#Shout out to 1) a fic where Shepard did step out of the way but Garrus decided to spare Sidonis in the end | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tealenko · 3 years ago

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Never Have I Ever (Chapter 1)

Chapter 1: Whatever it is that Turians do When they're Happy

I'm sure somewhere in the world it's still november 7... so happy N7 day to everyone lol I wrote this to celebrate it!!!

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This is the best thing I've ever wrote. That's it.

I'll leave at the end the translation for the Spanish stuff.

There's some reference to my fic Somebody that I Used to Know (but you can follow the story if you haven't read it). This is now part 3 of my Through Hell and Back series.

A MASSIVE shout out to @nothisis-ridiculous (who is the main reason I was able to finish this) and to @halesshepardn7 and @yellingaboutmasseffect for suggesting the nicknames!!!

Summary: Garrus gets to the conclussion that Shepard and Kaidan are back together, what better way to find out than to teem up with Vega to get Kaidan drunk and discover if it's true?

Words: 5367 Rating: Teens and up Warning: Tons of alcohol

Next chapter -> [link] Read in AO3 -> [link]

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“Singing?” Liara asks, thinking she must have heard wrong.

“Hum.” Tali nods at her.

Liara looks around the kitchen area, making sure there’s no one too close to them, and, leaning forwards to rest her weight on the table, she asks about it again.

“Shepard… Singing?” She inquires a second time.

“Yeah...”

Liara and Tali look at each other with a confused look on their faces. Not really sure what to think about the whole situation. The asari is the first to make up her mind, deciding her friend has surely misheard or confused the commander with another person.

“You must be mistaken.” Liara affirms with a low tone in her voice.

“I’m not.” She responds right away. “I swear.” The quarian nods as she says all this, convinced of what she’s telling her.

They sit in silence for a few seconds. Liara’s face is still showing doubt, but she starts to wonder if it can really be true, hearing her friend’s response.

“What’s wrong?” Garrus says, appearing out of nowhere. “What did I miss?” He takes a few steps, joining the group and sitting down next to Tali, resting his arms on the kitchen table.

“Nothing...” Tali replies, turning to speak with him. “I was just asking Liara if she knew if it’s normal behaviour for a human to sing out loud when they are alone.”

“Oh, I see.” He thinks about it for a few seconds, forming an opinion about the matter, before he starts speaking again. “I’d say that it depends on the human… Yes. Who are we talking about?”

He waits patiently for an answer to his question, neither of them knowing who should speak first. Both of their gazes meet and, after a few seconds, Liara smiles softly at Tali and decides to give him an answer.

“Shepard...” She says, in disbelief.

“Huh. Well that’s strange.” He replies shortly without a second thought.

“Strange falls short… I mean, Shepard. Our Shepard. Singing.” Liara raises her hand in complete awe, still not believing what Tali just told her. “That kind of behavior doesn’t feel like her at all… I mean, she doesn’t even have a sense of rhythm.”

“No, that’s where you're mistaken.” Garrus says like what he’s about to say it’s common knowledge. “I mean, haven’t you ever fought with her?”

“Erm… Yes. But what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Shepard is always listening to music during combat, or at least on every occasion when she’s far enough from the first line of fire… Helps her accuracy with the sniper. And, don’t tell her this, but I started to use the trick, it’s a good one.” Garrus looks at the surprise in their faces as he finishes saying this, discovering maybe he’s the only one who knows that about Shepard. “Didn’t you know?”

“No.” Both of them say at the same time, a little bit shocked they weren’t aware of all that information until now.

“And I’ve heard her singing before too. Humming tunes and all that kind of stuff.” Garrus replies. ”It’s one of the first things I noticed about her back in the old days.”

“Then why did you say it was strange then?”

“Well, it’s been quite a while. Years, I would say, since the last time I… ” Garrus has a small moment of clarity and pauses right away. He looks at the ceiling for a second and smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy. Finally. He thinks, trying to contain his elation the best he can.

After a few seconds he comes back to reality, moving his eyes a couple times from Liara to Tali and vice versa in order to see if they have reached the same conclusion he has.

Once he realizes they haven't, the turian stands up and looks in the starboard port direction.

“She listened to me...” He says mainly to himself. She actually listened to me… I can’t believe it.

“Huh?” Tali asks, trying to understand his strange reaction.

“Errmm… That you shouldn’t listen to me.” Garrus responds as he comes back to reality. “You know what?” He says looking for an excuse to go and find out if his suspicions are true. ”I haven’t slept too much lately… Carry on, I’ve got things to do.”

Garrus disappears in a few seconds, leaving Tali and Liara behind in the kitchen area, still confused about the whole conversation.

“EDI… Where is Shepard?”

“Engineering, talking to Javik.”

“Thanks.”

I’ll guess I’ll have to wait to confirm it.

He’s about to take the elevator when his path crosses with Kaidan, who’s on his way to the port observation.

“Well… He will do too.”

“Did you say something, Garrus?” Kaidan asks, not really sure if the turian was talking to him.

“Oh, hey Kaidan… Just talking to myself, don’t mind me. Taking a break?” Well… I guess trying doesn’t hurt… Although I really doubt he is.

“Yup.” The human nods and smiles at his friend.

“You?” He asks, completely surprised by his answer.

“Yeah, I know… What can I say?” Kaidan tries to control a yawn but he only succeeds half way, showing how much he really needs to rest.

“New ship, new you?” Garrus pats his arms, and they both start walking while Kaidan lets out a small laugh.

“Ha! Yeah, I suppose...” They both enter the room together. “You know, your knowledge of human sayings is starting to frighten me a little.”

“I’m getting quite good, don’t you think?” Garrus says, amused by his comment. “Let’s sit here.” He adds, pointing at the stools in the bar area. “Want a drink?”

“No, no drinks. I’m just looking for a short break.”

They sit side by side as Garrus starts to examine the different bottles to see if one of them is to his liking, carefully planning a strategy in his head to make Kaidan talk.

"Feeling better?" Garrus asks, pulling together the final pieces of the puzzle inside his head.

"What from?" He asks, a little bit confused.

"The headache. You looked very distressed yesterday." Kaidan tries to understand what he’s talking about and then he remembers. Flashes of him trying to get to Shepard’s quarters as fast as he could, having to deceive Garrus in order to get there, start running inside his head.

"Ah... Yeah, of course." He turns a little to avoid looking at the turian's eyes, knowing this one will be able to read right through his lie if he doesn't. "Way better."

"No wonder you look so happy." He responds, waiting patiently in order to see if his friend falls into the trap.

"Do I?"

"Yeah..." Garrus smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they're happy, completely enjoying how Kaidan's reaction is confirming his suspicions "You almost seem like the happiest person on this ship."

Kaidan looks to the ceiling, regretting what he's about to ask even before the question leaves his mouth.

"Almost... Who’s number one?"

"Shepard, of course."

Kaidan sputters in surprise, and prepares himself for what’s to come, trying his best to remain calm.

“Is she?” He asks with a little bit of hesitation in his voice.

“Yep.” Garrus keeps looking at him with an amused look on his face, enjoying this moment more than he thought he would. “Tali said she heard her singing.”

“I see.” Right when Kaidan thinks that the conversation can’t get worse the door opens to make him realize how wrong he is.

“Hey… Look who we have here. I thought you two didn’t know how to stop working.” James says entering the room, reaching the other side of the bar in just a few steps. “It’s so good to find you two here, I’ve been drinking with Esteban and can you believe el muy débil decided to quit after the fifth shot!?” He shakes his head, planting his bottle of tequila in front of them. “So… Let me make you some drinks… What do you want, Scars? Same as last time?”

“You don’t learn from your mistakes, eh Vega?” Garrus asks, making calculations inside his mind and quickly reaching the conclusion that James must, at least, drank three times more shots than the poor Steve.

“Only if my life it’s at risk.” He says right away, already examining the liquor options at the bar area.

“Precisely.” A quick memory of Shepard about to kill them flashes through the turian’s mind.

James laughs and hits Garrus on his shoulder.

“Come on, Scars. I think we should celebrate. We finally have some time off.” He waits expectantly for his reply.

“Well, you’re right about that… Last few days have been a nightmare, mission after mission… And...” He falls silent for a second, contemplating his options. “Oh… What the hell, mix me something Vega.”

James claps with excitement a couple of times.

“That’s the spirit! What about you, Major?” He says while grabbing a few bottles of the table. “You seem like a whiskey kind of guy.”

“Oh no...” He waves his hands a little to refuse the offer.

“Come on Kaidan, he hit the target.” Garrus adds, forming the beginning of a whole new plan in his head.

“Well yes, I do prefer whiskey… But I shouldn’t drink right now.” He tries to convince both himself and his friends.

“Why not? We’re off duty!” James replies right away.

“Yeah!” Garrus turns to look at Kaidan, designing the perfect battle scheme in an instant. “If we don’t take opportunities like this one to relax we’ll end up burning out.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Scars?” Vega says in a mocking tone, surprised by the turian’s behavior, which causes Garrus to laugh right away.

“It’s been a long week… We’ve gone to four different planets, I’ve shot at more things than I can count and I've also deactivated a bomb. I’ve been drenched, burned, gassed and electrocuted. I was close to getting killed on two different occasions. And, to top it all off, I almost got knocked down by Shepard when she threw her helmet against the wall the other day. So yeah, I think I’ve earned a good drink.”

“Eeyy… That’s the spirit.” Vega starts preparing the drinks with a big smile on his face. “Come on, boss… Have a drink with us.” He says to Kaidan, with the bottle of whiskey already in his hand.

“I really shouldn’t.” He hesitates in his answer even more this time, noticing that the whisky is of better quality than the usual poison stocked aboard the ship, and starts to wonder if Shepard has anything to do with it.

“Come on Kaidan, the universe isn’t going to fall apart just because you decide to take a night off.”

“Don’t jinx it.” James says, serving Garrus his drink.

“You know what I meant.” The turian grabs an empty glass and, in a single smooth motion, slides it across the bar so that James can grab it. “Come on, serve this man a drink! I want to make… What do you humans call it? Emmm...”

“Guys...”

“A toast.” James responds before Kaidan is able to cut them.

“Gu...”

“That! A toast… You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, just grab the glass, but we need to celebrate.” Garrus says to him, knowing perfectly well he won’t be able to resist once the drink is in his hands.

“I’m liking this new you.” James says preparing to serve the drink. “How do you take it? On the rocks?”

“God, no… Neat.” Kaidan says right away, almost offended by the thought of ruining a good whiskey with ice.

“I see… A man of taste.” James puts the drink in front of him. “Here… And for me, Tequila.”

Kaidan grabs his glass, finally giving up.

Well… It’s just one drink…

“Let’s do this toast thing...” Garrus raises his, mimicking James’ gesture from the last time they drank together.

“Hey, you remembered Scars!” He says ecstatically, replying with the same motion.

“Do I even want to know how he ended up teaching you that?” Kaidan asks, shaking his head in disbelief.

