#So I guess the direct answer to your question is she'd never be on these kind of terms with lolth

[mystxmomo]

This might be a slightly nebulous one but: If Enclave had the opportunity to speak 'directly' to Lolth in the way she does Vhaeraun, how do you reckon that would go? Would something like that even happen?

So. I had some thoughts with this question.

It would depend on the period of her life she's in.

Enclave "<200" has a much different personality than Enclave after she joins Vhaeraun's church, because the kind of people that occupy his church (And frankly, the kind of god HE is) heavily influences the person she becomes (And there-for, the type of person to talk to divinity with that much audacity.)

But also, I don't think Enclave is stupid. Talking to Vhaeraun like she does is calculated (In that she knows it's something he finds funny.) Compared to Lolth who wants control and to be feared.

AND If she had stuck with Lolth and stayed a Priestess of Lolth? She wouldn't have ended up with the kind of personality that allowed her to feel emboldened enough to speak to divinity like that at all. Honestly, my overarching thought about the person she'd become if she stayed with Lolth is "This is a woman who would have ended up dead/cannibalized by the system she serves." This is someone that drow society is designed to fail, y'know? She doesn't LIKE unpredictability and chaos, she wants order. And a very nice list of things she can complete.

However, if we're talking Enclave at like. 500. As she is now in the current, as a cleric of Vhaeraun, Post-Everything? Yeah she has nothing to lose. She'd get smited by the spider god, she's not winning that fight. But she'd cuss her out. She doesn't have to be on good terms with her.

[ivysprophecy]

sharpest tools

warnings: dual POV HAHA so im not saying i know jj or that this is how he thinks or whatever im simply doing it for a change of pace and writing style, wanted to experiment a little so by all means if this isnt your thing pls keep scrolling. mentions of extreme anxiety, mentions of chronic pain meds, over the counter meds

word count: 2299

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masterlist

summary: after your fight blows out of proportion both you and jj are left wondering what just happened? and the poor pogues are caught in the crossfires trying to delegate and reunite the two idiots. because neither of them are the sharpest tools in the shed.

jj's pov

"jj... jj wake up," my eyes open enough to see someone crouching in front of me.

why the hell is sarah waking me up?

i move to sit up forgetting i slept in the hammock last night so i swing and struggle for a second before gaining my balance back.

"whats up?"

she hands me a water and some aspirin she snagged from the kitchen, from the looks of it no one else is awake. "just wanted to make sure you were alright."

"i appreciate it sar but im good. i swear," i take a swig of the water before swallowing the pain killers, "theres absolutely nothing wrong," because really i dont know that the fuck is wrong.

"im guessing you dont wanna talk about what happened last night?"

"honest to god sarah im not even sure what happened- that girl kissed me and before i could get her off me y/n swooped in and exploded."

sarah sits criss cross on the grass next to the hammock looking over at me with an odd look on her face.

"so you didnt mean to kiss her?"

"no- sarah i didnt kiss that girl i swear on my life. she was asking me a question about directions and all of a sudden shes got me pinned against the rocks. honest," i hold my hands up in surrender feeling interrogated, "i'd never do that to y/n"

"im not saying you would- its just that we didnt know until last night so... speaking of that. what the fuck was that about?"

everyone has so many questions and honestly i do too, i dont know half of the answers. feels like i wiped out and i cant find the shore.

i just wish she'd talk to me. like im sure if shed just let me get two words in i could reassure her but i dont know what shes thinking right now and its killing me.

i hate it. i hate that i caused this.

but in my defense it kinda feels like she blew it way out of proportion if she had just let me explain this whole thing would be okay.

"i just... i dont know sar- she had all this anxiety about relationships and whatever- i dont really get it but she said she wanted to keep it between the two of us. who was i to tell her no ya know? i just wanna be with her."

sarah just kinda looks at me with wide eyes.

"what?"

"youre like- down bad arent you? youre totally whipped."

"i wouldnt say that-" she interrupts me.

"jj maybanks got a girlfriend... this is headline news," she chuckles making me roll my eyes. i thought we were having a serious conversation, not that i try to have those often but i could use her advice on the subject.

"sarah seriously- what the hell do i do? i barely know what happened last night how am i supposed to fix what i dont know is fucked up?"

"well from the tid bit you told me? sounds like shes massively overthinking and just saw the wrong thing at the wrong time, and it just so happened to fit into her warped little nightmare."

what the fuck did she just say?

"so youre saying this is just all in her head?"

"no- well- kind of... from the sounds of it shes got a lot of anxiety and trust issues. shes probably trying to self sabotage the relationship."

i let out a frustrated sigh, "can you not talk like a therapist for a minute?"

"jj what im saying is you both dont know how to handle the situation. you need to talk to each other, have a real discussion not just scream in each others faces like last night."

"i tried to talk to her! she wouldnt listen!"

sarah lets out a laugh letting her head hang as her body shook from the laughter. pushing some hair out of her face she turns her body to face me more head on.

"jj- it was the heat of the moment and she was scared and upset. of course she wasnt going to listen... now that shes had time to cool off? you might have a better shot."

"but what if she doesnt believe me?" look i dont like admitting that i get a little insecure sometimes, but id rather do that than fuck my relationship with y/n.

because god ive been trying for so long i dont know what im gonna do if i lose her.

i really need to see her. "is she awake?"

"not yet i dont think... why? what are you gonna do?" i stand up running my hands through my untamed hair trying to wake up a little bit.

"im gonna try to make it up to her- make sure shes up by the time i get home. 'kay?"

"home? what the fuck are you talking about jj? where are you going?" sarah stands up as she sees me walking towards my bike. her voice raising so it will carry enough for me to hear.

"dont worry bout it!"

with those final words i take off down the dirt road...

readers pov

ugh. my head is pounding. i need excedrin.

god last night was a horrible combination for my chronic migraines.

i walk into the kitchen and see john b and pope huddled in the corner making shushing noises before turning around to face me.

"there she is!" i shove my hand in john bs face to shut him up.

"its nine am. wheres the medicine cabinet my head is throbbing." poor sweet pope hands me the bottle of pills and a cold water. god bless him. "thank you," i let out a whine as i tilt my head back to take the medicine. "sorry ive got a killer migraine."

"oh-" they exchange glances with one another before pope speaks up in a hushed tone, "go lay down- let the meds work. and drink your water."

i squint at him, seeing how nervous he is. he wants to say something. they both do.

is this headache bearable enough to get this conversation over with? technically yes. should i use it as an excuse to ignore everything? probably not...

"its okay. we can talk. i can tell you want to."

"thank god" jb expresses before pope hits him in the chest, which leads to john b throwing his arms up in defense "what? you said we needed to talk to her!"

"yea but not force her to!"

"guys- cmon its fine. really. i know its a lot so lets just get this over with. yes jj and i had been dating for a month. yes we didnt tell anyone on purpose, i didnt want the pressure. i dont know if he kissed that girl or not but i freaked out and just wanted to be alone. i didnt mean to hurt his feelings but i was obviously upset so i said things i didnt mean. there. happy?"

both the boys look at me with bug eyes, "a month?!" they exclaim together.

"my god- yes. a month. its really not a big deal-"

"yes it is y/n- thats a huge step for you and jj. i thought the whole casual thing would flame out. this is a huge commitment for the both of you," pope reminds me, as if i wasnt aware. i

i was simply trying to down play it to give myself a reason to care less, seems like thats not happening any time soon.

"what are you my doctor?"

"i think what pope is trying to say is... were a little worried about you y/n/n... what happened last night- you kinda flew off the handle."

i whip my head around so fast i get dizzy, grabbing the counter for stability.

"excuse me? i flew off the handle? jj was the one kissing other girls-"

"y/n i think deep down you know thats not true-"

"no- no you dont get to tell me im crazy and then tell me what im thinking- this is my relationship. this is exactly why i didnt wanna tell everyone because i knew youd all stick your noses in it. what happened is between me and jj. no one else."

pope reaches out to steady me seeing me sway a little, "woah- okay maybe we should put a pause in this convo-"

"im fine pope. i just dont see how this is anyones business."

"we're not saying its our business y/n/n, were just worried about you. youre not acting like yourself. you seem anxious, paranoid, you know- just not normal," pope pleaded with me, making me sit on one of the dining chairs.

"right-" john be interjected, "all were trying to point out is we all know jj would never ever put his whatever you wanna call it with you in jeopardy. hes whipped. theres no way he went and kissed another girl."

i see where theyre coming from. i really do. i want to believe it but there are too many things playing in my head that tell me otherwise.

on one hand, i know jj would never hurt me. not on purpose, and to cheat is definitely with a purpose. hes always reassured me that its just me and since we got serious he hasnt given me a reason to doubt him.

but on the other... just seeing her all over him is so hard to forget. it all happened so fast, i dont know how long theyd been kissing for, maybe i got there just as it happened or maybe itd been going on for a while i have no idea. too many factors.

"y/n if you listen to literally anything we say let it be that we know jj loves you," i look up at the curly haired boy whos basically grown to be my brother.

"thats a big word for elmo-"

pope runs a hand over his face with a sigh, "for the love of god be serious for a minute," 'theyre made for each other' he thinks to himself. "just hear him out. please. for some reason he loves you a lot-"

"hey!"

"-and if were speaking freely youre the one whos put all of this at stake because all the rest of know jj didnt kiss that girl. youre the only one who has doubts. so talk to him. please. were begging you."

"... 'we're?' youve all talked about this?"

"of course we have- it all unraveled in front of us what else did you expect? by the way i was supposed to tell you sarah is siked for you- maybe nows not the time," john be stops himself scratching the back of his head.

honestly it gets a giggle out of me.

"okay.. yea. ill talk to him. where is he? is he here?"

pope looks out the window in the front yard, where he can see sarah peeking in before moving out os sight to pretend she wasnt listening in.

"he was here- he slept outside last night. wanted to give you space since you both normally share the couch."

oh... thats- sweet.

fuck. maybe i am screwing all of this up.

"can i come in now??" i hear sarah yell from the other side of the door.

"get in here!" i raise my voice a little testing my headache, which ironically has somehow gotten a little better.

sarah walks through the door. letting out a rather dramatic sigh, "finally. sorry- jj got some big idea and left on his bike a few minutes ago. said to have y'n awake by the time he gets back so... i dont really know what to do now."

john b looks at his wife and i notice... its like how jj looks at me.

fuck.

fuck fuck fuck.

"do you know where he went??" i look at sarah with a begging tone and pleading tone.

she shakes her head "sorry honey bun," she teases with a smile. "but since weve got time... john b, pope, and i will go get some breakfast while we wait for jj to get back. you stay here- give you two some space to work it all out."

"what? no its fine- really you dont have to go..."

sarah walks up to me grabbing me by the shoulder with some stupid fucking grin like shes all knowing, "girl. youre gonna be fine. youll talk, kiss, and make up and be the happiest couple ever. it will be sickening, trust me id know. relax. it will be fine. you and jj will be able to work this out, im sure."

and with that john b grabs the keys to the twinkie heading out the door following wifes orders, with pope following in suit with an apologetic shrug.

sarah gives me a teasing kiss on the forehead, "well be back soon sweetie be safe."

"oh fuck off- bring back bacon and coffee please," she salutes me before walking outside with the boys.

"no one ever said she was the sharpest tool in the shed," john b quips as he steps into the twinkie with a sigh before turning the ignition.

pope hops in the back letting out a small laugh "yea thats for sure."

"neither of them are," sarah rebuts looking over at john b as they all laugh. "theyre both as sharp as a dull spoon"

"what the fuck did you just say?" jb looks over at her with a quizzical look on his face.

"just drive routledge."

[keerysfreckles]

ok, so I saw your Newsies smau and I was thinking...

Reader plays Eurydice on Hadestown and a while back she broke up with her toxic ex. But then she meets one of the drivers (u can choose which one) at a show one day and yk they fall in love. Inspired by the song All I've Ever Known from Hadestown.

This is hyper specific and u can ignore this, I'm just rambling here

all i've ever known — LN4

pairing: lando norris x bway!reader

warnings: slight smut, allusions to smut, not proofread

a/n: sorry not sorry but ive never listened to the hadestown soundtrack SO going off the vibes of the show and what i know of it from tiktok 🤞🤞

masterlist !

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

for the past three months oscar has been begging lando to go to a broadway show with him. every time the brit is asked, he argues that lily should go with oscar. which he denies, explaining lily's hate towards musicals.

yes, maybe oscar was trying to set up one of his closest friends with his teammate. what could be so bad about him trying to be a good wing man?

after asking non stop during the weekend, lando finally agreed to fly to new york with oscar.

on the plane, oscar tried his best to explain the musical to lando. lando however only got more confused as oscar kept talking, so he opted to look it up on google instead.

"why are you so insistent with me going with you anyway? there's 18 other drivers to pick from," lando asks as he and oscar walk through the streets of new york, on their way to the theater. oscar kept looking down at his phone at google maps, displaying the directions to the address.

"first off, you're the closest friend i have on the grid. and second, there's someone i want you to meet."

lando chuckles, "so this was just to set me up?" oscar simply nods. "does my love life seem that depressing to you?"

oscar doesn't answer as they arrive at the theater, already having a large line queued. the mclaren drivers wait in line, signing things and taking pictures here and there as the line continues moving.

both men are handed a playbill at the entrance, to which lando immediately flips through as oscar leads them to their seats.

oscar points out to lando his friend, y/n, in the small booklet. her black and white picture is at the top of the second page, along with a male, who lando could only guess was the other lead in the show.

"your friend is the lead?" lando asks in shock.

oscar laughs, "yeah, she's actually going to school for musical theater at nyu."

lando whistles and looks through the cast again, now noticing a certain celebrity who's playing the male lead.

"jordan fisher?"

oscar only laughs again at his over enthusiastic friend. "you know, for someone who kept saying no, you seem pretty excited to be here."

before lando could come up with a proper comeback, the lights started dimming in the theater, hushing the crowd.

oscar kept stealing glances towards lando throughout the whole show. he couldn't help but smile as his face lit up as y/n first stepped out on stage.

lando looked like a kid in a candy store. his cheeks flushed and eyes wide, with a smile adorning his features.

at intermission lando immediately started praising y/n towards oscar, telling him how she was made for the stage.

"why don't you tell her that?"

lando only furrowed his eyebrows in response.

"at the end of the show people wait by the stage door to hopefully meet the cast. y/n promised she'd meet us out there."

the two continued talking. oscar answering any questions lando had about the show so far.

the second act of the show went the same as the first, lando being in awe of y/n and oscar smiling at his friend because of his actions.

intentional or not, oscar could tell lando already thought highly of y/n. now the australian could only hope they'd get along once they met.

as soon as the lights dimmed on stage, the audience roared in applause and cheers.

oscar and lando cheered louder when y/n stepped forward, there was no surprise there.

now the duo was waiting outside the theater, their arms wrapped around themselves to try and keep them warm in the chilly new york wind.

"you alright? you seem kind of nervous," oscar states, noticing lando swaying more then usual. a nervous habit he's picked up on over the past year or so.

lando simply shrugs. he was not about to share with oscar how he might've just fallen in love with girl on stage. he never believed in love at first sight before, but now his mind has been changed.

the stage doors opened, revealing y/n and her costar jordan fisher. both were eager to meet the fans who waited, and signed pictures and other items, as well as take pictures with the fans and answer any questions they had.

as y/n was finishing signing a picture for a fan, oscar called her over.

"oscar!" y/n giggled as she jogged towards him and lando.

oscar hugged and congratulated her, lando doing the same.

"so you're the famous lando he keeps talking about," y/n smiles up at him, taking in his features for the first time.

lando laughed before looking at oscar, "what on earth have you told her about me?"

"nothing bad don't worry," oscar pats his shoulder, as y/n simply chuckles.

⋆ ˚ ｡ ⋆ ୨୧ ˚

three weeks have passed since y/n and lando met. they were lucky enough to get each other's phone numbers before departing on the night they met. the two haven't stopped talking since.

lando told y/n he'd be back in new york with his close friend max.

y/n couldn't help but grow excited at the news, counting down the few days until lando would be back in the states.

to add to the surprise of lando showing up, he was currently waiting outside the stage door, just like last time when he was here.

he made sure to keep the secret of being in the audience tonight, knowing how happy it would make y/n once she saw him there.

just like every other night, y/n was talking with the fans, simply going down the line taking pictures and signing items.

it was when she turned, "lando!" she laughed, finally noticing the brit standing off to the side.

she ran towards him, jumping against him to tackle him in a hug. he held his arms out, prepared for impact as he spun her around once.

"i thought you were getting here tomorrow," y/n holds onto his biceps as he sets her down, his hands never leaving her waist.

"i convinced my friend to leave a day early. mainly 'cause you had a show tonight."

"lan, that is so sweet," the nickname fell right off her tongue. lando couldn't help but feel his cheeks warm as she said it.

"only issue is he's still getting here tomorrow," lando frowns slightly, "he was busy filming a video for quadrant."

y/n nods in understanding, then an idea hits her. "well if you don't have a hotel already, you could stay at my apartment?"

lando chooses to ignore the feeling in his chest as she asked, simply nodding.

"great! my cars just parked in the garage behind the theater," y/n boldly grabs a hold of his hand, not that he'd complain for one second about it.

"sorry it's not as fancy as your many mclarens," y/n laughs as the two get in the small car.

"it suits you," lando smiles, sending a shiver down y/n's spine.

the continue continue talking on the way to y/n's apartment. the conversation flowing from lando's hobbies, to y/n's least favorite food, and to what they like to do on their free time.

"it might be a bit messy," y/n states as she unlocks the door.

lando looks around after stepping inside. the walls of the living room are decorated just as he imagined, colorful yet collected. everything went together.

"are you hungry? or just tired?" y/n asks.

"i'm insanely jet lagged, but was worth it staying up to see you perform again," he smiled, watching as a blush made it ways to y/n's cheeks.

"are you okay with the couch?"

lando nods, watching the girl get two blankets and a pillow from somewhere in a room down the hallway. lando guessed it was from her own room.

y/n now noticed lando was still wearing jeans, knowing their not the most comfortable item to sleep in.

after finding a pair of extra large sweatpants and a larger shirt for lando, the two exchanged goodnight. y/n closed her door as she heard the netflix app loading on her living room tv.

what both y/n and lando weren't aware of, is how they couldn't get the other out of their heads.

lando thought about how close he and y/n have gotten in the past month. he only wanted to know more about her.

y/n was in the same boat in her room, as she kept tossing and turning, messing up her sheets more and more. of course she would admit she likes lando, just never to his face.

she loved when he was around, and only wished he was around whenever the two were apart.

five minutes pass as y/n's done contemplating about the ordeal. 'now or never' she tells herself while getting out of her bed. she takes a deep breath before opening her bedroom door.

"lan?"

lando was stood in front of her, equally as startled. she notices his hand raised slightly, she could only guess he was going to knock on her door.

lando's gaze flickers between y/n's eyes, before silently pulling her face towards his. her hands immediately fall to his waist while their lips collide.

he simply pushes forward, guiding them into her room as the kiss only grows more heated.

y/n moans into lando's mouth as his teeth graze her bottom lip. the two's lips stay connected as y/n's legs hit her bed.

their heavy panted breaths mix as y/n brings lando's shirt over his head. she can't help but stare at his toned body, blushing as he catches her in the act.

lando helps her lean back onto her bed, kissing down her exposed neck, his pants growing tighter at the feeling of her fingers gripping onto his curls.

"lan," y/n mumbles, "lando," she calls again.

he looks down at her, his pupils wide and breathing jagged. "yeah?"

"do you want this? like really want this?" y/n asks, not wanting to force anything on him.

lando quickly nods, "y/n i've never been more sure of anything."

he leans down to kiss her, this one being slower than before. a silent agreement between the two, both knowing how they needed this.

[radioactiveparker]

The Breakfast Club - Eddie Munson X F!Cheerleader!Reader

Part Three - Hallway Vision

Chapter Summary - During an adventure through the maze of school hallways, we see the Criminal become the hero, and the King become the villain. (A retelling of The Breakfast Club, written and directed by John Hughes.)

Chapter Warnings - Characters are all 18+ / Strong Language / Illusions to Emotional Abuse/ Abusive Relationship / Vandalism / Strong Sexual References / Drug References / Angst

Word Count - 5k

(Series Masterlist) (Masterlist)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Four) (Part Five)

~~~~~

Saturday.

October 25th, 1986.

Hawkins High Library.

1:00pm

~~~~~

"Let's take off. Dick's gone cruising." Eddie poked his head back into the library.

"Is that a euphemism?"

"No, Buckley. It means Higgins has just left his office."

You looked at the others as if this was an easy yes; you wanted to leave this library. Steve and Nancy didn't look too fond of the idea. Robin was torn between not wanting to leave, and not wanting to be the only one left behind. 

"How do you know where he went?" Nancy asked, as if his answer would determine hers.

"I don't. But he's gone. He wouldn't've come to check on us first if he wasn't going somewhere for a while. Jesus, I've never seen so much chicken shit in one place in my life."

She didn't find that answer very reassuring, but if Nancy was anything, it certainly wasn't chicken shit.

Robin looks at her, then back at Eddie. "I'll go out in the hall for a minute, but I don't wanna leave." As if that was proof enough that she wasn't chicken shit.

