#So of course I'm publishing a horror novel

[venomquill]

Tomorrow~

Eyoooo one day left~

Tomorrow I'm publishing a fanfiction teaser and a book trailer for "Help Needed"! :D

[winndycakes]

Winndy Rambles And Gushes About Chuck Tingle

Wanted to ramble a little about one of my favorite authors, creators and overall just super rad people; Chuck Tingle.

Like many people, when I first heard of Chuck, I took him as some sort of meme. A troll, a joke, someone not to be taken seriously. After all, the majority of his works are "silly short erotica stories around dinosaurs, cryptids and even living concepts and items". How COULD this be serious? It's a question I asked before, years ago, and one that many still do to this day.

One holiday season, a friend had made a post on FaceBook saying "first five people to comment I'll gift you a book". So I did. The book I got was a physical copy of the "Space Raptor Butt Invasion Trilogy" by Chuck Tingle. Since I had a book of Tingle's now, I really had no excuse to not read it for myself.

Erotica normally isn't my thing (I'm pretty ace and grey aro too), but very quickly, I was charmed by the prose. As you read Chuck's stories, there's a fact that becomes very apparent. Chuck Tingle is a great writer, a really great writer. How he writes, how the words flow together, one sentence going into the next. The characters, the plot, the little bits of lore, dialogue and all he puts in... You quickly begin to see; this is NOT a joke.

It is not a meme. He is not trolling you. It is art. Passionate, sincere, genuine art. And it's beautiful. The more you read, the more definitive it gets.

I will admit, I have read aloud many a Tingler for friends and others in Discord servers, both to share my joy of Tingle with others, but also, it is fun to look at how different his works are. It's fine to laugh along with them even.

The moment that really was like... angels singing, light shining down and there's bishi sparkles and a heavenly soft pink background appearing for me though was the summer Chuck Tingle released on of his first full novella's; "Trans Wizard Harriet Porber and the Bad Boy Parasaurolophus". Like many, I was crushed and gutted at JKR's extreme turn to committing to transphobia (and of course the hindsight of realizing... the HP books and universe were not as kind and welcoming as I remembered growing up). So when Chuck Tingle (in one weekend mind you) came out with a 50k novel affirming trans people and their belonging in not just queer spaces, but being on this Earth, as fellow human beings, it was... affirming. It was the welcoming feeling I had gotten with the original HP books all those years ago, but it was real. (Also please read both Trans Wizard Harriet Porber books. They're delightful, fun and the magic system Tingle creates is so, so cool and interesting).

The next thing that got me just mega hype for Tingle was his first foray into horror; "Straight". "Straight" is Tingle's answer to the ever popular trope and genre of zombies and the apocalypse that comes with them, and what a fun turn of tables he takes on them. Zombies in the Tingleverse are not undead beings, they're not humans afflicted by a virus, instead a strange cosmic event happens once a year, when one night, all cishet people on Earth get this animalistic, violent urge to brutally harm and even kill all queer people. I won't get too spoilery about it but it is a very fun romp, and as someone who has been fatigued by zombies, it is a welcome new perspective.

Not long after this, Chuck came out with two full, traditionally published horror novels; "Camp Damascus" and "Bury Your Gays". Both are very different experiences in horror, both a joyful celebration of being queer and your authentic self even in the face of those looking to silence you, permanently if they must. I had the pleasure of meeting Chuck (twice!) while he was on tour for both of these books, getting my copies signed (along with my copies of the Trans Wizard duology and my beloved copy of the Space Raptor trilogy) and was able to tell Tingle myself just how important he is to someone like me; another queer autistic creator. (I was also one of the few people to win the little mini games he gave, twice, but that's a different story).

Ultimately that is what I am trying to get at. Growing up, and even for all of my 20s, there wasn't really someone like Tingle. Someone unabashedly authentic, themselves, queer, open and imo most importantly, joyously so. One is often told "just be yourself" but that can be hard to do when it seems like the world is against you for one reason or another.

Seeing a creator like Chuck shows how important it is to have such a presence in the world, and I was glad I got to tell him myself. I've had a lot of hardships in life, a lot of losses, a lot of grief, but someone like Chuck is there to tell you to keep trotting and remind you; Love Is Real.

And that's truly the ending message:

Love Is Real.

[sancta-seraphina]

Hi, I hope this isn't too complex a question. What books would you recommend for someone looking to get into angels? I'm looking for anything... lore, other novels to read, comics, whatever you can offer

Oh man, please don't apologize, this is exactly my type of question! Also this post got a bit long.

Obviously, there are tons of references for lore. If you're looking for a basic run-down of angels in the Bible itself, I'm writing a series of posts on that subject specifically, even if updates are few and far between right now (I'm so, so sorry, the ballet eats all of my time):

[Biblically Accurate Angels Part I - Seraphim, Cherubim & Ophanim]

[Biblically Accurate Angels Part II - The Named Angels]

This is because the easiest and most accessible information on angels is in the Bible itself (and hey guess what—you can read the Bible for free online! If you need a translation suggestion, I would go for the ESV bibles, and there's a Catholic edition of the ESV if that's an issue. You could also get the NCB which is what I cited)

If you don't mind chewy literature, then I'd say please read Pseudo-Dionysius' De Coelesti Hierarchia, or St. Thomas Aquinas' Summa Theologica. I cite both of these in my posts on angels since they're rather standard sources of information on them, and they're also where the Catholic church gets its canon from.

A great reference, even if I don't particularly agree with everything stated in it, is Gustav Davidson's A Dictionary of Angels. Most people look at it for angel names, but I'm very interested in his sources, since many of them I've not yet managed to get my little paws on.

I'm not even going to get into my favorite sources of angel lore because this is enough for someone just looking to start. I can do a separate post on those if people want them.

Now. Moving on from lore.

For classic literature, my two obvious recommendations are for The Divine Comedy and Paradise Lost. Over on IG, myself and Jami (@a-thenais) made a little book recommendation post. [You can find it here]. Being the angels nerds we are, everything is pretty on theme and has poetry, scripture, classics... the only thing we didn't do is current angel literature.

So for that, if you want a popular series, than I'd say go take a look at @nicosraf's Angels trilogy, especially since he just announced a new short novel coming out in December!

I personally also like @marsadler's First Creation, although I'd recommend his works mainly for horror fans.

And lastly, if you don't mind waiting/are keeping a list of angel books that are coming out, well, of course I'd suggest my own series [The Divine Tragedy], even if horror isn't everyone's cup of tea. The main series (Holiest, The Harrowing, & Heresiarch) and the series of novellas (The Infernal Apocrypha) are heavy on the horror, but in my last project, the Sepher Metatron, only the third part has horror in it, and the rest of it is more palatable to non-horror fans (the very first part of the book is also fully illustrated)

But if you can read Italian, then I'd also suggest @a-thenais' Nova Apocrypha Vulgata series! These are three novels (Thanatos, Hybris, & Afasia) that she is working towards publishing, and a few additional works too. You can read about them on her tumblr, and I've done multiple fanarts for them. We also tend to consider TDT and NAV 'twins', so if TDT is something you want to read, NAV will also something you'd probably like!

If you want to follow some angel artists, then please check out my pals @ultrainfinitepit (who makes gorgeous angel pins which I hoard) and @helplessavacado, both of whom have their own unique styles and stories as well.

[blacknedsoul-blog]

Lenore Vandernatch: the rogue, the gothic heroine and the courtly knight. A review of archetypes

Okay, after going over my notes, here we are again. In case you don't know what this is all about, here is the first of these posts where I'm doing a review of some of the archetypes that Annabel and Lenore seem to be taking notes on.

Just so this doesn't end up being another 3000 word post, let's get started.

The Rogue

In 1554, the first written version of "El Lazarillo de Tormes" was published, the foundational work of what would become known in Spain as the "picaresque novel": stories centered on the rogue, a poor rascal who uses trickery to ensure his survival.

At this stage of the game, we have rogues in a variety of flavors and colors. It would be difficult to make a comprehensive list, so let's talk about these characters in general.

The first thing to note is that rogues are, by definition, outsiders. In the traditional picaresque, the rogue is simply someone from the lower classes, but as this archetype has grown, it has become less about class and more about criminality.

Yes. Rogues are criminals: thieves like Robin Hood, swindlers like the Lazarillo...

Fraud, arson. You name it.

Getting back to the issue of the rogue as an outsider, they may have been one from the start, or they may have become one after attaining their criminal status. Regardless of the reason, these people operate outside of the law, the authorities generally give a shit, and, depending on your rogue flavor, may even actively fight against it.

One thing to note here: this goes a bit beyond Lenore's rebellious attitude. Like a good rogue, she derives enormous personal satisfaction from the thought of getting her way. The world has turned its back on the rogue, so the rogue will not hesitate to turn her back on the world.

In Lenore's case, this attitude of throwing all authority to the wind and actively ignoring any rules imposed on her is a mixture of personality and trauma. In the flashbacks, we see that Lenore has always had a certain disdain for protocol and formalities, but of course, after being locked up for at least a year because the rules of the society she lives in have decided to make her an outcast for her brother 's death, she no longer finds any reason to listen to what they have to say to her. The rules will never go beyond the feeling that she has agency over her life.

