#So I crumpled up the paper like
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It didn't sink in at the time, I mean these things never really do, but being told by my sister that my art has "plateau'ed" and that I need to seek out life drawing classes because I don't want to quote, stagnate, has about the same delayed poison as my father telling me when I was 17 that all I draw are cute lil' cartoons but ya can't pay your bills with cute lil' cartoons.
Both obviously trying to sound constructive and yet, tone deaf and crushing, gosh sure do hope this doesnt slither into my brain and I don't draw anything else for another 8 years but.
#She was on a roll with the crushing criticisms today overall#And kinda made me feel like Im JUST a drone#But the art criticism like#Really hit me much later as Im sitting there trying to draw in my pad#And nothing looked right#So I crumpled up the paper like#Sweet! Fantastic! Trashing this!#And just gave up on art tonight and turned on my PS4#I mean#Love her#Really#She is exactly like dad in a hundred ways#But also it feels like my art is silly and childish at baseline#And its never going to improve so#Why should I try#Sigh
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i hate perspective. happy new years also
#i wanted to do something with j as a new years post but didnt have the patience to actually get it done#so instead i just went with what i was already drawing#nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi nuvi#finally i've been able to draw this robo god damn ship#it has been clouding my mind for MONTHS#and i've finally been able to draw it#trying to color and slightly shade for the first time in. a while#violentbitingbiscuits#nuvi#nuziv#theres five hundred names for this ship dude#can you fandom people get it together and just settle on one#drew half of this last night and the other half today and surprisingly did not hate what i got done yesterday#amazing. can my mind do that for all my other art instead of despising it once a 5 hour timer is up#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#i love the concept that uzi crumples like tissue paper when given any affection#v pfp is an old sketch i dont think i posted on here dont mind it
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still not over it
#every now and then i remember how small cloud is and i just wanna. pick him up by the scruff of his neck and jingle him like some keys#god he's just so. GHRRRGGRRHHH *CRUMPLES HIM INTO A BALL LIKE PAPER*#ffvii#cloud strife#zack fair#zakkura
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Y'know, that thing about stealing/taking/being given one of your boyfriend's hoodies? Yeah.
I've done it twice myself lol. If you saw the hoodies you'd understand, they're very comfy.
#lawsan#one piece#black leg sanji#trafalgar law#trafalgar d water law#suggestive#recycle bin#I also have a surplus of hand-me-downs from my uncle that are very nice and make up most of my clothes (I haven't had to shop in years)#“this belonged to me and I loved it and I love you too so I'm giving it to you now” is such a genuine heartfelt expression#it makes me crumple like wet tissue paper#yes I have thoughts about the straw hat as a form of this
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hey have you heard of insane person codependent ghostkicks qpr. would you like to. there are hands going places they probably shouldn't yeah no definitely not where you're thinking either.
#dakota voice my best friend is so frustrating i NEED to shake him back and forth between my teeth like a chew toy i NEED to crumple#him up like a page of notebook paper. etc.#what doesn't kill you makes you weird as hell at intimacy. feat. alternating points of view#& dakota self loathing and complete lack of emotional competence but only when it comes to himself.#YAY. this was so fun 2 write im thinking abt them foreverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. art + nhw time now that this is done :]]]]#ros fic
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He sees all, especially the comfort in that box.
#< w >#owl eye boy#frankie files#hes doing really well lately!!!#since his last vet visit they changed his meds#removed one and added something called Vetmedin#its expensive and vet exclusive because it was made for dogs#but hes perked up so much and runs around all day and yells all day#and sits on my head when im sleeping and bites my hair when im sleeping#and demands outside time EVERYDAY even tho its VERY COLD#but god i love him so much im so so happy hes feeling more himself ; w ;#i was so worried about his health... im glad hes doing better#this guy takes more meds every day than i do man#had to get him his own med organizer but its helped a lot#hes got expensive meds and expensive food but lord i love that expensive beast so much#hes 12 this year i believe :3#saw an Insta reel that someoen crumpled news paper balls or whatever into a box#then tossed some treats in and he loves it#loves to sit in it. loves to snurff around like a hog looking for truffles#good entertainment for a guy thats not super interested in most toys#anyway hes so fucking handsome. witness my baby boy#you look at this huge man and you wonder what he sounds like#and its the highest little baby boy meows . so sweet
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GUYS I JUST WATCHED A VIDEO OF JJK MAHITO COVERING RENAI CIRCULATION AND IT WAS SO GOOD AND SO CUTE AND I LITERALLY CRIED AND SCREAMED WHILE WATCHING IT BECAUSE I LOVE MAHITO SO MUCH I WAS WAILING IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE KITCHEN BECAUSE OF A SILLY SERIAL KILLER SINGING A CUTE SONG
#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#MAHITOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#MY BABY#KDJDJJCEIHDDH28SHROKWJDIDUDH2IN]^oOLAO02PSMZZMXNMXNCA#jjk mahito#my baby 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WANT TO RIP HIS LIMBS OFF VIOLENTLY AND CRUMPLE HIM UP LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER AND FLING HIM INTO THE SUN
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making Vivienne's character sheet was way harder than I thought ☠️ (yes, she has a real name now folks!)