You really wanted to get out of that library. It had felt a lot bigger when you had first got there, but now, five hours later, it was starting to get suffocating. You didn't want to see another book for the rest of your life. 

"Do you mean take off for good?" You asked hopefully.

Eddie shook his head. "For good? No, just down to my locker."

"Okay." You agreed simply, taking your place beside him.

He smiled at you. "Being bad feels pretty god, huh?" 

You rolled your eyes at him and gave him a playful shove. The others looked like they were starting to consider it. Eddie's locker wasn't that far away. They would be gone for five minutes tops. If things went well, that was.

"What's the point of going to a locker?" Steve questioned.

"Why don't we just stand in the hall for a minute? That'd be fun, huh? If we get away with it." Robin attempted to persuade.

You and Eddie ignored them, taking the chance to slip out the door. The longer you all spent debating it, the less time you would have to get back.

Steve, Robin, and Nancy looked at each other.

"I'm not chicken." Nancy disclosed boldly, shifting on her feet and crossing her arms.

"I am." Robin gulped. At least she was honest.

"You two gonna stay?" Nancy flicked her eyes between the two of them.

"Not if you don't." Steve leaned against the door frame, like his answer showed her some sort of compassion, that he was thinking of her. 

"What do I have to do with making up your mind?"

Steve gulped. Not the reaction he was hoping. He cleared his throat and accepted defeat. "I don't know. I guess if you're not scared, I shouldn't be... not that I am. I'm not scared. Not of Principal Higgins."

Nancy stared at him like she didn't believe him, then left before he could dig the hole any deeper for himself. Steve was crushed as he watched Nancy walk away. He felt like he had just blown a chance at impressing Nancy. His shoulders slumped, and Robin patted him on the back.

"Maybe you should think for yourself for once. It's healthy." 

She hadn't said it in a bad way, but it had still injured his dignity. He brushed her hand off him and left without a word. Robin turned to the empty library. She debated sitting back down, but she had visions of Higgins storming through the doors and hounding her with questions. At least if she got caught in the halls, she'd have the others with her. She quickly followed after Steve.

Nancy and Steve caught up with you and Eddie, with Robin running behind, trying to catch up. You all hurried up the steps as quietly as possible. You made it to the teacher's lounge and paused, hearing noise coming from inside.

"For cryin' out loud!" Principal Higgins hit the vending machine. His soda can was stuck inside. 

You and Eddie ran across the open doorway while he was distracted. You tried not to think about the way Eddie had grabbed your hand to pull you along. Higgins rattled the coin return and started banging on the buttons. Steve and Nancy went next, taking a big lunge across and landing on their feet silently. Higgins let out a defeated sigh and started rummaging his pockets for more change. Finally, Robin made it across, just in time before the Principal turned around after having no luck. Eddie turned to make sure that everyone had made it across. He hadn't realised that he was still holding your hand until you wiggled it out of his grip. Your face flushed, and you awkwardly wiped your hand on your skirt, suddenly feeling the perspiration on your palm. You took a step away from each other at the same time. Eddie cleared his throat, and the others eyed him, wondering why his demeanour had suddenly changed.

They all turned when they saw his eyes staring behind them, paralysed in panic. Principal Higgins had walked out of the teacher's lounge. 

Everyone froze.

The Principal paused, looked down at his watch, turned the other way, and walked down the hall. Everyone released a breath when he was out of sight. Eddie led you down another hall until you reached his locker.

His locker was so ugly it hurt your eyes. The white paint on his locker was non-existent. It was a horrific amalgamation of stickers from bands you've never heard of, spray paint graffiti, and lettering scratched into the metal with handwriting so bad you couldn't even read it. When he opened it, the inside wasn't much better. The stickers and writing wrapped around the inside of the locker door. It was a stunning mess of clothes, bags, papers, books, cassette tapes, and auto parts. You'd hate to see what his bedroom looked like. 

Not that you were thinking of being in his bedroom.

Eddie started fishing through his locker. Nancy was revolted by it. 

"You're such a slob. Your maid take the week off or something?"

"This is on purpose, Princess. Don't worry." Nobody believed him. "It discourages nosey people from going in it. Like cops."

Eddie smiled when he located what he was looking for. He pulled out a greasy, stained shopping bag. Out of the shopping bag, he took a smaller brown paper bag, and out of that, an even smaller paper bag. Then, with great drama and a huge, proud smile, he reached his hand into the final bag.

"You ready for this action?"

He slowly took out a baggie bulging with marijuana. Your mouth hung open in shock. Nancy looked at it like it was infectious.

"No way, man. Put it back." Steve insisted, making a reach for it.

Eddie stuffed the baggie down the from of his pants with a smirk. Steve pulled a disgusted face; there was no way he was going to take it from him now. 

"Let's go."

You all turned and quietly crept back down the hall. You were about to turn the corner when Eddie stopped you. Professor Higgins was standing outside of the teacher's lounge again, holding two cans of Coca Cola after finding some spare change in his office draw. He was only five yards away. You all scooted backwards to hide behind the corner. You bravely peeked a head around. Higgins turned and made his way down the hall. He was on his way back to the library. You told the others.

"We're screwed!" Robin cried

"You asshole!" Steve seethed. "I knew this was a lost idea!"

Nancy shook her head in disbelief. "We're finished. This is just great." 

You had a bit more optimism than that. You turned to Eddie. He got himself out of shit all the time. What's one more? You had faith in him, and he had felt it in how you spoke your words. "What're we gonna do?"

Eddie thought hard. Higgins' leisurely footsteps echoed down the hall, each one diminishing your chances of getting back to the library undetected. 

"We'll go around, cut through the lab, and double back. C'mon."

Eddie urged everyone to start running. You all swerved around corners and scrambled downstairs, sacrificing volume for speed. You narrowly escaped Higgins' sight when you turned and corner and seen he was walking head on towards you all. He was too busy sipping on his Cola to notice the group of students at the end of the hall. At least he had decided to take the scenic route back to the library. He was unintentionally buying you all some time. You all ran in the opposite direction again.

"Cut through the cafeteria." Eddie directed, starting to run down the hall to the right.

"The gym will be faster." Steve countered.

"What? No, you don't know what you're talking about."

"No, you don't know what you're talking about. I'm through listening to you. You'll just end up getting us into more trouble. We're going this way." Steve had managed to persuade the others into following him. 

Eddie hardly spent time in school, and he certainly never used the gym. He couldn't remember if it was quicker or not. He didn't like not being in control. He felt like he was running off a cliff head first with a blindfold on. He watched as the others followed Steve down the hall to the left. It was just you and him left. You stared at him fearfully, listening to Principal Higgins' footsteps grow closer. You started backwards slowly, encouraging Eddie to follow. He did with a scoff of annoyance. The two of you quickly caught up with the others, falling behind while Steve led the way. After a couple of twists and turns and another almost run in with the Principal, you reached the gym doors. Steve pulled on the handles.

They were locked.

Sheer panic set in.

"Great idea, shitbag." Eddie spat at Steve.

"Fuck you." He tried the doors again to double check that they were locked. 

They were. He kicked them bitterly.

"Fuck you, why didn't you listen to Eddie?" You defended. 

You crashed back on some lockers and folded your arms in frustration.

"We're dead." Robin whimpered.

Eddie looked at you. You had probably given him more credit that what he was worth before when you had asked him for help, but now, as you stared back, he wanted to prove himself to you. You seeing the clogs working in his brain and the change in his eyes.

He didn't take his eyes off you. "No, just me." He said heroically.

"What do you mean?" Steve's voice finally drew his eyes away from you.

"I'm gonna take the rap." He pulls his baggie of marijuana out and shoves it down Steve's pants. "Keep your unit out of it."

The girls giggled. Steve was horrified that a group of girls were laughing about his genitals.

"I mean, what if the bag broke and the dope seeped into his thing and it got high?" Robin laughed.

"Can you imagine this airhead running around with his little weenie stoned?" You cracked up.

"Little?" Steve looked wounded. "It's not that funny." 

The girls just cracked up more. Eddie smirked.

"I don't want this, Eddie!" Steve begged.

"C'mon King Steve, I'm gonna save your buns! It's your fault we're in this mess, the least you could do is hold on to that until Dick leaves." 

The girls were still laughing. You meet Eddie's eye and he starts laughing too.

Steve turned back to the group of girls snickering behind him. "Excuse me, but I don't want to do this. Eddie's making me, so I'd appreciate it if you guys would stop with the jokes. Okay?"

Eddie turned and started running back down the hall. "Just get back to the library!"

There was a pause as the girls calmed down. No use in trying to be sneaky when you can't stop laughing. 

"Eddie, wait." He paused, eyebrows raised in interest at your voice. "Be careful."

Eddie beamed and shot you a wink before sprinting down the hall.

"That stuff couldn't really happen, right?" Steve's voice quivered with concern for his unit.

With a roll of your eyes, you urged the group to start towards the library. You lead the way, taking Eddie's route through the cafeteria. As you ran through the halls, you could hear his loud singing, but he was too distant for you to understand any of the words. If you could hear him from all the way over here, Principal Higgins would most definitely already be on his way to catch him. 

You managed to get them all back to the library safely. Everyone was huffing for breath, and Steve kept adjusting his pants. Everyone took their seats, except for Nancy, who was peering out of the doors to keep an eye out for Higgins or Eddie. 

Nancy gasped. "Higgins' got him! He's gonna get reamed."

Steve recoiled at the name. "I do not want these drugs in my underwear anymore."

"Shhh!"

Nancy rushed from the door to her desk. No sooner was she seated than the door opened up, and Principal Higgins shoved Eddie in. He was red-faced from running around, and he had managed to tie his hair back into a low bun that you thought suited him. His red paid shirt was half hanging off, and he was carrying one shoe in his hand, but he still had a big shit-eating grin on his face. You wondered what on earth had happened. He made his way towards his seat next to you, hopping on one leg as he tried to walk and put his shoe back on at the same time. 

Higgins crossed his arms impatiently. "Mr. Munson has taken it upon himself to visit the gymnasium. So, I'm sorry to inform you that you'll be losing his company for the remainder of the day." 

Eddie chuckled to himself as he sat back in his seat next to you.

"Everything's a joke, huh, Munson? The false alarm you pulled on Friday? Are false fire alarms real funny? What if your home was on fire and the fire department was over here answering a false alarm?"

"I'm not that lucky, Sir."

Everyone suppressed the urge to laugh at Eddie's wisecrack. 

"Fine, what if it was your dope on fire?"

"That's impossible, Sir. It's in Harrington's underwear."

Everyone cracks up again. Steve turned red, adjusting himself in his jeans not-so subtly.

The Principal turned his attention on everyone else. "You like this? You think Munson's funny? Do you think he's cute?"

He got no reaction from anyone. Eddie glared at Higgins as he made his little speech, trying to hide his embarrassment at the fact that the Principal had managed to one-up him. 

"I bet Y/N thinks I'm cute." He mumbled under his breath. Eddie had spoken your actual name for the first time. It sounded like honey running off his lips. Your eyes widened, but you pretended not to hear. 

Higgins continued. "Go visit Big Eddie Munson in five years and see how goddamn funny he is." He smiled and leaned in close to Eddie. "You look like you're gonna cry, Munson."

Eddie was struggling to keep himself from striking Principal Higgins across his smug fucking face. How dare he humiliate him in front of everyone. How dare he humiliate him in front of you.

"You're not tough, Munson. You're pathetic." He reached out and grabbed Eddie by the front. "Let's go."

Eddie smacked his hand away. "Get your fucking hands off me! I'd expect better manners from you, Dick."

Eddie shuffled around the table, planting a big kiss on your cheek as he left. You almost gasped in surprise. As he walked away, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. Why he was carrying sunglasses in October, you had no idea. You had learned it was probably better not to question him. He lay them on the desk in front of Steve. 

"For better hallway vision." He sniped.

Principal Higgins walked out, holding the door open for Eddie as he shuffled languidly behind him. He turned his head and looked at the others. 

He held up a peace sign in farewell. "It's been a slice, ladies."

The door closed behind them.

The room was silent once more. 

You reached a hand to your cheek where Eddie had kissed you. The skin was tingling under your touch. You couldn't help but smile at the memory of his surprisingly soft lips. Billy flashed through your mind again. Your heart dropped into your gut. How could you have let Eddie have that effect on you when Billy was waiting for you at home? The thought had your body tingling again. But not the good kind. 

Everyone awkwardly glanced at each other. You realised now that somehow Eddie had been the glue that was holding you all together. You had all bonded over your inadequacy to tolerate Eddie that, now he wasn't here, you had absolutely nothing in common.  You were unable to prevent the disappointment swarming in your chest.

"Principal Higgins is a total meat head." You broke the silence and everyone turned to you.

They all had the same sort of sorrow in their eyes. The girls agreed with you, but Steve shook his head like he didn't have any regrets.

"The freak asked for it."

The insult upset you more than it probably would have upset Eddie. "Hey! It isn't fair that Eddie gets treated like that. We all left. He saved our asses."

"Oh, get a life, Y/N."

You thought Steve was starting to come around to you after your talk on the way to the teachers lounge. You guessed not. "He sacrificed himself so we could get back here. I didn't see you volunteering."

You had wounded Steve's dignity. "I didn't want to leave in the first place. He got us into it, it's only right that he take the shit for getting us out of it." He bit back.

"You weren't forced to go!"

"Munson is a troublemaker."

"Yeah? So what does that make you?"

"Meaning what?"

"Wimp."

CCRRAASSHH!!!

Everyone turned in the direction of one of the seclusion rooms. There is a gaping hole in the ceiling where the tiles had crashed through, and Eddie splayed, stunned, on his back on the table. After catching his breath, he sat up and shook the dry plaster out of his hair. He sauntered out into the main library like nothing had happened.

"Miss me?"

"How did you do that?" You bewildered.

"Smoke and mirrors." He winked, taking his rightful seat beside you.

"Goddammit!" Footsteps came hurtling towards the library doors.

"Shit!" Eddie ducked underneath the table. 

His tall, lanky body hardly fit underneath. He shuffled upwards until his upper half was tucked between your legs. You cringed, trying so desperately to close your legs so Eddie didn't look straight up your skirt, but your legs were trapped on either side of his shoulders. 

Principal Higgins stood at the door, red-faced and puffing. "What was that ruckus?" 

"What ruckus?" You played dumb, jumping in before Steve could open his mouth and rat on Eddie. 

Higgins eyed them all up. You all sat like little angles, up straight and arms folded innocently in front of you.

"Could you describe it, Sir?" Robin asked.

"Watch your tongue, Missy."

Eddie shifted in discomfort, adjusting himself so his back didn't ache as much. He eyed your white keds. Only a slight discolouration in the laces and few specs of mud from when you had crossed the school field, but otherwise clean. He moved back slightly so he didn't get any dirt on himself. He followed his eyes up your white socks, tracing the green trim at the top of your knee. He was glad to be under the table when he flushed at the sight of your bare skin. The soft flesh of your thighs enticing him to follow higher.

There was a sudden knock from under the table from Eddie accidentally banging his head. You jolted in surprise, hitting your hands on the table to disguise the sound. The others copied, tapping their own little beats.

"What was that noise?"

"What noise?"

Eddie hoped that the sight he saw would never leave his mind. It was enough to send anyone into a cardiac arrest. His mouth hung open as he ogled straight up your skirt. You hadn't worn your spandex briefs since you weren't actually doing any cheerleading, and instead had opted for a pair of baby blue cotton panties. Eddie's mouth was watering at the excruciatingly tender bulge. In his entire life, Eddie would not be able to duplicate the raw power of this moment. Eddie's eyes were locked in a stare, hand trembling and eager to touch.

"Really, Sir, there wasn't any noise, just ---"

You shot up straight with a gasp, hands reaching underneath the table and into Eddie's hair. You could feel it tickling the skin of your thigh as his head moved further between your legs. The others looked at you with alarm. You pulled gently on his hair to urge him to stop, but couldn't find yourself putting in any effort to resist him. Your hand stayed weaved into his curled as he continued to delve in deeper. Your legs had started trembling when you felt his lips graze your inner thighs before placing a soft kiss there. Your mouth hung open in shock before you came to your senses. You quickly covered your gasp with a cough.

The others joined in and you couldn't be more grateful. The four of you sat in a coughing fit with Higgins eyeing you all suspiciously.

"What that the noise? The noise I just made. Was that it?" You thought fast.

Eddie's nose prodded at your mound. You suppressed another gasp and slammed your thighs closed around his head to stop him from moving any further. Eddie snapped out of his trance at the sudden pain on either side of his head. He slapped your leg to tap out, and you relaxed your thighs. He moved away from you, rubbing his ringing ears. When you felt him leave, you gave him a deserved kick to the arm. He hissed in pain, but Higgins hadn't heard it.

The Principal scowled. "I didn't catch you this time, but you can bet I will." He pointed a finger at you. "You!"

You tensed.

"I will not be made a fool of."

And with those final words, he stormed from the library.

Everybody held their angelic expressions for a couple beats and then, assured that Higgins was out of earshot, Steve, Nancy, and Robin break into laughter. You shoved your seat back and kicked your legs at Eddie as he scrambled out from under the front of the table. 

"You're such an asshole." 

Eddie tried to keep as serious as he could, but struggled to contain his laughter at your anger. "What?" He asked innocently.

"You know what."

"It was dark under there, it was an accident."

The others seemed to take interest in your spat. They wondered what had Eddie laughing and felt inclined to join in.

"What?" Steve asked.

"None of your business." You slumped back into your chair and crossed your arms, angry and embarrassed.

Eddie saw your wet eyes and soft pouting lips. He started to feel bad. He hadn't meant to upset you.

"I couldn't help it, okay? I'm sorry." 

You refused to look at him. He placed a gentle hand under your chin and guided your eyes to meet. His voice was much softer. "I'm sorry."

You hadn't said it out loud, but Eddie could see the forgiveness in your eyes. You relaxed under his touch, feeling the truth in his words. He smiled tenderly.

"What did you do?" Steve asked again, still hoping for a laugh. 

Eddie had clearly embarrassed you somehow. Steve thought it was only fair to get a few jokes out on you after you and the other girls had made fun at him in the hallway.

"Shut up." Eddie snapped, and the moment was over. 

He held out a hand to Steve who just looked at it in confusion. He reached like he was going to shake Eddie's hand but he slapped it away just before they clasped hands. Eddie looked at him like he was as thick as pig shit. 

"You smoke all my reefer or something? The dope, waistoid. Give it to me."

Steve's eyes lit up at the disclosure, wondering how he had managed to forget. He reached into his pants and tossed the baggie to Eddie, murmuring a 'good riddance' to it under his breath. Eddie sat back next to you and opened the bag on the table. You stared at it in curiosity.

You had never smoked weed before. You had never smoked period. But Billy did. He always tried to force you to smoke it with him, but you refused. It wasn't that you hadn't wanted to do it, it was because Billy wanted you to. It was kind of like when your parents ask you to do something and it immediately puts you off wanting to do it. He'd call you a killjoy, or Miss Priss, which always got under your skin. But what made it worse was that Billy always got horny when he was high. He struggled to contain himself around you, even when you told him no. Luckily, he had never done anything, but you knew it was only a matter of time before he would. 

You knew Eddie wouldn't be like that though. You had never seen him stoned, but there was something about him that told you smoking with Eddie would be okay. He wouldn't pressure you into trying it if you didn't want to, and if you did, that was okay too. Eddie sold weed to people all the time, heavy hitters and noobs alike. He had taught plenty of people how to smoke before. You could try it for yourself, without Billy's untoward provocation. 

He patted his pockets then looks troubled. "Do you have any papers." He asked no one in particular. 

Then with a shake of his head, he answered his own question. "Why would you dinks have papers?"

"You're not smoking in here." Nancy looked fearful.

"Yeah? Watch me."

"If you want to smoke, go back to where you were before. Before you fell through the fucking ceiling." Steve ordered on Nancy's behalf.

Eddie reached over and pretended to click a switch to turn Steve off.

"What can I use for papers?"

"A book?" You suggested.

"What about the smell?" Nancy quizzed.

Eddie regarded her off-handedly. "Take your shoes off, that'll mask the smell."

Nancy's mouth hung open in offence, She knew her feet didn't smell so the insult hadn't wounded her pride too much. But it was still embarrassing none the less. Especially in front of Steve.

Eddie ignored her and turned to you. "Book pages are too thick."

"How about dictionary pages? That paper's real thin."

Eddie looked at you impressed, eyebrows raised and a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth. The look of pride made your stomach flip. You took a great deal of pleasure at his silent praise. He walked over to the dictionary stand. 

"You can't tear up a dictionary." Robin protested. "What if somebody needs a word and you smoked it?"

Eddie ignored her, opened a dictionary and ripped out a random page. He couldn't care less if he had caused someone a minor inconvenience. There was more than one dictionary in the world.

He pointed at Nancy. "Hey Princess, watch that door. This is a police matter if we get caught."

Nancy tensed. She didn't like that idea very much. She swallowed hard. Eddie walked to the back of the library where the comfy chairs were and plonked himself down on one of the bean bags, making himself right at home.

You got up to follow. Steve looked at you completely pissed off at you for encouraging Eddie's behaviour.

"Loosen up." You scoffed.

"I'm not getting my paper written." Nancy sighed to herself.

"You know," you continued, "he's not all that bad. I'm kind of getting used to him."

"You're just bored."

