#She's living the last days of her incredibly luxurious life happy

[newkiqx]

Gonna miss you so much you silly idiot

Look at this little muppet blessing us all with her undivided attention

[the-fairly-oddparents-unofficial]

Cosmo and Wanda’s Godkids

So Cosmo and Wanda have obviously had a lot of godkids over the 10,000+ years they’ve been doing it, and while I’m not going to look at every single possible godkid they’ve had, I wanted to kinda look at the different ones that we actively see them have in both the main series and the different continuations

Timmy Turner

Timmy is a character with a lot of external factors making him miserable along with one big internal one. Growing up his parents are basically helicopter parents with his dad in particular being obsessed with capturing every moment of his life. At school there’s a strict hierarchy where the popular kids are basically treated like celebrities with their own private and luxurious lunch tables and bathrooms while he’s at the bottom of it. He has a couple of close friends but he still struggles with that. Then one day when he was 8 his parents played a rather mean prank on him where they made him think they’d left him and he called Vicky in panic who promptly starts abusing him and probably blackmailing him to keep him from telling his parents. Then his parents start going out more and leaving him with Vicky more, which from his perspective must have been incredibly shocking to have them hovering over him all the time outside of school and work to suddenly not being around as much.Not to mention that while he might not have had direct issues with Crocker before getting fairies, Crocker is shown to be generally very annoyed by kids and fails them joyously, which was probably pretty disheartening as Timmy’s smart, but not naturally academically inclined. With all this going on for a year, Timmy definitely developed some attachment issues in regard to authority figures in his life. So when Cosmo and Wanda show up, he very quickly forms an anxious attachment to them, desperately clinging to them as their entire job is to be around him and make him happy to the point that he self-sabotages himself multiple times in order to keep them, literally stopping everyone from aging while making sure they don’t notice and making Cosmo erase his own memory so that he never has to give them up. In the live action he even keeps himself in 5th grade and refuses to move on with his life—refusing to even attempt to get a job or move out or have meaningful relationships with other adults (and not just romantic ones). He’s terrified to lose them because the last time he perceived he was losing the adult caregivers in his life, Vicky came and made him miserable.

Chloe Carmichael

Chloe’s full backstory pre-moving to Dimmsdale isn’t shown much outside of the one flashback, nor does she have nearly the same amount of screen time as Timmy, but she’s definitely quickly established to have issues that are making her miserable even if she covers them up as best she can. She’s initially introduced as a mary sue character whom everyone loves and yet somehow needs godparents, before it’s revealed that she’s not perfect and not everyone actually likes her all that much. Other like her when she’s doing things for them but she struggles with making genuine friends to the point that she literally cannot relax and is obsessed with always doing something to help others, even if it’s damaging to herself. She’s in Dimmsdale for a few months and the entire town collapses the one day she decides to relax for what she thinks are health reasons. She’s tied herself worth to this idea of being perfect to the point that she goes into panic mode upon making a small mistake or a bad choice despite only being 10. All of this is only encouraged by her parents who put a lot of pressure on her to be this perfect child and force her to not go do things she thinks are fun and instead make her go and do the things they think are important instead, along with with her being left completely on her own for large chunks of time with absolutely no supervision. She’s terrified of disappointing others or of not being useful or being an actual kid and not an overachieving mini adult.

Tammy and Tommy Turner

We don’t actually know that much about Tommy and Tammy other than Timmy is their dad and he unintentionally leaves them with an evil babysitting robot that may or may not be manufactured by Vicky but definitely looks like her and that this makes them miserable enough to need godparents. They seem to have a good relationship with Timmy, but beyond that there isn’t a whole lot to go off of other than Timmy needed to vet that robot better.

Marty and Mitzie Mulligan

Marty and Mitzie probably aren’t well known by fans since they appeared in the third of the live action movies, but they’re shown to be in a similar situation to Remy and Dev in that their parents are rich and neglectful, ditching their vacation with their kids at the last moment, an action that Marty and Mitzie are seemingly used to and yet still disappointed by, and sending them on ahead with Vicky as their nanny for the trip who of course proceeds to make the two even more miserable. They both seem like sweet kids who don’t lash out cruelly to others, so they are a bit distinct from the other two rich godkids, but not a lot is shown from them about how they feel about their situation with their parents other than they’re sad and annoyed by it.

Vivian Turner

Viv is someone who’s always been very shy and anxious, but she seemingly had a ok life over all until her dad met his high school sweetheart, married her a week later, and forced Viv to completely uproot her life to move to Dimmsdale very suddenly all while lying to her about where they were going until it was too late to do anything about it and she’s now stuck in a town where she doesn’t know anyone and living in a house with a new stepmom who doesn’t like her that much at first and stepbrother she only learned about and met right when she moved in. Her life was suddenly thrust into turmoil before she even had a chance to process it and her one possibly rock ends up leaving for college the same day she arrives, leaving her struggling to figure out where she fits in with both her peers and with her family even after she comes to accept that having a stepbrother isn’t all that bad all whole she has trouble putting herself out there in order to do so.

Roy Raskin

Roy is an interesting case as he wasn’t actually supposed to get godparents. He just got assigned Cosmo and Wanda because he fell into Viv getting them and Jorgen kinda just shrugged and went “miserable enough.” He does still have some stuff going on though, such as his mom who met her high school sweetheart again, married him a week later, and has him and his daughter moving into their house very quickly. Roy seems excited by this but it’s still a huge life change that just kinda got sprung on him. His mom in general is depicted as being very emotionally unstable and often depending on him for emotional support with him witnessing all of her issues, even getting disturbed enough to go off with his new stepdad to get away from it. He’s shown to be very popular, but he’s worried his friends don’t actually like him outside of that popularity and he even has a stalker who he is very uncomfortable around. Plus he has Vicky as a teacher at his school.

Hazel Wells

Not a lot is known about Hazel’s pre-Dimmadephia life, but there’s implications that her only real friend growing up was her older brother and now she’s moved to a new area while her brother and the only person she seemingly has any close relationship with leaves to go live his own life without her and she can’t help but feel abandoned and alone. She has to go to a new school where she’s immediately targeted by Dev and struggles to make any friends with anyone else and while her parents love her and are around a lot, they’re also busy and have ended up giving her the idea that she’s all mature and grown up so she should just be able to handle things. She buries all her issues deep, deep down until they come spiraling up and overwhelm her to the point that she panics and makes a rash decision. And when she does make friends she’s stressed and anxious about them not actually liking her or their relationship not being exactly like it was with Antony because that’s her comfort zone and it’s been completely shattered at this point and she doesn’t know how to handle any of it. Even upon getting fairies and making an insane amount of wishes very quickly, she has problems with relaxing and just having fun with her wishes because she’s supposed to be mature and responsible for her age.

[loquaciousquark]

hello again, question two incoming! i was thinking about my tav and astarion and boundaries each of them would set with each other—ness got dragged alone into the illithid oubliette, sent to chult, and then sucked into the djinni's lamp in lorroakan's tower and astarion is Very Done with his glass canon sorcerer gf being imperiled while he's helpless about it—and i remembered your fic "this lethal light falls softly", where astarion sets kind of a similar boundary when tavish comes back from being in avernus way longer than intended. my question is kind of twofold, firstly what is it with astarion and girlfriends who disappear on him, and then more seriously, what are some other boundaries tavish and astarion have to set with each other? is it easy for them to draw those lines, or is it always a kind of fraught conversation, like it was in the fic where astarion was threatening to leave tavish? do those boundary-drawing conversations change after the netherbrain is defeated and they're not constantly fighting for their lives? i imagine you can swallow some things easier when you're mostly just worried your partner could die at any minute, lol

LOVE THIS. Poor Ness. Poor Astarion! In a meta sense, I think it's just great to see someone who explicitly avoided caring about people for a couple of centuries be forced to confront that he actually cares about someone...a lot now, and all the wonder & horror that comes with that. There's a certain kind of impotence that comes with that level of waiting & being able to do exactly nothing to mitigate it, and I like seeing Astarion grapple with it & decide: yes, it's worth the pain to stick around anyway, that the love matters more. It sucks for him, for sure, but man is it a good time for me! :D

In terms of boundaries, I think both Astarion & Tavish are extremely terrible at both articulating, implementing, and occasionally respecting them. Tav had a healthy upbringing until she was about twelve, and then her entire teenage & young adult life was built around getting close enough to people to rob them, first under the direction of her horrible aunt, and then on her own after she killed her. Even the Thieves' Guild, where she wanted desperately to be, didn't find her appealing enough to accept, so she very quickly learned that absolutely no one cared if she lived or died, that family, friends, & lovers would take off the moment she couldn't give them what they wanted, and that the only way to guarantee someone would stick up for her would be if she brought some sort of unique utility to the table. I don't think she ever broke any major boundaries for anyone because she never got close enough for them to matter.

Likewise, Astarion's entire known history is messily tied to utility and what (who) he could provide for Cazador. However, his job, for lack of a better word, explicitly relied on him pushing boundaries at every opportunity. He must get the person who's hesitant to follow him into a dark alley to come with him anyway. He must get someone so drunk that they make incredibly stupid decisions & sleep with him despite their better judgement. He must find the person already having a terrible day and be that listening ear, manipulating them so much in the process that they lean on his opinion and recommendations over their own. The luxury of a healthy relationship is so far outside his realm of experience, I don't think he has the faintest idea what do with it when he finds himself in one, like a dog who's actually caught a car.

The turn for him, therefore, must be the realization that he cares for Tav's wellbeing above his own. He's at last found something to care about and protect besides himself, something he'd die to save, and that means that after two hundred years, his own needs and wants must come secondary to his desire to make Tav happy.

For Tav, it's the opposite. She's spent so long believing herself unlovable that I don't think she really understands how much Astarion cares until very late in the endgame. She isn't trying to make things hard for him; she just genuinely doesn't realize she's hurting him. That would require her to understand that she has intrinsic value as a person to him, even outside of what utility she can provide, & she's bad at understanding that.

In that vein, I don't think Tav is capable of articulating hard boundaries for herself for a long time. She has things she likes & dislikes, of course, but for someone so used to desperately reshaping herself to be small, to be easy, to be lovable in the hopes that someone would want to stick around eventually, her go-to response is not to ask someone to stop doing something, it's to literally retrain herself to find that thing not that bad in the first place. It's only because Astarion is extremely good at quick-reading people that he picks up on it after a while & realizes this is what she's doing.

I do think at some point post-game he has a very clear sit-down with her where he makes her clearly state some things he's doing that seriously bother her, not just so he can stop doing them but so she can get used to putting voice to her wants in the first place. However, because he's him, I do think he's snippy and catty about it the whole time. They aren't serious complaints; he just knows his cattiness makes Tav laugh & he wants her to trust him--to trust that he loves her, sure, but also to trust him to stay even when she's irritated at him. He needs her to understand she's not going to chase him off by asking him to change his behavior. (Also a novel thing for him: that he is willing to change his own behavior for someone else, just because they ask. Because her happiness matters more to him than him "winning" an argument by being sarcastic & cutting, and it turns out that hurting her to win makes the win sour and bitter anyway & he doesn't enjoy it.)

Astarion is just the opposite. I think for a while he can't help but react every time he butts up against something he doesn't like, both from the novelty of being able to say no & as part of his attempts to figure out exactly what denials are worth the effort. In this way I think Tav is very well-suited to him; she's very patient regarding this kind of thing thanks to her own flaws (especially since she understands what he's doing, even if he doesn't). She doesn't mind at all kind of contorting herself around his changeable boundaries while he figures out what he actually does & doesn't want, and since they don't have the end of the world hanging over their heads anymore, there's no time pressure aside from her own mortality. Besides, she can tell which ones he really cares a lot about (her leaving without warning, her endangering herself on his behalf without his knowing, the period where they're not sleeping together in Act 2/3) vs. the ones he doesn't really care about & are really just unconscious tests (her leaving her shoes all over the floor, the way she fiddles with things all the time when she's bored, the way too many sweets makes her blood less tasty, etc.). It's not a way I think she could live forever, but because he does change over time and he does get better and he does clearly learn from his mistakes, she's willing to be patient on her part while he figures things out.

Eventually, as they settle into a routine and become more comfortable navigating each other's needs as well as their own, he learns he doesn't have to say no to everything and she learns she can say no at all. It's a lot of work for both of them, but they both care deeply about the other's success and happiness, and they're both willing to put in the effort to make something that'll last.

Ahh, this was wonderful to get to ramble on about. Thank you so much for asking! <3<3<3

[sparklingmusicofstars]

Hamefura fanfic : A twist of fate

Chapter 1 : The return part 1

After 7 years recovering from her bad health in another country, a letter was sent to Catarina Claes; according to one of the law of the kingdom of Sorcier all magic users coming from the kingdom have to go at the Academy of magic at the age of 15 years. Fortunately her health has gotten better anyway, at least enough to be able to leave the bed and walking alone on her own. Even though she still has fevers from time to time. She is currently riding a luxurious ship from the kingdom of Queed to Sorcier.

"Wow...! It has been so long since I last been there ! It's so nostalgic !"

I couldn't help to blurt out at the second I saw the harbor, it's been so long...

"My lady, I think you should calm yourself or else you'll fall into the sea"

My personnal maid, Mia, said calmy with a serious look.

Mia is one of my most dilligent maids, we are close in age so we have always gotten along very well and she has pratically acted as my big sister during the last 7 years. She comes from a commoner family but she is very smart, kind and well-educated.

"Don't worry Mia ! I'm almost 15 years old after all, in Sorcier I'm a fully mature adult !"

I cried out, a bit vexed of being still treated like a child

"You may be one in Sorcier but remember that in Queed you are still a child until your 18th birthday." She answered with the same serious gaze.

That's....true but still !

"And I already told you to drop the formalities when there aren't much people around, didn't I ?"

Mia told me that until we reach the manor of the Claes family she will still use them. Honestly I was a bit sad.

Anyway I was so excited and quite nervous to come back after so many years.

You see, my current name is Catarina Claes, I'm...or rather I was the unique daughter of duke Claes, one of the most powerful noble of the country of Sorcier. My father has always been very doting towards me so I lived a life where it was normal to both want and have things. Of course I grew up very spoiled and became very selfish, I was the very image of a wealthy young lady. But of course my life wasn't as perfect as it seemed, when I was 5 years old I started having fevers almost every weeks, it's at that time my family found out that I was born with a really weak body, I still remember clearly how much I cried at that time but I stood strong, though I still don't if it was for my or anyone else's sake.

One day, when I was 8 years old, my father took me to the royal castle to meet the third prince of the country, Geordo Stuart. He was a stunning young boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, he was like a typical fairy- tales prince. He was also the same age as me but he has an aura of maturity about him, you wouldn't guess he was only 8 years old. Of course that young lady fell head over heels for him at the first sight but strangely when I was next to him I felt a little chill I didn't really know why...At that time I thought it was only because I was very thrilled to meet him.

He guided me to the garden of the castle while I couldn't let go of his arm that I was holding very tightly...Now that I think of it I should have really restrain from doing that. He was also telling me something but it was like I couldn't hear him, at least I was happy enough to not notice the slighly annoyed and embarassed face he was trying to hide.

Suddenly (maybe because I wasn't looking around me) I tripped over something and fell face down on the ground. While the impact in itself wasn't that strong I guess that for a frail little girl of 8 years old it was enough to make it hurts a lot, If I had to say, quite a lot of blood was gushing from a wound on my forehead, at least enough to make the prince and all the servants panicking and my father rushing towards me with an incredibly worried look on his face. They were telling me something but I couldn't hear it ...My head and eyes were completely blank because I remembered something very important.

I was a reincarnated.

In my previous life I was a high school girl of 17 years old. During my last year in middle school I became completely otaku. I was reading manga, watching animes and above all I was playing otome games. I loved playing the most an otome game my otaku best friend lent me but I couldn't remember its name, maybe because of the pain in my forehead. I wasn't really proud of my story but I was quite the mischievous child in my previous life, I was climbing trees and fishing in the mountains with my two older brothers and playing games all night so I was often late at school. It's also because of that that I died at the age of 17. I was caught up in a traffic accident because I stayed awake all night to conquired the black hearted prince in my favorite otome game, I woke up late for school, rushed on my bike and was hit by a car on a busy road.

I barely remember being carried to the infirmary of the royal castle and at home by the servants and my father.

After that I suffered from a fever and a headache for the next days, but unlike usual that one wasnt getting better with the time, I only got the impression it was getting worse. So much that it worried my parents and I don't really know the details but it was decided that I would go to another country to recover, where the medecine and the doctors were better. I thought about it for a minute...it's just like the scenario of an otome game ! My otaku thoughts were running completely wild. My father told me with tears in his eyes that we have relatives in this country and that they will take care of me and my mother was just avoiding my gaze.

Of course I was very sad to leave and not see my parents and the servants I loved so much for so much time, I really wanted to bring my personnal maid, Anne, with me but she couldn't handle the long trip between the two countries and I didn't want to force her.

Fortunately this country was almost as wealthy as Sorcier and our relatives there were also powerful nobles and they were very happy to take care of me, they already have a son a bit older than me. He is smart, handsome and very gentle so growing with him was a really good thing and of course Mia whom I became friends with some time after my arrival.

Now, when I think about the little girl I was it feels like it was a completely different person.

My father insisted that I would celebrate my 15th birthday at home before entering the Academy of Magic because it was a very important event in Sorcier. I think that's because in Sorcier you are considered an adult at 15 years old...Humm...Very different from Queed and Japan where you are considered an adult at 18 years old.

While I was lost in thoughts I noticed the ship has stopped, we were arrived.

While I was gotten off the ship I couldn't help but notice that people were staring at me, especially men.

"Hum...Mia, do I have something on my face ?" I couldn't help but whisper to Mia who was standing next to me

"No, I just think you kinda stand out my lady" she replied

"Eh ?!! Stand out ?!! Do I look like that much different from others ?!" I blurted out, I hadn't be in Sorcier for a long while so maybe I was acting strangely or in a suspicious way.... How embarassing...

"No...I don't think you stand out "that" way " she replied in a ambiguous way

Ah...it's maybe it was because of my clothes, there were obviously not made here so of course people would looked at them curiously.

I guess it can't be helped ! I was convinced of that and nodded to myself while Mia just let out a exaspered sigh and, with a far off gaze, also said something I didn't really understand

"As dense as always..."

Okay...let's go home ! I thought eargerly before riding a carriage with Mia towards the Claes manor.

To be continued : Meeting my adoptive little brother

[scalamore]

TL2 Lari

I love Lari in TL2, because she’s just so much happier objectively compared to this time in her life in TL1. Vol 1: From what she recalls of TL1, things were always serious as she worked hard to be a perfect lady. When regressed chose to become Rupert’s attendant, she CHOSE to live life differently - living her life for the sake of being the perfect lady did absolutely nothing for her. It’s useless. Her family may think it as the most important thing, but not for her. She do what it takes to save them, even going against what they want for her. Now that she ran away from Belois, she’s tasted FREEDOM. She never had an allowance in Belois, but now Rupert compensates her well with a high salary as his maid. She still retains her rather frugal temperament, so she just purchases tasteful dresses she finds cute, with simple decorations like pearls or ribbons. Nothing glamorous or fancy, as she’s not interested in that. She doesn’t purchase a lot of jewelry or luxury goods. She just saves up most of her money. To note, she buys all her own dresses. Uncle her time in House Belois where she wore dark clothes like the rest of the family, she CHOOSES to buy light-colored dresses of various designs and styles. (Manhwa detail).

Although Rupert did keep on eye of all her movements at the start including with the obsidian vision-sharing stone, after chapter 60 he stops watching her and in ch 64 ish, he used it one last time as an emergency to save her. Afterwards, she has the freedom to go in and out of the palace, and sometimes she goes on marketplace trips with Rupert too! (Not dates apparently lol)

In the palace, she’s able to eat 3 delicious meals a day. She didn’t eat healthy in TL1 - not eating much and ate too many sweets at those parties. She goes outside and exercises more every morning (per Rupert’s recommendation for her to get in shape and get stronger).

She’s able to gain confidence to speak up to Rupert, and they naturally bicker and banter. She’s able to speak her mind and share her own worries with him over time. As she’s more comfortable around him, her “true” personality shines - a bit excitable, but endearing like a squirrel, energetic, fun, compassionate, loving etc. She’s pretty simple - she doesn’t need much. She doesn’t need power, she doesn’t need riches. Besides having her family safe, she just wants Rupert to be safe and happy too. Over time, Rupert learns to appreciate her, and he care about her thoughts and opinions, even becoming annoyed when he sees that her own father dismisses her opinions. He sees her upset expression when she feels guilty for wanting to speak up or disagree with the count, and at every chance he creates opportunities for Lari to speak up to her father. He even starts being proactive, wanting to spend more time with her and asking her her thoughts on almost everything. He really treasures their conversations during his breaks. He just finds her incredibly fun to talk to - she says so many interesting things! After becoming a couple, he makes sure to let her know always, how pretty she is, and gives her small touches of affection that remind her that he genuinely loves her. For the first time ever, because of Rupert, Lari feels seen, wanted and loved. She feels worthy.

Because of this, although Rupert had caused her pain in TL1, He is also the one who changed Lari’s life so much in TL2. His affection and love for her really validated her own self-worth, and her confidence and self-esteem had such a large boost. He’s the only one who always supported her, looked out for her, protected her, made sure she was able to speak her mind. He always gave her the positive affirmation she needed. Again and again, he will always advocate for her, and help her voice be heard. He doesn’t let anyone disrespect her - if they dare insult her, he feels as if he himself is insulted. He will always ask for her opinion and make sure she says what she wants. He’s very observant toward her - he can tell right away when she’s sad, upset, worried, and can tell when she’s starting to feel ill. He’s always happy to see her, and lets her know that he always misses her when they’re apart.

Really, Rupert is the most supportive ML in any manhwa I’ve read. This isn't just blind simping for the FL for plot - this is what I perceive as a well-written, supportive partner for Lari. With that said, whatever [love] someone can say the count has, is nothing like the [love] that Lari receives from Rupert, and even her mother, the only other person who wishes for her happiness. In the end, Lari’s happiness is if Rupert’s happy. If Lari’s happy, then Rupert’s happy. These two simply just want each other’s happiness. <3

[yaboyoj]

End of year post 12/29/2024

Reading last year's post really helped sink in how much has changed over the past year (and how much has not). I'll start with the biggest change. My wife and I welcomed twins into our family. They're still relatively new, but the struggle has been tremendous. Especially when we add on our oldest daughter, who seems to suffering from a severe case of the terrible two's (or 3.5's). Even so we love them all immmensely and I'm excited about our full home and large family. A wodnerful future full of memoies, lies aheadof us.

Speaking of Sydney, she started school this year and loves it. It makes me so happy to see her enjoying it so much. It sounds like a cliche, but I love watching the world trogugh her eyes, and I lvoe seeing how much she learns every day. I know everyone says this about their kids, but she is incredibly bright, and she is going to do amazing things one day.

As for the e wife, she still hates her job but is actively searching for another one. The search is in the final stretch and we should be in a new town by the summer. I still can't beleive this is finally happening.

Last year I was excited about the Police advisory committee and possibly being the President of our local community action board. Well almost immediately after the year started, I decided to reevaluate my priorities and just focus on the family. So I left the community action board, and eventually left the police advisory commission as well. I still have no hobbies and may rejoin the local community action board in whatever city we move to, but I have no qualms about this decision.

That said, I desperately want a job. I can't stay home with three young kids. It's too much for me and my mental health and I am genuinely scared how things will go if I don't start working. A few things look promising now, but with the move (and not even knowing where we're going yet), my options are limited. But I remain hopeful, and this is the only goal I have for next year.

My physical health and dental health are great and I have actually received compliments from both of my respective doctors. This may seem like a small thing but I don't always hear such kinds words from my providers (especially my dentists), so this has really stayed with me and if anything, it has motivated me to continue to improve on those things. I also went over 40 days without alcohol again this year, and felt really good while doing it. While I don't think I will ever quit, it is nice to know I can do this without feeling awful. Next year I plan on getting a vasectomy as well. While truthfully, I am a little nervous, I think it is a good thing, that will be valuable to me in my life. With all of that said, I think I am actually in a pretty good health spot and for the first time in my life, I don't think I need to make that a focus or priority for the upcoming year.

Lastly, I want to conclude this post in the same way that I always do. Looking back five years and seeing how for far I have come. I also want to go back ten years as that was another significant time in my life. Five years ago, Nicole and I had just moved to Peoria, gotten married and were still figuring things out. We were living in that tiny apartment that just had the roof collapse (the night before out wedding). I had just accepted a job at the public defender's office and thought that I would be there until I became a judge. LOL. What a difference five years makes. Looking back ten years, is a little more somber and reflective. December of 2014 was a dark time in my life. And I kept this information from everyone. But I was struggling with school and on the verge of dropping out. I was broke and had a crippling amount of student loan, auto, and credit card debt (and the auto debt was for a luxury car that didn't even work). I was living in a town I hated, cold and alone. I felt like I didn't really fit in or get along with anyone at school. My dating life was a disaster, and somehow even worse that Tampa. Plus, I still had unresolved issues with Catherine, and wasn't doing a great job of moving past her. Honestly, it took a long time to overcome all of these issues but ten years later, they just seem like a distant, faded memory. But I will never forget those day, and that moment in my life. Just makes me grateful for all of the things I have in my life now.

Until next year...

[marionrav]

Books about poor new wives

You could argue that Bettina's cookbooks are aimed at economy, but there's so much "spend money on this object to save money" and fixation on filling the husband that it feels more like a "live like this to make your family happy."

A lot of "How to Please a Husband" for example fixates on having a house, a fireless cooker, a refrigerator, and assumes you're buying magazines / newspapers to get more ideas. Another issue with Bettina is 99% of her cooking can be summed up with "did you try pimentos?" or "a pinch of paprika makes this exciting." A prune whip is declared by her daughter to be incredibly exciting. It is not.

For the comfort of the family is another book that suffers from "just buy these things."

So what else have I read?

"Ten Dollars Enough" is a book about a plucky young wife and a husband from a more prosperous family. Her husband's family is terrible and it basically says that they're rude but caring about her husband so she decides to put up with it for his sake. The book talks about charitable cooking, the need for a servant for at least some heavy labor, and how to treat your servant's well.

Servants are treated as people who might not be educated in all the most efficient options, but also deserving to get as much money as they can for the hard labor they do. It could be more racist, but the author is aware of class issues. The housewife's neighbor, for example, is someone with a limited budget and multiple children.

Since she does not know how to cook well, and she spends a lot of time sewing fancy clothes, her kids and her are dressed well, but she's exhausted and not well fed at the end of the day. The author argues hiring someone to help with some basic chores and simple cooking gave the housewife time to actually relax in the evening.

The actual cooking is mostly focused on cooking sensible portions and not compromising on the luxuries she enjoys. British puddings and German breads are considered interesting things to experiment with.

"Living on a Little" by Caroline French Benton is pretty similar to Ten Dollars Enough, but I found the emphasis on not letting the husband know if you were struggling to keep your menu together to be annoying.

This book felt like you were a general attacking a thankless battle plan to survive in a hot miserable kitchen. Other people may prefer this book to the other.

"Three Girl Chums and Their Life in London Rooms" is a direct link to copies from the magazine where they were printed in 1899. It talks about buying materials, saving supplies on heating / laundry and seasonal cooking. I find the menus to be surprisingly modern. There's a tomato salad complete with discussions about how to transport it in hot summer weather that I could see someone making today.

This last book I'll give a massive dated warning on. It's published in 1855, so predates the Civil War, and there are mentions of slaves / kitchen servants. While everyone in the book is white, there's a good deal of discussion of labor and work.

However, if you can ignore that the author likely has opinions on race, Home Comforts is an interesting example of this genre. There's a lot of focus on growing fruit / raising chickens and a fair amount of discussion as to how to treat elderly people in your community or how to live within your means. Two families are compared within the book.

Both are married to a blue collar trade husband, but one attempts to live in town and fancily and the other lives outside of town and a much more simple lifestyle. A middle class girl is going to marry a mechanic, and wants to live with the "simple" lifestyle family to learn how to happily live within her means.

A lot of the moralizing in the book talks about reading good books, not drinking or using tobacco, and how to eat well. The book also focuses on the importance of showing loving care toward yourself and others in your community. Most of the cooking is making simple multi-grain bread / salads / enjoying fruit / cornbread in various forms.

The book is not actually the same sort of "stories about life." Instead, this is a book from 1879 after a major crushing depression. Janet Corson worked on books / classes to offer attempts to have crushingly poor families survive. One book was Twenty-Five Cent Dinners for Families of Six.

This book assumes when you get a bird that it'll be dead and not much more prep done to it, and that your stove is not going to be a modern stove. However, if you compare some of the text to 1940's British books about surviving the war, you can find a lot of similarities.

For example, if you boil anything in anything, you use that liquid again. Either it's a drink (barley water) or a "broth" (boiled veggies or meat.) You try to get your calories in milk and bread.

You throw apples in your potatoes for more calories / sweetness under your roast meat so the meat (even if it's a little) will flavor your roast veggies.

I find this book and her other cookbook to be a little depressing, since it's very clear that the point of the book is survival and little more. I believe someone did the math and found you needed to add all the fat you could, since modern low fat cooking would've been dangerously low in calories.

[bitch-for-bo]

The Nanny (DILF!! Koutarou Bokuto x Chubby reader)

>>>>>>>DILF ALERT>>>>>>>>

WARNING : Bokuto is literally the hottest dilf EVER.

Bokuto Koutarou was tired.

As a worn-out, retired pro-volleyball player, one would think Koutarou’s life would be lived in luxury, in comfort beyond need.

But as he sat on a bench much too small for his built frame, holding a stuffed ballet bag whilst attempting to calm his crying son, all as Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker” blared through the studio filled with 6-year-old girls and their accompanying parents, Koutarou couldn't help but feel incredibly overwhelmed.

He’d take the pressure of playing the second match of a losing game on national television over this hell any day.

He hated it, yet he stayed….because….he loved it. He would endure the stuffiness and the discomfort, and the occasional request for an autograph if it meant that his daughter got to be happy.

