#She wants to be very much 'I got this I don't need anything' but she's also like 'Go at me you can't break me but please try'

[bdbueckers]

ballin' | p.b

"bet i get you wet now, bet i make you sweat now"

pairing: paige bueckers x fem!reader

warnings: smut, fluff, them being down bad for one another, jealousy(?), fingering, thigh riding, a little dirty talk, i think that's all lmao

word count: 4k-ish (sorry i'm a sucker for pwp)

summary: you and your beautiful girlfriend finally have the time to dedicate a night out to yourselves...or something like that.

author’s note: hi! this is my first fic about paige and it's been marinating for a while but ima stop acting scary and let y'all have it. this could technically read as a part 1...i have more written but it was getting pretty long so i found that the ending on this was a good stopping point. but, let me know if y'all want the rest! i tried my best to proof read so if i missed anything i'm giving it to god. enjoy! (if you hate it don't tell me)

date night was always long awaited for you and paige. between school for the both of you and the season underway for her, there was little time to dedicate to yourselves for something like a dinner reservation. undoubtedly it was understood that making time for one another was necessary and of course it came in many other forms, but this, an entire night to yourselves to do anything your hearts desired was so hard to squeeze in. until now.

excitedly texting your friends with your final outfit choice and starting your makeup way before you even needed to so it could be perfect, you were more than ready to get out of the house. paige had stepped out a bit ago to “get gas” and you anticipated at the very least being ready before she got back. you hadn’t seen her before she left with you cooped up in front of your vanity getting ready, but you could only assume that she looked as gorgeous as always.

finalizing your makeup with a lip combo you scurried to the closet where your dress hung. a backless halter neck mini dress, simple in your eyes. of course you loved it enough to wear it out, but not as much as paige loved it on you. the first time you tried it on for her some time ago you could’ve sworn you saw her drool a bit. her eyes immediately blown out, a smirk painting her lips as she tried to get her hands on you. there was no denying that it quickly became one of her favorite things she had ever seen you in so it was perfect for tonight.

you slipped into the dress, grabbing shoes to match and spritzed some perfume on before attempting to get some pictures to post later. before you could get more than a few flicks of yourself in the mirror you heard the jingle of keys unlocking the door. giggling in the mirror like a schoolgirl, you do a once over of yourself and walk out of your room to meet paige at the door.

when you see her you feel your heart skip a beat and you honestly have to resist the urge to moan a little. she’s got on some mascara to make her eyes pop, her hair falling over her shoulders in waves. she’s dressed in a short sleeved button down and a crop top that fits her frame perfectly. her jeans sit on her hips in just the right spot to show off her toned abdomen and her newest pair of sneakers. oh, and of course all of her jewelry catches the light perfectly.

to finish the look off she holds a bouquet of roses.

you don’t know if you want to giggle, cry, or drop to your knees to give her some of the best head she's ever known in her 23 years of life.

“baby, what’s with these?” you break the silence, creeping towards her with the biggest smile on your face. she extends an arm to wrap around your waist pulling you in for a hug after handing you the flowers.

“just a lil sumn for my princess. you knew i wasn’t gonna to step to you empty handed, when have i ever?” she taunts, placing a kiss on the crown of your head as you pull back from the hug, quickly placing another right on your lips.

the kiss is sweet, just a peck at first. but when you both lean in for another you can’t help but slowly slide your flower free hand up the front of her body to then rest on the back of her neck. moaning into the kiss when you feel her tongue slide between your lips to meet your own, you feel warmth flood the pit of your stomach. her hands are low on your waist, one making its way to your ass causing you to gasp a bit as she smirks into the kiss.

you pull back first, holding eye contact with your girlfriend as she is very clearly stifling a laugh.

“thank you for the flowers paige, they’re beautiful” you whisper into the few centimeters of space between your lips and hers, your eyes glossed over as you look up at her.

“beautiful like you baby. it was only fitting.” she replies with a wink as you reluctantly pull away, still holding onto paige at the waistband of her pants.

“you’re so corny.” you mutter, still a little wrapped up in the kiss

“and you’re clearly in love with that," she retorts, "but you really do look beautiful baby, do a spin for me?" her voice a little lower this time, dropping one of her hands down to grab your own waiting for you to oblige, and of course you do.

she lets out a whistle, hissing after it. clearly you've got her right where you want her and this dress was a great choice.

"let's get out of here while we still can because part of me wants to bend you over right here and say fuck the dinner."

"paige!" you say with a giggle, finally separating yourself from her to grab your purse and phone.

she's waiting for you at the door with the goofiest smile on her face as you manage to pass her and make your way to the car without another word. she opens the door for you and waits for you to situate yourself inside before closing it and walking around to her side.

while she’s getting in the car you can’t help but stare. she always looked good, that was a no brainer. but maybe it was the thought of having her all to yourself tonight that had your mind going crazy. you’re analyzing her from head to toe several times over before you realize you’re squeezing your thighs together for some sort of relief. she stops at a red light, almost feeling your eyes on the side of her head before she turns to you.

“what are you staring at?” she asks with the raise of an eyebrow, making direct eye contact with you.

your mouth is still agape for a second before you can figure out something to say.

“you. you look good. i mean, you always do but right now i’m just thinking about how i have you all to myself tonight.” you respond, looking away from her as the light turns green.

“wowww..you have such a way with words baby, thank you” she chuckles, placing a hand gingerly on your knee to squeeze. your eyes are on her hand as it creeps up your leg until it’s on your thigh, heavy and now partially under your dress. she never takes her eyes off the road but you know she can feel the heat radiating off of you.

you don’t even realize you're at the restaurant until the car stops and is put into park. her hand is gone before you can process anything at all and she is out of the driver's seat and on the way to retrieve you from your spot in the passenger seat. she sweetly grabs your hand, basically dragging you from your dirty thoughts.

dinner is officially the farthest thing from your mind right now.

the restaurant is perfect. it’s dimly lit and not too crowded, a hostess greets you at the front.

as paige gives a name for your reservation you catch her eyes drifting over your girlfriend’s frame more than once. of course to your understanding paige is paying her no mind but her staring is becoming a problem and you have yet to even watch her pull up said reservation.

you clear your throat once and you assume she takes a hint. her cheeks flush before she mutters a quick,

”right this way.”

as you follow behind her and are led to a table you feel paige’s lips next to your ear, “if you can behave so we can enjoy ourselves here, then we can enjoy each other even more when we get home.”

scoffing, you place your hand over hers that’s resting on your hip, “yeah well as long as she gets it together i’ll have no problem behaving.” you turn your head and respond hastily without losing stride.

you’re sat at a table and quickly order a glass of wine before you can gauge the entire menu, almost opting for the entire bottle.

the situation with the hostess is nearly forgotten, as you and paige start a bit of small talk about how school and work are for you and how the season is going for her. how you’ve been managing a balance of things and how she’s been getting along with new teammates and such. then you catch another glance of the woman from earlier out of the corner of your eye and your thoughts are scattered. you hadn’t intended to snap, whether it had been at her or at paige. your girlfriend was always being watched, sought after, talked to. she’s paige bueckers, of course people would stare. at the end of the day you were the only person that mattered to her and she had made that abundantly clear since the first day you'd met.

it’s not a big deal. paige seems fine, just leave it be.

“what’s goin’ on in that pretty little head of yours?” your thoughts are once again interrupted.

you hadn’t even realized you’d be thinking about this shit for that long. paige had finished her story about what happened at practice and just watched your mind wander off for god knows how long.

“sorry baby, i didn’t mean to zone out," you pause before continuing, figuring that there was no point in trying to lie.

"i just wanted to make sure you knew that earlier i wasn’t upset or anything. i did get a little snappy but i'm sorry, it’s not a big deal.” you ramble, looking off to the side at the end of your sentence to avoid her eyes.

“baby, it’s okay if it did bother you. but you know i’m not worried about anybody except you, right?” she starts, reaching across the table to grab your hand.

“of course. i’m okay babe don’t worry, i’m sorry for even bringing it up, tonight is about us and us only.” you respond, interlocking your fingers with hers and bringing her hand to your lips.

“you know you can bring up anything to me at any given time. that’s what relationships are about,” your gaze softens even more as you nod.

her voice drops a bit lower ensuring that only the two of you can hear, “and to dead any of your concerns i wasn’t even aware that i was being looked at until you said something, i was too focused on how good your looks ass in that dress and thinking about what i’m gonna do to you when i finally get you out of it.” she finishes.

you close your mouth, forgetting whatever snarky reply you'd been thinking of as heat creeps up your neck. both of your eyebrows raise in minimal shock. her expression immediately mimics yours before she can continue.

“you thought you could walk out of the house in that and i wouldn’t immediately be itching to take it off of you?” paige says, gaze drifting down towards your cleavage before finding your eyes again.

“no. that was the plan.” you say, raising your second glass of wine to your lips your tone a bit sultry.

“perfect.” she responds, before your moment is interrupted with your food finally arriving

the previous conversation is long gone as you dive nose first into your plate of pasta and also another story from paige about the team and their silly competitive games after practice. the rest of dinner went exactly how you’d hoped. no interruptions. just you and your beautiful baby over a nice meal and a little conversation.

two more glasses of wine down and you’re just as tipsy as could be. you’re focused on what paige is saying until you're not. your eyes momentarily find her lips the way they move while she’s speaking, how she occasionally licks them between a sentence or two before continuing, the heat between your legs quick to return.

you’re waiting for the bill when you get an idea. uncrossing your legs and extending your right one until the toe of your pump is met with her calf, you watch her facial expression falter. you sensually drag your foot up and down until she stops talking.

“didn’t i say behave?”

“baby, i don’t know what you’re talking about?” you taunt nonchalantly.

she notices what you’re trying to do and decides to play your game.

after placing her card down with the bill she's reaching towards your ankle that is now near her knee. her touch gentle, causing goosebumps to arise on the freshly shaved skin of your legs. nodding to the waiter that grabs the check, her attention is back on you. holding piercing eye contact with you she lightly draws foreign shapes on the parts of your outstrechted leg that she can reach.

"alright, that's enough." you say lowly with a playful roll of your eyes, attempting to pull your leg back down to the ground. she quickly strengthens her hold on you, raising her brow again.

"is it?"

before either of you can say anything else the waiter comes back with the check and a receipt, you use the shift of paige's attention to return your foot to the ground.

she scribbles down a signature and tip before quickly making her way to her feet, waiting for you to stand. taking your hand in her own she leads you out of the restaurant and to the car.

before she opens the door for you she mounts you to it with a hand on your hip, towering over you. you reach out to bring her head down to your own until you’re eye level.

“i want you so bad,” you almost moan, taking her free hand in your own and sighing desperately when she leans back standing at her full height.

“i can tell baby, you can’t keep your hands to yourself.” she responds, placing one of her legs between both of yours, smirking when your head falls back against the car door.

paige chuckles a bit before pulling your body towards hers so she can open the door and get you into the car.

the car ride back is comfortable. full of tension, but comfortable nonetheless. paige’s hand back on your thigh, you’re still tipsy as hell, taking photos and videos of yourself to distract from the throbbing between your legs.

when you get home you can’t even wait for paige to open the door for you before you’re out of the car and on the way your front door.

“hey, you know i don’t like when you do that.” she calls out from behind you with a frown as you’re trying to force your keys in the lock, fumbling a bit when you feel her body heat behind you. she cages you in, quick to press her front into your back placing hot kisses onto your neck as her hands are feeling you up.

you finally unlock the door and let yourselves in, careful not to disconnect yourself from paige. she shuts and locks the door behind you both.

“okay let’s make a deal, i’ll never open the car door for myself again if we have sex right now.” you say, throwing your purse and keys to the side as you turn in her arms to face her.

“deal,” she groans as her hands make their way underneath your dress, just to discover that the entire night you’ve been prancing around with no panties on.

“surpriseeee.” you drag out in a whisper leaving sloppy kisses all over her skin that’s gradually exposed as her shirt starts to fall off her shoulders.

she places one hand on your neck forcing your lips onto hers. it’s messy but clearly neither of your care. soon you’re backed against a wall. her other hand slides up your leg and under your dress, two fingers firmly pressed to your clit causing your jaw to fall open in a silent moan.

“should i fuck you right here? you just couldn’t wait to have me, maybe i bend you over now? hmm?” she mutters against your lips, applying more pressure to your cunt slowly tracing figure eights there until she feels more of your arousal leave you and leak into the palm of her hand.

“whatever you want—fuck, just do something..please” you pant, groaning as you feel two of her slender fingers enter you like clockwork. you’ve been wet since you laid eyes on her three hours ago and now several wine glasses deep you can’t help but feel like you’re already about to cum.

the moan you let out sounds borderline pornographic.

“miss impatient...you look so pretty like this baby. i’ve barely done anything and you’re gushing into my hand.”

“mmh–only get like this for you”

“i know. but you’re gonna ruin your pretty dress. the dress you wore all for me huh? just couldn't wait to have all of my attention?” she rasps into your ear, almost in a mocking tone while her fingers pump into you skillfully.

“yes baby, all for you– FUCK!” you try to keep up but she quickly curls her fingers inside of you, hitting that spongy spot almost immediately.

“we’re just getting started, you gonna cum already?”

paige teases, watching your eyes roll back and your mouth open in a silent moan while she speeds up the thrusts of her fingers if humanly possible.

“mmm—i’ve w-wanted you since you walked in here holding fucking flowers.”

“i know mama”

“please baby, don't stop i’m so close” you let out in a string of whines, hand grabbing onto her shoulder for support as you hook your leg around her hip.

“let go, make a mess on me baby you know that’s what i want.” she whispers, messily mouthing your nipples through your dress, licking a line up the valley of your chest to the underside of your jaw, leaving a wet kiss there.

“FUCK PAIGE–“ you manage to let out before you feel that familiar warmth in the pit of your stomach and your eyes starting to roll back into your head.

