#Skyspear

[tiamat-zx]

So I’ve been rewatching the Beauyasha supercut compiled by Astro Edits on YouTube, and… I’ve realized something.

When Yasha is recounting the day that she lost Zuala, she remembered it as her running away from the execution, and that she hadn’t seen it with her own eyes.

However, that’s not what really happened.

She did, in fact, witness it. She witnessed the Skyspear stabbing Zuala with her blade when the latter had tried to convince the former to allow their union. She had also slain the Skyspear in retribution.

To be fair, it’s not out of the question to declare that Yasha was an unreliable narrator when by her own admission she had been missing some time in her memory, and thus may not have fully recalled everything at the time due to her rage and sorrow rendering it all a blur.

I bring this up because, from what I understand, the fog had faded the moment that Obann had shackled her once more. She had suddenly remembered what she had done.

And nowhere was that made ever clearer than the moment that she had been forced to stab Beau in the Chantry of the Dawn.

As I stated before in a post a while back, the “imagery she had seen once before” was not that of Molly’s death, but that of Zuala. At that point, she had regained a significant portion of her memories, including what had occurred on that day. She had even expressed confusion during her epilogue when she saw Jadek in the armor of the Skyspear, and then Yasha quietly realized that the previous Skyspear had been felled by her own hand.

So when you think about it, this explains the supposed contradictions between what was mentioned in the campaign and what was depicted in her origin comic. Because there weren’t any contradictions at all.

Regardless, there is still one fact that remained constant: her belief that she was a coward for the longest time whether it was her long-held belief that she had run away from the execution, or the sad truth that she didn’t have the courage to confront the Skyspear herself, the latter of which had led directly to Zuala sealing her own fate.

It wasn’t until she had found the second love of her life that she began to realize that she wasn’t a coward, but a survivor. And it wasn’t until she had found Zuala’s grave that she finally made peace with her loss, and had been able to forgive herself.

To this day, Yasha Nydoorin still remains my favorite PC to come from the creative and talented mind of Ashley Johnson. And this is but one of many reasons as to why.

[autoacafiles]

[wardensantoineandevka]

This is a more focused and somewhat more serious of the version I ran yesterday that included Gustav Fletching, Lucien and Molly, and Fjord (for Kingsley reasons).

That poll was more for the comedy of the spread of possible options, but I got curious about if the results would change if I restricted the options to actually their father or strongly held to be a father figure by that character, particularly with how this no longer potentially splits a vote between Vandran and Fjord.

For the record, the qualifications here is that he actively fulfilled that function in their life, hence why Lucien and Molly are disqualified from this poll; apologies, but comparing them to parents doesn't quite qualify for this. This is also why Gustav doesn't qualify, since Molly does not seem to have considered him that way, but Baska gets by on a technicality.

Anyway, pick one.

[dent-de-leon]

A lot of things about Lucien’s backstory make me want to cry, but at least with his parents gone, he’ll never be hurt by them again as Molly/Kingsley…

I just…don’t even know how the Nein would react to finding out what his own parents did to him. How would Caleb feel, who went through something so similar—yet who had a mother and father that truly loved him? Family is everything to him. The look in his eyes if he found out how much Tealeaf was abused by them as just a child—

Everyone was so protective of Beau when they faced her father. Thinking about Beau finding out that Molly’s own parents sold him to a hag in another life, how he was just seen as a part of a devil’s bargain too.

Yasha, who is so full of love and so fiercely protective—meeting these people who broke Molly’s spirit in another life, who betrayed him just like the Skyspear did to her. Yasha making sure they never have the chance to hurt him again.

[nellasbookplanet]

I was going through some old posts of mine, and came across these tags I wrote ages ago:

And you know what, I think I want to dig into this, because revenge arcs are fascinating and I'm in the mood to ramble.

Yasha is, largely, a traditional revenge arc. It's made clear that the people who hurt her (mainly Skyspear and Obann) won’t stop causing harm, to her and others, and that no justice system will step in to either stop them or give her justice. Instead, she finds the support to make her own justice. Only after the perpetrators have been removed, when the overhanging threat is gone, can Yasha truly begin to heal.

I've talked before about how the act of revenge in itself was irrelevant to and, in the case of killing Skyspear, even detrimental to Yasha's healing. Going at it alone only left her broken and vulnerable. Part of the fantasy is the support network, someone to fall back on and help you stand back up after the deed is done. Revenge itself is but a brief moment of catharsis. Healing is long and grueling and largely separate from the act of vengeance, but without it, it isnt an empowering fantasy, it's corruption and self-destruction (think Percy making demon deals and considering himself irredeemable as he goes after the Briarwoods).

