#Signal pen

[lejoursobre]

Tiny doodles are back! 💖🤏💖

[maxphilippa]

EVERYONE IS GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

HOORAY!!!!

magma bucket tag: @andeisafag

spoon tag: @si74c

cobalt blue tag: @ebbpup

[apollorobin]

ho-tan time bc i LOVE HERRRR

[graementality]

More sketches of @sunnydayaoe 's High Voltage au of HMS :D (mainly Mind/Circuit bcus I LOVE his design)

☀️☀️☀️

[marq-lynch]

Going All In - (Aug 2018 / Sep 2023)

[filmbyjy]

they don’t know I’m filmbyjy🤫🤫

[vulpixelates]

happy pride month, friends!

as is the yearly tradition, my wife and i are once again recruiting fellow sapphics to our supportive, 18+ community of creative folks from all mediums, including poetry, nonfiction, fiction, art, crafts, and music. our small but active discord community also includes (but is not limited to) the following:

workshop spaces to share your work, and to give and receive constructive critique

spaces to discuss all things creative, including media and the creative projects that you're working on

co-working sessions in voice chat

space to share experiences with supportive folks who understand queerness

a zero tolerance policy for transphobia, lesbophobia, butchphobia, misogyny, racism, ableism, etc.

if you're interested in more information or an invite, please send me a message 💖 we would be delighted to welcome you!

[rabbit-rays]

trying to remember to draw. you must occasionally draw your most miserable ocs smiling for your own health

[ebthestarryknight]

I'm still trying to figure him out

[polinweek]

We're at the halfway point of Polin Week, Dearest Readers!

Your Day Four prompts are:

pen pals

modern AU

[fuckyeahvarric]

Return of Dork Inquisitor Mally Trevelyan

[lejoursobre]

More dumb doodles ✨ I made them from all the random sheet of paper I doodled on this past month that's why there are so many 😅

[radicheart-a]

(( Sudden mental image of Cal mindlessly chewing on an alternate's antlers... ))

[graementality]

@sunnydayaoe 's High Voltage au HMS !!

These guys have taken hold of me and I can't escape they're so cool, I love this au!!!

I've done a couple more sketches of the guys which I'll post in a minute too!

[wipbigbang]

The final round of art claims is open at @wipbigbang! We have all sorts of great stories left in multiple fandoms, and we'd love any type of fanart for them: traditional art, digital art, fanmixes, moodboards, fic covers/chapter headers...any kind of art you can imagine!

The synopses are located at https://wipbigbang.dreamwidth.org/173272.html

The form is located at https://forms.gle/yyxkCxyXJopMTyUs8.

World of the Five Gods (Bujold)

#185

Title: Penric's Last Ride

Pairing/Characters: Penric kin Jurald & Desdemona

Rating Teen | T

Warnings/Tags: Major Character Death

Reiterating the fact that Pen and Des do both die, though it's not intended to be a tragedy (ends of long and happy lives). A fair bit of discussion of a saint "eating" Desdemona for being an ascended demon, which could have triggering parallels to real-life issues such as capital punishment, self-sacrifice, or abortion. Unintentional mind control (the aforementioned unintentional ascension).

Summary: Pen and Des have had a long and happy partnership together as demon and rider, but Des is well aware that humans don’t live forever, and one last mission to deal with an invading army proves to be Pen’s last. Now Des is stuck as an unwillingly ascended demon with an unresponsive rider. Des may be struggling after outliving yet another rider, but being eaten by a saint and dissolved back into chaos isn’t her preferred outcome either. But maybe, just maybe, the Lord Bastard has more grace for his demons than any of them ever realized.

[thebanaltongue]

As we enter into 2025, it's time for a look back and reflection.

Personal thoughts/diary below the break.

I have, for the most part, let go of the past relationships that got me here. That there was never, and likely will never be, any kind of closure is something that took awhile for me to settle with, but acceptance of that fact has brought a certain sense of peace even still.

The decade following my graduation from University until my husband and I moved out of Cincinnati marked the darkest point of my life. Most of my friends from college either moved away or settled in Columbus which was a couple hours from Cincinnati, and of course there were jobs and children and families starting which meant staying in contact with people was much harder.