He watched her spinning with her peers, smiling as he watched her brows furrow in cute concentration as the teacher introduced moves that would be in their upcoming recital.

She was truly the spitting image of Koutarou, both of the twins were. They both possessed his wild gold eyes and unruly hair, not to mention their smiles that could light up the whole building.

They looked so much like Koutarou that, back when he was still married to their mother, when the woman would take the twins out without him, she would claim to get odd stares everywhere she went.

So he supposed that he was grateful that they looked so much like him, with how it ended with his ex-wife he could never see her face again and be content, happy, even.

Still, being a single dad was…. hard.. to say the least. He was lucky to have plenty of money saved away from his glory days, but the stress and time crunch he was constantly subjected to by the various weekly sports practices or music lessons or grocery shopping or house-cleaning or literally all of the tasks that were making his hair gray faster than desired, was still palpable.

So it was safe to say that although the man loved his kids and really wouldn’t trade his life for anything, he was exhausted.

But he had no choice, so he continued to watch his daughter twirl about the studio while also attempting to calm his son.

“Excuse me…”

Koutarou’s head turned towards the sound.

You had been sitting beside the crying six-year-old for at least the last five minutes, watching his father struggle between comforting him and watching his sister.

You’d had to work up the nerve to say anything to the intimidating man, but you figured with how pitiful he looked, he’d welcome your help.

“I was just wondering if your son wanted a snack?”

Koutarou just stared at you, his golden eyes practically boring into your soul, making you want to sink back into your skin.

‘God’ you thought, feeling your face getting hot at the man’s attention. ‘I shouldn’t have said anything. What weirdo leads with that?...............why is he still staring at me?’

You cleared your throat, snapping Bokuto out of whatever strange daze he’d been in.

He looked down to find his son staring up at you, no longer crying.

Another 30 seconds of silence passed, you sat uncomfortably in your seat as a new set of golden eyes now stared at you, replacing the gaze of his father.

You were about to speak again, to tell the man to forget about it, but as you opened your mouth to apologize, the man finally spoke.

“....Just like that?” he says, looking at this new stranger with an incredulous look on his face. He couldn’t believe that you’d gotten his son to stop crying with a simple question.

“-I’m sorry?”

“Just like that you’re done crying?”

You watched as the boy turned back towards his father, grinning up at the older man before looking at you expectantly. You heard the father sigh before watching a grin overtake his face, practically brightening the whole room as the smile took over his features. You couldn’t help but mentally swoon at the sight of father and son, smiling at you with practically identical grins.

You felt your face getting even warmer as you watched the man’s eyes crinkle. You couldn’t believe how breathtakingly handsome this man was, his salt and pepper stubble shining in the fluorescent lighting as his hulking shoulders slumped forward. Your eyes darted towards one of his massive biceps as his hand reached back to rub the nape of his neck in embarrassment.

“Is it alright if he has one?” you ask.

Koutarou nodded as he thanked God for the angel that he’d just been sent. He thought that the crying would never stop when all it took for the runt to stop crying was a snack from a pretty lady?

Koutarou watched you intently as you asked his son what he wanted, opening a large tote bag you’d had on your lap to let him select his treat. You couldn’t have been older than he’d been when he and his ex had had the twins. The way that you were dressed suggested you were much younger than any of the other parents here, much too young to have kids as old as Bokuto’s.

A sister maybe? Koutarou thought as you handed his son a juice pouch, ruffling his hair and lightly asking him if he was here to watch his sister dance.

Soon, the end of class rolled around and all of the parents began gathering their things to go home. Koutarou, despite desperately wanting to, hadn’t said anything except ‘thank you’ to you, the feeling of exhaustion clouding over the possibility that you found him rude for not engaging in more conversation.

He watched you gather your things, wanting to stop you but not getting the chance as, for some reason, the dance teacher asked for everyone’s attention.

The teacher announced the departure of one of the students who was apparently moving away, telling the class that their friend would no longer be attending dance.

All of the children, Bokuto’s daughter included, yelled and huddled around and hugged their leaving friend, wishing them one last goodbye before they were all dismissed to run back to their parents.

Bokuto watched as the child who was moving away ran up to you, handing you their ballet bag before saying they were going to say goodbye to their friend one last time.

‘Well,’ Bokuto thought, ‘there goes the notion of ever paying her back’ he thought if he’d never see you again, he might as well thank you one last time.

“Oh….” you said, surprised that the man you’d helped earlier was thanking you and wishing you the best in your move, you awkwardly shifted on your feet, wondering if you should just roll with it.

“...actually… I’m just the nanny… not the mom….”

You watched as the older man’s ears reddened. Clear embarrassment coming over his strong features.

“.....Nanny?” Koutarou asked.

You nodded, looking down at your shoes as you wondered to yourself if you truly looked old enough to be a mother. Maybe it was time to invest in some new clothes…. or skin moisturizer?

You couldn’t really blame the man though, your whole life you’d been type-casted as the mother figure by nearly everyone you met. You knew it was because of your appearance, you weren’t thin or fit like most girls your age, but still….. to be practically called a mother by the most attractive man you’d ever seen was….. humbling…. to say the least.

But that wasn’t why Bokuto had assumed you were a mother, he hadn’t even assumed that! He thought you were just an older sister, helping out by picking a sibling up. He didn’t even think of the possibility of you being a nanny!

‘A nanny….’ he thought.

Bokuto had considered getting a nanny several times before. He’d thought that perhaps he’d be able to relax a bit more if he had someone to help him out with the kids. Alas, for some reason he never got one.

“Well…” you offered, trying to ease the air of embarrassment as the attractive man still towered over you, his ears still burning red, “in a couple of days when they move I’ll be out of a gig, so technically I won’t be a nanny then… but I’m still one now.”

“You can be my nanny.” Koutarou’s son said, grabbing your hand with his stubby little fingers and tugging you down to his eyes level.

You laughed.

“You’re too cute. But why would you need a nanny with the amazing daddy you have?” you patted his head again, gigging as he frowned.

It was a good thing that you hadn’t looked up yet, cause all that you’d see was the look of shock written all over Koutarou’s face. Why was his face so red? It must be the embarrassment of thinking you were a mother, right? ….then why was his heart beating so loudly?

It couldn’t have been from the way you looked at his son…... or the way you were positioned on your knees in front of him….. or the way the word daddy fell from your lips….right?

On a whim, without a single thought, Kontarou spoke up.

“I’m actually looking for a nanny.”

You looked up in surprise, extending to full height.

“You are?”

“Yes.” he responded quickly, praying that his son’s excited jumping beside him would be enough to hide the fact he was nervously bounding on the balls of his feet.

“Would you be interested?”

That was how everything had started.

The last couple of months had been a paradise for Koutarou. He finally felt like he could breathe again.

You were a dream, taking care of the kids and the house, leaving him able to actually do things again with his life, spend time with his friends, go to the gym, anything he wanted to do pretty much.

The two of you had decided that you’d be best as a stay-at-home, full-time nanny, having your own room and space at his house. So from the time the kids woke up in the morning to the time they went to bed at night, you’d be there for them.

Now it wasn’t to say that now that you were here Koutarou didn’t spend time with his kids, most days when the kids weren’t in school, the four of you would go out on little “family” excursions, to the aquarium, to the zoo, you name it, the four of you did it.

It also wasn’t to say that you didn’t also have a life of your own. Koutarou was probably the best boss a girl could ask for, he was more than happy to give you whatever days you wanted off, let you go out late with your friends, letting you come and go as you please.

It honestly felt surreal. You were living the dream. And sometimes, despite the guilt that came with it, you’d find yourself wondering if this was how it would be if YOU were the mother of the twins… if YOU were Koutarou’s wife.

At first, these thoughts were few and far between, but after the three-month mark, you found yourself thinking of it more and more.

You would find your eyes lingering across Koutarou’s chest as he cooked pancakes for the four of you on Saturday mornings, his shirtless torso rippling with laughter as the kids recounted kindergarten stories from their week. You found your face warming as you greeted him when he came back from the gym, his arm muscles, thick from years of pro-volleyball and physical training, sweat slicking back his salt and peppered hair.

Over time you noticed how your heart would now thump louder when he walked into the room or as you watched him interact with his kids.

You were ashamed to admit the feelings that you held for your boss were far from professional and anything but innocent.

But while you were getting eaten up with guilt, Koutarou was in a very similar boat.

At first, it was mostly just gratitude that he felt towards you. You truly were his angel, swooping in to take control when he got too tired to answer his son’s question of “why is grass green” for the fifth time or working your child taming magic to put down his gremlin daughter at bedtime.

Slowly, it morphed into something more. He found himself sneaking peeks into the laundry room, watching as your plump form folded over to empty the dryer, your ass barely covered by those flimsy shorts you insisted on wearing around the house, claiming that sweat pants and jeans were ‘just too hot’. He found his eyes locked on your chest as you scrubbed dishes, admiring the way that your tits bounced as you scrubbed away at the greasy pans before handing them to him to dry.

Ashamedly he found himself thinking of you, a girl far too young for him, as he touched himself in the shower after coming home from the gym to find you doing your yoga in his living room, the flow of ice-cold water doing nothing, the only relief coming from spilling his seed down the shower drain with your name on his lips.

He found himself lying awake some nights when you went out with your friends, wondering if you’d finally found a man your own age to take care of you.

Perhaps it was the mundane, domestic aspect of your presence that made the thought of losing you to a younger man so appalling to Koutarou, perhaps in some sick twisted part of Koutarou’s brain, you were his…. the caretaker of his children…….. his.

You would be lying if you said that you hadn’t noticed the tension between you and your boss. Lazy Saturday mornings in the kitchen seemed much more… intimate now. Trips to the grocery store felt electric. Even the outings that the four of you went on together felt like….. More.

People on the streets would compliment you on the kids as if they were your own. They would awe and tell you how precious your family was… and even though sometimes Koutarou would notice the four of you getting strange looks, a woman as young as you with a man as old as himself, the way that you would light up, thanking the strangers for their kinds words, bragging to them about him and the kids, managed to make the negative thoughts melt away.

This was getting dangerous. Both you and Koutarou could sense it.

*******************

“Hi boys…. Don’t mind me, just cleaning up a bit. I brought you some more to drink!” You said cheerfully, setting down the two six-packs on the coffee table in front of the men before beginning to pick up a few of the empty beer bottles adorning the table.

Koutarou was having some of his friends over to watch the Olympics, volleyball of course, and with the kids at school, you had nothing else to do but tend to the group of men, refreshing their food and drink every now and then.

You liked Koutarou’s friends though, so it wasn’t a big deal.

The group of men thanked you before breaking into the new alcohol you’d just brought them.

All of their thoughts were similar,

Bokuto was one lucky bastard to have a pretty little thing like you around for him. They watched shamelessly as your soft body moved around the room, admiring the ways your thighs jiggled. Gazing at you with hungry eyes as you leaned down to pick up more bottles from the coffee table, exposing a perfect view of your tits, squeezed together in a white lacy bra.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t notice the attention. You could feel the way that the men’s eyes were digging into your flesh as you pranced around in a sweet little baby blue sundress.

You’d be lying if you said you didn’t wear this on purpose. You knew what you were doing.

You’d been less than lucky in the man department lately, the guys your age just weren’t looking for what you were. Yeah sometimes they made for a nice fuck, but with the way your sights had been set on your boss lately, they just couldn’t hold your interest, so what was so wrong with flaunting yourself to Koutarou’s friends? They were nice, attractive, and attracted to you. Catching the annoyed attention of your boss wasn’t the mission, just a perk…..right?

Koutarou wasn’t dumb. He knew what you were doing, and perhaps it was the adrenaline of the game mixed with the fact he’d already downed a six-pack to himself but Koutarou found himself extremely annoyed.

Annoyed with the way you were giggling as you made light conversation with his friends, annoyed with the way said friends stared at you as if they were wolves and you were their precious target of a lamb, and most of all annoyed with the way he wasn’t already balls deep in your fat little cunt.

The last straw was when one of the guys asked you to adjust the volume manually on the TV having “lost” the remote. He watched you walk up to the television, mounted on the wall at least three feet above your head. He watched as you stretched your frame, reaching to the volume control. His vision narrowed as he watched the hem of your dress slowly rise, he watched in his peripheral as all of his dirtbag friends stared at the tops of your pillowy thighs.

‘Why the fuck did I mount that TV so high?’ he thought angrily.

He thanked God when you finally cheered out that you’d found the volume, your dress not short enough to expose your ass to them.

He watched as you came back down off of your tippy toes, your butt jiggling as your heels landed on the carpeted floor before you turned and made your way out of the room, promising to come back later with more refreshments, much to the disappointment of all of the attractive ex-volleyball pros in the room.

Koutarou waited for about twenty minutes after you’d left, before he stood, announcing he was going to the bathroom and then to retrieve more beers.

After relieving himself, he went to the kitchen.

As he rounded the corner to the kitchen, the sound of music filled his ears, some old dance-in-the-kitchen song played through the air as your frame came into view, your soft body dancing around as you baked what looked like cookies.

Bokuto just stood and watched, all of his previous frustration melting away as his eyes danced over your face, your eyes closed and your mouth quietly singing along. His gaze fell to your sundress covered ass, the pudge of your thighs deliciously taunting him as you swung your hips in small circles with the music.

He couldn’t help but smile as he noticed that you were wearing the cute little apron that his kids had gotten you to match his own that he used. The aprons had been a father’s day gift, it was a set of his and hers aprons, his displaying the classic “kiss the cook” design and the one you were currently wearing said “don’t mind if I do!” The design was incredibly tacky but the fact you were wearing it filled him with a feeling he’d become far too accustomed to lately.

He wanted, more than anything, to make this scene last forever. To forever keep you close enough to hear your laughs, to see the way your plump cheeks dimpled when you giggled at his lame jokes, he wanted you to stay with the kids…with him.

He walked into the kitchen.

“I see you're having fun.”

Your eyes popped open in surprise. Sometimes you couldn’t believe a man as large as Koutarou could be so stealthy.

“I’m making cookies!” You practically sang as Bokuto retrieved another two six packs from the fridge.

“Oh yeah?” He hummed, turned around to face you, each of his hands occupied with alcohol.

You grinned up at the man, admiring his strong, stubble filled jaw and his warm golden eyes. You closed your eyes for a second, sighing in content as you bathed in his gaze, thinking to yourself how you’d take the attention of Koutarou Bokuto over the sun’s warmth any day.

You sighed, opening your eyes again to find Koutarou smiling back down at you.

“Dance with me Kou…” You requested, gently removing the 6 packs from his hands and leaving them on the counter.

Koutarou watched as you took his hands in yours, your hands were so small and soft compared to his, not to mention much colder.

You hummed as you guided his grasp to your body, dropping his large hands on your hips as you rested your palms on his biceps, giggling quietly as the muscle tensed and relaxed under your fingers.

Koutarou let you lead, although it wasn’t much of a dance and more of just the two of you standing in his kitchen, swaying like an old married couple.

“Not much of a dance….” he mumbled, willing himself to keep his body under control as you pressed up against him, your body swaying to the music.

You laughed.

“Isn’t it nice?”

Bokuto just hummed in response, letting his eyes droop closed as the music continued playing, your bodies moving together as if they were one.

As you danced though, Koutarou couldn’t help but think back to the way you pranced around in front of his friends, how you acted so innocent and lovely as you practically showed them your tits. The same tits that were now pressed up against him as your face laid against his chest. Or how you chose to wear your thinnest, shortest sundress today, knowing the house would be full of 30 year old men who’d like nothing more than to see the skimpy little hem flip up.

And despite concentrating on not… getting excited… Koutarou could feel himself hardening in his pants, a detail you were also gleefully aware of.

“Kou…” you whispered.

The man didn’t look down at you, still swaying back and forth, his fingers gently grasping the fat of your hips.

“Kou….”

The man’s eyes snapped open as he felt your fingers trail from his arms to his chest, your prettily painted nails drawing circles against his right pec.

“Kou…. it’s nice… isn’t it?” You asked quietly.

Koutarou watched as you tilted your head back to look up at him, your half lidded eyes dancing across his face. He watched your lips part as you stared up at him with blown-out pupils. Everything about you was so soft… so warm……. sinful.

“Y-”

A loud honk cut him off, making the both of you jump as your heads turned to look out the front window.

There sat the school bus, opening its door to let out Koutarou’s children, promptly ruining the moment.

You frowned, stepping away from an equally disappointed Koutarou. You looked out the window to find the twins running towards the doorstep, giant smiles on their faces…. They looked just like him…

“Well…” you mumbled, rubbing your palms on your apron, trying to snap yourself out of whatever daze you were in.

“I’d better-”

You turned around to find Koutarou gone, along with the beer that had been sitting on the counter.

Your frown deepened.

The oven beeped and two sets of knocking came from the front door.

You heard the twins outside.

“Miss Y/N we’re home!!!!”

“Let us in!!!”

And just like that you were reminded that this was your job even if you desperately wanted it to be more.

*****************************************************

“Can you pass me the pepper bub?”

“Here doll”

“Thank you”

Bokuto’s kids were truly JUST like their father.

You laughed as you grabbed the pepper away from the chubby little fingers. You couldn’t remember when it had started, but seemingly all of the sudden, Koutarou’s children had begun sprinkling in the endearment their father used towards you when they spoke to you.

They still call you by your name most times, but every now and then they throw in the name just to make you laugh.

They were also just like their father in the way that while they seemed clueless, they really were quite smart when it came to reading people, especially you. So when you had come home an hour ago they immediately noticed your sour mood, no matter how hard you tried to hide it behind your cheerful smiles and tight hugs.

You had in fact gone out earlier, on a spur of the moment date with some guy your friend tried to set you up with.

After the startling wake-up call from Koutarou earlier in the day, you’d decided that what you needed was a good old fashioned date and dick appointment.

Unfortunately, it didn’t help. You returned home worn out and sad. But nevertheless, you still had dinner to cook and kids to take care of so you put on your brave face and hoped that Koutarou’s friends would stay long enough to where the man wouldn't come up for dinner.

To your thankful surprise, the kids and you ate dinner alone before you helped them to bed, reading them a story or two before turning lights out and going back to the kitchen to clean up over a bottle of wine.

Bokuto dragged a hand down his face, he loved his friends but god was he exhausted! The men had finally called it a night and dispersed, leaving Koutarou with a messy ‘man cave’ and a sagging feeling of tiredness in his chest.

As he walked up the stairs, he heard your music once again drifting from the kitchen, causing a sort of deja vu to come over him.

He hadn’t meant to run away earlier, he just didn’t know what to do. Of course when he later watched you return to the house, having no clue where you had been, he knew he’d made the wrong decision with the way you avoided his gaze.

There you were, dancing around the kitchen in that same little blue sundress, but this time with a full glass of white wine.

Just like earlier, your eyes were closed as you moved your hips to the music, your dress swishing, exposing enough skin to make Bokuto feel hot as his cock twitched in interest in his pants.

“Dancing again?” he asked gently, sitting down at the island, trying his best not to startle you.

Your eyes opened to lazily stare at the man, running over the broad expanse of his shoulders. You weren’t drunk……. but you definitely weren’t sober.

After no response, Bokuto asked another question.

“I saw you went out today… ‘d’ya have fun?”

You chuckled, taking a long sip of wine as you recalled the mediocre dick you’d received.

“Not quite.” you mumbled, turning away from Koutarou as you continued to sway.

“Not gonna ask me to dance?” He tried teasing as you set your wine down to begin drying the dishes you’d just washed.

You shrugged.

“Join if you want…” your voice was slightly slurred and Bokuto could tell that this wasn’t your first glass.

He got up, striding over to stand behind your beautiful frame, resting his hands on your waist as he pressed his chest into your back, urging you to relax into him.

“It’s nice isn’t it…?” he whispered in your ear, making your tipsy figure shudder against him, your ass brushing against his crotch as he moved the both of you to the music.

“Koutarou…” you sighed, trying your best to focus your hazy mind on drying.

‘Koutarou?’ Bokuto wondered….’not Kou?....was it because of earlier?’

“Where’d you go today?” he muttered against the shell of your ear.

“Nowhere..” you mumbled absentmindly, “just a stupid date.”

Koutarou’s heart sank…. a date?

“How was he?”

Your eyes widened at Koutarou’s question. Even though it could’ve sounded innocent enough, you knew what he meant… what he wanted to know.

Suddenly you were painfully aware of the feeling of his cock resting on top of your ass, digging into the softness of your lower back. You felt your knees weaken.

“Disappointing.” you whispered, trying to control the beating of your heart.

Bokuto hummed as bent his head down, dragging the tip of his nose behind your ear as his strong arms moved away from your waist to wrap around your body, removing the drying towel from your grasp before moving back down to rock his hips against you.

“Kou….”

The quiet moan of his name falling from your lips confirmed it. You’d been wanting him just as much as he’d been wanting you.

“Yes doll?” he mumbled, turning you around in his arms before pulling you close to resume dancing.

You looked up at him with heavy eyes. His eyes were trained on you, the bright gold burning into your face, making you squirm against his hard body.

Somehow, your feet were moving below you, you knew that you were still dancing but it felt like you were just floating on air, the way Koutarou looked at you made you burn in a way you’d never burned before.

You could feel your cunt leaking, soaking through your pathetic thin panties as you breathed in Kou’s scent, as his heat radiated into you.

You wanted him….needed him.

“Kou…..” you moaned again, already panting as his grip on your body tightened, your softness squirming beneath his fingers. “....daddy…”

Bokuto’s cock twitched as he groaned low in your ear.

“Shit…” he whispered in you ear, his fingers running up under the hem of your dress, poking against the front of your panties, “...you’re so fucking hot doll….”

You gasped, your hands snapping down to grip the counter behind you as you felt his fingers rip away your panties, the soaked flimsy cotton falling to the ground below you.

A high pitched whine escaped you as Koutarou’s thick fingers ran up and down your lips, stopping to play with your slick, taking it on his middle fingers before bringing them up to your mouth.

“Suck….” he ordered.

Without hesitation, your mouth sprang open and you wrapped your tongue around his fingers, embarrassment filling you at the thought of cleaning yourself off of him. You were embarrassed, yet your pussy pulsed, making your body twitch in the position, Koutarou’s muscled arm trapping your hips against his as he massaged your tongue with his fingers.

He slid his finger out of your mouth, a groan rumbling in his chest as you moaned at the loss, watching your spit draw strings to his fingers.

“Such a pretty girl…” He whispered, but taking your jaw with his dry hand.

“...Kou-” your whine was quickly swallowed as his lips finally met yours, his tongue wasting no time in thrusting itself into your mouth, soothing you sounds as he licked into you, tasting your arousal on your tongue.

Your head was spinning, nearly too much to notice the way his dampened fingers trailed their way back down to your pussy, brashly dipping straight back into your cunt, his middle finger tip drawing a circle around your entrance as his thumb pressed into your clit.

You cried into his kiss, your knees buckling.

Koutarou chuckled, wrapping his arm around your back tighter as he pressed you into the counter.

“Kou please….” you panted, your mouth breaking away from his to beg him to hurry up and fuck you.

You wanted it so badly, you didn’t even need prepped. That loser you’d been with earlier had already done that. You weren’t able to orgasm then… all you were able to think about was your boss, taking you in a position much like this one.

“Shhh….”he mumbled, finally pressing his two middle fingers up into you, grinning as you shuddered against him.

“Hmmmm…..” he said, feeling your walls clench around his digits as he curled them into you, his experienced fingers finding your spot within seconds, making you cry out and dig your nails into his shoulders.

“Feels like that boy couldn’t do shit for my baby, you’re still too fucking tight for my cock…”

“Noooo…” you panted, your hips jumping as his fingers curled into your g-spot again, making your toes curl against the hardwood floor of the kitchen. “Need you now….please daddy..”

Koutarou groaned at the name again, his cock leaking in his boxers at the pathetic sounds coming out of your throat.

He wished he had a mirror in the kitchen, wished he could see all of you, he wanted to be able to turn you around against his chest, to bunch your cute little sundress up around your waist and watch his fingers disappear in and out of your swollen pussy.

He flipped you around against his chest, giving himself more leverage as his palm ground against your clit, allowing his fingers to quicken their pace, fucking into you, abandoning the sweet and slow tempo as he began to abuse your spot with each harsh push.

“Shhhhh sweetheart…” Koutarou cooed in your ear, grinding his cock up against your ass, as if promising that time would come soon enough,

“gotta loosen you up for daddy’s cock…”

You moaned at his words, your pussy somehow clenching even harder.

“Daddy…” you panted, twisting your neck to look back into his eyes, “...’m close…”

Bokuto groaned, dropping his face against your neck. He could feel it, your walls getting tighter around his fingers. He wanted you to let go… to show him how badly you wanted him.

“Come on sweetheart…. I want you to feel good for me…” He mumbled, his free hand bunching your dress up further to take one of your nipples between his fingers, pulling on the hard bud, pulling another pathetically high pitched whine from you.

“Daddy…” you breathed, your body shaking as you felt your orgasm getting closer and closer “....hurts….”

Bokuto shushed you again but didn’t stop pulling on your nipple, the burning sensation bleeding through your chest and making you squirm against his hard chest.

And yet somehow, you could feel the pain getting you even closer to your high, a realization that ripped a sob from your chest as you neared the edge.

“So pretty….” he mumbled against your skin… “you gonna cum for daddy?”

“Yes daddy!.....” you cried, your eyes snapping closed as you felt yourself on the edge.

“Ask nicely baby….”

You cried even louder, feeling actual tears welling up in your eyes.

“Please daddy!” “Please what baby?”

“Let me cum daddy….wanna cum…want -p-please lemme cum!” Your words were slurred as Bokuto gazed down at you.

His whole kitchen which used to only be filled with the sound of your old music was now filled with the sounds of frankie valli accompanied now with the loud squelching of your cunt and the slap of his palm against your pussy.

He could hear the ragged patterns of your breaths, telling him that you weren’t lying in how close you were.. How badly you wanted to cum for him.

He was glad that the kid’s room were upstairs of the other side of the house because as soon as he said it,

“Go ahead sweetheart…”

If their rooms had been any closer they’d have run downstairs, frantically asking as to why their father was seemingly killing their beloved nanny.

“shhh…. “ Bokuto soothed against your skin, pulling his fingers out of your pussy before lightly slapping the swollen lips, making your jerk against him as an overstimulated whine came from your mouth.

He couldn’t wait any longer, he could feel his cock pulsing as he bent you over the island counter, sinking down to his knees as he guided your legs further apart and pushed your asscheeks open, revealing your fat little pussy, smeared with your own cum as it twitched with the after effects of your high.

He wanted to taste you directly, shove his tongue into your pathetic little hole and rip another orgasm out of you, but he didn’t think he could wait that long, not with how hard he was.

He needed to be inside of you… now.

“Fuck….” he muttered, watching hungrily as your hole clenched around nothing, he chuckled as he heard you let out a whimper above him.

“How about it sweetheart?” He asked, standing to full height as he dropped his pants around his ankles, his cock springing up to slap his torso.

You gasped at the sound of it. Somehow just by the sound of it you could tell it was big. Definitely bigger than anything you’d ever had before.

“Gonna let me fuck your little pussy for you?”

You nearly died on the spot at the vulgarity of the proposal and yet you couldn't hide the way your body arched against the cold counter, more than ready for anything he was willing to give.

“Yes!... now!” you demanded, making Koutarou laugh behind you.

“Is my pretty little baby getting bossy now? Is your pussy that needy baby?”

You cried against the counter, your feverish forehead pressing up against the granite as if it could clear your lust clouded mind.

“Please Daddy…” you whimpered, sniffling back tears as they continued to gather in your lash line, threatening to fall.

“Shhh.. I got you baby…” Kou assured, guiding his cock towards your core, dragging it through your lips.

‘Fuck’ he thought, you were so wet he didn’t even need you to spit on his dick, and even less so, need lube.

One day though, probably tomorrow, he’d have to have you on your knees, choking on his cock so he could watch you cry. Maybe he’d buy you a toy to sit on while you sucked him off… the thought made him impossibly harder.

“Shit.. “ he cursed, abruptly pulling away from you, causing your head to quickly turn, your eyes wide as you watched him take a step back.

“Shit… sweetheart, I need to find a condom.”

You made him feel so young that he’d almost forgotten, and he knew that the last thing you needed was a baby with someone like him to ruin your life.

He paused when you didn’t respond.

“Wha-” he mumbled as you slinked off of the counter and onto the floor in front of him, your eyes level with his cock.

It was probably the prettiest cock you’d ever seen. It was long and thick, and god his balls were amazing, so heavy…..

Bokuto nearly yelped as your fingers surrounded him, immobilizing him as your lips wrapped around the weeping head of his cock, you fingers brushing down through his pubic hair to cup his balls, pulling an embarrassing whine out of the built man as you squeezed them.

“What are you doing…” he panted, his hands gripping the counter over your head.

You just stared up at him, swallowing him further.

Koutarou nearly choked on air as your blown out pupils stared up at him.

You pulled yourself off of his cock.

“I’m okay daddy…” you whispered, deciding his dick was probably wet enough for you as you folded back over the counter, the cold surface digging into your stomach as your arm reached back behind you, finding and guiding Kou’s cock to your entrance.

“...wanna feel you…”

Koutarou tried. He truly did.

You nearly screamed as he wasted no more time, thrusting his cock into you, not even letting you adjust as he bottomed out, his balls pressing against your clit.

“Fuck!”

Koutarou was ruthless in the pace he set, pounding into you like your pussy owed him money as his hands held onto your body in a vice-like grip, switching from spreading your ass to see the way you sucked him in, to resting on your upper half, one hand pinning your lower back into the counter while the other cradled your throat, bending your body into a pose that made you feel him in your throat.

You prayed that tomorrow you’d be able to walk.

“Fuck sweetheart…” he panted, his breaths lining up with each sound of his balls slapping against your bud. “You feel so good….. so fucking tight….”

Bokuto’s head was spinning at the way you were gripping his cock, your cunt felt so good around him… so soft and warm…. He was embarrassed to say, but you made him feel like he was back in his twenties again, he felt like he was gonna bust after just minutes inside of you.

“Kouuuu….” you whined out, your eyes crossing as the pressure on your throat increased, making the older man lighten his grasp, opting to let his palm migrate from your throat, tangling itself in your hair before pulling your head back that way.

