#So like I could get one from like Toledo even if I lived in like Cincinnati or something

[solradguy]

Are you feeling enriches? Have you thought about Jack-O or Sol yet today? Are you rolling your meat filled pumpkin around?

-A contemplative Illyrian

I'm very enriched, I have two library cards and free enrichment attached directly to my house keys:

A meat filled pumpkin can be accessible ebooks and public services; a small sword, and a 2d girl

[s-awturn]

Moon Spell || CS55

summary: They were fated to love someone they hated. There was no spell, no grudge, no curse that could break the bond that united them, doomed to die in the feelings they fiercely nurtured. The Moon had determined it and there was nothing they could do to stop it.

“These violent pleasures have violent ends, and die in their triumph, like fire and gunpowder, which, when they kiss, consume each other. The sweetest honey is disgusting in its own sweetness, and its taste confuses the palate.”

cw: Violence, conflict, soulmates, blood, magic, alternate universe, obscenity, pure filth, chaos, fighting, swearing, intense hatred, love, mention of death, blood.

a/n: This came to celebrate Carlos' birthday and to open the new phase of my profile. This is supposed to have five chapters, no more, no less. I don't know what else to say, so read on!

starring: werewolf!Carlos x witch!Fem reader

Part One: We Were Born To Die

”Choose your last words, this is the last time 'Cause you and I, we were born to die”

Europe, 1498.

She packed all her belongings into a deep leather bag, threw in crystals, grimoires, a few candles, and other magical items; she couldn't stay there long, her hiding place had been discovered and soon crazy fanatics would be there to drag her to the stake. She couldn't waste her family's sacrifice in keeping her alive.

“Let's go, Spix, let's not wait for those madmen to take us to the fire or the gallows” she said, picking up the cat and putting it in the basket. Toledo was no longer a safe place, in fact there was no safe place, with the frightening religious fanaticism that the kings of Spain were feeding, everyone was suspected of witchcraft and heresy, women were dragged to the catacombs of churches and were never seen again.

S/N saw husbands hand over their wives, fathers hand over their daughters, everyone wanted the silver coins that the Church was offering. She needed to get away from this, S/N knew that her neighbors were suspicious of her, a woman living alone on the outskirts of the village attracted attention. She couldn't leave any room for bad luck.

She threw a black cape over her simple dress, tightened her boots, and left the house, saying goodbye silently. That house where her parents lived their entire lives, where she herself spent her life, would soon be burned down, so many memories would be turned into ashes; He didn't look back, he clutched the bag under his arm and ran into the woods, listening to Spix's meows, nestled in the bag.

The moonlight illuminated her steps, ensuring that she managed to avoid roots and holes in the ground and it wasn't long before she heard the angry shouts of the villagers, She hid behind a thick trunk and saw the torches shining in the darkness, they cried out the name of God, calling her a witch and accusing her of heresy. S/N heard her door being broken down.

It wouldn't be long before they noticed her absence and went hunting for her in the forest. She needed to run far away, get away from poor fanatics after a few dozen silver coins. Her life wasn't worth that.

She made her way to a remote part of the forest, where wolves and other wild animals hid. No villager would dare to go there, after all, no one wanted to become wolf food.

When she passed through the oak arch, a shiver shook her insides, S/N looked at the sky and the Moon shone so brightly that it illuminated small patches of darkness in the forest, and a thought made her stop: It was a full moon night and the werewolves would go out to hunt.

She was vulnerable in the middle of the woods, with only a small dagger in the pocket of her cloak and her magic. Anyway, she hoped that no werewolves would cross her path, or she would have a lot of problems besides angry Catholics.

She went deeper into the forest, even Spix's meows fell silent. In fact, there was no sound at all, the wind did not cut through the trees, the leaves did not rustle, not even the nocturnal animals screeched in their hiding places. Until a deep sound echoed, an angry growl that betrayed hunger.

Y/N gripped the dagger with trembling fingers, witches and werewolves had hated each other since the first dawn, if it really was a hungry werewolf there, she would love to devour her, just for the pleasure of destroying her; he took a deep breath and ran between the trees, whatever it was, he wasn't going to risk staying there, even though turning his back was already a high risk.

She ended up in a clearing completely lit by the moon, the exact same clearing where she and her mother used to perform rituals to thank the goddess for the harvest and the coven celebrated.

But that was before Ferdinand and Isabella began their persecution. Before she saw her friends burn at the stake, her parents die on the gallows.

A dark bark stopped her in the middle of the clearing, Y/N heard the branches being broken and the frightening sound of teeth chattering. Her heart accelerated painfully, she was terrified, maybe she could make the roots hold him, but her magic wasn't strong enough for that.

Her magic core was weak and did not have enough strength to channel forces of nature. She would have to make do with an iron dagger and the help of the goddess.

— ☽ —

It was the night of the full moon and he could feel the effects surging through his body since early on, and there was a strange feeling present in his chest. Carlos felt that something was going to happen that night, and it wouldn't just be the milestone of his thirty years of age.

He saw his father cross the small village with a group of refugees, religious madness had arrived in those parts and was terrorizing his people, there was no one who did not fear being dragged into the church basement. No one wanted to be tortured and killed.

“Stop daydreaming and go help your sister, that roof is still going to fall on her head” he heard his mother order.

“Where is her husband? That’s that lazy bastard’s responsibility,” he questioned, but received a click of his tongue in return. He growled in irritation, Carlos would beat up his brother-in-law as soon as he could. And he wouldn't care about his sister's crying or his father's lecture.

He trudged over to his sister's shack, seeing Blanca hanging from the roof, hammering some nails into the central beam. This only made him growl even more, he really was going to punch his brother-in-law in the face as soon as he got the chance.

“Blanca, what the hell are you doing there?" He stopped far enough away to see his sister, Blanca wiped the sweat on her forehead and glared at him mockingly.

“I think I'm baking bread, what do you think?” she retorted sarcastically.

“And where is your useless husband? He must be sleeping…”

“Don't talk about him like that, you know his health is fragile” She tries to defend her husband, but this only increases Carlos' irritation.

“He's a werewolf, Blanca, the only fragile thing about him is his will to work” Carlos growled “Get down from there, I'll take care of this, since your husband is as useless as a leaky bucket!”

The woman came down from the roof, and Carlos took her place, still complaining about his sister's husband and insisting on hammering the boards hard, not caring if it would wake the sleeping man. Work distracted him from the strange feeling in his chest, he didn't know how the full moon night would end, but he knew something would happen.

Only when the sun began to set on the horizon did Carlos finish repairs to his sister's house — not without landing two hard punches in the face of his brother-in-law who dared to complain about the noise. He needed to prepare, As it was the first night of the full moon, the effects would be more intense, and he needed to prepare his body and mind to allow the beast to command him.

As night fell, Carlos felt the involuntary spasms and his gums itched, the bones in his legs and arms cracked painfully, anticipating the metamorphosis.

And of course, the sensation increased along with the discomfort, the beast inside him scratched the walls, howling as if it was foretelling something. Maybe it was the villagers appearing on the edge of their land, maybe it was the witches who had returned, it could be anything.

Any damn thing.

When the transformation, he began to run between the trees, smelling the wet grass, the animals nestled in their dens, Carlos felt the wet earth under his feet and when he realized it, he was running on four legs, his peripheral vision was greater and his sense of smell could perceive things dozens of meters away.

He stopped abruptly and howled at the full moon, announcing the arrival of his birthday. That morning Carlos had turned thirty and there was nothing like fresh venison to celebrate.

He sniffed the air, searching for his prey and licked his sharp teeth when he caught the scent of a fox lurking in the bushes. The huge wolf followed the scent into the clearing, his eyes fixed on the distracted fox, he was about to pounce when a different scent filled the air.

The sweet scent of lavender and lemon hit his nose like a blow, disorienting the lycanthrope and he turned his skull, searching for the source of the smell and It wasn't long before the leaves on the far edge of the clearing parted and revealed a girl. Up close, her scent was more striking, more mystical.

Witch.

He growled, angry that she had disrupted his hunt and stirred his senses. His heart was pounding and he studied the girl, she was running away and looked terrified, the witch was sweating under her thick cloak and breathing quickly, her eyes scanning the trees and the wolf knew she was aware of his presence.

He could hear her heart beating and the wind started to blow again, carrying her scent to him and he growled, torn between wanting to smell her up close and killing her.

Werewolves had been killing witches since the beginning of time and his nature insisted that he rip out the girl's little neck. She pulled out a small metal dagger and he grunted with laughter, the little witch really thought an iron dagger would stop him.

He was eager to see her try.

With a powerful leap, the werewolf stopped in front of her, seeing her gasp in fright, her heartbeat increasing to the point of occupying all of the creature's sensitive hearing.

That was his feeling, somehow someone would die that night, either him or the little witch, after all that was the final outcome — regardless of how many ages his existence could drag on, at some point he would die. And the little witch too.

After all, all creatures are born to die.

But fate changed its course along with the path of the wind as soon as the wolf met the witch's eyes.

That could only be a bad joke from the Moon.

[invisibleraven]

foster family au YOU KNOW I HAVE TO

When Alex and Willie got serious, they had the big talk about marriage and kids, because they wanted to make sure they were on the same page about both. Willie was pretty eh about marriage-something about needing government validation for their relationship.

"But I wouldn't mind it with you hot dog," he said with a wink, making Alex blush and groan simultaneously.

The kid thing was a bit more serious. Alex had wanted to be a dad since forever-dreamed of it really. It was something his parents had mocked him about when he came out, claiming gay men couldn't be parents.

But things had come so far since then-they could hire a surrogate or adopt now. "What about fostering?" Willie asked shyly.

"What about it?" Alex asks.

"Could we be foster parents for a bit first?" Willie clarifies. "I was a foster kid for so long, jumping from house to house, so I know there's not enough good ones out there. Plus a lot of older kids end up in the system, and they never got adopted."

"Because everyone wants babies," Alex concluded. Which, he couldn't say much, that's what he wanted too. Watching a child grow right from the start-like it was their own, not one they essentially bought. But he could see Willie's point-he had never found a real home or family until Caleb found him right before he aged out of the system.

And well, Caleb was more like a fabulous uncle than a dad, so Alex could see Willie's point about finding older kids needing a real family unit. "We can do that, sure," he assured him.

It was a few years later, when they had a house to call their own, rings on their fingers and steady jobs that they apply-Alex knowing the agency would look more kindly on those factors when considering them. There's a lot of paperwork, and visits and assessments.

"Geez with the amount of kids flooding the system you would think there would be less red tape to wade through," Willie grumbled as they submitted yet another sheath of signed contracts.

"I think you'd be happier that they are so particular to weed out the bad homes," Alex replied. "Less Ms. Hannigans this way."

"Well now I wanna watch Annie," Willie said with a grin.

"Carol Burnett or Kathy Bates?" Alex asks with an answering smile.

"Thank you for not making the other remakes an option, and you know my answer is both," Willie replied.

It takes a few months for processing to go though, but eventually they get selected to receive their first kid-Parker who is only staying the weekend until her grandparents can take her on. She's sassy, way too good with locks, and Willie loves her. He slips her some money and their address when she leaves, just in case she ever wants to come back, or write. Alex feels they haven't seen the last of her.

Their next charge is Ollie, who had been a street kid that Willie had caught sleeping at the street park. He is in the system, so his social worker is happy enough for them to take him. He's a bit rough around the edges, but he bonds with them quickly enough, and a whiz in the kitchen.

It's kind of heart breaking when they try to shift him to another home, Willie even telling them he's welcome to stay as long as he wants. Alex is a bit more realistic, knowing this is how things work, that they don't have control over how long each kid stays. There's lots of tears when Ollie leaves, but he promises to call when he gets to Toledo-where his uncle lives to let them know he's okay.

They get the twins, Micah and Solange next, who are a handful, but ultimately sweet. Then Kasey, Hanna, Roger, and Bianca. None of them stay long, but Alex feels they leave better off than they were when they came.

Willie is the one who approaches him about maybe looking for something a little more permanent. "I love that we've been able to help so many kids but it hurts so much when they go. I want one that stays, that's ours. We can keep fostering... but I want a baby."

Alex brings him in for a hug, and agrees. They decide to adopt, since they're already in the system, making it easier. They meet a lot of couples who are pregnant, but none of them decide on Alex and Willie for whatever reason.

Then their social worker calls, asking if they'd be opposed to a toddler.

Isla is not even two, but lost her parents in an accident, and has no other family. She's a gorgeous little redhead who is pretty happy despite the tragedy that's befallen her. They foster her for a bit, just to make sure it's a good fit, but before the end of the year she's theirs officially.

The next summer though, Parker shows back up, having run away from her abusive grandparents, and they welcome her with open arms. "But there's a better lock on the liquor cabinet," Alex warns her.

"You know I love a challenge!" she exclaims. Willie buys her a good set of lockpicks, and sets her up a whole set of locks and old safes he found in the garage, telling her to go mad. "Hopefully that keeps out of doing illegal stuff," he comments wryly.

"I'll start putting money towards bail," Alex replies.

The social worker tries to get her to go back to her family, but she makes an impassioned plea to stay here, and finally confesses what her family was actually like. They agree to let her stay while they investigate, but with her almost eighteen and the speed with which the system works, Alex is fairly confident she's theirs to keep.

Ollie turns up around Christmas, confessing that his uncle found it too hard to take care of him, and he'd loved it here, so could he stay please?

"Good thing we bought a big house," Willie said as he made up their guest room.

"I think we need to take our name off the fostering list though," Alex replied. "Just until one of these three find their own place."

"I'm okay with that," Willie stated. "I think we have our hands full with three anyways."

So in the end, Alex becomes a dad-even if only one of his three kids calls him that-Parker calls them Lexie and Wils, Ollie; Vati and Baba, and well he's sure Isla, who adores her big brother will pick that up before she hits four. But he doesn't mind-it's not what they call him, it's the sentiment behind it.

He's their dad no matter what, they've all agreed to that, given the Best Dad Ever mug collection he's got started. And that's the important part.

[cleoselene]

choirgirl, pele, scarlet

okay but every time I listen to it I realize that From the Choirgirl Hotel is maybe one of the more perfect albums I've ever heard??? It is the literal definition of 10/10 no skips every song is a banger even the bonus tracks are fucking flawless

the production is the most lush and complex Tori has ever put out

it's wild to me because I've always loved this album but I kind of slept on it sort of? "Playboy Mommy" was hitting me HARD when it came out and I was 19 and I'd just had an abortion. The album was associated with the literal worst year of my fucking life. So I think I kept a distance from it for that reason. "Boys For Pele" was the album that came out when I got SUPER into Tori. I'd liked her since Silent All These Years came on MTV as a buzzclip, and loved her collaboration with Trent Reznor on Under the Pink, but Pele got me OBSESSED as I was a senior in high school. I had just broken up with my first boyfriend, too, after a 2 year relationship and Pele is a breakup album so it just. RESONATED. And all the things that the very stupid critics hated about Pele: how baroque it was, how long it was, how insane Tori sounded in several of the songs, how impenetrable and whimsical the lyrics were in comparison to Little Earthquakes and Under the pink. These were the things I LOVED about Boys For Pele.

