#Simon would probably hate dressing up but he’s also a gay so he might find some fun in it

[justfriendsbestthings]

Ok but now imagine the Valentines Ball for them in second year and/or third year where they can go ✨together✨ and dance and have fun ✨together✨.

[bazypitchandsimonsnow]

Games People Play

Rating: Teen

Genre: Fluff/Minor Angst

Word Count: 8343

Summary: Baz gets dragged to a party by Dev. Simon gets dragged to a party by Penelope. Hijinks ensue. Based on "spin the bottle" request.

Read on AO3

AN: Oy vey, this took longer than I wanted. Work keeps giving me the goddamn morning and closing shifts so I've been exhausted beyond belief. But now I'm down to four shifts a week so more writing time :D Shout out to @carryonmylovelies for being the best writing helper/encouragement this side of the cosmos. Love you hun <3 Hope you guys like this!

———————————————

Baz

“Baz,” Dev whines, draping himself all over my back like some annoying floppy blanket. “Please?”

“You being pathetic is certainly not going to change my mind,” I say, focusing intently on my own notes. We have finals in a week, dammit, and my cousin is more focused on this.

“But I need you there! To be my wingman!”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “What makes you think I would be a good wingman?”

“Okay, less of a wingman, more of a support.”

“And since when am I a good support either?”

Dev plops himself on my desk, pushing a pile of my perfectly stacked notes. I scowl deeply. Fucking hell, I’m going to strangle him, blood relation be damned.

“Please, Basil? I’ll get you a new bullet journal or something nerdy like that.” He flicks my stack of leather notebooks.

“Nice try, but no cigar, cousin.” I push my glasses further up my nose. “I have far too much studying to do.”

He groans and slumps further against the wall. “But Agatha is might be there! She’s finally single again after three bloody years. This could be my chance!”

I scoff. “Sure.”

Dev glares at me so hard his eyes become slits. “A man can dream.”

“A man can hallucinate, especially with the right help.”

He leans over, arching over my very important homework. “Y’know, I heard Simon is going to be there too.”

Oh. Fuck. I freeze up, heat rising to my face instantly. A grin spreads across Dev’s stupid face. Bloody hell, I wish I had never told him about my stupid crush. Him, Niall, and I were all drinking cheap beer and playing truth or dare. Apparently that beer was strong to get me to answer “who’s your biggest crush?” truthfully. It’s not something I’m proud of, crushing on my gorgeous idiot roommate. But it exists, and it makes me- he makes me very weak. Damn Dev for using it to his advantage.

“He hates parties,” I mumble.

“Yeah,” Dev leans closer, “but rumour has it, Penelope Bunce is dragging him there. Something about getting him to have fun since his breakup with Agatha. Maybe he could have fun with you.”

I immediately throw a notebook at his stupid face so I don’t have to see it. But it’s also to hide my stupid bright red cheeks. The rational part of my brain knows that’s a one in a billion shot. Snow hates me. He thinks I hate him. It can’t happen. But my lovesick side desperately wants to be hopeful. Maybe, just maybe...

“Fine,” I grumble.

Dev straightens up. “Huh?”

“Fine, I’ll go with you to the stupid party.”

Dev grins like a kid on Christmas. “Yay! Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Baz!”

He throws his arms around my neck, bringing most of his weight along with him. I push him off me before I’m strangled. “Yeah, yeah, you owe me, arsehole.”

“I thought Snow’s presence was your payment.”

“No. I expect five mint Aero bars by no later than next week.”

“Ugh, fine. Small price.” He jumps off my desk, then gives me one last squeezy hug. “You’re my favourite cousin.”

“That’s not saying much, considering your other cousins are my demon siblings.”

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Good point. Party starts at 8 in Fraternity basement. Meet me at my room at 7:45. Bring your game face and cologne. Maybe Snow will like the smell.”

He dashes off, but not before I chuck a pen at his stupid head. It just misses. Dammit. I sigh and hold my face, rubbing it up and down. What the fuck am I doing? This is idiotic. Snow hates my guts, I’ve made sure of that. I decided early on it was easier to just make him hate me from the start than confess my feelings and have him destroy my pathetic gay heart. Snow will always despise me. A party won’t change years of fights and snark and anger. No matter how much deep down I might want it to.

The door slams open, making me jolt. I don’t even need to look to know who it is.

“And a good afternoon to you too, Snow,” I say.

“Fuck off,” he growls like an animal. His uniform is in its usual disarray, tie loose and shirt rumpled. On anyone else I would call it sloppy. But on him, I find it ruggedly charming.

“Pleasant as always, I see.” I push up my glasses and turn back to my notebook, instead of looking at his stupid bronze curls and mesmerizing plain blue eyes.

“I don’t need your shit today, Baz.” I listen as he violently throws open his desk drawers. It sounds like a cabinet in a hurricane. Snow is always a force of nature, in both good and bad ways.

I sigh sarcastically. “Alright. Be as loud and pissy as you want, not like anyone else lives here. Don’t you have chemistry right now?”

He growls again and slams his drawer particularly loud. “Forgot my notes.”

“Ah, I see. Didn’t know you could take any.” The comment is out of my mouth before I can stop it. Sharp comments at Snow have become reflex at this point.

He gives the leg of my chair a good kick, rattling my whole body. I glare at him over my glasses, and he glares right back. Bloody hell, he’s so damn attractive. I look away before my face turns red. Luckily, Snow stomps away again, and I’m left in blissful peace.

Fucking hell, this party is going to be a nightmare.

———————————————

Dev

I’m putting the finishing touches on my amazing hair when I hear the knock.

“That Baz?” Niall asks me, voice all nasally from his clogged nose. He’s on his bed, reading some football magazine while surrounded by a mountain of tissues.

“Probably,” I reply. “He’s willing to go to the party with me.”

Niall scoffs but it comes out as a cough. “Sorry I have allergies.”

“Excuses, excuses.” I waltz over to the door. “Baz is my true friend.” I fling the door open, and my hands immediately drop. “Oh my god.”

Baz raises one eyebrow at me. “What?”

“What the ever loving fuck are you wearing?!”

Baz looks down at his perfectly pressed navy slacks, buttoned to the collar white shirt, and polished black oxfords. “Have you gone blind, cousin? It’s a shirt and slacks.”

I groan and shake my head. “I can see it’s shirts and slacks, Baz. Why are you wearing it?”

“Because it’s good party attire.”

“Mother of God, Basil, you- I just-” I groan again, grabbing his wrist to haul him inside. “Get in here, we have to fix you.”

“Fix me? But-”

“You’re not wearing a suit to a high school party, end of story.” I push him down onto my bed by his shoulders. “First off, this goes.”

I reach out and ruffle his slicked back hair. He smacks my hand away. “Hey!”

I shove a finger in his face. “No one under forty slicks back their hair. And if they do, they’re an arsehole.” I hand him my wide tooth comb. “Comb it out. Now.”

“Why?” Baz hisses.

“Because you don’t want Snow to mistake you for a tight arse banker, right?”

Baz keeps frowning, but starts combing it out anyway. Good. “Next, you’re not wearing these.”

I take his glasses off his face. Baz gapes and tries to snatch the spectacles out of my hand, but I’m too fast. “Dev! Give those back!”

“No! They make you look even more nerdy, and right now we’re making you look cool.”

“But I need them to see!”

“No, you don’t. You only need them to see stuff that’s super far away. This basement is not that big, you’ll be fine. Honestly, I think you wear these to look smart.”

Baz frowns, but he doesn’t protest. He knows I’m right. I nod and go to Niall’s dresser, sorting the messy piles on top that should be in the drawers.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Niall asks furiously, but I can’t take him seriously with that high pitched clogged nose voice.

“Baz is going to borrow some of your clothes.”

“Why not your’s?”

“I’m a head shorter than Baz. You two are the same height.”

Baz scowls. “I am not wearing Niall’s clothes. He dresses like a wannabe club cruiser.”

Niall leans over and punches Baz in the arm, hard. Baz growls and punches back with just as much force. Seriously, are they still five?

“No,” I say, “Niall dresses like a normal teenage boy. And tonight you’re going to pretend you’re one too.”

I throw more clothes onto the floor, until I finally find something good. I grin ear to ear. Yes, this is perfect. I turn around and toss the clothing right at Baz’s face, hitting him with a small whack. “There. Wear these.”

Baz takes them off his face and gives them a once over. He looks positively disgusted. “Absolutely not.”

“No bitching. Put them on or we’re not going and you don’t get to gaze longingly at Simon from across the room.”

He looks indignant, and I’m worried he’s going to punch me. But instead he just huffs and stomps to the door, heading to our communal washroom I suppose. I lean to the side to shout at his back. “And you’re wearing Niall’s sneakers! Not those bloody oxfords!”

He flips me off before slamming the door hard. I chuckle and flop back on my bed.

“What would he do without us?” I sigh.

“I think he’s considering finding out,” Niall replies, then sneezes loudly into a tissue. He slowly brings it away. The whole kleenex is covered in snot.

“You’re disgusting” I say.

“Fuck off,” he grumbles. “I hope Baz ends up killing you.”

I smirk, laying down on my crossed arms. Baz won’t kill me. I’m going to have my chance with Agatha, he’ll have his chance with Snow, and we’ll both be happy. Everything will be great.

———————————————

Simon

Everything sucks.

Why am I even here? I’m tired, I’m sweaty, I’m still getting over Agatha, and this party sucks. It’s just a bunch of my classmates in a dingy basement, totally pissed out of their minds, stumbling and bumping into each other. There’s not even any dancing. What’s a party without dancing?!

“I’m bored,” I groan, flopping against Penny, cheek pressed on her head. She sighs and pushes at my side.

“You’re bored because you refuse to leave this wall next to the snack table,” she replies. “Go mix and mingle, bloody well talk to someone other than me.”

“But everyone else doesn’t like me.”

“That’s not true, Si, lots of people like you.”

I scoff and cross my arms. Penny’s usually never wrong, but this time she is. People don’t like me, they’re fascinated by me; the weird orphan scholarship kid, the headmaster’s pet project. Only Penny and Agatha actually like me and know me. (Well, Agatha did like me.) And then there’s Baz, who just straight up hates me. Posh prick. Just because I wasn’t born with perfect hair and pretty eyes and a silver spoon shoved up my arse like him he thinks I’m lower than dirt. At least I don’t dress like a nerd. That’s one advantage I have over him, I guess.

“Are you going to leave any snacks for the rest of us?” Penny asks.

I look her in the eye as I shove a bunch of crisps in my mouth. “I’ve captured these crisps in the name of House Snow.”

Penny rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “I never should have introduced you to Game of Thrones.”

I smile wide, crisps filling my chipmunk cheeks. Penny laughs happily. Well, maybe being here isn’t too bad. I turn back to look out at the party, still grinning. But then my mouth immediately falls open, chip crumbs spilling on my shirt.

“Simon!” Penny yells. “What are you, five?!”

I dust the crumbs off my shirt, quickly chew and swallow, and point at exactly what I’m looking at. Or more precisely, who. “Penny, Penny, look. Tell me I’m not crazy, is that Baz?!”

Penny squints, pushing her glasses up her nose. I watch as her brown eyes go impossibly wide. “Holy shit, it is.”

“Holy shit,” I echo. Because...this is insane.

In the years I’ve known him, Baz has always dressed like a posh nerd. Uniform crisp and pristine, glasses down his nose like some snooty scholar, and raven hair gelled to oblivion. But tonight, he’s very different. For one, he’s not wearing his glasses, making his cheekbones look even sharper and deep sea grey eyes more visible. His hair isn’t gelled either. It falls in his face in a lazy wave. Most shocking of all, for the first time ever, he isn’t in businessman attire. He’s wearing a torso hugging charcoal grey v-neck, white trainers, and black skinny jeans. Since when does Baz wear black fucking skinny jeans?! And they’re like, really tight, showing off every toned muscle he’s gained from playing football. I can’t stop looking, holy shit.

“Simon? Hello? You still in there?” Penny is waving a hand in front of my face. I blink rapidly, snapping out of my jeans induced trance.

“Uh, yeah, Pen, I’m here. Oh my god, what is going on with Baz tonight?”

She shrugs, looking more like me than herself. “I don’t know. Maybe he’s decided to change up his style.”

“I seriously doubt that. He’s been wearing the same kind of clothes since we were all eleven, Pen.”

“People can change.”

“Not Baz.” I narrow my eyes, examining his strange outfit  with careful precision. “He’s plotting something.”

Penny sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose. “Simon, for the last time, Baz is not some vampire supervillain.”

I scoff, crossing my arms with a frown. “Says you. I just haven’t proven it yet.”

“Whatever, Si. How about you try to have fun tonight? That’s why we’re here, remember?”

I hear what Penny is saying, but I’m still watching Baz. He’s got his arms crossed, leaning on one foot, a frown on his face. But that last one could just be, y’know, him. Everything about his face is designed for pouting. Either way, he doesn’t look happy to be here, no more than me. He must not like that his plot isn’t working or something. I keep glaring at him as I shove M&M’s into my mouth.

“And you’re gone,” Penny sighs. “I do not get your issue with him.”

“You don’t live with him,” I grumble through my candy.

“No, but I feel like I know way too much about him because of you. Seriously you need to stop obsessing over him.”

Baz lifts a hand to tuck a piece of his raven hair behind his ear, showing off the pointy tip. I stroke my chin. What’s the purpose of that? Is he trying to distract me? Is he trying to pretend he’s all cute and innocent and not evil? Strange, very strange...

“Hey! We’re playing spin the bottle!” someone shouts. “Who wants in?”

I stay on my wall. I don’t have anything against spin the bottle, but I’m busy, and not really in the mood to kiss a few random classmates. Plus I haven’t seen Agatha yet, but she might not be here. I’d rather not run into her.

Suddenly, there’s a hand on my arm and someone is dragging me away. I look over at Penny, who has a determined expression on her face.

“Pen, where are we going?” I ask, fear filling my voice.

“You’re going to play spin the bottle.”

I inhale sharply. “What?! No way!”

“Yes way! You’re going to go have fun, dammit.”

“Is spin the bottle supposed to be fun? I thought it was just embarrassing.”

“I don’t know, I’ve never played. And I’m not going to play cause I’m in a serious relationship.”

“Great endorsement,” I mutter. I try to wriggle out of her grip, but it’s no use. She’s like a bloody pitbull. Eventually, she turns to face me, hand on her hip.

“Simon, you can’t mope and overthink about Baz against a wall the entire time. Just try this, see if you have fun. You haven’t had fun in ages. You can stop anytime, just try please.”

I sigh, body and ego deflating at once. “Fine, I’ll try.”

Penny smiles a bit. “Good.”

She lets go, but I keep walking towards the loose circle of tipsy British teens. I recognize most of them. Trixie, Keris, Rhys, Gareth, and Philippa. (Luckily no Agatha, that would be awkward.)

“Hey we’ll join!”

We all turn to the left. “Oh god,” I groan.

Baz glares at me as he sits next to Dev, crossing his arms over his chest. His eyes are deep sea grey daggers trying to stab me in the head. Why did he have to sit so close to me?! Luckily there’s a slightly drunk boy between us, wobbling back and forth even though he’s sitting. Hope he doesn’t get sick on any of us, especially if we’re supposed to be bloody kissing.

Oh fuck, what if I have to...no, no way. There’s very little chance that will happen. The universe can’t hate me that much.

Keris raises her hand. “I’ll go first.”

I lean my cheek on my palm. I really don’t care who goes, as long as it’s not me. Keris grabs the vodka bottle and gives it a good hard spin. I follow the spinning with my eyes, watching as the low orange light reflects off the glass. It’s kind of hypnotising, almost makes me want to sleep. Christ, I’m bored.

The bottle finally stops, and everyone either laughs or groans. It lands right on Trixie. I burst out in fits of giggles, clutching my stomach. Okay, maybe the universe sucks, but at least it has a sense of humour.

“You cheated!” Gareth declares.

Keris snorts and rolls her eyes. “Yeah, I can totally cheat at spinning a bottle, Gareth.”

“If there is you found a way!”

Keris shrugs. She turns to her left and kisses her girlfriend right on the mouth. The really drunk people whoop and cheer. Some of my more immature male classmates gasp or gape like fish. Penny just sighs behind me. This isn’t unusual for her. I’ve heard many rants from her about Trixie and Keris’ snogging in her room. This is probably mild for her.

The couple separates with a little pop. Both girls are grinning ear to ear. A few boys are still gaping, which is kind of gross. I glance over at Baz, to see if maybe he’s having any sort of reaction. But he’s still as stone faced as ever. He seems to be having even less fun than me. That’s one plus, I guess.

“My turn,” Trixie singsongs. She lays a delicate hand on the bottle and spins it. It lands a foot away from me, and for a second I think it landed on Baz. My heart rate jumps a beat. Holy shit, did that land on him? But when Dev raises his hand, I let out a long breath, feeling relieved for some reason.

“I don’t think you want to kiss me,” Dev chuckles, and everyone else chuckles along with him. Except Baz, because he’s a creature of darkness who is physically incapable of laughter.

“The cheek okay?” Trixie asks

Dev shrugs with a small smile. “I’ll take it.

Trixie leans forward on her knees and Dev follows. She plants a big wet kiss on his cheek. Rhys gives a sarcastic whoop and holler. Gareth gives his own over dramatic “oooooo” and pumps his fist. As she sits back, Trixie rolls her eyes, going back to slum;ing on Keris’ shoulder.

“You two are so mature,” she drawls.

Gareth and Rhys keep giggling and high five each other. I chuckle under my breath. It’s immature, but just a bit funny. Dev takes the bottle in hand and spins it hard. I’ve heard rumours he has a crush on Agatha, so whoever he gets he’ll probably be disappointed. I’m getting bored again, leaning on my hand. The bottle lands on Philippa. The cheering duo gets punched in the arm by Keris before they get out too many whoops or hollers.

Dev looks at the ground, scratching the back of his neck. “Uh, you wanna, Philippa?”

Philippa flicks her eyes over to me for a second. I’m not sure what she hopes to see. Honestly, I feel kinda bad for not being what she wants me to be for her. I look down, because I’m not sure what else to do.

“Sure,” Philippa replies.

I lift my head just enough to see what happens. Dev and Philippa crawl towards the centre of the circle. They both look very nervous, both lacking in experience or alcohol or probably both. He leans forward, eyes closed and lips pursed. She does the same and closes the distance. The kiss barely lasts half a second, but drunk people still cheer like it’s a Manchester FC game. Dev and Philippa scramble to their seats with bright red faces.

Philippa spins the bottle without saying anything. I’m barely following at this point. Pretty sure I’m going to leave after this and go stuff mint aero bars in my mouth. That’s the best breakup therapy in my opinion. I hope Baz hasn’t eaten my entire stash.

