#Since idk what else I could do at 1:30 am in a sleeping house+flat tbh if I don't want to stare into a laptop screen

[copper-skulls]

I'm going to be a part of a ttrpg group soon, so I'm rotating characters. We're either going to use old edition of DnD or the local Dračí Doupě, which both have... dissapointingly boring PC races. I came up with axolotl folk on a whim thinking about it, and might've accidentally fallen in love with them. I hope the group + GM will let me very gently house rule them into the game now tbh... we'll see.

[whoistheasshole]

How do I get out of this unsatisfying life I’m living?

Anonymous asks: So the thing is that I feel incredibly stuck - I have all the basics of life which I'm grateful for but also that was my BIG dream as a kid, to get tf out of my parents' house - but now I have that and idk what to do for the rest of my life. Like, if I try those "visualize your future" things I'm just like, "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer" & it feels like I don't really WANT anything so I can't plan, you know? Just flailing here honestly. Pretty tired of it.

I wrote back: I got your question. To pinpoint my answer a little better, can you tell me about your current situation, like how long has it been since you moved out? Which are the things you have in order to your satisfaction? Some vague idea of your age range would also be helpful, but I can work without it too if you’d rather not share.

Anonymous answered: Ah, sorry. I was trying to fit in the character limit & also whenever I think about this my mind just goes flbbbbth. It's been about 5 years? That's about the only thing I'm truly HAPPY about, I'm not thrilled with my social/love life, career, etc & have pretty much been just coasting tbh. I'm almost 30. Thanks for entertaining this.

Alright, thanks for adding some background. I will come at this from different angles and you can pretty much pick and choose what sounds helpful and leave the rest, okay?

First, while there are people who have it all figured out, methodically planning their next career step or fully certain that there is no greater joy than raising a child, there are tons of other people who just, to quote, go „ flbbbbth“ when asked about their next steps or, god forbid, their life plan. I would say I fall in the latter camp, but I don’t mind because I think there is nothing wrong with that. I let myself be guided by the things I need to be happy (more on that later) and by current necessities – if my job becomes shit, I need to find a new job. If a friendship goes sour, I need to end it respectfully. But I couldn’t tell you specific career or personal goals, except...

... let’s talk about the „later“ now.

I’m an organizer, maybe even a worrier, and therefore I like lists. And for that reason I made a list a while ago that I still have and expect to keep for a long time. It is a list of everything that I need to be satisfied with my life. It consists of 29 entries and has three of them checked, though several others could be counted as half-checked. I wrote down everything that came to mind, paying no attention whether it was reasonable or feasible to want. That wasn’t the question.

It covers stuff like a clean flat (not checked), restful sleep (not checked), friends that I see regularly (checked) or a job with purpose (not checked). This list is my guide. Well, generally my needs are my guide, but it can be hard to be aware of your needs sometimes, so I got this list. And if I wonder what I need or want to focus on, I can turn to it and choose one of the entries and see what I can do about it. I can also look over the list every few years and see if things have developed in the right direction. Little progress is no reason to chastise myself, but helpful information to see whether I need to re-direct my focus.

Please note that I wrote „satisfied“, not „happy“. Being happy is a passing emotional state. It is completely normal and okay not to be happy all the time. But quiet satisfaction with where you are or where you are going, that is pretty achievable. It certainly is a process, but an enjoyable one.

This list is not a race and it is not really a to-do list because most of the things I wrote down aren’t easy to accomplish with a single action. They take months and years and, for some items, I can only try and hope it works out some day (see anybody who ever purposely looked for a partner).

So maybe this kind of list could be an exercise for you. Maybe it provides you with some insight, maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it’s not the right point in your life. But if you sit down and the only thing you can come up with is „cry forever“ or „sleep forever“ then, you know, that’s a sign.

Which brings me to my next point: Journaling or automatic writing. This method is especially helpful for those „I feel some kind of way and I couldn’t even tell you how“ moments – so maybe exactly where you are right now. Captain Akward has introduced me to a website called „750 words“ and I’ve used the principle of „morning pages“, though not the website, since then whenever I felt like some emotions were starting to boil over.

