#50/50 odds i delete this in an hour but who knows

[just-horrible-things]

‘Verse: Resistance AU: Healer and Handler, co-author @whump-sprite

Who [ First | Prev ]

The overnight footage from Alex’s cell – and the whole block – has been deleted.

“System update fucked up the datetime on the cameras,” Peterson claims. “The rolling store got cleared early. Nothing I can do.”

It's absolute bullshit of course. Nowhere else in the facility was affected. But Peterson isn’t budging, and if the footage is somehow hidden rather than deleted outright, Ari doesn’t have the tech know how to find it.

She files an incident report for misuse of electronic resources. But unless Peterson's pulled this shit before she knows he won't get more than a slap on the wrist. Even if they don't swallow his “system update” story, he’ll say it was just a fuck-up and they’ll believe that.

She only has three suspects. She can't imagine any of those creeps putting a stooge up to it – there’s no way they’d miss out on the personal satisfaction.

So Ari spends about an hour – in between monitoring the live feeds and answering calls – trawling the recording from the closest untouched cameras, taking note of who enters and leaves the dead zone and when. Going by the blood on the floor this morning, the incident probably happened earlier in the night rather than later, but that’s not a lot to narrow it down by.

Unfortunately it turns out Frazier and Henson were both working last night. It shouldn’t be surprising, they probably talked each other into this petty little show of spite. Ari’s reminded of the time Riven spent a month stealing the ink out of one of the printers just to get under that one analyst’s skin.

She files another report, this one against Frazier. He's not supposed to have access to the healers anymore. But this isn't the first time she’s reported the same damn thing. They'll revoke his clearance, again, and in a few weeks he'll find another excuse to get someone to reinstate it. Probably Peterson again, the little rat bastard.

Probably not Peterson, she doesn't actually think he has that authority. It's just easy to be angry at his stupid smarmy face right now.

Frazier or Henson. 50-50 odds, but if she confronts the wrong one, she’ll look like an idiot. Better to be sure.

She might be able to get the answer out of Riven, he does like to run his mouth. But not today, because Frazier and Henson will still be asleep at home and they probably won’t have filled Riven in on their little ”prank” yet.

Back to Plan A, then.

She takes the time to pick up a plate of cafeteria food for Alex's afternoon meal. It'll be lukewarm by the time she gets it down to the cells, but it’s still better than his usual fare.

She hears the healer jump at the sound of the door. Sounds like he knocked a knee or elbow against the wall or floor. Hopefully not his head. He’s scrambling to get on his knees as she lets herself in.

He’d gotten less scared about that. Ariadne’s never punished him for being slow to get up, or even for skipping the formalities. But it’s no surprise he’s more hasty again with fresh stripes as a painful reminder of proper discipline.

Even though it wasn’t discipline.

“Easy,” she greets him, “it’s just your dinner.” She’s pleased to see his eyes widen with anticipation as he sees what she has for him. He’s not so miserable that he can’t be happy about a decent meal.

He reaches for his hot water first, like always. If she can convince them to change one thing about standard protocol it should be that – or turning the thermostat for the cells up. More heat getting into the healers, one way or another.

She forgot to pick up his sweater from the corner of his cell this morning. She was going to get rid of it, but Alex has struggled back into it despite the dried blood and the rents in the back and despite how much it must have pulled his back getting it on. Ariadne ought to take it off him – it’s going to start stinking soon – but she can’t quite bring herself to. Not while he’s eating.

It was only a couple of months ago she had to hold every bite to his mouth. He’d twitch at everything she said, and he could barely get a flicker of magic out without flinching and choking on fear. He’s doing so well for her. All it took was a bit of a gentler touch.

“I need to know which of them came in here and whipped you.” Terror is immediately stark in his eyes. “I won’t tell them you told me. I’ll tell them I got it out of security, okay? But I need to know. So that I can keep it from happening again.”

He doesn’t trust her. She sees it in his eyes. He doesn’t believe she has any interest in stopping them. Frustration itches, but she pushes it down. It’s a lot more to ask of him than trusting her to let him shower without raping him. He’s still doing well.

“This isn’t negotiable,” she prompts. It only takes the faintest hint of steel to make him flinch. “I’m s-s-sorry –” “I know. I’m not mad – not at you. But I need to know.”

He shrinks in on himself. Patience, Ari cautions herself. Her steady attention and expectation is enough. He’s just scared.

“N-Neil,” he whispers eventually. “I-I mean, F-Frazier, sir.” “Okay,” Ariadne agrees levelly, “Good. Well done.”

She makes herself take a deep breath and turn away from Alex so that he knows it’s not directed at him before she lets herself exhale anger.

“Jealous fucking creep. What a petty, insecure dipshit of a guy.” Alex looks shocked. But there’s something else too, something that could be appreciation or even humour just about edging out the fear. “I’d kick his teeth in if I had the chance,” Ariadne confides with a hint of a hard, conspiratorial smirk. Alex almost, almost smiles back. “I’d…” he starts, but he doesn’t finish the thought.

Ari grins at him anyway, just for a second before she turns serious again. “I will not be telling him that you told me,” she promises, “so don’t you go fessing up, okay? They don’t record audio from these cells, so it’s between you and me.”

The healer looks nervous, but he nods his head. “Okay, sir.”

She’s about to leave him when she remembers about the sweater. It's probably unsalvageable, but…

She crouches beside him and takes the hem to get a better look. As she thought, the blood’s the least of the damage. The fabric is practically shredded, not worth mending even if she was inclined to, which she isn't. Darning a healer's clothes would be ridiculous.

“I’m – sorry sir.” Alex’s voice is suddenly choked, giving away the tears in his eyes. “I – I didn’t have time t-to take it off…” “Hey. It’s okay.” “I would’ve – I d-didn’t want to ruin it but he didn’t –” “It’s not your fault. Hey, listen to me. I’ll get you a new one. It’s no big deal.” His throat bobs as he tries to swallow his tears. “Thank you, sir,” he manages. “I’ll get you a new one,” Ari repeats. “It’s okay.”

She can’t even pat his shoulder. Fucking dipshit Neil. She pats the healer's head instead. His curls are starting to grow in again. He sniffs, and wipes his nose on the back of his hand.

When she leaves, Ari’s careful to close the door softly. She changes the code on the lock again. Frazier’s clearly getting his buddies in security to sort it for him, but it’ll slow him down. It’s an obstacle in his way. And if he’s going to be fucking petty, two can play at that game.

Finding Frazier's shift pattern is a little more work than finding Henson’s. He's on nights all week, so Ariadne could catch him tonight by staying late. She doesn't much feel like rising to the bait though, not when she has nothing to use against him and it'd only be giving him the opportunity to gloat.

Before she goes home, she spends another while crawling the security feeds, trying to figure out the options that she doesn't usually have any reason to use.

If she knew how to have the cell footage make a second copy of itself or something, somewhere those assholes couldn't wipe it… but it would probably be an infosec breach if she did.

She'll find something. Frazier clearly doesn't realize what thin ice he's on after the last round of allegations. He doesn't get to mess with Ari's healer.

[blubberquark]

Community Moderation: Some Things Are Easy

In an online community like a forum, a Discord server, a wiki, an open-source project, a multi-player game with in-game chat, sooner or later you run into problems of moderation. Solutions that worked with 50 users don't work with 150 users, or 50 active users every hour.

However, if you are just starting out, you don't need to think about this too hard. You don't need to flesh out your code of conduct, because 98% of the things you want to moderate/delete/admonish are self-evidently actionable. 98% of the time, your users will unanimously back decisions to kick/ban/delete based on hunches or ad-hoc justifications.

This is because 98% of incidents in your online community are not divisive, not in grey areas, not vague. They are spam, scams, insults and harassment, illegal content, and hacking attempts. Focusing on edge cases and rules everybody can agree on is not as important as getting some moderators you can trust to remove the occasional drive-by commenter that posts about fake watches, off-brand sunglasses, or models from that well-known freelance pornography marketplace.

Sometimes there is the odd troll who is clearly just testing the waters and trying to step right to the line and say "I'm not touching you", or "I didn't call you names, this is actually a compliment in French". Even so, if it's just a small space, there is no bigger philosophical implication to just banning people who are being annoying and disruptive if they are deliberately annoying and disruptive, and don't contribute anything positive to the discussion.

98% of moderation is spam, scams, drive-by harassment, and hacking. Don't misunderstand me. I know the last 2% can take a lot more than 2% of the work. Rules about off-site harassment and doxxing can have edge cases, and dedicated trolls can try to circumvent your community's moderation. Once a community has reached a certain size, you may need to deal with an argument between two co-workers who meet in-game, and you will have to decide how this relates to your rules about doxxing and off-site behaviour.

If your community is large enough, you might have to become less lenient about scams and spam and ban more things that border on get-rich-quick schemes, excessive self-promotion, or calls to recruit a personal army for a twitter flame war. It will become harder to just talk it out with community members, and to just ban outsiders who come in and start an argument. You need to develop a policy.

Even then, the first 98% of moderation is easy. It's still just deleting spam, scams, kicking out bots and obvious trolls. It's just that, as the community grows, the remaining 2% cause more and more people to weigh in and argue about the grey areas. You can still shoot from the hip 98% if the time.

I could easily fall into a trap and list a couple of statements that should not be controversial, but are controversial. These will usually make people argue about whether the statement was controversial, or whether it was a complete "non-troversy". But obviously I won't list it, because that is exactly the kind of thing that starts a flame war between people who mostly agree with each other.

Even when it comes to fuzzier topics, such as "where does doxxing and off-site harassment start" or "when does a get-rich-quick scheme become a scam" or "where is the border between spam, excessive self-promotion, and off-topic posting", you get agreement between 98% of your users 98% of the time. The problem is just that the remaining 2% are usually really invested in their own self-promotion, or they are true believers in whatever divisive statement.

Even then, it's often more fruitful for the moderators to quickly tell everybody involved to cool off and take a walk away from the computer. Quick, decisive common-sense moderation trumps explicit rules, unless you are running twitter.

[magicalara]

So...2022 huh

It's time for Em's yearly letter to the blog where I talk about it since the new year's coming in about an hour and a half in my timezone. Prefacing this with a tw for talks of depression, anxiety, horrible friends, and no proof reading. Here is my word vomit and if you don't get to the end, happy new year everyone.

So 2022 was one of, if not the, worst year in my 19 years of living. It started off with the pressure of a class which if I didn't pass, would essentially mean I couldn't go to college, and is ending with me having to walk on eggshells around people and feeling just...so anxious and depressed. Before I get into that, however, in order to save the people I want to specifically call out from having to hear about my depressing word vomit, I'm gonna mention them first.

So I can't make a new year's post without tagging my girl @pinktea99 who has been around for what feels like ever. I think it'll actually be two years of our friendship early next year I don't remember for sure, it might be three...time is fake it doesn't matter anyways. Between the amazing fanfictions you used to make that I still go back to every now and then and now just tagging me in posts you think I'd like, Mo you've been the biggest supporter I've had since I practically started posting real shit on this hellsite and I could not be more grateful. You're on of my biggest inspirations and I love and adore you so much. Let's go into 2023 with just as much happiness as you've given me in 2022 and even more. I love you so much, my dear 💜💚

Next up (and honestly the only other person I have to tag oops 💀) @docmartensanddietcoke my beloved. We've only been friends for a few months now but hot damn do I feel like we've known each other for years. We clicked so quickly and it kinda scared me at first but in such a good way??? Idk but you're amazing and so sweet and passionate and I just love talking to you so much. You've made me so excited about writing again after so long of being stuck in an endless loop of writer's block and just general insecurity that led to me not posting. I'm so happy I met you and I can't wait to see what 2023 brings us. Much love to you and thank you for showing me the pleasures (nudge nudge wink wink) of the pairing that is William T Spears and Mey-Rin 💜♥️💜

Okay so now the other stuff lol. So if you're one of the 20-30 some-odd people who started following me from seeing all the black butler bullshit I post, you wouldn't know but I used to be a kpop blog. I'm like 99% certain that I privated/deleted all of those posts though so yk hopefully y'all don't see that. I still reblog my nct loves because they are my ult group and I love them very much but I used to like only post about kpop. I had to switch because I just wasn't happy with it anymore. I had always envisioned myself as having a blog full of things I loved but after coming back from a break where I saw the fandoms I loved to interact with having gone to shit, I couldn't do it anymore. So I got rid of it all and rebranded 😃 It was honestly a really good decision though and I'm glad I did it because it reminded me of the reasons I started a tumblr account in the first place: to be happy.

For as creepy as certain sides of the black butler fandom may be, I've never felt so supported. Y'all are amazing and I still can't believe any of my posts got passed 50 notes let alone my top three all being just shy of or completely pass 100. All of the interaction is so appreciated and I can't wait to interact with you all more in the new year <33

With the good, though, comes the bad. So much of the last half of my senior year was full on unnecessary bullshit and drama and breakdowns. From the feeling of being stabbed in the back by people I thought I could trust, to being almost taken advantage of in my first wlw relationship, it just was not a great time. This really sucked, though, because my greatest hope was for my senior year in high school to be something worth remembering as I wasn't able to do anything the previous two years since covid put a downer on all of that. But whatever, I graduated and kept the people I wanted to and dropped those I didn't. It's still a work in progress in dropping some of those people, but in getting there lol

I got my first job, which I still have now, and I love working there. There are better days and worse days (I work in public service so there are always those karen's who will come in) but I love the people I work with and am glad that I decided to take the offer to work there when I did. I have some good memories there that definitely are core memories

I can't do this without mentioning the passing of Technoblade. If you didn't know who he was, Technoblade was a minecraft youtuber and streamer who helped so many people with his amazing and funny videos and his stories that he created on the Dream SMP. He unfortunately passed in June this year due to cancer. When I watched the video his dad made announcing it, the world went silent. I spent that whole night and much of the day after crying my eyes out. I couldn't imagine someone who had brought me so much comfort being gone. Hell I'm still not over it, and I don't think I ever will be. Techno was a huge influence, inspiration, and comfort for me and always will be. Fuck cancer.

