#So a lot quieter and a lot less overtime
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Happy New Year, everyone! Wishing you all a lovely start and that 2024 treats you with the love and respect you deserve. Speaking of starts, I've tentatively opened my inbox across my numerous blogs and will be going through them throughout the week, clearing out asks I no longer have any muse for since 2023 was quite the downer (and was probably the same for other people too.) Here's to a fresh start and some early(!) spring cleaning!
#đ || ooc#;; positivity#Happy 2024 to all my lovely mutuals!#Here's hoping you all had fun celebrations and aren't nursing too much of a hangover#In regards to asks I won't be clearing all of them out#Probably just meme things since this blog is an absolute mess at this point and really needs a clean#Good thing that can be done soon#I've rested up and rejuventated and have 2 weeks off after this one!#Plenty of time to get back into things since work will be calm until Easter#So a lot quieter and a lot less overtime
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im a ftm girl w a small chest n big clit.. your blog is so hot and I really wanna show myself Iâm just shy.. have a good dayđ©·đ©·đ©·
The trick is to keep rubbing your fat clit to blogs like mine. Keep masturbating to descriptions of girls giving up, to confessions from your fellow ftm that what started out as a secret fantasy to occasionally indulge in is now ruining their lives â that they canât and donât want to stop. That they want their life ruined so they can become good girls full time. Donât stop cumming to transphobic reminders that your identity is not real, itâs just perversion. You canât stop cumming to being shown that in the end, you are just a cunt.
You wonât feel it right away, but overtime youâll realize youâre a lot less firm with your boundaries. Your limits keep getting pushed more and more. The little voice in the back of your head that says âI canât do thatâ or âIâm scaredâ keeps getting quieter and quieter, and the throbbing of your pussy is getting louder and louder. You wonât notice it until itâs too late. You wonât notice until youâve sent several pictures of your dripping wet fuckhole and your swollen clit and your perky nipples to a real manâs dms, pleading for him to tell you what heâd do to your girly body.
Keep touching yourself. Keep playing. You will get the courage to reach out like a big girl. You will beg a real man for his guidance. You wonât be able to stop yourself.
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jeno: friends to lovers
Word count: 826
Warnings: none :)
Notes: this is Jeno's part of 'nct dream as love tropes', enjoy!
Both you and Jeno have been in the same friend group since freshman year in college, making this year the third year of you two being friends. Youâve liked him for two years now. But youâve been too shy to do anything, so you were fine with just staying as friends. Afterall, Jeno isnât any less shy than you. He was always sweet and attentive, helping his friends silently and not expecting anything in return. He was like the guardian angel of the group, always showing up when someone is in trouble to problem solve or merely be a shoulder to lean on.
Among your friend group, Jeno and you were considered close. Itâs not like you two were best friends, but it was always comfortable. Youâve even hung out one on one before, usually to study together or to just go eat together when the others chose to engage in activities too extroverted for the two of you. You try your best to not let your feelings get in the way but itâs so difficult because Jeno was always so sweet to you. He would help you carry your bag if he noticed you carried a lot out that day. Despite being shy, Jeno would offer to order for you because youâve mentioned once you get nervous when ordering food in public. Once, you were so sick and couldnât attend classes for almost a week and Jeno took notes for you in the classes you shared without you even asking. But then again, Jeno was always nice to everyone, so what makes you so special?
Little did you know that your crush was not as one-sided as you thought it was. Jenoâs been crushing on you ever since Renjun introduced you to the group. You were cute, always so easy-going even though you were kind of shy. Jeno initially brushed his little crush aside. But overtime, he only grew to really like you. Jeno swears he was trying not to be obvious but Renjun caught on somehow and encouraged him to ask you out. Jeno was quick to shut Renjunâs suggestion down because he didnât want things to get awkward between the two of you. âI wonât do thatâ âWhy not? I think the two of you would be so cute togetherâ âI really like y/n but I canât risk our friendship over this. Itâs selfish and what if we drift because of it? I donât want thatâŠâÂ
And Jeno was genuinely fine with never telling you if it means the two of you could remain friends for a long time. All this sweet boy wanted was just to care for you and support you even if itâs just as your friend. Maybe he didnât know how much he really liked you because why was his entire day ruined from the moment he found out from Jaemin that Yeonjun asked for your number. He couldnât focus in his classes that day, his mind was filled with all sorts of questions. Did you give Yeonjun your number? Was Yeonjun going to ask you out? Would you say yes? Was this jealousy? He canât imagine you and Yeonjun together, he doesnât want to. Jeno thinks he has to do something before itâs too late. Itâs the first time the thought of actually confessing to you ever crossed his mind.Â
So when the two of you met to study that evening, Jeno was oddly quieter than usual and you caught on pretty quick. âIs everything okay? You seem stressedâ, yes. Yes he was, stressed over you, over this warm, ugly, tightening feeling in his chest. âItâs nothing,â Jeno replied with a smile, a little too forced. You chuckle because Jeno is so bad at lying and ask him again. âWe can talk about it if you want to. Whatâs stressing you out so much?â âI heard Yeonjun asked for your numberâ.Â
Was this what was stressing him out? You were a little taken aback by how straightforward Jeno was being but you replied anyway. âOh⊠ya he didâ âSo, are you going to go out with him?â âUm, I donât know he hasnât a-â âDonâtâŠâ Jeno said, just loud enough for you to hear before he continues to look through his notes. âBut⊠why?â Jeno peeks up at you before mumbling something softly, you would have missed it if you werenât waiting attentively for his reply.Â
âBecause I like youâ âHuh?â You heard him. You just werenât sure if you heard right. Were you dreaming? Jeno likes you back? âBecause I like you⊠so, donât go out with anyone elseâŠâ Jeno likes you back. You know youâre blushing because your neck is warm and your head feels like itâs about to explode. But with every silent second that passes, Jeno contemplates if he should get up and leave and never see you again. âI wouldnât have gone out with himâ âHm? Why..?â âBecause I like you tooâ.
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Okay! now that Iâm done rereading Mo Du by Priest, time for an overall review on the entire series! WARNING: unlike my previous book by book review, this review WILL contain spoilers, even if theyre not major, cause itâs more of an analysis than a review so beware!!
A piece of work about: a team of investigators, from the special crimes department, whose wildest wishes is not to spend the weekend working overtime; a sociopathic young CEO, who cant put the case behind his motherâs death to rest; five elderly policemen from the previous generation, two of whom have died under suspicious circumstances; and a never ending series of crimes varying from kidnappings to trafficking to murder and maybe even serial killings. If this already sounds complicated, then dont worry, cause it gets even more and more complicated to a point where you find yourself juggling two, maybe even three, cases at a time.
Iâll start with the characters:
Luo Wenzhou: a charismatic, quick tempered captain of the investigation team whoâs a lil too full of himself but he still has a heart large enough to embrace everyone he comes across. i absolutely adored his character, his dialogue and quips, his fatherly demeanor in which he lectures his subordinates before proceeding to do exactly what they were doing, then buying them all food so they can overlook his shamelessness. Luo Wenzhou is the sort to overcrowd the room with his boisterous, loud personality; the sort elders lectured all the time for getting in countless troubles, but still openly favored anyway. He is bold, capable, kind, creative with his insults, and even though heâs always threatening to give everyone around him a beating, the most he does is smack them on the back of their head. His character is simple and easy to read, but definitely very lovable and warm.
Now meet Fei Du. Our beloved sociopath. Yes heâs an actual sociopath (he is NOT a psychopath, cause psychopaths are born that way, and sociopaths are MADE that way during their childhoods, which leaves room for them to heal and reverse what they were forced to learn and unlearn it all, a very important point. While we certainly meet a lot of psychopaths in the series, the difference between them and Fei Du is that Fei Du, later on, unlearns everything that was forced down his throat and heals, which is one of the themes in the series). Now what I really love about this novel, is that while in every other danmei, thereâs always one shy and and quiet character while their love interest is always the loud and extroverted one, in this web novel, they are both equally flirty, equally shameless, equally extroverted, and equally bold in everything they do. While Luo Wenzhouâs charisma expresses itself in a more cocky, big handsome brave man type of way, Fei Duâs charisma is a lot quieter and moreâŠseductive, sensual and silk-draped. His words are always as sweet as honey, heâs the sort to send flowers and wear expensive strong cologne, drive up to your work place in an expensive chic car, and open the door for you. A true Gentleman, the very opposite of the Hero and Savior, Luo Wenzhou, whoâs a lot more aggressive and rough and protective.
But Fei Duâs character goes deeper than that. I absolutely loved how intelligent priest made him out to be, and i always looked forward to his explanations and deductions for every case, his chameleon like mindset and mirroring personality that seems to shift and change and adjust according to whom heâs talking to and what he wants from the person heâs around. His childhood is horrific, truly the most frightening backstory in any novel iâve read, it exceeded my expectations the first time i read the series and completely took me by surprise, nothing i couldve ever expected. He is extremely manipulative, and up until the last few chapters in the last book, you still cant trust him or deduce his motives or know where he stands. And yet, priest somehow manages to make him no less lovable than Wenzhou, cause even if you dont know whether heâs evil or not, you still cant help but be fond of him.
I absolutely LOVE and ADORE fei du and luo wenzhouâs dynamic, with the way they spent the first novel bickering and fighting back and forth, unable to so much as stand being in the same room as each other, to the way they started shamelessly flirting back and forth and one upping each other in the next book, building up so much tension between them. And even when they got together, they still retained a very interesting dynamic, their relationship never mellowed down, it was still very entertaining through and through. A perfect enemies to lovers. (Also side note, i feel like if you were to take priestâs character Gu Yun from Shapo Lan, and split him in two, youâd actually get fei du and luo wenzhou. I feel like they represent the two different sides of Gu Yun, the flirty and seductive young master everyone wants to sleep with, and the capable and bold leader everyone would follow loyally to any battle.)
The rest of the characters, aka Tao Ran and Lang Qaoi and Xaoi Haiying and Zhou Huajin and basically everyone, are my CHILDREN i will protect them with my BLOOD.
Now for the plot, well, iâve always been a mystery and thriller girl, so need i say more? All priest had to say was CRIME, and i came running. From the moment the first case presented itself, i knew this series was gonna become one of my all time favorites. Iâm talking yellow âKEEP OUTâ tapes, iâm talking forensics complications and bloody crime scenes, Iâm talking clues and hints and evidence and suspects and a classic âwho done itâ. Every case was different from the last, so the series never felt repetitive or boring. Each time it was a different issue, a different pattern, a different plot twist. Priest definitely kept my nerves wrapped up in a twist throughout all five books, always on a look out for different clues and hints, always trying to put two and two together and figure things out along with the characters. She touched on topics from mass homicide to rape and pedophilia to prostitution and drug addiction to a wealthy family strife over inheritance to cults and the abyss behind victimhood and grief. I absolutely loved the range, how you could go from reading about the silly banter between the characters over what they should eat while they work overtime, to serious and deep discussions over trauma and justice, and what was the correct way to process grief and get over an event that ruined your life and the lives of everyone around you. Another thing that i loved, was how interactive the cases where. It felt like everything clicked, everything made sense, and nothing was overlooked. Every question i asked myself, a character in the book would ask and an answer would be presented, and every minor detail that was mentioned in the very beginning that i quickly forgot, was brought back later on and expanded on in more detail and care. It was an extremely fun read.
Finally, the overarching theme of the story, discussing the processing of trauma, grief, abuse and victimhood, as well as criminal psychology and the line between justice and self righteousness. I love how for every case presented, Priest always showed you the two sides to the same coin, the two paths anyone is presented with in the face of life altering events. Priest gives you the answer to questions like, why did Fei Du choose not to become like his father, an actual psychopath, why was he capable of undoing all the things his father taught him and why did he consciously CHOOSE that path, over simply following his fatherâs path of psychopathy and greed and apathy and murder. Priest presents you with characters that are born into circumstances similar to Fei Duâs, but with just the tiniest differences and alterations, they ended up on a complete different path, being on the opposite end of the interrogation room table, bearing handcuffs. But priest doesnât give you all the answers right away cause whereâs the fun in that? She leaves you wondering why fei du turned out different, or did he actually turn out different? Why didnât he end up like all those other psychopaths who followed the lead of their parents? Till at last, she explains everything in the last book, and you put together a similar conclusion yourself just before everything is unraveled (if you guys want, i can do a whole meta analysis on fei duâs character, cause he is one of the most interesting characters that iâve read about). Another example on the same circumstances but two paths concepts would be, without any major spoilers, the families of the deceased and the victims. Now i wont divulge into details not to insert any major spoilers, but whoever reads book 5, then reads the extras after the epilogue, will definitely understand what i mean. That was a brilliant stroke on Priestâs part, definitely genius.
This whole installment was intriguing, intricately woven, complex and simply mind blowing. Youâll laugh, cry, get anxious, feel relief only to end up anxious again, attempt to solve the cases along with the characters, stay up late while going over the INTENSE interrogation scenes, and meet all sorts of criminals and personas as you dive deep into their psychological thought process and motives. This series is a DEFINITE 1000000/10 to me, my third favorite danmei (right after the dumb husky and his white cat shizun by meatbun and heavenâs official blessing by mxtx). Also, thereâs a pet cat :D
#long post but i couldnât help myself#mo du#mo du zhe#silent reading#priest#danmei#danmei priest#danmei recs
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thinking a lot about pregnant Anders and I think being pregnant would honestly ground him a little bit, and itâd be a healing thing for him since heâs surprised he can even have a child with the grey warden taint + the trauma of circle mage family separation.
Anyways, heâs taking loads in his cunt from anyone in dark town/his companions thinking nothing will come of it because nothing does. until his mind is quieter than it has been in years and justice is urging him to eat more and more when before he only ate the food necessary for survival and anything else had to go to his cause. and overtime the pudge around his hips wonât go away. Pregnancy is the physically healthiest heâs been in years.
I love this sooo much... Anders is my babygirl and he deserves the absolute world. And a baby!!
Imagine. He lands in Kirkwall thin as a twig, dirty, and sallow. He works himself to the bone in Darktown witnessing injustices and horrors every day, offering what help he can at his clinic but it's never, ever enough. His hands shake, his back aches, and Justice won't keep quiet. He works til his mana is exhausted and he doesn't even recognize the pangs of his hunger. But it's Anders, and he's always been a flirt, so he still manages to find a little fun with thankful patrons from his clinic and his newfound companions through Hawke. Using sex as a stress relief, fucking his companions after stressful missions, letting them cum in his pussy because he loves getting his tight cunt stuffed. And hey, he's a Warden, it was drilled into him that he's basically infertile.
Except things start feeling strange. Justice rears its ugly head less and starts encouraging Anders to care for himself more. He must be ill, because his days are dotted with intermittent nausea, but even when he improves his food intake and his sleep schedule, Anders still feels nauseous and tender and sore...
It's Merrill that tells him how good he's looked recently. His face is fuller, there's more energy in his step, and he must be doing something right, because she says he's practically glowing... not with Justice, she clarifies. It confuses Anders more than anything, who doesn't often look in the mirror. But she's right... at home, Anders strips down, looks at himself, and sees the weight he's accumulated. The tiny bump in his belly doesn't even register at first, too surprised that he almost looks normal again. He's so much less bony and has a healthy flush to him, even if there's a bit more fat settling around his hips than he's used to. Soreness be damned, he feels great.
It still takes a little bit for him to notice changes, though. There's a heaviness in his hips and he keeps gaining weight... looking in the mirror again, the distention of his belly doesn't remind him of fat, it reminds him of...