I sit down, ideally in the morning, and just barf it all on the (digital) page. There are only two rules: 1) Don’t edit or judge yourself, write everything as it comes to mind (that’s the automatic writing part) and 2) Don’t stop before you’ve reached 750 words. You are not looking to write anything readable or clever or lyrical, you’re looking to get all the weirdness out so you can move on. Repeat this as many days as you feel queasy or weird or confused or angry or sad. Each day, as soon as you’ve reached the 750 words, you can walk away. Heck, you could even delete/burn the document if that feels right. It’s just about giving your thoughts the room they need so you can continue with your day, hopefully feeling somewhat relieved.

While we’re at writing, I also have a question for you: Where is the pressure coming from to „do something with your life“? Is it truly coming from inside you or are there outside factors? Are people in your life asking you when you’ll have kids? Do you live in a culture where it’s expected that everybody does something of note, works certain prestigious jobs? Do you compare yourself to the people around you and feel like you’re „late“?

Maybe mull this over on a leisurely walk or write about it, using the method above. No matter where it’s coming from, the feeling of pressure won’t go away just by knowing its origin, but the knowledge can help you keep it under control. And if you find it is truly your own wish, you will have tools to shape your life according to your needs.

So, next, sleep: Maybe do that?

You wrote "I'd like to sleep for a month, maybe longer". I understand this was half a joke, but also … it was probably more than a joke.

How are your energy levels? How does life feel? Are you trying to jog through jello most of these days?

If we’ve been overachievers or had a tough home life or needed to take care of ourselves pretty early, we can become accustomed to everything being difficult. This feeling and behavior can become a way of life, even when circumstances change and we have a chance to act differently.

Do you feel rested? Do you have regular moments of quiet in your life that let you breathe? If not, this is where I would start. Forget about lists, though morning pages might be a helpful accompanying tool (if they don’t become a task to punish yourself with if you don’t find the energy).

Take some weeks or months, maybe even a year to make rest your priority. You will have to find a way that works for you. Yes there is a lot of clinically proven stuff out there, but you will not see me do yoga or meditate. Though feel free if that’s up your alley. If you love cycling or taking photos or drawing or just plain lying on your bed and staring at the wall, see where you can add more of that to your day. Whatever brings you closer to yourself and makes you feel like you can exhale and stand still for a moment, that’s the way to go. Do this as long as sleeping seems like a fine choice. And for good measure maybe a month longer. You are ready to stop when you cannot wait to do something else goddamnit I’m bored!!! (you might say)

If you are in this picture, please start here. Any kind of life plan, next steps, strategizing, solving of riddles would set you back and perpetuate your exhaustion. Rest is not time wasted, rest is how you get your life back.

If you are in this picture, you will likely find that if you really pull through, if you truly rest, as long and boring or even scary as it may be, the other questions will probably have an intuitive answer afterwards. Not like „this is my 20-year career plan“, but „I feel like doing x this week“. And that is enough. Because you won’t need to strain to hear your needs through the fog of exhaustion anymore.

Finally, some practical information and links for when you do have the energy and inclination to tackle your job and social life. I am not saying you need to change anything if that’s not what you want to focus on. These are just some tips, in case they become relevant.

For your social life, I recommend what others have recommended before me: Pick an activity that you do with other people and stick with it long enough to become a familiar face, see also here and here (yes, meeting gay people is similar to meeting other people). If you try out new stuff, go there at least 5 or 6 times before you decide it’s not for you – of course assuming nothing bad is coming up like racist or abusive people in the group. Shop around if the first group/activity doesn’t work for you until you find something that you’d like to do permanently. Maybe you’ll gain some friends, maybe you’ll find a romantic opportunity. In any case, if it’s something fun that you like to do anyway, you will have found an outlet with a social group attached. It is absolutely not as easy right now, with Covid and all, but if nothing outdoors-y comes to mind, you could also use this time to brainstorm what sounds like fun for when things are safer again.

Of course you can also look at opportunities online, like Discord servers, online interest groups etc but I do understand if that’s just not appealing right now. I am certainly over sitting in front of a screen.

To round this up, don’t sneeze at contacts that you already have. Are there acquaintances, friends of friends, colleagues, family members who you would like to get to know better? Then go do that! Suggest a time and place to meet up and see how they react. Say yes to the potential friends.

Speaking of which...

