#So basically I'm the shittiest.

[icewindandboringhorror]

"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"

I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming

[the-blossica-fan]

I remember seeing a post wherein Matilda is akin to "the soulmate goose duck of enforcement"

That is to say, she causes relationships to happen around her just by her existing between two people 😭

Oh, she was talking with Druvis III and Lilya joined in the conversation? Boom. She later learns they're now dating.

That sort of thing 😭😭😭

Why the heck did I not see this one? I'm so sorry 😭😭

Taking this into consideration, Matilda would 100% be frightened of this power.

It all started when she joined in a conversation with two random classmates, later on they started to date and she thought it was nice!

Then Jessica and Blonney

Then Windsong and Vila (I do think they had an interaction because of the kids)

And then she began to pale.

Poor Matilda gets no girls (Kanjira is there but Matilda is, let's be real, she's oblivious)

She does NOT want to get in between Vertin and Sonetto. This power must not be used for the wrong purposes (she low-key scared they begin to date if she gets in an interaction). Also since Matilda is very superstitious and believes in a lot of things about the stars, she's so not talking to them at the same time.

Ended up dating Kanjira and she still doesn't know what (she pulled by accident LMAO)

[crumbleclub]

anyway i was thinking in hypotheticals to figure out how i think about the concept of forgiveness in various scenarios (as one does while brushing their teeth yk yk) and one of the situations my brain gave me was "what would you do if you were william afton's cashier at walmart"

[ashtonisvibing]

oh yeah that

that sore throat didn't go away

[margaerytas]

Feel like now I am trying to get pregnant, my body has committed to giving me the most unusual periods it can think of

[neverendingford]

they try to serv

they sometimes protec

but most importantly

you don't get your driver's license bac

[martian-astro10]

Solar return observations- Part 5

If you have Saturn in 12th then sleep well, that is....if you manage to fall asleep in the first place. (I have it this year and IT SUCKS, I have literally not been able to sleep, I've tried every single tea, every meditation, white noises, NOTHING WORKS, I also have mars in 12th, so I'm just fucking tired the whole time)

North node in 2nd is an indication that you'll start earning money for the very first time in your life, it doesn't have to be a full time job (I have seen this a lot of times when a person starts working for the first time, like a part time job or something. You get to experience what it's like to have "your" money)

I'm pretty sure that an astrologer has already said this, but I don't remember who, so I'll say it again, Uranus in 3rd means getting a new cycle, bike or car, basically anything that helps you with short distance travelling. (One of my friends have it this year and he already had a cycle but it got stolen and he just decided to buy a car, since he has money saved up for one)

This is very specific, but if you have Jupiter in 9th/ 11th then GO GET THAT RECOMMENDATION LETTER. (If you are graduating or planning to get a new job, this year is good for that. The years in which my sister, my friends or I have had this, our teachers, bosses or colleagues were SO impressed with us and we got really good reference letters, we slayed so hard in those years)

Vertex in 6th can be a VERY busy and exhausting year. Too many responsibilities and not enough knowledge of how to deal with them. (I had this the year in which I started living alone, It was also squaring my moon and dude, TW the suicidal ideation was STRONG. I wish I could give some sort of an advice but I don't know what to say, you just need to learn how to deal with the problems as they come)

Mercury square Neptune....the level of miscommunication is insane. (One of my closest friends has this and she...I love her but she's being very annoying. We were on a trip and she was talking to some people, so me and my other friend, we started clicking pictures, cuz we didn't want to disturb her and she comes up and says "why are you guys doing this without me, why are you not including me, if you don't wanna hang out with me anymore just say it" like GIRL) if you have this, don't start unnecessary drama, communication will be difficult so just stay quiet

Chiron in 12th is one of the shittiest years in regards to mental health, I hate this. (My friends have had this before and it's there in my 2025 solar return chart and I'm already dreading it. Everything bad that can happen...happens. I don't care what anyone says, this placement is just pure EWWWW and NOTHING can convince me otherwise)

Aries in 8th can be the year in which you lose your virginity (If you WANT to) I know quite a few people who had this the year they lost their V-card. (It's completely okay if you don't though, take your time and do it with a person who you trust and love, no pressure)

Mars in 9th is such a good placement for travelling and studies. (I had this in my 1st year of college, I remember I was so excited, studying was very easy, I loved learning new things and stuff, it was very nice. I was also travelling a lot, discovering new places. I had a lot of energy, really fun year)

Sun in 7th is a great placement if you want to work with others. (My mom has it this year and her business is ON FIRE, every time she has a meeting, it goes so well and she always gets a better deal than what she expected) this is a really good time for working with others, in partnerships. If you are a student, then you're going to do especially well in group projects.

(all pictures are taken from Pinterest)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[chosolar]

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈ what about us?

choso x fem!reader

situationship!choso first met you through yuji. you were yuji's partner for a project he had in college, so you were often at their place to work on it. choso, like the gentleman he is, often gave you rides back to your dorm.

situationship!choso spent one night with you and he couldn't get you out of his mind afterwards. even if you both did agree that it was just a one night stand, just a way of releasing stress that's been building up, but choso didn't want to be just a one time thing.

situationship!choso finally got the chance to talk to you one night when he found you outside the club he used to frequent. he gave you his jacket and gave you a ride home since he knows how sketchy people get. he only meant to check up on you the morning after but something inside him told him to continue the convo.

situationship!choso takes you out after you're done your classes. sometimes choso works mornings and sometimes evenings so whenever you two have free time together, he always takes advantage of it.

situationship!choso wants to always fall asleep on the phone with you. because technically he's not your boyfriend, he feels bad sleeping over so instead he settles on falling asleep when you're on a call.

situationship!choso has a hard time saying I love you. he's proven it with his actions and loyalty, but saying those 3 words is just something he holds back on.

situationship!choso overhears you defending him when you're on the phone with your friends. it's been a year since your relationship started with him and he had still yet to ask you out officially. your friends are annoyed with him and he deserves the heat, but he can't help but feel sorry for you who's defending him wholeheartedly.

situationship!choso can't commit. he doesn't know if it started because of his parents' tumultuous relationship or if it was his ex who fucked him over during their 3 year relationship, but he just can't seem to commit himself to anyone. he hates it. you deserve so much better than him.

situationship!choso loves you so much but he just can't bring himself to be in another relationship. he's not emotionally available enough to be able to communicate with you properly.

situationship!choso keeps delaying on breaking it with you but he can't. he doesn't know how to bring it up and he can't imagine how much he'd have fucked you over if he does break it off. he'll be basically just like his ex who wasted his time.

situationship!choso finally finds the courage to talk to you about how he's feeling. he was planning on doing it through text but that would've been disrespectful to you so he asked if you could come over to his place. he struggles at first to put forward the things he wanted to say, and with his mind all over the place, he just ends up blurting out that he wants to stop seeing you.

with the look you're giving him after he speaks, choso thinks it would've hurt a lot less if you stabbed him in the chest. he waits for an answer for you, he expects for you to get angry and yell at him or to just slap him in the face. you don't do anything though. you're still and silent, and that's what worries choso the most.

