#So guess I'm just a snowflake don't pay attention | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

keen-li · 11 months ago

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FROZEN MARMALADE: a Christmas special. ☆before.

A/n: these drabble don't affect the plot in anyway, just here to give you some insight on things.

1st drabble; part of the MARMALADE series.

Brother's best friend jk, fuckboy jk, college student reader.

Pairings: fuck boy jk x fem reader.

MARMALADE series

You begged your brother if you could join along on the fun he was going to have with his friends at a Christmas party. And since you didn't have anything to do, all your friends had left to their families and your brother being a good brother and not wanting you to be alone on Christmas decided that it'd be okay if you joined him.

You knew that you were probably gonna meet some people you know from campus but not any you care to talk to.

So you put on your best winter party outfit you could find and grabbed your bag to meet your impatient brother in his car.

"Do you have to take so long" he asked but you ignored him telling him..

"Just drive off"

You watch the little snowflakes fall as you and your brother wait for the traffic to clear. The little Christmas Carols coming from the radio soothing your thoughts.

"Bro are you gonna be here sooner? " you hear a loud and impatient voice speak through your Brother's speakers.

"Yeah I'll be there soon, I'm caught in traffic"

"Boooooo" you hear a second male voice speak, the music in the background blocks you from hearing their voices clearly.

Your brother chuckles.

"Hoseok have you already been drinking?" Your brother asks as the hoseok guy responds with a loud...

"YEP!"

you hear some shuffling on the call, sounds like hoseok doesn't want to move away from the phone.

"He's a light drunk" the first male voice speaks, after being able to push hoseok away.

"...how long are you gonna be?"

"Not long if the traffic moves quickly" your brother tries to move his head out the window to check for any progress. No progress at all.

"Alright be quick... we need you here" he pauses "more like hyung needs you here"

Your brother chuckles understanding as he glances at you staring out the window.

"I'm bringing my sister though" he turns back to the road and your ears perk up at the mention of you.

The person on the phone hums in acknowledgement.

"Oh okay that's fine" he says voice softening "the more the merrier"

"Get here quickly though"

"You're late" you watch a guy approach your brother, dark hair brushing against his forehead as he walks to you both. You do recognise him. He's one of your Brother's friends, jungkook. How did you not recognise his voice earlier. You've seen him before and even talked to him before, you slapyour forehead mentally for forgetting. Guess you couldn't hear over the music that was playing and now that you're here you hear the loud music and it plays sharp and clear through your ear drums.

"I know, the traffic took longer than I thought" your brother defends.

Jungkook, you're pretty sure that's his name, turns to look at you and nod his head at you.

"How Are you? " He asks and you get kinda nervous.

"I'm good thanks" he seems to have noticed your nervousness when you respond.

"Don't get shy with me like you don't know me" he tries to lighten your mood. And it's kinda worked.

"I'm not shy, it's just that I don't know anyone here" you confess, fingers playing with eachother in your sweater pocket.

"Well you know me, that should be enough " he laughs as you feel reassured by his words and warm eyes. You've never seen his smile until now, you actually haven't even paid attention to his face the way you're paying attention to it right now.

You give him a smile back. "You wanted to come so you can't complain " you hear your brother say and you roll your eyes, when did you ever complain. You aren't even complaining. He likes to make you take responsibility of your choices, yiu understand his point of view but its getting irritating. You scoff.

Jungkook watches you as you roll your eyes and finds it amusing how he's never seen this bratty cheeky side of you. He's hasn't interacted with you enough to know you well but he never thought you'd be the cheeky type. He thinks it's quite adorable.

You hear someone, a girl, rush to your brother and pull him away.

"I'll be back" he says but you know he won't be back until you have to go home. They never come back.

"I guess it's just you and me" jungkook says turning back to you after watching your brother rush away with some girl he knows but you don't.

"Let me get you something to drink" he turns and you follow walking into a more crowded part of the party. Its a house party, those houses with a large spiral staircase and a large glowing chandelier in the center and by the look of the house you wouldn't be surprised if those were real diamonds. Who the heck owns this house? And would let some people play around in it. You definitely wouldn't but maybe that's why you don't have such a house.

Jungkook takes you to the backyard and immediately you're there you're met with a beautiful view of the sunset. The open landscape with the trees accessorised with fallen snow really fits into the Christmas holiday house aesthetic.

Some trees are decorated with Christmas lights, the ones closer to civilization. You never knew a place like this existed, so it can't be a holiday house unless its some rich man's holiday house. Music beams through every wave in the air as jungkook guides you to a seat near a fire and you reluctantly take a seat. You don't want to act like some awkward introvert, you aren't quite that but this place is kinda intimidating.

"I'll be back with your cocoa in a bit" cocoa? Are you some baby, he better be joking. You didn't come to a Christmas party filled with twenty year olds, and you being one as well, to come drink cocoa.

"Here" he says handing you a steaming cup of cocoa. You look at him for a minute to see if he's joking but he's totally serious. You take the cup and slowly take a sip as the warm steam hits your face and your once frozen nose warms up.

When you take a sip you're taken back a bit, it taste just like cocoa simple plain cocoa. What did you want it to taste like?

You kinda hoped it was mixed with something, like a spirit, knowing the youth nowadays you'd expect that. But it's not, it's simple plain boring old cocoa, but you won't let jungkook know that. So you put on a smile to show him your gratitude. Maybe your brother told him not to let you drink.

"Is it good?" He asks grin in show and you can't bring yourself to tell him you wanted something strong, maybe it's for the best.

Hum. "It tastes very good, thanks" you smile truly grateful he took the time to find you a place to sit and get you a drink when he probably has something else to do. Something better probably.

"Great. Cause I made it myself" he sounds proud of himself, he definitely is. For a while people have been telling jungkook that his hot cocoa sucked and he's glad you're the first one to tell him he's cocoa tastes good. Since he's been practicing and shit, nothing serious. Its very serious actually especially when he has to look it up on YouTube for ways to make he's cocoa fancier and pretty. In taste and appearance.

He smiles. "I appreciate it" you share a moment of silence as jungkook stares at you and you've never been so anxious to know what a man was thinking. What is he looking at, it's not a creepy stare in anyway. It's more of a I'm in a deep thought and you're what I'm looking at and I can't turn my ears away cause the thought is so good kinda stare.

You don't mind cause you've done that before but you on the other hand don't look as attractive as jungkook does when he's doing it. You probably look like a deer in head lights while jungkook looks like a star in the limelight.

"Jungkook you're needed by the bar" you here someone yell from a distance and that finally breaks him from his trance. What was he thinking of?

Don't know. Maybe about the fact that he's glad you're the first one to try his new and improved hot cocoa and that his glad you liked it. Maybe or maybe not that's what he was thinking of.

"What's that you gave to her" a small female hand stops jungkook by the chest. Jungkook looks at the hand already knowing who owns but she doesn't push it when he stares at the accessorised limb and then at the owner.

"Just some hot cocoa" he tries to walk away but she keeps her hand firm on his chest, not allowing him to move. He could simply shove her away and walk past but he isn't like that.

"Can you make me some kookie" he cringes at the nickname that doesn't sound so good coming out of her mouth.

"Sure" he says not sounding so enthusiastic and just ready to be out of her presence. And so he does, he walks past her as soon possible leaving her to take in his scent as she watches you sips your cocoa in peace, watching the scenery. You're just his friend's sister she thinks to herself, it's nothing.

You place your now empty cup on the ground still stuck on your seat not planning on moving anytime soon. Even though it wasn't what you expected, the cocoa did make you feel warmer and more comfortable, maybe that's what jungkook was going for. Going head on with liquor isn't so good anyways.

The sweet and creamy taste really made you fall into an unknown nostalgia, reminiscing on moments you've lived in your life and your Christmas boyfriends. You honestly wouldn't mind going for another cup of it, it might just be better than alcohol. Cause its able to do everything alcohol can do and more without the bad effects. Jungkook's little concoction, that's what you're gonna call it cause you've never tasted a hot cocoa that can make you feel so many things, maybe you're being dramatic. You're not.

"Hey" a voice speaks next to you and when you turn you see jungkook's friend from earlier...

"It's hoseok" you knew that but the assistance is appreciated. You give him a warm smile contrary to the cold air. He takes a seat next to you making himself comfortable. He doesn't look as drunk as before.

"Why are you sitting by yourself" maybe cause you don't know anyone and your guide left you.

"Nothing just enjoying the view" by this time the sun had already set and the only view being the twinkling lights and your phone screen.

"Let me keep you some company" he nudges himself against the seat making himself even more comfortable.

"There's no ne-" You're about to protest and tell him to go have fun and not let your boring ass keep you here but he stops you.

"Don't say no. I have nothing to do and I thought I'd help you feel a little more comfortable" you nod and hum. Couldn't hurt cause you are bored of the endless scrolling on your phone.

You stay silent for a bit not knowing what conversation starter to use.

"Who owns this house?" You finally ask the burning question on your mind, hoping hoseok has the answers you're looking for.

"Yuri." He says looking at the sky filled with tiny little stars. "You must know her, you're at the same college" you've definitely heard that name and seen her around, but you haven't spotted her here. You heard her family was rich. But you never knew she was this rich. You turn your neck admiring the place for the hundredth time. Hoseok notices and chuckles at that.

"Nice isn't it?" He also looks around at the large landscape and building.

"Very"

"Thanks to jungkook, we were able to have a party here" he informs and your ears peak at the information. "She was a little difficult but jungkook got her to warm up to it"

So jungkook's the reason for this party, not surprised but at yuri's house, how did he even get her to say yes. Bet she had to beg her parents real hard.

"Are they like-" you don't want to finish your sentence and seem nosy, so you hope hoseok is quick to catch your drift.

"Dating?" He asks if that's what you're asking and you nod.

"Jungkook says they aren't but yuri says they are" jungkook's dating. Its not confirmed.

"But to be honest.." he leans in as though about to gossip, "yuri is kinda delusional, we all know jungkook doesn't get into relationships"

He doesn't. Sigh.

"So if you want the truth believe jungkook" you nod not asking anymore questions. You're not going to believe anyone there's nothing to believe, you just wanted to know. It doesn't even matter what the truth is to you.

You go silent still unconsciously pondering on what hoseok just told you. You wish you didn't ask now you've disturbed your mood. Why do you even care.

New year's resolution

1. Learn to kind your own business.

"Are there any drinks?" Now you just wanna clear your mind. The comfort and warmth from the cocoa has now faded away and is now out of your bloodstream.

"Glad you asked" he springs up and stretches his hand out to you.

"Wanna go grab some." You nod taking his hand.

"Sure"

....

You've taken a few cups and you are feeling the hit but not too much, but enough to have you giggling at hoseok's silly jokes. You'd never laugh like this if you were sober. But you're still able to function. You haven't seen your brother seen you first entered the party. Honestly you don't want to see him, not while you're like this.

"You shouldn't be hanging out with hoseok" Jungkook's voice speaks and you both turn to it. "You'll get drunk" he finishes eyeing you.

"Isn't that the point" hoseok mumbles.

"Come on let's get you some water and something to eat" he say guiding by your shoulder. The main reason you're even going with him is cause you're kinda feeling hungry and really want something to eat. Drinking alcohol on and empty stomach isn't such a good idea after all.

"Is my brother putting you up to this?" You say leaning against the counter watching him pulling something out of the fridge. Such a beautiful fridge.

"No." He doesn't say too much.

After removing the sandwich from the microwave he hands it to you.

"First a grilled cheese sandwich" you take it still a little skeptical.

"Its mine so you dont need to worry about it" He reassures as you take a bite into it. He watches your hands wrapped around it as you look down whilst taking a bite. He watches the way your lips move to chew the food, your cheeks puffing up with each movement. He thinks you look so cute right now. He shouldn't be thinking about he's friend's sister in that way but he can't help it, you're just to damn cute. But you'll never know that he's thought that.

He tries to keep his facial expressions and body language unreadable and it surely is.

"You should have some water now"

He points to the bottle of water next to you. Before you take it you can't help but wonder.

"Why are you here?" He knows what you're asking and he chuckles.

And with a straight face and a grin he speaks.

"You're my friend's sister. Don't want something bad to happen to you" your face falls, what we're you hoping he was going to say.

"There are alot of bad guys here. Don't want you to have to meet them"

If only you knew.

You smile and nodding understandingly.

Even with a sweater on the winter air seems to creep in through you one way or another and you shiver more. You feel so awkward, you wish you never came. And the way jungkook looks at you doesn't help your mind calm down. The only time you remember feeling anything close to what you're feeling now is when your ex broke up with you on Christmas. Fuck him, on Christmas of all days.

But why are you feeling that way cause of jungkook's words. You need to sleep this off.

2. Stay away from parties.

#fanfic #jungkook #jeon jungguk #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts #jeon jungkook #jungkook au #jeongguk #jeon jeongkook #jeon jeongguk #bts jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #FROZEN MARMALADE

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a-little-piece-of-trash · 3 years ago

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Just a little ficlet i was inspired to write by the gt ace attorney server :]

Shifter!feenie is stuck at a tiny size and is found by bratworth.

__________________________

Miles Edgeworth stood outside the courthouse, lost in thought. It was a cold day, snow fell from the sky bit by bit, and splotches of white dotted the ground.

He was thinking about the trial that had just wrapped up. A guilty verdict of course, Miles Edgeworth was the model of perfection, he's never lost a case and never will.

He exhaled and smiled, watching his own breath flow through the air- It rarely ever snowed in Los Angeles, so despite it being childish, he still found it amusing to do so.

Something on the ground caught his eye. A small pile of red. At first he feared the worst, thinking he might have stumbled onto a crime scene, but upon closer inspection it turned out to only be a scarf.

"That's certainly odd," he thought out loud, "Why would someone leave this here? Or, how could they not notice it missing, especially in this weather…"

He reached down to pick up the scarf, but froze midway from doing so.

The scarf was moving…. or rather, something in the scarf. It writhed and thrashed, most likely trying to escape from its cloth prison.

He thought it must've been some sort of mouse or squirrel, maybe even a bird. Either way he decided to lift the scarf and set the creature free.

As he did so, he noticed something…even more odd. The creature was neither a bird nor a mouse… but a human…albeit a tiny one, it was a human nonetheless.

The tiny human looked up at him, first with fear, then with surprise, then with…joy?

Perplexed, Miles picked up the tiny human and closely inspected him. It was only then that he recognized him.

"Phoenix Wright?" he questioned.

"Miles! So you do remember me!" The tiny human- Phoenix- responded with pure joy.

"Nngh, Please don't call me by my first name, Wright." Edgeworth instinctively snapped, prompting a quiet "sorry" from the smaller man in response.

"And… I certainly remember you being a lot… taller." Edgeworth furrowed his brow, an expression of confusion crossing his face. "What happened to you?"

Phoenix wasn't really paying attention. He was cold, but Miles was so warm. He didn't realize it himself, but he leaned into miles' hand, sighing contentedly as he did so.

Edgeworth blushed a little, though he would never admit it. He cleared his throat to get Wright's attention.

"Phoe- Wright. Please explain to me… this-" using his free hand, he gestured to Phoenix's entirety. "Now."

Phoenix perked up and looked up at Miles, then thought of how to explain his situation.

"Well… I'm a sizeshifter." He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "I can change my size whenever I want…well, kind of. I'm actually a little stuck right now." he giggled at his own dumb pun.

Miles sighed, ignoring the joke.