That tour was also the first time I saw her in concert (the first of eight over the years) and it was a MAGICAL EXPERIENCE. She had toured around Florida, but, being 17, me and my friend Melissa weren't able to drive several hours to Tampa or Orlando or Miami, because, parents. A lot of our friends had been able and we were ENVIOUS. We complained one day in AP English to each other that Tori was not coming to Fort Myers, which was a mere 40 minutes away, an easy and parent-allowed drive. Later that afternoon, after school, Melissa called me up sounding !!!! and told me that 1) TORI HAD ADDED A FORT MYERS SHOW, WHAT?? and 2) she had heard this because she was listening to the radio and they were giving 2 tickets to the tenth caller and MELISSA WAS THE TENTH CALLER, WE WERE GOING TO SEE TORI. It was like the only time in my entire life that I made an improbable wish and it IMMEDIATELY came true within 24 hours. That concert IMPRINTED on me.

Tori Amos was listed the #3 live performer of all time by Rolling Stone at some point, and I don't think that's an unfair assessment. There is an absolute witchcraft that woman practices onstage. She grabs the audience by the throat and does not let go until the encore is over. Which is why I keep going back to her shows whenever I can. My eight shows are nothing to the people who follow her around and get promoted to front row seats by Tori's team (my ultimate fan wish that I know will never come true, QQ), but for me, a Real Life Poor, it's a LOT. When I'm at her shows, I feel like there's no one else there but me and her (and the band if she's touring with them).

When I was 24, I had another big breakup, and moved across the country, from Lynchburg, Virginia to Portland, Oregon. I took a train ride to do so, it was a five day groggy sightseeing tour across the United States. Scarlet's Walk was in my portable CD player as I sleepily alternated between the sightseeing car (I could not sleep, I could not afford a sleeping car and I can't sleep in public in a chair. I was DELIRIOUS) and the smoking car (I was still a pack a day back then. it was 2004) and Scarlet's Walk, being a literal road trip across America, fraught with all the relationship angst that is Tori's signature, and the political anxiety building in that album post-9/11 was just... incredible for this train trip. I saw America at its most beautiful (the snow-covered mountains and lush greenery and waterfalls of the Pacific Northwest, specifically the Columbia River Basin, looking like Eden itself) and at it's most depressing and ugly (that was Toledo, Ohio. Holy shit it was like ... decayed industry and garbage everywhere. DEPRESSING).

I watched a drunk cougar in the smoking car crawl all over an 18 year old kid who was about to be shipped off to Iraq, purring in his ear that she was also eager to serve her country to this album. I smoked weed and did shots of Grey Goose with this chick in her sleeping car to this album. I sat in the sightseeing car and paused the album only once, this late night when some guy with a guitar and a bottle of whiskey attracted a crowd as he randomly played classic American songs the crowd mostly knew the words to at request, and everyone sang along. I felt like I was having some sort of transcendent American experience on this train trip, and Scarlet's Walk, an audio trip across the country, was my soundtrack. My mom road tripped to Simon & Garfunkel in the late '60s with her friends, I road tripped to Tori. And the ten years I lived in Portland after that train trip remain the most cherished and happy of my entire life. Those were the really great years.

So Scarlet became the favorite of my adult life.

Now I'm revisiting From the Choirgirl Hotel with the distance of two and a half decades, as some old vinyl collecting music nerd who has become re-obsessed with 90s-style trip-hop and industrial, and I'm just in awe of the quality of the music of Choirgirl. Like I said: flawless from beginning to end. It's an emotionally traumatic album even without personal context, though, given the subject matter, but it is perhaps the most perfect front-to-end album Tori's ever put out.

[therecordchanger62279]

BEEN THERE, SAW THEM

For somebody that spent most of his working life in the retail record business, and whose passion has always been music, I was never an avid concert-goer. I never liked the long drives to and from. I hated shows where I had a seat but was forced to stand all evening because everyone else did. I hated the excess smoke - when that was still permitted. I often seemed to get seats behind someone who stood all evening, or was a head taller than me when seated. The volume was a problem, too as I suffered some hearing loss at a Springsteen concert in 1978, via some Steve Van Zandt guitar feedback that was actually painful, and caused me to cover my ears. I was in the last row of Vets Arena in Columbus, Ohio. If I'd been front row, I'd probably be deaf now. I hated the exits after the concerts, too. It took more time to leave the Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati, Ohio after The Rolling Stones show I saw there in 1989 than it did to watch the show.

My aversion to concerts became legendary, and I used to get needled all the time about it by the people I worked with at record shops. Eventually, I got tired of it, and lied about attending shows I never saw (a Joe Henderson show at a high school auditorium in Lima, Ohio, and a Neil Young show with Sonic Youth opening on the Ragged Glory tour - in Cincinnati, if memory serves). I saw my last live show in 2014. I wouldn't even remember that date except that I had a notion of trying to compile a master list of every concert I've seen since my first one in August of 1975. By my count, and to the best of my recollection, I saw more than 40 concerts over a 39 year span. That's one concert a year. And given that I grew up in a small town where nobody ever played, and never lived anywhere bigger than Toledo or Dayton, Ohio, I don't think that's too bad.

I could've been to many, many more. For years I had access to free concert tickets through my record retailing connections, but since the people who worked for me made less money, and were more into live shows than I was, I used up my favors to score tickets for them when I could. I was content to buy live albums, and experience the shows from the comfort of my recliner.

In any case, I've compiled the complete list - at least everything I can remember - including the opening act(s) if there were any. If there was something worth noting about the show, I've made comments after the entry.

Beach Boys / Ambrosia. 8/21/75 Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio. My first concert. We had floor tickets, so I stood the entire time. Great sets from both bands, but this was still before Brian Wilson had rejoined for live shows. That was my only real disappointment.

Buddy Rich Orchestra. Lima Senior High Auditorium, Lima, Ohio 1977. I went with my mother. I was still living at home, going to college, and just beginning to really explore Jazz. I knew Rich from The Tonight Show. It was a terrific experience.

Bruce Springsteen. Vets, Columbus, Ohio 9/5/78. The night of the hearing loss. But it's still one of the three or four best shows I ever saw. I also saw him in Cincinnati, Ohio at Riverfront Coliseum in July '84 on the Born In The U.S.A. tour. Still great, but not on a level with that '78 show.

Bob Dylan. Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 10/22/78. Also Riverbend Coliseum, Cincinnati, Ohio 8/10/89, Hara Arena 11/2/2002, and Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio 8/5/11. The '78 show was mindblowing. The '89 show was one of those nights when the sound was bad, and you couldn't recognize the songs unless you happened to catch a familiar lyric. Awful. The last two were quite good, though.

Elvis Costello / The Rubinoos. The Agora, Columbus, Ohio 3/15/79. The Rubinoos were great. Costello wasn't. He played all of 45 minutes. Left without ever saying a word to the audience. No encore - not that anyone minded. Later that night, he and his band got into an altercation with Stephen Stills and his band at a Holiday Inn Bar in Columbus that made national headlines when Costello uttered a racial slur at Ray Charles. I was a huge Costello fan before the show, but after - not so much. I swore I'd never see him live again, and I never did.

Crosby, Stills & Nash. Toledo, Ohio 11/9/82. I was nervous about this one because I knew they had a reputation for sometimes being awful in concert. We got lucky. They were incredible. They were so good that Nash even made a comment about it from the stage. One of the best live performances I've ever seen.

Weather Report. Ann Arbor, Michigan 1983. Some other managers at the mall where I worked in Toledo took me to this. I loved the band, and I've been forever grateful to them for inviting me.

Yes. Indianapolis, 4/12/84. I went with some people I worked with. I drove. This was the 90125 tour. The show was fantastic. But one of my pals knew the band. She co-published the Relayer fanzine, and had actually interviewed band members. She took us to the backstage area afterwards promising to get us in to meet the band. But the bouncers gave her, and another female co-worker access, but denied me, and two of my male friends. We were waiting around for them to come out when some bouncers approached us, and told us to leave. We told them our friends were inside, but they couldn't have cared less, and threatened to remove us bodily if we didn't leave. So, we went to the car where we sat for more than two hours waiting for our pals to return. When they finally did, they breathlessly told us they'd been invited to join them at a party at the hotel. They claimed again that they would get us in. But I was skeptical for obvious reasons. Besides, it was now past 1 a.m., and we still had a 90 minute drive home, and I was opening the store in the morning. We argued for probably 20 minutes, and put it to a vote. It was two in favor, and two against, and one abstention. But it was my car. So we left. I was very unpopular for a long time after that (actually, I've never been very popular anyway), but given the same circumstances at another time, I'd have done the same thing. Fortunately the Yes show I saw at Nutter Center in Fairborn, Ohio 5/4/91 was a better show, and a far better experience.

Pat Metheny Group. Memorial Hall, Dayton, Ohio 7/18/85. Ohio Theatre, Columbus Ohio 11/22/87. One of only a few acts I've seen more than once. Fantastic - both shows.

Stevie Ray Vaughan / Johnny Copeland. Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 1985. Incredible show.

Pretenders / Iggy Pop. Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 3/24/87. Great show all around.

Billy Idol / The Cult. Hara Arena, Dayton, Ohio 4/21/87. I could only score one ticket to see this show. I only wanted to see The Cult, and one of my co-workers was dying to see Billy Idol. He was closing the store that night just up the street from the venue. Since The Cult opened, I went to see them, and during intermission, I went back to the store, gave my ticket stub to my buddy, closed the store for him, and told him to go to the venue, and pretend he'd gone outside during intermission for a smoke. He presented my stub, and got in to see Billy idol. Win win!

Heart. Riverbend Coliseum, Cincinnati, Ohio 7/87. Courtesy a Capitol Records rep, and it included a ride in a Steamboat down the Ohio river to the venue. Heart was great!

R.E.M. / 10,000 Maniacs. Vets, Columbus, Ohio 10/24/87. Really fine show. I went with a co-worker and her boyfriend. He drove, and had one hand on the wheel, and with the other changed the radio stations constantly all the way there and back. He was wound far too tight for my liking.

Pink Floyd. Ohio Stadium, Columbus, Ohio 5/28/88. History says this was the first ever concert at the home of the Ohio State Buckeyes. What I remember was the spectacle itself. It was the first big budget production I'd ever seen, and it was something extraordinary.

Dio / Megadeth / Savatage. Hara Arena 8/2/88. I was dragged kicking and screaming to this show. I liked Dio's records, but I had no desire to see him or the openers at all. But I gave in. Savatage and Megadeth were so loud, I stayed in the lobby and girl-watched. Dio, I'll admit was really great.

The Rolling Stones. Riverfront Stadium, Cincinnati, Ohio 9/14/89. The Steel Wheels Tour. My only Stones show, but it was incredible. I watched Charlie most of the night, and Ronnie played his ass off.

Tina Turner. Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, Ohio 8/25/90. She was everything you'd expect of a living legend.

Gordon Lightfoot. Memorial Hall, Dayton, Ohio 4/91. Lightfoot and his band were terrific, but we had balcony seats, and the chairs were the smallest, hardest, and most uncomfortable I've ever experienced. I remember getting up three or four times during the show, and standing in the aisle to alleviate the discomfort.

Don Henley / Susanna Hoffs. Riverbend Coliseum, Cincinnati, Ohio. 7/23/91. The Columbia rep knew what a huge Hoffs fan I was, so he provided the ticket. We had a meet and greet with Hoffs after, and I got autographs, and a picture someone else took for me that I never received. Hoffs killed, and Henley was good, too.

Neil Young. Nutter Center, Fairborn, Ohio 9/11/92. Completely solo show, and a great one from start to finish.

Roseanne Cash / Lyle Lovett. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio 1994 (I believe). Couldn't track down the exact date for this, or find my ticket stub. But I recall it was when Lovett was having a romance, and short marriage to Julia Roberts, and he was in the news so much he'd decided to have some fun with it. So he had a roadie put a wig and a dress on to introduce him each night. When the roadie walked out, he was indeed mistaken for Julia Roberts. The gasps, and whispers were quickly drowned out by laughter when we realized the ruse. Great night all around.

Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. Riverfront Coliseum, Cincinnati, Ohio 8/30/95. A dream come true for me. They were great. It was the only time I got to see them.

James Taylor. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio 7/9/97. Another artist who lived up to his legend.

Guided By Voices. Gilly's, Dayton, Ohio 1/99. There was GBV fever at the shop I worked in at the time. I thought the show was good musically, but Bob Pollard's constant beer swilling throughout the set got on my nerves after awhile, and my wife was none too fond of that performance either. We left early, and I never again listened much to them. In fact, a couple of years later, I sold all my albums, and 45s of the band to a shop, and kept only a couple of homemade cassettes.

Black Sabbath / Pantera / The Deftones. Nutter Center, Fairborn, Ohio. 2/99. There's an account of this rather memorable night on this very blog under the title Me and Dime (May '23). I even submitted an account of the show to Record Collector for their 'Memorable Concert' feature from fans that runs in their letters section. They never responded to the submission, and to date, have never published it. That's why I have a blog.

B.B. King / Boz Scaggs / Bobby "Blue" Bland. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio, 6/19/99. Three legends for one price. Great, great night.

Emmylou Harris / Shawn Colvin. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio 8/25/01. We sat outside in a torrential downpour all evening. But Emmylou and Shawn were so good, we didn't care.

Black Crowes / Beachwood Sparks. Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio 10/10/01. Just a month after 9/11 which Chris Robinson referenced from the stage. Very good night, and seeing Beachwood Sparks was a bonus for me. I was one of the few in the crowd who knew them, and had their record at the time.

Sheryl Crow. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio 7/03. I had wanted to see this, but it sold out so fast I couldn't get a ticket - until a customer walked into the shop that afternoon and offered the ticket to any of us who wanted to go. I snatched it up, and thoroughly enjoyed it. If you want to see it, too, the entire thing was filmed, and released on a DVD titled C'mon America.

Leon Russell. Gilly's, Dayton, Ohio 1/3/2004. Leon completely solo at a bank of keyboards in a small club. Much as I'd liked to have seen him with his big band in the 1970s during his heyday, there was some magic on this night that I'll never forget.

Rock 'N' Blues Fest with Johnny Winter, Edgar Winter, Rick Derringer, and Kim Simonds of Savoy Brown. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio. 2012. My disappointment at hearing that the great Leslie West had to drop out due to health issues at the last minute was somewhat mitigated by the opportunity to see the others. I'd been a fan of each since the 1970s. Edgar stole the show. But it was poignant seeing Johnny since he passed away less than 2 years later. And Rick and Kim still had it all these years later.

Ringo Starr's All-Starr Band. Fraze Pavilion, Kettering, Ohio. 7/14. To date, this was my last concert, and I don't expect there will be any more - unless someone wants to provide a free ticket and transportation to see Yuja Wang, or Taylor Swift somewhere. I'd leave the recliner to see either. Everyone else has passed away or retired, or isn't worth seeing at this late date. So, after 40 years, I finally saw a Beatle live, and the bonus for me was also finally getting to see another legend - Todd Rundgren. Ringo does not disappoint. A good one to go out on.

Appendix (courtesy my wife): When you're married, sometimes you make sacrifices. My wife wanted to see Neil Diamond at Nutter center in Fairborn in November of 2001. I accompanied her because I'll confess an affection for his early hits - several of which he played, and played well. My wife also wanted to see John Tesh - twice. We went - twice. It was sometime in the 90s. I wasn't a fan of his music, but the shows were professional, and the crowd, and my wife very much enjoyed them. And, finally, she wanted me to take her to see Josh Groban, again at The Fraze in Kettering, Ohio. The date is foggy, but it was sometime between 2005 and 2010. And though I am not a fan of his music, the show was impressive, and there's no denying he has one of the great voices in recent pop history. He's also a very engaging, and likable sort who is great with audiences.

