#Slot 187

[rajaweb187-winner]

➮𝐃𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐀𝐑

➮𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐍

➮𝐈𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃

[rajaweb187-bigg]

➮𝐃𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐀𝐑

➮𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐍

➮𝐈𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃

[rajaweb187-2]

DAFTAR & LOGIN

[rajaweb187-idn]

DAFTAR & LOGIN

[megalony]

Finally Coming True

This is a new Evan Buckley imagine that I am very happy with, I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) has come to terms with the fact that she can't have children of her own. There are other ways for her and Evan to have a family. But their luck might be about to change.

(I'm thinking of making this into a little series if anyone is interested)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrenaline sparked in (Y/n)'s stomach when she felt a familiar pair of arms curve around her waist and a pointed chin perch on top of her head due to their height difference. She loved the feeling of his fingers squeezing her hips lovingly and the way he tugged her back so she was pressing into his chest like they were two pieces of a puzzle slotting together perfectly.

Evan's firm chest felt like a wall supporting (Y/n) as she leaned some of her weight back into him and felt the way he barely moved at the extra weight leaning on him.

Reaching her hands down, (Y/n) held onto Evan's wrists and gave a little squeeze, letting her shoulders tilt back a bit more so she was slouched down against him.

Her eyes cast up and her head tilted back until she managed to catch his eye and grin up at him. She felt him press a kiss to her temple and the sensation had her nerves tingling with excitement and love, all at once. She melted against his lips, wanting them to stay there forever, but she had to look back at the scene in front of them. Evan wasn't the one she was supposed to be admiring.

This was the first time (Y/n) had witnessed a hospital wedding, and the first time she had actually heard of one that wasn't just in movies for dramatic effect when someone was dying.

It was a different experience, having everyone cramped into the same room, all coiled together. Some smartly dressed, others wearing something casual that they slipped into last minute to make sure they were here on time.

She was glad both she and Evan had stayed somewhat smartly dressed. (Y/n) was in the plum purple dress she would of worn to the original ceremony, had the wedding taken place back at the manor hotel. And Evan was in a smart pair of trousers and a pale blue shirt with the top few buttons undone and the sleeves rolled neatly up to his elbows.

They didn't look like they had received a last-minute invite and rushed down here, they looked good enough for family photos.

Although (Y/n)'s heart was melting at seeing her niece in her cute little dress and the balloon she was still holding which she refused to let go of.

(Y/n) glanced her eyes up towards her husband when he murmured "Remember the words?" into her hair.

She did indeed remember the words Bobby was uttering since he was officiating the wedding. They were a little different from two years ago when (Y/n) and Evan got married, but it was all along the same lines and if (Y/n) closed her eyes, she could still hear Evan repeating those words to her at the alter.

She felt a little guilty that her and Evan's wedding day had gone without a hitch and poor Maddie had received the fright of her life with Chimney and had to have her day ruined and postponed like this. But at least they were still getting their wedding day with their family and friends, and they seemed happy which was enough for everyone.

"Course I do," She murmured back and turned her head to kiss Evan's bicep. She grinned when he squeezed his arms tighter around her and tilted his head down to attach his lips to the top of her head, kissing her hair.

(Y/n) couldn't stop her eyes from glancing back down towards Jee who was stood right beside Maddie, smiling brightly with all the excitement. She looked so cute. Sweet enough to bring tears to (Y/n)'s eyes that she willed away before anyone noticed.

But it was as if Evan could sense what was running through her mind because his arms squeezed into her waist and he tugged her back into his chest. His body curled around her a bit more like he was becoming a security blanket, engulfing her in his frame.

Evan could feel the longing radiating off of (Y/n), and it was breaking his heart.

Looking at Jee always broke something inside of (Y/n) at the same time that her niece also managed to heal those shattered pieces.

(Y/n) couldn't have kids. Her likelihood of having children was less than ten percent, which was enough of a reassurance to (Y/n) that she was never going to have a child naturally. She had spent many nights crying, telling Evan the family he'd always envisioned, the one he wanted to make and grow and nurture so much better than his own parents had, was never going to happen.

Adopting was going to be their future, it was something they were looking into and as much as that helped, it still hurt to know (Y/n) wasn't going to get the pregnancy experience like every other woman.

She and Evan practically took Jee in when Maddie had her breakdown and went for treatment. She had become a daughter to them for a short time and even now, they took Jee out on day trips, they had her for sleepovers and generally showered her with love because she was their family. She was the child they couldn't have.

"…You can now kiss the bride."

Evan snapped out of the trance he had put himself in when Bobby's words registered in his ears. He looked over at his big sister and one of his closest friends. He couldn't be happier for them. When Maddie married Doug, the ceremony had been small and their parents didn't even turn up. Evan had felt dread in the pit of his stomach that day, and he could never get over how it felt like she was making such a big mistake.

This time, it was invigorating to feel warmth and happiness and a general sense of ease at knowing his sister was going to be happy this time. She deserved it. She needed it.

Evan took a step back, subsequently tugging (Y/n) back with him so they weren't too cramped between everyone else. It was lovely and endearing to have the closest people in their little circuit in here for the ceremony, but it was also unnerving. There was no space between them all. Everyone was nudging elbows and leaning on each other and it was very, very warm in here now.

Pushing up on her tiptoes, (Y/n) pressed a kiss to Evan's cheek and grinned when Evan tilted his head to catch her lips with his. She felt his tongue tracing her lower lip as if begging for entrance, but he pulled back before he could get any further. It was as if he remembered they were in public, at a ceremony. They couldn't be too touchy-feely in public.

Her fingers danced along his jaw and traced up towards his ear while she leaned up towards him and pecked his cheek.

"Love you." He whispered softly into her ear, feeling the way (Y/n) took a deep breath and the feel of her heartbeat pulsing beneath her skin. There weren't many special moments in Evan's life that weren't overshadowed by other things or people he'd rather forget.

But he knew this memory wasn't going to be tainted. This was going to be something that stuck with him for all the right reasons and made him happy. He had his wife in his arms, his family surrounding him and a moment that made all the difference in their lives right here and now. It felt like everyone in this room had someone to share the moment with, and Evan was glad he had (Y/n) here with him.

So many moments in his life he had witnessed alone, good and bad, and it always ate away at him. Not anymore.

Having (Y/n) in his arms, making him feel loved and happy and whole meant this day was going to be a good day. It was going to be a memory that wouldn't be tainted by bad thoughts or moods or by something bad happening.

"Love you too." (Y/n) let her temple rest against Evan's jaw and she took a moment to close her eyes and savour in the feeling of his embrace.

Her lips curved up and her hands tightened around his wrists when he gently but firmly started to tug her backwards with him again so they were melting into the background. Moving them both out the way so that Maddie could move and some pictures could be taken.

Pulling on Evan's arms, (Y/n) pushed up on her toes and hovered her lips over his ear.

"Just going to the bathroom, save me some cake."

"Will do." He muttered against her cheek, turning to steal another kiss from her lips before he eventually let her squirm out of his arms.

(Y/n) tilted her head down, a shy smile gracing her lips as she coiled her arms into her chest and slowly weaved her way through the other guests in the room. She tried not to push or bump into anyone and wormed her way out the door, taking a deep breath when she was finally back in the corridor.

It was lovely to see so many people enjoying the ceremony, but it wasn't great for them all to be cramped together like that. The room was starting to feel like a sauna with all the body heat crowding together and (Y/n) was glad for a little breathing room.

Once the room had started to fill up, Evan had graciously looped his arms around (Y/n) and moved her in front of him to keep her close and so she didn't have to be too close to anyone else. He knew wrapping himself around her would make her feel at ease with her anxiety. The last thing he wanted was for (Y/n) to feel uncomfortable or start to panic.

Rattling her fingers through her hair, (Y/n) smiled to herself and made her way down the corridor and turned the corner.

It didn't take long to find the nearest toilets and when she was done, she slowed down her walk to have another minute or so to herself before she went back into the enlightened room with the raised atmosphere.

She stuck close to the wall, letting her head lean to one side when she watched Jee trot out of the room, the balloon now tied to her wrist so it would follow her like a shadow without risk of floating away. She stopped in her tracks and watched Evan trail after her, but when he reached down and swooped Jee up into his arms, (Y/n) could feel her heart constricting.

Her hand moved to her chest as if the way her heart clenched was the beginning of a heart attack. She could feel her lungs becoming taut and narrow and she couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes when Evan kissed Jee's cheek. He sat her on his hip and wandered down the corridor with her.

She wondered where the pair of them were going, but it didn't really matter. It was the sight of them that made (Y/n) feel like someone was driving an ice pick through her heart.

"Hey, you okay?"

Tremors rattled through (Y/n)'s chest and she shuddered, pushing off the wall to twist to the left. She felt a wave of relief when she noticed it was only Hen and she let herself relax and turned to press her shoulders back into the wall. Her arms coiled around her waist and she nodded before she tilted her head down to fight off the rest of the tears threatening to overwhelm her.

"I'm good, you?"

She hadn't realised Hen had slipped out of the room too. She felt like she had a close friend in Hen. Of course, Evan had Eddie who was like a brother, and Chimney was now technically a brother to him, but there was a strong bond between Hen and Evan. He could tell her anything, and therefore, (Y/n) had gotten close to her too.

Hen glanced back down the corridor but she didn't make a move to go back towards the room just yet. Instead, she moved to stand beside (Y/n) with her hands tucked into her pockets and an understanding look on her face.

"Are you okay, really?"

(Y/n) managed a smile and let out a small laugh that almost sounded broken. She swiped her hand beneath her eyes, making sure she wasn't actually crying, before she ran her hands up and down her thighs to give herself something to do and create a distraction.