The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes might also be interesting. Sure, it’s a little pop culture positive thinking kinda stuff, but I did like the impulse it gave me to consider when I say no to opportunities out of anxiety or worry. It made me accept some social invitations from colleagues (… in the before times) that I would not have otherwise considered. I did not gain life-long friends, but I did learn another valuable info: That my FOMO wasn’t justified for these events ;)

It also lead me to the decision to do one new thing every month – visit a new place or try a new activity or cook a new food. If the concept sounds appealing, just think about what sounds interesting and achievable to you.

And finally, the advice blog recommendations that I’ll always have. For social life, love life, and general life planning turmoil: Captain Awkward. For everything job-related, including how to write a good cover letter or interview well and, of course, how to get out of the dreaded current job you have: Ask A Manager.

To sum it up:

1) Figure out if you even have the energy to tackle any of this right now.

2) Figure out your pillars for a satisfying life – nothing big and shiny, just … basic needs, wishes, social needs.

3) When you feel like it, pick what you want to tackle next and see where it leads you.

4) Stay flexible. This is your life and it’s okay to go where it takes you, even if it doesn’t look „cool“ or „impressive“ from the outside. All you need is to make it your own.

And if you want to, let me know how it goes some time. :)

[mcwriting]

Ready, Set, Go (Pt. 2 of AFTR)

     Alright so here’s the requested (and promised) sequel/continuation of A Flight to Remember. I know my ship list mentions that I wouldn’t do multi-part stuff (mostly bc idk how to link them haha) but I’ll put this under the AFTR tag too so it shouldn’t be hard to find. There will be a part 3. Without further ado, here you are!

Fandom: Marvel-ish

Ship: Tom Holland x Reader (Tom is mentioned, but doesn’t appear in this part, but did in pt 1 and will in pt 3!)

Setting: Unnamed smallish U.S. city from the first part of this

Word Count: 1,302

Warnings: None?

Rating: K/K+

Background: Aight so y'all can probably already tell that you can get most of the bg to this in the first part so probably check that out before you read this one. Didn’t mention this in the first part, but reader is probably 19 or 20, so not at the legal drinking age in America sorry. Also referenced but not mentioned in the original, but this is set in a timeline starting on a Wednesday and the dinner is Thursday (idk why it’s just what I went with)

*y/f/n is your friend’s name 

     You got home no more than ten minutes after leaving what you were now calling the “Holland Crew.” You were also already planning what you would wear and do tomorrow night for dinner. 

The first person you called was your friend to let her know why the text you sent her from the airport was incomplete. You explained how you met the boys but chose to leave out the whole “going to dinner at your favorite casual restaurant tomorrow night with your all time celebrity crush” thing. You knew that if you told her, she would tell others who lived in your town who would probably show up at the restaurant just for a photo op, and you knew that would be a bad experience for everyone. 

“Omg!! Y/n! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?��

“Seriously? I left the airport ten minutes ago! What more do you want?”

You also felt the need to call your parents about it, since they too were out of town, leaving you home alone until Sunday. It was only right that they knew you would be hanging with technical strangers, and that these “strangers” were incredibly famous.

Just as you expected, your mother worried about you going out with 3 young British men while your dad congratulated you for making a Hollywood hottie swoon over you.

Once finishing your conversations, you hopped into the shower to get the grimy feeling of traveling off your body and to wash the hair that you could feel getting more oily by the minute under your hat.

After your long, much needed, shower, you slowly dressed and decided to let your hair air dry. You figured that being home alone had its perks, and this was one of them. Air drying your hair was a daunting task that often took at least an hour, but you knew you wanted to straighten your hair again tomorrow and blow drying it would put your hair under too much stress.

The hour it took for your hair to dry consisted of dancing around your house excitedly once the fact that you had met, and were going to dinner with, Tom Holland and his little crew had set in. Towards the end of that hour, you saw a notification from an unknown number show up on your phone.

“Hey, y/n! It’s Harrison (aka Haz, for future reference) and I just wanted to discuss tomorrow night with you some more. Tom can’t stop talking about you ;) P.S. I got your number from his phone, so don’t be weirded out by this when you see it.”

You smiled to yourself as you added Haz to your contacts list. It wasn’t every day you got to say you had the phone numbers of two well-known actors, not that you’d be sharing them anytime soon, though. You sat down on the couch to reply to Harrison, detailing the next night’s events and asking Harrison for his opinion on how you should dress.