the uncoloured version is under the cut :)

#lmao not tumblr crumpling up my .jpeg's photo quality like a piece of crinkly paper#guys i had so much trouble painting her merc outfit idk why 😭😭#and it was tough trying to paint her consistently (I need to work on that so it comes more naturally!!)#but i really enjoyed dressing her up like a barbie doll though#fem v friday#female v#cyberpunk 2077 oc#cyberpunk 2077 v#corpo v#cyberpunk 2077#cyberpunk 2077 fanart#cp2077#cp77#character design#character sheet#digital art#my art#bishiart#oc: vivienne
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The Last Letter From Your Lover is AMAZING OHHHH MY GOOOODDD
#k chats#k watches#LIKKKKEEE#HOLY FUCK#CALLUM TURNER I AM SO SORRY I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAMMMMEEE SIRRRR#the last letter from your lover#i’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here or whatever taylor side#SOMEBODY SEND ME FICS#TELL ME WHICH SHIP IS GETTING THE AU#FUCK#beautiful outfits the acting chewed chemistry gave the BIGGEST buzz like
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Using the possibility that I have the slightest influence over this bitch of a universe to put this out there
I got hit, absolutely bodied, with the thought of a mayoi version of the deco*27 song the vampire about a month ago and I have not been the same since
Also I cannot stress enough that I’m insanely proud of this??? Genuinely didn’t expect it to be this good, I don’t know what happened
Anyway Happy Birthday to my babygirl, love of my life, poor little meow meow man, I would die for you and this is a threat <3
#MAYOI VAMPIRE COVER WHEN PLEASE GOD I NEED IT#I’ve been looking for covers that are close to his voice but there aren’t many TwT#actually so not normal about him#I need to crumple him up like paper and stuff him in my mouth#rubbing my face affectionately on him#twirling my hair and making him pancakes#I’m going to make him a cake today why not#mayoi ayase#ensemble stars#ensemble stars mayoi#enstars mayoi#enstars#deco27#vocaloid#THIS FUCKING CLOSE TO TRYING TO MAKE AN UTAU OF HIM BC IM INSANE#my husband is so beautiful <3333
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Thinking about a time when Clown said that one of the first things Wally learned was how to hold things gently, carefully. So that he didn't break them
#help i'm still figuring out how to draw frank!!#he just sees frank's reaction and is like oh!!#i think that he doesnt even realize that this is bad untill he sees how horrified frank is#wally darling#frank frankly#welcome home#whps#i love that his expression doesnt even change at all#i love wally so much ahahaha#his little face makes me smile so so big aaaaa!#ahh well he did a little oopsie nbd#apparently clown said this on a stream#jazzsketches#i rly like how i drew frank in the first panel but i struggled trying to replicate that#im getting really comfy with canon style wally but i want to stylize everyone else ahahaha#i want to give frank glasses#he deserves them#i want to do to wally what he did to the butterfly but affectionately#my loving gaze never changing as i crumple him up like a wad of paper#do i put a warning? no butterflies were harmed in the making lmaooo#my sketches are so light uwaaaa even with editing you can barely see frank in the first panel
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teru minamoto you make me sick
#i need to crumple him up like a piece of paper and then uncrumple him so that hes all distorted and warbled yknow??#and put him through a paper shredder#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jshk#teru minamoto#sorry this might seem like a sudden violence towards him#but i assure you this has been going on for as long as i have known of him#and that he is actually one of my faves in the series#hes my blorbus mcbingus supreme#i am the most normal about him out of any other characters in the cast no? :))))))))))#look i havent been keeping up since ch100- once i catch up its over#i know there is a bit of teru content in there and i will be normal about it#anyways this was brought on by the new official art on aidairos twt#hes so pathetic i need to throw him in the ocean#maybe a swamp#sorry that was the end of my essay literally do not think too hard about any of these tags ok good
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A VALENTINE’S APPLICATION.
your name: kishinami hakuno.
your age: 20, i think.
your perfect date: i don't know.
make out in private or in public?: that would be too initimate.
do you like to cuddle?: i don't know, but this would also be too intimate.
tell me something about you: there's nothing to say.
why do you want to be my valentine?: i don't know. why not?
...
❛ this application is bound to be rejected. ❜ at least she's self aware ?!