"Is there any way for you to change back? I don't want to have to be dealing with you right now."

"Ouch, Edgeworth. Ouch." Phoenix looked down sadly. "Well, I think I shrank because I'm a little low on energy. Sometimes my body shrinks in order to preserve energy when I get too exhausted, I guess."

"You…guess? That's not very helpful, Wright."

"Look, it's the best explanation I could come up with." Phoenix crossed his arms.

Suddenly, he felt a terrible shiver run down his spine as a particularly big snowflake landed on his head. "The cold definitely doesn't help though. I need to find someplace warm." His eyes drifted up to Miles' breast pocket.

Somehow, Edgeworth knew exactly what Wright was going to say.

"No."

"Aww c'mon Edgeworth, please? It's so cold! And you're so warm! I promise I won't bother you." Phoenix looked up at him with big, sad eyes.

Miles blushed quite a bit at that, quickly looking away. Damn You Wright, For Being So Cute.

"Nngh. Fine." He lifted Wright closer before carelessly letting him tumble into his breast pocket.

Phoenix fell into the pocket with an oof, quickly, he readjusted himself into a more comfortable position, then sighed contentedly at the newfound warmth.

"Thanks, Edgeworth."

"Miles….You can call me Miles."

"Huh?" Phoenix was shocked by how loud Edgeworth had sounded, he could feel his voice reverberate through his entire body… wait what did he just say?

It took a moment to process, but once it did, he smiled widely.

"Okay Miles." He yawned, letting the warmth overtake him.

He noticed a rhythmic sound that seemed to almost surround him. A heartbeat. Miles' Heartbeat. It was comforting. Eventually, he fell asleep.

Miles looked down into his pocket every now and then as he went on with his day, each time his face went red, and he quickly looked up and tried to focus on what he was doing.

He must've looked quite weird with that red scarf wrapped around his neck, it just didn't match that suit of his, but for once, he didn't care about appearances.

#g/t #g/t ace attorney #gt #sizeshifter #sizeshifter!phoenix #ace attorney #g/t writing #lmk if theres any typos or weird spots #tumblr was being weird again when i was trying to format it

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istumpysk · 3 years ago

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Since everyone is confessing- I started reading the books when I was 15 so my reading comprehension was... ok-ish. But I'd already decided to love Sansa because I was sick of books shitting on girly girls. I thought J*nerys was gonna be a thing but I didn't like it. I thought it was boring and bland. And S*nsan I had no idea what to think about- there was no way of getting around the age diff, he was a pretty useless guy and also too low-born. It was unrealistic.

Then somewhere bw ACOK and ASOS I decided to check out the spec on Tumblr....and you can guess the kind of shit I came across lol. I couldn't exactly refute them tho I thought the three headed dragon theory somehow went against the spirit of ASOIAF. BUT I guess S6 had just come out the year before (I wasn't paying attention to the show then) so I came across some Jonsa stuff. I liked the idea, but I was not convinced it would be canon.....but then I kept reading and I started seeing stuff. Jon fantasised about having a wife and kids and I thought hmm didn't I just see this somewhere?? Sansa could taste the snowflakes on her lips 👀👀👀👀👀and then she was "wildly in love with Waymar". I thought who tf is Waymar??? OH THAT GUY who...for some reason had the exact same physical description as Jon snow within like 20 pages of each other? I remembered because it had been so damn odd.

And then I reached ADOD and I read the chapter where D is hearing petitions. The petition with the lady who left her house only to come back and find it taken over by slaves stuck out to me, and when D gave her ruling on that- I knew. She's never gonna sit on the IT. I was already very dubious about J*nerys since D kept bashing on Starks and since I could NOT imagine a story where the North would not be independent by the end. Sorry but you don't introduce an independence plot and then end it with their continued subjugation. AND THEN. I read about Jon remembering Sansa brushing her hair and singing followed by you know nothing, Jon Snow. THAT was when I lost my shit.

Still I didn't get very into the fandom then. I was like yea Jonsa has a lot of potential to become canon and it's my preferred ship and the fics are great. Then few months back I thought how's the asoiaf fandom doing and I checked out Tumblr. First place I find- the university and it has no Jonsa. I'm like ???? So I searched around and found the pol!Jon theory. And I thought, you know what? I'm gonna go see for myself. So I watched the show and here I am.

That is a LONG story 😬

I love your story. :) I'm impressed. When I was 15, I was struggling my way through The Catcher in the Rye, trying to retain anything.

It's so depressing knowing people find the university before anything else. You made it though!

And yes, what a game changer:

Of Sansa, brushing out Lady's coat and singing to herself. You know nothing, Jon Snow.

#stumpy ask #dontbipanicjonsa #jonsa

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librarian-system-vtuber · 2 years ago

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Also, sunder-the-gold showing they just don't pay attention to Gamer Discourse™ 'cause guess what there are entire channels dedicated to; cataloguing Gamer™ backlash the second a non-sexualized female protagonist is introduced in a video game, especially if she's in a AAA series that's traditionally had male player characters. Lara Croft? Sexualized to hell back in her early years, only gets away with being Hollywood Average™ nowadays because she's got history. Bayonetta? The upcoming fourth game, Origins, will be the first game where the titular heroine doesn't go borderline naked on the regular, and that's just because it's set back when she was a minor. Hornet? Part of a beloved and pretty openly queer-friendly indie game made by three people, not to mention being an established character from the first game that players already loved. If a woman who wasn't previously established were to be introduced as the mandatory player character for the whole game in, say, a brand new Deus Ex for example, there would be men making Twitter even less usable than normal. Doubly so if it were one of the beloved Gamerbro™ AAA shooters like CoD or a game that's supposed to be "historically accurate." Hell, we actually saw this with The Last of Us 2 and people throwing piss-fits about how professional selfish jackass Joel wasn't the main character.

And before anyone gets the bright idea to try to frame me as some precious little snowflake who just wants to be a good little Christian girl and avoid sexuality in video games at all costs like when I pointed out how uncomfortable the overly-sexualized teenager who speaks like a stereotypical Japanese toddler from Majestic Prince made me in Super Robot Wars 30; I'm actually kind of a slut around pretty enough girls. I love Bayonetta, especially 2 'cause she rocks the shorter hair much better than that ugly cone from 1. I follow kink artists, and will even reblog particularly juicy (IMO) pics as long as they don't contain the one kink I'm still kind of shy about due bullshit stigma around it caused by wrongful association with some very uncool stuff. I've even considered getting a Chaturbate to play smutty games Twitch wouldn't allow, but I usually decide against it because the one game that always comes to mind has a bit of a transphobia problem, even if the worst of it has to be toggled on to be encountered.

a helpful flow chart for all aspiring game devs out there

#vent #Christ that took a dog's age to type up #CW transphobia #CW sexism

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neonlight2 · 2 years ago

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The Moon’s Smile: chapter 4

T/W: again, Dumbledore. We only except slander here.

Chapter 3

It was a winter colder than any I had seen before. A cold that seeps through your skin to chill your bones. But by Merlin was it gorgeous.

The trees were barren of leaves and flowers, but the contrast of their dark bark and the pure white snow was something to behold. Sometimes if you looked straight ahead you could even see the delicate patterns of a snowflake before it lands on your nose. Each made your skin tingle from the burning frost. The repetitive droplets would eventually make anyones nose and cheeks pink. Almost as if they had been pinched my a clinging grandmother visiting in the holidays.

Which I guessed fit with the timing.

"One day you are going to get cold, and catch one— and on that day I don't want to here a word. A word!"

"You'll end up getting an ulcer if you keep worrying about these things Minerva."

"Well if you worried more about yourself I wouldn't have to."

"Sounds like an excuse to worry to me. You know I don't get cold."

"The hell you don't. Half of the time you feel like a icicle... you wonder why I don't hug you as often."

"Fine. I don't feel cold."

"Would you please just put on the robe?"

"Alright... but only cause you're my favorite."

•______________________________•

"So what am I really doing here?" I ask, sitting comfortably on one of the two leather seats in front of Dumbles oversized desk.

Naturally I sat with my back and legs facing either arm rests, dangling my feet with a simple sway. All while my hands stroked lightly against the fluff and velvet of Fawkes' feathers. He had taken his place at my side the moment I had wandered about five feet from his stands, and then migrated with me to the chairs so he wouldn't loose any attention. Needy little Phoenix he can be, but I suppose he's still cute enough to get away with it.

He's regenerated recently. Still in his prime stage right now no doubt.

"As much as we would like to pretend..." I drag out the sentiment enough to gesture to both of them. "This isn't just some sappy reunion filled with giddy giggles."

When I receive a sharper expression for Minerva my face turns apoplectic for a few seconds before hardening once again.

"Not that I wouldn't want that Nirvana, but you know I'm right."

Albus sits taller in his chair, clasping his hands in from of him while glancing briefly at Minerva. "You are."

Narrowing my eyes at him, my hand halts momentarily, which causes Fawkes to nudge at it with his beak. "Okay..," glancing at both of them I try to cut through the thickening atmosphere. "What is it exactly."

"I think that you know most of it. Of... what's been happening as of late." He answers, emphasizing the last part.

Swallowing slowly I nod. Of course I knew. Everyone that was like us had heard. No one in the witching and wizarding world could escape the brutal, savage truth of what tragedies had struck.

The blood split.

On both sides.

"The deaths have increased at a pace that the board had never expected."

My jaw clenches at that. So it was a number that was upsetting?

"I have tried my best to convince them to hire the proper safety needed, but as you know... the ministry is more worried for..,"

"Their own kind." I grit out, knowing very well it's what he was going to say.

Visibly sighing in dismay he concurs with a nod.

Scoffing with no remorse, anger festers deep within my gut— furiously wanting to explode like a volcano. "What a wonderful system we have." I remark with blatant distaste. Looking pointedly at him I continue. "Don't we Albus?"

He pays no mind to my accusing tone and rather continues on with a pointed gaze of his own. "We need your help."

Gulping once more, I feel my nose flare slightly as I shake my head. I try to focus on the grooming of Fawkes feathers, but he gives me no peace.

"Nyx, you know I wouldn't have asked if you weren't truly needed. I understand your contempt with me, and I do not judge you for it, but you mustn't let something like that sway your decision—,"

"Bloody hell, Dumbledore." I growl, lifting Fawkes off me. Luckily, he can take a hint —unlike his owner— and he takes flight to return to his perch as I massage my temples.

"This isn't about you! Children are dying for the love of Merlin! Of course I have to take a damn second to breathe." I exhale forcefully as I stand to my feet, flailing my arms out towards the door before I lean against his desk to look at him directly.

"We have a fucked up hierarchy in our government, which means a bunch of pricks decided that keeping other witches and wizards safe isn't worth their time. Just because they have muggle parents! And don't even get me started on how much of a pushover Cornelius Fudge is. I swear I wish I had never listened to you and let Gellert take him out years

ago—,"

"Nyx—," his tone is filled with warning but I will have none of it.

"Do not interrupt me. This time I'm serious Dumbledore." I counter with a deadly finger raised. "None of this would have even happened in the first place if everyone has just listened to me! But no!" I scream dragging out 'no' as far as my lungs will allow.

"It's not like I can see the future of anything!"

The room goes silent after the last word leaves my lips, which trembles with rage. My breathing was the only thing that could be heard, having become overwhelmed after the outbreak.

Closing my eyes, I calm myself by steadying my breathing and soothing the ache in my throat.

"I'm sorry Minerva." I whisper tapping my fingers closer to where she stands still.

When my eyes open I don't look at her at first, not really ready to if I'm honest with myself. It's been over a decade since I've seen her, and the first she sees of me is a raging breakdown. Not something I'm necessarily proud of.

No, my eyes go back, fitting back into the contact that I had just had with him. However, this time his held guilt that I had never seen before. Which is what scared me most.

In the same whisper I had before I ask, "What do you need from me?"

His eyes lower, opening the drawer next to him. And after I get a glimpse of what's in his hands I can't help but let my mind wander at the possibility.

"I need you to be a student again."

#marauders era #marauders #harry potter #hogwarts #slytherin #gryffindor #hufflepuff #ravenclaw #fuck dumbledore #dumbledore slander #wolfstar x reader #wolfstar #dorlene #lily evens #professor mcgonagall #minerva mcgonagall

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genshinboys · 3 years ago

Note

That answered ask... 😂

I swear to fucking god that I'm the one that keeps on picking on Childe every fucking time for every fucking thing lol

"Whoah, so edgy... Tidal wave! Riptide!"

"Unfortunately, there's no one else here anymore. You were finished with them before I could even start"

"Of course I shouldn't let my guard down, I'm around you, right, you dick?"

"What if I don't wanna brace myself?!"

*when he's rambling non-stop because he knows he can be very annoying* "FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST BE QUIET FOR AT LEAST ONE MINUTE!" *one minute later* "THAT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH! BE QUIET FOR SOME TIME, FOR FUCK'S SAKE! *he says something* "I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY WE WOULD HAVE A NICE FUCK IF YOU SHUT UP, WHAT THE--" *leaves*

"I swear to God, sometimes I wish I could just wipe that cocky smirk out of your face... No, not by kissing you, I can assure... Nah, throwing fists is still not enough"

"Thank you for the promise of being gentle... Too bad I can't be that gentle to you..." *fights him*

"*full-on rage mode* STOP SUMMONING THAT FUCKING WHALE AT ME, DICK!!"

However, at the same time those sentences were being said...

*takes care of him while he's not good after using his other form*

*patches all of his wounds, because wow this dude likes to fight*

*gives him shoulder massages because, deep down, he is very tense*

*gives him some healthy foods and drinks so that he can be at his best potential*

With Zhongli is another story, though...

*rushes to him like an excited puppy* "Hey, Zhongli!! I have something to tell you!! I was exploring this domain and it was just FULL of geo monsters and stuff, so I tried summoning one of your pillars. That might have not worked quite well because it exploded instead of resonating but--"

*buries faces in his chest while hugging, while rambling incoherent nonsense*

*hugs him from behind every fucking time*

*plays with his long hair and asks him to let it loose to braid it or something, if he wants to*

*listens attentively to every fucking one of his stories, even making some questions and holding back the inner chaotic gremlin that resides within me*

*always pays for almost anything because he always forgets his wallet or doesn't have enough mora*

And when the soft moments with Zhongli are over, here comes Childe...

"WHY YOURE NOT THAT CUTE WITH ME, TOO?!"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A DICK"

"YOU'RE A DICK, TOO"

"I CAN SEE WE'RE EVEN ON THAT, HUH?!"

"DAMN RIGHT, WE ARE"

"..."

"Please be that way with me, too..." *blushes*

"L-Lapatchka..." *blushes back*

*two hours later*

"Okay, okay, turn back. I miss your sass and attitude, girlie"

"... What?!"

"It's sweet seeing this other side of you, but I guess I like how you're normally are to me. You know, the challenge and everything?"

"... You're a dick"

"OH HOW I MISSED YOU CALLING ME THAT!!"

*sighs* "You're hopeless..."

