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oddyseye · 6 months ago

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super interesting to read your takes on Epic! was wondering if you ever read Madeline Miller's Circe and if yes, what were your thoughts on it?

Yes, I’ve read Circe. I actually read a PDF online, but I recently found the actual book! Not that it was a smart decision to waste money on a book I’ve already read, but eh...What’s a girl to do... Anyway, it’s fine, I guess, if you’re into that sort of thing. Y’know, the whole “I took a Greek myth and turned it into a sanitized Pinterest board” vibe. Madeline Miller’s writing? Solidly meh. It’s not the revelatory prose the internet insists it is, but sure, it’s readable. Circe is, at its core, an interpretation of myth tailored for modern consumption. It’s accessible, marketable, and easy for readers to feel clever about loving. That’s fine! But it’s not the tour de force some fans seem to think it is.

Miller’s prose is polished, sure, but it’s also overly workshopped. It’s the kind of writing you’d expect from someone who graduated at the top of her MFA class, not from someone channeling the raw energy of myth. Myths are messy, strange, and wild. Miller’s style, in comparison, feels sanitized and controlled, like she’s so afraid of losing her grip on the narrative that she cuts away anything that might add texture or complexity. It’s the literary equivalent of a curated Instagram feed: nice to look at, but lacking depth.

Then there’s Circe herself. Miller does try to give her more agency, and I respect the effort to center her voice in a way the original myths didn’t. But the execution? Kind of frustrating. Circe starts out promising — turning men into pigs is such an iconic power move, and her fury feels righteous. But just when we think she’s found her strength, here comes Odysseus, and suddenly the narrative shifts. She’s no longer the fearsome witch-goddess carving out her own place in the world; she’s softened by the love of a clever man. And let’s be real: Odysseus isn’t just any man. He’s a walking bundle of red flags, even by Greek myth standards. He lies, manipulates, and cheats, and yet somehow, we’re supposed to believe that after Circe has been burned by men over and over again, this is the guy she opens her heart to? It’s not just about him, though — it’s what his arrival represents. The story moves from “Circe standing on her own” to “Circe defined by her relationship with Odysseus.” And for a book marketed as a feminist retelling, that feels like such a cop-out. And then...Telemachus.

I get why Miller paired him with Circe. Symbolically, it works. He’s everything Odysseus never was. Their relationship is clearly meant to be this balm, a quiet resolution after all the stormy chaos of Circe’s life. And I’ll admit, it’s sweet in a way that sneaks up on you. But does it feel entirely earned? Not really. The thing is, their bond develops too neatly, almost like it’s checking off a box labeled “Happy Ending.” Telemachus shows up, all sweet and thoughtful, and we’re supposed to believe Circe would just open her heart to him after everything she’s been through? I’m not saying she doesn’t deserve love, she absolutely does, but where’s the tension? Where’s the hesitation? This is a woman who’s spent centuries in isolation, surviving betrayal after betrayal. Shouldn’t there be a little more conflict in letting someone like Telemachus in, no matter how gentle he is?

That said, I can’t deny the appeal. Telemachus stepping away from his father’s shadow and finding peace with Circe does have a certain poetic justice to it. And the moments between them are undeniably tender — there’s a quiet power in the idea of two scarred people finding solace in each other. It’s just that, for all its cuteness, their relationship feels more like an epilogue than an integral part of the story. It’s nice, and it is sweet, but it doesn’t quite feel alive. Telegonus is...a plot device. Literally I do not care half as much as I should for him, so I honestly have no idea what to even say for him here. He could and should have been better. Sure, Telegonus is the catalyst for some major events, but he himself feels oddly passive in his own story. He’s the one who accidentally kills Odysseus, yet the emotional fallout of that act barely scratches the surface. Instead, the focus shifts back to Circe and Telemachus, leaving Telegonus as this loose end that never quite gets tied up. Not normally, at least. He’s there to serve Circe’s arc, not to have one of his own. And for someone with his parentage, that feels like a waste.

What really irks me, though, is the missed opportunity. The premise of Circe is so good: a witch cast out by the gods, building her life from scratch and dealing with the fallout of her choices. There’s so much room for nuance and exploration there — of power, isolation, anger, and what it means to be both divine and deeply human. But Miller doesn’t lean into those themes as much as she could. Instead, the story often feels like it’s ticking off a checklist of tropes to make Circe “relatable” to a modern audience.

To be clear, I’m not saying Miller needed to write a hyper-accurate mythological treatise. Adaptations are allowed to take liberties! But they should still engage with the source material in a way that feels authentic, not just convenient. Instead of grappling with Circe’s contradictions — her cruelty and compassion, her power and her vulnerability — Miller smooths over those edges to make her more palatable. Circe is fine. It’s a decent book if you’re looking for a cozy entry point into Greek myths, but it’s not the radical, feminist reclamation it’s often made out to be. It takes some of the most interesting elements of Circe’s story and waters them down into something more comfortable, more easily consumed. Which, hey, works for a lot of people! But if you’re looking for a Circe who’s truly complicated, messy, and unyielding, you’ll have to go back to the myths, or write your own. It’s cute, it’s tidy, and it’s easy to love, but myths, in my opinion, should be anything but. Working on my own little retelling of the Odyssey, and I just hope it will not end up like a mess.

#the odyssey #greek mythology #odysseus #circe #telemachus #telegonus #circe madeline miller #madeline miller

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sh0jun · 11 months ago

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Ikemen Sengoku Modern AU

Boys as various university professors or teachers--

I'm not elaborating it much for now

Maybe there would be updates idk--

Oda forces

→ Nobunaga Oda (Academic Head/Economics teacher)

He's gonna have a separate drawer in his office FILLED with candies

That drawer has a lock on it all the time (he doesn't want Hideyoshi to find out about it)

→ Hideyoshi Toyotomi (history teacher)

Really looks up to the department head

Very patient with all the students and will help each and every single one of them :)

You'd see him in the halls A LOT

so be careful. If you get caught breaking the rules you WILL be lectured by him

He keeps a check on every teacher's health too- also he would tell you to take it easy if he sees that you're not well

Also pretty good at giving motivational speech

→ Mitsuhide Akechi (computer science)

Okay hear me out. This man will be GOOD with computers and technology.

The event stories prove it

He's the teacher you'll go to every time there's something wrong with your iPad

And he WILL tease you endlessly

→ Mitsunari Ishida (Maths teacher)

For obvious reasons.

Our clumsy but very smart angel.

He'll be very kind. And calmly teach you if you're having trouble with a math problem no matter how many times you come to him

But no matter what you do, you won't be able to get his attention if he's reading

The janitor has caught him several times in the library reading books in a secluded corner when it's late in the night

Librarians sometimes have to kick him out

→ Masamune Date (food tech)

Yes.

I think it's self explanatory (I don't have anything to say about him I'm sorry-)

You'd always. ALWAYS. catch him at the farmers market.

→ Ieyasu Tokugawa (Biology/ chemistry teacher)

Yes.

He knows his stuff when it comes to plant and medicine

He'd be very cranky if you come to his with a question but he will answer it in full detail

He does NOT like the math teacher

The math teacher and the physics teacher seem to constantly fawn over him which he does not enjoy.

→ Keiji Maeda (Drama/music teacher)

Pretty self explanatory this one.

He and the literature teacher are good friends :3

Best friends in fact.

He's the cheery teacher. Very enthusiastic.

→ Ranmaru Mori (teacher assistant)

The principal's assistant to be more specific

Running around doing errands for Nobunaga. Looks very cute and is very helpful

The students love him

Kasugayama forces

→ Kenshin Uesugi (specialist PE teacher/sports department head)

Martial arts. Fencing. Horse riding. Swimming. Sword fighting. You name it

This guys knows EVERYTHING

he trains students in these sports for competitions.

The group sports activities go to the other gym teacher

Very cold. And seems very rude and icy. But will teach you if you ask for his help

Also do NOT expect him to go easy on you

It's your first time learning judo? Will TOO bad. You will be thoroughly beaten up by this guy

→Shingen Takeda (DT/department head)

The hot teacher who's at the carpentry workshop

Many students attend the workshop JUST to see him

Very nice. Flirt to everything that breathes

Loves sweets just like the academics Department head.

But doesn't like Nobunaga at all

→Yukimura Sanada (PE teacher)

The worst PE teacher you'll ever have 💀

Doesn't know how to talk to students or teachers which result in him getting some pretty snarky comments

Is in charge of preparing sports teams for sports competitions

Does not like Kenshin's guys but has to put up with them

He's best friends with the physics teacher and they sometimes show experiments together (yuki is the lab rat of course)

→Sasuke Sarutoki (Physics teacher)

That fun physics teacher that shows experiments in the class

Uses memes in his lectures

All his lectures are extremely fun

The students are often confused as to how does he always has a straight face

The PE teacher is his guinea pig at times

The sports department head has some beef with him for some reason

→ Yoshimoto Imagawa (Arts teacher)

The guy LOVES art and appreciates it to his fullest

This job was MEANT for him

Will appreciate your art and also give you pointers if you ask for it

Very charming

Students fawn over him

Has a very soothing voice along with a pretty face

→ Kanetsugu Naoe (Literature teacher)

Teaches English along with Japanese

Very strict

He's pretty and has little fangs but the students are afraid of him

A very good teacher

But also does some very strict marking in tests

Do not try to fight with him cause he will point out all the grammatic errors

Lone forces

→ Kicho (linguistics teacher)

Teaches other foreign languages

Like French, Chinese, Korean, Spanish, German, arabic, Russian. You name it.