Beau, meanwhile, exists on the opposite end of the spectrum. Yasha can’t heal until after she’s made her revenge. Beau never pursues revenge or even justice. It seems unreachable to her to the point where she’s unsure she was even wronged, or if her dad is right and she’s the one at fault, broken and unfixable from the start. So instead she finds it in herself to heal anyway, because she wants that happiness she thought impossible, and now she has the support network to get it. The fantasy in her case is that she gets her justice anyway. The system actually steps up. She is told, to her face, that she was wronged, and that those responsible will face justice. It's the final step of her healing, an external validation previously withheld from her.

Yasha is the revenge fantasy where you have the support and power to make your own justice. Beau is the revenge fantasy where you don’t have to, and it comes to you anyway because the world recognizes you’ve been wronged.

[thevalleyisjolly]

Critical Role parties ranked by mothers’ names

They might be sung or unsung heroes of the land, but the real question is, how well do they all know each other?  For example, what are their mothers’ names? 

Introduction

Results reflect the number of named mothers in each party divided by the total number of known mothers in each party.  “Known mothers” refers to mothers of PCs who are confirmed to exist.  In order to be a “named” mother, their names/titles must be stated in an episode of Critical Role.  Supplementary books and comics are for now excluded, although to my knowledge, this does not change the results in any substantial way.

If a character does not have a mother or mother figure (e.g. FCG, Molly, Kingsley) or does not know/remember who their parents are (e.g. Fjord, Yasha), those parents are not counted as known mothers here because it was not possible for the characters -much less the party- to know who they were/are.  At the same time, if a character does know who their parents are but it is never established whether any of those parents is a mother (e.g. Pike, Grog), they are not counted as a known mother/mother figure in the party total.

Additional notes:

Mother figures who are not formally related to party members are considered as known mothers if the characters acknowledge some type of parental/familial relationship with them (which does not equate to a mothering or a positive relationship).  Currently, this is only relevant to two PCs, Yasha and Orym.  With Yasha, the Skyspear is counted as a parental figure, although she did not consider the quality of that relationship to be mothering or positive.  With Orym, it is unclear whether he considers Nel (Derrig’s wife) to be a mother figure, although we do know that they had a good relationship and it is likely she also occupied a parental role in his life as Derrig did.

FCG, Molly, and Kingsley are unique cases of characters who came into existence under very particular circumstances.  While FCG is certainly a sentient person, he has no memory of his early years and relationships in Aeor, and they don’t appear to view their relationship with Dancer as a parent-child one.  Molly and Kingsley, on the other hand, were pieces of Lucien’s soul who became their own persons and who emphatically did not identify with or as Lucien.  Therefore, while Lucien certainly had parents, they are not counted as either Molly or Kingsley’s parents.

If party members share a mother (really just Vex and Vax), that mother only counts as one known mother for the party total and is not double-counted.

Party rosters are as listed on Encyclopedia Exandria.  This does mean that Tiberius is included for Vox Machina.  One-shot characters (Derrig, Lieve’tel, Bertrand in the case of Vox Machina) are not counted as part of the official party roster, even if they are referred to as party members in the game.

A huge shout out to Encyclopedia Exandria in general, which was a really great resource in researching the familial relationships of each character and what has come up in-game!  And now, let’s get to the stats!

Vox Machina - 6/6 (100%)

Grog - unknown Keyleth - Vilya Percy - Johanna de Rolo Pike - unknown Scanlan - Juniper Taryon - Mariya Darrington Tiberius - Penelope Vex and Vax - Elaina

The ones who started it all!  Perhaps thanks to Scanlan’s speech, Vox Machina gets a perfect score, with six out of six known mother/mother figures being named in-game.  With Pike and Grog, while we know that both characters had at least one father, we do not know the gender of their other parents, and they are therefore not counted as known mothers here.

Bonus fact: If we exclude Tiberius, Vox Machina would still be batting at 100%.

Mighty Nein - 7/7 (100%)

Beau - Clara Lionett Caduceus - Constance Clay Caleb - Una Ermendrud Essek - Deirta Thelyss Fjord - unknown Jester - Marion Lavorre Kingsley - not applicable Molly - not applicable Veth - Ashlee Smyt’hh Yasha - The Skyspear

The Mighty Nein also get a perfect score for known mothers, with seven out of seven known mother/mother figures being identified in-game.  Since we do not know any of Fjord’s or Yasha’s birth parents, they are not included as known mothers in the overall count.  Similarly, neither Molly nor Kingsley have applicable parent relationships.

Bonus fact: If we exclude the Skyspear (and her inclusion is extremely tenuous), the Mighty Nein is still at 100% when it comes to known mothers.