"Why are you acting like this towards me, Steve?" You'd had enough of the way he was talking to you. "I thought we were fine after I apologised."

It was like when you were alone together you were fine, but in front of the others he hated your guts. You thought he had some nerve calling Eddie out at lunch for trying to keep up with his image. He was being such a hypocrite right now.

He scoffed. "It was hardly an apology."

"It was hardly an apology because I had nothing to be sorry for. I told you already what Billy did wasn't my fault."

"I know!" His voice softened. "I know."

Nancy gave him a gentle look, as if urging him to apologise. He sighed in defeat, tracing a finger along the split in his lip. Suddenly it didn't hurt as much anymore. Like holding this grudge over you was a constant reminder of the pain Billy had given him. He knew apologising was the right thing to do. He opened his mouth, but his time was up.

You shook your head in disappointment. You didn't know what you were expecting from him. Perhaps Steve wasn't as nice as you once thought. It was crazy how things had turned out. In the beginning, you thought for sure that this experience would have given you a chance to make amends with Steve, maybe even become friends of some sort. Turned out that you grew apart from Steve and found yourself feeling closer to Eddie. A notion you had never entertained in all your years at Hawkins High.

You walked away before Steve could say another word to you. 

~~~~~

<<<Previous // Next>>>

~~~~~

Taglist: @cruwushes @the-ch0sen-on3 @namelesshumanperson @ali-r3n @cadence73 @munsonssweets @ahoyyharrington @mewchiili @yourdailymemedelivery @httpsunflowers @b-irock @coolglittercornbae @sav12321 @cumslutforaemond @siriuslysmoking @learninglinesintherainn @peaches-roses-sins @lodeddiperrodrick @catherinnn @lilocapoca @minniedreamers @melaninjhs @chaosfrogsonfire @levylovegood @bowsforsienna @rcailleachcola

[pixelblue2016]

[@themissingnumbers - blue (i did end up deciding to do it eheh. also do NOT feel the need to draw this i can't keep things short for the life of me)]

"... Hey."

He isn't sure how he got here. Not sure what he's trying to accomplish. Sure as anything, though- keeping his distance out of hesitation, uncertainty- there's another Blue. Taller. Older. Tired. He stares at the younger boy with an expression that almost seems... Sad.

"Uh... Gods, what do I..."

He rubs the back of his neck, searching for his words.

"I... Heard about you. About this. 'bout what happened. Guess it struck a chord. You're still... young, though- and you've got a good friend up there, it seems."

He glances up at Justine, waving through the screen, before turning his attention back to Pixel.

"I guess I just wanted to... meet ya, y'know? It's not every day you get to see somethin' like your younger- or, older for you- self."

Blue sighs heavily, his expression dropping.

"... I'm sorry about Revvy. I know how hard it is to lose someone you care about so much. For the world to turn against you cus of it. To want to change things so bad, but you're just... powerless. I- I'm glad you've got a real pal, though. I think that... that's somethin' that'll take you far."

Finally, he smiles at the younger boy, eyes lighting up a bit.

"Gods, that's heavy, huh? I guess all to say- I get it, I think. And I'm happy ya got someone there for you. How did you guys become friends? What's the rest of your life been like, uh... Living with her, I guess?"

Blue── Er, well, Pixel, turns around to the source of the voice. He seemed hesitant at first, shoulders rising up to his ears. He never expected another version of himself to visit him, let alone an adult one. He looked so. . . Odd. Pixel couldn't put his finger on it.

As soon as the other greeted Justine though, Pixel felt himself relax more. It seems like this was safe, seeing that the player gave a thumbs up back to Blue.

Pixel listens, thoughts running around, especially when Revvy was mentioned. It's painful to hear his name uttered from someone else, but he can manage it. It's rude to make faces at a guest, so Pixel bites his bottom lip to keep his expression neutral.

“So it's… it's you, right? The um,”

Pixel gestures over to Blue,

“It feels nice that I'm not the only one── I mean! Obviously it's, it's not great but, it's just nice that there's other people like me, I guess? Or are me? This is weird──Not that you're weird!”

He nervously chuckles, he can't help but smile. Taking a step or two closer, the child leans side to side, studying Blue. Super tall, lanky. Pixel wondered if this is what he could have looked like if he were to have grown up someday. Would he have hair like this? Clothes like that?

Would he still have his eye if he didn't…

Ah! A question was directed to him, and he was staring!

“Sorry!”

C'mon, Pix! Be polite! He mumbles, giving out some “um” and “uh” noises as he wiggles his hands,

“It's um, it's nice to see you, first of all sir── sir? I um, I dunno what you call you, sorry── but to answer your question,”

He glanced back at the player, who holds the 3DS patiently. Justine blinks and directs her attention to the bottom screen. Oh whoa, Pixel projected a little drawing down there!

“I wanted to delete my game, and Gramps wanted to also. We talked about it before I talked to Justine about it, but… she really didn't like that idea.

She convinced me that the game doesn't have to be played normally to… function? I think that's the word. But um, yeah. We pretty much talked for a while and it turned into a habit where she'd visit me everyday before she went to school.

She showed me some cool stuff from her world, like other games, some TV shows, and movies. I really um, I really like hanging out with her! She helps me sort out my thoughts about… about the stuff that happened in my game.”

Pixel smiles warmly as he explains. While talking, he lightly rocks on his heels,

“I really am lucky to have someone like her. It makes me sad that some other beings like me and you don't have that kind of a player out there.”

Pixel’s smile alters once he glanced back up to his older self. He gulps, a finger pointing up── no wait, that's rude too. He pulls it back,

“Please let me know if this is rude to ask but um…

Why are your hands . . . Blue?”

[whyarevampiressohot]

Crush

Modern AU Shinobu Kocho x fem reader with elements from Komi Can't Communicate.

Where reader has had a long-term crush on Shinobu but has never been brave enough to talk to her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You looked away quickly as Shinobu's eyes met yours, pretending to focus on your textbook and the teacher's droning. Her gaze burned holes into you, but you refused to look up. It would be the same as admitting that you had been staring at her for the past hour.

You sort of maybe had a gigantic crush on Shinobu Kocho, the class president and the girl sitting a few rows in front of you.

---

"Staring at Kocho-san again?" Mitsuri giggled.

"N-no! Of course not! I'm over her!" you babbled, tearing your gaze away from the purple-haired girl. Mitsuri looked unconvinced, as Nezuko gave you a questioning look.

"I'm serious!" you insisted.

"Well then I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you that she's staring at you too."

You whipped your head around to notice Shinobu turning away. Nezuko let out an impatient snort as you turned red to the tips of your ears. She nudged you and pointed in Shinobu's direction.

"No. I'm not going," you stated firmly.

"Mmph!" Nezuko huffed, still pointing.

"Y/N, you've never even talked to her! If you did, you'd realize that she likes you back!" Mitsuri sighed.

"I don't want to embarrass myself."

"Don't come crying if she's taken, then."

---

You were determined to keep your crush a secret to the grave. Shinobu would never agree to go out with you anyway.

For now, you were content with quick glances at your crush.

---

"Ugh...we're finally done..." your exhausted classmates groaned, lying on the floor in irregular positions. It was the night before the culture festival.

"Good work," Shinobu said, handing out drinks to everyone. Your fingers grazed hers briefly as she handed you your drink. You flushed at the contact, muttering a quiet 'thank you'.

Her lips curved upwards into a warm smile as she patted your head and winked.

Shinobu left, leaving you stunned and blushing. Was that some kind of hallucination?! Did she just wink and pat your head?!?!

---

The classroom was bustling with activity as the culture festival commenced.

"Y/N san, I'm looking for Tengen. Can you join me?" Shinobu asked.

"Huh? Uh..."

"She'd be happy to help!" Mitsuri interjected, shoving you towards the girl and forgetting to control her strength. You swerved just in time to avoid faceplanting into Shinobu's chest.

"Great! Let's go!" Shinobu chirped, grabbing your arm.

You averted your eyes as she half-dragged you past classrooms.

"We haven't talked much, have we?" Shinobu suddenly asked.

"Yep," you answered, looking around to avoid staring at her.

"Thank you for your hard work preparing for the festival."

"It's no problem. Everyone worked together," you replied slightly sheepishly.

"Oh! A haunted house! Let's check it out!" Shinobu squealed, pulling you in the direction of a dark classroom.

"Huh? Aren't we supposed to be looking for-AHHHHHH!" you screamed, clinging onto Shinobu's arm as a gelatin brick hit the side of your head. You immediately let go, apologizing profusely.

"Sorry, I'm just a little jumpy."

"BOO!" a pale ghost sprang out from behind a rock and howled.

"AHHHHHHH!" you shrieked again. Shinobu giggled.

" 'A little jumpy', Y/N san?" she teased, batting her eyelashes innocently.

Still recovering from the shock, you pressed a hand to your chest, breathing heavily.

"Just a little!"

"Ara~ So cute."

Your heart sped up again, and not because of fear.

---

"Shinobu stopped abruptly in front of a stall selling cute animal headbands.

"Buying something?"

"You'll see."

She picked up a headband with rabbit ears and put in on you. Staring at you, Shinobu seemed to like the look and handed a bit of money to the clerk.

"Here," you took off the headband and handed it to Shinobu.

"It's for you. You look even more adorable with it," she remarked, grinning. A gift from your crush...you felt as if you would die from the sheer happiness you were feeling.

"Thank you...are you sure you don't want me to pay you back?"

"Take it as a thank-you gift for helping me look for Tengen." Shinobu pushed a lock of hair out of your face.

---

"Oooh! They're doing confessions on the roof!" Shinobu immediately dragged you up.

"I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE!" she yelled into the crowd.

Your heart sank.

Thoughts like 'I didn't make a move anyway' and 'I'll get over her' ran through your head as you bit your lip. Part of you wanted to cry, and part of you was curious about who Shinobu's crush could possibly be.

"I'M NOT TELLING YOU WHO IT IS!" she shouted, much to the disappointment and laughs of the crowd.

---

"Y/n san...Y/N san!" Shinobu called as she waved a hand in front of your face.

"...oh! Sorry, I was...um, thinking about something."

"What's making you so dazed?"

"Oh, it's nothing, really...so, um, you said you had a crush?"

A light pink blush dusted Shinobu's cheeks.

"I'm just curious! It's okay if you don't want to answer..."

Shinobu sighed. You were caught slightly off-guard by her unexpected reaction.

"Y/N san, why are you so clueless?"

You just stared at her, bewildered. Was it someone obvious? Someone Shinobu hung around with a lot?

"Um...is it Tomioka-san?"

Shinobu rolled her eyes, making you even more confused.

---

Back in the classroom, you filled your friends in on your conversation with Shinobu.

"She's right, Y/N. You're so oblivious."

"What, how? Who could her crush possibly be?" you questioned, perplexed.

Nezuko snorted and glared at you.

"Well, if you guys know, spill it!"

"It's you, Y/N!"

You stared blankly as their words sank in.

"..."

"ME?!"

[profound-imagination]

Four Years - Fenrys Moonbeam

Y/N and Fenrys had an on again off again relationship from the moment they met in Skull's Bay until the end of the war when she disappeared, four years later he finds her and his peace.

W/C: 2K

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

"Y/N?" You froze, you'd know that voice anywhere, Fenrys. The male that owned more of you than he was even aware of. Your heart kicked in your chest as you scanned the windows of your little cottage before turning to face him. "Hello, Fenrys." His face broke out into that dazzling smile of his as he rushed towards you, sweeping you into his arms and spinning you around. "I can't believe I found you." He breathed into your hair. "You've been this close the whole time." You cringed. "You've been looking for me?" You asked him, praying the cottage door stayed closed. "Of course I have, since the moment I knew you'd left." You studied his face. "Four years? You've been looking for me for four years?" You breathed out, your lungs felt like they weren't working and your heart was racing. You'd longed for him every night, in the darkness of your room, by the time morning rolled around you'd convinced yourself leaving was the correct thing.

"Can we talk?" He asked, you'd never really seen him unsure of himself, not when you were concerned. "About what?" He couldn't come into the cottage, that you would not allow. "Why you left? Why you ran from me?" His eyes betrayed him and showed you exactly how much you had hurt him by leaving. It was the right thing to do, he deserved better than what you could give him. "It was the right thing to do, the war was over, it was time to move on, find somewhere to settle." He flinched. "I'd have come with you-" You cut him off, "I couldn't let you do that." His face was full of confusion. "Little one, I'd have followed you anywhere." He told you gently as he cupped your face, wiping a tear from your cheek that you hadn't even realised had fallen. "What happened that scared you so much that you ran from me?" You were about to open your mouth, lie to him, tell him you'd met someone else during the war, but the cottage door swung open and you were cut off, "Mama!"

Fenrys froze, withdrew his hand from your cheek, then tensed, his eyes shot over your shoulder, taking in the little blonde girl running towards you. "Mama?" He all but whispered, there was no denying it, so you nodded. "Yes." The little girl skidded to a stop next to you and thrust her hand towards Fenrys. "I'm Freya!" She grinned a toothy grin at him. Fenrys shot you another look before he sank to his knees and took her hand, and kissed it like the courtier he is, "It's lovely to meet you, Miss Freya, I'm Fenrys." She gasped at him, "That's like my name!" He chuckled at her, "It sure is!" She smiled up at him. "Are you a friend of my Mama's?" She asked, "I am, your mama is very important to me." She raised an eyebrow at him, "She is?" He nodded, "Yes, she is." She looked between you and Fenrys, debating the new information that she'd just received, Fenrys studied her while she did, the hair, the eyes, her name, his eyes met yours in a silent question that you didn't get time to answer as Freya had finished appraising the two of you and tugged on his hand, "Tea!" She let go of his hand and ran back into the cottage. "I guess you're invited for tea." You told him quietly.

Fenrys stood, "Freya?" He asked, grasping your wrist to stop you from walking away from him. "Yes, Freya, that's her name." You answered, not meeting his eyes. "How old is she, Y/N?" Still not looking at him, you shrugged, "It's not important." He placed two fingers under your chin and he gently directed your eyes to his, "Yes it is, Y/N, she's mine isn't she? That's why you left?" Taking a shaky breath, you let the tears fall, "You deserved more, you'd just won a war and gained your freedom and I couldn't shackle you to me like that." He let out a breath "Shackled?" You nodded, "You'd been through so much Fenrys, the trauma from Maeve, what happened to Connall, Aelin's torture, Gavriel's death, you needed to heal, you needed to be free and I knew if I told you that you would've done the honourable thing and you'd have married me and taken us both on, it wasn't fair." He scoffed, "So it was fair for me to lose you and not know why? To look for you for four years, to find you only to learn I've missed the birth of my daughter? The first, what, three and a half years of her life?" You tensed as you heard a smash in the house and a quiet "Oops." You pulled your wrist from his hand, "Can we talk about this later please? When she's asleep? Your daughter wants to have tea, will you join us?" His eyes roamed your face once more and he nodded and followed you into the house.

To say Freya was besotted with Fenrys was an understatement, in the course of one afternoon she'd absolutely fallen in love with him and he her. You knew already, despite the fact you kept her from him, he wouldn't be kept away from her anymore, he'd dote on her and he'd never let her want for anything. You watched them through the kitchen window, chasing each other in the garden. Freya couldn't believe her eyes when Fenrys had taken her outside and turned into a wolf before her. She'd spent half an hour sitting on his back as he ran around the garden with her as she shrieked with delight. Now back as a male he chased her and threw her up in the air every time he caught her. Sighing, you turned away from the window, questioning the decision you had made for the first time. He looked more alive now playing with Freya than you'd ever seen him, but then you hadn't seen him in the last four years.

Fenrys stayed for dinner, he looked surprised by your invitation but he graciously accepted and ate with one hand as the other was keeping Freya balanced on his lap. You'd asked her to sit in her own chair and she'd refused, Fenrys certainly wasn't about to ask her to move so you picked your battle, fight with the child about where she sat for dinner, or fight the bigger fight of getting her to go to bed and leave Fenrys. You chose the latter, deciding you didn't have the energy for both and then the conversation that was bound to happen with Fenrys once she was asleep.

Conversation flowed surprisingly easy between the two of you over dinner, he told you of Aedion and Lysandra's wedding, and their baby boy whom they'd named after Gavriel. He told you about Lorcan and Elide who were happily married and had their own babe on the way and of the three children Rowan and Aelin had been blessed with. Chaol and Yrene had a girl, she'd roughly be the same age as Freya and Dorian had finally convinced Manon to marry him. By the time he finished you had tears in your eyes and he was holding your hand across the table, dinner forgotten. "Sad, mama?" Freya's tired little voice asked you, "No baby, mama is happy that her friends got their happy endings." The little girl smiled at you softly and snuggled herself further into Fenrys' chest and yawned.

"I should put her to bed." You said as you wiped your eyes and stood, he looked down at the little girl curled into his chest, "Can I…I mean…would it be alright if-" You smiled at him softly. "Fenrys, would you like to put her to bed?" He gave you a small smile back, "Thank you." You nodded at him, "Top of the stairs, end of the hallway, I'll make some tea, I guess we should talk." He nodded this time. "Don't forget, Wolfie." You added, he lifted an eyebrow and you handed him a stuffed wolf teddy from the side. It was white, just like he was. "I made sure you were around, in small ways." He said nothing as he headed up the stairs and you couldn't help the galloping in your chest at how domestic it all was, at how this was what you had always dreamed of with him.

You hovered nervously at the bottom of the stairs, listening to the low rumble of Fenrys' voice as he told Freya a story as she'd requested, your heart cracked when you realised he was telling her the story of the two of you, he'd made you a princess and he was a knight, cursed to work for the evil queen. He trailed off halfway through, she must've fallen asleep. "Goodnight, little love." You heard him speak lowly, "Have the most wonderful dreams, I'm here now, I'll keep you and your mama safe, always." You heard Freya's bedroom door close and you threw yourself back into the kitchen and into a chair at the table, where you'd already made tea and had sliced some pieces of cake you'd made that afternoon while they played.

"Is that lemon cake?" Fenrys asked as he took the seat opposite you, "You told me once it was your favourite, so I made it while you played with Freya this afternoon." His smiles were still clipped but he gave you one nonetheless, "It still is." You put a piece on a plate and pushed it towards him. "You didn't have to do this on your own, Y/N. I would've been there, I would've wanted to be there." You nodded slowly. "It's going to sound ridiculous, but I wanted you to want me for me, not because I was carrying your child. I didn't want you to stay with me for the baby, so I left. I wanted you to be able to live, Fen, to have a life and your freedom." He leveled you with a look, "You were my life! Hell, you still are, I've looked for you for four years!" You shrank into your chair. "I can never make up for what I did, in keeping her from you, and you from her, I convinced myself it was the right thing to do and I was wrong. I'm sorry Fenrys. I should've told you, I was scared, I was 23 and pregnant and I let the fear win." He took a deep breath, "I'm not going to argue with you, it's done, we can't change it, but I need you both in my life, do you understand that, there was something I should've told you as well, I was going to the night you left, we're mates, you and I, my soul belongs to you and yours to me. I will not be kept away from either of you anymore."

"Come back to the castle with me? Freya has cousins that will adore her, you have friends that miss you, plus, out of all the kids, we made the cutest one and I need to rub that in Rowan and Aedion's faces." You let out a tearful laugh, "I never stopped loving you, Fen." He smiled, properly this time, "I know, little one." You smiled back at him, "We'll come with you." Fenrys stood from his chair and walked round the table to you and pulled you in his arms. "We'll pack up what you need and leave in a few days, I want some interrupted time with my girls first." You smiled up at him, "We can tell her tomorrow, that your her father, if you want." A little gasp pulled both of your attention to the stairs. "Daddy?" Fenrys crouched so he was at her level. "Yes, little love, I'm your daddy, is that okay?" She beamed his own smile at him and ran into his open arms.

[romanoffsbish]

Love is a Learning Curve

Past! Kate Bishop x GN!R

Yelena Belova x GN!R

Love is a Dagger (P1)

The long awaited P2 I was never going to give, but people wanted closure to the angst I guess 😂 | WC: 3,638

Kate woke up with a start, her body flopped back into the mattress regretfully, her arm covered her eyes to lessen the throbbing ache in her head. The blinds being open the root of the issue as the sun permeated into her already sensitive eyes. Drinking the night away was once an easy feat for the archer, but the closer she gets to the middle of her twenties the more she'd noticed it's losing its flair for fun.

——

Stumbling ungraciously out of bed she made her way to the bathroom and made herself a bit more human by taking a shower and getting dressed for work. Then she made her way downstairs to find nothing to eat, it threw her off because normally you'd have filled her up a thermos, and made her something to go, but she only shrugs, and rushes out the door to make sure she now had time to stop for a bite.

It wasn't all that strange an occurrence, on the rare occasion you did miss the opportunity to prepare her for her day, so she thought nothing of it, you were likely running late, and she assumed that had something to do with her partying last night so she didn't mind at all.

Her day flew by without any messages from you either, but she never checked them much anyway so she didn't notice. It wasn't until her phone rang on her way out of the office that she knew something must've been up.

"Hello?" she answered with slight hesitation, unsure on as to why the blonde was exactly calling her. "Kate Bishop, it's Yelena."

"Hey, yeah what can I do for you Yelena?"

"Are you coming to pick up Lucky?"