“No, no you don’t.”

“What’s wrong, Jimmy? Still afraid Shepard is going to kick your ass?” Garrus says, teasing him about their last poker room party.

“Hey Scars… I don't think we should revisit that chapter of our lives. Especially in front of the major.” He responds in a low tone, bringing his hand to hide his mouth from Kaidan. “You know, he’s right here. ” He adds in a whisper.

“‘The major’ already knows, Vega.” Kaidan says with a laugh. “And please don’t call me that, at least when we are off duty.” He says with a smile.

“Oh Kaidan… You don’t know what you just did.” Garrus pats his shoulder while he shakes his head and waits for the chaos to break loose.

“What?” He asks, confused.

“Oh, shut up Scars.” James says laughing. “He is right… I have to give him a proper nickname.” He starts taping the top of the bar, full with excitement.

“What now?” Garrus laughs at Kaidan’s reaction. “Well, what I meant is that you can call me by my name, just as everyone does.”

“And what’s the fun of that? Ah no, don’t worry jefe, I’ll think of something as the night goes on.” He says, right before hitting the bar with his hand, full of determination. “Come on, let’s toast, I’ll do the first one.” All of them raise their cups as an answer to James’ movement. “To new and old friendships.”

“Good one.” Garrus adds before they start drinking.

James downs his tequila and pretends to be offended when he sees the other two have only taken a sip. “Oh no gentleman, that won’t do it. Come on! All in.”

“You are drinking from a shot glass, Vega.” Kaidan remarks.

“It’s not my fault you chose your poison wrong. Now do it!” He moves his hands, ordering them to finish the whole thing.

Garrus laughs and chugs his drink, unable to counter James’ absurd logic.

“Come on Kaidan, don’t leave me alone here.” The turian pleads.

Kaidan smiles, looks at his whiskey and sighs.

“I already know I’m going to regret this.” He finishes his drink with a quick single motion, putting the glass upside down on top of the bar right after.

“Woooo! That’s what I’m talking about.” James is already serving the next round as he speaks, this time in shot glasses. “Way to go boss.”

“At least he’s no longer calling me Major.” Kaidan says to Garrus.

“And what about Major boss, ey jefe?” He says as he spills some liquor, laughing at his own joke.

“You’re truly evil, Vega.” Garrus says as Kaidan brings his hand up to cover his face. “Come on, it’s my turn.” He adds raising his glass.

James follows him right away and, after a moment of hesitation, so does Kaidan.

“For the Normandy.”

“For the Normandy!”

All three of them down their shot as fast as they can.

“Come on Vega, serve another round.” Vega obeys Garrus’ order right away.

“I don’t know if...” Kaidan, who is already noticing the effects of the drinks, tries his best to get out of the trap, but he isn’t even close to succeed.

“You have to say something too, Major.” James interrupts him, knowing exactly where to strike.

“I truly don’t know what to say… We’re back to Major, eh?” He sighs to the lieutenant.

“Don’t worry jefe…” He says, trying his best to control his giggles. “I... I’ll keep working on it.”

“Kaidan, don’t try to sneak your way out.” Garrus hands everyone his drinks as fast as he can. “You have the floor.”

“Okay, let me think.” Kaidan finally gives in. “I truly don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t you have anything you want to celebrate?” Garrus asks.

“Ermm… No”

“Nothing at all boss?” James looks at him expecting an answer. “Nothing new in your life?”

“Maybe we should ask Shepard...”

Kaidan almost exterminates Garrus with his glare the moment that sentence comes out or his mouth, and all he can do is look straight in his direction, shrug his shoulders and start smiling at him, or doing whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy, very pleased by his friend's reaction to his teasing.

James puts two and two together in an instant, understanding what Garrus is trying to do, and decides to join forces with him without giving it a second thought.

“That’s a very nice sentiment, Scars. Afterall, we would’ve never met if it wasn’t for her.” He says, perfectly knowing that wasn’t what Garrus was referring to. “So what do you say jefe? A toast for the commander?”

“Sure...” He replies, trying his best to avoid getting flushed, and raising his hand as fast as he’s able so that he can start to pretend this never happened. “To Shepard...” He says with a soft voice.

“To Shepard!” His two friends scream in unison and all three of them finish their drink in one gulp.

A quick and terrible idea crosses James’ mind once he puts his glass down and, as he prepares the next round, he starts laughing loudly at the thought of it.

“Oh, this can’t be good.” Garrus says to Kaidan, but the lieutenant ignores the turian’s comment and leans to rest his weight on top of the bar, needing the extra support to keep standing.

“Don’t you think…” He makes a short pause, trying to regain his balance. “Uff… That we should teach more human traditions to our turian friend here, jefe?” He says looking directly at Kaidan.

“Well... I guess… What do you have in mind?” He asks with trepidation.

“Never have I ever!” James shouts as he hits the table one more time.

“Oh no.”

“Oh yes! You’ll see, we’ll have a great time!” James replies as he passes the drinks around. “This way we can know each other better.”

“How does it work?” Garrus asks, immediately interested in the idea when he sees Kaidan's reaction to it.

“Easy, the purpose is to make others drink.” He turns to look at him and gives the full explanation. “So you say something like: Never have I ever… I don’t know… Gone to the Citadel. And all the people who have done it have to drink.”

“I see… So you wanna think about popular things you’ve never done, to make a larger group of people drink.” The turian says, after thinking about it for a few seconds.

“Yeah, exactly!” James replies, giving him a big thumbs up. “And you cannot lie by the way. If you’ve done it, you drink.” He adds with a wicked grin on his face. “That’s the main rule.”

“Okay, let’s do it.” Drinking a shot just to celebrate James’ idea.

“Wait, I haven’t agreed to this.”

“Oh, come on! We have to teach our turian friend here some proper human culture.” He says while he refills Garrus’ drink.

“I wouldn’t call that culture to be honest...”

“Sorry Alenko, it’s two against one, we win.” His friend says, agreeing with the lieutenant.

“Yeah, the magic of democracy.” James adds, pointing directly at Kaidan while he holds his bottle of tequila.

The three of them start to laugh in unison, already quite affected by all the drinks.

“Ayy...” Kaidan is almost in tears because of James’ antics. “That’s the stupidest response I’ve heard in a long time.”

“Come on Major boss… Let’s give our friend an example of how it’s played.”

“God, I can’t believe I’m actually going to agree to this...” Kaidan says sighing, looking at his shot of whiskey. “Oh, fuck it… Let’s do it.” He downs his shot as fast as he can, knowing he's gonna need to be drunk to get through this.

“Nice!” Garrus laughs even harder, filling with anticipation.

“Ok, Boss. Start.” James orders him once he finishes refilling his drink.

Kaidan thinks for a few seconds and taps the bar once he gets an idea that he likes.

“Hhmm… Never have I ever... Gotten drunk enough to piss off Shepard with my bullshit.”

“Ha!” James laughs, trying not to fall backwards. “You cheeky bastard!!” He drinks his shot of tequila, shocked by Kaidan’s sentence.

“And to think he was calling me Major a few minutes ago...” He says to Garrus, giving him a pat on the back. “This is when you drink Garrus.”

“I told you you were making a mistake about the whole Major thing...” The turian says before drinking his liquor. “The disrespect in this kid!” He says in a joking tone.

“You know you love me Scars… It’s your turn by the way.”

This time it’s Garrus who pours the alcohol, too excited about what he’s about to say to wait for James to do it on his own.

“Oh, nice. Easy. Never have I ever eaten levo food.”

“Wow… We really didn’t think this through, eh?” Kaidan says before they drink their respective shots. “I mean, he can pull stuff like that for the rest of the night.”

“Nah… Don’t worry about it jefe… And if he does, well, we’ll end up so drunk that you won’t be able to keep saying that you’ve never pissed off Lola with your bullshit.” Garrus and Kaidan start laughing in awe at James’ comment, seeing him grab the tequila bottle and drink directly from it. “I already know I’m going to finish it by the end of the night so...”

Kaidan needs to hold onto Garrus to avoid falling from his stool, laughing so much that he has to take a moment to calm down.

“You’ll end up killing the major, Vega.”

“Oh shit Garrus, don’t start with the major crap you too.”

“Couldn't stop myself, sorry Kaidan.” Garrus says, also ditching his glass and grabbing his bottle. “Come on Vega, it’s your turn… I think… I’m not quite sure.” He takes his hand to his head as he tries to remember.

“True.” James nods and fills Kadan’s glass with a big smile on his face. “Here, you’re gonna need it.”

“I see you are very confident Jimmy.” Garrus says with a mocking tone.

“Well, I can also use the same strategy you used. For example...” James moves his hands a few times, commanding them to drink, already knowing he has a major advantage over them. “Never have I ever… Defeated a rogue specter.”

James smiles triumphantly at his friends' reactions.

“Oh shit.” Kaidan downs the shot, already knowing this has only started.

“Great… Never thought being part of the original crew of the Normandy would come back to bite me in the ass.” The turian whines as he lets his head hit the bar.

“Ey! You remembered that one too!!”

“Seriously Vega, what are you teaching him?” Kaidan helps Garrus to sit properly on his stool, looking at him with concern.

“Ahhh… I don’t speak for drunk Vega, he has a mind of his own.”

“Great, now he’s speaking about himself in third person.” Kaidan grabs the bottle of whiskey and fills his glass while Garrus chugs his liquor directly from the bottle. “It's my turn, isn’t it? Are you sure you want to keep the party going Garrus?”

“Sure I… do” He replies, raising his bottle a little to cheer with Kaidan and taking another gulp. “Come on, go for it!”

“Yeah! Hit us with your best shot Major!”

“Ug...” Kaidan complaints.

“Sorry, Major boss!” James almost topples to the ground, extremely amused by his own joke.

“Very funny, eh Vega? Well…” He needs a second to compose himself, trying his best to put an authoritative expression on his face. “Let me put you in your place!”

“Come on Alenko!” Garrus screams. “Show this kid how to respect his seniors.”

“Ah nah, don’t be so friendly now with me Vakarian, you’re paying too, mr. I only eat dextro things.” He says the last part in a mocking tone, which makes the lieutenant laugh even more than he was already.

“Ehehehehe… He’s got you Scars!” James says, hitting the table right after. “Vamos jefe, hit us!” Kaidan smiles, ready to open fire.

“Never have I ever...” Kaidan pauses for dramatic effect. “Gone to Tuchanka to cure the genophage.”

“Well… Shit.”

“I think we should make a rule that we cannot count things we’ve done with Shepard.” Garrus complaints.

“Ah nah! That way you have the turian advantage all to yourself and we don’t.” James raises his bottles and waits for him to do so. “¡Salud hermano!” Both of them take a long sip, and right after they’re done, a new expression appears on Garrus’ face.

“Ohhh...”

“What?”

“I just had an… You know what?” Garrus says, doing his best to keep his poker face. “You’re going to find out in just a second. It’s my turn, isn’t it?”

The two humans nod, a little bit scared by the turian’s words.

