#She shows the shitty things in a way that conveys how shitty they are

[weirdtinkerer]

THE PEOPLE'S JOKER

(Ok, going on a ramble for a bit bc need to think and this is the place I can do that, so let's just get into it- thank goodness I don'tt have an audience!) TLDR: SWEET FUCKING HELL, WHAT A GOOD MOVIE. SEE IT. STOP READING, WATCH IT IN THEATERS. Like, for a brief moment, think about the last film you saw in theatres where it felt like an actual human being made everything- and I'm not saying just the effects- from the stop motion to the cartoon segment to CGI characters who feel like one person made them precisely the way they could. On top of this, it commented on all of the batman cultural mytthos in ways that only someone who was annoyingly obsessed with them could (I say this as a girl who was unhealthily obsessed for a good long while)- deep cuts of things from the 1989 movie, the statues from the Shumaker--

And while we're on the subject, is it just that I'm of a certain age where my babysitter was a beaten up copy of Batman and Robin, or is it a common thing that the Shumaker batman movies were serious formative moments of camp that settled in the collective queer unconcious, only to reawaken 20 years later when we all transitioned into catwomen, psychiatrists, and homocidal maniacs? asking for a friend. (for the record, mine was wanting to be Pamela Isley- hang out in a lab with snakes on an evil island lab? Make out with young Chris O'Donnell (I just knew him as robin, but whatevs)? Command around a lubed up muscle man (I will not elaborate on that fantasy, probably will delete later, but some propriety!)? AND be played by Uma Thurman?!?! When I realized this about myself a year into my transition, I legit snapped.) But it was heartfelt, all of the acting was astonishingly good, like, REALLY good. This felt like a labor of love and you all should see it. Currently it's in theaters where I live, so it's probably where you are too. Are you queer? Why haven't you seen it yet? Are you not? See it anyways and give her money.

[nonasuch]

The 2022 Miss Universe pageant was last night!

Which means: the National Costumes are here.

Yes, there is video. It’s worth watching if you want to see how some of these look in motion, but I’m warning you in advance that the emcees keep doing these shitty little rhyming couplets, and they will make you want to strangle them with one of the many available voluminous gown trains. So I’m suffering on your behalf, and liveblogging.

First up: Albania.

Sparkly flag-inspired bodysuit with train is the voting “present” of the Miss Universe National Costume Competition.

Angola. She did a fun dance on her way to center stage, which would probably not have been possible in her original costume, which was “tree-inspired” and too big to ship to New Orleans.

Argentina. This is where the video does come in handy, because without it I would not be able to award her First Contestant To Visibly Struggle Under The Weight Of Her Outfit. It’s a waterfall. The rainbow crotch area was certainly a design choice.

Armenia. I would like to see what’s going on with the bodice behind the... shield thing? but she never put it down.

Also, it turns out that when one contestant has a costume dedicated to solemn remembrance of the Armenian genocide, and the contestant immediately after her has a costume that’s about beach parties, there is kind of an uncomfortably abrupt tonal shift that happens onstage.

Aruba. Like I said: weird tonal shift! She did a little shimmy dance at Miss Armenia as they passed each other and it was clearly awkward for both of them. This is made of recycled materials leftover from Carnival, which is cool? I guess?

Australia. This is a prom dress. Boo.

Bahrain. A rare pants look! There’s a lot of detail in the headdress and bodice that’s kind of getting lost, but it looks cool in motion. Also the theme is apparently “Bahrain is rich as fuck,” so congrats I guess?

Belgium. Okay so the theme of this costume, my hand to g-d, is “the window on the International Space Station that Belgium built.” Why does this requires a shit-ton of leftover Christmas tinsel and some very awkward-to-wear angel wings? I do not know.

Belize. This is fun! It’s a good “lesser-known Batman villainess” kind of look. Like if Ivy and Catwoman co-mentored someone. The actual theme is “the world’s only jaguar reserve, which is in Belize,” but I think it’s also kind of implying that she might be a were-jaguar. Which, again, is fun!

Bhutan. This goes in the “just an actual regional/folk costume” category, which is also kind of like voting Present, but it looks like the fabrics are nice.

Bolivia. She has an entire Andean condor on her head so I’m already on board. This photo only shows the cloak, which is covered in silver spangles in honor of Bolivia’s silver mines, and is also why her condor is perched on a miner’s helmet. The dress underneath is entirely made of swags of sparkly gold beads, so the visual effect is actually pretty nice in motion.

Brazil. The construction details on this are actually quite lovely! Lots of intricate beading and rhinestone work. Unfortunately that doesn’t convey well at any distance, and also that white fin peplum thing flaps around really awkwardly when she walks. Oh, wait, she can flip it up to be a clamshell thing behind her head!

That looks much better.

British Virgin Islands. First giant flower of the year!

Bulgaria. Apparently this is made of neoprene? So with that and the rainbow stripes, the effect ends up being kind of “what if Midsommar, but at a rave.”

Cambodia. It feels weird to say “yep, standard Miss Universe warrior goddess costume” but basically that’s what this is. I do like the green-and-gold color palette, though.

Cameroon. “The baskets represent the nation’s agricultural movement.” Okay! I like how it’s giving “Valkyrie, but make it Global South,” though I’m not sure three entire country-shaped cutouts were necessary.

Canada. Another fine Miss Universe tradition: contestant who knows how to dance en pointe so she’s going to goddamn wear a costume that goes with pointe shoes, Or Else. Some nice beadwork! I would let her be the third, secret red swan in Swan Lake if that were a thing.

Cayman Islands. Sexy Blue Iguana is a fun concept! There’s a tail in back of the cape.

Chile. Sexy Atacama Desert is kind of abstract, as these things go, but I respect her choice to wear something she could walk in.

China. Hilariously, the announcer was like “This look... does not match the bio we were given, so I’m gonna wing it!” The fabrics are nice -- the satin drapes and moves well -- but the embellishments are kind of meh compared to some of the Miss China looks I’ve seen.

Colombia. This is a legit great Sexy Phoenix, but I need you all to know that her crown got turned a little sideways while she walked to the stage and she clearly knew it and just as clearly could do nothing about it, and I feel bad for laughing but it was funny.

Costa Rica. Sexy hummingbird! I think I’ve identified a recurring theme for this year. Corset and wings are made of recycled materials, which is nice, and they look well-made -- a lot of wing-based costumes tend to flop around or go crooked in motion, but not these.

Croatia. Oh, honey. This has big “my mom helped me make this the night before it was due” energy, unfortunately.

Curacao. “Meet the Fisherman’s Wife, a woman with a key role in Curacao’s fishing industry.” Okay? Honestly you could have left off the basket and said “this costume represents the beautiful marine life of Curacao” and I would have been like “yep, checks out” but now I have many follow-up questions.

Czech Republic. This is meant to be a Mucha-inspired look but uh. Mostly it’s just. beige. I’m starting to feel like all the other Slavic countries saw advance photos of Miss Ukraine and were like “let’s just phone it in this year, girls, there’s no point.”

Dominican Republic. “This costume recognizes the importance of birds in Dominican culture.” They did make it with silk feathers, which I appreciate, because it would have been very weird to use real ones with that mission statement. Also I like her headdress, and the giant feather fans are a good way to nod in the direction of wings without the hassle of actually wearing wings.

Ecuador. This looks good in motion! She did some dancing onstage that worked well, and there’s a great sculpted Inca head scowling on the back of her headdress. This is still only a few notches above voting Present, though.

El Salvador. “History of Currency,” which is definitely a concept! The Bitcoin wizard staff is sure something.

Equatorial Guinea. A perfectly nice entry in the “actual regional costume” category, but on the video I was like “oh, yikes, her headdress is really wobbly” and then it FELL OFF and I felt so bad for her.

Finland. “Spirit of the Forest”? Fuck off, that’s a prom dress. Boo.

I’m going to pause here so this readmore doesn’t get completely out of control. Shit, there are 50 more of these? Well, I have only myself to blame.

[chilahh16]

"I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime."

What would you do when you lost the very person that stood beside you all throughout everything? When things became shitty and the world seems to grapple you into failure anytime it gets.

Charles Leclerc was lost. The world seems to spin in black and white - toying with him as it continue its motion. The he now found no real happiness in the times where a smile and laugh should be there. He's a way into the dark and cannot find a light to guide him back.

He was no fool to not know when it all started - when everything came crashing down; and when he felt drowned. Who was he to forget when almost everyone that witness their story has yet to let go, and when everything reminded him of her. That beyond the talks of Formula 1, people still whisper of her name, the kindness, the warmth, and being the iconic woman that she is.

Everything's still etched in his memories. 2019 was a year where his hard work has paid off - all the sweat and tears poured in order to win on that fateful day was worth it. But it was her who made it all complete. Y/n L/n did not only cry for him as his car blazed along the finish line, she cheered for him loudly, repeating his name again and again as she jump in exhilaration. She yelled the words " He did it", "He's a race winner", and " He won, my Charles won". She ran towards parc ferme alongside his team exuberating elation and pride as he triumph. And as he exit his car, he ran towards them, hugging his team with her in it as they bask in his glory. But it was not the highlight of his win, it was when she guide his face-covered helmet toward her and kissed the place where his lips would be. They stood there, envelop in a bubble, as the circuit cheered for him. All Charles felt at that time was the pure burst of love he has for Y/n. He relish in the feel of her touch as her hands found their place on either side of his neck. It was not visible to others but Y/n saw the tears that ran down his cheeks as he stood victorious on that day's race. His eyes spoke volumes of what his quivering lips cannot and she smiled for him, understanding what he would like to convey.

" You're a race winner, Char. I am so proud of you." she whispered amongst the loud cheers but Charles heard her, causing his smile to widen.

" Thanks to you. I am here because you're with me. So, thank you for sticking by my side." he uttered though muffled by his racing helmet but, Y/n did not mind. She'll hear every single words coming from him as she finds his voice a cacophony of melody that somehow lulls her soul to calm.

" Go up there, Champ. Claim that top step." she urged as someone called Charles to the cool down room.

The hesitation was evident on those forest green orbs of his as he cling on her - hands tightly holding her in place. Gripping her waist and settling his face in the crook of her neck like his life depended on it. Y/n chuckled before she kissed the forehead of his helmet.

" I'll stay here so you can see me. You'll hear my voice cheering for you from that top step. Now go. You still have a trophy to get."

Reluctantly Charles let go as the determination in her eyes says everything. He walked backwards toward the room, eyes staring deep into hers as their distance widen. Even when the congratulatory pats and cheers echoed around him, his eyes never stray as he mouthed his declaration of love which she smiled at - his antics never failing to amuse her, before a fond look settled in her feature, answering him with utmost honesty and love.

' And I love you.'

It was after the celebrations that he was made aware of how proud and happy Y/n is of him winning. His teammates had teased him all throughout the night of how lucky he was. That no other driver has their woman jumping and cheering so loud that it can be heard from the grandstand. Charles can only smile and laugh to their stories but it was when Arthur showed him a video of Y/n hyping up and jumping inside his garage as he neared the finish line that he placed credit to the truthfulness of his teams statement. He truly is lucky to have her. And seeing how she is with everyone, doubled the love he has for the woman. He believed in God but is not one to pray. However, in that moment as he watched her walk towards him, an endearing smile set on her lips, he prayed that she'll stay beside him, always.

As he raced in his home circuit for the 6th time, it was her face that he sees. The conversations that they had before echoed in his mind as he pushed the car to its limit. To every turn, memories of her came and when he speed past the finish line, he saw her jumping proudly for him as her hands waved in the air knowing that he triumph not only in any race but in his home race. He exit his car and a wild smile showed as he raised his arms, further solidifying that he indeed won. He ran to his team clad in red and that is when his smile fell.

No longer was there a woman waiting beyond the barrier shouting his name and yelling as she proudly relish in his victory. No longer was there a kiss on his helmet nor the familiar warmth that came only with her. His first win in his home country did not taste as sweet as he had imagined before. Try as it may, she no longer stand beside him. A new figure occupied her space and no matter what he reasoned himself, he envy her. It is Y/n's rightful place, always has, always will be. But what is he to do?

The kiss he earned that day felt bitter as much as he would like to love it.

Charles indeed was right when he said he was stupid. Because looking at the now, he wish more than anything to once again hear her proudly cheer his name, see her jumping and exude happiness upon seeing him. He would of given anything just to get her back and see her with him as he came as the victor but, it has already been lost. That even attempting to follow her and get her back would prolly incur her wrath. Was it selfish to want her to be angry just so he could see and feel her again? Because he does not know what to do anymore. He had lost the woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life with. He had lost her. Lost her to death.

And as he stands on the top step that day, he let himself cry and crumble. With the country's anthem on the background, he remember his days with her. And as he raised the winner's trophy, his eyes did not linger on the people below, he stared through the sky hoping, praying that she can see him that day. It was a first that people of the world saw the vulnerability in Charles. Everyone know even without uttering anything. The win was for Herve and Jules but, it was Y/n's as well. It was hers and so much more.

Everyone realized, it may be that their love was fleeting but, it was a love of a lifetime. Hence, Charles will love her even when death parted them in this life. He'll continue loving her until they are together again. Because no matter what, she is for him as he is for her. Always.

[wisp-wandering]

For those of you who don't understand Taco’s complex character, think she's a straight up terrible person, or just want to know my view on her... this is the chapter for you! I will be going over analysis, psychology facts, and head cannons that align with her character.

Let's start with copy and pastes with Ideas I've already conveyed in other media's;

(This is me):

How come nobody here actually sees II in the light of a *REALITY SHOW*. A thing that's meant to bring out the worst in people? Like genuinely it makes me so frustrated that people can't see that. Characters like Steve Cobs/Walkie/Springy have no excuse, as they were never shoved into the environment. But the Gameshow was not only nonconsensual but offers 1 MILLION DOLLARS. in the light of 2011? THATS A LOT OF DAMN MONEY. most gameshows offer 10k, or 100k? 1 MILLION IS A LOT. Just to put it into perspective try to imagine the difference between 100k and 1Mil in marbles.  the human brain simply can't process that high of a number.

Onto the psychological effects. IT CAN PUT HIGH STRESS ON IT'S CONTESTANTS. and I'm just gonna say it right now. What Balloon, Trophy, and Taco did isn't that bad. LIKE I SWEAR. PSYCHOLOGICALLY IT MAKES SENSE FOR THEM TO USE STRATEGY LIKE THIS. The only thing I'll call Them out on was their rude comments and nature after the fact, but you also have to realize it's to exaggerate their negative antagonism towards the other contestants. In a game show like that it invokes behaviours that would otherwise not be part of their character. Trophy can be seen being a better person once not in the Gameshow. Cheesy was rude as shit until he wasn't in the Gameshow, Balloon reflected on his character when he wasn't in the Gameshow, Taco— oh! Would you look at that! Became better when she wasn't in a game show! Sure she acted shitty in some cases, but that was when money was still put on the line. I'm absolutely furious people can't realize that the Gameshow invokes that behaviour. Nobody cancels people from survivor when they act shitty. In fact, they Invited the shitty people TO PLAY AGAIN??? AND PEOPLE ROOTED FOR THEM??? People actually need to look at it from a bigger perspective.

Taco has conveyed the thing I've believed and tried to communicate on multiple occasions. THE GAMESHOW BRINGS OUT THE WORST IN PEOPLE!!! The only problem is that SHE DOESNT BELIEVE SHE HERSELF IS EFFECTED SIMILARLY. She's been berated and convinced she's a horrible person, and that she needs to act the way she does because that's who she is. Taco probably thinks she deserves what she's gotten, and was always too scared to confront Pickle directly. She probably thinks she needs to have circumstance around her change in order for her too aswell, considering how she wanted to go back with the Time Machine, but, when confronted by Mepad she denied it. I feel like the plot is pointing towards a situation where she tries to save everyone, and when confronted by Microphone she breaks down and curses herself out for being a horrible person, friend, and other things similar. Microphone and Pickle. Creating a situation where they show Taco that the game made her the way she was too. That she didn't have to be the villain.

Notice how Taco never blamed Mephone directly for the shortcomings of others? Sure she did say it was for his entertainment, but never that it was his fault. She blamed the game. Something NO OTHER VILLAIN HAS DONE. She taking account for her mistakes, THINKING ITS HER. And not stressful circumstances! She doesn't understand she's not a villain, She's just *human* (or object for that matter). A living breathing being. Mistakes don't make you the bad guy.