Your cunt clenched at the burn in your scalp, making the two of you moan in unison, Koutarou’s hips speeding up even more.

“You’re such a good girl sweetheart…” Koutarou grunted, his fingers pulling your hair to angle your face within range, allowing him to press your lips together again, capturing all of your desperate little sounds with his mouth as he panted into yours.

“Tell me baby…” He said, his golden eyes burning into yours as you sobbed at a particularly hard thrust, the tip of his cock knocking into your cervix.

“....tell me if any of your little boys can make you feel this good…”

You shook your head frantically, your jaw slack as you felt a line of drool running down your chin.

You’d never felt this good in your life. You didn’t know how, after this, you’d ever go back to fucking anyone but Kou.

“Tell me baby. '' he said, slowing his hips down to a roll, his cock dragging through your insides at a frustrating pace.

“Nooo… only you….. Please daddy….” you choked out between full on sobs, your hips trying and failing to fuck back agaist him, begging him to resume fucking your brains out.

Koutarou chuckled, your answer causing his cock to twitch inside of you.

“That’s right…” he groaned, “gonna ruin you for anyone else…. Gonna make it to where whenever you try to fuck anyone else…. All you’re going to feel is my cock inside of you, yeah?....”

“Yes!” you sobbed. Your thighs shaking as Koutarou finally resumed his brutal onslaught against your walls.

Koutarou was so close….god you made him so close…. Everything about you was so perfect, the fat tears that were rolling down your cheeks as his hips slammed against your ass, the way that he could feel your pillowy thighs shake every time he thrusted into you, the way your fucked out expression stared back at him, looking at him as if he’d hung the stars.

He groaned, feeling his end rising within him.

“Kou….” you whined, your watery eyes snapping back to look at him as you felt his cock still again.

Without a word, Koutarou wrapped his arm around your tits, pulling you back against his chest before doubling down.

“Kou!” you cried as your small pants and gasps turned into full on sobs.

There was something humiliating about the large man fucking you in the middle of the kitchen, forcing you to stand with the strong bicep wrapped around your tits while the other hand continued to grip your hip, using it to guide you on his cock. But all you could do was cry because even though it was, for some reason, embarrassing, it was incredibly hot.

“God…” Bokuto grunted through a clenched jaw. He needed to make you cum, he wanted to feel you cum on his cock before he finally lost it.

“Come on baby…” He mumbled, his lips hot against your ear.

“No!” you gasped, your fingers gripping his wrists as the hand across your chest began pulling at your nipples, that had already become sore after being pushed across the counter so many times as he fucked you into it, and the other hand leaving your hip to reach down between your puffy lips, playing with your clit as his thick forearm pressed itself into your stomach.

Your fingers tried with no avail to stop him, your end rising like a fire inside of your lower abdomen.

“....too much….” you whimpered, your head falling back against Bo’s broad shoulder, giving his the perfect view of your bouncing tits and stomach as he fucked you, as well as giving him the perfect opportunity to latch his mouth onto your neck, his tongue and teeth nipping and licking at your erratic pulse.

“Shhhh…” he cooed “....you’re doing so good baby….so good for me…”

Your senses were completely clouded with the older man, you were so lost you couldn’t even really tell if your feet were touching the ground anymore.

All you could feel was him.

“Mm….gonna cum……can I cum daddy?” you begged, tilting your face towards his, letting him see the absolutely wrecked look on your face.

“Fuck yes baby…whenever you want baby….” he moaned, his thrusts beginnging to shallow out, a clear sign of his impending release. “Cum on my cock…..please...”

It only took a couple more thrusts for you to fall off of that cliff, your body jerking and flailing in Koutaro’s tight grasp as your cunt spasmed on his dick.

He went to pull out to shoot his load onto you, but your broken whimper stopped him.

“No…” you choked out between gasps, still riding the waves of your high, “....in me…. want it in me….”

Bokuto was going to pull out, HE SWEARS.

He was going to pull out but before he knew it, right after those words left your mouth, his cock was buried to the hilt inside of you, spilling himself into your cunt as it milked him dry.

All you could do was moan at the sensation of his cum painting your walls… there was so much….

Bokuto guided the two of you back to the counter before slumping both of you over it, his cock still pressed deep into you, plugging you up, reveling in the aftermath as every few seconds your walls would pulse around him.

He was completely limp against you, his warm breath in your ear as he panted, trying to recover enough to pull out.

You sighed, trying to catch your breath.

‘Fuck’…. You thought. You really did it this time didn’t you. After months of dreaming about him, touching yourself to thoughts of him, fucking other men wishing it was him…. You finally got him.

You heard Koutarou groan as he slowly stood back up, his fingers kneading into your back as he pulled out, leaving you whining at the loss of him, making him chuckle.

“Come on pretty girl…” he said, turning you around his grasp, his hands gripping your ass as he crouched down to pick you up. “Hop up..”

You hopped and unsurprisingly Bokuto lifted you with ease. Something you’d never have expected to find in a man.

He walked you down the hallway to your bedroom and into your bathroom, sitting you on your large bathroom counter, your back resting against the mirror behind you.

You watched Koutarou grin at his ruffled appearance before moving to wet a hand towel to clean you up.

You allowed your eyes to close, enjoying the feeling of his strong hands taking care of you.

But as Koutarou cleaned you, he couldn’t help but feel regret. He didn’t regret what he did, god no! He’d die a happy man if it meant he could do this every day, hold you every day, fuck you every day, take care of you every day.

The only thing he regretted was that he couldn’t do this everyday. You were young… at least 7 six years younger than himself… probably more. You didn’t want to settle down this early in life, be stuck with some washed up old volleyball player and his kids. He knew that eventually you’d have to leave…. It didn’t matter how much he wanted to keep you… he couldn’t.

You deserved more.

After he finished, he laid you down in your bed, thinking that just because your eyes were closed that you were asleep.

He turned to leave.

“Kou?” you whispered.

He turned around to see you stared at him, your brows drawn together in confusion. He was….leaving?

“It’s okay doll…” He soothed, crouching down to brush his fingers across your forehead.

“Stay.”

********************************************

You sighed, admiring the way Koutarou’s broad back muscles flexed as he moved about the kitchen, the morning light illuminating his skin, highlighting the red scratch marks decorating the length of his back.

‘He’ll have to find a shirt before the kids get up…’ you thought to yourself, for now it was fine though, better than fine if it meant you got to continue ogling the man as he stood in the kitchen preparing saturday pancakes.

You slid off of your barstool, your bare feet walking across the hardwood towards the older man. Your body swaying gently to the sound of frank sinatra playing through the kitchen.

Koutarou chuckled as he felt your gentle frame push up against his back, your cute pudgy arms wrapping around his torso, shamelessly groping at his chest as you pressed kisses against his shoulder blades.

“Dance with me Kou…”

Koutarou laughed again

“‘m too old to dance Doll.”

You scoffed.

“You’re barely 32….sounds like an excuse…” you teased.

“Excuse?” Bokuto mused, turning away from the stove, “never.”

He rested his hands on your hips, indulging you as the two of you began to slowly waltz around the room.

You hummed, resting your face on Kou’s chest.

He looked down at you and smiled.

You deserved the world, you deserved to have everything you could ever wish for, you deserved to have kids that loved you, you deserved a husband that adored you, you deserved everything.

As Koutarou stared down at you, he swore…he would give you everything you deserved.

Don’t be shy bestie…. Tell me how you liked it ;)’

[goldengoddess]

you & the stars - jesper fahey

pairing: jesper fahey x reader 

request: Hii Could I request head-cannons for dating Jesper and getting hurt on a job. I love your work so much !!

a/n: thank you so much<3 oh my god i totally got carried away with this,,, this might be one of my favorite things i’ve written holy fuck so self indulgent because i love jesper with every part of me 

warnings: angst (but comfort at the end), bullet wounds, injury, blood, almost dying, curse words

you saw the blood before you felt the pain in your side. it dripped down your stomach and into your hands. and then came the horrible vision blurring pain that followed. black spots flowered in your vision as you fell to the floor on your knees. you clutched your stomach as if your two hands could stop the bleeding of a bullet hole.

this was meant to be an easy job. it was meant to be in and out. you and the crows had escaped the ice court, the hands of jan van eck, and the capture of multiple countries. a re con mission at a merchant party should have been a joke. it was meant to even be fun.

you had been looking forward to it for weeks. looking forward to dressing up. feeling nice fancy satin on your skin for one beautiful night. being able to see jesper all cleaned up and in a suit.

you had woken up that morning ready to let your fantasy world take over, to pretend that this job was just a date between you and your boyfriend. that you two fit into this world of luxury and ease, and not the world of street fights and bullet wounds.

how wrong your day dreaming had been, you thought to yourself.

you didn’t remember falling to the floor completely, but suddenly your back was pressed onto the street and you could see the night sky above you.

it was pitch black, filled with clouds of smoke and pollution, a staple of ketterdam.

you could vaguely hear voices calling your name in the distance, muffled by the roar of pain your body was in.

where were the stars, you wondered. i need to see the stars.

the tears in your eyes made it hard for you to see but suddenly jesper’s face appeared in your line of vision, followed by inej’s.

a string of curse words left jesper’s mouth as he gently cradled your head and upper body.

inej unwrapped her scarf and pressed it into the wound in your stomach. you winced in pain every time she moved or shook from fear.

“y/n, sweetheart, you have to stay with me” jesper pleaded.

he looked so worn out, so scared. his eyes were wide and sad. his mouth turned into a frown. you hated when jesper didn’t smile, his grin was just too bright for this world.

“please smile for me” you groaned. everything in your body hurt, your vision was blurry, and it was getting harder and harder to form coherent thoughts.

jesper’s frown only deepened as he rubbed your cheek with his thumb, “just stay with me please. i’ll smile for the rest of my life. just stay with me.”

you let out what you hoped was a little whine and not a blood curdling scream.

you guessed it was the latter as both inej and jesper looked at each other with wide eyes.

jesper started screaming nina’s name at the top of his lungs, his voice raw and desperate cracking at the end of each scream.

she won’t get here in time.

you used every ounce of energy your body had left to lift your hand up to jesper’s face.

your touch shocked him and he turned his attention back to your face, you in his arms. he leaned into your hand and you could see tears at the corner of his eyes.

“i love you.” you wheezed out, “i love you so much. you are the best person i’ve ever known. i need you to know that and remember that when i’m not there to tell you.”

his face grew angry at your words and his grip tightened on your body, “no. you are gonna be there. you’re gonna be there for the rest of my stupid life telling me how great i am and sometimes how obnoxious i can be. you are not allowed to die, we aren’t finished.”

you removed your hand from his face. the blood on your hands staining his cheek and shirt. jesper saw the blood on him and let out a small gasp. 

the sky caught your attention again.

no stars.

you wanted stars.

you registered the feeling of being lifted off the ground by jesper, his arms hooked under your knees and supporting you head at the same time.

he was walking as fast as he could without hurting you and every small protest of pain from your mouth squeezed at his heart.

you gripped his shirt, “jesper.”

he looked down at you and even scared and covered in your blood you couldn’t believe how beautiful he looked.

“what baby?” he asked as gently as possible, still moving towards, what you hoped, was the slat.

“the stars aren’t there” you said deliriously, resting your head on his chest, “i want to see the stars.”

“stay awake and i’ll take you to the stars sweetheart. just stay awake.” you heard him say before you closed your eyes and the world went silent.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you opened your eyes and you let out a sigh of relief at the familiar sight and smell of your room at the slat.

you craned your neck to the side, and you were met with nina zenik sitting in a chair with her head in her hands, mumbling prayers and nonsense.

“saints zenik, i never took you for the religious type” you teased, your voice coming out sounding wrong thanks to your scratchy throat.

her head snapped up and she rushed to your bed side, clutching your hand.

“oh you absolute idiot, you are not allowed to do that again. do you hear me?” she threatened.

you let out a little laugh, “or what zenik?”

her eyes got sad all of a sudden and she squeezed your hand gently, like if we squeezed just the right way she could transfer all of her love and strength to you. “im sorry i couldn’t get there earlier. by the time you got to me i thought there was nothing i could do.” she sighed and puffed out her chest slightly, “but this is me we’re talking about so of course i fixed you right up. but i didn’t have time to worry about the beauty of all of it so it’ll leave a pretty nasty scar.”

you nodded your head as she talked. you had assumed as much, everything in your body was sore but you were happy that it wasn’t screaming in pain like before.

“god jesper was about to kill me dead as i worked on you, i swear he was so worried and pissed he would have bitch slapped me right there in front of the crows and- oh my god jesper!?” she shrieked the last part.

she got off the floor and opened the door, “jes! get your ass up here.”

she turned back to you, “y/n he was here the entire time. we finally convinced him to go get something to eat i promise. he’s going to be so angry he wasn’t here when you woke up.”

and even thought you’d almost died, the thought of jesper waiting at your bedside made you blush.

nina noticed and rolled her eyes, “yuck, the two of you are so in love it hurts.”

suddenly jesper was at the door, his breathing labored making it very clear that he had run up the stairs at full speed to get to your room.

nina gave you a small smile before slipping out of the room and closing the door.

jesper was at your side before you could blink. his forehead pressed into your arm as he held the same hand nina had held only a few minutes ago.

he kept repeating “you’re okay” and “i’m so sorry” over and over. and you couldn’t speak. because you couldn’t believe you had this beautiful boy in your life and you were making him worry.

you lifted his head so he was looking at you and you placed your hand on his cheek. you got a horrible sense of deja vu. jesper felt it too because he immediately tensed. you pulled your hand away and when you both saw there was no blood, you put it back.

“jes, you incredible idiot, this is not your fault. you don’t have to say sorry. i’m okay. i’m still here. we are okay.”

you punctuated each word to make him really get it. you couldn’t live with yourself if this moment destroyed the happy boy that you had fallen in love with.

he let out a breath and motioned for you to make room in the bed. you wiggled to one side, wincing a little bit. jesper climbed in and you rested your head on his shoulder as he played with your fingers.

“don’t ever scare me like that again” he grumbled.

you laughed and jokingly responded with “no sorry babe i can’t promise that, i just love getting shot in the stomach. quiet enjoyed it”

he glared at you for a second before laughing with you.

he traced a little heart into your palm with his pointer finger. “you’re my favorite person in this world. i couldn’t live without you.”

“then you’re lucky you don’t have to” you hummed in response.

“yeah i am, who would annoy the crap out of me if not” he teased.

you giggled into his shoulder and left a little kiss.

“when you’re feeling better, you know, not on the brink of death by bullet, i’m going to take you to novyi zem.” you looked up at him, shocked because jesper had never suggested visiting his home country. but he was still looking at your fingers like his life depended on it. “we’re going to spend a week at my da’s farm and we’ll stay up all night looking at the stars and making up stories.” he said. it didn’t sound like a request but more like a plea. like he had to give this to you.

you only vaguely recalled mentioning the stars and jesper holding you in his arms but you nodded your head anyways.

“as much as i’m incredibly excited for that, i already have the brightest star right here.” you grinned, tapping his nose.

he rolled his eyes and kissed the crown of your head, “cheesy sweetheart. even for you.”

[professorrw]

Hey could I please request a LokixReader story set on Sakaar where they have an enemies to friends to lovers relationship? Lots of fluff and smut if that’s okay. Thank you xxxx

Lord have mercy is this long. I love the request (probably a little too much). I have to warn you before reading, it's 6.6K words, the longest fic I've written yet. BUT I love it. I'm really proud of it!

Pairing: female reader x Loki

Requested: Yes

Warnings: smut, 18+, praise, unprotected sex, fingering, enemies to friends to lovers, fluff, fighting (Hulk and Thor), spoilers for Thor Ragnarok, takes place during Ragnarok

A/N: And with this finished I'm going to take a day to myself tomorrow! I'm not feeling very well and I want to catch up on my series because I've been neglecting it. Requests open, taglist open, inbox open! Please like, comment, and reblog!

You could ask anyone on Sakaar who the Grandmaster’s favorite person was and they would say it was you. You grew up on the trash planet with your father, who was a reject from his home planet. But on Sakaar you were basically royalty. Your father befriended the million year old Grandmaster when you were just two and from then on you were living in the lap of luxury.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been on Sakaar, but it had been a few hundred years. You didn’t look that old, more like twenty to thirty. But there was no way to be certain with the way that time worked on Sakaar.

Your life was perfect in your opinion. You and your father were happy and healthy on the trash planet. Every day you would dress in your finest silk robes, adorn your flashy face paint, and go to the arena to watch fights. When you weren’t doing that you were in your home or with the Grandmaster, who was basically a second father to you.

It was the end of the day and you were eating dinner with the Grandmaster, your father, and some other ‘royalty.’ As typical with all meals held by the Grandmaster it was full of excited and animated talking and extravagant food. You were too busy drinking your wine to engage in conversation, unlike your father who hadn’t touched his plate in favor of speaking to the man next to him.

Your father was a very social man, probably why the Grandmaster took such a liking to him. They were equally as flamboyant and outgoing. the Grandmaster often remarked how much you looked like your father. You had the same hair color, eye color and shape, and skin tone. Though you couldn’t tell your father’s true hair color anymore because it had started greying, contrary to the rest of his body that wasn’t aging as quickly.

There was a knock at the dining room door and the Grandmaster called for whoever it was to come in. The noise had drawn everyones’ attention, and all eyes were on the man that was being escorted in. He was tall, with fair skin and raven black hair. He was the most attractive man you had seen in a while. He didn’t look like a lot of the men you saw, but he still looked elegant.

“Who is this?” the Grandmaster asked.

Instead of waiting for the guards to speak, the detainee spoke, “I am Loki, God of Mischief and Prince of Asgard. I would like to say right now that it is a mistake imprisoning me and I will forget all about it if you let me go right now.” Loki spoke swiftly and with an accent foreign to many you heard normally. He had a very charming speech but you were in utter shock at the way he had spoken to the Grandmaster.

You expected the Grandmaster to order the guards to throw him in with the other gladiators and make him go against the champion, but he actually laughed, followed by everyone else in the room other than you.

“Well, Loki, I suppose I don’t need to make you fight. You can keep me company instead. How does that sound?”

It must not have been what Loki was expecting because he raised his eyebrows and said nothing for several seconds. “I think that would be fine,” he finally responded.

“Good, good. Why don’t you take that off him so he can pull up a chair?” the Grandmaster said to the guards. They did as he ordered and unshackled the dark haired man. As soon as he was free he grabbed a chair and planted right in between the Grandmaster and you. Loki sat down and gazed at you, offering a dazzling smile.

You squinted at him for a moment, sizing him up. You knew he was going to be trouble, to you at least.

“Ah Loki, please meet Y/N. She’s like a daughter to me,” the Grandmaster said to him.

“Hello Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” His words were so obviously a lie that it made you scowl. You could hear the sarcasm seeping from his words. You could tell that he was already trying to butter up the Grandmaster. But in actuality he was trying not to get himself killed. Thor was nowhere to be found and he was on this planet by himself.

“Likewise,” you said back. You turned away from the men and started eating your meal, pointedly ignoring Loki as you did so. You could hear their conversation and it was almost impossible not to eavesdrop. The Grandmaster was mostly talking about himself, all things that you’d already heard before. Loki, when given the chance to talk, was just complimenting him in return.

When the meal was over and the dishes were collected the Grandmaster addressed your father. “My dear Holden, would you house my company for the time being?”

You whipped your head over to the Grandmaster. You couldn’t believe the words that had just come from his mouth. You couldn’t believe he was asking you and your father to let Loki stay with you. But your father being your father would have no problem with it. You just knew he was going to accept.

As you expected he said, “Why of course, the more the merrier.”

Your house was incredibly close to the palace. There really was no need for guards to escort you and your father home but the Grandmaster thought it was necessary. So after dinner you, your father, and Loki made your way to your home. It was very beautiful, and almost as grand as the palace itself, but much smaller.

Your father was in high spirits as usual. Once you were inside your father turned to Loki with a brilliant smile adorning his face. "We are delighted to have you. Please follow me, you can sleep here in the guest bedroom. Y/N is right next door so you can go to her if you need anything."

You looked at your father with a deadpan expression, which he didn't seem to notice. Loki on the other hand was positively beaming back at your father.

"Thank you so much for the hospitality. I really cannot thank you enough."

Your father chuckled, "It's no trouble at all. Any guest of the Grandmaster's is a guest of mine. So please, make yourself at home."

"Thank you again. I am quite tired so I think I'll be heading to bed. Goodnight Holden, goodnight Y/N." He bowed and went to his chambers without another word.

You looked incredulously at your father but he seemed to not have a care in the world. He was awfully aloof when it came to matters dealing with the Grandmaster. Your father and the Grandmaster had a complicated relationship. You really had no clue what was going on with them. They called each other dear and said they loved each other, but you had seen the Grandmaster and your father doing a fair share of flirting with many men and women.

You walked to your own room with a heavy sigh. You stayed up for a few hours that night wondering about the man next door.

You quickly realized that the Grandmaster had taken a liking to Loki. The next morning you, your father, and Loki were having breakfast with the Grandmaster and Loki was hanging onto every word that came out of the man's mouth. You just knew that Loki didn't care. But what you want to know are his intentions. He randomly shows up on your planet and instantly catches the Grandmaster's attention.

You spend most of the morning with your father, preferring his company to the Grandmaster and his new pet. The next time you saw him was at lunch. And just like at dinner the previous night Loki was sitting right next to the Grandmaster. Instead of enduring the empty compliments that were coming from Loki you decided to sit farther down the table next to another one of your father's friends.

"Hello Marridija," you said as you sat down. Marridija was a very kind woman. Kind and very up to date on all the goings on at the palace. It was no surprise that she was close to the Grandmaster.

"Why hello Y/N. You aren't sitting at the front of the table today?" Her drawn-on eyebrows drew in and she tilted her head to the side slightly, making you worry that her hair, which was styled heavily with spray to keep it straight up, would tip over and ruin. Over the many years on Sakaar you had grown accustomed to the wild fashion in the palace. Everyone in the Grandmaster's group wore metallic face paint and did their hair as tall and elaborate as possible.

Out of everyone at the table Marridija had the craziest hair and brightest makeup. She always made sure she was seen in a crowd. Her hair was bubble gum pink and looked like cotton candy on top of her head. Her makeup was many bright streaks of pink, blue, and gold.

"No, not today. I thought I might try something new."

"Oh. Well I'm delighted that you decided to sit by me. I've been meaning to ask-" her eyes cut from you to something over your shoulder before returning to talking, "about your company last night."

You clenched your jaw for a second before you answered her. "What would you like to know?"

"Well… the whole palace wants to know about this mysterious man. Loki, he said." She was speaking in a hushed voice so no one other than you could hear her. If anyone heard her they would most definitely be listening in. But Marridija was good at being quiet when she needed to be. She wanted to be the first with fresh gossip, and for that she would have to hear it before anyone else.

“There isn’t much to tell really. As soon as we got home he went off to his bedroom.”

The woman narrowed her eyes for a second before giving a huff. “Oh Y/N, you won’t give an old lady a bit of juice now will you?” Her face changed from a pout to a sly smile a few seconds after she said that. “Or is there something you don’t want to share with me? A secret of your own perhaps?”

“Absolutely not Marridija. What I’ve told you is the truth. I’m sorry I have nothing juicy enough for your ears.”

You turned away from the woman and forward towards the table and the meal being set in front of you. Through the whole of breakfast you remained silent, listening to the chatter around you. There always seemed to be something to talk about on Sakaar, but with Loki’s arrival and the Grandmaster’s liking towards him has made Loki the center of attention.

After breakfast the guests were clearing out of the dining hall. The Grandmaster had dismissed everyone and he and Loki were the last to leave. You stuck around and when the Grandmaster went to use the restroom and left Loki unoccupied you walked up to him. A smile appeared on his face as he saw your smaller frame scowling at him as you neared. For whatever reason he was quite enjoying how frustrated he was making you, though he didn’t know what exactly was making you mad.

“Hello Y/N,” he greeted.

“Don’t act all innocent. You’re up to something.”

Loki’s eyebrows shot up but his smile remained. “And what would that be?”

“Well I’ve come to find that out.” You crossed your arms and planted your feet in front of Loki. It wasn’t your best look but you wanted to intimidate him. You knew it wasn’t going to be easy. He was taller than you and obviously confident enough to tell the Grandmaster it was a mistake to imprison him.

“I’m sorry to burst your bubble, as they say, but I don’t have anything planned. I landed here by mistake.” Loki said the words so simply you just couldn’t believe it. If he was telling the truth then it would take more than that to convince you.

“And why should I believe you?”

“Well I suppose you shouldn’t. You don’t know me, you don’t know my past or all the things I’ve done. Maybe we could spend some time together and you’ll realize I’m being honest.”

Loki wasn’t entirely sure why he said that last part. He had never offered to let someone get to know him. But a part of him also wanted someone to be able to talk to since he was all alone on a planet he was an outsider on. And it helped that he thought you were incredibly attractive.

You on the other hand didn’t know what to make of his words. If you accepted you might be falling right into his trap, into his plan. But on the other hand maybe he was being genuine. It surely wouldn’t hurt to find out more about him. If he was lying then you could possibly find out his intentions. So you thought the only logical decision would be to accept.

“Fine. After dinner we’ll go to my home and we can… get to know each other. But only because I want to know if you’re telling the truth.”

He laughed, “Of course, of course. See you then.”

The door you were standing next to opened and the Grandmaster himself walked out. He clasped his hands together and a smile appeared on his face. “Y/N! Thank you for keeping Loki company. Are you two getting along?”

You and Loki glanced at each other. There was no way you were going to say no, both of you had common sense. So you both put on a smile and looked as comfortable as possible.

“We are!” Loki said first. He put a huge grin on his face and leaned towards you, draping an arm around your shoulder. The sudden touch almost made you recoil, but if you did that it would look strange to the man that had just questioned your relationship.

“Well Loki and I should be going. I’ll see you at supper gorgeous.” The Grandmaster wiggled his fingers at you with an award winning smile. Loki took his arm off you and started following after him when the Grandmaster began to walk away. A hole might have been burnt into the back of Loki’s head from your staring. He was so puzzling. Irksome even.

The footsteps eventually faded as they walked further and further away from you and closer to wherever it was they were going. Your own slippered feet padded against the floor of the palace as you made your way down to the bottom level, outside, and safely in your home. It was a shame that most of the people your age were bounty hunters. You were all in all lonely. Maybe that’s what led you to agree to getting to know Loki.

You assumed he was around your age. He claimed to be a god after all, so he must be more than the average person.

Dinner rolled around and you went to the palace to eat as you did everyday. Loki was there. Though you knew he would be. You weren’t used to his presence just yet, so every time you saw him you were still slightly surprised. You were used to being around the ‘royalty’ of Sakaar for years and attending the same mundane events all the time. Loki was something new, something fresh. That’s why he was such a buzz on Sakaar. Especially when he made such an impression on the Grandmaster.

After the meal you went home and waited for Loki. You knew he would have to tell the Grandmaster some excuse for him to leave, so he was going to be a few minutes behind you.

Ten minutes after you had arrived home the door opened and Loki walked in. You couldn't help but laugh when you saw the exasperated expression on his face. You knew just how tiring the Grandmaster could be. Upon hearing the ring of your laughter Loki smiled. It was the first time he heard you make that sound and thought it was beautiful.

He slung his hair out of his face and slid into the white bar stool next to you at the kitchen island. You already had two glasses of champagne ready for the two of you. Assuming you would need it.

"What did you have to tell him to let you leave?" you asked, raising the glass to your lips.

"Well I told him I was tired and he just laughed it off then I said I was having an upset stomach and wasn't doing so well down there and he let me go."

Neither of you could hold back laughter. You were the first to start cracking up and seeing your reaction influenced Loki's joyous noise. The atmosphere was smooth and laid back. In preparation you had a drink beforehand, hence why you were so calm. Loki's smile and infectious attitude were also to blame.

In the time span of lunch and coming home you realized how ridiculous you were being. You had only just met Loki yesterday and you were already trying to accuse him of trying to harm the creator of your planet.

Once the laughter had died down you set your glass on the countertop and turned to Loki. "I'm sorry for how I've acted towards you. I haven't treated you fairly or given you a chance at all. I started jumping to conclusions and that was wrong of me. So I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me."

“Wow- I- Yes I can forgive you. I understand where you were coming from. You care about the Grandmaster and don't want him to be in danger. I think that’s very noble of you.” The corners of Loki’s eyes crinkled up as he looked at you with a soft smile.

“Well… thank you. I’m glad we’re on good terms.” You gave him an awkward smile and took another sip of your drink. Loki picked up his own and took a sip of it.

"So your father and the Grandmaster… are they together?" he asked once his glass was empty.

“I’m not entirely sure. They’re relationship is complicated. I know they call each other love and darling but they also flirt and do things with other people too.” You cringed at the memory of coming home and hearing your father with one of his friends. But beside you Loki let out a chuckle. He was really enjoying getting to see this new side of you.

With a final tip of your flute you had finished your drink. Looking over you realized that Loki had too, so you stood and refilled it.

“I just realized I didn’t ask you if you wanted another glass,” you said when you had finished pouring.

He waved you off. “Don’t worry, I do.”

You slid his flute across the counter and leaned on it, not bothering to go back around to sit on the stool again. “So, you said that you ended up here by accident… what did you mean by that?”

“Ah, trying to find out if I’m lying again? I thought this was behind us,” he said.

“I’m not asking because of that. It is behind us. I want to know more about you and what you were doing before you got to Sakaar.”

He nodded. “Well I was with my brother. Though I don’t know why he hasn’t gotten here yet.”

“Time works differently here,” you interjected. “So if you both came through at the same time he might get here later than you did.”

“Ah okay, well that explains it then. Anyways, I was with my brother, Thor. My sister, Hela, has cast us out of Asgard and we need to get back there and defeat her. We don’t stand a chance though,” he explained.

“If you need help getting there then I’m sure my father and I can be of assistance.”

“I think I should wait for Thor to arrive, whenever that is…” he trailed off.

“He could show up any day. But while you’re here you can hang out with me.” “When you’re not with the Grandmaster that is,” you added.

“I don’t know how often I’ll be able to get away from him but I’ll definitely try.”

