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zot3-flopped · 2 months ago

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There's a piece on the Daily Mail that gives a very interesting behind-the-scenes of Liam's life (they also talk about a big childhood trauma but "whose full details the Mail has chosen not to publish"). It's behind a paywall but I've discovered that many times the reading mode in Firefox and Safari gets through anyway, so here it is:

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Liam Payne's serious childhood trauma and why having a baby so young with Cheryl couldn't bring the stability that may have saved him: KATIE HIND

It was the autumn of 2011, and I had been summoned to Sony Music’s west London HQ to meet Britain’s hottest new boy band.

A few months earlier, five hopeful teenagers had auditioned for ITV’s X Factor talent show – and the music impresario Simon Cowell had drawn them together to form One Direction.

The fledgling stars had already attracted a global fanbase in the millions: a juggernaut that was drawing comparisons to 1960s Beatlemania, even though they had yet to release a song.

Now that was about to change. The band’s debut single, What Makes You Beautiful, was launching the following week – and I was there to interview the boys behind it.

Although they had seemed like sweet young things when we had briefly met at the Fountain Studios in Wembley, north-west London, during their X Factor live shows the previous year, I had expected these precocious adolescents to now be full of self-importance at their growing fame.

How wrong I was.

I arrived to find five handsome young men politely waiting to greet me, but one of them stood out thanks to his cute curly hair and his charming, talkative manner.

No, not Harry Styles – the only ex-1D member who has gone on to forge a successful, long-term solo career – but Liam Payne. Dressed down in a navy hoodie and jeans, Liam wrapped me in a warm hug and excitedly introduced me to his bandmates – Styles, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik – in his strong Wolverhampton accent.

Looking younger than his 18 years, Liam told me how badly he was missing his beloved mum Karen’s cooking – so much so that he had resorted to eating chicken dippers warmed up in the microwave.

Living as he was out of suitcases in hotels, he asked me for ironing tips as he had yet to learn how to use one – and said he still spent much of his free time playing Nintendo.

He admitted that he had practised putting his hands behind his back and trying to sing like his hero Liam Gallagher, the snarling Oasis frontman. ‘I probably looked a bit stupid though,’ he said.

He also spoke lovingly about West Bromwich Albion, the football team he had supported since he was a young boy – though he regretted that he no longer had time to cheer them on in person.

As for girls, Liam told me he preferred shy and quiet ones, although he revealed he’d fallen in love with X Factor’s 2006 winner Leona Lewis, while he found singer Tulisa Contostavlos ‘really, really hot’.

Overall, he struck me as an innocent abroad – a child, really – who seemed too vulnerable a soul to last long in the cut-throat music world.

As the years passed, I met Liam many times at industry events and in chance encounters – and I never shook that worrying sense that he was, in some ways, a lost little boy.

I could never have known, of course, that just 13 years after our first interview, Liam would perish in the most terrible circumstances – following a long spell of torment, scandal and drink and drug abuse.

His descent into addiction had been playing out, in public and in private, for years – worsened by his fragile emotional state.

Many had tried to help him quit the substances that were destroying his life, but to no avail: following his death in Buenos Aires’s five-star CasaSur hotel on Wednesday evening, what appeared to be cocaine and heroin paraphernalia were found in his wrecked suite, with its smashed TV and half-drunk flutes of champagne.

It was a squalid end for one of the most famous young men in the world, so adored by ‘Directioners’ that he insisted he couldn’t leave his hotel without a large security detail (although it’s worth pointing out that other former bandmates, including the global megastar Styles, often travel without huge entourages).

So where did it all go wrong for him – and how did that smiling boy I met all those years ago, rough around the edges as he was, come to such a terrible end?

There is no doubt that he struggled, even more than his bandmates, with that explosive early fame and notoriety.

In a candid moment at 2014’s Brit Awards, Liam told me how difficult he found it to be unable to blend into a crowd. The band’s relentless schedule had taken its toll on him, as had the long months away from home.

He often wished, one of his friends later told me, that he had gone to university like many of his schoolmates.

Of course, Liam came to enjoy a lifestyle unimaginable to his old contemporaries at St Peter’s Collegiate, his Church of England secondary school in Wolverhampton.

Despite his insatiable appetite for drugs, his large property portfolio, his endless jaunts on private jets, taste for high fashion and luxury hotel stays, his bank balance was still thought to be in the millions when he died.

For all his fears that he had peaked so young, he still had decades ahead of him – and ample time to grow into the contented father to Bear, his son with Girls Aloud star Cheryl Tweedy, his friends and family longed for him to become.

But I can reveal that behind that smiling, cherubic face, Liam had suffered serious trauma in his childhood: a shadow from which he felt he could never escape and whose full details the Mail has chosen not to publish.

One friend told me: ‘Before he even began his showbiz career, he had demons from his formative years. He struggled with that and never quite got over it. He was in a band with four other guys, he could get any girl he wanted and he was earning millions – but he struggled to enjoy any of it.’

I can vouch for that: of all the 1D members, Liam seemed by far the most uncomfortable with his fame and fortune.

I would see him most years at the Brits, where at first he would dash over to say hello, often reminding me that he had enjoyed me asking him ‘fun questions’ at our first interview.

Yet as time went on, his chaotic living began to catch up with him, and his manner became ever more unpredictable.

In February 2013, at a Brit Awards afterparty organised by his music label at the upmarket Arts Club in Mayfair, I saw him drunkenly dancing with his bandmates – by far the most bleary-eyed of them.

That December, I bumped into him in the Kurt Geiger shoe shop in Canary Wharf, east London, where he was buying his then girlfriend Sophia Smith – a former school sweetheart – a pair of boots for Christmas.

Gone was his carefree demeanour of just two years earlier, he now seemed strikingly shy. He told me he had bought a penthouse flat in the Docklands, and at my insistence, he posed for a picture with me before dashing off.

During 2013’s Take Me Home tour, the band performed an average of a concert every two days, completing 124 dates between February and November. That, I’m told, put unbearable pressure on Liam, who would often say that he ‘just wanted to be normal’.

