#Skittles the penguin

[gummygoatgalaxy]

Ducktales Kiddo Doodles

just some ships and headcanons of mine

[bombyxluna]

Barty who brings Evan little trinkets is so dear to me. He finds a dead bug and thinks oh Evan would love this. When he shaves his hair to annoy his dad he gives Evan a lock of it. He finds dead animal remains and cleans them up and bring Evan their skull and bones. If it’s a recent death, he brings Evan the whole thing. He steals books from the restricted section and the Crouch private library and brings them to Evan. He loves watching the way Evan’s usually flat stare brightens when he sees what new thing he brought for his ever growing collection, to watch the boy he’s so dearly obsessed with examine and prod at and dissect and keep whatever he gives him.

[thriftrescue]

Ya I run Linux ON my Mac - Skittles Edition

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Speaking of childhood movies that shaped me as a young child, I don't talk about Scamper the Penguin enough. Which was apparently originally a Russian movie called Lolo the Penguin, but they will never make me call him that, sorry. That's my boy Scamper.

[icybluepenguin]

Penguin 2 has a ridiculous stuffed chicken and wanted a baby sized ridiculous stuffed chicken

So I made her one

[captainlinguini]

[tsams-and-co-memes]

LAES Lunar Canon Info

Updated - 11/10/24

Lunar's likes:

Sour skittles, Smarty’s, and chewy chips ahoy

Beanbags

Things that glow in the dark

Metal music, as long as it’s still intelligible

Peaches and bananas

Comic books

Spider lily flowers

Space and astrology related things

Making an entrance

Spigot

Uncrustables

Kingdom Hearts

Anything sugary

Chainsaw Man

Sushi

Making himself smaller for other people (<- being small is a comfort thing for him)

Coffee (it's implied that he rarely, if ever, gets it though)

Tekken 8

Penguins

Friday Night Funkin

Bowser

Lunar's dislikes:

My Chemical Romance

Wildberry poptarts

MLP (his favorite is Rainbow Dash)

Lunala and Pinchurchin (his favorite Pokémon)

His favorite expression of love is words of affirmation

The ocean

Putting ice in his drinks

The color red

History. In his words, history sucks and is like the worst subject in school

The color yellow

Football

Eclipse (<- he's more indifferent to Eclipse now, more than anything else)

Bloodmoon

The creator

Jack (subject to change) (Lunar's cool with Jack now)

Peanut butter

Miscellaneous:

If Lunar gets too scared, he WILL cry

Unlike his brothers, he can eat food (<- retconned. They can all eat now)

When he is upset, anxious, tense, or getting scared, he makes a high pitched squeak sound that’s almost the equivalent of a whimper, but it sounds like a creaky door

His voice box has a concert hall sort of effect, in which a lot of reverb is added to whatever he says. There’s also another special function that lets him sound like he’s talking on an old radio station

He’s very sassy

He was originally made of nanomachines, before he was blown up by Eclipse

His birthday is August 11th

If he could have a pet, it’d be a chinchilla

He prefers showers over baths

He likes to act more childlike, although he himself is actually an adult

He has a habit of saying things that are very out of pocket

Lunar is slightly colorblind

He has weather based powers– namely wind and lightning (<- his powers are actually based on nature in general)

One of Lunar’s favorite games is Bloons TD6

His memory isn’t very good

Lunar doesn't wake up immediately and is groggy for a bit in the morning. He also screams every morning to help himself wake up more. His "wake up scream" also helps motivate him, too

It's implied that he watches Phineas and Ferb

He cleans himself via taking a sponge and scrubbing the metal parts of himself

Monty did design Lunar with the capability to change his clothes

Lunar's a sleep talker

Lunar can't read cursive, while Earth can

Lunar gets into a lot of trouble with small animals

When Lunar gets angry enough, he sounds more like Moon

He's good at math

He occasionally eavesdrops on Earth’s therapy sessions with people if he finds the person attending interesting at all