Oh. Pregnancy.
Anders realizes he's pregnant with an actual child and he's a mess of emotion but his heart swells. He never thought he'd be able to have a baby, between the cruelty of the Circles and his tainted blood. But he's pregnant and he's healthy and Justice is ringing in his head- this is exactly what he wants. This is what he needs, and this is what he's fighting for. He looks and feels the best he has in years, and he's determined to stay that way for his precious gift.
...his companions are surprised but take it quite well. Anders looks good with a belly and pair of growing tits. They're especially for it when Anders' libido picks up and he begging to take their cocks in his soaking, pregnant cunt. Maybe that's when Hawke invites him to the mansion, where Anders can have his fertile body worshipped every night and not worry about the dangers of Darktown. He may not know whose babe he's carrying, but he gets all the love and sex he could ever want, and Hawke is acting like a proud father already. Anders' pregnancy works out for everyone involved <3
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Moments - Chapter Six
Masterlist
February 9th, 2015
The quiet hum of Sydney waking up outside your window feels almost foreign after the chaos of the past few days. You let yourself linger in bed longer than usual, relishing the rare stillness. For the past two nights, youâd stayed in the background, ensuring the shows went smoothly while giving the boys space to focus on their performances. But even as you stepped back, your mind had been working overtimeâthoughts of the pregnancy, the uncertainty surrounding Niall and Liam, and the immense weight of the tour all swirling in your head.
Your phone buzzes on the nightstand, and you reluctantly reach for it. Itâs a message from Paul:
"Take the day for yourself. No work, no stress. Itâs non-negotiable. Also, Louis said youâre coming to the beach with us later. Donât argue."
You snort softly, the corners of your mouth lifting in a rare smile. Paul knew you well enough to see through your tendency to bury yourself in work, and Louisâwell, Louis had probably insisted you needed a proper distraction.
Sliding out of bed, you glance at your reflection in the mirror. Thereâs a tiredness etched into your features that even the best sleep canât erase. Still, the idea of sun and sand, of hearing Louis and Harry bicker over the best way to build a sandcastle, doesnât sound so bad. You take a deep breath, trying to push away the heaviness in your chest. One day at a time.
...
The van pulls into the parking lot, and the anticipation in the air is palpable. After two back-to-back concerts, everyone seems eager for the rare day off. Louis, as usual, is the first out, practically tripping over himself as he flings open the door.
âLast one in the waterâs a rotten egg!â he yells, sprinting toward the sand.
âLouis, waitââ Paul starts, but itâs too late. Louis is already tearing off his shirt as he runs, drawing a few gasps from fans lingering nearby.
âDo we even want him back?â Zayn mutters dryly, adjusting his sunglasses as he steps out of the van with far less enthusiasm.
âYouâre all children,â Paul groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. âStay in the group, donât wander off, and for the love of God, donât draw attention to yourselves!â
Harry claps Paul on the shoulder. âRelax, mate. Itâs just a beach day. What could possibly go wrong?â
Paul looks unimpressed. âYou. Thatâs what.â
Liam laughs softly as he steps out behind you, holding a bag packed with towels and sunscreen. He catches your eye, offering a small smile. âReady?â
You nod, gripping your sandals in one hand as the warm sea breeze brushes against your skin. The sight of the sprawling beach, the waves glittering under the sun, feels like a much-needed escape from the tension of the last few days.
The group begins to scatter almost immediately. Louis dives headfirst into the waves, whooping loudly as Harry ambles after him, shielding his face with a hat that doesnât quite do the job. Zayn lays out a towel under the shade of an umbrella, lighting a cigarette as he watches the chaos from a safe distance.
You hang back with Paul, whoâs already scanning the area for potential risks. âLooks like theyâre letting off steam,â you say lightly.
âYeah, letâs hope thatâs all they let off,â Paul replies, giving you a knowing look.
The sand is warm underfoot as you make your way to a quieter stretch of the beach. Paul sets up camp, laying out towels and umbrellas as the boys scatter. You settle into a lounge chair, slipping out of your sundress to reveal the bikini youâd hesitated over that morning.
The sun feels glorious against your skin, and for a moment, you close your eyes, soaking in the warmth. When you open them, your gaze drifts toward the water.
Liam is waist-deep in the waves, water glistening on his chest as he ducks under and resurfaces, shaking his head like something out of a movie. His toned shoulders catch the light, every muscle in sharp relief. Thereâs a steadiness about him, an unspoken confidence that makes it hard to look away.
Further down the shore, Niall is tossing a ball back and forth with Louis. His laugh carries over the sound of the waves, bright and infectious. Heâs all easy charm and boyish energy, his tanned skin glowing under the sun. You catch yourself watching the way his hair curls slightly at the ends, damp from the sea, and the curve of his back as he stretches.
A quiet heat creeps up your neck when you realize theyâve both caught you looking.
Liam glances your way, his gaze lingering just a moment too long before he turns back to the waves, running a hand through his hair. Niallâs reaction is more obviousâa playful smirk curling at his lips as he feigns disinterest, but you donât miss the way his eyes flicker back to you every so often.
You shift in your chair, suddenly hyper-aware of how exposed you feel. But when Louis splashes Niall with a handful of seawater, breaking the moment, you let out a breath you hadnât realised you were holding.
It isnât long before Louisâs chaotic energy becomes too much to contain. Heâs decided that a simple swim isnât entertaining enough and starts an elaborate splash war with Harry, which quickly draws in Liam.
âCome on, Zayn!â Louis calls from the water, waving his arms dramatically. âJoin us, you coward!â
Zayn lifts his cigarette in response. âIâm good, thanks.â
Louis isnât having it. He charges out of the water, soaking wet and covered in sand, and grabs Zayn by the arm.
âLouis, no!â Zayn protests, but his words are lost in the laughter of everyone watching.
Moments later, Zayn is unceremoniously dumped into the shallows, cursing loudly as Louis collapses with laughter.
âGod help me,â Paul mutters under his breath, though thereâs a faint smile tugging at his lips.
...
As the day winds down, the beach takes on a golden glow. Louis and Zayn are back on dry land, arguing over whose sandcastle is better, while Harry plays referee. Liam is helping Paul pack up the bags, ever the responsible one.
Youâre sitting on your towel, watching the waves roll in, when Niall sits down beside you. His hair is still damp, and the scent of saltwater clings to him as he pops the cap off a bottle of water.
âLong day, huh?â he says, his tone light.
âYeah,â you reply, your gaze fixed on the horizon.
Thereâs a moment of silence before he speaks again, softer this time. âIâve been meaning to say... Iâm sorry.â
You glance at him, surprised. âFor what?â
âFor the other night. For how I handled... everything,â he says, his voice trailing off. He takes a deep breath. âI was scared. Still am, to be honest. But that doesnât mean I shouldâve put that on you.â
His words hang in the air, and for a moment, the only sound is the rhythmic crash of the waves.
âI appreciate that, Niall,â you say finally. âItâs a lot for both of us.â
He nods, his gaze drifting to the sand. âIâve been thinking about what you said. About doing this together. And I want to... I really do. I just... I donât want to mess it up.â
You reach out, placing a hand on his arm. âWeâll figure it out. One step at a time.â
His eyes meet yours, and thereâs a softness there that makes your chest ache. âThanks, love,â he says quietly.
The two of you sit there as the sun sinks lower, the golden light bathing everything in warmth. Itâs not a perfect resolution, but it feels like a startâsomething solid to build on.
...
February 10th, 2015
The hum of the jet engines fills the cabin, a steady backdrop to the muted conversations and soft rustling of papers. The flight from Sydney to Brisbane isnât long, but itâs enough time for everyone to decompress after the whirlwind of the last few days. Louis and Harry are sprawled across their seats, headphones on, watching something on Harryâs tablet. Zayn leans back with his hoodie pulled low over his face, clearly using the time to catch up on sleep.
Niall is at the back of the cabin, laughing quietly with Paul over something on his phone. Youâre seated near the front, your laptop open as you skim through the latest tour updates, but your mind isnât focused.
When Liam settles into the empty seat beside you, youâre almost startled by his presence.
âHey,â he says softly, his tone cautious, like heâs testing the waters.
âHey,â you reply, closing your laptop halfway to give him your attention.
He hesitates, running a hand through his hair. âThought we could maybe talk. If nowâs a good time?â
You nod, gesturing for him to go on.
Liam leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Thereâs a seriousness in his expression that instantly sets you on edge. âIâve been thinking a lot about⊠everything. What you told us.â
Your stomach twists, but you keep your face neutral. âOkay.â
âI know we donât have all the answers yet, and itâs going to take time to figure things out,â he begins, his voice steady but low enough that the others canât hear. âBut I just⊠I need you to know Iâm here for you. Whatever you need, whatever you decide. I want to support you.â
His words are sincere, and you can see the depth of his concern etched in the lines of his face. You feel a pang of guilt for not telling him about the doctorâs appointment sooner.
âLiam,â you start, your voice faltering slightly. âThereâs something I need to tell you.â
He straightens, his brows furrowing. âWhat is it?â
You glance around the cabin, ensuring no one is within earshot, before continuing. âA few days ago, before the first concert in Sydney, I went to see a doctor. I wanted to confirm everything⊠and to learn what my options are.â
The words come out quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid. Liamâs face softens, but thereâs a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.
âAnd?â he prompts gently.
You take a deep breath. âIâm healthy, and so is the baby. Iâm about four weeks along.â
His jaw tightens slightly, but he nods. âThatâs good. Thatâs really good.â
âThereâs more,â you say, your voice quieter now. âThe doctor mentioned something called amniocentesis. Itâs a test that can determine⊠who the father is.â
Liamâs eyes widen slightly, and he sits back in his seat, processing the information. âAnd youâre thinking about doing it?â
âI donât know,â you admit, running a hand through your hair. âItâs not something I have to decide right away, but itâs been on my mind.â
Heâs quiet for a moment, his gaze fixed on the floor. âThatâs a big decision,â he says finally. âBut⊠if it helps you feel more certain about things, then maybe itâs worth considering.â
You nod, appreciating his measured response. âThank you.â
Liam looks at you then, his brown eyes soft but tinged with something deeperâhurt, maybe, or regret. âI canât lie to you,â he says. âHearing this⊠itâs hard. Because I care about you. Iâve always cared about you. And I canât help but think about how things mightâve been if we hadnât ended things.â
Your breath catches, and for a moment, youâre transported back to those months with himâlate-night conversations, quiet moments stolen between rehearsals, the way heâd look at you like you were the only person in the room.
âBut I know this isnât just about me,â he continues, his voice steady but laced with emotion. âItâs about you and whatâs best for you. And no matter what, Iâll do my part. I promise you that.â
Tears sting the back of your eyes, but you blink them away. âLiam⊠thank you. That means more than you know.â
He reaches out then, his hand covering yours. Itâs a simple gesture, but the warmth of his touch grounds you, offering a brief moment of solace in the storm of emotions swirling around you.
âWhatever happens,â he says softly, âyouâre not alone in this. Iâm here.â
For the first time in days, you feel a weight lift from your chest.
The sound of Louis shouting from the back of the cabin breaks the moment. âOi, whatâs the Wi-Fi password?!â
Liam chuckles softly, shaking his head. âNever a dull moment.â
You smile despite yourself, the tension easing just slightly. âNever.â
As Liam settles back into his seat, you glance out the window, the clouds stretching endlessly across the horizon. The uncertainty of what lies ahead still looms large, but for now, you feel a small measure of peace.
...
February 11th, 2015
The steady thrum of bass vibrates through Suncorp Stadium as the band works through another song at sound check. You sit off to the side, scribbling notes into your ever-present planner, trying to focus on logistics for the night. But your thoughts keep drifting, unraveling at the edges every time your gaze lands on Niall.
Heâs standing center stage, his guitar slung comfortably across his chest as he banters with Louis between chords. The carefree grin he flashes could fool anyone, but you notice the faint crease between his brows and the way his laugh doesnât quite reach his eyes.
As the song winds down, you slip backstage, needing a moment away from the pounding music and the weight of the unsaid words hanging in the air between you and him. You find a quiet corner near the equipment cases and lean against the cool metal, closing your eyes for just a moment.
âThought I might find you hiding back here.â
Your eyes snap open at the familiar voice. Niallâs standing there, guitar set aside, his blue eyes cautious but warm. He steps closer, leaning his shoulder against the wall next to you, close enough that his presence feels grounding.
âIâm not hiding,â you mumble, though even you can hear the thinness in your voice. âJust... needed a break.â
He nods, his gaze flicking to the planner youâre gripping tightly. âYouâve been working yourself to the bone, love. You donât have to carry it all, you know.â
His use of âloveâ sends a pang through you, soft but sharp. You force a shrug. âItâs my job, Niall. If I donât keep things running smoothly, who will?â
âPaul,â he says immediately, the teasing lilt in his voice drawing a weak smile from you. When you donât reply, his expression softens. âSeriously, though. Youâve been running yourself ragged, and I know itâs not just work. Itâs... everything, isnât it?â
Your breath catches, and you tighten your grip on the planner. âItâs just been a lot,â you admit, the words coming out barely above a whisper. âThe tour, this... all of it.â
Niall steps closer, gently prying the planner from your hands. He sets it on a nearby case, his fingers lingering on yours. His warmth seeps into you, steady and comforting. âYou donât have to do this alone,â he says, his voice low but sure. âWeâre all here for you. Iâm here for you.â
His words catch you off guard, and when you meet his gaze, the sincerity there steals the air from your lungs. Gone is the panic you saw in him days ago, replaced by something quieter, more resolute.
âIâm sorry for how I acted before,â he says, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. âI panicked. The idea of being a dadâJesus, it scared the hell out of me. But Iâve been thinking about it, and if itâs me... Iâll step up. Iâll do whatever you need, alright?â
Your throat tightens as his words settle over you, untying the knot thatâs been twisting in your chest. Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them back, overwhelmed by the shift in his tone, his resolve.
âNiall...â you begin, your voice shaky. âIâI had a doctorâs appointment a few days ago.â
He straightens slightly, his expression instantly sharpening with concern. âIs everything alright?â
You nod quickly, the tension in his shoulders easing. âYeah, weâre... Iâm healthy. The babyâs healthy. Itâs still earlyâfive weeksâbut they said everything looks good so far.â
A breath you didnât realize heâd been holding escapes him. âThatâs... thatâs good, then. Thatâs really good.â
âThey also talked about options,â you continue, your voice quieter now. âIf I decide to keep the baby, thereâs a procedureâan amniocentesis. It can tell us who the father is. But itâs not until later, around sixteen weeks.â
Niall blinks at you, processing. âSo weâll have to wait a while, yeah?â
âYeah,â you say, your voice barely above a whisper. âIf I decide to continue with the pregnancy.â
His brows draw together, and for a moment, heâs silent. Then, he speaks, his voice soft but steady. âWhatever you decide, Iâll be here. I mean it. I know I panicked before, but... I care about you. I care about this. And if itâs mine, Iâll be ready. Iâll try to be.â
You let out a shaky breath, the weight of his words settling over you. âThank you, Niall.â
He squeezes your hand gently, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. âYou donât have to thank me for that, love. Weâre in this together, alright?â
The distant sound of the band tuning up filters through the space, pulling you back to the reality of the moment.
âGuess I should get back to soundcheck,â he says, his tone lighter now, though his eyes linger on you a moment longer. âBut weâll talk more later, yeah?â
âYeah,â you say, managing a small smile.