Appendix II (courtesy my wife): She also tells me I bought tickets and took her to a Jim Brickman concert (New Age pianist who recorded for the Windham Hill label) at Memorial Hall in Dayton, Ohio some time in the early 90s. I have almost no recollection of any of it, although it seems like something I would've done, and I do remember she had a couple of his CDs.

[lacomandante]

modern au!

send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

This made me laugh bc you know how much I've bitched to you about how complicated a modern au is for Teresa :P

While in the main verse Teresa is from Casatejada (Western Spain), in the modern au I think she would have been raised in Barcelona for a good chunk of her childhood, and her family moved to Western Spain, presumably to be with her father's family. So she's both Catalan and a Spaniard and is proud of her heritage. I don't think they would live in Casatejada though, so I haven't settled just yet on where exactly.

I think Teresa works for a government body of some sort- possibly the UN (for this AU I would pretend there was a location in Madrid for her to work at) where she gets sent out to help others, possibly with Women's Health and Rights in third world countries. But again, it's really hard to translate canon events to a modern day without ethical implications...which is why I'm more vague and never settled on a concrete idea. Just something that allows her to be in a dangerous location and meet Sharpe out in the field, but also aligns with her character :P

Teresa and Sharpe actually get to see each other way more in the modern au than the main one bc PHONES and planes and internet! Yay! With him in the military and her constantly working it's difficult to meet up, but Teresa's work allows her to work from home or elsewhere, so either she spends Sharpe's leave with him in London, or he stays with her in Madrid.

Teresa ends up moving to London into Sharpe's flat after a few years. They were never able to fully commit to moving in together because of their jobs and duties, but eventually the distance and time spent away became too much. They wanted to spend time together, and even when they had to say goodbye, they always could look forward to seeing each other. They wanted to wake up beside each other, have their slippers side by side, do laundry and dishes and cook together. They don't like staying in their respective flats without the other because wherever they are is home, and when he finally asks her to stay for good, she agrees and they make love. She moves in very soon after, as she found out they were going to be parents! Teresa still keeps her flat in Madrid, as she does still have to go back from time to time, and having her family to help is invaluable to her when Sharpe is abroad.

When Antonia is old enough and Sharpe finishes his 20 year contract with the army, they decide to move back to Spain and live in Toledo. With Sharpe retired he's very excited to be a househusband and spend his time with Antonia, and Teresa goes to the city to work or works from home. Sharpe likes to update her on the shenanigans their daughter gets up to during the day and he has a beautiful garden in their backyard and Teresa never thought she could be so happy.

Teresa's time in London made her realize just how bland Spanish cuisine is. Sharpe introduces her to roast beef and gravy, wigan kebabs, fish and chips, tikka masala....she loves gravy and can't get enough of it. She learns to make English food when Sharpe stays with her in Spain, and she had a lot of cravings during her pregnancy that thankfully could be sated in London :P

[stepfordgoth]

This is going to sound wild, but I live in Ohio, as does my dad; he literally just ordered seeds online, and they showed up without issue. He’s growing two plants currently, they look great. There’s Reddit posts suggesting the best sites to do this from. It sounds unbelievable, but it worked for him, so I don’t see you having an issue.

Otherwise, my next suggestion would be to make a friend up in Michigan (if you don’t have one already; could also be from most legal states, probably, MI is just closest) and ask them to get seeds, then maybe take a weekend trip to meet them, maybe in Toledo or possibly even Michigan itself. Hopefully the state legislature figures it’s bullshit out soon, but until then, I wish you the best of luck

Hmmm ....... Very interesting. Thank you for the food for thought, I was hoping my post would attract some kind of secret tip like this! I'll do some reddit searching.

As far as Michigan goes? I dunno man..... I don't know about making friends with a filthy michiganite.... 😉

[anotherworldnowblog]

9

ON THE DEATH OF CHIEWELTHAP MARIAR

(the following text was originally published and distributed in the first months 2023 as the final section of Service Notes #2, a zine written and edited by Chicago baristas and published for Chicago baristas and food service workers. This second issue included two personal essays from food service workers, one poem by an ex-barista, stills from Christian Marklay’s “The Clock,” selected poems by the poet-worker, Xu Lizhi, as well as the following journalistic and theoretical essay)

My friends, it pains me beyond expression to inform you that one of our own has fallen. Chiewelthap Mariar, a 26 year old Sudanese refugee and UFCW member at District Local 2, was killed in Guymon, Oklahoma on January 9th. He was murdered in cold blood by police on the shop floor after his supervisor called the cops to the meatpacking plant where he worked. Our union brother was shot dead at work, by the police, and our union representatives can unfortunately do little more than call for a federal investigation. A coworker of Mariar, who was fired for filming Mariar’s final moments, spoke to press:

“The worker claimed Mariar was fired from his job by a supervisor but was told by human resources to finish his shift. The worker said the supervisor who fired him [then] confronted Mariar on the shop floor after he was fired, and police arrived soon after to escort Mariar from the site. Seaboard Foods did… not refute this characterization of the situation. ‘I witnessed the entire thing, from when they started arguing with him until he was shot,’ said the worker. ‘He had a company-issued band-cutter in his hand. When the police got to the plant, the guy was already working, minding his own business.’ The worker provided cell phone footage leading up to and following the incident, where Mariar can be seen… working around other employees and being confronted by officers on the shop floor. The worker claimed employees were told to keep working after the incident occurred. ‘I worked in maintenance. All they had us do was cover the scene with plastic, and we proceeded to finish what was on the production line,’ the worker added. ‘This company fired me for recording the truth they were trying to brush under the mat. They never asked me if I was OK. It was my first time seeing a guy get killed – and then I get fired.’”[1]

Chiewelthap Mariar should still be here. Just like Tyre Nichols[2] should still be here, just like Adam Toledo,[3] and just like Tortuguita.[4] Our union brother, a worker, a 26 year old black man with his whole life before him, was cut down at his place of work while carrying out his assigned duties. His own boss made the telephone call that ended his life. And his union, our union, could not save him. Those workers who witnessed this heinous act didn’t even get the day off. Without the pressure of militant, radical, rank and file self-activity, the union officials can hardly do more than cry out, “Justice!” They are legal entities, state entities, and they have rules they must abide by if they wish to exist the next day. An investigation may come and some restitution pay may too. But if it comes, it will come too late.

In history, especially at its most critical hinge points, the workers are sometimes called to go beyond the limits of their union counterparts. But most of the time they simply want to get by. History is always calling us towards a greater bravery and a higher mode of living together, sometimes more loudly than other times, and yet more often than not we do not heed this call; we often can hardly hear it even when we try. The dire consequences for acting shine with the unmistakable clarity of the present and the promise of transcending that present can only be faintly discerned through the opaque mist of the future. So the workers look away and they finish their shift. And the union officials breathe a sigh of relief. This regrettable fact is not hard for us to understand. This is one side of the union. And these are the conditions of employment in America. We live in a country where you can be shot dead on the job for the crime of holding the tools of your trade. Killed because of a bureaucratic mix up, a Brazil-esque inconsistency in official instruction. And we know that in this country, being caught in such a mix up is all the more unforgivable in the eyes of the capitalist state if you are black.

Higher wages will not stop them from killing us.[5] Legally recognized bargaining power within a single company will not halt global pollution. It cannot stop war. And we are running out of time; we can all feel it. But the union is only hopeless when looked at as an end. This is not an end, but a beginning. The union can be the means by which we discover something about ourselves and about this world: that we are unfathomably more powerful together, that we don’t need the boss, that the new world exists right here in the old; the union can be the means by which we discover all of that, so long as we are open to finding it.

And this brings us to that other side of the union. It is more or less a hack “ultraleftist” talking point to say that the union is a capitalist institution. Anyone who thinks about it can understand that this is basically true. The union facilitates our smoother integration into the capitalist system. But at the same time, it is also the exact opposite. The union is the living embodiment of the cooperation, solidarity, and bottom up power that will become the basis for whatever better world comes next. The union is the form in which we combine our strength to take on the gods of this world; it is one rung in the ladder we build as we prepare to finally storm heaven itself.[6] Our very existence as a union, anytime we coordinate our activity, this is the living proof that a better world is possible. One day, this same cooperation and coordination will be generalized and it will be our only law. So we struggle for our union, even knowing that it will not save us today. We struggle anyway.

We build up strength and we gently nudge our friends awake because now is not a time for sleep. To sleep now is to die and let die. Chiewelthap Mariar was killed by the police at his job, in uniform, on the production line, and was represented in negotiations with his employer by UFCW District Local 2. What would you do if he was one of our coworkers? What would we do? We cannot sleep, we cannot go numb. Some day, perhaps sooner than we think, we will be presented with a choice: turn our heads away and go back to work or stare reality in the face and act with bravery, breathing new life into that dusty, dented, old word: solidarity.

NOTES

[1] Excerpts clipped from a recent Guardian piece: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2023/jan/20/oklahoma-pork-plant-seaboard-foods-chiewelthap-mariar

[2] Tyre Nichols was stopped and beaten within inches of his life by Memphis Police on January 7th, 2023. He died from his injuries on January 10th. He was a talented skateboarder and photographer.

[3] Adam Toledo was a 13 year old boy who was murdered by Chicago Police on March 29th, 2021. His hands were raised high above him when the police opened fire.

[4] Tortuguita was a 26 year old, queer, environmental and anti-police activist who was assassinated by police in Atlanta, Georgia on January 18th, 2023. They were a militant defender of the forest, a genuine revolutionary, and a loving friend and partner to all who knew them.

[5] Fred Moten: “The coalition emerges out of your recognition that it's fucked up for you, in the same way that it's fucked up for us. I don't need your help. I just need you to recognize that this shit is killing you, too, however much more softly, you stupid motherfucker, you know?” See The Undercommons: Fugitive Planning and Black Study

[6] Karl Marx referred to the Paris Commune of 1871 as “storming heaven” in his book of working class history, The Civil War In France

[damerondala]

I am answering the call to help you get some creative juices flowing! Hm let’s see… how about something that’s probably silly but just popped in my head lol… Rex and reader are platonic friends, until one day reader goes to text him and accidentally types Sex instead of Rex. Awkwardness ensues… 😂 (and maybe a lil spice if you wanted 👀)

oooohohoho LENA

okay first off hi i love you thank you for answering my call babe :') btu SECOND OFF holy toledo i love this prompt i'm thinkin i wanna do a little ficlet maybe hehe this turned out to be more fluffy than i thought but this was fun thank you dearest!!

Rex couldn't help the heat that suddenly formed on his cheeks, eyes wide while looking down at the holopad in his hand. It was a message from you, something that always made his cheeks feel warm, but what you sent made that nice warmth turn into a wicked blaze of fire on his face.

"I'll be there in five, Captain Sex :)"

He stared the blue text bubble for what felt like eons, eyebrows furrowing and fingers twitching while question after question plowed through his brain.

What does she mean by that? Is that supposed to be...flirting? Is she flirting with me? Does she have somebody else she meant to send that to? No, no, it was a direct response to when I asked when she'd be her-

"Hello? Rex?"

Fear shot through his body at the sound of your voice, not that he found your presence repulsing, quite the opposite, actually. Now that he thinks about it, he feels a coldness around him that only disappears when you're in close proximity to him. Your warm smile makes him feel like he is just waking up from a restful doze, all curled up and cozy. Speaking of warm, he thinks the skin on your arm looks so soft and it would be warm, a reminder of how lively you are... maker. What the fuck are you doing, Rex? She's right in front of you. Say something.

His internal thoughts are hard to shake when you're looking at him with that lopsided smile on your face that reaches your eyes. But he manages to breathe out, the bitter coldness of fear flowing out of him alongside the oxygen in his lungs. "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

You laughed beautifully, your eyes nearly closing due to how big the apples of your cheeks got when you smiled and Rex faintly noticed the way his chest puffed when he realized you were laughing with him, not at him. "I could see that. I called your name for at least a minute, Captain."

"Don't you mean Captain Sex?" Rex's stomach dropped when he realized what he'd said, it was easy to joke around with you, maybe too easy now that he found himself speaking before thinking. But that regret dissolved when you gifted him another laugh, this one even heartier than the last, "What? Stars above, what did you say?" It was hard for you to keep your composure long enough to not burst into a giggle fit in the middle of your sentence but hearing such thing come from a man so stoic was maybe the highlight of your year.

"You're the one who typed it!" Rex was laughing with you now, his wide shoulders shaking with the intensity of his pure joy that manifested into choked cries of happiness. He turned the pad so you could see your message to him, your pretty eyes scanning over the screen in front of you, blue light illuminating the high points of your face. He vaguely recalled your hand resting on the front of his shoulder while you read. He had hoped you would leave it there, come a bit closer to him, perhaps. When what you read on his pad clicked in your brain, you doubled over in laughter and tried to explain that it was that damn autocorrect but the mental image of Rex saying, "Don't you mean Captain Sex?" with that goofy look on his face made it almost impossible to have any coherent thought. You had to get your giggles out and you could feel butterflies erupting in your belly when you felt his strong hand wrap around your bicep, holding onto you as the sound of his deep laugh filled your ears.

You both hadn't laughed this hard in a while. After your laughing fit, you straightened your back and smiled at him. He returned the smile. Maker, you wanted to kiss that handsome smile so badly. Maybe one day you will. But for now, the man in front of you is a dear friend, one who would be there for you through anything, even a slightly humiliating mistype.