Lunar doesn't know how to read Morse code

Lunar's comfort food is chips, and he eats them when stressed

When Lunar had a tail, his tail apparently was sensitive

Lunar's not good at rhythm games

Lunar has a stomach hatch that opens sideways like a cabinet door

Lunar sometimes makes the kids dance in the daycare. He even dances with them

Lunar thinks Bowser "can get it"

Lunar could eat an entire crate of Nutella in 3 days, and his body would convert it into star power

Lunar doesn't watch R-rated movies

Lunar doesn't eat very much healthy food

Lunar is possibly Monty's smoking buddy

Lunar has a bedroom in Sun and Moon’s basement, then he has a separate room for napping

Lunar has a borderline addiction (?) to Nutella and even has a room he uses for the sole purpose of storing it

Lunar is pansexual, but doesn't currently know if he's polyamorous or not

If he could wear other clothes, Lunar would want sweatpants, baggy t-shirts, and at least one suit (for Earth's amusement, mostly. So she can pick him up and pretend he's her son or something). No matter what he wears though, he'd always have his hat

Lunar has a little private getaway in the woods that he goes to sometimes. Monty helped him build it

Lunar is non-binary and omniromantic

[sulphuric-onyx]

Just saw @slyvester101's water park au post, and a, that's fucking brilliant, I love it, and b, seeing the love of the silly au ideas for the skittle soldiers reminded me of a zoo keeper au idea I had a little while ago, so here's that.

The idea mainly focused on Wash and Tucker, because what else do I write about, so I'll talk about them and what they're jobs are as keepers first. (also not all of the reds and blues are here, so feel free to come up with where you think they'd be)

-Tucker is their resident "Shit nobody wants to go anywhere near guy", primarily working with the big cats, and the few snakes they have there. He lives for working up the crowds during any feeding times or exhibitions, and has gained a bit of a reputation for it, turning into a slight attraction for the park.

-Wash sticks to the calmer side of the park, or at least as calm as it can get where they all work, usually found in Avery whistling back to the birds, or in their marine enclosures. However, he's one of the most researched at the park, and gets called in as a pseudo announcer for a lot of the parks shows, mainly Tucker's, which is where the real attraction for the crowd lies.

Wash makes little comments and jokes at Tucker during his shows, i.e "this strategy your seeing here is similar to Tucker's own mating efforts, which is to say ineffective," and other things along those lines, and Tucker usually flirts at him in response over their mics to get a rise out of him, which is really what the park goers come to see.

-Kai works at all of the interactive enclosures, mainly the small petting zoo area, and the tortoise exhibit where park goers can feed them and pat their shelves if the tortoises decide to come closer enough. Usually Tucker's not far behind her either, visiting her to gossip and bitch between shows.

-Carolina works in the antarctic section, polar bears, emperor penguins, a few specific kinds of seals, etc, her and Wash end up working together on a few enclosures so they spend a lot of time together, and as much as they claim not to, they gossip just as much as everyone else.

-Grif works at the sloth and lizard enclosures, and he will be damned if he has to be anywhere else, which has nothing to do with the fact that it's right next to where Simmons works at the monkey and orangutan enclosures, and Simmons loves talking to people about how intelligent they are to anyone who will listen, which is usually Grif.

-the squad leaders are frequent park goers, who are kind of hoping for a job there at some point, which all of the current crew claim to hate the idea of, but they've been subtly mentoring all of them with the skills and things they'll need to know to get hired.

-Kimball is the one managing this whole god forsaken place, don't ask about her, she's got enough going on as it is.

