#So it's probably closer to 80 active blogs???

[lycorogue]

Prev tags: #5000#it would be more but tumblr won’t let me so I unfollow inactive blogs every so often HOOOOOW!? 0_0 I'd be so overwhelmed!

be kind, rebagel <3

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Forever stamps cost $13.20 for a book of 20 right now, 66 cents a pop. Looking up envelopes, they range from $3.50 to $4.75 for a pack of 40, $9.99 for 100, about 10 cents a pop. Printing at my local library costs 10 cents per page, 20 cents if it's double sided. Altogether, setting up a physical newsletter would cost about a dollar per copy to mail to subscribers. I don't expect to have many takers, so I could almost certainly pay for it out of pocket. I have something like 15 or 20 active mutuals, maybe 30 or 40 regular followers whose names I recognize. At a buck a pop that's $60 per month, max, which is less than internet and utilities, easily doable. And that's assuming 100% turnover, so realistically it would be much less.

I've been meaning to ease myself off social media, but I don't want to lose all the connections I've made, so I think this might be the ideal format for me. I read about fanclubs in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, I read about offline communities of likeminded dorks who created something together, printing out entire fanzines, dozens of pages, absolute labors of love for zero profits, and I wish I could have been part of that. I miss getting mail, I miss magazines, I miss physical media, I miss not being spied on and having my thoughts sold to advertisers and cops. Not everything has to be profitable, some things are worth investing in for their sake.

I thought about making a magazine last year, even set up a blog about it, but as I thought about the logistics I realized it would be too expensive and mostly filler. A newsletter is much more manageable; cheap and short, but dense enough to say what I want to say without overstaying my welcome. Three columns per side, six total, something like 40 lines each, maybe five or six words per line, 1200 to 1500 words per issue, probably closer to 1000 after factoring in pictures and subheadings. Maybe this too is overly ambitious, but it's worth a shot. I'll keep you all posted.

[generatorsreviewinfo]

The differences between portable and standby 4000 watt generators

When it comes to choosing a generator, one of the first decisions you'll need to make is whether to go for a portable or a standby unit. Both options have their advantages and disadvantages, and the decision ultimately comes down to your specific needs and circumstances.

In this blog post, we'll take a closer look at the differences between portable and standby 4000 watt generators, so you can make an informed decision.

Portability

The most obvious difference between portable and standby generators is portability. Portable generators are designed to be moved around, making them ideal for outdoor activities, camping trips, and other temporary power needs. Standby generators, on the other hand, are installed permanently and require professional installation.

Power Output

Another major difference between portable and standby generators is power output. While portable generators can provide up to 4000 watts of power, standby generators can provide much more, sometimes up to 20,000 watts or more. This makes standby generators ideal for powering an entire home during a power outage, while portable generators are better suited for powering specific appliances or tools.

Fuel Type

Most portable generators run on gasoline, which is readily available at most gas stations. Standby generators, on the other hand, can run on natural gas or propane, which are typically connected directly to the generator. This means that standby generators don't require you to go out and purchase fuel every time they need to be used, which can be a major advantage during a power outage.

Run Time

Portable generators have a limited run time, typically between 8 and 12 hours on a single tank of gas, depending on the load. Standby generators, on the other hand, can run for days on end, as long as they have a steady supply of fuel.

Noise Level

Portable generators are notoriously noisy, producing up to 80 decibels of noise or more. This can be a major disadvantage if you plan to use the generator in a residential area or during outdoor activities where noise is a concern. Standby generators, on the other hand, are designed to be as quiet as possible, with noise levels typically ranging between 60 and 70 decibels.

Ease of Use

Portable generators are generally easier to use than standby generators, as they don't require any professional installation or wiring. Simply fill the tank with fuel, start the engine, and plug in your appliances or tools. Standby generators, on the other hand, require professional installation and wiring, which can be costly and time-consuming.

Cost

Portable generators are generally much cheaper than standby generators, with prices ranging from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars. Standby generators, on the other hand, can cost several thousand dollars, not including the cost of installation and wiring.

Conclusion

So which generator is right for you? If you need a generator for temporary power needs, such as camping trips or outdoor events, a portable generator is probably your best bet. If, on the other hand, you need a generator for backup power during a power outage, a standby generator is the way to go. While they are more expensive and require professional installation, they provide a reliable and convenient source of backup power that can keep your home running smoothly during an outage.

[archibaldtuttle]

Watching Tideland when I was 16 as part of my complete chronological Terry Gilliam retrospective might be the most traumatizing cinema experience I've ever had.

I do want to talk about it, but I will tell you up top : I don't recommend you watch this film. I don't want to go into the events of the film in detail because that is not something I want on my blog and so this post does not qualify as a list of things you can expect in Tideland. If you really want to check it out, read a summary first. I'm being serious.

Now I've watched a ton of horror films. Between the ages of 14 to 19 I had access to a huge digital library of pirated horror films, a lot of the cheap cheesy 80's slashers, but others genuinely horrifying. I can be a little bit of a wuss BUT I don't get my stomach turned and my mind blown easily by horror.

Tideland fucked me up. To the point that, even though I absolutely, 100% recognize that it is a very well made film, probably one of Gilliam's films closest to his intent and vision, a beautiful work of art that aligns perfectly with his obsessions and themes, I genuinely cannot recommend it to anyone or watch it again.

There's no monster or alien or ghost or serial killer. There's no stalking murderer or torture devices or even that much active tension. But there are some of the most fucked up situations I've ever seen put to film. And the fucked up situations aren't even the problem really, I've seen a lot of intensely wrong scenes put to film. The problem is that those things are happening to a child. And that child is too young/too sheltered/too alienated inside her own mind to realize how fucked up they are.

The film is designed to make you want to protect the main character. It is designed to make you follow and understand her slow mental decay as her young mind tries and fails to process what happens around her. It is designed to make you feel helpless, because you cannot reach into the screen and pull her out. She's not getting attacked or beaten. She's not being pursued by some kind of beast. She's suffering from something that may seem outwardly outrageous but is, at its core, extremely real and extremely human.

Tideland is set in a sort of island where the sea is endless fields of wheat. The main character is taken there as a way to "protect" her, by isolating her from the real world. There, she finds figures that seem familiar and unknown at the same time. She is left alone. Found. Adopted. Her mind fractures. The train gets louder and louder at night. As though the rails were getting closer. It's called a shark. The tide is creeping closer, inevitably. It will sweep the fragile edifice she made of her own mind to try and keep it afloat.

Tideland is a beautiful film. I will never watch it again.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

What is it about BTS’ music (and them in general) that does it for you? I feel like you’ve mentioned before that you aren’t really a fan of many other, if any, K-POP groups, so I was just curious what exactly it is that attracted you to them? There are so many other talented groups out there, but it’s almost like BTS has a stronghold on the industry and K-pop fans. I’m a huge fan of BTS, but I’m also a fan of all of NCT’s subunits, BP, Stray Kids, etc., and in many aspects, they’re just as talented as BTS. So for you specifically, what’s so special about BTS?

I think there's been a misunderstanding here and maybe you're confusing me with someone else, but I don't remember saying I'm not a fan of other K-Pop groups. I think I actually answered a question a few months ago specifically about that. I do listen to other K-Pop groups and solo artists, it's just that I'm not talking about them extensively on this blog and I don't have the amount of knowledge on them, compared to BTS. It has nothing to do with them being talented, but me ignoring them because BTS is more special. I'll get into why I stuck with BTS, but before that, I'll explain how I decide to get into a group and it has nothing to do with a so called reluctance to K-Pop in particular.

I mentioned this before, but the previous band I really got into was Pearl Jam, way back when I was in college. Of course that meant my primary focus was on that band, but it also introduced me to grunge and the other bands that emerged during that period. I automatically got my history lesson, I had songs from other bands in my playlist, but 80 percent of it was Pearl Jam, 10 percent Nirvana and the rest were other songs. It had nothing to do with my reluctance or dislike of other bands. It was just that my mind was set for like 2 or 3 months only on one band and that was it. I couldn't get out of that. And then it slowly faded and I moved on to other stuff and I went back to my usual playlist which is more diverse.

The same thing happened with BTS. The reasons why I stuck with it and didn't grew out of it after a couple of months it's because they're an active group with an incredibly big library of intermedia content. That's what kept me here, not just the music. If it were just that, I'd have probably forgotten about BTS by now. Just look at the focus on this blog. I may answer random questions from a fan perspective, but the topics in my bio are the ones that actually interest me here.

And I'll be honest with you. BTS's music is not special to me. It doesn't impress me, just like the majority of pop songs don't. I still like pop music, I listen to it on a daily basis. I'm not some stuck up purist that stays away from everything that's fun, but at the end of the day, if someone would ask me to make a top 10 of my favorite songs/artists/bands, BTS wouldn't be there. Nor Lady Gaga, Beyonce, The Beatles or whatever big name is out there that everyone knows. This has more to do with my personal taste and what I believe is the type of music that has an impact on me as an individual. Not an objective statement about the quality of that music. I like songs where I can clearly hear the instruments and I don't mind a 5 minute guitar or drum solo. Lyrics that tell a story, closer to prose. If I want a commentary on societal issue that is close to my own beliefs and the shape in which I want to hear that, I'll listen to Pink Floyd. If I want a story that could instantly make me cry I would play some Joni Mitchell, Nick Cave, Leonard Cohen, Cat Stevens, Simon and Garfunkel. If I want a good guitar solo, I will choose Prince, David Gilmour, Jimmy Page or Jimi Hendrix. I think you get my drift. That's were my affinities lie in terms of the music that I will listen to until I get old because it's the type that speaks to me. I don't even listen to it daily. I usually choose a basic pop songs playlist that can include BTS, other K-Pop groups and Western Pop.

And now that I got that big chunk out of the way, no, I don't believe BTS is the best out there and I don't think their music is the most special out there. I never did and that's not something that ever crossed my mind. Not even when I used to listen to them daily. They have good albums and others less than good, just as any other group. Their lyrics don't speak to me, but that's once again, a personal opinion. It doesn't mean I don't see why they have an impact on other fans and how they can be incredibly complex in some of the songs. I can give credit where it's due. I think they can put on some amazing performances and stages, without any doubt, but not all of them are. They're not perfect or special to me in terms of their music.

I think what contributed a lot to their success is their use of social media and the intermedia content. Big Hit was smart and knew how to use that in order to build a strong bridge between the group and their fans. As with other groups as well, but particularly with BTS, the parasocial relationship is crucial. Fans are not actively engaged every single day only because they like the music, but because they like the men behind it. Because they're nice guys and they're funny and cute and relatable and a miriad of other reasons which are clearly not just about music.

BTS has a stronghold on the industry because they made it big, including in the West, on a scale that other groups can now pursue as well. BTS didn't open the gates, but they clearly broke down some walls and made the door bigger. But this is just in terms of breaking out in the West and having that type of validation in mind which in my opinion, should not be the number one indicator of success or quality of music. BTS are the gateway to K-Pop. They are the mainstream and some fans get stuck at the entrance and others choose to explore other rooms. And perhaps it's difficult or they simply don't want to move on because the relationship with BTS is already deeply established and it's stronger.

[honey-dewey]

Moreno Family Movie Night

Pairing: Marcus Moreno/GN! Reader

Word Count: 1,658

Warnings: Mentions of the events of the movie Jaws, but this is 100% fluff

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell​

The prompt for this week’s Writer Wednesday was given, as always, by the lovely @autumnleaves1991-blog​, and the masterlists are created by @clydesducktape.

“What the hell do you mean you’ve never seen Jaws?” 

Marcus looked up from the breakfast table, eyes wide. You and him had been talking about childhood movies and he’d admitted to never seeing the classic movie. “I dunno,” he said. “I just never saw it.” 

You sat beside him, still slightly shocked. “You were, what, a teenager in the 80’s?” 

“Yeah.” 

“And Jaws came out in the mid-seventies.” 

“Yep.” 

You stared at Marcus. “And you haven’t seen it!” You said, probably a bit louder than you should have.

Marcus laughed, taking your hand. “Babe, is it really that much of a tragedy that I haven’t seen Jaws?” 

Nodding, you kissed Marcus’s knuckles absently, already looking up movie tickets on your phone. “Yes it is, Mr. Moreno. Yes it is.” 

Two days later, you had a plan. There was a beautiful vintage drive-in theater that was doing a marathon of summer movies, and Jaws just so happened to be on the list. You got tickets, getting a third knowing Missy would probably be joining you, even if she just slept in the backseat the whole time. 

Naturally, you told Missy all about your plan first. 

“Hey kiddo,” you said, poking your head into her room the day before movie night. She was doing homework, but looked up when you came in. “Wanna go somewhere special tomorrow night?” 

“Yeah!” Missy said eagerly, jumping up. “What are we doing?” 

You smiled. “I’m taking you and your father to see Jaws at a drive-in.” 

Missy hugged you, her homework entirely abandoned. “Really?” she asked. “Is it scary?” 

Laughing, you nudged her back towards her desk. “Well, when it was made, it probably was. But now? Not really. The special effects are, pardon my language, complete shit.” 

“That sucks,” Missy groaned, flopping back into her chair. “But it’ll still be fun!” 

You nodded. “Yep. Gonna be fun.” 

The night of the movie, you insisted on going out to eat, as a treat because Marcus had been working his ass off at work and deserved to relax for one goddamn night. He accepted, grinning as you took him and Missy to your favorite tiny little burger place, just outside the drive-in. The burger place was technically a food truck, but the burgers were so damn good you didn’t care one bit. 

Sitting at a picnic table with your food, you sat practically in Marcus’s lap, handing him his burger and passing Missy’s across the table. The night was warm but not overly stifling, with the setting sun in the background and the gentle sounds of the evening rolling over. It was peaceful, even with Missy shooting you amused glaces in between fries. You simply smiled at her, giving her the barest of head shakes when Marcus wasn’t looking. 

“So,” you said, stealing one of Marcus’s fries and smiling at him when he poked your side. “Missy, how was school?” You were trying to keep the conversation mundane, so as not to give away your plan. 

“Good!” Missy said happily. “I started a new project in science today. It’s all about animal classifications.”

Marcus nodded along as she spoke. “Really?” 

“Mhm!” Missy hummed. “I got this list of animals, and I have to make a poster classifying all of them.” 

“Sounds fun,” you said, taking another fry, despite Marcus’s playful nudging for you to not. “And how’s your Heroics stuff going? I know you said last week there was a fight.” 

While Missy told you about how her after-school activity was going, you checked the time, smiling. Half an hour. 

When you were done with dinner and conversation, you ushered everyone back into the car, not wanting to be late for the movie. The sun had fully gone down, and you had a tiny bit of trouble finding the movie spot, but when you did, Marcus knew what was going on instantly. 

“I swear to god, if we’re seeing Jaws,” he said as you showed the attendant your tickets. “Missy is in the car!” 

“It’s a PG movie,” you reassured, smiling at the attendant when they told you where to park. “Well, PG by 1975 standards, but that means it’s PG-13 now.” 

Marcus sighed. “Are you sure?” 

You nodded, laying a hand on Marcus’s thigh after you’d parked. “Hon, I watched this movie about a dozen times when I was like, seven. She’ll live. Plus, it’s only PG-13 because people get eaten, duh, and you can see the silhouette of a woman’s bare boob for like, half a second. It will be okay.” 

Reassured, Marcus began to fiddle with the radio, as per the instructions on the screen in front of you. The radio fizzed and hissed, sound going fuzzy until he found the right frequency, playing smooth waiting music. 

“Ten minutes,” you said happily, looking into the backseat. “Now is the time for bathroom breaks.” 

Missy didn’t get up, only shifted to the middle seat and scooched forward a bit so she could see. Marcus got out, but only so he could grab a few blankets from the trunk that he kept in there for emergencies such as forgotten ones at sleepovers or a car breakdown in the winter. As he distributed the fuzzy blankets, you managed to find a once lost bag of gummy bears, now unearthed from your center console. You passed Missy a generous handful, leaving the bag open in the console for you and Marcus. Just as Missy asked when the movie was going to start, the lights dimmed, and the message faded from the screen. A cool voice said through the radio, “Please enjoy your movie,” and then, it had begun. 

You smiled, taking Marcus’s hand. The movie brought back millions of memories for you, mostly memories of crowded couches and late nights with extended families. Even now, you could still remember crawling into your father’s lap and falling asleep there near the end of the movie, although it may have been the middle, but you couldn’t recall that detail now. All you knew now was that you had to make this very first viewing memorable for Marcus and Missy, just as it had been memorable for you. 

“Okay, the first attack is kinda super scary, so be warned,” you said softly. “Missy, honey, if you get scared, just tell one of us, okay?” 

Missy promptly shushed you, focused entirely on the movie. You smiled, turning back to the screen. 

Not even five minutes later, Missy and Marcus were gasping, meanwhile, you were unfazed by the frankly terrifying death that had occured. 

“I’m never swimming in the ocean again,” Missy decided, scooting back and trying to conceal a yawn. 

“I second that,” Marcus added, gripping your hand tighter. “You’re sure this isn’t scary?” 

You nodded, smoothing your thumb over the back of Marcus’s hand. “I promise,” you said. “That’s the scary bit.” 

Around the halfway bit of the movie, you heard Missy shift in the backseat. Turning, you smiled as she yawned widely and lay down, her eyes barely open at this point. “Missy,” you said softly. “If you’re tired, close your eyes. I have this movie on DVD, and we can always watch it later, okay?” 

Missy gave you an exhausted thumbs up before turning over and burying herself in her blanket. You leaned closer to Marcus, placing your head on his shoulder. He moved so he was closer to you as well, cuddling up as best he could with the center console in the way. 

Despite the late hour, you and Marcus stayed awake for the rest of the movie. It was hard, but eventually, the movie was drawing to a close, and you were finally ready to fall asleep, even if you were the one behind the wheel. 

“Babe?” Marcus mumbled as the credits began to roll, nudging you to see if you were still awake. “Hey, you up?” 

You nodded, stretching and pulling the blanket off of you. “Yeah. Did you like the movie?” 

Marcus yawned, looking into the backseat, where Missy was still stretched across all three seats, using a spare blanket as a pillow. “Should I wake her up?” 

“She has to buckle in,” you pointed out, starting the car and fiddling with the radio so it was playing actual musica again. “So yeah.” 

After Missy woke up, accompanied by a lot of groaning and complaining, you pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive home. Missy fell asleep again, sitting upright and leaning against the window, and Marcus very quickly began to do the same, his hand loosely holding yours as he drifted off. You smiled, the gentle sounds of your two favorite people sleeping mixed with the soft music coming from the radio lulling you into a place of peace. 

Home came too quickly. Despite how exhausted he was, Marcus carried Missy into the house, laying her in her bed and pulling her blankets around her. You stood in the doorway, waiting for Marcus. He smiled, giving you a gentle kiss before following you to your bedroom. 

“Tired?” you asked, watching Marcus stumble around the room looking for the pyjamas you were holding. He nodded, grinning at you. 

“Yeah,” he said softly, coming towards you and taking the pyjamas. “Good movie though.” 

“Really?”