Of course, the fame came with perks – women chief among them. Liam’s best-known romance was with Cheryl, who was ten years his senior, which had begun in 2016 following her split from her French husband Jean-Bernard Fernandez-Versini.

They quickly became the most talked-about couple in showbiz –and only six months after they were confirmed to be an item, Cheryl revealed she was expecting their baby.

For Liam, however, the pregnancy was a huge shock: he was, he allegedly told friends, not ready to become a dad.

With 1D having gone on ‘permanent hiatus’ in 2016, he was trying to launch his solo career, and becoming a father – especially to a woman a decade older than him –was not part of his plans.

He told friends that he felt like Cheryl, who was 33 when Bear was born, had used him so she could have a baby.

When Bear, now seven, was born in 2017, Cheryl grew increasingly fed up that she was stuck at home with the baby while Liam was away jet-setting.

‘Liam was flying around the world promoting his music,’ said a friend. ‘He was in the zone Cheryl had been in ten years before with Girls Aloud. It led to some furious rows.

‘He began using private jets so he could get home quicker, but it wasn’t enough. Cheryl wanted a proper family unit and Liam just could not give it to her. Things got really bad and tempestuous. Liam was a young lad in his early 20s and he just wasn’t ready for it all.’

Inevitably, they split up – giving Liam even more time to ‘go off the rails’, as one former associate of the star describes it.

Even when they were co-parenting, Cheryl desperately hoped that Liam and Bear would develop a strong father-son bond, despite Liam’s addiction issues.

‘Cheryl knew what a state he was in,’ says a source. ‘She wished she could make it better.’

And she wasn’t alone in that wish: as Liam turned from being a cheerful teenager into a tormented, angry young man, many of those closest to him tried unsuccessfully to rescue him.

He was dropped by more than one of his managers due to his erratic behaviour and his failure to turn up to work engagements.

In September 2017, Cheryl, Liam and Bear went on a luxury holiday to Majorca: a birthday treat for Liam. But he injured himself while drunk.

As the years went on, he only got worse.

In 2022, a gurning Liam appeared to be high on drugs at a post-Oscars party in Hollywood. In footage that went viral for all the wrong reasons, he replaced his Wolverhampton twang with a bizarre Los Angeles accent.

One friend of Liam’s called me in horror to share their fears that he ‘really wasn’t OK’. Last year, Liam moved to a sprawling mansion near the Buckinghamshire town of Chalfont St Giles to be further away from the temptations of London and closer to Bear, who lived nearby with Cheryl.

However, neighbours tell me that he brought his problems with him. They would often spot him coming home in the early hours in chauffeur-driven cars, often with women in tow.

While I’m told he tried to see Bear regularly, his unpredictable lifestyle frequently made this impossible. Instead, Cheryl was largely left to bring up the little boy alone with the help of her mother Joan.

Liam’s new home was also close to a woman who some describe as his fairy godmother – the Olympic heptathlon gold medallist Denise Lewis.

Her husband Steve Finan worked with Liam for several years and the couple were at his side through some of his most difficult times – including his fall-out with Cheryl.

He would often stay at their home as they battled to keep him sober.

‘Liam adored Denise,’ says a source. ‘She mothered him and really tried to support him.’

Yet in recent months, his life was clearly spiralling out of control. His on-off girlfriend, Maya Henry, 23, had recently hired lawyers to send a ‘cease and desist’ letter to the star, accusing him of repeatedly contacting her and her loved ones.

Liam’s friends insisted he was angry and upset at her, adding that her behaviour was due to her wanting to publicise her new book.

And only last week, I’m told Liam had a huge row with his manager over his forthcoming album, whose release – to Liam’s fury – had been delayed because it was deemed ‘too poppy’.

A source said: ‘There was a blazing row and the album was put back again. The single from it had flopped and there were concerns. Liam desperately wanted that album to come out: despite everything, he thought of himself as a musician.’

To make matters even worse, just a few days ago Liam’s record label dropped him.

Another source said: ‘People begged him to get help and suggested that he went to Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous meetings, but he wouldn’t take them up on it.’

His most recent girlfriend was Texan model Katie Cassidy, whom he thought might have been The One. She too had tried to help him, but left Argentina to return to the US two days before he died.

‘Lots of people cared for Liam,’ said a source. ‘He had so much love around him.’

Yet all the love in the world was not enough to rescue this desperately unhappy young man, who for all his fame and fortune could never escape the demons that haunted him from his lost, tormented youth.

www dailymail co uk/tvshowbiz/article-13972405/Liam-Paynes-childhood-trauma-having-baby-young-Cheryl-bring-stability-saved-KATIE-HIND html

Thank you for this. Plenty of interesting insights here.

#liam payne #louis tomlinson #harry styles #zayn #niall horan #1d

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twopoppies · 6 months ago

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Would you have a rolling stone subscription or any of your followers please? https://www.rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-movie-features/american-idol-lgbtq-contestants-1235027350/

It doesn't seem to be behind any sort of paywall for me, but I tend tp be cautious when reposting entire articles because blogs have been taken down for it before. Here's most of the worst of it, though. DM me if you want more and can't access it.

Travis wasn’t aware that he couldn’t carry a tune until his audition aired on TV a year later, in January 2006. Seated in the living room of the same halfway-house counselor who had driven him to the audition, he thought to himself, “God, I do suck.” But the realization was too late. His phone was already being blitzed with calls, first check-ins from friends and family members and then requests for interviews with People and Us Weekly. Soon after, Travis says the LGBTQ+ advocacy group GLAAD (which did not respond to a request for comment on this story) telephoned with the offer of taking action against Idol on his behalf. He thought to himself, “What the fuck did I just do?”

The public reaction to Travis’ off-key rendition of Whitney Houston’s 1993 single “Queen of the Night” is perhaps most succinctly summed up by the title of a YouTube video of the tryout: “American Idol Audition Boy or Girl.” Travis wore bell-bottom jeans in a feminine cut and a white tank top to his audition, pulling his wavy blonde hair behind his ears. Simon Cowell, infamously the harshest critic among the show’s original trio of judges, appeared horrified by the sight of Travis, his mouth agape. After Randy Jackson, the panel’s swing vote, kicked things off by asking the contestant to say “something interesting” about himself, Cowell asked, “That’s necessary, is it?” Cowell proceeded to stop Travis in the middle of his performance, which he called “confused.”