I had many family problems throughout the year that I won't get into because that's a little more personal than I'd like to get to on such a public place lol. Just know that to all of you who are celebrating alone this year, I feel you, and my heart goes out to you. We aren't alone if we're all together

The one huge positive that I do have to mention is my starting to watch anime. I decided to take the plunge and watch ouran highschool host club because of a cosplay I saw of hikaru and kaoru on tiktok that made me go "oh what the fuck I'll give". I went in not expecting to finish even episode one and came out with new comfort characters and a world I couldn't leave behind. After ouran, I found kuroshitsuji and we'll...here we are lol

On top of the comfort I found in ouran, I found a series that was so much darker but had such good characters that I started to connect with and love. Grelle has been such a huge comfort for me and I can't imagine myself leaving her (or the series) behind at any point for next long while. Seeing such an empowering transgender woman really did it for me and I'm so happy I decided to watch this show and subsequently binge read the manga. I can't wait to see all the kuro content this next year brings

I've lost people this year, I've gained people this year. I've cried so many tears of sadness and absolutely no tears of joy. I've spent way more money than I should on genshin impact and food. Most importantly, I've found a place where I think I can start to build myself up again. Good fucking bye 2022, I'm gonna do my best to make 2023 my bitch and I think that y'all should join me. Thank you all for being here, and I wish you all a happy, healthy new year

If you've made it this far, new chapter of forever forgiveness comes out in two weeks ;)

[blueraspberrycoolatta]

i'd like to add to this as someone who, in a former fandom, did have their fic blow up. it was an absolutely wild experience that i honestly never wish to have again.

i've been posting on ao3 since 2013, on other sites for longer, and been on tumblr for 12+ years. for a long time my fics would maybe reach 1k hits, maybe even like 3k if it took off. maybe 3 comments at most. my fic promo posts for a few likes, maybe a reblog from a friend.

when i wrote That Fic with my friend, for the most popular ship in a large fandom, suddenly my stats skyrocketed. my fics were consistently getting ~5k hits and dozens of comments. i had caught the attention of the Big Name Fans, which meant i now had 'access' to their support and their network of followers. my fic posts that used to get 1 reblog would get reblogged by those BNFs and get 50+ reblogs in an hour. they were including my works in their rec lists. it felt...odd but good, i'll admit. these people who never would have spoken to me before were promoting my fics and enjoying my writing. i was getting my 15 minutes of fame.

but the thing about the 15 minutes of fame is that it's just that—15 minutes.

this was all very temporary for me and lasted about a year. briefly, i had a very public falling out with those BNFs and after we'd all cut ties and blocked each other, my fics got even fewer views than before. i was back to being lucky to reach 1k hits and getting maybe 20 notes on fic posts, tops. suddenly my work wasn't getting out to that larger audience, and my stats suffered for it.

and i'll be honest—it sucked! because for a little while, i had gotten used to how nice it was to have the visibility and respect. it sucked, but i carried on. and while i personally didn't care that much about losing support from those people because they weren't good people, i think for others that loss could be crushing. it could be for you, original anon. and i don't wish that kind of sharp rise and fall on anybody, because it me, it wasn't worth it.

i'm not in that fandom anymore mainly due to no longer liking/following the source media. but that One Fic that blew up continued to haunt me for years. despite my friend and i writing explicitly in the end notes that there would not be a sequel, we'd get comments 5 years later asking for a sequel. even though we both (thought we) had made it clear we wouldn't. we finally deleted it this year and we've never felt so free.

now, i did love that fic. it's comedic genius on our parts, and even though i'm not into that fandom, it still makes me laugh, because i'm proud of what we wrote. but my god, we couldn't stand having it out there for another day.

i'm now in my era where i write whatever i want. my silly little rarepairs, random kinks, twelve tropes thrown into a blender. and i love it! i'm so happy.

so that's my cautionary tale. i don't know if it helped. but i want to close out with this post:

my biggest obstacle as a writer is that i desperately want to be a popular and well-known fic author, but my main fic inspiration comes from characters most fans don’t want to read fic for, or ideas that go against popular fanon/characterization and so are doomed from the start. i end up feeling paralyzed and like i can’t write the unpopular ideas I want to write, because i hate knowing i could have done better by writing something with broader appeal. but whenever i try to write solely for numbers i lose motivation while the halfway through the fic. so i end up unable to write anything and feeling miserable because of it.

i want to see my unpopular ideas come to life, but i don’t want to see my fics crash and burn and keep missing the chance to create fic that people really love. so most times, i don’t write anything, but i hate that i’m so hamstrung by my own anxieties. i so desperately wish i could create one of those extremely well-known long fics that most people love and always rec everywhere, but i feel like i’m completely incapable of that. i know i should be writing for myself, but i’m greedy and want results and for people to like my fic, however unlikely that is. wanting to write my ideas but knowing i’ll limit my audience if i do is something that’s constantly on my mind. do you have any advice for me?

My biggest question after reading your ask is simply: why?

You're very clear about wanting to be a popular writer. You want to write a fic that lots of people talk about, and you want people to know who you are. Have you examined that desire at all?

You say that the things you actually want to write are not the things that will make you a popular author. That means you have a choice:

write things you don't care about with no guarantee of becoming that Big Name Fan or

write things you love and enjoy spending time writing and know that BNF status will probably never happen.

Writing fanfic is really not a great way to try to become popular. It's an even worse way to try to become "famous" in any kind of way. So dig into what it is that you hope to get from the "broader audience" that you could appeal to by writing something you don't really like.

Are you trying to get a feeling of being liked? Respected? Looked up to? Do you want to be someone other fans look to for advice or for setting the tone of the fandom? Do you want love? Power? Some kind of community connection? Recognition of the effort you put into your works?

Some of those things likely will require you to pretend to be someone you're not. You might even manage to write that one big fic that gets thousands of comments and tons of people talking about it on tumblr (or wherever else you care about, social media-wise).

Others you can probably still get by writing your "unpopular" ideas but seeking out your fellow fans. It will take more legwork to find them and you'll need to be willing to be the first one to reach out for a conversation, but it can definitely be done.

I'll leave it up to you to decide what you actually want, anon. But take your time and scrape off the top layer of shiny thoughts about popularity first. Then you'll be able to see what's underneath.

[veorlian]

Idolatry - Concealed Carry

Note: Part 1/3 of the chapters on the Citadel DLC. Technically part of a much longer fic, but I think they stand up okay on their own! An everybody lives/nobody dies au except that I didn’t realize I could do that until 2/3 of the way through. Sorry Kaidan :(((((((

Pairing: Garrus Vakarian/Female Shepard

Rating: T for swearing and stabbing.

ao3 link

Excerpt:

Bullets rained down from the front of the restaurant, and Brooks let out a blood-curdling shriek. Shepard swore softly and dragged Joker down, lifting up their table as a makeshift barricade. A group of heavily armed individuals marched in, their faces masked.

“Tonight’s performance was brought to you by random acts of violence!” one of them shouted.

“Where’s Commander Shepard?” another yelled. “Find her!” They spread out through the restaurant, sending the civilians running.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. “Two hours. I’ve been on shore leave for two hours. They couldn’t let me have an appetizer first?”

One of the mercs hauled away Brooks, kicking and screaming. Shepard grabbed the knife she had tucked away in her coat.

“Why do you have that?? We were going for dinner!” Joker hissed.

“Would you rather I didn’t have it right now? I have a few others, do you want one?” she asked, taking stock of the room.

“No???”

Full text under the cut!

...

The apartment was huge. Shepard was sure there were other, fancier words to describe it, but she sure as hell didn’t know them. An entire wall was a window, looking out into the night lights of the Citadel. There were walls wholly covered in green, verdant plants that she couldn’t identify. There was a damn waterfall. Shepard let out a low whistle, looking around. 

For the first time in weeks, she could breathe. These walls weren’t closing in on her, they were too far apart. The ceilings were vaulted like a church, reaching up into the sky. 

She wandered down to what had to be the living room (two giant couches, a fireplace, a grand piano??), and the TV flickered on.

“Shepard, good to see you,” Anderson said. There were new wrinkles creasing his forehead. She could hear distant explosions in the background of the vid.

“And you. How are you holding up?” she asked.

“We’ve had better days,” he said wearily.

“I know what you mean.” Damn, did she ever. “But why am I in this apartment?”

“I want you to have it,” he said, and Shepard’s brows reached her hairline. “I bought the place for Kahlee and I to settle down. Thing is, the longer I stay on Earth, the more I don’t want to leave. Figure someone should get some use out of it.”

“That’s...very generous. Are you sure?”

“It’s practical. We need you at your best, and you need somewhere you can take a break.”

“I-- thank you,” she said. “I’m guessing I don’t have a choice anyways?”

“Not even a little bit. Make yourself at home,” he said, smiling. “You take care, Shepard.”

“You too, Anderson,” Shepard said. He nodded and stepped out of frame. Marie replaced him. Her hair was more grey than black now, but she was smiling nonetheless.

“Good to see you in one piece, Jeanne,” she said. “I hear you killed a Reaper single handedly. Have I mentioned that you should be more careful?” Shepard grinned crookedly.

“Once or twice, maybe.”

“Apparently it bears repeating.” The affectionate exasperation was palpable, even with the light years between them.

“How are things there?” Shepard asked. Marie’s face became carefully blank, but Shepard had known her since she was a child. She couldn’t disguise the look in her deep brown eyes, or the small frown on her lips. Easy to forget, impossible to forget, that she was only 24.

“We’ll make it,” Marie said firmly. And then, “You’ll make it too. That’s an order, Commander.”

Shepard’s grin widened, and she sketched a salute. “Yes, ma’am,” she said. Marie rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. That was all that mattered.

“Go and get some rest, will you? The bags under your eyes are visible from Earth.”

“Harsh, but fair,” Shepard said easily. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Jeanne.” The call disconnected, and Shepard glanced around her new place. Her new place. Even the church had never truly been hers. There weren’t many things she considered truly her own, she supposed.

There were recordings littered around the apartment. Apparently Anderson had taken down voice notes for his biography. She couldn’t help the small, fond smile that flitted across her face. Her hands paused above the one labelled Shepard on the kitchen counter (she’d never had her own kitchen before). She pressed the play button, and she listened.

“Sure, I can talk about Commander Shepard. Big topic. There’s been a lot written about the Commander, but most of it isn’t true. People are quick to judge. They don’t know the whole story, I don’t even know the whole story. But I know the woman. Worked with her, fought with her, trust her with my life. Shepard’s had some rough patches, who of us hasn’t? She’s been forced to fight a lot of battles alone. God only knows how she got out of some of that. Makes your head spin.” 

Anderson’s warm voice filled the apartment, and his every word was laced with pride. Shepard realized belatedly that she was crying, hot tears painting her cheeks. Gently, she sunk to the floor and rested her head against the cupboard. She thought of Aratoht then, as she always seemed to. Makes my head spin too, she thought.

“Thing is, you never heard a complaint. Never once got ‘no sir, I can’t do that.’ She never hesitated. Few people know what Shepard’s been through. I like to think I come pretty close. And I worry sometimes she forgets: there’s a whole bunch of people who lose sleep about her getting back home. Maybe it doesn’t need to be said. Maybe we’re just to dumb to say it. Soldiers like the Commander are rare. Women like Shepard...even more rare.” Anderson’s voice drifted away.

I just...you don’t need to do everything alone anymore, you know? Garrus had said. Maybe they were right. Her heart was so full. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the warm feeling in her chest. Loved, maybe? Not a word she was used to choosing, but it fit the bill. She carefully picked herself up and dusted herself off, wiping the tears from her eyes. 

Her private message terminal was blinking, and she went to check her unread messages. There was a note from Joker asking him to meet him at a sushi restaurant. Huh. She’d never had sushi before. No time like the present, she supposed.

Shepard glanced down at herself. Perhaps, she thought, her N7 hoodie and cargo pants wouldn’t be appropriate for an upscale sushi place. She wandered upstairs and peeked into her room (there was a hot tub. She’d...well, she’d never had a bath before. No bathtubs in the Alliance). She tugged open the closet and her eyes widened. There was that dress Kasumi had insisted she keep, but next to it was something else entirely. Reverently, she ran her hands over the fabric. It was soft to the touch, velvet maybe? She pulled it out.

It was a suit. It had to be a suit, although it was unlike any she’d ever seen before. The matching pants and jacket were there, but that’s where the similarities stopped. It was a deep blue, but as the fabric shifted in her hands it looked dark burgundy. There was a matching silk black camisole to wear underneath. It felt luxurious, soft as a cloud. She’d never owned anything this expensive that didn’t fire bullets. There was a small note tucked in the pocket.

Thanks for all your help. Consider this an early birthday gift. Who knows, by the time you take a break it may be your actual birthday. I think I’ve got the measurements right, but nobody’s perfect.  - Miranda P.S., there’s a white shirt as well, but it’s much harder to get blood stains out of white silk.

Shepard smiled down at the note, and very carefully got dressed, anxious not to damage the clothes. She tugged on the heeled boots that seemed to go with it, and examined herself in the mirror. Miranda might insist that she wasn’t perfect, but she’d done a damn fine job with this. The cuffs fell to the exact right spot on her wrists, and for the first time in her life, the legs were long enough. The boots had a low heel, comfortable and well-balanced enough that she could run.

And Miranda, blessed Miranda, had included a concealed pocket for a switchblade. Shepard loosened her strict braid into something a little more casual, and she smiled at herself in the mirror one last time. Then she left for sushi.

The lineup outside the restaurant was around the block and then some. The people waiting were distinctly unhappy that Shepard had a reservation. If looks could kill, Shepard would have been pushing the daisies. She strode past the glares with practiced ease. Joker was seated at a table at the back, and he waved her over.

“Just gotta save the galaxy twice to get a place here, huh?” he said. “Hey, maybe when we do it again they’ll let us eat free!”

“That’s the spirit,” Shepard said. “How are you enjoying your vacation?”

“I feel like I should go check the Normandy for missing parts,” he griped. “I don’t trust those engineers.” Shepard chuckled and patted him on the arm.

“She’ll be fine, Joker. She’s been through the Omega 4, she can handle a few repairs. Relax, you’re on shore leave.”

“I’m gonna need a lot more drinks with umbrellas in them,” he said mournfully.

“I’m the first human Spectre. I’ll get you two umbrellas,” she said wryly.

“Awesome use of power, boss! So, what’d you ask me here to talk about? Your note said it was important.”

“Me? You invited me here,” Shepard said, her eyebrows knitting together.

“Commander Shepard, please I need to talk to you!” A young woman in an Alliance uniform pushed her way forward, with the maitre d’ shouting after her. The people in line looked positively murderous.

“Can I help you?” Shepard asked politely.