“i know baby, i know” she shushes you.

your first orgasm of the night crashes over embarrassingly quick. you’re rambling words that don’t even make any sense, them falling deaf to your ears. paige is with you the entire time you ride out your high, leaving hot kisses over any inch of exposed skin her lips can find and whispering praise into your ear.

there’s a heartbeat worth of silence and then you pry your eyes open and almost cum again when you catch sight of your girlfriend. her lips puffy from all the kissing, a slight sheen of sweat across her face and chest, and her eyes hazy.

your eyes drift down to the few fingers that were just inside you and in record speed you reach down to bring them up to your own lips, tasting yourself.

paige lets out a groan, her head lulling to the side as she watches you intently as you carefully suck your release from each of her fingers.

before you can think of anything to say she’s got both her hands under you as she lifts you up. you let out a yelp and a slight giggle, still spent from how hard you came.

paige carries you up the stairs and to your bedroom before placing you on the bed. as she stands over you and begins taking off your heels for you there’s a glint in her eyes.

“you’re really beautiful, you know that?” you mutter softly, never breaking eye contact as she throws your shoes aside and leans down, both her hands on the sides of your head, chain catching your eye as it dangles directly in front of your face.

“have you seen yourself? i had to try real hard not to lay you down in the backseat before we came home.“

taking her by surprise you wrap your legs around her and flip the two of you until you’re sat atop her lap, one of her thighs between yours. she’s got a look of shock on her face but one of her hands immediately lands on your thigh, the other resting on your hip.

“you’re wearing too many clothes paige..” you whisper, starting to peel her shirt off her arms completely. you sigh when the only thing separating her upper half from your view is a teenie black crop top.

you lean down for a kiss, using two fingers to pinch one of her nipples. you take charge, your head turned slightly to the side as your tongue slides between her lips. she moans into your mouth as her hand comes down hard on your ass grabbing a handful of the same spot that she smacked. it's your turn to moan.

you don’t even realize the way that you’ve begun grinding down against the rough denim of her jeans. she immediately noticed, helping you guide your hips over her flexed thigh as you whimper pathetically. your head thrown back.

"look at you baby. just using me to get yourself off, so fucked out you can barely hold your head up," paige utters.

ironically enough this makes you bring your head up and lock eyes with her again, a slight smirk on your lips. using every little bit of composure you have left you slow the motions of your hips.

“paige, earlier when i said it didn’t matter that you were being eye fucked by that hostess i lied. honestly…i was a little pissed at first. but then i thought about how i’d have you under me just like this at the end of the night.”

you change the angle of your other leg so your knee is placed right against her clit, then you start rocking back and forth with a little more intent, determined to get her off like this.

“fuck,” paige hisses, her head thrown back into the pillows. sucking on one of her fingers she pulls the top of your dress to the side to play with your tits.

you whine and bite your lip, holding eye contact with her as she’s fondling you.

“now i just wanna fuck you until i pass out. because nobody else will ever get the chance.”

“fuck" she groans, "baby nothing is stopping you."

this flips a switch in your head. placing your hand over hers that was on your tit you lean down to kiss her, never stopping your knees assault on her bundle of nerves. at this point you’re both a little spent, paige whimpering against your lips as she gets closer to her release.

“you gonna cum for me paige? you wanna give me that? i waited for this all night” you pant into her mouth, your own clit too sensitive by now from your previous orgasm.

“yes—f-fuck, i’m so close baby. you’re riding me so good i could cum just looking at you”

knowing that even when she was on the edge of her own orgasm she would never rob you of some praise pushes you closer to your own release.

freezing for a second you bring two fingers up to your lips and wet them as she watches. finally unzipping her pants and slipping your hand into her underwear you press onto her clit firmly, making tight circles shortly after.

"you're so wet baby...i guess you really do love this dress?" you tease, her head immediately thrown back into the pillows underneath her.

“shit—babe, i’m gonna cum” paige rasps out, not expecting to feel your fingers.

“give it to me. please?” you whisper in her ear.

she loses it. her chest heaving, legs moving underneath you. her hands tight in their gasps on your hips as she grinds up into your fingers, chasing the rest of her high. you leave hot kisses on her neck, sucking on her ear just a little until you feel her breathing become even underneath you.

you pull back to check on her and see she’s already looking at you.

“we're not even close to done. strip.”

[ask-underfazverse]

"She's a very quiet god... she disappears as soon as she comes, and has only spoken a few times... when we first met, when she killed a friend of ours she corrupted, and in my mind when she... saved me from my father."

He thinks for a moment. "The first thing she said, was when I demanded her to release my friend. 'I can't. There are things at work that you don't understand.'

I demanded for her to let me understand, I foolishly gave her some benefit of doubt... while also threatening her. 'I have an issue. It's no others concern, but all you need to know is that it's either suffering past death, no rest, always torment, or suffering for only a fraction of her life, then rest. Now... Lucifer... Lucifer the Morningstar.... if you were forced to pick one of the two fates for your own children... what one would you pick...?'

I answered a bit too honestly to her. But I still stand by my beliefs. I told her I would do everything in my power first, and push myself beyond my own power to do ANYTHING possible to help. Only then, after exhausting every effort, would I end my child's life... if there is NOTHING I can do to truly make life bearable, to make them want to stay despite pain, only then will I see death as mercy.

Life needs balance, and to favor one bit over the other is foolish. Death is needed to appreciate life, pain is needed to appreciate comfort, sorrow to know joy, fear to know safety... I would not cut anyone's life short just because they are in pain, unless the pain is unbearable, that I can't help.

My accusations of her being lazy only angered her. '...very bold of you to assume I haven't tried.... bold to think I haven't been trying for hundreds of years watching her drink her days away, while I try to give her any comfort I can give, while my own fucking sister is torturing my own children while all I can do is watch. How dare you call me lazy for trying to let my child who has been suffering for hundreds of years rest.'

...even desperate that, I still don't think she truly cared. Hundreds of years is nothing, especially now... I've only just realized what a BLINK a hundred years is. And after everything? I wouldn't be surprised if she was just trying to manipulate me then... to get me to lower my guard, and let her kill everyone for the sake of "comfort."

After I called out her laziness, she continued to argue that she was in the right. 'If I waited longer, my sister would've gotten to her first, and by your strong morals, I don't think you would take her becoming a hateful creature who wants to kill all demons well, would you?'

I argued that I had many I loved try to kill me... she acted like she knew me, and in my arrogance, I told her she didn't. I still demanded to save the seer, who was my friend. That just pissed her off more. 'She can't be fucking safe anywhere, no matter what I do, so stop talking to me like I can do something I can't no matter how hard I try.'

I finally got pissed enough to finally attack her, and mind you, this was before I could properly feed myself, so I was rather powerless... scared her, though, so I consider it a win.

But it wasn't a win for long... I tried to get my seer friend, and run... she was already corrupted, and demanded the mother wished to help... I remember running for hours with her in my arms, trying to save her. I ran till my legs ached so much, I wished they were broken instead...

Thankfully, after I passed out, I woke up back in the meeting room, with her safe in a cage. But she was different... she kept arguing the mother was helping, she brought up things about my life that I never spoke of, and argued death was only the hard part of her grand plan... I could no longer believe the words of my friend...

Around 500 years later, I made another friend. A feral mortal named Robin. She taught me her language, and I taught her people how to survive better. But at some point, I don't know when, the End replaced her...

I should have noticed when she called me a lamb the first time... the feral Nowhere in Mortals use bird terminology. I had to teach them what sheep even were...

But even before she used that, something felt... wrong somehow. With Robin, I mean. I didn't notice because I was exhausted. She comforted me, yes, but looking back with clearer eyes, there was a small shift in her behavior. She treated me more like her own son, and I didn't notice how sudden it was... She could have taken her before or after she attacked my father, but I can't tell for the life of me.

I had a rough day, my brother, Leviathan, and I got into a huge fight... I had been too harsh on the people under our care, and he thought I was too soft... one of the mortals, we call him Possession Doug, had some info he was withholding, to get me to rest... then it never about how harshly we were treating the others. Leviathan said something he didn't really mean, and ran off. So I went to Robin for comfort....

I fell asleep, and when I had awoken, she and all the other nowhere mortals were possessed by the mother, attacking my father... I had to step in to stop the chaos, but by then, it was too late. Thousands were dead, and my father knew I was elsewhere... he thought the mother was my protector, and it angered him...

The mother did not speak during her attack, she just remained completely silent, and honestly, it was more terrifying than anything she's ever said... my father stabbed me when I tried to protect my angelic kin, and threw me away during the battle. I broke my neck, and woke up elsewhere. Woke up being tended to by teenagers and a fallen angel.

When I returned to the meeting room, everything was a mess. The AUs hated us, my brother Satan became a tyrant out of fear of everyone leaving and everything falling apart, and some still couldn't understand the gravity of the situation... I had to take some of my people and my whole family as sacrifice to my father, to ensure he wouldn't find the AUs...

Then for weeks, father threw some sort of tantrum, causing thunder so loud, you could hear it from other worlds. The Mother was probably messing with him some more, causing him to lash out like I did...

My friend vulture returned with Robin, who by then was DEFINITELY the mother in disguise. Father had turned the nowhere mortals into angels, and probably intended to use them as a weapon against us, if the Mother didn't stop him.

Vulture kidnapped me, and took me to where the Mother returned the Nowhere mortals to their home. They were all unconscious...

I eventually had to leave nowhere behind again, and she appeared when I was returning to the meeting room. Not in a perceiveable way, but she WAS there. Stalking me in the snow. I couldn't see her any way, shape, or form... but I did hear her. She started humming after she stopped growling, and grabbed me... my kin tried to save me, but she was too strong at the time. She was... terrifyingly gentle, not hurting me, but not letting me escape either.

I finally saw her face, or at least her eyes... looking at me. I looked at her with pure terror, as she spoke again. This time, as though I had not transgressed her once. 'Lucifer... Oh little fallen birds... Your siblings were not invited to this little conversation.. but I do not mind... I'm making it quick either way. I do not care where your people reside. I do not care who of my children you get along with. I do not care if you curse my name or bless it. But. I am not fond of the curious. And I am not fond of tyrants. I am also not fond of ones who meddle with fate. So I will make it clear. All children are eventually lulled back into their beds... even the fussy ones, little lamb.. it only takes patience.'

I had found some courage to call her out once more, that she was a vile being, making the word Mother into a mockery. She didn't argue against it that time. 'Yes. I know I'm vile, and cruel and not that great, or the best creature to exist. But... I do not lie. Oh. Little lamb... I've never lied to myself.. or my children... you believe me self obsessive, and blind, but I am aware of my flaws. I'm aware of my weaknesses, and I will not ignore them. But oh, Lucifer... how many lies have you told yourself within the few months alone? How many people have you caused to run to my feet? I just waited. I did nothing but watch. I did not persuade them. I let YOU do the talking, dear lamb.'

I knew she was trying to get into my head, but it would take more than that... I bit her, and tried to infect her with parasites I regained from when I returned to my homeland. But she was unbothered by my refusal to let her get to me. All she said was 'good.' And let me go. She then left, without a trace...

In her lies, she spoke truth, though. I did do most of her work then, and I'm probably doing some of it still. Better ways are forged in blood, unfortunately... every rule, law, and oath, someone died for it to form. That has been how it always has been. There are very few laws, rules, or oaths people have not died from before they were made.

The AUs admitted to communing with her cults, for "fun" to escape the tyranny we had then. I don't blame them now, but then? It was a terrifying revelation. Nearly had a panic attack when I found out, but thankfully only one of them got completely converted, and that was Dream Malak...

Your king did try to betray me a few minutes after that revelation. But it wasn't completely Mother related fuckery. He took some pages from a diary that a friend had left, that had information on the End. He took the pages because he thought he was protecting everyone that way, keeping us from messing with Gods. He nearly got kidnapped by the cult when he was having doubts on keeping the papers from me. We rescued him, obviously, but the cult tried to use a neurotoxin to indoctrinate him: a gas that fills you with fear. He was thankfully fine, after a good 30 minutes or so...

But that's unrelated to the last times she spoke. I'm getting off track, sorry-

Anyways... the next thing I can remember of her, wasn't sometimes she said. It was a story in Prophesy Bierce's diary. Wasn't the full story, but it was of her creating hell. The Mother raising them, to withstand the worst of environments. Starving her children, killing new demons that did not belong to her, as her children wept... it described her as sickeningly motherly, kissing her own children with bloodied lips as she put them to sleep. Her only lines being about her plans, and how she has to do what she does. The story mentioned immortal sons who ate themselves in sorrow, with only one remaining... if there is any basis in truth with that story, that means we could either have an ally against the End, or another foe in the form of Death's direct son.

The mother appeared in the dream of a traitor, that some of my people's sloth demons infiltrated for information. In the form of a snake, then a moth, then some wind... while also pretending to be a mortal in said dream. She pretended to be an anxious man, who just so happened to know he was in a dream... when confronted, she claimed to be "Everyone, yet no one."

The sloth demons tried to get her to leave, but it obviously didn't work. She simply warped the dream and said, "I will never leave. Not again." The sloth demons then left the mind of the traitor and woke him up. We disconnected him from the hive, and trapped him in a bubble. A method that wouldn't work, as I would come to learn the hard way... just made those we imprisoned more unstable, and unable to understand our goals. We still don't have a better way of imprisoning them yet, but we'll get there.

My friend Vulture once recalled her playing with children, and a time she had coaxed him out of a tree, during time while I was away, saving other worlds... which is honesty out of character, compared to everything else. We've speculated she acts how she wants to get the opinions she wants, for her own little entertainment. He assumed she was related to me, and apparently said to him, "Yes, he does. We aren't blood related but strings are there." When he asked if she had any connections to me or my family.

The next time she spoke to me, she was in the form of Robin. This was as far back as I can remember officially when Robin was replaced. She had taken her form, and started to comfort me through her... for your sake, I'll just translate what she said, since nowhere language sounds like a garbage disposal with rabies- "Lucifer! Oh my! I've been worried sick about you! Are you alright? I've been worried ever since I woke up with you!"

She must've noticed how close I was to Robin... the nowhere mortals are her closest creations to her, but Robin was another woman in the long list of women I have ever dared to consider "mom." I should have known loving her like that would have doomed that poor lady...

She continued comforting me, as I held the multiverse on my shoulders, balancing people's feelings and their safety, trying not to be hated... "...Lucifer... I can tell you're stressed out, little lamb... it's okay to say you're not fine, while helping people... I'll try to help in anyway that I can to make it easier."

