alone feels like the most exhausting thing in the world.”

You hum in agreement. “Nobody could see me until now, ya know. You’ve got your friends to check up on you. I'm constantly alone.”

He looks over at you and finds that you’re already staring at him. You get startled by the sudden eye contact and quickly advert your eyes to the sidewalk in front of you. “I like you, Spirit.” He says suddenly.

“Spirit?” You question.

“That’s what you are, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah..” He chuckles at your sudden shyness.

“It’s true. I like you, Spirit.” He repeats.

“Why?” You jokingly ask.

 He inhales sharply “You feel like a breath of fresh air. Like I could finally start breathing again. Most of the time I just feel alone” You were starting to feel bad for him, not that you didn’t already. After following him around for two days, you could tell he has a lot of friends, so why did he feel so lonely?

“You don’t like your friends?” You ask.

“I do.” He says, “but they aren’t the same as they used to be. I’m not the same as I used to be, but that’s just life.”

“Mhm…” You hum, “like they’ve all moved on without you, and all you can do is watch them grow older.” Jimin nods. You’ve felt that same pain too. You’d be lying if you said watching your family and friends go on without you didn’t hurt a little bit. You wanted them to be happy, of course, but it stung to know that things won’t ever be the same for you. There’s no moving on for you, no growing old, no new chapter. You’re stuck being 20 forever.

“I feel like I’m dead sometimes, like I’m just the shell of a man who once was alive.” Jimin says.

“I know the feeling.” You chuckle a bit, since that’s literally exactly what you are. “So that’s why you don’t see them as much anymore?” You question.

He nods “It's exhausting trying to pretend like I’m still the same person I once was, when I’m not. And It’s even more exhausting pretending like I'm okay with the fact that they’re not the same people they once were.” Jimin’s voice has gotten a lot softer. He’s looking down at his boots and he kicks little pebbles beneath his feet. You realize now that you had a lot more in common with Jimin than you thought you did.

“Who was that boy?” You ask. Jimin looks at you, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “On your desk, there’s a picture of you and a little boy.”

“Ah.” His head tilts up in clarity. “That’s Jungkook.”

“That’s Jungkook?” You say shocked. “It looked nothing like him.”

He chuckles. “Yeah I know. That’s what I mean.” Jimin looks back at you to look you in the eyes. “We’ve all changed. Probably Kook the most out of all of us. That kid started taking drugs for fun, then he suddenly didn’t know how to stop.” He sighs. “I can’t blame him though, it’s not like I haven’t met the same fate. The only thing is, he’s doing shit he knows nothing about. Dealing with drugs he doesn’t even know how to use properly. I swear that kids gonna get himself killed.”

“Why don’t you help him then? Like take him to a rehab facility?”

Jimin’s face falls and he sighs once more. “Who do you think gave him the drugs in the first place? If Jungkook goes to rehab then we all get caught for dealing, Jungkook included.”

“Oh.” Your head hung as well. It really was a messy situation. You didn’t know what to say anymore. “I’m sorry.” Jimin just nods, and you know he’s sorry too. 

His face then lightens up and he stops walking in the middle of the sidewalk. 

“What?” You ask. Jimin doesn’t respond. He then takes a sharp right turn into one of the shops lining the sidewalk.

“Follow me.” He says enthusiastically. Naturally, you follow him.

He leads you into a tiny shop filled with crystals, orbs, old books, and other things that you’re not even sure what they’re for.

“Where are we?” You ask. He goes to answer you, but is shortly interrupted. 

“Welcome visitors!” Shouts a voice from behind where you were standing. You and Jimin both jump and turn around. An older woman emerges from a curtain draped under a doorway. She dressed in a long skirt and flowy boho shirt. Her necklaces all look handmade and each one has some sort of syble or crystal attached to it. “How may I be of service?” She looks at Jimin and then at you. Once your eyes met hers, her face suddenly lit up.

“Um.” Jimin started. “I’m looking for somethin-” 

“Something to help you communicate with your friend here?” She cuts him off and points at you. She starts making her way closer to where the two of you were standing.

“You can see me?” You asked, surprised.

“Of course my dear! You really thought you’d walk into a medium’s shop undetected?” She says. “Now let me see.” She switched her eyes between you and Jimin rapidly while her hand rubs her chin. You and Jimin both look at each other awkwardly, exchanging looks of uncertainty. “You” she points to Jimin “can only see her under the influence of the devil’s lettuce. Am I wrong?” Jimin shakes his head. You chuckle a bit at the term ‘devil’s lettuce’. “And you” she switches her finger so it’s now pointing in your direction “need his help with something, and you can’t do it without your little boyfriend’s help.” You nod, shocked. 

“He- he’s not my boyfriend.” You stutter, flustered. The lady ignores your statement, though. You and Jimin exchange looks again.

 “I might just have the thing.” She clasps her hands together and walks over to a shelf in the back corner of the shop. Your eyes follow her as she reaches and opens a little box. She stares into it for a moment, contemplating something, though it’s unclear what. She then closes the box again and walks back over to the both of you. “This might be able to help you.” She hands the box to Jimin. He takes it from her apprehensively, then slowly opens it to see what she’s given him. It was a necklace with a circle charm hanging off the end of it. In the center of the charm was a clear stone.

“What’s it for?” Jimin asked.

“It’ll help you communicate during the times when you can’t see her.” Said the woman. “It’ll be easy for you to use it too.” She said looking at you. “Just stick your finger to the stone and it’ll point light in any direction you want it to.” You look at her questioningly. “Well go on, try it.” You put your finger to the stone, and sure enough a light beamed onto the ceiling. When you moved your finger to the left, the light moved left as well. “When he’s wearing this, you’ll be able to give him directions using light.”

“I see.” You said still looking up at the light casting on the ceiling.

“How much?” Jimin asked.

“Twenty-five dollers.” Said the woman. Jimin followed the woman to the counter and set the box down. He pulled out his wallet and gave the woman three tens. After receiving his change, he put his wallet back in his pocket, took the box from the counter and headed for the door. Both of you thanked the woman before leaving.

Outside the store Jimin stopped and took the necklace out of the box. Putting it around his neck, he positioned the stone so it was facing forwards. 

You stared at for a moment. The stone was pretty, it was clear, like glass, and had little sparkles littering through the surface. It was small and round, and the charm surrounding it was a nice gold-copper color. You thought it was beautiful, and found yourself staring at it. Jimin found himself staring at you. You touched the stone again and the light was now casting onto the pavement.

You giggled. “That’s fun.” Jimin giggled as well.