Marcus nodded, wrapping you in a warm bear hug. “Mhm,” he hummed, the vibration of it in his chest rumbling through you. “The special effects were garbage, but it was really good.” 

You smiled, wrapped in Marcus’s hug, warm and safe, there was no place you’d rather be, especially after a night like the one you just had. Nothing could make it better than it already was like a Marcus Moreno bear hug. “Just wait until I make you watch the rest of them. In the third one, the shark’s brother or some shit is out for revenge.” 

Marcus groaned into your shoulder. “No. No, absolutely not. We are not watching that.” 

“Aww, but-” 

“Nope!”

[mary-is-writing]

(The banner is by @ecwrenn)

Hi there!! I read about this activity proposed by @ecwrenn and I thought about giving it a try. A Year of Writing is basically a newsletter to sumarize the writing you did throughout 2021, as a way of closing the year.

I don't have the greatest memory so it took me a little bit more than I thought to remember all I did this year, so I got my summary done by quarters.

It's under the cut, but before that I wanna say that I'm super glad I got into writeblr because I've met a lot of cool people who bright my day just by seeing them in my dash (I'm sorry I don't talk a lot on discord tho Dx). Even if my following is small I'm happy each one of you is here, and to know there's people who like and show interest in my writing has been a boost to my confidence.

Anyways, thanks!! It's been a good year. Now for real, here's my year of writing:

~ January - April ~

It was on February this year when I decided to change my blog to go into writeblr and I did the post that's pinned on my page.

Around that time I was writing the third act of The Monsters Only We See, as well as the outline for Where Camellias Blossom. After the many troubles a single plot hole on TMOWS story gave me, I finally reached the point where I could finish the second act and go fully onto the third. It was very exciting because I felt I was getting closer and closer to the end of the 1st draft after having to take a big detour to fix the plot hole.

Seeing that I was near the end of writing, I thought it was time to start prepping for another wip and I picked WCB. I had already wrote around 45 pages, but decided I wanted to take a step back and do the outline. And... Well I already new that the story in my head was long and I wasn't gonna be able to fit everything in one book, but the more I wrote the more I realized this needed to be a trilogy. After fixing stuff here and there post-writing, I managed to structure the whole plot on 3 books.

Then I got excited and also plotted a spin off. So the whole series has 4 books now I guess. Oh well.

On March I pushed myself and wrote 80 pages on 10 days or so for a contest and I was very proud of myself. I didn't won and, looking back, I get why: the stories there weren't that good. Still, I was happy to get them out of my brain and into words, and it was a good writing exercise. I'll never repeat what I did to make it to the deadline tho, that left me exhausted mentally and creatively.

It was during this time where I also did a bunch of posts about TMOWS and WCB, a new post a week for like 2-3 months. I thought about keep doing it but my writing speed is simplu not enough for it, and having to do weekly posts kinda stressed me out. So, even tjos I wanna keep doing posts like those, I think I'll avoid the weekly release format for now.

Ah, and on February, my comic celebrated its first anniversary!!! owo)/

~ May - August ~

Okay so one of the most important things of this year happened between this months because I finished the first draft for TMOWS!! I was so, so happy when I did, and ever since then I've been working on editing it. After the 2nd draft was done, I gave it to my first betaa readers and 2-3 said good things about it and also gave me insight of elements to change for the 3rd one.

Not a lot else happened here, I was mostly working on this wip and progressing on my comic, but also enjoying summer vacation and watching the Tokyo Olympics. I probably got a few new wip ideas but I'm too lazy to check them out and see which ones xd

~ September - December ~

So now, finishing the year I managed to do a 3rd draft for TMOWS. However, I think it's better to consider it a 2.1 version of the 2nd one, since the changes were minimal. I also submitted it for a contest and I'm expecting news about it for next year :D

But obviously, the most inportant here was Nanowrimo 2021!! Tho I didn't finish it I managed to reach almost 20K on WCB, so I'm calling that a win. I also realized a few errors on my outline that need to be fixed, so I'd been working on them as I write and thinking about how I'm gonna pace the first book, considering that many things and characters need to be introduced here and I want to make it as smooth as possible, without info dumps. It's gonna be tricky but, hopefully, I can do it.

(Maybe I can do a little bit of info dump and get away with it, who knows, we'll see.)

And I did the 100th page of my comic a few days ago, too! I believe it's already scheduled on Tapas for next year to be published.

~ Next year plans ~

A friend encouraged me to translate my works myself and tho I still feel intimidated by the task, I think I'll do it. So based on this, I want to open a BetaBooks account next year to get feedback on the translations I do, but also on the book in general (this won't happen if I get to win the contest tho)

I definitely want to find a way to publish TMOWS at some point next year, wether it is traditional route (via the contest) or indie route.

Maybe do something with Patreon, too? I saw somebody on Tumblr talking about using it as a platform to release book chapters and at the end give the e-book, but Idk if it'll work for me. And since my book releases aren't exactly gonna be regular, asking for a monthly payment seems like too much. We'll see, but I do wanna give it another look to see how I'll use it.

Of course, I'm gonna keep writing WCB and, hopefully, can also get a good progress on That One Wip I have in the back waiting for me. But next year's Nano is gonna be WCB again for sure, and it'll keep being that until I finish the trilogy I guess.

Thank you for a great year, and see you in the next one with more writing and more wips!!!

[rigelmejo]

Comprehension Levels

I did the actual words-known/words-on-page to find out my comprehension % of chinese (so characters known/characters on page to make things simple to count). i wanted to see how close I am to reading at that 98% sweet spot they tell people to read. so here’s my comprehension % of some novels of mine, as of 7/20/21:

撒野: 98.9% comprehension (I should just extensively read it, I could speed read the page I glanced at and guess the unknown words once I saw them)

SVSSS: 97.9% (pretty much at a comfortable reading level, the unknown hanzi were mostly parts of multi-character description words I could roughly guess the meaning of, but I was marking every unknown character)

小王子: 96.8% (again, this is as of today, I flipped to a random page so I wouldn’t have myself remembering the plot to affect how much I ‘knew’)

DMBJ 1: 96%

Peach Blossom Debt: 96% if I count name characters as unknown, 97% comprehension if I ignore character names. (I imagine part of the difficulty is my lack of xianxia reading vocab, so if I intensively read a few beginning chapters I could probably fix that).

Guardian: 95.7% understood (I picked the last page of the first print volume, as I figured if I picked the first chapter which I’ve studied and reread my comprehension level would be higher than if it was a part of the novel I haven’t read)

Update: the current fanfic I am reading 夜半衣寒，I tested my comprehension of the new chapter 16 I started. Out of 705 characters, I didn’t know 9, 695/705=0.987 so I have 98.7% comprehension! This is interesting to me, because I would guess (since I didn’t actually measure at the time), that I did not have above 98% comprehension when I started reading it (of course I’ve read like 34k+ characters of it now so I’d hope I’m more familiar with its vocab now). So this is just info for me, that if something starts out as ‘hard’ as this fic to start, if I intensively read for a while (and I’d guess probably the first few chapters since that’s where author’s own specific language is the most new and their setup/genre words hopefully get introduced), I might be able to learn enough words to put it into a more comfortable regular comprehension level for myself. I do think, at least now that I’m into the flow of this story, I’m reading it a bit faster (still on the slower end since I look up every unknown or ‘fuzzy’ word to double check the pronunciation). To be fair to me? These chapters are 20 pleco pages, which used to take me 1-1.5 hours ToT. Now they take 30-40 minutes, since I slow down to look up things and listen to certain sections, but considering they’d take 15-20 minutes to follow along to someone narrating out loud, I’m getting closer to a normal reading speed. If I sped read/extensively read these chapters instead of intensively looking things up, I may well be at 20-30 minutes a chapter. 

Last night I read 4496 characters, chapter 1 of 福尔摩斯  血字的研究. I used the click-dictionary for new words, and there was definitely a lot of new vocab (though mostly places and names confused me). All of the experiment related new vocab it was nice to see though and learn, since I like reading mysteries I’m sure those words will come up again in other stuff I read. 

Some things I find interesting about this information: I read 小王子 extensively months ago so presumably when I comprehended a bit less than the current amount (since I learned a lot of new words from context or from glancing at the english translation for some words). So whatever my personal ‘minimum’ level of comprehension I can personally tolerate when reading extensively is, it’s below 96% comprehension. 

Listening Reading Method and other activities I’ve been doing has helped my comprehension a LOT. I did NOT expect the comprehensions of all these to be as close to 98% as they are. Particularly Guardian, being at 95% - that isn’t very far from the comfortable reading material level of ‘98%’ I’m aiming for. I’m not sure how fast I can boost up my comprehension just a BIT more, but wow is it close to the goal...

On a related note, that explains why Guardian and Silent Reading have felt relatively easier for me to ‘extensively read’ when I feel like it lately. While I still have some difficulty, since I have familiarity with the general story (Guardian) or have read the english translation (Silent Reading), the new words are not super hard to guess and therefore following the main idea is not an issue. Guardian is above the 95% comprehension level for me now, and its likely I extensively read a novel I had NO prior knowledge about -  小王子 - also at 95% comprehension or less.

I looked up the comprehension level I had because I just read this article about how to pick reading material when learning a new language, and it made me curious how far Below that 98% comprehension level I usually try to read.

For comparisons, I’m curious how my personal comprehension compares to the general-vocab-difficulty tool and results I got from that (which can be viewed in this post more in depth). 

This was the novel’s ranking, from easiest to harder, based on that tool (lower number = more difficult):

小王子 2.004

DMBJ 1 1.992

撒野 1.98

SVSSS 1.9

Guardian 1.9

Peach Blossom Debt  1.858

I am guessing the difference in order of difficulty compared to my personal comprehension levels, might have to do with the materials I learn from? Or may have to do with the fact the tool sorts by full words, not characters, so 2-4 character words/phrases that are unknown would only count as one unit. Whereas when I calculated my comprehension I counted by character (since I was physically counting on paper it was easier to just go by character when counting unknown versus amount-of-content on the page). Also, the tool took a bigger sample of 2,000 words for each novel, whereas I used 300-500 characters per page samples.

It’s also possible, because of the small amount of characters in my comprehension % samples - Guardian overall may have more unknown words and put it lower than 95% overall, and stuff like DMBJ may well have a lot more words I know and potentially be more comprehensible than 96% overall. 

For the most part I had 4-15 unknown characters per page. Which could realistically affect my reading more or less depending on what role they served in the sentence. Characters in descriptions I can figure out the rough meaning of easier when reading because they’re often part of 2-4 character words and phrases where I know the rest of the characters, or they’re an emotion/mood description another word I know on the page will also re-state, but unknown characters for critical verbs or nouns affect story comprehension a lot more. Xiao wang zi is a good example of my overall actual reading level, since some unknown hanzi were in descriptions and I could ‘guess’ well enough to follow just ine, but some of the unknown hanzi on the page were verbs and nouns which makes those sections harder to comprehend. 

Some promising notes from articles!

From FluentU: https://www.fluentu.com/blog/reading-in-a-second-language/

So I am at the spot for most novels I want to read right now 95%+, where if I read with a dictionary it probably feels okay and I will learn a lot, but it will feel challenging at times.

And for a few (at least SaYe) I can really just extensive read the way its supposed to feel. 

Reading Rockets: https://www.readingrockets.org/article/fluency-introduction

This article puts 95% as the minimum comprehension level for a person to read to improve reading fluency.

This https://readingmatrix.com/articles/september_2011/prichard_matsumoto.pdf

is an interesting paper, and puts 95% as the minimum for comprehension to read unassisted, but also mentions it could be a spectrum rather than all-or-nothing. Readers who use strategies to comprehend more can improve their comprehension a bit, and readers who have background knowledge on the subject can improve their ability to comprehend the reading material a bit. 

This part was also fascinating: “ Hu and Nation (2000) sought to examine the lexical threshold more deeply. They tested the comprehension of a narrative text by 66 advanced learners, adapting the text to include frequent words estimated to be known by all the subjects. They replaced uncommon words with nonsense words in order to set coverage levels to 80%, 90%, 95%, and 100%. Comprehension of the various versions of the passages was measured by a multiple-choice comprehension test and a recall measure. Subjects at the 95% level had a mean score of 10.2 points out of 14 on the multiple-choice text, while the readers with 90% coverage averaged only slightly lower at 9.5 points. There were a wide range of scores at these two coverage levels with 7 of 16 subjects at the 90% level getting a higher score than the mean score of the 95% coverage group. The results were similar on the recall measure. Overall, while there was a clear and strong correlation between coverage and comprehension, the existence of the 95% lexical threshold was not supported by Hu and Nation. They estimate that if there was a comprehension threshold at all, it may have been between 80 and 90% since all the readers with 80% coverage had difficulty comprehending the text. Hu and Nation state that learners at the 90% were able to reach comprehension through reading skills and background knowledge. They also hypothesize that 98% may be the coverage required at which most learners can comprehend the text adequately. The mark they set to determine this was about 85% comprehension, which was much higher than that used by Laufer (1989, 1992). “

“ Lower threshold: A percentage at which comprehension becomes possible; a percentage at which few learners below have any significant comprehension of the text (referred to by Hu & Nation, 2000, as potentially being between 80 and 90%). 211 

Significant increase threshold: A coverage point above which learners’ mean comprehension increases significantly (95%, based on Laufer, 1989). 

Adequate comprehension threshold: A percentage at which most learners achieve “adequate comprehension” (suggested as 95% in Laufer, based on 55% comprehension; hypothesized as 98% coverage in Hu & Nation based on 85% comprehension). 

Upper threshold: A point above which an increase in coverage does not lead to improved comprehension (Laufer, 1992). If it exists, it is likely 98-99%.

That study may explain why some people with lower vocab knowledge ‘feel’ more ok with reading at lower comprehensions (that’d be me lol ToT). When I was learning french, I started reading extensively at a somewhat low vocab level, and in english I knew in elementary school I’d pick up novels for adults and read some sometimes, and by end of elementary I had a college reading level, so mm.

[imacrowcawcaw]

Hi I come with a rather silly question, but I was curious, according to your perception how would you describe the personality of every girl in the GVF fandom here at tumblr

That's not a silly question at all, I think it's great and actually quite creative!!!

It seems to me that there are a couple types, which is normal cause there's a lot of us lol. We're not all the same, even if we have some interests in common!

Types of Greta Van Fleet Fans on Tumblr as Observed By Me

Type 1: The Casual Fan

She knows their music, but it's not her favorite. She might reblog a few photos or funny things about the boys on occasion, but her blog is no where near dedicated to Greta and they probably aren't even one of her hyper-obsessions, just another artist in her library. She's more on the outs of the fandom; it's rare that she's tagged or mentioned in anything because not many of us know her. Greta Van Fleet is, most likely, an outlier in her music taste: either heavier than she's used to, or more classic rock when she's a straight up metalhead. All of this is absolutely okay! This girl is generally chill and sweet when she does get to interact, although if she ends up liking GVF more and wants to get "in" on the fandom it can be frustrating to make herself seen.

Type 2: The Die Hard Groupies

I feel kinda bad calling them this but, if given the chance, these chicks would become groupies in an instant. They love the band with their whole heart, and want to live a life of peace, sex, drugs, and rock n roll with their idols. But since they are contained to Tumblr at the moment, these ladies contend themselves with thirst tagging, sending various friends like @satans-helper and @dreams-madeof-strawberrylemonade naughty fanfiction requests and confessions, reblogging pictures of their favorite groupies from rock history, and, of course, listening to Greta Van Fleet (cause they do like the music, I want to make it clear it's not all about sex). It's a toss up whether this girl is open to any and all of the boys, or has a lane she will die in. Jake seems to be the most common.

Type 3: The Accuser

This can girl is much, much more common on Instagram, but I've seen a few here too... The Accuser takes "cancel culture" to the extreme and is canceling a person for something every single day (and encouraging others to do the same) despite the fact that she still likes them apparently (you'll see that she still posts about this person who is "awful")? She thinks the boys are abusing their fame by not promoting social justice very publicly at all times, she has problems with all their girlfriends, she thinks the album is taking too long and that they're being lazy; she goes on rants about symbolism in the songs, makes every conversation about social justice no matter the relevance, and picks fights about the most ridiculous things. (Again, this was on Instagram, but I had two girls fighting over which twin had the larger gay following and things got INTENSE). This girl is quick to anger and accuse, wants everyone to be on her side and thinks even minor disagreements are Literal Death, and still proclaims to love the band despite finding fault in everything they do. High probability she excludes Danny or hates him the most. Yikes.

Note: If you're mad at "The Accuser" one cause, hey, sometimes there are problems that need to be addressed, keep reading.

Type 4: The Defender

While I prefer this girl over The Accuser, she is also... not perfect. The Defender, in contrast to The Accuser (and probably fighting directly against her in a reblog chain no one else bothers to read cause ugh this again), thinks that the GVF boys are literal angels on earth who can do no wrong. She agrees and backs up every decision they and their management make, and always jump to their defense whether it’s music, looks, actions, or online activity being criticized. She is probably a pacifist, heavily dislikes fighting, and wholeheartedly believes in “peace love and unity”. I wouldn’t say that she is naive or irresponsible entirely, but she tends to ignore anything that she dislikes or else immediately jumps to the defense. Think One Direction fangirls circa the early 2010s. 

Type 5: The Happy Hippie Medium

This girl is what I, personally, would consider an enthusiastic yet responsible fan. She generally stays outside of the drama because it has nothing to do with her, she thinks it’s too silly to argue about, or she just values her sanity and peace. She does, occasionally, chime in on matters that she thinks are too important to be ignored, whether it’s the wait time for the album or their social media presence, and she’s always respectful about stating her opinion. She loves Greta and posts quite a bit about them, including original content, but she also has other interests that she blogs about. It could be other bands, aesthetic photos, astrology, artwork, tv shows, activism, it doesn’t really matter, but you’ll find that her blog is an interesting and utterly disorganized haven of herself. Gives great recommendations on all manner of things, and has probably been to a concert and had the time of her life.

Type 6: The Obsession Blog

This is the girl - or, rather, the blog - that is 100% about Greta Van Fleet. Every bit of content that comes in or out is GVF related; she’s the one you go to if you want a certain picture or an ear to hear your fantasies. Even more so if her blog has a specific topic, such as a Sam Kiszka blog! (Or @gretavanfleetconfessions lmao shameless self plug). She probably also has one or more side blogs where she has other content she is interested in, as well as personal information. I am surprised at how often I follow both blogs without knowing it’s the same person!!!

-----

So, I think that those 6 types covers pretty much all the types of fans of GVF on Tumblr, or maybe more accurately their attitudes and content. I admit that I probably walk the line between “Happy Hippie ” and “The Defender”; I try to keep a healthy balance between my obsessions and a healthy amount of affection to GVF, sometimes that means ignoring stuff! 