"Yeah, just… he just looked so cute, with Jee. I got a bit emotional, I know it's silly."

"It's not silly." The tender look in Hen's eyes made (Y/n) feel a little better, but she still felt like she was being too emotional without much cause.

Her arms moved to fold over her chest and she tilted her head down while her shoulders and back stayed pressed into the wall. It didn't matter that (Y/n) had already resigned the idea of being pregnant and having a child naturally, seeing Evan with Jee made that frustration and anger creep back up her throat.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. (Y/n) hated that her body was so against her like this. Sometimes, she wished she'd never found out she couldn't have kids. At least then she and Evan would have a small morsel of hope rather than the damning knowledge that it was never going to happen.

"That sight might be familiar in a year or two, you never know, you two might have a baby." Hen reached out to rub (Y/n)'s arm softly and she smiled, right until (Y/n) lifted her head.

The sorrow in her eyes wiped away Hen's smile and made her think she had said something wrong.

"I doubt it." Her eyes cast down towards her shoes that were tapping out an uneven rhythm against the tiled floor. "I've got cystic ovaries… he's got no chance of having a child with me."

No matter how many times Evan reassured her, (Y/n) always felt nervous when the subject of kids came up. She feared that one day Evan was going to wake up and realise he'd made a mistake, sacrificing any biological kids of his own to have a life with (Y/n). She worried he would turn around one day and say that it didn't matter how much he loved her, he needed to find someone he could have a proper family with.

And could (Y/n) really blame him if that happened?

"Oh, I- Buck never mentioned it. I know how hard that can be, IVF didn't work for me and Karen, and she took it hard."

Evan had never brought it up with anyone on the team, he barely talked about it to Maddie. It was something that brought Evan down at times, but it wasn't something he was hung up on. He didn't care how he and (Y/n) had kids, as long as their future would contain kids at some point, then he didn't care about the method.

And he had never said anything to the team or had that longing look in his eyes when they had to look after kids on shift or come into contact with kids in emergencies. He was always good at calming kids down and keeping them occupied and giving out random facts. Evan was great with kids, everyone could see it and if he was ever asked if he had kids, his response was always 'not yet.' with a smile that said he would have kids soon. Eventually.

"I just, I feel like I'm letting him down sometimes. You've seen him with kids, and he's amazing with Jee. I can't make that happen."

"There's always adoption… I know it's not my place, but Buck has found the one with you. Kids don't have to be biological, and that doesn't matter to Buck, I know it. Any kids with you, no matter how it happens, would be his idea of a blessing."

Hen's words of wisdom sounded surprisingly like what Evan had said to her one night when they talked about the future.

Evan didn't care if they fostered or adopted or ended up taking in ad caring for a child he met on a call out at work who needed a safe loving home. All Evan cared about was them making their family together, the exact way that happened wasn't an issue for him.

And (Y/n) knew deep down that whenever they got round to adopting or fostering, it would feel envigorating and as if their family was that much closer to being complete. It was just taking time to get used to the fact that it wasn't going to happen quite how she had always pictured when growing up.

***

A jolt ran through Evan's body and he shot up from the bed, sitting upright when a horrid sound seemed to vibrate through the house. His eyes scanned around the bedroom, momentarily panicked about why there was so much light creeping through the curtains until he remembered it had to be sometime in the afternoon.

He had been on a double shift. He didn't sleep last night, he came home this morning and completely crashed the moment he climbed into bed.

He sat up in the middle of the bed, feeling his heart hammering against his chest as he scrambled to get up off the bed and find his bearings. Whatever crash he had just heard in the house wasn't normal and Evan knew he wasn't home alone. (Y/n) was here. Either that noise was from her, or someone was breaking in during the day.

"Baby, you alright?" His voice was apprehensive as he headed out the bedroom and took a look around before he wandered quickly into the hall. "(Y/n), what was that noise?"

"Evan…" The weak call of his name had panic bubbling up inside Evan's stomach and he surged forward, hurrying towards the stairs.

Before he could even call out and ask (Y/n) whereabouts she was in the house, he saw her.

Crumpled at the bottom of the stairs. She'd fallen.

"Shit."

His heart jumped into his throat as he thundered down the stairs, pulling his lower lip between his teeth at the sight in front of him. (Y/n) was sat on the floor in front of the stairs, her legs curled beneath her with her back up against the wall and her body slouched to the side like she was about to curl up on the floor and go to sleep. Her hands were covering her face, partially smothering the small whimpers she was letting out along with each harsh breath she took which fanned against her palms.

When Evan got closer to her, he realised she was trembling. He clung to the bannister and used it to climb over (Y/n) since she was right at the bottom of the stairs.

He spun round and moved to kneel down beside her and he gingerly rested his palms on her thighs, unsure where to touch her because he didn't know where she had gotten hurt.

"Baby, look at me. Are you hurt?" His thumbs stroked up and down her thighs while he leaned closer to try and inspect her for any signs of injury or pain.

(Y/n)'s hands continued to tremble even as Evan carefully cupped her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face so he could look at her. He lowered her hands to her lap until (Y/n) whimpered and her left hand jerked up. His attention darted down and he brought her left hand up for inspection.

His lower lip sucked between his teeth. Her middle and fourth finger were trembling and bent at odd angles. They might be broken.

Evan went to say something, but when his eyes lifted to lock onto (Y/n)'s face, his expression fell and a sigh parted from his lips. He let go of her hand and reached out to cup her face in his hands, tilting her head back so he could try and inspect her forehead.

She had a rather large gash on the right side of her temple and a steady flow of blood was trickling down her head towards her cheek. It didn't take much guessing to figure out that she had fallen which such a bang that she cracked her head on the unit in front of the stairs that housed the shoes.

"Oh baby… I think I might have to take you to the emergency room."

(Y/n) couldn't help the way she groaned and the quiet mewl that left her lips. She could feel the blood trickling down the side of her face and her head was throbbing like she was a drum constantly being whacked. Tears were streaming down her face as she pushed forward and slumped her face onto Evan's bare shoulder.

She felt bad for getting tears and streaks of blood smeared onto his skin, but he didn't seem to care at all. His arms enveloped around her frame and he cupped the back of her neck as he kissed the top of her head softly.

She knew she was accident prone, but this was the first time (Y/n) had fallen down the stairs the year that they had lived in this house.

Her hand was twitching in agony on her lap, her head felt like it was swelling up to the size of a helium balloon and she felt queasy.

Ragged breaths left her lips as she tried to regulate her system for a few moments until Evan gently slid his hands down to hold her waist.

"Shall we try and get you up? I wanna get you checked out."

(Y/n) moved her hands to his biceps, keeping her face tucked into his shoulder and her eyes tightly closed to see if it would help with the headache throbbing in her temple. Her body was rattling like a pill box but once she was on her feet, (Y/n) felt like her bones had turned to jelly.

Her knees caved in and her weight fell onto Evan as her mind short-circuited. Her hands lost their grip on his arms and she slid down until Evan quickly buckled his arms around her torso and pinned her against him.

"Woah, baby, baby you still with me?" The quiet noise that clawed past her lips was enough to alert Evan that she hadn't passed out yet.

He tightened his arms around her and carefully turned her to the side and leaned her backwards until she sat down on the stairs. He let her slump against the bannister and crouched back in front of her, cupping her neck so she was looking down at him.

"You're definitely concussed. I'm gonna get changed and then we'll go to the emergency room, okay?"

(Y/n) sighed as she went to rake her fingers through her hair before she remembered that her hair had been tightly tied up at the back of her head. It induced the headache she already had and made her skin feel tight, but it had been necessary so the nurse could inspect the cut on her temple that started at the tip of her hairline and went down towards her brow.

She moved her hands down to her lap and ran her fingers up and down her thighs to try and keep herself busy and give herself something to do.

Her eyes locked on the cardboard sick bucket laid at the end of the bed and she grimaced and turned away from it. That was the second one she'd had since coming down to the emergency room. The nurse hadn't even started to patch her up and (Y/n) had clammed up and threw up on the floor. Then again five minutes later when she was handed one of those sick buckets. Since then, Evan had kept that one nearby just in case.

He knew concussions often made people sick, he had seen enough people throw up after a bad accident and once, someone had even thrown up on Chimney.

"You okay?" Evan whispered softly and when (Y/n) looked in his direction, he leaned closer to the bed she was sat on and reached out for her. His fingers cupped her chin and he tilted her head down so he could inspect her cut. Again.

The nurse had said it was deep but rather than stitch it, she had glued the cut together. Now (Y/n) couldn't get it wet for almost two weeks, which meant if she wanted to wash her hair, she was going to have to enroll Evan's help to carefully wash her hair and keep the water off her temple.

"The pain relief isn't helping," (Y/n) hated how her head throbbed and continued to feel like it was being hit with a hammer.

Whatever the nurse had given her when they arrived hadn't been enough to take away the throbbing headache (Y/n) had or the queasy feeling overwhelming her stomach. She felt like someone was about to rip her head off with how horrid the pain was and (Y/n) didn't want to think what it would feel like if she hadn't of had the pain relief at all.

"You'll feel better soon." Evan mused quietly while he dragged his thumb along her lower lip and leaned forward from his seat to peck her cheek.

He looked down at (Y/n)'s hand, noting that her fingers were starting to swell and she could barely bend them at all. She needed an X-ray, but that had to wait as the gash on her temple took precident, especially considering (Y/n) didn't have the willpower to move when they arrived. She had been drowsy and the concussion was only just starting to taper off.

At least she was conscious and properly alert now.