“Come on, Spirit.” He said, as you both made your way back to his apartment.

--------------------

By the time you both made it back, Jimin claimed he was sobering up and couldn’t see you as well anymore. It was getting late so you told him you should be leaving anyways. He asked if you’d show up again tomorrow, and of course you said yes. Lately, you’ve been finding it hard to stay away from him.

Visiting you mom went as it usually did. She talked about her job and her boyfriend, then ended the one sided conversation expressing how much she misses you. She did end up telling you that she stored the letter and the rest of the box under her bed in hopes of being able to deliver it to your father someday. You just hoped you could help make that a reality.

As mentioned before, ghosts don’t sleep. After your mom went to bed, you found yourself extremely bored sitting in your old bedroom. Since your mom decided to keep the house you grew up in, your old childhood room remained almost completely intact, minus a few things that were given away to charity. You were laying on your twin bed, staring up at the ceiling. When you were alive, you used to do this all the time when you needed a moment to think. In this moment, you felt like you were a teenager again. Of course, it didn’t feel exactly the same, you were still dead and there was still this void inside of you that you couldn’t ever seem to fill, but for a moment life stopped and allowed you a taste of something other than death. Death is depressing for everybody, especially for those souls who just can’t seem to move on. 

It was 3 am and you grew tired of lying around and doing nothing, even if you did enjoy living in the past every once in a while. You made the decision that you’d visit Jimin’s apartment again, even if it was just to watch him sleep. God, you really have become a stalker. You couldn’t quite understand it yet, but being with Jimin provided you a sense of security. He filled that void, even if it was only for a moment.

You made your way to his part of the city, and found that the lights surrounding his apartment were actually quite pretty at night. They didn’t illuminate the corners, just the front surfaces of everything. It was peaceful how the city was so alive even when it was asleep. Sounds of cars and voices ran through the streets and alleyways like blood through a living person’s veins. You could see why somebody might hold this place near to their hearts.

You finally reached his building and made your way inside. It was a bit difficult for you to get through the door. You had to conjure up enough energy twice to help you slip through. Once through the main entrance and another through Jimin’s apartment door. To your luck, Jimin’s bedroom door was open a crack, so that allowed you to slip in easily.

You sat at his desk chair and watched his chest rise and fall. He was still in the same clothes from earlier, minus his sweatshirt, now the tee shirt he wore under it was exposed. His hair was a mess, probably from tossing in his sleep. He looked like a teenager, in all honesty. His room a mess, his disregard for changing and washing his clothes, you’d probably never guess this was an adult man fending for himself out in the world. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find it a bit charming though. That was probably another reason you enjoyed Jimin’s presence, he made you feel the taste of nostalgia you didn’t get to have anymore.

You watched him for about half an hour before his phone rang and rudely lit up the entire bedroom. Unwillingly, Jimin woke up and answered his phone with a groggy voice.

“Hello?” He croaked into it. He rubbed his eyes as he listened. Then all of a sudden, he stilled. His hand fell to his side and his face dropped. You wondered if it was really that necessary to call somebody at 4 in the morning. Apparently it was, Jimin sat straight up after the person on the other end of the line finished talking. “I’ll be right there.” Jimin said before hanging up. He quickly grabbed his sweatshirt and phone before he practically ran out the door. Of course, you decided to follow him.

You followed Jimin for about two blocks before a hospital came into view. You knew by the way Jimin was rushing that nothing about this situation could be good. When he reached the entrance, he threw the doors open and ran inside looking around frantically. You looked around too, trying to see what exactly Jimin was looking for.

“Jimin!” Shouted a voice from both of your lefts. It was a man you haven’t seen before, but based off of all of Jimin’s friends you have and haven’t seen so far, you assumed it was Yoongi, the guy Seokjin was talking about before. Jimin ran over to where Yoongi was sitting in the hospital waiting area.

“What happened?” He asked.

“I fucked up.” Yoongi said with his head in his hands.

“What happened?” Jimin repeated, enfucising the urgency of the situation.

 “I got some dope from a buddy of mine,” Yoongi choked out. “Jungkook said he wanted some ‘cause he hadn’t had any in a while. I swear on my life he didn’t have much, but next thing I knew he was laying on the couch in the shop and wasn’t waking up.” There were visible tears in his eyes and his voice came out choppy and sharp. His adams apple bobbed up and down every time he took a breath,

“A buddy?” Jimin scolded. “What kind of buddy gives you laced pills?”

“I don’t know!” Yoongi pleaded “I told you he was a friend, why would I let Jungkook touch it if I thought it was dangerous?” Jimin ran his hands through his hair, he was starting to get tears in his eyes as well. It was clear both boys were extremely distressed.

“We’re all going to jail.” Jimin said. “You realize that? Once the cops start investigating and digging everything up-”

“I know.” Yoongi cut him off.

“And I swear to god, hyung, if he dies-”

 “I know!” He was borderline screaming now. Everyone in the ER turned their heads to look at the source of the commotion. The boys took this as a sign to lower their voices. “I told you, I fucked up.” Jimin just sighed in response.

“Where is he now?” He asked.

“I have no idea, they put him on a stretcher and won’t tell me where they took him.”

Jimin sat down in the seat next to Yoongi, defeated. You didn’t know what you were supposed to do, it's not like you could do anything even if you were alive.

You started walking around, seeing if there was any sign of where Jungkook might have been taken. Just then, a nurse walked into the room and headed to the front desk.

“Do you know where patient Jeon has been taken to?” She asked the front desk. The woman behind the counter started typing on the computer.

Your face picked up. If you followed this nurse then you’d probably find Jungkook. You looked back at Jimin who was still on the verge of tears next to Yoongi. You walked back over to him, and much to your fortune, the necklace Jimin bought the day before was still hanging around his neck.

You put your finger to the stone once again, and light casted on the floor just as it did before. Since Jimin’s eyes were already hung to the floor, he noticed the light pretty quickly.

“Y/N?” He whispered. You moved your finger to the right to point towards the nurse at the information desk. The light resided on the back of her scrubs. Jimin’s eyes narrowed, trying to comprehend what you were trying to tell him. The nurse then nodded a thank you to the lady behind the desk and started to walk. You did your best to keep the light shining on her as much as possible. Jimin must have gotten the hint, ‘cause he abruptly got out of his seat and started to follow her.

“Where’re you going?” Yoongi asked.

“Bathroom.” He said without even bothering to look back.