*excited Childe noises, confused Zhongli noises, lots of sighs from you*

By the way, is it okay if I claim an emoji? If I could choose, maybe this one? ❄️

I hope you're okay, too! Have a good time 💞

-❄

Of course you can! A cute little funny snowflake 😂 😂 😂

Gosh, it's like me and Childe in my head. I'd chastise him for everything and call him names and then it is like something in my brain switches and I'd coo at the man, hug him tightly and give him neck kisses till he starts giggling in this cute boyish voice of his 😩😱🤧

I've never felt so strongly about a character, never had such contrasting emotions lol

But, you're right. It is his fault for being this cocky and arogant. He simply knows you have hots for him 😩😩😩

Plus, he has no business acting so cute around us and getting protective out of a sudden and comparing us to the stars... I'm crying 😢

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myhockeyworld87 · 4 years ago

Text

Favorite Season - Jonathan Toews

Word Count: 8,690

POV: Jon’s

Notes: So this is me in my sad bitch hours, so let me apologize in advance to everyone. This story just sort of popped into my head when I listened to Mariah Carey’s Miss You Most at Christmas Time and so I decided to put it down on paper so to speak. Sorry I haven’t been on much lately, but hopefully that will change with the new year. Guess I needed a little cleanse, but I’ll post more on that later. Happy Reading and Happy New Year! I hope you are spending it with friends or family or both. May 2021 bring you peace, joy, health and happiness!

Sidenote: This is not my gif

Second Sidenote: Wishing Jon the best and hoping that he is able to be back on the ice soon!

People always assumed when you talked about what season you loved the most, that you meant hockey, for obvious reasons of course; it was your profession, but once you'd met (Y/N), the word season took on a whole new meaning. You'd kindly respond and tell them no, that wasn't the season you were talking about. They then assumed that you'd meant spring, for that's when (Y/N) walked into your life. Well, ran into was more like it. She'd been rushing to the United Center for an interview for a summer internship program, while you were on your way out. Neither one of you had been paying attention, which is how you'd ended up holding her in your arms that first time. You knew from that first moment that you never wanted to let her go.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," (Y/N) said as she tried to regain her footing.

"No, it's my fault. I should've been watching where I was going." She stepped out of your arms to pick up the strewn contents of her bag and being the gentlemen that you were, you knelt down to help her. "Here let me help you." You picked up a small paperback book and glanced at the title. "Alors tu apprends le Francais?"

"Oh geez, this is so embarrassing," she admitted, a blush staining her cheeks. "I just bought this book a week ago, in hopes to learn French but I'm afraid I don't know a word of what you said…well, other than French." She laughed softly to cover up her embarrassment, but the sound was like a melody that you wanted to play over and over again.

"I just asked if you were learning French." You handed the book back to her with a smile, as you both stood up off the ground.

"Well, don't I feel stupid." She placed the book back in the bag, then placed it on her shoulder. "But yes, I'm trying to learn French. I'm hoping to go to Paris after graduation. Which gives me approximately one year to learn the language, you so eloquently speak."

"Thank you, but I grew up speaking it, so it comes naturally."

"Ah, well, you're lucky." She took a step away. "I've got to run. Again, so sorry for bumping into you."

"It really wasn't your fault."

"We'll call it a draw," she said with a lift of her shoulder as she turned and walked away. It was then you noticed a small snowflake charm on the ground.

"Wait, you forgot this." She turned back around, meeting you halfway.

"Oh, this must have fallen off my keychain again. Thank you, I would've been devasted had I lost this. I owe you one."

You weren't sure if they were just words spoken or if she truly meant them, but you decided to take a gamble. "How about dinner?"

Her beautiful eyes got even larger, at your poor attempt to ask her out, and you thought you'd just made an idiot of yourself. "Um…sure." She dug into her bag pulled out a pen, then tore a page of her learn to speak French book out. She scribbled down her name and number, then handed it over to you. "Call me." Then she turned and took off again. "Sorry, I'm really late." She was halfway down the hall as you stood there glancing between her name and her. "Hey what's your name?" she called out.

"It's Jon."

"Make sure you bring my page to dinner. I expect you to teach me how to say whatever's on that." The words were no sooner out of her mouth than she disappeared down the hall. You called her later that night, and then the following day and every day after that. By the end of spring her French had improved, but not to the point where the two of you could have full conversations without her questioning words here and there. Yes, that spring had been magical and if someone would've asked you as summer started, you probably would've said that it was your favorite season. But then summer did start, and well that meant you got to see (Y/N) lounging by the lake in a bikini. Your twenty-year-old self thought there was no better season than this. Again though, that wasn't the season that would stand out in your mind. Nor would it be fall, when just after six months of dating her you told her you loved her.

It hadn't been some grand gesture like you see in the movie. Rather it was really quite simple. You'd just lost the season opener to the Nashville Predators. It was your first season as captain of the team and you'd really felt the pressure; more from yourself than anyone else. You were the last to come out of the locker room, and you were feeling pretty defeated, but there stood (Y/N) leaning against the wall, holding a piece of paper which read, 'Tu Les Auras La Prochaine fois.' But it wasn't the sign saying that you'll get them next time that made your heart skip a beat, it was seeing her smiling face holding it that did it for you. "Je t'aime." The words were out of your mouth before you could think about it, and you didn't want to take them back. She looked a bit startled and unsure of what to say. "It means I love you, silly. Man, I really thought your French was getting better."

"I…I know what you said. I just want to make sure, you meant it."

"Je t'aime, Te Quiero, Ti Amo, they all mean the same, (Y/N). I love you. I probably should've said it the day I met you, but…" She still didn't say anything and suddenly you were starting to wonder if maybe today was too soon. "You don't have to say it back."

"No…I mean…Yes…" She closed her eyes then, gathering her thoughts. "Damn, I said that all wrong. I love you too, Jon. Je t'aime." Her lips were on yours then, the kiss was like so many you shared these last few months, only there was more heat, more passion as you poured all your love for her into it. "Let's go home," she softly whispered when you broke apart, a glint in her eye that told you she wanted to show you how much she really loved you.

Your lips quirked up into a smile. "Anything you want, mon amour."

Yes, fall definitely was one of your favorite times, but it was Christmas that always held a special meaning.

That first Christmas would always hold a special place in your heart. You could remember it like it was yesterday.

You'd just come home from a quick road trip to Detriot. You dropped your bags off at your place and then headed over to (Y/N)'s apartment. When you got there, caricatures of her and her two roommates were drawn on the door, all three dressed for Christmas and around a cartoon tree. You had a hard time knowing where to knock for all the decorations on the door. (Y/N) came scurrying to the door. "You're back," she said jumping into your arms and kissing you soundly. Your lips never left hers as you stepped into the apartment.

"Mmm, I see someone missed me."

"I always miss you, but I'm glad you're back. You're just in time to help me hang the rest of these decorations. I could use your height."

"Oh, so now you only want me because I'm tall." She released you then swatted you on the arm.

"No, but it doesn't hurt. Here can you help me string these lights up?"

You took the strand and hung them up per her instructions. "Boy, you really go all out for Christmas."

"But of course, don't you?"

"Not really. I don't even have a tree."

"Wait, what? You don't have a tree?" She repeated your exact words as if the thought was impossible.

"It's not really a huge deal in my family, besides I'm usually never home because of hockey," you told her as you finished hanging the lights. (Y/N) walked over to the closet, grabbed her shoes, and put on her coat, as soon as you were done. "Uh, babe, where are you going?"

"To go get you some Christmas decorations." She opened the door, then looked back when you didn't follow. "Are you coming?" You had no choice but to follow her.

The rest of the afternoon was spent picking out lights, ornaments, a tree, and more decorations than you could fit in your shopping cart, but you didn't mind being dragged from store to store as (Y/N)'s face lit up in every one of them. "Ok, star or angel?" she asked you holding up two tree toppers, but before you could answer she kept going. "I mean part of me thinks that we should go with the star. It's pretty traditional and well they always sing about hanging the star on top of the tree, but I like the symbolism of the angel."

You looked both of them over when she finally decided to take a breath. "Angel, definitely." She turned the figurine towards her looking it over, while you walked behind her, letting your hands slide around her waist so you could pull her close. When she turned back to look at you, questioning your choice, you simply said, "You're my angel and she reminds me of you." She kissed you then, right there in aisle C8, amidst the Christmas decorations.

"Angel it is then." She set the tree topper in the cart and the two of you headed to the checkout. On the way there, you spotted a sprig of mistletoe and tossed it in the cart unbeknownst to (Y/N). It wasn't until the tree was up that night, that she found it. "I don't remember putting this in the cart."

"You didn't. I did." You took the mistletoe out of her hand and went to hang it up in the archway. "If we're going for full-on Christmas, we can't forget the best part." Grabbing her hand, you lead her over to where you'd just hung the little green sprig.

"You really think you need this, to get me to make out with you?" Your hands encircled her waist as she spoke the words, and you drew her in close to you.

"Well, no. This is just an excuse." You pecked her lips quickly. "Besides, this is my first time decorating for this holiday, I might as well go all out."

She returned the kiss, only it was more heated as you slid your tongue inside her. She moaned into your mouth before pulling back. "In that case, let's make it a little more memorable." She stepped out of your embrace, her fingers trailing down to the button on your pants. It slipped out of the buttonhole easily, before she slid the zipper down. You sucked in a breath, as her hands snuck inside the waistband of your boxers and she slid them and your pants all the way to the ground. (Y/N) fell to her knees, her hands skating up your thighs as you felt her warm breath fan across your cock. It twitched before you felt her lips place a kiss right on the head. Her lips trailed all the way up and down the length of your shaft, teasing you.

"Babe, you're killing me." A wicked glint in her eye was her answer back, as she placed her puckered lips on the head one last time before she finally took you inside her mouth. Your hands threaded through her hair as she sunk down to take most of you in. She took her free hand and wrapped it around the length that didn't fit inside and gave it a gentle squeeze, then her mouth started to work its own little bit of Christmas magic as she hollowed out her cheeks and sucked on your cock. "Damn, baby that feels so good," you hissed out, your hips rocking a bit into her mouth. If this was (Y/N)'s idea of Christmas traditions you were all for it, and mistletoe was definitely going to be a staple to your decorating every year.

(Y/N)'s free hand slipped down to your balls where she cupped them and you felt yourself close to bursting. Your body tingled as she hummed around your cock. With her mouth and hands on you it felt like there was enough electricity coursing through your body that you could light up a million strand of Christmas lights at the moment. "(Y/N), I'm going to…" she didn't stop though just took your cock deeper until you swore you hit the back of her throat. It was that move, that pushed you over as you spilled your seed in her mouth. She swallowed as much as she could, though some dribbled out and you thought it was hot as hell.

That night would forever live in your mind, as you returned the favor by making her cum not once but twice under that same mistletoe. Even though, it was one of your favorite memories from that first Christmas. It wasn't that, that made Christmas your favorite season. It was the way that (Y/N) embraced the joy of the season in everything she did. Even the simplest things were a little brighter with her around. She made everyone around sparkle and shine just like tinsel on a Christmas tree. Not that she wasn't always that way, but there was just something special about (Y/N) and Christmas and thus it became your favorite time of year.

There had been no Christmas break that year in the NHL, meaning you had no time to head back home, so (Y/N) had invited you to her house to be with her family. They had welcomed you with open arms and you had found out, why she'd loved Christmas so much. Her family went all out, decorations were everywhere and presents were piled high. They'd included you in all their traditions, from frosting to cookies to playing Christmas charades. They even had you cut a piece of wheat for Baby Jesus's manager, as was their annual custom to do before opening presents Christmas morning. That first Christmas had set the tone for all those to follow after it.

As Christmas drew to a close that year, you knew one thing for sure. That you never wanted to spend another one without her. It was an easy decision to ask her to move in with you, once she graduated college, and right before that Christmas that year, the two of you bought your first place together. To commemorate the event, (Y/N) had a special ornament made in the shape of a key.

Hockey took precedence the following year, as you won the Stanley Cup and it seemed like the summer and fall flew by. One thing was for sure though, and that was that (Y/N) was with you every step of the way. You knew you had to make that Christmas extra special. It was the first time your family flew in for the holiday. (Y/N)'s family all came to your place as well that year. The house was filled with love and laughter and was about to get a little more exciting.

All the presents had been unwrapped and everyone was lounging in the great room. "I think there's one more present here," you pointed to a box you had hidden off in the corner. "Looks like it has your name on it, babe."

(Y/N) took the gift and looked at the tag. "It doesn't say who it's from."

"Well, that happens from time to time. You know Santa's elves are really busy this time of year," her mom chimed in, giving you a little wink. "Go ahead and open it."

She tore through the layer of paper to the box, then lifted the lid, which happened to reveal a smaller box. "Oh my god," she exclaimed, laughing as she took that wrapped package out and removed the paper again. Lifting the lid, she found yet another box. "You've got to be kidding me. Did you do this?" She was staring straight at you because she knew this was totally out of your character. All you could do was simply shrug. The unwrapping went on for another six layers until she finally revealed a small black velvet box. All your family gasped as she went to open it. Her eyes were fixated on the container, as she slowly pulled back the lid. The look of excitement on her face was almost too much for you, and then her face fell, exactly like you thought it would. "There's nothing in it." She whispered, her voice small as she lifted her eyes to you. You could feel her family and yours glaring at you for pulling a stunt like this. You decided now would be a good time to put everyone out of their misery.

Dropping down to one knee in front of her, you reached into your pocket and pulled out the extravagant ring that you'd had made for her. The gasp from everyone this time was probably heard down the street as they took in their first glimpse of the engagement ring. (Y/N) covered her mouth with her hands and you saw one lone tear slip down her cheek; a happy one, you hoped. "(Y/N), I was going to leave this in the last box, but then I couldn't. For your real present isn't this ring. It's me. That is if you'll have me." She was already shaking her head yes before you even had a chance to ask her the question. "I guess what I'm asking is if you'll spend every Christmas from now until the end of time with me?" Another tear slid down her cheek and this time you knew for sure it was a joyful one. "(Y/FN), will you be my wife?"

"Yes, Jon, yes!" She was down on the ground in your arms kissing you before you could blink. She almost tackled you to the carpet, but your hand reached out and steadied you both on the end table beside you. That's when you realized the ring popped out of your hand and had fallen somewhere amongst the pile of wrapping paper.

You broke from the kiss immediately. "Shit, I dropped the ring."

"I don't care. You're my present and apparently my future as well." She locked her lips with yours again. The two of you were so caught up in each other, you forgot about the rest of your family in the room; who had now gone on a search for the engagement ring.

"Found it," your mom said breathing a sigh of relief. You took it and slipped it on (Y/N)'s finger making it official. That Christmas was definitely one of the most memorable.

The following summer you married. Most people expected the two of you to have this big grand wedding, which would've taken another year or more to plan, but neither you nor (Y/N) wanted that. Instead, it was a quiet ceremony with just family and close friends, exactly what you wanted, as you couldn't wait for her to be your wife. That Christmas was your first as husband and wife, and there was more than one Mr. and Mrs. Toews ornament hanging off the tree.

Payback came your second Christmas as a married couple. There you were opening box after box. "Really babe? I would've expected this last year."

"Gotta keep you on your toes, Mr. Toews."

You unwrapped yet another box. "So is the Rolex we looked at a couple weeks ago in here?" She mimicked your shrug from two years ago. It had to be the watch, for the shrug was always (Y/N)'s go to move when she didn't want to tell you that you were right. Sure enough, as you peeled back the paper on the last package, there was the signature green box of the famous company. "Nice try babe, but I guess I outsmarted you this time." The hinge creaked as you opened the box, but you were shocked when there wasn't a watch inside, but a positive pregnancy test. "Are you…?"

Your eyes locked with hers and she was nodding her head. "Yes, yes we are." Your lips were on hers in an instant, as this time you were the one with tears in your eyes.