Evan had held her good hand and tried to take her mind off the bloods she had to have when they arrived. Then they had to wait until she had pain relief and was back to her senses before the nurse glued her head and left her to feel a bit better. Now they were waiting for someone to guide them down to X-ray because once her hand was in a splint, Evan could take her back home.

(Y/n) leaned over the side of the bed, keeping both hands on the bed so she wasn't in danger of losing her balance and toppling off onto Evan's lap. She brushed her nose against his and leaned down to steal a kiss from his lips. She felt his thumb grazing up and down her chin as he sat on the edge of his seat to be as close to her as possible.

But the moment was broken up when there was a light knock on the cubicle door and a nurse entered the room.

(Y/n) managed a small smile and moved her hands to her knees which were crossed beneath her on the bed. She watched Evan sink back in the chair while his hands began smoothing up and down his jeans in a nervous habit.

"Can I get an X-ray now?" (Y/n) gingerly held up her left hand which was still trembling and her two suspected broken fingers were partly curled, unable to bend in any direction.

"I think a doctor is organising that for you now. But we've had all the results back, you do indeed have a concussion, but your bloods have come back clear from any infection,"

"Good." Evan murmured softly and reached over to run his hand along (Y/n)'s thigh.

It hadn't been a big worry that she might have any kind of infection or illness, but with (Y/n) cutting her head and coming in with a lot of concussion symptoms, they had to make sure. They didn't want to send her home without antibiotics if she had any infection or anomaly in her blood, it was better to be safe than sorry.

"But, we do have some good news. The bloods show that you're pregnant, congratulations."

The smile on the nurse's face was a beaming one and it dazzled (Y/n) to the point she thought she was going to go blind. She looked like a young nurse, as if she hadn't been in this job long because she was overly happy to give them the wrong news.

(Y/n) couldn't help the way her lips curled down and the headache thumping at her temple got louder and harder. Why were they doing this to her? How stupid could they be that they managed to switch her results with someone else's?

She couldn't have kids. She'd been to her doctor many, many times for all the problems she'd had with polycystic ovaries. There were a few of them around her fallopian tubes and they were large and blocked the eggs from being released. (Y/n) had less than a ten percent chance of having kids, that was what she had always been told.

And even if she did somehow get pregnant, the exams and treatment she'd had confirmed that her cervix was small and weak. It meant she probably wouldn't carry a baby to full term anyway.

No matter how many people tried to calm her nerves, (Y/n) knew she was irrevocably damaged.

"I c- I can't get pregnant." The little huff at the end of her voice almost sounded like a laugh and she turned to look at Evan, exasperation on her face and a broken look in her eyes. As if she were asking him to step in and make this right, to get this nurse to see whatever mistake she had made with those results she had in her hands.

The look on Evan's face was perplexed as he sighed and began tracing his hand up and down his jaw.

Out of all the people in this hospital, they had to mix (Y/n)'s results up. Couldn't this of happened to someone else? It was cruel. This was going to give them a sense of false hope that they couldn't believe in. Evan used to try and make (Y/n) feel better about their situation with kids, he'd say because the doctor couldn't say she was one hundred percent never going to get pregnant, that they had a chance.

But with their likelihood being so low, any sense of hope felt foolish and he could see it didn't help.

"Oh, but the results-"

"I have polycystic ovaries, they- they got damaged. My doctor said I have a two percent chance of having a baby. I'm not pregnant. Don't-" Her desperate eyes darted between the nurse and Evan who was now standing up beside the bed. "Don't do this to me."

They had a false alarm before. (Y/n)'s condition meant she often had missed periods, heavy periods and they were never regular. But when she went three months without a proper period, she hoped. She prayed that they had a small slither of a chance at being pregnant. A trip to the doctor had left (Y/n) in a slump for weeks when she found out she wasn't within a chance of having a baby.

She didn't want any more false chances like that.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she tried to regulate her breathing while Evan stepped as close to the bed as he could. Both his hands moved down to squeeze her shoulders and he leaned down so he could kiss the back of her head. Not wanting to go near her temple and cause her any pain or dare touch the glue that was still setting in her gash.

He let (Y/n) lean into his torso and when her hand reached up to cling tightly to his arm, he felt her starting to shake again. He gripped her shoulders and leaned his cheek on top of her head for a moment or two before he looked over at the nurse.

"Your hormone levels show you are pregnant, these tests are hardly ever wrong. But I'll go find you some water to drink and I'll book for you to go for an ultrasound right away. Just to make certain."

The nurse looked very uncertain and panicked and Evan figured she thought she may just have given the wrong person the wrong results or the labs might have made a mistake.

But Evan jolted back when (Y/n) scrambled up from the bed before the nurse had chance to step back.

(Y/n) reached out and snatched the paper from the young woman's hands and stepped to the side so the paper couldn't be taken from her too soon. Her eyes blurred as she scanned over the words and numbers, most of which washed over her head and looked like jumbled nonsense to her.

She scanned down near the bottom of the page, fingers almost crumpling the paper as she read over the elevated hormone levels she had. This was her results. That was her blood group. Her name and date of birth at the top of the page. And there it was in black and white at the bottom of the page.

*The presence of these hormones indicate pregnancy.

Horrible tremors rattled through her arms and caused her knees to quake back and forth like tooth picks about to snap in half. She could barely take in a proper breath until her lungs were gasping for air and her throat was tightening up in panic.

The page crumpled in her hands, crinkling and tearing at the sides as all the words blurred into one big mush of black and white swirls like it had been drenched in water.

She could feel her knees giving way on her but before she hit the floor, Evan's arms bolted around her waist. His fingers laced together and his hands imbedded into (Y/n)'s stomach so he could reel her back into his chest to stop her from crashing to the floor.

Evan curled over her like some kind of blanket, moulding his chest into her back and he smothered his lips against the side of her neck as (Y/n)'s weight leaned on his arms and he held her up. She dropped the crumpled piece of paper to the floor and switched to digging her nails into Evan's wrists like she was reassuring herself that this was real, this wasn't some kind of dream or awful nightmare.

The nurse rushed forward to try and help but she froze when Evan shook his head. (Y/n) hadn't fainted, she hadn't blacked out or gone unconscious, she was just in a panicked state and Evan would calm her down.

"Book that ultrasound please."

The nurse did as requested and disappeared from the room. She would find two bottles of water for (Y/n) to guzzle so she could get (Y/n) booked in for an ultrasound within the hour. She didn't fancy waiting and seeing what kind of panicked state (Y/n) might go into if she didn't receive some clarity soon.

Tears began to fall from (Y/n)'s eyes as she clung to Evan's arms and gasped for air when her lungs finally started to take in proper breaths again. She flopped her head back on his shoulder while he carefully moved her over to the side. He twisted around and sat down on the bed, shuffling back enough so that he could pull (Y/n) up onto the bed and sit her between his thighs.

She slouched back into his chest, reduced to tears and despite the pounding agony in her temple, she leaned her head on Evan's shoulder with her forehead touching his neck.

"Hey, hey, it's alright. Our luck might be changing, sweetheart."

***

It couldn't be true.

That was the only thing circulating through (Y/n)'s mind as she and Evan walked into the ultrasound room. No. The test had been wrong. Her hormone levels must just be elevated due to her polycystic syndrome. It had to be a mistake. (Y/n) couldn't allow herself one second of false hope because no matter how small that hope lifted her, the fall was always catastrophic and the landing was even worse.

But every time she looked back at Evan, he had that faraway look in his eyes that made (Y/n) want to scream and kiss him all at once. He would dither on the edge of hope, and if this turned out to be wrong, he would somehow manage to hold himself together and hide the rushing agony from his face.

(Y/n) knew he was anything but calm, she knew there would be one hundred and one thoughts raging through Evan's mind right now, but he hid it so well that it was infuriating.

She felt his hand on her lower back as they headed into the ultrasound room and looked over at the doctor.

The doctor looked like a calm lady who took everything in her stride, and by the look in her eyes and the nurturing smile on her face, she had been told. She had been informed about (Y/n)'s adamance that the results had been wrong and this was not going to go the right way.

"Hi there, Mrs Buckley, right?"

When (Y/n) nodded, the doctor ushered her to sit down on the bed. (Y/n) knew the drill. She had suffered through far too many ultrasounds relating to her condition, especially when her symptoms flared up. Only one had been to check whether she had been pregnant or not, and this was going to work out exactly the same.

(Y/n) rolled up her shirt towards her bra, but when she looked to her left, she reached out and took Evan's hand. She gripped it tightly and pulled his hand to rest against her side. She wanted to smile when she felt him kissing the top of her head, but she couldn't manage it.

"Okay, let's take a look."

She was suddenly glad that the screen was turned away from them. (Y/n) didn't want to look. She didn't think she would understand what she was looking at anyway, but seeing an empty space was only going to make her heart break all over again.

It was an uncomfortable but familiar feeling to have the sonogram pressing down on her abdomen, making her bladder squeeze and feel like she was about to burst.

She tilted her head away from the doctor to look towards Evan; she wanted badly to press her face into his torso but knew she couldn't in case she wanted another agonising headache.

"I can see a few cysts, roughly the same as your last ultrasound."

(Y/n) muttered a quiet "As normal," under her breath because that was exactly what she was expecting to hear.

"And then there's a baby in here too."

Her words caused (Y/n)'s head to snap to the right as her jaw hung loose. She could feel Evan's hand tightening around hers while he pushed forward into the bed harsh enough to make the frame rattle and unbalance (Y/n) by mistake.

"No… no, I- I can't," (Y/n) looked between Evan and the doctor, begging for one of them to tell her that this wasn't happening. Since she was nineteen she had been told that it wasn't likely to get pregnant, and then her doctor all but put it in stone that this wasn't going to be her reality.