The last drops of your champagne slid down your throat as you smiled against your glass. You were really looking forward to getting to spend time with Loki.

For the next few days after that you guys were together any chance you got. The Grandmaster was keeping Loki close, but he was able to make up excuses to come see you when he could. Loki was like a breath of fresh air in your life. His life was a lot different than yours, but you found yourselves relating in multiple ways.

Every time you two were together all you could do was smile. It was like you had found your first true friend. But you knew that when Thor came that Loki would be leaving. Even though it was wrong you hoped that Thor wouldn’t arrive for a while just so you could have more time together.

It was a little over a week since Loki had arrived and you were laying next to each other on your leisure ship, staring up at the stars.

“It’s beautiful, everything here is,” Loki whispered. You were looking straight above you but when Loki was speaking he had turned his head towards you.

“It’s strange isn’t it? It’s called the trash or garbage planet but it’s dazzling if you take the time to look around.” When you finished speaking you rolled your head to the side to look at Loki. The whole time you were speaking he was memorizing every part of your face with a smile on his own. When you saw him smiling you shyly smiled too.

Without you realizing Loki reached his hand over and found yours. When he did he took it and interlocked your fingers. You looked down at your entwined hands. Your heart was racing and butterflies were filling your stomach.

No words were spoken, it was just the two of you underneath a blanket of twinkling stars wishing for something more. Loki’s hand was warm in yours, and you wished that same warmth would envelop your whole body. You scooted over closer and closer to the man until he wrapped his arm around you.

“This is nice,” you mumbled against his chest.

“It is. I like having you in my arms,” Loki whispered back.

You let your eyes close and the warmth and blissful feeling take over you. You woke up in bed, wrapped up in your covers. The sun was shining and filtering through your windows and splaying out on your floor. You thought back to last night and remembered you must have fallen asleep, which meant Loki must have taken you home and carried you to bed.

You walked out of your bedroom and stood right outside your door. You weren’t sure what time it was. It was morning that was obvious. Maybe it was early enough that Loki hadn’t been summoned by the Grandmaster yet. You walked over to the bedroom next to your own and knocked on the door.

“Come in,” Loki called out.

You opened the door and gently shut it back when you entered. Loki was still in bed but he was awake.

“Good morning beautiful,” he greeted you.

A tired smile went across your face as you sat down on Loki’s bed. He reached out to you and pulled you into him, setting you flush against his frame and placing a kiss on top of your head.

“How did you sleep?” he asked.

“I slept well. Thank you for bringing me back home.”

“It was my pleasure.” Loki tilted his head down and kissed the top of your head once more. His actions were so sweet you were feeling things you had never felt before. It was wild to you how quickly you had fallen for the God of Mischief.

After laying together for a few minutes there was a knock at the front door. You sighed and got out of Loki’s bed. The guards had arrived to escort Loki and you to breakfast with the Grandmaster. You both hurriedly got dressed and left to start your day.

For another two weeks things ran smoothly. You were happy. Loki was making you happy. But you knew that the day that Thor would arrive was approaching. It had been three weeks since Loki himself had fallen onto the planet, meaning his brother was not far behind.

You were sitting with Loki and mingling with other people in one of the palace rooms when Scrapper 142 announced she found someone. 142 was Grandmaster’s favorite scrapper. She brought him his champion after all. The person she had brought came into the room in the usual reinforced chair that all contenders usually did.

Loki was sitting next to you not paying any attention and neither were you until the man started yelling Loki’s name. You looked at him with confusion before you realized, it must be Thor.

When Thor finally got Loki’s attention he immediately stopped talking and got up. They were whispering back and forth fervently until the Grandmaster came up to them and interjected. They talked for a minute before Thor was thrown into the holding area for gladiators.

“That was your brother wasn’t it? Thor?” you asked when Loki came back over to you.

“Yes, yes it was.” He lowered himself back onto the couch and stayed quiet.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I just… wasn’t expecting him.”

“Oh, okay.” You nodded. Not only did you understand but you felt the same way. You hoped maybe Thor would show up later, and give you more time. But no. He was there and when given the chance he was definitely going to leave. But that wouldn’t be too soon. If he was fighting the Grandmaster’s champion he may never leave. You had seen the green monster in action and he was brutal.

Later that day you and Loki were sitting in the upper class stands at the Grand Arena watching the fights. Loki was constantly wiping his palms on his pants and his leg was bouncing up and down. He had never seen the champion fight but you had told him how ferocious he was and that made Loki nervous.

The Grandmaster announced Thor and when he came out onto the dirt the crowd was filled with ‘boos’ and other jeers. The ring around the bottom of the stadium begins to rise to accommodate the height of Thor's opponent and the Grandmaster started to announce him.

“Ladies and gentlemen I give you… your Incredible…” he trailed off, or at least you thought he did because before he could say the actual name the fighter burst through the doors and yelled, “HULK!”

The blood drained from Loki’s face next to you. “I’ve got to get off this planet,” he mumbled.

“Why what’s wrong?” you asked, worried.

“The Grandmaster’s champion is an Avenger, just like Thor. And he’s defeated me.”

Down on the dirt Thor had looked up into your box and was yelling, “We know each other! He’s a friend from work.”

The Grandmaster’s mouth dropped open and he looked over at Loki, who was staring straight forward and clearing his throat.

Thor was making small talk with Hulk before you heard him look over and shout again, “Loki! Look who it is!”

You’d never seen Loki so nervous and afraid. You reached over and placed a hand on his arm. “It’ll be okay.”

Down below Hulk was tired of hearing Thor talk and started running towards him. The fight was in full force and Loki was getting more nervous by the second. Hulk was in it to win it, and he wasn’t sure if his brother would be able to make it out. Surprisingly Thor was able to hit Hulk, sending him all across the barrier on the arena. The crowd was silent as Thor neared Hulk. He placed his hand in Hulk’s massive one and started speaking, but you couldn’t tell what he was saying.

They weren’t fighting and everyone was still and watching. Then Hulk grabbed Thor and swung him back and forth, hitting him against the ground countless times. Loki jumped up, startling you, and shouted, “Yes that’s how it feels!”

The Grandmaster looked over at him questionably and Loki responded with, “I’m just a huge fan of the sport.” The Grandmaster didn’t say anything, just turned back toward the arena and laughed.

Loki sat back down and you looked at him with your eyebrows raised, “What was that about?”

“Well… Hulk did that to me a few years ago.”

“Really?” you laughed.

“Yes. It wasn’t one of my finest moments,” he chuckled. You both settled back down on the couch and focused on the match again. The fight progressed and favor switched between Hulk and Thor for a minute or two. The Grandmaster and Loki were leaning in and cringing depending on the blow and who it had landed on. But things weren’t looking good for Thor. Hulk had him pinned down and was beating him to death.

Blow after blow was pounding down right on Thor’s face. Then something happened. You strained your eyes to see that Thor’s eyes began to glow and lighting began to glow and crackle all around his body. He seemed to gather his strength for a second, wind back his hand and land a punch right to Hulk, sending him flying with an arch of lightning, resulting in a collective gasp from the stands.

Hulk collapsed yards away from Thor. The Grandmaster raised out of his seat, stepped forward and stared at the scene below you. The crowd was murmuring and whispering all kinds of things. You looked over at Loki, who had his elbows propped up on his knees with his mouth wide open.

Thor and Hulk both stood up and ran towards each other, jumping and then hitting one another. It was like a mini-explosion where Thor’s fist collided with Hulk. You were on the edge of your seat. It seemed like Thor could win. The crowd sure seemed to think so because they were chanting, “Thunder! Thunder! Thunder!”

Your full attention was drawn on the arena and a perplexed expression crossed your face when Thor violently shook and then fell to the ground. You looked around and saw the Grandmaster pointing his activator down at Thor, activating his Obedience Disk. You couldn’t believe it. If the Grandmaster wouldn’t have interfered then Thor could have won. He could be freed.

The Grandmaster stood up with a smile and started his projection onto the center of the arena, “Well done! Well done! Two very good fighters, but it looks like my champion has defended his title once again. Thank you everyone for attending today, I hope to see you at the next battle!”

His projection disappeared and people started to file out of the stands. You could tell by the silence that followed that the Grandmaster wasn’t too happy. He walked out of the room followed by guards, leaving everyone else alone. Loki was leaning back on the couch next to you slack-jawed.

“That wasn’t fair,” you breathed out.

He shook his head, “No, no it wasn’t.”

“At least he didn’t die. He should be okay for now,” you said, talking about Thor.

“Thank god.”

You and Loki returned home and sat down on the living room couch. You never got the chance to talk about Thor’s arrival but now no one else was around.

“You might be leaving soon,” you said.

“I may.” Loki reached his hand over and took one of yours in his. You couldn’t mistake the sadness in his voice.

“I won’t make you stay. If you need to go then you should.” You looked at Loki with pure earnestness in your eyes. It hurt to say it, but if Loki and his brother needed to leave then you didn’t want to be the reason they didn’t.

“Y/N I don’t want to go. I want to stay here… with you.”

“What about your sister? Didn’t you say she was trying to take over Asgard, your home?” you questioned with a soft voice.

“Yes but- we don’t stand a chance. If we go we’ll only die. There’s no hope for us.”

You faced your whole body towards him and dipped your head down so Loki could see your face. “You don’t know that. You’re strong and I know you aren’t a coward.”

He stayed quiet but squeezed your hand and met your eyes.

“If you need to go, don’t let me hold you back,” you repeated.

Loki strained up and gave a stern look forward as he nodded his head. “You’re right. I do need to go. Asgard is my home.” He bent his head towards you and spoke, “But I want to make my time with you count.” He leaned in and tilted his head, eyes trained on your lips. You also leaned in and closed your eyes, letting yourself dissolve into the tender kiss.

It heated up quickly, pants filling the air between you every time you parted. You crawled on top of him, straddling his lap. His hands glided from your shoulder blades to your butt, caressing you.

You pulled away and opened your eyes for a second, your face only inches from his. “Should we take this to my room?”

“Yes, we should.” Loki raised up, holding you in his arms and carrying you to your room. You slid out of his arms right in front of the foot of your bed. He started undressing, pulling off his cape, boots, and other components of his complicated outfit. Yours was much easier to get off. All you did was kick off your slippers and undo your dress in the back and let it pool at your feet.

The whole process took a few minutes and you giggled when you had to help Loki undress.

“This is a mood killer,” Loki sighed.

“It’s okay,” you giggled. You pulled off the last garment including Loki’s underwear and he turned around to let you see him. He was so beautiful, every single thing about him. You could definitely believe he was a god, because he sure looked like one. Your wandering eyes made him chuckle, but he couldn’t say anything because he was doing the same.

His hands hovered over your hips, almost like he was afraid to touch you or else you would crumble in front of him. You smiled up Loki and put your hands over his, guiding them to your bare skin. He sharply inhaled as he felt how smooth and warm your skin was. He let out a small laugh in disbelief. He couldn’t imagine himself ever being so lucky as to have you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down to kiss you. He lifted you up again and walked over to your bed until his knees hit the edge. He crawled on and lowered you down onto the fluffy pillows. Your body was on display for him and he was completely swooning over you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered in awe.

“And you,” you reached up and pulled him closer to you by his shoulders, “are very handsome.”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Since he was already down there he crept lower and lower, placing gentle kisses from your cheek all the way down to your lower stomach. Your breath hitched as his breath fanned over your vagina. He gave it a small kiss before he leaned back. He replaced his mouth with his fingers, sliding them up and down your folds before inserting one.

He surveyed your face as he began to curl his finger making you start moaning quietly.

“Does it feel good?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes,” you moaned out.

He smiled and continued to work you up, building the pressure inside your lower stomach. You couldn’t keep your eyes open. You tried to, but with all the new feelings going on you were squeezing them shut. Loki frowned and cupped your cheek with his hand, rubbing it with his thumb.

“Princess, will you look at me?” he asked. You opened your eyes and did as he asked. You kept your eyes open but your lids were only half open.

You loved the way his fingers felt but you wanted more- you wanted him. “Loki- Loki I want you inside me.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

He pulled his fingers out and wrapped that hand around his cock, pumping it and getting it ready to be inside you. He spread your legs further than they already were and walked forward on his knees until his tip was right against your entrance. You put his hand around it and guided it in slowly, letting you adjust to the length.

Your hands were on either side of your pillow and you were squeezing it. It wasn’t very painful, but it didn’t feel right to just have your hands open, so you clenched them around your silk pillowcase. Loki saw them and put his own hands on top of yours. As he rolled his hips into you that’s what kept him stable.

“Darling, you make me feel-” he moaned, “so good.”

The inside of you was warm and velvety, encasing his dick in a personal heaven. In just a few minutes he knew what was going to come. Him.

Loki was making you feel just as good as you were making him, if not better. You weren’t a virgin. You had lived long enough to want men and take them back home with you. But none of them were making you feel the way Loki was. He knew exactly what to do, what pace to go at, and all the right words to say. The gentle moans and vulnerable face were so beautiful above you that tears were staining your cheeks.

Worry crossed Loki’s face, he thought you were hurting. “Are you okay?” he asked quickly.

“I’m fine, you’re just- you’re so beautiful.”

He choked out a laugh and regained his original pace. The compliment had warmed his entire body. He was on cloud nine. There was a growing sensation in his lower region and he could feel his orgasm coming.

“I’m about to cum,” he panted.

“Go ahead darling, cum for me,” you returned. His eyes widened but he went ahead, cock stiffening before releasing his cum.

You moaned, head falling to the side from the buzz traveling through your body. You arched your back in an attempt to hurry your own orgasm along. You could feel it approaching but it couldn’t get there soon enough for you. Loki thrusted faster and tried to hit that spot that he knew you had. He succeeded, and an overwhelming pleasure drifted through you.

Your walls clenched around his dick and your own juices squirted out. You sniffed and wiped your tears, opening your eyes to see Loki’s face in complete and utter amazement. You laughed a little as he pulled out of you and rolled over to be by your side.

“What was that face for?” you asked.

“That was the best I’ve ever felt. You are… perfect in every way.”

“I feel the same about you.” You turned on your side and placed a hand on his cheek, just like he had done to you a few minutes prior.

He nuzzled closer to you, putting his face in the crook of your neck. “I’ll come back for you. I promise,” he whispered.

“I’ll be waiting,” you responded while stroking his hair.

Taglist: @deanscroissant

[maletfsstories]

The International ("Soju 🇰🇷")

Requested By linxiaopei

"Newcastle"

-"You are here" Said Matt’s boss in a drunken tone as Matt walked towards the table his boss and some coworkers were seated in.

-"Jesus Christ how much have you guys drunk already" Said Matt as he sat down and observed a mountain of empty shots and beer mugs.

 

-"Not enough and you haven’t had any yet" One of Matt’s coworkers said as he continued drinking from his mug.

-"If you guys forgot I'm the one driving all of you home so I can't drink" Said Matt rather tired as he wanted to be at home instead of in a bar filled with drunk and obnoxious people.

-"Just buy yourself one and bring us another round of beers" Said Matt's boss as he passed him a coupon for a free drink.

 

Matt begrudgingly got up from his seat and walked towards a small area where a female bartender was passing a few drinks to a waiter.

-"Hello Sir how may I help you?" Asked the bartender as she pushed a menu in front of Matt.

Matt turned around and counted the number of people that were seated around his boss.

 

-"Could you give me four pints of beer please?" Said Matt as he looked back towards the bartender.

-"Sure" Said the bartender as she rapidly started to fill four large glass mugs with beer.

-"You seem a little stressed sir, are you alright?" Said the bartender once she noticed Matt's blatantly obvious impatient demeanor.

 

-"Sorry, the thing is that I shouldn't be here at all" Said Matt with a little bit of anger in his voice.

-"Same here, today is my first day on the job and I already want to call it quits" Said the bartender as she placed the first mug of beer in front of Matt.

-"Why haven't you?" Asked Matt

-“Even though I don't like large crowds and this bar is the worst I at least get more than the minimum wage” Said the bartender as she placed the second mug of beer in front of Matt.

 

-"So are you going to continue working here for the rest of your life?" Asked Matt

-"Not at all, I'm working here to pay for my studies, unlike the rest of my family I prefer to work for my stuff” said the bartender as she placed the third mug of beer in front of Matt.

-"Your family is rich?" asked Matt with little intrigue in his voice.

 

-"Yup, they are a bunch of snobbish idiots, my father doesn't work because he inherited a lot of money from our estate and my brother is an influencer who wins a lot of money by posting revealing images of his gym routines on his Instagram" Said the bartender as she stopped filling the last mug of beer and turned back to face Matt directly.

-“Wow, I can't imagine you see your family very often" Said Matt

-“No I don’t, my father lives in our family estate which I don’t normally visit and my brother is currently traveling around the world with his group of roided meatheads”. Said the bartender as she rolled her eyes.

 

-"It must be a fun life, kind of wish mine was like that" Said Matt with a little bit of melancholy in his voice

-"It does seem desirable but I frankly believe in working hard for one’s stuff" Said the bartender with a smile on her face.

-"What are you studying?" Asked Matt as he made himself comfortable in a small seat placed in front of the bartender's workstation.

 

-'' I'm studying accounting at Newcastle University" Said the bartender.

-"Well I'm an accountant ..." Said Matt with a small amount of surprise in his voice.

-"Really? How is the job? I mean I love the classes I'm seeing but I don't know anything about how to apply them in a real-life scenario" Said the bartender with a glee in her eyes.

 

-"Well I've been an accountant for the last five years and believe me when I say that the scenarios in class are way easier than the ones I've experienced in the job, it's hard and complicated but I still kind of like what I do" Said Matt in an attempt to reassure the bartender's career choice.

-"Why are you taking so much!"

Matt turned around and saw his drunk boss moving slowly towards him.

 

-"Sorry I was just speaking to the bartender," Said Matt as his boss leaned on the bar, meanwhile the bartender immediately completed filling the last mug of beer and placed it in front of Matt.

Matt's boss looked at the four beers and immediately frowned -"Where the hell is yours?" He asked.

-"Sir I can't drink I'm driving you and everyone else home" said Matt in an attempt to stop his boss's insistence.

-"Nonsense, just drink a small bit, that's all I'm asking from you" Matt's boss said as he moved closer towards him.

Matt momentarily looked at the bartender as she grabbed the smallest glass size possible, while she was doing that Matt looked at the menu that had been placed earlier in front of him.

In the meantime, Matt's boss rapidly drank his beer and walked away toward his table with the other three that were left.

-"Is this good?" Asked the Bartender as she showed Matt the small glass, Matt immediately looked up and nodded.

-"Do you have something that is similar to vodka but isn't that powerful?" Asked Matt as his boss approached him again.

-"Well, we do have Soju, it's from South Korea and it's in a way an exact match to Vodka, the only difference is that it's mildly less alcoholic, will that do?" Asked the bartender.

-"Please give me one in the small glass you showed me earlier" Said Matt as his boss was now standing next to him.

-"What did you order?" Asked Matt's boss.

-"I ordered some vodka" Lied Matt.

-"Wow Matt, I thought you didn't want to get drunk tonight" Said Matt's boss as he laughed like a clown.

In the meantime, the Bartender had poured Matt's drink from a small green bottle with Korean lettering onto a small transparent glass.

-"I hope you enjoy it sir" Said the Bartender as she placed the drink in front of Matt.

-"Here goes nothing" Though Matt as he swallowed every drop of Soju in an instant, because of this he immediately felt a burning sensation in his throat, luckily it wasn't as bad as the one produced by drinking vodka.

Matt then gave the empty glass to the Bartender and looked at his boss. -"Are you happy now?" Asked Matt with a little sarcasm in his voice.

-"Where is the fun in only one?" Asked Matt's boss.

-"You can't be serious, do you want me to get arrested" Said Matt in a raised tone of voice as he was tired of being pushed around by his middle age child of a boss.

-"Don't you dare to speak to me that way, I'm your boss, if you don't drink another shot I'll fucking fire you" Said Matt's boss in an aggressive tone.

Matt momentarily looked at the bartender who had a sad expression on her face while still having the green bottle of soju between her hands.

-"Another one please," said Matt as he finally relented to his boss's order.

The bartender immediately grabbed the empty glass and filled it with the crystalline liquid -"Here you are sir" said the bartender as she passed the drink to Matt.

As Matt grabbed the glass and drank its contents he wished he could end it all, to have a new life where he didn't have a boss or any type of responsibilities.

Once Matt placed the empty glass in front of him the bar where he was in seemed to disappear and was rapidly replaced by the interior of a luxury hotel room.

-"What the hell" Said Matt in a worried tone as he was about to get up from the bed he had suddenly materialized in, before Matt could completely get out of the bed a strange pain made his stop.

This pain was due to Matt's five feet nine stature increasing to six feet three, while that was happening Matt's slim build changed into a more muscular one. His flat chest developed a pair of juicy and muscled pecs, down below in Matt's stomach a few small tires of fat were rapidly removed out of existed which left him with a flat surface that was rapidly replaced by the growth of a six-pack.

Meanwhile, in Matt's skinny arms his biceps, triceps, and forearms grew as new muscle mass filled them, a few veins also appeared here and there, as that was happening Matt's back also became incredibly shredded.

While all the changes to Matt's upper body were occurring all the healthy patches of hair that covered the majority of his body disappeared leaving him completely waxed.

As the majority of Matt's upper body had gone through a certain amount of changes the next area to change was his lower body.

At first in Matt's pelvic area his equipment grew larger and larger. This made him immediately aroused as a moan escaped from his mouth, this moan however was very masculine and in a way, it sounded like that of a huge beast.

When Matt's dick reached the ten-inch mark his ass became the next target of the changes, it grew until what was left was a perfect round and bouncy bubble, then Matt's thighs and calves grew larger leaving him with a pair of powerful legs.

Because of the new growth in muscles around Matt's body, his clothes became extremely strained, as Matt suddenly moved his clothes finally gave in, they broke into small pieces which immediately disappeared, the larger pieces which were still attached to his body also disappeared leaving him completely naked.

A few seconds after Matt's clothes had disappeared a pair of black underwear and black swimming shorts now covered his private area while still leaving his upper body completely exposed.

-"Shit" Said Matt out loud as he noticed his new body and the weird clothing that had replaced his shirt and dress pants.

While Matt continued looking he felt a weird sensation as his face lots its Caucasian features which were replaced by more Eastern Asian ones

Matt's lips inflated only a small bit, his nose became fair and straight, his eyes became slightly slanted and his pupils became dark in coloration, the last thing to change was Matt's hair, it became coal black and his previously office neutral haircut was replaced by a more trendy one.

With the changes now complete Matt got up from the bed he was laying in and grabbed an ultra-modern Samsung phone that was placed on a sleeping table next to the bed.

Matt unlocked the phone with his new face and immediately opened the camera, he was obviously shocked and amazed at the beautiful young Asian face that was looking back at him.

-"너무 이상해" (This is so weird) Said Matt in fluent Korean with his new deep voice, the Adonis looking back at him through the camera shared nothing in common with his old nerdy self, the only thing that was the same was the pair of black glasses he was still wearing.

After exploring his new face with the camera for a little more Matt finally decided to look at Instagram for any info about his new self, Matt opened the personal profile which had the name "Gan Sangwook" displayed next to a picture of Matt's new self flexing with a dumb grin plastered on his face.

Matt after looking at the name and picture also noticed that the new him had a following of almost a million people and that his account was verified meaning that he was relatively famous and well known.

Matt then proceeded to scroll down, as he did he saw dozens of images of the new him working out in gyms surrounded by similarly muscled men, there were also some pictures of him in different locations from around the world and a few pictures were modeling and sponsor type posts.

As Matt continued looking at the pictures a new personality and identity became more dominant in his head, during the process of Matt's old life and memories being eliminated the door of his hotel room opened with a loud bang.

With the door now wide open a group of five heavily muscled Korean men entered the room, Matt remembered seeing some of these men in the Instagram profile but now he somehow recognized all of them and felt a deep personal connection with them.

-"이봐, 여기서 뭐해? 늦었 어. 해변에 가야 해" (Hey dude what are you doing here, it's late. We should be on the beach) Said the bigger of them as the others around him cheered with their deep dumb sounding voices.

-"해변 친구들을 위해 준비된 것 외에 제 인스 타 그램을보고 있었어요" (I was looking at my Instagram, other than that I'm ready for the beach dudes) Said Matt as he started flexing his muscles, the men he now recognized as his gym crew also started flexing their muscles.

-"그럼 가자!" (Then let's go!) Said another one of the muscled men as Matt got up from the bed and walked with the men through the large hallways of the most luxurious resort in Jeju Island.

After a short elevator ride, Matt or Gan Sangwook walked with his friends toward the private beach owned by the resort.

-"수영하러 가기 전에 여러분 사진을 제 인스 타 그램에 올려도 될까요?" (Dudes before we go swimming can I post a picture of all of you to my Instagram?) Asked Gan as he and his crew were a few feet away from the sea.

All of the men said yes and Gan got into position, once he took a few hundred pictures he posted the one he thought looked the best with the caption "해변 준비 😎💪🏻" (Ready for the beach)

After Gan took the picture he continued walking toward the sea, as he did the last vestiges of his old identity of a thirty-year-old British accountant were eliminated what was left was in its place was Gan Sangwook, a young and muscled South Korean jock whose only worry in the world was to keep his body in shape and his one million Instagram followers happy.

[shijiujun]

Lonely Dream | 孤梦

Summary: And when all is done and dusted, sometimes Lao Wen still gets those headaches of his, and the spots where Ah Xu had the nails driven in stil throb in pain on a cold, rainy day.

Some slice of life and domesticity for WenZhou as they enjoy more years than they expected to have initially, together.

Notes: OKAY so there are too many theories going out there for special ep ending, and nah not going there! So the concept of this is SOMEHOW Zhou Zishu saves Wen Kexing at the end of Ep 36, and they need to head into icy mountain cave for a WHILE but not forever. They head back down to Four Seasons Manor once Wen Kexing recovers.

Basically SHL ver. WenZhou, but with TYK ending (where WenZhou fight in the icy mountains for a bit after Wu Xi cures him and then head back down into the world of the living). No immortal lifespan, but hey, they get the rest of their normal lives together! So yeah, they can still eat normally, no snow and ice diet please.

Word Count: 4,500+ 

✨✨ Link on AO3 ✨✨

******

They visit Ah Xiang and Cao Weining’s graves once Wen Kexing’s year-long recovery in the frigid cold of the mountains is complete.

Zhou Zishu says that it is for Lao Wen’s recuperation, but he suspects Wen Kexing, the heartless bastard, knows that he has taken this year too, to finally stop hurting, to stop going through the bone-deep, heart-wrenching terror at the prospect of losing him.

Opening his eyes in the armoury a year ago, his five senses were returned to him, but at what price? Feeling Lao Wen’s cold hands against his, his stark, blinding white hair a horrifying contrast against his beautiful face, and the man almost leaving him.

Leaving him, once again.

Horror turned into anger, the words stuck in his throat, his chest so tight and heart slamming against the bones caging it, Zhou Zishu had regained all that he had lost-

-and then lost the most important thing, person, to him.

Someone he values above his own life, who had lied to him, who had so stupidly, stupidly gave himself up for him.

Zhou Zishu does not want to remember how he survived that day, how he spent minutes, hours, and days after, making sure Lao Wen continued to hang on to his very last breath.

In the past year, the cold he was constantly plagued with had nothing to do with the wintry landscape.

He knows he is pushing it a little — his eyes have rarely left Wen Kexing since they were moved to the mountains at Wu Xi and Senior Ye’s suggestions. Initially, Lao Wen slept and Zhou Zishu had no idea if he would ever wake up.

Before he would even open his eyes, the panic typically set in just like that, gripping him by the throat the moment he woke. Zhou Zishu would have to reach out for Lao Wen across him on the bed, the fear receding only when he heard and felt Lao Wen’s breaths under his fingertips.

For a long time, Zhou Zishu thought that he would be with Lao Wen in this state for the rest of his life. It was not all bad — as long as Lao Wen was alive, who cared if he spent the rest of his years guarding a sleeping Wen Kexing?

Who’s the lazy one now, Lao Wen, he thought plenty of times in the months after, his hands caressing at Wen Kexing’s cheek bones and pale face, which was of the same colour as his white hair.

Fortunately, fortunately… he managed to keep the person he wanted in the end.

They have been so focused on recuperating, stuck in the mountains and in that isolated environment, it was easy to distance themselves from everything that had and was happening outside.

Even though Wen Kexing did not mention a thing, Zhou Zishu knows that he spends some nights awake, looking out into a sky full of stars, quiet and pensive. He knows it, because he does the same.

For Jiu Xiao, for Han Ying, for Qing Luan.

For a young woman who called him Zishu-ge and Sickly Ghost, who threatened to fight him if he left Wen Kexing all alone. A beautiful young woman who should have gotten her happy ending on that tragic afternoon.

For a young man, who had a smile that could light up even the darkest of corners in a place like the Ghost Valley, who would have protected his to-be wife with everything he had.

The pain and grief that comes with losing Ah Xiang and Cao Weining is no easier to bear a year on.

===

Wen Kexing recalls the way she looked that day, all beautiful in her green and red bridal robes, finally able to live a life basking under the sunshine without anything holding her back. That was what he always wanted for her.

What a huge mistake that wedding was.

His whole life, aside from Ah Xu, has been a cycle of repeated mistakes, over and over again. If he had just put his foot down and insisted on not letting Mo Huaiyi in, if he had not just walked away in anger and instead stayed there, they would have stopped Xiao Cao’s death, and Ah Xiang’s after.

Why had he walked off? How did beautiful Ah Xiang, an Ah Xiang he was ready to give away, end up taking her last breath in his arms?

A sting on his right ear pulls him violently out of his depressed reverie, and he yells, “Ow- Ow, ow, ow, Ah Xu!”

“Don’t think that I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Zhou Zishu says, pulling Wen Kexing’s face close to him by the ear. “There is no point dwelling in the past. Life and death… when the time comes, no one can escape from it.”

Wen Kexing’s eyes sober a little, bitterness flashing across his face. Remnants of his hatred and resentment from more than a year ago, before he met Ah Xu.