He steps away, leaving you standing there with a heart that feels a little fuller, a little steadier, even as the uncertainty of the future looms.
Next chapter
#liam payne fanfiction#liam payne x reader#liam payne x y/n#one direction fanfiction#niall horan fanfiction#niall horan x reader#niall horan x y/n#one direction x reader#one direction x y/n#moments fanfic
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After Jennie and Jungkook get married, how would they describe their marriage relationship when theyâre asked about it in interviews? How would they describe the difference being married vs. being boyfriend/girlfriend?
I rambled! I hope it makes sense! Brainstorming!
I'd say they'd describe their marriage as adventurous and fun. There are times it will get hard but they'll work as a team to get through any obstacles. They're both still as silly and playful as they were when they were dating. And it's more on a serious level as they plan for the future, especially regarding children and living in South Korea and so on.
Like as they get older and also be in the engagement/married period of their relationship, I see them more open and flirty on social media. Yeah, I will have them do that from time to time as boyfriend and girlfriend but it goes to a new level when they're married/engaged.
Being less busy when Bangtan is on hiatus and the military services are being done with the members, their passion for each other will increase a lot as well and they will get tested a lot regarding the distance and time apart when Jungkook is enlisted. Also they'll learn to compromise better when they are married which will be something they'd have some issues with while dating sometimes.
For instance, spending time with each other during busy schedules. These two young adults started off their relationship privately and spent a lot of time together. That free time is going to decrease as Bangtan gets bigger and bigger globally with the years going by in the story. Of course I will still be writing lots of JenKook fluff but realistically that is going to take a toll on their relationship and test them.
I'm thinking of their first fight to be due to lack of time spent with each other because BTS is getting more popular, the schedules are getting packed, one is free while the other is not, and due to being tired and missing dates unintentionally when work goes overtime.
And another argument I had in mind is her getting mad at him for not respecting her wishes on being quieter when gaming with his friends online while she's trying to concentrate and work on a song.
They'll compromise in marriage like Jennie taking a little hiatus from Bangtan for pregnancy while still occasionally working behind the scenes, where to live and raise their family, they'll settle for South Korea while still having a place in America to be able to be near Jen's family and ect. Marriage will be hard work for them but they will be a good team.
When talking about the difference being married vs being boyfriend/girlfriend:
Yeah they're gonna be open and proud to be dating but I also still see them as lowkey when they are boyfriend and girlfriend. Yes, we got that big social media reveal as I'm working on that chapter but supporters will be enjoying any crumbs on JenKook when they decide to post each other or watch anything filmed of them. And the media would always try to push this agenda that they broke up since they don't see too many posts about them from time to time. Sometimes JenKook would post something together and it would speak volumes that nothing was wrong with their relationship.
Being married is a more stronger commitment for them as they take their relationship to new heights and build a future together. Their emotional connection is deeper than it was dating and they'll begin to seriously use the word "We" and "Us" in conversations.
Overall, dating and married, the two will always be excited to talk about each other when asked in interviews. People will notice how they glow and smile when thinking of each other.
There will be times they will both be like, "I cannot stand him/her," and then later on they'll be like, "I really love him/her"
"The Black Girlfriend Effect" already hit Jungkook but when "The Black Wife Effect" hits, it'll hit him tenfold. I see ARMY making a huge trend of videos about JenKook with that.
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Chapter 3 - Part 2
TW/CW; IMPLICATIONS OF SA!!
And yet, they still weren't talking.
One far too stubborn, the other un-budging unless he apologized, so the air remained awkward and the tension between the two thickened, so much even Kenny's axe wouldn't be able to cut it â it was quieter than usual, the only thing being heard was their footsteps, breathing and occasional weapon swaying.
Nonetheless Faelynn tried to get them to talk, essentially trying to calm everything down atleast a little bit, but nope, they wouldn't budge â so she tried to be friendly, atleast to Kenny but was still on edge around her â her feelings were still confused towards the demon and was trying to remain.. civil.. and well, distant, but Kenny wouldn't leave her alone ; always protecting her from threats, asking if she was alright after any fight and staying near her, but still remained cold and quiet. It was Kenny after all. But series didn't change either â Sereia kept being the same old harsh, cold and blank faced and yet not much could be said about them aside from their skin it being from being out of water far too long, and, there wasn't much water from what the group could see.
Evander could still feel the pulling sensation, but it was growing.. as if he was getting closer.
But despite everything they were running low on resources, I mean, being there for that long would cost you a lot of resources and mending â so Evander reluctantly agreed to go into a cave. It was moist, dark and very deep; presumably abandoned and yet there was something wrong.. off.. about it.
There were random markings, claws that didn't look like it belonged to a Agnis or a Betruim or anything like that.. it was deeper, hollow, and just.. off. There were a bunch of tunes and just sigils that didn't make sense, why were they here? Evander payed close attention to those things, but still focused of getting everything they needed, and helping.
It was boring,
This is boring.
They're there already â why not just venture further in whilst you have the chance, right?
That's, exactly what they did, atleast.
It was getting more eerie as they ventured in, finding lots of different things inside, old antique things that looked like it belonged to their parents or grandparents. It was just off.
And Sereia was unusually anxious, looking around when most of the time she's uninterested in many, many things â developing Anhedonia overtime, but this made her anxious for some reason, but it was shrugged off as she was always scared when she was a kid.
And soon they found an old parchment.
"What's this?" â Wrenley asked suspiciously.
Seriea was getting even more anxious
"I don't know.. it looks off." â Faelynn remarked, suspicious of it aswell
....
"Smells off." - Kenny blurted out with a scoff
"Evander could you care to read it?" â Wrenley asked, looking over at Evander, for the first time talking to him â even with an angry tone Evander began to read.
"Long ago, 4 gods lived across the realm, our realm. One being less strong than the others
One fiesty and hotheaded, one blunt and blank the other arrogant and prideful, so prideful
he led a cult which would lead to his banishing, his downfall, his name being Shoviantâ
shoviant
Shoviant.
Shoviant.
An oddly familiar name, one might've assumed.
Walking down the corridors of the mansion, your poofy grayish purple colored dress bouncing, your footsteps couldn't be heard â small as you were.
A child.
Yet you could hear the chattering from the room, the sayance â ritual..
What did your parents call it again? Peeking your head over, looking into the room watching mommy and daddy and all the other guests lighting a dead bloody body on fire, the heart being the only thing truly sticking out, the rhyming words you couldn't make out.
You knew you'd be the next to join.
The old grimy man told you so too â daddy's friend was it?
Praying to the god you didn't know each night, remebring the fingers on your skin, plump as you were as a child, you could feel everything.
Now your grown
And your apart of it.
And your friends don't know.. do they Sââ-
"Sereia?" â Farlynns voice echoed as Evander finished reading the burnt parchment
"Sereia are you alright?" â she repeated the question to her friend again, worried.
"Huh? Oh yea I'm fine.. let's just.. go." â she mumbled, gulping as they started walking back, she hoped the others didn't notice but they did, but, kept quiet â this is the first time she acted like this, it would be rather awkward to bring it up, it's Sereia after all. She doesn't act like this. Yet she could still feel the guilt in her stomach.
They pushed it away, they were fine.
#TW#CW#implications of SA#uhm#oc#oc universe#trauma#caugh cuagh#aerogathia#skibidi fortnite#sighma#a#r
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Hi! I saw your Thoma matchup and I was wondering if I could get a matchup also? (Preferably romantic and with a Male character!)
Appearance!
I have light brown skinned but sometimes they can get pale during the winter, I have very dark brown hair / eyes (and in my hair there are a few pieces of bleached parts), I have a few moles (one on my upper lip, two tiny ones on near my right bottom lip and one on my neck), and I have thin almond eyes!.
Personality!
I am very supportive and friendly with close ones, usually I can be stubborn with things most of the time, I wouldnât say at first when meeting new people Iâm shy but just more observing and quiet but overtime Iâll start voicing my opinions a lot more (and sometimes I can be talkative BUT not all the time!), and I have a Divine feminine energy (And I can have somewhat an attitude).
Likes!
I usually like to bake sweets, maybe go shopping here and there, love spending quality time with close ones (we donât even have to talk and Iâll enjoy the time), My love language is Quality time and gift giving! and reading books and listing to music (and I absolutely love hearing jokes).
Dislikes!
Iâm not really fond of loud noises, people with no manners, rude people in general, overly touchy people, Spiders, and FREEZING cold weather!
And a few fun facts!
I can be a bit clumsy, canât really see far from a long distance, I have a naturally loud voice (so sometimes it startled people when I speak suddenly) and my Favorite color is purple!
ANND thatâs about it! Have a lovely day / afternoon / night and a splendid year!!
I know you said you dislike cold weather but I really think a certain cryo user would be fond of that divine energy you mentioned having, so I match you with Kaeya!!
For starters, I do think he would be the first person to understand that quiet does not always equate to being shy. The man has a clear talent for observation and collecting intel in his own ways, so he would easily pick you out for just being attentive instead of socially introverted. I feel that would actually draw him to you too. Kaeya seems like someone to enjoy a good mystery, so he would love to solve the mystery of the pretty stranger he noticed watching him.
Kaeya might not be as outwardly comedic as the other characters, but he would probably think him teasing you counts. He thinks he's funny at least when he gets to see your shocked expression when he throws a particularly open flirt your way. He just really likes to get under your skin in a good way especially if you react in a way that challenges or surprises him. I do not think Kaeya likes submissive and obedient types and much prefers someone who can stand equal to or challenge him. Your attitude would be something he finds very attractive in that regard.
On a less "Kaeya is a flirtatious jerk" note and more of a "Kaeya is an affectionate jerk" one, I do think he would love to spend quieter moments with you. Being cavalry captain is hard work y'know? So little moments just spending time together at home or coming back home and having a surprise of one of your cooked meals? He's simply delighted, even if he shows it in a more easy going fashion. Never expect to much praise from him, but he knows his manners and thanks you for the time you spend with him even on days when he might not be acting exactly himself for one reason or the other.
As a little bonus note, I think Kaeya would very much be the type of person to kiss little beauty marks, he thinks any little feature like that might be his favorite parts on you. Plus it gives him more room to tease you, getting to kiss close to your lips but not quite, and of course playful little neck kisses just for you.
#faun writes#genshin impact#genshin#genshin x reader#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x traveler#x reader#aether#lumine#albedo#headcannon#match maker#request#kaeya ragnvindr#kaeya x you#kaeya x y/n#kaeya x traveler#kaeya x reader#genshin impact kaeya#genshin kaeya#kaeya genshin impact
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Brought Back to Me (FULL)
(I meant to release it yesterday, but with burnout coming at me from all angles, I needed to take an extra day to breathe)
Tomura Shigaraki x Fem! Childhood Friend Reader
(Warm Bodies AU where they're less like zombies, but they're more mindless breeding machines and the only way to bring them back is by giving them intensely positive emotions.)
It's been months since the outbreak started.
One little quirk is all it took for all of Japan to fall into shambles. Curiously enough, only the men were affected by it, turning into insatiable beasts, searching endlessly for someone to breed mindlessly. Not really the undead, but not entirely human either.
Somehow, those who were able to escape from the clutches of such a dangerous quirk were only the men who already had partners, lovers. In some cases, those who were not sexually attracted to anyone-- and/or those who had impossibly strong bonds to their friends-- could also scrape by unaffected.
Unfortunately, the Safe Zone only allowed people in if they contributed to the saving of another.
âââââââââ
He wanders about aimlessly, not remembering a single thing. Where he came from, who he was. His head felt like it was in a cloud, body heavy.
Though he doesnât think much of it. This is all heâs known, after all. âBreed, breed, breed.â echoes inside his head, eyes scanning the baren wasteland. The sound of quick shambling and panicked breaths hit his ears; âa chaseâ, he thinks, âfollow.â
He finds his way towards the sound of aggravated groaning and hissing, careless fists slamming against doors. Locked in, it seems. Something tells him to put his hand on it, but nothing happens. He doesnât know why he expected anything to happen.
The door flexes when a loud thud rams against it, and a tiny yelp behind the flipped dumpsters. The groans grow more aggressive, more hungry. âBreed breed breed breed breed breed breedââ bounces around more fiercely in his skull; he shuffles quietly over to the dumpster.
He can feel himself starting to salivate, the idea of finally being able to achieve his purpose growing more and more prominent. Peeking over the bags of trash, everything in him halts; big doe eyes stare up at him, afraid. Trembling, eyes leaking... water? âTears,â his brain supplies. Tears.
He doesnât like them.
He watches for a moment; eyes scanning her trembling form. Another loud bang and the shriek of metal starting to give snaps him out of it. He takes her arm and yanks, dragging her out of the alley, sprinting passed the door just as the hinges burst.
He doesnât need to breathe, heart doesnât pump, yet his chest grows tight from the sound of her struggling to keep up. âGo slow. Slower.â he complies, falling into stride. He feels something starting at him, so he turns back to look at her, grumbling, glaring.
Suddenly, heâs running into a building. She titters excitedly, too frantic to understand before sheâs pulling away. Slamming the door shut and locking it. Heâs a little confused; surely, she hasnât forgotten what he is.
For a moment, she does. Her chest heaves with relief, sliding down before plopping in front of the door. He carries himself into the corner of the room, gurgling to himself.
She tenses, eyes darting to him; he squints back. âNow she remembers.â he grunts.
He doesnât know why the echo in his head went silent. The usual monotony of âbreedâ long gone, ever since he laid eyes on her; replaced by âprotectâ and it baffles him. Though, at the same time, it feels right.
She snivels, and his eyes latch back onto her. Still sitting by the cold door, staying away from him. He rolls his eyes and turns away, stuffing himself into the corner.
Some time goes by, how long he doesnât know. Though he doesnât need to know such irrelevant things. He gurgles in surprise when he feels something warm fall over him. He turns slowly, eyes meeting her curious ones.
âYouâre strange, you know that?â She whispers; her eyes more curious than afraid. He only gurgles, letting the warmth of the blanket encompass him.
âWarm is nice,â he decides.
--
She rambles on about âno circulationâ, or something like that. He doesnât quite get it, but he doesnât fight her when she insists he stand out in the sun, absorbing more of this âwarmthâ thing heâs gotten addicted to.
He follows her around as she needs supplies, gurgling along quietly to her aimless conversations. He knows sheâs only talking to fill the silence void (âmaybe sheâs gone crazy,â he thinks, âtalking to someone who might not even understand.â) but somehow he appreciates it. Gives him something to think about.
Overtime, he finds himself enjoying her company. Mindless babble filling the everyday droning of grumbling footsteps passing by.
One day, she yelps in excitement over a can, startling him and every other mindless dolt in the area. He hisses in irritation, dragging her back to the safe house as quickly as he can. Despite the harrowing situation, she smiles, giggling with childlike glee.
He glares at her once they make it to safety, yet she hardly notices when sheâs shoving the can into his face.
âPeaches! Itâs canned peaches!â she cheers, prying the lid off with a can opener. The smell is sweet, unlike the usual foods she would find. Heâs surprised when he feels his stomach growl instead of twist.
âDid.... did your stomach just growl?â she whispers, baffled. He shrugs, opting to pretend it never happened when it growls again. Her eyes light up.