"Then what'd you call that?" Evan murmured against the shell of her ear, his smile so wide (Y/n) could feel it against her skin as he leaned into her and pointed at the monitor when it was turned in their direction.

Evan was no doctor, but he knew what that grey, blurred shape was on the screen. He knew that was a baby. Their baby. No one was lying to them or mixing up their results, this was happening. Finally, after so many restless nights crying and resolving that they weren't going to have a baby of their own. It was finally coming true.

Her grip tightened around Evan's hand until he had no circulation left in his fingers, not that he minded at all. He kissed her cheek, then her lips when she turned her head up in his direction and (Y/n) could feel her tears soaking into his skin. She couldn't help the flood wave of tears beginning to stream down her face.

"I'd say your about eleven weeks, all looks good. I'll add some notes to your file, and you should get in touch with your doctor as soon as possible. You can be put on antenatal care now."

That was something (Y/n) never thought she was going to hear.

A small laugh tumbled past her lips before she turned to the left and deadlocked her arms around Evan's neck. She pulled him down to her and burrowed her face in his shoulder, ignoring the blinding sparks in her temple that were nothing compared to the adrenaline sparking throughout her system and the butterflies swarming through her blood.

She felt Evan's arms loop around her waist so he could pull her into his chest and he attached his lips to the side of her neck, unable to stop from grinning into her skin.

"What did I tell you? Our luck is changing, sweetheart." He knew it. Something just told Evan that those results weren't a mistake. It was like intuition in his gut. They were going to have a baby.

This was really happening.

[mspaintshurifin]

daily shurifin day 187

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IM IN THE PHIGHTING LEAGUES? WATCH ME(or my team if their slots r full cuz im a backup) PLAYING ON THE CROSSROAD CROISSANTS VS CASUALTY CLYPHS MATCH ON THEIR YOUTUBE CHANNEL LIVE (please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 /nf)

[canmom]

Animation Night 187: Garden of Remembrance & Annecy 2023

Hey everyone, it's that time of the week again!

First up, the Animation Night archive has been updated with Animation Night 182-186! The entries of late have been rather sparse, but they are in one place at least!

Tonight, we will continue to explore the Annecy DVDs, this time with the 2023 festival (of which you may recall some liveblogs). There are some absolute bangers this time - like the darkly hilarious Drijf, or the gorgeously absorbing La Saison Pourpre - but before that, there's a new release which we cannot wait to screen.

Which is... not the latest film by Naoko Yamada The Colours Within (Kimi no Iro), since that film isn't available yet outside of film festivals (we gave her two standing ovations for it at Annecy tho, it's good). It's the film before the latest film by Naoko Yamada: The Garden of Remembrance. Here's a quick trailer for ya:

Like every animation fan, I think Naoko Yamada - of K-On, A Silent Voice/Koe no Katachi and Liz and the Blue Bird - is the absolute bees knees and also the cats pajamas. And as you may know (perhaps from when we covered Heike Monogatari), in the wake of the horrific arson at Kyōto Animation, Yamada left her old home studio and went to work at Science Saru - neatly filling the slot of 'star auteur director' recently vacated by Masaaki Yuasa and no doubt making Eunyoung Choi very happy. Her work there, like Heike Monogatari, has definitely maintained many of her specific sensibilities as a director, even without KyoAni's unique production system to back it up.

So back in 2022, Yamada directed an adaptation of the Heike Monogatari to pair with Yuasa's Inu-Oh - seriously beautiful and moving, especially in its final arc, but the historical source material and huge cast makes it take a bit of effort to get into. Garden of Remembrance was her next project, a short film.

This 18-minute wordless film covers a subject that any Yamada-head will know well: girls playing music. It brings in a list of key animators that will make any sakubuta drool, with names among them like Shingo Yamashita and Weilin Zhang. Not to mention the bold and gorgeous colours. Word on the sakugabooru server is "it's peak".

So tonight we'll be watching that!

After that, we'll dive into the Annecy DVD. Plus a few more short films from around the web. But I don't have time to write more right now, but I'll try and find a chance to write about them after! (Also move the Annecy coverage to my website, and write up the last couple of days of that and worldcon, and and...)

Animation Night 187 is set to start at 9pm UK time - just over an hour hence - at twitch.tv/canmom!! Hope to see you there~! Should be a special one (but then, they're all special...)

[talenlee]

Decima Vex Gallery 6: The Rest!

And here we are, in 2025, after six full months of daily cards, and a whole year of two linked sets, presenting the last bits and pieces that make up the Decima Vex set.

Some of these cards are cards from other, existing factions, or hints of plot points earlier in the story. But all through December, you were getting to see them, so the spoilers are spoiled, the cards are presented, and, based on December 2023, there was probably one or two cards that provoked a super bunch of really vibrant arguments in a really weird way.

Decima Vex is a custom magic set created by Talen Lee. It’s composed of 187 cards, with 71 commons, 60 uncommons, 41 rares, and 15 mythic rares. Decima Vex is a custom Magic: The Gathering set, with at least one card spoiled a day, on Cohost, Kind.Social, and the r/custommagic subreddit.

WOTC Employees: This post in full presents unsolicited custom Magic: The Gathering card designs, which I understand current employee practices forbid you from looking at unsolicited. You shouldn’t be here!

This is the finale for the Decima Vex cards and the story told on those cards. With a year of hindsight now, looking back on these cards, and filled with all sorts of feedback from sources on Mastodon, Cohost (RIP) and Reddit, and time to marinate, I have some thoughts.

First of all: Bloomburrow and Foundations fucked me. Both of these sets, releasing in the later half of 2024 introduced some major changes to wording and rules templates. The first one, from Bloomburrow was the new ‘enters,’ which cut ‘the battlefield’ off a bunch of cards I’d made. Foundations also brought with it the change of ‘this card’ versus ‘CARDNAME,’ which means every card released from September on looked obviously dated, and some of the feedback I was given focused on the unhelpful premise of ‘did you know that a major wording update happened?’

This relates to another problem we’ll talk about later.

That’s not even the extent to which I got fucked in this design, because also, Outlaws of Thunder Junction represented the change from Draft Boosters to Play Boosters, which change the proportion of rarities! By releasing the set card by card, each day of the year, I created a virtual impression of the card being current when it was explicitly old, and old in a way that looks obviously wrong to players who keep current and are highly engaged. Like, you know, all the players in the Custom Magic community.

Secondly, I feel like I pushed very hard to make a three-colour set and I’m not happy with the results. While I love the three-colour factional math that started us off — the idea of doing a mixed set of pairings in two mid-sized sets — and some of the knock-on effects — such as one set that used +1/+1 counters across all mechanics and the other that did not use +1/+1 counters at all — there are still a number of three colour cards that are costed in ways I find unsatisfying.

Here, let me unpack this a little. I’m going to refer to the colours generically – A, B, C aren’t any specific characters, just note that they mean each three separate colours. For a number of three-colour cards, the cards could be AB, BC, and AC, which means that hypothetically they should be fine as ABC cards. Despite this though, as ABC cards, they create an intuitive ‘gap’ in them. For other ABC cards, they may be AB cards that wouldn’t normally be that cheap to cast, and turn some sum of generic mana into C, or wouldn’t get the effect at the scope they get it without making it harder to cast. I don’t like things like A(B/C) hybrid like Jund Hackblade, but reflecting on it now, I should have considered the value of this kind of design for cheaper, simpler cards.

This is some very fuzzy kind of divination in the colour pie, and when constructing a set these are real needs that need addressing in terms of filling slots and making effects available, it can feel like any given card, extracted from its context can feel like ‘oh, hey, this isn’t perfect, why isn’t it perfect?’ and my response is ‘because it belongs to a greater set and has a greater context’ which never gets a good response.

This also relates to our idea that comes up later, again.

I did like the factions’ flavour. Each of these ten factions feels to me like an interesting space for creating characters that feel meaningfully different and where each solves and approaches problems in different ways and brings with them a host of different art opportunities. Sometimes that worked out great, where I could find a seam of art in my art source (Artstation) that maintained and shared a visual aesthetic well, letting me create a faction out of unrelated parts (or, y’know, sometimes, related parts). I don’t think any of the factions have meaningful overlap with one another, either, which is something I’d normally be afraid of doing, especially when trying to represent characters I, personally, like.

I had favourites, no doubt: The Cazas Dawn are absolutely a favourite. I love their broken-Catholic imagery, and their post-apocalyptic resilience. I love the chalk-and-ink colour scheme, I love their hateful antagonistic relationship to their cursed dead god, the Saun. I love Jade, who helped inspire so much of the language around them (and I think is responsible for the word Saun!). It juxtaposes them with the Kraivh Assembly’s similarly deific church-empire, which is run by a lone man who tries to control his daughters through necromancy, opposed by a gaggle of women leaders recognise the corruption of their god.

I also love the Ynvei Conspiracy not as an example of a faction whose minds I agree with but whose pain I understand. They’re a red-blue-black faction of conspiracy theorists whose conspiracy, thanks to their magic, actually works and always discovers more layers of deeper and deeper sophistication. But that’s not because of a centering on blue (a study of perfection) or black (a ruthless individuality willing to do anything) but is instead centered on the red in the faction, the emotional need for the conspiracy to still be the conspiracy.

This was cool!

Now, on for some card-by-cards:

Friendly Glitterwing started out as a kind of Ajani's Pridemate, but it wound up taking a form that’s more ‘capped,’ that I find less likely to get out of hand.

