#Shigaraki’s confused but he appreciates it nonetheless

[moodyvoid]

We deserved to have Magne around longer, because I would have given anything to see her give the league pep-talks like

Shigaraki: “Sometimes I just feel like I have no idea what I’m doing as your leader. Am I making the right calls? Am I doing what’s best for all of us?”

Magne: “Sweetie… you have to step your pussy up.”

[ignitification]

Hi so I like your BNHA metas and your take on the villains’ redemptions. The only thing I disagree with is you thinking Shigaraki will die.

Okay so yes I am hoping hard that he doesn’t die, but that’s not the only reason I say this. I wholeheartedly believe that Shigaraki will survive his redemption.

The number one reason is: this is a story about how Deku becomes the greatest hero who ever lived. We already know Deku is going to be the greatest hero ever-the question is how? Well, if Shigaraki dies, Deku has not accomplished anything that past heroes haven’t. Deku can’t the greatest hero who ever lived if he can’t save his very obvious parallel/counterpart. Just like Shoto is going to save Touya, and Ochaco probably will save Toga, Deku has to save Shigaraki. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t the greatest hero who ever lived, he’s a great hero—but he’s no different than All Might, who failed to save Shigaraki the first time. I believe this story is going to show us how Deku and his classmates (mostly Shoto Bakugo and Ochaco) are going to raise the standard for heroes, show us what true heroes are, and show how Deku and Shigaraki are going to put an end to the long battle between AFO and OFA—together. The set up for Shigaraki to play a huge part on defeating AFO is very obviously there, and we already know that OFA was created to defeat AFO-so there’s those two major set ups.

The number two reason: time and time again throughout the story the students have shown that you aren’t saved if you’re dead. Ending wanted to die, but during their fight Bakugo stated that that wasn’t going to happen. So what does this tell us? BNHA’s definition of saving includes being physically saved. And Nana’s definition in All Might’s flashback during his fight with AFO shows that hers and his definition of saving is saving the heart and body. Also, Shigaraki being Nana’s grandson is a huge part in his survival. Nana’s son already died prematurely, why should her grandson? It just seems like cheap writing.

Number three: BNHA is happy and hopeful and optimistic, and the heroes have hardly failed at anything throughout the story. Deku saying he wants to save Shigaraki, that was such a HUGE moment in the story. It would be dumb and wasteful for Horikoshi to just throw that obviously important moment away by killing Shigaraki off.

ANYWAY I like your metas and your blog, but I really hope you might have more faith in Shigaraki’s survival! I didn’t even dive into all my reasons for believing wholeheartedly he’ll survive, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

HI! Thank you so much for taking your time to read and like everything I posted, makes me extremely happy!

However, onto the content of the post, while I do agree to some degree with what you said - I am also very skeptical of it. You set very good reasons for Shigaraki's survival, that is for sure! But it might be just my perspective, and sixth sense, that screams at me hard that exactly because of the reasons you pointed out, Shigaraki is likely to die.

I’ll explain myself a bit better illustrating what I mean.

First things first, we have the whole narrative around Shigaraki. Or rather, Shimura Tenko. He is an extremely sad child who likes playing hero in secret. His father does not want to acknowledge his son’s ambition and his mother does nothing that might help him in the long run. However, this refusal to being accepted, as a child, as a future potential hero and a little kid who wants nothing more than his parents finally noticing that he is there, gnaws at him so hard that he starts scratching all over. And it fuels up his internal scratch, and by the time that peace breaks out, he killed his entire family and finally does not hate being himself anymore. Only that, this feeling lasts about an instant, and then Tenko is back again being an unhappy child with a scratch, painful memories and a quirk which he does not know at what degree can be harmful. Then, we are catapulted in his 20s, where Shigaraki looks pale, sick, consumed and frail at best, and decayed at the worst. He loses Kurogiri. He fails in his plans again and again. His body has exhausted itself beyond recognition, and he is being tested on by a mad scientist, while the person he thought was the closest thing to his father figure is actually using him. 