I tried to convince who I thought was Robin that we didn't need her to help, she reminded me that Nowhere mortals can't die by normal means, and can only die from each other, I still argued that death is still not zero... she felt so real that conversation, so NORMAL... I am ashamed that I was tricked so easily. She convinced me to get Nowhere to help, to distract the poor souls suffering there after being used by my father... Vulture especially... most of the conversation was just her impersonating Robin, telling me things she would have said as a mother... or things we both assumed she would have said, I'm not sure Robin would have completely given me the same advice The End did... told me that it wasn't my fault I was upsetting people, that I was overworking myself and overwhelmed, that I needed a breather... just relaying common sense in a motherly tone, to make me lower my guard no doubt.

Everyone was susceptible to her disguise... mainly because of me, I acted like she was Mt mother and my siblings followed suit. Makes my skin crawl, knowing how we all desperately seeked affection from our greatest enemy...

We didn't even notice when she read our thoughts, despite not being part of the hivemind... everyone just thought Andras was being paranoid around mortals, as usual... we didn't even think or care, drunk on maternal love... Andras was one of the few that wasn't completely swayed by her dark and cruel deception....

We only noticed maybe hours later, when we found Leviathan, and he pointed it out. She called me lamb as I was going on a mission, promising to cook me something for when we returned. She finally revealed herself, as Vulture unknowingly protected her, thinking we were turning against Robin for no reason... ".....Well... that lasted longer than intended..." She said, before she grabbed Vulture and started messing with him like he was some doll...

Once she lost interest in him, she took interest in our prisoner, Dream Malak, dragging him out of his bubble prison even when he begged to be left alone. Her voice was full of that awful, awful pity... "Oh... poor thing... you've been rejected from your flock.. because of a dream... haven't you...? ...They left you here to rot... in a bubble without care or concern.. just like your friend.. it's pitiful my child.. saddening.. to be condemned to lay on the floor every day with everyone glaring at you, or looking at you like some feral beast about to snap.."

Dream Malak had made a deal with her, to let him sleep and live in his fantasy kingdom, and ignore the pain of the waking world... he probably didn't realize how that deal was going to backfire on him. He claimed there was nothing she could give him, but she still had more falsehoods to offer, when he said all he wanted was to sleep. "And I can give you just that... you can sleep.. live in your castle, without anyone to bother you... all you need to do.... Is leave this place.. it'll be okay, my child. You don't have to suffer if you don't want to. I wait. I do not force, little demon."

...I hate the illusion of choice... he was going to suffer either way, but suffering with her meant a moment of bliss before it was over. He died, leaving that portal... not in flesh, but in person. I think I had died several times in that room, born again as many people who I cannot stand in my reflection... but I could see it in his eyes... all hope, love, and care he had for us... for ME... it died, and I have his blood on my hands twice.

I tried to attack her, to protect Vulture and Dream Malak as she was leaving, but my powers had no affect... she glided towards us, and froze all the water in the room. "....Oh..? Really...? How interesting..."

She wasn't really in the room with us when I attacked. I tried to boil her blood, but the form she took had none. She was in specter... she laid out a trap for me, and I took the bait willingly. Just so I wouldn't have to lose more people... I took some AUs with us, who betrayed us shortly after... no shame to them, their treachery was forgiven quickly due to the rebel group's leader's actions. They spoke my father's name, knowing it was our weakness, trying to get rid of us. His reasoning was understandable, for betraying me... either we were too forceful and cruel, or to sacrificial and empathetic. His AU was more cutthroat, and he probably assumed the ruthlessness was my "true colors" rather than my desperation... he thought throwing me under the bus would stop the mother for a bit, since things had gotten to apocalyptic levels of worse when my family showed up.

That's when we finally got ambushed by the cult and my brother, Belphegor. The traitors that were going to leave us to die, were all then stuck in a dream with us due to my traitor brother's magic. That is when Oleander revealed himself to save us, having used an ally, Game Doug, as a host to offer help to us.

We were trapped in a nightmare of our worst terrors... our regrets, fears, vulnerabilities... while the cultists got a small patch of greenery, with sunshine and rainbows in the distance. The traitors helped save me and my brothers from our nightmares, and it finally clicked that we were... genuinely trying to help. That we were scared, and trying everything we could do to help... and that sometimes it wasn't enough, and felt like the end of the world for us. They didn't get why we would freeze up, or shut down after a few measly deaths. They didn't understand why we were so guilty... even after telling them our life story, they probably thought we were lying. Then they saw our worst nightmares, and had more courage than us... carried us out of the worst of it, and saved our lives."

Lucifer pauses his monolog. "...I really do owe CK Malak my whole life, and perhaps the multiverse does as well... I wouldn't be here without him. The pain he caused me was just another affliction... he was the first person to truly reach my inner child and tell me it wasn't my fault. If he didn't step in like that, the multiverse, the AUs, and my people... they would have been doomed."

He shakes his head. "Anyways- back to every moment I can remember the Mother speaking-

In the dream, we learned how corruption actually works. When one is corrupted by the mother, personality traits, opinions, and memories are amplified as needed, and the actual person is locked away in a dreamscape. Leaving only the insane personality in the front. So the corrupted are still there in their minds, being reduced to childish monsters...

We learned that from Prophesy Bierce in the dream. It was good speaking to a sane version of her again... she gave us a small omen before we left. ★"The dark is scary, but there is so much worse. So much worse than you think."★ I assumed, later on, that it was about Endity the sun God, but she was underwhelming in the end... so the worst still probably has yet to come.

Dream Malak was there too, but... it was too late. He wouldn't listen to reason, he wouldn't try to understand... he was doomed from the start and it was my fault. No matter... past is past, and time to grieve him is over for now. When this all blows over, I will find time to make a gravestone, at least... the mother left no body after what became of him.

When we awoke, we officially met oleander, who apparently had kept the mother from killing us for as long as he could from the shadows. He gave us a necklace to eventually subdue her, to calm her down... I gave it to Agares, who knows how long ago. We were later told that it wasn't to calm her, but to put her under a spell that makes the Mother like a puppet. Or more specifically, Beelzebub was told, more on that later.

The next time she appeared to us, we were once again ambushed by her cult. Or rather a rouge cultist... Dream Malak. He trapped us in dreams, and she appeared in mine as a mainecoon. I didn't recognize her, because of the dream he gave me... it was of my home, before I was banished. He made me think that I "woke up" from a nightmare, that I couldn't remember... he unfortunately got some details wrong, probably assumed I lied about my terrible father, because in the dream he loved me.

The mother kept following me in the dream, acting like a normal cat, till I realized I was in a dream... then she smiled, in a twisted way that makes your skin crawl when you realize something isn't real when you're asleep. Dream Malak underestimated us, though... every time he put us asleep after that, I would simply end myself to escape the dream, over and over, and my kin and followers followed suit.

He then tried tormenting us with nightmare versions of my father and angelic kin, but that only worked for a moment. The AUs jumped in to protect us, which... no one ever did that with our real father before, so it snapped us out of our terror long enough to get back into the fight. We were able to tire him out together, long enough for Oleander to step in, and land some final blows....

...but we were not the ones to put him out of his misery. The mother finally acknowledged his betrayal, and he mocked her, told her that he didn't need to wait for a victory over us, like she did. After a moment of silence, she spoke calmly, sweetly even... "Oh darling.. why would I do that..? You've done everything I wanted you to do without a word... you attacked the one that loves you even more than myself... so tell me little dream.... why would I punish you when your own actions will do it for me..?"

...I think he finally realized too late that I spoke truth... all he did was stare at me, helpless, as Endity made herself known, killing him for her sister... looking back, I wish I jumped in, or tried to save him. I don't dwell on it as much as I did, but I still do wish I could have saved him... that he could understand we were still friends... Oleander tried to attack the sun Goddess to protect us, but the mother appeared in flesh, and greeted her sister even as her flesh boiled in the light...

Everyone tried to protect each other, but the devastation of failing to save Dream broke me down... The mother knew I would fall for her and her sister's trap. I attacked like an animal, driven by my grief. There, I was kidnapped, and separated from my family...

While I was away, Delila made herself known in the form of a demon woman named "Menodora." We didn't know she was the other half of the mother at that point, but from what the others have told me, she's a kind but timid individual... interacting with her proves that to be true so far, but we still are worried that she May be deceiving us again... we're playing along, in case she's not.

While I was imprisoned, however, the Sun claimed accountability for slaughtering children, while I was imprisoned. She was a foolish being, who didn't know when to be silent, unlike her sister... she thought she was safe, using chains that nullified my magic to hold me. She did not realize my love for the innocent outweighed my respect for my body... nearly ripped off my arms, to try and kill her.

I scared her so terribly, she ran to my father, to wrangle me. The rest of the story, I only know from my siblings, up until I was rescued... my family and the AUs started gaining as much power as they could, before the mother attacked. That time, she again attacked in silence... she devoured thousands of nowhere mortals, using a precaution we had against us, to make them unable to fight back... she then controlled a large mass of AUs, forcing them to gut themselves as she gutted herself with a smile... and as she came, she left just the same... in silence.

The next instance of her, was again while I was out cold... apparently she was acting out of character, at least to her sister. Beelzebub was actually able to get information from Endity, that had contradicted oleander's narrative of the Mother being a cold killing machine. Said that the three of them were mistakes, and that End was the least favorite when oleander told us she was... she claimed her sister to be sweet, and Delila definitely fits the sweetness that the mother apparently used to have... Endity was also the one to tell us the use of the necklace that Oleander gave us... so perhaps we can use it against him, behind his back if he is truly trying something. Control the Mother first, before he gets a chance to, though I personally don't like the sound of that plan...

The next interaction I remember, was her saving me from my father for some reason. She entered the dream he trapped me in, to drain me of my soul and personality... and she startled me awake so I could fight my father, instead of being puppeted to kill my siblings. She spoke to me gently, as though she were waking me to get up for school. "Get up, Little Lamb. Now is no time to sleep. You know the selfishness that lays in bliss. The pain. You lay here while your family perishes by your blade. They will die, and they know it... so get up, and fight... because if you can't deal with him, you will never make it to the full moon at which I wait. They will die. And it will be your fault. Your wings are gone. You know it, and everyone who loves you knows. So for their sake... give up your false wings of wax."

After I broke free, thanks to her "encouragement" I slayed my father. Then her sister thrusted herself upon my blade, and the End ate her... I personally could not spare Endity pity, the knowledge of who sheded the children's blood still on my mind... she left with only three words to me. "....Good morning, Icarus." And then she vanished...

The last interaction with the mother before Delila revealed herself to be a piece of her was, again, in a dream... at first, the End chased me, and Delila, and the small half of the mother guided me to safety... I learned her name, and how the old gods looked in a cave. Then we left the cave, and the End was suddenly afraid of me... Delila warned me that I was the only one that could stop the End, and I killed her easily in the vision. But when I turned, Delila was dead, and I woke up. During the moments she wasn't leading me to safety, or writing down what she was doing, she was acting like a small child... just playing in flowers.

After the vision, we figured out Menodora was the mother, or at least part of her, and the rest is history."

He sighs. "...I'll just let you process all of that-"

The multiverse is full of infinite possibilities...

Most worlds tend to connect through similar builds. Through stories, people, themes...

It's no surprise seeing a stranger to the multiverse. What IS surprising, however, was his condition. Covered in deep wounds, limbs twisted and torn, and he appeared to be drowning in his own blood by the time he was found. Holy weapons were embedded in his skin, and the flesh sizzled liked bacon around it.

He had red skin, gray hooves, horns that looked far too round and circular to have normally grown out of his head. His long pointed tail is covered in hand prints, and there are bones exposed out of his back. He lays face first in a pool of his own boiling blood, barely breathing or moving.

@ask-underfazverse

Cry’s come from the mass amounts of strangers, many just back away to cowedly to do anything, but a few step up, and begin to heal him. Mainly the younger, less evil Malak’s, a few Doug’s that are just simply concerned, and only one Bierce.

Dream Malak very hurriedly takes him to his hospital, with the help of the others.

[ivhmavie]

you’re too sweet for me

hwang in ho

first of all, just a little advice that english its not my first language! be kind

༶ he knew that you were too good for him, that hi’s world was way to cruel and defiant to a girl like you. The games, the carnage, the involvement of VIPs, the arrogance, the money.

༶ but oh, everytime that he sees you, he forgets that. The monotonous days that he spent locked in his small apartment, without spending a cent of his prize, began to have a purpose when he knew you.

༶ your laugh, that he heard before seeing you, your hands looking for something to hold on to so you don't fall, your shy look when you apologize for tripping over him and your gentle tone of voice. The joy that only the joviality and naivety of someone who did not see bad things in your eyes.

༶ you were an interesting little thing to him. Something that took him out of his automatic state on days when he waited until the next game.

༶ it had been a long time since he allowed himself to think of a woman as anything other than a one night fuck.

༶ his routine was messy. Normally he would spend part of the morning with a glass of whiskey while talking to the VIPs about the next edition of the games or evaluating the people recruited for the game.

༶ and the more you two talked, the more he realized that you were too sweet. Trying to balance your study routine and still take care of yourself.

༶ the first time you went out, he couldn't say for sure what had made you shy. Whether it was the expensive restaurant, which you clearly couldn't afford with any part-time job as a student. Or if it was because he was older than you. Whether it was the experience, or his money that intimidated you, he liked it.

༶ for him, it was fun to see you turn into a shy mess, not knowing where to look, fidgeting with your own hands.

༶ honestly, he likes seeing you shy. Whether it's because he took you to a chic and expensive place, because he gave you a very pricey gift and you don't know how to react, or because of the comments from people who see you together, even when your friend talks about the "hot, rich old man" that you’re going out with

“soo, did you two already..?” your best friend asks sitting on your bed, watching you open another gift from in-ho. Not that you were complaining, but you didn't know how to reciprocate while he spoiled you so much.

“did we what?” you ask a little confused, turning your present okhar away to look at your friend. After a while, you got used to her being excited to see you dating someone, especially a rich older man who treats you like his wife.

“god, you’re so naive, I’m talking about sex” when you heard what she said, you looked at her a little disconcerted as you finish opening the package and see a beautiful pair of boots, it was obvious that she would want to know the details. And you'd be lying if you said you hadn't thought about it yet.