The new card frame design on Righteous Iconoclast and its cousins excites me but I think that I just find card frames dividing up information more exciting than I should. An idea I really like for it is for the cycle to have four known cards and the fifth to have an unknown card in its sub-card.

Trezi Memorial started out as an Alchemy card. No lies, Seek is an effect I can appreciate being keyworded.

I really like Forked Futures as an example of a Divination effect, which is a common space I find fun to play around. Making a simple, common-worthy version of the effect is really challenging.

Skull Preservation ahs one of my favourite pieces of flavour text in the set.

The Dead-Hand Jab continues my love of Things That Reference the Umezawa’s Jitte.

Empire’s Wake should be rare.

One of the lasting marks about this year’s cards is a steady disillusionment with Reddit’s custom magic community. This isn’t just things about specific conflicts with people; I block people, I unblock people after I’ve cooled down, I manage my experience with people who directly annoy me. That’s normal and I don’t mind it. What I mind is that when Reddit’s custom magic is an aggregate, it feels unpleasant the more I use it.

Multiple times in 2024, I had posts of mine brigaded by people who very confidently wanted to argue with me about a card, while being wrong about it. Not just ‘we disagree about how to do things’ but in some cases, wildly incorrect. This year someone claimed that a mechanic didn’t work, and when I showed them the page and rule in the comprehensive rulebook that showed them it did, they told me they didn’t think it was real. I had people extensively constructing conspiracy theories about me on other subreddits because I had positions like ‘talk to your commander pod.’

One trend on the place is the way that upvotes are largely centered not on good design or a willingness to engage with cards as meaningful expressions of what they are doing, but rather a kind of commafucking, usually escalated. A card may not be appropriate at one mana, maybe more appropriate at two, but calling it ‘broken’ is where the conversation starts. People bring a deeply disorienting assumption to everything, which means that people complain a card designed for casual commander games is displaced by a CEDH staple… which is a good thing? There’s also the way that people completely misunderstand what a card even says and get mad at me for that.

AI Slop is also a big problem. An overwhelming number of cards being put on the subreddit these days are being shared with entirely generative art, credited (usually, as per site rules) to ‘midjourney’ or ‘stablediffusion’ or whatever. This makes cards look more boring, which is a real shame, especially knowing that the free generators that are available are capable of meaningful varied, interesting images, if you bother to build expertise with them, and that this is something of a perfect use case for these tools (a no-profit playful toy piece) that still makes things look bad.

There’s also the way the attention system is biased heavily towards memes. Things get a lot of attention for being funny, and posting trends tend towards being extremely, energetically trend-following. Someone makes a joke about Colossal Dreadmaw and we get a dozen posts in the same day shaking out the same sock looking for more of that lint. It’s frustrating because it means that the designers I do like, I don’t see what they make that often, and I don’t get to have the conversations with them I want to have, because so often, the subreddit is a trough. It doesn’t even follow the rules I want it to — I tell reddit to present things in a linear newest order, and it simply won’t. Very frustrating.

There are still however, some really good points that are hard to address for structural reasons. For example, I am really bad at capitalising subtypes and handling spaces in printed mechanical text, and periods get past me from time to time. It’s nice to be mindful of that kind of thing.

I’m not giving up on the Subreddit by any means! I am just making plans for next year to make the process easier to share, because of course, yes, I am still making daily cards in 2025.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[vmantras]

Oppo F27 5G

General Model F27 Sim Type Dual Sim, GSM+GSM (Hybrid Slot) Dual Sim Yes Sim Size Nano+Nano SIM SAR 1.09 W/kg (Head) 1.19 W/kg (Body) Device Type Smartphone Release Date August 20, 2024 In The Box Handset, Charger, USB Data Cable, Sim Ejector Tool, Quick Guide, Protective Case Design Dimensions 75.75 x 163.05 x 7.76 mm Weight 187 g Colors Silvery Grey, Ice Blue Display Type Color…

[wakingfromthewater]

617 keys

625 bursters

1 resonator

187 power cubes

188 mods

Someone who is good at inventory please help me I have no slots left

[go88vipro2024]

GO88

Go88 là một sòng bạc trực tuyến được ưa chuộng, nơi cung cấp một loạt các trò chơi đa dạng như tiến lên miền nam, sâm lốc, poker, baccarat, blackjack và nhiều trò chơi khác. Điện thoại: 0847879937 Email: go88vipro@gmail.com Địa chỉ: 187 Hai Tháng Tư, Vạn Thắng, Nha Trang, Khánh Hòa , Việt Nam Website: https://go88vi.pro/ Hagtag: #go88vipro #go88 #conggamego88

[dravidious]

You're actually so awesome

I decided to actually make a deck where I planned out what to put in it and how much, so I made an artisan deck based around Botanical Brawler. It was cool! Here was my plan (with added notes)

x4 botanical brawler x4 protection (to protect my big buff brawler) x3 impulse ("look at the top X cards of your deck and grab a creature", to look for brawlers) x3 artifact/enchantment removal x3 creature removal (don't need much because i have a big buff brawler) x13 immediate counters (card that makes a permanent and puts a +1/+1 counter on it to trigger the brawler instantly and reliably, ex. incubate, backup, "enters the battlefield with +1/+1 counter", etc.) x6 misc support (whatever other nonsense i want that doesn't fit in the other categories, like Kami of Whispered Hopes)

The x3 impulse was originally x4, but I realized I only had 3 decent impulse cards lol. Who wants to spend 2 mana on nothing? I wrote the plan in order from top to bottom, so while I knew from the beginning that I needed a lot of immediate counters, I didn't know how many I'd actually put in. After making room for everything else, I had 19 slots left, so I settled on the 13 and 6.

Here's the final decklist:

Deck 4 Botanical Brawler (MOM) 220 10 Forest (IKO) 272 10 Plains (IKO) 261 1 Snakeskin Veil (KHM) 194 2 Recruitment Officer (BRO) 23 3 Tyvar's Stand (ONE) 190 1 Adventurous Impulse (STA) 49 2 Sunder the Gateway (MOM) 39 3 Touch the Spirit Realm (NEO) 40 1 Jaheira, Harper Emissary (HBG) 16 4 Norn's Inquisitor (MOM) 29 3 Kami of Whispered Hopes (MOM) 196 2 Go-Shintai of Boundless Vigor (NEO) 187 1 Fortified Village (SIR) 267 2 A-Dueling Coach (STX) 15 2 Fairgrounds Trumpeter (MOM) 335 2 Biogenic Upgrade (RNA) 123 3 Botanical Plaza (SNC) 247 2 Towashi Guide-Bot (NEO) 262 2 Enduring Bondwarden (MOM) 14

Okay it looks like arena decided to put them in order of when they were added to the deck, so I guess you also get to see that.

[jeannedarkterraguard]

So after reading through my last post again now that i'm not sleep deprived (and also now that we watched more of them) i feel like i should address a few of the things i said even though it probably doesn’t matter to anyone but me

first the thing about there being no tall girls in hololive:

I really wasn't talking about the actual average height (which google tells me is about 160 cm for women so i guess from that perspective Nerissa is quite tall) i meant from my perspective.

For reference: i am 187 cm tall... sooo... yeah...

and i know what's going to happen because it always happens when i tell people on the internet this

"Oh LiSa Is SuCh A lUcKy WoMaN!" well... i like to think she is but not because of that, because she's actually taller than me at 191 cm... in fact i am not even that tall compared to friends and family:

my mom: 197 cm

my sister: 186 cm

Lisa's parents: both 190 cm

my best friend: 193 cm

my uncle: 180 cm

my cousin: 178 cm

my sisters husband: 205 cm!!! (he regularly hits his head when walking through doors. It's kinda funny)

really the only outlier was my dad at 168 cm... Yeah, HE was a lucky man

so when i hear someone being 175 cm tall it just doesn't seem tall to me

next the EU-Time thing

and i know every time this is mentioned someone will inevitably go "oh but you have Vesper and Kiara and the ID girls and you can just watch VODs" and this wasn’t actually meant to be a complaint but well...

yeah of course we can (and do) just watch VODs but sometimes you just want to watch live (and we do watch several non-hololive vtubers live if we can but hololive just seems to hate Europeans sometimes)

With the ID girls and Vesper a big problem is that they might stream during the day in Europe but just "during the day" doesn't translate to "at a good time to watch live" you see they usually stream during the early morning... when people are either at work or still in bed...

also Vesper is still MIA

and Kiara... well to me at least she struggles from a combination of three problems

her time slot: her streams usually start at 3 pm in our timezone (which is the same timezone as almost all of Europe with the exception of the UK and Portugal) so even if we assume just a regular 9-5 job and an average of 30 minutes to get home you're already missing the first 2,5 hours of her stream which wouldn't be much of a problem if it wasn't for point number 2

her choice in games: Kiara tends to stream long story driven games like Fire Emblem, Zelda or Yakuza. This means that missing 2,5 hours of a stream could mean missing significant portions of story and feeling completely lost for the rest of the stream which brings me to point number 3

her long streams: While i personally really like long streams they do make it hard to catch up. Let me give you an example...

Kiara starts streaming Zelda while I'm at work. I come home 2 hours later and can't watch the rest of the stream live because i have no idea what's happening in the story so i decide to watch the VOD the next day but she streamed for 8+ hours so watching it takes me 2-3 days...

now if she decided to stream Zelda again during those days i can't watch that stream either even if i am at home when it starts... and so the backlog just grows and grows...