"listen it's-" choso starts to explain but you cut him off.

"was it something I did?"

"no of course not. you're perfect baby," choso sighs and pauses before he continues his train of though. "I'm not a good partner. I will be the shittiest boyfriend you'll ever have if we continue and you deserve someone so much better than me."

"then why can't we be together? why can't you be better for me?" you ask him and choso doesn't know how to answer. what's he supposed to say? regardless of his reply, you're going to wonder if you're enough.

"I don't know, I'm sorry. I wish I could tell you." he whispers. as much as he loves you, he wishes he didn't start anything with you because he didn't expect to fall in love so hard. choso didn't think breaking this off would be so difficult for him.

you're quiet again and choso hates the silence because he can't tell what you're thinking. a few minutes pass until he looks at you when you speak up.

"well can't we just try?"

choso's speechless. he just can't wrap his head around the fact that you want to stay with him so badly that you'd willingly hurt yourself for him.

"I can't promise you that I'll be good." choso starts off, "I'm not the best at communicating and I have jealousy issues."

he looks at you before he continues.

"my family is dysfunctional and I don't go out often so you're probably the only person I'll hang out with."

"that's fine," you go to him and embrace him as he reciprocates the hug, happy to be around his arms again. "I'll be here for you."

situationship!choso spends weeks courting you. he's always waking excuses to see you, whether that's picking and dropping you off when you have classes, or he just so happens to be at your work while you're on your break.

situationship!choso is not afraid of showing affection for you when you're in public. he started greeting your friends whenever he saw them and slowly, their opinions of him started changing. it's not like they instantly think that he's the best man for you now, but they're glad that he's bettering himself for you.

situationship!choso introduces you to his family. he contemplated on doing so but even if he's not on the best terms with his parents, he wanted them to know that he's serious about you.

situationship!choso plans the cutest, most sweetest date to ask you out. he knows you deserve the best and that goes for making it official with you.

boyfriend!choso loves you to death. after only having the most exhausting and toxic relationships, being with you is a breath of fresh air for him. he wakes up and goes to sleep with you in mind. he works hard so that you can have a better future with him where you don't have to lift a finger.

boyfriend!choso is so clingy! you didn't expect it because of how awkward he was at first with him but as soon as he felt comfortable, he would be right by your side wherever you go. even if it's just to go to the kitchen or the washroom, you can bet he's right behind you.

boyfriend!choso still has some issues that he's working on. sometimes when you have a big fight, you have to beg him to ask what he's feeling because he's spent so many years holding it in that it's hard for him to vocalize. even if it does get frustrating sometimes, you don't hold it against him since you know how bad it used to be (baby steps!)

boyfriend!choso is the true definition of being a secret freak. everywhere, anytime, whatever position, as long as it's with you, choso is down.

boyfriend!choso sometimes stays awake after you pass out to take time to appreciate you. he's never felt a softer love than when he's with you, and he can't believe a person so patient and loving wanted to stay with him.

boyfriend!choso loves supporting you on any hobbies you have. whether it's gaming or something like crocheting, choso will ask you questions to try and connect with you through what you love.

boyfriend!choso is elated that he can sleep over anytime now. he's basically moved in with you and he's so glad that he doesn't have to sleep on the phone with you to feel like you're right beside him at night.

boyfriend!choso has gotten over his fear of saying I love you. it took him some time to say it back to you but you never rushed him, it was obvious that he loves you too. he just looks at your gentle smile and sighs that he couldn't say it. but on a random night, he drank a little too much and as you were taking care of him, "I love you" was all that he said. ever since then, choso has never had a problem telling you the 3 words you've been wanting to hear.

ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈

wanted to flesh out the situationship but I've never been in one so I didn't know how to lmaooooo

not proofread ofc

[macking-cheese]

Transformers: Earthspark brainworms rn

What if Bee got put under Mandroid's control? GAH ITS EATING ME UP THINKING ABOUT IT

inspired by asimp4bee's (I think I spelled that right) art I saw with the same theory, and the song Control by Halsey

This also includes Breakbee! Ig it's like a situationship but actually they're terrible at feelings and Bee is like “am I not enough for him” and when shit goes down later Breakdown is like “damn I gotta step up fr” (this is probably a terrible explanation and for that I am sorry)

Also this accidentally became an exploration of Jawbreaker and Bee's relationship (AS SIBLINGS!!! I just think that in a way they complement each other and I wanna explore it) (It's probably me just projecting my neurodiversity onto them tbh)

This is like really bee-centric, more than I originally intended for it to be. I wanted it to gauge the terrans’ reactions to losing their brother/mom#2 (this is an inside joke pls don't flame me for it), then it became me wanting that twink mentally obliterated (and studying the journey of healing through family support after the inevitable crash out)

So here's a little drabble? Of me fleshing out the introduction of my ideas a bit more so I have a basic outline of where to go with the fic I'm planning! This has some dark themes (TW: suicidal ideation, kidnapping, torture, violence, harming of children, crazy how most of this is canon typical)

Basically this is set right after the kids break Bee and co out of the G.H.O.S.T cells, he tries one last time to get Breakdown to join them, and is rejected. So Bee goes home with the kids, and after a bit, making sure they're okay and under supervision of their family, he goes back alone to try and get Breakdown to join him again, the first place he looks being back at the facility, hoping he might still be there, but he knew he wouldn't, it was his dumb optimism saying there might have still been a chance.

Of course heading back there first was a bad idea. Probably the shittiest call he could make. He immediately gets recaptured and those G.H.O.S.T fuckers torture him and demonstrate their new mind control technology, trying to break the bot mentally and turn him into a weapon for their own personal/military use. When the big battle happens, he's sent out and,,,,

The terrans are so happy to see him, they missed their brother figure (jokingly their mom#2) and could really use his help and possibly Breakdown's, if he succeeded in his mission, in the fight. He told them he was going back to try and get more recruits, he'd be gone for no longer than a day, but if it takes longer, not to worry. It's been two weeks. (Or however it happened canonically, idk. I haven't actually watched the show in a month so this original setup probably doesn't make sense, really just writing to write here)

But when they get a closer look, he seems so worn down and tired and small. Trying to appear angry and bitter and intimidating, but it looked so fake and they didn't know why he wasn't easing up upon seeing the terrans again, until they see that cold, emotionless white in his optics.

They can't believe it. He’s not wearing a G.H.O.S.T badge. Maybe he's playing an ill-timed prank.

“That's not funny, Bee”

“We need your help”

“You're scaring me”

“Please stop”

“Bee?”