I have also noticed that there are things that a LOT of GVF fangirls have in common that aren’t band related, but make this fandom more vibrant and close nonetheless. Many of us:

are musicians

are writers 

are artists (plugging @sphoox cause she’s my favorite but seriously all the artists rock)

generally like to be creative, whether it’s crochet or cooking or making moodboards

have other shared bands, such as: Led Zeppelin, Fleetwood Mac, Motley Crue, Guns n Roses, Nick Cave, Hanson, Harry Styles, Lana Del Ray, Twenty One Pilots, David Bowie, Pearl Jam, Metallica...

have other shared tv shows and movies, such as: Avatar the Last Airbender, The Witcher, Killing Eve, Mad Men, The Office, Parks and Rec, Labyrinth, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, The Adams Family, Pirates of the Carribean...

are interested in astrology and star signs

are interested in history

are interested in fashion

love to read and learn (not necessarily in school) and have all manner of knowledge

are in the LGBT+ community

are women of color, in and outside the U.S.!

are neurodivergent 

love nature and being active outdoors

love and share various aesthetics, whether it’s cottage core or ‘67 hippy or 80s rocker vibes

I love this fandom community and hope I can remain a part of it for a long time! There are things that diversify us and things that bring us closer together, plus, of course, the four wonderful (and sexy) musicians that brought us all together in the first place. What type of fan do you consider yourself to be? Was I accurate (enough), are there more types? I hope I haven’t wildly offended too many people lol....

[ticktickblog]

Stop Being the Last-Minute Person

Everything You Need to Know about Procrastination

Understanding procrastination

Usually, we think of procrastination as a bad habit, but this might not be the case. Research by Burka and Yuen, authors of Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now, have found that procrastination is not a bad habit, but a psychological syndrome caused by one’s fear. In other words, procrastination is not purely a problem of time management. Instead, it concerns people's inner fears, expectations, doubts and pressures. 

There might be some people, like myself before, who’d always leave their tasks to the very last minute before the deadlines and look forward to a suddenly-bursted extraordinary performance, or a very best luck ever. Some even say the closer the DDLs are, the more productive they are.

So, is the deadline really a force to drive us forward in a positive way?

My answer is negative, although from the surface it may seem harmless to some people, and can to some extent be converted to motivator. However, deep inside, procrastination brings more harms than good for most of us.

Consequence of procrastination

1. On top of all the damages caused by procrastination: mental sufferings. Even though relaxing first brings instant joy, it’ll soon be replaced by overwhelmingly negative feelings: e.g. anxiety thinking, nagging pain, a guilt of not starting earlier, and etc. Not hard to imagine how painful it is to be trapped into this situation for a long period of time.

2. From the view regarding one’s physical health, there’s also detrimental consequence. Chasing DDLs usually means overworking at a late point. For example, burning the night oil in a row. If this continues as a habit, it will threaten one’s physical health as well.  

3. There might be consequences to other people as well, because people who procrastinate a lot may be bad at time management. For example, being late for a date because they’ve not started dressing up earlier, or being unable to submit a task on time because they’ve wasted a lot of time thinking. These could then make them easy to not be trusted by others, and people around them may also sometimes feel disappointed.  

Then, what at root drives us to procrastinate? What makes people consciously or unconsciously choose to procrastinate?

Reasons for procrastination

1. Excessive perfectionism

People who are perfectionists normally have very high standards to themselves and to the work they do. Therefore, they easily fall into the fear of not being able to reach these standards, or making mistakes on the way which will lead to undesirable results. By not getting started, the mistakes/failures will not happen, which means at this procrastinating point at least, they don’t have to worry too much. 

Also, many perfectionists may waste too much time thinking how to do instead of actually doing. They choose to wait till a perfect plan is ready. However, in fact there is neither a flawless plan nor a perfect outcome. Plus, it’s extremely hard for excessive perfectionists to be fully satisfied with what they’ve achieved no matter how good it is. 

2. The rewards are too far away. 

Studies have shown that the farther the due date is, the less binding force it may execute on us, and the easier it is for us to feel unmotivated to start. Compared to gaining rewards from a not-so-recent future, instant gratification is obviously much easier. 

This might be the very reason why many people choose to enjoy first and do later. For example, if the deadline for an assignment is 2 weeks from now, then spending 2 days watching a new series on Netflix doesn’t seem like a big deal. 

3. Fear of difficulty

Reason for this fear is we know the goal is too big and require hard work. Sometimes when we are given a big task, e.g. dissertation, we might be very likely to feel overwhelmed, not knowing where to start or how. The motivation then downgrades to 0. Similarly, when a monthly personal KPI has been given, even just thinking of it brings a lot of headache already, let alone start doing. 

4. Lack of awareness and skills of time management

Sad but true, I know:(  

For these ones, getting so used to an unstructured work/study style makes it even harder not to procrastinate. Never thinking of organizing or not knowing how, is a big hindrance to their productivity. But, it’s totally fine if you just enjoy the flow and do not worry about getting things done. However, for these who crave progression and success, then tackling procrastination and learning how to manage your time and organize things well is extremely important. Let TickTick help with that 🙌

5. Dislike of taking orders

As some of you might feel relatable, deadlines and dues are set usually by other people, either our professors or team leaders, to the tasks assigned. For those who have strong self-awareness and do not want to be tasked by others, they consciously or subconsciously resort to procrastination as a way to resist the order. Meanwhile, they try to declare some autonomy and freedom by refusing to do things at this moment and ignoring them till later.

Ways to fight against procrastination

The most painful part of procrastination is not working on the task, it is starting the work. Therefore, to beat procrastination, is actually to find out ways to get us started. 

Where to start

1. Set a realistic goal and fairly evaluate your ability

Make sure your goal is inspiring but also attainable, based on the evaluation of your ability now and its potential to grow, plus the time and effort needed in achieving your goal. 

For example, if I have three free weekends this month, then I probably establish a goal: finishing reading a book this month. Many procrastinators are too optimistic about their ability in the future and underestimate the time needed to complete the task. When deadlines approach, it’s just frightening and frustrating. 

2. Divide the goal into more achievable ones

If the goal seems too big to reach, then cut it into smaller pieces to reduce the fear of a sudden commitment. 

Going back to that book-reading example, to finish reading a book in a month, I may divide the task into reading ¼  every week, and then 10 pages each for working days and 20 pages each for unscheduled weekends. Compared to 1 book, 10 pages just sounds like a breeze. 

3. Trim the unnecessary and only keep the priorities

According to Pareto Principle, 20% of the things in life can determine 80% of the results. Therefore, when facing multiple tasks, sort them out based on urgency, importance, necessity and other indicators. Next, take the lead in dealing with high-priority things. This method can effectively help us abandon those low-value and insignificant activities, and rationally allocate limited time and energy for the maximum return.

4. Start from a small task 

Some may argue that starting from a hard task is better for time management. However, for a lagging person like myself before, starting is the most difficult part as I said. Therefore, an easy task can first “allure” me to start, and when finishing this, the rest of my day is then kept in a feeling-productive momentum.

Long-run strategies

1. Increase incentive mechanism 

The best way to do that is to bond the completion of a certain task with an instant reward. For example, if I finish writing my blog draft today, I’d be rewarded with 30 mins to play with my dog. If reading through all literature within scheduled time when writing a dissertation, I’ll treat myself with a big meal or an outing day. In this way, before each task starts, motivation will replace stress to activate your enthusiasm.

P.s. Please remember, what the reward for is always your hard work and progress, not the results.

2. Reduce the task aversion from a mental side: 

Go deeper into the given task and find/develop some parts you feel passionate about from it. If you’ve found out the joy of doing things, then a task will not be a task anymore, but a daily trivial, something like teeth-brushing. Those who work out consistently no matter how busy he/she is, are actually regarding working-out as a daily activity. This sounds a little bit like self-brainwashing, but believe me, it brings positive results in the long run.

Other possible solutions

1. Make use of visual tools 

Write the daily tasks down for enhanced execution force: Some research has found out that writing down your to-do tasks makes it easier for you to really complete it.

Check it done for enhanced encouragement: When I see the visual hints, e.g. a visual tick, like the logo of TickTick, that tells me I’ve achieved something, it is like an energy transferred into my body. Not only visually, it’s a mental encouragement I’ve got from the process.  

2. Create a co-supervising system

By inviting a friend/colleague to co-supervise each other, it may help you two to both keep on the right track. Also, in this co-supervision scheme, competitive people will hate to lose. By losing here actually means your friend finished her task while you didn’t. A positive competition vibe is formed here to probably give you a little gentle push.

Final words

Like what Mark Twain said,“The secret of getting ahead is getting started”. Although it’s not easy to completely beat procrastination, it’s still good to be less-procrastinated. Now is always better than later, stop being the last-minute person and get started now!

[hag-lad]

Digging Deeper

Thank you to my radiant wonderful friend @alienfuckeronmain for sending me EXACTLY the type of self indulgent wind-down activity I wanted on this otherwise depressing weekend! If anyone else wants to answer FORTY-NINE QUESTIONS about themselves, I’m super nosy and will read it all! @fight-the-seether @ptolemyofchaos @butchwizard @metalbutch @nyndelion @comrade-ziltoid @leatherdear @kristalknobb Enjoy, friends!

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I prefer black, but I always feel like I write neater in blue??

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? The city, but only if it has breathable air, green infrastructure, and decent public transit. So like... definitely no city in America lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? The ability to quickly become fluent in another language! I’ve been struggling with Spanish for literal YEARS and it’s honestly pathetic. My brain is so stuck on English.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Look pal. If I wanna drink sugar, I’m gonna have a soda, not herb water or bean juice.

5. What was your favorite book as a child? I was OBSESSED with The Wish List, by Eoin Colfer (of Artemis Fowl fame). I remember being so fascinated by how dark it was?? It’s an afterlife adventure, where the main character has to escape purgatory by atoning for her crimes of robbery and fraud and whatever. I had a crush on her, so basically this book made me want to pursue a life of crime, even though it explicitly condemns crime and depicts Hell as a very real and horrible place. I was in like fourth grade and was super morbidly curious about Hell and the possibility of going there! Lol

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Baths... but only when I’m not actually dirty going in. A bath is leisure, not hygiene.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? 100% fae! I would build my dwelling within a sidhe mound, steal shiny things in the middle of the night, make bastardly little contracts for no reason, and cause harmless mayhem and mischief because mortals really are fools (go off, robin goodfellow!) Also I love mushroom circles and dancing in the moonlight.

8. Paper or electronic books? Paper all the way! I read much more content electronically, but it’s usually in the short story or article format. Books are much better in print, I think.

9. What is your favorite item of clothing? Probably my rust-brown overalls.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I’ve always hated my name but no alternative has ever stuck, unfortunately. My name is Amy, and I don’t think it fits at all. If I knew I’d never have to correct anyone on it, I’d probably just change it to Amelia?

11. Who is a mentor to you? My little brother! He’s this genius musician, and he has taught me so much about song structure, polyrhythms, guitar technique, production tricks, all kinds of trivia that really deepen my appreciation for music and the LABOR that goes into it.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No, never, not for anything. I cherish my anonimity so much, I don’t even put searchable tags on this blog cuz I get an adrenaline spike from anxiety if too many people interact with me. I also just think fame is a fucking hideous construct. I don’t think it’s even slightly cool or desirable.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? No, I’m a fucking log. I can easily sleep for 12 hours straight. Thanks, depression!

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? No, actually. I’m very much in love, and it brings me lots of joy to do nice things with and for my partner! But romance feels very difficult for me to connect with. I’m super domestic, like, I love the idea of marriage but not necessarily a wedding, or a moonstruck romance or whatever. Those dramatic gestures feel very awkward for me.

15. Which element best represents you? EARTH. Specifically, like... dirt, or soil.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I want to be geographically closer to my family. We’re thick as thieves, but we all live like 50 miles apart from each other. I miss my brothers and my parents so much, I feel so incomplete and depressed without them to hang out with, especially since quarantine.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? See above! Lol

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. When my little brother was a baby, he had this grey car seat with a folding mechanism which held his legs in place. It made a very satisfying clicking sound when the mechanism moved, AND when it was fully unfolded, it looked a lot like a Klingon battle cruiser. (Or so my five year old brain thought.) So! My older brother and I would take this seat out of the car CONSTANTLY so that we could unfold it and “sing” the Klingon theme music from Star Trek: The Motion Picture while we scooched our car seat battle cruiser across the living room floor, pretending to shoot phasers into the TV or the dining table or whatever else got in our way.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? Gifilte fish, maybe?

20. What are you most thankful for? My family, including my wonderful partner and all the cats in our lives!

21. Do you like spicy food? Yes! But my tolerance for extreme spice decreases every year, unfortunately. So I can’t handle as much heat as I used to, but I do enjoy a good kick.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? Lmaooo I made the regretful decision to PAY FOR a meet&greet with Fall Out Boy in like 2006, which was so fucking awkward and painful, I vowed to never approach that level of lame again.

23. Do you keep a diary or a journal? TONS! I’m an obsessive record keeper. Some years I journal more than others, and I’ve found that it is super difficult to keep up with it while working full time. But it’s absolutely one of my favorite hobbies.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or pencil? Pen for writing. Pencil for drawing, and math.

25. What is your star sign? Virgo sun, Aquarius moon, Scorpio rising 🙃

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Crunchy! A shallow bath in that milk is key.

27. What would you want your legacy to be? My artwork. I go through these aesthetic phases every year that I become super obsessed with/ focused on, and I’ve always meant to catalogue them in annual art journals, but I’ve NEVER FINISHED ONE! They always get pushed aside by the need to work, and I hate that so much. If I could just take a year off work and backfill all of my missed concepts into completed books, I would be so happy. But I literally have NO WAY to pay for that, absolutely none. I fucking hate capitalism.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love to read, but finishing a whole book has been A STRUGGLE lately! Right now I’m chipping away at Tending Brigid’s Flame, which is a quaint lil devotional for the Celtic fire goddess. Very new agey, like cheesy Wiccan vibes. I love that shit!

29. How do you show someone you love them? Quality time!

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Only if I have a straw. Ice touching my teeth kinda makes me wince.

31. What are you afraid of? Incompetance, doing a bad job, letting someone down, taking up too much space, being a nussiance, etc

32. What is your favourite scent? Incense! Especially cinnamon, dragon’s blood, and amber.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I always call people, regardless of age, by the name they ask me to use. Sometimes it’s a surname or title, usually it’s a first name. I’ll ask their preference if I’m unsure. But I definitely don’t default toward a surname, that’s weird.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? COMPLETELY DIFFERENTLY!!!!!! The need for money rules literally every single hour of my entire life, and I hate it so much. I’m naturally nocturnal, but my job requires me to get up super early and sit in a car for 11 hours a day. I wake up at 5am, come home front work at 5pm, spend an hour or two trying to unwind, then go to bed and do it all over again. I hate my life! Really! I never see the stars, I never exercise, I am completely exhausted and burnt out all the time, and I barely get any quality time with my partner. If money were no object, I would sleep til noon or 1, make art and hike all day, ride my bike and stargaze all night, stay up til 4am reading and playing with my cats, and sleep like a baby. My partner and I would cook dinner for each other and watch Star Trek and collaborate on art projects and I would be so happy.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Here’s my hierarchy: Private pool > ocean > public pool

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? I’d look around to see if anyone obviously dropped it and try to give it back. If I couldn’t find anyone, I’d exchange it for dollars and deposit that shit into my account!

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Of course!! Hundreds!

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? America is evil and needs to be destroyed.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? Lmao this is so cute. If you HAD TO HAVE a tattoo! I really wanna finish my damn sleeves, they’re literally 9 years in the making and barely half finished. But I’d also love more art on my legs! I DESPERATELY want Ziltoid in a lacy valentine heart on my thigh.

40. What can you hear now? Our fish tank water bubbling and my fan on full blast.

41. Where do you feel the safest? Home alone, doors locked, windows covered, lights low. I absolutely LOVE to not be seen or perceived in any way.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? My fear of discomfort

43. If you could time travel to another era, which one would you choose? I feel like I’d want to be a teen in the 80’s and an adult in the 90’s. Does time travel work that way?

44. What is your most used emoji? 😭 or 😎

45. Describe yourself using one word. Defeated

46. What do you regret the most? Convincing myself that math was too hard or boring (or something?) when I was in middle school. I feel like I’m actually a pretty intelligent person who could’ve totally overcome that difficulty and gone on to understand all kinds of patterns and concepts which have eluded me to this day! It’s so frustrating to try and fight that formative self-concept, which now comes naturally but ultimately sabotages me. 💀

47. Last movie you saw? I made my partner watch Troop Beverly Hills, one of my childhood faves. It’s so fun! I love chick flicks so much.

48. Last tv show you watched? Deep Space Nine. Getting through the first season has been harder than expected. It’s actually my favorite Star Trek show?? (Orrrr maybe that’s TNG, ahh! It’s so hard to choose!) But season one is so baffling and awful! Why is there so much space capitalism??! And racism? And war? And drinking alcoholic beverages? #notmystartrek

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I used to call a single strand of curly hair a ��curly quink” when I was a child. Therefore, a “quink” is a section of hair, usually a particularly cute or iconic one.

[iturbide]

Damn! The Jormungandr headcanon you have is... WOW. I would seriously love it if that were the case. Speaking of Loki's children, do you have any thoughts on the oft-forgotten sibling, Sleipnir? Norse myth-wise, and in potential Heroes-wise?

I’m so glad you like that I’m  really attached to it myself and I’d love to see that happen in the game. <3

But how in the world could anyone forget Sleipnir???  Sleipnir is a precious baby we do not neglect the octohorse on this blog but the downside is that, in the mythology, Loki gave Sleipnir to Odin (in my opinion, it was the only option they seemed to have in order to keep their child safe; better for Sleipnir to be in service to the Aesir rather than viewed as a threat to them).  Because of that, we likely won’t get to see Sleipnir until we see Odin -- and I don’t think Odin’s going to actively involve himself unless he perceives that things with Loki start getting really out of control. 

Please, for just a moment, consider the notion that when Odin comes down to confront Loki in person, he comes on Sleipnir.  And as Loki talks in her usual riddles, Odin shuts her down with accusations that she’s setting Ragnarok in motion (and please consider how much worse it would be if she had the kids on hand for all this)...and finishes his speech off with a condemnation, that he knew she and her monstrous spawn could not be trusted.  Perhaps that is why she gave him Sleipnir so long ago, intending for him to turn on the hand that so long cared for him -- well, he’ll ensure that no such thing comes to pass.  Imagine him pulling out his spear, fully intent on striking Sleipnir down then and there -- only to be trounced by Loki and her other kids, who get Sleipnir to safety because nobody’s urting her babies do you hear her.

Will that be the last they see of Odin?  Probably not.  And it’ll doubtless get worse before it gets better.  But at least it would net us one hyperactive colt (since I usually see Sleipnir as pretty young -- younger than Eir, certainly, probably closer to Roy in age, so around 15ish) .  I love the idea of Sleipnir as a colorless beast, possibly a flying unit like the Herons (so two spaces of movement unless transformed, where it becomes three, which will be hilarious considering he turns into an eight-legged horse).  He’d have blistering speed (including a built-in speed buff from his weapon), and perhaps a built-in Darting Blow effect, combined with Flashing Blade for an A passive (and whether he has Desperation in his base kit or not, it would be a great addition).  And maybe to top it off, he could have either Galeforce or a special skill on the lines of Ayra’s Regnal Astra, boosting damage by a percentage of his speed -- but rather than taking two moves to charge and adding 40% of his speed to it, it would take four moves and boost damage by 80% of his off the charts speed.  He’d probably be a bit of a glass canon, but used effectively he’d be insane on the field.  (Bonus points if he’s pair-up capable, being a horse)

Yes, I love the octohorse, he deserves nothing but the best. 