Travis has come a long way since Idol. After pivoting to a successful career in gay porn under the name Kirk Cummings, he retired from the adult entertainment industry and now works as a dog groomer, a profession he finds peaceful. But even 19 years later, he finds the footage of his audition tough to watch. As he left the studio in tears, editors added the theme music to The Crying Game, the 1992 film that uses the sight of a trans woman’s body to shock viewers. Today, Travis presents as male and uses masculine pronouns, but at the time of his audition, he had hoped to someday transition. He even had his new name picked out: Kelly. When he was incarcerated, others would try to dissuade him from pursuing a future as a trans person by telling him that it’s a “really hard life,” and Idol seemed to prove them all right.

“I thought, ‘Wow, if this is how my life’s going to be, then I don’t want any part of it,’” he says. “My experience is not the normal experience of a trans person, but because I had chosen to be on a television show, I saw the worst of it.”

Open cruelty is no longer part of the Idol brand, now that the show is in its second run on ABC after Fox canceled the long-running program in 2015. The series, like much of contemporary reality TV, now trades on positivity, and the annual tradition of airing bad auditions has long been discontinued. But during the height of its popularity in the 2000s, schadenfreude was a major part of the show’s appeal. While launching the careers of instant household names like Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, Idol was also the show where tens of millions of viewers watched Cowell tell Season Three contestant Heather Piccinini that she’s “ugly” when she sings and belittle Season Five’s Crystal Parizanski for overtanning; he even pulled Parizanski’s mother into the room to humiliate the contestant further. The show’s June 2002 premiere, in which Cowell advised a young woman to sue her vocal coach, made it clear what Idol would be selling.

That feed-them-to-the-lions approach made Idol the number-one program on TV six years running, the longest stretch at the top in broadcast history — but the show tended to prey on its most vulnerable contestants, perhaps unwittingly. Idol producers were forced to issue an apology after Cowell compared Season Six hopeful Kenneth Briggs, who has facial malformations due to Aarskog Syndrome, to a “bush baby.” Season Five’s Paula Goodspeed took her own life outside judge Paula Abdul’s home in 2008 after Cowell criticized the contestant’s metal braces following a performance of the Creedence Clearwater Revival/Ike and Tina Turner standard “Proud Mary.” Goodspeed was reportedly an obsessive stalker who changed her given name in tribute to Abdul, and the contest judge publicly criticized Idol’s producers for not doing more to protect her, saying she alerted them to Goodspeed’s behavior prior to the audition. (A spokesperson for the show did not comment on Abdul’s accusation at the time.)

Among those most targeted by Idol’s alleged abuses were anyone who was outside of the norm, as defined by the extremely narrow standards of Bush-era popular culture. This often included contestants who were experiencing mental health issues, individuals with disabilities, people of color, and plus-size singers like the late Mandisa Huntley, the Season Five contestant of whom Cowell infamously asked: “Do we have a bigger stage this year?” But Idol enjoyed a particularly contentious relationship with the queer contestants who hoped that the series would offer their big break into an unforgiving industry, many of whom had only started to come to an understanding of their LGBTQ+ identities. In another exchange condemned by GLAAD, Cowell told Travis’ fellow Season Five hopeful Charles Berry, who now is an out gay man, to shave off his beard and “wear a dress,” saying that he would make a “great female impersonator.”

Keith Beukelaer, whom Cowell famously called “the worst singer in the world,” knew immediately after his Season Two audition that it would end up being broadcast. “It’s something that I don’t know if I ever fully recovered from,” he says. “I remember it as if it was yesterday.” A devoted Madonna fan, he performed “Like a Virgin” in a green mock-turtleneck sweater, gyrating his body in sync with the song’s suggestive lyrics. Beukelaer has come to understand himself as having Asperger’s Syndrome, although he didn’t have the language for it at the time, and he came out as gay a few years after appearing on the program. He still struggles with the notoriety that his brief appearance on Idol brought, the decades of mockery that followed six minutes of air time.

Cowell did not return multiple requests for comment for this story. Neither did Jackson, longtime host Ryan Seacrest, or Idol creator Simon Fuller — who based the show off his own U.K. series Pop Idol, which aired from 2001 to 2003. But a source close to the production, who requested not to be named in this story, defended the show by affirming that “every single person who came on Idol, whatever their race, color, creed, or sexual preferences, was placed squarely in the firing line for Simon’s barbed critiques.”

[...]

What was a queer paradise for some, however, was a nightmare for others. Of those who spoke on the record, many say that Idol effectively forced them into the closet, and they believe it’s because the show was fearful that an openly queer contestant would alienate the show’s largely conservative viewership.

[...]

There was no rule saying that queer contestants couldn’t discuss their personal lives, but some singers say that Idol made it clear that some things were best kept secret. R.J. Helton, who uses they/them pronouns, went back into the closet and started dating a woman before they auditioned for Idol’s first season, hoping to make their family happy. Helton’s parents always envisioned that they would become a pastor or a Christian music artist, and when Helton’s boy band, the Soul Focus, went their separate ways, competing on Idol felt like a logical next step. Having recently broken things off with their fiancée, not wanting to live a lie, Helton began seeing their Idol stand-in during the season. Although they kept the romance a secret from producers, Helton says the other contestants knew. “None of them cared,” they say. “It was the first time that I felt accepted by a group of people.”

Idol producers never found out about the relationship, but the stakes were nonetheless made clear when executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, the show’s most influential creative voice, pulled Helton aside after seeing them exchange a friendly peck on the cheek with a male member of the crew. “Listen, we love you,” Helton says the producer told them. “We think you’re great, but let’s continue on the sweet side, with the Christian boy thing.” In their on-camera interviews and stage performances, Helton says they tried to tone down their natural ebullience, “butching it up” and staying as quiet as possible. A team of publicists, they recall, followed Helton everywhere “because they didn’t want me to break character.”