“If I had just kept her with me-“

“We all make our choices,” Zhou Zishu says, his voice gentling as he lets Wen Kexing go, but the man does not move away.

“If she had to choose again, she would probably have chosen the same.”

In the cold, their hands find their way to each other, clasping warmly under their thick sleeves, the rims lined with fur.

They stare at the graves for a little longer. And while Wen Kexing has never believed in some higher power up there or the heavens-

-this time, with every ounce of his being, he prays and wishes that Ah Xiang and that pig will find their ways back to each other in the next life, no matter what.

Zhou Zishu’s hand squeezes around his, and Wen Kexing turns to see his Ah Xu’s warm smile and gaze.

“Shall we go home?”

Home. The place where they can live out the rest of their natural lives together.

“Let’s go home,” Wen Kexing agrees.

===

“Ah Xu, that is not the way you-“

Hearing Wen Kexing nag for the thousandth time, Zhou Zishu has finally had enough. Slamming the broad vegetable knife onto the wooden chopping board loudly, he turns and looks at the man next to him.

“I’m not the one who begged me to do this,” Zhou Zishu says, turning to walk away, “You make dinner. I told you it was a waste of time-“

Before he can finish his sentence, warmth engulfs his back, and something sharp snuggles into his shoulder bone. A familiar scent — jasmine, from the incense that Wen Kexing likes to use — wraps around him, hands trapping him in between the counter and the limpet attached to him.

Wen Kexing’s palms close over his hands, then guides them to pick up the knife again. Zhou Zishu stiffens, but does not move away. He lets Wen Kexing curl his own fingers properly over the cabbage, and chop at it neatly, over and over.

They have not yet spoken about this between them, despite laying in the same bed right next to each other night after night. The cave was hardly a luxurious abode and to save effort and space, Zhou Zishu fell asleep next to a comatose Wen Kexing for several months, wanting to ascertain that he was alive and breathing at any given moment.

After Wen Kexing woke, Zhou Zishu continued to sleep next to him, and Lao Wen never once brought it up in conversation.

Coming back to Four Seasons Manor, Wen Kexing naturally turned up in his room instead of the one he was staying at before, already asleep when Zhou Zishu returned to turn in.

This man is his soulmate, the person he would give everything up for no matter what it was. His lost shidi, but even before that, this man was someone who was willing to do everything he could for him. Who cared for him like no one else ever would again.

Beyond that? Zhou Zishu knows of his feelings, and is rather certain of Wen Kexing’s. He supposes that after pledging to save each other’s lives at the expense of their own repeatedly, some things just do not have to be articulated.

Zhou Zishu leans into the hold, relaxing entirely.

At this, it is Wen Kexing’s turn to be stunned at the reciprocation where he was expecting none before, but the man recovers quickly. He snuggles in even closer, the side of his face pressed right up against Zhou Zishu’s. 

His Ah Xu remains still, as if unbothered, and Wen Kexing decides to try his luck.

“Ah Xu,” he angles his head slightly, his mouth brushing lightly over Zhou Zishu’s cheek as he murmurs straight into his ear.

Ah, there it is. Zhou Zishu freezes against him, now making to move his ear out of Wen Kexing’s reach.

“What?”

Wen Kexing smiles, amused and so, so fond.

His voice still low and sultry, he continues, “I think you’re right, you should let me cook instead. You’re murdering the cabbage.”

Zhou Zishu pauses for a good two seconds before turning to glare at Wen Kexing. Wen Kexing recognizes that look, and the warmth on Zhou Zishu’s back vanishes instantly just as he starts waving the knife at him.

“Wen Kexing, don’t you think you’re being ridiculous and childish-“

Laughter fills the kitchen, a sound that is incredibly melodious, immediately soothing all the uneasiness Zhou Zishu feels.

Outside, all twenty disciples try not to peek and look at their shifu and shishu being strange again. One of the younger ones, Xiao Man, cannot help but angle his head in the direction of the kitchen, and then says, “Da-shixiong, shifu is going after shishu with a knife! Is he going to be okay?”

Zhang Chengling sighs inwardly, then smiles and pats the boy on the head.

“That’s shifu’s way of showing how much he cares about shishu.”

Back in the kitchen, having heard that tiny quip from their youngest disciple, Wen Kexing finally stops in his tracks, turning around mid-escape to grab Zhou Zishu around the waist with a hand, and the other going to the hand that is holding onto the knife and stopping his Ah Xu from possibly murdering him.

He sets the knife aside, but his other hand does not move.

“What are you doing,” grumbles Zhou Zishu, looking away, his expression a little stern, as if telling Wen Kexing not to be such a nuisance.

This close, however, Wen Kexing can certainly see the light flush on Ah Xu’s cheekbones. 

If Wen Kexing had to rank all the beautiful bones that Ah Xu has, it would probably be scapulas first, followed by his cheekbones.

Wen Kexing’s eyes dip a little lower.

He thinks collarbones may rank third.

“Ah Xu.”

“What?” sighs Zhou Zishu. “Let me go, the disciples need to finish the last set of practice-“

He is cut off when Wen Kexing swoops downwards, and catches his lips in his.

Zhou Zishu’s eyes go wide, but before he can do anything like move away and out of Wen Kexing’s firm hold, the man circles his waist with both arms, effectively trapping him and bringing him closer.

Wen Kexing’s body temperature tends to run on the colder side these days, a side effect of him having been brought back from the brink of death.

Right now, however, Zhou Zishu can feel nothing else but the scalding heat. His hands move up, intending to push Wen Kexing away, but they end up clutching tight around the man’s broad shoulders.

He does not stop the kiss, letting Wen Kexing’s lips roam as they like.

Outside, an unfortunate Chengling who sees this finds his eyes going wide.

“Erm,” he clears his throat quite loudly, gaining all the disciples’ attention. “Let’s head outside to finish our practice.”

He ushers everyone out, while wondering how the hell he hadn’t seen this coming.

Everything makes so much sense now.

===

Four Seasons Manor grows, and Zhang Chengling along with Bi Xingming end up taking over some classes and teaching of their own.

Wen Kexing does not want to admit it, but it seems that when he asked Ah Xu if he was a servant here, the man actually meant it. His little Chengling, who is not so little anymore, still comes to him to ask for tips or begs him to give some pointers to the other disciples, but most of the time, Wen Kexing is cooking.

He makes breakfast, is involved in lunch, and definitely ends up cooking a feast every dinner. Thankfully, Bi Xingming is unlike his da-shixiong and shifu as he actually has some kitchen sense, but Wen Kexing has truly been demoted to servant in this manor.

A servant that ends up in his master’s bed every night, Wen Kexing thinks then, and feels better about it immediately.

“Shishu, let me help you bring these out,” Bi Xingming says, stepping into the kitchen just as he’s done with the last dish.

“Mnn,” Wen Kexing hums in assent without looking up from his soup, tasting it one last time.

At the very least, these days, Zhou Zishu is able to actually, actually taste the food he lovingly cooks.

“Perfect,” he nods. “Is your shifu not up yet? It’s almost lunch time.”

“Ah…” Bi Xingming blinks, “You said not to disturb him until he wakes up, and he hasn’t left the room since morning.”

Wen Kexing frowns slightly. Sure, he worked Ah Xu over thoroughly last night, but not to the extent that he would need to sleep in for this long. Worry niggling at him, he gets Bi Xingming to start lunch with the other disciples first without waiting for them, and heads in the direction of their room.

The last time Zhou Zishu slept in so late, it was the night he confessed his past to Wen Kexing, of how he caused the deaths of everyone in Four Seasons Manor. He was deathly ill then and emotionally wrung out — things that Wen Kexing loathes to see on Zhou Zishu.

“Ah Xu?” Wen Kexing calls, sliding the door open gently.

The lump under the covers is the same as when he left it this morning. Wen Kexing takes quick strides and goes over, sitting down on the bed next to Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu?” he calls again, his voice soft as he reaches out for Zhou Zishu’s face.

His lips are pale, eyebrows furrowed and perspiring at the forehead.

“Ah Xu, are you ill? What’s wrong?”

Zhou Zishu’s skin is of normal temperature, much to Wen Kexing’s relief. His brain runs through a a million scenarios, none of them good and just as he’s about to yell for Chengling, something clicks in his head.

He does yell for their Chengling in the end, but for a hot bath instead with a pack of herbs and medicine from the stash Wu Xi gave them before he headed back home with Jing Beiyuan.

“Is shifu okay?” he asks, worried.

“He will be,” Wen Kexing says, lifting Zhou Zishu out from under the covers and heading for the bath. “Don’t worry, I’ll watch him. You continue training with the other disciples, otherwise when Ah Xu wakes up he’s going to scold all of you again.”

As Zhou Zishu soaks in the steaming medicinal bath, Wen Kexing sits right next to him, pillowing his head on his arms, which are sitting on the rim of the wooden tub and stares at him.

A few years have passed since the days when Wen Kexing despaired at Zhou Zishu dying in a short few years and the peace they have now makes it easy to not think about the past. He forgets sometimes that despite being healed, despite him giving his life force to Ah Xu, the man’s body has been to hell and back with the nails.

And forcing them out of his body forcefully while he mistakenly believed that Wen Kexing was dead, wanting to take revenge for him-

For the rest of their time together, Wen Kexing knows he will forever be guilt-ridden at this. If only he had just told Ah Xu, if only he didn’t make another stupid decision, there would have been no need for the armoury. No need for self-sacrificial plays, no need for lost time.

That Zhou Zishu would love him still and be with him, that is nothing short of a miracle.

On days like these, when the weather turns just the slightest bit wet and cold, his body starts to hurt, especially the points where he kept the nails in. All seven of them, the stupid man.

Wen Kexing inches forward and presses a kiss to the man’s temple.

For this life and every life after this one, Wen Kexing swears he will always be good to Zhou Zishu.

===

He loves and hates Wen Kexing’s hair, even after several years have passed. They are nearing the ten-year mark since leaving the mountains, and Zhou Zishu has slept next to this man every single day after, but whenever Wen Kexing shows up, Zhou Zishu has to admit that his breath is always taken away.

Wen Kexing looks ethereally gorgeous with those white strands, his features standing out even more clearly, not that Zhou Zishu would ever tell him that lest it goes to his head. However, it is a reminder that his silly, stupid shidi and now husband would dare to sacrifice his own life for his without telling him.

It is a constant reminder that he lost him, even if momentarily.

“Ah Xu, why are you are staring at me like that? You’re going to make me shy. Did you miss me? I was only gone for two days,” Wen Kexing says unabashedly during dinner.

At once, coughs and chokes go around the table, and the clanking of dropped chopsticks on the table echo through the dining hall.

Zhou Zishu takes a deep breath to compose himself and resists the urge to fight with the man over dinner. It would be a waste of food, not to mention a futile argument seeing that Wen Kexing has not changed at all since the first time they met. As long as he does not break out into poetry-

“Ah Xu, I missed you too. It is so fortunate that your heart is akin to mine-“

At that, everyone immediately stands from the table and excuses themselves, stumbling over one another as they parrot that they are full and do not want to have anymore.

It is an open secret that they are together — not because they are hiding it, but simply because they find no need to verbalize what they are to others — and if it was another couple that was stuck in this situation, he would possibly find it amusing, but Wen Kexing is incorrigible and has been for years. 

Zhou Zishu finds that while he loves the man and is utterly devoted to him, is willing to die for him, at times like these maybe they should have both just stayed dead.

“Wen Kexing, have you had enough?”

He reaches out, intending to pinch at Wen Kexing as a lesson, but the man catches his hand within his deft fingers and brings it upwards so his hand is cupping one side of his face. Wen Kexing turns his head a little to press his lips to the open palm, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“I missed you,” Wen Kexing repeats. “It’s strange how it has only been two days, but I miss you like I’ve never missed anything else before.”

The impending reprimand dies on his lips.

Fine, just this once.

Zhou Zishu sighs and pinches at Wen Kexing’s cheek instead.

“Ow, ow! Ah Xu, Ah Xu, this face is a work of the heavens, how can you trample on it like this?!”

Zhou Zishu’s eyes are once again drawn to Wen Kexing’s white locks, and he unconsciously reaches out.

As if knowing what Zhou Zishu is thinking about, Wen Kexing grabs for the hand again, interlacing their fingers together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before I faked my death, and then not telling you at the end, before I….” Wen Kexing says, swallowing with difficulty. “Ah Xu, if I could change it, I would. But at the end, if I was given the same choice, I would have chosen the same.”

It hurts to think about that morning, seeing Wen Kexing’s hair all white and almost lifeless, his hands dropping from his.

“I know,” Zhou Zishu breathes, hiding his face in Wen Kexing’s shoulder. “I know.”

===

Zhou Zishu hears of the supposed ambush on Four Seasons Manor while he  has half a day’s journey left before he gets home.

The unrest in jianghu truly never ends; their fight with the Scorpions, with Tian Chuang, with Prince Jin and Zhao Jing was rewarded with peace for a few years, but people never say contented for long. Old sects are wiped out and new ones emerge. Most of them know not to mess with Four Seasons Manor as his and Wen Kexing’s reputations indeed precede themselves, but it is unavoidable, perhaps, for some newer and ambitious ones to mistakenly think they can take both of them on.

Well, they must have made sure Zhou Zishu was not in the manor before striking, as if Wen Kexing could not take all of them on himself.

He arrives in the nick of time in the heat of battle, although a quick glance shows that Four Seasons Manor is still holding up pretty well, with Zhang Chengling and Bi Xingming leading the rest of the disciples.

And there he is, Wen Kexing, all regal in his red embroidered robes, and his white hair pinned up neatly. Every movement from his sharp and deadly fan strikes true. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly, his eyes revealing a thirst for blood that Zhou Zishu hasn’t seen in a while.

He shivers at the want that hits him, even though it is not the time and place for it.

Zhou Zishu lands opportunely behind Wen Kexing and parries a blow that was coming straight for Wen Kexing back.

The both of them exchange a glance, and wordlessly, delve right back into the fight.

When the dust settles a few hours later, Zhou Zishu makes sure injured disciples are looked at while others clean up the mess. His attention finally freed up so he can focus solely on Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu turns, only to see his husband a distance away from him, supporting himself against a wall.

He recognizes the signs of Wen Kexing’s brain-splitting headaches immediately, and rushes over.

“Lao Wen!”

“Shishu!”

Zhou Zishu catches Wen Kexing just as he collapses, his legs giving out under him. His fingers immediately search for Wen Kexing’s pulse.

This is an all-too familiar scene, but Zhou Zishu cannot remember when this last happened. His body growing cold at the implications, all the fears are now suddenly dredged up from the trenches of trauma sustained at a point in time long ago.

“Go get Physician Yao,” Zhou Zishu snaps at whichever disciple is standing closest to them, before picking Wen Kexing up.

Zhang Chengling turns up in their room before the physician does, and whatever fear he is experiencing right now abates slightly.

Before the manor started to grow, there was only the three of them. If anyone understands what he is feeling right now, it would be Chengling.

“Shifu…” he says, trailing off as he kneels down next to the bed and looks at Wen Kexing. “Shishu hasn’t had this in years, what happened?”

“Maybe… I don’t know,” Zhou Zishu exhales heavily. “He could be just.. too tired.”

They watch over him until the physician arrives. Zhou Zishu refuses to be chased out, and the tightness in his chest only disappears once she rolls her eyes at him after testing Wen Kexing’s pulse.

“The both of you are not young anymore,” Physician Yao almost scoffs. “And the injuries and illnesses that the both of you share combined can fill up a list a mile long. He hasn’t exerted himself like this in a long while, suddenly letting it all out in a fight like that, of course there are bound to be side effects. Stop looking at him as if he’s about to die.”

Zhou Zishu is about to thank her, when a weak rasp comes from the bed, “… been there, done that.”

Relief floods him at the sound of Wen Kexing’s voice, and immediately after, anger burns hot through him as the man’s words sink in, “Wen Kexing!”

Physician Yao retreats, knowing by now not to give instructions to them both when they get like this. Instead, speaking to any of their disciples would be much more reliable.

===

Later, after all has quietened down for certain, the stench of blood fading somewhat, Wen Kexing blinks languidly, not wanting to move at all, or do anything.

If he was to die in this position right now, he would have zero complaints.

Zhou Zishu pats at the back of his head gently as Wen Kexing lies almost half on him, his ear pressed over Zhou Zishu’s heart, comforted by the strong beat. Years later, the both of them approaching the big five-o, and Wen Kexing is still like a child sometimes.

Well, he’s making up for lost time.

He is greedy for more years with Ah Xu, in this life and every single life after. A hundred, a thousand years and more. Every little bit, he wants to spend with Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu,” he murmurs, and feels the vibration of the man’s response through his chest, “Before, I could not have what I wanted. I could not play when I wanted to, there was no one to teach me martial arts when I wanted to learn and the things I wanted I could not afford.”

“The person I wanted to keep, I was too late.”

This conversation seems so far away now, but is as clear to the both of them as if it happened just yesterday. That rainy, storming night.

A night of despair and hopelessness.

Zhou Zishu huffs in amusement.

“And now?” he asks.

Wen Kexing looks up, and cheekily responds, “Well, the martial arts part aside, Ah Xu, you pay for everything now, so I can afford everything! And in terms of play… you would know best how well I play now with-“

He’s cut off with a warning look from Zhou Zishu, although the man does not attempt to jostle him, still worried about his earlier headache and injuries sustained from the fight.

Wen Kexing loves this man, to the depths of hell and back.

“And… the person I want to keep, is right here with me.”

Zhou Zishu’s answering smile lights up every fibre of being.

They have forever to look forward to.

***

[ah-ga-seven]

Till The End of Summer - Chapter 14 (The Finale)

>> series masterlist <<

Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader

In a Nutshell: College!AU, Rich Kids, Friends to Lovers, Fuckboy athlete Yeonjun, Overprotective Best friend Soobin, contains all of TXT and other Idol cameos, Omnipresent perspective.

Synopsis: You and Yeonjun are caught up in a cat and mouse game because of unspoken feelings and endless pining for each others’ attention. With the summer break approaching and lots of college parties, will you finally get a chance to explore your feelings for each other; even though the world and Yeonjun’s reputation makes things complicated?

Word count: 12,3K

Idol Cameos: NCT Johnny, ITZY Ryujin, ATEEZ Wooyoung, Stray Kids Hyunjin, Enhyphen Sunghoon, Heesung and Jay.

Genre:  Fluff, SMUT, angst if you squint.

Warnings: explicit mature content, I put a bolded warning sign at the start and end of it so you can skip through if you want.

Month 1.

Yeonjun went back home to save the reputation of Choi Enterprises by dealing with Lita’s attempt to overthrow him and his mother.  

Apparently, she did a lot more than the things she was locked up for initially. 

Lita and her husband bribed members of the board, making promises they obviously couldn’t keep. “When we have the company, the world is yours” but those days never came. and the board members that were bribed were fired effective immediately.

Each and every one of them got disposed of, with their assets included like they were last weeks’ trash. And if that wasn’t enough, Lita’s unjustified psychosis stemmed from the fact that she used to sleep with Yeonjun’s father. Lita felt like she was entitled to the Choi’s fortunes because according to her; the only woman Daniel Choi ever loved, was her.  

The revelation had Yeonjun sick to his stomach as he sat next to his mother in court. Lita looked at him with pleading eyes, claiming to really love him as her own son before the judge announced her 15-year prison sentence for fraud, spying, embezzlement, and attempted murder.

Somehow Yeonjun felt nothing as he looked at her. He really didn’t. If anything, he was glad to close this chapter of his life for good, and look ahead of the road to recovering his soul.

You, on the other hand, were completely overwhelmed with your new surroundings. You threw yourself into your work to forget about your heartache and didn’t dare to talk to Yeonjun in case it’d open up your wounds again. It would cause for you to lose focus, and you simply couldn’t afford that distraction right now.

Month 2

The first month passed without any contact between the two of you, but that changed when you wished him a happy birthday. His heart thumped in his chest on his way to his 6th therapy session as he looked at your message. 

He was even more surprised to see that you sent him a cute card with a Polaroid picture of the two of you; all happy and smiley in the park.  

It was reassuring to him that you were still thinking of him, and that you hadn’t completely forgotten about him or moved on so easily, because lord knows he hadn’t.

When you asked him about Lita’s trial a few days after his birthday, you two started to slowly talk again from time to time. You’d check up on each other and made small talk, but it was nothing like it used to be.  

There was no depth, and the core of your conversations always had to do with how both of your studies were going, if you were taking care of yourselves or if you’ve had dinner already.  

You both figured it was for the better this way, otherwise your break up would have been for nothing if you didn’t use this time apart from each other to heal, especially since you promised to be better individually so you could be even better together.

If that was still what both of you wanted upon your return of course.

He missed you so much, and he was finding it incredibly hard not to check your socials at least once a day, especially when he realized how male-dominated your studies were at Brown.

Your Instagram feed and stories indicated that you were having the time of your life when you could. You were happy despite the crazy hours you spent in a lab with your research team. A team that quickly became your new group of friends at the University.  

There were 2 other guys and one other girl in your team. The girl’s name was Giselle, you seemed to be the closest to her out of all of them. One of the guys was named Chanhee who was quite obviously gay, therefore not a threat. But the second guy, Hwang Hyunjin… let's just say that Yeonjun wasn't a fan.

Month 3

Your almost daily texts and calls with your friends back home started to shift to communication on a weekly basis.  

It was hard to keep up with your friends back home while having to entertain a new friend group here, all while you spent hours upon hours in the lab, working on a possible treatment for neurological disorders.  

You knew that whatever you were getting yourself into with this exchange was going to be hard, but you didn’t imagine it to be this hard and frankly, you were feeling incredibly homesick by now.

You missed Soobin, the boys, Mia…Yeonjun. And one time when you came home at 10 PM after a long day that started at 8 AM; you broke down on the phone when Soobin called to check in on you.

He was so shocked at your tears that he was ready to jump on a plane, but you stopped him from doing so. Knowing that you needed to push through and confide in the friends you made, whom you’ve started to hang out with a lot more, especially with Hyunjin.  

He reminded you a lot of Soobin, the way he was gentle yet in for dumb shit matched well with your own personality, and hanging out with him felt liberating. He introduced you to his friends and spent time with you and your lab partner and roommate Giselle whenever he could, which made your time at Brown a lot more bearable than you had anticipated.

Yeonjun was slowly starting to enjoy life again. He caught up with his studies, kept going to therapy, had regular calls with his mother, and spent time with his friends whenever he could. He started to pick up his neglected hobby of dancing again, finding comfort in the art form with Wooyoung and his crew.

Month 4

Yeonjun’s mother sold Choi Enterprises. She was completely done with the company as it wasn’t hers to begin with. The stock prices had risen for the first time since Daniel’s death paired with the whole Lita ordeal, so she took the chance to get rid of her past with a simple transaction.

She consulted Yeonjun about selling the company and the house he grew up in, for which he agreed, glad that they could finally close that dark chapter of their lives while getting a fresh start with new surroundings.  

With all of this newly acquired money, she opened a new headquarters of her own luxury fashion brand, closer to Yeonjun; only an hour away to be exact.  

She was determined to be a better mother and get to know her son, and the only way to do so was by actually trying. He was happier now that the burden of having to take over Choi Enterprises one day fell off of his shoulders.  

For the first time in a long time, he held the reigns to his own future again and his mother assured him that she’d support whatever he wanted to do in life both mentally and financially.

From there on out things started to look up for them.  

They went on café dates every Sunday, and sometimes he’d visit her for an entire weekend where they would bond by cooking or shopping together. 

During one visit, Yeonjun helped her pick some pieces for Fashion week, which made her pleasantly surprised by Yeonjun’s out of the box and daring passion for fashion. She suggested he’d take a minor in fashion design next to his regular Business studies and after giving it a good thought, he did, enjoying it a little more than he thought he would.

Month 5

You were doing better too. The hard part of your research was over with, and you had a well-deserved break which you spent with Giselle, Chanhee, and Hyunjin. You decided on having a mini-vacation and go sightseeing, rent an Airbnb somewhere in the state, and just chill.

Everything was fine until the last night of your trip, where you got shitfaced drunk and ended up sleeping with Hyunjin.  

You were single, so there was no reason to feel guilty, especially since the last time you even talked to Yeonjun was over a month ago, yet you still did.  

Of course, you had to talk to Mia about it, who only told you to remember that when you’d return in a month; you’d probably never see Hyunjin again, and that was enough for you to start distancing yourself from him.

The guy obviously had feelings for you, and you felt bad for friend-zoning him after being intimate with him, but the fact of the matter was that you just didn’t feel the same way about him. None of it would matter in a few weeks anyway, because you’d be heading back home, to your friends...and to Yeonjun.

Month 6  

Brown had offered you to stay and finish your studies at their facilities but you kindly declined. The experience was great, but you couldn’t put yourself through one more year of this type of curriculum, and you desperately wanted to see your friends' faces again by going back to the place you’ve called home for the past three years.

To your new-found friends’ disappointment, you were getting ready to leave as the weeks passed, packing your things little by little and meeting up with all of the people you met one last time before parting ways for good.  

It felt bittersweet though. Not only did you learn a lot about neuroscience, but you learned a lot about yourself as well. You grew as a person, matured, and blossomed by being more independent. Not having Soobin or your other friends to fall back on really pushed you to become more self-dependent, which was one of the perks of being away from them for so long.

You respected yourself and put yourself first and promised that that’d be a piece of knowledge that you’d be taking back home too.

Now.

Yeonjun couldn’t believe half a year had passed already. But what he really couldn’t believe was that he’d be seeing you again tonight.  

He stood in your apartment with the guys and Mia, organizing your things and cleaning up the place for your surprise welcome home party. Being in there felt weird, almost foreign to be exact.

It’d been half a year since he stepped foot in here, and even though you were gone for so long, the place still smelled like you. If it wasn’t for the empty shelves, missing bedsheets, and plastic covers over your furniture; it’d almost seem like you never really left.

He opened your bedroom door to see Mia struggling to make your bed and chuckled lightly at the sight. He walked over to her, grabbing the other ends of the sheets to help her out.

Mia gave him a faint smile and stopped her movements for a second to look at Yeonjun. “Are you excited?” She asks with a big smile. Lord knows she was, her best friend was finally coming back but Yeonjun didn’t really know how to answer Mia’s question.

“More nervous than excited. We checked up on each other from time to time but it’s not like we really talked or anything.”

Mia pouted at Yeonjun’s insecure facial expression. One she hasn’t seen from him that often. Especially lately. Mia and Yeonjun have gotten a lot closer in the past six months, which was a nice change for the both of them.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry. You’re not the same Yeonjun you were six months ago. And that’s a good thing. She’ll appreciate the change.”

“Gee, thanks.” Yeonjun snickers as he throws a pillow at Mia’s head. It hit her straight in the face, messing up her hair which made both of them erupt in loud laughter.

“Asshole,” Mia says straightening out her hair.

“What’s going on here?” Soobin asks with a big smile on his face as he enters your room.

Soobin hasn’t been able to wipe that damn grin off of his face all day. He was so excited for you to come back and honestly the mood with the boys and with Mia has been amazing lately.  

“Yeonjun is back to his old ways,” Mia argues as she tries to throw the pillow back at him, but Yeonjun swiftly caught it, giggling to himself as he fixes it before putting it back on your bed, where it belongs.

“Well, quit messing around and hurry the fuck up, I’m picking her up in an hour.” Soobin says clapping his hands together to try and give orders, but neither Yeonjun nor Mia were phased by Soobin’s attempt to assert dominance. Both of them rolled their eyes before getting back to the task of making your bed.  

It was adorable how stressed yet giddy Soobin was to see you again. Everything had to be perfect before you arrived so he could relax and make sure you’ll be able to relax after your flight too.  

He ran around your apartment like a stressed mother; making sure the boys weren’t messing around too much so that everything planned out smoothly before the guests arrived.

Soobin waited for you patiently…at the wrong exit.

You immediately recognized his tall form when you were skimming the crowd, wondering why he wasn’t there yet, but when you saw his back facing the wrong arrival hall; you knew enough.  

It’s so Soobin of him to face the wrong way. You smile to yourself as it gave you the perfect opportunity to scare him.

You chuckle as you walk towards him while pulling your suitcase with you. He was concentrated on the people exiting the gates, hoping to see you and growing more and more restless as you didn’t show up, but little did he know, you were right behind him.

“Who are we waiting for?” You ask in a serious tone as you stood beside him with your arms crossed while following his gaze onto the crowd.

Soobin’s head snapped into your direction so fast you swore you heard a bone crack.  

His eyes widened before he smacked his bunny-like lips in confusion, looking you up and down before a huge smile crept upon his face that you could only mimic.  

“YOU’RE HERE!” Soobin shouts in shock, relief, and joy at the same time while pulling you in for a tight hug. He inhaled your scent while twirling you around, and all you could do was giggle as he smothered you in his hold.

God, you missed him, and judging from the way he wasn’t letting go of you, you could tell he missed you too.

“Ugh, I missed you so much. How was your flight? And look at you! Did you change up your hair? You look good, happy, healthy. Ugh.”  

You couldn’t even respond to anything he was saying as he wrapped you into his arms again. Normally you’d fight him for being so clingy, but this time you let him have his way for a few seconds…until it got hard to breathe.

“Soobin, I can’t breathe.” You protest softly as you tap his chest to let go which made him laugh in response, holding you at an arms-length. “Sorry y/n. I just…we’re never separating for that long ever again,” he says with a serious yet playful look on his face.

“Agreed.” you beam up at him as you link arms, walking towards the exit.

“Did you have a good flight?” he asks as he pets your hair, not believing that you were standing next to him right now.  

“Mmh, there was some turbulence so I couldn’t really rest. I can’t wait till I’m home again so I can sleep,” you mumble before you let out a yawn as you drag your feet on the tiled floor of the airport.

Soobin gulped. He didn’t know how you’d feel about the hoard of people in your apartment right now, all ready to celebrate your return when all you really wanted was to get some rest after your long travels.  

He felt guilty for a second but also knew that you’d probably forget all about your tiredness when you’ll see all of your friends again.

“Uhm, the car isn’t that far. Give me that,” he says as he takes your suitcase from your hold.

“Everyone quiet down! They’re coming up right now!” Taehyun announces while he cut the music.