From this follows the methods of the rogues: opportunism is one of their hallmarks. Ingenuity, cunning, and creativity are common traits among these characters, something that is usually tied to their status as outsiders and criminals; they don't care about rules, so they think outside the box, either because they are highly intelligent or because they lack common sense.

Maybe both.

So, yes, when Annabel tells her dashing rogue, she's not wrong in the least. But there are more interesting things to look at here

The Gothic Heroine

When some theorists say that Gothic heroines are bland and uninteresting characters, it's...true. But there's a reason for that, so let me get that out of the way for a moment: the image of the maiden in this period is used as a symbol of purity, chastity, goodness, and her corruption, death, or disease works on both a literal and metaphorical level. It is like when you see grotesque religious images in horror movies, there is a powerful and disturbing charge in the idea of seeing something "pure" destroyed.

So the thing about gothic heroines is that, at worst, they are not characters who contribute to the story they are in, but tokens, quasi-sacred representations who are there to die, get sick, or fall victim to a villain who might sexually harass them. Yes, unpleasant.

But good gothic heroines (besides possibly having tuberculosis) are characters with arcs related to corruption, especially mental corruption. And this is where it gets interesting.

But we go from less to more. In her flashbacks, Lenore's physical appearance is almost exactly that of a gothic novel protagonist: pale, almost cadaverous, slender, languid in her movements (because, in this case, she's drugged a significant percentage of the time), and long hair.

Her background in this part of the story, like that of the best gothic heroines, is one of mental corruption: she is here, imprisoned, withering and losing her mind, giving in to despair. There are those who point out a rather strong resemblance between the scene where Lenore tears the flowered wallpaper from her room and the short story The Yellow Wallpaper by the writer Charlotte Perkins. And although this story is not gothic, it definitely retains the most important trope of the genre.

Another element in which we can find Lenore is in the Gothic ballad of the same name, written by Gottfried Bürger in 1773. This poem tells the story of Lenore, a girl condemned by narrative for blaspheming against heaven after the death of her beloved, who is later visited by the Grim Reaper himself to take her to him.

A heartbroken woman committing blasphemy in the name of a lost love? I wonder if that sounds familiar.

And if I had to point out one particular gothic heroine with whom Lenore shares important similarities, it would be Laura from Carmilla.

With the first, she shares two very important things: isolation and a penchant for women who can murder her, a complicated relationship with a gothic vampire.

Laura lives in complete isolation from the world, with the only company of maids and her father; within the first few chapters, we know that she can barely remember the last time she had the company of a woman her own age. Like Lenore in the flashbacks, Laura is something of a secret, hidden from the world (though for less horrific reasons).

And that isolation is broken by the arrival of an elegant, almost supernaturally beautiful upper-class lady who almost kicks in her door with a "Hi, I want to be friends. You'll like me."

Both Laura and Lenore are not afraid of the vampire, though they are not unaware of her strange behavior and will raise a puzzled eyebrow at her promises of affection, as well as her obvious tendency to insist on a fucked-up secret that they are in the middle of and can't share. Another important detail is that both characters have a certain difficulty in describing their feelings as romantic: both are very obviously obsessed with this mysterious lady who has come to interrupt their loneliness, but Laura never fails to refer to Carmilla as her "friend" (a behavior that the modern reader may interpret, with more than fair reason, as comphet), and Lenore is little more than that, at least until the mansion arch where the shingle falls on her.

Last but not least, just as Lenore is treated as "crazy," there are several events in Laura's life (such as her first encounter with Carmilla when she was a child) or that occur throughout the novel that are dismissed by those around her as her being a little touched in the head.

The courtly knight

Here it is necessary to make a distinction: knights are a far-reaching figure, but before and during the Middle Ages they mainly starred in two types of stories: the canta de gesta (which was intended to tell great deeds of inspiration for certain peoples, such as the Song of Mio Cid in Spain or the Song of the Nibelungs in Germany. This last one is the best Canto de gesta in history, I do not accept arguments) and the Novel of chivalry or courtly (focused on the individual story of the knight and introduces elements of the court).

What is the main difference between the knight of the canto de gesta and the knight of the court? Well... the latter is much more horny. And we are talking about Lenore, so you have until the end of this paragraph to imagine which of these knights we are talking about.

The first thing to keep in mind is that the Courtly Knight has a pretty strong moral compass: nobility, mercy, loyalty, and honor are values they firmly believe in; these characters are heroes, and that means that while they are not perfect, they represent ideals that are considered important in this time. And we're talking about vassalage, so you get it.

This is the first thing Lenore has in common with the knights of the court: her strong sense of morality. Yes, she's not afraid to play dirty like a rogue, but she's pretty clear about what things are important to her in that regard, and she's willing to uphold those ideals even in the context of Nevermore, which actively encourages its students to kill and betray each other.

However, the personal agendas of these knights have one important thing in common: the conflict between their own desires and their duty.

What are those desires? Well...

Good courtly knights usually have to choose between their love/sexual interests and where their personal loyalties lie, which, due to the era in which these stories take place, are usually their feudal lords or even kings.

We already established that Lenore doesn't give a shit about authority, but her personal loyalty is to her friends. And this is where it gets tricky for her: So far in the comic, Lenore has kept her relationship with Annabel a secret from her friends, and she has kept the fact that she wants to save her friends a secret from Annabel. A conflict that may eventually blow up in her face, and on the face of it, really befits a courtly knight (though if she were a real one, the Misfits might ask her to kill the Deans or something in exchange for accepting her relationship with Annabel).

To continue with this, we need to stop for a moment and talk about another little thing: courtly love. There are many definitions of it, but my favorite is the one that defines it as an attempt to reconcile mystical love with eroticism. Fun fact: these stories were written in the Provençal language, something that would associate romantic tropes with "vulgar language".

In any case, courtly love usually speaks of the beloved maiden as an idealized object, a figure who inspires an almost religious devotion. And the most recurrent theme within courtly love is what is called "love from afar": it focuses more on the journey in search of the beloved than on the couple's relationship as such (this journey can be literal or metaphorical), the knight has symbols associated with the pilgrim, there is a certain hatred of the image, the maiden is seen as an almost religious figure, and...

Yes, the color associated with the so-called "love from afar", specifically with the beloved maiden, is damn blue.

Now that we've got all that out of the way, it's time to break down why Lenore fulfills some of these things and why she doesn't.

Going with the tropes that are fulfilled, we can say that Lenore is on a more or less metaphorical journey. A journey to recover her memories and her identity. One at the end of which her lover waits for her "until the abyss claims them both".

Like a knight, Lenore is willing to make great personal sacrifices in pursuit of the things she cares about: she is willing to die for the people she cares about (the misfits) and for her lover (Annabel). The Living Long Thing is something the Knight don't know about, and since Lenore is in Nevermore, apparently neither does she.

With all that said, it's worth noting the biggest difference: courtly love features relationships based on vassalage and a huge power differential. Something that does not happen here. No, Lenore calling Annabel "my liege" doesn't count.

To explain this further -and to summarize, because it's a subject that bloody books have been written about-t he relationships in courtly love have two different levels of power: the knight must perform feats to be worthy of affection, and the maiden is little more than a prize to be won.

This unbalanced power dynamic is something that simply does not exist in the White Raven: an important part of their relationship is that both are equal in charisma, intelligence, and resourcefulness. The unstoppable force and the immovable object. Annabel is as willing to die for Lenore as she is for herself, and Lenore would probably go into berserker mode if anyone dared to treat Annabel as a prize.

Yes, you could argue that the balance of power is a bit weighted toward Lenore because Annabel is willing to make sacrifices for her that Lenore wouldn't make because she has some, you know, morals. But I think that has more to do with Annabel's character than her relationship with Lenore (that's another analysis I have a pin for when the season is over).

Conclusions

If the archetypes that Annabel seems to take note of are all quite related, Lenore, on the contrary, is much more like a mosaic: these characters have little in common and some (like the Rogue and the Knight) directly contradict each other. This woman is chaotic in her conception: opportunistic and rebellious as a rogue, pious and with strong values as a knight, and condemned by the narrative as a gothic heroine.

Another thing that stands out is that two of these three archetypes are traditionally male characters. Personally, I don't think Lenore is "like a man": her entire background and personal history is meant to work in terms of her status as a woman in the time period she lives in. She can do all the shit these male heroes do and better (though the hc that Lenore is somewhere on the non-binary spectrum is not a reading that conflicts with that).

And I use the word "hero" because another detail stands out here as well: yes, many of these characters are not only often the protagonists of the stories they are in, they are heroes within their historical periods and literary movements.

I'm going to do a third part of this comparing Lenore's archetypes to Annabel's because, believe me, there's some really crazy stuff to unpack there.