[themjinterviews-blog]

48. Put your hands in the air and say hell yeah. Captain Jack! Johnny Depp!

What motivates you to do what you do? Sheer necessity, usually.

What was the weather like the last time you went out? Hot. It’s Arizona so it’s probably near 100 + sunny.

Do you go for walks often? I’m pretty lazy and try to avoid it. You sorta gotta trick me into walking, like take me to a big shopping mall or something so I inadvertently walk around it whilst shopping.

What color shirt are you wearing? Gray.

What is your favorite type of youtube video to watch? I don’t really watch any. I just use it to occasionally look up songs or to record snippets of stuff to remix songs.

Do you need any new clothes right now? I got plenty.

What’s the next project you are excited to start? I’m working on a nonsensical Adult Coloring Book featuring animals committing crimes.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Used to collect rocks and Pokémon cards. I suppose in a sense I collect all sorts of art/office supplies.

^and if not, what would you like to collect? Nothing really.

What was the last disappointing thing that happened to you? I don’t know. Suppose work being closed for renovation for 2 weeks kinda sucks because I sort of need cash.

What is something God has healed you of? I don’t really do the whole God/Religion rigamarole... Chances are if we are healed of something, there is a psychological, sociological biological or generally rational explanation.

Have you ever experienced a miracle? Like, a phenomenal coincidence? I think as much as I hate to be a downer, there's probably a lot to do with our perceptions of events

What was the last thing you ate? Lucky Charms.

Do you ever eat food that’s intended for kids? Well, Lucky Charms. I also love pizza rolls and chicken nuggets. But I’m not eating Gerber Peas&Carrot baby foods or anything crazy like that.

What was the last stupid thing you did? Define “stupid”? Most things I do are probably stupid to others but perfectly acceptable to me.

Do you get embarrassed easily? Sometimes.

Are you wearing pants or shorts right now? I never wear shorts.

What are your top three names you like for a daughter? Elliot (this is also my pick for a boy name), Tara, Hazel.

Would you ever film a vlog of yourself giving birth? Ew. Fuck no. Honestly, adopting/fostering sounds way more my style anyway. To be totally frank, pregnancy sounds gross and being unable to take my adderall sounds awful. I’d gain like, a million pounds.

Do you like getting caught in the rain? It’s usually a refreshing break from the heat out here.

Do you think your hair looks best straight, wavy, or curly? Messy, or in a side-pony.

What was the last craft project you completed?: Coloring books for my friends’ kid.

Name 3 youtubers you would like to meet in person: I don’t know any.

Has anyone ever spread an untrue rumor about you? Sociopath ex. Not sure he actually said them aloud to people other than myself, but I was constantly being accused of weird stuff I absolutely did not do.

What’s one rumor you’ve heard about yourself, and is it true? N/A. No idea. Not aware of any relevant or applicable rumors. I literally just keep to myself and do crafts.

What color are your nails painted currently? Not painted.

Do you use a pill box? Jesus, I’m not 80.

List 3 people you know who were loving and then turned cold: it’s kind of generic to assume either of those things as permanent traits. But probably most flings or whatever. It always feels cold when one party loses interest.

Have you filmed a youtube video today? Never filmed one in my life.

Do you leave the house when you’re on your period? Um yes. Life doesn’t stop just because I have cramps.

^If not, why not? -

Have you ever felt threatened for your life? Yeah. Sociopath ex would get overtly paranoid and mistake harmless or unrelated things I did or said to be conspiracies against him. And occasionally my imaginary betrayals would lead to violent words or actions. Like, a bundle of index cards with Carrabba’s menu items and their ingredients, word for word, from the Carrabba’s menu, was somehow coded plots to who the fuck knows to have him killed. Irrational stuff like that.

What are you behind on? Student loans. And when I say behind, I really mean that I actively chose not to pay them.

Do you get enough sleep each night? No because night is my time to be productive, uninterrupted and without bothering anyone. I hate having to stop my thoughts just because other people are making noise or trying to converse with me.

Which did you like better: high school or college? Absolutely college.

Which year of your life stands out to you as the most significant so far? Probably last year or two.

…and why? Big personal transitions and revelations in my life philosophy.

What was the last store you shopped at? Walmart, most likely.

Do you have a favorite pharmacist? I used to back in NY. Her name was Evie. She wished a customer Happy Thanksgiving on Valentine’s Day accidentally once and it cracked me up and we had a running joke about it.

Do you have a favorite cashier at the grocery store? I don’t shop frequently enough and I switch up stores when I do.

What was the last thing you ordered at Starbucks? Probably a toffee nut Frappuccino.

What’s something you discovered recently?

What makes you more creative? Emotional turbulence, certain drugs.

What’s the last magical thing you experienced? Um…Magical? The herd of unicorns crossing the I-10.

What is the theme of your bedroom? None. We are staying in a spare room at a friend’s. But we're actually moving this week because being micromanaged and constantly scrutinized was getting old.

Have you ever lived in a dorm? Yes, for a few years

Who is someone whom you admire, and why? I guess the lady at work, Amanda. She’s like 64 and works open-close every day, and still has a great attitude.

When was the last time you stepped outside of your comfort zone? I don’t know. I test the waters every once in awhile.

Where would you like to travel to next? Nowhere crazy. Just back to New York for the Renaissance Faire.

If you could win three dream vacations to anywhere, where would you go? Portugal—New Zealand—Ireland.

Would you rather ride a camel or an elephant? Camel. They’re fuzzy.

Are you a free spirit? I don’t know what that even constitutes. I think outside the box and I question social conformity and other preset patterns of thought. But I don’t know that has much to do with my spirit.

Do you want to lose weight? I think I’m okay for now.

Which insects scare you, if any? They don’t scare me, they just creep me out …spiders, centipedes, millipedes, roaches…ugh.

Do you think it’s silly to be afraid of a tiny insect? It’s not like I think they’re going to murk me with a sawed off shot gun. I know they’re harmless and therefor not technically scary…but they’re still creepy and unsettling somehow.

Have you ever experienced paranoia? To some degree.

Have you ever hallucinated? Indeed.

Were you raised religious? We were raised Roman Catholic. Didn’t stick.

Have you ever been abused? Psychologically, emotionally, physically and sexually. #sociopathic ex.

Do you think the cops should do more about bullying? I think cops have enough shit to worry about as is and don’t know how effective extensive police interference would even be. I think the anti-bullying message is stronger when conveyed by people closer to kids like teachers, parents, siblings or a celebrity figure they idolize.

Is there a coffee shop you like better than Starbucks? I like them all about the same.

If you could afford to get your hair professionally done, what would you get? Probably dye and highlights. Definite trim of my bangs.

If you had a lot of money, do you think you would use it wisely? Absolutely not. I have little to no money now and I don’t even use *that* wisely.

Do you know any rich people who are very irresponsible? I don’t know many people to begin with.

List five careers that you’d like to have: Lawyer (like A.D.A. Barba!)...Graphic Designer...Psychologist...Self-Help writer...and oddly wouldn't mind being a waitress still.

List five far-out things that you’d like to do before you die: I genuinely do not have a bucket list. If I stumble upon something that seems cool, I do it. Making unrealistic lists won't help my quality of life very much.

Do you dream big? Quite the opposite. I sort of just fly by the seat of my pants. Weird expression. Can’t recall ever having very fixated dreams or visions for myself.

What was your first imaginary friend’s name? N/A

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Comet. <3

What was the first work uniform that you had to wear? Waitress uniform of sorts. I wanna say it was white button down and black pants.

Do you like to go barefoot? Usually. On some surfaces it’s intolerable and I hate the texture, though.

Do you like the same colors now that you did as a kid? Pretty much.

Do you have a blog? You’re on it, buddy. This is a survey blog.

Do you have a youtube channel? What would I even post videos about?? I assure you, I do nothing that the general public would find entertaining.

[alongtidesoflight]

💅 What are some things they have strong opinions about? 💖 Do they have a significant other? If so, who? 💐 Do they collect anything? What’s their most prized possession? 😊 What do they consider to be their best quality? What actually is their best quality? for 3 of your ocs

i’m doing these for naoji and fefa, coz herr alec vixils….. sorta asked about them, and noor, because she’s lacking content on my blog tbh.

💅 What are some things they have strong opinions about?

for fefa that’s probably inequality. she’d never share her opinions on it, because they’re q u i t e strong and she’d rather not be the center of attention, thank you, but she does the best she can to support people who have to bear the brunt of it in any way possible, no matter the cost.

for naoji it’s lgbt rights and sure as hell he’s gonna share his opinions on that. he might even have thrown hands about it before. a few times. or a couple of times, who even keeps track anymore. that’s the only thing he actively throws his support behind, and no one who asks for help gets turned away.

noor doesn’t really have strong opinions, because that’d require wanting change of any kind and she’s actually quite okay with the current state of affairs in the setting she’s from. all she wants is to carve some nice statues and kiss a pretty lady, and not get sucked into whatever drama the vampire society of LA is currently tangled up in.

💖 Do they have a significant other? If so, who?

amy and fefa are probably sitting through their 6875349175th rewatch of shark tale right now and if they’re not they’re having a jam session with their washing machine.

otp: crazy like a fool

meanwhile rahj and naoji are either out there spoiling the hell outta their pets, or trying to come up with ways to circumvent the “leave room for jesus” rule… and probably failing already. 

otp: causing a commotion

@vixils move your ass over here and tag your children coz i’m not going through your whole ass blog to find some stray tags in the wild

noor’s relationship is a very complicated one and she should probably take a deep breath and take a closer look at what’s going on there. she really does love gabby and maybe that’s exactly why she’s too blind to see the many issues with it.

💐 Do they collect anything? What’s their most prized possession? 

material things don’t hold a lot of value for fefa, honestly. what she does however, is keeping the boxing gloves of every one of her students she’s successfully gotten off the streets or out of trouble! they’re on display at the studio she works at.

naoji would never collect anything. a part of him is always ready to permanently leave the place he’s staying at at a minute’s notice, so he doesn’t own a lot of stuff in the first place, mostly just things he can leave behind or replace. his most prized possession is a painting brush his sister gifted him and it’s the one thing he’s practically always keeping on him.

noor’s quite a sentimental person, so she has many “most” prized possessions. from a necklace her ex gave her, to a nice pair of shoes she bought in the 80s, pretty stones she collected as a kid in her hometown, and so on, and so on. anything she considers beautiful is most likely to be found on display around her apartment.

Thanks for the ask!!! questions came from here.

[almaasi]

GISHWHES 2017 List Of Items

Yes, this archive post is a whole year late. Don’t judge me.

In 2017 the hunt ran from August 5th to the 12th, and winners went to Hawaii with Misha. (Misha scared everyone by implying it was The Last Ever Hunt, when it was actually just rebranding.) Under the cut: The entire item list from 2017, including item numbers, point values, and deleted items.

[ see also: 2011 list // 2012 list // 2013 list // 2014 list // 2015 list // 2016 list ]

Disclaimer: I am not personally affiliated with Misha Collins or any of the organisers of GISHWHES. This blog post is not official. And yes, I am allowed to post it.

#1 / PHOTO / 66 POINTS / Do you live near (or within a fun road trip’s length of) some sand dunes or a beach? If so, the time has come to fulfill your destiny. Make a massive portrait (must be larger than 20 square meters - the larger the better) of either someone who inspires you, or a message of hope beautifully written in sand. Use a drone to capture footage, if helpful. Make sure you are not working on protected or ecologically sensitive dunes.

#2 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 20 POINTS / There was a hobby or talent that you used to do when you were younger that you stopped doing for whatever reason. Do it again. Now.

#3 / PHOTO / 52 POINTS / Pancake art has come a long way, and the art form doesn’t get the respect it deserves. Let’s see pancake art of Guernica, Judith Slaying Holofernes, The Weeping Woman, anything by Hieronymus Bosch., or another famous work. (You may not do the Mona Lisa or anything abstract.)

#4 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / As anyone who reads “Cosmopolitan” magazine knows, bohemian eco-chic weddings are all the rage. Let’s see a wedding dress made from recycled office paper.

#5 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 42 POINTS / Nobody likes elevator music in an elevator - unless it’s flute or pan flute music played by a wood nymph. (We must see unsuspecting passengers in the elevator with the wood nymph.)

#6 / VIDEO / 19 POINTS / Re-enact the experience of your birth, using (only) shadow puppets.

#7 / VIDEO / 44 POINTS / (Up to 2 minutes.) You love your grandparents, or your great-grandparents, but you've never heard their stories. Get one of them to tell you about the two most transformative experiences of their early life, before they turned 30. These must be experiences that shaped them into the people they are today. They may be difficult situations or lucky ones, but they must be transformative. Subject(s) must be more than 80 years old.

#8 / PHOTO / 82 POINTS / The year is 2021. Of all the unique and amazing human specimens on Earth, it was hard for the aliens to choose which ones to collect, but your team stood out as being excessively weird & worth “analysis". Your entire team was abducted and put into an alien specimen box. In grid form, show each member of your team along with a card explaining where they got you (city, country) and a word stating what special characteristic makes you unique.

#9 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / I can assure you, THAT has never been frozen in jello before! How did you manage to do that?!

#10 / PHOTO / 51 POINTS / Pizza was invented in Italy in 997 AD to honor the Queen Consort, Queen Margherita. The next significant event in Italian history was the start of the Renaissance Period in the 14th century, which spawned a revival in art, architecture, science and learning. Let’s celebrate these two seminal moments in Italian history. Bake a Pizza decorated as a Renaissance painting that would make the Old Masters proud.

#11 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 82 POINTS / There are many old ghost towns (Note that Little Beaver Town on the list has been leveled. We're not sure what happened to the ghosts but they may be smaller/flatter) around the world. I’ve been told, however, that almost all of these are fake and do not contain real ghosts. I refuse to believe this. Help me prove them wrong. Let’s see ghosts (at least 6) doing typical small-town activities (shopping, dropping stuff off in the mailbox, porch sitting, walking ghost dogs, as crossing guards and school kids, etc.) in one of the actual ghost towns at the link above (or in another legitimately publicized ghost town). Provide a caption to your image or video with the name of the ghost town , and the State or Province and Country you’re in.

#12 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / Many of us have lost pets in our lifetime. As a memorial to a loved pet that is now frolicking in the clouds chasing or sniffing whatever it was that pet liked to chase/sniff, write a poem or haiku about that loved one, or create a small shrine in nature comprised of items the pet loved and a photo of him or her.

#13 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / (Side by side) A child drawing of their idea of happiness. Then, make it happen.

#14 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / Over the years gishwhes has always been a supporter of first responders (firemen, paramedics, ER medics, nurses, police, etc.). Let’s give them one last treatment of a proper gishwhes “THANK YOU!” Find your nearest and dearest first responders and bring them The Most Epic Cookies or Pastries the World Has Ever Seen (MECOPWHES).

#15 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / Groucho Marx a piece of fruit. No, we don’t know what this means either, but we’re excited to see what you come up with.

#16 / VIDEO / 29 POINTS / (Up to 2 minutes.) Take your parent back to the place where they lived when they were 10. Find someone they knew from then and ask them to recall a shared memory.

#17 / PHOTO / 69 POINTS / Spicy Art! Using the spices you have in your spice cupboard, make a picture of your favorite (1) comic book cover, or (2) cartoon character. Either submit it alone, or as a side-by-side image comparison.

#18 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / Create or provide “gishwhes” welcome blankets (if it’s cold) or cold water and snacks (if it’s hot) for newly arriving immigrants… anywhere on the planet. Here’s some inspiration for you.

#19 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / (Side-by-side image) A photo of your pet and a photo of the portrait of your pet that you have made from their own food and treats.

#20 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / This family’s toys get into sweet, crazy escapades at night while the kids are sleeping. Your family’s toys make that family’s toys look like do-gooders. Let’s see what happened with your family’s toys while you slept last night.

#21 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 41 POINTS / Let’s see the world famous once-every-3000-years “Spectral Olympics”.

#22 / PHOTO / 50 POINTS / We finally have a confirmed sighting of a mythical beast from urban legends (Bigfoot, Nessie, Yeti, etc.) suffering the effects of climate change.

#23 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / This morning, my daughter, Maison reported having seen a “moon fairy” while I was sleeping last night. As you know, the rarely-seen moon fairies are mischievous, nocturnal creatures who participate in synchronized, representational flight. Using a long exposure and flashlights (or other movable light sources) photograph these elusive beasts.

#24 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / She wore a raspberry beret… Wear a beret made out of raspberries as you shop in a second-hand store.

#25 / PHOTO / 56 POINTS / Wombat poop is shaped like little bricks. Sounds like the perfect building material for a tiny house! Show us! If we can figure out the architectural style you chose from your structure - bonus points! You’ll probably have to go to a local zoo to ask for collections of this building material. Enjoy your visit while you’re there. Your image must contain a caption that shares a little known fact about wombats.

#26 / VIDEO / 101 POINTS / (Create an old-school STOP MOTION film - up to 1 minute.) A Romeo and Juliet story... Two young virile socks (unmatched) meeting, falling in love, being kept apart and finally ending tragically.

#27 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / The Internet has brought us all closer together, so this should be really easy: find someone from one of the 10 smallest countries in the world. Have them send you a forced perspective photo of something very small that makes that object look huge in front of a famous public landmark or historical site in that country. Caption the photo with “Big things happen in the tiny nation of [insert country name].” Teams may not share submissions with other teams, so make sure your tiny country helper isn’t helping someone else.

#28 / PHOTO / 58 POINTS / Finger-painting is often thought of as unsophisticated and associated with preschool. But we know it can be deployed for much loftier purposes. Prove the art historians and elitists wrong by finger painting a sophisticated mural with complex messaging about an important global issue on the wall of a classroom. You may want to get a pre-schooler or two to help just to make sure you’re doing it right!

#29 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / It is either winter or summer where you are. (If it is not, please contact our support so we can send NASA to find you.) There’s something you love to do outdoors in the winter or summer where you live. Do the activity you love to do in the opposite season that you are in.

#30 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NEW LEASH ON LIFE USA adopts otherwise unadoptable dogs and sends them through a unique training program. Shelter pets rarely get any attention and millions are put down each year. Many times this can be avoided if people on the Interwebs (who would like and could responsibly own a pet) were to see how cute, available, lonely and cuddly they are. Let’s save a pet or two (or thousands). Grab a friend or two and visit a shelter. Spend some time with one or more of the pets there. Post a selfie of your favorite pet looking for a “forever home” on Twitter (tagging @NewLeashUSA) or Instagram (tagging @NewLeashOnLifeUSA), using hashtag #adoptmeplease, and the social media handle or name of the shelter (so people can contact them). Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page. // UPDATED: Updated tags and social accounts. (Original said “on Twitter or Instagram, tagging @NewLeashUSA”.)