[maliabakerenthusiast]

the charming hearts nation family

levi: I made lightly fried fish fillets for dinner. ann: levi, It’s 1:15 am, what the fuck. levi: Do you want the lightly fried fish fillets or not. ann: Well, I mean yeah. levi: So come downstairs while they’re still hot. ann: Wait, you just made them? levi: Yeah, I wasn’t tired so I decided to make lightly fried fish fillets. ann: Say lightly fried fish fillets one more time levi.

night: lili , you need to calm down. lili , slamming their fists on the table: BUT HOW CAN IT BE "BIRTHDAY CAKE" FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR?!

gary: Why would you do that? val: Because I feel guilty. haylie: Guilt is a trick emotion. It’s put there by your parents to stop you from doing things that feel good.

ann, texting king: sends a voice message king, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? ann: No, don’t worry, just listen later. later king: presses play ann's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

red: I have to say, I'm a little embarrassed for you. angie: This is a sports-related injury. It makes me look cool! red: Tripping over a basketball on your way to the bathroom is not cool!

ally: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. corn: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. red: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? ally, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

em: savvy, no. savvy: savvy, yes.

florian : How do tall people people possibly sleep at night when the blanket can't possibly cover you? robyn: florian , it's four o'clock in the morning. florian : So, you can't sleep, huh? Is it because of the blanket?

lucky: ally, you're my best friend. ally: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend. ally: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

em: How would you like your coffee? red: As dark as my soul. em: Got it, one cup of milk coming right up!

Cop: What are your names? ann: Don't tell them, red. Cop, writing: red… ann: Crap. red: Nice going, ann. Cop: red: Uh oh.

florian : Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. jr: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… lego: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. kate: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. lucky: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. lili : Mental stability, my old friend! florian : Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

gray: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means! lego: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want? grayy: What? No! What has orion been telling you? orion, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

In a group chat kenny: A pegan just flew into my window. savvy: Pegan? em: A what? lili : Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan. lego: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO! lili : Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window. lego: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window. jr: the disease is soreading

[merwynpersonalhub]

dumb quotes i made dhdhd im copy and pasting them instead of taking pics lol

Marco: Don’t be sad!

Roy: Why not?

Marco:

Marco: I don’t have a good answer.

-----

Marco: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Streber: I think that would be dangerous for the ghosts.

-----

Radford: When I said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a conch shell!

Marco: *Struggling to hold a seagull* Fucking say that next time!

------

*In a group chat*

Marco: A pegan just flew into my window.

Rick: Pegan?

Streber: A what?

Roy: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.

Radford: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!

Roy: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.

Radford: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.

Marco: I literally just made a typo-

(I THINK ITS FUNNY THATS ROY IN A GROUP CHAT WITH ALL OF THEM IM SORRY-)

-------

Marco: Consider the fundraising over! Your hero has arrived!

Veronika: Uhh… where did you get so much money from, Marco?

Marco: Well, you know, I’m pretty good at numbers. I just crunched them, I stretched them, I analyzed my accounts, I timed the market-

*police sirens start to wail in the background*

Veronika: DID YOU ROB A BANK?!

Marco: Oh, come on, Veronika, do you really think so little of me? *opens the bag as purple dye explodes on their face*

Veronika:

Marco: …it was a credit union.

-----

Kevin: No, I don't want to talk about physics! I don't know anything about the laws of physics because they are hard and boring. I simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! Is that really asking too much?

Veronika: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is!

Kevin: Well, guess what? Science is stupid bullshit!!

Veronika: You take that back!!!

Kevin: No. Magic is awesome. Science blows. The end.

----

Roy: When life gives you lemons, what do you do?

Robert: Make lemonade!

Roy: No, throw them back up in the sky and make life deal with it’s own shit.

----

Streber: I’ve only ever said ‘I love you’ to two people in my entire life: Marco and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Marco.

----

Kevin: Wow, I feel happy and I’m having so much fun!

Kevin:

Kevin: *narrows eyes* Something’s wrong here.

----

Radford: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!

Streber: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?

Radford: What? No! What has Rick been telling you?

Rick, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.

[thatcoolkidgab]

Blog of Gab

My First Travel Abroad in Macau and Hong Kong, China

Hi my name is Renzo Gab, I am 11 and I'm from the Philippines. This is my first blog, about my first travel abroad to Macau and Hong Kong in China. I remember this experience vividly because at the time I was still a young 6 year old boy. I will try to tell you everything I can remember. I remember going to 4 famous places that I will tell you in the next minutes. In the year of 2018, when I was a young 6 year old boy in the first grade. The people who went with me were my mom, dad, sister, tito, my tita and her two friends. I can still remember when my mom picked me up from school to go to my dad's office and then go to the airport. Our airplane ride was from the MCIA to the Macau Airport, I can still remember when we arrived in Macau late at night at like 8:00 pm and I saw the beautiful lights of the Las Vegas of Asia or of the East.

