#So I made my own because reposting other people's memes there feels weird

[somanywhatifs]

[puckpocketed]

weird/bad interactions always remind me about the good things. feeling very sentimental under the cut <3

housekeeping

The gist of this is that I'm very grateful every day my first encounters with hockey on here were primarily with kraken lb and sharks lb. You can stop here if you aren't in the mood for an essay LOL

I'm thankful in general for everyone who has ever welcomed me into their hockey spaces for giving me role models to emulate. I feel especially thankful after such a strange, off-putting experience in a new tag just now.

On the off-chance you're the person who took a screenshot of my post to tell me to leave your space and you're reading this: thanks for the chat, no hard feelings and no grudges held. If you're one of the people who uncritically reblogged that post... I can't tell you what to do with your blog but dog piling is a pretty good way to bully people and drive new fans, artists and gifmakers away from your community.

I'm not here to guilt people into being friends with me. and honestly, I don't want friends who would do that. I sincerely hope you grow and the next new fan you encounter gets a warmer welcome than I did. I know most people in the tag aren't like that, but I think I'll shelf that team for now. (my quest to fall in love with 32 teams carries on!)

Anyway, I get pretty mushy about my friends and communities semi-regularly on here so it’s not anything people haven’t heard before, but it’s MY blog and I get to write love letters to my teams and their communities if i want!!!!!

kraken

I take my cues from the way people in this tag treated me. The warm welcome is something I'll always think about, no matter how my relationship to the team and the community at large evolves over time. Sparking my interest in writing again, making new friends, and learning about The Beautiful Game was such a highlight during my summer last year. I am very very tender about this team and community. It’s hard to talk about them sometimes because it’s like… my feelings are so big <3 they are eating me like a soup dumpling. my head is being ripped off and my soupy insides are being sipped <- don’t know where i’m going with that....!

I confess I often feel overwhelmed and lost in the hockey tumblr space as someone who doesn’t participate in shipping/rpf and isn’t attracted to men, but I’ve never felt like people wanted me out because of it. Thank you for accepting me, and accepting the way I love this team and sport.

sharks

Tiny but mighty!! the kraken crossover likely contributed a lot to this, but I've met such amazing people in this tag. We may have different/conflicting opinions about non-sharks teams but we are united in our love for this flop train and my life is enriched by it. Would not commit to a months long research project with any other people ! Mwah <3

There's a whole iceberg's worth of things to say here. I'm trying to keep it short otherwise it would be like.... a whole post of its own LMAO.... i should definitely write a puck-mortem on the primer work one day.

But to give anyone reading this an example: I still think about a sharks writing prompt challenge where the organiser went out of the way to include non-shipping/nonfiction works in their list of acceptable submissions. I won't name or @ anyone in this because that's sooo embarrassing aslkjasdkljdjkl but. we exchanged a few messages about it, and learning that they did that specifically to make sure people like me were included genuinely made me tear up.

I love u sharkudablr <33

kings

Somehow even smaller. Many of us don't have LAK as our primaries, and honestly why would we? The community tinyyy... and only recently we're coming back to life it seems. I really can count on two hands every active kings blog I've met and interacted with. But I value every 6 note post so much <3 also we may be very funny for real actually. incredible memes and collective sense of humour. The memes and gifs and photo edits + reposts are so important to me .

I love our kings, our little family, our little liveblog tag. The way I follow LA is unlike how I follow any other team. they really are my eldest daughter, in that I am holding them to SUCH high standards. Perhaps because out of all my teams their fate seems the most uncertain? Are we on the verge of collapse ? are we cup contenders? are we ever gonna escape the round 1 time loop? <3

I hope one day we're as big and warm as my other beloved team tags. I think we're on our way :)

golden knights

another small but close community. I'm so grateful I saw Adin Hill go ultra instinct and got interested in this team <3 aside from saving me a bit of heartbreak during the trade deadline, I've met amazing new people.

Also, loving this team makes for a great litmus test + rent lowering shots. To be loud about enjoying this team is to filter unserious people out of my tumblr experience <3 Those who were wishing injury on m.stone in particular and those who were uncritically repeating conspiracy theories, thanks for exposing yourself during playoffs. Those who are in the tags of my vgk gifs saying how much you hate this team, thanks for exposing yourselves. I do not go out of my way to be spiteful on here, I think it really does no good. but I fear I don't want to sit with you at lunch if you are doin all that!!

what's really special to me is how our community is small and safe. it is the safest I've felt in a hockey community. I am so happy our discord is place I can go to without fear of seeing one of my other teams/players randomly smeared, I love that it was started with the express intention to avoid simply repeating the unfiltered hatred we experience in other spaces. building with purpose, choosing to be kind... i think that's also something I want to take and run with in my own community building efforts. thanks for being bold enough to be different <3

caps

Quickly rising up from babygirl-in-laws (hi Lucky!!) to BELOVEDS. I think the Dubois trade might be one of those inflection points they talk about in sci-fi movies where they gotta time travel and change the future :) I was already sort of eyeing this team and had a few friends/mutuals who followed them, but the incredible caps fans who have reached out to me to share their love of their team really sold me.

I love talking hockey with everyone I've met. I love the goofy vibes. i love the essays in my inbox. I love that people read the essays i write back. <3 When a link to a video didn't work for me (required a log in) a caps fan simply screen recorded it and posted it. When I asked about the power play I got completely serious hockeypilled answers <3

There is something to love about every team, but I'm finding a huge part of loving them, at least for me, is the people you love them with.

everyone else

If i haven't mentioned a team I like or people I've interacted with it's because there are too many to recall in one go and this post has gotten a lot longer than I originally intended <3 trust that I think of you warmly and often. every person who has ever sent me an encouraging word, discoursed with me about the game and the narratives, and every note on my silly gifs and art - appreciate you more than I can express. you all make being on here such a cool experience.

I hope i love hockey for a long time and keep meeting new people <3

[goron-king-darunia]

Problem...

Annon-Guy: I had to use Submission to say and ask something important.

Apparently, I NEED a tumblr account to ask anonymously from now on and that's stupid!

I'm also not sure about a tumblr page, but are there benefits to having a Page. It would destroy my anonymous persona and I'm don't wish to run into problematic people despite having a YouTube and Fanfic.Net account

GKD here! That does seem weird. Maybe it’s to cut down on anonymous hate messages?

I enjoy having my blog and my page, personally. But I have been here for 10+ years. Honestly, I’ve never had trouble with people being mean to me or running into “problematic people.” Honestly, any time there’s a confrontation, I’m usually the one being the asshole/ unnecessarily aggressive.

Honestly, especially if you intend to lurk/not post original content often, Tumblr is pretty chill. For me at least. I got, like, exactly one piece of legitimate anon-hate thrown at me exactly one time. I’ve talked with people on Tumblr who have the exact opposite political opinions to me and not had explosive dragging drama fights about it.

Granted. Most of the stuff I do on Tumblr is gush about Legend of Zelda, DotNW, a few other fandoms, and then repost a bajillion memes. But I’m pretty openly political with what I reblog, and fairly opinionated. Though most of my opinions are about a game that most of the USA fandom HATED. So my bubble here is pretty niche. But, like. Most of the people in my immediate circle are excellent people and all the people in their circles have so far been delightful. I can honestly only think about exactly one time that someone random searched up a post of mine to get irrationally angry at. And yes I drafted several pages of clap back and then just... the fire of anger fizzled and I never posted it because their irrational hatred just wasn’t worth my time.

I can’t promise you a drama-free experience on here. But I’ve got this blog and a side blog where I mostly talk about my writing or my experiences with video games. And neither of my blogs are lightning rods for anyone’s ire. Hell, when I started this blog, my about section on my page was basically giving people ammo to harass me with. Unless your blog becomes massively popular, I think you’re going to be fine. And if assholes do come knocking for whatever reason? We have the handy little block feature.

That said, you don’t really have to provide any IRL info when you make a blog here. My real name isn’t associated with either of my accounts. You could theoretically just whip up an account with the handle “ThatOneAnnonDude” or something generic, set up your blog title to be “I’m just here to talk games and read memes, and I’m all out of memes.” and just... post absolutely nothing or absolutely anything. And I think you’d generally be okay. I dunno if I’m just lucky, but my experience with Drama™ on Tumblr has mostly been as a spectator. At arm’s length. More like looking over to the mountains on the horizon with binoculars and seeing some smoke rising and thinking to myself “Glad that’s not me, wow.” and continuing with my day.

Personally, I like being able to curate my blog. Gather up a bunch of things that I like and categorize them with tags so I have my own little scrapbook of goodies I can look at (I literally have a tag that’s just “#for the sad times” so if I feel sad I can just pull up that tag on my blog and find all sorts of cute puppy and kitten videos or recipes, or nature photos, or whatever I saw that made me smile once so that I can feel better again. It’s nice.) It’s nifty to be able to tag a bunch of things so that if I want art inspo or a nice reference photo or a knitting project I want to emulate, or whatever, I can just search it up on my own blog and find a bunch of stuff I liked before. It’s nice to be able to search through my Richter tag and see pictures of him that other people drew or re-read some of my own opinions (all the while nodding along like “Yas, I agree so much!” while fully knowing that’s my own damn post. XD) It’s fun to follow a bunch of cool people and get introduced to stuff through osmosis. (I have, like, one person I followed on here for their exquisite taste in ramen art and I am learning so much about the “The Last of Us” HBO show. I have another friend who I followed for DotNW stuff and it turns out they’re just mostly into birds, and it turns out I enjoy learning about birds.)

Honestly it does suck that Tumblr is removing a feature that makes it easier to communicate with me. But Tumblr has been an enjoyable experience to me. I’m just a young whippersnapper practicing for the granny years, sitting on my metaphorical porch with a glass of metaphorical wine, sipping and scrolling through memes, knitting a hat for one of my buds, deciding on a new recipe to make for dinner, listening to goth icons talk about Tumblr culture or a politics video or a Archie Sonic Comics deep dive, procrastinating on my novel. I’m just vibing. I’m having a good time. And occasionally new people with DotNW icons will start following me like I’m a mother duck and I’m like “yes, good, even if we ship different ships, you have impeccable tastes. Welcome to the DotNW table, here are 900 memes, the rare fanfic, and occasionally some opinions. Also here are a billion other memes about irrelevant things, enjoy your stay.”

I’m like an old man at the swap meet. I’m sitting here with a table full of bootleg Yugioh cards (memes), Random DVDs (gifsets of things I like), old classic literature (the really good memes that get passed around a lot) and Slim Jims (opinions, curated art, and idea prompts about specific characters and games.)

It’s fine if you’re shy or prefer not to have a Tumblr for any other reason and I understand if we might have to communicate only through submissions from now on. But honestly, Tumblr is a pretty chill place to be as long as you don’t go picking fights on purpose and block anyone that makes you even remotely unhappy. It takes a little getting used to, since Tumblr as a site has its own sort of culture. But hey! Tumblr also has resident meme historians.

If you want to give Tumblr a try, I think it’s worth a shot. My only gripe is that I get major FOMO, so I compulsively scroll Tumblr every day and then overwhelm myself by drafting an infinite number of posts that look neat but I want to read and tag properly before posting and WHOOPS now I have 300,000 drafts to comb through instead of just deleting them all because “what if there was something good in there that I’ll miss?”

But if you have even an ounce of self control and don’t have to compulsively read or reblog everything, then congrats! Tumblr’s probably worth a shot.

It’s also worth noting that I’m a massive mother hen, so I will keep you nice and cozy and tucked under my wing and if anyone gives you a bad time I will peck the shit out of them for you.

[princessofprocrastination]

She’s Creepy (Dream)

MASTERLIST

pairing : dream / clay x reader. 

summary : apparently being a huge fan of a big youtuber is considered being a creep, according to minecraft gamer, dream. and ever since he called you mean things, your world turned upside down. (ANGST) (TRIGGER WARNING)

a/n : i’m aware i’ve been writing all angsts, i just enjoy a little heartbreak. this is a two part story!

you haven’t been on social media as a public figure for long, but that doesn’t mean you haven’t been on social media before this.

you knew people, you had people you look up to, as of many other social media influencers or content creators. 

you grew pretty quick on youtube and instagram. your content mostly included room makeovers whenever you felt bored of your own home or your storytimes. you blew up from talking about your stalker. 

since then, your subscibers stayed with you and supported you, saying that you have a charm, and that you exert good energy and vibes. and those type of comments have always made your day.

you always shared with your supporters about your life, not too personal but enough for them to feel included. of course, you’re not telling them your phone number or address, but you tried to share as many details you can legally in your story times. 

that also meant that you would tell your supporters small details about you, such as what book you were currently reading or who you’ve been watching on youtube. 

even before you stated posting on your channel, you’ve been watching a minecraft youtuber, dream and his friends. 

some of your fans would tag them in some of your instagram posts, or tweets that brought no harm so you never really acknowledged it since it wasn’t hurting anyone. 

you weren’t “fangirling” you’d say. it was more of you supported them and found them funny and entertaining. 

coincidentally, you landed yourself on the dream team tiktok, which means that dream and his friends were all over you for you page. 

and to show that you were active and not dead to your followers on instagram, you’d post a funny tiktok, usually included the dream team. you thought it was harmless. to you, it was just a way to show support. 

but only a couple days later, hashtags about you and the dream team, more specifically, just dream, were trending. 

when you saw this, opening your twitter app, you immediately went to find out what this was about. your heart jumped when you thought maybe dream acknowledged you. 

in fact, it was worse. 

what was trending was a short video clip during one of the dream teams chill streams on the dream smp. 

the conversation between george, sapnap and dream went like this. 

“you guys heard about that girl who kept reposting tiktoks about us on her instagram story?” george asked the other two boys. 

“heard she watched us before she even started her channel” sapnap. 

“i don’t know about you guys, but i think she’s being a little creepy.” dream said. 

your heart sunk to your stomach. did your actions portray you to be a creep to other people?

“dream, you can’t just say that, especially on stream.” sapnap scolded him, george also mumbling something. 