[dee-the-red-witch]

how did you get past “just being gnc”? asking for me, i’ve been in that mindset on and off for years. if you don’t mind sharing

I... okay, look, that's like a question with two other subtextual ones rolled up into it in a donut all at once. And I have an all-day road trip tomorrow, so I don't have a ton of spoons to spare, but I'm still gonna try and tackle all three. And I'm gonna hit the subtext questions first, because they're important and play into it. 1. What's a good way to come out as trans?

There fucking isn't one. For anyone of any gender. There is no perfect way for anyone to come out. It will always be awkward, there's always going to be some kind of price to pay, and you are never going to know that full price up front. It's also just about always less than the price of NOT coming out, though. 2. What's a good way for *ME* to come out as trans?

Okay, this one ties into my own story some, but the shorter version? I don't know. I can't tell you. Because I don't know your details and what's going to work for you or how. What I can tell you is that nobody is going to magically guess it for you, no one's going to give you permission to do it, and you're gonna have to start it yourself. There's folks that will absolutely help later down the line, but you have to initiate and start things, even if it's babysteps. Case in point... 3. ENOUGH SUBTEXT, DENICE, how'd YOU get past just being a guy?

It's complicated. I'd been in denial since the late 90's. so there was a LOT of personal bullshit, and art, and other work, and everything, packed up in and around my gender like mad. Like a wad of gum with a bunch of other stuff stuck to it- and sometimes when a piece finally got pulled free, part of the gum came up with it. Bad analogy, probably. Still. When I finished writing, and laying out, and publishing my first book (and practically screaming HI! IT ME! AM TRANS! in the afterword and other bits, because that's what happens when I write a historical horror novel with a GNC-transmasc-ish protag) I felt empty. Hollow. For months. I was trying and struggling to get a second book off the ground, and having this weight start settling over my head. Only it was like three months early for my usual denial ideation episode. Meanwhile, on facebook, my friend J who was dealing with the tail end aftershocks of a nasty divorce from an even nastier asshole. And of course she was going off about a very rational distrust and dislike of Men and some of their behaviors in particular, and I just had that goddamn black wave of ideation set in on me in full and was mentally internally screaming "But I'm not a fucking man!" and I did the one thing I'd never done in twenty plus years of dysphoria, denial and ideation. I said it out loud. Nobody in the apartment to even hear me. But I said it. And repeated it. And so help me, that depression/denial/ideation wave that I knew was going to end with me hurting myself or worse started immediately fading. I started switching my pronouns over to they/them on my social medias almost immediately. Like I said. Baby steps. But it was enough- one of my partners noticed the update and flat out asked me about it the next time she was over, and that's how I ended up coming out as nonbinary to both her and the rest of my immediate family. And a few days later online all over as well. Realizing I was a girl took a bit, because enby felt right, but not all the way right. I'd started t-blockers already because I knew I had dysphoria issues (just no idea how serious they were) and then started E. All of which was made easier by being in an informed-consent state and having a doctor who had zero issues with prescribing them, and more than a little bit of a mad scientist nature. Three days into Estrogen I just had this one weird moment of driving and hitting a sunny patch of road and suddenly I was happy and laughing in a way I'd NEVER been. That's when it started really clicking for me. When I realized that what had been holding me back was a lot of internalized shame and conditioning that I needed to unpack and get rid of. That's all where I started. (and yes, it meant a whole extra round of comings out and updates and everything, but well, here I am.) I hope that wall of text helps some? But yeah. Take baby steps. Things move from there as you figure it out. But you can't figure it out while you're holding yourself back.

[starful02]

Life is wild sometimes. I made a small decision almost a year ago, based on a recommendation of one of the most positive individuals to ever grace my life so far, and I firmly believe that it has changed the course of my life. The decision was to sign up for a class about fantasy writing and publishing that my university was offering, which is the exact genre I so desperately want to have a career in (I want to be a writer you see). That fall I took the 8 week class and it happened to be taught by none other than the absolutely wonderful, utterly amazing fantasy author Alex Rowland (aka @ariaste). If you asked myself or any of my peers, we will happily tell you that this class was one of the comfiest, kindest, most encouraging academic experiences we have ever had and that it has changed our lives. Anyone who has taken at least one creative writing class in their life will tell you of the horrors that ruthlessly plague them and all sorts of traumatic incidents endured. This class was a soothing balm to a disheartened soul with trampled ambitions. You might be wondering where I'm going with this? Well, when you take a class with an author, they tend to gush rather happily about their work. It did not take long for me to know in my heart of hearts that I NEEDED to get my hands on Alex's latest book, A Taste of Gold and Iron (aka ATOGAI). And when I finally got the perfect chance to read it a little over a month ago, when I tell you, it was chapter five when I became undeniably aware that this book had snatched my heart and I would gladly let it have it for the rest of my life. If I hadn't already bought all of Alex's books on a strong hunch that I would absolutely, completely and utterly fall in love with ATOGAI, I would have definitely right after I finished that chapter. This is inarguably one of the best books I have ever read, checking all my boxes (including ones I didn't even know I had). I don't think it's possible to praise it enough because it deserves it all. The wait I endured before I could read it was so worth it and I will be forever grateful for the sheer chance that it and it's author entered into my life. It shattered my high expectations and I will never be the same and couldn't be happier about it. Now, I still have to read the other books that Alex has written (and I will savor them like a piece of the finest of desserts and I haven't the slightest doubt, despite that I tend to be more on the quiet side, I will be absolutely mouthing off about them to anyone who will listen), but I want to specifically highlight their upcoming book, Running Close to the Wind (aka RCW). Because I was in their class and a part of their Discord, I have been treated to several chapters of the book and I can very firmly tell you that you need this in your life. It's terribly funny, utterly vibrant, very queer, full of gremlin chaos and pirate shenanigans, all good and wonderful things, right? I knew I needed it in my life half way through Alex reading chapter two to us. It comes out in June of this year and I so highly recommend you give it a look see. You can read an excerpt in the link below!

And if you too decide that you need this book in your life, go preorder it and then come join a Discord full of awesome queer pocket people that are also terribly excited for this book to be in our hands! I will also be posting fanart of ATOGAI and RCW if you also want to keep an eye on this little habitat of mine. :) Either way, best wishes and happy reading!

[fictionyoubelieve]

This is a VERY long text post.

thanks @squareallworthy for giving me the excuse to make a House of Leaves post!! I'm going to try to make this accessible to everyone, so:

If you haven't read HoL, feel free to bail if this goes too deep or stops making sense. Personally, I don't think you need to worry about spoilers because it's not that kind of book (it usually spoils itself anyway), but if you'd rather go in knowing nothing, slam that J key now.

If you have read HoL, feel free to skip ahead to the theories. You're presumably good at tuning out extraneous information by now. :)

What is House of Leaves?

House of Leaves is a novel by Mark Z. Danielewski (MZD), published in 2000. It's an example of postmodern literature, which according to Wikipedia is:

a form of literature that is characterized by the use of metafiction, unreliable narration, self-reflexivity, intertextuality, and which often thematizes both historical and political issues.

...all of which is House of Leaves to a T. Rather than capturing a single narrative, the book's text layers multiple stories, which refer to both each other and to external (e.g. mythical) stories, and which often reference the fact that they are stories in a book.

You can find it archived here, though unfortunately that scan/OCR seems to mangle the text in ways that will be hard to distinguish from everything else it's got going on.

Overall, I think the book is really cool and interesting, but maybe not worth sinking a ton of time and effort into. It's not a fun or easy read. Definitely worth checking out, but don't be afraid to skim or abandon it if it's not your thing.

The layers of HoL

The innermost layer is The Navidson Record (TNR), which is ostensibly a documentary but effectively a found-footage horror film. It's a series of films about the Navidson family--an unmarried couple with two young children--moving into a house in Virginia, and discovering that something is very strange about it. First subtly and then dramatically, the interior of the house grows and changes, in defiance of physical laws. One closet in particular becomes an eerie and seemingly infinite labyrinth, which they explore at their peril. (Don't worry--the overall novel is creepy and sometimes upsetting, but not outright scary. I'm a weenie about horror and had no trouble.)

The next layer is a pseudo-academic text about TNR by a blind man named Zampanò. He recounts the events of TNR, but also meanders on long tangents about other stories or academic works.

The third layer is the primary one we experience as the book House of Leaves. A character calling himself Johnny Truant discovered the disorganized and incomplete manuscript in Zampanò's apartment after that man's death, and he has assembled and edited it into this book, as well as added an introduction and lengthy footnotes relating stories from his own life. Johnny often contradicts himself, freely admits to making things up or changing the previous layers to suit his whims, and appears to mentally deteriorate over the course of the novel. He also says he can't find any evidence that TNR actually exists.

There's a thin layer added by "the Editors," who supposedly received the text from Johnny, and published it while in contact with him. They add some appendices and minor notes throughout, mainly to provide English translations for certain excerpts or to state that something the text refers to is missing. They include a purported still frame from TNR in the appendices, with no comment from Johnny.

All of the above, of course, was actually written by MZD, the real-life author of HoL. He self-published the earliest version of HoL to the internet, before publishing the full version as a physical book. He also produced some teleplays related to the work, and a collection of letters from Johnny's mother. The letters were originally published separately, but now most of them are included as an appendix to HoL. MZD's sister, the singer-songwriter Poe, also released the album Haunted around the same time as HoL, and it serves as a companion or counterpart to the novel.