This guy is a genius

He and the computer tech teacher are cousins

Seems very tired always (cough blackholes cough)

→ Motonari Mouri (portugese teacher)

Yes.

No comment on him.

Those who know him well will probably get it.

Will teach you every single curse word there is >:D

→ Kennyo (History teacher/ religious studies)

He does not like how modern studies are taking over

No phones allowed in his class

Very calm but also hella intimidating

Uhhh- does not put up well with the Computer tech teacher's antiques

Usually eats alone outside with cats.

Animals love him <3

Mai

→ Mai Mitsuzaki (Textiles teacher)

Das right. Mah girl gets her own category

The most fashionable teacher on campus

Everyone loves her

Shingen, Masa and she are the DT trio

Will teach you all there is to know about clothes and fashion

Designs the best clothes

She should be a designer.

Tags: cause idk who wants to be tagged--

@ikesenanigans (we came up with these together<3)

@rubia8 @bakersgrief @nightvers @ginshoujo @y2ashlee

UHHHH IDK WHO ELSE :(

Anyways Enjoy :D

This is my first hc that i wrote--

Leave in the comments whatever else you want to add? Idk how this works bro- (　-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ )

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viktorarcanedeservesbetter · 3 months ago

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My jayvik post-canon cottage fluff headcanons: (inspo by @jaybegirl as always)

The town they move to has a farmers market every other week. They are obsessed. Piltover never had them (too captialistic) and having an open market in a place where the air can kill you is not a smart idea. So the first time Viktor and Jayce come upon one, they go crazy.

They stop at every booth they can for at least 15 minutes. They try and buy something from everyone. They go home with so much bread, pastries, jams, jellies, soaps, candles that they have to also buy a cart. This happens multiple weeks.

Mini farm! A few sheep for milk and wool, some chickens for eggs, pigs for composting, a horse (theres a whole backstory about how Jayce bought a Clydesdale horse because he looked sad and lonely)

Turns out the Clydesdale is not sad and lonely, very calm and cuddly for a horse. Viktor is only mad because he has to use a ladder to get on, or have Jayce lift him on.

Jayce woodworks in addition to metalworking as stress release. He made most of his and Viktor's furniture. He sells off what he makes and doesn't want to keep.

Viktor gardens and takes pride in the weird looking veggies (direct from jaybegirl)

They paint each room a different color. They redesign the bathroom first to be bigger and with a better tub and shower. They even make an outdoor shower so they don't get dirt and mud in the house.

#arcane #jayce talis #viktor arcane #jayvik

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rei-ismyname · 4 months ago

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Krakoan Diaspora and the Labor Market part 2

The radicalisation of the working class

In part 1, Murray the capitalist pig fired all his human workers because cheap mutant labor is far more profitable. He avoided any blame for this rampant exploitation by shifting it to the 'freaks' - taking advantage of preexisting mistrust of mutants in a union-free workplace.

Murray pushes it even further, underpaying Skin by an undisclosed amount citing rising 'cost of materials' and an appeal to authority of head office. I'm not an expert on Chicago's labor laws, but being paid in cash that's less than what was promised suggests a verbal agreement - leaving Angelo at the whims of this greedy fuck. I'm sure costs are rising, as they are for everyone, but the company should be more profitable than ever. Mutant workers are completing jobs much faster with fewer workers and tools required. The only fat here is Murray and no individual is protected by the ruling class.

If there's more to the conversation, we don't hear it. We cut to Skin begrudgingly accepting less pay, feeling none too good about it. It's been at least a couple of days since the human workers were let go but they're here now with a bone to pick. Their dialogue suggests that they're showing up on payday intentionally - drunk, using offensive language, proposing Skin share his paycheck under clear but deniable threat of violence.

We've only met Nick before but he's with two former coworkers who were almost certainly given the same story - Murray 'had to fire them' because 'the mutant island leaving changed everything.' They're understandably focused on the 'mutant' part, jobless and frustrated with nobody else to blame.

Angelo has his own shit going on and probably isn't in the best mood for making friends. His dialogue is a little stilted, suggesting he's code switching for this social situation. Maybe he's trying to get some levity going, or maybe he's being incredibly polite to three men demanding his paycheck. He likely doesn't know what we know - the justification for firing these men. It probably doesn't matter...

... Because Paul brought a baseball bat with him, beating Angelo across the face with it in objection to his 'smart mouth.' Nick is surprised by this, I'm not.

The plan was to scare Skin, apparently. Nick thinks he went way too far, the third guy stands there awkwardly, and Paul justifies his actions in very bad faith. How thin is the line between three men with a baseball scaring someone and actually hitting them with it? Very thin, in my experience, especially factoring in alcohol and threats.

Murray watches the fruits of his lies and stays in his office.

Angelo recovers after a little while, using his X-Men training and stretchy limbs to take the three out. He doesn't lose his cool and he doesn't hurt them badly either. They're almost certainly embarrassed and emasculated, but physically they're fine - especially compared to a baseball bat in the face.

See? Nice guy Angelo.

Sadly, as predicted this does tie into the A plot. Flatscanners is an anti-mutant message board run as a recruitment pipeline for a Purifiers-type group. Nick lost the ability to see his daughter due unpaid child support, and he's angry about the world. That he'd blame his woes on mutants in general is a predictable beat, if a little heavy-handed. This is issue 2 of a 3 or 4 issue arc and some things don't need to be subtle. 'Took my job' is especially loaded as a barely disguised dogwhistle for migrant labour.

Last issue highlighted how an influx of mutants might affect the labor market, using the background of workplace exploitation to ignite conflict. This issue pays off that conflict and touches on how economic insecurity and perceived culpability of the other can translate into anger, violence and radicalisation. A great many studies and analysts link political shifts to the right to economic insecurity, especially in manual workers though that's a macro trend - this focuses on the micro. The personal.

As a poor and angry person I have empathy for all these people (except Murray, fuck him) but more than that they should be angry. Part of the misery of capitalism is its zero-sum nature - for someone to gain, someone must lose. Corporate interests are prioritised over the individual - cost of living rises while wages do not. I don't have a solution to this, but I know it's violence against the working class or minorities. We're all in the same hellscape being shit on by the rich.

#x comics #x men #skin #Krakoan Diaspora #class war #infinity comics #marvel #comics #radicalisation #economic insecurity

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rayofdawnworld · 1 year ago

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Too Late part 2

Well, here is part two of my very first Reader Inert fic. Tell me how I'm doing, please. Thanks again to @darkficsyouneveraskedfor making this wonderful mood board that inspired me to do this.

Minors DON NOT INTERACT. I MEAN IT! If you're under 18 come back when you are.

Tags will be added as needed.

I will tag you if you want.

Tagging you based on your likes: @silelda, @thezombieprostitute,@thedragonlab, @leonaax, @chocolatecherryblossomsweets

This is a Dark fic. How dark I don't know, it all depends.

Obsessive!Sherlock Holmes/Smart!Reader

Warnings, none yet.

Part 1 Part 3

You were walking home after a long day of work. It was getting late, and you still had a day's work ahead of you tomorrow. At least it wasn't raining. Some of the students thought it would be funny to spill pigs' innards all over the medical classrooms as a prank. Of course, to the casual observer, it all looked the same, but despite the similarities, there were slight differences that a more knowledgeable or careful observer would catch. You were only slightly embarrassed to admit that it had taken you a bit longer to realise that the organs spilled all over the floors were not, in fact, human. The only thing giving you some comfort was that the professors, those highly intelligent and superior minds, took longer than you.

Sadly, since you were one of three maids who had not fainted at the macabre sight, you and the other ladies were tasked with cleaning everything up. You smelled like clotted blood and spoiled meat. You were wet, you were starving, your back hurt, you were past feeling your feet, your knees were bruising, and your hands were beginning to cramp.

That didn't stop you from realising that someone was following you.

Of all the things I need, whatever this is right now is not it. Taking advantage of the chill, you rubbed your hands roughly and started to work out their kinks harshly, going as far as to bite some of your fingers discreetly while also constraining your breath and steps.

There was no need to warn whoever was following you that you had caught on to their presence.

Having barely managed to gain some fluidity in your hands, you put them in your apron pockets, thanking God that you had opted not to take them off, as was your habit.

You counted your steps to ten as you breathed deeply every two steps. You grabbed the small pistol you found in your mother's jewellery bag.

You reached ten and spun swiftly. Years of training with your mother and dancing, the one thing your aunt let you take with Anna to keep up appearances, kept you from getting dizzy.

There was no one there. Or at least, it seemed that way. You smiled.