#&&. in chara#h.akuno: 😐 -crumples up the paper and tosses it-#TIS THE REASON WHY I CANT SEND ANY OF THESE MEMES IN TBH 😭✌️ (THEYRE SO CUTE THO!!!)#i feel like h.akuno is like that.... she'd spare u the trouble of giving her the boot and just politely excuse herself u_u#but at the same time i wonder if she's doing it to avoid the sting of rejection too...... who knows 😶🌫️#(<- person who is writing her) (i'm still trying to understand her character tho /weepss)#SHE IS SO INTERESTING 2 ME OKOK#🧐 probably depends on da muse..... but it's hard to convey when it's purely h.akuno answering yknow#h.akuno's rlly self-aware but she is also not 👍 hope that helps
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Sniff
#connor speaks#NO BUT. Thank you for taking the time to write this I am genuinely so fascinated by this. I feel like that’s Not the normal response but.#I feel. Seen.#Crumples up into a paper ball EIUUGHHS EICH EICK EVK I WAS EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE#I had a visceral reaction to writing that 3rd tag I’m. Well. There’s something wrong with me
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Day 15 - portentous - G - Cahsi + Altani + Luvon
Summary: Cahsi, Altani, and Luvon explore some ruins. Luvon feels like a mom wrangling his two children.
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Luvon had been chattering away to his fairy, tens of yalms in front of his tank and caster, unaware how far they trailed behind. The healer was not supposed to lead the pack, but these ruins were supposed to be void of beasts, so he hadn’t been worried about that.
The three of them had a simple mission: to reach the final chamber of the temple of Rhalgr to take pictures and aetheric readings for a small group of Sharlayan researchers who did not have the stipend required to travel so far from home to Gyr Abania Also, there was still danger inherent to stepping foot into any ancient dungeon, whether actively infested or not. It was a perfect job for three intrepid adventurers who had retired from saving the world for the time being and had no other pending matters. “Stop.” The lalafell’s light chatter ceased, cutting himself off. It was a command, one of those rare times Luvon took on an authoritative tone. The word snapped out of him with as much force as one of his punches.
It was enough of a shock to work, Altani and Cahsi freezing mid-step, waving their arms about to keep balance. It seemed like the sort of situation one might whisper for, so Cahsi asked in her smallest voice (better her, as Altani’s whispering was like a standard person’s regular volume): “What’s up?” “I do believe I just heard a most portentous click.” The lalafell at the front of their group stood stock-still apart from the slight swivel of his ears. He did not turn around to address them. Do be quiet, though, as I am listening for more, he did not need to say. Cahsi and Altani shared a knowing look at the back of the group as Luvon continued listening. The red mage and warrior began playing a silent game of rock paper scissors at a rapid pace, best two out of three. Altani lost, as always (Cahsi had faster reactions and always used that to cheat, not that the au ra was aware--and she need not find out anytime soon, either). Well drat. Altani cleared her throat in preparation-- Luvon shushed her, tail swishing agitatedly, but she ignored him. “Lu, I think I know what caused that.” That did make his head swivel around, one eyebrow raised, head tilted to the side. “You do? Please, share with the class, Tani” Answering a question with a question wasn’t likely to earn her any points, especially when he brought out the sarcasm, but they weren’t ready to fess up. “Remember how you told us not to touch anything until we got to the final chamber?” Luvon picked up what she was putting down, if his sigh of restrained exasperation was anything to go by. He probably knew from her tone of voice alone before he asked. He was scarily perceptive like that, the guilt clear as day.
Cahsi, bless her soul, stepped in to help. An attempt was made. “It was a joint effort, really. The statues back there were awfully dusty--” “--we didn’t even take them, honest, just wanted to see them shine! This place is so gloomy--” “--too heavy to be worth stealing, my backpack is way too full for ancient pointy relics--” “Alright, so I dusted a little bit too hard, I think, the head came right off--”
“--was more interested in reading the plaques underneath, it was a matter of education--” “Can’t really blame me for the craftsmanship, can you? Would love to ask the goldsmiths of eld--” “But it turns out the echo doesn’t work with such eroded text. I have no idea what they said. What a waste of effort!”
“The small holes that appeared in the sides of the walls were the perfect size to put the head, so I thought ‘why not’--” Luvon finally cut them off. “Holes? In the walls?” Both of them nodded. “Now that you mention it, Tani, those are new, aren’t they.” “I said what I said, Cas, I can be good at observation just like you!”