Funnily enough the best schedule for European timezones is faunas...

you see fauna usually starts her streams at 10pm for us and streams for about 3-4 hours max so you can easily put one of her streams on, watch it and then go to bed once it ends... at around 2 am which probably isn't the best time to go to bed when you have to wake up at 6 am but let's not get into that...

anyway i hope i managed to clear up what i was trying to say in the last post... bye

[megalony]

I'm Taking You Home

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, requested by the lovely @senjoritanana I hope you like it and I'm surprised how quickly I managed to finish this for you. Feedback is always amazing.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie

911 Masterlist

Summary: While out on a call, someone tries to shoot at the 118 and the accident bursts (Y/n)'s eardrum. Evan makes sure to do all he can to look after her.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I'm ready for bed." (Y/n) braced her hands on her hips and tilted her head back as she clicked her spine into place. Her knee jutted forward and she took deep breaths as she waited on the pavement for Evan to catch her up.

"It's only lunchtime,"

She tilted her head to the right and raised a brow at Eddie when he playfully bumped his shoulder into hers. He looked down at his watch before he looked back over at her. It had just gone twelve, they were on time for once to go back to the station and get lunch before another call dragged them back out.

"Excuse me, we've been on a two-day bender at the station. We haven't been to bed yet."

Eddie held his hands up in defeat when Evan walked over towards them and slung an arm around (Y/n)'s shoulders, reeling her into his side.

Evan, (Y/n) and Bobby had all been on shift for near enough forty-eight hours now and they'd had four hours sleep, if that. The station was short handed and with Hen, Chimney and Eddie all needing to have a break between shifts due to childcare, (Y/n) and Evan stepped up. They were alright with doing long shifts, especially when they were paired up together.

They didn't mind whereas it wasn't fair for Eddie or Hen or Chimney to do longer than a twenty four hour shift when they had families to go home to. Unless it was an emergency situation, of course.

(Y/n) leaned her head back onto Evan's shoulder and grinned up at him when he swiped her helmet from her head so he could see her properly.

She hated how much she loved it when Evan reeled her into his side like this. (Yn) hated just how much she loved to slot under his arm and how she fit perfectly into his side like two puzzle pieces slotting together. She hated the way he looked down at her and winked because it made butterflies swarm free in her stomach and fueled her with unnecessary adrenaline.

"Alright team, let's pack up."

They all made their way across the road and headed over to the truck to start packing up ready to leave.

(Y/n) refrained from sighing when she had to loosen up and slide out of Evan's hold. She let him keep her helmet that he moved to pack into the truck along with his helmet and jacket. A smile danced across her lips as she held her hand out and took the medic bag from Eddie so she could put it back in the compartment along with hers.

She was ready for home.

Once they were back at the station, (Y/n) and Evan would have three more hours to have dinner and maybe join in on one more call out before they could have the rest of the week at home.

Sometimes it felt better to keep working through the week because when she and Evan had the same time off together, (Y/n) didn't know how to act around her roommate. Not when the way she felt for him was moving away from platonic and into something more deadly. At least when they were on shift there was no risk of any feelings getting in the way, they were too busy for that.

(Y/n) brushed her hands over her knees, ridding them of dust and grime before she turned and moved towards the other side of the truck. She grabbed the hose and started to wind it up and clipped it back in place before she shut the compartment and did a quick check. Everything was packed away, they could get going now.

She could hear Hen shouting for her to get in and a smile pulled at her lips as she grabbed the handle and pulled herself up the steps to climb up.

Evan whispered a quiet 'come on' as he patted the vacant seat next to him that was waiting for her. But the radiant, cheesy grin on his features faded the moment an awful bang rung out through the air.

A scream burst past (Y/n)'s lips and her hands coiled up to her head as she dropped to her knees on instinct.

Gunshots.

Someone was shooting at them.

They weren't on a call out for an assailant with a gun. They had sorted out a gas leak in a cafe, they weren't here for any injuries or shootings and no one had been trying to hold a hostage situation nearby. They didn't even have the ambulance with them today because the call out wasn't that serious.

Evan jerked back in his seat, hunching his shoulders and moving his hands mid-air despite not knowing what he was trying to do. He could feel his heart ramming away at his ribcage and his pulse throbbed in his neck but he couldn't catch a proper breath. He could feel Chimney rushing to unclip his belt beside him and it made Evan realise he hadn't done up his own belt yet.

With that thought in mind, Evan jumped forward and slammed down onto his knees in the footwell of the truck. His arms reached out and grabbed (Y/n), reeling her back until she stumbled into him. He could see from the way she dropped down that she hadn't been hurt and when he swept his eyes across her, he couldn't see any blood or wounds and she wasn't screaming out in pain.

"Get down! Get on the floor!" Evan jerked his right arm out and pulled on Eddie's sleeve before he moved to do the same to Hen, trying to drag them both down.

Someone was shooting at them, they needed to cower down in the footwell below the windows so they weren't easy targets. Sitting in their seats made them easy to spot and aim at. (Y/n) had been stood up when the shots started, they might have been aiming for her.

Chimney and Hen went down on their knees and leaned forward with their heads hunkered down low and their hands braced on the seats in front of them.

Eddie snapped his belt off so fast it slammed into the window while he slid off his seat and crouched down. There wasn't enough room for all five of them in the footwell but they rammed together like sardines to try and stay low. Leaning to the left, Eddie braced one arm over his head for cover before he leaned towards the door and grabbed it. He swung it until it snapped shut, caging them all inside safely out the way and hunkered down.

"Bobby-"

"Everybody hold tight!"

Bobby turned the lights on but not the sirens and leaned forward until his head was level with the steering wheel for extra coverage and protection. He didn't think twice before slamming his foot down on the gas to get them moving. Whoever was shooting was aiming for them and they needed to move.

"This is Captain Nash, shots fired! Repeat, shots are being fired we need police assistance. Is anyone hurt?" He did his best to look over his shoulder into the back but when he couldn't see any of them, he looked back at the road and swerved onto a side road to get them out the way.

There was nothing they could do. They couldn't stay and try to see if anyone was injured or hurt or stop the gunman when they seemed to be the targets.

Everyone took a quick glance down at themselves before they looked over at one another. No one seemed to have been hit and one of the windows had smashed but the glass hadn't cut any of them. They had escaped that one safe enough, but it had been close.

For a few more seconds, Evan didn't dare lift his head. He stayed down on his knees with (Y/n) curled over his thighs and his arms bound tight around her middle. He had his lips pressed against the back of her head although he didn't know why or even when he had suddenly done that. And no one else tried to move either. He could feel Chimney slouching against him, Hen had her hand on his shoulder for comfort and to steady herself. And Eddie was squashed in the corner with both his hands braced on the chair in front of him.

When Bobby turned another sharp corner, it felt safe enough for them all to push up and straighten up. But no one attempted to sit on a chair. They all remained on the floor.

"Is anyone hurt? Do I have to make a trip down to the hospital?" Bobby needed an answer. The turning for the hospital was coming up and he could either take that turn, or carry on straight and head back to the station.

Evan slowly reeled up and shuffled around until he was sat down on his bum and not his knees. He leaned his back up against the seat behind him and pulled his knees up which shifted (Y/n) so she was pinned between his knees and his chest.

"(Y/n)? Look at me, are you okay?" He kept one arm around her waist and moved his other hand to cup her jaw so he could turn her head. He tilted her head up so she was facing him.

His baby blue eyes did three turns looking her up and down but he couldn't see any injuries on her. All he could see were her hands still covering her ears and tears drenching her face. And Evan could feel her panicked breaths pushing into his chest, she was breathing like there wasn't enough air in the room and she was trying to stockpile what little oxygen she could.

Shivers bolted up and down (Y/n)'s spine when Evan started to rub his thumb across her chin and up towards her lip. And when he pulled her bottom lip down and leaned closer, she realised she wasn't talking. She wasn't saying anything and that was panicking him.

She couldn't hear him properly when he repeated the same question again, but she forced herself to nod her head. She wasn't hurt. She wasn't shot or hit with anything and she hadn't gotten any glass imbedded in her skin.

But her head was splitting.

Her right ear felt like it had been blown off. It was throbbing and pulsing and her head was starting to pound and sway back and forth like she was being used as a drum. The shot must have been close.

"We're good, Cap."

(Y/n) kept both her hands deadlocked over her ears and leaned forward to smother her face into Evan's shirt. Her breath hitched in her throat when Evan moved his hand down to cup the back of her thigh and she dared not ask what he was doing. She went limp despite her sudden panic and let Evan lift her over so she could sit down between his parted thighs.

He moved his hand to cup the back of her head and his other arm curved around her waist. He rested his chin on top of her head and held his breath for as long as he could so he wasn't panting and gasping anymore.

His eyes flitted over to look at Eddie when he rested his hand on Evan's ankle and patted his leg with a soft expression.

"He nearly shot her."

Evan's voice was so quiet that everyone almost misheard what he'd said. All eyes fell onto him except for (Y/n). And they looked at his hardened expression before their heads turned to see what he was looking at. The window opposite the door was the one that had shattered.

Whoever shot at them had aimed for (Y/n). An inch lower, an inch to the left, if she moved a second slower, there would be a bullet in her head and nothing they could do to save her.

None of them wanted to move when the truck pulled up in the station.

All of them seemed to exchange looks before Eddie sighed and took the plunge. He used the seat behind him as leverage and pushed up to his feet so he could open the door and hop down. He cracked his neck into place and stretched his arms in front of him while he waited for everyone else to follow him out.

Hen patted Evan's shoulder as she climbed over him to get out, followed by Chimney. Hen folded her arms over her chest and rubbed her hands up and down her sleeves to try and calm herself down. Any one of them could have gotten a gunshot wound today.

"We're back," Evan mumbled the words into (Y/n)'s hair before he moved his hands to cup her wrists so he could pull her hands away from her ears.