Also saying Taco has no will to make try and apologize for the sake of others is stupid too. She clearly wants to. She REALLY does. She's scared to hurt them, she's scared she will hurt the again.

(Spoilers for a Spider-Man no way home)

Its a similar trip to what happens at the end of Spider-Man NWH, she isn't going back because she thinks she's protecting them from herself. She genuinely believes she ruins everything she touches. She tried to do so by sabotaging the challenge!

Taco didn't really manipulate Microphone—??? I know what you're gonna say. "Ohh!! Wisp! Yes she did!!!" But— I mean... Rewatching it? If she is— it's... more of peer pressure than direct manipulation??? I mean. She never forced Microphone to do anything. Applauded her input... LET MICROPHONE LEAVE? There was no guilt tripping or alienation, Direct threats to Microphone and her friends. It was more so pressure about the game. Which was— probably Taco perceiving herself as still in the competition. Needing to out smart the others to get Microphone further. Taco seemed to admire Microphone's pacifist nature after a while. And I believe when she Attacked the aliens in ii14, she acted out of blind fear, like an unexpected twist in a challenge. You could tell her initial reaction wasn't malice, it was more of a natural response. She was more protecting Microphone than anything else. Trying to get her out as fast as possible.

I myself have been through a manipulative relationship, and... While I know all experiences aren't the same.

It doesn't feel malicious. Taco felt genuine. She wants to protect others from her own mistakes and herself. She's unknowingly putting others first! She doesn't even realize it! Taco is trying to be a villain only to mistakenly be good, and when she tries to be a hero, she's mistakenly bad... I feel bad for her. She doesn't understand she... Has it right now. It's sad...

What about the situation with balloon?

Well...

She tried to convince Mic to harm him, but never threatened Microphone or herself. Nor did she try to alienate balloon to make it more appealing. Taco pointed out a situation and gave a morally Grey solution. But she never forced Microphone to go with it, she just warned her of potential consequences.

People often mistake her strategy with manipulation. When... Taco didn't really manipulate anyone. She pretended, and provided input. Knowing actions have consequences from her own experience.

Taco is experiencing the "illusionary truth effect" otherwise known as "gaslighting":

(Online statements)

—...However, repetition itself should not serve as a signal of truth, since it does not add anything new to the conversation in terms of credibility. For this reason, the repetition bias is also called the "illusory truth effect"

the fact that repeated presentation of information or items typically leads to better memory for the material. The repetition effect is a general principle of learning, although there are exceptions and modifiers

In relationships, an abusive person may use gaslighting to isolate their partner, undermine their confidence, and make them easier to control. For example, they might tell someone they are irrational until the person starts to think it must be true.

It is a psychological FACT that if one, or other's repeatedly give you information, even if it's false, eventually your mind will begin to perceive it as true. It's why bullying can negatively effect someone, or even just simply saying, "hey fatty" as a joke. Even if you're the skinniest human being on the planet, If you or another says say it enough, the subconscious will inevitably perceive it as true, despite if you know it's false. Even something stupid, like, "The sky is red." Well, no. The sky is blue. You think. But, if someone were to bash that into your skull every day. Ranting on about how the sky IS RED. You're mind will betray your knowledge.

Everyone constantly talks about her in a bad light. Say she's horrible. A good for nothing liar. She's going to perceive it to be true in the end. And she has...

Saying Taco is nothing but a terrible person, and a villain just isn't true. She's an Anti hero, anti villain AT WORST. Not to mention her childish decisions and mind sets make her seem in her teen years, as per my head canons. That only makes her mind MORE malleable and vulnerable. Taco is a complicated Character. But that doesn't mean she's the worst human on the planet. Please, if you don't agree with what I've said, before you berate me, rewatch the show, or atleast look up the psychological effects and other such I included in this rant. I may add onto this in the future, so keep an eye out for a future Taco analysis.

Thank you for your time.

[cripplecharacters]

so, the posts on this blog about facial difference inspired me to make an oc with facial difference- specifically strabismus and a port wine stain. she's pretty much become one of my favourite characters to draw and develop, ive taken care to make sure she doesn't fall into shitty tropes. however, i have had one problem- in the world she lives in, rebels like her cover their face most of the time. ive been really struggling on how to design her mask/covering in a way that doesn't feel shitty, and doesn't feel like it's trying to cover her facial difference. and i know that technically it's not as bad if she's not the only character who wears a mask, but i still don't wanna push it, if you know what i mean? so it would be awesome if you could give suggestions on how i could handle her mask. here's a reference of her for. reference, and some ideas ive had for masks. thank you for taking the time, and for this blog in general!

[Image description: Traditional drawing of a light-skinned girl with pink straight hair, smiling. She has a large port-wine stain on the left side of her face, and her right eye goes inward. Around her are three headshot sketches;

first shows her in a bandana that goes over her nose with "bandana doesn't obscure FD but hides smile + necklace" written above, second shows a half-mask that covers only the right side of her face, with "early concept, feels tacky, shows port-wine stain but not strabismus :(", third shows a domino mask, with "domino mask, do I even have to explain? No-go" next to it. End image description.]

Hi!

I think that something close to the second one would actually be kinda fun (no irony or sarcasm). If we're talking about a story where everyone wears a mask, having the character with FD wear one that covers everything except for the FD is actually subversive! I never thought I would say that, but it does feel like it is.

Not sure how strict of a design should it be, but a diagonal - her bottom right to her top left - mask would be nice!

I tried to write down a detailed description of what I mean but it was coming out rather overcomplicated, so I hope you're okay with me doing a few demonstrative sketches; a diagonal and rather-silly option, an idea for the bandana with a drawn smile and the kind of tie that would show her necklace, and an idea for the half-mask but with an eye with strabismus painted on the mask.

So here are the suggestions! I haven't drawn in a while so my skills are kinda rusty, but I hope it conveys the concept! My personal favorite would be the first one - I know it barely counts as a mask but then again, in comics it's common that someone is unrecognizable when they wear a pair of glasses, so maybe it's not as farfetched haha.

The second one would be totally fine by my standards, but I'm assuming that her necklace has some kind of significance in the story, so maybe she could cross it at the back and tie it in the front instead for it to be more visible (or wear the necklace over it even?).

I think that doing something like on the third drawing above would be okay if there are also a lot of moments where her actual strabismus is shown. In general, I think that the idea of a character with a facial difference wearing a mask just to paint it on the mask is kinda silly, and I feel like it would fit her character. But for something like that to work, she would need to have the mask off often. If you choose to do that, I suggest your first time showing her to the viewer is with her mask off, both for the usual reasons I mentioned before but also because strabismus is often used as a gag in art. For me, seeing a character wear that kind of mask with no context would be kind of eye-rolling - but seeing a character with a crossed eye put on a mask with the same exact kind of eye, go and join their friends at doing rebel things? That's actually something new!

I enjoy that your character seems to be on the rather joyful and happy side, I like that :-) (smile emoji)

I hope this helps!

mod Sasza

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 8 Post-Watch Thoughts

I was gonna post thoughts as I went, but forgot, so here's hoping I can remember everything that happened in the episode.

- General comment: I love the more playful air of the intimate scenes this episode. There's no "graphic" NC scenes this ep, and instead Mame basically opts for fade-to-black for the couple we see initiated, but there's a significant increase in the playfulness between Rak and Mut, which is a very subtle but lovely bit of storytelling in my opinion. It demonstrates that what's happening is about more than the contract or the sex, but that they're becoming comfortable with each other.

- The father legit still confuses the fuck out of me. Like....does he actually want something. Does he just want to punish Rak by making him live a life alone because Rak chose his mother? Because that's what it seems like, and yeah shitty people are often just shitty, no deeper meaning, but seriously how can this man think Rak would have done anything else after he was such a garbage husband and father? I feel like if he tried at all to look at the series of events from Rak's perspective at all he'd be like "You know what, that's fair. I probably would have made the same choice."

-I've said this several times, but I like seeing Mut do little things to take care of Rak. I think it's good for Rak, because it shows him what the potential future could be. I also really liked the bit of internal dialogue we got at the opening of the episode about how mundane daily tasks, done in repetition are a way of showing care to those we cherish. I think that's just a really lovely sentiment.

-While I'm still mad at P'Vi, because all of her anxiety over Mook not realizing she's being flirted with could have been avoided if she was just honest. She's pushing Rak so hard to admit his feelings to himself, and even teasing him, but she can't confess to her crush either, so does she really have a leg to stand on? I realize that a lot of these choices are kinda done for the drama, but I feel like there were other options that might land better and wouldn't rely on P'Vi playing a bunch of games. Really, her just repeatedly confessing to Mook and Mook just passing it off as her being silly or not serious would have been a good option.

-Issues with P'Vi's deplorable choices in regards to wooing Mook aside, I did really like her convo with Rak this episode. I really like their friendship and how honest they are with each other. It's an important part of friendship. And while they're very honest and even blunt, it never feels like they're being cruel. Both actors did really well conveying the level of familiarity they would have, and how well they know each other's boundaries. They push and tease, but don't cross the line.

-I feel bad for Meena. Poor lamb. As precocious as she is, she is still just a little kid and shouldn't have ever been pulled into the adult concerns happening. The fact that Rak's father is so willing to use her shows exactly what kind of man he is, truly.

-Mut and his handling of Meena and Rak's dad showed a level of seriousness and maturity that's not unexpected, but is a good counterweight to his more fun-loving casual demeanor most of the time. We love a man that can do both. (Also, idk if you noticed, but the jeans this episode were showcasing the tushy excellently.)

-I've got mixed feelings on the whole jealousy scene and the foreplay-esque fight. It feels just so vaguely ooc to me, but this is original IP, so it's basically canon, so it can't be ooc. It honestly just checks off my bingo box for "poorly considered D/s dynamics portrayed". Watching it it felt like they were a couple doing a scene, but we as the audience weren't present for the pre-game discussion, you know? Maybe part of why it felt so odd is that it seems like Mame is trying to portray consent in a healthier way while at the same time feeding into that 'No" Kink she has and so the scene feels incongruous...idk.

-Truly the only real issue I have with this episode is the continuity of Rak's iPhone. When his father surprises him we watch the phone drop and the screen shatter in slow motion, clearly to a level that would make it unusable, but then after their talk he walks away actively calling Mut on the phone and it's clearly functional. Like this is not a deal breaker for me, but it is such an obvious break in continuity that I'm kind of surprised.

Okay, that's all I can think of. Two episodes left. I'm excited and also a bit sad to see the story end. Sidenote, do any of y'all feel like this show has rewatch potential? I've rewatched LITA & DSN a bunch, and LBC and TT once, and WP none at all, since their original release, but I'm not sure how I'll feel about rewatching Love Sea.

[dreamweaversfavsandthoughs]

Rick and Morty S7 Ep. 10: Fear No Mort

(A bittersweet end to a great season)

If you are not ready to conquer your fear of spoilers, go no further…

My Favs

Diane!

Overall, I’m pleased with how the writers handled the character of Diane and Rick’s interaction with her. They don’t portray either Diane or their marriage as flawless. There is definitely a bite to her personality and we see them have conflict like any married couple but there is still a lot of love and affection there, assuming Morty’s version of the relationship is accurate. It is certainly open to interpretation. In my mind, the only thing that was inaccurate is Diane’s disdain for her grandson. In actuality, I think she would have loved Morty to death and have absolutely spoiled him rotten as a grandmother should.

I also love that the writers confirmed that she was a scientist or was on the path to become one. She was definitely some sort of biologist, maybe a zoologist or a ornithologist. I don’t know about you but my heart went pitter-patter when Rick said her master’s thesis inspired him to create a ray to hear duck’s talk.

Lastly, I’d like to say that while I thought we might have somehow had the real Rick interact with the real Diane through some sort of sci-fi resurrection or afterlife break-in, I’m ultimately glad this is the work around the writers came up with. Anything else would have cheapened Diane’s death and Rick’s grief.

Rod Serling/Twilight Zone homage

Confession time. I’ve never seen the original Twilight Zone or the reboot, but I’m aware of the premise of the show and how it ties with this episode. I know I’m missing out and it’s on my list of shows to watch. Sometimes, I wish I could get a Night Person to watch all the television shows I don’t have time for in my waking hours.

Tide and Time

Really enjoy the newest Ryan Elder song. He is incredibly skilled at finding or creating the perfect soundtrack to convey the emotion we need for a particular episode.

Morty’s fear of relying on Rick

I will expound on this further in “My Thoughts”

Rick choosing Morty

Not only does he do it once, but twice. Once in Morty’s fear simulation and once in the real world.

Not my Fav

Product Placement

I know capitalism has got to capitalism, but could we please leave ads for shitty restaurants out of my story of a grandfather and his grandson navigating the human condition in a infinite, nihilistic universe that is incapable of caring! Thanks.

Besides, the fear hole should have been at a Shoney’s

My Thoughts

Morty’s codependency, fear of change, and learning to not live for the dead but to live for the living.

Seasons 6 and 7 has seen a gradual shift from Rick being a drunk asshole who is incapable of creating any real attachments because there are infinite versions of everyone (except for the one person he most cares about) to someone who is less drunk, ever so slightly less of an asshole, but a little more willing to open his heart to the version of his family he has chosen to live with. Unmortricken closed the chapter on Rick’s life purpose of getting revenge on Rick Prime and now with Fear No Mort we see Rick resist the temptation of clinging to the past and choose the grandson living in the present. The finale doesn’t give us much to chew on in regards to what is in store next for Rick, but in some way, I think the show is taking a bit of a pause on Rick as it shifts to Morty.

As the twist reveals, this episode focused exclusively on Morty’s psyche and his recognition and fear of his codependency with Rick. I recommend if you haven’t, to rewatch the episode a second time with this knowledge in tow. What sticks out to me is the antagonist relationship he has with Diane. They never speak to or acknowledge each other. I don’t think she even makes eye contact with him and in the scene at the school play, Diane belittles him and delivers an ultimatum to Rick. Choose her or choose Morty. Maybe the show wants us to take this literally, and it is really Diane he resents and that Rick will never choose the family in the present. Rick will never choose Morty. In my mind, I have a more metaphorical interpretation. I think Diane is symbolic of a future Rick that is, at last, happy and mentally healthy. Morty fears that if Rick gets better he will need his grandson less and that scares the shit out of him. He can’t imagine a life without Rick by his side, even envisioning a future where Rick follows him into adulthood, de-aging himself so he’s around forever. Both interpretations work and they both reveal the incredibly unhealthy mindset that Morty harbors.

We see a sort of ships passing in the night as Morty accepts that Rick will never see him as irreplaceable and he should just rely on himself at the same time Rick is finally ready to claim this Morty and only this Morty as his grandson and a legitimate part of his family on equal footing as Diane and Beth C-137.

The finale doesn’t give us much insight into what we might focus on in season 8, but I suspect it might be more Morty-focused. We have seen Morty start to develop some independence in the past, but it would be nice to see Morty develop an identity outside of Rick while also learning that Rick truly sees him as part of his family.

Also, the boy desperately needs some friends his age.

[julemmaes]

Temporary Fix, 1

Nesta Archeron x Cassian modern au

Kinktober, semi-public sex

A/N: I'm only going to say this is for B and good lord, also I haven't reread shit so if you find typos and things don't add up mind your business

Word count: ~7.3k words

She reached out her hand to introduce herself to the umpteenth white man in his sixties that she met that evening. She immediately wondered if the fact that the old man wasn't telling her his name—but was instead just stroking her hand in a revolting way as he stared into her eyes—was because he assumed she could distinguish him by looks alone, or if he didn't think she was clever enough to remember it afterwards and deemed it useless. Or, yet again, whether he didn't think she was important enough to know such a thing. As if, to satisfy every desire that shone behind that man's eyes, she needed no further introduction.

It had been that same dance for the past two hours.

The room was swarming with bigwigs and whatnots tonight and as she glanced around to survey the mumbling throng, she found herself suppressing a grimace of disgust, which she had had to hide several times in her goblet of non-alcoholic sparkling wine. The amount of women way younger than her in the arms of men well into their fifties was spine-chilling.

Nesta could only pray that all those girls were there at will, perhaps waiting for one of these old pigs to die so that their husbands' big fat inheritances would end up in their pockets. It was the only hope that hadn't made her bristle at such arrogance and impertinence.

One thing that hadn't helped her shitty mood at all was the fact that Eris had brought her to that gala with the intention of showing her off as his girlfriend. But the deal the two of them had agreed on before she accepted his invitation was something else entirely. He would introduce her to the CEO of their company and she would be at his side all evening. They hadn't mentioned anything that had to do with their relationship.