We rode a taxi going to our prestigious hotel, I remember we took a quick snack in 7-Eleven and I tried purple Skittles and blue Yakult. We slept and the next day we rode a quick 1-hour boat ride to Hong Kong. We went to Hong Kong Disneyland, I remember going to the area of the "Jungle Book", buying me toys from Toy Story 4, a new movie at the time, I also ate the famous Mickey Mouse Waffles. One of the things I remember the most in the Disneyland trip was the time we lined up for a Lion King play, I hated it because it was so hot during the lining, at the end of the play, I loved it and my family laughed at me. I ate ice cream from a cart while my dad and uncle went to the Iron Man ride. We went home to our AirBnB, I was impressed by all the cool things in the place.

The day after we went to Hong Kong Ocean Park, a park filled with animals, rides, restaurants, and fun! I saw many animals there like a giant salamander, red pandas, walruses, and penguins. I rode a cable car to a Buddhist temple, during the ride we saw the most famous Buddhist temple, The Big Buddha. I remember in HKOP I saw pictures of the Strawhat Pirates from One Piece, at the time I thought they were weird, but now I love One Piece.

I am forever thankful for my family and friends for providing a young child like me an experience of a lifetime! I love Hong Kong and Macau, even if the citizens of Hong Kong were pretty rude, I still want to return their. An opinion of mine is that, Hong Kong Ocean Park is better than Hong Kong Disneyland, this opinion is mostly based on the fact that I love animals, I even wanted to be a zoologist for most of my life. Thank you for reading my first blog and this is Renzo, signing off for now, bye.

[hazel-mckat]

Characters I relate to by the personality database

Personality type: Infp

Legoshi ( beastars )

Darwin watterson ( tawog )

Joker 'Arthur fleck' ( Joker )

Butters Stotch ( South Park )

Lapis Lazuli ( Steven universe )

Peter Parker/Spider man ( Marvel comics )

Bubbles ( the powerpuff girls )

Edward scissorhands ( 1990 )

Charlie brown ( Peanuts )

WALL-E ( 2008 )

Jaiden animations ( Artsists & Animators )

Victor Van Dort ( Corpse bride )

Sykkuno ( Gaming )

Napstablook ( Undertale )

Panda bear ( We bare bears )

BMO ( Adventure time )

Asriel Dreemurr ( Undertale )

Noelle Holiday ( Deltarune )

Eeyore ( winnie the pooh )

Carrie Krueger ( Tawog )

Jack stauber ( Musicians )

Nikki Maxwell ( Dork dairies )

Vex ( League of legends )

Yellow guy ( dhmis )

Cinnamoroll ( sanrio )

Pyro ( tf2 )

Alec benjamin ( pop & contemporary )

Evan afton/crying child ( Fnaf )

Licorice cookie ( cookie run )

Bob ( despicable me )

Kermit the frog ( the muppets )

Totoro ( Tonari no Totoro )

Mimikyu ( Pokémon )

Ghast ( Minecraft )

White crewmate ( Among us )

Aled Last ( radio Silence )

Candy Chiu ( Gravity falls )

Mew ( Pokémon )

Salad fingers

Bingo heeler ( Bluey )

Resasuke ( Aggretsuko )

Frisk [Pacifist Route] ( Undertale )

Celeste ( Animal crossing )

Flick ( Animal crossing )

OMOCAT ( Game development )

Daniel Middleton/DanTDM ( Gaming )

Christopher Robin ( Winnie the pooh )

Kayleigh Smith/Wolfychu ( Artists & Animators )

Niko ( Oneshot )

Bonnie Anderson ( Toy story )

Blue pearl ( Steven universe )