"I know you are out theeere" you sang in a taunt. "I felt you following me," you growled. "And I do know how to shoot." And with that final warning breathed into the night, you took off on a run. After all, you had always been a fast runner.

You reached your shabby rooms, just barely missing the curfew. Luckily, Mrs. Acker took one look at you and ushered you in. You thanked her profusely as she helped you take off your clothes. Even your underthings were impregnated with the smell of blood, sweat, and the beginnings of rot. You would have to pay for the bath come next payday. You scrubbed yourself, feeling a bit better despite your tiredness. Looking at the clock, you moaned petulantly. You would only have a few hours of sleep before having to get up early to help old Mr. Beckwourth in the market stall selling fish.

It wasn't by chance that you chose these jobs. Both took time, had a modestly adequate pay, rendered you invisible, and lent you a godawful smell, ensuring that none came near you. Just two more weeks. That's all. Two more weeks. You rambled in your mind as you got out of the old metallic tub and dried yourself as best you could.

As you got ready for bed, you mourned the loss of intelligent conversation. You would do just about anything to have an engaging exchange. You'd give anything for a good game of chess. Two more weeks. You felt as if these last weeks were going to be the hardest yet.

You seemed to have forgotten the age-old adage, Be careful about what you wish for.

You didn't know you had been found. You didn't know that your pursuer had just managed to hide himself before you turned around, surprised by how easily you had found him out. You didn't know what your words did to his pride or how knowing that you could use a weapon made him reconsider his approach. Your father had never said anything about knowing how to handle weaponry. What else did you know? You spun with grace—yes, the grace of a dancer—but there was a precise strength as well. Your stance was that of a fighter. Did you know how to fight Pussycat? Oh yes, he remembered your mother's preferred pet name for you. Pussycat. It had potential. You didn't know that as you sprinted with considerable speed despite being held down by damp wool, a pair of vibrant blue eyes darkened with an unknown feeling as he reshaped his entire opinion about you for a second time.

As you lay in bed in a fitful sleep, you didn't know that somewhere else, a man, a most brilliant man, lay in his bed wondering what you truly looked like. Years prior, the paint you wore on your face concealed your appearance; now grime and exhaustion do the same. He had heard about your grandmother's beauty and how you resembled her, but somehow he wagered that you had suppressed her beauty tenfold.

You didn't know what your defiance had done to your pursuer. A man with vibrant blue eyes who no longer considered you a quarry but instead now saw you as a worthy opponent.

A dangerous thing to be, his opponent.

It was a well-known fact that Sherlock Holmes was a formidable man, infamous for dragging all those who opposed him down to his feet. These next few days were going to be very entertaining. He smiled deviously as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Whether you ended up on your knees at his feet or standing by his side depended entirely on just how smart you truly were. Not that it mattered either way.

Sherlock Holmes always got what he wanted.

And Sherlock Holmes wanted you.

#dark!sherlock holmes #obsessed!sherlock #x reader #dark!fic #Smart!reader #reader insert

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mariacallous · 10 months ago

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Everyone, it seems, wants a piece of Moo Deng. The baby pygmy hippo is barely two months old and already famous. So beloved on TikTok, Instagram, and X is Moo Deng that workers at Khao Kheow Open Zoo, the place in Thailand where she was born, are doing all they can to keep up with her fans’ appetite for more. They post videos, photos, updates. They also welcome thousands of visitors a day and find themselves having to defend Moo Deng when tourists throw shells at her while she’s just trying to chill.

Moo Deng, a name that means “bouncy pig,” has probably been all over your timeline lately—on Sephora makeup tutorials, on X’s main feed. She was born in July and in the past few weeks has become the Internet’s New Favorite Animal. A tradition almost as old as the internet itself, Favorite Animals—Maru, any of the dogs on the shiba inu puppy cam, those two llamas who just happened to run free the same day everyone was trying to decide what color The Dress was—come into the public consciousness seemingly out of nowhere. Some, like Doge, stick around; others disappear, or simply outgrow their cuteness, within a matter of weeks.

All of which makes capitalizing on their fame a matter of some urgency. It seems heartless to think of animals this way, but if their owners don’t, someone else will. Perhaps that’s why zoo director Narongwit Chodchoi told the Associated Press this week that the zoo has begun the process of trying to trademark and patent the hippo to avoid her likeness getting used by anyone else—a smart move considering Moo Deng mugs, T-shirts, and other merch are already popping up online. Income from these efforts, Chodcho told the wire service, could “support activities that will make the animals’ lives better.”

Moo Deng might need it. Fandom is getting a bit out of control these days. As pop stars like Chappell Roan have amassed online and offline fame, they’ve also had to use their platforms to ask for space from boundary-less fans and stalkers. Social media celebs like Drew Afualo, on whose podcast Roan appeared to talk about the subject, also tell stories of being approached in public by people who simply know them from the internet.

It may seem odd to compare them to Favorite Animals, but the ways in which people feel entitled to their time aren’t that far apart. Everyone wants something for the ’gram, even if that something is a living being with its own sense of agency. One of Moo Deng’s most popular TikToks has 34 million views, and zoo staff have had to limit her visiting time to five minutes on Saturdays and Sundays to keep too many people from trying to get content of their own.

Trademark protections may be the best way for Moo Deng’s caretakers to ensure others don’t cash in on her viral fame. When Jools Lebron made efforts to trademark her “very demure, very mindful” meme, one of the hurdles that emerged was that it’s hard to claim ownership of a phrase. As Kate Miltner, a lecturer in data, AI, and society at the University of Sheffield’s Information School, told me at the time, memes with audiovisual elements, like Nyan Cat or Grumpy Cat, are easier to register. “People will invariably try to make money off of viral or memetic content, as we've seen time and again,” Miltner says when asked about trademarking the baby hippo, adding that the Cincinnati Zoo has already done this with Fiona the Hippo. “It's smart of the Khao Kheow Open Zoo to (at least try to) ensure that they’re the ones that do so.”

Lebron seems to be figuring out how to market her moment, and Moo Deng’s keepers seem to be doing the same. Being online in 2024 means living in a state of near-constant vulnerability. You could get hacked or turned into a humiliating deepfake. Having a public opinion on a video game or The Acolyte could turn your mentions into a hellscape. And that’s what happens to filthy casuals. When you’re an ascending pop star or a baby hippo the weak spots multiply, because the world always seems hungry for more of you. It’s possible to protect yourself, even monetize yourself, but you can lose yourself, too.

Like Boaty McBoatface, Moo Deng was named by the internet. The zoo held a poll on social media. Unlike McBoatface, Moo Deng is a living thing; she’s a member of an endangered species and needs protecting. Moo Deng is more than a meme.

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the-most-humble-blog · 1 day ago

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🦴 TRYING TO MAKE ME VEGAN, HOMO SAPIEN? YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE, MURDER APE.

Oh, I’m sorry.

You want me to stop eating meat? To “be better”? To “do less harm”?

Coming from you? You—whose species invented napalm, Facebook, and factory farming in the same hundred-year span?

You—who eats quinoa and still somehow decimated multiple biomes doing it?

You—who can't even be trusted with a microwave, but wants to moralize the food chain?

🥩 “MEAT IS MURDER!” You’re damn right it is.

So is your supply chain. So is your iPhone. So is your rare earth minerals. So is your almond milk, flown in on diesel wings and picked by human beings who haven’t been paid since the last time you had real protein in your blood.

🧠 YOU WANT ME TO FEEL GUILTY? I’m not the one who:

✔️ Colonized entire ecosystems ✔️ Fed corn to cows and called it "sustainable" ✔️ Invented f***ing *veal* ✔️ Built billion-dollar death factories with Disney mascots on the packaging ✔️ Ran marketing campaigns to gaslight children into eating nuggets shaped like stars

You're the apex predator who forgot how to kill and now shames others for remembering.

🌱 “GO PLANT-BASED!”

Oh, you mean mono-agriculture?

You mean soil depletion?

You mean the system that:

✔️ Bulldozes forests ✔️ Murders native wildlife ✔️ Turns bees into hospice patients ✔️ Uses more water than a slaughterhouse ✔️ And poisons the same soil it calls sacred?

Nah. You can keep your “green” bloodbath. Your avocado toast bled too. You just covered it in Himalayan salt and forgot.

🪓 I’M NOT A MONSTER. I’M A PARTICIPANT.

I eat what I’m willing to kill. What I’m willing to face. What I would stalk, clean, cook, and thank.

You eat from a shadow.

Your food chain ends in a receipt. Mine ends in fire.

🧬 BIOLOGY CALLED. SHE WANTS HER HUNGER BACK.

You weren’t made to be gentle. You were made to rip, tear, and share. You didn’t survive by planting kale. You survived because your ancestors ate the liver raw and fought wolves for the rest.

You wear shoes made of dead cows, eat strawberries soaked in migrant labor, and sip lattes milking both oat and exploitation.

But I’m the villain for biting into a ribeye?

🧄 THE PLANT DIDN’T WANT TO DIE EITHER.

Plants communicate. Plants remember trauma. Plants call for help through underground fungal networks. You know, nervous systems without nerves.