He hated to see tears streaked down her face and the way she was still struggling to take in a proper breath. Before he could stop himself, Evan leaned forward and kissed her temple.

His hands moved to hold her hips and he tried to smile when (Y/n) gripped his shoulders to try and stand up. He could feel how badly she was shaking once she was stood up and he moved to stand behind her with his hands still on her hips to try and comfort her. They climbed down and moved to stand next to everyone else.

Bobby looked furious.

His hands were on his hips, his foot was tapping against the floor and he moved one hand to drag across his chin before he scratched his nails into the back of his head.

"The police will be down here soon to take statements, and I'll need you all to complete some paperwork for the Chief, but that can wait until tomorrow. Does anyone need to see a counsellor or have a session before you carry on with your shifts?"

The police would no doubt be here within the hour to take statements and talk them all through what happens next. And Bobby would need to fill out an incident report and have everyone make their statements for the paperwork. He could let that wait until tomorrow, until the shock had worn off and everyone felt better.

But they all knew that they had a right to see a councillor or therapist and if they wanted to, they could have an appointment to be cleared to come back to work. Bobby wouldn't want anyone to carry on working if they felt too shaky or unsettled and thought they should talk it through with someone first. Their health and wellbeing came first and they had almost taken a bullet today, it would be understandable if anyone wanted to go home.

Evan clasped his hands together behind his back and kept his eyes on his shoes. He didn't need to talk this through. He needed to sit down before he exploded.

Someone had almost killed his best friend. Someone had taken aim at (Y/n) and they could have seriously injured or killed her. Where would Evan be if the worst had happened? What would he do without her? How would he cope in a world without (Y/n)?

She was the only constant thing in his life. He saw her every morning without fail, she was the first person he saw when he got up and the last person he saw before he closed his eyes at night. Evan didn't want that to change, not for anything in the world and he didn't want any harm to come to her. She was his roommate, his best friend and she meant more to Evan than anyone else ever had.

He couldn't live without her.

"Are you all sure you're okay?"

A chorus of 'yes' and nodding heads filled the air and Bobby waved his hand at them. They all knew what to do. Go get changed, get themselves a drink and try to calm down while he sorted dinner before the station became flooded with police.

(Y/n) closed her eyes for a few seconds when everyone started to disappear and float around the station.

She didn't now what to do. She wanted to be sick. She wanted to collapse and pass out. Her head was spinning so violently she thought it was going to disconnect from her neck.

"I'm gonna hit the gym."

(Y/n) let her eyes drag over to Evan, wincing at how horrible his voice sounded in her right ear. It sounded like she was submerged underwater, trying to hear things above the surface. It was as if Evan was gurgling water in the back of his throat as he talked and the sounded made (Y/n) cringe. She could feel her head swimming and her ear was pounding and pulsing and throbbing all at once.

She knew what he meant by that. He meant he was going to go into the gym and break the equipment. He had ripped the last punching bag they had at the station after a bad fallout with his parents.

Eddie nodded in agreement and they both turned to start making their way towards the gym. But when Evan looked over his shoulder at (Y/n), it was as if they were having a silent conversation. (Y/n) could feel herself begging him not to leave her alone and his eyes told her he wasn't allowing her out of his sight for more than a few seconds.

That was enough for (Y/n) to follow along behind them. She didn't know what else to do with herself. She could follow the boys and watch them in the gym. It would be better than sitting in the bunker room or upstairs on her own, twiddling her thumbs and she knew if she was alone she was at risk of bursting into tears.

Her hand braced out on the truck and she dragged her fingertips along the red paint, using the truck as leverage to keep herself upright as she began to walk.

She felt dizzy.

When they got into the gym, (Y/n) heaved herself over to a bench and slumped down like all her bones had turned to jelly. She flopped forward and let her arms slump on her legs and hung her head down to see if it would relieve her headache and make her ear stop thudding and ringing like a church bell.

"Are you alright?" Evan's hand found her shoulder with a surprisingly strong grip and he gave her a squeeze to make her look up at him. She was surprised to see he had shed his shirt quickly to leave him in his grey vest and trousers.

"Just shaky,"

(Y/n) let her eyes dance over Evan's frame for a while as he began to abuse the punch bag in the corner. She couldn't hear whatever he and Eddie were talking about. Her right ear was starting to turn numb and the ringing was drowning out everything else. She could only hear through her left ear and it was a horrible feeling to feel as if she were broken and useless on one side.

She wasn't sure how long they stayed in the gym, it could have been a few minutes, it could have been half an hour. All she knew was that after a few minutes, she flopped to lay out on the bench.

Eddie and Evan kept glancing her way every now and then but she still had her eyes open and she tried to smile at them to show she wasn't suddenly going to faint or go unconscious.

"You three, come and get something to eat." Bobby's voice was quiet when he poked his head round the door and waved them over.

(Y/n) realised they must have been in there a while because Evan was drenched in sweat and Bobby had found enough time to make lunch.

Her lips curved into a small, tepid smile when Evan stood in front of her hand held his shaky, sweating palms out towards her. His chest was heaving, his hair was flopping about on his head and sweat trickled down his neck and through to his vest, but he didn't care.

She let her hands slide into his and Evan slowly pulled her up to her feet, but (Y/n)'s smile faded when her head started to swim. Her knees trembled and her head flopped forward. She felt dizzy and sick and feverish all at once. But she tried to push those feelings aside when the three of them headed out the gym and trudged towards the stairs.

None of them had much energy and they all walked at their slowest pace, feeling their motivation slipping away with each passing second. They didn't do this job to get shot at. They were firefighters, they were trying to do some good in the world and help people and look out for everyone. Why did they deserve to be shot at? What had they done to upset someone so much?

The three of them walked in a single file line when they got to the stairs and (Y/n) grabbed the rails with both hands, pushing her weight onto her arms to drag herself up.

But the dizziness was starting to get worse and she could feel her breakfast crawling back up her throat.

Halfway up the stairs was too much for (Y/n). Her head started to loll forwards and a wave of tremors rattled through her limbs while her head pounded. Her eardrum thudded, tears splashed down her face and her head started to split apart like a coconut.

"(Y/n)- hey, what's up, what're you doing?" Panic bubbled up through Evan when he watched (Y/n) suddenly lower herself down onto her knees like she was about to pray here on the stairs.

He moved to crouch down behind her, reaching out to grip her waist while he felt Eddie lean over his shoulder to see why they had all stopped.

When (Y/n) folded her arms on the step in front of her and tried to slump her head onto her arms, Evan gently reeled her back. He muttered a quiet 'come here' as he tilted (Y/n) back into his chest. He hated the way she started to tremble in his arms and the way she hid her face into her hands like she was trying to smother herself. It did nothing to stop him from hearing her begin to cry and it made his heart shatter.

But his brows furrowed and he gently pulled her hands away from her face so he could cup her chin. He tilted her head to the left so she was looking away from him and a growl built up in his chest when he noticed a small trickle of blood slithering down from her ear onto her jaw.

"Okay, up we go. I got you."

Evan held (Y/n)'s wrist and looped her arm around the back of his neck before he cupped his left arm around her waist and slid his right arm beneath her knees. He slowly stood up and waited until (Y/n) smothered her face in his chest before he began walking up the stairs again.

His jaw locked tightly and he tried his best to look ahead and ignore the worried looks he got from the rest of the team who were quietly sat around the dining table.

He moved over to the right and headed over to the sofa, crouching down so he could ease (Y/n) down onto the sofa before he sat down beside her.

(Y/n) curled her arms into her chest and slouched back into Evan when his arm draped around her shoulders. He pressed his lips into her hair and started to glide his other hand up and down her arm until Eddie came back over to them with one of their medical kits in hand.

When Eddie perched down in front of (Y/n), Evan slid his hand up from her shoulder to cup her jaw. (Y/n) opened her eyes wide and tried to control her breathing as she wondered what Evan was trying to do. But he gently used her chin to turn her head until her cheek was pressed into her chest so Eddie could see the blood trickling out of her right ear.

"Can I take a look?"

(Y/n) didn't say anything but the soft look in her eyes told Eddie he could go ahead.

He used a cotton swab to clean away the blood before he shone a light in her ear. His fingertips pressed behind her ear, down her neck and across her jaw to see when she would wince or flinch away from his touch. He then pressed a thermometer under her tongue and flashed the light across her eyes.

"I think the shot burst your eardrum… you were the closest to it. You need to get some antibiotics and go home, it's gonna take a while to heal."

Eddie winced when (Y/n) began to cry and he turned to look over his shoulder and wave Bobby across to them.

There was nothing a doctor could do for (Y/n) except make sure she didn't get it infected. It would heal up on its own within two months, hopefully. (Y/n) would need to rest, take antibiotics and make sure not to get her ear wet at all for a few weeks.

She turned her head further to the side and cried into Evan's chest, shaking harder when she felt his hand slide up from her jaw to tangle in her hair at the back of her head.

"It's okay… shh, it's alright. I'm taking you home."

***

A sigh bubbled past Evan's lips when he shut the front door behind him. He let his shoulders slump down and tilted his head back, closing his eyes when he heard that unmistakeable sound.

(Y/n) was throwing up. Again.

He tossed his keys on the side and headed through into the kitchen, dumping his bag down on the counter before he backtracked and headed over towards the bathroom.

He had never been more pleased that the bathroom in their apartment was downstairs. It meant while (Y/n) was laid up on the couch for the last few days, she didn't have to struggle getting up and down the stairs to rush to the bathroom when she felt sick. But he wished she wasn't throwing up so much. Evan wished she could start to feel better.