And Nesta was quite the scrupulous one.

"You shouldn't have left that detail out of our conversation," she'd told him in a low tone when Eris had cornered her after their first interaction with one of the new interns, in which he'd flaunted her as one of the many trophy wives in the lobby. "If you want to introduce me as your girlfriend or escort, you'll have to do more than simply get me to talk to Nehemia Ytger. You'll have to secure me a seat at the table."

She had raised her stakes so high knowing full well that Eris didn't have enough power in their department to even suggest such a thing to Ytger. He'd simply gritted his teeth and nodded, then flashed a grin that hadn't reached his eyes and offered her his arm. Nesta had breathed out a short, dry laugh that conveyed just how much she didn't want to be seen in close contact with him.

It was bad enough she'd agreed to do this. She wasn't going to be an accessory to another man. Not again.

She was pretending not to hear what her two colleagues were discussing, letting her eyes roam over the crowd, looking disinterested. There was no reason to let this Nobody know that Nesta was aiming for the same job the man had been talking about for the past seven minutes.

She glanced up at the large decorative clock painted on the wall of the abandoned station where their firm had decided to hold its yearly party. Twenty-five minutes to eleven. It had been far too long since they had arrived and still no sign of their boss.

Her eyes fell back on the guests, desperately searching for that stunningly beautiful face that Nesta had had the honour of seeing in real life a few times.

If there was one thing Nesta was firmly sure of, it was that Nehemia Ytger was the most fascinating human being she had ever met. She had been speechless, having only the decency to give her a small nod in greeting before the woman left, a sly smirk on her dark lips, as if she knew perfectly well the effect she had on every person in the room.

She'd regretted not approaching her willingly on multiple other occasions, not telling her about her ideas that would surely help their company grow, but her brain had short-circuited every damn time, distracting her from her purpose. Tonight was going to be different.

Or so she'd believed.

It felt like slamming into a wall.

He stood there, his long, stiff and visibly muscular legs, under the black fabric of his fancy slacks made him look like some kind of soldier. Motionless, attentive, it was as if he was bored in the midst of all these people, but there was something extremely attractive about the way he didn't even seem to be breathing. That tiny detail made the air in her lungs seize up, as if Nesta were afraid that by inhaling, by moving even a muscle, he would become aware of her presence.

She traced every line of his body, from the tips of his opaque shoes to his slender hips to his broad, imposing shoulders. She released a shuddering breath at the sight of his mighty arms crossed over his chest, his hands hidden in the fabric of his dark shirt. Unlike everyone in that room, he wasn't wearing a suit, but rather what looked like a uniform, something Nesta had seen security guards at the entrance to the building wear.

She couldn't get a good look at his face and had to stop her legs from taking three steps to the right, just to see if she could catch a glimpse of what she knew would be a heavenly sight.

The man's back was to her and Nesta nearly looked up at the sky, thanking God for that small grace as she admired the way the bottoms wrapped around his ass perfectly.

He turned his head slightly to the left, showing her a pronounced jawline, but she didn't have the quickness to look up fast enough, that he had already turned back to whoever he was protecting that night.

At that point, with the radio in plain view attached to the belt on his hip and the earpiece Nesta had managed to make out in the middle of his short dark hair, there was no doubt that he was there as someone's bodyguard.

"What about her? Is she your girlfriend?"

The unknown man's voice brought her back to reality. Her head snapped towards Eris and Nesta grimaced in disgust, squaring him from head to toe. A surprised laugh escaped her control.

"Fuck no," she whispered into her glass, turning back to the bodyguard as she sipped her drink. And then, without even deigning the two men a goodbye, Nesta strode for her target.

She pushed her way through the crowd, keeping her gaze fixed on him, and when he finally turned around, her steps faltered. Nesta was not a particularly religious woman, but in that moment she definitely felt blessed. The features of his face were elegant, sharp, and the hazel eyes made him look even more serious than he appeared.

He squared his shoulders and brought a hand to his face. It was at that moment that Nesta saw the deep scars that stretched across the back of his hand, over his fingers, and continued under the sleeve of his shirt, on his wrist.

She didn't have time to process that information when the tip of her heels caught on her long dress and she began to fall forward. She clutched the glass between her fingers, hoping with all her might that the fall wouldn't result in a trip to the ER and a few stitches, but she never found out, because an arm wrapped around her waist and she never touched the floor.

She stared at the tiles with her heart in her throat and her breath caught wholly in her chest when a warm, melodic voice whispered in her ear.

"Watch your step, sweetheart."

Something in Nesta awoke at the sound of those words.

She turned her head slightly, to see who had saved her from making an ass of herself, branding her for life, and her eyes met only a massive chest covered in a white button down shirt. She bent her neck back and-

Oh.

Oh, God.

She stared at him for the longest time, trying to comprehend how the man in front of her could look so charming and elegant, and rough-hewn and simply breathtaking at the same time.

His black hair reached just above his shoulders, brushing them with every slightest movement and a single wavy strand cut across his forehead, falling precisely in between eyes so bright, the colour of wood and soil. He had a faint scar just above the bridge of his nose, reddened at the edges, and another one that cut through his left eyebrow.

His lips parted undetectably for anyone in a metre distance, but Nesta, who somehow only then noticed she was pressed against the hard and muscled body of the stranger, heard the sigh he made. She felt, under her fingers, his chest heave with looseness and something else she couldn’t really pinpoint in that moment.

She was still staring at his lips when they curved in a sardonic smile that threatened to make her fall to her knees if he only uttered the words.

“You good?”

It felt like someone had poured molten lava on her bare back, where his hand was pressing softly, right in the middle of her shoulder blades. His voice was like calloused fingers brushing her very core.

Nesta hoped she didn’t look as stunned as she felt.

She nodded, swallowing audibly, casting her eyes away for a split second, before bringing them back to his face. She took a step back, and then another, not really trusting her body so near to this stranger’s. It was dangerous enough that she missed his touch the instant his fingers slipped away from her skin.

The man squared his shoulders and Nesta noticed only in that instance the swirls and intricate lines inked on his skin. The tattoos covered the entirety of his forearms, crawling beneath the fabric of his shirt in a way that simply asked Nesta to follow the pattern until she discovered what was hidden under the sleeves. There was a single twirl of black that snaked around his wrist and ringed his pointer finger.

Her youngest sister had once told her that wearing a ring on your index finger reflected confidence, self-esteem and leadership qualities. She could only imagine how big this man’s ego must have been if he had it tattooed.

“So,” he drawled, calling her attention back to his lips. Nesta rolled her shoulders back, trying to rein in her body’s responses to him. He brought a hand to his face, rubbing the stubble on his cheek, and he turned in the direction she’d come from, nodding his chin towards the crowd. “Why did you ditch your date? He doesn’t look half bad.”

She scoffed, trying to cover her real reaction. If her mother hadn’t taught her how to master the art of controlling her emotions in the last thirty years of her life, her jaw would have been on the floor, her cheeks red like her lips.

He’d been looking at her.

He must have known she’d been aiming for that bodyguard.

She glanced at the man’s way, noticing he had moved somewhere near the buffet, keeping close to a tiny woman in a grey dress, probably his client. The woman looked familiar, but Nesta couldn't place where she’d seen her before.

When she looked back at the Greek bronze in front of her, he was smiling knowingly, nodding his head as if he could read her mind.

Nesta opened her mouth to speak, but her throat was dry all of a sudden and she found herself gaping like a fish.

“Yeah, I kind of noticed you were going for Azriel over there,” he said. “I had planned on waiting until you’d approached him so I could hit on you with the excuse that he’s working, and I’m not, but I got lucky and you fell straight into my arms. No effort needed.”

She stared at him, clutching the chalice. He stared right back at her.

He knew the bodyguard. Personally, if he called the other man by name. Colleagues, perhaps.

“Your date, what was wrong with him?” He seemed genuinely interested about that particular matter.

Nesta refrained from grimacing and took a sip of her drink. “He’s not my date.” He’s not my anything, she wanted to add. “I was just getting tired of people-watching.”

His eyebrows jumped up for a split second, as if surprised she’d actually replied and then a pleased smile appeared. The shock in his features disappeared immediately and he leaned forward a bit, getting close enough to her that she got a sniff of his cologne.

White musk. Burnt wood. Something sweet, argan and vanilla.

Her tights clenched together.

“People-watching has become my entire personality in the past few years.” He whispered, as if letting her in on a secret.

“How come?” She asked in an equally quiet voice.

“I’m a bodyguard.” Bingo. “Not tonight though. Tonight I came as a plus one.”

“Oh.” This time, she couldn't hide the disappointment, not even in the slightest movement of her shoulders, who betrayed her real thoughts as they sagged. Controlling my emotions, my ass, she thought.

He flashed her a grin, straightening again. “Don’t sound so sad about it, I was my brother’s.”

Nesta nodded, seeing the clear opening for what it was—an invitation. She looked him in the eyes and the glimmering heat she saw there gave her enough courage to shoot her shot.

“Does that mean I can offer you a drink?”

He chuckled, his lips curling at the corners, “I gotta say, I’m impressed.”

“What for?” She asked, trying to keep a straight face.

“I thought I’d have to work harder to get laid tonight.” He looked at her pointedly, waiting for a rejection, probably. But Nesta had been on her way to approach his friend with that same exact intent and this man in front of her… yes. Nesta wanted him. And there was no reason to pretend.

She glanced at the bar, remembering for one split second why she had accepted to attend the ball in the first place and she frowned for a moment.

“What is it?” He asked, gently skimming his fingers down her arm.

Shivers went down her spine.

She cleared her throat. “Do you happen to know if Nehemia Ytger will be here tonight?”

The man looked confused for a second, but shook his head. “I heard she won’t make an appearance. Contrary to what she’s been saying.”

Nesta smiled into her drink then, whispering to herself. “Change of plans, girl.”

He turned towards the bar, offering her his arm as he glanced at her over his shoulder, “So, about that drink?”

She smirked, walking right past him, leading the way and lifting a finger above her side. She motioned him to follow her and she was pleased to hear the deep chuckle that little act earned her. A warm and large hand posed itself on the small of her back as the stranger stalked behind her.

She reached the crowd of people waiting for their turn, making those slimy men part as she got closer. It might also have had to do with the threatening and hulking figure at her side.

Putting down her empty chalice and placing both hands on the counter, Nesta waved down the bartender. Her dearest friend grinned wildly when she noticed her—and the man standing next to her.

As Emerie tiptoed to her, dancing behind the bar, Nesta huffed a laugh.

“What can I get for you, beautiful lady?” Emerie asked, propping an elbow right next to her fingers and getting dangerously close to her face. A question sparkling in her brown eyes. Who is this man?

Ignoring the dozens of other guests complaining she couldn't skip the line, Nesta grinned wider, and shrugged. “I’d love another chalice of champagne, please. And for my friend here, he’ll get…” She trailed off, looking at him.

“Oh, I’ll have a whiskey. Neat. Thank you.” He flashed a white smile to her friend. Emerie arched an eyebrow at that and spared a glance in Nesta’s way, her eyes jumping back to him right away, scanning his body. Nesta saw the moment this man got the Emerie Stamp of Approval and knew her phone would blow up with texts from both her best friends when she got back home that night.

“Right to you.”

With Emerie gone to pour their drinks, Nesta suddenly felt overwhelmed by the man’s presence again. His fingers had started tracing lines at the bottom of her spine, following the seams of her backless dress.

She hoped he couldn't see the goosebumps rising on her arms in the dim light of the room. She was struggling not to look his way, but the rough calluses on his fingertips were throwing her off her feet.

What was the matter with her? Sure, Nesta hadn't been fucked in a long time, but she had never felt so betrayed by her own body as she did at that moment. She was succumbing so quickly to the touch of a man whose name she didn't even know.

Mindless of her not to ask immediately, but now it seemed too late to pop the question.

She was keeping her gaze fixed on Emerie taking orders from others when he pressed closer, thrusting his front against her hip in the lightest of ways. His broad shoulders covered her view of the back of the bar and with as much ease as she could muster, she looked up at him.

With both arms resting on the countertop, her breasts thrust out right below her chin, the position forcing her to lean her head back to get a good look at his face while her ass jutted out behind her.

Nesta knew she was beautiful, attractive, but there was something about the look he was giving her… as if he couldn't move his eyes from her form.

She didn't know if any of her exes had ever looked at her like that.

She could feel the blood coursing through her veins, pumping noisily in her brain. In her chest. She could feel the jolts his touch was sending down her body—the same effect showing in his body as well, in the almost imperceptible pauses his fingers took each time Nesta drew a breath.

They looked at each other for an interminable moment, and when he seemed about to speak, Emerie interrupted them, breaking the fiery tension they had created.

Her friend placed the chalice in front of her. “Bubbly liquid courage for Nes and neat whiskey for,” she stopped herself, realising she had no name for the stranger, but recovered quickly and added, “…you, handsome.”

At that, he cracked a smile, probably having already caught up with the fact they knew each other. He thanked Emerie for the drink, “It’s Cassian.”

Nesta tasted the name on her tongue before whispering it. His eyes snapped to hers and she flushed.

He gave her a slight nod, smiling. “Yes, and you… Nes? Is it short for Vanessa?”

The nickname she only reserved for her closest friends and family sounded like a prayer coming from his lips.

She dared a look in her friend’s direction and saw Emerie gaping as she walked backward from them. Her expression was conveying everything she couldn't say. Not even his name, you slutty girl.

“It’s Nesta,” she forced out, sipping her champagne. “Nes is only for my friends.”

He thrust his hand towards hers, smirking broadly. “It’s a pleasure. And let’s hope I get to call you that, by the end of the night.”

“All mine.” She shook it assuredly, trying to regain some composure. “And don’t get too ahead of yourself now.”

Cassian leaned on the counter fully, swirling the whiskey in his glass, and chuckling deeply, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“So,” she started, “you’re a bodyguard. Who do you work for? If I may.”

“Amren Wraith.”

Recognition dawned on her and her lips parted. Holy fuck.

Nesta perked up at that, searching the room for her bosses and colleagues. She looked down at her heels, replaying the name in her mind, assessing whether what was shaping up to be an unworldly night of sex was worth risking her position in the firm.

She brought up her hands in between them, spilling some of her champagne. Cassian rose to his full height, towering over her once again.

“Listen, Cassian,” she paused, really looking at him. She was starting to feel cornered, claustrophobic. Her department, her team specifically, had been trying to acquire part of Wraith&Co shares for months now. Nesta was prominently involved in this transaction. If the man in front of her had been sent by someone from the countervailing party to spy on their next steps and she let something slip, she would be fired on the spot.

Not to mention the legal fallout.

Cassian frowned at her apparent uneasiness, taking a step back, “I don’t know what’s happening, but you look kinda pale, you okay?”

Nesta’s thoughts were swarming in her mind, clouding her judgement.

He put down his glass, “I can leave, if that’s what you want me to do.”

“No!” She said, way too eager to keep him close.

His frown only grew deeper even as a hint of delight washed over his features.

“I mean, no, stay,” she sighed, pinching her nose. What was she doing? “Just, we’re not allowed to talk about our jobs. Or, at least, no discussing any details of what you heard during meetings and no asking me anything about any of your boss’ current transactions. Okay?”

Cassian’s eyes widened in understanding and his jaw clenched. He nodded once, “Sure. No talking about our jobs.”

Nesta didn’t seem convinced.

“I couldn't even I wanted to. Which, I don’t, by the way. And I signed an NDA. As I’m sure you did.” He leaned in closer, daring grazing her arm. When he spoke, his words dripped with sincerity and something else Nesta couldn’t quite place. His gravel-like voice melted her core when he breathed out, “And trust me, talking is the last thing I wanna do right now. I have at least five other activities I’d like for us to indulge in tonight that involve no talking.”

Arousal flooded her body.

Nesta swallowed, taking a large gulp of her drink. She gave a curt nod and then rolled her shoulders for what seemed to be the thousandth time.

Cassian eyed her with scepticism and glanced to the side for a split second, like he was considering fleeing the scene. Nesta had probably scared him off with the little act she’d just pulled.

After a few beats of silence, when Nesta was sure she was about to be rejected by the hottest man she’d ever seen, Cassian said, “so, you’re not from here, are you?”

She shook her head, clicking her tongue once, trying to rein in the contentment. “No, I’m from an infinitely small coastal village in the South.”