Kate's brows furrowed, because yes, technically Friday was her day to collect the dog from Belova's Doggy Daycare, but usually you just willingly picked up her slack. "Where's Y/N?"

The question was more so a thought she was having that ended up directed at Yelena, who simply cleared her throat, a sure sign that she knew something was up, but didn't wish to say.

"Yelena..." she was more desperate this time, and the blonde sighed, "Told me they were not going to be able to pick him up today, but I saw some suitcases and boxes in their car Kate."

"Oh."

"Yeah, they said today was your day to get him, but I guess it must've just slipped your mind," Yelena said with a nervous chuckle to follow, it was clear as day to the blonde that you just left your mutual friend without so much as a word shared, and though a part of her is rooting for you for finally putting yourself first for once, the other feels bad for the raven haired girl who's likely biting back tears at the news.

"Here, how about I take him home with me tonight. It's been awhile since him and Fanny had a playdate anyways."

"Thanks Lena, I'll get him in the morning."

That night Kate ordered in, and nursed a bottle of red wine until the buzz lulled her to sleep. When she awoke the following morning to find you'd yet to return her rose colored glasses fell.

Her strained eyes began to study the living room, and as she took it in she found any piece of you she once had was gone. All that had remained was a cherished framed photo of you, her and Lucky at Fanny's first birthday party.

Kate was racking her brain for a reason, anything she could come up with besides the glaring truth that she just didn't want to face. For the last year she'd been taking your love for granted, and it's true what they say: you don't know what you have until it's gone, and now she's just meant to live on like you don't exist.

The note you hid in your dresser drawer said just that when she stumbled up to your room.

"Dear Kit-Kat,

I'm sorry I couldn't face you, but it's best for us that I left without a trace. There's nothing left for us, you don't love me anymore, and I have held on to delusion for as long as I am willing.

If I had approached you I know you'd have tried to tell me I was wrong, that you did still love me, because your heart is too soft, and I would've clung to that hope until it failed me.

Love is a perilous thing really; I don't regret our journey, but I do regret staying this long. It's about time I set off to find what's out there for a loner like me, and for that reason I have disconnected my phone and gone off the grid.

I'll love you forever Kit-Kat, and I hope you are able to find someone who makes you happy, and who'll share their last slice with Lucky."

Kate's tears soaked through the crumpled paper, messy lines of blue ink began to run, distorting the message of half truths. Reading it hurt her tremendously, seeing that she'd made you believe she'd been stringing you along out of obligation, and not out of love was hard to read. It wasn't true, right? She loved you with all of her heart, but yet she took your presence for granted, and now she's all alone.

You actually left her (Just like she'd left you).

—

The archer had been neglecting her work for months as she scoured all over the city for you. Nothing was available to help her. You were apparently an expert at disappearing, because there wasn't a single trace of you anywhere.

It was pathetic really, she ran the most well known security and surveillance company around and yet she couldn't track you down.

With time, Kate realized that you were right.

The love she had for you faded until it was nothing more than words you say to protect the others feelings, but it also hadn't completely died. Kate was desperate to find you, to atone for all that she'd done to you by using you as her personal assistant instead of her lover.

Even if she lost touch with you, she knew that what she did likely distorted your view on love. The girl couldn't live with herself if she just left you to think that love is only a hopeless cause.

When things were young, and fresh it was like magic, and she wanted you to remember that. To look passed her betrayal, and the feelings of inadequacy she left behind in the hollowed heart that hardly beat in your chest anymore.

She needed you to know that her love for you might’ve devolved into the platonic, as is the case when people grow, but it’s still there In enough of a capacity that she won’t give up.

Kate was a mess, and in a way you were too.

You thought that getting a cottage out in the beautiful countryside of Norway was the way to go. Far away from the life you once lived, and the perfect place to enjoy your solitude. Then the loneliness set in against your will, and so you'd set off to find a furry companion.

At the shelter you saw a young pup that'd taken a liking to the elderly cat. He'd yap in her ear, and she'd purr in response, it was clear her ears were not functioning well anymore. You decided two for the price of one was great.

Simon showered you with love and affection whenever you entered the home, even if you'd only stepped out to get the mail. Then Posey, when she felt like jumping, would meet you in bed to cuddle and purr against your chest.

It worked, but only as a mask for the problem at hand really. Your foolish heart longed for a love like you'd once known. One full of passion and joy over the loveless mess it had become.

Still, you persisted and lived as if nothing was wrong. That was until Yelena had found you, and damn near broke your door off it's hinges.

"Y/N Y/L/N!" She shouted loud enough that you'd left the security of your room, blanket around your shoulders as you'd just woken up at her unexpected, rather rude interruption.

"How did you find me?" You groaned, and she ignored your question, opting to scour through your cabinets until she found some glasses. “Better yet, how did you even get inside?”

Yelena barked a laugh, insinuating that your question was ridiculous. Then she briskly swung her arm around and handed you a glass that was far too full of booze for a morning sip.

"It's nice to see you too, now drink the vodka, we have lots to discuss my dear old friend."

Yelena told you all about Kate's demise, and it broke your heart into pieces thinking she was actually this torn up about your departure. Then you remembered she relied on you to change her clothes some nights and the ache from being used had returned even stronger.

"If that's all, I think you should be going."

“Y/N, she wants you to come home.”

“This is my home Yelena, the only one I’ve ever known. Feel free to tell her that when you go back and offer her my location. Now go.”

You were being harsh with her, you knew that and most of you regretted it, but you also felt like you were being backed into a corner. As if Kate’s problems were always going to be yours.

“I understand leaving her, you deserved better, we all told you that.” Yelena pondered aloud, her voice uncharacteristically small. “But leaving all together? That was hard to stomach, I lost both of my closest friends in the blink. You off grid, and Kate to her grief. When is it enough passed on pain for you to forgive her?”

You went to lash out, to try and get her to see it from your end, but then you saw her hand shake as she gulped down the rest of her bitter vice without ever looking up. Not that she needed to, you could hear the sniffle she failed to cover up with the scuffing of her boots.

“I didn’t think I would be missed,” you softly admitted, your ties to Yelena, and the rest were through the connection of Kate. Never a part, only ever an extension of the friend group.

Or at least that’s what you had always thought.

“I felt your absence immediately,” she voiced though her voice quivered. “Your visit at the kennel every day was what made me smile.”

“I-.”

“There was no more happiness with you gone.”

The way she spoke made your heart warm with an affection you felt was foreign for her. There had never been any indication that she wanted you, or that you meant that much to her before.

“Yelena, what are you doing?” You stumbled back into the wall when you saw her rise to her feet faster than necessary. Her body out of her control, and under the influence of alcohol led her to stumble until she caged your body in.

“I wanted you first.” You were shocked to see the honesty in her eyes, booze goggles or not she was being sincere and you felt an urge to kiss her lips as they pouted familiarly. It was a common expression of hers whenever you’d have to go, you always thought it was for Lucky since she loved the retriever so much, but a part of you always wondered if it meant more.

But you had Kate… Even now, you had her to consider. “Lena, w-we can’t,” you stuttered as her cold hand held your face. “I understand.”

Before she could pull away with her wrong assumptions you wrapped your arms around her waist and buried your face into the crook of her neck. Yelena would never deny you comfort, not even when you just shattered her heart, so she hugged you back rather tightly.

“You’re going to be okay Y/N,” she whispered in her thick Russian accent, and your hammering heart felt like it was about to burst at the offered tenderness. “I’m here for you.”

You pulled away and cupped her cheeks with a teary smile, eyes shining with appreciation. Your lips pressed to her cheeks, and she looked at you utterly confused when your eyes met.

“I was saying, we can’t do this… yet.” Yelena’s eyes went wide and you kept your smile. “I can’t let you kiss me when I’m still trying to forgive Kate, it wouldn’t be fair to any of us.” Yelena’s heart beamed, the notion that all you felt for Kate now was a tainted love in need of a life altering cleansing made her hopeful.

“So you’ll come home?” You shook your head and wore a broken smile, fear encasing your heart as you realized you couldn’t do that. “I’ve built a life here Lena, I have space for you, but I can’t return to the stagnation of the states.”

“No, I know that,” Yelena refuted. “I just mean to make the amends with Kate Bishop, and to collect my things and Fanny who’s at Kate’s.”

“Does she know you’re here?” She shook her head. “No, but I think she knows deep down.”

“What about the kennel?” Yelena shrugged, and smiled wide. “I’ve got nothing in the states worth living for if you’re not by my side.”

“Then I will agree to a half day in New York.”

Yelena squealed and you cupped your ears while glaring in her direction playfully.

“I’ll be back for you in the morning then Y/N! We have Tony’s private jet, and Happy’s at the hotel I’m going to be staying at tonight.”

“You’ll do no such thing, I have a guest room. I’ll just have to clean it of the cat hair since I don’t usually have other humans over.”

“You sound like you’re an alien,” she laughed, then began to head to the door to collect her bag, and that’s when it dawned on you. “How’d you find me?” Yelena stood in the doorway with a knowing smirk on her face, and tossed her thumb backwards to the people outside.

“I guess we’re sharing a bed then,” you mused while waving back to the grinning redheads. Of course, she involved the FBI’s hottest couple.

—

The following morning came with butterflies fluttering beneath the pads of fingertips that lightly pressed into the skin that your crumpled up night shirt had left exposed. Yelena’s body was pressed into yours so tight you were sure there’d be a layer of sweat amongst the fabric.

“Good morning pretty one,” Yelena rasped, her voice thick with sleep, and Russian inflections. The butterflies must’ve began a rave because you could hardly focus on anything but the way that her simple words made your stomach flip. “Goor morning darling, are you hungry?”

“I’ll make breakfast,” she announced, body scrambling for the door, but fortunately for the sake of your cottage Wanda was there with a teasing smile and greasy spatula. “No need Miss. burns houses down while making eggs.”

“It was one time!” Natasha snorted from a far away room, “Yeah, one time too many! Mama was so mad about it that she moved back to Russia the second you turned eighteen.”

Yelena turned back towards you and ran into your open arms. You could feel her pout against your skin, and for a second you were imagining her firmly kissing the skin instead.

“They are so mean. I am happy to leave.”

“We’ll visit them,” you answered the silent question, as sarcastic as she was, you knew that her sisterly love for Natasha was unbreakable. The same could be said in reverse, those two have been inseparable since you first met them.

“Okay, thank you.” You ran a hand up and down her back for a few seconds, then the sound of your rumbling tummy brought you both to the dining area where the food was still piping hot. “You two could move in as well.”

Natasha threw you a glance that said she’d do it in a heartbeat, but Wanda was less inclined seeing as their kids, and Pietro were in the city.

“We’ll visit, I promise,” was all she offered, then silence followed as you all got ready to go, and made your way to the airport. Once on the jet you chose to lean against the blonde, and take a nap to silence the screams of your mind.

At the airport you hugged the couple goodbye, and let Natasha threaten you as any good big sister would when you were taking her little sister across borders after one day of being sort of involved. The redhead knew that she could trust you, it’s not like you were strangers, but she was also the one who once held a crying Yelena when you fled the country, and once prior when Kate asked you to be hers first.

Once the lot of you parted ways Yelena drove you over to Kate’s. You told her to go get her stuff, and though she was hesitant she knew you had to do this part all on your own.

You knocked on the familiar door, it was a hair too light as your fist had stalled mid thrust. It still managed to gather the woman’s attention though because it swung open before you could even begin to knock again. Kate’s body crashed into yours, and you reflexively caught her and held her as she cried loudly into your chest.

Without a moment’s hesitation you brought your conjoined bodies back over her threshold and guided her onto her couch. Kate wanted to hold on, but you left no room for her to try. A moment of comfort was all you could spare, and she knew it was selfish to expect more.

It was silent, Kate stared at you as you sat in the recliner you’d had to swipe debris from.

“I’m sorry.” You pursed your lips, humming a low tune as you absorbed her empty words.

“For who?” Kate flinched at your response, it’d been ages since she last heard your voice, and the chill it carried now was heartbreaking.

“You,” her lower lip trembled, and your anger softened a smidge at her obvious remorse.

“If I’d realized what I was doing, I wouldn’t have ever let it get so far that you felt like you had to run away from your entire life.”

“I didn’t run away from my life, I happily left yours Kate. Nothing about tending to your every whim was a life I ever dreamed up. Did you ever consider that the only thing I was running away from was you? That life with you had become so difficult that I had no choice but to drop off the face of the Earth and retire?”

“You are making it seem like I ordered you around,” she bit back, a bit offended by the animosity you’re throwing. “You willing fell into a role that never should’ve been. You were my partner, I know what I did was fucked up, but I would never have hurt you on purpose. Let’s not forget that you never said anything. Just left me a note one day and vanished.”

Silence fell as you were faced with the other side of the truth. You stayed and lived with the hurt of being forgotten, but in another turn you never fought to be seen either. Literally, there was never even a discussion, you just handled business separately, and cared for her wholly.

A relationship without communication is nothing more than two bodies out of sync.

“You’re right,” your tense shoulders deflated, and tears that fell from your eyes were wiped away by a gruff tongue trying to comfort you. “Hey Lucky boy, how have you been?”

“He misses you.”

You pet him for a very long time, trying your best to calm your nerves before you were to face her again in the less tumultuous light.

“I still love you Y/N, no longer romantically, but there’s still so much of me that loves you.”

Her words of a love never lost were actually comforting, hitting a nerve that very well would’ve been catastrophic just a day prior.

“I’ll love you forever Kit,” you gazed into her eyes, and smiled warmly, “You taught me so much, and when it was good there was no questioning that love had a purpose in life. I hope you find someone worth remembering.”

With your peace found you stood up, and, and pulled her into a strong embrace. The two of you swayed for a few seconds, then you pulled away and headed for the door.

“I’ll never forget you Y/N, I’m sorry I ever did.”

Kate watched as you picked up a green leash, and her mind caught up fast. “I hope you two are happy together. Invite me to the wedding please, I wouldn’t want to miss such a joy.”

You smiled to yourself while hooking the leash to Fanny, and left the apartment with a final lighthearted comment. “I’ll try not to forget.”

Kate smiled too, and fell back onto her couch.

There’s no one right way to love someone else, but you both knew that near the end of things you only loved the other in shades of wrong. As you drove back to the airport, your hand in another’s you realized that giving up was never the answer, but at the time it was necessary.

Love is a twisted game, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win, but no matter what, either outcome came with a journey of life lessons.

——

[helloalycia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] // 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐤

summary: after accidentally exposing your vulnerable side to Alicia, you fear you've crossed the line and can't go back on your feelings for her – and you're not sure you want to.

warning/s: mentions of death, blood, injury and weapons.

author's note: i think you’ll like this chapter haha, hope whoever requested this one does at least anyway! ♥️

one / two / four / masterlist / wattpad

When Alicia and I returned to the ranch the next day, I knew there was a shift in dynamic between us. Last night had brought us closer, especially since we fell asleep together, and I didn't hate it. Mostly, I was grateful for her company, but it also scared me a little. Growing closer with her meant my feelings were only intensifying, and that meant I was getting attached. I couldn't take losing someone else I cared for, so this was a dangerous game to play.

And yet I played it just a little longer. It would have been rude of me not to acknowledge what she'd done for me, how she'd been there for me. So, when I had the time, I picked some flowers, making her a bouquet – a little thank you for helping me – and left them in a vase on the doorstep of her family's cabin. As I left them there, hoping to avoid confrontation, footsteps behind me startled me and I spun around, embarassed.

"Er, hey."

It was Nick, Alicia's older brother.

"Erm, hi," I spoke awkwardly, offering a matching smile. We'd only spoken a few times on occasion, so it was still pretty odd between us.

His eyes fell to the vase behind me. "You good? You need something? Alicia's not here."

I cleared my throat uncomfortably. "Yes, I'm aware. Sorry, this was supposed to be– never mind. I was just– the flowers are for Alicia. They're a thanks for her helping me out with something yesterday. That's all."

He nodded slowly, definitely confused. "Nice. Okay, I'll let her know."

Letting out a breath, I smiled. "Great. I'll leave you to it."

As I was about to walk away, he stopped me and asked, "Are you and Alicia, like–? Y'know?"

I quirked a brow. "Like what?"

He studied my expression, confused, before shaking his head. "Never mind... You're friends, right? You hang out a lot."

"I guess so, yeah," I answered, visibly confused. "Why? Did she say something?"

"Say something?"

"Yeah, like did she say something about it?" I asked, wondering why he was asking a question with such an obvious answer.

He glanced at the flowers then shook his head. "No. Why? Did you expect her to say something?"

I tilted my head to the side, baffled by the direction of the conversation. "No... never mind. See you around, Nick."

"See you later," he returned with a nod, before shaking his head and taking the flowers inside.

I walked away, wondering what on earth that encounter was, before thinking about Alicia and hoping she'd like them.

That same evening, I was putting together a tray for dinner when I felt someone standing too close to my left. I looked up and realised it was Alicia, and she was smiling so softly that it made my heart skip a beat.

"Hey," she said, gaze holding mine. "I've been looking for you. I wanted to say thanks for the flowers."

I didn't know what to say, my brain short circuiting at how close she was standing to me.

"You could've just given them to me in person," she added, tilting her head playfully.

"It's no biggie," I said as coolly as I could.

Her smile began to widen with amusement, eyes twinkling. "You're no good at talking about your feelings, are you?"

I pressed my lips together awkwardly as she laughed at my dismay, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Never mind that," she said, thankfully. "You wanna sit with Ofelia and I?"

I nodded slightly. "Sure. I'll be with you in a minute. Just let me tell my dad."

She chewed on her lip as she nodded, her smile sure to stun me into silence forever, and then she walked away with her dinner tray.

Well, this crush thing didn't seem to be going away anytime soon.

"Hey, dad, d'you know where Ofelia is?" I asked, finding him by the pantry.

He glanced up from a clipboard he was holding, probably taking inventory. "Hm? I think she said something about feeding the horses, dear."

"Thanks!"

I took a leisurely stroll to the stables with a bag of clothes in hand, the ones Ofelia wanted me to patch some holes in. It was nice out today, albeit a little warm, with the sun shining down and giving everyone a reason to be outside.

Eventually, I spotted Ofelia at the stables, though she was holding the reins to a horse outside of them, talking to Alicia. I tried to ignore the way my heart rate increased slightly at the sight of the Clark girl, telling myself it wasn't a big deal that she was there, too. We were friends and I was grateful for her presence in my life, but this crush of mine wasn't going away in the slightest.

Every time I was around her, I tried to play it cool, but it was beginning to get impossible to stop my hands from growing clammy and my brain to stop functioning. At the same time, I couldn't distance myself from her because I liked the way she made me feel. I enjoyed talking to her, and I especially enjoyed the way she would give me all of her attention when she was with me. It made me feel foolishly important to her, and I didn't want to trade it for the world.

It terrified me.

As I approached them, Alicia spotted me first, her green eyes shining bright and matching her smile when she waved at me. I waved back, but my heart was already racing. Ofelia paused from her conversation and did the same when she saw me.

"Hey," I greeted them with a small smile, before holding the bag towards Ofelia. "Patched those holes up for you, Ofelia."

"Yes, thank you!" she said gratefully, accepting the bag and looking inside before pulling me in for a quick hug. "I owe you."

I waved a hand dismissively, knowing she didn't, then glanced at the horse. "What are you guys up to?"

"Ofelia here won't teach me how to ride a horse," Alicia answered, shooting her an unimpressed look. "I'm trying to convince her otherwise."

Ofelia raised her hands in defeat. "I've told you a million times, Alicia, I'm a shit teacher. And I can barely ride one properly myself."

"Ofelia, c'mon!" Alicia tried to convince her lightheartedly.

"Y/N, why don't you teach her?" Ofelia looked to me, making me quirk a brow. "You're more patient than I am. And you kinda taught me, didn't you?"

I blinked. "I– er–"

"You can ride a horse too?!" Alicia asked me with surprise. "Of course you can. Right, now you have to teach me."

I sighed, glancing at my watch. "I don't know. I said I'd help–"

"Please," she begged, hands on my arm as she gave me a pleading look. "I'm a quick learner, swear."

I couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked. It was impossible to deny her. "Fine," I gave in, making her grin.

"Yes!" she muttered, before saying to Ofelia, "Thanks for nothing."

Ofelia rolled her eyes playfully before giving me the reins to the horse. "She's all yours. The horse too."

I laughed as Alicia glared at her when she walked away. Stroking the horse's head, I smiled before looking to the eager Clark girl before me.

"Okay, let's start with the basics, yeah?" I said, holding out my hand. "Give her a stroke, go on."

Alicia stepped forward, placing her hand in mine, and I placed it gently on the horse's head, starting her off. She began to smile as she relaxed, stroking her fur.

"She's cute," Alicia commented, glancing at me. "She got a name?"

"Not that I know," I said, watching her with admiration. "She's one of the ranch's horses, not ours."

Alicia hummed, attention back on the horse, and I forced myself to look away from her before she caught on.

"Okay, we'll start with mounting the horse and then dismounting, sound good?" I said to her after a moment.

"Whatever you say, Miss Y/L/N," she said, purposely teasing me.

"Don't be an ass," I warned her, but a smile was ghosting my lips nonetheless.

We spent the next half an hour together, with me attempting to teach her how to grow comfortable around the presence of a horse. She got as far as riding around the field in circles at a slow trot, but nothing more than that because she didn't trust herself to do more.