“Ehehe...” Garrus laughs again and clears his throat. “Never have I ever...” After waiting a few seconds, he turns slowly so that he can look directly at Kaidan when he finishes his sentence. “Never have I ever... had sex with a superior officer.”

James loses it right away and starts laughing as hard as humanly possible, holding his chest and turning around, unable to stay still right in front of them.

The turian rests his elbow on the bar, enjoying Kaidan’s reaction, feeling more victorious than the last time he defeated a brute by himself, and smiling as much as he’s able, or doing whatever it is that turians do when they’re happy.

The poor Kaidan is completely defeated, looking at the ceiling and laughing a little, not truly believing this is really happening.

“Oh man…” Is the only thing they can hear from James, who is struggling the most out of them to keep breathing.

“You should’ve taken the offer of leaving Shepard related things out of the game Alenko.” Garrus adds, drinking again, completely forgetting the rules of the game.

“Is it too late to take the offer?” Kaidan pleads.

“Ah no...” James says after composing himself. “Bottoms up lover boy!”

“Oh God."

James’ sentence almost manages to kill Garrus, who is now hardly keeping his balance, holding onto the bar with both talons.

“Lover boy!” The turian says in between laughing his heart out, way too amused by his friend’s words.

Kaidan sinks further into desperation, witnessing James panting and wiping the tears from his face.

“I knew this was a bad idea from the beginning,” says Kaidan laughing, not really knowing what else to do. “I still don’t know… How on Earth did you manage to convinced me... to do this.”

He turns to avoid looking at his friends, currently falling apart because of the laughter, and drinks his shot as fast as he can. He’s about to fill his glass when he stops to think for a moment.

“Oh, fuck it!” Kaidan says, moving the glass shot apart and taking a big gulp right from the bottle. “Who cares anymore?”

His reaction makes Garrus and James laugh even harder, far gone to keep it together for the next few minutes.

Kaidan leans forward and lets his forehead rest on top of the bar, staying like this while his friends try to calm down.

“Wow...” Garrus finally manages to say. “I can’t believe you actually went there, Vega.”

“Me? You were the one who said the sex thing.”

“Maybe… But look what you did to our poor lover boy.”

Kaidan sighs and sits straight again, giving his friends his best “Really?” look.

“That's what you get for complaining about the whole Major thing, be careful what you wish for.” Garrus advises him.

“Hprf...” James starts to lose it again, even worse this time than the first one, crying while he tries to speak but only managing to mumble a few words, wheezing his heart out. After a few seconds like that he finally speaks between giggles, “Major lover boy!” Which makes them break into laughter all over again, this time not even Kaidan is able to keep it together, finally giving up and surrendering to the moment.

They stay like that for minutes. Laughing and crying, doing their best to keep breathing. And, everytime it looks like they're recovering, one of them makes a new joke and the whole thing starts all over again.

It takes them a few iterations to break the cycle and calm down, Kaidan being the first to speak once he’s able to do so.

“Ayy… That’s gonna follow me for all eternity, isn’t it?”

“Only when we’re drunk, jefe.” James says, giving Kaidan a pat on the shoulder. “I’ll have to search for a different one for when we’re on duty.”

“You do realise,” Garrus joins the conversation to pinpoint the obvious, “that you’ve been calling him “Jefe” the whole evening?”

“Ah yeah… I didn’t even notice.” James thinks about it for a couple of seconds, deciding if it sounds good or not inside of his head. “Yeah, I like it! Jefe it is… What do you think, Major lover boy?”

“As long as you don’t call me that in public… ” Kaidan agrees, leaning against the wall for support.

“Cool!”

“Who’s turn is it?” The turian asks, suddenly remembering they were playing a game.

“Vega, I think… Wait, why am I willing to keep playing to this!? I’m definitely gonna lose no matter what!”

“Come on Kaidan, we’re just having fun!” Garrus grabs him by the shoulders and brings him closer. “We didn’t cross a line here, didn’t we?”

“Nah… ” Kaidan smiles and shakes his head. “Takes much more than that to make me angry.”

“Eyy, that’s why I like you jefe.”

“It’s your turn, Vega”

“To what?”

“To play.”

“To what? Ah yeah...” James thinks for a couple of seconds before a wicked grin starts to form on his face. “Just so we’re clear…” He turns to look at Kaidan. “You’re not going to hold a grudge against us or anything like that, are you?”

Kadan nods, almost curious to see where this is going.

Garrus smiles, or does whatever it is that turians do when they're happy, knowing what James is going to speak about way too well.

“Cool then... ” His grin gets even bigger, anticipating Kaidan’s reaction to what he’s about to say. “Never have I ever… Never...” He starts laughing even before being able to finish his talking, way too amused about what he’s about to say. “Never have I ever...” He giggles a little more before he’s finally able to continue. “... had sex with a subordinate officer.”

They join James in his laughter the moment this one is able to complete the sentence. Kaidan and Garrus have to hold onto each other in order to remain seated and avoid falling to the ground, which only makes the situation even funnier for the three of them.

To everyone’s surprise, Kaidan is the one laughing the most, feeling so defeated by the whole game that he doesn’t even care about it anymore and, maybe it is the effect of the whiskey, but he’s starting to find everything his friends are saying more amusing than annoying.

After a few seconds, once he’s found his balance and managed to start breathing again, he grabs the bottle of whiskey and one shots what’s left of it, knowing very well how the night is going to end no matter how hard he fights against it, which makes his friends start to laugh even more.

“Ayy...” Says James, struggling to breathe. “I don’t know the last time I laughed so hard.” Garrus needs a few more seconds before he’s able to talk again.

“I do… Shepard almost killed us because of it.” The turian answers right away.

“That may happen again.” A fourth voice says, coming from the door.

James’ face, who is the only one with a visual of the entire room, changes right away, and the laugh is quickly replaced with fear.

“Well, mierda.”

“So...” Shepard says, waking to the bar and putting one of her hands on Garrus’ shoulder while the other rests on Kaidan’s. “Who’s gonna start talking this time?”

-------------------------

Spanish translations:

Jefe -> Boss

El muy débil -> the weak one (there's no direct translation that I know of)

¡Salud hermano! -> Cheers brother!

Mierda -> Shit

Btw, if you're interested, the song Shep was singing is "Baby Blue Love" by Twice

If anyone ends up reading this please feel free to suggest changes or prompts for the future.

Btw i'm from Spain, I've checked everything a thousand times but if something is wrong please forgive me.

#kaidan alenko #shepard x kaidan #shenko #mass effect #fshenko #commander shepard #fanfic #me3 #femshep x kaidan #mass effect 3 #n7 day

35 notes · View notes

veorlian · 4 years ago

Text

Idolatry - Concealed Carry

Note: Part 1/3 of the chapters on the Citadel DLC. Technically part of a much longer fic, but I think they stand up okay on their own! An everybody lives/nobody dies au except that I didn’t realize I could do that until 2/3 of the way through. Sorry Kaidan :(((((((

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian/Female Shepard

Rating: T for swearing and stabbing.

ao3 link

Excerpt:

Bullets rained down from the front of the restaurant, and Brooks let out a blood-curdling shriek. Shepard swore softly and dragged Joker down, lifting up their table as a makeshift barricade. A group of heavily armed individuals marched in, their faces masked.

“Tonight’s performance was brought to you by random acts of violence!” one of them shouted.

“Where’s Commander Shepard?” another yelled. “Find her!” They spread out through the restaurant, sending the civilians running.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. “Two hours. I’ve been on shore leave for two hours. They couldn’t let me have an appetizer first?”

One of the mercs hauled away Brooks, kicking and screaming. Shepard grabbed the knife she had tucked away in her coat.

“Why do you have that?? We were going for dinner!” Joker hissed.

“Would you rather I didn’t have it right now? I have a few others, do you want one?” she asked, taking stock of the room.

“No???”

Full text under the cut!

...

The apartment was huge. Shepard was sure there were other, fancier words to describe it, but she sure as hell didn’t know them. An entire wall was a window, looking out into the night lights of the Citadel. There were walls wholly covered in green, verdant plants that she couldn’t identify. There was a damn waterfall. Shepard let out a low whistle, looking around.

For the first time in weeks, she could breathe. These walls weren’t closing in on her, they were too far apart. The ceilings were vaulted like a church, reaching up into the sky.

She wandered down to what had to be the living room (two giant couches, a fireplace, a grand piano??), and the TV flickered on.

“Shepard, good to see you,” Anderson said. There were new wrinkles creasing his forehead. She could hear distant explosions in the background of the vid.

“And you. How are you holding up?” she asked.

“We’ve had better days,” he said wearily.

“I know what you mean.” Damn, did she ever. “But why am I in this apartment?”

“I want you to have it,” he said, and Shepard’s brows reached her hairline. “I bought the place for Kahlee and I to settle down. Thing is, the longer I stay on Earth, the more I don’t want to leave. Figure someone should get some use out of it.”

“That’s...very generous. Are you sure?”

“It’s practical. We need you at your best, and you need somewhere you can take a break.”

“I-- thank you,” she said. “I’m guessing I don’t have a choice anyways?”

“Not even a little bit. Make yourself at home,” he said, smiling. “You take care, Shepard.”

“You too, Anderson,” Shepard said. He nodded and stepped out of frame. Marie replaced him. Her hair was more grey than black now, but she was smiling nonetheless.

“Good to see you in one piece, Jeanne,” she said. “I hear you killed a Reaper single handedly. Have I mentioned that you should be more careful?” Shepard grinned crookedly.

“Once or twice, maybe.”

“Apparently it bears repeating.” The affectionate exasperation was palpable, even with the light years between them.

“How are things there?” Shepard asked. Marie’s face became carefully blank, but Shepard had known her since she was a child. She couldn’t disguise the look in her deep brown eyes, or the small frown on her lips. Easy to forget, impossible to forget, that she was only 24.

“We’ll make it,” Marie said firmly. And then, “You’ll make it too. That’s an order, Commander.”

Shepard’s grin widened, and she sketched a salute. “Yes, ma’am,” she said. Marie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. That was all that mattered.

“Go and get some rest, will you? The bags under your eyes are visible from Earth.”

“Harsh, but fair,” Shepard said easily. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jeanne.” The call disconnected, and Shepard glanced around her new place. Her new place. Even the church had never truly been hers. There weren’t many things she considered truly her own, she supposed.

There were recordings littered around the apartment. Apparently Anderson had taken down voice notes for his biography. She couldn’t help the small, fond smile that flitted across her face. Her hands paused above the one labelled Shepard on the kitchen counter (she’d never had her own kitchen before). She pressed the play button, and she listened.

“Sure, I can talk about Commander Shepard. Big topic. There’s been a lot written about the Commander, but most of it isn’t true. People are quick to judge. They don’t know the whole story, I don’t even know the whole story. But I know the woman. Worked with her, fought with her, trust her with my life. Shepard’s had some rough patches, who of us hasn’t? She’s been forced to fight a lot of battles alone. God only knows how she got out of some of that. Makes your head spin.”