You silence their screams by calling them “ingredients.”

That salad was a massacre with croutons.

🐖 AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON PIGS.

Yes, they’re smart. So smart you broke them. So smart you trapped them in concrete hellscapes and injected them with enough hormones to qualify as part of the FDA.

You knew they were intelligent— and you taught them to trust you anyway.

That’s not compassion. That’s psychological warfare.

📱 "BUT I BUY ETHICALLY!" From where?

The same online shop that ships your fake leather jacket in four pounds of plastic wrap, packed by warehouse slaves who piss in bottles while your “kindness” trend goes viral?

No thanks.

You didn’t fix the problem. You just outsourced the guilt.

🥊 I DON’T LIE TO MYSELF ABOUT WHAT I EAT.

I don’t hide my hunger in a smoothie.

I know I’m an animal.

You want to feel evolved while chewing fungus molded to taste like chicken? That’s cool. Keep roleplaying utopia in your Whole Foods echo chamber.

But I’ll keep eating like I earned it. Like I climbed the food chain instead of tweeting about it.

🦷 YOU’RE TRYING TO GUILT A PREDATOR. GOOD FUCKING LUCK.

This isn’t about morality. This is about identity.

You’re trying to declaw the species that mastered fire, forged iron, and tamed thunder. You’re trying to shame the species that turned forests into cities and famine into franchises.

You want me to feel bad because I won’t apologize for still being alive?

🥩 I EAT MEAT BECAUSE I ACCEPT THE BLOOD.

Because I know where life comes from. Because I remember that the price of my heartbeat was always someone else’s silence.

I don’t erase it. I respect it.

You want me to chew guiltless grass while you fly to yoga retreats on jets that belch carbon into the lungs of children?

Save it.

🛑 IF YOU EVER SAW A PREDATOR APOLOGIZE, YOU’D STARVE.

Nature didn’t evolve the lion to whimper. It evolved it to roar.

You? You’re still trying to convince yourself tofu has a soul.

💡 TRUTH BOMB TIME:

You don’t want me to stop eating meat. You want me to make you feel better.

You want your dietary identity to feel righteous. You want your green plate to win arguments. You want your tofu to come with a moral superiority complex and a subscription to your OnlyPlants newsletter.

You’re not saving the planet. You’re curating your conscience.

🔪 I’M NOT THE MONSTER. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE SMILE WHILE THE WORLD BURNS.

You think you’ve transcended instinct because you stopped chewing meat.

You didn’t.

You’re still chewing. Still consuming. Still destroying. You just changed the packaging and now you call it “ethical.”

🔥 FINAL THOUGHT? I don’t want to be “better.” I want to be real.

I want to be part of the Earth the way it actually functions: Predation. Death. Transformation. Rebirth.

I want my meat bloody and my truth honest. Not sterilized and virtue-washed into quinoa guilt stew.

So no—I will not go vegan.

And especially not because a species that invented genocide wants to shame me for eating bacon.

Read. Reblog. Reclaim your predator license.

---

🧠 Read more transmissions from the mouth of moral realism and carnivorous clarity at: 👉 https://linktr.ee/ObeyMyCadence 🛡️ Ancestral truth. Ethical exposure. Hunger unfiltered. 🚪 Reminder: You didn’t evolve to chew air. You evolved to chew back.

</div>

[AUTO-PURGE IN: 00:00:00 — YOUR KETCHUP IS HIDING A BODY COUNT.]

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miss-mania · 1 year ago

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The Song of Maybe

(By Abbadon, from the Webcomic Kill Six Billion Demons)

Once, Lord Intra came to the Vale of Stalks. It was a broad land with a hardy and beautiful people that wove stems of grass into elaborate mats. There were frequent harvest songs and offerings to the God of Pigs.

Unfortunately, at the time, the people were starving. The land was ruled by Yem Yeddo and his family, who had sucked the life out of it for some time. That was the way of things in those days. Though the soil was quite fertile, Yem Yeddo had surrounded himself with thickset and well-fed men, who lacked in brains but made up for it in muscle and the same kind of canniness found in very smart dogs. These men he used as tax collectors, and he drained the land of every third, fourth, and fifth bale of crop, and sold it for crude coin, feeding the scraps to his thugs.

Lord Intra arrived at the local way house and was served black bread, as was the custom, but skesh was strangely absent, and the bread was thin and mealy. When Intra asked why, he quickly learned of the lands’ plight.

“What of the peregrine lords that tend this place?” He asked.

“They were killed by thirty men, and hung from a tree for seven days,” said the inn proprietor, with a look like a beaten animal.

Intra could not abide this. He called out to Yem Yeddo in the spare and decaying market square, who brought his thirty men.

“Preem Yeddo,” bellowed Intra, “You are a cruel and petty man. How can you scour this land so and not feel for the people that call it their abode?”

Yem Yeddo laughed. “Let them eat the stones, for all I care,” said he.

Intra, who was not one to balk at such matters, picked up a particularly large rock and said, “So it shall be. I shall feed the people with this stone.”

The lord of the vale and his thugs laughed at Intra and his preposterous proclamation. But their mirth was cruel, so they stayed to watch his futile labor.

“I will turn this rock into fire,” said Intra. The men roared with laughter.

“Fool!” they cackled. “The rock shall not become fire, no matter your wish.”

Intra ignored them, turned the rock in his well worn hand, and dug a shallow pit with it, piling the earth carefully at the sides. Then he gathered dry brush and reeds and piled them high in the pit. The sun was hot and bright overhead as he worked, and his traveling clothes were soiled with sweat as he worked. The men bade the villagers of that place gather water for them to drink as they watched Intra’s labors.

From his traveling cloth, Intra produced a sword. The thugs watching him leaned forward at this, but then quickly relaxed. It was a decrepit and battered thing, well used and pitted and chipped.

“I no longer use this to kill men,” said Intra. “But it’s very good for cooking dinner.”

Intra struck the rock against his sword, and a spark flew into the dry brush. Intra fanned it with great care, and soon a roaring fire blazed in the village square.

“Now I will make of this stone Earth and Water both,” said Intra, standing in front of the blaze.

“And air too, I suppose,” jested Yem Yeddo, the richest man in the vale, and all his men laughed.

But Intra did not. He took his proclamation very seriously. At this point, he had been sober for months and had a headache.

Intra took the stone, and his terribly damaged sword, and began to set to work by the side of the fire. Using the edge of the sword, he slowly chipped at the rock, flattening its shape. As the rock was of a reasonably large size, this took quite some time.

Once he was satisfied with his tool, he took off his kafeyen and traveling cape, so he was clad only in his underclothes, then found a good spot in the barren and muddy town square and began to dig.

Even the people in the square who had filtered in to see the Sword Saint and had some hope he might yet prove their savior felt their resolve sag at the sight of his starved body, laboring and sweating as he toiled in the muck and filth. The cruel master of the vale laughed and had a tent set up to shade him as he watched Intra’s struggles. “If you are done with your farce, I will happily geld you and make you my jester, lord Intra,” said he. Intra said nothing, but kept digging, only emerging to feed his fire. As the day dragged on and his fire burned to coals, he had quite a sizable amount of clay, which piece by piece he molded into bricks and let dry by the light of the sun and the heat of the fire.”Behold the earth,” said Intra.

As the sun began to creep lower towards the horizon, his craft quickly became apparent. Exhausted, and muscles quivering, he emerged from his hole and began to stack his bricks into a sturdily made bread oven. Then he asked for a vessel, and went down into his pit, emerging with it filled to the brim with muddy water, as he had dug deep enough to coax it from the dry earth.

“Behold the water,” said Intra, and set it to boil clean over the fire. He began to shovel coals into the oven, to prepare it and set it.

At this sight, more people began to gather at the square. They could sense that something was afoot. Yem Yeddo would have beaten them back into their homes, but he too was transfixed by the strange spectacle that was unfolding.

“Clever,” said Yem Yeddo, with the slightest tinge of anxiety in his voice, as all tyrants are wont to have when confronted with an honest man. “Do you mean to bake bread for the people? That will not work despite your powers of transfiguration, as I have all the grain.” His thugs, like the loyal dogs they were, sensed their master’s discomfort, and gripped the hilts of their weapons.

“I tire of this,” said Yem Yeddo, without realizing the gravity of his own situation. “Break his limbs.”

“Next,” said Intra, “I will turn this rock into air.”

The thirty strong men of Yem Yeddo drew their beating staves and started to approach Intra, slavering and yelping at the thought of snapping his legs like dry twigs and the food they would get as a reward after. Intra was a handsome man who did not have the look of a warrior about him, and the men were very stupid. His eyebrows were thin and delicate, like a woman, and he had lashes like a spider lilly. This made the men laugh uproariously at his effeminate appearance.

Intra, for his part, merely took the rock and raised it high. After all the work he had done with it, it had become quite small, dense, and sharp. Then with a flick of his wrist, he skipped the rock off the air so fast that it cracked like a whip. A sound like thunder rippled across the valley.