Jimin followed the nurse down a long hallway. You tried your best to keep the light shining on her back, but it was hard when Jimin was walking so fast. Eventually, the nurse led you two to a room with double doors. She slid in a card key which allowed her to open and enter. Before Jimin could reach the doors, they closed. All he could do was look through the window. You decided to look through as well.

Inside the doors was a disturbing sight of Jungkook getting his stomach pumped. You kinda wish you didn’t lead Jimin down this way, it probably would’ve been better if he didn’t see this.

Jungkook lay unresponsive on a hospital bed, with tons of wires hooked up to him. A giant tube was shoved down his throat. You quickly looked away, not wanting to see anymore. Jimin, however, just kept staring. The more he stared the more tears started to fall from his eyes. 

“Jimin, stop.” You begged. You knew it was pointless since he couldn’t hear you. It was more of a silent plea to yourself, hoping he’d stop torturing himself like that. Your prayers were bittersweetly answered when he backed away from the door. He put his back to the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. His face was stained with tears and you couldn’t help but think this was your fault a bit. You really shouldn’t have led him here. Jimin’s breathing started picking up, and his crying became more hysterical. You crouched down to touch the stone again, signaling him you were still there. You couldn’t do much to comfort him, but you hope that that was enough.

“What am I supposed to do now, Spirit?” He whispered to you through choked sobs. Even if he could see you right now, you wouldn’t know how to respond.

“Jimin.” Said a soft voice from the other side of the hall. Both you and Jimin whipped your heads over to see who it was. Seokjin stood in a jacket and sweatpants, clearly being in the midst of his sleep when he too got a call. Jimin wiped his tears with his sleeve. The amount of tears falling from his eyes reduced after noticing Seokjin’s presence. “He’s gonna be alright you know.”

“You don’t know that.” Jimin spat back. Seokjin just sighed. “How’d you even find me anyways?”

“Yoongi’s told me you ran off in this direction.” He said as he made his way closer to where Jimin was sitting on the floor. “I just walked straight down the hall and, well, here you were.” When he finally reached him, he crouched down and sat next to him, shoulder to shoulder. Jimin wiped his nose with his sleeve as he sniffled once again.

“You don’t want to look in there.” Jimin said pointing to the door windows.

Seokjin nodded. “I’ll take your word for it.” It was clear neither of the boys knew what to say. Their friend was on the verge of dying and all they could do was sit around and wait. Seokjin suddenly started rummaging around in his coat pocket. He pulled out a piece of paper that was folded in fours. “I know this probably won’t make you feel better.” He said. “But here’s the address you asked for earlier.” Seokjin passed the paper to Jimin, and Jimin unfolded it to look at the writing. Sure enough, there was an address written on the inside. You crouched down beside Jimin to look as well. It looked like your father now lived two cities away.

Jimin stared at the paper for a bit, regulating his breathing. Sometimes you wished you knew what he was thinking. It always looked like he had thoughts running a mile a minute.

“Thanks, hyung.” He said as he folded the paper back up and put it in his pocket.

“Um, excuse me.” Said a nurse from above where the boys were sitting. It was a nurse you directed Jimin to follow earlier. Both boys looked up at her. “Could you gentlemen please wait in the waiting room?” She said in a kind and calming voice.

“Yes of course.” Said Seokjin as he got up. “Our apologies, m’am.” Jimin stood as well. The nurse nodded a ‘thank you’ and disappeared down the hall. Both Jimin and Seokjin made their way back to the waiting room to where the rest of the boys were now apparently waiting, so claimed Seokjin.

--------------------

Jungkook died about three hours later.

At first, it looked like he was gonna make it. The doctors say his heart gave out unexpectedly.

All the boys were still seated in the waiting room when they heard the news. Yoongi, Namjoon, and Hoseok felt the need to get as far away from the hospital as possible. Nobody knows where they decided to go. They all got into Yoongi’s car and drove off. Seokjin forced himself to deal with all the dreaded paperwork, since Jungkook didn’t have any legal or blood relatives that would do it. His eyes were glassy the entire time, but he forced himself to not cry, not yet. Taehyung helped too, he even called a funeral home and started making arrangements. 

Jimin, however, didn’t do anything. He was still seated in the waiting room chairs, head in his hands and tears falling on the floor. Every few minutes or so, you’d touch the stone again to hopefully comfort him. You weren’t sure if it was working or not, but it was all you could do.

You decided then that you would stay by Jimin’s side for the rest of the day. You couldn’t leave him, not now. Sitting in the chair beside him, you took in your surroundings. You were looking around to see if maybe you’d spot Jungkook’s spirit, silently praying he hadn’t gotten lost yet. You remember dying, and you remember your first few moments being dead. The very first thing you did was look for your family. It surprised you that you haven’t spotted Jungkook trying to communicate with any of the boys yet.

“Jimin.” Said a voice to Jimin’s left. He looked up and found Taehyung standing over him, tears in his eyes as well. Taehyung’s face showed more emotion, though. Jimin showed evidence of sadness through his tear stained cheeks, the rest of his face just looked utterly numb and defeated. “Why don’t you go home and rest. It’s probably not good for you to stick around her any longer.” Jimin didn’t respond. He just nodded and stood up.

You and Jimin both made your way back to his apartment.

--------------------

Jimin must have remembered you were with him. When he opened the doors to get to his apartment, he held them open a bit longer to let you get through. It made you feel better. It showed you he wanted you there. Every time you passed through, you would touch the stone again, as a way of saying ‘thank you’.

You expected the first thing he would do when he got home was cry. When he finally closed his front door, you braced yourself. You assumed he’d finally snap.

But he didn’t.

First thing he did after closing the door was go to the cabinets and grab his stash.

He still hadn’t broken down when he took out the weed.

He still held himself together as he rolled his blunt.

He still remained calm when he lit his blunt.

Two puffs, and still nothing.

Four puffs, and still nothing.

Eight puffs, and still.. Nothing. 

He just stared at the wall. Still standing up, behind the kitchen counter. He didn’t even bother to sit down.

Ten puffs, and still nothing.

It was excruciatingly painful, just standing there watching him. Waiting for the shoe to drop. 

Sixteen puffs. Nothing.

No reaction. Just inhaling, and exhaling. 

You didn’t sit down either. You felt too on edge to allow yourself any kind of relaxation. 

After about fifteen minutes, Jimin started to feel the effects. His eyes turned red, and his muscles relaxed a bit. 

Though, he was only relaxed for a moment, until he saw you standing on the other side of the counter.

Twenty puffs, and he still hasn’t reacted.

And he didn’t react. 

Not when he looked up at you. 

Not when he walked over to you. 