Bastion ( overwatch )

Toxic morty ( Rick and Morty )

Baby groot ( MCU: The heroes )

Shirokuma ( Danganronpa )

The Hollow Knight ( Hollow Knight )

Pochacco ( Sanrio )

Po ( Teletubbies )

Frog ( Peppa pig )

My melody ( Onegia My Melody )

Maddie Flour ( Amphibia )

Marshmello ( Pop & Contemporary )

Pusheen ( Pusheen the cat )

The Iron giant ( 1999 )

The little prince ( 2015 )

Ivor ( Minecraft story mode )

Sherb ( Animal crossing )

Ravenpaw ( Warrior cats )

Andrew Tsyaston ( Artists & Animators )

Audrey ( Bendy and the dark revival )

Bendy ( Bendy and the dark revival )

Cuptoast ( Artists & Animators )

Owlbert ( The owl house )

Squid ink cookie ( cookie run )

Sarah ( Sarah's scribbles )

Depressed stereotype ( Gacha life )

Clumsy smurf ( Smurfs )

Penny ( Bolt )

The living tombstone ( Musicians )

Henry stein ( Bendy and the dark revival )

Tack ( The thief and the cobbler )

Lloyd Garmadon ( The Lego Movie )

Ghosts ( Among us )

Nightmare Fredbear ( Fnaf )

Piu Piu ( Molang )

Graphite Raven ( Teen Titans 2003 )

Squid ( Minecraft )

Antfrost ( Gaming )

Pichu ( Pokémon )

Pinga ( Pingu )

SCP-1471 "MalO ver1.0.0" ( SCP Foundation )

Shy imaginary older brother ( dhmis )

Katzun ( Artists & Animators )

Bonnet ( Fnaf )

Timid Raven ( Teen titans Go! 2013 )

Manatreed ( Gaming )

Arts and Crafters ( baldi's basics in education and learning )

Sophia ( stardew valley )

Jay ( The lego movie )

Jack Russell ( Bluey )

Shannon Gurr/Shgurr ( Artists & Animators )

Skittle ( Beluga's Discord Characters )

Alolan Vulpix ( Pokémon )

Clancee ( Ninjago: Masters of spinjitzu )

1 ( Numberjacks )

Softie stereotype ( Gacha Life )

Oz ( Monster Prom )

Kyle ( Animal Crossing )

Angmar ( the owl house )

SCP-2521 "••/•••••/••/•" ( SCP Foundation )

Cappuccino ( Sanrio )

Teddy ( Mr. Bean )

Winnie the pooh ( Christopher Robin )

White Puffle ( club penguin )

Chipflake ( Artists & Animators )

August "Auggie" Pullman ( Wonder )

Norton ( Spongebob SquarePants )

Meowstic - Male [Nyaonix] ( Pokémon )

Claire/Opal ( Jack stauber's OPAL )

Espurr ( Pokémon )

Whimsun ( Undertale )

Bryan Jacobsen ( Inside job )

Mincy ( OMORI )

Tails ( Sonic the hedgehog )

Panda ( Minecraft )

Jesus ( Family guy )

Grim Matchstick ( cuphead )

Clara Buhalmet ( Fran Bow )

Rococo ( OMORI )

Turniphead ( Howl's moving castle )

JAMIErighrmeow ( Artists & Animators )

Spifey ( Gaming )

Honeycute ( Sanrio )

Puddle Slime ( Slime Rancher )

Sarah ( Sarah and Duck )

Bebepine ( Artists & Animators )

Dream ( Heat Waves (Fanfiction))

Hummingmint ( Sanrio )

Shyren ( Undertale )

Calum Bowen "bo en" ( Electronic and Experimental )

Invader Skoodge ( Invader Zim )

Alfie ( Bluey )

Sad Larry ( Cyanide & Happiness )

Pure Vessel ( Hollow Knight )

Die ( Homestuck )

Po ( Slendytubbies )

Donald Duck ( Duck Tales )

Boggo ( The land of Boggs )