Anderson’s warm voice filled the apartment, and his every word was laced with pride. Shepard realized belatedly that she was crying, hot tears painting her cheeks. Gently, she sunk to the floor and rested her head against the cupboard. She thought of Aratoht then, as she always seemed to. Makes my head spin too, she thought.

“Thing is, you never heard a complaint. Never once got ‘no sir, I can’t do that.’ She never hesitated. Few people know what Shepard’s been through. I like to think I come pretty close. And I worry sometimes she forgets: there’s a whole bunch of people who lose sleep about her getting back home. Maybe it doesn’t need to be said. Maybe we’re just to dumb to say it. Soldiers like the Commander are rare. Women like Shepard...even more rare.” Anderson’s voice drifted away.

I just...you don’t need to do everything alone anymore, you know? Garrus had said. Maybe they were right. Her heart was so full. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the warm feeling in her chest. Loved, maybe? Not a word she was used to choosing, but it fit the bill. She carefully picked herself up and dusted herself off, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Her private message terminal was blinking, and she went to check her unread messages. There was a note from Joker asking him to meet him at a sushi restaurant. Huh. She’d never had sushi before. No time like the present, she supposed.

Shepard glanced down at herself. Perhaps, she thought, her N7 hoodie and cargo pants wouldn’t be appropriate for an upscale sushi place. She wandered upstairs and peeked into her room (there was a hot tub. She’d...well, she’d never had a bath before. No bathtubs in the Alliance). She tugged open the closet and her eyes widened. There was that dress Kasumi had insisted she keep, but next to it was something else entirely. Reverently, she ran her hands over the fabric. It was soft to the touch, velvet maybe? She pulled it out.

It was a suit. It had to be a suit, although it was unlike any she’d ever seen before. The matching pants and jacket were there, but that’s where the similarities stopped. It was a deep blue, but as the fabric shifted in her hands it looked dark burgundy. There was a matching silk black camisole to wear underneath. It felt luxurious, soft as a cloud. She’d never owned anything this expensive that didn’t fire bullets. There was a small note tucked in the pocket.

Thanks for all your help. Consider this an early birthday gift. Who knows, by the time you take a break it may be your actual birthday. I think I’ve got the measurements right, but nobody’s perfect. - Miranda P.S., there’s a white shirt as well, but it’s much harder to get blood stains out of white silk.

Shepard smiled down at the note, and very carefully got dressed, anxious not to damage the clothes. She tugged on the heeled boots that seemed to go with it, and examined herself in the mirror. Miranda might insist that she wasn’t perfect, but she’d done a damn fine job with this. The cuffs fell to the exact right spot on her wrists, and for the first time in her life, the legs were long enough. The boots had a low heel, comfortable and well-balanced enough that she could run.

And Miranda, blessed Miranda, had included a concealed pocket for a switchblade. Shepard loosened her strict braid into something a little more casual, and she smiled at herself in the mirror one last time. Then she left for sushi.

The lineup outside the restaurant was around the block and then some. The people waiting were distinctly unhappy that Shepard had a reservation. If looks could kill, Shepard would have been pushing the daisies. She strode past the glares with practiced ease. Joker was seated at a table at the back, and he waved her over.

“Just gotta save the galaxy twice to get a place here, huh?” he said. “Hey, maybe when we do it again they’ll let us eat free!”

“That’s the spirit,” Shepard said. “How are you enjoying your vacation?”

“I feel like I should go check the Normandy for missing parts,” he griped. “I don’t trust those engineers.” Shepard chuckled and patted him on the arm.

“She’ll be fine, Joker. She’s been through the Omega 4, she can handle a few repairs. Relax, you’re on shore leave.”

“I’m gonna need a lot more drinks with umbrellas in them,” he said mournfully.

“I’m the first human Spectre. I’ll get you two umbrellas,” she said wryly.

“Awesome use of power, boss! So, what’d you ask me here to talk about? Your note said it was important.”

“Me? You invited me here,” Shepard said, her eyebrows knitting together.

“Commander Shepard, please I need to talk to you!” A young woman in an Alliance uniform pushed her way forward, with the maitre d’ shouting after her. The people in line looked positively murderous.

“Can I help you?” Shepard asked politely.

“I’m Staff Analyst Maya Brooks of Alliance Intelligence. Someone’s trying to kill you!” the woman cried. Shepard and Joker exchanged a look.

“Uh, yeah. I think she’s aware,” Joker said dryly.

“No! I don’t mean the Reapers and Cerberus. Other people,” Brooks said. “They’re hacking your accounts, your communications, and it looks like they’re targeting you personally!”

“What information do you have?” Shepard asked. She straightened up, suddenly all business.

“Well--” Brooks began.

Bullets rained down from the front of the restaurant. Brooks let out a blood-curdling shriek. Shepard swore softly and dragged Joker down, lifting up their table as a makeshift barricade. A group of heavily armed individuals marched in, their faces masked.

“Tonight’s performance was brought to you by random acts of violence!” one of them shouted.

“Where’s Commander Shepard?” another yelled. “Find her!” They spread out through the restaurant, sending the civilians running.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. “Two hours. I’ve been on shore leave for two hours. They couldn’t let me have an appetizer first?”

One of the mercs hauled away Brooks, kicking and screaming. Shepard grabbed the knife she had tucked away in her coat.

“Why do you have that?? We were going for dinner!” Joker hissed.

“Would you rather I didn’t have it right now? I have a few others, do you want one?” she asked, taking stock of the room.

“No???”

“Joker, I need you to stay calm,” Shepard whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to take these guys out. When the coast is clear, go find the rest of the team. But I need you to stay here until it’s safe, understood?”

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” he said fervently. One of the mercenaries approached to look behind the table. Shepard caught his arm and sent him sprawling to the ground, following it up with a devastating jab from her omni-tool directly to the face. She grabbed his gun and held it at the ready. She glanced around her cover and saw two more mercs coming at her. One went down with a shot to the face, the other with a thrown knife to the throat.

“Joker, now!” she hissed. Joker got up and stumbled away as best he could. Once he was out, Shepard activated her tactical cloak and booked it across the room. If there was one thing she’d learned these long years, it was that the best fight was the one you avoided. Once she’d made it to Brooks, she tried to help her to her feet. A sniper appeared from above and fired a shot, hitting Brooks. Shepard backed away and each shot landed by her, sinking into the ground.

If only the restaurant hadn’t decided to use fish tanks as their floor.

Shepard went down, glass shattering around her. She seemed to hit every bone on the way down the side of the building, banging into the wall over and over again. She slammed into the ground hard, all of her freshly-healed wounds screaming obscenities at her.

“Commander!” Brooks called over the comms. “Are you alright?”

“Peachy,” Shepard groaned. “Can you find me a way out of here?” Dr. Chakwas was going to have a fit. She’d been off the ship two hours and she was already broken again. Ugh. At least the clothes seemed to be in one piece. Small mercies, Shepard supposed, as she struggled to her feet.

“Uh, yes! Keep going forward, I think!” Brooks said. Shepard grit her teeth.

“Thanks,” she managed. She slid down the ladder up ahead of her and took a look around. Somewhere in the wards, she figured.

“There’s a sky-car lot up ahead of me, Brooks. Could you find me a path there?” Shepard asked.

“Ah, yes! Of course!” Brooks replied nervously. Shepard tried very hard not to roll her eyes as she wove her way through the wards. She came up on some kind of market, and she caught sight of another group of mercs barrelling towards her.

“There she is!” one of them called. Shit. This outfit really wasn’t built for stealth, huh? God, she’d kill for a rifle right about now. Instead, she slipped back into her tactical cloak and hid behind a fruit stand. What a weird fucking day.

“Shepard! Are you alright?” It was a relief to hear Garrus’ voice, even if it was only through her earpiece. Tension she didn’t realize she’d been carrying dissipated, ever so slightly.

“I’m fine, but I could use a hand,” she said ruefully, aiming an incendiary blast directly to the face of one of her attackers.

“Joker sent me your location, I’m on my way,” he said immediately.

“This is a secure channel!” Brooks cut in. “You’re putting Commander Shepard at risk!”

“I’m what? Who is this?” Garrus demanded.

“Brooks, Garrus. Garrus, this is Brooks,” Shepard said. “Now please hush, it's a little hard to kill mercenaries with people arguing in my ear.”

“Shepard, I am sending backup to your location,” EDI said.

“Sounds good, things are getting a little dicey here,” Shepard replied. She glanced over the fruit stall and had to duck quickly as a drone came barrelling towards her. It exploded directly next to her, sending pieces of watermelon and blueberries flying.

“I will attempt to register surprise,” EDI said dryly. Shepard grinned crookedly at that. She dashed forward as another round of mercs came at her. She spent the next several minutes fading in and out of invisibility, running hell for leather past the mercs. Her legs, miraculously, stayed upright. Small mercies. She pulled into the car lot and slammed the door shut behind her. A shot zipped past her, missing by inches. … “Having a bad day, Shepard?” Garrus called. He took out the merc that had shot at her, and scanned the area for any more threats. It looked like they were clear for the moment. Now to find a way out of the lot.

“You could say that,” she said, pushing flyaway hairs away from her face. “Let’s look for a control panel.” His eyes finally came to rest on her and his breath stuttered in his throat. She was wearing that thing humans called a ‘suit,’ but not like any he’d ever seen before. His mouth was suddenly too dry.

“Nice outfit,” he managed. The look she gave him was unimpressed, but he wasn’t thinking with his brain at the moment. “Ah, control panel. Right.”

Shepard strode through the lot and glanced into the darkened office. She gently tapped on the glass. Garrus hurried after her.

“Could you open the doors up?” she said politely. The doors opened a second later. “Much appreciated.”

“Please leave,” the volus inside pleaded.

Garrus motioned for Shepard to stay behind him. Only one of them was armoured, after all. She raised an eyebrow and took point.

“So...you fell through a fish tank?” he ventured.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she replied.

“Damn shame,” he said, and now he was just doing it for the reaction. Midnight blue fabric. Not thinking with his brain. “I hear it was the best on the Citadel.”

“We’ll talk about it later,” she said more firmly, but there was a twinkle in her eyes. He gave her arm a quick squeeze, and then they both stepped onto the landing zone. That Brooks person had apparently radioed to say that a C-Sec shuttle was on the way. When it appeared though, the door opened to reveal a group of the same mercs that had been attacking Shepard. Garrus ducked down and dragged her with him. Bullets skittered across the ground around them.

“Any chance I could borrow that Widow of yours?” she asked breathlessly. He looked at her incredulously.

“I must not have heard you right,” he said. “You definitely did not just ask to borrow my favourite gun.” She opened her mouth to reply, and then her eyes widened.

“Do you hear that?” she asked.

“Hear what?”

“Krogan coming through!” Wrex bellowed, soaring through the air. He slammed down onto the front of the shuttle, sending half of the mercenaries flying. He mowed his way through the other half, shooting, punching, and in one case, launching them off the shuttle. Shepard was grinning wildly.

