#She'll be happy to listen
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come watch a tale of two cities with me at 10 pm because I have a test on it tomorrow. featuring my plague nurse, some granny squares that i'm sewing together, and my coffee.
#I'm gonna be so tired tomorrow#I can totally do this#My plague nurse is like my little reminder that I'm gonna be okay#You can talk to her if you need to#She'll be happy to listen
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This is the silliest hc anyone can hc so please don't judge too harshly lol
Liz is so so self conscious about how she looks and now that she finally finally looks how she's always wanted, she's meticulous and high maintenance with her appearance, so much so that Mason has a heart attack the first time he goes into her bathroom to take a shower whilst Nate cries tears of joy because he's finally found his soulmate
After they've known each other a while, Liz does something stupid and ends up in the medical ward (yet again) and UB are distraught, especially Rebecca. The sight she sees when she goes to check up on Liz would have her doubled over and laughing if it were not the fact that her daughter is still unconscious: Adam and Nate making sure her hair is hydrated, conditioned and styled properly, having a small argument over whether she'd want it straight or curled as Mason glares at them from where he's applying moisturizer to one hand and tells them to make sure her hair's parted correctly.
Felix is doing an immaculate job doing her nails and everyone stops arguing to appreciate the design, sure that Liz would love them. Rebecca's stunned reaction prompts a chorus of justifications - she woke up after three days last time and all she could do was cry about her hair- and - she was most distressed to find that her skin had not been provided with adequate nourishment and she proceeded to doubt our friendship, which greatly offended me hence why I have taken upon myself this task- and of course, - she spent 5 hours in the bathroom every fucking day, moaning about looking ugly and I'm not putting up with that shit again-
Deep down, they're all grateful to have something to do so that they can ignore the terror that claws at them.
#Liz wakes and the first thing she does (as predicted) is look into a mirror#she's happy that she's the sexiest patient in the ward and she tells them so#elidor begs her to never say that again#she's happy and listens to UB#telling them that she'll let them boss her around#just for this#inside she's crying because she feels loved#Felix's nail design is kept with love and care until it wears out totally#the wayhaven chronicles#liz langford#lol#felix hauville#specialist agent mason#nate sewell#adam du mortain
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Finally forcing myself to do an alternate run of DA2 with a lady warrior just so that I can spend time with Bethany for the first time and my feelings are all over the place.
Whattya mean I give her a portrait of Leandra from before she ran off with Malcolm and her reaction is to say "My whole life, Mother's been so sad and worried. All because of my cursed magic. It's nice to have a reminder of a time when she still knew how to smile."
Like... that's so loaded and heartbreaking, what am I even supposed to say to that??
#da2#dragon age 2#bethany hawke#i miss carver so much too bethany talks about him a lot and it's just a constant reminder that he's not here...#and i miss playing as ed but i've come around to my lady hawke aris#except i honestly don't know what to do with bethany because i know she'll hate being a warden but i cannot fathom leaving her behind#for her to be taken to the circle... i know she'll be all 'no it's fine i thought about joining anyway :)' it's not fine IT'S NOT FINE#but the third option is death and that's the worst one gaaahhhh I dunno#carver's so easy because he works so well as a warden... i guess that's the trade off though i got beth's friendship maxed out immediately#meanwhile with carver i have to pull up the little guide i wrote for myself to max out his friendship sksksksks i love him it's worth it#listen the hawke twins are my favorites and i would throw all of my companions into the ocean if it meant their happiness okay
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occasionally, when she's particularly exhausted, Binah will ask you to sing. it doesn't matter if you consider yourself good at it or not, she'll pull you to her side late in the evenings and quietly request to hear whatever song you wish. if she has enough energy, she'll join in. her voice is quite low and melodious, with an undertone of both power and calm ease, mixing perfectly with yours. other times she simply holds you, hands that used to kill and maim now used to cherish and cradle, her breaths coming out slower and slower until they almost still entirely. the ex-Arbiter exhales once more, and peacefully drops off to sleep by your side
#project moon#lobotomy corporation#library of ruina#binah#binah lobcorp#binah library of ruina#on nights where she doesn't want to sleep immediately she simply asks to listen to your voice#which often lead to warm thoughtful conversations into the night#you can talk about anything and she'll be happy#she used to only get satisfaction through seeing life fade#now she's at peace with something as simple as a conversation#sorry i love binah very much#it will happen again
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this rue/gale/gort fic is turning out to have a lot of gale and gortash picking fights with one another and i'm kind of here for it. i think i like it when gale is mean...