Bells Hells - 2/5 (40%)

Ashton - unnamed mother Bertrand - unknown Chetney - unknown Dorian - unknown Fearne - Birdie Calloway Fresh Cut Grass - not applicable Imogen - Liliana Temult Laudna - unnamed mother Orym - unnamed mother; Nel?

Bells Hells is where it gets complicated!  Out of five known mother/mother figures, only two are named, giving Bells Hells a total of 40%.  As stated above, FCG has never defined his relationship with Dancer as one of parent-child, and we do not know who Bertrand, Chetney, and Dorian’s parents are/were.  We do know that Ashton, Laudna, and Orym are all stated or shown to have a mother, although we do not know their names.  On the other hand, the mothers whom we do know have certainly made an impression as big as that red moon in the sky!

Bonus fact: Since it is not clear whether Orym also considered Nel a mother figure, she is excluded from the official count.  If she were included, she would raise Bells Hells overall total to 3/6 (50%).

Conclusion

While both Vox Machina and the Mighty Nein have a perfect score, Mighty Nein arguably has the edge over Vox Machina in terms of just having more known mothers to name.  The Mighty Nein also have the meta advantage of coming after C1, with the cast meme-ing the hell out of “What’s my mother’s name?” and making it an actual in-game icebreaker question.

Very understandably, Bells Hells has had fewer episodes than either Vox Machina or Mighty Nein at this point, so we know a little less about them.  However, it is worth mentioning that we do know a fair deal about the relationships that Bells Hells have with their families, even if we don’t know the names of their parents, and that the impact of those relationships have been markedly felt by the PCs and their personal arcs.  Someone who never appears in the narrative but their presence is felt by what grows around them, y’know?

And now, it’s only right to close with an acknowledgement of the adventuring mothers from within these parties whom we most definitely do know and love: Vex, Pike, Veth, Beau and Yasha (if they did end up adopting), and of course, Fearne <3  

[blorbologist]

Regenerate Bashter Vampire AU?

31. Regenerate

"You touch a creature and stimulate its natural healing ability. The target regains 4d8 + 15 hit points. For the duration of the spell, the target regains 1 hit point at the start of each of its turns (10 hit points each minute).

The target's severed body members (fingers, legs, tails, and so on), if any, are restored after 2 minutes. If you have the severed part and hold it to the stump, the spell instantaneously causes the limb to knit to the stump."

TW: Body horror. Jazzhands @ the spell description, how could I not play with that.

There’s an old saying, shared in the Dolorav. It doesn’t translate well to Common, but it means something along the lines of ‘reaching for vengeance will tear you limb from limb’.

It hadn’t. Or, well, it hadn’t stopped Yasha from doing that to the Skyspear.

But she understands it a bit better, right now, because she was reaching for Skingorger and that freaky fish-fuck took off her arm for it and it’s way too early for things to hurt this bad.

She doesn’t howl, because the Skyspear hadn’t screamed when Yasha cut hers off at the elbow, and just. Grabs Skingorger with her other - only - hand, and keeps moving. Because the gills and fins mean Uk’otoa mean Fjord - 

“Yasha!” Jester screams, and Yasha can just grunt out a “Thank-you” when her giant lollypop throws another sushi cultist into the wall where Beau can jab her staff into its eyes. And through them. It doesn’t wail long at all. 

Jester’s pretty nightgown isn’t all too gored up, so. At least she’s okay. Beau’s showing way more skin, in her breastband and sweatpants, and - keep moving - how can Jester even sleep with her looking like that? But - nope, keep moving.

She doesn’t smell blood. Which should have been the first sign that they’re both alright, really.

With that one dealt with, Yasha keeps moving, up the stairs. Keep moving, step to each pulse of pain. Tries to, at least, because a blue hand yanks her back. 

For a second, an awful second, blue skin means scaly skin and Yasha’s head is throbbing with the agony and - and she’s very thankful she’s not lefthanded, and lifts Skingorger too slow. Because the red haze - or blood? - clears enough to see Jester.

“Yasha - oh, fuck, Yasha,” says Jester, and she’s glowing something beautiful that makes Yasha wince and shy away. It hurts, it really does hurt, and the back of her brain wants to make up for the blood (Beau’s blood, and she’s wasting it, oh no) guzzling from her arm. Or flee from the divine light, even if she knows the Traveler’s doesn’t hurt like a more normal god’s might.

“I’m fine,” Yasha growls. Feels awful, for how Jester steps back. For how her bone starts itching, because it’s got to go first. “They’re after Fjord - they’ll - I’ll be fine. Vampire things, you know?”

“But you’re - oh, ew, gross.” The tiefling makes a face, faintly forked tongue sticking out when she catches the gleam of bone creeping out of the mess of meat, muscle crawling behind. 

It hurts, it hurts like hell, which is - fuck - enough to keep Yasha raging, at least. 