“Simon?” Penny taps my shoulder forcefully. “Simon, it landed on you.”

My head snaps up, only to see everyone staring at me, some looking very confused and concerned. I look down at the vodka bottle, the top pointing right at me. My eyes go wide. “Oh,” I squeak.

Philippa is blushing all the way down to her neck,with a small smile. She plays with the end of her hair. “Do you want to?” she asks.

I gulp, fiddling with my fingers. I’m nervous, but not really reluctant. Philippa is nice enough and I know she likes me. Maybe it’ll be nice, maybe I’ll feel something. What’s the harm?

“Uh, sure,” I say with a slightly forced smile.

Philippa’s smile gets a bit bigger. Fuck, am I leading her on? I don’t want to hurt her. This is a terrible idea, shit. She crawls forward, closing her eyes and sticking her face out. I shuffle towards her, squeeze my eyes shut, and kiss her.

It’s slightly longer than her kiss with Dev, but not by much. Long enough for me to realise her lips are smooth and smell like vanilla. Other than that I feel...nothing. It’s not that Philippa is bad. I just don’t feel a spark or anything close. I used to feel something with Agatha. Not a lot, but there was a stomach drop or a heart flutter at first. Not now. Part of me is scared I’ll never find anything like that again.

We separate, everyone is still making their obnoxious cheers. They’re laughing and smiling, so I try to smile back. The only person not so happy is, weirdly enough, Baz. He’s got his arms crossed and the corners of his mouth threaten to break out of his cheeks just so his scowl can get bigger. What’s got his knickers in a twist? Maybe he has a crush on Philippa. Well, pissing him off is a benefit I guess.

“Your turn, Simon,” Philippa says meekly, smiling and blushing at the ground.

“Um...” For a minute, I seriously consider standing up and running like the wind. But everyone is looking at me. I guess one more time couldn’t hurt. “Okay.”

I grab the bottle and give it a firm spin. But I guess I’m slightly on an angle, because it spins to the left like a wayward football. People scramble away to not get hit, giggling and clinging to their friends. I’m just focused on where it lands. The sooner it’s done, the sooner I can bow out gracefully and stuff my face with chocolate. It slows bit by bit, and finally, it stops. I snap my head up to see who it landed on. I’m met with a pair of panicked deep sea grey eyes.

Oh fuck.

Baz

That’s it, God hates me. There’s absolutely no question now. Of all the people he could’ve landed on, why did it have to be me?! This is an absolute disaster. Panic washes over my body like a nonstop tidal wave. Dev laughs and slaps me on the back, like this is some football goal at a match. I want to shout at him for being a numpty and run away to a very dark corner where I can just die.

But I’m frozen, staring at a gaping Simon Snow.

“Oh fuck,” a drunk guy slurs to his friend, trying to whisper but failing horribly, “don’t they like, hate each other?”

Snow’s face shifts from shock to a deep, deep scowl. He jumps to his feet. “Yeah, we do. So this is not happening.”

I manage to stifle my sigh of utter relief, but my silence is probably odd. So I cross my arms and stick my nose in the air. “Good. Like I would ever want to your chavy mouth on mine.”

Fuck, why did I add that last part? I hope I’m not blushing and giving myself away. Snow is turned around, ready to leave, but throws a fiery look at me over his shoulder. “Fuck off, Baz,” he snaps.

“Very eloquent, Snow. Forgot to mention your mouth is stupid too.” Except it’s not stupid. It’s full and soft looking and fucking beautiful, and I wish he wanted to kiss me with it.

Snow balls his fist and looms over me. “Well, your mouth is naturally made for frowning.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh, very nice. Your’s can’t form proper sentences.”

“At least I’m not spouting shit all the time!”

“Either follow the rules of the game or leave, Snow.”

Bunce rubs her nose under her glasses. “Simon, let’s just go.”

She takes his arm but he doesn’t listen to her for once, shaking her off and menacing over me more. “Oh, you want me to kiss you, Basilton?”

Oh fuck fuck fuck, what is wrong with me?! I didn’t drink anything. I think I’ve just lost my goddamn mind. I need to get out of here before I burst into flames from pure embarrassment.

I stand up, brushing off these ridiculous jeans. “Of course not. I would rather go back to our room than have my lips torn up by your dry ones.”

Simon growls like a caged animal. And it should not make me as excited as it does. “My lips are not dry.”

“Guys,” Gareth says slowly, “maybe you should just-”

“The constant bleeding and scabs would disagree.” Leave Snow, for the love of God, just storm off with Bunce, please.

“Oh yeah?” Snow leans forward over the drunk boy in between us. “Well, I bet if I kissed you, you would like it, arsehole.”

If I wasn’t blushing before, I certainly am now. I am literally going to explode on the spot any minute. I scoff and look away.

“Like hell I would.” Yes, I would, and it would be awful.

“Fuck you, you would!”

“Never!” I snap, digging my nails into my arm.

Snow growls once again. “I bet my goddamn sword history book you would!”

He’s leaning closer now, close enough I can smell his cheap soap. It makes my pulse quicken terribly, like the thump of a rabbit’s foot. “It would be easy winnings.”

“Says you!”

“Yes, and I’m right!”

“No you’re not!”

“I am!”

“Why don’t I prove it, huh?!”

“Fine, go ahead!”

I don’t even have time to process what I said. Because Simon Snow immediately grabs my collar and kisses me.

Holy fuck.

Simon

I just want to prove I’m right, and stop his stupid mouth. I hate when he throws insults at me. And now it seems for once I’ve actually shut him up. We’re both frozen in place, me shoving my mouth on his. I faintly hear everyone gasp around us. But I’m too focused on kissing Baz. Oh my fucking god, I’m kissing Baz!

He’s just standing like a statue while I hold his collar with a death grip and squeeze my eyes shut. He’s really not moving at all, not even a twitch. Is he surprised? That would make sense. Scared? I won’t hurt him, not right now. It’s just a kiss.

Baz’s lips are colder than Agatha’s. Softer too. Like silk sheets on a chilly night. It feels kind of nice, actually. When his top lip slightly slips between mine, I swear to god, my brain short circuits. Scratch kind of, this feels really nice. Sensation spreads from my mouth through my whole body. Why does this feel so much better than when I kissed Philippa? Or even better than Agatha? This is so confusing and amazing my brain is about to explode.

I don’t even know how long we spend with our lips pressed together. I tilt my head to the side a bit, just for a change of pace. And even though it’s crazy, I swear, for a moment Baz relaxes and pushes his mouth forward. Pushing his mouth closer to mine. Oh my god. Is...is Baz kissing me back? It feels so much better.

My hands slide around to the back of his neck, and Baz’s hair is soft of course. I think about grabbing it, but Baz suddenly pushes me away. It happens so out of the blue I stumble back in shock. I expect him to be angry, to punch me in the face or at least shout until he’s blue in the face. But Baz, he looks, scared. What’s there to be scared of? His eyes frantically dart around, chest heaving, until he looks back at me. I’ve never seen someone so frightened in my entire life.

Baz turns and bolts away, slamming the door behind him.

The entire room is silent for a long, awkward moment. You could hear a bloody pin drop it’s so quiet. I’m frozen, mouth hanging open. I can’t even process what just happened. So many things are going through my head right now, turning into a mushy goop of mismatched ideas and fears. I look at Penny.

“Pen, I- what just- I...” I can’t form words. My mouth and tongue feel so unbelievably useless, even more so than usual.

“Simon-” she starts. But before I hear what she says, I’m off running. I don’t know why I’m doing it, but I have to follow Baz. I just have to.

———————————————

It takes me way, way too long to find him. I search all throughout the Fraternity before I remember just how bloody dramatic Baz is. He wouldn’t hide away in the building, he’d go to where he always goes when he’s upset. Not his room or an alcove like a normal person. The Wavering Wood.

I run across the great lawn, wind whistling in my ears. The trees get larger and larger until I finally reach the edge. It’s dark out, so I have to navigate mostly by my other senses. I feel rough bark, sink into on wet dirt, hear the leaves crunch beneath my boots. I squint, trying to see in the darkness. And when I catch a glimpse of black shining in the moonlight, I dash towards it.

Baz is sitting under a tree, legs pulled up to his chest, face buried in his knees. Raven hair fans around him. I watch his back heave and shudder. Fuck. I don’t think he’s okay.

Slowly, I walk towards him, careful not to make too much noise. I don’t want to spook him, no more than he already is. But of course I step on a fucking branch, the snap ringing through the whole goddamn woods. Baz’s head bolts up. His eyes are wide and scared like a deer caught in the headlights. Tear streaks stain his cheeks. We keep staring at each other, until Baz looks back at the ground.

“What do you want, Snow?” he asks. He’s trying to be intimidating, but his voice is too strained to scare me.

“I, uh...” Fuck, what do I want? Why am I here? I’m not Baz’s friend. Quite the opposite, really. Yet it hurts to see him like this, so I start walking towards him, fiddling with my belt hole loops. “I wanted to see how you were doing. You um, ran out of there pretty fast...”

He snorts unkindly. “That wasn’t an invitation for you to follow, Snow.”

I groan, rolling my head back. “Man, I’m actually trying to be nice, there’s no need to be an arsehole.”

“Since when do you care about me?”

I shrug as I sit down on the grassy ground. I’m cross legged, facing Baz and his dagger stare. “You looked scared back the party, and then I see you here crying. I’d be worried no matter who you were.”

He rolls his eyes incredibly dramatically. “Of course, Mr. Hero. Any kittens that need to be saved from trees? Probably more pertinent than me.”

“You’re the one crying in the woods, so I think you take top priority.”

Baz tries to wipe away the tear marks, but they stay the same. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, you’re obviously upset.”

“No matter what, it’s none of your business.”

I look down at the ground, playing with my shoelace. I know what I want to mean, but I’m not sure how to get the words right. Everything I’m considering seems dumb. Baz will throw anything stupid back in my face. Actually, stupid or not, he’ll throw it back. Might as well just go for it.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt out. I flick my eyes up, and Baz is gaping at me, his eyebrows are all scrunched together.

“You’re...sorry?” he says, genuinely confused for the first time in his life.

I rub the back of my neck. “Y-Yeah, I’m just, really sorry.”

“For what?”

What the hell does he mean? What else could I be talking about? I look right at him. “For like...kissing you when you didn’t want it. It was stupid and impulsive and really rude to you. You should never kiss anyone when they don’t want it. So I’m really sorry.”

“You...think I didn’t want you to kiss me?”

“Um, yeah. I thought you said I could, but then you ran out of there pretty fast afterwards. So I’m just super sorry, Baz.”

There’s a long stretch of silence, only filled by wind whistling through the branches. I keep looking at the ground. I’m not sure what Baz’s expression, and I’m not sure I want to see. I hope he’s forgiven me. I honestly don’t know what to do if he doesn’t.

“Thank you, for the apology,” he says slowly. “But you don’t have to feel bad.”

My head snaps up. Baz is looking away now. And in the pale moonlight, I can see a faint blush going all the way to his ears. I’m not worried anymore, just unbelievably confused. “W-What do you mean?”

Baz plays with the hem of his shirt. “I mean, I’m not upset that you kissed me without my permission, because you had it. I did say you could. We both made an impulsive decision.”

“Then why did you run off so fast?”

He twists the hem so hard I’m afraid he’s going to tear it. “Because, it’s just embarrassing to have your first kiss in front of your entire class, no matter who it is.”

My eyes go impossibly huge. I swear they become bigger than the moon. Holy fucking shit. “That back there was your first kiss?”

His blush gets worse, spreading down to his neck. Baz has always been so cool and calm. I’ve never seen him like this before. It’s strange, but kind of makes him seem more human in a way. He nods slowly.

“Oh,” I squeak. I inch closer, trying to comfort him, before remembering that I’m the last person Baz wants comfort from. Especially after I embarrassed him. God, I feel like a prat. “I-I’m still sorry then. I didn’t mean to take that away from you.”

“Stop saying sorry, Snow,” he sighs. “It’s really fine.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I was okay with it, because I li-” His lips press together before he says anything else. He plays with a loose strand of his hair, looking nervous and shy, still blushing so hard his entire face is red. The gears start turning in my head. I’m not as oblivious as everyone thinks I am. I can see things, they can just take a bit longer. And I think I see something very big now.

“Wait,” I say slowly, “do you...like me?”

Baz bites hard on his bottom lip and clenches his fists. A few more tears fall down his cheeks, but he doesn’t wipe them away, not even acknowledging they exist. My mouth drops open.

“For how long? Have you, uh, felt like that?”

He finally looks at me, his eyes wet and vulnerable. I’ve never seen him like this before, not ever. He doesn’t look like a villain, or a bully, or even an arsehole. He just looks like...a boy.

“A long time,” he whispers harshly, like he’s forcing the words off his tongue. “Almost since we met.”

And I thought I was done with surprises for the night. My heart is beating twofold, but I’m not sure with what emotion. Everything is so jumbled and twisted up right now. “O-Oh. Really?”

Baz rolls his eyes, though he looks more annoyed than genuinely angry. “Yes, really. You think I would make that up?”

“I don’t know! I’m not sure I know anything about you anymore...” I nervously scratch at the back of my wrist until the skin turns red. Nothing is processing, nothing makes sense. And one question pops up immediately. “If you feel that way, why have you always been such a wanker?”

Baz lets out a small snorty laugh, and immediately covers his mouth. But it’s kind of adorable. And I kind of want to hear it again. “Very well put question, Snow.”

“Are you gonna answer it or keep being a wanker?” I’m not angry, just tired really.

“Fine,” he sighs. He goes back to twisting his hair and shirt, chewing on the corner of his pouty lip. “I was a wanker because it was easier.”

“Easier?”

His face lowers even more, nearly behind his knees. “Easier for you to hate me, than for me to confess my stupid feelings and innevitably have you break my heart.”

I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut, almost offended that he thought I would be so cruel. But Baz looks even more hurt. I think that his feelings matter more right now. “Oh. Okay. You thought I would really hurt you?”

“You were straight as an arrow and already madly in love with Wellbelove when we were 11.” He traces the dirt with his toe, scuffing the pretty white trainer. “You would’ve hurt me even if you didn’t mean to.”

“Oh,” I squeak.

Baz scoffs with the corner of his mouth pulled up. “That’s your favourite sound tonight, Snow.”

I let out a sort of scoffing chuckle. He’s an arse, but funny. I’ve never noticed how funny he can be in his own biting way before. “Well, you keep dropping bombshells, it’s perfectly reasonable. Honestly you’re lucky I’m not exploding everywhere.”

He laughs, still small, but doesn’t cover his mouth. He doesn’t hide. “Yes, well, cleaning up bits of you off the forest floor wouldn’t be my favourite activity. It would be more fun than your snoring though.”

“I don’t snore!”

“Yes you do, I would know. You’re like an adorable little fog horn.”

We both laugh, starting small and getting louder and louder. Baz even begins to giggle, fucking giggle. He sounds like a thousand little silver bells. I shouldn’t be laughing. Usually I would be offended by his jabs. I’d yell and scream at him for being a dick. But he’s laughing, smiling, all with a playful glint in his deep grey eyes. I wonder, is this what Baz is really like? When he isn’t trying to make me hate him?

“I like this,” I blurt out. Baz stops laughing immediately. A confused furrow forms between his brows.

“Like what?” he asks cautiously.

“This, right now, what we’re doing. Being nice and honest.” I shuffle closer, knees nearly touching his. “I like this better than fighting.”

Baz’s pouty lips fall open slightly, just barely half an inch, and his eyebrows raise. I think that’s Baz’s equivalent of completely, utterly shocked. “Seriously?”

I grin as wide as I can. “Yeah, seriously. Do you, uh, like it too?”

I expect Baz to smile, to laugh, to be happy. But instead he looks scared. Even his hands are shaking. I reach forward, but Baz pulls away, wrapping his arms around himself. Another tear falls down his face but he quickly wipes it away.

“Why were you crying?” I ask quickly. “Was it just like, embarrassment?”

Baz slowly shakes his head, more black hair falling in his face in a lazy wave. “N-No, it’s just...this can’t be happening.”

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t stopped hating me, that can’t change.”

His voice is so small and scared. I blink rapidly, tilting my head to the side. “Why not?”

He scoffs and shakes his head, staring at his own lap. “Because I’ve made your life hell for years! Because one stupid kiss and a few laughs can’t change things after so long.”

I move even closer. I can see every crevice in his face the moonlight hits, every sign of his tears. Oh. I think I get it, sorta. I kissed him, and Baz wanted it, but he was sad because he was sure it would never happen again. That’s a reasonable conclusion. At least, it was.

“Maybe it can’t change everything right away. But,” I reach forward and touch his wrist, just lightly, and when he doesn’t move away I stay there, “we could try, y’know. To change things.”

He doesn’t look up, but his brows wrinkle together again, and I find it unbearably adorable. “What are you saying, Snow?”

“I’m saying I want to be your boyfriend.” I say quickly before I lose my nerve. “I mean, I’m not a very great boyfriend, if my last relationship is any clue. But if you want this, I want this.”

I stare at the ground, too nervous to look at Baz’s face. I don’t let go of his wrist though, and he doesn’t move away, but it’s still silent again. Every passing second makes my anxiety build up and up like a shaken soda about to blow. Will he run away? He ran away before. I don’t want him to go, not again. I don’t want to lose him. (Fuck, that’s dramatic.)

“You’re an idiot,” Baz sighs, and it makes my breath hitch. “But you can have...this, if you want.”

My head snaps up so fast my neck hurts. Baz is finally looking at me, eyes soft and open. I’ve never seen him like that before. A grin spreads across my face. I probably look stupid but I couldn’t care less.

“I do,” I say, “I really do.”

He smiles softly. Slowly, he turns his hand around and fully holds mine. His skin is colder than most people’s and strangely rough for someone so posh. His calluses scratch perfectly against mine. It feels incredible, somehow so much better than holding anyone else’s hand. Just like that kiss.

“Hey, uh,” I nervously run my thumb over his tepid skin, “can I, um, maybe...kiss you again? Like in a nicer way?”

Baz chuckles, squeezing my hand. “Yes, you lovely moron, you may. If we’re going to date, you need to fix your gram-”

I get up on my knees and shut his cute smartarse mouth by pressing mine against it.

Baz

Bloody hell, I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. Because for the second time in one night, Simon Snow is kissing me. And this time he really wants to, because he likes me, because he wants to be my boyfriend.

It’s not forceful or angry like before, just firm enough to get me to stop mocking him. I freeze for a moment, the shock hitting me like a truck. But slowly, bit by bit, I let myself melt into it. Snow tilts his head to the side, so I do too, letting our lips slip together. Simon does this thing with his chin that drives me insane. At first I try to mimic exactly what he does, shoving back with my body and mouth, but I quickly realise I have zero idea what I’m doing. For once, Snow is the expert. So I let myself relax, giving up control for the first time in my life. Snow pushes me against the tree and places a hand on the side of my face. He delicately runs his thumb over my cheekbone, like I’m something good, something precious to him. Is this a fucking dream?