“why can’t i? i feel creeped out by her, a public figure posting me all over her socials.” dream replied, tone serious. 

you clicked off the video, before it replayed again. you couldn’t get yourself to rewatch that, to hear those words again. 

almost crying, you told yourself to suck it up, that this wasn’t worth you crying. 

although they were who you looked up as minecraft gamers, this wasn’t worth your breakdowns. 

that was until, you opened your direct messages.

you shouldn’t have. you knew the dream team stans would easily hunt you down, to ask you to back off from creeping their idol off. 

but no, you still opened your dms. you expected a normal dm, ones that say they support you or some of your friends sending you memes through instagram. 

what you didn’t expect was to see a flood of threats. 

some said “kill yourself, you don’t deserve a spot on earth after what you did.” and “back off and leave my mans.” 

it got worse from there. you thought maybe it’s just the dms, but you didn’t expect it to blow up more, with people tagging you with photos on instagram and twitter. people “cancelling” you. 

you didn’t understand how this blew up like this. you were even more baffled to see some of your supporters sending you threats, too. 

was this what you deserved? 

you weren’t one to make rash decisions, nor were you a suicidal person. 

you felt stupid. just because you supported big youtubers, you get this type of treatment?

the threats, the dm, never stopped. for three whole months, you had to deal with the never ending mean comments on your social media. you thought it would die down. 

it came to the point of seeing your address and your phone number all over the internet. you never thought it would lead to this. 

you didn’t know what to do anymore. 

not long after, people started showing up to your apartment. 

sure, your apartment didn’t have the best of security, which you blamed no one but yourself for being a public figure and living somewhere with little to no security. 

they started with knocking on your door during ungodly hours. next was mailing weird stuff or sending stuff to your house. lastly, which tipped you off was that they would vandalize your apartment. 

they would egg your front door, pee, or spray paint your walls of the outside. 

you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

soon enough, you knew you had to stand up for yourself. you had to call the police. 

and that was exactly what you did. you called the authorities, which made the brave teenagers leave you alone. 

while they were egging your house and making your life miserable, you knew this was the only time for you to make a rash decision. to leave the country, to somewhere no one else would fine you at. somewhere unpredictable, that no one would expect you to go.

it took a lot for you to book a plane ticket, box up your belongings and move to a completely different country, away from your hometown, florida. 

you loved it in florida. though it was humid all the time, you enjoyed it. now that you had to leave, you only had a little while to cherish it before you leave it all behind. 

and your family, your friends. the ones you’ve grown up with, ones you’ve grown to love and cherish. you had to leave that too. and without telling them too much information. 

that hurt the most, needing to leave your loved ones behind, to start a new life, to start afresh. 

-

DREAM’S POV

i didn’t know what was happening. one thing added onto another and soon it was out of control. 

i didn’t say anything at the start, not thinking it would go this far. i didn’t know to what extent my fans would go.

sure, i saw all the things happening, but i didn’t do anything to stop it. 

i saw her address and phone number all over social media, and did nothing about it. 

george and sapnap said something, and pushed me to do something about it, but i didn’t. i was stubborn.

speaking of, it’s been months since i heard anything about her from her herself, everything i see is from my fans or hers, wondering where she is.

should i be worried?

-

YOUR POV

you left florida. the only people you told were your parents and your childhood friend, not trusting anyone else. 

what you told them was vague, that you needed to leave, away from the US. specifically, you moved to Australia. 

you made a decision to not live near the city, but the outskirts. 

you were lucky that you weren’t a spender and you made more than enough money to make the decision to leave so suddenly. 

lucky for you, you went to college and had a degree in law, so you didn’t need to worry about not having a job.

you never thought you’d make use of your degree this early in your life, thinking that youtube and being a content creator would last a little while longer. 

you had to change you hairstyles, your fashion in general since you had to be in a more professional setting. although it was hard transitioning from a casual wear and having crazy coloured hair to wearing pant suits or formal dresses and going back your natural colour. 

three years. it took you three full years for you to even think of visiting your parents in florida again. also, given the fact that you had a stable job and you couldn’t up and leave. 

but recently, you were offered to work at another law firm in florida. you were happy to tell that to your family back home but at the same time, you were hesitant to go back to your nightmares. 

but you braved yourself, since you missed your family dearly. 

now, you were sitting on your desk in your cozy home, finalizing up the last of your move, like getting a house back in florida, this time with a better security just in case. 

boxes of your clothes and belongings went first, to reach your new house there before you did so it was easier for you, not having to worry about your stuff. 

you asked none of your family’s help, not wanting to burden them. instead you told them to just meet you at a restaurant you booked for you and your family and friends for dinner about three weeks after you landed. 

although they protested, saying it was too long until they can see you again, you told them to not worry and that you were going to use those three weeks to start working at the new law firm.

you decided to take a straight flight from australia to florida, not wasting any time. although it was almost a twenty-two hour long flight, you sat throug and got to your hometown safely. 

you didn’t know what was going on with the three boys you used to adore, since you didn’t have social media anymore. 

but you didn’t mind it, it was peaceful. 

two weeks since you’ve stepped foot in florida again. it felt amazing to breathe your hometown air again. it was refreshing. 

you have fully settled in your new house, and workplace. you were glad to have met your co-workers. they were all super welcoming and made sure you weren’t left behind in anything. 

so far, your transition from australia to florida has been smooth, and you weren’t worried about anything. 

you got a car since you’ve arrived, so that you could travel easily from one place to another. 

not to brag, but. you were making enough money to live a lavish lifestyle. a big house and a pretty expensive car, and that didn’t even make a dent in your bank account. 

you were proud to see that you achieved all this yourself, and only within a couple of years. 

you were just excited to meet your family in real life instead of facetime. 

finally, the day of the dinner with your family came. unfortunately, you had to take a case in the afternoon, so you had to come to dinner in your work pant suit, with a turtleneck and a little late. 

they understood it and told you not to worry about it, and that they would just seat themselves by your name instead of waiting for you. you promised you’d pay their dinners and apologized once again. 

the sound of your heels comforted you as you walked from the valet to the restaurant. you were a little nervous to meet them again face to face after three years. but you couldn’t wait to catch up with them and tell them all about your work life that you could never tell them during the facetime calls. 

you smiled to yourself, thinking nothing could go wrong. and nothing could really go wrong anyways, it was just a dinner after all.

but you hadn’t expected the three boys you used to idolize to be eating dinner at the same restaurant you and your family would be at, specifically, opposite your table.

you walked in the restaurant, telling the front of the house that you had a table reserved under your name and that you were pretty sure the rest of your family was already there. 

she politely told you to walk alongside her, leading you to your family. 

you weren’t paying attention to your surroundings. you were solely focused on seeing your family that you didn’t know that there were extra pair of eyes staring at you. 

you smiled as your family saw you. your mum crying while standing up to hug you tightly, as she once did three years ago. 

you could hear your friends shout your name loudly, as if to tell the whole world that you were finally here. 

“don’t cry, i’m staying, no more going back to australia, i swear.” you told your mum, trying to reassure her that you were fine and that you were not going to leave her again, since she hadn’t stopped crying.

you moved to hug your dad, who had been patiently waiting for his turn after his wife. “you look great, kiddo.” you thanked him as he complimented your professional look. 

you sat down, somewhere in the middle, between your family, opposite of your parents so that everyone could clearly see and talk to you easily. 

with how noisy you family were, you were sure the entire restaurant knew your name and where you had just moved from. 

they asked you about australia, what was it like to work there, away from your family. you caught up with every single one of them. 

“don’t you live in that really expensive neighbourhood right now?” one of your childhood friends asked. 

you winked at her, discreetly trying to answer her question. the whole table shouted and congratulated you for making it this far, in only a matter of short years. 

you covered your face, shy, not wanting this part of your life to be told to everyone in the restaurant. 

-

GEORGE’S POV 

there she was. the person whose life we practically ruined. luckily, we didn’t ruin it all for her. i guess she made use of her brains and is working a normal job.

“dude.” i tried to attract the other two boys’ attention. 

“i know.” both of them answered me. 

“she’s rich rich, huh?” sapnap almost chuckled but was totally serious saying that. 

“yup.” dream. 

ah yes, clay. the man dream himself. sapnap and i tried to persuade him into making it right for her, for you. 

sure, he had said those mean words, but he can take it back. three years ago, at least. 

she disappeared three years ago. vanished. no one knew where you went. some say you moved out of the country, which deemed to be true. couple of years later people started to find out what you worked as, but i tried my best to help get rid of the information 

but they just couldn’t pinpoint where. you basically uped and left everything. 

and there was time to apologize, but it had been to late. 

i thought she died, quite frankly. i didn’t want to be the cause of someone dying. well at least, not me, but my friend. 

now us three were seated in a pretty formal and expensive restaurant to eat dinner. and we did not expect to see her here. 

she came in a little late, wearing a very professional wear. seemed like you went to work before this. 

i knew you were a lawyer, we three knew that since our fans found it out. 

she looked completely different. hair not her usual crazy colours. just seeing her in heels baffled me. she was wearing something formal and that wasn’t what you usually wore, years ago. 

- 

DREAMS’S POV 

she’s beautiful.

not that she wasn’t before. 

but this version of her was different. her in her pant suit, in heels. a turtleneck under her blazer. 

she looked elegant. classy. rich. 

i mean, she is rich. 

her family screamed when she told them where she lived. and man, that neighbourhood only had rich people. it had one of the best, if not the best security you could ask for. 

it wasn’t easy to buy a house there. even if you had the money, you’d need a certain bank card to be allowed to even be shortlisted. 

and if i saw it correctly, she drives a bentley that was just parked by a valet kid. 

damn. she is one successful woman. 

i know, how could i think this much of her, how dare i when i didn’t even apologized. i didn’t even try. 

in fact. i did. even before she went MIA, fully on social media, i sent her direct messages everywhere. she never replied to any of them. 

and i knew no one that had her phone number. and soon enough, no one had heard from her in three years. 

and now she’s back. more beautiful than ever. 

i needed to speak to her i couldn’t live with the guilt that stayed for these past three years. 

my fans, my so called supporters made her life a living hell and i almost did nothing to stop it. 

i’m sure she hates me. but i have to try somehow, right?

question is, she didn’t have a social media anymore, and i can’t just speak to her now that she was sitting opposite my table. 

i kept on pondering as i heard a little bit of her conversation, about her life. 

i guess she moved to australia, and worked in a lawfirm in the outskirts. so unpredictable of her. no one would’ve guessed that in a million years. 

i watched as i see her smile as she listened to what her parents were saying. 

i cherished the smile since i didn’t know when was the next time i’d see her. 

she asked the waiter for the bill, covering the whole cost of her and her huge family’s meal. 

damn, this girl is too rich for her own good. 

she puts down the bill on the table, also leaving a generous tip for the waiter that served them. she stood up to walk after her family, needing to pass my table. 

since she had been oblivious to her surroundings, i didn’t expect her to spot us, to notice us. 

but i was wrong. 

PART 2

[duskamethyst]

only mine.

a/n: my first bnha fic! im in love with the anime and i simp for so many characters aha

word count: 1.6k

genre: mature, implied nsfw (characters are aged up)

warnings: kidnapping, drugging, yandere behavior

pairing: yan!kaminari x gn!reader

summary: you and kaminari are fuck buddies. 

“man, can’t you just sleep over?” kaminari groans as he rolls onto his side, his elbow props himself up to watch you get off the bed to collect your clothes that were stripped and thrown onto the floor. 

“denki, no.” you say sternly while putting on your hoodie, missing the pouty look on the male’s face. 

“not even for one night?” he pleads. 

“nope!” you stick out your tongue teasingly before walking towards the door and turning the knob. “not ever.”

“sheesh, you’re such a hardass.” 

“call me whatever you want,” you roll your eyes as you step out and slowly close the door before peeking your head in again, “see ya.”

it has been months since you and kaminari been fucking on each other’s bed. it started with small talks before he (quickly-- after just a couple of times seeing each other)  began to openly flirt with you. kaminari was a fun a guy to be around with, kind of dumb and he looked like he meant no harm. you decided to entertain the fellow, shamelessly retaliate his flirtatious behavior (which was so much better than his game that it made him flustered often) until the both of you found yourselves together, bare and dripping with sweat in bed. 

you and kaminari formed a “pact” that it should remain as is, no strings attached and leaving the only label on it as fwb. being each others’ booty call is hell lot of fun, the sex is bomb and you don’t have to commit and have feelings for each other. you made it clear that this should remain a secret and that you both are free to fuck around with other people too but as much you’d like to believe that he understood it, kaminari never failed to constantly spam your phone with unnecessary texts about your well being, how your day went or asking if you wanted to go to shopping with him. it was a bit suffocating but if he was lucky enough, he’d get a short reply if not left on read.

you stick to your own belief that is to leave as soon as you’re done wrecking each other. no cuddles, no pillow talks or whatever those cheesy things couples normally do because the more time you spend together, there would be no doubt that one of you would start to catch feelings and it’s the last thing you want to have right now. the longest that you would stay at his place was only to take a quick shower after doing the deed, but not before having him almost begging to come in with you.

still, that doesn’t stop the male to often ask you to hang out and stay with him after a couple of hours together. you had to constantly remind him how this whole thing works but sometimes you could still see how he was burning holes behind other people who he thought was looking at you for too long or making you laugh too much and you couldn’t help but to wonder if he was taking this differently from you. whenever you confronted him about it, he’d get extremely defensive about his behavior and said you were just imagining it or that he was joking. not wanting to argue any further, you’d often leave it at that.

hanging around with the guys is when his little antics gets worse. kirishima often invites the crew to his place to play video games and he always manages to find a way to lay a finger on you or openly flirts with you. he’d usually make sure that he is the one that gets to sit next to you or purposely hangs an arm protectively around your shoulders as he casually speaks to the others-- which earns the both of you some weird looks. kaminari notices it and he lives for it. it makes him even prouder to be able to claim you in some sort of way.

“been kinda wondering-- you guys are fucking each other or something?” sero suddenly questions while his eyes are glued to the screen in desperation of beating bakugou in the racing game.

“hell ye- OUCH!” you yank your elbow on kaminari’s side to cut him off.

“who the hell would?” you quickly reply, earning some laughs from the other males present. 

“then, you’re free after this?” he turns his head to wink at you, giving a small room of opportunity for bakugou to slip through sero’s car and eventually finish the whole two laps. 

the blonde male grunts and hits sero’s head with his controller, “fucking idiot! you didn’t even take this seriously! kirishima! you’re next!”

“well, someone’s bound to take care of that bump on your head now, huh?” you tease, and sero is one to quickly catch on to that as a wide grin spreads across his face. 

“dude, i owe you one!” he chuckles and lightly taps on bakugou’s shoulder. 

“i should’ve kicked you in the balls.” he grumbles, finger expertly pushing one of the joysticks as he chooses his preferred sports car for the next race.

the night goes on as usual, each of you taking turns on the racing game that bakugou insists on only playing for the rest of the night which none of you dared to say otherwise. everyone has their shares of laughs, you think-- missing the scowl on kaminari’s face whenever you choose to only spare him your half-assed attention while sero shows you his collection of memes on his phone. it’s probably mean of him to think how sero looks like a fucking simp that has to impress you in order to woo you for the night but he couldn’t care less. he knows you best-- knows how you do things your way and seeing you “subtly” being flirtatious right in front of his face angers him to no end. 

you’re acting like it, like a... what was it again? a whore? it has been at the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t dare to say it. he feels bad enough to even think about you that way and know that he shouldn’t since you both are in this stupid “relationship” that people use as an excuse just to hop from one dick or pussy to another because they’re too “afraid” of or don’t want any commitments or whatever. kaminari gets the idea, he’s not that dense but it’s unfair how he can’t bring himself to do things like you-- not when he’s already catching feelings this quick.

for the sake of not wanting to ruin the night nor the only thing that binds you to him, he chooses to keep his cool until you guys part ways. he doesn’t even realize how hard he’s clenching his fists when he finds out that you left with sero while he’s gone for a bathroom break. 