#31 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / You’ll find all you need to complete this item here: https://yung.cloud/index.php?a=track&id=29451

#32 / PHOTO / 50 POINTS / Visit a local bakery or food market. Get them to donate still-edible items to a women’s shelter. Speak to the women’s shelter first to make sure they will accept donations like this. Submit an image of you at the women’s shelter donating the food items. // UPDATE NOTE: Please don't take images that include any of the residents in the background out of respect to their safety & privacy.

#33 / PHOTO / 73 POINTS / From @gishwhes twitter feed: Everyone knows the most ticklish parts of planes are on the undersides of the wings (or "wing pits", to use proper aircraft terminology). Let’s see the wing pits on a full-sized airplane. You can go true bohemian, decorative, or high and tight groomer - but it must really look like (or be) hair to count.

#34 / PHOTO / 89 POINTS / As this is likely the last year of gishwhes we should probably do something to memorialize it. A lot of folks have been saying, “Save gishwhes!” But we say, “Shave “gishwhes”... into the back of your head.” Try to match the amazing logo that Olivia Desianti formed way back when - which we still use today. Bonus points if you include the current or a former gishwhes hybrid mascot in your masterpiece. The same design shaved into a thick matt of back or chest hair would be an acceptable substitute.

#35 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / Hand a bouquet of flowers (or a single flower) to a person leaving a house of worship that is not your religion. For example, if you are a Christian, you could hand a bouquet of flowers to someone leaving a mosque. If you’re Jewish, hand flowers to someone at a Christian church, etc. With the flowers, attach a note saying something in your own words, but to the effect of: “I may not worship in the same building as you, and I may not pray to the same prophets, but I am grateful to be sharing this planet with you in peace.”

#36 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / The dewey decimal system has long been responsible for keeping good books apart— books that clearly deserve to spend a life together on library shelves. For that matter, it seems so many libraries go out of their way to keep perfectly good literary companions apart as they separate fact from fiction, biography from archaeology, science fiction from politics. Be the matchmaker literature needs and get creative at your local library or bookstore. Show the spines of at least six books together in a library or bookstore (the more titles the better) the titles of which create the perfect oxymoronic sentence or phrase. - Monica Duff

#37 / PHOTO / 92 POINTS / No one talks about the fact that the destruction of the Death Star put thousands of Stormtroopers out of work. Luckily the Empire has a pretty robust social safety net and most of them have been retrained and placed in new jobs, the majority of which have been in the transportation sector. Let’s see a stormtrooper driving/flying a large passenger vehicle. Must be for mass transit, not just a car or a van. A subway, train, bus, ferry, plane, etc.

#38 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Pick a celebrity social media image post (or an advertisement) and recreate it with a subtle twist like Celeste Barber does here. Tweet, Instagram or FB post your image side-by-side with the original image, “#embracereality @gishwhes” and your team name. (You may also tag or mention the celebrity or brand you are satirizing.) Submit the image you take side-by-side with the original one, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

#39 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / You’ve heard of Cabbage Patch Kids, Garbage Pail Kids, and the Pacific Garbage patch. Let’s see a Great Pacific Garbage Patch Kid, (a cabbage-patch kid made from garbage you pick up from your local beach or lakefront), complete with adoption certificate.

#40 / VIDEO / 51 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds.) THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT!. Have a full church choir sing Carry on My Wayward Son while wearing dental cheek retractors. Please make sure that the video shows some of the singers’ faces up close. Then, share the video via twitter with the band Kansas (@kansasband) with @mishacollins @gishwhes.” Submit the video on our site but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. - Nicki Bentley-Colthart

#41 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / Show us your own personal “Stairway to Heaven” -Dylan Cacador

#42 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 48 POINTS / You ever heard of “pond dipping”? “river bugging”? Neither have we - but let’s not let that stop us. Invent and show off your own *SAFE* summer wet, wild and messy activity and caption it with a clever name.

#43 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / Never judge a book by its cover… or bread by its shape. Bake bread or cookies into the shape of something you would DEFINITELY not want to eat. (We hate to have to say this every year, but pornographic pastries will result in docked points.)

#44 / VIDEO / 56 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 20 seconds.) A snail (or similarly VERY slow insect or worm) crossing a path or going up a wall. Put or stick objects in its path so it has to change directions multiple times. Then have it go through some “winner” gates at the end of its arduous trek. To make it a gripping adventure, you’ve dropped frames and turned this into a fast-paced adventure and set it to 1980s video game music, complete with a grand finale sound at the end when it makes it through the gates.

#45/ PHOTO / 72 POINTS / You may not be aware, but leather-clad, tattoo-covered biker clubs love to hang out and play in those inflatable bouncy castles. Catch them in the act!

#46 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / THE FINAL “KALE” ART. (Please note that per Commandment #4 of the 2017 Hunt, this word and material as a Hunt item is not permitted. We are aware of this. That being said, we do not care. You still may not use the word “kale”. Henceforth, it shall be called [REDACTED] BUT you may use it as a material for this item.) Therefore, take a SINGLE glorious piece of [REDACTED] and, using whatever adornments or other decoratives, clipping patterns, etc., create a stunning, museum worthy piece of art that shall then be showcased (and submitted as such) as an ornamental headpiece on you.

#47 / PHOTO / 63 POINTS / Your strict neighborhood HOA (Homeowners’ Association) got replaced by a better HOA: the Hopeful Optimist’s Association. They’ve decided that your lawn isn’t quite up to regulations. Get your front yard up to snuff by building a large-scale, jaw-dropping sculpture or structure dedicated to Hope. Make it so magnificent that motorists backup & park to gaze at its beauty. (Conversely, it could be that YOUR neighborhood HOA got replaced by the Horrible Organization for Awfulness... You get where we're going with this, right?)

#48 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / As most people know, roosters enjoy a good sunrise. But other farm animals enjoy sunrises and sunsets, too. Let's see a photo of you, some friends or companions (such as your dog), and a sheep, horse, cow, or other non-rooster barnyard animal, watching the sun rise or set together. Bonus points if the spectacular skies are reflected in water in front of you.

#49 / PHOTO / 37 POINTS / There’s something important that your local or national politicians are not attending to properly. Stand in front of something that represents the issue/right/minority group/etc. that you care about and that your politicians are not adequately protecting and hold a large, hand-written sign with a message to the powers that be. Tweet this image to an elected official with the power to do something to help tagged “#gishwhesrights”. Submit the image and a link to your tweet in the comments.

#50 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 51 POINTS / Have too much of a good thing, by which we mean a cream-filled balloon the size of a volley ball. Volley, volley, spike! Play a game of volleyball with it in the middle of a busy plaza.

#51 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / Anyone who serves in the military is risking their life to serve their nation. Being respectful to not trespass on military grounds, stand in front of a large military craft, ship, tank, or plane with an inclusive sign of thanks to every service member of every kind. You may post this image on social media prior to the end of the hunt, if you choose. Submit the image with a link to your post in the comment section (if you chose to post it).

#52 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 30 seconds.) Paint a dignified portrait of a President, Prime Minister, King, or Queen. But we don’t want you to waste canvas or paper! Paint this on a loved one’s bare back or abdomen. (use skin safe paints or edible “paint-like” food products!)

#53 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Write something in frosting on a cake that you’ve always wanted to say to someone, and deliver it to them.

#54 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Listen to this and be scared: http://www.radiolab.org/story/nukes/. But this bill has been introduced to try to solve this global risk. Let’s get it approved! Tweet ALL of your reps to pass the legislation to make congressional approval for first nuclear strike US law. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page. // UPDATE: Edited for clarity: Not senators but representatives.

#55 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 34 POINTS / Make a homemade Castiel kite with a child. We must see the kite in flight.

#56 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / Sometimes things are just too comfy to leave, but you’re prepared for this! Let’s see you in your “Hammock Self-Containment Unit”. This, of course, would be you in a hammock with everything you need to live for one week, including all life preserving items, sanitation supplies and, of course, entertainment (live or otherwise). Make sure it’s clean, well organized, and designed for easy access to everything.

#57 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 52 POINTS / Show us a beautiful mermaid or sea creature performing a politically defiant modern dance solo to the beautiful music of the Sea Organ at Zadar. (Can’t make it to Zadar? The wave organ in San Francisco or the high tide organ in Blackpool may be substituted.)

#58 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 89 POINTS / It’s time to recreate the epic historic Great Zombie vs. Vampire World War II. As you recall, this particular battle took place with Nerf guns (homemade or otherwise) in an arena, forest or field, and was wild, gruesome, and featured multiple soldiers.

#59 / PHOTO / 59 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! This item takes place on Friday, Aug 11th, in whatever city you’re in at 10am in your time zone. Stand in front of your state or province’s legislative building (the building where your laws are enacted) and with your friends, hold up a large sign showing an excerpt or summary of a law that protects civil rights. For example if you live in the US, you could hold up a sign with a portion of the 1st amendment of the US Constitution written on it. Use the hashtag #gishwhes4rights. Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

#60 / VIDEO / 51 POINTS / Up to 30 seconds - you may speed up or slow down the video if you need to.) Using only air-moving devices or machines, successfully navigate a balloon through a strange series of obstacles. It must be suspended in the air, without anyone or anything other than moving air touching it. It must travel at least 10 yards and culminate with your friend popping it with a needle sticking out from a hat they’re wearing.

#61 / VIDEO / 76 POINTS / (As long as it takes to complete the song.) THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! James Corden hosts Carpool Karaoke in the US— a viral show that has celebrities singing songs with him in a car. (Yes, we realize this is typical lowbrow-American TV, but it works.) We want to upgrade carpool karaoke and make it more high-brow. Create your own carpool karaoke with a political or intellectual powerhouse. Your co-singer must be either a nobel laureate, MacArthur Fellow, a national elected official, Bill Nye, Jane Goodall, Neil deGrasse Tyson, or any past or present member of the Harlem Globetrotters. Oh, and your karaoke song must have sufficient gravitas and must be an 80s pop song. For example, “Like a Virgin” would do nicely. Shoot your video Carpool Karaoke style. Tweet the video to @JKCorden with #gishwhesloveskaraoke and mention who your passenger is in the post. Upload the video on our submit page but be sure to provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

#62 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / Honeybees are a “keystone” species just like sharks. If they’re gone, we’re in big trouble. Unfortunately, there are currently “Colony Collapse Disorders” happening with honeybees throughout the world. This is when the majority of worker bees in a colony disappear, leaving the queen and immature bees to fend for themselves (most colonies completely die). This has major global food crop implications, as honeybees perform the magic of pollination of agricultural crops. If bees go by the wayside, we will have to find alternative pollination solutions, and that ain’t gonna be easy. But, let’s roll up our sleeves and give it a shot: Plant something in your garden (or plant a garden if you don’t have one) that is bee friendly (even if it’s just one plant in one pot on a patio). Spring - lilacs, penstemon, lavender, sage, verbena, and wisteria. Summer – Mint, cosmos, squash, tomatoes, pumpkins, sunflowers, oregano, rosemary, poppies, black-eyed Susan, passion flower vine, honeysuckle. Fall – Fuschia, mint, bush sunflower, sage, verbena, toadflax. Take a picture of yourself wearing some sort of bee-attire doing your part to pollinate your newly planted plant.

#63 / VIDEO / 265 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 1 minute but preferably under 30 seconds.) Loo goes to space! A person named Loo won our NASA email contest last Fall, and Loo’s prize is out of this world. Write “Loo” on a paper airplane and launch it from the stratosphere (or higher). We must CLEARLY see you writing the name on the paper airplane and folding it, the paper airplane’s journey into space, and then the actual launch where the plane is released from the stratosphere from whatever vehicle has conveyed it to those heights (high-altitude weather balloons are an acceptable means of conveyance). Oh, and one more thing: the paper airplane must be decorated and must have a message on it about a secret, global conspiracy to make the world a better place. It should also have your team name written on it and the following email address: with the instructions: “If found please email picture of airplane and location found to: airgishwhes@gmail.com.

#64 / PHOTO / 58 POINTS / Quilt a gishwhes onesie out of underwear and/or gloves. Strike a pose in the lobby of a financial institution or bank. Bonus points if it’s the floor of a stock exchange.

#65 / PHOTO / 65 POINTS / You know SuperWhoLock? The amalgamation of Supernatural, Doctor Who and Sherlock? Well, that’s been done to death and everyone has moved on to the next big mashup. Let’s see 3D street art on a pavement or wall (in chalk!) that’s of a scene or setting from SuperWhoWatch (an amalgamation of Supernatural, Doctor Who and BayWatch)

#66 / PHOTO / 18 POINTS / Personify your favorite movie title. Include a caption on your image of the title of the movie in quotes. - Tanya Best

#67 / PHOTO / 43 POINTS / Banana Hammock. This year’s summer fashion elitists are all wearing the latest rage: Banana Bikini or Banana Briefs. Join them!

#68 / PHOTO / 51 POINTS / You finally have a use for all the naked bananas you now have sitting around! Bake as much banana bread as you can with “gishwhes” spelled out in bananas on the top & distribute it to your local nursing home.

#69 / VIDEO / 28 POINTS / You’ve been putting this off for far too long. Tell your parents something bad that you did as a child that they still don’t know about. Capture their reaction. This must not be staged. We have an Academy Award Winning Judge on staff that will determine if your parent has already heard this story and you will be docked points. - CJ and Lauren

#70 / VIDEO / 39 POINTS / (Time-lapse down to 20 seconds.) Sidewalk cafes are all the rage, but most “sidewalk cafes” are total posers. Set up a “sidewalk cafe” the way it was meant to be - on an actual sidewalk. Cook a delicious omelet using just a magnifying glass, a hot sidewalk, and the sun. Share your feast with a friend!

#71 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 45 POINTS / DELETED FOR REASONS // ORIGINAL: THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Rapper B. o. B. seems to think that the world is flat. Perform a highly scientific experiment that proves that it is not and tweet the results to him (https://twitter.com/bobatl). Submit the image or video you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

#72 / PHOTO / 111 POINTS / I hate to say it, but this financial company is underwater. Let’s see the board meeting— with professionally dressed people at the table with chairs, paper, pens etc… all fully submerged at the bottom of a swimming pool.

#73 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / Visit a local laundromat. Place decorated envelopes with enough money (in coins or bills, depending on the machines) for one load of washing and one load of drying on at least one machine with the note: “We swim together, we tumble together. Love, Gishwhes.”

#74 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Modify a grocery store shopping cart to be space-worthy. Put an alien being in the pilot’s seat and help them navigate the terrain of the “Earth produce” department to collect specimens.

#75 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 16 POINTS / They told me I couldn’t, so I did. Pose in front of a sign declaring a rule. Break that rule. A few notes: It must be safe (what you are doing), and it MUST NOT be a law or illegal where you are. It must only be a “rule”. For example, you might find a sign that says, “collared shirts only.” You would pose in front of that sign wearing a tank top. - Inspired by Emily Shulman

#76 / PHOTO / 39 POINTS / Have a caveperson demonstrate glass-blowing. - Jennifer Pierce

#77 / PHOTO / 24 POINTS / Personify or embody your team name. Caption your image with your team name. - Shannon

#78 / PHOTO / PHOTO or VIDEO / 48 POINTS / Being in the hospital can be scary and lonely for kids! Visit your local hospital to play a two-player video game with a pediatric patient. Be sure to dress thematically to match your game(s)! Take a picture of yourself in front of the children’s hospital. Do not take pictures with the kids unless they approve, their guardian(s) approve, and the hospital approves; we don’t want them to feel exploited. However, you MUST play with a child to get points for this item. This will be an honor system. You will have very bad karma if you cheat on this one. - Kristin Lindsay - Child’s Play charity.

#79 / VIDEO / 29 POINTS / (Up to 20 seconds.) Why would you move from the couch during a Supernatural binge watching session? Build a complex SPN-themed Rube-Goldberg machine to fill your empty glass, catapult you a snack, or to serve some other couch potato need. - Diane-Audrey Carlier

#80 / VIDEO / 73 POINTS / You’ve all seen “dog shaming memes” on the Internets. You know that crowd that lines up at the plaza of The Today Show and shows up on air? Let’s take it over with gisher-self-shaming signs. Hold up a large, colorful sign that details something you did that you probably shouldn’t have done (for example, “I drank milk straight of the carton and put it back in the fridge without telling my roommates”). Make it a light-hearted trivial violation, not a deep-seated personality flaw, actual violation of the law, or other serious offense. Share with us a clip of the AIRED FOOTAGE that shows your team’s sign and in the comments section of the item submitter, let us know which sign was yours. Do not add your team name or “gishwhes” anywhere on the sign… we want this to be a mystery.

#81 / PHOTO / 25 POINTS / Sometimes it feels like your boss expects you to be in more than one place at more than one time, but you’re a gisher so you know how to deliver. Using the panoramic photo function on your phone, insert yourself at least three times in the same picture in different positions and/or wardrobe to show yourself as you “multitask”. You may NOT Photoshop yourself into the image. (Hint: you have to run around the person taking the picture each time they pass you in the frame.)

#82 / PHOTO / 19 POINTS / In honour of Canada's 150th birthday, even though you may not be Canadian, you and a friend should clearly cover yourself in maple syrup and go roll in some maple leaves. - Jessica G.

#83 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / Lets see your interpretation of fireworks using vegetables and spaghetti as mixed media. - Saty381

#84 / PHOTO / 52 POINTS / (Two Images side-by-side.) The first image is a photo of an illustrated page from a children’s book. The second image is your reenactment of that illustration in 3 dimensions. - Inspired by Sarah Trumbley

#85 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / Let’s see LABSWHES. The Largest Awesome Balloon Sculpture the World Has Ever Seen. The themes this year are “insect” or “space”—or both. You must be in the middle of this structure.

#86 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 39 POINTS / Everyone thinks unicorns are beautiful, magical, gentle creatures. You know better. Prove it to the world! You may use any media you like, including Photoshop. - Traci Akierman

#87 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Tweet a picture of you or your child dressed as a bear in school to @betsydevos with whatever text you like and “#KeepSchoolsSafeFromBears #Gishwhes”. Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. - Diedra Lookingbill

#88 / PHOTO / 60 POINTS / Three words: 10 Mannequin-pin Bowling. - Ariana Preis

#89 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 43 POINTS / Apply lipstick while jumping on a trampoline. - Emily Schulman

#90 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 42 POINTS / “Why did the chicken cross the road?” There’s no better crossing guard than a mother hen! Dressed as a chicken, offer to help people cross a busy street.

#91 / PHOTO / 31 POINTS / Leave a Yelp review of gishwhes after you deliver food to the homeless or to a homeless shelter.

#92 / VIDEO / 62 POINTS / (Up to 20 seconds.) It’s nice to see a serious sport finally get the recognition it deserves: http://www.euronews.com/2017/04/30/finns-compete-in-annual-hobby-horse-championship. Now, let's see video documentation of "Human NASCAR" complete with the speeding, lane changes, a pit-stop, crashes, etc. You & at least 5 friends must be drivers of "vehicles" of your own design, complete with corporate sponsorship logos. All vehicles must be motor-free and foot-propelled (ala-Flintstones) and all engine sounds must be vocalized by you and your friends. Just to be clear... this is Human NASCAR, not roller derby. All vehicles must be propelled on foot.