“Come on man! It’s not every day you get the cute boy’s wingman/bff on your side!! You know his type!”

“Y/n, if he truly likes someone, he has absolutely no care whether she’s in old sweats or a cocktail dress. Though he does like a little bit of leg…”

With that, you decided on the navy floral halter dress you had been saving to wear for a date. It wasn’t anything skimpy, only hitting just above the knees, but it was sleeveless and flowed out a little at the bottom, which complimented your body well. You hung the dress up and set below it a pair of flat, white sandals that paired well with the look. You weren’t one for heels, mostly because you enjoyed the freedom of movement without them, but also because there was many a time where you had humiliated yourself in them. 

You turned in early that night, hoping that a full night’s rest would leave you glowing the next day.

You awoke at 8:34 a.m. on Thursday and rolled out of bed, heading straight for the bathroom as always. Once out, you checked your phone for new messages. There were at least 20, all from only 3 friends. You rolled your eyes and shook your head, your friend you had called yesterday had obviously let these 3 girls know, and they couldn’t believe what they had heard.

“OMG!! Y/N! WHY DIDNT YOU CALL ME??? I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR BFF?”

“GIRL. You met TOM HOLLAND?? AND DIDNT TELL ME?!?”

“Omg y/f/n just told me you met Tom Holland and I swear to God if she was lyin…”

You rolled your eyes and replied to each about how yesterday was tiring and all you wanted to do was come home and sleep. They definitely couldn’t know about tonight. One invited you to dinner tonight to tell them all about yesterday, so you covered, saying how your parents were gone and wanted you to clean up the house while you were home alone, and you would need to catch up on work stuff before Monday rolled around. You hated lying to your friends, even if some of what you said was true. (Your parents had been serious about cleaning up the house)

You checked the clock, which read 8:58.

T minus 10 hours until you saw the boys again, so obviously you needed to start getting ready.

You started by doing your hair, a task that also took quite a bit of time. You turned on the TV for background noise as you began straightening your hair in layers. At the half-way point, you took a break to toast yourself a bagel and grab a sparkling water for breakfast. Once finishing on your hair, you went to work cleaning up the living room for your parents. By the time you were done, it was almost 11:00. Only 8 hours left to prepare for the night. 

You spent those 8 hours overthinking everything, from what you would say to how early you would show up to the restaurant to the underwear you were planning on wearing beneath your dress.

At 4:00, you touched up your hair and swiped on some mascara and a little bit of foundation. You were never one to wear makeup, and most of the time you opted to just not wear it. Even though the boys had seen you 100% makeup-less yesterday, it still felt nice to do yourself up just a little bit to raise your spirits. 

You dressed yourself at 5:45, finally deciding on that one strapless bra and those black underwear for a confidence boost. You waited until 6:30 to strap on your sandals, seeing as you wouldn’t need to leave the house until 6:40 and you honestly preferred being barefoot above anything else.

You gave yourself another once-over in the mirror before checking your little cross-body purse to make sure you had your wallet, phone, keys, and anything else you might need for an emergency. After that, you were off to the restaurant, your mind buzzing and left foot tapping against the floorboard as you tried to keep your right root from flooring the pedal out of anxiousness.

You sat in your car and gave one last deep breath once you had pulled into the parking lot, heart racing faster than you could ever remember before. It wasn’t just the fact that you were meeting your celebrity crush and his equally amazing pals for dinner tonight that got you; it was the fact that you hadn’t been on a date in quite a while and you knew you were probably just a little rusty.

With that thought, you pushed open the door, and headed off towards the front of the building, ready to dive into what would hopefully be the best night of your life.

A/N: Haha wow am I the worst or what? I know this totally didn’t even feature Tom but don’t worry, the next part will. I decided to make this more than a two-shot like I had planned because I just had too many ideas to cram it into two parts. I hope to get the next (and maybe final??) part out within the coming week, but we shall see. Tbh I’ll probably end up doing what I did with this one and write the first 3 words tonight after I post and then not finish until 9 pm next Sunday wHOoPs.

Love y'all thanks for reading xoxo 

[low-budget-mulan]

All of the "hella [...] cute yall" asks! Muhahaha!

First of all tumblr changed and for some reason I am not getting all the asks that are being sent to me. So sorry for the late response 

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

More cereal than milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

I absolutely love the cold. it is my favorite thing ever 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I have used very weird things. Usually whatever is closest. i used a slice of cheese once... 