— come over tonight? ;-)

a week has passed since that night. you notice that kaminari haven’t been constantly flooding your inbox like he used to and it has been the least of your worries. in fact, you enjoyed it. you had your time being around other people more without having them to think that he’s a threat to them and he was less touchy than he used to be. you have no clue about the reason for his change in attitude and you couldn’t find the reason to ponder about it anyways.

he comes over as asked, an activity that is far from foreign for the both of you. kaminari happily shows you the bottle of booze from his bag as he enters your home-- neither of you has to say it, you both know that you’re going to have mindless, drunk sex tonight. 

“don’t worry, i’ll make sure to sleep on the couch.” he reassures, pouring the liquor into two glasses in your kitchen as you sit down lazily on the couch. 

“you better be,” you reply, going through the movies available on netflix from the tv screen. “you can choose what you wanna watch.”

kaminari walks over and offers you one of the glasses before sitting down next to you. he goes through the movies before choosing one, sipping on his drink and glancing towards you through the corner of his eyes once in a while. he can’t help but to suppress a smile through his glass when he catches you take a gulp and your face squirm at the bitter taste. 

“it’s so strong.” you mumble after a few more sips and a few minutes into the movie that you are trying to pay attention to. you believe that your alcohol tolerance isn’t that bad but the way those few sips are already making your head spin instead of the familiar high that should succumb your mind by now.

“for real? i think you’re just imagining it.” he replies coyly as his eyes bore through the screen.

“i’m not--” the spinning starts to become unbearable and your eyelids are getting heavy so you quickly lay your head down and close your eyes on the couch in an attempt to soothe it down before kaminari reaches to rub smooth circles on your head.

“shh, do you wanna puke?” his voice is too calm despite the situation. knowing him, he’d be absolutely frantic when things go wrong. you try to open your eyes, but the lights do nothing but cruelly inflict the pain even more. 

“no.. i just-- carry me to bed..?” you whine as you welcome the comfort he’s offering.

kaminari just watches you as you slowly drift into a deep slumber, your chest heaving up and down as you breathe. he calls your name a few times to test the waters before he finally lets out a sinister chuckle and hovers over your body to kiss your cheek.

“poor baby. don’t worry, i’ll bring you somewhere nicer.” he whispers as he gazes adoringly at your unlively state. so vulnerable. 

“then i can have you all to myself.”

duskamethyst © 2020 • do not modify, translate or repost anywhere.

[onlyonecanbeking]

Farewell.

Well well, odd to see me writing again, isn't it?

I will admit, it almost feels strange to write a post on this account, considering its dormancy for so long. How long has it even been? A year? 

Oh god, does anyone remember me? I'm the person that wrote weird "Figment Darkiplier" posts. Ring any bells? Hehe.

I write this post, as a way to simply ramble out my thoughts and feelings. There is no script, no plot, it's simply me. I apologize if it is nonsensical. 

  So .... everyone, it has been one hell of a year. I believe that we've all experienced something difficult in 2020, whether it be loss, loneliness, self reflection, or any number of challenges.

From the month of February until August, I was one of the multitudes of millions of people who had to quarantine within our homes. Over that period of time, stuck with myself, I had a very long time to think, and to grow. I realized that many things in my life were not unfolding the way that I wanted them to. That the things I had surrounded myself with did not properly encapsulate who I was, and am, as a person.

When I started this account, I was a lonely highschooler desperate for some sort of creative release. I used the character of Darkiplier as an escape, playing a role of power and charisma. It was intended to be my own personal journal, a place to practice writing, as it was my passion. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever anticipate that I would amass a community of this size. Over four thousand of you enjoyed my work enough to stick around, and that was just beyond crazy to me.

I think the rapid climb to "fame", to put it selfishly, was both scary and addictive. Receiving the adoration and compliments from online peers gave me a euphoria I didn't even know I needed. I rode that high for a long time, and I made very many friends from it.

But I also made many mistakes. I will not come before you and tell you that I am a "good" person. I have a selfish personality. I overachieve. I'm an attention hog. I want to excel so badly that sometimes I use the expense of others in order to progress. But I can say with utmost certainty that I poured my heart and soul into this account, into the lore I have created, into the story I have made, into everything that is important to me. I cherish my friends. I accept my losses. I never stop attempting to grow and learn as a human being. 

Through that growth, I have come to realize that I surrounded myself with the wrong people. I gave my trust, and my care to individuals who took my patience as weakness. It is unfortunate that many times, those who I thought cared for me, only cared for the "popularity" I might offer them. What I could do for them, and their image, completely overshadowed me as an individual. As time continued, it became more apparent that even my closest friends were beginning to use my world and my story, to fetishize, clique, discriminate, and bully. There was even a period of time where I joined in that "mean girls" behavior. I laughed behind the backs of people I loved. I criticized people cruelly. I became the very person I had been shoving out of my life for years. It disgusted me. 

During the quarantine, trapped alone with myself, I realized that I had become a monstrosity, and that I needed to change. I did what I could to persuade others to join in my efforts, but I am only one person. I have since removed all bad influences out of my life. Those influences would happily call me two-faced and manipulative, because I stopped giving them exactly what they wanted: my attention.

Still, I am never free of sin. Just within the last few years, I have been childish, or too eager. I have rubbed my nose in places I shouldn't have. But I would hope it is clear to everyone, that I only ever wanted the best outcome for the people I cared about.

I suppose this has become a ramble, but I wish to share all my feelings, all my last messages, because of this: this will be my last post. There are too many faces on this website, and too many memories, that mean too little to me. I have continued to return to the account, doing simple reposts just to... I'm not sure. Continue being relevant? But it feels hollow now. There is no reason for me to continue holding on things here. The things that I hold dear remain elsewhere, and that is where I will focus my attention. 

I met the love of my life, who has offered me nothing but total support, care, compassion, patience, and most importantly, unconditional love during even the most difficult phases of my journey. I am so grateful to them and everything they have done to me. I have achieved what I set out for in college, and have a steady job in a forensics lab. But once I get past my own anxiety and self-doubt, I want to join my partner and co-author books with him, as a true career.

My horizon branches far beyond this tumblr now, as I'm sure is the case for many many many other people. But for some reason, I felt it necessary to just write a goodbye. 

So I suppose, what I will finally say is this.

Thank you. Thank you for the fantastic memories. Thank you for the nights I spent scrolling through fanart, nearly in tears because my work had meaning. Thank you for the companionship, with so much interaction and support. Thank you for the laughter, the jokes and the memes. Thank you for the lessons, for reminding me of my values. Thank you for teaching me  about self respect, standing up for what I believe in, and never taking shit from anyone. 

I will not delete the account, just in case any random post in here sparks joy. But it will be only an archive from now on. I hope that in some way I have had a place in some of your lives, hopefully for the better. Perhaps in the future I will edit this post and add a discord link to the figment manor. We will see.

But, to all of you reading this, thank you for sticking around.

So, for the last time.

Goodbye, Lovelies.

[tricktster]

Hey, I'm just letting you know I noticed some of your posts have been reposted on facebook by "Just Sock Thoughts"

Yeah, I feel like I get my Premium Original Content scooped by aggregators pretty frequently, and for the most part I don’t mind (or like... just don’t see it because I can’t bring myself to actually get into Instagram). But there are two aggregator incidents that stand out in my mind as particularly remarkable:

Incident 1:

I’d probably have a much bigger head about the relative frequency that one of my posts takes off if I didn’t know that becoming an Extremely Minor Internet Personality is way less about making good content than it is about... random luck, I guess. 

Like, this is actually a sideblog (so for any of my longtime buddies on here who might be wondering why I’m not following you? I prooooobably am). At the time I made this sideblog (2015-2016?), I never thought it would pick up more followers than the 200 or so I had managed to coax into following my main blog over the course of four-ish years. 

I was wrong, this account rapidly accumulated followers, and now I get scooped by aggregators on the reg. And like... it’s not like I’m doing anything different on this one than I was doing on my main, other than obscuring my identity a little better? I’m not funnier here, I’m not changing my formula, it’s just that I got enough followers when I first made this sideblog (through my patented process of Writing Explicit Undertale Fanfic in the Hopes of Getting Enough Monetary Donations That I Could Afford To Eat) that now even though I’m just posting my own weird niche bullshit on here, the odds are stacked in my favor towards any one of my posts picking up a lot of notes. If I posted the same exact thing on my extremely obscure main? The odds swing HARD the other way. In the 3-4 years before I made the trickster account, I was lucky to break 10 notes on a post, and 500 was as high as any of them went. 

Except for one. 

You’ve probably seen the post I’m talking about. It’s surpassed my most popular trickster posts by like... several hundreds of thousands of notes. I’m not linking it here for two reasons: 

A) I never scrubbed all my selfies off my main and I don’t need all y’all discovering that I’m hot as hell, and more importantly 

B) the post in question fucking sucks. 

It’s like the lowest effort meme, it’s smug and annoying, and it basically reeks of the worst era of r/athiesm. It’s the sort of shit that gets popular on facebook groups that wish they were “I fucking love science” but can’t achieve the same degree of quality... even though it’s an extremely low hurdle for them to jump. It evokes the concept of a fedora. Whenever I see it on tumblr, I want to hop in a time machine, travel back to the 17th century, convince Matsubayashi Henyasai to take me on as a pupil, train under his tutelage until he declares that I have mastered my chosen weapon, hop back into the time machine, travel to 2013, infiltrate my old apartment, and finally, at the precise moment my former self is about to click “post” on that dumbass meme, destroy her mouse, laptop, and cellphone with an incredibly accurate barrage of shurikens. 

Still, like... while it makes me cringe to my very soul whenever I encounter it, there’s a tiny part of me that has spent the last eight years just BASKING in the validation of knowing that there are several hundred thousand anonymous people out there who think I’m funny. It is not an attractive part of me, but shit, I’m an Extremely Minor Internet Personality, and you don’t become that unless you’re in some way motivated by the approval of anonymous strangers.

I’m giving you all this backstory so you can understand the significance of something that happened last month.

There I was, innocently scrolling through my news feed to see how my Trumpy uncle was justifying the whole coup thing, when I came upon a familiar image. I recoiled in horror, and then examined it more closely.

The Coolest Guy I Knew In College But Never Succeeded In Really Befriending (Because I Was Too Intimidated By How Cool He Was) had just shared my smug, cringy-as-hell meme from 2013 on his wall... and the version he had shared had been not only watermarked by one of the aforementioned wannabe “I fucking love science” groups, but also had a copyright symbol on it next to the name of some dude I’ve never even heard of.

THE MAELSTROM OF CONFLICTING EMOTIONS IS STILL OVERWHELMING ME TO THIS DAY. I AM WINCING. I AM INDIGNANT. I AM REASSESSING WHETHER THAT GUY WAS ACTUALLY AS COOL AS I THOUGHT HE WAS. I AM WEIRDLY AMUSED. I AM EXTREMELY CONFUSED. 

I AM SUSPICIOUS THAT SOMEONE MIGHT BE MAKING MONEY OFF OF MY NONSENSE, AND IF SO, I WOULD LIKE MY GODDAMN CUT. 

...

i’m fine

i’m gonna be fine

Incident 2:

This really requires a lot less elaboration than the last one, but @anagha-draws brought this aggregator post to my attention and I just can’t stop thinking about the fact that there’s a guy out there who got paid some amount of actual U.S. dollars to write a book report about the time I accidentally played WAP for my mom’s book club. 

[ranmanjuu]

—gen z mc with uesugi-takeda + misc. forces

ahh, i’m so glad people liked my gen z oda hcs! lol it’s usually pretty slow from my writing blog experiences until now, but i’m rlly happy! i was planning to do u-t and the others but then i decided to stop at oda and continue another day. thx for the asks tho! and yeah, i do take requests but it’s more of a pasttime, since this whole blog is just my stupid ideas written out and shared out there.

also someone said that a gen z mc could be old enough to romance the warlords, like, early twenties. and yes, very fair if u wanna romance ur mans with memes and existentialism go for it!! i just think it adds more to the comedy side of this child they have to babysit, while not fearing death or any consequences from their dumb of Ass decisions. someone who fears no death and armed with no braincells is a fool, but a Child who fears no death and armed with no braincells is also a fool, but more bizzare and has That Vibe y’know

@niphredil-14​ and @arthotsglasses​

tw: s*icidal, violent jokes treated in a light manner

also spoilers to some things of their characters

—kenshin:

who is this,, , sassy lost child??

he first saw you prepared to throw hands with ronins who were being Elite Dickheads. ofc, armed with nothing compared to the sworded-adults, he had to interfere.

no matter how cold he treated you, masking his secret !!!-like concern, you seemed so unfazed through it. you still interacted with him like normal,,,,, why?? do you want a death wish?

and each time he threatened you with,, anything, you responded with, “the only one who gets to hurt & kill me, is ME”

...... what?

he’s convinced you’re the biggest fool of a person. and he’d be right but even so, he has a weirdly strong need to protect you as you two got closer. you’re often with sasuke, so it’s harder to avoid you.

even with all the Horrible jokes you make on a daily basis, if your passionate side with everyone having equal rights of being treated as human, for him it shows a side of you that makes you seem precious and pure and kind hearted.

and the overprotective side increases.

which is, ,, a bit problematic sometimes cause you have the tendency to target and piss off anyone in a 10 meter range by just one (1) sassy comment, along with your lack of impulse control and blurting out everything in your mind. it’s made you a lot of short enemies in the sengoku period, and kenshin would always be ready to slice them down behind you.

sasuke has to tame him down with his Masters degree in kenshin-wrangling.

at banquets, kenshin would often have you beside him. if you’re too young for sake do age for drinking exist in sengoku? probably not. it’s more of sasuke advising for him to not give you alcoholic drinks he’ll have you pouring for him or just munching away at pickled plums or food.