“And you moved for work?” 

“To study. There is little to nothing in my city’s vicinity.” 

He nodded, “I’ve never been to the South. Closest I got to there was Adriata.”

“Were you born in Velaris then?” 

“Infinitely small village in the Myrmidons,” Cassian replied quickly, repeating her words. “My mother and I moved to the Northern Islands, in the mountains, when I was four. I settled in Velaris when I was around fifteen?”

Something came to her mind then. 

“How old are you?”  

He sipped his whiskey, hissing at the pungent flavour.  “Thirty-two.”

Nesta hummed appreciatively, downing the rest of her drink. “I’m about to turn thirty.”

“Oh, when’s your birthday?” 

As he asked her a plethora of questions she really didn’t care about answering, he was circling the edge of his glass, making her mind run wild with ideas. What those fingers could do to her.

“January 21st.”

He chuckled. “You really meant the about to, ‘lright,” he said referring to the imminent date. “Do you have any plans for the big thirties?”

Nesta lifted a shoulder, looking up at him through her lashes. “Probably get wasted with my friends and dance the night away.”

His interest seemed piqued at that. More so than what he’d shown so far. 

“You like dancing?”

“Very much so,” she murmured. 

Cassian turned towards the dance floor on the other side of the vast room, where couples of all ages were being entertained by the string quartet. Nesta noticed with no little annoyance that he had yet to finish his whiskey. When he too seemed to realise this, he stared at her for three long seconds, before gently taking her hand in his.

"Would you do me the honour of dancing with me?"

She could not deny that the question had caught her off guard. Whatever slow dance her colleagues were doing, it was not the kind of dancing Nesta had been referring to up to that moment.

Of course, nothing had ever stopped her from enjoying a waltz in a crowded hall, but she had never expected the rugged bodyguard who was stealing her every thought to be able to perform that sort of dance.

Nesta simply nodded. She linked her fingers with his and let him sweep her to the other side of the hall. 

They waited by the side for the band to wrap up the song, to catch on the beats and melody. He was keeping a protective arm around her waist and eyeing the other dancers as one would a flock of birds at sunset. She faltered at the strength of his emotions then.

He seemed to be lost in thought, like he was remembering something he didn’t want to. 

She was about to tell him it was okay if he didn’t want to dance anymore, feeling uncharacteristically sympathetic, but Cassian drew a tight breath in and his eyes found hers, hitting her straight in the chest.

His hand sweetly clutched hers and he stepped forward.

Whatever doubt and worry she had disappeared the moment his hand fell to her side and he pulled her into his personal space, leading them in the throng of people swarming the dance floor. 

Nesta soared as his eyes clashed with hers. Hunger and passion, pure heat pooled in her body at the feel of his hard chest under her hand. 

Cassian spun her and she almost smiled, not having had this much fun in so long. He knew his way around.

As the music grew more insistent, erratic—their movements with it—Nesta found herself counting down the seconds to when they would leave this place.

She knew people couldn’t read minds, but she felt like he was doing just that as he twirled her around, his thumb brushing her back. She unwillingly arched into his embrace and his lips skimmed her cheek, testing the waters for a kiss Nesta was dying to get. 

Admittedly, Cassian had no need for mind-reading, her body was saying everything already. His own betraying his intention by the second.

His breathing was gradually becoming more ragged, matching her unsteady heartbeating. 

After the third spin, her heel caught in her dress. She tripped into his chest, but she recovered quickly as he took all her weight and whipped her around.

Nesta couldn’t shift her gaze from his throat as he swallowed down air. 

Cassian was looking at her, she felt his eyes like scorching flames on her skin, but she couldn’t bring herself to do the same, too scared her emotions would be written all over her face if she only dared a glance his way. 

He suddenly dipped her back, following in the steps for this specific dance and when she pushed up again, her head was impossibly closer to him. His breathing was tickling her ear when he whispered, “You look beautiful, Nesta.”

Her heart skipped a few beats.

She was going to die here, she thought as the instruments seemed to sing to them, the fast tempo only making it harder for her to keep up with him. 

His grip on her hand tightened and Nesta’s head spun. The one posed on her hip felt like he was holding on for dear life, like he was afraid she might vanish if he let go.

They started twirling, her gown swallowing his legs as well, their bodies becoming one as he held her through this last momentum. 

The music came to an end with an abrupt stop, and Nesta found herself gasping for air, both hands on his heaving chest now. The hand he’d kept on her waist had slipped to the lower of her back, drawing her closer to him. The other cradled her face as if he was a man on the brink of death and was just waiting to drink life from her lips. 

Her head tipped back as his nose brushed against hers and the understanding she saw behind his eyes had them both fleeting the hall. Hand in hand.

They were nearly running through the crowd, towards where Nesta had no idea. She just knew she needed to get her lips on this man’s body. To feel his on hers.

To taste that mouth. 

"The upstairs toilets usually go unused," he threw over his shoulder, looking directly into her eyes to make sure she was on board with where he planned on ravaging her.

Nesta nodded, throat dry, "I don't care." 

And she really didn't. If somebody heard them, saw them, she didn't care. She just needed to put her hands on him. 

She ran after him up the elegant, wide stairs and she might have even appreciated how nicely decorated they were if it weren't for the distracting throb between her legs and the sizzling hot glances he was throwing at her.

They were climbing flight after flight, up to the fourth floor, where a fancy balcony overlooked the immense ballroom and a few people chatted, sipping from their chalices. 

They completely ignored the glares they were receiving from everyone and higher they went, until the stairs ended and the corridors seemed vacant. 

"This way," his voice sounded drastically rougher than before, as if he couldn't control his need. As if he, too, was about to lose the last shred of his dignity and take her right there in the middle of the room.

He dragged her to a secluded hall and then down a narrow passage that she would have never even seen if it weren't for him, and while in any other situation the research would have killed the mood, Nesta was only growing more aroused by the second.

Cassian suddenly stopped in front of a door and turned, her hand still clutched in his, looking at her like a starved animal. His eyes shone with something dangerous and Nesta took a step forward.

She was done waiting. 

She didn't have to get on her tiptoes to reach his face, her hands slipping on his chest, feeling his breathing hitch, and up to cup his jaw as his own slid to her waist, bringing her closer. 

She huffed, delighted, as he bent his head low and drew a path on her cheek with his nose. His shuddering exhale lit her body on fire. 

His lips brushed against her—the softest caress and the dirtiest sin. 

"Please," she begged. 

"Take me," he whispered. 

Nesta crashed her mouth on his, breathing from his lungs, moulding her body to fit the shape of his. Cassian let her push him against the door and squeezed her hips, letting her feel the hard ridge in his tight pants.

She ran her fingers down the back of his neck, gripping the roots of his long hair, pulling him harder against her. 

He grunted, nipping at her lips. 

Her mouth parted and her tongue slipped out to taste his. The sweetest whimper left her throat, echoing in her kiss and Cassian's hold on her tightened.

Nothing had ever felt this good. Never in her life had she experienced something so deadly wicked. 

She thrust her chest against his and his head hit the door behind him as he came up for air and stared down at her with hooded eyes—his lips swollen and glistening with her gloss. 

Nesta decided right then she was gonna have the first round. No matter what, she was gonna suck the life out of him before he had a chance to do the same.

No one should have been allowed to be this fucking breathtaking just existing. 

She reached for the handle under his arm and opened the bathroom door, pressing a hand to his collarbone and clutching his shirt in her fingers to pull him back to her once they were inside. 

His mouth was on hers again and his hands were everywhere, encasing her ribs and going higher until his fingers cradled her breast, kneading what she'd been desperate for him to touch.

He swiftly took her purse and launched it somewhere where it wouldn't bother them. Nesta couldn't give a single fuck.

She moaned, but his left hand found its place in her hair and didn't let her get far, forcing her to stay in the kiss. 

She let her touch roam his body, pulling at the bottom of his button down, to free the hem from his pants and slid her hands under it, raking her nails on his abs. 

His muscles contracted, his teeth biting gently on her lips. His chuckle came out husky as he broke away from the kiss, tracing a line of open mouthed ones to her jaw, "I fucking love this song." 

Nesta hadn't even noticed there had been music, but while her eyes fluttered open and he pulled closer to the sinks and mirror, the soft beat of a Black Keys' song rang through the room.

And I'm bound to fall, bound to fall, for you.

He took advantage of her momentary distraction and moved them to the cold marble sink. She didn't bat an eye as he lifted her and placed her on the surface. He spread her legs, taking position in between them and engulfing her thighs with his huge hands. 

Nesta's breath came bubbly as giddiness overtook her while he ran the tip of his fingers across her thigh tattoo. 

The dress she was wearing did little to conceal the complex design inked in her skin and Cassian seemed entranced by the flowers and leaves. 

His eyes slowly rose to her face, his finger trailing a path from her hand to her shoulder, up her neck, pressing on her pulse point. 

He cupped her cheeks and kissed her deeply, licking and biting and sucking. Giving and taking, taking, taking.

Nesta was losing her goddamn mind.

She couldn't keep her hands to herself and as he drew her soul from her body, she palmed him. His movements halted for a second, his mouth gaping on hers, his eyes wide open staring into hers. 

And then he was back in full force and Nesta was unfastening his belt, unbuttoning his pants, pulling the zip down.

His grip suddenly shifted to her legs again, higher, closer to where she was now aching with need. 

His thumb hooked under the lace of her thong and pulled back, snapping it. 

"Can I take these off?" He rasped.

Nesta's smile was evil, "I wanted to do the honours." 

Cassian's pupils dilated to the point where his eyes turned black and then he nodded once, taking a step back, his hands up in pretend defeat. A stupidly handsome grin splitting his face. 

"By all means, be my guest, sweetheart." 

Nesta huffed a laugh and hopped off the counter, gathering her hair and pulling them back over her shoulders. She licked her lip and left a peck on the corner of his mouth before falling gracefully to her knees. 

Cassian's hands found her jaw immediately, as if he couldn't keep from touching her. 

As she made quick work of his pants and pulled them down, he swiped his thumb on her bottom lip. 

"Open up, baby," he commanded.

Nesta obeyed, letting her tongue slide under his finger and closing her lips around it. She sucked on it, giving the poor man a preview of what was to come. 

She kept on savouring the moment, caressing his thigh like he'd done her, teasing the shit out of him whenever her fingers reached under the hem of his boxers.

She tried not to look at the bulging erection tenting right in front of her face, but it was impossible not to notice how big it was.

They never looked away from each other and the arousal glinting in his eyes made her shiver with something unfamiliar. She loved it.

His thumb popped out of her mouth when he pulled it from her and jerked his head forward. 

"I can't anymore, take me out," Cassian sighed, out of breath. 

Nesta couldn't either and she finally let herself look somewhere else as his hands tied in her hair, one on top of her head, the other on the nape of her neck.

Noticing the goosebumps that broke out on her skin, Cassian chuckled. 

"You liking this, uh?" He asked, his fingers fisting her hair tighter. "Oh, you're loving this."

She tried to nod, but his grip was too tight. She patted his hip lightly and he loosened it a bit, only enough for her to move closer to his still covered cock.

Nesta palmed him through the fabric, and at the first sharp intake of breath from him, she was reborn. She started kissing him, licking him, moving slowly following his silent commands. 

"I thought," Cassian grumbled, visibly struggling to contain himself. He swallowed, "I thought I told you to take me out."

"You've never been taught that patience is a virtue?" 

Her voice was just as strained. She was torturing both with this little act she was putting up.

"Fuck patience, I need to be in you." 

Nesta whined at the words, her core clenching. 

"Fine," she whispered. 

She gripped the elastic of his underwear and pulled it down to his ankles. 

His cock sprung free, swollen and ready for her, leaking pre cum from the tip with all the teasing she'd put him through. 

The instant her fingers closed around the hard length of his, Cassian cursed under his breath, hips thrusting forward in a lame attempt to make her move.

She started massaging him, twisting her wrist while she blew on the glistening head. Nesta locked eyes with Cassian as she licked the sensitive underside of his cock and closed her lips around him, slowly taking him inside her mouth. 

"Good fucking lord," his eyes rolled in the back of his head and his shoulders shook with the strain of holding back. 

Nesta sucked her cheeks in, working him with her hand as she started bobbing her head. Her other hand went to his balls and the loud groan she received in return made her moan around him.

What happened next, Nesta wasn't expecting.

Cassian pulled her close to him—so far that her nose brushed his navel and she gagged on his impressive shaft—and stepped forward, forcing her back against the bottom cabinets under the sink.

Her head would've struck the marble surface hadn't it been for his hand, now splayed like a protective glove on her.

"Fuck, sorry," he pulled back, looking down at her with a ravaged expression. His eyes were haunted, like he was too lost in his pleasure to really know what was happening. "Was that too much?"

Nesta looked at him, breathed through her nose, and smelled his scent. Her nipples were rubbing against the now seemingly rough fabric of her dress and she could feel the wetness drenching her panties. 

She needed him to finish just as much as he did.

"Fuck my mouth as you please."

Cassian moved faster than she could've anticipated. Keeping his hand on her back of her head, the other went to her jaw and forced her mouth open.

He slid into her easily, and Nesta made no opposition as he started ruthlessly fucking her mouth. 

Her eyes watered as she tried to remember to breathe through her nose, but the utter satisfaction on his face as he watched her made it difficult for her to recall her own name.

"Fuck, sweetheart, yes."

Nesta moaned at his sounds, whimpering and moving her tongue to bring him closer to his climax. 

She couldn't handle it anymore and one of her hands left his body, moving to the slit of her dress, shuffling around the silk to reach her heat. She'd just brushed over her clit when his thrusts became erratic, more aggressive.

His fingers clutched her hair, "Don't you fucking dare touch yourself. That's my job and mine only."

Nesta's eyes fluttered closed, pleasure taking over. 

"I let you have your fun," he punctuated his words by going deeper, hitting the back of her throat. "So now you'll be a good girl and finish me off, so I can do the same for you."

She moved her hand from between her legs.

"Just like that." 

Nesta whimpered, but sucked harder. She moved her head until only the tip of his dick was in her mouth and she let it rest on her tongue as she jerked him off.

Cassian's hands moved to her face, rubbing her cheekbones.

His whole body twitched and the only warning she got before he came was the mind stilling moan he let out. His every muscle tensed up as spurts of come filled her mouth. She kept lapping his cock as he sagged, completely spent and when he grew too sensitive to be touched he stepped back, physically putting distance between them. 

Nesta raised on her wobbly legs and turned around to spit in the sink. She quickly washed her mouth to get rid of the unpleasant flavour and then looked back at him.

He was standing next to the door, his body slumped against the wall, like he couldn't keep himself up without help. He was looking at her curiously. 

Nesta shrugged, pretending her body wasn't screaming to be touched, "I'm sorry, I don't swallow." 

"You could've told me," he sounded like he'd been running for days. 

She approached him, reaching him in a few strides. She placed a hand on his chest, rising and falling, rising and–

"I didn't mind it," she confessed. "I actually pretty fucking loved sucking you off." 

Cassian bent his head back, "Fuck."

There was something, in the way he said that word. Nesta had never found anyone so attractive in her entire life.

He rubbed a hand down his face, the other going to the one she was keeping on his chest. 

"Give me a couple of minutes and then we can go."

She arched her brow, "Go?"

Cassian looked at her then, smirking, "I'm taking you home, sweetheart."

Nesta's lips parted, at the promise ringing in her ears. 

So I can do the same for you.

"We're not done yet."

acotar tag list (if you wanna be added or removed or dm me or send me an ask)

@my-fan-side @superspiritfestival @simpingfornestaarcheron @the-regal-warrior @princess-rumi-blog1 @live-the-fangirl-life @sayosdreams @rowaelinismyotp @swankii-art-teacher @bookstantrash @lordof-bloodshed @nahthanks @sannelovesreading @courtofjurdan @imagine-me @moodymelanist @dread3r @sv0430 @mariamuses @leiawritesstories @thewayshedreamed @duskandstarlight @letstakethedawn @perseusannabeth

[derschleierfallt]

Pls share actor opinions!! :D

OK. biggest question of my life. gonna list top 3 favs for elisabeth and tod but i’ll throw in a rudolf or two. honorable mentions and least favs too just for funsies. also it’s going to be painfully obvious that i mostly stick to german language productions sorry in advance. and nothing too niche probably. maybe one day ill revise when i’ve watched like every video i have

elisabeth

1. pia douwes

OF COURSE NUMBER ONE IS PIA. she is my absolute favorite actress, not just in this role but also just in general. i first saw her in the role in the essen proshot, and how she conveyed all the different highs and lows of the character was just so good. you can feel every emotion and you can believe every word. i had watched the 2005 vienna proshot first, and i liked it a lot, but it wasn’t until i saw pia in the titular role that everything really clicked. her understanding of the character is so compelling, and i literally just don’t get tired of it. she’s also an absolute powerhouse vocally. hoping to go to the netherlands next year to see her in the show for real!