“I’m Staff Analyst Maya Brooks of Alliance Intelligence. Someone’s trying to kill you!” the woman cried. Shepard and Joker exchanged a look.

“Uh, yeah. I think she’s aware,” Joker said dryly.

“No! I don’t mean the Reapers and Cerberus. Other people,” Brooks said. “They’re hacking your accounts, your communications, and it looks like they’re targeting you personally!”

“What information do you have?” Shepard asked. She straightened up, suddenly all business.

“Well--” Brooks began.

Bullets rained down from the front of the restaurant. Brooks let out a blood-curdling shriek. Shepard swore softly and dragged Joker down, lifting up their table as a makeshift barricade. A group of heavily armed individuals marched in, their faces masked.

“Tonight’s performance was brought to you by random acts of violence!” one of them shouted.

“Where’s Commander Shepard?” another yelled. “Find her!” They spread out through the restaurant, sending the civilians running.

Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose. “Two hours. I’ve been on shore leave for two hours. They couldn’t let me have an appetizer first?”

One of the mercs hauled away Brooks, kicking and screaming. Shepard grabbed the knife she had tucked away in her coat.

“Why do you have that?? We were going for dinner!” Joker hissed.

“Would you rather I didn’t have it right now? I have a few others, do you want one?” she asked, taking stock of the room.

“No???”

“Joker, I need you to stay calm,” Shepard whispered, placing a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to take these guys out. When the coast is clear, go find the rest of the team. But I need you to stay here until it’s safe, understood?”

“You don’t need to tell me twice,” he said fervently. One of the mercenaries approached to look behind the table. Shepard caught his arm and sent him sprawling to the ground, following it up with a devastating jab from her omni-tool directly to the face. She grabbed his gun and held it at the ready. She glanced around her cover and saw two more mercs coming at her. One went down with a shot to the face, the other with a thrown knife to the throat.

“Joker, now!” she hissed. Joker got up and stumbled away as best he could. Once he was out, Shepard activated her tactical cloak and booked it across the room. If there was one thing she’d learned these long years, it was that the best fight was the one you avoided. Once she’d made it to Brooks, she tried to help her to her feet. A sniper appeared from above and fired a shot, hitting Brooks. Shepard backed away and each shot landed by her, sinking into the ground.

If only the restaurant hadn’t decided to use fish tanks as their floor.

Shepard went down, glass shattering around her. She seemed to hit every bone on the way down the side of the building, banging into the wall over and over again. She slammed into the ground hard, all of her freshly-healed wounds screaming obscenities at her.

“Commander!” Brooks called over the comms. “Are you alright?”

“Peachy,” Shepard groaned. “Can you find me a way out of here?” Dr. Chakwas was going to have a fit. She’d been off the ship two hours and she was already broken again. Ugh. At least the clothes seemed to be in one piece. Small mercies, Shepard supposed, as she struggled to her feet.

“Uh, yes! Keep going forward, I think!” Brooks said. Shepard grit her teeth.

“Thanks,” she managed. She slid down the ladder up ahead of her and took a look around. Somewhere in the wards, she figured.

“There’s a sky-car lot up ahead of me, Brooks. Could you find me a path there?” Shepard asked.

“Ah, yes! Of course!” Brooks replied nervously. Shepard tried very hard not to roll her eyes as she wove her way through the wards. She came up on some kind of market, and she caught sight of another group of mercs barrelling towards her.

“There she is!” one of them called. Shit. This outfit really wasn’t built for stealth, huh? God, she’d kill for a rifle right about now. Instead, she slipped back into her tactical cloak and hid behind a fruit stand. What a weird fucking day.

“Shepard! Are you alright?” It was a relief to hear Garrus’ voice, even if it was only through her earpiece. Tension she didn’t realize she’d been carrying dissipated, ever so slightly.

“I’m fine, but I could use a hand,” she said ruefully, aiming an incendiary blast directly to the face of one of her attackers.

“Joker sent me your location, I’m on my way,” he said immediately.

“This is a secure channel!” Brooks cut in. “You’re putting Commander Shepard at risk!”

“I’m what? Who is this?” Garrus demanded.

“Brooks, Garrus. Garrus, this is Brooks,” Shepard said. “Now please hush, it's a little hard to kill mercenaries with people arguing in my ear.”

“Shepard, I am sending backup to your location,” EDI said.

“Sounds good, things are getting a little dicey here,” Shepard replied. She glanced over the fruit stall and had to duck quickly as a drone came barrelling towards her. It exploded directly next to her, sending pieces of watermelon and blueberries flying.

“I will attempt to register surprise,” EDI said dryly. Shepard grinned crookedly at that. She dashed forward as another round of mercs came at her. She spent the next several minutes fading in and out of invisibility, running hell for leather past the mercs. Her legs, miraculously, stayed upright. Small mercies. She pulled into the car lot and slammed the door shut behind her. A shot zipped past her, missing by inches. … “Having a bad day, Shepard?” Garrus called. He took out the merc that had shot at her, and scanned the area for any more threats. It looked like they were clear for the moment. Now to find a way out of the lot.

“You could say that,” she said, pushing flyaway hairs away from her face. “Let’s look for a control panel.” His eyes finally came to rest on her and his breath stuttered in his throat. She was wearing that thing humans called a ‘suit,’ but not like any he’d ever seen before. His mouth was suddenly too dry.

“Nice outfit,” he managed. The look she gave him was unimpressed, but he wasn’t thinking with his brain at the moment. “Ah, control panel. Right.”

Shepard strode through the lot and glanced into the darkened office. She gently tapped on the glass. Garrus hurried after her.

“Could you open the doors up?” she said politely. The doors opened a second later. “Much appreciated.”

“Please leave,” the volus inside pleaded.

Garrus motioned for Shepard to stay behind him. Only one of them was armoured, after all. She raised an eyebrow and took point.

“So...you fell through a fish tank?” he ventured.

“We’ll talk about it later,” she replied.

“Damn shame,” he said, and now he was just doing it for the reaction. Midnight blue fabric. Not thinking with his brain. “I hear it was the best on the Citadel.”

“We’ll talk about it later,” she said more firmly, but there was a twinkle in her eyes. He gave her arm a quick squeeze, and then they both stepped onto the landing zone. That Brooks person had apparently radioed to say that a C-Sec shuttle was on the way. When it appeared though, the door opened to reveal a group of the same mercs that had been attacking Shepard. Garrus ducked down and dragged her with him. Bullets skittered across the ground around them.

“Any chance I could borrow that Widow of yours?” she asked breathlessly. He looked at her incredulously.

“I must not have heard you right,” he said. “You definitely did not just ask to borrow my favourite gun.” She opened her mouth to reply,  and then her eyes widened.

“Do you hear that?” she asked.

“Hear what?”

“Krogan coming through!” Wrex bellowed, soaring through the air. He slammed down onto the front of the shuttle, sending half of the mercenaries flying. He mowed his way through the other half, shooting, punching, and in one case, launching them off the shuttle. Shepard was grinning wildly.

“Wrex! What are you doing here?” she asked, running forward.

“Negotiating krogan expansion with the Council,” he explained. “But that AI of yours said there’d be a fight. So here I am.”

“Glad you could make it to the party," Garrus lied through his teeth.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Wrex said. He clapped Garrus on the shoulder harder than necessary. “Figured Shepard would need some help, if you’re the only backup she has.”

“Try to keep up, old man,” Garrus shot back.

“It may have escaped your notice, but we are being shot at right now, boys,” Shepard said dryly. Ah, right. Fair point. ... Once they were clear, they gathered in Shepard’s new apartment. Brooks was pacing back and forth, and Shepard put a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly.

“Me? I got shot! Like, with an actual bullet. I took a desk job so I wouldn’t get shot! They said the medi-gel might make me jumpy, do I seem jumpy to you?” Brooks said.

“Hey, hey,” Shepard said soothingly, the voice she usually reserved for grieving families. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”

“We need to stop those guys, they might hurt more innocent people! Like me! I got shot!”

“Yes. Do we have any leads?” Shepard asked. The door to the apartment opened gently and Liara stepped through.

“I may have some suggestions on that,” she said. “Are you alright, Shepard?”

“I think my ribs are bruised again, but what else is new?” Shepard said ruefully. “That C-Sec shuttle should have had officers in it. I’ll get in touch with Commander Bailey, see what happened,” Shepard said, punching in the number in her omni-tool.

“Wait!” Brooks said. Everyone turned to look at her. “Uh, wouldn’t anyone you contact also become a target?”

“She’s got a point,” Garrus said.

Shepard nodded brusquely. “You're right. We keep this between us for now.”

“Fortunately, I’ve brought a few people who can help,” Liara said cheerfully. The door was knocked on its hinges as every member of her crew -- and a few people who weren’t -- filed in. The apartment was large, but even so Shepard was going to need to figure out where to put all of these people. What, was there an event going on at the Citadel right now that had brought them all there? Well, besides her attempted assassination.

“The riff-raff have arrived. Garrus, hide the silverware.” Shepard’s voice was pitched to carry.

“Up yours, Shepard,” Jack shot back.

“What she said,” Zaeed added.

"I'll go see what I can find. Come find me when you have a moment," Liara said.

Shepard wandered around to speak with everyone, but it all just seemed to be variations on the theme of “haha Shepard ruined the sushi restaurant” or “Shepard, how could you destroy that sushi restaurant”? Evidently they’d collectively decided to forget that she hadn't exactly chosen to be shot at. What compassionate friends she had, she thought wryly. She gave up after a while and went to talk to Liara.

“What's the word?” she asked. The others slowly gathered around. There was barely enough room for them all to stand together. 

“That pistol you found, it’s not available anywhere on the market. I’ve tracked it to a weapons dealer named Elijah Khan. He owns a casino nearby. They’re holding a charity event tonight,” Liara explained.

“So we sneak in and talk to this Khan guy?” Ash asked.

“My sources tell me he’s locked himself in his panic room. We would need someone to sneak inside this vent system.” Liara pulled up a map of the casino interior. “And deactivate the lock.”

“I say we blow the place to high heaven,” Zaeed suggested.

“I’m in,” Wrex said immediately.

“I’m open to other suggestions,” Shepard said. “Any other suggestions.” Zaeed politely flipped her off.

“Bringing a large group would arouse suspicion,” Thane said thoughtfully. “A covert infiltration would be best.” Shepard nodded.

“Alright, just a small crew then. I’ll need someone to take point with me, and then someone else will crawl through that vent,” Shepard said. “Any takers for the vent?” She looked around the room for volunteers. They were not forthcoming.

“Mechs are not allowed in case they are used for cheating. Legion and I will not be able to enter,” EDI explained. Shepard’s eyes swung to Tali and she raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t look at me!” Tali protested. “They’d uh...pick up my suit!” Shepard shrugged.

“What you need is somebody trained in zero-emissions tech. No electronics, no metal. Just undetectable polymers. We had a course back at Op-Int, disabling a bomb with these little tweezers. See, the bomb was filled with shaving cream…” Brooks trailed off as she realized everyone was looking at her. Shepard smiled at her reassuringly.

“Alright Brooks, you’re our alternate,” she said.

“What? Me? I couldn’t...what do you mean alternate?” Brooks asked. Shepard smiled ruefully.

“I wouldn’t want to put you in more danger. You’ve already been shot once. And since I’ve had two gun mods go missing since I got back, I have a sneaking suspicion that there’s someone here who can lend a helping hand. Kasumi?”

The galaxy’s best thief materialized, sitting on the kitchen counter. She had a cheeky grin under her hood.

“You’re getting very good at that,” she said cheerfully.

“Sure would’ve been awkward if I’d been wrong,” Shepard replied wryly. 

“Damn, I should’ve stayed hidden!”

“What do you say to a heist with me?” Shepard asked. Kasumi hopped down from the counter and sketched a bow.

“I’d be delighted,” she said.

“There’s just one problem,” Liara cut in.

“Current estimate: 57 problems and counting,” Mordin replied. “Additional 34 if you decide to take the krogan.” Shepard couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across her face.

“Well, one of the problems is that it’s black-tie only,” Liara said. Shepard raised an eyebrow and glanced down at her outfit. It was still damp from crashing through a fish tank, but otherwise undamaged.

“Will this do?” she asked, motioning to the suit.

“It’ll more than do,” Garrus said huskily, and then coughed awkwardly when several sets of eyes turned to look at him. “What? I’m just answering the question.”

“Who’s going with us then?” Kasumi asked, and Shepard grinned.

Bright lights flashed in Shepard’s eyes as she and Garrus walked down the literal red carpet, arm-in-arm. Maybe one day they’d get to go somewhere nice without worrying about a nefarious plot. For now, she was on vacation and she was going to enjoy herself, attempts on her life be damned.

“You clean up well,” Shepard commented. He had on another of those intricate turian outfits, with more buckles than fabric, in a combination of black and white. He wore it well. They were, she imagined, quite a striking couple. For one, they were a good head taller than anyone else. For two, well...

“Yeah? Then it’s a damn shame that all eyes are on you,” Garrus replied.

“I did the best I could without a carapace or a crest,” she said wryly.

“Well your best has my mandible on the floor. Damn!” he said easily.

“You two are adorable,” Kasumi said from somewhere to Shepard’s left. Shepard flushed a brilliant red, and she heard Kasumi laugh brightly.

Shepard and Garrus mingled with the wealthy clientele, occasionally providing support for Kasumi as she travelled through the vents. Shepard realized, suddenly, that this was the bright and shining culture she’d seen from afar when she was younger. This was what she’d wanted to experience. As far as she was concerned, they could keep it.

Distracting the guards to disable the alarms wasn’t exactly a walk in the park, but they managed it. But when they arrived in the panic room, Khan was already dead. Shit.

“It’s never that easy, huh?” Garrus asked.

“He received a call a few minutes before he died. Give them a ring and I’ll see if I can trace it,” Kasumi said. The large screen behind the desk flickered to light and a figure appeared on the screen. Their face was concealed by static, and their voice was altered.

“Elijah? Come crawling back?” they asked.

“Guess again,” Shepard said. Kasumi's hands flashed across her omni-tool.

“You. I see you’ve recovered from flopping on the floor like a fish.”

“You’ll have to do better than that. The last guy that trash-talked me was a few kilometres taller than you.” Shepard leaned back, crossing her arms.

“Brave. I thought as much, but it won’t matter. You have nothing. All you can do is wait for the hammer to fall. I’m going to take everything you have, and everything you are.” The call ended.

“Gotcha,” Kasumi said brightly.