In an email to Rolling Stone, Lythgoe asserts that he “never stopped any contestant from coming out” and says he “never would have done so.” “I did work with a number of individuals who, sadly, were struggling with issues around coming out, and I provided feedback that was very common at the time: that they should let their talent do the talking and not allow others to denigrate them based on their personal lives,” he says. “If anyone was hurt by my advice on those issues, I can only apologize, but I only ever wanted to help and support the wonderful young people who competed on the first seasons of Idol, several of whom, tragically, were torn between a desire to live their truth openly and a great fear about how they would be treated on returning home by their families, by their communities, and even by God.”

Helton, now with the clarity of hindsight, wishes they’d had the confidence to present their full self to America. After being dropped from their record label following a 2006 interview in which they came out as gay, Helton recently came to the realization of their nonbinary identity. “I know it was a different generation, but there are parts of me that think: ‘If I could have worn a gorgeous evening gown with a full beard, I could have won,’” Helton says. When producers would tap them on the shoulder to remind them, “Hey, we don’t talk about this,” it made Helton scared of losing the only affirmation they’d ever had. “As a young person, that really plays with your psyche, especially when you’re not used to the spotlight, loads of fans, or the money. You just do what you’re told. I don’t know if that’s selling your soul to the devil, but it did feel like that. They lifted me up, put me on a pedestal, and told me that the pedestal will only be there as long as I play this part.”

Helton’s fellow Season One cast member Jim Verraros has spent years in therapy working to unlearn many of the unfortunate lessons he says Idol taught him, namely that it wasn’t OK to be himself. That education began with the Pygmalion-esque makeover given to the show’s aspiring superstars: Idol immediately traded in his nerdy aesthetic — wiry glasses and jean jackets with the collar popped — for a generic rock look, sleeveless vests with leather cuff bracelets. He got contacts, lowered his voice half an octave, and put away what he calls the “theatrical and stage part of me that comes also from having deaf parents and being expressive.” “It comes at a cost,” he says. “When you’re told that you aren’t enough — or that this version of you doesn’t work — you spend a big part of your life taking parts away from you so that you can achieve those dreams.”

Although Verraros made the Top 10 of his season, he struggled with the role created for him, and the miscasting of a nebbishy gay Midwestern boy as a conservative-friendly heartthrob led to friction with the show’s creative team. Former co-host Brian Dunkleman, who emceed Idol’s first season alongside Ryan Seacrest, says he overheard Cowell and Randy Jackson discussing plans to directly target Verraros, hoping to get a strong reaction out of him that they could film. “We’re gonna nail Jim,” he recalls the judges saying as they were having coffee in an Idol break room. Cowell tended to reserve his harshest critiques of the show’s inaugural cast for Verraros, and following that discussion, he told the contestant live on air, “I think if you win this competition, we would have failed.”

Idol did get the emotional reaction it sought from Verraros in a scene that ultimately landed on the cutting-room floor. Prior to the announcement of the season’s Top 10 finalists, Dunkleman says that Cowell informed the contestants they would be using the “judges’ veto” to oust one of them from the show. “Jim, you’re out of the competition,” Cowell told Verraros, prompting the young singer to burst into tears. (That’s when Dunkleman recalls that Lythgoe came over and instructed everyone to sing a modified version of the Monkees’ “Daydream Believer” to brighten Verraros’ spirits. “Cheer up, sleepy Jim,” fellow contestants sang together in unison.) For reasons that are unclear, Lythgoe opted to backtrack on the judges’ decision, Dunkleman says, allowing Verraros to move forward to the next round after all. “Later that night, I was at dinner and I got a pretty frantic message from Nigel saying, ‘Look, there’s been a change. Jim is back in the competition. Just please don’t tell anybody about anything that happened today,’” Dunkleman remembers. “And then the next night he made the Top 10.”

Those incidents, Dunkleman adds, played a major role in his decision to part ways with Idol, calling the program “evil.” He also recalls that a judging panel needed to be refilmed so Cowell could call Helton a “loser” instead of a “monkey.” “That’s what it was,” he says of Idol. “It was about how mean they were. It was about how shocking this was and how much they were making fun of these singers.” He isn’t sure, though, why the show singled Helton and Verraros out in particular. “Is it conscious targeting or is it subconscious? That kind of undertone, maybe they weren’t even aware of it.”

[...]

AMERICAN IDOL often strained to fit queer contestants into an instantly recognizable mold that producers could market for the widest possible audience. Simon Cowell declared that he would quit the program if Sanjaya Malakar, an affable Season Six hopeful with a perpetual smile, won the competition. Malakar, who is half Bengali and performed with the Hawaii Children’s Theater during his time living in Kauai, was unlike any singer the show had ever seen. He was earnest and goofy, striding up to the judges’ table to dance with Paula Abdul during a performance of Irving Berlin’s “Cheek to Cheek.” He also straddled the lines of gender, flat-ironing his chameleonic locks for a winsome cover of John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World To Change.” After weeks of all but begging viewers to vote Malakar off the show, Cowell commented regarding the latter song: “Maybe it’s your hair that’s keeping you in. I don’t know.”

Malakar came out as bisexual many years after Idol was over, finding himself after taking a job at a karaoke bar in New York where he found freedom in anonymity. What was hardest for Malakar to navigate, he says, was not the constant scrutiny from Idol’s judges but the vitriolic reaction from fans. A MySpace blogger vowed to stop eating until Malakar was sent home, although the contestant outlasted the hunger strike, which ceased after 16 days. The website Vote for the Worst, which urged fans to subvert the Idol system by keeping on its quirkiest and most divisive contestants, took up Malakar as a personal cause.

Looking back, Malakar believes that it’s the ambiguity of how he presented that bothered people so much. The judges and viewers just couldn’t figure him out because, as a 17-year-old kid who hadn’t graduated high school yet, he hadn’t figured himself out. “There was no way to really understand how to define me,” he says. “They didn’t know what culture I was. They didn’t know what sexuality I was. They didn’t know what genre I was. I was this anomaly that made people uncomfortable.”