And not when he was standing right in front of you, face to face. 

You could feel his breath touch your nose, but he couldn’t feel yours. The more he 

looked at you, the more his eyes started to water, and his lip started to quiver. But still, he hasn’t fully reacted yet.

He only let himself go when you asked the dreaded question “Are you okay?” 

It was a stupid question, really. Obviously, he wasn’t, but what else are you supposed to say?

Jimin broke eye contact with you after you asked it. He shook his head, and finally let his guard down. He choked on his sobs. His shoulders bounced up and down everytime he exhaled, and he was exhaling pretty rapidly.

He was now reacting the way you expected him to.The shoe finally dropped, as did he. Jimin fell to the floor and rested his back to the counter. He wasn’t just crying, he was sobbing, wailing. It was the kind of cry that was in no way pretty, the kind of cry that society deemed acceptable for only children. You fell to the floor with him, and you as well started crying. You not only cried for Jimin, but for Jungkook. He was too young to die, and you knew that feeling all too well. This whole situation was like one big Deja Vu that didn’t end.

“Hey,” you soothed. “It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.” Jimin just shook his head.

“No, it’s not.” He croaked out. He was right though, and you knew that. None of this was okay. You wanted to touch him. To hug him, stroke him, hold him. You knew it would be useless, but you couldn’t help yourself. You reached out your hand to touch his face. Your skin made contact with his and you stroked his cheek. You could only faintly feel him. There was still a barrier between you two, between the living and the dead. 

Jimin, however, felt you clear as day. It was only for a moment, only for a split second. The moment your hand touched his face he felt your warmth. It quickly scattered away, lost in connection, but he felt it. He didn’t tell you though, he knew he probably should’ve but he didn’t. He wanted to keep that to himself.

Even though he only felt you for half of a moment, he realized he loved the way you felt, and he’d do anything to feel you again.

--------------------

You stayed with him for the rest of the day, as you promised yourself before.

You comforted him when he cried, and listened to him when he talked. He told you about his favorite moments with Jungkook. Most of the memories were from when Jungkook was in middle school and Jimin was in his early years of High School.

You assured him that none of this was his fault. Yes, there were times when Jimin gave him drugs, but if Jungkook hadn’t gotten the drugs from Jimin he would have just gotten them somewhere else.

You also told Jimin that if you ever saw Jungkook walking around, you’d let him know. You remember the feeling of being a new spirit, being so lost and confused. Of course you would help Jungkook out in any way possible. It was very unlikely Jungkook had moved on already. He was young and most definitely had unfinished business to take care of.

You constantly had to remind Jimin to eat. He was reluctant, but he listened.

You had to remind him to shower. Again, he was reluctant, but he listened.

You knew it would be a while before Jimin was himself again, and you were willing to help him in any way possible. 

At about one o’clock, five hours after Jungkook’s death, he made an unexpected suggestion.

“We could go visit your dad.” He said, till teary eyed. “I have his address now, we could give him that letter.”

“Jimin, your friend just died. I don’t think-” “Please,” He interrupted. “It will help me take my mind off things. Besides, you’ve been with me the whole day. Let me do this for you.” He forced a smile and sniffled. For a moment, you almost believed the smile was a real one, and that scared you a bit. You felt guilty. He was in a lot of pain, and yet he still wanted to do this for you. It should have been you doing something for him, but you were dead, you couldn’t really do anything.

You told him once more that you didn’t think it was a good idea, but he kept on pushing it. After about a ten minute debate you gave in. If he really wanted to go, you knew there was nothing you could do to stop him.

“It’s at my mom’s house.” You told him. “There’s a box under her bed with everything she wants to give him, including the letter.”

“Alright.” Jimin said. During the time you spent together that day, you both migrated to his bedroom so Jimin could cry in the comfort of his own bed. He got up from his bed and made his way back to the kitchen. You trailed behind him.

“You know, you could just give the address to my mom. She’d be okay with taking it to him.” You said.

“No, I want to do it.” He insisted.

“Jimin, you really don’t-”

“Please, just let me do this for you!” He shouted, starting to get annoyed. There was desperation laced in his voice. You couldn’t really understand why this was so important to him, but you figured this wasn’t the time to argue, so you nodded an ‘alright’.

Before leaving, Jimin rummaged through one of the draws in the kitchen, looking for something. He pulled out a plastic bag with, what looked like gummies, inside.

“What’s that for?” You asked.

“Edibles.” He said. “So I’ll be able to see you the whole time we’re out.” He put the baggie in his pocket and headed towards the door. You both then made your way to your mother’s house.

--------------------

When arriving at the house, you realized your mother’s car wasn’t in the driveway.

“Shoot.” You groaned. “She’s not home.” You turned to Jimin, expecting the both of you to just turn around and go back to his place.

“Is there any way to get in the house?” He asked.

“What, you mean like, breaking and entering?” You asked in disbelief. “Jimin, you could be arrested.”

“Well, does your mom have a security system?” He asked.

“Well, no but-”

“Then I’ll be fine.” This was the third time he interrupted you today. He was being oddly pushy, but you allowed it after the tragedy of today’s events. “How do I get in?”

“I’m not letting you break into my mom’s house.” You scorned, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Fine then, I’ll figure it out myself.”

“In broad daylight?” You questioned, shockingly. “Somebody’s gonna see you.”

“I told you, I’ll be fine!” He was clearly short with you, aggravated by your constant worry about him. He knew it was unreasonable, since you were just looking out for him, but still, he had a plan and he wanted to go through with it.

He walked around the entire perimeter of the house. Your mom lived in a small little neighborhood just on the outskirts of the city. Most of the people that lived around here had day jobs. He really wasn’t that worried about being caught, the neighborhood looked so dead. Besides, even if someone did see him, he’d be long gone before he gets caught. 

The whole time he searched for a way in, you just kept your arms crossed and pouted behind him. You didn’t like the fact that he was putting himself through all this for you. It really wasn’t that important, but you didn’t want to tell him no. He’s already been through enough today, the last thing he needs is you pissing him off, which it seems like you already did.

Jimin found that the basement door in the backyard had been left unlocked. You remembered your mother never remembered to lock it, even when you were alive. She likes to garden, and it’s just easier for her to keep the door unlocked so she doesn’t have to unlock it every day when she wants to tent to her vegetables. Plus, she always loses the key anyways. You made a mental note to scorn her if you ever got the chance to. Jimin swung open the metal doors and climbed down the steps.

“You coming?” He asked when he noticed you weren’t following behind, just standing at the opening of the cellar with your arms crossed. You just rolled your eyes and reluctantly trailed after him.