The final layer is us, the readers. We interact with the text and also with each other, like I'm doing with this post. MZD's website still hosts forum threads from the time the book came out, where readers deciphered and theorized about it together. This is an important and intentional aspect of the work, as I'll explain in more detail later (see "The Meta").

Sub-stories

There are a few smaller anecdotes within the text which almost serve as their own layers, but don't fit neatly into the hierarchy above:

The Chiclitz play The Minotaur, on p110-111

The story of The Atrocity, on p297-300

The story of the changeling/cyanotic child, on p518-521 and referenced obliquely on p48-49

Themes and motifs

A non-exhaustive and highly subjective list, ordered very roughly from the most to least prominent:

The Greek myth of the Minotaur and the labyrinth

House

Madness, memory, and meaning

The sea and the sky

Darkness, absence, emptiness

Yggdrasil, the world tree; trees, leaves, and paper; the Cumaean Sibyl

Fidelity (in multiple senses of the word)

Colors, especially red/blue or red/blue/green/yellow

Death and rebirth, procreation, the womb

The biblical myth of Abraham and his sons

The biblical myth of Jonah and the Whale

The eye, cameras

Head injuries, holes in the head

Families, especially parents and twins/pairs of siblings

Note that there are connections and overlap between these themes. I'm going to argue that the first few in particular are strongly intertwined.

The Meta

Most of the fan theories I've seen are focused on the usual concerns: "what do you think really happened in the story? what does this mean for the characters?" That's reasonable, but since HoL is extremely aware of itself and its readers, I think it's also worth asking what the text expects from us or what it's trying to communicate directly, if anything. IMO those questions are easier to answer than nailing down the events of the story, and that's on purpose.

While rightfully regarded as a challenging and puzzling book, HoL actually is pretty blatant about helping us "solve" most of it. Heck, it color-codes its major motifs. There were many instances where I was like "oh, this reminds me of that other part from a ways back" and then the footnote would tell me to refer back to that part I was remembering. When there's an encoded message, like the Morse code or first-letter sections, Johnny typically makes a comment providing the key to decoding it--and in some cases also tells us the "hidden message," like in his conversation with the band near the end of the book.

The book straight-up tells you how to read it. On p115, just before it starts getting really wild with the typesetting in a section structured like a maze, Zampanò's text gives this advice for navigating mazes:

In order to escape then, we have to remember we cannot ponder all paths but must decode only those necessary to get out. We must be quick and anything but exhaustive.

The next footnote (139) also warns: "[in a maze,] the faster you go, the worse you are entangled" and "If one reads too quickly or too slowly, one understands nothing."

And of course, the book provides an extensive (albeit somewhat playful) index, so that if you have a theory about a certain word or concept, you can easily go back and look up examples. I believe the page numbers also match up across editions, so that different readers can more easily confer with one another.

All of this strongly suggests that MZD very much wants us to view the text as a puzzle to decode with other readers. He makes sure we know there are patterns and hidden messages to be found.

The madness of analysis

Like I mentioned above, Johnny's mental state deteriorates over the course of the book. A lot of his story also has to do with his late mother, who was committed to a psychiatric institution when he was young, and who shows similar quirks and inconsistencies in her letters to Johnny. The reader is quickly clued in that Johnny is an unreliable narrator, and by the end of the book it's nearly impossible to untangle what "really happened" in Johnny's narrative because there are so many revisions and contradictions.

Zampanò's writing may seem like a sharp contrast to Johnny's, since it is stuffy and academic rather than casual and coarse. But the two strongly parallel each other, as do the two characters. They both ramble and are prone to lengthy tangents based on tenuous connections; Zampanò seems to make things up and messily add and redact just as Johnny does with his stories. Both seem haunted by and obsessed with the manuscript in similar ways.

Other HoL readers have called it a satire of academic texts, but I'd go a step farther and say it's drawing a parallel between (perhaps overzealous) academic analysis and psychosis: seeing patterns or connections where there are none, jumping to wildly different and sometimes bizarre conclusions from the same experience, getting lost in theories with little connection to reality, communicating in ways that are hard for others to understand.

It even encourages its readers to engage in the same behavior, by hinting at many different patterns and connections yet making them inconsistent, uncertain, and contradictory. It goads you into trying to analyze it, but you'll just end up like Charlie in the Pepe Silvia meme:

Derrida's Deconstruction

Wait, so does that mean it's futile to try to analyze House of Leaves? Well, sort of, and the book tells us this! Remember that part (see "The Meta") that was giving us advice on how to navigate a maze, i.e. the book? On that same page, p115, it also says:

Unfortunately, the anfractuosity of some labyrinths may actually prohibit a permanent solution. More confounding still, its complexity may exceed the imagination of even the designer. Therefore anyone lost within must recognize that no one, not even a god or an Other, comprehends the entire maze and so therefore can never offer a definitive answer. [In the Navidson house,] any way out remains singular and applicable only to those on that path at that particular time. All solutions then are necessarily personal.

This sounds a lot like Deconstruction and Post-Structuralism, which isn't a coincidence given that Derrida was just quoted on p112. From the Wikipedia page on Deconstruction:

Derrida's deconstruction strategy is also used by postmodernists to locate meaning in a text rather than discover meaning due to the position that it has multiple readings.

It's probably also relevant that most of the book is about Johnny interpreting a text after the literal death of the author.

Footnote 140, which comes after "even the designer" in the above excerpt, includes this, in red and crossed out:

Or in other words: shy from the sky. No answer lies there. It cannot care, especially for what it no longer knows. Treat that place as a thing unto itself, independent of all else, and confront it on those terms. You alone must find the way. No one else can help you. Every way is different. And if you do lose yourself at least take solace in the absolute certainty that you will perish.

This ties the more general advice on interpreting texts back to the specific narratives in HoL. Before we dig into that more in the next section, note that Derrida was also a fan of putting things "under erasure" by crossing them out. Hmm...

Madness and the Minotaur

In multiple ways, the Minotaur is associated with absence. Most obviously, text mentioning it by name usually only appears in red and crossed out--Johnny says these are sections he recovered after Zampanò tried to erase them. The Minotaur also seems to be absent within TNR; the labyrinth of the House suggests its presence through growls and slash marks, but a beast never actually appears, and instead, things within the labyrinth seem to gradually fade out of existence. In myth, of course, the Minotaur was removed from society by hiding it in the labyrinth, and was eventually slain by Theseus, obliterating it forever.

On p335 we get footnote 295, again in red and crossed out:

At the heart of the labyrinth waits the Mi[ ]taur and like the Minotaur of myth its name is [ ] Chiclitz treated the maze as trope for psychic concealment, its excavation resulting in (tragic[ ] reconciliation. But if in Chiclitz's eye the Minotaur was a son imprisoned by a father's shame, is there then to Navidson's eye an equivalent misprision of the [ ] in the depths of that place? And for that matter does there exist a chance to reconcile the not known with the desire for its antithesis?

(The footnote continues, making the shape of a sword with large gaps in the blade.) Empty brackets in this section supposedly denote burnt holes in the manuscript, but since they are consistently used to make puns, it's clear that at least one of the authors is being intentional. We could read the gaps here as literal: the name of the Minotaur is [nothing], the labyrinth conceals the treacherous [nothing] in its depths.

The chapter that footnote appears in (Chapter 13), which is titled The Minotaur, begins with a quote that is translated as so (p313):

a slow shadow spreads across the prairie, but still, the act of naming it, of guessing what is its nature and its circumstances creates a fiction, not a living creature, not one of those who wander on the earth.

In this poem, El otro tigre, Borges compares a tiger in a poem, made of words and symbols, to "the other tiger" of flesh and blood, out in the wild. No matter how he tries to capture it with writing, the real tiger will always elude him.

So the Minotaur is connected to absence, nothingness, emptiness, and so on. This chapter draws additional associations with death and madness, which of course are also forms of loss or absence--both of self, and of meaning.

Is Johnny the Minotaur?

Johnny is strongly associated with the Minotaur, but his exact relationship with it is more complex than simply "Johnny is the Minotaur" or "the Minotaur represents Johnny". He is stalked by the creature in various forms, and he has nightmares or delusions in which he is the Minotaur. Raymond, the abusive foster dad, calls Johnny "beast". I think it's most accurate to say he is scared of the Minotaur and scared of being or becoming it, especially if we're interpreting it as nothingness or madness. And we know how his story ends.

There's another association I make with Johnny which isn't as explicit and doesn't seem to have been discussed as much, and that is to Icarus. There are hints of this early on--his father is a pilot, he's strongly associated with the sea and drowning, his fantasy when he meets Thumper sounds like flying--but it's brought home in the story about getting the scars on his arms, on page 505, and all the allusions and imagery. He burns and then drowns.