Shigaraki, at its core, is a lost character, trialing and making error after error to understand what goddamn he wants and what is feeling day after day. What does he wake up for? 

I hate saying this because Shigaraki is genuinely the first character I liked in BNHA, but he looks tired. He looks like he needs some rest. He looks like he needs a hug from his grandmother and her saying to him that he is not alone, and that it is okay for him to let go. 

I know this sound like sad words, which not even be true, but Shigaraki has been thrown to hell and back in these years and months and whatever he wants now is gone. He has nothing left but AfO’s will and the pure feeling of wanting to see everything decay. I believe that everything hurts him. Shigaraki has no tough skin, he is a bared soul to the world who has wronged him in so many ways, and once he gets his revenge nothing will be left anymore. Not in him, not for him. Because when he said he won’t forgive anyone, he meant it. 

My fear, however, stems mostly from the fact that AfO has gained control of Shigaraki’s consciousness. Not in all moments, but likely a lot of the time - which confirms my theory that Shigaraki is exhausted (going through the motions of whatever the doctor put him in) but still he is not ready yet to be the weapon AfO intended him to be. Which is why, as well, when AfO’s objective to gain Shigaraki’s body has been only partially succeeded, my alarms started blaring off. If, by chance, AfO does get Tomura under his total control, Shigaraki is as good as dead. It would be amazing, however, if the set up of him rebelling against AfO and making allies with Izuku into defeating him would come through. Point is: how is that going to happen?

Which brings me to a further point I want to address: I want to have hope in Deku and Shigaraki himself, but as I said, I really do not see it happening. It would be utterly unrealistic and would bring a lot of misunderstanding even if the story is set up for exactly that. I think that Deku, nonetheless, will try to save him, like he always does. Izuku is precious and yes, he would sacrifice himself every damn time again if that would bring everyone to safety.

Another thing which I wanted to address (I am trying to keep it short) is how you made parallels between Shouto-Touya, Deku-Shigaraki and Ochako-Toga. I am genuinely kind of unhappy on the writing of the women of BNHA. Maybe it is just me, but I do find most of them to be bland and with no appeal (which is no surprise, as the only interesting female character so far has been Rei for me). Ochako in particular, is very much the epitome of ‘Wanted to do loads - Accomplishment still in progress’ which relegates her to a very grey zone in my opinion, to the point that she seems instrumental to only express her gratitude and love for Deku by trying to get better, in which she mimics Toga (funnily enough). On the contrary, I dislike Toga. I really do not like her character, but I appreciate her behaviour toward the other League members and Twice in particular. Which is why, I am hoping that the two get a development soon (is Uraraka the traitor after all?). So as far as it regards them both, I hope this dichotomy between the two of them gets further explained and explored and that in the end we can really see Ochako evolving and Toga accepting herself as she is, instead of running toward fruitless horizons. 

Last things last, I do not agree with the fact that if Deku fails to save Shigaraki he will not become the Greatest Hero. Why? Simply because Deku’s accomplishments so far already put him in another league to everyone else, and I genuinely do not think that only because he fails to save him, he will lose his spot. However, I do agree that this is maybe the strongest argument toward Shigaraki not dying (surprisingly), because after all, this is still a shounen and the redemption theme is very strong so it might be that Shigaraki’s death might not be in character with all that has been planned so far. 

I am sorry if this post is a bit sad and/or confused. I just want everyone to survive and be happy, I just know that it’s not realistically possible. But thanks for not agreeing with me on this. I hope we can both hope for better days this way.

[leagueofidiots]

Just when we thought my habit of accidentally deleting asks was a thing of the past

My first time writing the LoV:

Triggers! Self harm, mention of gore, mention of past "death".

Shigadabi half a sentence of hinted spinarakidabi oof.