(not pictured: rue saying that gale is right, gortashs family didnt like him)
#; tealeaf's wips#we're 2.3k words in and no ones naked yet#rue is having a blast tho. girlie is living the dream listening to her two favourite people bond (argue) and then kiss her#her plan is to make them kiss each other#then she'll be happy
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i think mali's fear of having people slip away from her keeps her the way she is. she is possessive, i can't deny it. not just in romantically charged relationships but even with friendships — with the way her whole world has been turned upside down, mali tries to keep those she trusts as close as possible. it's also just so visible when writing her with those trusted people. that ice melts away, leaves her features most soft & a tiny bit more expressive. she's less apprehensive about physical affection & just hangs on certain people whenever she can. you know, having her chin atop of their shoulder while they're doing something. even if she annoys them or teases them a little, because that's her sort of love language — with her? they'll never have to fear the feeling of being alone.
#* ∙ ʚ ɞ ◞ 𝐇𝐂 ❮ of unspoken tales & ripped notes. ❯#( listen )#( tldr; mali's abandoment issues make her a bit clingy )#( but also )#( physical touch is just so important to her )#( she likes hugs a lot even if she'll groan sometimes )#( 'stop this...' while sb is hugging her yet inside she's so happy JHASJA )
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#i was so happy today...#i got up so excited because it's sherlock & co day#because i get to listen to it while i work#when i finishe actual work i get to draw some cool fanart i'm planning#it was all so fucking great#and not even 3 hours later i'm sitting here with tears in my eyes and pain in my chest...#remind me to never discuss my mental health with my mother never fucking again#i forgot about her WONDERFUL take of ''everyone is a little bit autistic''#and her AMAZING ''people shouldn't give name to the way people is'' (aka sexuality and how the brain works (aka being gay or being autistic#it's insane to think i come from this woman#now her FANTASTIC take that autism and adhd are diseases or illnesses#i just want to die#how the fuck could i ever possibly talk to this woman about my feelings or thoughts when this is what i'm up against#and yeah sure you could say ''educate her'' i can't! Everything i say#based on fact or sience or research or anything gets met with ''well that's your opinion. my opinion is the opposite''#and i never get to drill it into her brain that her OPINION doesn't fucking matter when there are FACTS!#she's the embodiment of the ''that's my oPiNiOn'' vine#and i fucking hate it here!!!#and maybe its true that people who say ''we're all a little bit autistic'' is because they actually ARE autistic. maybe that's true#but i fear she'll never believe it the same way she doesn't fucking believe ME#i hate this#i want to fucking die and never have to speak to another human ever again#fuck working happily while listening to sherlock & co am i right?#angel talks#personal
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#my republican co-worker#pulled me aside today#to tell me her daughter is pregnant#we're in Tennessee#she's white#the father is Black#i wanted to scream at her#tell her to get out of the state#go somewhere where she'll be safe#but i just listened#she's mad and excited#and happy and frustrated with her 30 yo kid#doing something so dumb#she said she's with her 'no matter what'#and i wanted to scream about her voting for people that think those words are a curse#but i just kept listening#i don't know how to feel#part of me is seething with fury that she thinks her whiteness protects them#part of me is realizing that yes#times have changed#and there are things you can't change back#no matter how hard Project 2025 tries#and maybe my co-worker and her like-minded friends#will be the ones that hold the line#or maybe they won't#maybe they'll be like the Latinos voting for the guy that wants to deport them#idk#it's just all so infuriating#and so fucking sad
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thinking i might just be a girl and then remembering i fucking lose it out of happiness whenever i look even slightly masc
#hound.txt#the bad brain worms are back oughh#im not fakiiiing. i dont want to be a girl.#side note thinking about mother..im never going to be able to ask her about hrt am i#like i want it but she'll probably get upset at me#or say its not possible because of how we live#which is fine but now im too scared to even suggest it because im not sure how she really feels about me being trans#she doesn't like my name an she wouldnt listen to me about a binder an she didnt seem *happy* about it#and she complains about how awkward its going to be for them to adjust#you dont think its awkward for me???#oops. ranted in the tags again#cw vent#ig
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okay ventpost time im bored and my period is late