His hand moves farther back. Calloused fingers slip through my hair as his tongue slips between my lips. It’s warm and wet and the best thing I’ve ever felt in my entire miserable life.

“Baz,” he sighs quietly between our mouths.

No, this isn’t a dream. My imagination has never been this perfect.

I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him flush against me. “Simon,” I groan. He kisses me harder, clenching a fist in my hair to better shove our faces together. Suddenly my breath feels short, and I push lightly at Simon’s chest. He moves away instantly.

“Sorry,” he says. He’s out of breath, unsurprisingly. I am too.

“No it’s okay, just,” I sigh and run my hands up his sides, “this is quite a lot for a second kiss. I just need a breather.

Simon giggles quietly. He falls forward, tapping his forehead against mine. I press my hands into his back, feeling the muscles through his shirt. We stay like that for awhile. I don’t mind. I would stay with Simon in my arms forever if I could.

“Hey,” he whispers, eyes still closed and leaning against me, “I’ve got a question.”

“Is it a sensical question?”

He pinches the back of my neck, just lightly. Not enough to hurt but enough to make his annoyance clear. “Yes, arsehole. Why were you at the party? You hate parties.”

“So do you.”

“Penny dragged me to it to have mandatory fun. So what’s your reason?”

I chuckle quietly. “Funny enough, Dev begged me to come with him because he wanted support for when he hit on your ex-girlfriend.”

Snow reels back, eyes wide and mouth falling open. “Seriously?!”

“M-hm.”

“But Agatha didn’t even come!”

“Yup. So it looks like I’ve had far more romantic success tonight than my cousin.”

Snow snorts out an adorable laugh. His hand trails forward across my jawline. It leaves sparks of sensation on my skin. He plays with a piece of loose hair in front of my face. “Y’know, I like your hair like this. You should leave it loose more often. Save some money on hair gel.”

I chuckle again, and Snow follows. Soon it turns into a loud laughter from both of us. I’ve never laughed more in my life than I have tonight. Once I calm down, I look up at him, smiling brightly. “M-hm. And you’re someone to take fashion advice from?”

A small part of me worries Snow is going to scowl and yell at me for being a prick. But instead he smiles too and rolls his eyes. I let out a small breath of relief. Everything is different now, and I love it so much more.

“Yeah, well, I know a good thing when I see it.” His hands goes lower, trailing over the soft v-neck. “Like this shirt. It fits you well.”

“Really?” I croon, trying to hide the fact that I’m exploding inside.

“Uh-huh. And these jeans. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw you in them.”

I grin so much my cheeks happily ache. “Well, I’ll let Niall know you like his clothes.”

His mouth drops open. “This is Niall’s stuff?!”

I cock an eyebrow. “You think I own clothes like this?”

“Well, no. But I, uh, kind of wish you did. You should definitely buy more jeans...”

His cheeks are cherry red. I’m pretty sure mine are too. I hold his waist tighter, tilting my head up towards his. “I’ll be sure to get some on my next trip into town.”

He smiles again, looking like a ray of sunshine. “Can I come with?”

God, he’s like an adorable little puppy. “I don’t see why not, Snow.”

He leans forward and brushes our noses together. “You called me Simon before.”

“No I didn’t,” I singsong.

Snow pushes even closer to me, warm lips against my ear. “I like it,” he whispers. “I like it when you call me Simon.”

How have I not melted into the forest floor yet? I don’t feel like a real person anymore. Just the remnants of a pathetic gay teenager who’s melted into a puddle after having all his dreams come true in a single night. I hold him tighter. Because I’m not letting him go anytime soon.

“Simon,” I sigh, just before I turn my head and kiss him softly. He reciprocates immediately, and I’m in absolute euphoria. I know we have to move eventually but I don’t want to anytime soon.

“Best spin the bottle game ever,” Simon giggles.

“Damn right,” I whisper, just before pulling him back into a searing kiss.

My god, I’m living a charmed life.

———————————————

AN: Main worry with this fic: I feel like things move too quickly, but at the same time I didn't want to drag it out. Like we all know what's going to happen, best not to beat around the bush lol. Either way, this has flaws like anything I write, but I still like it. I thoroughly enjoyed writing Simon's reaction to Baz in tshirt and jeans lol. Hope you peeps liked it too, see you next fic :)

[captain-aralias]

Worse ways of writing a sex scene - Hang the Moon deleted scenes

as usual, after writing something, i have a doc with a bunch of stuff that i wrote and then deleted because i thought it wasn’t working, but i liked it enough that i thought... maybe i will regret my decision to delete this and want to either put it back extant or refer back to it. 

it’s a random collection of stuff - not the best ideas i had but didn’t use unfortunately. because to end up in the doc, i have to have written whatever it is and remembered to copy and paste it, rather than just deleting it. 

as usual - i thought i might as well put it on the internet as not, although the real version is better. 

from the recently completed ‘hang the moon’ / ‘the sky isn’t black anymore’ pair - apparently i have:

- one real deleted scene, and some tiny snatches of conversation from ‘hang the moon’ (and that’s it, really - apart from some scenes i thought i would delete, but then put back in)

- some baz thoughts, and three-ish attempts at writing baz trying to explain gay sex to simon. which i clearly absolutely hated writing. 

when baz says “It’s just – the Simon in my imagination knew how to do this too. Without prompting” that’s my literal pain on the page.

----

Hang the Moon:

Chapter 2 - 

(barely a real deleted scene as it still basically happens this way - but i show it to you because you can see baz doesn’t start the chapter in jeans in this draft - i went back and forth on it. then i thought, he might as well go away and get changed when he gets too embarrassed at breakfast, plus we get the trad jeans moment. also in this draft mordelia is fiestier. EVEN fiestier) 

“You should – tell him that,” I say when I can breathe enough to get the words out. “Please.”

“All right,” Mordelia says. She hops off the bed, like she’s going to do it now, and heads for the door.

“I didn’t mean it,” I shout after her (I don’t want Baz to murder his sister in front of me), but it’s too late. She’s already yanked the door open and Baz is actually there, standing outside. He’s dressed for tennis, I think, even though the court is being used. White shirt and shorts.

He steps back, confused. He must have been about to knock.

“Mordelia. What are you doing in Snow’s room?”

“Mum sent us to get the Chosen One for breakfast.”

It’s the first I’ve heard of it, but I’m definitely excited to try breakfast in this house. It must go on for hours. “I should probably get up then.”

--

Chapter 3 - 

(This is the real deleted scene. It’s an alternate version of the scene between Baz and Simon after they finish talking to Fiona. i’m pretty sure it comes after this exchange, or maybe a slightly different version of essentially this exchange: 

“All magicians like me,” I say, because it’s true. My magic means that I’ve never had to try to make friends at Watford. “You’re basically the only one who doesn’t.”

Baz huffs. “Well. None of the others have to live with you.”

I deleted what you’re about to read because although Simon getting upset is good for showing he loves Baz, it’s the wrong mood. so instead simon is aggressively good-humoured about it and baz is like - argh, i love him. you can see i kept some of this in the version as written with simon reflecting on where baz will live after watford in the privacy of his own head before he coincidentally finds out the answer on a shopping trip.)

That pisses me off, even though it’s not exactly a surprise that he thinks this. I know I’m a terrible roommate, much worse than Baz. Objectively. (He doesn’t try and kill me when I’m in my room so I don’t think I can count it against him). I leave my stuff around and I snore (apparently) and I leave the window open even though I know Baz gets cold easily.  

“I suppose you must be looking forward to eighth year being over,” I say as he hits the bottom of the staircase. “You’ll finally be rid of me.”

Baz stops and turns back towards me. I’m still a few stairs away from the bottom, which means I’m taller than him but it’s still like Baz is looking down on me.

“Simon,” he says, like I really am exceptionally thick. “We’re getting married.”

“Yeah,” I say. “But not really. It’s not like you have to live with me, if you don’t want to.”

--

Chapter 4 - 

(A few extra lines here - although you can also tell from the tense-choice that this was literally going to be the end of the ‘simon snow hung the moon’ scene - then i shifted it into the next section and shoved it into a flashback, which is a good trick for when you really love a piece of dialogue but it’s going to require you to write more than you want to to get to it/when it ends the scene at the wrong point)

“I’ve got a theory that your family uses insults to disguise affection.”

“That’s because you’re an idiot.”

“It’s all right, Baz,” I say. “I know that means I’m amazing and you can’t wait to be my husband.”

“I can wait,” Baz says. “It’s only eight hours.”  

---

that’s all i’ve got for ‘hang the moon’. sorry. 

---

The sky isn’t black anymore

(fuck knows what baz is talking about in this snippet - WHAT IS THE TRUTH?? i don’t know.  i think it’s from the stripping scene. but it might not be. i almost put something like this back in, but in the end, i couldn’t be bothered.) 

It’s the truth. Living with Simon for seven years has required an extraordinary amount of willpower on my behalf. And this week has been a kind of blissful torture. Since the day my father told me the Old Families were looking to marry one of our own the Mage’s Heir, I’ve been in agony.

It had to be me, that was obvious. And then he arrived, in that suit – I’ve never seen Simon in a suit before, one that was made for him

I can only hope it’s been even half as bad for him; I know it wasn’t. He didn’t even know he fancied me, he didn’t even know he was gay. But this seems to be torturing

---

OK, here we go. time to try and write this scene. 

I squeeze some into his hand.

“Start with your fingers – or, actually, one finger. Work up to three.”

“You’ve never done this before, have you?” Simon asks as I slide down the bed and end up on my stomach. I can’t work out if he sounds jealous. Or if I’d even want him to be. (He doesn’t have to be jealous. There’s never been anyone else. There could never be.)

“Not with anyone else.”

“Right,” Simon says. (He doesn’t question that statement, thank magic – I’m not feeling so honest I want to tell him about my masturbation habits.) “But you know you have to be on your front.”

“It’s easier. Apparently.”

“Yeah, but it means I can’t look at you,” Simon says. “Which you know I want to do.”

That’s true – he has been unerringly consistent on that point.

I turn over onto my back and Simon rewards me by pushing his tongue into my mouth. One of his hands is wet with lubricant and he’s holding it above me

--

(and again) (i like the phrase ‘without sounding like a complete pillock’ - classic british 90s slang. might bring it back later in something else)

“I’ll let you know when it’s enough. Then––”

I can’t work out how to say, then slick your cock up and shove it into me – vigorously – without sounding like a complete pillock. So instead I just do what I should have done earlier, what I haven’t been doing or even thinking about, because I didn’t want to frighten him with how much I wanted it. I slide my lubed hand down his cock, all the way to the base, before drawing it back up.  

It should just have been a demonstration. One quick stroke, but Simon closes his hand around mine before I can let go – and I don’t want to let go. So I don’

--

(and again) 

“Fingers first,” I tell him. My voice is shaking again, even though he isn’t touching me. He should be touching me.

I take his hand and draw it down my body as I roll onto my stomach. He lets me do it. I feel his slick fingers start to trace a line down the cleft of my arse. Fuck, this is happening.

Is it? He still isn’t quite there.

“Start with one,” I prompt.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Simon says.

“You won’t.”

I hear a soft snort from above me.

“All right,” I concede. “I’ll tell you if you hurt me.”

--

(and we’re done with that! this next bit is from slightly later in the sex scene. this is where baz has just come but is still getting off on simon’s magic. at this point i thought i was going to teleport baz out to the pond with simon, so he needed his wand with him so he could get back in. i went back and added loads of ‘where is baz’s wand’ into the narrative to get us to this point - and then i was just like, this is too unrealistic, and it’s also more dramatic if baz doesn’t go, so all of that was wasted)

I’m running one of my hands over his back and feeling for my wand in the other. I don’t know what I think I’m going to do with it. I don’t know any spells about gay sex (there aren’t in my library), but there’s much magic here it feels a waste not to cast something. Something showy. Something Simon will like. Something––

--

that’s all i saved. although i definitely wrote a bit for simon at the end where he says something like ‘If we see your dad, I’m not waiting. Just run’. which i thought was funny - but again, wrong mood. so you just get a glance towards it in baz’s POV about simon being wrapped in the blanket. 

the fic was also going to end with ‘on love’s light wings’, although i never wrote it. i don’t know how obvious that is now i told you my trick about putting stuff you like but don’t want to lose into flashbacks. like baz, i love the image of baz carrying simon up to the window, and another major spell that only works if you’re really in love. i would have tried to bring it back thematically by having simon grumble about how he could have cast it and carried baz, if he’d had his wand.... or something like ‘give me a year, i can cast that’. or even just having baz think it was ok to tell simon he loved him - but i didn’t think that was giving us anything new i hadn’t already told you. so - it gets cut. 

is ‘let’s go back to bed’ a weak final line? i think it sort of is, because it’s just about leaving a room, which was my go-to ending for a long time. but i thought it worked because the whole fic is about sex and being in bed, and it starts with baz being in bed. anyway - once i wrote it, i wrote a few more lines for simon ...... and then deleted them, because ‘let’s go back to bed’ felt like the ending. 

[kinkymagnus]

Do you have any headcanons about Magnus crossdressing? (Although I hate this term because clothes don't have a gender)

LET MAGNUS BANE WEAR A SKIRT.

and a dress. and lacy lingerie. and pretty “traditionally feminine” things. 

he already does have a more traditionally feminine style sometimes–particularly season one, with the open and silky flowy colorful shirts. and his makeup. and it suits him. 

but seeing him properly in like fishnets or a dress… ldfkgjkgfdhj

(also, i totally get you on clothes not having a gender. i mean, i’m a trans dude but i do like skirts/dresses sometimes? which can have some. self-esteem issues. but like. my point being a guy can like skirts/dresses and all that and not be less manly. and skirts/dresses/makeup don’t have to be “a girl thing”.)

but REALLY magnus in traditionally feminine clothing would be so good. i would pay to see magnus in a skirt, okay?

(not to mention the part of me that hardcore likes trans or nonbinary magnus is screaming at the idea of nonbinary!magnus in a skirt, ok.) 

but ok okok ok ok oko kok oko kok spECIFICALLY. you asked for headcanons. so let’s do that. ok

magnus “crossdressing” headcanons under the cut: 

magnus generally likes a more androgynous fashion: not super “masculine” (like, idk, dirty overalls or jeans or whatever is considered “manly”, or like even plain but nice/sharp suits and stuff) but definitely not super “feminine” either (like dresses). he tends to go for the happy middle ground. HOWEVER

that doesn’t mean magnus doesn’t like either/or. and honestly, tho he might not admit it easily, he prefers some more feminine clothing. 

dresses are super flowy and nice, and he’s got great legs so

also because i project myself onto characters i like and relate to: for magnus, how the fabric feels is one of the most important parts of an item of clothing.

it doesn’t matter how nice the dress is, if it doesn’t feel good against his skin or at the very least feels comfortable, he won’t wear it.

and that kind of applies vice versa–while he has standards as to what he’ll wear in public, he 100 percent has some dresses/skirts/shirts/robes/whatever that are kind of frumpy or just look okay but are made of the SOFTEST fabric, with just the right amount of like, heft to it, and feel so nice against his skin.

anYWAY. magnus likes all sorts of dresses (i know i keep going back to dresses and that’s not all crossdressing is but look i love dresses despite being a dude so i’m gonna project ok?) but like. there’s different Moods. there’s “this is a nice dress and i feel Powerful in it” and “this is a fancy as fuck dress, look at it, it’s a ballgown, it’s heavy and swooshy, i can spin” there’s “this is light and breezy on the bits, feels nice, comfy” and “this is like a cosplay dress, i look bomb as fuck even tho i can’t wear it forever because it’s heavy and complicated” and “this is nice, i just feel a little more feminine today and it it looks good on me but it’s not uncomfortable” 

magnus looks good in red and gold as well as blue and purple ok

magnus in a skirt. magnuS IN A SKIRT. androgynous fashion is great. magnus in a more masculine but kinda open shirt, maybe even a button up, and a simple black skirt (not tiny but not long either), maybe fishnets because fishnets look so good and make you feel good wearing them ok and he looks SO GOOD. long legs mostly showing off, draped over the arm of a chair as he’s just like lounging sideways in it and alec is like HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK GOOD 

magnus. in a crop top. not inherently feminine by any means but still. this could mean a more masculine one or a blatantly feminine one. either way he looks good. 

piercings!!! earrings. sometimes simple and subtle ones like little black beads, other times more elaborate/obvious. hoop earrings, or dangly pretty ones. whatever goes with his outfit and his mood.

magnus in lacy underwear and lingerie will always be my jam okay

he looks so good with silky/lacy underwear ok

magnus casually defying gender roles is my life

i would think that over his centuries of living he’s like. gotten more and more bold as the years went by?

this next part works better if you fly with this ‘magnus is lowkey nonbinary’ headcanon but it works for not that too

actually fuck it this is trans nonbinary man magnus now.

(nonbinary man = someone who identifies more as masculine and a man, likes he/him pronouns and they/them pronouns, etc. but is also not quite a man and like, kinda in between gender wise? nonbinary but leaning masculine? possibly me, i’m still figuring it out. but anyway.)