Terrible and out of character writing. This was a vent and I didn't mean for it to be ever published, but chapter one of my NaNoWriMo nonetheless lol

Also the first thing I ever published

Endeavor was the number one hero. All Might had fallen, and Enji Todoroki had risen to take his place. The newscaster's words crackled over our shared TV in the corner of the bar, Toga's feet still swinging off the stool as she sipped on her orange juice. I feel the tips of my fingers light for a moment, and Shigaraki looks over at me. "Watch it, ash tray, this place is trashed enough as is."

I clench my still-warm hand into a fist, and storm off to the bathroom. He can't be. He can't be. I always knew it was possible, but I'd never thought All Might would fall in my lifetime. I slam the door and clutch the sides of the sink, watching myself try to breathe properly. My eyes burn with a rage I often see in my fire. What has he ever done to earn this?

Whatever. My purpose remains. I must kill him. Whether for me or for Fuyumi and Natsuo and Shoto and Mom. Endeavor must die at my hand. He will burn. I will watch him burn the way he made me burn. I want to hear him scream, I want to watch his hair fade to ash, and I want to see his skin melt, and I hope he writhes as it happens.

Back alley. Burning. Pain. Terrible smell. Numb. Why? Black. Blue. Hands shaking. No. Mom? Red black red blue black. Hot. Fuyumi. Black. Numb. Why? Help! Black.

I hope he wants to be dead long before he gets that relief.

My wrists are bleeding at their seams from the strain I forced upon them. I chuckle softly, pulling out one of the staples, prompting a soft squelch and a twinge of pain in what little nerves I have left. Pull out a few more. Peel the skin back to reveal red. Charred, rotten, red. A few on my face. Some on my chest.

I snap out of brief psychotic breakdown, and look down at myself. Blood pools around my feet, a steady drip down my fingertips and heavy stains on my loose, white shirt. The mirror makes me look like Toga when she finds a small animal in her moments of boredom. The red stuff drips down my cheeks and pools in my mouth so bubbles of it blow out when I exhale. Fantastic.

My head swims as I steady myself on the sink. The red smears left by my fingers almost makes me appreciate Toga's fascination. As I let out another soft laugh, Shigaraki pushes open the door a little. "Hey, are you puking in here, or wha---" 

His face finally peers in at me. I feel my eyes in their more crazy state, open wide and irises narrowed. The laugh makes it worse, I'm sure. He looks instantly uncomfortable, cringing as his red eyes hit my face.

Suddenly I'm angry. Face like his, and he wants to cringe when mine gets a little messed up? "What's wrong, rat's nest, can't handle a little blood?"

"Dabi, I---" He looks squeamish, starting to scratch at his neck with both hands, pinkies extended outwards.

"You what? You wanna puke, go ahead. See if I care." I turn back to the mirror to stare at my work. In my peripheral vision I see him lean against the wall, now forcing his thumb to avoid the surface now. "Go right on ahead and puke your filthy guts out if you want."

He adjusts his dumb hand---Father---on his face. "I was raised by All-For-One. I think I can hold my own." His voice tremors as he says it, though his hand has found some stability.

"You look pretty queasy," I say a bit more softly, folding the skin on my wrist back to its original place.

"Just wasn't expecting you to be...I dunno, doing whatever it is you're doing." He scratches some more. The noise, though quiet, digs into my brain. "What is it you're doing?"

"What's it to you, creep?" I push a staple in with a sickening noise.

"Nothing, I just think I should know what my team members do in bathrooms after a nice breakfast." The sarcasm in his voice finally assures me he's not gonna pass out or anything.

I might though. The blood loss is making my feel dizzy. Not that I'll let it happen. I move on to reaffixing my jaw to the rest of my head. "I'm just adjusting things. You can leave."

"I dunno...You seemed kinda---"

I stiffen as a jolt passes through me, and my world blacks out for a second. When it clears, my knees have buckled, and I'm on the floor. "Crap," I mutter, and try to heave myself back up to no avail.

(Tomura) No, Shigaraki, comes further in and does his best to lift me up with eight of his fingers and thin arms. "Idiot." He forces me onto the toilet seat, then flicks a strand of his pale blue hair away from his eyes.