When you were both in the basement, Jimin closed the door to the outside and found the string that turns on the light. It had been a while since you’d been in your old house’s basement. You walked over to a box labeled ‘toys’, which consisted of your favorite childhood memories. All your old barbie dolls, old costumes, a play kitchen set, it was all there. God, if only you could rewind time and be a kid again.

“Cute.” Jimin chuckled from the other side of the room. You turned around to look at him.

“What is?” You asked. He held up the picture he was looking at. It was a picture of you and your parents on your third birthday. All three of you were smiling over an Elmo cake, while you wore an Elmo shirt and party hat. It made you smile, you remember seeing that picture multiple times when you were alive.

“You were cute.” Jimin said with a small smile on his face.

“Were?” You joked, acting as if you were offended. He laughed at your statement. After all the crazy events that happened that day, it was so so nice to see him smile, even if it was only for a moment.

“Come on, Spirit.” He said as he put the picture back in its original place. “This box isn’t gonna deliver itself.”

--------------------

It didn’t take long to find the box and the letter, and before you knew it, you and Jimin had made your way out of the house before anyone saw the crime you both committed. You told Jimin to write your mom a note, saying that the box had been delivered to your dad. You also told him to write his new address as well, in case she wanted to ever get in contact with him. Your parents didn’t hate each other, and you were fairly certain that if your mom ever wanted to reconnect with your dad, he’d be receptive.

You and Jimin took the subway to the city your dad lived in. It was about a twenty minute ride, and every few minutes or so, Jimin would eat some edibles to keep his high. Eventually though, he couldn’t stop eating them since they were the only food he had with him. You had to yell at him to stop, but of course he didn’t take you seriously, he just told you that you were cute when you were angry. You ignored his sad attempt at flirting, but then again, was he flirting with you? It’s not that you wouldn’t want him to flirt with you, it’d just be pointless. You were dead and he wasn’t, there was no room for a relationship between you two.

You were brutally aware of your feelings for him though. You didn’t act on them, or even acknowledge them, really, it was pointless to. He would eventually find someone, someone who was alive and still had a life to live. When that happened, you decided you’d be happy for him. You never got to have that, so it’d be nice to be able to see him have it, even if it isn’t with you.

If you were alive, though….

Oh, if only you were alive. With Jimin, you felt like you were living. Even when you had a beating heart, it never beat as fast as the way your chest pounded when he smiled at you. Even if you were alive, you never felt like you were living. You’re convinced that you were supposed to meet Jimin during your lifetime. You’re convinced that if you did mean Jimin during your lifetime, you might have just spent the rest of your life with him.

It was a bit childish to think about these things, and you knew that, but you didn’t have much else to think about these days. 

You fell in love in the afterlife, what a miserable way to spend the rest of eternity.

It felt like forever, but you finally made it to your father’s place. He lived in an apartment complex similar to Jimin’s. It was run down and a bit shady, there were mysterious stains on the wall and you weren’t sure if you’d want to know their back stories.

He lived on the tenth floor in apartment 10J, the last door on the right.

Upon stopping in front of the door, you both stopped and held your breath. Maybe this was all wrong. Maybe your dad was in awful condition and seeing him would just tear you apart. Maybe he was an alcoholic asshole now and would tell Jimin to fuck off. Maybe, when Jimin knocked on that door, the man that answered wouldn’t even be your dad. Maybe you’re at the wrong apartment, or Seokjin tracked the wrong guy.

“I don’t have to knock, you know.” Said Jimin, he must have seen the anxiety swimming across your face. “I could just leave it on the doorstep.” You didn’t respond. Did you want him to knock? You weren’t really sure.

“Knock only if you feel comfortable knocking.” You told him.

“I’m comfortable with anything you want me to do.” He said. Of course he was being sweet and understanding, that didn’t really help you make your decision though. You kind of wished he just knocked without asking you, so you could rip this off, like a band aid.

“Just do it.” You spit out, handing covering your eyes as if you were watching a tense part of a horror movie. He did as told and lifted his fist to knock.

Jimin knocked a total of three times, and it took about ten seconds for somebody to open the door (not that you were counting). The door peeled back, and on the other side stood a pregnant woman. She looked a little older than what you’d expect a pregnant woman to look like, you guessed she was only a few years younger than your mom.

Your first thought upon seeing the woman was ‘oh my god, we’re at the wrong house. I still don’t know where my dad is and I’m probably never gonna see him again.’ You were prepared to live the rest of your after life never knowing what ever happened to your father.

“Can I help you?” The woman asked. Jimin looked disheartened as well, probably assuming the same things you were.

“Um..” He started. “Is there a Robert here?”

“Uh, yeah sure.” The woman said, confused. Both your faces picked up. Maybe your dad was here after all. “Robert! Honey!” The woman called out into her apartment.

“Coming!” Somebody yelled. You knew that voice. You haven’t heard it in so long, but it felt so good to hear it again. There were footsteps coming from the back of the apartment. They traveled towards the front, and stopped right behind the door.

Then there he was, you dad. He wasn’t an asshole alcoholic, nor did he look to be in any kind of awful condition. He looked radiant, like he was healthy and happy. Tears started to prick in your eyes. He looked the way he did during your childhood. In the last few years you were alive, your parent’s relationship was rocky. You remember him always looking disheveled and depressed.

“Yes?” Your dad asked. Jimin looked at you for confirmation, to check and make sure this really was your dad. You nodded at him, giving him the ‘go ahead’.

“Um, I have a package for you, sir.” He said, holding out the box towards your father. Your dad looked at the box and read the writing on the side that said ‘storage’.

“Who’s it from?” Your dad asked, taking the box from Jimin.

“Tell him it’s from me.” You said to Jimin through your soft cries.

“It’s- um- from your daughter, sir.” He said. Your dad stopped his movements and shot his head up to look at Jimin. He didn’t look angry or offended, just surprised.

“What?” He asked, shocked. The woman also looked stunned.

“S-she wanted you to have these things. I’m sorry they didn’t get to you earlier.” Jimin rubbed the back of his neck in awkwardness. He was just hoping the man wouldn’t get angry as to how and why he suddenly had a bunch of his dead daughter’s possessions.

“Were you a friend of hers?” The man asked, starting to form tears in his eyes as well.