Zampanò, likewise, is like Daedalus. He built the labyrinth that is the manuscript, and which traps both Johnny and himself. There are some suggestions in the text that he and Johnny are like figurative (or in some theories, literal) father and son. But Daedalus, unlike Perilaus, was able to free himself from his own invention, and it seems like this wasn't true for Zampanò.

(This may be too much of a pet theory; I'm not sure it's as well-supported as the other parts of this post. But there's something there, I'm pretty sure.)

House

A house is a structure that defines empty space and imbues it with meaning by separating it from the greater nothingness. The novel is likewise a structure that gives form to a particular nothingness (fiction) by defining it and separating it from the greater nothingness (everything else that has not happened).

As readers, we follow a narrative "thread" through the text, but encounter only the Minotaur (nothingness) within. Just as the Minotaur in Chiclitz's play was portrayed sympathetically, the absence does not need to be bad or monstrous--it's just nothing. As we see in the key shape of footnote 123 (p110-111), the Minotaur is the key, but there is no Minotaur. There is no key. The key is crossed out (both the text comprising it, and the key itself, by being split across two pages). Perhaps we "slay" this Minotaur by imposing our own meaning? Would that be noble or tragic?

The house itself is what matters, but the house is blue, and blue means open to interpretation--what a blue screen meant in the 90s, before digital film became the norm. Everyone projects their own thoughts and fears onto the house, and it reflects those back at them. It's meaning and memory; you get out of it exactly what you bring. Blue is shifting and unfathomable like the sea. You could lose yourself in its depths.

Though "out of the blue" specifically seems more like a deus ex machina, because I'm pretty sure the blue of the sky is associated with God, eyes/cameras/observers, and us (MZD and the readers), though I don't have examples prepared to back that up. "Shy from the sky" (see "Derrida's Deconstruction") could then be taken as "don't look to the author for answers".

But if there is any meaning to be found, it also can't be found looking only within the text and the world it defines, without considering those final layers. The stories all intertwine and even loop back on themselves, as when Navidson and Johnny both encounter their own book. Using the HoL to light your way through HoL will lead nowhere. You'll need help from the outside.

So?

Okay, okay, okay. So what?

"SO?" asks the text (p103), and maybe you do, too. Sew buttons, says the Morse code of footnote 119 on the same page. Dismissing the question? Or suggesting you work hard to secure your buttons with a whole spool of thread, as Johnny does near the end (p514) to avoid losing them to the labyrinth?

Shortly after, on p516, Johnny writes this:

Wasn’t darkness nothingness? Wasn’t that Navidson's discovery? Wasn’t it Zampanò's? Or have I misconstrued it all? Missed the obvious, something still undiscovered waiting there deep within me, outside of me, powerful and extremely patient, unafraid to remain, even though it is and always has been free.

This (and some of his other writing late in the story) reads to me like possibly an acknowledgement or dim awareness of reality outside the book, but I'm not sure. I'm just going to point to it, and also the part a little further down the page, where he describes a sunset as "Reds finally marrying blues."

How do we reconcile red and blue? Is it about reconciling ourselves to the lack of true meaning, as in Nihilism? Or choosing to focus only on the "real", refusing to lose ourselves in the endless cycle of interpretation?

I don't know. There's probably more that can be built on this foundation, but this is as far as I've gotten. If you actually got through all that, wow, thanks for reading, and by all means let me know your own thoughts.

[paraphwrites]

11, 33, and 52 for the get to know your writer game?

11) 3 fav fics right now

i'll admit i've actually been on a wolfstar kick lately, but as this is mostly a dbda blog, i'll link my 3 fav dbda fics

ghosts and archers by @justafandomfollower. it's so gruesome, so angsty, the epitome of hurt/comfort. it's that perfect mix of horror-romance-death. 10/10 like watching a horror movie but words

that's how we healed each other by @starcrossedstarfishes is a GLORIOUS soulmates au. the hurt, the comfort, the tears, the love. devastating read. 10/10 i cried so many times i can't even count

wunderkummer by dear_monday and two_ravens is one of those fics where i think it's too smart for me?? everything from the world building to the descriptions are just insane. 10/10 i got so caught up in it all

33) do i want to be published some day?

very very much so! it's something i am working towards. currently, i'm in the process of writing a chapbook, which i hope to publish before i graduate (ambitious goals, but). i have very strong outlines two for novels which i will write (and hopefully get published) after.

being published has always been a dream of mine. it's something i am going to start working towards soon. i am incredibly fulfilled by writing fanfiction and i don't intend to stop, but also, i would love to turn writing into some form of profession

so hey if ur a publisher hit me up

52) do i respond to comments, why or why not?

so generally not, unless someone's making a correction or asking a question. of course i read every single comment i get (sometimes multiple times lol). but when i started on ao3 (all those eight months ago) i did not realize that was a thing authors did. also, i wasn't a "public figure" whatsoever (no tumblr or anything) so there was a bit more distance between me and my lovely readers, many of whom i am friends with more. but i was 15 and just starting off and a bit shy, so i did not end up, and then that just sort of became how i do things

[glassamphibians]

how did you read so many books??! that’s so cooll

do you have a favorite from this year? :)

most of my reading is done by listening to audiobooks while driving/doing chores/etc! I moved to receiving at work this year too which means I get to listen to books while I unpack books for like seven hours straight it rules. For physical books i literally just always have one on me and take it out whenever i can.

I read so many good books this year I Cannot narrow it down to just one so I'm doing ten under the read more <3

GLASS AMPHIBIANS 2024 FAVES BY GENRE KIND OF IF YOU SQUINT:

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark: This book is just so vibrant. I was immediately in love with steampunk Cairo and the protagonist, Fatma, is easily one of my favorite female characters of all time. You need to read everything Clark writes i am so serious.

The West Passage by Jared Pechaček: this Expertly conveys incomprehensible enormity and humbling smallness in a way that i have never read before!!! Possibly one of the most unique fantasy novels I've read AND each chapter has beautiful illustrations done by the author! huge for fans of Piranesi or Monument Valley.

The Spear Cuts Through Water by Simon Jimenez: also one of the most unique high fantasies i've ever read this was fucking insane. An experiment in perspective and world building that honestly made me a danger to other people driving do not handle large machinery while trying to follow this. This is a love story to its blade-dented bone.

Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler: Duh. Post apocalyptic novels full of spiteful, unrelenting optimism and compassion are the most important things in the world. genre ever. idk what else to say like its octavia butler of course its gonna be on here

A Mask of Flies by Matthew Lyons: one of those horror novels that i desperately need to see made into a movie. For some reason I started this thinking there was no supernatural aspect and jesus christ was i wrong there's a Creature in here!!!! a very gross and scary and weird one!!! So action packed with a disgruntled, dislikable female protagonist I would literally follow to the ends of the earth she's so kick ass.

The Bog Wife by Kay Chronister: a more literary horror novel that i can really only describe as damp. I seriously considered dunking my copy in a creek so its appearance would better match whats going on inside. This fucked up family dynamic and decaying, sodden mansion was so up my alley, and Chronister's prose was so easy to fall into.

Enter Ghost by Isabella Hammad: An actress returns to Palestine and ends up involved in a contentious production of Hamlet in the West Bank. Hammad's prose is unreal. She published a speech on Palestine and storytelling this year that goes perfectly with this book. The protagonist's relationship with Palestine is beautifully explored I could not put this book down.

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: This is an extremely introspective, character driven novel about transfemininity and motherhood that I read in march and have thought about at least once a week since. Peters captures the messiness and complexities of queer identities so perfectly. She has new book coming out in 2025 that i am frothing at the mouth waiting for.

In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado: A memoir and a poem and a horror novel and a film criticism and a choose-your-own-adventure story and so much more. Machado plays with genres and tropes in order to articulate her time in an abusive lesbian relationship. Incredibly creative and addictive read, Machado is so talented. My mom had to stop me from trying to read this while waiting for a wedding to start.

The Women's House of Detention by Hugh Ryan: Researched with so much care and time, this follows the history of this prison and the lives of the people who were incarcerated there. Some are famous, like Angela Davis, but the vast majority of its inhabitants were forgotten. Ryan specifically follows queer individuals and looks at how the Women's House of Detention impacted the queer history and culture of Greenwhich Village. Must read for anybody interested in prison abolition.

there were a billion trillion more phenomenal reads this year i love u books i love u reading xoxoxoxo

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Justin C Key's "The World Wasn't Ready For You"

On September 22, I'm (virtually) presenting at the DIG Festival in Modena, Italy. That night, I'll be in person at LA's Book Soup for the launch of Justin C Key's "The World Wasn’t Ready for You." On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine.

The World Wasn't Ready For You is Justin C Key's first book. It's a short story collection, from a major publisher. This is basically unheard of. Big publishers rarely publish collections, and when they do, it's almost always after a string of extremely successful novels:

https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-world-wasnt-ready-for-you-justin-c-key?variant=41016598036514

Yes, there are exceptions. Ted Chiang. Kelly Link.

And now, Justin C Key. To be in such company is, as they say, a big fucking deal.