~

tags (fill out this form if you'd like to be tagged in future works!): @djarrexx @pastelpanda19 @milfplo-koon @sageislostinspring @s1st3r @shiny-mando @tacticalsparkles @meabravo @masterjedilenaaa @808tsuika @anthrogothic @deeplyjohnnydepp @clonecyare @zinzinina @misogirl88 @dins-cyare

**if your user isn't underlined it means i couldn't find ya, please make sure you didn't mistype your @!**

[gjblackjr]

The Shroud is Dead

I was asked about the end of The Shroud and the beginning of Luxury. I have probably the best memory of events in regards to band. Especially early on. I think a lot of that stems from the fact that by the time The Shroud started up, I had been in multiple bands. When I was a kid, starting around maybe 8 years old, we were pretending to be in bands, while other kids were out playing baseball or whatever. I always knew what I wanted to to do. It's hard to find the right combination of people to start a good verging on great band. I knew that The Shroud was it. It was the right combination of people, but it was precarious from the very beginning. It felt, simultaneously, like we could be the greatest band ever or fall apart at any given time. Probably, that is still true. It may also be worth noting that of the 4 (now 5) of us, I can be the most forceful and volatile. The one most likely to throw up a middle finger or walk out of a rehearsal. It's always been true. It's not right, but there it is. I've been that way about bands since I was 9 or 10. It's ridiculous really. The thing with memories is that it is one perspective (out of 4 in this case). If the other three people do not recall, then maybe you only get one part of the story. so, the best I can do, is give you what I remember and hopefully answer the question. All this sounds very sort of heavy and important, but we were just kids in a rock and roll band. We are older now, but it feels the same to me somehow. by the Spring of 93, The Shroud had recorded our third demo tape - a full length called Candy , Darling? and my wife was expecting our first child. He is 31 now. We were playing a decent amount - at The Dish in Toccoa, and also some in Clemson as a result of our friendship with the band Sunbrain. It felt like the things in Toccoa were growing, in general, but we were struggling to break in to the Athens/Atlanta scene. My recollection, is that there was dicussion of the band moving. Two of the cities put forth were Raliegh and Detroit. Why these were mentioned, I do not know. I certainly was not someone who had my finger on the pulse of happening scenes around America. Also, I do not recall discussion of simply moving to either Athens or Atlanta. However, all my family lived in SE Michigan, so the idea of Detroit was appealing. I do not recall at any time, sort of delineating the difference between moving to SE Michigan and moving to Detroit proper. Detroit was not a place to be back then, although it most certainly has changed in current days. It's worth noting, that this was the early 90s. Grunge had broken out of Seatlle and record labels at that time were looking for similar things in other cities/towns. Or so we thought. Also, this was pre-internet, so the information gleaned was from magazines or whatever media we could get our hands on. Over this time, I certainly began to have my heart set on the idea of moving North. The idea of being closer to family was appealing, to say the least. It would not be unilikely to say that I probably was pushing for it to happen although I do not recall that being the case. Chris's family was in Atlanta. Lee and Jamey's family had moved from Toledo, Ohio to Florida by this time - I think. I remember the four of us sitting in the main room in The Dish, All sitting in different parts of the room. Chris said that he didn't want to move to Detroit. If there was other discussion I do not recall. Lee stood up and said "that's it , then" and he and Chris walked out. I feel like I am missing something. I just remember sitting on the floor, back to the wall, practically in tears, because we would not be moving North, but at least as important, if not more, the band seemed to have just split. There was no discussion of maybe moving somewhere else, it was just, boom - done. In retrospect, it feels sort of ridiculous, that we couldn't mange to sort that out. Even as I write this, I remember how rotten I felt.

[rainydawgradioblog]

Rainy Dawg Radio's Favorite Lyrics Ever

These are, to our best knowledge, our favorite lyrics ever.

Parks

“Stuck Inside of Mobile With the Memphis Blues Again” - Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde

“Grandpa died last week and now he’s buried in the rocks. But everybody still talks about how badly they were shocked. But me, I expected it to happen, I knew he’d lost control. When I built a speed fire on Main Street and shot it full of holes.”

Bob Dylan.

“Ballad of the Last Five Years”- The Guess Who - Road Food

“So step right up and put your music where your mouth is.” 

Just an all around amazing line. Also The Guess Who is definitely one of the top bands out of Canada. And I do not take constructive criticism. 

“Up the Junction” - Squeeze - Cool for Cats 

“I never thought it would happen between me and the girl from Clapham.” 

The opening line of “Up the Junction” sets up one of my top ten favorite narrative songs of all time. Also see “A Quick One While He’s Away” by The Who, which is another one of the best narrative pieces, but the lyrics don’t stick to the inside of your brain quite like Squeeze. 

“Everyday I Write the Book” - Elvis Costello -Punch the Clock

“Even in a perfect world where everyone was equal, I’d still own the film rights and be working on the sequel.” 

There’s so many Costello lyrics I could have put here, but “Everyday I Write the Book” is cute, clever and one of the few not-depressing songs he’s written.

“What’s the Ugliest Part of Your Body” - The Mothers of Invention - We’re Only in it For the Money

“What’s the ugliest part of your body? Some say your nose. Some say your toes. But I think it’s your mind.”

What’s a song written by Zappa without some cynicism? Here he’s criticizing societal and generational ignorance, as per usual. In short, some people are real stupid. 

“Andy’s Chest” - The Velvet Underground - VU

“And just like in a movie, her hands became her feet. Her belly button became her mouth which meant she tasted what she’d speak.”

Thank you Lou Reed, you have outdone yourself. 

DJ eyelyds

In no particular order…and also as of right now because everything I like is tinged by extreme recency bias.

“Web in Front” Archers of Loaf Icky Mettle

“Stuck a pin in your backbone/ Spoke it down from there/ All I ever wanted was to be your spine”

As the opening lyrics of this two-minute song cut into the mix before any of the instrumentals get a chance, the catchy tone of lead singer/guitarist Eric Bachmann’s songwriting is apparent. His performance on both guitar and vocals has this nervous, sporadic energy that feels like it’s just barely being reigned in lends itself nicely to the subject matter of the song. For me, I read it as an obsessive almost neurotic love song. Bachmann wants so desperately to support this person that he would be happy physically being a part of them; to be their spine. More than happy actually, it’s all he ever wanted 

“Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales (Live at O2 Forum Kentish Town, London, England) Car Seat Headrest Commit Yourself Completely”

“And if you can’t find your friends, you can leave without them/ And if you run out of drugs, you can sleep without them/ And if you want to go home, you can call a taxi/ And if you don’t wanna talk, you can sit in the backseat/ Please! Please”

In this live rendition of “Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales” off the 2019 live album Commit Yourself Completely Will Toledo adds this outro/verse. It connects to the themes throughout the song of well… not driving drunk. But it has a more bittersweet tone than a PSA ever could, especially in the context of the entire album of Teens of Denial, especially considering the song “Drugs With Friends.” Toledo is great at painting drug use as almost a marker of innocence and notes the isolation that can come from overuse. The opening line of the added outro, “And if you can’t find your friends, you can leave without” has a sort of tongue-in-cheek tone, in the sense that it is genuine advice to get home safe, but also is a somewhat childish way of exiting the situation. Toledo knows that he’s not a saint, nor an authority. He’s just made the same mistakes and is trying to make sure you don’t do the same. Please don’t do the same. 

“Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl” Broken Social Scene You Forgot It In People

“Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me”

Sung by Metric’s Emily Haines, this whole song makes heavy use of repetition, with every lyric being said at least four times. This line is repeated the most and is also my personal favorite of the song. You can read it in so many different ways. Initially, I read it as being said to a lover, and hoping that they are constantly thinking about her. But the more interesting reading (and probably the more accurate one when considering the title) is a message to herself when she was seventeen. With this lyric specifically, a message to think about her future in a positive light, and not worry too much about her current anxieties: slow down, stop driving, take a rest, and think about your future. Not of all of the anxieties of being older, but rather the assurance that things will ultimately work out. The repetition of the line, as well as the amount of sincerity in her tone of voice help to sell this line, and the themes of the song in general. 

soph

“As the World Falls Down” - David Bowie - Labyrinth

“I’ll paint you mornings of gold/I’ll paint you Valentine evenings/Though we’re strangers ‘til now/We’re choosing the path/Between the stars/I’ll leave my love/Between the stars”

Dorky love song for the dorkiest movie. It’s so cheesy but I will say the lyrics make me emo. I want someone to love me the way Jareth loves Sarah. :(

“Army of Ancients” - Dr. Dog - Fate 

“I don’t wanna wake up/I don’t wanna move/I’ll skip the sermon and stick to the booze/I’m sorry/But I’ll take what I want in the dawn’s early light”

I think the build up to “I’m sorry” is what really gets me with these lyrics. You gotta listen to understand how he screams it. He’s truly sorry. 

“Sports” - Viagra Boys - Street Worms

“Baseball/Basketball/Wiener dog/Short shorts, cigarette/Surfboard, ping pong/Rugby ball, wiener dog/Skiing down on the beach/Sports”

Epitome of America in this one. This reminds me of the horrors of high and middle school gym class.

Ben

These are the lyrics that make me laugh the most. Attempting to narrow down the lyrics that are most meaningful to me was making my head hurt. 

"Harlem shake? Nah, I'm in Harlem shaking the weight

Shaking to bake, shaking the Jakes

Kill you, shoot the funeral up and Harlem Shake at your wake"

-Cam’ron, “Down and Out”

If the lyrics from this video counted, I would have included “Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall/Splattered his skull/I witnessed it/That was my dawg,” but I will settle for the original. Every word spoken by Cam'ron on Purple Haze is tattoed to my subconcious.

"See me on the court if you wanna diss me

Let's play a game of 21, it's really fun

I got half court shots and I'll post you up

I'm Latrell Sprewell, I'll choke the coach"

-Lil B - “Fuck KD”

I do not endorse any acts of violence perpetrated towards former NBA coach P.J. Carlesimo. 

"Put a pill in a McFlurry, I'm goofy

Shoot me, acting for the cameras, it's a movie

I can see you're gloomy, 'cause I'm too t'd

I'm a dog on the roof like Snoopy"

-Bladee - “I’m Goofy”

This one both makes me laugh and is very meaningful to me.

DJ Penny Lane

“Brokedown Palace” - Grateful Dead - American Beauty 

“Momma Momma many worlds I’ve come since I first left home”

This is one of my favorite lyrics of all time! It really puts life into perspective on how far you can go in life with “many worlds I’ve come”, yet you’ll always have those memories from your childhood growing up at home. The lyric itself is sung in a pleading way, making many listeners emotional because it's like “Look mom! Look how far I’ve come and how many worlds I’ve traveled!” So yeah baller lyric it even makes John Mayer cry when he performs it. 

“Going to California” - Led Zeppelin - Led Zeppelin IV

“Made up my mind to make a new start/Going to California with an aching in my heart”

This one hits close to home, being from California I always find myself listening to this song. It’s such a thrilling feeling to get the motivation to start something new and change your whole life. Especially when that new place feels so natural like you are meant to go there or like in the song “with and aching in my heart.” 

 “August” - Flipturn - Citrona

“But now you’re a stranger, And I’m still July, But don’t you remember, August, honey you were mine”

Current favorite song of the moment, highly recommend listening to this song in a car. The song is supposed to reflect on how in life we come across people that can be the closest people to us and know us better than anyone, then at another they become complete strangers. Flipturn wrote the song because one of the members was only having luck finding love in the month of August, then after that month everything would fall apart. I love when they say “I’m still July” because it means the person is still stuck in the month before August, making their lover a stranger. 

tide2004

“This Floating World” – I Hate Sex – This Floating World

“In my fall I would feel so light, so warm / I would have no regrets, no fear and above all things / I would be alone, floating along”

“Alison” – Slowdive – Souvlaki

“Alison, I'll drink your wine / And wear your clothes when we're both high / ‘Alison’, I said, ‘We're sinking’ / But she laughs and tells me it's just fine”

“Vendetta” – Irate (NYC) – New York Metal

“This ain't mall metal made for little bitches”

kmurph!!!!

unfortunately, i would have actually dropped dead if i tried to narrow this down to three. so, five it is. some of these are serious and some are not, and i love them all equally.

“bonfire”-childish gambino-camp

“made the beat then murdered it, casey anthony”

i laugh every single time i hear this lyric, which has got to be hundreds if not thousands of times at this point. idk if i should be laughing at it, honestly. but it has the exact desired impact. 

“no flex”-tiny meat gang-locals only

“i pull up in a foreign whip-you hear my honda civic/i pulled another foreign bitch-i think she might be british (i got a text!)”

to those whom this lyric is significant, it has layers upon layers. TMG cooked so hard on their joke music that they realized they were accidentally making unironically good music. 

“john my beloved”-sufjan stevens-carrie and lowell

“so can we be friends, sweetly/before the mystery ends?/i love you more than the world can contain/in its lonely and ramshackle head”

you could sub this out with any collection of words sufjan stevens has ever written and i would stand by it. 

“turn me down”-julia jacklin-crushing

“don’t look at me, look at the centre line/maybe i’ll see you in a supermarket sometime”

this was the best and also most utterly soul-crushing and devastating and life-ruining way to end this song. i love it.

“fear city”-surf curse-magic hour“i might just cum at the sound of the dying child in me/(wait, what did he say?)/i said my hair's just way too short to make a living/ (that's definitely not what he said)”

i just adore the complete absurdity of this. i don’t know why it was written but i’m so glad it was. brightens my day a little bit every time i hear this little exchange. also lowkey poetic.

EMI

“I fell right into the arms of Venus De Milo” - “Venus” by Television

“Not a lot of room to grow

Inside this leather terrarium” - “Type Slowly” by Pavement

“These hoes chase bread, aw damn she got a bird brain” - “I Don’t Fuck With You” by Big Sean

“You’re a star-belly sneetch, you suck like a leech you want everyone to act like you” - “Holiday In Cambodia” by Dead Kennedys

“Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit” - “The Gift” by The Velvet Underground

“Centered ‘round long time ago 

On your ability to torment 

Then you took your tongs of love 

And stripped away my garment” - “Gut Feeling/(Slap Your Mammy)” by DEVO

“I’ve been screwing on the tracks of abandoned train stations” - “Art Star” by Yeah Yeah Yeahs

“Tap all over this big world 

Take my hand you ugly girl” - “Mutilated Lips” by Ween

Caught your hand inside the till 

Slammed your fingers in the drawer

Fought with kitchen knives and skewers

Dressed me up in women’s clothes 

Messed around with gender roles

Line my eyes and call me pretty” - “Laid” by James

“I swung my fiery sword 

I vent my spleen at the lord

He is abstract and bored

Too much milk and honey” - “Transport is Arranged” by Pavement

“We were fucking corndogs” - “History Lesson Part 2” by Minutemen

“Some people like to go out dancing 

And other people, they have to work

And there’s even some evil mothers

Well they’re gonna tell you that everything is just dirt

You know that women never really faint

And that villains always blink their eyes

You know children are the only ones who blush

And that life is just to die” - “Sweet Jane” by The Velvet Underground

“Everywhere eyes

Nowhere to die

No place to shove your sharpened heel” - “Father to a Sister of a Thought” by Pavement

“ALL I WANTED WAS A PEPSI

AND SHE WOULDN'T GIVE IT TO ME

JUST A PEPSI” - “Institutionalized” by Suicidal Tendancies

“Rosemary

Heaven restores you in life

You’re coming with me 

Through the aging the fearing the strife

It's the smiling on the package its the faces in the sand

It’s the thought that moves you upwards 

Embracing me with two hands” - “Evil” by Interpol

“And he gave you a german shepard to watch 

With a collar of leather of nails

And he never once made you explain or talk 

About all of the little details” - “Master Song” by Leonard Cohen

“Stallion / walking on my back / I raised it from birth / never holding black (yeah!) - “Stallion” by The Garden

“If you want me to 

I will be the one

That is always good

And you’ll love me too

But you’ll never know

What I feel inside

That I’m really bad

Little Trouble Girl” - “Little Trouble Girl” by Sonic Youth 

“I like all the different people

I like sticky everywhere

Look around

You bet I’ll be there

Hot metal in the sun, pony in the air

Sooey and saints at the fair”  - “Saints” by The Breeders

“New Year’s Eve was boring as heaven / I watched flies fuck on channel 11” - “Private Eye” by Alkaline Trio

Sofia!!

“And when everyone winds me up I just can't wind down/ and the April rain soaks my jokes to a pulp/ the sun makes my eyes burn/ and it must be my turn/ to fly with the birds this time”

“The Birds” – Swervedriver, Ejector Seat Reservation

I LOVE THIS ENTIRE SONG AND ALL ITS LYRICS!!!!!!

“We dreamt of all of your lives as we carry home dust of the cloudless summer skies/ And the salt that we give is of us and all we ever had waste in the same place in the end

“The Same Place” – Centaur, In Streams

Apparently the lyrics to the songs on this album are about the singer’s kid that died while the album was being written, which is definitely why this song and all the rest are so sad they’re almost unlistenable. All of the lyrics to this song are so emotional and they complement its heavy sound so well. 