“Shepard, someone’s wiped the drive. Bit of a messy job though, there might be something left,” Garrus said.

“Between EDI, Legion, and Tali, I’m sure we’ll be able to find something. Let’s go.”

They were once more gathered around the pool table, now with even less room than before. They were discussing the information they’d been able to find on Khan’s drive, mostly information about the guns that Shepard’s attackers had bought. Glyph flew over and hovered above the table, flashing red.

“Commander, I have found your Spectre code being used at the Citadel Archives,” he said.

“What would they want there?” Shepard asked.

“Shall we go find out?” Liara said.

“But who? We can’t bring everyone,” Brooks piped up. Shepard grinned.

“Why not?” she asked. “All hands on deck for this one.”

“Very well, but who will take point with you?” Liara asked. Wrex coughed pointedly. And then Javik coughed even more pointedly. Tali coughed politely, but also pointedly.

“Garrus and Jack, you’re with me. Everyone else, divide up into three teams of whoever is least likely to want to kill each other.”

“What happens if I want to kill bird-brain?” Jack asked.

“Think happy thoughts,” Shepard suggested.

“Those are my happy thoughts,” Jack replied snarkily. Ah. Some things never changed.

They’d barely made it into the archives when they walked into a trap. The others were up on the catwalks above, and every door in the room slammed shut. A figure appeared behind Brooks and pressed a gun to her temple. They were shadowed, and even Shepard’s excellent vision couldn’t quite make them out.

“Don’t move, or she dies,” they said.

“Who are you?” Shepard demanded. The figure chuckled darkly.

Why do I know that voice? Shepard wondered. The figure tossed Brooks aside, and strode forward into the light. She wore the same uniform as the mercs, but her face…Shepard stared back at her own Roman nose and burning red hair. Only not quite. This nose had never been broken, and there wasn’t the familiar patchwork quilt of scar tissue across her face and neck. 

“I’m you, but better,” the other Shepard said. “Without all the doubts and the wear and tear.”

“Huh. This officially takes the cake for the weirdest thing that’s happened to me,” Shepard said. “Let me rephrase: what the fuck is going on?”

“Cerberus spared no expense when it came to bringing you back. Me, they made for spare parts, in case you needed an arm, or a lung, or a kidney. When they had you, they discarded me,” her clone snapped. Shepard’s brows knit together.

“Well if you’re me, then we should be working together,” she said. The clone scoffed.

“Why would I bother helping you? Why should I care? You took everything from me, and now I’m going to take everything from you. But there was no way I’d fool your friends, so I needed to get rid of them as well. All the people that turned their backs of their responsibilities to join the cult of Shepard,” the clone spat. The cult of Shepard…?

“No one will ever believe you’re me,” Shepard said, trying a different tactic.

“Sure they will, when I’m flying your ship,” the clone replied. Shepard froze and then immediately started keying into her omni-tool.

“Traynor, I need you to lock down the ship, understood? Here are the command codes,” she said quickly. Her clone smirked and waved a hand in front of her.

“Good idea, if only that message had been sent,” she said. She keyed up her own omni-tool and raised her voice slightly. “Traynor, this is Shepard. Prepare for departure. Here are the command codes.”

Shepard’s hands balled up into fists. “It’ll be a cold day in hell before someone steals my ship.”

The clone shrugged nonchalantly. “We’ll see about that.” She turned to leave.

“Tell me,” Shepard called after her. “Do you know your own name?”

“It’s Joan,” the clone replied smugly. Shepard grinned, baring her teeth. 

“Guess again,” she said, and she activated her tactical cloak.

They fought their way through the archives, the other teams racing on the catwalks above. Liara’s information drone, Glyph, scouted ahead. Occasionally he returned, saying that he mistook the clone for Shepard. Shepard tried very hard not to roll her eyes, and she mostly succeeded.

“The other Shepard’s still alive!” one of the mercs yelled.

“The next person who says that is a dead man!” the clone snapped over the comms.

“An accurate observation,” Legion said.

“What do I do??” Brooks cried. “They’re firing at me!”

“Just follow Shepard's lead and let us do all the heavy lifting!” Liara called.

“Touché, T'Soni!” Garrus shot back.

“Think you comedians could actually hit something?” Shepard shouted, ducking to avoid oncoming enemy fire. 

They forged on through the archives, passing by clips of history. One by one, the teams stopped responding. Shepard pushed on faster, concern creeping up on her. And so she rushed headlong directly into a trap that she should’ve seen coming. Shepard set foot onto a platform and a forcefield appeared around her, Jack, and Garrus

The clone stepped forward, smiling smugly. Shepard tried to shoot her, but the force-field stopped the bullets dead. Shit. Shepard felt light-headed. She was locked in a small space. A very small space. Oh god, such a small space. Her heart hammered in her chest and she fought to control her breathing. She reached for her familiar, cold veneer. Like hell she was going to show weakness in front of the enemy. 

“Well well, the great Commander Shepard. But not for very much longer.”

“Where are my friends?” Shepard spat.

“Locked up in iridium vaults forever. And it’s all your fault,” her clone taunted.

“The Alliance will stop you--” Shepard began.

“Will they?” Her clone cut her off. “What do you think, Staff Analyst Brooks?” Brooks sauntered forward from the shadows.

“I wouldn’t know.” Her voice had shifted, becoming deeper, more assured. “I don’t actually work for them.”

“You bitch,” Jack spat.

“I’m with Jack on this one,” Garrus said. Shepard arched an eyebrow and crossed her arms. When she spoke, her voice wasn’t her own.

“This feels like the time when the villain explains their grand plan,” she said. “So what the hell?”

“Really we just wanted your Spectre codes,” Brooks explained. “But then you had to insist on surviving. So, I had to improvise.”

“Then I must say, I'm impressed,” Shepard said.

“Oh?”

“Your optimism is impressive,” Shepard clarified. “You threw, what, fifty mercs at me and you thought that would finish me off? For such a smart woman, that's remarkably short-sighted of you.”

“I think I've made up for it now. Let's see you get out of a locked box.”

“What, this? No, I've been in far worse situations than this. Last week I was trapped at the bottom of an ocean in a mech. This is nothing.”

“You seem remarkably calm for a dead woman,” Shepard’s clone said. Shepard’s eyes flicked to her and she sneered.

“I could say the same of you. You can change the records, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing. You know the name on my file, but you don’t know the first thing about me. How are you going to convince Anderson or Hackett or--”

“Or General Shepard?” Brooks cut her off. “We’ll deal with her.”

Shepard stilled. Her erratic heartbeat settled. Her words, when they came, were soft. “If you threaten her again, I will make you wish that I’d only killed you.”

“That's quite a threat. I might even be afraid, if Commander Shepard had said it. But you're nobody,” Brooks said.

“And you're on borrowed time,” Shepard replied. Brooks' expression faltered, just a tiny bit, at whatever she saw in Shepard’s eyes. Shepard’s clone scoffed loudly, breaking through the tense silence.

“You know the one thing about us that they can’t replace? Our handprint. It changes based on life experiences,” the clone said. Shepard thought of the scars that used to twist across her palms. “But now I’m going to replace yours.” The clone pulled up a terminal and pressed her hand down.

“Hello, Commander Shepard,” the computer said. The clone grinned smugly.

“Goodbye,” Brooks murmured. “I guess this is where legends go to die.” She and the clone waltzed away, seemingly without a care in the world. The platform jerked beneath Shepard and walls slowly closed around her.

“I’m going to strangle them,” Shepard vowed.

“I’m all for that, but we’re still trapped in this fucking box,” Jack pointed out.

“With limited air,” Garrus added. Shepard hummed noncommittally. 

“Hey Glyph, you still out there?” she called.

“Yes Commander.”

“Get us out of this thing, and then go find the others. Nobody steals my ship, not even me.”

Joker pulled up in a sky car just as the last stragglers pulled themselves up onto the roof.

“I’ve got room for Shepard and two more, and you better decide fast because those assholes are stealing my baby,” he snapped. 

“I could drive--” Shepard said.

“NO!” The sound of the entire crew shouting the word echoed across the rooftop.

“Fine,” Shepard muttered. “Garrus and EDI, with me.”

“I wanted to go,” Wrex grumbled.

“You should have thought of that before you insulted my driving,” Shepard said. “Joker will be back for you soon.”

Joker hit the pedal to the floor as soon as everyone was in the car. A moment later, there was a whirring sound from the back seat. 

“They’re trying to take control of the ship--” EDI said. Her eyes spun around, and sparks flew off of her. She shut down.

“Crap,” Garrus said. EDI powered back up, her eyes still askew.

“Are you...okay?” Joker ventured.

“I am functional, but I have no control of the Normandy. I feel...lost,” EDI said brokenly.

“Don’t worry, we’ll have you back in no time. You have my word,” Shepard said.

“Thank you.”

They arrived on the Normandy just as it was starting to pull away. Traynor was in the entryway, sputtering various unflattering things about Shepard. She caught sight of Shepard and she held her toothbrush threateningly in front of her.

“What’s going on?” she demanded. “You were...you were back there! I was minding my own business, and then you marched in and fired me! I barely had time to grab my toothbrush!”

Shepard held up her hands. “That’s a Cision Pro Mark IV. It uses tiny mass effect fields to break up plaque and massage the gums. I know that because you told me, because I’m the real Shepard. The one you saw earlier was a clone.”

“I--”

“I wish I had time to explain, but we need to get on the ship. No one knows it better than you do, Traynor,” Shepard said quickly. Traynor thought for a second. Apparently she decided to go along with it, because she leaned down to examine the ground.

“There should be a ventilation shaft around...here.” She pulled up a piece of the floor. EDI shook her head.

“You would need something that could precisely manipulate mass effect fields,” she explained. Shepard met Traynor’s eyes, and Traynor determinedly turned on her toothbrush.

 Crawling through a shaft wasn’t exactly ideal for Shepard’s over six-foot frame, but she just about managed it.

“If you’d told me this morning that a toothbrush was going to save the Normandy, I’d have been very skeptical,” she whispered. “Remind me to reimburse Traynor, I think it broke.”

“Shepard, you--” EDI began.

“Later. Remind me later.”

They opened the grate into the CIC with guns blazing. The mercenaries were no match for them. EDI looked like she was running on sheer, unadulterated rage. She grabbed hold of a dying mercenary. Her voice was like ice. “Where are they?”

“Cargo bay,” the merc managed.

“Thank you for your assistance,” EDI said, and shot him in the face. Shepard met Garrus’ eyes and shrugged helplessly. They made their way to the elevator, and Shepard’s heart dropped to the floor. Mako’s cage, along with her carefully assembled collection of model ships, was resting in a garbage bin. There was a note on top with handwriting that was almost (but not quite) the same as Shepard’s.

“Please get rid of this, a ship is no place for…oh that is so not okay. They messed with my hamster guys. Now it’s personal,” Shepard hissed.

“Was it not personal before?” Garrus asked.

“I-- well, yeah. But Mako’s defenceless. What was a little hamster going to do to them--”

“I suggest we keep moving,” EDI cut in.

“Right, right. Of course.” Shepard hit the button on the elevator.

[beautifulpersonpeach]

BPP, I keep going back to 2022 festa and can't believe nobody saw this coming. Did RM really hate the music they were making? Did he hate himself for so long and we never saw it? It breaks my heart to bits to imagine them suffering like this. I find myself hating HYBE more and more for forcing them to remain in the band. Who knows how else the company has been controlling them behind the scenes. I think people who called out HYBE when Dynamite was released were right. BTS need to leave BigHit and show they won't be controlled by anyone. Who do you think was behind BTS' break decision? And if your answer is military enlistment then why didn't they mention it in the festa dinner?

**

Rewriting this answer three times because Tumblr glitches kept deleting the whole thing…

Hi Anon,

I let your ask sit for some days before answering, because my first instinct was to just link their Festa Dinner and ask you to watch it. But I don't think that would be very helpful. So instead I’ll just share a different perspective of what a healthy working relationship can look like, because that’s essentially the crux of your question.

In K-pop (and the Western music industry), it's normal for idols/artists to be at odds with their company. SM Entertainment for example probably holds the record for the most number of lawsuits idols have filed against an agency, and if we take a look at the proportion of people who are fans of SM groups within the wider k-pop fandom, I'd guess they'd account for almost 50% of the whole space - there's a lot of them. So when k-pop fans default to thinking BTS must be constantly butting heads with their management in a way that's detrimental to the guys, these k-pop fans have seen a lot of examples and have a whole industry's worth of reasons to think so.

The kicker is, for anybody who actually follows BTS and their relationship with Bang PD and HYBE, especially for the last five years, they'd know it's unlikely to see a massive fallout such as the sort seen with EXO, happen with BTS.

[ Consider how when BTS renewed their contract with more than a year to go in 2018, it was highlighted they negotiated their contracts without even having lawyers present, just to express how amicable that process was.

Consider how when JTBC in December 2019 claimed BTS was planning to sue BigHit, it was ARMY out in front asking for receipts while the rest of the industry and other k-pop fans took it as a given. Less than 24 hours later when BTS members, their parents, and BigHit released statement refuting that report and JTBC had to publicly apologize, k-pop fans were confused, and many netizens were surprised that rather than attack BigHit when the news broke, ARMY had gone after JTBC seeking receipts and asking for whatever actual verifiable information the media house had to base their report on. ]

It's possible to read and hear about BTS disagreeing with their company and not think they're about to file a lawsuit. Imagine any other scenario where people would hear, "we were not all in agreement about doing this song [Dynamite] at first", and think that the guys involved were coerced and exploited into the decision. Based on what they all said during the dinner, the boys are very heavily involved in the direction their music takes. Their own opinions on the songs they're making helps determine the output, and naturally by now, they'd be used to navigating their various viewpoints on a song alongside their producers and this is even more so for viewpoints on their career. Wouldn't all this extremely unlikely to happen under tyrannical management? Think about it. This is a perspective I think is obvious, but in some parts of the internet this is a perspective that earns me the label of 'company stan', since it’s hip to be anti-capitalist in the 21st century and it's a fact corporations are evil, employees have no free will, and contracts are soul-bound so people have no room nor ability to maneuver around while in them.

But even then, in business and corporate settings, compromise happens daily and it doesn't mean any of these adult men are being mistreated, coerced, or controlled by a nebulous corporate entity. I don't think you have nearly enough information to determine they need to leave their company.

I've rambled a lot so I'll try to be brief and say the rest of what I think in point form.