I can't say I'm surprised. Key was my student at the Clarion West writing workshop – a year full of standout writers among whom Key was still a standout. I was immensely impressed with his work then, and when I found out that he was also an MD and a father, a young man juggling an unimaginably intense work and family schedule and still producing this polished, scary, precise work, I knew he could have great things ahead of him.

But to be honest, I wasn't sure he would write. Key was so obviously brilliant and competent, and had such an important dayjob, that I could easily have imagined him deciding that making up stories was fun, but that it was not nearly so rewarding as his other vocations.

I was wrong – and right. In the years since Clarion, Key's work has acquired a kind of medical precision. When Key stabs you, the knife slides right between your ribs and goes straight into the big arteries of your heart, slicing you so quickly that you hardly notice until you are slain.

These are all horror stories, though some of them are science fiction too, and more to the point, they'r Black horror stories. In his afterword, Key writes about his early fascination with horror, the catharsis he felt in watching nightmares unspool on screen or off the page. And then, he writes, came the dawning recognition that the Black characters in these stories were always there as cannon-fodder, often nameless, usually picked off early.

These stories represent Key's long rumination on the conjunction of Blackness and horror. Of course, that gets back to racism, in the way that, say, Jordan Peele's work does, or in the manner of NK Jemisin's post-Lovecraft Cthuloid tales:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/09/the-old-crow-is-getting-slow/#i-love-ny

But "Black horror" isn't merely parables about racism. In the deft hands of these writers – and now, Key – the stories are horror in which Blackness is a fact, sometimes a central one, and that fact is ever a complication, limiting how the characters move through space, interact with authority, and relate to one another.

The eight stories – mostly long – in The World Wasn't Ready For You deal with parenting, health, prison, corruption, and art – and they do so through hauntings and body horror and tension wound so tight you want to scream.

This is a brilliant and auspicious beginning from a brilliant and auspicious writer.

Key's book launches at LA's Book Soup on September 22, and I'll be there with him as interlocutor. I couldn't be more honored by this, and I hope you'll come out and see us:

https://www.booksoup.com/event/justin-c-key

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/19/justin-c-key/#clarion-west-2015

[dandelion-jester]

Writblr Intro:

Hello All!!!

I've been meaning to do a proper intro so better late then never!

Who Am I?

You can call me Dandelion. I'm 23 years old, I use they/them pronouns, I'm English and I am a queer, trans, neurodivergent fantasy writer. I've not had anything published yet but it's my aim.

I have a background in theatre and circus so performing arts tend to turn up in my work. I also love making maps and studying conlangs! I do a lot of art and reading as hobbies, but my favourite pass time is playing dnd!

What Do I Write?

I write mainly fantasy, but also scifi and historical fiction. I also dabble in poetry and I would like to learn how to write for games and screen at some point. For now though, it's all novel writing as far as the eye can see.

My favourite trope to write is found family (I blame all the dungeons and dragons I play). I also write a lot of queer characters and try to diversify my casts as much as possible. My work tends to be very character driven although I do love world building a lot, especially building different cultures and places. I'm best st dialogue and really struggle with building plots. I also have a deep love for history, specifically the 1700s and Anglo saxon - medieval Britain, so that's usually finds its way into my work as well.

You can find my work on Patreon here

What Do I Read?

Unsurprisingly, it's mostly fantasy. I used to read over 100 books a year, but university made me hit a massive reading slump which I've been slowly recovering from. So the main thing keeping me going right now is Robin Hobb, although ive only got a few of her books left! I also listen to a lot of audiobooks.

My WIPs:

Information on my current work is under the break!!

Feypocalypse

Feypocalypse is a queer, fantasy horror comic set in medieval England following the events of a Fey Apocalypse in the 1300s. It follows a group of knights trying to survive in a world that has been turned into a Fey hunting ground, whilst protecting the Changeling child they accidentally adopted. The current plan is eight issues, to be published on Patreon and then printed as a complete novel at the end! It will be written by myself and illustrated by my amazing co-creator @withlovefromthecrowss.

The Legend of The Rat Bastards (vols. 1 & 2)

Now available to read on my patreon!

I recently finished playing in a Curse of Strahd campaign that lasted about 2 years and was one of the best dnd experiences of my life. So of course, I decided to write it up in novel form so that I and the other players could always return to it. Our paladin was an extremely detailed note taker so I've been borrowing their notes. It's currently the longest piece of writing I’ve ever done and I add to it every day. It's from the pov of my character, a human necromancer called Sepulcrave who has a pretty crazy character arc and it's my current main WIP, even though its a personal project.

Eye of the Falcon King (working title)

A secondary-world medieval fantasy novel about identity, rebellion, and manipulation. In a world where some few people have the ability to shape-shift into birds, the king seeks out these people to be his personal servants, messengers and spies. Turik is a young boy able to turn into a falcon and becomes a member of the King's circle. But after a tragedy befalls his best friend it begins to become apparent that the king is not as benevolent as he seems and Turik must come to terms with the knowledge that his reality is a lie. This book is about breaking free from manipulative forces, the ways invisible disabilities are ignored and pushed aside, and mostly about how the monarchy is terrible. Also queer people because all my stories have queer characters.

Otherlings (working title)

It's 1875 and Eliza Farthing's twin brother Alexander has just reappeared in her life after seven years. Except he's not her twin, he's her changeling. And Eliza isn't always Eliza, sometimes he's Francis. The world's of the two twins - one fey, one queer - are about to become very intertwined against their wishes. The two have to fight against their family, the police, a morally corrupt scientist, inter-community distrust, and their own dislike for each other, or both of them will never regain the lives they so desperately need and desire. Also there's a circus. The book deals with identity, secrecy, hatred, and community. It's a book about found family, about accepting yourself and others, about not needing to be seen to exist and be worth something. Mostly it's about sticking together despite your differences.

So that's my current WIPs! I'll add more as I get them, but that's all for now! Thank you for taking an interest in my work and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to send me an ask :)

Tags I use

#legend of the rat bastards, #eye of the falcon king, #ask dandelion-jester #feypocalypse #otherlings novel

[diudiudiu]

do u have any wenclair fic recommendations?

it's times like this when I wish I was more organised with note keeping or have the memory of something better than a hamster

I haven't been reading (for them and just generally) nearly as much as before I started writing for them. Not bcos I think it disrupts any writing process (can't disrupt no process 😌) but just bcos I don't seem to have as much time

But here's my attempt at a varied-ish list in no particular order:

[M] The Sisyphean Nightmare (16ch) by HonestToBlogJuno Adult Wednesday is contractually obligated to participate in the marketing of her book, to her dismay. Luckily she is married to a werewolf with a communications degree and side-hustle in social media.

[Unrated] you could be the one that i keep (1ch) by overnights - Genie AU And Enid, who’s wished on every star and comet and birthday candle she’s ever seen, looks at Wednesday now and comes up impossibly short of an answer. One wish left, anything in the world at her fingertips, and all she really wants is more time to spend with this enchanted, enchanting mystery of a girl.

[Unrated] backseat (3ch) by reputationstation - Celeb AU Wednesday Addams is a failed fencing prodigy with a once promising career and a troubled past (and if everything goes according to plan, a troubled future as well) who has no intentions of becoming friends with the overly excitable, bubbly girl who calls herself a 'social media influencer', whatever that means. However, like most things in her life, her plans are inevitably thrown off the course.

[Unrated] gifts from a cat (1ch) by Rennajade the one where wednesday is basically just a cat in human form

[T] Dia de los Muertos [now with chapter breaks] (11ch) by WishaDream Wednesday invites Enid over to her house for Dia de los Muertos. It promises to be a horribly fantastic day.

[T] Shot Glasses, Tacky Jewelry (i know you mean more to me than that) (8ch) by RainbowJeff - Holiday/Mall AU Wednesday has somehow been dragged into the mall employees' yearly Secret Santa. What's worse, she's pulled Enid Sinclair as her giftee.

[G] a day like a day in summer (4ch) by poetroe Wednesday has strange ways of showing affection; Enid becomes intimately familiar with them.

[G] yours, eurydice (14ch) by hanjisgirlfriend - Celeb AU Best-selling horror author Wednesday Addams hasn't written in years. Everything changes when Enid Sinclair moves in across the hall.

[M] once bitten (try again?) (1ch) by nd_mindoir Enid learns how to touch Wednesday and why Wednesday is so much softer with her in return

There's also Our Lady of Wild Beasts by Pelgraine which is no longer on AO3 because she's publishing it into an original fiction novel. Sad for us, but extremely good for her. Huge congrats!!

Explicit recs

(I guess it warrants its own section? 😇)

[E] Hysteria (1ch) by IndieBones918 Wednesday emotionally dumps on her girlfriend's best friend after her and Enid's first time and Yoko's having the absolute time of her life.

[E] Gift (1ch) by Mikkie_Mouse (Mikbates) - ABO/Omegaverse AU Wednesday's inability to understand the commitments of a relationship leaves Enid frustrated... and taking matters into her own hands.

[E] A raven's dream of wolf (2ch) by tokyocorgi - ABO/Omegaverse AU the one where Wednesday literally had a hot and steamy sex dream with a lot of feelings.

