#Siyanda | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ketso · 2 years ago

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Episode 41

Senzi and I are in KZN today. My dad and his wife, Siyanda, are doing some ritual. My dad tried to explain it to me, but shame, I still have no idea. Senzi and I drove down with Khanya and Khosini. Khanya sat in the front with Senzi. I’m the lucky one who was at the back with grumpy Khosini. I worry about this boy’s anger. You can’t be angry about Nathi not being married to your mother. You can’t. It’s good for your mother when Nathi is not with her. He’s quite… not the husband you’d wish upon your worst enemy. I don’t even know how his young thang of a wife is managing him. Maybe she’s young enough to be played by him, asazi. Or maybe she was taught all that hostile crap that adults will tell you is the secret to long lasting marriage:

- indoda ayibuzwa

- You give him sex no matter what

- You call him baba, not by name

- He is your master

All that crap. But she’s such a nice chick. I once took her shopping then we did lunch together. I get the feeling that she doesn’t have friends. I feel like I’m her g. We are very close in age. She’s only about five years older than me. My dad likes it… or appreciates it, angazi. But hey, both my parents seem happy. So I’m happy.

The old people here… I love them. They are honestly treating me like I’m disabled. I’m just told to sit and do nothing. I just peel and chop vegetables by the area where everyone is working. I get to listen to the gossip and let me tell you….!!!! Village gossip! Yoh!

So apparently…

There’s a mama here who has multiple kids by different men… basically, fruit salad situation. Now, she slept with some other woman’s husband and she got so mad, she started going door to door to every other woman in the village whose husband has fathered this woman’s children, and told them that their husbands are this woman’s baby daddies. Now these women took hot water and whips to deal with this woman at her house. Moghel phoned the popo. The women in this kitchen, telling this story, cannot believe moghel’s audacity to phone the police when she’s the one who’s been the village bicycle. When I raised, deep in laughter by the way, that being a whore is not a crime, but assault with intent to cause grievous bodily harm is, they threw a whole “YHHHHUUUUUU!!!!! INI?!”

I was so dead with laughter.

Now, those mamas burned her house down. And the commentary to that is that she must see what she does with her fruit salad, but she will be fine. People like her do very well in Johannesburg. Weh!

I learned that my dad’s wife is not liked very much around here. She’s not even here sitting with us. But these women didn’t like Mam’Thandeka neither, so I know that you don’t have to be much for them to not like you. It’s really not difficult to be hated by them. I like my gogo, though. Love her, actually. She’s always been on my side. Even when Mam’Thandeka and my dad didn’t want me, she was always there and she made sure that I landed okay. She’s happy for me that my mother and I are building. But I’ll never forget about her. I know my dad still looks after her, but I also do my bit to make sure that she’s comfortable. Sometimes, my dad will phone me and we laugh about how we are gogo’s ATMs. But he appreciates it. I don’t hate my dad. Sometimes, I feel like he thinks that I hate him. But I don’t. I actually understand him more than he thinks.

“Wandisa, are you busy?” My gogo says to me. I don’t even know where she’s been. I’ve just been with these gogos listening to their gossip.

“I’m just chopping and peeling veggies.”

“Hai, ziyeke. Woza.” She says.

I put the tray aside then follow her to wherever she’s taking me to.

I notice Khanya and Senzi chilling together. Shame, they’ve been working. They even bought those PEP blue overalls. They look like hard labourers. Khosini is on his phone… in white sneakers even. You can just tell that he’s done nothing all day.

“Yin’ inkinga yakhe lo?” Gogo asks me… about Khanyisa.

“Nami angazi, gogo. He’s been like this since the divorce kababa noMam’Thandeka.” I say.

“Hai bo! Namanje?! Why wasn’t he sour when his mother went to have another child with another man while she was still married?”

That’s a very good question. But I’ve never asked him that.

“Lalela ntombi, I was just missing you. I wanted us to just catch up.” She says as we sit in the rondel that Senzi and I are sleeping in.

“Okay. Is everything okay?” I ask her.

We lie down on the bed.

“Everything is fine. What do you think of Siyanda?”

Okay, we are here to gossip.