(She’s very, very grateful she can’t smell their blood.)

“Okay,” Jester relents, taking Yasha’s hand and squeezing before barreling up the steps. Finally. 

Yasha can keep moving, stop feeling this itch - fuck, who is keeping her from going now?!

Beau glares at her. Or maybe she’s trying to see anything in the darkness. But it feels like a glare, and Yasha can feel her blood pulsing, angry, from here. “You can’t fucking fight like this,” she snaps. “Just - I’ll watch while you regenerate.”

“But Fjord -”

Yasha’s hit with that crooked smile and shuts up. “C’mon, the captain’s got this. And if he doesn’t - Jester does.”

There’s a very long beat before she adds: “Besides - any minute now Caleb’s going to rock this boat with a Fireball, and I’d rather stay out of the blast radius so he can do that.”

[Send me a spell and I'll write a ficlet/snippet to go with it!]

[talesandfluff]

With her second marriage, Yasha got to experience what she never got to have with Zuala, and it's a truly liberating feeling for her. It only makes her ever more thankful for the time they did have, fleeting as it was.

So true 😭 It's so unfair what the Skyspear to Zuala, but what a relief for Yasha she was able to forge herself a path towards eventual happiness despite that. The pain never fully goes away but it no longer holds her back.

[captainsspnanon]

C2E64 - A Dangerous Chase - rewatch reaction

I think I’m ready for some journey to Bazzoxan tonight!  Definitely won’t get it finished, but ready to jump in.

(also I just bought a crap ton of dice.  I already have 10 sets.  I only play dnd once a month.  I am a full goblin at this point.  This was honestly one of the reasons that I was scared of getting into dnd, because I KNEW I would go goblin.  I tried not to for like, a year, and now I’ve given in.)

….So.  I also watch an Australian pokemon go youtuber, ProPlanty. …..I just want to know how he would react to this ad bit from Sam.

THAT’S a shirt that’s never been restocked!  Wonder what it looks like up close.

*removes a whole bunch of math in regards to locate object with the realization that the problem is not distance in dnd being bs, the problem is me and my failure to conceptualize any level of ‘higher’ math now that I’ve been out of school for ages.  I used to take calculus!  Now I use a calculator for everything.*  Well, one legit piece of info I did get is that when they sensed Obann at the edge of the 1000 ft spell, it would have taken one of them only just over 1.5 minutes to dash to get there.   ….wait.  *does more research*   World record for a 300 meter dash (which is 984 feet) is 30.81 seconds (Wayde van Niekerk from South Africa on June 28, 2017).   ….I am reminded of many posts online talking about how you really shouldn’t try to relate dnd to real life.  I am learning that lesson for myself.  (Beau with her movement of 45, using dash and step of the wind, would run 1000 feet in 44 seconds, so that’s at least

No I’m not going to continue that thought.  I am backing out of that tangent that ended up being useless and getting back into the episode.  I’m still only in the Last Time On!

For what it’s worth, I fully recognize that Laura and Taliesin both being in the black and yellow outfits means that I’ve seen clips or gifs from this episode for SOMETHING, but I can’t think of what it could be!

Ah, the discussion about “Orphanmaker”.  I still have quibbles with the reasons for the name, because it just plain confuses me.  I suppose it’s indicative of the attitudes of the tribe, that they give each other tough sounding names despite not living up to it, but it always ends up muddling how I feel about the name.  I also suppose that this is the point of the name though, that it ISN’T some narratively clear cut “Yasha earned the name through her actions with Obann but since she can’t remember it she doesn’t know how she got the name and thus how she would relate to being called it”. Instead it’s “Yasha was given the name by her tribe, basically just considered it a nickname/title, then actually ended up earning it under Obann which she doesn’t remember, which now adds a layer on to how she may feel or relate to the name once she knows about her past again”, which isn’t bad don’t get me wrong!  But it doesn’t slot easily into a story beat, which I guess is why I struggle with it at times (which says more about me than anything). To be fair, a reason for it may have been Ashley choosing the name to 1) sound badass and 2) give Matt something to play with during her amnesia times.  Does Ashley ever actually clarify out of campaign? (I also wish we knew what Zuala’s tribe name was.  As it is, I think we only ever know Orphanmaker and Skyspear?)

I love how Matt will present Option Safe and Option Cool and the group ALWAYS goes for Option Cool.  Travis’s delight at going through the Barbed Fields, the “ground zero of the calamity” is so palpable.  It also makes me even more happy that Travis was in the Calamity one-shot, he deserves it!  LOOK HOW EXCITED HE IS.

(I also love how Matt will sometimes take a joke and play it super straight – Sam asking Maruo if she’s seen Stranger Things and Maruo responding that she’s only seen half of the first season [hey me too], such a well balanced joke that throws everyone off)

Pike spoke Undercommon?  I did not know that!  Then again, I thought Yasha DID speak Undercommon.  No, critrolestats has her with just Common and Celestial.