—shingen:

(ngl i kinda had a hard time with this since it’s erasing a big part of his overall character,,, flirting)

once he heard the news that oda had taken in somone as young as you during honno-ji,, ,,,he’s in a very “how dare that demon >>:( taking such a pure soul,....”

and when you’re taken to kasugayama as a captive, you’re,,, surprisingly very calm and whelmed. you don’t have much sign of fear or anxiety in your overall demeanor meanwhile you’re busy dissociating and spacing out to feel those

you actually don’t seem to hate your captor. but shingen isn’t sure if your ‘fingerguns’ is a good thing or not cause it depicts you pointing guns @ him,, (dw is good shingen)

while yes being held hostage—no matter how good you’re being treated—isn’t ideal and kinda not very cash money, you consider shingen v chill. man has a kindheart!! “i diagnose you with good vibes.”

if he ever sees your righteous side, as everyone else, he’ll deeply admire you. he himself is someone who believes in such as well. and hearing the circumstances in the modern world regarding those things (blm, etc.) his heart truly does go out for you. he feels sympathy for such a young person like you having to take action

also your dirty humor around him, echigo’s player, kind of makes him question where and how you learnt it

and,, his illness.

through getting straight to the point and not falling for it each time he changes subject/dodges the question, you managed to get to the bottom of his illness. shingen himself thinks it’s not something you have to burden with knowing—you’re so, so young.

but that doesn’t matter to you. the world’s given you such a shit time, you’re mature enough to understand the situation at least.

and as he finishes his explanation, all there was is silence. it felt wrong to say any of your usual quips,, so all you did was slowly came there and hugged him.

that was more than what he’d ask for.

—sasuke:

oh hell yeah

you are in your element with him. the chillest guy to talk to, and probably the first one you’re the closest to

your phone was dead after like 2 days of use, and you were miserable while hideyoshi, like a typical parent, told you to go outside and into town. sensing your bad mood, sasuke asked what’s up. you deadpanned, “my phone game ended and now i’m ready to commit not breath.” you oslemnly look out in the bustling streets and clutched your fist like an Anime Protagonist, “those boomer memes were right all along... i am absolutely Miserable and Useless(^TM) without it.”

in response, you could’ve sworn he did the Anime Glasses thing as well, “then we at team Moderately Awesome Sengoku Ninja are happy to announce the launch of a DIY phone charger, made with the electricity from a fruit and the main functionality of a solar panel. and has more durability than samsung’s.”

there were Stars in your eyes now. with a big grin, you thank him, “i’d die for you, sasuke.”

“then perish.” he said with a blank look. (yukimura, in the bg: ???!!!??!??!?)

the next day he consentually breaks in through the ceiling and gives you the weird contraption. you’re now saved, soul-wise.

the memes start coming and they don’t stop coming from the two of you. in any situation. whether it’d be at a teahouse, or at a battlefield that can determine your life and death.

and you can have discussions about current world events, or the past ones, with him and he’d understand completely what you’re talking about. it’s those rare nights when you’ve been thinking and have a deep conversation with him in his room, and as an adult, it makes for interesting results as well.

the others are endlessly confused, but you’re both so unapologetically yourselves.

and he’s super protective if the circumstances are tough. he feels bad for dragging another person in the sengoku with him—much less when they’re so young like you.

if you’re enough of a lil shit, once you’re taken into kasugayama, in the nights where you can’t sleep because brain at what would be 3 am, you’d probably trudge over to his room and wake him up to tell him what kind of mind-blowing shit you realized.

—yukimura:

when he saved you from falling to your death, your reaction already set off weird Vibes inside him. what do you mean, “you stopped me from fleeing this fleeting world by the sweet embrace of death” ?!?!?! are you crazy?? yes

he doesn’t waste time getting blunt with you at all either.

once he goes into azuchi as a merchant, he silently observes you talking to sasuke for a bit. what’s with your weird language?? and crude humor???? never in his life has he met someone in your age act like that wtf

even so, he still operates on the basis of ‘‘if sasuke trusts you, i trust you’’, no matter how utterly concerned you make him feel

you have a dirtier mind than him! unsurprisingly. along with everyone else, you often tease the poor soul, a nd you’d gladly tell him what the innuendoes mean ( 69, etc.) and maybe sprinkle in some gay jokes in there

and why do you keep mentioning this “bromance between him and sasuke” ?? what us,,, a bromance????? and why is sasuke in it??

he takes you out to teahouses to eat chestnut dumplings and other desserts with you. you always seem to target the one he doesn’t like the most and have a bit of banter

your relationship is built on banter but what’s different rlly

he treats you much more maturely than other people your age. as in, he doesn’t pull back his punches in words most of the time. you don’t seem to around him also, it looks like.

and, he’s also very protective of you. he regards you as his little sibling, as rat as you may be. and he does care about you—he might just be a bit unwilling to say it

—yoshimoto:

you think he’s very chill, if a bit unique but who were you to judge. and he is, if you ever meet him in echigo or even azuchi

his big liking to art and something of apathy to people is osmething you can respect. there’s something about that kind of Vibe that you find oddly a mood.

and oh boy oh boy you wasted no time pulling up your phone and showing images of what art is in the future. whether it’d be a screenshot of anime, fanart, aesthetic-like ones, palette-themed—the whole shabang. 

and, somehow, you were left ranting to him  about how some artists in the future get it so shitty for theft, reposting, not crediting, the list goes on (please be a decent human being to artist, sincerely the author) and he can’t help but just listen in silence and kind of thinking about how you’re so passionate about the Struggles of artists. and it isn’t something he sees often in the sengoku era—where war rules most things.

and he does find art from the modern times interesting, how they’re so different and vast in styles. and not only that, it’s not like the future only has one major style like then, each hand can draw such different pictures and still have beauty in each. he appreciates and admires that.

and he does tell you his thoughts ^ while you give your own insight. it’s so fascinating to see someone like you having strong opinions on this.

because, well, rn art is a big thing in our lives as we’re stuck inside. a part of entertainment is looking at any media of art—and he finds his view of art and yours quite the same. you two came from a time of turmoil (one moreso than the other) but still think art isn’t exactly irrelevant just because it isn’t a cure to diseases or the Ultimate Weapon.

you had to Surgically Remove him from your phone so you can use it and to stop him from draining your battery looking at the art

and he often drags you out to town and admire pieces when you’re holing yourself in too much. your comments are always unknown to him, “radical”, “that’s one i can vibe with ngl”, and the list goes on.

and you occasionally call him pretty boy as a compliment rlly

—kennyo:

when you first saw him at honno-ji, and he won’t forget the one (1) line you gave him, all you said to his warning of ooo spooky demons was, “that’s lit fam gtg tho”

and that alone was enough to stun him for a few seconds

honestly you told the others of your meeting with kennyo before they told you it could be kennyo. just a throaway line of “oh yeah there was this dude with a scar across his face.” / “,,, ,....that’s kennyo. he’s really dangerous actually—” / “oh, poggers”

you’re probably kind of half the reason the oda forces found who dun it.

and it was an eye for an eye, kennyo himself found out that you were their child chatelaine, and very close to the others. as per his villain-schedule, he kidnaps you .

he laments about how “such a pure soul such as yours is not to be stained by the demon’s hands”

oh how Wrong he was.

you were the definition of the opposite of pure. and you seemed unfazed, which surprised kennyo but shrugged it off. he was willing to face you screaming and panicking, along with shouldering the sin of doing the deed. but instead, he was met with a raised eyebrow and, “this is unexpected and probably not welcomed but what am i doing here.”

he was stunned for a moment before explaining what he can. 

“......... fuck.”

he cringed ever so slightly at your curse. but your attention seems to stray so quickly off of the fact that you were bounded and helpless, to the fact that you have the man doing unspeakable things to civilians and you absolutely don’t approve.

throwing your common sense to maybe be civilized, you went off on a rant of how human rights and how to not be an ass to him. all he could do was just listened, shocked to even cut you off.

when he did, he gave the whole ‘unsaved demon’ shtick, and you weren’t taking that kinda shit. he believed he was truly unsaved—you knew that. but that doesn’t make it okay.

eventually, he left you with a cold end of the conversation.

he admires your spirit in a way—but with what he’s experienced,,, it’s a bit of unreachable for him.

if at any point you saw the soft side of his with animals, you just gaped at him for a split second and whispered, “the gap moe is strong with this one.”

also old man died inside when you said that you’d fight god, along with many things.

all in all, to him, you’re insufferable. but weirdly,, fascinating.

you’ve totally ok boomer’d him once cause he rlly looks old

—motonari:

,,. if your speech to kennyo was bad, he’s going to rant hell.

motonari already knew you were interesting even when his men just spied on you. your behavior, so brash and impulsive, is going to be so fun to have, he thinks.

through some planning to stir up more chaos, he kidnaps you and brings you unto his ship. same as kennyo, you showed no clear sign of surprise, and that’s when he decided you were either used to this in any way, or a fool. both answers, he liked.

you’re kind of really confused on why he’s doing what he’d doing. “i get it, i like to stir up chaos myself but it’s harmless,, most of it—but not until the people are in danger, bitch.”

and by that line, motonari leans towards you with a deadly smirk, “now, i can bite, ‘kay kid? you don’t wanna be in the receiving end... do you?”

“do it, coward.”

and before he could let out even a wheeze of laughter, you continued on on a lecture of, again, not being a dick and letting people live their life in peace. and much less all of this damage, for what? chaos?? yeah you wanted to see the world burn but it wasn’t literally.

however, his patience was running thin. he shuts you up forcefully, and leaves.

even so, after a cooldown period, he still talks to you (,,,, well, that’s kind of a generous term) because, right he was, you were so fun in his eyes.

an interesting observation he made,,, was that you picked up on his big dislike of physical contact. and he’d think with how annoying you were at times, that you’d weaponize it. but you didn’t—in fact, you kept your space (not that you were planning to get close) and respected his boundaries.

he thinks you a bit of peculiar for that decision, some wary, and perhaps naive.

one of the days—the more dangerous ones—he was planning to take you to the oda as bait or something. and you weren’t taking it like that. two days before arrival, a storm racked up. you stood upon the edge of the ship with the rest of the crew watching you like you were a madman.

“the oda won’t want me if i’m dead, would they now?”

motonari stands in his composure, guffawing, “all i need is to make sure they believe you’re alive, kid.”

a smile that showed absolutely no fear and 1000 percent spite spread in your face, “not unless i decimate my own body until all the trail left is my blood. the only one who gets to do that shit to me, is me.”

finally, a look of wavering shows in his face.

you were saved last minute,, and the rest is history.

[nightswithkookmin]

GOING ON A HIATUS

Thanks to everyone who's taken the time out to read my posts and has enjoyed it so far. It's really been fun and entertaining exchanging thoughts and having these much deeper ship discussions.

I thought this issue was gonna go away but I woke up this morning to more people messaging me about finding my last video analysis on several other platforms without appropriate credit.

But that's not disturbing. The disturbing part is the people sliding into people's DM'S on other platforms to get them to take down my video because they don't want people sharing my content on other platforms as they believe it would only make my blog popular.

For those worried about this whole credit business, thanks for showing this much concern for me? I really appreciate the love and concern if it's from a genuine place of concern. Thank you...

I think some of you already know this by now or might have figured it out, I am a law student, I am very much well aware what is and what isn't within my rights? Lol

I honestly didn't see this whole credit thingy as a big deal. It's not. Not to me. Lol. I repost people's photos without credit too all the time. Often, it's because I don't know who to credit and most time my lazy ass just forgets to. Lol. I think it's normal? It's inconsequential I mean.

The videos I use are usually often water marked by the appropriate owners so I don't go through the hustle of figuring this whole credit business out. If I should decide to come back here again I will check that habit of mine?

While this whole credit business is not a big deal to me, malicious slander and defamation to my character is and I don't take it lightly.

It has been brought to my attention that some Jikookers from Tumblr have since been sliding into people's DM's on other platforms asking them to take down my video and or remove the credit they give to my post.

They are telling people I am problematic, calling me the Taekook Lives of the Jikook community. That I have been spreading lies about Jikook, that the Jikook Tumblr community hates me or something like that and to further caricaturize me and make me appear more evil in order to get people to turn on me and hate me, they make up the most ridiculous lies about me claiming that I believe a notorious serial killer is innocent.

Now I have since deleted my YT account because I don't want my colleagues to find out I am into shipping too lol- shipping is a guilty pleasure of mine and I know how this fandom works unfortunately. I've been a silent part of it since 2014. I mean it's started already. The Doxing and shit.

The original post under which these replies are from couldn't save sadly as my account has been deleted but you can see from my notifications the general feel of what my interests outside shipping looks like.

I am interested in a myriad of topics, from literature, Aliens, writing, Harry Potter, history, activism, advocacy, philosophy, law, politics, NASA, and mystery and murder among other things.

My quora is mostly filled with notifications from my Book community and True crime community and often I do share my thoughts and answer questions with regards to the psychology of murderers, legal evidence, notorious villains in literature- well I guess now you know the kind of lawyer I want to be if and when I'm able to complete law school.

But what has my interest in these topics got to do with Jikook and shipping please?? How does this prove I hate Jikook and spread lies about them?

This Kookie Min Monsta person slipped into someone's DMS and asked the person who had put up my video analysis to take it down or discredit me because to her I am problematic. She is not the only one.

You want so bad to paint me black- no pun intended just to win an argument? You claim I am the evil malicious person here but I am not the one sliding into people's dms trying to take credit away from people for their hardwork, spreading hate and negative energy, making things up to manipulate people's perception of others and get them to hate and turn on them- and all because of A SHIP? Damn. This is pathetic.

Who died and made you the gatekeeper of the jikook shipping community? Honestly antics like these don't work on me try again.

I made a video commentary on my Booktube YT account- yes I am part of the book YouTube community as well sue me or better still slip into their inboxes and tell them I voted for Trump therefore I hate chipmunks.

The commentary I made on YT months ago was when I was in the highs of finding a new passion and it was on Ann Rule's book, The Stranger Besides Me- a true crime novel on Ted Bundy which I found so poorly written that at the end of the book it left with me wondering whether or not Ted Bundy was guilty at all!

The Author's writing style which deviates from most writing styles of True Crime novels I have read gave me trust issues as I stated in the video. It felt more as if she was writing a made up fictional novel than an actual True Crime novel but because she knew Ted Bundy in person she made it seem as if we just had to believe her account.

Then there was this whole thing about the police not being able to match the DNA samples taken from his rape victims, to his own Semen because his Semen was DNAless- in lay man's terms. I'll spare you the technicalities involved.

As I stated in that video, I do believe Ted Bundy was guilty but I do not have much faith in the Judicial system, or criminal procedures or even the Author of that book- a sentiment most people within the true crime community share as well. We just had differing views on whether the writer's style took away from the narrative and waters down on the extent of Bundy's guilt.

We had a Similar conversation about Chris Watt. If the community I was engaging in didn't have a problem with my commentary why do you? Please don't meddle in things you know nothing about. It's embarrassing.

The conversation about whether or not Ted Bundy is innocent is moot but a philosophical one. It has nothing to do with Ted Bundy's guilt but more so the criminal procedures involved in his case and the different accounts that exists surrounding his case.

He was electrocuted, he confessed to his crimes no damn person with brains would think or assume he is innocent and I never said anything of that nature drew any conclusions to that effect.