"I'm...I'm fine." I shove his tentative hands off of me. Get away, stop caring.

"Toga, get in here," he rasps in a quiet yell. Dumb, calling a phyco in to deal with a guy who's bleeding out.

She skips in. "Yeah, Shig?" Her eyes sparkle at me as she sees the mess I've made of the small, previously white room.

"Can you please get Kurogiri to bring in some medical supplies?" Annoyed tone. Good. Annoyed is not concerned.

She nods, and wiggles her fingers in a goodbye to us before slinking back out. "I don't need any medical attention, Shigaraki, I'm just---"

"Bleeding out on a clogged toilet."

"Shut up," I mutter. "There are worse ways to go." Burning burning burning burning burning numb.

Toga enters once more after a few minutes, Spinner peering over her shoulder. "Got 'em." A bag of bandages and such is tossed to Shigaraki, who looks at her in mild disbelief as he lets the bag fall on his lap. "Bad reflexes."

"I'd destroy it if I caught it, numbskull." He carefully opens the bag up and passes me some gauze. "Now go do something not weird."

"Fine," she says lightly, flouncing out. Spinner waits a moment before following.

Bad decisions were made shortly thereafter. Already light-headed from the blood loss, the moment that I press scratchy gauze into the open wound that is near my very-sensitive eye, I black out.

While the bar counter I wake up on is no more comfortable than the floor I sleep on, it was a good effort I suppose. My eyes open to see a crowd of faces hovering above mine, expressions ranging from boredom to amused.

I groan, and those who were looking elsewhere all gaze down at me. "Morning, sleepyhead!" "Took you long enough," from Jin.

"Why am I spread out on a wooden platform that I know for a fact has had Compress' sock collection on it?"

"We were fixing you. You're all stapled back now," Magne says, her vague hand movement presumably gesturing to my general existence.

Another grunt from me as I try to sit up. "Stay down, charcoal."

I roll my eyes, but do as I'm told. "I was fine."

Twice shakes his head. "Nah, your heart stopped once. We were worried." "It was funny."

I blink up at them. "...So why did you save me?"

Toga grins at me like I made some joke, her pointed teeth glinting in the bad lighting. "'Cuz that's what family does!"

Family burning fire not safe help protect miss crazy kill save hurt numb.

"We're not a family, we're, we're a conglomeration of smaller groups of close people if anything, and I'm not in one," I say hurriedly.

"Dumb idiot, you and Shig here are basically married already," Magne protests, rolling her eyes.

The pink flush on Tomura Shigaraki's face shows easily even past Father. "We're what?" I ask, more confused by this than anything.

"She's right, you really are dumb," he mumbles before he grabs the front of my shirt and lifts me up into a kiss.

It's soft, the most powerful part of it being his grip on my shirt, bringing me to his face. His chapped and scarred lips are rough, but his slow, gentle pace somehow convinces me that he has the loveliest mouth in the world.

After the initial shock, I begin to kiss him back. He was cute after all, and what else could I do? After what feels like both an eternity and only a snapshot of a moment, he lowers me back onto the countertop and sits himself back in his barstool.

"So, what were you doing anyway?" he asks loosely, like nothing had happened.

I blink a few times, considering. Family.

"Hello? Earth to Dabi?" Toga demands after several moments of silence.

"Touya."

"Sorry, what?"

"Touya Todoroki. I'm Endeavor's son."

[todobaku-shoukat]

Boku No Toddler Academia (2/?)

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11712765/chapters/26400150

Of mud and hugs and missing children

“Pony-tail, get the fuck out of the mud!” Bakugou barks as Yaoyorozu is practically swimming in the mud. He isn’t paid enough to deal with these kids. In fact, he isn’t paid at all.

 Yaoyorozu tilts her head as she frowns at Bakugou, confused. “I’m Momo-chan?”