(also i have a lot of feelings about magnus and they/them pronouns but for the purposes of this post i’ll stick with he/him)

he started off like. when he realized who he was and was like, transitioning and stuff. he dressed super masculine, trying to like, compensate, you know?

he felt guilty that he still likes some “girly” things because it’s like how do you know you’re really a man if you like girly things? are you faking it? (spoiler alert he’s not there’s nothing wrong with a trans man liking “feminine” things, nor a nonbinary person) 

anyway eventually he got more comfortable with exploring a little–some “guyliner”, maybe plain or darker colored nail polish, kohl. subtle stuff at first

he got bolder with encouragement from his friends, with like, meeting other queer people and stuff–more colorful makeup, clothing, nicer stuff

he may or may not have went through a brief phase of going way over the top

actually come to think of it the standards for masculinity have changed a lot over the years there were times when masculine was huge frills and poofy sleeves, right?

idk how to fit that in there but it does, ok

anyway the point is magnus gets more and more comfortable with himself

and right now during canon era he’s more on “boldly expressing himself but still has tons of issues so maybe not completely or as openly as he’d like”

aka he wears makeup and jewelry and more feminine clothes but he tends to wear more “risky” things in private/with close friends only. (as well as not being super open about being nonbinary and/or trans. some other queer downworlders know, particularly baby ones who are like also trans/nb and magnus is more than happy to help with like, glamours and potions or a person to talk to and shit) 

the first time catarina sees him in a dress lounging in his apartment looking fabulous she doesn’t bat an eye she’s just like “damn that’s good where’d you get it” and he lights up (she doesn’t fail to notice his shoulders relax a little) and starts talking about this fabulous little shop in france run by a friend of his 

ragnor is probably the only person he’d ever openly and directly talked to about this, one night earlier on when he was rather drunk and he saw a skirt he really liked but he was afraid to get 

ragnor bought it for him later

anyway

quick detour on they/them pronouns. magnus usually uses he/him because he likes those pronouns just as much and it’s just easier in so many ways but cat, ragnor, and some of his other close adopted family members often use they/them because they know magnus doesn’t hear it enough and he likes those pronouns too

alec finds out about him being nonbinary/enjoying they/them pronouns and magnus is a little worried because he knows alec is Gay but alec is like. so accepting and understanding. and even days where magnus feels more nebulous and less masculine alec is like “babe i love men yes but i love you MOST, on days were you’re a man and days when you’re not” because a) sexual attraction =/= love and b) alec loves magnus not his dick (although i have feelings about being trans + magical transitioning and believe it is fully possible magnus could potentially be pretty much biologically male with enough powerful magic ok)

anyway alec uses both he/him and they/them with magnus depending on what he’s comfortable with that day and magnus is so happy ok

BACK TO CROSSDRESSING (you’re right, that is a stupid term–especially since i’ve detoured into nonbinary man magnus because im dumb and now the “cross” part even MORE doesn’t work) 

ok but once canon era is over and malec are happily married and immortal

magnus now has several friends (i mean he already had that but now one of them is gone–although we can easily say ragnor faked his death i mean–and he has a few new ones. like. simon is immortal so. just saying.) AND a loving husband who loves and supports him so much

who are there to support and encourage him

so magnus might get more and more open and possibly wear skirts and stuff even in public

and yeah he gets some assholes who are dicks about it but he also gets the occasional shy teenager complimenting him on his skirt or a grown woman being like “oh my god THE COLOR where did you GET THAT” 

generally the downworld is pretty supportive 

and if anyone’s a dick about it i mean

while magnus can defend himself

catarina, raphael, alec, or one of his many other supporters is probably gonna get there first

[angelsfalling16]

Baz Met a Bloke

Read it on ao3

Pairing: Snowbaz

Words: 1719

A/N: Back when I was taking requests @watfordwallflower asked for a fic where Fiona and Simon interact. I don’t know if this is quite what you wanted, but once I started writing, the fic just kind of took on a life of it’s own. I hope you like it, and I’m sorry that it took me so long to write it! <3

Summary: I decided to rewrite that scene in chapter 56 when Baz visits Fiona. Simon is also there, which Fiona isn’t too happy about, but not so unhappy that she isn't willing to embarrass Baz.

Simon

There is complete silence between the three of us as Baz and I sit across from his aunt at the table in her flat. She glances between us, wondering why her nephew would bring me – the Mage’s heir – into her home. I’m not quite sure why he did either. I could have just stayed in the car or something. I know that she hates me, and I’m not all that fond of her either.

I expected her to try to kick me out as soon as she saw me. She did try, but Baz told her that I was with him. He wouldn’t give her an explanation for why I was with him, and for a reason that I don’t understand, she relented. I fear that this is some kind of trap. They lured me here so that I could be killed. That’s the only reason that he would have brought me along. I ignore the fact that I came here willingly.

I sit there with a death grip on the cup of tea that I was given. I’m afraid to actually drink it because for all I know, it could be poisoned. That’d be a great way for the Families to win, off the Chosen One with a cup of tea that he drinks willingly.

Maybe I’m being paranoid, but I doubt it.

“Tell me about Nicodemus,” Baz says. It’s not a question, and he says it like there isn’t a doubt in his mind that she knows about him and will tell him whatever she knows.

“Who’s been talking to you about Nicodemus?” She asks. I don’t miss the glare that she shoots in my direction.

“Nobody,” he lies, nonchalantly dunking some shortbread into his tea. “I’ve just heard that he’s like me.”

He means a vampire, but that’s where the similarities likely end between them. Baz would never turn against the World of Mages. Magic is important in Baz’ family, and he would never just give it up. He’ll barely admit that he’s a vampire, so there’s no way that he would turn away from his family and join them.

I hate that there’s a voice in my head whispering that I can’t know that for sure. I’ve always thought that Baz was up to something, so maybe this is possible.

He’s already a vampire, though, so it isn’t like he needs to be Turned like Nicodemus did.

“He betrayed us, Basil,” Fiona is saying in a low voice when I tune back into the conversation. “And he was stricken for it.”

“He was stricken because he’s a vampire.”

“That’s not going to happen to you. No one knows about you.” Her eyes cut to me for a brief moment. “Well, almost no one. Why did you bring the Mage’s heir along again?” She sounds less angry this time but not by much.

“Simon isn’t going to go against us.” He sounds more certain than I feel about this. I’m waiting for the moment one of them moves to quickly so that I can pull my sword out to protect myself.

“But he’s the Mage’s heir,” she repeats. “We can’t trust him.”

“And he’s here with me,” Baz says. “He’s not hurting anyone, and he isn’t going to run to the Mage with any of this.” He says it like it’s a given, but I’m not so sure about that.

His aunt thinks thoughtfully for a moment. I can’t begin to try to figure out what’s going through her head. After a slow minute drags by, there’s a small change in her facial expression

“Fine.” She still doesn’t sound happy, but she seems more welcoming now.

“So, is Nicodemus still alive?” Baz asks.

The two of them go on to talk about Nicodemus and what happened to him, but I keep my mouth shut. I know that my input wouldn’t be wanted here. Baz has made that perfectly clear in the past.

Fiona warns him against Nicodemus, telling him that there is nothing for Baz to learn from him. He tells her that he won’t bother him, but I’ve known him long enough and spent enough time with him over the years to know that he is lying. His aunt either doesn’t pick up on it or chooses to ignore it. Baz will do whatever it takes to find out who murdered his mother. I note that he doesn’t mention this little tidbit to her. I’m sure that the fact that Nicodemus may know what happened to Baz’ mother is something that she might want to know, but Baz doesn’t say anything about it. Maybe that’s for the best.

Baz stands, ready to leave, and I follow suit. She tells him to go home and study, but he reminds her that he said that he’s on break and that he’s going dancing. I frown at him, confused, but don’t say anything. He never mentioned anything about dancing. He never actually said what his plans were for today, which is why I even agreed to come along with him to visit his aunt. I didn’t know what I was agreeing to.

If he plans to go dancing after this, I am horribly unprepared. I can’t dance. And who would I even dance with? Where we would be going dancing? Why didn’t he tell me? Why is he still keeping things from me?

I’m busy running through these questions and barely hear Fiona’s next question.

“Basil. Have you met a bloke?”

Her eyes travel down his nice suit and black shoes. Then, her eyes flicker to me, and I feel horribly underdressed standing next to him right now. Most of what I’m wearing belongs to Baz, but I refused to dress up like he did because he wouldn’t tell me why I should. He just murmured something about looking half-way decent for once in my life before shoving his jumper into my hand and walking out of the room.

I try to process what she said while also trying to read the expression that flickers briefly across Baz’ features. He seems displeased with her remark and turns to leave. I stand rooted to the spot, stunned, trying to figure out what it all means until I realize that he will probably leave without me if I don’t follow him.

“Don’t forget that the front seat’s for people who haven’t been kidnapped by fucking numpties,” Fiona calls after us when we reach the door.

I turn to look at her to see what she means, and she’s laughing. Wait. Is that why Baz missed so much of the school year? Because he was kidnapped? Why didn’t he tell me?

“Let’s go, Snow,” Baz sneers, pulling on my arm. He sounds annoyed. I follow after him slowly letting the new piece of information sink in. I choose to forget what Fiona said before that. It’s easier not to think about things, especially things that don’t concern me. Baz being kidnapped is much more important anyway.

“You were kidnapped?” I ask. “By numpties?” I try not to laugh, but I still earn a glare from Baz. “Seriously, though. Are you alright?”

“I’m not talking about this with you.”

“Why not?”

“Because we aren’t friends. We aren’t even on the same side.”

“But you told your aunt…” I feel like a little kid, trying to figure out why someone doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. I guess we were never friends, and I shouldn’t have believed that that could ever change.

Because I had begun to believe it. The truce, staying at his house – in his room – and coming along with him on this adventure has given me false hope. I foolishly believed that he could change his mind about wanting to fight me. He’s just using me, pretending that we get along, until we find whoever killed his mother. Then, he’ll kill me. He’ll try to at least.

“I only said that so that she wouldn’t kill you. Not until after you help me find my mom’s murderer at least. After that, she can do whatever she wants, and I won’t stop her.”

His words sting, but they shut me up. Just like he was aiming for. I can’t believe that even after this truce between us, he still wants me dead. I should still want him dead, but I don’t. I don’t want to think about why that is, so I shove that thought away, too, and get into the car, not saying anything else to him.

***

After the rest of the day’s events, I find myself once again sitting in his car in a similar silence. It’s different this time. For one thing, the car smells of smoke. I’m used to the scent. It’s something that constantly clings to me because of my magic. This is different, though. It’s a reminder of everything that just happened tonight.

Another difference is the tingling of my lips as they remember what just happened. I kissed Baz. I kissed Baz. I kissed Baz. I. Kissed. Baz. The more I repeat it, the more unbelievable it sounds. Everything about tonight seems unbelievable, but I want to believe. I don’t want things to go back to how they were before.

Then, it clicks. This is what his aunt meant when she asked if he meant a bloke. Whether she was referring to me or someone else, she knows that Baz is gay.

“You’re staring,” Baz says, not looking away from the road.

“I know,” I say, smiling.

“So, stop.”

“I don’t want to. I never want to stop looking at you, Baz.”

“Nothing’s changed,” he says half-heartedly.

“Everything has changed.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you to die, and I am determined to prevent that from happening.”

We turn into his driveway, and he doesn’t say anything. As soon as he has the car in park, though, his hands are cupping my face, and he’s kissing me hard, like his life depends on this one moment. I kiss him back with as much feeling, trying to express all of the things that I have trouble saying. I don’t want to watch him die, and I don’t want to ever let him go. We will have to find a way to avoid this coming war, and we will have to do it together.

[comicteaparty]

December 18th-December 24th, 2019 Reader Favorites Archive

The archive for the Reader Favorites chat that occurred from December 18th, 2019 to December 24th, 2019.  The chat focused on the following question:

What tropes and/or clichés are you perfectly fine with seeing in the webcomics you read?

Deo101

Like all of the cutesy cheesy relationship tropes. I love them all and I always will! Plenty more, but I find myself getting caught up in the relationship tropes the most. Specifically friends to lovers, but I also really like the found family trope. I know there are more tropes that I love but I can't think of them off the top of my head, so I'll probably just agree with others as the week goes on

indogswetrust

pass me the slow burn romance please thaaaanks

Deo101

that one too. Also hurt/comfort. Pump those into my VEINS they are my lifeblood... I shamelessly put every trope I want into my work so I can't judge other people for doing the same

indogswetrust

i’m trash

I’ve become more sssssophisticated as I’ve gotten older but I know what I like in a webcomic.

And it’s Adorable Behavior (tm)

Deo101

I've gotten less sophosticated. I thought I got more sophisticated but turns out I just got less shameful about the things i like

indogswetrust

Haha

I mean I used to really be fixated on comedy and now I’m more okay with things being ambiguous and complex? Ingress is a good example. I might have put it down two years ago but now I wanna see where Spicer and Toivo’s journey takes them

Fixated isn’t the exact word. whatever

Deo101

No I get you! Realizing you like more than just one thing and expanding your horizons is really important!

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I love the enemies-to-lovers trope. Any time a pair of characters goes from ‘I hate your guts’ to ‘take me now’ I’m loving it. That is, so long as one of them wasn’t being outright abusive during their ‘hate’ phase.

indogswetrust

Man that’s a delicate balance but also

Deo101

^ Fully agree. I just get a little too anxious about the "enemies" side of thing and worry they wont fully grow into lovers I guess! But if it's done well, Its an especially good one

carcarchu

i second the enemies-to-lovers thing i will never get enough of that trope

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

thirded

if I even smell a hint of it in a story, provided it's not overtly violent or abusive or otherwise horrible... I am hooked

kayotics

Fourthed... it’s a good trope

keii4ii

Now I feel like the odd one out for being neutral toward that trope. I definitely enjoy good examples of it, but otherwise completely neutral?

Evolving relationships is a good thing in general though, and enemies to lovers does fall in that category.

keii4ii

I have a soft spot for long lost superadvanced civilizations being unearthed. While it doesn't guarantee I'll fall in love with the story, it WILL grab my attention and at least get me to check it out.

renieplayerone

I dont really have any strong opinions on any tropes, but theres a really good channel on youtube that goes through and critiques tropes. I find it really useful for writing. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDb22nlVXGgcljcdyDk80bBDXGyeZjZ5e

keii4ii

(Please don't let my weirdness ruin anyone's enjoyment of the trope though, lol. I'm all for celebrating what you like! was just genuinely wondering if I'm the only one who's neutral about it!)

keii4ii

Also not an overarching story trope, but more like a type of a scene... I really like this thing (if this is a trope please tell me what it's called XD) A, B, C are friends. A and B are bffs. C is not as close. B talks to C about this while A is away. This is an honest conversation, not a malicious one. B learns to see A in a way they hadn't before, and it strengthens the B-A friendship. I'm not likely to start reading a story just because I know it contains this scene. But if a story I already like has this scene, it is likely to be my favorite scene!(edited)

I guess part of the reason why I like it so much is, it shows that the relationship (the B-A one in this case) is not insular. It's a real relationship between real people, who also have relationships outside of it, and the relationships have an influence on each other.

(And that's a lot of "relationship"s in a paragraph...)

eli [a winged tale]

Positive relationships and healthy navigations between relationship and life problems are my jam The enemies to lovers trope can be gripping because you get an additional conflict on top of tension. I thought the novel Red White & Royal Blue did a good job at that. Grant Snyder did a trope bingo for murakami and I thought it was fun to do the same for my works in progress. For reference: the murakami one https://www.google.com/amp/s/news.avclub.com/here-s-how-to-play-haruki-murakami-bingo-as-you-read-hi-1798271345/amp

keii4ii

omg

I NEED TO MAKE THIS for me/ comics I read

I mean I don't have a whole lot of stories, but it would be interesting to see what kind of common items get checked off across mine + my favorite comics combined

Capitania do Azar

wow I've been thinking about it a lot and I'm having a very hard time selecting the tropes I like best... I'm more of a "I know what I don't like and taking that aside I like being surprised"

Cronaj

All I can say is... Red Oni, Blue Oni (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedOniBlueOni). This trope is seriously so good. My favorite thing about this trope is that the "Red Oni," or the hot-headed one, and the "Blue Oni," the cold or level-headed one, can be either friends or enemies. So it makes for a beautiful dynamic no matter what type of story it is. Buddy cops, competitors in the workplace, brothers, enemies, the straight man and the fool, you name it. Typically these characters are foils of each other, and their differencesbalways make for exceedingly fun interactions. Another favorite trope of mine, which I don't really know the name of, is where the seemingly hot/handsome guy is actually a dork who has no idea what he's doing. Everyone in the story thinks he's done everything, but really he's just a dopey, niave possibly shy and definitely clumsy virgin. But the social awkwardness only makes him inexplicably more appealing to the other lead. Cute

Ah! Another trope I have to add because it's basically my crack: Androids Are People, Too (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AndroidsArePeopleToo). I have loved this trope since before Detroit: Become Human, but the game certainly rekindled my love for it. Very genre-specific, but AI fascinate me to no end, whether it's in the real world, or in Sci-Fi.

eli [a winged tale]

Haha Cronaj are you me? Contrasting characters and robots who have feelings can get me hooked straight away

indogswetrust

lemme tell y’all about a trope I’ve noticed: the crazy lesbian. Like, The Favorite and Killing Eve and that Netflix movie about the violinists. Whoof. I am so tired of that

Cronaj

Hahahaha! I dunno maybe. I also have a protagonist in one of my novels named Eli.

eli [a winged tale]

The cute nerd who is fumbling but appeared to have it all together may lean towards the Mary Sue for me but if there is a true flaw (Tm) then I’m down

indogswetrust

I feel like gay men characters have been getting humanized and happy endings and that’s awesome! But lesbians have not been getting the same treatment.

bumbling and romantically inept nerds fuel me

eli [a winged tale]

What do you mean about the lesbian part, indogswetrust? I’m curious to know of the differences as I’m currently writing both

Cronaj

@eli [a winged tale] YES. I'm not gonna lie, I have definitely used more than one of these tropes XD And one of them may or may not be the fumbling hottie...

eli [a winged tale]

I wanted to link my trope bingo but thought it went against the pinned rules I can DM it to you if you’re interested and I’d love to play everyone else’s bingos

Cronaj

Oh hell yes. Lesgooooooo!

I have never made a trope bingo, but I really should

indogswetrust

Like, Love, Simon or Call Me By Your Name show gay men as people slowly falling in love and it’s tender and kind. But The Favorite literally has animal abuse in it and women sleeping with each other for power. I walked out of the theater. Same for Killing Eve, it’s about a spy and a murderer. High intrigue and drama but it’s obviously a toxic relationship from the premise

eli [a winged tale]

Oh no! You should check out Their Story by Tan Jiu)

It’s formatted like a webcomic as well though formally called manhua. It does the slow burn romance, humanizing aspect very well. I’m not well versed in the mainstream portrayal but certainly on the indie side, people are stepping up and writing very positive and healthy lesbian stories

indogswetrust

The indie side is great. Even “The Sea In You” (a webcomic) is frickin adorable

It just grinds my beans about mainstream portrayal

eli [a winged tale]

Loving the sea in you!

RebelVampire

A trope I will never get sick of is https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EverythingsBetterWithPrincesses , especially if https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ReallyRoyaltyReveal this is what happens in the story. I just...I really love royalty. I can't help it. I love the pointless traditions, the fancy dresses, the palaces, etc.. And even if that's not part of it, I still like it when some rando girl realizes that she's a princess and now has to deal with that idea that she has subjects she has to protect or something. Bonus points if she's a magical girl. I even like it when it's a reverse situation where it's an evil princess. I will never tire of princesses ever because the concept is always fascinating to me no matter which way its spun.

eli [a winged tale]

I love the fanciness of it all. All those lovely eye candy designs

Cronaj

Same... I have also used the Really Royalty Reveal, like..... Several times

eli [a winged tale]

The royal reveal when done well can be so powerful and validating

Kelsey (Kurio)

I have a queen ant character but no princesses yet

Eightfish

ooh are we talking about tropes we like? I really like mind reading/ mind control. But consensual. It's feels like the theme of trust taken to the extreme, where a character has such belief in someone they'd trust their mind / body to them. But I've only really seen it in some kid's books I liked (Young Wizards, Animorphs), and the only webcomic I've seen with this idea is my own, and I haven't even gotten to that part yet. Anyone have any recommendations? Ooh or a tvtropes link?