#my mother is leaving AGAIN#to stay with my father#bhai mujhe nahi rehna akele i don't want to parent my brother#i don't want to cook or stress about what to eat and clothes and laundry and literally buying vegetables every few days#well all these things are just surface level but i REALLYYYYY do not want to live alone with my thoughts#i want to study i can't just study on my phone with no adult mere sarr pe khade hoke asking ki itna tv#kyu dekh rahi hai kya hua class kyu nahi attend kari#kar liya try bhai call me immature and childish and pathetic and dependent and undisciplined whatever but mere bas ki baat nahi hai#also ooooh listen to my moms great solution: she'll stay there and dad will come!! to live with us two!! alone!! haha.#it's sk fucking sad and repetitively traumatizing ki i don't even know how to react#my sister is the only kid both my parents like when she stays home things are mostly calm and happy#they dote on her they tolerate us#and they should i love her too but now i feel like crying because i don't want her to stay back just for me??? my stupid mental health??#she's doing enough by staying here till rakhi just because i asked her begged her to not leave me alone mami ke side#she could've fucked off and gone to live her life 10 days ago#it's not fair#the person i love and want to live with.. if she stays she's miserable and her being miserable mskes me miserable#i just. i miss her so much. she already feels so distant and busy and then she'll go abroad and totally forget about me right#who doesn't need all this constant depression holding you back weighing you down when you're living your best life#i hate that there's no solution i just have to grow up and be okay with it#i already got more time with her than i thought she stayed home like 2 years extra cause of covid#3 actually#ab why am i crying it was a good day#also i don't want to make it all about me but like. idk when i was picturing my adult life i was thinking like#night clubs and gay bars and beaches at night#i never factored in real factors like the horrifying fucking country we live in 💀💀#it's just it was the only thing that kept me going the promise of a better future#but now what.#and like#it's feels so stupid now the fact that i sometimes want to like
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cant sleep because im seething with anger
#been laying here for like 40 minutes fantasizing about finally snapping and telling my mom everything i really think and feel#if i ever came out to her she would end up cutting me off like she did to my aunts and uncles and cousins#basically im alone and my parents and siblings are the only family i can be in contact with right now and its isolating#off topic but yeah#i miss having a big family and people besides my parents that i could rely on. people i felt like i could actually breathe around#idk. whatever#why do i feel responsible for her actions all the time. its been my job to keep her stable and listen to her vent for years#but i never say anything about my own feelings. because she would make me feel stupid and ridicule me. lol#all she does is make me feel like shit most of the time. shes always in a bad mood and shes always whining and always pessimistic#and yeah i get along with her for the most part but lately her attitude has been weighing on me a lot. i cant criticize or disagree with her#because she'll just get mad. shes always been an angry person. thats why i hardly spoke to her from ages 10-15#maybe i jsut wanted to give her another chance. maybe i felt sympathy for her. shes had it rough her whole life#but when shes still bitter no matter how many times i comfort her and let her vent and cry to me and when she chooses her husband over me#every single time he fucks up (which is like. constantly) and always takes his side when they inevitably make up after a huge fight#it feels like i'll never be able to make her happy. it feels like i should stop trying. if she wants to be full of hatred#and have a shitty husband then fine. i cant fix her like and i cant hold the weight of her mistakes#*life
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woah i kinda like my mom now
#this is INSANE.#this time last year we were fighting so intensely i was self harming regularly..#now it's like. well. yes. she'll probably abandon me when i come out but shes sweet right now haha. niceys. im shaking in fear but also#she listens to me when i get neurotic so maybe she'll only be half mad and maybe she'll only stop talking to me for a year after im out...#-> delusional#idk we still fight about religion stuff occasionally but not often and shes dropped the whole “you dress like a dyke you're ruining my life”#like now . this is crazy. she's like “i just want you to be happy and healthy. everyone is crazy for calling you a lesbian”#NFHSKAKDJRJRJJEJS#i dont dislike her. im afraid of her if anything#z.post
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"This can't be real.. This can't.. The Admins, grandpas and grandma.. I.."
"I apologize, but including Dr. Avis's inability to completely slow your aging, a new age has descended on the Mushroom Kingdom. There's been no outside power able to fix this."
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Meet "In Regards To Enternity Goes Horribly Wrong" AU Timeline. The kickoff is that Lily isn't able to recover from what happened and fell into a coma. Assigned to a Dr. Avis, things quickly went downhill.
From the Estrellas release, to virus attacks, and much more, the Mushroom Kingdom was in ruin and anarchy. People get desperate, and some people turned to necromancy to try and get some semblance back. Unfortunately, a certain cult leader uses this as a way to get out.
Following this, and many other situations cutting off the world from the Adminspace, doing something to the USB Trio, and the crew being split up, Lily is left in the care of Dr. Avis and Young Effective Memory Recollection Unit, or YEMRU for short. Following the kingdom being split into quadrants, Dr. Avis, Lily, and YEMRU unfortunately end up in Lady Rose's.