"Okay, this is a lot more tiring than I realised," she admitted when I helped her dismount and she jumped off beside me.

I hid my smile as I said, "What did you think would happen? That you'd be galloping around the place in two minutes?"

She quirked a brow. "Er, yeah?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "C'mon, Alicia, it takes practice."

She sighed dramatically, crossing her arms and watching the horse. "I won't give up. But we're definitely done for today."

I shrugged, stroking the horse's mane. "Suit yourself. I think you did pretty good though."

She nudged me in the side. "Thanks. Now, are you gonna take me on a horse ride or do I have to take your word for it that you know how to ride this thing?"

Again, I tried not to laugh as I glanced at her. "You think I'm lying?"

She challenged me with a smile. "Maybe."

"Wow." I rolled my eyes playfully, before mounting the horse and patting her back. "You coming or what?"

Alicia grinned and I held out my hand, helping her up on the horse. Getting comfortable behind me, she suddenly wrapped her arms around my waist and I felt goosebumps all over my skin, even in the heat. Dismissing the feeling of it all, I glanced over my shoulder.

"You secure back there?"

She nodded in my back. "You got one shot to impress me, Y/L/N."

I cracked a small smile, nerves disappearing for a moment, before facing forward and grabbing the reins. With a slight move of my foot and wrist, we were off, initially at a slow walk which then transformed into a gentle gallop. Alicia's arms tightened slightly as we moved a little faster, but she didn't tell me to stop, so I kept at the same pace for a bit.

"Okay, this is really fun," she admitted joyfully, looking around the field. "How don't you do this all the time?"

"As much as I'd love to gallop around a field all day, I have other responsibilities," I joked, before glancing back. "Want me to go faster?"

"You can do that?"

"Obviously," I said knowingly. "Only if you're comfortable."

I could feel her smiling against my back as her hands tightened slightly. "Do it."

With a suppressed smile, I began to ride faster, feeling lightweight as the horse galloped at full speed around the field. Alicia yelped, grip squeezing me more, before she began to laugh, and that was when I knew it was okay. Her laughter filled me with a warmth that I only ever felt around her, and I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything else. It was perfect.

Eventually, I returned to the stables and we slowed down, coming to a halt outside them.

"You okay?" I checked in with her, glancing behind me.

She was grinning. "Are you kidding me? That was awesome!"

I smiled, dismounting the horse before holding my hands out for her to grab. She accepted them and let me help her off, her hair all dishevelled from the ride, only serving to make her look more beautiful.

"I take back what I said," she gushed, "that was insane. You were so good! You've gotta help me get that good."

I chuckled. "I will, I promise. You'll get there eventually, Alicia."

She laughed, licking her lips and glancing from the horse to me. We were both on cloud nine, adrenaline coursing through us from the ride, and I didn't notice how close we were stood to one another until I spotted the ethereal gold flecks in her irises, and the stunning laugh lines around her smile, and the softness of the slope of her nose, and– god, was she always this pretty?

Of course she was. I'd always known it, I just never wanted to admit it. But right here, right now, I was mesmerised, and I couldn't seem to move away. But I didn't need to because she took me by surprise, her eyes flickering between mine, smile fading as she looked to my lips. Eyes meeting mine once more, she closed her own and leaned forward, lips pressing to mine.

They were as soft and delicate as they looked. I closed my eyes, melting into her in seconds, nothing making sense except for the feeling of her against me. It was as if every part of me was weighed down and as soon as she kissed me, my insides shot up into the sky like fireworks. I couldn't stop, intoxicated already, my hand creeping up her neck and hers curling around my waist.

I wanted this, and so did she, but this was insane. What the hell was I doing?

I pulled apart suddenly, flushed and embarrassed and stressed. When she saw my expression, her smile faded.

"Wait–"

"That shouldn't have happened," I cut her off, letting go and taking a step back.

She licked her lips and I cursed inwardly at how easily my eyes followed it. "Y/N–"

"I just realised I said I'd help Ofelia with something," I lied terribly, but needing an excuse to leave. "Sorry."

My head was spinning as I walked away, mortified. How could I give in so easily?

I should have known Alicia would try to talk things out with me after our kiss – she wasn't as emotionally immature as I was, clearly – but I tried to avoid her at every cost. She'd look for me in my cabin, where I'd get my dad to tell her I wasn't there, or if it was in the evening, he'd tell her I was already asleep. Of course, that led to the conversation with him of why I was avoiding her, and I had to lie saying it was a minor thing, but he definitely didn't believe me.

It was easier not to talk about it – ever again, if I had it my way. Liking her was one thing, but the thought of her liking me back? And the possibility of us actually being something more than friends? Absolutely terrifying.

So, I avoided her as much as I could, finding an excuse to leave if she ever approached me whilst doing chores, and then she seemed to get the hint after a few days, giving me some time to cool off.

It was obvious enough to everyone else, the awkwardness between us, since prior to this we'd been glued at the hip. That's why when we were sat in a meeting with my dad, her mum, Jake, Nick and Ofelia, it was brought up.

I was zoning out for the most of the meeting, knowing they were just going over what was going on at the ranch, where we were at with supplies and things like that. But then Madison called my name and I looked up, startled.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I asked, feeling everyone's eyes on me, including the green ones I didn't want to be.

Madison nodded to me and then Alicia. "You and Alicia are gonna go on a supply run. A gas station not far from here."

I sat up straight, about to protest, but Alicia beat me to it, giving her mum a disapproving look.

"Mum, I don't think–"

"It's already been decided," Madison interrupted her, as my father nodded in agreement.

I gave him a questioning look. "Dad, don't you think–"

"You heard Madison," he cut me off with finality.

"Maybe it'll finally fix this rift between you both as well," Madison added quietly, exchanging looks with Alicia.

I raised my eyebrows with disbelief, both embarrassed to be called out and also nervous because the last thing I needed right now was to go on a supply run alone with Alicia.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" I muttered to my dad as he handed me my backpack. "You and Madison."

"Partially," he admitted. "We do need some more gas if you can find it, but also you and Alicia need to solve whatever this petty fight is. There's no time for it, Y/N."

I rolled my eyes in response before shouldering my backpack and approaching the pickup truck outside the front gate of the ranch. Of course, Alicia happened to be doing the same thing and we both reached for the door handle at the same time, our fingers brushing one another. I instantly pulled away, hating that I was already being reminded of the feeling of those same fingers around my waist the other day.

"Sorry, I–"

"It's fine, you can drive," I told her, clearing my throat.

"You sure?" she asked, eyes trying to find mine, but I avoided hers.

"Uh-huh," I agreed awkwardly, before rounding the truck to get into the passenger's seat.

I reminded myself that this was just another job, before putting my seatbelt on and keeping quiet as she got in the truck too. The air was thick with tension, so much that I was forced to roll down the window as she drove us to the gas station. Get in, get out, that was all we had to do.

She parked the truck out front before we both jumped out and made our way to the back of the gas station to find the generator. It was uncomfortably quiet as we located it and prepared to turn it on with some fuel we'd brought with us.

"I'll head inside and turn on the pumps," she finally spoke. "You okay to turn the generator on first?"

I nodded and she left to do just that. After fiddling about with the generator, the gas station finally had enough power to last long enough for us to fill some gas cans, but we had to be quick. I met Alicia back out front and, in more silence, we began to pump gas into some cans we'd brought.

"So, I was thinking and maybe now would be a good time to talk," she suddenly said, breaking the silence. "Unless you were planning to ignore me forever."

I pursed my lips, focusing on the task at hand. "I'd rather not."

I could feel her eyes burning into my face, unimpressed. "Y/N."

I didn't answer, hoping she would take the hint and leave it at that, but she hung up the pump and faced me properly.

"I don't get it," she said tiredly. "I kissed you, yeah, but you kissed me back! It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be–"

"It does!" I interrupted, not meaning to snap. Exhaling slightly, I risked looking up at her, my fear returning. "It is. It is complicated."

Her expression softened as she tried understand. "Why is it? What are you so scared of, Y/N?"

I closed my eyes, looking back down to the gas can in my hand.

"I can't read your mind, although right now I wish I could," she admitted with a sad smile. "Please, tell me."

The struggle in her voice made me feel guilty – she'd only ever been patient with me, but I couldn't have this with her.

"I've lost a lot of people," I spoke reluctantly. "And I'm not putting myself into this situation where I'm gonna lose you, too. It's easier this way, and I shouldn't have kissed you back."

She furrowed her brows. "So your reaction is to push me away and lose me instead anyway?"

"Uh-huh." I put the can down and grabbed the gas pump. "At least it's my choice that way.

She scoffed, sounding completely annoyed and upset for the first time. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

My grip tightened on the pump. "Then I'm dumb. Leave it."

"You can't just–"

"I said leave it!" I exclaimed heatedly. "It was a mistake, okay? It shouldn't have happened!"

"Let's say that's true," she persisted, despite my protests. "You're saying we aren't friends anymore either?"

I frowned, swallowing the lump in my throat. "No. I don't need you."

She fell quiet and I knew it wasn't very nice, but it had to be said if it meant she'd leave me alone.

"You really mean that?" I nodded, but she said, "At least look at me, Y/N."

I sighed, lifting my head to meet her hurt expression.

"You really mean that?" she repeated, jaw clenched as she waited for an answer.

"Yeah, I do," I said bluntly.

She pressed her lips together, eyes betraying her hurt, and it broke my heart to see her like this, especially because I was the cause. But I couldn't give in – I needed to push her away otherwise I'd gain her, just to lose her to something or the other. And after my mum, I couldn't bear to lose someone else so close to me.

"Whatever," she mumbled, eyes avoiding mine now. "I'm gonna check the store."

She left me alone as she headed inside, and I felt horrible but knew it had to be the right thing to do. I didn't understand how she could be so confident and fear nothing from us – I wished I could be the same to give her what she deserved, but I wasn't.

I tried to hurry up, wanting nothing more than to go back to the ranch and pretend today didn't happen, but as I was filling up more cans with fuel, I heard a gunshot come from the store and froze.

"Alicia?!" I called worriedly, before dropping everything and running inside the store with my gun in hand.

When I went inside, I called out for her again, on high alert, and only when I ran to the till at the back did I see her on the floor, bleeding out from her stomach.

"Oh my God," I got out, running to her side with my heart in my throat. "No, no, no, Alicia."

She was dazed, eyes glazed over and barely able to focus on me. My eyes followed down to her wound, hands pressing to it to stop the blood, but it was everywhere and I couldn't pinpoint the exact spot. I looked up, trying to figure out what happened, and then I saw the staff room door opposite her open, with a shotgun aimed right at her. Someone must have rigged it as a trap to go off when the door opened and Alicia had been caught in it.

"Alicia, talk to me," I pleaded, eyes tearing up as my brain struggled to work out what to do next. "Alicia?"

She let out a groan, hand weakly reaching for mine, but she scrunched her face up in pain and dropped it. The shrapnel from the shotgun shell had made a huge mess of her stomach, blood everywhere and scaring me to death. This was all my fault. She'd gone in here because I'd pissed her off, and now she was hurt.

No, there wasn't time to think like that right now. I needed to get her back to the ranch.

"Okay, I need to get you out of here," I spoke aloud, needing to hear something other than my own daunting thoughts. "Just– think, Y/N."

I let go of her quickly, spotting some t-shirts hung up in the corner of the store – one of the few things left in a place already ransacked – and tore into it, the cheap fabric ripping in no time. I tried my best wrap it around her stomach, needing something to soak up the blood whilst I got her to the truck, but it was already staining a deep red and I couldn't see it holding for long.

"I'm gonna help you up now, Alicia," I warned her, heart aching when I saw the tears in her eyes.

I wrapped my arm behind her shoulders before lifting her up into a sitting position. She let out a scream, falling limp for a moment, but I couldn't afford to stop. I powered through, trying to remind myself that it was for her benefit, despite the screams she was letting out, and carried her weight on my side as much as I could.

With great difficulty and a lot of muttered swearing on her end, I managed to lay her down in the backseat of the truck before jumping into the driver's seat and already starting the route back.

Too much was happening as I radioed the ranch, warning them of Alicia's state and to prepare the medbay for use. The inevitable bumpy ride was causing great pain to Alicia as she continued to lose colour in the backseat; I kept glancing back at her, trying to talk her into staying awake, but it was no use as my voice was long gone to her.

My heart was racing so fast by the time I pulled up to the ranch, so much that I didn't acknowledge anything other than making sure Alicia would be okay. Nick helped me take her out from the truck, lowering her onto a stretcher, and she was rushed straight to the medbay where they could take a look at her. After giving a quick account of what happened, I was ushered out the room, my last sight of her laying unconscious on a bed.

I wanted to throw up as I stood outside, catching my breath. This wasn't supposed to happen. It was only supposed to be a quick in and out supply run, nothing more, nothing less. It was all my fault.

The sound of the medbay doors opening suddenly made me turn around, and out walked Madison, Nick, Ofelia and my dad, the latter of whom embraced me in a tight hug before checking over me once more.

"You're sure you're okay? You didn't get hurt?" he asked the same thing he did when I first pulled up.

"I'm sure," I told him quickly, before my eyes fell to Madison and Nick's, and the guilt very quickly set in. "I– I'm so sorry, Madison, I– Nick, I– we didn't know. It was a trap and she shouldn't have gone in alone. I should've been with her, but we had an argument and I– she was pissed and she went in there to get away, but I– I'm so fucking sorry– I didn't know– I–"

"Hey, hey, hey, it's not your fault!" Madison cut me off, pulling me in for a hug, and I hated that I was crying into her shoulder when she should have been crying. Her daughter was literally on the brink of death because of me!

"It is," I told her between sobs. "She wouldn't have got hurt if I didn't–"

"The trap was there whether you fought or not," Madison told me, holding me at arm's length. "Neither of you knew."

I begged to differ, since Alicia wouldn't have stormed off inside so carelessly if I hadn't upset her like I had.

"The doctor said you brought her back just in time," she continued, eyes red as she had cried earlier, but she was holding up for me. "Thank you. Now, we wait. But you need to get cleaned up."

"I don't–"

"She's right, Y/N," Ofelia stopped me from protesting, already taking my hand. "Come on."

I frowned, glancing back at the medbay and praying to anything and everything that Alicia would make it. I let Ofelia bring me back to her place, but I couldn't stop shaking as I thought about how weak and lifeless Alicia looked before.

"It was my fault," I muttered to Ofelia when we were in her cabin. "I was so horrible to her and now she's dying because of me."

"Y/N, what happened exactly?" she asked worriedly, meeting my eyes.

I shook my head, trying not to cry again as I looked down at my trembling hands. They were still covered in Alicia's blood, dried up but serving as a reminder of what happened.

"Y/N, you need to talk to me," Ofelia encouraged.

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I looked up at her. "She kissed me. A few days ago. And I kissed her back, but I shouldn't have. I ran away and hadn't spoken to her since, until today. She wanted to talk to me about it at the gas station, but I told her I didn't need her, as a friend or anything more. I– I was so horrible, Ofelia. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of it, I was just scared of losing her. But now I might lose her anyway and she's gonna think– fuck, she's gonna think I hate her and–"

I stopped, shaking even more and realising how foolish I was to do any of what I did in the first place. The irony of it all would have been laughable if it didn't mean Alicia was hurt.

Ofelia pulled me in for a hug, practically holding me together, and she didn't need to say anything for me to know she was sorry. I didn't deserve her pity – this was my fault. But it was comforting nonetheless.

[deathbxnny]

Hello Bxnny, how are you? I see that you open your request. You still remember about the god-slayer-entity-reader, right? Yeah i basically asked the same request but with the 4 archons (Venti, Zhongli, Ei, Nahida). Also the relationship is platonic (cuz' i'm in the mood for it). And have a great day/night/evening/afternoon

(I almost got anxiety while writing this to make sure you understand what i ask because i don't want to overwhelming you, but yeah i'm fine)

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A/N: I hope you're alright and please don't worry about such things! I'll always politely say something, if there is an issue, so no worries! Also thank you for the request, I really liked the idea!<33

Content: Kinda unserious, platonic relationships, summonings, mentions of alcoholic, mentions of battles, fluff, mentions of murder/death?, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

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》Venti

You were quite confused, when you were suddenly summoned by an Archon. You used to slay many God's in your youth... so just what would he want from you? He should be afraid and worried, but instead, he just offers you a smile. "'Are you that legendary entity? That slayed God's and alike?" "Uh... yeah?" "Great! Let's go and get a drink together!"

You couldn't get a word in, as he just dragged you off into the direction of the tavern. He ordered a drink for you and began to sing his heart out on his lyre, never once telling you the purpose of you being there. So you just awkwardly watched him dance around with a drink in hand, your eyes nervously glancing at the red haired bartender, who seemed to stare at you suspiciously... Just what was up with these people here?

By the time you were finally allowed to leave, Venti dragged you back to where he summoned you. "Welp, that was fun... I'll be back next tomorrow! Goodnight!" He simply said, before skipping off and leaving you there dumbfounded... well now you were looking forward to tomorrow too.

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》Ei

You were really just summoned into her realm by accident, which left you stumbling out of the book that held your entity in it. Huffing, you stand up and dust yourself off, as you give the surprised Archon an offended glare, questioning why she summoned you of all people... or well, entities. "Did... Miko give me the wrong book?" She'd simply ask absently, making it clear that she didn't actually know that opening it would bring you here.

And so, you simply sit down and keep her company for a while, until you can finally return to your book. "So, you're a god slayer...?" "I was one... I don't do that anymore though." "Oh." The silence was a little awkward, but surprisingly calming, especially when she went back to just meditating in peace. Deciding to join her, you soon found yourself understanding realising that you both were quite similar in a way.

When it was time for you to return back into the book, you told her that she could summon you again anytime, which started a beautiful friendship between you two.

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》Nahida

"Can you tell me more about your need to slaughter God's? I'm very curious about the purpose behind it." "... Uh... how old are you again?" You rubbed your head in confusion, as you looked down at the young girl, who looked up at you with curious and eager eyes. You at first mistook her as a simple child, but even after learning that she was an Archon, things still didn't make sense to you.

Not that it really mattered to Nahida, as she just questioned you so throughly about your actions, that you began wondering if this was what therapy felt like. She was quite intelligent however and began noting things down mentally for further research, seemingly never satisfied with just one answer to something.

By the time Nahida was done, you were practically drained of your brain juice in defeat and sat on the ground with your head in your hands. The young Archon noticed none of this, as she just hummed and nodded. "Hm... I guess that's all for now... actually, I have one more-" "No."

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》Zhongli

You huffed in annoyance, when you were summoned by someone, your eyes looking around to curse out the person who disturbed your peace. Someone cleared their throat behind you, their hand clasping onto your shoulder tightly, as the person spoke up. "Greetings, old acquaintance. My apologies for the disturbance, but I wanted to apologise for-" "WHAT THE- NOT YOU AGAIN! AAAAAAAA-" You screamed in terror, as you tried scrambling away from him, but his grip on you was too tight.

Many centuries ago, you tried slaying the Geo Archon, arrogantly thinking that you could. But you were violently brought back to reality, when he threw a whole mountain at you with ease. You officially retired that day. Seeing him again now made you therefore think that he was back to finish you off as revenge, but it seemed like he had different intentions in mind. Especially when he dragged you all the way to Liyue Harbour to "drink some tea with you and talk".

Your cup shook violently in your hand, when Zhongli gave you a calm and reassuring smile. "Anyways... as I was saying, I wanted to apologise for throwing that mountain at you." "Oh... uh... t-that's alright..." You laughed nervously, as he laughed with you, before his gaze turned serious again. "Don't try that again." "Wouldn't dream of it, sir!"

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A/N: Alright, I hope this was alright! Thank you again for the request!<33

[the-way-astray]

Still on anon because Katie, Isa and Alayda are the only ones who know! Keep guessing, though... I find it fascinating.

Here we are with chapter 4! Good to know I'm the non-cringey-strieefe-fic-writer (also known as the North Carolina anon, Noodles Cold anon, Nutritious Chickens anon, Nearsighted Cows anon, Nefarious Cackling anon, and anything else that abbreviated to NC because Stria apparently cannot use context clues <3 said with love of course)

and naturally, stria, to ease your concerns: you are the first to read these. No, alayda, katie and isa do not get to see it first. These are not beta read and typed directly into your ask box and sent.

—————

Title: Never Change chapter 4

Pairing: Stria x Keefe

—————

Who was Stria, and why was she hailing Keefe?

Sophie frowned at Keefe's imparter, which was the one currently buzzing in her hands. Should she answer? Obviously Keefe couldn't. The thought made another dizzying storm of worry kick up again in her chest, and she glanced over in Keefe's direction, wondering if he'd suddenly wake up to tease her about how concerned she was about him.

He didn't.

In a split second decision, Sophie answered. "Hi... who is this?" she asked.

The girl on the screen, Stria, blinked a few times, as though adjusting to having the sun in her eyes. "You're not Keefe."

"I'm Sophie." She wasn't owed answers about what happened to Keefe. Who was she?

"I know." Stria caught herself, cursing softly under her breath. "I mean..."

"It's fine," Sophie said curtly. Most people recognized her by her brown eyes. "Not to be blunt, but who are you?"