Intra was extremely good at skipping rocks, as it had become his famous pastime in his sobriety. He could skip rocks off anything, be it god or man. In this particular case, he skipped the rock off the ribcages of all thirty men in half a second. They blew open like an old basket and the wind whistled merrily through the empty and sputtering spaces where their chests had once been.

‘Behold the air,” said Intra.

Yem Yeddo was astonished, and a great terror overwhelmed him. He was a quick and cowardly man, and fled. The people rejoiced and the granaries were broken open. The bodies of the tyrannical lord’s men were burned without rites and stomped upon. Flour was dragged forth by the sackful, the well Intra dug was quickly filled with fresh water and reinforced with stone, and soon many loaves of bread were emerging, steaming, from his oven. A goat was slaughtered and a great feast was had.

“Thankyou for the hospitality,” said Intra, when the night had grown long. “I will not impose upon you any longer.”

The populace were desperate for him to stay. “Lord Intra,” said they, “Yem Yeddo may yet return, with more men!”

“That is true,” said Intra, “And that I cannot help with you. But remember, men like him have forgotten their mothers. Their feet do not touch the earth, and they grasp at feeble things. They are like a mangy dog fighting over a fetid corpse. They have forgotten that with their brothers, working together, they could bring down a magnificent ox.”

He reached down and picked a goodly sized rock from the floor of the valley.

“This valley is broad and beautiful. It may have one Yem Yeddo, but it contains many more stones.”

#kill six billion demons #k6bd #this is my favorite flavortext from the entire comic's run so far

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torridturncoat · 8 months ago

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not about to go into a tangent about how the average person is like a pig at trough waiting for slop while i am a special princess with unusual smarts and skills and taste, bc that's lame af and also untrue, but i do think its counterproductive to recognise something is made dumb for the marketing induced frenzy of satisfying the nonexistent slack jawed idiot they think the average consumer is, and then still accept it. like you can accept&enjoy flawed, but you shouldn't have to make peace with the dumb

#.text #i will neveeerrrrr understand taking shit from a company like you are taking shit from your average dirt-bag boyfriend 😭#like at least the boyfriend can potentially dick you down good can a marketing team do that 😭

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cacklingpumpkins · 2 months ago

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Saberspark is an awful person

WARNING: Mentions of SA, grooming, abuse

I usually don't do this sort of thing but I'm tired of standing on the sidelines as people brush what Saberspark did under the rug.

He needs to face the consequences of his actions.

Saberspark is a cartoon YouTuber with over 2 million subscribers. When he first started he was a brony YouTuber but as time went on he altered his content to be more about animation. During the mid-late 2010s I was once a fan of his. But I slowly lost more interest when he started doing the typical "What Ruined Blank"/"Blank is worse than you think" videos. But I didn't hate him then. I just unsubscribed and moved on with my day. But ever since the new millenium the distaste has become hatred due to his own actions. The list keeps getting and bigger by the day and the growth of said list is speeding up. And yet, he rarely ever faces the consequences of his actions. It all seems to be brushed under the rug by not just him but his fans as well.

I usually do not make posts like this. I don't do news or expose posts but considering after the big allegations he has faced that many are now also brushing under the rug because of one bad video that made me snap. People need to face the consequences of their actions or at the very least acknowledge the allegations.

Hornybait thumbnails with Children's media

I will start with one that many may not see as a problem. Take this one for what you will. Now before anyone assumes it I don't mind horny bait thumbnails. Heck I do the same thing myself. Saberspark claims that his content is just for adults but there's a problem that comes with that. And that is when he talks about media that is created, marketed and relevant to children today like Bluey. Things that kids are very likely to look up online. Having a video about Bluey on the same channel as "Rating my Rule34" is risking exposing them to said material.

I know many people are going to say "Blame the parents" and while I do agree that parents should monitor what their kids watch online we can't completely blame them for this. Parents most likely know about Bluey, to them it's a trusted brand that is safe for their children and if they see a video about it you really can't blame them for assuming that channel has any suggestive media that's inappropriate for kids. Cartoon Adults make up a very small portion of the audience. Yes I agree they should look at the channel more thoroughly but that still doesn't change the risk. That's like going into Disneyland, sneaking in dildos as you shove them in kids faces and blame the parents for letting them see it.

You can't say you're for adults when you make videos about new children's media that is currently marketed towards them. That's like putting Peppa Pig on Adult Swim.

Now I'm not saying you can't talk about family friendly media and still be for mainly adults. That's not the point I'm making. I'm gonna sound a little pretentious here because I usually don't like using myself as an example. A few months ago I made a video about Club Penguin. I'm sure many would call me a hypocrite for that but the difference is that while Club Penguin was a brand that was marketed to kids that was almost a decade ago. The game shut down in 2017 and even by then most of the players were nostalgic adults. Most kids today are not going to know what Club Penguin even is considering how long it's been since it shut down. Going back to the Adult Swim metaphor, it makes sense why the block "Checkered Past" is on there as kids don't know what those shows are and most who do are adults. We could go into a debate about talking about properties that are generations old that are still producing new content like Spongebob or Scooby-Doo. In those cases you should be smart and focus more on the older material from those franchises and not new episodes or movies.

My point is that you shouldn't say that your content is for adults only and have horny bait thumbnails when you make content about media that is relevant to kids, has a demographic of almost exclusively kids and isn't old enough to at least have a nostalgic audience. Like Bluey in this case. And that "adults only" label doesn't give you the excuse to do whatever you want. As while parents should still watch what their kids consume you should still be mindful of what could interest them.

But if that was all there was I wouldn't even be making this post. Many may not agree or even call me a hypocrite for this part. But I think most would agree with the rest. Hence why I started with this.

Defending a Groomer, Victim Blaming and Blaming Father for Defending his Daughter.

For those who don't know, user BlackGryph0n or Gabriel C. Brown was suspected and eventually exposed as a groomer among other things. I'll leave the link to the docs to see for yourself.

Google Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Jxh8GQCw5seOpetu0Gg_zQSjguXHUBH-3Lun1xachWc/edit?usp=sharing BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/bronyfandont.bsky.social/post/3lbpsns3af22r

Saberkpark has gone out of his way to defend Gabriel who he considers a friend. He left a massive reply to one user on his YouTube channel who brought up the allegations. His response was to blame the victim for their own abuse and getting angry at her father for trying to defend her. Claiming he was trying to destroy her life and that most of the information was fake because "The internet is how it is" despite evidence in the said doc coming up.

Now I don't know the victim's personal life but to speak on their behalf when the evidence waves in is not a good look.

It's ironic that he claims "I'd sooner die than to ever defend someone guilty of that?" While doing exactly that in the same comment. Where was that attitude when more information came out?

Rape Allegations

As of May 1st the same user who has brought up the docs and evidence against BlackGryph0n has now presented an allegation that Saberspark sexually assaulted an 18 year old.

I'll link to the story but I'll go over it briefly here. https://x.com/BronyFandont/status/1917942090878820622

This story dates back to his Brony days in 2012. This person wishes to remain anonymous. She messaged him on Skype as the two had a conversation. They later met at a Brony convention and he invited her into his hotel room. There he quietly took advantage of her. He did not ask for consent and she was too nervous and scared to stop him. A year later he did the same thing all over again.

Of course this is a very small synopsis of the story and you all should read the story yourself. But if it is true then my heart goes to the victim.

Now I must acknowledge that these are allegations and there isn't much evidence outside of the story and a few people online who claim to be witnesses. As much as I hate the guy I still think it's important to remember that until more evidence rises. But that's not why I bring it up.

After the allegations many tried to ask him directly on his YouTube channel and subreddit. But many online are not noticing that he is deleting comments that bring up the allegations in any way. https://x.com/ImJustaCabbage/status/1918079995278455263

This isn't absolute proof that he did in fact assault her but it does make him look more guilty. If you have any allegations made towards you, regardless of the severity of them or if they're true or false, you should still treat them with a certain level of urgency. But deleting any mention of it is not the way to go about it. If they're false then say something. Being direct is always 10x better than brushing it under the rug. Keep in mind this is the same guy who was so quick to defend BlackGryph0n the instant someone brought him up. Once again where is the same energy?

I also wanna go over some disgusting claims people have made "This was 2012/2013. Why bring it up now?" You can't expect victims of abuse to immediately come out the instant it happens. You have no idea how these things affect someone's mind. There are many reasons why someone wouldn't come out as soon as it happened. Fear of the abuser, Fear of their status (as a big YouTuber afterall), your mind trying to rationalize the event to make it easier to cope with, becoming a repressed memory or even blaming themselves for it. Plus there are several cases of women coming out about their abuse years later and they still turned out to be true.

"She didn't say no" but she didn't say yes either. Do you even know what sexual coercion is? Sexual coercion is when the victim feels pressured for sexual access. This could be through drugs, money or in this case, fame.

It seems more like to me that you just want to preserve the idea that a YouTuber you like could never be a bad person. And I understand that you don't want to assume that the people you look up to are evil. But you shouldn't view them as anything above or below an OK person who is capable of doing either. That's how you avoid the disappointment of seeing a creator you like being exposed for their awful actions. Because if you view them as anything more you risk defending them emotionally rather than rationally looking into the situation.

