#Silly headcanons

[canonical-transformation]

Chiori: "How I met Chevreuse?"

Chiori: "A client of mine... let's just say they tripped on the rug and fell out the window, and I ended up accused of... something or other. Chevreuse showed up at my door asking me to come to the Palais for an interview..."

Chevreuse: "And that's how we met."

Chiori: "...and I simply didn't have the time. So I put the point of my scissors under her chin and explained that..."

Chevreuse: "And that's how we met"

[ghcstao3]

ghost’s accent being pretty neutral. says he’s from manchester but no one thinks he really sounds it.

until, that is, he’s either very drunk or under heavy anaesthesia. it’s after he’d taken a nasty hit during a mission and soap had visited him near fresh from surgery that he discovers this fun little quirk.

obviously he takes great joy in throwing ghost an “english, riley,” even though the man is far too loopy to care, and probably to remember as well. and best believe soap takes a video to remember because he knows very well that ghost will do his damnedest to deny the fact he sounds like a liam gallagher clone when he really lets loose.

[cococaffeinated]

And this is why Caine decides what the cast earns at the end of each adventure because if it were up to individual requests, Jax and Zooble would most likely ask for booze amongst other things that aren't for all-ages!

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

everyone settling into the hotel and figuring out the unsaid rules of cohabitation like

1 - it’s okay for Angel Dust to leave work stuff lying around IF ITS WASHED

2 - if you want a drink you ASK Husk. If you want to die you mess with his drink display

3 - TV is timeshared and if Alastor wants to use his timeslot to turn the tv OFF then no you can’t watch it just because he’s not using it

4 - Niffty can pin up the cockroach kill of the week in the lobby for everyone to wince at but it has to be on the cork board Charlie bought for her and she has to take the old ones down first each time

5 - if you break it you rebuild / replace it. You do NOT upgrade it with weapons while doing so (Sir Pentious THIS MEANS YOU) 5b - as long as it gets rebuilt / replaced no one gets to make a huge deal over something being broken or blown up again (or at Sir Pentious for doing it)

6 - don’t move around the fucking lobby furniture without moving it back afterwards 6b - if it’s in your room then you can do what you want but in all shared spaces the furniture NEEDS to be kept tidy and in proper place unless you want to hear swearing and sounds of violence as Vaggie trips over and throws her spear into a wall in frustration again, ruining the paper 6c - every third time this happens everyone has to sit through another presentation by Charlie explaining how having one eye is different when it’s not huge and in the middle of your head and you’re not basically at ground level

7 - Charlie can sing but only between 10am and 10pm unless it’s an emergency. If she tries singing outside of that whoever’s nearest is allowed to GENTLY hush her 7b - if you hush Charlie at any other time Vaggie will chase you. 7c - the above is NOT a recommended source of healthy exercise (you will have trauma)

8 - and above all have fun and FUCK yourself!

- Whoever changed “be” to “fuck”- it’s okay and you are loved <3

- Platonically. You are loved platonically, by me Charlie, who is writing this while standing next to my beautiful girlfriend.

- hey Charlie puff you alright? Sounds like she had a gun to your head while you were writin’ this XD

- It was more like her lips on my neck but yeah pretty close!

9 - Charlie and Vaggie are not allowed to be gross and cute in common areas they have a room for that sappy shit and need to keep it there thanks

- Homophobia.

- this is hell, toots

- You are literally a gay man Angel Dust

- I contain multitudes. Multitudes of d

- Bonding between friends is WONDERFUL but this is a list of rules not a chat room so let’s end things here ha ha ha ! Great job everyone!!!!

- KILL

- niffty what the fuck did you write that in it wont wash off

- BLOOD~

[petvampire]

… I’m just saying that Crystal Palace deserves to have big, fuck-off, enchanted crystal-studded brass knuckles for fighting supernatural things. Girl is clearly not afraid to throw hands, she deserves it.

[apollosothertwin]

Apollo sucked all of Artemis’ romance out of her in the womb. that’s the real reason why she is aroace and he has so many relationships.