The queer singers who had the most painful time being reshaped by the Idol system were those who stood out the most, whether they were flamboyant and over-the-top in their performance style, like Malakar, or their gender presentation skewed toward the effeminate. Season Eight runner-up Adam Lambert — who declined to speak for this story, citing his shooting schedule for The Voice Australia, on which he is a judge — has said that queer contestants who didn’t have the ability to hide were used by Idol as “comic relief.” “Anytime someone came on the show that was perceived to be gay or it was obvious enough that they were gay, they were a joke,” he remarked to the British music magazine NME in a 2018 interview. He added: “To be fair, some of them weren’t great singers, but there were a couple of really good singers that came on. And they weren’t taken seriously.”

To illustrate his point, Lambert noted the example of Adore Delano from Seasons Six and Seven, who would later contend on the reality competition show RuPaul’s Drag Race. Delano declined to participate in this story, but in a 2023 Instagram video publicly announcing her transition, she said that she went back into the closet to compete on Idol. Appearing on the show led her to suppress her transness in order to present herself as “something that was so uncomfortable,” she recalled. And yet her effervescent femininity couldn’t be contained: During her second appearance on Idol, she performed a sassy rendition of “Jailhouse Rock” by Elvis Presley that Cowell deemed “hideous” and “verging on the grotesque.” Delano was ultimately eliminated from the Top 16 after a performance of Soft Cell’s queer anthem “Tainted Love” that Cowell declared “absolutely useless.” She dyed her silky hair purple for the number.

Like Delano, Atlas Marshall auditioned for Idol twice, making it to the Top 36 in Season Eight and then trying out again for Season 16. Both experiences were extremely fraught. Following a performance of Meat Loaf’s “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)” during her first appearance on the show, Cowell looked at Marshall and remarked, “I think you probably would.” Even as a guileless 18-year-old with frosted emo bangs and angel-bite piercings, Marshall realized it was a “loaded comment.” “The joke around that song is that it’s about anal sex,” she says. After the audience booed Cowell’s remark, Ryan Seacrest, then the show’s sole emcee, invited Marshall to come sit on the judge’s lap, but Paula Abdul intervened and beckoned the contestant to rest on hers instead. Marshall was voted off Idol the next day.

[...] Marshall��s mother, who recently passed away, was a lesbian, and she raised her child in a queer household where it was OK to be “open, flamboyant, and fabulous,” as Marshall recalls. Being taught by Idol that the outside world might mock the parts of herself she was taught to embrace was a rude awakening. “For so long, there was a lot of shame around it,” she says of her first Idol experience. “I felt gross. I didn’t like myself.”

[...]

While the team behind Idol’s current iteration did not offer a comment on the record, the source close to the Fox production contests the idea that the show stopped contestants from expressing their most authentic selves, while adding that “coming out might have damaged certain contestants’ chances for success.” “No one ever prevented anyone from doing so, but there was often a sense — right or wrong — that it would be better if the American public’s vote was based more on their judgment about the performers’ talent rather than their sexual orientations,” the source says.

[...]

Although it would feel convenient to point the finger solely at Idol, the show at its peak reflected America’s culture as much as it defined it. When the series premiered in 2002, polling from Gallup showed that 43 percent of the U.S. populace still thought homosexuality should be illegal; Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court ruling that struck down sodomy laws in the 14 states where gay sex was still illegal, wouldn’t be issued for another year. A majority of Americans wouldn’t support the right of same-sex couples to marry until 2011, during Idol’s tenth season on the air. That was also, coincidentally, the first season not to feature either Paula Abdul or Simon Cowell on the judges panel. Abdul, hailed by sources as a major supporter of queer contestants behind the scenes, parted ways with the program after Season Eight. Cowell left the following year to launch the U.S. spinoff of The X Factor, the British singing competition he created in 2004.

[...]

For all the troubles that some queer contestants say they had on the show, many argue that Idol’s missteps paled in comparison to how cruelly they were treated by the rest of the media, the music industry, and even America at large. Idol voters eliminated Season Seven’s David Hernandez the week after an Associated Press story revealed that he had previously worked as a dancer at a Arizona strip club that catered to a “mostly male” clientele. By that time, photos that allegedly showed Hernandez bartending at a gay nightclub had already been published on Vote for the Worst, although Hernandez says the pictures weren’t even of him. He says that Idol was already well aware of his work history by the time the reports surfaced, as he disclosed the information in the extensive questionnaire the show required contestants to complete; spanning over 100 pages in length, it also asked singers to name their past sexual and romantic partners.

[...]

The media persecution of queer Idol contestants was so de rigueur during the show’s imperial era that few even questioned it. Jim Verraros’ coming out in 2002 prompted a two-page spread in the Globe, a U.S. supermarket tabloid, asking: “Who’s Next?” Chatter surrounding Adam Lambert’s sexuality made the New York Times after photos circulated of the singer, eyes covered in makeup and glitter all over his face, locking lips with another man. Following the Season Two finale, Clay Aiken says that the first question that he was ever asked by a reporter was: “Are you gay?” He wouldn’t formally come out until a 2008 People magazine cover story coinciding with the birth of his son, and for years, he says, confirmation of his sexual orientation “was the only thing that anybody in the press wanted” from him. “I never did an interview where somebody was not trying to ask me if I was gay,” he says, later adding: “Everybody wanted to be the one who got it.”

Aiken says that speculation regarding his sexuality reached such a fever pitch that, for a time, he stopped leaving his house. Even then, there was no hiding from it: “If I heard anybody setting up a gay joke on a sitcom or a late-night show, I held my breath because I knew my name was coming. Eighty percent of the time I was right.” The topic was a frequent punchline of late-night host Jimmy Kimmel, who frequently booked Aiken to appear on his show, and comedian Kathy Griffin spent a full 15 minutes discussing Aiken’s sexuality in a 2005 stand-up special on Bravo. “I do find him to allegedly be the gayest man in the free world,” she said in the routine, calling him “Gayken” to hearty applause from the crowd. Even two years after he had actually come out, a Season Eight episode of Family Guy saw Stewie, during a parody of Family Feud, being asked to name a “popular fruit” and responding: “Clay Aiken.” “I laugh at them now,” he says of the jokes, noting that he calls Griffin a friend. “I find them hilarious now, but at the time, it hurt a lot.”