For the last four days, he had seen (Y/n) eat two meals a day and proceed to throw all of it back up again. He thought it was too good to be true that she had eaten tea last night and lunch today without being sick.

He tapped his knuckles on the door before he nudged it open and stood in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest. He leaned his back up against the door and let his head flop to the right as he looked down at (Y/n).

She was knelt on the floor, hunched over the toilet with her forehead slumped down on her arms.

"I take it you don't feel any better?" He mumbled quietly and raised his brows when (Y/n) turned away from the toilet. She could barely keep her eyes open and a subtle tremble had set in all over her body.

(Y/n) turned on her knees and shuffled over until she could use the sink as leverage to pull herself up. But the moment she was stood up, her legs started to shake and her head rattled like someone was using her head as a bowling ball. Her knees quaked and pressed up against the sink and her hands gripped the edge as she let herself slide down just a little until her head was slumped forward into the bowl.

She tried to rinse her mouth with mouthwash but the sensation made her ear feel like it was popping and drowning in water. She spat it out and cringed, bowing her head even further to stop herself from crying. She had cried enough over the last four days but she couldn't seem to stop.

Her head was pounding unless she was asleep and as much as she tried, (Y/n) couldn't sleep the days away as well as the nights. She hated listening to music or the tv when one ear was working and the other was turned down and noises came through hazy and bubbling. She had to have the tv on volume seven because any louder made her cry.

The shot had unbalanced the fluids in her ears and that was making it hard for (Y/n) to keep her balance and stay upright. She felt like she was always swaying and sliding to one side when she stood upright and every time she tried to move around, she ended up being sick.

"Alright, come here."

Evan cupped his hands over her hips and stood behind her but when he turned her around to face him, he watched her lips fall into a frown and she wouldn't meet his gaze. Her forehead tipped down into his chest and her hands gripped his arms even though she didn't want to.

"You can't carry me everywhere, Evan." (Y/n) didn't want to rely on Evan like this. She didn't want him to have to help her up and down the stairs and make dinner for her when they usually shared the cooking. She didn't like relying on him like this, it wasn't fair.

"Yes I can. You're not well, that means I gotta look after you. So let me."

(Y/n) let herself go limp so Evan could move her easily. He cupped her wrists and lifted her arms to curl them around his neck. Then his hand moved down to hold her chin and he bent his knees to lower himself down so he could rest (Y/n)'s head on his shoulder.

His hands cupped the back of her exposed thighs and he lifted her up with ease, securing her legs around his torso so she was sitting on his hips. He kept one arm around her bum, she was light and easy enough to carry with one arm so he didn't know why she objected so much to him carrying her around. It wasn't like she was forcing him to help her; he wanted to. He was desperate to help her.

(Y/n) closed her eyes and nuzzled her face into Evan's neck, smiling when she felt Evan's lips against the top of her head. Something he had been doing a lot over the last few days.

He headed into the kitchen, grabbed the bag he had come back with and then turned around to go down into the living room.

When he reached the sofa, Evan dug his hand into (Y/n)'s thigh and leaned forward so he could ease her down. He found himself smiling when he watched her curl her knees up to her stomach and saw how she burrowed into the pillows she had collected down here to be more comfortable.

"What's in the bag?" (Y/n) let her head sink into one of the pillows and she bound her arms around her chest, turning to face Evan when he sat down next to her. But he didn't sink back into the seat like he normally would, he sat on the edge of the sofa with his knees bent out to the sides and his elbows on his thighs.

"I got Eddie to grab me a few bits from the station."

(Y/n) narrowed her eyes, about to smile at him until she watched what he started to get out the bag and place down on the coffee table.

"Evan no-"

Her lips pressed together firmly and she leaned back in her seat when he turned to face her. The way he tilted his head to the side and rose a brow made her shiver, but it was his jaw that locked and ground from side to side that made the adrenaline ignite in (Y/n)'s stomach. And when he moved his hand to point a finger at her, she almost gasped.

"Now you listen to me, you're dehydrated and you're still being sick. So you either suck it up and let me help you, or I will carry you to the car and take you down to the emergency room. So which is it sweetheart?"

The pet name rolled off his tongue before he could stop himself or even realise what he had said and it made (Y/n) turn to jelly despite the pain rolling through her head. She loosened her arms from her chest and flopped her arm onto his thigh as a sign of giving in to him.

"Good girl."

Evan picked up one of the two saline bags Eddie had packed for him. He knew (Y/n) would be sick again today, he just had a gut feeling that she wouldn't be able to keep anything down and she hadn't been drinking enough either. So he rang Eddie this morning and asked him to grab a few IV bags from inventory, some stronger pain meds and some supplement sachets.

He knew (Y/n) wouldn't want to go to hospital, it would take a few hours for them to get through the emergency room onto a ward to get any help in the first place. But if he could keep (Y/n) at home with him and help her himself, the Evan would do everything he could for her.

(Y/n) dared to shuffle a bit closer so she could tilt her head forward and press her nose into his arm which made him smile.

He ripped open an antiseptic wipe and dabbed it across the back of (Y/n)'s hand that was stretched out on his thigh. He could feel (Y/n) pressing her face further into his bicep while she closed her eyes. She didn't do well with needles.

"Here we go," He whispered quietly, daring to let his eyes dart over to her for a second before he moved his attention back to her hand.

He slid the needle into the first vein he found and moved to grab the IV cap that he clipped onto the end while (Y/n) groaned and pinched her nails into his thigh. Not that Evan minded at all. Once a bit of tape was stuck over it, he grabbed a roll of bandage and started to wind it around her hand. He knew exactly what she was like. She would scratch and pull and mess with the tube until the needle came out.

Once it was in place, Evan checked the wire was straight and running free before he flipped the cap to let the fluids flush wide open. He wanted the saline in her system as fast as possible because she was dehydrated and she needed a boost.

"Eddie found some painkillers, they should take away your headaches."

"I don't think I can keep them down."

"Ah, no this is the good stuff." Evan flashed the small bottle when (Y/n) turned her head so her cheek was pressed against his shoulder. He told Eddie not to bring tablets because (Y/n) would throw them up.

Evan grabbed a new needle, filled it with the right dosage and injected it into the spare cap on the IV tube. This would go straight into (Y/n)'s system so she wouldn't throw it up and it would help her feel better. He didn't want to see her crying in pain any longer, he just wanted to make her feel better.

"Thank you." (Y/n) left her bandaged hand on Evan's lap but she moved her right hand to curl around his arm she was leaning against. Her lips pressed to his shoulder and she smiled against his skin until she looked up and realised he looked perplexed.

"You don't need to thank me."

"Evan, you've been looking after me-"

"I look after you because I want to, but I wouldn't need to if some fucker didn't try and take a shot at you. He nearly killed you and I can't… I can't lose you."

Evan slumped back against the sofa and reached his free hand to tangle through his hair. He let his body slouch down and tipped his head back on the cushion to stare up at the ceiling. He wouldn't be taking care of (Y/n) like this if he didn't want to, he would do anything for her. But he would rather be taking care of her when she was sick from a cold or an illness. Not because someone thought they had the right to try and shoot them.

If things had been different, a few seconds later, if (Y/n) didn't move at the right time or if she was a little slower. If that gun had been aimed more to the left, she would be in a coffin right now and Evan would be inconsolable.

"You won't lose me, Evan. I'm not going anywhere, I'm right here," (Y/n) dared to move her hand up from his arm to brush her thumb across his chin. She tilted his head so he was looking at her, so he could see her smile and know that she was here. She wasn't going anywhere. She had a lucky escape five days ago but nothing like that would happen again.

Her fingers tickled the side of his jaw, feathering up and down until he was shuddering beneath her gentle touch. The more her fingers grazed his skin, the less resolve Evan had until he finally broke and pushed forward.

His hand cupped her jaw and skimmed across her neck before he leaned across and kissed her.

He'd dreamed about doing this.

She was his best friend. She was his roommate. She was his partner on the job. But Evan wanted her to be so much more. Evan wanted (Y/n) to be everything in the world to him, his friend, the one he lived with, the girl he kissed and came home to every night. Because she already held his heart in her hands and he never wanted it back.

He pulled her lower lip between his teeth and drank her in, panting against her lips until he was seeing stars and the ringing in (Y/n)'s ears drowned out into nothing but background noise.

He felt her hand move around from his jaw to loop around his neck while her other hand shifted up from his thigh to rest on his chest so she could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest.

Evan slipped his hands down until his fingers could slide beneath her legs and grip the back of her bare thighs were her pyjama shorts had ridden up her legs. He lifted her thighs up and dragged her across the small distance between them that felt like an ocean was keeping them apart. He pulled until her knees were clamped down on either side of his hips and she sank back on his thighs.

And when (Y/n) pulled back to try and gasp for air, Evan cupped her wrist and moved her hand up from his chest to loop it around the back of his neck. Along with the IV tube so he didn't squeeze it and stop the fluids from getting into her system.

His hand moved around to hold the back of her neck while his other hand shifted up from her thigh to grab her bum. He kept her leaning down on his chest and he smiled when he looked up and saw a dazed look in her hooded eyes.

(Y/n) scratched her nails against the short hairs at the back of his neck until Evan was clenching his jaw and he pulled her back down onto him.

(Y/n) could feel herself going lightheaded again, especially when Evan seemed to draw all the air out of her lungs and gulp it down for himself. His warm lips smothered hers and bit her lower lip until he was going to leave a bruise in his wake, but (Y/n) didn't care. She didn't want him to stop. She could feel him muttering something against her mouth but he spoke far too quietly for her to hear.

"Hm?"

"You're right. You're not going anywhere."

[cebugrandrealty]

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