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

It comes up in the Murderbot Diaries -- the main character is a construct, basically a really-advanced android, and there are times when it lets a more-powerful AI pilot its body to handle an emergency that's unfolding too fast for it to keep up with on its own.

Eightfish

I looked it up and I do like the themes of androids' humanity. And it's a series of novellae, which, wow, that's very rare. Not sure I've ever seen that before. Do you recommend the book as a whole?(edited)

Erin Ptah (BICP 🎄 Leif & Thorn)

I recommend the whole series, yes!

[glorioussimon]

underappreciated things about rise 1x10: opening night

i’m going to be crying by the end of this and by now i’ve just accepted that

correction it just started and now i’m crying

i remember turning it on when it first aired and waiting for the previously on and when there weren’t any i was so shook

soon goodbye, now love by tom rosenthal

maashous looking at the picture of him and his mom

vanessa being surprised by the lock on the door

when gail is taking the mazzuchelli family picture everyone’s smiling except for gordy who’s just making a deadpan expression at the camera

everyone insisting that maashous be in it

gordy putting his arm around maashous

vanessa acknowledging that lilette was right

lilette having no idea what to think about philadelphia

“you know what the audience is gonna see?” “....substandard theatre?”

simon is SO SALTY about the petition

“if anyone wants to show up, which you probably shouldn’t. the show’s gonna suck now thanks to everyone that signed that stupid petition.”

he’s clearly not happy that his dad’s going to see it. he feels unsafe with him there and it breaks my heart

gwen refusing to live with her dad

both gwen and simon using the excuse that the show’s going to suck to try and deter their parents from coming to it

tracey’s cool house

tracey calling lou out

lou wanting tracey to be at opening night

“not tonight, lou” tracey i’ve got some bad news

all of the music in this episode makes me cry

i didn’t start tearing up the first time i watched this until i saw robbie’s mom in the car and that’s when i knew that i wasn’t going to make it out of this finale alive

michael and sasha's selfie

the lights on the spring awakening sign being like the ones in all you desire and the ones on the mazzuchellis’ porch

michael finally telling sasha what he thinks she should do

lilette being so excited that mama thorne is there

robbie saying “so everything is back to normal” and sounding so happy about it makes my heart hurt because not only does he not know about lilette moving, he does know that his mom is dying, and that her being out of the hospital for just a day doesn’t change that or make everything normal again. he’s just trying to convince himself that it does.

maashous getting the fuck out of lou’s office when evan shows up

i don’t know why but i find the way that evan describes the beating scene so funny

“the scene where the boy beats the girl with the stick”

jeremy sasha anabelle and francis watching through the office window

lilette’s shocked face when lou says that they’re going back to the original version

sasha’s too

everyone looks so excited when lou says that they can say fuck

simon referencing the desdemona scene as vaguely as he possibly can

lou saying that he might not be invited back to direct next year almost seems like the show saying that it might not be back for a second season and wow here are the tears again folks

the camera has to pan way up when it goes from showing simon’s face to anabelle’s face and it makes me laugh

i never noticed the hair clips that violet is wearing she looks so pretty

lilette being the first to raise her hand because she knows that it will be her last chance to

and then simon not raising his hand at first because he’s terrified of what will happen to him if he does the original scenes but eventually raising his hand anyway

michael and jolene smiling at each other

everyone panicking when mr baer says one hour to curtain

jeremy waving his hand in front of mr baer’s face

this montage makes me emotional as fuck

the fact that the last thing they filmed being them getting ready for their show

robbie listening to music to hype himself up or calm himself down

simon putting on his st. francis jacket

simon and jeremy not making direct eye contact but looking at each other through the mirror

the boys practicing their choreography

idk what cheryl and lexi are doing but it’s cute

the violins in the song starting when it shows the band

maashous finding the suit

“lou! you CANNOT change an entire show one hour before curtain. some of us here have a family history of heart issues -”

this entire exchange between lou michael and the propmaster

“just to clarify, am i committing suicide or just feeling really sad?”

michael is so salty about not having his gun

the propmaster throwing something on the ground in his haste to turn around

michael’s face when the propmaster says that he can just use his finger is fucking gold

michael, ready for death

enough games where the fuck can i buy a stanton high spring awakening shirt

if i were to make those and sell them on redbubble or something would anyone be interested in buying one. this is a legit question i want to know

kaitlin’s smile when she sees maashous

maashous had to look up how tie a tie on youtube

gail straightening the tie

maashous thanking gail for everything

it sounds like maashous is going to say something but then the lights flicker so he has to leave? what was he going to say

“we’ll celebrate tonight after the show!” gail i have some bad news

the propmaster tearing apart the props room

"cough once for suicide, twice for no suicide”

it looks like there’s a stock photo of a kid with a tuba behind the propmaster?

johnny cruz bringing lilette chocolate

all the good luck posters in the hallway

i have no idea whether or not to trust johnny or not and for that reason i dislike him

lou peeking out at the audience

“please let this not suck”

nothing will ever compare to the chills i got the first time i saw lilette stepping out on stage

pta mom nancy being horrified by the revealing dress

mama who bore me transitioning right into the reprise doesn’t make any sense but it sounds cool so i’ll let it slide

 the chorus on “hope that it glows”

can the audience hear evan yelling at lou? probably

evan: you could be fired! lou: ask me if i give a fuck

mama who bore me reprise hypes me up so much i love my girls

okay i have to acknowledge the order of this because what the fuck. i get that we didn’t see all of the songs but?? totally fucked before don’t do sadness? i believe after woybr? and i always thought that all you desire was supposed to be somewhere between woybr and those you’ve known but it’s at the end? i don’t understand this

everything about totally fucked

everyone is great in this but i want to give special notice to simon for just. being like that

francis michael lexi and gwen hanging off the scaffolding gives me so much anxiety what if one of them falls

they’re holding on one-handed please be safe kids

the camera just zooming in on the most inappropriate parts

ward’s face when they say fuck

sadie’s lowkey awkward face

so many audience members look so stunned

the saunders family has no idea what the fuck to do

the dream is for the cast of rise to do a full production of spring awakening that i can analyze the shit out of

lou and gail covering sadie’s eyes

some of the audience members just straight up leaving

sadie peeking under her parents’ hands

“we always have allentown” where’s my spinoff that’s just rise in allentown

maashous’s fear when tracey shows up

tracey doing the choreography with the kids

i would die for cheryl

when they did touch me in episode 7 simon and jeremy were on opposite sides of the stage but now they’re standing next to each other and it’s extremely important to me

tracey convincing evan to fuck off

she loves her kids so much

also this is the last scene where we hear maashous speak pour one out for our lighting director everyone

i have to mention clark in his adult man costume again

the fact that lou and simon’s conversation occurs while the scene with moritz and his dad plays out on stage makes the whole thing so much more emotional

simon’s clearly been crying and i hate it

simon thinking that he let lou down

lou telling simon that he’s proud of him

tbh i really like lou and simon’s relationship

tracey helping cheryl with her hair

the contrast between the first time that simon and jeremy performed woybr and the last time

the lighting in this scene is so nice props to maashous

the hand kiss!!!

i wish that we had some more insight into what simon was thinking here. was this a split second decision or did he actually talk to jeremy or anyone about it? i know that there were deleted scenes where he talked to jeremy and he talked to lilette but idk where they were in the episode and i want them more than anything

also i want the full woybr scene

fuck you, nbc

jeremy looks so surprised when simon leans in to kiss him

the way that simon looks at jeremy after the kiss

i’m pretty sure that this is the moment when papa saunders really realizes that his son is gay and that’s the real reason why he leaves

lilette’s face when robbie hugs her during i believe

i love how they do i believe with the rest of the cast blocking wendla and melchior from the audience. idk why i just really like it

also loving how they actually have a river during don’t do sadness/blue wind

the strickland parents looking so proud of gwen

“i should’ve never called you middle-aged.”

i wish that we could have heard more of michael’s part in don’t do sadness

evan: “i could go up there and stop this right now.”

superintendent lewis, crying: “let them finish.”

“she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?” “yeah, he is.” this is so cheesy i love it so much

jolene as a reformatory boy is the reason why i’m gay

gwen and gordy having a beautiful romantic moment while the reformatory scene plays out in the background

“pretty deep for a dumb football player.”

clark and francis don’t even change their clothes when they become reformatory boys so it just looks like otto and georg have changed their names and become delinquents

lexi as the abortionist

i remember reading that there was a deleted masha scene and i’m so sad that we didn’t get it

i remember that we saw the kiss in a promo but we had no idea who sasha was and i couldn’t tell who it was from the back of her head so i spent a lot of time just trying to figure it out

sasha’s smile after she and michael kiss

and michael’s stunned expression

robbie acknowledging that this might be the last time his mom gets to see him act

“i think you might have changed my life, mr. mazzu.” bitch me too the fuck!!

the graveyard scene with wendla and moritz on either side of the stage

the rest of the troupe looking apprehensive

everyone in the audience just crying

robbie not being able to sing his part

pta nancy looks so upset. me too

mama thorne knows exactly why robbie is crying so hard and i’m so sad

i can’t tell if the choreography calls for wendla and moritz to have their hands on melchior’s shoulders or if lilette and michael are comforting robbie and tbh i really like that?

lou and tracey hugging

as much as i love all you desire i wish we could have seen the whole troupe do purple summer

sasha shoving michael in the background

“don’t go.”

i love how they have hanschen and ernst on one side of the stage and ilse moritz and martha on the other side during all you desire

the camera going to gwen’s parents when she sings “you’re my only desire”

the character development between gordy’s first scene in the series and his last

simon and gwen’s solos (especially simon’s) never fail to give me chills

i feel like that last kiss between melchior and wendla was unscripted and just robbie wanting to kiss lilette one last time

just how meta the whole situation is. the fact that so many people benefited from this show, that they created something beautiful, and then it was unfairly cancelled because of a few louder voices.

it appeases the people they’re hired to appease.

i remember that when carry you started the first time i watched it i was getting hyped for sean and then there was no sean and i was sad

simon watching jeremy sing

the fact that it looks like mr baer is conducting carry you

sasha grabbing michael’s hand

why is francis always climbing the scaffolding

tracey doing the choreography with the kids

cheryl waving at the audience

i can finally reveal that i made a cameo in this episode. i was the one who gave harmony flowers.

the way that jeremy looks at simon when he grabs his hand

simon doesn’t look upset that his dad isn’t there. he looks relieved.

mama saunders is so proud of him

michael smiling at sasha

gwen saying that her dad giving her a bouquet of roses won’t make anything better earlier in the episode and then when her dad actually does give her roses she just looks resigned to it

simon cheering for lilette is so cute

papa thorne being the first one to stand and the fact that it looks like mama thorne asked him to

he looks so proud

everyone is so proud of their kids most of all me

simon and jeremy switch places for the final bow and it’s probably a continuity error but i choose to believe that they did it intentionally so that they could stand with their friends

kaitlin crying when she sees that maashous is gone

the entire rise fandom should get matching maashous was here tattoos

harmony and sasha pulling lou onto the stage

michael jumping up and down when tracey comes out

sasha with her arms around harmony and lexi

jeremy’s hand on francis’s shoulder

these kids love each other so much

i love them so much

the kids are so happy. they have no idea what’s just been taken from them. and honestly, i’m a little glad that if the show had to end, it ended here - in this brief moment of happiness, before it all falls apart.

end scene.

[artqueen02]

I posted 121 times in 2022

That's 121 more posts than 2021!

18 posts created (15%)

103 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dizzypiglinz

@aroaceconfessions

@ace-aussie-asshole

@litners-lending-library

@compassionatereminders

I tagged 42 of my posts in 2022

#carry on - 4 posts

#asexual - 3 posts

#snowbaz - 3 posts

#gay - 3 posts

#simon snow series - 3 posts

#awtwb - 2 posts

#long post - 2 posts

#(depending on how long it takes/the amount of notes this gets i might give a hint) - 2 posts

#ttp - 2 posts

#spotify wrapped - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#im hooked on the simon snow series although i’ve finished the books i wanna read snow for xmas but i can’t get scattered showers anywhere

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY I NEED A VER SPECIFIC SORT OF SNOWBAZ FIC RN: SECRET DATING (AT WATFORD NO NON MAGICAL AU OR ANYTHING) AND PENNY GETTING SUS AND BEING A DETECTIVE AND FINDING OUT OR LIKE THEM TELLING HER JUST BEFORE SHE FIGURES IT OUT HERSELF OR KIKE HER WALKING IN ON RHEM SNUGGLING OR KISSING OR JUST BEING LIKE CUTE LIL BOUFRIENDS OR SKMETHING UST PEN FINDING OUT SOMEHOW PREFERABLY ON AO3

(no smut please)

4 notes - Posted November 28, 2022

#4

I was suprised by the lack of genderbent snowbaz for the wlw coc prompt so I made a thing. I litterally wrote this in half an hour, and it hasnt been BETA'd or proofread so its really short thats fun.

Cw: brief mention of breasts but in like a very non-sexual way

also dysphoria ig?

It went sorta angsty i swear that was not intended

anyways under the cut

Read It On AO3

Baz

Crowley I hate this so much. 

My hair is too long. And I cant get comfortable with these infernal breasts. Aleister Crowley. 

Some fourth year was trying to help their friend with a transitioning spell and completely butcherd it and  now everyone on campus is cursed with being in the wrong body for a day. 

Though I suppose for some it would be the right body. For some it would be more of a blessing than a curse.

Not for me.

Snow is sitting next to me, raking his (Her? His.) fingers through my hair and trying to convince me that its all going to be okay. Aleister Fucking Crowley, Snow, of course its not going to be okay, this is an absolute disaster. 

What if it dosent go away after a day?

“Hey, Baz, love? This is all gonna work out, you know? The spell will wear off after a day - maybe two at the longest - and everything will be back to normal - no, not Normal just normal”

I don’t respond

“Love? We should probably get up and get dressed now, hey? We have to get to class”

Merlin and Morganna I dont have any clothes. I make no effort to move, there’s no way I’m going to class today. 

“Okay love, you can stay here, but I’m going to go to classes today, okay?”

He moves arround the room, getting ready for the day. Once hes ready to leave, he stops by my bed. 

“Is it alright if I kiss you?”

“Yeah” No

He kisses me, and its all wrong. Nothing’s the right shape, nothing fits. I pull away and hide under my quilts. (Because I’m pathetic) (Ask anyone).

“Alright, love. Im gonna head off now okay? I’ll check in on you between clasess, if you want to talk about anything, let me know, alright?”

4 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#3

Okay so I’m listening to love and luck rn and I have come to the conclusion that Kane and Jason are literally Drew and Harrison from kaleidotrope just in a different lifetime

ALSO I NEED MORE GAY FICTIONAL PODCASTS LIKE THE TWO PRINCES, KALEIDOTROPE, AND LIVE AND LUCK A SAPPHIC ONE WOULD BE GOOD

6 notes - Posted September 11, 2022

#2

Just got my period and feeling extremely sapphic and In need of a gf to cuddle in the middle of the night

6 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Nico likes

Because

Isn’t his type

21 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[vote-for-eggman]

Gay Young Adult reviews “Love, Simon”

I went and saw Love, Simon tonight. 

I was one of two people in the theater. The other was a clearly homosexual man probably in his late-thirties that looked like Gavin from Drake and Josh.

Warning, Spoilers Ahead.

Going into this movie, I was prepared to hate it. I am not the type of gay into the whole gay scene or at least to the extent it feels like... most other gay guys my age are into. And frankly, the movie was setting itself up to being something I’d hate. It had what I call a “coloring book cast,” a movie that tries to be diverse to the extent of what seems like obvious pandering. I mean, one of the black characters is dressed like Wonder Woman. Perhaps it was a cheap pandering to the people who care too much about that stuff. BUT, I was pleasantly surprised to see that the characters were not written as if to pander to people. I suppose I’ve been burnt out by diversity in media being sensationalized that I become too critical of that stuff for myself. This movie does diversity completely right. Perhaps because the characters feel SO GROUNDED in reality... it just didn’t register.

Though, there was also that “WHY DOES STRAIGHT HAVE TO BE THE DEFAULT?” ad that was so fucking annoying. 

We’ll get to that.

One of the modern plights of movies and film and television, to me, is writing. Acting in most movies has been top-notch but you can act like a prodigy but your movie will still be shit if the writing is terrible. This movie does not have that. I was worried that the movie would be extremely disconnected to portraying the movie’s characters as teenagers. For the most part, it doesn’t do that. The characters TALK and ACT like people my age! There was one character, Leah, who finds out Simon is gay. She had always thought he was straight and, later, when they are talking about it, she describes getting rid of the idea of him being heterosexual as “chopping Hetero Simon up with a mental machete” which, frankly, is something some of my friends would certainly say.

Simon has a well-written family. What obviously is most important to a gay teenager were his parents. Each has a great scene with Simon, post-coming out.

His father made jokes at the expense of homosexuals. Nothing brutal, nothing really mean. Frankly, I wouldn’t be bothered by any of them if my friends were saying them. But, I think I, too, would be bothered if my Dad were to make those jokes (actually, I know I would since he does it). His father gets deeply distraught realizing he might have made Simon feel uncomfortable about his homosexuality. 

His mother has one of, if not, the best lines in the movie. And I really wish that they did not include the line in trailers for the movie. Simon asks her if she had known he was gay. She says all she knew was that he had a secret and described that he was “holding his breath.” Around my parents, that’s all I felt. Holding my breath. Hesitant. Describing the “closet” like that was fucking powerful. And when she said “now you get to exhale” because he was out, I started to feel my heart race. It was one of the most powerful scenes in the movie.

There was this one cringey scene that, yeah probably was a bit of pandering where his mom is noted as a “heavy liberal” and cuts to her holding a sign that says something about the patriarchy. But... whatever, honestly, its never brought up again and... admittedly doesn’t even work with her character so why did they include it in the first place?

That leads to Simon.

Simon is most certainly a gay teenager. That much is clear. Simon is blackmailed by some loser kid (like an actual loser) so as not to have secret conversations Simon has had with another anonymous gay kid at the school. Simon makes up lies to keep the loser kid an “option” to one of Simon’s friends. She turns the loser down, eventually, leading the loser to get so embarassed by the entire school, he reveals Simon’s conversations to the whole school. He is devastated, being outed, and the mysterious other gay kid completely cuts Simon off.

One of my biggest fears was having that happen with my parents. Someone just revealing it on the internet. I was so worried that my younger brother would find out at school and tell my parents. (thankfully, soon after I realized I was gay, he started to be homeschooled). That “breath” was hard to “exhale” if you get me.