Full article here

#american idol #clay aiken #adam lambert #simon cowell is a bag of dicks #suicide tw

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roseshirtlouis · 2 months ago

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i’ve been feeling like in and out of this world ever since yesterday morning and every word felt like a sword in my chest. i know i haven’t ever met liam in real life or been to any 1d shows, and despite all the wrongdoings of his i just had this comforting feeling that he is alive and that made me peaceful. now i’m still refusing to believe he is gone. i just fail to accept this fact and honestly i don’t want to. i loved liam just like i loved the other boys and i will forever cherish him and every bit of happiness he’s caused. i will never forget the excitement i felt every time i read there will be an interview with him or that he would appear at award shows on behalf of 1D. i will never forget how he snatched that brit award from simon cowell. i will never forget how he went to see the other boys on tour. i will never forget how he came to support louis at his film premiere. i will always and forever remember him for his good deeds and only them (hate me or love me for it idc). for me liam will stay as that ray of sunshine who poured water on harry just to annoy louis. i will remember him as the most supportive member of the band. i will remember him as the person who co-wrote so many songs with louis and as the person who changed the sound of 1D. i will forever remember him for his snake habitat tweet, the guy who was afraid of spoons and who changed his whole twitter account on niall’s birthday and became a ms horan for a day so that he could cheer people up. i can’t stop crying while writing all this. i love you liam forever and always. be at peace in the place you are now and rest easy. i will never ever forget you and the happiness i felt because of you. rip payno 🧡❤️‍🩹

#one direction #liam payne #rip liam payne #louis tomlinson #harry styles #zayn #niall horan

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hollywoodoutbreak · 11 months ago

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America's Got Talent: Fantasy League is a new spin on the AGTformat, inviting back 40 fan favorites from previous seasons, and the four judges -- Simon Cowell, Howie Mandel, Heidi Klum, and Mel B -- are now in coaching roles, each hoping to mentor their 10 acts into the finals and, ultimately, the championship. (Think of it as AGT meets The Voice, but with an all-star roster instead of blind auditions.) Cowell said he's really excited about the Fantasy League format because so many of the contestants are excited about the new format.

America's Got Talent: Fantasy League airs Mondays at 8/7c on NBC, and episodes start streaming the following day on Peacock.

#Simon Cowell #America's Got Talent: Fantasy League #AGT: Fantasy League #AGT #america's got talent #TV #TV News #television #television news #Entertainment #Entertainment news #Celebrities #Celebrity #celebrity news #celebrity interviews

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sunshineandlyrics · 6 months ago

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10 June 2024.

Note, Steven Bartlett was (too) kind with Simon and premised the question as Liam having "struggles" and the struggles that come with fame and change. No mention was made about Liam's problems with addiction.

If you want to watch that part of the Steven and Simon interview, just choose the relevant chapter x

#Steven was not direct enough and he had nothing to lose compared to a reporter or a celeb asking that question #everything is about money and fame with Simon #also this interview talks about the death of his father and the comments are so positive and sympathetic to Simon so this whole promo tour #he is doing now to find a new boyband is making him look more human #I did not watch the whole interview #just the chapters on One Direction #Dan cashio #Steven Bartlett #simon cowell #One Direction #mine

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mightdeletelater · 2 months ago

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when fame turns fatal: the tragic cycle of celebrity exploitation

this blog post was originally posted on my substack

How do you capture the unknowable life of someone else? Someone only seen through interviews, music videos, and invasive paparazzi snapshots? Maybe starting by laying out the simplest biographical details? Liam Payne was born in 1993 in Wolverhampton. He first auditioned for The X Factor at 14. Joined the boy band One Direction at 16. Had a son named Bear at 23. Released his only solo album at 25. And passed away at 31 after falling from a hotel balcony in Argentina.

Another approach could be to focus on the photos, the ones from both the beginning and the end. In 2010, when One Direction was formed, judges Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, and Nicole Scherzinger hovered over a polaroid of a 16-year-old Payne, arranging it with pictures of three future bandmates – Niall Horan, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson – as if they were playing with dolls. "That looks good." "That looks great." "It looks unbelievable." When Payne passed away in 2024, TMZ published zoomed-in, cropped photos of his lifeless body. His arm, and section of his side, both with his distinct tattoos. The article had no warning of the contents.

Denial of dignity in death is a tragic culmination of a toxic kind of fame, one especially endured by pop stars and teen idols. Payne was simply just another one who was dehumanized throughout his life – by the music industry that propelled him to stardom, by the tabloids, by social media, and even by his own fans. Being idolized can be as depersonalizing as being vilified. He became a pin-up poster, and eventually a literal doll (fans could collect all five members of the boyband).

The cycle of objectification persisted even after One Direction disbanded in 2015. Payne's solo career and erratic interview behaviour became a source of online mockery. Once endearingly called the "dad" of One Direction for being more serious, ambitious, and occasionally a bit awkward, these traits grew exaggerated over time. His ‘cringe moments’ became viral content on social media. Despite being open about his struggles with mental health and substance abuse, he received little empathy. He was open about by long periods of boredom that came after the highs of performing to sold out arenas which led him to an alcohol and drug addiction and suicidal thoughts. Speaking on the Diary Of The CEO Podcast in 2021, Payne said: “I was worried how far my rock bottom was going to be. Where's rock bottom for me? And you would never have seen it. I'm very good at hiding it. I don't even know if I have hit it yet. I can either make that choice now and pick my last moment as my rock bottom or I can make a whole new low.” While the exact circumstances of Payne's fall from the balcony remain unclear, emergency services were called to the hotel for “a guest who has had too much drugs and alcohol.”

Before his death, Payne was accused by his ex-fiance Maya Henry of physical and emotional abuse, including chasing her with an axe and forcing her to get a self-induced abortion. Last week, Henry had issued a cease and desist against Payne, accusing him of repeatedly contacting her. She also alleged that the singer continuously contacted her friends and family, including her mother.