2. ranno hana

okaaayy i haven’t watched zuka 2014 in a BIT but… ok confession… i don’t love zukabeth. i like it enough, but a lot of the changes are just tooo hard for me to completely forgive lol. that said, i’ve watched a few productions, and this one was a standout for me, mostly bc of this elisabeth (and tod tbh but this isn’t abt them rn). i really loved her portrayal of the character, acting-wise i think she’s seriously incredible. vocally she’s not exactly a favorite, but like who gaf. she’s GOOD! her wenn ich tanzen will is one of my favorites, as is her ich gehor nur mir. so fun to watch

3. maya hakvoort

don’t be fooled even though vienna 2005 didn’t completely hook me at first i do like maya a lot. in terms of character, i think maya plays it a little more broken and beaten, which is an interpretation of the character i love. she’s crushing under all this weight, and though she remains strong, she really really shows all the cracks that form. her der schleier fallt with mate always makes me wanna bash my head in (in a really good way!)

honorable mentions

nicole sieger. kind of. only shitty audios exist of her performance but i like them a lot lol

mari hanafusa (toho 2016) didn’t love her in zuka 96 but she’s really good here

ruth kraus. recently watched a video with her and i liked it a lot! seen some people say she’s lacking but i don’t believe it

not my fav

maike boerdam. not sure if this is like a hot or cold or middling take? personally not a fan of her elisabeth, some of the acting choices take me out of it and while she’s talented, her singing just isn’t my thing! she has good moments though and she is in many great essen photos and i do love essen promo photos

der tod

1. uwe kröger

92 vienna specifically. this is The tod. u cannot say the word death without me thinking of that swoopy 90s hair. u can’t talk abt some random guy named todd without me thinking of that swoopy 90s hair. he lives in my head and i cant evict him. i love other interpretations of the character and while i dont like to be all THIS IS THE ONE CORRECT WAY TO PLAY THIS AND THIS… this is the most correct in my heart. i love the ambiguity so much. i think its essential. most vienna tods from this era just don’t really captivate me as much as uwe bc i think the bar was set so high (and vienna content is SCARCE to say the least). i like him in essen as well, but the way the character was directed in that production isssss inferior imo. he’s got good elisabeth takes too so number one

2. jesper tydén

i really don’t know how this happened. i really really just like his tod. depending on the day i think he could switch with mate. i get the vibe that his tod is a conniving little beyotch. slimy, maybe is the way to put it? but not exactly as gross as slimy would suggest? unhinged, but not flying off the handle? calculated, but not fully controlled? i think it’s also the vocals that bump him up for me, he’s got some GOOD vocals that really get to shine in this role. i do also just really love essen understudies for some reason

3. máté kamarás

like i said he can swap for jesper but today is a jesper in 2 day. for me, mate is more the acting and not so much vocals, at least later in the vienna revival run and every production onward. i do love his voice earlier on though, so it’s a shame his voice kinda suffered a bit! maybe this kinda sounds like a diss or something but ITS NOT. i think mate tod is really captivating, there’s this vibe that the impossible really did happen, he really did love elisabeth, and he plays it very well. he bounces off of the other actors incredibly (vienna revival im specifically thinking about), so every interaction with every character has something just sooo good about it. i also like how sparkly he is in hungarian productions

honorable mentions

yu shirota. see my post abt him being a freak. love it!

addo kruizinga. specifically in original vienna, i actually didn’t like him at first but his interpretation really grew on me

lukas mayer. so happy to see a new tod i actually really like show up, i hope we’ll see him in this role again

5. least fav

m….ma……r…….k… coldest take on tumblr dot com possibly ever! every performance i’ve seen he just looks so bored or so done. however i think he’s good vocally, and im sure he is better in other shows. but in elisabeth he’s bored and im bored, so not for me!

rudolf

1. andreas bieber

number one is all original vienna i’m sorry LOL it’s andreas bieber. wenn ich dein spiegal wär was written because of him (or something like that), so i think that says something! not sure how exactly to put this but i like how ? pitiful ? his rudolf is LMFAO. when i was just getting into elisabeth and browsing through youtube clips i didn’t understand whatsoever his rendition of the aforementioned song struck a chord with me. no clue what he could’ve possibly been singing about, didn’t even know the historical context lol, but i could infer enough from his acting and it was SAD. seeing mayerling for the first time when actually watching the musical in full was like ohhh…

honorable mentions (tbh i didn’t focus on rudolf much until recently so sorry)

jesper tydén AGAIN. sorry he’s good. i wish he was in the vienna revival longer than he was

dennis hupka. part of the reason why i care abt rudolf more now LOLOLOL

also to end it off serkan is obviously my fav lucheni alongside i think 99.9% of people and i have no more to say than that. serkan is the standard for me and it has not been reached again… not that my eyes have seen… except maybe that guy who was the one thing i liked abt schonbrunn 2019 but i don’t remember his name atm

[eating-plastic]

Turn That Frown Upside Down: Jester!Maison Talo x Fem!Reader

Warning: Fluff, comfort, angst, swearing, reader has a shitty (ex) boyfriend and (ex) friend, unhealthy relationship, cheating, they get their comeuppance in the end, so that means brief mentions of blood, injuries, death at the end, Maison becomes obsessed with reader which leads to blossoming yandere-esque tendencies basically, I wanted to imply that reader kinda matches his freak tho, reader is fem because I kinda got bored with keeping it gender neutral, jester AU (you'll see what I mean), probably some grammatical errors

Word Count: 7874 words

A/N: Happy Halloween everyone (early, late, or on the dot. Depends on when you read this)! So I know this seems really random and out of nowhere but let me explain. Basically I reblogged fanart of Maison dressed up as a jester by @voqalber. I wrote in the tags that I had an idea for a Jester!Maison x reader fic, and they encouraged me to actually write that fic out so here it is! A big thank you to them for giving me the inspiration to write this and also being super sweet! Enjoy everyone 🎃!

--------------------

"Come one, come all, for the show of a lifetime! Witness thrills, chills, and laughs unlike ever before! Hurry hurry to the big top now! The show will begin in ten minutes!"

Your head shoots up to the speaker that was hung up near you. You can feel your hand slipping out of the grasp that was holding it as you listen to the announcement. Giddiness fills you as you turn your attention to the two other individuals you were attending the Uncanny Valley Halloween Carnival with.

"Hey guys, maybe we should go!" you chirp and motion towards the large tent in the center of the whole carnival.

"Why? it's probably just gonna be some lame magic act or clown show," scoffed your friend. You could practically hear her rolling her eyes at your childish joy for the main event of the night, though her face didn't convey it.

"Yeah, it sounds like a waste of time. I'd rather go on one of the rides. Seems like those are the only things worth doing around here," said your boyfriend, who didn't try to hide his dislike for your delight.

"Well, I-I don't know. I think it sounds fun...," your face drops and you can feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "I mean...maybe it's a little childish, but what's wrong with that? It might still be fun."

"Well then why don't you go by yourself?" your friend shoots back, sounding rather pushy. "We don't want to go, so why don't you? We'll catch up with you when you're done."

"Oh...um, okay," you mumble and watch as both your friend and boyfriend don't waste any more time abandoning you where you stand.

You let out a disheartened sigh and swallow a thick lump that was forming in your throat. You hate how much you feel like crying right now.

You don't know why you even bothered bringing them or even why you still had them in your life, honestly. Your relationship with your boyfriend felt like it was beyond salvaging at this point, it felt like he merely tolerated you now. Scratch that, it was more like barely tolerated you because of how often he would snap at you when you'd go on about your interests and say straight to your face if they were stupid and immature. Not even you directly tearing up from this would stop him as he would then just yell at you to "grow up." Sure he'd attempt to make it up to you afterward, but that still didn't stop it from hurting like hell though.

You knew you should just leave him, but there was still this foolish little voice in your head that said it would get better. You didn't know why; fear of loneliness perhaps? Like at least being in a relationship was better than being in none at all? Either way, that was why you wanted to invite him to come to the carnival with you, even though you knew he would hate it. It wasn't until you mentioned that you would just go with your friend that he seemed to oddly give in.

Speaking of your friend, you noticed how she seemed to be acting a bit colder towards you as well, or at least she was being less secretive about it. At least she tried to seem polite towards you and your likes despite it becoming more and more obvious that she truly couldn't care less. What good are someone's manners if they aren't genuine, you'd sometimes wonder. And yet, just like your boyfriend, you kept her around. At least she gave you the excuse that she's just been very stressed lately. Whether that was true or not, you didn't know, but hey at least it was something.

All you wanted was to just make them both feel better. To try and have fun with them. To see them laugh and smile after who knows how long. And what better place to do that than at a place that was known for smiles and laughter?

'Whatever,' you thought. 'They'll find something they enjoy. And I already found mine.'

You make your way to the large tent that was beckoning to you, following the small crowd that was also heading to see the show. As you pass through the opening flaps of the entrance, you can feel your breath being taken away as you stare in awe at how spacious the inside is; it honestly felt like it was bigger on the inside. You gaze up at the lights that decorate the roof of the tent, bathing everything in a bright, vibrant glow. You find a seat, making sure you are sitting somewhere that will help you see everything the show has to offer.

After some waiting, the lights dim, and a disembodied voice begins to speak.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. You have all made an excellent choice tonight. Under this big top, you will witness sights unlike ever before. Sights meant to amaze, sights meant to scare, but above all, you will witness sights meant to amuse. It is my greatest honor and privilege to welcome you all...to the greatest. Show. On Earth!"

The lights begin to flash bright colors, almost giving the illusion of orange, green, and purple fireworks, making the crowd roar with wonder and excitement. You yourself can feel your eyes widening as you stare at the beautiful display. At the center of the tent, a spotlight shines on the source of the voice. A tall man stands clad in a red and black jester uniform and a white mask with a little red diamond on the left cheek covers his face, almost making him look like a mannequin from afar. You're honestly impressed that his voice can even come out so loud and clear despite him wearing it.

It's an odd uniform for what you assume to be the ringmaster to wear. Then again, you can see that the other performers in the shadows were also adorned in similar jester costumes. Even some of the booth workers you had seen previously wore the same jovial outfits, albeit without the masks.

'Must just be a part of the attire,' you figure. No matter, you already knew you were going to enjoy the show.

--------------------

Every performance was phenomenal to you. The suspenseful acts had you on the edge of your seat, the scary acts would make your heart jolt in the best way, and the funny acts would have you bursting out in laughter unlike anything you had ever experienced before. You were so enthralled by the show that you didn't even notice the pair of eyes that would always drift to you at every chance.

The jesters always scanned the crowds, looking for the right person to lure to their private tents to consume. It could get quite competitive amongst them, often fighting over one person, before one would have to step down and find someone else. No matter what though, the ringmaster always had first pick.

Maison always got a better look of the crowd first. There in the center of the tent, arms spread and gazing out at everyone who had decided to see the show.

Tonight was no different as he panned his eyes from left to right, scanning every person in the audience. Just then, his eyes caught on to someone, but...not on someone he wanted to eat.

The first thing that he thought when he gazed at you from his place on the show floor was one word.

'Beautiful.'

He stared at you in your seat on the top row. Sitting so high up so that you could see everything. It made you look more angelic to him. But what really won the ringmaster over though, was your smile. It shined so bright that even in the dim lights of the crowd, it looked like the spotlight was on you. At least to Maison it was.

As the show continued, his eyes would constantly drift to you, taking in every one of your reactions like a sweet breath of fresh air. After each act, you would always clap with such enthusiasm, indicating your enjoyment. What he loved the most though, was how you would laugh at the funny acts. You wouldn't hide your mouth or try to stifle your laughter like most people. No, you let it out proudly, even grasping your stomach and rocking a bit at something really outrageous. Oh how he wished he could hear it clearly.

You didn't hide your joy, you flaunted it without a care in the world.

And Maison loved it.

After the show wrapped up and he gave his "end of the show" speech, he was antsy to find you again. He knew he'd have to meet with the other jesters to discuss who was going to be their potential meals, and he knew he'd have to say you just so he would ensure none of his fellow performers would lay a hand on you. After that, he didn't care about what the others decided or fought over. He excused himself quickly to look for you.

He needed to see you again. He needed to know your name, he needed to know what else brought you so much joy in your life, he needed to actually hear your laughter, and above all, he needed to know if he would ever see you here at the carnival again.

--------------------

When you exit the tent, you don't see your boyfriend or friend waiting for you like you thought. You honestly figured that those two grumps wouldn't find anything they found fun, so they would be stuck just waiting for you and being bored.

You wander around, looking from booth after booth, ride after ride trying to find them. You try not to get too distracted from how fun a game looks or how thrilling an attraction looks. At the time, you would've thought that it would've been better if you had gotten side tracked. Now though, you're happy you discovered what you did. If you didn't, you wouldn't have ended up having such a wonderful night.

As you round a corner to look down a dim alleyway, you spot the two figures you were looking for. Just as you are about to approach them and call their names, you almost trip over your own two feet and let out a soft choke at the sight.

Everything looks like it's happening in slow motion as if your brain still doesn't want to process what's going on right in front of your eyes. Your "friend" practically throwing herself onto your "boyfriend" as they begin to make out like two shameless teenagers at a drive in. Their hands roaming everywhere over and underneath clothes.

Tears sting your eyes as your cheeks heat up in rage and humiliation. Your feet feel like they are glued to the ground despite you wanting so desperately to just turn and run away. To just jump in your car and speed off to your apartment, where you would just hide away for the rest of your life. There is also a tiny voice in your head though, that wants you to run up and kill the both of them with anything you could find in that dingy alley.

Eventually, you finally feel your legs moving, but they choose to go with the former thought you had over the latter. You dart around, looking for the entrance of the carnival so you can get in your car and cry properly, but there are so many people and your tears feel like they're coming down hard now. You ultimately decide to just hide away in a dark corner devoid of all people. You curl up into a ball, hiding your head in your knees as you begin to sob.

Your brain is a melting pot of sorrow and complete hatred. Hatred at both your now ex friend and ex boyfriend for betraying you, hatred at them for never even really liking you in the first place, hatred at them for fucking around behind your back and hurting you. But above all, you feel hatred towards yourself. You hate yourself for being so trusting, and naive, and childish and pathetic, and stupid.

"Stupid stupid stupid," you cry, shaking your head. "Worthless, no good, w-waste of space."

You mutter out every single cruel thing you could think of calling yourself because you really do feel like those things were what you were.

"...Unlovable," you finally choke out as a last nail in the coffin to your self esteem and happiness. If even your own boyfriend and friend didn't love or care about you, then you truly must be unlovable.

"Oh dear, what's this?" a male voice questions.

Your head rockets up and quickly turns to the sound. Through your blurry vision, you can see a tall man standing before you with his face obscured by a white mask. You completely forget that what this man is wearing is simply the attire of the performers at the show you had seen earlier, and instead assume it to be a masked psycho ready to kill you. A dark voice in your head tells you that you would honestly be okay with that after everything that has happened to you.

Seeing the look of fear in your red eyes, the man raises his hands to absentmindedly run his fingers along the porcelain lips of the mask. He then perks up in realization.

"I suppose you would feel more comfortable if I removed this, wouldn't you," he says while motioning to the mask.

You feel yourself being weirdly drawn towards this man's voice; it sounds so smooth and comforting, familiar even, but where did you hear it? Either way, you nod slowly.

"I figured. One moment, please," he says, before raising one hand to hold the front of the mask, while the other moves to the back of his head to undo the straps.

Once his mask is undone, he carefully removes it from his face and attaches it to his belt so it would dangle off of his hip. He then smooths over and adjusts his gray hair.

"There. That's better, right?" he asks, his voice sounding more clear and soft. He kneels down to look at you with warm eyes that hold a hint of empathy in them. Now seeing him better, you realize why his voice sounded so familiar, even without it being loud and grandiose. How could you forget the ringmaster of the show that gave you a moment of happiness before it was destroyed?