They notice the flicker of blue and the horrid screech-click of a failing vocalizer. The way his body trembles and his arm plating shakes with the effort to keep it from transforming into his stinger.

A last-ditch effort on his end, he turns on his radio with a slurry of static.

“C-an't help thi-sssssssss- should be sk- scared -f me-!”

The terrans are a mix of horrified and worried. They know they should move, run away, some catch up fast enough and do that, having to drag others. Jawbreaker just can't. That's his favorite person, his confidant, his older brother.

“Back-back-ba-ckhss… up!” It was the only semblance of himself that he seemed to have somewhat control of, and he clung to it. The terrans needed to know he didn't mean anything he was going to do.

Jawbreaker did move, a few disbelieving steps away, not fast enough to dodge the hand landing on his chest to move him away, too harshly for anyone's comfort.

Bumblebee was tearing himself up to try and fight for control. It hurt, it hurt so much, he almost wanted to sink into that awful bliss the chip in his back offered. But he couldn't, those were his mentees, his kids. He'd kill himself if he ever brought harm to them.

He wondered if the chip would stop him if he tried now. Maybe he could fry his circuits if he kept pushing against the breaching walls of code. Maybe he could shoot himself or something.

With that thought his arm finally transformed and the kids booked it. He couldn't stop himself from aiming at them and landed a few painful shots. He begged for forgiveness as he lost himself, giving up and letting the parasite fully enter him.

All this for Breakdown, and he didn't even know if it was worth it to have gone back in the first place.

-----

There's so much more I have running around in my head and my notes for this! You're welcome to share any thoughts, and please disregard if this was structured oddly. I'm jumping in my seat right now with excitement and my thoughts are a bit scattered trying to get this out.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 16

part 1 | part 15 | ao3

cw: unsympathetic religious discussion, mentions of oral sex (istg if you’re under 18 i will send such a sternly worded letter to your legal guardian, go aWAY)

“So just, to recap…” Eddie says dully, digging a thumb into his brow bone like he’s got a headache coming on. He’s sitting on the floor with his back against a work bench — one knee drawn to his chest, the other stretched out long, nearly tripping Steve where he's pacing a hole into the concrete. He lets his head fall against the bench with a thunk, looks up at Steve and continues, “we just got abducted by two asthmatic freshmen—”

“Pretty sure Dustin's the only one with asthma.”

"Okay, and I’m pretty sure that doesn't fucking matter when we've just been kidnapped and forced to play the world’s shittiest version of Seven Minutes in Heaven!"

Eddie takes a shuddering breath, brings his voice back down an octave. "Sorry,” he says, then sighs morosely to himself. “Imprisoned by my own sheepies…”

What a goddamned drama queen.

“Sheepies?” Steve asks.

"Never mind,” Eddie huffs. “Just... I mean, Jesus Christ, is this really what's happening? This? This is really where my life's at right now?”

Steve’s been wondering that himself.

“It's an intervention!" Dustin screeches. "It's for your own good!” “I’m gonna intervene your head from your body!” “That doesn’t even make sense!” Steve gives the metal above him one final, fruitless shove, then sinks down on the steps and puts his head in his hands. Pinches the end of his nose. His voice is hoarse from yelling, his temples starting to throb. Eddie’s shaking beside him like a cat that fell in an ice bath. “Seriously,” he pleads, lowering his voice. “Let us out; this isn’t cool.” “We will, okay? We promise. Just talk to each other first. Please? Just fifteen minutes.” Aaand he's yelling again. "Fifteen— are you out of your mind??" He's about to say 'hell no,' or maybe 'go fuck yourself,' but then Dustin yelps, “U.S.S. Butterscotch!” 'U.S.S. Butterscotch.' It’s basically the Scoops Troop's 'Olly olly oxen free.' “Goddammit, dude, FINE!”

“....Yeah, that about sums it up." Steve runs a hand through his hair, sweeping his bangs back off his forehead.

Eddie gives him a worn-out stare. “Well, shit.”

“Yep.” He goes back to his pacing — back and forth, back and forth, like it's actually doing anything to calm him down. (It isn’t really. If anything it’s just making his lower back damp with sweat.)

On the floor, Eddie shivers and draws his other leg to his chest, chin resting on bony knees, arms wrapped around his legs. "Christ, it's freezing," he complains, rubbing a hand over his shins. "If we die of exposure before I get to exact my revenge on those little assholes I'm gonna be so pissed."

"Here—" Steve starts to shrug off his jacket to give it to Eddie, but then he remembers the pills he still has stashed in the left pocket and abruptly changes course. He turns to the storage shelves, scanning for anything that might be useful, and— "There we go."

He makes his way to a messy pile of old camping supplies, scoops up an armful of whatever he can find: sleeping bags, flashlights, a lantern, some old citronella candles. They won't do much for warmth, but they'll make the place a bit less Russian torture chamber, at least.

Eddie eyes him a little warily as he sets up a spot right beside him on the floor. He spreads one sleeping bag out for them to sit on like a picnic blanket; offers the other one to Eddie, who drapes it over his shoulders like a cloak, his long, dark curls spilling over the edge.

"You got a light?" he asks, arranging the candles and the lantern in a half-circle around them.

"Sure do,” Eddie says. His face lights up when he slips a hand inside his pocket. "Oh, hell yeah, baby! Look what else I got."

He pulls out a silver flask, flashing it at Steve, and Steve ignores the way the words 'hell yeah, baby' bounce around his skull like an echo through an empty cavern.

"A little insurance policy in case the dinner party was a bore." Eddie unscrews the lid; takes a wincing swig. "Would have taken boring over this, though. Think I might’ve gotten a little more excitement than I bargained for." "Yeah,” Steve laughs under his breath. "You think?"

Eddie passes him the flask, sets to lighting all the wicks while Steve takes a shot. The whiskey is cheap, and it stings on the way down, but it's nice. Warm. Liquid amber in his chest, glowing like the candlelight Eddie sparks to life.

Eddie settles down beside him. With the workbench at their backs and the warm tint to the room, it's almost cozy. Reminds him of backyard sleepovers with Tommy; a little fortress built for two.

“Do you think they’re still listening?” Eddie's eyes flit to the stairs.

“Probably." Steve takes another swig, gesturing to the shadows beyond their makeshift camp. "He probably got Suzie to help him bug this whole place."

"Ah, yes. The crazy hot, crazy smart summer camp girlfriend who totally exists."

"She does, actually,” Steve laughs, “if you can believe it."

"No shit?"

"I know, right? I mean, like..." He scratches the side of his nose. "She's Mormon and lives all the way out in Utah, so it's not exactly like... but, whatever. He's super into her, so—"

"Hold up. Dustin's dating a Mormon?" Eddie says it like he’s spitting sunflower hulls. "That's almost worse than her being fake."