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

i take my coffee the way I like my men rich and creamy or strong and black. there is no in between . 

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I don’t ever really smile. so i mean not really 

6: do you keep plants?

until they die yes. 

7: do you name your plants?

no??? i’m not weird 

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

sleep

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

if absolutely nobody is around 

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

yes 

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

where to begin. Snao, i dont need this my man has two jobs, it’s the strangest thing. it’s the weirdest thing, drugs, AMERICA EXPLAIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN, i eat dogs for breakfast. there is so many more that I am just going to stop here. 

12: what's your favorite planet?

URANUS 

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my friend 

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

empty because we would be using all of our money to pay rent in the stupid place 

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

My dad is helping to build the satellite to replace the hubble space telescope. 

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

RAVIOLI 

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

PURPLE 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i MADE MY PRIEST THINK I WAS PREGNANT WHILE I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. AND THE FATHER WAS ONE OF THE OTHER HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no. I have always been unable to keep journals because my family doesn’t respect my personal space 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

tbh I really like brown eyes. 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

I don’t really have a favorite bag. 

22: are you a morning person?

hell no 

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

sleep and netflix 

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

no 

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

the church 

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

i recently had to throw them away. I am now forced to wear shoes that are too small because I am too stubborn to buy new ones 

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

idk 

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset 

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

whenever i do something stupid/awkward/embarrasing my friend being completely honest will say “youre cute” she is great and must be protected at all costs 

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

when i was forced to walk through the women’s march in san francisco 

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

i prefer bearefoot, but i wear silly socks or just don’t match my socks 

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

for a second i though turtles said quack 

33: what's your fave pastry?

Conchitas 

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

it was a little stuffed girl doll thing. its name was sara (at the time I thought my name was Sarah so my doll had a different name than me) 

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

yes, but am not artistic, so they just go to waste 

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

wal 

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

clea, but it is alwasy messy 

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

idk can’t think of them off the top of my head, but when people do things then i get annoyed 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black to match my soul 

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my scapular, but it isn’t jewelry. I don’t wear jewelry just religious items. my scapular is blessed by pope francis and a third class relic of a couple saints 

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

the bible 

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

honu. its smol, family owned, and peaceful. 

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

it’s been too long. cant remember 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

adoration 

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yes 

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

it’s kinda cheesy so i don’t think it will be very gouda. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

pineapple on pizza 

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

idk wasn’t really a scared kid 

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

yes. can’t remember 

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

scapulars 

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

the digicatholit fam and taste of eternity 

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

united memes 

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no, no, yes, yes. the ones ive seen I liked 

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my grandpa when my grandma was in the hospital last week 

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

ummmmm can’t remember, but i do lots of things to prove points. 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

idk 

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it’s overplayed, but I like it. no. I am a normal person 

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

me and me 

59: what's your favorite myth?

idk 

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes. i lik the bred 

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

i gave someone a lego once. not a set of legos, not a lego man. a singular lego piece 

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

no. theyre everywhere 

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

 blue and cloudy 

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

yes. renee. it’s been almost 2 days 

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

non existent. i’d like to not die of allergies 

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

i love them. 

68: what's winter like where you live?

hot 

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopoly and quelf 

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

i was forced into playing it by someone who used to be my friend. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND NOT USING THEM EVER. 

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

iced 

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

yes, but im too lazy 

73: what are some of your worst habits?

all of them 

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

lit

75: tell us about your pets!

theyre ded 

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

ye 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink 

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

MINIONS ARE LIKE MY FAVORITE THING EVER 

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my friend will stay up super late watching movies with me even though he has things to do in the morning. 

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

dark blue. no. 

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

puddles of poo 

82: are/were you good in school?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i could have been better 

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

idk 

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

hell yea. mostly catholic stuff 

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

john paul ii comic books 

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i guess 

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

monty python, heavyweights, nacho libre 

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

catholic ones 

89: are you close to your parents?

no 

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

it’s hot and theres a lot to do 

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

JAPAN 

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

yes 

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

not brushing it because i am lazy 

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

idk? 