You don't know why, but you didn't expect him to look like an older gentleman despite seeing his gray hair, not that you were complaining. He was very handsome, and here he was feeling concerned for you. You even notice the little red diamond painted on his cheek corresponding with the mark on his mask; you find that to be oddly cute. When your brain finally registers that he asked you another question, you once again nod.

He then reaches into one of his sleeves to pull out a red handkerchief and holds it out to you. Tentatively, you take the cloth and wipe your eyes with it, sniffling all the while.

"Tell me, my dear, what has made you so miserable?" he tilts his head to rest his cheek on the palm of his hand. When Maison wanted to find you after the show, he absolutely did not want to find you like this.

'Oh you poor thing,' he thinks. Mere minutes ago you were all smiles and laughter. Now here you sit, sobbing and saying the most horrible things about yourself. It was awful, sounding akin to nails on a chalkboard to the ringmaster. He has to know what upset you, and he has to know how he can fix it.

"W-well mister...um," you begin, waiting for him to give you his name. You feel like you honestly have nothing left to lose, making yourself even more pathetic to a complete stranger.

"Talo. Maison Talo," he answers.

"Well Mr. Talo, I was a complete idiot," you restart, bluntly.

"Idiot? Come now, dear, you're being too hard on yourself," his face drops at the harsh word you are using to describe yourself.

"But it's true. I'm a complete fucking idiot!" you cry. "I came here with two people that I thought loved me, but no! I should've known they never cared about me! I should've known they'd do this to me, I should've left him, and I should've stopped having her as a friend, I-I should've...I sh-should...."

Your voice dissolves into another round of sobbing, causing Maison to carefully pull you into his arms to hold you while you cry. He gently pets your hair while softly cooing to you like a mother would to comfort her child; though he only got bits and pieces of the whole story through your rant, he could understand just what happened. You don't know why you're allowing a stranger to hold you, but you figure that you just don't have anything to lose anymore; you just don't care anymore. Besides, his embrace was warm, his voice was nice, and it felt like everything about him was wrapping around you like a blanket.

Even when your second round of tears ceases, you don't want him to let you go. Luckily, he doesn't. Despite not hearing your sobs anymore, he still holds you close to his chest. Your eyes drift around to look at anything to keep your mind off of the people who hurt you. They eventually settle on a weird pin that you hadn't noticed on Maison's jester costume before: a blue house with a yellow roof.

'How odd,' you think, though you guess jesters are supposed to be a bit strange and random. 'I saw those on the booth workers too. Must just be another part of the weird attire.'

You sigh and finally pull away to slump onto the ground, hand smoothing over some patches of dried grass and orange leaves.

Just then, a pleasant smell catches your attention, making you look around due to how strong it is. Maison seems to smell it too and gets an idea.

"You know, maybe a little treat would cheer you up, hm? Something sweet," he throws out, before standing and holding his hands out for you. "Come on, I know good food tends to cheer me up."

You look from his hands to his face. Staring into those soft eyes of his, this time with a jovial spark mixed in. The combination of his gaze with a small grumble in your stomach tells you that maybe a bit of food is what you need. You give him a weak smile before taking his hands into your own, allowing yourself to be pulled up.

Now that you both are standing, Maison holds his arm out for you to loop it with your own. You look at him oddly for a moment before you decide to do just that.

'Why not?' you think.

You are then led back to the main part of the carnival, though your eyes do dart around to try and spot your ex friend and ex boyfriend in the crowd. What would you do if you saw them? Ignore them? Try to hide again? Actually go up and confront them? No, if you tried to confront them, then you knew you would try to kill them, even if it was in front of everyone.

"Anything piquing your interest, Miss um...oh dear, how rude of me. I never asked you your name," Maison realizes, turning to look down at you.

"Hm? Oh! It's Y/N. Y/N LN," you squeak out, getting too lost in your thoughts for your own good.

"Such a pretty name, it's quite fitting for you," he smiles. His comment and look made your cheeks heat up. "Tell me, Miss. Y/N, what sounds good to you right now?"

"Hm," you think, looking from booth to booth before you just shrug. "I don't know. What do you like?"

The question causes Maison to freeze, but only for a brief moment. His eyes begin to dart around a bit, before settling on the first food booth they landed on.

"Apple pie," he says. Despite how quick he said it, it still sounds genuine, and you don't think anything odd about it. To really sell it though, he adds on. "I've always been fond of that dessert, over others."

"That does sound good," you nod. "I think I want that."

"An excellent choice, my dear, a very excellent choice," he grins and leads you to the titular booth.

Both Maison and the booth worker share a brief interaction of recognition before ordering a nice slice of warm apple pie for you. Before you can even get the chance to pay for your dessert, the tall jester at your side takes the plate and leads you to a picnic table off to the side.

"Huh? Hey, wait! Don't you want me to pay for that?" you stutter out, confused.

"Please, it's my treat. You've had such a rough night, allow me to make it better," Maison says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Why?" you ask, while you both take a seat at the table. "I mean...why do you care?"

"A carnival is no place for sorrow. It is a place where you leave all sadness at the door. If you cry at a place like this, then it truly must've been hurt by something awful. Something that just a simple joke can't fix," he explains, resting his elbows on the table and interlocking his fingers.

"Ah," you begin to think while breaking off a piece of apple pie with a plastic fork. "I see that joy is a big deal to you. Your costume makes sense now."

Maison let out a short, endearing chuckle at that, making a small smile break out on your face.

"Happiness is a very beautiful thing," he begins, a fond grin on his face. "A smile is worth more than the finest of art, and laughter is more melodic than the finest of symphonies. When I gaze up into that crowd during a show, it is the greatest pleasure of mine to see the looks of delight on the audience's faces. And when I saw you in the crowd tonight, it was perfect. Your smile was so bright, and when I watched you laugh it felt like I was admiring a flawless painting. "

If your face wasn't warm before, then it was on fire now. You think back to how you must've looked while watching the show, and a wave of self consciousness washes over you.

"Wow, uh...hehe. Well...I've never heard anyone tell me that before," you laugh nervously. You aren't used to this kind of attention, being doted on like this and getting complimented in such a way. Despite the fluttery sensation it formed in your heart, you can't help but feel suspicious of Maison's intentions thanks to your damaged self esteem after seeing you-know-what. Surely there was no way that this handsome, older gentleman sitting in front of you could actually see you as akin to a work of perfection.

"Really?' he asks, confusion and even a hint of sadness embedded in his voice.

"Ah...well, no," you admit. You just shake your head and wave your hands dismissively. "Oh well, whatever. It really doesn't matter. I really don't wanna think about it, this is all about having fun right?"

Maison opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and changes the direction of the conversation.

"You're right. But just know that what I said is true," he flashes you a reassuring smile before motioning to your pie. "Now, why don't you finish that before it gets cold."

He didn't have to tell you twice. You go back to eating your dessert, savoring the tastes of apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar. It's a pleasant silence until you suddenly perk up when you realize something.

"Hey, I just remembered. I made you laugh. I made a jester laugh. That gives me extra points, right?"

Maison laughs once more, just as endearing as it was previously. He was wrong when he saw you in the crowds previously that night. You weren't just a little delight. No, now that he has had the chance to properly sit down with you, he could see that you were the embodiment of complete sunshine.

--------------------

"Really? Huh, I didn't know that was how that trick was done. That's so cool," you say in awe.

"Isn't it? It is amazing the kind of illusions you can create using something so simple," Maison replies.

The two of you had been walking around the carnival, talking about different acts and tricks done during shows, your conversations being broken up by the occasional game.

"Oh! Maison! Can we try that one!" you suddenly pipe up, pointing to another game booth.

"Of course we can," he grins and ushers you up to the booth.

Like with getting your slice of pie, the ringmaster gives a greeting of familiarity to his fellow jester when you two get close enough. The game you had pointed to was a simple game where you would try to knock down stacked milk bottles.

The booth worker sets three baseballs on the counter, but before you could grab one, Maison stops you.

"Wait a moment," he says while taking the balls from you. You cock your head to the side in confusion until you watch in awe as the older gentleman juggles the three baseballs. You almost think he's trying to show off until he successfully stops without having any of the balls hit the ground, and hands them back to you. "A bit of good luck for you."

You take them from him with a cheerful "thank you" before turning your attention to the bottles.

First baseball, two bottles down.

Second baseball, three bottles down.

Only one baseball and one bottle left.

You take a deep breath through your nose as you carefully line up your shot. You squint one of your eyes and your tongue creeps past your lips in concentration. Maison had seen this look of focus on your face during some of the previous games; he found it to be absolutely adorable. You move your arm back and....

The last bottle clatters loudly to the floor!

You stare in shock for a brief moment, before a noise of triumph escapes you.

"Wahoo! I did it! I did it!" you cheer.

"All thanks to my little bit of good luck," Maison jokes, but still proudly applauds your work.

With a polite "here ya go," the booth worker hands you your prize: a cute ghost plushie with a red and black ribbon tied around its neck as a bow. You notice how it reminds you of Maison's jester uniform, and it makes you love it even more.

"Thank you!" you grin at the other jester before turning to walk with Maison some more until you suddenly stop.

A soft gasp leaves your lips as you stare at two familiar faces in the crowd ahead. Both your ex friend and ex boyfriend were looking around and calling your name as if they didn't just get done fucking in a dingy alley. The sight shatters the perfect bubble of fun Maison had constructed for you that night, and you squeeze the plushie in your arms for comfort like a child would after having a bad dream.

Maison quickly follows your line of sight and can feel the rage boiling within him at the sight of the two individuals who had broken your spirits. He quickly motions his fellow jester closer to him and mutters something in the booth worker's ear. They pull away and share a nod of understanding before the ringmaster wraps his hands around your shoulders and turns you both around so that you are standing in front of him and out of sight from the two most loathed people in both of your worlds.

"It's okay. Just keep walking," Maison whispers comfortingly into your ear.

After maneuvering deeper into the crowds for a bit, you both come out on the other side of the carnival by a ferris wheel.

"Thank you," you mumble, still holding your ghost plush close to your chest. You let out a disheartened sigh though, when you realize how late it is and that the fun would have to come to an end. "I should start thinking about heading home though. As much as I don't want to...I know I have to go back and gather them to head on out. I am their ride after all. Augh and then I'm gonna have to confront them about what I saw."

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes at the thought. Even though you hated them and would give anything to call them the most abhorrent shit you could come up with, hell you literally had the brief thought about killing them, you are filled to the brim with anxiety about the whole thing and knew you wouldn't be able to do any of those things despite how much you wanted to.

"Hey, it'll be okay, shhh," Maison coos and pulls you into his arms once more, although this time you notice how he seems to be holding you tighter than he did previously.

"Why can't they just go away? W-Why can't they just disappear?" you sob and bury your face into his chest.

"Shh shhh, I know I know," he says while petting your hair like before. He replays your questions in his head though, and has to keep from having a sinister smile spread across his lips at the thought.

''Why can't they just go away? Why can't they just disappear?' Oh, my darling, they will disappear before the night is done,' Maison thinks as he continues to console you.

"Why do you need them to ride back with you?" he asks. You pull away confused, and give him a look that says 'isn't it obvious?'"They betrayed you, hurt you, you want to cut them out of your life entirely, so why give them kindness and courtesy that they don't deserve?"

"I...I can't just do that," you say, but your stutter gives it away that you are considering it.

"Yes, you can. You can, and you will. If you do this, the fun will last just a little while longer. Besides, taking the bus won't kill them," Maison pushes. You mull it over in your head for a bit, before looking back up to him.

"Okay...I'll do it," you decide, nodding your head to confirm it to both him and yourself.

He carefully moves his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, before resting his palm against your cheek. He takes in just how beautiful you look under the bright, colorful lights of the ferris wheel, cementing your face in his mind.

Slowly, Maison's eyes travel from your face and then upwards and he looks at the large attraction you both were standing by. A small smile forms and he looks back to you.

"How about one last bit of fun for the night, hm?" he asks. You look behind you at the bright, spinning wheel and feel a smile form on your own lips as well.

"I'd like that very much," you beam, looking up at him.

With that, you both turn to go on the ride. Once your car comes to a halt and it's safe to board, Maison opens the door for you and motions for you to enter. You smile at that and take a seat on the bench inside. The older man enters after you and sits at your side.

There is a pause before the ride starts up and the car slowly begins to rise upwards. Without noticing, your hand grasps Maison's instinctually from the sudden movement.

"You're okay, look," he reassures and squeezes your hand. He then points out the large window in front of you. You look ahead and your eyes widen as you slowly begin to see more and more of the Uncanny Valley from above. Though it is dark, all of the lights from the street lamps, windows of buildings, and signs for different establishments illuminate the island perfectly.

"Woah," you breathe, completely mesmerized by the view. "You can see everything from up here."

"Indeed," Maison agrees, taking in his own beautiful sight of your wowed face. "Everyone seems to prefer seeing the view during the day. I suppose you can see everything clearer then. But I have always been fond of seeing lights when it's dark. And then there are the stars and the moon that make it all seem so right."

You stop your task of trying to spot your apartment complex from the ferris wheel as his words begin to sink in. You quickly noticed how he talks about the things he finds beautiful. He talks about them like they are fine art, mentioning every detail he loves about them. Happiness, the view.

You.

The gentle feeling of Maison's fingertips against your chin makes you turn to face him. If the view of the Uncanny Valley at night didn't take your breath away, then the realization of how close you two are does. All thoughts in your head seem to cease as you stare into his eyes and notice him carefully easing your face closer to his.

Would you have done the same thing under different circumstances, or even under the same circumstances? You have no idea. And yet you can't stop yourself from saying "yes" every time. As long as it was with Maison, then yes, you would've done what you did at the end of the night. He turned your night from horrible to perfect, resurrected your happiness after you thought your cheating ex boyfriend and ex friend killed it, made you actually feel cared for and loved for the first time in forever.

It felt right. You and him felt right.

It was gentle, his lips softly brushing over yours for a moment, savoring it before kissing you properly. It feels like he's treating you like you're made of porcelain like his mask, as if the most sudden movement would make you crack.

No, Maison will make sure you never shatter on his watch. As long as you are his, you will never feel neglected or unloved. This carnival would become your new home, his tent would become your new home. The whole fairgrounds would be your shelter from the cruelties that come with life. A place for him to construct a perfect bubble for you to forget your worries and grief, just like tonight.

Maybe he'd even make you a performer as well, if that was what you wanted. He has seen your interest in different acts during the show. With some practice, you could become a star, though you already are in his heart. Just imagine you in your jester costume and mask, captivating the audience, wowing them, scaring them, or making them laugh. Of course some of the others would probably protest that decision, hell they'd probably protest him loving you, but he was the ringmaster and he had the last say. If he said you're staying, then you're staying. And if he says you would perform, then you'd perform.

Slowly, Maison pulls away, getting a brief view of the look of content on your face. Your eyes flutter open and you raise a hand to touch your lips.

"You kissed me..." your voice comes out a little bit louder than a whisper as you utter the only thing your reeling mind can come up with.

"I did," the ringmaster says with a warm smile.

You can't think of anything else to say, so you just beam back at him and rest your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you and holds you closer as you both feel yourselves starting to descend back down to the ground.

Once the car stops, Maison steps out and holds the door open for you just like before. With his arm held out for you, he leads you through the carnival and towards the entrance. You expect to say your goodbyes there but to your surprise, he continues walking into the parking lot, slowing his pace and moving you in front of him so you can find your car.

Now standing by your vehicle, you turn back to look up at the jester that made your night so wonderful.

"I guess this is goodbye, huh?" you mumble while rubbing your arm.

"Goodbye for now," he corrects, holding your face in his hands and giving you one last smile for the night, which you return. "If you ever need a bit of cheering up again, you know where to find me. Until then however...how about a little something to remember me by?"

Suddenly, he pulls out a deck of playing cards from out of nowhere and fans them out to you.

"Pick a card, but do not tell me what it is," he says, speaking like he's performed this trick a thousand times.

You look at the cards carefully, eyes panning over each one, until you finally take the one that speaks to you. The card is the ace of diamonds.

"Good, now set it back in the deck," he continues, waiting for you to do as he says. With that, he reshuffles the cards, even closing his eyes to really show off to you. Once he's done, he stacks the deck nicely in his hands and takes the first card on the top. "Is this your card?"

Staring back at you is the same red diamond you had seen previously.

"Yes sir," you chirp, taking the card again." But I know the trick to this one."

"Oh? And what's that?" Maison questions, intrigued.

"The whole deck is the same card; they're all the ace of diamonds," you nod confidently.