I ended up fairly isolated, and subjected to what I can only describe as extreme emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of my SIL and her wife. It's much easier to recognize now, with time and distance (and a lot of therapy), but when I was in it, it was much harder to see, much less escape from.

What complicated matters even more was that I honestly believed R was my best friend. We talked every day, I shared everything with her. And she, of course, knew her wife didn't like me. Confirmed that J was difficult, acknowledged that she could be a bully, then assured me that it wasn't personal. Later on, she would admit to me that J was, in fact, abusive in every possible way to her.

This is the part that I have struggled with the most and that I come back to more often then I care to admit. That gives me the biggest struggle when it comes to just letting go of the past and moving on with my life.

False abuse claims are incredibly rare. And it's been well confirmed that J is an abusive person; I was subjected to it for years, and TJ dealt with it growing up. J has said to me more than once, and in the company TJ, and even in front of our therapist that she would intentionally do things that she knew would upset me because it made her feel "vindicated" because she didn't like me and that meant she was "winning". She wanted to elicit a rise out of me, in order to make me seem like the unstable one. People like that need you to be the bad guy, after all.

After telling me this, she would then accuse me of "always assuming the worst" about her, and of course R would agree that it wasn't fair that I assumed such things, gently pacifying me that it was crazy to think J was just out to get me constantly.

It's very easy to look back now and see how sinister that was. At the time, I was so deep into gaslight hell that I couldn't see it. I thought I was crazy, I really thought maybe I was over-reacting, maybe it was me.

This is just one example. I suffered for 10 years of this kind of mental mind-game with J and R. My own behavior became increasingly erratic and unstable. I'm not proud of a lot of my behavior, my actions, during this time. Looking back, I don't even recognize that person, and the cognitive dissidence has been insane to try to reconcile who I was under that level of abuse, with who I am now that I'm out of it.

I know J use to be pretty physically violent with TJ. They have a ton of stories of being pushed down the stairs, having mean pranks pulled on them, their childhood house had holes all throughout it by J's temper. I once witnessed her take her plate of food and smash it over TJ's head, then throw them up against the wall by the throat. I can't remember what incurred her anger that time but I was only 15 when it happened and I still remember how badly I was shaking just being present for it. Again, this is just one example.

So when R told me that J was abusive to her, I don't think it's surprising at all that I believed her. Unfortunately for R, this confession came hand in hand with the admittance that she had feelings for me and wanted us to be together. This was not the first time R had confessed to having feelings for me - she'd done it in high-school, and again during college when she wrote me a love letter when she was already dating J. I think she'd hoped I would tell her that she should have left J and that we could be together.

I didn't. Instead I turned down her advances and said that if things with J were as bad as she said they were, that she should make an exit strategy and leave her. And if she wasn't ready for that yet, that she should get them into couples counseling asap. She didn't do either of these things. After I turned her down, she started to distance herself from me.

Later, she would say she wanted to see us because her mother was in a terrible car accident. When we went to see her after two years of no contact, she changed her story and to say that she made up the entire thing about J's abuse, that they didn't have any relationship problems, and she blamed me for pressuring her into "telling me what she thought I wanted to hear". Then asked if we could start inviting her to group things again, clean slate. TJ and I stuck to the boundary we had originally set: if either of them want to have any kind of relationship with either of us, then attending a family therapist was a must. J had agreed - to this day, R has refused.

And yet, in spite of everything, this is the part of my past that I dwell on the most. Was R really that conniving, that sinister, that level of unhinged that she would create a false abuse claim? Was she intentionally acting as a master manipulator for whatever reason? Or is she a true victim of abuse and her actions as a flying monkey just a symptom of that? Should I have done more to get her out of an unsafe situation? Tried harder to reach her and pull her out with me?

At the end of things, I have no answers; there is no closure for this. There is something obviously, deeply damaged and hurt within her; whether it's abuse or some type of Cluster B personality disorder or something else entirely. But I'll never know, I'll never have those answers. I can only hope she's getting the help - in whatever form - she needs.

I can hope she's safe.