"No, that's a perfectly reasonable question," Stria agreed. "I'm... I met Keefe about a week and a half ago. He'd heard the rumors that I... he'd heard some rumors about me and wanted to talk."

And he hadn't told her about it?

Rumors that she what?

Sophie trusted her boyfriend, of course, but something about how frustrated and furious she was with him right now led her mind to go spiraling down insane roads. "So you talked... and you're hailing to talk again?"

"Well, we were going to grab milkshakes, and he canceled with no notice or explanation, and I was worried something happened to him." Stria looked away. "Especially since the Healing Center is closed..."

Sophie blocked out the part of her mind that was telling her that sounded like a date. She didn't have time for unwarranted jealousy right now. If Keefe had never mentioned her, it was probably because she was irrelevant—not because he was trying to hide that they were talking. It fully made sense that this girl would be worried about a last minute cancel.

"So... is he okay?" Stria asked hesitantly.

Sophie automatically wanted to say yes. But it would be a lie, and Stria, whoever she was and whatever she thought Keefe intended by going to "grab milkshakes" with her, deserved the truth.

But Sophie couldn't say the truth.

There was the fact that she couldn't get into any Black Swan/Neverseen details, but also the fact that recounting Keefe's absolute stupidity before she'd even had the chance to talk about it with him (or just yell at him, which also might become necessary) felt wrong.

Sophie went with, "He's injured."

"How bad is it?"

Sophie glanced over at Keefe. His chest was rising and falling at a normal pace now, though Elwin was still keeping him sedated. Sophie had to look away quickly. The sight of all the bandages... it was worse than it had ever been for him.

Was he ever going to learn?

Or would he keep testing fate until it killed him?

Sophie didn't realize she hadn't answered until Stria whispered, "Bad, huh?"

Sophie turned back to the imparter screen, choking out, "It could be worse." She couldn't talk about this with a stranger anymore. Everything was still too fresh. "I'm sorry, Stria, but I have to go."

"Of course. I... well, thank you for telling me."

The screen went dark.

Stria stared at the blank imparter screen, still digesting the news.

Sophie looked like she hadn't slept in days. Given what she'd read of the books, this didn't surprise her, but she'd been a mess. And the way she'd looked away from the screen, like she was glancing over at Keefe on a hospital bed, recovering from a potentially fatal injury...

Somehow, she could feel Sophie's pain herself, just from the expressions. Stria had a sudden realization in that moment, though she wasn't sure why her brain decided to supply it to her now:

She wanted Keefe to live.

Irrelevant, of course. She wouldn't wish death on anyone, even if she hated that person. But her brain then supplied her with a far worse realization:

If Keefe died, and the last thing she'd ever told him was how much she despised him...

Why should she care?! She did despise him, and there was no reason to feel guilty about it just because he got injured, probably mostly by his own fault!

She should be allowed to think that! Why did it feel awful to think that?

She stood up abruptly, sliding the imparter into her pocket. She needed to go for a walk. She needed food or a drink or something. She needed to walk with a really bad coffee drink that tasted bitter in her mouth to give her a reason for feeling so... whatever this was.

As soon as she stepped out of her appartment, she began to walk briskly through Atlantis. At one point, she passed by a milkshake shop. In the window, they were advtertising her favorite flavor. She was looking for a drink, after all.

She walked past the shop as fast as physically possible.

She focused on her feet hitting the ground, one after the other. She looked down at her feet, watching them carry her along, and then—

—she walked straight into someone.

"I am so sorry!" Stria gasped as he regained his balance. Neither of them had fallen over—thank God, that would have been embarassing for them both—but his sketchbook had fallen to the ground. She reached down to grab it for him. She hardly registered that the book was flipped open to a certain page until she glanced at it, barely thinking about it.

Then she did a double take.

She recognized that art style.

And the guy in the art.

She knew this art style. And that character.

She contemplated telling him that it was a really good drawing of Keefe, just to watch him lose faith in the world for the last time, but decided that was too mean. "Max?!"

Max snatched back his notebook, looking at her warily. "How do you know who I—hang on. You're from KOTLC tumblr too, aren't you?"

"Yep."

"Give me a hint."

Stria wanted to say, I depsise Keefe, because she was sure he would get it right away, but the topic was too sensitive right now. "Aldella."

"Stria?"

"Yep."

"What are you doing on this side of the fourth wall?" Max asked, looking oddly perplexed for someone who was also on this side of the fourth wall.

"What are you doing on this side of the fourth wall?" Stria countered.

Max glanced down at his drawing. "He does have short hair. I confirmed it."

"You met Fintan?!"

"He also does follow American politics. And he reads warrior cats. Yes, he is the Fintan tumblr blog."

"So you came over to this side of the fourth wall to find Fintan?"

"What? No, I met Fintan back on our side of the fourth wall," Max explained, "and then I realized walking through the fourth wall was possible, so I thought, why not go get some solid art reference?"

"But you're still drawing Fintan."

Max shrugged. "I think it's in my genes."

"Wait wait wait. If Fintan is the tumblr blog, and he ships himself with Bronte—"

"I'm looking into that as well," Max added. "Now back to my original question. What are you doing on this side of the wall?"

Ouch. She actually had to say this, didn't she? "I kind of... wandered in with a group of people, not realizing this was where we were going."

"What group?" Max asked.

"Katie, Isa, Maddie, Lisa, Alayda, and Katie's cat."

Max blinked. "What were you even doing with that group of people?! I mean, not to say you can't have whatever friends you want, because obviously you can, but—"

"I was talking to Katie!" Stria sighed. "Well, arguing is a better word. But we were having a great time. And then, bam, I was on this side of the fourth wall."

"And you didn't go back because...?"

"Well, I'm not exactly opposed to finding out more about the Lost Cities," Stria pointed out. "I've been going to Foxfire."

"Seriously?"

"Look, I walked over with Katie's mutual circle, does anything surprise you at this point?"

"I think anything short of you going on a date with Keefe," Max said wryly, bringing up her famous hatred. She shouldn't have been surprised.

"Well..."

"You did not."

"It wasn't really a date."

"Stria."

"And he canceled on me this time!"

"Stria."

"Look, he's literally in a hospital right now, so maybe talking about how I'm supposed to hate him isn't the most productive—"

"Remember who you are, Stria!" Max said, shaking her by the shoulders, and wow, yeah, she'd really needed that.

"I think I needed to hear that. It's so refreshing to have another Keefe hater here with me besides Katie's cat," Stria said truthfully, even though it felt alarmingly simplistic to just use the term "Keefe hater" now that she was here and it was real.

But here was her perfect opportunity to get her mind off things. "Want to go get weird gnomish food somewhere?"

—————

I'd actually toyed with the idea of bringing in Max as another Keefe hater to be there with you, and then you brought it up, and I was like, well now I have to do it! Sorry Max. I'm so sorry to involve you in this drama. But I'm also not sorry because it's funny.

I'd love to see your guesses for my identity at this point!!!

Sincerely,

Never Change author

part one, part two, part three for the uninitiated :) i'll stop doing this soon and maybe just start making a masterpost or something. but for now it's not too unmanageable.

"Sophie frowned at Keefe's imparter [ . . . ]" you should know that the second i realized this chapter was in sophie's perspective, i went insane. because like. she's going to hate me :( ugh this is so not worth it. sophie keep your toxic-ass boyfriend it's absolutely not worth it to make sophie dislike me over . . . who was this again???? keefe????

"The thought made another dizzying storm of worry kick up again in her chest, and she glanced over in Keefe's direction, wondering if he'd suddenly wake up to tease her about how concerned she was about him." ooooooh, the plot thickens.

""It's fine," Sophie said curtly. Most people recognized her by her brown eyes. "Not to be blunt, but who are you?"" sophie, who's able to fucking. hex code everyone's eyes. doesn't notice i have brown eyes???? interesting . . . also in my canon the elves have normal eye colors. all of them. including sophie. promptly ignoring this, as i do with shannon, as well :)

"Sophie trusted her boyfriend [ . . . ]" ANON I MAY HAVE TO MURDER YOU. LOOK. I HATE SOKEEFE, OKAY. I REALLY DO. BUT I'D RATHER HAVE SOKEEFE AND SOPHIE SPEAKING TO ME THAN FUCKING. ME AND KEEFE AND SOPHIE NOT TALKING TO ME. BY A LONG SHOT. IF THIS IS A STRIEEFE FIC THAT MEANS THAT THE INEVITABLE SOKEEFE BREAKUP IS GOING TO HAPPEN AT SOME POINT . . . no . . . sophie's going to hate me :(

"Sophie blocked out the part of her mind that was telling her that sounded like a date." if keefe and sophie are still dating in the canon of this fic then why didn't keefe say something like "i have a girlfriend" when i slipped in the second chapter and called it a date (which i would never do by the way)???? like, as much as i despise keefe, he's not a cheater (although shannon did make some weird decisions in the first book by implying he looks up to alvar for being a cheater . . . ).

"[ . . . ] but also the fact that recounting Keefe's absolute stupidity before she'd even had the chance to talk about it with him (or just yell at him, which also might become necessary) felt wrong." yeah, if keefe did this to himself, that checks out. fucking idiot. why is he so fucking stupid. can he stop hijacking plans for even a second . . .

whatever happened to keefe is so fucking interesting though. someone needs to tell me what happened right this second.

"Was he ever going to learn? Or would he keep testing fate until it killed him?" well if shannon messenger has anything to do with it, probably not. but i have more faith in anon.

"Sophie looked like she hadn't slept in days." classic example of keefe ruining sophie's mental health because he's arrogant as shit!!!! i don't care that his arrogance comes from his abusive childhood!!!! he's still not only stupid, but thinks he's smart!!!! ewwwwww.

"Somehow, she could feel Sophie's pain herself, just from the expressions." not at all what i'd be realistically feeling. i'd be more sorry for sophie, and thinking about how she deserves better than this fool. dump him, sophie. come onnnn you know you want better than someone who will do nothing but ruin your mental health and treat you like shit by taking your choices away from you . . . you know you wanna soooooo bad . . .

"She wanted Keefe to live." inaccurate. with the rage i feel at this idiot right now, he could die and i'd say good riddance, nobody to fuck shit up and worry everyone anymore. *sobbing* he's so stupid . . .

"Why should she care?! She did despise him, and there was no reason to feel guilty about it just because he got injured, probably mostly by his own fault!" i would not be feeling guilty, i'd be feeling angry. at keefe. which is something sophie almost never feels at him, which annoys the crap out of me. come on, sophie, stop pitying him, start being angry with him.

"She needed to walk with a really bad coffee drink that tasted bitter in her mouth to give her a reason for feeling so... whatever this was." fun fact: coffees (lattes) are my favorite drink of all time. unfortunately, the elves probably aren't the coffee kind.

"In the window, they were advtertising her favorite flavor." that would be coffee.

"She contemplated telling him that it was a really good drawing of Keefe, just to watch him lose faith in the world for the last time, but decided that was too mean." this about the first person to tell max his keefe art looked like fintan :)

"Stria wanted to say, I depsise Keefe, because she was sure he would get it right away, but the topic was too sensitive right now. "Aldella."" i'm not fully certain max is aware of my aldella obsession. but a nice thought nonetheless.

"Max glanced down at his drawing. "He does have short hair. I confirmed it."" ANON DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE. NO. THIS IS WRONG. WRONG AND INCORRECT. no . . . you can't make max more valid than me in my own fic . . .

""He also does follow American politics. And he reads warrior cats. Yes, he is the Fintan tumblr blog."" fintan pyren, the kotlc character, is the same as fin, the tumblr user, in this fic's canon confirmed. although i'm hoping that was a mistake and that fin just lied to max. because it would be funny to have not one, but two people that are clinically insane about fintan stalk him in the lost cities.

""What? No, I met Fintan back on our side of the fourth wall," Max explained, "and then I realized walking through the fourth wall was possible, so I thought, why not go get some solid art reference?"" that's hella goofy. also i feel like max should be having a stronger reaction to realizing he's been mutuals on tumblr dot com with the person he's been obsessed with for years now.

""Wait wait wait. If Fintan is the tumblr blog, and he ships himself with Bronte—"" actually, he ships himself with shakespeare. and king dimitar. he's got quite a bit of explaining to do. so realistically i'd say that and max would faint from having heard an allude to finitar. or something.

""I'm looking into that as well," Max added." in character. also fin shipping himself with bronte? also in character.

""Katie, Isa, Maddie, Lisa, Alayda, and Katie's cat." Max blinked. "What were you even doing with that group of people?! I mean, not to say you can't have whatever friends you want, because obviously you can, but—"" i'm pretty sure max doesn't even know who half these people are. but interesting.

""I was talking to Katie!" Stria sighed. "Well, arguing is a better word. But we were having a great time. And then, bam, I was on this side of the fourth wall."" LMFAO NOT OUR ARGUING RUPTURING THE FOURTH WALL. also why were isa, maddie, lisa, and alayda there? i doubt they were participating. they were playing uno while me and katie argued . . .

""Well, I'm not exactly opposed to finding out more about the Lost Cities," Stria pointed out." yeah i need to know more about the pyrokinesis ban immediately actually. and more about the general public's attitude towards shades.

""I think anything short of you going on a date with Keefe," Max said wryly, bringing up her famous hatred. She shouldn't have been surprised." technically it wasn't a date, because keefe apparently has a girlfriend *side-eyeing him so hard right now*

""Remember who you are, Stria!" Max said, shaking her by the shoulders, and wow, yeah, she'd really needed that." hello never change anon, sorry but this made me cringe out of my soul and i'm certain max would never say that. it's so shannon . . . someone help me . . . ack.

[block limit]

""It's so refreshing to have another Keefe hater here with me besides Katie's cat," Stria said truthfully, even though it felt alarmingly simplistic to just use the term "Keefe hater" now that she was here and it was real." i can continue to be a keefe hater regardless of circumstance, because i have magical powers. hope this helps.

""Want to go get weird gnomish food somewhere?"" ooh, weird gnomish food with max chapter???? i still think fin should be a separate person from fintan, and it turns out he's been tricking max the whole time. then max can write this all down in his little detective notebook. or something.

in conclusion, i think quil should be the next one to walk through the fourth wall. hear me out: quil would support my anti strieefe agenda and also be detached enough because of desperate attempts to find everglen and stalk fitz vacker to the point of collapsing on the floor in a keyboard smash manner once successful. also quil's a neutral party that doesn't particularly like or hate keefe so that would be nice to have. or something. idk i'm not writing this.

currently wondering if you know max, like in an interactive way. evidence points to the contrary, since i can't imagine he hates keefe enough to really care whether or not i'm going on smoothie "dates" with him. and i'm officially out of guesses. i have an anon in my inbox that is very certain you are katie and a liar, but i feel like. that would take the fun out of it? like if mr. forkle did turn out to be sophie's bio dad or something. idk. also this reminded me that i've read a fourth fanfic during my time in this fandom by max, which helps exactly nil. so basically i still have no idea who you are. help me, anons.

tagging everyone mentioned (tell me if you'd prefer not to be): @myfairkatiecat @crescentpaws @fintan-pyren @permanently-stressed @queefsencen @lisalovesapplesauce @alaydabug2

[melonchanverse]

Hello Mel! If it's not too many questions, I'd like to ask all the questions under "Sorrel - Affability, Pleasantness and Agreeableness" for Kaguya.

I don't want to overwhelm you, so if you just want to answer some of them it's fine! Either way, thank you in advance 🩵

hi myell! thank you for questions. and don’t worry! it’s not too much!

if you wanna leave an ask - 🌙

How easy is it for others to get along with your OC? Are they easy-going and tolerant? Or stern and exacting? Do they often find themselves picking fault with others and criticising them? Or are they able to view their faults and foibles philosophically - or even with affection?

Kaguya is somewhat difficult to get along with, as her cold demeanor and blunt manner of speaking often leave a bad impression on others. She's not exactly the sociable type, and she tends to be direct and sometimes even rude in her communication style. She's not the type to let things slide easily and will often speak her mind bluntly, which can rub people the wrong way. As a result, Kaguya is seen as a bit standoffish and difficult to approach, and her tendency to critique and question things can make it hard for others to connect with her on a personal level.

How quick is your OC to forgive the transgressions of others? Do they bear grudges for extended periods? How important is it that the other person admits their fault?

"Forgive" and "forgetting" aren't exactly in Kaguya's dictionary. She's got a pretty good memory, especially when it comes to those who cross her or pose a threat to her beloved ones. As for apologies, well, actions speak louder than words, but she might give you a sarcastic "thanks for owning up to it" if you manage to actually admit your fault. But don't expect instant forgiveness—she's got a long list of grudges she's saving for a rainy day.

What do your OC's friends like most about them? What might they consider their "best" quality?

Well, the one thing her few “friends” like about her is her unwavering loyalty. When Kaguya gets attached to someone, she's ride or die. And trust me, you don't want to be on the receiving end of her protectiveness. As for her "best" quality, I guess you could say she's... brutally honest. She's got a talent for delivering blunt truths with a side of sarcasm that can sometimes sting, but hey, at least you always know where you stand with her.

How polite is your OC? Are they courteous and considerate of others? Or gruff and tactless? If they are polished in their manners then is this always a positive quality? Or perhaps something calculated and employed whilst engaged in political or social intrigue? If they are rough in their manners then is this always a bad thing? Or does their lack of external gloss actually reflect their honesty and integrity?

Kaguya is like… polished rusty metal pipe. She doesn't bother much with the whole "courtly manners" thing. If she could, she'd probably say everything she thinks with no regard for social norms. But when she does make an effort to be polite, it often comes off as forced or unnatural. I guess you could say her manners are a reflection of her own rough edges, and she's not exactly the most socially adept person around. But hey… at least you know you're getting a genuine—if somewhat brusque—response from her….

Does your OC always need to be right in every discussion? Or are they sometimes willing to concede a point for the sake of social harmony (or simply a quiet life)? Are there some topics upon which they will never compromise their position? Or can they usually simply shrug and let others be wrong? Does this vary depending on whether the subject is relatively trivial or of great importance to them personally?

Kaguya? Concede a point? Hah! Not in a million years. This girl is as stubborn as a mule when it comes to debates. She's got an opinion on everything, and she's not one to back down easily. Of course, trivial matters might not ruffle her feathers much, but if it's something that hits close to home, forget about it. You might as well be talking to a brick wall. It's like she's got this internal need to always be right, and compromise is not in her vocabulary (if you are not Nadeko ofc)

[ddwcaph-game]

Do the crush options want to get married and/or have kids in the future? If they do, how many kids would they want? Is there a chance that they could change their mind about it/be persuaded, or would wanting/not wanting kids be a dealbreaker for them? Would their preferences/opinion change when they're adults? (If the last question is too spoilery, then you don't have to answer)

Heh, what a question to wake up to! Although I guess it was sort of inevitable. 😄

Some of the information (particularly how many kids Wayne and Roselyna want) can be discovered in the game as secrets, so I'll put the answers below the cut. Oh and before anyone asks, MC's ancestry/heritage doesn't matter when it comes to having kids in the future.

Wayne would definitely want to get married, if it wasn't obvious enough. Nestor mentions in one of the dialogue options in Chapter 4 that Wayne would want 4 kids, two boys and two girls ideally. He even has some of the names planned out, but that secret isn't fully discoverable yet. This likely wouldn't change when he's an adult, but he'd be totally open to adoption and having less/more kids (and changing the names he's planned out).

Not wanting kids isn't exactly a dealbreaker for him, but like I mentioned in the other ask, he'd probably want the relationship to be partially open in that case (so casual flirting and dating, but no one-night stands).

Roselyna would also definitely want to get married, and as you'll find out in her diary, she wants 20 (twenty) kids ideally. Yup. (You can find out in her diary how she got the idea in the first place.)

Of course she's totally willing to lower that to a more reasonable amount once she grows up and starts having kids, but she'd still want it to be on the higher side of reasonable. She's also open to adopting kids (since she's also adopted), but not wanting kids would be practically a dealbreaker.

Honestly, at this point, I don't see Lily ever wanting to get married, with the only possible exception being MC. Other than B, Lily is possibly the hardest crush option to win over, because spoilers. She wouldn't want kids even as an adult, but she could be maaaybe/sorta/kinda persuaded to have one or two at most, via adoption or other alternative methods.

JM's not interested in crushes (and therefore marriage) at the moment because of studies, but in the future, he'd ideally want to get married. And by ideally, it's more of a "it'd be nice" more than "I want to". As for kids, he'd ideally want one or two, but he could probably be persuaded for another one or two more. That said, he'd be fine with not wanting any kids either.

Brandon/Beatrice isn't too keen on getting married at the moment other than a vague dismissive thought of "sure" if you ask them, although that's likely to change in the future depending on later events. They also haven't entertained the thought of having kids yet, so they could be persuaded in either direction.

For Cordelia, the idea of marriage is more of a pipe dream. So yes, she would want to get married, but it would definitely not be near the top of her priorities, even as an adult. She comes from a culture where having plenty of kids is the norm (so she wouldn't be opposed to that idea), but she's more than fine with not having any (and would rather adopt instead if possible).

I mean, Cham is an angel, so it's safe to assume that in her several millenia of existence, she's never even considered of getting married… although they wouldn't necessarily be opposed to it later in the story. The same goes for kids, so she's fine with none, or as many kids as MC could possibly want (adopted or otherwise).