Besides, I moved on from Ted Bundy a long time ago. Now I am into the Serial Killer who writes death poems and signs it off with drawings of the size of his dick at his crime scenes- mind your own business please or don't and let's have an intellectual discourse about him? Lmho.

I am also into cat memes if you care to know and have a whole IG dedicated to cat memes. I believe human beings are the most dumbest species in all the galaxies and when the Aliens arrive I am snitching.

When my mind is at rest, I often wonder if Aliens have masculinity complex and if they do whether or not their masculinity is contingent on the size of their dicks or whether they have to engage in a battle to the death with an alien grizzly bear to determine who is the man.

I love BTS memes too- a little too much and often end up debating over the internet with random people over whether BTS memes are funnier than cat memes- I'm weird, true. But how does all of that make me a bad person?

It's crazy how these people can go on these other platforms to ask people to take down the credits to my posts as well as my posts itself but can't ask people who run to these other platforms with misinterpretations of my work to take those down.

Instead they come on here to call me out for people's interpretations of my work?? It doesn't work that way. You are the author of your own opinion and interpretation of other people's work. You don't call out the original author for someone's opinion of their work. If that were so I would be emailing Stephanie Meyer for Anna Todd and her After series. Get some education.

I have since blocked this person and others whose Tumblr I have been able to find thanks to all those that's helped me finding them on here.

My gf also tried reaching out to the persons who shared my post after we realised this was becoming an issue and had asked them to credit her or my blog- but honestly I don't care about that yet she won't give it a rest. Lol. My ride or die this one. Sigh.

However, we realized soon that this is not about 'stealing' credit- can't call someone out for not giving credit when I suck at that myself. Lol.

This is about people's malicious intentions and their attempts to silence me and take away my right to freedom of expression however way that they can. This is wrong and evil.

I honestly don't care for all these ship politics these people are engaged in. I've had enough intelligent conversations to know the distinction between arguments that flows from bruised egos and actual conversations around a subject matter.

This whole I am right, she is wrong politics... y'all get that the point of having an opinion is not to be right, right? We all cant have the same perspective and you can't call someone a liar for holding views that is different from yours. That is a bizarre mentality to have.

As I stated in my post, that content I made was a rebuttal to the Taekook theories running around on the internet alleging JK glared at Tae when he pulled on his shoulder because he was jealous Tae and Jin were having fun behind him. He wasn't. He was worried Tae was gonna expose him and JM holding hands behind Suga.

If you don't think they were holding hands then Taekookers were right and his reaction was because he was Jealous of Taejin I guess...

But thats your truth. That's not my truth. I don't believe Taekook is real. JK isn't jealous of Taejin he is not Twelve- but then again he was sneaking around behind Suga holding his boyfriend's hands so I guess he is twelve? Lol. Jikook!

Do you.

But please stop the evil malicious attacks and seek immediate help. There is such a thing as right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. Your Karma and chakra are in the negative nodes and you need to fix it. It is not funny anymore.

Thank you to everyone who has shown genuine concerns for me in the past few days and thank you so much for trying to stand up for me. There are good people on here and I have met and interacted with a lot of them and thank you so much for such a wonderful experience and insightful discussions.

I don't hate people because of our differences in thoughts, beliefs, opinions. There's always room for dissenting opinions in every sphere. At the very least, we can agree to disagree and shake on it. But You can't make up shit about people just to prove your opinion is right and their opinions and views which differ from yours are 'wrong.

I am not a victim though, and they are not bullies, psst. They are just vile pathetic human beings exposing the greens of their insides. What you do says more about who you are as a person and human being. And this is who they are.

Just be a nice decent human being. That's what this world needs. Fix whatever is broken inside of you and free your mind and spirit. Hate is never the answer.

I'm going to be away for a while because I have studies, work and other interests I want to pursue at the moment- it's just my AADD flaring up so if you see me henceforth raving about Nana at least you'd know why. Lol. She's wrecking my Jimin bias. Lmho.

Spread positivity, do the right thing, stand up for a good cause and keep supporting Jikook. Jikook is real.

Until we meet again.

Signed,

GOLDY

[acrispyapple]

why do you watermark official pics that aren't yours? i'm honestly shocked cybird hasn't had you banned for dcma laws + spoiling paid stories and epilogues, but you do you. you made it so i never have to pay money for any of the cybird games + mlqc. also i read why you aren't posting the sprites which is cool and all but you shouldn't be posting game elements either way. that's super shitty of you to do because spoiler THE ARTWORK ISN'T YOURSSSSSSS. the pic of victor on your twitter isnt yours 2

heya! i’ve already answered an ask like this recently and ignored the follow up ones because i don’t really wanna keep repeating myself. but since you’re very persistent and it’s still the same thing, here i go! putting under a cut because it’s long and has images – with stuff written on them! dun dun dunnnn (¯▿¯)

to start things, i’m the wrong person to accuse of being irresponsible with my posts because i’m very mindful of posting etiquette. have you not seen all my campaigns about not stealing from artists, from blogs, etc. i ask for permission for everything, even for random text i want to translate from someone’s post. even for cosplay i’ve seen other people freely post, i always go to the source and ask. i hope my answer clarifies things for you because i don’t really wanna have to repeat it again! (*^^*)♡

re: watermarks (complaint mostly about mlqc because i don’t really do it for cybird)

re: cybird

i’m not exactly a hidden secret blog, so i’m pretty sure cybird is well aware of me. plus, they’ve left comments on my blog in the past. sooo, there’s nothing shocking about it at all! maybe what’s shocking is you somehow expected cybird to not have noticed my blog all these years. do you actually know what the digital millennium copyright act covers? (dmca not dcma btw) as long as i know how to read and understand rules and i’m always within its boundaries, there’s nothing being violated. always post obstructed cgs / never full, snippets of 10 for screenies, never in consecutive order, etc. you should read the rules tbh, you seem unfamiliar with it. ☆

re: you never having to pay money for any cybird game

again, snippets = not full stories. everyone can post snippets. paid or not. that’s so weird that you feel you don’t need to pay for ~any cybird game~ anymore because of my blog. i haven’t been consistently posting paid content for so long. even ikesen epilogues. because i don’t have the time. and i’ve skipped posting a couple of events on my blog too. i don’t post ikerev / midcin consistently either. i’ve posted from two ikevam events in the past months with epilogue snippets. i guess you only played those? that’s hardly everything. nice attempt at creating an issue about me making cybird lose money tho! for someone who thinks i do dodgy things, you sure do like reading from my blog– if what you’re saying is true. but you seem to not know my blog content either. (⌒_⌒;)

i have another answer for this from an ask from 9 months ago:

re: not paying for mlqc

they allow posting everything from their game, i even verified with their team! but even i don’t have the time or post slot to post everything from it. i mostly post about victor soooo, i guess that’s everything you need to know about mlqc then? yay for you only needing victor! ♡

re: game elements

what?

anyway, moving forward to my twitter header:

it’s from this post i made, where i screenied scenes (and edited them a bit to look brighter and prettier) from the pv of the new chapters in the ch version.

now, i just put my username there as a marker and it was already covered in the first part of this ask. (how it helps me keep track of my posts, helps me when people are able to identify it’s from my blog and alert me of it being posted elsewhere, etc.) but i wanted to show it even clearer so you can finally let go of whatever it is you’re burning with. ( ˙▿˙ )

it just says acrispyapple on this screenie i took (that’s right, it’s just a screenshot lmao), it’s a random word or name. i made it small and inconspicuous so it wouldn’t distract from the image. the weibo watermark is bigger and clearer but i don’t use it– i can, but i don’t. when people see it, they know it’s official art and that’s it. there’s no “made by acrispyapple™©®”

(thanks for visiting my twitter btw! it doesn’t really have a lot of followers haha)

sooo, there’s weibo and its automatic watermarks (location can be changed).

“damn, all the users on weibo are claiming stuff as their own!!!! it’s not just a marker that a certain thing was posted from a certain blog!!! they’re claiming it as theirs even tho it’s clearly very easy to see that it’s one of many free-for-all official images!!!” (≧◡≦)

and i’ve seen people use the cards as banners for fanfics and other stuff, or even memes where they put random stuff on it like this:

but writing a random word on it, just because you know my blog is somehow a great sin? it’s not even acrispyapple.tumblr.com ✿

would it maybe make you feel better if it wasn’t just acrispyapple? i can use random words and it’ll still serve as a marker for me lmao

anyway anon, it pays to actually listen and read before you get mad and accuse. i’m not breaking any rules and i’m very much aware of what’s not allowed and what’s allowed. (^ ^*)♡

edit:

i kinda like it. (^◔ᴥ◔^)

side note: if you have a vendetta against me, you’re free to have one. but please don’t try to make stuff up just to yell at me. you can hate me quietly from afar or just avoid me altogether. or if you want to find a reason to yell at me, at least try to educate yourself about what you’re planning on yelling at me about. it’ll save me time trying to explain stuff! i also don’t like wasting my post slots for the day. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i would suggest looking at my actual content first, so your lack of knowledge of it doesn’t give you away. also, try asking yourself if you really think cybird’s en team would miss me after all these years and if you’re somehow the only enlightened one who can see all my ~misgivings~? are you aware of mlqc’s rules?

it’s funny because i’m not even close to covering everything for mlqc and there are blogs that cover far more than i do. i answer a lot of asks (i wish asks were paid content, as in i get paid to answer asks), but game content-wise, i’m faaaar from covering everyone. unless you really consider victor the whole game (♡). in which case i’m still missing his ch11 and ch19 screenies and one date. oh and the recent rumors&secrets! if you take a look at my posts, it’s mostly announcements, asks, fanart, general info, avatar posts, etc. i think you blindly went in with salt. ( ˙▿˙ )

i don’t really interact with people unless i have to talk about reposts and fanart-related stuff. i also just talk about games on my blog. so i don’t know what i could’ve done to merit your hatred. maybe you dislike that i ask for basic courtesy or that i enforce rules given to me by artists? i’m always polite tho. hmm, mystery-desu! ✩‧₊˚

[ryttu3k]

Things I’m enjoying about returning to Tumblr:

Friends! I have friends here! I’ve made some on other sites, yeah, but this feels like my community!

It feels less ‘themey’ than Instagram. Like I only post a few types of things on my Insta (art, bujo, Sims stuff), and I feel Weird if I get the urge to post anything else. Here? No theme, no patterns, just dopamine hits going off like popcorn. You want to post memes? Post memes. You want to stick snarky commentary in the tags? Go the fuck for it. Game liveblogs? Sure why not. Want to post art, or long essays, or posts on why you’re enjoying being on Tumblr? It’s free real estate babey.

Tags! I love tagging shit! Searching by tags? Good stuff. I feel I can’t put commentary in Pillowfort tags, they’re too important for sharing data. I can’t put fun tags on Insta, basically no one reads those. I like being able to do [proper tag] [proper tag] [shitpost commentary].

Much better shitposting. I missed Tumblr shitposting so much I was following shitpost repost accounts on Insta. I desperately wish I was making that up.

Excellent braindump resource. Look, I only rarely post to Pillowfort because it feels I need to be posting Proper Content, and get self-conscious if I just, well, treat it like Tumblr. I don’t like Twitter culture and Insta just doesn’t allow for it.

You can actually edit your goddamn posts.

Reblog chains. I can understand and respect why Pillowfort doesn’t do them, it makes you focus much more on the original content, but like. Look at this post. Look at the punchline that @fluffmugger delivers at the end. You just don’t get that elsewhere!

You do need xkit to do so properly, but I like seeing other people’s tags and replies. You can sort of do that on Insta and Twitter, but it’s a hot mess to navigate. Pillowfort does have comment threads, and I do really enjoy that, admittedly!

Customisation. Can’t really customise any of the other sites I’m on. Things like having sideblogs, changing your blog appearance completely (...although not too much, I’m still using Effector!), having pages where you can add whatever you want, it’s pretty good. It makes it feel more like your own place, whereas Insta and Twitter feel very impersonal, and Pillowfort is still fairly limited in that respect (although they do want to change it).

Automattic appears to be listening more to users than Yahoo or Verizon ever did.

Things I’m not enjoying about returning to Tumblr:

It’s still a blue hellsite.

But then, Instagram is a hellsite. Twitter is a hellsite. Pillowfort is not a hellsite but just isn’t very active. No dopamine popcorn :(

So yeah, assuming there are no more massive fuck-ups like The Great Censorship Debacle, I think I’m gonna stay.

[autorepliicant]

get  to  know  the  mun!             repost,  don’t  reblog.

———  BASICS  !  ♡

(PEN)NAME  :  Desi

PRONOUNS  :  she  /  her

ZODIAC  SIGN  :  Libra

TAKEN  OR  SINGLE  :  *Cries in alone*

———  THREE  FACTS  ! ♡

I’m active on Tumblr since I was around 13 or 14 years old. Back then I was roleplaying as a somewhat self insert / persona OC of mine; A blonde angel! I don’t know what was with me and angels back then, plus my horrible, HORRIBLE English back then that people had to endure! And I had some RP partners back then so it’s a miracle they didn’t complain about my grammar xD Then everything got to a weird turn when I was into the Creepypasta fandom and my weird obsession about Jeff the Killer still makes me cringe so hard QwQ 2012 I got into Marvel / the Loki Fandom and still roleplay as him on my other account and I still love this mischiefmaker to death! 

I’m a metalhead and I annoy every new person I meet with his very fact and I have a weird preference of creating goth/dark supernatural OC’s for some fandoms, but I try to get away from this concept on Tumblr because I know not everyone likes dark looking characters or the overall goth aesthetic, so I try my best being as neutral as possible when it comes to faceclaims and choosing singers or actors I like or having a pretty face in general, hehe. Though I have two goth OC’s I might give them their own blog. Let’s see

And for a rather shorter fact: I love the concept of the future technology and I’m a lot into space! Like the space we’re floating in, with planets and stuff, it’s scary but fascinating at the same time! ;D

———  EXPERIENCE  !  ♡

The DBH fandom in general is a bit odd, but in my one and a half years I never really met an intense asshole. I don’t like the shipping atmosphere mostly but I just avoid that and stay focused to my own ideas. I met a lot of wonderful people in the fandom who I had really awesome RP’s with, It’s kinda sad to see that the fandom is getting a little quit, so I hope there might be a similar game in the future or DBH 2 so we can get lit again xD I revived my blog for my android boys and i’m happy I can write with them again (Even if my friend is the only one interacting with them right now xD LOOKING AT YOU THEA I LOVE YOU! ) I still try to look for similar muses or direct DBH muses. As things for Marvel, I have seen worse days honestly. It’s mostly all about canceling people for their ships or not agreeing to the canon character in general, which kinda made it diificult for me / Loki to find someone for close interaction, as I have to mention I’m picky when it comes to writing style and portrayal. I had a share of bad experience myself, obsessive fans that forgot reality and believed my Loki being kinda real? But this was a long time ago but it kinda still is burned in my brain. There are still a handful of people I follow but I still need to talk to them more often ^^; 

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE  !  ♡

I prefer writing male characters and mostly prefer interacting with male muses, mostly, not ALWAYS with males I sure do like writing with females too. I don’t know why but writing a female kinda is a hard thing for me to do, even if I’m a female???? It kinda is complicated being in a female mindset and it’s much easier to be a man and analyze his psyche and behavior and probably making a version of a man I’d like to REALLY talk with? Though the behavior of my muses vary, one is a very kind, caring and gentle person who never gets angry, the other is a cynical misunderstood little shit who just wants to try to be a better person but has a hard time doing so, I love creating characters with different basic emotions and characteristic so I don’t write the ever same thing.  I add a lot of verses for this purpose too as I like to change the muse’s personality a little bit when they change into a new AU so I can experiment with alternative emotions and behavior too ;D  I have no issue of what kind of species my RP partner muse is or what species I will do mine, it’s always a mix of supernatural/fantasy, Cyberpunk or basic human muses.