“Um” Jimin started. He didn’t know how to answer that. Technically no, he wasn’t a friend of yours when you were alive, even though he was now. “Something like that. She’s very important to me though.” The man just nodded, deciding not to dive deeper into that explanation. Right now, all he was focused on was the fact that he had a piece of his daughter now. After the divorce, he never took anything from the old house. It was a decision he deeply regretted. He opened the box and found a bunch of your old stuff. Pictures, clothes, toys, journals, it was all there. On top of all those things lay the note you wrote to him. Your dad was really starting to cry now, which only made you cry harder.

“Thank you.” Said the man, through his sobs. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

“It was my pleasure.” Jimin said.

“Would you like to come in?” Said the woman standing beside your dad. “I have some cookies I just baked, and you could have some coffee if you’d like.”

“No no, it’s really fine.” Jimin said as politely as he possibly could. “I have to be somewhere, but I’m glad I could deliver this to you.”

“What was your name, son?” asked the man.

“Jimin.” He answered.

“Well, Jimin, if you need anything, you are more than welcome to come here anytime.” Said you dad.

“Thank you, sir.” He said with a nod.

And with that, Jimin said goodbye to the couple. The door closed and you and Jimin made your way out of the apartment building.

“Did you want me to stay?” He asked you.

“No, it’s fine.” You said with a smile. “What you did was more than enough.” You were so so happy, the happiest you’ve been since you’ve died. Your dad was happy, and he knew you loved him, and you knew he hadn’t forgotten about you. He also had a baby on the way. You were gonna be a big sister! Even if you weren’t alive, you just knew you were gonna protect that baby with everything you’ve got. 

Jimin looked at your face and smiled. He hadn’t realized it till now, but he’s never seen you smile like that before. You looked lighter and more radiant. To him, you looked stunning. Everything was worth it. If he had to fly across the whole world just to get that reaction out of you then he would in a heartbeat. He wouldn’t tell you that though, not yet anyways.

“I want to take you somewhere.” He said. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, of course.” You said. “Where are we going?”

“You’ll see. It’s not far.”

--------------------

The place Jimin wanted to take you was about a fifteen minute train ride. By the time you reached there, he only had a few edibles left. You just hoped you wouldn’t be there long, or else Jimin would be having a one sided conversation with himself once he sobered up.

The place he took you to was an abandoned building, or what was left of the building. Not much of the walls were there anymore, just the main structures and support beams, all of which were littered with writing, graffiti, and old bottles. You could see the inside of the building from the outside. It wasn’t ridiculously tall either, maybe about four stories high. The building was placed in the middle of an empty plot, away from the rest of the city. It was secluded and quiet there, like a little hiding place.

“This” Jimin said upon arriving at the place “is where me and the rest of the boys would come to hang out after school.” Every time you took a step, the tan dirt lifted up and scattered everywhere. You could understand why a bunch of teenagers would come to hang out here. If you knew about this place in your teen years, you probably would have come here too. “Follow me.”

You followed Jimin all the way up to the top floor, which wasn’t even a floor, it was the roof.

“Uh, Jimin.” You said when you looked over the top. “Is it even safe to be up this high?” You asked.

He chuckled, “You’re already dead, you know. If you fall it’s not gonna do anything.”

“I know” you smiled. “Doesn’t mean I’m still not scared.” The view from up there was very pretty, you must admit. You could see people from miles away, cars zooming that looked as tiny as ants. The sun was starting to set too, the sky looked like it was on fire. The world around you was painted in an orange hue, it was relaxing. Jimin walked over to the edge of the roof and dangled his feet over the side, looking out to the sunset. You decided to join him. You copied his movements, and dangled your feet over the side as well.

“Me and Jungkook used to sit here a lot, most of the time to smoke.” He said. You almost forgot about today’s events with Jungkook. You felt like such an asshole now. You’ve been in a good mood since you saw your father, you almost forgot that this was probably the worst day of Jimin’s life. “Sometimes,” he huffed “he’d talk to me about skipping town. He wanted to make music, you know. He was so fucking good at it too.” Tears started welling up in his eyes again, he looked down at his hands and watched himself play with his fingers. “That kid was really supposed to be something great, I just know it.” You just sat and listened, there wasn’t really anything you could say to make him feel better. You figured the best thing was to do was to just let him speak his mind. “I’ve spent my whole life trying to protect that kid from becoming exactly the thing he became. When I realized it was hopeless, I just gave up all together.” He looked over at you and gave you a sad smile. “I didn’t just give up on him though, I gave up on myself.”

You shook your head, apologetically. “I’m so sorry. I really am, I wish I could make things better for you.” Jimin looked back out towards the sunset. You don’t know why you decided to do it, but you leaned your body against his side and leaned your head on his shoulder. You knew he couldn’t feel it, you could only faintly feel him. You wanted so much more of him, but you knew you couldn’t have it. Making yourself do these things only tortured you more, but you didn’t really care.

“But that’s the thing.” He said. “You did make it better. I was so lonely before you showed up, Y/N.” He extended his palm, signalling you to put your hand in his. You didn’t understand why, he wouldn’t feel anything, but you did it regardless.

Jimin wanted to feel you so bad, it was painful. He needed to feel you. He couldn’t stop thinking about that one millisecond of a moment he felt your hand. You were so warm, so inviting. He’s never felt anything like it in all his life. He would feel it again, he was certain. He would make sure of it.

“You’re not going to like this.” He said, suddenly. You picked your head off from off his shoulder.

“Like what?”

“What I’m going to do next.” Jimin then stood up, dangerously close to the edge of the building. You thought for a second he was going to jump, and you chuckled a bit in disbelief. He didn’t move though, he kept standing alarmingly close to the edge.

“Jimin?” You questioned. He didn’t look at you, only straight ahead. “Jimin, you’re scaring me.” He still didn’t respond. You were starting to feel the anxiety settle in now. He wouldn’t actually jump would he? You stood up too, too afraid to just sit and watch. “Jimin!” You shouted, trying to get his attention. You tried pulling him backwards, but of course that did nothing. It only barely tugged his sleeve a little. It was enough to get him to look back at you.

“Tell me why I shouldn't.” He stated, swallowing on his words a bit.

“Your friends, they love you and they just lost Jungkook. They need you right now.”

“No, they don’t. They’ve been just fine without me. Ever since I stopped going to hang out with them, they’ve just carried on with their lives. They barely even called to see if I was okay.” Tears were streaming down both your faces now. You were scared he was gonna die, and he was begging you to let him do it. “The only thing I care about right now is you. I can’t feel you and it’s driving me insane!”

“Jimin, you can’t do this! Not for me!”