Another thing of note was a fantasy scene Simon had thinking about being out in college. There was a dance scene to Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” that went way too long but it was literally a pride parade in his fantasy college dorm. The movie kind of pokes fun at it when Simon snaps out of it and says “this is lame” or “not THAT gay” or something. 

I am super uncomfortable with that sort of “parade gay” or “proud gay” shit. I liked that Simon was, too. It made me feel a little cleared of that alienation.

The movie has two amazing shots.

The first is the motif of the “potential boys” that Simon’s mysterious pen pal is. There’s a scene towards the end of the movie where we see all of the potentials reading Simon’s declaration of his lack of shame for being gay and furthermore, a plea for his crush to come out of the limelight.

Through the movie we see the mysterious boy take on the “mask” of these potentials. It would cut to the boy writing emails to Simon as any of these guys. One time is a soccer friend of his. Another its a boy in the play with him. It cuts great.

The second was by far my favorite. In the beginning of the movie, Simon introduces himself as an average teenager. To be honest, it was a little TOO on the nose (one of the lines was “my friends and I drink way too much iced coffee.” One of the few parts of the movie where it just didn’t feel REAL at all. No one says that unironically.) Regardless, this introduction returns word for word in the movie later on. We, the audience, learn that this introduction is actually the first email Simon sends to his mysterious boy.

Next, I mentioned the “WHY IS STRAIGHT THE DEFAULT?” cringe ad, earlier.

There is a scene in the movie where Simon asks this to himself and it cuts to fantasy scenes of his friends coming out as straight to their parents. And them freaking out. However, the scene loses whatever little power it had when... their parents are all in heterosexual relationships... so... why would they care? The question is a shit question either way.

However.

There’s a redeeming factor to this.

Simon himSELF recognizes that the question is stupid later on. Kind of. He notes, swiftly, at the end of the movie that “he was asking the question because he was afraid” not because it was something he should actually care about. 

So yeah, I guess its kind of redeemed. But why advertise on that stupid shit anyway? THAT was pandering, fuck it.

Now, let’s talk about something I think is a bit important.

Lets talk about the F word.

“Fuck” is only allowed to be used once in a PG-13 movie. For whatever reason.

However, I almost really like this rule. It allows the word to carry a lot of weight. It reminds me of BoJack Horsemans’ team’s rule on the word “fuck.” (Search it up) And boy did this movie use it well.

“FUCK” is used by Simon at the climax of the movie. When Simon finally gets angry at that kid for outting him. He goes on a good monologue about how coming out was supposed to be on Simon’s rules. And he was robbed of that.

Again, that resonated with me. I wasn’t outed but I was pretty much outted... which is contradictory. Let’s just say i was dragged by my eager friends at age thirteen. Not like my voice was doing any favors for me.

It was a powerful scene. And you LOVE cheering him on. At the end of the movie, too.

Lastly, Simon has a GREAT FUCKING TASTE in music.

At the end of the movie, you can see a Ladyhawke poster in his room. I fucking FLIPPED that they had a poster of hers there. His favorite Christmas song is “Someday at Christmas” by the Jackson 5. AMAZING FUCKING SONG.

Also, the set design in this movie? AMAZING. SO. REAL. SO FUCKING REAL. Everything felt so real, except his bedroom was kind of a dream bedroom. But I was fully immersed in Simon’s world because of that. The set designer better have gotten a raise for it. It was awesome. I loved it. So much.

Overall, this movie is NOT a desperate pander to the very-real issue of “minority sensationilization.” It is NOT a shit movie. It was an EXCELLENT film on the “gay teenager” and I’m happy that it was one of, if not the first, movie to focus on gay teenagers. It works. It resonated powerfully with me.

Especially for gay people my age, I would suggest watching it. 

[andtheselkiesfour]

The Final Adventure

A Carry On Leavers Ball Fanfic 

words: 7,808

a/n: Big thanks to my irl friend Josie, who beta’d my fic, helped me when I got stuck, and didn’t get mad at me for dragging her into another fandom (okay, she got a little mad, but softened when I agreed to let her read some of my favorite fics). This is a normal 8th year fic, but I’ve obviously changed a bit from canon. i’ve also made the decision to post all the chapters at once.

Please like or reblog this so I’ll know if I should post more, and inbox ways I could improve (be nice tho pls I’m fragile).

ONE

x simon x

Going through the eighth year at Watford is optional. Attending the Leavers Ball at the end of term is also optional, but if you told this to certain people, they’d go to extreme lengths in order to convince you otherwise.

Penny is one of those people.

I was planning on going to the Leavers Ball anyways, but if I hadn’t been, Penny would’ve scared me into it. She keeps saying stuff like “it’ll be our final adventure at Watford!” and honestly, it makes me sad. She makes it sound like our promise to get a flat together is something she’s still thinking about, something that isn’t final. Of course, I wouldn’t blame her if she wanted to live with her boyfriend, Micah, in America instead, but I’m still trying to cling onto what sliver of hope I have.

Penny and Agatha are in the library, looking at pictures of dresses on Google Images, and I’m sitting in a chair beside them, reading. Penny’s usually not one to get dressed up, but she’s practically obsessing over finding the perfect dress. Agatha, on the other hand, seems like she’s got it figured out. Which means I’ve got it figured out, because finding a tie that matches the color of her dress does not seem like a difficult task.

“What about this one, Penny?” Agatha points a manicured finger at the screen, and Penny scrunches her nose.

“It’s too long! I’ll trip.”

“Not if you wear heels,” Penny shakes her head and scrunches her nose again, and Agatha frowns, dropping her hand. They continue pointing out dresses to each other and disagreeing for well over half an hour, and I’m so lost in what I’m reading that I don’t hear what they’re talking about. When I finally look up, they’re both already looking at me.

I clear my throat, “hey, do you guys think vampires are actually allergic to garlic?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you go ask one?” Agatha scowls, and I blink. “Have you even been listening to me?”

“Uh… no,” I’m nothing if not honest. Agatha throws her hands in the air and looks over at Penny. Penny just raises her eyebrows and leans back in her chair.

“I asked you if chartreuse is okay for my dress.”

“That’s… that’s red, right?”

“It’s yellow-green, Simon. Honestly. Do you even want to go to the Leavers Ball?”

“Yes! Yes of course, Agatha. Yellow is fine.”

She softens, “okay.  I’ll show it to you when it comes in the mail.”

“Looking forward to it,” I smile.

Penny rolls her eyes, “you guys are gross. I’m going back to my room,” she stands and slings her bag over one shoulder.

“We’re gross? Trixie and her girlfriend are probably going to be in the room once you get there.”

“Yeah, but they’re gross for different reasons,” Penny pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and stares at us. I don’t say anything, because I don’t know what she means and I’m too scared to ask, at least while Agatha is here.

After it’s silent for a few seconds, she sighs and turns around. We watch her walk out the door, then Agatha stands up and pulls her messenger bag over her head. “Walk me to my building?”

“Yeah,” I agree, putting my book away and reaching for her hand.

  x baz x

I’m on way back to the dorms after school when Dev spots me across the courtyard. I know he’s looking at me, and he knows I know he’s looking at me, but that doesn’t stop me from quickening my pace away from him. “Basil! Basil!”

I sigh and slow down considerably, and he hastens to catch up with me. He quickly falls into step beside me, his voice kind of breathy. I’m such a great friend.

“Mary Smith,” he raises his eyebrows at me and smirks, like that name is supposed to mean something to me.

“What about her?” I stop before going up the Mummers House steps and move out of Gareth’s way before he runs into me.  

“I asked her to the Leavers Ball,” Dev smiles, and I realize this must mean she said yes.

“That’s great; I’m happy for you,” and I am. I give him two pats on the shoulder, but pull back when he starts speaking again, far too excited for my taste.

“You know she has a twin, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Are you going to ask Kaitlyn to the dance?”

I laugh, and shake my head, unable to contain myself, “why would I want to have the same date as you?”

He scoffs, “they’re different people, Basil. Alright then, who are you asking?”

“Nobody.”

“Nobody!” He throws his hands up in the air, apparently extremely offended, “you might as well just not go at all!”

“A date is not required.”

“Like hell it isn’t. There are loads of girls without dates yet. Why haven’t you asked someone out by now?”

“We still have two weeks. And besides,” I pause, making sure he’s looking me in the eyes, “a date. is not. required.” I start up the stairs, clearly done with this conversation, leaving Dev baffled and still quite a bit offended.

I hear him mumble “wait until I tell Niall,” but I honestly couldn’t care less. I know there are a lot of girls without dates, and I know most of them would say yes if I asked, but there aren’t any girls at this school that I would want to ask. There aren’t even any boys I would want to ask. Or could ask. There’s not a single soul that I’d like to hold hands with, or slow dance with, or scoop gross fruit punch into a plastic cup for. There isn’t a single person at this school that I’d like to go to the dance with.

Except Simon Snow.

TWO

x baz x

Even if Snow was girlfriendless and gay, there’d still be a larger chance of getting struck by lightning than me going to the ball with him. He kind of hates me. And I hate him too; I hate his stupid curls and his stupid golden skin, and the obnoxious way he smells like cinnamon and smoke. I hate how he makes my heart jump out of my chest sometimes, or how he can take away my breath just by looking at me a certain way, with so much annoyance and hatred.

Just as I’m thinking this, he walks into the room we share and falls into his bed. He lays there staring at the ceiling for only a moment before exhaling forcefully and throwing his elbow over his eyes. His shirt lifts up when he does this, revealing a golden strip of skin below his wrinkled white button-up and above his belt. I allow myself a glance at it, before returning my attention back to the notes sprawled out on my bed.

We try to ignore each other when we’re in the room, which usually works out for us. Though, it’s hard to ignore him when he keeps sighing at random intervals. After a few minutes of this, I put my pen down and look over at him.

“Will you stop that, Snow?” I squint at him, and he lifts his arm slightly, one eye peeking out from behind his arm. He drops it down again, and there’s a pause.

“Sorry…” he says quietly.

I spend a few more minutes annotating my notes before looking over at Snow. He had been so quiet I was almost convinced he left the room. But now, I see why he was so quiet. His cheeks are red and damp, and a tear is slowly rolling down his cheek.

I can’t think of a single reason why Snow would be crying. I should be crying, what with all this bloody homework I have to have done before tomorrow.

Knowing that he is crying merely a few feet away from me is making it impossible to concentrate on anything else. At least I know I’m not the reason he’s upset, although I have made him cry a few times in the pfast. After fifth year, I tried to be more conscious of my words, making sure that teasing him never crosses the line into hurting him.

“Snow, are you…” I start, trying to make my voice as non-patronizing as I can.

“No,” he replies before I can get the rest of my sentence out, his voice raspy.

“Excuse me?”

“You were going to ask if I’m okay. The answer is no. And I know you’re asking because you pity me, not because you care. So I’m not going to bother answering your next question, which is going to be ‘what’s wrong?’.”

“...That’s not what I was going to ask at all.”

“It’s… not?”

“I was going to ask if you needed the shower,” I sneer, standing up and making my way to my wardrobe across the room. This is a terrible save, because usually he showers in the mornings, but he must buy it because he just utters a small ‘oh’ from under his arm.

I just need to get away from his crying before I try to do something about it. Like hug him. If I tried to touch him, that would surely be the end of me, anathema ignored. Even if he didn’t kill me, I’d die just as easily of embarrassment.

There’s also the possibility of me making it worse, whatever is going on with him. I told myself to be more conscious of my words, but he makes it so damn easy to insult him when he’s pushing me. Sometimes I think he actually enjoys fighting with me. Then I remember he must, because for some twisted reason, I like it too.

I grab my stuff and shut the door to the bathroom. I marvel at the absence of Snow’s dirty towels on the floor, but notice he’s left the cap off his toothpaste again. I shake my head and smile before I recap the toothpaste, then turn on the shower head.

Once I’m in the shower it’s easier to think. My thoughts flow from Snow to the Leavers Ball like lava in a lamp. Sometimes the thoughts come together and I have to tell myself ‘no, bad Baz. That is not happening, and you know it.’

I end up spending way longer in there than I should, and the water goes cold.

x simon x

Once Baz is in the shower it’s easier to think. I stopped crying after talking to him, which is odd, but I’m relieved. Maybe I was just cried out and all dried up. I don’t enjoy crying, so I’m thankful I’ve stopped, but I still feel like something’s wrong. Something’s missing.

This is all wrong. So wrong. The way Agatha held my hand on the way to her building, like my hand was too big for her. Like we didn’t fit. The way Penelope seems to be spending more time talking about the ball than reading these days. The way nobody seems to be feeling scared about their future except me.

It feels like everyone has got it all figured out. Penelope and Agatha know exactly what university they want to go to and what they want to do with their lives. I don’t know anything, and I’m scared. I’m scared of being left behind.

It’s stupid. I know they’re not going to abandon me, but at the same time, why would they want me to stay in their lives? I’m a terrible mage. Eight years at Watford; by now I thought maybe I would’ve learned how to actually do magic correctly. It’s not the school’s fault, it’s mine. I’m a grenade, just waiting to go off. And Crowley, I wish I would go off already and get it over with.

x baz x

By the time I get out of the shower, Snow’s passed out. He’s not wearing the school pajamas he always wears to sleep. Instead, he’s still in his school uniform, lying almost the exact same way he was before I left the room. I wonder what he was doing the whole time and what he was thinking about.

I stare down at him, his freckles wet and his nose red, his hair mussed and falling into his eyes. His blanket has fallen on the floor sometime while I was gone. I hesitate, staring down at him, before grabbing the blanket off the floor and pulling it up to his chin.  He doesn’t stir, which is good because again, I’d die of embarrassment.

I clear the notes off my bed, feeling only slightly annoyed at Snow for distracting me from my homework. In all honesty, he’s always a distraction for me, even when he’s not there. And I can’t be mad at someone for being upset, because I highly doubt he’d make himself cry just to spite me.

Once I’m under my blankets, it doesn’t take long for sleep to pull me under too.

THREE

x simon x

“How do I look?” Penny twirls around once and then plops down onto Baz’s bed in front of me. She’s wearing a mint dress that goes just past her knees, and a matching silk shawl is wrapped loosely around her elbows. Her feet are bare; she’s left her shoes in the bathroom.

“Majestic,” I comment, as I loosen my green-and-black tie.

She snorts, “I’m not a horse, Simon.”

“You’re not? That explains a lot, actually.” This earns me a whack in the face with a pillow, one of Baz’s pillows, thrown at me in a low arch. I immediately retaliate with one from my bed, throwing it so it just barely hits her cheek, causing her glasses to become askew. She squeaks, then laughs, grabbing Baz’s other pillow and jumping up from his bed, towering above me. She starts pummelling me in the shoulder with it repeatedly, and I try to kick her away from me.

“Mercy, Penny, Mercy!” I gasp, trying to catch a breath in between fits of laughter.

“Don’t call me a horse!” she giggles, every word accented by another hit in the shoulder. It doesn’t hurt.

I hear our door creak open and we freeze, eyes wide, Penny hovering over me, her pillowed hand pulled back, ready to strike again, my foot pressed to her stomach, my hand reaching for the pillow. He clears his throat, and we turn our heads toward the door.

Baz has never seen Penny in our room. For eight years, we’ve been careful to have her out of the room before he gets back, but I’ve been so distracted lately that things like that have been regularly slipping my mind. The three of us continue to stare at each other, as if time is actually frozen. Penny is the first to break the silence.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Simon.” She lowers her head and walks briskly out of the room, accidentally hitting Baz on the way. He squints when she goes past, then lifts his chin a little higher and locks eyes with me. I lift my chin in response, matching his expression as best as I can, although I’m not exactly sure what his expression is. My eyes dart to the right, making sure my wand is still resting on my bed, should I need it. I hear Baz snort.

“Do you really think I’d waste my time hurting you over that,” he says as he crosses the room. I have the striking suspicion that the ‘that’ he was referring to is Penny.

“I thought you were at football practice,” I said dumbly, trying to come up with an excuse as to why Penny would be in our room, even though I know that’s a bad one. I decide to ignore what he said and grab my wand anyway.

“I was. Obviously,” I look down at his uniform and feel embarrassed. He turns towards his wardrobe, and I relax a little. “How did Bunce get past the gender barrier?”

“I don’t know,” I say truthfully, twisting my wand in my lap.

“You don’t know?” He chortles, then turns around with his pajamas in hand, “I hope you realize I have ways of finding out.”

“Well, if you figure it out, please tell me.” Baz shakes his head, most likely still not believing that I don’t know how Penelope gets in the room, then goes into the bathroom.

Not even a second later, I hear him shout my name. “Snow!”

“What?” I push myself off the bed and open the bathroom door. I look up at him, then my eyes follow where he’s pointing. There’s a pile of Penny’s clothes on the floor; her button-up, her tie, her socks, her skirt.

“Those aren’t mine.”

“I guessed,” he stares at me. “Well?”

“Oh, right.” I start picking them up, and I see him fold his arms out of the corner of my eye.

“Could we speed up this process, maybe?” He taps his foot impatiently, like he has somewhere to be. Stupid, annoying prat.

I stop what I’m doing so I can stand up straight and stare hard at him, then I drop the clothes back onto the floor. He scoffs, reaching the other end of the tiny bathroom in one long stride, arriving just a couple inches in front of me, still scowling. Now that I’m this close to him, I can see that a few strands of hair is sticking to his forehead with sweat from practice, and there’s a vein on his forehead pulsating.

“Anathema!” I remind him, before he tries anything. I can tell he’s annoyed, which was my intention, but he’s already tried to kill me a couple times and I’d rather not  make this the third.

“I could get Bunce in so much trouble,” he starts, ignoring me. “Don’t press me, Snow. If you press me, I’ll press right back,” he presses his hand to my chest as he says this, then pushes me out of the room and closes the door in my face before I can react.

“Are you just going to keep Penny’s clothes, then?” I call through it, a strange image of Baz in Penny’s clothes appearing in my head. I hear Baz let out an annoyed groan, and the next thing I know, the door flings open. Penny’s clothes come flying out at me and one of her shoes bounces off of the top of my head.

“Anathema,” I mutter, rubbing my head, but I know that he didn’t mean to actually hit me- at least, I don’t think that he did- and therefore the Anathema won’t affect him.

FOUR

x baz x

I wouldn’t actually rat out Bunce; I couldn’t care less about how it would affect her, but I know tattling would make Snow too upset. Besides, it’s more trouble than it’s worth, talking to the Mage, and I don’t think she’ll be coming back anymore anyways.

He’s been spending a lot of time with her lately, I’ve noticed. Snow always follows around Bunce like a puppy on a short leash, but usually Wellbelove is hovering somewhere close by. I haven’t seen her with them for the past few days.

Not that I spend all of my free-time stalking Snow; it’s just hard to ignore his bouncing head of curls in the hall or his boisterous voice on the lawn, and I notice things.