"Who do you think was behind BTS' break decision?"

BTS.

- RM. Edited transcript of the Festa Dinner. Translation credit: @/winterlyblooms

And this is before we consider that the boys had planned to take a break before 2020, before Dynamite. Their sentiments in Map of The Soul: 7 were alarming the first time a lot of us in the fandom heard them, because unlike prior years, those sentiments were more explicit and were laid out so clearly.

We know how involved they are in making this music, so then we had to wonder: if they were really tired, if they really feared they could lose direction, if they were really losing their love for this.

BTS had planned to tour every corner of the planet they could get to, "burn like crazy then crash", Jin would go to the military by the end of 2020, and they'd focus on their solo music.

But then the pandemic happened, their tour was first postponed, then cancelled. They had planned to expand their reach worldwide by going on their biggest tour yet, but when COVID made that impossible, they switched strategies and instead decided to target the largest music market in the world: the U.S. Dynamite exploded and the Korean government postponed Jin's expected enlistment date. That year, BTS also became the first k-pop group in history receive a Grammy nomination.

So BTS gave it another whirl on Butter/PTD with RM hoping that in the meantime, maybe he'd be able to figure out a way forward for the group. But he couldn't and it makes sense that he couldn’t. These are adult men, many of whom have become artists in every sense of the word, they have an identity and need an outlet. They each need an opportunity to showcase who they’ve become, and they need to experience the challenge of being on one's own to grow in any real sense. In my humble opinion.

*

“And if your answer is military enlistment then why didn’t they mention it during the dinner?”

My answer isn’t military enlistment though I think it’s definitely a factor here. BTS were initially due to begin their service by end of 2020, before their government modified that law on their behalf given their accomplishments. It’s entirely reasonable for BTS to not talk about it during the dinner. Aside from the fact that the subject of enlistment is besides the point, mentioning it would only distract from the issues the boys were trying to communicate. I mean, we’ve all seen the fallout in Korea from the Festa Dinner without BTS mentioning the military. All it would’ve done is add fuel to the bonfire of pundits, commentators, and K-pop fans prone to ‘discourse’ picking these boys apart just to spread the exact opposite of what the boys actually mean, for the rest of the population to dissect them further.

*

"can't believe nobody saw this coming."

I don't think anybody knew they'd talk about it and announce it during the Festa dinner, but practically all of what was discussed during the dinner are issues many ARMYs were well aware of. Just see the first link in my pinned post. So while it's true 'nobody saw this coming' in terms of the specific timing, many in the fandom had been expecting this news for some time. BTS have been talking about their career in terms of 'two chapters' since late 2019 and every Vlive RM has done since December 15, 2019, has touched on the issues discussed during the Festa 2022 Dinner.

*

"Did RM really hate the music they were making? Did he hate himself for so long and we never saw it?"

These are two very different questions but the short answer to both is no.

*

All this to say, Anon, you're free to feel however you feel about HYBE. It's a corporation that does as corporations do. The last two years have been really something of an anomaly for BTS. I think everyone can agree on that note, but the reason why the last two years seemed so weird is what BTS explained to ARMY during Festa. If all you got from that was the narrative of Draconian top-down control over BTS to the point they are neglected, abused, and otherwise mistreated, to the point they need to leave the company... that narrative has no basis in reality, certainly not for the last 5 years. And the 2022 Festa Dinner (and everything that’s happened since then) is one of the best examples why.

[i-am-the-entertainer]

Tracking the Tick, Tick... Boom! Deleted Scenes

So basically, we know that the initial assembly cut of Tick, Tick... Boom! was 2 hours and 20 minutes, whereas the finished film, minus credits, is 1 hour and 50 minutes (x). That means there’s about 30 minutes of cut material. Which of course leaves the question: what was cut from the movie? Here’s my attempt at figuring that out.

Confirmed

“Green Green Dress”: This is the one everyone knows already. They filmed it, but Lin-Manuel Miranda cut it because it didn’t really contribute to the story. Fun fact: Footage from it is actually in the trailer! It’s around the 2:04 minute mark if you go on YouTube. Edit: And now we have the full song!

A scene featuring a guy named “Simon”: Jordan Fisher was supposed to appear in the movie but because of the film’s delays he couldn’t do it. Well, press reports from early in production listed him as playing a guy named “Simon” (x), whereas in the lead-up to the film’s release Noah Robbins was credited as Simon (x). But then, as Lin-Manuel Miranda explained, the scene got cut anyway.(x)

An alternate opening scene: The original opening of the film was apparently going to be a sequence of Jonathan stressing out as he gets ready to go onstage for the performance. It was cut because they felt the opening scene needed to be about who the character is instead of what his anxieties are. (x) The original teaser trailer from June 2021 (link here) actually uses footage from this deleted opening.

Alternate first Jonathan and Michael scene: “30/90″ went through a couple different passes of the various scenes in Jonathan’s life that get shown throughout the song: the diner scene that’s in the finished song is a pickup, redone partly so they could better introduce the character of Freddy. What they had in its place was a scene of Jonathan and Michael packing up the apartment. (same source as above). I suspect the scene in the trailer where Michael asks if Jonathan is being led by fear or love, and Jonathan responds “Fear! 100% fear!” is from that.

Unconfirmed But Decent Evidence

Lauren Marcus as “Donna”: Lauren Marcus plays a character credited as “Donna”, who Miranda explains in this video is meant to be a stand-in for Victoria Leacock Hoffman. The fact the character is meant to represent such an important figure in Larson’s life, and is played by Lauren Marcus of all people, struck me as odd given she only has one line in “Boho Days” and isn’t even named onscreen. But then I noticed she appears a lot in the film: she’s following Jonathan around with a camera in a few scenes, she hands out playbills at the Superbia workshop, and she’s even talking to Karessa in the background of the last Moondance scene. That leads me to believe she originally had a much bigger role but was cut for time.

There is definitely at least one deleted scene where Donna is the focus of the camera: Lauren Marcus posted a photo (scroll right) of a monitor displaying a shot of her handing out playbills at NYTW (probably from the aforementioned deleted opening).

More of Jonathan Fleabagging the camera: In the stage musical, there are a bunch of moments where Jonathan turns to the audience in the middle of a scene to make some dry comment, usually in scenes involving Rosa or the focus group. In the movie he only does this during the focus group scene, but I think originally he was supposed to do this throughout the movie. Take a look at this blooper reel they released the other day, specifically the one of Andrew Garfield dumping a milkshake on his head. It may seem like he’ s just goofing off, but notice how the camera is already set up to capture his comment of “I say none of this” and it takes a moment for him to break: the milkshake is him goofing off, but he’s saying lines as scripted, with the appropriate shots planned by the director.

Speculative

More of Jelani Alladin as “David”: During Jonathan and Michael’s car ride, they briefly talk about Michael’s former partner “David”: it’s subtly implied that they broke up because of Michael’s HIV diagnosis. David is actually in the film: he’s sitting next to Michael in the final scenes at NYTW, played by Jelani Alladin. I suspect, given the fact someone like Jelani Alladin is playing a named character with significance to Michael and yet is never identified as such onscreen, David originally had a bigger role in the film that got cut.

That’s all I’ve got so far. Any ones you suspect or have caught on to? Let me know.

[hydraulicfluidinmyteapot]

Pirates of the Caribbean

This is an ask from @shrigma-male​, but i accidentally deleted the ask.. so sorry! I am high key excited to get an ask about this topic, as the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is probably one of my earliest animatronic centric obsessions. not only is it one of the earliest and most impressive feats of Imagineering, it also remains solid to this day. it houses a great many iconic animatronic figurines, all of which work together in perfect harmony to capture beautifully life filled scenes of a cohesive storyline. Its individual ride concept was so strong that it birthed a line of clones and even a famous movie franchise. isn’t that sick? a RIDE was the key source material for a whole movie series! but it’s unsurprising, with the time and care poured into the ride. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you think about it, the ride is JAM PACKED so there is a LOT to talk about. This will only be a super brief post information-wise, but who knows? There may be more to come if this performs well. Apologies, my life’s not going great at the moment and i don’t have a lot of spare time so this is not as high a quality as i would like it to be.

Here’s my fast fact file on it!

Debut: March 16, 1967

Withdrawal: All rides are still operating

Attraction: The Pirates of the Caribbean 

Locations: Disneyland, Magic Kingdom, Tokyo Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Shanghai Disney (but this one’s heavily modified)

Attraction Type: Dark ride

Riders Per Vehicle: 23–24

Number of vehicles:  50

Animatronics: 119 ish but it depends on the ride version

Ride videos: The entire ride varies from version to version and different people want to see different parts. i’m leaving you guys to find your own ride videos. it’s a very popular ride, just type on in to youtube and you’ll find heaps of nice high quality ones. 

The thing that stands out about this ride is the theming and the sheer amount of effort put in to creating an immersive environment. the ride houses an impressive 119 audio animatronics, 53 of which are animals. There are 630,000 gallons of water in the ride (original Disneyland) and takes three whole days to drain. there are over 40,000 gold coins in the treasure room scene alone. It holds what could possibly be considered Disney’s first themed restaurant which can be seen at the start of the ride. It is objectively one of the coolest things I’ve ever ridden. I want to call specific attention to the boat scene, where cannons fare at each other from opposite ships, creating glowing impacts and throwing water about. the first time I rode it it ensnared my attention and completely suspended my disbelief.The ride system is based on the one used in it’s a small world, due to that rides incredible success in debuting a boat-based transport system. Although I hate it’s a small world with a burning passion and refuse to write anything on it, I must be forced to admit that it did wonders as a test on how to create a good dark ride, emphasising key features such as a high rider capacity, boat-based transport system, and proving that animatronics are an incredibly attractive key event. Since the 60’s when it debuted, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride has gone through many changes throughout its location, including entire scenes being added and removed. but what it has maintained throughout its historic run time is its notoriety and splendour. the key change that I will bring up is the 2006 and 2007 renovations that include more theming from the very successful movie franchise. slightly unrelated, but the song “Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me” was actually first written for the ride. The rides are all being constantly updated in minor ways whether it’s slightly improving the animatronics, touching up background details or changing costuming. I’ll attach here a brief sort of timeline of the ride that I’ve whipped up here, but it only touches on the most notable modifications. sorry about how crap-tier it is..

Now, to talk more specifically about animatronics. The animatronics used on this ride are some of the earliest made by Disney. some are really quite basic, with their full range of motions being a singular full body action such as raising and lowering out of a barrel, but others move heads and arms in (sort of) lifelike actions. Some are newer, (specifically captain Jack Sparrow), but most are the original ones from the 60’s. One of my (and everyone’s tbh) favourites is the redheaded lady. She is (very originally) named Redd. Previously she was being sold off for auction, but in 2018 she was swapped to being an auctioneer. She has stunning red curls and a beautiful dress to match, and now holds a gun. here’s a little before and after.

 in the same refurbishment that changed her the mist screen in the tunnel before the fort battle was removed and replaced with a pirate in a cage who turns into a skeleton via an optical trick as well as an octopus playing with some medallions, along with the original 1967 narration about cursed treasure being restored. Her new version is based off none other than Anne Bonny herself (worth a google, she’s a fucking BOSS (like seriously!! Queer history icon!!! LOOK 👏 HER 👏 UP 👏 )) . She’s also displayed in dead man’s cove in a portrait, which I think is kinda neat. Her Paris version is completely silent, but the others yell about selling rum. Sadly I have never actually seen the new Redd in person, as I have only ridden the ride in Tokyo (where she is still being sold).

Now, the barker bird! oh how I love him so <3 he’s a little green pirate parrot, who spent his days crying about the ride. he was originally in the queue area but got kicked outside eventually to help deal with crowd control. he was then gotten rid of in 2006 in the big movie refurb. He was remarkably similar to the original barker bird who resided outside of the Enchanted Tikki Room; however, the pirate version has a peg leg, eye patch, tattoo on his chest and wondrously villainous hat. he was originally based off of Captain Flint, the parrot from Treasure Island. It is theorised that he has a skeletal clone inside the ride; the parrot belonging to “the Dirty Feet pirate”. 

When you first get on the ride, the first animatronic you come across is Old Joe. he is an animatronic character used in multiple different attractions, including Liberty Belle Riverboat, The Western River and Mark Twain Riverboat. in each version, he lives in a shack and is associated with the banjo. I say associated because it is actually a really common misconception that he actually plays the banjo. he does not, it is just a dark scene and there is banjo music playing around him. you can see the tip of his pipe glowing as you approach it in the ride, lit up alongside the fireflies. he is a small taste of what is to come.

Barbossa replaced the original pirate captain of The Wicked Wench in the boat battle scene in the mass movie renovation. he is my tied favourite with the redhead, as his dialog adds so much to the scene. his character moves in a beautiful fashion, lit up by a spotlight. His face is artfully painted, capturing what I believe to be the most human expression in the entire ride. His boat is fighting a Castillo del Morro fortress of Isla Tesoro, whilst busy searching for treasure and presumably captain jack sparrow. in 2011 his WDW version’s outfit was swapped over to his privateer uniform from On Stranger Tides, to keep the ride tied to the movies. What can be considered quite odd is that in Paris’s later renovation, the Captain did not replace the Wicked Wench captain, and was rather added in to a scene at the end of the ride, in the skeleton grotto. he is standing on the shipwreck beside the skeleton helmsman, carrying a lantern. 

The auctioneer. I don’t like him. greasy man. his eyes are wild. He’s originally voiced by Paul Frees (an icon, a legend) and is inspired by Captain Bartholomew Roberts (considered the most successful pirate in the golden age of piracy. He is also a pirate from the ship The Wicked Wench, and his auction is set up near a canteen called "La Cantina”. very creative. He was originally selling brides (human trafficking, not very snazzy) but now he sells chickens he stole from townspeople. however, this is unsuccessful. In the Paris version, instead of the chickens he is trying to sell a painting of Jean Laffite. Funnily enough, Jean is one of Disney’s sort of “stand in” pirate characters that they frequently just use whenever they need a pirate to slide in. Unfortunately, the auctioneer is always kept relatively up to date with the shiniest, newest technology that Disney can spare, and is always one of the most advanced figures on the ride. doesn’t deserve it, he’s slimy and I don’t like him. I should probably mention that he doesn’t actually have a name other than the auctioneer. There’s also a clone of him used in the haunted mansion for the duelling animatronics. loser. 

This is a very long post, so I shall cut it here. I will leave you with an image gallery, further reading and a possible promise of a part two if this post does well. Thank you!