#93 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / Get an elected official’s signature on a statement (written on official letterhead paper) declaring gishwhes an act of lawful resistance or civil disobedience. (Inspired by U of C Scav, 1987)

#94 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / Camouflage yourself in a pet store.

#95 / VIDEO / 58 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds.) The Silicon Gourmet has been teaching a neural network to generate recipes. Learning to cook is hard (as my son can attest)! In the interest of encouraging budding AI chefs everywhere, create a Food Network-worthy video preparing one of the recipes as described in the network’s cookbook. Make sure to sample the results on camera. Oh, and you must look and behave as if you were a droid, of course.

#96 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / (Try to take a very close-up photo - a.k.a. “Macro” photo.) Nice grill! Combine the “tiny food” trend with urban fashion. Show someone cooking tiny hamburgers & hot dogs on a friend’s “grill” (the dental kind.)

#97 / PHOTO / 61 POINTS / Do something fitting in front of the Gereja Ayam (the abandoned Chicken Church of Indonesia). For example, you could play a game of Duck, Duck, Chicken! Or you could ponder the question: Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Or you could host an easter egg hunt… You get the picture.

#98 / VIDEO / 38 POINTS / A marionette show featuring a puppet of Trump being controlled by a Putin lookalike. Quintuple BONUS POINTS if Putin himself is the puppeteer.

#99 / VIDEO / 47 POINTS / Letterboxing (http://www.letterboxing.org/ or see https://www.atlasquest.com/) is a game where people hide small weatherproof boxes in publicly accessible spaces with a logbook & a stamp. They share the clues to find their box on the web or via word of mouth. Create a letterbox for your team & share clues so other teams can find it over social media. Leave a logbook with your team stamp on it in the box. Then, find another teams’ box and leave them a message of encouragement along with your team’s stamp in their log book. Submit proof that you found at least one other team’s book & the message you wrote. NO COLLUSION! (And that goes for you, too, Donald.) // UPDATE NOTE: Please either pickup your boxes after the Hunt ends or dedicate yourselves to maintaining them post-hunt.

#100 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / Calliope. Clio. Euterpe. Erato. Melpomene. Polyhymnia. Terpischore. Thalia. Urania. Inspirational goddesses of literature, the arts and science in Greek mythology. On the steps of the National Gallery in Trafalgar Square, provide a visual representation of the muse that guides you in your art and/or life.

#101 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 80 POINTS / As I'm sure you’ve seen, over the years we have marketed gishwhes relentlessly and shamelessly (because we really want everyone to do it). This is the last gishwhes, so now it’s your turn to go ahead and show us how we should’ve marketed it. Create a gishwhes ad that no one would be able to resist. Note: you may make false or misleading claims if you so choose, but because we’re curious, you could even take a stab at a legit one. …

#102 / PHOTO / 74 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! During the First Annual and Last Ever 2017 gishwhes Tea Party, we identified gishers based on their right-brush or left-brush toothbrushing statuses. Conduct a massive poll on your social networks for the gishwhes Institute of Vital Statistics to prove conclusively whether people brush their teeth starting on the same side of their mouth as their dominant hand or the opposite side. Because this is solid science, your sample size must have a minimum of 400 respondents. Submit a visually-compelling graph of your poll data and the number of votes and the winner. Use the hashtag #gishwhesteeth. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page.

#103 / VIDEO / 26 POINTS / Play hopscotch at one of the marker sites of Víddaflakk. (BONUS: Play Interdimensional Hopscotch.)

#104 / PHOTO / 90 POINTS / A far-right Republican senator and a far-left Democrat Senator (or two similarly “diametrically party-opposed” legislative makers in your country) co-wearing a very large (fits two people) “This is Our ‘Get-Along’ Shirt.” Caption the image with the names of the politicians.

#105 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 81 POINTS / We know a little girl that makes a different kind of Advent Calendar. As she marks off each day on the calendar, she gives something away. Make your own version of a reverse Advent calendar. On the first day of gishwhes, create a decorated Advent calendar whereby, for each day on the calendar, you depict something you’re going to give away. Then, each day of the Hunt, take a picture of you fulfilling your calendar item. Submit 7 pictures in a grid (or a video slideshow) showing what you’ve done. Then, continue on through the calendar period. (Yes, this will continue after the Hunt is over, but though gishwhes as we know it may be ending, its spirit will live on in you!) -Keegan Connor Tracy’s 10-year old daughter

#106 / VIDEO / 79 POINTS / The Lumbasumba region is being protected this year by Gishwhes. We gishers managed to purchase for permanent preservation more than 60 square miles of the Lumbasumba forest during the final weeks of registration in July! But the Lumbasumba area is more than just a forest. It’s also the hottest new dance craze. Show us how it’s done. (As all gishers know, you need to do it next to a REAL monkey, a parrot, or a camel to do it right.)

#107 / VIDEO / 92 POINTS / (Up to 45 seconds.) AMOK ITEM! Let’s virtually graffiti the world with kindness! Using a GPS tracking app (like Figure Running or similar), walk, jog, or run as large a path as you can to spell out a message of love, hope, or kindness. As you go, stop and perform acts of kindness and document them. You must show us the map with coordinates at the end of your path as well as the minimum of 3 documented act of kindness. - Inspired by Tia Pogue

#108 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 28 POINTS / The chickens have come home to Proust.

#109 / VIDEO / 71 POINTS / (Up to 22 seconds.) Wonder Woman being “Superman-splained” to.

#110 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / The return of the Three-ingredient Challenge! Show us: Triptych, Transylvanian, takin.

#111 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 45 POINTS / A street vendor handing out toilet paper roses at the toilet fountain in Foshan, China.

#112 / PHOTO / 83 POINTS / A ballet troupe in tutus, engaged in a bar brawl - freeze framed at its most climactic moment.

#113 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / Set up a Maximum Security Birdhouse in a beautiful public park.

#114 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / DELETED FOR REASONS // ORIGINAL: Let’s see a TripAdvisor or Airbnb review of your mother’s womb as an “extended stay hotel”. Keep it suitable for work and any child’s prying eyes! // UPDATE: Item only needs listing, no review necessary. / UPDATE: Item deleted.

#115 / PHOTO / 83 POINTS / Make A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of Le Grande Jatte by Seraut into an elaborate dot-to-dot image.

#116 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 65 POINTS / Not many people know this, but the Kessel Run was actually a foot race. Let’s see at least 5 Star Wars characters competing in the Kessel Run in a shopping mall.

#117 / VIDEO / 65 POINTS / Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. Let’s see Dean Winchester driving a pedi-cab or quadricycle with Castiel & Sam as passengers.

#118 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 60 POINTS / Rumor has it that Amazon is teaming up with the Vatican for a bold new service: On Demand Drone Deliverance services. Show us a drone administering a wedding service, confession, last rites, communion or baptism.

#119 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Trump l’oeil. (This is not a typo.)

#120 / VIDEO / 91 POINTS / You’ve heard of a soap box derby, but the sofa bed derby is where it’s at. Let’s see two “race car” sofa beds, each with pajama-clad “drivers”, racing down an actual street. Be safe and complete this where there is absolutely no traffic!

#121 / PHOTO / 32 POINTS / The people of Iceland believe in Huldufólk, which are invisible elves. They build tiny houses and churches for them. But the Huldufólk deserve to have a nightlife, too! Let’s see a tiny Huldufólk nightclub in a busy urban area.

#122 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / They say a rolling stone gathers no moss, but can moss gather a Rolling Stone? Make a portrait of one of The Rolling Stones out of moss.

#123 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 38 POINTS / As all gishers know, Saturday, August 12 is “Meet Another Gisher Day.” Meet up in front of the largest art museum in your town at 10:00 AM (of whatever timezone you’re in). It’s a pot-luck coleslaw brunch this year, so bring your favorite family recipe of coleslaw… and as much sidewalk chalk as you can. After brunch, decorate the pavement with a collaborative message to the world. In order for a meet-up to count you need to have representatives of at least 5 teams present, so this will require some organizing. Gishwhes is all about coming together, so teams may collaborate (gasp!) on this one, but your team’s image or video must still be all your own.

#124 / PHOTO / 21 POINTS / Be someone’s “rock” to get them through the hard times. Hand-paint small rocks with a message of kindness & leave them in areas that need a pick-me-up. (On the underside, please write “Pass it on.”) You must paint & hide at least one rock for each member of your team.

#125 / VIDEO / 41 POINTS / (Time-lapse under 20 seconds.) All good things must come to an end, and so it is with the Hunt. Create a “sand” mandala featuring images that symbolize the hunt to you… all using pixie sticks as your chakpur and sand. When it’s done, show us your masterwork and then, just like the Buddhist monks, sweep it away and get ready for what’s next.

#126 / PHOTO / 88 POINTS / DELETED FOR REASONS // ORIGINAL: Reward! I won’t say that Jensen & Jared are missing their balls, but they were last seen being sent into this quarry at Britannia Beach. Find them, take a photo, and put them back exactly where you found them for other teams to find. If you keep them, you will lose valuable karma & points. // UPDATE: Added safety advisory and strong caution based on reports. // UPDATE: Apparently Item #126, the one in which you are charged with finding Jared and Jensen’s golf balls is not going well. Now, granted, these are jared and jensen’s balls, so one would expect them to be quite hard to find. But it seems their balls are leaving a tremendous number of people unsatisfied as well. (To make matters worse, the owners of the quarry in BC have also installed a “no trespassing” sign since the hunt started and several bears have been spotted there by gishers as well.) So… I’m suspending this item. However, there will be a replacement item soon wherein you will be seeking out my golf balls, (which have never left an unsatisfied customer yet.) Also, if you have already completed item #126, you will be able to submit your photo of Jared and Jensen’s ball(s) for the new item and get full credit. The new item will be assigned the same number of points.

#127 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 64 POINTS / These Kung-Fu Nuns (dare we say “Nunjas?”) are biking through the Himalayas to stop human trafficking. (No, really.) In their honor, let’s see some tricks on a BMX bike. Rider must be dressed in a nun’s habit.

#128 / PHOTO / 84 POINTS / Get a Porcupanda or other gishwhes mascot included as an emoji on an official iPhone emoji list.

#129 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 57 POINTS / IMAGE or VIDEO. Pope St. Francis set up a laundromat to help the homeless get access to clean clothes. Follow his lead by setting up a service station to benefit the homeless or impoverished in your area (a “take what you need” public pantry, toiletries cabinet, water station, public shower, public toilet, laundry facility, open library, etc.).

#130 / PHOTO / 23 POINTS / A tactometer used to measure tact.

#131 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Make a collage that features things only locals from your town would know about. Display it prominently in a public space in your town.

#132 / PHOTO / 79 POINTS / Couch Surfing 2: The Revenge. Last year, in our infinite wisdom, we suggested “couch surfing: real surfing, real couch.” We quickly came to our senses and pulled the item for safety reasons, but it’s been a year and we don’t hold onto the past. Couch surfing: Let’s see it in the real surf with a BUOYANT (e.g.,inflatable) couch. You may not use a real couch as it’s too dangerous and bad for the ecosystem. Make it happen. (You may not leave any couches in any body of water and you must be super safe with this. If waves are too big, do not do it.)

#133 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / Waste not, want not. Save every piece of non-biodegradable refuse that you would have normally thrown away from Days 1-5 of the Hunt and on day 6, use this material to create a sculpture of an endangered animal.

#134 / VIDEO / 21 POINTS / My wife is so trend-forward, she recently took a “goat yoga class” (it’s real; you can google it.) Without hurting, upsetting, or endangering ANY animal, show us the next trend in animal-infused yoga that she should get on board with.

#135 / VIDEO / 40 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! (Up to 30 seconds.) Freeze frame on a picture of you (like they do at the end of movies) and then roll a credit sequence for your own life. Include a "here’s what happens to you in the future" sentence or two and then a listing of the people that have helped you get where you are now or where you are going and what their “titles” are. Post this on the social media channel of your choice with the hashtags #gishwhes #mylife. Submit the video, and in the comment field provide the link to the post.

#136 / PHOTO / 29 POINTS / Often misunderstood and rarely properly pronounced, chupacabras just need a good home. Adopt one and show us your favorite bonding moment.

#137 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 51 POINTS / Take an elderly person (at least 70 years old) on a joyride in their favorite car (same make and model and vintage) from their youth. The elderly person must be at least 70 years old; the car, at least 60 years old... and you and the senior must be dressed in period attire that reflects the era when the car was manufactured.

#138 / PHOTO / 52 POINTS / Prejudice is something we can easily see and call out in others. However, we all have biases and prejudices of our own that we are often blind to. You’re going to have to dig deep here - but you’re a gisher, so we know you can do it. Show us you taking a step to overcome one of your own prejudices.

#139 / PHOTO / 61 POINTS / Each member of your team must knit or crochet one piece of a quilted throw that, when combined, showcases your team emblem or symbol.

#140 / VIDEO / 51 POINTS / Everyone talks about drum circles, but they grossly underestimate the power of other shapes. Create a complex shape with as many sides, angles or curves as you can, and demonstrate the power of percussion geometry - with as many drummers as you can drum up.

#141 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / At least 8 people walking in twos, on the Tiger & Turtle in Duisburg, Germany as if it were an actual roller coaster. They must keep their hands up as they walk the track, except for one of the front “riders” who is clenching an invisible lap bar, terrified. It’s okay to be nauseous.

#142 / VIDEO / 80 POINTS / As all gishers know, a Gish Gallop can only be performed by a Forbes 1000 CEO in the lobby of that CEO's company’s headquarters on a hobby horse or a live pony. Caption your video with the name of the company and CEO that we are watching as they Gish Gallop. // UPDATE: CEO list changed.

#143 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / Sure, most Stormtroopers toed the line, but back in the 1960s there were a few draft-dodging peacenik Stormtroopers. Find a famous vintage photo of a peace sit-in or Woodstock-level love-in and flawlessly photoshop in one or more Stormtroopers. We must think it’s the real thing. As an alternative, you can stage your own “peace” picture and submit an “aged” stormtrooper sit-in image. YES, YOU MAY PHOTOSHOP THIS ITEM!

#144 / VIDEO / 37 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds.) An impromptu concert consisting of a chocalho, an apito, a reco-reco, and a pandeiro. (Bonus points if you perform in front of, or in, the Teatro Amazonas.) Oh, and of course the musicians are playing Carry On my Wayward Son by @kansasband.

#145 / PHOTO / 71 POINTS / Oversized board games are a trend, with oversized Jenga and such. Let’s see a game of tiddlywinks being played— scaled up to giant-sized.

#146 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / Two nice suburban monster moms out for a day of shopping at Hoxton’s Monster Supplies in England.

#147 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / Paint an extraordinary portrait of your favorite gishwhes mascot with the brand “D2N” (with the 2 backwards) on the Werregarenstraat.

#148 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 38 POINTS / Dress up as a superhero and perform acts of “kindness” heroism at Hősök tere (Hero's Square).

#149 / VIDEO / 71 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 25 seconds.) Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau gets a lot of attention for being super hot. Frankly, it's starting to detract from his ability to govern. Cool things down by making a sculpture of Trudeau out of Canada's most ample resource: ice. A couple of caveats: the frozen water you use must have something added to it to make it opaque, and inside the ice must be something emblematic of canada that doesn’t melt (for example, a hockey skate). The timelapse must be of the sculpture melting revealing the object hidden inside. Make sure to frame your shot with a fitting or neutral background so that the final product really pops.

#150 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / Ireland has the lowest reports of UFO sightings in Europe each year. Something must be done about this! Make and display a convincing UFO in a public place in Ireland to increase the number.

#151 / PHOTO / 54 POINTS / Visit Cat Island (Tashirojima, Japan) dressed as a dog. You must have at least 10 cats in the photo.

#152 / PHOTO / 42 POINTS / Decorate the exterior of your home like the Pan House, using whatever object speaks to you.

#153 / VIDEO / 72 POINTS / Not to be quixotic, but wind power and automation are the future of personal grooming. Create a wind-powered device to automate a self-care process. Could be a wind-powered shoe shining machine, a wind-powered, toothbrush, etc. (It must actually work and must actually be powered by wind.)

#154 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / There’s a UFO Observation Deck (redmonkeygroup.com) in Slovakia. On Sunday, August 6 at 3 PM Slovakian time, grab your friends and dress up as your interpretation of extraterrestrials and go there. Bring luggage and queue up outside of it as though you're boarding to go back home (you don’t have to enter).

#155 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / Over the years, we’ve had menstrual-hygiene supply sculptures of everything from dinosaurs to seagulls to puppies. We’ve also gotten a lot of flak for encouraging waste, and in protest gishers have donated thousands of menstrual pads to shelters, (which actually proves that in fact we at gishwhes can do no wrong). This final year’s list wouldn’t be complete without a menstrual-hygiene sculpture, so we’re ending this by splitting the difference: Create a tiny, perfectly sculpted statue of Michelangelo’s David or another famous historic sculpture of your choosing out of a SINGLE tampon, and then donate at least 1 box of menstrual hygiene supplies to your local shelter. Submit the image of your sculpture. The donation will be on the honor system. Remember, KARMA is a bitch.

#156 / PHOTO / 71 POINTS / Sure, Misha & HRH Queen Elizabeth II had a rocky year in 2016 with their “Brexit Breakup”, but despite a brief conscious uncoupling, theirs is a love that stands the test of time. Prove it by showing us Egyptian hieroglyphics, Greek urns, or other recently-unearthed archaeological finds that prove theirs is a love that has lasted through the ages. If you’re choosing to do a hieroglyphic, you may NOT permanently deface any stone - use chalk!

#157 / PHOTO / 38 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! NASA is soliciting tweets to send to Voyager 1. Tweet your suggestion with #gishwhes. I suggest it be the following theme: Voyager 1 ran to the store and you are texting to remind it to pick something up at the store. But we will permit messages of any type so let your imaginations run wild. Submit a screenshot of your post. Provide a link to the tweet in the comment field of the submit page.

#158 / PHOTO / 22 POINTS / Thanks to “reactions” we can now communicate our feelings more clearly to one another! But Facebook limits us to just 6 reactions and we at gishwhes HQ believe that this limitation constraints our ability to express nuanced emotions to one another. Let’s see an updated version of the Facebook “reactions” with feelings like “silently judging you”, “reacting positively to your face but planning to gossip about this later”, and “I’m just not sure how to feel about this” and other more subtle emotions. You may photoshop this item.

#159 / PHOTO / 47 POINTS / Who said you couldn't Hunt while in hospital? Certainly not any of us! Show off your large-scale cartoon skills by writing the longest poem (or drawing the largest mural) you can, all about the adventures of a virus caught in a hospital, on a scroll made from a roll of exam table paper.