[notsocooljess]

a silly headcanon i have for peeta is that he is just LOUD. not just his feet when he walks. he has a voice that you can pinpoint out in a crowded room. his laugh can be heard above everyone else’s. sometimes when he gets excited his voice gets even louder and he has to ask katniss “i’m yelling, aren’t i?” when he notices her eyes getting wider. he can command a space with his words but also his sheer volume.

[greentrickster]

Reasonable assumption: Ace Attorney being an anime-style setting, having colours of hair that are impossible in our world is perfectly natural in theirs, and grey hair runs in Edgeworth's family.

Fun headcanon: Edgeworth was actually born with black hair and just went fully grey by the time he finished kindergarten.

[stxxryvoid]

˚₊‧꒰ა Silly Things That They Do ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ Genshin Impact

✧ Silly (and sometimes annoying) things that they do, but it's okay you love them anyway <3

✧ Featuring ✧ Childe, Heizou, Kazuha, Kaeya, Venti, Kaveh, and Itto x GN! Reader (Separate)

✧ Content Warnings ✧ Some swearing

✧ Childe

"Rise and shine sleepy head!" No further explanations needed.

He'll roll you up in your blankets for no apparent reason and then leave before you can escape the soft prison he put you in.

If you're going to jump on the bed he'll mf snatch the pillow and you fall on the bed itself.

When he's cooking he'll def shape the food into cute shapes.

He'd probably find something you're looking for and say he doesn't know where it is, but a while later will give it to you so you can praise him and give him a kiss.

Comes up from behind you and puts his hands over your eyes saying: "Guess who?"

Tells you to stay out of trouble when he's gone even though anything you do will never amount to the shit he does when he's working.

✧ Shikanoin Heizou

Kicks your feet under the table like he's a damn child.

Anytime he does something he expects a kiss as a reward.

He could literally open a jar you couldn't open and expect a big kiss and cuddles.

If you ask him to make you coffee he'll definitely make it!

You just won't get it unless you get up yourself because you only asked him to make it not bring it.

But if you ask him next time to bring the coffee he'll bring the whole ass coffee pot bc you didn't ask for it in a cup.

Will blame you for him waking up late on a work day when he's the one staying up late to work on cases.

Gets genuinely offended when you tell him no fried food bc it's not good for him.

He does a ">:(" and gives you one-worded responses for an hour.

He's not mad he's just the biggest tease to exist on Teyvat.

Start getting actually upset and he actually feels so bad and does anything to make it up to you.

✧ Kaedehara Kazuha

Comes up behind you without making a sound says "Hi." and scares the living daylights out of you.

If you catch him doing smth he'll use such poetic words you can't even understand to get out of the situation.

Starts spitting poetry out of nowhere.

It could be dead silent between the two of you and he gives you a romantic poem.

If he's cooking he will put food you do not like in there but hide it so well it tastes good to you.

While you're eating he'll stare at you like 🙂

Then you realized you fell victim to eating smth like brussel sprouts again.

If you're working he'll deadass show up in your office or smth.

Like how??

No notification from your coworkers and you js look up he's there.

Kazuha 10/10 horror movie killer material, silent footsteps, appears out of nowhere, unsuspecting, and has a sharp weapon

He knows so many cats like wtf

A cat comes up to him he pets it and says "Hi, cat name." AND DOES IT W SO MANY CATS??

✧ Kaeya

Okay I know I called Heizou the biggest tease but I changed my mind.

If Heizou is the king of teasing Kaeya is the all knowing, all powerful, all mighty god of teasing.

Flirts with you at the most random times.

Could be fighting some monsters he decides its the best time to try a new pick up line.

And it's always the best one's too, but he decides to save the horrendous ones for completely normal times.

He has no life.

With no cavalry to captain he can't be the cavalry captain so with nothing to do most of the time he's glued to your hip.

He'll play with your hair in front of someone no matter how many times you smack his hand away.

Claims he needs some random article of clothing on him fixed just so he can have your attention.

Y'know that thing where you bump your hip on someone to make them trip/fall over?

He does that.

If you stumble he'll act like he did nothing and turn the other way.

If you fall and it's hilarious he'll laugh before helping you up.

But if you fall and hurt yourself he'll actually feel bad and help you up and make sure you're okay. He's at your beck and call for the rest of the day.