"I don't get the big deal over a watch." You heard your brother say in French in the background.

"They're having a baby you idiot," your dad told him, cuffing him upside the head.

Levi Abram Toews was born on July twenty-fifth of the following year, giving you a little bit of Christmas midway through the following year. His first Christmas was probably one of your favorites. At six months old, he was sitting up and just starting to crawl. (Y/N) had to move all the floor decorations up, because he started to chew on all the snowmen that he could grab. Levi's little eyes sparkled as he was mesmerized by all the twinkling lights and bulbs. You thought you couldn't love Christmas anymore, but seeing it through your son's eyes made the holiday even more joyous.

When 2013 Christmas rolled around it had you hanging another Stanley cup ornament on the tree as the Hawks had won yet another one. It seemed as though the moment (Y/N) stepped into your life all the pieces just fell into place. She truly was the angel on top of the tree.

You didn't think anything remarkable happened the Christmas of 2014 but by Valentine's day it became clear that your wife was pregnant again, and your new little one had to have been conceived on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. It too would always hold special meaning whenever you looked at your baby girl. Elizabeth or Lizzie as you liked to call her, joined your little family on September 25th, 2015. Making her the cherry on the cake to winning your third Stanley cup. Lizzie was daddy's girl and everyone knew it, even your wife. Of course, there were a few ornaments on the Christmas tree that year. One with Lizzie's picture in the cup, along with her first Christmas ornament, all got hung alongside the three Stanley Cup ornaments and Levi's bulb. Your tree was getting quite full.

As were your wife's hands apparently, as you could see (Y/N) getting more and more tired as Christmas 2016 rolled around. Oh, she was still her fun-loving and joyful self, but she also looked completely exhausted most days. She would dust off any concerns and tell you that was the price she paid for having two kids under the age of four. "Babe, why don't you come and sit down," you told her having just gotten back from your last road trip before Christmas, which was only three days away.

"I can't. I still need to finish wrapping the gifts, then I've got cookies to bake, and get the food prepped for Christmas Eve dinner."

"What can I do to help?" You asked rubbing her shoulders as she worked in the dining room wrapping the presents since the kids were finally in bad.

"You could…" She spun around to talk to you and that's when your heart fell out of your chest as she collapsed right into your arms. Your blood ran cold as you saw color draining from her face. Gently as you could, you laid her down on the floor, calling out her name. "(Y/N)…baby…(Y/N) please wake up." You ran and grabbed your bag knowing that you had smelling salts in there that the team used every now and then. Breaking it open, you wafted the scent over her nose, praying the whole time for her to wake back up. It took a bit, but eventually, she did rouse. "Oh thank god."

"What happened?"

"I was going to ask you. You just fainted in my arms." She made a move to get up but you could see that another bout of something had hit her again. "No just stay there. I'm calling the team doctor."

"Jon, don't. I'm sure I'm just tired. I'll be fine."

It was too late for her to try to change your mind as you already had the doctor dialed up. He asked a few questions, basically checking to see if she could be pregnant, but that wasn't an option as she'd just finished her period two days ago. He recommended that you head to the hospital and get (Y/N) checked out. It was a fight to get her there, especially so close to Christmas, but eventually, she gave in and once her parents came to watch the kids, the two of you were on your way.

You rushed into the emergency room, where (Y/N) went through a series of tests. You hadn't realized until that moment, when (Y/N) was laying in the hospital bed, that she'd lost some weight and seemed very fatigued. Your wife was always this strong and unmovable force, yet right then she looked so frail. Mentally, you kicked yourself for not noticing these things earlier. After hours of testing, the emergency room doctor came in to speak to you both. He told you that there was definitely something off in her blood work and that he wanted to admit her for further testing. (Y/N) put up a fight, not wanting to be in the hospital another minute. She insisted she had way too many things to do than just laying around waiting for them to tell her she would be fine.

"You're staying and that's final." She argued with you, but in the end, you won out again.

Thankfully, she was out of the hospital by Christmas Eve and when she came home, her parents and yours had most everything done so that it was a perfect Christmas for your children. It was two days after Christmas that you received the worst news of your life. (Y/N) had been diagnosed with stomach cancer. The doctor wasn't sure what stage it was in but wanted her for more testing before they would try and figure out treatment. It couldn't have come at a worse time, as you were just gearing up for a ten-day road trip.

"I'm not leaving you."

"Damnit Jon, you are going. You're the captain of the team and they need you," she shouted back to you. The two of you had been arguing since you put the kids in bed. Your parents were still there, they had decided to stay a little longer with (Y/N) being sick to help out with the kids and her parents were only minutes away, but none of that mattered.

"I'm also the captain of THIS team," you said pointing back and forth between the two of you. "And right now, that's more important."

"It's just some testing at this point. If there's anything more serious, you can be on the next plane back here." Her voice was quieter now, and you couldn't tell if she was just weak from cancer or tired of fighting, but you could see the determination in her eyes not to lose this battle. You needed her to keep that same look for whatever was to come and it was for that reason alone that you found yourself agreeing to go on the trip.

She was right, you were only a phone call away, and she could facetime you in on all her appointments, which she did. It was not the way you wanted to find out that her biopsy showed her having stage two stomach cancer and that her chance of survival was thirty-five percent.

You could see her crumbling on the screen, her mom and dad beside her for support, but it wasn't enough. You should've been there damnit. Why in the hell had you listened to her? You wanted to scream through the phone but couldn't; you needed to stay calm and be there for her. "Baby, look at me," you said in a gentle yet reassuring voice, and her tearstained eyes locked with yours. "We're going to beat this." She sniffled loudly, then straightened her back, that steely determination taking over.

"Of course, we will." What you didn't know, was that she cried the entire ride home in the backseat of her parents' car, or how she made her dad ride around the block several times before going inside to see your children. All the while, you were on the phone with the team doctor finding out everything you could to help your wife. The two of you found the best specialist in North America and had her records sent there. A week later, you were by (Y/N)'s side at UPMC Medical Center in Pittsburgh determining the best course of treatment.

She would do several rounds of pinpointed radiation to shrink the tumor before they would go in and remove it. It would all be followed up with some intense chemotherapy. The doctor told her she would more than likely lose her hair, and that it would make her extremely weak. They could set everything up to happen in Chicago so that she wouldn't have to leave your home.

The surgery, which took place in February and caused you to miss a few games, went very well. The two of you stayed in Pittsburgh five days before flying back on a private plane home to your children. Who didn't seem to understand why mommy couldn't pick them up and carry them around anymore. Your parents and (Y/N)'s were godsends, as (Y/N) insisted you go back to hockey. You hated being away from her, though with every day that past you could see her strength building up. That was until the chemotherapy started.

There were to be six to eight rounds of chemotherapy that (Y/N) was going to have to take. They would fall in four-week intervals. You were there the day she got her first one. It took over eight hours for her to receive the treatment through her port that the surgeon had put in. She seemed to take it really well or so you thought until you found her hunched over the toilet a couple days later throwing up. She tried to shake it off, act like it was nothing new, telling you it was just like being pregnant again, but you knew better. You could hear the tremble in her voice, see the tears she fought so hard to hold back, while you held back your own. You'd give anything to take this pain away from her, but you couldn't.

It wasn't until round three that her hair started falling out in clumps. She was sitting at the breakfast table, the kids at her parents when she brushed it back to pull it out of her face. Strands of hair covered her fingers, a look of horror covering her face. "It's ok baby, we knew this would happen."

She swallowed hard past the lump in her throat. "I just thought that I made it this far with it, that maybe they were wrong." You were at her side in a minute, holding her as she started to shake from head to toe.

"Let it out (Y/N). It's ok to be sad or mad or anything. I'm right here." It was the first time that she'd cried about it, at least in front of you.

"It's not fair Jon," she sobbed into your chest. "I want to be there to watch my kids grow up."

"And you will, mon amour. We're going to fight this every step of the way." She cried for a solid hour, as you held back tears of your own, telling her in a calming voice that she was going to beat this. All the while being scared as hell that she might not.

Later that day, you helped her shave every strand of hair from her head. It was the hardest thing you'd had to do in your life. You'd rather take a ninety mile an hour puck to your face then to see your wife this broken and defeated. In the end, she took a deep breath as she looked herself in the mirror, eyes still glassy from tears. "You will not beat me," she told her reflection, then looked at your reflection. "I will fight this with every breath I have." Your lip trembled as you fought back the river of tears that threatened to spill over at her strength. Your wife was a fighter, and you knew she would conquer this disease and you'd be beside her every step of the way.

That summer you spent every available second with (Y/N) and the kids. Treatments became a normal part of your routine. The problem was with everyone, you saw your wife getting weaker and weaker. She was practically skin and bones, even though she would force herself to eat. When she took her final round of chemotherapy in October, you breathed a sigh of relief. The doctors said they wouldn't know if the chemo had worked for a few weeks and so you waited. Praying every night that her cancer was gone once and for all, and your wife would no longer have to suffer.

A month later, you were back in Pittsburgh, sitting in front of the doctor who held your entire fate in his hands. "I'm afraid it's not good news," he started to say, and your face drained, while (Y/N) gripped your hand tightly. "The chemotherapy hasn't responded as we'd like." Everything he said after that was a garbled mess. Your mind clouded over and there was a loud ringing in your ears. You wanted to grab this man by the throat and tell him to make your wife better. That was his job, wasn't it? He was supposed to heal people, and damn it he should've done that for (Y/N). "I'm not giving up hope yet." It was those words that finally drug you out of the blinding rage that was coursing through your veins. He proceeded to say that there was an experimental drug and that they had no way of knowing if it would work, but it might be something the two of you would be interested in trying. He handed you a bunch of paperwork to go home and read before making any decisions.

"I think you should take it," you told her the minute you got in the car.

"Maybe we should read what he gave us first."

"It doesn't matter what that says (Y/N) if it means that you get to stay here with me and the kids; I think we should do it."

"It's not a 'we' Jon. It's me who has to do this. What if it has some long-term effects or…" she started to list scenarios, that meant nothing to you.

"The only long-term thing here is that you're dead. Do you want that? Because I don't." You were yelling at her, and you didn't want to, but couldn't she see that this drug was your only option. "I need you (Y/N). The kids need you." This time you couldn't hold back the tears as they started to fall hard and fast down your cheeks. "Damn it, I love you and I'm not willing to lose you. Do you understand me?"

You could barely see her swallow hard as tears flooded your vision, and while you knew you needed to be strong for her; you were finally breaking. "Ok," she whispered softly, and you grabbed her holding her to your body as close as you could with the console in the middle of the car. "I'll do it."

"You will?" you mumbled into the crook of her neck. You could feel the dampness of her shirt from your tears but all that mattered was that she agreed to take the treatment.

"Yes," she answered pulling you back so she could look in your eyes. "I'd do anything for you, my love." You kissed her then pouring every ounce of love you had for her into it.

The following day, after reading through all the paperwork, (Y/N) called the doctor and got set up to take the new drug. Once you were back in Chicago, she started treatments right away. The drug was aggressive, even more so than her first round of chemotherapy and within two weeks she wound up in the hospital, her immune system so compromised that you had to suit up in a gown and mask every time you went to see her. The kids weren't allowed in, which killed her, but you had them facetime her every day.

As Christmas grew near your spirits were low. (Y/N) insisted that you put up all the decorations just as you had every year. She ordered the kids' gifts online so that they wouldn't miss out on a single thing. Her only term for taking the new treatment was that you continue to play hockey. Her parents stepped up and watched the kids while you were away. You were just returning home from a road trip, about a week before Christmas when you stopped in at the hospital to see (Y/N) before heading home. When you walked into her room, you barely recognized her. Her frail form looked almost lifeless as she lay in the hospital bed, so much so that you had to check the rise and fall of her chest to make sure she was still breathing. Thankfully she was.

"Salut mon amour," you said in a soft gentle voice, wanting her to know that you were there but at the same time not wanting to wake her if she was asleep. She turned her head to the side to see you, a weak smile gracing her chapped lips.

A scratchy "hi," was all she was able to muster back. You took your gloved hand and held hers in it. God, what you wouldn't give to just touch her skin and feel her once again. But since you couldn't, you stroked your thumb back and forth over her palm, hoping that she could somehow draw from your strength.

"How are you feeling today?"

The smile dropped, and so did your heart. "I don't think this is working Jon." It was too soon to tell. Even the doctors had said that. She just needed to hang on, give the drug more time to work. "I think we need to start preparing for the worst." Her hand squeezed yours, whether it was for support or to support you, you weren't sure.

"No, baby, I'm not ready for you to give up yet."

"I know Jon, and I'm fighting I really am. But it's just so hard...Hard to breathe…Hard to move. I don't feel like me anymore." A tear slipped out and though you had a glove on your hand, you reached up and wiped it away.

"You've just gotta fight (Y/N). You've got to do it for Levi, and Lizzie, and god baby please do it for me." You were begging now, both her and god. You couldn't lose her, you weren't ready to live your life without her yet.

"I will my love…..but Jon, there may come a day when I can't fight anymore and I need you to support me on that." You knew what she was talking about, that if the doctors wanted to put her on a ventilator, she didn't want that. Though if it could save her…you weren't sure you could follow her wishes.

You nodded your head not willing to put in words something you couldn't promise just yet. You stayed there with her for a while; until she basically kicked you and told you to go home and get some sleep. The moment you walked in the door of your house, you screamed in anger. There were all the decorations that (Y/N) made you hang with the kids and you hated every one of them. They were torturous reminders that your wife wasn't there this Christmas, that she couldn't be with you and the kids. You grabbed the strand of garland that hung on the archway into the living room and ripped it down, throwing the ball of mistletoe across the room. It felt good, and so you tore down some more, just letting all your anger and frustrations out. It was a side of you that hardly ever came out even on the ice. Oh, you'd definitely dropped the gloves a time or two but only when someone really deserved it. Only now there was no one to fight. It was a disease and you couldn't throw it up against the boards or punch it in the jaw. So instead, you took it out on the decorations. Every wreath that hung on the wall you ripped it apart with your bare hands. Every Santa figurine that sat on the table, you smashed against the floor. You were just about the tear the stockings off the fireplace when you stopped. It was seeing your wife's name knitted into the fabric that got you and instead you carefully took it off the hook and brought it to your face as if it were her and you could simply hold her that close once again.

"Please (Y/N), please don't leave me," you called out to the void that was your house, as you dropped to your knees, tears freely flowing down your face. It was all too much. You'd finally reached that breaking point and just laid on the flooring sobbing and praying to God to save your wife. It was the only Christmas wish you had. Sure, you'd prayed when you were younger asking god to make you a better hockey player and then that you would be drafted in the NHL, but never in your life had you wanted anything like you wanted this, for your wife to be fine, for her to live a happy healthy life with you and your children. You'd trade everything you had if you could.

At some point, you picked yourself up and looked at the disaster that you'd made in what was once a storybook Christmas home. (Y/N) would be so disappointed in what you had done, not to the house, but to the mess that your kids would walk into when they would come home. You cleaned up the broken shards of glass, restrung the garland, and tried to salvage what you could of the other decorations you'd destroyed yet somehow the house still seemed to be missing something. There were tons of extra decorations in the closet, as your wife seemed to always buy more and more every year, well you couldn't really blame (Y/N) as you tended to help as well. So, you dragged yourself upstairs to see what else might try and make the place a bit more festive.

