#Shtish talks

[shtish]

Someone once said that if you're sad or pissed off you should bake, because even if you're still pissed off by the end of it at least you'll have baked goods. I'm taking it to heart.

[torak-and-human]

Hello!

This is the human of Torak speaking. You may call me Shtish, or Human, or His Human.

I'm writing this less than a week out from actual Torak acquisition. Currently, he's still at the animal shelter and we're still working on getting ready for his arrival. We being my mom, our cat, and I. Not that the cat's doing much, but shhhh.

Torak will be my first dog as an actual adult, second dog overall in my life. I'm super excited to welcome him to the family soon!

I'll post more in a couple of days, it's midnight here and I really ought to be asleep... But yeah! Exciting stuff!

[shtish]

I'd like to add on to this a bit!

I started a project like this two years ago, because I realized that I was extremely privileged. I was 26 and I had all of my grandparents, and I knew very well that was rare. So, I wrote down a couple of very simple questions like when they were born, where they grew up, and what they liked doing, and I started asking my questions with my phone's recording app running in the back.

It was a bit awkward sometimes, especially with my mom's mother, because she insisted she had nothing to tell. I disagreed, so I asked her how she got her name, and she began telling me the story of the nurse in the hospital who gave her parents the idea for it. I asked about her parents from there, and I think we talked for about half an hour before the dogs came back from their walk with mom and grandma said she needed to start cooking.

And then I lost my grandma. It happened one year ago, half a year after I recorded that tiny bit of footage. It's so precious to me, even though I've managed to listen to it only once so far, and not even all the way through. I think I recorded her laughing somewhere in there, but I haven't gotten to that part yet. I'm not sure I've got the strength for it right now. I do have the dogs coming in, and her talking to them, and talking to my mom. I honestly think that's my favorite part, that little bit of life that happened almost every time I was there. That rhythm of dogs that need walking, and dinner that needs cooking, and her daughter coming to talk. It feels like I'm there again for a little while, and I'll go help her do the dishes soon.

What I want to tell you with this is that no matter what you record, it will be precious material. I found it's less about the questions and more about having that record of her voice, her life. But I do have some tips that I hope can help you:

- Your family will probably ask you why you're doing this, that's what mine did, and I told them that it was for me and the other grandkids, because I wanted to know more about my grandparents as people. I forget stories told to me often, so I wanted to have a record for myself. If they say their lives weren't interesting, disagree, and tell them why they are to you.

- Aim for open-ended questions, rather than closed ones. "What was your family like?" rather than "Did you have a big family?"

- If they find it difficult to start talking in general, ask about something you know about them. "Where did you learn how to do [thing they're good at]? Who taught you? How did it go at first?" Or ask them about a memory they share with you. There's bound to be a story that they've told you before, ask them to repeat that.

- Do make a list of questions, but don't hold on to it rigidly. Conversation flows, sometimes you find a more interesting path to take than what you planned out. But if you get stuck, grab a question from the list.

- They might not want to talk about difficult things. My grandma told me at one point to turn the mic off, because there was a part that she didn't want me to record. Respect that too.

- Don't obsess over the perfect quiet place to focus on your recording. As long as you can understand their voice, it's okay to have other noises of their life in the back. It's wonderful to hear that back.

- It's okay if it's awkward.

- Ask them their favorite joke or saying. No reason beyond it being nice to know.

- Afterwards, make backups of your recordings. To the cloud, multiple devices, USBs, CDs, all of it. Just in case.

But most importantly: enjoy their presence. It's so precious that you get that time with them, and it's so so precious to have a record of them after they're gone. And if you love them, tell them that, literally, even if it feels weird and awkward. It's something I plan to do with my other grandparents soon. And I am going to ask my mom and aunt about my grandma and record their stories about her too. We'll probably cry a lot, but that's okay.

Good luck @mia-beak !

Hello Mr. Neil! Recently I’ve been learning about how controlling my great grandfather was to my grandmother after he passed away last year and it made me realize how little I know about my family and their history. I want to ask my parents and grandparents more questions about what their lives were then and now while they’re all still here but I don’t know where to start. I’m a writer too-so I’m also hoping that I could record their stories privately for posterity.