The fantasy that One Direction embodied for a generation was always deeply co-dependent – a symbiotic relationship between the fevered daydreams of millions of teenage girls and the dream come true for five young boys. But what once seemed like a fantasy looks more like a nightmare. There is something undeniably troubling about adults marketing 16-year-old boys to children for maximum profit, despite the clear risks to their well-being and mental health. Why do we only recognize this when tragedy strikes? How can we justify doing this to such young people – isolating them from their families, their normal lives, and their sense of self – only to mock them as they struggle through adulthood? How many more lives must the pop industry claim before something finally changes? It all just feels irredeemable. What is someone supposed to do with all that fame and then all that vilification? What does it say about us when there is a market for identifying tattoos from a corpse?

And there will never be closure. Henry will not get justice. Payne will have never beaten his battle with addiction. While the tributes pour in for Payne, it is clear how most of the decisions he made – and that were made for him – never were in his best interest. But that never mattered because the industry chews and spits out young people but will continue to thrive and produce entertainment. Unregulated fame has horrific ramifications, for the person in the spotlight and all the people in their lives standing just outside of it.

#liam payne #one direction #maya henry #celebrity culture #anti celebrity culture #fame #addiction

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filmfauxpas · 1 month ago

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One Direction: This is Us—Our Unhealthy Obsession with Celebrities

Eleven years ago, One Direction was at the height of their careers. The British boy band had just wrapped their third world tour and was preparing for their fourth, with 69 shows on the agenda. Now comfortable with each other, they released their third studio album, Midnight Memories. No longer teenagers, the members of One Direction wanted to show their maturity, promising an "edgier" and "rockier" sound, according to Louis Tomlinson. They swapped out the boy-next-door sonnets for more sexually charged lyrics, replaced acoustic guitars with electric ones, and delivered more upbeat hits than their previous albums. Just three months earlier, on August 30, 2013, the film One Direction: This Is Us premiered worldwide, giving fans an inside look at their lives on tour and the effects of fame.

This Is Us was filmed over four months, starting in January 2013 in Tokyo and finishing in London in April. During filming, the band members were between the ages of 20 and 22. While the film showcased the fun and excitement of their careers, it also gave the boys a chance to explain the hardships of their success and how it affected them. Grateful for their careers, members still expressed the challenges of adjusting to sudden global fame, like losing the ability to go out without protection and being away from their families. Whether intentional or not, the film also revealed just how overworked they were, detailing their demanding schedules filled with concerts, interviews, and recording sessions. A particularly telling moment shows a producer waking Zayn up on their tour bus to record, with a tired and young Zayn asking, "How long was I out?" to which the producer responds, "10 minutes."

While the life of any successful musician has its faults, it's important to ask: how much is too much? Watching the film again as a 23-year-old, I was struck by how young they were at the time. At 12, I thought being 22 was old, but seeing them now through a different lens was quite upsetting. Paul Higgins, One Direction’s bodyguard, described the boys situation well, stating “If you can imagine yourself being taken away at the age of 16 or 17 and then thrown into the spotlight... people are constantly around them, and to hold their form and cool, and to enjoy it and perform, it’s a big ask." Harry Styles chimed in adding, "There are definitely times where you’re not enjoying it the whole time. But then you have to step back for a second and try to weigh the pros and cons." While this reflection seems healthy, it also highlights the guilt that comes with success. It was hard watching the young men tiptoe around how they really felt, as everytime they expressed a hardship, they’d follow it up with how “lucky” they were to be in their position. However, I don’t find this lucky by any means—I find it quite the opposite. It is disheartening how a child's innocence is taken advantage of by others who see them as a dollar sign.

In light of One Direction member Liam Payne’s untimely death, fans are searching for the root cause of his addiction, which led to his passing. While no one can place the responsibility for someone’s life on external factors alone, Payne’s death prompts reflection on how unhealthy the constant public scrutiny of celebrities can be, and how fans can play a part in this toxicity as well. Starting on The X Factor, the boys were no strangers to the public eye, but they never expected to reach such stardom so quickly. Simon Cowell, a judge on the show and the band’s creator, noted how “strange” it was that people became obsessed with the five boys after just one performance. This obsession only grew, especially on social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr, where fans dedicated entire blogs to discussing the band’s music, whereabouts, and their feelings about the members. As One Direction released songs about love and vulnerability, fans felt a personal connection to them, leading to a parasocial phenomenon among “Directioners.”

For instance, it became popular to write fanfiction about the members, creating imaginary romantic scenarios—sometimes between a fan and a band member, or even between the members themselves. While most fans acted out of love, these behaviors were harmful, often oversexualizing the young men and invading their privacy. As a result, One Direction was constantly surveilled and couldn't go out without security. Payne spoke openly about how this lack of freedom affected him, saying in an interview, “In the band… the best way to secure us, because of how big we’d got, was to lock us in our rooms. What’s in the room? A mini-bar. So at a certain point I thought, I’m just going to have a party-for-one, and that carried on for many years of my life.” He also spoke about the loneliness and lack of control he felt during and after this time, commenting, “There are times where that level of loneliness and people getting to you every day... you’re like, when will this end?”

X Factor winner Rebbeca Ferguson when asked about Payne's death said “[he] was a victim of an industry’s “exploitation and profiteering of young stars.” Claiming that it was a factor in his death. Although this narrative isn’t new—many child stars have struggled with substance abuse following early stardom—it raises an important question: how can we, as fans, make a conscious effort to respect celebrities' boundaries and view them as individuals rather than idols? Luckily, in just the last year the stigma of complying with “superfan” behavior has been challenged by artists who have spoken out against it like Chappell Roan, Tyler the Creator, Billie Eilish, and Hayley Willimas. Hopefully, as more voices join this conversation, we can see a shift toward a healthier, more respectful fan-celebrity relationships.

#this is us #film review #opinion #liam payne #harry styles #zayn malik #louis tomlinson

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savebylou · 6 months ago

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Recap Simon Cowell's new interview about 1D.

Hi everyone so I decided to do a combination of recap/transcription of what Simon said about One Direction on The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett.

TLDR: His only regret was to not own the name of One Direction to make things like animations or make them tour without all the members, according to him there hasn't been a great group after 1D. He advice to the 1D boys was to be themselves, to be involved in their music, to not get a stylist, to not dance etc. He said that in his new show the group that is form will not get a record deal they have to be good enough to get one after the show and part of the new deal will be that he owns the name.