It was in rummaging through the closet that you stumbled upon it. It was a simple container, not very big with the word "Love," written in script on the top. You peered inside and were stunned to find dozens of envelopes, each marked with either yours or your children's name on them. It was then that you realized they were goodbye letters from your wife, as some were addressed to Levi and Lizzie on their eighteenth birthdays or their graduations. There was even one for each of them on their wedding day. A gasp left your mouth at the realization that she didn't plan on being around for any of these occasions. You weren't sure what hurt more, the fact that she was giving up or that you'd be facing a life without her.

All that anger and hurt from moments ago came surfacing back and you had the urge to punch your fist through the wall this time, though you fought it for the sake of your kids. Flipping through the envelopes you saw different ones with your name on them. You picked up the one that was on top of the pile marked 'To Jon on Christmas Eve.' It was heavier than what you thought and you realized that it wasn't a letter but a video. Taking the box, you headed downstairs to see what your wife had to say.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew you shouldn't be watching this, as you hit the play button on the remote control, yet you couldn't stop yourself. Maybe there would be something on here that could help you convince her to fight harder. It took a second for (Y/N) to come on the screen. She looked weak, yet still as beautiful as ever as she sat in the chair up in your bedroom. Her wig was on, probably in hopes that you'd remember her like she once was and not the sickly cancer patient she feared everyone saw.

"Bonjour, mon amour." God, you loved how she spoke French to you. She'd been so earnest in her studies those early days and now was rather good at it. "I'm not sure where to start with this. I want you to know that this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I hope that you're watching this after the kids' are in bed and you've put all the presents under the tree. God, how I'll miss doing that with you, but I know that you will make this Christmas and every one after special for our two little angels. They are so lucky to have a dad like you, just like I was so lucky to have you as my husband." Tears were streaming down (Y/N)'s face as she spoke to you on the screen, just as they were flooding your eyes.

"I love you so much," she swallowed hard, the movement visible as her body was frail. "Even more than I love Christmas." It was a small attempt at humor on her part, and you wish that you could smile at it, but at the moment all you had were tears of sadness. "Remember that first Christmas when we bought the tree topper together. You told me then that I was your angel. Well, now I truly am. I hope that when you place her on top of the tree, you'll know that I'm smiling down at you and our babies." Your eyes automatically went to the angel on the tree. Her soft smiling eyes shining right into yours. A sob broke from you then, as you realized how much the angel looked like your wife. She had the same eyes, the same hair, and the same soft easy smile that melted your heart.

"I'm going to miss this time of year with you; the laughter, the joy, the mistletoe. It was always my favorite season with you, though you made everyday special." You knew how she felt, for you had a feeling you'd miss her most at Christmas time. "Jon, I'd give anything to be with you right now. Just know that if I had to do it all again, I would. I'd go through every treatment, every needle, every single bit of it, if it meant one more Christmas with you…hell, even if it was one more day with you." She wiped away the tears then, visibly collecting herself to continue on with what she had to say.

"But I want you to be happy, Jon. I want you to love again. I want you to find joy in not only Christmas but every day, even if I'm not there. And I can see you sitting there, shaking your head and telling me it's not going to happen, and maybe it won't tomorrow or the next day, but I hope it does someday. I love you too much to not want you to love again. Be happy, you deserve it." You weren't sure how she could ask this of you, there was no way that it would ever happen if she wasn't in your life.

"Bumping into you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You were the best thing to happen to me, Jonathan Toews and for that I thank you. I couldn't have asked for a better friend, husband, or father. You will always be the love of my life...and what a life we had." There was still more of it to be had, you just knew there had to be. "I love you, Jon. Merry Christmas, my love." It took another second and then the screen went blank.

"I love you, (Y/N)," you whispered up the angel smiling down at you. Tears clouded your vision until all the lights just seemed to melt into one giant one. This was not how things were meant to end. You laid your head back against the sofa and closed your eyes and just prayed. Even though you'd just done that hours ago, you asked God to do the impossible, to give you a Christmas miracle.

At some point, you must have fallen asleep, for you woke up sometime later to a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Jon, sweetie, wake up, my love." You could swear that was your wife's voice. It took your eyes a minute to regain focus, but it was your wife standing over you, in Christmas pajamas, her hair tied back in a ponytail. Her hair, you thought vaguely, not some wig because she'd lost all hers, and she looked healthy, strong in fact.

"You're here? You're ok," you said jumping up and running your hands down her arms.

Her smile told you then that it hadn't been a dream like you thought, and you looked over to the screen on the tv, to see the Christmas message she'd sent you back up on the screen. "You were watching it again, weren't you?" she asked.

You had to shake yourself to get the cobwebs out of your brain. It was six years ago that you found the video, though you've replayed it every year since. That first time watching it you'd wanted to run to the hospital and shake some sense into your wife, but something stopped you. Maybe deep down you knew she had never truly given up, for she had called you Christmas Eve saying that she was feeling much better. The kids had gotten to see her on Christmas day, though there were still precautions taken. It was a week later that she was home and with you as her strength continually improved. She grew stronger every day after that as well. It was months later that her cancer was declared gone by the doctors, the new treatment having saved her life and yours in the process. She was a survivor and you thanked God every day for giving you that miracle you'd asked for so long ago. "I still don't know how you found them," she said to you. "Or why you continue to watch that video every year."

"I watch it because it reminds me of how close I was to losing you." Your arms encircled her waist now, drawing her closer to you. "And how magical the Christmas season is as it brought you back to me." You gazed into her loving eyes, yours shining with that same love you saw in hers. "And to hold you a little tighter each day." You did exactly as you said, squeezing her so that no space was between either of you, before dropping a kiss to her lips.

"I'm not sure it was the Christmas season that helped me find the strength to fight. I'm pretty sure it was you, Mr. Toews." Her lips found yours in a soul-stealing kiss, as she poured all her love for you into it.

You maneuvered the two of you under the archway where the sprig of mistletoe always hung. "Well, Mrs. Toews, Christmas will always be my favorite time of year, though I treasure every day with you. Joyeux Noel, mon amour."

"Merry Christmas, Jon."

#jonathan toews imagine #jonathan toews fanfic #Jonathan Toews #Jonathan toews imagines #nhl fanfic #nhl smut #nhl imagines #Chicago blackhawks imagine

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waywardfangirl · 4 years ago

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I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean.

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

“What?”

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

"Save me from what, exactly?"

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

"This!"

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

"Like what?"

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

"But, couldn't they-"

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit.

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

"Simon. I'm Simon."

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."

#my fic #snowbaz #Down By The Sea #Secret Snowflake 2020 #fluff and silliness 😊

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veenussposts · 5 years ago

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Yukhei as a wizard (and your boyfriend)

If something broke in the castle or the teachers ran to a specific place it was only for a reason, Wong Yukhei.

He was the mastermind behind almost every joke in the castle as well as being the cause of the headache of all the Ravenclaw students. The tall Gryffindor was truly a mess and he hit anyone's nerves with his wild ideas.

And you weren't the exception, you were the Ravenclaw student who suffered the most since you were his tutor.

"What's the answer, Yukhei?"

"Merlin's ass"

"I'm going to curse you I swear..."

He loved to tease you. He loved to see your frown and your nose wrinkle when he answered your questions wrong. He loved hearing you scream when he hid your things away from you or when he threatened to fold the pages of your books if you didn't finish explaining a spell to him quickly.

Basically you two were like cats and dogs.

But as the years passed, new students came to the castle, and new challenges arose, Yukhei learned to love more things about you, things he never would have thought of.

From the fourth year on, your smiles left a warm sensation on his body, your attention became addictive and the way you jumped to retrieve the books he put on his head only caused him tenderness.

By the time fifth year came, Yukhei had such a huge crush on you.

HE WAS WHIPPED.

Every time your hand brushed his when you explained a complicated spell to him, his heart raced like the first time he flew on his broomstick. Next to you he became more funny and said more stupid things than normal, but not because he wanted to tease you but because he was nervous. Your fierce gaze made him shiver, and despite your low height, when you were angry Yukhei felt intimidated.

In the sixth year he tried for the first time to confess his feelings for you, which resulted in a monumental failure.

"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?"

"I can't even fall asleep"

After that Yukhei lost hope and preferred to stop insisting but the reality was completely different.

"WHY YOU SAID THAT TO HIM?"

"I PANICKED BECAUSE HE WAS SO CLOSE YOU CAN'T BLAME ME"

You were whipped for him too, really really whipped.

Your brain stopped working when his big hands grabbed your waist, your heart beat fast when he stared at you during your private lessons and your hands trembled like jelly when his face got too close to yours.

Things continued that way until winter came to reveal your hidden feelings during all these years.

Your bones were beginning to freeze little by little and your entire neck to your nose were hidden in the heat of the great scarf that your father gave you. Outside the corridors, inside the garden, small snowflakes fell decorating everything in white while some students ran quickly to take refuge from the cold. But you couldn't run because you were carrying a giant pile of books in your hands, you could hardly see your feet and where they were moving.

"You look like a Niffler"

When you heard that voice you stopped walking and slowly turned on your heels to meet Yukhei.

"You look cute, really cute"

The heat began to rise up your cheeks and they quickly turned red, in your mind you prayed that he wouldn't notice.

"What do you want Wong? I'm busy"

"I see" His hands moved to yours and took each and every one of the books that were in them. When your hands brushed his you could feel their warmth and for a second you wanted him not to move away. "That's why I want to help you"

Now with no books to block your view, you looked at him. His hair was perfectly combed back, his cheeks and neck a little red from the cold while his legs trembled a little.

"Why are you so careless? Why don't you have a scarf or gloves?" You said as you unwrap your blue scarf from your neck.

"I only saw you through the window and I came to help you"

"You're going to catch a cold for acting without thinking" You stood on tiptoe and quickly wrapped the scarf around his neck while you looked at him, he had a smile from ear to ear.

"Are you worried about me?" Yukhei said with a smirk.

"Me? Worried about you? In your dreams Wong"

"Yes, you're worried about me"

"No, I'm not"

"Yes, you're"

"No"

"Yes"

"No"

"Ye..." You rolled your eyes and gripped the corners of the scarf tight to draw him toward you. Your lips collided with his, surprising him. The kiss was so quick and explosive that Yukhei didn't have time to close his eyes, he just stood there.

"You can't keep quiet, right?" You finished wrapping the scarf around his neck, covering his mouth with it. Before you walked away you gave him a kiss on his cold nose. "Now let's go inside before you get sick, baby"

"You called me baby..." He said smiling, remembering the feeling of your lips on his. "Hey! Wait for me! You can't kiss me and go!"

He's happy as long as he's with you.

"The happiest I've ever felt was that moment I discovered you loved me too"

A BIG PUPPY IN LOVE.

He gives you piggy back rides.

Once a group of new students thought you were from Gryffindor because you were wearing a Yukhei's big sweater with a lion in the middle.

As much as you don't want to, Yukhei always drags you with him when he is going to do something crazy.

"There is a 99.12% chance of getting hurt"

"I guess we just have to be the 0.88%"

"That's not how..."

"Too late baby"

He uses your head as an arm rest.

Every time he has a chance he buys you chocolate frogs because he knows you love them.

Sometimes you guys argue because Yukhei behaves like a child or because you don't pay attention to him but both of you can't be without each other so you both leave your pride aside to apologize.

Respects you more than anyone else and he will stand up to anyone in order to defend you, even his friends.

He tells everyone that you're his boyfriend.

Yukhei loves the way your little hand fits into his and you love to hear his heartbeat every time you hug him.

He can't hold himself when he wants to kiss you.

Says "I love you" more than "hello".

"No matter how much I say I love you, I always love you more than that"

#kpop #kpop fluff #kpop imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop x male reader #kpop x you #kpop x reader #nct #nct x male reader #nct lucas #wayv #wayv x male reader #wayv lucas #wong yukhei

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vagabond-sol · 5 years ago

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Innocent or Guilty: Cazhim

Asked someone to marry you?

"Hah? A romantic are you? Well, No. I can't say that I have. My partner knows how I feel with or without a ring. Though If we ever retire...perhaps." Cazhim appears tickled by your question though his expression grows more thoughtful towards the end.

Kissed one of your friends?

"Yea. Several years back during the early years of my adventuring I had a different partner. A Miqo'te girl. After a while she said she wanted to sort some things out and being young and confused myself, I agreed. We got as far as a kiss but agreed that more wasn’t for us. We still talk but I'm pretty sure she's takin more of a liking to Viera women." Cazhim smiles and shakes his head. Clearly the two have quite a history.

Danced on a table in a bar or tavern?

"I prefer to watch the entertainment rather than be it. Besides those tables are for food not feet." Cazhim folds his arms as he gives his answer. Perhaps his meal has been the victim of a misplaced dance step or two? Might be best not to ask.

Ever told a lie?

"Of course. Though I find it easier to omit the truth rather than come up with a lie. Keep em’ guessing. That's fun for all involved." He said, leaning forward in his chair as a rather mischievous grin crept across his face.

Had feelings for someone you can't have?

Cazhim tilted his head in minor confusion "No. Though I don't get all that romantic easily anyway."

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

"Oh! I suppose I was not clear earlier. Xavier is my partner in combat but we are dating as well. We have been together for some time now so I can safely say we are both guilty of that. Cazhim readily replies. His smile a touch warmer than before. He seems pleased to speak more about his partner.

Kissed a picture?

"I have. Sometimes our tasks or...circumstances can keep Xavier and I apart. It helps." Cazhim answers, looking down at his hands for a moment. Clearly these circumstances he mentioned were less than pleasant. Maybe another question to lighten the mood?

Slept until 5pm?

"Hah. Never. Need to make the most of the daylight while we can right? Besides, I need to be awake to put together a proper meal for a certain scholar when he overworks himself again." He responds with his usual simper and calm tone. His mood seems to have improved a touch.

Worked at a restaurant?

"Yea...once." He chuckled, internally deciding how much to explain. "Lets just say that Momodi is a very kind woman and was nice enough to let me pay a debt with work rather than gil."

Stolen Something?

As Cazhim takes a sip of the tea he prepared he simply points at the spherical Allagan droid floating by from time to time. "Does that count? I mean they weren't using it."

Been fired from a job?

"Nope. Though I'm sure I've gotten close once or twice at the Leatherworking Guild." He replies, looking off in to space as if remembering no small amount of close calls he may or may not have had.

Done something you regret?

"Just once and I intend to keep it that way." His gaze meets yours and lingers. You know better than to push for more details.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?

Cazhim almost chokes on the tea he was drinking at the time as he hears the question. "N-no. Don't worry about it."

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

"I have but I don't think I get the appeal. Its much more fun to just eat a handful, right?" He replied, obviously looking for validation.

Sat on a roof top?

"Often! Though the climb is the more interesting part...most of the time. There's almost always a fantastic view at the top as well! I think I have a few sketched here..." Cazhim begins pulling out a journal filled with notes and half-decent sketches of various places he's been. He seems eager to share.

Kissed someone you shouldn't have?

"...I believe we've covered this territory, my friend." He gives a slight nod with his answer but nothing more.

Sang in the shower?

"More of the humming type myself." he says with a smirk on his face.

Been pushed into a body of water?

"Many have tried....Many have failed." He answers as he relaxes back into his chair. His grin grows wider as he remembers past conquests.

Shaved your head?

"Gods no! I don't even want to think about it." Cazhim quickly responds, briefly running a hand through his short but well kept hair.

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry?