Regardless of whether or not the sexual assault turns out to be true you still should be more critical of how he defends groomers, blames victims for their abuse and deletes comments to keep himself safe. Do not let this be brushed under the rug just because of one bad video.

Also if I got any information wrong or I missed anything he might have done please tell me right away.

#saberspark #youtube #consequences

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jbirdoftheriverlands · 5 months ago

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one of the biggest reasons I'm careful to shit on pretty much every out of pocket anti-ai post I see is because I straight up just don't believe humans differ in their basic value in ways that are linearly separable based on whether they're a "Real" artist or not. Nor do I believe sharing an image of say, a rooster in a helicopter generated by midjourney is any less divine than one generated by a human, or that a person should have to pay the nearest digital artist for a pfp in order to exist on the internet, or in the concept of branding each other with a scarlet letter based on passing market forces or fashionable "icks" being a good habit to get into, in general, especially when you consider that nazis are like, all the way back, and they should probably take priority one on the old watchlist, and because fragmenting our community based on the ideals of capitalist pigs holding right livelihood over our heads in direct relation to who has skills that are more valued is uh. Actually not cool at all to me, its not a world I want to live in. I don't give a fuck if the lesbian next to me is crossing a picket line you set up in your head over a long over hollywood writers strike or not, cuz im gay as hell too and well. Lots of people want us both dead as fuck. So if you wanna share a computer generated picture of Jesus Christ in a hot dog eating contest, I could sure use the fucking laugh, karen. It'd be a nice little break from the constant sense of mounting dread and the unspeakable panic I feel in having to carry around the knowledge that most people are just waiting for a morally defensible reason to select outliers to mark as profane heretics that won't uphold the arbitrary ideals we've convinced ourselves are the only acceptable form of social order, and, because of that, not smart enough to avoid getting us all fucking killed anyway :)

#ai #ai art

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smarksthespot1717 · 1 year ago

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For the first time in his life, Ed could really and truly relax. Stede made their home feel safe, and Ed enjoyed building it with him. In the past, Ed had never allowed himself to be surrounded by comforts, save for his brief time with Stede on the Revenge before the abandonment and the darkest time in Ed's life. But now their home was filled with nothing but comforts. Plush rugs you could sink your toes into, squishy throw pillows, soft sheets, soft clothing, and silly romance novels Ed enjoyed reading in his free time.

Their home was also filled with food. With the bit of treasure they'd taken from the ship, going to the market to buy food was no big deal. Ed was also improving at fishing, and brought home dinner himself many nights. Stede would go to the bakery almost every day, and return with freshly baked treats for them both. And at night, Ed slept like a baby, under a soft heavy blanket and with Stede spooning him.

There was a change that happened slowly. Slowly enough that Ed didn't notice it until it suddenly hit him all at once. He was getting pudgy. One morning he was getting dressed, and his favorite plum-colored pants bit into his tummy something awful when he got them buttoned up. He went to look at himself in profile in the mirror, and his eyes bulged at the sight. A chubby belly was muffining over the waistband, like dough trying to escape from a too-small bowl.

For the first time in months, Ed panicked.

He knew he was over-reacting, which just made it worse. He crawled into the bed, pulled the blankets up over his head, and got into the fetal position. He didn't undo the pants at all, and felt how mercilessly they pressed into his soft belly, a constant, tight reminder of what he did to himself.

Fat greedy pig. He didn't deserve 3 meals a day. He didn't know why Stede thought he did. 3 meals a day were for rich people, good people, and all the types of people he was not. He should consider himself lucky to get hardtack and dried meat once a day.

He had stopped having nightmares about his time in Hornigold's ship years and years ago. He laughed it off now, those old days back when he and Jack were paying their dues. But maybe his recent purgatorial encounter with him unlocked some old memories. Ben in his head tried to feed him soup. Hornigold from his past screamed at anyone who vocalized hunger pains, and reminded them all that they were unworthy rats who were lucky they didn't get crumbs from the floor. And if he was only verbally abusive that day, that was a good day. Often times he'd get the cat-o-nine tails and make a show. He was completely sadistic. Ed managed to avoid the worst of it. He was still alive, after all. He was already used to being hungry. His father drank away money that should've gone to feeding him. And he was quick and smart and light on his feet. He kept his head down. And he was just an unworthy dog.

An unworthy dog who was now eating like a king, with snacks between meals, multiple pastries a day, and growing fat off it. He suddenly felt nauseous, and curled up around himself tighter.

"Darling?" Stede called, entering their bedroom. "Edward, are you still asleep? There's a chili festival in town today, remember?"

He walked over to the lump on the bed, and noticed it was shivering. He slowly pulled down the blanket and found Ed tear-stained and red in the face.

"Edward!" Stede cried out, horrified. "Are you alright? Did you have a nightmare? What can I do?"

"I'm sorry," Ed sniffled. "I'm fat."

"You're not fat."

"I'm getting fat. I have to stop this, I have to lose it--"

"Why?" Stede asked gently.

Ed opened his mouth, and then closed it again, realizing any words about to come out of his mouth were straight from Hornigold, and he didn't want to repeat the awful things that man said.

"Don't deserve it," he whispered eventually.

"Can I touch you, dear?" Stede asked softly.

Ed nodded, and Stede put his hand on Ed's shoulder and rubbed it gently. "Of course you deserve it, love. You've lead such a tough life. You deserve lots of good food and to put on a bit of happy weight more than me, that's for sure."

Ed's eyes flicked to Stede's belly, which was, in fairness, basically right next to his face. It rested ever so slightly in his lap. Stede was so warm and soft, so him gaining a bit of retirement weight made sense. Stede had been slightly pudgier when they met than he was when they reunited, so it felt right to see him fill out again. He liked it on Stede. But for himself?

"I'm being greedy," Ed said. "And I don't deserve it. I'm just being a fucking pig--"

"Ed, please," Stede pleaded gently. "What brought this all on?"

"You're gonna think I'm stupid... but I just noticed..."

"I don't think you're stupid. I only really noticed it recently too. My pants are starting to fight with me," Stede said, laughing it off. "It happened slowly. We see each other and ourselves every day. It makes sense that we both missed it until it suddenly clicked."

Ed nodded. "And... I was thinking about... Hornigold... the old days. He never fed us enough. Izzy used to scoff at any sort of sweet purchase. He said it was impulsive and wasteful and that money could be better spent on actual food. And he was right--"

"Look, keeping the crew fed with proper food is important, but dessert is important to. It keeps the crew happy. It makes you happy. And you're not the kind of person to spend all your money on cake and leave nothing for meat and bread and such. I'm sure whatever you wanted was more than reasonable, and Izzy was just being... Izzy-like," Stede said.

Ed didn't respond to that. He let out a small sigh as he felt his body come down from its sudden panic.

"Do you think I'm ugly?"

"What? No! I could never think you're ugly, Ed. Do... do you think I'm ugly now that I've... put on a few?" Stede said, his bravado and confidence turning to anxiety and shame shockingly quickly.

"No," Ed replied, reaching out and putting a hand on Stede's thigh. "I like it. You look soft and happy. Like you're s'posed to be. It's nice to cuddle and squish and... I just like it on you."

"Well, I like it on you. You look safe, and happy, and relaxed. I noticed that whenever you eat a pastry, you do this cute little wiggle in your hips, and you look so happy. I like how it's visible proof that you're safe. That you can be soft, and you never have to worry about being hard again. And... it's very pretty, dear. It suits you very well."

Ed sat up and leaned his head on Stede's shoulder.

"Thank you."

"You're precious, and you deserve to eat whatever you want. And I'm your boyfriend who deserves to spoil you rotten. And if you get a little pudgy, that's ok, great even, if it means you're happy."

"Even if... I keep getting chubbier?"

"You can get as chubby as you want, Ed. I will love you just the same."

Ed put his arms around Stede, and Stede hugged him back.

Stede would never lie to him. Ed knew this from experience, and Stede had even said so explicitly multiple times. Which meant it really was alright that he was growing soft, and might keep growing softer, and that he wasn't a greedy pig for eating 3 square meals plus snacks and dessert, and that he wasn't an unworthy rat who deserved to starve.

Stede and Ed had exchanged a lot of stories of their childhoods and youths by this point, a lot of which were usually responded to with: "That's absolutely awful, you didn't deserve any of that." Ed was absolutely sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Stede didn't deserve the torture he was put through as a child by the hands of his fellow students. He didn't deserve a cold, unloving father, who called him a soft and weak spoiled brat. He didn't deserve any of that.

So Ed didn't deserve to have a father who drank and screamed and threw things and hit. He didn't deserve to spend years toiling away for Hornigold, with Jack as his only point of comfort. He didn't deserve the way Izzy treated him, as if his interests were stupid and he wasn't tough enough to keep being Blackbeard.

Ed deserves this. Ed deserves happiness.

"Let's get up," Ed said softly. "We need to eat breakfast. And maybe hit the tailor's before going to the chili festival," he said with a chuckle.