“Why not! Everything you’ve done these last few days has all been for me! You could’ve went anywhere in the world, done anything you fucking wanted to, but you came back to me simply because I asked you to. You’ve cared more about me in this short time that we’ve had together, than anybody ever has in my entire life.” “That’s not true and you know that!” You shouted. “The boys love you and-”

“Yeah well I love you!” And there it was, that thing that’s been unspoken between you two. Nobody dared to admit it until now. You’d only known him a couple of days but you’ve never really known what it was like to be in love till now.

“And I love you too,” you said, finally allowing yourself to admit it “which is exactly why I’m begging you to step away from the ledge.” Jimin looked down at the ground. Yes, the building wasn’t the tallest structure out there, but a fall from this height is certainly life threatening. For a moment, he actually considered not jumping. Maybe it would be best to just push through the next couple of days.

The thing is though, Jimin had already made up his mind, even before Jungkook had died, and even before he had met you. He knew he wanted to be with you, and he knew this moment would come eventually, he just didn’t realize it’d come so soon. He’s had plans to jump from here for a while now, and you were just another pro he added to the list. Right now, you were the only factor that mattered to him, and everything in his body was screaming at him to do it. Plus, you told him you loved him. How was he supposed to back out now?

“I’m sorry.” He said.

You tried to pull him back, you really did, but he was an unstoppable force.

You wrapped your hands around his waist, but it only pulled you down with him.

You both fell, the only difference is, you’re already dead.

--------------------

You and Jimin both stood over his body, which now lay bloody and lifeless on the ground. Turns out there was a broken bottle conveniently placed right where his head landed. There’s no way anybody could have survived that.

You need a moment to process what just happened. One minute, you were having a cute moment, watching the sunset. The next, you’re reliving the most traumatic thing that’s ever happened to you. There were two Jimins in front of you now, and one was looking at the other like he was gonna throw up.

You weren’t sure what you were supposed to do now, all you could do was cry and hyperventilate. You were hyperventilating so loud, you almost didn’t notice Jimin was hyperventilating twice as much. Once you noticed he was severely freaking out, you rushed over to him.

“Don’t look.” You told him. When you first saw your body, the more you looked at it the more surreal everything was, and the more freaked out you became. “Don’t look at it.” You reached over to where he was standing, and stood as close to him as possible. You could feel his warmth so much better now, and it was a little fucked up that you were loving it. He had just killed himself, you couldn’t think about that right now. “Just look at me.” He didn’t look at you though, he just kept staring at his own dead body. “Jimin,” you said calmly “look at me, please.” You touched your hand to his check, just like you did earlier that day. This time, you really felt him though. Not faintly, but fully.

 He felt you too, and once he did, he felt like it was all worth it. He looked at you, finally. The more he stared at you, the more his breathing slowed. There were a few times he’d try to avert his eyes back to his body, but you pulled his face back towards your direction.

“Just look at me, okay?” he nodded in response. You felt so good, so safe. He was still realizing the weight of his actions, only realizing now he didn’t really want to die. The thought of his friends receiving the news of his death ate away at the back of his mind. The guilt was weight on his chest.

He didn’t want to think about that now though, not when he could see you so clearly, clearer than he could before. Before, he thought you were stunning, now he thought you looked ethereal. Your touch was intoxicating too. He reached up his hand to where yours cupped his face, and let his hand rest over yours.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin finally said. You rubbed your thumb against his cheek, which prompted him to nuzzle his face further into your hand. His sobs started picking up again.

“It’s okay.” You soothed. “You’re okay.” You moved to hug him, something you’ve wanted to do for so long. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and he wasted no time wrapping his around your waist. He sobbed quietly into your neck while you raked your hands through his hair. You discovered then that you loved to touch him, you just wished you made this discovery under better circumstances.

You kissed his cheek. You don’t know why you did that, it just felt right. It shocked him, he wasn’t expecting you to do that. He picked his head up off your shoulder to look at you.

Your foreheads touched

And soon after your lips

Your unfinished business now was Jimin. 

Until he completed his unfinished business, you couldn’t move on. 

Not without him.

---

“Eternity wouldn’t be so bad, as long as I got to spend it with you....”

[not-the-cleavers]

Target II - Chapter 6

HOLY SHIT sorry for the delay but I seriously got into a rut of ‘I don’t wanna” then Queen happened but now Chapter 6 is here!!! Now I’m not going to lie I did channel Penelope Garcia from Criminal Minds for a small section of this. Now Four comes across as a fuck boy in this chapter cause ya girl was dealing with some shit while writing this. Also I never thought that I would ever google “how to clean a gun” and “how to care for throwing knives” BUT HERE WE ARE!!!

Tags; @adrenaline-roulette​ and @amy-brooklyn99​ - if you would like to be tagged just let me know

Pairing; Four x Eight (female reader) Fandom; 6 Underground Warnings; Swearing, angst, mentions of trafficking again (sorry), violence against fellow ghosts and smoking Word count; 1.9k (total so far 9.8k) 

Summary; The team has moved onto their next target after dealing with Rovach Alimov, a war criminal named John Dough. Eight has just joined the team and is dying to show how much she deserves to be there

Catch up: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

A week has passed since my last interaction with Billy, was he avoiding me? I was able to keep my mind off the blonde for a while by concentrating on the hard drive and working out who John Dough interacted with most so we could hopefully take down his whole operation. Unfortunately, I made quick work of that task as Dough was meticulously organised. He had folders for business associates, shell companies, calendars and meetings with audio logs, he even had a folder for completed deals, and all were named as such. Normally organised hard drives were sought after, but all I wanted was a massive mess to have to dive into, search for what I need and take my mind off that stupidly beautiful blonde. So I started to make notes, prolonging my work and making the next brief easier, or at least that’s what I was telling myself. I decided a timeline was the best way to figure this guy out, so that’s exactly what I did. I hit play on a random playlist on my iPod to have play in the background while I focused. According to every system I had access to; John Dough did not exist before 2001 when he was 29. There are no birth or death certificates, no school, prison or medical records, no properties or loans under his name. He was effectively like us, a ghost. No real name or family, nothing tying him to anything before his crimes. Which began when he made a name for himself as a hitman. Starting slow, killing random strangers for other random strangers to make money, but without a conscious, it appeared he had no rules when it came to his murder for hire business. Three had previously mentioned almost all hitmen refuse to kill children, a few less refuse to kill women, but this guy had no cut off point. His youngest victim was just 6 months old when the car he was in with his mother exploded, as per the deal with the scumbag husband and father who paid him $500,000 for the hit. In 2008 he left the hitman business and became a human trafficker, more money and more risk involved with that particular lifestyle. And in that position he was able to create all sorts of partnerships with all types of psychopaths and lowlifes, so in 2011 when he decided that he wanted more money and more power, he became an arms dealer. His biggest earning clients were the terrorist cells he supplied with guns and chemical weapons. And that’s what he’s been doing for the past nine years, and that’s what caught One’s eye. One had a sneaking suspicion that Dough has supplied Rovach with the Sarin gas for the attack that he bore witness to all those years ago. Granted One had no idea I knew he was there during that attack, but I gather intelligence, of course I knew he was there.