Dr. Avis can not live forever, so she gives YEMRU instructions. She unfortunately wasn't able to slow down Lily's aging, as it became apparent that this new kingdom was the new normal, so if Lily ever does end up waking anytime soon, she at the very least will be a young teen.
YEMRU is instructed to, once Dr. Avis inevitably passes, never let Lily out of his sight. He's to be her companion, and make sure she ends up okay. Boyfriend, Girlfriend, (yes, from FNF, sue me I'm on a kick of it), and MK Hatsune Miku end up stumbling on the hideout, and she entrusts them to the same task as YEMRU. She does what she did to Lily to them, and time moves on. (I like to think Lily in both this and the main timeline is close with them, due to the whole music thing.)
Lily does end up waking up, but not before so much time has passed that she's now around 15. She's very clearly confused and disoriented, but the group explains to her the best they can. Mr L is unfortunately one of the quadrant leaders, and considering his and Lady Rose's past agreement, Lily already has a terrible feeling.
Explaining all that they know, Lily becomes a deadset on figuring out what's happened and how to fix it. Knowing she's serious, the group agrees, and they all set out to figure out what's happened, see if the Crew is alive, and hope and pray that this can all be fixed.
#oc: lily#oc: dr avis#program: YEMRU#fnf boyfriend#fnf girlfriend#hatsune miku#!posts!#dim quadrants au#i have something very cruel for Root and LC planned in this. Lets just say they can be converted/used as sources of power#this won't be a main focus but I've had this au on the backburner for a while and I needed it OUT#I plan to introduce Dr. Avis and YEMRU to the main timeline soon! just need to figure out how....#Lily is very much not ok in this au but shes glad to have these four with her#She Will Kill Lady Rose and maybe Mr L#But also maybe she'll let the Admins deal with it if she finds a way to contact them#(USB Trio is a no-go because of a certain technology...)#YEMRU is my silly little guy.. he just wants to help out and keep people happy#BF will throw hands for Lily because of how good a rap opponent she is and he does genuinely care#GF meanwhile just likes Lily and Miku will forever be mad at how Lily was treated in her youth#In Regards To Eternity takes place after Fleeting Sands in this so we have Root#listen its the weakest arc Ive done I can bullshit that one all I want
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jesus fucking christ.
#abt wilbur.#abuse#this is largely going to be my rambling immediate largely self centric thoughts so . yknow keep scrollin if you dont want that.#i have nothing meaningful to add to the conversation except watch shelbys vod.#at first i only saw wills tweet bc my brother told me about it#and i thought it was about his EX ex girlfriend or something so i brushed it off like 'oh okay damn a general misunderstanding'#then i searched tumblr saw shubble. found her vod . jesus christ.#hes always poked fun at himself being like 'yeah im shit and manipulative'#so theres always been a nagging. ick . in the back of my head. but never enough to actually. stop myself from liking his content/music.#so yeah. another lesson in 'no no red flags exist for a reaosn. listen to your instincts is a saying for a reason.'#all the love and support to shelby. her candidness & how obviously much she HAS been able to grow past THAT SHIT is genuinely inspirational#not that she needs to be inspirational etc. etc. its just good to know she'll be okay. shes in a good place. thank god.#all the stress for wilburs content friends. whether theyve been manipualteed whether theyve whatever i hope theyre . making good choices.#i say give them time. ik theres a lot of creators immediately coming out. therell be a lot who have to process this shit.#there'll be a lot whove. knowinigly / accidentally been complicit. theyre individuals treat them as such.#personally i just . have not cared about m a n y dsmp era mcyt for a W H I L E . so im happy to detach forever at thsi rate.#i havent been in the mcyt sphere for a hot fucking minute now. i hope youre all doing okay.#this shit hits weird. its okay to feel weird. if you want somewhere to vent my dms the replies on this post the tags are all free and open.#don't stew in it. you dont have to fear feeling selfish or self-centric or shifting the spotlight. you need to let that shit out.#thsis hit sucks !!!! a bunch of his/lvjy songs are comfort songs for me.#idk what the fuck to do about that. my immediate /want/ is to burn it. but thats easier said than done sometimes#if youre gonna 'separate the art from the artist' at least fucking pirate his music. youtube to mp3 that shit.#you can add local 'on your computer' files to spotify.#seperate art from the artist by seperating his monetary gain of YOUR consumption of it as much as possible. /AT LEAST/.#but also good luck separating his largely personal art from him.#im not tryna be condescending im in the same boat.#fucking white whine in a wetherspoons is no. 2 on my panic attacks playlist.#thats not his to take from me anymore. but ik if i listen to it ever again itll make my skin crawl.#ofc its not about me. its not about us the unaware fans. and im glad to know for sure now hes a REAL piece of shit.#m
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(bit of a dark meta post here but)
if i had to pick a single song to represent ruby rose as a character, it would be My R (specifically the version by annapantsu)
like... it's a song about a girl, who goes up to a rooftop with the intent of jumping off. When she's up there, she finds another girl preparing to do the same, and after hearing her out, actually manages to talk her out of it, while internally wondering why this girl could possibly think her reasons are better for this than her own. they both come down from the roof.