“I don’t know enough about her to really have an opinion. I just know the facts… she’s young and she’s usually bored. So I usually take her shopping with me or take her out for lunch… things like that. She doesn’t have a job. She’s always waiting on dad and we both know that’s not good for the heart.” I say.

We both laugh.

“We took lobola out for her because her parents needed it for their leadership”, she tells me.

I zoom in and engage her.

“But mina shame, I don’t like her for my son.”

“Why?” I enquire.

“Nkosinathi is a divorcee with three kids. We all know that his marriage to Thandeka had way too many challenges. Uphilile uNkosinathi. This girl shame… ingane! UNkosinathi aqinele uThandeka kangaka - who’s closer to being his age mate than what Siyanda is, uzomenzani lo mmtwana wabantu?”

I get what she means. My dad is a dribbler! He will dribble ubukleva out of anyone. I don’t know how my mom survived. Maybe I need the full story of that situation.

Actually, I don’t want to know.

Gogo continues, “UNkosinathi just needs a woman who - like him - is done having children and being taken by things like marriage. We’ve established that he will never be chief, so there’s no pressure for him to be married anymore. Makazitholele umuntu nje azohlekisana naye ngoba vele he is a man and he needs ways to release… but not someone who still has stars in her eyes, hopes to start a family and wears marriage with a pride and honour as if it’s the best thing that could happen to her. Khona manje she doesn’t have anything going for her except this marriage. And mina UNkosinathi told me that he doesn’t want anymore children. He even had a vasectomy.”

“Hai bo! A whole vasectomy?!” Im actually shocked.

“Yebo! Do we really need more children from Nkosinathi right now, kodwa Wandi? You are about to make him a grandfather. Even Khanya nje… he could just pop up and tell us that umithisile. Hai Wandisa!”

“Manje unkosikazi wakhe is aware of this?” I enquire.

“That’s why we are here today, ntombi!”

“Huh?”

“Le ngane le, ithi ikhulelwe.”

Isigaxa!

“Nkosinathi brought her here saying they’ve come for a ritual so that kuzohlangana umndeni so she can tell us where that baby comes from.”

“Hai bo, gogo. Manje thina sizofunani la?”

“You are old now, Wandi. You must be here for such conversations.”

“Gogo, I don’t want to be on a deciding committee regarding my dad’s marriage or sex life. Hai bo!”

She laughs.

This is so uncomfortable. Wait til I tell Senzi about this. But then it hits me…

“Gogo…”

“Yebo sthandwa sami?”

“I think you should go into this meeting with an open mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t get there and attack this poor lady. Phela she left her parents’ house understanding that uzokhulisa umndeni wakwaButhelezi. She gets here, no one tells her that her husband had a vasectomy. Yena nje uyamangala ukuthi akamithi. She probably had herself checked out wathola ukuthi she’s not the one with the issue. It’s possible that she went to elders and they helped with the situation… you know… ngesintu.”

“Hai Wandisa. I would have been consulted. Nathi is my son.”

“Gogo… this is the Buthelezi family. When has anyone ever followed the rules or processes? I think before you call this poor lady in and ask her to start detailing the activities of her vagina, hlalani phansi nabantu abadala and make sure that no elder is responsible for this.”

“Yabona wena! That’s why we need you in such meetings. Uhlakaniphile and you have a way of viewing things differently. Let me go and talk to Nkosinathi and the elders. Shup.”

She gets up and jogs out of the rondavel.

Weh!

Ja neh!

…

Senzi and I are chilling outside by the fire with Khanya. Khanya and Senzi created this fire with inkuni and I don’t know what else. But it’s warm. There is rather cold weather tonight. It also seems like it’s going to rain soon. I have my feet up on Senzi’s lap. Khanya put pillows to support my back. He’s so sweet shame, impinch yami.

“Ek se… owani lo msebenzi?” Khanya asks me.

I start giggling.

“Ugogo ukusikele indaba? Iza nazo phela”, Khanya and news… amathe nolimi.

“There’s no msebenzi.” I say.

They both look at me as if I’m high.

“Do you know what we have been doing all day for you to be telling us that crap?” He is getting upset. Senzi is just interested in what I have to say.

“Kuthiwa umam’ncane wethu is pregnant.” I say.

“Manje all this drama to tell us that we are about to have another sibling?” Khanya.

“This is where it gets better… ubaba doesn’t want another child.” I say.