Eight: Call a brief. One: You sure you’re ready, or do you still need your beauty sleep? Eight: Fuck off cunt. One: This better be fucking good. Hanger, 1 hour.

I busied myself, making seven copies of my notes and timeline and filed one copy into one folder for everyone, shoved another cigarette into my mouth and lit it, pocketed the pack and made my way over to the hanger with the files and my laptop. I had to set up to make this brief go smoothly, because unlike the rest of the ghosts, I have been legally dead for the past 3 years, well before One had recruited me. If One decided that he no longer needed me, I wasn’t stuck for options, he didn’t have to actually kill me and I could make do on my own, and he knew that.

I wirelessly connected my laptop to the multiple screens around the room, giving everyone a decent view of what I’ve found, and just as I was placing the folders around our table, One entered the room, making a scene and complaining that I was making the room smell worse with my cigarettes. “I prefer cigarette smoke over the smell of dried blood that normally floods this room” I sneered in his direction. He just rolled his eyes in response. Slowly everyone filtered in and took their seats, Billy was last in and refused to make eye contact with you. Fuck him; he doesn’t know what he’s missing! With a slight shake of my head I steadied my breath and started going over everything I know. “Alrighty squirrel friends, I have delved deep into this monsters hard drive and this is what I’ve learnt…” I started my monologue, going over the time line I created with all his victims in the early days, moving onto his trafficking days with the photos found a week ago inside their own manila folder for only the brave to look at. Four pushed that folder as far away from him as possible as soon as I mention what was inside. Finishing with his latest weapons deals that were leading to innocent deaths in the hundreds of thousands to possible millions. “Prior to 2001, there is nothing on him. I have no idea what this man was doing before he turned 29 so just in case it wasn’t obvious; John Dough is not his birth name.” this caused a small chuckle from the ghosts. “But what I do know, he travels to meet this man” I flashed a picture of a fat, white and balding man up on the screens for the team to see “twice a month, to eat expensive meals, drink ridiculously old and pricey scotch, smoke Cuban cigars and fuck high end prostitutes. Not to mention secure guns and chemical weapons for the people Dough sells to. His name is Stanislav Zakirov, a high level member of the Russian Mob. Now we could go after this piece of shit as well, but that would be more of a shit show than Hong Kong was. I would recommend hitting Dough after one of these meetings, after Zakirov leaves. This minimises the risk to us, keeps us away from the Russians, and means we can take this fucker down.” The room fell quiet as soon as I finished my speech; I was done talking so I just waited for someone to say something, a glance up at One revealed he was avoiding looking at me after his last words to me in person. After a few minutes with not a single word I decided I was done sitting around, I picked up my laptop once more, I walked past One and said loudly “Was that fucking good enough for you? Prick” lit another cigarette and walked out the hanger.  

Now with nothing to do to take my mind off everything that had happened over the past weeks I felt lost and unable to get rid of my anger, so a ritualistic activity was needed. Cleaning my guns and sharpening my knives. I walked to a rusted airplane fuselage across the lot that was upcycled into the armoury for the team, and over to my gear and started to lay out the items needed. I started with my knives, unsheathing the blades and placing them on the metal bench, and one by one sharpening them with my trusty bastard file, quickly washing away any shavings that might be left on the knife-edge and rubbing them down with lubricant, thankfully gun lubricant works for this as that’s all I had left. As I was sharpening the last blade I noticed it was slightly bent, possibly from the last mission, so I made quick work of straightening it out, placing it slightly offset from a piece of the fuselage and using my body weight. Not the best way to do it but after years I found it was the quickest. After all my knives were sharpened I started the formulaic process of cleaning my guns. Rolling out a towel and placing the brushes, lubricant, cleaning solvent and cotton swabs down and disassembling my guns one at a time. I found myself falling into rhythm, the clicks and smells of the cleaning solution taking my mind off the joke that was this teams current state of being. As I was working on my last gun my heightened instincts told me that someone was coming towards the armoury. I grabbed one of my knives and used my shirt to wipe away any remaining lubricant, and with one swift move I turned on the stool I was on and threw the blade. The knife pierced the plastic on the side of the planes body right by the door, a warning throw, not intended to harm but to scare away whoever was coming. “Fuck me dead Eight! You have to stop doing that to me” One’s voice, dripping with frustration and anger broke the silence of the room. “Maybe you should’ve learnt your lesson from last time and avoid sneaking up on me when I’m pissed off” I sneered, my attention was back to my gun, with one final click the barrel was back in place. “The fuck do you want, can’t you see I’m busy?” “Well we all wanted to know if you were coming back to the briefing or if you were gonna wallow here in self-pity” One snorted. That does it. I let loose another blade, this time aiming for his thigh, but he saw it coming and quickly dodged it. “See I did learn from last time” “Leave me alone One, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit right now. Last I checked, we were the ones working our asses off on your vendetta missions while you hang around out of danger and piss us all off.” I was yelling at this point. I was never one to hide my anger and One had hit just the right buttons, that and Four who was being the exact definition of a fuck boy right now, was enough to make me explode. “Now unless you’re here to apologise I suggest you get lost” my voice was almost a snarl at this point.

That’s when I noticed that the rest of the ghosts were also in the room with us, all but Two seemed surprised by my outburst, and even more so at my complete disregard to if I hit One or not. She had what almost looked like a smile on her lips. One pushed past them all in a huff, a string of profanities leaving his lips, all focused towards me. After a few awkward moments Two broke the silence. “Well I’m no pussy so I’ll speak. We agree with your plan, it’s smart and the easiest way to take him out. Also One is a dick. He wants to apologise but his ego is getting in the way” her French accent bringing an air of class to her words. The rest of the ghosts nodded along with her words.

“Right well he knows where to find me if he decides to pull his head out of his ass and apologise” I told her, standing from my position and making my way out of the room “excuse me, I need to be alone right now” I made my way past my team mates and out into the thick humidity of the Californian desert, unsure where I was going, but knowing I didn’t want to be around anyone.