“Wrex! What are you doing here?” she asked, running forward.

“Negotiating krogan expansion with the Council,” he explained. “But that AI of yours said there’d be a fight. So here I am.”

“Glad you could make it to the party," Garrus lied through his teeth.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Wrex said. He clapped Garrus on the shoulder harder than necessary. “Figured Shepard would need some help, if you’re the only backup she has.”

“Try to keep up, old man,” Garrus shot back.

“It may have escaped your notice, but we are being shot at right now, boys,” Shepard said dryly. Ah, right. Fair point. ... Once they were clear, they gathered in Shepard’s new apartment. Brooks was pacing back and forth, and Shepard put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.

“Me? I got shot! Like, with an actual bullet. I took a desk job so I wouldn’t get shot! They said the medi-gel might make me jumpy, do I seem jumpy to you?” Brooks said.

“Hey, hey,” Shepard said soothingly, the voice she usually reserved for grieving families. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”

“We need to stop those guys, they might hurt more innocent people! Like me! I got shot!”

“Yes. Do we have any leads?” Shepard asked. The door to the apartment opened gently and Liara stepped through.

“I may have some suggestions on that,” she said. “Are you alright, Shepard?”

“I think my ribs are bruised again, but what else is new?” Shepard said ruefully. “That C-Sec shuttle should have had officers in it. I’ll get in touch with Commander Bailey, see what happened,” Shepard said, punching in the number in her omni-tool.

“Wait!” Brooks said. Everyone turned to look at her. “Uh, wouldn’t anyone you contact also become a target?”

“She’s got a point,” Garrus said.

Shepard nodded brusquely. “You're right. We keep this between us for now.”

“Fortunately, I’ve brought a few people who can help,” Liara said cheerfully. The door was knocked on its hinges as every member of her crew -- and a few people who weren’t -- filed in. The apartment was large, but even so Shepard was going to need to figure out where to put all of these people. What, was there an event going on at the Citadel right now that had brought them all there? Well, besides her attempted assassination.

“The riff-raff have arrived. Garrus, hide the silverware.” Shepard’s voice was pitched to carry.

“Up yours, Shepard,” Jack shot back.

“What she said,” Zaeed added.

"I'll go see what I can find. Come find me when you have a moment," Liara said.

Shepard wandered around to speak with everyone, but it all just seemed to be variations on the theme of “haha Shepard ruined the sushi restaurant” or “Shepard, how could you destroy that sushi restaurant”? Evidently they’d collectively decided to forget that she hadn't exactly chosen to be shot at. What compassionate friends she had, she thought wryly. She gave up after a while and went to talk to Liara.

“What's the word?” she asked. The others slowly gathered around. There was barely enough room for them all to stand together.

“That pistol you found, it’s not available anywhere on the market. I’ve tracked it to a weapons dealer named Elijah Khan. He owns a casino nearby. They’re holding a charity event tonight,” Liara explained.

“So we sneak in and talk to this Khan guy?” Ash asked.

“My sources tell me he’s locked himself in his panic room. We would need someone to sneak inside this vent system.” Liara pulled up a map of the casino interior. “And deactivate the lock.”

“I say we blow the place to high heaven,” Zaeed suggested.

“I’m in,” Wrex said immediately.

“I’m open to other suggestions,” Shepard said. “Any other suggestions.” Zaeed politely flipped her off.

“Bringing a large group would arouse suspicion,” Thane said thoughtfully. “A covert infiltration would be best.” Shepard nodded.

“Alright, just a small crew then. I’ll need someone to take point with me, and then someone else will crawl through that vent,” Shepard said. “Any takers for the vent?” She looked around the room for volunteers. They were not forthcoming.

“Mechs are not allowed in case they are used for cheating. Legion and I will not be able to enter,” EDI explained. Shepard’s eyes swung to Tali and she raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me!” Tali protested. “They’d uh...pick up my suit!” Shepard shrugged.

“What you need is somebody trained in zero-emissions tech. No electronics, no metal. Just undetectable polymers. We had a course back at Op-Int, disabling a bomb with these little tweezers. See, the bomb was filled with shaving cream…” Brooks trailed off as she realized everyone was looking at her. Shepard smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright Brooks, you’re our alternate,” she said.

“What? Me? I couldn’t...what do you mean alternate?” Brooks asked. Shepard smiled ruefully.

“I wouldn’t want to put you in more danger. You’ve already been shot once. And since I’ve had two gun mods go missing since I got back, I have a sneaking suspicion that there’s someone here who can lend a helping hand. Kasumi?”

The galaxy’s best thief materialized, sitting on the kitchen counter. She had a cheeky grin under her hood.

“You’re getting very good at that,” she said cheerfully.

“Sure would’ve been awkward if I’d been wrong,” Shepard replied wryly.

“Damn, I should’ve stayed hidden!”

“What do you say to a heist with me?” Shepard asked. Kasumi hopped down from the counter and sketched a bow.

“I’d be delighted,” she said.

“There’s just one problem,” Liara cut in.

“Current estimate: 57 problems and counting,” Mordin replied. “Additional 34 if you decide to take the krogan.” Shepard couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.

“Well, one of the problems is that it’s black-tie only,” Liara said. Shepard raised an eyebrow and glanced down at her outfit. It was still damp from crashing through a fish tank, but otherwise undamaged.

“Will this do?” she asked, motioning to the suit.

“It’ll more than do,” Garrus said huskily, and then coughed awkwardly when several sets of eyes turned to look at him. “What? I’m just answering the question.”

“Who’s going with us then?” Kasumi asked, and Shepard grinned.

Bright lights flashed in Shepard’s eyes as she and Garrus walked down the literal red carpet, arm-in-arm. Maybe one day they’d get to go somewhere nice without worrying about a nefarious plot. For now, she was on vacation and she was going to enjoy herself, attempts on her life be damned.

“You clean up well,” Shepard commented. He had on another of those intricate turian outfits, with more buckles than fabric, in a combination of black and white. He wore it well. They were, she imagined, quite a striking couple. For one, they were a good head taller than anyone else. For two, well...

“Yeah? Then it’s a damn shame that all eyes are on you,” Garrus replied.

“I did the best I could without a carapace or a crest,” she said wryly.

“Well your best has my mandible on the floor. Damn!” he said easily.

“You two are adorable,” Kasumi said from somewhere to Shepard’s left. Shepard flushed a brilliant red, and she heard Kasumi laugh brightly.

Shepard and Garrus mingled with the wealthy clientele, occasionally providing support for Kasumi as she travelled through the vents. Shepard realized, suddenly, that this was the bright and shining culture she’d seen from afar when she was younger. This was what she’d wanted to experience. As far as she was concerned, they could keep it.

Distracting the guards to disable the alarms wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, but they managed it. But when they arrived in the panic room, Khan was already dead. Shit.

“It’s never that easy, huh?” Garrus asked.

“He received a call a few minutes before he died. Give them a ring and I’ll see if I can trace it,” Kasumi said. The large screen behind the desk flickered to light and a figure appeared on the screen. Their face was concealed by static, and their voice was altered.

“Elijah? Come crawling back?” they asked.

“Guess again,” Shepard said. Kasumi's hands flashed across her omni-tool.

“You. I see you’ve recovered from flopping on the floor like a fish.”

“You’ll have to do better than that. The last guy that trash-talked me was a few kilometres taller than you.” Shepard leaned back, crossing her arms.

“Brave. I thought as much, but it won’t matter. You have nothing. All you can do is wait for the hammer to fall. I’m going to take everything you have, and everything you are.” The call ended.

“Gotcha,” Kasumi said brightly.

“Shepard, someone’s wiped the drive. Bit of a messy job though, there might be something left,” Garrus said.

“Between EDI, Legion, and Tali, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something. Let’s go.”

They were once more gathered around the pool table, now with even less room than before. They were discussing the information they’d been able to find on Khan’s drive, mostly information about the guns that Shepard’s attackers had bought. Glyph flew over and hovered above the table, flashing red.

“Commander, I have found your Spectre code being used at the Citadel Archives,” he said.

“What would they want there?” Shepard asked.

“Shall we go find out?” Liara said.

“But who? We can’t bring everyone,” Brooks piped up. Shepard grinned.

“Why not?” she asked. “All hands on deck for this one.”

“Very well, but who will take point with you?” Liara asked. Wrex coughed pointedly. And then Javik coughed even more pointedly. Tali coughed politely, but also pointedly.

“Garrus and Jack, you’re with me. Everyone else, divide up into three teams of whoever is least likely to want to kill each other.”

“What happens if I want to kill bird-brain?” Jack asked.

“Think happy thoughts,” Shepard suggested.

“Those are my happy thoughts,” Jack replied snarkily. Ah. Some things never changed.

They’d barely made it into the archives when they walked into a trap. The others were up on the catwalks above, and every door in the room slammed shut. A figure appeared behind Brooks and pressed a gun to her temple. They were shadowed, and even Shepard’s excellent vision couldn’t quite make them out.

“Don’t move, or she dies,” they said.

“Who are you?” Shepard demanded. The figure chuckled darkly.

Why do I know that voice? Shepard wondered. The figure tossed Brooks aside, and strode forward into the light. She wore the same uniform as the mercs, but her face…Shepard stared back at her own Roman nose and burning red hair. Only not quite. This nose had never been broken, and there wasn’t the familiar patchwork quilt of scar tissue across her face and neck.

“I’m you, but better,” the other Shepard said. “Without all the doubts and the wear and tear.”

“Huh. This officially takes the cake for the weirdest thing that’s happened to me,” Shepard said. “Let me rephrase: what the fuck is going on?”

“Cerberus spared no expense when it came to bringing you back. Me, they made for spare parts, in case you needed an arm, or a lung, or a kidney. When they had you, they discarded me,” her clone snapped. Shepard’s brows knit together.

“Well if you’re me, then we should be working together,” she said. The clone scoffed.

“Why would I bother helping you? Why should I care? You took everything from me, and now I’m going to take everything from you. But there was no way I’d fool your friends, so I needed to get rid of them as well. All the people that turned their backs of their responsibilities to join the cult of Shepard,” the clone spat. The cult of Shepard…?

“No one will ever believe you’re me,” Shepard said, trying a different tactic.

“Sure they will, when I’m flying your ship,” the clone replied. Shepard froze and then immediately started keying into her omni-tool.

“Traynor, I need you to lock down the ship, understood? Here are the command codes,” she said quickly. Her clone smirked and waved a hand in front of her.

“Good idea, if only that message had been sent,” she said. She keyed up her own omni-tool and raised her voice slightly. “Traynor, this is Shepard. Prepare for departure. Here are the command codes.”

Shepard’s hands balled up into fists. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before someone steals my ship.”

The clone shrugged nonchalantly. “We’ll see about that.” She turned to leave.

“Tell me,” Shepard called after her. “Do you know your own name?”