Withered Cupcake ( Fnaf )

Glare ( Minecraft )

The Diamond Minecraft "DanTDM" ( Minecraft Story Mode )

Kit ( Ratchet & Clank )

Rusty the Dalek ( Doctor Who )

Beau ( Helluva Boss )

Pat ( Later Alligator )

Melotune ( Sanrio )

Milkeemimi ( Sanrio )

Mr. Nobody ( Mr. Men )

Oldmin ( The Henry Stickman collection )

Axo ( Fortnite )

Doll ( Murder Drones )

Qbert ( Pixels )

Blue-Haired Girl ( OMORI )

Sharleen ( OMORI )

Costume Bob ( Sr Pelo )

Dana Cardinal ( Welcome to Night Vale )

Googuy ( The Henry Stickman Collection )

Yogurt ( Dream SMP )

Pain Demon ( Yandere Simulator )

Nyoko ( Sanrio )

Z ( Alphabet Lore )

Shmipper ( Gravity falls )

The Bin ( Don't hug me I'm scared )

Pooky ( Garfield )

Phoodu ( Gaming )

Callahan ( Gaming )

SOUL ( Deltarune )

Duncan ( Don't hug me I'm scared )

The Lost ( The binding of Isaac )

Nuetral Good ( 5x5 Alignment chart )

Emma ( Sanrio )

Tubbo ( Passerine ( Fanfic ))

Phantom Mangle ( Fnaf )

Voss ( Beastars )

Megan Holmes ( Sally Face )

Lucas Ryan ( Solitaire )

Can't let go ( Geometry dash )

Amaura ( Pokémon )

N ( Alphabet Lore )

Foxy ( Fnaf )

Polargeist ( Geometry Dash )

Henry Fisher ( Sally face )

Lost ones ( Bendy and the ink machine/dark revival )

Boris ( Bendy and the ink machine )

Idek why i did this-

[episodeoftv]

Round 1 of 8, Group 8 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Spy x Family: 1.12 Penguin Park / ペンギンパーク

A trip to the local aquarium results in mayhem for the entire Forger family as Loid is assigned a mission that is, fortuitously, located in the same place.

Spy x Family is already the show of all time but this episode just perfectly encapsulates the chaos and omedy this show is. three dumbasses who have never once lived a normal life and are also Autism™ desperately trying to act like a normal family. none of them are communicating with each other. the superspy dad is literally so fucking tired he's going to explode. the telepathic 4yo does half the work. the assassin mom kicks a guy into the ceiling. every line anya says is fucking gold and fucking adorable. i watch this episode twice daily

The Aquabats Super Show: 2.05 The Antibats

Two competing bands seeking revenge on The Aquabats! unite with evil Silver Skull and become the Anti-bats! Ricky abandons The Aquabats! for newfound love and must choose between his new girlfriend and saving his friends as the mighty Anti-bats close in.

Okay, first off, I'm probably WAY to old for this show, but it's so good! Yes, it's a corny kids show, but it's so amazing! This episode features Mikey Way from My Chemical Romance as one of the villains (he looks SO hot btw) and the plot is so funny! It's loser heroes against punk villains, random sound effects, corny acting, and a random fake popcorn commercial spliced in??? And it has a special place in my heart because I was really sick while watching it. But you absolutely can't take it seriously. Like. At all. You have to get so hyped up on candy (I ate Skittle lol) 10/10 experience would recommend. And it was released in 2013. 10 years ago.

https://youtu.be/rCMtjswEd6Q

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Thinking about that video with the feisty adélie penguin this morning 🥺

[austronauts]

I'm curious as to how you got mitched. Was it gradual or did you just wake up one day with an all consuming urge to gently cradle this hamster of a man in your palms and deposit him into your pocket

oh it was not gradual at all let me tell you. it descended upon me faster than the leafs concede 2-0 leads. it descended upon me SO SWIFTLY i'm still reeling and trying to understand WHAT HAPPENED and how this little twink got me SO BAD.