âIt did! It growled!â she laughs, then hands him a peach. He twists his face up, remembering the first time she had him try food. âCâmon, try! Maybe itâll be different.â
He takes the peach from her hand, eyeing it distastefully before licking it. To his surprise, he didnât feel sick. He stares at it for a moment before dropping it in his mouth. He feels satisfied rather than sick when he swallows.
âFascinating...â she whispers, slowly approaching when he doesnât immediately retch it back up. He eyes the can without realizing it, pouting when she offers him another peach with a coy smile. âSee? Good thing I had you try.â
He takes it with a huff, grinning wryly.
--
That night, he dreams for the first time.
âTenko...!â Echoes inside his ears. He feels his heart beat, and it nearly sends him stumbling from the shock.
âTenko..!â Closer this time, but even as he spins endlessly to look, he doesnât see anything.
âTenko! Wake up, Tenko!â Its right next to him now, and it has him jolting awake
He sits up, but itâs still dark when he opens his eyes. He looks around frantically for her, finally calming when he sees her curled up on the sleeping mat. He scoots closer, putting a hand on her back, just enough to feel it rise and fall with each breath.
He settles.
--
He starts to realize heâs capable of doing more with each new event, and with each new event, he dreams.
The worst nights are when he can hear the voice screaming in agony:
âTenko!! No!! TENKO!! STOP IT!â âGET AWAY! TENKO!â
The eventual sobbing that grows quieter and quieter, leaving him feeling colder and colder. He hates those nights.
Even when his heart isnât beating, it still feels painful. His mind races with questions and anxiety (a feeling he wish he didnât know).
He wonders if his name isâ wasâ Tenko, or maybe someone he used to know? Heâs not sure, but heâs afraid to find out.
Afraid.
Another emotion he was starting to know well. He finds himself afraid a lot more often too.
Heâs afraid of waking up one night to find her gone. Heâs afraid of losing her to some other mindless victim (if he could call them that. Men fallen to the quirk; victims). Heâs afraid of watching her find companionship with another human.
He knows itâs selfish, but a part of him wants to stay just like this, with her.
Without knowing who he is.
--
Life is the sweetest when sheâs sharing her canned peaches (the only thing his body cares to let him eat). Two unlikely friends, making the best of what they got, but then she starts telling him about her past.
âThere used to be someone very important to me.â She said one restless night,
âHe and I only ever had each other. Two peas in our own little pod.â
âWe didnât get along at first, but only because we were scared. Just the two of us, living on the street. He had the strangest way of holding things too, but I guess that was just because of his quirk.â Her eyes seemed so glassy, yet so clear. So far away, yet here all the same.
âWe uh... used to huddle under the same blankets, just like this.â she slides next to him; sheâs warm, yet somehow still so cold, âwe even shared peaches too. He never admitted it, but they were his favorite. Itâs a shame we couldnât get them often.â
âJust us against the world...â he doesnât like the sound her voice makes when it cracks, words turning into a strained whimper. He nudges himself closer to her hoping itâs of some comfort.
âThen some weird man came and took him away, and I never saw him since.â she sniffles and rubs at her eyes, âMy Tenko.â
He goes completely stiff. He can tell sheâs talking to him, but itâs drowned out by the sound of something rushing through his ears.
âTenko! Over here! Hurry!â his body is so much smaller than heâs used to. He feels the pounding of his heart. It hurts. It hurts.
âTenko! No!! TENKO!!â the agonized screams, and a little girl who looks a lot like her is reaching out through the fog towards him, eyes shining with desperate tears.
Thereâs the feeling of something grabbing him by the shirt, dragging him away. He knows heâs screaming, his throat burns with the force of his cry, but he canât hear.
As quickly as it begins, it ends.
âHey, are you ok?â Sheâs peering into his face, concern written all over hers. He gurgles, fighting with his own vocal chords.
âI-I-Iâmmmm ssso-o-orrrry...â itâs gravelly and slurred, almost incomprehensible, yet she seems to know what heâd been trying to say, seeing as her eyebrows shot up in surprise.
âYou... you talked. You actually talked!â She seems so excited for him, but then she frowns, worried.
ââSorryâ? What for?? Thereâs no need to be sorry!â she rubs his back. Warm. He feels his chest squeeze.
He wants to try to talk again, even if to just make her smile, but his throat aches far too much, so he just gurgles softly, nudging his head onto her shoulder.
He practices his speech at night when sheâs asleep. Quietly, of course, as to not disturb her, but itâs frustrating. Trying to sound out words messily.
âMmmm-my nnnnnname....â his voice gives away to a wet growl, and he wheezes out a cough, âmy nnname issss... Tennnko. Ten...ko. Tenko.â
--
Heâs remembered a lot more after the first memory.
Rainy nights under the bridge, hushed giggles over a can of peaches.
Hard winters when all they had were a pile of blankets and each other.
The... THING that stole him away, abandoning her.
Quiet fury burns in him, but it fizzles out soon after when he hears her mumble in her sleep. Itâs inaudible, and probably complete nonsense, but he likes to think that maybe she was dreaming of the good olâ days too.
But only the good days, he hopes. Before âTHATâ day.
He whispers her name, stroking her back gently when she starts to fuss. âA nightmare,â he muses, watching as she quickly settles back into a peaceful dream. She has them a lot, but he likes to think that they end as soon as he soothes her.
âYouâve suffered enough.â
Thoughts come easier now as his memories come. Things that he isnât proud of, things that makes him wonder if sheâd hate him.
He remembers becoming âShigaraki Tomuraâ, a name he thinks of in disdain.
He much prefers Tenko now.
--
âYou know, youâve been pretty warm lately. I guess sunning yourself every day does help.â She muses out loud, and he grumbles, pleased.
âMmmaybe.â
âHey! No stuttering this time! Youâre getting better!â She smiles at him. He grunts, leaning against her.
âOofâ hey, easy there champ. You may not eat much, but youâre still heavy compared to me.â He hears her, smirking, but opts to lay more of his weight onto her.
âHey! Come on!â She laughs, his gurgled wheeze of a laugh only making her laugh that much harder,
He thinks he feels his chest growing lighter in moments like these, wishing desperately that he could have been left unaffected.
He knows thereâs no reason to worry about the past in his current state, but he still finds himself wishing.
--
âHey, thatâs weird,â She says to him one morning, ruffling his hair, âyour hair is getting darker somehow.â
She shows him in the mirror what sheâs talking about, and sure enough, there it is.
A tuft of black hair poking through the sea of pastel blue.
âHow funny is that.â she grins. Itâs lopsided and curious, but she just muses his hair one more time before going back to her morning routine.
Overtime, he notices more and more sprout in, and she always laughs at the bewildered look he always seems to have.
--
The first time he felt his heart beat was during one of those nights when you couldnât sleep, so you would tell him about Tenko.
âI thought it could just be the two of us forever... In the same way kids feel when they ask each other to get married when theyâre older.â Her words are melancholy, but her smile is peaceful, happy.
âI wanted it to just be the two of us against the world. All we needed was each other, maybe we could have been adopted by a nice couple or something, but still inseparable.â
He doesnât say anything or make any sounds, so she continues.
âSometimes I wonder if maybe we could have fallen in love.â He sputters then, heart thudding once, twice, then falling still. His hand smacks over his chest in shock, and for a moment, he wondered if thatâs what it felt like to be alive.
âIs that really so ridiculous??â she snorts, not really offended, but not really as happy as he would like.
He shakes his head aggressively, and she laughs. Her smile is so genuine he almost misses out on the sweet kiss on the cheek she gives him.
âThanks for always listening to me ramble. Actuallyââ she sits up, and he watches her from his spot on the floor, âthanks for staying, even though you didnât have to.â
He puts his hand over hers wordlessly, patting it gently.
âAlways.â
--
He wonders if itâs possible to die without being alive.
He hopes it is.
When he wakes up, sheâs gone. Nothing more than a note left behind.
âNeed food. Be back soon.â
A simple food run shouldnât be such a big deal, but itâs climbed to be the most dangerous thing to do over the last 10 months (Has it really been that long?) and losing her so soon after getting her back is the last thing he wants.
He goes barreling out the door just in time to hear her scream.
His heart leaps into his throat. He feels sick, but the adrenaline pumps into his veins, and suddenly heâs running.
Heart racing, sweat dripping, lungs aching. His ears ring with the sound of her scream.
He stops, stomach acid rising into his throat. He feels far too sick. He runs his hands through his hair, he doesnât even notice the light blue strands that fall away.
He hears her scream again, closer this time. He starts running again despite his shaking legs.
He barely makes it in time to see her get surrounded. The roar he lets out is nothing less than ground shaking, and itâs certainly enough to catch the attention of everyone in the vicinity.
He doesnât remember what happened next. Colors and sound blend together to make a symphony of tragedy.
Memories and reality all blend until they start and end with her. Her.
âTenko, my Tenko... youâre okay.â Sound re-emerges from the depths.
Warm. Warm. Warm.
Sheâs in his arms; so small in comparison to him. He remembers when she was the same size as him.
And, god, sheâs so warm.
âTenko.â His eyes open to meet hers. Theyâre glassy, but relieved. He whispers her name like itâs a prayer.
âWho would have thought this is how we meet after all these years, huh?â Her voice is soft. He finally realizes her hair is covered in dust. Dust. His dust.
He jumps back in a panic, afraid. He hadnât been careful with his hands, hands.
âTenko. Itâs okay! Itâs okay!â she soothes and grabs his hands freely, pressing his palms to her face.
She doesnât decay like she should.
âRemember, Tenko? We practiced.â
Yes. Practiced. You helped stabilize his quirk long before he came. Promised to keep it between the two of them.
âYes... yes... I remember...â he mumbles, and she places her hand over his chest.
âYour heart!â He nods,
âYeah...â
âDoes that meanââ
âYeah...â he nuzzles his face against her shoulder.
âWarm...â she laughs gently,
âYeah... youâve always liked warm things.â
âMm...â he stands, picking her up in the process, walking back in the direction of the safe house.
âWeâll head to the city zone tomorrow.â
âOkay... Tenko?â
âMmh?â
âIâm glad youâre back.â
He smiles; heâs glad heâs back too.
#Crow Patreon#BNHA#BNHA Shigaraki#BNHA Shigaraki Tomura#Full Release#Female Reader#SFW#Shigaraki x reader#Warm Bodies AU
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season 3 but instead of billy, neil was flayed.
he had been acting... off the last couple of weeks. distant and withdrawn, completely the opposite of how he usually is with billy.
he first notices the difference in behavior when the abuse stops. maybe he gets home late for dinner and instead of the usual stern look he gets before a smack when max and susan go to bed, neil just smiles all big and wide, but it doesnât quite reach his eyes, before he welcomes his son home.
then neil starts coming home later and later, giving susan some bullshit excuse about work and overtime and she eats it right up. chooses to believe that heâs somehow morphed into the perfect husband and father overnight. on top of that, he smells like bleach and chemicals and his eyes seem so dead. billy can tell what the guy is thinking or feeling through one look at his expression, but now heâs just eerily blank.
so billy follows him on 4th of july, surprised to find himself in the starcourt parking lot for the second time that day - he dropped max off earlier to hang out with her shithead friends, but itâs past closing hours so she shouldnât still be inside unless sheâs at the movies, the only part of the mall that remains open late. he watches as neil marches into the mall, fists clenched at his side. billy has no idea why neil is even at the mall so late when he should be at work or wherever heâs been going and lying to susan about. so, he follows him in.
he doesnât know what to expect, but seeing his little sister and her gaggle of friends screaming as neil gets closer and closer to them. squinting, billy can see black veins crawling their way up neilâs neck, discoloring his face and eyes. he jumps when he hears the first bang, the sound of a firework exploding way too close for comfort.
then he spots it. the huge slimey alien being that screeches when the first firework hits it, then second, third, and so on.
and like. what the fuck.
his eyes must be as wide as saucers as he stares at the thing, gangly and screeching with every hit, trying to swing at anyone it can reach. he doesnât have time to process what the actual fuck heâs looking at when he hears someone yell his name. max.
âbilly! BILLY!â she screams, absolutely terrified. âDO SOMETHING!â she demands.
immediately, his eyes search for fireworks. looking up, he finds harrington on the second floor in matching work uniforms with a girl - buckley, his brain distantly provides. they had the same ap literature class. the fireworks get louder and louder along with the monster. he eventually finds a small kiosk set up for the 4th, so he follows suit and grabs his lighter, blindly throwing at the monster as he watches the scene unfold in front of him. his father approaching a girl around maxâs age with a maniacal expression on his face, eyes about to burst out of his goddamn head. he hears the kids screaming in protest to no avail. pretty soon, they run out of fireworks and his dadâs got this girl beneath him on the floor.
heâs about to intervene when the girl lets out this piercing scream, almost louder than the shadow, and suddenly his father is thrown up in the air then launched right at the monster. heâs caught mid-air by a tentacle - wait a goddamn second are those human body parts??? and teeth????? - right in the center of his chest. billy flinches, watching in horror as his father screams in pain before heâs dropped onto the floor, head smacking the tile before he goes limp.
it feels like the world goes still for a second, everyone standing still, eyes wide and mouths open in shock at the scene before them. distantly, he hears the monster screeching, but his eyes are locked on his fatherâs body - torn open and bleeding out. what eventually brings them all out of their stupor and back to the real world is the same girl standing and screaming at the monster, merely feet away from the thing. her hand is shaking in the air, nose dripping with blood as the monsterâs screeches grow quieter, its body shrinking. soon enough, it hits the ground just like his father. limp and silent.
billy just watches the scene unfold, his mind racing yet completely blank. he knows he should move, grab as many little shits as he can and run, but heâs stock still, unable to process what he just witnessed. ironically, it ends up being the kids who run to him first.
âbilly,â max calls as she reaches him. âbilly!â she grabs his shoulders, shaking him until he acknowledges her. âbilly we have to go. now! come on billy letâs go!â her hands are shaking as she grips his shoulders.
he blinks a couple of times before he nods once, then again.
âshit!â he hears harrington yell, footsteps approaching them as the two teenagers run down from the top floor right before it comes crashing to the ground. soon enough, the mall is falling apart, the ceiling caving in.
billy finally kicks into action, wild eyes and expressions matching everyone elseâs as the teens drag the kids out of there, the group sprinting outside in time to watch the mall crumble to the ground with his dadâs body trapped in it.
he doesnât know how much time has gone by when ambulances, fire trucks and police cars appear. heâs stuck in place as parents reunite with their children while paramedics check on everyone, wrapping heavy blankets around them. billy manages to sneak off to the side, hiding behind an ambulance. he spots max with sinclair and susan, harrington with buckley, girl and boy wheeler close to the three byers, accompanied by the police chief.
billyâs alone, he realizes. he looks back at the mall, now in flames and taking his father down with it. his hands and legs begin to tremble and heâs sliding down the side of the ambulance, unable to breathe as he hits the floor. hugging his knees to his chest and holding his head low, he takes in short breaths and ends up wheezing, unable to get enough air into his lungs. he doesnât realize heâs crying until his vision is blurred and cheeks are wet. heâs hyperventilating and is pretty sure heâs about to black out.
billyâs alone.
everyone here has someone and he doesnât.
his mother left and now his father is gone and he doesnât, canât understand why. yeah, neil was abusive and cruel but he was all billy had left. he lost his friends, the ocean, his life the second neil ripped him away from california and dragged him to a state where he knew heâd get hurt if neil caught him with a boy again like in cali, except this time he knew it wouldnât be just neil pounding on him for his âsickness.â
billy misses his mom. wants nothing more than to be held and comforted by her. to hear her soft voice as she sings or hums or shushes him as she rubs his back and plays with his hair and kisses his head and tells him everythingâs going to be alright.
except everythingâs not going to be alright and now heâs sobbing silently, soft whimpers and harsh wheezing being the only noise leaving his body.
with the rest of the world tuned out and only hearing his own choked sobs and sharp breaths, he flinches when he feels the hand on his shoulder, trying to scramble away from it.