“noo!! we did not, it’s still a little to early for that”you respond, laughing and throwing one of the pairs of boots at her as a joke. “now come here, I need help with this other gift”

༶ and yes, sex with him is for sure a thing.

༶ he’s a natural dom. Even though he likes the view of having you on top, he loves having you on the bottom. He's a big, muscular man, and he's not at all modest about it. So having a small girl underneath him is exciting.

༶ he likes to hold one of your hands when you are underneath, the other hand on the side of your head. But sometimes, when things are at their roughest, he likes to have a firm hand around your neck, kissing you while his other hand travels between your legs and massages the inside of your thighs.

༶ afterwards he would like to stay in bed, you lying with your head on his chest while he pours himself a glass of drink. Hearing you talk about that mean teacher who is very strict with you, or about the girls you and your friends don't like.

༶ he allows himself to think it's funny. While your mind is filled with the things you want to buy, your care routine and the tests you have to study for, he thinks about games, receiving VIP guests and especially how to keep everything in order.

༶ when he has to return to the island for the games, he invents a business trip, you are a little confused, because he had never told you about his work. So he uses as an excuse the story that he comes from a rich family and is going to visit some important old friends.

༶ during game week, he seriously considered telling you about everything. You missed him, considering that you were practically never apart from each other since you started dating. He had even planned to ask you to live with him, having even bought an expensive and large apartment for that.

༶ after a while, he started taking you to some events that he, as the frontman, attended, like the Halloween. Even if he hadn't told you exactly what he worked with, you could already tell that it wasn't something common, but you didn't care, you just wanted him.

༶ so when he tells you about the games, you accept it. Of course, you're so good to him, you'd never doubt him when he said they were just giving people a better opportunity.

༶ in the next edition you would watch the games with him. In-ho sat on the couch, a glass of whiskey neat in his hand, with you snuggled next to him, hiding your face in his chest every time someone got shot or got a bad bruise.

༶ he likes to admire you. He knows you are bright as the morning, as soft as the rain, pretty as a vine and as sweet as a grape. hee knows he's the opposite of those cute and innocent things, but he can't resist keeping you close, pulling you more and more into his world, even if you were too sweet for him.

[trickstarbrave]

went on reddit and saw the same dumbass take of "people just hate delphine because she's rude. she wants to punish a war criminal like paarthurnax and you guys only defend paarthurnax bc he acts nice even though he's killed and inslaved countless people" and got really mad about it again.

delphine does not give one flying golden scaled fuck about paarthurnax's war crimes. she wants the LDB to be a killing machine emperor and sees dragons as irredeemable monsters that exist as canon fodder to that end.

i'll believe in her faux moral superiority when i see her record of the great war. has she never killed or harmed an innocent person to save herself? never torched any fields? never lied and stolen? never killed a medic/healer? i don't frankly believe that she hasn't. she's shown she will do whatever she can to achieve her end goals, including using and throwing away people like malborn who have no means to defend themselves and have everything to lose by helping her.

i love evil bad women who do bad things. i hate delphine because she is a badly written hypocrite.she is uninteresting and dull and the only reason the creators and some fans side with her is because they uncritically accept the idea that elves and dragons and any non-human species on nirn are morally corrupt and deserve all the suffering they are put through by humans. she would do the same things paarthurnax has done for a dragonborn emperor and do so gladly, saying it's different because the end goal is a dragonborn ruling over everything and making everything "right" in the world (by giving her power and acclaim in the form of the blades)

every intelligent life has great capacity for evil and for good. the very same drive to conquor dragons feel can even be used for protection, as seen in akatosh and paarthurnax, as well as some emperors. even still, actions driven to protect can harm countless other people because there is always a capacity for harm and to ignore that is to become complicit in that harm, thus turning it into evil. because evil is not a capacity for harm but a blind acceptance of it for your own gains.

the people who were harmed by paarthurnax forgave and celebrated him. they have protected him and both learned from and taught him. in that sense, he has atoned for his sins because the very people who were harmed by him and lost loved ones to have have accepted him when they could have hunted him down like theyve done to every other dragon. in that sense, how is anything we do to kill him thousands of years later "justice" when we have no capacity for the harm he's done? will killing him bring anyone he's harmed back? will it truly stop him from hurting anyone in the future? if we kill anyone with the capacity for harm, that means we have to kill everyone we come across. how is that just? how is that good?

this game fucking sucks for asking morally complex questions and then having the most dull and uninteresting non answers to it. you cant kill delphine because the answer is supposed to be she's right because shes a human who supports the old empire and anyone who stands opposed to that goal is bad and wrong. well the old empire fell because hes no longer needed in the world and she needs to get over it. martin septim's sacrifice made certain of it. why do we have to chase the glory days of a fallen empire to make things "right" in the world? the septim empire was fraught with much pain and suffering and crimes against humanity. who are we or delphine for that matter to decide that suffering was good and just? what truly makes our potential destruction and conquering of tamriel any more morally good than alduin's?

[svetamillss]

hiii js a request but can u make one where ur ignoring hyun ju (any reason is good) or u can do her ignoring (reader) but she prob will never, - anyway sfw or nsfw is fine!!

Your little punishment for her💕

Featuring: Cho Hyun Ju x Reader(f)

Summary: The girl was delayed at work too often.

Warning: easy NSFW

A/N: I hope I understood your order correctly!

💕💕💕

Your life with a girl was just wonderful. Love, tenderness, care, the coolest sex and so on.

But, unfortunately, you haven't had it for a long time now. It's not that you quarreled or broke up at all. It's just that Hyun Ju has too much to do at work now, she comes back too late.

It started to stress you out. Tactile hunger makes itself felt. You really missed your Hyun Ju, her kisses, caresses, and pleasant sex. The girl understood, because she missed you too, but she couldn't help it. So all you had to do was wait and complain to your friend.

- She comes too late, leaves when I'm still asleep. We hardly see each other. I miss her terribly. - you cried on the phone.

- It's really sad. You have to act, honey. Take your girlfriend yourself. Even if she works a lot, it doesn't mean she should forget about you. You don't forget about her because of your studies and work, do you? No. That's why she needs to be slightly punished. - your friend said, she definitely interested you.

- Punish? Punish my Hyun Ju? How can I do it? I don't want to hurt.

- My dear, you misunderstood me! No need to hurt her, just make a little mockery. I have an idea. When she comes home, don't say hello to her and don't approach her. You need to ignore her a little and then she will pounce on you with kisses. I also do it with my girlfriend. Therefore, the effect is working. - you liked the idea and decided to act.

You even got lucky. Your girlfriend came home earlier.

- God, baby, I finally came home earlier. - she said, coming closer to you, but you didn't turn to her, but just sat in the phone.

- Baby? Did something happen? Why don't you react to me. - she knelt in front of you to better see your face, which tried to keep on the phone.

- Baby..did I do something? Why are you silent?? Did I offend you? Did I do something wrong? - but you didn't answer, she even started kissing your knees.

- God, baby, don't torture me! I missed you so much, I want to spend time with you, but you are silent and don't even look at me. Baby, I need your attention, please. - her sad voice and the words she told you had a strong impact on you, and that's why you gave up. You looked at her and she just shone.

- Baby! How you scared me! What happened?

- It's just that we haven't had anything for a long time..no love, no kisses, no sex, I missed it. And a friend advised me to make fun of you a little. So that you don't forget about me even after work.

- Baby, forgive me, I really had to give you time, even after work. I'm sorry, baby, you know that I love you very much.

- I know, I love you too. - her smile became more insidious that you were even scared.

- So my little baby decided to punish me? - the butterflies in your stomach immediately woke up. That you blushed quickly, she noticed it, so she got closer.

- You should also be punished for such a thing. - you swallowed nervously.

- And how? - but instead of answering, she only moved the fabric of your home shorts, showing herself your white panties.

- I'll bring you to the peak, but I'll forbid you to cum, let's see if you can handle it, my little prankster.

It was the best evening in a long time. Hyun Ju brought you to three orgasms.

You were grateful to your friend.

💕💕💕

[thoughtfulfiction]

Operation: Den Prep

Author’s note: I feel like Joe is very dramatic about things he can’t control and impending parenthood is definitely chaotic. Hope you enjoy this fluffy piece!

All you wanted to do was take a nap. You weren't asking for much. Just an hour, maybe an hour and a half of uninterrupted sleep.

But no. That would be too easy.

The cars that lined the driveway couldn't be a sign of anything good. Joe wasn't really one to throw parties, and with exactly four weeks before the baby's due date he wasn't exactly the most chill or relaxed man in America. If anything, the cars were a sign that you wouldn't be getting that nap in any time soon.

A gigantic sigh leaves your body when you walk in the door. There are people—strangers— in your home, scrubbing every square inch of the place.

"Joe?" You call out, attempting to scoot past the people dusting the vents.

"He's upstairs in his office," a woman responds kindly, in the midst of scrubbing baseboards. Your friend Nikki, who was with you all day, stares at everyone in shock before helping you up the stairs.

You caught your breath a little while running your hand over your baby bump, feeling like you climbed Everest. Nikki knocks on the door and waits for Joe's voice, telling you two to come in. Your husband was seated at his desk, highlighting sections of The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be, surrounded by several other parenting books.

"Joseph..." Nikki begins since you still can't breathe. “What the hell is going on here?"

"Language," Joe says without looking up from his book, "he can hear you."

Nikki turns to look at you and you shake your head, not wanting to get in the middle of it right now. Your eyes were telling her to just focus on one problem at a time, the biggest issue at hand being the cleaning crew taking over the house. She seems to agree. "Okay, let me try that again," he nods, finally looking up, a disinterested look on his face. “Don't know if you know this but, there are people downstairs treating your home like it's a warzone on germs."

"I know. I hired them to do exactly that. Because it is." He says in a matter of fact tone. “I want everything to be perfect when the baby comes home. The house needs to be as clean as possible so he has a safe environment.”

“Joe, this isn’t prepping for the end of days. You realize babies don’t come out demanding hospital-grade cleanliness, right?” Nikki jokes, leaning against the doorframe.

Joe doesn't find it funny. “Do you even know how many germs are in the average house? I read it’s millions. Millions, Nicole. I’m not risking it.”

You sigh, walking over to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. He was adorable when he got like this—focused, determined, and completely over the top. It was endearing, but you could already tell you'd have to reel him in before he booked a hazmat team to inspect the nursery. “Joe, I appreciate what you’re doing. I really do. But we’re supposed to be relaxing these last few weeks, not running ourselves into the ground.”

“You’re the one who should be relaxing,” Joe said, standing and gently guiding you to sit in his chair. “You’re growing a human being. That’s a full-time job. I can handle everything else.”

You let out a soft laugh, shaking your head. “Joe, I don’t need you to handle everything. We’re a team, remember? And besides, I don’t want you burning yourself out before he even gets here.”

“I’m fine,” Joe insisted, his tone firm but caring. "I promise. I just...want everything to be right for him. He’s going to depend on us for everything, you know?”

Nikki sat down on the couch in the corner of the office, still grinning. “I’m not gonna lie, this is kind of impressive. Most dads just install the car seat and call it a day. But you? You’re basically turning this place into a baby-friendly, germ-free utopia."

Joe shot her a look but didn’t argue as you let out a yawn. "Are you tired?" He rushes out, "they should be done in our room, you can go take a nap if you need it. I was serious about you getting some rest."

"And so was I about you getting some rest. We won't be sleeping as much when he gets here so getting a head start on sleepless nights isn't the wisest business decision."

"Okay," Joe folds the corner of the page that he's on and stands up, kissing you on the side of the head. "What if...we kick Nikki and the cleaners out and we go take a nap?"

"Um hello?" Nikki waves her hand in the air, "still here, in the room, with both of you. I can hear everything you're saying."

Joe doesn’t bother acknowledging her, his eyes focused on you as you nod with a laugh. “I love you, Nik, but he’s right. I need to lie down before I collapse.”

Nikki smirks, standing and brushing imaginary dust off her jeans. “You’re so lucky you’re carrying my baby, Y/N. Go take your little nap, I’ll see myself out.” She pokes Joe in the chest as she passes. “Joe, co-parenting with you is going to suck, but I gotta admit—you’re going to be a killer dad. You just don’t need to stress yourself into a heart attack to prove it.”

Joe rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. "For the last time, it's OUR baby. Not yours. There is no co-parenting."

"Sure," Nikki smiles, patting him on the back, "sure buddy. Whatever helps you sleep at night. By the way, good luck kicking out the cleaners. I'm pretty sure one of them is power-washing your oven.”

She’s gone before Joe can reply, leaving you shaking with laughter as he mutters, “I’m changing the locks tomorrow.”

When you woke up from your nap, Joe was gone. You found him downstairs, scrolling through the notes on his iPad, intense focus that you'd really only seen when he was going over film. It was heartwarming to see that he was taking impending fatherhood as seriously as he took his job. In a way, being a dad was like taking on another job. With endless hours, no days off and no pay. But the rewards? They were going to be worth everything.

Sinking into the spot next to him, you leaned your head against his shoulder. “What are you up to?”

"Going over the checklist," he replied, his hand automatically resting on your belly, absentmindedly tracing small circles with his thumb. "We've got a bunch of deliveries coming tomorrow to get the nursery done which will probably take a couple days. Then we need to start getting the fridge stocked and pack our hospital bags. I was also thinking we do a trial run to the birth center."

"A trial run? Why?"

“I need to time it,” he said, his fingers still drumming softly against your bump. “Traffic could be bad, you’ll be in pain, and I’d rather not have to deliver a baby in the car. I mean, I can learn how to, but I’d rather not.”

You couldn’t help but smile as his focus shifted momentarily, his hand now lightly tapping your belly like he was sending a secret code. “Joe, we’ll be fine. We’ll get there when we get there. Not everything is gonna go to plan so let’s not waste time but trying to plan out every detail.”

“I hear you and I get what you’re saying but I’d rather be overprepared than caught off guard,” he muttered, flipping to a new note with his free hand. His other stayed firmly planted on your stomach, as though he could steady the world by keeping a connection to the little life inside. “Oh, and dinner with our parents tomorrow…that’s going to be something.”

"Be nice. They mean well," you reminded him, nudging his arm.