(ok so i actually haven’t got any further reading gathered yet. give me like 6 hours and ill fix it in an edit. i promise. i just want to get this post out asap)

[goldenfawnwriting]

Birds Of a Feather- Part 16 Hawks Fic

Summary: Finch has been missing for over a month with no trace and Hawks is getting very nervous.

A/N: So I started writing this and had it halfway done two days ago but when I went to save it, it deleted it all so fuck me I guess lmao

Warnings: Angst, mentions of abuse, I think that's it.

It had been a month now. Finch had started wearing heavy eyeliner, foundation to cover her freckles. Menial things to try and evade the commission's dogs a little longer. She kept her wings wrapped up in bandages, telling the people she worked with at the small cafe that they had been burned badly beyond recognition and that they used to be a pinkish hued white.

When she got home every night to her much too expensive, tiny apartment, she unwrapped them, staring deadly at the fallen feathers. They were breaking off from the tight wrapping. She only threw them away, going about her usual showering and watching a bit of tv before going to bed. She had been doing alright for herself but she was going to have to go withdrawal more money soon. She sighed, she really was dreading having to do that. To go about withdrawaling money she would have to travel at least 50 to 100 miles away just to avoid tracing.

Which would just be annoying. The more she traveled the more of a chance someone would recognize her. She knew that, but she also knew she couldn't put it off for much longer.

Hawks on the other hand was pulling his hair out at the office. They wouldn't allow him to go search with the other people out looking for her. He was told to just sit still and look pretty and if anyone asked during interviews he was supposed to tell them that she was fine and just taking a break.

His mind was going off the wall. He had looked over the papers over and over and over and just couldn't find a lead no matter what. The last time she had taken money out it was in the city before she left. She must've gotten another phone, another number, cause her old phone was both missing and unresponsive. She probably turned it off and dumped it somewhere. He was at his wit's end.

"Mr. Hawks? They're asking for you in conference room three."

A petite, older woman called from his doorway. He huffed, running a hand over his face before setting the papers down on hid desk and standing from his chair. He glanced over at Finch's old desk, there was a thin settling of dust on everything and he grimaced. It had been so long. He just wanted her home.

He made his way to the conference room and knocked before entering, swinging open the door to enter. He was greeted with all the higher ups of the commission and he swallowed hard. What was going on?

"Hawks, nice of you to make it. We've missed you at the last couple meetings."

He only nodded to the man in the black suit.

"Why am I here?"

He questioned gruffly. He really didn't feel like another interview, let alone some menial publicity event.

"We have a new ping on her bank account. We want you to investigate."

Hawks snatched the papers from him violently, looking at the location and time. 4 minutes ago, about 58 miles away.

He could go now and get there in an hour. If she was moving under cover she wouldn't be flying so he could get there and still have about an hour to search before she would really be gone again. He didn't wait for them to say anything else, he took off out the window at the speed of light, pushing his wings to go as fast as he possibly could.

He made it in about 30 minutes, a new record for him. He was absolutely exhausted as he slowed down over the city it pinged from, flying around the perimeter before going inwards to look down on the sidewalks. He scanned and scanned and was upset to not come up with any brown wings strolling down main street. Not that he expected her too. As he continued looking he noticed an odd woman, looking up at him before tearing into the entrance of a store. Was she a criminal? He hummed but decided not to persue. He was here for one reason.

That's when it hit him. The bandaged appendages. He whipped around, flying back to the store and ripping the door open, searching it quickly before turning to an employee.

"Did you see a woman with bug bandaged wings?"

"U-uh she just went out the west entrance!"

He was running then, pushing through people before he spotted her again, running through the crowds away from him, trying to disappear into the people but he wouldn't allow that. He sprung up, using his wings to propel him over the crowd before coming down and grabbing her, tumbling them both to the ground.

"Let go of me!"

"Why were you running?!"

He huffed, getting her up and handcuffing her before getting them out of the crowd. He needed a more private place to talk. She thrashed, trying to get away. She knew she was screwed. He had found her and there was no way out of this. He was going to catch on to her at some point, why was she so surprised? Maybe because she thought she had disguised herself pretty well? Of course that would mean nothing to Keigo.

They entered a back alley where Hawks turned her around to face him, leaving the handcuffs on just to make sure she wouldn't run off.

"Finch?"

"W-who are you talking about?"

She tried to play dumb but she was way too nervous, fidgeting with her hands and looking off. She had never been a good liar.

"Stop playing stupid, where the hell have you been? Why did you go? Do you know how much everyone has been worrying? Asami, me, everyone at work!"

"Oh stop, I know no one at work missed me! You've probably had girls at your knees every day since I've been gone..."

He grabbed her chin and made her look at him, his thumb and index finger digging into her jaw and forcing it into an upward angle.

"Stop it Finch. I'm not kidding, where have you been. I've been killing myself trying to find you."

"I just wanted to get away..."

"Is this because I didn't say I love you back, because if thats the case-"

"That's not it! I just wanted to get away, I needed some time.."

"Ya and to stress out everyone who loves you. We thought you were dead Kore."

Her eyes were filling with tears and Hawks let his hand slip away from her jaw. Her short, choppy bob moved to veil her face as she looked down. He sighed and looked around, anywhere but her.

"What happened to you? Are you ok?"

"I'm fine..."

"What's going on with your wings?"

"Nothing, they're fine."

"Then unwrap them and let's go home, Asami has been up my ass-"

"No!"

There was a pause as he stared at her. No? He was dumbfounded. She wasn't going to come home?

"K-Keigo... I can't..."

"What do you mean?"

"C-can we go somewhere else to talk...?"

He nodded and uncuffed her, opting to grab her hand instead.

"My apartment is like sixty some miles away. Can we go there?"

She offered. He couldn't lie, he was curious about how she'd been living.

"Ya, that's fine. I'll follow you.."

He was appalled when she started walking.

"Wait- you're not gonna walk there right? Just fly..."

"I can't."

"What do you mean, you said they're fine-"

She turned, undoing the bandages to unwrap her wings. When she finally let the bandages drop his jaw went slack, his eyes wide. Her feathers slowly were falling out, molting if you will.

"It's from keeping them wrapped, almost all of them are gone. I can't fly without feathers..."

"You haven't been flying this entire time?"

He whispered. He was almost brought to tears. Her wings, once so beautiful, were so hideous now, marled and torn apart.

"No. If I flew people would see me. And I couldn't just let the colour be known, you guys have been reporting every fucking second of the day."

She growled. He reached out, his fingers nearly grazing the broken feathers before she ripped her wings away, folding them up.

"If you want to come let's go, I'm not waiting around forever."

He blinked away the shock before sighing and following her lead. He hated walking through cities. He always got wayyy too much attention.

[creek-cryptid-deluxe]

Y'all. I may have just stumbled upon something absurd & a little disturbing.

Ok, so we all know that there are people online who will chat up people through games like Word with Friends, then get you to chat with them on Whatsapp or the like, using fake names & stolen pictures, with the end game of scamming you, right? Right.

My dad likes to fuck with these scammers by which I mean he will get me to verify if their pics are stolen, & if they are he talks to them, trying to see how long he can string them along without giving them anything. It's basically a game of chicken to see who gets bored & fucks off first.

It's annoying because it means his phone goes off CONSTANTLY & he always immediately grabs it, even if we are in the middle of something. Plus, when we go to the park, I have his phone because he can't play & walk the dogs at the same time, so I end up seeing all these messages come in talking about how they love him & he's so wonderful despite them all only having spoken to him online for like a month.

It's some real high school shit.

Well today I got on his Amazon account to order some stuff.

(Why, Dr. Morrissey? Don't you have an Amazon account. Well, dear reader, I did but after 3 hours of arguing with customer support about some dumb shit, I deleted it because fuck that.)

Anyway, I order my digital drawing pad (yay!), a lap desk, & some other odds & ends. I go to check out & see a gift card balance. Like a significant amount. Obviously I don't use it. It's not mine. So I go a bit later to the area where you track orders so I can have an idea of when to look for them & notice a gift card ordered today... and a couple days ago... I scroll back a bit more. There are like 2-3 gift cards for $100 & 4-5 for $50, all with notes that have my dad's name & a message like "i love you sweetheart" or some shit like that.

I asked him about it via text & he was just like "weird. I dunno." So I asked him if he was scamming the scammers & he just text back "lol it's alright. Don't worry about it."

So either he is turning the tables OR this idiot is getting romantically entangled with random internet hoes.

That second one is feasible since he's been married (and divorced) 6 times & is a serial monogamoust. He is incapable of dating. It's always immediate serious relationship with I love yous within the first month, marriage within 6. And 2 of those wives were in a prison pen pal program, so they met him while incarcerated (one of them was in for trying to hire a hitman to take out her LAST HUSBAND) via letters. They were both in prison for the entirety of the relationship/marriage.

So you see why this is a very serious option.

Fucksake.

Don't fucking reblog this. Get your own pathetic father who has no self respect. If you don't have to deal with the problem, you don't get blog posts about it.

[rgrettes]

heyy, I hope I'm not bothering but I've seen that you used to post about faberry and faberry fics like Shafd, and since I'm trying to find some faberry fanfics to read, could you please recommend me some of your favorites? Thank you :)

OKAY so this took me a whole lot longer than anticipated because I didn’t want to make it be like 500 fics long! But here, in no particular order, are my top 10 faberry fanfics! [excluding SHAfD of course bc whomever asked this definitely knows SHAfD!]I will be including trigger warnings/content warnings! Please be sure that you can handle the subjects before reading the content! Be safe and put your mental and physical wellbeing before a work of fiction!

10. Dirty Little Secret by patchesofink

Chapters: 77/77 [208k]

This fic would actually happen to be the first faberry fic that I ever read. I felt my little 15 year old self cry several times throughout this fic. It’s what first got me into writing fanfic, because I wanted to write as well as this author! There is a content warning so please be careful reading it if you are sensitive to topics mentioned!

Rachel has a secret and Quinn has figured it out - but will Quinn use this knowledge to exact revenge on Rachel for telling Finn that Puck was really the father or will she use her own experiences to help. WARNING - language and sexual content, r*pe.

9. I’ll Be by stix04

Chapters: 20/20 [330k]

God I was such a sucker for fake dating au’s as a young teenager and I’m most definitely a sucker for them now. This one I didn’t read right when it came out, I didn’t actually find it until it had finished but it still makes my top 20 because it’s just too good not to talk about!

Can Quinn pretend to be in love with Rachel just to get out of Lima? Can Rachel pretend to love Quinn so she's not so lonely in New York? And what happens when both girls realize they're no longer pretending?

8. Long Way to Happy by patchesofink 

Chapters: 42/42 [104k]

This is the sequel to Dirty Little Secret and makes the list for being just as good as the original. This author is so talented and the story just resonates in my soul! 

warnings for sexual content, language, violence and potential ptsd triggers!

Sequel to Dirty Little Secret. Rachel still has some healing to do as well with dealing with becoming a mom. Quinn has her own issues to deal with. Can their fledgling relationship deal with the ups and downs of life and cope with senior year? Quinn learns to open up and Rachel deals with motherhood and not letting her past define her. It's a Long Way to Happy.

7. Leather Jackets and Bad Coffee by antonius

Chapters: 11/?? [75k] [has not updated since 2018 :(]

Bikers, 50′s style diners, and good girl/bad girl pairing. Literally who could ask for anything more? I’m super sad this one hasn’t updated in a long time but it’s still such a fun read!!

warning for violence!

Ninety miles and nearly two hours from the heart of New York City, just off of PA-33 North, is the little town of Belfast, Pennsylvania: population 1,257. Right outside the city limits sits Moe's, a small 24-hour diner whose newest waitress, Rachel Berry, has taken her best friend Kurt's advice and started a calm summer temp job away from the hustle-and-bustle of busy city life in order to rest up before her final year at NYADA.During her very first midnight shift, she encounters a group of rowdy regulars led by a pink-haired woman with piercing hazel eyes. Quinn Fabray is the leader of the Skanks, a small but well-known local biker gang that doesn't take shit from anyone.So began the strangest summer of Rachel Berry's life.

6. Talk by saintdyke

Chapters: 17/? [43k] [last updated may 2019]

This is another one I’m sad hasn’t updated in a while! This honestly stole my heart to a point that in the time I found it in mid April 2019 and June of 2019 I have re-visited the fic 105 times, rereading it at least half as many as that. I’m really hoping the author comes back to the fic, because it was keeping me on the edge of my seat.

warning for violence, abuse mentions and depictions, homophobia and ptsd triggers!

(Previously titled Grease Stains, Starry Skies) Famous actress Rachel Berry’s car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. A pretty blonde with a blue truck rescues her from the side of the road, and just so happens to own an Auto Repair shop in town. Quinn is frustrating and mysterious, and Rachel is just as stubborn. Together, they start a revolution.

5. Just off the Key of Reason by iamapanda

Chapters: 30/30 [129k]

This one is another absolute classic in the Faberry fandom, and is another fic that has stuck with me throughout the years! It has a fantastic softer take on Quinn that I truly appreciated because everyone back in the early years of the fandom would make her so angry and bitter and she’s just so soft in some interpretations

Rachel Berry is a successful Broadway star with a new roommate, the very odd, naive Quinn Fabray. It starts with a note on the fridge and a childishly scrawled doodle of an elephant. Everybody has a little crazy in them.

4. Still off the Key of Reason by iamapanda

Chapters: 37/37 [185k]

The sequel to Just off the Key of Reason! Still as soft and as crazy! I can’t mention one without having the other in the list as well! I can’t explain how it feels to look at the ff.net pages after so long, my heart is transported back to 2011 and I’m sitting on my bed after I’m supposed to be in bed. I miss the days where I could just spend time reading these fics and not having adult responsibilities.

Quinn is thundering her way through vet school. Rachel is enlightening the west coast with her talent. The story continues with a wedding, dogs in tuxedos, and Pooh Bear vows. Crazy never fades.

3. A Million Miles of Fun by Jade8Devlin

Chapters: 12/12 [103k]

This one is a little different from the last ones! It isn’t my favorite because of its literary genius, but because of how fun and out there it is! It’s concept is fresh and dark and something I honestly didn’t expect to see but it quickly grew to be a favorite for me!

warning for violence, abuse, mentions of murder! the whole story revolves around The Unholy Trinity + Rachel murdering Quinn’s family so please take that into consideration!