“What, you got some kinda history with Mormons?”

“Oh, yeah," Eddie snorts derisively. "The Mormons and I go waaay back."

"Wait, for real?" Was Eddie in a cult? Because that would actually explain so much.

"Dude. No. Hell no. Those fuckers love to solicit the downtrodden, though. They show up at the park all the time.”

“Great,” Steve deadpans. Another wonderful amenity of the Forest Hills experience.

“Don’t worry. Wayne usually just crosses himself at them until they go away.” He makes the sign of the cross, his rings glinting in the light. “Catholic middle-aged men and LDS teens, now there’s some quality petty drama.”

“So you’re Catholic, then?” Steve asks.

“Jesus, Harrington. We’re supposed to be kissing and making up and you want to start a religious debate?”

No, he absolutely does not. He wants to make fun of Eddie, because, "That’s the second time you’ve mentioned kissing." Eddie’s cheeks go horribly pink; peach tint in the deep orange glow. “First you wanna suck my blood at dinner, now you’re talking about making out. What next?” Steve teases. “You gonna offer to suck my dick?”

He means it as a joke — a slightly rude one, sure; insinuating, but still. He expects Eddie to get it, to roll his eyes and play along. Ha ha, Harrington.

When he used to say shit like this to Tommy, Tommy would always just laugh and shove him off, tell him to go suck it yourself.

Only Eddie doesn’t laugh.

Eddie goes quiet. Runs his tongue over his teeth. He fixes Steve with one of those looks; the kind that make him feel like a burglar caught in a flood light’s beam. “Why?" he teases back. "Did you want me to or something?”

—

part 17

tag list below the cut comment if you want to be added to the next one

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[criminal-sen]

Alright fuck, here we go. I did that Then And Now thing I said I was gonna do. So here's my 2016 art I was pretty proud of at the time:

And 2024 using the same type of pen (Bic ballpoint I am SO sick of bic ballpoint but it's done omfg)

I'm pretty proud of this one too (i spent SO fuckjng long on it, if i wasnt proud of it, I'd probably be devastated smh):3 And uhhhh idk if the old one had a premise beyond Mayuri looking vaguely spooky amidst some tech.. but by the last panel of the new one, I decided he's running some diagnostics on his brain (aka trying to figure out wtf is wrong with him) and you can take this to be as 'haha he needs to know why he's so weird' lighthearted or 'oh shit that has heavy implications' serious as you want:3

Below the cut is just another pic of the new one that I tried to doctor a bit (Bic ballpoint also sucks to photograph cuz it is shiny), figured I'd use a basic ass photo for comparison just like the old one, wanted to be level on all fields so I can properly pummel my old self>:3

Btw the paper I used for this has been perfectly fine for literally everything else - that being pencil sketches and felt tip pen - I have Ever done on it, yet between ballpoint needing a heavier hand, loads of re-sketching and erasing, then just.. my hand being all over it for several hours, it was SO warped and ready to crumple and/or tear. Like. I have better paper. I have SO MUCH fucking paper. But here I am using the shittiest stuff I have bc uh... fjddhvdvdvd idfk:p

It's sketch paper btw. Like when u see a sketchpad that's just as big as the ones surrounding it, but it's mysteriously way cheaper? Then u open it up and feel the paper and yr like

Yah it's that paper

[jsprnt]

Americano PT. 10 | Jude Bellingham x Reader

What happens if two individuals who absolutely despise each other are forced to interact after unforeseen events occur?

A/N: wrote this in between study breaks, I’m totally spent 😭😭

W/C: 3.523

part nine

"So, uh- do you have any allergies?"

I mutter awkwardly, standing in the middle of the kitchen, eyes on Jude as he sits across from me at the kitchen island.

He folds his arms across his chest, raising his head to look over at me.

"Are you planning something?" He eyes me suspiciously, causing a tired sigh to leave my mouth.

"Shut up- answer the question.." I raise my wooden spoon, threatening him.

"No, I don't have any allergies. Is that good enough?" He replies, Brum accent making him sound even more defensive.

"Ungrateful ass.." I mutter, turning around and starting to work on breakfast.

I had slept horribly after last night’s events. I'd reckon- maybe, six hours in total. It was our day off- thankfully, but that didn't mean that I trusted Jude to rummage through my house on his own while I rotted away in bed.

My dad had called earlier, wanting to explain the situation to me clearly without leaving any important details out.

Apparently, last night Jude's place was broken into again. This time, he was at home to actually witness it happen. I'm not sure what transpired between the intruder and Jude. Since, my dad had told me it would be too invasive for me to know.

From what I knew, it was the same person as last time- or how many damn times this had happened. This case had been keeping my dad busy for months now, and it only found a way to piss me off even more.

Either Jude had the shittiest security, or- did he even have security?

"Can't believe I'm cooking for you.." I mutter, hearing the drag of his house slippers against the floor as he walks up to me.

"What are you making?"

I move away, so he doesn't touch me, giving him a side eye as I crack four eggs in a pan.

"Eggs.." I say, moving back when oil splashes up.

"Can you cook?" He asks, eyes moving in between the stove and my face.

"Kind of.." I say, hesitating with my reply.

I knew how to cook the basics. Say, your pastas and soups. Though, I like to think I'm improving every time auntie Carmen comes over to show me how to cook another delicious meal.

"How do you like your eggs?" I ask, raising my head to look up at him. He has a confused expression on his face and his gaze is fixed on me.

Fuck, did that sound wrong?

"More runny or cooked?" I ask, grimacing to myself as I sprinkle salt and pepper into the pan.

"You've cooked it- enough.."

"Oh, okay.." I mentally curse at how stupid I sound, looking away from him.

I quickly plate it up for him, not forgetting the avocado and barely toasted pieces of bread.

Well, too bad for him.

We eat our breakfast without speaking to each other. I can only hear the crunch of my bread and clatter of the cutlery against the plates.

I look up at him when I've cleared my plate, wiping crumbs from the corners of my mouth.

"How long are you staying?"

"Are you trying to kick me out already?"

I give him a look, raising my brows as if to tell him he already knows my answer.

"I don't know- depends on the situation.." He says, rubbing his hands against his gray sweatpants.

I sigh, rubbing my temples in irritation.

"Where's your mom anyway?" I ask, remembering that they literally lived together.

"I made her go back to England for my brother’s games. She's always spending more time with me- felt bad for the lad.." He answers, looking away.

"Last night?" I ask, raising my voice in surprise.

"No, during international break. I wasn't playing remember.."

"Oh- that's good, I guess.." I trail off, realizing we're going to be home alone for a while.

Silence falls in between us, and I begin picking at the loose threads of my old pajama top. It was old, but so comfy to sleep in.

"Okay, uh- let's clean up, and I'll give you a quick tour of the place." I jump up from my seat, grabbing my plate off the table, and walk over to the sink.