“He didn’t think about that before agibela le ngane yabantu?” Khanya.

“Here’s the best part… ubaba had a vasectomy.” Me.

“Get the hell out of here!” Senzi.

Khanya is just shocked.

I nod my head.

“So someone went in and chowed on dad’s plate? Uyabona mara that I should’ve just tapped?” Khanya.

“Khanya, you need to stop these ‘sleep with dad’s wife’ jokes… it’s becoming less and less funny hey.” Me.

“Manje? What’s going to happen?” Senzi.

“They had initially called her here to explain where her baby comes from.” I say.

“So why aren’t we in that meeting? I mean, we came here for something, right? I want the answer to that question.” Khanya.

“Hai wena! Besides, I told ugogo that they must be careful. There could be an element of them being unfair la.” Me.

“Kanjani? She cheated.” Khanya.

“Ja. But a girl like that comes to marry Nkosinathi Buthelezi with the intention to ukukhulisa umndeni. The next thing, she’s not getting pregnant and her husband didn’t inform her that he doesn’t want anymore kids… that he had surgery to ensure it never happens. She probably reached out to an elder and someone was organised for her… you know… ngesintu.” I say.

“So what does this mean? Divorce or?” Senzi.

“Ey, I don’t know. It’s just… we all saw what happened with Tholoana.” I say.

“True. Dad is not going to stick around for this.” Khanya.

“Where’s Khosini?” I ask them.

“Probably banging himself somewhere”, what’s wrong with Khanya? That’s not even funny. Hai bo.

“Is he still upset about the divorce?” Senzi asks him.

“Yeah. He needs to grow up.”

“Khanya, uzoxola kodwa? At any point nje?” I ask him.

“He doesn’t seem to want to. I told him he must find a girlfriend because uyadina. Maybe when he has one, he will stop being so selfish.” He says.

“I worry about him. Honestly.” I say.

“You know that he told me that if Tholoana were never born, our parents would still be together. Who the hell says that? Our parents were having issues way before Tholoana happened. And dad wasn’t perfect. Mom wasn’t perfect. Their marriage wasn’t perfect.” I say.

“And it’s not like he was a child. He saw all of these things. How selfish is he to expect them to stay together despite all the crap that we witnessed in that house?” Khanya.

“Have you guys considered taking him to therapy? Maybe he is just not processing this the way that the two of you have”, Senzi.

“Do you think it’s necessary though? I mean… we all go through stuff. And he’s not the only one who’s going through this. And if we were to start talking about what Wandi went through, you’ll realise that he’s just being spoiled.” Khanya.

“I hear you. But people are just not built the same way. You guys are just more tough than he is. And to be fair, the two of you have each other. Maybe he feels as if he’s not part of your duo you know? So maybe he feels alone.” Senzi.

“But he isolates himself. We include him all the time, but he does what he did today. He puts his headsets on then leaves us alone. What more can we do?” Khanya.

Senzi looks at me.

I shrug my shoulders.

“Chat to your dad or your mom about him possibly talking to someone. We don’t want a Luhle on our hands.”

We all laugh.

I’ve told Khanya about Luhle. He knows the reference very well.

Tamia and Ntuthuko seem to be settling in quite well in their new house with their four kids. Tamia is definitely a better person than most people… to just take in four children like that? No questions asked? Ntuthuko better worship the ground that she walks on for this. In fact, our whole family should. My dad told me that MaNdlovu has been meeting up with the baby mamas and their families. They are facing an entire lawsuit, and MaNdlovu is basically forcing my father to pay for legal assistance for them. My dad won’t do it. I encouraged him not to do that. I told him that if he listens to MaNdlovu, I will personally hold him accountable for the breakdown of Ntuthuko’s and Tamia’s marriage. This family cannot and should not come across as if they don’t rate Tamia… not after what she has sacrificed to make sure that Ntuthuko’s kids are good and not after she gave up her life for Ntuthuko - particularly in such a short space of time. Also, Ntuthuko loves Tamia. I know that means nothing to MaNdlovu. But what my father and everyone else needs to understand is that they may want to teach Tamia a lesson - whatever the lesson is- but they will end up hurting Ntuthuko. That’s his woman and they need to respect that. Personally, my thoughts on the situation is that the baby mamas are insane. They don’t deserve Tamia’s kindness. Who takes their child and just shoves the child onto another woman? A woman they’ve never met before? They don’t even know if she’s crazy or what…? And for what? To prove a point? To demand more money from their baby daddy? Those women don’t deserve to be parents and if any legal person asks me my thoughts, I’ll happily tell them that those mothers are not good parents. They are actually disgusting. All this for money? If they felt that the money that they were receiving from Ntuthuko is too little, why don’t they find jobs and play their parts is raising and supporting their own children? Why is the entire financial burden on one parent? In my view, they come across as people who got pregnant on purpose just to receive a pay for it. They identified a man who would pay for their lifestyles without asking questions - as long as they mention his kids in it - then they got pregnant. Now that their plan is no linger working, #MenAreTrash. Sies!