Aw man, they never do get to Charis.  To be fair, I’m not surprised that Caleb doesn’t know what it is on a 26, I’m assuming it’s just a regular place in Xhorhas.  *looks at the wiki* Okay, a sweet little place, but not devastating that they didn’t get there.  Not worth a one-shot either.

I do love when this group is just all on different pages but all focused towards the same objective.  I think this is the most obvious moment of it playing out, with Maruo even referencing the mixed messages several times.  I don’t think any other group was this Messy, but it works when it’s the Nein.

I love the moorbounders so much!!  I think they’re about to lose them though, yeah?  Don’t they leave them in Bazzoxan and never get them back?  SAD TIMES.

I’m really glad that Ashley rolled high for Yasha to be able to share information about the Barbed Fields.  Because of where she’s from, she’s not really a PC created for infodumping, especially because the areas of Xhorhas that they have gone to are outside of her travels.  But being able to give a good chunk of info about the Barbed Fields has to feel good.

Ah, maybe this is the moment why I recognize the outfits?  Beau needing a short rest but refusing to ask for one, so Caleb immediately telling the group how weak he is and how much he needs a rest.  These two are SUCH a great pairing.

I don’t know if I remembered the joke before it happened, or if I just got it before they did it, but after Jester and Caduceus indicating to use spells at the end of the day, I did the little les mis singalong too XD

Ah no.  This is the Canon episode.  So far we’ve got “don’t shoot the messenger”, “don’t beat a dead horse”, and golf. Edit from later – and ravioli!

Slight spoilers for campaign 3, but I miss the sense of travel and exploration we have from C2, which doesn’t make SENSE because there IS travel and exploration in C3!  But for whatever reason, it doesn’t resonate as much with me like journeying through the Barbed Fields and stuff, and I have no clue why.

WAIT THIS IS WHERE YASHA GETS THE SKINGORGER???  I 100% forgot and thought Obann gave it to her!!  Maybe he only gives her the breastplate.

Fun fact!  I have no clue if this is just me or not, but I haven’t felt like any of Yasha’s swords actually FIT her, you know?  The Magician’s Judge, Skingorger, the Holy Avenger, Scaldsaber, they all SOUND cool AF, and apparently cleaver-style swords are her thing, but I dunno.  Maybe it’s because the fact that she did use so many swords that it ended up feeling like there wasn’t one that fit her well.  Unlike Fjord, where he has the falchion which just absorbs different characteristics, and then gains …. gains…. Hold on…. wiki help me….the Star Razor.  And both of those swords feel so strongly like they FIT, and the changeover has strong significance and character impact.  Whereas Yasha is just a little more like a videogame, swapping out one weapon for another when it’s better suited for it.  I suppose not everyone needs an Iconic Weapon though. How many weapons did Grog end up using?  Wiki shows EIGHT different weapons! ��Plus just whatever normal axe he used at the beginning of the campaign which doesn’t even look like it’s on his wiki page so NINE?

For what it’s worth, cool combat!  Just not much to say.

Have I mentioned that I’m super mixed on the nickname Jessie for Jester?  Like, it’s a completely legit nickname that fully makes sense in context, and it’s cute that they all start having a nickname for her, so I do love that.  On the other hand, it’s just kind of a regular name?  Fjord, Yasha, Caduceus, Nott – all insanely unique names.  Beau/Beauregard?  Uncommon and rarely a female name.  Caleb is a normal enough name, but I feel like that 1) works with this concept, and 2) I mean, Bren Aldric Ermendrud is so not a normal typical name, and I feel like adding Widogast helps make it more unique.  And then “Jessie”.  *shrugs*  It’s a pretty stupid whine on my part, but it’s the bit of mixed feelings for the nickname.

Fjord giving Jester a kiss on the cheek, causing her ALL sorts of confusion!!  Honestly?  I’d love to know the out of game conversations that Laura and Travis had in regards to in game romance.  We know the bits said on Talks, but I’m assuming that those are exaggerated for humorous effect.  If I had to come up with and submit a question for the tower on 4SD, it would probably be ‘what is an example of some out of game conversations you have had with the other players or DM that you would feel comfortable sharing?’

Caleb uses Magic Missile more than I remember him doing so.  Then again, I think I underestimate this spell.  I remember being, not annoyed, but feeling like Matt wasn’t have Essek be super efficient during the Lucien fight when Essek just kept using Magic Missile. Probably just my own biases against the spell.  It IS automatic damage, no roll to hit or saving throw, so that is beneficial. Critrolestats says cast a total of 20 times, so it’s not like it was one of Caleb’s high use spells.  I think I think of it like Chromatic Orb – good for very early campaign and that’s all.  Can you tell I don’t play too much dnd yet?  (to be fair, also just played a druid, messing around a bit with a rogue now)

(looking at critrolestats, I’m sad that they didn’t track the spells that Essek did, but it makes sense because they don’t track NPC spells.  Essek is a PC in my heart, okay???)