I look back when he doesn't get up. I raise a brow, sending him a questioning look.

"What are you doing? Clean up.." I say, waving him over. I watch him grab his plate and cutlery- a comical sight that had me struggling to keep my composure.

He places the plate in front of me, looking at me like he's expecting me to do something.

I step back, folding my arms.

Woah, he looked clueless.

"Do you even know how to do- like the dishes or laundry?" I ask, eyeing him up and down.

"Not really.."

"You're what? Twenty and don't know how to do your own laundry?" I pull a horrified face.

"Do you think it's okay to freeload?" I question, immediately grabbing his wrist to drag him upstairs to the laundry room.

Did he think this was a five-star hotel or something?

"I can't believe I have to drive you there. Why don't you have a license?" I whine, walking into the bathroom and seeing him fix his hair. The array of skincare, haircare and bodycare all on the counter in front of him.

Why did I think that he only used a block of soap and aftershave?

He turns away from the mirror, taking a step closer to me as I passive aggressively grab my toothbrush.

"Why wouldn't you want to drive me?" He questions, his voice full of mockery.

I wet my toothbrush and the blob of toothpaste, starting to brush my teeth as I look up at him.

"Do you know how crazy it looks for a staff member to arrive with a player in her car?"

I mumble, probably half audible, as I spit foam into the sink.

He grimaces at me, and I watch him take a step away from me via the mirror.

"Oh, you're dramatic.." I mumble, running the brush over my teeth again.

"Everyone thinks we're together anyway- does it even matter at this point?"

I freeze, turning to him with white foam dripping down the corner of my mouth.

"That's even worse.." I shake my head, giving him a once-over before starting to rinse my mouth.

"Pre-match meal is at...?" I question, waiting for him to finish the sentence while I dry my hands and mouth.

"Half past two." He replies, making me nod.

"Okay- give me an hour.." I say, quickly running to my room to change and get ready.

It was match day against Granada. Thankfully, after this we got some more days off.

We had to get to the training center early, mainly due the fact that I had become Jude’s private driver.

When my father told me I had to drive him around, I almost fell to my knees in sheer despair, not believing the torture I had to go through.

I didn’t even get anything in return, well, maybe I’d bug my dad for another pretty handbag- or two.

Pre-match meals are usually about three to four hours before the match. Normally, I could arrive very late and still manage to snatch a nice plate, but because of Jude - that wasn't possible today, and probably until he’s moved out of my place.

y/n's only half-way through her 'getting ready' playlist when she hears multiple loud knocks on her bedroom door.

"What?! Stop banging on my door! You don't even pay rent!" She shouts over the music, watching the door handle twist.

She turns away from her vanity mirror, makeup brush in her hand, as she sees Jude walk into her room.

"Who invited you in?" She questions, gasping when he goes to sit on her nicely made bed, wrinkling the fabric.

"Me, you’re taking so-” He begins, but he's immediately cut off when she shouts.

"Wait- shut up.."

She says, turning away to sing along with the song currently playing from her phone.

"We do the things but we know it's wrong

All on my skin, you all in my palm

I sent you a envelope, came with a poem

You possess venom that came with a charm

You get the good out me when I perform

I know the bad in you, that's what I want

And you a baddie, you turnin' me on."

Seems like she forgets he's even in her room, singing along to the Future verse while she dots a good amount of blush on the apples of her cheek.

He sighs loudly, continuing to stare at her from behind. She doesn’t notice at all, now way too invested into getting ready while listening to her favorite songs.

Jude runs a frustrated hand over his face, taking in the way she sings along with the all-too-familiar-sounding song lyrics, hoping she can hurry up soon.

"Do I have to take you home too?" I ask, getting up from the comfy chair I'm in. Following Jude towards the dressing room. Relieved after a 2-0 win against Granada.

The sound of his cleats hitting the floor is loud, and I stop right at the entrance of the dressing room when he stops in his tracks.

"I can call a taxi, probably.."

I search his face for any annoyance or anger, but don't see anything like it. Instead, in a strangely familiar way- his eyes are wide and expressive. He looks more unsure and uncomfortable than I've ever seen him.

"It's fine- we're going to the same house anyway.." I whisper, dismissing his words with a wave. 

"I have to go back to the training center though.. Can you stand tagging along with me?" I question, raising my brows in anticipation.

"Yeah, I'll just get freshened up really quick.." He says, stepping inside and closing the door since he was the last player to enter.

After saying bye to everyone, I sneakily walk up to my car. Almost jumping out of my skin when I see Jude already standing at the passenger door.

"What are you- get in.." I sigh, unlocking the door and stepping in.

The ride over to the training center is awkward and quiet, to say the least. I'm not in the mood to look through my playlist- and I'm sure he isn't either, by the way he's busy scrolling on his phone.

I park my car in my designated spot in the staff parking lot, looking over at him.

"Do you want to stay in the car?" I ask, unbuckling my seatbelt, and glancing at him.

"No, I'll come with you.." He replies, stepping out of the passenger’s seat and following me inside.

"I need to leave this bag here.." I inform, locking the car as the both of us walk inside the center.

He doesn't reply, not that it's necessary.

I walk up to the office, still hearing Jude walk right behind me.

"You're following me like a lost puppy.." I mutter, unlocking the door of the room I'm supposed to leave the equipment in.

"Okay, damn, I'll be downstairs.." He sneers, turning away and leaving immediately.

I shrug to myself when he leaves, finishing my business before going down as well.

I shove my keys into my bag, swinging it on my shoulder, then go looking around for Jude.

I enter the meeting room he and other players would hang out in, but don't see him. Stepping out, I look up from the door, walking in and out of the other meeting rooms.

"Where the fuck are you?" I mutter, reaching for my phone to call him, only to remember that I don't even have his phone number.

"Looking for something?"

I almost scream out loud when I hear a deep voice behind me. I turn, trying to not look like the person scared the crap out of me.

Oh, the creepy coworker. How fun.

"No, just dropped off some equipment upstairs.." I quickly say, rubbing my hand against my jeans.

I watch his eyes flicker to the keycard around my neck, which I forgot to take off.

"Coming from Bernabéu, y/n?"

Why did he know my name?

"Yeah, busy day.."

He stares at me, not saying anything else. I mentally hype myself up to say something, maybe to learn more about him.

"What's your name? We've seen each other around, but I don't know your name.” I say, shifting nervously as his blue eyes peer into mine.

"Andrés, fitness department. I'm new.." He says, sticking out a ghostly hand for me to shake.

"Right, nice to meet you. I would introduce myself too, but you seem to know already. How come?" His grip is tight, so I tighten it even more.

Give me a rough handshake, and I’ll break your hand out of pettiness.

"Everyone here knows you.." He replies, there is a harsh, but breathiness to his voice and it causes chills to run down my spine.