“Sure, but last week my dad said something about bourbon on baby gums helping with teething. I had to pretend to choke so I wouldn’t laugh in his face,” Joe said with a soft laugh of his own. Then, without thinking, he leaned down and whispered against your belly, “Just ignore your grandpa, buddy. We’ll do teething the right way.”

Your heart swelled at the gesture, and you reached out to thread your fingers through his hair. “Joe, you’re already such a good dad, you know that?”

His eyes softened as he looked up at you, his hand still cradling your bump. “I just want to get it right, for him… and for you.”

"You will. And you know how I know?" He shakes his head, his eyes locked in on you, searching for your answer. "Because once you put your mind to something, you don't let anything or anyone stop you."

For a moment, he’s quiet, his gaze softening before he speaks. “You’re gonna be a great mom, you know that?” He reiterates your words, his voice is barely above a whisper as he leans in, sneaking a kiss.

Your laugh is light, but your heart swells as he places his lips on yours one more time. “Kid’s pretty lucky,” he murmurs, his lips brushing against yours as he pulls back. “And he doesn’t even know it yet.”

The rest of the evening is spent ironing out some minor details of Joe's fool proof baby plans.

Your husband is not the handiest person in the world. He's more of a "I'll hire someone who's more qualified" kind of guy. Exhibit A? Full time chef so he doesn't have to cook. Exhibit B? Full time cleaning staff. To be honest, he probably doesn't know how to change a tire. But he also probably has access to triple A and one phone call from Joe Burrow might actually have everyone working that day rushing out to answer the call. With all that being said, you assumed that putting together furniture would not be something he'd be inclined to do. And then a few weeks ago he, Jimmy and your dad spent three hours building a custom Bellini crib. Now that he had a taste of satisfaction in knowing that he put it together with his own hands, he wanted to build everything in the baby's nursery.

Today's project consisted of your dad, Jimmy and Joe putting together a bunch of things that were delivered while you, your mom and Robin sorted through baby clothes and collected freshly washed laundry to place in his closet. Every tiny sock and little hat sent butterflies in your stomach at the thought of your own tiny person wearing these clothes in just a few short weeks. It was both daunting and exciting.

Throughout the day, more people were walking into the house, Ja'Marr came in first since he pretty much lived next door. Sam showed up 30 minutes later, a tool-kit in hand. A few high school friends even drove from Athens to help.

"Guess Joe called in the calvary." Robin says with a laugh, putting the onesies she just pulled out of the dryer in neat stacks to count and fold.

A few hours later, the three of you took a look at the inventory laid out before you. Your son probably had enough clothes to last him through four outfit changes a day for the next few months. You mentally reminded yourself to cut everyone off from buying any more articles of clothing until further notice.

The doorbell rang and Joe magically appeared downstairs to answer it, his Jeff Ruby's catering order had arrived. A few staff members carried in all the food and Joe thanked them on their way out. Before you could even ask, he said "you don't think they're all working for free do you? Had to give them a few incentives." You simply shook your head, a smile forming on your lips as he disappeared upstairs again.

When the guys were finally done, everyone gathered downstairs to eat dinner, casually chatting about life, Ja'Marr giving a recap of his offseason so far and what trips he had planned. Everything was actually normal until your mom spoke up.

"So, who are you guys gonna have in the delivery room with you?"

Joe nudged you under the table with his knee, giving you a look like "here we go."

"Um...we're still finalizing details of the birth plan. I was just thinking me and Joe for now, the less people seeing me at my worst, the better," you joke, trying to keep it light.

"Well what about visitors?" Robin chimes in. “How soon are after are we going to be able to meet the little one?"

"We were thinking the next day. Gives us time to settle in, get some sleep and then have you guys meet him," Joe says casually. That seems to satisfy all parties, your parents nod in understanding and you breathe out a sigh of relief that the conversation doesn't go any further.

Pretty soon after dinner, most of the guests are gone and Joe asks if you want to see the nursery. You immediately hold out your arms and let him lift you to your feet, keeping a hand on the small of your back until you reach the room. Before he opens the door he covers your eyes with his other hand. "You ready?"

"Yes," you let out a small laugh, the anticipation eating away at you, "you've been hyping up these packages for weeks let's see what you’ve done."

"Alright," you hear him open the door and he guides you inside by the hand, still keeping your eyes covered. "3...2...1."

Some of the big things had already been put together. The walls had been painted, the closet space was set up, Joe had brought an LED starry-night ceiling projector (on top of the chandelier that was already in the room) and a sleek, modern changing table with a built-in warming pad for wipes along with several other gadgets. Yes it was too much. No, he wasn't going to return any of it.

Your eyes scanned the room: a plush, white rug that looked too soft to step on without socks, a glider that seemed to have more tech features than your car, and a Dyson purifier glowing faintly in the corner. You couldn’t help but smile at the thought of all the hands that had come together to make it perfect. “He’s not even here yet, and he’s already so loved,” you said, your voice catching slightly.

"He definitely is," Joe says happily, knowing he and his team nailed it. "Come on, I'll give you a tour." He gestures toward the window, "blackout curtains. I read that they can help babies and toddlers sleep better. They can also help regulate the temperature and reduce noise. For temperature though, I got a Dyson obviously, it's supposed to be the best.” He walks you over to the next spot. “Over here we have the changing table."

"Does this...have a built in warming pad for wipes?"

"Yeah isn't it great?” He beams, “so his little butt is warm when we change him in the middle of the night."

You let out a soft laugh at how much of a softie he already is for someone he hasn’t met yet. "He's gonna be mad we're changing him either way, warm wipes or not. But I know you’ll be using it so it’s fine.”

He opens the top drawer of the changing table, "I put some miscellaneous stuff in here. All organic. Silk-blend crib sheets, swaddles, and burp cloths that I washed yesterday so they're ready to use. Over here is the feeding station and the mini fridge, which I'm really excited about."

"Why do we need a mini fridge in the nursery?"

"Think about this. I'm on overnight baby duty and you're catching up on sleep. Our baby is sobbing because he's hungry. Instead of making him wait while I go downstairs and grab a bottle, we just have the bottles in here. And then this little compartment on this side is a freezer so we can have milk storage bags in here too since the bottle warmer is right there. And watch this,” Joe said, pressing a button on the bottle warmer. “It’s like a Formula 1 pit stop but for babies. Two minutes tops, and he’s good to go.” You raised an eyebrow, trying not to laugh at his comparison.

"You know what? I'm not mad at it. Keep going."

"Right next to the fridge is the actual feeding station so we've got a couple pillows here next to the chair, burp clothes and then a little table in case whoever is in here needs water or to set something down. White noise machine is over here. You gotta play with the setting there's like 100 sound options and custom settings. The baby monitor is cool too, it has HD video, two-way audio, sleep analytics, the whole nine.” Joe pick up the expensive contraption. “Here, let me show you some of the noise machine settings."

He was too excited for you to decline, so you motioned for him to go ahead. "This one is ocean waves," he said, hitting a button. A soft crash of waves echoed through the room. "And this is rainforest sounds. Oh, and this one—"

"OW!" you yelped, clutching your belly and bending forward slightly.

Joe froze mid-button press, the sound of chirping birds now filling the nursery. "What? What happened? Is it happening?" His voice rose an octave as he practically leapt across the room to you.

You couldn’t help but laugh through the sharp jolt of pain, waving him off with one hand. "Relax, Joe. It’s not labor. It’s uh...lightning crotch."

"Lightning what?" His panicked expression turned to utter confusion, and he blinked at you like you’d just spoken a foreign language.

"It’s this sharp, sudden pain down there," you explained, gesturing vaguely toward your lower half. "Totally normal. Just your kid punching my nerves like one of those UFC fighters you're obsessed with."

Joe stared at you, wide-eyed. "That’s a thing? That’s allowed? Why does no one tell dads about this stuff?"

You shrugged, still giggling as you slowly straightened up. "Welcome to pregnancy. Every day’s a surprise," you reassure him, patting him on the back.

Joe ran a hand through his hair, looking genuinely rattled. "Okay, so let me get this straight. So far, there’s morning sickness, swollen ankles, back pain, weird cravings, and now lightning crotch? What’s next? Spontaneous combustion?"

"Would you calm down?" you teased, reaching for his hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. "It’s not that bad. Just part of the process."

Joe let out a dramatic sigh, muttering, "You’re making a whole person, and I can’t even keep up with the symptoms."

"You’re doing great, babe," you said with a smirk. "Now, are you gonna show me what’s in the next drawer, or should I add 'Joe having a meltdown' to my list of pregnancy side effects?"

That earned a laugh from him, and he shook his head, pulling himself together. "Fine. But I’m looking this lightning crotch thing up later," he said, giving you a playful glare before opening the next drawer.

Joe is going through the various assortment of baby blankets but what catches your eye is the bookcase. You step closer to it, running your fingers over the leather-bound spines. "Are these…first editions of Goodnight Moon and Oh the Places You’ll Go?"

"Collector's editions," Joe corrected with a sheepish shrug. "My mom used to read these to me,” Joe explained, his voice soft. “I figured…maybe I could do the same for him. Only with the fanciest versions, of course.”

"Of course,” you affirm. “You're adorable. This place is...a lot. But it's genuinely perfect Joe, you guys did an amazing job, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, I should be thanking you. You're making us parents soon."

"I know. Being in here and seeing it finished makes it feel more real. There's gonna be an actual person using this stuff. That's insane."

He grabs your hand and leads you out of the room, "it is insane. And I can't wait. I wonder what he's gonna look like."

"I hope he looks like you, that would be so adorable. Having a tiny version of you would be a dream."

Joe chuckled, a soft, boyish sound that made your heart flutter. "You’re setting the bar pretty high for this kid," he teased, then paused, his expression turning serious for a moment. "But really, no matter what he looks like I know he'll be perfect."

The two of you stood there in the quiet of the hallway, the soft hum of the mini fridge in the nursery the only sound. For a moment, everything felt perfectly still—just the two of you, on the edge of an adventure that would change your lives forever.

You said goodbye to the last of your visitors and you turned around to Joe standing in the middle of the living room holding a notepad and a pen. "Where did you even get that, weren’t you just hugging your mom?"

"I had it on the coffee table. We’re supposed to watch the video for our prenatal class, remember?"

"Right now?" You ask, looking at your phone. It was only 9pm but it felt like at least one in the morning. You felt like Joe with his strict bedtime during the season.

He nods, already reaching for the remote. "I have big plans for us tomorrow so yeah, now is the perfect time."

"Alright, put it on." You relax into him, grabbing your blanket. "You're really gonna take notes?"

"Yeah. This is for educational purposes, I need any helpful tips I can get."

"You're sure you're gonna be able to watch and write things down? I don't want to scare you but, it might be intense."

"Babe, I get chased by grown men who want to take my head off for a living. Intense is my middle name," he places the notebook on the table and ditches the writing utensil, lazily placing his arm around you before starting the video. "You know what? I might not even take notes this time, I'll probably watch it again in my office in a few weeks when we get closer to the due date and take notes then."

You shrug, letting him do his thing. "Whatever you say, babe."

Joe's relaxed posture slowly turned a bit more tense as the video went on, the graphic image of the baby crowning was unfortunately going to be engrained in his memory for a long time. You had to stifle a laugh as his usual cool, calm, and collected demeanor cracked like a fine china plate dropped onto tile.

"Is...is that what we're gonna go through? What you're gonna go through?" His voice was shaky, as though he’d seen a ghost.

"Yup," you emphasized the ‘p’ sound. "That right there is the beauty of childbirth Joseph." You could practically feel his discomfort radiating off him.

"Oh my god." Joe muttered, his eyes wide in disbelief as he tried to mentally recover.

You couldn’t help but laugh, leaning your head against his shoulder. "You know, it’s not all that bad. It's just...well, it’s a lot. And it’s very messy.”

He blinked at the screen, still not sure how to process what he’d just witnessed. "Right, sure, a lot. Just—" He exhaled dramatically, trying to find words. "I need a drink. I don't even like alcohol. Or we should maybe just call it a night and go to sleep. I need maybe a small...break from the miracle of life."

You chuckled, wrapping yourself up in the blanket and snuggling into his side. "Welcome to parenthood, Joe. Just wait until you're actually in the room. This was just the trailer."

Joe leaned back, a hand on his forehead as he processed the visual overload. "Little man needs to stay in there a little longer. I'm not ready to watch that horror film."

After declaring that the two of you needed a break from baby stuff, you and Joe took it easy the next day, diving into a true crime marathon after he came home from his morning workout. It was the perfect distraction from all the overwhelming baby prep. But today, he was back at it—better than ever.

"Did you know that newborns don’t have kneecaps? They have cartilage where they should be. They don’t get kneecaps until later."

"Wait what?" you ask, clearly confused.

"Yeah, I read it this morning, it's crazy. He isn't gonna have knees for weeks. I could've used that trick in 2020," Joe adds nonchalantly, his tone as casual as ever as he brushes off his knee injury from years ago. The way he brings it up so easily makes you laugh.

"What else did you learn?" you ask, your curiosity piqued.

Joe glances over at you, his eyes lighting up with excitement. "I read that dads who are involved early on in caregiving—like diaper changes and feedings—bond with their babies faster and more strongly. So I’m all in on that."

"Baby?" you ask, tilting your head to the side as you look over at him.

Joe pipes up, looking away from his hospital bag, still gathering his things. "Yeah?"

"You didn't have a choice on that one. You were gonna feed him and change his diapers whether you liked it or not," you laugh and easily catch the t-shirt he tosses at you. It just happened to be your favorite one you liked to steal and it smelled just like him. That was definitely coming with you to the hospital.

You stand up from your spot on the floor, checking everything off your list. You had comfy clothes, fuzzy socks, four outfits (just in case), a phone charger, a portable charger, a water bottle and a robe which you'd never worn before but Joe insisted you bring it because what if this was the one time that you actually needed it. "What's in your bag?"

Joe opened the Nike duffel and let you take a look. "Why do you have your backup iPad in here?" you ask, a little puzzled.

"OTAs start two weeks after he's born. I need to glance through stuff and make sure I'm ready," he explains, glancing at you with a shrug.

You roll your eyes playfully. "Fine, but what are these doing in here?" You pull out his Bose noise-canceling headphones. "Are you gonna tune me out while I'm in labor?"