***

Anyway, thank you so much for the question! 😊 I'd also like to point out that MC's also a twin, so there'd be a higher chance of them also having twins/multiples if that's something you wanna consider for your headcanons 😉

Here's a post I made a while ago about what the crush options will be like in the future, so you can check that out for more information about them as adults!

[angelbroad]

"Well, that worked out great"

Type: Fanfiction

Fandom: One Piece

Characters: Left Wing, Donquixote Doflamingo

"Why would you think any of this was a good idea??", Left Wing questioned Doflamingo as the two found themselves running away from the island's marines after the man supposed to be her employer decided to up and steal the information they had on the Op Op fruit.

"It's called opportunity, Leftie.", Doflamingo said as he threw a string towards a line of marines, cutting their legs so bad it knocked them down, "Maybe you should think of it more often considering your bounty is raising and you still refuse high profile jobs!"

"I have kids to take care of-"

"One of them is mine."

"You have two of them. I'm not counting Law, he hangs with Corazon more than you."

One of the bullets from the marines' guns grazed one of the wings on Left Wing's coat, which had Doflamingo tossing her the safe containing the information as the two split directions and climbed to the rooftops.

"I'm not saying robbing people is wrong, especially marines.", Left Wing called to Doflamingo as they were running on the roofs to reach the Numencia Flamingo, "I'm just saying it's stupid as shit to do it alone in the middle of the godamn day!"

"You always see the negativity in my plans!"

They were once again interrupted by the marines, one of them yelling at left Wing to hand over the safe before being sniped with bullet strings by Doflamingo. Left Wing decided she'd keep the safe when the two reconnected on one of the rooftops only to keep running side by side.

"Maybe because sometimes your brain doesn't work."

"Did you just call me dumb??", Doflamingo argued.

"I'm calling you periodically stupid."

Doflamingo was a smart man, Left Wing could not lie to herself. But sometimes that stupid man refused to do something without flashiness following it. Left Wing was glad she genuinelly enjoyed his company, because she'd live in constant fear otherwise like the rest of his employees.

"That's a made up term and you know it.", he said as he wrapped an arm around her waist to hoist them both higher in the air with his string using the taller buildings while she turned one of her arms to slice through any bullets flying at them.

The two finally found themselves falling face and back first respectively on the ship's floor, with the safe bouncing forward as the Numencia Flamingo begun to move further into the sea. Left Wing was the first to get up, transforming half her body to slam it down the coast where it sliced through buildings and ports as a distraction for the marines, leaving the pirates a way of escape.

Doflamingo got up after Left Wing reassembled herself and slicked his hair back.

"Well, that worked out great.", Doflamingo said before being punched at the side of his head. "What the fuck was that for??", he asked, only to see the rare sight of Left Wing doubled over in laughter.

"You are really weird. It's important to me that you know that.", she said, looking at him with her only actual eye.

Doflamingo's smile returned as he responded, "It's my charm!", he boasted, "Maybe if you smiled more, more people would like you."

"Nah, I don't look good with a smile.", she responded.

"Mm, I'd have an answer to that if you actually smiled more."

"You'll never know, I guess."

The two then looked at the steadily furthering destruction they had caused.

"Do you think all this might catch up to us at some point?", Doflamingo asked, and the two looked at each other for only a moment before laughing it off. Like that would ever happen.

[callofthxvoid]

WHO: Leila Williams and Olexi 'Fox' Vos

SUMMARY: Sometimes, when you're on a second date with your best friend, you ask a question that you're not entirely prepared to hear the answer to. Continued from here.

FOX felt that flush come back to his cheeks, taking a longer sip of wine, it wasn't like she'd never winked at him before. Though now it was different, it wasn't playful flirting, it was actual flirting while on a date. "You ever going to let me have any secrets from you?" he quipped back, even if he was grinning at her. At least until she asked that, suddenly more interested in the food. Which came with its own feelings over how much effort she was putting into this, "This is really good," he mumbled even if he knew trying to compliment wasn't going to get her off the subject. He debated what to say for a brief second, maybe a much smaller number that didn't make him look quite as pathetic as he felt. He was fiddling with his fork when he said, "You know it was rough at the beginning not having them here, and you were here for me. Can't really blame a guy for falling hard right?" He gave a nervous chuckle before taking a long sip of his wine.

"Nope," LEILA replied happily, grinning back at him before having another sip of her wine. She had been anxious about the meal, and she appreciated him complimenting it, but she knew Ollie well enough to know that he was stalling answering her question. She didn't really know why, but she didn't mind waiting for him to work out what he wanted to say, leaning back in her seat and slowly sipping her wine. It was a small miracle that she didn't do a spit take upon hearing his answer. "I—what?" She set the glass down on the table and stared at him. "Ollie, we've known each other for ten years. Are you telling me it's been ten years?" She blinked in disbelief. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

FOX had been running this thumb over the bottom of his wine glass. His gaze on the way the light was hitting the wine. His eyes flickered to look of disbelief on her face, maybe any other day he would have laughed, today though it made his stomach churn. Everyone had said he wasn't subtle, though his sisters were a recent addition, maybe he'd gotten more direct over time or they just knew him well enough even after all those years. Though a small voice in the back of his head piped up that she never noticed because she hadn't wanted to notice.

He gave a sheepish shrug, another nervous chuckle slipping out. "Timing just never seemed to work out," he mumbled fiddling with his cutlery, "Wasn't looking to be a home wrecker," he's trying to joke and keep his voice light, but the nervousness is back in full force.

LEILA blinked again. She was still trying to wrap her head around the fact that it had been a decade, a decade of him having feelings for her and her not knowing about it, a decade that they could have been together if she had only looked up and actually seen him. And if she hadn't been so stubborn about staying with Tricky. "That's fair," she admitted, reaching out to take his hand. "It does make a lot more sense to me now. Why you freaked out the way that you did when we first talked about it." She paused. "I don't... I don't know why I didn't see it. But I guess I couldn't even see how I felt. I think... I think I've had feelings for you a lot longer than I've been aware of them. Not ten years, but still." She shrugged. "I've been jealous, you know. I was incredibly jealous of Celia. I didn't know why then but I do now."

FOX almost jumped out of his seat when she grabbed his hand, he'd been getting lost in a swirl of his own thoughts when she got his attention. Giving her hand a light squeeze he grimaced before pouting slightly, "I didn't freak...I just...had a very normal surprised reaction to the topic." He was rubbing slow circles on the back of her hand, unsure of how to feel over the idea of her having feelings for him, it was hard not to feel like he'd gone cliff diving while she'd hopped down off a rock. It wasn't completely fair and he knew that, but his own insecurities were swinging around making it hard to think. Glancing up at her his brow furrowed, "Wait you were jealous of Celia?" Even saying it out loud has him blinking blankly, "We didn't even really date."

LEILA felt a small smile tug at her lips when he argued that he had not freaked out. She could point out that, at the time, he literally told her that he was freaking out, but she decided against it. Instead, she squeezed his hand back and shrugged. "Yeah, I was," she admitted. "At first, I told myself it was because I was off with Tricky at the time and I was feeling vulnerable and needed to spend time with my best friend. But then Tricky and I got back together, and you kept seeing Celia, and... I don't know. I felt relieved when you said it wasn't serious, which should have been my second hint, but that jealous feeling never really went away. I still feel that way sometimes." She paused. "It's not because I think you secretly want her back. I just... The two of you have a way of speaking that shows how deeply familiar you are with each other. She even calls you Olexi."

FOX had been idly rubbing her hand as he listened to her. He'd spent so long trying to hide his own jealousy he'd never stopped to consider Leila has felt similar at times. "Only when I'm in trouble," he mumbled giving a small shrug, which wasn't untrue. Different thoughts were racing through his head, though it felt like he was trying to snag a cab in a busy intersection and failing miserably. Chewing on his lip as he looked at their hands, "I was jealous when she got married, but like you said not cause I want her back. Just jealous she found that with someone, you know?" He glanced up to meet her gaze again, "Mo and Chandler are close, kind of just made sense to stay friendly...that and she was aware from the beginning why it was never gonna be serious," squeezing her hand again he gave another shrug, "Think it's the only reason we lasted as long as we did. She knew I wasn't going to fall in love with her."

A small smile tugged at LEILA's lips. "That's true, she does use her mom voice on you sometimes," she replied, dropping her own gaze to the table and focusing on how warm his hand felt in hers as opposed to how vulnerable she felt in that moment. She didn't know how to feel about the fact that seemingly everybody but her had known how Ollie felt about her. There was a part of her that was... Flattered wasn't quite the right word, but something in that ballpark, that he'd held a torch for her for that long. But there was also a part of her that felt some type of way about everyone knowing something about him that she didn't. "I'm sorry, I'm—I understand why you didn't tell me," she explained, looking back up at him. "I'm just kind of reckoning with the fact that there was this big, important thing I didn't know about you. It's silly, but... I've always taken pride in being the person you told everything."

FOX wondered idly if she could hear how fast his heart was racing, the sound drowning almost everything else out for him. He tried not to cringe, gaze dropping as he fiddled with her hand in his. "I mean....I don't know it wasn't that important. You knew I cared about you and we were-are best friends," he said glancing back up slowly. He gave another small shrug, "That's always been more than enough for me Leila."

LEILA tilted her head to the side as she observed Ollie. She knew that this conversation was probably not over, and that they would probably have similar conversations like this in the future, but that was a challenge that she was willing to navigate. "Ollie," she sighed. "Being your best friend has always been enough for me too. But if we can be more than that?" She shrugged. "Of course I want a shot at that. It's not like I haven't been aware that I'm attracted to you. I have eyes."

FOX felt his cheeks flush and a nervous chuckle slipping out, finally taking another sip of his wine. It was something to do and also helped take care of his dry mouth. "I love you," he said softly giving her hand a small squeeze, "Just still hard to wrap my head around this actually happening now." He wasn't sure when it would fully sink in that this real, even a little worried what his own reaction would be when it did.

LEILA squeezed his hand back before slowly letting go and getting back to her food. "I love you too," she replied easily, and it was easy for her to say, because of course she loved Ollie. She was just gradually learning exactly how much she loved him. "It's hard for me too. But... I'm not in a rush, you know? We don't have to define what this is yet. I'm happy for us to just see where it goes. As long as we both agree that it's going somewhere."

FOX had let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when she leaned back. Stuck somewhere between disappointed she was far away and relieved that he could think again. He gave her a tentative smile as they both went back to their meals, "Yeah I can agree with that," there was a nagging voice still ever present not to get his hopes up over this, but he tried to shove it aside and focus on the way she was looking at him like he was actually worth trying for. "That lake party's coming up, know we're both likely to get stuck on duty but could at least be stuck on duty together?"

LEILA picked up her glass of wine and had another sip. Briefly, she had the thought that she had spent almost twenty years giving Tricky second chances. She didn't mind waiting for Ollie to accept that she was giving him his first. "Yeah, I'd like that," she replied, picking up the bottle to refill both of their glasses. "I feel like a lot of our future dates are going to be us stuck on duty together. But I don't really mind that. I'm happy as long as I get to spend time with you."

FOX gave her a grateful nod before taking a long sip of his wine, he still felt jittery but was slowly relaxing again with the topic change. "Well least the departments small enough they can't really split us up, and doubt HR is going to give a fuck. Pretty sure that guy is too busy paying DJ's kid in leaves," he said shaking his head. He hesitated before reaching to take one of her hands in his, "I'm happy when it's the two of us, too," he said squeezing her hand.

[saiilorstars]

Ch. 35: From the Darkness

[Story Masterlist] // [Aitana’s Masterlist]

Fandom: Criminal Minds // Pairing: Spencer Reid x OFC

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Aitana sifted through the pile of cases on her desk, trying to organize them as best as she could. Penelope had been kind enough to bring some of the files she was thinking of presenting that week. She'd been a true angel letting Aitana still share the liaison duties while she went to school. Patience was Penelope Garcia in human form. In fact, today was the first day Aitana was back after a series of midterms and Penelope was so kind enough to catch her up on the cases the team had worked on. Aitana had taken off an entire week to focus on her studies so there was a lot to catch up on.

"Hey Aitana," Spencer greeted at the doorway. He'd seen the office door opened and since Aitana had been gone for an entire week, he made the presumption she was finally back today. He was glad he was right. "You're in today!"

"Yeah, I finally finished with my midterms." Aitana gave a distracted wave of her hand. "Thank God."

"That's great!" Spencer said, smiling. "How do you think your exams went?"

"I think pretty good," Aitana admitted rather confidently. She picked up the stack of cases, noting they were indeed massive for just one week she'd missed. "I may have lit a candle to the Virgin Mary for extra luck but I think it went pretty well in the end."

Spencer chuckled. "Really? You really lit a candle?"

"I'm Catholic, Spencer. I have a few tendencies that—" Aitana finally looked up to greet Spencer properly but ended up doing a double-take.

"That what?" Spencer waited patiently.

Aitana blinked out of her stupor and ducked her head. "Uh, you got a haircut…" She felt her entire face warm up like she was on fire. Where the hell is this coming from?

"Hm? Oh, yeah," Spencer shrugged. "Morgan says I keep going for a floppy style and I can't convince him otherwise." He was oblivious to her reaction and Aitana was eternally grateful. He just looked so good...

She managed a smile at him but even then it was short as she focused entirely on calming herself. This wasn't happening, it wasn't, it wasn't... She just...she liked how he looked. That was it. Haircuts changed people's appearances and sometimes for good. That was it. That was all.

"You look good — nice!" Aitana exclaimed, eyes once again wide. "The-the haircut — it's nice." She made haste around her desk, catching sight of the bullpen in the process. "Is Rossi alright?" Her question was perfect to move the conversation along.

"There's something wrong," Spencer said in a matter-of-fact tone. He walked up beside Aitana, both standing in front of the window. The blinds gave them the perfect cover.

"Why do you say that?" Aitana said, figuring afterwards that it was stupid considering their job. Still, Spencer was kind enough to answer her.

"He's been reading the same page for 16 minutes and 24 seconds."

"Oh, um, maybe it's a really good article?"

"It's never taken him longer than 11 minutes, 17 seconds to turn a page."

"I guess that does sound a bit — wait! You time how long it takes us to read a page?" Aitana was flustered all over again. Her head flipped in Spencer's direction.

"Just the things I notice," he shrugged.

"But you — God, don't even tell me how long it takes me." Aitana would rather save herself the embarrassment.

"Okay," said Spencer easily, although a moment later he added in a rushed voice, "But you seem to have a longer time when it comes to Harry Potter."

"What!?" Aitana exclaimed. "Hey! That's not fair! The only times you saw me read those was when I got sick! Of course it would take me more time to read the pages!"

Spencer smiled at her, about to add on that she also tended to reread the same pages a few times on that occasion. He figured she was right about being sick naturally slowing her down. "Right."

Aitana was still rather put out about her time until she saw Rossi again. "He hasn't changed the page," she noted. "What do you think it is?"

"I'm extrapolating probabilities as we speak," Spencer said, taking off when he saw JJ and Emily approaching Rossi.

Aitana quickly left her stack of files on the desk and followed after him. "And still timing, I presume?"

Spencer smirked. "Not anymore."

"...what happened the other night?" Emily had just asked when the two joined the group. Morgan had wandered over as well. Rossi couldn't look more bombarded.

"Something happened the other night?" Aitana repeated, glancing at JJ and Spencer. "What else did I miss?"

"Nothing," Rossi said sharply, "I'm considering a purchase."

"Come on, now, Rossi, you know we're not buying that," Morgan said, "What's really going on?"

Rossi let out a heavy sigh. "Look, it was a late night with Ringo and not enough coffee. I mean, the guy's a world-class drummer, but don't think I didn't wipe the floor with him in a rock band."

Everyone stared with contemplation.

"All right, what do you think?" JJ finally broke the silence. The others around her continued to think for another moment.

"He could be telling the truth," Spencer remarked. "I only played him to the easy level. I can't tell."

Rossi stood up from his seat wearing a smug smile. "And you never will."

"Let's get started," Hotch's voice cut into what was sure to be a promising interrogation. He and Penelope were already waiting near the conference room.

"Saved by the bell," Aitana whispered to Rossi with a quiet chuckle to follow.

"Cerniera lampo," Rossi said shortly as he passed Aitana by.

"What?" Aitana blinked after him.

"He said to zip it," Spencer helped her out, although not with the kindest translation. Aitana was very much indignant and gaped with a wide 'o' shape with her mouth.

~0~

Penelope had all the case files waiting for the group when they entered. "Ok, this is Ridge Canyon Lake in California's Angeles National Forest. It's a popular destination for water sport enthusiasts. Unfortunately, some campers have discovered someone has chosen murder as their sport of choice. Three victims, all male, all found early this morning."

"He used an underwater disposal site?" JJ asked, rather surprised. "That's not very common…"

Penelope hummed, begging to differ based on what she was currently presenting. "Mm-hmm. He weighed them down with rocks and then he hid their bodies underneath shrubbery around the lake's edge."

"That's pretty risky, keeping a graveyard at a popular lake," Morgan remarked, "This guy is showing confidence early."

"Or arrogance," said Aitana on a slip. "I mean...kinda saying 'Hey, I know the lake and you don't'."

"Well, we should run priors in the area. Aitana's right. If he knows the lake well then might not be his first party," Emily said, prompting Penelope to give them more information.

"All 3 victims were reported missing last week, and each of the bodies was discovered more than 30 miles from where they went missing."

"Any indication of sexual assault?" asked Rossi.

"No external signs, but time in the water might have destroyed evidence," said Hotch, "Autopsies are being conducted now."

"And I'm gonna make matters worse," Penelope said before pulling up a picture of a blonde young man on their screen. "This is Nick Skirvin and he was abducted early this morning."

"Witness reports indicate a blitz attack," Hotch said.

"His friends were on the water and saw a figure strike Nick from behind just before they lost contact."

"That's bold," JJ remarked, eyes slightly wide at the news. "In the middle of the day?"

"More arrogance," Aitana continued with her own theory. "Attacking in bright day when there's a group. Could the group give a description?"

"Probably white, definitely male," Penelope said with a sigh. "Nothing more specific. They said the unsub had dragged Nick into the woods by the time they reached the shore."

"Fast and efficient, and he is unafraid of a heavy police presence. If he's dumping the bodies in one location, it's a good bet the area means something to him," Spencer concluded. "He probably lives in or near the forest."

"Unfortunately, Angeles National Forest 1, 016 square miles of terrain, ranging in elevation from 1, 200 to 10, 064 feet," Penelope said, flashing a smirk at Spencer because, yes, she knew numbers too. The brunette in question merely smiled with a shake of his head.

~0~

The plane ride to California was filled with more information on the victims, dumpsites and the natural scenery they were going to be dealing with.

"With no apparent evidence of physical violence or sexual assault, we could be looking at an unsub who gets off on the torture of drowning," Morgan reached his conclusions after going through the case file all over again.

"So what's the significance of the water burial?" asked Emily. "Is he visiting the dump sites to relive his crimes, or is he using it as a forensic countermeasure?"

"It could be both," Hotch reasoned.

"If the dump site's doubling as his trophy collection, he won't be happy it's been disturbed. He'll want to make a new one quickly," Morgan said, quite disturbed himself at the idea of having a whole new dump site to investigate.

Penelope's face flashed on the screen behind the group that came to life. "Uh, guys, I'm afraid that's just happened. Nick Skirvin's body has been recovered, only it wasn't found in Ridge Canyon, it was found in Lake Banter, which is 20 miles away. Visual aid to follow. And postscript, you do not want to know how many hits you get if you Google this forest plus murder. To say it should be called the Angeles National unsub dump site is an understatement."

"How was the body recovered so quickly?" Aitana inquired. She went back through the case file and noted that it had taken several days for the previous victims to be discovered.

"It wasn't way down. Nick's body was just found at the edge of the lake by some campers."

"Garcia, start compiling a list of missing persons and crimes in the area," Hotch instructed.

"Faster than a Hotch rocket!"

The others would have laughed at Penelope's misfortune had it not been for the dark information they'd just learned.

"So the unsub knew that his burial site had been compromised, and he adapted by venturing outside his comfort zone," Spencer reviewed grimly.

"And he changed his victimology. Look at Nick Skirvin compared to the other 3 victims," JJ showed the team the two victims on her tablet, their ID pictures side by side. "They were all dark-haired, well-built men, but Nick is an average blond."

"He could be an impulsive kill, not thought out like the others," Rossi began to think.

"Then why not submerge the body?" countered JJ. " Allowing it to be uncovered so soon seems counterintuitive to the self-preservation instincts he's displayed so far."

"The disturbance of his old disposal site could have thrown him off his game," Emily suggested.

"Or he's trying to shake us. By using another lake, he just doubled the size of his killing field. And our search area," Morgan said, letting his copy of the file close with a thud.

By the time they landed, it was late in the afternoon. The team split up to do some scanning outside and talk to the witnesses they had of their second victim, as well as previous victims' families.

"Alright," Aitana came over with her notes she took of her second interview, "So Phinny, Nick's brother, said that they didn't get a good look at the man. It's like Penelope had said, definitely male and maybe white."

"So basically a big chunk of the demographic here," Emily said with a weary sigh.

"Yeah, pretty much," Aitana let her notes flop on the table beside her. .

JJ walked over a moment later with similar reports. "The Unsub blends in with a younger crowd. I'd say we're looking at mid-20s to early 30s. You?"