He needs attention.

It's like taking care of a big cat.

✧ Venti

Also does the hip bump thing.

If you go to find him after he does some drinking he could be in the most random ass position ever.

Laying back down legs up against a building.

Passed out on some hay in a crate.

Sleeping under a bench.

You can't even be surprised anymore.

His feet are actually icebergs.

When he takes off them stocking things he puts his feet on you and your body temperature decreases by 20 degrees.

Styles his hair and yours in the most random ways.

If you wear makeup he took it once and ended up looking like a barbie doll got into a street fight and lost.

Sings you songs about the most random shit.

He turned milk and cookies into a song.

Meowing back at cats is normal.

But he barks back at dogs and really puts the enthusiasm in it..

✧ Kaveh

Plays with his food.

Moves it around on his plate to form shapes before he actually eats it.

Sometimes is drinking while he draws things and was painting once and ended up drinking the paint water on accident.

He spat it out and started rubbing his tongue while you and Al haitham were like 🤨

Thought all he loses are his keys?

Nah everything he's touched has been lost at least once.

He's still looking for some things that vanished into thin air.

He sometimes talks in his sleep.

Mostly about you, cats, dogs, and food.

He's actually so knowledgeable on beauty products??

You could be buying something for skin care and he snatches it and says "No."

"Don't buy this..." and yaps on for a good minute.

Then he'll go and pick up smth else for you and buy it for you and you're js left there shocked.

✧ Arataki Itto

This man is the epitome of silly.

He also cant whisper for shit.

Do NOT shit talk someone to him all of Inazuma will know within 30 minutes.

He has so many spare combs.

A backup comb for his comb a back-backup comb for the backup comb a back-back-backup comb for the back-backup comb and so on...

Don't give him hot sauce. Just don't.

Do NOT mess up his hair. He'll be ":(" the entire day.

He knows about lots of good food.

Can he cook any of this good food?

Hell no.

If you cook him anything he'll be so happy and eats every last crumb, would probably eat the plate to get all the macromolecules of the food.

(If he even knew what a macromolecule is)

If you make him something it's treasured forever and the only fingerprints on it are yours and his.

Definitely owns a diary somewhere.

-Stxxry

[sharenadraculea]

If the primarchs had social media

Lion: There is nothing on his accounts. Not even a profile-picture. Someone is still logging into them every so often. Fulgrim: On all the plattforms. Primarely family-blogger: look at my perfect kids, my perfect spaceship, my perfect partner, my perfect healthy breakfest, my perfect make-up. OnlyFans-account on the side. Get‘s into controversies all the time. Perty: Angry rants. Has spent to much time on Twitter. Old man yells at cloud type of stuff. Jagh: And this is how we‘ll break the speed-limit today! Talks about bikes, how to mod them, drives them around very fast, ect. Occasional horse-pictures. Leman: Puppies! Just cute dog-pictures and -videos, of every canine he encounters in the galaxy Rogal: He isn‘t very good at social media. Sometimes posts bad selfies or pictures of his building projects. Completly ignores all of Pertys hate-comments Konrad: He writes fanfic. Edgy, dark, not very good fanfic. The protag is a clear self-insert and Mary Sue and brings justice to all the settings he puts them in. A ton of spelling errors. The plot barely holds together. He is very proud of it. Sang: He has official accounts with pretty pictures of him everywhere, but he has some private accounts that are just like his art and sometimes cute family pictures. Also why can I see Sang having a Vtuber-persona he livestreams with so people don‘t recognize him? Ferrus: Appears on Fulgrims accounts fairly often. Maybe does some gaming-content on the side Angron: Everything is very sporadic and when it‘s there it‘s pretty angry. Surprisingly talks a lot about issues with his disabilities and that he needs way more help than he get‘s and also all his trauma. Struggles a lot with typing and forming sentences, so it can be hard to understand at times. Roboute: A channel with tutorials for stuff like running a planet or putting on armour. If people ask him to explain something he can just send them a link. Morty: Not very active, sometimes pictures of some funky plants and little texts about them. Magnus: Video-essays. He dissappers for months and then returns with a four-hour-video (minimum) about the most random topic. Hugely popular. Horus: Look at my sexy abs! Look at my huge bicep! Soft-porn-pictures of him and his sons. Probally also had OnlyFans. Lorgar: Social media is great for preaching! So he does that! Deletes all his accounts after monarchia. Vulkan: Food! He loves trying out new recipes from diffrentc cultures! At the start of every recipe is a pagelong story, which people actually read Corvus: Also writes Fanfic. Very, very good fanfic if a bit edgy at times. Kind of has a rivalery with Konrad. Also runs a very active blog, about both writing and justice, with occasional bits about guerilla-warfare Alpharius Omegon: Just the worst trolls. Dozens if not hundreds of sockpuppet accounts. They are having a good time.