And in Lima, Ohio, a man and woman were killed earlier today during what is believed to be a home invasion. Russell Fabray was last seen leaving Gas'N'Go at two o'clock; his wife, Judith, from a grocery story an hour earlier. Police are linking the double homicide to the area's recent surge in breaking and entering – though these appear to be the first fatalities. The victims are survived by their daughters; Quinn and Stacey."Jessalyn Briggs shuffles the papers on her desk, clearing her throat. The somber expression on her face seems to float off her as she turns towards camera 3."Otis-the-Otter finishes today's news headlines as the little critter that could. Abandoned by his mother and found foraging for scraps in the Nelson family's garbage cans, Otis has proven; if you can't teach an old dog new tricks, teach them to an otter! Otis placed second at this year's Ohio Dog Show after last year's well-documented struggle by the Nelson family to allow Otis to be included. Well done Otis, we here at Channel 43 salute you.

2. The Silence of Silence by your.kat

Chapters: 31/31 [135k]

This one... I can’t describe why I liked it, I just liked it.

warning for mental health, and trauma [possible others, please read with caution]

Quinn and Rachel meet at Haverbrook under unusual circumstances. Why is Rachel silent? And why does Quinn care? "You can hear," Quinn said simply, "but can you speak?"; "Yes," Rachel signed. "I can speak. But silence is a friend who will never betray."

1. Kissing Quinn Fabray by vondrunkaton

Chapters: 6/6 [45k]

This one just makes me super warm and fuzzy inside. I don’t think I can say it’s entirely changed my life but it’s just so soft and i love it

Quinn comforts Rachel after Finn says something oafish. Rachel is surprised by how sweet Quinn is. There's also some making out in delicious detail. Fluffy getting together fic.

I am super open to talking about more fics I love/like and other pairings! This was a ton of fun to talk about and sent me down memory lane! I went searching for two hours on a vague memory of a fic that I think has been deleted by now. But if anyone wants to help me track it down! Hit me up and I’ll give you the details!

[bogosbintedthealien]

It’s An Odd Feeling

I only found out about Unus Annus on the 6th of this month, but let me tell you. Binging 50+ hours of content in that time was such a wide ride, in fact I didn’t get a chance to watch the last 13 videos (3ish-4ish hours) before the stream went live. 

I downloaded them onto my PC, but it’s only for me to watch tomorrow and then delete them. As it should be. 

But sitting here for the 12 hours of that stream? 

Man, I can’t quite describe the feeling. 

I wasn’t here since the beginning, and I didn’t even know who Ethan was. I barely knew stuff about Mark and have seen only a handful of his vids over the years. 

But doing nothing but watching their channel for a little over a week was... I don’t know. I feel like a got to know these people, I feel like I got the message they tried to spell out, drilled into my brain. I laughed and at the end...I didn’t cry. 

I feel like I have creative burnout. But it isn’t. I have creative thoughts flow through me right now. It’s an odd feeling. I just have this...tiredness? Is it grief? For what? A YouTube channel I nearly completed in time? 

I don’t know. It just feels new. It hits different. I feel like I have seen the first and last performance of a person who no longer exists. 

And it’s an odd feeling.

[a-tired-leftie-carnation]

50 questions tag!

i got tagged by @watttine, thank uuu so muccch !!!

what color is your hairbrush?: black.

name a food you never eat: i mean, i don't like mushroom or olives, but i eat them out of necessity. so i’d say pepper, i don't think i've ever eaten pepper actually.

are you typically too warm or too cold?: too warm for sure, i even blush super easily and all that.

what were you doing 45 minutes ago?: house chores lol.

what’s your favourite candy bar?: kit kat or m&m’s (the peanut ones).

have you ever been to a professional sports game?: nope.

what’s the last thing you said out loud?: “they were so loud and annoying” because like im with my friend and i was telling her about that one time my cousin picked me up from the train station and there’s just been a football game around so the drivers were all honking and screaming and singing and uh, too loud.

what’s your favourite ice cream?: i’d usually eat like forest fruits & mango or snickers & banana.

what was the last thing you had to drink?: water probably.

do you like your wallet?: i’m still young, so i don't carry a wallet with me yet skdnsdj but i do have one in my drawer, and yeah i like it.

what’s the last thing you ate?: i just cut some apples so.

did you buy any new clothes last weekend?: i haven't bought any clothes since december lmao. (so nope)

what’s the last sporting event you watched?: i don't really watch tv but i think it’d be the ski competition i saw in january lol.

what is your favourite flavor of popcorn?: caramel.

who’s the last person you sent a text to?: @pastel-butnotreally-angel hehe.

ever go camping?: i went in 9th grade during a school trip, yup.

do you take vitamins?: not really.

do you go to church every sunday?: nope, i’m a full-time atheist. (i read the question and wanted to delete your answer but then i was like “oh same, lets just change it up a bit” lol)

do you have a tan?: nope, i avoid tanning as much as possible.

do you prefer chinese or pizza?: imma say pizza, tho I do love noodles too. (but like i prefer japanese over chinese - random info)

do you drink soda through a straw?: i don’t drink soda actually.

what color socks do you usually wear?: black usually.

do you ever drive above the speed limit?: i’m 17 lol.

what terrifies you?: not being sensitive enough of people’s emotions I guess??

look to your left, what do you see?: my friend~

what chore do you hate the most?: ironing, i think.

what do you think of when you hear an australian accent?: i freaking love it, so like if i were to think of a person, i’d say rose from bp or felix from skz.

what’s your favourite soda?: i used to like sprite the most. (because of some book i read lol)

do you go in fast food places or just hit the drive thru?: i ain’t driving so. (though i don't eat much fast food either)

what’s your favourite number?: i used to like even numbers, but i’m kinda through with them lol. (so odd numbers like 7 or 5 mostly - not 3 tho, i don't like 3)

who’s the last person you talked to?: i’m talking with my friend and sister right now so, they’re the ones!

favourite cut of beef?: i don’t eat beef tho.

last song you listened to?: well my friend was listening to “bim bam toi” by carla just now, though like - voluntarily - i last listened to “my favourite clothes” by rini.

last book you read?: it’s probably “when the earth was flat - all the bits of science we got wrong” by graeme donald or “jfk 22.11.1963″ by stephen king, i've been alternatively reading them both lol.

can you say the alphabet backwards?: i’m writing this like 5 min later because me and my friend actually tried and failed (so no, i can’t), though my sister succeded !!

favourite day of the week?: friday afternoons are the most nicest ones~

how do you like your coffee?: i don’t drink coffee at home, but i’d usually drink latte with salted caramel. (at times when there is indeed a coffee shop around, since my town doesn’t have a proper one)

favorite pair of shoes?: i have 2 pairs of boots i love, basically.

time you normally get up?: at 7am during week days and like 8:30am-9am in the weekend.

sunrise or sunsets?: sunset, i love those warm colours sm.

how many blankets on your bed?: i got only one, pal.

describe your kitchen plates?: they’re like plain yellow/purple/grey ones mostly.

describe your kitchen at the moment?: i guess it’s quite clean?? though i’m not responsible for it so???

do you have a favourite alcoholic drink?: sweet red wine or redberries strongbow.

do you play cards?: well i do play at get-togethers or like sleepovers, but that’s about it.

what color is your car?: i mean my father’s car is grey, but i do not have one.

can you change a tire?: no, i can’t.

your favourite state/province/county/etc?: imma guess they mean “cities” - okay. my favourites (which i visited) would be bucharest or cluj-napoca or venice, though i’m in awe over cities like vienna, lisabona, berlin, dublin or skt. petersburg.

favourite job you’ve had?: i haven’t had a job yet, though i surely know how to pour vodka and make a profit outta it. lol im half-ass joking but like i used to work in my parents’ shop for hours throughout 1st-4th grade (like they would leave me alone and all that, serious stuff) (it was a supermarket so we would sell cigs and alcoholic drinks).

how did you get your biggest scar?: lol story time again, but basically my mother did it. so i was baking a cake for my sister’s birthday, as one does. and i was holding a plastic bag so my mom can pour some melted chocolate into it. what we didn’t take into account was that the plastic would melt lmao and oops it went through and burnt my ankle. it’s like a 30cm squared 2nd degree burn.

i’m tagging @pastel-butnotreally-angel, @lemonmilkk, @darkthestars, @palpitating-procrastination and @hisaka (though it’s indeed long asf so no pressure to do it)(but i enjoyed it owo)

[aestheticvoyage2020]

Day 229: Sunday August 16, 2020 - “Branch of Ancient Kings”

Some kind of ancestral bender sucked me in tonight as I decided to search into one of those unexplored lines, only to find a long line of kings reaching to year 006.   Funny to think of the day that started with no idea of the discovery laying ahead.  When I started this ancestral track 7 months ago, I hoped to learn more about my immediate ancestors, learn the 16 lines that led to me, and maybe confirm the connection to the unaccountable connection Ive long felt to the Scottish heritage.  Months later, I believed that I had tapped out on all there was to find in the Acton-Williams tree, until today, when I decided to do some deep diving over a hockey game, on my 10th great grandfather that I had read about having been buried in Westminister Abbey - “there must be more to that story” I thought....  8 hours later, it felt like my eyes were bleeding as I rebuilt it for a second time to be sure, after having followed it back to the year 006, in a line of 50+ kings, leaving me stunned, excited, and exhausted. Kings of Dal Raida, High Kings of Ireland, Princess of England?  What had I stumbled into?   Buried in that Graham line of my Great Grandma Near, a connection to the ancient kings of Scotland, Ireland and England. I called AC in the middle of the night to wake her with what I found (she was less enthusiastic than me).  In my digging of this connection to the Magna Carta, crept up a descendancy to William Dunkeld, The Lion, King of Scotland.  Of all the places to land, if any, into any royalty, in my ancestral digging.....unbelievable; the irony was not lost on me, without looking for it.   His war banner?  A red rampant lion, on a yellow field, a signal of Scottish fierceness that I flew proudly on the back of my Prius as I set out in 2014 in my Grand Ramble and only recently, peeled off cautiously to move to my Yeti to keep....  

What in the world???   I know, right? Wait wait wait.  Back up. What just happened.

After building the line all the way out to 006, I deleted it to build it again to be doubley sure.  This odd fascination Id always had towards Scottish bagpipes, red heads, and the feeling of being a part of some culture that included haggus....and wait, what?  Ancient Kings?  The Lion?  Magna Carta? and on? Its in my blood -- not tangentially but directly?

I got 3 hours of sleep this night.  and only 4 hours the next night. I became obsessed. I learned a ton.  66 Great Grandfathers take you back to the time of Christ.  Before tonight Id gotten back to the 1300s, and Id thought that was cool.  And then I linked into a time warp; of wars and conflicts, and arranged marriages, and great grandfathers nicknamed with the likes of Ironside, Un-Ready, and Mad-man, linking Scotland and England and back and forth.

An attractive 28th Great Grandmother was a Saint,(Margaret) who led me down a line of Kings of England to a sister of a Roman Emperor.  On and on and on it went, for a second night in a row.  The story of time in England and Scotland became the story of my ancestry and I couldnt hardly believe.  I learned of the Stone of Destiny, and found Fergus, the founder of modern Scotland, was led to believe that I was a direct descendant of that great story of life. It reminded me of that Edgar A. Guest poem my Grandma Acton read to me about how all the greatest have had, you have in you too.  I tempered the findings knowing that of course if we go far enough back we’re all going to link into something important or famous - survival of the fittest right?   But with all that being considered - the fact that in my wildest dreams, I would have never considered a finding to a direct hit into the ancient kings of Scotland, after long having this unexamined fascination with my Scottish heritage... not much else would have been as surprising or exciting, without even looking for it.  For days afterward,Id be filled with awe and trying to make quadrupley sure on all the connections..  It doesnt do anything to change or impact my own life, my story - though it does cement a sense of pride and belonging in life’s bigger story.  Does it get me any extra favor with Audrie? Probably not....  but it does fill me with excitement to pass on the story of this long lineage to whatever comes of our own Actingham line - of these two scotsman that wore their clan on their wedding day, walked down the aisle to bagpipes, over fork over, to find later that their kin would be the 26th great grandson of WIlliam The Lion, and the next in a long, stretched line of Scotsman, from a far.   Auld Lang syne - we raise a cup of kindness yet - to the giants we stand on.

Song: John Prine - I Remember Everything

Quote: “The timeless in you is aware of life's timelessness. And knows that yesterday is but today's memory and tomorrow is today's dream.” ― Khalil Gibran

[eldritchsurveys]

898.

5k Survey XXV

1201. Have you ever owned a record? >> Yeah, I own several records. 1202. In some states people want to make it a requirement that creationism (god made the world) be taught alongside evolution in high school sciences classes. What do you think of this? >> I don’t think it should be a requirement. I think the current evolution-based curriculum should be standardised, and teaching about the fact that creationism is a concept is something a teacher can do, if they’re so inclined to present that side of things. Even then, since creationism is not a true theory that has been subjected to the rigors of the scientific method and found viable, it’s technically not on-subject for a science class. So. 1203. Should evolution also be taught in religious establishments like church or temple? >> If the function of a religious establishment is to perpetuate the beliefs of that faith, and evolution doesn’t count as a belief of said faith, then there’s no point? That’s just not what a religious establishment is for. Now, if we’re talking about religious schools, then I guess it’d depend on whether it’s publicly or privately funded. I imagine you can make a publicly-funded religious school use the same curriculum as the public schools, but good luck getting that to fly in a privately-funded institution. In which case, like it or not, they get to teach what they want. 1204. Can a person believe in creationism and in evolution at the same time? >> I don’t know. There are a lot of seemingly-opposite ideas that a person can hold in their minds at the same time without their head exploding, but I’m not too sure truly believing in creationism would also allow one to recognise the validity of evolution. Or vice versa. 1205. You obviously like surveys since you are filling out a 5,000 question one. Do any of the following surveys sound interesting: The Doors/Jim Morrison Survey: They all sound interesting (except the WTC one, like, what...?), I just wouldn’t take all of them. Moving on. The David Bowie Survey: The Beatles Survey:  The Rocky Horror Survey: The Labyrinth Survey: The SLC Punk Survey: The birthday survey:  So this is love, the survey:  The heartache/break up survey:  Creationism vs. Evolutionism Survey: Opinion Survey: World Trade Center Survey: Halloween Survey:  Survey of Sin:  How evil are you? Survey: The Roaring 20’s Survey: Well, once, long ago, I created all those surveys. Now they are floating around in people’s diaries because the diary I had them in (Simply Surveys) was deleted due to disuse. >> Moving on.