Joe looks at you with wide eyes, practically dropping the headphones in surprise. "What? No!" He quickly pulls out another pair, a sheepish smile on his face. "I brought some for you too, just in case you want to listen to music and, you know, maybe tune me out a little."

"You're really thinking ahead, huh?" you tease, a grin tugging at your lips.

Joe shrugs, his smile growing. "I try."

You nod, crossing your arms. "I mean, I guess we’ll see if those headphones get a workout during the labor part."

Joe gives you a playful look, his tone still light-hearted but his eyes full of genuine excitement. "I’m just saying, if you need a little escape from my endless rambling during contractions, at least you have options."

"Oh Joey, I love you."

“I love you,” he sighs, pulling you into a tight hug, feeling steady kicks against his stomach. "And I love you too, baby boy. Kid can't stand not having the attention on him," he smiles, his voice soft but filled with affection.

"Taking after his dad already?" you tease, the corners of your mouth lifting into a grin.

Joe pulls back slightly, raising an eyebrow with a mock-serious expression. "Now you know that’s just not true."

You chuckle softly, resting your head against his chest. "I guess we’ll see, huh?"

He lets you go and the two of you go through all three bags one more time before Joe announces the next task. "Are you ready for our hospital trial run?"

"I still think it's ridiculous but if it'll make you feel more comfortable then I'm in."

Joe carries all the bags down the stairs, tossing them by the door and has the stopwatch open on his phone. "Okay, here we go." He presses 'start' and grabs the keys and the bags while you stand in the kitchen, taking a sip of water as you waddle to the car.

"Babe, why are you going so slow? We're on a time crunch here."

"Well if you must know, your son is crushing all of her internal organs and grinding my hip bones together. If I walk too fast I’ll pee. And then you'll have to get me new clothes and I'll have to change. That'd be really bad for your time crunch."

He drops it immediately. "Okay you're right, take your time."

Once he helps you in the car he rushes around to the driver's side and buckles in, opening the garage door and pulling out of the driveway. You're holding the phone, watching his time as he drives carefully but efficiently, weaving through the streets like a man on a mission. "What if there's traffic that day?" You ask.

"Then I'll figure it out. I just need ballpark range how long it'll take us to get there." He checks the stopwatch again, the third time in the last five minutes.

"Joe, you don't have to treat this like you’re at the two-minute warning during the Super Bowl when you’re down one score."

His grip tightens on the steering wheel despite your words, his jaw clenching as he glances at you, "better to be safe than sorry."

You shrug, reclining in your seat to take some pressure off your back.

"You good?" He asks gently, his hand finding its way to your leg. "How’s the baby doing?" Joe asks, glancing at you between turns, a hint of concern in his voice. "Should we pull over so you can stretch?"

"No, I'm fine," you sigh, a smile tugging at your lips as you settle in more comfortably. "I could really go for some ice cream right now though."

"We'll get some on the way home," he laughs, a relieved chuckle escaping him. "Call it a reward for a successful trial run."

He pulls into the parking lot of the birth center with a sigh of relief, glancing at his phone in your hand. "13 minutes, not bad at all," he says with a sense of accomplishment.

"Yeah, that's great," you smile, a playful glint in your eyes. "I want a scoop of rocky road and a scoop of raspberry sorbet. In a bowl."

"Together?" he asks, his eyebrows raised in mock disbelief.

"Yes," you reply, grinning.

Joe pulls out of the parking lot, a proud smile on his face as if he just completed an Olympic event. "Mission accomplished. Ice cream in five minutes."

A week later, Joe was going over a food list with his chef Morgan. "For quick snacks, I was thinking Greek yogurt with granola and fruit, hard-boiled eggs—she'll need the protein. Maybe some string cheese or cheese cubes, nut butter with apples or bananas. We’ll definitely need to stock up on protein bars," he lists off items, looking through the fridge and cabinets.

"What‘a going on in here?" You walk into the kitchen and spot Morgan jotting down every word Joe is saying.

Joe looks up and smiles at you but then pauses for a moment, his eyes tracking your every movement as you waddle over to the counter. He raises an eyebrow. "You alright? You're walking like you just got off a horse."

You roll your eyes playfully but feel a grin spread across your face. "Nice to see you’re paying attention."

"Seriously," Joe says, now focused on you with concern. He steps closer, his hands resting lightly on your shoulders as he watches you shuffle around. "That’s a pretty pronounced waddle. You okay?"

"Yup, just one of the perks of carrying a tiny human in there." You shrug, trying to act casual about it, but it's hard to ignore how much effort it takes to move these days.

Morgan, glancing between the two of you, stifles a laugh. "It’s the baby," he explains with a knowing look. "The weight shifts, and her body’s getting ready for the big day."

Joe doesn’t look entirely convinced. "I don’t know, babe," he says, lightly tapping your belly. "Maybe we need to get you some support or something. You shouldn’t have to waddle all over the place. Like one of those belly belt things to help take the weight off your hips.”

You smirk. "Trust me, I’ve got it covered. But thanks for noticing."

Joe looks at you, giving you a soft smile that says he’s both amused and a little concerned. "Yeah, no problem. I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable."

"Thanks, Joe," you tease, giving him a playful nudge before you turn to Morgan, who’s still scribbling on his notepad as Joe turns his away again. "So, what do you have so far?"

Morgan lists off everything he’s written, "Trail mix, chia pudding, pumpkin or sunflower seeds—"

"We never have those in the house," you note, crossing your arms. "Why now?"

"They're high in zinc and other nutrients that support lactation," Joe says simply, not looking up from the fridge.

"That's helpful but I really will probably need fruit, veggie sticks and hummus since you're interesting in me increasing my protein intake, maybe some avocado toast and smoothies too? Keep it simple, Morgan. I’ll also need the lactation cookies I sent you."

"Noted." Morgan says, catching Joe’s shake of his head as you laugh.

"Just get her whatever she wants," Joe sighs, exasperated, but with a fond smile. "I’m actually glad you brought up the cookies, Y/N, because I wanted to run something by you. Both of you, actually."

You sigh, already dreading the conversation, and the chef looks up from his list. "What’s up?"

Joe pulls out a folder from one of the kitchen drawers, showing Morgan the list of the “best” lactation cookie and energy bite recipes he could find.

"Babe," you groan, "I told you that you're overthinking the cookies. They’re just cookies."

“Lactation cookies,” he corrected, already flipping to another recipe. “These are important. They’re, like, your fuel.”

"My apologies your honor," you laugh again, "carry on."

Morgan laughs too and Joe playfully glares at him. "Yeah—yeah, laugh it up guys." He gestures toward the folder, "I highlighted the key ingredients on each recipe.”

The chef raised an eyebrow at the sheer number of recipes. “You want me to make all of these?”

You stand up and take a peak at the extensive list, "you don't have to do that Morgan, just make a few batches of chocolate chip and call it a day," you sense Joe tensing next to you and you rub his back a little, "you're doing that thing again. Where you're freaking out instead of relaxing. You need to relax," you say with a small smile, guiding him back to calm.

You take your eyes off of Joe and focus your attention back on Morgan. "Thank you for never flinching at his insane requests, but if these cookies don’t work out, you can just order some. As long as they have oats, flaxseed, and brewer’s yeast to support milk production, then I should be fine."

Morgan nods, jotting a few more things down before he leaves to head to the grocery store. Joe looks at you, his expression softening. You nod at him, offering a reassuring smile.

"Yeah, you’re not the only one who’s done their research,” you say, nodding your head as his lips twitch into a smile.

"I’m impressed.” He gives you tiny claps, the playful gesture breaking the moment of seriousness. “Speaking of research...I may have one more surprise for you."

"I don't think I can handle anymore surprises," you groan, "can you just tell me what it is?"

"I don't think you know what a surprise is," he laughs rubbing your back, "let me just show you and then I'll leave you alone for the rest of the day."

"That's a lie,” you reply flatly, narrowing your eyes at him.

"Okay, fine. It’s definitely a lie," he admits with a sheepish grin, shrugging like he’s caught red-handed.

Joe takes you to the most unlikely place to reveal a surprise. "Joe...why are we in the bathroom?"

"This is the surprise. Do you see anything different?"

You look around, not sensing anything extremely out of place. Until you see it and tears start pooling in your eyes. "How did you—when did you do this?"

"It's just a little something I put together to make things easier for you when we're home. There's another one in the closet downstairs. I'll move it out so you have easy access when it's time." He pauses, taking a second to collect his thoughts. "I just want to make sure you’re as comfortable as you can be. I know this is going to be tough on you, and I...I want to feel like I’m helping, even if it’s in a small way."

A postpartum station, not the most glamorous gift in the world, but it was one of the most meaningful things he'd ever done for you. Imagining him sitting in his office or sitting up in bed at night doing all this research to ensure you were comfortable made you want to cry. You never thought the sight of adult diapers, nipple cream, and a portable stool could bring you to tears, but here you were, overwhelmed by the thoughtfulness behind it all.

Joe gently wipes at a tear that slips down your cheek, his expression softening as he says, ‘hey, don’t cry. I want you to have everything you need. You deserve it."

You blink back the new tears threatening to spill over, shaking your head in disbelief. ‘I can’t believe you thought of all this. Thank you, Joe.

"Pretty much," he shrugs, giving you kiss on the side of the head. "Just one more thing to check off the list."

"And what's that?"

"Bringing him home and having him here, physically with us."

You laugh, resting a hand on your lower belly, on top of Joe's hand. "Oh yeah...that one minor detail."

“Minor detail?!” Joe grins, his eyes bright with amusement. “I think that’s the main event, babe. Let’s hope I don’t need a stopwatch for that one.”

His thumb brushes over your knuckles, grounding you in the moment, “Thank you, Joe. For this…for thinking of everything. If you’re this amazing now, I can’t wait to see you as a dad.”

His expression softens, his gaze dropping to your belly as if imagining the tiny life inside. “I just want to make sure you both have everything you need,” he says quietly. He spoke with such quiet certainty that it left no room for doubt—this wasn’t just a job to him; it was everything.

The lump in your throat returns, but this time you let it linger, because this—his quiet devotion, his unwavering effort—is why you fell in love with him. “You’re already doing it,” you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “And you’re doing it perfectly.”

Joe smiles, brushing a kiss to your temple. “Good. Now let’s get through the rest of this list before he gets here and turns everything upside down.”

Your laugh echoes through the bathroom, the two of you standing there in the glow of anticipation, knowing your lives were about to change in the most beautiful way.

[id0what1want]

It's kind of strange to me that I don't see more Michael lovers.

Michael Ole is a character that definitely isn't perfect by any means, but every character in Jentry has flaws. It's strange to me that people are a lot more critical of Michael's flaws than they are of Kit's.

Michael does not get the same screentime that Kit does and there is also the added factor of Kit dying at the end of his arc, making it so Kit dies a martyr instead of actually having to face the consequences of his actions.

We now have the mental image of Kit dying for Jentry in a brave and selfless action.

Except

Michael has the strength to live for Jentry. Michael has lost his house and his job to Jentry's powers and still accepts them as part of her. Michael doesn't change himself to be with Jentry and has interests outside of Jentry. Michael makes mistakes and fucks up, but he doesn't essentially commit suic*de the first time he and Jentry have a big fight.

Michael of course isn't perfect. He's a teenager, he's messy in relationships and struggles to communicate well. When they break up, he rebounds on another girl. He hurt Stella. He also didn't k*ll himself. He owns up to his actions. He lives with his consequences.

The reason why we're supposed to like Michael isn't because he doesn't do as much for Jentry as Kit did, it's because Michael handles his problems with growth rather than selfishness. Kit dying for Jentry was not for Jentry. Kit wanting to be human was not for Jentry. He would rather die than live with the fact that he fucked up. It's unfair to Jentry.

Michael wants to help Jentry because above all else they are friends. There are romantic undertones, yes, but Michael doesn't get anything out of their relationship the same way that Kit does. In fact, people forget that Michael has ALSO sacrificed for Jentry. He has ALSO risked his life time and time again for her.

It's definitely not that I hate Kit. Kit is my favorite character. I wholeheartedly believe that in terms of Kit and Jentry, Kit needs to take a page from Michael's book and grow rather than change himself on a dime. Kit's apology should not have been his death. It makes it so he escapes all responsibility for what he did. Dying is easy, living is harder.

Had Michael died for whatever reason, his actions would also be seen more favorably because of the martyr affect.

I am personally very refreshed that the canon choice in the male leads goes to the healthier option, and even more refreshed that the choice in the love triangle went to the lead with the darker skin tone. Black characters are often cursed with second lead syndrome, if they even get a romantic interest at all. It's also rare for characters of dark skin tones to get with the lighter skinned female lead, interracial relationships in a YA setting are incredibly rare. Jentry Chau already does amazing for having Jentry's love triangle options not being 'very white All-American guy' and 'slightly tanner troubled bad boy but is still very much white'. I would like to note that I am still annoyed that Michael's arc didn't get nearly the attention/time Kit's did and that Stella got sidelined so hard.

I am also still finding it strange, despite all the reasons I listed as possible explanations, that Michael's mistakes are received so harshly in comparison to Kit's reception. Michael committed the crime of teenage drama and Kit is guilty of stalking, attempted murder, and accounts of actual murder. Do I stand with my problematic wife? Yes, I really like Kit. Do I think Jentry is totally valid for not wanting to date a guy that stalked her in favor of a guy whose worst crime is breaking up with his girlfriend? Yes! I personally have been stalked before. Jentry extending the olive branch of friendship is already phenomenal, she is totally right for not wanting a relationship. Michael is very safe in comparison to Kit, and eliminating the factor of normalcy, Michael has never shown any intent of violence/danger towards Jentry.

I also have a theory that if the cast was gender swapped, and Kit acted the way he did towards Jentry, the fanbase would have been harsher in his reception. It strikes me as the same phenomenon where a light-skinned male can exhibit traits of autism and be excused where a female person with autism will act the same way and be considered a bitch. This is mostly theoretical, but it does tie back to Michael; if Kit had dark skin or if Michael acted the way Kit did, would the fanbase be harsher for his instances of violence?