"I hope not, but I imagine if I ever shave my head I just might. Bleh!" It is clear both this question and the last are incredibly displeasing to him. Perhaps a new topic?

Shot a gun?

"Oh ho yes! Let me show you something." Cazhim stands up and excitedly leads you to a side room filled with boxes of tools, raw materials and a desk cluttered with a variety of design documents. "I dabble in the Machinist trade. I much prefer spit balling designs with the Boss back at Skysteel but every experiment needs a test phase! You should stop by the factory. The Boss always likes seeing new faces."

Still loved someone you shouldn't?

"No, but I can't say I've loved that many people. Especially not romantically." He seems more caught up in reorganizing his workshop then this particular question.

Have a tattoo?

"Not my thing. Clashes with my scales. I've seen some pretty cool ones on the other monks around though. Maybe I could engrave my revolver with one..." His focus is barely there. Perhaps it would be best to relocate.

Liked someone, but will never tell?

"Eh, life's too short for that. Might as well take your shot while you can. Worry too much and you're likely to make yourself sick with regret" He replies over his shoulder as he leads you back to the living room.

Been too honest?

"Honesty has never been an issue. As I said omission is a powerful tool." His mischievous smile returns along with his focus on your questions.

Ruined a surprise?

"Can't say that I have, luckily."

Been told you were beautiful by someone who totally meant it?

"A few times. It's nice to hear...even if its almost always out of the blue nowadays. Xavier tends to do that." He says with a warm smile on his face.

Stalked someone?

"Eh yea actually. A friend of mine had a hunch about one of our clients. Thought they weren't giving us all of the details. She was most certainly right. Luckily we sorted everything out."

Thought about murder?

"I assume you're referring to something more scandalous than what goes on in battle. If so: No. I've kept very few loose ends that need that kind of...attention." His tone makes it clear he is not pleased by this sort of question.

How about mass murder?

Cazhim stares at you for a moment before replying "I see no circumstance where I would need to."

Cheated on someone.

"No" he says almost before you finish speaking. He quickly downs his tea before standing to make more.

Gotten so angry that you cried?

"Yes, my friends are talented, dedicated and not afraid to risk life and limb at the drop of a hat. However; that doesn't always mean things will go their way. Sometimes it gets the in trouble. The sort of trouble I can't pull them back from..." He says while prepping a kettle. He does not turn to face you but you can tell a bad memory is on his mind.

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

"No. Only for my own good. Briefly." He says before placing another cup before you. He does not seem inclined to elaborate.

Thoughts about suicide?

Cazhim simply begins sipping from his own cup. A moment passes before waving a dismissive hand in your direction. Your question goes unanswered.

Had a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Cazhim scoffs but not with ill intent. "How about I say this instead. Yes, Xavier is the only person I've ever dated. Everything before has been more...temporary."

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday?

"I'm not much of a drinker. A spiked lemonade or a sip of spiced wine at most but that's mostly just for others who may get the wrong impression if I don't eat or drink at all."

Whoa! Okay well that was loooong but fun! Helps me flesh out Caz's personality. I hope who ever decides to read this has fun and if you really like it then why not try it yourself? Thanks for tagging me: @windup-scholar Stop by their blog to see even better OC stuff. From Art to asks like this one. See ya.

#FFXIV rp #ffxiv #Cazhim Delrune #Cazhim #long ask #long read #oc #roleplay #oc asks #ffxiv shadowbringers #updated

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yeet-wolf-in-the-stars · 5 years ago

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Hey. I'm really sorry for it. I mean... I'm practically crying because it's my first ask and I've ruined it. And now I'm rewriting it because Tumblr deleted it.

Drarry. In their relationships Harry is top when they start dating. Draco was raised in a very conservative surroundings and he clearly doesn't know what to do because it's his first relationships. (Let's forget about Draco hating himself for being gay because clearly I don't want any angst here) Harry on the other hand has a little experience and he actually saw some queer couples in the muggle world. At first Draco is very nervous because he knows nothing about being somebody's partner and actually he sometimes starts saying bad things about himself but slowly he actually becomes more and more confident. After some time of dating they start to change the positions

Sorry I don't ship scorbus (((

Remus is top. I just see him as a person who is kinda quite with other people but more open with his close friends. When they start dating both of them are questioning themselves "Am I good enough for him?" When they deal with this problem they actually become extremely happy. Actually, wolfstar change after they start dating. Moony becomes more self-confident and his self-esteem stabilize. On the other hand, Pads becomes softer and pays more attention to others. Actually, Sirius doesn't want to be the top because he enjoys Remus in that position because it actually kills him

Some fluff! I hope it'll be okay!

"Merlin, what happened?" asked Remus struggling with opening his eyes. As he realised, he was lying on a bench near the castle. Moony squinted because of the snowflakes as they were melting on his face.

"Oh thanks God you're okay" said Peter. He helped Remus to sit down. Actually, the last thing he remembered was somebody's scream: "Watch out!" And than he passed out.

"Moony my favourite fluffy wolfy. One stupid first-year threw the ice instead of a snowball and you were hit by it. How do you feel, Remme? Should we take you to the Hospital wing?" Sirius sounded very worriedly as if Lupin was dying but the thought that Sirius cared so much about him made his heart started shaking. Remus froze when this boy have him a kiss on the forehead and put his arm around werewolfs' shoulders.

It was unexpected for both of them.

Moony has never thought that Sirius would do it. Padfoot just did it automatically because he wanted to do at least something to get a little bit closer to his best friend.

All the people who were there started staring at them. Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were doing something and it was going to turn into a big rumor of Hogwarts. They were actually looking at each others eyes barely blinking. Their cheeks were red but they were frozen.

Nobody knows who moved arms first but their fingers touched and crossed slowly. Both of them were terrified and at the same time thrilled. Non of them thought that they were loved back.

"I'm going to offer something stupid" said Sirius softly grabbing his arm

"You're always doing it but I guess I know what you're talking about"

In a second they both disappeared somewhere on the territory.

They came back to the common room after the midnight with big happy grins on their faces

#hogwarts #sirius black #marauders era #remus lupin #remus x sirius #wolfstar #drarry #wolfstar headcanon #drarry headcanon #fanfiction #i guess it's fanfic #fluff

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wonderlandmind4 · 6 years ago

Text

Delicate Stages Chp 50

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Summary: Bucky Barnes agrees to participate in Deprogramming Sessions. What he gets is not anything like he expected.

Warnings: Language. Blood. Aftermath. Hospitals. Trauma. Some fluff, some angst. I’m sorry.

Words: 8k+ @justreadingfics @nerdyandproud9

A scorching hot sensation pulls Bucky back from the darkness of his mind. His eyes snap open. An excruciating amount of pain ignites his left side, so horrible, he dazedly wonders if it's truly happening. He grits his teeth, slowly turning his head to peer at his left arm.

A flash of bright crimson against pure white snow stabs through his mind as he stares at nothing. His entire arm is gone; just a broken, shredded stump of what remains. The frays glow orange and red, radiating through every nerve, down to his bones. He wants to rip it off, wants to claw away the rest of his shoulder but he can't. It's stuck, burning and attached to his body. His chest hurts. His stomach churns dangerously. A thought abruptly occurs to him.

Ana. Where is Ana?

Once Bucky swallows the bile rising up his throat, he slowly shifts from his back to his right side. He squints, a brilliant light stands next to him, in the form of Ana. Gold light. Bright. Powerful. Glowing. She’s glowing. Every inch of her skin emits golden bluish rays. It burns brighter in her hands, a solid beam of energy shooting from her palms.

Heated air surrounds them, sizzles and crackles, snapping vigorously. Bucky blinks away his blurry vision, inhales slowly through his nose, exhales through his mouth. He tries to regain his senses, other than feeling agony radiating from his shoulder.

Through the bars of the railing from the platform, he spots the place where Erik Woods once stood, encased in the same light coming from Ana. Woods is now on the ground, motionless, appears lifeless. With an abrupt realization, Bucky knows what is happening. Ana is draining Erik's life force from his body; she doesn’t seem to realizes what she’s doing. Her body is stiff, her muscles rigid, her face set with in goal in mind. Her eyes glitter gold. There’s no end in sight.

The illuminating glow is fading away from the bottom of her ankles, slowly crawling up her legs. Bucky immediately guesses what the diminishing light entails, and he can’t - it can’t be- he can’t lose Ana. He can’t allow her to finish killing Woods- draining his life- and he can’t allow her to do it by accidentally killing herself. Bucky reaches out, his arm shaking violently from his own trauma.

The closest part of her he can touch is her calf, his fingers gently grazing over her jeans. He can’t hold his arm up anymore, though it was enough to cease all power, the light cut off. Ana sways for a split second before she crumples to the ground like a puppet cut from strings.

Terror seizes Bucky’s heart. Ana’s skin is stark white, her eyes closed. She isn’t moving. Doesn’t even looks like she’s breathing. Two thick streams of blood escape from her nose, running down her face, the side of her cheek. No. No, no no no, this can’t be happening. She can’t be-

With one more ounce of strength, ignoring every single inch of him on fire, Bucky lifts his hand. His fingers caress her pale lips, trembling against her split lip. Ana cracks her eyes open, just two narrow slits, staring nearly lifeless at him.

"Stay with me.” He pleads desperately as his voice breaks.

Her eyes fall shut.

No. No! This can’t be real. This can’t be happening. The brightest thing in his dark world, the love of his life, can not be taken away from him. His hand is slowly being covered in her blood as he continues to trace her face, trying to wipe away the blood. Her skin is ice cold. He moves his fingers to her neck, dark bruises in the shape of fingers mar her delicate skin. Bucky doesn't feel a pulse. He doesn’t hear her heartbeat.

He doesn't realize he is screaming until something heavy grips his shoulder.

"Barnes! Bucky! Let me take her! I have to take her!"

Suddenly Ana is being lifted into red metallic arms before it takes off. Bucky follows the jets with his watery eyes, finally putting it together. Iron Man is flying Ana up to the jet. It's enough motivation to push himself up, just as someone else lands next to him. He doesn't pay any attention to them, just attempts to stand on unsteady feet, ignoring the waves of nausea crashing over him. It's not from physical pain.

"Shit, man. Let's get you up there."

The familiar voice makes Bucky finally look at the person. Sam holds his arm out, raising his eyebrows expectantly. Bucky relents gratefully, tightly grabs onto Sam's forearm. Then they're shooting up into the air, it only taking several seconds to reach the jet. Once inside, Bucky stumbles to where Agent Hill points at. He ignores every warning, every person trying to hold him back as he makes his way to the medical table where Ana lays.

Two medical personal surround her, quickly working to help. Bucky barely makes it to Ana's side, his fingers brushing over her cold knuckles, before his world goes black once more.

***

Silence stretches on for days.

The days are long, the nights longer. Tension fills the muted air, heavy, cold. Hovers over the floor, between spaces, attaches to the ceiling, lingers in windows like droplets of despair. On the final day of absolute silence, it begins to break. The wind weaves between the trees of the forest; it isn't the only sound that shatters the quiet. The dry leaves on the ground rustle. The second hand in a clock ticks. The nervous tapping spells out a rhythm. The soft thud of a rubber sole against tile. The soft beeps of a machine echo hauntingly through a room. The shuffle of movement in the distance. A hiss of fabric. A faint inhale. A low exhale.

Something begins to feel heavy, weighed down. Something begins to itch; sticky, crawling sensations. Something akin to ice begins to settle. Something like the rush of waves begin to gain clarity. Something begins to feel soft, repeated slow movements. Something flutters against a surface.

Lashes stick together. Eyes slowly open. Bright light nearly burns the retinas. A reflexive wince. A dry lump is swallowed. Stiff fingers twitch against cotton. Dull aches throb from different places. A deep inhale causes bones to protest. Pain erupts from a lower source, muscles spasm trying to accommodate injury. A tongue appears to wet dry lips.

Ana fully opens her eyes. She stares at lights that are too bright on the ceiling. Her eyes shift around what she can see of her surroundings. It isn't much, she doesn't think she can move her body yet. Everything hurts. Everything aches. A deep exhaustion is laced within her bone marrow and Ana thinks maybe she could just close her eyes and sleep forever. She doesn't, because she's utterly confused.

The last thing she can remember, when she racks through her muddled brain, is a being shielded by something. Something that protected her from a direct hit of...what? A direct hit of what? Who stopped whatever it was? Who protected her by putting their own life in harms way? Was it their own life they risked, or did Ana make that up in her mind? She can't recall.

She allows her eyes to flutter shut again, attempting to recall what had happened. She remembers light. Bright, bluish gold light. She sees a flash of sliver, gleaming as it thrust in front of her. She sees a chaotic whirl of colors. She sees the black of the ground her face was pressed to. She sees someone stagger as they try to right themselves. She sees what the flash of silver was, suddenly gone, seared with glowing embers. She sees agony on a stunned face. She sees Bucky fall to the ground.

Bucky. It was all Bucky.

A sharp gasp of air coincides with her eyes opening. She forces herself to look to her right, the space is empty. She slowly turns her head to the left. There, with his head pillowed on his arm, is Bucky. There's a slight furrow to his brow, as if he is deciphering whether he heard her gasp or not. He picks his head up a little, eyelids blinking slowly like he just woke up. It takes a moment, but clarity brightens his blue eyes.

"Oh my god." He breathes, relief sagging his body. "Ana."

He has dark bags under his eyes. His skin looks pale, clammy. His red lips are raw and bitten, trembling just slightly. His hair is messy, strands sticking out oddly. It's as if he kept pulling at the roots from stress. He looks every bit of beautiful as Ana always thought he did.

"Hi…Snowflake." Ana murmurs, voice raspy, her lips twitching with a smile.

Bucky chuckles wetly through his nose. "Hi, doll face."

He dips down to press a gentle kiss to her left shoulder. She hadn't noticed her arm is in a sling. When she looks back up from the sling, Bucky has his face pressed into the bed. Ana wants to move her hands, but her left is currently confined and when she picks up her right hand, something tugs at her skin. She doesn't have to look to know it's an IV needle. She ignores it, because Bucky is shaking. She startles with realization; his arm is missing.

"I'm so happy you're awake." He mutters into the bed. His voice is raw yet thick with tears.

Screw it. Ana moves her hand across her body to gently run her fingers through his hair. When he peaks up at her, his eyes are wet and bloodshot, several tears escaping. Ana’s heart clenches.

"Bucky."

He shakes his head, taking hold of her hand, minding the IV. "I honestly thought...I couldn't bring myself to believe...you're awake." He presses his trembling lips against her knuckles.

"I'm alright." She promises gently. "I'm right here."

"I almost lost you." He whispers, his voice cracking on the last word. His fingers tremble in her hand.

Ana gently squeezes his hand before she moves hers up to wipe away another tear that's falling down his scruffy cheek. "What about you? Your arm-"

"Don't worry about me, Ana." Bucky picks his head up, a small disbelieving smile on his lips. "How are you feeling?"

She inhales slowly. "Sore. Exhausted." Her throat is so dry and itchy.

"Are you in a lot of pain, love? The nurse was just in here, but I can call her again."

The concern etched on his face makes Ana want to lie to him. Or at least half lie. She's in a whole bunch of pain now that she's fully aware. She's still trying to ignore the sharp stinging pain in her knee, doesn't even want to move her leg because she's afraid she might scream. It hurts to breath, a dull pounding isolated to a spot on her stomach. Her left shoulder aches, and she knows enough that she had been shot; twice.