#160 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 41 POINTS / As you all know, my grandmother lives at Roland Park Place in Baltimore, MD. It’s a senior assisted-living home. She’s been hesitant to have the shenanigans of gishwhes descend, so let’s legitimize that fear... from Tuesday to Thursday 10AM to 4PM ONLY PLEASE! (DON’T SHOW UP AT ANY OTHER TIME OR IT WILL BE AN INCONVENIENCE TO THE GUESTS AT THE HOME and you will be docked points!) Let’s invade Roland Park Place literally! Show up dressed as an extraterrestrial on an interplanetary goodwill mission. Bring an offering of your home planet’s favorite treats or creature comforts (games, large print books, slippers, slip-proof socks, soft blankets, etc) and specimens of natural beauty from this planet (humans like that). You will get 25% bonus points if you perform this item at Roland Park Place (that’s the added value of nepotism), but you can get full credit if you perform this item at any retirement home/assisted living facility.

#161 / PHOTO / 87 POINTS / David LaChapelle is a renowned experimental photographer known for his kitsch-pop surrealist style. Recreate a well-known painting as a photograph in the style of David LaChappelle. Somewhere in your image there must be a banana, and you may not depict The Last Supper. (2X Bonus: get Dave Chappelle to star in your David LaChapelle homage.)

#162 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 33 POINTS / Lube luge. That's it. That's the item.

#163 / PHOTO / 60 POINTS / This Hunt’s must-have fashion trend: an aquarium hat with live fish. The aquarium hat must not endanger the live fish in any way.

#164 / PHOTO / 62 POINTS / DELETED FOR REASONS // ORIGINAL: Get a bonafide zillow listing for property on Mars.

#165 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / https://twitter.com/zenxv/status/845474882607632384

#166 / VIDEO / 38 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 30 seconds.) Follow a tomato back in time from the local co-op to where the farmer grew it. Thank them for their service by sharing a sandwich with them… one that has slices of that tomato in it.

#167 / VIDEO / 29 POINTS / (Time-lapse up to 20 seconds.) There are two things that science has proven unequivocally: 1) global warming is happening and 2) sucking the melting ice cream from a tiny hole in the bottom of a sugar cone is the greatest possible pleasure in life. (Minimum 5 rounded scoops on top and you must suck all the ice cream through the tiny hole.)

#168 / PHOTO / 66 POINTS / When the apocalypse comes and the power goes out you are going to be sorry you are so digitally-dependent! Have your social media page printed on microfiche… just in case.

#169 / PHOTO / 27 POINTS / Write "Ass butt" (in non-toxic kids finger paint or chalk!) on the hindquarters of an Ass. (This should go without saying, but be careful & safe. Approach from the side, never stand directly behind it, and try to keep the donkey happy so you don't get injured.)

#170 / VIDEO / 88 POINTS / Angels may be all-powerful, but they’re luddites (technologically behind the times) and it affects their productivity in the office. Let’s see an angel writing something on an old-school mechanical typewriter (not electric) featuring a working Enochian keyboard. (The keys and keystrokes must correspond to actual Enochian typeface.)

#171 / PHOTO / 41 POINTS / A stump grinder with a unicorn decal, with a child no more than 7 years old wearing a pink princess costume in the driver’s seat. // // UPDATE: Machine should not be operational during photo op. / AMENDED ITEM: A stump grinder with a unicorn decal, being pushed by a child no more than 7 years old wearing a pink princess costume. (Edited because Misha is not much into stump-grinding and thought a stump grinder was something else.) It should go without saying, but this is a photo op. The stump grinder should not be on or operational. Safety first!

#172 / PHOTO / 32 POINTS / Now that this may be the last gishwhes-as-we-know-it ever, it’s time to reflect on missed opportunities. Let’s see the Item List Misha SHOULD have made all these years. Give us your team’s ideal gishwhes Item List with a minimum of 10 Items. If the majority of the items you create look like no thought was put into them (and you were just quickly writing down items to get the points), you will receive zero points.

#173 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 55 POINTS / Complete one of the more challenging items on your team’s homemade gishwhes Item List.

#174 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / DELETED FOR REASONS // ORIGINAL: An Airbnb listing for the gishbus.

#175 / PHOTO / 36 POINTS / Everyone knows “high noon” means “high tea”. Bring a little bit of civilization to the frontier with Wild West teacup and saucer holsters.

#176 / PHOTO / 33 POINTS / For our gish cousins in the antipodes where the days are short and the nights are cold: Establish a “TLC” station at Federation Square, opposite Flinders Street Station in Melbourne or on the steps of the Opera House in Sydney, and provide a little warmth – be it a coffee, a heat pack, or simply a smile – for those making their journey to work on the cold winter mornings. // UPDATE: Melbourne TLC location changed. (Original said “Establish a “TLC” station under the iconic clocks at Flinders Street Station in Melbourne”.)

#177 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / A Scottish terrier in a Scottish kilt eating a scotch egg in front of an Irish monument.

#178 / PHOTO / 54 POINTS / The Prague Astronomical Clock – or Prague orloj – is the third oldest astronomical clock in the world, and the oldest one still operating. But imagine if this feat of mechanical engineering did more than mark the passage of time... Imagine it could actually take you back in time! Gather your teammates, friends, and family members together and show us the time period you would travel back to if this historic clock warped the time continuum. Note: You and your time-travelling companions must be pictured in front of the clock.

#179 / VIDEO / 36 POINTS / (Up to 45 seconds edited.) Share an audio dream diary of your first thoughts as you wake up every morning of the Hunt (so you cannot submit this until the last day of the Hunt!). It must be the first thing you do before you get out of bed.

#180 / VIDEO / 111 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds.) Cinema has evolved, but some actors don’t. Let’s see a silent film actress against a 1920’s style black-and-white-set. The actor/actress must have exaggerated facial expressions and the score must be nickelodeon-style piano music. Suddenly, the music changes… It's hip hop and modern technology comes in with color and sync sound, but she's still black and white and still mouthing words with title card.

#181 / PHOTO / 87 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Let’s see a (SFW) 2,000 word essay published on twitter in 140 character bursts. (no attachments, etc.) about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time. (I’m sorry, but I promised someone this would be an item.) Submit an image of the first post and then a link to this post in the COMMENT field of the submit page so we can check to make sure you “published” the whole thing.

#182 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Seamlessly modify using photoshop (or other digital altering software), a well-know oil painting by adding in an anachronistic element. For example, if it were a Monet, you might put one of the ladies under a parasol holding an ipad. YES, YOU MAY DIGITALLY ALTER THE IMAGE YOU ARE SUBMITTING… with a catch. The anachronistic element must be rendered seamlessly into the image in the style of the original painter or creator. It must look like a part of the original composition; we should not be able to tell it was added in later. Post the image on FB and/or Pinterest. Submit the image you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post in the comment field of the submit page. #gishwhesModernMasterpiece

#183 / PHOTO / 53 POINTS / You are all soon going to be a part of a sinister plot to take over the world… in a unique way. But we need your help. Here’s the first thing you have to do: Decide what your favorite point of interest, historical site or national landmark is in your town or city and enter its address here: http://qrickit.com/qrickit_apps/qrickit_qrcode_creator_geo.php . Below the map on that webpage you’ll see an “optional text” field. Enter “Taken by CFG”. Then click “Qcreate” at the bottom. Download the QR code and submit it as your item. Stay tuned for what comes next...

#184 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 92 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds if video.) Last year, we helped people around the world get access to clean water. But it's been a year and the problem certainly hasn't gone away. In fact, as global temperatures rise, the problem is only going to intensify. Work with your team to create a realistic (not a joke or parody) schematic or prototype of an easy-to-set up portable personal AWG (atmospheric water generator) system that could be used anywhere in the world. It must be cheap to build (aim for less than $10) with parts that can be found in any hardware store. It must be compact & light enough for a nomadic or homeless individual to carry around. Ideally, it would collect enough water in a day to sustain someone for that day.

#185 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / Hug a national forest! Grab as many friends as you can and go to your favorite national forest or park and be tree huggers. Set the camera up so we can see all the tree hugging action clearly.

#186 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / One of the biggest problems astronauts will face when they travel to Mars will be figuring out how to bring enough food for the three year journey. Porcupanda has offered the idea of making their spacecraft out of food. Show them how. Build an edible spacecraft using anything except “space ice cream” (Per our resident Director of Intergalactic Space Exploration, that stuff tastes like strawberry Styrofoam: “Bleecht!” as he so eloquently put it.)

#187 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 51 POINTS / Every year, the scientists at the NASA Jet Propulsion Lab make spectacular pumpkin carvings that put our humble Halloween jack-o-lanterns to shame (see https://www.wired.com/2016/10/watch-nasas-high-tech-pumpkins-action/). Whatever. What’s a rocket scientist got that you don’t have? Let’s see you out-do them! Show us your best and most outlandish WATERMELON-O-LANTERN carving. - Dave Lavery // UPDATE: Now PHOTO OR VIDEO submissions will be accepted.

#188 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / For many years, military aircraft sported spectacular “nose art”— artistic homages to people, places, and ideas important to the aircraft crew. As aesthetically appealing as aircraft nose art may have been, we think they botched it on the choice of canvas. Show us your best nose art - but this time, get it right! All art must be on, around, or incorporate, your nose.

#189 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 32 POINTS / The World’s Worst Lawyer.

#190 / PHOTO / 51 POINTS / Oranges are the new black! Let’s see your most a-peeling cocktail dress all made out of - you guessed it - orange peels. Pose in a crowded urban bar.

#191 / VIDEO / 72 POINTS / (Up to 30 seconds time-lapsed and/or edited.) You didn’t think we were going to let all those oranges go to waste, did you? Wall Drugs has signs announcing Wall Drugs locations hundreds of miles before you get to the store, so drivers get to anticipate the goodness coming. Place signs along 5 miles of road leading up to an orange juice stand that speaks hyperbolically of the life-changing rejuvenation of the coming refreshment with a countdown of the miles. You must have a sign at least every quarter of a mile along the path. If this is insurmountable to you, at the very least, host a freshly-squeezed orange juice party in your backyard for all of your neighbors. You won’t get points for that, but you’ll use the juice and make some friends.

#192 / VIDEO / 47 POINTS / (Time lapse up to 25 seconds). In our busy world, people sometimes forget to slow down and see the beauty around them. Perform a task at work extremely slowly while everyone around you carries on at normal speed. When this is played back in in time lapse, you’re performing at normal speed and it’s the world around you that’s going too fast.

#193 / PHOTO / 10 POINTS / The Riemann hypothesis of mathematics includes the Riemann zeta function, which categorizes some zeros as “non-trivial zeros" and others as "trivial zeros." We think this unequal treatment of zeros, which are clearly all equal, is just wrong! Hold a protest in front of a university mathematics or computer science building with a sign that says something to the effect of "ALL ZEROS ARE EQUAL" or "NO ZEROS ARE TRIVIAL!"

#194 / PHOTO / 67 POINTS / Do you spend too much time indoors while you GISH? It’s time to get outside! Dust off your bicycle, grab a friend or two and go out and ride a 50-mile bike ride (this can be done over the entire period of the Hunt and may be done either on a long road trip somewhere or in different round trip legs to and from your house)! You must track your progress on a GPS drawing app. (Bonus points if you draw a picture of a gishwhes mascot with your path.) Oh, by the way - you need to be wearing part of a pineapple or banana (in some fashion) while you ride. Submit an image of your GPS drawing. Yes, it would be easy to cheat on this item, but let’s all take the high road and practice honesty on this one.

#195 / VIDEO / 235 POINTS / (This video can be as long as it takes to do the job, but we hope the job goes quickly and it is gobbled up fast so the video is short!) Using a steel shredder, shred a decommissioned bus. It must be a full sized bus with at least 10 rows. It may be a school bus or a municipal bus. It may not be a VW MiniBus; it must have been built to seat at least 30. Paint a message that conveys the fact that gishwhes recycled becomes CFG (we’ll explain later). For example, you could write: “Recycled gishwhes = CFG" in large font the side of the bus. Feel free to word this differently, but convey that message. The bigger the bus the better. Oh and paint the windows of the bus to show it’s passengers. (Obviously no living being is in the bus.) Although you should upload a video as your submission, be sure to take pictures of the event in case we need those for the coffee table book (we’ll email you for them).

#196 / PHOTO or VIDEO / 62 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! THIS IS A TOP SECRET ITEM! DO NOT SHARE ITS CONTENT ON SOCIAL MEDIA UNTIL DIRECTED OR YOU WILL RUIN THE SURPRISE AND BE DELUGED WITH BAD KARMA. By now, most of you may know our friend Giles Duley. If not, watch the video at the top of this page. Then, watch here to see what he did with us recently: https://youtu.be/-tOt9LfZF9w ...and he’s doing something amazing with us again with us this year (which we’ll be announcing VERY soon). Giles inspires us and we want to thank him for all of his hard (and often thankless) work. So, we’re going to thank him... BUT WE’RE GOING TO SURPRISE HIM! SO PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT POST ABOUT THIS UNTIL THE DESIGNATED TIME: On Friday, August 11th, at EXACTLY 9am PDT, we are going to give him a “thunderclap” of thanks on the Internet. Because Giles thinks EVERYONE can make a difference no matter their circumstances (and he’s a living embodiment of that), we’re going to prove it. Here’s your job: before the 11th, go out and do an act of kindness. But not just any act of kindness... Giles works hard to help refugee families and landmine victims, so your act of kindness should focus on expanding his work exponentially through the power of gishwhes and gishers. Do something that makes a meaningful, material difference in the life of either a refugee or someone who has been directly impacted by war. If you’re at a loss of how to do this, here are some suggestions: bring a care package to new refugees in your neighborhood, go to a refugee center and volunteer, bring a warm meal to a homeless veteran on the streets, volunteer at a soup kitchen where you know there are war veterans, make a donation to an organization that helps with reconstructive surgery and prosthetics for war victims, or sponsor a child made homeless by the war with a one-time or recurring donation. If you can’t manage to find or coordinate any of the above (but please try!), simply carry out a random act of kindness for another human being on the planet who could legitimately use some kindness. Dig deep on this one, guys. The goal is to cause a ripple effect from the work Giles is doing and expand it worldwide. Let's do this. Capture an image or video of this act. At 9am PDT on Friday, August 11th, post the image or video on Facebook with a detailed description of what you did and crosspost to Twitter. Be sure to mention Giles in the post. (For Facebook, tag @GilesDuleyPhotography and on Twitter, tag @gilesduley with #thanksGiles as the hashtag.) Submit the image or video you take on our site, but provide the link to your social media post link in the comment field of the submit page.

#197 / VIDEO / 24 POINTS / Play a few bars of a well-known tune on a well-known musical instrument—but not in the well-known manner. Play a cello tucked under your chin, a saxophone with mallets, or piano as a string instrument with a bow, that sort of thing. The more unexpected the utilization, the more points. -David Pogue

#198 / PHOTO / 108 POINTS / CHANGE A LIFE. "It gives me hope. I feel special when I'm doing it. If something bad happens to me, all I have to do is dance..." -Timarandarin (14 years old) / Last year gishwhes worked with the charity Random Acts and Giles Duley’s Legacy of War to forever change the lives of three refugee families by raising over $250,000 in just a few days. Anybody who has seen these families' smiles will know what an incredible impact we had working together. / This year, we are teaming up with Random Acts and Legacy of War again to grant the last wish of a dying woman, and in doing so, we will save the dreams of hundreds of children who live in some of the world's poorest conditions. / Fiona Sargeant, a former ballet dancer from England, founded and runs a ballet school in an impoverished township in South Africa that for years has provided ballet instruction, meals, education, safe refuge and ultimately hope for hundreds of children. She is not a doctor, nor running a large foundation or charity, but she does know how to dance and she wanted to give back to the world. She is the living proof that EVERYONE can make a difference, if their heart is behind what they’re doing. / Sadly, Fiona has terminal cancer and only has weeks to live. Once she passes, she expects the school to be shut down. But there is a plan in motion that, if funded, would carry on her legacy. Let’s grant her dying wish and BY THE END OF THE HUNT let her know that her children will be taken care of long after she is gone. / She has no idea we are going to do this! We are going to surprise her with this colossal random act of kindness at the end of the Hunt! / We’ve created a Crowdrise page here that tells her story. DONATIONS ARE 100% TAX DEDUCTIBLE AND 100% OF THE DONATIONS GO TO THE SCHOOL (for countries other than U.S., deductions are contingent on your laws). The Gishwhes Item here: create a fundraising “page” for your team on Crowdrise where family, friends and others can donate. Since this is Gishwhes and there’s always an extra twist with everything we do, here’s the deal: we also want you to get OTHERS to donate to your team’s Crowdrise page. We know you don’t need “points” as an incentive to help these kids, but since it is part of the Hunt, we want to maximize the power of these points to help. / Here’s your assignment: start a page and get at least 10 donations from people or businesses NOT on your team. You and your team members are welcome to donate to your campaign, but that is not a requirement for points— the Item requirement is to get at least 10 people to make a cumulative total of least 10 donations who are NOT on your team. There is no minimum amount to donate for GISHWHES purposes, but Crowdrise does require a minimum $10 donation be collected, and let’s all please encourage others to be generous above this so we can make a profound impact. SUBMIT a screenshot of your team’s page with a minimum of 10 donations on it. (To initially create a fundraising team, click the “Join the Team & Create Your Own Fundraiser“ button.) // UPDATE: You reached the goal of $150,000 in just TWO DAYS. Now we need to make it to $200,000… If we can do THAT, we will be able to fund multiple scholarships for the students, allowing them to travel to other countries to train, compete, and take their experiences and skills back to South Africa! If anyone can make it happen, it’s the gishwhes family… So let’s do this & make some dreams come true!

#199 / PHOTO / 44 POINTS / Breaker, breaker! Tune in for details: CB Channel 27 (Frequency 27.27500) broadcasting near Lacy Park, San Marino, CA. (Latitude: 34.1204167 Longitude: -118.1201348) DATE & TIME: 8/7 12 PM PDT & 4:30PM PDT or 8/9 9 AM PDT. Listen on Broadcast CB CHANNEL 32 (Frequency 27.32500) broadcasting near Hermann Park Conservancy, Houston TX (Latitude: 29.7160286 Longitude: -95.3886413) DATE & TIME: 8/11 NOON CT

#200 / PHOTO / 72 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! She should run! First, research upcoming local, state, and federal elections in your area. Second, nominate, via social media posts, qualified female citizens you think should run for specific elected offices in those upcoming elections based on their qualifications and/or passion. Make a post on any or all of your social media handles, tag them (so they see it!), and explain why you want them to run, using the hashtag#SheShouldRun. But your nomination post is not what you submit on our site! IF you manage to get a woman to publicly commit to running in the next election cycle this week via their social media, submit two images side-by-side: an image of your post “nominating” them to run, next to an screenshot of their social media post committing to run, and provide a link to their post in the comments field of the submit page. Note: Candidate must not have already announced their intent to run for office. We have assigned a special prosecutor to scour the internet for your candidate’s previous declarations of intent-to-run and will vet them.