âhey,â the soft voice says. âits okay. hey, kid, itâs okay. itâs just me.â she immediately pulls her hand away, holding both up to prove herself as unthreatening. âjust me.â she repeats gently.
billy slowly raises his head, eyes and cheeks red and blotchy and puffy and wet. he finds exhausted, sad brown eyes looking over him.
âoh, kiddo, you look like youâve seen hell.â she sounds motherly. âcâmon, breathe with me. take deep breaths, okay? count with me.â she encourages as she kneels down to his level. âdeep breaths. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, breathe. in and out, just like that. youâre doing good.â
pretty soon, his wheezes and rushed breaths even out. he takes his first deep breath of fresh air, releasing a shaky relieved sigh.
âyou must be billy, maxâs brother. iâm joyce, jonathanâs mom.â she introduces, except neither of them are in the mood for small talk. âi, uh,â she sighs. âthereâs a lot we all have to talk to you about,â she sits down beside him. âbut that can wait,â she assures. âuntil youâre ready.â she adds on quietly.
he stares at her a couple seconds before he breaks again, a strangled loud sob ripping its way through his chest and out of his mouth. he doesnât even think about it before he launches himself at her, fully prepared to cry to this woman heâs barely met yet spent hours knocked out cold on her ground only after breaking one of her nice plates.
she - joyce - seems to have the same idea because as soon as he starts crying again sheâs opening her arms and reaching for him. they meet halfway in the middle.
âitâs not fair.â billy chokes out, trembling in joyceâs surprisingly strong arms as she holds him upright. âitâs not fair.â he repeats, louder yet more broken.
âi know, sweetheart.â she nods, rubbing circles on his back with one hand, the other gently running through his hair. âgod i know.â she sighs and, poor woman, it sounds like sheâs been through it. he vaguely remembers hearing about her sons - zombie boy and creepy byers. his brain isnât processing enough to connect any dots just yet.
âshe-she just left,â he holds onto joyce tightly. âshe left and now heâs gone.â he cries. âheâs gone.â he repeats, again and again. âthey all leave. why do they all leave?â he asks weakly.
joyceâs heart breaks for the boy shaking apart in her arms, using her last remaining strength to hold him upright and provide any comfort she can. she canât help but look around, searching the crowd for anyone who might be there for him. she frowns when she finds everyoneâs eyes on them yet no one making any moves to approach. she wishes she could hate them all a little bit for it, for leaving him alone. letting him feel alone and unwanted. unlovable. she knows the feeling and itâs the worst.
âwell, blondie, looks like youâre stuck with me now.â her attempt to make him feel less lonesome seems to work, just a little, if the way he squeezes her for a second is anything to go by. âi donât give up. i donât leave. i promise.â she kisses the top of his head, gets the scent of hairspray, cigarettes and ash.
over the top of his head she finds steve harrington still watching them, a distant look in his eyes. he seems conflicted, staring at billy with wariness as he bounces nervously from foot to foot, holding the blanket hanging loosely around his torso.
he seems to make a decision when billy releases another sob at her promise, striding over and draping his blanket over billyâs shoulders. he goes out of his way to tighten it around him, making sure itâs comforting and cozy around his trembling figure. he hesitates once again as he goes to walk away, fist clenching and unclenching at his side before he looks back to billy with sad, tired eyes and rests his hand on the blondeâs shoulder, squeezing just once before he walks away. the same hand is nervously flexing at his side once again.
#harringrove#billy hargrove#steve harrington#this is not good nor accurate by any means do not expect much pls#crybaby billiam rights#i love love love joyce and billy#and i hate neil hargrove so this works out lol#fuck u neil#rip neil but iâm built different#anyways i had a bad day and cried so i projected and made billy cry đâșïž#this hc has also been in my mind for a while and i knew i wouldnât write it for ao3 so here it is hdjsjsj#joyce byers#my writing
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The âQuestionâ Nanami Kento
JJK Nanami x my black OC Ryan (y/n if you want to put yourself in her shoes, be my guest)
warnings: none Â
Word Count: 807
Self Headcanon : Boyfriend Kento with a biracial black woman
Casual Dates
Nanami and Yaga casual dates would include walks in the parks, coffee time at their locate spot, and idly letting little miss Ryan run up a check at the boutiques. Â
The days, evening and nights spent walking throughout the park was peaceful. Though verses their moments shopping and Nanami blowing his extra income on Yaga was a bit hectic. The middle ground was catching a quick bite to eat and a cup of coffee, it could a busy day for the shop, but the time was well spent. Nanami would usually arrange their time together before or after he finished work for that day. Yet, Nanami had no idea Yaga was sneaking out all this time. Yes, she lived by herself and not with her family, but she was still not allowed to just go out and about without a word to her father. Â
Nanami thought he was making her anxious as she had totally zoned. âYaga? No honey for your tea this time?â Nanami asked, trying to snap her out of it.
Yaga shook her head rather fast as she caught herself and then realized she was at the coffee shop with Nanami. âOh...Iâm sorry, yes please.â Â
Nanami requested honey along with their orders as he then leaned forward to brush Yagaâs right side of her hair behind her ear. âYouâre a lot quieter today, did I do something? Was it last night? Iâm sorry I left unexpected.â
âIt's fine its fine, I know. But hey at least you went into overtime.â Yaga laughed softly as she rubbed little fingers together, signing money.
Nanami let out a soft sigh as in yeah, the money was good, but he didnât want it to interfere with making this woman his. He knew falling for someone was never the plan, especially being a sorcerer. Nanami would eventually have to make a rather tough decision. Â
The Date Night Â
Nanami made sure he had tonight completely off, hell the man even made his phone DND after 5:00pm so work could definitely not bother him. Tonight, was the night he had to ask the question. Just like their first date, Nanami spared no expenses. He wanted to of course see her all dressed up, but when he offered a nice restaurant, Yaga said no. She settled for a pub instead and said she just wanted a relaxing night this time around, not super expensive.  Ryanâs outfit: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ad/9a/f5/ad9af5b7cf4c9f46dcd536d96d2080c3.jpg  Kentoâs outfit:   https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e5/62/66/e5626632eb9c53c69a82c0e14518a7d4.jpg
Ryan decided to meet him at the bar for a change. Once she saw Nanami enter at the front, she waved at him. âNanami!â She said loud enough to grasp his attention
âYou know I could pick you up like the usual.â Nanami stated, taking his seat at the little booth she managed to get.
âYeah, I know, but it's okay.â Yaga shrugged her shoulders. Â
Nanami could tell there was something on her mind, but he wasnât the type to press on it. He knew sheâll manage to say something sooner or later.
They placed their orders and not long their meals arrived. As the pair ate, drank and talked their way through dinner. âI have something to ask you.â They both literally said at the same time, gaining a chuckle from both of them.
âYou first.â Ryan insisted, taking a sip from her cocktail
âNo, ladies first.â Kento flashed a smile, finishing his vegetables.
âOkay, how about we both go?â Ryan suggested.
One. Two...Three!
âAre you okay with me telling my father about us?â
âWill you be my girlfriend?â
Both questions were in the same playing field, but at the same time different.
âGirlfriend?â Ryan blushed deeply, placing her hands over her cheeks. âIâm honored, Nanami. Yes, I will be your girlfriend.â
âWait...your father has no idea we been seeing each other?â Nanami asked but then realized she basically agreed to become his girlfriend. âReally? You will be my girlfriend?!â
Ryan avoided his question prior to being asked her father situation. âOf course, Iâll be your girlfriend. Why wouldnât I?â
Being overjoyed with her agreeing to become officially his partner, Nanami totally forgot his second question. He reached over the table to take hold of her one of hands, holding it tightly within his callous hands. âThank you, Ryan.â His soft smile was charming, matching his warm lips as he placed a gentle kiss against the back of her hand.
âThank you as well, Kento.â Ryanâs smile was even bigger then Nanamiâs. Â
It was official, the duo that was Nanami Kento and Yaga Ryan was a couple. A couple that would have to overcome certain trials, but none the less a happy couple.
(If you want a mini series or nsfw, likes/reblogs are apperciated and requests are okay for JJK for Suguru, Toji, Sukana, and Kento)
#nanami kento#nanami x reader#jjk nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#jjk kento#nanami kento x you#jjk#jjk headcanons#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#nanami#kento#jujustu kaisen#black reader#black oc
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Evan âBuckâ Buckley/Eddie Diaz | Rated T | Chapters 1/11 | Posting Every Other DayÂ
When Maddie showed up at the one-eighteen covered in bruises and needing a place to stay, Buck didn't hesitate to let her into his home and the new life he had created in L.A. While he was happy to have his sister back, he was tired of insisting to her that he wasn't as lonely as she accused him of being. So when she assumes he's in some secret relationship with his coworker and best friend, Eddie, Buck decides it couldn't hurt to tell a little white lie, especially when it meant his sister could focus on something that wasn't her own past.
Now Buck is stuck trying to navigate through a ruse of his own creation while dealing with newfound feelings for his best friend that seemed to sneak up on him.
Oh, and did he mention the mysterious accelerant that kept finding itself in his path, putting everyone he loves in danger?
read chapter one on ao3
âIâm just worried about you, Evan,â Maddie sighed into the phone. Buckâs heart did that stupid little stutter directly correlated with disappointing his sister and he held the phone away from his face as if that would lessen the guilt he felt.Â
âMads, Iâmââ
âYouâre not fine.âÂ
Buck sighed. âI wasnât going to say fine. I was going to sayââ Buck thought for a second, but his sister was rightâas she usually wasâand who was he to argue with her? âAlright, I was going to say fine, but itâs because itâs true!â Buck urged, hoping that the more times he said it, the more likely sheâd be to believe it. (Maybe he could convince himself of the fact along the way.)
âItâs been almost two months since Abbyââ
âReally, big sis? You just gotta bring that up?â He complained, groaning more than audibly as he stared up at the firehouse ceiling. He had found in the last few weeks of overtime shifts that counting the tiles and slabs that made up the structure was a great way to pass the time.Â
âYes, little bro, I have to bring it up because Iâmââ
ââWorried about you.â Buck finished the sentence with her and prepared for annoyance or, at the very least, another deep sigh, but instead, she stayed quiet as if giving him the chance to speak up.Â
Another sigh resonated before Maddie said, âYouâre all alone in this big city with no family. You have to understand my worry.âÂ
âI do, I really do, but Iâm finally finding myself here. The 118 has really taken me in as their own; theyâre friends who almost qualify as family at this point!â Buck argued, running a hand through his hair. Maddie couldnât possibly understand what his fellow firefighters had meant to him.Â
âHave you at least started dating yet?â Maddie asked. Buck resisted the urge to hang up on her and took a deep breath as he considered her question. He could tell the truth, which was that he hadnât so much as touched a woman since Abby tore his heart out of his chest and stomped it into the ground.Â
OrâŠ
âIâm dabbling,â he decided to say instead.Â
It wasnât completely a lie. He had decided a few days ago with a lot of pressure from Hen and Karen that he needed to at least attempt to get back out there and downloaded one of the most popular dating apps he could find. He set up his profileâalbeit very scarcelyâand had been waiting for those likes to come in. What he wasnât expecting was almost complete radio silence and for his ego to take a direct hit when Chim got a date within the first hour of downloading it.Â
âAnyone I should know about?â For some reason, Buck wasnât expecting the question. He thought that Maddie would shy away from asking or just be happy that Buck had divulged even just that little bit of information, but no. She just had to put her brother on the spot and have him panicking about what to say.Â
âSoon?â He sputtered, immediately regretting his words the moment Maddieâs small squeal echoed through the speaker.Â
âEvan Buckley, I knew you were keeping something from me the second you said you were fine! You knew that I wouldnât just take that laying down, right? You mustâve!â The happiness in her voice broke Buckâs heart a little further and he couldnât back down; not when her joy was so obvious in her rambling and the way she giggled into the phone.Â
âIâ Itâs really new, Mads,â Buck muttered as he tilted his head to the side and let his phone rest against his cheek.Â
âNew is good and you deserve good, Buck,â Maddie said, the words like a gentle caress to his cheek that he would have leaned into if she was there. As if an idea had just occurred to her, Maddie gasped and said excitedly, âIâm gonna come visit. Iâve gotta meet this family of yours and you canât avoid introducing me to whoever is making your life a little less lonely if I show up at your door.â Buck was annoyed that she had a point, but the prospect of having his sister around after a few years of space had his heart warming in his chest.Â
âYouâre welcome here any time, Mads. Iâve really missedââ
âIâve gotta go,â Maddie said, her voice quieter and a bit more panicked than Buck would ever have wanted to hear. âDoug needs me toâ Well, he just needs me. Will you please stop being such a stranger and let me in on your life from now on, little brother?â Buck rolled his eyes at the term of endearment but agreed easily anyway.Â
âYou know everything there is to know, sis.âÂ
He wished he could be surprised when he got the text a few hours later that a trip to L.A. just wasnât in the cards for her.
----------------------------
The one-eighteen was quietâthough Buck wouldnât dare say the wordâfor the majority of his shift a few days after his call with Maddie, which he was grateful for because Bobby was tabling his famous pasta bar as Buck skipped up the firehouse steps. The rest of the team was already seated in their usual spots and Buck took his next to the newest recruit, Eddie, elbowing his side as he leaned to scoop up the first piece of lasagna.Â
âAy, the rest of us eat first, unless youâre planning on serving me, Diaz,â Buck teased with an over-exaggerated wink.
âYou know I just live to serve you, Buckley,â Eddie shot back easily and Buck couldnât help the laugh that bubbled up inside of him. It had been their thing since the new guy started. Buck would flirt with him until the rest of the team groaned or stopped it and apparently, Hen was at her wits end already if the piece of bread that slammed into Buckâs head was any indication.Â
â Jeez , Hen, weâre just having some fun,â Buck pouted, taking a large bite out of the piece of food that landed on his plate.Â
âDo you always have to flirt with the newbie? Itâs honestly sickening,â Hen complained with a roll of her eyes but Buck knew there was no heat in her words. He realized that look was all too similar to the one his sister would have given him. Buck laughed and tossed a grape tomato in her direction in retaliation.Â
âThereâs no stopping us now,â Buck assured her with a wink. Â
And there really wasnât. Buck and Eddie had been like that since the very beginning, and they only grew more comfortable and in sync in the few months they had spent working together. Eddie had joined the team as an openly gay single dad with no hesitation and Buck had respected that immediately. He was not one to hide his interest in any and all genders, but he wasnât exactly waving a flag when he started at the one-eighteen.Â
There was about a minute of silence when Eddie introduced himself before Buck decided that the best way to smooth him onto the team dynamic was to hit on him. Buck made a ridiculous come-on about a firehose that was brushed aside by the rest of the team, but Eddie laughed and gave it right back. The two had been fast friends ever since, much to the dismay of the rest of their team.Â
âWhatâs everyoneâs plans for the next three days off?â Buck asked as he stacked both his and Eddieâs plates full of food, tossing an untouched piece of bread behind his back that Eddie caught seamlessly just before it landed in his salad dressing.Â
âChristopher and I have a Marvel marathon planned that I couldnât even try to get out of,â Eddie offered, slurping up a spaghetti noodle as Buck sat back down. âWhich reminds me that he wanted me to ask you if you could come?â Eddie asked, peering at Buck out of the corner of his eye. Buck wasnât sure where the sudden shyness had come from, but before he could ask or answer, Bobby was chiming in.Â
âMay and Harry are with Michael so I will be finally showing Athena that my cooking skills are not just for show,â Bobby said with a large smile on his face. Buck liked seeing him like that, unapologetically happy for the new life he was starting.Â
âIâm planning on sleeping until my alarm goes off in three days,â Chim laughed from where he leaned back in his chair. âWhat about you, Buckaroo?âÂ
âWell, I was going to try and find a date because my sister wonât stop bugging me about being single, butâŠâ He trailed off, cupping Eddieâs shoulder tightly in his hand, âI just got an offer Iâd be a fool to refuse.âÂ
Eddie smiled and shrugged off Buckâs touch with a fond roll of his eyes before they focused on his plate. Buck glanced around at his team with an uncontrollable smile on his face as they bantered and laughed and listened intently to whatever story Hen was telling about her son, Denny. He thought back to his conversation with Maddie and how worried she had sounded for him, as if he was alone without Abby.Â
He wasnât. His teamâtheir laughter and camaraderie, their friendship and love, their shared stories and experienceâwas everything he needed.