“Watching the parade with pinpoint eyes full of smoldering anger/ you can do whatever you want to, whenever you want to”

“Ballad of Big Nothing” – Elliott Smith, Either/Or

Honestly picking a favorite Elliott Smith lyric is kind of an impossible task, but this one always sticks out to me. This song is about being tired of your life and addicted to drugs – the repetition of the line about doing whatever you want to and the bitterness with which he says it is so impactful. 

“When the loving comes and we’re already gone/ Just like your dad, you’ll never change”

“Sulk” – Radiohead, The Bends

Lol

“I’ll make a bitch stand outside forever like the Statue of Liberty”

“I Don’t Fuck with You” – Big Sean (E-40’s verse),  Dark Sky Paradise

I mean… come on…

Zola Thomas 

“Dont trust me” - 3!OH3, Want 

 “tell your boyfriend if he says he got beef, that im a vegetarian and I aint fucking scared of him” 

3!OH3 might not be remembered as musical geniuses of their time (or remembered at all), but this might be one of the best lyrics of 2008. Using beef in its literal, and figurative sense helped create one of the most creative lyrics to come out of late 2000s electropop. While most of their other songs have faded away into obscurity, Don't trust me has managed to cling onto a resemblance of cultural relevance thanks to the genius of this lyric

“Fat lip” - Sum 41 - all killer, no filler 

“I like songs with distortion, to drink in proportion the doctor said my mom should've had an abortion”

While on its own, this lyric is a nugget of genius, the thirty seconds of “bortion” echoing before the chorus only adds to it, and really adds to the ambiance of the song. There's so many other great lyrics in this song, but the abortion echo solidifies this as the best parts of the song. 

“Taco Truck x VB” - Lana del rey -  Did you know that there's a tunnel under Ocean blvd

  “Pass me my vape, I'm feeling sick, I need to take a puff”

Lana has written many amazing lyrics throughout her career, she is known for her storytelling through her songwriting. Lana is also known for her affinity for vaping, so it might not have been too surprising when her art imitated reality, and she sang about craving her vape. She's so real for that. 

“Thrift shop” - Macklemore - The heist

 “What you know about rocking a wolf on your noggin? What you knowing about wearing a fur fox skin? I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching right through that  luggage One man's trash, that's another man's come up”

Nobody encapsulates the feeling of an amazing score at the thrift shop better than macklemore. He managed to make thrifting exciting, and gave a voice to the random crap you always see at the thrift store. 

Steven

I struggled gathering lyric after lyric from artist after artist that I found to be extremely profound or extraordinarily funny but in the end I am casting it all aside just to give you pure and unfiltered out of context Car Seat Headrest one liners. Enjoy.

I used to enjoy losing money, but now all I do is win - “Oh! Starving”

Fucking goddamn, how I love your shoulders - “No Passion”

I’m changing your anatomy, hipbone is connected to my heart -  “happy news for sadness”

You are not real. - “I Wanna Sweat”

Will they play music I like? “Sleeping With Strangers”

I was young and I loved you but then came the shabba-de-beop-dop-be-shibby-day-oh-yeah. Shabba-de-bop-bop-be-shibby-day-oh-yeah - “The Ending of Dramamine”

I’m an optical illusion - “Beast Monster Thing” 

Last night, I dreamed Obama came to my birthday party. -“You’re in Love With Me”

All my fantasies are faking orgasms - “America (Never Been)”

I won’t need my hair cut for months! - “Is This Dust Really From the Titanic?”

Last night, I dreamed I had returned to the land of my favorite highways - “Hey Space Cadet (Beast Monster Thing in Space)”

I want to kick my dad in the shins - “Something Soon”

Get a job! -  “Times to Die”

All of my friends are making money - “Times to Die” congrats Will Toledo and Crew!

You just want to see me naked! - “Fill In the Blank”

It ain’t no pair of Air Jordans - “1937 State Park”

She’s not my ex, we never met, but do you still think of me? - “Unforgiving Girl (She’s Not An)”

Can you kick his ass? Can you kick his ass for me? - “Cosmic Hero”

Oh please let me join your cult! - “Beach Life-In-Death” there are always real tears streaming down my cheeks and my face is red as hell screaming this part

You’ve just been singing about girls, what do you know about girls? Fuck - “Nervous Young Inhumans”

Getting high on nothing - “Can’t cool me down”

And my actual maybe favorite lyric ever 

I would sleep naked, next to you naked -“Cute Thing”

Thank you for reading! Next time, our blawggers will compile their favorite covers... stay tuned.

[alloracart]

I haven’t been paying that much attention to the Mudhens compared to the Loons, but boy was this game amazing to listen to. It’s probably the most interesting game I heard since I started following them in June.

As you can see from the score box, it was neck and neck. Toledo had a small lead, then lost that in the next inning. It took them two innings to get back in lead and another two gave them a four run lead. Yet, Columbus was racing to catch up, and nearly did.

What the boxes don’t show were the several times both teams got to load the bases. That was made even more chaotic by the four home runs throughout the game. Those two points in the 6th from the Clippers were from a home run while a person was on first. With all the hitting these two were doing, each could’ve taken the lead with a well placed double.

It’s most tense point was the final inning. Mudhens had a 1 run lead and was able to secure 2 extra runs to make that a more firm lead. It wasn’t likely that the Clippers could make at least three runs to stop Toledo’s lead, right?

As I was making dinner, I checked the game on my baseball app. Not the live feed, just the list of plays. I saw the Clippers had three full bases with 0 outs. With two singles and a hit by pitch, Columbus just needed to either make the fifth home run of the game or just a few walks and singles to erase that lead. I could barely focus on cooking as I saw the Clippers’ fourth batter, Zack Collins, status as a ball in play. The radio was lagging well behind, so I had to wait for the app to tell me how bad it was. How many points Columbus took with loaded bases.

1. Just 1, with 2 out. Collins got a double but the Mudhens got them and the person on first out. Toledo still had a 2 run lead, with only one Clippers player left on third. It was not officially over, a fifth home run could’ve tie the game still, but every Mudhens can could sigh with relief as the next Clippers batter got three strikes without a single ball.

It was a miracle. The Clippers rallied one last chance to take the lead or go for another inning, and the Mudhens saves themselves at the last minute. It’s nowhere near the most interesting games ever, but man was it a thriller to listen to.

[kenshinleinuell]

AUTOBIOGRAPHY

Hi! My name is Leinuell Anthony M. Vicente, you can call Lein and Turon. I am 16 years old and currently studying at Saint Pius X Institute of Cuyapo, Nueva Ecija. I live in our home town here in Calancuasan Norte, Cuyapo, Nueva Ecija where I have a lot of memories with my family and friends. I was born at Paniqui Tarlac on June 12 2006 which is also the Independence Day of the Philippines. Our life here is neither poor or difficult. We get to do things like a normal person could like eating 3 meals a day. When I was little I was so stubborn and often get lost on some places. If I remember correctly I got lost on Baguio, Manila, in malls and even in roads just by myself. Now why I know my parents are so strict to me. Our school here in our home town is just by the side of our house. Just 10-15 steps and you are inside the campus but for it's not like that because even though the school is beside our house I always get late because I always choose to play on my Tablet every morning I wake up. My Father is chef in Abroad working to help me finish school and while my Mother used to take care elderly people at London but now just a vendor sellings snacks and vegetables as a little business to help us buy things every day. The reason my Mother came back from London is that my Grandparents can handle my stubbornness and often get stress about me so they told Mom to go home to help them take care of me. I was gifted with a talent to draw back then but now really enhance and shown since I often just draw when there is no one around and I really like Drawing Dinosaurs and Sharks back then. Every since Kindergarten to Grade 6, I was always one of the Honor Students or one of the students who has the highest grades but only stayed on Top 3 or Top 4. When I enrolled in highschool I was very nervous because it's very new to me and it is nothing like elementary but what's good is that, my new classmates help me to be not shy on the campus and met all the teachers, all of the teachers were very nice. On grade 7 I was the most quiet person in our room, I don't know how to socialize to begin with since I don't know them, but it changed when two of classmates approch me which is Rei Aldrin F. Ramirez and Joseph Toledo. They were the very first friends that I have in high school. I've experienced a lot and have a lot of memories during that year and experienced how to be a piusian. On grade 8, it was hell of traumatic since a lot of go to the things I wouldn't want to happen. That time I was the most loudest and tallest boy in our room, I was huge that time and even got the teachers amazed of my height, Like I said G-8 was hell of traumatic since I've many bad things. In our foundation day, I broke the TV of our classroom and on Exam, I was caught cheating on exam. Most unlucky year of my high school years. On Grade 9 and Grade 10 it was modular and we were at home studying which is kinda easy and hard because we were used in face to face classes and we get a hard time to adjust to the modular and because of the pandemic we were not allowed to go outside for our safety. Now on Grade-11, face to face was brought back, to be honest this is the best year of my high school life, I've met new friends, got to learn to things, to be honest back from the pandemic I've changed a lot physically and mentally and I've noticed that I also improved Academically which suprises me because on Grade 7 to Grade 10 I dont receive awards but on this Year I receive rewards like Distinctions and Honors. Even though this year I've quite experienced pain rejections and being replaced but those doesn't matter as long as I fulfill my Goal and Dream of my life, it will always keep me happy.

[music-despite-everything]

More Than You Gave by Philip Levine

Philip Levine won the Pulitzer Prize for poetry in 1995 for his collection “The Simple Truth.” He was the US Poet Laureate for 2011-2012. He died in 2015 at the age of 87.

---

We have the town we call home wakening for dawn  which isn’t yet here but is promised, we have

our tired neighbors rising in ones and twos, we have  the sky slowly separating itself from the houses

to become the sky while the stars blink a last time  and vanish to make way for us to enter the great stage

of an ordinary Tuesday in ordinary time. We have  our curses, our gripes, our lies all on the stale breath

of 6:37 a.m. in the city no one dreams, the Tuesday city  in which we shall live for this day or not at all.

“Where are the angels?” I ask. This is a visionary moment  in the history of time, incomplete without angels,

without at least Argente of the tarnished wings,  or the mangled half-assed Incondante who speaks

only in riddles, or one-winged Sylvania who glows  in the dark. All off in eternity doing their sacred numbers.

Instead at 6:43 a.m. we have Vartan Baghosian with a face  seamed like a softball and Minky Schantz who pitched

three games for the Toledo Mud Hens in ’39 and lost  them all, we have the Volpe sisters who married

the attic on Brush Street and won’t come down,  we have me, fresh as last week, bitching about my back,

my bad ankle, we have psoriasis, heartburn, the four-day  hangover, prostatitis, Jewish mothers, Catholic guilt,

we have the teen-age Woodward Ave. whores going  to bed alone at last, hugging no one for that long moment

before the young Madonnas rise from separate beds  to open their shutters on whatever the day presents,

to pledge their virtue and their twitching, incomparable bodies  to Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Tupperware. All this

in rooms where even in the gray dishwater dawn  the chrome grill on an Admiral black-and-white TV

gleams like the chalice of Abraham. And from his corner  the genius of this time and place, Uncle Nate, chomping

his first White Owl of the day, calls out for a doughnut  and sweetened milky coffee to dunk it in and laces up

his high-tops and swears by the vision of his blind right eye  he will have strange young pussy before the sun sets

on his miserable balding dome. Today we shall paint,  for Nate is a true artist trained in the eight-hour day

to master the necessary and not the strung-out martyrs  of El Greco or the brooding landscapes of an awful century.

No, today we paint the walls, the lintels, the ceilings,  the dadoes, and the doodads of Mrs. Victoria Settle

formerly of Lake Park, Illinois, now come to grace  our city with the myth of her late husband, her terriers,

her fake accent, her Victorian brooches, her perfect posture,  and especially her money. Ask the gray windows

that look out on the remnants of winter a grand question:  “Have I come all the way through the fires of hell,

the torture of the dark night of the etc., so that I might inhale  the leaden fumes of Giddens Golden Gate as the dogsbody

of Nathaniel Hawthorne Glenner, the autodidact of Twelfth Street?”  It could be worse. It could be life without mortadella sandwiches,

twenty-five-cent pineapple pies, and quarts of Pilsner  at noon out on a manicured lawn in Grosse Pointe

under a sun that never before caressed an Armenian or a Jew.  We could be flogging Fuller brushes down the deadbeat streets

of Paradise Valley or delivering trunks to the dormitories  of the Episcopal ladies where no one tips or offers

a pastry and a schnapps for the longed-for trip  back to Sicily or Salonika; it could be the forge room

at Ford Rouge where the young get old fast or die trying.  So savor the hours as Nate recounts the day he hitchhiked

to Toledo only to arrive too late to see the young Dempsey  flatten Willard and claim the lily-white championship

of the world. “Story of my life,” says Nate, “the last to arrive,  the first to leave.” Not even Aesop could outdo our Nate,

our fabulist, whose name even is pure invention,  a confabulation of his prison reading and his twelve-year

formal education in the hobo camps of his long boyhood.  Wanderlust, he tells us, hit him at age fifteen and not

a moment too soon for Mr. Wilson was taking boys  off to die in Europe and that was just about the time

women discovered Nate or Nate discovered women,  and they were something he wouldn’t care to go without.

Call it a long day if you want and a hard one, too,  but remember we got more than we gave: we got myth,

we got music, we got underpaid work, a cheap lunch  with more to follow. On the long walk to the bus stop

and the ride home we hear the birds gathering  in the elms and maples thickening with summer finery,

and no one cares if we sing to the orange sun  that also seeks its rest, no one cares that our voices

are harsh from cigarettes and our ears worthless,  our timing off, and we’ve got the wrong words

in the wrong places. Let’s just give it what we have  and when that’s done give it a second time, one

for us and one for Nate, and even a third wouldn’t hurt.

[dontcare77ghj]

Don’t Touch That Dial

Wanda x reader x Vision

Non-reader POV

It was the middle of the night. Vision, Y/N, and Wanda were all sound asleep in their single beds when Wanda bolted upright at a loud thudding sound.

"What was that?" Wanda wondered aloud. She looked to her right to see Y/N and Vision sleeping. For a second, she questioned if she should chance to wake them up, but when the thuds continued, she turned the light on with her magic.

Stop being silly, Wanda chided herself, turning the light off. But what if it is something? Wanda wondered, snapping the light back on. It's probably nothing, Wanda. She decided turning the light off again, this time for good.

While Wanda was debating waking her loves, she hadn't noticed they had already woken.

"Wanda?" Vision asked, pulling his eye mask off.

"Yes, dear?" 

"Are you using your powers to turn on the light?" Vision questioned, staring at the window.

"Yes, dear," Wanda admitted, feeling guilty.

"Allow me, dear." Vision said, getting out of bed as Y/N sat up.

"What even woke you up?" Y/N asked before there was another loud thud. "Never mind."

"What do you see?" Wanda questioned Vision, who was now standing at the window.

"Only your lovely rosebushes and carnations," Vision told her.

"That's all?" Y/N wondered.

"Are you using your night vision, Vision?" Wanda quizzed the man.

"I assure you, my love, I see nothing amiss." Vision promised, turning to face both women. "You have absolutely no reason to be frightened." The android said before there was another loud bang. Vision let out a loud yelp and jumped back into bed quickly.

"You were saying?" Y/N asked, raising a brow while Wanda shook her head. 