"Really?" he turns the deck up so that the front of the cards is facing you. To your surprise, you can see that it really is a normal deck with the different suits and all.

"Woah," you breathe, amazement in your voice. "Must be great being so lucky."

"Of course it is. I wouldn't have been able to meet you if I wasn't," Maison then moves his hands around the deck of cards until they vanish into thin air.

"Wait, don't you want this card back?" you ask, all while you are trying to figure out where a whole deck of cards went.

"I said I was going to give you something to remember me by," he retorts. "Think of it as a good luck charm. Besides, I'm sure I have another one lying around somewhere."

You look from the card then back to the ringmaster, smiling.

"Thank you, Maison. Thank you for everything. You really made the night perfect."

"It is my pleasure, always," he gives you a little bow, before taking one of your hands into his own and raising it to his lip to plant a soft kiss to your knuckles. "Please be safe my dear and sleep well."

"Y-Yeah, of course, "you let out a shy chuckle, still not used to this level of affection, but you can certainly get there. "Goodnight to you too."

With that, Maison takes a step back, giving you the space to climb into your car. Once you start it up, you look out your window and give him a small wave, which he returns.

The tall jester stands there watching as your car gets farther and farther away until it disappears from view entirely.

--------------------

You can practically feel yourself dance walking down the hallway to your apartment, as the sounds of carnival music still play in your ears. After letting yourself in and locking the front door behind you, you set your ghost plushie down on a counter in your kitchen along with the card. You fidget with the little stubby arms of your soft specter, humming a tune you hear sometime tonight, your eyes drifting to the familiar colored ribbon around its neck.

You then turn your attention to the card, just flipping it between your fingers until you stop when you notice something that definitely was not there before. The front of the card is the same, it still shows the ace of diamonds, but on the back there is writing; a little message addressed to you.

To my dearest little diamond, Y/N,

Your beauty shall remain in my mind always. Your smile, your laugh, and you, sweet little you. Please don't be a stranger, my heart would never be able to take it.

With love,

Maison.

Underneath the sweet message, was a phone number.

You place your hand over your heart and grin widely from ear to ear. How could you possibly stay away from the ringmaster after tonight? The affection he gave you was addicting. He was addicting. And you were obsessed. You fell right into his trap, right where you wanted to be.

His plan was to win you over and he got it and so much more.

No, you definitely won't be a stranger at all.

--------------------

It was very late at night, and all light had been extinguished from the carnival, making you think that no one was around. However, if you went just a little bit deeper into the fairgrounds, you would notice the lights still on in the large tent at the center, and speaking could be heard from within.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. What a very special performance I have for you tonight," the loud voice came from none other than the ringmaster, wearing his signature mask as always, but the audience was not his usual audience. No, the audience was of his fellow jesters.

The voice caused two figures that were tied to the spinning wheels used for knife throwing to stir. Their heads pounded hard and they could both taste a hint of blood in their mouths.

"These two 'delightful' individuals decided to so graciously volunteer for this act. Isn't that just so 'polite' of them?" Maison continued on, bitter sarcasm heavy in his voice. The whole crowd began to jeer at the two partially conscious people.

Once they fully awaken, both your ex friend and ex boyfriend try to speak, to ask what the hell's going on, but are prohibited by the large clumps of cloth in their mouths.

"I must admit, I have never performed a live dissection act, but do you all, my lovely performers, not deserve something new? Something fresh?" he carried on, voice becoming even more grandiose. The crowd responded with a noise of uncertainty until their ringmaster continued. "I know what you are all thinking: isn't this all a waste of two perfectly good meals? Oh, I can assure you all, these two are much too rotten for consumption. No no no, these...things are only good for an act now."

The crowd only got more rowdy at that, but Maison raised his hands to calm them.

"Ah, I knew you all wouldn't want to take my word for it, so why don't we all get a little taste?" he moved to stand in front of a table that was covered with a black and white checkered cloth, making sure his fellow jester and the "performers" would be able to see what was underneath the sheet.

With one swift motion, the cloth was ripped from the table, revealing a row of sharp knives varying in size. If the two hostages weren't panicking already, then they definitely were now. Muffled cries of fear fill the show floor, and your ex friend even had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Maison picked up a steak knife and slowly crept towards your ex boyfriend, like a predator stalking its prey. Once he got close enough, he speaks quietly, so only the two unwilling volunteers could hear.

"It's funny," he began, dragging his red nails along the edge of the blade. "I think I would've done this, even if you hadn't hurt Y/N."

His eyes went wide at the sound of your name and at the jester in front of him bringing the blade closer to his face.

"No matter what, you never deserved her," Maison purrs, sinisterly. "She was mine the moment I laid eyes on her tonight. No matter what, you were never worthy of her, you stupid boy."

He let out a sickeningly playful click of his tongue before quickly turning to your ex friend.

"And you," he sneered. "What kind of friend are you?" Had you been nice, you wouldn't have been here. You would've been at home, sleeping in bed like an infant....Yet here you are."

He then looked between the two of them. Though they couldn't see his face, they could see his eyes through the holes in his mask, and oh, how they were seething with rage.

"I don't know which one of you is more rotten," Maison said, though his voice was much louder so his audience would hear him. Slowly he turned to look back at the male hostage, and a cruel grin formed under his mask. "But I think I'll try you, just because I hate you more."

Like a flash, he swiped the knife across your ex boyfriend's cheek, carving it so it looked like half of a bloody smile was on his face. The crowd roared with excitement at that, antsy to get their hands on some of the knives as well.

With one hand, Maison raised his mask up enough so that his mouth was exposed. Carefully, he dragged the bloodied knife across his tongue, getting the taste of the crimson that stained the blade. In an instant, his face contorted in disgust and he pulls his mask down.

"Bitter, not to my liking...but I'm sure some of you may enjoy it," he announced, watching as his consensus seemed to intrigue some of his fellow performers. He then motioned his knife to the female hostage before continuing. "As for her...well...I think I'll let you all find that out for yourselves. Ladies and gentlemen, I now invite you all to come. On. Down!"

With that, a number of jesters got up from their seats to line up and take a blade while others sat back to watch the carnage just as their ringmaster was doing.

Such a gruesome display was before him. Something that would've made him sick had the "volunteers" been different. But for you, he got nothing but a sick sense of catharsis watching it.

Maison smiled as he thought about you. He thought about what you had whimpered when you both found refuge at the ferris wheel.

"Why can't they go away? Why can't they just disappear?"

'Well, my little diamond,' he thought. 'They're gone now. They'll never hurt you again. No one will ever hurt you. I will make sure of that.'

[kookiyu]

I've been rereading from the start for the 28th time and was thinking about the first chapter Namari appears and how strong it is...

We don't know anything about her before now but this exchange she has with Laios is really engaging and tells us a lot about her place in the party and her personality. She and Laios have a shared obsessive fussiness about their particular passions that comes across as really overbearing and offputting to other people... We see throughout the series and in the daydream hour omake chapters that prior to chapter 1 Laios had been hiding his interest in monsters from everyone for a Long Time. He sits on his feelings about things and is a terrible communicator because he's afraid to open his mouth and be completely ostracized by everyone around him, based on his experiences growing up. His silence and passivity usually turns into him being exploited by others (we never learn the exact reason for his desertion but we do know that the caravan he used to work for seemed to treat him especially poorly before Falin showed up.)

Namari, on the other hand, is a huge bitch. She's extremely vocal and opinionated about things and is fearlessly insistent and unashamed of it... Laios sees this part of her and where it comes from and he respects her for it, probably because he looks up to her lack of a filter. The 'undiagnosed autistic person being ruled by shame and self-censoring by just never raising their voice' is a real and common phenomenon and we see it a lot in Laios. His line at the end of the page here and his willingness to face the brunt of her criticism shows how much he appreciates her.

Meanwhile when she listens to Laios and Senshi talk about how to prepare tentacles and sees him expressing himself unfiltered her expression is just raw shame and dread... In the context of the chapter there's definitely the practical element of "oh my god, he's eating the monster that killed Kiki" but the expressiveness in Kui's art conveys a really particular mix of emotions to me and I can only see it as a kind of projected anxiety towards Laios. It's compromising for her; She cares a lot more than she lets on about the Touden party and Laios himself. There's a sense of responsibility for enabling him and a sense of protectiveness, like 'if anyone else finds out what you're doing they're going to treat you worse than you can imagine!' But I think more than anything she's afraid for herself. Namari is a Dwarf's Dwarf. She was exiled because of something her father did and it's haunted her her entire life... Being closely associated with Laios and the rest of the party would mean not only is she associated with a criminal, she's also involved with the psychos who've been eating monsters. That's on top of the fact that seeing someone she cares about behave the same way that she does without any of the defensive reflexes she falls back on to shield herself makes her scared! You can't just be yourself in front of others like that, because they'll always see the worst in you and run with it. She also seems to struggle with her own feelings towards the party, considering how she's not shy about letting other people know she thinks Laios is weird in contrast to how she can't abandon him or the others when they need her... It's great character writing.

There's a brief exchange near the end of the chapter/beginning of the next where she talks about the importance of an adventurer's reputation... Other peoples opinions of her matter a Lot, and reasonably so! She's had an unbelievably hard time of it, being exiled from a culture built around extremely close-knit communities and networks of support for something she didn't do... I think it makes complete sense why her motivations seem completely self-interested on the surface, and it's because she needs to find her people. For as shitty as Mr. Tansu can treat her (the human shield thing is bananas; you get the sense that he wouldn't be doing it if he didn't know he could just revive her after), they're also a really close adoptive family, and they all seem to love her a lot (the twins in particular, for obvious reasons). Wanting to be a part of that makes so much sense for her. I love how dense this chapter is looking back with the full context of the series as a whole... As much as I wish she'd had more scenes with everyone, I'm really happy with what we got anyway. Namari leaves such a strong impression in spite how infrequently she shows up... One of my favs for sure

[mcschnuggles]

This might be a weird thing to say, but I think the world building in your Persona fics, especially the golden verse stuff, is very good. You do a great job at efficiently conveying information in a way that feels natural. Like the detail of Kawkami buying a cheap brand of formula. In a few setences, it reinforces how shitty her job is (it came out of her paycheck), shows some of her feelings for Akira (she wishes she got a more expensive brand), helps illustrate what the formula is like (it's basically just protein powder), and shows part of how the world in this AU functions, with just a few sentences. You don't need this explained to you - you wrote it, after all - I just wanted to say that these details don't go unnoticed, or unappreciated. You're a very talented writer, and I feel very lucky that you've written so many stories in a niche I really like, and for a game I really like.

Not weird at all! As a matter of fact, these are my favorite types of comments to receive :) I love seeing how people break apart my work, especially in regards to my technique. I don't get many comments on my worldbuilding so I can't tell you how happy this makes me! And let me tell you I absolutely LOVE having this stuff explained to me. I don't remember a lot from my works after they're finished so this is a wonderful refresher.

I've had a bad bad couple of days, but this really was the pick-me-up I needed and I can't thank you enough for that. I hope you're having a good day, wherever you are. You deserve it, anon 💕💕

[paper-bag-boy]

PJO: Things I Wish The TV Show Didn't Change/Included From The Books (spoilers)

let me start off by saying any hate to the casting/actors will be blocked on sight. the cast did amazing and i won't tolerate hate towards them

mild spoilers: now that that's outta the way...

mentioning percy having nectar/ambrosia when he woke up and it reminding him of his mum's cookies. but i get that it's hard to convey it in the show w/o narration

it would've been cool if they showed seymour the leopard too

showing how dangerous/powerful Mr D. was like they did in the books cause grover didn't have as much of a healthy fear/respect for Mr D

why tf was annabeth the athena cabin leader 😭 she was supposed to be one of the younger campers and becoming a cabin leader was meant for older campers or when the current leader died or was injured (like when will's older siblings died in the battle of manhattan and he went from the youngest to the oldest and therefore cabin leader)

i wish they showed percy being in the water when he fought clarisse and her friends cause in the books it was why he was suddenly able to overpower them when he had just learnt how to use a sword

the scene where the campers knelt when poseidon claimed him (feat. clarisse reluctantly kneeing)

changing "a kid/child of the Big Three" to "a forbidden kid/child"

the hermes cabin was not nearly crowded/messy enough

major spoilers ahead:

I'm hoping they'll show more named characters who died in the later books (e.g lee fletcher, michael yew, etc) but it's still the first two episodes and only the first season so i still have hope

im begging on my knees for them to drop hints about the traitor and show silena beauregard's relationship with clarisse so we care about her more

edit: i took out the part complaining about gabe not being abusive enough. he checks her phone without asking and spends her hard earned money for stupid things and needed his "okay" for her to go to montouk with percy. also i forgot that later percy sees him try to hit sally

that's all i can think of atm but I'll probably add more then they pop into my head. in the meantime here's the list of things i love about the show so far:

[screemnch]

The Pathologic Russian and English analysis: Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky Part 2.

I've decided that whenever I go to have my psychiatric evaluation, I'm gonna show them these series of mini-essays. The things we do... Anyway, here's the second half of my prickly prick analysis, this time from our precious miracle worker!

As the Changeling: the Bachelor in this campaign is actually a lot more consistent in between the English and Russian versions - he’s a lot meaner, condescending and all we know and love him for, so to speak. In terms of formality, he almost always refers to Clara using the informal “you,” which is understandable - she is a child, and someone who he doesn’t hold in high regard. His mannerisms, unlike in the Haruspex run, don’t change halfway through the narrative, which can be attributed to many different things - the fact that in the Haruspex run Eva survives and so Dankovsky never has to deal with the guilt of her death, for example. Or maybe the idea that he constantly treats Clara’s abilities with scepticism and doesn’t see her as crucial to the fulfilment of his plans, almost viewing her as disposable. Whatever it is, the manner of speech is very similar to how it is in the first half of the Haruspex run - you’ve got your little filler words, diminutives, rough words and an informal but deliberate sentence structure. There is a lot more frustration in his dialogues with Clara, which can be explained by the idea that he is literally out for blood for half of the game.

Overall, I was a little sad to see how many dialogue options just lead to the exact same thing via different routes, so there won’t be as many notes here as I’d like there to be. That being said, I’ve already started gathering material for the Changeling section of the analysis. Additionally, with the repetitive nature of Clara’s campaign, I’d like to preemptively say that I’ve done my best to put these in chronological order, but I make no promises on accuracy. That being said - here are some things that I wanted to specifically point out.

This line is just… Riddled with curious differences. For one, instead of psychics, Dankovsky says that it’s bad enough that half the town is, specifically, “telepaths” which is… Interesting. And incorrect, which is probably why they changed it when translating. He then goes on to say “And those that aren’t, are extrasensory!” which is much closer to “psychic” than “faith healers.” In Russia, the term “экстрасенс” (read quite literally as “extra-sense”) refers to a person with any kind of psychic ability. Though you’ll mostly find it on shitty TV shows nowadays, and it feels a bit anachronistic to use it here, the term was first used in 1979, so hey, it could potentially make sense? Finally, the line itself is riddled with exasperated little words, which makes me really happy that I pointed it out when looking through the Haruspex dialogues. The last sentence especially conveys a certain urgency that kinda seems gone in the English version. There’s no presumption. Adding the whole “I presume” was probably a way to try and emulate this urgency in English, but it ended up being more of a “wow, the Bachelor is expecting people to do as he says” which is true, but the focus of the sentence is on the “can.” Something more like “Does that mean you can do this?” And also they cut out the exclamation mark in the first sentence, which I guess just doesn’t work in English orthography.

I… Don’t know what to think of this translation. Let’s be transparent here - the closest way to properly translate the last sentence in this line is to face the facts that Dankovsky would sound like the crazy beggar woman from Sweeney Todd - “Diabolic, diabolic…” he says. And while imps and devils can very well be used as curse words in Russian, this, surprisingly, is not one of those instances. In this case, I imagine the translators chose to go for the most straightforward translation. Like having someone say “Damn…” and the translation being “This displeases me greatly!” Which I think is hilarious, but also hopefully helps bridge the gap between the two versions.

Ok. What the fuck. This is the line in the Changeling route where Clara has to stay overnight at the Stillwater and the Bachelor is all like “Eva’s probably going to hand herself in to the inquisitor and we’re gonna go and save her tomorrow” except take a look at the Russian version. See anything different? See the exclamation marks? I feel like the translation team was so hellbent on making Dankovsky the prickliest prick on the block, that they forgot that he actually gives a damn about Eva. Like, there’s an urgent tone, and air of accusation in the way these sentences are formulated to portray someone who actually cares about the fate of the person he’s been living with for the past week. The Bachelor in Russian isn’t taking no for an answer in this case, because he actually cares. English Bachelor? Honestly, sounds like he’s pissed at Eva for trying to help him. Do not appreciate.