Do you have any tips on speaking to one’s own family about their pasts? Thank you for your time.

The only tip I have is don’t put it off. When you do you realise one day that the people you needed to talk to aren’t around any longer.

[high-quality-nonsense]

Shtish: We can't jump out of the window to get it

Raptor: ... the blood?

Shtish: ...

Shtish: I was talking about that tunic

Raptor: O H

Sketcher: Don't jump out of the window to catch the blood, that is illegal

[shtish]

Listening to The Bifrost Incident and the exchange between Loki and Thor is so good y'all

"For vengeance."

"For love."

"Die in peace."

"Die in honor."

Goosebumps every time... 😭

[shtish]

Okay so I broke my "no buying books until you've at least read all the ones you own physically" last Thursday. One of the books that I broke the rule with was "Nettle and Bone" by T. Kingfisher aka @tkingfisher aka @ursula-vernon. To my great pleasure, I realized I still got it. I can still read more than 300 pages in a single day and finish a book.

I've read a bunch of her short stories over the years, and I return to "Summer in Orcus" about once every summer, drinking it in greedily since I no longer have to wait for the next chapter to be released. I was always vibrating with excitement when they dropped. And now I own a physical book! And it's not Summer, but it's Marra and her Bonedog and the dust-wife and Fenris and Agnes and the demon chicken whom I love and would probably rather not have as a pet, if only because I'm sure she'd laugh at me when I did something silly. Then again, maybe it's good to have someone else to laugh with you when you're silly. I usually do anyway, but it might be good to add a chuckled cluck as an extra undertone, you know?

Anyway, all of this is to say that it was a delightful read. Ursula Vernon's storytelling is so quintessentially hers, somehow. It sounds silly to say it that way, but that's the simplest way to say it. Her voice is so strong and lovely and so dry sometimes, and it leaves my heart laughing.

It's good, is what I'm meaning to say, in so many words. I'm keeping this one on the shelf, and I'm giving it the spot with the favorites, and some others will have to scoot. I'm running out of shelf space either way. I can't wait to have a home of my own so I can get the biggest book case and give every book the place it deserves.

Okay. That's all I've got, I think. I'm heading off to bed.

Go read "Nettle and Bone". And feed your chickens and bone dogs.

[shtish]

My Crohn's hates me today and I hate it right back FUCK

[shtish]

My left ear is blocked completely for the second time in my life and I am already climbing up the walls ready to bite any god that comes close to me

[shtish]

Spinning Silver was so fucking good you should all pick it up and read it.

Mild spoiler below because I NEED to get it off my chest before going back to read the last 70 pages again because OH MY GOD. So good.

Go read it. Get off my blog.

I got Tiffany Aching vibes from both Irina and Miryem. Brave and clever and stubborn because those are YOUR people and it's YOUR right and YOUR worth and you better fucking step off.

[shtish]

As always, feel free to elaborate in the tags!

[shtish]

Still on my Skyrim and Lucien ride, but I'll put this under a read more for those that want to get Lucien on their own (you should, he's hilarious, I love my little science boy)

The SECOND he mentioned an assistant, I fucking knew he'd unleashed the murder AI into some sort of construction so it could WALK AROUND because that's a GREAT IDEA that CAN SURELY NOT BACKFIRE

...

Okay I admit I too felt kinda bad for the murder AI and I'm curious to see where this will go BUT ALSO LUCIEN WHY

[shtish]

My newest DnD character is unhinged: she feeds seagulls

[shtish]

This is profoundly silly but every time I wash my hair I have to let it air-dry loose so the curls don't get messed up, and my hair has gotten quite long. This leads to me sitting in places and just moving back and forth because my hair is doing all kinds of fun bouncy things in front of my face. Excellent entertainment.

[shtish]

I lost my self-made scarf in the bus yesterday, but I just got the email that they found it!!!! I'm so excited!!!!!

[shtish]

Blegh. Had a weird day full of cramps and it was weird at work now I had one fucking glass of spiced wine and my head is spinning a bit and just fuck this day man

[shtish]

I hit 50 books!