----------------------------
Buck was stuck with the dishes once the table was cleared, but he didnât mind. He liked to get lost in the mundane task of scrubbing and cleaning, the clanging of the dishes a friendly reminder that he had spent much-needed bonding time with his team. Plus, doing the dishes meant he got to decide where they would go out after their shift and he had the best places in mind.Â
âMaâam, are you okay?â Buck heard Chimâs voice softer than he expected from the second-floor terrace.Â
âIâmâ Thatâs just the question of the day, isnât it?â Buckâs heart dropped as he recognized the all too familiar voice and before he could think twice, his legs were bringing him down the stairs in a sprint. âIâm looking forââ
âMaddie?â Buck asked. When she turned, he caught sight of the bruises littering her face and peaking out from underneath the collar of her shirt. The long sleeves did nothing to hide the darkness around her wrists and she didnât even try to cover up the gashes on her cheek and lip.
âHey, Evan,â she said weakly, a forced smile tugging at her lips. Buck had her in his arms before her legs could fully give out and he held her tightly to his chest, careful of the soreness he knew was probably hidden underneath her clothes.Â
âHey, hey, I got you. I got you, youâre okay,â Buck whispered into her hair as she sobbed, nails clawing at his back that probably would have hurt if he wasnât so focused on providing his sister comfort. He caught Chimâs eyes over her shoulder, EMT bag in hand, and shook his head, searching the room for Hen. Chim seemed to understand exactly what he was doing and ran to the back where Buck was pretty sure Hen was resting.Â
âI didnât know where else to go,â Maddie choked out as she tried to pull away. Buck wouldnât let her, though, as he threaded his fingers through her hair and kissed her temple softly.Â
âHere is perfect, okay? Donât worry about it,â Buck reassured. He wasnât sure exactly what to say to her. He had known her relationship with Doug wasnât the best and there was no doubt in his mind that that monster had hurt her. The way her body trembled and her voice shook had Buck feeling uneasy himself as he led her to one of the more comfortable couches in the station.Â
âHey, sweetie, Iâm Hen. Youâre Buckâs sister? Maddie?â Hen said as she approached, carefully as if walking up to an easily spooked animal. Buck appreciated it as much as it hurt him to see.Â
âThatâs me, the overbearing big sister,â Maddie attempted to joke, but it fell flat to everyone that had gathered around except for Buck.Â
âI donât think I ever used the word âoverbearingâ specifically. Maybe persistent, annoying was probably dropped in there a time or two,â Buck teased. He was too grateful when Maddieâs hand came up to swat his shoulder to focus on the wince on her face at the movement.Â
âShe canât be worse than you, Buckaroo,â Chim chimed in from where he stood a few feet away, flanked by Bobby and Eddie, who Buck noted was paying closer attention to where he kneeled beside his sister than he was at Maddie like everyone else.Â
âI promise Iâm not,â Maddie said weakly. Buck held onto her hand delicately as Hen settled beside her, the EMT bag on her lap.Â
âAny family of Buckâs is family of ours,â Bobby stated, nodding at Hen as if giving her the okay to fully check up on her.Â
âHeâs told me a lot about you guys, his family away from family. Iââ Maddieâs breath hitched as Hen pressed her thumbs over the bruises along her collarbones and she pressed her lips together to compose herself before she continued. âIâm sorry for barging in this way, looking likeââ
ââLike a Buckley?â Eddie offered, easing the bit of tension of what wasnât being said in the room. Buck sent him a thankful nod as he squeezed his sisterâs hand. âWeâve heard yâall are prone to accidents. The number of times Iâve had to patch up this one on company time is too many and counting.â Buck laughed and tossed a friendly finger in Eddieâs direction, smiling when Maddie seemed to relax at the banter.Â
âThis one is always tossing himself into the fire quite literally, huh?â Maddie asked. Buck could tell she was relieved to have the conversation moved away from her and he didnât mind being the target for her benefit.Â
âIâve only been here for a few months, but Iâm pretty sure Buck would put anyone before himself.â Eddieâs voice was a lot closer than Buck had expected and he didnât realize how much tension was building up inside of him until Eddieâs hand landed in between his shoulder blades. He glanced up to catch his friendâs eye, smiling softly at the steady and comforting press on his back.Â
âYeah, thatâs exactly who he is,â Maddie muttered. When Buck glanced up at her, her eyes were narrowed and darted back and forth between him and Eddie accusatorily. That was not good . Buck cleared his throat.
âCan you guys give us a minute?â Buck asked.
Eddie ran his hand up to Buckâs shoulder, squeezing gently and Buck couldnât resist reaching up to let his palm brush over the back of Eddieâs hand, letting him know how much the gesture was appreciated. Bobby and Chim hesitantly nodded in response before they all disappeared, leaving an even more tense Maddie and nerve-filled Buck alone with Hen who was treating the cut on Maddieâs cheek.Â
As if scared for Buck to ask, Maddie offered, âIt had been a few months, Buck. I thoughtâ I really thought he had changed.â Buck sighed and rested his forehead on Maddieâs knee, relaxing only marginally when Maddieâs hand patted the back of his head.Â
âWhat was it this time? Did you argue with him a little too hard? Maybe you didnât reach the level of perfection he always required of you?âÂ
âBuckââ Hen warned, shooting a look that could kill in Buckâs direction.Â
âNo, itâsâ Itâs okay. Heâs right either way,â Maddie relented with a deep sigh. âIt had been building since I said I wanted to visit you in L.A. I told him that you had alluded to seeing someone and that I wanted to see if it was true. He said I couldnât go, that he was the only family I needed, and when I argued against thatâŠâ Maddie trailed off, gesturing to her face and that was enough for Buck to put together what happened next.Â
âHe did this because of me?â Buckâs voice shook as he glanced back at his sister, reaching a hand up to stroke a finger over the dark bruise on her jaw. Maddie grabbed it and turned toward her brother, leveling their eyes together with a protectiveness in them that provided him the calm he needed.Â
âThis was not your fault, Evan,â Maddie said sternly.Â
âItâs neither of your faults,â Hen added, resting her palm on Maddieâs arm softly. Maddie nodded and smiled at Hen as brightly as she could given the circumstances.Â
âSheâs right and I came here because I canât have this happen anymore,â Maddie stated, holding onto Buckâs hand a little tighter. âYou mentioned your captainâs girlfriend was a cop?âÂ
Buck nodded and wrapped his arms around his sister, wishing he had never let go in the first place.
----------------------------
Athena had arrived at the station quicker than Buck had expected her to. Upon seeing him, she pulled him into a tight hug that he didnât realize he had needed so much before disappearing into Bobbyâs empty office with Maddie. He didnât trust just anyone with his sister, but the second the door shut, he felt like he could finally take a breath.Â
He was flanked by both Hen and Eddie in a flash while Chim paced in front of them, chewing on a piece of beef jerky to stay occupied. Bobby watched from above, silently observing his team, and looking ready to step in if Buck needed it. They were all there for him and when the door finally opened after what felt like hours later, the smile that tugged at the corner of Maddieâs lips told Buck she had seen just that.Â
âAgain, Iâm really sorry forââ Athena shook her head and pointed a finger at Maddie, effectively stopping her unneeded apology.Â
âYouâll only have to be sorry if you donât let this one take care of you the way you deserve,â she said, raising her eyebrows like a challenge. Maddie pressed her lips together and nodded bashfully as she leaned into the arm Buck had thrown around her neck.Â
âBuck, shiftâs just about over. Why donât you show your sister where sheâll be staying?â Bobby said. It was an order as much as a suggestion but Buck was going to take him up on it either way.Â
âYeah, that sounds great. Let me know if you need me to come back in.â Bobby silenced him with one look.
âWe can survive the next hour without you, man,â Eddie chimed in. He walked over and pulled Buck into a one-armed hug as if he knew nothing could pry him away from his sister. Buck was grateful for the extra warmth Eddie provided him, either way.
âIf you guys need anything, you know where weâll be,â Hen assured, rubbing a gentle palm down Maddieâs arm until their hands were connected. Maddie squeezed it tightly and mouthed her thanks at Hen who brushed it off with a wave of her hand.Â
âI canât thank you guys enough,â Buck began, but he stopped himself from saying any more before any of his team could argue. âIâll see you in a few days?â He asked, directing his attention to Bobby so he could let his captain know that his sister arriving wouldnât impact his work. As if he already knew, Bobby nodded and wrapped an arm around Athenaâs waist.Â
âWeâll probably see you before then,â Bobby offered with a slight wink and Buck laughed.Â
âYou guys sure I can steal my little brother away early?â Maddie asked nervously.Â
âNow that youâve teased us with him leaving, you canât take it back,â Eddie said from beside Buck. They both had to laugh and Buck punched Eddieâs arm in retaliation only for Eddie to grab onto his hand tightly, not letting him pull away yet. His voice was low as he muttered, âYouâll let me know if you need anything?âÂ
It was meant to be a question, but Buck knew it wasnât. Everyone around them was so focused on Maddie and her injuriesâwhich Buck couldnât blame them forâthat none of them really stopped to think how tough the next few days may be for the Buckleyâs as a whole. But not Eddie. Just one glance from his friend told Buck that Eddie was well aware of the toll this might take on Buckâs good-natured mind and that Eddie was going to be there through it all.Â
âYeah,â Buck confirmed, resting a hand on Eddieâs neck in a friendly gesture of comfort, âIâll call you.â
----------------------------
âIâm not going back there,â Maddie said the minute the door to Buckâs apartment shut.Â
âI know youâre not,â Buck agreed because even if she hadnât made the choice herself, he wasnât going to see his big sister hurt like that again.Â
âI grabbed what I could before I left and itâs going to take me a little while to get back on my feet, butââ
âHey,â Buck said gently, wrapping his arms around his sister once more, âweâre gonna figure this out. Itâs always been just the two of us, right? Sure, a few years have gone by, but youâre still the most important person in the world to me and weâre going to figure this out.â He repeated, believing the words so fully that Maddie must have, too. Her shoulders slumped in either relaxation or defeat, Buck couldnât be sure which, and she pulled away enough for Buck to press a soft kiss to her forehead.Â
âCan I stay here for a little? Just untilââ
âMaddie, stop. Youâre staying here whether you like it or not,â Buck said with a laugh, ruffling her hair in his hand before she could swat him away.Â
âI just donât want to impose on any guests you might have around,â Maddie said, crossing her arms over her chest and glancing around his apartment as if looking for signs of additional life.Â
Buck sighed, âGo take a shower while I make up some dinner.â Maddieâs laugh was so refreshing, the tension of the last few hours seemed to fall right off of his shoulders.Â
When he heard the water turn on, he busied himself with finding dinner even though he was still full from the large lunch at the station. He wasnât sure when the last time Maddie had eaten was but her skin was too pale even through the bruises for him not to offer her something good. He rummaged through his cabinets for way too long, losing track of time as he listened to Maddieâs voice stop and start in the shower.Â
He used to love listening to her sing. She had always been carefree and beautiful and that was always something he admired. He could hear the hesitance in her voice as she weakly sang through the chorus of one of her favorite country songs and wished he could heal whatever it was inside that had her balking. Buck loved her more than anything in the world.