"Actually, I did overhear a couple of lads at work remarking on a few unsavory characters settling in the neighborhood. Now, who knows what those ne'er-do-wells might be up to? Robbing houses, vandalizing property." Vision suggested.

"Walking through walls. Moving objects without touching them. Causing lightning of sunny days." Wanda teased.

"I did that once, and it was because you scared me," Y/N grumbled. 

"Wanda, sweetheart, you can't possibly be suggesting my colleagues were referring to us," Vision asked before there was another bang.

The three jumped, and Wanda caused all three beds to join.

"One of us should really determine the source of that sound." Vision commented.

"That's something we could do," Y/N said, clutching her blankets.

"One of us should." Wanda agreed.

It was more a bang this time that caused them all to jump.

"Oh, this getting ridiculous." Y/N snapped, pushing her blankets down. "I am going to take a look." 

"Be careful, Y/N."

"Oh, God." 

Without moving from her spot, Y/N blew the curtains open to reveal the tree. Its branches, crashing against the window.

"Well, I think we handled that well," Wanda said, sinking down into the bed.

"Yes, I must say I'm rather proud of myself. And look how you seized the opportunity to redecorate." Vision said, noting that all their beds were pressed together.

"This is better, isn't it?" Wanda asked.

"Mmm." Vision nodded before Wanda pointed her finger, and instead of three separate beds, the three of you were now on one large joint bed.

"Why did it take us this long?" Y/N asked, smiling at how close she was to her husband and wife.

"Wanda, darling?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Hit the lights." 

The three pulled the blankets over their heads, and Wanda snapped the lights off.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for my final trick, I bring you The Cabinet of Mysteries." Vision practiced in front of an invisible audience. "Wanda, that's your cue." 

"You said "The Cabinet of Mysteries?" Wanda called from behind him. 

"I said "The Cabinet of Mysteries."

"Then that's my cue." Wanda agreed and began to wheel a large cabinet into their living room.

"Holy Toledo!" Vision exclaimed, rushing to help Wanda. "Darling, do all the other acts in the talent show have such elaborate props?"

"Are you kidding? Fred and Linda are building a moat and a fully functioning portcullis, and no-one knows why." Wanda shook her head. 

"I heard Fred was going to throw Linda into the moat," Y/N said from inside the cabinet. "Can we hurry this along? I'm getting claustrophobic." She added.

"Let's keep going." Wanda nodded, taking her place.

"Yes. Yes. Where was I? Ah, yes, watch closely as I, Illusion, Master of Enigma, make my captivating assistant, Glamour, disappear." Vision rehearsed as Wanda held her hand up and gasped. The two opened the doors, and Vision helped Wanda into the cabinet.

"You really are very dashing." Wanda complimented, breaking character.

"Thank you, darling." Vision smiled. "Fear not, Glamour, for I, Illusion vow, to bring you back." The android said, shutting the doors on Wanda. "Abracadabra." He announced, opening the doors to reveal Y/N standing in Wanda's place. "What's this? I seem to have changed my lovely assistant into another lovely being." 

"I saw your assistant in the dimension of the cabinet," Y/N said as Vision helped her out. "To bring her back, I think you'll have to try the spell again."

"So we shall." Vision nodded. He and Y/N closed the doors once more, and Vision held his wand at the ready. "Abracadabra." He said, tapping the cabinet twice, and when the doors opened, this time, there stood Wanda, who was clapping her hands and grinning widely.

"Darlings, you're not at all worried that the audience might just see through this little charade?"

"That's the whole point, sweetheart," Y/N assured her husband. "In a real magic act, everything is fake. Not everyone can do what Wanda does."

"The talent show fundraiser is the most important event of the season, and it's our neighborly duty to participate." Wanda fretted. "Plus, it's our chance to appear as normal as possible while doing so."

"Well, I don't think that should be a problem." Vision joked, gesturing to his undisguised face.

Y/N and Vision chuckled at Vision's joke, but Wanda just stared between the two.

"This is our home now. I just want us to fit in." Wanda admitted.

"Oh, Wand, of course, we fit in," Y/N promised, resting her hand on the woman's waist.

"And if not, then we shall. And we're going to knock the neighborhood's socks off. Especially if the two of you are dressed like this." Vision commented, picking up one of his wife's costumes.

"Oh, that's actually the rest of your costume." Wanda joked, cracking a smile. "Oh, Y/N, we better get going if we want to make the planning committee meeting." Wanda gasped, noting the time on her wristwatch.

"That's me off too, actually." Vision said, pulling on his sweater. "There's a gathering of the neighborhood watch at the public library. After last night's excitement, I want to make sure this town's security is up to snuff." He admitted.

"That's an outta sight idea, Vis." Y/N complimented.

"Real swell, sweetheart. You tell those tree branches whose boss." Wanda teased, leaning up to kiss the man.

"Would you look at us? Wanda, Y/N, and Vision, Westview fitter-inners." Vision smiled before kissing Y/N. "I'll see you both at curtain call." He said, moving to leave.

"Do you have your keys, Vis?" Y/N aked before he left the house. 

"Of course." Vision said, pulling on a hat and his glasses. "When have I ever forgot them?" He wondered, causing Y/N and Wanda to share a look.

"Just now, to name one time," Wanda said, floating Vision his set of keys.

"Oh. Perhaps my processors need a cleaning." Vision mused, changing his appearance and taking the floating keys. "Until curtain call!" He exclaimed.

"Until curtain call!" Both women called back.

Y/N and Wanda still had several minutes before they had to leave for the committee meeting. The two moved around the house, putting dishes away, straightening trinkets, and fluffing pillows when there was a loud noise outside.

"Do you think it's the tree?" Y/N wondered as Wanda began to move out the front door. 

But Wanda didn't respond as she continued to walk in a trance-like state.

"Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, following after her wife. Wanda moved outside and towards the rosebushes where a toy helicopter sat. "Do any of our neighbors have children?" Y/N asked, receiving no response once again.

Wanda pulled the toy out of the bush and stared at it in confusion. 

"Wanda? Sweetheart?" Y/N asked, resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Howdie stars!" Agnes exclaimed, suddenly appearing at the gate. 

Both Y/N and Wanda jumped as Agnes chuckled.

"Agnes! Y/N!" Wanda chuckled, holding one hand to her chest. "I'm sorry, what did you say, Agnes?" Wanda asked, taking Y/N's hand and clutching it tightly.

"I brought my pet rabbit," Agnes said, holding up a cage with a large rabbit. "For your magic act." She explained.

"Yes, of course! Thank you, Agnes." Wanda nodded. 

"We promise we will take good care of him," Y/N added, taking the cage into her arms. "I'll take him inside." She told Wanda.

"I'll come with. I'll lock the back door." Wanda said, following her wife.

"Senor Scratchy just loves the stage. He played baby Jesus in last year's Christmas pageant." Agnes bragged loudly as the two Vision women took her rabbit into their home. "Good morning, Dennis." That was the last thing Y/N and Wanda heard from Agnes as they disappeared into their home.

"You gonna tell me what all that was about?" Y/N asked, putting Senor Scratchy's cage beside the couch.

"What what was all about?" Wanda asked, locking the back door.

"The helicopter." Y/N reminded. "You blanked out on me." She said as they moved back towards the front door.

"I'm having a spacey day, sweetheart. That's all." Wanda assured, closing the front door and stopping Y/N on the porch. "I promise." She said, pressing a kiss to Y/N's lips, taking her hand, and walking back down to Agnes. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Agnes smiled, hooking her arm around Wanda's free one. "So, are you ready to meet Queen Cul de Sac and her merry homemakers?" Agnes questioned the two.

"Dottie, can't be as bad as you say, Agnes." Wanda laughed.

"Wanda, have you met most women? Not everyone's like Agnes or us." Y/N asked, causing Agnes to laugh.

"She's right, you know? You'll notice Dottie's roses bloom under the penalty of death." Agnes told the two, though Wanda scoffed a little. "Can I give you girls a bit of friendly advice?" Agnes asked, stopping in her tracks.

"Is it about how we're dressed?"

"Yes, but it's too late for that now," Agnes said, looking the two over. 

Wanda looked concerned, but Y/N couldn't bring herself to care.

Pants were slowly becoming more incorporated in women's daily wardrobe, and Y/N wouldn't be giving them up for anyone.

"Dottie is the key to everything in this town." Agnes continued. "Country club memberships, parties, school admissions." She teased the two. 

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Wanda shook her head, though there was a smile on her face.

"You get in with Dotties, and it'll be smooth sailing from here on out," Agnes told them. "Just mind your P's and Q's, and you're gonna do just fine." She said assuringly.

"Why can't we just be ourselves?" Y/N asked.

"More or less so," Wanda added.

Agnes stared at the two in confusion before letting out a laugh.

"That's good, girls. Very good." She said.

"Everyone, hurry up, please." A new voice called. 

The three women turned to the left and noticed a fair-haired woman leaving a house with a procession of women behind her.

"Hiya, Dottie!" Agnes called. "Your roses are divine!" She complimented, waving a hand.

Y/N and Wanda both followed suit and waved as well. Wanda little more enthusiastically than Y/N's awkward one.

"Well, thank you." Dottie smiled politely and waved daintily. 

Neither Y/N nor Wanda knew just what they were getting themselves into.

Y/N, Wanda, and Agnes all followed Dottie and her group to the country club. The three had sat to the side as Dottie's followers meticulously set everything up.

As one woman spoke about the fundraiser's progress, Wanda watched Dottie intently as the woman made her ice tea to her liking.

"The rotary club is finishing the stage set-up as we speak. They've given the gazebo a fresh coat of paint, and they'll be installing the final decorations all throughout the town square. And if you recognize the antique footlights, it's because they're from my store." The lady standing finished explaining with a fake smile.

"And the chairs?" Dottie asked, tilting her head to the side.

The woman seemingly froze at Dottie's question before she forced a smile back onto her face.

"I'm sorry, Dottie. I didn't ask about the chairs." She admitted.

"So you better not ask me if you can chair any committees in the future," Dottie said, grinning at the other women who laughed at her words. "The devil's in the details, Bev," Dottie said, standing as Bev rushed back to her seat in shame.

"That's not the only place he is," Agnes said to Wanda.

"As you all know, the talent show is the sole fundraiser for Westview Elementary," Dottie explained.

"This might help," Agnes said, raising a small flask.

"Do you have any spare?" Y/N asked, leaning over Wanda, but Agnes shook her head.

"In the eight years since I founded our little club, this event has gotten bigger and better every season." Dottie bragged as a woman passed around a tray of biscuits to Y/N, who handed them onto Wanda.

"Say, those pants are peachy keen. Both sets." The mystery woman complimented.

"Do you really think so?" Wanda asked with wide eyes. "The other ladies are in skirts. I was worried."

"Not me," Y/N mumbled, sipping her drink.

"We only have a few hours until showtime. So, a little less cross chatter and a little more focus would be greatly appreciated," Dottie interrupted, causing the three to freeze.

"Okay." Wanda nodded, passing along the tray. 

"Those little boys and girls are counting on us. All of this is for the children." Dottie said.

The other women, bar Y/N and Wanda, parroted back the phrase, 

"For the children."

Y/N looked very uncomfortable at the chanting women and muttered,

"This is a cult."

But Wanda had been eating her biscuit and parroted the phrase back after everyone else had finished. 

Everyone turned to stare at the Vision women, and Dottie looked more than displeased at the two.

"So I want you all to give yourselves a big hand," Dottie started but was interrupted by Wanda clapping loudly. "At the appropriate time, of course." Dottie scolded as you grabbed Wanda's hands and pulled them down. "But first, let's review event etiquette. The dress code is, of course, upscale garden party,"

"The only reason I didn't clap is that I'm afraid to move." The woman beside Y/N leaned over to whisper.

"I don't think I was paying enough attention to clap," Y/N told her. The woman smiled while Wanda lightly hit her wife's leg.

"I actually don't know what I'm doing here." The mystery woman admitted. 

"I'm starting to feel that way myself," Wanda admitted. "I'm Wanda." She said, holding her hand out.

"I'm, uh, Geraldine." The woman introduced herself after taking Wanda's hand.

"And I'm Y/N."

"And I'm irritated." Dottie interrupted, staring at the three of you, her features pinched together in anger. "Tickets for tonight are completely sold out. Now you can clap." Dottie commanded. The woman allowed everyone to clap for five seconds before she raised her hand. "And stop."

"How is anyone doing this sober?" Agnes muttered, shaking her head.

Across town, Vision had finally made his way to the library and was rushing inside. Afraid to have missed his chance at joining the committee.

Vision quickly found the group he was looking for, surrounding a table, speaking quietly amongst themselves.

"Pardon me, is this the neighborhood watch meeting?" Vision asked, standing to the left of the group, his hat in his hands.

Everyone turned to stare at the man, all clearly unsure what he was doing there.

"Oh, hiya Vision. Didn't expect to see you here." Norm said. "This is sort of a 'members only' type of deal." He informed his coworker.

"Oh certainly! Right, well." Vision stuttered, rocking back on his heels. "I'll just stay here and be quiet as a church mouse until you open up the floor for new business." Vision assured the assembled group.

"Well, in truth, we were just getting to new business." Herb, his next-door neighbor, admitted.

"Oh, splendid! Could you tell me how often you rotate security patrols?" Vision inquired, pulling up a chair between Herb and Norm. "Do you interface directly with local law enforcement? And what are your protocols for threats such as burglary, graffiti, and reckless driving?" He pushed.

"No Vision," Norm started, but Vision interrupted him.

"I know these are indeed grave matters." Vision nodded.

"New business actually means another round of Danish," Norm admitted.

"Raspberry or cheese-filled?" Jones asked, pulling a box onto the table and sitting it before Vision.

"Oh, neither for me, thank you. I don't eat food." Vision said without thinking. 

Vision didn't even register what he had said until he noticed the rest of the table staring at him in confusion.

"What I mean to say is that I don't eat food in between meals but at mealtimes. I'm a regular eating machine." Vision rambled.

There were a couple nods at Vision's reasoning, and Herb even huffed out a short laugh before he leaned in close to the table.

"Hey fellas. Vision here does have a point. Now listen up because I got some top-secret intelligence for you." Herb told everyone who leaned in closer to hear.

"Oh, excellent!"

"You know how Johnson's been braggin' about that treehouse he built for his kids?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a prefab job," Herb informed everyone. The table immediately scoffed at his words and nodded along.

"That blockhead can't even hold a hammer." One mocked.

"I can do you one better." Norm bragged. "You know those bowling trophies Arthur's always polishing? He bought 'em all at a yard sale in Hackensack."

"I knew it! I've never once seen him down at the lanes." Herb shook his head.

Is this how I'm to fit in? Vision pondered. By peddling gossip and stories? Well, if it is to fit in. He decided, nodding to himself.

"I, too have, some top-secret gossip to share." Vision announced. "Norm here's a communist." He declared.

Norm froze for a second as the rest of the table turned to face him. But he didn't have to worry as everyone burst out into boisterous laughter, Norm included.

"Vision, you're a real cut up." Jones complimented.

"You know, I always thought you were kinda square," Norm told him.

"Me? No! I'm as round as they come." Vision said, causing the rest of the men to laugh once more.

"Hey, Vis, card for a stick big Red?" Herb asked, offering a stick of gum to the android.

"Well, hold on a second. Didn't you hear the man? He doesn't eat food." Norm teased as Vision held the gum between two fingers.

"Is gum food?"