"Well, he's methodical. Social, too," Rossi explained what he and Emily had concluded so far. "He's been able to isolate all of his victims. The mother of Jake Shepherd, our first victim, said there were several members of their church at the lake that day. But Jake was the only one with brown hair."

"He matched the age preference of the unsub," realized JJ. They had already made an evidence board to look more closely at the victims. There were some striking similarities at first glance..

"Nick's brother Phinny's a brunette, and he's a lot like these guys," Aitana remarked, "So here's a terrible question I hate to ask but it's part of the job: why not go after him instead?"

Unfortunately it was a good question to ask. It made no sense why their unsub would pick somebody who didn't fit with what seemed to be his preferences.

"I don't know," JJ said finally, breaking the silence that'd fallen over them. "But he chose Nick Skirvin for a reason and we need to figure out why."

When Morgan and Spencer returned from the coronary, they came with the news that their unsub seemed to have a knack of resuscitating victims only to then kill them again.

"It looks like we're definitely looking at a sadist," Emily concluded after listening to the full extent of the victims' injuries.

"Multiple times?" Aitana was down right horrified. Her usually big eyes were even larger the way they were widened. "Killing them once isn't enough — he has to do it multiple times!?"

"Technically, he's resuscitating his victims until he can't bring them back again," Spencer said,, although it wasn't much of a step up.

"So why the change from choking to multiple drowning?" JJ wondered out loud.

"With the damage to Jake's throat, the unsub wasn't able to successfully resuscitate him," Morgan said, "Resuscitating them makes him feel more powerful."

"Which means he has no power in his everyday life," said Hotch.

"But the change in victimology is interesting," said Emily, gesturing towards the pictures of all the Victims on the evidence board. "Nick Skirvin was the smallest, but he had the most defensive wounds on his body. He fought back the most."

"Maybe the unsub was injured in one of the attacks," Rossi offered the idea. "He's targeting easier prey to complete his end game." At the same time, his phone went off and he immediately took off to answer it.

"There's something else," Spencer said, "The M. E. tested diatom levels in the bodies and it turns out the unsub drowns his victims at different locations every time, not just where he abducts them or where the bodies are later discovered."

"Well, that's pretty risky, considering the community's on full alert," Aitana leaned back in her chair, "Not to mention the geography of this place isn't exactly walking in a straight path. This guy's intelligent, resourceful, and criminally sophisticated."

"So why is transporting the bodies so important to him?" Emily asked the winning question. Nobody knew yet, but they had a feeling they would soon.

~0~

The team decided to stay at one of the local hotels the tourists typically did. It was strategic enough to scope out any possible suspect and stay near the location in case another homicide happened. If somebody asked Aitana though, she would say it also included the perfect scenery. Even with the heat already on the rise early in the morning, the scenery was still crazy beautiful. It was she didn't mind being woken up so early. She had a good hour of peace in one of the balconies by the time somebody found her.

"Oh, don't tell me there's another one?" She dreaded the news as soon as she spotted Spencer approaching her. She pulled her leg off the wooden table and straightened up in her seat. "Doesn't this guy rest?"

"I'm pretty sure the answer is no and we'll be discovering another of his scenes very soon but for now I don't come bearing bad news," Spencer assured the brunette. "Just curious how you woke up before me."

Aitana tilted her head at him. "I wasn't aware there was a strict order of how we're supposed to wake up."

Spencer smiled lightly. "Grave mistake," he said sarcastically, "The order goes as follows…" Aitana nodded, gesturing to him to give her the important list that she would of course be clinging to and following. "First Hotch because he hardly ever sleeps during cases anyways. Then me, Rossi, Emily, JJ, you, and then Morgan. Although if you ask Morgan, he's been up for hours."

Aitana's eyebrows knitted together. "That's wrong." She went back to resting her boots on the table.

"What? Why?"

"I would put JJ before Emily and Rossi. She has a kid at home — they're always up at the crack of dawn."

Spencer chuckled. "I guess."

"So wouldn't it make more sense to put her before all of you? Right up with Hotch. Why else do you think he never sleeps either?"

"Jack claims he's a vampire who doesn't need sleep."

It was Aitana's turn to laugh. "Could be plausible. But I also stand by my statement. JJ has to move up on the list."

Spencer considered the idea with a nod of his head. Aitana watched him intently, eyes narrowing slightly as if she were truly waiting for him to tell her that she was right.

"Alright, I think you have a point," Spencer said in the end. "She can go up with Hotch."

"Good," nodded Aitana, "Other than that, you had everyone down to a T, myself included. The only reason I'm up is because my mother called me and she forgot the time difference."

Spencer made a face. "Ooh…that must have sucked."

"Yeah, and me, the woman who couldn't hate mornings more..." Aitana let out a dramatic sigh, even dropping her head against the chair.

"Mornings are actually very peaceful, you know," Spencer remarked, "And being a morning person brings you a lot of benefits."

Aitana scoffed. "Right. Like what?"

"Well, for one, our brains are hardwired to be more alert in the morning so you're able to concentrate a lot better versus if you get up much later. You're more proactive, basically."

"That all sounds great, but—" Aitana yawned and not on purpose, "—why can't I do that at, say, one o'clock?" Spencer smiled down at her. Aitana stretched her arms over her head.

"You could, but your body's biologically designed to be a morning person."

"Not this person, trust me," Aitana said sharply. "My mother knows that but she forgot time zones. And I'm here."

"Do you want a cup of coffee?" Spencer asked instantly. "I grabbed one for me a while back but I can go grab—"

"No, no, it's fine," Aitana said quickly before he could leave. "It's fine, promise. It wasn't a total loss. She called me because of my grandmother."

"Oh, is she alright?" Spencer asked with a genuine touch of concern.

Smiling, Aitana nodded her head and got up. "Yeah, yeah. My mother had the genius idea to tell her that I started participating in the folklore classes again. Remember that?"

Spencer wouldn't remind Aitana that he remembered everything. It was pointless. "Yeah, I do. How are they going, by the way?" He felt guilty for not asking about that more often. It had to be quite a challenge juggling those dance classes with online classes and work.

"Good," Aitana smiled widely, "Our competition is coming up in a couple months and my mother told my grandmother about it. She was so happy to hear I was doing that again. She and my family in Mexico, um, they don't really know about my time in WIP. All they knew was that I took some time off work, that was it."

"Right." Spencer wasn't surprised they would go down that route when it came to delicate seniors and distant family. It was for the best. "Well, at least she's happy, then?"

"Yes, but...my grandmother's got the crazy idea to come and see it herself — my competition."

Spencer's eyes widened. "She wants to travel to see the competition in person?"

"Yeah," Aitana let out a long breath. "That'll make me more nervous. My grandmother used to do Folklore dancing professionally. She knows everything about everything and now she's coming to watch me...me…" Utter fear etched across Aitana's face. "I haven't danced in about three years. What if I'm terrible?"

"I don't think you will be," Spencer said on instinct, even shrugging and making him look far more casual than he intended to. Plus, he vividly remembered Elia's comment about Aitana being far too humble when it came to their dancing. As far as he knew, Aitana was a good dancer. "If you've danced before Witness Protection then you'll be good in the competition. Is this the first time she's watching you?"

"No, but it's just been such a long time…"

"Then don't think about the timing, think about the dancing. You seemed to have fun."

"I do?" Aitana scrunched her face. "How do you know that?"

Spencer blinked. His mind immediately went to the picture that Elia had shown him the first time he and Emily visited her. Aitana and Elia were dressed to the nines in traditional folklore dresses, each wearing wide smiles. Although if somebody were to ask Spencer, he would say that Aitana's smile seemed far bigger than that of her best friend's.

"Uh...I, uh just thought you would…" Spencer awkwardly cleared his throat, having no idea why he felt so awkward.

Aitana didn't pay much attention to Spencer's flushed face. She was too busy getting past her nerves. "I haven't seen my grandparents since before I went into Witness. If I mess it up — I don't even want to think about it."

"You won't mess up," Spencer insisted. "Who knows, you might even win." Aitana laughed at the prospect. "I'm serious. I'll be there reminding you when you have the first prize ribbon."

"It's a trophy."

"I'll be there when you win the first prize trophy."

Aitana hummed. It was nice hearing someone had faith in her beside her dance team. They had to have faith in her because they practiced together for the same team. Aitana eventually met Spencer's glance and couldn't help her laugh again. That, in turn, caused Spencer to laugh with her.

JJ found them in that state and almost regretted having to come up and interrupt whatever moment they were having. "There's another victim," she announced. "Reid, Hotch wants us to head to the coroners. Aitana, you to the precinct to talk to the victim's friends. Emily and Rossi are going there now."

"Right," Aitana said, adjusting her blouse. She felt slightly warm and it wasn't that hot yet. "I'll see you guys, then." She gave Spencer a smile on her way that he matched.

JJ waited the exact time she needed to make her comment within safety distance. "Didn't mean to interrupt…"

The smile that marked Spencer's face vanished in an instant. "Don't start."

"I won't," JJ said, turning to walk with him. "...but if you want my advice, a nice dinner would be so much better—"

"You said you wouldn't start!" Spencer snapped but his voice cracked in the end, making it impossible for JJ not to laugh. "Shut up!"

~0~

The victim turned out to be a woman this time around, completely different from all the previous victims. Due to the significant decrease in strength and blood from the unsub, both Spencer and JJ were able to deduce quickly that the unsub was getting weaker himself to haul victims across the land. The unsub was getting sick and sicker. As such, the unsub had lesser probabilities to resuscitate his victims.

After the team gave the profile, Aitana busied herself with the next set of procedures. She sifted through several pictures, acknowledging the sound of footsteps growing closer. "Do you think it would be easier if I just went undercover at the lakes?" she put down the pictures on the table and glanced over her shoulder and saw JJ and Spencer. "Oh, sorry, I thought you were Rossi."

"Where is he?" JJ looked around the lonesome conference room.

"Ah, moping somewhere." Aitana grabbed the photographs off the table and turned around, speaking before either JJ or Spencer could say something. "I know he's upset about something. He never mopes and much less in a grimy office over there."

"We saw Emily coming in," said Spencer, "I'm assuming she's doing the talking?"

Aitana nodded. "Yeah. Meanwhile, I'm trying to figure out what cops would be the best UCs to send out to the lakes but I'm thinking I should just go. I know what we're looking for. Besides, these cops are all so young. Like, a lot."

"So are you," Spencer said quickly, coming over to pluck the pictures out of Aitana's hands.

Aitana laughed. "Yeah, not in comparison to them. I'm 27. But it's like I said, I know what we're looking for. Better to place me out there than some poor cop."

"Not happening," Spencer said, all too plain and simple. He took the pictures of the UC candidates like that was all it took to stop Aitana's crazy plan.

Aitana helplessly looked over at JJ for some assistance but the blonde threw her hands up in front of her. With a groan, Aitana sunk down in the nearest chair. "You guys are crazy."

A short while after, Spencer received a call from the coroner with news of the unsub's health. He waited until the team rejoined to relay the message. "Dr. Carroll says preliminary test results show the unsub has cancer of the blood. He's dying."

"All right, wait a minute," Morgan called, "Witnesses said Jake Shepherd, the first victim, was out on the lake for a baptism, right? He was with his congregation. Well, those water burials can be seen as a form of baptism, too. Especially dealing with an unsub who has a God complex. What if there's a religious or spiritual motivation to why the unsub is doing this?"

"It would work well with the CPR," said Aitana, though her nose was scrunching at the remaining holes of the theory. "But it's contrasting deeply with religion unless he's sacrificing them for some rituals."

"Let's start with the type of illness the unsub has," Hotch redirected, "If it is for a ritual or other religious motive, it might help narrow it down." He moved for the room phone and dialed in Penelope's number.

"Speak and be heard!" came Penelope's voice a moment later.

"Garcia, I need you to pull a list of patients in the area with any form of blood cancer."

"I will make HIPAA my bitch, sir!"

The others playfully shook their heads. Penelope always had a way with words.

"We also need information on Jake Shepherd. Religious ties, spiritual background, anything."

"Oh, all that information will make for a fast search. Give me a mo...spiritual, something heaven sent, other than my angelic self!" Penelope went silent for a couple minutes before coming back with a sharp 'bam'. "Whoa…Jake Shepherd joined the church after a near-death experience changed his life."

"What happened to him?" asked Emily. Everyone was now listening intently..

"He was in an ATV accident, he coded for 4 minutes, he was life-flighted to L.A. where they managed to revive him, but clinically he did die."

"Death and resuscitation. That sounds a little too similar to our unsub's M. O. to be a coincidence," Rossi said, the others nodding in agreement.

"All right, Garcia, dig deeper," instructed Hotch. "Jake Shepherd's death wasn't random."

"It's on like Obi-Wan!" Penelope dutifully replied. "Garcia out."

"So a terminally ill unsub targets a man who came back from the dead and then starts killing repeatedly…" JJ summarized with the simplest terms

It always helped the thought process. Most, if not all, of their cases typically had a simple cause and effect.

Morgan soon reached a conclusion. "Am I crazy, or is this about a guy trying to come to terms with his own death?"

"Finding out you're gonna die isn't enough to make somebody a psychopath," Emily said.

"But it could happen," Aitana pointed, "Knowing you're going to die gives you the feeling you have nothing to lose."

"But in this sense, it seems more like he's trying to find out about death," Spencer remarked, "It does explain why he stopped strangling his victims. How do you find out about death? You ask someone who died."

Deep horror flashed across Aitana's face. "Is he bringing these victims back so he can talk to them?" On second thought, she decided she would rather not know until they had concrete evidence. That was just beyond cruel and unusual.

~0~

Penelope was back on the line only a half hour later. "Jeepers, the more I dig, the more peculiar it gets. Ok, the first victim, Jake Shepherd, had an interesting life, and I'm using interesting in place of the phrase, 'He was a big hoodlum.' He had a history of truancy, petty theft, domestic disturbances, all of which landed him in the juvenile hall for some stints during high school, as you can imagine."

"Was there trouble at home?" asked Morgan.

"Not at all. Jake just fell in with the wrong crowd."

"What kind of crowd?"

"The drug and sexy parties kind. But all of that changed after his accident 6 months he…"

"Died," JJ finished for Penelope but apparently the latter had something different.

"Oh...he didn't just die. He was saved. Jake Shepherd saw the light, like literally. He spoke of a gentle light and a silhouetted figure bathed in warmth who welcomed him but told him it wasn't his time. He woke up a changed man. He believed."

"If this unsub is so obsessed with death, then Jake Shepherd was the perfect person to talk to," Rossi realized as did the rest of the team. "He'd been there and back again."

"But come on, guys," Morgan said with an air of incredulity. "Gentle lights, shadowy figures? Those are the lights in the emergency room and the doctors hovering over the patients. We all know that. No one actually sees the afterlife."

"I did," Spencer said calmly and yet claimed the entire team's attention with just those two words. "Before Tobias Hankel resuscitated me, I had that exact experience. And I wasn't in an emergency room. I was in a shed." He knew what saying those words would mean and for the others but at the same time, after years of keeping that a secret, it felt like relief was finally washing over him for admitting to it.

"Reid, you never told me that…" JJ said with wide, blinking eyes.

"I'm a man of science. I didn't know how to deal with it," Spencer said. That was the fact and he was only now admitting it. He supposed in the past he couldn't bring himself to the fact because of everything else he believed in. Plus, nobody had ever dealt with it so why would he bring it up? "There's no quantifiable proof that God exists, and yet, in that moment I was faced with something that I couldn't explain. I still can't."

"What if this unsub has had a similar experience and this is his way of looking for answers?" Emily theorized and looking at what they had now, it wasn't such a stretch.

"If that's the case, why kill Jake Shepherd? Why not just talk to him?" said Rossi.

"Well, we could circle back to, science…" Aitana drew in a breath as she crossed glances with Spencer, "He could be theorizing. Maybe he wanted to see if he had the same experience as before."

"Once isn't enough?" Morgan almost scoffed.

"Not if Jake didn't see the same thing the unsub did," said Hotch, "He wants to know if the experience can change."

"I can relate to that," Emily said suddenly, "Reid felt a warmth and saw a light. When I coded in the ambulance, all I felt was cold and darkness. And I would like to think that there's a different future waiting for me."

Like before, silence fell over the team.

"You actually died?" Aitana whispered. She felt goosebumps on her skin. The things she came to learn about her friends with these cases was downright horrible sometimes.

"All right, but resuscitation is hit or miss," Morgan said. "He can't guarantee that he can actually bring anyone back, let alone that anyone will remember what happened in their moment so-called death."

"Reid, what's the best way to make sure his victims had an experience?" Hotch asked,, thinking this was the only path they had left to follow.

Spencer felt terrible with the answer but he had to say it or else they wouldn't get anywhere. "Keep them dead longer."

Grim enough.

Moments later, things got even more grim. It sounded like the unsub had gotten himself not one victim but two. Samantha Braun and her son, Evan, were missing.

"He's abducted two at once. He needs a spot on the lake where he can control them," Hotch was saying as the team looked into possible locations. "Somewhere isolated that gives him the time he needs for his resuscitation ritual. How would he keep them dead longer, Reid?"

"There's a saying in the medical community that you're not dead until you're warm and dead," Spencer said slowly, doing his best not to let the words affect him. It was strange. He was always able to spit out information like, as Aitana said, a well. But these words hit close to home. "Colder water temperatures could lead to hypothermia, which would offer the best chance for successful reanimation."

"Sounds like we gotta get some Garcia back in this…" Aitana sing-sang until the woman in question came back through the speaker line.

"Give it to me, baby!"

Aitana smiled to herself. She did like being complimented from time to time. "Okay, our unsub's got two more victims and he's most likely taking them to the coldest part of Ridge Canyon Lake. We need to intercept him. What have you got?"

"Ok, checking water temperatures! Now we have several cold spots."

Aitana wondered how hard Penelope's computer had to be if they could all hear the pinging from their end of the line.

"What's with the pinging, Penelope?" called Morgan.

"The colder spots just matched the most recent victims' diatom levels. The unsub's been getting colder and colder the whole time."

"Cross-reference water temperatures with your list of prior deaths in the area," instructed Hotch. "This lake means something to him other than cold water. If he died once before, there should be a report about it or another trauma that keeps him rooted here."

"We both thought that he could be a first responder or knows the area well, so cross with your list of local law enforcement and park officials," Morgan added on.

Penelope had results within minutes.. "Oh, God. Daniel Whitaker was murdered 15 years ago. He was a park attendant. His dock was in the coldest part of Ridge Canyon Lake."

"And who killed him, Garcia?" asked Jj, figuring they would already know this.

"His son, Chase. Daniel physically assaulted his son and then buried him alive when he was 16. There was no mom in the picture. Chase got off light. He got out at 18."

"Garcia, check his medical history," Rossi directed. The pieces were already beginning to fall together.

"Chase was diagnosed with lymphoma when he was 10. It went into remission when he was 12, but a few months ago he was diagnosed with stage 4 and he's been given 3 months to live."

"And there's our trigger," Aitana put her hands together on the table. "The idea of having to face death again must be what sent him over the edge. The guy's been haunted his whole life by whatever he experienced that night. Penelope, address please?"

"On it my Sprinkles!"

Aitana smiled.

When Penelope delivered the address, the team was quick to arrange themselves and head out. They struck luck finding the unsub as soon as they pulled up by the lake. They only had to pull Chase from his current victim, Evan. Evan's mother was already passed out on the dock.

"I need answers!" Chase exclaimed as he held Evan at gunpoint.

"There are no answers, Chase!" Morgan said, being the closest to Chase. "Nobody gets to know what happens when we die. That's why people have faith."

"Faith in what?" snapped Chase. "My life has been one nightmare after another."

Behind the Morgan and Hotch were the others who, whole being dead silent, were mutually trying to find a weak point of Chase. Standing at the dock didn't allow for much sneaking around.

Thankfully, between Morgan, Hotch and Emily, they were able to talk Chase down. As soon as they could, they grabbed Chase and stuffed him in the back of a police car. He would be getting a decent sentencing.

~0~

"So did we ever find out why Rossi was mopey face all these days?" JJ quietly whispered to the group on their way to the elevator. They had finally finished the tedious paperwork of the case and were heading home.

"Yeah, uh…" Emily stopped the group for a moment, her eyes sweeping over them in search of Rossi. It was stupid, really, given that Rossi had headed out the first chance he got. "It's his first wife. She's, well, not doing well. And she had the idea to ask Rossi to...help."

"Help?" Aitana raised an eyebrow. "With what, exactly?"

Emily wouldn't say it out loud — the idea was very grim even for her — but the look in her eyes was able to relay it all.

"Oh gosh," Penelope shuddered. "She wants Rossi to help with that?" Emily nodded silently.

"Well, I think Rossi's behavior is more than justified," Morgan said, letting out a breath.

"Don't say anything, please," Emily's request was more than agreed upon.

"We'll just be around when he's ready," Spencer said and had the agreeing nods of the others. They all knew that with that kind of news, it would only be a matter of time until Rossi really did come to need them.

A/N:

just wanna say that Aitana is way stronger than me because one silly little haircut and I would've folded for that nerdy man *insert heart emoji here*

As always, I have Fanfic/Wattpad accounts under "noblecrescent" and a tumblr account under "saiilorstars" if you'd like to follow :)