With a deep breath, he reminded himself that she had made that first step, the one he had wanted her to so many years before. He smiled to himself, grateful that she made it back to him mostly in one piece. Even though she didnât have that fire in her eyes that he remembered, he knew that her deciding to come home to him was the spark she needed to light it back up.Â
A knock at the door had him cursing because the water had shut off and he still didnât have dinner on the table. When he opened the door and saw Eddie, two pizza boxes in hand, he thought he might cry.Â
âI figured you usually go grocery shopping with Chris and I and weâre running low on food for two soââ Buck interrupted him by wrapping him another suffocatingly tight hug.Â
âMan, you could not have arrived at a better fucking time,â Buck sighed with relief. âI canât believe you did this for her,â he muttered mostly to himself. Eddie opened his mouth, but before he could respond, Maddie trotted down the stairs, patting her hair down with a towel.Â
âEddie, right?â She asked, a twinkle in her eye that Buck wasnât too fond of given the situation. âDid you bring us dinner?âÂ
Eddie nodded and mumbled, âYeah, for, uh, you actually.â Buck took the pizza boxes from his hands and Eddie immediately ran his fingers through the hair on the back of his neck as if suddenly bashful. Buck thought he looked more adorable than usual but brushed it aside.Â
âThat is so sweet of you,â Maddie said, knocking her hip against Buckâs. âIsnât that so sweet of him, Evan?â Eddie snickered and Buck knew it was because of the use of his first name. He shot an unimpressed glance at Eddie who pressed his lips together in return as if holding back more laughter.Â
âEddieâs just a regular old saint if you ask anyone,â Buck explained with much more sarcasm in his voice than he really intended. Maddie didnât seem to notice as she smiled up at Eddie.Â
âAre you staying for dinner? Iâm sure Buck would appreciate the company,â Maddie said happily, side-eyeing Buck as if heâd even thought to go against her words.Â
âOh, no, I gotta get back to my kid,â Eddie said, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder. Buck knew Christopher wasnât with him or else he would have asked them both to come inside.Â
âYou have a kid?â Maddie asked, mouth agape for reasons Buck didnât know but would definitely ask her about later.Â
âYeah, Christopher. Heâsââ
ââThe best kid in the entire world,â Buck interrupted, turning to his sister. âMaddie, this kid is a spitfire and heâs got jokes and comebacks for everything, I swear! And heâs like the smartest 8-year-old Iâve ever met, not that Iâve hung out with many 8-year-olds, but still. Youâre gonna love him!â Buck decided. He must have been rambling as both his sister and Eddie were staring over at him with amused looks on their faces. ââŠWhat?âÂ
âI mean, I was just gonna tell her his age, but I guess all that stuff is true, too,â Eddie teased. He flinched when Buck swatted at him with the hand that wasnât holding the pizza.Â
âHe sounds incredible. I hope I get to meet him?â Maddie asked. Buck nodded quickly and a smile Buck wasnât sure he had ever seen before tugged at the corner of Eddieâs lips. Buck was just about to offer for them to come over the following night when he remembered what he had already agreed to.Â
âOh, crap. The Marvel movie night!â Buck exclaimed as he finally set the pizzas down on the side table. âDid you already tell Chris I was gonna join?âÂ
âYeah, but itâs totally fine. Iâm sure heâll understand that your sister is here andââ
âNonsense! You promised that kid a movie night, heâs gonna get a movie night!â Maddie shouted as she opened up the pizza box and helped herself to a slice. Buck was glad she seemed to still have the appetite he remembered. âI donât mind having a night to myself. Itâs been too long since Iâve been able to just cry over a sad Hallmark movie with a glass of wine, you know?â Buck didnât, but he also really wanted to hang out with the Diazes.Â
âWe can always reschedule. Marvel isnât going anywhere,â Eddie offered, but Maddie just shook her head and slapped Buckâs arm like it was his job to convince Eddie he would be a fool to do that.Â
âIâll be over tomorrow at five with sandwiches to pay you back for tonight, okay?â Buck said softly, holding Eddieâs bicep in his palm. A blush covered his face and Buck wasnât sure why he was being so nervous all of a sudden; they bantered and touched like that all the time.Â
âYeah, okay. Maddie, thank you for letting me steal him and enjoy the pizza. Buck, Iâll, uh, see you tomorrow.â He waved as he backed away and Buck watched as he jumped into his car and drove off.Â
Once the door was shut, Maddie smacked him on the arm and Buck recoiled, sending a confused glance at his sister.Â
âWhat the hell was that for?â Buck asked, rubbing his skin even though it really didnât hurt that bad.Â
âI canât believe you didnât tell me you were dating a coworker !â Maddie shouted, gaping at Buck with joy in her eyes that he had missed more than he realized. He was so focused on her happiness, it took him more than a few reasonable moments to realize what she had said.Â
âIâmâ Wait, what?â Buck asked, pausing mid-bite on the piece of the pepper and sausage pizza he made a mental reminder to thank Eddie for tomorrow.Â
âEddie?!â Maddie repeated in a squeal. âI knew after our conversation that whoever you were dating wasnât just any old person, but another firefighter? A male firefighter at that? No wonder you didnât want to tell me yet!â Buck blanched and finished chewing his pizza carefully so as to not choke.Â
âMaddie, I mean this with no malice and all confusion; what the absolute fuck are you talking about?â Maddie scoffed and grabbed the pizza boxes, wandering to the living room and placing them on the coffee table. She made her way into the kitchen to grab two beers from the fridge before settling down next to Buck who had to sit on the couch and think before he fell over.Â
âOh, you cannot even pretend that you guys arenât head over heels for each other. The hand on your back at the station? The side hug? Bringing you pizza after a rough day? The blushing?!â Maddie raised her eyebrows at Buck and he honestly didnât know how to respond.Â
He should have said it was nothing. He should have said they were the only two openly not-straight men that he knew of who worked at the LAFD and were closer because of that. He should have said that they were just friends who put their lives at risk for each other every day so their relationship was bound to be special. He should have said all of that.Â
But Maddie looked so happy and carefree so instead, he lied.Â
âItâs⊠really new,â he said, echoing the words he had told her before she came to L.A. Her squeal of delight was enough for any regret he might have had to wash away and for his heart to soar that he could put that bright smile back on his sisterâs face.Â
âEvan Buckley, you have to tell me everything !â Maddie crossed her legs on the couch and settled back against the cushions, making herself comfortable in the place Buck had started to call home. Even with the bruises and cuts littering her face, she looked at ease, and Buck smiled over at her widely.Â
âThereâs nothing to tell, Mads. He started at the station a few months ago and we just⊠hit it off. Like I said, itâs new and heâs⊠good.â He wasnât sure why he had hesitated but he hoped she didnât read too much into it. When she rested a gentle hand on his bicep and squeezed, he knew she had believed every word of what he had said. The fact it wasnât a total lie was the only reason he didnât let his guilt build up too much just yet.Â
âIâm really proud of you, you know?â Maddie said softly, moving her hand up to cup the side of his face and brush her thumb along his cheekbone. He melted into the touch and closed his eyes, the words resonating through him as the ones he always longed to hear.Â
âWhat for?â Buck asked.Â
Maddie sighed and said, âFor being you.â She tapped his nose with the tip of her finger before she added, âNow tell me all about him!â
#buddie#buddie fic#911 on fox#911 fic#buck x eddie#eddie x buck#my writing#tiwistb fic#chapter one yall omfg#i cant beleive it!!#aklsjdfkl;ajsdl;f#evan buckley#eddie diaz
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continued from here (x) . / @farginenâ
somehow it slips through his mouth like sandpaper burning his throat. embers of self-loathing sparking to flame. he hates it. the vulnerability he suddenly displayed. he hates it. no one is supposed to know about that ; and he didnât know when exactly lieutenant hawkeye had become , against both their reputations of either being aloof or incapable of manners , so approachable.Â
they were wrong about her. ( any crap about him he could take. dish it out just the same. but lieutenant hawkeye was kind. ) so what if she was strict and had to work overtime ? it wasnât like edward didnât see it. sometimes she had circles under her eyes working for that mess of a colonel .Â
he saw that kindness. as highly observant as he was it was impossible not to notice when her steps were a bit slower; her gaze a bit more heady with lack of sleep. when the sharpness of her eyes dwindled into something tender and fond as she looked at himself and his little brother.Â
sometimes her kindness felt like a wound. one of myriad being opened that shouldnât , but edward instinctively like most adults, most people, hasnât shut her down yet like he usually would. it frustrates him how he doesnât understand why, but he still remembers the warmth of her outer uniform on burdened shoulders; the other torn to pieces in metal; and a small voice whispers in the core of a heart refusing to stop that maybe itâs okay.Â
maybe. the debating of deserving is always in question.
â ..... yeah. youâre right. iâm not exactly looking to be in their good books anyway. besides gods or no gods i donât have time to think aboutâem. i have things to do. â itâs softer than usual;Â Â the distant look glazing eyes like golden fires softening just a bit. a rueful smile on a face too young to wear it.Â
itâs too much to keep looking like this so he has to retain that usual âcheerâ that masks the hurt, the guilt, the grief, the self-hatred . but oh, when he was cheered it was infectious.
besides , edward elric always did perk up at food.Â
( but she could cook. she has that focus. hell, i doubt anyone is as focused as her. ) but the way she worded it made it seem like it could be a hobby. even if she clearly said she hadnât made it.
heâs intrigued; seating himself in the private stillness of a moment thatâs just them to glance at the table with gaze turned owlish; boyish, an imitation of innocence that wasnât there. but heâs smiling against his judgment; a smile that spreads like that dual natured sun; and he offers it to her. that warmth that leaks into his voice along with a natural excitement.
â you sure ? â it isnât meant as a tease but his smile is gentled as he picks up the fork with his right hand. â yâknow , i bet if you cooked lieutenant , youâd be really good at it. i dunno, somethinâ about you and your focus tells me you could do lots of things like that. steps and all yâknow? âÂ
before he takes a forkful into his mouth, a rather generous forkful, as ed really did lose all sense of decorum he did have when it came to food, the alchemist meets her gaze slowly but with that heartfelt sincerity burning bright.Â
â .... thanks lieutenant. â quieter than usual, but no less resolved. â pitying myself isnât gonna get me anywhere and i donât plan on doing it. so iâm gonna dig in and give this a review ! just sit back and listen to an expert on tasting the good stuff! â his bright tone fills the air with that boyishness once more.
edward places it into his mouth;Â but not before flashing her a grin all white teeth and crinkled gold eyes. he begins chewing slowly and thoughtfully. then comes the expected widening of the eyes as the flavor seeps into his palate.
â hey! this...this is really good! â spoken happily and with a bit of shock between a few lingering mouthfuls; as undainty with food as ever; the oldest elric flashes another grin up at the sharpshooter; sincere and warm.Â
â if you didnât make it who did? âÂ
#đ; đđđđ * Â ââ a blank page: now iâm writing out my own fate.#farginen#đđ * Â ââ iâll walk over a bed of thorns to reach the other side.
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when the clock strikes midnightÂ
Itâs almost fascinating, the way she only becomes more real under hands, more solid and more fervid, not a dream or just some brief flight of fancy. At least she hopes this isnât that. A long overdue coda to Blessings in Disguise đ€đ / Korrasami / 4.6k / ao3Â
If she were on earth it might have felt like the longest drive of Asamiâs life.Â
Instead it flew in a fuzzy rush, after Korra leaned over to give her a kiss and practically fell into her seat, giggling; and Asami spent the duration of the drive feeling its ghost on her skin, tamping it down just enough to guide her hands on the wheel and keep her eyes on the road. In the passenger seat, Korra sat with her head back and eyes closed, but her left hand lay in her lap, curled like it was just about to reach for Asamiâs again.
Now, inside, itâs still only Korraâs hand on Asamiâs shoulder blade, warm through her dress as she urges her through the door, that binds Asami to her body. The rest of her is itching to float. Once theyâre inside, Asami pushes the door shut behind her and turns to face her.
She doesnât get a second to breathe. Korra goes straight for her mouth. Itâs a little clumsy but she finds the rhythm sheâs perfected in barely an hour. Locked in, Asami hesitates momentarily, before slipping her keys in the seamless pocket of her dress instead of their usual hook. Then she canât help the laugh that bubbles in her throat, and she pulls back, holding Korraâs face.
She doesnât bother resisting the impulse to justâsqueeze it.Â
Asami should feel a lot less collected than she does; sheâs vaguely aware of that, itâs probably just that sheâs dumbstruck into serenity. When her mind feels out for an anchor, all she finds is an intoxicating rush of new memory, the evening that preceded all this as hazy as a past life, like she was embodied anew the moment Korra put her hands on her.Â
âWhat?â Korra mumbles, muffled from her squeezed cheeks.
Nothing, Asami thinks, but forgets to say. For once, for the only moment in a good while, her hands are perfectly still. But as she stands with Korra in them, she worries theyâre starting to tremble, to betray her, because the nightâ thrilling, surrealâcrashes into her so suddenly. The impact makes her inhale, low but sharp, and itâs plain for Korra to see. Â
All of tonight is teeming in the space between them.
All of every other day, that Asami has spent with Korra in the most secret corner of her heart, is on the cusp of spilling out.Â
Korraâs eyes shift from still and serious to playfully questioning, two blinking spots of light in the dark room. Asami isnât lost enough to miss that sheâs becoming impatient, with this distance thatâs closer almost than theyâve ever been until today. Yet she keeps⊠absorbing.
Eventually, Korraâs itch seems to pass. âHey, I wanna take my shoes off. Will you let me go?â
âNo,â Asami says finally. She pulls Korra into her arms and turns her as she does, so sheâs no longer pressed against the cold door; curving around her until her chin is in Korraâs shoulder and her arms wrapped around her from behind. âSorry, um, you forfeited that right when you agreed to be my girlfriend for the night? Do I need to remind you of our terms...? Did you write them down like I told youââ
Thereâs such glee in Korraâs laugh. It makes every stupid riff worthwhile.Â
She kisses her again. Asamiâs hand brushes her hair along the way to bare more of her skin, the low light of the landing catching the little studs she jabbed in earlier, a different day or year or universe it feels like. Even when Korraâs out of breath she doesnât relent, showering Asami with little pecks, automatic but never perfunctory.
Asami needs to sit down, not for the first time tonight. The part of her that wants to run away for a moment is only outmatched by the one that can hardly keep her hands from Korra, guided by irresistible impulse. Itâs almost fascinating, the way she only becomes more real under hands, more solid and more fervid, not a dream or just some brief flight of fancy. At least she hopes this isnât that.Â
âOkay, uh, I need some water. You?â Asami pulls away. She stops Korra with a thumb against the corner of her mouth.
Thatâs where Korraâs final peck lands. She takes a long moment to absorb the question. âHum. Iâm kinda hungry.â
Asami has to roll her eyes. She kneads Korraâs shoulder in her hand. âWait a sec, didnât you have like three desserts?â Korraâs face is blank, and Asami feels a smile twitch her own mouth. âI saw you.â
Korra shoves not too gently at her. âI had a long night, hey. Go get your drink!â
Asami almost stumbles over the edge of the sofa as she dashes away. She bites her lips to see if her giddy smile is as permanent as itâs starting to feel. Her heart remains in her throat all the way, no longer amenable to being swallowed back the way she has been doing since they first met each other in the bathroom today. She turns to catch Korraâs gleaming eyes, and theyâre both covering their giggling mouths; the shyness beneath the slyness somehow betraying an open desire that has Asami inhaling the deepest breath once sheâs in the kitchen. Korraâs⊠hungry, alright. And Asamiâs on a cliff edge she doesnât remember climbing to.Â
The moonlight from the window above the sink guides her to the faucet, and she finds the nearest cup to take several gulps of cold water. From longtime instinct she senses lipstick on a corner of her mouth where it shouldnât be, and the scent of Korra is there when she lifts her arm to drink. These little pieces of evidence without which it might be easy, now that sheâs finally alone, to believe nothing at all had happened and Korra was upstairs in her room after this stunt gone okay, or maybe sheâd been there all evening while Asami went to her gala. They keep Asami in a liminal state of mind as she pushes her body through the most mundane actions. Thereâs so much to feel, to thinkâto do, maybe. She can start at the beginning, start small. She fills another glass of water for her tired roommate; and she stoops to putter through the contents of the fridge.
âKorra!â She calls. âCheese? Strawberries?â
âStrawberries,â comes the attempt at a hushed yell.
âDumbass, youâre not hungry.âÂ
Korra gives her an unabashed laugh sheâs heard a thousand times. Each time it strikes deeper, and tonight Asami once again feels bowled over.
When she returns from the kitchen, Korra has kicked off her shoes. She leans back on the sofa, her phone clasped lightly over her chest. She tucks her chin to gesture it when Asami comes in.Â
Her brow arches. âItâs tomorrow, by the way. Am I relieved of my duties?â She runs a hand over her mouth, pensive. âWhat are you thinking? Overtime?âÂ
Asami giggles, gathering her skirt out of the way to sit. âYouâre being such a tease today.â She expects to perch on the corner, but Korra immediately sits up to make space when Asami approaches.Â
âMe?â She says, taking the strawberries. She looks almost jittery the moment she replies, and Asami is reminded of all her quiet lulls through the evening. Korra has been⊠thinking about her. That much is out of the way.Â
Korra eats in a comfortable silence, with her free hand periodically rising to give Asamiâs hair an absent stroke. She pushes one of the strawberries into Asamiâs mouth, while Asami continues to catch up to the sensation of being under her full, eager attention. Once Korra has had her fill she slumps back into the sofa, resting her cheek against her palm so she can face her.