so, the chronology of events and the Epic Tale of The Fall of Troy (me) to The Twink was as follows:

me happily existing as a pens fan who - after a long hiatus of not following hockey closely - just started getting back into the penguins because a casual conversation with my friends about hockey awakened my dormant penguins sicko memories and instincts like mount vesuvius erupting all over pompeii and herculaneum

me happily joining hockey tumblr and frolicking around in the pensblr fandom. i'd seen a couple of leafs games and knew that "that kid marner" was really good and played VERY pretty hockey but I honestly did not think about him at all! he was just some tiktoker lookin ass dude and i was busy tending to my geriatric birds (although i will say - as i started watching more and more hockey, leafs immediately endeared themselves to me for reasons i can't quite articulate. they just had good vibes. the contrast between the INCREDIBLE hypnotizingly beautiful hockey they played + the utterly boneheaded indefensibly bad mistakes and losses to bottom feeder teams? relatable queens!)

and then one day i found "jack campbell cat dad" content on here and became intrigued by auston matthews' massive mountainous body and jawline and looked up toronto maple leafs content on youtube. THIS, DEAR READER, WAS MY FIRST FATAL MISTAKE. you see - the toronto maple leafs' social media team HANDS DOWN makes the best content, because they FUNDAMENTALLY realize hockey teams and kpop groups are the same thing, especially when it comes to gaining new fans.

ANYWAY, i still remember the EXACT video that made me go - "my god, what is this silly little twink all about. why does he have eyelashes like that. i would like to both squash him into a viscous glittery paste i rub on my eyelids like eyeshadow AND cradle him in my fannypack while feeding him little nuts and pieces of asiago cheese." IT WAS THIS VIDEO - tHE LEAFS CALLING EACH OTHER OUT . THE INFAMOUS VIDEO WHERE MITCH DOESNT KNOW HOW TO SAY ENCYCLOPEDIA. i love a dumb little boy!

MY SECOND FATAL MISTAKE was dragging a fellow friend into hockey with me because im incapable of obsessing over something by myself. i always need to get someone else into it too. SO. I started showing my friend leafs content and SHE was like "have u noticed that this little fruit won't stop talking about auston matthews every chance he gets" (EXHIBIT A: THIS VIDEO where mitch mentions how good auston looks in EVERYTHING every 20 seconds. baby girl, enough. ENOUGH. just say you're dickmatized and go)

and then alas. ALAS. my third and final fatal mistake was going down the mitch marner tag on tumblr and unfortunately being exposed to all the ways in which! he is just! AN IDIOT MANIC PIXIE DREAM TWINK with 2 braincells (one of which is a sour skittle), daddy issues and tragic lore, and irresponsibly long eyelashes who loves physically glomming onto every teammate like a baby koalabear, adopting himself into older teammates' families as their part-time son and part-time dog, wearing terrible outfits and dancing in them, generally being a needy sweetheart that loves to chirp his teammates (poorly) but loves gassing them up even more, drawing smiley faces on his gloves to remind himself that hockey is supposed to be fun (this detail kills me every day), and making weird little faces on the bench because he has the zoomies? god, i am not your strongest soldier! i was not BUILT to be able to resist little sugary sweet morsels like this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if MATTHEW MARTIN, one of nhl's TOP LEADERS IN HITS, caved into mitchell marner heart body and soul....what the fuck am I supposed to do? not give him the love and headpats and neck scritches he wants? not root for his little happiness and well-being? i'm an idiot but not a MONSTER

anyway, that's why i am here typing up this monstrous screed on all the ways in which i was personally victimized by mitchell marner i guess.

okay wait i WILL add one thing - so long before i was a hockey fan i was a soccer fan, and have always always loved undersized creative playmakers who can seemingly weave magic from thin air while effortlessly eluding opponents as if they're made from pixie dust themselves. i have no doubt if mitch grew up in a country where soccer was THE sport, he would be a world class playmaking midfielder right now. and in that sense i do think my adoption of mitch marner as my little hamster was inevitable tbh.

[awesomecooperlove]

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