If you want to see the videos are in this post. Below I have the recap for anyone who wants a more detail info of what he said without the need to watch Simon's face, I still link the videos for each part.

So the poodcast is 2hrs and 14 min long. They basically talk about Simon and how he got were he was, his family, son etc. The last 30 min aprox is what I would expand more, whoever I want to point out two aspects that stand out for me in the history of him:

He doesn't know the process to make a record, he never goes to a studio and see the process, doesn,'t know what is first etc. He says he doesn't want to and he doesn't want to pretend to know anything, he just wants to listen to the album after and form an opinion.

He wanted a producer Peter Waterman to make a record for his artist ( Sinitta who previously Simon have a hit with her the first time) this producer got very famous and have a lot of work so he didn't accept to work with Simon. So Simon went to the studio every day and make tea and sit in the studio, after a year and a half Pete ask him why is he always there and Simon said he was trying to learn how he does it, how he works (to me sounded kind of stalker vibes) and said that he wants that one day he writes Sinitta next record. A few months later the producer at the end call him with a record for his artist and was Toy Boy and he knew it would be a hit internationally, it hit no. 4 in the UK and was famous in Europe.

1D creation, paparazzi & privacy.

For Simon it was quite obvious once the boys were form they were gonna be really successful with the right records, for him they were the perfect group. I: "I think the most successful artist you've ever develop? S: "Gosh ah, I actually I don't know the answer to that". I: Really? S: No, I mean I know they were really successful they sold a lot of records...[whispers] and they made a lot of money.

He adviced them to not complain about paparazzis: "Don't ever complaint about paparazzi because they are gonna take your pictures, don't complaint about invasion of privacy because people were always want to a picture taken with you. Don't complain about the long hours because they're going to be long hours, so none of this if any of this is a problem just do something else". That is what it comes with the territory and it's worth it.

Not a good group after 1D & his show.

For Simon being in a band is more fun that being a solo artist and it's a brilliant way to get notice like they've all become, being in a band was the catalyst for that.

He is making a new show because right now for him" I don't think a band who has been as good as One Direction since One Direction in my opinion'. Now they are more solo artist than bands in the pop music and the only way he knows to put a band together is with auditions. For his show they are gonna document the whole process since the beginning of the idea, the selection the contestants etc. "There is not safety blanket on this in terms of I haven't gone to a record label and go and said right I'm doing this would it you guarantee a record deal, l got to hope the band are good enough to get a record deal."

Secret sauce of 1D, problem of making bands and his "advice" to 1D The interview ask him what is the secret souce for boybands. Simon says people, personality, that is the one thing about 1D they all have great personalities and they were interesting people. The first time he saw them again after the band was form was in Spain and they were walking at the beach and everyone were looking at them as they were already stars even if nobody knew them, there was this glow about them.

He had hits with bands and missing with bands he was 1% off or 80% off. He just gotta hope he gets lucky and find the right people. He is selling an act to somebody he is not, the fans are going to be primarly teenegers, he have to guess what the audience is going to like. Recently when he sees bands for for the minute they are on stage he knows is wrong, someone told him what to wear, they are rehearsed, nothing is spontaneous "and I'm thinking what is that person whoever is behind the scenes, why can't let them just be themselves?"🙄.

He said to the 1D boys: "Do whay you like and that was sort of it, I just said look when you got a problem you come to me. Is really down to you to make this work. You gotta love the records you make, you gotta influence the records you make, you can't dance so don't try and dance, don't ever hire a stylist because you already have great taste, and just be yourselves and really really have fun."

Harry's success & famous UK artists.

Would he predicted his success? He never guess he was going to be one of the biggest stars in the world, no one would have thought that. He thought Harry was charismatic, fun and the audience like him. The boys use that vehicle of 1D to go where they wanted to go, he doesn't know if Harry will be Harry without 1D no one could tell that, but being in a band help him.

This make him thought that "the amount of UK artists that broken globally in the last say 7 years has fallen off a cliff, literally if you think about how many global artist British had broken globally in the last 7 years is possible 3? Which is crazy.

I: I can' think of 3. S: [says with his lips "nor can I] [Both laugh].

Only regret, tour & new deal with new group

"Again when I was talking to One Direction I remember saying to them our goal is for to you to have enough hits that if you ever reform that you could do stadiums tours. That means you gotta have 10 hit singles because that's what people wanna hear, they want to hear the hits, and you know if they ever did reform that's exactly what would happened". He doubts that the 1D boys will get back together.

The interviewer mentions that Spice Girls got together many years later, then Simon talks about his only regret , without anyone asking him about this by the way [For a fragment of the next part I will use the color purple for Simon dialogue and color green for the interviewer dialogue]:

S: "The one thing I regret is I should have keep the name" I: "Oh you should have owned the name?"S: I should have owned the name. I: You didn't own the name? S: No. I: Who owns the name? S: They do. I: Oh okay. S: That's the problem I could have made an animation or whatever, but when you give an artist the name it's not yours and that's my ONLY regret, so if your listening [looks at the camera] I will buy it back from you. We'll do it as a partnership [points to interviewer with both hands] -S: "But that is the ONLY thing I do regret because if one of the band members for whatever reason said they don't want do tour it can stop the others touring so if it was me who own the name it wouldn't be a problem." -I: You can do a tour with 3 of them. As so that's was stopping a tour, because they what..did they own 25%, 20%? -S: "I believe so, yes, I mean I can be very naive at times and that was me being very very naive, so next time that will be part of the deal, I have to own the name, they can still make most of the money but I need to own the name."

Thanks to @wendersfive to help me figure it out what Simon mumble.

Before ending this just wanted to share that besides the many times Simon has try to make groups in his shows, he already made this idea of a show dedicated to create a band. Is not something new.

The transcription I did it with only what I heard and seeing the subtitles on youtube so sorry for anything I could miss or a gramatical mistake.

#simon cowell #one direction #harry styles #louis tomlinson #niall horan #zayn malik #liam payne #the diary of a ceo with steven bartlett #the x factor #music industry #the boys theserves so much better #the man is delusional taking credit for things the band fight for they have to fight for being songwriters

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