I don’t know if this is the first time that Nott gets a nat 20 immediately followed by a nat 1 on the auto-firing, but I know it’s not the last!  I feel like this happens at LEAST three times.

Ooo, nice!  Obann name drop AND the Angel of Irons in the same questioning of the head!  Smart plays, good deception checks, and well picked questions.

I do wonder if this plot thread of the cult was always meant to be a sort of open closed plot revolving around Yasha, or if Matt has/had further ideas for Tharizdun.  It honestly could go either way.

I forgot that we got a canon reference to Marion’s agoraphobia before it actually came up for the party.  I like that!  I’d misremembered and thought that the party was the first time. Probably just the first time we clearly see it from her.

It’s very interesting seeing Caleb pushing so hard to stop Luc from being brought to the Chateau, because he’s so sure that Marion is now under suspicion.  Liam pushes it in many episodes, and while it’s discussed, it’s also discarded and Luc is still brought there.  In reality, it’s only in episode 128 that Marion is ever in danger, and it’s because of the break in at the sanatorium that the party do, nothing to do with the letter.

I love the games where they don’t want to stop playing and beg for more time.  This time it was an option!  But Laura needed to stop for health/baby reasons, and that takes priority.

[tiamat-zx]

Adding to my wish list of things I want to see in the Mighty Nein animated series:

Yasha being called "Yash" on a regular basis. It's happened far too few times in the campaign and I think it'd be nice if she had a proper canon nickname.

Kudos if it's Molly that first calls her that, and later on it's Beau that normalizes it, on top of her usual pet name of "babe".

Also, will we ever get the origin of how she got her surname? Was "Nydoorin" given to her either by the Skyspear or the circus, was it Zuala's that she received upon being wed, was it always her own, or did she simply make one up because everyone else she met had a surname?

On top of that, I just want more of Yasha than what we got in the early days since, you know, no more Blindspot holding her back.

[lyricalporcupine]