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

sleep 

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i wait until it won’t let me wait any longer 

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infj sign of the cross slytherin 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

idk it was fine 

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

taste of eternity, your love

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

future 

[mischievouspoltergeist]

About me :3

1: Name; Charlie, or Char 2: Age; 21 3: 3 Fears; trains, spiders, the dark 4: 3 things I love; Chocolate, my phone, & my dog 5: 4 turns on; biting, good long kisses, touch my thigh and we’re so done, lingerie 6: 4 turns off: too much talking, blindfolds, the mere suggestion of taking pictures, and men being butthurt when I tell them I’m not enjoying something 7: My best friend: Daniel, my best friend of 10 years :3 8: Sexual orientation: I don’t even know anymore 9: My best first date; Went out for a walk around a beautiful lake. It was a good day. The best dates involve exercise for me tbh 10: How tall am I: V.small. 5′4 11: What do I miss: Going for 14 mile walks. Got no one to go with since my mam stopped! 12: What time were I born: I have absolutely no idea. My parents don’t remember anything like that. 13: Favorite color: Bluuueeeeee 14: Do I have a crush: Yes 15: Favorite quote: (gosh this is hard) I guess one that always sticks out is ‘Love that is not madness is not love’ - did a whole art project around that quote a few years ago 16: Favorite place: A beach about half an hour away from me. I just feel so chill there 17: Favorite food: chocolate. all the chocolate 18: Do I use sarcasm: Every other word is sarcasm, baby 19: What am I listening to right now: The sweet silence of an empty flat with the slight hint of fridge noise. 20: First thing I notice in new person: I have no idea. I don’t think like that, I guess. 21: Shoe size: UK size 8. Annoyingly big 22: Eye color: Hazel/brown/green, they change colour for some weird fucked up genetic reason 23: Hair color: Naturally brunette, currently blonde/ginger 24: Favorite style of clothing: Comfortable 25: Ever done a prank call?: Nope! Don’t have the guts! 27: Meaning behind my URL: Peeves from Harry Potter 28: Favorite movie: Harry Potter - any of them 29: Favorite song: Right now? Halsey - Haunting, or possibly Strange Love. Hard choice 30: Favorite band: Probably always be Linkin Park tbh. Those guys slay me 31: How I feel right now: A little bit sleepy but happy 32: Someone I love: A lot of people. I have a lot of love to give 33: My current relationship status: In an exclusive crush-ship 34: My relationship with my parents: Strained, at best. 35: Favorite holiday: A few years ago, me, my mum and my best friend took a nice quiet trip to Cornwall and it was so chill and de-stressed. 36: Tattoos and piercing i have: None 37: Tattoos and piercing i want: I don’t like piercings much, and I want so many tattoos 38: The reason I joined Tumblr: A friend told me to 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?: Oh my god so much. Well, idk if he hates me but frankly if I ever see him again and I have a hot iron to hand... 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: At the minute I do and I never knew it would make me this happy 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?: Nope 42: When did I last hold hands?: November 9th 2016 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: Anywhere from 15 minutes to 45. 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?: Hell no. I don’t gots no one to show off to. 45: Where am I right now?: At my dining table in my lovely new flat <3 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: Hopefully, my best female friend Charlotte :3 She’s pretty reliable 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: Honestly depends what mood I’m in. I try to keep it reasonable but if I’m stressed or angry, the volume increases 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?: Nope! Just moved out my mum’s! 49: Am I excited for anything?: THE YU-GI-OH MOVIE OMG 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?: Yah. Best friend 51: How often do I wear a fake smile?: 97% of the time. I find I feel better if I smile anyway. Fake it til you make it~ 52: When was the last time I hugged someone?: Uhhhhh Sunday :3 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: I’d be pretty upset and hurt and confused! 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?: Probably! 55: What is something I disliked about today?: I had to drive a car. Why make me do this 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: Maria Mena. I just want to. 57: What do I think about most?: Idk. The crush bae. Naruto. YGO. My crushing mental illness. They all take up my mind evenly. 58: What’s my strangest talent?: I don’t think any of my talents are strange! (but I would say that) 59: Do I have any strange phobias?: Windows is pretty odd. I won’t touch windows if it’s dark outside. I rarely want to touch them during the day. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: Both! 61: What was the last lie I told?: That I’m totally ready to book my driving test on the 20th February! 