Everyone frantically found a spot to hide. Some giggled as it got dark, some held on to each other cause they couldn’t see shit and some were nervous wrecks like Yeonjun.

You weren’t suspecting anything as you dragged your feet to your apartment. Soobin was acting weirder and weirder; fumbling with his keys, dropping shit, and constantly checking his phone, but you were too dense and tired to notice.

You struggle with your lock and let out a yawn. Soobin stood closely behind you, taking a deep breath as the door swung open.

Before you could even close the door behind you or find the light switch, all of the lights turned on in an instant, followed by a loud ‘SURPISE’ yelled out by at least two dozen people who were occupying your living space.

You flinch, your eyes nearly popping out of your skull and stumble backward, just so your back could hit Soobin’s tall form.

He laughed hysterically clapping his hands together like a seal, followed by everyone in the room.

“Oh my god.” Is the only thing that you were able to get out as you covered your face at the overwhelming sensation.

You didn’t even realize you had this many friends? I mean you knew all of them of course, but you didn’t comprehend the fact that they were all here to welcome you back.

The music turned back on and Mia was the first one to launch herself into your arms which had you immediately defrosting in her hold.

‘BITCH!!!” she yelped. “I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.”  

She clung onto you and twirled you around making the adrenaline and confusion in your body shift to pure happiness at seeing their faces again.

You can’t believe they did this, and suddenly you don’t feel tired anymore.

“Y/N!” Beomgyu squealed your name as he hugged you, followed by Taehyun and Hueningkai who all patiently waited until it was their turn to hug you.

You were so caught up in shock and bombarded with love, that you didn't have time to scan the room for other familiar faces. Instead, you just let them come to you one by one as you stood glued to the floor, smiling, hugging and chatting away with all of the people that seemed to have missed you so dearly.  

Yeonjun stood in the corner of your living room, watching the whole ordeal. A smile crept onto his face at how happy and healthy you looked. It’s almost as if he saw you for the first time again. Making him realize that love at first sight really was a thing…even in this form.

He took a sip of his drink, still watching you carefully until someone nudged his shoulder.

“Shouldn’t you go say hi to your girl?” The taller and older guy leaned against the wall next to Yeonjun after nudging him, making him look up at him.

“Hyung, I don’t even know what to say to her. She’s so happy right now, I don’t wanna ruin it.”

Johnny furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side. “You don’t think she’ll be happy to see you?”

“I don’t know anything right now.” Yeonjun sighed, watching you join Hueningkai and Beomgyu for a selfie with a big smile on your face. “When is the last time you two spoke?” Johnny asked, taking another sip of his drink.  

“Like two months ago.”

“Damn…”

“I know.”  

and just as the picture was taken, you spotted him across the room.  

Your eyes locked, making Yeonjun freeze in place. “Shit,” he gulps, downing his drink in one go to calm his nerves which made Johnny laugh at his antics.

“Relaaaax. Did you see her eyes light up just now? I think she missed you too,” he assures him, throwing an arm around his shoulder for comfort.

This seems odd? Doesn’t it? Yeonjun and Johnny being all friendly with each other.

During Yeonjun’s never-ending therapy sessions, the school’s counselor wanted to connect Yeonjun with someone with a similar background. You should’ve seen both of their faces when they met during a group session, but after realizing they had such corresponding backgrounds, you know; the neglected rich kid kind, they haven’t stopped talking to each other and oddly became very close friends.

It was nice for Yeonjun to have an older brother figure in his life since he’s the oldest in his own friend group, and it was even nicer for Johnny to find out that Yeonjun wasn’t such a big dick after all. Oh, and the part of having someone who gets his struggle was great too, even in the form of Choi Yeonjun.  

You couldn’t believe your eyes. You didn’t expect him to be here for some reason and the last thing you expected was seeing him with Johnny’s arm around his shoulder in a non-threatening way.

Mia chuckled as she followed your gaze. “Yeah…so, they started hanging out a few months ago.”

“How even?”  

“I don’t know maybe they started to bond over being your rejects,” Taehyun says making Mia and Beomgyu cackle with him, but you couldn’t quite see the humor in it. You had only returned to your friends for 5 whole minutes and they were already being annoying.  

Soobin noticed your slight annoyance and chuckled, rubbing your back in comfort as he was the only one to notice how nervous you really were to talk to him again after all this time. “Go talk to him, he’s just as nervous. Trust me.” Soobin says into your ear so only you could hear, and you give him a small nod in response. Smiling at the encouragement you so desperately needed.

You’re a bad bitch. You got this.  

You look at him once more as he talked to Johnny.

For some reason, his whole aura changed from the last time you saw him. His features matured a bit, he lost weight and he completely embraced having a mullet. Ok…hot.  

He was breathtaking. Even after all this time of being apart, he made you feel the exact same way and all it took to remind you of that feeling was one look from him.  

He decided to man up and make his way through the crowd to greet you, but you beat him to it as your legs automatically walked over to where he was standing.

Johnny sensed the sudden electricity in the air as you approached and decided to go in for the hug first to give Yeonjun some time to collect himself. “Y/n!” Johnny coed as he enveloped you into a big bear hug. “It’s so good to see you again. How are you? How was your exchange?”  

You’re snapped out of your trance, but you still feel Yeonjun’s eyes on you as you’re trapped in Johnny’s embrace. You collect yourself as you let go of him, trying to avoid Yeonjun’s gaze for now but it was almost impossible because of how close he was.  

“I’m good, it was good. A lot of sleepless nights but it was totally worth it.” You give him the quickest answer possible; you weren’t quite sure where to start the conversation with Yeonjun but the longer the two of you ignored each other, the weirder the tension between you two was getting.

He took a deep breath, giving you a warm smile before averting his attention to Johnny. He not so subtly told him to leave with his eyes, which made Johnny suavely exit the conversation by announcing that he needed a refill.

“Hey…” you start.

Yeonjun’s eyes glistened as he looked at you with adoration. “Hey.”

You looked good. Your skin had a healthy glow, and your new haircut was working wonders for your features. He was entranced by your beauty for a second before realizing his stare might be creeping you out, though you didn’t even notice, cause you were staring at him too.  

You were completely caught up in your own perception of time. Everything seemed to slow down now that you were looking into others eyes again after all this time and just as you were about to open your mouth to speak, some kid you didn’t know accidentally bumped into you roughly.  

The sudden impact made you lose balance as you jolted forward, straight into Yeonjun’s arms. Luckily, he swiftly caught and stabilized you.

He looked at you in shock, making sure you were okay as he grabbed your shoulders before turning his attention to the random kid who somehow got an invite to be at your welcome home party, in your house, without you even knowing who he is.

He quickly apologized, but you feared for what was about to happen. The Yeonjun you left 6 months ago was a dick and a hothead, he’d make the kid regret running into you like that but to your surprise Yeonjun straightened out the freshman’s clothes and gave him a small side smile.  

“Be careful kid, we just got her back,” he says in neutral yet friendly tone.

That’s it? No threatening glare? No sarcasm?

He seemed to notice your dumbfounded facial expression and chuckled. “Anger management classes,” he explains with playfulness evident in his voice.

“You’re kidding?” you scoff in amusement.

“Nope. I’ve turned into a complete softie, just for you.”  

You teasingly shove his shoulder and laugh loudly. The sound made Yeonjun’s heart flutter as he watched your face contort into pure joy and cuteness. He felt the sudden urge to squish your cheeks together and litter your face with kisses but he withheld himself from doing so, and reciprocated your giggles with the sound of his own laugh as he raked his hand through his long locks.

This small moment of flirty teasing made the both of you realize just how much you had missed each other as you were quick to jump back in your old ways.

You both should’ve known that worrying about any awkwardness between you two was stupid. After all, you were friends before you even started dating; and luckily that dynamic returned quickly because he was just as big of a casual flirter as you were.

Suddenly it felt like you were starting all over again with him, it felt like the first time you tried to connect with him on that damn picnic that started the timeline of your relationship.

Somehow the universe granted you the opportunity to hit the reset button and do things right this time, and you couldn’t be happier now that you realize how stupid it was to worry about the inseverable connection you two seemed to have to each other.

Even after all these months and all those miles of distance, Yeonjun still felt like home.  

He gave you a shy smile, realizing you were staring at him with hearts in your eyes while you expectantly gazed into his dark orbs.

His eyes weren’t hollow anymore, for the first time in ages his happiness felt genuine and you couldn’t wait for him to tell you all about it.

“How about we…ditch your party for a bit and go take a walk,” Yeonjun suggests, giving you a hopeful yet mischievous look as he held out his hand for you.

You boldly lace your fingers through his and lead him out of your apartment without a second thought, ignoring stares from literally everyone.

Oh my god, history really was repeating itself. Your mind flashes back to the walk you took with him that night at Johnny’s party; you lead him out of Johnny’s kitchen the exact same way right after the fight you had with an overprotective Soobin about trying to date Yeonjun.

You got Yeonjun a little flustered, which is a first, but he was happy with your directness. He couldn’t wait to be alone with you in a more private setting and if that meant leaving your own party, then so be it.  

Fresh air hits your lungs as the chilly spring night welcomes you outside. Your apartment was way too crowded and way too hot which made you sigh contently as the cold wind created goosebumps on your skin.

Yeonjun looked at you and stopped in his tracks while diverting his gaze at your still intertwined fingers.

You look back at him, confused as to why he stopped walking, but before you could ask questions; he pulled you towards him, trapping you into his strong arms. One of his hands made its way to the nape of your neck to slowly pat your hair as he leaned his chin on the top of your head.

You just let it happen, wrapping your arms around his torso while burying your face in the crook of his neck. The familiar scent of soap mixed with his expensive Chanel Bleu cologne hit your nostrils and the butterflies in your tummy start to flutter again after being on rest for six months.

Whole. That’s how you feel in the moment.

“You have no idea how much I missed you.” You mumble into the hug, not wanting to look up at him out of fear that he might not have felt the same, but by the way he was holding you right now, you should know better. The insecurity of not being good enough still had its ways of fucking with your mind, even though you had no reason to be.

Yeonjun opened his eyes at your confession, not being able to hide how happy he was to hear that his feelings were mutual. He hid his grin by burying his face into your hair again as he giggled before pulling back slightly to see your face. You were trying incredibly hard to hide the heat that had risen to your cheeks but it was to no avail as Yeonjun mumbled something about how cute you were right now.

He was so worried you didn’t feel the same. He was convinced you forgot all about him at Brown. Your Instagram stories were filled with the countless parties you went to, the new people you met accompanied with the fact that your posts were littered with suggestive comments from guys he could only assume you met over there.

Yeonjun’s biggest fear relating to your return was that you utilized those six months away from him to move on, but as selfish as it sounds; he was so incredibly glad that you hadn’t.  

“Look at me.” He tried to cup your face but you didn’t let him, giggling into his chest as you protested.

The two of you must look absolutely pathetic to bystanders right now. You were completely stuck in your own world, acting like high school kids who were brand new to love, but somehow that’s exactly what you were.  

He chuckled lowly, as you tightened the hold you had on his waist. “Ah, whyyy…Look at me, come on.”

You do as you’re told, and when you look up you are greeted by the most beautiful smile you’ve seen in your life, making your breath hitch in your throat at how boyish yet manly he looked just now.

“Ok, I’m looking. Now what?” You challenge as you take a hold of his wrists as he cupped your face.

He didn’t know if he’d move too fast if he kissed your lips right now, so he decided against it while giving you a sweet kiss on your forehead instead.

“I just wanted to see your pretty face up close again. Instagram doesn’t do you justice, angel.”

“Oh, shut up.” You giggle, rolling your eyes as you push yourself out of his hold. You hate to admit it, but the little pet name made your heart skip a beat. You pretend to run from him, but he snatched you back in no time by tugging at your elbow with laughs and giggles. You give in and link arms with him as you resumed your walk through your neighborhood and look up at him to check if he was really here with you right now.

This whole thing just felt too good to be true. Here you thought he’d moved on from your relationship, but the confirmation that he hadn’t was nice, to say the least.

He looked down as he felt your eyes on him and smiles at you before looking at the path ahead of him.

“What?” he asks with an amused tone, but you just shake your head in response.

“You seem different.”  

“How different?”

“Like you aren’t carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders anymore type of different.”

He nodded understandingly and stopped in his tracks to look into your eyes again. His hands traveled down to yours, lacing your fingers together once more before he sighed, tucking a stray piece of your hair behind your ear for you.

You gave him an expecting look, squeezing the hand that was still intertwined with yours to assure him of the fact that you’re listening, which earned you a small smile.

“It’s cause I’m not. While you were changing the lives of others with your research, I was changing my own. At first, I thought the whole therapy thing was a hoax. I didn’t understand why talking to some stranger would fix me, but it helped me come to terms with a lot. I learned about acceptance and moving forward. And I learned that in order to be able to love someone in a healthy manner, I’d have to love myself first. You know…on a deeper level than just my handsome face” he jokes trying to lift some weight off of his words.

You roll your eyes, but secretly love his arrogance, making a low chuckle escape from your lips before you return to seriousness again.

“I’m so proud of you.” you say, and you mean it. You’re amazed at how clear his mind seemed to be. It’d usually take Yeonjun a good minute to collect his thoughts before he could talk about how he felt with you, but right now it came out so naturally, it was almost odd.

He gave you a weak side smile, making eye contact once again. “I’m nowhere near the finish line though. I can’t promise you that I’ll never fuck up again because I’m learning as I go, but what I can promise you, is that my heart and my feelings for you are unchanged. I haven’t stopped thinking of you, not once. The thought of being with you again was my driving force and I need you to know that.”

He caressed your cheek while you let his words sink in and suddenly you feel tears prickle your eyes.  

You were at a loss for words, completely lovestruck by his incredibly sweet and wise confession.

You hold onto his wrist for leverage, your breathing turned shaky and uneven as a tear escaped your eyes.

Here you thought he had completely moved on from your relationship. But god, you were so wrong, and you couldn’t be any happier.

“I promised myself to never make you cry again,” he joked lightheartedly as he wiped another tear away from your cheek, making you sniff in response, wiping them away with your sleeve quickly.  “They’re happy tears.”  

He looked into your eyes again, searching for answers and maybe even permission. He wanted to take things slow; give you time to reflect and time to adjust to being back home, but he simply couldn’t help himself.

When you leaned into his touch, he knew you basically gave him an okay to proceed.

He inched his face dangerously close to yours, lightly brushing his plump lips against yours. His hesitation made you smile, so you pull him down to your level by the back of his neck as you initiated the kiss.

He froze for a second at your dominance but quickly relaxed in your touch soon after he realized that you seemed to want this just as much as he did.

Kissing him was like muscle memory. It felt natural and blissful and suddenly you find yourself wondering about how you were able to live without this feeling of pure euphoria for over six months.

His love was like a drug, and all it took was one kiss to break your sobriety.

He pulled back, quickly assessing his surroundings before he realized the two of you were basically making out in the middle of the street.

He pulled you into an alleyway and pushed you against the wall of a random apartment building, his hands holding on to each side of your face delicately yet roughly as he kissed you with so much fervor, it almost made you dizzy.  

“You really had me thinking I lost you forever,” he mumbles as his lips disconnected from yours.

You weren’t given the change to respond as his lips found their way to the soft spot in your neck. He still remembered every sensitive inch of your skin and used it against you all too willingly; wrapping his hands around your throat as he kissed and licked a pattern from your jaw to your neck.  

A breathy moan left your lips as he started to suck possessive marks onto your neck and you instinctively wrap your arms around his waist, letting him do as he pleases, too entranced by the delicious feeling. You jumped up and he caught you by hooking his arms under your thighs, stabilizing you against the wall as you kept making out.

You giggled at his eagerness, a little flustered at the fact that you were in public; even though it was nighttime while being in a neglected alley; it still felt wrong.

He smirked against your neck when he felt you hesitate, and placed a soft yet wet kiss on your lips before letting go of you. He made sure you landed back on the ground safely, straightening out your clothes for you. “Maybe we should head back,” he says with a dark gaze, acting as if he didn’t just litter your neck with marks and bruises. He licked his pouty lips in amusement at the sight of what he had just done to you, knowing all too well that people would be able to see what happened while the two of you were gone.

You playfully shoved him aside, completely oblivious to how bad it really was but when you stepped into the elevator and saw your own reflection you gasped and shot Yeonjun a look of pure panic and distress. “YEONJUN!” you gasp loudly. “You can’t be fucking serious.”

“I’m sorry I just…couldn’t help myself.” he licked his lips again, cockiness emitting from his entire being. He inched closer to you to give you an innocent kiss on the top of your head and pulled the hair tie out of your hair, making your hair fall past your shoulders to cover the hickeys.

“This’ll do.”

“Oh my god, I hate you.”

He scoffed, casually smacking your ass in response.  

On the remaining way back to your apartment you were constantly fixing your clothes and hair, trying to let it nonchalantly fall to the front but you knew it looked rather ridiculous.

You had hoped your friends were too intoxicated to notice but when you stepped foot in your apartment with Yeonjun closely trailing behind you, all eyes were on you again.

How long were you two gone for? 10, maybe 20 minutes?

“Hyung.” Taehyun grabbed Yeonjun by his collar, turning him around which made Yeonjun frown at the younger one.

“For fucks sake.” Taehyun sighs dramatically, wiping something pink from the corner of Yeonjun’s mouth with his index finger.  

…it was your fucking lipgloss.

Yeonjun’s ears turned a bright red as he started to chuckle nervously. “Now I lost the fucking bet with Hueningkai. I thought it’d take at least a week before you two would start simping over each other again, it hasn’t even been an hour….AND OUTSIDE?” Taehyun sucks his teeth as a sign of disapproval, looking you up and down before his eyes lingered on your neck. “Animals. That’s it. That’s the description.”

“Pay up, loser. I told you.” Hueningkai cackles as he throws his arms around both Taehyun and Yeonjun’s shoulders.

“Y’all made a bet? An actual bet on our relationship?” you ask in pure disbelief. It was so like them to turn your emotional turmoil into their own amusement, but you couldn’t really be mad at them.

Your friends know the two of you better than anyone and probably saw this coming way before you did.

“Venmo me later.” Taehyun mumbles to Hueningkai in defeat while walking off, and you can’t help but chuckle at the irony of it all.  

All of these months left in pure insecurity about your relationship with Yeonjun. Nights of pondering about your future, worrying if he had moved on or not. It was all for nothing

Yeonjun and you move like magnets, and no course of time could really drive you apart because when you’re reunited, you will always find your way back to each other. Always.

He looked at you a little dreamily, it still wasn’t sinking in that you were back. For good. And all his.

He snaked his arm around your waist as he stood behind you, resting his head on your shoulder as you told your friends all about your adventures.

He was clingy, you were clingy and neither of you was hiding it for anyone. You’ve had your fair share of secrets with Yeonjun and you were more than glad that those times were over with.

At around 4 AM most people left, and you were left alone with the boys, Ryujin and Mia.

You were on the couch, perfectly comfortable on Yeonjun’s lap as you leaned into his chest. One hand was rubbing your back in up and down motions while the other had found its way under your shirt and onto your waist. His cold fingertips grazed over your bare skin and suddenly it was way too hard to stay awake.

The chatter of your friends became background noise as your eyelids grew heavy. But you were shortly awakened out of your slumber as you felt Yeonjuns lips on your temple.  

“You must be so tired after that flight and this whole circus,” he whispered with an empathetic pout, yet all you could do was nod as a response.

He chuckled at your cuteness and fixed a piece of your hair, kissing your forehead again before you buried your face in the crook of his neck.

“It’s funny how nothing has changed, yet everything is different,” Beomgyu says as he stares at you and Yeonjun with a loving smile.

Beomgyu might be a little shit with a smart mouth, but he cares for his friends. Seeing the two of you be so content in each other's presence made love emit from his pupils. Even though Yeonjun had been doing so much better the best couple of months, nothing compares to the pure happiness and giddiness that Gyu was seeing from him now, and that was all because you were together again.

Beomgyu wasn’t the only one to notice, because it was literally all of them, and especially Soobin.

Soobin who literally rebelled against any type of relationship between you and Yeonjun was smiling at the sight of you in his arms fondly. His two best friends finally found solace in each other after all the shit that both of you had been through together, and it made him sentimental.

A year had passed since the two of you started dating unofficially, though this was the first time in that whole year that Soobin was completely okay with it.

You were long gone and off into dreamland by now as Yeonjun looked at you with a small smile on his lips, but when he looked up to check why everyone had stopped talking, he was met with six pairs of twinkling eyes on him.

His pupils darted back and forth between them in genuine confusion. “Why? What’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.” Soobin sighed contently. “For once, nothing is wrong.” he says as he leans forward to hug Mia from behind who was sitting between his legs on the floor.

Taehyun chuckled at Soobin’s dramatic statement and Hueningkai hummed in agreement.  

“Not to get all simpy or anything, but with her being back it feels like our little dysfunctional family is whole again.” Beomgyu mumbles as he let his head drop onto Ryujin’s shoulder.

“Let’s try to be less dysfunctional,” Hueningkai says with determination.  

“We can be less dysfunctional if you can clean up after yourselves and fold your own damn laundry so I don’t have to start a fight with you every 5 seconds,” Taehyun argues as he throws a pillow at Hueningkai's face. Making him laugh as he got in in the face with full force.

“Why can’t we just…have one peaceful moment…just one.” Soobin says rubbing his forehead in agony.

Yeonjun chuckled at the banter of his little brothers and looked back at you. “I don’t know guys, maybe that’s our charm,” he says leaving all of them in pure confusion as they looked at him for clarification.

“What do you mean by that.” Mia questions as she raises a brow at him.

“We’ll literally walk through fire to be there for each other, right? We go through things individually but will never fail to be there for each other in times of need, and I think we need to embrace our worst mistakes and arguments so we can grow from them. After all we’ve been through, I know we’ll be together forever. So, I say cheers to being dysfunctional,” He says with a proud smile, picking up his drink from the side table to raise it up in the air for a collective moment of cheers.

Dumbfounded by Yeonjun’s odd display of maturity and wise words, they all comply, raising their glasses in the air followed by a loud cheer to being “dysfunctional.”

The sudden loudness of their voices woke you up, completely out of it and sleep drunk; you lift your head from Yeonjun’s chest, squinting your eyes at your friends as you rub the sleep out of your eyes.

“Did I miss anything?” you say, your voice laced with sleep and confusion.

They all burst out into laughter at your current state paired with your obliviousness and messy bed hair.

“Nah, just six months of incompleteness,”  Yeonjun says as he pecks your lips.

Mia stayed over that night and helped you unpack and clean your whole apartment the next day, which you were super grateful for but...you’d be lying if you said you didn’t wish Yeonjun would’ve stayed the night.

The fact of the matter is that you haven’t had time for a serious talk with him yet, because you know, tongue punching each other was of higher priority than hashing things out with actual words. Which meant you hadn’t really talked about your relationship status or how things will be moving forward.

“The last game of the season is tonight. Are you going?” Mia asked as she plops down on your couch with you.

“The last one? Already?”

“Yeah we’re gonna go celebrate after.”

“Even if they lose?”

“Girl, you know they don’t lose.”  

You roll your eyes and laugh at Mia’s overconfidence in her boyfriends’ team. You were about to give her a definite answer before your phone started buzzing.

[Yeonjun, 12.44 PM]: Hi baby.

[Yeonjun, 12.45 PM]: Is it ok if I come over? I’ll bring us coffees from that café you love so much. 😌

[Y/N, 12.45 PM]: Yesss please 🥺

You giddily smile at your phone, wanting to squeal with excitement but you hold it in and Mia seems to notice. “Oh god, is it him?”

“Yeah, so.” you glare at her with playful intent “Let me be happy. He’s changed so drastically; I almost couldn’t believe that last night’s Yeonjun was the Yeonjun I left six months ago.”

“Yeah, he’s been working super hard to change and the whole thing with his mom helped too.”

“His mom? What do you mean?” You ask in genuine confusion, Mia bit her lip as she furiously shook her head. “Listen, I’m never, ever going to meddle in your relationship ever again. When he gets here, I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it.”

You chuckle, nodding in agreement until your attention is averted to your phone again as it buzzes in your lap once more.

[Hyunjin, 12.46 PM]: Hey sweetheart, did you have a good flight?  

Oh….

Your eyes shoot to Mia’s in panic and she frowns, taking your phone out of your hold to read the message.

“Oh my god…is this your little slip-up?” she asks with disgust evident on her features.

“What do you mean slip up? I am a single woman,” you argue, but Mia wasn’t having it.

“AM?”

“WAS? GIRL, I DON’T KNOW. It was a fling, nothing more.”

“Flings don’t call you sweetheart and ask you how your flight was.” Mia says squinting her eyes at you.

“Mia…”

She sighed, visibly irritated with how naïve you were being, but you couldn’t have known that you’d fall back into Yeonjun’s arms that fast, and it’s not like you ever dated Hyunjin. He was just a friend…who you’ve slept with once.  

“Listen, girl. I love you...but after everything Yeonjun has put himself through to be a better man for you, you better ghost this motherfucker right now or else.”

“Jeez, I will. It’s not like I like the guy. And since when are you team Yeonjun?”

She relaxed at your statement, slouching back into the couch. “A lot has changed y/n. He was a good friend to me when you weren’t here, that’s all.”

You nod understandingly, realizing that Yeonjun and yourself have a lot to talk about; maybe even more than you had hoped for now that Hyunjin reminded you of his existence with a mere text message.

Mia left soon after, wanting to give Yeonjun and yourself some privacy for when he got here, which wasn’t long after she left.

You opened the door for him, and he smiled at you. He was wearing a black beanie, an oversized black t-shirt, and those damned gray sweatpants of his that you love so much. Your heart did a thing at the sight and he quickly kissed your cheek before he rushed his way into your living room, trying to find a place to set down the coffee cups that were burning his fingertips at the touch.

“Careful.” You mumble as you watch him struggle. When he put the coffees down on your salon table, he quickly made his way to you again to properly kiss you this time.

He cupped your face, pulling you into him as he started to steal chaste kisses from your lips. You giggled into the kisses as you tried to untangle yourself from him, slapping his chest playfully to shoo him away.

He let go with a smile, taking your hand to lead you to your couch. You could tell by his whole body language and the way he skipped through your apartment that he was happier than ever.

You hoped you wouldn’t ruin that happiness by telling him about Hyunjin, but it shouldn’t matter because he didn’t matter. You only wanted to tell him just so you weren’t keeping any secrets anymore; cause god knows how that went the last time.  

“How’d you sleep?” he asks you as he hands you your coffee. You happily take it from him and keep your eyes on him as you take a sip. “Fine, it was weird being in my own bed again, I missed it though.”

“Yeah? Anything else you missed?” his gaze was piercing into you as he took a sip of his Americano, fully aware that he was fishing for an ego boost.

“Theres this guy I kinda missed, I guess his name is Yeonjun.” You shrug as you take another sip; your flirty playfulness is one of the things that he loved about you, it kept things spicy.

“Oh him? He wanted me to tell you that he kinda missed you too,” he says with an amused glimmer in his eyes.

You chuckle. “Good.”

Suddenly the two of you fell quiet, but it wasn’t an awkward quietness; it was more of a realization that your endless flirting had to turn into somewhat of a serious conversation.

“Yeonjun…”

“Hmm?” his eyes softened at the way you called his name, he set his coffee aside turning to you completely to show you that he was listening attentively.

You sigh, not knowing what else to say other than the following. “I love you and I want to be with you.”

His eyes grow in size, a little shook by your directness but he composed himself as he fixed his posture quickly. “Why do I feel a ‘but’ coming?”

“I mean it, but I need to be honest with you too,”

“About what?”

“While I was at Brown, I kind of…flirted off and on with one of my lab partners and well…I slept with him…once. I swear it was only once and I-” he cut you off by raising his hand so you’d stop your nervous rambling and sighed. He knew exactly who you were talking about, because he had seen that motherfucker all over Instagram and had honestly seen this confession coming from miles away. 

He was glad you told him though, cause he'd feel worse if you tried to hide it from him.

Though you didn’t post about him, Hyunjin did post about you, and basically tagged you in all of his Insta stories or group pictures. Yeonjun shamelessly cyberstalked the guy. It wasn’t one of his proudest moments, but he had to just to stay sane.  

“Baby, we were broken up. You don’t have to justify what you did or didn’t do at that time. It’s not like I expected you to turn into a nun.”  

You raise your brows in surprise at his mature response. “You’re not mad?”

“No. As long as it’s over with.”

“It is, I promise.”  

“Good,” he sucked his teeth as he watched you. “Also, it’s not like anyone can fuck you as well as I can,” he states with a devious smirk as he pulled you close, making you gulp in response to his choice of words.

He chuckles at how easily intimidated you were by him and takes the opportunity to tease you.  

“Did he?”  

“N-no.” you stutter, innocently staring up at him. “He didn’t”

“Good girl.” He says, biting his lip while letting his thumb ghost over your lower lip.

His choice of words made your stomach turn but you knew better than to let lust get the best of you once again.

“Yeonjun…” you breathe his name like a warning, trying to avert the tension. “We…we need to talk.”

“We can talk.” He shrugs, pulling your legs towards him aggressively so you’d slide down. Your back was now on the couch as he parted your legs, settling himself in between them before hovering over you to kiss over the bruises he left last night. “After I give you a little reminder.” He smiles against your skin, pulling your shirt over your bra so he could kiss a trail down to your belly button.

“God I missed you,” he says digging his nails into your waist. "So fucking much."

(Warning: heavy smut ahead!)

Your mind goes into overdrive as he unties the tie to your sweatpants, and as he does so you stare at the outline that had formed in his own.

He didn’t waste any time, pulling down the waistband of your joggers with one swift motion while you helped him by lifting your hips off the couch.

He discarded of your clothes faster than your mind could comprehend but then you noticed that he was fully clothed, when the only thing you were wearing by now were your panties.

You pouted, pulling at his waistband but he grabbed your wrist, pinning your hands above your head so he could look at you, beautiful, bare, and all his.  

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful.” His lips found their way to the sensitive nub of your breast as he eagerly licked and sucked on it while his fingers found their way onto your still clothed heat.

He rubbed his middle and index finger over your clit, making you moan at the sudden stimulation.