"It's tolerable." She evades.

Bucky stares at her for a beat, then he leans over to hit the call button. Ana fixates on the little black sleeve cap covering the stump of his left shoulder. If she asks about it, she knows he'll lie just as well. However, Ana saw it. She saw the excruciating pain Bucky was in before he passed out.

"What happened, Bucky?" Ana asks instead. She's still a little fuzzy on the details.

Bucky shifts his chair closer, leans over to softly kiss her temple. "What do you remember?"

"You jumped in front of me. You idiot." She sighs fondly.

"I will be an idiot everyday if it meant protecting you."

"And sappy." Her heart swells as she says it.

"Because I love you." He leans over again, this time pressing his lips tenderly against hers. It makes her heart flutter and for a moment she forgets any pain. "So much, Ana."

An onslaught of emotions abruptly crashes over her. Ana doesn't know if it's the drugs or the look in Bucky's incredible blue eyes, but she begins to cry. It starts off with one tear after the other, slipping from the corners of her eyes, sliding down her temples. Bucky frowns, eyebrows knitting together with concern. He lifts his fingers, keeping his touch delicate as he brushes her bruised skin. He wipes away the tears with his thumb, and the tender, loving touch rips a sob from her throat.

"Annie," He breathes, his tone absolutely heart wrenching.

It breaks her. Ana sobs. Every inch of her body hurts. Her stomach and shoulder throb from bullet wounds, one of which she can't even remember. It feels like hot needles are stabbing into her knee, something wrapped tight around it. Her lip and cheek ache, her neck feels tender.

Her throat is parched, either from lack of liquid or the hand crushing against her windpipe twice. She has no idea how long she has been lying in this bed, but she does realize how close she was to losing her own life. To losing Bucky.

Bucky makes soothing, hushing sounds, pressing his forehead against her temple. She attempts to calm her breathing because every heaving sob shakes her body, and pulls at the hole in her stomach. Her mind is jumbled with fragmented imagines, ones she can't piece together quiet yet, but the last thing she clearly remembers is Bucky. Just inches of his metal arm remained, glowing bright orange and red, the smell of singed metal filling her nose. It was terrifying, watching him drop to the floor and not moving, not getting up.

She may have just scolded him for protecting her, but in reality, he saved her life, and it cost him his arm, and nearly his own life. Bucky has been protecting her from the moment he came into her life. Ana couldn't even protect him from Hydra, she couldn’t protect him against the trigger words. They almost dragged him back, all because they were after her.

"Ana, baby. It's okay. You're okay." Bucky coos softly, still wiping at her tears. "You're with me, you're safe now. I swear it.”

She shakes her head. "I-I'm so s-sorry."

"Hey now, pretty, none of that. None of this was your fault. Shhh, it's okay, sweetheart."

The door opens during that moment, a nurse calmly entering the room. Ana tries to regain control over herself, her cries reaching a level of hyperventilation.

"Breathe, Annie, breathe. I've got you, you're safe." Bucky coaches, his voice incredibly soft. “I have you, my love. You’re safe with me. Just breathe.”

Following his soothing voice, his instructions, Ana starts to copy his own breathing patterns. She begins noting the details of his face, like she hasn't already memorized every little inch. From the little freckle on his forehead, to his dark stormy blue eyes, streaked with red lines. His lips are a dark pink, slightly cracked from being chewed on. His beard has grown a tad thicker, though the warmth of his skin is lacking, worn; he looks every bit of his true age. His brown hair falls by the corners of his eyes, hiding the spot where the crinkles appear when he smiles. He's not smiling now. Ana wishes to sear Bucky’s face into her memory forever.

Something begins to trickle into her veins, and she briefly thinks it's Erik Woods injecting her once more. In a surge of panic, she looks over at the nurse, just finishing up twisting the IV caps back on. The monitor next to her picks up speed in time with her racing heart, the beeping growing frantic. The nurse smiles gently at her, lightly tapping the plastic bag.

"It's just morphine." She kindly informs. Her eyes then shift to Bucky. "I just upped her dose, it should work a little faster this round."

Ana turns to Bucky, who is already gazing at her.

"You're in a lot of pain, baby?" He questions, probably already knows the answer.

She's too tired to lie, so she dips her head a fraction. She wants to stay awake though, doesn't want to miss another second sleeping. She mumbles this much to Bucky, his thumb never ceasing swiping over her cheek.

"I'll be right here when you wake up, Ana. I promise." He whispers, leaning forward to kiss her forehead.

Her eyes flutter, the drug beginning to take over her system. Ana swallows, attempting to lift her hand but it’s too heavy. She's still so confused. She doesn't know what happened after Bucky protected her, she doesn't know how she got to this strange hospital. She doesn't know if anyone else is alright, or if someone has captured Woods.

All she knows is that Bucky is next to her, seemingly healthy and uninjured despite his missing arm. He's sitting right next to her, touching her, whispering sweet words of love, smiling and kissing her softly. The last thing Ana sees before her heavy lids close, is Bucky's blue eyes, shinning with relief.

***

The next time Ana wakes up, she hears Bucky's low drawl, rough and crackling like he hasn't touched water in days. He's speaking to someone, so Ana opens her eyes, turning her head towards his voice. Her heart swells, tears blur her vision and she's just so frustrated because she's been in a hospital before, healing from life threatening cuts. She's been in pain before, but for some reason, this time feels different.

"Pep." Ana exhales.

Pepper whirls around, immediately pulling up a chair to sit next to the bed. "Oh, Buggy!”

God, Pepper sounds like she hasn't stopped crying. Her eyes are swollen, just like Bucky's were, and her usual kept hair, is frizzy, out of place from her low ponytail. She gently grabs her right hand, squeezing her fingers.

"I'll give you two sometime." Bucky offers, grabbing his jacket and swinging it over his shoulder to cover his left side.

"No, stay." Ana pleads, attempting to sit up. At least, she thinks she tries. Pepper places her hand on her uninjured shoulder.

"Hey, hey, sweetheart," Bucky gently reprimands. He moves closer to place a kiss on her hair. "I'll be right back, promise. Don't move too much, you'll tear your stitches. I'm just going to find some coffee that doesn't taste like shit."

His comment makes her chuckle, but the movement of her stomach hurts. Pain stabs through her body, so Ana just opts to smile. She nods as he trails his fingers down her jaw. He kisses her head once more, then exits the room, softly closing the door behind him.

"You know," Pepper starts, her voice soft and fond. "That man is completely gone for you."

"It's mutual." Ana says, wincing as she shifts. Something is cool on the back of her hand and when she looks, a shiny diamond gleams back at her. "Pepper...is that a ring?"

She smiles shyly, then shakes her head. "I'll tell you about that later. How are you feeling? I mean, I know you aren't feeling good at all, and what happened sucks. I was worried sick, I-"

Her cousin cuts herself off, but Ana wouldn't mind her rambling on. She just wants to hear her comforting voice. The voice of one of the few family members she has left, and one of the only members she's close to. Pepper is crying, and Ana quickly figures there's going to be a lot of tears shed, if they haven't been already.

"I'm sorry." She apologizes to Pepper. "I don't know how this happened. I didn't mean to-"

"Oh, honey, don't blame yourself." Pepper begins rubbing soothing strokes up and down her arm.

"Tell me please, Pep. When did he ask you?"

"A week and a half ago."

"A week and-" Ana shakes her head, ridding the rest of the fogginess from the drugs away. She must've heard wrong. "What?"

Pepper's eyes shift to the screen displaying her vitals, then back to Ana. "You've been here for ten days, Ana."

Ana breathes in slowly through her nose, trying to process that information. Ten days. She's been lying unconscious in a hospital for ten days. "What happened?"

"I tried calling you the moment after Tony asked. You didn't answer. I called three times, that's when Tony got an alert from FRIDAY, said you and Bucky were taken."

Before Pepper can continue, there's a soft knock on the door as it opens. Tony's face pops through the small gap, checking before he comes in. He's wearing a Black Sabbath shirt that is wrinkled in certain spots, and worn out jeans. Judging by their appearances, no one looks like they've slept well, if at all.

"If you could refrain from that ever happening again, I'd appreciate it." Tony quips, pulling another chair around to sit in.

"I'll try to schedule my next kidnapping around your convince." She banters back, smiling and ignoring the ache in her lip. "Want to fill in the rest for me?"

Tony gently pats her forearm, then he gives her a rundown of what happened. He informs her after she activated FRIDAY, the AI sent a signal to the bracelet that embedded the mini tracker into her wrist. FRIDAY then sent a distress call out to Tony and the rest of the team. Steve had arrived first, finding Max Cullbury and Jared Sharp. Apparently, Agent Sharp figured out something was wrong when Max wasn't in the Lab. Both men were the first to get there trying to stop it. All according to Agent Cullbury. Agent Sharp was shot, and remains in critical condition.

Ana doesn't know how to process that last part, conflicted is one word that comes to mind. Her brother's ex boyfriend, who has hated her and blamed her for years, tried coming to -not only hers but Bucky's- rescue and was shot in the process. She has to sit up at this point, so Pepper carefully presses the button that raises the top half of the bed. With the help of Tony, Ana slowly and carefully adjusts herself, minding the gunshot wound in her stomach, and keeping her right leg as steady as she can.

Tony continues to recap the events several days ago. Nick Fury had called for every single person working within the facility to be interrogated and screened once again. They apprehended anyone who seem even remotely suspicious, which ended up being eleven other people. Wanda had offered her services in retaliation of her anger and fear for her friends, she had no qualms about tapping into Hydra agents minds. Security protocol has changed as well, and Tony lets a tiny bit of his own guilt slip in there.

"Tony." Ana stops him before he can continue. Her own guilt and Bucky's is enough to fill the Atlantic ocean, she doesn't need anyone else feeling the same way. "Your defense bracelet is what saved us in the end. If it weren't for that, for the tracker, we might still be there."

Tony clears his throat as Pepper lays a comforting hand on his arm. "Right. Good on it then."

He doesn't fool Ana. She notices the bags under his eyes, spots the tick he does with his mouth when he has been incredibly worried about someone. He doesn't make eye contact with her for the next 30 seconds, focusing on picking a thread from the blanket laid over her.

"Sorry about your knee, by the way. I should've-"

"Seriously, Stark. Stop it. You wouldn’t have guessed that would happen ."

Finally, Tony meets her gaze. "Erik Woods is in critical condition."

Ana swallows thickly, her knee throbbing, abruptly aware of every single bullet hole, cut and bruise on her body. She grips the blanket, bundling the fabric in her fists. .

"He's in a high security facility being watch around the clock with armed guards. He is no longer a threat." Then, Tony smirks. "Rogers and Wilson had to stop Barnes from tracking him down and ripping out his throat. Or, I'm sorry, that's my phrase. I believe his was “rip every single bone from his body for hurting my girl”. I almost allowed him to do it."

Ana's heart skips a beat at my girl, and she has to bite her lip to keep from reacting. Until she winces at the still healing cut on her lip. Both Pepper and Tony roll their eyes are her reaction, but deep down, she can't figure out if she's glad Bucky was stopped, or if she's disappointed. It raises her next question.

"Why is Woods in critical condition?" She inquires knowingly.

Tony takes a few moments to answer, placing his hand over Pepper's. "Because you are incredibly powerful. And for same reason you were." He informs gravely. "After Barnes went down, you drained Woods' energy. He shot you in retaliation, but it didn't stop you, Ana. You kept going, until Bucky somehow stopped you. It drained your own in return. I thought-"

He clears his throat, shifting in his seat. "I flew you to the jet. You weren't breathing by the time I got up there. It was only for a few moments. Luckily the team of medics we brought with us were able to get you breathing...started your heart again."

"You were in the ICU for nine days, Ana. In a coma for three of those." Pepper whispers, a single tear falling from her left eye.

Ana just blinks at them. She didn’t know her heart had stopped beating. "Fuck."

They both nod. Tony reaches out and hooks his index finger over Ana's pinkie. "Thought you were gone there for a moment, kid."

She doesn't even react to his nickname. She can barely react at all. It's so much to take in. She nearly killed Erik Woods by draining his life energy and in return...almost killed herself? Jared and Max came to their rescue and couldn't stop it and now Jared in the one fighting for his life. Bucky's arm was blasted off because he protected Ana, jumped in front of her risking his own damn life for hers. She nearly died protecting Bucky. She did die; if only for a minute or two. Pepper pulls her out of her reeling thoughts.

"Bucky was going insane," She tells her. "I lied to the staff, said that he's your fiancé and gave him my family pass. He hasn't left your side until now."

Ana is indescribably speechless. From remembering Bucky being triggered, to watching him sacrifice himself, to her waking up in the hospital. She's suddenly so, so tired, her eyelids growing heavy. She will swear it's the drugs and her own exhaustion, and not the fact that all information may has led her to passing out. She doesn't fight it off, just lets it come and take over her body, being pulled into unconsciousness yet again.

When Ana wakes up the third time, she's surrounded by people, but her eyes frantically seek out Bucky. He's there, standing back and in the far corner. A light chatter is fills the room, voices reserved until Ana shifts, alerting everyone that she's awake. She lifts her hand, accidentally ripping someone else's grip from hers, and reaches towards Bucky.

He grins softly, because he has probably been watching her the entire time, and pushes himself off the wall. The person holding her hand before, Wanda, she finally acknowledges, scoots back to make room for him to sit on the bed. When he does, Ana places her hand on his jaw and Bucky turns his head to kiss her palm. It makes her heart flutter.

"You look exhausted." She tells him softly, stroking her thumb over his scruffy cheek.

"I'm fine, baby." He reassures her, pushing her hair behind her ear. "Do you need anything? Water? The nurse? Are you hungry? You must be hungry. I smuggled in a jar of Nutella. I would've brought pizza but I'm not sure-"

"Bucky, darling." Ana coos, tugging his face closer. "I love you." She presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I love you." He breathes against her mouth.

When they break apart, she finds Bucky's right hand, interlocking their fingers together, then surveys the room. Steve is sitting next to her bed, smiling down at his hands. Natasha is stands behind him, arms crossed and a slight look of concern on her face. Clint is next to her, resting his arm on her shoulder. He smirks and nods, then goes back to chatting with Sam, who looks even more concerned before giving his attention back to Clint.

Wanda appears as if she hasn't slept for days, and she might even give Bucky a run for his record. She's holding a paper cup of something that doesn't smell like coffee, she lifts it with a shaky hand. Ana is abruptly overwhelmed with everyone surrounding her, and she is grateful for the friends she has. Extremely grateful for the man holding her hand, lifting her knuckles to his lips.

***

They keep Ana in the hospital for another two days, double checking her wounds and vitals. The doctor just wants to make sure she feels comfortable enough to go home, and gives her instructions on what to do if she feels off in anyway. Her stitches are clean, no sign of infection, and her arm only had to stay in the sling for another three days. He does tell her that she can't lift, or workout or do anything strenuous for eight weeks, and to keep to the strict diet until her abdomen heals.

They also discuss the option of another knee surgery. Since the doctors had to perform one to remove the Stark rods, and that alone will leave Ana in a wheelchair until her shoulder is healed enough to use crutches. She has to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from screaming in anger. She's just so fucking mad this happened, and on several occasions, wishes death upon Woods.

When Ana finally goes home, she snuggles up to Bucky the best she can, in the less painful way she can. She sleeps, and sleeps, and sleeps, until Bucky has to wake her up a few times. The first time is so she can take her medications. The second is so she can eat, even if she isn't that hungry. The third is to make sure she's doing okay.