I clear my throat, realizing he still hasn't let go of my hand.

"Because of my father, yeah.." I fake a chuckle, trying to pull my hand back.

"No, not because of mister l/n.." My breath hitches audibly at his tone, and I try to snatch my hand back even more forcefully.

He doesn't even flinch, continuing to stare down at me.

"y/n, here you are.." I hear a familiar voice say, breaking out of this weird fucking trance.

My head snaps up, my eyes going wide, when I see Jude stepping out of the meeting room I had not checked out yet.

I use the opportunity to snatch my hand away from Andrés, rubbing my hand to fix my blood flow.

I watch Jude give him a look, death stare imminent when he walks up to us.

"Andrés? What are you doing here, it's late." He says, for some reason, slower than I have ever heard him speak.

"Work, busy.." He answers, trying to speak English with a broken Spanish accent.

Oh, he didn't speak English?

I watch a strange interaction between them, a jumble of Spanish and English. I try my best to understand, but it seems like both men throw in some gibberish too.

Finally, when they're done with their simlish, I'm grabbed by my hand, dragged away by Jude.

"What the hell is his problem?" I exclaim, still feeling my hand ache from the pressure.

"He's been fuckin' weird, don’t like him..” He mutters, walking ahead of me while still dragging me along.

I struggle to catch up with his long strides, his warm palm pressing into mine as he looks back at me.

"You okay?" He questions, stopping abruptly, causing me to smash my face against his arm.

"Ow- not anymore.." I mutter, rubbing my nose in agony with my free hand.

"Oh- shit, sorry.." He spits, his hand still on mine. I remove my hand from my face, raising my chin to look up at him.

"Am I bleeding?" A dramatic question, but you never knew with his rock-hard, muscular- arms..

I blink up at him, feeling his hand come up to my chin. He pinches my face, making me move my head.

"No, no blood- I think.." He breathes out, eyes roaming around my face to check for any blood.

I make sudden, close eye contact with him. His brown eyes catching mine, breath fanning my face.

We stare at each other for a moment. His hand still clearly on mine while he cups my face to look at me.

I realize the position we're in and step back. I eye our intertwined hands, looking back up at him as if to tell him to let go.

He clears his throat, dropping my hand like it's hot, and stepping back.

I decide to pretend I don't give a fuck. Ignoring the drumming of my heart, and grab my car key out of my bag.

"Get in.."

"Smash.." I say, maybe for the 10th time this hour.

"Oh my days, can you stop saying that?" Jude exclaims, a bewildered expression on his face as he looks over at me.

"Can't, it's Michael B. Jordan, and you want me to sit still?" I ask, earning a grunt from him.

"You're unbelievable.."

I ignore him, continuing to drool over the screen while I shove popcorn into my mouth.

"What are you going to do? You're off for four days.." I ask, sprawled out on the couch, in front of the TV.

"I have physical therapy every day, can't leave the city.." He complains, sitting on the couch across from me.

"Oh, how inconvenient- wait, who's driving you?.."

"Don't you worry, I've got someone driving me.." He sneers, folding his arms.

I roll my eyes, going back to watch the movie on the screen.

A hot man could make a boring movie so incredibly interesting.

"I'm not home tomorrow. Will you survive being home alone for the rest of your day?" I question, flickering my eyes back to him.

"Where are you going?"

"Taking my last exam, library helps me focus better.." I stuff another handful of popcorn into my mouth.

"Last one?"

"Yeah, I need to go revise a little." I sit up, pausing the movie, and getting up from the couch.

"Have it.." I shove the bowl of popcorn into his hands, walking up the stairs to my room. Ready for this exam to be over already.

“What the fuck was that.." I whisper to myself, hitting my head on my steering wheel repeatedly. I had long driven home from the library, not caring to step out of the car, parked in the driveway.

I had studied hours on end, but when I was presented with the questions, my brain practically short circuited, causing me to blank out so much information I needed to know.

I'm on the verge of tears at this point. Normally, after the last exam of the semester, I'd be jumping from joy, but the way this exam had gone- I wanted to cry buckets of tears.

I sniffle, wiping my nose with my sleeve. Not caring about the foundation stain left on it, and grab my bag from the backseat. I get out of my car, unlocking the front door of my house quickly.

I expect the house to be quiet, but instead I hear loud music. Old 80s songs, solely about love. Music only I knew auntie Carmen loved listening to while cooking.

I drop my bag at the front door, blinking repeatedly to hide the tears in my eyes. I shrug my jacket off, the December cold had come in full force. Though, to me, nothing was worse than winter in London anyway.

"Harina, say it, young man.." I hear auntie Carmen say in Spanish, a voice following behind her.

"Harina? Harina.." A broken accented voice says. I raise my brows, my tears and worries in the back of my mind now.

Curiosity takes over, and I immediately walk towards the kitchen, where the noises are coming from.

I'm greeted by the sight of auntie Carmen and Jude standing next to each other. Both wearing aprons as they are kneading dough on the kitchen island. Flour sprinkled on the marble as I hear Jude repeat random Spanish words, often getting corrected by my auntie.

She didn't even speak a lick of English. How did they even communicate?

I clear my throat, taking their attention away from the slabs of dough on the counter.

"Oh- you're home.." She smiles warmly at me, beckoning me over with a flour-covered hand.

"What's this?" I ask, stepping closer and speaking in Spanish.

"We're making pizza from scratch, sweetie." She says, giving me a kiss on my cheek.

"With him?" I point to Jude, watching him pound the dough with unnecessary aggression.

"What do you mean? Jude is so good at this, look at him go..” She smiles, saying his name with the utmost affection. He looks up confused, but I ignore him further.

What the hell did he do to make her like him already?

"Your boyfriend is a better cook than you already..”

I pull a horrified face, eyes going wide as my arms fall to my sides. I glance at Jude, noticing that he hadn’t even flinched at the words.

Thankfully, his Spanish classes weren’t so advanced yet…

I lean in close to her, whispering, well whisper-shouting.

“He’s not my boyfriend..” I say, pulling a face. I watch the corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles.

“I know, I’m just joking. Your dad called me about this entire situation already..”

“Why would you say that, then?”

“He’s handsome, isn’t he..” She says out loud, making me facepalm.

First, he steals my dad’s time, then my house, and now my auntie?

I look at him, watching him knead the dough, a smirk forming on his face.

I want to strangle him right here and now..

It’s only been a couple days, and this was too much for me already.

[seirei-bh]

Summary and opinions of Jason's route ep 5! SPOILERS

Well, well, well, if you're the Jason route, congratulations, my friend! We're celebrating here with cocktails and ugly sobs because we FINALLY get a moment with Jason that last more than two minutes! + a moment alone with him! applauses!