———  FLUFF  /  ANGST  /  SMUT  !  ♡    

FLUFF  :  It’s basically the thing I prefer. I love building a mutual bond with my muse to my RP partner��s muse, to see what kind of path they will enter, platonic, romatic etc. I’m a hopeless romantic and find little gestures of attention to my muses absolutely adorable! But this doesn’t mean I will automatically ship with anyone, unless you’re a friend of mine. I like to keep things spontanous and if the chemistry feel right to me, I will approach you to ask if they want to have a potential ship as well or not ;D But Fluff and romance are topics I really ADORE to write, I kinda get into that emotionally as well when there is a romatic thread going on it’s incredible xD 

ANGST  :Angst needs to happen for me sometimes when things mix up with the romantic path, I don’t know why, I love writing or interacting with dramatical muses with a hard backstory and as soon as they find someone they trust and love, they will reveal any little detail of events they regret and can’t make right again, to finally be free of things they kept inside for so long, knowing they will expose everything to a person they love with tears in their eyes and hardly sobbing - while I might cry as well when I write or read angst xD 

SMUT  : It isn’t THAT necessary for me, but when Smut happens, I will always try my best not to make it sound nasty. I will avoid dirty words like Cock or Pussy because they don’t sound aesthecially pleasing to me when you write a scenario between two lovers. I sure get into details of the level of lust but that’s about it, I write a story between people that (might) love each other and MAKE LOVE with each other, not starring in some random porn video using naughty words xD But yeah, I like writing smut but it’s the least thing I care about during a ship honestly, but when it happens, I’m fully into it :D 

PLOT  /  MEMES  :Looking at things, I’m more a writer that prefers semi plotted things like, characters, setting etc. Mostly it’s enough for to get information and write a scenario, but sometimes Memes make it easier or harder when you can’t get an instant idea, but that’s a challenge I like being a hobby writer, to let your imagination grow ;D People I don’t interact with always have permission to send me an ask I happily answer or write small RP’s with, but I prefer multi paragraphs with a setting we both agreed with and the rest of the RP plotting is kept spontanous mostly, but I will always come to help when a partner struggles with a certain scene and decide to make a little skip perhaps :D So I don’t mind both honestly but my preference surely goes to Plots Tagged by: @undeadunalive​ ILU You know that? <33 Thanky you so much!  Tagging: @oblivionlotus​ and other people on my Loki blog when I reblogged this one over

[vulpesse-arc]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

tagged by:   stolen :) tagging:    @scendant​ , @verumking​ , @sunszenith​ , @blackedsun​ , @saigeonmain​ , @quartlet​ , @shadowhelmed​ , @hotman​ , @devilglow​ , @drivenchaos​ , @re-no​ , @ladyfortunes​ , @cchilyoja​ , @quartlet​ , @deathboundinautumn​ , @ioniacriminal​ , anyone else who might like to do this :)

MY MUSE IS:   canon / oc / au / slightly canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated.

IS YOUR CHARACTER POPULAR IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO. [ She is mayhap one of the most famous characters in the entire franchise as well as one of the oldest and who has suffered the most because of the fandom’s misconceptions. ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED HOT™ IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ Once more, yes, she’s definitely seen as one of the hottest characters in the game. I suppose that this has both good sides and bad sides? Especially when you encounter people who refuse to see past her physique. ]

IS YOUR CHARACTER CONSIDERED STRONG IN THE FANDOM?   YES / NO / IDK. [ Ahri might not be the strongest character in the fandom but she’s certainly not weak either. What she cannot accomplish with mere physical strength alone, she can accomplish thanks to her charming abilities so she’s definitely a strong and dangerous opponent to face. ]

ARE THEY UNDERRATED?   YES / NO / IDK. [ Yes and no at the same time? People love and hate her in equal measure but, after writing as her for so many years, I have also come to realize that few are the ones who actually pay attention to her lore and to her depth as a character. I’d say that her fame has made people blind towards who she really is and this is very sad. ]

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN STORY?   YES / NO, she’s more on the neutral side.

WERE THEY RELEVANT FOR THE MAIN CHARACTER?    YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ LOL doesn’t really have a main character or someone who’s inherently more important than others: everyone is the main character of their own specific story. This is why she is relevant to those who encounter her and those who have come to become part of her tale ; for the rest of the world, however, she’s nothing more than a vulpine vastaya with a pretty face. ]

ARE THEY WIDELY KNOWN IN THEIR WORLD?   YES / NO. [ Ahri is well known in Ionia due to her past as a vicious man-eater. However, such tales and legends belong to ages long passed and no one would be capable of discerning her true identity by simply looking at her ; this is why even fellow vastayas and ionians are usually unaware of her relation to the beast that devoured entire villages. As far as the whole world is concerned, no, she’s definitely not known by the majority. ]

HOW’S THEIR REPUTATION?   GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ I’d say that her reputation is definitely bad. As previously mentioned, she carved her name in the legends of Ionia with her undying hunger and through the unfair massacre of many innocent souls ; although such legends do not carry her name, you can still find visual depictions of the vixen who spread chaos and havoc through the holy lands. In the present days, she is still considered as someone who should not be trusted: rumors about what she is capable of have spread and only fools are willing to consciously approach someone who might easily dine on their souls and hearts. ]

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?   —   I began writing as Ahri many years ago, which means that her lore has been twisted and modified quite some times from the very beginning. Although I do follow her present canon and I do adore every little detail that has been shared in pursuance of giving her more depth, I cannot really leave behind everything that I have developed in the past years. An easy example is the fact that my Ahri is still loosely based on the Korean myth of the “Gumiho”, which is a detail that plays an extremely important part in my portrayal: Ahri is, in fact, more beast than woman, is someone whose morals will always linger in the darkest shades of gray, is someone who adores violence and who has yet to properly harbor any type of guilt for everything that she has done thus far ; another detail is the fact that she devours souls as much as she can indulge in the flavor of hearts and livers as well. So, I would say that my Ahri is canon but with her own little twists?

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.   —   Ahri is an incredibly complex creature, someone whose very existence is quite paradoxical for she represents both death and the maiden at the same exact time. She can be cruel and heartless as much as she can be gentle and dulcet, she is always greedy for knowledge and there is nothing that she adores as much as listening to someone’s stories or learning new facts about a world that is still oh so foreign to her. She’s beautiful, elegant, has the fluffiest tails you will ever see and she’s definitely the best cuddle buddy! Despite her murderous nature, there is something oddly soothing about her company that will naturally lure you closer. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).   —  Ahri is not a good person, not even a good animal. She’s incredibly instinctive and easily becomes victim to her own whims and desires and feelings: if she decides that she wants something, she will not stop in front of anything in pursuance of quenching her thirst. Because of this, she’s a huge liar, she’s manipulative and sly and dishonest, she knows the weaknesses of those around her and does not hesitate to exploit them in pursuance of elevating herself to a higher plane. She’s not easy to deal with because she will rarely say the truth and will rarely allow others to come close to her ; it doesn’t matter who the other person is, her first instinct will always be that of hunting them.

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?   —   I was asked to write as this muse many years ago by a friend of mine. I didn’t even like her at first... I thought that she was nothing more than some easy fanservice for the game but I am so glad that I changed my mind because she has ultimately become my favorite muse and someone I always come back to, no matter how many years have passed. 

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING?   —   Poetry is perhaps my strongest inspiration when it comes to Ahri! Poetry and visuals of idyllic landscapes, of flowers in bloom, of porcelain marred by blood. Music might sometimes help too (for example I do tend to listen to the OST of “Memoirs of a Geisha” whilst writing replies) but I’d say that poetry is indeed my strongest inspiration, it’s the one thing that makes me think of other aspects of her and that continues to fuel my motivation to be here.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

DO YOU THINK YOU GIVE YOUR CHARACTER JUSTICE?   YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ I’m extremely hesitant and nervous about my portrayal, so... I do hope that the people I write with might eventually begin to enjoy my portrayal of Ahri. ]

DO YOU FREQUENTLY WRITE HEADCANONS?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ I think of headcanons very often but I must say that I haven’t posted too much on this blog lately. Some of them got stolen, others got ignored and... That lowkey killed my motivation to openly post the ideas I have about my muse. This is however something that I plan on changing soon! ]

DO YOU SOMETIMES WRITE DRABBLES?   YES / NO [ It depends on my inspiration or on the prompt I am given. ]

DO YOU THINK A LOT ABOUT YOUR MUSE DURING THE DAY?   YES / NO

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR PORTRAYAL?   YES / NO / SORT OF? [ Not really... I love my Ahri, I love the headcanons that I have developed for her and I adore the interactions that she has had during this time, but... I’m always scared of people’s bad judgement, of being seen as uninteresting or as not talented enough to portray such a complex character. ]

ARE YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR WRITING?   YES / NO / A LITTLE BIT. [ I believe that I can still improve, especially considering that my writing style is constantly changing. But I am not too sad about it! ]

ARE YOU A SENSITIVE PERSON?   YES / NO. / SORTA.

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?   —   As long as the criticism comes with the intent of helping me to improve my portrayal, then yes, I do accept it well because it would allow me to look at things from a different point of view and thus help me to realize in which fields I am currently lacking. Due to the fact that the LOL characters can be quite ‘loose’ when it comes to their canons (especially in the case of those who weren’t given much material to work with in the first place), I do believe that everyone can take quite a large amount of creative freedom when portraying them ; however, I do realize that some of my headcanons might sound weird to someone else and I have absolutely nothing against explaining my side of things, the reasons that have motivated me to make Ahri behave in a certain way instead of another. Criticism is always good, as long as it’s not accompanied by free hatred. 

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU TO EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?   —  Absolutely yes! I love it when people come and ask for more information about Ahri or when I receive really curious anons about the most mundane aspects of her life.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?   —  Why not? I might not drop the headcanon since I’m still certain that I am the person who knows my muse the most but I’m not against discussing things with another person, especially if our points of view are really that different. 

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT?   —  I admit that I’d be sad over it since I’m well aware of how much passion and effort I am constantly pouring in my portrayal. However, that wouldn’t be the end of the world! There are so many beautiful Ahris out there who have taken a different path from me and thus developed their muses in a different manner, so I’d just suggest to the person to try and interact with them instead. 

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?   —  Ah, you would be surprised to know how many people hate Ahri in the fandom! What saddens me is the fact that such hatred usually stems from really useless and dumb reasons, such as her being more famous than another champion or her receiving more skins than their fave... Even in the roleplay community, I sometimes encountered people who hated her simply because she was “too famous” and that really annoyed me because it’s groundless bashing with no roots to support it. However, I can understand why someone might dislike a character who’s so manipulative and dishonest! Obviously, I wish that people saw more than just this one side of her, but... We can’t have everything in life, sadly.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS?   —   Of course, as long as the person is not rude about it! I am Italian so English is my second language and grammatical errors can and will indeed happen. 

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?   —  I think I am easy going although I am incredibly shy and this... This is a huge problem when it comes to interacting with others since it might take me a while to respond to messages and open up to someone else. This is a side of myself that I truly wish to change and I’m working really hard on abandoning my comfort zone, but... It takes time, a lot of time. However! Despite my shyness, I can assure you that I’m the softest person you will ever meet and that if you manage to make me feel comfy around you, I will not stop speaking about Ahri and about music and about videogames and anything else that we might have in common! Once I do grow close to someone, I love to talk and meme and share things and... I think I also become slightly clingy? But I always mean good, I swear... I’m just a shy bun who wants to have fun and love you :(

[mcnypieces]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme

fill out & repost ♥  This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless /

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( They’re missing out )

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK ( It’s subjective )

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO? ( This is... also subjective. )

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL

How strictly do you follow canon?

     As closely as possible, considering there’s not very much to work with in regards to his canon to begin with. There’s a lot of freedom in picking up any kind of minor canon character. I look mainly to expand on what little is present. I adore fleshing out even the smallest ideas so having something I can comfortably build on is great.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.

     Pica is loyal, beyond anything. Strong, well-built, and never wavering. Regardless of the situation, he is always on task, diligent to the last moment and perhaps longer. Devotion and collected functionality make a grand guardian. Always acts as a pillar; a collected foundation of a man centered around dedicated familial values. Being in contact with stone makes him nigh invincible, granting him not only the protective assimilation but the literal stature and appearance of a stone goliath given enough material. Strategic with respectable swordsmanship, constantly protective of what’s important. He’s nice on the eyes, quiet, and a good listener. There’s order and beauty laced within all that cataclysmic chaos just waiting to be found. 

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).

     Distant, stoic, absolutely terrible with expression that isn’t hateful and violent. Pica is very strict, lacking a sense of humor. His voice is extremely disruptive. The smallest remarks set his short fuse alight and it burns on and on until there’s nothing left. That murderous intent settles for very few things, and getting him to open up is a long, grueling process. He’s self-conscious but in an overbearingly cocky way, in that pride often masks everything genuine. He thinks very highly of himself and looks down on other people constantly. He’s uncooperative, constantly wrapped up in solemn business, and heavily against indirect methods. Abrasiveness is a weapon and he uses it without remorse. Stubbornness and general unwillingness to speak with strangers make attempting to converse with him the equivalent of talking to a wall. Pica is impatience, wrath, and apathy tied together with coarse cobblestone.

What inspired you to rp your muse?

     As odd as it sounds, I found certain parts of Pica relatable in very specific, personal ways. People never took me seriously when I was upset because I was so small ( sometimes they still don’t dskdsks- ). For awhile when I was younger my voice was really deep and hoarse due to adenoid issues. Speaking in general was hard, because breathing was hard. It made me sound very masculine, especially over any kind of voice-only system. Normally adenoids aren’t an issue at that point because they’re vestigial and tend to essentially be shrunk down to nothing. But something ( probably fighting off infections and never shrinking/bad allergies, nobody knows ) blew mine up and they were blocking 3/4ths of my airway for ages without anyone having any idea what was going on until it got bad enough to the point it was obvious something was wrong. I couldn’t have any stuffed animals in my room because it was legitimately dangerous and a lot of my non hypoallergenic stuff had plastic covers on it. Made me really sad. Eventually they were surgically removed, and it cleared up my breathing and in time my voice was relatively normal. Before then, nothing felt worse to me then than struggling to breathe trying to defend myself in tandem with all the emotional stress it brought on me. 