“It’s Joan,” the clone replied smugly. Shepard grinned, baring her teeth.

“Guess again,” she said, and she activated her tactical cloak.

They fought their way through the archives, the other teams racing on the catwalks above. Liara’s information drone, Glyph, scouted ahead. Occasionally he returned, saying that he mistook the clone for Shepard. Shepard tried very hard not to roll her eyes, and she mostly succeeded.

“The other Shepard’s still alive!” one of the mercs yelled.

“The next person who says that is a dead man!” the clone snapped over the comms.

“An accurate observation,” Legion said.

“What do I do??” Brooks cried. “They’re firing at me!”

“Just follow Shepard's lead and let us do all the heavy lifting!” Liara called.

“Touché, T'Soni!” Garrus shot back.

“Think you comedians could actually hit something?” Shepard shouted, ducking to avoid oncoming enemy fire.

They forged on through the archives, passing by clips of history. One by one, the teams stopped responding. Shepard pushed on faster, concern creeping up on her. And so she rushed headlong directly into a trap that she should’ve seen coming. Shepard set foot onto a platform and a forcefield appeared around her, Jack, and Garrus

The clone stepped forward, smiling smugly. Shepard tried to shoot her, but the force-field stopped the bullets dead. Shit. Shepard felt light-headed. She was locked in a small space. A very small space. Oh god, such a small space. Her heart hammered in her chest and she fought to control her breathing. She reached for her familiar, cold veneer. Like hell she was going to show weakness in front of the enemy.

“Well well, the great Commander Shepard. But not for very much longer.”

“Where are my friends?” Shepard spat.

“Locked up in iridium vaults forever. And it’s all your fault,” her clone taunted.

“The Alliance will stop you--” Shepard began.

“Will they?” Her clone cut her off. “What do you think, Staff Analyst Brooks?” Brooks sauntered forward from the shadows.

“I wouldn’t know.” Her voice had shifted, becoming deeper, more assured. “I don’t actually work for them.”

“You bitch,” Jack spat.

“I’m with Jack on this one,” Garrus said. Shepard arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms. When she spoke, her voice wasn’t her own.

“This feels like the time when the villain explains their grand plan,” she said. “So what the hell?”

“Really we just wanted your Spectre codes,” Brooks explained. “But then you had to insist on surviving. So, I had to improvise.”

“Then I must say, I'm impressed,” Shepard said.

“Oh?”

“Your optimism is impressive,” Shepard clarified. “You threw, what, fifty mercs at me and you thought that would finish me off? For such a smart woman, that's remarkably short-sighted of you.”

“I think I've made up for it now. Let's see you get out of a locked box.”

“What, this? No, I've been in far worse situations than this. Last week I was trapped at the bottom of an ocean in a mech. This is nothing.”

“You seem remarkably calm for a dead woman,” Shepard’s clone said. Shepard’s eyes flicked to her and she sneered.

“I could say the same of you. You can change the records, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing. You know the name on my file, but you don’t know the first thing about me. How are you going to convince Anderson or Hackett or--”

“Or General Shepard?” Brooks cut her off. “We’ll deal with her.”

Shepard stilled. Her erratic heartbeat settled. Her words, when they came, were soft. “If you threaten her again, I will make you wish that I’d only killed you.”

“That's quite a threat. I might even be afraid, if Commander Shepard had said it. But you're nobody,” Brooks said.

“And you're on borrowed time,” Shepard replied. Brooks' expression faltered, just a tiny bit, at whatever she saw in Shepard’s eyes. Shepard’s clone scoffed loudly, breaking through the tense silence.

“You know the one thing about us that they can’t replace? Our handprint. It changes based on life experiences,” the clone said. Shepard thought of the scars that used to twist across her palms. “But now I’m going to replace yours.” The clone pulled up a terminal and pressed her hand down.

“Hello, Commander Shepard,” the computer said. The clone grinned smugly.

“Goodbye,” Brooks murmured. “I guess this is where legends go to die.” She and the clone waltzed away, seemingly without a care in the world. The platform jerked beneath Shepard and walls slowly closed around her.

“I’m going to strangle them,” Shepard vowed.

“I’m all for that, but we’re still trapped in this fucking box,” Jack pointed out.

“With limited air,” Garrus added. Shepard hummed noncommittally.

“Hey Glyph, you still out there?” she called.

“Yes Commander.”

“Get us out of this thing, and then go find the others. Nobody steals my ship, not even me.”

Joker pulled up in a sky car just as the last stragglers pulled themselves up onto the roof.

“I’ve got room for Shepard and two more, and you better decide fast because those assholes are stealing my baby,” he snapped.

“I could drive--” Shepard said.

“NO!” The sound of the entire crew shouting the word echoed across the rooftop.

“Fine,” Shepard muttered. “Garrus and EDI, with me.”

“I wanted to go,” Wrex grumbled.

“You should have thought of that before you insulted my driving,” Shepard said. “Joker will be back for you soon.”

Joker hit the pedal to the floor as soon as everyone was in the car. A moment later, there was a whirring sound from the back seat.

“They’re trying to take control of the ship--” EDI said. Her eyes spun around, and sparks flew off of her. She shut down.

“Crap,” Garrus said. EDI powered back up, her eyes still askew.

“Are you...okay?” Joker ventured.

“I am functional, but I have no control of the Normandy. I feel...lost,” EDI said brokenly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll have you back in no time. You have my word,” Shepard said.

“Thank you.”

They arrived on the Normandy just as it was starting to pull away. Traynor was in the entryway, sputtering various unflattering things about Shepard. She caught sight of Shepard and she held her toothbrush threateningly in front of her.

“What’s going on?” she demanded. “You were...you were back there! I was minding my own business, and then you marched in and fired me! I barely had time to grab my toothbrush!”

Shepard held up her hands. “That’s a Cision Pro Mark IV. It uses tiny mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums. I know that because you told me, because I’m the real Shepard. The one you saw earlier was a clone.”

“I--”

“I wish I had time to explain, but we need to get on the ship. No one knows it better than you do, Traynor,” Shepard said quickly. Traynor thought for a second. Apparently she decided to go along with it, because she leaned down to examine the ground.

“There should be a ventilation shaft around...here.” She pulled up a piece of the floor. EDI shook her head.

“You would need something that could precisely manipulate mass effect fields,” she explained. Shepard met Traynor’s eyes, and Traynor determinedly turned on her toothbrush.

Crawling through a shaft wasn’t exactly ideal for Shepard’s over six-foot frame, but she just about managed it.

“If you’d told me this morning that a toothbrush was going to save the Normandy, I’d have been very skeptical,” she whispered. “Remind me to reimburse Traynor, I think it broke.”

“Shepard, you--” EDI began.

“Later. Remind me later.”

They opened the grate into the CIC with guns blazing. The mercenaries were no match for them. EDI looked like she was running on sheer, unadulterated rage. She grabbed hold of a dying mercenary. Her voice was like ice. “Where are they?”

“Cargo bay,” the merc managed.

“Thank you for your assistance,” EDI said, and shot him in the face. Shepard met Garrus’ eyes and shrugged helplessly. They made their way to the elevator, and Shepard’s heart dropped to the floor. Mako’s cage, along with her carefully assembled collection of model ships, was resting in a garbage bin. There was a note on top with handwriting that was almost (but not quite) the same as Shepard’s.

“Please get rid of this, a ship is no place for…oh that is so not okay. They messed with my hamster guys. Now it’s personal,” Shepard hissed.

“Was it not personal before?” Garrus asked.

“I-- well, yeah. But Mako’s defenceless. What was a little hamster going to do to them--”

“I suggest we keep moving,” EDI cut in.

“Right, right. Of course.” Shepard hit the button on the elevator.

#shakarian #mass effect #me2 #me3 #commander shepard #garrus vakarian #oc: joan shepard #50/50 odds i delete this in an hour but who knows #did i write a 100k+ word story so that i could write the citadel dlc? mayhaps

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meticulouswriting · 5 years ago

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Helpless

Pairing: Jaina Shepard x Garrus Vakarian Fic Summary: Garrus has rarely ever felt helpless. But Shepard has a way of turning the galaxy upside down. Rating: SFW Warnings: None

AO3

There have been very few times in his life that Garrus Vakarian had ever felt helpless.

The first time red tape had blocked him from stopping a man he knew was guilty; he’d felt it then. Like all his training and skill and effort meant nothing at all. The man had been caught eventually, but not before claiming one more victim. A victim that might’ve gone on living for decades more if Garrus had been allowed to act. He’d hated that feeling, hated knowing that he could’ve helped people if there hadn’t been so many damned rules getting in his way. Remembering that moment, and the others like it that followed in his years at C-Sec, had made going with Shepard an easy decision to make. It felt like freedom, being able to act as the situation called for, without waiting for half a dozen superiors to approve every move he made. Even when they were done hunting Saren, when he left the Normandy and tried going back to work on the Citadel, he’d felt lighter.

He’d felt helpless, again, when he found out that the Normandy had been shot down. That Shepard had been shot down. Even though he knew that his presence probably wouldn’t have been enough to save her, he still felt like he should’ve been there, should’ve been able to do something.

Should’ve been able to tell her how much she’d meant to him, at the very least.

Then he was on Omega, and he was finally getting back a sense of control, leading his men and actually making a dent in the crime that seemed to be everywhere. Until Sidonis’s betrayal, where he was helpless again, unable to see through the ruse or act fast enough to save his men. He couldn’t even hunt down the traitor and avenge them. In a way, it felt right that he should go down fighting, not far from where his men had done the same. At least then he was doing something, and maybe he’d take enough of the mercs down with him to cripple the organizations for a long while after he was gone.

But he didn’t die on Omega. He was saved by a ghost with an assault rifle, the one person he’d never expected to see until he ended up in whatever heaven was waiting for human Spectres and Turian vigilantes. Shepard came with a mission, and just like that he had purpose again. A way to actually do something that mattered, just like the good old days on the SR-1.

Well, not just like them. This time, he was the one who came to Shepard’s cabin in the night, interspecies awkwardness forgotten while they “blew off steam” in the best possible way. This time, he realized that she was more than his best friend, more than a soldier he looked up to. This time, Shepard was his, and he was hers.

Knowing that made leaving the Normandy easier. Garrus was frustrated when the Alliance seized the ship, furious that they couldn’t see that she’d had no other choice but to blow the Alpha relay, but this time he didn’t feel helpless. The Turian Hierarchy was finally ready to listen to the warnings he and Shepard had been giving for three years, and, token task force or not, he felt like he was actually doing something. He missed her, desperately, but he knew that if anyone could find a way out of the situation and back into the fight, it was Shepard.

But then came the invasion on Palaven. And on Manae, Garrus watched Palaven burn. He realized then that, skilled as he was, there wasn’t a single thing within his power to do that could even put a scratch on the enemies they faced. Even seeing Shepard again--and Spirits, was it good to see that woman--didn’t help the crushing weight of the lives that were lost every day on his home while they were forced to make nice with politicians.

