#the entire video is fantastic the case is hilarious and the editing is top-notch—i really wanted to save the headings in particular
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Tall Claims TV
Full list of faux-news headings from the Mumbo vs Hermitcraft case!
Record Sales Down After Players Discover /playsound Trick
Rich&Rich Gets Record Bonuses Despite Losing Customer Funds
Permit Office Closed from December to June for Christmas
Snow Begins to Fall as Xisuma Forgets to Run ‘No Rain’ Command
AI Chat Bot Found to be Lonely Man With a Redstone Keyboard
Mined Worker in Hospital After Proving ‘Water is Safe to Drink’
Diamond Inflation at All Time High as Doc Builds Another T-Bore
Bop and Go Jingle Still Topping Charts, World Tour Announced
Neck Roll Parrot Dance Goes Viral on Brick-Tok
Gem-M is Ditching Voice Chat and Would Rather Message Instead
Shopping District Portal Deemed ‘Ugly Beautiful’ by Poll
Etho Upgrades Tissue Box to a Washed Takeaway Container
Globe Earthers ‘Still Believe’ Despite Farlands Expedition
Moon Size Report: Still the Same (Thank Goodness)
Netherite Out of Style as Youth Opt for Less Flashy Brands
Independent Study Finds Thumb Shifting to be Optimal
Increase Arm Muscle 33.3% With One Simple Click! Story at 10
Big News: TV Caption Writers Would Like More Pay, Says Everyone
Older Minecrafters Say New Generations Have it Easy
Villagerian is the Most Hostile Language, According to Poll
Surplus Mega Corp. Says ‘Air Quality is Better Than Ever’
New Zombie Flesh Diet Guarantees Fast Results
Hacker Infiltrates Ender Chest Network—Items Lost
Engineers Add 5th tick to Repeater, Public Still Uninterested
‘Is That Sheep Looking At You?’ New Show by MineFlex
How Many is Too Many? Asks TV Caption Writers
Leaving Floating Trees Named Biggest ‘Ick’ by Gen-M
Blockympic Gold Medalist Banned After Failed Speed Potion Test
Pig Kills Owner After 20th ride Without Getting Carrot
New Smart Watch Puts F3 on Your Wrist
Wart Epidemic Caused by Irresponsible Marketing Campaign
New Study Finds 91% of Players Don’t Understand Comparators
Kelp Powered Furnaces Recommended to Fight Climate Change
Research Finds We do Not Live in a Simulation
Skyscraper Firm Lobbies Government for Increased Build Height
Copper Voted Best Block in Minecraft, Despite Limited Uses
Theoretical Physicists Model Curved Blocks Called ‘Balls’
Magic Mountain Lawn Flamingo Company Goes into Liquidation
Hungry Hermit Addiction Reaches Epidemic Levels
Gen-M Should ‘Stop Eating Golden Carrots’ To Save For Starter Base
#I’M SO OBSESSED WITH THESE. i hope whoever wrote them finds a triple vein of diamonds when they next go mining#the entire video is fantastic the case is hilarious and the editing is top-notch—i really wanted to save the headings in particular#hermitcraft#hermitcraft spoilers#mumbo jumbo#hermitblr#kaya posts
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