There is the argument that Kit is Korean and thus also a minority, so Michael's race doesn't tie into his less enthused reception. While I would like to say that people make their assumptions solely on their actions, those numbers just don't add up AND it erases the impact Michael being black in the first place has on his character. Echo Wu stated in the Spilling the Milk livestream that she needed an All-American jock character, what was stopping her from making Michael a white boy quarterback? Michael's race and heritage adds dimension to his character past variation in the skin tone roster, people forcing Michael into the role of a jock gains further implication because people tend to force the view that black characters and black people as being physically stronger/more athletic. Black characters are not often portrayed to have nerdy interests like anime, band (specifically instruments that AREN'T percussion), or any kind of intellectual hobby. In-universe, Michael's race is important to his character and affects how he is perceived, why would that suddenly become false to his reception in the real world? The real world where racism DEFINITELY doesn't exist anymore, and subconscious racial bias is DEFINITELY dead.

I am NOT saying if you are team Kit that you are racist, PLEASE do not let that be the takeaway. This post was simply made because I was surprised nobody had pointed this out already and I think these conversations are important to have and consider instead of pretending these trends don't exist. I also love Michael, and I wish that I saw more people talk about him

[dunmeshistash]

G'day, I hope you're doing well on this fine Saturday!

A while ago, I began writing and sketching a Dungeon Meshi OC by basing him/her (haven't decided, though I might take the liberty of making it a guy) on my own characteristics, continent of residence and my play style in games like D&D to see what race, country and occupation would best fit that description in the world of good ol' Dungeons & Diners. In all honesty, the parallels I drew are somewhat superficial, so I could technically bullshit my way into being one of many things, but it's been a very fun way to kind of craft an OC that I think fits me the most regardless.

BUT, I have run into an epiphany! I need a hero, a guiding light, an archiver of Dungeon Meshi trivia! I need someone to save me! Super Meshi, will you answer my call for help?!

You see, I settled on making my OC an elf as I drew the most parallels with them on all fields and so far my characteristics are translating over quite well, but the problem lies in the fact that I'm above average in terms of tallness, but I don't really know how much I'd need to shorten this feller to make him pass as a right proper elf, y'know? I have dark hair too, I suppose, but you already answered a question regarding that a while ago. However, I can't find anything here on tallness other than a chart for every story character's height and that Mithrun's teammates are all taller than average, which... well, almost answers my question! Almost.

I guess I could just wing it, but with how much thought I already put into this character, I felt it was a good idea to ask you this; how tall can the average elf reasonably be based on all the information we have? Is it at all possible for them to reach or exceed tall-man heights or would that be far too unusual? Lycion is roughly 170cm, but I can't remember if any elf is taller than that, and while I've perused a great many ancient scriptures in search of precious knowledge, I believe you might be the hero I need to solve this relatively minor conundrum that may not even have a clear answer! I think the question might be a bit silly, but I hope you'll indulge me regardless. You'd have my infinite gratitude! I uh, I prolly coulda and shoulda condensed this ask into a single sentence. Pleasedon'tkillmethanks-

TL;DR: How tall can elves reasonably be based on what we know?

Oh, while I'm at it—and I say this every time I'm here and will continue to do so 'til the cows come home—your blog is a blessing. A wonderful, nice-looking, tidy blessing. The fact you're maintaining all of this is a boon to all of us. Thank you so much for keeping this up! I hope you have a delightful weekend!

Hello! That's really cool! I thought about making a Dungeon Meshi oc based on myself too before (a dunmeshisona?) but then I didn't lmao. Making characters is hard

Anyway I think "how tall can an elf be" is pretty subjective cause even irl humans vary a lot. I think one way to guess would be to do what people tend to do with their ages and compare the average proportions??

Average Male elf is 155 and Average Female Elf is 150 Average Male Tallman is 180 and average Female Tallman is 170

I did some doubtful math and came up with *0,86 for male and *0,88 for female (that's for tallmen height to elf height, if you want to calculate from elf to tallman it would be *1,16 for male and *1,13 for female, both of them you can round up the result)

I don't think that's very correct tho cause using that math on the tallest elves, Lycion who is 170cm and Cithis who is 165cm, it puts him at 197cm and Cithis at 186cm as tallmen that doesn't sound right but maybe it is. (Edit: I got flamela's height wrong she's 140cm I was still asleep I guess, changing it to cithis who IS 165cm I double checked)

It probably doesn't really work cause tallmen average in dungeon meshi is WAY taller than irl human average (google tells me the global average is 171 for men, and the average where I live is even shorter than that) and also cause the height difference between male and female elves is really small, which fits with how androgynous they are in general, there's not much difference between male and females so as a tallmen might be way taller than you'd expect for a woman but for elves Cithis and Lycion being so tall is probably about the same amount of striking.

I ended up rambling but this might help somehow? or just make you even more confused. Anyway I wouldn't worry too much about how tall to make your elf, if I were to make one I'd just make it like a bit taller than average cause that's what I am irl. I'm really bad at explaining math but if you need me to I can try (I tried and ended up making the post double the size and I don't think it made any sense LMAO)

And thanks! I love reading your comments it's very encouraging!

[gouraminnow]

Listen I am good at coming up with thoughts and general scenarios about something but I’m not so much good writing it out in detail. So if you can could you write a scenario for platonic yandere Ace with an older sister reader that may or may not have a crush on both Marco and Izou?

I mean that's what I thought too, tbh. Nothing wrong with trying :) but anyway, this is a really funny idea. Ace is fiercely protective of you and it pisses you off bc YOU'RE older. It's YOUR job to worry about HIM. STOP IT!

Rambling under the cut... doesn't feel very yandere to me tbh. Anon said sister but the gender really isn't relevant to what I wrote so it's GN.

Ace loves all his siblings, obviously, but being his biological sibling would be a little... different. The legacy he despises himself for doesn't apply to you, the beloved older sibling who was there for him and protected him growing up. He wants to return the favor, to prove he can protect you more than anything. I think he'd find a way to separate your connection to Roger from his own, self-worth issues are like that- it's always different when it's you vs. somebody else... but if we want extra angst: half-sibling. Rouge's first child, unrelated to Roger, a kid themselves when the Marines were killing pregnant women and newborns, who lost their mom so young and had to help care for the baby boy she died for...

It's not Ace's fault, you know. But you're also a kid, and neither Garp nor the bandits have the emotional capacity to help you unpack any of this. So you just stew in your anger, bitter about the responsibility, bitter about Ace's stupid dad who took your mother and ruined yours and Ace's lives before they had a chance to really begin. You don't hate Ace but you hate his dad too. Whether or not you're able to properly articulate this is up for debate- you're a scared, bitter child and you just miss your mom.

Okay, enough of that angst for now.

Honestly my first thought was about Ace's showdown with Whitebeard. Now he's got two bull-headed brats willing to fight him, even if you only do it to try and protect Ace. You knew your beloved little brother loudly proclaiming his intentions to take the head of the strongest man in the world would undoubtedly get him into trouble, and you have no reservations about telling him that to his face. He's not ready. He's not strong enough, not yet, he needs to train. He needs to wait, and quiet down, damnit!

It may have spurred him on further, in reality.

Whitebeard arrives, and your idiot younger brother has already spent 5 days fighting Jinbe when he separates you and the rest of the Spades from him and Whitebeard. You can't see or hear much other than his orders to go, but you're sure he can hear you screaming your head off at him. Your crewmates try to drag you away, try to get you further from the fray, knowing how Ace is about you.

But they also know how you are about him, and begrudgingly retreat without the beloved older sibling.

So it's just you, the older sibling. Your little brother is facing the strongest man in the world all by himself. And, stuck between a wall of fire and Whitebeard's sons- you don't stop to listen before you throw yourself through the flames to try and get to him. You make it through, ignoring the pain, the smoke that chokes you, to find Ace- already laid flat.

He's trying to get up. Whitebeard is saying something, but you aren't gonna sit pretty and listen. You barrel toward him just as Ace had and get laid out just as easy. It's embarrassing really. But what can you do, really? He's the one with the powers.

While it's Thatch who first greets Ace when he wakes up, it's Marco who greets you. You got burnt pretty bad during your stunt, he says, so while he understands that you want to see Ace, he can't let you get up. You are, much to your chagrin, stuck in there with him for a little while.

Until your little brother wakes up, bursting into the infirmary after getting Thatch's directions. You're both cussing at each other for biting off more than you each can chew, Ace yelling at you for being stupid and setting yourself on fire and you yelling at him for having the gall to stop you from helping. He's your little brother, goddamnit! But neither of you is having it. Everyone watching the exchange is sharing a "yep, these are siblings if we've ever seen em" look.

You are... a little bit more reasonable than Ace, who's attempts on Whitebeard's life are increasingly reckless as a result of the guilt he feels at your condition. You aren't buddy-buddy with anyone immediately, but you inevitably spend lots of time in the infirmary recovering from your burns. Marco is amiable, upfront about both your condition and Ace's activities, a sympathetic ear to your rants about your idiot little brother throwing himself at danger.

Good at assuaging your worries. You, your brother, your old crew all have a place here, if you want it. The friendliness he shows you and Ace endears him to you. And Izou, I imagine, helps you with skincare once you're a little better. Has recommendations that help with scarring, dryness, etc. I have an image in mind of the bandaged sibling relaxing next to him, a pot of tea between the two while Ace throws himself at Whitebeard again.

If you show interest in the two before Ace joins, his attempts may not remain solely targeted at Whitebeard... but you're quick to yell at him to leave them out of it, which inevitably starts another argument, and then he slinks off to sulk. If you show interest once the two of you join, there are no murder attempts- but he does glower at them if he sees you speaking too closely. They pick up on what's happening pretty quick and enjoy riling him up- even a yandere Ace cares about them and trusts them enough to know they won't hurt you. But he does make it very clear what will happen if they ever do anything at all to hurt you, which they find very, very funny. Because they won't.

[lady-belz]

What's Mine is Mine: A Dirty Shorts Fic

Kim Taehyung x Female Reader

Prompt: When he throws you on the bed and pins your hands above your head before leaning close to whisper “You're all mine!”

Author Note: The minute I saw this pic this morning... I just knew...

You don't remember what had caused you to be where you are now. All you remembered was that you had signed up to be part of the bachelorette auction to raise money for some foundation that you were blanking on.

You do remember the man who had bid the most for you.

He had caught your attention the moment he entered the room, looking very dashing in the 3 piece suit and leopard print tie. His dirty blonde hair sat stylishly on his head and you had to check yourself to make sure you hadn't drooled. He was beyond handsome.

You don't even remember your best friend speaking to you, her voice muffled because of how intensely you were staring at the man.

“Who is that?” you had interrupted her monologue about her boyfriend being fired from another job (she really needed to dump the loser already, he couldn't keep a 9-5 even one day but she was “in love” and didn't want to hear anything else).

“Who?” she asked.

“The 3 piece with the blonde hair?” you pointed him out where he was chatting with the director of the foundation that you still couldn't remember the name of.

“Oh, him? I think he's a famous K-pop idol. Can't remember his name or what group.” she shrugged, moving away when someone called her name.

You couldn't look away from him, and when he finally noticed you were staring, he smirked. He knew you'd been watching him. You stood in place as he made his way toward you, pausing every now and again to talk to someone.

“Hello, beautiful.” Those two words. Those two words in a tone of voice so deep, you nearly swooned.

You don't recall any of the conversation you had with the man, other than his name and what band he was a part of.

You don't recall him bidding higher and higher on you during the auction. Your eyes were locked on his through the whole bidding process. You hadn't known he'd won until he came to the stage and held out his hand to you.

You gladly took it and he lead you from the room amidst loud applause.

The sexual tension was higher than the moon as he drove to his apartment, the silence a tangible thing between you.

The moment you were inside behind the locked door, he hauled you into his arms, kissing you passionately. Your fingers did what they'd been itching to do all night, sliding into his hair and tugging hard, making him groan in pleasure.

You shoved his jacket from his body, dimly hearing the material fall to the floor as you grabbed his tie to loosen it and some of the buttons of his shirt. His hands went to your ass, squeezing hard, making you moan in return. You pressed your hands against his chest, shoving him hard into the chair behind him.

He stared at you hungrily, licking his lips as his eyes traveled your body. You'd been wearing a simple and sleek back dress that clung to your curves like a second skin. You reached for the zipper and slowly pulled it down, letting the material pool at your ankles, standing in front of him in a strapless black bra and matching lace panties. His eyes darkened as he reached for you, pulling you into his lap and kissing you hard.

He drew away after a moment, a small stand of saliva visibly connected to your lips. You both were breathing heavily and he dived in to nibble, lick and bite your neck, your head falling back to give him more room to pleasure you.

His arms locked around your waist as he got to his feet and started toward his bedroom.

He dropped you to the middle of his bed and kept you there with a single look that made your insides quiver with a need so great, your thighs visibly wet with how much you wanted him.

He slowly removed the rest of his clothing, keeping the tie in his hand and he crawled his way toward you.

Before you could ask, he took the tie and wrapped it around your wrists before pinning them above your head.

Your heart threatened to beat its way from your chest as he leaned in to whisper into your ear, his breath making goosebumps break out along your skin.

“You're all mine.”

The moan you released into the air was downright obscene as he ripped the rest of your clothing from your body.

You forgot to tell your best friend you'd left for the night.

You'd message her in a couple of days...

~End~

[swaps55]

Just wanted to say, regarding female characters - one of the strengths of Opus is the combination of Aslany and Pendergrass. One of my pet peeves is the rule of The Trio - almost exclusively, two guys and one girl. Han, Luke and Leia. Harry, Ron and Hermione. Katniss, Peeta, and Gale. Aang, Katara and Sokka. Ash, Misty and Brock. Every 3-man cell in Naruto. And so on. There's some overlap with love triangles - Bella, Edward and Jacob, for example - but the upshot is that the main character relationships can only explore how the guys get along with each other, and how they get along with the girl. How girls relate to each other is skipped over entirely because there's only one girl.

Then, the one girl is often relegated to being The Girl. Answerable for all womanhood. Like when Ron gets offside with his friends, it's because he's being a dick. But if Hermione does, it's because girls are weird. It perpetuates the two genders of Normal and Girl, and the reader is invited to sympathize with how hard it is for the Normals to relate to the feminine mystique of girls. But of course, girls are mysterious when they're never portrayed together, just existing. Normally.