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: Talking on the phone 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?: I already answered this to hell the other day I’m lazy. So yes to aliens, unsure about ghosts. 64: Do I believe in magic?: Sadly, no 65: Do I believe in luck?: Strangely, yes 66: What’s the weather like right now?: It’s pissing it down. 67: What was the last book I’ve read?: Loving someone with bipolar disorder 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?: No 69: Do I have any nicknames?: Char, Charmander, Lottie 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?: I crashed my motorbike and sliced my knee right down to the bone. Took 6 hours of awake surgery and some of it was so bad that it couldn’t be stitched. 71: Do I spend money or save it?: Save when I’m well. Spend when I’m not. 72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?: Nope 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?: Nope 74: Favorite animal?: Snow leopards 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?: Sleeping! :3 76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?: Fuck knows 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?: Babycakes - 3 of a kind 78: How can you win my heart?: Say ‘Charlie.... will you walk 14 miles of the South West Coast Path with me today?’ or say ‘Charlie... will you tell me about your bipolar disorder and what I can do to help you?’ 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? To steal Spike Milligan’s grave; ‘I told you I was ill’ 80: What is my favorite word?: Probably ‘fuck’ 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr: I CAN’T NAME JUST 5 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?: You all suck. Be nice to other people. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail?: Not that I know of! 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: Hopefully the power to turn invisible whenever I want 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: I don’t know. I’m pretty shameless honestly. 86: What is my current desktop picture?: Yu--gi-oh Bakura-shipping 87: Had sex?: All the sex 88: Bought condoms?: Yup bcos safe sex is good and because my friends used to go ‘will you buy them for me? I’m too scared!’ 89: Gotten pregnant?: Thankfully, no 90: Failed a class?: Yup. Chemistry A-level. You only get one batch of materials for your exam and if you fuck up with them, you fail the exam automatically. I very cleverly tipped hydrochloric acid all over myself, my coat and my bag, and my seat, and the floor.... and I basically went ‘hm. Maybe Chemistry isn’t for me’ and dropped out. 91: Kissed a boy?: Yes 92: Kissed a girl?: Tes 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?: Yes. So overrated 94: Had job?: Yes, several 95: Left the house without my wallet?: Too many times 96: Bullied someone on the internet?: Yes, when I was very young I made some very careless and horrible remarks. Got in trouble. Never did it again. 97: Had sex in public?: When we say public, do you mean were we seen...? 98: Played on a sports team?: Only when made to at school 99: Smoked weed?: Yup 100: Did drugs?: See above 101: Smoked cigarettes?: Not unless they had other elicit substances in 102: Drank alcohol?: A lot 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?: Slowly going vegetarian, easier now I live alone. 104: Been overweight?: Yes 105: Been underweight?: No. Too much muscle to allow it. 106: Been to a wedding?: Yes. Two! 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: All the time XD 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?: Yup 109: Been outside my home country?: I went to Scotland once :P 110: Gotten my heart broken?: I don’t know about broken. I maybe broke my own heart once or twice I guess 111: Been to a professional sports game?: Yup. I was 6 and I fell asleep 112: Broken a bone?: Yap. Three fingers, a toe, and my wrist a couple times 113: Cut myself?: Way too much 114: Been to prom?: Nope. I skipped out on that 115: Been in airplane?: Nope 116: Fly by helicopter?: Sadly no 117: What concerts have I been to?: None. Too much noise 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?: Yep 119: Learned another language?: Partially 120: Wore make up?: Yap 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?: Yup, because that’s perfectly legal in the UK 122: Had oral sex?: Yup 123: Dyed my hair?: Loads 124: Voted in a presidential election?: Well, prime minister here, but yes 125: Rode in an ambulance?: 3 times last year alone. 126: Had a surgery?: Several when I was younger, and once last year. 127: Met someone famous?: CHRIS BARRIE FROM RED DWARF 128: Stalked someone on a social network?: So many people 129: Peed outside?: Not in the last 15 years or so 130: Been fishing?: No, thank god 131: Helped with charity?: I volunteer for one now! 132: Been rejected by a crush?: Yep. Lewis Spatcher, when I was 10 years old. Then Rebecca Haynes, 11 years old (then outed me as gay and I had the shit kicked out of me :’) ) 133: Broken a mirror?: Nope 134: What do I want for birthday?: Degus, and all the things I need to keep them