     I was always quiet and distant otherwise, and a lot of people thought I was just weird and unapproachable ( unless you wanted a laugh, anyway ). There were days before I made my small group of good friends I’d just spend sitting under the stairwell up against a wall eating lunch by myself. I’m probably one of the few people that listened to Pica talk for the first time and didn’t immediately burst into laughter. I didn’t completely click with him at that point, but watching that one little thing turn into a running gag constantly coming back to undermine everything else that was amazing about him really set my feelings in stone... pun completely intended. I’ve loved him ever since. That inspiration and adoration has only grown with time.

What keeps your inspiration going?

     Quite a few things. Aside from the constant love pouring from my being, I love looking at highly detailed stonework. It’s beautiful. Scrolling through rolling mountain landscapes, listening to certain songs, daydreaming in between sentences. I never really lose inspiration for Pica. Something new hits me every day in the most mundane tasks. A lot of it does go unshared, but some of it is personal and other times I simply don’t have the energy or reason. Very well I could be brimming with inspiration for him all day and have nowhere really to put it without excess. Getting opportunities to do so really makes me smile, though. It’s amazing how much being invested in a character will keep your inspiration at an all time high even when you’re having a rough time. Sometimes all it takes is just an extra comment from someone else or an occurrence or some kind of image to put you right back on track. For me, seeing any kind of lovely stonework or abandoned, run down places really sets my inspiration for him in motion.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( I would hope so! )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO ( I’m always thinking of new ones! )

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO ( It’s been awhile, though... )

Do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES!! / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( Generally speaking, I try to be! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?

     Actual criticism, yes. I don’t mind it. At the same time, however, I’m really just here to have a good time ─ as is everybody else. Growing and developing my writing is always a bonus when I’ve the experience here in an environment I’m comfortable with, but critique isn’t exactly something I go hunting for. I’m here to write the characters I love and adore and honestly, sometimes, it’s better to have the freedom to do things as you wish without the worry of receiving it, no matter how well-intended it may be. It’s all chill times and good vibes doing what we enjoy most.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?

     Absolutely! I love randomly being sent things that keep me thinking with any character. I’m always looking for little intricacies and tidbits to really bring them to life. Sometimes it takes a bit for me to think of something appropriate but I always appreciate the brain candy when it comes to new details! It goes without saying that I’ll happily accept anything that gives reason to my constant, aimless musings related to Pica.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?

     Yes and no? I always love hearing other ideas on why someone else’s headcanons differ from my own. For all I know it might be enough to change my mind or, at the very least, give me a different perspective on something I’ve never thought about before. I’m always curious about stuff when it relates to a character I love. As long as they’re not rude about it and we’ve talked to the point it’s not out of the blue, it’s okay. On the other hand, it doesn’t really matter if someone disagrees. We all have our own headcanons and it’s very easy to be respectful about them. Despite what has already been said, there’s a high chance I’m going to keep to my own headcanons as they are regardless, because I put a lot of thought and heart into them. Someone disagreeing with them at face value isn’t going to make me up and throw all that work in the trash just like that.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?

     That’s okay. There are plenty of different ways to interpret a character. People are allowed to like and dislike whatever portrayal they so choose, so long as they’re not bashing anyone outright. I would much prefer that be something that’s kept to oneself, however. It’s very easy to simply ignore something you don’t agree with, and it’s just as easy to be kind about things when expressing your own thoughts in comparison with theirs. Plus, there’s always making your own blog and writing whoever however you please! Someone out there is bound to enjoy whatever portrayal you prefer. ♥

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?

     Not personal, certainly, unless it was somehow directed at me personally. It’s very understandable. There’s a lot of potential present for actual progressing development, but on the surface Pica is very dislike-able. It’s very clear his purpose was to act as a stepping stone for another major character’s development and there wasn’t much left beyond that. Of course it’s always a sad thing being hopelessly attached to a character like that but as an avid lover of what are often viewed as very minor, niche characters, it’s something I’m very much used to. Perhaps not intense hate in every case, per se, but underappreciated. It just so happens that Pica is... not exactly a good person, putting it kindly. But that’s just another reason I love him so much as a character.

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?

     Sure! Though chances are I’ve probably already noticed at that point and have been embarrassed about it/fixed it. I’ve probably made many over the years and also not realized it. Most of the time it’s something minor anyway, and a lot of people just naturally read it as it’s supposed to be read. So there’s no trouble!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?

     I’d certainly like to think so! I tend to be very patient and accommodating. I wholeheartedly stand beside the idea that RPing is meant to be fun and enjoyable and not something that causes more stress. People should take their time with things and set their own pace. Being comfortable is part of what makes RP the wonderful hobby that it is. Really that applies to any hobby, but there are many little things that can turn someone away from doing something they love at any given time. There’s nothing that would hurt me more than unintentionally making something someone enjoys a chore for them. I try my best to make sure everyone knows that I’m really just a chill little bun having a good time doting on characters I love. Pica might not be cordial, but I certainly try to be!

That’s about it, congrats for filling out!

     🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

tagged by. @tenyxshx ─ thank you flamingo nerd ♥ ilu

[citialiin]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes.  tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom?  YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character?  YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies.  that too.  but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him.  so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms.  theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi.  and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ?  but that’s dumb and confusing.  i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting?  a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us?  i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is.  i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways.   i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?).  hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism.  he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves.  he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !!  Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else.  his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong.  i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom.  maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim.  im not very sure tbh.  

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music.  i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life.  this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas.  shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year.  ziggy became my hobby but also my homework.  he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc.  ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ...   cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different.  and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human.  the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way.  obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO  [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO 

Are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person?  YES  / NO. / IDK ? 

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  definitely!  like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better.  had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory?  and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows?  had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better.  if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment.  my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem.  ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine!  i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that.  i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself.  im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

[romanova-natalia]

the greatest sacrifice

requested: no

pairing: steve rogers x reader, tony stark x reader (platonic!tony)

summary: ENDGAME SPOILERS! you and steve live what is essentially the domestic life after the snap until the time heist is proposed. you and steve are tasked to retrieve the soulstone together, but neither of you knows the horrors that await in vormir. or the sacrifices that must be made for the greater good.

a/n: yes, this is a female reader sorry but most of my fics are going to be female readers, honestly. second, killing off a character is honestly hard, like you get so into their thoughts and emotions that when you kill them it’s like ‘ow man, that’s my friend’. this is also a repost from my other account, so if you think you saw this exact fic a few weeks ago: you probably did ! i just moved my marvel fics over to this account.

warnings: is it suicide? it’s self-sacrifice, leave it at that. mentions of the word suicide. endgame spoilers, mentions of gore, death, character death. and implied smut however it’s not written out, just mentioned. you’ve been warned, read at your own risk.

word count: 5.3k, i spent weeks on this so

      Truth be told, no one had been the same since half of the universe’s population turned to dust. The Avengers were practically no more, the world was descending into chaos, and you only blamed yourself. You blamed yourself for not stopping Thanos, for failing at your mission to protect people. You felt at fault for the deaths of countless amounts of people and creatures spread out across the universe. Perhaps you were wrong to feel this way, perhaps you were blaming yourself for something in which everyone was at fault. But that didn’t stop you, and for four years you lived in nothing but self-hatred over the mere fact that you couldn’t blame anyone but yourself for the deaths that were faced. For the pain brought across the universe, for the families separated and the people who were confused about what happened.

      "You have got to stop thinking about it, (Y/N).“ You heard that a lot, and it was mostly from your best friend Steve. You sent a glance in his direction, raising your head from Natasha’s shoulder as you stood from the arm of the chair to meet him. He knew what was coming, as he automatically opened his arm for the impending embrace that you would pull him into. "I missed you.” You muttered into his chest, “I was only gone for a few hours.” Steve said with a small laugh. As you pulled away from the hug he raised an eyebrow at your outfit, “Is that… are you wearing Natasha’s shirt and my jacket?” He questioned, beginning to search your appearance more for any other “borrowed” articles of clothing. “I am, these are Tony’s shoes too. They’re a little big but they make me feel rich.” You said with a shrug as you sat down on the couch near the corner. Steve joining you and wrapping an arm around your shoulders, which prompted Natasha to take her queue to leave.

      See, you and Steve lived like you were a domestic couple, but you weren’t. Neither of you had confessed that you loved each other, but it was almost as though you didn’t need to. You cuddled each other, kissed a few times and practically acted like you were married. Of course, you had said you loved each other, but it had never been with that sort of romantic connotation. “Steve?” You questioned, your head rested against his shoulder. “Hmm.” He hummed in response. “H- No that sounds weird… I’m gonna say it anyway. How do you define our relationship?” you questioned, your head not leaving his shoulder until he turned to look at you. “How do you want to define our relationship?” He questioned, the flirtatious tone was prominent in his voice. “I-” You were interrupted, all too soon for your liking.

      "Steve, (Y/N), you need to see this,“ Natasha said, what seemed to be concern and, maybe a bit of fear present in her eyes. You and Steve quickly got up, following Natasha to one of the screens that showed the camera at the front entrance. "That- That’s Scott.” You muttered, not really the best words you could have used since it was obvious that Scott was the person on that camera. He even identified himself as “Ant-Man”. But Scott Lang was believed to be dead, you had mourned for your fallen friends only to find him right in front of you again. Man, is that how Thor felt all those times Loki faked his own death?

      Despite yourselves, the three of you allowed Scott into the compound, rushing to greet him at the entrance. “Scott!” You said, rather enthusiastically as you ran towards your long lost friend, pulling him into a tight hug. Scott was quick to hug back, honestly, it just seemed like he was relieved to see a familiar face. God only knows what kind of story he had to tell, as far as any of you knew he was one of the victims of The Snap. As you lead Scott to wear you and Steve had been before, you watched as he looked around frantically before he began explaining where he was, and how long he had been there. Of course, the quantum realm stuff really didn’t show you that much, you knew he was involved with that type of thing, you ended up riding with him in the back of the van to Berlin, he told you quite a bit. What surprised you was the fact that to him the past five years of your life went by in an instant, that to him he wasn’t around during the chaotic transformation of the earth. But you had no idea what he was trying to get at with his words; until it clicked that he was recommending that you try time travel.

      While the idea seemed like it was impossible, the way that he was explaining it made it seem like it was possible. “So we go through with this idea. How are we ever going to find a way to do it?” You questioned, but you knew what the answer was going to be. Which is how you ended up sitting in the backseat of a car with Scott. Natasha and Steve sat in the front, as you glanced out of the window before bringing your attention back to the other people in the car. “What if Tony doesn’t want to help us?” You asked them, you knew it was probably running through the mind of everyone but Scott. “We just hope that he does, I guess,” Natasha said. “Why wouldn’t he want to?” Scott questioned, it had slipped your mind that he probably had no idea about the family, he probably didn’t even know about the wedding. “Tony has a family now, he might not want to risk losing that.” You explained, which seemed to surprise Scott but he knew how much time had passed, so there was a bit of understanding. “Oh,” Scott said, a simple response.

      The drive to Tony’s home wasn’t really that long, it couldn’t have been any more than three hours in the car. You had spent most of it sleeping, truth be told if you thought that the world going back to normal was in any way possible you wouldn’t have slept on the road trip. But you didn’t, you thought that there was no changing what had happened. As you pulled into the driveway you started feeling anxious, you had no idea how Tony was going to react to what was about to be proposed to him. You were the first out of the car, and the first to walk up the porch. Truly, you were the one who had been most silent about your feelings so seeing people that you hadn’t seen in a while was something that you were more than excited about. So you were quick to pull Tony into a tight hug, Tony who easily reciprocated but couldn’t help but laugh at how eager you were to see an old friend. You had visited Tony a few times, but you spent most of the time at the Avengers compound or taking the time to go and get a report on Thor from Valkyrie.

      "See, someone missed me,“ Tony said, more jokingly than anything as he pulled back from the hug, causing you to laugh a bit. "Of course I did.” You muttered, causing him to laugh a bit as well, but quietly gave you an “I missed you too”. However, you knew the light moment wouldn’t last forever, as you all made your way to Tony’s porch and began to explain to him the situation. You tuned it out because you knew what his answer was going to be, you knew he was going to say no because just about anyone that spoke to Tony after the incident knew that he was traumatized. “What about you, you haven’t said anything (Y/N).” Tony said, causing everyone’s attention to you. But you didn’t know what to say. “I… I want to get back the people we lost, but I didn’t really think you were going to say yes when we came here in the first place.” You admitted, feeling the gaze of disappointment from Scott you turned your attention to him. “I’m sorry, Scott. I want to do this, you know I do.” You said, more of as a mumble than anything.

      Sooner than later, you all returned to the call before deciding you would visit with Bruce or… Hulk… whatever he was going by now. You were sat on the same side of the booth as Natasha and Steve, smushed between Steve and the window but you didn’t really mind. Truth be told, you hadn’t spoken much to Bruce since he decided to combine himself with the Hulk. You just didn’t really feel normal seeing him or speaking to him with him not being the person that you remember being friends with all those years ago. Plus, the poor guy had turned into a bit of a meme after most of the people who made them were victims of Thanos. Which is why it didn’t surprise you when kids came over asking him for a photo and being rude to Scott. You raised an eyebrow before sending a look to Scott, “I’d take a picture with you.” You muttered reassuringly before he rolled his eyes, “You have to say that, you’re my friend.” He said sarcastically, however, he was clearly fighting a smile. You could feel Steve looking at you, you turned to look at him, the amusement clear in his eyes. “Would you take a picture with me?” He asked, before you shook your head. “I have taken pictures with you, dipshit.” You muttered. Before watching the kids walk away which meant that it was back to business.

      The next day you all would begin experimenting, but for the time being you all headed back to the base and allowed Bruce to figure out how he was going to make the van work, and how he was going to get it back from storage. You were sat on the couch again, however this time you didn’t have that certain feeling of self-blame and hopelessness as you flipped to an old episode of The Office on the television, this time you felt like there was a chance that you were going to be able to fix what happened. You felt the couch go down a bit beside you and looked over to be faced with Steve. “Hey.” He said, and you could tell something in his demeanor had changed too. It was obvious, everyone was in a better mood now that they felt like there was a way for an order to be restored to the world. “Hey.” You replied, a smile present on your face as you set the remote down beside you.