[unitedstates0fdakota]

I was talking about disco elysium with my friend and I mentioned Joyce not sleeping cuz of pale overexposure and that led to us talking about the hypothetical Elysium sigma males making tiktoks like “I don’t even sleep anymore thanks to the pale. I’m on that Grindset every hour of the day!” And the Elysium Andrew Tate posts a picture of him sitting in the pale with no shirt on. And then ppl on Twitter making fun of them like “sigma males getting pale radiation to own the beta males but they just end up going insane” “they’re already insane how is it gonna get worse” with some reaction gifs in there. Then pale researchers have to make their own tiktoks like “why you shouldn’t voluntarily overexpose yourself to the pale” and they just look so done.

[canonical-transformation]

"The simplest solution," says Lady Ningguang, "is to flood the market with a superior good."

"Flood...?" you say.

"I'll rephrase. You could give people something they want more than they want alcohol — something better, and something cheaper. Soon enough, only old rich bores will buy wine, and the industry will be gutted."

"Seriously?" says Beidou.

You shush her. "Go on," you tell Lady Ningguang.

"There's a kind of non-alcoholic bitters which will do the job perfectly," says Ningguang. "You'll need a steady supply of Oceanid hearts..."

"Ning, no," says Beidou.

"...aqua fortis, and a distillery."

"Ning, you can't just give a kid the recipe for Sinthe—"

"—Synthetic bitters?" says Ningguang. "Don't worry, it's perfectly legal to brew in Mondstadt."

Huh. "It's illegal in Liyue?" you ask.

"Yes," says Lady Ningguang, "but that's because we're all stuffy old grown-ups."

Oh, okay. That sounds fine then.

"Just as I promised, the winners of this contest may each ask me one question," says Lady Ningguang. "Beidou, Traveller, and Paimon have abstained, so that leaves the three of you."

Yun Jin asks her question first. It's a thinly veiled business proposition, a Hey, wouldn't it be great if we could work together?. It's not the sleaziest dealing you've seen, but eugh, self-serving grownups and their money money money, me me me. Typical.

(Ningguang invites her to perform at the Jade Chamber.)

Shenhe asks her question next, and it's really dumb, like, what should I do with my life?, where do I call home?. Props to her, though: normally when people her age ask those kinds of questions, they're sobbing into an empty margarita glass. Weird mountain lady looks way more dignified.

(Ningguang gives her the answer you would have given, but she makes it sound way more sophisticated. She's good at that, apparently.)

Then Lady Ningguang turns her gaze to you. "And you?" she asks. "What is your question?"

You cross your arms. "You already know what I'm gonna ask," you say.

"Perhaps I do," she says. "I'd like to hear you say it anyway."

Her face gives nothing away. She doesn't look like she's laughing at you. She looks like she might take you seriously. You've been wrong about that before, but it's a good sign at least.

Fine. You can do that.

"You'd better not laugh," you warn her.

"I promise," she assures you.

You nod, stand up extra straight, and ask:

"How do I completely, totally, one hundred percent destroy Mondstadt's wine industry?"

[ghcstao3]

i think it’d be funny the first time ghost and soap go on leave together, soap finds out that this big, stoic man gets regularly re-addicted to something like hay day whenever he has extended free time. his farm is like level 100+ and he is so serious about it

[cococaffeinated]

🎪A lil continuation of sorts!🎪

Thus, started Jax's "if the gods allowed me to live one more day, I'm gonna make it everyone's problem" coping mechanism! /hj This is just a silly lil headcanon, by the way, in case that needs to be restated~

I drew a lil cameo of the other already-abstracted-folk to put a vague stamp to this period in time, which explains why Kinger here is a lil more "put together".