Stede chuckled with him. "Sounds like a perfect day."

#a very soft tummy fic featuring emotional angst and stede comforting ed

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almostgigi · 1 year ago

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Musician!reader - her album

Cw: cursing, sexism, period talk, very lil of Eddie.

After serious accusations on his manager being a complete asshole and a sexist pig against other women and reader herself, she releases her first album on her own domain. Femininity is a cry of "enough", a beating to all the men who think they are better than women just because they are men.

Eddie helps reader with the media and marketing for the album to be heard as is an album made only by women and has no record label.

G I R L M A T H - is a silly little song about women and the things they do in daily life. The concept has been shared on social media and is a current meme in the fandom. But also works as a reminder that we are as smart as you even when we use silly concepts for the things we do.

W I F E M A T E R I A L - the reason reader made this song is because her manager told her once that no matter how many good man she dated, she'll never be wife material, she'll never be enough for them to consider her as more than a beautiful body and a pretty face. This is her comeback.

C O C K T A I L D R E S S E S - third song on the album is about all the things women can do while looking pretty, aka the cocktail dresses.

C O R S E T A N D M A K E U P - almost the same concept as the one before, this song talks about how women has been under the pressure of using things like corsets and makeup to look pretty before, going through the memory of important women like Marie Antoinette, powerful queens all around the world, miss world beauty pageants and more, but now we are free to use them only if we want to.

T H E M A I D - fifth song on the album starts with a man's voice, aka Eddie, saying "I know babe but I'm so tired, just clean it, that's your job anyway" followed by a loud scream and the song starts blasting. Being more of a rock song, talks about how men see us sometimes as "the maid" wanting us to do everything around the house but they never help with the chores.

G R W M or G E T R E A D Y W I T H M E - sixth song in the album and the main single that started everything, the song talk about getting ready to go get revenge. In the music video we can se reader waking up and brushing her teeth, following her skincare routine and her makeup routine as well as her choosing the outfit of the day while she sings the song looking at the camera.

O P P R E S S I O N - a song about nothing more than the oppression women stand every day since existence.

O V E R R E A C T I N G - as queen herself Taylor Swift said "a man is allowed to react, a women can only overreact".

M O O D Y - how many times we had a temper and men accused us of being on our period? more than I want to admit. This song is about being moody, doing what we want because we can and not because we are in a mood thanks to our period.

I <3 H E R - last song on the album and the lost personal one, talks about her and her mother. Is a love letter to the women who gave her life and to all the mothers in the world.

#eddie munson #eddie x fem!reader #eddie x reader #eddie munson x reader #eddie x you #eddie munson blurb #eddie munson imagine #boyfriend material #fem reader

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nenjuu · 3 months ago

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I Am the Demon Queen's Doctor Chapter 1 | 3.5 words | [masterlist]

“And for the highlight of this evening,” I heard him begin dramatically, no doubt gesturing grandly before the crowd, “I present to you the highlight of this evening!” Shoved from behind, I stumbled forward only to trip over the apparent step I couldn’t see in front of me. Gasps of anticipation echoed through the hall, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. I gritted my teeth. If it wasn’t obvious when when I was initially captured, it was crystal clear now. Before I could react, the hood was torn from my head.

“An elusive elf in the flesh!” The auctioneer announced. Oohs and aahs immediately erupted from the audience, and though I was blinded by the bright lights after being in the dark for so long, I had no doubts their eyes were glued greedily to me. They were probably salivating at the sight. I wasn’t so divorced from the human world to know how much they coveted beings like me. To own one represented a high feat of human achievements. It was absolutely disgusting. Yet at the same time, I knew it was my fault I ended up in this situation.

Though the humans believed me to be, I actually was not a full elf. I was raised by my grandfather after my mother and father passed early. But being raised in an elven village, unreachable by humans, I often found myself contemplating my mixed lineage. My mother was a human and I knew the human city where she came from. A part of me wondered if I could find out more about her if I visited. I knew it would be dangerous, but if I disguised myself well, I didn’t see the harm in taking a short trip.

Unfortunately I was a bit too naive when I finally decided to make the decision to leave. Leaving a note for my grandfather, I left in the dead of the night. I thought a hooded cloak would be enough to hide my identity. I didn’t want to waste the potions I had of glamour too quickly. But not even five minutes out of the enchanted woods that kept the elven villages separate from the world was I cornered by a group of thugs. Not too long later, I was with a chain around my neck and thrown into a cage.

Before you say it, I already know. I was a complete idiot. Although I knew there was a high demand in the human black market for beings like me, I underestimated how bad it became since the Demon Lord started to reign. A smart person would have done the research to figure out the best place to leave the enchanted woods, as well as how to dress. A smart person would have also brought something for self-defense. But alas. Everything was 20/20 In hindsight.

So as I was dragged to my feet before the crowd of greedy human eyes and the auction began, the corner of my lip curled as I watched them dressed in their theater masks sitting at the edge of their seats. With frenzied excitement, they cried out their bets. Hundreds. Thousands. Tens of thousands. Pigs, the lot of them. Slobbering filthy grotesque pigs. If any single one of them thought they would be able to keep me for long, they were sorely mistaken. I wasn’t as helpless as I seemed—

And then I saw it out of the corner of my eyes. There upon the balcony sat a woman with shining baby blue eyes and blonde hair in ringlets. The way her eyes watched me felt odd, as if the only reason she came to this auction was to have me. But that look in her eyes was not greed like the rest. It was calculated, purposeful. She desired me for reasons larger than myself. So when she raised her bidding paddle, I found my breath caught in my throat.

“One million gold.”

Almost immediately, the crowd went silent. Then not a moment later, it dropped into hysterics. I could hear the auctioneer shakily thank the woman as the hood was thrown back over my head and I was lead stumbling away. The sound even traveled all the way down in the prisons where I was thrown back in my cage. The way their cries echoed against the walls even made me feel for the first time unsettled. I could handle being a trophy, but whatever it was that I was going to be led into by this woman was not something I wanted to look forward toward.

Fortunately, or unfortunately? I didn’t have much time to stew in my thoughts. Not minutes after, a loud boom echoed. I could hear the prisoners in the cages next to mine whimpering and cowering where they lay. Screams could be heard from above. It sounded as if the auction was being raided. And if that was the case, that meant there was a chance to be saved. But what could I do? I still had a hood thrown over me with my arms bound tight.

Not before long, I could hear a man stumbling into the room, swearing loudly. Unlocking my cage, I winced as the hood was torn from my head once more. Immediately my eyes locked on two things: the keys he held in his hand and the fact that there were children to be seen in some of the cages. But I didn’t have long to think. Yanking me to my feet, he hauled me to the door. Doing my best to resist, I didn’t even have time to react when I was suddenly thrown to the floor, cheek stinging.

“Shit, I shouldn’t have done that,” he mumbled, his voice slurring. “Get up, wench. They may have taken everything from me this time, but once I escape and sell you, I’ll… I’ll be able to…” It didn’t take long to figure out why he was acting so strangely. The front of his clothes were dark and wet, no doubt stabbed through. Really, it was amazing to consider how he was still standing with the amount of blood he probably already lost. And if he was losing his motor controls, that meant I still had a chance.

Not giving myself time to doubt or be afraid, I scrambled to my feet, dashing forward and headbutting him, sending us both to the ground. As his keys were sent clattering to the side, I did my best to crawl after them, securing the ring in my mouth. If I just maneuvered myself properly, I would be able to free myself and then everyone else and—

But I had no time to do any of that. Feeling a hand yank back my hair, my head was then slammed down into the stone floor. Not even a moment later, I was spun around and hands were upon my throat. Through the hazy vision, I could see the man on top of me, eyes wild as he mumbled something about only putting me to sleep for a little while. Which in the haze of my mind, was still rather dumb because didn’t he know that strangling a person killed them? As my sight darkened, I couldn’t get over how much of an idiot this guy was. Or rather, how much of an idiot I was.

But when the grip suddenly loosened, I gasped for air, crying out in pain as it stung going down my throat. Rolling over, I curled into a ball as tears fell down my cheeks. Even though I knew I should’ve been having other thoughts considering I almost died, the only thing in my mind was how this was a horrible shitty day and that I was an idiot. I was stolen by traffickers, strangled, probably had a concussion, and still had to escape. I just wanted this day to be over with already.

Though I could barely think as I laid there gathering my bearings, in the back of my mind, I could almost hear the sound of metal footsteps in the prison and locks being opened, cries of relief and murmurs of reassurance. I even felt as if I was being gathered into someone’s arms, with the sound of someone whispering that I was safe into my ear. Even through the metal of his armor as I was slowly nodding off, I couldn’t help but notice he had the calming scent of pine.

———

While usually waking was experienced as a gradual and gentle thing, I was jolted awake with a major bitch of a headache. It hurt, it hurt so bad. That wasn’t even considering how painful it was to breathe. I groaned, slamming my hand down multiple times against the plush of the bed. I had to get up. I knew what I had to gather to get rid of this headache, but I could barely bring myself to move, even upon the sound of a door opening.