[E] I'm Just Here To Love You (2ch) by SaturnHaze Wednesday never moans during sex so Enid comes up with a plan to finally draw them out of her. Well, she and Yoko.

[E] First Time For Everything (1ch) by geekomancer, Onhirel Wednesday and Enid having been dating for what feels like ages now, but their relationship hasn't taken that final step... until now. A make out session simply doesn't stop, confronting Wednesday of the simple fact that she doesn't actually know what to do. Thankfully, Enid is there to help her figure it all out.

There you go, happy reading (or not, whatever, you do what you want) with whatever floats your boat 🛥️

[autolenaphilia]

Transfem authors of fiction: a list

I wrote a version of this list in Swedish for a meatspace friend, figure I might redo it for a tumblr audience. The books recommended are usually novels, and in case of prolific authors, the one recommended is usually the most successful and acclaimed one. I haven't read all of these, but I'm working on it. The list is in alphabetical order after the author's last name. I added some notes to the list, to introduce the authors and their books.

Nota Bene this list is based on my personal research, and largely reflects my own tastes in fiction, as in what I've read and considered reading. And it is of course not at all complete. And it's a transfem authors list, so no transmasc authors no matter how worthy. And it's about authors of fiction, not memoirs or non-fiction. So no Christine Jorgensen, even if she wrote a book I want to read. And Jan Morris gets in based on her two Hav novels, not her more prolific non-fiction work. Links are to my reviews on this blog if they exist.

Anders, Charlie Jane - SF/F writer, debuted with Choir Boy (2005), but most famous for All The Birds in the Sky (which won a Nebula).

Aoki, Ryka - her latest sf/f novel Light from Uncommon Stars is her most popular, but she has published both fiction and poetry before.

Becker, Saga - Våra Tungor Smakar våld (Swedish author, her book is untranslated, although quite good)

Binnie, Imogen - Nevada

Daniels, April - Dreadnought and its sequel Sovereign. Novels about a teenage trans girl superhero.

Deane, Maya - Wrath Goddess Sing

Felker-Martin, Gretchen - Manhunt (horror novel)

Kaveney, Roz - Tiny Pieces of Skull (also wrote the Rhapsody of Blood fantasy series, plus numerous poetry collections and non-fiction)

Kiernan, Caitlin R. - Usually categorized as a horror author, written numerous novels and short stories since her debut novel SIlk in 1998. The most acclaimed are probably her novels The Red Tree and The Drowning Girl (which won the Bram Stoker Award)

Leitz, May - Fluids and Girlflesh (review forthcoming)

Morris, Jan - Hav (mostly wrote non-fiction, history books and travel literature, Hav is an omnibus of her two novels about Hav, both "imagined travelogues" about a fictitious country)

Peters, Torrey - Detransition Baby

Plett, Casey - Little Fish (Lambda award winner)

Pollack, Rachel - Prolific writer of several kinds of books, including a pioneering career as a sf/f writer. Did her fictional debut with a short story in a 1971 anthology (credited under her deadname) and published her first novel Golden Vanity in 1980, which are literally the earliest pieces of fiction by an out trans person (not memoir or non-ficton) I've been able to find. So very much a pioneer. Her most acclaimed book is probably Godmother Night (1996) which won the World Fantasy Award. Also wrote comics, most notably Doom Patrol.

Rumfitt, Alison - Tell me I'm Worthless

Serano, Julia - 99 Erics (her debut as a novelist after years of pioneering transfeminist writing and poetry)

Thornton, Jeanne - Summer Fun (Lambda award winner)

[just-antithings]

I'm not saying adults insisting they only need to read YA books and watch children's cartoons is leading to this culture wide phobia of sex which in turn is becoming a useful vector for the increasing spread of fascism except that is exactly what I'm saying.

Im not that anon but want to expand on their thought, if they're saying what I think they are.

I thought of this more when seeing an old post of someone saying their English teacher should have let them write a report on Divergent instead making them read 1984. Someone commented supporting the OP, saying that they never read Divergent, but 1984 is problematic. Iirc, the commenter referred to Winston (I think that's the protag in 1984; sorry I haven't reread it in years) as a creep. I can't remember is this specific commenter called Winston a misogynist, but that's a common complaint I hear when people say they don't like 1984.

The screenshot of that post also had other screenshots, including the twt posts of YA authors saying that the classics were problematic. It's a sentiment I keep seeing around book twt before I deactivated my account but still on booktube as well, and it's always booktubers who also read and rant about Colleen Hoover, because they know her name gets clicks. Or booktubers that do those videos titled "I read [old/popular/controversial] series so you don't have to".

Sorry, sliding off topic a bit. Going back to what anon said, YA books tend to be more sanitized. They're supposed to be written for a 15-19 audience, so sex and gore aren't supposed to be explicit. There are YA books with sex scenes. 2 I read recently have sex scenes, but they aren't explicit. One uses mostly poetic language and infers to what's happening, and the other essentially fades to black after they get into bed, as they're touching and then picks up the next morning. (One of these YA books had a big controversy on booktube a few years ago for being problematic, though. Gee, wonder why /s)

But for the most part, often for people who enjoy urban fantasy or romances but not steamy scenes, they may go for YA, since it's usually more "PG". Unfortunately, some people get it in their head that this makes YA inherently "better", that adult books that are being more explicit are only doing it to get more sales, when YA tbh has a tighter hold on it marketing-wise.

Okay, I'm not published (yet), but I've been studying it when I need to take a break from writing to see what course is best for me and what I want to write. YA is becoming oversaturated in the market, so it's not as big a "money making genre" for debut authors as it might have been once (and I'd argue that even in the past when YA was smaller, you still had to be lucky, known, or connected to get that 6-figure check for a debut YA novel). YA is more likely to get scrutinized, considering its supposed to he for a younger audience, so a YA author wanting to push boundaries is going to receive more push-back than an adult lit author.

Now pushback happens in adult lit, too, like Ava Reid saying her editor or publisher (I forget who) told her that Juniper&Thorn might be too dark. (I've read it. Yes, it's dark, but bad reviews I saw for the book blew it way out of proportion. If you (gen) like lyrical/poetic narration and gothic horror, I highly suggest it).

But it feels like there's more of a push to keep YA books "clean". You can find some outliers, but like the YA I mentioned above, those outliers in YA that push boundaries can get wrapped in controversy and called problematic.

And for whatever reason, some people on booktube say this is a good thing and say "think of the children!"

They will say censorship is bad but then advocate for sanitized YA to be read instead of classics, because the classics are "bad" and "teach bad things" and "should be left in the past". They advocate for censorship without realizing they are advocating for censorship. It's exhausting, and as someone who wants to be published and does enjoy a lot of YA, it makes me feel discouraged. I don't think I'm "pushing boundaries" at all in my writing or saying anything new, but I'm very sure it's not sanitized enough for most publishers, especially if I wanted to try for one of the beg houses in the US.

Tl;dr One of the major problems in this anti-intellectualism is capitalism.

.

[herrscherrofyatta]

Splintered Heart

chapter 20.5

Pairing: Ayato x F!reader

Genre: Arranged marriage, fluff, angst, multiple ending, slow burn

cw: pregnancy, loss of child, angst, being poisoned, angst

a/n: characters from another series are going to make an appearance here

"Congratulations, my Lord!" Mei beams at him, she was a friend you recently made and Ayato could tell you really adore her since you didn't really have a lot of friends growing up.

He thought that maybe it wouldn't hurt to tell her since you and him have decided to throw a party to tell the good news to close friends.

"Thank you, we didn't expect to have children this early but it came as a surprise, we're both very happy." He smiles at her.

"Your wife must be the luckiest woman in all of Inazuma, having such a loving husband."

Ayato lets out a cough at this, "...yes. Moving on, I heard Y/n was helping you with coming up with a new novel."

Mei nods at this, her face lit up with excitement, "yes! She said she knows someone from Liyue Harbor and this story will certainly catch Lady Guuji's attention!" You see, Mei wanted to achieve her goal of being a writer for the Yae Publishing House but so far her work has yet to be recognized.

Ayato hums on this, "Lord Ayato." He blinks, his thoughts go away at Mei calling for his attention.

"Yes?"

Mei isn't looking up at him, rather to the commotion up ahead, he follows her gaze to see the guards who were regularly patrolling the outside of the estate gone. "Where are the guards?"

His blood runs cold as the two rush over.

"I-I'll get a doctor! I'll be back!" One of the guards runs out, bumping into Mei who falls back as she lets out a squeal, her glasses fall off her face from the sudden force and just before her hand gets stepped on by the buff man.

Ayato interfaces, "Hirotatsu, what's happening?" He calls out to the man who is clearly worried and anxious.

"My Lord! The—the water has been poisoned!" Mei could feel Ayato freeze up when her helped up from the floor. "My lady, Lady Ayaka and Thoma—"

Hirotatsu couldn't even finish his sentence as the blue haired male ran inside, leaving Mei to adjust her glasses before following him inside before Hirotatsu runs to get the doctor.

Ayato, only being 18 years of age, witnessed as his wife and his friend lay in a pool of their own blood, motionless, as Ayaka sobs.