BYW Day1: Dance|Moon Story beneath the cut! Also, link to the ao3 posting as well!

~~~~~ To say the day had been taxing would be an understatement. First was the near clusterfuck with the Dolorav tribe. If Kord hadn’t intervened, that could have been a bloodbath, and Beau isn’t sure which side would have been the hardest hit. Next was Zuala’s final resting place. Beau had been nervous, expecting an ambush despite the Skyspear’s promise to let them pass unharmed so long as Yasha didn’t return. After that was Yasha’s tearful apology and goodbye to her wife. Yasha had introduced Beau to Zuala, and the gesture had caught Beau so off guard that she stuttered and stumbled over her greeting, flinching after thanking Zuala for her sacrifice that allowed Yasha to live and giving Beau one of the best things to ever happen to her. Beau hadn’t meant that she was glad Zuala died, but her tired mind kept replaying her words over and over again, and twisting them that Beau wasn’t even sure what she had originally said and what she had actually meant. Yasha hadn’t mentioned it, because of course not. And Beau didn’t bring it up herself. Because of course not. With a tearful goodbye, they had quietly walked away after Yasha had planted a few of the seeds over Zuala’s grave that Caduceus had given her. Yasha hadn’t said much since, but she would look at Beau with soft eyes and an even softer smile. Beau tried returning it, but her thoughts would go dark, and turn on her. Yasha loved her. Beau knew that. Yasha was a terrible liar, even with her occasional bouts of self-doubt and loathing, Beau knew that much to be true. But sometimes, and especially today, Beau felt like a placeholder. Yasha hadn’t, and would never, call Beau a consolation prize. But Beau’s abandonment issues had kicked up hard today. Yasha loved, loves, Zuala so fiercely, even after losing her, and Beau knows Yasha will never stop loving her wife. So how could Yasha love Beau so deeply, too? It’s not a competition. Even if it was, Beau wouldn’t try to compete, especially with a memory. She just didn’t know where she stood, and it sucked donkey balls that it was her own mind fucking with her; her own insecurities and trauma. “For the love of Kord, please blink,” came Yasha’s soft voice beside her. “You’re drying my eyes out.” Beau startled, making a high-pitched squeak as her arms windmilled to keep her from falling onto her ass. She felt Yasha’s hand grasp hold of her upper arm to help steady her, and when Beau regained her balance and settled back into her squat, she gave Yasha a sheepish smile. “Thanks, babe.” Yasha released her, reaching up to tuck a stray strand of hair behind Beau’s ear. “Is everything okay?” Yasha asked. “You’ve been quiet.” “Oh yeah, ‘M fine,” Beau replied. “Everything’s hunky-dory. A-okay.” She caught Yasha’s skeptical look. “Super.” Beau cleared her throat. “What about you? You’ve been quiet, too.” “But I’m always quiet,” Yasha said simply. Beau smiled, but it didn’t quiet reach her eyes. “Are you saying I never shut up?” “I like that you never shut up,” Yasha replied. When Beau’s smile softened into something more real, Yasha pushed a bit. “Really, what’s wrong?” Beau stared at Yasha for a long moment before she sighed and fell back, purposely falling onto her ass to sit. She crossed her legs and picked up a stick, poking and prodding at their small camp fire. It took her several minutes to gather her thoughts into something cohesive, and Yasha remained patient while she did. Finally, Beau said, “I’m not grateful that Zuala died.” She caught Yasha moving out the corner of her eye and turned toward her to see Yasha’s head tilted to the side, inquisitive, and her brows were knitted together. “Who said you were grateful?” Yasha asked. Beau swallowed, doing her best to keep from looking away from Yasha. “…I did. Earlier today. Remember?” Realization dawned and Yasha reached for Beau again, her warm and calloused palm cupping Beau’s cheek. Beau turned into her hand, and Yasha’s thumb traced back and forth along her skin just beneath her eye. “That isn’t how you meant it. I know that.” Then Yasha’s smile grew. “Zuala knows that, too.” Beau’s eyes burned, and her vision began to swim as she did her best not to cry. “She sounds great, ya know? How can I compete?” Beau’s voice cracked, and her eyes screwed shut.  “You can’t,” Yasha replied softly. Beau nodded and tried to turn away, but she felt Yasha’s other hand cup her face as well, keeping her turned towards her. Then she felt Yasha’s forehead rest against hers. “You’re a lot like her, ya know,” Yasha whispered. “Always wanting to do the right thing, no matter what. But there are a lot of people like that, and I didn’t fall in love with them. And it isn’t why I fell in love with you.” Yasha pulled away just enough to look at Beau, and ran the backs of fingers along Beau’s jaw. “You are not a replacement, Beau. No one could ever replace Zuala in my heart. Just like no one will ever be able to replace you. You helped show me and to understand that I can have love in my heart for two people, and that it’s okay to move on and enjoy it. I know Zuala would want that for me.” Beau hadn't realized she was crying until Yasha gently wiped her tears away. Then Yasha was kissing her, and she felt something slot into place inside her. Something right. Beau didn't realize Yasha had pulled away until she was being hauled to her feet. “Dance with me,” Yasha said with a playful smile. Beau laughed as Yasha twirled her around. “What?” Yasha’s smile grew as she wrapped Beau up in her arms and pulled her close. “Dance with me,” she said again. “Zuala and I never had a chance to dance, and I don’t ever want to miss out with you.” Beau’s heart felt too big for her chest as Yasha led them through a dance to music that only she could hear. But as Yasha held her close and kissed he, Beau could have sworn she could hear the music, too.

[runephoenix6769]

It’s been over two years and Campaign 2 has wrapped up and still some of you insist that the Skyspear had Zuala executed because...homophobia! Damn... Folks, never once was that said or even alluded to!  Yasha said herself that in her matriarchal tribe of warrior women. (think the start of ww2 but everyone is goth asf  wrestling in dull scrub land or whatever you imagine the Xorhasian plains/steppes to look like) your mate was chosen for you!  (Matt even describes them approaching Yasha and Beau like this)

You’re telling me that a gaggle of buff ladies like this, and Xena, that there wouldn’t be a few same sex couples?  Yasha and Zuala they were both avoiding an eventual arranged marriage with someone they didn’t love! That does not homophobia make! Or are you guys just locked into the homophobia angle cause its somehow more juicy/ angsty than an honest to Kord forced against your will arranged commitment ceremony?