"Well, my understanding is that it's purely for mastication." Vision shrugged, turning his head to Herb for began to stutter.

"Oh no, I don't do that!" Herb denied, shaking his head firmly.

"Well, when in Westview." Vision shrugged, unwrapping the gum. "Cheers." He said, raising the stick before putting it in his mouth.

"Who knew you were such a funny guy?" Norm asked.

"And to think you came here all hot and bothered about protocols and nonsense." Herb chuckled. "We actually thought you were serious," Herb said, slapping Vision on the back.

At the rough and sudden movement, Vision accidentally swallowed the gum in his mouth.

Vision could feel the wad of gum sliding down his throat and getting stuck in his internal processors.

"He's funny. All right, so, back to the barbeque." Herb directed the meeting back on topic. 

But what none of the other men noticed was Vision's growing panic at the foreign object now stuck in his internal processors.

Back at the country club, it was now only Y/N, Wanda, and Dottie. 

Wanda and Y/N had been tasked with cleaning up after the meeting while Dottie sat prissily behind them.

"And this is why you never do a seating chart on an empty stomach," Dottie commented as Wanda heaved a heavy tray of plates onto the table.

"Golly, you're a whiz at all the committee stuff, Dottie." Wanda complimented as Y/N picked up two stacks of teacups. "Thank you for choosing us to help you clean up. I feel so lucky." Wanda commented, taking one stack off Y/N's hands.

"You are." Dottie shrugged as they lugged the china onto the cart.

"I don't like her," Y/N whispered into her wife's ear once their backs were to their host. "Let's just split now."

"Not yet." Wanda denied before turning back to Dottie. "I can't help but wonder if the three of us haven't gotten off on the wrong foot, Dottie. And I'd like to, we'd like to, correct that if we can."

"And how would you do that?" Dottie asked, her face void of emotion.

Wanda didn't have an answer for Dottie as she chuckled awkwardly and glanced at her wife for an answer. But Y/N didn't have one either.

"I've heard things about you," Dottie revealed, rising to a stand. "About you, about your husband, and about your wife," Dottie said, pointing at both women.

"Well, I don't know what you've been told, but I assure you we don't mean anyone any harm," Wanda said as Y/N moved to stand beside her.

"I don't believe you," Dottie said, staring the two women down with a mean glare.

For a minute, the three women merely stared at one another. Dottie glared in distrust, Wanda looked almost scared, and Y/N was glaring at Dottie for threatening her wife, husband, and their life here.

The staring contest was interrupted by the radio crackling loudly before a man's voice came through it.

"Wanda. Wanda, can you hear? Agent Barton, do you read me?"

"Who is that?" Dottie asked, looking at the radio in fear.

"Wanda? Y/N?"

"Who are you?" Dottie gasped, now turning her fearful gaze to Wanda and Y/N.

The voice continued to call for both Wanda and Y/N. It kept repeating their names until a glass shattered.

The glass in Dottie's hand shattered, and the radio silenced.

"Dottie!" Wanda gasped, gazing at Dottie's bleeding hand in shock.

Wanda quickly took the woman's hand into her own as Y/N pulled a handkerchief out of her pocket.

"Pop quiz, Wanda," Dottie said as Y/N wrapped her hand. "How does a housewife get a bloodstain out white linen?" She asked. When neither woman gave her an answer, she answered her own question. "By doing it herself."

And with that, Dottie walked away.

"Wanda, what is going on?" Y/N demanded as Wanda glanced down at the radio. "What was that? Was that you? That couldn't have been you. Why was it calling me Agent Barton?" Y/N questioned her.

Wanda had never seen her wife really lose her cool in all their time together.

Y/N was always the level-headed one of the trio.

"Sweetheart," Wanda said, taking Y/N's face in her hands. At Wanda's touch, Y/N physically slacked in her grip. "You're exhausted," Wanda explained, running her thumb under Y/N's eye. "It's been a long day, and we didn't sleep last night. You need rest." 

"I need rest." Y/N agreed, nodding her head gently.

"We have time before the show to go home and take a nap." Wanda determined. "Maybe we can find something for your head at home or some tea? Does that sound okay?" 

"That sounds okay." Y/N nodded, smiling at her wife. "You know it's really your fault we didn't get any sleep last night." Y/N teased as she stood upright.

"Of course it was." Wanda smiled, wrapping her arm around Y/N's waist. "Let's get you home."

As the two began to walk away, Wanda couldn't stop herself from looking back and at the radio.

Just what was that?

Wanda and Y/N had gone home and taken an hour for themselves before they had to get ready for the show and bring their props down to the town square.

All of their neighbors had prepared an act. Everyone was performing.

Wanda, Y/N, and Vision were the last act on the agenda. The only problem with their performance was that they were missing a key component.

They were missing Vision.

"I'd hate to go after this guy." Geraldine giggled, staring at what was happening through the curtains while Wanda paced.

"What?" Wanda panicked. 

"Oh no, not like that. You guys are gonna be great." Geraldine assured. 

"Oh, what time is it now?" Wanda asked, beginning to pace again.

"Wanda, it's been two minutes," Y/N told the woman.

"I just don't know where he could be."

"Wanda, Vision will be here," Y/N promised, stopping her wife in her pacing by taking her hands. "He promised, and he'd never break a promise to us."

"Is that him?" Geraldine interrupted, pointing to a man stumbling up the stairs. 

Y/N and Wanda both turned to see their husband stumbling up the steps of the gazebo.

"It looks like he's got a little hitch in his giddyup," Geraldine commented, shaking her head.

"Vis?" Wanda asked, moving towards the man.

"Wanda! Wanda, my little cabbage, you look smashing!" Vision complimented before letting out a groan.

"What have you been doing?" Y/N asked, stepping next to Wanda.

"Not to worry, my little squash, me and the boys were just playing a rather thrilling game of horses with shoes." Vision said before shaking his head. "No, that's not right. Shoe horses. Horse's shoes!"

"Listen, something strange happened with Dottie," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's arms. "And before that. Something strange has been going on all day. It's hard to explain." Y/N told him.

"I was just playing with his shoes!" Vision yelled, pointing his finger at a man walking by in a horse costume.

Both Y/N and Wanda stared at their husband in confusion. He'd never acted like this before.

"What is going on?" Wanda asked a tad hysterically.

"You are!" Geraldine interrupted.

Wanda rushed to the curtains where Geraldine was peeking her head out to see Dottie giving a speech.

"I want to thank you all for coming out to support Westview Elementary, "For the Children." Dottie gushed.

"For the children." The crowd parroted back.

"The whole town's in this cult." Y/N shook her head.

"And for our final act, I give you Wanda, Y/N, and Vision," Dottie announced, politely clapping as she left the stage to sit with her husbands.

Wanda grabbed Y/N's hand and pulled the woman through the curtains.

The two smiled at the audience as they moved to their spot and, at the same time, gestured for Vision to exit.

Except Vision didn't exit. He completely missed his cue. 

"Hey! Hey you! You're up, Cowboy!" Geraldine snapped backstage at Vision.

"What?" Vision asked, struggling with a deck of cards. "Oh, shoot! I've got to go!"

Vision rushed towards the stage, and instead of exiting calmly, as they had planned, Vision burst through the curtains.

"Hello, Westview!" Vision exclaimed as Y/N and Wanda exchanged looks. "It's so lovely to be. I'm so sorry!" Vision apologized to a handrail he had bumped into. "Excuse me. I am Allure, and these are my delightful assistant's Illusion and Glamour."

"I am Glamour," Wanda interjected, raising a hand in a flourish.

"And I am Allure," Y/N added, copying Wanda's movements. "And this is the incredible,

"Illusion." The two introduced.

"Whatever they said." Vision nodded along. "Today, we will lie to you, and yet you will believe our little deceptions because human beings are easily fooled. But that's not your fault!" Vision told the audience. "It's because of human's limited understanding of the inner workings of the universe." He shrugged while his wife's once again stared at him questioningly. "Flourish!"

"You don't have to say it out loud, honey," Wanda muttered.

"You just do it. Like we practiced." Y/N added.

"Bah!" Vision waved off the advice. "And now, my wive's and I will delight in your dumbstruck little faces. Flourish!" He called before he was suddenly floating above the stage.

Wanda and Y/N froze at their husband's actions. And they weren't the only ones. 

Everyone in the audience saw what Vision was doing, and they all gasped at the sight of him floating.

What was he thinking?

Wanda's head snapped to the audience, and she noticed Dottie watching intently. 

Thinking quickly, Wanda pointed at Vision and conjured a wire for him to float from.

Y/N, noticing Wanda's actions, rushed across the stage and moved a poster board revealing the lever connected to the rope and pully.

"Ha! Do you see? He's using a rope!" Norm called from the audience.

"Wanda, what's, oh God! No! Y/N, stop her!" Vision yelled as Wanda began to pull Vision higher, to the audience's delight. "Darlings, let me down! I'm feeling pukey!"

After that line, Wanda finally lowered Vision to the ground as the audience clapped loudly.

"Thank you!" Vision smiled. "What's next? Oh, yeah, this is, this is gonna be great!" He said, moving over to the piano. "A staggering feat of strength!" He bragged, raising the piano with one hand.

The audience gasped and stared at the man in confusion.

"What do you think of that?" Vision asked the crowd.

"Illusion." Wanda gasped, struggling to think of how to fix this. "Illusion, Master of Engima, allow me." She said, wiggling her fingers subtly before rushing across the stage.

Wanda grabbed the piano out of Vision's hand, and it was replaced by a cardboard replica.

"Whoops!" Wanda gasped as she showed the audience the fake back. "You weren't supposed to see how we did that trick!" She teased, causing the audience to clap and giggle.

"That was my grandmother's piano," Jones said in the audience, watching as Wanda threw the piano to Y/N.

As the piano was removed from the stage, Vision turned his sights to the audience before excitedly exclaiming,

"Sherbert! This is my old mate Sherbert!" Vision yelled, moving towards the crowd. "Stand up, Sherbert! Say hello to the crowd!" He demanded, rushing beside the other man.

"It's Herbert. Herb." Herb clarified.

"Pipe down, Sherbie, and pick a card." Vision said, pushing the deck in Herb's direction. "Any card, now put it back in the deck." He ordered, turning his back to his neighbor. "I'm not looking. All right, watch this."

Vision halved the deck and pulled out the King of Diamonds, holding it smugly in front of Herb.

"Is this your card?"

"No." Herb shook his head.

"I beg to differ." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card towards Herb.

"It's not."

"Really?" Vision asked, cocking his head to the side. "Is this your card?" He questioned, pulling out another card.

"Vision," Y/N said from the stage, a fake smile on her face.

But Vision ignored her as he continued to pull cards from the deck.

"Is this your card? Is this your card? Is your card?" Vision kept repeating, showing cards and then throwing them to the side as Herb denied him.

"Sweetheart?" Wanda asked as cards flew everywhere.

"Is this your card?" Vision demanded, pulling out the King of Spades.

"Oh, it is," Herb said, surprised at it finally being pulled out.

"It is what?" Vision asked, staring at him in confusion. 

"It's my card." Herb smiled.

"Well, pardon me, Herb. Have it back." Vision scoffed, thrusting the card into the man's hands.

"No, that's not what I meant. You did the trick right." Herb told him as Vision stormed away.

"Well, of course, I did the trick right. I'm Illusion!" Vision exclaimed, rolling his eyes. "Flourish!" He emitted, bowing deeply.

Wanda and Y/N quickly began to clap at Vision's trick', causing the audience to join.

"And now, for my next trick," Vision began to announce.

"He's still going?" Y/N whispered to her wife, who sighed.

"Where's my hat? Who stole my hat?" Vision asked, turning to see his hat on the stage floor, Senor Scratchy hopping out of it. "Oh! Stop that rabbit!" He called as Y/N, and Wanda chased after the rabbit. "I've got to pull a hat out of you!"

"Senor Scratchy's got real star quality, don't you think?" Agnes asked anyone who would listen as Wanda caught him.

"Maybe we leave the poor bunny out of this one, shall we?" Wanda questioned, stroking the rabbit's fur gently.

"That sounds swell," Y/N said, approaching Wanda with the cage.

"Well then, I will just have to pull this hat out of myself!" Vision determined, facing the audience with a grin.

"Vision no." Wanda gasped, staring at him pleadingly.

"I'm doing it."

"Don't you dare," Y/N said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Ah-ha!" Vision cheered. Having ignored his wives pleading, Vision had gone ahead and pushed his hat through his torso.

The crowd didn't clap, and they didn't gasp. Everyone merely stared in confusion, not understanding what they just saw.

"If only we could tell you our secret." Y/N awkwardly smiled as Wanda wiggled her fingers.

The curtains opened behind the three, revealing a set of mirrors to the audience.

The assembled crowd let out sounds of recognition and began to clap, now understanding the trick.

"Is that how mirrors work?" Bev wondered a costume horse head on her lap.

"Shut up, Bev." Dottie scolded the other woman without even turning to look at her.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our grand finale." Vision announced as Wanda moved to get the cabinet while Y/N closed the curtains. "I bring you the Magnet of Crysteries!"

"The Cabinet of Mysteries," Wanda told the crowd, a slight snap in her tone.

Wanda was so fed up with how the day had gone that all she wanted was to get the show over with.

But she was so focused on her frustration that she never noticed, Y/N wasn't in the cabinet.

"I will now make my wife disappear!" Vision announced, opening the doors to show the crowd and shutting them before Wanda could enter.

"Are you sure you don't want an audience volunteer named "My husband Ralph?" Agnes called from the crowd.

The rest of the crowd, particularly the women, laughed at Agnes' joke.

"No. Abracadabra!" Vision cheered, tapping his wand on the cabinet door.

"Uh, Vision, sweetheart?" Wanda said from where she still stood.

"Yeah?"

"Hi." Wanda waved, causing Vision to freeze.

"Oh."

"Hiya, darlings," Y/N announced, now standing beside Vision.

"Oh." Both her partners said, now staring at her.

"What's in the box?" The crowd began to chant. "What's in the box? What's in the box?"

"What is in the box?" Vision asked, staring at his wives in confusion.

"What's in the box? What's in the box?"

Wanda pointed at the cabinet, and when she and Vision opened the doors, there stood Geraldine.

The audience all gasped at the woman's appearance before beginning to clap wildly.

"Let's bounce," Y/N said, grabbing Vision's hand and dragging him off stage with Wanda following behind.

Once away from the crowd, Vision immediately began to cry.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid." Vision cried.

"Vis, it is all right," Wanda assured, putting her hands on Vision's chest.

"Vision, it's okay, everything is fine. You're not stupid." Y/N added, taking his hand in one of hers.

"But what is going on with you?" Wanda demanded of him.

"I have no idea!" Vision cried. "I've been feeling weirdy all day!"

"It's okay. We can solve this," Y/N told him soothingly.

Wanda stepped back and raised her hand towards him. She began to scan through Vision's systems and stopped in the middle of his torso. 

Vision let out a groan at the sensation as Wanda's eyes widened.

Wanda worked her magic and forced the gum out of Vision's systems.

The gum forced itself up Vision's throat and out of his mouth.

"Disgusting," Y/N said, cringing at the scene.

"Well, would you look at that? That really gummed up the works, didn't it?" Vision joked, the gum that had caused so many problems between his fingers. "I'm not as funny without it, am I?" He asked when neither of his wives responded.