He pulled away, making his way down to your core as he littered your inner thigh with more and more hickeys.

You were eagerly moving your hips by now, trying to get him to kiss you where you wanted him most, but he was taking his sweet time and you were losing your patience.

“Y-Yeonjun…” you moan his name. He finally rewards you by pulling your panties aside. Licking his lips at your glistening arousal, ready to feast on you as if it was the last meal he’d ever have.

“Fuck.” He says with admiration to no one in particular, placing a soft kiss on your pussy before he started to slowly kitten-lick your sensitive nub. He lowly hummed in approval at the taste of you and fastened his pace slowly.

You gasped, arching your back to give him better access as he started to eat you out like you’ve never experienced in your life.

His skill was baffling, he had your brain melting and legs shaking while he struggled to keep you still.

“Ah…” you arch your back once more, trying to get away from the overstimulation but he held you down with his strong arms.

“Who are you running from baby, stay still.” He ordered with a low voice before getting back to business, and with ten more seconds, he had you cumming in his mouth as the vibration of his low hums drove you over the edge. You cover your own mouth to muffle your loud cries, but he pulled your hands away from your face, wanting to hear you fall apart for him.

“That’s it baby.” he mused in approval, finishing you off with one last lick before he came back up to assess your fucked out state. “So fucking good for me.”  

Your chest was heaving up and down rapidly as you were trying to catch your breath. Once again you lost to the charms of Choi Yeonjun, but he was nowhere near done with you.

He quickly got rid of his own clothes and pumped himself a few times while looking straight into your eyes.

This man is a god, and he knew it.

His mischief returned when he realized you were watching him. “I think I got you wet enough, right baby?”

You almost forgot about his grit, your mouth salivating at the sight. Any slick you could build with him was a gift, because the last thing you wanted was for him to start a fire down there, cause that’s just how big he was.

You sit up which surprised him, but when you spit in your hand and pumped him a few times to slick him up some more he chuckled lowly as he realized what you were doing. He moaned in the form of a sharp exhale as your pace fastened, but he didn’t let you take control just yet.

“Scared?” he teased, keeping his eyes on you as you twisted your wrist a little more.

“No.” you huff.

“Then turn around.”  

You comply without a thought. You were both sitting up on your knees while your back leaned against his chest. You threw your head back and he kissed your forehead sweetly. guiding himself into you while his other hand held onto your waist to stabilize you against him.

You curse at the stretch, digging your nails into his thighs for leverage as he fills you up.

You both moan as your walls clenched around him. His arms snaked around you from behind as he took a hold of your neck, pinching down on the veins on each side of your throat as he slammed his hips into you continuously with long and deep strokes.

The choking sensation made everything so much more intense, especially when the fingers of his other hand started to rub circles on your still abused clit.

Your eyes rolled back as your vision got blurry, tears prickling your eyes at how good you were being wrecked right now.

He let go of your neck, putting his hand on the small of your back to push you down on the couch so your ass was up, and your face was down.

He started to pound into you mercilessly, his rhythm and pace perfectly alternating as he grabbed a fistful of your hair. “You’re mine,” he grunted as he felt himself getting closer and closer by the physical stimulation of your tightness and the mental stimulation of your moans and mewls.

It didn’t take long before you both reached your highs as he was prone boning you into heaven.

Your orgasm washes over you, and right after you came, he reached his own high.  

He pulled out right before he busted, releasing himself onto your back with a loud growl.  

Your eyes flutter closed; way too fucked out to function as you catch your breath. You feel his weight move off of you to grab one of the napkins on your side table that came with the coffees, and wiped his cum off of you with a cocky smile on his face.

You built up the energy to look back at him, and when your eyes meet all you can do is giggle with him at how ridiculous you two are.

“So…I guess now we can talk,” he says with a smirk.

- end of smut -

Once you fully recovered from having your back blown out…quite literally. You came out of your bedroom after a quick change of clothes.

You walk into your living room while you pull a clean shirt over your head.

 Yeonjun was still on your couch, watching you with a big boyish smile on his face as his gaze followed you.

“All good?” he asks, opening his arms for you. You nod in response, excitedly making your way into his arms. He moved you on top of him so you were on his lap and kissed your cheek sweetly.

“Where do we even start.” You think out loud as you start playing with Yeonjun’s hair. He threw his head back in solace, letting you massage his scalp softly.

You chuckle at his reaction, stopping your actions which made him lift his head up immediately, giving you a kittenish angry face. “Why’d you stop.”

“Because it’s been an hour since you got here and all we do is dance around the subject,” you say as you move off of him. You turn sideways, leaning against the armrest of your couch while you drape your legs over his lap and sigh.

After deciding that Yeonjun would go first, he told you everything. From the progress he has made with his therapist to the baffling information of his mother selling Choi Enterprises and moving closer to the Uni for him. He told you about their relationship and his interest in the fashion industry. He’s been spending time with his friends in the dance studio again after years of neglecting his hobby and his grades are improving drastically compared to last year too.

He’s been doing well both mentally and socially. Even though he still has his bad days, he’s a lot happier than he was before. You listened attentively asking questions and making sure you understood every detail to your best ability.

When it was your turn to start talking, you realize just how sadistic your exchange was now that you’re explaining the details out loud. You told him about the crazy schedules, spending days from 8 am to 10 pm in the lab, neglecting your health just to forget about your heartache. You were being brutally honest, and you saw Yeonjun’s jaw clench at the revelation.  

If he knew you were having such a hard time, he would’ve contacted you more, but you explained to him how the experience made you stronger, harder and less of a cry baby.  

You spoke about your new gained independence and soon realized that, where Yeonjun needed emotional cradling, you needed to be hit with the real world without the safety net that your friends and parents always provided for you.

The two of you had been talking for over two hours, and finally came to the inevitable question.

“So…what does that make us.” You sigh as you played with his fingers.  

“Really, the ‘what are we’ question?” he chuckled, watching you play with the ring on his index finger.

“Well. Do you have an answer?” you mumble, letting go of his hand.

“I’m yours,” he says, putting his hand on your thigh while his other hand tugged on your chin to make you look up at him.

Your eyes grew in size, swallowing harshly when his fingers moved from your chin to caress your cheek. “And I don’t want to take things slow anymore, I love you too much to relive the dating phase."

“Me too,” you agree with determination. He smirked contently, leaning into you to feverishly kiss you on the lips.

“You know what that was?” He asks as he pulls away with his face still in close proximity.

“What?” you question with a giggle.

“Our first kiss as boyfriend and girlfriend.”  

You slap his chest, bursting into laughter at his cheesiness. The sound of your laughs and giggles filled the room as he started to kiss you all over your face and neck, leaving you breathless and ticklish at his touch

“I love you, Choi Yeonjun, but I think you have an important basketball game to get to.”

Of course they won.  

Yeonjun made the winning point which meant he had something to brag about all night.

You were at a local diner with all of the boys, their teammates, and respective girlfriends or boyfriends. Drinking, talking, and overall having a good time.

When Mia, Ryujin, Soobin, Taehyun, Beomgyu and Hueningkai heard the news about your new relationship status, they basically congratulated you as if you announced that you were getting married.  

The whole thing was just way too funny, and Yeonjun dragged you around all night to introduce you to everyone.  

The freshman on the team were so confused when Yeonjun introduced you as his girlfriend because they had never heard of or seen you before.  

“Hyung, Imma be honest with you, I kinda thought you were gay.” Sunghoon admits as he apologetically scratched the back of his head.

“…S-same” Heesung states, looking at you both with apologetic eyes as well.

Yeonjun looked at them a little funny as he burst into laughter, pulling you closer to him. “Why?”  

“Because well, we haven’t seen you with a girl all year, and with the way you look, I don’t know. 1+1 was gay I guess.” Jay, another freshman explained their point of view a little further, which had you cackling at the situation.

“Oh my god, so you little shits were the ones spreading rumors about me and Wooyoung!?”  

“N-no! NO!” The kids protested, but Yeonjun was already playfully grabbing them by their collars to scold them.

You laughed at the whole ordeal, love emitting from your eyes as you watched Yeonjun be in his popular guy element again.

You zoned out for a bit, absentmindedly listening to how Beomgyu and Hueningkai were telling a story about that one time they took Yeonjun’s car for a joyride in the middle of the night without his permission.  

Yeonjun noticed your mental absence, wrapping an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his chest, softly kissing your temple.

“What’s wrong?”  

You shake your head, sentiment getting the better of you. This is the most complete you’ve felt in a while.

You kissed him with fervor, your hands lacing through his dark locks before you pulled away to place a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.

“I’m just really happy right now,” you say as you smile at each other lovingly.

1 year later.

Graduation was around the corner.

It was insane how fast time flew. You celebrated your first-year anniversary with Yeonjun the night before and were now laying in his bed the next morning, slowly waking up just to feel the soreness of what he did to you last night.

You groaned in agony at the bright light, even after all this time; you still weren’t a morning person.

You noticed how Yeonjun was missing from the bed, so you got up to look for him. Putting on his large shirt to cover yourself as you made your way to the boys’ living room.

Soobin was on the couch with Taehyun and Hueningkai looking you up and down with disapproval.

“Jesus. Did you get hit by a truck in there?” Taehyun asks as he clicked his tongue.

“Shut up smart-ass. Where’s Yeonjun?”  

Taehyun chuckled, being completely used to your grumpiness in the morning by now. If Yeonjun wasn’t staying at your place, you were staying at theirs; so they were more accustomed to having you around like this.  

“He said he had to run a quick errand; he’ll be back soon,” Soobin replies with light amusement in his eyes at how roughed up you looked.

“Hey, next time…be a little more quiet.” Beomgyu tells you as he walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.  

“My room is next to Yeonjun’s you know.”

“Oh shut up hyung, I hear you and Ryujin almost every night,” Hueningkai says rolling his eyes, which made you crack your first smile of the day.

“Oh nooo, not my pure baby Hueningie” Soobin pouted as he trapped Kai in between his legs for a hug.

“Hyung, you’re gonna have to let go soon. Literally. When you guys graduate you don’t get to live here and baby me anymore.” Hueningkai protests as he tries to push Soobin off of him.

Soobin pouted, making you immediately feel bad for him. 

When Yeonjun and Soobin would move out, Jay and Heesung would move in, which meant that Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Hueningkai had to hold down the fort as seniors for one more year until they graduated, and the thought alone made Soobin feel uneasy.

Soobin and Mia were officially moving in together after graduation. They had planned their whole futures together and both had job offers in the city from their internships.

“I’ll still come over…every…weekend. You know, just to make sure.”

You drift off into thought, realizing how Yeonjun and yourself have been living your lives in the moment without concrete plans for the future together.

Since your apartment was off-campus you still got to live there after graduation. You had gotten an amazing job offer because of your research at Brown, which had major corporations battle it out with outrageous contracts, salaries, and promises to your favor so your options were most definitely open.

Your future looked bright, as did Yeonjun’s who’d be working as a Creative Director for his mothers’ luxury brand...but how did you two miss the mark on planning a future together?

Were you that caught up in your own world to realize that adult decisions had to be made soon?

Yeonjun walked in, interrupting your thoughts. “Oh, hey guys.”

He set his keys on the kitchen counter, giving you a funny look. “I texted you to get ready.”

“Oh..shit, I didn’t check my phone, Sorry. Give me 20 minutes.”

You didn’t question why he wanted you to get ready, he’d probably take you out for breakfast or some shit, so you weren’t suspecting anything, but Yeonjun could sense that something was off about you.

During the car ride to your unknown destination, he looked at you as you stared out of the window. You were lost in deep thought about the whole graduation thing and didn’t even notice how the houses on the streets were starting to get ridiculously big as you drove further and further into a random neighborhood

He grabbed your hand, kissing the inside of your palm while rubbing those comforting circles into your skin.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, trying to look at the road while also looking at you from time to time.

“I’m just…worried about life after graduation. I don’t like change.”

Yeonjun raised his brows in surprise, a soft smile tugging at his lips as he turned the corner into a brand-new built street filled with massive villas.

The neighborhood looked peaceful, not too flashy and private. Maybe even a little too perfect to be real.

He pulled up to a random house, parking his car on the driveway. The confusion was evident on your face as he opened the door for you, reaching out to take your hand.

He helped you out of the car and you give him a look, chuckling at his awkwardness. “Uh…are we here to see someone?”

He sighed, back hugging you and leaning his head on your shoulder as the both of you looked up at the house.

“What do you think of this place?”

“It’s…beautiful. But I don’t really get why we’re here.” You giggle as you feel him kiss your neck and you turn around to face him, trying to find answers in his eyes.

“If you want…we can stay here.” He bit his lip nervously. “You know, after graduation.”

“W-what? I’m confused. Like Till The End of Summer?”

He shook his head, laughing once again while snaking his arms around your waist at your innocence and obliviousness. “You’re so cute,” he muses, pulling out a set of keys from his pocket and suddenly realization hit you as pure shock takes over your features.  

He bought the fucking house.  

He couldn’t help but laugh at your shocked Pikachu face. He had been planning this behind your back for so long and it was incredibly hard to keep this a secret, especially since literally everyone knew about it but you.  

You didn’t know what to do or say, completely frozen and shocked as you look at the house with big watery eyes.  

He pulled you in for a deep and passionate kiss, giving you the keys to the front door with a big smile.  

“Till the End of Our Lives.”  

Bonus Chapter 15

[seasonofthewicth]

nobody does it like you do - act 1

I'm finally back with some more rowaelin! I started this fic in november last year and wrote the first 10k in 24 hours, but from then on this fic was a struggle... Thank you so, so much to @morganofthewildfire for sharing so much of your time to help me with this, this fic would not be here without you 💗 I'm so happy to have finally finished it and can share it on here. I hope you enjoy

CW: past drug abuse, minor character death, violence

7.7k - masterlist - ao3

--

When her agent sends her the script it’s not the first time she’s heard of Rowan Whitethorn, his name is written at the top under the heading director, which itself is under the big red text reading confidential. He’s been at this stuff for a while now, directed a couple of movies that popped up on her radar but that nothing ever came of for her, and he’s well known in the business.

He was even nominated for an Oscar a couple of years ago, and she watched the ceremony with Lysandra, slapping the bills into her outstretched hand when he didn’t win.

His movie had been far too fucking raw for him to have won, she knew that, a tale about a group of kids who witnessed a murder and how it stayed with them and fucked them up into adulthood, but it had stuck with her nonetheless and she’d put her money on him anyway.

She reads the section of script Dorian has sent her, tucked up in bed with a glass of sparkling water and her most comfortable sweater, leaning back into the mountain of expensive pillows she had Elide buy for her and pondering how so much money could end up so uncomfortable, and she knows it’s something special.

She realises she wants this role, almost to an uncomfortable degree, when she’s about five lines in. The heroine is bratty and rash, but serious and pained in a way that makes her completely fleshed out and Aelin wants to play her, wants to be her and embody her in a way that takes her out of the pit she’s in.

She hopes this could be what gets her out of it.

Aedion had tried to pull her out, gods bless him, dropping by her apartment every morning for weeks to check up on her with a coffee in his hand, topped with cream and two sugars the way he knows she likes. Each morning he let himself in with her spare key, the one she gave to him the day she moved in, wanting him to be able to let himself in whenever he wanted but also knowing there was no one else she wanted to give it to.

She would have given it to Sam, would have given everything to Sam, but he’s gone and she’s left sitting here, wondering how to salvage what’s left of her reputation.

What reputation she had even managed to build after starring in one mediocre TV show and a handful of low-budget movies. She knows deep down, and in a way her brain likes to remind her of when she’s at her lowest, that the main reason she isn’t a complete nobody is because she’s Evalin Ashryver’s daughter. Her therapist tells her every time she bothers to go to a session that having a famous mother doesn’t mean she’s a failure and that she has to recognise each of her successes as her own. She nods along every time, but she doesn’t believe her. What has she managed to accomplish truly on her own?

It hasn’t been made public yet that Rowan Whitethorn is involved in the film, she only knows because Chaol wrote the whole script himself and texted her to let her know when he signed on to direct. She’s known Chaol since she was eighteen and took her first solo trip to Rifthold, drawn to the lights of the big city and the almost magnetic pull of the heart of the industry. He’d stumbled upon her in a club she was far too young to be in and had pulled her out, sending her home in a cab that he paid for. Looking back she was grateful for his attempt to avoid what she knew later was an inevitability.

She had cursed him when he told her she’d still have to audition, but she gets it. She hasn’t exactly behaved in a way recently that makes people want to take a chance on her.

Stumbling out of clubs, eyes as wide as saucers and high as a fucking kite isn’t the kind of star casting directors are desperate to hire, but she’s trying to be better. She’s promised those around her that she’ll be better, and she knows that the only reason she hasn’t ended up in rehab is that she has an incredible therapist and a highly persuasive manner of dealing with her friends and family. The only reason they’ve taken that chance on her is time, and she’s grateful for that mercy.

She turns the page, hitting the final line for the third time. Chaol’s script is so good she’s read the few pages she’s been sent over and over.

She only reads scripts in physical copies, takes the time to print them out using her shitty printer that belongs right back in 2008, and she knows it’s wasteful but she allows herself that small luxury of the crisp paper in her hand as she delves into each new world. Her character is in the middle of a teary monologue that she knows exactly how she’d do, the way she’d halt her breath and choke out the words-- it’s not her character. Yet.

The audition is next week, and she’ll work her ass off to make sure she’s ready. Her usual pre-audition ritual involves taking up far too much of Lysandra’s time to practice reading the lines and filming herself time after time, take after take, and watching it back in the unholy hours of night until she’s happy she’s made an improvement.

Or at least that’s how she used to do it, nothing has made her want a role like this in a long while. She worries as she bites her lip, that wanting something this much means she’s getting over Sam. That maybe one day she won’t think of him and hear the pounding in her ears, won’t feel the lightheadedness that comes with a memory of their time together. Worries that if she forgets the sounds of his screams she’s failing him somehow.

She takes another sip of her sparkling water. It’s poured into a wine glass so she can at least pretend she’ll get the relaxation she craves. Alcohol was never one of her vices but she finds it’s better to be safe than sorry. It’s unhealthy as far as coping mechanisms go, but she’s been worse so it’s going down as a win.

Chaol told her some guy called Brullo is casting this one. She’s never heard of him, which is kind of rare. She’s been on the periphery of this bubble for pretty much her entire life, following her mother around her own movie sets and sitting on the wooden directors chair when her legs still dangled off the side, but if he’s like any other casting director in Adarlan she knows how to impress him.

When she reaches the last line of the part of the script she’s been sent, her mind wanders again to Rowan Whitethorn.

He’s the kind of director up and coming actors can only hope to one day work with, even though she’s pretty sure he can’t be much more than thirty, he’s built himself to a level where he can be choosy with his projects.

It's a well deserved privilege. Each of his works has stayed with her after watching, his style is gritty and dark, but grounded in a way that leaves her empty each time after finishing.

She wants this, and she buries the guilt she feels for that. Sam would want her to want this. She deserves it, or at least she hopes she can come to.

Dorian books her a mid-morning flight so she doesn’t have to wake too early before the audition, he’s a damn good agent and one she definitely doesn’t deserve with his seemingly endless patience, but she’s continuously grateful for him.

Aelin styles herself for it, ties her hair back and leaves the makeup to a minimum in a way that she hopes shows them she’s right for the part, that she can be the insecure little girl who experiences far too much. She knows she doesn’t have the sheltered innocence the character has, but she’s an actress and this is what she does. Aelin pretends for a living.

He’s also booked her a room in a pretty nice hotel for the night, she’s not sure whether he’s used her meagre acting funds or the funds from the account she knows he mom throws money into every month. It’s an argument she and Evalin have had repeatedly, she wants to stand on her own two feet, but she never protests too hard. The account kept the roof over her head when she was too busy snorting her life away to consider where her next paycheck would come from.

Aelin throws herself backwards into the crisp white bedding on the hotel room bed and takes a deep breath. The only luggage she brought with her is a carry on slung somewhere by the door and the room feels too empty to sit here and wait for the car that’s arriving to take her to the studio in just over an hour. If she sits here and waits the nerves will only build, and then she’ll itch for something to take the edge off.

She picks her phone up to text her cousin.

Jet lag from a 2 hour flight. Who would have thought?

Aelin waits two minutes for a reply, locking and unlocking her phone as she sits there, but one doesn’t come. Aedion’s probably at a training session and not checking his phone. Aelin runs a hand through her hair, careful not to dislodge the pins she placed carefully in it this morning, she needs to stop using him as her crutch. She knows he doesn’t mind, but it’s not right either way.

She needs to get out of this room.

The streets of Rifthold are busy and crammed as she meanders down them, clutching the takeout coffee cup she bought from a vendor with a stall at the side of the road.

People pay her no mind as she walks, the oversized shades hide her eyes that she knows are a dead giveaway for her membership of the Ashryver line. Even if she didn’t wear them, everybody else here wants to be someone, and so far she can still blend in if she tries.

She sends a text to the assistant organising the audition, it’s kind of shitty of her but she keeps it brief because she can’t remember their name, letting them know the car isn’t needed anymore and that she’ll make her own way there. She needs the stroll through the streets to clear her head.

Aelin needs to nail it. She hasn’t felt the twisting of desire so sharp in her stomach for a long time and the only way she’ll manage it is with a clear head.

She alternates her breathing with sips of her coffee, the taste is bitter but she keeps drinking. She pulls her phone out to check the directions to the studio.

Spontaneous isn’t a word Aelin would use to describe herself anymore, any longing to go with the flow died the minute she lost control. It’s safer now to plan, to make sure she won’t lead herself astray.

Brullo is a man in his mid forties, with dashes of grey seasoned through his muddy brown hair, and kind lines around his eyes as he smiles and shakes her hand. Aelin wipes the sweat off her palm on her jeans before clasping her hand in his.

The audition goes about as well as she can hope for, she remembers every line, and the other casting director is fairly natural reading the lines for her to act against. Aelin swallows back her tears after she finishes, trying to keep what dignity she can to end the audition when there’s snot threatening to run down her upper lip. It was a brutal scene to start with, but if she can pull this off she can surely manage the rest.

Brullo’s expression is carefully guarded as she leaves, giving nothing away, but Aelin thinks she did a good job, which is all she could have ever hoped for.

She’s staring at the tiled floor, mulling over Brullo’s parting words, thanks Aelin, our people will be in touch, when she hits something hard and warm.

She’s too busy dissecting those eight words to register exactly who it is with their hands clamped around the top of her arms, steadying her as she stumbles, but she looks up and her gaze meets that of a pair of striking, green eyes.

The man gripping her is easily over a head taller than her, broad and strong enough that she fights back the shiver that wants to roll through her at his touch. He’s staring down at her, the strong planes of his face drawn into a deep frown, with his strangely coloured eyebrows pulled in.

They’re a kind of silver that matches his short cut hair, and it shines in the fluorescent light of the hallway in a way that it can only be natural, but she’s never seen a shade quite like it.

“Sorry,” she manages to stutter out, still thrown from the vulnerability of her audition.

“It’s alright.” His voice burns through the words, his accent rolling in a way that raises hairs down the back of her neck. He flashes her a dangerous grin and she steadies herself. She knows what that look means. She’s used to the male attention, and as much as she hates to acknowledge it, she knows her looks are an element of how she’s got as far as she has. That and her family’s name.

The decision of whether to register in the guild as Aelin Ashryver or Aelin Galathynius was one she had spent hours deliberating over. Did she want the level of independence Galathynius would give her, or the reputation being an Ashryver would bring?

The man releases his grip on her shoulders, but not before running his hands down her arms until he reaches her wrists which he releases with a light squeeze. She takes an almost imperceptible step back, leaning back to breathe some air into her lungs. All she ends up doing is filling her mind with this man’s smell, inviting and intoxicating, a delicious combination of pine trees and snowy winter mornings.

“I don’t usually go around slamming into people like this,” she tells him, letting some of her snark slip through. He’s said two words to her so far but she knows he can take it, and she wants to play.

His grin becomes even more wicked and it truly is a sight to see. This man is built like a god; broad, muscular shoulders stretching the white button up he wears and she spies the dark lines of a tattoo threatening to slip past his collar.

It’s been a couple of months since her last mindless hook-up, and this man would more than do. The mischief glimmering in his eyes tells her he’d know how to make her gasp and beg.

“Slam into me anytime.” His words are a sensual croon and her mouth drops open slightly, but he sidesteps her before she can manage to speak again, nodding towards the door she’s come through. “Good luck with whatever you were here for.”

With that he’s gone, leaving her to turn and watch the way his grey slacks pull against his thighs as he walks away from her.

Aelin tries not to think too much about the outcome of the audition, and flies back to Orynth in economy class with a sleep mask tucked over her eyes lest she be recognised when all she wants to do is curl up in bed and be alone for a bit. That or get fucking wasted, and she can’t do that.

She tries far too hard to forget about the man from the hallway, forget about the way his voice had rumbled deep in her chest and the tug in her belly that his words had sent through her.

She begs Elide to come to a bar with her, and she agrees. Aelin needs to pay her more, maybe change her title from publicist to publicist-come-part-time-therapist-and-life-saver. Aelin’s not sure she has the budget for that really.

Elide would smack her if she knew Aelin’s thoughts. Would scold her for looking at Elide just like an employee as if they weren’t childhood friends and Elide hadn’t been there holding her hand through the whole Sam thing. As if she, Lysandra and Aedion hadn’t been her only reason for being here now.

A bar might be a risk, but she can sip her sparkling water while she browses the small selection of men that Orynth has to offer.

She enjoys the easy conversation she has with Elide, chatting about what their friends have been up to, even though most of them are mainly Elide’s friends at this point. After Sam she stopped speaking to everyone but those who were necessary. She couldn’t manage any more than that.

“You should come with us next time,” Elide is saying as she sips her own lemonade. Aelin knows Elide would normally choose a crisp glass of white wine over a lemonade and her sobriety solidarity touches her heart.

“Maybe,” she shrugs, noncommittal.

The look Elide wears tells her she’s debating pushing the issue for the millionth time against the risk that Aelin would pull back again. She hates that she does this to her friends so she sighs.

“Text me next time,” she tries. “I’ll see if I’m free.”

Elide offers her a thankful smile, and Aelin returns it, trying to tell herself this is what she needs and that she shouldn’t just stay locked up thinking about Sam.

There’s a dark haired guy at the bar catching her eye, his jeans are far too tight and his shirt is ridiculous, but she can see the body beneath and his face is striking. Elide notices her stare and smirks.

She likely knows why Aelin invited her out tonight, but doesn’t mind. Lorcan’s probably waiting for her at the home they share, waiting for her to come back so they can be in love. Aelin hates the bastard, except she doesn’t. She introduced her friend to the tall, dark and grouchy hockey player at the wrap party for the shit teen movie she did a couple of years back, and she’s big enough to admit she wants what they have.

She had what they have.

What’s left in her glass slips down her throat easily in one mouthful and she promises to text Elide tomorrow before slipping out of the booth and over to the guy at the bar.

“You going to just stare at me all night?” She asks with a sly smile. “Or did you plan on doing something about it at some point?”

His smile makes him look even more attractive.

“Maybe I was waiting for you to make the first move, a beautiful girl like you can be intimidating.”

It’s a shit line and she rolls her eyes, but tugs him into a cab back to her place anyway.

“Please.” Her voice shakes as she begs. “Please don’t do this.”

The man in front of them scoffs and Sam squeezes her hand, his palm rough against her own.

“Aelin, baby. It’s okay, just do what he says.”

He lets go of her hand and turns back to the guy in front of them. His face is covered by a black mask, only two slits show her the dark brown of his eyes. She can barely look away from the knife he holds out in front of himself, it’s pointed at Sam but that doesn’t make her feel any better, it makes her feel worse in fact.

“Your wallet,” the guy demands.

Tears are rolling down her cheeks, fat and hot, as she fishes around in her bag for her purse.

“Just dump the whole thing,” the guy growls, irritated, but she’s pretty sure she’s going into shock and she can’t focus. Can’t breathe.

Sam’s voice is steady by her side as he throws his own wallet onto the street in front of them.

“Alright, man. We’re doing everything you say.”

“Hands up.” The mugger’s voice is sharp. “Don’t fucking move.”

She raises her arms straight in the air, trying to control the way her hands are shaking and the attacker ducks down to grab their things.

She lets out a tiny whimper and feels Sam spin to her, his eyes begging her to trust him. No, she shakes her head.

“I said don’t fucking move,” the guy yells and lunges for Sam.

His scream cuts the night air and she whirls, hands dropping into the air between them as he drops to the ground. The mugger takes off, sprinting down the empty street and she falls to her knees by Sam’s side.

In the dark, the pool spilling out across the floor by Sam’s side just looks black, but she knows that really it’s red. She’s not stupid. His face is twisted in pain and her hands flutter around his torso before she manages to pull back the flap of his jacket.

There’s a hole in his white t-shirt and now her jeans are wet where she kneels.

She needs her phone, needs to call someone who can make this all better, but her phone is gone.

She presses her hands against his side and his eyes shutter closed as he gasps. His breathing is stuttered and uneven.

“Sam. Sam, no,” she cries. “I’ll get help. You’re okay.”

“Aelin.” He raises a hand to press against her cheek, and the blood on it is sticky and warm.

“No, Sam. No, stay with me.”

The scream that tears through her throat will hurt tomorrow but now she barely feels it. “HELP!”

His breathing becomes much quicker as she presses on his side and screams again.

She knows abstractly that she’s crying, tears and snot streaming down her face as she desperately presses her hands against his side.

There’s a strong arm around her waist, tugging her back and away from Sam, and she screams one word over and over.

“No, no, no, no.”

There are people here now, leaning over Sam, leaning over his body.

“NO.”

Aelin gasps as she launches up in her bed. The sheets are stuck to her clammy skin and her head flies to the side. The guy is gone, the side of the bed he occupied when she fell asleep now cold. Good.

She lives it over and over in her dreams, sees the dark street more often than not, feels the phantom warmth of his blood down her legs. Wakes screaming herself hoarse just as she did that night. She doesn’t normally let people stay the night. Even when Aedion tried for the first few weeks after the fact, she couldn’t sleep, couldn’t turn her brain off for even a second. Every time she closed her eyes she was back on that street, begging and pleading for him to open his eyes.