"Bucky, babe, please let me sleep, for the love of everything holy." She grumbles petulant, pressing her face into his neck.

"Just making sure you're real, Annie." He whispers, voice breaking.

Ana opens her eyes. She understands it, she does. Because sometimes she'll wake up on her own, has to make sure Bucky is breathing, alive and next to her. She often thinks about how both of their worst nightmares had come true, or nearly came true. To make sure they're both real and in front of each other, they press their palms over each other’s hearts.

Bucky will tap his thumb twice against her collarbone, then he'll press his face into the joint of her jaw. He'll inhale, says she smells a little like the hospital still and can't wait for her to smell like flowers in the rain again. He'll drag his nose behind her ear and tells her-

"Can't wait for you to smell like me, too."

Then he'll press the lightest kiss against her pulse racing in her neck. He'll trail his hand down her body, dipping over her curves, tracing his fingers over tattoos and the scars on her back, then her wrist. Finally, he says-

"Doll face."

Ana will grab a strand of his long hair and tug, harshly so she can see his fake expression of pain. It's one her ways of knowing he's just as real. She'll trace his strong jawline, feeling the texture of his soft facial hair beneath her fingertips. She traces over his pouty red lips, down his neck, also kissing his pulse point, and places her hand over the stump of metal. Then she'll kiss the middle of his chest, feeling his heart pickup.

"Winter Flurry."

He rarely leaves her side, though she has no problem with that. Even when the others filter in and out of her room, Bucky stays by her side, unless he goes to get them food or drinks or to the bathroom. Ana finds out just how worried and scared everyone was when she begins to sense their energies again. It isn't bad, just something she can feel, like a faint breeze along her skin. It's when they leave at the end of the night, that Bucky confesses something.

"You know," He begins, the pads of his fingers gently scratching her scalp. "I honestly thought I lost you, that he took you from me. I was so fucking terrified, Ana. I didn't know what to do with myself."

"I thought I lost you too." She admits, gripping his shirt. "When he shot your arm off, I was so scared. Bucky, I thought...I thought he hit your chest, because you just..." She doesn't finish.

They remain silent, just holding onto each other, hurt, broken and bruised, but alive and together.

***

The soft moments only last a week. Something has been weighing on Bucky's mind, she can tell.

After six days, Ana feels like she can use her arm again, so she pretends to kick the wheelchair away as she sits on the bed of the medical ward. Janice is checking her vitals, after she cried in relief. Tony is there, currently fitting a highly advanced orthotic piece to her leg. The specially designed knee brace begin at her mid thigh, straps over and under her knee, and ends around her calf.

"You're sure you don't want another surgery?" He questions, making last second adjustments to the lateral and medial stabilizers.

"I'm sure. Knee surgery in intensive, and I've had enough fill of pain for one month, thank you." Ana lifts her eyes from Tony's working hands. She spots Bucky with his jacket on, talking with Sharon and Steve, both of whom are holding hands. "Is there anything you can do for his arm?"

"I offered." Tony answers her, leaning back. "He refused every offer.”

She gets it, she understands. Bucky doesn't want anything to do with a robotic arm. He doesn't have to say it, but Ana understands.

Bucky voices his thoughts after that.

"Bucky. No. Please, don't do this." Physical pain isn't enough. Bucky has to go and voice his idea of what he wants to do. It's breaking Ana's heart.

"I'm so sorry, love." Bucky coos sorrowfully, "but I can't risk Hydra finding you. I can't allow something like that to ever happen to you again, and if they get wind of what Erik Woods was trying to do...they'll use us against each other and I can’t. I can't risk that, Ana."

"But you came out of it." She sniffs miserably, tears falling from her eyes. Deep down, Ana knows he's right.

Bucky wipes her tears away, but his own betray him. "I'm guessing they have another chair. If there's even the slightest possibility it can be used, and I'm still triggered, they will send me after you. When Woods tried, it was barely on before you stopped it, but I was still confused. You called out to me before he finished the phrase, Annie, and it helped. Everything that you have done helped me find my way back to you. Unfortunately it didn't stop me from attacking, from trying to follow those commands."

"You protected me, you broke out of it and you shot him. Not me."

"It's too risky."

Ana scoots away from him to the furthest corner of her bed, accidently disturbing Ezra. He just blinks in annoyance, then moves closer to Bucky, because that fickle cat would take his side on this.

"Are you angry?" Bucky asks her, his tone suddenly controlled.

"Yes. No." She sighs, falling backwards. Which tends to be a mistake and jars her gun wounds. "Ow."

Bucky leans over her face, his expression torn.

"I want to be mad, I really would love to just yell and get angry-"

"The doctor told you no strenuous activities, that includes throwing things at me. As much as I love it."

Ana tugs his hair. "You know that meant no sex as well, right?"

"Would you really have sex with me right now, as angry as you are, even though you're trying you hardest to hide it?"

She narrows her eyes at him because he knows her so well. "Where are you thinking of going?"

He smiles dejectedly. "You know I won't be able to tell you, darling."

They continue to bicker about it for another day, until Steve backs up his best friend. He makes Ana see and understand the logic behind it. Tells her it's all for her safety and Bucky's mental stability because he nearly tore Erik Woods apart. She very nearly voices that she wouldn't have minded that, and Ana herself had fleeting dark thoughts of killing Hydra agents as well. She ends up finally relenting with Bucky's plan. It doesn't mean she's happy about it.

"Steve." Ana speaks airily. "You see that bowl of plums over there?"

"Goddamnit." Bucky mutters.

"Yes." Steve smirks, already getting up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

"Please throw at least five of them at him, would you. It's an important part of my healing process."

To his credit, Bucky doesn't even block the fruit as it pelts him all in the chest. He just sighs exasperatingly, grabs one of the plums and bites into it. Then he offers the fruit to Ana.

“I love you but that doesn’t mean I’m not pissed as hell,” She reminds him.

Bucky’s answer is wrapping his arm around her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. Ana still melts into to him.

***

“You’re absolutely sure about this?”

“I told you, I just don't think I can trust my own mind yet. It almost worked. I could’ve hurt her. I could’ve killed her.”

Ana scoffs, rolling her eyes. She probably isn’t meant to hear either of them as she leans against Sam's car, but she does, and she’s fed up, angry, and upset. She tried to keep her anger over the plan at bay, but she can't because it's real and it's happening right now. She is extremely upset, because she's still in a little pain, and her knee throbs in the brace, and her heart is about to shatter. She pushes herself off the car and limps right over to Steve and Bucky.

“But you didn’t!” She reminds Bucky fiercely. “In fact, Woods almost killed me himself.”

“That doesn’t make it better.” Bucky counters, reaching for her hand. "What if I shot you instead?"

Ana pulls it back quickly. “This is fucking bullshit!"

“I’ll give you two some time.” Steve flinches, then hurries away towards the small car.

“Annie-“

“No. No. Don’t. I-“

Bucky cups her jaw, bring her forward and kisses her. He keeps his lips firm, moving against hers and Ana feels her anger melt away, along with her spine. She kisses him back, tangling her fingers in his hair, and resting her other hand on the metal base of the stump. She pulls back to press her forehead against his.

“I’m so sorry I failed you.” She murmurs, tears burning her eyes. That's her confession, the true reason she's upset. “I failed you.”

“Hey,” Bucky leans back, trying to make eye contact, she doesn’t look. “Ana, you didn’t- look at me, darling. You did not fail me. Not at all."

She shakes her head, a single tear betraying her and falling down her cheek. “It didn’t work. Deprogramming, it didn't-”

“Yes, yes it did. Everything you have done, worked. I was only able to save you because you helped me take control of my mind. I was only able to fight through it because of you.”

“Not completely, isn't that the problem here? That’s where-“

“You did not fail me. Please, please don’t blame yourself for this. I'm doing this for security. I have to take every precaution."

Ana pulls him back down by his neck, kissing him twice. “How long?” She whimpers against his mouth.

“I’m not sure,” Bucky frowns when he pulls back. “Until I can find a way to fix everything inside my head. I was still somewhat triggered. I can’t take any more chances with hurting you, and any enemy of ours will know we’re each other’s weaknesses and strength. I can’t risk someone else using that against you again.”

He kisses her forehead. “Promise me something, Ana. Don’t wait for me.”

“No.” Ana refuses firmly. “I will wait for you and there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no one else I want. Idiot.”

He chuckles despite himself. “I had to try.”

She scoffs, tugging his hair. Ana rests her head on his chest, fighting back the urge to sob. Bucky hugs her tightly with his arm, and even though he only has one at the moment, it’s the strongest hug she’s ever had. There’s a short honk to their side, signaling they have to get going soon. Bucky lifts his arm, but Ana doesn’t see what he does; more than likely he flicked them off. She pulls back when he gazes at her. She brushes his hair back, tracing her fingers along his jaw. She taps her index finger on his lips.

“Come back to me.” She quietly requests.

His eyes soften, crinkling at the corners with a private grin. “Don’t blame yourself.”

“I’ll make you a deal.” Ana bargains.

“Over the Nutella?”

She pokes his dimpled chin. “You come back to me, and I promise I won’t blame myself.”

“That sounds like a good deal.”

Bucky leans down to kiss her again, deep and slow, keeping his hand firmly against her cheek. Ana allows him to kiss her like that, as if it’s just the two of them, even though Steve and Sam are probably witnessing this. Her heart pounds painfully in her chest and when she places her hand against Bucky’s, his heart beat matches.

“I love you,” He murmurs against her lips, brushing their noses together. “Very much. Don’t ever forget that.”

“You don’t forget how much I love you either.” Ana whispers. “And I do. Love you.”

“I have to go now.” Bucky tells her, frowning with wet eyes. A tear escapes his left eye.

Ana wipes it away. “I know.”

She meets him halfway for their last kiss, this one filled with love, a little bit of pain, but with a sense of hope. His energy wraps around her one last time, a rueful comfort and goodbye all at once. His tongue slides against hers and Ana is going to miss the way his tongue curls in her mouth and makes her knees weak. They kiss like that for several moments before it slows down, turning into short, but sweet pecks. Bucky kisses her once, twice and on the third kiss, he pulls away, nearly taking Ana with him.

She watches as Bucky heads toward the waiting car and opens the door. He looks back at her and smirks, though it’s not up to par of his usual one. He leans into the car then back out, suddenly tossing something to her. It flips through the air before Ana catches it with both hands. It’s a small jar of Nutella, causing her to laugh, ending with her lips trembling.

Bucky waves his hand, giving her one last smile, then gets into the car. The door closes, and just like that, Steve is pulling away, driving Bucky right out of her life. Ana follows, taking one, two, three, four, steps and breaking into a slight jog, ignoring the pain in her knee, stopping once the car is far enough away and out of sight. She tries to swallow the sob caught in her throat, pulling herself together as she walks back towards Sam in the other car.

He doesn’t say anything once she gets seated and buckled. Ana stares down at the small jar of hazelnut chocolate spread, tears filling her eyes. It’s going to be a long, painful road of waiting, and she doesn’t remember how she was living before Bucky came into her life. A few tears escape, landing on her hands.

“I’m turning the music up on this road trip, I hope you don’t mind.” Sam informs, and the music growing louder by the second.

Ana smiles because she knows exactly what he’s doing. She nods and looks out the window as he starts driving, a sob finally escaping her mouth. She cries hard for a few minutes, just watching the scenery go by with blurred vision. Sam reaches out once, offering a comforting squeeze to her arm. Finally, after several songs play, Ana wipes her tears away for now. Then, she decides to change the music.

“We’re listening to something else.” She tells Sam, then switches out the CD from Earth, Wind, and Fire to Queen.

“Did you just-“ Sam begins indignantly, glancing over at her.

“Pay attention, Wilson. You’re driving.” Ana only knows he allows her to change the music because her focus is on him now, instead of the broken heart in her chest.

She knows this is what Bucky wanted, she understands all the logic behind it. The capture and events had plagued Bucky's mind every night and even though she slept next to him, he couldn't seem to do the same; Ana felt it eating away at him. She knows Bucky wants to heal completely and fully, and he refuses to take anymore of Ana's own energy, despite how powerful she had proven herself to be.

Ana understands. All she wants is the absolute best for Bucky, and if finding an alternative option is the way to erase the triggers completely, then so be it. She will wait from him to come back to her, however long it takes.

***

"Stevie, please. I need this." Bucky is now begging. It took nearly two hours but he finally broke.

"Fine." Steve gives in, gripping the steering wheel so hard it dents a little. "But only because of what he did to the both of you. I was fucking terrified and pissed as hell Buck, I hope you know that."

"I know, pal. I know." Bucky says solemnly. "Then you understand."

"I do."

Steve pulls up to a heavily secured building. They both get out, getting checked and scanned, and handed IDs. It's really only because of Steve that they're even allowed to enter the building. Two guards lead the way, down hallways, into elevators, and finally to the floor and room they want. Steve nods at the guards and they leave, then he sets his hard gaze on Bucky.

"You got two minutes before they come back and I come get you." He tells him.

Bucky nods curtly, then he presses the key card he was given earlier to the lock pad on the door. He pushes it open, quickly closing it behind him. The sight of Erik Woods lying on a bed, hooked up to wires and a machine will never be satisfying enough.

Bucky walks over to the bed, the sound of soft beeping and echoes of the oxygen machine fill the small room. Bucky leans over, anger boiling in his blood, staring at the man that nearly killed Ana. Recognition flickers in his green eyes.

"You took her." Bucky snarls lowly, unadulterated hate coloring his tone. "You touched her. You broke her. You made her bleed. You almost took my girl from me. For that, I am going to make you suffer."

His eyes flick towards the machines, and he sees a little switch for the life support pump. Revenge is nearly there, sitting deliciously sweet on his tongue. He reaches over, hooking his finger over the little lever. He looks back down at Erik Woods, fear gleam in his eyes.

"This is me, Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier, turning off your oxygen."

He flicks the switch down. The machine begins to beep, gets louder and faster. Erik's chest stops rising and falling. Then Bucky waits another two seconds before speaking.

"Are you in pain? Does it hurt horribly? Good." He hisses menacingly. "I want you to feel every inch of it. I want you to suffer. I want you to struggle, to feel the air leaving your lungs, feel it burning as your face turns red. That's what you did to her. That's what you put her through. This is what you deserve for Hydra harming her family. This is what you deserve for touching her.”

It would be so easy for Bucky to just walk away and let him be. To let Woods leave this world in agony, gasping for his last few breaths of air. Bucky grits his teeth, swallowing every vengeful thought.

"This is Ana." Bucky continues quietly. "Turning it back on." He switches the support back on.

He leans over again, making sure he can see him. Erik's eyes are responsive.

"Killing you is too easy. What's worse, is having you watch all your hard work come undone. You failed, Woods. That's worse than your death. Ana is alive. I'm alive. You failed, and you get to live knowing that fact for the next few weeks of your life. Because you will die in your failure.”

Then, Bucky leaves. He walks right out and away from the room. The man lying in pain, lying broken in the bed, no longer matters. What does matter, is finding a way to fix everything inside him, to rid the brainwashing wired in him. As much as it shatters his heart to do so, as much as it hurts him, he's doing it all for Ana. He will find some way to fix this.

Bucky will come back to his girl.

*******************************************************Previous Epilogue

#bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x ofc #Bucky Barnes #delicate stages #my fic #fanfiction

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