Opus has two wonderful lead female characters who aren't so easily pigeonholed, and the story is as invested in how they play off each other as how any of the others interact. The thoughtfulness in what makes all the characters tick, and how they serve the story really comes through and makes it more engaging. And then there's Hannah, a powerhouse of a minor character in just a few scenes, you know she's my fave.

Fanfic is an adjustment after conventional fiction - it's more diverse, and the sheer novelty can provoke a kneejerk "why did they make that character [anything other than straight cis white]?" Not because there's anything wrong with it, but because it's new. But in sci fi especially, there's a verisimilitude to diversity.

This unexpectedly turned into a bit of novel, sorry! Aslany and Pendergrass are great!

Oh gosh, thank you!!!

Aslany and Pendergrass are so much fun and so very important to me, and it's absolutely incredible that they strike such a chord with others. I share your frustration on how often a solitary female character is expected to represent all women. "The Two Genders: Normal and Girl" is an amazing way to put it.

I've probably mentioned it before, but I have rules in Opus when it comes to supporting and background characters: they cannot be cis, white, male unless I have a good argument for why they should be, and to combat my biases when it comes to defaulting to male background characters (and BioWare's inability to conceive of female alien who aren't a sex fantasy), I try to start with female as default and then argue for why someone should be male.

And Opus, of course, is a story centered around a male/male relationship, which means I need to make a concerted effort to include women and their stories around that central through line. I wanted some of Sam's primary influences - good and bad - to be women. Hence Hannah Shepard, Guthra Tulak, and Anya Oseguera.

When it came to the 'Yang, I knew I already had two male lead characters, so I wanted to balance them out. Of the primary 'Yang OCs, only Clay Beaudoin is male, and he isn't white.

Okay, there's Wong, but because he's a plot device and effectively got fridged, I wanted him to be male. XD

Hannah Shepard is a lot of fun (I love how much you love her SO MUCH) because she takes so much blame for things most male characters don't. In many ways she's a parallel to Thane, who never takes much flak for being an absent father. Now, that's not something the reader should be blamed for: the ME2 narrative centers around Thane's perspective, which makes you sympathetic to him, while Opus very much looks at Hannah through Sam's lens, which makes her very unsympathetic. Which is why I so enjoy her occasional POVs when you realize that the world looks very different through her eyes, and maybe everything you're led to believe about her isn't the whole picture.

But Aslany and Pendergrass are really special, with their own motivations and complexities and strengths and flaws that, while sometimes making Opus more challenging to write, make it better. I'm really glad people have latched onto them, because it gives me more freedom to expand their role in the overall narrative.

[auguryofjellyfish]

chapter 4 starts tomorrow!! oh boy! some of my thoughts/predictions before we go in:

who will clean up the crime scenes

not Ken. no way in hell. he wouldn't be able to take it, especially Kamimura's, and he's not nearly self-destructive enough to do that to himself. by the process of elimination, that just leaves Mai as the only one who could. Ken might give her some pointers from what he'd seen Kamimura do and use, but, that's about it.

i have no doubts that Mai could handle this, but…it's still a lot. she's been put through absolute hell, is still in pain, and now this?

this whole cleaning thing made sense only when we'd had Kamimura with us. now it's like…sideyes staffside lazyass fuckers.

Ken

based on his demeanor post-trial, i think he'll just be staying in his room. which- please, don't, i wouldn't want to go through a whole day without an episode with him… if he's gonna be outside, then it's only for maintenance stuff like getting food, or in the library, reading, just for the sake of keeping the routine and having something to do.

if some others seek him out, he won't want to talk, he'll be very subdued and quiet. remember the polite and meek Ken, using lots of hedges and politeness markers? forget about it. if he sees Wada or Hama and they offer him to try their coping mechanism, i think he would decline. he will also be more easily irritable.

i might be sorta off with this, we'll see, but still, he won't be well. i really hope he doesn't cut himself off completely, because then… we won't know what he's thinking, at all. thinking, feeling, or anything. the one person he'd shared himself with is gone. he would be much worse than Wada- that one at least shared his thoughts out loud talking to Isono.

i wonder if Tamba might seek him out? now that would be something. Ken thought Kamimura hated her, and more importantly she kept accusing him of killing Kamimura in the trial, AFTER he'd been exonerated, so, he might not have much patience for her.

actually, Ken might not have patience for anyone. almost everyone considered the accusations thrown his way in the trial to have merit. it makes sense logically, obviously, as it's been stated many times, 'but i wouldn't do it!' is not a valid argument…even in this case.

but emotionally, that shit still gotta hurt, deeply. because we know he'd truly fucking never, not to Kamimura. this, combined with all the fucked up revelations about how Kamimura was treated and the details about the way he was killed…yeah. Ken got fucked over to hell and back. dude got put through a WRINGER. we need to see him tomorrow...

speaking of Tamba…i need her to have more screentime!! she's been so absent in chap 3, it's criminal. i hope she'll get more focus this chapter...

Wada

it turns out that Wada has more connections and support in the wake of Tsuno's death, while Ken has no one. it's like…goddamn. compared to him, Wada has had interactions with like- everyone! even if these interactions weren't often good. but Ken just hyperfocused on one person, whom he liked the most. it was beautiful, until it wasn't.

i'm so, so excited for his development. like, he'd just lost Manami, someone he loved, he's not fine by any means, but..like, he's getting stronger, right? i'm not the only one that feels like it's the case? he was terrific in the trial, with his contributions, and expressed so much righteous fury, and when it came to the matter of whether or not he was beat up by Okazaki, people stood by him. like. god. that made me so fucking happy. he lost so, so much, but i'd like to believe Manami's love won't go to waste.

no… nothing she's done will ever go to waste- even if nothing good happens to them, even if Wada and the whole cast die, she and her love mattered, so much. and so, i'd like to believe that because of her, and others' support, for however long he has, he will continue to grow, and be with other people.

besides, no one is gonna torment him anymore.

and obviously he might get a new sprite!! AAAA!!! chap 4 might turn out to be miserable but at least :3 Wada got new clothes and a haircut!!

i thought of something because of my 'righteous fury' comment...like Manami, Wada is also someone who can't stand injustice, when it's happening to other people. like....imagine him trying to take on Manami's mantle. following in her footsteps. trying to actively become a good person, not just be neutral. to honor her legacy and continue her mission. bruh. that would be Epic™

Hiroaki

my man is not okay. i don't believe that for a second. Ojima saved him, and tried so desperately to find the right words, and his support and presence definitely made a difference, but Hiroaki seriously almost killed himself a DAY AGO. with cyanide!! suicidal intent this strong, this certain, it doesn't just go away.

and Ojima can't just be his sole reason to stay alive. he tried so so hard to be "better" for Hiroaki and it made him break down. he's a very, very caring person and has a big heart but still, this is taking a huge toll on him. he's just one guy.

Hiroaki carried the trial cause he's one of the smartest people there, but there was still an air of resignation to him. he's not okay. also, he's continued the trend of giving stuff away…it was specifically a gift this time. still. still.

ALSO. FUCK. I'M SO WORRIED ABOUT HIM. he said he'd just tried to kill himself, to everyone. during the trial. that puts an enormous target on his back.

if you were a person who doesn't really want to kill, but had to choose someone…i mean…why not Hiroaki? he actively, truly wants to die anyway, right? out of everyone, he'd be the least "morally wrong" pick. one might even be able twist it into almost being a good thing. a sort of "mercy". these justifications could be enough....

Watari

Watari…she will try, but she won't be the same. i hope Hama and others will offer her support, cause…like, she lost her good friend, AND that friend ruined people's lives, irrevocably. it's not Watari's fault, she couldn't have known. but…who will take care of her? even if she seems fine, not as bad as Ken or Wada, like- she's not fine. i also hope nobody will put any blame on her cause holy shit. so many people need support, so many pillars of this cast are gone. this chapter's looking bleak.

chap 4 as a whole

a new floor will be opened, whee. we've had arts, STEM, what's next…sports? after the uhh something that was chap 3. what could they possibly do? is there even a point in doing anything? the kids are not okay…

Kamimura and Tsuno

i miss them. i miss Kamimura. i miss Manami. i miss them a lot. i wish i could write lengthy paragraphs about what they'll be doing as well. it feels wrong, to not be able to do that. the upper part of the list of my Tetro faves feels so empty now. they're still there...but, not. and their absence will definitely be felt more acutely tomorrow…actually, i will say more about this in a separate post.

to sum up:

Ken fan in me: 💀 Wada fan in me: 🥰 Kamimura and Tsuno fan in me: ☠☠☠☠

[she-ra-ra-skirt]

I'm Generation X, and my parents are Baby Boomer home owners in the UK and for various reasons I rent.

My parents are getting old, so we've talked about inheritance and how they want me to buy a home with the money they leave me, so I'd be secure ie not have a scumbag landlord screwing me over all the time.

But this got me really curious. There's a huge swathe of Baby Boomers who own homes, in fact, I think it's rare for them not to due to income vs house prices for them. So as they start to die, what happens to the property market? The people who inherit will be Generation X, if they have descendants, which is likely due to the social pressures they were under, so what will they do with the properties.

I'm convinced it's the Baby Boomers who keep the housing prices high and refuse to sell their houses at reasonable costs but what about the Generation Xers, who have often be screwed over by the housing market and may have lost everything in the 2008 crash as they still had a mortgage.

Will the Generation Xers who inherit houses but already have their own rent them out at affordable prices? Or will they get instantly corrupted by owning a house outright and now being in the position of their parents? Will we look a the next generation and say this is unsustainable, we need to do something about it and band together to fix rents until wages catch up, even if that's never?

If I inherit a house that has no mortgage, technically anything I sell it for is complete profit, so even after paying taxes, the money is still something I didn't have before, so would I suddenly be like, wait, I can sell this for a reasonable price, and still walk away with a shit tonne of money?

My Baby Boomer landlady told me that it's not worth her selling the house I'm renting. So I worked it out. She probably bought it for about £20k and now wants £250k for it 30 odd years later. It's not worth that much, but she won't take say £150k as she'd have to pay half in tax.

If she sold her house for £150k, paid half in tax, and deducted the original cost of the house, she'd still clear £55k. But that's not enough for her.

£55,000 is not enough money for my greedy bitch landlady. Will her children, Generation Xers, think the same way as her, continuing to fuck both the homeowner market or the rental market by wanting rent according to their own valuation of the property?

I don't see a solution to this situation at all, and it's only getting worse. Our government does force housing developers to have a certain percentage of new builds be affordable, but of course, they're really hard to get and are very limited and everyone who bought their house hates you, as you're bringing down the value of their house by being 'scum'.

as with so many american domestic policy sins, californians ofc are subjected to it in an especially acute and vivid form, but it is a general truth that the suffering of renters/homeseekers-as-a-class is the fault of property-owners-as-a-class. why are rents here so fucking bad? why are housing prices so ridiculous? bc the property values are high! why are the property values high? bc the propertied want it that way! they fight for their defining investment, and they win—again, and again, and again. theres a temptation to work thru the explanation here at finer levels of granularity: single-family homeowner activists fight to artificially restrict supply, thus increasing the value of their main investment; landlords essentially collude to continually inflate rents, leading to cartel pricing. but in addition to being more specific and thus more dubious, these lower level explanations occlude the very direct and fully general conflict obviously at work: maybe some careful mixture of affordable housing and suburban protectionism can reduce low-grade unit costs while boosting upscale home values by insulating the two markets from one another; maybe individual landlords can be enticed to defect from the collusion out of pure self interest and thus undermine the rent hike death spiral. but you CANNOT make rents and prices go down while having the property values go up. impossible. rock too big for god to lift. if its not definitionally impossible then its one rung up on the analytic-to-synthetic ladder

and yet!! every time i see politicians and pundits talk abt the homeownership rate (ie, the rate of belonging to the propertied class), its about "oh no its not high enough this is so sad we must do smth :(" or "we are fighting to make homeownership a possibility for marginalisxd folksx! ^^". to whose benefit is (gradually) increasing the homeownership rate supposed to be? not the currently existing homeowners, bc it is impossible without marginal detriment to their idol the bottom line. not, in the near term, the currently existing non-homeowners, bc the inevitably gradual pace of the additions to the ranks of the propertied supposed to be induced by the measures proposed means for the time being the main effect for most will be to further entrench the political power of the class primarily responsible for fucking them like a dog. and besides, whats the promise here, ultimately: "your current situation might suck, but if you are one of our lucky beneficiaries, you just might get to join the ranks of those responsible for it!"

fuck you. by every step the homeowner population diminishes, there is one fewer member of the bloc to vote and fight on its behalf. shrink the leech until its small and weak enough to wrench from the body it parasitises

[deoidesign]

.

[moiraimyths]

Before we call anon rude because let’s see it from their perspective, imagine getting an entire feast to eat. That can be pretty hard to start with so much that’s going on, but if they start with one thing they know they’ll like (aka one character they like) that can be the start for them leaping to other characters to finish the story and the bigger story. I struggle the same way to start book series if I don’t have at least one character that drives me to read it, it’s all about what can be the hook to push them through. Sounds like the anon is neurodivergent (just a guess) so they might genuinely not see it as rude and see it as a solution to even play the game to start with.

Btw absolutely adore the game, the complex and rich characters making them all so unique is amazing. The art is so pleasing to the eyes I love it!! I’m waiting for it all to get out at once so I don’t get too impatient. Shae however interests me the most, which routes will have the most lore for them? Will there be routes that give more lore in general based on decisions you make or do they all share the same amount? (I mean general lore not just Shae lore)

Apologies; we are not trying to accuse any asker of being rude! We are simply explaining our perspective as the developers / are trying to broadly encourage folks to dip their toes into other areas of the story outside of the main route(s) they're interested in, especially considering some routes will be made available sooner than others, and these other routes will likely contain additional scenes/lore of everyone's fave(s) regardless! We want to give each main cast member an equal amount of love (and lore) regardless of their overall popularity, so our goal is not to tut-tut anyone for having strong preferences for one character over the others, but rather to explain that you may be surprised by how much *more* you learn about your preferred characters in the other routes. That's all!

For Shae... Well, they were a foot soldier for one of the worst periods of the War. Lore wise, any other story that touches on the War will likely have content relevant to them and their experiences. ^^

[memento-morri-writes]

I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:

tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries

He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.