In general it was a good ep, I liked it! I still need to play it with other routes to get a complete opinion, but I enjoyed it.

And now, before continuing, this post contains BIG SPOILERS!!! about this ep in this route, so if you prefer to enjoy the content of the ep by yourself I REALLY recommend that you wait until the day of the general release and play it before read this.

Btw keep in mind that I'm going to make this post with humorous notes on purpose, so pls take it in good vibes!

As soon as I started the ep I got angry because Thomas was two hours late to work without any consequences -Devon was 100% ok with that, like???- while my Sucrette was awake since 7AM as a clown, and then she had to hear how Roy and Amanda argued over a cool project and about how Thomas got the coolest one and then they let my Sucrette take care of the shittiest project of all, thanks Devenementiel! I felt loved and considered! I'll be happy to betray all of you soon! :D Except you, Elenda, you're a sweetheart and wonderful, pls be my wife. I love you, honey.

My sucrette Lily proceeded to take on the project herself without ask help and without making any calls to the client (because she's stupid and because I wanted she suffered alone so Jason could manipulate her later, I'm evil yeees), and ofc she ended up screwing up. Then Elenda tried to cheer us up and then my sucrette went for a walk alone to catch a depression for having disappointed Devon, her coworkers and even her goose. Dishonor on your goose, girl!

Then we found Jason in the park!! Basically our girl was seeing her life passing away in front of her eyes and then our lovely knight came to make fun of her, like a perfect Fool knight in a fairy tale. I swear this man has to have a location chip on us that also detects our emotions, otherwise Idk how we match up with him in every episode XDDD I guess his cell phone alerts him and he will go into "OMG my future wife need my bad jokes! I must go with her so she notices me!" and he runs out of his office.

In short, he offer us his help while he tries to hide his horns, his trident and the infernal flames from the ground , we end up telling him our problem because Sucrette is an idiot, and we make a deal with the devil, but not before Jason telling us to ask him nicely like "pleasee help me", and my Sucrette goes into: desire to kill increasing mode. Jason calls Danica to get info about the project, and while we wait for her response, Jason smirks and thanks us for liking his Instagram photo, while Sucrette tries not to k*ll him. When he gets the info very proud, she also mocks him and comments that "If you track everyone like this, it's no wonder you already have gray hair." and Jason responds that it's not from stress or age, it's poliosis, and that it's hereditary, and his father had them too. And there I wanted my Sucrette to shut up, lol, I'm embarrassed, girl.

Then comes my favorite moment: Jason takes us to Goldreamz!! Here we get a tense scene in which he touches Sucrette's back, they look at each other intensely, she has contradictory feelings because she thinks she's betraying her Devenementiel's coworkers, she doubs about his intentions, and then… *laughs* I love sm this:

Jason is sooo proud of his office and his company that asks Sucrette her opinion about it, Sucrette comments that she has no opinion on it, like meh~ I'm not impressed, man, this is Ikea, and Jason responds like a total offended diva XD Then he counterattacks by making fun of Devenementiel's decoration and both tease each other like always. I love my two fools.

His expression was priceless. And she doesn't give a f***, lmao, tell him, girl. This pathetic man wanted to impress sm his queen and he failed. Someone should call the ambulance, the rival boss is having a shock *laughs*

Next, they both discuss the processes they will follow for the project, Sucrette contributing ideas and Jason getting her very good and surprising contacts. Then there's another of my favorite moments, Jason shows briefly vulnerable when Sucrette asks him a couple of personal questions about his childhood. Jason reveals to us that his parents were not millionaires, that his birthday parties were quite modest, and that his father died when he was a teenager, and then he ends the conversation. And I wanted to hug him.

Here I want to give my opinion. This is the first time that we get info about his family and I'm surprised! Because I thought Jason came from a rich family, like Amanda, and the plot twist about his father leaves me intrigued. The only thing I can theorize now at least is that Jason became an ambitious person perhaps due to this, and I wonder what exactly happened to his father, whether he died from an accident or illness.

Finally, Sucrette thanks him and Jason tells her that she shouldn't forget that now she has an outstanding debt with him that she'll have to pay at some point, dramatic pause----! He doesn't tell us what he wants, but I've a couple of ideas: either Jason will try to get something from Devenementiel by using us (despite Sucrette told him she would never betray Devenementiel) or he will try to get us to go on a date with him to a dinner or an event, without we won't be able to reject his invitation, to try to seduce us.

I already suspected that Sucrette on his route would end up visiting Goldreamz at some point, but I admit I didn't expect it to be so soon! It was a pleasant surprise. We didn't meet Danica and Spencer yet though.

After that, Sucrette presents to her colleagues at Devenementiel the project she has worked on with Jason, without meantion him ofc, Devon congratulates her, Elenda hugs her (my queen Elenda being the best girl always), and Sucrette feels horribly uncomfortable because she thinks she is betraying all of her coworkers by hiding the truth about Jason's help. Hahaha, I'm really would like Devon and the others finds out that Jason helped us, I want to see their reaction *evil masochistic laugh*

At the end I had the date with Roy at the pool, since I will do the ones with Amanda and Thomas in a few days. I loved it! Roy's illu is so beautiful, so colorful and bright! <3 Although Beemoov are cowards for not giving us mermanRoy, he'd have look so hot! U__U Regarding Jason's illus with him in the company, I also really liked the intimacy and tension of the scene, and the detail that their faces are in shadow, as to emphasize the forbidden nature of that secret meeting and that you're making a deal with the devil.

About the PAs, I spent around 1.700, but I forgot to use jokers this time, so I guess for other people could be cheaper.

You can also get a sea background for your room and furniture of that theme in your closet at the end of the ep. They are available to buy whatever you want. I used the background for my bedroom and I love how it looks!

[chasedeys]

https://www.tumblr.com/chasedeys/767908190114447360/httpswwwtumblrcomchasedeys767907676016476160

Jesus Christ he pulled up on Joe ???! I need this devotion

he did 😔😔🤚🤚🤚

the Lakers Date in gifset form and in video form like look at joe staring at ja'marr like that and giggling and shit oh my god joe ja'marr is sure as hell funnier than you but really? ja'marr putting his arms around joe which is just. yeah. look at that little scratch and then actually reaching his arms out and then just saying something short and random 😭 you know. casual. and joe barely reacting to it ok whatever. oh and also there's this hilarious twitter thread in reaction to it lmao.

this is the wowing backstory (everyone say thank you to carmen's big brain!!) to the date and kind of why this felt like a psychological attack beyond the implication that this was A Basketball Date. basically ja'marr flew his ass to arizona for joe because the man was having the shittiest week and was sooooo weirdly messy about it because he posted a vague blurry ass insta story of his location and then deleted it (?????) god what is wrong with him. like the photo was obviously a quick little snap of him in a car with just a location posted in the middle of the night like it didn't matter what the pic was only the location and was posted the minute he arrived (?) like he was announcing where he was for a very specific reason and then deleted it like it served its purpose and he didn't need it anymore. (is that not basic teenager in love 101........)