Fighting the Reapers helped. Working with Shepard, with Tali, Ashley, and Liara, it felt a little bit like it used to, like it was them against the galaxy, but this time they had the resources and support to make a real difference. The Crucible was coming together, and after months of running errands, making threats, and gritting her teeth through negotiations, Shepard somehow managed to get every race in the galaxy to fight at their backs. Garrus didn’t know if they’d survive the final assault, but at this point he thought only an idiot would bet against Shepard.

Of course, things started to go wrong as soon as they landed on Earth. Shepard’s team fought their way through wave after wave of husks and Reapers, only to be nearly crushed by one of their own tanks, sent flying by a Reaper beam.

He tried not to see the irony in the fact that, after so many times fearing for his life in a Mako with Shepard at the wheel, it was one she wasn’t even driving that finally managed to put him out of commission.

And now Garrus was helpless again, limping onto the Normandy while Shepard went on to the beam. He didn’t miss the fact that she hadn’t promised to come back. More than ever before, he felt useless, sitting in the med bay while the only woman he’d ever loved was facing off with whatever last defense the Reapers were throwing at her.

Garrus heard the shouts of triumph over comms when she managed to open the arms of the Citadel, then of confusion and despair when, for a few long minutes, nothing happened. He limped his way to the CIC, where Traynor was doing everything she could to get some information on what was actually happening. He waited for what seemed like hours, waited for orders, for answers.

Then a blast of energy fired from the Crucible, and in the chaos that came in reaction, Garrus had a few glimpses of the vids from the assembled fleets.

Vids of Sovereign-class Reapers, powering down mid-attack. Vids of Reaper forces on the ground collapsing without taking a hit.

Vids of the Citadel, large chunks breaking off and falling out of orbit to the planet below.

Even in the middle of the celebrations starting to break out, he couldn’t help but imagine Shepard on every one of those falling sections of debris, drifting through space again, but this time with no Cerberus to find and revive her.

The thoughts were harder to banish the longer they went without hearing anything, and soon people started to murmur, things about a heroic sacrifice and a noble death. And Garrus was totally, completely helpless.

Somehow he had found his way to the mess, gazing blankly into the cup of something hot someone had set in front of him. As if from a distance, he heard Liara confer with Ashley and Joker about “making arrangements.” About the memorial wall that seemed to laugh at him from its place in front of the elevator.

They put up Anderson’s name first. Ashley, as the highest-ranking Alliance member on board, putting it carefully into place in the center, under the Alliance crest. She said something about Anderson’s commitment to humanity, his tenacity fighting the Reapers, his pride in the Normandy and her crew.

Truthfully Garrus didn’t really hear any of it. He was too busy staring at the nameplate Liara had pressed into his hands. Commander Shepard. It seemed too small to represent everything she was. Everything she used to be. Not just to him, but to the galaxy that now owed her everything. And if he did nothing else with what was left of his life, he was going to make damn sure they remembered that.

He realized that Ashley had stopped speaking, and that everyone was staring at him expectantly, with mixtures of sadness and pity on all of their faces.

He took a step forward, wiped an invisible speck of dust off of the plaque he clutched like a lifeline. No words came out when he tried to speak. But then again, he didn’t know that there were words for this, in any language.

The ship’s comm chimed to life, EDI’s voice coming over the system. “I apologize for the interruption,” she said, “but there’s something you all need to hear.”

Garrus was opening his mouth to demand why she thought now was an appropriate time to give a status report, when he heard it: ragged breathing, distorted by interference. And a voice. One that he’d recognize anywhere, from a hundred firefights and dozens of nights spent together. “This… is Commander Shepard. Broadcasting on all channels…” her voice was weak, interrupted by hacking coughs, but it was hers and it was there. “Time… unknown. Location… unknown. Somewhere…” she drew in a long, shaky breath, “somewhere on the Citadel. Condition… not great. But alive. Repeat, I am alive.”

She repeated the same message several times, EDI leaving the comm line open as the crew went into a frenzy of activity. In just a few minutes, Ashley, Tali, and Liara were all on comms with their people, trying to pinpoint the signal, to set up a rescue team as soon as possible. One of Liara’s Shadowbroker agents got ahold of Miranda, transporting her to the best hospital facility available to wait on standby. The Quarian fleet was ready to bring in any supplies she needed to restore Shepard once again, and an Alliance emergency team was dispatched to the source of Shepard’s signal. A squadron of Turian fighters volunteered as escorts for the medical transport that would be rescuing her.

And Garrus, once again, was left helpless, not able to do a thing to speed up or assist with the rescue. The ship was too far away to make it to the Citadel quickly, their shuttles not equipped with what was needed to get her out and keep her alive. All they could do was monitor the rescuers over comm, listen to Shepard still gasping out her message, and make their way to the hospital as quickly as possible to await her arrival.

He sat with the rest of Shepard’s people in the waiting room, perched on one of the molded plastic chairs that were clearly not designed for anxious Turians. He waited as they brought her in, as Miranda and a team of surgeons did their job. They wouldn’t let him--or any non-medical personnel, for that matter--in the room, so he was forced to rely on reports that one of the doctors gave every few hours.

Extensive physical trauma, they said. Her Cerberus implants had staved off the beginnings of infection, but even the Illusive Man’s tech and Miranda’s expertise could only do so much. Broken bones, internal bleeding, lacerations from falling debris. Even with his admittedly limited knowledge of human anatomy and medicine, Garrus knew that none of what they said was good.

But this was Shepard, and so as awful as the waiting was, he believed that she would make it through this, too.

He had to believe it.

After seventeen long hours--seventeen hours of waiting, of sleeplessness, of ignoring the dextro rations someone had found for him--Miranda herself finally entered the room, still in medical scrubs. Garrus straightened in the seat, nudging Tali, who at some point had fallen asleep leaning on his arm, and waited for Miranda to speak.

The woman was more exhausted and less put-together than he’d ever seen her, with her hair in an untidy bun and dark circles under her eyes marring her flawless complexion. But she was smiling. “She’s going to make it,” she said. “It wasn’t easy, and she’ll need time to recover, but she’s awake, and she’s coherent. A few of you can go see her now, but…”

Garrus didn’t hear the rest of what she said, already halfway out of his chair by the time she spoke. He stormed through the doors to the hallway, exhaustion forgotten as he made his way to Shepard’s hospital room. One of the guards at the door almost tried to stop him, but the other--one of the women who had been stationed at the Normandy’s war room--waved him through and whispered something to her companion.

He stopped in the doorway, taking a moment to look at Shepard before she noticed him watching. She looked… tiny, in the sterile hospital bed. She was propped up by pillows, her red hair fanning out beneath her head. Nearly every bit of skin he could see was covered in either bruises or bandages, and even under her thin blanket he could make out a bulky cast on one leg.

But she was there, in one piece, and, most importantly, alive.

She turned her head at the sigh of relief he gave, smiling weakly when she saw him. The right side of her face was nearly covered by ugly scrapes and deep purple bruising, and there was a line of stitches curving from the edge of her brow to just past her cheekbone. But her eyes were as bright as ever, even with one surrounded by battered flesh. He took a few steps closer, almost afraid that a sudden movement would make her disappear.

“You look like shit, Vakarian,” she said, her voice hoarse.

He laughed at that, crossing the rest of the distance to stand at her side. And if the laugh sounded a little bit like a sob, she didn’t mention it.

“Look who’s talking, Shepard,” Garrus replied, and gently took her unbandaged hand in one of his.

“You should see the other guy.” And she was still bloodied and bruised, but the crooked, cocky way she grinned up at him was undeniably Shepard, and he practically collapsed into the chair beside her bed. She pointed at the injured side of her face. “Look,” she said, “we match.” And he laughed again, not caring that this time it was undeniably watery.

She squeezed his hand as tightly as she could--and he tried not to think about how much stronger that squeeze should’be been--and listened as he told her about what had happened after they’d parted, that the crew were all alive, all waiting to see her, that the ship was in one piece and the Reapers were disabled. She didn’t say much, seemed too exhausted to do more than smile and squeeze his hand periodically, but she was awake and clear-headed enough to listen. He rambled on about everything he could think of, and sometime between telling her that Vega had cried when they’d heard her message, though he denied it, and describing how loud Tali snored, even through her mask, she drifted off to sleep.

He panicked for a moment when her grip on his hand relaxed, but a nurse who was monitoring her life signs assured him that there was nothing wrong, and that the sleep would do her good. Garrus refused to leave her side, even when one of her doctors tried to usher him out. But apparently someone important enough to give orders backed him up, because after a little while a Turian-style cot was brought in and set up less than a foot away from Shepard’s bed.

He stayed there, at her side, for as long as she was there, only leaving for quick showers or when his family managed to get a comm through. Even then, he made sure someone he trusted was with her, and he was never gone for more than half an hour. When the hospital staff brought in meals for her, they also brought a tray of dextro food for him. Their friends visited, a few at a time, whenever they could, bringing small gifts and stories about the beginnings of the rebuilding effort.

The galaxy still seemed to still be reeling; the Mass Relays had gone dark for about seven Earth-days in the wake of the Crucible blast, then had started come back on with no warning, one by one. Some of them had taken damage, but the relay system was on its way back to being fully operational. Most civilizations seemed to be focused on cleaning out the remains of Reaper forces and securing safe places for their people; true reconstruction of what they’d lost would take a few months to get underway.

Shepard didn’t like to talk about what she’d seen and done after entering the beam to the Citadel. But after a few days, she started opening up a little when the two of them were alone. From what they could piece together, they figured what she’d seen had been some kind of security protocol programmed into the Citadel itself, a last-ditch effort by the Reapers to turn her away from her goal. The consequences she’d feared hadn’t seemed to come true, other than the Mass Relays shutting down, but even that had been temporary. Her cybernetics were still working, EDI was still running the Normandy, and the few messages they’d gotten from Rannoch showed that the geth were still functioning and helping the Quarians reclaim their home. More than anything, Garrus wished that he’d been there to help her through her encounter with whatever the child had been, instead of waiting on the Normandy and feeling helpless.

And Garrus still felt helpless, whenever the pain medication didn’t cover the worst of her aches, or when the doctors gave each other concerned looks over Shepard’s chart. But Shepard was making progress, recovering along with the rest of the galaxy.

And Garrus was by her side, every step of the way.

#shakarian #f!shakarian #garrus vakarian #shepard x garrus #femshep #female shepard #jaina shepard #mine #my writing #continuing the transfer of fics to this blog

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forlornmelody · 6 years ago

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Double the Trouble Chapter 6 -- Miss Communication

Rating: Explicit (other chapters are NSFW)

Ship: FemShep x Femshep Clone // Shenko, eventual OT3

AO3 Links: Chapter 1 // This Chapter

Summary: Shep had planned to spend another night alone. Instead she has a surprise visitor--one she had never expected to see again.Unapologetic consensual clone smut.