 “Doesn’t matter. Just get the fuck out.” Yaoyorozu ignores him, even when Bakugou is glaring daggers at her. Bakugou doesn’t want to give in, but he’s learnt that being stubborn can cost a lot more pain. Apologising silently to himself, Bakugou gently says “Momo-chan, could you please get the fuck out of the mud?”

 It comes out sounding like Bakugou is constipated. But Yaoyorozu listens, although not before she grabs a handful of mud and presents it to Bakugou with a smile. “A mud-cake!”

 Bakugou doesn’t want to deal with more crying children if he rejects her gift, especially if she decides she wants a hug like Shigaraki, so he accepts it gingerly. He keeps the dripping mud away from his body, thinking of a way to dispose of it discreetly. If Bakugou thinks that accepting her gift would keep Yaoyorozu from wanting a hug, he’s going to learn that children are unpredictable as Yaoyorozu hugs him in joy. Bakugou sighs as he quickly throws the mud away, silver linings at the very least.

 Bakugou is surprised nonetheless. He’s never cared to know his classmates personally, taking them at face value. He knows that Yaoyorozu is from a rich family and he had assumed that she was a pampered princess. Her love for playing in the mud is rather unexpected, but Bakugou guesses it isn’t that surprising. Because Yaoyorozu loves to create things, whether with her quirk or just mud.

 “Hugs!” A voice calls and Bakugou is tackled to the ground by a horde of small children. Bakugou wonders if the gas had turned them into some toddler-dog hybrid because they all seem to be like little puppies with a penchant for puppy piles and excessive shows of affection. In fact, Bakugou thinks he feels someone licking his cheek, but he hopes he’s only imagining it.

 “Argh… Off!” Bakugou tries to shoo them away but there’s somebody’s hair in his mouth. He glances down to see bicoloured hair. Fucking half-and-half bastard. There’s a soft gentle hand in his own hair and Bakugou sees Shigaraki petting his head. What the actual fuck?

 Shigaraki catches Bakugou’s eyes and the former promises, “I won’t hurt you, sensei.”

 Bakugou rolls his eyes but it’s not like he’s in any position to defend himself. Is this the end for him? Finished off and smouldered by kids?

 “Stay away from Kacchan!” Midoriya’s voice calls and for once, Bakugou appreciates the help.

 “Kacchan… The pretty sensei is… Mine…” Shigaraki says as he continues to stroke Bakugou’s hair.

 The arms around Bakugou’s neck, Todoroki’s arms, gets tighter.

 “Hugs! Hugs! Hugs!” Kirishima shouts excitedly as he clutches onto Bakugou’s legs.

 Kids are fine. Of course only when they aren’t crying or screaming. Bakugou is rather fond of children. When his quirk had manifested and he had gotten stronger, he had been the leader of the kids his age. It was wonderful and empowering when they looked up to him for guidance and in childish delight. But these kids? They are starting to kill him.

 Todoroki’s arm around his neck is really tight and Bakugou wonders if Todoroki is secretly trying to asphyxiate him.

 “The dorm has been set up,” A voice calls as the door open just when black dots start to appear in Bakugou’s vision. Bakugou is saved by Midnight, and he wonders if he should change his favourite hero from All Might to Midnight. All Might had left him alone with these murderous bloodthirsty children after all.

 Midnight takes in the sight before her and laughs. She would never have imagined the angry and aggressive Bakugou being defeated by tiny children. She wants to savour the moment a little bit more, but Bakugou looks close to exploding and that would be terrible so she discreetly takes a photo before helping the boy up.

 “Oh my. You’re all so dirty. I’ll go clean the girls and you can take the boys. I’ll bring them to the dorm in about an hour.” Midnight says as she rounds up the girls. As they start to leave, Bakugou does a quick cursory glance at all the girls. There’s a nagging feeling at the back of his mind.

 Bakugou look at them again, searching for something before saying, “where the fuck is invisible girl?”

 Midnight is surprised as she looks at the toddlers, trying to find a floating pair of gloves. There are none.

 “Fuck! Where the fuck are you?” Bakugou growls, the worry aggravating him.

 There is no reply.