"Oh, honey, no," Y/N said, squeezing his hand. "You weren't funny with it either." She teased.

"Well, you're back to yourself." Wanda sighed, relieved.

"And that's all we really need," Y/N promised, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

"Now, let's get out of here before Dottie, and the planning committee, string us up for ruining the show," Wanda said to the two.

"Don't joke. The cult might actually do that." Y/N commented.

"I'm sorry, what cult?" Vision asked, looking quite concerned.

"I'll explain later," Y/N promised as the three reached the edge of the curtains.

The three tried to inconspicuously sneak away from the show but were stopped with a cry.

"You three, stop right there!"

"Oh, we're dead." Y/N cringed as the three began to turn around with grimaces adorning their faces. 

"Nothing, like what the three of you just did up there, has ever happened in the history of our talent show," Dottie told the three.

"Dottie, we are so,"

"Hilarious." Dottie cut Wanda off. "That was the most hilarious act we've ever seen. Wouldn't you agree?" Dottie asked the crowd, who applauded in agreeance.

Wanda let out a relieved chuckle while Y/N grinned victoriously.

"Oh, yes, of course!" Vision exclaimed, playing along as if everything that had just happened was intentional.

"You three, come on up. Come on." Dottie ordered. 

The married three all looked at one another before agreeing it was safe to move on stage.

"On behalf of the planning committee, I would like to award you with the inaugural Comedy Performance of the year," Dottie announced, handing Wanda the trophy.

The audience rose to their feet and began to cheer for the three.

Wanda, Y/N, and Vision all giddily grinned as Wanda raised the trophy, and they indulged in their moment.

Wanda heard clapping from the stage side and turned her head to see Geraldine clapping happily.

Y/N, noticing where Wanda was looking, also turned to Geraldine and began to gesture her over.

"Come on." Wanda mouthed as the other woman hesitated.

With a bit more encouraging, and Vision pulling her over, Geraldine finally moved to stand with the three, a smile on her face.

"I do have to ask," Geraldine whispered, turning her head to Vision. "One second I'm backstage, and the next, I'm in a dark cubby hole." She said as the four bowed. "How'd you do it?"

"Oh, a magician never reveals his secrets." Vision said sagely. "He leaves that to his assistants.

"And she's not talking," Y/N told the curious woman.

"Nope. Neither of them are." Wanda added with a sly smile.

"Why did I have a feeling you'd say that?" Geraldine asked with a giggle.

"For the children!" Norm called from the crowd.

"For the children!" The rest of the crowd repeated.

"It's still culty," Y/N whispered in her wife's ear.

The three were in a joyful mood as they walked home. Despite the show not going the way they had wanted it to, everything had turned out okay.

They had fit in with their neighbors, entertained their friends, and no-one was any the wiser about their secrets.

"When did you learn to salsa dance?" Wanda laughed, watching as Y/N and Vision danced down the street.

"I don't remember when I learned to, I just know it was at night, and I read many books on the subject." Vision said as he twirled Y/N out.

"Of course you." Y/N laughed before she took over the dominant role and began to lead. She then spun Vision towards Wanda.

The three continued to dance into their home, their costumes and other items balanced in skilled hands.

"You were tremendous, Glamour." Vision complimented, opening the door as Wanda dramatically fell into his arms.

"As were you, Illusion," Wanda said, grinning up at the man.

"Despite the circumstances." Y/N smiled, entering behind the two. Wanda had moved out of Vision's arms to put the trophy away, allowing Vision to wrap both arms around Y/N's waist.

"Why, thank you, Allure." Vision said, smiling down at his wife. Y/N returned the smile before leaning up to kiss the man.

"I don't know what I was so worried about." Wanda sighed, taking her seat on the couch. "It wasn't so hard to fit in at all." 

"And all we had to do was be ourselves." Vision agreed, sitting to her right.

"At least the public version," Y/N smirked, sitting on Wanda's other side.

"And it was all for the children."

"For the children."

"For the children."

"Well, I think the children might need some popcorn," Wanda commented.

"And some coffee," Y/N added as she and Wanda rose to their feet.

"Wanda. Y/N." Vision said, stopping the two of them in their tracks.

"Hmm, what?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" 

As Vision rose from the couch, his gaze remained focused on their stomachs, causing the two to finally look down.

"Oh shoot." Y/N gasped, noting hers and Wanda's matching bellies. 

"Is this really happening?" Wanda asked, a hand on her engorged stomach and her other on Y/N's.

"Yes, my love." Vision smiled, leaning down to kiss Wanda gently as if she would break if he applied too much pressure.

"We're gonna have a family." Y/N smiled, pressing her fingertips onto Wanda's stomach as her husband and wife pulled apart.

"We are, my dove." Vision nodded, grin still attached to his face, before leaning down and kissing Y/N with the same gentleness.

"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.

As Wanda kissed Y/N, there was a loud banging outside, causing the three to jump.

"If that's that damn tree again, I'm going to rip it out by the roots." Vision snapped, storming towards the door.

"Don't touch my tree, Vis!" Y/N exclaimed as she and Wanda followed after Vision.

"I don't see anything," Wanda said as the three searched the yard for the noise.

"What is that?" Vision asked, standing at the gate. Y/N and Wanda moved to see what he was looking at and saw a storm drain cover moving.

As something began to climb out, Vision moved forward and wrapped his arms around his wives protectively.

A man in a beekeeper's costume emerged, a swarm of bees surrounding him.

"No," Wanda whispered as the man's head snapped towards the three.

"We're pregnant." Wanda grinned, her eyes slightly glassy before she pulled Y/N into a kiss. Hers more firm than the one's Vision had done.

When the two pulled apart, it was as if their world was suddenly all the more vibrant. 

Their home was bright, and the three were glowing. 

"Everything's changing," Y/N said, looking at her partners with a grin.

"It is." Vision agreed, pulling the two women into his embrace.

"All for the better," Wanda told the two.

And it was. 

Taglist will be open throughout the series.  

@x-uglyprincess-x @imthedoctorlove @loveinnoya @unknownalien3388 @bindythedemon @summersimmerus @buckmesidewaysandcallmesteve @natasharomanoffismywife @mcsteamy4ever @monxpeet @amywinehouseisgod @milleniumloki @buckybarnesplumwhore @kennedywxlsh @drpepperobsessed @madamevirgo @superbsccissorsdeanexpert @itty-bitty-witch @essenceproxima @severusminerva @okkulta @mrscasnovak @niki-is-a-thing

[iconic-ponytail]

there's always money in the banana stand

riverdale promptathon week 3: yellow + business

Even as the sun sets, even as the breeze blows, the hell furnace of July in Riverdale burns on. It’s triply as sweltering inside the tiny booth running three freezers, offloading heat to sustain the frozen merchandise inside. “How can it be so hot in there when we are supposed to be selling frozen bananas?” JB complains, at least twice a week.

She’s twelve. Complaint is her new first language. She complains about being left in Riverdale while Gladys went back to Toledo. She complains about living in a trailer park that usually does not have warm water. She complains about their father being imprisoned for covering up a gruesome murder. But most of all, she complains about working in the banana stand.

Child labor laws aside, Jughead can’t blame her for that one. He hates the damn banana stand, but it’s their best shot.

Gladys’ monthly check covers rent and utilities for the trailer. Everything else is on him, now. The idiot eighteen year old who decided to petition the court to be his sister’s legal guardian. Well, and his idiot mom who signed off on it. So he needs money, and the Jones family has never been particularly flush with cash, just trampled over by FP’s failed “business opportunities.”

Enter: the banana stand.

It’s not the fastest revenue stream, Jughead finds. But it’s got potential.

Initially, Dilton doesn’t let him sell during the Twilight Drive-In’s concession stand hours. Before or after the movie, sure, but no overlap. “I’m not worried about competition, Jones. It’s just too humiliating for me to watch you sweat through that horrible yellow polo you call ‘branding.’”

But when customers asked him more than twice a night when the banana stand would be open, Dilton caved.

It’s not like being open during the screening hours is a whole lot more preferable. He only just transferred from Southside to Riverdale High last spring; now he’s the rising senior who hands out phallic symbols from inside a giant phallic symbol. Not exactly a boon to his popularity.

Still, recently the money is enough to pay the internet bill and keep JB fed for dinner when she can’t go to the summer breakfast and lunch program at the local park district. It’s still not enough for him to eat particularly well, and the smell of hot dogs and slurp of his classmates’ slushies makes the heat feel like a minor inconvenience.

He eyes the tip jar, willing himself to wait on rampaging the concession stand until the beginning of the film roar dies down. It’s a double feature tonight, which means maybe he can score enough cash to cover those damn college application fees his counselor will start hounding him about week one of school.

Then he sees her—Betty Cooper. She’s laughing, watching Archie Andrews try to catch popcorn in his mouth, tossed by his paramour, Veronica Lodge. She pauses to sip from her slushie straw, her lips—which he’s watched argue against homophobic and racist comments in their advanced lit class, or pressed to the cheek of her other best friend, Kevin Keller. Which he’s imagined, doing slightly less savory things, though the mere thought of said imagining has his heart pounding wildly.

(Jughead’s been eating way too many fucking bananas. Someone needs to check his potassium levels.)

His absolutely pathetic gaze, once available three times a day in their shared classes where Jughead has still not managed to exert any confidence whatsoever regarding speech, eye contact, or general acknowledgement of Betty Cooper’s existence other than whatever drooling may or may not be happening, all of which he finds he has no control over… is all interrupted by the absolute polar opposite of Betty Cooper. Hiram Lodge zooms up to the banana stand on his segway, angling to a stop just before taking out the stand’s foundation.

“Still getting a hang of that, Mayor Lodge?”

Hiram grimaces. “Just checking that you’ve renewed your business permit, Jones.”

They do this once a week. It’s still the same permit.

“You know,” Hiram starts as Jughead rustles for the paperwork to make him go the fuck away, “I could find you an arrangement with a better banana supplier. For a discount. If you’re interested.”

Jughead rolls his eyes. “I’m not interested in your GMO, black market bananas, Hiram.”

Hiram gives him a pointed look. Jughead rolls his eyes even harder. “Mayor Lodge.” He proffers the papers, Hiram waves them away. “I’ll take one chocolate peanut butter dip. With peanuts.”

Jughead kisses his teeth. “That will be $3.50.”

Hiram’s whole face goes serpentine. “Not between business partners, Jones. Put it on my tab.”

Jughead grits his teeth, handing the finished banana so aggressively he hopes that the chocolate splatters and stains Hiram’s $500 tie. It is only slightly worth it to watch Hiram struggle with navigating the segway one-handed, frozen banana in the other.

He muffles a chuckle before realizing he’s used the dead end of the chopped peanut topping, and exits the stand to update the order board hanging on the outside. It’s mostly an excuse to feel a ten degree drop in temperature, a sweet relief he might be able to extend by grabbing a hot dog before the intermission rush.

He’s crossing off peanuts from the topping list and spinning around when he hears a shriek and a sudden, cold slosh across his chest. The yellow polo drips with artificial blue slushie, but Jughead swallows his fucking hell when he sees that the shriek, gaping stare of horror, and stumble in question all belong to his very own blonde kryptonite.

“Oh my god. Oh my GOD, jesus, shit, I’m so sorry!”

Jughead is frozen while Betty grabs about half his napkin dispenser and starts pawing at his shirt in a vain attempt to right the giant sticky blue mess all over his chest.

Finally, Jughead swallows the golf ball in his throat and chokes out. “Honestly, it’s fine. That stand is a sauna. I needed that.”

Betty stops, both her blotting and her stream of apologizing (which includes a fair bit of cursing, and he is a little revolted with himself by how much this turns him on).

“It’s going to get very sticky, soon. Maybe I should buy a bottle of cold water?”

Jughead can’t help himself. “Oh, impromptu yellow t-shirt contest?”

Betty grins.

I did that.

“Do you have any employees who could bring you another shirt?”

Jughead shakes his head. “Just my sister. She’s playing video games at home. There’s no earthly way she’ll bring me a spare.”

Betty cocks her head. “I had a feeling you were more than the silent back row kind of guy.”

The fact that Betty Cooper has, at any point, considered what kind of guy he is triggers full-on nervous blathering. “I’m usually very tired at school. I have this little sister—but I’m kind of um, her guardian. So I’m doing this stupid banana stand thing because it’s like one of the three assets to our entire family name I guess? Anyway, it’s hard to engage with Haggly’s basic discussion questions at eight in the morning when you spent the whole night dreaming about wholesale banana margins.”

He’s essentially vomiting words, but Betty is still smiling.

“Anyway, I should crawl back into my fruit-shaped purgatory and let you go back to your friends.”

She’s biting her lip, hedging. “Honestly, they’re probably using the alone time to make out in the car, and I’d rather let them get all their sexual tension out so that I don’t have to feel it radiating off of them for the whole second half of the double feature.”

Jughead laughs and tamps down the impulse to offer her a frozen banana, because he cannot possibly say something like that without making it sound sexual.

“What are frozen banana profit margins like, anyway?” Betty asks, either genuinely interested or legitimately flirting with him. Jughead finds both potentials baffling.

Jughead hesitates, then ducks inside the stand, pulling out his spiral bound notebook. “I’m still kind of figuring it out. All my records are in here.”

Betty sidles up to the stand, taking up the whole window. They’re both leaning over the scribbled line items on college ruled paper; he can smell her shampoo. She takes the notebook, scanning thoroughly.

“Do you have a pencil?”

He hands her one and observes her going to work, writing out some algebraic formula and calculating quickly in her head. There is a calculator within his reach, but he thinks handing it to her might come off as an insult. (Jughead wouldn’t know; he assumes Betty is in an advanced math class. Jughead is not.)

After a few minutes of watching her devoted focus, thinking about her hands touching his pencil, thinking about her hands wrapped around his hand, or his—

“I don’t know how to tell this to you, Jug.”

The shortening of his name stops his heart for a jolt, and his response is embarrassingly delayed. “What is it?”

Betty winces but smiles through it, a combination she’s surely learned to use when delivering bad news. It’s well earned, it really does soften the blow.

“There’s no money in the banana stand. At least, not with these margins.”

Jughead finds himself less than devastated by this news, mostly because it makes a hell of a lot of sense. The messenger doesn’t hurt, either.

“But,” she interrupts. “I don’t know if you’ve nailed down your course load for senior year. But I’m taking AP Econ? This could be, um, a good project. Like, if you want to take the class. Or even if you don’t. Not that you’re like a project or… whatever. I’m just saying we could figure it out. Make lemonade out of… bananas.”

Betty Cooper is extremely cute when she stammers.

Jughead doesn’t know what to do, so he gives her an easy out. “I can’t like, hire you, if that wasn’t obvious by the whole… deficit spending or whatever the whole negative circled number at the bottom of the page really means.”

She flushes. “No, that would be highway robbery. I just thought there might be an… opportunity. For um, us. I mean, for you and I. I mean—” she clears her throat, as if it’s closing up. “An academic opportunity. Or, in your case, professional. Well, a betterment of your livelihood. Okay, um, shit, just… I should go!”

She turns away, her face the deepest scarlet he’s ever seen.

“Betty, wait.”

She pivots back, eyes down at the ground.

“How about I buy you a new slushie and you come back into the booth. Tell me everything I’m doing wrong for the rest of the night.”

Betty looks up, biting the corner of her smile. “Sounds like a deal.”

They shake on it.