I look over at Snow sitting just a couple seats next to me. We’re in our Ancient Runes class, the only class I share with him. It’s a pretty pointless subject, considering nobody actually uses this magic anymore. But it’s a required one, and thankfully, a pretty easy one. I spend most of the class staring out the window and wishing I was almost anywhere else, with the monotone voice of the professor as background noise to my thoughts.

Snow is scribbling notes lazily with his fountain pen, occasionally looking up to see if our professor has broken his lecture to write anything important on the board (spoiler alert: he hasn’t). Sometimes he’ll furrow his eyebrows and stare down at his paper before scratching something out then writing furiously over it. How Snow can remain animated in a class as boring as this one is beyond me, but I’m glad he does.

I feel vulnerable staring at him in class, but he’s the most interesting thing happening at the moment. He’s always the most interesting thing happening, but now that my choices are limited to watching him or watching dust settle on the windowsill, this is even more true.

I look past him and see that Wellbelove is staring at me. Well, that’s odd. She notices that I’m looking at her and flushes. She dips her head down to look at her notes, and I do the same.

Oh Merlin. There’s ink on my hand and my notes are smudged; tiny little hearts are scattered in the margins. Is… is that why Wellbelove was staring at me? She couldn’t have seen what I was doing (I didn’t even see what I was doing)- she’s sitting too far away.  

After class is over and I’m almost out the door, I see Wellbelove rush from her seat towards me. “Wait- Basilton!”

There’s no chance for me to pretend I didn’t hear her- we’re the only people left in the classroom. I sigh and turn to her, “yes, Wellbelove?”

“I…” she takes her place in front of me and we end up standing beside the classroom door. “Y-you were staring at Simon. You’re not going to hurt him, are you?”

I laugh harshly, pleased with Wellbelove’s assumption. “If I was going to hurt him, wouldn’t that be only my business and his?” I start walking, hoping she won’t follow. Not much luck there.

I make long strides, and Agatha’s feminine legs struggle to keep up with mine. I can still hear her chasing after me once I’ve made it outside. Can’t she take a hint?

“Stand Your Ground!” I hear her cast, and I groan. Apparently taking a hint is not one of Wellbelove’s many talents. She circles around me, throwing her long blonde hair over one shoulder.

“What are you planning?” She demands, pointing her wand at my chest. I don’t say anything, not at all intimidated by her. She gets frustrated quickly. “Look, Simon is my b- my friend, and as his friend, it’s my duty to protect him.”

“Duty? He’s not a damsel in distress, you know- wait, did you say ‘friend’?” I smirk, not missing the way her voice faltered, like it pained her to say it. Did Snow and Wellbelove break up? Well, that would explain why he wasn’t as chipper as usual this morning before class. Usually he makes every noise possible while getting ready, but today, I actually slept an extra half-hour.

“I… That’s not your business,” Wellbelove mumbles sheepishly, shrinking back from me.

“Oh, so now we’re supposed to respect what is and isn’t someone’s business?”

She sighs. “You know, if you weren’t so… you… maybe more people would actually want to spend time with you.”

“Yeah? Like who?”

“Like me.”

I don’t mean to laugh, but that doesn’t stop me from doing it, anyway. “You? So that’s what this is really about? A social call? What, next are you going to ask me to the ball?”

Wellbelove doesn’t respond, just lowers her wand from my chest and stares at the grass.

“Merlin, you were! I can’t believe this! Well, I’m sorry to decline your offer, Wellbelove, but I actually planned on going alone. I’m sure you’ll have no trouble at all finding someone else at this school who would love to go to the ball with someone such as yourself.”

“Why do you always have to be so mean, Basilton? I’m sorry I asked, okay? Is that what you want? This was a… a mistake. I’ll just... leave.” Her voice is shaky, and if she starts crying, I’m going to feel like the worst person on the planet.

“Wait, Agatha… I didn’t mean to make you upset. I really do mean that there are plenty of other people who would love to go with you, if what you’re implying about Simon and yourself are true.” She nodded. “I guess you’re right….”

“Good. Now, undo the spell, please, and if this ends up affecting my ability to play football… then you’re really going to see how mean I can be.”

FIVE

x simon x

The thunder crackles around me, lightning illuminating our room through the window in rapid intervals like a polaroid camera. It’s the kind of storm that rattles windowpanes and makes you think there’s a war waging upon your doorstep with every boom of thunder.

I had dozed off with my face pressed against an open library book, and the thunder wakes me with a start, almost knocking me from my desk chair. My cheek feels sticky from what I assume is the result of my face being stuck to a page, but looking down at my book I realize it’s from the small puddle of drool I’ve created while asleep. It distorts some of the words on the already-yellow page. Gross.

After I stop gagging at my uncultured sleeping habits, I notice the windowpane is, in fact, rattling. Shit. I fully intended to close it once I saw the gray cumulonimbus clouds passing over the courtyard, but I was only really expecting a little bit of rain, not an all out flood.

No matter the circumstances, I pull the window close and assess the damage. The floor in front of it is soaked, and though it’s on my side of the room, I know Baz is going to be pissed when he finds out. I throw a towel over it, accomplishing almost nothing, then I decide that it looks suspicious and I dump a pile of dirty clothes on top of it. I can already hear Baz’s ‘I told you so’ tone about always leaving the window open, even though when it’s closed the room gets sticky and hot. The hotness may not bother him, with his constant chill, but I can’t stand it.

Mentioning of Baz, where is he? Surely he can’t still be in the catacombs when it’s pouring like this? I try to get a glimpse out the window when the lightning flashes, but even with the light, the rain is so heavy that it’s impossible to see anything.

I check the clock on my laptop and see that it’s close to midnight, which means I’ve been asleep for a good few hours, which means Baz has been gone for more than a good few hours. Where is he?

x baz x

There’s a lot to be said about someone who asks their dead mother’s grave for advice about a ball they hardly want to go to. I know she probably can’t hear me, but she’s the only person I’d want to talk to about all this. The only person I trust.

“Maybe you could take Fiona,” I say outloud to myself. “She’s young-looking enough to pass as a student. But what fresh ways of embarrassing me could she come up with?”

Because of this, I’ve been down here for far longer than usual. I usually leave once I feel full, but tonight I just feel like being alone. It’s quiet here, and nobody ever bothers me (except for Snow, but he hasn’t followed me here in ages). It’s almost peaceful enough that I could just lean my head against a wall and doze off….

I’m not completely asleep when I hear the first crack of thunder. I stand up swiftly, swaying with the quickness of it, and start walking back to the Mummers house.

I can see rather well in the dark, but the sheets of rain and the wind slow me down a little. My clothes must be ruined; I can tell I’m soaked to the bone because this is the coldest I’ve felt in a while. I fling open the door, not caring if I wake Snow up, focused on getting into something dry and warm.

x simon x

The door flings open and a flash of lightning backdrops a shadow that I don’t recognize as Baz at first, with his hair hanging like curtains in front of his eyes giving him the appearance of something from a horror movie. He stomps into the room leaving a trail of water behind him, and suddenly I don’t feel so bad about leaving the window open. His white shirt is clinging to him, and I can see through it to his pale torso. He looks like shit; I’ve never seen him so messy and uncomposed like this before.

I watch wordlessly as he shuffles through his wardrobe, grumbles something, then walks into the bathroom.

He’s back not even a minute later, and announces “Powers out.”

“I’m not surprised.” Only the plumbing runs on electricity at Watford; we use candles for lighting inside the dorms and the school buildings. The candles are magic and they don’t melt or need to be relit. I watch from the edge of my bed as he walks in front of me and opens a drawer to my wardrobe.

“What the hell are you doing?” I pop up and push the drawer closed, and he pulls his hands back in surprise, most likely because I was only a hair off from squashing his fingers.

He brings a hand up to his forehead and runs it through his hair, trying to slick it back. Most of it just falls back into his eyes again. I try not to laugh.

“I need a towel,” when he pushes his hair back the second time, I can see the whites of his eyes are slightly red, and I almost feel sorry for him.

“Oh,” I blatantly glance over at the spot by the window and then back up at him. “Er, I don’t have any more.”

He ignores me and tries to open my drawer again. “Hey! Did you even hear me? Stop trying to open my drawer.”

“Why, is that where you keep your skirts?” He smirks.

“No, because I don���t like you touching my stuff,” I say, frowning, my sympathy and patience for him leaving as quickly as it came. “And that was Penny’s!”

“Well, I don’t like you being in the same room as me, but you learn to deal with these things,” he retorts. I keep my hand pressed firmly against the drawer as he tries to open it again.

With a groan of frustration, he removes his hands and turns to me. Suddenly, his hand is on top of mine, and the cold wetness of his skin and the fact that he’s touching me leaves me too shocked to move. When he laces his fingers with mine, I yank my hand away and blink up at him.

Satisfied, he pushes past my socks and boxers, like I have a secret hoard of towels tucked away at the bottom of the drawer. My cheeks feel hot. With a soft “hm” he closes the drawer.

“I… I wasn’t lying,” I stutter. My cheeks feel really hot. I wish I could open the window without letting in the still raging storm, but I doubt that would help the storm raging in my stomach.

Baz crosses over me and produces pajama bottoms and a plain white polo from his wardrobe. My eyes follow him the entire way; he’s still dripping onto the carpet. “Snow, close your mouth. It makes you look ridiculous. Not that you don’t anyways.”

I feel sick, and I don’t know why. Maybe he hypnotized me or did some weird vampire magic that doesn’t require him to speak. Either way, I want it to stop. “I… I need some fresh air.” I sway, taking a step forward towards the door.

“It’s still raining. Or did you manage to forget? If anyone could, it’d be you.” Baz unceremoniously reaches behind himself and pulls his shirt over his head. He never gets dressed in the room, at least not when I’m around to see.

His torso is what you’d expect from someone who regularly plays football. He’s got muscle, but he’s still fairly lean, and he’s paler there than anywhere else. He doesn’t look bad, which isn’t really surprising considering how much pride he seems to take in his appearance.

All of this is so unlike him; the getting-dressed-in-front-of-me, the touching, his deep blue-water gray eyes looking red and glazed over to make a pale silver. Of course! The weird vampire magic wasn’t done to me, it was done to him! As much as I loathe Baz, I’d rather have him as a roommate than this imposter whose intentions I have no way of knowing.

My eyes widen as this creature throws the shirt onto his- no, not his- Baz’s bed, and I’m reaching for my wand faster than you can say Out, out, brief candle! Which I do, shrouding the room in darkness.

SIX

x baz x

“Merlin, Snow, what did you do that for?” I blink, my eyes adjusting to the darkness within a few seconds. I know Snow can’t see me, because he’s pointing his wand at least half a foot away from where I’m actually standing. He’s also holding it with both hands, his arms as outstretched as they’ll go without turning himself into elastigirl.

“What have you done with him? ...or to him, whatever,” his voice is resolute and final, like it’s definite that I know who ‘him’ is. I slowly pull on my shirt, careful not to make any noise in the process.

“Him who? What are you--”

“You know who! “ He shouts, his wand bobbing up and down with each syllable.

“Voldemort?” I smirk. “That’s not even the right fando-”

“See! Baz would never so blatantly break the fourth wall like that!”

“Baz-?” I start, but he cuts me off before I can even finish my sentence.

“Basilton Grimm-Pitch.”

“I’m… I’m right here?”

“RRRGGHH!!” Snow growls, pitching forward with a level of intensity and determination that I have never seen from him before-- and that’s saying something. He rams his foot into the edge of my bed and lets out a wail, dropping his wand and falling to floor.

I hastily pull my wand out of my trouser pocket and murmur If Only One Remembers to Turn on The Light, because for some reason, the only thing I can continue to think about while Snow is acting crazy is Harry Potter. The candles flicker again. He looks up at me like a wounded puppy, then hardens his expression and quickly reaches for his wand. He points it at me again, and stands, the toes on his left foot curled. “Don’t come any closer!”

I hold up both hands in surrender. “I haven’t moved a muscle since you ran at me.”

“Drop your wand!,” he says, and although it’s not a spell, I obey like it is, letting my wand fall unto the bed. “Where is he?” he demands again.

“Are you sure you haven’t got me confused with another Basilton Grimm-Pitch you know?”

“I won’t let you hurt him,” Snow pushes on, ignoring me. “and I’ll hurt you if you don’t tell me what you did.” He steps forward, and now his face is so close to mine that I can see each and every individual freckle on his nose.

“I didn’t… I mean, I am Baz-” he cuts me off by lightly pressing the tip of his wand into my neck.

“Don’t make me do this.”

“Simon,” I whisper, slowly moving my hand to push his wand down. His hand drops, and his eyes widen. I expect him to jump back, but he stays staring up at me. He’s breathing hard; I can feel his breath on my neck. Its warmness pools somewhere below my bellybutton.  

“So then… you are Baz?”

“Of course I am. And I’m very touched that you’d be willing to hurt someone for me, but you and I both know that you couldn’t do much damage with your wand.” I wait for him to protest, to spit at me and tell me to go fuck myself, but he doesn’t move.  “Who else would I be?”

“I just thought… I thought…,” he swallows, his eyes still wide.

“You thought…?” I try not to stare at his slightly-parted lips as I wait for his answer. He’s so close to me and I don’t really trust myself not to do anything about it, so I grab his elbow and push him back a little. Just a step; I don’t want him too far from me. He doesn’t flinch when I touch him, so I don’t move my hand.

He doesn’t respond. “Well, whatever it is, you thought wrong.”

Now he’s blinking, his eyes pinned to my chest, staring right through me. It’s like someone’s cast a Stay, Stay, Good Boy! on him. “Snow? Are you okay?” A-and I’m asking because I’m concerned, not because I- how did you put it?- ‘pity you’.”

He looks up at me as if he’s just come out of a trance. “I’m fine,” he squares his shoulders and I drop my arm before he realizes it’s there.

“I don’t think you are. Your face is really red, do I need to get someone-”

“No, don’t. I’m fine. I don’t want you running after me; if I needed something, I’d get it myself. I don’t need  you.”

“I never said you did…,.” I mumble, but he’s already walking away from me. I feel like our conversation is over, and now we’re going to go back to ignoring each other for the rest of the night. Now that we started talking, I certainly don’t want to stop. I never want to stop talking to Snow, but something feels… different tonight. I’m worried about him, if I’m being honest.

I emerge from the bathroom, changed into my jeans, feeling dryer and warmer. My hair is clumping together and falling in my eyes, but I guess I’ll just have to deal.

“Me and Agatha broke up.”

“I-- what?”

“The other day.”

“Okay?”

“She said it was because of you.”

I sit down on the edge of my bed, parallel to him. He’s sitting on the edge of his, too, his elbows digging into his thighs and his hands in his hair. I wait for him to look up at me, but he never does. I wonder if that would hurt more.

“I don’t know why she would say that,” I admit, thoroughly confused. Wellbelove didn’t speak to me until after the two of them had broken up.

“That’s all she told me.”

“Oh. Well… she did try to ask me to the ball…,” I offer, not wanting to keep any secrets from him.

“What?!” His head snaps up, and there’s more heat in his eyes than in all the lit candles in the room combined. I hold up my hands in surrender.

“I didn’t do anything, Simon. I don’t like her in the slightest, and even if I did, I wouldn’t do anything about it. It’s not honorable to pine after someone who's in a relationship, though, sometimes you can’t exactly choose who you fall for….”

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience.” He’s right. I shrug.

He sighs, then falls back onto his mattress with a soft thud, thoroughly breaking our brief moment of eye contact. “Man. This sucks. I’m going to the ball alone, and my ex-girlfriend is going to it with my roommate.”

I laugh. “Simon, I told her no.”

Simon sits up again, leaning forward towards me from his bed. He’s a little too close for my liking. “You did? But why?”

Despite this, I do nothing to widen the distance between us. “I told you. I don’t like her.”

And neither does he. But what he does do, is smile. I can’t help it; I smile too. “Well, this sucks considerably less, but it still sucks. I still have no one to go with.”

“What about Bunce?”

“She didn’t want to say she’s going with me then feel bad later when she inevitably spends most of the night talking to Agatha.”

I nod. After a moment of silence, I speak again, “I could go with you.”

“Um,” is all he says. Then he blinks and leans back away from me.

“I…,” I start, then stop again. I don’t know how to dig myself out of that hole. Thankfully, I don’t have to.

“You know what? Sure. My week has already been awful; what harm is this going to bring? And anyway, we won’t have to ever see each other again afterward.”

I nod, unable to speak, my stomach twisting for more reasons than one.

SEVEN

x simon x

“Sorry,” I say as I look down to tie my bowtie.

“Why?” Baz asks, already completely ready, waiting for me at the door.

“First off, for taking so long, second off, for us not matching. Agatha’s dress was… what did she call it? Chartreuse? Anyway, I thought it was an ugly color, but I didn’t tell her that.”

“It’s alright. Your tie is still crooked, though.” The usual snarky comments from Baz have returned, but this time, it’s not said with any snark at all. It feels weird. It’s like eating a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich without the peanut butter. Though, I suppose that’d just be toast.

“Rrrrgh!,” I growl in frustration, not sure exactly how to tie a bowtie. Or any tie, for that matter. “Can you just tie it for me?”

“Um…” Baz looks me up and down, then furrows his eyebrows. “I-- I guess, yeah.”

He helps me, his hands shaking slightly for some reason, then we’re ready to leave.

Though we’re not linking arms or doing anything to really draw attention to ourselves, some of the people look surprised to see Baz and I walk through the door together, including Penny, and especially Agatha. I hover awkwardly in the doorway for a bit while Baz goes over to the table filled with finger foods. Penny leaves Agatha for a moment to come talk to me.

“Hey, Simon...,” she begins, slowly. Then, all at once, “can I just ask--”

“It’s not a big deal.” I shrug. And it isn’t. And it shouldn’t be. We just walked through the door together; nobody should be reading too much into it. “I know I’m not going to be spending most of the night with you guys, so--”

“Hey, no, don’t even say that. I’m still here for you, no matter what. You were my friend first, okay? I’m not taking sides.”

I frown. “How can you even say that, Penny? How can you say that, when you ditched me for her.”

“Simon, we were getting ready!”

“All weekend?”

“It’s what girls do, Simon.” She rolls her eyes, and I hate that she decided to wear her purple glasses with her mint-green dress, and I hate how beautiful I still think she looks in her dress even though I’m angry at her. I hate that our friendship is falling apart at this very moment, and it’s all my fault somehow. Most of all, I hate that I’m not actually angry at her. I’m sad, and I just don’t know how to handle that.

So instead, I don’t. I walk away from her, pressing the ball of my palm into my left eye. This was supposed to be our final adventure at Watford. I was supposed to be making small talk with Penny and Agatha about our outfits and plans for the future, but instead, I’m walking away from whatever friendship I had with them and trying not to cry.