She grasps at her side for the switch of her bedside lamp and flicks it on. Her room is cold and empty and she hasn’t had it in her to decorate past the basics so it’s plain and impersonal when she looks around, trying to calm her breathing.

She checks the time. 6:25am. Not bad, she must have managed about six hours of sleep last night, and it’s more than she usually gets.

There're a few texts waiting in her inbox, including one from Elide, and she expects it to be a request to let her know that she got home safe but it’s not.

Call me as soon as you wake up.

Sent at 6:02am. Elide is a chronic overworker, no matter how much Aelin begs her to stick to a 9 to 5 schedule, but she couldn't imagine her friend any other way. The smiling emoji at the end of the text lets her know it’s nothing she needs to panic about, so she takes a moment to scroll through her other messages. It’s unusual for her to wake up to so many.

She clicks on her conversation with Dorian, the only message she can see, his most recent one, just says Aelin. He has sent her nine messages while she slept, and she scrolls up to reach the first one.

Aelin, you did it. You booked the Rowan Whitethorn movie.

Her heart pounds in her chest, running into overdrive as she processes the words on her screen.

She got the part. She fucking did it.

This is one of those moments she knows she’ll remember.

Dorian has forwarded over a number of contracts and official things but she ignores them in favour of dialling Elide’s number.

“Aelin!” Her friend’s voice is breathy when she answers. “Congratulations, I knew you could do it.”

“Thanks, El.” A pause where she takes a deep breath in. “I can’t believe it.”

She falls back onto her mattress, pressing a fist to her lips as she smiles, eyes closed, almost giddy as she listens to her friend talk.

“They’re putting a press release out today at 12:30, announcing you and the male lead, who I haven’t found out yet but I will.”

“Oh my gods,” she sighs, covering her eyes with a clammy hand.

“I know,” Elide laughs.

She allows herself one tear as she stares up at the white of her ceiling.

This is big, she can feel it.

Later her phone buzzes as Elide sends her links to two different articles breaking the news.

Fenrys Moonbeam and Aelin Ashryver to star in new Chaol Westfall drama. More to follow.

Rowan Whitethorn signs on to direct The Crescent City, the latest project from Chaol Westfall (Throne of Glass, The King’s Hand & more).

She presses the phone to her chest as she lets out a sigh of relief.

It all moves pretty quickly from that point.

She’s on a plane back to Rifthold the next day and Chaol has sent over the whole script for her to read on the plane, bypassing Dorian completely even though that’s how it normally goes and she knows the two are like brothers.

Chaol was the one to introduce her to Dorian, and they kind of took her under their showbiz wings in the first few years she began to get really serious about acting.

They gave her the inside scoop, having been in the industry for a few more years than her. Chaol writing and making movies and Dorian doing all the background stuff like contracts and negotiations and exposure. They took her to their wrap parties that everyone knows are just networking events and introduced her to some of the big names in the industry without so much as batting an eyelid, and she knows she owes them a lot.

The script is phenomenal, and she has to try and hide the tears that form when she reaches the end, it probably wouldn’t be the best start to the project, being photographed crying on the plane on the way to start shooting. It really is some of Chaol’s best work, and she sends him a text when she lands that says fuck you, I hate it, but his reply lets her know he knows she’s joking.

It tells the story of her character, Feyre, and how she’s dragged into selling drugs to pay for her mom’s hospital bills. Along the way she meets Fenrys Moonbeam’s character, Rhysand, the glowering bad-boy who’s well established in the gang and together they see some shit and do some shit but manage to get out together. The topics are kind of cliché and over done, but Chaol has managed to add a level of originality to it that makes it really special.

It’s heavier on the romance than Rowan Whitethorn’s previous projects, but it’s gritty enough that she can see why he’s signed on. It’s going to be hard, she knows this, and it will really push her to her limits trying to embody the range of emotions her character goes through. But she wants it, and she will make her performance incredible if it fucking kills her.

There’s a niggling part of her brain that reminds her that she’s surrounded by some big names on this project, names that are big for a reason, and she can’t let them hiring her be a mistake.

She sends Chaol a follow up text, wtf are these names btw???

He ignores her.

When she’s in the car taking her to the apartment the studio is renting out for her while they film she decides to take a little trip through Instagram and look up her new co-star. Fenrys is a household name by now, a couple of years in after his debut, but it can’t hurt to know a little more about her leading man.

f.moonbeam01 comes up as the first option when the types the three letters f e n into the search bar and he has over eleven million followers.

Shit.

Not that she needs a reminder but it slaps her in the face that this is actually big. Aelin only has a few thousand followers herself and Elide has already told her to prepare herself for that to rise.

His Instagram is a mixture of mostly photos of himself, some selfies and some professional shots, and he’s obviously gorgeous. His deep brown complexion playing well against his golden curls with a straight strong nose and flawless white teeth. He’s definitely leading man material, and she can tell just how charming his grin is even through a screen.

There are also promo pictures for all the movies he’s involved in at the moment, there are at least three projects he has coming out this year. Damn.

His most recent picture is a screenshot of the article announcing their casting, and he’s actually tagged her in the photo along with Rowan himself. She hasn’t seen the tag until now, it’s normally Elide’s job as her publicist to tackle the professional side to her social media, but there’s 6.4 million likes on the photo.

Again, shit.

She can’t help herself from clicking onto Rowan’s account, rowanwhitethorn is a pretty simple handle. He only has 27 posts, most of them are behind the scenes shots from projects, one with his classic director’s chair that has his surname printed across the back in thick white lettering, and a few pictures of different cameras and pieces of equipment.

There’s only one picture of him on there, and it’s from 2017. He has his back to the camera and the sunset behind him lends a shadow that covers all of his features. Very artsy she muses to herself as she double taps the screen to like it, he probably won’t see anyway, the notification will probably get lost in the ones his account no doubt gets from his 2 million followers. The only thing she can gather from the photo about his physical appearance is that he has pretty broad shoulders.

She’s tempted to google him, wanting to know what he looks like, but she feels a bit too much like a stalker, and she knows she’ll meet him in a couple of days anyway so she leaves it and pulls up her emails to reply to the seemingly endless list of forms she has to fill out and send back to Dorian.

The apartment she’s living in for the next few months is modern and airy, with clean lines and bright decor. Aelin likes it, and while it’s not hers in the same way as her home back in Orynth, it’s far better than a hotel room that lower budget movies tend to shove actors in. Another reminder that this time is different, there’s a bigger budget than she’s used to, bigger names than she’s used to, and she can’t fuck this up. There’s more eyes on her now than ever before.

She sends Elide a picture of her new bedroom and her friend just replies with a bunch of exclamation marks and she forwards the picture across to Lysandra too. Aelin wanders through to the kitchen, wondering if anyone bothered to stock the kitchen, not that she can’t do groceries herself, it would just be nice. She’s delighted to find a fridge full of fresh produce and gets about making herself a dish of pasta and veggies.

She tucks herself in front of the big television, munching away as she watches some National Geographic documentary about whales and it helps to take her mind off the fact that this is her last night of peace for a while. She’s trying not to get too in her head about it, there’s a fine line between knowing it’s a big deal and freaking the fuck out about it, and she needs to stay on the right side of that line, needs to keep herself in check.

If she allows herself a moment to relax, a moment to sink into the situation and bask in the opportunity; she’s excited.

And depending on how well this movie does, she knows she may not have another night like this one. Somehow the thought doesn’t seem to scare her.

Lysandra calls her as she’s waiting for the car to arrive to take her to the studio, it's day one of their table read today and she’s tired. She spent all of last night tossing and turning, unable to shut her mind off and panicking over every single detail of how this day could go.

She’s lucky it’s only a table read, she’s not sure even a professional make-up artist would be able to cover the dark circles under her eyes.

“Hello, you.” Lysandra’s voice is cheery through the phone and Aelin smiles, she’s really missed Lysandra and hasn’t taken nearly enough time to seek her out during her recent whirlwind. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

They had texted since the news dropped, but with Lysandra shooting a campaign for a brand she can’t remember somewhere over in the Southern Continent they haven’t had time yet for a call.

“Thanks Lys,” she says as she gets into the back of the sleek black car that the studio has sent for her, tucking her small black backpack onto the seat next to her. It’s all she can use at this point, any other bag just makes her think of that night.

“How’s it going? Have you met everyone yet?”

Lysandra runs in these circles of A list celebrities and Aelin wouldn't be surprised if she already knew Fenrys. She met Lysandra when they were teens; years before her first show for Victoria’s Secret, years before she was walking for people like Gucci and Prada, and they stayed close when they were both living off cheap ramen and thin strands of hope. Aelin likes to tease her about hanging with a lowly C-lister like herself but Lysandra is always quick to quip that she’s maybe a G-lister at a push.

That could change.

“I haven’t met anyone so far, but I’m literally on my way to meet everyone now.”

“That’s exciting, you’ll have to let me know if Fenrys Moonbeam is really that good looking in person.”

“So you don’t already know him?” she asks, teasing. Maybe Lysandra doesn’t know quite everyone.

“Oh you know, apart from every week-end when we hook-up, we’re not really that good friends.”

Aelin laughs, mostly to herself, knowing that somewhere out there that probably is a story that’s cropped up in some cheap tabloid. She knows there’s probably some dating rumours about herself and Fenrys already even though she’s still yet to meet him. It’s just how it is, she knows this, has known this since she was old enough to read the stories about her parents’ messy divorce.

“What does Aedion have to say about that, hm?”

“Oh, he joins us obviously!” Lysandra’s laugh is bright and loud through the grainy speaker.

No-one is more desperate for Aedion to propose to Lysandra than Aelin, not even the magazines, desperate for a scoop of the golden couple, quarterback for the Rifthold Ravens and the world-famous supermodel.

“I think I’ve heard enough, thanks,” Aelin laughs as the car pulls through security checks at the studio. “Lys, I have to go, I’ve just got to the studio.”

“Okay, good luck! Promise you’ll call me later though and let me know how it goes.”

She needs to make sure she puts aside a minute to catch up properly with Lysandra, she’s been slacking recently and she knows her friend misses her. She misses Lysandra too, and Aedion. Maybe she’ll stay with them for a couple of days when she gets a break from filming, she can probably see them far more often now that she’s in Rifthold too.

“I promise,” she agrees. “Tell Aedion to make sure he spoils you from me.”

Lysandra snorts, “Oh he does, I’ll pass it along anyway though.”

“Means a lot. Love you, got to go.”

Lysandra’s returning love you is sincere, but she cuts off the phone as the car comes to a stop outside the plain brick building.

She readies herself in the back of the car, pulling down a deep breath to center herself, she can do this.

The girl leading her to the room doesn’t speak other than to tell Aelin to follow right this way, and she’s grateful, she’s not sure she could speak right now without vomiting all over the dated linoleum flooring.

She needs to get a grip, and fight the urge for a hit that strikes her when she’s nervous like this. It could make her fears disappear, at least for a moment before they all came crashing back down ten-times worse the minute the high faded. There is a reason she packed that shit in, and she knows her nerves will pass. It’s been a while since she’s done any of this, her last movie read was pre-Sam and no matter how hard she tries to push it down, there’s a lot of pressure on her for this to go well.

The girl pauses outside an unassuming white door and holds a hand out to gesture for Aelin to go in. She rolls her shoulders back, holding her head high before she steps into the room. If all else fails she’s still Evalin Ashryver’s daughter and to some people that is something to be proud of.

Fenrys Moonbeam is the first person to catch her eye when she steps into the room, and it seems he’s done some stalking too because he ends his conversation by the food table with some others she doesn’t recognise and bounds straight over to her with a grin.

“Aelin Ashryver,” he says, his voice deep and smooth like velvet. “I’ve heard of you. It’s a pleasure.”

“You have?” She’s both surprised and not at the same time as she holds a hand out for him to shake.

He bypasses the hand she holds out and tugs her into his chest, wrapping both arms around her and knocking her backpack off her shoulder.

“I have,” he says as he bends down to pick her bag back up. “Sorry about that.”

She shakes her head. She needs to stop acting like a bewildered school girl meeting the Queen, she needs to remember that she has second billing for this movie thanks to Dorian.

“Don’t worry about it.” Aelin finds a smile and plasters it on.

Someone calls for everyone to take their seats and she notices the name placards spaced out in front of each chair. She locates her own and it's surreal to see her name printed there, Aelin Ashryver, between Fenrys and another actress playing her sister called Manon Blackbeak. She’s even less known than Aelin, and she only feels slightly guilty for how much that relaxes her.

Aelin knows how this goes down, they sit opposite the production team, the director and all the executive producers and she realises that she’s opposite the sign that reads Rowan Whitethorn.

She slides into her seat, Fenrys and Manon chatting over her head as she does, and she spots a male slipping into the chair opposite her. He’s wearing a slim-fit forest green henley and dark jeans, his shoulders are just as broad as they were in his Instagram photo and here there’s no shadow across his handsome features.

She can’t deny that he’s attractive, she knew it the first time she saw him. Her stare locks onto the man from the hallway after her audition and he smirks at her as if they have a secret. And maybe they do, but now she’s realising that he’s her boss, and a little voice in her head that sounds suspiciously like Elide is whispering to her that opportunities like this don’t come around everyday.

She owes it to Sam and she owes it to herself not to fuck this up, but the look that Rowan Whitethorn is sending her across the table makes her think she could risk it all.

It takes them three hours to run through it in full, and she’s happy to see she’s not the only one with a tear in her eye at the end. Rowan doesn’t cry, but he hasn’t looked at her since before they started and each time she read a line she avoided looking at him. She knows there were a couple of times where he nodded along with her expression of the lines. She’s ignoring it.

This is what she lives to do, they’re not even filming yet and she feels like she’s right where she needs to be. It’s cliche but she breathes easier when she acts, the air feels lighter when she takes on a new personality and feels all the things she’s told to feel.

It takes away the restlessness she feels when it’s all just down to her, being told how to feel is far easier.

Her therapist tells her she has both anxiety and PTSD, but she feels like giving it a name doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. She knows a diagnosis can be a relief for some, but to Aelin, what she feels is far too messy to be summed up in four letters. Her life has simply become the before, and the after, even though what each of those contains is a complete fucking shit show.

There are two Aelins; pre that night and post that night.

The Aelin from before that night doesn’t exist anywhere but in her own memory.

Once the run through is completed and basic notices are given by the producers, things like call sheet distributions and health and safety, the occupants of the room begin to mingle. She sees him make a beeline for her, and she swallows. She’s not ready for this.

“You look surprised to see me.” His voice is as hot as it was the last time she saw him, the slight rasp in his throat and his accent. Gods, the accent.

“You don’t look too surprised to see me.” She tilts her head at him because she feels way thrown off, like he has all the power here. Which he does. But like, she can play it cool. Fake it ‘til you make it, right? “Maybe had a little google search?”

He shakes his head at her, biting his lip kind of like he wants to laugh, and she bristles. She needs to level the playing field.

“Says you.” He’s definitely laughing now. “I saw you liked my photo last night.”

“What about it?” She shrugs, hoping her acting skills are up to it. He only tilts his head to the side as he takes her in.

“Do you think I didn’t know who you were in the corridor? I’m the director.” And fuck him for saying it like that, full of an easy confidence that in any other situation would have had heat pooling in the floor of her stomach. “Brullo discussed the casting with me.”

Right. Of course.

She’s not sure what to say next. Honestly? She kind of wants to flirt with him, but fuck.

Instead she hums a laugh, not really caring whether he thinks it’s sincere or not, and looks absentmindedly around the room instead of back up at him. He reaches a hand out to brush his fingers down her arm, looping them round the bones of her wrist and squeezing slightly like he did the last time before letting go. Her eyes snap back to his.

“Just between you and me?” he asks and the smile he wears is far too hot for her to deal with right now. “I think we made a good choice.”

“Thanks,” she says, but it’s a little too breathy. A little too dazed for having spent such a short amount of time in his presence. She’s aware that she needs to be careful, they are very much not alone in this room right now, and she doesn’t need to start any rumours that would destroy her chances of escaping this without a scandal.

She’s here to do a job, and she’s going to do it well. She doesn’t need any distractions.

He leaves her soon after that, and his parting remark of “have a good first day, Aelin” sticks with her, and she tries not to replay the way his voice had wrapped around her name.

Manon Blackbeak is watching them from across the room, and she arches one perfectly shaped eyebrow at Aelin. She ignores her; let her think what she wants, she’s surely professional enough not to gossip to any press, and stomps over to where Fenrys is chatting with one of the producers. It seems like a good enough place to start.

[lubdubsworld]

Insatiable ( Jungkook x Oc) Chapter 5

Pairing : Jeon Jungkook x OC

Rating 18+

Genre : Vampire Au!!!! , DILF! Jungkook ! Bodyguard AU! Babysitter OC!   Age difference!!!

Chapter 1   Chapter 2  Chapter 3    Chapter 4

Chapter 5 

“Well, this is confusing.” 

Namjoon was staring at him like he’d grown an extra head and Jungkook grunted from where he was trying to deadlift the 250lbs barbell, dropping it back down to stare at his friend. He’d never been able to deadlift this much. But then, today everything about him felt different. His senses heightened, vision sharper and just a lot  more energy than usual. 

“What?” He snapped, slightly annoyed because .... well, he had no idea why he was so annoyed. And that only added to his already foul mood.

“You look like you had a good night. A  really  good night but you’re also acting like you really need to get laid. So I’m trying to figure out which it is?” Namjoon frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 

Jungkook groaned , grabbing the small towel from the chair and soaking up the sweat dotting the back of his neck. He walked over to the water dispenser in the corner of the gym, pouring himself a glass, tipping it over his head and shaking out of his hair as the water dripped down his face and neck, drenching his sweat soaked tank top even more. . 

Somewhere to his right, one of the ladies on the treadmill, tripped, crashing in a heap on the machine and he couldn’t help but smirk. She had been staring at him the entire time. 

Jungkook was used to attention. He was used to the stares and the lust and the heightened heart rates he induced . It had been bad, even in his days as a human and now, five centuries later as a powerful vampire , it had only grown. 

He was handsome. He was fit and he was a good guy. It was only natural that women wanted him. And he was okay with that. It gave him the luxury of being able to pick and choose, who he wanted in his bed. And he did. 

Not that he did it often. With Joowon to care for, Jungkook often went months on end without sex and that was okay. Because the kind of sex he usually had, it was just ...a release. There was nothing intimate or personal about it. 

Even with Helena it had been the friendship that had appealed to him.

Helena was ...fun. She liked to sail through the world, doing as she pleased and taking lovers everywhere. No one could keep her in a place for long and no one could ground her. There had been a time when he had thought that he was in love with her but that was just Helena. She made you feel like you couldn’t live without her. Because of how much happiness she imbibed in the moments. Because of how non judgemental and kind she was. 

And he loved her. But now , centuries later it was the love of a dear friend. 

But with Sera..... it had been something else. 

He had a way he did things. 

A little kissing , a little foreplay and just a whole lot of fucking with multiple orgasms for everyone involved. He had a quick refractive period and supernatural stamina so of course he was going to take advantage of that. 

But none of that had happened last night. 

The actual sex had lasted a scant few minutes. He hadn’t even been inside her more than five minutes and yet the memory was seared into his head. The phantom warmth of her still around him and the scent of her still tugging on his senses. 

And the taste of her. 

Fucking hell. 

Jungkook had never fed from someone during sex. He just didn’t because drinking from someone , taking their life essence...it just...it was something incredibly intimate. It was important to him. Jungkook hardly ever fed from humans , opting to visit a blood cafe for a drink or a dispensary for a few blood bags when he needed to feed. 

But last night. 

“Earth to Jeon Jungkook.” Namjoon’s voice pulled him to the present. 

He stared at his oldest, dearest friend. 

“I slept with Sera.” His voice cracked on the syllables of her name, his tone dripping with regret and Namjoon stiffened. 

“You... what? “ He stared at him in disbelief. 

Jungkook groaned. 

“Fuck... I drank from her too. “ He buried his face into his hands. 

“Jungkook, that’s... “

“It was her first time. “ Jungkook looked up at him, eyes wide and helpless and Namjoon’s jaw came unhinged. 

“Are you going to tell me you’re the pope next? Because my heart can’t take it...” 

Jungkook groaned.

“I’m such a fucking idiot. It was supposed to be a no strings attached thing. “

Namjoon’s gaze softened. 

“Dude, a girl’s first time? Of course she’s going to get attached. Did she like confess?” 

Jungkook hesitated.

“No. Actually, she just got dressed and left.” He shrugged. 

Namjoon frowned. 

“Oh, then that’s good right?” 

Jungkook felt a little sick. He remembered how empty his bed had felt, after she’d kissed him and slipped back into her clothes and rushed back to sleep in her own bed. He hadn’t even helped clean her up because his limbs had felt a bit like jelly. He’d been punch drunk with the taste of her, his head swimming and his body thrumming and she had practically skipped out of his room, not a care in the world. 

Hadn’t even kissed him good bye. 

“Yeah. Good. “ He said hoarsely , head pounding . 

Namjoon was staring at him .

“What ?!” Jungkook snapped, foul mood returning with a vengeance. 

“Oh my God. “ Namjoon began laughing. 

Jungkook stared at him...What the fuck was wrong with Namjoon.

“You’re the one who got attached.” Namjoon’s eyes were wide as saucers, his fingers pointed right in Jungkook’s face. 

The younger yelped, stepping back. 

“No.. I.. what?!”

“You look so upset that she left you after sex... I’ve seen that kicked puppy look before. You wore that same face when Joowon didn’t cry on his first day at school!! ‘ Isn’t he gonna miss me hyung?” You whined... i remember that fucking face Jeon jungkook!!!” 

 Namjoon was on the floor now, guffawing and clutching his sides. 

Jungkook glared at his friend. 

“What the fuck...no i did not!!” He swore. 

Namjoon merely continued laughing.

“Oh, the sweet sweet taste of karma. Serves you right Jeon Jungkook, considering the hearts you’ve broken over  the years.” 

Jungkook glared at his friend. 

Namjoon had no fucking idea what he was on about. Him? Catch feelings ? 

Like hell. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He couldn’t find her . 

And when he realized why he couldn’t find her, he couldn’t believe it. 

“What the fuck do you mean she’s gone on a date?” He snapped at Jimin who gave him an unamused look.

“I’m your hyung, you bastard!” The shorter male yelled and next to him his wife rubbed a soothing hand on his shoulder.

“What Jimin means is that, Yugyeom came by earlier when she was getting changed for dinner...” 

“He came into the room when she was getting changed?” Jungkook stared in disbelief, “ What the actual fuck...”

Jimin choked and Somi let out a giggle.

“That’s not what I meant. Sera came back to the room after closing up the daycare and Yugyeom texted her.... that he wanted to pick her up for dinner. She agreed and told me to tell you that she’ll be back at around eleven...” 

“Where the hell did they go? I need an address.” Jungkook snapped. 

Jimin stared at him like he’d spouted latin. 

“what?” He gaped. 

Somi held a hand up.

“Yugyeom’s an old friend of ours. He took her out for dinner, that’s all. She’s been out with him before ...Don’t worry Jungkook ssi... She’s perfectly safe with him.” Somi said quickly.

Jungkook merely shook his head, glaring at the pair.

“You should know better than to do this. You know how fucking good she smells to vampires. How could you send her out of the estate without security....in the company of a Kim , no less?  I am right here... It’s literally my job to be with her at al times.. Its what I’m paid to do.... ..why didn’t you tell me...” He shook his head. 

Jimin and Somi exchanged looks. 

“You’re certainly very dedicated to ....your job.” Jimin frowned. Somi meanwhile was holding a hand up and giggling behind it. 

God, he couldn’t carry on a conversation with two people who acted like literal children. 

He had to go find the Chief. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook blinked.

Once . Twice. 

“I’m sorry sir, could you repeat that?” He said sharply. 

Chief Hwang gave him a confused look. 

“I said , you can stay back today evening and help me with the accounts Jungkook-ah.I do know that Sera’s going for dinner with Yugyeom and well, I really need help with the balancing . I think the gardener has been playing fast and loose with buying germanium seeds and charging them as Lilies . Is he pocketing the difference or is there something else going on...” 

Jungkook, who really couldn’t give two fucks about germaniums or Lilies , merely stared at the patriarch of the clan, trying to decide if the older man was joking because how on earth was he supposed to just....

“Let her go on the date alone? Without me?” He asked, his tone screaming that he wasn’t okay with that.

 At all. 

Chief Hwang hummed.

“Yes of course... I’ve known the boy for two centuries. He’s a good man. “ 

“You’ve known me for five centuries.” Jungkook reminded him , instinctively.

 And then he blinked because why on earth had he said that? 

Chief Hwang had an amused look on his face. 

“Yes of course. And you’re a very fine young man as well, Jungkook. Too bad you think Sera is like a daughter to you....” 

Wait. 

What? 

Was the older man teasing him? Jungkook could’ve sworn he saw a hint of mischief in the vampire’s eyes. 

“Don’t you?” Chief Hwang asked. 

“Sir?” 

“Don’t you think of her as a daughter, Jungkook-ah.? Isn’t that what you told her?” 

Jungkook had the sudden terrible feeling that Sera told her father  everything. 

 “Uh..it was just an expression sir. She’s a good ... friend.” He finished. 

Chief Hwang hummed thoughtfully. 

“I see. Well, Yugyeom thinks she would make a wonderful mate. “ He shrugged.

Jungkook felt his fists clench. 

“I still think I should be there sir... Just to... make sure she’s safe. It’s kind of my job.” He said gruffly. 

“Are you sure? Germaniums and Lilies are vastly different and for the gardener to-”

“Sir to be very honest I don’t really care about the damn flowers. Sera needs to be safe and I’m not letting anyone hurt her on my watch. So I’d really appreciate if you tell me where she is....” Jungkook said sharply. His heart was pounding. 

Chief Hwang gave him a thoughtful glance, his lips quirking up in a smile. 

“ Looks like I’ll be planning a wedding after all.” He chuckled thoughtfully and Jungkook frowned, confused.

“Sir?” 

“Let me put you out of your misery, Jungkook ah... She’s having dinner at the Hyatt Resort.... The private conference room on the seventh floor. Yugyeom reserved it for her.” The older man glanced at his watch and smiled, “  There’s a fire work show in exactly half an hour. Sera loves those.... If you leave right now, you can interrupt them right on time. “ 

Jungkook blushed , blood rushing to his face. 

“Sir.. I’m not.. I don’t...want to interrupt.” God, he sounded fake to his own ears. 

Chief Hwang waved him off with a laugh. . 

“Go on go on..And maybe buy me some patbingsu on your way back..!! “

Jungkook stared. 

“Uh yes sir. “ 

“Good. Close the door on your way out, son.”  

Jungkook closed the door, trying to ignore the way warmth flooded his heart at the way the man had addressed him. 

 Son. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

AUTHOR’S nOTE : a short chapter because I wanted to write something from Jungkook’s point of you...also Chief Hwang playing cupid is my favorite thing ever...

@ladyartemesia        @veronawrites   @alpaca1612     @bonyg    @unseejuice21  @sppvjj     @ggukkieland     @tae-by-tae      @blr1004      @yoongichild    @stussyjeon  @jellybearo  @sumzysworld   @carolsummerlove

@bunniechoon

@preciouschimine

Please come scream with me... 

[bitcme]

kiernan shipka, bisexual, female + she/her ― hey look, it’s chandler kolinsky! they’re twenty-five years old, they’ve lived in shrike heights for their whole life, and they’re currently working at dick’s sporting goods. i heard they’re pretty tense, but i think they’re so accomplished at the same time. can they make it out alive? || penned by oli, twenty-four, they/them.

THE BASICS

Full Name: Chandler Cecilia Kolinsky

Nicknames: Chand, Andy, CC, Kolinsky.

Age: 25

Date of Birth: August 1, 1963

Zodiac: Leo

Hometown: Shrike Heights, Colorado

Gender: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Orientation: Bisexual

Occupation: Clerk at Dick’s Sporting Goods

Positive Traits: Accomplished, athletic, brave, confident, determined, headstrong, independent, passionate, protective, resourceful, strong.

Negative Traits: Aggressive, competitive, cynical, melodramatic, naive, paranoid, perfectionist, pessimistic, resentful, tense.

Family: Ronald and Diane Kolinsky (parents).

THE STORY

Chandler was the only child whose parents tried to live vicariously through from the day she was born. The Kolinskys are a well-known family in Shrike Heights, known especially amongst the wealthy. 

Her father a sports fanatic - and her mother happy for her husband to call all the shots - Chandler was told from birth that she would grow up to be an accomplished athlete, better than anyone else in the town “even the boys”, he would tell her. 

She’s not sure if she really liked sports to begin with, but it quickly became the biggest part of her life, and as she was brilliant (having the luxury to begin training as soon as she could walk) she enjoyed it very much. 

Her parents were always suffocating, and not at all actual supportive, loving parents, but Chandler considers herself lucky to have had their resources and all they provided for her. 

She wasn’t so popular through middle school, but she had her group of friends and her many sports teams, and she was content. She put her all into her sports, and typically her closest friends were those who did the same. 

She began dating Donnie when she was 13, and they lasted through to high school until she was 15. The two years were incredibly important to Chandler, who was finally receiving love and affection, something her life had always lacked, but the relationship ended when Donnie was unfaithful after realising he liked another. 

The heartbreak changed Chandler, and for the rest of high school she was even more into her sports - crushing goals, winning medals, but more importantly trying to beat Donnie’s records. At the same time, however, she got in with a new crowd of people, becoming quite a popular person. 

It was inevitable, her family’s status and her sporting success being the perfect formula to make her reach proper popularity, and perhaps against her better judgment Chandler was content with her crowd - even when some of her party were complete assholes.

Like most of the popular kids, Chandler peaked in high school and found herself unsure of her next steps. She likely could have gone off to college, but she intentionally sabotaged herself as deep down Chandler is so frightened of not being good enough. 

Now, she works at Dick’s Sporting Goods (for the discounts) and she had been trying her best to not be affected by the attacks, trying to wait them out, until they began hitting too close to home. She’s more frightened than she’s ever been, though in typical Chandler fashion she’s channeling the fright into aggression and determination.