"Brother!" She runs over to him, tears running down and blood staining the side of her mouth as she shakes with fear.

He stares, eyes wide and filled with a look of horror.

—

"Y/n," He calls out to the young woman who was curled up on the bed, hugging the pillow close as she sobs quietly and paying no attention to him.

He sighs, frowning, of course he's upset about losing his unborn child especially when it was clear someone was beginning to target Y/n. It was normal for him to watch his back due to being the head of the clan and being the Yashiro Commissioner, and he hoped that no one would target his wife.

And look where that led. He should've known to put more protection in place after getting married.

"I couldn't protect you, I'm sorry." He whispers, he didn't have any time to shed tears for this loss, throwing himself into trying to find who caused this pain.

"I'll find whoever caused this, I promise." He grits his teeth and the h/c haired, young woman lifts her head at this and slowly sits up, crawling to Ayato before wrapping her arms around him.

And when he feels her warmth, he allows himself to weep.

"I know." She mumbles as he places his hand onto hers.

The next few days are quiet, Ayaka is still a bit frightened to be outside so she spends her time in Y/n's room. Both of them enjoy each other's presence and Ayaka feels like she shouldn't bring up that topic again, not wanting to make Y/n cry again.

"I'm sorry," she says and the young woman knows what she's referring to.

Instead, she gives her a weak smile, the bags under her eyes are evident of crying herself to sleep every night.

A knock at the door is heard, making the two look as it opens to reveal Thoma. He bows his head slightly, "My lady, someone is requesting to see you."

Y/n shakes her head, looking away from him, clearly not in the mood to talk with anyone.

Thoma frowns, looking to the side, "I'm sorry—"

A familiar voice interrupts him as Y/n freezes up, "My apologies, but—"

The h/c haired looks up to see someone she wasn't expecting, "May I come in?"

"Miss Eden?" Y/n sits up as Eden gives her a gentle smile and she looks at Ayaka.

"You must be Ayaka, I heard so much about you." Eden's soft tone makes the little girl's face flush red, shaking her head as the woman places a hand on her hip.

"Come, get dressed up and prepare to go on a walk." She says as Thoma looks at her.

"Miss Eden, My lady isn't fit to go outside." He argues but the woman gives him a look that immediately shuts him up.

"I'll wait for out here, oh and little Ayaka can come too." Eden doesn't miss the way the little girl looked scared at the mention of this, she sighs, such a young girl shouldn't have experienced this terror. She closes the door as Ayaka looks over to Y/n who's quiet.

"A-are we going outside?" She asks, "I...I don't want to go, what if someone tries to hurt us again?"

Y/n's eyes widened at this, looking up at the girl who is shaking and goes over to her. "No one is going to hurt you, I'll be with you the entire time."

"Promise?" The h/c haired smiles at her, holding up her pinky, "promise."

After a good 30 minutes later, Eden hears the door open and sees the two walk out, she couldn't help but notice the black clothing Y/n wore. The three of them are heading outside when Thoma sees them.

"I'll come along too, in case anything happens." He offers but Eden shakes her head.

"There's no need, you can leave the girls to me for the time being." Thoma fidgets in place, a bit worried to leave them alone but upon seeing Y/n nod at him, he leaves.

The three walk out of the estate, walking at a slow pace as Eden looks over at Y/n, "my condolences."

The h/c haired snaps her head at her, "how did..." She stutters out as Eden gives her a sad smile, a pity expression on her face as she looks around at the trees of the forest.

"Little Ayaka," she calls out, Ayaka looks up at her nervously, "y-yes?"

"Would you be so kind to bring us some Sakura blossoms?" She asks as Ayaka slowly nods, giving Y/n a glance before walking ahead.

The two women stand there, watching Ayaka before Eden speaks again, "The feelings you're feeling, I felt them too, many years ago and I still do although it isn't as strong as it was."

She sighs, looking up at the clouds in the sky, "I lost my only son just as you lost your unborn child and you have every right to feel what you're feeling, that goes for Ayato as well."

Y/n tightens the grip of her fist, "but you must never dwell on those feelings for too long or you'll drown and lose yourself just as I did years ago." Eden chuckles bitterly, "my...ex husband was loving for a period of time until he wasn't, never once helped me raise our son nor plan his funeral and we never comfort each other of the feeling we had after losing our son. You and Ayato are different, I can see he truly loves you and I'm certain you two can get through this together."

She smiles at Y/n before Ayaka comes back, a handful of blossoms in her arms as she hands them over to the singer who thanks her before putting them away

"You are allowed to mourn as long as you like but never forget there are people around you who care about you, who you can talk to if the feelings get too heavy."

Y/n nods, as Ayaka stood at her side again. "I already talked to Ayato as well." Eden says, noticing the way Ayaka was staring at her before giving her a smile.

"Is there something you want to ask?"

Ayaka nods, "...Y/n told me you're a singer."

"Yes, the first time we met was when your brother and her were young teenagers, along with their friend." Eden explains before the little girl begins to ask more questions.

"Is Eden your real name?"

"Actually, yes and no, call it my stage name in a way."

"Then what's your real one?"

"I introduce myself as Eden here so no one gets our name mixed up since Y/n and I share the same name."

"Wow, really?"

—

"My Lord," Ayato looks up upon hearing his voice, putting his attitude on the blonde rather than the vendor in front of him.

"The medicine for my lady is just about done, Dr. Baizhu said he'll have the amount you asked for delivered to our boat after it's done."

He sighs in relief, it's been a couple days since the two left Inazuma and he couldn't help but worry over you. He was beginning to think leaving you alone was a bad idea, especially with someone who caused you a great amount of pain in the past.

"I see, that's great."

Thoma looks at the things the vendor was selling, amounts of Liyue jewelry and other expensive things.

"Are you buying things for Y/n and Ayaka?" He asks, Ayato goes back to what he was doing, looking over what to purchase before picking up a gem that was the same color of your eyes.

Thoma notices a tall man approaching the vendor as well, eyeing the gem Ayato was looking at before clearing his throat.

"That's a magnificent stone you have there but I'm afraid it's a fake."

Ayato looks up to see a man with golden eyes and brown hair tied into a long ponytail looking at him. This man goes on about explaining the difference between the real and the fake ones that the vendor was trying to scam Ayato and Thoma was trying to slip away only to jump back, frighten at who was blocking their path.

"You again? Didn't I tell you to stop?" Ayato hears a voice he's most familiar with and looks up to see Eden who looks to be dressed up as she looks down to the vendor who is sweating bullets.

After making sure the scammer was taken away by the Millelith, Eden looks over to the three, "it's been a while, hasn't it?" She greets as the brown haired man walks to her side before she introduces him.

"This is Zhongli, my husband and dear, this Lord Ayato and his friend, Thoma. They're from Inazuma," The woman looks around for someone else as Zhongli shakes hands with the blue haired man.

"It's a pleasure to meet you two."

"Like otherwise."

"Is your wife and little Ayaka not here with you two?" She asks, feeling how empty it felt without the two women present.

Thoma and Ayato look at each other before looking back at the couple, "if it's alright with you two, can we discuss this in private?"

Eden raises a brow but nods, "of course, we can talk over dinner."

"That would be great."

a/n: Eden is from the Xiao x Adeptus!reader series that have yet to have name

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Taglist: @thetwinkims @aurressence @woncafe @loveknows @aixaingela @suzuyamitsuki @yourlocalwalkingbi @kimura-uzuri @jihaegguk @prefesro @aria-haru @forgot-the-acronym @yoshikuno @dazaiscum @bananazzzen @kaelysian @fluffimemes @zannivrs @kazeniya @astreankitsune @xiaosimpdamn @twistedrxses @pagkaiin @yeahhemmings- @cocosakuya15 @eclipse247 @eissaaaa @useless-potatho @tvgirlfangirl @justacatenthusiast @brinex @surrin7 @reinvqx @xxyuixe @kumiko-desu @myesno @milkyonyourway @03050912 @lavunyan @horodoine @shirmxie @sanaldn @horodoine @felkie @superwormysstuff @shirmxie

[wanderingnork]

So I decided to listen to "Gregor the Overlander," (audiobook) because it's been literally like twenty years since I read it. I loved this book as a kid and it influenced my future writing for sure.

And...uh. It's exactly as good as I remember. But I'm also a bit startled because...I just finished listening to an adult horror novel published three years ago and I'm pretty sure that Gregor is in an almost identical register to that book. The book was "The Death of Jane Lawrence." Covers some heady horror, gets real complicated at the end, has onscreen sex. Definitely an adult novel.

The shape of the dialogue in Gregor is different, naturally, because Gregor is a modern child of New York City (and the other characters so far are a two year old and a cockroach). But the sentence structure, the complexity of words...I could be listening to the same book. The author voices are different, of course. If I ran passages from both books through a readability score calculator, I suspect that they would come in at a roughly similar level. Gregor would score as a little bit easier due to the 11-year-old-kid dialogue, but Jane Lawrence wouldn't be much different.

I'm not sure how to feel about this.