Note: Well, one year after the most recent chapter, I finally get around to updating this thing. Oops. This is a sequel to Spare Parts, but obviously you can read this without reading the other fic. I’ve spent the year developing the characters and their story arcs, so this smutty crack fic now has plot! Lemme know what you think.

What the hell are you doing here, Shepard? She stood in front of the door, boring holes into it with her gaze. Maybe if she stared long enough the hammering in her ears and chest would fade. So far no luck. Shepard needed to not panic. First step—control her breathing. Deep breath in; deep breath out. Her chest felt like lead. Second step—stay grounded. The door is green. There are six rows and six columns of rings in that grate. That would make—36 diamond…thingys. Yeah. We’ll call ‘em thingys. Just as her stomach slowed its churning, someone tapped her shoulder.

“You gonna say the password, bitch? Or are you going to just stand there all day?”

Shepard whipped around, grabbing him by the wrist. She didn’t waste time before bending it the wrong way. “Get your hands off me.” So much for keeping things under control.

“Hey! Let go.” He reached for his pistol.

Fat chance, big guy. Shepard took a breath, channeling her adrenaline towards her eezo nodes. Her eyes glowed, and she lashed out with just enough force to knock his pistol out of his hands. It barely moved. Shit.

___________________________________

“What would you like to talk about today, Shepard?” Her therapist leaned back in her chair, balancing a datapad on her lap.

“I need you to authorize a new biotic amplifier.”

“Mm. Are you ready for a new amplifier, Shepard?”

Narrowing her eyes, Shepard tried to keep her voice level. “I’ve been ready for months, Doctor.”

“Please, call me Susan.”

“Authorize the damn amp, Susan. We’ve talked through everything—“

“About your military service, yes. Your recent personal relationship with Major Kaidan Alenko, even. Your brief association with Thane Krios. But what about your childhood?”

“I dealt with that shit years ago. No need to bring it up.”

“Your insistence on avoiding the subject is telling, Shepard.”

_____________________________________________

Shepard stared down gun’s barrel, bracing herself as she heard the safety click. Maybe next time don’t pick a fight with only half your body working, dumbass.

“Your amp short out, freak?” The thug’s finger slid towards the trigger.

She held up her right hand. The left remained stubbornly at her side. “Must’ve left it at home.” Shepard put on her most winning smile. I’m so sorry, Kaidan.

BANG!

Shepard fell to the ground. The door slammed behind her, and Shepard caught herself with her right hand. She groaned as her wrist cranked under the full weight of her body. A twitch in her left arm.

“What the fuck is going on out here?” Jane shouted from over Shepard’s shoulder.

The thug dropped his pistol, backing off. “N-nothing Jane. I—we—”

“That’s Ms. Doe to you, asshole. Now get out of here before someone calls the cops.”

“Yes Ms—“

“I said out.”

The thug scrambled out of sight. Shepard looked up, half-expecting her to offer a hand. Of course, she had forgotten who she was dealing with. Jane glowered down at her, folding her arms. “What are you doing here?”

Grabbing onto the door, Shepard dragged herself up. “We need to talk.”

“If I wanted to talk, I would’ve returned your calls.” Jane turned around, ducking back inside, but leaving the door open.

Shepard followed, rotating her wrist. “Could we talk somewhere else? A park? A different bar? Hell, we could even go back to my therapist’s office and I wouldn’t even—”

Jane stopped, looking over her shoulder with a smirk. “This place not good enough for you?”

Shepard clenched her fist. Oh no, this place would be perfect. Discreet. Dim lighting. Loud televisions. Full of private rooms for its loyal customers. Well compensated and well armed bouncers in case shit hit the fan. Plenty of alcohol. If only Shepard could breathe in this fucking shit hole. “Too many memories,” she managed to spit out.

“That’s one thing about not having a past.” Jane stepped inside one of the private rooms. Shepard noticed with relief that it had a desk, not a bed. “No baggage.”

Despite all the alarms needlessly blaring inside her head, Shepard followed. “Jane, please. I can’t—”

Jane whirled around, her eyes dark with hate. “Do you have any idea how many people begged the Alliance to send you back to Earth during the Invasion? But you were too busy kissing alien ass to even bother.”

Shepard knew she should keep her voice down, that Jane only knew how to push her buttons. “You think it was easy for me to leave? I had to! We couldn’t fight the Reapers on our own!”

“You owed the Council nothing! They covered up your death. Conveniently forgot about Sovereign.” Shepard’s pulse pounded in her ears. “Ignored the Collectors. Allowed the Alliance to arrest you after Bahak.” Shepard’s throat closed in on itself. “And then,” Jane jabbed her finger in Shepard’s face, “they all came groveling, asking for your help when the Reapers showed up. Not once lending a hand to our system or its colonies.”

Shepard backed up into the door closed behind her. Her body shook. “Is that what Brooks told you?” Something flashed in Jane’s eyes. “Or what did she call herself at Cerberus? Rasa?”

Jane’s arm collided with Shepard’s throat, pressing her up against the door. Not enough to cut off her breathing, but just enough to hurt. “Don’t you dare talk to me about her.”

She should’ve probably held up her good hand in surrender. She should’ve backed down. Instead, Shepard stared down her clone, even as she started to see stars in her eyes. “What did she do to you?”

The clone dropped her so she could storm off to the other side of the room. “What’s it matter to you? She’s dead.”

Taking a few gulps of air, Shepard rubbed her throat. That’ll leave a bruise. “Shit. Jane...whatever...whoever Brooks was, I’m sorry you lost her.”

Jane snorted, pulling a small rubber ball from her jacket pocket, and bouncing it off the wall. “You’re a real trip, you know that?”

“What are you talking about?” Shepard must have hit her head on the way down.

Her clone spins around, her eyes flashing with rage. “You kill my...partner, and then you have the nerve to say you’re sorry??” She stretches out the O, as a reminder of just how different their origins were. Streets and a lab. A womb and a test tube. A homeworld and a space station. “Is that how you won over the tribunal? By apologizing?”

“Cute.” Shepard rubbed her face, trying to think, replaying the Clone’s words in her head until they made sense. “Hey. Look. This may be hard for you to believe, but if Brooks is dead, I had nothing to do with it.” She snorted, using her good hand to gesture at her body. “I mean, look at me. I can hardly dress and feed myself as it is, how the hell am I taking out hits on people?”

“You didn’t kill her after the war, genius.” Jane leaned against the wall, bouncing the ball harder and faster. Her fists started to glow. “Guess it was hard to notice her body with all the other mercs.”

Shepard’s face jerked up to look at her. “On the Normandy?” She blinked. Jane nodded. “She didn’t...Oh. Of course you don’t know. You didn’t see anything after you...fell.” She swallowed hard, the look of horror on the clone’s face after she dropped from the Normandy still burned in her brain. Breathe. “We arrested her. Sent her to some top-secret facility with other terrorists...I don’t even know where it is.”

Jane finally deigned to look at her, her mouth hanging open. “Brooks is alive?” The ball fell from her hand, bouncing several times before skidding to a stop. “Rasa is alive?”

Shepard took a deep breath, rubbing her bad arm. God, it was cramping so bad. Like pins and needles. “As far as I know, yeah. I mean, for all I know the Reapers took out the facility along with everything else. But I had nothing to do with it. I can swear to that.”

Stepping towards her, Jane asked softly. “Do you know where she is?”

Shit. “I...I don’t. Even if I did….I I don’t have the authority to release that information.”

Snorting, Jane nodded her head, unsurprised. “You don’t trust me. That’s...fair.”

God, she wanted to. “Two spectres and a councilor have to approve visitors. Doesn’t happen to often.

“You’re making that up.”

“Nope. Read that section of the Spectre manual the night after we...ran into each other.” Shepard swallowed, the taste of her still in her mouth.

“Repeatedly.” They both snickered. Jane kicked her foot back and forth. “What do I need to do to get that information? Money? Information?” She took Shepard in slowly, reading her, probably. “Sex?”

Shepard turned abruptly to hide her blush. “Bribery? Really?” She scratched the back of her neck. “I’m not even sure I count as a Spectre anymore.”

“Bullshit. You saved the galaxy, how many times? They’re not going to fire you over an injury.”

“I’m not exactly battle ready, Jane.” Shepard sighed. “I’ll talk to Kaidan about, okay? He’s still active. He’s on better terms with the politicians, anyway.”

Jane watched her closely, arms still folded.

“You don’t believe me.”

“Trust is hard to come by these days.”

This room really could use a few windows. Anything to keep the walls from closing in. Shepard cleared her throat. “Is...is this about the other night?”

This time, Jane blinked at her. “What?”

“...I thought you were mad.” She could feel the heat burning in her cheeks. “Me and Kaidan….Kaidan and I...we...we kind of lost track of you after.”

“After we fucked, you mean.” Jane smirked at her discomfort.

“Well, yeah.” Shepard chewed her lip. “You didn’t get any aftercare from us and---”

“I’m mad about Brooks, not being your unicorn. Because I’m. Not. Anyone’s. Unicorn.” Jane pulled the ball back into her hand biotically, passing it from hand to hand. She shook her head. “I’m mad that you never brought up Brooks.”

“...With the way things went down...I didn’t realize you--”

“--Cared? Please, Shepard. I’m not the monster you think I am.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Moving towards the desk chair, Shepard slipped and out of her pockets fell two small boxes. As she fumbled to get to the floor, Jane picked one up.

“Dental dams? Latex gloves?” Jane quirked an eyebrow as she watched Shepard turn as red as their hair. “You sure know how to charm a girl.”

“This sounded way more smooth in my head.” Shepard leaned against the back of the chair, sliding her index finger across the lid of the box. “What I’m trying to say is...I don’t want to use you. I mean...if you want to be exlusive with us, that’s fine. But if you want to see other people, that’s cool too.”

“So smooooth.” Jane traced her fingers across Shepard’s, laughing softly, only to frown when she saw the whites of her knuckles. “Shit. This place...it really fucks you over, doesn’t it?”

“LIke the underside of a thresher maw.” Shepard said quietly, starting to pull her hand back.

Jane grabbed her wrist. “Hold on.”

Looking up at her, Shepard swallowed hard.

“You uh...have plans tonight?” With Kaidan? She asked without words.

“Well...Kaidan’s out of system right now.” Chewing her lip, Shep pulled out her phone, shooting Kaidan a text.

Hey.

Got time for a vid call?

Jane leaned her chin on Shepard’s shoulder. “You flirt like this with everyone?”

Shepard glanced at her with narrowed eyes. “You want to fuck or not?”

Both of them stared down at the phone, waiting. “What if he’s on duty?”

Chewing her lip, Shepard brushed her nose with hers. “How about dinner?”

“Sushi?” Jane smirked.

“Are you going to blow up the fish tank this time?”

“Only if you ask nicely, Shepard.”

#mass effect #femshep #shepard clone #femshep clone #kaidan alenko #poly dynamics #melody writes #hey guess what #the crack is baaaaack #pfft #who am I kidding #no one cares about this crack but me

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