I don’t understand what MaNdlovu is seeing in them that is making her pro-them and anti-Tamia: the better woman in all of this. She even tried to involve me in this shit. When I told her what my thoughts were in the matter, she stopped speaking to me. And you know what, I’m actually okay with that. I don’t agree with her ways of thinking anyway.

“And then?” Wandi says to me. She’s just finished showering. Her baby-bump is beginning to show and she’s so beautiful.

“Hello, my love.”

“What are you thinking about? Kunini ngikhuluma nawe? Kanti you are deep in thought… you are even ignoring me.” She says.

“Sorry baby. I’m just thinking…”

“About?”

“Tamia and Ntuthuko.”

“What about them?”

“This issue with Ntuthuko’s baby-mamas… and MaNdlovu’s approach to it. Tamia could just leave him. I don’t trust MaNdlovu.” I say.

“Baby, there’s nothing that we can do. MaNdlovu is going to do whatever that she wants to do.”

“But how will we look if we don’t even try to stop her?”

“Hai bo! We also have our own shit to deal with. We still have to focus on our move to the kingdom. You are starting a new airline. You’ve resigned from your old job. We have a child on the way. Where do we have a place to be stressing about other people’s issues? Tamia knew that Ntuthuko has had four children from four different and crazy women before she married him. He was very honest with her about that before they even slept together. Surely, she’s not sitting in her house expecting a normal life with a normal co-parenting agreement. Ntuthuko has been a meal ticket for these four crazy women since their kids were born. There will be resistance in the event that the gravy train stops.”

“And I’m sure that’s what she’s prepared to deal with. How do we explain the family helping the crazy people be more crazy? MaNdlovu wants meetings and she wants my dad and I to pay for legal assistance for these women.”

“You already said no. Your dad has said no. Everything else is in Ntuthuko’s hands to protect his wife from that crazy women. This is not going to be a group project. Senzi, I’m pregnant. I just want to be in a house where I can just sleep or wake up to just watch movies the whole day, not worrying about shit. Please! Tamia is Ntuthuko’s wife and he worries enough about her. The baby and I need you. Please.”

I look at her.

I open my arms.

She comes to sit on top of me.

“I’m sorry. I’m all yours”, I say to her, kissing her.

“Thank you”, she says, kissing me back.

I rub her stomach…

And her thighs…

She starts laughing.

I smile at her.

“So,I’ve found a house for us.” She says.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. Let me show you.” She says, getting off my lap and getting her iPad out of her handbag.

She sits on top of me again and she shows me pictures of this house that she found.

It’s a nice house. It’s a five bedroom and four and a half bathrooms. It’s in a stunning estate. It has a garden, a swimming pool, domestic worker quarters, and a a garage that fits four cars.

“I actually really like it”, I say.

“Neh? And we can actually stay there for years. It’s big enough for us and any other people that we will be bringing into the world.” She says.

“Can we afford it?” I ask her.

“Yep. With the sale that we made from my businesses, we can afford to buy it cash, buy furniture and still have enough to live for about a year.” She says.

I nod my head then I say, “I hear you. I’m also thinking that until the business takes off, I’m going to continue to work.”

“Hawu! What happened to focusing on the business?”

“I have a family. I have a beautiful wife that I need to take care of and I have a baby on the way. I cannot afford to be unemployed right now.”

“But babe, the money that -

“I know, baby. I know. But I’m not going to be okay with living off of you while I chase my pipe dream. If I can do both,I don’t see why I shouldn’t.”