on joe being miserable -> like joe went to a club and flipped people off and i think one of the events he had was the signing with obj and kd (beloved kevin durant <3 but its sooo random why the fuck was kd there im so confused as to what this event was) and joe's expressions throughout all the videos and photos were either flat as fuck or straight up not-enjoying-shit. the next time he gets snapped in public it's with ja'marr on a basketball court with matching outfits finally smiling and laughing right and doing silly shit like clapping all up against ja'marr's face like a besotted dork......mind you he clapped because ja'marr was on camera probably getting introduced to the stadium so everyone could technically see it so it was like he was teasing the ever living shit out of ja'marr who was trying to be all cool throwing peace signs only to get stunted on by his embarrassing ass man who just wouldn't let him live jesus i'm sorry but i'm genuinely wondering why he clapped that way. look at his impish little smile joe oh my god stop.

but he was really finally acting all goofy and silly and smiling and laughing genuinely when ja'marr showed up and yapped at him!!!!!!! insane. shining example of devotion and codependency tbh.

some Speculation! which i love to do unfortunately for everyone around me:

this was planned from the start way before joe went through apparent hell or something. they bought the tickets way back with dj and sam and this was like the only thing joe looked forward to which is why he was finally smiling and laughing and actually managed to get through the week.

from that event they had together kd gave tickets to obj (pretty sure he was also there but like on the opposite side of the court?? idk) and joe and joe requested/bought more tickets and invited ja'marr and sam and dj because he was in heavy need of Friendship Love Moral Support from his guys. yeah.

(the favorite. the full of love theory) ja'marr found out joe was Going Through It (from joe himself? from obj? from his manager? the internet? other friends? who knows) and flew his ass to arizona having bought the plane ticket within minutes of ending the call/text regarding the joe situation. knew joe needed some refreshing/healing so he searched up what arizona had going on for them that week or he was planning on watching the game from his home anyway idk and immediately bought court-side tickets for the game. invited dj and sam so joe would be surrounded by more close friends who he would feel comforted by. arrived in phoenix in the middle of the night, snapped a quick photo for ig announcing where he was, joe saw it and sent ???????? in reply, ja'marr then deletes the ig story bc he doesn't want anyone else asking shit too, and finally crashed joe's pity party and has him smiling within minutes. am i crazy. yes. am i free. also yes.

THE CLOTHES THING they're literally wearing yellow and purple -> lakers and coincidentally lsu's colors!!! technically suns' too i think. did they plan on matching or did they each plan on wearing lakers colors in the first place (these divas...) and just had that one-brain-ism thing they got going on. ja'marr was sooooo pretty btw 😭😭 his faceeeee the dimple the hairrrr i miss his cornrows he looks sooo good in bright mustard yellow toooooo somebody save me from myself.

OH and dj reader and sam were there too okay 😭 like they weren't there alone. that la lunch date was like this lakers date 2.0 bc they weren't alone damn it but it weirdly seems that way 😭 when you're in love etc. or maybe because they just weren't mentioned as much as these two :( but I'm really pleased that joe could smile surrounded by his teammates <3 joy etc.

okay bye 😭

[girlfromthecrypt]

[only read if you're ok with some emotionally heavy stuff and very vague, light spoilers. could use advice]

So I have just come up with a story branch that would give the MC the option to be a horrible person. In short, if I implement this, an MC with a crush on Sawyer would be given the possibility to sleep with Sawyer while they're in a terribly low place. Basically take advantage of them. That scene also wouldn't be described bc I could never write that one explicitly (my heart kind of broke when I thought of it in the first place).

That's not all, though.

This decision would indirectly cause Sawyer's death.

Yes, I know, I feel awful for just thinking this up. And Sawyer will be so sad to die. I don't want them to die. I don't want to write them dying. But I would love for this IF to have actual, truly horrible consequences if MC chooses to be a bad person. And I think I could write it so so well. Like, I'd be crying while writing, but it'd be good. And SHC was going to be pretty heavy in the end there anyways, and Sawyer's backstory was already very depressing, so it's not like this path would be a huge tonal shift if implemented.

But it's probably the shittiest thing the MC can do in the entire story.

So, I'm kind of torn, as you can see. I was hoping for some thoughts. Talk to me, please?

[victorclays]

Okay okay okay i have another assessment of the scene where Dundy and Little say they should think about leaving the men behind!

I love that they had Crozier clock the look that Dundy gives Little to tell him to suggest it. Because while I'm sure Edward sees the like... reasoning for it. I think he's also extremely ashamed for suggesting it. Like, he doesn't want to lave them behind. But he wants to live.

And they're all so sick. And it IS an option, and judging by what happens later, I'm sure at least a handful of the "healthy" men have been talking about it too. To their leaders im sure, which are Dundy and Edward.

But i also feel like, maybe Dundy pressed it more. He's like, we should do this. I think he thinks its THEE option. And I love that you can see that Crozier sees that. He knows his men. And he can see that while yes Edward voiced it first, at Dundy's pressing, he also sees that Edward is not set on the idea.

He's nervous saying it, can barely look at Crozier or Jopson. And then Crozier, bless him, forgives Edward on the spot for saying it.

He literally looks at Edward when he says "it's a reasonable logic. And i don't fault anyone..for....following it." He looks at him specifically when he says "following it" like he's pretty sure it wasn't Ned's idea, that he's following what Dundy and some of the other men have suggested maybe?!?!?!

And Edward stops pushing for it, just hangs his head in shame basically, after a long stare down with Jopson. Who keeps staring at him after he hangs his head. More on that in a second...

But Dundy keeps pushing. And Crozier gently continues to decline. Which is all he can really do, at that time. Give better options of things to leave behind.

The thing that got me this rewatch really though, aside from Edward's shame which is just, ever present at the end i think, is how fucking sick Jopson looks, in this scene.

Like they all look tired, Edward looks exhausted. Dundy definitely looks thin and starving. But Thomas looks sick. And we know he has injuries from the past that HAD to have been acting up.

He has some kind if scabby thing at his hairline already. And he just looks so bad. Like, when he said it would be a death sentence for "those men" he knew it meant him as well. He had too.

And it just hurts so fucking much, because his captain looked him in the eyes and told him he wouldn't leave him, and he gets left behind anyway.

And the shittiest part is like... it didnt save them. Leaving the men behind. Whatever happened in their camp as they went was very obviously pretty fucking horrible. And i know they wanted to live, but like, fuck.

If only someone had at least told Jopson what was happening. He didn't even know Crozier was gone. Just thought he was being left behind by the man who promised he'd never do that.... I'm fine. It's fine. I'm good. *having a breakdown*