she goes up again another day, and the same scenario happens, and she feels the same about it again. but they both come down together.
this happens again and again, time after time, with so many people, and every single time she talks them out of it, coming down with them, then returning another day to find someone else. and every time there's a nagging feeling of, "would anyone do this for me if I got here first?"
until one day... there is no one else up there. she's up there, on her own, with nothing to stop her, and she immediately starts wrestling with her feelings, wondering if she actually wants to go through with it, and then deciding, Yes, she wants to.
now the ending of the song can be interpreted multiple ways, some less hopeful than others, but I think the one that applies best to ruby is that the girl suddenly sees herself in all of the people she's stopped before, suddenly essentially thinks "there doesn't need to be anyone to do this for me, I can do it myself, for myself" and.. turns around at the last second, leaving her plans to jump behind, and moving forward.
and on top of all of that, the song is extremely upbeat, and sounds very cheerful if you don't listen to the lyrics. Much like ruby, hiding her own fears behind a wall of optimism and hope that she shows to others, that makes her into such a beacon of light to everyone around her. To everyone but herself.
In the beginning of the series, she's a limitless source of hope and determination, fuelling herself and everyone around her onwards and upwards. Until volume 4. She desperately tried to never let on to anyone else, but the fall of beacon deeply affected her. When penny died, so did so much of ruby's trust in herself to be the hero. She still had her hope, and she still had her attitude of "let's do the best we can", but that very slowly started to be for everyone else's benefit, and that difference became more and more apparent as the show went on.
Volume 8 was the tipping point for her, and all of her hope and trust in herself was hinging on - A, protecting the relics. B, saving atlas. C, saving penny. and D, warning remnant enough to prepare them.
And then... they fell. And in the ever after, she had no way of knowing what was going on in their own world anymore, except what RWBYJ collectively knew already. And what did the group know as a whole? They had no idea whether B or D had succeeded, but they knew for a fact that A and C had failed. And so, with penny dying Again, so too did the rest of ruby's hope.
Volume 9 is her, up on the rooftop, with no one to stop her.
#suicide tw#rwby#rwby meta#ruby rose#i'll be honest. listening to the song i find it hard to interpret the ending that way. idk if that's just my brain but /shrug#it does feel very v9 c8/9/10 though#get ruby rose a therapist and a hug please#also if i'm 100% honest.#the ending of v9 did feel a little *too* optimistic for her. like i'm so glad she's okay!!#and the blacksmith undoubtedly helped her to realise she'd been holding herself to an impossible standard#and helped restore so much of her faith in herself!#im entirely happy with her returning the way she did and the way she went back to remnant ready to face the world again#but just. i really hope the show doesn't act like THAT MUCH guilt and fear and self-doubt and loathing#can just completely disappear after one therapy session. even if that session is being run by god herself#like it's not like i want her to get held down by it again. and definitely not to the same degree. that would just be like v9 never happene#she's grown from her time in the ever after and i fully believe she'll be able to make it through#but just. it has to still be there. it has to be acknowledged#crwby please don't act like ascension completely fixed ruby.#it helped her and it definitely helped enough that she won't fall back into the exact same feelings as throughout v9#but it has to be acknowledged.
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If someone told me that working in a love shop would trigger my big sister instinct in the best way possible.
One of my customers is a student who moved in town a bit more than a month ago. She's staying at a friend's. Today she came to buy some stuff to have fun with her new girlfriend. Her girlfriend is actually the friend accommodating her. She told me how it's been 2 years since she started having feelings for her and yesterday they kissed and more for the first time and I'm like- 🤌🤧💙✨
She asked me for tips to make her girlfriend (who's in a lesbian relationship for the 1st time) feel the most comfortable possible. She's so considerate and yeah clearly in love. I Need To Protec™.
#listen I love love okay#and she could be my little sister#i'm so happy and proud for her audjqljdjsl#I hope she'll come to the shop with her girlfriend one day#blabla#personal
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