1206. Who did you get this survey from? Say one nice thing about the person you got this survey from: >> Another survey-taker is taking it and I’m copying it from her blog. She seems like a friendly person. 1207. Here is a list of priorities… Love/sex Family Close friends School/learning Job/career Being true to yourself/self respect Honesty Aesthetics (beauty in the world) Creativity Patriotism Knowledge Wisdom Leading an exciting life Making a contribution to humanity Being rich Being famous Having power Justice/fairness World peace Accepting and understanding others Finding yourself Spirituality/religion Health Happiness What are your top three priorities from this list? >> Being true to myself, health, wisdom. 1208. Out of that same list what are your BOTTOM 3 priorities? >> Being rich, being famous, having power. 1209. How many hours of TV do you watch in an average day? >> 1 or 2 hours. Exceptions would be days like today, when I binge 6 episodes of a show in a row because they finally added the latest season to Netflix and I was excited off my ass. 1210. Do you want to have a car, a house and 2.5 kids? >> The house would be fine, I suppose, but I don’t care about the other shit. 1211. What song, CD, or band is a ‘guilty pleasure’ for you (meaning you know it sucks but you like it anyway)? >> There’s no such thing for me. I don’t even understand what “you know it sucks but you like it anyway” is supposed to mean. Either I like something or I don’t. 1212. If you were going to vote for a candidate for president and then you found out that the person you were going to vote for is HIV positive would that effect your vote and why? >> No. 1213. Have you ever had an HIV test? >> Yes. 1214. What time do you: Get up in the morning: Any time between 6.30a and 9a. Eat lunch: I don’t have dedicated meal times. Do something active during the day: If I don’t do it in the morning, shortly after waking, it doesn’t get done. Go to bed: Any time between 10p and 12a. 1215. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? >> I’ve ridden on them many times. 1216. When you hear the word ‘biker’ what kind of person do you think of? >> A person in leathers who rides a motorcycle. 1217. Did your parents ever talk to you about sex? >> No. 1218. If your pet dies, you can now have it cloned for $50,000. How do you feel about this? >> This doesn’t interest me in the slightest. Also, where the fuck am I getting 50 grand? 1219. Are you or would you be embarrassed about buying condoms? >> I was never embarrassed about condoms. 1220. Do any of your clocks make an odd noise or play a song when the hour strikes? >> No. 1221. What are the things that make you go 'Hmmmm….’ (remember that song?)? >> I don’t remember that song. 1222. Are you a sinner? >> I imagine I would be if I subscribed to a worldview that included sin. 1223. Are you naughty or nice? >> --- 1224. Is belly-dancing sexy? >> It is. It’s also just pretty, and skillful. 1225. What celebrity would you love to be able to dance with? >> --- 1226. What is your favorite comic book movie? >> I don’t have one. Black Panther and Thor Ragnarok were cool. 1227. What movie would you recommend for couples to watch on Valentine’s day? >> --- 1228. Besides when you were little how many people have seen you completely naked and who? >> Quite a few people have. Not even necessarily in sexual contexts. 1229. Is sex something that should be treated casually? >> If that suits you, then sure. It doesn’t suit me, so I don’t treat it casually. 1230. Have you ever participated in an orgy? If no, would you ever consider it? >> No. I’ve considered it in the past, but I’m just not interested in outworld sex of any kind at this time. 1231. What song is in your head right now? >> The Shameless theme song, because I spent half the day watching that and the song is catchy. 1232. What was the best day of your life like? >> --- 1233. What are you all about? >> --- 1234. You have won a contest where you get all these great prizes but you can only keep one for yourself and must give the others away to friends, family or whoever. Which one do you keep and who do you give the rest to: A $5,000 gift certificate to radio shack: A brand new yellow jeep: An all expense paid vacation for 2 to Italy: Lunch with N'Sync: A lifetime supply of herbal essences shampoo: A $1,000 check: A palm pilot? An autographed picture of Shakira: Breakfast with kid rock: A shirt once worn by Jonathan Davis: One round of mini-golf with Sharon Osbourne: A phone call from Robert Smith: A brand new washer/dryer: Free medical insurance for 1 year: 1235. Who do you think you might have known in a past life? >> --- 1236. Do you take vitamins? >> No. I probably should. 1237. Do you prefer fake or real flowers around the house? >> I don’t care about having flowers around the house at all. 1238. Sometimes roses are pink, yellow, white or red. If you give someone a rose, does its color change the meaning behind it as a gift? >> If you know flower language, yeah. If you don’t, then I guess it’s just about colour preference. 1239. What’s the most deadly thing you can think of? >> Death. 1240. To-MAY-toes or to-MA-toes? >> I say it the former way. 1241. Out of all your friends, family and the people you know who is the most: Intelligent: Happy:  Miserable: Easily influenced: Cranky:  Bitchy:  Evil:  Nice:  1242. What’s the best live musical performance you ever saw? >> The only live musical performance I’ve seen is Phantom of the Opera, but I gotta say if that’s the only one I ever get to see, then that’s fine because it was amazing.

1243. Have you ever had a 'pregnancy scare’? >> Yes. 1244. Kelly Osbourne or Madonna’s version of “Papa Don’t Preach”? >> I’ve only heard Madonna’s. Or, I only remember hearing Madonna’s. Either way. 1245. Can you change a tire? >> Yeah. 1246. Have you ever put your fist through a wall? >> Nearly. 1247. When do you feel the most relaxed and able to be yourself? >> When I’m at home in my room and not having an emotional flashback or overload or whatever. 1248. Do you have a place that is your own where you won’t show anyone else? >> No. Not for a lack of desire, though. I just don’t know any place that I can keep that private. 1249. Are you a part of any teams or clubs? >> No. 1250. Is cheerleading a sport? >> It fits the profile to me.

[fanficsrusz]

My collection - part three John wick AU

A/n: ahhh the calm before the storm. *evil laugh* im also going to start work on a masterlist soon 👍

Masterlist

________________________________________The downpour had stopped but y/n could still smell the rain in the air as she made her way out of the house and towards college. As she walked down the driveway where her car should be, she pulled out her phone and began to make the calls needed in order to get her car fixed.

Finishing the call quickly, she finally looked up and across the street. Johns car was not in the driveway and y/n relaxed her shoulders as chances of seeing him in the early morning reduced. She didn't care where he was and had no intention of finding out and so began the walk towards college taking in the scenery around her, letting all her stress melt away.

Arriving at college she saw the mechanic at her car already at work and jogged over to him. He was an elderly gentlemen but he had a soft face, a face that held wisdom and stories of his past experiences. He reminded her of her father. "hi. Hows shes doing" y/n beamed referring to the car. The mechanic stood up and gave her a puzzled look. "miss have you been playing with the car?" the man gave her a concerned look and y/n was confused. "what? No? Why would i play with it?" she asked peering over his shoulder to look at the cars inside. The mechanic looked back to the car before replying "well you see these wires have been pulled out quite forcefully. This was no accident and honestly ive only ever seen this one other time and that was at a crime scene" the mechanic half joked and y/n looked at the wires in his hand and just stood there as her thoughts raced "can you fix it?" y/n asked "miss i can fix just about anything" the guy chuckled but was met with silence. "good. I'm going to be in there so just call when you're done" she pointed to the building "will do" the old man said resuming his work once again.

Making her way into the school she walked into the reception office, she approached the young lady sitting at the desk. "hi. My name is y/n and i was just wondering if you have CCTV in the car park? You see my car was vandalised yesterday and i just want to see if they were caught on camera" the girl looked up at y/n and smiled kindly. "sure. I'll just get the security guard for you" and with that the girl left the room before returning moments later with a tall man who looked like he could work for the mafia with how big his muscles were. "follow me" the security guard said and led her into a small room at the back before sitting down at various monitors. He began to press random buttons before he stopped. The screen played back the scenes of yesterday and y/n watched herself pull into the carpark and get out. The sense of deja vu hit hard. The video continued playing as he slowly fast forwarded showing various people walking about but that's when the screen went black. "what happened?" y/n asked "I don't know" the guard began to click around the screen "its as if someone has deleted the footage" he stopped "i'm sorry i can't help you". Y/n sighed and grabbed her head "it's fine thank you for trying" and began to walk out. 'What the hell was going on?' y/n thought as she walked slowly down the hall towards the library.

Sitting down at one of the desks y/n rummaged through her bag to find her planner but couldn't find it she stopped rummaging through her bag, trying to remember where she had left it. "i believe you are looking for this" the voice said quietly and the book was held in front of her. Y/n looked up and there stood Dr. Wick im one of his various suits, a smirk tugging at his lips. Y/n had begun to hate his face and how he always seemed to know where she was and what she was doing but she couldn't bring herself to be rude. "thank you" y/n muttered before attempting to grab the book from his hand before it was suddenly pulled away. "you know you should really take better care of your things. Who knows what could happen to the things you love or whose hands they could fall into." there was a sinister undertone to his voice which y/n picked up. It was as if he was talking about something else. "Joh…. Dr Wick can i please have my planner back i've got work to do" john turned around and stood in front of her "of course you can my dear" and john handed her the book, the word 'dear' lingering in y/ns ears a little to long making her feel queasy.

As y/n took the book from him, she accidentally grazed his hand with hers and john's eyes went wide as if she had just told him the best news in the world. John walked out the library without another word. 'what the hell is up with that guy' y/n pondered on the though trying to decode his words and actions before her attention was pulled to a group of guys walking into the library. She recognised them, they were tom's friends. She waited as the group sat down but there was no tom. She slowly stood up to make her way towards them to find out where tom was but stopped when a thought entered her head 'you know what, no. He obviously doesn't care or he wouldn't of left' and with that y/n sat down and began working on various assignments.

The school day ended with not much else happening apart from the most uncomfortable lesson with Dr. Wick which was spent with him staring at y/n at every opportunity he had. It was as if he was taking in every detail of the girl. Y/n shuddered at the thought of John's eyes on her every movement as she made her way over to her car. There was a little note on the windscreen. 'your car is fixed. Please come in store or pay online.' y/n smiled and put the note in her pocket before driving home making a mental note about making sure to pay later on.

Pulling into the driveway she noticed that John's car was still not there. She began to gather her things from the seat next to her but her planner caught her attention. On the back of the book was a small red stain. She brought it closer to her face for inspection. Was it juice? Or…… "omg" y/n breathed out. Blood. A sudden knocking at the car window caused y/n to jump and hit her head on the roof. She looked over as she held her head and saw an old man stood there. She climbed out of the car. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you," he said, "no it's fine" y/n replied rubbing the spot she hit, a nice bruise forming "can I help you?" she replied standing up straight. "yes. My name is lucas im the landlord. My grandson tom said he was coming here last night but he never returned and he didn't show up for school. Have you seen him" the man was obviously panicking. y/n felt guilt shoot through her as she began to tell him the events of last night. " yhh tom came here and we watched a movie together before falling asleep but he was gone when I woke up. I assumed he went home". The man looked down as he breathed heavily. "ok thank you. Im going to have to report him missing." and just like that the man walked off down the street.

Y/n began to worry as she stood there. What could have happened to him? Where could he have gone?. The roar of the familiar mustang broke her train of thought and john pulled into the driveway before getting out. He had dirt and bruises all over his face and was walking with a limp. It looked like he had gone 50 rounds with a boxer. As john caught her gaze he faced her completely and waved. Y/n ignored him and ran inside the house making sure to lock the door behind her. She looked through the spy whole and saw him stand there for a few seconds before making his way inside. She sighed a sign if relieve. She did not want to talk to him if she could avoid it. The weird vibe he emitted only got stronger with each passing moment and it was as if she was the only one who noticed the mans odd behaviour.

Y/n shook her head before beginning to go about her nightly routine.

A few hours later the sky was dark and y/n was sat in front of the TV with a bowl of pasta in hand ready to drown herself in friday night tv. She changed the channel to the news and was greeted with a picture of toms face. She put the bowl down next to her and proceeded to turn the volume up as the news presenter continued her story.

"....... Local student Tom Bishop has been reported missing after failing to return home after visiting a friend……" that last bit made y/n feel so guilty and she held her face in her hands. ".... This report comes after 4 young women went missing less that 20 miles away." y/n looked up at the 4 pictures displayed on the screen. Each of them looked similar in appearance and similar to y/n but she didn't really take much notice of the pictures, only focusing on the fact that Tom was missing and she couldn't help but feel responsible. "... It is not yet known if the cases are linked, however, Police are warning people to lock doors and windows and be careful. If you have any information about any of the people shown tonight, please contact the police. The weather for this…..". Y/n turnt the tv off and stood up just as she heard a noise come from across the street and there stood john pulling random things out of his trunk. Y/n moved closer to the window to get a better look. Her eyes went wide. The jacket tom was wearing when they first met was in his hands. Y/n moved back slightly as john turned around and he saw her. She was sure he had a dark red stain down his normally pristine shirt. He smirked and Y/n quickly pulled the curtains closed in an attempt to look as if she saw nothing.

Closing her eyes she tried to clear her mind. "im being stupid. Why would he have toms jacket?" y/n opened her eyes again looking at the clock in the room. It clocks hand showed 11pm. Y/n had been awake for so long. "im just seeing things. Im just tired. " y/n laughed at the attempts to put a logic explanation to what she saw "yepp just seeing things". Y/n made her way up to her room and got into bed. As she laid down her brain wouldn't let her sleep. Eventhough y/n had tried to convince herself otherwise she knew what she saw and what she had to do.  With that thought she leant over and grabbed her phone. She began to dial 911 and went to press the call button but stopped. Did she really want to do this? What if the man was innocent? "no" she said "if the man is innocent, the police will find nothing." she said before pressing the call button.

"911 whats your emergency" the operator said

"hi i think i have some information about the Tom Bishop case."

"please hold" and with that y/n was transferred to a detective on the case and began to describe what she saw that night. "ok thank you miss. May I have your name?" the detective said. "um can I keep this as an anonymous tip?" she asked twiddling with her blanket as a way to comfort herself. "sure" the detective said a smile evident on his face "thank you for your help" and he hung up.

Y/n sighed and laid back down closing her eyes.

She didn't know how or why but John Wick had something to do with Toms disappearance.

Tbc

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A/n: so part three is over and im excite to see what you all think of this chapter because the shit is about to hit the fan.

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