Luvon’s face morphed from slight annoyance to a much more familiar emotion for him: nervousness. He had excellent hearing, but visual details often escaped him. The holes had appeared in preparation, but he only noticed the danger after it was already set in motion. At least they knew what kind of trap they were working with. Which they absolutely were--the mechanism was live, and the time wasted on their drawn out confession meant one click turned into multiple as old gears started turning. They only had a few moments before--
“Run. Now!” Luvon yelled. With a quick cast of expedient, they were granted a burst of speed. He shielded them for good measure and tethered the fairy to Altani (the biggest and slowest target), unsure how deadly the projectiles would be. He got esuna ready and flipped and spun his way through the rest of the corridor at top speed, neatly dodging each point that came his way. He wished he could say the other two were as efficient with their dodging. They were further behind than him, to be fair. More chances to be hit. Cahsi yelped and Altani yowled (or maybe the other way around?), shouts of ‘ow ow ow!’ echoing down the hall. The shields broke, and as suspected, the spears were tipped with poison--but they made it through. Unscathed, no, but Luvon had healed worse. One dungeon trap wouldn’t do any of them in, even if he had been a monk at the time. Luvon let his fairy do the rest of the healing once they were out of the danger zone. He crossed his arms and tapped his foot expectantly as Altani pulled a spear tip out of her side scales and Cahsi smoothed down her hair. They were smeared with blood and neutralized poison, looking scruffy but none the worse for wear. This time, Cahsi volunteered to speak up first. “We should have listened to you.” It hurt her pride to admit she’d done something foolish (and likely would do it again, her impulsive nature hadn’t been curbed in all her years of adventuring, and she doubted this minor encounter would change that).
Luvon, pleasantly surprised, should have known better. She wasn’t done. “But…it all worked out! So all’s well that ends well!” To her side, Altani gave a fist bump to the fairy, who reciprocated it jovially. A rather terrible apology, all things considered, but the lack of caution was understandable. This encounter wouldn’t rank in the top hundred of dangerous situations they’d been in. They’d fought and defeated gods--on multiple occasions!--so there was little to fear from some abandoned ruins. Sure, they'd given him a scare, but that's what was expected of his role: mortal fear.
Being a healer could be so stressful, but it was the job he signed up for, especially knowing how those two acted around each other. Barely better than children. Luvon rubbed a hand over his face, clearing his eyes of the dusty grit that pervaded these ruins. “Take care, just a smidge more restraint, that is all that I ask--” When he opened his eyes again, the miqo’te was gone. “Where did she sneak off to?” Altani was playing rock paper scissors with the fairy during that (the fairy was winning 5-1), and the empty spot where Cahsi had been responded with silence. Altani and the fairy shrugged as the score became 6-1, and then he got his answer in the form of a nearby shout that echoed around the corner. “Turns out the ruins are haunted!” The faraway voice got closer. Altani, preoccupied with losing yet another round of rock paper scissors, didn’t bother reaching for their axe yet. “You pull it, you tank it!” she yelled back as Cahsi screamed. Luvon pinched the bridge of his nose and motioned the fairy to follow him. He signed up for this. He did. He wanted to be the healer, insisted on it. “Use vercure until I get there!” He yelled to Cahsi. Then, to Altani, he wordlessly grabbed her wrist and pulled with a strength nobody would expect from his small body. The au ra nearly tripped from the force of it, getting the message loud and clear.
They grabbed their axe and provoked the ghosts (she’d do a ritual for their passing later, poor things. But right now, it was time to kick ass.)
#ffxivwrite2023#ffxivwrite#ffxiv oc#mango writes#luvon is a patient guy but he is the suffering healer lol. he is so serious about safety and they are so not :P#cahsi and altani would be such a force of chaos together. They both love to rush into things and take on the world.#at least altani is built for taking a hit. cahsi crumples like tissue paper and luvon tries to be her impulse control.#they all get along but in dungeons luvon is like that tour guide who has a rigid plan and wants to go slow and those two have no patience#forced to be the mom character of the group and step up. meanwhile in dnd he was plenty chaotic himself and got into enough trouble :'D#anyway whenever I write these 3 as cowols it gets so silly. I love it. Luvon as a WoL becomes SCH in addition to CNJ for better heals#no beta we die like loisoix#cahsi theia#altani#luluvon luvon
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me saying viper/adder-like is me going dragon io has a headshape like this + just add horns


#→ 𝙸𝙸. 𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙿𝙴𝙽𝚂. ⟩⟩ so far away from the world that buried me. ❞���#snake tw#gripping this post so tight i'm crumpling it like a piece of paper#i just think venomous snakes have the most aesthetically pleasing profiles/head shapes#out of (almost) any animal#next in the list for me is jaguars and leopards#just. something about the shapes/curves/lines idk!#anyway imagine a giant fucking snake like this staring you down#which is utterly terrifying/cool when you learn about how well humans can spot snakes bc it's an evolutionary advantage#like#ur hardwired to be able to spot danger! snake!#now whether you run away or go WHOA COOL immediately after that is entirely up to the person lmao
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