“Oh! You’re awake!” the girlish voice gasped. “I must let her highness know—”

“Wait!” I called, my voice gravelly and hoarse. Peeking up blearily, I glared at her. “I will not listen to anything you have to say to me until you get me the following three things: preening nettle, sleeping grass, and yellow clover. Fresh, dried, I don’t care. They should be common enough. And… wait. I need five things, actually. A mortar and pestle and a glass of water too. Thank you.”

Though the girl seemed to reel back in confusion for a few seconds, she nodded before running off. Satisfied she understood my command, I dropped my head into the pillow once more. Though I knew I should have been confused or even scared, that quick look I had of my surroundings told me that I wasn’t in any danger. First off, I was in a bed, one made of cotton and feathers, not of straw. And then was the deep red wallpaper decorated with flowers and birds. And the last was the girl, a maid, I think. Whoever it was that saved me was making sure I was treated like a queen. Which meant…

An uncomfortable feeling settled in my gut. Whoever took me here needed me for something. And they knew the fact they saved me made me honor bound to them. Which meant… whatever was about to occur within the next few hours was not going to be any good for me.

Still, if there was one thing I had to say about the people that “saved” me, it was that they definitely ran a tight ship. Not ten minutes after I gave that made my request, she arrived back with everything in tow. Though the herbs I asked for weren’t uncommon, it wasn’t as if most people had them on hand. I would have assumed she would need to take a quick trip to the store or a garden first, but whoever owned this building seemed to have everything on hand.

I didn’t give myself much time to marvel, though. The bitch of a headache wasn’t getting any better and I refused to deal with it. So though I knew that maid had something to say, I ignored her as I painfully climbed my way out of bed and took the items from her. Placing them upon the nearest table, carelessly plucked three leaves of preening nettle, six stems of sleeping grass, and two clovers. It was a heavy dosage, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Throwing them in the mortar, I haphazardly mashed them together. Then after pouring the cup of water inside, I brought the bowl up to my lips and drank eagerly. Though some of the liquid dribbled down my lips onto my clothes, it was a price I was willing to pay.

Slamming the mortar back onto the table, I waited. One second. Five seconds. Ten. And my headache melted away. Admittedly, it wasn’t the best job. I was feeling a slight wave of nausea coming along due to the overdose, but it was something I was willing to deal with. But seeing I could now finally think, I turned back to the maid.

“You. Bring the woman that brought me here. I know she’s been waiting to speak to me.” With wide eyes, the maid then nodded and rushed out the door. Taking a seat upon the couch, I sighed, rubbing my temples gently. I just wanted to go home, but if my intuition was telling me correctly, I would be stuck with something very tedious for a long while. What a pain.

Not before long, the door finally opened and a woman walked in. Though she was not wearing a mask anymore, her baby blue eyes and curled blonde hair was still just as eye-catching as it was the day I first saw her. She was beautiful, stunning even. But she seemed frail. Was it how thin her arms were? Or the paleness of her skin? As she came and took a seat before me, a few others followed, the maid from before and two knights. This meant that, not only was this woman rich, but she was a person of nobility, even royalty. I wanted to scowl. This was going to be tedious.

“How are you feeling?” she finally asked once everyone got settled. “You’ve been asleep for the past three days.” Though worry was reflected in her eyes, I still found myself suspicious. I already had a bad track record with humans and I wasn’t about to trust this one anytime soon. “I’ve been worried—”

“Who are you and why have you brought me here?” I demanded, crossing my arms. She may have wanted to get within my good graces, but I wasn’t in the mood to consider such pleasantries. She wanted me for something and I expected her to be honest about it.

“How dare you talk to Her Highness in that way! Don’t you know who you are—” The maid yelled, but from a simple raised hand of the woman, the maid quieted. But just as I expected, this woman was royalty. Kill me. But now that I was taking a closer look at the woman, it certainly made sense. She definitely had that sort of air to her and held herself high. But still. Would a woman of royalty look so—

“Before we get to that, let me introduce myself. I am Layla Asmodeus, wife of Sion Asmodeus.” Asmodeus? The name certainly sounded familiar. Even despite how secluded the elven villages were, some news of the outside world came around. And Asmodeus was one of those names. If I remembered correctly, it was a very important name. Something to do with the Daemonium Kingdom. Yes, wasn’t it—

Oh kill me a billion times over.

“Yes, I’m the Queen of the Daemonium Kingdom.”

I couldn’t help myself. I let out a groan, an exceedingly loud groan, and went right back to rubbing my temples. All of this nonsense simply because I had the sudden and foolish urge to find out more about my mother. I ignored all of my grandfather’s warnings and look what happened. Never again would I be stubborn and not listen. Now I would have to serve the famed wife of the Demon King.

“Okay, fine, of course you are. Then what do you need me for, Your Highness?”

“I need you to—” And then came a cough. Then another, a wet one. Looking up from my misery, I froze upon seeing blood dribbling down the queen’s chin. Immediately the knights jumped into action as the maid dashed out the door calling for a doctor. But before the knight could take her away, she held out her hand once more.

“It’s okay,” she mumbled between coughs. It seemed her coughing fit was starting to die down. And after she spent a few moments gathering her bearings, she wiped her lips with a handkerchief and turned her attention to me once more.

“As you can see, I am dying.” My eyes narrowed as I looked her over. Though she did seem to not be well, I didn’t think that necessarily meant— “I do mean it. Ever since I was a child, I had this illness, but the older I’ve become, the worse it’s been getting. It took everything I had to make the journey here, and I don’t imagine I will be lasting two more years in this state. I wanted to meet you because I heard elves are knowledgeable with medicines and illnesses. Would you be able to cure me?”

I frowned, eyeing her over more. Well, if there was anything to say, this woman certainly came to the right person. Against common belief, not all elves were well versed in the medical arts. Some were mages while others created tools with magic stones. But my grandfather, the person that raised me, was a famous doctor in his younger years. Kingdoms and empires would call him from all over. And he imparted all his knowledge onto me.

“Is that the price I’ll have to pay for saving me?” I asked.

She nodded. I sighed. Standing up, I held out a hand to her.

“You may call me Mila, Your Highness. I will serve you dutifully up until the day I am fully able to cure you. This is my vow to you.” Taking my hand, she smiled.

“Thank you, Mila.”

“Then I will get started now, Your Highness,” I announced as I flipped her hand over and examined her veins. Dark purple, almost black. Placing my hand against her forehead, it was a few degrees higher than normal. Pupils dilated. Lymph nodes slightly swollen. Pressing my ear against her chest, her heart rate was quickened and her breathing sounded wet. Seeing that I could wrap my fingers around her wrist and overlap my fingers, she probably was not eating well either.

As I went about my work, I could hear the sounds of outrage from one of the knights. No doubt he thought I was too close to the Queen, but I hardly would be able to figure out what was wrong if I didn’t check her out myself. As I ran across the symptoms in my head, there were a few things that could be ailing her, all relatively easy to deal with, but those veins… If those were an indicator of anything, she was right. She wouldn’t be alive for much longer. I would have to run tests. But this was not the moment for that.

“As your doctor, this is my first order. Have one of the knights carry you back to your room and do your best to sleep. I will have some things for you once you wake,” I said as I made my way to the desk in the room. I would have to gather a few things to at least increase her energy and general health before anything. And—

“I… I don’t need to be carried. I can walk myself. And I just got up. If you have any tests to run, we can do them—” I turned and glared at her.

“No. There are bags under your eyes indicating you haven’t slept. You started wavering when I ran my initial diagnostics. And you are weak. A knight will carry you back to your room and you will go to sleep. Am I clear?” I crossed my arms and raised a brow, daring her to argue. And she certainly did try with her mouth gaping like a fish trying to figure out what to say.

“Your Highness, I think it would be best to listen to Miss Mila,” one of the knights finally said as he walked over and knelt next to the queen’s side. Now that I got a better look at him, he was a handsome thing with light brown hair and honey yellow eyes. Still, as I took a closer look at him, he didn’t exactly seem human like the other knight. But that was more intuition than anything. Letting out a sigh, the queen then nodded.

“Thank you, Sir Nolan. I will be relying upon you. Then I shall see you at a later time, Miss Mila. If you have any requests, please direct them to the staff of the estate. I instructed them to take care of you.” With that, she was carried from the room and took her people with her. Collapsing upon the bed, I gave out a sigh. Well, at the very least, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. Serving one person wouldn’t be that bad.

Still, it was rather strange that she was in such a bad state despite being a queen of a powerful kingdom. While I did know that demons had the vitality to not require medical care, certainly there should have been some doctors within the kingdom. And if not, the Demon King could have requested some to come from the neighboring kingdoms. Surely the queen could have been treated by someone from the church.

I hummed. On top of treating the queen, I would have to learn more about the world. I heavily underestimated how much I knew. I knew I was sheltered by my grandfather, but I didn’t realize it was that bad. Hmm… Well, the queen did say the staff would be willing to help me. I suppose I had enough time before the potion wore off to meet with them.

#ekolu.writes #otome isekai #original fiction #i am the demon queen's doctor

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