Both are particularly nasty for obvious reasons, but don’t be shoehorning in your grimm dark fanon passing it off as canon when homophobia was never mentioned or implied! You can disapprove of two people being together without it being homophobic. As in you don’t disapprove of their sexuality but disapprove of say, your best warrior marrying a flowermaiden!  The execution was the punishment for breaking the Dolorov Tribe’s laws/customs, not because they liked to sip of the fluffy chalice!

[higgity-heck]

yasha’s comes from the dolorov tribe, right.

the -ov suffix means ‘son of’ or ‘belonging to,’ depending on how you translate it from various slavic languages.

dolor, also spelt dolour, means ‘a state of great sorrow or distress.’

She is literally from the tribe that ‘belongs to a state of great sorrow.’

[alekksandar]

Commission for Fenerox - Dragon species called “Sovenoc” (Skyspear)

[stardustedknuckles]

Yasha’s relationship to Zuala was distinct in many ways from her relationship to Beau and I don’t mean to conflate the two necessarily, but I quite enjoyed that Zuala was every bit the playful troublemaker I hoped she’d be, the complement to a zealous and rule-abiding Yasha. Because I think that’s what Yasha glimpsed underneath Beau’s stoicism for so long - in the rare moments she let her guard down, just enough to swipe at a moment of something like enjoyment, she was very much similar. Whether it was punching Fjord, heckling Caleb, or planning chaos, the Beau Yasha saw long before Beau knew how much she was giving away was so very much like Zuala. Zuala chafed under authority in a way that never occurred to Yasha. Zuala got the two of them in trouble and grinned “worth it” and Yasha realized it was. Zuala was quicker and knew Yasha would never scratch her and Zuala was kind above all else.

So yeah. The Yasha we met may have been broken, may have gone from someone who aspired to be a great leader to someone waiting to be told what to do, but her will to live wasn’t the only thing that couldn’t be snuffed. The things she learned to love about Zuala, the parts of her Yasha kept closest and missed the most, were so much of who Beau was when she forgot to be surly and distant.

A lot of those traits were there in Jester too, and even Nott, but there was something about Beau specifically that called to Yasha even as they both kept up their guards. I have to imagine that hearing about Tori settled one of those mysteries for Yasha and simultaneously hooked her that little bit further because it wasn’t until then that either of them knew enough about the other to make any real connection. At that moment, Yasha was so quick to validate Beau when she started trying to say that it wasn’t the same as losing a wife and so on - it wasn’t the same, but it was something that clicked. An indication that on some level, Beau really did get this very specific grief because it wasn’t that they lost someone, it’s that this person was forcibly ripped from them. By a parent, a leader at that. By fate, even. It wasn’t just the grief of being without Zuala or Tori, because that’s where the difference is of wife vs maybe-girlfriend. It wasn’t about that. It was the grief that they weren’t strong enough to keep something terrible from happening to someone they cared about. Skyspear killed Zuala and saw no reason Yasha shouldn’t continue on her path. Thoreau removed Tori from Beau’s life with the same expectation that things would carry on as they had.

Idk, I just really appreciate that the same traits that got Beau rejected by her family were the traits that got Zuala killed by hers. So much of Yasha wishes she could have stopped what happened to Zuala - she had even seen it coming, if only as an anxiety - but Zuala made her choice and didn’t need Yasha to agree or to save her. I liked that she understood why Yasha would not cross Skyspear, she knew what fate Yasha feared, and she did not get upset with her. She simply said “then I will do it” and no part of that required anything of Yasha. She died knowing full well the price of breaking the rules. There was nothing for Yasha to do.

And I like how that translated to Beau in the end, because Yasha was very clear that she wanted to protect her family while also understanding that they were capable on their own. It would have been so easy to become someone who stepped in for Beau or any of them too much, to have grown into someone who overlooked the Nein’s own capabilities in the name of preventing bad things from happening to them. But I think part of learning to forgive herself for what happened to Zuala (and part of not pursuing a resurrection) was the understanding that Zuala had accepted the possible consequences before she made her choice and she made it all the same. There was nothing Yasha could have done and nothing Zuala would have asked of her. She was very clear: the risk of death was worth the reward of the change she believed in. 

This whole time, by Yasha’s recollection, we have assumed there was a formal execution. Plenty of chances for Yasha to step in, to stop it (whether that was even feasible or not) only for her to run instead as her wife was killed. That last part is how Yasha saw things for a long time. But now we know - the only thing Yasha could have done differently was... overcome the years - the lifetime - of conviction that Skyspear was immutable, the brainwashing that she was chosen by the gods and the final authority, and so on. No big deal, right? Of fucking course it was a big deal - because that is what it would have taken to go with Zuala and explain this together, and that was not a reasonable request for Zuala to make of her. So she didn’t, and this too was a form of love. It would have been so easy to have had Zuala question Yasha’s commitment to their relationship, but she left to talk to Skyspear knowing exactly why Yasha could not follow and accepting that bringing about this change was her task - and it did indeed happen, but not in Skyspear. In Yasha.

And I really like that it changed Yasha so profoundly that even when she was a shell of who she’d been, part of her still recognized and was drawn to the qualities in Beau that had caused Zuala’s death - except this time, Yasha’s ready to fight for the world to know who she loves. This time, after all these months growing with the Nein and finding her new family, neither she nor Beau will be a pawn of fate. This time, all of Yasha’s choices are her own and she will choose her family and her love every single chance she gets.