“That means I’ll have less time with you. Senzi, you are always flying and when you fly, I sometimes don’t see you for two weeks. Then the little bit of time that I will have with you, you’ll be busy building a business. That means that I’ll be going through this pregnancy alone. Even when the baby is here,I’ll be alone most of the time.”

I look at her.

“Wandi, we have responsibilities and we have a certain standard of living that we want to live by.” I tell her.

“It’s not worth it, Senzi. I’d rather live in a shoe box that I lived in at Thebe’s back rooms, than have everything and not you around to live with me… raise our child with me. Hai ngeke.”

She even gets off my lap.

“What if I just work domestic flights? That way, I’ll be home everyday. I’m literally flying from one province to another. I’ll work everyday, but I’ll be home everyday at least.”

“And the business?”

“I’ll still work on it. Starting an airline is not easy. It could take up to year… or longer. I can’t be without an income for that long. I also don’t want you to go back to work unless you are ready to do so.”

She’s quiet.

She’s thinking about it.

“Wandi, I’ll be here for you and the baby. Always. I’d never make you a single mother. But I have to provide, baby. Please let me.”

…

This morning, we are to Tholoana Kingdom from KZN. Khanya and Khosini drove back with their father. We will be living with my dad and his wife while we wait for our house to be ready. Our house in Boksburg has also been sold, so our stuff is in storage in Tholoana Kingdom. I start my we job tomorrow. I work for Tholoana Kingdom Airways. My dad pulled some strings and I’m in… as one of the head pilots even. I wasn’t even that when I was operating in South Africa. I’m excited and happy to be benefit from my dad’s influence. With the salary that I will be making - triple what I made from the job I’ve just resigned from - Wandi can be a housewife for the rest of our lives. I showed my offer letter to Wandi and her eyes were in utter disbelief. She even started scouting an interior design to do something in our house and design the baby’s nursery. I shall not complain.

“I’m hoping we have a baby girl”, she says. I’m driving.

The plan was that she would drive the Golf 7 and I’d drive the Maserati. Then she decided that I’m rich now, so we can afford to have the Golf 7 and the Polo shipped to the Kingdom then we can drive together.

Like I said, I shall not complain.

“Why a girl specifically?” I ask her.

“So that she can help me spend all your money. Phela if we don’t spend it, you’ll find gold-digging and home wrecking whores who will spend it on our behalf.”

I actually laugh.

“Baby, do you really think that I’d cheat on you?” I ask her.

“I don’t know, baby. Things happen. Whores are always readily available to cheat with you. Some go to the extent of using witchcraft to getting you because they don’t necessarily want someone like you… they want you!”

“But baby I’m yours… I’m all yours. I don’t even think about cheating on you.”

“I don’t think people intend or plan to cheat… they just themselves find themselves within the act without really knowing how they got there. Then I’d be expected to understand, then forgive you… or divorce you and become a bitter ex who also happens to be the mother of your child.”

“Wandisa, Ngiyakuthanda. Kakhulu futhi. Nothing and no one is going to change that. I know that my kind of sex or gender don’t give us much credit in this faithful thing… but you are my wife… and I love you so much. Believe in me. Believe in us. Believe in what we are building. Believe in our family.”

She nods her head.

I kiss her hand.

…

It turns out that the father of Siyanda’s child is some elder in the Buthelezi family… the chief to be exact. Now Wandi’s dad wants a divorce. He’s not even interested in finding out if it was arranged for his benefit or if they are actually having an affair. I mean… in his view anyway… why would a chief be tasked with something like that?

Khanya thinks he should’ve been the one to tap. Wandi still thinks that it’s a joke. I’m not so trusting anymore. I actually believe that he means it. He has the strangest and most uncomfortable crush on his father’s wife… it’s not okay. It’s really not.

Khosini supports the divorce. Then he suggested that maybe his parents should fix things. I actually have no comment on Khosini and his deliberate will to not accept that his parents are done. They are so done that even his mother is planning to re-marry. But we will let him live in hope. Wandi is just worried about the dad. She says for a man who’s never out of options when it comes to women, it seems like he will end up alone in the long run … or in the state that we found her mother’s father in. I guess only time will tell how this one ends.

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