I feel it’s important to emphasise the difference in sentiment here. The way this line is said in English sounds very distant, indignant. It’s something I’ve found with a lot of Bachelor’s lines and I’m beginning to suspect that it may just be because Russian is my native language, so I just see it as more personal, but idk. In the English version it feels like the Bachelor is just considering the possibility of saving a person (which, by the way, with how much of an ass Daniil has been to Clara is a very interesting 180) but in Russian he sounds a lot more determined, a lot more focused on the “saving” part. In a clunkier, but more literal translation, the line would be “If not Simon, then I’ll take at least you away from this miracle-rich hole.” He’s still caught up in Simon’s death, and he feels like it's his duty to help at least someone out of the place that has done nothing but get in his way (when he arrived here expecting it to help him) so uh… Once again coming for the head of whoever said Dankovsky has no heart.

So uh… See, it’s funny because… Well, in English this string of dialogue doesn’t exactly make sense to me. What’s not to get, Clara? The Haruspex has a bone to pick with the butchers, which might interfere with the Bachelor’s plans. The wording is pretty clear too, so where does the confusion come from? At this point Clara has most certainly seen a butcher, she knows what he’s talking about. But then if you think about it, the Russian phrasing of that last sentence is wildly different. See, the original phrase is “He’s not impartial to butchers too,” and let me tell you something fun about that choice of words. See, while being “not impartial” to someone may mean that you have your own agenda you’re trying to push, it does not imply having any sort of issues with the person. In fact, most Russians would use the words “not impartial” when talking about a romantic inclination. And while I’m not saying it’s the intention of the writers, by any means, but uh… When interpreting this interaction as Dankovsky saying something easily misinterpretable out of pocket and Clara just raising her hands and saying “I refuse to comprehend whatever you’ve just told me,” it makes a bit more sense to me personally, than Clara simply not being able to follow along.

In terms of being “as close to the original as possible” this line is probably one of the most far out lines. There are some lines that are translated word for word, and then there’s… This. Don’t get me wrong - that doesn’t mean it’s bad. I can actually understand exactly why these changes were made - it’s so that I would get to talk about them! The biggest difference would be in the way the Bachelor refers to Burakh in this line. In the Russian version he uses the word “леший” (Leshy) which is a word some of y’all may know from games like Inscryption and Cult of the Lamb. Leshy (quite literally means “of the woods”) is a mythical creature in Slavic folklore - an entity of the woods, the master of the forest, an overall neutrally aligned one. In some stories he confuses travellers and leads them in circles or abducts children, while in others he is a benevolent but protective figure that will help those who treat him with respect. I won’t go into too much detail, because this is Pathologic, not mythology hour, but I still think it’s a fun little tidbit of knowledge, considering who the Bachelor is talking about. That being said, in the English version he calls him a “sod” which is at least tangentially related to greenery and the like, which I think is funny. The other differences in this line are mostly in regards to sentence structure and don’t change the meaning much, so I won’t wax poetic about them.

I’m having a goddamn aneurysm. I’m shaking, crying, losing my mind. Why did this have to be translated like this? It’s just literally “My god!” in Russian. You can say that in English. You’re allowed. Or maybe like “Dear god!” If you wanna keep the faux shock element of the word. Why blimey? Why? I don’t get it. Someone please explain. Additionally, the whole “look who’s here” has a more condescending vibe of “Look who’s  decided to grace us with her presence.” So yeah. The prickly prick factor is back, babey.

The Bachelor is a lot sassier in this route. I didn’t see it as potently in the English version, I guess, because in Russian the overall vibe of this line is “A little bit… After all, you’re the only sinless person we’ve got.” Which I feel communicates both the jab, the Bachelor’s resentment towards Clara and how fed up he is with her literal “Holier than thou” rhetoric.

The Bachelor rejects the notion of love winning if the polyhedron is preserved. However, in the Russian version there is no “you lose” in this line, which I feel gives a different vibe to the interaction. In the English version it feels a little weird - why is the Bachelor trying to convince Clara to go with his plan by telling her that she loses? Is that meant to be effective? Who knows, but in the Russian version the actual phrasing is closer to “we win from you” which can mean two things: the first one being the whole “we win and you lose” interpretation. The other is - we win at your discretion. We win in your game. And I don’t know, I’m writing this at 2 am, but I feel like the other interpretation makes more sense for someone trying to be convincing.

I don’t understand why this was translated the way it is. I also have no recollection of when in the game this takes place and the dialogue itself offers very little context. The line itself however is… I don’t get it. I’ve always seen the word “darling” as a term used to either someone very close to you, or in an ironic sense. The term Dankovsky uses here, however is “cute creature” (cute being the literal meaning of the word, but in combination with the “creature” thing, it’s more akin to “dear” or “sweet”) which is a term of endearment used, at least from what I understand in literature, in reference to an innocent, gentle, feminine person. Some writers use that epithet to refer to their muse. It does not have the same vibe as “darling”; it's a lot more delicate, as if you were referring to a flower. And I don’t see where they got “darling” from that. Additionally, this is the only instance in which the Bachelor refers to Clara using a formal version of “you.”

And that’s about it for the Bachelor in the Changeling route. The main differences between this and the English version come from two factors: the specific words used, and the lack of exclamation marks. No kidding. The way Dankovsky refers to some things was just translated in a way where it conveys the purpose of what he’s trying to say, but the vibe becomes completely lost. It was interesting to see just how superstitious Daniil’s manner of speaking gets when he’s talking to Clara, given his scepticism - he refers to mythical creatures, silver bullets, and even his defence of the Polyhedron is a very… Spirited one. In other instances, the difference in terminology lessens whatever emotion the line is trying to convey. That, and the overall “tamer” use of exclamation marks removes a little bit of character from the Bachelor. He comes off as a lot more composed in English, with occasional outbursts of frustration. Just like in the first half of the Haruspex campaign, the Bachelor in the original version is a lot more impassioned, whether the emotions he is communicating are disgust or sympathy, conceit or regret. I mentioned it earlier, but it does really feel like in trying to make Dankovsky seem like a cold, pragmatic asshole, the translators accidentally took the bite out of a lot of his lines.

That being said, I want to make it clear that I’m not bashing the translation in any way. Most of these differences come from heavily made decisions, opting for either translating things literally, or trying to convey the essence but losing a few things on the way. Translators always have to deal with that choice. Even with the little experience I have with translating myself, I can understand that a lot of these things potentially could not have been translated any other way. You wouldn’t want to have to play a game where every dialogue option is followed by a footnote explaining what this specific choice of words means, and how to properly interpret them - the player’s experience is a part of the game’s design. How you understand the dialogue is also a part of the narrative, especially with how much deception is woven into the story. With all that in mind, I still feel it’s important to eventually illustrate exactly what the differences are, because not only do the way certain phrases are translated shine a new light on the author’s intentions, but additionally - some people might never find out otherwise. So uh… Yeah. Coming up in maybe yet another month, if not more - The Haruspex as seen by the other two Healers.

[cfr749]

I totally, totally agree with your view of their relationship. The Barnes episode is one I can’t watch and I just pretend it doesn’t exist. The whole situation with Chris and Ashley was just…unnecessary and written horribly. I feel like Tim treated Lucy better when he was her TO and respected her and didn’t treat her like a child which is mainly what he does now. He became more patronizing AFTER she was no longer his rookie. Additionally, he didn’t say anything after Lucy told him he would do great in Metro - just gave her a half smile and left. He acted like a teenager during the Valentine’s episode when he gave her the silent treatment when he found out she did the five-player trade. And it ended with LUCY apologizing and Tim never once apologizing for his immature behavior. He also treated her horribly in the episode when Isabel came back. He invited her to LUCY’S apartment without asking Lucy, gave her a half-hearted apology only when Isabel was AT THE DOOR and then proceeded to joke around with his ex-wife ABOUT Lucy and IN FRONT of Lucy and then regressed to his TO voice with his “Chen!” later at the station, right after making fun of Lucy trying to help him relax. Like, hello, that’s your girlfriend! Why are you snapping at her when she didn’t do anything??? Chris was absolutely a shitty partner but Tim is a becoming a very, very close second. He treated her better when she was his rookie and especially before they dated. And im so bummed about it because I had such high hopes but the way they write Tim’s character is just ruining it for me.

Hi anon!

First off, I'm glad you got to get all of that off of your chest 😂. I know how isolating and frustrating it can be to have all of the feelings about choices the show is making, but feel like you can't share those frustrations without pissing people off or experiencing backlash. So while I can't control anything other than my own response, I'll just say, you're always welcome to vent to me!

I'll be honest and say I didn't notice / react to all of the things you mentioned in the same way, but I can see your points and understand why those moments may have rubbed you the wrong way. Especially since, like I mentioned in my last post, the issue isn't any 1 isolated incident. The issue is a repeated pattern in the storytelling and messaging.

Something I want to be clear about before I go any further though:

This is not about my head canons or what I'd like to believe the writers were trying to convey.

Of course I think the idea of Lucy liking Tim more than Tim likes Lucy is ridiculous. That's why I can't figure out what on earth the writers were doing.

Of course I don't hate Tim (I literally could never!!) --- I love both of these characters deeply, and close to nothing excites me more than the idea of the two of them falling in love.

This is specifically about choices the writers made and what we actually saw unfold on our screens.

And if my takes seem to be more pro-Lucy, that's specifically because, IMO, the way the story unfolded was much more favorable to Tim that it was too Lucy.

Which isn't even surprising. Women often get the short end of the stick. Women of color almost always do. And that is literally the entire point of why this conversation is important. It's why shrugging off repeated instances of Lucy's character being eroded in service of the ship or maybe just as a result of the thoughtlessness of the writers really bothers me. It's why I'm not the only one who feels this way.

So, anon, for now, I'm just going to dig into the first item you mentioned as one of the first examples of this pattern -- the Katie Barnes of it all (sorry Katie - you were lovely - I promise it's nothing personal 😂). Setting aside the confession prank in 3x09 (which is it's own essay), this was the first time I started to really question the direction the show was going with making the ship canon. At the time, I hoped it was a blip, because we all remember that look in 3x14, and... yeah.

I believe this was the first appearance of jealous Lucy. And don't get me wrong, I have no problem with using jealousy to tell a story -- as long as it serves a purpose and as long as it's not completely 1-sided.

But instead of moving Chenford forward, this actually moved them several steps backward for me.

Like you mention anon, in seasons 1 and 2, despite Lucy being his rookie, I felt that they were very much portrayed as equals. They helped each other in different ways. I’d argue Lucy often showed she was more emotionally intelligent than Tim and used that to help him navigate through the end of his marriage, and Tim obviously poured everything he had into getting her as ready as she possibly could be to move on to the next step in her career.

But this scene in 3x11 managed to re-assert the Rookie - T.O. dynamic in a way that slapped me harder than any moment when he was actually her T.O. -- asserting Tim's view of Lucy as someone he needed to teach not how to be a capable police officer, but someone he needed to teach about the world.

He said this to Lucy. Lucy! LUCY!

If you don't understand why this is categorically absurd, please go re-watch season 1 right now.

The fact that it was couched in compliments and we got to see Lucy go squee over his praise doesn't make this any less patronizing.

Literally, I don't need to hear any man say this to any woman ever. I especially don't need to hear a white man saying it to a woman of color. And I sure as hell did not need to hear Tim say it to Lucy.

So where'd we end up?

Lucy took some major hits to her character, blurring the lines between personal and professional by accusing Tim of giving Katie special treatment because he found her attractive, and ultimately came off as jealous, immature, insecure, and unprofessional amongst probably some other less than flattering things. And note, I'm not saying I think she is these things. I'm saying she was portrayed to the general audience as being these things.

Tim, on the other hand, got a windfall -- not only did he get to be the wise, all knowing teacher (let's not forget his deep love of meditation), he got to have all his past sins erased under the guise of helping sweet Lucy understand the world is a scary place.

***

So obviously you mentioned a bunch of other examples, but this is already too long and probably not at all what you were looking for in a response, so I'm going to wrap up here. I got another ask about the Valentine's Day plot, so I'll tackle what I did and didn't like there eventually (yes, I am capable of liking things. it's rare, but possible).

Thanks for the ask! 🥰🥰🥰

[wataksampingan]

So... Episode 65 was released on Fast Pass today.

Spoilers for Episode 65-67 and some parts of the webnovel

Intriguing how one or two readers were able to correctly guess that Dodolea had assaulted Theo. I had to bumble around Naver, earn cookies one pair at a time and be rewarded by having my heart ripped out of my chest when I read what happened to him.

(”Watak, the signs were so obvious, how could you not tell?” I dunno man, I thought this was going to be supernatural magic and curses, not actual literal sexual assault). The screaming and gnashing of teeth in the next chapter is going to be wild.

How far Dodolea went is left vague-ish on purpose, I expect, though the drugging is in itself already enough to condemn her. I don’t know what sort of explanation (not endorsement) will be given for her actions considering that when Theo bolted out of there, her expression is LITERALLY “o.o”

What the fuck is going on with her? Is she going to be, as the webnovel proceeded to explain, possessed by some witch that’s obsessed with a past reincarnation of Theo? Is this witch so ancient that sexual assault is not in her vocabulary? Is the real Dodolea already dead? Is this going to take some other less supernatural turn? seungu what are you planning?? I have so many questions???

Theo’s soft-hearted nature is going to be the death of him. And I’m going to strangle this palace aide - who was only doing his job - but nonetheless. If I were Gloria/Phineas/Saoirse and found out about this conversation, I would chuck him into a sewer and leave him there for a day.

“Think about what she had to go through in society after you refused to marry her”??

Listen here, you absurd little 7:3 hair ratio man.

The woman is a princess of the blood, significantly above his station as grand duke. The only reputation she’s gained is the misfortune to be besotted by this man who’s married, and perhaps an embarrassing way of showing it. The worst thing the nobles could have said was “well, that was very gauche of the princess, what an unfortunate choice, she has no taste in men, why does she keep trying” Clearly, she still can move about in polite society without censure coz she keeps fucking showing up to mess with Perry, make vaguely threatening remarks and just generally be creepy. Like, all of that has been on her. A princess of Castor, with such a powerful family, cannot possibly be taken down so easily in social circles.

His reputation, on the other hand, despite all the admiration from the average citizen, is way worse than hers, and always has been. He’s the one whose first wife moved out after two months, claiming he was the worst husband AND he’s a supposed war fiend, bloodthirsty and vicious. I get that gossip can be fatal but Dodolea is not about to be further humiliated by him walking out. He’s already built up a reputation for being cold and rude and giving people the cut direct so why should this be any different? 

Yes, yes, princess of Castor bla bla bla - but what’s your point??

But NO, he had to think of her despite himself, despite the emperor’s shitty behaviour and what she did to him. The LOOK on his face when the servant asked him not to sUbJeCt hEr To MoRe HuMiLiAtIoN (I still find this the most efficient orthographic way to convey sarcasm; my apologies if you find this offputting).

He sat there, subjecting himself to a panic attack and PTSD because he, at the heart of everything, actually seems to care about people. Even the reason he took the drugged drink from Dodolea’s servant in the past was because that man told him how much he admired the grand duke, and seemed to sincerely want his approval. So Theo took the drink to be polite. And suffered for it.

No wonder Daniel’s smoking by episode 66. I’d pick up a cigarillo/cigar too if I had to work under these conditions.

At least Episode 67 has Theo on... some kind of mend. And we get to see Phineas yell at him for being An Absolute Idiot. You can just about tell which panel involves him wondering why he went to all that trouble of going to med school (or its equivalent in this universe) when his own nephew insists on being Stupid.

(In case it’s not clear, I love Phineas with my whole heart and each time he looks like he wants to quit and become a humble radish farmer in the country, my love for him grows three times larger.)

I'll also have to be patient and wait to see what sort of hobby Theo apparently indulges in and is thoroughly embarrassed to be found out about (interior design/architecture wasn’t what I’d expected but y’know what, go off your grace). I don’t think I have it in me to download more random apps to earn free cookies for Naver. Then again, considering the medium lengths I’ve already gone to for this manhwa, who can say really?

Pictured: the relationship I have with this manhwa apparently