      "Sure you don’t want to get some sleep, tomorrow could be a busy day,“ Steve said to you, his eyes locked with yours. "It could, yeah. But it’s like Christmas Eve, I don’t want to be tired or oversleep the next day, but I can’t sleep when I’m so eager.” You replied. Your attention lost on the television as you looked at Steve. “And… I think there’s a part of me that’s afraid.” His eyebrows furrowed, “Of what?” He questioned, his now completely full attention on you. “I don’t know, I just don’t think it’s going to be as easy as going back and getting the stones, Steve. It can’t be that easy, there has to be something… something that makes it difficult.” You explained, and he seemed to understand what you were saying. His hand quickly found yours, and you responded easily, intertwining your fingers with his. “Whatever happens, we’ll do it together. Okay?” He asked, and you nodded. “We will, always.” He nodded before a line from the show caught your attention and caused you to snort. You decided to just pay attention to the television, your head rested on Steve’s shoulder, one of his arms wrapped around your waist and the other hand holding yours, somewhat reassuringly but mostly absentmindedly. You fell asleep shortly after, and Steve didn’t want to wake you so in waiting for you to wake up, he fell asleep as well. It was Natasha who came in hours later and found you essentially laying on top of Steve and turned off the television and light. She also grabbed a pillow and blanket and placed the pillow under Steve’s head and the blanket on top of you.

      When you woke the next morning, you noticed that someone moving below you was what caused you to wake up. Your eyes quickly opened to find Steve also waking up, and seemingly being just as confused as you were before remembering what happened. “Morning.” You muttered, not even wanting to know how bad you looked, and judging by Steve’s frazzled hair you probably weren’t looking too good. “Morning.” You said in response. You slowly started to get up, not really knowing how you were supposed to climb off of him on the small couch. “We don’t have to get up its sunrise-” He started before you raised an eyebrow. “Steve we’re not even in a bed, do you really wanna lay on the couch all morning?” You questioned, about halfway through the process before he sighed in defeat and allowed you to stand, following suit. “I’ll see you in a little bit.” You told him, before wandering back to your room to get showered and dressed for the day.

      The beginning of the day was slow, between you being so nervous and shaky that you almost fell down in the shower, and you dropping a pan of scrambled eggs on the floor, it was also a mess. you had opted to wear a pair of black jeans, because black looks good with everything, a black t-shirt, that Tony was quick to point out was his and had no idea how you even had it, and a pair of black boots, because your only other shoes were blue and wouldn’t have matched. However, the slow morning had turned into an eventful day since not only had you figured out time travel, in some capacity, but Tony had come and decided he wanted to help after all, which was, of course, going to lead to spending a day and a half figuring out time travel and the plan before executing it.

      That night, you were back on the couch again. However, unlike the previous night, you weren’t just accompanied by Steve, but also Natasha and Tony. Bruce had gone off with Rocket to get Thor, so he wasn’t going to be there for the night. You were sat in between Steve and Tony, Natasha was fast asleep on her favorite chair, and you were watching one of Tony’s favorite movies. “How’s my shirt.” teased Tony, causing you to let out a groan. “For God’s sake, I didn’t know it was yours okay.” You said, exasperation clear in your voice causing him to chuckle. It’s fine, you look good in it.“ He said, before continuing to pay attention to the television. Your eyes wandered to Steve, who also seemed rather entranced in the movie but broke his attention to it to look back at you. You wanted to ask him if he’d let you stay in his room for the night, because you really didn’t want to be alone, but you knew that Tony would either tease you relentlessly about it or, if Steve said no, would offer to let you stay with him since ever since he had Morgan he had really took it upon himself to treat most women in his life like his daughter, which you didn’t really mind. And you wouldn’t really mind the offer to sleep there, since you really did want the company, but you also wanted to spend time with Steve.

      Once the movie was over, Tony went to bed, and Natasha had woken up from his footsteps and followed suit. Leaving you with Steve. "You seemed to have something on your mind, what was it?” He asked you, clearly referring to how strange you had been acting for the last few hours. “I don’t… uh… want to sleep alone can I stay in your room?” You asked him, clearly nervous. “If-If not Tony or Natasha will probably let me-” Steve cut you off, “Yes, you can stay in my room.” He said, before turning off the television and light and leading you to his room. You followed Steve and sat down on the bed, and he handed you one of his button downs so you wouldn’t have to sleep in your own clothing. He went to undress in his bathroom and you put his shirt on and neatly folded your discarded clothes, placing them on a dresser and going to sit on the bed with him. As he turned the light off and joined you in the bed, it wasn’t awkward like either of you had expected it to be. You laid apart for a little while before you rested your head on his chest, and he quickly wrapped his arms around you. It seemed like both of you were comforted by not being alone.

      "We’ll be okay, we all will.“ Steve said, but he didn’t really seem like he believed it. No one was positive that everything was going to turn out, you didn’t even have a plan yet about what you wanted to do in order to get the stones besides going back in time. "I hope so.” You said, before falling asleep with him. The next morning was the day that truthfully no one was prepared for. You got up, putting on your black jeans, shoes and shirt from yesterday. You knew Steve wouldn’t be awake for a little bit but you wanted to make sure that you got some spare clothes to change into. Which is how you ended up barging into Tony’s room at four in the morning. “(Y/N)? What are you… Do you need something?” He questioned, “Yeah, taking another shirt.” You said before grabbing the one you remembered him wearing when you first met, the Black Sabbath shirt. “Really? That’s why you’re in my room at four in the morning? I could sleep naked-” “I can’t see your body, Tony, you’re wearing blankets.” You said, before walking back to the door. “Thank you, goodnight.” You said before you snuck back into the room with Steve, or tried to, he was awake. “Where-” “I robbed Tony.” You muttered, “Wanna go back to sleep?” You asked him, taking your shoes off before he shook his head. “No… If this does go wrong like you think it does I want to be awake for as long as I can be.” He said, sleep still clear in his voice. You sat next to him and snorted, “Aren’t you a little ray of sunshine in the morning.” You joked before he laughed a bit, “I’m not the one who decided to rob Tony.” He replied. “Fair point.” You said before setting the shirt you took down and looking over at Steve.

      "The other day you asked me about our relationship, we never finished that conversation.“ Steve said, breaking the silence. Your face turned bright red as you recalled that. "Yeah, I remember.” You said to him, your eyes not leaving his. “Well Steve, how do you want to define our relationship?” You asked him, repeating the question that he had asked you after you started that conversation. Steve seemed to be at a loss for words, like he knew what he wanted but he didn’t know how he was supposed to say it. His hand slowly moved to hold your cheek, before he started leaning in. It was like your world has slowed down as you started leaning too, your hand going to rest on top of the one he had placed on your cheek before your lips met. The kiss was soft at first, before it became more passionate as the unspoken feelings started pouring out into it. his hand moved to your hip and yours to his hair as he leaded back and started laying down, you following before you were sitting on top of his hips. You both pulled back for air, panting rather heavily. “D-Do you want-”“We could die today Steve, yes, I want to.” You said, which caused him to nod, a smile covering his lips as he flipped you both over, his finger going to the button on your jeans.

      After quite the start to your morning, you and Steve took a shower and got dressed, before joining the rest of the team for breakfast. Thor should be arriving within a few hours, so you were all mostly just waiting for his arrival. You sat next to Steve at the small table that was arranged for you all to eat at, before Tony sat right next to you, a playful glare on his face. “Hey there, little robber.” Tony said, a grin on his face as as he sat next to her, eyeing his own shirt that was clearly present on her body. “I like your clothes, they’re expensive.” She muttered, fighting a smile that was trying to inch it’s way onto her face. This caused Tony to laugh and shake his head before offering her a plate of breakfast, and asking if Steve wanted one too.

      A few hours later and they were all in a small room, sitting together while they discussed the possible ways that they could go about getting all of the infinity stones. You tried to talk to Thor, he had spent so many years closed off from everyone including you that just catching up would have been nice, however he had been through so much so anything that wasn’t sleeping or drinking just seemed to be something that he was opposed to. So you spent most of your time with Steve, not like you were complaining since you loved Steve, but you still would have liked to catch up with Thor. But, soon enough the plan was set, and you had all decided that you would begin. You were horrified to say the least, Vormir seemed like a horrible place but you were glad you were going with Steve. He was closest to you, and you had promised to do everything that was able to happen together, no matter how dangerous it may be.

      So, as you made your way to the place where you would be time traveling, you were all in your new Team Suits. You were all nervous, that was clear, but everyone tried to put on a brave face. You didn’t know if you would ever see your friends again, so you made sure to say goodbye to all of them. Thor wasn’t thinking straight, but hugging him still felt natural as though some part of your old friend was going to come back out again. Natasha, who you had spent the past 5 years being incredibly close with, was going with Tony, Bruce, Clint and Scott back to New York, you knew she would be safe. You hugged her, and really had a hard time hugging Bruce, but tried your best. Tony was one of the hardest people to say goodbye to, because you were sure you’d see him in a few moments but you were still horrified that something bad was going to happen. So, as you pulled him into a hug it obviously meant something. “You know, all of that shit with Sokovia, that fighting I- There’s not one day I don’t regret hurting you.” You told him, pulling back to make eye contact, to which he nodded. “I know, (Y/N)… why are you telling me this? Don’t you dare plan on dying on me.” He said, trying to make it seem sarcastic but you knew he meant it, he wanted you to come back alive. “I’ll do my best, I just… Nebula called it a Dominon of Death, Tony. If I die, I want you to know that I’m sorry for fighting you. We were friends, I let you down.” You said, guilt clear in your voice. “It was years ago, we all let each other down. It’ll be okay.” He told you, trying to comfort you but also trying to comfort himself. Tony pulled you into another hug, placing a reassuring kiss on your cheek before leading you back to Steve, where you all met.

      As you sat on the ship, you were more than nervous. “You know, if you’re this scared we can switch jobs.” Nebula told you, noting how your hands were shaking but you shook your head. “I agreed to do this, you’re the one that knows the most about Morag out of the four of us. It’ll be okay.” You told her, reiterating what Tony had told you moments earlier as you faced Steve. He took a hold of your hand, trying to stop the shaking. “So you two uh…” Rhodey dragged out his word, not really knowing how to say it without making it sound strange. “Oh my god, why Rhodey?” You asked, snorting and looking back at him. “What, you didn’t say I was wrong.” He teased and you rolled your eyes. “Maybe you aren’t.” You said, a grin covering your face as you glanced back to Steve who’s cheeks were beat red, but he knew Rhodey was just trying to calm you down.

      Finally, you arrived on Vormir, and you felt like you made the wrong choice in destinations. Vormir was beautiful, it was colorful and it looked like sunrise never ended there. However, it was dark, and it was cold, and you knew that it wasn’t exactly a place that you wanted to be on forever. Steve placed an arm around your shoulder, it was his way of comforting you, but also because both of you were still cold in your suits. You made your way to the top of the hill, but you saw nothing. Before a man in a cape appeared. “Captain Rogers?” Asked the man, know revealing himself to have a red face, he seemed like he was floating. “Schmidt? I thought you were dead.” He said, his face tensing as he looked at him. “When I held the Tesseract, it rejected me, and sent me through dimensions before I reached Vormir. I was sent here to be a stonekeeper, to guard the Soul Stone until someone else comes to retrieve it. "How do I know this is real?” He asked him. You didn’t say anything, You didn’t know this man, but it seemed that Steve did. “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), daughter for (Y/F/N) and (Y/M/N)” He said, and he had no real way of knowing that. “H-How did you know that? That’s classified information, no one knows that.” You said, but you knew he had to be telling the truth. Which is why his next few sentences haunted you. “Because I’m a stonekeeper, I know everything of everyone who approaches to get the stone. And many have, however none have succeeded.” Steve’s brows furrowed, “Why not?” He questioned, his grip around you tightening as your hands started shaking again. “Because to get the Soul Stone, you have to trade a soul.”

      Silence. As you processed what he said, it was like the word descended into silence. “One of us has to die?” You asked him, as he continued floating he led you to what was clear to you now was a cliff. “Yes, Ms. (Y/L/N), one of you needs to trade your soul.” Your heart sunk, you needed the stone. Whatever it takes. You knew Steve would run for it, and you were right. “Then it has to be me.” He said, but before he got very far you jumped on him. It didn’t do much, however you shocked him enough that you knocked him over, “No, Steve.” You told him. You got off of him and started running, but he threw his new shield in your way. You stopped, turning to face him, tearing running down your face, your lip quivering. And you could tell he was no better. You needed to say goodbye. You ran to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him with all that you could, and he returned it. “I lo-love you, more than anything.” You told him, your words stuttered do to the crying. “I love you too, more than anything. More than you know.” He told you, you kissed him again. But while he was distracted you made a run for it. About to dive off of the cliff before he put his shield directly in your way. Lodging it safely in the cliff below where you were about to fall off as his hand grasped yours.

      You were losing grip on the cliff, he was losing grip on you. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” You said, trying not to sob. “Steve, I love you, I always have and I wish we had more time but- we have to do whatever it takes. We need to bring-bring them back.” He shook his head, his firm grasp on your hand stopping you from falling, but you both knew there was no way to bring you back up without you trying to come back up yourself. “You promised Tony, I heard you.” “I told him I’d try, and I did Steve. but the world needs you.” “The world needs you too-” “Steve I- You’re a symbol of hope and you always has been. You were given more time on Earth because you needed it, because the future needed you. You need to let me go, I’ll never forgive myself if you die. Just- tell Tony that he’s my best friend, that I love him, and that I’m sorry. Please.” You said, pleading as your grip on Steve’s hand loosened. “Please, please I need you.” Steve begged, he was sobbing now. “It’s okay Steve, it’ll be okay.” You told him, trying your best to smile. Because you wanted him to know that it was your choice, that it would be okay. “I love you.” He said one last time, before he let you go. You kicked off the cliff as best as you could so you wouldn’t knock the shield down, thankfully he was able to grab it in time that it didn’t go with you. And as he looked down at you, realizing that you were actually gone, he was sent into water.

      Steve looked around him, sobs coming out of his lips as he looked down and saw the stone, he was then sent back to his time. Everyone was there, everyone besides her and Nebula. Everyone was happy, before they realized that someone was missing. “Steve, where’s (Y/N)?” Tony asked, his eyes going wide as he started looking around, but he then saw the look on Steve’s face, the loss and devastation, the tears streaming down his cheeks. “Steve?” He asked again, and he shook his head. “S-She sacrificed herself for the stone. I tried to stop her.” He said, his words broken and shaky as he met Tony’s eyes, his own still streaming with tears as Tony tried to hold himself together as well. The others realizing what had happened slowly, realizing that you were gone. “She told me to tell you that you’re her best friend, that she loves you, and that she’s sorry.” He repeated, his eyes faltering to the ground. You were gone, Steve’s sole motivation was to avenge you. Because that’s what the group was, The Avengers, and he knew they would Avenge in your honor.