âWould you believe I kind of had fun today?â
Asami scoffs gently. âI mean, I did hope it would at least be kind of fun. It was for the last half hour.âÂ
That earns her another kiss, full-bodied. Thereâs enough nervous energy in itâthe first kiss in fifteen minutes, after allâthat Asami feels both emboldened, and a dizzying lurch in her own stomach. She rides the exhilarating sensation out with her mouth on Korraâs. It lasts a pleasant forever.Â
Itâs quieter here than the hotel; the road, too. The droning heater is off and Naga must be asleep in the other room. When they kiss again, never really having pulled apart, slower and softer than ever, all Asami hears is the joint rise and fall of their breath. The smell of Korra, mixed in with the party wine and now the strawberries, is heady. Before she knows how, Asamiâs hands are deep in Korraâs hair, tugging at the rootsâKorraâs clutching at Asamiâs neckline with a sweaty palm and, unmistakably, moaning.Â
Korra swallows and huffs when they pull away, smiling. âGirl, wow.âÂ
Giddy, and not a little self-conscious, Asami lets her arms fall and tighten around her. Her eyes trail with leisure over Korraâs face, the bare shapes under the little light: the eyes a little drawn from the long night, yet lit deep by an unnameable spark. Then Korraâs head dips from her view and into her shoulder. Like her eyes, all Korraâs movements are somewhat dreamy. She did have several drinks⊠But this is palpably different, thereâs a verve beneath it, an absence of actual dullness thatâs too new and arresting to do anything but feel out, relish. Asami cups the back of her head. When she held her at the dinner table today, it didnât feel so different. It was like Korra had come there to roost.
Asamiâs breath skims between her teeth when she feels Korraâs lips against her cheek and jaw, lingering, deliberate. Itâs apparent now that Korra isnât dazed in any way she doesnât want to beâ but sheâs utterly dazed by Asami. All of a sudden, Asamiâs unsure what to do with the immensity of this knowledge. It would threaten her stance if she was standing. Never had she let herself imagine this might happen, and itâs left her pretty unprepared for the situation.
When Korraâs mouth plants on her neck, thereâs nothing to do but swallow a moan, and then several more. Asami holds her waist tightly, almost stiffly. Her other hand grasps for purchase and finds the hem of Korraâs dress, threatening to ride up as Korra leans further into her. Sheâs warm there, like everywhere; the backs of her thighs are silky, just as much as the weight of her arms is delightfully solid. The way Korra smiles against her skin when Asami does emit a little sigh tells Asami she has no idea how monumentally serious all this really is.Â
Eventually, itâs Korra that pulls back. Her mouth is wet and her eyes are dark. Asami doesnât move her hands, but looks at her with reverent attention, feeling almost polite about it.
âWait, Asami. Canâdo you want toâŠ?â
Asami squeezes gently with both her hands. âIââ She wraps one of the hands over Korraâs shoulder, the thumb stroking her neck. âKorra, seriously, you had a lot of wine tonight. I noticed.â
Korra wipes her mouth discreetly with an aborted sound in her throat. âOnly because you sent me into crisis mode,â she says laughingly, but she does sit back a little.Â
Fuller now, her voice has that lovely late night edge, rougher round the edgesâfrom the sleepiness, the drink, the drunken fumbling. Asami feels the loss, when her tone shifts from the hushed almost-pleas of just a moment ago. It stokes something like regret.
âCrisis-?! Drama queen. I told you, you were amazing with everything. Felixââ
âOh, no, youâre really gonna bring that up with your hand up my skirt?âÂ
They both laugh long. Asami makes a circle with the hand around Korraâs waist, and discreetly pulls the one arguably on her ass down to the back of her knee. It helps her pull Korra in. âI just mean you donât have anything to be worried about. Not a thing.â She says it with meaning, and Korra understands immediately.
Indeed, Korra takes the invitation to kiss her again, on the cheek this time. âSerious question, did you really have faith in me? My stupid ideaâat the beginningâŠâ
A dangerously stupid idea, maybe, but only because Asami couldnât maintain a facade so heart-achingly close. It was sheer luck that Korra had⊠embraced the task the way she had. Maybe that made it a brilliant idea, whether either of them knew it. âIt worked out, didnât it?
ââBecause I was hanging off you from the word go. I was, like... spiraling. Oh my god, Asami.â Korraâs so matter of fact about it, burrowing for a kiss again. âBut not likeâit was like, wow, this is nice. This is us! Did you know that might happen, or just hope Iâd keep my shit togetherâŠâ Sheâs blabbering between her kisses. Asami leaves her mouth free to do it, smiling, playing with her hair. âMaybe you figured it might end like this...â Korra nuzzles below her ear again, her breath warm as spring, her voice molten and tender. âHuh? Is this what you wanted?âÂ
It would be silly to deny something like that right now, but Asami canât help anticipate how bare she would be, if she did admit to it. The door that admission would unlock, and the next one.Â
Korra locks her fingers around her waist and puts her cheek to hers, suddenly chaste. Her voice is different.Â
âItâs okay if you did, you know.â
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Note
Left on the detectiveâs desk, a single red rose and a note written in precise handwriting:
Alex,
What happened to you - you didnât deserve it. You can be loved, if you let yourself.
Happy Valentineâs Day
(yolo experimental style; alex/mason, early established relationship, angst and fluff; no direct mention of abuse, just oblique circling and fatalistic thoughts; rated m for mason; also on AO3~)
Even though I didn't finish reading it, even though I hid it from sight, imprisoned it in darkness, cast it to the depths of the bottom drawer until the end of shift, when it would be possible to smuggle the thing into the break room recycle bin without risking Tina's eyes or interrogation, that stupid fucking note has somehow still managed to reach up through all those heavy files and twist my stomach into knots.
For hours.
Plucking my nerves hard enough to make my hands fucking shake too. Typos in every report, backspace key pulling overtime without pay. Not helped by eyes that won't stop stinging. Armpits that haven't fully dried either, along with a weird chill, shivers that persist despite the sweater and the cranked-up thermostat.
At least the rose is gone. Snuck it into the arrangement on Tina's desk, the one I get her every year.
It looks better surrounded by friends.
It was nice to see it on the desk this morning
(Can still smell it perfuming the air.)
And if I could get rid of my thoughts as easily, I would. Because after half a day of chasing them in circles, I still can't figure out who the fuck sent that goddamn note, who the fuck would write something like thatâsay shit like that, to meâwho could possibly fucking think or know or say anything about that, or that I-I, that Iâ
Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckingfuck.
That sickly feeling wrenches again, hard enough to jerk me forward over the desk, face buried in my hands while my breathing shudders into something unsteady and vaguely gasping.
Fuck.
It can't be Tina.
It can't.
It should be, but it can't.
The writing's not loopy enough to be hers, and it's not slanted enough to be Verda's, and the damn thing isn't covered in nearly enough heart stickers to be from Felix. We all should know. Nate's been sighing nonstop for the past week, scraping them off every available surface in the Warehouseâexcept for the lacy pink one Felix managed to sneak right between Adam's shoulders.
And the glittery red one I pressed covertly to Mason's ass.
(Maybe not so covertly. Found a few hearts stuck to my underwear later when I slipped outta my jeans, and the secrets of how the fuck he pulled that off are still locked behind his smirk.)
A smile tries to pull at my lips, but the tightness in my gut warps it crooked.
Another shuddery breath.
It can't be from Adam either. If he had something to say to me, he'd just say it, preferably after he finished laying me out on the mats, all sweaty and sucking down air from another session of his gentle ass-kicking. Nate, however, would write a note to me. Has written a note to me. Has written many notes to me and still not made a dent in that stack of expensive stationary, and although the card stock was silk cream, the pigment obsidian night, and the calligraphy swooping in almost a dead ringer, I know it can't be from Nate because he would never leave a rose with his words, not the ones meant for me.
But there isn't anyone else.
There's Mason
And it can't be from him.
It's not his handwriting, to start. I think. I'm pretty sure. I've never actually seen his writing, but I can't imagine it would be anything resembling neat or careful. It's gotta be complete chicken scratch. All cramped and illegible. He's left handed too, barely patient enough to sit through a stoplight, much less give ink the time to dry, so there'd be definitely be smears, and there weren't any smears. At all. Can't be him.
Not to mention he'd never do anything like this.
Don't know why he keeps coming to mind anyway. Just because we'reâŠ
Together
âfor now.
Doesn't mean he'd ever say anything like thatâ
He already has
(He did. He said I deserved better and I believe him, but I don't, I can't.)
âonly because he'd say differently if he knew.
If he really knew.
He'd say different and I'm not gonna fucking tell him and it doesn't fucking matter anyway, it doesn't. Shine's gonna wear off soon enough. Novelty, satisfied. Boredom, returning. And at least the conversation won't be awkward, just⊠blunt. To the point. A first for us both, in topic, if not style.
I've never been dumped before, at least not in a romantic sense.
Another breath. Another shuddery breath.
Wonder how it's gonna feel.
(It's gonna suck.)
No fucking shit.
If it can't last, why agree to it at all?
I rub hard at my eyes, grinding palms into sockets.
If it can't last, why not tell him anyway?
Because I already fucking know! Don't need to hear it from him, don't wanna hear it fromâ
If it can't last, why does it matter what he thinks?
ââŠStupid fucking note.â
It was nice to see it on the desk this morning
(Someone took the time, wrote it, left it in here. Someone cares.)
Someone's playing a sick fucking joke, more like.
What if it's genuine?
I scoff ragged, squeezing fingers around the back of my neck.
(Tina cares. So does Verda. The whole team, so many others, I know, and I believe them all but I don't. I can't.)
What if you didn't deserve it?
I did. I stayed and I did. My fault. Fucking stupid, like he always said.
(All Mason ever speaks is care. In a thousand different ways of touch, in silence, in lingering looks, he cares.)
What if you can be loved?
What if you can?
A brittle laugh wheezes past my lips and shoots toward something hysterical, boosted by acid burn and cloying petals and that churning, churning tightness. My shoulders hunch high around my ears while the sound pitches even higher, lungs immolated and screaming along, nails digging, cutting crescents as I shake and curl tighter, smaller, compacting into stiffness hard enough to rival diamonds, every muscle verging on a cramp and my throat is stinging and my eyes are on fire, hot, wet, and the door is closed, the blinds shut, and maybe I could justâ this timeâ if I stayed quiet, I couldâ
I couldâ
But I don't.
I swallow once, twice, suck down, blink it away, then snap upright and get back to work. There's too much shit, not enough time.
Never enough time, not for that.
For you
(Remember to eat lunch.)
I don't.
I don't really remember talking to anyone either. Or finishing paperwork. Answering email. Clearing the inbox backlog, digital and otherwise, but the stack depletes, the numbers go down, Tina gives me shit from the doorway, and soon the peripheral lights tick off overhead in the foyer, a mop bucket rattles its rounds, darkness crept into my office at some point for a visit and now it's here to stay, just its quiet company along with the monitor blasting eye strain, clacking keys, tight shoulders, a headache, and thenâ
A familiar ass plops down on my desk and scares the shit out of me.
I jerk back in the chair, wheels rolling, hand over heart to keep it from pounding free and Mason looms above it all, bathed in harsh blues, deep shadows, a deeper frown, and eyes that refuse to obey the rules of any ambient illumination.
Right now? They're crinkled soft, even as they scrutinize.
He looks⊠worried.
When did he even open my door?
âYou okay, sweetheart?â
ââŠYeah,â I mutter. A lie, an obvious one, but I fight the urge to glance away and dare him to call me out anyway. âYou need something, sunshine?â
A muscle in his jaw twitches. âYou're late.â
âFor what?â
We didn't make plans.
âGetting home.â
Fuck.
I sigh, slumping in the seat, and now I'm looking away, now I'm backing down, running a hand through my hair, mussing and tangling, just like he always does when he's uncertain.
And when the hell did I start doing that?
âYeah, I'm still behind on shit from my vacation. I was gonna stay late tonight, try and catch upâŠâ I explain, because Tina and I also didn't make plans this year.
(Because she's been marinating in smugness ever since I sighed and told her about the relationship. Because she dropped that shit-eating smirk earlierâthat I remember, at leastâdripping suggestion all over my office as she waggled her brows and winked and made obnoxious kissy faces until I shoved her out the door, but not before she told me to 'have lots of fun tonight, Alexandra.')
Sure.
âSorry I didn't text. I⊠forgot.â
That tightness in my stomach does another loop, and I huff a quiet breath.
Stupid fucking note.
Mason folds his arms. ââŠThe fuck is going on with you?â
Concern blunts the teeth of his words, not that there's any real bite. There never is, not with him, but I tense up anyway, expecting it, expecting to be ripped open.
Blood and pain.
I'd tense up no matter how he asked.
It's okay
(He's not Bobby.)
âNothing,â I reply, folding my arms, eyes down, âjustâŠâ
It's okay
(He's not looking to hurt.)
Probably will anyway, but fuck it. I already know his answer.
Let's just get it over with.
âYou didn't leave me a valentine earlier, did you?â My gaze snaps to his. âOn my desk?â
Mason scoffs. âWhy the hell would I do that?â
This time, it stabs instead of twists, higher up, somewhere in my chest. Something sharp instead of dull.
Disappointment? âŠRelief? I'm not sure.
Just that it stings.
And it's nighttime, so maybe he feels it too, and maybe that's why he unfolds his arms and shifts toward me, boot heel dangling by the bottom drawer while his voice drops to a softness that matches his accent. âWhat it say?â
âNothing,â I repeat, even quieter than him. âJust someone fucking with me. It doesn't matter.â
It does
(Shouldn't lie, not to him. Don't need to. Don't want to, don't like it.)
Mason doesn't like it either, but he doesn't push it. Neither do I.
We look away from each other.
The office swelters around us, too stuffy, too small. Too silent and uncomfortable now to stay. I roll forward to save my work, then turn the computer off and Mason's already waiting for me by the door, a dark silhouette framed by distant fluorescent, my coat and bag hanging off his arms. He pulls me in while I put it all on, yanking me by lapels before abandoning them for the sweater on my lower back, the loose hair at my nape. His lips brush against mine in slow movements, soft nibbling, and he's whispering something to me with it all, with the strokes of his fingers and the circle of our chins, but I can't quite hear.
So ask
(He'll answerâand he won't lie.)
I swallow, then I do.
ââŠWhat kind of kiss was that?â
âDunno.â He shrugs beneath my hands, breath tickling my face. âI want you to feel better.â
âOh.â
A shadow flits behind his eyes.
ââŠAnd if he's still bothering you, I'm gonna break his fucking jaw again.â
I chuckle softly. âPretty sure it wasn't him this time.â
âGood.â Mason nibbles another kiss, then smirks. âMight still do it anyway.â
That gets a laugh from both of us, one that sprawls into a pause, grey eyes locked to mine while our grins fade out and our breath catches on everything unspoken and nameless rushing in to take the space.
Honesty. It's what I try to speak. Trailing up from the emotional ooze, raw and sticky.
I hope he can fucking see it, hear it cry, but I wipe it off and whisper the words into shape anyway, cheeks flaming, just to be sureâ
âI'm sorry, I just⊠I don't wanna talk about it now.â
âand he answers me with a brush of his mouth, with his tongue parting my lips, with the way he teases into me before licking deeper, the way he jerks our hips together then shoves, a knee between my thighs, my back into a wall, a door frame, a sharp corner, a low groan rumbling up his chest directly into mine and I hear it all this time, in his breathy panting at the edge of our kiss, the firmness in his fingers angling my face to his, the solid heat of his cock pressed hard against me, grinding slow while I cling tight and moan, I hear it all, but he sucks my lip in with a sharp inhale, rolls me around his mouth before releasing with a drag of teeth, and he murmurs it aloud anyway, just to be sureâ
âI know, sweetheart. It's fine.â
âthen he nips down hard, and it's hard not to smile, hard not to laugh, harder still not to nip that asshole right back, so I don't.
Hold back, that is.
Our lips are swollen and sore by the time the station door swings shut behind us.
#the wayhaven chronicles#twc#twc m#twc mason#mason x detective#mason#the detective#zfic#alex/mason#alexandra black
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