I bump into someone, and for the first time in forever, I’m glad to see that it’s Baz. “Simon? Are you okay?”

I nod, even though it’s a lie that I know Baz will see right through. “I’m fine, I just… Penny was.…”

He looks disappointed in me and I feel ashamed. “You didn’t try to talk to her, did you?”

I nod again.

He sighs and offers me the sour cherry scone I didn’t realize he was holding. “Here. I know they’re your favorite.”

“You do?”

“Mm-hm,” Baz says, offering no other explanation. Nevertheless, I take it and thank him, eating it in only three bites.

The loud, upbeat music stops, and for a few seconds, spare for the quiet chatter here and there, it’s quiet. Then it’s replaced by a slower song, which I wouldn’t know until later was “Anathema” by Twenty One Pilots (I always wouldn’t realize how fitting it was until much later, too).

“Come on, Baz. Let’s go dance,” I say grabbing his hand. He flinches, then slips his hand into mine, lacing our fingers together until we get toward the middle of the dance floor, where he then moves his both hands to my shoulders.

“Why? Why are you slow dancing with me? You hate me.” He practically spits the word out, but his voice is sad. I shake my head.

“I don’t hate you, Baz.”

“Since when?”

I shrug from under his hands. “I don’t know. Do I have to figure that out now? I just want to live in this moment.”

He nods. “Okay, Simon.”

“Okay, now it’s my turn to ask: since when?”

“What?”

“Since when have I become Simon to you?”

“You’ve always been Simon to me. You’ve always been a lot to me, actually, but I didn’t really realize what exactly I thought of you until fifth year.”

“I don’t really understand what you mean,” I admit.

“Simon.” He slides one of his hands up from my shoulder to my cheek. It’s cold, and I’m pretty sure he can feel my heart thudding heavily in my cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

I swallow. I don’t think I realize what I’m agreeing to once I say yes, but Baz certainly does. And as he kisses me, I don’t feel like the Leavers Ball was my final adventure at Watford.  

It’s only the beginning of a new one with Baz.

[rachelspy6978-blog]

abby winters - Why I Hate Abby Winters Backstage

I knew I shouldn't be nervous. Mom helped me get it on my toenails without smearing. She seemed a little nervous and that made me nervous. By Friday after school, the butterflies in my stomach were in full flight. " "Dan and a few of the other asshole jocks tried to give us shit one day.

"I was curious," Mom started. He basically told Dan he'd rip off both of his balls if he spoke to us again. " Mom frowned, but I could tell she was amused as well. I couldn't keep the stupid grin off my face. His mother threatened to sue us until I pointed out her little angel was engaged in sexual harassment at the time you nut-checked him. " "I didn't know she called.

"God, don't hurt Dan again. "Do any of the kids at school have a problem with you and Sam being a couple? You remember the big catcher on the softball team? Mom and I sat in the living room while I put the dark blue polish on my fingernails. Don't let him goad you or Sam into doing anything tonight. Once she figured out he could get expelled for doing that, she dropped it.

" I worried that I might have gotten myself in more trouble than I thought if Dan's mother was calling around. I think he liked Sam until he figured out she was gay, but instead of being an asshole about it, he just became her good friend. "It wasn't important to tell you since she backed down, but that family is like a reality TV show. " Sam wasn't the only out girl in school, but she was the only one I liked.

They won't let anything happen to us. She finished with my toes and I rested my heels on the coffee table while my nails dried fully. The gay guys had a harder time than we did by a long shot, but I didn't want to worry Mom more by telling her that. Sam had asked if I could stay in her room after the dance, abby winters step aerobics but I wasn't sure if Dad would let me.

"Hey, would be okay if I stayed with Sam after the dance? Being out was a lot harder when I was in school and college. Mom flipped channels on the couch next to me, so I figured I'd give it a shot with her alone first. That way you guys wouldn't have to come get me since Joe can't go tonight. " "Yeah, but you let Sam stay over last weekend.

" "I won't," I promised. " I gave her my cutest grin. "You know what we would say if you were dating a guy. And I also told you to keep it quiet up there. " She gave me a blank look. "I had to keep your father distracted for about an hour. " I felt the heat burn right up my neck. " I couldn't believe she just told me that. " "We weren't that loud.

" "Yeah, but I don't want to hear about it. "How did you think you and Joe got here? " The idea made me shiver. " I hadn't considered that. " "And that's how your father feels about someone being with you. " "I was worried about that part of things. Not that I'm complaining. It must be as gross for him as it had been for me listening to Joe was going through a what's-her-name a week.

" Mom rolled her eyes and tilted her head to look at me. " I asked, still holding out hope. "So does that mean I can stay with Sam? " "How about I pack an overnight bag just in case. I put on thin, red cotton panties and matching bra. " Mom chuckled and shook her head. The red wasn't a perfect match to the red squares on the gingham top, but it was close enough.

" After my nails were dry, I hopped upstairs to pack and dress. My skinny jeans wouldn't go on the outside of the old brown boots, so I tucked them inside. "The softball team treats me like their little sister, especially Simon.

"I'll talk to your dad about it and let you know. I put on slightly more blush and eye shadow than I usually wore, but didn't over do it. Getting the boots on required laying back on the bed and pulling until straps nearly broke.

Sam and I had bought matching shades of red lipstick at the mall so we could kiss without anyone knowing from the mismatched smears of color. I had breasts now that filled the cups of my bra. Looking at myself in the mirror, I had to admit that Sam's drawing was Abby Winters Limo closer to reality than my own internal perspective. I teased my hair out a little with a hair dryer, spraying to keep it from falling back into its usual straight blonde lines.

My jeans were a touch too small, but they didn't give me a muffin top so I wore them anyway. I put on the red top and tied it off under my bra. " I turned to find Joe staring at me with wide eyes. " "You've gotta have fun for both of us tonight," he said when I pulled back.

"Who the hell are you and what have you done with my kid sister? The pretty woman looking back at me from the mirror barely resembled the person I expected to see. I smoothed away the mark of my lips with my thumb and smiled at his goofy embarrassed expression. " He shrugged and backed away.

" Dad did a double take when I walked down the stairs with my overnight bag. When I turned in the mirror, I had to admit my ass was working in those tight jeans. For a second I thought he was going to protest what I was wearing, but Mom had been there when we bought everything and had warned him about what we'd planned.

"I wish you could go, abby winters masturbating too. " I jumped in his arms to hug him tight and kiss his cheek, leaving red lip prints behind. My stomach was flat and smooth. " "Let's go," Mom said as she walked to the door. I gave him a quick hug while Mom got her purse and keys. " "And I wish I hadn't been a dumbass. " For Dad, that was effusive praise.

My stomach was flipping over from the nerves. The drive to school seemed to take forever. " "Hey, that reminds me. He visibly swallowed and nodded, then grumbled, "You look great. "All these years I dreamed someone like Mark would take me and now I'm going with Sam. I know we told Joe he couldn't have friends over while he was grounded, but it seems like something else is going on.

I don't even see them speak to each other in passing anymore. You'd have to ask him. Mom must have picked up on my anxiety. Even though I knew it would never work out between us, it still burned me that he'd lied. Yeah, things hadn't been normal for a couple of months. " "Do you know if Bethany is going tonight? " "I can't believe I'm going to my first dance," I laughed.

"Sounds like a good idea. Do you know what happened between Mark and Joe? " Mom glanced at me as if my tone had given something away. Mark was probably picking up Lydia. If she is, she'll probably be going with Collen. " "She's being stupid and won't listen to me. "I didn't mean to bring you down on your big night.

" "Is she sleeping with him? "Yeah," I said, knowing it would get back to her Mom. Mom just took a deep breath as she turned into the school loop. I'm not as nervous now," I said and gave her a thin smile. " My door opened and I looked up to see Sam holding out her hand to help me out of the car.

"You don't sound happy about that. "And you can stay here tonight, but I want you to call me when you go back to Sam's room so I know you're safe. " Sam shut the door and Mom pulled away. When I turned, Sam was staring at me like I was a luscious scoop of ice cream. " "I figured I'd wait until after Joe wasn't grounded anymore to see if things go back to normal first.

I gave her a quick kiss and said, "You do, too. "Thanks for everything. " "Have fun," Mom said as she pulled up to stop. "Good evening, Misses Larson," Sam said to Mom. " Sam walked me into a lunch room that had been transformed into a country barn, complete with bales of hay and paper on the walls painted to look like rough cut wood.

Country music blasted from the DJ's speakers and a few brave couples were on the dance floor. " "So you ready to cut a rug? "Sho 'nuff, sugar pants," I replied. "Have fun tonight, you two. " She was wearing Mom's boots, but otherwise looked like my darker, blue-banged twin. " she said, affecting a southern twang as she picked up my overnight back without comment.

" Sam tossed my overnight bag under a table near the dance floor. "Plus, it kept me from going crazy all afternoon. Simon helped me get that reddish-brown paper taped up, then I added streaks of red and black to make wood grain and knot holes. Tables were set up around the room with centerpieces made of red ribbon, green pine needles, and battery powered tea lights which gave the dark room an intimate glow.

" I realized then she'd been just as nervous as I'd been. You've got to try the brisket. " "I painted the walls. "What part did you do? " We nibbled as we wandered around talking to people. Some hadn't heard we were going out, but I discovered it was fun to watch their reactions when I told them Sam was my girlfriend. I tried to let Sam lead, but she didn't know what she was doing either.

We ended up just swaying to the music. While we were swaying together later in the evening, I caught Mark giving me a pained look over Lydia's shoulder. "They catered in barbeque. "Would you stop staring at her? We even took a few turns on the dance floor. I just shut my eyes and squeezed Sam tighter. It also escaped the notice of the chaperones who would have broken us up if they'd seen.

Sam pulled back to see what Lydia was yelling about. She was a trained singer after all, so it was no surprise she could make herself heard. " I heard Lydia's shrill voice cutting through the music. I knew he was lying because I knew he'd been staring at me. " I tugged at Sam's arm to lead her off the dance floor. I opened my eyes to find Lydia and Mark squared off in the middle of the dance floor.

"I wasn't staring at anyone," Mark lied. " "Your brother's best friend? " I just nodded as we got back to our seats. She kissed my neck under my hair, which made me giggle. " I squeezed her hand as she pulled me to the refreshments table. " she whispered in my ear as we went. I really didn't want to have that particular discussion in the middle of the school dance, but I wouldn't lie to her. He must not have groveled enough, because she jerked her arm away from him and stalked towards our table.

Mark tried to calm Lydia and move her off the dance floor, but she wasn't having it. Sam stood before Lydia could get close and raised her arms like she wasn't going to let Lydia get past her. Thankfully, the music drowned out their voices so I didn't have to hear what she was saying about him or me.

"I already have everything I want. "You can have him," Lydia shouted over Sam's shoulder at me. I took a big drink of my soda while Sam kept her eyes on the fight. "No thanks," I said as I stood up and put my arms around Sam from behind.

Mark looked between me and Lydia, then ran to follow Lydia out the door. She stormed off and hit the exit bar with both hands, making the door to the parking lot clank loudly. " "Whatever your problem is," Sam growled, "It doesn't involve us.

"Sorry," I murmured to Sam. " Lydia looked like she wanted to say something else, but was thrown off by our response. "You didn't do anything. " Her face was clouded as she glared at the closed door they'd gone through. "Do you want to talk about it? Talking about it would only ruin our night.

Sam pulled me back to our seats and kept her arm around my shoulders. I was stupid and naive to ever believe him. "Let's go get our picture taken! "I couldn't see why you were so fixated on her, but I'm starting to figure it out. " I glanced around and spotted the photographer was free for the first time since I'd arrived.

The guy who was taking the pictures looked to be college age, but had a professional looking camera and large light defusers. I had to admit a teeny-tiny part of me wanted him to pick me for once, even if I just turned him down afterwards.

" Sam grinned and pulled me to my feet. We skipped over to the set where other couples had been lined up all night to have their picture taken. We gave our names together while trying to get comfortable on that scratchy bale of hay. " Sam asked with a big grin.

They sat on a hay bale in front of a painted backdrop of a wooden fence and fields. Sam put her arm around my waist and hooked a finger in my belt loop. I leaned into her and smiled as the guy lined up the shot. "Yeah, what are your names so I can tag you," he said as he grabbed a tablet. Just before he took the picture, I turned and kissed Sam's cheek, keeping my lips there until the shutter snapped.

It felt wonderful to be protected and accepted. She had an odd look on her face as she studied my eyes. That made the guy laugh and shake his head. "Go on and kiss her if you want to, I don't care. None of the abby winters.com winters backstage chaperones had noticed. We held the pose as our lips moved against each other. " I laughed and kissed her with as much passion as I felt.

" I took that as permission and turned Sam in my arms. Sam thanked the photographer before answering with a wry smile. "A secret from my parents. " "What was it before? "Well, now it's official. " I pulled her back to the dance floor.

It felt so right in her arms. Sam squeezed me just as tightly until a fast song came on, then we made our way back to our table. I had just taken a sip of my soda when I spotted Sophie headed our way with Dan following along wearing a sour look on his face. The camera kept snapping until we parted from laughing too hard.

"Can you take our picture? There was couple that was made for each other. I pressed our breasts together and hummed the tunes in her ear. We clung to each other through the slow love songs. She was a viper and I wouldn't give her or Dan any more ammunition.

"I see you couldn't hang on to Mark either," Sophie said with bitter bite. Sam touched my cheek with a broad grin. "I don't know what you're talking about. "I knew something was going on between you two. I nudged Sam and indicated their approach with my chin.

" I asked like I was confused. " "Well, he's not much of a guy," Sophie said with a roll of her eyes while Dan laughed like it was funny. "I don't know if you noticed, but I'm not really into guys. " Sam said as she jumped into the conversation at last. " The lie slipped out easily.

"Look, I don't care what you think you know or don't know—" Simon walked up at that moment and dropped a firm hand on Dan's shoulder. Sophie raised an eyebrow at her. "Dan, I believe we've talked about you bothering Sam and Steph before. "Last warning," Simon said as he pushed Dan, but Sophie jerked her arm away.

I had to bite my tongue to keep from correcting her. " "Fuck," Dan muttered as he took Sophie's arm and tried to pull her away. He had his arms crossed and was frowning at Sam and I. He looked down at Sophie with an amused smirk. "Who the hell do you think you are? " she yelled at Simon.

" Sophie glanced at Dan as if for support. Simon was taller and wider than all of us. "And Lydia confirmed it tonight. " When I nodded, she reached under the table for my overnight bag. We walked hand-in-hand to the stairwell that led up to her room. "I'm the guy who's gonna rip Dan's balls off if you don't leave my friends alone.

"Thanks, Simon," Sam chuckled as she clapped him on his shoulder. "Me, too," I said, feeling more nervous than I expected. As she led me upstairs, I felt the warmth building in my stomach. "On that note, how about we call it a night? "I had fun," Sam said as she opened the door to her room. Despite the drama, I'd had a great time at the dance with Sam. She slipped her shirt off and dropped it to the floor, leaving her lace bra open for inspection.

"I need to call Mom real quick," I whispered and headed to her room phone. "We finished dancing and are up in Sam's room. She dropped my overnight bag on the bed and began to untie her shirt with a sultry expression. She kept undressing, never taking her eyes off me. We didn't have to sneak into her room this time because most of the staff had gone home or was chaperoning the dance.

" Sophie looked like she had a mouthful of bees when Dan dragged her off. " "Oh, we're not finished by a long shot," Sam whispered, but I think Mom heard her anyway. When Mom answered, I nearly forgot how to talk. "Is Sam distracting you? "Yes, nine," Mom chuckled. When she lowered the zipper, I saw she wasn't wearing any underwear. " I watched Sam unbutton her jeans with her lower lip pinched between her teeth.

Then she palmed her breasts and tweaked her nipples until they stood out. "I'll be by to get you around nine, so don't stay up all night. For some reason, knowing she had been commando under her jeans all night had me ready to purr. "Uh-huh," Mom said with a smile in her voice. Sam toed off her boots before pushing her jeans down. " "I'll let you go, then. " Mom was still chuckling when she hung up.

We were grinning at each other the whole time. " "Nine," I repeated tonelessly as Sam's bra dropped from her fingertips. And when I sucked her soft skin into my mouth, her hands went down to pull my hips into hers. While I raced to catch up, she came to help me with my buttons and zippers.

"No, I like you a little salty," I said. Her mouth wasn't salty, but I could taste hints of her soda and barbeque sauce when my tongue slipped inside. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard," Sam whispered as she let me lick along her neck. She gripped my hair to force my head back so she could lick my neck in return.

I couldn't stop the whimper I made when she stopped to suck along abby winters limo my shoulder. The words made me shiver in her arms. "You're right," she whispered against the wet skin. She was salty where I kissed my way abby winters.com abbie winters step aerobics to her earlobe. "I like it when you're a little salty. " Then she pushed me back until I fell on her bed with a giggle. "So come and have a taste.

The skin of my arms and legs broke into prickles as waves of pleasure rolled over my body. I felt the tickle of her soft hairs against my bare mons. "Do you mind if I try something? " I ran my fingertips up my opening thighs and slipped them through my wet slit. " When she stepped close enough, she grabbed my hand and brought them up to her lips.

She pulled out a pink wand with a rounded tip. Before Sam climbed into the narrow bed with me, she opened the draw of her night stand. " she asked with a nervous smile. " "Finally, something I can teach you! Then she sucked my fingers while her eyes never left mine. She hummed and tasted me back while our nipples rubbed together. " Sam giggled as she got into bed. I sat up on my elbows when Sam removed it from her mouth.

"I trust you," I whispered as I turned to make room on the bed for us both. She sucked on it some more while I moved my legs open in preparation. "I've never used one of those before. "Oh my God," I groaned as she penetrated me slowly. I knew what Mark had felt like, but the pink wand was thinner and longer than he had been. It was cold and hard, but filled me up with a vibrating sensation that went up to my stomach.

"Oh, I like fucking you," Sam whispered as she moved the wand inside me. I couldn't move beyond the quivering that gripped me. My eyes shut on their own as my head rolled back. When she slipped it between her lips to wet it, I knew what it was. The buzzing got louder as she moved the tip toward me. The first touch made me gasp. When she bent to take my nipple into her hot mouth, I cried out and pushed against her strokes.

She probed deeper inside me and hit that magical spot with the blunt tip. I was lost in the kiss and orgasm for what seemed like hours. Her mouth caught my scream as the buzzing toy pushed me over and held me there. It pulled the heat from deep inside and brought me to the edge in an instant. She fucked me gently at first, then with firmer strokes.

" Sam asked with an evil grin. "There," I gasped and gripped the sheets. " She moved up to kiss me as I reached the edge. Then she eased it out of me and I sighed in relief as the orgasm passed as tremors.