I just wanted to play around with the silly idea that maybe Kinger and Gangle were the first two people to ground Jax into his new normal. There's no real theory/justification behind this hc, I just love this trio so much and I noticed that a lot of Jax's frames have him between the two and thought that was pretty sweet~!

┏━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┓ The first part's here 🎪 ┗━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━┛

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

is it gay to collect lots of lore on your new girlfriend, make it into a binder, and then hide it under your shared bed where she will absolutely never find it???

Vaggie: "Charlie? Uh, quick cleaning question."

Charlie: "Hmmmm yeah??"

Vaggie: "So I was looking under the bed-"

Charlie: "Under the b-" (LEAPS across the room) "-NO WAIT LEMME DO THA-"

Vaggie: "-and there's this binder, with my name on it."

Charlie: "AHH!!"

Vaggie: "In your handwriting?"

Charlie: "AAHHHH!!!!"

Vaggie: "It's about the size and thickness of a telephone book-"

Charlie: "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH....!!!!"

Vaggie: "Babe. Do I wanna know."

Charlie: "IT'S NOTHING CREEPY OR WEIRD I SWEAR!!!!!"

Vaggie: "... that honestly just makes it weirder. What's even left?"

Charlie: "Normal stuff! Just, normal everyday Vaggie-related observations! In alphabetical order. And. Cross filed by category and sub grouping, for quick reference."

Vaggie: "..."

Vaggie: "You've made a reference book on me."

Charlie: "Okay, now when you say it like THAT it sounds WEIRD!"

Vaggie: "Any, uh, particular reason you're doing this?"

Charlie: "My brain likes knowing things about you. I mean, I like knowing things about you."

Vaggie: "What... kinda things?"

Charlie: "Can I see the binder? Thanks." (pages through) "Ah-hem. Things Vaggie doesn't like! Not having wings, back pain, back pain from not having wings anymore, people being rude to me, not stabbing people who're being maybe a bit rude even though she really wants to, leaving her spear at home on dates so she doesn't stab people with it, stuff being messy even though she tries to hide how grumpy it makes her when I don't fold the towels up again, guitarists, swords, angels, any mention of heaven-"

Vaggie: (sweating) "H-how 'bout some examples from another category, sweetie?"

Charlie: "Right! Ummm- okay. Things Vaggie likes! High places! Backrubs- especially after she's slept wrong again because we cuddled the wrong way during the night oops- the way her hair looks now it's growing out long! Long gloves and thigh high stockings! Cleaning! Doing stuff together- like tidying up our room! Buying me binders so I can keep my notes together instead of stacking them piles in our room! Threatening people! Threatening people specifically with-"

Charlie: (growling) "Her. Spear."

Vaggie: "What?"

Charlie: "Nothing!" (goes back to smiling) "Holding hands!- with me. Snuggling!- with me. Kisses!- again specifically with me. Staring up at the light of heaven from high places-!"

Vaggie: "And you."

Charlie: "-and me! ...And me?"

Vaggie: "I like staring at you, too."

Charlie: "....."

Charlie: "Can you- hold on just ONE moment I- I need to make a note and, for that I need a glitter pen..."

Vaggie: "You're writing all this down in glitter pen?"

Charlie: "I want it to be cute! Like you!!!"

Vaggie: "And I kinda wanna kiss you."

Charlie: "You- because of the, weird non-creepy binder thing??"

Vaggie: "Yep."

Charlie: "....Noted!!!" (snaps binder SHUT) "I can totally make the actual notes later though, you know, if you want to do the kissing thing right now inste- Mmf!"

[total-drama-brainrot]

Decided that Alejandro has the ugliest, rattiest cat known to man at home.

José asked for a puppy for his 15th birthday and got a super fluffy Samoyed (or some other expensive breed). Alejandro asked for a cat for his 15th birthday and was given the mangiest little kitty from the animal shelter.

He cherishes his cat though. He named her Reina.