#201 / PHOTO / 61 POINTS / Outside US: 00-1-323-645-0703 Within US: (323) 645-0703

#202 / PHOTO / 46 POINTS / A gisher wrote me recently stating, “I started gishwhes in 2015 myself and my children all joined in and had the best week of our lives, so much fun, so much love, so much laughter. In December 2015 I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer… But I didn't let it beat me. We signed up for gishwhes 2016 and made beautiful art together and performed many acts of kindness to those around us and in need, my children now 10 & 8 have those lessons in their hearts now, to spread kindness and love to all around them! Unfortunately I am too sick to participate this year, but hope to still be here to see all the wonderful creations everyone makes, and if I'm not still here when gishwhes starts I will be watching down on you all, cheering everyone on.” Obviously, I cried when I read that. We emailed her back, but haven’t heard back… So this one's for you, S. (and your kids), with love from me & everyone in the gishwhes family: Find a local hospital or cancer center and coordinate with them to deliver a comfort bag(s) to a patient. Fill a cheerfully decorated canvas or cloth bag with items to provide palliative relief and comfort to a cancer patient: soft eye masks, scarves, a soft blanket, socks, ginger tea or candy, unscented natural lip balm, sudoku or coloring books, puzzles, poems, etc. Include a note of support or encouragement if you wish. (Please don't say "get well soon.” Phrasing like, "we're sending you our love" is better.) Please do not take a picture with the recipient... Just the bag. We trust you to deliver.

#203 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / THIS ITEM MUST BE POSTED ON SOCIAL MEDIA PRIOR TO THE END OF THE HUNT! Bearby Von Bearamucci has an interview for a position as White House Communications Director on Saturday, August 12th at 8pm ET sharp! He was all set to drive the Gishbus across the country, but its engine wouldn’t start and he has a terrible fear of flying. He’s counting on gishers to help get him from Redding, California to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington, DC before his appointment (by passenger car or truck only. NO PLANES, TRAINS, SHIPPING SERVICES, OR BUSES). Your instructions are here. Coordinate with other gishers to pick up Bearby and take him at least 5 miles, but no more than 100 miles, from your starting point. On your leg of the journey, post a pic of you, Bearby, and the gisher you’re handing him off to at a diner, rest stop, or point of interest (please geo-tag the location). Tag @gishwhes, the next gisher, and @BearbyVonB and use hashtag #GetTheBearThere. You MUST hand Bearby off to the next gisher to complete your Item or you get zero points. Submit your photo with Bearby to us and provide a link to your post in the comments field of the submit page. You will get 40 points if you take a picture with Bearby and a sign with your team name on it, or 60 points if you take a photo with Bearby and transport him (please include side-by-side image of the map points as well). If he makes it to his appointment at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C. by 8 PM ET on August 12th, you will get an additional 50% in points (for a grand total of 60 points for photo only, 90 points for photo + transportation). Yes, we know how convoluted this item is and that it seems destined for failure— but I believe you’ll spit in failure’s eye and say, “Not today!” Sidebar: gishwhes HQ nearly came to blows as we debated over whether providing maps and tools to help facilitate your journey was “helping” and therefore “cheating”, but after a rousing bout of coleslaw-wrestling, “Team Give Them Maps” claimed creamy victory, and so you may use these resources to help you coordinate the journey. But feel free to ignore the map entirely. Because you’re better than that. IMPORTANT NOTES: 1. Members of the same team cannot collect multiple submissions for this item. 2. Make sure other teams get the chance to help Bearby! Yes, this means you can communicate and walk the line of “collaboration” in your hand-off attempts. 3. Individuals transporting Bearby must take him at least 5 miles or up to 100 miles in one trip. 4. You may NOT take him near your homes. We have a GPS locator on Bearby (due to past felonies) so we don’t want to compromise your home locations. 5. Do not exceed the speed limit by more than 5 miles per hour, because that’s what the cops are cool with, obviously. This isn’t Cannonball Run. Make it happen, gishers. Bearby is counting on you to help him land his dream job! // UPDATE: Mileage limit increased from 50 to 100 mile trip.

#204 / PHOTO / 40 POINTS / Escape Gishwhes! https://www.gishwhes.com/escape-room/. If you manage to break out of this wild ride of mystery and mayhem, you’ll be prompted to enter your Team Name to document your success via an online form. BEFORE YOU HIT THE SUBMIT BUTTON, take a screenshot showing your team name in the Text Input Field and save the image, THEN hit the SUBMIT button. Your submission will be uploading the screenshot on our item list (backed up by what the online form sends gishbot).

#205 / PHOTO / 28 POINTS / We've received a bit of criticism that the hunt is "not really a scavenger hunt, it's just Misha getting people to help him with his chores." I'm honestly shocked anyone would say that! Also, people have been complaining that there are "too many geographically specific items" (items that require you to show up at a certain place). I want you to know that I'm listening and processing your feedback! So, I'm adding the following item: Help me help you help me help myself. Show up at 10 AM PDT sharp on August 11th at this location in Bellingham, WA. Wear long sleeves (pants and shirt) and bring a small bucket. Pick at least ONE quart of blackberries and DEPOSIT them into my big vessel so I can make lots of jam. For the item submission you must do two things: 1) You must find the woman in the sock monkey hat with the sheet of paper who is taking down team names and 2) You must take a photo of yourself with your bucket of berries. We will cross-check our list with your submitted photo as your proof. No taking pictures with me, because last year we did that and it ended up taking forever. If no one one on your team lives nearby, you may assign a surrogate, but no surrogate may service more than one team.

#206 / PHOTO / 17 POINTS / We got this letter to our support gnomes:

Name: [REDACTED]

Message : Hello Gishpeople. I want to question why there are so many specific-locations-that-aren't-Sweden only items, and no Sweden only items. I speak for all Swedes when we say that we find this very saddening. We don't understand how you could miss out on an opportunity like this, since Sweden is a very beautiful country, containting great things such as Dalahästar.

We, as a nation, expect a formal apology for this, of course.

All our love, and some sad wonders,

[REDACTED]

Sweden, you're absolutely right! You are a beautiful country and it's time we stopped overlooking you. You deserve a formal apology as requested and so in the interest of international diplomacy, it's our duty to deliver and rectify this egregious oversight. With that in mind, (I hope you'll forgive me but this is a location-specific image to appease Sweden, guys): Take a picture of yourself in front of the biggest landmark or point of interest in your town while holding a beautiful hand-lettered sign that reads, "We Are Sorry, Sweden". This is a location-based item, so you may do this anywhere in the world... except Sweden.

#207 / PHOTO / 48 POINTS / Nothing says "good life choices" like a last-minute rush job tattoo. Get inked with a tattoo that includes "We create therefore we live" or another gishy quote written in any language other than English. Feel free to adorn it with mascots or other hunt-inspired iconography. PS: Don't try to repurpose an old tattoo— we'll be able to tell and your team will be docked points.

#208 / PHOTO / 18 POINTS / As you know, no one was able to successfully find Jared Padalecki or Jensen Ackles' balls in Canada. Misha's balls are a lot easier to find... maybe because they really get around. Find Misha's balls in any of the following locations & take a picture with them. Then put them back EXACTLY where you found them so another team can have a chance to get their hands on Misha's balls, too. LOCATIONS: near the Cathedral Basilica, Newark, NJ; outside Gatorland, Orlando, FL, near Rothko Chapel in Houston, Texas.

#209 / PHOTO / 77 POINTS / Gishwhes is over tonight! Forever! The crumbs of the great multi-year, wild and weird global feast are soon to be all that's left. Let's see you work magic on these crumbs (real bread crumbs or whatever other crumbs you wish to use) and turn them into a portrait of actor Misha Collins. -the Gish Gnomes

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How to Optimize Email Conversion Rates for Next Level

When conversion is the topic of discussion, email marketing can't be factored out of the conversation? Why? Simply because it's proven to be the ruler of all marketing tactics - with the highest ROI than any other channel in B2B marketing. - 99% of consumers check their emails every day (HubSpot). - 80% of business professionals believe in email marketing's capabilities to increase customer retention (HubSpot). - 59% of respondents revealed that marketing emails influence their purchase decision (HubSpot). - 93% of B2B companies use email to distribute their content (Content Marketing Institute). - As of 2019, active email accounts are expected to be around 5.6 billion (Statista). But there's a catch here... That return on investment you're probably drooling over only happens when your email marketing campaigns are successful at convincing your customers to partake of your products or services. Subscribe to Read the Largest Marketing Live Book => You may be a pro at gathering killer open rates, but when your recipients aren't clicking on a landing page link to no more, or aren't signing up to your services, then you're definitely in need of some help with your lead generation. That's right. Open rates should go hand in hand with coveted conversion rates.

What Exactly Does Email Conversion Entail?

Instapage defines email conversion rate as "the percentage of subscribers who complete a goal action." And email marketing conversion rate can be calculated by the following formula, according to the experts. Divide the number of conversions by the number of delivered emails, and multiply that quotient by one-hundred. For instance, let's say you have 20 successful conversions out of 100 delivered emails. Using the formula, that gives you a 20% conversion rate. And when we talk about conversions, what immediately comes to mind as indicators are things like the number of downloads, registrations, increasing sales etc. April Mullen, Senior Marketing Strategist for Selligent on the Litmus blog has this say: "Email is so much more than the final conversion event,” she writes. “It has a critical hand in the revenue-driving process by moving your customers down the funnel toward the website through a series of micro-conversions — all the smaller, desired actions that your customers go through to reach the end goal you had in mind for the campaign. “Everything from delivered, opened, clicked, etc. should be considered as conversion events or micro-conversions that all have a hand in a campaign’s success." So, is there a set standard for a successful conversion rate? The only correct answer here is to have better conversion rates than the one you have now. In cases of conversion rates for email marketing, the likely scenario is that you're going to be competing with yourself. Every email marketer needs to take a closer look at the data to see where their strategies are lacking and plan CRO techniques in response. As we've mentioned before, open rates don't automatically translate to successful conversion rates. Every marketer must take a close look at the feedback data, interpret it, and create CRO strategies to make up for what's lacking. The answer to your need may lie in altering certain elements of the email campaign. Sometimes, it's something as easy as making slight changes to the subject line, reconstructing the message body, or creating different versions of CTAs.

Other Means of Email List Segmentation

Any smart email marketer would know that email list segmentation is part of the success formula that could improve the efficiency of your email marketing campaign. In fact, a personalized email delivers 6x higher transaction rates. Unfortunately, there are still some online marketers who seem to neglect even the simplest email marketing tools, practices, and techniques. And even if they are practicing list segmentation, they aren't very optimal.

The most popular method of segmenting email lists is by demographics. And in all truth, this is less effective than other targeted emailing methods that are also infrequently used. Emails aren't one-size fits all deal. One can be effective to one and completely ill-fitting for the other. And as we all know, customers who aren't interested won't bother to read it, open it, even read it. And what's the worst of the worst, they will unsubscribe. Forget about making assumptions for customer personas, or making presumptions about their wants and needs based off of demographics only.

Know Their Preferences

Upon clicking on your "subscribe" button, immediately give them a short yet relevant form that asks about their interests. Take this Fashion retailer No Rest for Bridget, for instance. They have come up with lists for their business-to-client communications. Their subscribers have the option to choose which lists they would be interested in. And what do you think is the likely outcome of this? Subscribers can receive information relevant to them and won't find anything unnecessary at all.

Don't Ignore Their Buying Behavior

A great way to segment your email list is through taking audience behavior into account. Make use of email reports to find out which emails they're opening, and which ones they're clicking on. Similarly, you can also create lists for customers who bought a specific product or partook in a particular service. You can then send them emails about those items. One good example of this is the Festival City Theatres Trust in Scotland. They have 20 different email lists for various types of performances they host. Upon signup, new subscribers are free to choose which list they want to be a part of. Plus, when they purchase tickets for a specific show, they are added to the email list accordingly.

Considering Relationships

You may think you have your target audience down pat. But even when you've found the right audience to target, they can still be segmented into several email lists. Organizing an email list by customer status or relationship can help you give the right information to the right people. For instance, avoid sending web design-themed emails to a client who's acquiring email marketing services from you. Recommended: Segmenting Your Email List to Improve Response Rate

The Email’s Subject-line

Whether we care to acknowledge it or not, recipients of our email campaigns judge the mails we send by the subject lines they see. And for an email marketer, that means choosing your words very carefully. Crafting an email subject line takes a decent amount of target audience knowledge, and mad copywriting skills. And since people expectedly judge your email subject lines, it's also fair to say that it determines whether or not your emails are opened or thrown straight into the recycle bin. Email subject line CRO is all about the process of testing, analyzing, and tweaking your subject lines based on how your target audience responds to it. The objective is to identify which elements draw your audience's attention the most. It's worth mentioning once again that none of these optimization tactics are a one-size-fits-all situation. This is because every company's consumers are different, and what appeals to one audience segment may not work for the other. All the same, some of the best practices in writing effective email subject lines should still be mentioned.

Keep Your Subject Lines Short

Remember that the majority of users nowadays use their smartphones for checking their emails, or to just surf around the internet in general. A long email subject line that contains, say, 2 complex sentences won't do, and will deflect attention immediately. The magic number you should remember for the number of characters is 50 or less. At the very least, your recipients would scan through the entire email subject line before making the final verdict.

Personalize Your Email Subject Line

If you see your name plastered on some government wall while you're walking down the street (even when you just changed a passing glance at it), wouldn't you turn around and see what that post was about? The same logic applies to writing and optimizing email subject lines. They add a sense of familiarity. And in HubSpot's study, it was revealed that subject lines that hold the first name of the recipient have higher CTR rates than those who don't.

Communicate a Sense of Urgency

If the message comes across as complacent, do you think anyone (even you) would bother to click and see what's up? A huge part of your email campaign's success is attributed to your recipients clicking on your emails and reading what's inside. And the process begins with a compelling and urgent subject line. Couple this with a personalized opening line, and maybe you'd have yourself a winner. Furthermore, it's worth noting to capitalize on "urgency" during special holidays or special company celebrations.

Cultivate a Sense of Exclusivity

It's important to note that you need to make your email recipients feel special. Because the rarer something appears, the more value it has. It's a simple case of wanting something you can't easily acquire. Emphasizing and highlighting exclusive value ignites curiosity in your target audience. In addition, you make them want to know exactly what they're missing out on.

Ask a Compelling Question

Asking questions doesn’t just refer to you creating interrogatives that boggle the mind or spark curiosity. They can be simple questions too, once in a while. Recommended: Why Your Cold Emails Are Ignored (and What to Do About It)

Optimizing the Message Body

So your audience gets past the sender and the email subject line. And because they clicked on your initial introduction, it’s safe to assume that their expectations for finally seeing the meat of the email are quite high - and reasonably so. Keep in mind that click baiting does you no favors, and coupling an attractive email subject line with a tasteless message is just bad for your business reputation. If you want more chances for conversion, then your message body must be unified with the overall theme your email subject line is building.

Email Content for Specific Stages of the Sales Funnel

Winning your target audiences' hearts will require personalization. In fact, 96% of organizations strongly agree that personalizing email content improves email marketing performance. This includes integrating content with the recipient's specific stage in the sales funnel. Taking the customer journey into account, you can send campaigns to your customers and prospective clients based on specific triggers, like: - Amount of time since this person agreed to receive newsletters from you. - Open and click-through rates. - Past purchases and previous conversion rate. - Average order value. Types of emails you can send in response to these triggers include: - Welcome emails: This should be a standard. When people subscribe to your email list, immediately tell them that you're glad to have them on board. - Re-engagement emails: These emails are intended for customers who have left the site and haven't gone back to visit ever since. - Post-purchase emails: This email is sent right after a customer has purchased something. Either send them a short but sweet 'thank-you' note, or do some upselling or cross-selling. - Cart abandonment emails: Use this email to tap a customer's interest anew after they left an item in the cart. Recommended: How to Build a Perfect Marketing Funnel Using Email

Mind Your Email Formats

Email marketing takes integrated effort, and getting your formatting right just might be the big determining factor between attracting people who read what you have to say or abandon your email before they've even begun reading. Some email formatting blunders you'd want to avoid include: Hidden information: Visuals are great, but don't make the mistake of hiding valuable information in an image. Some images are blocked by default, and there's a chance that your recipients would miss the vital information. Not only will you highly fail at attracting the click, but you also risk your email being labeled useless. Incorrect email width: Emails that are too wide or too narrow deliver bad impressions. If your email can't respond to a person's screen, then you stop people from reading or clicking. Make sure your email design is responsive to all screen sizes. Desktop exclusive emails: Mobile outpaced the number of desktop computer users a long time ago. An email that's not optimized for mobile reading is prone to abandonment. Huge blocks of text: Similar to how you read a blog, nobody wants to read huge chunks of text clumped together. If your email is longer than average, break it up with the use of subheadings. Make your email skimmable and readable.

How to Improve Email Content

So you get your subscribers and recipients to successfully open your emails. Well, what now? Content is what keeps them reading and retains their attention. And a couple of other things you could do to make your content more effective include: - Interactive content: Stagnant content barely gets attention. Write content that involves your recipients. You can use videos, animated GIFs, YouTube thumbnails, quizzes, trivia, etc that will help you retain the users' attention. - Conduct surveys: Consistently ask for feedback from your customers. The only people who know themselves better are themselves. By identifying their pain points, you can deliver what they need in the future. - Have social sharing buttons: Shares on social media are clicks too. Buttons are interactive, and they increase your chances for better CTR. - Always mention incentives or rewards: Let your recipients know what's in it for them when they sign up or avail of a promotion you're publicizing. Recommended: 7 Email Marketing Trends to Start Implementing Right Now

Crafting the Perfect CTA

Clear and compelling calls to action always win all the clicks and click-through rates. Your CTAs are the final instruction to your readers - the mother of all takeaways. A beautifully crafted and strategic CTA will inspire action; will persuade people to visit the site, check out more content, or even purchase a product. But what is it about a CTA that makes it good, or makes it convincing enough to attract other people's attention. For starters, a groundbreaking CTA relates strongly to content that's present in the landing page, as well as inspire people's motivation for taking action on that content. And of course, any good CTA must send clear messages about the benefits they can reap when they act. The basics of writing effective CTAs for your email marketing campaign include: - Using loads of action words. - Focusing on value. - Personalizing the CTA. - Drumming up anticipation and curiosity. - Minimizing risks for the customer. - Inspiring scarcity and urgency. - Showcasing social proof and benefits.

The Takeaway

Email has been around for as long as anyone of us could remember. In fact, it's been in existence for decades, and yet, it's still deemed as one of the most effective digital marketing tools that businesses benefit from. It keeps you in touch with customers and business clients alike, and with the advent of better and bigger digital marketing tactics, it has become one of the best tools to utilize for making conversions. When it comes to conversion, email is the head of that marketing tactic. It has the highest ROI against all other channels in B2B marketing. And what do you get when you optimize your emails for conversions? - A deeper knowledge of your customers. - Lower customer acquisition expenses. - Data for better decision-making. - More leads for the business. - Better site and landing page revenue. Subscribe to Read the Largest Marketing Live Book => Read the full article